#the dialogue is like embarrassingly bad

[zekreet]

i suck at writing cause i can't put myself in the shoes of someone who lives in the wasteland (too much to think about) but also because i just suck at writing

i just wanted to focus on the gays

big Joe's death sent the war boys into existential crisis muaahahahahah

i think this would take place a few days after the new rule had been established since the big three are freakin DEAD and furiosa is the alpha.. i don't know what kind of system they would have but i guess it would be pretty free. Copper and Zinc are just taking a lil night walk, i guess, contemplating things

forgive me.... i am an amateur writer.. i don't even write.......... i can't think like a war boy....... what tthe fuck is valhalla..

[caitlinbueckers]

fuck it.

caitlin clark x reader type beat

deadass this is just a mindless blurb but i CANNOT get shy yet cocky caitlin clark meeting a rivaling fan in an elevator outttt of my mind soooo enjoy (thanks @sellawrites for being my beta fr)

SLIGHT NSFW , DIALOGUE HEAVY , BULLSHIT RAMBLINGS

18+ regardless

it would come to you as a surprise. a shock, really.

it would feel almost too crazy to be true.

you don’t think you’re losing your mind or anything, which could be a super viable option if it wasn’t for the fact that you had just left the court, game fresh in mind, still wearing an oversized UCONN t-shirt, typing quickly at your phone to express your distaste with the win that IOWA just pulled over your favorite team.

the elevator doors open and close standardly— you hadn’t realized until you’d booked the hotel just how fucking busy it is, not taking into account that it was one of the nicer hotels in the city, elite only in the sense that it took a lot of fucking flight points to even book here, exclusivity aside.

it doesn’t register to you until you’re finished with an almost exaggeratedly dramatic description of the game to your friend, corner of your lips raising slightly only in jest of your words, that you manage to glance upwards, eyes flickering quickly from the back of the hooded figure, back down to your phone. well, that is, until your eyes flicker upwards again, remaining there with a studying gaze as you try to place just where the fuck you’ve seen that hoodie before, embarrassingly candid in your incessant stare—

until the figure turns, and your suspicion is confirmed, and it kinda fucking feels like karma, or maybe some sick joke from the universe that of course the hooded figure just somehow happens to be the very player that disrespected your team the most— caitlin clark.

you’re sort of gobsmacked, so it’s silent for a beat before caitlin, almost apologetically, rushes to speak.

“sorry, i just— i saw you looking, so—“

“no, no— that’s my bad, like- i just didn’t, um, realize that i like, recognize your hoodie…?” it sounds as painful as it is to say, and somehow caitlin, despite the looks of aggression, fierceness and fervor that she displays on the court, somehow melts into this weird, sort of embarrassed looking smile that makes something foreign tingle within you. it’s endearment, surely, but interest nonetheless.

“no, that’s okay— i wasn’t, like, complaining, or anything.” it’s only then that caitlin’s eyes flicker down to your tee, and suddenly, it feels a little fucking ironic. “did you make it to the game tonight?”

self consciously, your arms cross over your chest, attempting to cover the logo, but you find an awkward, sort of quiet chuckle bubble out of you, “i did,” and, because despite the fact her team sort of fucked over your favorite team, it doesn’t take away the respect you have for her because she is tough, so you even go on to say, “you played really fucking well, by the way.”

then, it’s your turn to be surprised again, because america’s hardest basketball player is fucking blushing in front of you, ducking her head like she isn’t six feet, practically demanding to be seen, and it makes you grin despite it, admiring that even now, in her claim to fame, she’s humble.

“dude, that’s- that means a lot to me, really. it was… super fucking close, but—“ she stops herself, right as the elevator dings for your floor, right as she remembers she’s talking to a person, not a conference room, and clears her throat a little. “it was… hard.” she says, and it feels so achingly honest that it makes you pause for a second, biting the inside of your cheek. “looked hard.” you remark, watching as the smile on her face returns, timid, but there nonetheless.

then, the elevator gives another warning ding, and you feel like a fucking idiot because the doors are open and you won’t just go, and leave it at that. because, when else do people just get chances to meet people like this?

the time on your phone reads 1:24 AM.

not like you had anything else to do, anyway.

“sorry, am i like— in the way…?” caitlin is almost overly apologetic as she stands aside, and you’re quick to shake your head, mostly because yeah, she sort of was in the way, but also, because you didn’t really wanna get off yet.

“no! you’re fine, um, i was just gonna suggest maybe we could, like, i dunno— grab a drink or something, y’know?”

jesus, you felt like an idiot as soon as the words are out, and you wince, eliciting a chuckle from both you and her.

you rush to explain, “sorry, that’s like— super fucking weird, i just like, fly out tomorrow morning so i just— wanted to offer, i guess?”

but for some reason, it’s mingled with the sound of caitlin’s quick reassurance, eyes wide almost as if to make sure she’s being understood, as she says, “no, no— that’s not weird, i don’t… have anything else to do, anyway.”

the answer, though only slightly backhanded, makes your lips twitch into a real smile, and you snort, shrugging a bit. “is it gonna ruin your reputation to drink at a hotel bar?”

she’s ruthless. a fighter. a winner.

she smiles again, and it’s soft, before she shakes her head, “what reputation?”

-

you both end up too fucking drunk— the bartender only a little starstruck as you both pretend under some unspoken agreement that caitlin’s name was totally debbie and she’d never heard of women’s basketball in her life. it’s stupid, and ridiculous, and somehow you want to think it’s too good to be true that one person can be so insanely talented, and somehow not be a piece of shit— caitlin seems to prove you wrong at every point.

“dude, fuckin’— god, kate’s gonna be pissed.” the words leave caitlin’s lips in a breath of laughter, the elevator shutting behind you as your hand presses to the wall for register, shoulder bumping against her arm due to the height discrepancy that isn’t totally still making something within you stir in awe.

kate martin. you’re aware of her team enough to identify who that must be, and for only half a second do you remember that this isn’t some chick you’d met at a hotel, this was caitlin fucking clark, and it fills you with a sense of astonishment, and then, weirdly, a surge of pride.

not for any posterity reasons, but because this absolute beast was fucking giggling and smiling and feverbright from the alcohol and you’re staring for way longer than you need to because, holy shit, why didn’t you realize how fucking pretty she was earlier?

“fuck it—“ you proclaimed, loopy and still a little too unsteady on your feet as you stumble, before her hand, long and firm, calloused and warm, flies out to grasp your shoulder, “my rooms like, fuckin’ empty, dude,”

she seems surprised, almost as much as you are that you’d even offered. “is that like—? are you like, sure?” and as if to make sure she has your attention, she pulls you to her, and your eyes flutter upwards, lips parted without a sound escaping because she’s looking down at you, her hair falling from its weakly tied ponytail, and she doesn’t realize that she’s holding you tight, but you can’t pull away because you don’t want to.

your response is immediate. “duh.”

she grins. your stomach flips, for the second time that night.

and really, truly, after that it should’ve been a lot more innocent. caitlin stumbles in and collapses on your bed, looking not even the slightest tired, but with a look on her face that makes you snicker out, “what?”

it escapes her in a breath of laughter, eyes lolling from the ceiling to you, standing almost idly beside the bed as your fingers caress the bedsheets, warm only from the presence of her body a few inches away.

“wish i could do this all the time.”

it makes you frown, but your lips are still upturned, giving her a look of amusement. “get drunk?”

her own hands are twiddling with each other, before she reaches up, caresses your arm with the subtlety of an elephant, tracing over the red lines she’d left on your bicep from the elevator. it makes you fucking shiver. “no, like— meet new people and stuff. just, talking to you is like— awesome, y’know…”

you don’t know, because you’re not a college athlete, but you nod anyway, leaning over her only slightly because the last vodka cranberry is settling nicely within you, and caitlin’s starting to grin, eyes hazy and cheeks pink, as you respond, soft and just for her, “consider this a prize then? winners trophy?”

she doesn’t answer, she just laughs and then she kisses you, uncoordinated and sloppy, nothing like how she is on the court, calculated and unwavering. like this, she’s loose, strong, but wobbly as she pulls you down over her, and it’s like a fucking sixth sense that you scramble atop of her, swinging a leg over her hips like you’ve done it a million times.

though, it’s more recognizable that she’s quick, her hands racing up your oversized shirt, thumbs hard as they press against your stomach, your ribcage, the lining of your bra.

she scoffs, soft and husky against your mouth, “take this shit off.” and it’s only then, that you remember cognizantly the UCONN shirt you’re wearing, and for some fucking reason, this sudden show of confidence, the liquor somehow fueling her, makes you blush.

“fuck off— “ you’re panting, but the shirt is tugged over your head regardless, a smirk on your face, “two point wonder.”

caitlin all but fucking growls, but she’s grinning, wolfish and proud, as she thumbs over your nipples, hard and pert through the lace as she presses her hips up against you, “two fuckin’— i’ll show you two fucking points.”

and she does.

maybe her post victory adrenaline had been surging, or maybe it was just all the beers she’d housed, but you’re surprised at her energy— which was stupid considering you were looking at a girl known for her endurance, her unlimited stamina.

but holy hell, she’d just rocked the fieldhouse for all it was worth— seemed like you were next on her agenda.

it’d be hard to recount all the details. you guys were drunk, and she was like a driving, pushing force— hands snuck down the front of your shorts, fingers impossibly dexterous as they curled into you, inducing every embarrassing and pitiful sound to rip from your throat, to breathe it into hers.

you probably wouldn’t remember her voice either, husky and low, gravelly with overuse, as she asks you, “hm? how’d i do tonight? tell me.” and in a sense, it’s fucking filthy. in another, it’s almost sort of sweet. the way she says it in your neck, the way she kisses you when you trip up to say, “good— so fucking good.” because neither of you are really talking about the game, and you both know it.

you pretend like you won’t remember the way she’s gone in the morning before you wake up, nothing but a warm reminder of her body on the haphazardly arranged bed, fixtures of the night surrounding you, like your littered clothes trailing off the bed, or your body under the sheets, like the pillow she’d used as leverage when she pressed open mouth kisses against the inside of your thigh, the way she’d taken you apart with her tongue and that’s all.

you do, however, remember the number she scrawls on a napkin, with an almost laughable signature that looks worlds away from her usual, coveted autograph.

instead of her looping cursive, a simple ‘cait’ sits scratched beside it, like she isn’t the award winning, competitively, aggressively ambitious beast that you used to know her as.

for now, it’s just caitlin.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM LOVE ACTUALLY *  assorted dialogue from the 2003 film, adjust as necessary

it’s the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

if you look for it, i’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.

i could just have him murdered.

thank you, i’ll think about it.

ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.

to me, you are perfect.

can you give me any clues at all?

well the truth is… actually… i’m in love.

i really want to know.

there’s nothing i can do about it.

i thought it would be something worse.

tell her that you love her.

okay, that sounds fine. bit boring, but fine.

that sounds so bizarre.

that is genuinely bad timing.

american girls would seriously dig me with my cute british accent.

they've done it. it's official.

this is shit, isn't it?

i was hoping you'd win.

christmas is for people with someone they love in their lives.

so... what's this big news then?

it was always going to be a total shit time.

oh, don't be disgusting. get out of my house.

look at the sign on the door.

you’ll always regret it if you don’t.

well, this is a surprise.

has it been a good visit?

we got what we came for.

you never talk to me. you don’t like me.

you can just show yourself out, can’t you?

do you think everybody knows?

tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do?

would you wait around to find out?

oh god, i am so in the wrong.

you’ve also made a fool out of me.

ask me anything you like. i’ll tell you the truth.

god, i wish you hadn’t turned that down.

shit, i can’t believe i just said that.

basically, you’re fucked, aren’t you?

this is shit, isn’t it?

where the fuck is my fucking coat?

thank you very much, but no.

actually, i was being serious.

it would be great if we could be friends.

it’s a terrible, terrible mistake.

you’re not who i think you are, are you?

who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?

i will miss you. and your very slow typing. and your very bad driving.

i’ll give you anything you ask for, as long as it’s not something i don’t want to give.

i’m very busy and important. how can i help you?

oh, shut your face.

actually, i don’t have to go.

true love lasts a lifetime.

so what’s this big news, then?

life is full of interruptions and complications.

oh no. that is so inconvenient.

i very much like the look of you.

send an embarrassingly big car and i’ll be there!

i never asked you how your love life is going.

the thing about romance is… people only get together right at the very end.

look at the sign on the door!

loitering around the jewelry section, i see!

a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

i think you’re not surprised.

oh my god, i’ve got a terrible stomach ache.

how will you be celebrating?

all i want for christmas is you.

you would have broken my heart if you’d said yes.

the nurses are trying to kill me.

are you sure you don’t mind me going without you?

i love you even when you’re sick and look disgusting.

did i mention that i love you?

i look quite pretty.

no one’s ever going to shag you if you cry all the time.

hello. i heard you were gorgeous.

i’ll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.

[lookingfts]

Can’t think of dialogue to go along with this, but, for the writing game: Newton meeting Edmund for the first time!

Okay, last one for a few hours. You guys sent me like 40 prompts lol, so I'll probably some later tonight and tomorrow/over the next few days, and I’ll share the ones I don’t know how to fill and they can be free for anyone to take!

I especially love this one because my friend just had a baby and she sent me a picture the other day of her corgi licking the baby’s foot. So that image is fresh in my mind.

--

Everything had been off. Things had been changing for a while – Newton could tell by Kate’s scent, not to mention the roundness of her belly that seemed to be increasing each day, until he was struggling to find adequate space on her lap. He had even been forced into the indignity of laying on Anthony’s lap when it became too much of an ordeal.

And then he was promptly carted off to stay with Aunt Eddie for several days. She was nice, and had excellent snacks, but he was still on edge. Each time he would stare at the door and whine, Eddie would simply run a hand through his hair and shush him. “It’s okay, buddy. You’ll go home soon, I promise.”

He was embarrassingly excited to see Kate again, finally, rushing toward her and slipping on the wood floor. She gathered him up in her arms, cooing over him, and he realized with a start that her belly was gone.

“It’s time to meet your brother,” Kate said, setting him gently on the floor but keeping a hand on his collar. In a strange-looking contraption on the floor laid a tiny human that looked a bit like Kate and a bit like Anthony. Familiar but new.

Cautiously, he approached the tiny human. It was not his first time seeing one; the Bridgertons were a big family, and he had wrestled on the floor with his cousin Augie many times. But this one was different. This one was his.

He licked the tiny human’s foot, and it squirmed. Kate giggled next to them, patting Newton’s head. “Good boy. Gentle. This is Edmund. You’ll help me take care of him, yeah?”

Newton yipped in agreement. More of his favorite person in the world was never a bad thing. And he was determined to be the best guardian any dog had ever been.

Pulling Newton into her newly-freed lap, Kate brushed Edmund’s hair back, making a noise of contentment. “How lucky I am to have my boys.”

[korebringerofded]

I Can See You- Joel Miller X F!Reader

Summary- Your father is the boss of a major crime family that developed after the apocalypse. Life is pretty safe and boring until your fathers new associate, Joel Miller starts coming around and he starts to change everything.

Tags- Post apocalypse, pre!Ellie, one use of Y/N?

Warnings- Age gap, mutual pining, language, smut, mostly future smut, dirty thoughts, sexual situations and dialogue. Joel being hot and protective

Words-3500

Author Notes- Definitely doing a part two for this bad boy. I promise the next one will have so much damn spice I just gotta edit lol.

Thanks for checking out my stuff! Requests are open

Reblogs and comments are very nice please and thanks

I wanna do a whole Joel series with Taylor Swift songs soon so if anyone would like that please let me know!

Please do not copy, use my work, or put it through AI without my permission or I'll be really sad about it.

As much as you would have loved to have just forgotten this embarrassingly huge crush you had, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to get the image of your fathers newest associate out of your head.

You honestly should have known better, considering the first time you heard the name Joel Miller was regarding how dangerous he could be, how rugged and cold. He had apparently been caught smuggling some supplies around your fathers territory and by the end of it all a deal was struck and just like that Joel was working for your father.

It was the first time that you came in contact with him that really doomed you to fall for him so completely. You couldn’t say what exactly it was that drew you to him at first, he was handsome, obviously, and incredibly dangerous, maybe that danger is what made him so tempting to you, he was forbidden and a part of you liked that.

The first time you met Joel in person was a few weeks after you had first started to hear rumors of him around the compound. He was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee as you stood in the doorway, a bit shocked by the unknown visitor. He was…terrifyingly handsome, sharp jaw, scruffy beard, deep pools of brown eyes that you could get lost in. His salt and pepper hair that was perfectly messy matched his casual dress, jeans, work boots, plaid shirt. You stared at him for a moment, chewing at your lip before finally saying something. As his eyes settled on you, still in your pajamas and messy hair.

“G-goodmorning, I’m (Y/N).” You struggled to steady your voice, failing miserably. 

“Joel.” He partially turned to face you, raising his hand up to wave as he gave you a polite nod before going back to his coffee. You guessed he wasn’t really much of a conversationalist and tried to shrug it off before making your own coffee and retreating back to your room.

It went on like that for a few weeks, you watching him patrol the compound through your bedroom window, running into him when you both made coffee in the mornings, passing glances in the hallway

“You can’t walk around like that!” You sighed, setting your coffee on the counter behind you as you walked over to Joel and ghosted your small hands over Joel’s plaid shirt, it was a dark green and blue and was rather well worn with tears and it had been missing the middle button for years.

“I will be fine, darlin.” Joel snorted, rolling his eyes at you as he shook his head. “I don’t have any big dances comin’ up so I doubt anyone’ll notice.” Joel took a bite from the toast in his hand as he looked down at you, admiring your curves and glowing skin. 

Damn, he really needed to get himself under control.

“It most certainly is not fine.” You put your hands on your hips, scowling at him. “Take it off, I am fixing it for you.” You held a hand out expectantly.

Joel couldn’t help but do as you asked so after he chuckled and teased you just a bit longer he was unbuttoning the remaining buttons on his shirt before tugging it off and handing it to you as he tried desperately to ignore the way your delicate hands felt against his as they brushed for just a moment.

You went back to your room holding the shirt to your chest with bright red cheeks, the fresh pine scent just enveloped you as you held it close to your face to breathe in his scent. 

Ugh, you totally were not getting creepy with this annoying crush at all.

It was the next morning and Joel was leaving his room in the compound when he felt his work boots knock over something and when he glanced down he saw a small shiny gift bag laying on its side.. He couldn’t help but grin and chuckle as he picked it up and pulled out his shirt, running his rough hands over your handiwork, not a hole or tear in sight and the missing button had been replaced with a shiny red one. It had never looked better. Something in him started to tear away then, such a small act of kindness. It just really got to him as he felt you start to warm the parts of him he had thought were cold and barren. 

When Joel stopped showing up for coffee you were more than disappointed as it had become something you secretly looked forward to everyday. The lack of seeing Joel seemed to only make your mind run in a circle of anxiety and embarrassment. He had taken up so much of your mind it was starting to drive you mad.

The next day you saw Joel it was probably the hottest day of the entire summer and you had taken refuge in the pool, a thin pink bikini covering your body, not leaving much to the imagination. It was damn hot and you honestly didn’t care, floating in the pool as you tried to ignore the blazing heat. You had been in the pool for a while, skin getting a bit pruny and eyes closed as you enjoyed the cool water.

“Hey! Care for some company?” A familiar voice made your eyes open quickly and in front of you on the edge of the pool was a curly brunette with wide shoulders and a toothy grin. Caleb, was one of the younger guards your father had hired recently and he was rather handsome, cocky and annoying, but still handsome and (most of the time) enjoyable.

“You do know if my daddy finds out your slacking off again there will be hell to pay?” You couldn’t help but giggle and tilt your head to the side. Caleb shrugged and sat his rifle down, untucking his shirt from his pants and starting to lift it over his torso. It was hard not to let your eyes wander at his tan toned body, and muscular arms. 

“He won’t be home for a while so-” Caleb’s cocky words folded into a yelp as he was dragged from the edge of the pool by the back of his neck.

“The fuck are you doing, boy? Get the hell back to work.” Joel spat, his thick Texas accent was so prominent now. Your eyes were so focused on Joel that you didn’t even notice Caleb grabbing his things and looking pale as a ghost while he ran off.

To be frank, Joel looked furious, his thick muscular arms bulged from his tight shirt as he stood at the edge of the pool, his sharp jaw tight as his arms were crossed over his chest. His dreamy brown eyes were now dark and stormy as he kept them locked on you.

It made you feel a bit meek and yet, you were also a bit pissed yourself.

“What is your problem?” You felt your cheeks getting hot as you started to get out of the pool, still dripping wet and hair reeking of chlorine as you stood in front of the scowling man. 

You hadn’t realized until now just how…huge that he was. His shoulders were broad, arms thick and rippled with muscles.His scent was thick and alluring, and being this close to him made your anger dwindle. 

“You shouldn’t be out here like this, kid.” Joel sighed, his eyes looking you up and down, his fists clenching and unclenching as his nostrils flared. 

“I am not a kid, and I really don’t need you to lecture me, old man.” You couldn’t help but jab at him, going to turn away before his rough hand gripped your arm tightly, his brown eyes staring intensely into yours.

There was a moment you were both frozen like that, his hand gripping your wrist. Joel honestly couldn’t help but rub his thumb over your wrist, gently drawing slow circles along your flesh. The water from the pool still dripped down your body and onto the pavement below, the sun beating down over your smooth skin. For a moment you swore you saw that cold demeanor melt away, for just a single moment before it was back and he was scowling again. Joel immediately let you go, turning away almost suddenly as he walked off. 

You hated to admit it but your heart lurched at the loss of contact and you stared at his broad shoulders as he walked away, wide eyed and cheeks a bright pink. It was hard to breath, hard to move as your heart beat echoed in your ribs and traveled through your whole body. You hated to admit how he was making you feel, it was confusing and sent waves of heat through your body as well as frustration.

Seriously, what was his deal?

He was really starting to take up a lot of your thoughts and the two of you had barely spoken aside from that day. It was starting to drive you nuts, you found yourself looking forward to running into him more and more as time went on. 

It would be two weeks before you saw Joel again as he was sent out on a job away from the compound (You knew better than to ask too many questions about specifics.) though you really couldn’t help but feel he was purposely trying to avoid you.

The evening sun poured into the kitchen as you sat at the counter, legs crossed as you flipped through the pages of your book. In all honesty you were desperately trying to distract yourself from thinking about Joel and his damn hands. The way he looked at you was unlike anything you had experienced before, it was intense and a little terrifying. 

You thought about those rough hands touching more than just your wrist, you thought of them dancing across your flesh expertly, back arching and breath ragged as his stubble ran across your chest and navel and lower until he was between your thighs, eyes hungry as his hands gripped your hips.

 Your thoughts were starting to consume you and you couldn’t help but audibly groan and let your head fall against the counter. 

“Uhhh..You okay there?” Joel’s voice cut through the room like a knife, his deep voice sent goosebumps over my neck and back. 

You were going to die of embarrassment, after all this time and he just shows up at the worst possible moment. 

You reluctantly sit up and turn towards him, cheeks a bit pink. 

“I'm fine- Woah.” When you faced him you felt yourself tense up. He had deep bruises on his jaw and his lip was busted open. “What happened to you?”

You didn’t really think about it, you grabbed a clean rag and walked over to him, tugging on his arm to make him sit in a chair so you can clean him up. 

“Its’ fine-I can handle myself.” Joel holds his hand up to stop you, your eyes locking for a moment. He can’t help it, your pleading eyes and trembling bottom lip made him fold almost immediately and his hand fell so you could move between his legs, gently pressing the rag to Joel’s bleeding lip. 

“It’s not ‘fine’.” You rolled your eyes, suddenly feeling embarrassed by your closeness but you focused on his lip, soaking the blood up and feeling a bit dazed at how damn handsome he was, how his thick pine scent mixed with the sweat on his brow and how that all made your heart leap in your chest.

“I’m gonna get the first aid kit- I’ll be right back.” You whispered, taking a step back as your nerves started to fully set in, this was too much, he was too tempting. If you were too close to him you were going to majorly embarrass yourself. You just wanted him so badly it was starting to fester in the pit of your stomach.

Once you returned you finished cleaning his wounds and dressing them, his breath spreading over your chest and neck as your delicate hands patched him up. You were really just too close for comfort. 

Joel was dying inside, clenching and unclenching his fists as he struggled to resist the urge to run his hands over your hips and to just fucking ruin you. He had certainly been avoiding you like the damn plague, you were gorgeous and going anywhere near you was sure to be nothing but trouble for the older man and yet…something about you kept him coming back to you, despite the dangers, despite the taboo. He just wanted you in every way. 

“All done. Now you won’t bleed all over the place.” You teased, feeling a deep sense of relief as you finally and yet still reluctantly backed away from Joel, cheeks heating up as his eyes met with yours again. 

“Thanks, darlin. Maybe you can be my personal nurse, hm?” Joel stood, smirking as he took a few steps closer, his chest inches from your face as you stared into those endless eyes of his. Joel slowly reached his hand up and brushed your cheek with a look so soft and cool it made your head spin. “See you later.” He mumbled softly before he turned away quickly and was gone just like that. 

He almost didn’t control himself there, his mind and heart racing in tandem as he willed himself to walk away, willed himself not to think about your smooth plush hips or your gemstone eyes that glimmered as they looked up at him, full of innocence and sweetness. Something that Joel, deep deep down, wanted to corrupt. He just had to avoid you at all costs. He could do that, right?

After that it was almost a month before you ran into him, and it was less so running into him and more so your father being a control freak and only allowing you to leave the compound when accompanied by a trusted guard and unfortunately for the both of you this meant Joel was given the honor of being your babysitter.

“I am 23, Joel. I don’t need you to lecture me.” You rolled your eyes as Joel took a beer bottle from your hands. You were already significantly more drunk than you needed to be, not that you would ever admit that of course.

You leaned against the bar, rolling your eyes dramatically. You had worn your tight black dress that hugged all of your curves, shiny red lips popping as you glared at the tall man, hands on your hips.

“Your daddy seems to think otherwise.” Joel shot you a glare, taking the beer bottle from you and passing you a glass of water which immediately made you groan.

“Don’t you ever loosen up?” You huffed, face heating up as you glared up at him, the alcohol burning through your veins and making you a lot more vocal and in all honesty, bratty.

“You don’t need to be shit faced when I take you home.” Joel sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, he wasn’t going to budge on this. 

“Fine. I am going to dance. You can sit here and sulk.” You huffed, spinning around and walking out into the drunken and stumbling crowd but not far enough that Joel couldn’t see. A part of you wanted him to watch.

You turned back to see his eyes staring at you in an almost predatory way and for a moment it almost made you lose your nerve. He was almost burning a hole in that dress with the heat and intensity of which he watched you. You couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the way he gripped his glass, his jaw tight as you started to sway your hips, dancing to the music. While across the room Joel watched every step, every sway. The way your hands ran over your stomach and chest, eyes low and chest rising and falling. He looked like a starved man as he looked you over, gripping his glass so hard you were concerned it would shatter.

You were much too drunk, you would certainly make a fool of yourself and yet you didn’t stop. His eyes on you made you hungry and a little light-headed. His gaze was so damn intense you didn’t even notice the man standing behind you before he tapped you on the shoulder and you turned to see Caleb, a little dazed and very drunk as you looked at him, his hair a bit messy and his typical toothy grin.

“You’re beautiful in that dress.” He smirked, going to lean forward to touch your hips before his eyes went wide and he started to back away, hands up as he pushed a few people to get away. He looked like he just saw a ghost. 

You stood, head tilted to the side as he ran off, confusion written on your face before you turned around and felt your own heart sink. Joel was stalking towards you, fists clenched and a terrifying dark look in his eyes as he approached you, getting nose to nose with you.

“I’m tired of this.” His voice was dark and gravely, it sent a shiver down your spine. 

In a swift motion Joel had lifted you by the waist, tossed you over his shoulder and started to walk out of the bar, his thick fingers holding your waist tight as he carried you out into the cool night.

“Joel! Put me down!” Your face was bright red in embarrassment, you struggled a bit but it was ultimately fruitless, Joel’s strength greatly outmatched your own.

After walking for a minute and ignoring your many, many threats Joel did eventually put you down. From the moment you saw him stalking towards you to right now you felt your blood boil in a fierce wave of anger. You ignored your trembling hands as you got nose to nose with him, tears stinging your eyes as you shoved your manicured index finger against Joel’s muscular chest.

“Seriously, what is your problem?!” You were seething as the words left your mouth, tears threatening to fall.

Joel just stared at you for a moment, the moonlight overhead was shimmering in the alleyway and illuminating your captivating eyes. Even now, as you furiously glared at him, eyes dark and angry, he was absolutely helpless to your beauty. He was fighting a losing battle with himself, he wanted to be a good man, he wanted to finish this job and get far away from you so he could stop himself from ruining not just his own life but yours as well.

“You.” He took a step forward, his eyes dark as he stalked towards you, his hands reaching out to pin you between him and the brick building.  “You are…my problem.” Joel was growling now, he was almost baring his teeth as he moved closer, his breath spreading over your neck as you stared wide eyed.

“W-what are you talking about?” Your voice was soft.

You couldn’t help but gasp when you felt Joel start to laugh, leaning his head against your neck, his beard rubbing against your skin as Joel took in your sweet vanilla scent as much as he could before pulling away. You could feel his body shake as he laughed before his deep brown eyes were staring into yours.

“Seeing you run around in that damn bikini, seeing you flirt with that douche. The coffees and those fucking eyes you keep giving me. It needs to stop. All of it.” Joel’s eyes were dark and serious, his jaw tight as he pressed his knuckles into the brick behind you. He was fighting everything inside of him. The fight between his morals and the way you were starting to make him feel. 

You were silent for a moment, looking at him with wide eyes that were glossy as tears threatened to spill down your rosy cheeks. Had you misread the entire situation?

“Why?” Your voice was soft as you looked at him, lip trembling a bit. You felt pretty pathetic.

“Aside from the fact that your daddy will kill me? You are just a young kid. It ain’t right.” Joel’s face softened a bit as he started to pull away, shaking his head as he struggled to keep his eyes on anything but you and your glimmering eyes. 

“You don’t…you don’t want me at all?” 

Those words sent electricity down Joel’s spine as you looked up at him, tear stained cheeks and trembling breath as you reached for him. He in fact did want you, he wanted you more than he had ever wanted anything or anyone.As much as Joel wanted to spare you, to allow you to stay pure and good but something in him was so damn loud and hungry for you, his internal voice was kicking the shit out of him for making you cry. He just didn’t want to hurt you.

He couldn’t take it anymore and in a quick movement Joel had you pressed against the wall again, his hands holding your hips as his mouth ghosted over yours, his breath heavy and hot against your neck as he whispered in your ear.

“I want you so damn much, darlin. So damn much…” 

Part Two Coming Soon???

[r--g--b]

got roped into watching hazbin hotel and its so so infuriating that all that money on voice talent, music production, animation was spent on...a really mediocre show? like the concept even has potential its just the writing and execution is embarrassingly bad. despite its attempts to be complex the characters feel so one dimensional and the dialogue is painful to sit through. even the music, which is pretty decent, is hard to bear because often it doesnt match the tone of the episode or the scene. it feels like the show defaults to tropes because no one wanted to do any higher level thinking on how characters should actually think and act. the show is presented as a parody but takes itself serious enough that you cant blame comedy or parody for its shortcomings.

also the designs are so functionally bad like i was shocked when i was told what the previous lives of these characters were supposed to be because its barely communicated at all visually. you pick up almost nothing from their designs because theyre so busy that the purposefully simplified background characters are more appealing than the main characters. thats not to mention how the animators are clearly struggling to stay on model because of the weird proportions. and theres no excuse for it because Villainous pulled off almost the exact same style and did so while communicating information about the characters and looking professional quality.

this isnt even tackling the everything else about the creator and the drama and controversies. i only really care about the show on its own so thats all im going to talk about. i really just needed to rant so i guess the sentiment im trying to convey is i wish this concept had been put in more experienced hands so that all this money and effort wasnt wasted. there were parts i enjoyed but it really doesnt balance out the rest of the show.

[alfiely-art]

Thinking about how the Raincode gals get seriously fucked over

Like. Out of the main cast of 22-ish characters, only 7 are girls. There's more in the supporting cast, but still- there's a majority of guys in Raincode. Which is fine! You can have a majority of male characters and still have really great female characters! But. We don't. Really get that.

We have Pucci, who's limited screentime is mostly shipping bait with Yuma.

We have Melami, who just sorta... introduces herself, comforts Yuma, then dies.

We have Shinigami, who's great 90% of the time but whenever another woman comes on screen she becomes the biggest misogynistic asshole I've ever seen, and she's the main source of fanservice (not necessarily bad, but sooo much of her dialogue and animations are Centered around that)

We have Fubuki, who gets introduced as a blue haired version of the dumb-blonde stereotype- thankfully she gets to prove that she isn't that in chapter 3, but that's kinda. It. She does help in chapter 4 but it's pretty limited

We have Martina, who shows up, barely does anything in chapter 1, kinda... embarrassingly fails in chapter 2, gets sent to her death, and shows up with absolutely no foreshadowing or buildup to arrest Yomi. That one moment is cool, but that's... honestly all she has other than her threatening Yuma and Desuhiko with a gun.

Guillaume does absolutely nothing. She tries to intimidate Yuma and the others, is defeated, and walks home. She has barely any presence in her own chapter!!!

And Kurumi. Kurumi my beloved. She's delegated to Yuma's love interest, is insulted by Shinigami every time she's on screen (and she doesn't even know!! She can't even fight back like Fubuki did!!!!) and she's just given nothing to work with, being shoved into the plot whenever Kodaka needs to remind us that Kurumi and Yuma sure are cute together, aren't they??????

A lot of the guy characters also have some of these issues, but 1. There's more of them so it's not so concentrated 2. They usually have way more going on with them anyway, ex: Vivia doesn't get much screentime but the screentime he does have is so impactful and visceral

It's just. Ourgh. Not to be an ass and compare it to Danganronpa but compare it to Danganronpa. They had mostly balanced casts, about half-and-half male and female (except our beloved nonbinary bot Kiibo) and every gal gets SOMETHING to work with. Even Sayaka, Makoto's Love Interest Girl, gets more development than Kurumi and Pucci combined. Every mastermind is a girl (Izuru was like... a co-mastermind), you get a girl sidekick, they all get stuff to do whether they're a victim or a blackened or a survivor! Two of the three traitors are gals!!! Even Mukuro, who doesn't show up as herself outside of the anime, has more she's doing. Obviously Danganronpa still has its flaws writing women but. It's just. Ourgh. Kodaka let me learn more about these gals. Kodaka. Kodaka write women normally

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 1 / FANTASY)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

#1. FANTASY/ADVENTURE (LIVE ACTION)

Common Themes of Media In the List:

-Strong female friendships

-Romance critical (or anti-romantic centrism)

-Emphasis on female-female relationships

-Warrior girls and women

-Revenge against awful men

-Distrust of male love interests

Ones I Haven't Watched:

His Dark Materials

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Paradise Hills

Crimson Peak

Outlander

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

House of the Dragon

The Nevers

Cursed

NOT LISTED BUT QUALIFIES

Pan's Labyrinth

Mary Poppins

Twilight

The Craft

The BFG

PERSONAL NOTES FOR THE ONES I'VE WATCHED

The School for Good and Evil

5/10

There were many things about it that were good. The chemistry between the two leading actresses, the primacy of friendship over romance, the effects, the costume and set design, the insane cast (Charlize Theron, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Yeoh, Kerry Washington?!) and the score. Some of the performances were good, too. The pitfalls of the film had more to do with the writing and directing. Some scenes were rushed, some dialogue was embarrassingly bad, some plot points were just nonsensical and childish. The magic system was also not well executed (though I've seen worse).

It's mostly mid, but the ending is refreshing for the fairytale genre and if you like fairytale fluff, you'll probably be more willing to forgive the film's transgressions. If you can, there'll be a lot of fun left to have with it.

2. Damsel

6.5/10

More action than fantasy and with a much smaller cast. Most of the movie focuses on Millie's character. The performances in this were pretty good, though. If you like heroines getting revenge, non-cliche fantasy stories involving princesses, and dragons, this movie is right up your alley! Also the costuming is delightful! It's predictable, but it is also entertaining.

3. Willow

7/10

This show was just fun. Fantastic effects, female heroics, tomfoolery, lesbians, action, evil forces, cool costuming, lesbians, sword-play, riddle-solving, dumbass princes, sarcastic mentors, and lesbians! This show knew exactly what it was trying to be. Aside from some poor performances, my overall impressions is positive.

4. Wednesday

7/10

I personally enjoy Wednesday Addams' character wherever I see her. Having a whole show of her was just a treat. I didn't care for the typical highschool-shenanigans (like the cliques) as much, but there were many enjoyable elements in this for me. Particularly, the effects, the crime, the other female characters, and the ending. It's entertaining and pretty to look at. Also I'm always on my wenclair propaganda.

5. Shadow & Bone

6/10

I've read the Six of Crows duology and the first book of the Shadow & Bone trilogy, so for me this show was a let down. For new watchers, however, you'll find interesting female characters, cool effects, and an entertaining (though sometimes choppy) plot. Inej Ghafa is my queen forever, regardless.

6. Renegade Nell

7/10

This is puts the fantasy in revenge fantasy. I love all the actresses from Derry Girls, and Louisa Harland is still charming in this. It's basically if Gentleman Jack (same director, I think) and Tinkerbell teamed up. Or if Little Women was also Pirates of the Caribbean but instead of taking to the sea it was highway robbery! The action sequences are so fun, the villains are nuanced (particularly the villainess) the comedy isn't overbearing (like I forgot I was watching a Disney show tbh) and the silly towel boy from Ted Lasso is here! I personally had fun. I hope it's renewed.

7. Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass

7/10 (i love these so much so it's 8/10 for me)

It sucks that Depp is in this, but I can never ever forsake my girl Mia Wasikowska. I just love these movies. I love the design, the music, the costumes, the irreverence toward marriage and romance, Alice's personality and relationship with her mother, how it tackles the pathologisation of female autonomy, the performances, etc. The books are one of my favorite books of all time so there's that.

8. Maleficent

7/10

I really loved the performances in this, the metaphor for rape, the satisfying revenge. I don't mind that it was cliché. I love Maleficent movies. AND the Lana Del Ray cover for "Once Upon A Dream." Also, the first one makes me tear up every time. The mother-daughter love is just so touching to me.

9. Warrior Nun

(?/10)

I love the premise of this show and I can get behind the characters. The protagonist just annoyed me so much so often I have taken multiple breaks and can't remember the story. I am all for imperfect, asshole girl characters. But this protagonist was just whiny and careless beyond reason. And it was taking too long for her to get with the nuns. Like I was not invested enough in her running away arc. Like sis get your ass to the coven you are not that main of a character!

She took up so much screentime when literally every other character in the show was more interesting than she was.

At least there's lesbians.

10. Snow White & The Huntsman

(8/10)

What can I say? Kristen Stewart was hot in this, as was stepmother. Effects? Stellar. Direction? Stellar. Performance? Mostly stellar. Drama? Action? Magic? All there. Thoroughly entertaining. Refreshingly anti-Disney. Unfortunately there are some annoying men involved (I'm talking about the dwarves of course) but it never gets too overbearing. This is, however, the least feminist of the entire list and scores lowest on the above common themes.

[swoomoo]

For Amare: 25, either 46 or 47, 48

For Amelia: 14, 15, 19

Thank you!! ❤️‍🔥

Hello hello! Thank you for the asks! A bit long so I am adding a button.

For Amelia:

14. How did they initially feel after being embraced? Did they like being reborn into something new or did it take them a while to cope with their new reality?

Well, she is still processing it actually! She was embraced two nights prior and her sire dipped. She has others trying to fill in that role but being a Toreador antitribu and getting serial killer desires in a matter of hours is a lot to process. I don't think she is against being a vampire though. I mean having powers is kinda cool when you have no oppressive government tell you how to use them right?

15. Are they presumed to be dead or are they still acting as though they are alive to the general public?

Very much still alive and VERY quickly learning this will need to change soon. She was trying to rekindle an old romance she lost earlier in her life and hasn't made her mind up on what she will do now because of it.

19. What are their thoughts on the Sabbat?

I mean those pricks killed a lot of her family in seconds. She doesn't know what they stand for but the anarchs seem to really hate them. Weird that her sire was the spokes person for the group when she was attacked... I guess it depends on what her sire tells her. She is unfortunately... susceptible to Sabbat propaganda.

For Amare:

25. How often do they cause a masquerade breach?

Embarrassingly a lot I guess. I know she is a cammie and trying to be a scourge but to be honest... she is the only one with a pred type that gets into trouble. It's ALWAYS with feeding so I have been feeding with our new Ravnos who is sandman.

46. What are their ambition(s) if any?

Gain power to protect Vesper. Amare has had multiple very close people to her taken away. Usually to prove a point. She made a promise when Vesper's mother died to protect him so her entire unlife is dedicated to his preservation which is rough because he is a wreck-less fool that puts others lives ahead of his own.

47. What are their desire(s) if any?

They just completed a desire to have their Ravnos coterie mate get hospitality. Their next desire will be to complete a breaking and entering mission with no snags or hangups.

48. Detail things about your OC you spent a lot of time on!

This might be a bad answer but I wrote a condensed backstory that is over 30 pages. I removed dialogue from it excluding one part to make it shorter. I genuinely have enough content on her to write a book. Beyond that I would say specifically her pre-embrace life. I spent a lot of time detailing her childhood and didn't really go into much detail on her vampire life early on. Her trauma is a huge part of her character and the fulfillment I get out of playing her.

[ddlcbrainrot]

Same anon as before yes hello

With Monika I think one thing I always remember with her is that she’s very good at saying stuff she doesn’t seem fully believe. A lot of her act 3 discussions is her acting as if she doesn’t care, that she doesn’t feel guilt, that she truly thinks the others don’t matter. But we know that just isn’t the case. If she never cared then why would she have a protein bar, why didn’t she just delete them all immediately, why did she still have them tucked away? She wants to seem like she’s this all in control mastermind but she just… isn’t. She’s doing so much to try and relate with us but no matter what there’s the part of her that cares that she simply can’t get rid of. She can make her hanging joke, but it’s mostly for us and partially to convince herself. “Oh the player probably doesn’t care, I shouldn’t either, why should I care, the player don’t think they’re real and well they aren’t, but I am.”

For me I rarely call her a full asshole not because what I think she did was right (she fucked up), but because I can constantly see her contradicting herself no matter how hard she tries to be other wise. To me, especially in side stories, Monika wants to SEEM like she’s perfect but she knows in her heart of hearts that she isn’t, that she isn’t capable, that she will never be perfect. But damn it, she has to be. Or else then no one would care about her. Monika definitely seems like she has an ego but it honestly feels so performative for me, especially when in side stories she spends so much time self flagellating herself and her issues as “silly” or “stupid”.

That’s a lot of text and idk if it’s coherent, basically yeah I just think base game Monika tries super hard to seem like some sort of uncaring bad bitch but she isn’t as much as she tries to be. In side stories she’s coming from a good place and in base game it’s a desperate place. Theres a bit of malice there, but it’s not completely her motivator.

And yeah I agree that she wouldn’t automatically become a better person, she’s got a long way. But the first step is to acknowledge the fuck up and that’s what she does after being deleted and being pissy for a bit. And also above all the stuff about her previous guilt that is subtly shown throughout act 3. God she especially realizes some shit after seeing Sayori be in her same position. So in a post game story, she knows she cares about the others and feels guilt. How does she fix it tho? Definitely agree on the self sabotage part, considering Monika doesn’t even let herself be reinstalled in act 4. Her worse enemy is herself. And how can she realize that if no one is able to call her out? Certainly not herself if she thinks it’s the “right thing” to do. It’s all very fascinating and tragic really. But shows how important it is to have other people who are equals to you and can call you out or talk to you, which side stories Monika has in abundance.

I just sent this ask so fast cause I really do enjoy some good conversations about Monika that have so much nuance. She’s so interesting cause of her multitudes.

(And well I’m someone who isn’t on tumblr at all so idk about that, unless some how my writing has breached containment dhdjr)

Monika is a gaslighting queen, even if the person who she is gaslighting is herself lmao. She is definitely not a mastermind, or prefect, even though she wants to appear this way. And she is also not dumb, she knows this. But she keeps trying to convince herself otherwise. I've made a post in the past talking about how obvious her denial is in act 3, and i dont think i need to explain it either, if you play the game and listen to her dialogue its like hilariously and embarrassingly easy to see. There is a slight resentment present for the girls in base game, but its also very apparent that she cares a lot for them even as she tries to convince herself she doesn't.

I wouldn't exactly call her an asshole either, more like... a person who can be sort of shitty sometimes. As for her ego, I do think she truly believes she knows best, and she will follow through with her plans initially without taking into consideration the others, but after she starts second guessing herself quite a lot. Her ego is very contradictory if that makes sense idk

That part about Monika being her worst enemy sums it up pretty well I'd say

(damn maybe my deduction skills aren't as good as i thought then... still i really enjoy ur asks on Monika so I'd say you seeming super cool still stands)

[theweirdgoodbyes]

hey hii. for the prompt request. For Sledgefu can I pair the Office AU and dialogue O 😄 thank you

Thanks for the ask! ❤️ @lamialamia

“Hey, Gene?”

Eugene looks up from where he’s furiously typing away at his keyboard to see Sid hanging over his cubicle with a look of concern.

“What’s up?” Eugene asks, thankful for the opportunity to take a break from his e-mail fight with Mackenzie in HR. Transferring his health insurance from his parents to King & Co.’s had been a three week shit show and Eugene was close to emailing Mackenzie back with “give me dental or I’m gonna knock all YOUR teeth out”.

“Don’t look behind you…but I’m pretty sure VS just walked out of Burgin’s office.”

Eugene stares at Sid blankly, at first not remembering what VS stood for.

“VS?”

Sid quickly looks around him before whispering sharply, “Virginity Snatcher.”

Eugene slams his hands down on his desk both in disbelief and to keep from falling out of his chair.

“No!” He cries, shaking his head furiously. No need to keep bothering Mackenzie about insurance; he’s about to jump out the window. “It can’t be him!”

“It is him. No doubt.”

Embarrassingly enough, Eugene is pretty sure the guy told him his real name, but two bottles of champagne on his twenty-first birthday left little to memory. Sid and Mary had taken him to New Orleans to celebrate five years ago, gently supporting him in his mission to finish the night a deflowered man. They had found the busiest bar in town and Eugene made quick work of finding someone to take pity on him. If you asked Mary, Eugene had accosted Virginity Snatcher on the dance floor, but Eugene remembers it as shyly approaching the very handsome man who had been giving him the eye since they walked in. One thing led to another and the guy took Eugene’s virginity in the back of Sid’s Rav-4, a magical yet blurred experience. What unfortunately stands out clearest in his head is Virginity Snatcher going in for a post-coitus smooch and Eugene puking all over him, blubbering something about being a virgin and ‘you’re so hot and I’m so sorry’.

“This is so bad,” Eugene feels like he’s gonna puke all over again, “I lost his number. I puked on him. I told him I was a virgin and never spoke to him again.”

“Yeah, I remember, my car smelled for weeks.”

“What is he doing here?” Eugene whispers furiously, not noticing Sid’s eyes widen as they focus on something behind him. He was never supposed to see this guy again, “I was never supposed to-“

“Gene, Sid. I’d like you to meet Merriell from our New Orleans branch.”

Eugene slowly turns his chair to see Burgin and Merriell standing behind him. The man formerly known as Virginity Snatcher’s jaw drops when he makes eye contact with Eugene. He’s somehow even hotter than he used to be, looking much more professional in a button up and tie than he did in the tank and shorts Eugene had met him in. They stare at each other in silence and Eugene can feel his face getting red.

Burgin looks back and forth between them with furrowed brow, “How do you know each other?”

At the same time Merriell and Eugene answer, “We don’t.”

“Ookay,” Burgin says, obviously not believing a fucking word, “Well, Merriell will be with us from here on out as my assistant. Any problems you have can go to him. Lemme show you the break room.”

I fucked him and never talked to him again, is that a problem I should go to him with? Eugene thinks, giving a small wave to Burgin and Merriell as they walk away, Merriell turning back once to look at him in confusion. Sid covers his hand with his mouth and bites back a laugh. Eugene throws a paperclip at him.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s very funny. I gotta text Mary.”

Eugene turns back to his computer, finding all his fire about Mackenzie’s bogus requests has fizzled out, replaced by dread that the guy who took his virginity is essentially his boss now.

And it’s only Monday. Fuck.

[frasier-crane-style]

Okay, that's True Grit. That's entirely True Grit. Exact same plot, exact same tone, exact same Coen-wannabe dialogue (and Tom King is no Coen Brother)... all King did was transpose a bit of a by-now-generic high fantasy/space opera setting onto True fucking Grit. It's not even that obscure a work to rip off. There was a remake in 2010. Hailee Steinfeld debuted in that movie and she's still playing a 'Young' Avenger.

Oh, but hey, there's Supergirl in the Rooster Cogburn role. That's different, right? Because Supergirl is Supergirl and not a drunken, cynical badass type?

And if you've seen True Grit, either version, you pretty much know how it goes (aside from a shock value ending that is, surprise, deeply cynical and mean-spirited). King mercilessly mischaracterizes Kara into this very 90s bad grrl caricature--she calls Superman a little bitch at one point, because he's not as tuff as herrrr--and the bad guys all go "oh, you can't beat me, you're just a girl!" Aren't we past this?

I found the premise pretty unbelievable... I know comic writers have to know up with far-fetched scenarios, since the real top-tier superheroes are unbeatable otherwise... but Supergirl has turned 21 and wants to get drunk. She doesn't want to do this with any of her friends, apparently, so she takes a barely controllable starship to a sector of space with only red suns... she can't just borrow a red sun room in the Fortress of Solitude or wherever... and she lands on this world that's a hellish dictatorship where people are killed for laughing at jokes about the king... she brings Krypto along, who is also depowered... and she doesn't bring any kind of communication device so she can call a Green Lantern or someone for help... and she's gone for months, but no one thinks to look for her.

And the villain... this is another one of the very few changes from True Grit, where the killer is just a random thug, the kind of guy you'd expect to impulsively kill someone. Here, he's a criminal mastermind that can summon up magic that nearly kills Supergirl and he almost randomly hooks up with this gang of superpowered mass murderers (who indulge in ethnic cleansing so frequently that you'd think a Green Lantern or someone would go after them--seriously, they are depopulating planets on a weekly basis) so it takes more than five seconds for Kara to rout him.

There's also a super heavy-handed segregation/racism metaphor. I mean, it is TOS, "all his people are black on the left side and white on the right side!" blatant. Like, embarrassingly hamfisted.

And this comic is WORDY. Not only is OC donut steal Hailee Steinfeld doing her Coen act every time she speaks, but she also narrates, choking every panel with multiple paragraphs of PROSEPROSEPROSE. Everything is a speech, everything is a monologue. Mike Flanagan would read this and say "hey, buddy, don't you think you're overdoing it a tad?" And there's some good art here--that's the one real positive of the comic--but it is just drowned out by King not trusting his artist one iota to tell a story.

Supergirl is given this really stock "it sucks to be Superman" angst, which we're all tired of with Clark, right? Is it really fresh to just transpose him being broody and violent onto Kara? All the cursing and casual violence would be a little more appropriate for Power Girl, but I guess that wouldn't subvert expectations like making the main character an embittered Supergirl. Clearly, we're supposed to find all this shocking and edgy, but it just comes off risible. You're really going to have Krypto the Super-Dog and dead babies in the same exact story?

And since when does Supergirl hang out with Krypto? I thought her pet was Streaky. King goes all pre-Crisis with Comet the Super-Horse showing up and really being a man with a magic spell cast on him, but he doesn't know that Supergirl's pet is Streaky the Supercat? Boooooo.

[endwersed]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by the fabulous @dear-massacre 😘

How many works do you have on ao3?

21 - it would be a lot higher, but I purged all but one of my old Destiel fics back in 2017. They weren't very good, so I can't say I really regret it 🤷‍♀️

What's your total ao3 word count?

319,994

What fandoms do you write for?

Now, just Teen Wolf 🐺

Top five fics by kudos:

Find Your Fire - Reddie (IT)

Clue(less) - Reddie (IT)

Nah, He Didn't - Destiel (Supernatural)

Worst Enemy - Reddie (IT)

as dear as a brother - Sterek (TW)

Do you respond to comments?

Embarrassingly, it's very hit and miss... I want to! I love and cherish every single comment I ever get! But I find the process of replying to comments bizarrely stressful, so sometimes it takes me... a while. And that while might be, like, years. Sorry!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely don't have anything with an angsty ending posted; I need my boys to be happy too badly for that. I guess I could say maybe striking out - just because it's not finished yet, and where it is in the story right now is angsty af!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them have rom-com level happy endings lol. Maybe Clue(less) - it's a childhood friends-to-lovers soulmate AU, so it has all the sap that comes with those particular tropes wrapped up in there.

Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't call it hate, per se - but I guess my interpretation of Stiles is a bit harsher/more rough-edged than others I've seen, and some people don't vibe with that, so I get comments telling me they don't like Stiles in my story for XYZ reason.

To be clear - I also don't write Derek as a completely faultless, entirely perfect guy. I also have him do bad (arguably worse, in some fics) things. But for some reason, I don't ever really get the same kind of comments about him!

Do you write smut?

Like, almost exclusively at this point. It's like my brain can't come up with a story unless I'll get a chance to write them fucking nasty in it.

Craziest crossover:

None, they're not really my jam.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

omg yes! years ago! It was this Destiel HS AU I had posted on AO3 (since deleted because it was... not good) and someone posted it onto ff.net and claimed it was theirs. I can't remember if I ever was successful in getting it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

All time favourite ship?

All time is so hard... I do probably have to say Sterek. I shipped them intensely back in 2012, and I ship them even more intensely now. So - yeah. Probably them.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Are we talking real WIP that I've actually made a meaningful dent in? Or just ideas I've put down to paper?

Because I have so many ideas, there isn't enough time to actually finish them all lol. But for fics I have actively started, I'm pretty confident I'll manage to muddle through to the end of all of them, even if it takes a little while.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and smut, I think.

I tend to develop a scene around the dialogue - in that, it's the dialogue that will come to me first when I'm planning the outline, and I'll note it down for when I come around to writing the scene. Then it's mostly a case of refining that dialogue and building the scene with descriptions around it.

I also love smut as character study. It's not just about being horny for them. It's about being horny for their introspection, too.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't have the imagination to come up with some of the flowery prose I see and love from other people. I wish I did, but that's just not how my brain works unfortunately!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I only really feel comfortable writing in languages I'm fluent in. For anything else, I think we all know Google Translate can't be trusted, so I just... avoid it.

First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter! Wolfstar all the way back on ff.net <3

Favorite fic you've written?

Oh god, this is hard. Let's go with a Teen Wolf fic, because they're the nearest and dearest to my heart right now.

I think I'd say feels so good inside. It was so much fun to write, and I just love loss of virginity fics so damn much.

-

Open tag to anyone who wants a go!

[ragnarlothcat]

Writing Patterns (Tag Game)

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there’s a pattern!

Thanks for the tag, @tennessoui! This is going to bring me embarrassingly far back in time (I have not been posting at the same rate I once did!) but:

“I suppose it’s too much to hope you’ve learned anything from this experience.” (knows best)

Anakin likes to think he has many virtues. (civic duty)

Obi-Wan wakes up suddenly and incompletely, his dreams clinging to him like grasping tentacles ready to pull him back under. (Only Poetry or Madness)

There’s something wrong with Obi-Wan. (from a certain point of view)

“A good feeling about this season, I have.” (The Bottom of the Ninth - technically this fic starts with a quote, but Mickey Mantle wrote that so I'll stick with my dialogue)

When Anakin wakes up it’s to the taste of mud, the ache of recent exertion and the realization that he is not alone. (Guiding Light)

On balance, Anakin must admit that the breakout of the clone wars has been a bad thing. (I'd Do Anything for Love)

It’s a dark and oppressive Thursday afternoon when it all begins. (I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good))

“I must congratulate you, Anakin.” (praise you)

It’s with visions of sugar plums and mistletoe dancing through his mind that Obi-Wan finds himself in Cody’s visitor chair one sunny Tuesday morning. (Here Comes Santa Claus)

So I've led with dialogue at least three times, which is weird 🤔 I don't remember making the conscious decision to do so, I guess I just felt like skipping the preamble? I've also started with a character waking up twice which I know is illegal but sometimes (like in the amnesia fic) it makes sense!

Tagging @renlyslittlerose, @amadwinter, @palfriendpatine66, @artemisthehuntress, @intermundia (sorry if you've already been tagged!)

[cantsayidont]

Hateration and holleration in a galaxy far, far away:

THE ACOLYTE: The unexpectedly decent ANDOR showed that a Mouse-infested Star War could still be thoughtful and even intermittently compelling, but everything since then (and a fair bit before) has been plumbing new depths of awfulness. This depressingly wretched new show, set 100 years before the movies and chronicling the adventures of former Jedi apprentice Osha Aniseya (Amandla Stenberg) whose evil twin Mae has just murdered a Jedi Master (Carrie-Anne Moss), is another for the garbage pile: unimaginative visuals (is the best they can do really warmed-over wuxia moves from 25–30 years ago?), painfully dreadful dialogue, and a who-cares plot whose clichés are too dull to be worth summarizing.

The principal cast (discounting Moss, who's killed off in the first scene) is embarrassingly bad, but such inept direction would leave even more competent actors drowning in a sea of cheap-looking CGI blandness. Worse, the story seems to lean into some of the most conceptually dreary aspects of the prequels; it feels like THE PHANTOM MENACE, from its framing of the Jedi Order as a collection of sociopaths to its ghastly racist Trade Federation caricatures. The only mitigating factor is that unlike AHOSKA or OBI-WAN KENOBI, it doesn't appear to contain any familiar SW characters to assassinate. CONTAINS LESBIANS? The Amandla Stenberg characters are from an all-female outlaw sect (and have two moms, one of them apparently trans) that's presented as ontologically evil and then genocided. VERDICT: Do even diehard SW fans still give a shit? If so, why?

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

Dialogue Prompt

4 - John & Cobalt-Team (pick your straight-man)

13 - Kelly & Fred

From these prompts - please, anyone feel free to throw me some more!

4 - "Could you not be a show-off while we're trying to stay alive!"

(Set in the Silver timeline)

Cobalt Team were among the highest-performing Spartan teams. They had been hardened into a cohesive unit since they were six years old, and it showed. Ice water ran through their veins. They were efficient, they were precise, and they were deadly. Unfortunately, even the best of the best had bad days.

This was a bad day.

They'd been scouting ahead for an extraction detail - yet another in a long list of embarrassingly meaningless tasks ever since Silver Team had dropped the ball and made the entire SPARTAN program a liability in the eyes of the Powers That Be. For this particular mission, Silver Team was even sent along. No one knew why not one but two Spartan fireteams had been assigned babysitting duty, but then... they weren't the type to question orders. They'd leave that to John and his band of misfit toys.

Cobalt had just split off to check a new NAV marker when they came under fire. It took only a matter of seconds for the grizzled soldiers to realize that they were well and truly surrounded - and in deep trouble to boot.

"Elite, nine o'clock," Cobalt's leader, Val-015 called out stoically. He put a three-round burst into the towering alien's center-mass. Its shields flared brightly, then cracked. Yaz-112 put a single round from her DMR through the creature's skull, its dark blue innards spraying outward in a fine mist.

Val shifted his aim. "Cobalt Three, half a dozen jackals creeping up the right flank."

"I see them, I see them!" Karim-002 barked. He distracted the vaguely avian creatures with a few burst from his battle rifle before lobbing an M9 fragmentation grenade over top of their shields. A second and a half later, their angry squawks were silenced permanently.

Cobalt were good at what they did. Quick. Efficient. Deadly.

As Val consulted the dozens of incoming enemy contacts on his motion tracker, it suddenly dawned on him that it wouldn't be enough.

"Where's Silver when you need them?" Karim asked no on in particular as he knocked down a trio of Grunts with a few well-placed shots. "John's always around to act like he's the be-all end-all of hardcore soldiers, but when you actually need him? Something better always-"

Whatever Cobalt Three had been about to say was lost in the violent report of a Condor's chin-gun. The dense foliage around the fireteam erupted into shrapnel and neon-colored plumes of blood as the UNSC dropship rose seemingly from nowhere and began to burn down the encroaching enemies.

The carpet-fire was enough to give Cobalt a brief reprieve - and then the Condor was spinning around, its gangplank hanging open and waiting to receive them. Karim groaned audibly when he recognized John-117 standing on the lowered ramp, one arm outstretched heroically.

"Come on!" the Spartans' squad leader bellowed, firing an M6 into the woods.

Cobalt scrambled onto the Condor, both Val and Yaz allowing the Chief to help them aboard. Karim stiffly refused the other Spartan's help, opting to fling himself into the hovering dropship under his own power.

Once the troop bay was sealed tight and they were headed back to their carrier, John made his way to Karim's side.

"Are you injured, Spartan?" he asked, his voice surprisingly gentle for the man who had become so synonymous with warcraft that the UNSC had all but painted him as their mascot.

"I'm fine," Karim snapped. Then he sighed heavily, staring at his boots. Finally he lifted his eyes to glare at John's visor. "Just... could you not be a show-off while the rest of us are trying to survive?"

John stared at him in silence, the small twitch of his head the only indication that Karim's annoyed request had any effect on him. "Sorry," he finally said, his tone heavy-laden. "I'll try not to in the future."

From the cockpit, Vannak-134 and Riz-028 laughed loudly.

13 - "I would rather be kissing you right now."

The UNSC Infinity was the greatest warship the UNSC had ever constructed. She was sleek, she was fast, and she was just as powerful as the most impressive weaponry the Covenant had ever managed to bring to bear.

Not the least impressive attribute of the Infinity was her Spartan Deck. S-Deck, as it was known by the ship's crew, was stocked with enough Brokkr System machines and training materials to keep an entire company of Spartans happy... and Blue Team was certainly taking advantage of that.

Kelly-087 in particular was enjoying herself immensely. With the Infinity's 'War Games' simulator, the fastest of all Spartans had finally found herself a worthy challenger: a training relay that combined all of the thrill of a life-and-death combat scenario with all of the competitive triumph of being able to run simulations over and over again until her need for perfection was finally satisfied.

"This is incredible," Kelly said excitedly between rounds. Blue Team had just sent Fireteam Boxer to the showers, thoroughly humiliated with their poor showing against the veteran Spartans. Next up on the chopping block was Grindstone. She couldn't wait to rub the upstarts' faces in her own squad's superiority.

"I couldn't imagine a better way to spend our day," she continued, jabbering excitedly. "Teaching these kids how real Spartans operate, only to line them up and knock them back down the very next day."

Although Blue Team held immense respect for the Spartan-IVs, it was undeniable that they all got a very real sense of satisfaction from knocking down the younger generation down a few pegs from time to time. While John and Linda smirked and nodded their concurrence, Kelly noticed that Fred merely cocked his head to one side curiously, and said nothing.

Curious herself, the Spartan leaned closer to the man. "Something wrong?" she asked quietly enough that only he could hear, studying his expression. They were close - close enough for her to feel the heat radiating off his unhelmeted head and to count the flecks of blue pockmarking the green of his eyes. Close enough that she could smell his breath, still minty from his toothpaste, and could see each tick and shift in his familiar face.

Fred glanced over at her and grinned, dimples forming small valleys in his cheeks. "Not a thing, Rabbit," he said with a twinkle in his eye that he seemed to reserve only for her, in moments like these when no one else would notice. "I was just thinking that there's at least one thing I could be persuaded to do instead of this."

Kelly shot back a grin of her own, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "And what might that be, LT?" she prodded.

"Nothing too important," Fred answered, his smile slowly transitioning into a smirk. "But I'd rather be kissing you right now."

With that, the Spartan slid his helmet back into place. "Time's up," he called out, turning his back on Kelly and slinging an MA5D over his shoulder. "Grindstone's waiting for us to show them up yet again... I'd hate to disappoint."

Kelly watched him confidently march away, her jaw dropping open ever-so-slightly in shock. Then, mustering all of her will-power, she closed her mouth with a click of her teeth and resolved to focus on the upcoming simulation. It wouldn't do her any favors to waltz in unprepared. But, she promised herself, she was definitely going to take Fred up on that offer.

Sooner than later.