#the death eaters clearly have no idea what happened to him because they didn't think he'd defected

[navree]

someone did a thread on incredibly stupid worldbuilding stuff from the series that shall not be named and my own addition is that it is baffling that the wizarding world has things like false convictions or false protestations of innocence or false confessions when a) you can pull people's memories out of their heads and watch them like a movie b) there is a literal drink that makes someone tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them god and c) there are ways you can literally learn to become a mind reader.

[artemisia-black]

If regulus didn't die in the cave, at that point he obviously wouldn't be a voldemort fanboy anymore but he would likely still agree with the basic principles of pure-blood supremacy. Do you think sirius would be willing to work together with him to defeat voldemort in a "we have common goal and that's enough for now" kinda way?

In an au where regulus gets a genuine redemption arc, could sirius ever forgive him for siding with their parents at home and for becoming a death eater later?

Tangentially related but do you think sirius harbours guilt over how his little brother turned out? (I don't think he's actually responsible for his brother's decisions just to be clear!)

Would love to read your thoughts 💞

So I have this meta detailing my thoughts on Sirius about Regulus' being a deatheather: https://www.tumblr.com/artemisia-black/680979524287135744/the-world-isnt-split-into-good-people-and?source=share

But to quote myself:

I’ve previously discussed my interpretation of the tapestry scene in the linked post. And the way Sirius’s minimises Regulus’s agency and lays the blame at his parent’s door (thus santitising his actions).

I just want to summarise this post using Sirius’s opinion that,

'..... the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a wry smile.’

When coupled with his views that Reg is a ‘stupid-idiot,’ indicates that Sirius has held space for nuance when it came to his brother. He doesn’t claim to outright hate him (the way he does with the rest of his family), instead he is very measured about it.

To go back to his quote about Voldemort, his belief that Regulus died because he defected also probably added to Sirius’s desire to fight him (indeed his issue with Voldemort is very personal). That is why he seems to truly believe that fighting Voldemort is a thing,

‘ ….worth dying for…..’

As both his blood and chosen brother did.

I do see Sirius forgiving Regulus. Actually, my initial idea for Dog and Deer was to have them hunt Horcruxes, but I realised I couldn't deal with writing them realistically (it would feel like I'm a mother of two feral toddlers).

Sirius has a massive tendency towards guilt and self-blame, so I think he defo blames himself (unfairly) for Regulus. This is exemplified in how he clearly takes pains to find out what happened to Regulus and also leaves his bedroom untouched despite throwing out sellable valuables.

[pet-genius]

Snape Theories and Theory of Mind

This is more a rant than anything else, and doesn't really go anywhere, but, idk, I missed writing on here. Feel free to offer more examples <3 Snape is a character whose motivations remain oblique for 6.9 out of 7 books, and his motivations are also remarked upon for 6.9 out of 7 books as something important and pivotal, which means people probably reach The Prince's Tale with a pretty well-formed idea, and end up fitting what we find out there into what they already thought. I am old enough to remember Snape hate used to center on the idea that he is a true Death Eater, and the end of HBP didn't help things there. Nowadays we of course have been aware of the truth for a while, and many people probably picked up the books already knowing The Dumbledore Twist, and the Lily Connection. Here is something I myself fell for: the idea that Snape knew the prophecy would target an infant, and didn't care, until it ended up Lily's infant. To be honest, I... don't hate it. The Snape who delivered the prophecy was probably eager and self-serving, and I think a redemption arc is more effective if it starts from a low point indeed. There's a case to be made that he wouldn't have felt morally obligated to some whatever baby (which only makes the fact that he then risked himself for Neville more compelling, imo). It took this essay (in general, a must read for every Potterhead) to convince me that not only is this interpretation not canon, it's not even that viable. I like to think of myself as reasonably intelligent and unreasonably fond of Snape, so what happened there? I knew the prophecy meant Harry/Neville. I knew Snape switched sides because of Lily. I knew he had no qualms about the act of delivering the prophecy per se... but I forgot Snape didn't know the prophecy meant Harry/Neville, and so the rest of the extrapolation is moot. We don't know what Past!Snape would have done if he had heard it more clearly referenced an infant. It's Dumbledore who actually helpfully clears it up for him, explaining that it doesn't mean Lily Potter, but an infant. I had in mind the whole picture and I projected this knowledge onto Snape. This is a lack of theory of mind (the ability to attribute beliefs, motivations, etc. to other people). I don't think I generally suffer from a deficiency in that regard - if you ask me where's your phone, I won't assume you know because I know. But with Snape, this keeps happening. Another one: Snape knew Lupin was a werewolf before he went inside the tunnel. We know Lupin is a werewolf, and we know Snape knew as much by the time he said "every full moon?", but somehow the false projection from our own internal state leads us (yes, me too, at some point) to a frankly nonsensical conclusion, which is that Lily says "I know your theory [that Lupin is a werewolf]" and then, seconds later, "I heard what happened the other [full moon] night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there [but I won't ask why you went anywhere on a full moon night knowing there's a werewolf about]". For the record, whatever Snape thought he was walking toward makes no difference to how reprehensible Sirius's trick was, but that's not the point here - the point is the judgment on characters based on our internal state.

Another one - the idea that Snape hated Sirius so much he knew Peter was the traitor, and didn't tell anyone. Now, personally, I never even remotely fell for that one, not least because the text eliminates this possibility before it's even revealed that Snape was a Death Eater. But some people seem to believe it. The Lily connection is a reveal that makes it believable that Snape would go from self-serving Death Eater to Dumbledore's loyal spy and protect Harry unto death even though he hated Harry, and yet somehow, readers manage to come up with ideas like "all he ever did, he did out of a desire to avenge Lily." They stretch the Lily connection to explain much more than it ever was meant to explain, because it's a solid fact, and Snape's general protectiveness of everyone beside Harry doesn't fit in with their already formed belief, to the point that they would twist him into something that isn't recognizably human.

I don't really have a point here, I just think it's interesting. Snape is almost a study in theory of mind, as you constantly have to dig up context clues for why he is reacting in this way or that, whom he is performing to and what he does when he's alone, etc., and yet there are so many failures of theory of mind there. It's also interesting because, in his treatment of Harry, Snape does very much the same thing. He can't ever consider the possibility that Harry is not James, and that to Harry, Snape is the powerful one. He legitimately seems to think Harry hates him for no reason, just like his father did. It's almost like a failure of legilimency there: nearly every time Snape might be using legilimency on Harry without Harry's knowledge, Harry is lying or fantasizing about hurting Snape, or doing some other thing that would trigger Snape's failed theory of mind. More information did not help Snape understand Harry better, just as it does not help Snape's haters understand him better.

[greenerteacups]

How do you feel about the fact that Bellatrix was Voldemort’s concubine/lover?

This ask prompted a real coleslaw of emotions.

Top level, I can't take the Cursed Child seriously as canon. I'm a purist about text to begin with — no word of God or adaptation can change what you put in the original books, and if the author wanted the text to be different, they had their shot — but, even if not, the Cursed Child is bad. Like, it's My Immortal type bad. It's the kind of bad that makes you glad it didn't come out closer to the original books + movies, or it could have had a Game of Thrones-type cratering effect on discussion and fandom. The Albus/Scorpius dynamic is cute — everything else about it sucks. It is a no-fly zone for good ideas. The Golden Trio are all twisted into funhouse mirrors, Voldemort has a daughter, and most perversely, the absolutely horrific mutilation of Cedric Diggory's character (in no world did that boy become a Death Eater! he was KIND AND DECENT! and he DIED ANYWAY! that was THE FUCKING POINT!!!!!!!).

Second layer: let's say that Bellatrix/Voldemort is canon and explored beyond the writers going "whoops gotta find a working womb for Voldemort's kid." That's a really interesting dynamic. It's a horrible dynamic! It's a motherfucker of an age gap to begin with, and it would have started when she was in her late teens to early twenties! Plus, she was married. To another man. So that would have to be explained? Because she obviously wasn't always so mindlessly devoted to Voldemort that she couldn't entertain connections with others? But that's not to say that I'm against it as a narrative decision. Tom Riddle is (captain obvious moment incoming) a Bad, Bad Man, and the idea of him seducing a younger woman is actually an understandable extension of his connection with his followers that's not explored in the books. Because, like: the Death Eaters are a cult! Riddle runs a death cult. Cults use sex to manipulate members. One of the oldest tricks in the book.

Third layer: this could be a kind of interesting move for Riddle, who as a villain is never developed all that much, and doesn't have much in the way of humanizing qualities. Because Riddle is anti-love as such. He doesn't believe in it, and if you believe Dumbledore, he's not capable of it. (I don't really love this take on the character, but I think that Riddle thinks this is the case, and Dumbledore is so grizzled and jaded by the years that he believes him. Dumbledore's great failure with Tom was never seeing past the person Tom wanted him to see — or, rather, looking at Tom and seeing Grindlewald when he should have seen Harry.) So for him to harbor enough affection for Bellatrix to take her as his (only?) lover, when he doesn't seem to need it to convince her to join him (and he doesn't really need her support, anyway) creates a wrinkle in the Story of Voldemort as we're told. It suggests that either Tom or Dumbledore (or both) is lying about his capacity for love— or at least his capacity for human attachment. And that Tom isn't so unique as either of them would like to believe.

Also, it adds a wrinkle to Bellatrix's character, too: even if they met when she was an adult, there's manipulation happening there that's clearly one-sided and unequal. or at least, there probably is. and if it's consensual, or if she aggressively pursued him— that's interesting, too. my point being: this isn't a bad idea, necessarily. it's a bad idea because i don't think the writers of the Cursed Child thought about any of that when they were trying to find a womb for the Voldebaby.

[seriousbrat]

hi this may be long so sorry in advance but

i always loved hp and when i got into the marauders i started caring about sirius, remus, and james more (peter hater till i die unfortunately i can’t get behind him) and like every marauders stan i despised despised severus, i thought that since he was in a known death eaters friend group and called muggle borns mudblood he was unredeemable. but then i saw more and more pro snape content and it made me feel bad for him, james bullied him (which i’m still not even sure if it was classified as bullying because james didnt have any power over him and it wasn’t even 1 vs 4 it was 1 vs 2 so i’d like to know your opinion on that as well) and he had an abusive parent, but then i saw snily shippers (i am a major jily shipper fyi) saying how james basically manipulated lily into marrying him by not telling her he still bullied snape, how the prank was the best thing to happen to james because their “fights” wouldn’t be seen as bullying but as a teen rivalry, how james was the rich boy who got everything he wanted and he got the poor girl as well, how it was him constantly asking lily out and her always saying no etcc, so ik this may sound stupid but i love ur takes like ur always sooooo fucking real so if u want to share your opinions on these like if u think any of these things are wrong 🙈 id be glad bc i dont know how to feel about severus and idk how to feel about jily either which is just making my small world inside of my head crumble bc i used to love them so much

Of course and thank you! First of all as I've been saying I don't think it's necessary or even really a good idea for us to base our preferences or interests in fiction with our moral beliefs. so we can accept that snape or james did bad things and still like them. Fiction gives us that freedom to delve into aspects of humanity that in real life we might try to avoid. So I don't think you should feel bad for liking james or severus or jily or whatever. Ok, that being said let's get into it:

First it's normal to feel sympathy for Severus, he's a sympathetic character in many respects! That's what makes a good anti-hero (or even villain. we're even supposed to feel sympathy for voldemort and barty crouch jr at certain points)

what james and the marauders did was definitely bullying. there's no way around that. you say james didn't have any power over him but he did; social power. You touched on economic class, which is a big factor, but James was a popular student and Sev was deeply unpopular. whether it was 1v4 or 1v2 or 1v1 doesn't really matter in terms of whether it was bullying, though tbh it was really 1vthe whole school because the spectators also participated in Sev's humiliation.

However, in my mind there's almost no way that Snape wasn't instigating just as much, possibly more, in seventh year. Like you think he was just going to sit around and accept that his worst enemy was dating Lily? lol. I tend to believe Sirius when he says that Sev "never lost an opportunity to curse James" like good for him get his ass. But I think it was definitely a different dynamic in 7th year than in 5th. there's this tendency to portray Sev as being a meek little helpless victim his whole life but personally I feel that's a disservice to his character-- this is the guy who invented sectumsempra 'for enemies' like three guesses who 'enemies' was.

re: jily, I really doubt that James manipulated Lily into anything, I think that's such an overdramatic reading lol. We don't know much about the way they got together-- although many fic writers have taken it upon themselves to fill in the gaps-- but everything points to them having been happy and in love, that clearly was the intention by the author. If James didn't tell her about duelling Snape that isn't great, but there are a lot of things that can be imperfect in a relationship without jumping to manipulation and abuse which require a specific pattern of behaviour that we have no evidence for. We also only have the external perspective of Sirius and Remus, which is likely incomplete.

(also James 'always asking Lily out' is fanon, we see him ask her out ONCE albeit spectacularly badly. it seems more likely to me that lily 'you make me SICK' evans simply saw james grow into someone she rly liked rather than gave in and gave in so fully that she married him bcause he was pressuring her. idk she didn't read like a pushover to me.)

So no need for world crumblage! It doesn't sound stupid at all, but I think it's important to keep in mind that we can enjoy fictional characters/relationships that aren't perfect, in fact those are the ones that I find more enjoyable. It's totally possible to be a fan of snape and james and jily and snily all at the same time, fandom tends to create conflicts or 'shipping wars' or whatever lol but idk if that's necessary. I don't see it as a moral debate or an either/or, I just find all the characters and the dynamics between them interesting.

For instance, you mentioned the class differences between Lily and James, and I always thought that was probably a point of contention in the relationship; but to me it's one that makes it more compelling to explore. Relationships irl are rarely perfect and evenly-matched from the start, they take work. Similarly people are never perfect- they learn and change and grow. James did, Snape definitely did. otherwise they would be boring and unrealistic as characters.

[kiwi-queen-blog]

a potter not a black

characters: Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew

warnings / tags: angst, violence, emotional abuse, blood /injury, language, dark mark / death eater mention, black family drama

word count: 1,232

summery: Regulus has something important to tell Sirius, but their conversation doesn't go as planned.

"Sirius," Regulus attempted

"Sod off Regulus" Sirius shot back, continuing down the hallway.

"Sirius please," Regulus reached out an arm to his brother halting Sirius in his tracks and forcing him to look at Regulus.

"What do you want, Regulus?"

I need to speak with you, I need to... tell you something" he didn't know how to tell Sirius, he didn't know how to tell anyone.

"Say it then," Sirius clearly had no patience for his brother.

"Erm, I- I'm…” after opening and closing his mouth a few times he ended up saying, “I can't say it here."

How was he going to just say something like this out in the open the way Sirius was asking him to?

"Don't waste my time Regulus." Sirius sighed shrugging off Regulus' hand. Sirius was fed up with the black family's antics and his brother was no excuse.

"No! No, Sirius! Sirius, wait!”

But Sirius wasn't listening and Regulus didn't know how to make him listen. “Sirius, I'm a deatheater!"

Regulus clasped his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide with horror at what he'd just desperately blurted out and Sirius spun around on the spot. What had he just done?

"What?! You're a..." Sirius trailed off trying to comprehend what he had just been told. His thoughts were swirling through his head like a storm. How could Regulus do this, be one of them. He knew all the poor innocents were suffering because of those people, that group. Regulus was now one of them, those horrific people who only existed to cause harm.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Regulus was panicking; this was not how Sirius was supposed to find out. "Mum forced me to do it!” he exclaimed because he couldn't find something better to say. Then for some stupid reason he pulled up the left sleeve of his shirt showing Sirius the mark that was forced upon him. That soulless skull. Everything was happening so fast and the world seemed to be spinning around him. His thoughts meshed into one.

“Pull your sleeve down!” Sirius whisper-shouted at his younger brother taking a few steps toward him.

“Why did you get that bloody mark Regulus, and why are you telling me about it?”

“I didn't want to. I swear, mum forced me to. I didn't know what to do, I still don't. I need your help Sirius."

Regulus was lost, so incredibly lost. It was like he was at sea during a storm; the only thing keeping him afloat was the idea that Sirius would save him.

“How the fuck am I meant to help you? You're one of them now and why come to me after getting that stupid mark?” Sirius gestured to Regulus’ arm.

“I didn't come to you before because you never answered my letters. What are you trying to say, Sirius?” Regulus could tell that Sirius was trying to tell him something, something that was refusing to come out in direct sentences.

“I'm saying that… if there wasn't some part of you that wanted to get that thing then you wouldn't have gotten it, you would have found some way out, you would've left, like I did."

Regulus looked at Sirius. His fear quickly turned to disbelief and rage and sadness seemed to consume his thoughts. Is that really what Sirius thought of him?

“Are you serious? Do you genuinely think I wanted to be one of them?” Regulus throat was hoarse and he wanted to cry but what was worse was that he wanted to cry to his brother, not to himself.

“Sirius I couldnt fucking leave, I didnt have other people to talk to about this like you did, I didnt have somewhere to run away to.”

“You could've came to me, earlier before you got that!” he glared at Regulus’ forearm.

Regulus wasn't thinking anymore; he was reckless with dismay. Taking a few steps forward he slapped Sirius across the face. "Wake the fuck up! I couldn't come to you because you never talked to me, you still won't! I had no one except you, and you fucking left me!”

Regulus was shouting now. He didn’t care if he was overreacting or not acting like himself.

Sirius pushed Regulus back with his right hand, his left clutching his cheek. Regulus was hurt. He was drowning in that stormy sea without Sirius there to save him and at that point it didn't matter what he said or did. He just wanted to make Sirius hurt as much as he did.

“You're just like them, you know that," he chuckled. It was as if he had snapped like a twig. Sirius looked confused.

"Just like who?"

"Our dearest mother and father,” Regulus answered, knowing that Sirius hated being compared to his parents. He wanted to hit him where it hurt. Sirius just glared at Regulus.

“It's in your blood after all, it's in your name, Sirius Orion Black.” Regulus taunted. Sirius stepped forward punching Regulus square in the nose

“I'm nothing like them! I never will be!'' Sirius was angry, but at the same time tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He hated his parents and how they treated him. He hated being compared to them but it seemed to sting more coming from his brother that somehow when Regulus said it, it could be true.

"Oh, Mr Black, don't you hear me? you already are." the words stung like one of the many curses Walburga Black used on her sons.

Regulus didn't care if Sirius beat him beyond repair; he wanted to hurt Sirius not with actions but with words the way Sirius had hurt him.

“Don't call me that! I'm a Potter now, not a black!” Sirius yelled back.

As blood dripped from Regulus’ nose the sound of footsteps came into earshot and quickly got louder and soon Remus Lupin, James Potter & Peter Pettigrew came into the hallway full from dinner.

“Oh, hi Sirius!” Peter exclaimed joyfully, failing to understand the situation.

Without missing a beat Regulus responded to Sirius with, "You know what they say, once a black always a Black, and you Sirius Orion Black, well you're the spitting image of what being a part of the noble and most ancient house of Black is supposed to be,'' he spat making sure to use his full name, the name Sirius hated so much that he denied its existence.

At this Sirius ran toward Regulus ignoring his friends, striking Regulus in the stomach and as Regulus doubled over in pain still laughing to himself, James and Remus ran over to try and stop the two from hurting each other any further.

James slotted himself between them and Remus held Sirius back as he tried hitting Regulus again, throwing his fists aimlessly, quickly realizing that Remus was far too strong for him and alternatively allowing Remus' arms to enclose him silent tears falling down his face.

Sirius so desperately wanted to fall to his knees and cry; Regulus so desperately wanted his brother to save him, but neither would happen.

Instead whilst the hallway flooded with students who'd finished dinner and wanted to see what the shouting echoing down the hallways of the castle was all about, both Black brothers wiped their faces and with stoic expressions went to their own common rooms keeping the encounter they just had to themselves as much as they could.

notes: this isn’t my first post on tumblr but it was the first fic I ever wrote! I hope you liked it and if you did you should check out my other fics (my masterlist) (my ao3)

thank you to jaggysword_0926 on ao3 for beta reading this fic

[gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

Pov Scorpius finds out it's opposite day

Albus: hey Scorpius good morning

Scropius trying not to giggle: it's not a good morning and why are you even talking to me where not friends Potter

Albus: I'm sorry huh

Scorpius: I won't see you later * walks away*

Albus: what??? Just happened???

-

Yann: Hey how's your dad doing

Scorpius: I'm guessing you mean my dad Voldemort? He's doing well in his grave actually

Yann: wait what-

Scorpius: oh yes I took a blood test yesterday and found out the rumors were true

Yann: holy fuck-

Scorpius getting up: Bye Yann I hope I see you later

Yann: what the hell-

-

Rose: Scorpius I've been thinking and I've decided we should go on that date

Scropius: No thanks I don't date half-bloods * walks away*

Rose: what in the actual fuck-

-

The history of magic teacher during a lesson: and we all know your dad is a death eater Scorpius

Scorpius: no he wasn't I have no idea what your talking about

Teacher: Yes he was he has a dark mark

Scropius: no he doesn't

Teacher: what -

Scropius: clearly your not a very good history teacher

Teacher: Go too the headmistress office

Scorpius: Fine but I don't care at all

-

McGonagall: So Mr.Malfoy care to explain why you had an outburst during class?

Scorpius: I didn't have an outburst

McGonagall: Look Scorpius I understand why magical history might be difficult for you to sit through with your family's history

Scorpius: My family doesn't have history. In fact my family is quite boring

Draco arriving trough the floo: I heard Scorpius had an outburst in class?

Scorpius: I didn't have an outburst

Draco: Scorpius is something going on your not normally like this

Scropius: I'm always like this

Draco: I'm your father you can tell me anything

Scorpius: your not my father Voldemort is

Draco softly: So this is another rumor. Scorpius no matter what kids say you'll always be my son

Scorpius: I'm not your son

Draco sighing: I knew you'd have to go through a 'rebel phase' eventually

Scropius: it's not a phase

Draco: Did you talk to Albus about this

Scropius: No why on earth whould I talk to him - Potter he things he's sooo special because he the son of the Golden boy

Draco: It's like looking into a mirror holy shit

McGonagall: This isn't the first time this has happened today. Apparently he told Yann that he took a blood test and it showed he was Voldemort's son. And he told Rose that he ' doesn't date half-bloods'

Draco: Scorpius! What has gotten into you! It's like you woke up this morning and decided to go against everything you where raised with!

McGonagall: Wait - Scorpius are you celebrating opposite Day?

Scropius trying not to smile: No..

McGonagall sighing in relief: Oh thank Merlin I thought you had gotten cursed

Draco: Opposite day????

McGonagall: It's a muggle holiday where you do or say the opposite of what you mean.

Draco: Oooh - well still you need to Apologize to Rose and too your teacher - and to Albus.

Scropius: I'm not gonna do that

Draco: Good- I mean bad. I'm not happy your not cursed and I will not see you this weekend in hogsmade.

Scropius: Great I don't look forward to not seeing you there

McGonagall: Both of you don't leave me office

Draco: Right not sorry headmistress * leaves trough the floo*

Scropius: So not sorry * walks out*

McGonagall: I definitely don't need a drink.

[george-fabian-weasley]

if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.

Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.

Words: 2,160 words

Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk

Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)

Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 

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The end of the world.

The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.

At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.

You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.

“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.

Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.

So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.

It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 

You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 

“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”

“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 

“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“

He was saying it in case anything happens.

“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.

“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.

“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.

“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.

“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”

It happened so fast.

One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.

It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 

Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.

“… Y-Y/N…”

You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 

He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.

“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”

“We’ll�� We’ll be okay.”

You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”

“We… We will?”

Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”

You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.

“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 

Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”

“Fred…”

“Five more minutes, I promise…”

You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.

“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.

“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”

“… Anything.”

Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”

There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.

This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 

Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.

If only you had five more minutes.

“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”

You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 

“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”

You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.

Some things are just meant to be.

You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”

He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”

“I love you, Freddie.”

With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“

Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.

“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.

You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.

“I guess we will be, after this.”

“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  

“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.

On our last few drags of air, we agree

I was, and you were

Happy

TAGLIST:

@multifandom-but​ @sirenswhispers​ @lilac-skies-xd​ @obsessedunicorn24​ @foggyturtleknightangel​​ @evewithluv​ @softlyqoos​ @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lilypad-55449​ @fiantomartell​ @hopemalfoyweasley​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @bucketandpotato​ @klausdatprettyboi​ @adoregin​ @littlechillies​ @phuvioqhile​ @sweetnspicysimp​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @harrypotter289​ @emptyporsche​ @tallyovie​  @potters-heart​ @amourtentiaa​ @lunalovecroft​ @loveboyhalo @lupinsclassroom​ @breadqueen95 @iwritesiriusly @rcwenaclaw​ @sevsbitxh​ @freds-slut​ @acosmis-t​ @colorfulprofessornickelangel​ @vote4weasleys​ @anchoeritic​​ @alluringshawn​ @cute-sidney​ @anna-banana-13​ @lostaurorax​ @emrysts​ @rosietoesy @lilgeorgie78 @prismarts @an2402lths

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hi, absolutely love all of your Harry Potter posts!! Could you talk a little bit about Harry's relationship with Sirius and Remus? Fandom likes to make it very wholesome and sweet but to be honest Sirius didn't treat him well and Remus was distant even for a fav professor, nvm your dad's best friend. How do you think the relationship between Harry and James (and in extension Sirius and Remus) would have been if everyone lived? 

For reference I cover some of this in my post on Sirius, my post on Remus, and my brief post on the Maruaders raising Harry.

To summarize it all here, I think the doting uncle characteristics we see from fandom come from a few places. I place a lot of blame on the movies, which made Sirius a much more responsible and adult figure in Harry’s life. Blame also goes to fandom itself who so desperately wants Harry to have the family he never really had.

Sirius is his best hope for that, and Harry knows it, which is why it’s devastating when he dies. Remus gets sort of lumped in because fandom asks the question, “Wasn’t he also best friends with James and Lily and part of the non-traitor Marauder gang?” And because fandom likes Wolfstar a lot.

Not helping is also that Harry thinks Sirius is his cool uncle who he’s going to live with any second now and that he imagines himself and Remus as being much closer than they actually are. Harry as a narrator gives us a rather warped view of these two.

I’ve covered that Sirius was in no condition to take care of anyone, even himself, and that his relationship with Harry is... weird because of it. I’ve similarly covered that Remus really wanted nothing to do with Harry at all and kept an extremely professional distance (he’s very reluctant to even teach Harry the patronus and only has one session with him and then practically throws him out of the office).

But to the crux of your ask.

If James had lived (I assume Lily is dead as she’s not specifically mentioned above) and Remus and Sirius are around (we can assume that Sirius was not thrown into Azkaban thanks to James being able to point to Peter as the guilty party)...

Well, I think Harry would have a far more stable family life which would actually do wonders for him. Granted, he’s raised by a pair of jackasses, but almost anything’s better than the Dursleys.

That said, I think Harry and his dad would have... issues.

I can see James making parenting all about him. His wife is dead, he’s survived this traumatic experience with the dark lord, and his son is the messiah. James is completely in over his head and I imagine doesn’t know how to process what’s even happened.

The gut reaction I see him having is to embrace it, “YEAH, I AM THE DAD OF THE BOY-WHO-LIVED”. The tale of how he bravely tackled Voldemort only to be thrown into a wall and pass out gets embellished into an all-out duel. He talks to the press on Harry’s behalf and goes to town, takes Harry out to meet the people and talk about the awfulness of blood purity and the need for change.

As much as I hate James, I think he would have good intentions with this. Not to mention that Sirius would be goading him on and Remus would be... well, probably drifting in and out of friendship and homelessness.

So there’s a first point, I don’t think Harry would have much of a relationship with Remus. I imagine Remus, would be the homeless drifter he’s implied to be in canon, living a miserable life, and having a very tense friendship with Sirius and James. I imagine Remus never really got over the nearly murdering Snape incident that Sirius put him through and knowing James suspected him of treason would likely sour things further. He stops by at first but then visits become longer and longer apart, the three of them pretend they’re still the best of friends but it’s clearly just Sirius and James.

But yes, back to James and Harry. I imagine James would build up expectations of Harry, and Harry is at first delighted but then (as he goes to Hogwarts) slowly realizes he doesn’t measure up. Harry’s not a bright guy and not particularly talented. He’s outperformed routinely by a muggle born girl (both of which I imagine, especially living under James, chafes at him). I imagine Harry crumbles under the pressure, especially as Voldemort suddenly returns.

To be honest, I can see Harry becoming a delinquent. He harasses people in the hallway, never does any of his homework (because he knows he won’t perform to expectations), skips class all the time. At first, James and Sirius think this is great, he’s a little Marauder in the making.

But then Harry probably graduates to petty crime, severe underage drinking, etc. that makes it clear that this is actually a problem. James hates the idea of being his own father (let alone Sirius’ family) and has no idea what to do about this. His disapproval just goads Harry on as Harry’s doing this in part to stick it to his father, who is now the Man (not that James realizes this).

Harry dies some ignoble death very young at the hands of some Death Eater or another.

As for Sirius, I imagine he’d play the role of James’ best friend far more than he would Harry’s uncle/father. Which is, of course, part of the trouble.

[acciocriativity]

Spark of Happiness ||Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: You already went through a lot in your life, but while dating Draco the world you knew has changed dramatically and it seems like it couldn’t get any worse...

Word Count: 2,8k

A/N: Thanks for the request @loxbbg and sorry for tagging you, I just thought that you would like to, since I took a longer time than I promised. That’s my first time writing for Draco, so I don’t know if it’s what you wanted. Hope you’ll enjoy it!

Part II

Like in all relationships, difficult moments always come up to test the couple, their trust, their love, and their future together.

It wasn't easy to get through the first two but we were still together at a nebulous time in the Wizarding World and in Draco's life.

I always knew about everything, the return of you-know-who, the nightmares and I thought that eventually, when this all came to an end, we could live a quiet life somewhere, preferably as far away as possible.

Draco agreed with me when we talked about it the other day but things were not going well, besides the daily stress at Hogwarts, the anticipation of the weight of the black mark on his forearm was taking him down bit by bit.

He was drowning, losing what little light I could see inside him, and even if I insisted to know more, he still had to keep too much inside himself. Partly because no one else could know and partly because he had trouble expressing himself. It was always like this, although I like to think that we were slowly getting better at it.

"Draco, can you come sit with me for a little while?", I said watching the blond try to concentrate on the book in front of him only to fail, for the 3rd time in a row. "I promise that page can wait about 10 minutes, it's a weekend". My heart sank in my chest as soon as he turned to look at me, the dark circles under his eyes even deeper than the day before. Another sleepless night.

I heard his defeated sigh and soon after felt the warmth of his body close to mine and his natural scent fill my lungs.

"Why are you up so early, love?", his arms passed around my waist and his head lay on my right shoulder. "More than anyone, you should rest, even if it is during the day."

"I just couldn't sleep anymore", his voice husky and faltered and automatically my hands went to his messy blond hair, stroking the strands carefully.

"You know I'm here to listen to you and I know these nightmares are getting worse, I won't say anything after listening if you prefer but I can't watch you like this anymore, not without doing something about it”.

We were silent for a few minutes, all that could be heard was our breathing and his tired sighs. I continued in that position, I tried to pass on as much reassurance as possible, because there was nothing else I could do if he wouldn't allow me.

"My mother sent me a letter, when I go back to Malfoy Manor, I will get the black mark", he didn't look me in the eye and I tried not to take it to heart.

"And when did you intend to tell me this? It's not more than two weeks until Christmas, is that why the nightmares are worse?", I felt my head spin and I had to close my eyes to concentrate again.

He nodded and again silence fell over the room, each lost in his own thoughts until I decided to speak again.

"You want to tell me about the nightmares? You don't have to go through this alone", my hands came out of his hair and went around his shoulder.

And he told me everything this time. The meeting room where the death eaters gathered, the place most of the dreams usually took place. While he felt the worst pain he had ever experienced, his father was standing with a proud expression beside his mother, who was paralyzed and you-know-who looked pleased, basking in the fear evident on his face.

The worst part was left for the end, where the reason for his entrance was revealed, which changed every day. In some he was supposed to be just a spy, in others he was supposed to kill someone or be killed, and it didn't stop there. He was supposed to prove his loyalty by killing a muggle in front of everyone there, who would serve as dinner for the snake named Nagini. He had no choice, he could have no compassion or he would be there with that woman.

"They were laughing like it was the most fun situation, they were all there, the Carrows, Lestrange, Avery…”, I felt a few tears wetting my blouse but he pretended he was fine and I preferred to pretend I believed him.

He kept talking more names with a tone of anger and disgust but I stopped paying attention to Avery, which was the last name on my old birth certificate before it changed to both my parents when I was adopted.

"Love? Y/N???", his grayish blue eyes were reddened, I could clearly see where the tears had run down his face. "Sorry love, I was just thinking...keep talking, it's good to get it all out at once."

After I heard everything, I kept my word and didn't say anything so instead, I let him finally relax in my arms.

"What were you thinking about earlier?", his eyes were already closed, exhaustion was winning the battle.

"I was thinking it would be a much better idea if we got some more sleep now, don't you agree?", he couldn't see my smile but I could see his and there was nothing in the world I wanted to see more often.

"Sounds like an excellent idea...", he wriggled a little until we were both comfortable in a position to sleep.

Later after lunch I began to notice the change in Draco's mood, he seemed equally tired as the few hours of sleep were not enough but somehow, he was glowing and I was loving it.

The next few days followed the same path until he decided to tell me why.

"Meet me at the Astronomy Tower in 10 minutes - D.M."

That was all it said on the note his owl came to hand me and I couldn't help but smile.It's not easy to be dating at Hogwarts, where there are students everywhere so we usually meet during the night in my dormitory or somewhere empty in the castle.

I waited a few minutes to make sure there was no one else in the Slytherin common hall and then started my way to the tower with the utmost care not to run into Filch or his cat and I was really close to being caught on the 7th floor.

"I thought you got lost along the way", he said without the humor I expected to find in his voice.

"I had an accident with Filch but I'm here now, so did something happen? You're so serious", I said approaching him by the window and leaning on the window sill by his side.

"Yeah, sort of, I've been thinking a lot the last few days about what's going to happen", he took a deep breath before continuing. "And this time is different, this time I might have a choice".

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, he didn't want to be like his parents, it's not a new thing but to really stand up to them?

"I'm putting together a plan, well I was. I need to know if you want to be in it with me", I could see my own reflection in his eyes.

"Of course, as long as we end up alive at the end. What's the plan?", he grinned and explained to me the little bit that was already right in his plan.

He wouldn't go to Malfoy Manor for Christmas, instead he would have to sell something to get enough money to rent a room, which isn't hard considering his shoes are worth more than all the Hogwarts school supplies tripled. I didn't have to check to know it's true.

"That's a good start but I don't think it will be necessary, what do you think about coming back with me for Christmas? My parents won't mind. They want to meet you and it would be harder to find you there", he was staring at me intensely but not saying anything, I started to think I had said something stupid. "Draco? It was just a suggestion...you don't have to come with me if you're not comfortable and...", he gave me a quick kiss and smiled at me.

"I'd love to go spend Christmas with your family, and then we can think about what to do after that", he said moving closer to me to the point where our lips touched.

I agreed with a small nod and we kissed again, this time for much longer. The weather was perfect, the cold wind contrasting with my warm skin from the blond's touches, for me we could stay there forever.

A week later, another letter arrived for Draco during our breakfast in the Great Hall and his expression changed as soon as he picked up the paper.

"Draco?", he didn't answer me and continued reading and rereading non-stop with the most grim expression I have ever seen on his face. "Draco, can you talk to me?", I whispered and even with him beside me, I couldn't read a whole sentence.

He simply got up and left in a hurry, I wasn't going to stay and pretend that everything was fine. I didn't bother to make an excuse, since most of the table stopped to pay attention to what was going on, I walked out a little behind him and it wasn't hard to catch up.

"Draco! What the hell are you doing? We were going to work it out together, you don't have to run from me like you do the others", I said approaching in the middle of the empty hallway. "You're still not going to talk to me?", I said with my arms crossed zero percent intimidated by his angry expression.

"And for what? You can't do anything for me now. The plan has failed, they're going to ask the principal to send me home tomorrow", he started pacing back and forth, his hands clenched tightly, fear and despair formed a powerful alliance inside him

I had no idea what to say, what could be said to make this better? His steps became harder against the ground and I was sure that at some point something would be broken if we continued there.

"Come on love, let's skip class today. Let's think of another plan, you won't become one of them, I promise", I held his tense arm and guided him quickly into the dungeon.

"You can't promise that, how can you be so sure?", I could see a glimmer of hope that I wasn't going to let go."Because I will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen, okay?", I slid my hand down his arm until I found his.

It was a long day, we barely slept that night as we were both unsure if our idea would work out or not.

The next morning I awoke to an unusual movement downstairs, the clock I had been given by my parents showed a little over five in the morning. My friends didn't even move in their beds as I walked closer to the door to hear what was being said and I didn't recognize those voices.

"I will call him Mr. Malfoy, please settle down", was Professor Snape's voice and after that silence came.

Damn it, there wouldn't be time to escape as we had planned. I took a deep breath and started to think, I wouldn't stay here, I had to do something, I had to think but the sound of my own heart was getting in the way. I hadn't noticed that I was shaking until I took a step back to my bed, my legs had almost gone weak.

A few nerve-wracking minutes later, as if I had drawn it to me from thinking about him so much, I heard Draco's voice in my hallway moving closer to my room.

"She won't mind, I'm sure", I could hear clearly through the door and I was sure that if it had been any other student, not only would he not have made it upstairs but he would also have gotten the scolding of the century.

The door was opened and the first thing Draco did was to quickly push me back near the bed before Snape appeared inside the room as well.

"Miss Lewis, you may also go with Mr. Malfoy, your Christmas break will also be early. Your parents will be waiting in the Great Hall Mr. Malfoy", and he stood there until Draco left the room but he didn't leave before giving me a quick hug.

"Wait for me in the common hall", he left unaware that his voice had made me shakier than I already was.

"They let you leave early because the Malfoys asked? That's so unfair", the girls were all awake. "Will you two be quiet? I still want to get some sleep before breakfast time", the second one said, still covered up.

After that complaint, they went to sleep while I took a shower and tried to process what had just happened and what was going to happen. I got dressed in one of my warmest clothing, I grabbed my suitcase that was already packed and went downstairs, it wasn't even past six in the morning, no one but my boyfriend was there and I barely set foot on the floor when he ran up to me.

"We don't have much time, we'll have to go with them but I'll make sure we get out before the meeting starts. It won't take more than 5 minutes", he hugged me tightly and I smiled as soon as the strong smell of his cologne hit me, I rested my chin on his shoulder and we stood like that for a few minutes.

"We'll be fine, the end of our plan still works", I spoke softly and I could notice the skin on his neck got goosebumps."I'm just going to let it go because it's not the time for that sir”, I said with a grin across my face.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, miss. We better go soon, the faster we go, the faster this is over", he kissed me before we walked hand in hand down the halls.

“Draco, why didn't you let us know your girlfriend was coming to visit us for Christmas earlier?”, his mother was the first to speak as soon as we approached them, her tone was nice but her smile trembled.

As soon as we started our relationship we talked it over and thought it would be best not to mention to his parents that I came from a muggle foster family. We knew it would be impossible to keep this secret since his parents are quite "protective", so he only mentioned me when he had no other choice.

I already knew that there would be one reason for them to be polite to me, I had not been judged on whether I was appropriate or not yet. They weren't giving me the benefit of the doubt, they were giving it to Draco's choices.

"I must have forgotten but it doesn't make that much difference, does it?", he said calmly and I pretended I hadn't seen his father's expression harden.

"We shall be going, I can't waste any more time here”, the disgusted tone in his voice left me more surprised than anything else.

Since no one can apparate on the grounds of Hogwarts, we walked to Hogsmeade in awkward silence. His parents walked imposingly in front of us and we were right behind them holding hands, only communicating by glances. Once we got far enough, we stopped on the dusty road at the entrance to the small village.

"Alright you two, Draco you know how it works, dear, have you ever apparated before?", she was kind enough to ask me. "No Mrs. Malfoy, I have never apparated".

"The first time is complicated but you'll be fine”, she held her husband's arm and in one second we were standing in the middle of the road and the next we weren't.

Harry Potter Masterlist

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Things We Didn't Tell You...

Harry Potter- Set during the first war

Summary:  Hiding your relationship with Sirius from your brother Remus was a bad idea from day one. Now he's finding out that and other secrets that the two of you have kept.

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader

Rating: M- for future chapters

_____

She’s off-limits! It's too dangerous.

Sirius’ eyes snapped open as Remus’ words echoed in his head. He knew that hiding his relationship with you from his friend was wrong. Remus would be furious when he found out. If he tried to kill him, Sirius wouldn’t be surprised! You were the younger sister that Remus swore to protect. Now here you were fooling around with one of his brother’s best friends.

It's because of your reputation.

Sirius thought calmly. He knew that fact perfectly well. Had it been James or Peter that wanted to be your lover, Remus may have been a bit more accepting. Sirius, no matter how much Remus cared for him, never would have gotten his friend’s approval. He was too wild, a womanizer, and too involved with the order. Sirius understood. Had the roles been reversed and he was in Remus’ shoes; Sirius would have said a big hell no but that thought alone didn’t stop him from falling in love with you.

All it took was one look from your beautiful green eyes and Sirius was hooked. He would have done anything that you asked. Roll around in a puddle of mud? Spoil you senseless? Whatever you asked was yours. That was what led to the current predicament. The two of you had been in a secret relationship for over 2 years. Both of you decided that it was best to just act as friends around the people that you cared about the most.

“Thinking about tomorrow?”

You asked, tiredly. You had woken up a few moments ago and noticed Sirius looking at the ceiling with that look. You had seen that dark expression on his face too many times in the past year.

“How could I not be? We are literally about to get our asses handed to us.”

You slowly sat up and laid your head on his shoulder. He wasn’t joking in the slightest and you knew it. You would have killed for one of his jokes at the moment.

“Maybe Remus will take it okay? He could have just been giving the ceremonial overprotective brother speech to scare any man from wanting me.”

Sirius chuckled.

“Didn’t work well, did it?”

You were relieved when Sirius smiled. He was right. It didn’t work in the slightest! Maybe, in ways, Remus’ actions drove you into Sirius’ waiting arms.

“Not really. There’s no way we can hide it anymore though. I am sick of hiding too.”

You said, sadly. 2 years of hiding had been exhausting! You hated having to “keep up appearances.” Sirius had to flirt with any woman he could find so Remus and the others wouldn’t grow suspicious. He couldn’t go from man whore to totally disinterested in the female race altogether.

Your eyes froze on the baby blanket at the foot of the bed. That was the other reason that Sirius and yourself couldn't hide any longer. Your 9-month-old daughter Demelza lay sleeping peacefully a few feet away.

None of your friends even knew of her existence. You had expertly hidden your pregnancy the whole time. No one seemed to have the foggiest idea of what was going on underneath your dresses.

Sirius had been in Ireland keeping an eye on some death eater activity when you found out about your condition. You had conned the others into thinking that you were going to France when in fact you were going to Ireland. Sure, it probably wouldn't have made more sense to come clean once you found out that you were pregnant but the two of you were so freaked out...telling didn’t happen.

When Sirius received the letter to come back to London the week before it was time to face the fact that it was time to face the music. There would be no way that you could show back up to London with a baby who looked extraordinarily like her father with little to no explanation. Remus was too smart for his own good and would put 2 and 2 together within seconds.

“I’ve been sick of hiding for a long time.”

Sirius replied. He was silent for a few moments before taking your hand in his.

“I’m not scared of facing your brother. What bothers me is the fact that I have essentially been lying to him for two years.”

You slowly looked up from your place on his shoulder.

“I have too. Look, we did what we did because we both know that Remus would have flipped.”

“It's not like he can stop us from being together now.”

Sirius whispered. Mentally, he thanked Demelza for showing up when she did. Never in a million years did he plan on having a child but when you told him that you were pregnant...nothing else mattered. All Sirius cared about at that point was keeping you healthy and safe.

Yes, it would have been nice to have the support of his friends (especially James) at that particular point in his life. There had been many nights that Sirius and yourself sat outside of Demelza’s nursery at 3 am waiting for the baby to scream herself to sleep. The two of you had done everything to make the baby sleepy and nothing worked.

“Is she ever going to stop crying?”

Sirius muttered peaking through the cracked door to see his very angry daughter, not the least bit interested in sleeping. Instead, she was sitting up, rearranging how everything was in her crib. She was being a bit more dramatic than necessary.

“I don’t know what else to do. We’ve fed her like every 30 minutes for the past two hours. We’ve changed her. Now she is in there throwing a hissy fit like her father.”

Sirius gave you a scowl.

“Now we know why we have had to change her so much. We are never going to sleep again, are we?”

You sighed and put your head against the door.

“I don’t think so. Too bad we can’t bribe her yet.”

Sirius chuckled, wishing that he could get Lily over. She was great with kids. Of all people, she could figure out what the problem was.

“Already tried.”

He confessed.

“She doesn't seem to be the least bit interested.”

Sirius smiled at the memory. Luckily, both of you had gotten a lot better with getting Demelza to sleep when she didn’t want to.

“We should try to get some sleep. 6 am comes early.”

The morning did in fact come earlier than expected. Sirius and yourself stood outside of James and Lily’s house looking at the door like two naughty children. Sirius motioned to the door while adjusting Demelza in his arms.

“Well...what are we waiting for?”

You blinked, giving him the sassiest expression ever. It didn’t matter that the situation was so grave; Sirius still thought that expression was the cutest thing ever. He had already seen Demelza give him that expression far too many times.

“So, that is where she gets that look.”

You smiled and finally knocked on the door.

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire.”

Sirius’ amused expression quickly vanished and the dark one returned.

The moment the door opened, James stood on the other side. His face went from joy to see his best friend to sheer confusion.

“Uh, have I missed something?”

Sirius nodded.

“It's what you are thinking.”

Sirius said, softly. James looked between the two of you a couple of times. He clearly had no idea what to say. James had been looking forward to Sirius coming back to London for some time. Now here he stood with Remus Lupin’s sister and a baby.

“Whoa. I was totally not expecting this. She looks just like you, mate.”

That was all that Sirius needed to hear to know that James wasn’t mad. In fact, he looked down right giddy. This was the last thing that James had expected! He had expected Sirius to just be the fun godfather that had no interest in children of his own. Now here he stood holding a baby.

“Harry will have a little friend. Think about a few years from now when school time comes…”

Sirius smiled.

“Poor Minnie is going to cry. There are two more of us.”

James turned his attention to you.

“Off to France, huh? That was clever and sneaky. I am impressed. I knew that you were more than just some bookworm.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that. Being more than a bookworm was always a joke that James lovingly made in your direction.

“I can be sneaky.”

You said with a smile.

“Is Remus here?”

You asked. James' amused expression vanished. He knew that the two of you would have to face Remus and it probably wasn’t going to be pretty. Remus was in a mood from the full moon anyway now he was about to find out that his best friend and sister ran off and had a baby.

James had a good idea about how nervous you had to be. From the time that James met you, you had always been your brother’s pet. If someone messed with you, they had to deal with Remus and of course the rest of his friends. You were the same way about your brother in turn. James and Sirius always accredited your overprotective mothering to Remus’ furry little problem.

“He is. I’ll play middle man.”

James said with a smile.

The walk into the dinning room seemed to take forever. James glanced at the two of you. It didn’t take him being Sirius’ best friend to know that he was nervous. The smooth cocky demeanor that Sirius normally possessed was nowhere to be found.

James stepped into the dining room first. Remus was busy reading a book. He didn’t even notice his friend's absence. It was Lily, who was holding Harry, that looked up.

“What took so long? Where is Sirius?”

James faked a smile as Remus looked up. His friend looked extremely tired but curious as to what was going on.

“So...I want you all to keep an open mind about what you are about to see.”

“I don’t like conversations that start this way.”

Remus said warily. James nodded as he reached behind him and opened the door.

The moment that Sirius and yourself stepped in, both Lily and Remus’ mouths dropped. Both looked between the two of you as they clearly put everything together.

“What’s going on here?”

Remus asked. His voice was already beginning to tremble. You stepped forward shutting Sirius off from being able to start talking.

“It's what it looks like, Remus.” Your brother ran a hand over his face. He was getting angrier by the second and you could see it. You could also see that he was ill.

It's too close to the moon.

You thought as he stood.

“How long has this been going on?”

Sirius wrapped his free arm around your waist to hold you against him.

“Two years.”

You said, calmly.

Remus meanwhile, was a stone short of going into a tizzy. He had specifically told Sirius that you were off limits. You were too young to be in a committed relationship and Sirius had no idea what a committed relationship was.

Now here the two of you stood saying that there had been some ultra secret two year relationship that resulted in a niece that Remus had no idea of.

“You’re telling me that the two of you have been in a relationship and have a baby? Was it too hard for the two of you to send a letter? Talk to me in person? Sirius, this is the most backhanded lowly thing that you could have…”

You quickly stepped in.

“Remus don’t say something that you will regret later.”

You tried to keep your voice calm and even. Yelling at Remus when he was in this state would get no one anywhere.

“I won’t regret this…”

Remus started. Sirius, meanwhile, noticed how shaky his friend was.

“Remus, you should sit…”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Remus yelled. Sirius raised an eyebrow. This was probably the angriest that he had ever seen Remus Lupin. The voice of reason was now the one that was ready to kick ass.

“Do you have to have every woman, Sirius? When are you going to start having an affair with someone else or have you already gotten bored with Y/n?”

“Stop it!”

Sirius snapped. Remus didn’t back down. Remus knew that he needed to calm down but he couldn't. His eyes went to his niece. The little girl had Sirius’ shirt clasped in one pudgy fist. Her grey eyes were watching her uncle’s every move.

“I’ve got to get out of here!”

Remus snapped as he turned and walked out of the opposite door with a huff. James took a deep breath.

“And there we have it.”

He turned his attention to Sirius who was looking gloomily at the place where Remus stood. James put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

“He’ll be alright. You know that he didn’t mean what he said.”

“Yeah, he did.”

Sirius replied. James absentmindedly scratched the back of his head.

“Just give him some time. Now let me hold the baby.”

Sirius gently put Demelza in James’ arms. James smiled looking down at her. He saw you and Remus in the little girl’s serious expression. She quickly looked back to her father as if keeping an eye on him.

“He isn’t going anywhere.”

James said, softly.

“What’s her name?”

“Demelza.”

You replied. Lily had stood up and joined her husband in admiring the little girl.

“That’s lovely. She is lovely.”

James let Lily have her turn with the little girl. He turned back to Sirius and yourself.

“Did you tell your parents?”

Sirius shook his head.

“They are the last people that I would tell anything.”

James nodded.

“Probably for the best. Come on, let's go get a drink.”

Sirius leaned down and kissed your cheek before following James out of the room.

Lily meanwhile, turned to you.

“Come sit down, love. You look exhausted.”

You sighed.

“I don’t sleep much. Sirius and I were both worried about how Remus was going to take it...I knew that it was going to be a disaster.”

Lily used her free hand to hold yours.

“Y/n, he was probably shocked. I was. Let him calm down. This is Remus that we are talking about. We all know how much he loves you.”

Lily was silent for a moment before looking back to you.

“Why didn’t you write James and I? We would have been there with you two the whole way.”

You looked down at your feet feeling suddenly depressed.

“We were afraid that you two would tell Remus. Sirius and I didn’t know who to tell him...it all kind of went out of control. We were going to tell him before I got pregnant. When I found out, we both panicked...to say the least.”

Lily understood. She wasn’t upset with either of you.

“I just hate the thought of you giving birth in a hospital without any support. How did Sirius handle it?”

Lily was relieved when you giggled.

“He panicked a few times. I almost had to tell him to sit down and shut up.”

Lily shook her head with a smile.

“I would have liked to have seen that. Should you two have any more children...I want to witness it.”

“You will be the first to know...should that happen. I think one is enough for now.”

Lily smiled down at the baby girl on her lap. Demelza was happily playing with the bracelet on Lily’s wrist.

“She has the Black family good looks but I see you in there. She has your dainty features. I can’t wait for Harry to wake up so he can meet her.”

The two of you immediately looked up at each other.

“So do we make bets on who will be the bigger trouble makers? James and Sirius or Demelza and Harry.”

You took a breath. James and Sirius’ wild behavior was no secret to Lily or yourself. You had witnessed a lot of their shenanigans while in school. Now you had to wonder if Demelza would be giving her father a run for his money?

“I guess time will tell on that one. Lily, I know that Sirius is going to talk to James about this so I’m going to talk to you about it. We want you two to be her godparents. If anything should happen…”

“WE WOULD LOVE TO!”

Lily squealed.

“I want Remus to be involved too but I don’t think he would be up to raising a baby...right now that is. I can only hope that he wants something to do with her.”

Demelza had snuggled herself against Lily’s chest and yawned. Lily stroked her finger down the baby’s cheek.

“How could he not want to? Look at this sweet little face. He’s going to love her. Don’t even worry about that.”

As Lily gently rocked Demelza to sleep, you sat pondering her words. You could only hope that your friend was right. Maybe you could talk to Remus once he returned from wherever he went. Hopefully this time he will listen….

____

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[blacklilyqueen]

Imperio

A while ago I had this horrible idea of Sirius being forced to kill Marlene, so here it is.

Warning: Angst, major character death

Word count: 1927

Tag list: @padfootagain @marvelcapsicle @matrixaffiliate @blackinnon-until-the-very-end @marlmckitten @mckinnon1979

Sirius opened his eyes. Nothing, just black. Again he pinched them together, opened them and tried once again to recognize anything, but remained unsuccessful. His surroundings were shrouded in deep darkness and made it impossible for him to have even a hint of where he was. Slowly he tried to get up, but something kept him from doing so and instead forced him to stay there as if he was bound by a spell. When he realized that he would not succeed on this path, he tried to remember what had happened last.

He had been on his way home when they suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Three Death Eaters who had ambushed and surrounded. He had been busy fending off two of their attacks when the third suddenly turned his wand against Sirius and a red lightning struck him right in the chest. Afterwards? Nothing. Until he finally woke up in this dark room without knowing exactly where he was. The only thing he knew was that he had a huge problem.

All of a sudden he heard footsteps approaching him and the next moment a door that he hadn't even noticed before opened. By the light that from outside he could see the silhouette of a person entering the room and lighting some candles so that Sirius could finally see more. The room itself had nothing special to offer, except for the few candlesticks it was completely empty, but through the fire he could now see the face of the person in front of him. His breath stopped when eyes as grey as his sparkled at him, a disgusting grin on her face. Bellatrix.

"Well, who do we have here? Has ickle Sirius strayed here?"

"Fuck off," he had just pronounced the words when suddenly a piercing pain ran through him. Every cell of his body seemed to burn, his whole body bent and he screamed loudly. As fast as the pain had come, it vanished and Sirius could hear the crazy witch's nagging laugh.

"Watch your language, little cousin. Didn't Auntie Walburga teach you?"

"What do you want from me?" Knowing that Bellatrix would torture him any time just for pleasure, he asked her the question because something told him that this time there was more to it than just her usual hatred for him.

"Well, actually it's not about you, but much more about that little blood traitor slut you love to spend time with. What was her name again? Marlene?"

"I swear to you, if you get too close to her I will-," before he could finish the sentence, he lay screaming on the floor again, the pain even worse than the first time.

"Then you will what? I doubt that you are capable of doing anything at all at the moment. So back to your little girlfriend. Where is she right now?"

"Do you really think that I would tell you anything? If so then you are actually even dumber than I thought. You can torture me as long as you want, but you will certainly not get any information from me," Sirius didn't know what reaction he expected, but to his surprise Bellatrix just started to laugh.

"Sweet, naive Sirius, I'm not going to torture you for this. I will torture you, yes, but certainly not because of that, what would the point be. But there are some nice other methods to get what you want to know," she took a little break. Her face had become a grimace as she pointed her wand at Sirius. "Imperio. So again, where is Marlene?”

Sirius felt his head getting heavier and heavier. His own thoughts suddenly seemed unimportant and the only thing he could think of was the question he had just been asked. His mouth opened a little when a voice in his head yelled loudly at him not to do it. Slowly he understood what he was about to do and tried to free himself from his trance. Bellatrix seemed to have noticed this and pointed her wand at him again and the next moment it was all blurry again.

"She is… She..." he tried frantically not to say the words, but her magic was so strong that he couldn't help it. "She is with her family. They are all at home with their parents.”

As soon as he had said it, he understood what he had just done, despite his still very foggy senses. The whole thing was only made worse by Bellatrix. Her eyes sparkled in psychopathic euphoria and a horrible mad laughter echoed from all corners of the room.

"See, it wasn’t that hard. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I should pay the little one a visit. After all, she almost belongs to the family thanks to you."

Compulsively Sirius tried to free himself from the magic spell that kept him from any movement, but it was impossible. Swearing, he shouted at Bellatrix, who found his hopeless attempts all too amusing. The show of her blood traitor cousin falling apart at the thought that he might lose Marlene gave her a new idea. And even for the disturbed witch, it made even some of Bellatrix's previous cruelties look like a bad joke.

Happy laughter was carried outside through the open windows of the living room. Lately, it has become increasingly rare for all McKinnon siblings to gather at their parents' and spend time together. Nicolai and Iliana, the two elders, had moved out many years ago and even had children playing outside in the large garden. Kagan was busy with his ministry work almost around the clock and rarely had a day off. Cole wanted to see as much of the world as possible before settling back in Scotland and thinking about his future. And Marlene was busy almost daily with missions for the Order in these difficult times. All this made the carefree moments like these, when they could just laugh together, all the more precious.

But everything beautiful must come to an end and unfortunately it was time for this one to. A red bolt of light shot through the room out of nowhere and hit Mr. McKinnon right in the chest, causing him to tip over from the chair as if frozen. The rest of the family pulled their wands as fast as they could. Nicolai and Iliana ran into the garden with their partners to get the children to safety as quickly as possible.

Another flash, this time green, shot into the room and only missed Marlene by a hair's breadth. Tense, she stared out of the window and tried to find the origin of the whole thing when she was under fire again. She fended off the spells as good as she could, but it seemed to her as if they were getting more and more.

From the part of the garden she couldn't see, she heard loud screams and could clearly hear the voices of her siblings, brothers-in-law and nieces, all panicked and confused. The rest of the family wanted to rush to them, but at that moment three Death Eaters appeared. Luckily, they were able to take on them with their combined strength. But as soon as that was done, they heard footsteps in the room above them. The two remaining brothers made their way up to take care of the Death Eaters there.

Again Marlene and her mother tried to help their family outside and were again surrounded by Death Eaters. This time there were not only three, but six. Each of the McKinnon women tried to take on three of them and were separated from each other until Mrs. McKinnon had finally completely disappeared from the room and her daughter's field of vision.

By that time, Marlene had already managed to take out two Death Eaters. The last one, however, was much more persistent than his two fellow combatants and so he managed to disarm Marlene in an uncovered moment. Her wand flew through the air and landed at the other end of the room. The Death Eater pointed his wand at her again. Panic spread all over her body and at the same time it was as if her heart stood still and maybe it did for a moment. She heard the spell being called before she saw the bright light. Although she wanted to fight, although she wanted to live, she was already prepared to die.

She didn't know what she was realizing first. The fact that she in fact wasn't dead or the fact that it wasn't the Death Eater in front of her who had just cast the spell. Logically, she should have heard immediately that the words were being spoken behind her and that the bright light was flashing past her from behind. And yet it was only the motionless body of the Death Eater that fell hard to the ground, that made her realize that she was not dead, and only then came the realization that he could not be the cause of it.

Jerkily she turned around and to her great joy saw her father standing in front of her with his wand raised. Although he still had to lean against the table with one hand, he seemed to be doing well by and large. Relief spread to Marlene. Her father also seemed relieved that his youngest was well. He just opened his mouth to say something when a green lightning hit him and this time he finally went down.

Marlene gave a terrible scream. Every inch of her body was burning to run to him, to scream at him to get up, but the small rational part in her head prevailed that advised at her to see where the danger had come from. She turned her head in the direction of the stairs to the upper floors to locate the source of the curse and looked into the face she unfortunately knew all too well. Bellatrix Lestrange.

"I'm sorry to just barge in here, but a little birdie told me I'd find you here and what could be a better way to meet my baby cousin's newest whore?”

"Better than killing my family? Yes, I'm sure for you there's nothing better. So are you going to just kill me with avada kedavra now or are you just going to keep talking and hope I die because you're wasting all the oxygen?"

"I'm supposed to kill you? Oh, no, where's the fun in that? He'll do that for me," another figure appeared on command, and when Marlene realized who it was, it made her blood freeze.

"Sirius?"

But there was no answer. He just stood there as if in a trance, his gaze stubbornly directed at her and yet he didn't really seem to look at her. His face was completely free of emotion and his movements resembled those of a creepy puppet when he reached for his wand and pointed it at her.

"Sirius, no! Don't do this! She manipulates you. Snap out of it! SNAP OUT OF IT! SIRIUS!"

But no matter what she screamed, nothing seemed to reach him. Her screams became louder and louder, more and more desperate. Tears began to flood her face. Her screaming became more and more a plea, a hope to reach the part of him that was his true self.

"Sirius, please," it was only a small whisper, but it was all the strength she had left and in the next moment she saw the green light coming towards her.

---------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it, there will probably be a second part in which Sirius realizes what he did.

[billowsandsmoke]

Do you think James Potter changed and grew up in school? He was nasty as ever to Snape, and Lily didn't know the full extent of what happened in the Werewolf Incident. It seemed like that growing up happened after he was married and in the Order.

tl;dr: James Potter was always moral and didn’t need to “grow up” according to to the way his society categorizes and assigns morality

It’s a bit of a tricky subject, becausewe really know so little about James and Lily as young adults, both duringschool and after. On one hand, I’d like to think that James became a betterperson (I won’t say “grew up,” as I feel that implies that his bullyingwas simply “childish”/”boys will be boys” behavior) before he and Lily starteddating, since I’d like to think that Lily wouldn’t want to be with someone likethat. On the other hand, we also see her stifling a laugh during Snape’s WorstMemory, which isn’t an instance of her protecting herself against bigotry orhandling a situation like a teenager–she’s laughing at her supposed friend’spain and humiliation. Is it possible that feeling hurt/betrayed by Snape’ssocial decisions made her a little more callous towards Slytherins?Is it possible that she became harsher, rather than that James became kinder?Of course, even if this were the case (and I’m only using that one detail as abasis for that), this doesn’t mean that Remus’ comments about Lily’s kindnessare untrue. We have every reason to believe that she showed Remus a great dealof compassion, and was similarly a faithful friend and ally to everyone in theOrder. Yet, this is within an insular, like-minded group. By also looking atSirius, who would die for his friends but wouldn’t mind murdering anotherstudent because “Slytherins are Death Eaters,” we can see a pattern of howmorality and political affiliation are both linked and set in stark contrastwith one another. Within this mindset, there is a strong “us versus them”/”goodversus evil” mentality—of course a “good” person would want to fight peoplelike Bellatrix and Greyback—but the problem lies in the wide brushstroke thatgroups together Bellatrix/Greyback with people like Snape and Regulus. Even thefour of them have vastly different backgrounds, motivations, and moral codes,yet the Order and “good”-coded students are made blind to this in part by theway that Dumbledore’s primes the Gryffindors for the Order and allows Slytherinstudents to be alienated and absorbed into the Death Eater fold. By usingpolitics to erase the potential for bipartisan understanding and compassion, Dumbledorecreates what seems to be a morally unambiguous conflict, which encourages thepeople coded as “good” to take up the fight without question. Interestinglyenough, this is the exact opposite of Sirius’ “there aren’t just goodpeople and Death Eaters” quote, though JKR has commented on this inconsistency:

“Sirius is very good at spouting bits of excellent personalphilosophy, but he does not always live up to them. For instance, he says in“Goblet of Fire” that if you want to know what a man is really like,‘look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.’ But Sirius loathesKreacher, the house-elf he has inherited, and treats him with nothing butcontempt. Similarly, Sirius claims that nobody is wholly good or wholly evil,and yet the way he acts towards Snape suggests that he cannot conceive of anylatent good qualities there. Of course, these double standards exist in most ofus; we might know how we ought to behave, but actually doing it is a differentmatter.”But I’ve gotten away from the question somewhat. People seemconvinced that James must have changed, but I don’t see any more evidence ofthat than of the contrary. In fact, now that I’m thinking of it, it may havebeen James’ environment that changed, rather than his behavior. During school,he makes it his business to torment Snape, who he codes as “bad/DeathEater” (in a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy), and then after school,he joins a group that fights Death Eaters. His “fighting” Snape at schoolis nothing more than practice for the real world, where this behavior isno longer “bullying” but “heroism.” (And at times rightfully so—thereis no question that Voldemort is evil and must be stopped.) However, it’s alsovery interesting that this transition happens so seamlessly, which again, issomething that I believe can be laid at Dumbledore’s feet due to the way heencourages the polarization of the student body and refuses to address the waythat Voldemort has manipulated the definition of Slytherin values in order tobuild his following. In other words, this political environment turns Hogwartsinto a kind of training ground in which certain moral categories areestablished and children are taught who is “the enemy.” We see this in ThePrince’s Tale before they are even sorted, as I’ve pointed out in a previousdiscussion:

“James immediately establishes that hesubscribes to the idea that all Slytherins are evil: he says to Sirius, afterhe admits that his whole family has been in Slytherin, “I thought you seemedalright!” Neither Snape nor Sirius have voiced any opinions on blood purity orDark magic, but James already categorizes them on a moral level based on theiraffiliation to Slytherin. When Snape sneers at James’ desire to be inGryffindor (to be fair, he is just dishing out what James just served him), healso categorizes James based on house stereotypes: Gryffindor as “brawny ratherthan brainy.” In the next moment, we see Sirius weigh his knowledge of hisfamily with this Slytherin reputation and then throw his weight behind the boyin the car who is clearly going to win this fight: “Where’re you planning togo, seeing as you’re neither?” Sirius has no idea whether Snape is clever ornot, and clearly the comment is just his way of announcing his allegiance. (Asif to say, “I don’t want to be a bad guy like those Slytherins; I’m going to beas nasty as possible to anyone with that affiliation to prove to my new friendthat I’m not one of them.”) Lily, of course, has no dialogue through thisentire altercation, because she doesn’t know what it “means” to be a Gryffindoror a Slytherin.

With this in mind, it actually makes lesssense for James to have changed between school and his time in the Order, becauseagain, according to this moral structure, he was never doing anything wrong. Hisbehavior went from going unchecked (at school) to being rewarded (in theOrder). In fact, the only person who ever criticizes this behavior is Lily,because as I’ve pointed out, she was raised outside the system and (for awhile) judges people based only on their moral or immoral decisions—notaccording to whatever their house categorizes them as. Of course, onemuggleborn and a low-class half-blood are no match for the system, and so thesecategorizations appear to be substantiated by the end of their friendship,leaving Lily to confirm that “Slytherins are bad” and Snape to question, “Am Ibad?”There remains the question of James saving Snape during thewerewolf incident, but I’ve written before about how that “prank” could’vemeant death for Remus as much as it meant death for Snape. I believe James wassaving the former rather than the latter, judging by both that context and thefact that SWM happens after thewerewolf incident, showing that James has not developed any sense of compassionor morality in this regard. (This also makes Dumbledore’s insistence that Snapeowes James a life debt even more infuriating to Snape, and adds to his sense ofbeing unsupported and demonized by the Gryffindor-coded administration.)Though, going back to my last point, I use the term “morality” veryloosely, because what’s the difference between fighting evil Death Eaters atschool or out of school?Again, I’m not convinced that this line of reasoning hasenough textual evidence to say that it’s for certain, but I do think it firmlyholds its own when viewed through this political lens. Though, even if all thiscould be argued with certainty, it still doesn’t make either James orLily “bad” people any more than Snape, Sirius, or Regulus are “bad”people, so much as victims of a highly divisive war in which the opposing sidesuse the structure of an education system to prime their recruits. If Jamesnever changed, this does not mean that he wasn’t a good, loving husband andfather. It doesn’t change the fact that he was prepared to face Voldemortwandless and selflessly accept death in the hope that his wife and child couldescape. To reiterate, if James never changed, then it was likely because hisenvironment wasn’t conducive to that change, and because his behavior wasn’t calledinto question or deemed immoral. Snape, Sirius, Remus, and even Dumbledore fallinto that category even more readily—they remain stagnant because they areemotionally isolated, and because their various flawed and destructive mindsetsfall into the status quo of this system.

If you noticed an evolution of opinionfrom my first comment to now, it’s because I hadn’t quite thought of thequestion through this particular lens. Perhaps we assume that James changedbecause we also struggle to cast off this strict paradigm of “good” versus“bad,” and to accept that his changing or not changing does not make him one orthe other. As always, I am firmly against being “anti-Marauders” or “anti-Snape”or “anti-Dumbledore,” and instead in favor of grasping at the kind ofinterpersonal empathy that this generation was deprived of—and deeply harmedby.please ask me more questions. like there went my afternoon but also wow look atthat developing nuance

thank you~