#the deer has no chance

[lesickun]

A wife is the most effective defense against a dumb deer.

[Saphic Seraphim]

[arolesbianism]

GUYS.

New dupe real! Also new pod????? Olivia is that you girlie speak to me

[villainsidestep]

not to be insane but. thinking abt farmdog giving up their name…..

[oriorchids]

fear the deer or smth idk i’ve had this game for 2 weeks and it’s consumed my brain

[la-hannya]

*Getting ready for their first time*

Kirinmaru: Well, do you want just one or both?

Midoriko: I'm sorry?

*motions*

Midoriko: Wat

🍆🍆

[mantha-has-fallen]

Another reason to just hit the deer: insurance. If your only option is to hit something, you're going to end up talking to your insurance company anyway.

Hitting a deer isn't considered a collision. Hitting a car while avoiding hitting a deer is. Even hitting a tree trying not to hit a deer is. You're not at fault with the deer, but you are if you hit the car or the tree. Accidents involving a deer are covered under comprehensive insurance. Accidents involving other vehicles are not. Accidents involving trees are not (unless it fell on your car and wasn't your tree).

If you were the insurance company that had to pay for the repairs, what would you rather pay for: A dented but salvageable car that hit a deer, a heavily dented and likely totaled car that hit a tree, or two totaled cars that hit each other head-on?

I'd choose the deer too.

(And if it's a moose, good luck. The damage from hitting a moose is that their weight goes on the roof of your vehicle, because their legs are long enough that the crumple zones on your car will ONLY hit the legs. And animals tend to fall when their legs are swept out from under them. Your best bet is trying to clip the rear end of the moose, so that their weight hopefully won't go on the car. And so their antlers don't go through your windshield, if it has them. Hitting the ditch or even the tree while avoiding the moose would probably net you less damage to your vehicle, but you'll be at-fault for those accidents)

Deer season is upon us.

1.) Wear your seatbelt.

2.) If your choice is swerve at high speed or hit the deer you plow Bambis mom like you’re an IT specialist with a secret Twitter account and it’s anthrocon weekend.

Deer are softer than trees. Deer are softer than rolling your car 8 times.

[talesoftheclaninthemountains]

Moon 12

Deerscreech basked in the sunlight outside camp, enjoying the warmth of the sun. That was, until he heard an eagle's pitiful screech over head. He knew the eagle wouldn't try and grab him, as he made sure his antlers were sharp. But what caught his attention was how the eagle seemed to circle over a specific spot. Curiosity got the better of him, and Deerscreech stood up to walk to the spot the eagle was flying over. Only for him to see a she-cat defending her kit, who was hiding behind his mother. Deerscreech's eyes narrowed and as the eagle began to swoop, he charged. A swift slash of his antlers sent the eagle fleeing, and the she-cat stared at Deerscreech, "You...you're one of those clan cats, aren't you?"

"I am, this mountain is Crystalclan's territory," Deerscreech replied.

The she-cat looked to her kit, then suddenly shoved the kit to Deerscreech, "Please...take my son. Take him to your clan. His father already died defending him, so take him and make sure he survives."

"But mom-" The kit started.

"Hush Dark," The she-cat hissed, "This is for your own good."

"Hold on," Deerscreech began, but the she-cat turn and ran, gracefully moving through the rocks of the mountain. Deerscreech looked down at the kit, who looked up at him with dark blue eyes. "So...your name is Dark?"

Dark nodded, "Momma said I couldn't stay at the group anymore."

Deerscreech carefully wrapped a tail around the young tom-kit, "Well, you have a place in Crystalclan," He promised.

------

New Cats:

Darkkit - A black smoke tom

Egret - A young loner she-cat with a deep starclan bond

[lilitophidian]

Me or Alastor ?

Accepting ; Send two names and my muse will say which they’d rather kiss.

" Hadn't I already addressed this question? I do not see the need to express it again. "

[tacticalprincess]

könig: ovulating all by yourself beautiful? <3

cw breeding kink

given the poor state of sex education when he was in school and his very minor interaction with women prior to you, könig was relatively clueless about almost everything to do with a woman’s menstrual cycle, besides the obvious bleeding aspect of it all. needless to say he was mind blown to find out about all the different phases, looking like a deer caught in headlights when you explained how much it fucks with your hormones on and off your period. he was literally the epitome of “just found out about periods… i’m so sorry women.”

ovulation was what he was most intrigued by, and not just because he’s always felt an overwhelming biological inclination to have you barefoot and pregnant with his children. all he knew was that once a month for a few days, your sex drive was insatiably high, and even the slightest of things he did triggered it. just the sight of him lounging on the couch was enough to have you jumping at him, pawing at his sweats and complaining that he was making his lap look too inviting.

you would be practically glued to his cock, sometimes to the point of frenzied and feverish. he could barely get anything done around you all glossy eyed and horny; he swears it’s almost as if you wanted him to stay inside you forever. he, of course, has no objections to this. it’s always a pleasant change from the snippy mood you’re in for a few days straight just a week before.

you don’t have a problem getting wet as it is, but during these days you get so creamy, and könig never gets tired of watching the way your pussy coats his dick in thick, pearly stickiness. the sex is always the most primal and dirty during your ovulation phase. telling him that your period tracking app warned you that your fertility is especially high that day would be like foreplay for him, and nothing made his caveman brain happier than to hear you cockdrunk and babbling about how bad you wanted to make him a father, begging him to breed your fertile womb. you can’t say stuff like that unless you mean it, maus, lest he rip the condom off and put a baby in your pretty pussy for real :(

you were both chancing it, fucking like bunnies on such high risk days. but it wasn’t like könig wouldn’t be ecstatic if it so happened to take…

[monstersholygrail]

You, a cute Deer hybrid foolishly make another attempt to get away from your Tiger hybrid bf’s grip while his tongue ravishes you in the name of “grooming.” You huff, slumping against his paws that encircle your body.

He chuckles darkly, the sound sending a chill down your spine. You try as hard as you can to not appear as aroused that you are by it, but when you hear him inhale sharply you know he’s picked up on the scent of lust that seeps from your pores.

“It’s no use trying to get away from me, mate.” You can’t help but whimper, the jittering buzz of restlessness coursing through your pent up body.

“I wanna run,” you whine, looking longingly toward the grassy distance even as you arch into his embrace. A part of you resisting possibly because you know how wound up it makes him.

A second later the tiger’s prickly tongue resumes its course of lapping up and down your exposed throat and you shiver, resisting a pleased sigh that begs to be released. A rumble passes through his chest as he soaks up your warmth, his protective instincts roaring to life at your irritating insistence.

“If you run then you get dirty and then you will be right back here in my enduring embrace with no chance of escape,” he growls, not completely hating the idea for a moment. The idea of caring for his mate’s body as much as he wrecks it an intriguing one. So why not do both?

Even with his warning you don’t stop your wriggling. Of course you don’t. Not when the urge to run and burn off your energy is pumping through your veins. You don’t even notice how your endless squirming has you grinding into your bf’s dick, causing it to harden and stir to life. Bringing forth its need to hunt and make its prey submit. He rumbles huskily in your ear, jerking forward and pinning you down with his hips.

“Stop your moving this instant or I’ll make you,” he threatens with that deadly rasp in his tone that would’ve had you baring your neck for him in an instant if you were paying any attention.

Your damn squirming doesn’t stop and it’s even worse now that his aching cock is nestled right between your plump thighs. His red bulging tip dribbling pre-cum. The fact that you don’t even notice as it leaks down onto your exposed slit is his last straw.

“That’s fucking it. You’re done for.”

Chilling noises leave him as he leans back and yanks your ass up into the air. Flipping your dress up and fully exposing your glistening pussy to the cold air as you help in surprise. That yelp quickly growing into a full-blown cry as before you realize what’s going on, your bf slips his entire length inside your warm wet cunt in a single thrust.

He doesn’t bother waiting for you to adjust before he starts slamming his cock along your quivering walls. His claws digging into your fur to keep you perfectly still for his onslaught. You hadn’t given him a moment of relief and he plans on affording you the same courtesy. Growls tear from his throat at how tight you are, especially as your pretty pussy clenches down on him like the good Doe you are.

You moan wildly, your body buzzing as it finally gets the exercise it truly needed. You try and meet his thrusts but your bf roars in protest, his claws sinking deeper into your flesh. Snapping his cock inside you with brutal thrusts, using your body like a fleshlight. Fucking into you with no restraint and unleashing all his pent up frustrations on you. Just like him your climax sneaks up on you and completely overwhelms you with endless shocks of pleasure. Your body shakes as he doesn’t stop, prolonging the buzzing inside you and you have a feeling he’s not gonna stop for a long time…

With each orgasm that wracks through your form, your body grows weaker. The only thing keeping you upright anymore is your bf’s claws still sunk into your hips. Drool pools from your lips as he pumps inside your pussy just right. Clearly aiming for his own release as few thrusts later he’s spilling himself deep inside you, filling your spent cunt to the brim with his cum. A sweet little reward for how good you were for him.

“Look at you. So perfect like this,” he says in awe, his claws scraping up and down your back in a way that has you moaning weakly.

Your body is so perfectly still, your mind completely fucked out. He now has you exactly how he needs you. With you no longer able to move, your bf leans over you, cock still fully sheathed inside you, and resumes his grooming. This time with no interrupts besides the occasional whimper.

[buckyalpine]

Bucky knows you’re faking

Bucky knows you’re faking. He has no idea where you met this guy or why you’re still with him, in fact Bucky almost feels sorry for him. Because this guy thinks he’s doing a good job. He thinks he’s making you cry from pleasure, he thinks he’s pulling orgasms from you left right and center but Bucky knows.

Becuase he’s heard you. Fucking smelled you.

In your room, all by yourself.

He hears every moan and whimper, all those noises you can’t hold back. The filthy squelching of your pussy making a mess on the sheets is a sound unmatched. You always smell so good after and he can’t get over how soft and sweet you are, all fucked out with a quiver in your voice, not realizing he knows exactly what you’ve been up to with those pretty fingers between your legs.

He’s seen the way you practically glow afterwards, a shy smile on your face, acting like you weren’t moaning like a bitch in heat minutes ago. Always when it’s well past midnight, coming down for a snack, a thin sheen of sweat still covering your skin. He’s usually in the kitchen, having to pretend his cock isn’t aching after hearing how pretty you sound, how desperate and loud you get when you think no one can hear you.

But he can.

Bucky grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, smirking when he heard your less than enthusiastic sounds and silence a few minutes later. He watched carefully as you made your way into the kitchen with nothing but a flimsy robe covering you, eyes growing wide when you realized you weren’t alone.

“Have a fun night?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, struggling to keep his eyes on your face and not the loose knot, so close to letting your robe fall open, giving him access to that pretty body-

“Oh-yes” you shrugged, suddenly feeling hot all over realizing Bucky had probably heard you, “I-um-I don’t think I’ll see him again”

“Why not” Bucky prodded, his curiosity piqued, self-restraint faltering, he couldn't hold back, not when that poor excuse of a robe was begging to be ripped off. “He can’t make you cum, can he princess”

“What?” You stared at Bucky like a deer caught in headlights, frozen on the spot, mouth gaping while he chuckled.

“I said-” he got up from his place at the kitchen island, biting his lip while backing you against the counter, your eyes growing wide feeling his hard, poorly contained bulge press onto you. "He can't make you cum? Can he?"

“I-" You stammered, gripping onto the edge of the counter, surely you were dreaming, there's no way this was really happening, all the fantasies you've thought of coming to life-

“Oh baby” Bucky cooed at your flustered state, tilting your face up to meet his eyes, “Don’t get all shy on me now bunny. Was that it? Did he make you cum?”

You shook your head, still nearly frozen like a baby deer, whimpering when Bucky groaned, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Knew you were faking it princess, I've heard you, y'know" Bucky smirked at your gasp, clearly mortified that he'd heard you during your most intimate moments. "Y'sound so pretty when you touch yourself baby"

"Bucky" You whined, not sure what you were begging for, arousal pooling between your legs, spreading your knees slightly to press yourself against his thigh.

"Tell me to stop" his jaw was clenched, gripping onto the single strange of restraint he had, his fingers toying with the knot of your robe.

"D-don't stop" You let out a shuddered breath, shivering when your robe was thrown off before you could blink, Bucky's lips smashing onto yours. His hand gripped the back of your neck, his tongue claiming your mouth as his, teeth nipping and sucking your lip. He lifted you onto the cool marble counter with ease, metal fingers swiping through your folds, gathering your slick before shoving them in his mouth, groaning at the taste.

"You're fuckin' sweet bunny" He didn't give you a chance to respond, prying your thighs apart and dipping down to lick a fat stripe through your soaked cunt before latching onto your clit. You cried out in pleasure, his wide shoulders keeping your legs spared apart.

"B-Bucky!!" Your head was thrown back when he shoved two fingers into you, curling and fucking them into you, moaning when you grabbed onto the roots of his hair, tugging harder the closer you got.

"Already sound so pretty baby" He let out a dark chuckle, kissing your pouty face when he pulled away just before you reached your high, tugging down his sweats to pull his cock out, "Bet you'd sound even better when you're stuffed, hm?"

"Please" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, practically humping yourself on him, desperate to be filled. His cock was curved towards his tummy, the swollen head dripping with precum. There was something about him still being fully dressed while you were stark naked in the middle of the kitchen that aroused you more, knowing damn well anyone could walk by at any given moment.

"You need a fat cock to cum around, don't you bunny? My bunny's such a little slut, she can't cum unless she has a fat cock fucking her brains out?" He taunted, loving the way you were nothing more than a babbling mess already, moaning when you felt his tip catch against your fluttering entrance.

"Please Bucky, need it"

"I know baby, I know, my poor baby needs cock, doesn't she" His eyes locked with yours as he started to breech your tight hole, your breath catching in your throat at the stretch.

"Breathe, s'just me baby, swear you got my cock so hard-shit" He hissed as he pushed himself to the hilt, pulling out at an agonizing slow pace, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Faster Bucky, please-please need you" You tried to get him to move but he shook his head, feeling you flutter around him.

"First tell me what you call be princess, what do you call me when you're all alone with these sweet fingers"

Had Bucky not been holding onto you, you would have fainted; you had no idea he'd also heard the nights where you desperately moaned and came over and over again thinking of him. Bucky smirked against your skin, slowing down the drag of his cock again, snapping his hips suddenly making you squeal.

“C’mon darling, what was that you called me”

“DADDYY” you wailed, wrapping your thighs around his waist when he stated to pound you with a bruising grip around your waist, the clinks of glasses in the cupboards growing louder the harder he fucked you on the counter. "OH-GOD-D-DADDY"

"That's right, daddy's fuckin' you baby, makes me so hard when you call me that" Bucky groaned, thrusting faster, already on the brink of an orgasm. He could feel his cock swell each time you moaned or whimpered, his hand sneaking down to rub your clit.

"N'look at this precious clit, s'this what you're always playing with baby? Always rubbing this needy little button, thinking on one can hear you?"

"F-fuck Buckyyyy" Your eyes rolled back, tears streaming down your cheeks when he rubbed you faster, your first orgasm choking his cock without warning. You couldn't formulate words, letting out silent screams, blinking pleasure consuming you.

"That's it baby, moan for me, cum for me, cum for your daddy baby, know you've never cum for anyone else, go on n'cum for daddy, make daddy proud" Bucky looked feral, grunting with each thrust, desperately holding off his own orgasm, needing to feel you cum around him over and over again.

"OH-DADDY-D-DON'T ST-STOPP"

"Look at you baby, such a good girl for daddy, giving daddy all of her cum" Bucky's eyes were wild, staring at where he cock split you open, his length and trimmed hair covered in your creamy mess. "Daddy wants all of his baby's cream sweets"

"OH FUCCCKK" You wailed, your juices squirting all over his crotch, making it impossible for Bucky to hold off any more as you clung into him.

"So fuckin' proud of you baby, made daddy's cock feel so good, y'know that? Y'make daddy so hard, so horny, you're gonna make daddy cum so hard angel, m'gonna cum so hard for you, Fuck-gonna fill you up bunny-take it-take my cum-fuck-FUCCKK" Bucky roared against your neck as streams of cum started to fill you, his cock throbbing and twitching inside you. You were limp in his hold, passed out from pleasure, your combined mess dripping down your thighs and onto the floor.

You didn't even realize you were tucked under the warmed blankets, wrapped up in a pair of thick, muscular arms, Bucky's large chest acting as a pillow. You nuzzled into him while he softly petted you hair, blissfully unaware it was just the start of a very long night.

[hells-telegrammy]

Vox and Alastor as romantic rivals.

Rivals by day, rivals by night.

- You're so screwed.

- People always wonder how you managed to snag TWO of Hell's biggest overlords

- Alastor and Vox ALWAYS make their quarrels public

- especially if it's concerning you

- Alastor has no shame, openly courting you in front of hundreds of sinners. Sinners would grab their phones and snap the scene, and eventually those pictures would reach Vox.

- Alastor's plan exactly.

- Ironically, Vox on the other hand, HATED sharing you with his viewers. He would air any and all dirt he could get on that insane red deer, but HATED and REFUSED to share any media regarding you.

- Vox thinks you're too SACRED to be shared to filthy slave viewers

- People are scared shitless to go near you in public. They KNOW you - you're Vox and Alastor's current obsession.

- people avoiding you like the plague

- Surprisingly, Vox puts more effort in actually pursuing you, while Alastor persuades you with fear.

- "As expected, Alastor doesn't know jack in romancing." Vox would say on-air, "He's ugly. He's outdated. He smells like grandma cardigans. That's one for me, and zero for him."

- He takes any chance he gets to be with you when Alastor's away or busy. He's almost desperate, because he knows how much Alastor loves to interfere.

- Vox doesn't even UNDERSTAND why Alastor has taken a sudden interest in you. He thinks, maybe it's to piss him off. Of course it is.

- But Alastor's interest is genuine, YOU intrigue him. YOU are his latest entertainment, besides the hotel.

- He's not so fond of being intimate, he mostly does things to you (eg. being affectionate) to piss Vox off, but he's serious about keeping you.

- Once he's had his fun with Vox, he'll whisk you away, and you will be his.

[rafey-baby]

hidden

outlaw!rafe holding pogue!reader hostage in her own house after banging his fist on her door in the middle of a stormy night, demanding to be let in with a gun in hand and wild waves in the sea of his eyes…

c/w: rafe being manipulative, mentions of murder & violence, he’s also weirdly soft in the end? 18+ mdni!

wc: 2k

he’s been stuck in my head for a while so hope u enjoy xx

series masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There’s still sleep dust lingering in her lashes when she hesitantly cracks open the door at 3 am—revealing a tall, scary man with scarlet stains on his hands, white button up saturated in maroon and a scowl painted over his unsettling countenance.  

She stands there like a deer in headlights, unmoving while he looks down at her with arctic eyes as chilling as the frigid waters surrounding an iceberg. And at first, she thinks she’s still asleep, tired brain conjuring up some creepy murderer scenario where she’s the idiot who does everything the audience in the movie theater is screaming at her not to.

But as she properly blinks her sleepy eyes open, she comes to the realization that this is not a horror film and this intimidating stranger (with oddly appealing features) who’s definitely just killed someone is very much real.  

She’s about to open her mouth— unsure whether to scream for help or simply stare with her mouth hung open in shock, but she doesn’t get the chance to find out before he’s pasting his massive palm over her lips.  

“Don’t make a sound,” his low mutter makes a shiver run down her spine. And she doesn’t, instead she just blinks, too out of it to move a muscle— the reek of the dried blood on his hand hitting her nose and making her face scrunch up.

She doesn’t know why she’s not putting up any sort of a fight, blames it on the fact that half her brain is still swimming in the lake of her dreamland— soaking up the glittering sunbeams that never dull and dipping its toes in the grass that consists of misty nebula and twinkling stars. 

And he’s just so mean, manhandling her to his liking and ordering her around with a gun to her head; grumbling about needing a hiding place from the cops after dumping a body somewhere in the ocean and getting caught since apparently, his temper really just got the best of him at times.  

“Didn’t mean to kill the guy, alright? He jus’ kept bein’ a bitch ‘n pissin’ me off— I mean, I was, uh, I was provoked, what was I supposed to do?”

However, his explanation seems to do very little to soothe her overstrung heart that’s thudding in her ribcage; loud enough for him to hear and earning her an exasperated roll of his eyes.

“M’takin’ a shower now ‘n you’re not gonna move an inch, you understand? Cause if you do…m’gonna have to— m’gonna hurt you ‘n I don’t wanna do that, okay?” 

She merely nods her head, unable to string together a coherent sentence, and he takes note of the way her inhale gets caught in her throat when he takes a step closer. “You, uh, you live alone?”

She offers another nod of her head.  

“Dumb girl”, he tuts, shaking his head in disapproval. “When someone’s knockin’ on your door in the middle of the night you don’t— you don’t fuckin’ open, alright?”  

She’s making it entirely too easy for him.  

However, the second he’s in the bathroom, she forces her exhausted brain to think— hurriedly coming up with a rickety plan while she listens to the water streaming behind the door. She waits for only a a few seconds to make sure the coast is clear before she’s bolting towards her bedroom; trembling fingers grabbing her phone from her nightstand and trying to dial 911.  

Unfortunately, her shaky hands aren’t of any help when they clumsily drop the phone— the clattering sound of it hitting the floor echoing in the quietness of the room. And suddenly she can’t breathe.

Her brain short-circuits as she bends down in an attempt to reach for the wretched device that has somehow tumbled under her bed. However, when she finally catches it in an unsteady grip, she hears the shower turn off— an eerie stillness following. In her state of panic, she attempts to turn the phone back on and call for help, but it’s proving to be rather difficult since her lungs aren’t working and her heartbeat is ringing in her ears.  

“Boo,” a low whisper right behind her makes her flinch; a faint gasp leaving her while a shiver travels down her spine.

“Why’d you jus’ do that, huh? Told you I didn’t wanna— didn’t wanna fuckin’ hurt you ‘n then you go ‘n pull this shit,” a strong hand grips her by her throat when he turns her around to face him.  

“M’sorry, I— I don’t—” she’s paralyzed, respiration shallow while her blood runs cold.

“You don’t what, hm?” he stares into her horror-stricken eyes with an almost bored look, seeming to be entirely indifferent to her torment. 

“Can’t…can’t breathe,” her voice is nearly inaudible.

A grim chuckle bubbles from his chest in response. “Can’t breathe? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before, yeah?” he scoffs, cruel words mocking her.  

“You’re so fuckin’ stupid— want me to kill you? That what you want?” he grits out, squeezing her neck harder; making her feel dizzy.

“No! No, please. M’sorry…m’sorry, won’t— won’t do it again, promise, I’ll do anything—” she manages out, desperately gasping for air because he’s nearly crushing her windpipe in his unrelenting grip.  

“Anythin’ huh? That’s, uh, tha’s real temptin’ ‘n all but what I need you to do is not pull stupid shit like this, you get that?”  

“I won’t, I promise. You can, um, stay here for as long as you want and I’ll help, okay?” she thinks she’s going to pass out soon— little stars already peppering behind her fluttering lids and her weakened limbs beginning to feel heavy.

His coarse panting fills the room while he seems to contemplate her offer. “If you even think about runnin’ to the cops tonight, m’gonna fuckin’ find you, you understand?” 

She frantically nods and at last, his hold begins to loosen around her trachea, allowing for her greedy lungs to finally suck in air as she takes a step back in an attempt to even out her respiration.  

He doesn’t say anything for a moment— silently observing her while she clears her throat and swallows a few times, trying to pacify her racing heart and the thoughts running around her brain.

Then, she blinks up at him, noticing how he smells like her honey-scented body wash and orange blossom shampoo— nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips, leaving very little to her imagination as the room grows quiet.  

Once she feels the flat floorboards under her wobbly feet again, she tries a different approach; a nervous hesitation overlaying her creaky question. “What’s, um…what’s your name?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismisses her. However, when a small pout begins to mold her mouth the longer she stares at him, he lets out a discontented huff.  

“Rafe,” he finally responds, not bothering to ask for hers, seemingly not caring enough for it. She tells him, nonetheless, and he can’t help but laugh at her priorities— a literal criminal has broken into her home and she cares about fucking introductions.  

“So…have you— have you killed anyone else?”

She doesn’t know why she’s trying to make small talk with him but she figures that if she gets him to talk about something else, choking her to death won’t be at the forefront of his mind anymore.  

“You seriously wanna know?” he raises his brows. 

She thinks about it for a moment and then settles on a shake of her head, followed by a harsh chuckle rumbling from his chest.  

“So, uh— what do you do? Like besides…killing people and stuff?” she tries once more.  

“Listen, the less you know, the better, alright?” he states, causing her to let out a soft sigh in defeat when all of a sudden, thunder crackles behind her windows, an ablaze lightning illuminating her dimly lit bedroom soon after.  

She flinches at the sound and the nearly sinister way it momentarily lights up his face.  

“You scared of a little storm?” he feigns concern as he peers down at her. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe, yeah?” the mocking grin plastered on his face causes a shudder to travel through her as she swallows—wishing this was all just a really bad nightmare.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

After the little incident, Rafe thinks she’s just as sweet as sugar, offering to make him tea and asking if he wants a blanket or an extra pillow so he’d be more comfortable sleeping on the couch. 

And he can tell that she’s merely doing it because she’s terrified of him, which she should be. Nonetheless, he thinks it feels nice to be pampered and doted on— to have a pretty girl following his orders like a trained puppy. It makes him figure he’s gonna enjoy his stay just fine.  

The following morning though, he’s woken up by her shaky figure standing next to him— pointing his gun at him. 

He lets out a sigh, softened bones mellow from sleep while he rubs at his eyes and shifts to a seated position on the couch— teasingly lifting his hands up in surrender. “Puppy’s got a gun, huh? Tryin’ to be all tough now, are we?”

“I— I want you to leave,” she says, voice rickety and words unsure.  

And he’s trying to take her seriously, he really is, but it’s proving to be rather difficult when she resembles a scared little kitten more than someone who knows what they’re doing.  

“You want me to leave? Maybe you should, uh, work on your pitch a little more? M’not very convinced,” the lazy smile tugging at his mouth makes her brows crease.  

“Rafe, this is not a joke,” a scowl shades her face.

He thinks she looks rather adorable. “Come on, pup, you’re not gonna shoot me. You don’t even know how to use that thing, do you?” his voice is even, and it makes her hesitate.

“Well…it can’t be that complicated?” it’s more of a question than a statement and he lets out a humored chuckle in response. Her frown deepens.  

“Why don’t you give that to me, yeah? You don’t want death on your conscience, would break ya, you’re too soft for that shit.”  

“You don’t know me.” 

“Know you enough,” he says, finally standing on his feet, taking a slow step towards her, making her squeeze the weapon tighter in her trembling fingers.  

“If— if I give it to you…you’re gonna— you’re gonna kill me and I don’t wanna die,” her words are rushed, hysterical. 

His brows furrow. “Who said anythin’ about killin’ you? Listen, if you give me the gun right now, m’not gonna do anythin’. You have my word, okay?” he towers over her, solid chest grazing the barrel.  

“I don’t trust you,” her voice is a whisper.  

“I know, pup…but I also know that you’re not gonna use that,” his steady hands are a stark contrast to her own when he grabs for the firearm, slipping it from her weak fingers with ease.  

“There we go, no need to be so, uh, so fuckin’ theatrical, yeah?” he lowers his face in order to lock eyes with her. “See? Not hurtin’ you, am I?”  

She manages out a hum of agreement, and then her waterline is brimming with salty droplets as she chokes out a sob. “M’sorry. I don’t—”  

“Hey, hey s’all good. Mistakes happen, yeah?” he says before his strong arms are wrapping around her trembling form because he’s not a complete monster, and for some reason it only makes her weep harder. 

Her crocodile tears wet his shirt while his big paws rub against her back, but he doesn’t seem to mind. And she thinks it’s almost…comforting when he starts to sway her from side to side, like he’s trying to calm down a crying child. 

“There you go, just, uh, let it all out ‘n maybe you can chill out a bit, yeah? You pogues can be so fuckin’ dramatic sometimes,” he pats at her back, rolling his eyes as she takes in shaky inhale after shaky inhale until she’s feeling slightly more placid.  

“Shit, if I’d known you were such a fuckin’ crybaby I would’ve picked another house,” he grumbles, pulling away from her weakened form before pushing her back to stumble on her feet— setting the gun back onto the coffee table with a clank.

[neil-gaiman]

"My dear" has become deeply entrenched and deeply beloved fanon; most fanfics have Aziraphale calling Crowley that as a regular thing. I know, I know, it appears just ONCE in the book, along with a "dear boy" and a "my dear boy," and there's a "my dear fellow" in S1E3… Luckily, rationality is NOT a requirement for membership in the Good Omens fandom, lol!

Anyways: Season 3 is our final chance to hear Aziraphale call Crowley "my dear." And therefore, my ask is: Would you please please PLEASE give us a "my dear"? You know what I mean, NOT a, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" kind of "my dear," but one where Aziraphale does the big blue eyes look (you know the one I mean, or if you don't, Michael will know), and then says it.

PLEASE can we have a "my dear"? PLEASE?! Please please please?! {grovels shamelessly} Please, Neil, PLEASE give us a "my dear"! A small one?! If Good Omens finishes without a "my dear," I will absolutely DIE! {swoons dramatically}

{cracks one eye open to see Neil's reaction}

Good news! Crowley will be transformed into a deer at the start of season 3, and Aziraphale will ask if anyone has seen his deer repeatedly.

[angelfishe]

|| 🂱🂱 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐃 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄. 🂱🂱 ||

<< yandere VIP Zhongli x Player!reader >>

After your mother suddenly has gotten her self into a large debt that seems it is never gonna end, someone recruited you to participate in a game to clean off that debt, but turns out it was a life and death situation as well meeting some familiar faces.

A one shot of my previous post

Warning : includes some dub-con intimacy, spoilers for the squid game series, blood, violence, as well mentions of intimacy

<< Viewers discretion is advised>>

Your mother has gotten herself into a large amount of debt for no apparent reason, she got Carried away in an illegal casino as well taking a loan from an illegal casino.

So you took odd jobs to pay off the debt to help her, but it never seems to end for you guys suffering. Everyday is tiring getting up at 4 am and going home at 11 pm, it was exhausting.

You were tired one day after a night shift, and was waiting at the train station to go home until a man in a business suit approached you, saying why don't you guys play a game for some money. You were desperate for cash so you accepted it.

After that, you receive some slaps but you eventually win. You get your cash and as well a business card about playing a game and clearing your debt.

You decided to take your chances and go with a friend to this so-called game. You and her wait for the car that was taken to you guys towards the game and when it arrives you guys suddenly fall asleep. You guys wake up in a green jump suit with different numbers on it.

After the game rules were laid out by the guards and the first game was "red light, green light", you didn't think much of it and followed the game as usual. Until one person moves during a red light and was shot, and soon all hell broke loss

People ran towards the exit and ended up getting shot left and right, you and your friend didn't know what to do and was scared to move and that's how you guys survive the first game.

During the dalgona shape game, unfortunately for you, you receive a star shape one. You were stressing about it until a guard next to you decided to drop a lighter right next to you and you unknowingly grab to use it.

During the third game it was a miracle that your team managed to win, during the night when there were lights out people left and right started to eliminate each other.

You were safe due to you hiding under the bed. Unfortunately during the 4th game, the marble game. Your friend decided to back stab you and cause you to lose the game.

She was allowed to leave and you were told to stay behind, you thought they were going to shoot you but they drag you into somewhere in the facility.

You were screaming and begging them to let you go, and you were pushed into a luxurious room inside a bed night stand and a man wearing an expensive brown suit and was wearing a deer mask facing the other way so his back was facing you.

"I'm so glad I've got to meet you again my love" he's voice sounds familiar, "it's a shame you don't recognize me have you forgotten my voice after those years being apart because the only thing that has kept me sane was your voice".

The man took off revealing it was your ex husband zhongli, you guys divorce about three years ago how possessive he was with you, unwilling for you to let you go anywhere but home saying it was dangerous.

He was a famous consultant when you guys were married and you both were living comfortably, until your divorce and you heard that he joined the army for 2 years and after leaving he managed to climb himself into the world of the elite reaching fortunes of those Unimaginable.

He seems way more taller and muscular since the last time you saw him maybe he's been working out. As well growing his hair to the point of reaching his back side.

He approach you and envelopes you into a large bear hug, saying how much he misses you and loves you. While you're there just shock contemplating why he is here in this game as well knowing where you were.

And the entire time he was also saying how he was right and the world is a dangerous place as well saying you would have been with him and not be in this game. He was about to give you a kiss until you pushed him to create some distance from him.

You ask him why he was here, and he answered that his friend "childe" tip him off about an entertainment experience that was once in a lifetime to enjoy. And that's how he became a vip to the squid game, he originally wasn't fond of these games but he was glad he came because he saw you on the list of participants. And now he's here to save you and bring you back home

He said he could clear the debt, saying that the debt of 100 million mora wouldn't make a dent in his fortune it was just a small amount as well about the dealings of the illegal casino saying his friends own it and will pay off the debt as long as he gets to have you back.

Without a choice you decided to take him back, and he enveloped you to his embrace as well kissing your lips. He walks you both towards the bed and pins you down.

He grabs the deer mask that was put on the night stand and puts it on your face and then he undresses you from the jump suit "let's get you out of these dirty clothes".

He's more muscular, more broader and much more stronger as well having some experience in the bedroom after you guys divorce, I mean he would usually imagine the ones who were underneath him was you.

As well as having more stamina since the military training, leaving you breathless and thoughtless after the deed was done. After 3 years apart he must have been pent up a lot. Admiring and memorising your figure as well singing praises about your screams of pleasure and how he misses it.

After some time you receive some high end clothing from the guards as well having your own golden mask. You and him walk arm on arm in link together as if the universe doesn't want to separate you again and you guys take a seat watching the last player fight for the Fortune.

[merlinmylove]

A fic of every person Merlin has ever sent to his mother:

Chapter one: Lancelot arrives in Ealdor, saying he’s looking for a woman named Hunith. “I’m a friend of Merlin’s, he said you might let me stay a while — I will help and provide anything you might need Madam. If only for a few days, so I may rest” Lancelot is kind and happy to help. He chops down trees for firewood to last her the whole winter, and even fixes the leak in the roof. He speaks fondly of his adventures with Merlin and what Camelot is like. Hunith notices he blushes at the name of a young maiden he befriended, he reenacts his knighting trial, and laughs at Merlin who dared forge a Noble house seal so that he may have a chance at becoming a knight. Hunith is sad to see him leave, but she knows he will be alright.

Chapter two: Gwaine arrives on horseback late one night. He’s flirtatious and easy going, happy to have found a new friend. “I see where Merlin gets his looks from, and dare I say my lady, you’re even more gorgeous” Hunith hasn’t laughed so much in a long time. She sees much of Balinor in Gwaines character; his disdain for nobles, his flirtatious nature and brash personality. The man is popular with the children in the village. He makes wooden swords and shields for them, teaching them the basics of how to defend themselves “against dragons and such”. Gwaine is unlike any other man she’s ever met, but she can tell he cares deeply for her son and is happy to call him her friend.

Chapter Three: When Gwen arrives with a cart Hunith frowns. She remembers the young girl who had arrived in her village years prior. All smiles and kindness. The young woman standing before her is quiet, withdrawn and ashamed. They don’t speak — Hunith takes her inside and readies the bed for her. Gwen stays with her for many months, and together they cry, grieve, and laugh. “Oh my dear girl” Some days Gwen is silent and crying, other times she seems to have found herself again. She works with the Smith family and shows them how a royal blacksmith works, fashioning jewellery for Hunith and the other ladies in the village. The day she leaves Hunith cries.

Chapter four: A young sorcerer arrives saying his name is Gilli. A friend of Merlin, and he is in need of a place to stay for the night. He’s been badly hurt in a fight with bandits — Hunith tends to his wounded arm as he tells her about his life. His father who died a good man, a sorcerer who never used magic for evil, and how Merlin is the reason Gilli changed course and is now learning to use magic for good and not for vanity. He is friendly, if a little shy, but she can see a similarity to Merlin in him. He only stays the one night, but she makes sure to pack his bag with some extra breadrolls and apples for his travels. Gilli thanks her as he leaves for another adventure.

Chapter five: Sirs Leon and Percival arrive on a warm day in the summer. They’re passing by on business with another noble house in Escetir, hoping to garner the Nobleman’s fealty to Camelot. They need a place to rest before they travel again tomorrow. “Gwaine and Lancelot speaks very highly of you, ma’am. And Merlin said you might be so good as to let us rest here for the night” Hunith gladly lets them inside. They’ve brought with them plenty of food and goods from Camelot, and have even hunted a deer which Hunith can share with her neighbours. The men are polite and friendly. Sir Leon helps her peel potatoes for dinner, and Sir Percival uses his strength to rearrange the heavier furniture for her. They talk amicably all evening, drinking the wine the King had gifted her. Hunith felt a surge of happiness knowing her son was in their company.

Chapter six: He says his name is George. He is King Arthur’s assistant manservant and he is travelling during his time away. His family lives in the village two days away. “Merlin said I might stay here for the night. If you permit it madam”. Hunith is not sure what to make of this strange fellow; his jokes are lame, his manners hard to describe, but she naturally allows him to stay the night. When she wakes in the morning, her whole house has been cleaned. The curtains dusted and pressed, the flowers watered, the kitchen stove cleared for smoke, and her dresses are hung in a colour coordinated order. She waves goodbye and hopes he might come by again….Perhaps in time for spring cleaning.

Chapter seven: The villagers of Ealdor have become accustomed to their local healer and midwife having strange visitors. They’ve seen knights, sorcerers, druids, and even some nobles stop by her house for a day or two. They think they’ve seen it all, until one day King Arthur of Camelot is knocking on her door. “Arthur! Hello dearest” She says as he sweeps her into a hug, kissing his face. “It’s good to see you again, Hunith. I don’t want to be a bother, but my horse threw a shoe as we were out hunting. Do you mind if we stay here tonight?” He resembles a young boy when talking to her, more so than the King he is. Of course she says, you’re always welcome here, dear. Merlin is soon seen walking towards his mother’s house, holding the reins of two horses, and a big smile “Mum!”