#the data still exists
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Art is dead, and AI is dancing on, teabagging, and having an entire affair with its corpse simultaneously.
#shit i want immortalized#ill probably regret saying this in the future bcs it comes off as fuckin uh r/im14andthisisdeep#but i dont want it to be lost in the back of my mind just because it could be considered cringe#im also a hoarder /hj and ig that means internal thoughts i think are deep in the moment#this is now forever in tumblr's servers whether my blog is deleted or not#a fraction of me is now bits of code and binary#which is ironic because im not very binary :3#but like. digitial footprint is real and permanent for as long as the data on tumblr's servers keep existing#maybe even long after the components themselves are destroyed#the data still exists#im sure it could be extracted through some means even if its so heavily corrupted by time its barely decipherable#my dumbass getting deep in the tags#im 21 and this is deep LMAO
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i think one of the worst things about covid risk in recent years is the dropping of most real data kept about its risk and spread so it’s harder and harder to see what’s actually going on in the country and how to keep yourself safe. i think wastewater is the only real tracker of it these days and i’m always worried that one day they’ll just stop doing it to make the graphs look prettier -_- just this manufactured image of safety…
#txt#like it’s still a dangerous illness it ravages your body even when you’re vaccinated. it’s important for that data to exist
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Well I gave my roommate $100 today to get the internet back on but now they're saying they want another $200 to reactivate it despite it being their issue. The reason we didn't pay right away was because they fucked up and put us on the wrong plan. Told us it was $300 so we called and they said they'd fix our billing (cause out bill is suppose to be around $105 they never fixed it despite us yelling about it. Then they suspended our account and then my roommate called them this morning to get it sorted and they said "TwO hUnDrEaD t0 rEaCtIvATe" for a fuck up caused by you ass clowns??? Nice. (You as in the internet company)
#so i may be next to non existent for the next few days. discord still seems to work on my phone with data tho#so you can always chat me up there. tumblr is hardly functional cause I'm over my limit...#i dont get charged extra for going over BUT half the apps for online are inaccessible#because its like dial up but WORSE than dial up lol#so yeah just an update#please don't forget about me /srs i struggle with paranoia that ill just somehow come back to no friends ;^;
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being in the DS9 fandom, you'll discover there are so many ways for people to be wrong about julian bashir
#wow i don't like a lot of you#baffled at how a predominantly autistic fanbase can be so contemptful of autistic behaviour#buddies i think you're the ones who are cringe. see i cringe WITH julian not against him#and not even just that#theres the ''julian is stupid about everything that isn't medicine'' thing#fuck you that man is a starfleet officer and he's a genius. i saw him fix a console and i was genuinely surprised because of this shit#''julian is stupid'' ''julian is annoying'' ''julian is insufferable'' ''julian deserves to be bullied'' and so on and so forth#wow. i hate. all of you. and based on the way y'all talk? you guys would hate me too#oh and worst take of all. like on a moral level:#''julians parents were in the right for doing what they did. its natural for a parent to want to have a normal child''#and other such ableist takes. literally i have seen people like that#i saw somebody baffled by that ep being like ''what did julians parents do wrong. they helped him. what is julian upset about''#and holy shit. that is. so fucked up#besides all that. the way the fandom and the show is mean to julian pisses me off#Why Are His Friends So Mean To Him#i have this brain thing where i take criticism of julian bashir as a personal attack. its called autism#sometimes an autistic-coded character in star trek will say something the narrative has deemed as Wrong#and i can tell thats what im being told because i understand media language but im still baffled like ''Whats The Problem''#spock. data. seven. julian. and its like... actually guys its everybody else who is being weird and mean about this#i do find it a little sad knowing that if i existed on DS9 that o'brien and kira wouldn't like me. like damn. i like you guys#anyways i have a lot of the DS9 fandom blocked because they got me at risk of developing a wee chunk of self loathing. and i refuse#i wasnt raised to feel shame how dare you
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i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break
#//juri speaks#i also at this moment: do not know if i have health insurance anymore / if i will be able to get insurance#if i can't get insurance i will not be able to take classes this fall#if i can't take classes my loan repayments will kick in immediately#i already don't have enough money for anything and i certainly don't have a spare $150 a month for the government#at any rate i need to submit my tuition waiver Soon but i can't until i know if i can get into the second class#so i have to wait for the prof or my advisor to get back to me#all the while a funeral day draws nearer#and then AT work i still feel like my position doesn't need to exist#but i desperately need it to exist because i need the money#and this big mchuge data migration project we were SUPPOSED to have had done in JUNE is being pushed to the absolute last minute#not by us but by the folks in control of the software we're moving to#so we're not going to have any safety margins with the old software#it's going to be GONE and dead and unlicensed while we're trying to learn the new shit#and i'm going to have to deal with the other branch cataloger trying to do everything for us which Won't Help#and i need!!!!!! a break!!!!!!!!!! from everything!!!!!#i need the world to stop and i need to go sit in the desert for like 6 months#instead best i can do is go buy the new taz gn for a little crumb of escape. maybe a little coffee drink while i'm there#even though i've been hitting sugar hard lately and really do not have the funds to buy more clothes if i gain a few more lbs#and can't afford a walking pad/treadmill and don't want to go outside bc it is a billion degrees all day every day rn#uuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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if you ever feel bad about your reactions to things i need you to know i had and might technically still be having an emotional breakdown b/c icould not find a SATA cable. hashtag androgynefail
#dis.txt#i need to order more online i don’t. know where my big box is and unpacking made me feel worse#at this point if i can be honest i am worried i will never be well enough to have close friends#in the sense of people i can like. call and confide in or whatever#so accepting of the judgements of people that have taken advantage of me that i ambiently feel i am evil#so me being avoidant and isolating is the best thing if i can’t just Not exist. yes the data cable ties into this#i put my labor of love my thing i feel i am gifted at the thing people praise me for thw thing i am USEFUL for#into someone who mistreated me and now i feel pain because i know he’s not treating it well#like i hate being autistic b/c how do you not sound crazy talking about a gifted pc as if it was a beloved pet you had to leave with#a horrible person. i loved that thing and i built it and it feels lime he gets to hurt an extension of myself#holding my pc case and sobbing into the ground thinking abt all the time and money and joy he ruined and took from me#it’s about still unpacking over a year later. not finding the fucking cable because your brain can only remember where it was in the apt#it’s about the cable and the computer and it’s not#i wish i could trust other people and myself enough to push past this. i want to build and repair things for others#i want to have more silly calls. i want to do sappy shit like letters and sleep calls and gifts and whatever the fuck#but i’m insane and mean so it will never happen lolllllll
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#polls#hyperspecific poll#pluralgang#loud text -#1) i tried to make an arcade. it went so bad. cyclone is in every other major room. help#2) mags/whip/[REDACTED]/mako (technically)#3) bea's whereabouts are still currently unknown but she DOES exist bc she played goatlings last year#4) ralph/julian's beef is incomprehensible but so. so funny#5) OW MY FUCKING WIENOR -homestar voice#6) [REDACTED] you're my bestie and all but lighten up man#7) [DATA EXPUNGED] is cool and also nothing like the person he identifies with but also get better taste in music plz#8) im sure the map is still somewhere i just have a lot of key locations & no idea how theyre connected#you ever teleport in your headspace bc walking is lame
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also sorry to double post but i'm going to be thinking about this rewatch for a while now lmao
i know there are a lot of resources that talk about the differences between the sub and dub but i'm kind of losing my mind at how much better the build up felt for apocalymon in the sub?
like specifically that's the thing that's been sticking with me among all the other little differences here and there
i don't remember anything in the dub about distortions being a rampant issue, for instance, but they're mentioned frequently around the etemon arc (and actually i have to wonder if the dark network core was intended to be an extension of apocalymon past the wall of fire)
it's explicitly told in the sub that the dark masters even used the distortions to rise to power in the way they did, reformatting the world in the process
and like i know the ruins on file island (which prophesize apocalymon's return) are commented on during that first arc, but also, that's in both sub and dub. the whole distortion thread doesn't make it into the dub at all from my recollection
and then at the end explaining that the fairy time shit (1 mn IRL = 1 day in the digital world) as consequential of apocalymon!!!
i remember when i first watched 02 i was so confused as to how that fairy time 1 mn / 1 day thing was just gone!! that's part of what always bothered me when watching 02, because it felt like such a blatant ignoring of pre-established canon and the explanation in-dub never felt right (idr if they even explained it)
ourgh anyways
sub apocalymon may not be making jokes about their existential crisis of an existence but i still wanna give the damn mon(s?) a pizza
poor thing deserves it
#sky talks#digimon#digimon adventure#even with the very defanged version of apocalymon in the dub as a kid i always pitied them#wondering if there couldn't have been a kind end for them#and honestly even now thinking about post 01 materials like tri like#idk a huge them of digimon is reincarnation and when you have a digital entity that betrays that cycle#that is essentially disbarred until tri when its data recycles into another digimon#why *isn't* apocalymon allowed a happy ending?#it's a creature made of the resentment of death#being left behind in a world that has this idea baked in that all things will achieve life again#that contrast is going to be something i think about for a long time#it was certainly a choice to design a digimon whose existence is the failure of a system promising eternal reincarnation#idk i'm kind of just rambling#apocalymon is fascinating to me#even the fact that it's implied that apocalymon still returns again and again despite their losing to chosen children before#it was denied proper reincarnation and instead found it in an even crueler way that demands it play the villain
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do people in the sonic fandom who aren’t nerds know that eggman is probably czech (which makes sense bc the modern concept of robots was originated by a czech writer and it’s a czech word) or was baby me just really weird
#like. ivo is obviously a reference to egg but it’s also literally just a name. that exists.#and again robot as a term literally comes from czech#though itd be a fucking weird thing to have in a surname bc it basically means slave to simplify history A Lot#i was a nerd at like. ten. though I still am I guess#I mean I did look at demographic data from two seperate remote islands to determine that sonic was malay#but I kinda assumed everyone knew about eggman being czech lol
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Liios: *went into the Void with his voidsent in a ball* Does it look like this where you came from, Maires? ^w^
Estinien whose last encounter with said voidsent was when it combined with Liios into some spooky Enshrouded abomination in a fight against an even worse voidsent abomination that was Liios and Ptolemy's "mother" deep in a snowy cave north of Garlemald:
#estinien was like i thought it was gone.....#liios: oh well he was very small. only his soul was left and no aether but by the power of our pact i was able to keep him around#basically his voidsent lived in the fish tank that was the accompaniment node#doin nothing but crunching data and play eorzean bejeweled all day. it was a peaceful existence#estinien: can we go back 2 the part where the devil you made a pact with is still around or.......#(no.)#liios suvali
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not a techbro or a tech lover but a secret third thing (tech hater)
#sorry i don't like AI i don't like touchscreens i don't like how everything's done on mobile i don't like data science#i do not find a single tech trend interesting i sit in my boring hole and look at cybersecurity and systems#u ask me about chatgpt and i shrug and walk away#computer science majors who hate tech yes we exist#i picked the wrong major on god#and yet.... i still want to take more classes than required for my program...#oTL
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I'm wanting to play Obey Me again. Sigh......
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#I do keep forgetting Nightbringer or whatever exists#but like idk I still have a chance to restore my data ong the original Obey Me if I can get my old device#which I believe we still have..#It's just that my sister has it#I just don't wanna lose all the UR cards I have a by bday Diavolo cards
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i know this is very insignificant in comparison to bigger issues, but i lost my favorite cardigan today, & it was one of my favorite clothes in general...It does linger. It does suck
#i got it in a thrift store and absolutely nothing compares. nothing compares to how good it was. not even close#i didnt get to check every place i was in today so ill go tommorow. maybe it'll be somewhere. i really hope...i really do...#but nothing ive ever lost in this city that didnt have my data on it was found. despite lost&found places and some facebook groups existing#which makes me feel very pessimistic but god i hope im wrong.#the only way i could get even close to replacing it would be via ordering a custom one. which. i mean come on.#i *would* be willing to put more money than reasonable into it but i *still* have my limits and theyd probably be crossed#w/ how expensive a handmade crocheted piece would be
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phew shit, no news is good news, no fucking crunch this year for pokemon mainline wise.
but! I'm actually really happy about the trading card mobile thing, because I'm one of those guys who like. would play but i don't wanna inevitably ruin my scattered, binderless cards-
#ooc.#pokemon direct spoilers#pokemon spoilers#idk how to feel about the rest of most of it besides being unhappy that unite still exists lmao. but that's an ethics thing-#there's also a better chance that no pokemon game is coming out before my top surgery so. yaaay#that said? i wouldn't be surprised if we got more johto content Later. idk feels like they Know but can't show anything if that makes sense#but also the way they been stealth-dropping shit these days cause social media. i don't blame em#so if we get more news this year i won't be surprised tbh. so much data has been leaked lmfaooo old and new
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okay so i'm done working myself up about retcons but if you want to keep being mad then go hang out with chi at @communistmarktemple because as you can imagine hes very mad about not existing anymore
#i for one think its the only thing this all has done right#if only i could retcon him out of MY existence#(for those just joining: chi is one of my alters. also hes an asshole.)#but also temple definitely still exists. the shit that happened in desert gulch was in the past. why would epsilon make up new guys.#he would just. have the memories of temple existing. he has the data.#BUT temple being epsilon's oc is so funny. its so funny.
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...
#ugh. i dont kno what to do. im about to reap what ive sown bc Tomorrow is the start of the 1st real week of class#and i have cell mechanics and biochem tomorrow and i can already tell the class is gonna b a lot#like it would b one thing if we were just reading and discussing papers but there r summary assignments and exams#and like u dont understand what it takes for me a read a paper. it takes so much pain. and this class is centered around eukaryotes#and i study prokaryotes so like its not really that relavent to me but like i didnt kno what else to take#everyone does eukaryotic stuff. general genetics was full. the microbial evolution class conflics with another class#and everyone tells me ill know everything anyway but im not sure thats true. and if it is i think it would still b fun#so idk. i could drop the class and pick up extra hours for research instead. like use the time to read relevant papers#its sorta hard bc i already have a masters so its like where do u put me? not in stats. i kno how to do a lot of things so idk#i think i saw a plant evolution class. if i wasnt intimidated by the teacher and ever took botany maybe i would go for it#but so it goes. idk. im meeting my advisor on Tuesday morning so maybe ill bounch ideas off of him#and like i kno it sounds like im being a bitch over having to take 2 3hr classes but ive got to ta and do research and somehow find time#to work on my existing data. so like i could justify only taking the one 3hr class i think#ugh. i just wish i could read. and i wish i could sleep#maybe the class tomorrow wont b so bad. or maybe it will. idk i just really wanna take the microbio course#my eyes r all swollen from crying. bleh. i was not designed for this. for reading#unrelated
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