#the dork reads how to be a normal person

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

Note: this is me just making a wonderland post about the canonical character in twisted wonderland based on translations, vignettes and manga. everyone has differing opinions and interpretations and I'm not gonna bicker about someone's version of Trey in their writing or their au.

I feel like some folks in twst fandom are realizing that canonical Trey isn't really like early/previous fandom Trey, who was characterized as a sweet completely normal bakerman who's also the heartslabyul mom, but instead of just going "oh yeah no, Trey can be petty and mischievous sometimes. usually in situations where there are others also being petty and mischievous while still keeping on top of his duties and engaging in his hobbies" some of the fandom seems to have swung to the other side of the spectrum and are like "oh? so trey has been living a lie this entire time! He actually HATES baking and he's got a ✨secret agenda✨ and he probably is a mastermind and is part of a heartslabyul shadow government!!!!"

And while i know that there's a good chance many are just being silly and making memes and jokes, i have seen the way fandom genuinely boils down characters and strips them of all nuance. Notable with the leech twins, sebek and rook who are all canonically dorks and goobers with their passions and interests in both the games and mangas. They're all intense but most are just awkward and passionate/invested in their interests. Like Sebek being boiled down to shouty malleus fanatic and ignore his various interests and hobbies. he can and will question Malleus notable in the recent chapters and also times when Malleus acts in a way that makes Sebek confused<- mainly in manga and vignettes. Like Floyd being boiled down to unhinged and unpredictable, when most of his actions and activities happen because he got bored of something being monotonous or tiring or repetitive and goes to look for something more interesting like drama or someone with strong reactions to mess with. Guy just gets bored and goes to look for something interesting. Or Rook who gets extremely invested in whatever is his current interest/passion to the point of ignoring everything else. Jade also does this. They're all goobers tbh. Just guys, just folks.

Trey Clover is also just a guy. He is just conflict avoidant tbh. Trey just wants to keep the peace, to make sure people aren't fighting, people are following the rules and aren't making messes. Like that's something he mentions often and that many of his actions reflect from how he checks in on all the students and makes sure they're following heartslabyul rules but doesn't tell Riddle about any rule breaks so as to keep peace, to holding back in activities so he doesn't draw attention and not mentioning stuff he might know specifically so that he doesn't get asked about it (notably when Jamil wants to read ancient texts and trey only reads it upon finding out it contained an ancient tooth paste recipe). He seeks convenience, peace and calm. He's not exactly a schemer, out to get something specific or complete some goal in life like those such as Jamil, Leona or Azul. He's also not necessarily someone solely attempting to coast by and only seek stimulus/fun like with Kalim and Cater.

He's not secretly cruel and not the secret mastermind behind heartslabyul. Yes, He's mischievous and sometimes petty. Notably he gets this way when other petty and mischievous people are around him and it's usually in response to those that were acting like that (messing with ace, messing with Jade, etc). He does care and he does look out for his dormmates and peers. Honestly if he truly didn't care about Riddle or Ace and Deuce then he really wouldn't have helped them, plus he doesn't necessarily go out of his way to help every person anyways. If he truly didn't care then he could've abandoned Riddle when he was at his lowest like the rest of the dorm, or even just let Ace and Deuce carry out their punishment instead of helping them bake tarts and pies to try to help out with Riddle's anger.

As for if he likes baking? Imma be real, that guy can't not like baking. If he hated baking then he's a masochist (joking) because fucker is baking everyday with a smile and trying get everyone to eat his baking and constantly sharing all the goodies he's made (genuine). He's baking constantly in both the game and in manga. There are so many instances where he bakes experimentally, he bakes recreationally or bakes for his dorm. There're so many instances where he just carries cupcakes and scones and cookies everywhere. He bakes some to share with his Science club members, shares some type of goody with every iteration of the Yuu's (mangas and game). He goes out of his way to buy new recipe books with his own money to bake more things. In one vignette he bought an entire recipe book specifically so he can learn to bake this one (1) type of dessert he saw once because he liked the way the dessert looked so much that he wanted to make it and went and BOUGHT AN ENTIRE NEW RECIPE BOOK just to make that one dessert. That guy likes to bake. Yeah sure, he says "i don't bake with love 😏" but that doesn't mean anything in the context of NRC which is "emotionally repressed anti-feelings" central where nearly everyone can't be genuine and blunt with their feelings and emotions (even the more blunt and jovial characters have some deep sadness or deep trauma stuff that gets hinted at several times like with Cater, Kalim, Silver and Sebek). Folks in NRC are emotionally repressed and hate admitting connection with each other. Seriously, check out Yuurei20's post on how often the term "friend" is used in the original Japanese, there's very few canonical mentions of them calling each other friend EXCEPT WHEN ENGLISH TRANSLATION ADDED IT otherwise they don't normally actually acknowledge their connections and some never actually say friend at all. They'll call each other classmates or something but in JP they don't really like to acknowledge closeness.

Trey clearly likes to bake and invests a significant amount of time into it beyond just occasional cooking duty and he also shares his goods with practically everyone. Yeah sure he's from a family of bakers and I've seen some people say that "oh but he's just baking because of his family job" but it's not like they urgently need their son, who's in class and currently at the magic boarding school, to bake everyday for their baking needs and i guarantee that he doesn't need to go out of his way to get experimental with his baking and wouldn't bake that often if it's just cause of family business or practice. Plus if it's just that then why would he go out of his way to buy recipe books just cause he saw a single dessert that inspired him. He's not just baking for family business reasons. Trey likes to bake.

Honestly, I'm not surprised he says that he doesn't bake with love especially in a place like NRC. As mentioned earlier, everyone gets so weird and pressed about connection and also makes fun of each other for expressing care. Some even get anxious about another's intentions if given unasked for help (notable when Kalim helped Azul get his hat in the manga and Azul stresses about trying to repay this favor). Also baking is just a hobby, similar to crafting, drawing or writing and sometimes people just take satisfaction and joy in simply doing those things. When someone makes something, they don't always have to put in heartfelt feelings in it per se. When someone draws, sometimes it's cathartic or you just felt inspired and just wanted to draw. Sometimes it is specifically to destress or to get out feelings. Sometimes drawing is just because you can do it so you did. Similarly, baking can just be because you wanted to and you like baking. Plus it makes sense Trey wasn't like "i put all my love and feelings in my baking<3" because in the context of that line he seemed to be referencing baking for his peers and strangers. He's baking for people in his school or for events. So Honestly yeah??? Of course Trey wouldn't say he puts love in his baking. He's baking for his friends, for his club and for dorm stuff and also bakes experimental recipes. He isn't stirring that bowl of batter and going "now to put in all of my love and dedication <3" during those times because it would be kinda odd for most of those scenarios tbh. For experimental recipes, you're low-key kinda just fucking around and taking notes to see what works and i imagine trey would be doing the same and wouldn't be emotional over his bowl of batter during this time. For his club and dorm stuff, Trey isn't super close with EVERYONE in there and he's just trying to make sure there's enough so again fitting that he's not going "made with love". If he's making treats for his friends then he certainly tends to put in more effort, usually in regards to taste and diet (notable with vil and Cater as he tends to make things that they will actually like) and seems to like compliments on his cooking especially from those he's closer to. While he does put in that extra care which implies closer bonds, i do think most of the nrc boys would still be put off if trey was like "for you, made with love <3" (i think Ace would make fun of him so hard and even cater would be thrown for a loop). I will also note that in several vignettes as well as in several scenes in the manga, he gets genuinely put out if someone doesn't want to eat his cooking (notably in the manga if people were too busy to eat though this also happens in game) and in a few vignettes he even tries to adjust what he makes and what he pairs it with specifically so they will eat more of what he makes (notably with Vil and trying to make light desserts and pastries as well as pairing it with certain preferred teas) which to me shows he does put care and thoughtfulness into his baking even if he doesn't say it outright.

Long story short: Trey is not uncaring (he looks out for his dormmates and friends even baking treats specifically for their taste when he can), he likes baking (he wouldn't be so invested in trying new recipes, looking for inspiration or going out of his way to experiment with his baking if he wasn't), he's not really scheming so much as he's trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict to the point of either keeping quiet, thwarting shenanigans (notably with ace and deuce), or hiding his abilities (he's not like Azul, jamil or Leona who are aiming for top spot and in fact trey dislikes added fuss and dislikes the spotlight), and he's mischievous and petty at times though notably with those that are also mischievous or petty (he will mess with his younger dorm members though will try to stop them from actually messing up like with the oyster sauce joke for the chestnut tarts, and sometimes messes with others)

[prettiestgrlinthemorguexo]

Swipe (Lucifer morningstar x reader)

Description: after his divorce, he finally gets back into the dating game…through a dating app :)

Please note I’m writing this before the release of ep7 and ep8 so-

Takes place between ep 5 and right before ep 6

I wrote nearly 98% of this at like 3 AM-

Part 1 of 3

Warning: Lucifer being a dork, Lucifer being a dorky dad, age gap(reader died at like 25 and Lucifer is like a good few thousands years old so), talk of divorce, Charlie being a supportive daughter, I’ve never used a dating apps so i might get info wrong, Lucifer doesn’t know modern day technology or slang, lying, Lucifer straight up cat fishing reader,

No one’s POV

Lucifer was a wreck after his divorce with Lilith. Becoming the shell of the man he was, going from a family-oriented to a man who barely talk to anyone. After visiting his daughter and her hotel, he knew he had to be there, he already missed so much he wasn’t gonna miss another second of it. Becoming the best father he could also meant moving on, it’s been seven years since the separation. Charlie knew her Dad had been in pain since the divorce but she could tell, he was trying and she was going to be there.

Lucifer’s POV

“Charlie, are you sure about this?” I ask still hesitant, I knew Charlie just wanted to help and had the best intentions, but a dating app?  “Of course!” Charlie exclaimed, face lite up. “It’s perfect! You get to meet people without the face to face interactions!” Charlie said downloading the app, viva by Voxtech.

Charlie’s was more excited than I was, I wanted to meet people but an app? I can’t help but feel my heart race and my body get heavy, why was I this nervous. In the middle of my overthinking Charlie handed me the phone, it had a profile made it had my name and many details. It felt like I was giving it to all 9 rings of hell! “Ok! How we gotta add some photos an-“

“Charlie!”

We both turned are head to see Alastor and Vaggie standing there. “Can you help with something real quick?” Vaggie ask seeming annoyed. “Of course!” Charlie’s called back before as standing up. “You go ahead and add those photos dad I’ll be back!” Charlie said as she ran to the two, leaving me alone on the couch staring at the screen. 

I read over the info and it all was so…personal. How would anyone be comfortable putting this much out? I Don’t get me started with being the King of Hell it’s self, then an idea popped in my head. I turn my head slightly to see Charlie still talking to the pair so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I added photos of my duck inventions and made a duck with a white top hat as my ‘icon’. Now onto the name, Lucifer was too out there everyone would know, think! L names that are similar.

Lucifer..

Luci…

Luc…

Luca..

Luca! I instantly think changing the name quickly, removing the last name from the profile along with it. After that it looked like a normal profile. When I finished and satisfied with it Charlie was walking back over. “Sorry bout that dad! Now back to w-.” While she was speaking I shove my phone in my pocket and stand up. “No it’s fine! I set it up!” I nearly screamed it out as I stood from the couch. Charlie stared at me shock for a moment before her normal bright smile returned to her face. “Wow that’s great!” She said as she walked over “Look at you getting the hang of technology!” Charlie said happily. I didn’t know why I was so nervous by an app, but it was on my mind. After finishing talking to Charlie I was able to leave, soon I was back in my bedroom. I let out a sigh and feel onto the massive bed and pulled out my phone, Viva still open.

Y/N POV

Left..Left..Left..

God this app was a never ending app of swiping left on people wanting hook-ups was tiring. This was the last time I’d take F/N advice and use a dating app, the fact they exist in hell was already surprising. It was nude after nude of people looking for a hookup. Then something different popped up, instead of the naked body I almost have gotten used to, I was greeted by a rubber duck with a white top hat. My eyes widen a bit as I layed there I swipped to look at the second photo, more ducks. I then moved and read the bio. “Luca..” I said quietly to myself reading the short info. I looked at the photos and the bio, it stood out in the sea of profile, i stair a while longer…

…Right.

“CONGRATS! YOU GOT A MATCH!” Popped up on my screen in red shades, with the little duck icon. “…that was quick” I think to myself. I click on the little message option.

Y/N - Hi :)

No ones POV

Lucifer layed there looking at the profiles, this was dating. More like brothel. He could barely understand, after swiping left a few times he chose to just turn off his phone, it was a mistake to think an app could help. Almost as soon as Lucifer sat his phone down his phone went off, illuminating the room …then it went off again.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow picking up his phone to see two notifications, both from Viva. Seeing a match with someone named Y/N and a message from them. Lucifer felt himself lose the ability to breathe, “A match?” Lucifer asked himself, confused on what that meant, he open the Add to be greeted my the words “CONGRATS! YOU GOT A MATCH!” And the icon that belong to Y/N.

The icon was a photo of Y/N. Lucifer’s eyes lit up and he finally let out a breath. He admired their features. Their H/C H/L that looked perfect, their E/C eyes drew him in. He clicked the image see their profile, he was greeted my a normal photo of you, it stood out. Lucifer saw the message illuminating in corner of the screen, he let out a breath and opened the message and saw a simple

Y/N - “Hi :)”

I sat their staring at the message before typing himself

Luca - Hi

Time skip (why? Because I fucking said so.)

Over the past few weeks, Lucifer and Y/N talked every day. Learning every little detail of each other. Lucifer learned about your job, your friends, how you lived and how you died even. He couldn’t help but want to know everything.

Y/N learned he had a daughter and that he’d been “recently divorced”, his words not theirs. Y/N learned that he loves ducks and creating new duck toys, he was a big dork, like a big puppy dog. Of course you didn’t know you were talking to Lucifer himself, you thought you were talking to a man named Luca…

During Lucifer’s now frequent visit to his daughter and her little Hazbin hotel, Charlie couldn’t help but notice how her dad was one his phone more then usual, usual being never. Naturally, Charlie was curious. “Sooo..” Charlie started, a little unsure what to say about her fathers new found internet obsession. “Who are you talking to?” Charlie ask curious.

Lucifer was quick to meet his daughters eyes and quickly put his phone face down on the table . “No one!” He said in an almost scream, before it buzzed again..and again…and again. Charlie eyes went between her dads now sweating face and and his phone. Before Lucifer could even react, Charlie reached for his phone. “Wait!” Lucifer said reaching for his phone from her hands, the phone screen lite up and Charlie was greeted my 4 notifications from someone named Y/N from Viva. Charlie gasp turning quickly turning to face him, Charlie’s face lite up like Christmas lights. “YOUR TALKING TO SOMEONE?!” Charlie squealed from excitement, since she helped set up his password she quickly opened his phone to see more.

“Charlie don’t-“ Lucifer started to say before seeing her face fall from its happy to confused. “Wait..” Charlie said looking at his profile, “why is your name ‘Luca’?” Charlie ask her eyes moving from his phone finally to be greeted with Lucifer’s red face “well…,” Lucifer started, “I wasn’t comfortable putting my name and photo on there so…I put a different name and photo.” Charlie’s face went from suprise to more annoyed, not angry, just disappointed. “Dad you can’t just do that!” Charlie said to her father, her free rubbing her face. “You can’t just catfish her!”

Lucifer looked confused, catfish? Like the animal? “Catfish?” Lucifer asked, truly not understanding the term. “Yes dad you can’t just lie about who you are to someone like that!” Charlie said scolding her father. Lucifer after that was able to put two and two together, the weight of what he’s been hit him like a bus. “Dad,” Charlie said letting out a sigh, “you have to come clean to them.” She said as she handed him his phone. “Char ITS not that easy!” Lucifer said taking the phone from then hand seeing them newest text, her caring words, them asking if he he’s eaten, remind him to take care of himself, her word hit his heart hard. “It’s not a normal situation, I’m the king of hell, not some random sinner!” Lucifer said he eyes not leaving the illuminated screen. “Dad, they’re gonna find out sooner or later, it’s better if you do it now, early into you talking then later..”

Lucifer stated quiet, he knew deep down she was right, he did truly like them and want more with them, he could only imagine how you’d react if he waited much longer it’s already been a few weeks… Lucifer let out a sigh and looked up at his daughter. “your right..” he said quietly, “I’ll tell them just…give me time..” Charlie stared for a moment before letting before smiling again. “Just do it soon dad…” Lucifer knew she was right.

Later that night Lucifer layed in his bed, looking at her last message, contemplating how to tell them, shoudl he texted it, no they’d think he’s joking, “maybe…” he though out loud. “A FaceTime..?” He asked himself, no, he didn’t even know how to start one… maybe…a date? You’d know he wasn’t lying about being satan himself, he could explain better then over a device and he could only imagine how beautiful you were in person… Lucifer looked down at the message you last send hesitation purged his mind, but slowly he began to type.

Luca - hey, can I ask you something?

Y/N - of course ask anything! :)

Luca - I was thinking he could go out sometime? Like a date going out.

After a a minute he saw you typing a new message. He could already feel his heart race a mile a minute, he felt a cold sweat form. Why was he so nervous? Then a little buzz when off, it was you he was hesitant but swipe to open the message.

Y/N - wait really? You wanna go on a date with me??

Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat before typing with shaky fingers.

Luca - yes Y/N I really do.

Y/N - Yes I’d love to!! ❤️

Lucifer’s eyes lit up seeing you answer in only seconds, he can’t help but feel his heart flutter at the simple heart emoticon. Soon you both planned to meet for dinner the next night at a nice restaurant, named killer appetite, closer to the center of pentagram city, then he hit him…you both were actually going on a date. Together…

Y/N’s POV

When I saw his message asking me out, I could have screamed. He actually wanted to see me! I quickly typed and agreed to it. We chose dinner at a nice high end restaurant closer to the center of the city, I’ve heard of the place it was up scale. I was so ecstatic.

The next day at work couldn’t have gone slower, it felt like every minute was a hour long but as soon as that clock hit five, I was out the door racing home to get ready.As soon I was ready, my hair and outfit was perfect. I was quick out the door to the restaurant. On my way I received a message from Luca.

Luca - hey! Placed a reservation under L.M.

“L.M?” I asked myself, wondering what it meant, maybe his initials? I smile and replied ok,only a few minutes later I was at the restaurant, even though it was only 7 the restaurant was lively, full and packed. I walked over to the hostess stand.

“Hi, there should be a reservation for L.M?” I felt nervous, a mix of because of how busy it is and meet him…when I said the name of the reservation the hostess gave changed a mix of nervousness and excitement. “Of course! Right this way!” She said trying to put on a happy face but the nerves over shadowed that, she let me to a table already set up in a quieter area, almost completely different from the bustling atmosphere of the restaurant. “your server will be with you shortly, please enjoy!” She said as she raced out the room. I staired at the entrance way confused, why was that girl so nervous, and to have such a secluded area on a Friday night, it was unusual…

I sat down at the table that faced the entrance way. I pulled out my phone to text me.

Y/N - Hey! I just sat down! We have a really nice table, are you almost here? :)

I saw he read the text but no reply, I felt nervous again, my eyes kept watching my phone, my mouth was dry. But then I heard a voice “sorry I’m late..” the voice sounded nervous. I look up to a short blonde man. My eyes widen and my mouth is dry…

I was looking at Lucifer himself…

TAG LIST

@reverse-soe @kazurami14 @netheris @rainycloud858

[heartfullofleeches]

Haven't talked about them in a few days, but I just adore Jellyfish Darling and Alien together because I imagine Jellyfish as this ethereal, angelic looking being with their translucent skin and tendrils - and then we just have Al who is this normal guy (on the surface)

This dork who lives in spaceship pajama pants pulling what has to appear God's gift to humanity solely over the fact they both glow.

-

Alien: My moms are religious, but personally I just can't picture God being real, unless they're the biggest asshole in the universe. If God existed and loved its creations then why the fuck do I keep dropping my keys down the exact same storm drain?

Jellyfish Darling: [exists]

Alien: I stand corrected.

-

Alien, talking to a coworker/friend at the theater they work at: Meeting them was the best moment of my life..... I mean I would've drowned if I had human lungs - which I do, but besides that it was still the best day of my life.

Coworker: Sick, I'm happy for you, dude. Got any pictures of them?

Alien: Ye- [Remembers that Jellyfish Darling is the finest thing to grace this earth - tossing their phone at the wall behind them] Well, I did, but as you can see my phone just broke.

-

Alien wears a shirt that reads "Me and the bad bitch I pulled not knowing how to swim" whenever they hang out with Jellyfish Darling soon as it comes in the mail

[nanamineedstherapy]

Controversial Opinion: The Anti-Sugar Baby Manifesto

Okay, so... does anyone else not want to be Nanami’s sugar baby, Gojo’s dependent, Sukuna’s servant, or insert your favorite emotionally unavailable man’s sidekick?

I’ve read (and loved!) plenty of fics where the reader is in one of these roles. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying them—power to you if that’s your vibe! But if we’re talking canon or even slightly realistic scenarios… yeah, I just can’t.

Before you start throwing tomatoes 🍅, hear me out. I promise this isn’t a hate post—just my thots.

Alright, buckle up because I’m about to destroy your sugar baby and servant fantasies with my unsolicited, unhinged takes.

Nanami Kento:

You wanna be Ken Doll’s sugar baby? Cute, but be serious. This man is one passive-aggressive comment away from throwing himself into traffic because he hates capitalism that much. He chose exorcisms and certain death over Excel sheets. Excel sheets, babe. If you think he’s gonna work overtime to buy you Versace, you’re delusional.

If I were with him, I’d work harder at my job (I hate corporate too, but not more than I love Nanami) and funnel my salary straight to him. He’d handle it responsibly because I’d just blow it on expensive pens, another PC, and iced tea. But also? I’d keep an emergency fund. Trust no one. Not even your man.

Let’s not forget the workplace romance trope. This man is the epitome of professionalism. He’d never date his coworker, let alone his secretary. Not because you’re not amazing, but because the power imbalance would haunt him. Like, he’d wake up in a cold sweat thinking about HR policies. And I respect that about him bcs same.

Also, please don’t get involved with someone who promises love and then runs to HR if his job’s on the line. (Not Nanami but in general advice.)

The stats don’t lie, and I’m not about to become the next cautionary tale in a LinkedIn post.

Gojo Satoru:

You wanna date Gojo? Cute. Except he wouldn’t date you, let alone spoil you. He wouldn’t date anyone. He’s emotionally constipated, a walking trauma fest, hyperfocused on being the strongest sorcerer alive™️, and allergic to vulnerability.

Most fics turn him into this suave flirt, but let’s be real—canon Gojo struggles with human interaction beyond being a troll. He’s a nerdy dork, so his game is shit even if he wanted to date you.

Y’all write him as this rich sugar daddy, but in reality? He’d spend your entire relationship trolling you, gaslighting you into thinking he’s a “normal guy,” and then disappearing for weeks because he’s busy babysitting teenagers and battling his inner demons.

Also, sugar babies love his money, but be honest—you don’t even like him; you like his black card. Gojo deserves better than being your walking ATM, and you deserve better than a man who’d eat your last snack just because he can.

Gifts are cute, but if he’s doing all the work while I’m chilling? That’s just freeloading.

I'm yet to come across a fic where he takes the time to realize he even wants a relationship, instead of being a pre-established fuckboy who suddenly changes because he found the 'right person.' Let’s be real, that’s not how it works. We shouldn’t glorify men for changing after finding the right person or excuse their past behavior, including any STDs they may have/had.

(Note to self: In future fics, explore his struggle to admit he wants a relationship and the challenges he faces in figuring out how to be in one.)

Haibara Yu:

So, you’re thinking about dating Haibara? Buckle up, ‘cause you’re signing up for a rollercoaster ride where the tracks are constantly under construction. Haibara’s got the energy of someone who just found out about sarcasm, but also the emotional depth of a puddle.

This guy’s all fun and games until you realize he’s like a cat that wants attention, but only on his terms. He’ll say the most unbothered things with that sunshine stare of his, but don’t be fooled. That’s his way of hiding his entire emotional baggage.

One minute, he’s sarcastic and aloof, and the next, he’s unexpectedly clingy, wanting to know if you still like him (even though he’d never admit it). You’ll spend half your time wondering if he actually likes you or if he’s just in a perpetual state of "I’m too cool for this."

Does he care? Absolutly. Expect texts like "I'm fine" followed by a cryptic emoji and zero context.

Dates? Don’t hold your breath. He's too busy trying to be taken seriously.

He’s not a millionaire either. Don’t expect a big grand gesture. His idea of spoiling you? Buying you a drink from the convenience store, giving you stale candy and maybe, just maybe, sending you a playlist of sad songs that “remind him of you.” Yeah, romantic, I know.

He’s not gonna spoil you with gifts, but he’ll share his last pack of gum like it’s the greatest act of love ever. Don’t expect consistency, just an occasional burst of affection sandwiched between long silences and sarcastic banter.

Would he be loyal? Absolutely. Would he constantly second-guess himself and need reassurance that you're not going to leave him because he doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings? Definitely.

Prepare to give him more emotional support than you ever signed up for. Would he adore you? Yes, but he’ll probably think it’s too much work to actually show it. But hey, if you’re into emotional chaos and not knowing where you stand, Haibara’s your guy.

You probably only like him because you know nothing about him.

Ryomen Sukuna:

The “servant/concubine” trope is insane. INSANE. You think Sukuna, the literal King of Curses, is gonna treat you like anything more than a chew toy? The power imbalance isn’t sexy—it’s electric chair. You’d either die mid-hookup (his hands alone could snap you in half) or be tossed into a volcano because you sneezed too loudly.

Be fr—he’d accidentally (or on purpose) kill anyone he sleeps with. The man’s a giant sadist, naturally rough, and has zero chill.

Romance? Nonexistent. Sukuna’s idea of flirting is probably something like, “You’re less annoying than most humans. Barely.” That’s not romantic; that’s verbal abuse with extra steps.

Toji Fushiguro:

This one hurts because Toji’s hot but this man has no money. None. Zero. If you want to date him, you better be ready to cover rent, groceries, and his “post-mission beer fund" because his entire paycheck goes toward sharpening his sword, buying protein powder, and gambling.

Let’s not forget he has a dead wife, and he went off the deep end after her death. Even if you could somehow 'fix' him like the unlicensed therapist you are because you have nothing better to do, he’s a vengeful widower who would leave you randomly for missions—and might not return because he’s driven by the insecurity of proving the Zenins wrong, which would get him killed.

Plus, he’d bring up his dead wife in every argument, saying things like, “She wasn’t this nagging; she didn’t do this or that.” People tend to glorify the dead, and he’d be the prime example of that. How could you compete with the memories of someone his mind has declared perfect?

He’s everyone's wet dream, sure, but do you really wanna date a guy who’d ghost you and leave you with his kid?

And don’t even get me started on his love language. It’s probably, “I killed a guy for you.” That’s cute until the cops show up at your door asking questions.

He might toss you a bone (not like that, calm down), but the idea of me paying for someone who might not even text me back? Pass.

Kamo Choso:

Sweetest man alive. Too pure for this world. But dating him would be like adopting a sad, traumatized puppy who cries every time you leave the room. You’d spend your entire relationship comforting him and Googling “how to help my boyfriend stop mourning his 17 dead brothers.”

He’s too busy laser-focusing on Yuji and going through an identity crisis to even think about being in a relationship. I’d want to protect him, not date him.

Also, his skincare routine is probably better than yours, which is cute until you realize you’ll never be the pretty one in the relationship.

Geto Suguru:

Ah, Babygurl Suguwu. Love him to death (pun intended), but dating him sounds like lifelong therapy.

Do you really wanna date a guy who’s juggling a cult, unresolved trauma, and genocidal tendencies?

His love language is probably “eliminating humanity,” and unless you’re down to join his pyramid scheme of sorcerer supremacy, this is not gonna work.

Also, you will forever be second place to the Gojo-fucking-Satoru.

Be serious. You will never win that chase. He'll leave you mid-sex to go see his 'one & only' babe.

Kashimo Hajime:

Kashimo would date you for the sole purpose of fighting you. He doesn’t want love; he wants violence—he’s looking for someone who can throw hands.

Imagine coming home after a 10-hour shift at work, exhausted, and this man’s standing in your living room like, “I’ve been waiting to test my new technique on you.” No, sir, I want a nap.

And don’t think you can just say no. He’d follow you to the grocery store, the dentist, your grandma’s funeral, like, “We fight now!”

Hiromi Higuruma:

Now, this man’s tempting. Responsible, classy, knows how to argue (a lawyer, duh), but... he’s also on the verge of a midlife crisis.

Do you really wanna date someone who’s one bad day away from snapping? You’d spend most of your time convincing him he’s not a terrible person, and honestly, I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for that. Therapy is expensive, and I already have PTSD from my ex.

Also, he’d probably start arguments just to win them. You think you’re ready for that kind of intellectual warfare 24*7?

Shiu Kong:

Do you like mafia drama? Because that’s what you’re signing up for. Mafia life isn’t sexy—it’s stressful.

You’d be dodging bullets, interrogating his “coworkers” about his whereabouts, and wondering if he’s about to betray you for a promotion.

Also, he's an asshole who's going to disappear after he's done with you; go see the scene before Toji died. Hard pass.

Kusakabe Atsuya:

This man is the king of doing the bare minimum. His love language is probably “napping,” and while that’s cute in theory, it’s less cute when he cancels date night because he “forgot” he had to sleep.

Honestly, he’d be a great friend, but as a partner? You’d be babysitting him.

Takuma Ino:

You wanna date Ino? Adorable. But let’s be real, you’re signing up for 24/7 unpaid emotional labor. Ino’s a golden retriever boy who desperately wants validation, and you’d basically be his therapist, hype woman, and emotional punching bag all rolled into one.

He’d shower you with attention (cute, right?) until you realize he’s also incredibly insecure and needs constant reassurance that he’s “doing a good job.” You’d be his number one fan and his HR department.

He’s not rich either. Like, at all. His idea of spoiling you would be buying you snacks from the konbini and taking you to the movies with coupons. Don’t expect luxury here—expect a man who puts in effort but forgets anniversaries because he was too busy stressing about being a sorcerer who no one takes seriously.

Would he adore you? Yes. Would you want to be adored by someone who still Googles “how to ask her out” while you’re already dating? I’ll let you decide.

Final Thots-

At the end of the day, I’d rather have my own independence than rely on someone else to “take care of me.”

I want a partner—not a sugar daddy, not a servant-master dynamic, not a walking red flag, and definitely not a paycheck.

I'd rather have a househusband who's retired and relaxed than an overworked sugar daddy—or worse, a dead one. Is that too much to ask?

Anyway, this is just my opinion!

If you love those tropes—go off; that’s totally valid. I’m not yucking anyone’s yum. We all have our preferences, and that’s what makes fandom fun.

No hate, just vibes.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I’ll see myself out. 👋

If you still wanna fight, my comments are open, although I will reply like the guy you are fighting for.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping

Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human 

Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes

But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up

One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring” 

Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it 

Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice 

The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in

Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo” 

They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do” 

You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses 

That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out 

Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them 

It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again 

Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out 

I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones 

Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion 

(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM) 

(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf) 

Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut

But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?” 

It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them

They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!” 

When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram” 

It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing

After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise

Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around 

And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask 

Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all

Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?” 

And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Movie Night

Summary: You and Javi are trying to pick a movie to watch together. When Javi decides to change into gray sweatpants to get more comfortable... something else besides movie watching ensues.

Word Count: 2.3K

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), established relationship, face fucking, oral (m receiving), mastrubation (f), praise kink, Javi in gray sweatpants (it deserves its own warning), reader has hair that can be held, Javi being a menace but still soft and sweet (because that's just how I roll)

A/N: This was inspired by an ask from an anon (thank you, non, Javi in gray sweatpants is everything), and I'm absolutely feral completely normal about it!!! Also, I had this gif in mind the whole time I was writing this because GOD DAMN 🥴🥵

This can be read as a stand alone, or as a part of the It's Never Too Late Series!!

“Forrest Gump?” 

“No…” 

“Jaws?” 

“No, not that either…” 

“Pulp Fiction?” 

“Not that one…” 

“Well ya gotta pick something Osita.” Javi sighed, laughing to himself at your indecisiveness as he put back the VHS tape choices he had pulled out for your weekly Friday night movie. Ever since the two of you had started dating, Friday nights had been exclusively reserved for you and Javi cuddling up on your couch, eating the pizza he picked up on the way home from work, and catching him up on the many movie classics he had missed since his time away in Colombia- a well deserved way to end both of your weeks. The first few weeks of movie night picks had been easy- mandating that Javi had to watch all of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones series (your two personal favorites) before moving on to anything else. You had let Javi pick what movies he had wanted to watch from there, mostly to curb any time wasted from your indecisiveness on choosing something. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna pick?” You groaned, squatting down next to Javi as the two of you sorted through the movie collection under the TV stand. 

“Osita, I’ve picked like, the last 3 weeks in a row. I promise, I don’t care what we watch. I’ll make it easy on you. Here…” Reaching back into the TV stand, Javi pulled out a few random movies, scattering them on the ground before looking back at you. “I’m gonna go change out of my work clothes, pick something from these by the time I get back. Only 4 choices. Can’t be that hard, ya dork.” Javi chuckled, pressing a quick kiss onto your forehead before standing back up and making his way towards the bedroom. 

‘Fine…” You grumbled, shuffling through the choices that Javi had left. Reaching down next to you, you picked up “The Princess Bride”, deeming it the best of the 4 random tapes Javi had pulled from the TV stand, popping it in to the VHS player before settling back onto the couch, curling up in one of the blankets you had draped over the sides. “I picked something!” You shouted towards the bedroom, hearing Javi’s footsteps beginning to make their way down the hall. 

“See? Knew you could do it, Hermosa.” Javi’s voice trailed behind him as he stepped into the living room, playfully rolling his eyes at you. “So, what are we watching?” 

Truth be told, you hadn’t heard a single word Javi had said since you had watched him enter the living room- Not after seeing what he was wearing. 

He had changed out of his work attire and exchanged it for a fitted black t-shirt and gray sweatpants that left very little to the imagination. Javi had insisted to you that they really were the only pair of sweatpants that he had, but there was a part of you that was convinced he knew just how irresistible he looked in them, and that the sight of him in those pants made you absolutely feral. 

“Hmmmm?” You replied, visibly shaking your head to try and reel yourself in from the thoughts you were already having after seeing your boyfriend walk into the room in his new outfit. “Sorry, what did you say?” 

“I asked, what movie are we watching?” He nodded towards the TV as he sat next to you on the couch, legs splayed open in a way that had the outline of his bulge perfectly pressed against the gray fabric of his pants. You could practically feel your mouth watering as you looked down at his lap- you were trying your best not to stare, but you couldn’t help but swipe your tongue along your bottom lip breathing heavily as you looked up at Javi. 

“Or…” You smirked, working your way across the couch to crawl into Javi’s lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of his, running your fingers through the dark curls of his hair. “We could not watch the movie and do something else.” Your hands began to travel down Javi’s body, resting on his chest and grabbing at fist fulls of his shirt as your hips pressed down into his, feeling him starting to become hard underneath you, your kisses becoming desperate and frantic. 

“Something else, huh?” You could feel Javi’s boyish grin between the presses of your lips, his hands working their way up and down your body before digging into your hips as you rolled them against his lap. 

“Mhmmmmmm.” You nodded, reaching down to palm at Javi’s dick, straining against the fabric of his pants. “God, you look so good in these. You know what these sweatpants do to me, Jav?” Your kisses left Javi’s lips, slowly trailing down his body in hot, wet presses against the exposed skin of his neck and soft fabric of his shirt. You slid off Javi’s lap, kneeling on the ground in front of him, tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants, springing free his cock, already painfully hard and leaking with precum. Javi lifted his legs, shuffling his pants down to pool around his ankles, letting your hands and kisses wander up his thighs. 

“Fuck me, Hermosa…” Javi groaned, leaning his head back against the edge of the couch as you planted hot kisses along his length, one hand slowly stroking the base of his shaft, the other running up and down the skin of his legs. “You wanna suck my dick, baby?” 

You smirked, gently shaking your head from side to side, looking up at Javi. “I- I want you to fuck my mouth, Javi.” 

Javi’s eyes went wide, jaw immediately going slack as your words left your mouth, visabally taking a moment to process your request. He reached down to cradle your face, forcing your gaze up towards his. “Baby… I don’t- Hermosa…are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you or anything.” 

Regardless of what either of you wanted in the bedroom, rough, soft, or anything in between, Javi’s first priority had always been making sure that first and foremost, you were comfortable. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about your request before- as much as he loved going down on you, Javi absolutely lost his mind every time you went down on him, and the thought of you on your knees, taking his cock deep down your throat as he fucked your mouth had him rock hard. 

“Javi,” You giggled, biting down on your lip, raising an eyebrow at him, “I’m positive. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t want to. I wanna make you feel good, baby.” Grabbing the hand gently cupping your cheek, you tugged at it, forcing him to stand up, running your hands up and down his thighs before removing one to lick a broad strip down your palm and wrap it around his shaft, slowly stroking it, making him groan. 

“Fuck me.” He muttered to himself, watching you wrap your hand around his length and taking him into your mouth, swirling the tangy mix of his arousal and your spit around your tongue. He ran his hand through the dark curls of his hair, trying his best to keep his composure, already so worked up from just the thought of what you were about to let him do alone. “If it’s too much, you let me know, okay? Tap my leg or my arm or whatever, and I’ll stop, no questions asked, I-” 

“Javi. I love you, baby. I wanna choke on your dick. I promise I’ll be okay.” You smirked, nodding in reassurance, hand still twisting around the base of his shaft, making its way up to thumb at his tip, red and leaking, sliding the mix of your saliva and his precum up and down his length. 

“Jesus. Okay, Hermosa. Open that pretty mouth for me, baby girl.” He reached down, thumb tugging at your bottom lip before sliding his hand along the back of your head, carefully cradling it as your jaw hinged open, sticking out your tongue for him to place his cock on. Your eyes batted up at him through heavy lashes, gripping around the back of his bare thighs as you let your mouth relax, his length hard and heavy against your tongue as you took him between your lips. He eased into your throat, setting a slow pace as his hips gently rocked as you took him deeper into your mouth, hearing him audibly moan as your fingertips dug into the skin of his legs, urging him to go deeper, pulling him closer to you. “You sure?” Javi looked at you, eyes wide as you nodded, humming against his cock in approval, as if he knew exactly what your little gesture had meant. 

Javi pulled back, pausing for a moment, a devilish smirk spreading across his face before pushing all the way back in, making you hollow your cheeks and breath through your nose, brushing up against the curls at his base, the sweet and musky scent of him filling your nostrils as you inhaled. “Oh fuck, Osita. Holy shit.” His voice rasped, hitching in the back of his throat watching your mouth fill with his cock. His fingers ran through your hair, tugging a little tighter as his thrusts began to quicken, his grunts and moans becoming louder with each push and pull. “Fuck, such a good girl taking me so well. So fucking pretty when you suck my cock baby, holy fuck.” 

His other hand met his first, cupping the back of your head as he fucked into you, hitting the back of your throat as tears welled in your eyes and drool pooled from your lips as his cock consumed your mouth. You loved sucking Javi’s dick because you knew just how good it made him feel- watching his face all blissed out, leaving him a moaning and muttering mess. But this? Looking up at him through your heavy lids seeing the pure euphoria radiating off of him? It was unmatched.

 You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together, trying to ease the ache that had rapidly been building between your legs, feeling the wetness pooling in the fabric of your underwear. Desperate to ease your own needs, you shifted one of the hands that was holding the back of Javi’s thigh, bringing it down to snake down your sweatpants and the waistband of your panties, humming in relief around Javi’s length as you rubbed your clit, already throbbing and pulsing before your fingers had even touched it. Feeling the absent grip of your fingertips in his leg, Javi looked down to see you touching yourself as his cock thrusted in and out of your mouth, making his jaw even more slack, while his pace became more frantic and sloppy. 

 “You touching yourself, baby? Fuck- sucking my cock like this got you all worked up?” Javi groaned through gritted teeth as you nodded up at him with watery eyes, hollowing your cheeks to try and keep from gagging as he brushed against the back of your throat. “Fuck meeee.” He whimpered, not sure how much longer he was going to last watching you, feeling the tingle at the base of his spine already beginning to grow. “Dirty fucking girl. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby- shit- be a good girl and make yourself cum on those pretty little fingers for me, yeah? Wanna see you- oh fuck- wanna see you cum for me before I fuck myself down your throat.” 

Sliding deeper into your panties, you felt the slick covering your folds as you dipped your 2 fingers inside your heat, the palm of your hand bumping against your clit while you touched yourself, feeling equally as worked up and close to finishing as Javi was. Saliva spilled from the sides of your mouth as tears slid down your cheeks as Javi’s cock filled every inch of your mouth, the veins of his dick throbbing along your tongue. You could feel your pussy begin to flutter as your hands slid in and out of your dripping entrance, arousal pooling in your belly with each brush of your palm along your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your whimpers and moans humming around Javi’s cock had him reeling, his fingers gripping tighter around the ends of your hair as he cradled the back of your head, as he pushed deeper down your throat.

 Suddenly, you could feel the coil inside you snap, your cunt clenching hard around your fingers as your orgasm ripped through you, your eyes squeezing shut and the breathing through your nose becoming heavier as you came. Knowing that you had hit your high, Javi sought relentlessly to reach his own, desperately thrusting into you. “Fuck me, Osita. Fuck. I’m so close baby, shit, gonna fill up that pretty mouth of yours. Meirda, Hermosa, ay dios mío, voy a-aahhhhhhhhh  (Shit, Beautiful, oh my god, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh).” With one more push of his hips, Javi’s spilled himself inside you, hot ropes of his spend coating the back of your throat as his cock throbbed, milking himself of every last drop before pulling back out of your mouth. Both of your breaths were slow and heavy, Javi’s hand resting under your chin, tilting your messy, wet face up towards his as you swallowed, taking his cum down your throat.

“Jesus Christ…” He whispered to himself, his jaw still slack and eyes wide as he looked down at you, a devilish grin now growing across his face. “Fuck me. Fuck, that was so hot. You okay, baby?” He asked, pulling you up to stand as you used the back of your hand to wipe the spit still dripping from the edges of your lips. 

“More than okay.” You smirked, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a hot kiss on his lips, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. “We’re gonna have to get you new sweatpants, Jav.” You giggled, still laughing at the fabric pooled around his ankles. Javi tilted his head in confusion, reaching down to shuffle his pants and boxers over his legs. 

“Why’s that, Hermosa?” 

“Because if you keep putting on those sweatpants every time we’re supposed to watch a movie, I don’t think we’re ever gonna watch a movie again.”

Taglist

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @dappydelta @blackfemalenerd

[varlaisvea]

’this one’

ok i am kind of a dork about ta’agra. i am a ~linguist by education, and in eso, ta’agra has definitely gotten the most love out of all of tamriel's languages, enough such that it has understandable grammar and root words. (enough such that you can kiiind of figure out a general idea of what zerith-var is saying a lot of the time!)( if you've read the amount about ta'agra that i have!) (a normal fanfic writer amount, which is obiously a lot but, as with all elder scrolls lore topics, is insignificant compared to the real ta'agra fans out there). (but for real imagine being a language dork and having a video game give u a lil language dork treat for being a dork about its made up language. elder scrolls babey.). i’ve always been interested in how khajiit refer to themselves, because they have multiple ways of doing so, and—this being the elder scrolls—the choices people make in this regard are culturally meaningful. someone may say “I/me” or “this one” or their name/nickname, and the choice says a lot about the character, their background, and their mindset.

"this one", as a phrase, actually has deep and nuanced historical, cultural, and linguistic lore. because this is the elder scrolls.

as far as personal pronouns, zerith-var and the characters in his flashback stories only use I/me to refer to themselves. one could simply assume that language usage changes over time (khajiit in the 4th era in skyrim, don't really use it, for example). but, this being the elder scrolls, of course this (ultimately extremely minor) lore discrepancy is explained: zerith says “this one” is a more accurate translation for the way the personal pronoun (I/me) is used in the modern day, but it’s completely absent in his time. he doesn’t like “this one” at all: he observes that while ta’agra and cyrodiilic have mixed significantly over time, in his era, they were ‘mere acquaintances.’

so, it's an effect of khajiit mixing more with the rest of tamriel after a few decent centuries without a major war or catastrophic plague, but it's also more than that. languages are frameworks that both inform and convey the speaker's cultural perspective, and using "this one" reflects a desire to express something that "I/me" does not. in terms of how the word is used grammatically, the translation of “ahziss”, the ta'agra personal pronoun, is most accurately “I/me/my." but the literal meaning of "ahziss" is more accurately "this one" or "one person [of a group]" (although canon vs fanon is murky here). so, implicit in the ta'agra personal pronoun is the fact that the speaker is part of a whole—ie, they are saying me, this particular member of the group (the khajiiti people), or this particular khajiit (me). i imagine this is why some khajiit use "khajiit" as a personal pronoun; that also seems like a pretty reasonable approximation of what it sounds like "ahziss" means. this being the elder scrolls, khajiiti mythology also reflects this concept of the individual always being a part of the whole through the lunar lattice—you can see why it might be important to someone to convey something like that in their speech, when referring to themselves.

if this were not the elder scrolls, the lore related to this phrase might end at grammar and history (or well before that), but we are playing a game franchise whose name itself references the truly absurd amount of lore it has. so obviously we must consider the modern usage of the term, in order to really round out the lore about 'this one.'

nobles, like Khamira and Gharesh-ri, tend to speak with a distinct upper-class accent, and exclusively refer to themselves as I/me. The same is true of many scholars, mages, and wealthy people. this seems to suggest that well-educated, wealthy, and cultured khajiit are speaking a more "proper" tamrielic. southern elsweyr is more cosmopolitan (at least the parts that remain, which are largely cities), and people from the south tend to consider themselves more worldly and refined than their northern counterparts. accordingly, this 'upper class' and 'more tamrielic' manner of speech seems associated with a southern accent. this is consistent enough in the game that you can hear the torval curiata in zerith-var’s quests speaking with a southern accent, but using ‘this one’, and it’s kind of jarring.

currently elsweyr has been devastated by the knahaten flu, but historically the south was a wealthy, multicultural coastal trading economy (plus skooma and elegantly organized crime). the north has always been largely badlands inhabited only by baandari nomads, with a more modest agrarian trading economy in the two (formerly three) cities in the north, which are constantly invaded by cyrodiil over the centuries, and cut off from the rest of elsweyr by a massive canyon (and now also a condemned city). so (sorry to any non-americans but i can only make analogies referencing places i know), the north is like if vermont was an ancient desert with dragons in it, while the south is like if bethesda maryland was a post-apocalyptic jungle w/ dragons in it.

soo lower-class, rural, and less-educated khajiit, as well as khajiit from the northernmost part of elsweyr, seem more likely to use 'this one', and there's a lot of overlap in those groups. it's just part of the way people talk-- many people seem to use 'this one'/'I'/their name to convey shades of meaning. using "this one" or your name both require consequently referring to yourself in the third person, which has a much different vibe than referring to yourself in the first person. using your full name, or your name plus your title, or your nickname, or "this one" all have different vibes, and say different things about how you would like to define yourself in that moment. different people mean different things with their choices, but your choice can convey levels of intimacy, public vs private speech, formal or informal, etc.; it's all about feeling and personal preference.

razum-dar is probably the khajiit you talk to the most, and he is interesting to pay attention to--he is as calculating in his use of language as he is with everything else. to the player and to queen ayrenn, he mostly calls himself "raz" (suggesting that's what he uses with people he considers friends), and he usually only uses "I/me" when he is expressing a genuine emotion--ie, almost never. he uses "this one" to humble and formalize his speech when speaking to nobility or in an official capacity, but he also defaults to it when he's in the field. he is impressively cultured, well-read, and politically savvy, but he keeps those "this one"s generous when talking to others, especially high elves. being from merryvale, he has a fairly obvious northern accent, so he is happy to play the part of the lazy redneck sleaze he knows people will presume him to be--he counts on people underestimating his intelligence, and uses it to his advantage.

when the elder scrolls is great, it's because they don't shy away from depicting eg racism, they make their racism function accurately within the culture they have created, and the in-universe racism is fully baked right into "this one".

the cyrodiilic perspective is the in-universe cultural norm in tamriel, and the cyrodillic idea of what a khajiit is like would be informed by the khajiit they would most often interact (and racism). that would be farmers from rimmen and riverhold at a grain market, or baandari traders, who talk and act even more Like That and are even more ~exotic. so, it makes sense that an exaggerated northern accent with copious "this one"s is often used as a sign that someone is being lazy, dishonest, false, or patronizing. think of Pacrooti and Fezez; both have the obsequious khajiiti huckster manner of speaking, underscored by every over-the-top khajiiti idiom in the wiki. They never say "I" or "me", which means they are always referring to themselves in the third person, which in English implies deception. it tacitly admits you are using a persona with some separation from yourself and a good amount of falseness, especially if you let slip that you understand the concept of "I" well enough to insincerely call a stranger to whom you are trying to sell something "my friend." (Fezez even uses "khajiit" as a personal pronoun, which is part of the persona in his case, but also people still do talk that way a sometimes--it seems to be old-fashioned; mostly used by elderly folks, baandari, and people in truly remote backwaters.)

i feel like you can see what zerith var disliked about 'this one'. like, even setting aside the fact that as a person, he cannot comprehend a definition of 'I' that does not already contain within it the concept of the lunar lattice (which is azurah's love, which connects all khajiit to one another, even the ones whose souls were thought beyond saving.) like you can see where that alone would be incomprehensible to his understanding of his own existence. but even aside from that.

he is observing how people treat each other in this time, both good and bad. so he must see the ways khajiit experience racism, and how that racism differs from place to place. his life was such that he never even had to consider the unthinkable question of how to convey what 'I' means to you, let alone how to convey that in a language you now must speak for your own survival. like how do you explain 'when I am talking about myself, I mean me, this person who is honored to be part of an eternal whole, and so completely humbled to be a link in that lattice that they must speak of themself in the third person.' and like, my mans understands how they got there, but he also sees it getting mocked and associated with all the negative stereotypes of modern-day khajiit. which he also cannot help but see reflected in the actions of khajiit, both because he is now experiencing a multicultural society for the first time ever and thus seeing khajiit through an observer's eyes for the first time, and because you totally actually do meet plenty of khajiit who lean into that persona, in fact most khajiit in any type of merchant or service role, anyone who is trying to sell you something, throw some of it into their personality.

and now despite the fact that he is a two thousand year old monk with the power to resurrect the damned in order to offer them true peace, and he has been here for like twenty minutes, he's already felt the weight of 2000 years of history and 2000 years of racism by having to contend with the existence of that phrase. i get why he's like 'nah not for me'

anyway surely this is a normal amount of things to know and ways to feel about a simple phrase in a fictional language!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media

hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.

for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.

so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.

now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.

the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.

(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)

listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!

I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.

and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!

I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!

like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.

[alexiabae]

SAME; leah williamson x fem!reader

Summary: in which y/n wants to hide her relationship so as not to put much pressure on leah.

Warnings: fluff, confusion, reader is twin sister of florence pugh.

Note: English is not my first language.

N/A: Hello! I know that I don't talk so much here, but I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read what I write. It's been a while since I updated something, but I don't have time. So, I will update when I can. I'll let you all with this one shot, I'm not satisfied with it, but something is something, I guess. Enjoy the WWC.😊

not my gif.

"Then, I'll see you tonight?" Asked her sister from the other line. A hopeful tone accompanied her question.

Y/N gulp, feeling already bad. She can't. She promised someone else that this time she can go to this event.

"I can't... I'm so sorry, Flo. I know I haven't seen you for two months but, I promise someone that I will go to this thing. I'm always postponing it and tonight I have the free night. I'm really sorry." Y/N said fast and sad. She really misses her twin sister.

A silence was the answer for Y/N, or that it was she thought.

"I understand, silly. Of course I want to see you, but I'm here for two weeks, sooooo... I hope that we can see each other." Flo said. Her tone of voice sounds reassuring, but she knows her sister and knows that she is sad, maybe disappointed.

"Of course, Flossie! I missed you. See you very soon." Y/N promised, already planning in her mind that this time, she will be the one to surprise.

"Alright then! Have fun tonight and be careful. Love you a lot." Flo wished.

Y/N let out an involuntary smile; "Thanks, bug. If you go home, give our parents a lot of love. Love more, chef." She heard how her sister chuckled for the nickname that Y/N put her.

Then, they said a few more words and hung up.

Y/N sighed and walked towards her wardrobe, choosing something comfortable and informal for that night.

While she tried to distract herself until that night, someone had another plan.

My gunner♥️

Hi baby! I'm just talking to you now to confirm that you will come tonight.

If you can't, it's alright. I understand.

I miss you🥲

She chuckled to herself for Leah's antics. And soon come to her mind how assertive this text is right now. It's like if her girlfriend is intuitive that something could change the plan.

My distraction🤍

Hello beautiful captain.

Stop worrying, okay?

I can go and apart I promise you that I will come to this game and plus if it special for you because it's a final.

I miss you too, dramatic😘

My gunner♥️

I can't avoid it💁🏼‍♀️

I just wanted to know, that's all. I can't wait to see you, even if I saw you last week, it's too long for me🥹

Talk with my mother or brother when you're there, they have the reservation for you.

Love you, baby girl.

(also, I love when you call me captain, pls never stop)

Y/N loves Leah's personality. From the first moment that the blonde approached her in a club two years ago, Leah can be a dork during the major part, but she can be serious if the situation requires.

She typed reassuring words and promised that she will be there and supporting her whatever the results would be.

•••

The Oxford girl gets out of her car, feeling nervous. She supposed that it's a normal thing at this point, but no. Maybe there are a few reasons behind her nervousness, and she needs to put it aside and enjoy this night for her, because it's been a long time since Y/N has free time, and for Leah.

When she unblocked her phone, she saw Leah's mother, Amanda, text her. The woman told her that they are already there and she will wait for her. Y/N typed that she is there now and accelerates her steps towards the starting full crow.

She tried to pass unnoticed, so her clothes weren't too flashy. She didn't put on the new England shirt that Leah gave her, it hurts, but they both agree from the start that they will try to maintain their relationship in secret, only the near people would know it. Or almost.

"Hey, sweetie! Over here." Amanda's voice interrupted her train of thought. The woman, who has an arm raised to call her attention, wave her hand in the process too. "Nice to see you again, darling. It's been a long time since the last time we saw you. How are you?" Amanda asked her once she approached her and immediately engulfed her in a bug hug.

"Hello, Amanda. Nice to see you too! I'm good, what about you? I can't wait to have another family party like the other time." Y/N answered, receiving the hug with open arms, not knowing how much she needed that.

Amanda chuckled, separating a little from her, putting both hands on her shoulders.

"I'm fine too. Excited to see what happens tonight. About the family party we will have one soon, if you want to come you know that you will be welcome." Y/N smiled gratefully and soon Amanda led the way towards the VIP area, where most of the player's family is sitting there.

"Ohhh, my favourite sister is here!" Jacob's words made Y/N laugh, accepting the hug that the tall man wanted to give her.

"I still don't know what that means. But I like it." Y/N said honestly, giving Leah's dad another hug.

"Some day I will explain it to you, young lady." Jacob said in a wise tone.

"I'm two years older than you, Jake." Y/N pointed out laughing at his antics.

The Williamson boy shrugged and gave her an innocent smile. "They warmed up a few minutes ago." He informed her, looking briefly at the pitch. "She can't stop looking over here. It was a little annoying, actually. Or desperate, depending on how you look at it." He looked at her again and moved his eyebrows.

"Shut up, Jacob. Let your sisters alone." Amanda intervened, giving her son a warning look.

Y/N blushed a little for Amanda's reference towards her. It warmed her inside knowing that they truly cared about her.

Jacob and Y/N started to talk about trivial things in the meantime. Soon, the public started to clap, earning their attention. Both national teams started to approach in the pitch, England Vs. Brazil.

Y/N painted immediately a big smile when she saw Leah lead the way for her teammates. She saw Leah's concentrated face, showing her jaw clenched, something that Y/N secretively liked.

Once both teams put themselves in horizontal, the blonde eyes focus on the public, searching between the people until she finds her person. Leah bites a smile, preventing it from biting her lower lip.

"She saw you..." Jacob sang by her side, making Y/N roll her eyes with a smile.

"Jacob." Another warning from Amanda made the boy look away, sighing.

Y/N imitates Leah's action, biting her lower lip too.

She wanted to throw a kiss, but she stayed immobile on her spot and sang the anthem when it sounded.

•••

It's 30 minutes from the start and Y/N couldn't be more nervous. She and Jacob commented on the plays and mistakes from both teams, even if Y/N doesn't know too much about the sport.

She saw how Leah was giving everything from the start, showing to the world that she is in the same form as last summer and that a bad day could have everybody. Y/N loves how Leah shut up mouths in the pitch, how her answer is more powerful that some bitten words.

During the half time, Amanda offered to go grab some snacks for them, dragging with her Jacob even when Y/N offered herself help her, Y/N chose to grab her phone and see some messages. To her surprise, her brother texted her a few times.

TOby

Soooo...

It's my little sister enjoying football when she spends her whole life hating it?

Don't worry, you secret it safe with me ;)

Buuuuut... Meet me after it finishes okay?

Y/N blinked a few times, pressing the photo that her brother sent her.

It was him smiling like an idiot and behind him was the players, clearly he took the photo in the first half. But there was another photo, it was her looking distracted the match, with a lot of zoom.

The Oxford girl blushed for the second time that night. She looked immediately to where her brother was supposed to be, but she saw a lot of people blocking where he is.

"We're here! Take your coke and popcorn." Jacob offered her.

"Thanks." Y/N thanked him and came back to look where she was looking. When she didn't find him, decided to type him to let know that will wait him.

The rest of them match, Y/N get more relaxed but still was alert. And it didn't help that it went to the penalties, for her luck England won the first Finalissima. She saw proudly how Leah raised the trophy in the air, earning the ovation from the public. Her family was over the moon, Amanda even got emotional.

Leah after celebrating with her teammates a little, before the big party, she, like others, went to the family section. Her eyes inevitably are focusing on Y/N, where she was sitting next to her brother, chatting animatedly.

"Sweetie, I think Leah wants to see you." Amanda put her hand in Y/N knee to call her attention.

Y/N looks to where Leah is standing, in effect she is waiting for her or them to approach her.

She raised from her seat and frowned when notice that the other three stayed behind.

"Don't come with me?" She asked confused.

"We will give some alone time." Jacob explained, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Thank you, young gentleman." Y/N teased him a little, walking to where Leah is waiting with other players.

"Hey you." Leah said greet her in a deep and raspy voice. Her hands in the barrier, balancing herself softly.

"Hi captain." Y/N whispered once she was in front of her. She saw how Leah's eyes darkened and her jaw clenched, her cheeks colouring red. She chuckled lowly.

They maintain the distance, knowing very well where they are. For Leah it's hard not to jump the barrier and hug while kissing her.

"Hello, Y/N. Nice to see you." Keira interrupted the battle's eyes that Leah and her were maintaining.

"Hi, Keira. Nice to see you too. And congratulations by the way." Both leaned into each other to hug.

"I can't believe you hugged her first." Leah said with her eyes into them both.

Keira and Y/N snorted, knowing very well her behaviour.

"It's not my fault that I'm better than you." Keira teased her friend and ran away before Leah chased her, knowing too that if her girlfriend is involved, she can go easily.

Leah watched how her friend ran giggling like a child where Georgia is standing.

"Do you want a hug?" Y/N called her attention. Leah turned to look at her and nodded smiling shyly, making her girlfriend laugh. "You are a baby sometimes."

Leah grunted on her neck, passing her arms around Y/N's waist and relaxed when the other involved her arms around her neck.

"Congrats my love. You played amazingly." Y/N whispered on her hair, knowing that the blonde listened to her.

The gunner blushed, for her luck, her face was hiding on her neck and no one could see it.

"Thank you, baby." Leah gives her a sutil kiss on her neck and separates from her, leaving her arms on the barrier but looking at her with appreciation.

"Okay. I'll let you talk with your family. I'm going to see someone that I know is here." Y/N explained, Leah gives her a questioning look. "Later I will explain to you." She clarified.

Leah nods slowly and watches how step up towards she was before.

•••

"Where are you?" Y/N called his brother when she walked where he was supposed to be and didn't find him.

"Wait over there. I'm not too far away." Toby said, hanging up.

Y/N sighed while watching her phone seriously. It does not pass too much time when she feels someone lift her up.

"How is my little sister?" Toby's voice relaxed her.

"Put me down, you idiot." Y/N command.

His brother does what she told him and once she is on the floor, she turns to look at him, seeing a silly smirk painted on her lips.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asks curious, hugging him by his shoulders.

"I can ask the same. But answering yours... I'm here with a friend, Dave. What about you." He hugged her too, separating later to look at her.

Y/N bites her lower lip. "I'm here because... A friend invited me." Y/N said, not lying after all.

Toby raised an eyebrow.

"And for casualty your friend it's not a player?" He inquired.

"Maybe..." Y/N said, trailing off.

"Okay." He simply says, smiling and hugging her sister.

Y/N knew him and right now felt very grateful for having an understanding brother, so she hugged him back.

"I thought you were with Flo." Y/N states.

"Yeah... But I have plans too. I feel bad, just like you. But I promise her that I will see her tomorrow. We will go to Oxford. Are you coming with us?" Toby explained, separating once again from the hug.

"Yeah. But I want to give her a surprise, so I will go on my own." She explained what she wanted to do.

Toby smiled. "Alright. I'll keep your secret." Tobey kisses her cheek a few times and promises him that she will be okay, they part ways, Y/N coming back where she was.

•••

"You look serious... Are you okay?" Leah whispered on Y/N's lips, hugging her by her waist.

Y/N nods, intertwined her hands on Leah's neck.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I'm fine." She kissed her lips repeatedly, enjoying how Leah left a whimper when she stopped.

They both are outside of the changing room, hiding in a secluded area. Y/N was learning her back on the wall while Leah was in front of her. The party inside of the changing room can be heard while the girls are chatting, screaming or chanting.

The blonde, who is a little taller than her girlfriend, directed her lips to her forehead and remained there for a few long seconds. She knew that Y/N was lying but stayed quiet, not wanting to press.

"Okay, something happened." Y/N said lowly. She hugged her more, hiding her head between her chest and neck, quitting off her arms around her neck to replace them on her waist.

Leah hummed, indicating she is paying attention.

"The person that I saw before was Toby." She started. Leah knew who Toby was, never met him but knew who he was. "He was here with a friend. But it's for another reason that I feel bad..."

"What is it?" Leah asks kindly, passing her right hand on Y/N's back, up and down while she occasionally lets a kiss on her head.

"It's my sister. She is in town, she called before. I told her that I can't meet her tonight and neither Toby, I hope she is with some friends right now..." Y/N explained still in the same tone of voice.

Leah smiles sadly. "I told you before that it was okay if you can't come tonight." She said, imitating her tone.

"I know. And just for that I didn't tell you. It's been a long time since you've been begging me to come to a game and when I can come, my sister that I barely see calls to meet me..." Y/N trailed off, letting out a big sigh. She started how her eyes were watering, the stress showing up.

"Shhh... I could understand the reason, baby. And I'm sure your sister isn't mad at you. She understands too that you have a life apart from her." Leah tried her best to cheer her up, feeling a little bad herself that the two couldn't meet but she covered it quickly, not wanting that Y/N notice it and felt worse.

The first tears started to fall, and quickly Y/N brought her hand to wipe it fast, feeling a fool. Leah noticed it and separating a little, she brought both hands in Y/N face and wiped her tears with her thumbs.

"You still can see her. How many is she staying this time?" The defender asks, trying to find a solution.

Y/N thought for a moment, focusing her eyes on Leah's. "She told me that she will be staying for two weeks."

"See. You can call her and tell her that you will meet her tomorrow." Leah proposed, leaning her head aside.

"I thought that I could surprise her by going to Oxford. It's been a while since I've seen my parents, Bella and Raffie too, and she travels over there tomorrow with my brother." Y/N looks closely at Leah's reaction at her idea.

For her relief, the blonde let out a toothy smile; "I think it is a fantastic idea." She reassured her to add quickly. "Wait, I love the idea of you spending time with your family... But I'm going to miss you a lot, what am I supposed to do?" Soon her toothy smile was replaced by a pout.

Y/N bites her lower lip, not hiding the smile creeping on her lips. "You can meet Alex, your family, your Arsenal teammates..." She countered, raising her hand up and showing a new finger every time she said a name.

Leah rolled her eyes, bringing down her hand and intertwining it with hers.

"I'll give you two days." Leah shut Y/N's protest with a kiss.

•••

"Do you have everything?" The blonde asked in the entry of Y/N's room, leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossing about her chest, looking carefully at how the other girl put on her shoes.

Y/N raised her head to look at her and smiling she nodded, standing up once she put on her shoes and going to where Leah is. She wrapped her arms in Leah's midsection and gave her an eskimo kiss making the other chuckle but still in the same position.

"Finally I put out that long face." Y/N teased.

The defender rolled her eyes. "Shut up." She muttered, now hugging her by her waist, locking her hands there.

Leah stayed that night after celebrating with her teammates, opting to go a little before and pass time with her girlfriend before she goes to Oxford.

"Are you staying in your apartment or with your mum?" Y/N asked, raising her right hand to Leah's neck and playing with her baby hairs.

Leah's muscles relaxed immediately. "With my mum. Maybe tonight I will pass the night with Alex. I'll let you know." She answered groggily, her voice raspy and a little broken from the previous night.

Y/N knew that Leah doesn't like to be alone if she feels sad, so hearing that she will be accompanied these days, made her happy.

Looking at the clock briefly, she said; "I need to go..." Y/N whispered, biting her lip.

The blonde let her head on her left shoulder, letting out a defeated sigh. "A little more, please." She said, closing her eyes.

"I hate to say it but if I stay, I will lose the train." Y/N said, sighing softly.

Leah grunted.

"Alright, you're free to go." Leah huffed, coming back to the last position, looking at her.

Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Baby... Don't be mad please." She begged, kissing Leah's cheek repeatedly.

"Sorry..." The blonde muttered, feeling bad already.

"I'll let you know when I arrive at the station and Oxford." Y/N downplayed it and let her know, going to grab her suitcase.

"Okay. Be careful and enjoy your time with them. Anything you need, call me. No matter the time. I love you." Leah said honestly, grabbing her face and giving her a long kiss.

"Same here. Love you too." Y/N reciprocated the kiss and with another trail of kisses, she left her apartment.

•••

The way to Oxford consisted of talking with her father to go for her and saying that he can't say anything to anyone, less to Flo.

Send text messages to her boss to thank them for giving her some free days.

And promising Leah that when she comes back, she would do anything that the blonde wants to do.

For her luck, the trip wasn't too long and soon was there, receiving a call from her father telling her that he was already there, waiting for her.

"There you are!" Y/N's father greeted her when he saw his daughter, smiling from ear to ear when saw her.

"Hey, dad! I missed you." The girl said, letting her father engulf her in a big hug.

"Me too. It's not the same now the house without you all." He said, separating from the hug, grabbing her suitcase and passing an arm around her shoulder, side hugging her while they started to walk towards his car.

"Well, Raffie still lives with you two." Y/N point out.

"Yeah, yeah. But still, the scream for little things is something that we miss. Never thought I said that." He admitted, laughing briefly.

Y/N smiled nostalgic.

"I guess you have some days with that thing. Enjoy it." Y/N said, chuckling when her father made a grimace.

Once they were in the car, Y/N sent a text at Leah, letting her know that she is in Oxford and with her dad.

"How's the bar going?" Y/N asked him, putting down her phone.

"The same. I'm doing some research to find new waiters or waitresses. Are you interested?" He asked hopefully.

Y/N laugh. "Nice try, dad. But I'm good in London."

They chatted a little more and soon they arrived. He parked the car in front of the garage, the snowy pavement gave her a welcome. She missed her days here, the snowy days where she and her siblings would be outside all day until some of parents called them to get inside.

She noticed the ambiance from outside. Like the old days, the house looked the same as the familiar presence.

"Let's go, kiddo. It's freezing outside." Her father urged her.

"I guess the old habits never change." Y/N teased her father, who never liked the cold.

Before her father opened the door, he stopped and turned to look at her.

"Do you want to enter first?" He questioned, his hand on the knob.

"I prefer to go behind you. Give them the full surprise." She informed, hugging herself from the cold.

"Alright." He said and by opening the front door, he walked inside. When she entered inside was met by loud chatting and laughing. It warmed Y/N's heart to hear them this happy.

"I'm here!" Her father said loudly, letting them know. He quit his jacket and put it on the coat stand.

"Finally! Where are you?" Her mother said from the dining room, where probably all of them was there.

"Doing some errands." He informed quickly, walking once that Y/N quit off her jacket.

"What errands?" She asked again.

They approached the dining room and Y/N put herself on her father's back, trying no one to see her.

"Something that you will like." He said confidently.

Her mother snorted.

"What is it dad?" Raffie asked curious, sitting on the floor.

"I think I know what it is." Toby sang, smirking triumphant. All of them look at him, curious and confused. His father wink at him.

"Of course. Little Toby knows what it is." Florence teases him.

Y/N put herself nervous when she heard her twin sister's voice. It's been a long time since she didn't see her.

And then, she decided it was time for her.

"It can't be a reunion familiar if there was missing one person." Y/N said coming out from her spot. She saw how all of them let out exclamative expressions.

The first person to go towards her was Flo, who ran and threw herself in Y/N's arms, squealing. Raffie threw herself towards them too, hugging both of them.

"Oh my god! Are you kidding me?" Flo separates from her a moment to look at her face and once again hug her sister.

"I can't breathe." Y/N said in a muffled voice. She was soon released from Flo's grip, Raffie remaining an arm around her sister.

Y/N felt relieved when the air hit her lungs again. She saw how Bella and her mom walked towards her with big smiles.

"My baby." Her mom said affectionately, bringing her face between her hands and kissing her cheek repeatedly.

"Hey! What about us?" Raffie said indignant, quitting off her arm while crossing her arms.

"Yeah, mum. I'm your baby too!" Florence whined, throwing herself between the hugs.

"Where is my niece?" Y/N asked Arabella, wanting to change the subject quickly because she knew what would happen.

Bella pointed with a finger at a spot where a buggy is. She walked slowly there and saw a little form sleeping peacefully. In the midway over there, she embraced her older sister.

"She would meet the whole family this time." Bella whispered while looking at her baby.

Someone hugged Y/N from behind and lifted her up.

"I swear to god if you don't stop doing that, I will kick your ass." Y/N threatens her brother, knowing that Toby is doing that.

Toby chuckled like a child but put her down.

"I can't resist it. You're easy to piss." He said, copying Raffie's gesture and leaving his arm around her shoulders.

The rest of the day was passing while they were all caught about their lives. At some point, Y/N was feeling sad. They all seemed to be happy while sharing their happy memories and Y/N has happy memories that not involved her girlfriend, but less because she is in the major part of it.

So, she excused herself and went to the kitchen, sitting in the chair that accompanied the small table there. She puts her elbows on the table, playing with the long sleeves fluffy beige jersey that she is wearing and lets her rest her head, closing her eyes.

"Your siblings are going to go outside, they asked me to tell you. They're waiting for you." Her mother interrupted in the kitchen. Her voice was kind, maybe she noticed that Y/N wasn't feeling good. "You're here for about ten minutes, honey. Everything okay?" She approached her slowly, taking the seat next to her.

"No." Y/N was tired of lying about how she emotionally is feeling. Her voice sounded weak, almost indicating that soon she would cry.

"What happened?" Her mother asked, concerned. She brought a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm tired, mum." Y/N said, bringing her red eyes to look at her mother, biting her lower lip with force to prevent the first sobs.

"About what?" She asked a little scared, after all, is not always when you saw one of your children in this state.

"About everything." Y/N started, letting the first tears come out, this time she doesn't wipe them. Then, she threw herself between her mother's arms, who caught her and hugged her protectively, caressing with a hand her head, brushing with her fingers Y/N's hair. "I want to be normal. I don't want the attention. I want to h-hold my girlfriend's hand without s-someone pointing at it. That you all s-spend time with her." She ranted, letting out how she is feeling, without realising that she admitted being with someone.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know that you were feeling pressured." She said, feeling sad about finding it while her daughter can't hold it anymore. She also wanted to ask about this girl, feeling that it is a delicate subject right now. "Since when are you feeling this way?"

"Since Flo started to get more attention. It's not always, but there are days where I can't with it and I hate being her sister. I guess I'm lucky that I don't look a lot physically like her, so it would be worse." Y/N let her angrier thoughts out, blaming her sister for something that she can't control, even if Y/N knew that.

Her mother let sink it, processing what she said and searching for the right words. "You should talk about this with us sooner, sweetie. We can't help if you don't say anything. And just to clarify and I know you knew it but I need to tell it. Your sister doesn't have the same fault that people wanted to know all about her in every moment. This is the consequence for doing what she most loves. So, please, go to therapy, talk with us, more importantly, talk with your sister... Talk with someone, you don't need to carry it on while you feel and shut up about it." Her mother tried to say it with the most caring and love she felt for her daughter, holding her own tears.

"Y/N, let's go! We want to go to gr-... What happens?" Raffie's cheerful voice comes to a change when saw the situation. She freezes on the entry, looking static how her sister tries to hide her sobs, failing.

"It's nothing, Raffie. Go with your siblings, your sister will accompany you all later." Their mother said firm, not letting her ask more questions.

"But mom..." Raffie started to say but shut up when saw her teary but firm eyes from her mother. She walked towards them and kissed Y/N's head, just like she did on a few occasions in the past with her, she walked outside again.

To Raffie's gesture, Y/N gets more emotional.

They are like that for a good amount of time, until Y/N stops crying and gets more relaxed. Her mother decided to make hot chocolate, knowing that it could bring some happiness into Y/N's body, since it is her favourite.

"Can I ask you something?" Her mother said, searching for the milk.

Y/N bites her lower lip, sensing what it is.

"Yes, of course." She said in a raspy voice, clearing her throat later.

"How many are you with this girlfriend?" She asked in a protective tone, earning a snort from Y/N.

"Mum, please. I'm 27 years old." She said, smirking when her mother gave her an offended look.

"I don't care. You are my baby. Wait until your father finds out." Her mother said, turning on to prepare the hot chocolate.

Y/N chuckles. She can feel her eyes heavy, but right now she doesn't care.

"About seven months." She admitted, counting it on her head while looking at the ceiling, confirming it nodding with her head to herself

"Excuse me?!" Her mother turned on to look at her scandalised. Y/N blushed. "That's a lot."

"I know... Sorry." She apologized.

"I want to know everything about this girl." Her mother said while putting the hot cup with chocolate in front of her, taking the same seat next to her.

•••

"Where are you all?" Y/N asked Raffie once she answered her call.

"We are in Nana house. Later we will go to the supermarket. Are you coming?" Raffie informed, changing her tone when she asked, choosing for one of worry and hope.

"I'm on my way. Dad gave me his car keys, so in about ten minutes I'm over there." Y/N explained, getting in the car.

"Okay. Nana said be careful and can't wait to see you." Y/N at this, hearing how their nana was speaking from behind.

They hung up and Y/N started the car, putting direction towards Nana's house. The sun was hiding fastly while she drove, making the snow place more cold without it.

After spending an hour in her Nana's house, where she can't stop smiling about her grandmother's behaviour, they all decided to go to the supermarket before it closed.

"Mum, we are here!" Toby shouted out, earning a bad look from their older sister, who stayed there to take care of her newborn. "Sorry, I forget." He gave her an apologetic smile while walking fast to the kitchen to let her bags there.

"Hey, Flo. Do you want to cook with me?" Y/N asked her sister, who walked behind her. She looked at her and saw how Flo's smile was on display.

"Of course. We need to feed these children." She said excitedly, running to prepare the things.

Y/N chuckled to her antics.

"I'm not a child." Raffie complained, entering the kitchen. Florence and Y/N look at each other, smiling knowingly.

"It would only say someone who is a child." Toby said, running outside when Raffie tried to chase him, the mentioned running behind.

"These two..." Flo giggled.

They decided to make a light and not complicated dinner. They put on some low music and cooked to the tune, the silence between them making Y/N think about her problems. Choosing to share it with her, she cleared her throat.

"Flo?" She called her. Her sister hummed, letting her know that she is listening.

"I need to tell you something." Y/N said nervously, mixing the right ingredients together, removing it with a spoon.

"I'm listening." She said kindly. Y/N can feel her eyes on her back, but she decided to stay in that position, knowing if she turned, she could say anything.

"Yesterday, when you called, I told you that I had plans. Well, it's true. But this plan wasn't any plans. I can't meet you because I told my girlfriend that I would go to her game. You know? I didn't tell you before because I didn't want anyone to find out. Even my family. I wanted to be selfish and keep it to myself. I hated you because for your fault, or that was a thought, I needed to blame someone and it was you, because I'm Florence Pugh's sister. And then, I fell in love with a professional footballer that day by day, she is earning more attention. I know it's not your fault, or Leah's. But I guess for me, you were the villain and not the noisy people who wanted to know everything about the famous person's relatives." Y/N finished said. To her surprise, the nervousness got away during her explanation.

She felt how Flo wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. "Now I have a reason for why you can't do anything with me in the past. When I called you and you told me that you can't, that you have a lot of work to do. Or when we meet but you hold yourself. I know in some part of me, that I made something to you, something bad. I'm thankful that you share it with me now." Florence said, her voice full of emotion. This time Y/N turned on her arms and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Flossie. You don't do anything bad. It's me. You know I'm special in the emotional department." The last comment made her sister laugh.

"Talk to me about Leah." Florence said kindly, seeing Y/N's face illuminated at the mention of Leah.

"Well. I met Leah about a year ago. We got together to the end from last summer. She approached me in a club, at first I didn't pay her much attention, thinking maybe recognized me and wanted to meet you instead. But she is stubborn, you know? About the third month of knowing each other, I told her who you are. And to my surprise she told who she is. I didn't know who she actually was. From the start of our relationship we agreed to keep it private, not passing much time together on full streets or if I'm going to a match not hugging her too much time... To the point where I don't let her meet you all." Y/N said, looking with a dreamy look on her eyes the almost ready dinner. Florence finished her part and was standing beside her, looking at her closely. "I met her family. And I'll go to some of their barbecues or parties. At some point I zoned out and I imagine how it could be with Leah with you all..." Y/N trailed off, grabbing the plates.

"Is the dinner ready?" Toby entered the kitchen touching his tummy. "I'm hungry."

Flo stayed silent looking at her sister, processing everything she told her. Toby noticed it and looked at them confused.

"Take the cutlery, teletubbie." Y/N said calmly, turning around to see him. She saw how he rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

Before he exits from the kitchen, turns around again and looks at Y/N; "Your phone didn't stop to sound." Then, he got out.

Y/N frowns, walking behind him taking other things that they will need for dinner. She took off the charger and unblocked it, finding a lot of messages from Leah.

The blonde sent her a photo of her and Alex, making Y/N smiled like a fool reading the texts Leah sent her.

Florence came out from the kitchen to the dining room and noticed how the smile was bigger each second. She took a note mentally to do a thing and hoped that her sister doesn't get mad at her.

•••

Leah turned on her bed once again, letting out a tired sigh. She hates that she is tired but can't sleep.

And it didn't help that incoming notification sound at this time. Leah turned in the darkness and looked for her phone. It's weird. She saw it was from an unknown number.

It was 02:07 a.m. making it more weird. Who was texting her at this hour?

She unblocked her phone and pressed on the chat, starting to read the long text.

Unknown

Hello! I'm Florence, Y/N's twin sister. Sorry for the hour but I was thinking about it since I spoke with my sister. She told me about you and I can't wait to meet you. I know you are a professional footballer and I understand if you can't come anytime soon, but if you can come to Oxford tomorrow and give Y/N a surprise, I will always be grateful to you. Let me know if you can come :)

Goodnight xx.

Leah can't avoid smiling at this. She re-read it, and typing something quickly, she let herself sleep immediately.

•••

When Y/N woke up the next day, she was surprised to not find her sister sleeping there. Usually when Flo has free time for herself, she oversleeps, but this time, she was up.

She gets ready quickly and after going to the bathroom, -she hears quiet voices directed from the kitchen, but she doesn't pay much attention- Y/N walked slowly towards there while reading some texts from some friends and Leah.

"Good morning." Y/N greeted without looking up, going to the fridge still with her phone in her hand.

The silence after Y/N enter was epic. Flo bites her lower lip to hold a laugh while her parents, who were sitting with their coffee cups, look at each other.

"Good morning." Said her sister, looking at the guest person, who was looking at Y/N funnily.

"Good morning, honey." Their parents said at the unison. Y/N still doesn't look up. She was in her little world preparing her breakfast.

"Don't worry about making your coffee, I brought your favourite." At the new voice Y/N freezes on the spot, not believing.

Y/N turned on the spot slowly, meeting the blue eyes that she loves.

"What are you doing here?" She said really surprised, seeing how Leah was waving at her with a latte cup, a shy smile playing on her lips.

Leah shrugged. "I came to meet your family. I heard that your mom wanted to know me."

Y/N looked at her mom; "Don't look at me! I didn't contact her. But yeah, I want to meet the person who makes you happy." Her mother said sincerely, looking with enthusiasm at Leah.

"It was me." Florence said, covering her face with a hand, like a child.

"How?" Y/N asked, going to where Leah is and giving her a kiss on her cheek. She wanted to give her a proper kiss, but she was in front of her parents.

"Your phone." Florence simply said, shrugging smiling while she saw the little gesture.

"Okay..." Y/N frowns, confused. "But how is she coming so fast?" She asked rhetorically.

"Well... I can't sleep. So I decided to drive towards here." Leah explained.

"Why so enthusiastic this morning?" Raffie came inside, looking at everyone there until her eyes fell in Leah. Her reaction was funny, she first frowned until her eyes started to open so much. "YOU'RE LEAH WILLIAMSON! WHY ARE YOU ON MY HOUSE?" She yells, pointing with her index finger at Leah.

"Shh. Raffie be more careful. Your niece and siblings are still sleeping." Her mother scolds her daughter with a funny look.

"Do you know Leah?" Florence and Y/N asked at the same time, making the twins smile at each other.

"Yeah! She is a fashion icon. Well, I know you're a professional footballer, but I follow you because I really love your style." Raffie explained, sitting in front of Leah and Y/N.

Leah smiles embarrassed, her cheeks turning red. "Thank you." She said lowly.

"You're welcome." Raffie said smirking. "But why are you here?"

The blonde looked at Y/N. "Well... I'm Y/N's girlfriend." She said timidly, seeing how the mention looks briefly down biting a smile.

"No way! Leah Williamson is my sister-in-law? Awesome." Raffie immediately approves of their relationship.

For Y/N it means a lot.

She is grateful that Florence paid attention when she told her about her scenario dream. Y/N and Flo shared a look, and they communicated with a simple look. Florence just nodded lightly, knowing what her sister was saying with that look.

"I hope it is okay that I came." Leah whispered in a moment where everyone there was distracted.

Y/N look at her with a love sick smile. "You don't know how it makes me happy that you're here."

Leah copied her smile and leaned to kiss her cheek.

[thesassypadawan]

Come Clean (Hayden x FemReader)

Summary: You finally get to go along with Hayden to a con!  And you, being the little dork you are, insist on getting a pic with your bf…just like everyone else!  Everything is going smoothly, but this one sleemo in line just won’t leave you alone.  It’s almost like they know about what’s going on between you two.

Warnings: None, just pure fluff. 

Notes: A little something for @jediskywalkerblog!  I really enjoyed writing this, made me feel all warm and giggly!  Hope you like it! ❤️

- What would happen the day the rest of the world finds out about you two? The day you finally come clean.

- In the back of your mind, the thought was always there. Normally you wouldn’t pay much attention to it. Since you both are so careful and keep such a low profile. But on a day like this one…when you’re literally surrounded by his fans. Well, it was kind of hard to ignore.

- To be fair, this was, mostly, your idea. You’ve wanted to go along with Hayden to a con for a while, because you’re so proud of him and, dammit, you support your man. But now that you’re here, seeing all these people, you can’t help feeling a tiny bit nervous. Maybe you should have stayed behind the scenes, instead of insisting on getting a photo with him like everyone else.

- As if on cue, the sound of Lord Vader’s breathing comes floating from his hoodie, that you ‘borrowed’, pocket. ‘Wonder who that could be,’ you joke to yourself while fumbling with your phone.

- Sure enough, it was a text from…

♡Big Dork♡: Have I told you how good your butt looks in those leggings? 😘

- Smiling, you discreetly glance over your shoulder. Hay was, of course, not standing there; only a wall of privacy curtains. But the longer you stare at it, you notice someone looking back at you through the crack.

- Shaking your head, you turn your attention back to your screen…

♡Little Dork♡: Shouldn’t you be taking pics with all these nice folks right now, instead of checking out my ass? 🤣

- Lord Vader breathes again…

♡Big Dork♡: I stepped out for a moment to enjoy the view. 😘 And to check up on you. Still doing okay? ❤️

- You give a small nod for him to see…

♡Little Dork♡: Yep. Now get back out here so I can get my turn with you. 🥰

- More breathing…

♡Big Dork♡: Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of time for that later. 😉

- You roll your eyes and lock your phone. But, when you do so, you’re met by yours and the person behind you in line’s reflection.

- It was clear that they were reading your whole conversation with Hayden. Not wanting to make it into a big thing, you quickly shove it back into your pocket. Trying to act like you didn’t even notice.

- No such luck. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” they try to fakely apologize. “I hope you don’t think I was prying. I was only checking the ti-”

- Thankfully that’s when Hay stepped back out. The clapter and cheering of the crowd cut the sleemo short, ending the very uncomfortable chat. Or at least that’s what you hope.

- Spotting you, Hay instantly flashes you a smile. Which you, naturally, return.

- You don’t think much of it, but the sleemo certainly does. “Seems like Hayden and you are pretty friendly.”

- Your back stiffens. ‘Kriff! Kriff! Kriff!’ And you keep you eyes forward as you calmly reply. “Sorry, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

- “No?” The sleemo persists. “You smiled at each other just now. Could you possibly be-”

- “Next person, please!”

- Perfect timing. Refusing to let them ruin this special moment, you brush the sleemo off and go walking up to Hay.

- You two exchange mock pleasantries and pose for the camera all cutely (but not too cutely). Nice and smooth and totally discreet. Well, it was, until you turn to leave…

- “It was nice to meet you, angel. I hope to see you again real soon.” Hayden, out of habit, gives your bum a tap.

- You pause for a second. ‘Did he?! Really?! REALLY?!’ Then as quickly and nonchalantly as you can manage, you get the hell out of there. Praying that no one saw that.

- Pretending to act all nice, the sleemo follows you. “Miss! Excuse me, miss! You forgot your photo!”

- Trying your best to ignore them, you continue to weave through the crowd. Moving closer to the restricted access area. The one that Hay told you to go to if anything happened, that you’ll be safe there. ‘Come on! Come on! COME ON!’

- You almost make it too; the goal is just barely in sight. But as you’re fishing out your special pass, a hand grabs you by the shoulder. “I’m talking to you, little miss Hayden’s secret girlfriend!”

- Completely freezing up. You frantically think of what to do next when…

- “Hey! Take your hands off her!” Hay comes bursting out from behind the curtains, the most pissed off you’ve ever seen him. Like literal full blown Vader mode.

- The sleemo immediately lets you go, and you run over to him. “Hay!”

- Burying your face into his chest, he wraps his arms around you tightly. “It’s okay. I got you, angel,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head.

- “So she is your girlfriend!” The sleemo, who was paparazzi all along, shouts as security begins to surround them.

- By now a crowd has gathered. It’s almost deadly silent as they all wait to hear his answer.

- Gazing down, he flashes you a quick grin. “Yeah, she is! Happiest I’ve been in years!”

- “Me too,” you grin back. Standing on your tip toes, you capture his lips in a tender kiss.

- A beat more of silence…before it explodes in cheers and applause.

- “Guess it’s no longer a secret,” you giggle.

- “Yeah,” he chuckles. “Sorry.”

- “Don’t be, it’s nice to finally come clean about it.”

[weebsinstash]

Ok but fuck the people who mentioned abo stuff and omega Miguel to me specifically because I'm over here trying to think of-of- of other ideas that have some meat in them and now I'm just thinking about him becoming absolutely baby crazy in the freaky primal way only omegaverse shit can provide

-normal ass Reader meeting ABO people in the Spider Society and you have no idea what the actual hell any of them are talking about half the time but wouldn't it suck if you still felt some sort of effects from them and affected them too. But. Alpha Miguel obviously 🤌 somehow you make him purr however briefly bc he'd probably get embarrassed and be a dork but you just hear that motor kick in and it's like '👀 oh yall ain't HUMAN human? Idk that's kinda scary but... hot too'. Next thing you know you're finding out about Alphas having knots and you're having inappropriate thoughts about your boss. Also, what if scenting isn't just rubbing necks and such, what if it could be done from smaller touches too, so, suddenly you're sitting there "oh was he scenting me when he touched me on the shoulder" and you may or may not remember how people would often be nervous or avoid you on those days, or be polite but servile, one could day non-threatening, no competition

Alpha Miguel hearing you don't want kids like "I can fix them uwu". One day you realize "oh is he like, courting me" and you're confronted with the terrifying mortality of "holy shit does he want to date/have babies, idk if im ready for something that serious 😳" and also just, him having all these biological advantages over you like he eventually figures out how to tell your emotions by your scent and things like that, you hug the wrong person and suddenly he's in a foul mood and "wanting to speak to them" because their scent transferred onto you

-normal Miguel finding out about an Omega Reader and "no, I'm just studying them for science though--" *suddenly has terabytes of notes about you, your biological aspects, info from your home dimension about Omegas, plenty of personally written 'research notes'* he's just utterly obsessed and fascinated. He learns you're just basically a guaranteed baby machine amd suddenly he's astral projecting himself into another reality, man reads a factoid on how Omega typically have 3 or even more babies and he's sitting there thinking about the two of you with four daughters. Maaaaybe one son but, he loves the idea of all girls, he's just baby crazy for a daughter specifically and he's like "but wait, I could have multiple". But papi, four quinces sounds expensive lmao, lucky he's got that CEO money

-But of course, I'm growing especially fonder of female Alpha Reader and Omega Miguel and like. You're both kind of socially awkward and feel 'out of place', and being atrracted to each other is weird because you both lowkey hate yourselves and aren't sure how you two would work out. What does it mean for you to be an Alpha? Isn't he more dominant than you? Should he... act more submsisive towards you, like, you're both so confused and not sure how to act and also kind of being social recluses. One day you have your whole aha moment where you realize it's kind of a perspective thing and suddenly you cant thinking about him holding a chunky little newborn or having a tea party with his daughters and how, oh wouldn't he be so cute with a baby on his hip

Alpha Reader "I want to see him holding my babies and i wanna love n support him" vs Omega Miguel "I want to cuddle and kiss her while she carries our babies and protect her and love her 🥰" like fjfjff the nuance is THERE

-then there's the juicy idea or "alpha Miguel from a dimension without really any Omegas meeting an Omega Reader for the first time" and he's just kind of head over heels for you (and so is everyone else really). He starts realizing how powerful your "abilities" are when one day you're called into his office to see him throwing things around and shouting about "another hole in the multiverse" and Peter B is like silently begging for you to try and calm him down and you just. Panic and hug him! And you're hugging him and he can get a whiff of your scent and you hit him with the boo boo eyes "It'll be ok, please don't be so stressed 🥺 I'm sure we can figure something out. You're strong, you'll get through this"

Peter B and Jess just like exchanging knowing glances as you get him to settle into a chair and he's still grumbling and irritated but like significantly calmer now and you're just rubbing his shoulders and offering to get him a coffee and giving him a little pep talk amd being very, you know, gentle and nurturing :) totally disarms him and calms him right down, he goes from a red faced screaming mess to purring in a chair as you force idle chit chat about "are you hungry? When did you eat last? Or sleep?" And suddenly he's imagining being at the breakfast table with you and the pups he can easily see you two having together and from then on, Peter B knows to keep you nearby at all times to help calm the big bad Alpha down next time he's about to get an ulcer from stress

[prettiestgrlinthemorguexo]

Swipe (Lucifer Morningstar x reader) Preview

This is a preview of my WIP fanfic for Lucifer, it’s a three parter and this is a small about of part 1, since it’s still a WIP it’s not yet proof read :) Description: after his divorce, he finally gets back into the dating game…through a dating app :)

Please note I’m writing this before the release of ep7 and ep8 so- 

Takes place between ep 5 and right before ep 6 

I wrote nearly 98% of this at like 3 AM-

 Warning: Lucifer being a dork, Lucifer being a dorky dad, age gap(reader died at like 25 and Lucifer is like a good few thousands years old so), talk of divorce, Charlie being a supportive daughter, I’ve never used a dating apps so i might get info wrong, Lucifer doesn’t know modern day technology or slang, lying

⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧ ⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧

Lucifer’s POV

“Charlie, are you sure about this?” I ask still hesitant, I knew Charlie just wanted to help and had the best intentions, but a dating app?  “Of course!” Charlie exclaimed, face lite up. “It’s perfect! You get to meet people without the face to face interactions!” Charlie said downloading the app, viva by Voxtech.

Charlie’s was more excited than I was, I wanted to meet people but an app? I can’t help but feel my heart race and my body get heavy, why was I this nervous. In the middle of my overthinking Charlie handed me the phone, it had a profile made it had my name and many details. It felt like I was giving it to all 9 rings of hell! “Ok! How we gotta add some photos an-“ 

“Charlie!” 

We both turned are head to see Alastor and Vaggie standing there. “Can you help with something real quick?” Vaggie ask seeming annoyed. “Of course!” Charlie’s called back before as standing up. “You go ahead and add those photos dad I’ll be back!” Charlie said as she ran to the two, leaving me alone on the couch staring at the screen. 

I read over the info and it all was so…personal. How would anyone be comfortable putting this much out? I Don’t get me started with being the King of Hell it’s self, then an idea popped in my head. I turn my head slightly to see Charlie still talking to the pair so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I added photos of my duck inventions and made a duck with a white top hat as my ‘icon’. Now onto the name, Lucifer was too out there everyone would know, think! L names that are similar.

Lucifer..

Luci…

Luc…

Luca..

Luca! I instantly think changing the name quickly, removing the last name from the profile along with it. After that it looked like a normal profile. When I finished and satisfied with it Charlie was walking back over. “Sorry bout that dad! Now back to w-.” While she was speaking I shove my phone in my pocket and stand up. “No it’s fine! I set it up!” I nearly screamed it out as I stood from the couch. Charlie stared at me shock for a moment before her normal bright smile returned to her face. “Wow that’s great!” She said as she walked over “Look at you getting the hang of technology!” Charlie said happily. I didn’t know why I was so nervous by an app, but it was on my mind. After finishing talking to Charlie I was able to leave, soon I was back in my bedroom. I let out a sigh and feel onto the massive bed and pulled out my phone, Viva still open.

Y/N POV

Left..Left..Left..

God this app was a never ending app of swiping left on people wanting hook-ups was tiring. This was the last time I’d take F/N  advice and use a dating app, the fact they exist in hell was already surprising. It was nude after nude of people looking for a hookup. Then something different popped up, instead of the naked body I almost have gotten used to, I was greeted by a rubber duck with a white top hat. My eyes widen a bit as I layed there I swipped to look at the second photo, more ducks. I then moved and read the bio. “Luca..” I said quietly to myself reading the short info. I looked at the photos and the bio, it stood out in the sea of profile, i stair a while longer…

…Right. 

[goddessofwaifus]

Honestly, how shinichiro managed to worm his way into my heart still surprises me...

He deserves love too! Nobody is "normal" by any standard so how does such a cute weirdo like him get rejected 20 times?! Whatever if none of the girls who rejected him want him, I guess that means no competition for being his one and only 😏 This one is for my shinichiro lovers!!! He may be a loser but he can get a w while being a lovable dork. If takemichi can get bitches, then it shouldn't be out of the question that the same can apply for Shin!

Premise- You're walking in the usual crowded halls and there you bump into the boy who every girl gossips about at school. He's weird, he doesn't know how to talk to women, he's been rejected 20 times... Wait what? How does that happen?!

The only real thing I should note for this little fic is that you and Wakasa are familiar with one another. The relationship can be familial or platonic. Might give some background in a follow up part if anyone is interested in exploring that aspect in detail. Reader,as usual,is gender neutral for inclusion of all who read.

Lose to win

Shinichiro Sano x Reader

How many dates would you go on with this guy? Honest answer for the shinichiro simps out there, I know you're out there!

Personally, I'd go on however many dates he wants. If none of those girls want him, I'll take him myself 🙄 their loss

Honestly school is shit. Especially when you're the subject of gossip and your friends have better luck with pulling than you. That was the case for Shinichiro Sano. Poor guy had been rejected 20 times, he was about ready to give up and just fully dedicate himself to the gang life with his love for bikes. Walking down the hall with him were his friends Wakasa Imaushi, Takeomi Akashi, and Keizo Arashi (Benkei).

"Honestly Shin, I'm starting to worry about ya bud. You are just woman repellant, I feel so sorry for you."

"Maybe his charisma just doesn't work on girls? You really need to stop letting your intrusive thoughts win, man... Girls avoid you like the plague and I don't need you scarin' off the bad bitch I snagged this week..."

"You'll find someone eventually. Girls are picky. If it doesn't work out, who knows? Maybe datin' ain't it for you. If not, you got us! We can go out and kick some ass! Cheer up man!"

Shinichiro gave a small smile to Benkei 's attempt to lighten the mood. He gave a frown to Waka and Takeomi, feeling the white-haired boy give him a light punch to his arm with a chuckle. Some friends they are, he joked until he felt an impact with his chest that prompted him to stop with his friends pausing as well. You had bumped into him on your way to class and bowed your head, embarrassed for getting in his way.

"Sorry... I wasn't watching where I was going. I didn't mean to bump into you! I'll get out of your way... Sorry for the inconvenience. I'll-"

"No no you're fine! This hallway is pretty crowded so it was inevitable for this to happen."

Shinichiro laughed, rubbing the back of his neck while his friends looked down at you. You were going to move aside and continue your trip to your classroom when Wakasa spoke to you.

"Yo y/n, before we let you go off to class, I got a question for ya. You got a type?"

The question was completely out of left field so it flustered you a bit. What kind of question was that? Wakasa is prone to asking odd questions, sometimes to perform his own personal social experiments among other students or simply for his own personal reasons. Maybe to try and see what kind of person they are? You'll never know, Waka has always been aloof and a bit mysterious in your time of knowing him. You shrug and figure maybe this was a test of his, so you'll bite.

"In partners? I guess it doesn't really matter as long as they're not an absolute dickhead or douchebag just looking for some ass. I can't stand people like that..."

You trailed off as you had glanced up at Shinichiro who looked like he wanted to be swallowed up by the floor beneath him. You slowly put the pieces together as you remembered overhearing girls giggling and laughing or gagging in over exaggerated disgust about some boy named Shinichiro who had supposedly asked them out, but they either blew him off or he somehow screwed up his chance by saying something weird that creeped them out/ turned them off from pursuing anything with semblance to a date. You then glanced over to Wakasa as you were now curious to see where he was going with the question now answered.

"You've probably heard around the hallways, but this guy has had an unlucky streak with the ladies. Unlike everyone else, you're one of the nice ones here on campus. You can probably see where I'm going with this."

You nodded, looking back at the embarrassed delinquent busying his gaze with the floor to avoid looking at his friend who was smirking slightly at the response. A gentle tilt of the chin upwards was almost enough to put the boy into cardiac arrest as he instinctively swallowed against your hold. His charcoal eyes meet your (e/c) ones in hesitation,you can see the anxiety building behind them. He watched your lips as you spoke your next words, his ears at attention.

"Shinichiro Sano. 20 rejections? What did you do to scare them off?"

"Too honest and open."

"Speaks before he thinks."

"Being himself is apparently the worst advice to give him..."

You weren't expecting the three boys to list every fuck up the guy made for every girl he potentially had interest in. You almost felt bad for his string of bad luck, but you figured Waka chose you for the most obvious reason.

You didn't have the best track record with dating either. Although you don't like to admit it, you can sympathize with the guy. Girls, as a joke or genuinely, have warned/told you not to get involved with Shinichiro. Social suicide they said, you'll never be able to eat with the little friends or acquaintances you have due to associating with the weirdo, he's not worth it, and so many other disheartening things they spewed from their mouths.

Who were they to tell you not to give the guy a chance? Half of the girls spouting that crap are either dating his friends, fucking with them, or haven't gone out with the guy and are simply regurgitating what everyone else is saying so they don't get the side-eyed by the ones who started spreading the information around. Some say he's bad in bed, others say he's not loyal, one girl said she couldn't stand the smell of smoke from his cigarettes, another said he's impulsive, and so on. They all had something to say about him, never positive things. You would decide, not them. You had a mind of your own and you could tell a person's intentions based on their behavior.

So what if he's bad in bed? Sex ain't everything in a relationship after all.

Most of the girls couldn't say anything about being unfaithful to their lovers when the hypocrisy in their words couldn't have been any louder.

You honestly couldn't say anything about the cigarette smell, but he should quit while his lungs are still healthy and taking in oxygen as they should. The smell is an easy fix, just spritz cologne lightly and it should overpower the nicotine. Some girls don't mind the smell or taste.

As for the impulsive part, that comes with being a teenager. Hormones play a part as well as other factors. You were a bit impulsive yourself so maybe every now and then you say something wild or out of turn that would have the class eyeing you like hawks and wishing you could vanish right then and there in the moment. Perfectly natural for both men, women, and those in between. Nothing new, nothing bad.

Half of the things they listed weren't heinous or anything worth slandering his name for. If not to put these stupid rumors to rest, then just to satisfy your buzzing questions and learn more about the boy who supposedly repels girls away instead of attracting. You don't know what the fuss is about, he's a good looking guy and from the times you've passed by him and his friends, he's a pretty chill and easygoing person. He's never caused trouble, his grades are decent, has no problem with making friends, and you wouldn't assume he's the type of guy who goes around beating up other students to assert his dominance and show off his strength. Shinichiro Sano seems like your average guy who might,one day, work as a mechanic.

"You're L/n-san, right? Y/N? Y-you don't have to if you don't want to... I wouldn't want to waste your time or bring down your reputation by asking you out. I'd only cause problems for you and the guilt would eat at me..."

"What are you talking about? What reputation? I'm not losing anything from going out with you. If anything, I think I wanna be the first girl to ask you out for a date~ If that's alright with you."

You stopped his train of thought right then and there, a smile he swore took the breath from his lungs and made his heart thump hard enough to nearly trigger a panic in him. You asking him ,out of all the guys at school, on a date? He swears up and down his face has never been so hot and red like a cherry tomato before. The smugness of his best friends couldn't have been so loud and visible to the raven-haired delinquent.

It's a big deal because, while you aren't picky about who you date and go out with, you still have standards and on top of that, major trust issues as a result of relationships that have crashed and burned for many reasons you don't want to think about or remember right now.

"Is it cool if I join you guys for lunch period? For once, I don't wanna eat by myself like I usually do. Maybe I can also get to know the gossip topic himself better so I have a better read of him. I have a fairly good idea of who he is,but I wanna hear it from his mouth for myself."

"Y-yeah! It's perfectly fine for you to hang with us! T-the more the merrier right?"

He can't get any cuter or be more of a dork, you thought to yourself with a soft smile. The boys walked you to class and you breezed through most of the lectures with ease. Before you can even squeeze in a little nap, it's lunchtime and unlucky for you, you completely forgot to make yourself lunch this morning before you took off towards the school grounds. You sighed in disappointment,trudging to the roof as you also didn't have enough money for even a little snack to suffice. All you brought with you on the way up was your sketchbook for doodling while you ate, but maybe today was looking up for you.

"Hey. You made it...Did you forget to make yourself lunch before you went to bed again last night?"

The look on your face gave Wakasa his answer, he chuckled as Shinichiro had been telling Benkei that he was saving the extra bento he made to hopefully give to someone (preferably someone who was a good cook) as a taste tester for his cooking. Ever since his little brother and sister started teasing him about being a bad cook, he had become determined to improve his culinary skills in the kitchen to get his rotten little siblings off his back and prove he was a good cook. The lunch he made tasted fine to him, however a second opinion was needed due to his taste being an "unreliable source" to his siblings and grandfather. No more takeout, he would learn to cook for them. Plus, it makes good practice.

"Alright, what idea kept you up this time? I'm assumin' ya jotted it down in your handy sketchbook so let me have a look and see."

While Benkei was distracted by whatever you had stayed up late to work on instead of getting your precious sleep, Takeomi saw the extra lunch Shinichiro made as a perfect opening for the two of you. He nudged their leader and nodded his head over to you to signal him into seizing the golden opportunity to learn more about you. The messy haired bundle of nerves that was Shinichiro gave a subtle nod to his friend's encouragement, sighing deeply as Wakasa sat on one side of you and Benkei sat by Takeomi. You and Shinichiro were sat in the middle as the five of you sat against the fence walls along the school rooftop, Waka seeming to get the same idea that Takeomi had when he remembered the extra bento his friend was holding onto.

"Uh hey Y/n? So I've gotten into cooking recently on account of wanting to get better at it for my lil siblings and grandpa. S-since you forgot to make lunch for today, I figured maybe you could try the extra one I made and have that if you like it. If it's cool with you, I wanna see what you were working on last night too in exchange. If you're not cool with that, I'll still give you the lunch either way!"

You nodded, a bit nervous about showing him the doodles and pieces you scribbled away in the confines of your sketchbook, but you figured it wouldn't hurt for him to see. You didn't think you were the best artist and admittedly didn't think you were good at cooking to really be a good judge of taste testing. Wakasa would shut down any and all belittling of your skills, be your number one cheerleader, and encourage you to pursue your hobby. If you didn't think you were the best cook, shut up. How dare you call his friend a bad cook? He should have you cook something for him and he'll judge it for himself.

Shinichiro traded you the lunch for your sketchbook under the single condition that he didn't laugh and make fun of what you worked on until 2 in the morning before finally falling asleep upon satisfaction of your finished product. Let it be known that you rarely show anyone your work on account of being laughed at and/or bullied for the subject matter of your pieces. You were an anime fan, you liked to watch anime at night and often imagined scenarios between you and your favorite characters from the media, if inspiration struck (more often than not as you're getting ready to go to bed) you would draw said idea in your sketchbook, erasing and redrawing line after line until it looked exactly like your daydream or was close enough to it.

Watching with held breath as the charcoal eyes of Shin glided across the page where your latest piece from the night before sat. He admired each line you drew, the expressions, poses, no space on the filled canvas was left untouched by the observant eyesight of the gang leader. You were so worried about what he thought about your artwork that you hadn't touched the lunch he gave to you. What did he think of the doodles you made? Was he gonna laugh at you too? So many questions flow into your mind, filling your stomach with dread and slowly regretting handing over your sketches.

"I recognize this character! I've seen the anime before, but I can't remember the name. God... What's it called? Oh! A/n (Anime/name)! It was really good!"

"You've seen that anime? Y-you watch anime? I didn't think you were the type to be into that."

"Well, I remember reading the manga for it and thinking 'what's the anime like?' so I watched it and I got invested! This art is really cool! I like the way you drew them, is this your character in the anime? They look really nice."

You smiled, nodding as Shinichiro didn't need you to tell him what was what. He did notice you hadn't touched the lunch he made yet, he looked through the other pages before he was satisfied with taking in your work and committing it to his memory.

Eventually, you opened the bento and found delicious food inside,wafting to your nostrils and making you salivate from the aroma. Shinichiro watched you drool over what he cooked this morning,pride blooming in his chest at the sense of accomplishment but he needed to know if you would eat it. He needed you to take a bite and give him your thoughts on how it came out. Now you were the one being observed closely with bated breath by Shinichiro as you thanked him for the food, bringing a portion up to your lips taking a bite of what you grabbed. The flavor made you tear up with a smile, chewing thoughtfully to savor the taste in your mouth.

You won't forget the looks on their faces as Wakasa cackled from the range of emotion in his friends in response to what you said about Shinichiro and his food. Shinichiro was redder than a strawberry and trying to cover his face, Benkei nearly spit out his food from how wild your response to the food was, and Takeomi was just as flabbergasted if not in utter disbelief at what came out of your mouth. Once Wakasa could breathe somewhat and finally wipe the laugh tears from his lavender eyes, all the snow haired boy had to say was:

"I told you you weren't the only one who blurts out weird shit on impulse! I tooold you!!!"

You hadn't even realized what you said until you saw Shin turn into a tomato with his coal eyes wide open in shock and other things in the mix. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't flattered by the comment on his cooking. It meant he was improving and his practice was starting to pay off. Did you really love what he cooked that much? If so, he'd make a personal note to try and cook more for you in the future. Maybe he could even taste your cooking one day if the date was still gonna happen and it went well. The date was still on and you'd make sure it was fun for the both of you. This date would be the best one that you and Shinichiro had ever been on.

"Ready to go?"

You gave Shinichiro a nod, looking forward to how this date would pan out. Even if the date didn't go well, you would give him the opportunity to take you on another one to make up for it. The two of you had fun riding around together, watching the world pass by as you were behind him on the bike. He'd check on you every few minutes to make sure you were okay, slow down if he felt you were nervous about the speed he was going, he was very accommodating and that alone made the afternoon all the more enjoyable for you.

Shinichiro took you to the movie theater, you had tickets but wouldn't tell him what movie you were seeing. You wanted it to be a surprise,and you had good seats in the back with a perfect view of the screen as long as no one blocked it in the middle row. You two had all kinds of snacks and the best part about this theater was the security doing their job to ensure the watchers had a good time which meant they made sure everyone turned off their phones or put them on silent. If they didn't, well they would "mysteriously lose signal" on their phones and would be forced to go outside to get better reception. If they brought noisy kids, quiet them down or leave. If you stepped out of the viewing room for any other reason besides going to the bathroom or getting more snacks for the movie, you weren't allowed back inside to avoid disrupting the movie for everyone else.

If the adults who were disregarding the viewing room rules of turning off their phones brought kids, the children would have to leave with the parents or whomever the adult in attendance was. They were serious about their jobs and they too respect the rules of the viewing rooms. You had gotten mildly annoyed because as the movie was getting good, that's when the wailing of upset babies, ringing phones, and loud talking began.

Unbeknownst to either of you, Wakasa happened to be in the watch room with the two of you, acting as the discreet wing man once he spotted you both on the way in. Waka did his part and helped jam the signals of any moviegoers who were on the phone when they shouldn't have been. Many complaints followed by irritated teens and adults alike exited the theater to get better reception to their dropped calls or messages they couldn't send, falling into the trap of being kicked out via signal jammers. If they came with kids, the kids would be escorted to their families to avoid the risk of leaving them unsupervised. It's not like they would be allowed to come back inside once they were out anyway.

With the amount of noise now back at acceptable levels, you could hear the movie and enjoy your large shared bucket of popcorn that you got for the two of you to share. Although you both weren't focused on the movie, moreso on one another as you both softly conversed in the back row while munching on your snacks and sipping your respective drinks. Really, you two were using the time to get better acquainted with one another by learning about your common interests and what lives you two lived. By the time you two noticed the movie was nearly over, you felt kinda bad for not watching it because you didn't know what the movie was about.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding when Shinichiro admitted he wasn't really focused either. He'd already seen the movie several times so it didn't really matter, but he still had a great time with you and that's all that really mattered at the end of the day. The movie could have been absolute garbage and he'd much rather talk with you than watch it because he really liked you. You'll admit that,on some level, part of you is happy that other girls aren't attracted to Shinichiro and think they're out of his league. Because you aren't too sure you'd have been able to compete otherwise if there had been anyone else that was interested. If it were up to you, you'd keep this handsome,dorky sweetheart of a boy all to yourself and Shinichiro wouldn't mind it. If this is what being loved feels like, then he's all yours and how can he refuse someone as sweet as you if you ever suggested being his one and only lover? He can't and he won't.

I hope I did Shinichiro justice 👉👈 Same with Wakasa and the other boys too, they haven't been animated yet but with how they act in the manga, I assume they're a couple of bros that fuck around and tease their leader about his failing love life. They might shit on him for it but hey, they aren't your friends if they don't at least try to help set you up with someone they think you have a shot with or try to cheer you up if you've been rejected back to back. Bros roast each other but they've got each other's backs when they need it.

[anyasathenaeum]

Personally I think it would be funny if the plan to lock Reader and Vash in a room together failed miserably and they just ended up talking about the weather the whole time like the emotionally constipated dorks they are. And they actually end up confessing at a completely different, unrelated point. Like, one of them gets hammered and confesses when they mistake the other for a stranger and starts rambling about how AMAZING their "unrequited" lover is.

You don't have to write this if you don't want to, just wanted to share at least.

Locked In With You

A/N: I'm gonna write this, I'm taking it like a personal challenge haha partially because I LOVE your idea, Anon - it somehow feels right. For reference, this is a fic that continues off a point from these jealousy headcanons. I took a slightly different approach to this, but it should still address this request!

Edit: So, there is an optional continuation/part 2 to this fic. Read it here!

Pairing: Vash x reader

"So... what do we do now?"

Vash's voice was abnormally high, clearly indicating his nervousness. You were glad the room was pretty dark - that way, Vash wouldn't be able to see your face changing shades. Or, at least, you hoped he couldn't see your face.

For some reason, Meryl and Wolfwood had decided to take it upon themselves to lock you and Vash in a closet together. At least, that's what you suspected.

"I swear, those two are in for it," You muttered under your breath, "They locked us in here on purpose. But for what reason?"

"I don't know!" Vash exclaimed, letting out another nervous laugh, "M-Maybe it was a genuine accident?"

"I doubt that, Vash," You replied sullenly, crossing your arms over your chest, "I don't think anything those two collaborate on is an 'accident'."

"Aww, come on, we should give 'em the benefit of the doubt, don't you think?" Vash tried again, smiling a bit as you shook your head stubbornly in return.

"Absolutely not."

At that, Vash just chuckled before letting a silence fall between the two of you. It felt... comfortable, but simultaneously a bit uneasy, like there was something hovering between you and Vash - something that was begging to be said, or acknowledged, but wasn't being so and just lingered there.

You normally would have given anything to be caught in a situation like this with Vash, but now that you found yourself here, against your will, you felt unsure and scared.

You had fallen in love with the Humanoid Typhoon while travelling with him, and you always made sure your hands "accidentally" touched, or you found reasons to be stuck with him, or be near him, and found yourself looking at him longingly whenever you were sure he wasn't looking. You were pretty certain Meryl and Wolfwood found you pathetic, as they were most definitely aware of how in love you were with Vash. But even so, they didn't say anything about it, for which you were grateful.

Until now, when Meryl and Wolfwood suddenly decided the only way you and Vash could potentially get together was by physically enclosing you in a space until a confession was drawn out. Enough had been enough for them.

"Vash?" You found yourself whispering his name in a question softly, before you yourself knew where you were going with this.

"Yeah, (Y/N)?" Vash responded, his own voice quiet - if you didn't know any better, he almost sounded... nervous. As if he was anticipating something.

"I-," You took a deep breath, "I just wanted to tell you that-"

The door flung open, and you blinked as the sudden light blinded you. Once your eyes adjusted, you just saw a smirking Wolfwood and a slightly embarrassed Meryl.

"Sorry, guys! We finally got the key to get you two out!" Meryl exclaimed as you slipped out of the closet you'd been locked in, brushing past her and mumbling a "thanks" in passing.

One look with Wolfwood, and you could see that he understood - nothing had happened. No confession. You couldn't help but feel a bit upset about it - you were about to let your feelings go when they'd interrupted, and now... it felt like your chance was lost forever.

Your sorrow lasted the rest of the day, to the point where when you and the group went down to the tavern, you found yourself ordering drink after drink after drink, slamming them back one after the other in an attempt to numb the pain of all your emotions. You felt your head spinning and your blood buzzing in your veins, but you weren't about to stop any time soon.

"Woah, woah, woah! Take it easy, there, sweetheart. You trying to drown your sorrows?"

You glanced over at Wolfwood as he sat next to you at the bar, picking up your drink and taking a sniff before smirking at you, "Damn, sweetheart, strong stuff you got here."

He proceeded to drink your drink, causing you to exclaim, "Hey, I was planning to drink that, you bastard!"

"Whatcha doing, drinking enough of this crap to blind a man?" Wolfwood just asked coolly, his eyes trained on you as you sighed heavily.

"Trying to forget the fact that I'm in love with a beautiful, perfect, amazing, wonderful man who will never love me back," You slurred, your voice louder than you recognized it to be.

Before Wolfwood could even interject, you just continued to rant, "Seriously, Wolfwood, Vash is the most amazing person I've ever met and I love him more than anybody else in my life, but there's no chance somebody as amazing as him would even look at somebody like me twice. I'm nobody special, just ordinary, boring, unimpressive (Y/N)."

To Wolfwood's alarm, there were now tears going down your face as you cried silently, the alcohol amplifying your emotions beyond what you were used to. You were hiccupping quietly, brushing away your tears clumsily as you sat there at the bar, suddenly looking much smaller and more vulnerable than Wolfwood had ever seen you. To say he was unsettled was an understatement.

What you didn't notice was Wolfwood's eyes suddenly shifting to something behind you, a smirk appearing on his lips as he saw Vash just standing there, absolutely stunned. There was no question about it - Vash had heard your declaration of love for him.

You suddenly tried to stand, but of course, with your blood alcohol level now probably through the roof, the whole world jerked violently sideways and you stumbled hard. However, a pair of strong yet gentle arms wrapped around you and caught you before you hit the ground. You let out a groan, feeling sick to your stomach - the alcohol was kicking your butt, now.

"Why don't you let Blondie get you back to your room, huh, sweetheart?" Wolfwood stated casually, waving you off and walking over to where Meryl was, leaving you in Vash's arms.

"Come on, (Y/N)," Vash's gentle voice was suddenly in your ear, causing a shiver to go down your spine as you registered he was there, "Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

"Oh, hi Vash!" You chirped, smiling at him as if you hadn't just been sobbing your eyes out minutes prior, "When did you get here?"

"Just a few seconds ago, just in time to catch you as you tripped," Vash answered, smiling down at you with a grin that could rival the sun. It made your chest feel warm but it hurt you a bit as your feelings resurfaced in your cloudy mind.

"O-Oh. Thanks, Vash," You mumbled, feeling queasy as you tried to walk, "I-I should... go to bed. You don't need to babysit me, I'll be fine."

However, right as you tried to brush Vash off, you tripped over yourself once again, almost hitting the floor once more. Thankfully, Vash was still nearby and managed to catch you once again.

"I won't babysit you, but please let me at least make sure you get back safe, (Y/N)," Vash asked gently, looking down at you with an expression filled with an emotion you didn't recognize.

Regardless, it softened your resolve, leading to you mumbling out a small "okay" and letting Vash guide you back to your room. Before you knew it, you were back in your room and Vash let you get ready for bed as he went to turn down your bed covers and make it easier for you to get to bed. Once you had brushed your teeth and changed into your pyjamas (with a lot of difficulty), Vash made you drink a glass of water and brought you over to the bed, tucking the blankets in around you.

Before Vash could leave, you grabbed his wrist, clutching onto him somewhat desperately, a small whisper leaving you as you felt sleep washing over you, "Please don't go."

You didn't even have time to hear Vash's response before sleep dragged you under, your hand dropping from Vash's as you finally fell asleep. Vash's heart was pounding violently in his chest as he gazed at your sleeping figure - even drunk, you still wanted him there.

Vash couldn't help but smile a goofy little smile to himself - he had overheard your passionate and somewhat sad declaration of love for him, undoubtedly unaware that he was directly behind you. His heart had broken when he heard you voice how you felt Vash was unreachable to you, that his love was unreachable to you and that you felt you were nothing special, simply ordinary, and not enough for him.

Your little whisper asking him to stay as you fell asleep just solidified Vash's determination to confess to you in the morning, once you were sober and would be able to remember every word he told you. He already knew you loved him, he now had that confirmation, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to act on it.

"I'm so in love with you, (Y/N)," Vash found himself whispering into the night, leaning down to gently stroke your cheek as you slept on, "I love you more than anything. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. And finally, I'll tell you the truth. I love you, (Y/N). Sleep well, my love."

Vash could not wait for the morning to come.

[yallwildinrn]

(Falls out of the rafters) The American Psycho hyperfixation has arrived, and I love analysis so here I am. Idgaf if anyone reads this, I need this OUT of my brain.

I’m fascinated by how Patrick Bateman is constantly desperately clawing for any kind of real self fulfillment or actualization or even just acknowledgement that he is a person, but because he’s trapped in the eternal corporate hell of vapid materialism and self-obsession, it’s all but guaranteed he will never get it. He will never truly be known, be seen, but that doesn’t stop him because despite his claims, he is still human. He claws for whatever he can get because he’s a fucking void deep inside, so deprived and detached from any semblance his true self, and now all he has is his image. His appearance. His fancy home, expensive wardrobe, detailed routines. Materialism. A facade of perfection.

Because honestly, it’s the only way Patrick can connect with the people around him who are just as vapid and shallow as he is, as he’s become. He’s both the victim and the perpetrator of the disgusting standards of what’s considered acceptable, and he doesn’t care because even though this is all he knows, he still carves acceptance. He still tries so hard to fit in, begging for everyone to see him as normal and accept him, and the sickest joke of all is that these vapid, shallow losers see through all of his attempts to fit in, and they know he’s even more of a shallow loser than they are.

That is to say, none of them really see how hollow and empty he is. They don’t truly see he has no substance (honestly, none of them do.) That requires these self-obsessed pricks surrounding him to look past their own damn nose, but the fact everyone knows he’s a loser and a dork, that THESE people see that he’s a loser and a dork despite everything, is almost heartbreaking. Almost.

Patrick Bateman tries over and over to be accepted. To fit the mold. To cling to the standard. Even his interest in music is watered down to pop culture analysis he reserves only for his victims because they have no choice but to listen - everyone else doesn’t care because even THAT doesn’t fit their mold of acceptability. He just wants to be seen and heard and accepted, have his true self be known at the very least, but it’ll never happen. At this point, after all these years, the closest thing to a “true self” Patrick Bateman has is a molded, rotten, withered away core of hatred and violence. Maybe at one point he did, but it’s gone after all this time trapped in the materialistic rat race he knows far too well.

He’s a hollow shell, like every other person around him. He craves to be seen, but there’s nothing left to see. He’s just a broken, violent, twisted man, and that makes the people around him too uncomfortable; no one wants to look at that. Look at him. It’s much easier to overlook the real horror that is Patrick Bateman and instead focus on his attempts to fit in so desperately and so shallowly. To them, he’s not a human and not a monster and not even worth thinking of beyond idle gossip - he’s just a dorky loser unknowingly among a sea of other moderately less dorky losers.

[jayenator565]

My Tanthamore Comfort Fics

We were talking about comfort fics in the Tanthamore discord and I realized I have too many for a normal sized reply, so here's a tumblr post instead. In no particular order i've reread these fics...maybe too many times.

I'm just gonna list em by author cause that's easier. Keep in mind we may have different definitions of the word comfort.

@commanderbuffy

650 ft2 - Ok so like envision these girls have been best friends for forever and they've been secretly pining for ages, no sense of personal space, they can read eachother like books AND they were roommates!

The Tanthamore Affair - This fic has everything, one bed, fake dating, celeb au, the fic that changed the meaning of a certain emoji and all the tropes you could want really

@badlance

We've got to find other ways to make it together - this one line says all you need to know

"It is the greatest irony of Jade Claymore’s life to be a certified genius who is nevertheless in love with an idiot."

@spybrarian

More Than Just Survival - as far as 5+1 fics go this one has me in a CHOKEHOLD

I scream at your chest for as long as I must

one night at the start of the end of the world

@ilovemyships (i think you need an AO3 account to read these gems)

you won't believe it (they think we're lovers)

don't wanna pressure (but friends don't kiss friends)

@acre-of-wheat - Acre's way with words should be studied

Network Connectivity Issues - I have never related to a character more than I relate to this Jade

The Dark

The Bite

@jlmichigan

Out of the Cuirass - one of the first tanthamore fics I ever read actually and I still come back to it every so often

@stbot

lay down your armor (come lie bare with me) - saintbot has a catalogue lemme tell ya but this one for tanthamore is just so heartwarming

@overkill-max

Escaping Fate - the Kit runs away fic that everyone needs

Dil3mma (idk their tumblr right now sorry)

A Sword And A Shield (And Everything In Between)

Deja-Brew - the loveliest coffee shop one shot

Jad3dEt3rnal (idk if they have a tumblr either)

This Daydream is Dangerous - cuddly vampire Jade, need I say more?

ana_chronistic (idk if they have a tumblr either x3)

Oops. I proposed. - fake dating x 100, fake proposal it's like fake dating to the next level and I love the growth of communication and pacing in this.

@barmaid-anon

do what you feel now

you want a good girl that does bad things (to you)

fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an arrangement)

we simply don't have time to unpack why these are comfort fics, we're just going to accept it and keep going.

@thecsquirrel

Sword and Shield - I love this look at what post S1 life could have been like for the gang, revisiting Nockmaar, seeing Galladoorn, getting into the evil Elora storyline with Graydon, spending more time with the Nelwyn and in the Wildwood it's just everything

@wigster07

What a pleasant surprise - a fic of one of my other comfort fics, I know it's like fic-ception in the best way possible. If you liked Tanthamore Affair I have an inkling this will be right up your alley

@isabrella @jade-claymore @allthefakepeople @resurrecho

those rumors they have big teeth - BAND AU need I say more? I don't need to but i'm going to, this fic has everything Kit and Jade in a band, Kit's leather pants, gay-ifying songs, MAMA MIA, totally gay best friends who have basically been dating for years but won't admit to it, Jade gets to be a bit problematic as a treat, inner band fighting, what more can you want?

@swashbucklery

meet you where the spirit meets the bones (tanthamore 90s werewolf au) - its a SERIES of these repressed gay DORKS and they're werewolves, there's such a charming way to how this author writes them I legit can't even with these two gays

@onlyshestandsthere

these walls come tumbling down - look, we don't have time to unpack why there's so many were-related supernatural esque fics on my comfort list and I know this is only 2 chapters in but I can already feel the comfort in all the hurt ok I dont even have to wait I already know i'm gonna be rereading this like monthly

I'm gonna have to stop there even though I know i'm still missing some! If someone asked me what my favorites are we'd be here all day XD