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softluci · 4 years ago

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aggressive affection (round two!)

[ part two of this, with the now dateables. guess which one(s) i have a crush on—i am actually so embarrassed because i'm getting shy trying to write this, but it's a must that i put this into the universe. if you want to read this first, rather than the one with the brothers, here is the preface: ]

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,” “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth.

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

dia

you—why did you—look.

dia is a very nice, social guy; very smiley, you guys get along great, that's great!

he is still very much a demon (the prince of them, in fact) and very much not one of your friends from the human world, no matter how much he wants you to treat him as such.

you should've known better.

he'd invited you to the castle for tea and a nice chat—a regular occurrence between the two of you so that he could see how you were doing, how the program was going, talk about lucifer, play catch up; nothing out of the ordinary.

he complimented you on your performance thus far, telling you about how well you've done—which was just standard kindness—so would you like to explain to the class why your immediate response was, “so kiss me then,” ?

he was totally fine with it, but he was also very confused, so it was only fair that he pulled you into his lap to get a better understanding of what you meant. if you do the math, it adds up, i swear.

luckily, you don’t even have to explain yourself with this one because it seems like he already knows. this is good because, given his proximity to you at that moment, you wouldn’t have done a good job explaining yourself anyway.

“is this how you talk to your human friends?”

it was a simple question, with a simple answer, it’s just that you were nose-to-nose, and his eyes were hooded all of a sudden and his hand was cupping the side of your face so, naturally, you had some difficulty forming words—fortunately, you managed to nod instead of embarrassing yourself by trying to talk.

“and do they ever do what you ask?”

again, it would’ve been foolish of you to try and speak, so you just shook your head. you were doing a surprisingly nice job of maintaining your dignity, well done! this is nice compensation for the fact that you seemed to forget you were dealing with the demon of demons, but he was kind enough to remind you—

“well, i’m not one of them, so i’ll do as you say. you don’t mind, right?”

do you have a saving grace with this man? meh. he doesn’t want to do anything in front of the others, but he can literally go somewhere private with you under the guise of wanting to talk. it’s not like anyone is gonna tell him he can’t.

barbatos

you don’t make any sense. you watched black butler know that he’s the scariest person in the devildom, why did you think you could do this? he might be a menace not too far underneath that professional exterior, but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck around and find out. or maybe that’s exactly what that means.

all he did was bring you tea. he saw you sitting in the castle’s library doing schoolwork—dia offered to let you study there to enjoy some quiet that you wouldn’t have gotten at the house, and because you aren’t one to forgo such a kind gesture, you accepted.

he set it down on the table in front of you, much to your surprise.

“oh, thank you! you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him from your seat.

“nonsense,” he started, smiling softly, “you’ve been working hard.”

you, for whatever reason, took this as an opportunity to pretend barbatos was one of your human friends.

“you shouldn’t say that unless—”

that’s all he let you say. what you were going to say was, “you shouldn’t say that unless you plan on making out with me.” trouble was, he already knew that. you must have forgotten who you were talking to.

before you could finish, his hand was under your chin, and his other hand was resting on the arm of your chair, effectively caging you in, and effectively keeping you from looking away.

his smile went from benevolent to teasing meaning you got the menace you wanted, as he asked,“unless what?”

he took more joy in your flustered state than he would care to admit, but he’d recently learned that you had an affinity for trying to catch people off guard, so he thought it was more than fair to do the same to you—as a treat, for him.

that said, it’s no surprise that you had to endure relentless teasing, him asking you what you wanted from him, why you were so shy all of a sudden, telling you not to be shy and that he wouldn’t bite, unless you asked nicely. what? he liked how warm your face made his hand.

“what’s wrong? don’t you want to kiss me?”

okay. that was the last straw. you never even hinted that you didn’t wanna kiss this man, and here he was, making assumptions about you as a person.

you, in your infinite confidence and assertive nature, said, “i—i never said i didn’t want to.”

and you know what, you really showed him because even though he laughed at you, even though he made a show of taking off his gloves, even though his hand moved from the arm of the chair to your thigh—even though he took every necessary step to remind you that he was in control, you still got what you wanted. and then some.

your only saving grace with him is the fact that he breathes professionalism and he’s always busy. when he isn’t busy, however. well.

simeon

you goddamn heathen. oh, you fucking freak. simeon has a reputation to uphold, you can’t treat him like one of your heathen little human friends, which means you can’t just say whatever pops into your head when you’re talking to him, which means—you should really learn to take compliments normally.

simeon is a nice guy, and he likes you a lot, so it only makes sense that he compliments you whenever he can. in other words, he dishes out anywhere from one to four compliments whenever the two of you are together. he can’t help it, he just thinks you’re neat!

the fact remains that you chose to be a menace to the angelic persona he is supposed to project at all times.

it was a simple compliment. he enjoyed spending time with you, and he told you so, just telling you that your presence was a pleasant one.

your response was actually normal—it was a simple, “i like being around you too!”

in a way, this is simeon’s fault, if you think about it. he could’ve just said, “thank you,” and kept it pushing, but instead, he said, “really?”

why would he think you didn’t like being around him? that was unacceptable, so, really, what choice did you have but to give him the most solid affirmation he would ever hear?

“of course! every day, i’m like, ‘wow, simeon is so cool, we should make out,’ you know?”

what you were expecting was for him to blush and laugh it off, call you silly, and maybe pat your head for good measure. that was a reasonable thing to expect, albeit that is not even close to what you got.

since you were being so casual, simeon figured that he could—that he should—do the same. it was only natural that he stop being a model angel for a little while, right?

oh, don’t look so flustered, it’s not like you’ve never been backed against a wall before. how many times has a demon done this to you? it’s only fair that an angel gets a turn.

“actually,” he started, lips already brushing against yours as he spoke. “i don’t know. would you mind showing me?”

if you are, understandably, too flustered to function, he will gladly make the first move, don’t worry, but if his first move happens to be taking your bottom lip between his teeth instead of kissing you, well… there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it, so you may as well just enjoy.

i mean, you tempt an angel, and you get what’s coming to you—that’s all there is to it.

similar to barbatos, you will only be safe from this man when he’s in public or around a few of the others. if you’re alone with him and in private, he’s already under the impression that he doesn’t have to be an angel with you, so find joy in the side of him you’ve uncovered.

solomon (derogatory)

you two deserve each other, really. both of you are public enemies. he was just as terrible as your friends from back home, except he was always walking the line like a tightrope. he was always on the verge of making his teasing into a reality, and to be quite frank, you were starting to get fed up—and you were right to be. but this is what you get for being a dirty solomon enjoyer.

all of his empty threats and demands about kissing you, his lingering touches on your lower back or waist or thighs, his dumb little smirks on his dumb little face, his occasional bites wherever you were vulnerable, his habit of putting his hand around your throat for fun (or so he says)—those all came with the territory. he hasn’t had a friend to tease in ages (he can’t do it to asmo without it immediately turning into an hour long event), so you get it all at once, congratulations!

don’t look so upset, he’s an attractive guy, so this is still a win.

now, all of that said, you were hard pressed to find an opportunity to catch this man off guard, but once you got your chance, you latched onto it exactly as you should’ve.

the two of you were in his room, studying (“studying”) for an upcoming exam. he was sitting in a chair, and you were on his bed a few feet away. you needed something from your bag, which was on the side of his chair farthest from you, so you decided to walk by him to get it, like a normal person. look at you, acting regular for once.

evidently, that was a mistake. as soon as you were in front of him, his hand was on your waist, and you were pulled into his lap.

you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and everything, and he seemed to have an explanation ready to go, paired with one of his signature smiles.

“i was wondering when i’d get to bother you again.”

this was your chance—probably the only chance you’d get in a while, so it made sense that you took this opportunity to be heinous, even though you were in a rather compromising position.

“either sleep with me or leave me alone.”

you did it. for a moment, you had him. the surprise plastered on his face was enough gratification to last you a lifetime, however fleeting it may have been. unfortunately for you, he had a wonderful recovery time.

before you could fully enjoy the look on his face, it was gone, replaced by a more sinister expression that almost made you regret your decision.

for what it’s worth, you didn’t have to see that menacing look of his for long because he turned you away from him to press your back into his chest. if that makes you feel any better.

“i’ll never leave you alone,” he hummed, teeth already grazing your neck. his hand moved from your waist to your inner thigh, slowly separating one leg from the other. “but you already knew that.”

you didn’t have a saving grace with this man before, and now you never will.

#COME GET YALL JUICE!#i acc considered doing an sfw platonic ver with luke as a bonus but then i got tired #also didn't want anyone to see his name and freak #anyway #it's acc not funny how shy i got writing this BYE #how do people write smut omg #literal gods good lord #obey me #obey me!#obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me dia #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me undateables

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delphoxqueen · 3 years ago

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TL;DR: Clawd Wolf’s Journal (2010)

Sorry I haven’t posted in past few days, I’ve been packing so I can move- and I’ve been ordering more Monster High Diaries to recap on here!

Clawd’s Journal can summarized as-

September the 18th- Clawd gets tackled by a goblin who stinks like shit he explains a lot of football related stuff but I have negative knowledge about sports so I don’t wanna say something happened when it didn’t- but his team won and he was like ��Lol get rekt” to the goblin. He complains about stinking like the goblin for the rest of the journal.

September the 21st- Rockseena (Clawd’s gargoyle bulldog) chewed up Clawdeen’s shoes and he pays her back. Though this just raises the Goofy-Pluto issue with there being gargoyles like Rochelle, then pet gargoyles like her pet and Rockseena.

October the 1st- Clawd sheds a shit ton so he goes to a specialized doctor for fur (which love the world-building btw) and he’s like “Nothing I can do, at least you’re not bald!” And just recommends a group therapy full of werewolves suffering from fur loss.

October the 7th- Spectra starts stirring up old shit by telling everyone in school about Cleo and Clawd’s past relationship. Clawd calls her out on her bullshit and then she starts crying and bitching to everyone in school, trying to get everyone on her side. They go to the Headmistress and just like every principal ever is just like “Hey person who started this- stop. Also the person who didn’t start it and is the victim is now guilty for some bullshit reason.” Spectra seems like the type to start shit for no reason and bitch to everyone about problems she started tbh. Who starts gossiping and then calls the victim a “dumb jock” for telling you to stfu?

October the 12th- Headmistress Bloodgood makes the whole school do this project on their family lineage so they can put them all in a book and pass it out to students. The Wolf’s lineage apparently is all in this book called the Valde Lupus Libri but there are parts Clawd isn’t allowed to read until he has his own pack. The secret to the feud between vampires and werewolves in this universe is also in there.

October the 18th- Clawdeen starts going after Cleo because she thinks she broke Clawd’s heart when they broke up which leads to the most serious moment in all of the diaries to this point- Clawd explains what happened between him and Cleo. Basically they were just dating because they liked the attention that came from the head fearleader and the MVM (Most Valuable Monster) on the football were dating. They never really had a spark but were (and still are) friends. They stayed together to avoid the drama and were too busy to deal with the stress. Eventually they both decided to break it off when Deuce and Cleo started getting more chemistry. Cleo tells everyone that she broke up with Clawd so she wouldn’t be the head fearleader that got rejected. They both regret the relationship and their choices around it, and if you want a slightly more serious and mature moment in the MH franchise I would definitely suggest reading the full thing.

October the 25th- Clawd is out for a drive after coming from the library and picks up Draculaura from the rain. (Much more romantic and cute than I put it here)

I really like how much the writing has progressed over these diaries. When I first read Cleo’s and Deuce’s diaries I thought they would be too bland and everything would feel like it wasn’t written by an actual person. Though now I think they’ve found some footing and know at least how to make the diaries engaging and realistic. Not saying we need complete drama and seriousness from Monster High but a sprinkling every entry or so really feels like a treat for those who want to learn more about the lore and characters :)

If I had to pick a favorite diary to read so far, Clawd is definitely at the top of my list! Stay tuned for my read-through of Holt Hyde’s Journal! ;)

Also here’s an extra image I couldn’t include in the read-through, Clawd’s love for little Rockseena is adorable

#clawd wolf #monster high clawd #monster high #monster high dolls #monsterhigh #clawd x draculaura

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shadow--writer · 3 years ago

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If I Catch Fire Then I Change my Aim

HA I DID IT (hm de dum . song lyric titles will die with me and holy fuck I should make a master list of this bsery). Finals kicked my ass and I, of course, bit back but I am back on the writing bullshit of everyone’s nightmares.

Maeve x Lucas. Amani slaps some sense into one of the two dumbasses. 3.9k (how am I still surprised by this? I have learned time and time again I cannot stfu)

TW: mention of past abuse

@dela-png

The day was warm. She had her door open as she finished organizing her herbs. It did absolutely nothing to help the deep pit in her stomach.

Her bangs kept falling into her face, she had tucked the handkerchief away again. Every time she looked at it she saw the raw hurt on his face.

And that was a distraction.

In her line of work she couldn’t afford distractions.

Even so she was distracted. By the pit in her stomach even though it had been...weeks. Again. He misunderstood what she said and didn’t come back.

She rubbed her temples with a low groan.

They were both idiots.

Morons. If there was another word for it, that could be applied.

She did regret cutting him off, but judging by his reaction to her little nickname, it was for the better. She was fine without him. Yeah. She was fine without…the nice feelings he brought. The flowers. The food.

Mmhmm yeah she could go on just fine. He was just one person in a large world of many.

Ugh but someone tell her heart that.

She groaned, laying out on the counter, the worn surface cool against her cheek. Pining was the worst. Especially when it was unrequited pining. Well sure it wasn’t unrequited before but now it for sure was.

Even if he did prop her tables up again and bring her lunch one last time.

After taking her words in the totally wrong way.

She huffed.

Why did this have to be so complicated? It wasn’t fair.

She really had to go and fall for the guy who was like a dense hyperactive puppy (a very cute one but this wasn’t the time). Oh and then she had to let her trauma string her along like a little puppet.

Ugh he was right. Of course he was. Three years and she still wasn’t over anything.

She stretched out her arms, now resting her chin on the counter. She really should be over him. Over the words he used against her still ingrained in her very being. Gods she was just an idiot.

He was right about one thing. She did muck up every relationship she’d ever had.

She hated admitting he was right. But of course he was right, he was always right. He always had to be right. He got angry when he was wrong.

She pushed herself to stand, pressing the heel of her palm to her eye. Always right.

She chuckled without humour. Yeah right.

She moved away from the counter, staring at the chipped blue paint she couldn’t scrub away. The pain was still a little raw. She knew it was an accident and he just took her words the wrong way. But it still hurt to see him look at her that way. Such unabashed hurt and anger.

Almost worse then when she rejected his kiss.

She turned away from the pain, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She was never going to get over Lucas if she kept thinking about him and dragging the pain out. She just needed to bury her feelings. Bury the hurt.

This was all fine.

Maybe once things calmed she’d go home. Lucas didn’t want to see her again anyways.

She would just be a hazy memory in a few months time anyways. His first heartbreak.

She bit her lip. Ouch that hurt to think about. She knew she was someone's bad memory. But she didn’t want to be his.

Maybe if she were different it would be okay.

Who was she kidding? She couldn’t turn back time anymore than she could fly.

It was her biggest self indulgent dream. To be able to fly. Sometimes when she was standing alone with the breeze, she felt like she could take off and never land.

Great. She was starting to sound like her Mhamó. Always had her head in the clouds.

The door slammed open, yanking her from her musings.

In the doorway was a fully healed, and very angry looking Amani.

Oh great it was ‘piss-everyone-off-o’clock’.

She shifted a bored look at the angry lady in her doorway. “Oh and how may I help you this fine afternoon?” Her voice was dry and filled with sarcasm. Was it so much to hope that she’d be left alone just once in her life?

She was still recovering from her clinic being raided.

“I can’t believe you’d not only have the audacity to dump him like that but insult him in another language.”

Ah. So this was how today was going to pan out.

Lovely.

She crossed her arms. “Audacity? What I do and chose to do are none of your business nor your concern. I did it to protect him.”

“From what?!”

“Me.”

“Oh boo hoo.” She chucked a nearby pot at Maeve. She dodged, the glass shattering. Great more for her to clean up. “Protect him from yourself?! What a load of bullshit!”

“You are a spitfire,” Maeve replied, dodging the box of masks that were thrown at her next. “But I’d appreciate it if you stopped throwing my things. Most of them are new.”

Amani snarled. “I hear you’re a spitfire as well. I wonder what I’d have to do to get you to insult me in another language.”

Her gaze at Amani turned icy. “It takes quite a bit to push me over that edge.”

“Liar. You did it to Lucas.”

“I did no such thing. He took a detour off a cliff to get to that conclusion. You do know languages are used for things other than insults right?” She dodged a stool. Amani was getting increasingly more pissed off.

Just-fucking-wonderful. This is what she gets for helping Will at the dock. This is what she gets for being nice. For catching feelings. And then trying to break things off knowing she was going to muck things up.

Hateful stars above.

“That’s-” Amani let out another frustrated growl. “True I guess.”

“...you two really like jumping off cliffs to conclusions. Astounding.”

Amani’s eyes were narrowed into slits. The gold paint on her lips shone in the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. Maeve could admit she was almost pretty.

You know, if she wasn’t currently trying to kill her with her own stool.

“I thought you liked him.”

“I did.”

“Past tense?”

Maeve kept her gaze, hands trembling at her sides. She hated Amani’s tone. “And what of it?”

Amani searched for something on her face, a smug grin creeping across her face. “Ooh you like him. You still fucking like him.” The expression darkened again. “So how could you?!”

“My reasoning is my own.”

“I am his best fucking friend, you think he doesn’t tell me this stuff?!”

“He can tell you his side of things. But that is only half of the picture,” she said, keeping her tone level and cold. She could feel her anger bubbling in her gut. Amani was right to be mad. She and Lucas were both right to be mad. “What happened on my side of things with me is with me only.”

“Don’t you have friends to talk to?”

“No. Not here I don’t. I didn’t see the need for them.”

Not after what happened the first time.

Amani froze. “That...is a terrible way to live.”

“Oh great a lecture. And I thought you were pissed at me. Come on now, lay it on me. Let’s see what you can do.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong I’m fucking pissed. But holy fuck do I feel bad for you. Cutting off people who want to be your friends?”

“You included in that?”

She shrugged. “Uh yeah. We were on the same wavelength. I liked you. Well, when you weren’t being a bitch.” Alright, she did deserve that one. “And then you fucking went and ruined everything with him.”

“If ruining it is how he stays away from me, fine.”

“What’s got you so fucking scared?!”

She flinched, nails making little crescents in her palms. She was easy to read when you looked for the signs. She was scared. She was terrified.

“He does,” she whispered, letting go of everything. If Amani wanted to know, fine.

She didn’t...she didn’t want to hold onto it by herself anymore.

And fuck she knew her sisters would beat her over the head with the dumbassery she pulled to spare her own feelings.

“Why?! Did he do something to you?”

Her head snapped up. The words made her remember the faces at the market. “What? He’s never done anything to me. He’s only been...a sweetheart.”

Amani’s shoulders drooped a bit. “So then why did you leave? Why are you so scared of him? He’s not...that way anymore.”

She pursed her lips. That way anymore? The fuck was going on?

“If you want to know, fine. Fine! Throw my own shit at me, berate me and then have the audacity to ask questions now but fine. I did like him. But I don’t want him getting close to me.”

“Why not?!”

She fought back angry tears. Ugh she hated being pushed to this point. Hated it! “Because I am a fucking selfish person.”

“This is being selfish? This is the OPPOSITE of selfish!”

“Maybe me wanting him to be around was selfish and too much for me to ask for!”

“For what?!”

“Myself! I don’t deserve anything he’s given me. I don’t deserve his affections. I don’t deserve anything like this!”

“And why the fuck not? Why do you think you don’t deserve any of this? Because I can tell you for a fact that’s not just you speaking there.”

She froze. “I- It’s just-”

“You fucking like him! Still! Don’t past tense me,” Amani said with a low exasperated sigh. “And holy fuck you two need to learn to talk to one another.”

“Like...his palm said,” she whispered to herself.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

“Even if you still like him...why did you just...leave him like that? Say those things? Push him away? ‘For his own good’, bull-fucking-shit.”

It was her turn to growl. “I said this! But I’ll say it again to get it through your thick skull. I’m pushing him away because I’m fucking selfish okay?!” Her voice was starting to crack. She was starting to crack. Under the scrutiny.

Under the fact someone was willing to listen to her.

“I’m not some perfect thing. I don’t know what he’s told you or what he’s made up about me but that’s not me.”

Amani’s eyes widened. “Hold on...Maeve?”

She threw her hands in the air, blinking back tears. Cracking and shattering. She hit her breaking point.

Weeks now. Since she first told him to leave.

Another few after he took her words in the wrong way.

She...fucking gods, she missed him.

“I’m just...I’m selfish, okay?! I don’t want him falling in love with an idea he’s made up. I don’t want him falling for me and then realizing he doesn’t really like me. I don’t want him falling in love with me, period.”

She shocked the other woman into a jaw slack expression.

She scrubbed her eyes, she didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to cry. But now that she was, the tears just wouldn’t stop.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of love. I’m tired of romanticizing everything. I’m tired of loving, giving and then being broken. I’m tired of people loving me and then deciding that they need to change me. Because they don’t really like me.” Tears were freely streaming down her face now. “I’m not perfect.” Her voice cracked over the words.

They were true.

The rung true.

She was a broken mess. Fuck, she hated love for the longest time. It only got worse.

A festering wound.

“I’m tired of being changed like I’m not a fucking person. People will always find something wrong with me. People don’t like how...weird I look to them. And it’s not even weird!” She was yelling, her voice breaking. “So what if I glow? So what if my hair has some weird silver metallic looking streak in it. My tattoos aren’t even that odd. So then why?”

She sniffed. “Why is it that I’m always the issue? My personality is too much. I talk too loud. I’m too crass. I argue too much. I’m not quiet enough. I am not good enough for anyone.”

There was a pause.

She was really letting this all spill out of her. The dam had been broken.

“Holy shit, what the fuck happened to you?”

“Eloquently said,” she replied with an eye roll, staring up at the ceiling. She willed the tears to stop. “Love fucking happened. And I hate it. I hate having to...second guess everything so he likes me.”

She wasn’t talking about Lucas. She wasn’t...really talking about Lucas. She never had to second guess herself around him.

And that was refreshing. It was so refreshing that it scared her.

“Because I...” She let out a low whine, an embarrassed heat rising to her cheeks. “Because I like him. And I don’t...I don’t want to like him like…” she waved her hands around. “This.”

“But you do.”

She lowered her gaze to meet Amani’s again. “What if he doesn’t?”

The look Amani shot her was both exasperated and withering. “...he tried to fucking kiss you. He gave you his copy of Thumbelina.” She flinched at the mention. That wound was still fairly fresh as well.

She had...read it so many times. She didn’t know why she read it so many times. It was nothing special. Fluff with a happy ending. But...maybe it was the thought of being a little closer to him through the words on the paper that brought her pause.

Amani continued on her tangent, ignoring Maeve’s reaction. “He brings you things to eat. Holy shit he talks about you all the fucking time. He gifts you flowers. What more evidence do you need!?”

“Gifts are not evidence.”

“Flowers, Maeve. He brings you flowers. Why can’t...why are you still doubting it? Why not like him openly? Why?”

She finally let the truth out. The doors opened and her chest was cut open again. Heart on display again. She hated being this vulnerable. Hated it.

But it was...nice having someone to talk to. Even if she tried to kill her with her own stool.

“Amani, I am not perfect. He might make me out to be. He might see me as such. I don’t know. But I am awful, Amani. I’m an awful awful girl.” Amani’s brows furrowed at her word choice. Every time she said it she thought of sugary sweet words. A beautiful lie.

A hand around her throat.

“I’m a terrible person.” She sniffed, holding her arms. She was spiraling. Always spiraling. “I’m selfish. I push people away when they need me. I’m mean. I’m flighty. I’m stubborn…too stubborn. My temper gets the better of me. I’m an awful person.”

“Having a temper doesn’t make you a bad person,” Amani said, her voice now softer. It was different from how angry her tone was. “None of those things make you a bad person.”

Eyes glittering with unshed tears, her head snapped up with her tone. “Then what am I?!”

“Human.”

Maeve froze at the rawness of Amani’s voice. “You’re human just like the lot of us. You’re no angel, believe me. Neither is he. Neither am I. We all have done things we regret. That’s what makes us fucking human. You put him on this pedestal like he’s innocent in all this. He’s not. I know better than anyone.”

She swiped at her eyes, sniffling loudly. Amani slowly shuffled closer. “But how we love makes us human. It doesn’t even have to be romantic but, you don’t just like him. You love him, don’t you?”

“I...I don’t know,” Maeve admitted. Her tone was deathly soft, soft enough that she could only feel the way her mouth moved around the words. It was the first time she’d said it out loud. “I don’t know and that’s what scares me. What if I do? What do I do then?”

“You tell him.”

She felt her whole body flinch, tear streaked cheeks tacky. “What?”

“You heard me. Tell him. If you love him don’t keep it to yourself. Dumbass is dense as a brick but I’m sure he loves you too. It’s not...this doesn’t feel like a ‘like you’ situation. I dunno it’s just…I see it in his eyes. The way he looks at you, how he talks about you. Lord you should hear the way he talks about you. I haven’t seen anything like it.”

“He doesn’t really love me,” she said bitterly. Always in denial.

Amani smiled, it looked a little tense with her frustration. Her eye twitched. “Yes, he does. I know my best friend. He’s head over heels and you hurt him.”

“Because that’s who I am. I hurt people.” She clutched her stomach. “I hurt him because I’m selfish.”

“Why?”

She wanted to stop running.

From everything.

And just let the floor swallow her whole.

“I don’t want him getting close to me,” she whispered to the floor. “I don’t want him to see the mess that I am. I don’t want him to see all my broken pieces. I...I don’t want him to leave.”

Years. It had taken her years to open herself up again. So then, why him? Was there even a reason?

Amani moved to gently reach out to clean her tears away. “He’s broken too, you know. He’s been broken down and pieced back together many times. Sometimes pieces get left behind. Sometimes they go missing. But I have never seen him light up the way he does when he talks about you.”

“I don’t deserve him.”

“Gods Maeve, it's not about deserving him. The world doesn’t deserve him. Fucking hell if we’re talking about it, I don’t deserve him. But it isn’t about that. It’s about want.” Amani huffed softly. “So tell me, do you want him?”

The word was choked around her lips, threatening to drown her. It sounded cheesy to her own ears but it just...felt true. “Desperately.”

Amani smiled, it was softer now, tilting her head up with a hand. “Then go for him. Show him how you feel. Sounds sappy as all hells but love him without holding back. If you really think you’re the only one who has reservations about this, then you’re wrong. He was a mess when you first told him to leave.”

“A...mess?”

“An angry sad mess to be sure. Oh and don’t forget how embarrassed he was. And then the self depreciation. He’s gonna give me grey hair.”

Maeve snorted. “You and me both.”

“Well you already have some.”

“It’s silver thank you.”

“Silver shmilver. Back to my original point before you distracted me.” Amani booped her nose. She wrinkled it at the touch. “Show him what good can be in the world if you look for it.”

“I’m...not good.”

Amani let out another huff, grasping Maeve by the shoulders and staring dead into her eyes. Normally she was fine with intense eye contact.

This was a little too intense.

“Yes, you are.”

Maeve’s hands shook. Those evil vile hands. The hands that failed to save so many people.

The ones that burned.

“How good can I possibly be?” she spat out. “How much good can someone see in me? I’m just me.”

Amani sighed. “First of all, you’re going to give me a headache. Second of all, I have never seen him so...different. Almost...happier? Whenever you’re mentioned he lights and perks up and I’m embarrassed for him.” Maeve felt her ears redden. Amani looked at her, unimpressed. “I see the feeling is mutual. Goddess you two are going to make me sick. But, I think that’s good.”

“Is...is it?”

“Yes dumbass. Did you not hear my spiel? I am not going through it again. If Lucas ever found out I’d be this sappy singing his praises to the girl he has affections for he’d never let me live it down.”

Maeve chuckled, rubbing at her eyes.

“Oh I mean that. Don’t you dare laugh, he remembers the weirdest shit. And if you think you can get away with all your problems and then having them rise to the point of cutting him off, think again. He will lord it over your head. ‘Remember the time you tried to cut me off?’ and shit. That is, after you two fucking apologize to one another. Lord one bad thing and he jumps to a conclusion and you close yourself off.”

“...you jumped to the same conclusion.”

“That’s the past! It’s behind me now.”

“...it was literally twenty minutes ago.”

“I’m a different person now.” Maeve sighed, making Amani crack a grin. “Glad you’re not crying anymore.”

She bristled. “Me crying a bad thing?”

“No but now I’ve seen both you and Lucas really cry for the first time and let me tell you, that was an experience.”

“I...made him cry?” Awful. Vile. Evil.

“Uh yeah. He kinda broke down. Not a pretty sight. Didn’t get up for a while. Then the miscommunication about the whole ‘nickname insult’ thing was just salt to the wound.”

“Why was he crying over me?”

“Well he’s in love for one thing.”

“...is he though?”

“I am three seconds away from smacking you. But yes, congratulations you were the first person he cried over. A feat in itself but why’d you think I was so pissed?”

“Maybe...I am terrible.”

Amani’s glare was once again, disapproving. “But, holy fucking god, I see it’s had a similar effect on you. Shit, you two are just so fucking dumb it’s unbelievable. You don’t get love like this every day and you just push it away. Why?”

“It’s…” Her eyes darted around to rest anywhere but on Amani. “...not love.”

“Mmm sure, that’s not what I see but you do you I guess.”

“Even...if it was love...why? Why him? And why...me? Why now?”

“You think I know? Sometimes it just happens. It’s not some dumb fuckin ‘fate’ thing. It just happens. I’d say it’s part of being human. It’s part of our connections. Sometimes you love romantically, other times not.”

“How do we know it’s...not something...else?”

“You really like making this harder for me. God damn. Because of the way he looks at you. The change in him. Bitch the way you look at him. Holy fuck. The way he looks and talks about me is different from the way he looks and talks about you. And that’s fine. I’m his best friend, and you’re...you’re…”

“...me?”

“Something new. Something exciting. Something terrifying. He’s lived here his whole life, you and I are something new to this place. But...even then, you’re different, the feelings he has for you are different. He asked me how to go about kissing you. Bitch what other fucking evidence do you fucking need?”

“He asked...how to kiss me?”

“Yes! He was scared to. Then of course you rejected it, which, nice fucking going.” She winced. Okay she deserved that one as well. “But what more do you need? I’ll ask again, what more fucking evidence do you need me to provide? At the very least he likes you a lot.”

She chewed on her lower lip, reopening the small cut she had worried into it days prior. “And...if he does...what do I do then?”

Amani looked ready to strangle her. “Uh duh. You go for it. All love is is a leap of faith. Why not jump?”

“And if I fall?”

Amani sighed, but the grin creeping onto her face was crooked and her eyes filled with a strong light. “Well, he’ll be there to catch you.”

#the arcana #the arcana game #my writing #maeve #lucas #maevas #maeve x lucas #angst with a happy ending #this is fine

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dreamiehrs · 4 years ago

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nct dream and what games they would play on Roblox

I think I’m pretty certified to say this bc I have been playing Roblox with my lovely friend every morning for almost a week or 2 straight so... yeah. also, someone has probably done this before and I just wanted to say that this is my own original ideas and thoughts about what games they would play in Roblox :) anyways, let’s get into it losers.

[also, big thanks to my amazing wonderful good friend ren aka @dreamzenct for making this adorable header for me!! love u lots also u guys need to check out her blog she is... amazing at writing <3 mwah :D]

mark lee ↬ story game and/or silent assassin

yes, I can see mark playing some dumb ass story game like cruise, vacation, break in, etc.

him and jaem would just spend hours mocking how silly the story games can be sometimes, and even though they criticize the games sometimes, they can’t help but to feel drawn to how silly they were LMAO

would get upset when he would die from something ridiculous in the game... also calling it now that mark is also terrible at parkour. idk I just... feel like he would mess up the momentum of jumping onto stuff or would cut the jump short.

jaemin would literally just laugh at how bad mark is. “mark... I hate to say it, but you utterly SUCK at video games. you’re even worse when you play fps games.”

“yah jaemin... u don’t want me to buy you dinner tonight?”

yeah that gets jaemin to shut up right away LMAOO.

going onto why he would play silent assassin... yeah hyuck would force him to play this wbk this would happen eventually.

would be a not so great assassin at first, but I feel like after a few hours of playing, he would get the hang of it. however, whenever he would be the target he would be killed RIGHT AWAY by whoever the assassin is... in conclusion: mark has no idea what he’s doing most of the time while playing that game SAHDJSADJASHJ

hyuck would troll him so hard about it, too, saying stuff like: “omg learn the controls next time!!” “man, you absolutely suck at getting the briefcases like??? THEY’RE MARKED FOR U DUMBO! HAHA, GET IT? UR NAME IS MARK AND I JUST SAID MARKED- okay I’ll stop now.”

yeah mark would def just end up banning hyuck after he trolls him 500 times and goes back to playing cute but silly story games with jaem.

huang renjun ↬ murder mystery

yes I am still on my renjun detective agenda bullshit!!!!

but honestly I can see renjun rocking everyone’s shit when he’s the guard and absolutely OBLITERATES the murderer.

would probably get angry when he yells at everyone else that the murder is in a room somewhere and no one ends up listening to him.

“GUYS HE’S IN THE GUARD OFFICE!!!” also yes he types in all caps at all times this is renjun we’re talking about here.

then he would end up getting killed by the murderer and would spectate everyone and just yells in chat about how stupid everyone was being.

“GUYS I SAID HE’S IN THE GUARD OFFICE!!! TF ARE U GUYS STUPID???”

also he would be a part of the troll trio containing him, hyuck, and lele. these 3 would be UNSTOPPABLE trolls on roblox and just any games they played on roblox in general.

he would get frustrated when hyuck would just run around him in murder mystery and end up distracting him as he tries to figure out where the murderer is. chenle would just shoot blindly and would end up running off somewhere alone to get killed by the murderer himself.

and yes, he would get on the other players for being terrible murderers and not having any technique for killing ppl on the game. “you guys suck!! do you guys even have a certain technique/strategy on how to kill ppl without getting caught on this game?!”

chenle and hyuck would just laugh their asses off on how serious renjun was about this game like... chill man it’s not that deep LMAO.

I can even see the younger members just pissing him off and teasing him so that eventually renjun just rage quits AHJDDHJAS. chenle would end up just screaming in renjun’s ear and renjun would slam his fist down on the desk in front of him and would just LEAP at chenle irl.

the other members wouldn’t be concerned when they hear a crash come from renjun’s room. they were used to hearing stuff like that from renjun’s room as he’ll occasionally want to just wrestle someone (mainly hyuck or chenle).

but yes, wbk that renjun would EXCEL at murder mystery and just mystery games in general in roblox.

lee jeno ↬ adventure games and/or flee the facility

I feel like jeno would love adventure games so much like??? idk he just seems to be into that type of stuff.

I don’t see him as a rage quitter tbh? like I feel like he’d be so chill with everything going on that he wouldn’t get as angry as renjun does while gaming LMAO

he would just listen to some chill lofi music and just finish quests left and right in his own little world. I can see hyuck just being a little meanie head and creeping up on jeno without him knowing, and yes, jeno would almost spill all of his water onto his laptop when donghyuck does so.

however.... I can TOTALLY see him playing flee the facility with the rest of the dreamies. I feel like he’d especially play it with jaemin bc the 2 of them would be RELENTLESS when they become the beast omg LMAOO

jeno would be all giggly just having a good time and then BOOM jaemin destroys him with his hammer and just drags jeno to one of his freezing capsules LMAOO

jaemin would just be like “jeno~? where are you~?” all creepy like and jeno would just be in a room somewhere using his AMAZING hacking skills to escape (yeah no he messes up at hacking a lot... SAHJDSADJ)

meanwhile, jeno as the beast would act all scary but it wouldn’t intimidate jaemin at all LMAO jaem would be like “HAHA COME AND GET ME LOSER!! OH WAIT, U CANT BC U CAN’T CRAWL UNDER STUFF HAHAAHA- oh shit wait he got me HELP!!”

even though jaem tries to act all tough, he ends up getting killed by the beast, aka jeno, every time jeno is the beast. yes, jeno is just too good at being the beast for his own good.

jaemin would do good, too, but I can see him being better at hacking than jeno. omg just imagine jaemin hacking something and he’s almost done and then SUDDENLY he’s boped on the head by jeno’s hammer and it scares him so badly.

however, I feel like jeno would rope jaemin into playing more adventure games with him and jaemin would def just complain the whole time about how long it takes to walk to get the items for quests. wbk jaem is a huge complainer, I mean, have you heard how much he complains about jisung not wanting to accept his love? LMAO

jeno would just be vibing, though, not even paying attention to jaemin’s complaining and just working on his quests in his time. we love a chill king.

lee donghyuck ↬ silent assassin

again... do I even have to explain my reasoning behind this?

hyuck literally plays Overwatch 24/7 until it’s almost 2 or 3 am at night... so why wouldn’t he do the same but with silent assassin on roblox instead??

I can see him just getting upset when he only gets 4th place in the free for all game mode. he’d be like “dammit not again!! ugh this guy just stole all my kills what the heck!?!”

obviously he would get better at the game bc he would play the shit out of it. he would probably play it 24/7 like he does with Overwatch and would hit level 40 in a few days.

I can see it now, his desk littered with empty redbull bottles as he tells himself he’ll only play one more round of silent assasin... yeah no that was a lie he ends up playing until he’s ready to pass out in his bed.

and ofc johnny would be like “bro wtf why are u so addicted to this game?? get some rest man.”

“no.... I need to... upgrade my weapons more.... I need... MONEY!”

I can also see him forcing mark to play this game with him but lemme tell you something... mark would absolutely suck at this game. I mean, ofc he would get better as time passed but he wouldn’t be as good as hyuck.

when he first was assigned assassin I can just hear him being like “omg how do I move?!?! WHAT SOMEONE JUST KILLED ME!!’

hyuck would just sigh and type in the chat “you suck man learn the controls next time 🙄”

“stfu troll u can’t say anything until u learn the controls for pubg” mark would say back and would accidentally get banned or something for his swearing SAHDASHDJA.

I feel like hyuck would get banned too bc I can DEF see him as a troll alongside chenle. would probably scream dramatically when someone would kill him on the game too and would be an AMAZING assassin.

he would def ambush mark any second he got to as he was the assassin and would probably get the most kills in every game mode. mark would end up rage quitting and then hyuck would say something about mark being such a pansy. (and yes, that’s how hyuck gets banned LMAO mark bans his trolling ass)

na jaemin ↬ where’s the baby and/or daycare

okay so I can def see jaemin forcing jisung to play where’s the baby with him just bc he considers jisung his child... yes jaem loves jisung so much that he’s convinced that he birthed him HJSADHADJ

jisung would always want to be the adult bc he REFUSES to be the baby (mainly bc jaem wants him to be the baby on the game every time)

jaemin would be like “omg lemme take care of u jisung!! omg NO DON’T CHOP OFF MY ARM WTF SUNGIE!?”

jisung would be ruthless while playing with jaemin... he would just want to kill jaemin all the time and jaemin would be frowning about it the entire time.

“you know what, sungie? I’ll let you kill me on this game bc of how much I love you 😚“

“ew no nvm I’m leaving 🤮”

however, I feel like jaemin would be good at the hide and seek mode for where’s the baby. he’d find jisung within SECONDS. I can just imagine jisung hiding in the bush or something and jaemin would just immediately KNOW that jisung would be in the bush like... idk maybe it’s his seventh sense (😏)

also, his sixth sense is that he knows when jisung is hungry, sad, angry, annoyed, all of the above man. yes, he can just sense those things and honestly none of the other members in nct dream understand HOW he can do that. (renjun is convinced that jaem is from a completely different planet and is only here to baby jisung... I mean, he’s not wrong though??? LMAO)

for the reason why he plays daycare... yeah maybe it’s just an excuse to scare jisung with that creepy demon character LMAO. he knows how much of a scaredy cat jisung is, and just loves hearing jisung scream when the demon always spawns near him SHJDASJDH

jaemin knows all the ins and outs of daycare and just abt story games in general... and yes, jisung def eats the poisonous apple and ends up dying right after they escape the daycare SADJASHDJH

I can see jaemin and mark playing story games in their free time, and when one of the younger members join them, they just know it’s gonna be fun when they have no idea what’s going on :D (and when they eat something poisonous)

zhong chenle ↬ tycoon and/or a horror game

so wbk that this nerd would play a tycoon to make even more money than he has right now.

to be specific, he would probably be the richest person on the server and just taunt people with how much money he has.

“oh you guys want this??? a million dollars??? well.... okay I’ll give it to you... SIKE BITCH U THOUGHT!”

he would be the biggest troll ever I’m calling it now.

he would probably end up getting banned for laughing at another user crying about not having enough money on the tycoon game.

“awhhhh you don’t have as much money as me??? haha oh well not my problem 😎😎“ (yes chenle is an avid user of this emoji)

he would have to end up making a new roblox account bc of how he was banned and the guy who he made fun of would end up just chuckling behind his screen about it. (chenle wouldn’t care though LMAO he would still come back and rock that kid’s shit and be the richest person on the server)

I can also see him playing some scary game and roping jisung into it just to scare him shitless.

“OMG JISUNG WATCH OUT THERE’S A DEMON BEHIND U!!! HAHA MADE U LOOK!!!”

cue jisung flinching like a madman to just realize no one was behind him. “lele ur such an ass!!”

however, chenle would also just scream when anything remotely scary happens just to scare jisung even more. jisung would end up rage quiting at this and saying that he’s gonna go to bed instead.

and yes chenle would wake jisung up at 3 am just to scare him with an image from the horror game they played on roblox earlier. you remember how they scared him by setting a cockroach as his home & lock screen on his iPad that one time? yeah just imagine that but with a demon face from a horror game SHDASJDJ.

park jisung ↬ bee swarm simulator

do I even have to explain this???

he would end up getting addicted to the game after chenle had shown it to him one day.

“OMG CHENLE LOOK AT THIS LEGENDARY BEE I JUST GOT OMG OMG!!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE KING BEETLE JUST KILLED ME THIS IS UNFAIRRRRRR!” chenle would just frantically scream into jisung’s ears and jisung swore that one day he would become deaf bc of his best friend.

chenle would show jisung all the tips and tricks on how to be better at the game and next thing u know jisung plays the game almost every day. he also freaks out when his bees get sad bc of the field they’re in and immediately goes back to his hive to feed them and make them feel better.

also jisung’s favorite bee would def be the demon bee.... no I will not elaborate on this.

jisung would treat his bees like his own children, making sure they’re all fed and happy. he would scream whenever he would get a royal jelly and would be obsessed with just hatching random bees all the time.

would def do the most just to upgrade all of his items but he’d do that just so he can fly everywhere and move faster. yes he would want to use his glider everywhere even when he doesn’t need to use it he uses it.

would probably end up getting stuck somewhere on the map and chenle would have to help him LMAOO

he would def complain about how much pollen he would have to collect and then would get distracted by how cute his bees are 5 minutes later. probably ends up playing the game for 4 hours straight without noticing until chenle yells at him to get off so the two of them could eat lunch together. (and dw, ofc he eats well after playing for so long he’s a growing boy <3)

#dreamwritersnet #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream blurb #nct dream drabble #nct dream headcanon #nct dream fluff #nct dream crack #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurb #nct drabble #nct headcanon #nct fluff #nct crack

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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years ago

Text

tiktok famous (hc) - part three | p.p.

summary: you and peter doing various tiktok trends. y'all know the deal

warnings: ultra chaotic writing (i have nine other drafts forgive me i am a tad bit stressed), cussing as always, and HOPEFULLY GOOD WRITING??? oh and yes as always peter being Babey

+ + +

- HI!!!!!! BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE TIKTOK HCS!!!!!!!

- i got a few requests/ideas from y'all for more tiktoks so here we are

- tbh since so many new trends are constantly coming out i might just make this a whole ass SERIES but we'll see

- who knows if i can even handle that

- btw:: if i forgot one or there's one you really want me to write you can comment it and i'll try to add it to this!!! if it's too long since posted though i'll add it to my drafts <3

- OKAY TIME FOR CHAOTIC ENERGY

- as mentioned in past versions of this series

- tiktok dances are ADDICTIVE!!!

- and you literally broke a goddamn sweat learning supalonely but we're NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT

- and you and peter are hanging out one day

- and as all of these ideas happen

- you get ~inspired~ by the for you page

- you set up the camera, flipping it so that it's facing peter and not you

- the lil shit hasn't even noticed that you got up yet what a poop

- but as soon as the music starts playing he raises his head

- you're doing the supalonely dance like a fucking BOSS

- all while pretending to be looking at yourself in the camera

- you don't let yourself stare at the screen so you don't get distracted

- but

- of course

- peter is nodding his beat to the beat, clapping for you, and when you to the body roll thing on "drinking" he lets out a whoop that makes you wheeze

- when you finish you laugh, letting out a sigh and grabbing your phone

"not gonna lie, you ate that."

"i know."

- you sit back down next to him, heart rate in da Clouds, and start watching the video

- petey boi is just sitting there like a puppy, crooked smile on his face as he watches you

- in a few parts he's even doing the dance with you

- and he looks so in awe

- you can't stop watching it and smiling at the screen

- but then the fucker sits down next to you and is like "you should post that it was really good"

- so you show him it

- his face gets all red bc he's babey

"you were videoing me??"

- OKAY NEXT ONE

- so i think we all know the rosa videos

- for the b99 fans: rosa rosa rosaaaaaaaaaaaa

- she's a QUEEN

- and you constantly quote those things like

- every time there's a silent moment you're just like "you're fucking lying let me see" and the whole team (avengers squad) is like ayo stfu

- one day y'all are just hanging in the commons of headquarters

- we're getting the band back together!

- and you start videoing cause you're bored

- you point the camera at peter

"aye dude come here?"

- everybody groans and peter gives the camera a sassy look, tilting his head

"you're gay? i fuckin-"

"language," steve mutters

"-knew it dude!" you smile, zooming in on the camera

- peter gets a confused look on his face

"wait no i'm bi"

- tony effin SHOOTS UP

- sitting like there's a goddamn board in his back

- and he slowly turns his head in your direction

- eyebrow raised

- you bust out laughing and so does everyone else, including peter

- tony's looking around like "hey what the FUCK is HAPPENING"

"stark, you didn't know?"

"NO??"

- lol we stan bi peter parker

- aight BACK TO THE SHITS AND GIGGLES

- so you and peter are obsessed with that quirky tiktok bartender girl who makes all the drinks

- i forgot her name but she's like

we're gonna do 2 ounces so that's 1, 2, 3, 4! we're gonna give it a nice strain! andddd shake shake shake shake! fun, right?

- yk what i mean

- hi it's editing ryn it's her tiktok is like paradise bartender

- and so one day

- jk one NIGHT

- it's like 2 am

- and you and peter are like

- let's make lemonade. but like. Fake Alcohol Version Because We're Underage

- and so y'all run to the kitchen

- you almost crush and die from slipping on your socks

- the two of you and laughing and giggling as you run and around and get all your materials

"where is the fucking STRAINER"

"bitch idk help me find the lemon flavor packets"

- it takes FAR too long but y'all are finally ready

- you start recording and the two of you are already laughing

"hey guys so today-"

"TODAY" he pushes you to the side "we're gonna be making LEMONADE!"

- the two of you keep laughing as you shove each other trying to be the one in charge

- so basically

- peter gets water all over the counter

- some of the ice flies out when you shake it

- the strainer DOESN'T WORK AND ALL THE STUFF GETS EVERYWHERE

- and the small amount that lands in the cup tastes like whispering lemon

- like hella watered down there's like nothing there

- the lemon is SHY

- and then in the last 10 seconds of the video bucky walks in

- and he's like wtf... wait y'all are making lemonade??

- and the three of you end up making lemonade for real and drinking it while watching infomercials

- at two in the morning

- fun, right?

- those videos are so satisfying NEXT TIKTOK

- thank u ritxal for the idea !!

- so our boi PETE HERE

- is hella addicted to those cool pov videos

- and he gets a really good idea even though it would make him a SIMP

- he ends up deciding FUCK IT I'M MAKING ONE

- MY TIKTOK ACCOUNT IS PRIVATE ANYWAYS

- so he sets up his phone and jumps around to get ~~in the zone~~

- feeling stupid as hell

- he films one of those ones where it's the "from the other side" *noise!!!!!!!!* one's yk where the ppl are like "are you sure you want to __?" and it has the yes and no buttons

- you know

- i hope

- and he puts the text on it and shrugs, posting it

- meanwhile you're home and you get the notification that peter posted a tiktok

- obviously you click on it because

- uh

- because

- and you watch it and gasp because the caption says pov and ur like who tf is this man peter never posts povs

- you watch as peter is looking nervously at the camera and text pops up saying "are you sure you want to give up?"

- he presses yes and you're like oh god oh peter wait is this a sign shit FUCK

- a new text bubble pops up saying "do you want to see her?" and you fucking yeLP

- you're like holy FUCK WAIT WHO IS HER???? WIFE???? DAUGHTER?????? HUH!!!!!!!

- and then he presses yes

- and the screen goes black

- you see urself in the screen

- and you basically DIE

- a wheeze so hard that it hurts flies out of your mouth and you IMMEDIATELY PRESS DUET

- you start filming with your phone facing the ceiling and as the beat drops (or whatever when it's like ahhhh!) you pop onto the screen, smiling

- and you're like RANDOM CONFIDENCE BOOST WHATEVER POST

- and then BACK TO PETER'S PLACE

- HE GETS THE NOTIFICATION AND IS LIKE WHAT

- AND WHEN HE SEES YOU POP ONTO THE SCREEN HE'S LIKE HOLY FUCK

- AND SO HE FACETIMES YOU

- YOU ANSWER OBVI

"y/n what the hell"

"did you like it?"

"maybe"

- okay i wanna do another pov one so here we go

- i'm sure everyone here is acquainted with the "they call me tiago.. i don't know who's margo" ones

- these are lowkey difficult to write out so i'm just gonna lay it out for you as best i can

- really trying here

- so peter posts the boy's voice part ("no no no... they call me tiago. i don't know who's margo? i just hit this lotto" etc etc etc)

- and when it's like idk who's margo he just holds a stare with the camera in like an InTiMiDaTiNg way

- even though he's babey and a literal puppy it actually like.. works

- and when you see it you're like yes so you post the other part (that people never do lol "her name is margo" etc all the female voicing)

- and you hold the stare too and EVEN LIKE RAISE YOUR EYEBROW SUGGESTIVELY AND GIVE HIM THE LOOK IYKYK

- so BASICALLY

- i'm really trying here i can visualize these tiktoks perfectly but GOD if i don't struggle a bit while writing them

PETER'S CAPTION: pov: we're rivals on separate missions but you keep screwing with my plans so i try to intimidate you

Y/N'S CAPTION: pov: we're rivals on separate missions but i found you cute so i decide to mess around with your mission

- OH BY THE WAY THE TWO OF YOU LIVE AT AVENGERS HEADQUARTERS AND HE POSTED "YESTERDAY" SO YOU DECIDE TO POST "TODAY" AND WALK OUT OF YOUR ROOM TO WHERE HE WAS IN THE COMMONS RIGHT AFTER YOU POSTED

- can y'all tell how messy my brain is holy shit

- pls forgive me i keep getting random ideas but IT ADDS TO THE CHAOS SO IT'S FINE RIGHT

- OKAY

- BACK AGAIN

- so you post and walk out and as you turn the corner to the commons you can hear the sound play and have to stop a moment to silently scream

- thankfully no one else was in there except for peter (whose back was to you) otherwise you woulda looked INSANE

- you walk up behind him and smile as he laughs slightly and watches it another time, pulling his phone closer to his face to read the caption

"holy shit," he mutters

- he closes his eyes and smiles and tilts his head back, resting it on the back of the couch (🥺)

"you like it?"

- lol

- this kid SHOOTS UP

- HELLO

"oh my god, y/n, what are you doing"

"coming to hang out with you??"

- he sighs as you come and plop down next to him

"what the hell is this"

- he shows you his phone

"a tiktok"

- he smiles and shakes his head (doing that thing where you like look down while doing it and it's so CUTE)

"yeah. i got that."

- NEXT TIKTOK

- alright guess the scenario

- just fucking guess

- i'll wait

- ...

- you'd best BELIEVE that y'all are chilling at headquarters in the commons rn

- where da HELL ELSE

- and

- like LITERALLY EVERY OTHER TIKTOK THAT I WRITE OUT IN THESE

- YOU AND PETE BE CHILLIN

- AND YOU SET UP YOUR PHONE

- god i'm starting to question if i'm capable of writing literally anything else damn

- peter's in the background of course

- and it's this godforsaken audio i'm sure most of you have heard

- you know the one where it's like fast music and then it goes "mm, yeah" and it's usually accompanied with a video of some really pretty girl fake moaning and like rolling her eyes while pushing up her hair??

- well

- all of that

- everything i just said

- is exactly what you do

- and the thing is

- as soon as peter hears the audio he recognizes it

- are we gonna talk about the fact that peter probably spent at least a whole night watching those videos because 1) girls are really pretty and 2) every time he heard it he could vividly imagine you doing it??????? no??? okay

- so he like

- sits up

- does the thing where he rests his forearms on his knees and leans forward, glaring at you through the camera

- and in the background

- if you're paying attention

- peter FLIPS HIS SHIT WHEN YOU DO THE "MM YEAH" PART

- he tHROWS HIS ARMS IN THE AIR LIKE WHAT THE HELL DUDE I THOUGHT I GAVE YOU SIGNS THAT EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT A COUPLE AND WE BOTH KNOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE OUT OF SPITE,, DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON VIDEO IS ABSOLUTELY OFF LIMITS!!!!!!!

"Y/N!"

- it's still recording and you turn around and laugh, throwing your head back as he jumps up and grabs you by the waist, pulling you in

- the two of you start play fighting just like elio and oliver from cmbyn (but a bit less steamy yk?? more innocent yet still w a bit of tension yeye)

- needless to say you keep that video in a very special place of your heart

- and so does peter like once the two of you stop wrestling you realize that the video had just been looping behind the sound of your laughter and fighting y'all watch it and it loops a few times while the two of you are silent and he finally goes "can you uh. can you send that. to me. ???????"

- next oneeeeeeeeeeeeee

- thank u lilmissquackson for the idea <3

- so in this one you and petey are dating

- and y'all decide to do the put a finger down challenge lol

- but instead of using an audio y'all decide to switch off coming up with ones on the spot

"put a finger down if your boyfriend tackles you every time you're standing near a couch or bed"

"put a finger down if your girlfriend still calls you dude"

"put a finger down if your boyfriend once webbed you to the wall because you wouldn't stand still when he was trying to kiss you"

"put a finger down if your girlfriend used her telepathic powers to keep you out of her room when she was mad at you"

"put a finger down if your boyfriend took TWO YEARS TO ASK YOU OUT"

"put a finger down if your girlfriend started laughing after you told her you liked her"

"put a finger down if you only started laughing because it TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH"

"put a finger down if your girlfriend showed no signs of liking you before you decided to ask her out"

"put a finger down if your boyfriend is the most oblivious boy in the world"

"put a finger down if you're in love with your girlfriend but haven't said 'i love you' yet because you're scared she won't say it back"

- your jaw drops and turn to him

- needless to say you were very glad to have caught your first "i love you"s on camera

- SIDE NOTE you did not post cause after you and peter watched the video back y'all were both like "we don't wanna be THOSE bitches"

- next one woop

- thank u MrsLillianAmbrose for the idea !!

- okay buds

- so here's the thing

- i hate to under-perform

- but i feel like the best way to get the full effect of this tiktok is to watch it and then just roll with me here

- SOOOOO (if u can)

1) open tiktok 2) search @_tharealjohnnyyy_ 3) go to his account (or it might just show up when you search) 4) and scroll to the "ways to cuddle" video 5) it was posted in february 2020 if that helps give u a time reference lol

- OKAY

- I HOPE Y'ALL GOT TO WATCH IT

- I TRIED JUST PUTTING IT IN HERE BUT WATTPAD WOULDN'T LET ME AND I COULDN'T FIND IT ON YOUTUBE (let me know if one of u does!!!)

- if u weren't able to watch it (i'm so sorry) i'm gonna do the best i can to at least make this entertaining

- WOOP

- so if you could see the tiktok that's really all this is

- you and peter doing literally the same thing

- y'all are giggling in between positions and peter struggles to set the camera up every time it falls

- he ends up just webbing it to the ceiling

- and in the end the two of you fall asleep in the reverse OG position with your fingers playing with his hair 🥰🥰

- i hope that was good enough im sorry AH

- next!!

- thank u Mendesmycam for the idea <33

- okay so y'all know that sound

SOMETHING ABOUT YA GORLL

REALLY MAKES MY HEADDDD WANNA TWIRLLLLLLLLLL

- or whatever the lyrics are

- those tiktoks are SO FUNNY

- AND YOU DECIDE TO COPY THEM

- so you grab a chair and sit peter down in the middle of the room and set the camera up

- luckily for you he has a bag of cheez-its in hand that you plan to utilize later

- babey has a confused look on his face as he watches you press play and he shoves some more cheez-its in his mouth

- the music starts playing and you just about bust out laughing as you walk all around him, running your hand across his chest

- his heart is racing he's like AYO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON

"y/n what the hell are you-"

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU GIRL

- you practically snap into a weird position

- ur freaking arms are out in front of you and you're on your toes and knees are bent and you're hunched over and it's like

- a very interesting pose

- peter BUSTS OUT LAUGHING

- his eyes are all crinkly as he bends over in the chair

- you just about break but you manage to keep a straight face as you start dancing around weirdly

- needless to say you look like a goddamn CONTORTIONIST

- peter can't stop wheezing

- you make one of your hands in the shape of like the italian man hand this iykyk and fucking SWAN DIVE YOUR FINGERS INTO HIS CHEEZ-IT BAG

- meanwhile peter's STILL DYING

- and you take the cheezits and lean back, sprinkling them all over you (like the popcorn one if you saw that tiktok lmao)

- and the video finally ends and you get to laugh

"y/n what the hell was that"

"i don't know i thought you might enjoy a little entertainment"

- and of course

- that's exactly when no other than SAM WILSON fucking strolls in

- hey how y'all doin'- AHHH (get yo fucking dog bitch! ~it don't bite~ YES IT DO GET YO-)

- sorry got distracted

- and he hears you and his head SPINS ON OVER TO Y'ALL'S DIRECTION

"a little what now?"

- AIGHT GUYS

- LAST ONE

- Y'ALL ARE AT HEADQUARTERS CAUSE WHERE DA HECK ELSE

- this time you're in peter's room though

- and i'd like to imagine this one with the cool led lights because 1) tiktok and 2) i feel like peter would have those in his room

- y'all are just chilling watching hot rod (GREAT MOVIE BTW)

- and

- peter sets up the camera

- not to mention his heart is RACING RN CAUSE HE'S A NERVOUS BEAN

- and he hits record and leans back, letting out a sigh

- you don't even notice his phone literally right there cause you're just enjoying the movie

- a few seconds into the video and petey is like Visibly Freaking Out

- but a funny part plays and you laugh, looking over at him to see if he found it funny too

- he notices you're turning your head so he's like YES I LOOK AT TV HOT ROD MOVIE I AM LOOKING THAT WAY AND WASN'T STARING AT YOU OR THE CAMERA YES THIS IS A FUNNY PART I AM LAUGHING

- and then you look away

- and then he looks at you

- and ever so lightly grabs you by the chin

- and pulls you to him and plants his lips on yours

- finally, dumbass

+ + +

huzzah

i hope u guys enjoyed !!!!!!! ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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idratherstayslytherin · 6 years ago

Text

Re-writing the story I once wrote, but not really

Some of you may remember my fic “The Feelings We Can’t Let Go”.

It began as a head canon, then the lovely person on tumblr wrote the more put together version of it. We decided to write the fic together. It was going well until university and UK fucked me over. During this whole madness my co-writer disappeared from tumblr and I can’t contact her. I have tried it many times. She didn’t reply. I started writing the fic myself determined to finish it, but my life is hell rn and I don’t have the time to write the two last chapters. I do have the outline and hopefully after i start earning money and start actually getting better mentally and studying and money wise, I’ll finish it. For now I went back to the first version of the headcanon I made with my co-writer and noticed A LOT OF GRAMMAR mistakes as well as some things that weren’t making sense. I wanted to re write this kind of first chapter, so I did. I added a lot of new text, fixed all the mistakes that I could see and ta da! There you have it. You have to be happy with just this until I have the time to finish this damn fic. I want it to be enjoyable, but also make sense, maybe even help people with their own problems, I want it to seem real and I want it to be a lovely love story. I’m a romantic shoot me. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think of it <3 I love reading your comments. Also if any artist wants to idk make a fanart of my work now or after I finish this damn fic and have a beta read it , then feel free to do so. Okay, I’m talking way too much, just STFU Ola, no one wants to listen to you rumble :D

//////////////

Harry felt like he should have wanted to go back to Hogwarts. Even worse, he knew he should go back there. But he just couldn’t convince himself, not even with Hermione and Ginny returning. Then again, Ron wasn’t going back either, and he didn’t even feel guilty about it, not even after Hermione talked to him about the importance of learning and getting the best possible results in their NEWTs. He got a bit of yelling too, but Hermione directed most of it at Ron, leaving Harry to deal with an angry and sad Ginny, who wanted him to go back.

But there they were on the first of September at King’s Cross station saying their goodbyes and waving after the Hogwarts Express before apparating back to Grimmauld Place. Ron had no intentions of spending the year at the Burrow, it was too far away from London, and he wanted to help George out at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes in Diagon Alley. He also admitted that he couldn’t really deal with his parents’ grief, and Harry was more than happy to offer him accommodation, not only because Ron was his best mate, but he really needed the company. Grimmauld Place might have looked a lot less gloomy since they renovated it, spending all June and most of July sorting and chucking out old furniture and artefacts, knocking down some of the walls (this being the only way of getting rid of the horrible yelling portrait of Sirius’ mother), and painting the rest in brighter shades, the house was still way too big for one person.

Soon, having turned Hogwarts down, Harry found himself obliged to decide on what he wanted to do with his life or at least the foreseeable future. Of course everyone expected him to become an auror, it seemed like the most obvious choice, but despite admittedly being interested in the job back in their fifth year, he wasn’t sure anymore if he wanted to go along with it. He might have defeated Voldemort, but was that really what he was destined to do all his life? Hunt down dark wizards?

He decided on meeting with Kingsley to discuss further possibilities. After getting detailed information about all of jobs he recommended to Harry, and spending three days straight going through the descriptions, forms and books he got, he was sure he would either want to become an Unspeakable or a Curse-breaker. He would have been happy to dive back into his books and papers to choose one of the two jobs. However Ron was already complaining about the whole house being littered with the papers; how Harry did nothing except sit on the couch, read and compare and read and compare; so Harry decided to give himself some time to consider his choice, meanwhile enjoying his freedom.

Do you seriously want to be an Unspeakable?" Ron asked, his mouth full. This was the only part of the last few days he was enjoying, the takeaway they had every evening. "You can never shut up about what you are doing. Do you really think you could go without telling anyone anything about your job?"

"Probably not." Harry shrugged, picking up another slice of pizza. "Though I guess I’ll have to, and it will be worth it.

"C’mon, Curse-breaking seems much more interesting. I’d go with that without hesitation."

"Well then why don’t you? And let me become who I want to be?" Harry snapped. He ate the last bit of pizza, and wiped his hands. " Sorry I didn’t mean that, I’m tired. " He apologised as soon as he realised Ron said nothing that should have angered him. He rubbed his eyes.

"Hardly surprising, you barley slept these past few days, mate, seriously. Just forget about this job thing for a while, it isn’t going to do you any good. Besides, it’s not like you have to start work instantly, you have enough money to live happily for the rest of your life."

"I did sleep last night." Harry protested, deciding not to comment on the money part, as what Ron said was true, he did have a vault full of money. His friend didn’t, and even though he offered to help them, they never accepted it. What he also didn’t mention was that even though he did get a bit of sleep, he kept waking up from nightmares, and if it hadn’t been for the coffee he had every two hours, he would have nodded off halfway through the day. The nightmares, and pretty much everything else connected to the war were one of those topics they avoided. It sometimes resulted in uncomfortable silences, Harry agreed that it was better this way.

"I wonder who else from our year is going back to school." Ron said, changing the topic. "I know Neville decided to do the auror training. And Seamus isn’t going back either, he said something about opening some pub in Diagon."

"I think I heard Dean was going back."

"Oh yeah I heard that too. And Padma and Parvati. I don’t know about anyone else though."

"Me neither. I only know that most of the Slytherins aren’t returning, a lot of them got house arrests with their parents and stuff like that."

"Malfoy?"

"House arrest, in France. But I think he will be taking NEWTs."

"He deserves to rot in Azkaban with his father" Ron scowled.

"He isn’t that bad. I mean he did save my life once" Harry said, though he didn’t sound too sure about it. He might not have despised him as much as he did before, but it was still Malfoy.

"Yeah, and then you saved his, so don’t get any funny ideas of owing him or anything" Ron told him, making Harry grin, Ron knew him more than anyone else. He did feel like he owed Malfoy, a bit at least, but he guessed that speaking in his favour at the trials made them equal.

"Alright" Harry laughed. He vanished the empty pizza boxes, and stood up, yawning. "I’m tired, let’s pack it in for the day."

"I second that" Ron stood up as well, and the two friends made their way upstairs to their bedrooms, Ron in one of the guest ones, Harry sleeping in Sirius’s old room.

Days passed, Harry visited Kingsley once again, then spent another day reading before eventually deciding on Curse-breaking, which seemed ideal for him except for one small thing: he needed an Exceeds Expectations in Potions. Which was impossible to say the least with his skill and knowledge. So he went to the Ministry again, and consulted with several people before agreeing to let them find him a tutor.

He ended up spending a week doing whatever he wanted, before he got any news on the matter. He visited Ron and George; he went to Muggle London; he started repainting Sirius’s old motorbike that Arthur fixed for him, leaving the finishing touches for Harry. He also sat around at home, waiting for Ginny’s face to appear in the fireplace, so she could tell him about school, and he could tell her how much he missed her. He also thought about who will be chosen as his tutor. Was it going to be some weird old Potions master like Slughorn or someone distant and cold, but really talented and intelligent like Snape, or maybe just someone of his age, who was better at the subject than him? The Ministry owl arrived on Friday, with the name and address of his tutor. But something was wrong, the address was somewhere in France. And the name was Draco Lucius Malfoy.

"Are you kidding me? Malfoy?" Ron asked horrified, when he read through the letter Harry shoved into his face as soon as he got home that evening. "Don’t tell me there isn’t anyone else in the whole wizarding world who could help you in Potions. Why did they have to choose that git?"

"I have no idea" Harry sighed. "But it’s not just that. Why France? Why can’t it be someone here in London? I don’t speak French, I don’t know anyone there, it just doesn’t make any sense."

"Can’t you ask the Ministry to find you someone else?"

"Already tried. But apparently Malfoy is the best solution, as we know each other, and we would both benefit from it."

"Both benefit from it?! How would you both benefit from it? What would Malfoy benefit from it? You are lucky to actually learn something if you don’t get killed, but how can he benefit from it?"

"Search me" Harry rolled his eyes.

"When are you leaving?"

"I have a Portkey for next Wednesday."

"Wednesday? But that’s less than a week!"

"I know, but I guess I’ll just have to do it, no matter what."

"This sucks, mate."

"I know. If I don’t get an O after this, I swear I’ll be using some Unforgivables on some people."

The next few days passed quickly, way too quickly in Harry’s opinion, and soon he found himself at the Ministry, looking at the corkscrew on the table, his belongings in his pocket, all shrunken.

"Here goes nothing" he muttered, before taking hold of the charmed corkscrew, and letting it transport him in only a few seconds to his destination: a little French town.

From what he saw on his walk to the Malfoys’ place (Kingsley thought it would be safer for him to arrive outside the town for whatever reason), he thought it could have been England, the small cottages were no different from those they had back there. The one Malfoy and Narcissa were living in was just like the others, a simple Muggle house. The Ministry told him that he would be staying there in a spare bedroom made for him with the help of the expansion charm, until he mastered the needed level of potionmaking, practising in Malfoy's lab. Apart from this, all he knew was that Narcissa had a Muggle job helping out at a clothes shop in the town, and Draco also worked a bit from home, neither of them allowed to leave the boundaries the Ministry had set, and neither of them possessing a wand.

Narcissa greeted him when he arrived, looking as pale and tired as ever, and much to Harry’s surprise wearing a simple blouse and jeans, something he never thought he’d see her in. She showed him around the house before retreating to the living room where she was sorting through some papers, telling him that Malfoy was in his room, and that he should make himself comfortable in the his bedroom. Harry thanked her, and did as she suggested, unpacking, and quickly Flooing Ron and Ginny before lying down, hoping for a decent night’s sleep, not only so he would have all the energy he needed for next day to face Malfoy, but because he would have felt extremely embarrassed if he had woken up screaming from his nightmares like he did sometimes. Then again, a simple muffliato charm should do for the latter.

Next day he woke up feeling surprisingly fresh and well-rested, that didn't mean he was ready to study Potions. With Malfoy. In France. When he could have been at home, spending time with his friends, or just enjoying his freedom.

But then he reminded himself he needed this to get the job he wanted, so gritting his teeth, he headed downstairs to where Narcissa said the lab was, where his old nemesis was already waiting for him.

"Malfoy" he greeted him, sitting down at the table looking around. The walls were filled with shelves of books and tiny bottles, each of them full of liquids of different colours, labelled neatly. The work space however, was empty except for two cauldrons and a copy of a simple Potions schoolbook. Harry's eyes shifted towards Malfoy, who looked pretty much the same as he did the last time Harry saw him, apart from his white-blonde hair being longer, the strands escaping his elegant hair. He also seemed much thinner, Harry noticed, he must have lost at least 20 pounds, it made the boy's features much sharper and angled than they were before.

"Potter." he nodded, restraining himself from scowling, sitting down opposite to Harry. "So, I’ve heard the Chosen One may not be as perfect as everyone thought so. Problems with Potions? Seriously?"

"Shut up Malfoy!" Harry snapped. He wasn’t expecting any different, but it still angered him that the other boy was already getting under his skin.

"Whatever, Potter." Malfoy shrugged. "But then don’t expect to get anything better than a D." He smirked.

"Fine." Harry said angrily. "Just shut up about other things and let’s get on with it. I get it, I won’t pass the stupid exam without the help of perfect Draco Malfoy, who is the best Ministry-recommended tutor in the whole Wizarding world, but we’d make better progress if you actually started explaining things" he snarled.

For a moment Harry thought this would be the end, and Malfoy would stalk out, but after glaring at each other, the blonde broke the eye contact and opened the course book without any further ado, and started explaining everything, starting from the very basics. Harry soon found, that even though he would never admit it to anyone else, Malfoy was a good teacher. He cleared up some things Harry previously didn't understand; and apart from the snarky comments, he was almost patient. Well he did snap and start shouting and swearing when Harry messed up a potion even after trying several times, but still. He was way better than what Harry had expected.

Soon they developed a daily routine which consisted of going down to have breakfast on their own, avoiding each other; having a short, theoretical lesson in the morning; having lunch on their own; a longer practical lesson in the afternoon; spending time on their own; then having dinner on their own, except for when Narcissa insisted that they should sit together, which usually resulted in glares and uncomfortable silences.

But Harry was definitely improving at potions, and after all, that was what mattered. As two weeks passed, and October was drawing nearer, Harry found himself tired of arguing with Malfoy, and the other boy must have felt the same way, because all of a sudden the nasty remarks were gone, and they were actually capable of spending time in one room without wanting to kill one another. This definitely was an improvement. Malfoy would actually compliment him if he did something right, and Harry would smile at him. They didn’t try so hard to avoid each other in the time between the lessons, but actually greeted each other, and sometimes even stopped to have short conversations. Nothing too serious or deep, only little things, but this was already much better, Harry realised that Malfoy’s company was actually quite alright sometimes, now that they weren’t constantly arguing.

Weeks passed, and Harry was getting used to living there, and as now he felt more comfortable around the Malfoys, he decided it was time to change some things. He started going for walks around the town and the countryside. He spent a bit more time with Malfoy, they stayed in the lab every so often after the lessons and just talked. One evening Harry even asked Narcissa if he could cook something. They have been eating takeaway pretty much everyday, and Harry didn’t mind it, but after over a month, he had to admit it, it was getting a little repeatable, and he was craving a home-made meal.

Narcissa was surprised, but happy to let Harry work in the kitchen, so after making a quick supply run to the shop around the corner to get all the ingredients he needed for the curry, his favourite dish, he occupied the kitchen.

As he started heating the oil and chopping up the onions, the unmistakable smell of cooking filled his nose, he realised how much he missed it. Cooking was one of those things the Dursleys made him do, but he didn’t really mind it when he was making food for himself or his friends, and after seven years at Hogwarts without cooking, he enjoyed experimenting with all kinds of recipes that he learned from Muggle cook books.

He had started dicing the meat when he grew aware of someone watching him. As he looked up, he saw Malfoy standing in the doorway, watching him.

"You know, it’s not too polite to stare" he said, smirking at the boy. "And do try to be more secretive if you want to look at me." He added, grinning as he saw Malfoy blush, which was definitely something he hadn’t expected to see. Ever. But now that he did, he couldn't stop laughing, making the blonde boy blush even harder, his normally pale face was a deep shade of red. "You should see your face now!" he choked out, holding onto the counter as he tried to calm down, suppressing the laughter that was bubbling in his stomach. Malfoy just stood by the door, glaring at him, his face still flushed. "I’m just messing with you, no need to plan my death" he said with a shy grin as he finally stopped laughing, and went back to chopping the meat, but still keeping one eye on the other boy.

"I wasn’t. I never did. Plan your death, I mean." Malfoy said quietly. Harry looked up and saw that the boy's face was serious. Harry swallowed thickly and nodded, not knowing what to say, so he just kept staring at him, green eyes locked onto the pair of grey ones.

"So, do you want me to show you how to cook?" Harry broke the silence, moving to one side so Malfoy had his space at the counter, offering the boy a little smile. The blonde boy hesitated, running one hand through his hair, and chewing on his bottom lip, which caught Harry’s attention for some reason, he couldn’t explain, he looked away embarrassed, afraid of being caught staring. Malfoy made his way over to the counter. Harry carried on cutting up the meat, giving the other boy smaller tasks, explaining why he did things the way he did, and within half an hour the spicy scent of the simmering curry was filling the room. After tidying up, Harry sat down on one of the chairs, fanning himself with a piece of newspaper that was laying on the dining table, his gaze fluttering to the other boy, who was pouring himself a glass of water, before leaning back onto the counter, flushed, but this time from the heat of the cooking, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, his hair messy and curly from the vapour, making the lines of his face look softer. Harry didn't even know why he thought of that, shaking his head, he stood up, and started setting the table.

"So where did you learn how to cook?" Malfoy asked him, his tone genuinely curious, something Harry still wasn’t completely used to.

"The Dursleys, you know, my foster parents made me cook for them, so I had to, but I actually always enjoyed it a bit." He shrugged.

"They made you cook for them?" Malfoy asked, sounding horrified.

"That wasn’t the worst part. I had to do all the cleaning too, I could never go anywhere. I had to pretend that I didn’t exist whenever they had guests over, and I lived in the broom closet until I was eleven."

"You lived in the broom closet?!" The blonde boy echoed, his voice raised. Harry nodded. "That’s even worse than how we used to treat our house-elves. At least they had proper bedrooms."

Harry just shrugged again, and went to serve the dinner without a word, he didn’t understand why Malfoy was so shocked by how the Dursleys have treated him, or why he cared at all. Dinner passed quietly, apart from Narcissa complimenting Harry on the curry, but otherwise they ate in a silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was just strange. He noticed Malfoy looking at him few times, but he always looked away when Harry caught him staring. When they finished eating, Harry did the washing up by magic, not wanting to spend the rest of the evening scrubbing pans, something Draco watched almost in awe, telling Harry his wand was taken by the Ministry, and how he missed using magic, how strange doing everything manually was.

They carried on talking, and walked up the stairs together, but when they stopped on the landing, instead of parting ways, Malfoy asked Harry whether he could explain Muggle technology to him, and Harry was happy to do that, so he followed the other boy into his bedroom. He was surprised to see that the room wasn’t much different from the one he was staying in, except for having more books and other bits of things. But the walls were plain white, the bed wasn’t the posh four-poster he was expecting, and wasn’t covered in Slytherin green sheets with silver lining. It was just a simple bedroom.

"What were you expecting, Potter?" Draco smirked, and Harry realised he must have been staring in shock. "This isn’t Malfoy Manor."

"I don’t know. I just thought it would be more like you."

"More like me? And what’s that like?"

"Well definitely not this" Harry said, gesturing around the room.

"Oh and you know me so well that you are positive that I loved Malfoy Manor and now couldn’t stand living somewhere that wasn’t green and grey and silver and black and full of snake-patterns" Draco snorted.

"That’s not what I… oh never mind" Harry rolled his eyes, already feeling irritated with Malfoy, but also himself for thinking that they could actually spend time together properly, without things like this. He was on the verge of walking back to his own bedroom, when he noticed that Malfoy wasn’t glaring at him, he was smirking. Harry sighed, and flopped down onto the bed next to the boy, and started telling him how toasters and TVs and computers worked. He actually enjoyed it more than he thought he would, and he was surprised to see that Malfoy wasn’t being difficult, but genuinely curious and interested, and would listen to Harry’s explanations without interrupting, only showering him with questions afterwards, a fascinated smile spreading over his face, Harry thought that Malfoy was much nicer this way, smiling, friendly, patient and interested in almost a childlike way.

They made this a regular thing, often making breakfast or dinner together, and spending hours before going to sleep talking about Muggle things, and sometimes bringing up other topics as well, and Harry realised he was starting to enjoy Malfoy’s company.

Harry was also improving in Potions, he was now able to make quite a lot of decent ones, and Malfoy was almost proud of him. However then he accidentally burned the cauldron down, causing the blonde boy to give him silent treatment and avoid him after yelling at him about being irresponsible and hopeless.

But after a day of ignoring each other they called truce, and went back to doing things together. This was when Harry realised actually how much time they spent together, and how he talked to Ron or Hermione and Ginny less and less, calling the girls late that evening, feeling guilty. Hermione told him about the lessons, and asked him questions about potions, she was happy with his progress, reminding him again how important it was, and that he needed to carry on. She then left Harry to talk to Ginny privately. They talked about school mostly, and how they missed each other, and how Harry had to go home for Christmas, because Ginny couldn’t go any longer without talking to him properly, face to face, or kissing him, or touching him, and before saying goodbye, Ginny pulled her shirt up, teasing Harry, saying all kinds of dirty words she could think of, leaving the boy with a hard-on. He was too embarrassed to wank, being separated from Malfoy by only one thin wall.

He kept thinking about Ginny, even though he didn’t call her for some time, thinking how things would be when they both got back home. Will they get married straight away? Will they have kids? And if yes, how many? He missed her, a lot, but he had to admit, these thoughts were scaring him slightly. He knew Ron and Hermione were planning on getting married and moving in together when Hermione graduated, but Harry wasn’t sure if he could imagine himself settling down already and becoming a father.

In the end he found himself in the lab, as he did quite often for some time now, deciding it was the best time to practice, trying to make some dreamless sleep for himself, but failing, which meant he could only hope for a decent night’s sleep without nightmares, even though he knew it was unlikely.

He did seem to have less nightmares than before, but now when he did, they were the worst ever, and he would wake up screaming, and couldn’t go back to sleep properly afterwards, and would be stressed and irritable all day. He just really hoped Malfoy never heard him screaming, embarrassed even by the thought of it. One night he felt two unfamiliar firm hands shaking him awake, and a voice, unsure yet steady telling him to breathe, and how it only had been a dream, and finally when Harry was calm enough, handing him a vial of dreamless sleep, he thought he never could have been more thankful, even though he was indeed extremely embarrassed.

Malfoy gave him dreamless sleep and that was all that mattered, because he slept until 1 PM next day, and when he woke up, he feels much better than other mornings, except for the sadness and anger that lingered from the nightmare, but he was used to that. He didn’t even want to get up from bed, he wanted to just stay there and disappear, somehow slip into nonexistence. It was mostly on the days after his nightmares, but sometimes even on just ordinary days, that he thought of what it would have been like to stay dead. He knew some people would have missed him, but with the Horcrux in him destroyed, the world didn’t need him anymore. And it wasn’t bad, it didn’t hurt at all, Sirius had been right, he didn’t feel anything. It didn’t really feel like being dead. It didn’t feel like anything to be honest. But he came back, even though he wasn’t sure he should have.

He decided to go and tell Malfoy that he wasn’t in the mood to study, but he didn’t find the boy in his bedroom or the lab or anywhere else. Or at least anywhere he was expecting to find him, he realised why as he entered the kitchen, there stood Malfoy he was cooking something by the stove, it smelt amazing. The smell of cinnamon mixed with apples and something sweet filled Harry's nose.

"Hi." he said quietly, stopping in the doorway.

"Hey," Malfoy looked up to greet him. "You look like shit" he informed him. Harry snorted. He didn’t need Malfoy to tell him that. He felt like shit. "I’m making you food. Sit."

"What? Harry looked up at him, shocked, unsure if he heard him right. Malfoy was making him breakfast. Malfoy. For him. How did this even happen? And why?

"Can’t you ever do just one thing you’re asked for?" The blonde boy asked, rolling his eyes. "Are you really that much of a rebel?" He asked, as he watched Harry sit down, still dazed, he smiled. His voice was softer than the usual, and Harry couldn't understand why. He continued to stare at the blonde boy in complete shock, until the latter lets out a soft chuckle, and told him to stop staring at him with his mouth open. Harry felt his cheeks grow warm in embarrassment, and he mumbled something Malfoy couldn't quite make sense of. Harry dropped his gaze to the table, and toyed with the spoon. He runhis hand through his hair which was messier than usual, he didn’t even try to comb it as he was planning to go back to bed. He felt Malfoy's eyes on him. Harry turned his head to meet the blonde boy's gaze just as Malfoy turned away.

Malfoy sat down opposite to Harry, handing him his breakfast and a cup of coffee, he himself only drinking tea.

They sat in silence, the blonde watching Harry eat.

"We don’t have to study today" he said, breaking the silence. Harry just nodded, still confused by the boy’s kindness, and carried on eating. As he finished, he watched Malfoy sipping his tea, gazing out of the window. He looked different, Harry thought, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on the difference, the only thing he noticed was that his hair was messier than usual. That couldn’t have made such a big difference, it was more than that. It was something about his whole face, all of his features. But mostly his eyes. His eyes were definitely different, no longer cold and distant, but almost soft. Harry watched his eyes fixed on the garden outside, the shape of the window reflected in the sliver greyness. The practically white eyelashes around his eyes. His pale, porcelain-like skin. The pointiness of his nose. The pinkness of his lips, that for once weren’t frowning. His perfect jawline. The way his shoulder length hair fell onto his shoulders. Harry thought he was beautiful. He felt weird had just thought that, but as he continued to look at the boy, he couldn’t help but admit it. He also couldn't help but notice how his heart was hammering in his chest. He tore his gaze away from the boy and looked back down at the table. What was wrong with him? Why was he finding Malfoy attractive? He swallowed hard, allowing himself another glance at the boy. He noticed the longing in his eyes, the sadness on his face, and he realised, Malfoy must be missing being outdoors. Of course he must miss being outside! He had been in the house arrest for over a year.

Harry couldn't stop thinking how terrible it must be, not being able to go out, and within a minute the idea pops in his mind. He stood up abruptly and told Malfoy he’d be back in a sec. He rushed up to the bedroom and called Kingsley on the Floo, begging him to allow Malfoy leave the house with him, explaining what a great teacher he was, and telling the Minister that he trusted him. He didn’t actually realise all of this before he said it out loud, but it was true. He trusted Malfoy, especially after he gave Harry dreamless sleep and made him breakfast. He deserved something good. Harry was really pleased with himself when Kingsley permitted him to open the doors and go somewhere with Malfoy. He had to make him a promise that he’d look out for the blonde and would be careful, which Harry promised he would. He quickly packed few things and rushed back down to the kitchen.

Malfoy looked up startled as Harry re-entered the kitchen, his expression soon turning to shock, as Harry told him to get up because they were going out.

"What do you mean ‘out’?" He asked, looking at Harry in confusion.

"I talked to Kingsley" Harry shrugged, as if it was nothing, already making his way to the door, unlocking it, and casting several counter spells that would let Draco out as well. The blonde boy followed him, still shocked and surprised, but as he stepped outside and inhaled the fresh air and felt the breeze tug at his hair, he just closed his eyes and let a smile spread across his face. Gosh, how he had missed this. Harry stood looking at him, smiling, thinking how gorgeous Malfoy looked with the strands of blonde hair flowing around his face. No. He wasn’t gorgeous, Harry thought, feeling angry with himself, feeling like his thoughts were betraying him.

"There’s a beach a few miles from here" Draco spoke up.

"Are you suggesting we go there?" Harry asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

"thought that was obvious" Draco smirked, and Harry grinned at him as they set off. They walked in silence, until Draco spoke again. "Thanks. For taking me out." He said quietly. Harry looked up at him. "And everything" the boy carried on. "Testifying for my mother. Saving my life in that room."

Harry didn’t say anything for a few moments. The situation was so strange, Malfoy sounded so honest and so vulnerable, and he just didn’t quite know what to say.

"I did what I thought had to be done." He said in the end. "And… I never thought you deserved Azkaban." He added after a pause, avoiding Malfoy’s eyes. "You saved me too, at the Manor."

"I should have done more" the blonde boy whispered. "I was a coward. I still am. I should have helped." The words spilled out of Draco, no louder than the wind whistling in their ears, and if Harry hadn’t seen his lips moving, he wouldn’t have believed that he heard what he heard. He watched the boy’s face, noticing the way his eyes were shining, tears flooding them. "I deserved all they planned for me at the trial. You should have left me there, but I guess you can’t stop yourself from saving people’s lives, even if you hate them." He said, a sad smile on his face, Harry found it heart wrenching. He swallowed thickly, once again lost for words. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t true, that he didn’t deserve to be punished, that he didn’t hate him. He wanted to squeeze his hand and tell him it was okay. But he didn’t, instead he kept quiet, and carried on walking.

Neither of them said anything on the rest of the way to the beach. It was quite a long walk, they both stopped to catch their breaths as they arrived at the end of the cliff from where the carved steps led down to the beach. Harry had been going out for strolls around the area, but he felt a little exhausted after the walk, and Draco, who had been indoors for ages was clutching his side, but it was definitely worth it.

The view was beautiful, the sun was just starting to set, tainting the sky pink and orange, the warm light reflecting on the surface of the water, the white cliffs and the pale sand on the shore making the picture perfect. It was breezy, but not too much, just enough to ripple the surface of the ocean and to catch in their hair.

They made their way down to the beach, Harry spread out the blankets he brought with him, before sitting down, Malfoy following him, they sat down, watching the sky together.

"I miss Sirius." Harry suddenly blurted out, not even knowing why he said it, regretting it immediately.

"Your godfather?" Malfoy asked, not looking at him, messing around with a stick he found in the sand. Harry nodded, and lied back on the blanket.

"He and Remus were the only people who made me feel like-" He took sharp intake of breath. "-like I still had a piece of my parents with me" he sighed. He didn’t know why he was telling Malfoy this, but he couldn't stop himself. As the blonde boy seemed genuinely curious, Harry carried on talking, telling him about third year, how he met Sirius, and about Peter Pettigrew, and the Marauders Map, and about the Order of the Phoenix, and everything Sirius told him about his parents. Malfoy listened intensely, asking questions every so often, being very careful not to cross the boundaries.

"I’m sorry they aren’t around anymore." Malfoy simply said when Harry stopped talking. He tilted his head to the side, looking at Malfoy’s face, studying his expression, but he couldn't see anything except for honesty and sadness, and something slightly even like an affection. He felt like crying, but he didn't want to cry in front of the other boy. He knew he should feel angry, after all if Malfoy hadn’t let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts, if his father hadn’t been there at the Department of Mysteries, Sirius and Remus could still be have been alive, but that’s too many ‘if’s. Harry thought of asking Malfoy what his intentions actually were, or something, but he chose to keep silent.

"I’m going swimming" he announced after laying around for a while, he stood up, already taking his shirt off.

"Are you crazy? It must be minus twenty down there°C!" Draco exclaimed, sitting up.

"Yeah, sure, minus two hundred." Harry chuckled. "Chill Malfoy ." Harry rolled his eyes, shucking his jeans as well, making his way to the water, ignoring the feeling of the other boy’s eyes on him.

"Come back here you prat, I don't fancy being framed for your death. It’s dark and it’s cold and you will drown. We can come back here tomorrow and then you can do whatever you want." Malfoy called after him, making Harry laugh.

"If you are so worried about me, come with me" he snorted, stepping into the water, leaning down and splashing it over his body, before carrying on walking deeper into the water. He was in knee-deep when Malfoy caught up with him, stopping at the side of the water. Harry went in even deeper, looking back and shooting a grin at Malfoy. "You better take that shirt off if you want to rescue me when I drown."

The blonde boy just stood there shaking his head as Harry carried on, the water was now up to his shoulders. He couldn't help but laugh as he looked at the fully clothed Malfoy standing on the beach, and suddenly an idea crossed his mind. What if he faked drowning? Would Malfoy really rush to rescue him? He grinned in anticipation, before going in a bit deeper, and pretending to drown, yelling for help, and sure enough, the blonde was there beside him within seconds, his hands around Harry’s waist.

"You idiot" Malfoy said angrily, letting go of Harry when the brunette burst out laughing.

"And you said I’m the one with a saving people's lives-problem." Harry choked out, still shaking from laughter, clutching his stomach with his arms.

"You’re such an imbecile! We could have both lost our footing! I thought you were really drowning." he sneered, and splashed Harry with water. The other boy splashed him back immediately, still laughing, and soon enough Draco was laughing too. They were splashing each other madly, trying to get away from one another, making their way to the beach.

"Scared?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow as they reached the dry land, still breathless from laughing, clutching each other.

"You wish." Draco smirked, and chased Harry back to the blankets, ending up on top of Harry, kneeling between the boy’s legs, holding his hands down above his head. "Feeling defeated, Potter? Did I just defeat the Great Harry Potter?

"As if I’d let you." Harry said, wrapping his legs around Malfoy's waist. He knocked the boy over, straddling him, with a triumphant grin, which died down as soon as their eyes met. Until now, Harry didn’t quite realise how close they were, only a few inches between their faces. He was starting to feel uncomfortable, and dropped his gaze, but if anything, this made things worse, as he found himself staring at Malfoy’s chest, his white shirt sticking to his body, the wetness making it almost see-through, the boy’s lean muscles and his hardened nipples visible to Harry, making him blush. What was wrong with him? It was the third time that day that he found the boy extremely attractive.

"Potter…" Malfoy spoke up, sounding a little embarrassed, as he shifted underneath him. Harry didn't get it for a moment, but then he realises he had an unmistakable hardness in his pants, and it was pressing right into the blonde boy’s thigh.

"Shit, I’m sorry, I just…" he stammered, as he stood up as fast as he could.

"Stop, it’s okay. It’s a normal reaction, I guess, I mean you’ve been away from your girlfriend, and…" Malfoy trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished, avoiding looking at Harry, who was also avoiding looking anywhere near the other boy. "Let’s go home. Or do you want me to go and you can just stay here, think of your lovely girlfriend, jerk off, and meet me back at the house" Draco said, picking their stuff up, his words making Harry blush even harder.

"I’m… I’ll be alright" Harry managed to say. Malfoy snorts.

"For Merlin’s sake, just stay here, and follow me back when you-" "fuck, just take care of yourself, Potter!" With that said, Malfoy was already turning his back to Harry.

"You are wet. You’ll catch a cold." Harry said desperately, not wanting to make this situation any awkward, which he probably was doing anyway.

"Well then cast a drying charm on me, will you?!" Malfoy looked angry. Why was he like that? He was sneering at Harry, Harry felt like they were back at Hogwarts and Malfoy was about to make one of his snarky comments that always boiled Harry's blood. "You are the one with a wand, you arse!" He rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed huff. "if you are so concerned about my health then do it." he snapped, and Harry obeyed. As soon as he did, the blonde haired boy turned around and left in a rush without saying another word. What was wrong with him? Why did he get so pricky about all of this?!

He left Harry there on the beach. On his own. With a bulge in his pants. Still painfully pressing to his trousers.

He tried to think of Ginny, he really did, but he couldn’t help it, his thoughts drifted back to earlier that day, Malfoy’s hair flowing in the breeze, and Harry remembered how much he wanted to run his hands through it. The closeness of the boy made his body shiver, his angular face, his soft silver eyes, his flat yet arousing chest… oh Merlin, he felt like he could melt away just thinking of him, however weird it is, and however guilty he felt about not thinking of Ginny. What the fresh hell?! Malfoy was a boy! Harry wasn't gay for crying out loud! How the hell was he getting of to the thoughts of Malfoy?

The next few days passed in their usual routine, making breakfast together, Potions theory, having lunch together, brewing, making dinner together, and talking about Muggle things until it’s time for bed. Neither of them mentioned the day at the beach, and Harry was thankful for that, but he couldn’t stop thinking back to that very day, and what it felt like to be that close to Malfoy. He kept thinking back, and would often get distracted from doing whatever he was just by looking at Malfoy, or listening the way he talked about Potions, with such enthusiasm, or the excitement on his face when he showed Harry a book on Muggle things and told him how he finally understood how something worked, and it dawned on him, that he was growing more and more attracted to him.

It wasn’t just his looks that made Harry want to press the other boy to the wall and snog him senseless, though he didn’t even try to deny how his soft platinum hair and silver eyes drove him crazy, but it was his whole personality. The way he was nice to Harry now, always, but still kept teasing him, and Harry would tease back, and sometimes it occurred him that it felt almost like they were flirting or something. Or how patient and serious he could be as a teacher. Or how clever and intelligent he was, almost like Hermione, but in a different way. Or how he enjoyed just small things, like walking out into the garden when the sun was shining, or finding a new book among his mother’s belongings that he could read, or a nice meal they made together. How honest he could be sometimes. How passionate he would get if he was talking about something that was important to him. How similar his sense of humour was to Harry’s. He felt like they could be friends, like actual friends, who would stay in contact and have fun together even when they weren’t locked up in a small cottage in France together to study Potions. But real friends. And maybe even more, because Harry wanted to touch him again, to feel his soft skin, or his silky looking hair. Malfoy was driving Harry crazy, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

After another week or so Draco told him that he was doing well enough to pass his NEWTs easily, and they decided to go down to the beach once again, before Christmas. They spent the whole day there, taking a basket of food, they swam, but only a bit because the water was much colder by now, they talked and laughed and talked even more, about school, about their childhoods, about Quidditch, anything they thought of. Harry couldn't imagine his life without the blonde boy by now. He thought of how hard it will be for him to leave this bastard. How hard will it be to say goodbye to all their memories. Forget about all that they have accomplished and of course, about the whole attraction thing. Harry didn't even know if maybe he allowed himself do what his mind, and other parts of his body, told him to do, then would he discover something about himself. He found his mind drifting off to this idea while he stared at the blonde looking up to the sky.

As the sky grew darker, covered in thousands of sparkling spots, bright and shining like diamonds, scattered all over the sheet of the night, they lay back on their blankets, and Malfoy started to point the constellations out to Harry, saving his favourite one, his own one, the dragon for last. His voice proud as he told the boy next to him which one it was, which Harry found adorable, and returned the boy’s smirk with a grin of his own. Their eyes met for longer than they have ever held each other's gaze. It was like looking at the other's soul through them, finally seeing the real version of the person they never got the chance to get to know better. Harry wanted to kiss Malfoy. He wanted to throw his arms around the boy and press their lips together. He didn't. Whether it was because he was scared of what would happen if he did or he was scared of what he would become if he made this move. Harry turned his face towards the ground. The moment was ruined.

Sometime after staying quiet for a while, they started to talk about more serious things, and Malfoy told Harry how he didn’t want to kill Dumbledore, and how he only realised then that his parents were wrong, and how all he wanted before was to make his father proud. How he did everything afterwards just so Voldemort wouldn’t kill his parents. How terrible it was to let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts, but how he had no other choice if he wanted his parents to live. What it was like to live at Malfoy Manor with the Dark Lord. How he wanted to just apparate somewhere where no one knew him and there were no expectations he had to live up to, no war, no pain, no suffering. How he felt like a coward but still didn’t do anything.

Harry saw the tears shining on Malfoy's cheeks, in the moonlight, as he got to the end of his story, and without thinking, he wrapped his arm around the boy, pulling him close to himself. Malfoy instantly pulled back as if Harry's touch burned him. He mumbled something about not wanting to be pitied and knowing that he was a coward and a bad person but he wanted to change, and Harry didn’t know what to say, so he just sat there beside him.

Later they lay down on their blankets, and fell asleep next to each other under the starry sky.

When Harry woke up, to the first rays of sunshine stroking his skin, he found himself wrapped around Malfoy's arms, their bodies pressed together. He stayed in those arms for a while, enjoying the warmth that came from Draco's, not Malfoy's, body. Oh how much he wanted to stay here forever and just breath this air, go for long walks, talk to Draco, discover himself, get away from all the stress that England and people there caused him. But he couldn't do it. He felt too obligated to be the man everyone expected him to be. He couldn't just disappear and stay here with the blonde. It would be mad. Besides, he had his friends in England, his girlfriend, probably soon to be wife. He wanted to have a family and a job that he enjoyed, the job that would make him feel more human than just the Savour of Wizarding World. He had to go back home, no matter how much his heart was begging him to stay here and try losing himself in the unknown, something that didn't feel quite possible and normal, in something that was as exciting as scary. Just trying to be happy without all the shit that was going to await for him in London. Harry got up from under the blanket and Draco's arms carefully, making sure he wouldn’t wake the other boy up. He conjured a piece of parchment and a quill, with a deep sigh he started writing a letter. He knew he wasn’t the best with words, especially when they were goodbyes, and writing it all down helped, he could say all the things he could never say face to face. He could thank Draco and promise him he’d talk to Kingsley and find a way for him to come back to England. At least that's what Harry wanted. If he couldn't stay here he wanted to hold on to this unexpected friendship in any way he could. He wrote how he’d wait for Draco, and would want to see him, when he did come back to WIzarding World where Harry would be. Harry realised how much he's going to miss Draco, his smile, his snaky comments, the lessons with him, their midnight or morning walks to the beach, their inside jokes, their conversations, Draco's eyes that at some point became everything Harry could think of, just Draco Malfoy in general, still the same git, but trying to become better.

Harry rolled up his blanket and put it back into the basket along with all of the other scattered bits, and put the letter on top. He looked down at the boy below him, and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek, feeling the soft skin underneath his lips and smelling the scent he will never be able to get out of his mind, he didn't realise when a warm tear run down his cheek. He shook himself from the trans he was in. Before he got up to his feet and head back to Malfoy's house and then the town to take his Portkey back to London, he took one last look at Draco sleeping peacefully on the beach, Harry once again couldn't breath. If he never again got the chance to see this idiot, he didn't know if he would ever feel understood and complete as much as he did in Draco's presence. He could only hope for the best.

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Read Chapter Two HERE

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry head canon #head canon #my fic #first chapter #re writting stuf #wip #fic #ao3 #feelings we can't let go #drarry squad #harry potter #draco malfoy

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thedogsled · 7 years ago

Text

This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.

This episode was like Castiel, it literally wouldn’t let me sleep. I woke up still screaming from last night because omfgsoshookwtfwtf, but hopefully the rest of this will make more sense. This will ultimately be a “Destiel of it all” sort of post, so bear with me if that’s what you’re here for.

I was thinking about how often meta writers have to defend the ‘We’re not psychic don’t ask us to speculate’ thing, which from the perspective of all involved just sucks. If something doesn’t go as predicted then two things often happen: the reader ends up disappointed, and the meta writer gets it rubbed in their face. That sucks. But the thing is that particularly after episodes like last night’s, readers are going to be more convinced than ever that meta writers can see the future, and I wanted to go through some of the reasons why just so that you’re all on the same page about it.

By reading into the meta, meta writers observe the trends of both how the writers write, how they engage the audience in text and subtext, how the visual effects and everything else comes together to produce a storyline, and how parallels tie us into the present day. When you start with the premise that “every story is about Sam and Dean or Sam or Dean in some way” which PTB have stated in the past, then untangling what those stories mean about our boys makes perfect sense, and that’s what meta writers do. So Bloodlines? Was about our boys. That episode where Dean and Sam work Rufus and Bobby’s old case? Was about our boys. It’s all about Sam and Dean (and when it’s not, it’s about the people closest to them ftr).

Now a lot of it I will give you is that if you throw out enough words some of them will stick. It’s almost inevitable; there’s only so many stories you can tell, especially if you consider that the characters are going to be who they are. That’s helpful. That’s where reading character and subtext really comes in. When you’re complimenting a fanfiction writer on how IC their characters are, you’re complimenting their read of a character on screen. A good empathic reader will be able to generally predict how a character will act in a given situation because they’re following the general trend of their storyline and know how they deal with similar situations in the past (especially with such a huge canon to draw from as SPN).

Let me talk about 13x04, though, because we were screeching with delight all the way through it. I hate to say “I told you so” but... And while you read the following I want you to think – with an open mind - about this question: If meta writers were right about all of this based on our read of the text/subtext then maybe they’re not wrong about Destiel.

P.S. this is an instinctual first read, I haven’t even had a chance to rewatch the episode yet, and through conversation I expect I’ll change my mind here and there.

Under the cut because it’s HUGE

The Empty

Prediction: The Empty is the place where all angels go when they die. Castiel will face himself in the Empty. He will struggle with his past experiences, all the wrong he’s done and overcome it through force of will. He may have to confront his feelings for Dean in some way. The word love may come up. An act of free will – a choice to return – will set him free.

A handful of counter predictions: Cas will face someone else in the Empty. Jack will be the one to get Cas out. Cas will face all the other facets of himself. Cas will be the only thing in the Empty.

What we had to go on: A couple of interviews in which Misha mentioned how weird (and completely different to other things he’s done on SPN so far) the work he did for the Empty was, how boring it was, that he worked with another actor (and that the actor was handsome); Castiel’s depression arc; Jack can’t get him out; the tiniest flash in the promo after 13x03 of Godstiel and a gooey black figure. This is a show about choice and free will, not magic powers saving the day (look at the season 11 finale)

What we got: The Empty is the place when angels and demons go to when they die. Castiel faces himself in the Empty but it is in fact an ancient spirit older than God who just wants a nap. He’s forced to live out his past experiences, all the wrong he’s done, and overcomes it through force of will. He is forced to confront his feelings, the word love comes up, and he chooses to return to Earth.

To sum up: The show gives us some surprises, Misha trolls with us, but ultimately we get what we expect and meta writers look psychic.

Sam Winchester’s Emotions

Prediction: Sam Winchester has feelings too. He is struggling in particular with the loss of Mary, and the reason why it’s predominately on his mind more than Cas is because he’s grieving her more than Dean. Sam is better at hiding what he feels, but he is hurting right now, and sooner or later we’ll see it. Probably in an episode that’s all about grief… In addition: Sam’s treatment of Jack is not healthy, and recalls Ruby’s training of Sam in a lot of creepy ways, and sooner or later someone has to call him on it. The way he’s treating Jack is due to his feelings about Mary and about himself.

Counter predictions: Sam Winchester’s feelings are more important than Dean’s, also he is totally right about Jack, and about his approach to Jack’s training etc. and nothing will go wrong with putting that much pressure on what is essentially a small child.

What we had to go on: 12 fucking seasons of Sam Winchester acting tough on the outside, needling Dean viciously about his emotions, and only sharing his own after he makes Dean crack. 12 seasons of Sam putting practicality before himself. 12 seasons of the boys bottling things up while you scream at them until you’ve had enough and they’ve had enough and they have a big fight and briefly go their separate ways. Have you watched them? Also: every time Mary was in the room Sam wanted to get closer to her physically since he couldn’t manage it emotionally. He never knew his mother, but Mary didn’t know him either, and Sam is much more a stranger to her than Dean is. Mary connects with Dean, and it’s Dean who gets to settle things with her in her nightmare world, and Sam is feeling a loss that he’s felt his entire life. Basically all Sam’s MOL arc.

What we got: Sam needled Dean about his grief, and then Sam fucking lost it. This was a surprise to half the audience who for some reason didn’t see it coming. And you know what Sam did after he lost it? He went back into hunter mode like it was out of style and went after the monster. That’s my boy.

To sum up: We don’t talk enough about Sam, but you know what? I feel most of us (unless we were somehow oblivious to Sam doing anything more than caring for the nougat and being Good) knew that Sam stuff was coming. Sam doesn’t have less emotions than Dean, he just has them differently.

Jack Kline misses his mother and other stories

Prediction: Jack is all alone in the world and he misses his mother. He is genuinely scared of Dean. He still thinks Sam is using him. He thinks Dean is going to kill him and wants to earn his approval/wants Dean to like him. He just wants to be a real boy and play video games and watch tv. He will learn to use his powers more. Jack will be the boys’ intern (dig the grave) and be integral in dealing with the monster of the week. Jack is more human than Dean thinks and more monster than Sam thinks. He thinks he’s going to become a monster, but he’ll get to choose.

What we had to go on: Jack’s growth so far. Promo photos. Alexander’s interviews etc. etc. And the theme of this season which is “we can choose who we want to be”.

Other predictions: ……….were there any?

What we got: Totally owned it. On top of that we got a monster who was choosing to be good and doing good, who came into an episode ostensibly about ghosts and made it an episode 100% not about ghosts. I was surprised and delighted. And that monster shapeshifted into Jack’s mom and hugged him and told him he could be anyone he wanted to be. Also Anakin Skywalker references but I saw that coming 500 years ago.

To sum up: I love this kid and I love his storyline and what he reflects in Sam and Dean. Just like Sam, he misses his mom, and just like Dean, he misses Cas. What more can you ask for?

Dean Winchester is a Dick

Prediction: Dean, who is feeling the loss of his love, is acting a lot like John when he lost Mary. Dean is in grieving and not handling it well. He’s throwing his rage around and it’s not making him or the people around him – who are also grieving – feel better. He’s being a dick. He will realize this at some point (either by grief counsellor or Sam’s needling) and start trying to work past it. He’ll also acknowledge that maybe the nougat isn’t all bad and start to like him a little bit (will need to acknowledge him somehow and put to rest the idea that he will turn around and kill him the second he knows how).

What we had to go on: How Dean has acted so far, and the general idea that the situation as it is is unsustainable. We as an audience needed Dean to start moving past his grief because it’s too hard to watch. We also had the recent interview tease that Sam and Dean’s perspectives on Jack would be flipping, and all of the callbacks and parallels that we’ve had to John so far this season.

Other predictions: DEAN ISN’T A DICK. DEAN IS NOT JOHN. STFU. Also Sam is the more emotional brother??? Er, and of course Dean can do no wrong and he is 100% right about his treatment of Jack and his delivery of the threat to kill him.

What we got: Sam said that Dean is acting like John and Dean asked if that was such a bad thing. Dean opened up about some of his feelings and triggered Sam’s outburst, he also acknowledged his anger, said out loud that he’s being a dick, exposed how bad a place he’s in emotionally, and acknowledged what his anger is doing to Jack. He let the nougatty goodness into his heart, and still suitably wary or not, he gave the kid a chance. He also made it clear that his pain is not all about Mary, because Sam who was more upset about Mary was freed up emotionally by talking about her with the grief counsellor while Dean is still not in a good place and as much as says so, with a direct “I have no faith” parallel right before a screen flip to Castiel getting out of the Empty when Cas is the one who introduced Dean to the nebulous idea of “faith” in the first place.

Other things predicted that happened:

Sam and Dean resolved their dispute

Sam and Dean flipped opinions on Jack and Mary by finally listening to each other and taking each other’s opinions/feelings/instinct into account

More INCREDIBLE PARALLELS signed sealed and delivered

Jack is getting happier

The real unfettered Castiel loves nature

Mention of unrequited love?!?!

Post depression: “A brand new you” + new coat and new tie + SUNSHINE

idk some other stuff this episode was packed

A caveat about meta writers, Castiel and Destiel:

We get excited too. We’re human and we’re excited for potential things that don’t happen too. Now while it became very clear that this would be an episode about motherhood a few days ago, for weeks we’ve been talking about just how nice it would be if Dean acknowledged his pain for Cas somehow too. But you know what? That wasn’t this episode, and that’s okay.

What isn’t okay is rubbing it in people’s faces and saying ‘haha Dean doesn’t care about Cas’ because bro, we’ve had three episodes where it was all about Cas. The thing was, Cas was in this episode (and not just because he was literally in this episode). He filled all the negative space. He is the source of Dean’s anger, which they were about to address when the monster of the week decided that their counselling session had run out of time.

Castiel was there, and I know for sure some of the folks around here will show you just how much in the coming week.

Did we want the counsellor to change into Cas too? Mm. Me personally no, because Dean’s grief doesn’t work like that. He’s not about to accept a replacement for Cas or his Mom. And hug the shapeshifter who may or may not (on her word alone) want to belly stab him? That would never happen; he wouldn’t let down his guard like that. So say I, but I’m sure there will be a heartbreaking coda where I get to read all about it so maybe my opinion will change.

Did I want him to talk about it? In retrospect no. Look, I’d love for a magic bullet to put Sam on the same page as Dean about Cas but actually…I’m quite happy with the subtext as it is. Dean talking about Cas with someone he doesn’t know out of the blue like that would cheapen it for me. Hell, in some ways I want Sam to work out and put a name to Dean’s love for Cas himself, because I think he’s the only person who can convince Dean that it’s alright.

So about Destiel. If you’ve been keeping up then this episode should be a primer for what meta writers are capable of extrapolating from a story based on where it’s been in the past, how storywriting works and what the characters are like. Now, if that can be accomplished for one episode, and we have all these clues to years of subtext between Dean and Castiel, then I have to ask you: do you believe us yet? And if not, why not? What key piece is missing at this point?

The thing is we look at the story, we look at the negative space, the cinematography, the tropes, and this bell is ringing noisily in our heads, train whistled and fangirl screams and all the rest of it: HERE COMES THE DESTIEL TRAIN! It’s impossible to ignore. It’s so impossible to ignore it makes people who’ve never seen the canon think they’re in love, it makes people who come into the show determined not to be swept away by Destiel see it anyway, and it makes members of the GA shift in their seat and go “There’s something weird about Dean and Cas right?”

So please. If you’re still not convinced that this show is going to go there, do me one small favour. Okay ‘small’ is a little off the mark, but. Go back and watch parts of the show again, but instead of watching it determined to ignore Dean’s feelings for Cas, watch for those moments instead. Watch it because you want to see it there: watch Dean stare through the Gas N Sip window at his friend; watch Dean’s face after April kills him; watch him stare into a mirror and try and remember Castiel’s name; watch Cas offer to die for him just so Dean doesn’t have to do it alone; watch as even Lucifer calls Dean out on the way he calls Cas’ name; feel the tension in the room where Dean shoves Cas back across the room and stares at his goddamn mouth; watch him mourn and mourn and mourn and pray and beg for his friend back.

Meta readers read what’s there. They aren’t psychic, they aren’t making predictions, and occasionally they’ll be wrong. But maybe, just maybe, we’re not wrong about this.

I believe, Dean. I believe.

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pokefanbri · 4 years ago

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1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

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thehalfworld · 7 years ago

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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic

I was talking to an online friend on Twitter not too long ago, and the subject of bad fanfiction came up. My friend had been reading “My Immortal” and losing his shit over it. I asked if he’d read “Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen” and it turned out he had not. He’d never even heard of it.

Indeed, while this story is one of the best-known badfics out there, it’s still considerably less popular than “My Immortal” is, and I think that’s a damn shame. This may be my personal favorite work of bad fanfiction; it’s a fantastic example of the “so bad it’s good” genre. Author BeckyMac666 writes like no other English-language writer has ever written, and this is both a good and a bad thing. She’s almost certainly a troll, given the blatant use of established badfic tropes and several parallels with “My Immortal,” but when you’re this good at being terrible it really doesn’t matter how serious you are about it.

For the record, there are folks who believe that this fic and “My Immortal” share an author, due to the aforementioned parallels. I personally don’t think that’s true, since the prose is very different, but if it amuses you to imagine that they’re written by the same person, be my guest.

Like virtually all Twilight badfic, this story is about a mysterious new girl arriving in Forks and shaking up Bella and Edward’s relationship by creating a love triangle. As usual, Bella is made out to be completely awful in the process, Jacob is largely forgotten about, and the protagonist may not be entirely human herself. This is far weirder, and more entertaining, than your average shitty Twilight fanfiction, though. Mark my words.

I first MSTed this fanfiction back on the old WordPress version of this blog, but, as that was a long time ago and I like to think I’m funnier nowadays, I rewrote most of my comments. It’s not wildly different, but hopefully it is an improvement over the old version.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time!

I have no idea what the unedited version of this thing looked like, but I honestly can’t imagine it being any more ridiculous than the final story.

btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok !

Use spellcheck, you fool! Or get a proofreader!

no critisism pls!

Oops.

tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL!

The Tara parallel here is probably intentional. Zac never gets mentioned again, much like Tara’s boyfriend, but Tiffi isn’t Becky’s beta reader and they don’t have a spat partway through or anything of that sort.

EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)

Honestly, I think this is how all fanfiction should open. Just tell me straight-up what character you wanna bang before the story’s even started. Save us all some time.

love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

Aww. That’s kinda cute.

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!)

Yeah, Vickie, thank you. Looks like you’re doing a great job and you’ve got everything under control here.

i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Since this fic got “abandoned,” subsequent chapters have not actually been improved. Not that one can tell, anyway.

Altantiana

Yes, that is a typo of her OC’s name. Off to a great start.

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).

Virtually no one calls her Tiana during the course of the story. Just so you know. “Tiaa” isn’t a typo, either, though I have no idea why the author felt the need to add an extra A.

Notice the middle name? Subtle.

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!

This actually makes her a year younger than Bella, for the record.

My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist.

It’s pale and it’s pale? Also, gold and amber are not the same color.

My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight.

I’ve been complimented on my fentures before too, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.

I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story.

Well, gee, after that modest description of yourself I’m shocked that boys think you’re attractive, Tiaa. You sounded so plain and ordinary.

Am guessing that the girls who don’t tell a different story are gay.

They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

I hate when girls pick on me for being too ethereal.

Even though we’re using the “attractive character looks anorexic but isn’t” trope, and that’s obviously not so great, I guess it’s nice that Tiaa/Becky took the time to point out that the comparison is disrespectful to people who actually have anorexia or another eating disorder.

The bit about Ellie Mayfair is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I hope you guys all understand why I had to run this fic now.

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!

Ah, the “skinny yet improbably busty” body type. Strangely more common in fiction than in real life.

Tiaa totally does care who stares at her, by the way. As we’ll see shortly.

I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon.

I have no idea why we’re supposed to care about any of this, but I’m particularly unclear about why we should care what she smells like.

I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!

Tiaa’s specific music taste never comes up, to my recollection, but I’m betting My Chemical Romance is involved.

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family.

Yeah, Tiaa is adopted. This is sort of plot-important later on, but we never get to learn much about her life prior to Dave and Marie.

I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.

I mean… you just moved in with them.

My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him.

Foreshadowing!

Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall.

Presumably because she’s too ethereal.

I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it.

That could have something to do with why they’re staring.

I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak!

God I love this author’s writing style. Truly, no one has ever written like this, before or since. BeckyMac666 is one of the unsung geniuses of our time.

Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore!

Most of the rest of the story is about various people messing with Tiaa. For the record.

My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.

I’m a pretty big fan of the phrase “cloud-embittered,” although it is of course completely meaningless.

Hey, uh… why the hell hasn’t she gotten dress coded? I went to a private school and I guess our dress code was a bit stricter than most, but most high schools will get upset at teenage girls for not covering their knees and shoulders, let alone having any undergarments visible. Tiaa’s entire bra is showing through her fishnet top. This is a situation in which I think it’d be reasonable to ask her to change.

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life.

I don’t know why we’ve gone right back to (over)describing Tiaa, but I do think I should delete my entire OkCupid bio and replace it with this opening chapter.

Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl.

Could’ve fooled me!

I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it!

That’s nothing. I had a dream once where I explained the meaning of Nirvana lyrics to somebody (obviously not possible in real life), and I couldn’t remember my explanation when I woke up either.

I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color!

I’d like to remind you that this is set in the Twilight universe. It’s already got magical creatures, and there are rules established about their abilities, appearances, and behavior. Tiaa is clearly not quite human, but she doesn’t seem to be a vampire, a half-vampire, or a werewolf. She’s completely unique within her universe, for no defined reason, and the rules governing other nonhumans don’t apply to her.

Like, the physical description and the obvious homage to “My Immortal” already made it clear that this girl is a Mary Sue, but this author clearly gets that Sue status isn’t just about looking unreasonably pretty. It’s about defying the rules of canon. Tiaa’s outstanding at that, as you’ll see later on.

I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people.

God, what a sentence.

I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire.

Something like… bad writing?

The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!

There are so many bad fanfics where the prose is bare-bones, with few or no adjectives/adverbs and simple sentence structure. BeckyMac666 tends in the opposite direction, and it’s awesome. Everything is phrased as though it’s super dramatic, nonsense metaphors abound, and our author has clearly never met an adjective she didn’t like. Hey @ aspiring trollfic authors: take note. This is how you write an entertaining badfic.

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me.

Also a big fan of how Tiaa always talks about herself as though she’s checking herself out.

It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him.

Kind of like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one you sicko.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt!

Foreshadowing! Again!

A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken.

Straight-up one of the greatest similes I’ve ever seen. Like, I study English literature and I don’t think I’ve ever read a metaphor better than that one. I’m not joking, it’s brilliant.

She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low.

The modesty act might be a little more convincing if we hadn’t just read several paragraphs of Tiaa talking about how hot she is.

So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there.

Hey, what’s a “bald drug”? I go to a liberal arts college and I’ve watched the entirety of Breaking Bad multiple times, so you think I’d have heard of it.

As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine.

Musk is a substance some male animals secrete for scent-marking purposes. The word comes from the Sanskrit for “scrotum.” Thought you all should know.

I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class.

This bitch just hotboxed a locker room on her first day of school.

I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

Remember that this is the beta-read version of the chapter.

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)

So you know how self-insert characters, particularly Sues, often have self-proclaimed “anger issues”? I wanna talk about that, actually, because it’s a trope I see not only in fanfiction but in published fiction, and it honestly bugs me.

In real life, anger issues are a totally legitimate character flaw, and one that can have serious negative consequences in-universe. A character with a bad temper may make rash decisions, screw up their relationships with others, have trouble holding down a job, get in trouble with the law, and so on; people who have anger problems are often mentally ill and/or traumatized, too, and the anger may be just the tip of the iceberg. Many morally ambiguous characters, well-written ones, have trouble with anger. There’s nothing wrong with this trope when it’s executed correctly.

In the hands of a less-than-competent writer, however, anger issues are the opposite of a problem, because the character’s show of anger will invariably cause others to back down or apologize and there will be no negative consequences. Writing a character who’s so sweet and charming that they always get their way has exactly the same effect, but as that trope falls out of style “anger issues” has taken its place and the authors who write these characters have no idea that they’re doing the same thing as the trope they thought they were avoiding.

Of course, this is the work of a troll, and the use of this trope is almost certainly intentional, but there are way too many authors who employ it unironically as a way to give a “flaw” to a character that even they realize is bordering on unrealistic.

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady”

Author’s so fond of weird phrases that I have no idea whether or not “wet heaven” is intended as innuendo.

It was the hawt pale guy!

Dun dun dunnnn!

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

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thotclaws · 7 years ago

Text

Why I have a bit of respect for Laci Green.

Here on Tumblr. It’s not about equality of both sexes. It’s about superiority over men. I’m no longer a feminist because of how much I have seen the disgusting and horrid posts here on this site saying that if men are to do this, then men are disgusting and need to die.

For someone who’s an anti-feminist, and anti-sjw like me. I can understand why I hate someone like Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Lena Dunham, and Amy Schumer, but Laci Green? Huh?…well let’s explain a little bit on what’s wrong with feminism…everything. Everything is wrong with what feminism is today. Third wave feminism is all about patriarchy and pretending to be oppressed just to get pity points. In other words. I’m sharing this website with these heathens.

The reason why I hate these women is because of their views. It’s all so wrong in so many ways that feminists HATE facts and they HATE men. I’m afab and I know better than to not judge someone based on their sex, but political views? It’s always good for a debate.

The reason why I think Laci Green actually didn’t cry like a baby on Blaire White’s stream is because they found some sort of respect for each other. Even if Laci was interrupting her. She still at least let Blaire have her views. Even if they are wrong.

Now let’s look at Beyonce and why I hate her views. I think she is a poor musician that has to stay relevant for everyone and why she thinks that if a women is a slut, she is empowering women to just be sexy. Dude…no women want’s to dress skimpy or dress like a whore is because of their body. Women and men should never be shamed because of their body but also taking care of it at the same time. It makes me seem like Beyonce only speaks to sluts and it’s true in every way. I used to like her before her Destiny’s Child days, but now she HAS to make everyone like her. You don’t always have to please the public and celebrities need to understand that not everyone is going to like you. Including me. I dislike her for all these reasons.

Next is Swift. I despise her as a musician and as a person. She’s such a liar and a manipulator that she’d go through lengths to try to explain why she’s this and this. It’s like STFU YOU AREN’T miss perfect sunshine and rainbows. Swift is a massive hypocrite and terrible person. Her only source to stay relevant is her relationships with many men as possible. The rest is her music. It’s trash and repetitive AF. Yes I do think that she is a slut but for good reasons. If she is proud to sleep with as many men as she want’s then that’s all on her, not me to decide what’s good for her. Both sexes need to get their act together when it comes to relationships. No matter who it is you're with. Always have loyalty and honesty with each other and maybe…you’ll have a good life, but Swift takes it further and makes it her thing…is there like anything else that you could write about besides your relationships huh Taylor? Also saying that if anyone dislikes your music, you think that they hate females because of it? Really? Like seriously why? I’m done with her. She doesn’t need anymore attention. She’s a whore who pretends to be perfect when she needs to realize that no one likes her and that she needs to realize that no one wants to pay to see someone yap on and on about boyfriends. Men are not your toys to play with Taylor, Men have feelings to and if you ruin them, you ruin everything about them.

Dunham and Schumer need no introductions. They’re bad women and think that they're better than anyone else or that they don’t realize their mistakes and refuse to correct it. I’m also done with these two women.

Laci on the other hand. Isn’t an artist, she’s a journalist, sex educator and a LGBTQ+ activist. So WHY her? Why is she the one allowed to have an opinion when all these other women that I mentioned above better than Laci? The livestream is all I need to explain (Keep in mind that I was pissed but also this was written before the red pill; back to the main point.) There was a livestream with a sit down of Blaire White and Laci Green. Both of them are polar opposites and both of them have maybe found a middle ground, and I gotta say. If someone like Laci listens to other views and sides to theirs then that’s all the respect that I see. Yes I disagree with everything she has but she’s saying that if someone disagrees with her, then it’s not the end of the world for her. She still stands by with what she says and that’s really enough to make me think that she has at least some brains and some self respect. Even if she interrupted her and even if all her points are misleading. She has that right to disagree with someone, and she didn’t throw a temper tantrum at Blaire. That’s someone that I can at least look up to a little.

These woman that I list above are narcissists. They think they have a sort of special gift to give to the world, and that’s only being really hot…and that’s about it really. If your only talent is to be beautiful and have a weak voice, then you’ll get far as you slowly lose your soul. ANY celebrity that feels the need to be egotistical and self shallow is the reason why the entertainment industry is doing something that brainwashes the masses and feminism is one of them. For these feminists, third wave feminism is the reason why I HATE this site sometimes. They think that these women will do good for the world BECAUSE they’re women and that killing off white men will get the job done, and that’s just…horrible…horrible morals.

That and also why I’ve lost so much respect for J.K Rowling. I used to admire her, now I despise her as a person. She can create whatever the fuck she wants. Harry Potter or not, whatever she creates is her own business. I want to become a writer someday, and seeing her being looked up to was amazing. She told her story to everyone and we can relate to her, she was poor, she had a shitty life, and now…twitter and the Pewdiepie anti semitism. Pewdiepie is still my favorite YouTuber for good reasons. He’s honest finally and has no shortage of his entertainment. If you don’t like him, then that’s fine. I’ll still respect him as a person because he knows how it works. These women do not. Amy Schumer blames trolls for her reviews for her new stand up, Beyonce supports BLM but knows that black people are superior over whites and tumblr loves her for that, Taylor Swift is stuck in middle school, and Lena is a pedophile and terrible person.

WHY DOES TUMBLR STILL SUPPORT THESE WOMEN’S ACTIONS?!

But alsoooooooo.... :D

LACI TOOK THE RED PILL!

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT SHE DID! I JUST.... CAN’T AAAHHH!! :D :D

SEE! Why can’t these tumblr feminists take criticism without being a dick to everyone?! Why? Because victimhood. Tumblr is known for people trying to play the victim card and it pisses me off. That and to those that do suffer from something terrible, I feel ya, BUT I don’t support someone trying to censor someone because they disagreed with you. You can kindly disagree with someone, have evidence to back it up and you’re good to go.

However this is not the case for tumblr at all. When it comes to race, sexuality, living, society, and religion. It’s all about superiority on this website, and I fucking hate that about tumblr. YES! You are allowed to believe that gender is a spectrum while let others disagree with you politely. YES if someone is being an ass, just don’t be an ass back and try not to get pissed off. That’s what trolls want, and Laci always taken the bait and made a shit ton of bad videos explaining why she disagreed, and now that she has seen the error of her ways, tumblr should be listening to her and realizing that no one is going to always agree with you, and I’m super ok with someone thinking that gender is not a social construct. I’m perfectly ok with it because it’s not the end of the world for me.

Kindly disagreeing with someone isn’t hate, it’s just them expressing their experiences and research about certain topics. I do agree that there are racist black people or minorities. I do agree that gender equality shouldn’t be frowned upon in the middle east. I do agree that gender identity should be explored, so as sexuality and attraction. SJW’s on tumblr HATE it when you give them facts and it’s super upsetting. Now that Laci has taken the pill, I welcome her with open arms. I started following her on twitter, and I give her my thanks.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FEMINISTS. Listen to Laci. What she’s doing is opening her eyes and seeing the bigger picture. Anita Sarkeesian also take notes. Feminism should be about gender equality, not about superiority over which gender is better. That goes the same with sex, no sex is better than the other. That should go the same for tumblr. It is NOT hate when someone disagrees with you polity and thoroughly, disagreeing and being a bully is hate. Learn the difference! I do like Blaire White, but there is some subjects that I just can’t stand. She can be harsh but that’s who she is, she’s someone who can be a bit belligerent, but I know I have harsh criticism of her too. So that doesn’t mean I like her no less. Not everything is perfect and so as their views. She’s allowed to make her points and move on, tumblr people do have the right to be stupid.

So really YES. There are anti SJW channels that I just can’t stand either. Some just go as far as to make fun of someone's appearance, that goes the same for Milo Yiannopoulos. He’s someone I heavily disagree with, but there’s some points that he’s made that are right in some way. Like about feminism and SJW’s. Contrary to popular belief, all tumblr people like me have to be non binary just to get attention. I honestly don’t know where these people are coming from, but there are those that do desire as much attention as they need for their ego. Like the cuck Onision. I HATE him now. He doesn’t really make up a gender (I think) or some sexuality that doesn’t make sense, but hey. He’s just a pedophile no matter what right?

In conclusion to this long post, I have honestly been wanting to talk about this for a very long time, and it’s just the right time to say it. People disagree but not to be censored. That goes the same for actual bigots, actual fascists, and actual tumblrinas. The question remains, who are we to dictate how people think? That’s what free speech is and SJW, BLM, and Feminists all like to censor people because they disagree with them, and it’s fucking stupid. You can be an idiot but you must have brains when it comes to disagreements. For Laci Green, she now has a bit of my respect. I urge others to look at good anti SJW and SJW channels. Choice what you personally think, do your own research and make your own conclusions.

Bye bye! <3 Khara-Chan sighing out.

#Long rant but I don't care

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