#the dadlands

[herbgerblin]

Yes, they did play cornhole on the stage for dadlands 2 and yes, griffin did have jump up and down to land one of the beanbags

Transcript below:

Brennan: We’re going from “That’s my boy.”

Clint: From “that’s my boy.” He arches…he shoots…. *Griffin throws the beanbag. It gets stuck right beside the hole. The crowd groans.*

Travis: the corner is over hanging! *Griffin attempts to jump to loosen the beanbag*

Justin: Jump Griffin! Jump! *Griffin begins to jump more aggressively. The crowd yells encouragingly.* Come on, Griffin you can do this!

Clint: He is jumping up and down. *Griffin stomps the stage and swings his arms.*

Travis: Wait, remember your back! *More yelling. The bean bag falls in.*

Clint: Aaaaaannnnd IT’S IN! *The audience cheers. Griffin throws down his hat.*

[the-southern-cereal-king]

Dadlands is going to do much wilder now that brennan has achieved dadhood

[mooselybased]

So I wanted to draw a lil' something in celebration of The Adventure Zone hitting ten years old this year! Which turned into me drawing a pretty big something featuring (almost) every player character from (almost) every campaign from these past ten years.

So here's to Adventure Zone Balance, Amnesty, Commitment, Dust, Graduation, Hootenanny, Ethersea, Dadlands, Steeplechase, Versus Dracula, and everything that's still to come!

[blindmagdalena]

what would homelander’s reaction to his wife being pregnant with twins?

"Holy cow! Talk about buy one, get one free. That's what you get with quality swimmers. Hear that, little guys? You tied at the big race! Congrats!"

"You know, it could be my egg that split into two."

"Uh, babe? Having a private conversation with the boys here. Thanks."

He's got a huge grin the whole time. Good luck being so outnumbered by him and his mini's.

[daughterslaughterer]

I need more fics with Homelander acting like a grumpy dad. Groaning when he sits down, mumbling about the news, not understanding new trends/Gen Z slang as a whole. Like, yes he’s a terrifying character but I need him acting his age.

[sehtoast]

Dadlanders toddler with you/reader asking as they get bathed:

"Daddy/Mommy, am I part shark?"

You/reader is super confused yet amused as you ask them why they ask, and they reply:

"Because daddy looks like a shark when he smiles."

You chuckle at how cute they are, then laugh louder when you hear something crash to the floor, knowing it's hubby Homelander that fumbled with something when he was ease dropping in the next room.

You're welcome- 👻

STOOOOOOOOOP 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS MADE ME GIGGLE AND KICK MY FEET ADLKJGH

him just walking in and, "i sure am a shark! what, you think they made my suit blue for no reason? i gotta look the part!"

and then every shark related object becomes "just like daddy." 😭😭😭

imagine getting him father's day cards and the little one draws a bunch of sharks on it.

dadlander signing his name by drawing a shark of his own on birthday cards for the kiddo. sharks just becoming a theme and a little symbol of love and family

i'm going to BURST THERE'S JUST SO MUCH CUTE OPPORTUNITY HERE

[annetess]

Just him and his most beloved person in the whole world

[sarcasm-bandz]

From tonight’s dadlands: Clint McElroy making the shot of the century???????

[themeraldee]

Imagine reader falling out of bed all the time, and still continuing to sleep on floor like they just got thrown off roof, drooling. And Homelander just. Stares at them blankly before sighing and picking them up back to bed.

Exhausted dad core is my fave flavour of dadlander. (Not that that's what this ask his but it immediately made me think of the scene where he's tidying up Ryan's mess, like sigh I guess I gotta do this.)

So fed up with your antics that he sighs, stares blankly at your passed out form on the floor before he picks you back up. Like that's so funny to me. I'm tying this together with the clumsy SO ask because it's totally the same person.

So obviously he has to keep you close at all time. You're not allowed to sleep unless he's got his arms wrapped tight around you. Nope you don't get to protest. Would you rather be smothered or dealing with a concussion, exactly, that's what I thought.

And don't even THINK about stepping out on the balcony without him being there. (I swear he'd have to get those pet cams around his apartment just in case you're causing a fire or dying bcs of whatever ridiculous scenario now.)

[gusdeservedbetter]

Homelander & Ryan

Before episode 5, I didn't buy that revisiting his childhood trauma(s) would do anything for Homelander, and I thought the point would be to show that nothing will change BUT!! Color me surprised! and pleasantly so, bc imo Homelander has reached such a stage of not giving a fuck it's INSANE, like in the scenes when he's not with Ryan, I see him as this husk, completely empty, half heartedly talking about plans with the Seven & co, he doesn't care anymore it's terrifying, he's just going through the motions expected of him in those scenes.

With Ryan however, he's just hanging out, talking, yk, encouraging his son to indirectly slap some sense into creepy movie directors , which btw, Ironic and excellent way to show both: Ryan's awareness of the concept of a women's consent, AND Homelander's hypocrisy, which will all come to head when Ryan learns of the brutal way he was conceived. Funnily enough, this is what I imagined the dynamic of Ryan and Homelander to be before the first episodes of this season: just them hanging out, laughing at those "lesser than them". And I prefer it like this, a slow build towards it, not just going from Ryan's nervous energy facing his dad to "hahaha that was so fun *smugly sips milkshake*". THIS is better, I actually buy that these two silly idiots spent 6 months together or so, bc even the argument from ep3 isn't made into this big dramatic thing, yes it pushes Homelander into action and it upset both of them but it's also resolved in a simple way, just them talking, walking yk. I honestly think the Black Amex and Jaguar keys were sort of an apology from Homelander? Because ofc he'll never come out straight to say it lmao

and the "You're the only one whose opinion I care about"?? "For all I'm concerned you're the only one on this planet" ?? HOOOO BOY, we say it's over for Homelander every other episode. But I honestly think this is it, and it's so bad I can't even choose an option, will it be worse if Ryan turns on him, or dies?

[starstruckodysseys]

relistening to dadlands ep1 and realizing d20 had been going on for hardly a year when it was released?? not even a year when the show happened?? like obv brennan’s dming is still incredible and everything it’s just like. hello?? time is not a concept to me

[mcelroyfamilystaff]

Cornhole for your soul.

[pacentia]

Pairing: female human!reader x Homelander

Setting: somewhere post season 3

Synopsis: just a lil drabble about providing John the home and the family that he so desperately craved.

Tags: nsfw cause it's Homelander, sweetness, intimacy, love, Homelander has his kids, Homelander relaxes for once

Note: my boyfriend made me watch The Boys. Little did he know I was going to develop a pathological crush on a broken homicidal maniac ❤️

“Daddy, look!”

It was a simple word that John was never going to take for granted. A word that his super-hearing could pick out of a thousand voices from miles away. If any -fucking- one would ever dare lay a hand on his beautiful and pure daughter - John swore he was going to -

“John, get out of your head.” You smiled at your lover, America’s most powerful superhero, the man that you called your husband. He lounged on the patio of your spacious mansion in Long Island, American flag waving in the wind, overlooking the big green gated garden in which your baby girl Jane was playing and running around. At last, he was finally enjoying a day off from all of those idiot cocksuckers at Vought, his words.

John’s stoic face snapped into a broad smile, accompanied by a million micro-expressions when you joined from the kitchen, bringing freshly baked chocolate cookies into the scene. Honest to God, he had everything that his pained heart missed in front of him: a perfect wife, his son Ryan, and his baby Jane. The young girl’s eyes widened, and she ran like a speedster to the source of the smell.

“When your daughter asks you to look, you better look.” You grinned, placing a soft kiss on his unruly blond locks, taking a bite from one of your cookies. John grinned to himself, and reached out his strong arms to his daughter, inviting the girl in his arms. She didn’t hesitate to jump right in his lap. “Here, a flower for daddy.” Jane giggled, placing a pink flower in his blonde hair.

The combination of a pink flower decorating his hair, and the violent background that he possessed was quite a hilarious contrast. The Supe didn’t give two fucks about that, he’d let his daughter put a whole fucking flower crown on his head. Anything she wanted was law. Your children were incredibly spoiled, because John wanted everything for them that he’d never got to experience. He had a rocky start with Ryan, but John had learned patience in time, much against his own nature.

You weren’t related to Ryan in any way, but you knew what had happened 5 years ago when he first released his heat gaze. He went through traumatic stuff, and you were always there to comfort him. His dad taught him how to harness his growing powers over the years, but he was too shy to get introduced to the Seven and Vought and all that shit. Vought was a huge fan in pushing Ryan to follow in Homelander’s footsteps, to become the next commander of the Seven. However, John quickly realized that his son expressed little interest, so he zapped that idea down (much to his own pain).

To the outside world, Homelander was still the same heroic figure. To Vought, he was the same nightmare to deal with.

But you loved him.

All of him. All of his insecurities, his simultaneous God complex, his devious desires and his bloodlust. He was convinced that his kind was the master race, but you, a mere human, held a special place in his heart. You were his darling girl that was able to give him a home, and accepted him for the fucked up man that he was. He had already incinerated and executed people for you. It’s a way he showed his devotion to you.

And he’d do anything to keep that little princess in his arms safe, no matter the cost. Same with Ryan, and with you.

[mooselybased]

And there we have it, all thirty fighters from our hypothetical Adventure Zone platform fighter. I've loved making these, and may return to add some "DLC" at some point (gotta get the Steeplechase player characters, right?), but for now we're gonna leave it here.

12 Balance reps, 6 Amnesty reps, 5 Graduation reps, 4 Ethersea reps, and one each from Dust, Commitment, and Dadlands. Let me know who you'd main, what you'd like to see as hypothetical DLC for this hypothetical game, or any other thoughts!

Links to individual movesets under the cut, and I'll see y'all next time!

Magnus Burnsides | Taako | Merle Highchurch | Killian & Carey | Kravitz | Lup

Lucas Miller | Barry Bluejeans | Klarg | Roswell | Lucretia | Garfield the Deals Warlock

Duck Newton | Aubrey Little | Ned Chicane | Minerva | Mama | Arlo Thacker

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt | Argo Keene | The Firbolg | Demon Prince Gray | Rainer Michelle | | Augustus Parsons

Amber Gris | Zoox | Devo la Main | Urchin | Kardala | Dad Squad

[blindmagdalena]

S/o teaching Ryan cuss words, not knowing Homelander is LITERALLY hearing everything , in a meeting?

Tapping his index finger on the armrest of his chair, Homelander's patience thins the longer this meeting drags on.

He's never left you alone with Ryan before, and while he's not concerned per se, he is maybe a touch... irritated. Not for anything either of you did, but for the hyperawareness of what he knows he's missing out on. Laughter, bonding, that sweet sense of familial comfort.

It's only just begun to take shape between the three of you, and it needles him to not be a part of it. What if the two of you watch a movie he hasn't seen, and it's all the two of you want to talk about over dinner?

Attention drifting, he unconsciously begins tuning towards the sound of Ryan's voice. The two of your aren't far, with his suite just several floors above the conference room. He should be able to hear what the two of you are— "You're fucked!" Ryan declares proudly. Homelander visibly jerks, startling the woman sitting to his left, though no one makes mention of it.

"Yes! 'You're fucked' turns 'fuck' into an adjective. Good job!" You praise. He can hear the broad smile in your voice. "Now, can you give me an example of 'fuck' as a noun?"

There's a pause before Ryan tentatively answers, "Like fuck I'm going to bed?"

The distinct clap of a high-five rings in his ears.

"Yes! That's right!" You say, followed by the both of you falling into laughter.

Homelander's incredulous look shifts slowly into a smile that's equal parts disbelief and delight.

You're fucking kidding me.

A usage that makes 'fuck' an adverb, by the way. He's looking forward to surprising you by sharing that little tidbit when he gets home.

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty. Ch. 1

A Homelander X F!Reader fanfic

A/N: I am writing this alongside another fic so sorry for the publishing schedule altho I got 2 chapters done, this is my dadlander fic and hyperfixation explorations

Sypnosis: Homelander never wanted to remember you again, but after welcoming Ryan into his life, he thought of you, and the lie that tore you two apart, but now... thinking back, thinking of your betrayal-- was he perhaps wrong about who the father of your unborn child was? Did you perhaps told the truth all those years ago? That it was his.

Tags: mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, OC characthers, child neglect, dadlander, romance.

Chapter One

Blue

It had been by pure chance, whether it had been a combination of forced reminiscing and exhaustion that Homelander had thought of you after all these years; These meetings had been proven wasteful of his time, nothing the PR and Digital Marketing departments could come up that was good enough, and somehow he had gone from irritated to just defeated.

He sulked in his chair listening to their meandering voices brainstorming potential ideas as to how Ryan’s new origin story had to be developed and handled, whether it was too squeaky clean or absurd, how much could they risk offending the child, how much of his mother should be kept from the public (not that they were very aware of the fine details, as Homelander had been more than just vague about it, he had simply no intent to divulge about his son’s conception, upbringing or his mother’s fate) Homelander would never allowed the public to look with pity or fear at his son, he would not allow them to brand him as a murdered over an accident– he could still hear his son weeping and shaking in his sleep, waking up in a fright, seeing invisible blood in his hands.

Homelander had grown overprotective of the boy, he was made indestructible but his mind and heart were glass, still pure and uncorrupted by the awful world they inhabited, he would never allow anything else to taint it and bring him nightmares– so this had to be perfect.  

To make it worse, the kid was growing impatient and depressed, forced to stay in the tower until this story was concocted, he couldn’t attend school or interact with other children until he was trained and learned his lines, making his father increasingly more paranoid that his son was slowly growing resentful. 

“Mister Homelander… what if we base Ryan’s mom off one of your other ex-girlfriends?” A rather tired intern had muttered– preferably somebody dead…”

The room shot daggers at the nameless intern but Homelander simply sat in silence and gave it a thought, he had plenty of unsuited mates disposed and handled in the past, the amount of NDA issued made for a small but noticeable stack alone, he looked at the table and the box of cannolis that the group had been munching on, looking at the small printed italian flag on the box’s side.

That he thought of you for the first time in years.

You had been his new personal chef, your interactions minimal as you brought him his meals, he hadn’t known at first how heartbroken you’d look as he returned half touched dishes over and over, it had become a competition against yourself to make him eat, every leftover morself a cause of grief, as if your honor and ego had been beaten mercilessly with every dirty plate.

One evening, Homelander sat on his couch watching a documentary by Orson Wells, he hadn’t noticed you there as you brought him dinner, the way you looked at him with spite waiting to throw the most likely untouched plate of pasta back at his face, it would get you fired and possibly killed but you couldn’t take it anymore. You were a chef, a professional, you had turned down a dream job and left the restaurant you loved for the honor of being Homelander’s personal chef, the job that would open you a thousand doors but it was without reward now it felt like your biggest mistake, no matter what you made he fucking hate it but offered no feedback, you had no clue what he wanted, what he disliked and liked, what he craved, or how he liked his meals– he simply left your food untouched.

Diverting his gaze from the film, he noted your food and that you were still there with a block of pecorino and a grater in your hands.

He stood up with a groan, lifting the silver cover to reveal boring pasta and bolognese sauce, it wasn’t styled exceptionally, it didn’t even look too appetizing, it was just some fresh linguine covered in meat sauce, he stared at you as if this was some sort of joke but your dead eyed expression was off-putting.

“Would you like some fresh cheese, sir?” Your voice might as well have been automated.

Frankly he didn’t want any cheese but pasta had to be eaten with cheese, he gestured for you to grate watching an off-white pile form on top of his pasta with no intention of stopping.

“That’s enough” he said sharply, he took the plate looking at the mound and then back at you who was still in the room, he wrapped his fork with the pasta doing his best not to stain his suit.

You just wanted to save the time with coming back to pick up the insults, but there he took the first bite of this homely dish heis eyes opened up, there hadn’t been anything special, you simply had taken some left over pasta and brought a jar of your grandma’s sauce, a recipe she had guarded fiercely ever since she stole it from some italian friend’s mom many many years ago, you adored this recipe, it had been the reason why you fell in love with food, you loved visiting your grandmother when it was time to jar the sauce, and when she served you a humbled serving of bolognese– he gave it a second bite letting the tangy and fresh sauce wash over him.

And that’s when he finally noticed you for real, how closely you watched him eat, smiling as he took another mouthful and mixed more of the fresh pecorino, there had been something warm about this meal, it lack pretense, it was something that no high end 5-star restaurant would serve but it tasted… warm.

From that point on, he looked forward to his meals, wanting to see what the fuck had you done to make food taste worthy of his body, noting you would personally deliver the meals after he failed to clean the plate on the previous one, he hadn’t even known your name but he noticed you.

You were cute, your voice had gained some warmth since that awkward first impression, he could tell it was these homemade meals that tasted the best, as if you put everything you had to make them taste delicious, there were no frills with these, just good homemade fair, made with love, he had began asking for things he had been curious but never served as if they were above his status like meatloaf, carbonara, shepherd's pie, etcetera. These were the kinds of meals the families he’d seen growing up behind the screen would eat, he had been the first to strike a conversation.

You listened, you talked, and before he knew it, he had found himself asking for your company at the dinner table. You were hesitant at first but he was handsome and charming, but above all he was the Homelander! While apprehensive you still took to his offer just to smugly enjoy seeing him enjoy your food, proud that you had triumph in this battle where so many had been defeated, you’d cracked the code and god it felt good.

It became part of your weekly schedule, having dinner at his penthouse and chatting about anything, he loved talking and eventually it became apparent that it wasn’t because he was in loved with his voice but simply… he hadn’t got anybody who enjoyed listening to him, you were attentive, you responded well and even if you weren’t sure about something you weren’t going to let him feel as if you weren’t approachable anymore, you were more than happy to hear him explain to you a topic because his eyes gleam like those of a small kid telling you about something new they learned at school– in truth you loved how happy he became when he could rambled about things, as if nobody in the world had ever given five seconds of their time to let him talk about strange events from history and his theories, tonite he wanted to talk about the Dyatlov Pass incident and star formations that he was sad that he couldn’t see from New York, wishing you could see how the sky looked like from his cabin.

You’d spend more and more time in his home as the conversations grew more frequent, as he wanted to hear more about your interests and hobbies.

Thinking of how cute you looked while baking, how cute your laugh was, of the way you always held him after long days, that first real date, that first time you held hands, the first shy kiss after dinner.

As he took a long whiff to catch some of that gentle sweetness, he thought of the last day you were together.

That sound.

The thing that’s the size of a bean.

The anger, his heart shattered, all the colors of the world had dissipated when he saw that tumor growing in your stomach, he wanted to hurt you as much as you did, to shut you up as you threw excuses, begging him to believe you.

But that thing wasn’t his.

It couldn’t be his.

You said it was his, that the baby you didn’t even know was inside you was his, but he couldn’t be the father.

His eyes widened, he stood up and left the room, his mind focused on your name. They had tried getting his attention but could only give up as nobody would dare to chase after him, Homelander found himself entering the analytics offices towards the first chump he spotted.

“Can you find me information on a former employee?” He said firmly, the junior staff jumped at his seat nodding frantically– their name was Y/N L/N.” he said quietly.

The staffer didn’t have to do much work, you were easy to find, your name attached to Brooklyn’s most loved pizzeria for the last couple years, your face on their socials, and even a video from some food channel following what it was like working in Brooklyn’s hottest pizzeria had you in it, your shop had been listed as the best two years in a row, Homelander couldn’t bare looking at your face, but he asked for an address.

That night after spending time with Ryan who seemed to be sulking more and more, as he watched him eat his dinner, he thought of you, the kid was meandering whatever was on his plate didn’t feel appetizing, his meal was no different from what it was served in a high-end restaurant and the kid had no desire to eat it, he wanted Ryan to have the finest things when all he wanted was to have his mom’s tacos– his son opted to head for bed early skipping dinner all together, it was almost 10 pm, a heavy feeling had been boiling in his stomach since that meeting.

Taking flight all the way to some red brick Brooklyn projects, hovering about until he encountered you.

Time had been kind to you but you looked tired, the glow in your skin now dulled, your appearance unkempt, your clothes worn and old, your shoes the nicest thing you worn but they still creased and dirty, you looked beyond exhausted, your eyes half closed and your arms dangling on your sides as you carried a couple grocery bags, he looked around at the constructions and rubbish, at the hooligans and wannabe gangbangers, and the rancid smell. Hundred buildings all the same, he wanted to get closer as he watched you walk alone in those sticky white painted brick walls, you stopped suddenly by one of the brown doors, there were only four other doors in that floor, waiting patiently, an old lady opens the door, you two exchanging pleasantries as you handed the lady two of your grocery bags, a small dog came to say hello and then… there she was.

She was small for her age, she didn’t jump with excitement or say much to you, just a slight bow to the old lady and she walked in front of you as you said goodbye, only stopping two doors down.

Your apartment was small, two small bedrooms, small kitchen and barely sparsely decorated, but it was clean and tidy, your daughter dropped her school bag, and headed for the bedroom while you moved to the kitchen, never really talking to each other, he found himself flying closer just to get a perfect vision of that child.

She was a mini-you, taken so much from you, whoever the father was it didn’t seem to have mattered in the end for the kid got nothing from him, she changed to her pajamas as you sat on the couch after throwing away your uniform to the floor.

You two talked briefly, you didn’t read her any stories before bed or kissed her good night, you simply stared at each other and talked while you stretched your feet.

The little girl entered her room, a tidy space, books piled up on the floor in sharp stacks against the wall, a desk containing some electronics and a couple stuffed animals.

She was a cute thing, just like you had been once, her hair short and her straight bangs covering most of her face, too long for it too be safe, she had your complexion and jet black hair, she sat on her desk turning the desk lamp and picked her Kindle up, looking at her clock then back at her Kindle, she sat there for a couple minutes digesting some pages until it was almost midnight, before heading to the living room– you’d passed out on the couch, she took your phone and put it to charge fidgeting with something before leaving it, turning the TV off, and finally turning around to slip a quilt on top of her mother.

Homelander almost felt sorry for the kid, after all you had done to him only to neglect your child, you were just as much of a scumbag as he had imagined, he had had enough wanting to fly away until he saw the little girl staring back at him.

The lights were off on the home, and it was dark with the streets below shaded piss yellow, he looked around wondering if there was something nearby that caught your daughter’s attention but she was staring straight at Homelander, she forced the window open peeking her small frame slightly out the window, in the dark starless night while strangers made a ruckus a couple streets from here, a bright twinkling of pale blue illuminated your home.

He got closer, something caught in his throat as he came only a meter away from your daughter.

She looked so much like you but her eyes even as they lost their unnatural light were so blue, as if the entire ocean lived in her eyes.

The curtains slid shut, his chin flicked in surprise as he caught the small figure plainly ignoring him, he was loved by all, especially children! Even those whose favorites were Noir, A-Train or Maeve loved him! Yet this little girl had just shrugged him off and ignored him, simply returning to her bedroom to shut the second set of blinds and jump straight to bed.

Homelander was left dumbfounded, not once had he seen such disinterest and callousness from a member of his safest demographic, so he stood in mid-air pondering about killing both of you briefly, just as the heat from his cheeks cooled down, he stared at the now sleeping brat, wondering about that inhuman blue light that glossed her big round eyes.