#the dregs of tragedy

[tadpolesonalgae]

The Dregs of Tragedy - Part 5

Mer!Azriel x reader

a/n: took a minute, thanks to the ungodly amount of italicising I had to do, but enjoy mer!az 🧡💛

Word count: 5,969

-Part 4-

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Seaweed flutters gently against your skin, feather-light as it pulls you back to consciousness.

Small, shimmering creatures dart about in between the barnacle-covered rocks and pleasantly-coloured coral, sparkling light reflecting off their tiny scales with easy, hastened movement. Out from a crevice unfurls a purple tentacle, spotted with blue and red dots that glow faintly as it emerges from its cozy home, and you watch as it politely ambles along the cave floor.

The drift of a current eases your hair out from under you, and you push up from the sandy patch you’d chosen for sleeping, set in the top of a particularly large rock, hollowed out to create a dip you can comfortably settle in. Seaweed brushes your upper arms as you peer about the luminescent cave, cast in mellow blue-green light as unknown flora sprouts from the cavern’s walls, lighting it up. Up on the other side of the cave, you spot his long, powerful tail lolling over the ledge, the rest seemingly tucked away into an alcove that he’s chosen to be his sleeping quarters.

With some effort, you manage to leverage yourself into open water, pulling yourself along until you reach the wall, where you attempt to shift your tail to propel forward. It’s a little tricky, but not an unpleasant journey—getting to haul yourself clumsily up the sides, passing other nooks in the stone that house all sorts of fauna.

You reach his ledge, folding your arms over the smooth rock, tail swishing idly beneath you.

Dark, charcoal eyes flit over, and he pauses, before lethargically rolling onto his front, copying your position in folding his arms, cheek propped upon his forearm as he gazes at you intently.

You’re awake, he thinks, and your stomach flutters with surprise, still not entirely accustomed to the way his voice resonates so deeply within your mind. Do you usually sleep up here, or was this a ploy to have me swim some more? You ask quietly, watching as amusement glows in his eyes. Swimming more certainly won’t hurt you, he replies, tail shifting slightly. But no. This is where I like to sleep.

The stone is so smooth, you wonder, glancing down to where the rock looks to have been lathed flat. Centuries of being worn down, he replies, shifting again, and you can see this time how well the slight hollows and curves fit to the shape of his body. Almost making the rock appear soft.

I forget you’re old, you think, a hint of amusement in your tone, the edges of your mouth curving, gaze twinkling. He rolls his eyes, before his features settle into something more serious, watching you quietly. You peer back at him, wondering what’s passing through his mind.

You mentioned a connection to the moon… You hedge slowly, tail swishing a little. That a new moon is when you’re closer to humans, and a full moon is when you…get stronger?

He doesn’t reply, just continues regarding you neutrally, unable to tell what he’s thinking. Your brows twitch. Is that not right? You push, peering at him. I remember you saying we were nearing a new moon. What does that mean?

Azriel’s quiet for a bit, before readjusting himself, pulling his long tail up into the alcove. You understand we are creatures of magic, don’t you? He asks, and you nod in clarification. Quite simply, upon a new moon is when we can become more humanlike. Becoming more distanced from how we are now.

How so? You push, something about the way he’s speaking sounding…slower than usual. Slightly reluctant. Wary.

Again he pauses, and you wait, tension coiling in your arms with apprehension. But then he pushes up from the rock, easily swimming past with effortless grace, so close you feel the sea move with his motion. We can rise from the water, he answers, swimming down toward the seafloor, glancing over his shoulder as he pauses, waiting for you to follow. We can walk among humans.

What do you mean? You ask sharply, scrambling away from the rock as you try to swim downward, using your hands to almost pull the water apart. I can become human again? You push, a spark of something in your chest. You don’t have to remain a mer forever. You aren’t shackled to eternity below the sea.

His brow narrows slightly, and then he’s cutting through the water, smoothly swimming upward. You blink when he moves around you, too unfamiliar with their motion to keep up as he settles in the water above you, hands gently but firmly pulling your arms back, keeping them from pulling you forward. You aren’t going to learn if you keep relying on your hands like that, he reminds, and you reluctantly ease beneath his touch, a look of disgruntlement on your mouth. Just try using your tail more, or you’ll ingrain bad habits into your body during your developing.

There’s more? You ask, aghast, trying to turn to look at him over your shoulder. Aren’t I fully mer already?

You are. But your muscles are still growing, and becoming familiar with your new form. Not to mention your mind will also need time to catch up. He answers succinctly, with surprising coherency. Just try swimming to the floor, he suggests, easing his grip on your forearms, putting a little distance between your bodies, though you can still feel his hands poised to guide your palms away from motion.

But, tell me more about it, you push, trying to figure how to turn yourself over, to see him better. You’re able to catch the way his chest expands in what you think is probably a sigh. Frustration simmers in your chest, brows narrowing as you swiftly pull your arms away, using them to turn, much to his obvious disapproval. I still have people—…I still have someone up there, you think, gazing into his glittering, coal black eyes. Azriel blinks, features flattening to careful neutrality. Who?

I don’t— …I’m not telling you. You answer, head dipped but managing to hold his intense gaze. Tension simmers in your chest, so close to this new information.

You barely know how to swim from one place to another. You aren’t undergoing a shift.

So you’re just going to keep me here? You think sharply, brows narrowing. No, he replies, voice a little softer, you’re free to go where you like. But I’ll keep an eye on you.

I want to go back to being human, you snap, anger forming as your hands tighten into fists. I didn’t even get a choice in becoming like you in the first place, and now I don’t get a choice in returning?

A new moon will come again. We have one each month. Missing this one won’t mean you’ll never have the chance again.

I’m not wasting my time, Azriel, you think, a hint of panic rising to your tone. You may be accustomed to immortality—having enough time for everything—but we…humans don’t live forever! I have no guarantee that he…that my person will be there at the next new moon.

Azriel pauses, something passing behind his eyes.

Tell me who it is, he says, slightly tighter than usual. Maybe you’re waring at his temper.

Someone important, you yield, lips pressing together, someone dear to me.

Who?

Why does it matter? You grit out. He might not be alive by next month. Isn’t that a good enough reason to let me go? Or is the life of a human simply not worth it to you?

You’re putting words in my mouth, he thinks back, tail swishing as he calmly floats down toward the floor, and you’re forced to follow after him. Besides, becoming human and returning to that village… Someone will recognise you.

The transformation would happen overnight, wouldn’t it? Surely I could get back by morning? You push, slowly managing to shift to where he’s come to a halt, coincidentally by the rock you chose to sleep in.

You’re not going. He thinks quietly, though his attention is on the hollow of the stone, able to mark the indentation of the sand—how it dips down and curls in line with how you’d slept.

You stare at him silently, something a little too similar to hurt twinging across your chest. You’d apparently been hoping he was different. But it’s the same story.

Maybe it’ll take the same solutions.

Carefully steering a conversation, gently turning it to the right direction, without a soul knowing.

So you swim forward a little, coming to the lip of the hollow that he’s hovering above. Moving to be at his side, keeping your attention ahead. Would you not be able to change him into a mer, too? You think, careful to keep on topic without a sharp turn. Smoothly bending the flow.

Azriel shakes his head. There are…requirements, that need to be met in order for a transition to occur. We can’t just take humans here and there.

And you need humans because…?

We’re a dwindling species, he thinks quietly. Almost sadly. When an opportunity presents itself, we take it.

I was an opportunity?

Dark, glittering eyes flit to yours, taking in the tension of your jaw, the resentment tucked between your brows. I didn’t mean it like that, he tries, a glimmer of guilt working its way to his surface. It’s fine, you think back with obvious bitterness, we’re treated as objects above water, too. You move to pull yourself away, hands pressing down on barnacle-covered rock, when his palm settles around your wrist. Firm enough to be noticeable, but light enough for you to pull away.

You’re precious, he thinks quietly, features mostly neutral save for the softness at the edge of his irises. Because of what I stand for, right? Not because of who I am? You return, though you don’t pull away—allowing him to feel that control. It’s always about control.

His lips press into a thin line, and you nod slightly. That’s fine, you think quietly, holding his gaze, I’ll try not to let it go to my head.

I’m treating you as I would another mer who had never undergone a shift, he returns, his grip loosening further as you drift a little closer, enough to appear subconscious or accidental. It’s all about having power over people. Let him think he can draw you in.

As I said before, you can hardly swim in a straight line, and you will be recognised if you’re spotted above sea. You can imagine what might happen, he reasons gently.

And it would be a waste if I died, too, you return, resentment becoming more apparent. After all the work you put in to finding someone suitable. Wouldn’t that be a shame.

It’s for your safety. Don’t pretend like you can’t understand that.

No, I don’t understand it, you hiss, moving forward, brows narrowing, because above there is the only person left in this world that I care about, and you are coming between us. All because your fucked up species is too selfish to care for anything else. You drift closer, pulling your hand away to grip his wrist instead, tightly. And just maybe, if your kind weren’t snatching, stealing, and murdering sailors, there’d be more of you left.

His pupils contract, tension shifting beneath his pale blue skin, before he’s firmly withdrawing his wrist, putting a clear distance between you.

I understand you’re upset, he begins.

No, you don’t, you hiss, moving after him, you say you do, but—

I understand you’re distraught, and confused, he states again, sterner than before, though this time he doesn’t retreat at your approach. But that does not mean you can speak so disgracefully. To me, or about our kind. Something inside you flinches at the tone, tension coiling as you wait for the impact, bracing for pain.

You have only seen the end result of their process. You do not understand the pain they will subject us to, nor the degradation of being strung up along the shore for the rest of us to watch as our folk slowly bleed out, so close to their home.

You could swear you hear his voice lilt with emotion before it’s swiftly shut down, as if blocking out the building pressure of what having to witness that slow death does to a creature.

You are not undergoing a shift, he repeats firmly; finally. Not this time around.

He makes to turn, likely to leave, to give time for both of you to cool off, but your hand darts forward, gripping him until your nails are squeezing his skin, and he whirls back to you.

You’re just like him, you think lowly, close enough that—had you been human—you would be sharing breath. Close enough to count his eyelashes, to see the flecks of glittering black and storm cloud grey in his eyes. To number every tiny, shredding tooth that’s concealed by a deceptively soft-looking mouth.

At least Alaric wasn’t aware of how awful he was, you hiss lowly, moving closer still, free palm settling over his other hand, like you’re able to hold him to the ground. But you think you’re so much better. You condemn him, and pretend like you’re anything better and it’s despicable. I’ve just been taken from one cage to another, except in this one, the only beast I have to fear is you.

His eyes shutter, then he’s forcefully ripping his hands away from your hold, and there isn’t a single muscle in your body that amplifies the shockwave of fear that strikes through your body. As you recoil into yourself, eyes squeezing shut as you duck your head, bracing for the staging slap of his palm or the piercing bite of teeth.

Instead, all you feel is the slightly cooler swish of water against your front, the gentle brush of a shift in current.

You open your eyes in time to see his tail disappearing into one of the tunnels.

A shimmer of iridescent blue, and pearly white, vanished in a blink.

———

You find yourself slowly trailing after an octopus, pulling yourself along the sea bed at a similar speed to its friendly amble, tentacles stretching ahead as it swims idly through the coral.

Maybe it’s because you have no one else, but you feel a connection with the creature. One that arises from being granted the wonder to freely follow something through its life, to observe as it goes about satisfying its more common interests: how it peers beneath a rock (maybe looking to move house?), bringing a fragment from the floor (as if to appreciate it!), shifting its movements so it looks as though it’s skipping between the stones after having eaten something.

It’s been still for a while now, though, as if resting, and you’ve found a comfortable section of flattened rock to settle on, shimmering fishes occasionally swimming closer, as if to admire your own scales.

As much as you’d like to return to being human, you can appreciate the difference. Animals and other sea creatures almost seem to like you, no longer flitting away as soon as the water’s disturbed, but rather swishing to float along the currents. They seem to recognise you as one of them, rather than something that will hunt them. Playing nearer, until you’re worried some might get tangled in your hair. But they seem to have fun, darting between and through the floating strands.

You’ve no idea how long he’s gone for, and frankly, you’ve been trying not to think about it. When you think about it, you find a temper beginning to bubble, simmering in your cold blood. You don’t know enough about him to guess at why he refused so adamantly. Can’t understand the deep-rooted desire to keep his species alive, when humanity seems to be existing in every corner, like an infestation of some kind.

Still, it hurts a little to remind yourself his only interest was in changing you to become like him. It’s hard to admit, but you’d felt appreciated. Comforted. But you suppose, by nature, nothing will be that simple. You’ll never be able to truly become something animate in their minds. They seem to have more compassion for fish that for women.

At least a fish’s effort to escape is acknowledged. A woman’s is just beaten out of her until she’s fixed.

Are you enjoying following him?

You startle from your rock, peering about to try and locate him. It’s one drawback to being able to speak mind-to-mind: you have no way of telling direction.

He’s swimming down from another tunnel opening—separate from the one he disappeared into—coming to a pause a more than healthy distance away from you. Really more than heathy.

There’s not much else to do down here, save for looking at things, you reply, not quite able to bring yourself to remove your attention from him. Too wary to do so after your last conversation.

He’ll sleep for another hour or so, Azriel thinks to you, nodding back to the quiet octopus who’s tucked himself up. You might want to find something else to look at.

I think I already have, you reply warily, keeping your gaze on him as you shift atop the smooth rock, not taking your eyes away from where he’s floating.

Why are you here? You ask, tail stretching out to hang off the ledge. Am I not allowed to be here? He replies, glancing throughout the cave. You don’t feel his attention leave you, though.

You left rather abruptly. I’m assuming you had a reason to come back. You counter, regarding him neutrally. Cautiously.

He waits for a few moments, before tentatively swimming forward, delicate swishes of his tail having him drift through the sea, and you shift yourself up and away a bit when he makes to settle on your rock.

Do you still want to go above? He asks quietly. Eyes on you.

Your brows furrow, narrowing as you pin him with a resentful look. I suppose you weren’t listening, earlier? You remark, subtly moving closer to the edge of the rock.

I suppose you have no manners, either? He replies, though it’s without any bite. I have nothing to say to you.

Do you still want to go above?

You remain pointedly quiet. He’s already said he won’t allow you to go, so there’s no point in answering. It’ll likely only boost his ego, knowing you want to leave, but that he’s keeping you here.

Do you still want to leave? He repeats, I won’t know unless you tell me.

Your brow narrows, hands curling as nails press into your palms, trying to find something else to observe. To direct your attention to.

Something brushes against your tail, firm but smooth as it drags lightly over the scales. Deliberately, and you swiftly glance over your shoulder, to see what it is.

The large fins at the base of his tail are gliding over your own, stroking up the spine of the long limb, brushing against it in gentle motions. Your throat rolls, but you don’t make the effort to move away. Instead you meet his gaze, remembering how his eyes had gleamed with an array of hidden colours, suitable for under sea.

I do, you reply tersely. Quietly.

He nods, holding your gaze. Then we’ll go.

We? You ask, slightly skeptical.

We. He repeats, his tail coming to a rest from its soothing motions, settling over your own.

Your lips press together, briefly glancing away, thinking, before you turn back to him, nodding. Okay.

————

So…how does it actually work? You think, awkwardly holding him as you attempt to move in time with his instructions.

We don’t know exactly why these points exist, or what caused them to, but there are certain places that seem to exist with more magic than others, he explains quietly, holding you steady. Some folk think it’s best not to wonder, while others theorise it’s to do with ley lines overlapping, creating an energy strong enough to fuel a transformation.

Azriel had told you he would take you to one of their moon pools, supposedly the only pool near Blackwater you’d be able to reach in time—and also the only pool that would allow you to return to something resembling human. With no other method of transportation, and Azriel deeming your strange half-crawl, half-swim method of movement to be too slow, you’d ended up in this position: your palms settled at the tops of his forearms, while he holds your elbows, theoretically helping to keep you streamlined while making sure you won’t resort to using your arms for swimming. He’s able to hasten your speed, while also helping you become more familiar with the muscles and tendons in your tail.

Though the pace is still slow, both by human and mer standards.

Ley lines? You ask, peering up at him, but his eyes flick down to where you’ve stopped moving, and you restart into motion. It would be easier to show you, but essentially lines drawn to connect significant structures from our history. Throughout the centuries—even millennia—different civilisations have risen and faded, each leaving their marks on the sea bed. There are still mysteries surrounding their collapse, but from some fragments that remain, questions have cropped up relating to certain consistencies. Architecture that should be impossible, long-lost tunnel systems that seem designed to confuse and trap, cave engravings that line up suspiciously with our own history—history that would have been their future.

Moon pools seem to exist where these lines overlap, which some consider to be signs. Others think the world is founded in patterns, and detail—were it not, none of us would exist. We are all fleetingly complex systems of chance and evolution.

That sounds…fascinating, you concede, watching him with interest. To think the mer had the awareness to document their existence, as if understanding it’s not a guarantee they will live on… Acknowledging their gradual disintegration, while remaining free of its fear. It’s admirable.

Moon pools bring out an ancient magic from the surrounding earth, though they can be dangerous. As creatures of the sea, the moon is at the centre of our world, the foundation of many prayers and fables passed down through mind. A new moon is the absence of that stability, hence it turns us into something not. Bringing us up from the waters and onto land, splitting our tails into legs. That sort of change can damage our anatomy, and has in the past, when used incorrectly.

You know how to use it right, right? You ask, peering up at him as you try to remember your motion, attempting to keep up with him as he holds you steady. He nods in answer, nothing bad will happen to you.

So what happens after I…after we go back…I mean, when we change into humans?

Clothes are left for use by the pool, so you have no need for worry. But once we’re above ground, the task will be returning to your village. You will have to guide the way to your… He trails off, watching you silently, waiting for an answer.

You miss the signal, and nod. Okay, you think, gills fluttering with a deeper breath, I can do that. Will you wait on the outskirts?

His hold temporarily tightens on you, the roughened pads of his fingers pressing against your skin before loosening again. I will be coming with you.

But you’re so noticeable, you think back. You’ll draw attention. It’ll be better and quicker if I go by myself.

I will either be there with you, or we will not go at all. It would be irresponsible to let you return on your own, he reasons firmly.

I can manage myself, you return, I understand your point, but I know my village. Having you there might scare someone away.

I can keep to the shadows, he replies.

You peer at him doubtfully. He seems quite big compared to you…Will that be reflected in a human form? You have no idea what the scale would be like.

Okay. But I want privacy, when we get there, you push, following his motions as he guides you through another tunnel, the pale blue lights beginning to fade, replaced by an iridescent shimmer along the walls, like powdered stars. I don’t want to have you looming in a corner the entire time. Please allow me to speak with him alone.

Azriel is about to reply, to think that he won’t be leaving you for a single moment while in such dangerous territory, but you continue, pupils shuttering a little.

…Especially if I might have to be saying goodbye.

His jaw tightens at the obvious sadness in your thoughts. The deep-soaked pain, and loss. He doesn’t want to be listening to this.

You can go into a separate room, he relents, but you will have to be able to leave quickly if something happens. In other words, he doesn’t want you to use this last chance to physically take this man into your body. His teeth grind at the thought alone. Don’t do anything stupid.

I won’t, you reply, unaware of those un-communicated thoughts, just trying to figure out what you’ll tell him. How to ever explain your situation. You hope he won’t be scared.

Your eyes seem to wander of their own accord, moving from the iridescent walls, powdered with shimmer light, to plants perking from the rock, their ends glowing faintly as if to guide the way. The thought starts with a question, curious if he curated these tunnels too, perfectly placing these lovely fascinations at well-timed intervals to keep the caves light and in-oppressive, to transforming itself into a visual wonder of, perhaps, slightly morbid appreciation.

The tales you’d been raised on still have a place in your mind—they’d been true about the shredding teeth, their affinity for dexterity and agility beneath the deceptively calm surface of water. And yet they’d spoken nothing about the unearthly beauty.

Perhaps it’s just him though.

After all, he’s the only one you’ve encountered. Are there many others? He’d mentioned they were a dwindling species, but…

Something on your mind? He thinks, eyes glittering, and you realise you’ve been staring. How long had you been zoned out for?

Why have you been looking after me? You ask, holding his steady gaze, taking in the softness to the edge of his mouth. How his ears flutter slightly as something brushes by, but his attention remains on you.

As opposed to…? He returns, shifting your course once again, directing you toward a tunnel that has a slight upward tilt to it. There are more of you aren’t there? You push cautiously. You said that cave was fashioned after a Rainbow, so there must be more of you somewhere. And earlier you spoke like groups of mer existed to examine past events, and remnants of their buildings. Why not bring me to wherever the rest of your kind are?

Azriel is quiet for a pause, and you wait curiously, watching him steadily. It almost feels like hesitance.

You need time to become accustomed to your surroundings, he replies at last. Your mind needs to adjust to this new life, so it would be unwise to bring you to the centre of our civilisation, where you would likely be overwhelmed.

Your brows narrow as you watch him. It feels like the truth but…not all of it. Like he’s leaving something out. But maybe that’s just you reading into the infection of his thoughts too much. You don’t even know if they have a different method of intonation beneath the sea, or if thought suffices for intention.

No other reason? You push, regarding him cautiously.

He raises a brow, what other reason would I have?

Well that’s why I’m asking, you think, because I don’t know.

A noise enters your mind that sounds similar to a hum, and your spine prickles, making you shudder, ears fluttering. His pupils mark the reaction with a strange intensity, before increasing the pace a little, tail brushing lightly against your own, as if encouraging you to put in more effort. I suppose I might have wanted to see what sort of person you were, he thinks, and you wonder if you’ve subconsciously drifted closer to him.

What’s that supposed to mean? You ask skeptically, peering at him. Is there something I could have done to make you leave me?

Perhaps.

Like what?

Now why would you need to know that? He asks, amusement clear, eyes twinkling as his mouth curves at the edges, thumbs lightly grazing the bone of your elbow as his tail again flicks against you own.

Your expression shifts into one of displeasure, brows pulling together in distaste. Please just answer.

He seems to be thinking in his own mind for a bit, and you watch carefully, wondering if you’ll catch any hints to what’s passing through his head.

Perhaps if you hated us so viscerally… he answers slowly, quietly. That would have complicated things…would have muddied the choices, a little.

Choices?

With what to do with you. How to progress.

You couldn’t have just turned me back into a human using the moon pool?

We only look like humans, he thinks quietly, watching you. You can never return to one.

You blink, lips parting a little before remembering to keep them closed, keeping your mouth filled with air to prevent water rushing in. You said… but you trail off, letting it dawn on you all over again. Then why are there clothes ready? You ask. What happens if you don’t return to the moon pool in time?

The you’re simply stranded until the next new moon. The clothes are there for when folk might wish to be above ground for…longer.

But not as something entirely human.

That’s right, he replies softly, thumbs brushing your skin.

A quiet settles between you, but you try not to let it lower your spirits. You’ll be on two legs again regardless, and you’ll get to say goodbye to him. Though you hate that he’ll be the one to see you go first.

It should never have to be that way.

So what were the choices you mentioned? You ask a touch quietly, easing in a calming breath.

Those don’t matter anymore, he thinks gently, you’re adjusting well.

I want to know. You push, wanting something to focus on. There’s still so much you don’t know about his kind. About mer folk.

Azriel goes silent, his eyes taking on that strange intensity again that at one point had made your insides squirm with discomfort. Now you just hold it, levelling him with your own gaze. Eventually though, he blinks, glancing elsewhere, chest deflating in what you can guess is a sigh.

A strange tension seems to shift beneath his features, carving his expression into one of seriousness.

When you made the choice to cut me free… he begins slowly. Softly.

Do you remember what you had been thinking, when you did it?

Your throat rolls, casting your mind back to that day. Those hours where everything changed. Those few minutes, where a choice had been made. One that had arguably altered the course of your life.

I was thinking what they’d do to you, if your were found, you manage quietly. About how I’d thought it was an unnecessary act of violence, one routed in hatred and revenge, and that a conflict that continuously took lives would never be resolved.

Something flits past behind his gaze, but it’s gone too quickly for you to even catch its trail.

I thought it would be hypercritical of me to leave you. That not helping would be as good as condemning you myself. You manage, grip loosening as you’re called back to the thundering shudder of wooden boards, groaning and creaking as Alaric had approached.

I thought it would be better to save you.

Despite all the stories you’d been fed, Azriel thinks quietly, pace slowing a little, drifting unnoticeably closer. You decided to save a monster.

I don’t think you’re a monster.

But that’s what I was in that moment. Wasn’t I? You didn’t know any different.

You didn’t feel like a monster, you return.

The lowest part of your tail makes a small movement, brushing against him.

Exteriors can be deceiving, he warns softly.

Sometimes they can, you reply, quieter. Not always. But what does that have to do with it all?

Your intention, he almost whispers, so close now. Close enough to again catch a glimpse of the spectrum contained within his irises, glowing with a smattering of stars from the powdery cave light. Close enough to fully see the soft sections of his features, hidden beneath the unforgiving exteriors that you’d almost been fooled by. Close enough to pick out the hint of emotion he’s unable to conceal, raw, and blinding, and—

You recoil in a blink, jerking away as your hands frantically cross over your chest, your breasts having grazed the bare skin of his torso.

You blink with shock, having become so accustomed to your own nakedness, but now overwhelmingly aware of how bare you are. Your skin hasn’t become any less sensitive from shifting to a mer—everything is just as responsive—and your heart pounds with a drive so intense you can feel it in your stomach.

The breath puffs from your gills heavily, caught off guard by the force of your own reaction, arms still covering your breasts as you shift backward. Something brushes just shy of the nape of your neck, a mere finger’s-width from the height of your spine, and something tingling and exhilarating bursts through your blood, flinching away from the wall, hand now slapping over the spot.

Gods above, you think, heart still pounding wildly in your chest, using your hands and tail to shift to see what it was that had brushed so tantalisingly against your skin.

A small plant stares back at you, and you sigh again, returning your attention to him.

Sorry about that, you think, I was startled. You force your arms to remain at your sides as you make to shift closer, hands gliding up to settle at the tops of his powerful forearms.

It’s fine, he replies, though his movements seem a little stiff, his tail less flexible than before. You might find your spine and sternum to be more acute to touch, than before.

My sternum? You ask, peering up at him. Where’s that?

Muscle flexes beneath your fingertips, before calming, and he gestures to the bone down his chest, joining his ribs. Careful not to touch.

You blink, before nodding, looking down at yourself, raising your hand to your chest.

Azriel visibly stiffens, but remains silent as your fingers brush against the bone—between your breasts. Sure enough, that tingling feeling returns, pulse spiking, tiny muscles fluttering beneath your touch, and you hum, the edges of your mouth curving faintly.

I didn’t know you had such obvious weak spots, you think, at last returning your palms to his forearms. Good to know.

He doesn’t reply. Just holds you lightly as he begins moving again, tail shifting with less fluidity than before.

Your brows furrow, wondering at his silence. Did you say something wrong?

Anyway… you think, attention flitting about before settling on him. What were you going to say?

But he shakes his head, eyes flicking to a light at the end of the tunnel. Moonlight spilling into the water.

We’re here.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy

tdot taglist: @mika-no-sekai-blog @blueeclipsepaperstudent @lalalucha @v3lv3tf0x @acourtofbatboydreams @coureurs-de-bois9 @sidthedollface2 @lees-chaotic-brain @vickykazuya

az taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch @nightcourt-daydreaming @assassinsblade @marvelouslovely-barnes @v3lv3tf0x @kalulakunundrum @vellichor01 @throneofsmut @vickykazuya

[maeremiga]

nnanut

NUT FREE.....no...it cannut be. we must almond this crime... pistasshiation in progrrsss....

[ink-and-dagger]

What if Astrid find a pic of young Silco by accident hehhehehehhehehehehhe

Snapshot

A Drink With Me ficlet

870 words || Established relationship || Silco x Astrid (but can be read as gen f!reader) || SFW but suggestive || MDNI

“Oh my Gods.”

“What?”

“Oh. My Gods.”

Time has stripped the photograph between your fingers of its glossy sheen and has left the edges blunt and frayed, but you would recognise those features anywhere; no less sharp nor striking through the faded sepia.

“This is you.”

It had slipped from between two ledgers as you’d perused Silco’s bookshelves – an activity more to entertain your idle hands than a genuine search for reading material. The image itself is simple and candid: A young man, seemingly oblivious to the fact his portrait is being taken, sat at a familiar bar, with eyes downcast toward a spread of papers.

That same man looks up at you now from a very similar spread of papers. “What is?”

“This.” You drift over to his desk and perch on its edge, all the while unable to tear your gaze from the photo in your hands. The pitch dark hair swept back into a low bun. The familiar strays – the same ones that even now will always be the first to escape any styling under the combing of agitated fingers – falling forward into his face, only far longer and thicker than you’re used to. His skin, unblemished and smooth, save for the chronic furrow between his brows – etched there long before time and tragedy ravaged the rest.

Silco hums absently; an indication that he acknowledges your discovery but finds little interest in it. You can imagine the man in the photograph making the exact same noise, were someone to distract him from his paperwork for a reason he deemed benign. You flip the photo over. No date.

“How old are you here?”

Silco exhales through his nose, places his pen down with a pointed clack, and extends his hand wordlessly toward you.

“Hah! Do you think I’m wet behind the ears?” you hold the photograph out of his reach, “You can tell just fine from over there thank you very much.”

He cuts you a scathing glance, before leaning forward in his chair with a foreboding creak to peer more closely at the image. His scarred lips purse slightly in thought.

“Mid–late twenties. I can’t say for certain.”

“You were hot.”

“Were?”

“Were and are,” you coo, reclining backwards over the desk into his space, one elbow pitched on his paperwork to hold your weight whilst you flap the photograph in front of his face, “Can I keep this?”

“For what reason?”

“Dirty ones.”

“Hardly necessary,” Silco says, the very corner of his mouth creasing upwards as he catches your wrist to halt your photo-flapping, “You have access to the real thing.”

“True, true, and you can be sure I’ll continue taking advantage of that.” You grin, shoving your captured, photo-wielding arm a little closer to him in emphasis, “But right now I’m talking about some alone time with this guy.”

Silco scoffs under his breath and releases your wrist. You twist onto your front, weight propped on both elbows as you admire the photograph in your grip. You trace a finger down the slender throat of the man in the photo, over the generous wedge of chest exposed by his open crimson collar.

“D’you think he’d notice me? If I came into that bar?”

“Oh I’m certain he would.”

“Yeah?” You lift your gaze from the man in the photo to the one before you – as equally breathtaking. More so. You catch your lower lip between your teeth. “What line would he use?”

Silco hums, low and thoughtful, leaning forward in his chair, closing in on your space. He picks up his abandoned pen, briefly twirling the implement until it’s poised between his elegant fingers like a cigarette. Nib safely facing his own palm.

“After downing the dregs of his drink for courage... he would have approached you.”

With sensual tenderness, he brushes the barrel of his pen along your cheek, warmed metal against warmer skin. Catching at the curve of your jawline, and tracing over your pulse in a way that makes it fumble a beat.

“Cast his gaze over each of your pretty, pretty features. One by one,” he murmurs, slowly drawing the end of the pen down your jugular, down the slope of your collar bone, to leisurely trail through the cut of your cleavage. The corner of your mouth hooks up. The warmth low in your belly coils a little tighter.

“He would have leaned in close,” Silco whispers, demonstrating just so, “Close enough that you’d almost taste the whiskey on his breath.”

Blunt metal drags a purposeful line up your throat, and your lips part softly as he tilts your face toward his with the barrel of his pen flat and firm beneath your chin.

“And asked you – very nicely – to stop leaning on his paperwork.”

You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek while Silco’s dual eyes sizzle with smug mirth. It’d be unthinkable, really – to forfeit either one for the sake of a matching pair.

You straighten and push off his desk, hips swaying as you saunter over to the bedroom with the photograph in hand.

“Well,” you say, pausing in the threshold and turning to him with a smirk, “If you need us, you know where we’ll be.”

[bangaveragewhitewine]

snowed in⋆⁺₊❅

Eddie Munson x Reader (from Happy Hours, but can be read as a standalone)

Word Count: 1.4K

Summary: My first contribution to @littlexdeaths The Twelve Days of Promptmas revisits Bouncer!Eddie and Bartender!Reader as they brave a blizzard together. 

Content: Cosy and domestic overall. Mentions of sex (oral m & f recieving, penetrative sex). Spit / spit kink mention. Vomit mention if you squint. Hints to anxiety.

December 1993

Silhouetted by the brilliant white sky, he looks like spilled ink framed by the wooden window frame. Accidentally beautiful or intentionally dark and mysterious, a Rorschach print filled with meaning, you want to mount him on the wall and admire him from every angle. 

Eddie gazes out at the falling snow, the way it blankets the city streets below. He watches the flakes float and fall, fat and frosty from the fit-to-burst clouds above, and twists the red phone cord around his fingers as he listens to Wayne on the other end. 

You can’t see his face from your spot on the couch, curled up beneath a blanket with fuzzy socks and your hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea, but you would bet all of your earthly possessions that he’s wearing his worry beneath his bangs, pinched between two dark brows. You would also wager that Wayne is insisting he is fine and dandy, teasing him for fretting like an old woman (but secretly feeling heart-warm that his boy cares so much). 

Your tea is cool enough now to sip without scalding your lips (which Eddie would gladly kiss better if such a tragedy would occur). You smile into the cup when he laughs low and throaty, warming you inside out. 

“We’re good, Wayne. Yeah, the bar’s closed tonight, we’re staying put.” Eddie twists slightly to look over his shoulder and winks at you, “Yeah, I’ll tell her.” In socked feet, he shuffles back from the icy-cold glass and turns his back on the blizzard beyond. “You too, old man. Tell Laurel hi from us… Call me tomorrow, okay? Bye, Wayne. Bye.”

You watch him place the phone and its cradle back on the sideboard once his fingers have been untangled from the cord. “How’s Hawkins?” you ask.

“Pretty bad. They closed the Plant, that never happens.” 

He picks up his coffee cup, drains the dregs, and comes to join you on the couch. Eddie is grateful when you lift the fuzzy blanket for him and lays himself on his front with his head against your heart. Going quiet, he sighs and soaks in your warmth before continuing - you can feel the tension wash away now that he has spoke to his Uncle.

“And Wayne? He sounded in good spirits.”

“Mmhm. He’s good. Staying with Laurel, her heating is less-shitty. They’re stocked up on groceries for a few days, so it’s fine.” His voice is muffled against your sweater, but you can feel his relief that Wayne and his girlfriend have each other and don’t have to brave the blizzard alone. Just like you and Eddie. Being snowed in alone would royally suck.

You had enjoyed the light dusting of snow that came at the start of the week, braved the sub-zero temperatures to keep the patrons of Jackie’s happy and drunk, and endured a busy Walmart with Eddie to stock up the fridge and cupboards ‘just in case’. It was fun at first, writing your initials in the snow and pegging snowballs at Eddie, laughing until your ribs ached when you tried and failed to dodge his retribution and cold hands. But winter in Chicago was no joke and overnight, a dump of powdery white perfection and a frigid wind had frozen the midwest. Luckily, the bar closed early last night so everyone could get home safe and sound. The phone call from Frank this morning woke you both up and alerted you to the city at a standstill; there was no need to open the bar tonight and maybe tomorrow. With nowhere to be and nowhere to go, you both curled up again to sleep the day away.

A few hours later, Eddie stood by his sleepy promise to keep you warm by burrowing beneath the blankets and making himself at home between your thighs until you were both sweaty and satisfied and the bedroom windows had fogged up behind the thick curtains. 

You started cooking a lasagne as Eddie called around to make sure your group of friends were safe and sound and fully stocked up for the next few days. He cancelled guitar lessons planned for the next few days, bidding farewell to the extra cash that makes the Holidays a little more extravagant for you two. When Eddie joined you in the kitchen to help chop and taste-test, he brought loose plans to meet in the park and build a snowman tomorrow if the blizzard permitted. He watched the clock, giving  Wayne time to sleep after his night shift; intrusive thoughts of black ice and snow drifts and his Uncle frozen to the bone tightened the tension in his shoulders and made him restless. Finally, he was able to relax once he knew everyone was coping, and once he knew Wayne was safe and warm a two-hundred-odd miles away.

You watch a few episodes of Twin Peaks with the lights low and Eddie falls asleep for a while, looking younger and so peaceful. An unplanned day off is exactly what he needed, wrung out from extra shifts at the bar and guitar lessons and odd jobs he picks up along the way - a day here or there working a sound desk for community theatre, slotting in as a session musician, and learning the ropes at a local radio station (sometimes you even get to hear his voice on the air, though that’s usually when he forgets to mute himself, or his laughter breaches the booth). His ability to try his hand at anything, watching him persist and flourish, makes your heart ache with how much you adore him. Though you do wish he would not spread himself so thinly some weeks, especially now when the days feel so short, when the bar is getting busier as the Holidays tick closer and the days off are fewer and fewer. This snow day, you think, is some sort of divine intervention and you let him sleep on for a little longer than he might like - there’s nowhere to be, nowhere to rush to.

Now the apartment you share smells like the rich and warming lasagne you made together and cheesy garlic bread. Outside, the snow is settling and you sit together at the little dining table with candles and two beers in lieu of wine or something fancy. Eddie’s cheeks are rosy warm and one dimple is stained with a speck of tomato sauce that you will wipe away so gently and call him your ‘mucky pup’. Taking the opportunity to make this an impromptu date night, he attempted to serenade you in butchered Italian until you had to cover his mouth with your hand. 

“Baby, I love you so so much, but we’re going to get another noise compla- Ew! Did you lick me?!” 

You wiped your spit-damp hand on his face as he cackled and threatened to not give him an edge piece of the lasagne - as if you would ever deny him his share of that crispy cheese topping, as if licking your hand was any worse than living with his boyish burps and flatulence, as if you haven’t nursed him through food poisoning, as if your eyes don’t roll into your skull when he spits in your mouth while your legs are up on his shoulders.

Two empty plates sit in front of you as you share memories of snow days passed and agree that this might just be the best one both of you have ever had. Better than the giant snowman Wayne helped him build when he was eight, better than the big hill you went sledging on when you were ten, better than every cup of cocoa with marshmallows that warmed your cold hands after snowball fights. 

Soon you will stand side by side in the kitchen, washing and drying the dishes as you agree on a movie to watch and and wondering aloud if the snow will settle enough for a snowball fight fuelled with hipflasks of warming whiskey with your friends tomorrow. Eddie will call Wayne one more time before bed, and you will talk in the darkness of your bedroom as you fall asleep curled together under too many blankets.

Neither of you is sure what tomorrow will be like, but you both know that you won’t have to spend it alone.

Thank you for reading - I hope you enjoyed! Reblogs, comments and likes are loved, cherished and adored!

[mischiefmanagers]

Azriel Fic Rec Library pt. 2 🦇💙

I'm back with another list of one hundred Azriel x Reader and Azriel x OC fics for the Azriel lovers out there! these are in no particular order. enjoy!! ✨

🌼 personal favorite 🥀 angst 💞 fluff 🔥 smut

by @ellievickstar

River Side Confessions 💞

by @itsphoenix0724

Peony 💞

Gardenia 🥀💞🌼

Hold Me Gently 🥀🔥

by @azrielslostshadow

I see you 💞

lemon tart 💞🌼

by @imaginesmai

i love you 🥀

right around the corner 🌼

Something new 🔥

by @daycourtofficial

Cassian is a Nosy Busybody Who Can’t Keep to Himself 💞

We’re Bumping Booties, Having Us a Ball 💞

Prophesize Me 💞

Love Potion No. 9 💞

Everything is Not As it Seems 🥀

Your Love is My Drug 🔥💞

by @lidiasloca

even in sickness 💞

by @bubbles-for-all-of-us

only you my girl 💞

Pretty like the wind 💞🥀🌼

by @gothicbabydollz

more than a distraction 🥀🔥

by @azrielslightintheshadows

Princess 🥀

Best mistake 💞

Scary mate 💞

Failed proposal 💞🥀

Oops 💞

by @thesunloveschips

Eye of the Storm🌼

by @azriels-shadowsinger

Confessions 🥀

by @writingcroissant

As a Trophy 🥀🔥

by @tadpolesonalgae

Milestones 💞

The Secret World of Borrowing

Unchained 🔥

The Dregs of Tragedy

by @spellbookd

Little Mouse 🔥

by @serpentandlily

Untouchable 🥀

Mystique 💞🌼

Arcane 💞🌼

Scared to be Happier 🥀🔥

by @angelshadowsinger

Assistance 🔥

by @batboylover

mating bond snaps with a stranger 💞

Rhysand's Sister 🥀

protective w/ pregnant mate 💞

degradation gone wrong 🔥🥀

by @sxnktaalxna

Threads

by @mika-no-sekai-blog

Mirror, Mirror 🥀

Not my cup of tea 🥀💞

by @florencemtrash

The Artificer 💞

by @readychilledwine

Losing Forever 🥀

Love and 100 Other Lies 🥀💞🌼

Cat and Mouse

Whispers in the Dark 🔥

Lollipop

The Last Cabin on the Left 💞

Past and Future - Threefold 💞

Breathe 🔥

by @sarahs-library

Forgotten 🥀

by @parkerslatte

Drawn to You 🥀💞

Strings That Bind Us 🥀💞

Not Fated 🔥🥀

by @fieldofdaisiies

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart 🥀💞

by @fairydustblossom

losing control 🥀💞

encroaching promises 🥀🌼

by @mxigo

soul sick 🥀

by @leafsandstarlight

Bad Idea, Right? 🔥🌼

Never the One 🥀

Inadvertently Yours

by @jeannineee

Resolve 🥀

by @lure-of-writing

forgotten anniversary 🥀

by @danikamariewrites

Binx 💞

I Just Feel You 💞

Back Off 🥀💞

Alone? 💞

I'm Married 💞

Combined Aesthetics 💞🌼

by @theostrophywife

in my head. 🔥

by @cosmic-whispers

Control 🥀

by @artists-ally

Only Me and the Devil Know🔥

Train Wreck 🥀🌼

Smoke on the Water

by @soulessjourney

Autumn's Whispered Secrets 💞

by @aroseinvelaris

Guardian Angel 💞

by @pricklepearbloom

Late for Dinner 🥀

Baked With Love 🥀💞

by @moonlightazriel

Fake it until you make it… 🥀💞

by @lalacliffthorne

sleepy in the library 💞

sunday mornings 💞

when Azriel has a nightmare 🥀💞

by @whisperingmidnights

To Long-Forgotten Gods 💞🔥

by @sapchat

We Are Not Our Fathers 💞

by @thelov3lybookworm

Don't grieve 🥀

Babysitting 💞

by @throneofsapphics

bad idea 💞

by @throneofsmut

Size Difference 🔥

Hunter/Prey 🔥

by @shadowdaddies

The Greatest Casualty 🥀

by @fever-fluff

Home

Cats Out of the Bag, Claws and All 🥀

Take my Hand 🥀💞

by @thevanserrras

Tricks For Treats 💞🔥

by @moonlightazriel

Mask Off

by @azsazz

Midnight Muse 🥀💞🌼

by @acourtofmenandthirst

Love You In The Dark 🥀

[kamaluhkhan]

IDLE WORSHIP

SLOTH — part i of we'll write sins not tragedies

pairing: luke castellan x nemesis! reader (afab) word count: 515 summary: you and luke fooling around on the roof of the hermes cabin after curfew ;) warnings: smut!! oral (reader receiving); body worship; luke and reader smoke weed....18+ ! author's note: i wanted to do a series of blurbs *loosely* based off the 7 deadly sins and here we are....also, i (finally!) made a masterlist so....enjoy!!

♪ "idle worship" by paramore

you bite the back of one hand to keep from waking up the entire camp, the other still holding a half-smoked joint loosely between your fingers. 

luke was always skilled, but tonight his tongue feels particularly heavenly.

it hadn’t been either of your intentions for the evening. the plan was for a peaceful night of getting high and stargazing on the roof of the hermes cabin after curfew. 

not entirely innocent, but more so than what it had become as soon as luke decides to shuffle underneath the blanket you share, lips traveling down your body as he mumbles sweet nothings into your skin.

luke kisses down your sternum, unbuttoning the flannel you had taken from him. “you’re so beautiful,” he praises. luke sucks bruises underneath your breasts. “prettier than any goddess.” his tongue traces over your scars. he bites just above your belly button, fingers fumbling with your shorts. “absolutely divine,” is the last thing he says before devouring your cunt.

in your defense…. it has been a stressful week. you and luke had barely had a moment alone, and chris warned that the weed would be strong. 

it’s slightly careless, yes, especially for senior counsellors — but fuck, if you don’t feel utterly blissed out.

you almost break skin when luke tugs your clit with his teeth, bringing you over the edge. luke pokes his head out from underneath the blanket that still covers your bottom half; you take a moment to admire him.

the moonlight softening his scar, illuminating his cheekbones and jawline. backlit by a million shining stars that mean nothing compared to his smile, luke looks like an angel. 

and then, you get a better look at him — his black curls slightly askew; his dark eyes rimmed red; his lips wet with your release, curling into a smirk at how you unraveled for him so easily. 

a fallen angel, maybe. a fucking gorgeous one at that. 

“can i have another hit?”

you take a drag of the forgotten joint, holding the smoke in your mouth until luke is hovering above you. when he presses his lips onto yours, you let him suck up all the smoke, along with whatever air is leftover in your lungs. he removes himself from you, allowing you a moment to breathe while he exhales. 

luke rests one hand on your hip, and reaches the other down to run two fingers across your folds and shoves them into his mouth, sucking like his life depends on it.  

“tastes just like nectar.”

“better be careful then, angel,” you drawl and tangle your free hand into his curls. you can tell luke likes the new nickname from the way he tightens his grip, firm enough to bruise. “if you have too much, it might just kill you.” 

he grins down at you lazily, blinking slowly.

“at least i’d die happy,” luke sighs. 

a giggle bursts out of your chest in response. 

you bring the tail end of the joint to his lips; this time, he exhales directly into your mouth, allowing you to share the last dregs of smoke.

[singingcicadas]

The beginning of the Decepticons according to Megatron:

The beginning of the Decepticons What Actually Happened:

That it could ever be called a revolution of the oppressed is a joke. Megatron's philosophy is purely pugno ergo sum. I fight, therefore I am. His first recruitment speech was a promise for power, made to the most bloodthirsty audience he could dig up from the dregs of society. Those people were there because they thrived off the bloodsport. They wanted audition to join Megatron in the pits. Megatron offered them something even better: turn the entire planet into our gladiatorial arena, and we take.

Ever since the beginning Megatron viewed the Decepticons as nothing but a tool, to be used and thrown away. He wanted them to be as ruthless as possible in order to wipe out all opposition, but once his end goal's achieved, well, there's no place for ruthlessness in a perfect society under his absolute control. Therefore, remodelling and recreating. It doesn't sound like he wants to rule over actual people with individual personalities, he wants a bunch of mindless drones programmed for obeisance and peace and hardcoded to Do What Megatron Says.

Ravage and Tarn. It's interesting how they both use the word "emancipated" when lauding Megatron's accomplishments, when it's clear that Megatron did so for the practical purpose of bulking up his army. He overthrew those in power because he wanted to be the one in power. The only one. The people he "emancipated" were just exchanging one set of shackles for another, as they had no choice other than to join the Decepticon army. Not fighting was not an option. Cowardice was punishable by traitor's wheel. Going neutral was also not an option. Soundwave had specific anti-neutral pogroms for those.

I wonder if they knew what "the Megatron they loved" had in mind for the Decepticons after they won the war. The remodeling and recreating. Or maybe they thought that's just for the lowly genericons. That they would be exempt from such treatment because they were confident of their privileged places at Megatron's side. After all, if you're rooting for someone whose motto is peace through tyranny, you'd do so with the expectation that it's only Other People who are going to get tyrannized.

It's true that he did rise against an oppressive government, despite it being the goal to replace it with himself as the tyrant.

But he also thought the single admirable quality about Zeta was his ruthlessness. As in trying to kill an entire city of his own people to fuel his vamparc ribbon. And he said that in front of Hot Rod, who was forced to bomb his own city to stop Zeta from winning. Even disregarding the twisted values here, this is still fifteen levels up the insensitivity lane. No wonder Hot Rod didn't want to join up.

Torture's for fun and domination. It takes a special kind of sadistic streak. And this is before the war even officially started.

Thundercracker's view on the Decepticon cause, when he defected to save humans from the nuke:

"Everything we have done here" - Just here? He'd either been living under a rock for the entirety of the war or has some serious misunderstandings about what the Decepticon name is.

Or just been willfully blind for four million years and the deaths of a hundred billion lifeforms until the day he decided to grow a conscience. Same with Soundwave.

Tarn's a really good case study because he's the poster boy of Megatron's Decepticon propaganda. Megatron probably spoonfeeds him the stuff by the gigabytes and he regurgitates them with twice the zeal and tenfold the pretentiousness. He's also the embodiment of the vices and tragedy of the Decepticons as a whole, as created by Megatron. A sadistic hypocrite, a glorified thug, a delusional fanatic, a customized tool for use and dispose. Crippled by the blinkering desire to be superior, to be part of a greater cause.

Megatron cares nothing for Tarn, just like how he cares nothing for the Decepticons. During the war they were a means to an end. After Megatron's defection, their "toxic loyalty" became a personal burden, a blemish from his past that he would like to cast aside and move on from but annoyingly refuse to leave him alone.

The road-sweepers and the haulers. The miners. What were they to Megatron during the war? Disposable cannon fodder. A pretty banner to hide behind. For a movement that likes to justify itself as a revolution of the oppressed, the emancipation of the disenfranchised, there's certainly a distinct lack of those classes among the upper Decepticon ranks. Megatron said in his recruitment speech that he wanted strength and power. Then where did that leave the weak and sick, the empties on the streets?

Nowhere but the smelting pool, to be recycled into something useful for the great Decepticon cause. They should be honoured, really.

Freedom fighters? No, freedom won't be missed. Probably has something to do with the remodelling and recreating part.

Starscream's only partially right. It was absolutely Megatron's intent to tap into that well of rage and resentment, and he meant for the riot to happen. Of course it got away from him in the end - that's what happens when you cobble an army out of bloodthirsty power-hungry degenerates, half of which were on board for the violence, half for their own scheming agendas, and the rest stitched together by charisma and fear - but he'd shaped the events enough to come a hairsbreadth away from winning multiple times. People like Shockwave and Scorponok were treacherous, but they weren't the reason that Megatron lost the war.

It was his own blind arrogance that led to his downfall.

No he didn't lose his way. He's exactly where he set himself out to be, from the moment he gave that speech in the arena. Perhaps even earlier, to that gradual slide when killing his opponent in a match no longer felt like a guilty burden but instead brought him the sweet rush of satisfaction. There was no revolution. There was no righteous cause. There was no for the people and never has been, because he did not care about other people. Four million years and countless deaths, and it was only really about one insanely self-centered person and his deluded ambition of peace through tyranny.

Hence his breakdown, because he'd just been hit in the face with the realization that he was Wrong. And has been wrong for the past four million years. He wasted everyone's lives. He wasted his own life, wasted it on anger and destruction and hatred, with nothing but regrets to show for it.

I believe that Megatron believed he's telling the truth here. I believe that he meant every word he said, except for that one "we" on the second last line.

Because that "we" should really be "me".

The Megatron who wrote about pacifist rhetoric, who was compassionate enough to share his fuel with the injured, who cared about others and had genuine friendships, that Megatron died a long time ago in the pits. Ever since then, every murder, every atrocity he'd committed in the name of "the people" was just facist rationalization.

I'm sure that he likes the sound of "emancipation of the people" or "freedom of choice" as a concept. But when it comes down to individual people? With actual, real choices that conflicts with his desire for absolute rule? Nope. He's the only one who should get to make choices. The only one who should have choices. Because he knows best.

Form dictates your function ❌; Megatron dictates your function ✅

Function dictates your fate ❌; Megatron dictates your fate ✅

Great minds must think alike, because Megatron and the Functionalist council in the Functionalist universe did a lot of the same stuff. Massacring the Senate. Recycling people who are deemed useless burdens. Remodelling and recreating. Imperalism and genociding organics. Killing all dissenters. The Functionalists even got pretty close to Megatron's ideal of peace through tyranny with 99% of the planet fitted with brain bombs and kissing the ground at their feet. They even managed to do it while maintaining a habitable planet and full population. And Megatron took one look and was disgusted.

Megatron wasn't a misunderstood revolutionist who had his heart in the right place when he started his war. The Decepticons didn't start out well-meaning and turned bad somewhere along the way. At no point in their movement were they ever true freedom fighters. They were always Facists, through and through. They were worse than the Functionalists they hated and the Senate they overthrew. And it's important to acknowledge this because (other than it's weird to see such an obvious Facist analogy being associated with freedom fighters) otherwise you don't get the whole depth of Megatron's redemption arc, especially in the Functionalist universe.

Like the impact of this scene wouldn't be fully apparant unless you take into account that when Megatron first formed the Decepticons, all he cared about was their fighting strength. He did not care about his troops, he did not care about individual people. He considered himself above everyone and everything. He would have sneered at such a weak, ineffective form of protest. Now he's actually being supportive and seeing people as people, instead of pawns to be used.

Here he's genuinely happy to see the Decepticons, even those in the very bottom of the pecking order, taking enough care to greet them each by name. And also Fulcrum, who he sentenced to death twice.

For once in his life he's actually trying to do the Right Thing instead of focusing on himself, either on his ambitions or his remorse. The people in the Functionalist universe have nothing to do with him, yet he wants to help anyway. And he's finally appreciating the value of self-determination for what it is, instead of trying to twist it to serve his own purposes or turn it into Megatron-determination.

"No one can decide how you live your life except for you." Back before, he was going to remodel his entire army to achieve his peace through tyranny. Autonomy and free will were considered things that won't be missed.

Megatron learned to care about other people! Peace through empathy is such a groundbreaking step for his character because he used to have no empathy! He stayed true to his ideals for eight centuries despite the hardships, despite his personal losses, despite the AVL being driven to near extinction and not knowing if he would ever return to his own universe. During all those years he could have had ten million chances and excuses to break his vow of pacifism or leave on the Last Light, taking the easy way out, and there would have been no one to stop him.

But he didn’t.

[kalinara]

(Schism #5)

So this scan is a repost, but I'm inspired to talk about the Schism today.

The thing that ultimately fascinates me about the Schism storyline, as a fanatic Cyclops blogger, is that Logan is ultimately right.

Now I can quibble about Logan's particular suitability in being the one to attack Scott on this. I can point out that Idie's particular situation, the spark that ignited this particular fight, wasn't one in which a child was specifically sent into danger but unforeseen circumstances.

But ultimately, he is right. The path that Scott's Utopia is going down, at this point in the story, is a dark one. It's sympathetic and understandable, of course. The mutants are a dying race. Scott's the man holding everything about their survival on his shoulders. The circumstances of Dark Reign, which drove them to Utopia to begin with, the corruption of the government that targets them at the best of times, the very recent loss of Kurt, as much needed bringer of moral perspective, and Nathan, everything Hope...

It's too much and at this point in the story, Scott is losing the thread. He's so focused on survival that he's lost sight of everything else. Given his upbringing, Scott's always going to have trouble seeing the problem with sending kids into battle - but generally he does remember that kids are kids and need more than that.

Except at this point, he doesn't. He needs Logan to remind him.

So yeah, the crux of the Schism is that Logan is right.

But Logan is also Logan. And that's what ruins everything.

Because Scott, while he's not yet in a place to acknowledge Logan's point, is willing to meet him halfway here. In this panel, he's offering a solution. He's offering elections and the chance to each plead their case.

And okay, granted, Logan's not the best public speaker and Scott's got a lot of trust on his side. But I think if he made a public appeal, there's no way that characters like Storm, or possibly even Emma, wouldn't have backed him up.

And we know Scott's serious about elections because that's a thread that's held through later. In Rosenberg's run, when the bulk of the team is missing/presumed dead, the newly revived Cyclops comes to a realization that his team of dregs and remnants includes a lot of experienced leader types and that his own decision-making may not be the best. They end up agreeing to vote on the major decisions and that holds true.

Later, the Krakoan X-Men's membership is determined entirely by vote. And when Scott makes the decision to expose mutant resurrection, he's ready to accept the consequences if he's voted out.

So there's no reason to think that Scott wouldn't have complied with an election he lost. The tragedy is, if Logan had agreed to the elections, he very likely could have brought EVERYONE back to the mansion. Not just his half.

But Logan doesn't really care about ultimate solutions. I think he does genuinely care about the kids. But mostly, I think he wants to punish Scott.

And that's kind of been the driving element of his relationship with Scott ever since. It's why the mansion, where Scott is not welcome even before the mess with the Phoenix, is named the "Jean Grey School." Because Logan wants to drive home to Scott that Scott isn't the man that Jean loved anymore. (Even before this, Logan has interestingly felt entitled to call Scott out on his failures as a spouse - see the creepy window perching in Astonishing X-Men.)

It is funny in retrospect how as soon as both Jean and Scott are alive and in the same place again, with Jean having full knowledge of everything that happened in her absence and all of her husband's mistakes and failures, the first thing she does is shove her tongue down his throat. But then Jean's always had a pretty clear idea of the man she married. Far better than Logan ever did.

Because Logan, at his core, is an egotist. Admittedly, one with a lot of self-loathing, but I've blogged about that tendency before. The thing is, Logan is a romantic at heart. His love of Jean has always had a kind of Lancelot-esque courtly romance aspect. And I think ultimately, he convinced himself that he could only have lost Jean to a better man. A paragon of virtue.

(The funny thing about comparing Logan to Lancelot is that, names aside, I don't think Jean is the Guinevere of this scenario. In the weird Camelot metaphor that the X-Men occasionally fall into, she is absolutely King Arthur.)

And we see this especially in the comics of the late 90s, into the early 00s. Even when Scott comes back a bit wrong. Even after Jean dies. Even once he starts shacking up with Emma. Logan basically treats Scott the same way he treats Steve Rogers.

But Scott's not Steve Rogers. He's never been. He presents a good face, especially in the 90s, but even before that, he's been a trainwreck as often as he's been a paladin. He's a traumatized child soldier who'd been constantly shoved into high pressure positions of authority since before he could drink or vote. Look at his reaction to Thunderbird's death and realize things only got worse from there.

I've said before, that I think ultimately, if Logan had only realized that Scott was less Steve Rogers and more Laura Kinney, he'd have handled this so much better. (Maybe not, he's never been that great with his own daughter either, after all.)

But that's the crux of things. The Schism happened because Logan was right, but also because he had to punish Scott for failing to be the man Logan believed he was. And everything else, like AvX, and the culture of persecution (from a man who damn well knows what it's like to have murdered under someone else's control) comes out of that desire.

When it comes down to it, maybe that's the reason why the Throuple works so well, at least in concept, when the Jean/Logan side of it ended up a non-entity. Because Logan has that courtly romantic love of Jean, but he only gets this passionate about Scott.

[izvmimi]

All Roads Lead to Love? - Chapter I

cw: no specific warnings for this chapter. Please see masterlist warnings. Masterlist

It’s a spring afternoon, sunny and bright, the kind that you associate with youth, longevity, happiness, and hope, and rather than strolling through the park or having a picnic just before sunset, you’re thankfully at the tail end of a work schedule from hell, nearly an entire hour behind in your clinic and your emergency 3pm iced coffee is already wearing off. 

Your assistant pops in from the doorway and you see her in your peripheral vision quietly allowing you to take a moment to breathe, and suck down the dregs of your drink through a straw. Swiveling in your chair, making sure to care that your white coat doesn’t get caught in the wheels you glance at her. 

“We’ll survive,” you remind her. Your face is tired, but you keep your expression determined and Junko nods, affirmed. 

“Your 4pm that came late is finally here. Will you see them?”

You glance at the clock. It’s 5pm now, but you’ve never been one to turn away a patient, particularly when you’re running the pediatric clinic. The people that come to you come for uncontrolled quirks and odd conditions, and many wait weeks to be seen by you before a tragedy strikes, so you empower yourself to push through for another hour. After all, you’re finally doing the thing you dreamt of doing for nearly a decade.

“Of course.”

Junko offers you a smile, and disappears, and you take a few moments to gain your composure. After slipping a piece of caffeinated gum in your mouth and chewing rapidly for a moment before spitting it out in the bin next to you, you force a smile on your face, and then it soon becomes natural. Not too long afterwards, Junko brings in a small boy, no older than four years old, and a harried-appearing woman in her late 30s, possibly early 40s, presumably his mother. She’s whispering to him to behave already, and he has a small pout on his face. They share the same inverted checkmarks for eyebrows and sapphire blue, wavy hair, and you glean as much information from the way that she settles him before her, hands pressed carefully but firmly on his small shoulders, and bows to you before you can bow back.

“Thank you so much for being willing to see us, doctor.”

“It’s no worries! I know that you’re coming from afar - traffic is often bad, and if you had come earlier, we would have had you wait anyway, a few small things came up with a couple of patients before you,” you admit, with a polite laugh. That’s an understatement - between the teenager whose quirk, uncontrolled with puberty, left a hole in your waiting room ceiling, and the weird odor in one of your examination rooms, you’ve had a day and a half. You keep your smile friendly and big but the woman before you appears too distressed to smile back, hurriedly bringing her son to sit next to her in the pair of chairs Junko designates. Junko gives you a look with raised eyebrows when she finally makes her way out of the room and you take it in. 

It’s a warning that this case will not be an easy one. 

High acuity was all the information you were given, and nothing more. If there was anything you’d learned from your couple of years of experience was that the more information you got, the more likely the quirk was manageable, and the less information you got, the more danger you were in. 

The primary examination starts with just looking at the patient in a comfortable setting. The young boy is about the right size for his age, and his feet dangle normally off the chair as he twiddles his thumbs. He looks upset he’s here in the first place, as if he’s been scolded, but from the way his mother gently rubs his arm, you can tell she’s a loving parent. All of his features and hers are completely humanoid from what you can see - parents will sometimes worry about sudden mutant quirks in their children and require extra counseling - although they are both wearing shoes, and thus you can’t evaluate him there. He sneezes and sniffles with his mouth open, and you whisper a “bless you” with a gentle smile.

You start the interview.

“What brings you and little Kazuo-chan today, Ms. Minamoto?”

Mrs. Minamoto sighs and runs her hand through her hair. Kazuo looks at her then pouts, crossing his arms, but she rubs his knee as she leans forward to explain. Again she looks severely distressed, and you nod to encourage her to keep talking. 

“I’m not sure if I know how to explain this,” she starts. You continue to nod, clicking a pen. It’s for show, you tend to listen well enough to remember and recall most details, but you’ve found people feel more engaged when you write, like the severity of their issue is better captured on paper. You write the young man’s name down, and cross your legs.

“We can do our best to try to understand each other,” you reassure her. She laughs nervously, crossing her own legs at the ankles. Her mouth moves awkwardly for a moment as Kazuo, large-eyed as he senses his mother’s discomfort, watches her, and then she looks at him.

“Honey, just show her.”

Kazuo’s head tilts for a moment, but his mother has given him permission. Part of you braces yourself, with your own fortifying quirk - you’ve been punched suddenly and electrocuted enough times by now to not be prepared - and Kazuo jumps off the chair and approaches cautiously. 

He extends a hand awkwardly, and you look to his mother before looking back at him. You smile, although a bit nervous. 

Mrs. Minamoto encourages you to take it.

“He won’t hurt you, don’t worry,” she says. Kazuo looks expectantly at you with sea-green eyes you can practically see yourself in, the thumb of his other hand in his mouth. You take his hand. 

A few moments pass quietly, where nothing is heard except the tick-tock of the overhead clock. You feel your heart thumping, but there is no strange sensation. No electricity coursing through your veins or loss of perception, or sudden illusions. 

And then suddenly - 

Kazuo’s eyes turn white, and his hand goes limp in yours. You gasp, but he remains steady, and by the time you blink, his eyes are back to normal. 

But then, when you look up, there is a sudden burst of light, a sensation like a gash ripping into the ceiling above you, and your hair, on your head, even the fine ones on the back of your hand feel pulled  to the ceiling.

You look up, and before you realize a body is falling through the rip in the ceiling with a scream. 

You scream as well, but you’re not fast enough to try to break its fall. The body drops like a sack onto the floor of your examination room, then rolls into a sitting position, the sounds from it loud and shocked, while Kazuo scrambles and jumps into his mother’s lap. You look frozen in shock at the new person in the room who has finally stopped screaming, their wide eyes mirroring yours.

It’s not just the eyes that mirror yours.

Everything does. The curve of your lips, the bridge of your nose, the slope of your neck into your shoulders, the intonation and timbre of your voice as you utter the same phrase.

“Oh my goodness.”

Carefully, you approach each other, step by step. The woman stands at the same height as you, as you rise to meet each other, in different clothing - a pair of joggers and a loose, baggy shirt stained with some strange red substance that’s less blood and more likely ketchup. Her cheeks are slightly fuller than yours, her hair unkempt, and her skin not evened out and brightened by smooth foundation like yours is now, but it’s unmistakable.

You’re staring at someone that is not a clone, and not a doppelganger, but another sloppier, and similarly surprised version of yourself.

---

Your clinic visit ends with not one alternate version of yourself, but five. 

Five yous, that aren’t exactly you, but are about your size, your shape, respond to your given name, and speak with your natural voice, sit in your break room, and are all talking at once. The first ‘you’ that fell out of the ceiling, the one who watched Kazuo make 4 more gashes in the time space continuum and force 4 more terrified women with roughly your appearance and temperament to tumble out, sits at the head of the table, and shakes her head when you finally close the door behind you. All you could do by the close of the visit was to dismiss the child and his mother with a year’s prescription of quirk stabilizers - it will be a temporizing measure for this universe-bending quirk while you come up with a long term plan on how to manage the quirk’s use.

“So why did you need this baby to use their quirk 5 times to make a diagnosis?” she asks, before you can even find a place to sit among your… contemporaries. You stop in your tracks, surprised, and she looks at you, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows raised as she, or rather you, waits for an answer.

Stung despite the situation, you’re immediately defensive.

“Well, I wasn’t completely sure what was going on and didn’t want to make any rash decisions.”

She snorts, and opens her mouth to say something else, but realizes that it’s only ridiculous to be arguing with yourself, then shakes her head again.

“I wouldn’t have done it,” she murmurs, and the fourth-realized you in the room shrugs.

“It’s not unreasonable to be overly careful sometimes. In my practice, I actually let most of the kids wear out their quirks completely,” she says without looking up. This version of you, surprisingly defending you, is dressed in clothing that is still casual, but less casual than the your first alternate version who must have been lounging about at home when she materialized in your universe. She’d fallen through to your world holding a cell phone in her hands that no longer works, and is still trying to find a way to get it to turn on when your head turns her direction. You anoint her with the name Text Message in your thoughts.

“I think you should just give up on that,” the third extra you says. She looks like you but somehow more exhausted, if that is possible, dark circles lining her eyes, and it reminds you to drink water and sleep at a reasonable time tonight. You give her the name Beauty Sleep. “If we’ve already established that we’re in an alternate universe, I’m pretty sure whoever you’re desperately trying to contact is going to have to wait a while.”

Text Message frowns then pushes her phone aside. Her legs cross at the ankles first, but then she sits cross-legged on the seat, mirroring the action of the first annoyed appearing version of you - Salty - but she looks more worried than anything. 

“Izuku and I were in the middle of a text conversation and stopped in a bad place, he’s going to be worried,” she murmurs in a quiet voice, leaning forward in defeat and pressing her chin to the table.

The mention of this name is sudden and unexpected enough that it startles you, but not as much as the fact that every other you in the room’s attention is suddenly captured.

“Oh shit, he is going to panic,” the quietest version of you in the room finally speaks up. She’d appeared with damp skin, a towel wrapped around her body and a plastic cap over her head, just fresh out of the shower, and the embarrassment she’d experienced as she scrambled to not expose herself to a bunch of strangers, including a child, prevented her from talking until now. Shower Cap is now dressed in a disposable medical gown that Junko offered her and looks concerned.

“He won’t die, he’s just dramatic,” another you pipes up. She’s the closest to you in appearance, nearly dressed in the exact same outfit, down to the white coat, except she opted for a bright red blouse, a color you wear rarely, over your more muted soft pink. 

“I mean we all know that,”  Salty starts, her voice flippant, “but I don’t think you not answering a text for an hour is that big a deal.”

“Plus, he’s probably working anyway,” Beauty Sleep chimes in.

Text Message frowns. “You’re acting like you don’t know his tendency to assume the worst, and I literally stopped talking mid sentence...”

Beauty Sleep and Salty both grimace, while Bright Red snorts.

“Kind of wish I could follow you back to your world just so I can see that search party.”

You continue to watch the other yous chatter and joke about Izuku in particular in confusion, without a word to say. It’s not odd for them to all know Izuku, after all, you went to high school with him and parted ways after graduation; you see him on every channel, every two billboards sport his million-watt smile, and you have his number in your phone even if you won’t call it, but the rest of your entities are preoccupied with him in a way much more than befits a high school friend whose paths no longer naturally cross. 

It’s only when you see the glittering rock on Red’s hand, the facets reflecting the overhead lights, and realize that more than one of these women has a variation of this exact engagement ring, that you start to wonder. Your heart thumps.

“Hold on, who is Izuku to you guys?” you ask, your look directly on Text Message first who appears genuinely appalled by the question. She stares at you wide-eyed, then to Red across the room, who tilts her head as she looks at you. Salty leans in and whispers something to Shower Cap.

One after the other, each responds and your stomach twists more with every single response.

Husband. Fiance. Live-in boyfriend. Husband. Husband.

You grimace, frankly somewhat stunned, but now they’re looking at you strangely, as though you’re the odd one in the room. 

Salty tilts her head. “Wait, what happened in this universe?” she asks. Beauty Sleep slaps her hand gently then hisses but it’s loud enough that you can hear.

“What if he died? It could be a sore topic!” she hisses. You look at her exasperated, reminding her that you can hear her.

“He didn’t die, we’re just…” you pause, unsure what to say next. You’re not friends, you’re not acquaintances, you’re just… not important to each other in this universe you think. Realizing that you had been standing the entire time, you slip into an open chair, and sit down. You run your hands through your hair for a moment, then sigh, then look up.

“Relationship issue?” Shower Cap asks, sympathetically. “We had a lot of those before we got married-”

You glare at her, and she falls silent. Salty’s hand goes to her belly for a moment, and she doesn’t say it, but the glow of her skin, the rounder cheeks, baggy clothing and snappy behavior now register to you as pregnancy. You hold your breath for a moment as this occurs to you, then irritation fills your throat instead.

“Enough about Midoriya.” You check your wall clock. Kazuo’s quirk, according to his mother, creates these clones for about 90 minutes, which gives you about a half hour to learn as much as you can from them. Rising again, you dig for five sheets of paper in a cabinet, and place a small stack with a pen in front of every version of you.

“Tell me everything up to today. Where you were born, family members, how your quirks work, etc. I’ll be back in an hour.”

Text Message gives you a sympathetic look, and you wonder if she can tell that you’re a bit shaken, then remember that of course you are, because you are her and she is you. 

You make your way out of the room quickly, and don’t return until they’ve vanished. The medical gown you gave Shower Cap lays crumpled in a chair, and Text Message’s phone is gone. You pick up 5 narratives, and prepare to go home for the night.

By the time you get around to reading those narratives, it’s ten p.m. and you’re sitting cross-legged on the chair in your home office, not unlike the way Text Message was earlier. It’s uncanny at first glance just how similar just the handwriting is, although you can detect some differences - Beauty Sleep’s handwriting appears sloppier and her words are more disjointed, and Salty’s handwriting is much more compressed, as though she had a lot running through her mind. They all wrote in the form of a letter, although you didn’t ask them to, but you’d imagine you would have to if you were put in their situation. Shower Cap signs off her name with a heart, like you often did in high school, and Bright Red signs her name with her first and last unlike the others, but the last name is Midoriya, and it makes your stomach turn.

You let out a deep breath and start reading. All the narratives are essentially the same, same family, same Quirk, same schooling in both length and general trajectory, with small differences. In Shower Cap’s universe, you have not started your clinic yet, and took a couple extra years for a postdoc degree in America. She returned to Japan just a few weeks ago. In Bright Red’s universe, your clinic is partially funded and owned by All Might’s memorial agency (he is thankfully still alive) and is much larger and well staffed than your clinic now. Beauty Sleep had a child a few months ago and has taken a leave of absence from both hero work and medicine. Salty did not start a clinic and did an accelerated medical program and instead works as a Support Type Hero on the field full-time, although now in a leave of absence due to her pregnancy. She’s thinking of a name. Text Message was the closest to choosing to leave Hero Work and medicine completely, despite the fact that she seems to live the most parallel life to you up front, and when you read her narrative more closely, it’s because she was practically killed during the war about a decade ago. It takes you a moment to recollect yourself as you read her narrative, tears pricking at your eyes, as you remember your own trauma that is nowhere close to hers. You were not on the front lines.

Multiverse theory on TV and cinema had never been that exciting to you, but you have to admit that seeing it in real life is a blow to the psyche.

As you continue to analyze, you can tell they attempt to not center their narratives around Midoriya, all except Shower Cap, who seems a lot more carefree than the rest of you overall, but there’s not much they can do to avoid discussing him when he’s their partner. This part confuses you and makes you uncomfortable. It’s not that you find Midoriya unattractive - in fact, you find him very attractive, and your crush on him was not particularly subtle in high school, but it never went further than a few pointedly kind words, enthusiastic smiles, the stutter when he approaches anyone of the opposite sex fading over time when he spoke to you. You became friends, close in the way that people who go through the same trauma of growing up and having to save the world do, but not close in the way soulmates or best friends are. After all, he had a soulmate, and he had best friends, and anything you could offer was already available.

And even that had trailed off over time as you got busier and life got more demanding.

Your last real conversation had been somewhere near the end of high school; you’d considered telling him you liked him, more than a little bit, but by then he’d appeared so far out of reach. Your window was closed and thus you stowed away your feelings. You had a short-lived high school romance shortly thereafter, a boyfriend from the support class, who you’d also ended up parting ways with just months after graduation. You’d launched yourself in your studies, cultivating your friendships with your family and best friends instead, unwilling to chase boys.

Unable to notice if you were being chased.

At the end of Salty’s narrative, she states that she understands why you’re confused. She’d also not expected to fall for Midoriya in any serious way, but the cards fell as they did. She reminds you that if it’s different for you, not to force it -

Not to let anyone else convince you that your life is anything less than it’s meant to be.

[daisyofwaterdeep]

write something for ketheric or raphael and i will pledge an oath of devotion to you—

(unless you make raphael a sex god;; that man cannot fuck!!)

why not both????? (sorta lol)

'Stolen Pleasures'

Raphael x cis female Reader

Content: NSFW, dubcon, blackmailing, painful sex

~

The shadow curse is lifting with every moment. The oppression of the darkness is slowly draining away, making every breath easier than the last. You should be happy.

So why are you here, body in the chill of the river, thinking about Ketheric? You replay the words you shared with him at the top of Moonrise. How lost he seemed. How he was ready to surrender. And then there, in the colony, how his despair had taken him. That voice of his, commanding yet softened with age. Desperate, calling out to his daughter.

Your flickering moonlantern is on the bank, spilling yellow light that shakes and shimmers across the moving water. You watch the shifting light and think about how it's similar to Ketheric. A phantom, intent on it's duty, no matter how the forces around it try to drag it away. But in the end, it provides no warmth--it's just a reflection of the real thing.

You wonder if Ketheric could have been saved in different circumstances. Was his story truly destined for tragedy? Was his life set to end in heartache, the moment he gave himself to Myrkul?

Despite the damage done to the lands, to the people he loved...you find your heart going out to him. A man so consumed by grief, by love, that he gave up everything. Despite everything, you can see the great man that he once was-- a phantom within a reflection.

What if a kiss could have saved him, like a fairytale?

You're tired from the battle and only barely running on the last dregs of your adrenaline. You blame that on your odd thoughts.

A kiss....what if you had kissed him? Held his sorrowful frame against your own, told him that it was all okay, that you could save him?

You sink down into the water, looking towards the glow of the campfire a dozen yards away. You can just make out the outline of a set of horns silhouetted by the light. It seems that Wyll is taking the first watch. It's unlikely that a gentleman such as himself would look this way...

Your hands run across your stomach, venturing up to the weight of your breasts, suspended in the water. Your nipples are hard and aching from the cold, and your water-chilled hands offer no relief.

You imagine the soft rumble of Ketheric's voice as you fondle yourself, the way it would sound if he dropped it low, perhaps to say something sweet to you. And those hands, ravaged by time yet still so strong, so sure. How would they feel against your skin--not to hurt, but to seek refuge?

You close your eyes and inhale sharply as your hands go down, past your navel, then through your pubic hair.

"Ketheric..."

You say the name as quietly as possible, barely audible even to yourself over the soft rush of the water, yet you still shiver with it.

"Ahh, I see."

The voice comes from right behind you, dangerously close to your ear, and you yelp and whip around, already knowing full well who you'll see.

Raphael smiles at you, lidded eyes appearing black in the flickering light of the lantern. He's bare-chested, the dark waters cutting him right at the waist.

"I was wondering what such a delicate thing was doing out here by herself...I had my suspicions, of course, but who could have predicted--"

"What are you doing here, devil?" You cut him off with a bark, feet already edging closer to the bank, knowing your dagger is tucked beneath the pile of your discarded clothes.

Raphael only continues to smile, picking up his sentence as if you hadn't interrupted him "--that you were thinking of the General?"

You fluster and flounder, unable to deny his words. He seems delighted by your face, giving a dark chuckle as he wades his hands across the surface of the water.

"Oh my, how scandalous." He draws the word out with a sultry hiss as he steps forward, easily closing the gap between the two of you. "Do you pleasure yourself to all of you fallen enemies, I wonder?"

"I'll scream."

"Oh come now, don't go and do something so boring." Raphael puts his hands up, showing that he's defenseless, even if you know that to be far from the case. "I have a proposition for you."

You shake your head. "I don't make deals with devils."

Raphael seems undeterred by your refusal, hands still up, palms facing you. "No, nothing so formal as a deal. There won't be any contracts or souls on the line. Consider it more of a... beneficial agreement. A one night soiree." The drawl of his voice pairs so well with the trickling of the water around you, the warmth and weight of it in perfect contrast with the cool river. "I won't say so much as a word to your companions. They won't even know I appeared before you tonight." He rolls his wrists in a practiced flourish, his hands now outstretched to you. "And I won't say a thing about the name that tumbled from your pretty mouth."

"You're blackmailing me?" A mixture of shock and the cold makes your disbelieving laugh come out in a harsh cough, "To what end? What do you you ask in return?"

"Oh, nothing too extravagant, I assure you." Raphael draws closer, close enough that you can feel the fiendish heat radiating from his body, a sinful reprieve in the chill of the night. The lantern's light cast yellow against his long lashes and reflects in the darkness of his eyes, as if a glimpse of the hellfire within him. "All I ask...is to take you."

"Where?" You say, attempting not to cower as he glides even closer, forcing you to crane your head up to maintain eye contact.

"Oh, little mouse." It's as if the luxurious rumble of his words are cast straight through your body. You can smell him now, sweet hints of cherry, yet the underlying heat of burn, of ash. "Surely you aren't so innocent, considering the display I just witnessed." He leans down close, grin never fading from those smug lips of his, his words as thick and sweet as honey, "Let me take you as a man takes a woman. Right here."

You're not sure what to say. What is there to say in such a situation? You look at him, his deep dark eyes and heavied lids and the hook of his nose that draws a long shadow across his high cheek. He knows that his looks are beguiling, and he knows that you're in no place to refuse.

"You truly are a devil." You breathe out just as his chest meets yours, his skin far too hot and warming yours immediately on contact.

He chuckles again, and this time you can feel it, the echo of it against your ribs. "I never claimed to be anything but."

It should come as no surprise that he's also nude in the dark waters, but it doesn't lessen the shock of his hard cock meeting your thigh. It's hot, impossibly so, and as he moves it between your thighs, all you can do is place a wet hand on his shoulder to ready yourself for it's intrusion.

"Not even going to put up a fight?" He mocks, ducking his head down so that his lips hover over yours. "I didn't take you to be so docile."

"Shut up and fuck me, if you're going to."

"Of course." Raphael arm dips into the river and a moment later you feel a hand on the back of your thigh, lifting your leg so that your knee comes up from under the water. You gasp at the cold that rushes between your legs and vulnerability of the position, and Raphael responds with a smirk. "As you wish."

Raphael's other hand disappears in the water in front of himself, and his cock drags against your thigh as he guides himself to your entrance. As soon as the maddening heat of his cock head touches the softness of your folds, he jerks his hips forward, the water caught between the two of you sloshing as he breaches you with no warning.

You yelp in suprise and pain, both hands scrambling against Raphael's bare shoulders as you almost lose your footing. Raphael lets out a sound of his own, a low, languid groan of satisfaction that warms your cheeks as he stutters his hips forward again, forcing another few inches into you.

"Ohhh, my pretty little mouse," He cups the back of your head with a surprising strength, forcing your eyes to meet his. "How tight you are..." The heat of his cock retreats before he thrusts back in to the same point, his top lip raising to show the perfect white of his neat teeth, "Is it the cold that makes you so? Or are you perhaps scared?"

He doesn't wait for an answer. the pleasure-snarl on his face intensifies as he sets into a brutal rhythm, his dark eyes commanding your attention all the while.

It hurts. The hungry pace he's set and the running water between you quickly carries away any of your natural lubricants and you can feel your walls clinging to him, not allowing much movement. Luckily, he doesn't seem interested in bottoming out in you-- Raphael seems more than pleased to stroke the first few inches of himself with your chafing passage.

The only relief you get is in the form of his warmth, but even that is becoming close to unbearable. With every decadent moan he shamelessly lets loose, his body seems to grow hotter, almost searing. Your vision blurs as fine steam rises from his body, beads of sweat dampening your hair and trailing down your forehead just from his proximity. The heat between your legs is nearly stinging--thank the gods for the cold of the water rushing past, elst you'd truly get burned.

The same can't be said for your abused cunt-- even if river water is pushed inside of you with his humping, the heat of his cock is like molten metal, the feeling only aggravated by the dry, clinging friction of his lubricantless fucking.

"R-Raphae-- ahh--!" You want to tell him to stop, to just give you a moment, anything, but your pain and pride won't let the words come out.

"Yes," He hisses, grabbing your hair and pulling your head back to expose your neck to him, "Cry my name out--" A particularly rough thrust has you biting back a shout of pain as he groans out in delight, "You love it, don't you? The feeling of my cock--"

You aren't sure if his words stem from the cruelty of devils or his lack of understanding of mortal bodies. Each stab of his prick into you stings like hellfire, his shallow impalements growing faster as his moans dip into deep rumbles, coming more and more frequently, shaking on each breath. You consider reaching a hand down to rub at your clit, desiring anything to get your mind off the throbbing pain inside of you, but his vicious movements don't allow your hands to leave his shoulders.

But just as you fear you're at your threshold of pain tolerance, he stills mercifully. A deep, throaty groan tears from him as he leans his head back and his eyes roll closed, a decadent display of his pleasured pinnacle. You can feel heat flood inside you, far hotter than possible from a man. Though it stings against your sensitive walls, it also provides enough slickness for his cock to finally slip out of you.

"Oh," Raphael releases your leg and only then opens his eyes, looking smugly at you with nary a hair out of place. "What a treat that was."

You can feel the heat from your insides seeping between your thighs before being swept away by the current. Judging by just how much your pussy aches, you'd guess that some of your blood is mixed with his seed. The relief from the onslaught is enough to have you light-headed and unsteady on your feet, a fact that Raphael seems to willfully ignore.

"I'd be happy to stay for some pillow talk, but unfortunately, duty calls." He flourishes his hand as he bows his head, dark eyes glittering in the gloom of the night, never leaving you. "But don't fret, little mouse. Baldur's Gate looms just ahead...I'm sure we'll be seeing each other very soon."

There's a pulse of magic, a sucking of air, a bright burst of swirling flame, and then a fade into darkness. All at once, you're alone once again.

You sink down into the water, letting the cold river act as a salve on your pained body and mind.

[stromuprisahat]

Leigh treated change and development as a testament of greed and lust in SoB trilogy. She didn't let Alina grow into her power or ditch relationships where her boundaries were not respected. Nor did she let her actually make a change from a political viewpoint. In SoC duology, neither the narrative or the characters shame Nina for addiction or dramatic, dark change of her powers. (Ik helnik is unrealistic, but let's forget that ship for a second.) Also, flaws of the relationships between characters were more acknowledged. Like, Jesper and Kaz's friendship and one-sided crush is messy and is treated as such. Jan Van Eck gets treated like the asshole he is. Colm obviously loves Jesper and vice versa, but they both majorly screwed up, realize it and apologise. (Jesper screwing up his life is a direct consequence of his father screwing up). Not to mention Kaz and Jordie, or even the way Kaz treats other Dregs (I mean minor characters like Anika, Imogen and Pim). I thought Leigh learned her lesson but then the disaster that is KoS duology happened so now I just don't know. I haven't read any of her works outside of Grishaverse, so Idk if she keeps okaying abusive relationships or what values she's pushing outside of that. Any thoughts?

I think Leigh might've taken the success of SoC as too literal instruction manual for her next books without realizing a single formula doesn't fit every story.

She tried to turn Ravkan Gang into Crows 2.0, including banter, even though they're supposed to be half a generation older leaders of a country, not teenage criminals. I won't even begin about the tragedy of errors she turned her new best girl character design into.

She also doesn't seem to be willing to admit that a good leader cannot remain morally pure or that a "good" person doesn't mean an all-loving fool. When working in the criminal underground, she allows her characters to get their Hands Dirty (See, what I did there? :D), but as someone incredibly naïve and uncomprehending matters of politics, she's trying to maintain the pedestal she decided to put her state leaders at.

The result is a frustrating, unrealistic mess.

You can take a heist story with a grain of salt, but political drama requires completely different level of believability.

[tadpolesonalgae]

Mer!azriel x reader: The Dregs of Tragedy - Part 3

A/N: Finished writing this and now I want to do another part to please… because soft touches make me melt

Warnings: mentions of torture

Word Count: 6,561

-Part 2- -Part 4-

——————————————————————————————————————————————

You don’t know how long you’d spent like that—just floating gently in his arms, allowing the water to soothe the ache of your bones.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, the sea lapping at the lip of the cave, his tail occasionally brushing your legs, as if checking your pulse, monitoring small changes as they occur. Like the narrow slits forming along your ribs, gills beginning to push from your skin.

Scarified hands graze your sides, skin fluttering with tiny muscles reacting to the stimuli. Air bubbles in your lungs, and you cough suddenly, throat constricting. Your fingers raise to your neck, spluttering as the muscle spasms with the new airways opening, not entirely sure how to process the evolution.

“Close your mouth,” he instructs, palm splaying across your back, keeping you steady and the gills unblocked. “Don’t breathe through your nose. Try to open the airways.” You do as he says, features scrunching as tears prick the the edge of your lashes. You follow his directions, but struggle upon feeling the burning need for breath, instinctively parting you lips.

Azriel shifts, raising his hand to place it over your mouth, fingers parted enough to let air through if you try, but not enough to properly survive on. Still, some problems arise. The tubes are sensitive and tingling with awareness, making you squirm at the odd sensation. Your nose scrunches with concentration, managing a few shuddering breaths before reverting to your preferred option.

“I’m going to take you under,” he says, hand still blocking your mouth and nose. Your eyes pop open, gleaming from the tingling sensation as you peer up at him, trying to shake your head. “It’ll help,” he says quietly, “just focus on your gills.” Your brows pull together as you try to convey the mix of doubt and fear, concern shimmering in steadily darkening eyes.

But the sea level rises as he brings you below the surface, water raising your hair from your shoulders, swaying freely, tickling your cheeks. Lids automatically slide shut, blocking out the sea salt, lips sealing shut as water presses in, and then you’re entirely cut off. His hand pulls away from your mouth, instead dragging his fingers firmly around the soft, split skin, encouraging them to dilate like his. After a few rotations they stutter to life, parting to allow water inside, capillaries picking out the oxygen that’s dissolved in the sea.

Breath eases through your body, filtering in and out as you adapt to the strange sensation. The odd tingle of sensitivity, awareness tightening and prickling at your skin, suddenly taking on waves of new information—the temperature, the weight, the direction of the weak current. Your nose remains scrunched as you concentrate on breathing, taking it slow until it’s less foreign. Until it begins to feel natural, and fade into the background mechanics of your body.

Rough skin gently thumbs across your lids, and a strange prickling sensation takes over behind your eyes, a new filmy layer manifesting, allowing you to peer beneath the briny sea water. Slowly, your eyes open, cracking apart, testing out the new development. Blinding light filters in, and you immediately squeeze them shut again, kicking your legs to tell him to go up. Dutifully, Azriel swims to the surface, and you splutter, body confused with the switch in airways.

You take a minute to shift back to manual breathing, inhaling deeply while he holds you patiently. Lungs ache a little from conscious use, but the ticklish sensation has dulled in your ribs, as if gills have always been set in your skin. Your throat rolls as you swallow, blinking heavily to get the film to retract.

“What else is going to happen?” You manage to ask, pushing strands of hair from your face. “Your legs will seal together to form a tail. That will likely be the most difficult part,” he rasps in answer, hands still splayed across your waist. Eyes flick to charcoal black, nerves wriggling in your stomach. “You said it would have been easier at the quarters in the moon’s cycle,” you recall, peering at him. “Why is that?”

“I told you the new moon is when we’re at our weakest,” —you nod— “and the full moon is when we’re at our strongest,” —nod again— “so the stages between those are when a transition would be most painless. When the time between a new moon and a full moon are equidistant.”

“How painful will it be?” You ask quietly, still feeling the faintest throb pulsing within your ankles and knees. The mer is quiet for a spell, the only sounds in the large cave the swishing of water against the rock’s edge. “It will likely last a night,” he says at last. “The more disproportioned the gaps are in the moon’s cycle, the longer it will take.” Dread ices across your skin, cold fingertips pressing into his warm skin. “A night?” You repeat breathlessly. “Six— Eight hours?” The words tremble from your mouth.

Azriel’s lips press together before he answers, but the expression alone has tension tightening in your belly. “Most likely ten,” he says softly, “until the sunrises.”

“Until the sun rises,” you echo absently, staring into onyx eyes. “You couldn’t have timed it better?” You ask quietly, but your tone is sharp. His gaze narrows, and you’re briefly reminded of the shredding teeth in his soft mouth. “There wasn’t time to waste. I needed to take you then or you would have been taken back to your town, and would’ve had worse to deal with than this.”

Your brow narrows, but you don’t deny what he’s claimed. “Anyone would take rain over thunder,” you mutter instead. He raises a brow, peering at you with those large onyx eyes of his. “Anyone?” The edges of your mouth twist down into a scowl.

“It’s an expression. Rain makes a deck slippery but at least there’s little chance of being thrown over board and left to your kind.” The pads of his fingers press a little firmer into your skin, such a slight difference in pressure you wonder if he’s even aware of it. “Our kind,” he corrects, equally softly. “And we don’t sink to torture when it comes to humans.”

“So you give them air and return them to shore?” You ask pointedly, aware of how the acoustics of the cave make your voice swell. “Such a pretty diversion,” he murmurs, large, dark eyes glinting. “We kill them once they enter our territory. We torment the ones wearing our scales.”

Something sharp glitters in his charcoal gaze, and a shiver trembles its way down your spine. “We turn to the sea because it’s our only source of food. We would starve if we didn’t go into your territory,” you say quietly, “is it really so difficult to let us survive?”

“Humans chose to settle there. They knew well that we inhabited these waters but thought they could purge us,” he returns, tail brushing against your aching legs. “We weren’t the ones to start the perpetual cycle of violence, it was the humans who did so.”

“Of course a mer would say that,” you shoot back, watching him warily.

He blinks carefully, allowing the transparent film to slide across his black eyes, as if knowing how it makes your insides squirm. Slowly, he drags you closer, grip like iron as the lithe muscle of his abdomen and tail comes to press to the soft curve of your stomach. “I was fully grown while your town was a simple gathering of huts,” he rasps lowly, features remaining neutral, if a little amused. “Forgive me if I take my own memories over the distorted tales of humans.”

Lips part in a surprised exhale, shoulders subconsciously curving inward to keep your breasts from brushing his powerful torso. “You—…you were alive back then?” But you shake your head, “the town was built by my ancestor’s ancestors—generations ago. You can’t possibly have been alive so long back…” But the doubt is clear in your voice, despite trying to argue against him.

Azriel releases you gently, and you tense in surprise as he swims away, dipping beneath the surface then reappearing a little way from you. Muscle tenses before clicking into habit, recalling the lessons on how to tread water. Pressing your fingertips together as you slowly but firmly rotate your limbs to keep afloat. The corners of his mouth are quirked upward, grinning faintly as you struggle in his home terrain. “Generations of humans amounts to no more than two centuries, at most. They live such short lives, and often rush into choices that end them up in heaps of trouble,” he says, circling you leisurely, powerful tail swishing as he’s idly propelled through the sea. “For instance, this conflict between our kinds. It’s one they won’t win.”

“You’re acting as if you’ve never lost one of your own to us,” you reply quietly. “I’ve seen the mer they capture, what they do to them. We might sustain losses, but you do to.” His expression darkens—something in the blackness of his eyes—despite the edges of his mouth remaining soft. “Is that something you’re proud of?” He asks quietly, water lapping at the rock as he completes a rotation of the pool, pausing in his place.

“Proud of what,” you question, the aches becoming more prominent at the base of your spine. He swims a little closer, and you subconsciously push back in the water, drifting away. “Proud of humanities’ brutality. Proud of their barbed hooks and burning fire. Proud of the scales they pry from our tails,” he rasps, moving forward with every spot of distance you try to put between you. “I—… I’m not proud of it,” you manage, a little intimidated by the unwavering confidence rolling off him as he encroaches further. “I just meant that we aren’t weak. And the sailors wouldn’t hate the mer if you didn’t eat their shipmates.”

He swims closer, and you flinch as the hewn rock presses into your spine, littered with tiny, jagged shells. You swallow as he gently cages you in, pinning you to the rock’s edge with his lower torso, long tail swishing idly far below. “Do you know how painful it is?” He rasps lowly. “To have them peeled back from your skin? Slowly, one by one?” Your pulse begins to spike, hands reluctantly pressing on his shoulders to keep yourself afloat.

“I don’t…I didn’t know they did that…” you say quietly, trying not to squirm with the sharp edges of the barnacles prickling your back. The corners of his mouth soften further, and he appears to be smiling faintly. “What was his name? Alaric?” He rasps soothingly, your skin prickling with warning at the calm mask he’s wearing so effortlessly. “He wore them too, our scales. Did you never notice? Or were you simply ignoring them to keep yourself happy?”

Your brow furrows, trying to shift out from between him and the rock, but the shells feel like they’ll tear with the slightest movement. “I’ve never seen him wear…” Your brow furrows, remembering the necklace he kept tucked beneath his shirt. Nausea roils in the pit of your stomach, remembering how they would drag over your chest whenever he was on top, grunting with hot, fishy breath. “I thought they were shark teeth,” you manage, quietly grimacing.

One hand finds your hip, keeping you pressed to the rock while his other twines with your own, pulling it from his shoulder. “They only keep one, but they pry them from our tails by the thousands,” he rasps softly, raising your fingers to his mouth. “Can you imagine that? Having them peeled” —soft lips brush the pads of your digits— “from your flesh?” He asks. Teeth slip beneath the ridge of your nail, applying pressure as if to pull it back, a small, tearing pain tingling along the padded bone.

You wince, trying to pull away, but he tugs on your nail harshly, making you cry out. “Azriel… That hurts. Stop it,” you order quietly. He does as you ask, but not before nipping at the tip of your finger, delivering a tiny bite to wrinkled skin. “Your husband wouldn’t have stopped there,” he rasps, releasing your hand but keeping you pinned to the rock. “He would have gone slower,” he says, dipping his head, until your noses almost touch, the damp, inky locks of his hair brushing your brow. “He would have taken pleasure in the blood rising. Would have—”

“Stop it,” you whisper, feeling sick.

Azriel pauses, but doesn’t retreat. You swallow harshly. “I’m sorry,” you whisper shakily, “I didn’t know. About the…” He hums absently, as if the thought doesn’t bother him, regarding the subject with vague disinterest. “And now you do,” he says. “So, mer, do you still wish to return to your fishing town? I’m sure your husband would be delighted to get his hands on you.” He pauses, eyes pinning you to the rock, mouth quirked in a faint smile. “Again.”

Your hand snaps from the water faster than you can think, compromising your position, your back dragging down along the jagged rock as you’re poised to strike—

He raises a single brow, watching you intently. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, “it would do you some good to learn how to hit back.” Your lips press together, hand shaking lightly as you’re locked in his stare. He watches you intently, as if daring you to strike him. But you swallow, and lower your hand.

“You’re right,” you admit quietly, reluctantly. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be so blunt about it. You don’t know anything about me, so don’t go prodding at old wounds to test their depth. It’s cruel.” He hums, a faint smile on his soft mouth, peering down at you with amusement in his dark onyx eyes. “And you don’t know anything about me, so don’t presume to know better,” he rasps, the ghost of breath bushing over your lips. “Believe me when I tell you we aren’t as barbaric as you’re lead to believe, nor as vicious or cruel.” His lips quirk into a faint grin, dark humour gleaming in his charcoal gaze. “At least, others aren’t.”

Muscle stiffens at the veiled threat, and discomfort writhes beneath your bones. You stare up into his eyes, conflicted between his opposites. On one hand he’s been gentle, patiently answering the questions you have, yet he’s firmly protective over his kind’s portrayal. The tip of your finger still stings lightly, back numb from the prickling press of barnacles, knees aching with more pronounced pain. “You recognised his voice,” you say slowly, watching him intently. “Back on the pier. You recognised my husband’s voice.”

His ears twitch, but his expression remains carefully neutral. “What makes you think that?” He asks, tail swishing against your feet. Your brow narrows as you peer at him, confused. “Are you denying it?” You ask quietly. “That you knew him?” Azriel’s silent, beats counting down as you scan his features for any sign or hint. But then he’s pulling away, and you wince as your back unsticks from the rock wall.

“That’s not a conversation for now,” he rasps, bringing you back out into the pool. Your brow furrows, “why not? He’s my husband.” Azriel looks at you steadily, unknown thoughts passing through his head. “And how would your husband react knowing his little wife was freely bare in a mer’s arms?” Wild heat swells up your spine, cheeks warming as embarrassment sears your blood. “You’re making it out to be something it isn’t,” you snap quietly, gaze dipping away from his, skin tightening with awareness.

Azriel’s lips quirk slightly, palm splaying up your spine, bringing you closer. “I doubt your husband would know any better,” he rasps, and you get the distinct impression he’s trying to find some buttons to push. “I’m his wife. I wouldn’t just run off with another…man…” Your brow tightens, unfamiliar with what to call him.

“So you want to return to him?” He asks leisurely, the pads of his fingers gently running along the slits of your gills, making the tubes spasm lightly, a tremor running down your spine as hundreds of tiny muscles flutter beneath his touch. “I’m—… That’s not the point I’m making,” you argue quietly.

He raises a brow tauntingly, and a scowl tips the edges of your mouth. You sigh harshly, tearing your gaze from his briefly. “Things may be unfavourable between us, but he is still my husband. Even if I…” You swallow, deciding against that part. Return your eyes to his. “I don’t appreciate you questioning my virtue. I will remain faithful for as long as he is my husband. That is what I agreed to when we were married, and that is how it shall remain. Don’t make something so sacred the topic of your twisted humour.”

“You truly believe if he were put in a room full of women with a promise nothing would escape to the outer world, he wouldn’t bed them in a second?” Azriel asks, amusement tilting his expression. “I do,” you reply firmly. There isn’t a doubt in your mind. He might have been an awful husband to you, but he’s pious and god-fearing, like any sane mortal is. You know with absolute certainty he would never be unfaithful to you.

“Even now?” Azriel asks, lips quirking with mirth. “Your sacred words are until death us do part, aren’t they?” Your brow narrows, but you nod, those are the words you had sworn to one another. “Then I believe the sailors on the pier will be able to attest to your passing,” he rasps lowly, “with the tales spread about our kind, being pulled into the water by me was as good as a death sentence.”

You swallow heavily, disliking him for the observation. “Maybe on his end,” you say quietly, “but I know I’m still alive—still living; still breathing—so I will remain as I was before you—” You cut yourself off, remembering the icy bite of the water. Of the cave he’d abandoned you in. Left for dead.

“You died,” he points out gently. “You drowned in those caves, therefore you no longer owe him anything.” You blink, muscles slackening at his sound argument. But you shake your head, “that doesn’t count. I know I’m alive, and—”

“Until death us do part means until death claims one of you, doesn’t it?” He asks.

“Yes, but—”

“No buts. You died. There is nothing keeping you to that town now, so don’t think of returning,” he rasps softly. “They’ll burn you alive for being turned into a monster,” he says quietly, humour gleaming in his onyx eyes—you don’t understand how he can make light of it.

A bit of despair begins to sink in, the reality of the situation dawning at the back of your brain. “I want to be alone for a bit,” you say, feeling the growing gloom beginning to ice your skin. “Please leave.”

He shakes his head, “and leave you alone while you’re changing?”

“I’ll manage somehow,” you reply evenly, closing yourself off. “So kindly leave me alone. You can come back if you’d like—” You stumble, having no concept of the time. How long has it been since he took you into the waters?

“It’s been three days. Your body needed to rest,” he says smoothly, making your skin crawl. The question still bubbles beneath your skin, but you refuse to ask it. “It’s sunset,” he answers quietly, lips softening at the edges, noting your wariness. You swallow down your despair at how much time has already passed. You don’t know why. It’s not as if you can do anything. “Then you can come back at daybreak,” you reply hoarsely, “for now I want my peace.”

He watches you silently, tail brushing your legs lightly with each swish. Then he sighs, floating back from where you bob in the pool. “You’re being foolish,” he warns as he prepares leave. “You’ll want me to be there when the aches start.”

“It’s happening tonight?” You croak, dread cementing itself in your stomach. He nods his head, dark, damp ringlets flicking with the movement.

Energy steadily drains from your body, overcome with the urge to rest. Perhaps you’ll simply be able to sleep through the night and bypass it entirely.

You turn in the pool, making your way to the lip, before hauling yourself up, water cascading down bare skin, scraping over jagged rocks. When you settle atop the padded floor, you find he’s already at the edge again, watching silently. “What do you want?” You ask softly, reaching for the cloth that had held your hair, hoping to at least get it out of the way for a bit.

Azriel is silent, observing as you put your hair away beneath the cloth. You shift uncomfortably, unaccustomed to being so completely bare before anyone other than your…than Alaric.

Finally he pushes off from the pool’s lip, floating out into the vastness of the lagoon. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” he rasps, but you don’t have the energy to protest. “If you start feeling the urge to get in the water, don’t. You need to remain on land until your body is fully prepared to change, otherwise you’ll injure yourself.”

“What do you care?” You ask quietly, wishing it had come out with a little more bite—instead it sounds desperate. His arms fold over the edge, tail swaying restlessly. “That’s something we’ll talk about later, too,” he rasps softly, making you shift on the padded bed, droplets of water still trickling over bare skin. “For now I need you to understand you are not to go into the water under any circumstances. Not until I return. If you can agree to that, you can have your peace.”

You peer at him wearily, wanting nothing more than to lie flat on the bedspread and give yourself over to mindless sleep. “How many hours?” You ask quietly, and his lips soften at the edges, amusement gleaming. “Two,” he rasps, and again you get the distinct impression he’s intentionally chosen a short time span. “Give me five,” you counter quietly. At least with five you’re more likely to be able to settle into some form of unconsciousness.

Azriel shakes his head, smiling faintly. “You won’t last five on your own,” he reasons, apprehension crawling along your bones. Does he have to be so ominous? “Then give me four,” you say, trying to angle as much of your naked body away from him as possible. Again he shakes his head, tail swishing in a way you feel displays his entertainment. “Three,” you say through gritted teeth, on the verge of scowling at him. The bed is practically pulling you down.

“Alright,” he says, relenting. “You have three hours to yourself. Don’t do anything foolish.” You can see him practically singing for you to ask what counts as foolish, but you’re simply too tired. “Okay,” you reply, relieved to finally settle down into the soft padding of the bed. “Three hours,” you murmur, eyes locking as you lay on your side, arms half-heartedly positioned to hide your breasts.

His expression is gentle but unreadable—or maybe it’s just sideways. Either way, you wish he’d leave. The emotion is already creeping up your throat, and can feel the faintest tremor in your lower lip. He stays for a moment longer, before nodding slightly, then pushing off into the water, swimming out to the centre of the pool. You watch through heavy eyes as his lithe form turns back to face you, pausing before taking the dive into the lovely warm water.

“We may not yet be fully intimate with one another,” he rasps softly, the familiar drag of his words washing over you like deadly song. “But I wouldn’t wish you pain.”

The admission registers somewhere in the back of your mind, but before you have the chance to take it out to examine, he’s disappearing in a swirl of inky black and iridescent blues, leaving you alone in the cave.

Allowing the numbness to take root, yielding to the rush of emotion, allowing the tears to freely drip out.

Softly saturating into the sheets.

————

Aches blossom across your skin, blooming in your bones as if being ground against rock. Arms are heavy, as if weighed down by stones, joints clicking stiffly as you try to roll over, a low groan dragging from cracked lips.

Your forehead gleams, an unnatural heat swelling beneath the skin of your cheeks, having to crack your lids open—strangely weighty. The padded bedspread around you has darkened, but that must be from the sea-drops that had been rolling from your body once you’d—

Water.

Your tongue swipes stiffly over your lips, having to unstick it from the roof of your mouth, feeling like lead. It’s difficult to swallow, like your throat has swollen up—absolutely parched. Breath is hauled down into your lungs, airways rasping as your gills flutter at your ribs, tingling with sensitivity, and your legs. Sweat beads, perspiration rolling down your temples into the cloth around your hair. It would all be solved if you just shifted over, then you could splash into the lulling waves of the sea, allow it to soothe the aching heat that’s boiling you alive.

Breath rattles in your chest, the bones in your legs filled with grinding rock, knees and ankles lit up with pain, as if you’d sprained them. Everything hurts, worse than anything your husband ever put you through. Another strained groan breaks free from your raw and tender throat, a series of coughs hacking dryly from your lungs, spasming with the effort.

Eyes traitorously flick to the luminescent glow of pale blue sea, calling to you, urging you to give yourself over, as if having sewn a scarf’s worth of stitches through your limbs, threaded through sinew and cartilage to drag you along the smooth floor. Lids flutter, torn between longingly staring at the soothing sea, and shutting to yield yourself to blissful sleep. Quiet pants rasp from your lips, spine arching as a lacerating pricking feeling spikes low on your back, like someone’s pressing a blade to your skin, arching to escape it.

A cool hand wraps around your wrist, and a sigh of relief breathes heavily from your chest, relaxing back into the padding.

“Can you hear me?” A low, faint voice rasps, echoing through the foggy chambers of your mind. The hand squeezes lightly, then turns your arm over, exposing the pulse to the relieving drag of his thumb. Skin faintly registers how the touch grazes further up, reaching your shoulder to grip tight. A strained noise grates on your vocal cords as water splashes, then something cool is pressing to your forehead.

“I need you to move,” the voice rasps again, and you gather together enough energy to crack open your eyes. Dark, glittering onyx stares back at you, much larger than human eyes shoulder ever be, but evolved to handle the darkness of the murky sea. “Did you hear me?” He rasps. “You need to move. Your bones need to be set.”

You groan again, from deep in your chest, before wearily forcing yourself to move. You know in your bones it won’t get better unless you listen to him—sometimes you have to move through pain before it’s banished. Breathe heavily, getting yourself into a sitting position, able to meet the eyes of the mer floating at the edge of the pool. His head dips in a nod, before gesturing gently with his arms. “Bring your legs over here, into the water,” he instructs.

“What’s happening?” You croak out, dragging your legs until they’re at the lip of the lagoon. The skin of your ankle catches on the jagged rock, nicking at your flesh, sea salt stinging as he helps lower your calves into the water. Gentle hands easing the stiff movements of your joints. A pained sound of relief spills softly from your lips, like a quiet moan, and the edges of his mouth soften as he looks up at you.

“Does that feel better?” He asks, and you manage to nod your head in confirmation. His hand rests atop your knee while reaching for something, the heat of your body soothed by the cool balm of the ocean, the reassuring weight of his palm. Enough awareness returns to your mind to fully peek your eyes open, formulating thoughts. “Yes…” you rasp weakly, back hunched, too out of it to be concerned about your nakedness.

“Keep your legs together,” he says softly, “they need to be bound to help the bones set in place. It will ease the pain if you don’t have to keep them pressed together on your own.” You manage to nod your head, shoulders sloping with the weight on them. “I feel like I’m burning,” you rasp rawly, throat parched.

“It’ll pass,” he answers, and you watch as he begins wrapping something dark around your ankles, slowly but loosely binding them together, working his way up your shins, reaching your knees.

“How much longer?” You rasp out, sweat sliding down your spine. Rough, scarified fingers flex around the bandages, before his eyes raise to meet yours. “You were asleep for half an hour,” he says quietly. Your stomach practically sinks to your toes, heart beating in your mouth, pulsing hot on your tongue. “Half an hour?” You rasp, voice breaking at the end, despair prominent in the set of your parted lips. “Not even…” heavy breaths puff from your chest, heaving as another set of coughs wrack your lungs.

You shake your head, meeting his gently gleaming eyes. “I can’t do this,” you say weakly, “I can’t do this.” Azriel is silent, hands resting atop your knees, tail swishing far below in the lagoon. “You don’t have a choice,” he says softly. “It won’t kill you, and there’s no way to ease it. You just have to wait it out.”

“Easy for you to say,” you breathe, “you’re not the one whose skin feels like it’s on fire.” You pause, mind spinning with the intense heat bubbling away.

“Maybe you do,” you mumble, spiralling off the road as the words begin thoughtlessly dripping from your tongue. “How did you get these?” You ask, the pads of your fingers brushing over the blue-tinted skin of his knuckles, tracing the rough lines of warped flesh, deformed and swollen in places.

His fingers stiffen on your bound knees, your attention settling to the scarred skin of his hands. You’ve seen the fires lit beneath the mer, so they cook slowly, steeped in discarded fish guts as the birds come to feed on the boiled flesh.

Digits link with his own, greedily taking in the coolness of his skin compared with the hellish heat in yours. You squeeze him, as if able to take in his temperature and exchange it with your own, wanting to press his palms to your skin to relieve the burning. Dry lips part in a scratchy exhale, swept away in the thought of the cool reprieve he would bring.

“Ask another question,” he manages to rasp, voice strained.

“Will you touch me?” You don’t even hesitate.

His hands stiffen, and you have just enough sanity to make a clarification. “Normally,” you say, “like you are now, but more.” You can hear the desperation in your voice, but the need’s too great to be ashamed. Your skin is practically on fire with heat, flashes of sweat beading on your back, skin gleaming in the luminescent light.

His throat rolls heavily, then his lips press together in a soft line. “Alright,” he answers quietly, and you could melt with relief. You don’t wait for him to move on his own, instead holding his wrists and guiding them to your face, hands cupping your jaw and cheeks, calming the intense heat. A sigh spills from your chest, pressing his hands closer, as if it will help the temperature recede if he’s nearer. You quietly moan, though it ends more like a sob, groaning from the intense relief, unable to grasp the inappropriate nature of how vocal you’re being.

Azriel watches silently, powerful tail swishing steadily, keeping his hands pressed flush to your skin—that’s indeed hot to the touch. Dark, onyx eyes track your movement as you incline your chin, inadvertently displaying the smooth length of your throat as you crane your head back. He’s entirely still as you bring his hands lower, not quite encompassing your throat, but moving to wrap over the junction of your shoulders to your neck, his fingers spanning across the top of your back. He can feel the pronounced beat of your pulse, elevated from the changing.

You sigh again, sweet relief cooling the patches of skin he’s allowing you to press his hands to. Your palms settle over the backs of his, soaking in the lower temperature like its a medicine. “How much longer is this going to last?” You manage to ask, meeting his deep gaze, painful aches still blossoming up your legs, reaching your lower abdomen. “At least seven more hours,” he rasps quietly, fingers splaying over your skin of their own volition, putting soothing patterns over the top of your back.

“Seven more hours,” you repeat, staring at him. You blink a few times before shaking your head, shoulders sloping. “I really hate you right now,” you murmur, feeling another ticklish bead of sweat roll down your spine. There must be a small puddle beneath you by this point, perspiration coating your body like a hot, skin-tight cloak. Damp and sticky and easily resolved by just a short dip in the—

“Easy,” he warns, one hand leaving your shoulder to press on your knee, firmly keeping you in place as you try to squirm forward. “It’ll only make it worse if you go in now,” he reminds, a note of reprimand in his lovely, deep voice. You groan with frustration, toes curling in the cold water. You can imagine how the sea would sizzle if you dipped in.

“Why is it okay for my legs to be in but not the rest of me?” You snap quietly, longing for the ocean. “They shouldn’t, but the burning shouldn’t have started this early either,” he answers. He doesn’t mention it could mean it will pass swiftly, not wanting to get your hopes up. You shift on the ledge, moving your feet a little too jerkily, sending water splashing up onto the sides of your knees. Azriel’s eyes narrow on you, but you couldn’t care less, senses zeroing in on the cool droplets evaporating on your flesh.

“What do you mean the burning shouldn’t have started this early?” You croak, too weighed with fatigue to manage anything other than reluctant acceptance. He shakes his head. “The process usually builds over a few hours, stays at a peak for two, then dips back down,” he answers quietly, thumb swiping over the bone of your knee before returning to splay over your shoulder. “After that, you would be able to get in the water to help your body familiarise itself.”

“I want to go in now,” you rasp, turning your head away as you cough, throat itching. “I know,” he replies softly, but makes no move to help you in. You sigh, head hanging as your shoulders slope. “I should have just left you,” you mumble to yourself, caught up in the haze of sickness. Shake your head, bringing your hands to your face, a breath shuddering from your lips as you try to push the emotion away. Getting caught up in feeling won’t do you any good, so instead you exhale heavily.

“How long had you been there, anyway?” You rasp, bringing your eyes to the walled-off gaze of the mer’s. Your brow dips, “Azriel?”

He blinks, features blank, different from how they’d been a few seconds ago. “Four days,” he says shortly, tone clipped. Your eyes weight shut, blocking out the light of the pool. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean it. About leaving you. Not really…” You peek your eyes open enough to catch his nod, but you don’t feel forgiven.

You swallow heavily, wanting to switch subjects. “Alaric seemed to know you were there,” you say quietly, hands pressing to your thighs, nails digging in lightly.

“You really want to talk about your husband right now?” He asks.

“I thought you said our bonds were broken,” you counter scratchily, throat sandpapery. “Does it matter what I say?” He asks, watching you intently.

Lips purse, pressing together as you look down at him. The edges of his mouth quirk, a faint smile softening the corners. “Does it?” He repeats, raising a single brow. You swallow, “in that case it does.”

“And why in that case?” You look down, eyes skating over your bound ankles, his arms raised to cool your skin, your hands curling in your lap. Your tongue flicks over your lips, gaze latching to his. “I suppose you were right.”

His mouth shifts into a taunting grin, displaying the neat rows of tiny, flesh-shredding teeth.

Your brows furrow in a scowl. “Stop smiling,” you mutter, skin prickling as minute changes occur in your body. You wince, teeth gritting together as a sharp, splintering pain lances up your spine. “I think I need to lie down,” you choke out, pain making your vision dizzy as your features scrunch with hurt. His grin vanishes almost instantly, settling back into that soft, calming set, “okay.”

Slowly, one limb at a time, with a lot of unwanted help from Azriel, you manage to lift yourself away from the lulling wash of the ocean. Lay down heavily, already lamenting the loss of his cool hands over your sizzling skin, sweat dripping from your back into the padding of the bedspread. Saturating it enough you manage to force yourself onto your front, using the thin sheets and stuffs of pillows to find a relatively pain-free position.

“How long has it been?” You ask weakly, lids weighing heavy as you try to keep them open to distract yourself from the lacerating pain up your spine, lancing through your hips and knees. “About an hour since you woke up,” he replies, and you want to sink further into the mattress. Six more hours of this… Heat prickles behind your eyes, but you keep it at bay. It won’t do you any good.

Your eyes slide shut, too heavy for you to keep the weight at bay any longer. Your skin is practically sizzling, sweat pooling beneath you, dripping between your breasts, rolling down your stomach as you breathe deeply. Head resting in the pillow, tipped to the side, your eyes squeeze shut as if it will help to block out the aches.

Cool fingers link with your own, and you manage to blearily peek open long enough to see he’s propped his arms over the edge again, digits laced with your outstretched hand.

He says nothing, and you don’t have the energy to question it. Simply drifting off out to sea, lulled back to sleep by some strange pull.

Gently lured to a kinder state of rest.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

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[crimsonretainer]

His is one of the first faces she seeks.

There is no doubt in her mind that it needs to be. Despite the abundance of calls and words to be exchanged, she makes her way where it is needed first. Widened eyes and opened lips invite concern to settle upon Edelgard's face as she approaches. It's displeasing how worn down he appears as she stands tall near the form of her retainer. "Hubert," she says. "Did something happen? What did you uncover? Tell me at once."

Whatever the case, she doesn't doubt it must have been something mighty. She looks him in the eyes, strong as ever.

As the bottom of her axe brushes the ground, her fingers trace its side. "There are people among this crowd with indiscernible intentions. I trust you've been diligent, but.. Remain cautious." As the whisper falls from her mouth, she quickly fixes herself proper. "If you need anything, you must only speak it."

HE THINKS AND THINKS OF HOW TO BROACH THE SUBJECT, to speak a name and a fact unto the world that he knows to be buried in her past. It's a vicious loop of memory now, a younger him running through the wilds outside Enbarr, following the road to Fearghus despite the relentless pursuit of his father's hounds. The first life taken with dregs of fledgling magic in his grasp. He remembers the girl returning with ashen white hair at their hands, the anger and the rage that consumed the room in a sea of flame he could barely contain. She had been barely older than Fourteen when the plans had been hatched, knifes driven into the heart of every church with Garreg Mach as it's shining jewel of crested corruption. He's seen it all in Enbarr, how nobles use their children before casting them aside, a father's mistreatment merely because his daughter was destined to be more than a trophy wife and the effects that lasted to the day. A songstress looked down upon merely due to the class she had no choice to be born in. A father so intent on his son being a weapon that he trained day and night until magic is more potent than the sharpest sword.

Still, his eyes give everything away, which is all too telling when that singular cursed name is leaving his mouth. "Cornelia." A sigh, filled with anger and hatred for the last piece of the puzzle that has finally slipped into place. "The last piece of the puzzle is Cornelia... Fearghus's court mage, Their trump card." Eight pieces that have finally clicked into place, Aegir, Gerth, Bergliez, Hevring, Varley, Vestra, Arundal and Cornelia. Names and targets each and every one, all responsible for the tragedy that had befallen her family and their great nation.

"The board is now set, Your Highness." Words like thunder and visage masked with anger, a guise long held pulled back like the curtain of a stage.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monster hunt: I Bear Thee Unto Glory 

A shambling horse shape composed of battlefield pickings, this demon is a manifestation of slaughter, phyrric victory, and the folly of war. Unto Glory ever seeks more opportunities to spread violence and more fools to lead to their doom, sustaining itself off chaos and fear in between wars where it has the opportunity to gorge. Often seen bearing a rider, the thing which sits astride Unto Glory is more often than not an extension of its being, the worn down wreck of a former victim held aloft like a trophy, holding limply to the reigns and serving only as a distraction in combat. Occasionally it will seek out a new rider to drain dry, favouring those haunted by the toll of war or those who seek violence in the excess of reason. 

One of these would be riders was the Compt Duvialt, a would be warmonger who looked greedily upon the lands of his neighbours and heard rumour that any who manage to rein the demon horse would be undefeated in combat. Mustering allies, mercenaries, and a coven of dark mages to his service, the Compt had the beast summoned through blasphamous ritual only to be thrown from the saddle the night the battle was joined. Free of any bonds, the tarnished steed has roamed the lands since, sowing the seeds of conflict the party will inevitably find themselves caught up in. 

Adventure Hooks

The party’s first blush with Unto Glory’s influence comes when they stumble across a village terrorized by a series of violent incidents. Apparently some weeks ago a ragged wanderer came into the tavern clutching a rusty sword and looking like he was barely holding on to life. He muttered something about seeing a horse before lashing out at the stunned onlookers, slaying two before several brave bystanders managed to put him down. A tragedy to be sure, but folk thought not much of it until the smith’s apprentice, who’d been sold the sword as scrap, started screaming about the sound of hooves and hacking at his teacher until the traumatized tradeswoman caved in his skull with a hammer. Now the sword sits locked behind the smithy doors and the people await a priest they’ve called to DO something about it. Do the party pretend they’re the ones that were sent? Wait for the authorities to arrive? Or lay their hands on an obviously cursed object because it might be valuable?

Any who frequent the tourney circuit could tell you of Lady Ruin, the daughter and heir of Duke Marsette who dominates the jousting lists wearing rusted armour to dishonour the showy expenditure of her rivals. What they couldn’t tell you is that Lady Endellise, despite being raised for years to be an exemplary rider and cavalry commander is infact terrified of death and violence, after nearly being killed in a pitch battle during an attempt by one of her family’s rivals to oust them from their seat. Expected to prove her worthiness as heir by continuing to perform martial pursuits, fearful Endellise unwittingly made a pact with the spectral horse that haunted her since they pulled her from the battlefield, earning for her trouble a dross-fit cuirass that eliminates all her fears when worn. Dreading  dishonour and increasingly addicted to the rush she gets when wearing the armour, Endellise risks losing herself to Unto Glory’s influence, becoming increasingly bloodthirsty every time she dons the cuirass

Foiled in war and stripped of many of his lands and titles, the now bitter Baron Duvilat convalesces in a small estate obsessing over riding unto glory once again, spending the dregs of his fortune supporting a few men at arms and paying for any information that might lead him closer to his errant steed, which the party may now possess. Somewhere down the years a few wires were crossed and the baron now also finds himself a fence for of a rotating crews of horse thieves, which the party will ALSO have to trifle with at some point during their hunt.

Further adventures:

Few know of the Duvilat’s dealings with the demonic, as the widespread rumor is that for the sake of his own machisnmo he chose to break a stallion on the eve of declaring war as a symbolic breaking of his enemy… earning a defeat and a broken back in the process.  Thinking that he will never mount unto Glory until he can walk again, the baron has had no luck in finding a healer to restore the use of his legs. As getting back into the saddle seems more and more likely, the baron will result to more and more desperate measures, perhaps kidnapping a healer familiar to the party or paying them to seek out the coven he once employed.  

Though corroded and thoroughly cursed, the metal that makes up Unto Glory’s hide has the ability to confer any bearer with the battle frenzy of dying warriors, making the demon a walking arsenal for those desperate enough to deal with it. Worse yet, the flakes and splinters of the rusting metal carry the very same curse, infecting victims with bloodlust if they survive the wound.  Should the Compt, Lady Endellise, or anyone else manage to ride the beast, they’ll find themselves the figurehead of a force that would see kingdoms laid to waste and possessed of a power to make for themselves an army of fearless berserkers.

[double-lariat]

Hello! I just wanted to say, that I don't think I'm as well read in shoujo/yuri as you seem to be. Ever since RGU changed my life ~2 years ago, I've been trying to fix that! If it's not too much trouble, I'd love to know if you have any particular recommendations (both for things that are very good, or critical reads/genre defining stuff).

Cheers, and I hope this isn't too vague an ask!

hiii! I mostly read shoujo/yuri (or as I call it, proto-yuri) from around the 70's, a lot of it isn't very good in a traditional sense, especially if you don't have a taste for melodrama and tragedy, but I find it deeply interesting and valuable nonetheless.

right now I have a list of proto-yuri I'm working through reading: https://www.tumblr.com/dregs-leftovers-parsley/748591148718833664/aries-no-otometachi-1973-satonaka

a lot of these are japanese only but some of them have fan-translations (namely sakura namiki, shiroi heya no futuri, maya no souretsu, utsukushiki kyuketsuki, oniisama e, and sakura no sono) I would highly recommend checking out sakura namiki, oniisama e, and sakura no sono (and its 1990 movie adaptation) especially.

if you want to look into some of the many works that have had an influence on revolutionary girl utena. I'd recommend oniisama e (again, read oniisama e), rose of versailles, heart of thomas and its movie adaptation, summer vacation 1999 (1988), kaze to ki no uta (be sure to check the content warnings on this one first), and sukeban deka (both the original manga and the ova series), specifically the witch hunt arc from ~volume 9

as for stuff I just personally enjoy consider checking out tokimeki tonight (long series), saint rosalind by watanabe masako, the hanshin anthology by hagio moto, the visitor by hagio moto (prequel to heart of thomas) and wata no kuni hoshi by oshima yumiko

I don't even have an excuse for saint rosalind it's not very good I just find it very endearing for some reason

thanks for letting me ramble ^_^ I'll turn you loose now

[drmorbius12]

Comic Tragedy

Of my own making lies still I drank deep your bitter dregs that took such toll to cross

Even now in the twilight of the unforgiven such foul deeds have no retaking

Depths yet unplumbed await beneath the step of the unwary who stumble and fall

Yet I set sail beyond your ken left behind that unparalleled defeat a lingering unwanted second sense

A gaping wound that knows no scar but for want of a clear new dawn these eyes have yet to see