#the dopamine and/or serotonin are low as FUCK

[kunasthiast]

bathroom meetings

you were finally in the tub.

bubbles everywhere. hair piled up. candle lit. mood set was divine. perfect silence. peace. it was your me time. after a ridiculous week that felt like being hit repeatedly with a spreadsheet and then lit on fire, the only thing you wanted was solitude and maybe for your skin to absorb enough lavender oil to knock you out for twelve hours.

sukuna had been in full corporate tyrant mode the past few days. buried in meetings. constantly yelling into headsets like he was declaring war (he might’ve been).

there were moments you’d pass by the home office and hear him through the closed doors: “i said quarterly projections, not emotional projections. are you fucking with me?”

in that same low, terrifying voice he used when he was threatening that random guy on the street who once slapped your head thinking you were his friend. and obviously, that’s the tone that meant someone’s career was about to combust.

not that sukuna had been ignoring you, though. there were still sleepy kisses in the morning. half-asleep cuddles at night. coffee mug swaps between meetings. the quiet, steady kind of love. but you missed him. his annoying, smug, feral ass. just a little.  

so when the bathroom door creaked open mid-bath, you didn’t even flinch. you just knew. and yep, there he was.

dragging in his entire goddamn office chair. into the fucking bathroom.

yes, a literal, high-backed, leather executive monstrosity. the one he always dramatically called ‘the only chair that respects my spine.’ he wheeled it in like he was about to conduct a strategy meeting in your bubble sanctuary. and then he parked it casually beside the sink, facing you.    

you blinked at him from your lavender-scented cocoon of suds, “what the hell, babe… are you serious right now?”

“hi, baby,” he said, already settling into the seat like this was perfectly reasonable. “i wanna spend time with you. so i brought my chair.”

“…in the bathroom?”

“yeah, got a problem with it? you’re hot. the lighting’s warm. the air smells like that purple crap you love. it’s a vibe. this is my happy place.”

you stared at him. “you brought your chair.”

“‘course I did,” he said, already opening his laptop (he fucking brought one) and clicking away like this was just another thursday. “i’m swamped. figured i could do my stupid shit and look at you. productivity. efficiency. serotonin. and dopamine. win-win.”

you squinted at him. he never used that many words to justify something unless he was spiraling. which meant that he’s fucking really drained for today – an oddity. sukuna never gets drained. he had the chaotic stamina of a toddler with an espresso machine. weird visual, but whatever. 

“you just wanted to watch me and pretend it was multitasking.” you teased.

“baby, i don’t need to pretend to watch you,” sukuna replied without shame, eyes flicking down over your shoulders, lingering for a breath too long. “i’m your husband. it’s practically in the vows.”

you groaned and slid lower into the bubbles. “you’re so annoying. you have zero concept of personal space.”

“bold of you to say when i was balls deep in you last week,” he muttered, eyes back on the laptop screen.

you rolled your eyes. “rude. that was emotional love-making, actually.”

“you cried after,” he added helpfully, with a teasing grin this time, looking at you.

“i was overstimulated and exhausted!”

“from all the love,” he said, voice dropping slightly as he winked. “you looked so fuckin’ pretty like that, by the way. all whimpery and soft. should’ve taken a photo. mental health purposes.” he then turned back to his laptop and continued doing whatever shit he was doing like he hadn’t just shattered your dignity. 

“god, you’re insufferable,” you sighed, watching him lean back and spread his legs like he owned the damn place (he does). shirtless. and just in his boxers. basically, a menace in soft lighting.

“only for you,” he said, then paused, dragging his eyes down again. his fingers slowed on the keyboard. “you always sit like that in the tub when you want me to look.”

you froze slightly. “‘kuna, i’m literally just bathing.”

“uh-huh. with your knees poking out of the bubbles like that. water dripping down your collarbone. are we pretending you’re not trying to make me fail this report?”

you stared him down. “you’ve been shirtless all day. i haven’t said a word.”

“you bit me earlier. for no reason.”

“you were walking around with a pen in your mouth like a chew toy!”

he grinned and stretched out in the chair, legs wide, muscles relaxed. “ohhh, my bad, madame la professeur. je m’excuse.” his voice dipped, teasing. “would you prefer I recite conjugations again?” 

you choked on a laugh, bubbles shifting. “no... baby, stop. i don’t wanna heart it,” you said as you covered your ears.

“sweetheart, you threatened to drown me with a beret when i said ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi’ in class.”

“because you said it in front of the TA! and winked at me after saying that, who does that?”

“me, obviously. and now look at us,” he gestured vaguely between the two of you, “still conjugating. still undressing with language.”

“gross.”

“grammatical,” he corrected smugly.

“anyway,” you huffed, “this was supposed to be sacred alone time.”

“correction,” he said, typing, “this is now sacred us time.”

“i can’t believe this is what my marriage looks like.”

he looked up again, glasses low on his nose. hair messy from a full day of stress-yanking (not love-making). dark eyes locked onto you like you were another report he was ready to manhandle. “consider me your emotional support office chair. i’m quiet. i click keys. i’m shirtless. it’s a wellness experience, brat.”

you gave him a deadpan look. “remind me again why you’re still doing reports when you own the entire damn company?”

“because my exec team is full of morons and apparently need their daddy to babysit the fucking budget.” he muttered, his eyes back on the screen.

“… so you really say that in meetings? ‘don’t worry, daddy’s here with the spreadsheets’?”

he gave you a withering look. “baby, don’t make me come over there and show you why they call me that.”

you sat up straighter, mock-scandalized. “you are not turning my bath into a boardroom kink.”

“oh, please,” he snorted. “you’d let me reorganize your filing system if i said that it in that voice.”

 “try me,” you puffed your cheeks and threatened, “i will throw a loofah at you. and for the record, ‘kuna? this is ambush. i was having sacred time, you bulldozer.”

“and yet… you married me.”

“temporarily lost judgment.”

“five-year lapse?”

you rolled your eyes in annoyance. “shut up. you’re ridiculous.”

“correct. and in love.” he said easily, shifting the laptop onto his other lap. and you let out a soft laugh at that because you know it’s true. 

for a moment, he didn’t say anything. just watched you, still half-soaked in warm light and bubbles. his eyes lingered, not with hunger and mischief, but with something softer. like he was memorizing. or making sure you’re here.

“you good, babe?” you asked.

he blinked, like coming back from wherever his head has gone. “yep, just…” he shrugged. “you’re the best part of the day, baby. seriously though, i missed you,” he said voice quieter now, like it didn’t just knock the air out of your lungs.

you blinked and froze a little. not because he said it, but because of how soft he said it. you rolled your eyes again, but your heart was already melting. “i’ve been busy. you’ve been busy. it’s fine.”

“it’s not fine,” he said, not looking up from the screen. “i like working. but i like you more. well, love. whatever, you know.”

that... shut you up a little. for a whole minute, even. you stared at him as candlelights softened the hard lines of his face. he was typing again, brows furrowed, but his jaw was tight.

“… okay, damn. for someone who threatened brad from finance with a stapler, that’s surprisingly romantic, ‘kuna.” you said quietly.

he cracked a small smile. “brad’s an idiot. you, on the other hand, are my peace.”

you were silent for a second and sighed out relief you’ve been wanting to let out for the past week. “well, you’re a clingy little bitch.”

“only for you, baby,” he said without missing a beat. then he smirked and cocked his head, eyes sliding over your shoulder, chest, legs – all barely hidden under the bubbles. 

“also, this bath is really doing things to my productivity levels. like, negative productivity. you gonna stand up at some point or do i have to pretend i dropped something in your bathwater?” he added, clearly back to his cocky self.

you threw the loofah at him. he caught it one-handed. “you’re such a menace.”

“only for you, brat,” he repeated again, softer this time. then added, “also, your left boob’s out. always a ten out of ten.”

“get out.”

“i just got comfortable,” he grinned. “and again… i’m your husband. my perving is legally protected.”

––

a/n: lol i went thru a writing slump last month and i can't think of anything – and thank heavens i've maxxed out my scrolling that i was able to come out of that coping (from a failed subject and delayed grad) lol so here's another husband!sukuna just bc and this ain't proofread

[sunlightfeeling]

oh my god I would actually really love if rsd didn’t pay me a visit

I’m already emotionally tired, as is, thank you so much

[quezzzs]

"Detective Reed?"

"The fuck is it now, plastic?"

Nines' LED flashed a yellow as he sternly spoke to Gavin, who had his legs kicked up on his desk as he absentmindedly stared at the bullpen ceiling.

"We haven't made any progress in our case and you certainly haven't been doing even half of the work."

Instead of fighting back, Gavin just ran his mouth with what he could think of at the moment. "Thought you androids are so clever. You can solve this shit on your own."

Nines' LED went back to blue immediately. Gavin had always been so stubborn in doing his own work, criticizing Nines' artificial talent, saying that he would be better than the android ever could, and actively jump into defending his work style at any advice(good or not).

Besides the attempted insult, Gavin sounded quieter than usual.

This was definitely out of character for the short tempered man. "What's gotten into you?"

Gavin raised an eyebrow up as he turned his head to Nines' direction. "What do you mean?"

"You're acting...off today." The RK900 narrowed his eyes at Gavin, making a scan on his physiology.

///collecting data...

Nines' HUD flashed with new data on Gavin.

|LOW DOPAMINE LEVELS|

|LOW SEROTONIN LEVELS|

Among other signs, something occurred that turned the human detective into...that.

Nines leaned his arms against his desk as he questions Gavin.

"It ended, didn't it?"

Gavin only shot a quick angered glance before rolling his eyes and admitting it. "Bastard left with no reason." Despite the rough appearance he tried to present, Nines could tell it really affected the man.

"You know that you should try to stop getting yourself into relationships. This is the third person in the past 2 months."

That reminder got to Gavin, making him put his legs back down onto the ground, retorted back at Nines in irritation. "You don't get to say shit in this, it's my life and I don't remember you ever mentioning your special someone."

The LED went back to yellow again before switching back, Nines processing Gavin's words.

"Yes, but even so you're stagnating our progress. I cannot continue if you are lacking in the job you've worked for."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Detective, I'm merely-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

"Detective Reed-"

"Yada, yada, yada-"

Nines was getting pissed at this point. He didn't have any time for Gavin to play around with the subject.

"Gavin Reed."

Gavin had shut his mouth right up when he heard Nines' voice raised louder than before, though he was still irked.

Nines made an unnecessary sigh before talking. "I don't want to deal with your bitchy attitude you've been keeping up with today. Either you get it together and work on the case we were assigned or you leave early, though I don't think Captain Fowler would be pleased with the leave."

Now, Nines have made similar threats before during their time together. Surely Gavin would tough it out like he always does.

He doesn't.

Instead, he gets up, takes his stuff, and walks out.

"What- Detective! We're not-"

"See ya, Nines."

Nines was left alone in the DPD bullpen. Baffled on what just happened.

══════════════════

"Another on me."

"Sir, you've had 9 shots already. Are you sure-"

"Just a couple more, I got the money."

"It's your liver."

The bartender gave Gavin another glass shot of alcohol as he took the empty ones away to clean. Gavin's face flushed red as he hung his head low at where he sat, the music that played throughout the bar sounded muffled in his ears. He was lost in deep thought about what Nines said about him.

He knew he was acting up but he didn't know how else to deal with it. It's not like he couldn't get attached. The last three guys he's dated showed him so much care and each time they did, he believed it.

It's ironic that for a detective, he had trouble seeing the signs.

The first cheated, the second was taking his money, and the third one randomly decided he wasn't into Gavin anymore. He got played 3 times in a row. Why not a good drink to wash out the sadness? Sure it's temporary but at least he doesn't have to feel it now, right?

Gavin down his glass, thudding his forehead onto the wooden surface beneath his arms while he guessed what could be the case this time.

Was he being too forward? Was he too passive? Was he being too soft? Was he being too intense? Was he the problem?

He set the shot glass down, running his hand through his hair as he took a deep breath. Alcohol wasn't working out for tonight. He took out his card and paid automatically into the slot, standing up the best he could before walking out.

As he exited out of the bar, he saw a familiar face leaning at the side of his car. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Nines, who had his arms crossed and stared at Gavin with an unamused look, answered the question. "To supervise you. You left in a rush and it's not hard to track your location that you gave to me."

Gavin had almost forgotten he did that. Why did he trust the bot that much?

"Just-" He pinched the bridge of his nose, weighing the pros and cons in his head(minus the fact that his head felt like it was beating slightly right now)

But of course, Nines cut him off from his train of thoughts.

"No, I'm driving you back to your apartment complex. You are in no condition to drive right now and it wouldn't look good on your records to be charged with a D.U.I."

Gavin grumbled dramatically but he knew Nines was right about that. He already had so much riding his ass back at work and getting a D.U.I. might as well get him fired.

He didn't argue with that and tossed Nines the keys as he entered the passenger side.

══════════════════

Gavin opened up the door and set his jacket aside, tossing the wallet and keys onto the nearby counter. Nines followed accordingly inside of the building.

Gavin was blessed to have a spacious enough living space and so he only needed to take a few steps near the couch before he crashed down on top of it, groaning loudly. Nines rolled his eyes at how childish his coworker was behaving.

"Detective, I suggest that you-"

"Can you shut up?" Gavin adjusted himself to sit up but Nines had enough.

"No, I've had it with your behavior. No matter what tactic I use to get your ass moving along you end up sitting back down and throw yourself a pity party. I apologize if your love life is crumbling down but you have a job and you might as well quit if you wanna complain all the time."

Nines glared at Gavin, staring him down as he stood looming above the shorter man. Gavin hated that feeling. He got up and grabbed at Nines' jacket collar.

"Listen here, plastic prick, I don't want to fucking deal with it right now. I wanted to drink and go home but now my moods' phcking ruined 'cuz of you. Stop sucking the dick of your 'directive' and leave me alone."

"Would you rather have me suck yours."

...

Nines can be stupid sometimes.

This was one of those times.

The two men were left in an awkward silence from what Nines retaliated with, Gavin having an undetermined expression while Nines had a faint blue blush on his face from his bluntness.

He was so used to them bickering in situations such as this and had grown used to Gavin's unfiltered words that he might've picked up on some as well.

"I apologize, Detective. I didn't mean-"

"Would you?"

HELLO???

"Wha-"

"Tell me," Gavin shook his head for a moment before fully going for it. "Yes or no?"

Nines was frozen on spot. Speechless. Dumbstruck. Tongue-tied.

...

"Yes."

══════════════════

Nines sat at his desk, avoiding eye contact with the human that sat across(who was also doing the same thing).

He couldn't bear it anymore.

Nines shot a wireless interlink comm with Connor who was sitting on the other side of the bullpen.

'Connor?'

'Yes, Nines? Is there something you need?'

It was silent in the interlink for a moment.

'Nines?'

'I sucked Detective Reed's penis last night.'

"WHAT?!"

People snapped their heads towards where Connor suddenly yelled, but his eyes were dead set on Nines(whose face was blue as hell right now).

Inspo: my own post😭

Edit: next part has been added

[salty-an-disco]

🦾 For Cold :)

🦾 Disability headcanon

OK SO–

Cold is both an autistic with low empathy and alexhytimia, and has antisocial personality disorder. He often acts impulsively, with a disregard for his own and other’s safety, struggles connecting to other’s emotional struggles, sees things in a very distant and pragmatic manner etc etc.

They’re also hyposensitive, which is why they can never tell how bad an injury is. Its chronic depression makes it even more difficult for them to get serotonin or dopamine, which can make it irritable and restless alongside the usual numbness it feels.

I also think her joints are kinda fucked up. Unusually stiffy and sometimes turn in weird ways. Just have a Feeling.

[esterzach]

I hate this fucking day! I need my serotonin or dopamin or whatever... I am just watching how she leans into the kiss... ***

She was transported back to the past, recalling that day. She hadn’t noticed how she watched Sergio with a smile, completely unaware of what was being said during the lesson. Her eyes sparkled as she seemed to observe herself from a distance, only realizing that the talking had stopped when she met a pair of curious, dark eyes fixed on her. He stood there, his whole body turned toward her, attempting to read her thoughts.

He tilted his head in silent question, and her smile grew even wider. Her eyes squinted with happiness, lights dancing within them despite the foggy, dim weather outside the window. She hadn’t realized that she always stood behind him; somehow, it felt natural, comfortable, giving her a chance to observe the others from a distance. If she’d turned her thoughts inward, perhaps to the psychologist within her, she might have recognized she was distancing herself from the group while simultaneously positioning herself firmly behind him. Confident in his strength, she quietly promised him her unwavering support. Unconscious body language was easy to identify, but her mind was far too preoccupied with the novelty of the situation—and with her admiration for a man she had never seen in this role before. His brilliance radiated; adrenaline and pure joy animated him as he stood tall and confident, entirely in his element. There was no trace of insecurity, no hint of fear or shyness, nothing of the man she had met in that bar three years ago. And he was undeniably sexy.

Realizing she was smiling foolishly, she lowered her head, hoping no one in the room had noticed. She was suddenly worried that they might see through her, might catch a glimpse of the thoughts racing through her mind—thoughts that, at the moment, were anything but pure.

Under his gaze, her body reacted in its familiar, conditioned way. Two years on the island had been more than enough for her to develop this habit, ingrained in her mind. Slowly and methodically, this unconscious reaction surfaced every time. A familiar thrill stirred low in her belly, like an electric pulse, awakening her senses and widening her smile, pulling her toward him with an invisible thread.

Alberto had changed her perception of the world.

It was the kind of realization that usually comes slowly, over time—or, if it comes suddenly, it's often later than you wish it had. A single person or an event can have that power, shifting everything upside down. Sometimes the change happens in a flash; other times, it unfolds so gradually it’s almost imperceptible, and by the time it’s complete, it’s nearly impossible to go back.

Until Sergio came along. He was like the perfect storm, sweeping through her world and permanently changing its landscape. For a few days, he shattered everything, and suddenly she could savor the sun breaking through the clouds, the gentle breeze. She found herself basking in the calm of a voice that didn’t hiss or strain, a voice devoid of malice or cynicism. She marveled at hands that welcomed her trust without hesitation, words and gestures that offered sincerity and understanding, free from judgment or fear. Here was a man who didn’t dissect her thoughts or pick apart her words, reducing her to a specimen on the autopsy table. He was something new and unknown—a reminder that this should be the norm: a rule for pure and peaceful minds, souls untainted by the world’s harshness.

It wasn’t the sea or the island’s fresh air that healed her. It was him, slowly and steadily. Even as the world united to hunt them down, vowing vengeance, she felt like the safest woman alive. He had taken care of everything.

Her mind was finally at peace. Ever since that day in the warehouse, over three years ago, when she hung by her hands tied to the ceiling, she had known true peace. Her heart was safe.

Her body was safe, nestled in his—and somehow, that was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

I like the idea of TotK eventually taking up the sitàr, which sitars IRL have this really enchanting, sort of buzzing tune to them.

And, I could legitimately see him just sort of plucking the strings absentmindedly to relax & de-stress. Though, I don't think he'd go out of his way to specifically play anything, instead just sort of vibing out by listening to the sounds. Doesn't mean he won't sometimes end up playing a familiar tune, but it isn't what he sets out to do.

In my mind, I feel like it'd pair quite well with Nemma's shinobue playing. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find anything where a sitar & a shinobue are played together. However, & maybe this is just my wishful thinking, but I think it'd create a type of sound that is very interesting but harmonizes in a unique way.

I love this. Its so soft, the scene is so nice. I love envisioning this, honestly. As someone highly motivated by music (while I cannot play instruments, my sibling was trumpet and I was in choir! I love to sing) Seeing the man just enjoy playing an instrument beside his lover, who is also playing, doing so in harmony... Its so nice. Good serotonin and dopamine right there.

I wanted to ask Chat what instruments the Ganondorfs would play and if they would sing as well. HILARIOUSLY, it swapped the organ, which Ocarina plays CANONICALLY, and gave it to Twilight Princess, and then Gave Ocarina... Drums??? I found it funny so I am just gunna post it unchanged below so you can enjoy and wonder... Chat, what the absolute fuck.

************************************************************************

That's a fascinating idea! Ganondorf casually playing the sitar while Nemma accompanies him on the shinobue would create an intriguing and unique harmony, blending the deep, resonant tones of the sitar with the light, airy sounds of the shinobue. Here's how each Ganondorf, and Demise, might approach music, their preferred instruments, and whether they sing:

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Instrument: Oud (similar to a lute)

Skill Level: Skilled

Singing: Occasionally hums or sings in a low, thoughtful tone

Approach: Wind Waker Ganondorf has a reflective side, often playing the oud to unwind and meditate on his plans. His playing is deliberate and somber, each note carefully placed, reflecting his contemplative nature. His voice would be deep, carrying the weight of his experiences.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Instrument: Drums

Skill Level: Intermediate

Singing: Rarely, and only in a chant-like manner

Approach: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf prefers the primal beats of drums, which he uses to channel his energy and focus before battle. His playing is powerful, almost ritualistic, and when he does sing, it’s more of a deep, rhythmic chant meant to inspire his followers or intimidate his enemies.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Instrument: Pipe organ

Skill Level: Highly skilled

Singing: Not typically, but his voice would be deep and commanding if he did

Approach: Twilight Princess Ganondorf is drawn to the grandeur and power of the pipe organ. His playing is intense, dramatic, and filled with dark emotion, often filling the halls of his castle with ominous, echoing chords. He sees the organ as an extension of his own imposing presence.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Instrument: War horn or conch shell horn

Skill Level: Intermediate

Singing: Loud, war-like shouts rather than singing

Approach: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf enjoys instruments that reflect his warrior spirit. The war horn suits him well, its powerful blasts rallying his forces and striking fear into his enemies. His music is bold and straightforward, much like his approach to battle.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Instrument: Sitar

Skill Level: Intermediate, with potential for growth

Singing: Soft, meditative hums

Approach: As you envisioned, TotK Ganondorf would find solace in the sitar, its enchanting tones helping him to relax and reflect. His playing is more about the journey and the feel of the instrument than any particular piece of music. His humming would be soft, almost as if he's lost in thought, complementing the calming sounds of the sitar.

Demise

Instrument: Large taiko drums

Skill Level: Expert

Singing: Powerful, guttural chants

Approach: Demise would resonate with the thunderous booms of taiko drums, playing them with a ferocity that mirrors his own nature. His drumming would be intense, full of raw power, and his chanting would be guttural and commanding, as if calling forth the very forces of the earth itself.

Each of these characters brings their unique personality to the music they play, reflecting their nature and the way they interact with the world around them.

[lighting-and-shadow]

kinda fucked up that people said that to you about caring for your safety, i’m so sorry you went through that.

from one big girlie to another, i get how you feel. i haven’t had anyone ever say that to me but, i do feel for your discomfort around men. i’ve had my fair share of guys being weird with me, and it’s made me quite uncomfortable around men i’m unfamiliar with.

anyway, just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and i see you 💛 i’m sorry someone invalidated your experiences and fears like that. that’s some internalised fatphobia and racism talking tbh.

as far as the guys are concerned, i can only think of my main. sylus would definitely validate your fears. probably sit you down and have an open conversation about your experiences, just to listen to you and understand you. and if you end up instinctively shutting your fears down, he’d probably straight away be like, “what an odd thing to say, sweetie. what does size have to do with fear?” (low-key he’s seething at whoever said such BS to you but of course he’s gotta stay calm for you). then he’d continue, “to be honest, i think sometimes even i am afraid of men.” and you’d probably scoff, not believing him in the slightest. “no really, how can you not be? people can be capable of such cruelty, it’s only normal to be uneasy. i think there is great strength in being wary of people. but… despite it all, i hope you know you’ll always be safe with me.”

heh it’s not really what you were looking for but i had a thought haha

Wow, okay. This took me on a rollercoaster of emotions.

First, thank you. It’s always nice to have my feelings validated (something I’m working on in therapy is not downplaying my emotions, especially my trauma), so that warmed my heart. And I’m sorry you’ve also been through this. It sucks. Women, especially women of color, already have deal with so much BS and this just adds on top of this. I see you too. I see everyone who’s been through this, and whatever you feel, it’s valid and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Second, I’m also a Sylus main, so I kind of wrote my post thinking of him. I just resonate with him so much. And I think what you wrote is spot on.

Thirdly, this was kind of exactly what I was looking for. And thank you for taking the time to write this to me. I love engaging with people here (it’s my free boost of serotonin and dopamine I need to get through exams). So thank you once again. I’m grateful.

[adhdapp]

YOOO I’m excited! I wanna respect your time and whatnot, but I’m curious about the app called forrest basically you grow trees by focusing for set amounts of time. never tried it but the app store keeps recommending it to me. from a cursory look at the reviews, some people said it helps with phone overuse (hooray??) it is four dollars, not sure that you want to start with that. anyways thanks for your consideration, hope this blog goes super well :DD

This is actually an app I paid for the premium version of years ago, by chance! So I can give it a pretty complete shake. Here's the review.

Forest: Phone usage control

Overall rating: Certified, with stipulations. Here's the tl;dr

App includes a disincentive for failure (tree death), so if you're sensitive to even mildly feeling like you've fucked up, this might not be your bag

Low on novelty, so if you need a variety of goals to pursue quickly, this might not be your bag (other plant unlocks take a lot of time, forest grows one 25 minute increment at a time)

Achievements and events are a big plus, with several relatively easy achievements to keep you going.

No Dark Mode

supports a charity so that's pretty cool

Diamonds shop even after a 1 time purchase: go no further if you are susceptible to impulse purchases, I respect them keeping the lights on with optional bonus content, but it can be easy to chase the Purchase Dopamine and we need to say No Thank You

Red Flags: None, this app has been going steady for a few years and for seemingly pretty good reason. I didn't find any red flags with the charity it supports either. It's not on a subscription model, and nothing in it seems to be ridiculously priced.

Dopamine hits: Okay so the main drive for using this app is growing the big old garden of trees, collecting different trees, and seeing the physical space of that garden grow. With this said I have One Major Concern I'd like to get out of the way.

Are you the kind of person that's going to feel like shit if you let a plant die? Will you accidentally tab out, kill a tree, and be miserable out it? Do not use this app.

It DOES let you clear the dead trees out of your garden (see above) but personally I don't find disincentives like that as compelling as positive reinforcement. The app is encouraging about it (as you can see) but personally I'm wary of things where I can receive what feels like a punishment because I was only productive for five minutes and not the allotted ten I needed in order to keep the tree alive. the stopwatch mode reduces this, somewhat, but again, you need over 10 minutes. Make sure you allow texts or calls in allowed apps in settings so if something comes up you don't have to feel bad about killing a tree.

Features: Forest provides you one or two different tree types you can grow as you focus, and a nice little plot of land. I'll be honest, I don't think the free version gives you very much to work with, but the premium version gives you different kinds of trees you can grow, events, social connections, tracking, custom tagging system so you can track what you're spending your time off your phone doing, and best of all, achievements. Forest also comes with both a count-down and a stopwatch mode so that if you'd like to just study or work as long as you can you don't have to just do it in increments, which is nifty, and a change from some other pomodoro counters/timers. If using the app to just do poms/increments, there's a switch to keep the app on while you work.

Price: This app is a freemium (on android), but honestly, if phone restriction usage apps are useful for you, just buy the thing right out of the gate. It's 3.99 (also the price of the entire app on the apple store) and what you get for that price is like 99% of the functionality of the app imo. 3.99$ for a one-time unlock is ridiculously cheap for what you're getting. However. The other trees do take a hot minute to unlock. So if you need that cheap and easy serotonin and you have an intense need for novelty this might not be the move.

I will add a stipulation here: Make sure that phone restriction apps are actually what you Need if this is what you're using. if you're the kind of person who can respond to messages and still be productive, this may not be your bag. If you're on a computer and you're going to end up scrolling through tumblr on your laptop instead of your phone, this may not be your bag. Phone restriction apps are useful mainly if what you need to do is get off tech and go do something physical, like read a book or do chores. I do Not recommend this if what you're trying to do is write an essay on your laptop. It is just as easy to procrastinate on pc as it is on your phone. However, For What It Is, this app is extremely functional.

This app DOES have a diamond store and in app purchases to make extra cash but frankly I don't actually begrudge them this. With a one-time purchase that cheap and regular events that seem to allow you to unlock other plants, they seem to have a good content balance and hey, whatever they have to do to keep the app running. I just launched it again and it reminded me I have the pro version even through I bought that like eight years ago.

Polish + Customization: I'm grouping these together because I really have the same quibble for both, there isn't a darkmode on the settings screen, which is an annoyingly bright white compared to the rest of the app. News is Also bright white, so is the store, generally a lot of the things off the main page are bright white with no option to change them. I do not love that. But everything is easy to find and adjust, and though the load times can be a little slow (which is annoying) I generally can't complain too much.

Roadmap: News tab indicates that the app is still being updated and having new plants added, despite the developers seemingly have a couple other projects going- they've got a to-do list app I'm going to have to check out and one to prevent you using your phone while sleeping.

So there u go: Proceed with caution and respect for your specific needs, but it's top of the line in its category, imo. You just need to make sure that category is what you're looking for.

[luxxtuxx]

The Punk Prince And His Pink Princess P3

GO AHEAD TELL ME THIS ISNT PERFECT FOR THIS PLOTT!!!!!!!1111!!1!111!! Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 4 CW: HOBIES A SIMP!! A bit of angst, i have been too nice to yall. If yall ask nicely ill give you a happy ending TW: Making fun of medical equipment -------------------

Thanks to hobies help after a few days, Y/N was back to normal. She showed up her eyes as yellow as ever and back to her happy self. Hobie couldn't help but watch her with a smile almost hidden smile, he was a punk! he couldn't be love-struck by some stupid cute... (NO NOT CUTE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.) nerd that happily skips around. He was so thankful for his mask so then she couldn't see his stupid love-sick smile She seemed to be looking for something, might as well be helpful to find whatever might be missing. "Looking for something?" he asked leaning down over her. She didn't seem to notice him walking over, a let a scared yelp. She took a breath her eyes fading into a candyfloss pink then nods "yea, I was looking for you!" she said softly in such a sweet alluring amaz- (Hobie! focus! stop it!). "Oh, well here I am what's up? Am I getting a gift or something?" he jokes, pausing his laughter when he sees her shyly nod. God, he is so lucky she couldn't see his face, he was smiling like a dumbass and his cheeks were bright pink.

She reached into her side-clasp purse and pulled out a neat black and red bag, with neatly stacked cookies inside. He felt his heartbeat quicken, they are just some stupid ass cookies why was he feeling this way. (God fuck no, Really heart?! you chose her to be in love with!? FUCK YOU HEART) (Dont cuss me out Blame the brain! He is the one releasing dopamine and serotonin every time we see her!)

Hobie let out a tsk and kinda snatched the cookies "Thanks I guess" he looks away trying to save face. then a little light caught his eye and implant on the outside of her arm... it had a sticker on it. Pink of course, because it's her favorite to dress in. He scoffs "So you let the government fool you into getting a tracker implant? What are you fucking dumb?" it was supposed to be a simple light-hearted joke, he wasn't sure why she used her hand to cover the blinking thing, and ran away crying. The entire squad stared at Hobie like he had 8 heads. "Dude, Not cool," Pavitr says and walks off. Pavitr wasn't easy to anger or upset. Hobie paused "Gwendy, What did I do wrong? I was trying to make a joke about the blinky thingy on her arm" Gwen sighs "Y/n is hypoglycemic, you know that, that's the one thing on her body that no one had ever made fun of her for. it was her Dexcom" Hobie looked confused not knowing what that meant. Gwen sighs "Her glucose monitor so she could know when her glucose was getting low so she didn't pass out on a mission. Dude, every one of us except her can see that you like her, but what you just did was low. Im only telling you this next bit because I believe in second chances, She has a hiding spot in the ceiling on the west wing north hall."

Hobie paused. He fucked up and bad, he needed to fix this, but how?! he knew where she was but getting her to forgive him was probably gonna be the issue

[evolvingchaoswitch]

Scratches, Scars and Stars: Part 2

Rocket was looking down at your broken form as you laid in your room having been transferred from the medicine bay after you had been treated. It was less than two hours ago when you had slammed yourself into an exposed pipe thrusting it straight into your left shoulder with impressive force and flarkin lucky you didn’t end up puncturing a lung. Everything had happened so fast, you had bumped into Mantis, then that stupid message had been sent and you ran like you were being chased by bounty hunters before hurting yourself. Rocket tried to push the memory out of his mind of you being rapidly coloured by your own blood and how they almost didn’t make it to get medical attention because of where the ship was docked; new ship rule they now each carry basic first aid supplies.

Mantis had been hounded by the Guardians to explain what she felt when she touched you only giving the answer “They’re sick” before refusing to answer any more questions for everyone that wasn’t Rocket.

“So what the flarkin hell is wrong with them?” Rocket asked in his typical gruff voice but when you listened closer you could hear just the faint undercurrent of fear in his voice. Anyone with a functioning set of eyes or equivalent would be able to see just how upset Rocket was but he was trying to hide it, though was doing so poorly. All his muscles had been tensed, his ears pulled back and if you were able to look at his eyes you could see that corners were damp almost as if his eyes had been watering.

Mantis had smiled at him sadly before placing a hand on his shoulder “Better if I show you” before letting her powers seep into Rocket letting Rocket feel what she had felt from you.

Rocket was surprised with how familiar most of the emotions had felt to him as most of them were things that he felt himself. Your mind was just as unfriendly to you as his was to himself and he needed to know why. What happened to you on Terran to make the both of you so similar? Was this the reason he was attracted to you or was that the reason he stayed away because you might actually get him. Clutching his head in frustration, Rocket grabbed a medical scanner off the table before making his way back to your room to hopefully get some answers, sorting through feelings and emotions made him feel uncomfortable but going through scientific data points, that was his jam.

As he scanned you he was reminded of a major difference between you two, this scanner might help him to better understand you but would kill him. He cursed the High Evolutionary as he typically did when he was forced to remember the fact. When the scan was done Rocket started going over the information as you rested, Rocket was on the edge of hoping you’d wake up quickly and hoping you’d stay asleep so he could go over the information. It wasn’t pretty and Rocket wondered for the millionth time in his lifespan how Terra was so good at fucking people up without having galactic wars to help with that.

The frown on Rocket's face continued to deepen further as he went over the scanners results, how was it that some many of your neural pathways were damaged and why did it look like it started young. He had seen the ravages of poverty on other species during the Guardians travels through the galaxy but he wasn’t expecting it from you after Quill said that you grew up in a nicer country than him; the concept of countries still felt stupid to him, damn planeters. The levels of cortisol that still remained in your body even after being given relaxants was concerning, like your body couldn’t release stress like it needed a certain level to function; he put that on the growing list of things you both had in common. It was the levels of dopamine and serotonin that concerned him the most with levels this low your body probably had a host of chronic pain you didn’t talk about; like him. Your sleep patterns were probably completely out of sorts; like him. The levels most likely made it hard for you to do anything than feel the negatives in the world maybe more intensely than they actually were; just like him.

He knew the faces of the people that had pulled him apart and now he was desperate to know the faces of the people who pulled you apart just so he shove a blaster up their noses. His ears perked when he heard you rustle on the bed, looking over he could see a couple of tears leaking out of your eyes, so before he knew what he was doing he found himself beside your bed and in the process of stroking your head like Drax had done after Groot died. He watched as your head moved to meet the hand that was stroking your head, so he decided to test one more thing before drawing his own conclusions about you; the actual you. Rocket moved his hand slightly and watched as you tried to find where the source of comfort moving your head to reach for it; touch starved just like him.

You were both complementary opposites.

His trauma made him hurt others, yours made you hurt yourself and Rocket tried to swallow the feelings of guilt within himself that were bubbling to the surface, so he continued petting you. When you opened your eyes he was relieved then pained when he watched your eyes dilate in panic then fear, like you were expecting him to hurt you. Rocket was hoping the painkillers would help loosen your tongue so you both could get through the conversation you both needed but would rather avoid.

“Why’d you want to leave?” Rocket asked you softly as you finally came back to consciousness. It wasn't a tone that you were used to hearing from him nor was the soft look in his beautiful cognac coloured eyes.

After adjusting to the light in the room you stared at Rocket “You guys have Mantis back that’s the entire reason I was here remember to use my social sorcery. So I fulfilled my purpose on the ship, and was waiting for you guys to send me back. "You could feel the sides of your face begin to crease into a deep frown. Usually you’d tried to keep your less than pleasant emotions off your face but you really could give less of a shit right now. Right now everything about you pulsed painfully as you laid in the medicine bay, your head was the worst as the stress of this entire situation continued to consume you even outshining the anxiety that was swimming through your brain freely.

“Why the fuck would you think that?” The anger out drowned out the shock in his voice, why the flark would you think that you were some one use item for them to use then discard. The ghosts of similar memories flooded into his head where he was the one saying the stupid bullshit and he batted those thoughts away to focus on you. Rocket watched as your lips transformed into a cruel smirk across your face, your pupils narrowing to fine points as your irises held a biting cold to them as you glared at him.

“I don’t know after all I’m just the Terran that doesn’t know anything about space, and who gets to feel like a fucking idiot every time I come across something I don’t immediately get and you all roast me like this is common knowledge as if this isn’t my first time to the stars. This just wasn’t a good placement for me”

Rocket winced a bit at the harsh words, they had been doing that. It was the way they interacted with each other. It was sometimes hard to remember that you were fresh to space with how well you dealt with culture shock for everything that wasn’t technology related. He decided to put a pin in that thought for now “Placement”? He echoed back to you. The bitterness in what you said next was jarring to Rocket and uncomfortably familiar.

“I know I’m a stray that’s my fucking roll in life. People like to integrate me into their lives to fill a gap in relationships, they enjoy some novelty about my existence but soon enough the stray get released back and I get to add another experience to my abandonment issues”

Rocket stayed silent as he watched you roll away from his gaze “I just want to be alone with my broken brain” Rocket could smell the renewal of tears that were undoubtedly trailing down your face as he made the decision to sit on the bed with you and try some of that empathy shit that Mantis did. “Why don’tcha talk about it, I mean I’m not great but Quills decent”

“How could I to any of you, when your trauma is so much bigger than mine and mine is a statistic”

Rockets fur bristled “Why the fuck would that matter” “People have made it matter” You had tried to reach out to people of similar situations before and found yourself shut out one space after another since you didn’t rank high enough in their fucked up trauma hierarchy. You felt Rocket continue to pat your head, you didn’t have enough energy to move but you also didn’t want to move from the comforting touch. You swallowed thickly, your mouth suddenly dry before asking “Why did you leave, was it because I was terrible?” a few more tears leaked down the sides of your face and you couldn’t stand how pathetic you sounded but you hated not knowing more.

“No you were amazing” Rocket moved your head so you had to maintain eye contact when he spoke “You just hit some buttons that I didn’t know I had” You were fairly sure that Rocket was blushing and that made you feel a bit better.

“Why do you care? Most of the time before we had sex you’d seem to avoid me, you didn’t ever seem to trust me”

“It wasn’t because of anything you did wrong Kit” your heart skipped a beat at the pet name he had given to you during the incident “You were able to calm me down during times I didn’t want to be calm. When my head was fuzzy with rage you knew what to say like it happens to you”. You didn’t say anything “It is the same isn’t it” Rocket asked you with surprising softness and he could just barely hear you when you replied “Yes”.

You both sat there in silence for a moment both keeping eye contact with the other before Rocket spoke “I have a plan”

“Oh?” You were curious about what he had come up with in this short time, you were too tired to do anything but listen right now anyway.

“You seem to be shit at taking care of yourself” You snorted at the understatement of the year before waiting for him to finish “And I’m shit at taking care of myself so let’s switch”

You tilted your head to the side “What?”

“You’re really good at taking care of others but don’t really give a shit about what happens to yourself as seen in the lack of technology in your boots” Rocket felt as you briefly tried to pull your head away from the uncomfortable topic, and he would not let you do that but he made sure he was being gentle while restricting you from turning away from the topic.

“And I’m still in the bad habit of letting my brain do the talking when rage got my brain walkin, you know what I mean?”

You let out a weak chuckle, he was trying but you could tell this was hard for him to do.

“So you keep helping me with the calm down stuff and I’ll help you with the will to live stuff, a’ight? He sounded nervous but he looked at ease when he saw the smile slowly start picking up on the corners of your mouth so he added what he thought you needed most “I’m sorry I helped make you feel unwanted” You didn’t know how to respond at that moment so you settled on placing a gentle kiss on top of his forehead you always felt that forehead kisses meant more somehow, like someone was trying to show affection to your brain directly.

“If we have sex again you can’t leave without cuddling first, no after care mean no crazy BDSM style sex”

Rockets ears perked up “So sex is still on the table” He couldn’t keep the tone of cocky pride out of his voice and you couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

“I still like you Rocket that’s why it hurt so much when you left, I don’t do one night stands I need to know the person and how some kind of bond with them before I let myself enjoy myself”

Rocket was silent again so you continued “I’ll accept the offer if you can accept that my progress is going to be slow for awhile and I’ll probably backtrack a bunch”

Rocket snorted “I do that shit all the time hoping you’ll help me with that”

You smiled softly “I accept your offer Rocket”

Rocket’s face broke into a wide smile “Good I’m going to give you a kiss now” seeing that you had no objections Rocket laid a soft tender kiss on your lips without any of the sexual connotations that the last kiss had. He surprised you by placing another kiss on your forehead and that was when you knew things would eventually be ok.

Notes:

This took awhile to write and I hope you enjoyed the ending. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue posting stories but I do have more ideas for this story and a few other OC's. If you enjoyed this story please let me know in whichever way you feel comfortable to show.

[bathwaterau]

More headcanons incoming, not related to the Bathwater AU

Sponges are very sensitive to dopamine and serotonin. A big part of why simple things entertain and makes them so happy. Their threshold for the amount of dopamine and serotonin it takes to get those happy feelings is very low.

Thats number one.

Number two, and I was going to make this into a fic until this one grabbed me by the jugular.

Casinos are extremely dangerous places for Sponges, but not for the reason that you might think.

It's not the gambling.

It's the lights and the sounds.

Specifically the machines. The lights, the sounds, it all works to overwhelm and flood their brains with those happy horomones. Winning money? They could hit the jackpot and won't care, that's just more money to see those enchanting and entrapping lights and jiggles that look so pretty and sound so nice.

It really is like a drug, the most addictive kind, for them. Sit them in front of one of those machines and they will drain their pockets and bank accounts, it's really sad, if the owner is feeling particularly evil they'll open up a casino near where a bunch of sponges llive and drain them for every cent they have.

And the withdrawl process is fucking awful. Painful. Agonizing. And takes a long time to get through. They basically have to be quarintined in rooms devoid of color or anything that can trigger the slightest bit of dopamine and serotonin, because thier brains will be flooded with them all over again. They basically have to get back down to normal productions of those horomones and it can take weeks or months. Those damn casino machines are like the worst drug you can possibly give a Sponge

[vendettavalor]

@quillheel said: [ 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 ] : as sender is about to leave, receiver embraces them. // from Kim to Harry, or perhaps the other way around? up to you!

⚔️ Desperation Prompts // ACCEPTING ⚔️

No one said recovery would be easy. Harry had been told that numerous times since the start of this whole Journey to Sobriety. Mostly from the part of him that represented his ELECTROCHEMISTRY. Time and time again, it had insisted that the lows of his mental state were worse than the crashes of the bottle or the pills. Like a contemptuous toddler trying its hand at reverse psychology to get its way. Thankfully, his rapidly improving better judgment insisted that this was just a natural consequence of relying on substances to regulate his mental health for so long. In time, he would stabilize. But for now, his body had to relearn how to make its own serotonin, dopamine, and other neurotransmitters and endorphins again. The chemical imbalance still remained, even as his organs recovered from the constant, recurring bouts of toxic shock he sent them into with his abusive habits.

And today was one of those low days.

Everything had gone right. They'd solved another case. A relatively easy one this time at that. It was little more than a brief inspection, a few interviews, and the deduction that the culprit to the suspected home invasion was little more than an old canine who'd failed to look before he lept in his pursuit of a mangy feline, and crashed through a window into a woman's kitchen in the middle of the night. (The mutt was fine, thankfully - and Judit even adopted the old dog to give him a more stable home to live out the rest of his golden years in.)

The paperwork was minimal. The weather was nice. But Harry just couldn't find it in him to smile about any part of the day. Not the groggy beginning, not the exhilarating middle which held his passion for problem-solving at the forefront of his mind, and not the satisfying conclusion where everything actually worked out well for once. And now, all he could focus on was the fact that Kim was walking away. Day's work done, the lieutenant was preparing to retire and leave both the station and Harry behind. And for some reason, that made him hurt more.

EMPATHY: You could really use a hug. From him specifically. It feels like he's all you have right now. And you don't think he'd mind that. HALF LIGHT: Fucking pathetic. Of fucking course he would. Toughen up, Du Bois. ESPIRIT DE CORPS: He wouldn't. He's noticed something has been off with you all day. More than just the normal lack of mania that comes with sobering up, he's noticed that you've been generally disinterested in... everything. INLAND EMPIRE: You're not your usual cheerful, eccentric self. Not even with the things that would normally get you hyped up. CONCEPTUALIZATION: He tried pointing out a little figurine in one of the shop windows that looked like it was straight out of the era of disco. PERCEPTION: He did? CONCEPTUALIZATION: Oh, yes. It was beautifully hand-painted with watercolors and varnish, positively garish and glowing against the backdrop of old, dusty antiques around it. You would have loved it. ESPIRIT DE CORPS: You didn't even react to it. That was when he realized something was wrong. Something more than jus the usual rebound low of fresh sobriety. He's worried you might be depressed. It's been on his mind all day since. He's waiting for you to say something so he can start a conversation. You know he's not good with emotions. He prefers rational discussion, unlike you. He lacks your tact or emotional literacy. So, say something. If not to make yourself feel better, he wishes you'd at least do it to ease his mind.

Without another thought to guide him, Harry sways and stumbles forward. Clumsy arms wrap themselves around Kim, pulling him in for a warm, somewhat moist hug. It's comforting for all of a moment, as Harry's breath shudders with barely restrained ache. When was the last time he received physical comfort? He doesn't remember. And his gut tells him he doesn't want to either. Then, he immediately regrets it. There's an unfamiliar sense of embarrassment that washes over him just as the rest of his psyches begin to dogpile his sense of empathy and his gut. He didn't even say anything or ask if it was okay.

Just as quickly, he lets go of Kim and returns his arms to his sides with a bowed head. A muttered sorry escapes him and he moves to retreat back toward his desk like a kicked dog slinking off back to the shameful safety of its leaky kennel. Still lacking impulse control it seems.

Nice one, Harry.

[azure-clockwork]

Late Night Book Reviews with Bluejay — the Night and its Moon

Time: 1:43 pm

Regret: low. I was able to put this book down and finish it during the daytime

Summary: I’m honestly not sure why people like this. I’m not sold on the prose nor on the world building nor on the characters nor on the plot. If you’re one of the people who likes this novel, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but I really don’t understand why. Perhaps it will inspire me to create some stuff of my own.

Full thoughts:

I’m really sorry; I don’t want to be critical of this book, especially since I know people like it. I hope this doesn’t come off too mean spirited.

In theory I should have loved this thing. Two orphans, Nox and Amaris, experience trauma and then get shipped off to learn about their magic powers and become badass. Also, they’re gay for each other. Fantasy, magic, queer female leads, hell yeah!

The only problem was that it lowkey sucked.

One of my biggest problems with this book is its prose. It’s overly wordy, does not flow very well, and frequently is either redundant or confusing. The book will frequently spend two paragraphs hammering in a point that could be told in a sentence and then jump to another action so abruptly I keep thinking I’ve missed a detail. I was often left wondering where hands or weapons or people were located because it just wasn’t mentioned that character X picked up Y and then the next paragraph begins “Using the Y in her right hand, X began to…”.

I was also frequently bothered by the word choice. Most of the sex scenes have lines like “his stick of serotonin and dopamine entered her” and I gotta say, please just say “dick”. Please. Stop listing neurotransmitters. This is fantasy and also the bedroom. Why do these characters know what oxytocin is and why are they bringing it up now. I’m not kidding when I say that multiple sex scenes used specific neurotransmitter names. It doesn’t sound fancy, it just sounds strange. Also, ‘guise’ doesn’t mean that at all. Please get an editor.

I think a lot of other people have talked about how Nox being written as one of the only dark skinned characters and also being a succubus who kills/puppets men around after fucking then is A Choice, and I gotta say, I liked young Nox’s POV a lot, but once the book gets to the succubus section of her life I just fell off. It feels like the book is trying to be very ‘girl power’ and ‘look at this woman weaponizing her sexuality’ and it all falls very flat for me. “She’s so hot and can manipulate any man” ok please tell me something interesting. In general, I felt like both main characters were a bit like this, with Amaris being so badass and good with a sword and having powers and clearly being somewhat of a chosen one, but tbh, I have a lot more tolerance for montages about how Amaris knows lots of demon facts cuz she studies hard than I do for poorly written seduction.

One thing I really crave from stories like this, especially if I don’t love the characters, is a cool magic system. I’m a sucker for hard magic, but I also love soft, emotional magic that erupts at a dramatic moment. And I think that would work much better here in the story. Instead, this book delivers a magic system that I really can’t tell you about because it’s not really fleshed out, and what is told doesn’t seem to gel neatly into a single Thing. I feel like the magic (and more broadly, the world building in general) is just cobbled together from the leftovers of a few different other fantasy stories. Do people hate the fae or not? Is magic taboo or not? What gifts are possible? What the hell are demons? I’m really not sure. And more broadly, the map feels very empty and like it was concocted from tropes and not much else.

I just want this thing to be good. I really do. And it’s just. Not. I was at turns bored and annoyed by it and I still don’t get what I was supposed to love. I would honestly rather reread ACoTaR.

[greenunoreversecard]

This was drafted like at the begining of the month, so enjoy my rambling.

Hey guys finals are eating my ass.

We have five finals in my English class (a research paper, a creative thingy, a argumentative paper, a compiled a vocab assessment, a grammar assessment) and we only had this four day week for the research paper (which has really funky specifics btw, it's pissing me off) and I was MISSING for the two work days we had. When I went to try and work on it I got a migraine bc of a strong cologne near me, my Chromebook died within a hour (it was at 25 percent when I got there bc of the virtual appointment) I almost had a second panic attack, and now my head is still throbbing and I'm going to ✨cry✨ bc I still have to worry about my other finals but my English teacher assigned a million pieces of bullshit, but in either case, I pulled through and FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER LETS GO (we were only allowed to write two paragraphs with a weird lot of specifications but it somehow still ended up being three pages long on my Google document so I guess take my research paper now and please compliment me because I tried to talk to my mom about it because I was excited and happy about it but she just wrote me off and did not give a fuck)

RESEARCH PAPER- In what ways can excessive screen time impact development in youth?

Several case studies point to yes, that in fact, there is a multitude of negative repercussions. One study points to the fact that it stimulates the same system of the brain that develops addiction, the ‘Variable reward system’. But firstly, to understand the danger this poses, one must understand the term: it refers to the brain's reward system that can be hijacked by substances or behaviors (Such as dependence on social media) that cause unnaturally high dopamine surges. This overstimulation leads to a cycle of overactivation and desensitization, causing the brain to adapt to these artificial stimuli by reducing its natural dopamine production and receptor sensitivity. As said by one Miss Jeanne Ricci, “A variable-reward system is one in which a person sometimes gets a reward — like that warm feeling — when they do something, but not always, and they don’t know when that good feeling will come next.” (The Growing Case for Social Media Addiction, Jeanne Ricci). This excerpt highlights what has been previously stated about the variable reward system. That which is targeted by companies, particularly social media, in an effort to get more engagement, thus creating the effect of a “high” and a “low”. If we look at the same document from CSU,” What it means is that social media provides rewarding experiences that generate dopamine in the brain, the same substance produced when we eat cake or have sex. Over time, it trains your brain to want to check social media more and more often.” (The Growing Case for Social Media Addiction, Jeanne Ricci). Addiction works through the means of getting your brain dependent, and social media has done just that. With an algorithm that is highly adaptive and engrossing, it causes people, particularly youth, to become hooked and, in the long term, addicted. Particularly by playing into the reward systems your brains naturally have, such as the Variable reward system and systems involving your serotonin and dopamine production. Although people who have a codependency on social media still have the ability to exercise self-control, whereas people who have issues with substances (Alcohol, Methamphetamine, Cocaine, so on and so forth) commonly do not have the same ability to exercise self-control.

In a Modern World, we the people often adapt to the times: using the newest advancements, slang, and predominantly, the newest technology. And with the rise of technology, there comes a rise in concern; are there negative repercussions, especially for its main, and most malleable consumer, the youth of the 21st century?

This poses a danger to people, and as said in an article from BYU, “Research on screen time and its impact on child development has discovered problematic outcomes including decreased emotional regulation, increased attention deficit symptoms, decreased parent-child interaction, and lower social-emotional understanding”. (Childhood Screen Time and Child Development, Angela Webb). Because children's brain are highly susceptible to external input, and due to the rise in social media, there has been a number of side effects caused from excessive social media use in youth. It's severely impacts childhood development and causes long-term deficits and areas where children would commonly be able to operate in a higher aptitude, particularly in emotional realms, which is particularly due to the fact of social media playing on your variable reward system and other serotonin and dopamine systems. On the same note, if we look at a article from the Washington University School of medicine, it also highlight; “After adjusting for covariates, the odds were 1.28 times higher for adolescents who engaged in excessive screen-time behaviors to report serious cognitive difficulties compared to adolescents who did not engage in excessive screen-time behaviors,” (Excessive screen time behaviors and cognitive difficulties among adolescents in the United States) this shows the statistic of people who have developed cognitive and behavioral difficulties due to excessive screen time use. While it is common and possible for people to develop and be born with disorders involving cognitive difficulties and behavioral health issues due to the prevalence of social media and how they play on your neural structures, people who engage more excessively in social media are more likely to report to having issues in areas they might not have if they did not engage so egregiously in social media.

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By the time I've posted this, I will have already turned it in and all of this will have been in the past but here's a taste of what I've been doing when I've not been writing fanfiction ✨✨✨.

[jiraitenshi]

i hate people so bad, I hate the medical system so bad omfg. I think I literally just have low dopamine and low serotonin and if these were fixed so many of my problems could possibly be solved and these behaviors everyone thinks I have may not even exist?? maybe they do on top of them but maybe it could be this simple too but everyone thinks I'm lazy I'm just fucking exhausted and it could have just been dopamine this entire time I wanna explode the whole world omg

[storyweavingspider]

I want to be very clear: mental illness is not less of a medical issue than “physical” disabilities, mental illness IS physiological even if some are not well understood and/or don’t have medications associated with it.

Not all mental illnesses need to be “treated” (so much as figuring out ways to navigate the existing world while accommodating for them) but when you are untreated for a disability severely negatively affecting your ability to function at all, and there’s a way to treat it, it does not make you lesser for accepting medication as an accommodation/aid, any more than me using my cane to walk, taking muscle relaxers so my back doesn’t paralyze me, or knowing that too many stairs will cause me pain.

I also want to address: sometimes you can’t be the person you used to be prior to becoming disabled or having a disability worsen (mental or physical), and that doesn’t make you “lesser” either. To be human is to constantly change, and sometimes that uncertainty is negative to us, but it doesn’t make us no longer us whether we decide to adapt or not.

- Storytime under here -

When I first injured my back, I also had untreated ADHD. I repeatedly injured my back over the next few years and received little-no treatment for it because “you’re young, you just strained your back, you’ll get over it” from MULTIPLE doctors.

Over the course of these repeated spinal injuries, I also developed chronic inflammation throughout that portion of my spine. Over the same period, my ADHD and depression got significantly worse as well. I wasn’t sure why I was getting so much worse, as I had always been “high functioning” even with both untreated. I couldn’t manage school anymore, working was much harder, I couldn’t do any of the things I loved anymore for seemingly no reason.

A few years ago, I saw medical studies focusing on the theory that chronic inflammation, even “low grade” chronic inflammation, can negatively affect the dopamine/motivation system, and suddenly I realize why my mental illnesses have gotten so much worse - because of my physical disabilities directly affecting and worsening my mental ones.

Taking medication for your mental illness is no different than taking medications for your arthritis or your muscle spasms or your allergies. If your body is doing something that is detrimental to your basic fucking survival, it does not make you lesser or “not you” to remedy it. If your brain doesn’t make its own serotonin, dopamine, whatever, storebought is fine too and you aren’t going to be possessed by the mascot of some company for caring for yourself.

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister