#the crew. went beyond my wildest dreams

[darkwingdukat]

OFMD s2 took every twisted fanfic idea @alexsrousseau and I had about what Ed and Izzy's dynamic would look like post-Stede and just *made them 10x worse*

[thecheshirehouse]

I'm Dreaming of a Cheshire Easter

by Molly Warton

The Cheshire Cat grinned an inane kind of a grin. He had a large variety of grins, which he would use on various special occasions, and this was a particularly inane sort of a grin, for he had Guests. He was spread on a sort of regal russian rug, carefully embroidered with all sorts of different patterns zig-zagging across each other, arguing over which one ought to be on the top, and this had been thrown carelessly upon a windowsill that looked for all the world like it was trying to escape into the spring-time country outside. The lambs gambolled in the fields, as lambs are apt to do; the daffodils swayed in the fields, as daffodils are apt to do; and the politicians walked around kicking puppies in the fields, as politicians are apt to do. 

The Cheshire Cat sat on a Cheshire Rug in his Cheshire House dreaming Cheshire dreams of days long past — and feeling very grateful that he wasn’t the Merseyside Cat, as Cheshire was a much better name. He suddenly remembered about the Guest, and grinned a little wider — in a vapid sort of manner, that being how he grinned. 

“Hello,” you said, poking your head round the Cheshire Door and looking into the Cheshire House, “I don’t suppose you have such a thing as a story about you, by any chance?”

When he saw you arrive, he frisked his tail in such a very frisky sort of a manner that you thought it a most frisky tail indeed. “Well,” said the Cat, “I may well do, but then again, I may not. You never can tell with stories. Except, of course, when you can.” 

By this point, of course, you were feeling a little confused, and said so. 

“Oh dear,” you said, “I’m feeling a little confused.” 

“There’s no need to repeat yourself,” said the Cat, good-naturedly. 

“But I didn’t repeat myself!” you said, rather indignantly. 

“Indeed you did,” said the Cat, “Once in your head, and once out loud.”

“But if I didn’t say it out loud,” you said, “you wouldn’t know what I had said.” 

“Ah,” said the Cat, “but if you only said it out loud, then I should.” 

Well, you weren’t quite sure what to say to that, so you said:

“How about that story?” 

“How about that story?” asked the Cat. 

“Well, would you very kindly mind telling it?” 

“There are many stories,” said the Cat enigmatically, “within my Cheshire House. Won’t you come in and see?” So you did. You came in, and you looked, and you saw, and there were all the stories, hanging there suspended in space like brilliant, glittering jewels, shining, sparkling in the morning light, and in you came, you weary traveller from parts unknown, and you took the chocolate egg that the Cat had very kindly passed you, and the stories you saw! Stories of Archons and Abraytha and Everywhere, of Lotto and Lords and Luca, of SAM and Shamblers and Zadellin, of worlds beyond your wildest dreams, and in you went, into a whole new world of adventure.

And the Cheshire Cat faded away behind you just as if he had never been there.

The Shamblers from the Stars were created by Robert Bloch and are now in the public domain.

The Cheshire Cat was created by Lewis Carroll and is now in the public domain.

Lotto, Luca, SAM © Elodie Christian

Abraytha Janus Colefia © Ostara Gale

The Zadellin crew © Theta Mandel

Archons © Aristide Twain

[phoenix-darkmoon]

Beyond Eternity Chapter 1

after playing and being unsatisfied with the way the ascended Astarion romance plays out, I decided to put my authors mind to work and apparently I'm not the only one unsatisfied. I've played a female drow IRL in tabletop campaigns for over 10 years so of course when Baulder's Gate 3 dropped I recreated her in game and went in intending to play her true to drow lore. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would run into her mirror in the form of everyone's favorite vampire elf. so, here is their continued tale, after the fall of the Absolute, true to Drow lore. It will get violent and it will get hot and heavy. That's all the warning you will get. Enjoy the ride.

Vasxyra came awake slowly, taking in the sounds of the Elf Song Inn beneath her room as the tavern bustled about busily with its morning patrons. She concentrated intently, as she lay on her stomach across the bed, but was thankful to hear that, with the exception of her partner, the rest of their motley crew apparently found other accommodations for the night. A good thing too because she was sure they would have gotten as little sleep as she had. After defeating the Absolute and saving Baldur's Gate, no the entirety of Faerûn, they had returned to the tavern to celebrate their victory and the removal of those dreadful tadpoles. They were only a few drinks in when she couldn't stand it anymore and coaxed Astarion up the stairs. She hadn't laid with him since before they entered the shadow cursed lands. The druid, Halsin, had been more than willing to warm her bed in the meantime and sate her carnal desires, but ever since Astarion had ascended there was a primal hunger in her that craved him more than anything the bear could ever fulfill. Not even the likes of devils could fill the void the vampire left in the pit of her stomach.

As if on cue icy fingers brushed her silvery hair away from her neck and felt breath on her skin. “Don't even think about it.” She said, finally opening her milky eyes as the vampire instead placed a kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Old habits, love.” He said, sitting up beside her “And you are so delicious it's hard to resist.” She sat up herself, languid and lithe like a satisfied cat, the sheet pooling around her shapely hips, her silky hair falling around her shoulders and catching the rays of the early morning sunlight; turning them into a golden halo, in sharp contrast to the grey tones of her skin. With life returned to his body Astarion's breath actually caught at the sight of her. “Gods you're beautiful.”

The tip of her pink tongue came out and just barely touched her top lip as she ran her gaze over him hungrily. He was bare chested, wearing only his leather breaches from the waist down., his pale skin even paler in the morning light. “You're not so bad yourself. I've been waiting for last night since we took out Cazador.”

Astarion smirked. “Speaking of which. I can't believe you let me do that. Killing all those people. A pleasant surprise.”

Vasxyra shrugged nonchalantly. “I wanted a powerful ally and now I have one.”

“Indeed you do.” he responded, reaching out a hand and capturing a strand of her hair, trying to capture the light reflected there. “And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. “ he said, finally tucking the strand of hair gently behind her ear. “What can I do for my dearest pet?”

Vasxyra went rigid, her mood instantly souring and her expression hardened. “ I am not your pet.”

Astarion dropped his hand and scoffed at her. His own mood darkening. “Oh don't be such a humorless little wretch. It's nothing but a joke.”

“It doesn't feel like a joke. It feels like you mean it.” She said, trying to soften her tone. This was not the direction she was wanting this morning to take.

“Life's a joke, dear, but now we're the ones laughing.” he responded.

She closed her eyes with a sigh and shook her head. Turning away from him, she found her robe on the floor and snatched it up, pulling it on over her naked body. “You haven't learned anything, have you?” she asked, pulling the ties tighter than necessary out of frustration.

“Oh? And Pray tell What was I supposed to learn in all of this?”

She finished and sent a glare to the vampire lying on the bed they had shared just the night before. His expression cold and missing any flicker of the affection they had shown just moments ago. “How not to be like Cazador.”

Instantly his cold expression melted into rage and he leapt from the bed across from her “How dare you! I am nothing like him! “ Vasxyra didn't flinch, in fact she expected this reaction and braced to fight. Allegiances with her kind usually ended in violence. Astarion saw her change in demeanor and stopped. Like flipping a switch, his tone softened, his expression changed. The tiniest glimmer of affection was back in his eyes. “I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear. Isn't it? That's what you want? To be mine? Forever? We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side, We could have it all. My dark consort. My right Hand. My most beloved spawn.” He offered his hand to her across the bed and Vasxyra relaxed herself just a bit, still on guard but not quite as tense for battle.

Suddenly it struck her just how deeply her vampire lover was still scarred despite the immense power he now held. Unfortunately for him, he clearly knew next to nothing about Drow society. Perhaps it was time she educated him. “A beloved slave is still a slave.” she said.

A flash of hurt flickered through his eyes, before he quickly covered it and again, like a switch flipping, his mood turned and he tsked at her. “It seems I misjudged you. I thought we might have a future together- even an eternity-but perhaps you're not worthy.”

Vasxyra's fury was white hot and instantaneous. Even Astarion, with all his newfound power, felt the change in the air and knew on some instinctual level that he had made a mistake. She didn't move. Her expression didn't even change, but there was an almost audible crackle and the weight of the weave in the air grew heavy. “Unworthy?” She muttered, her voice low and flat but not so low that Astarion's keen vampire hearing didn't pick up the dangerous undertone to it. Then, before he could even react she held her hand out toward him and her voice rang out with such power it echoed through the fabric of the weave in the room without her even having to shout. “Ad lapide.” His limbs froze in place, his body immobilized under the might of the spell. The mighty vampire ascendant was at her mercy. She lowered her arm and approached him slowly, deliberately. Her movements measured and with purpose as she came around the bed toward him. “The only one unworthy here, vampire” she practically spat the word, “is you. You forget that the only reason you have the power you do now is because of Me.” She circled around behind him out of sight and her hand came up to gently trace the scars on his back with the tips of her fingernails. “Without my help you'd have been nothing more than another one of Cazador's sacrifices for him to achieve what you have. And don't forget why he was so easily felled. It wasn't because of the tadpoles or our companions,” she pressed herself against him seductively, and spoke sultrily into his pointed ear “It's because I am a Necromancer and even a mighty Vampire Lord can be brought to heel with my power over the undead.” she said and then gave a slow lick to the bite scar on his neck that Cazador had given him over two centuries ago. If she didn't know better she would have thought he had shuddered though whether from disgust, anger, pleasure, or a mix of all three she didn't know because the spell would have prevented all movement out of him. Either way, she pulled back and studied him from behind a moment, trying to decide if this allegiance was still worth the effort and benefit. She quickly decided it was, if it could be salvaged, and also decided the best way to proceed would be to do as Astarion had done with her. Show him her scars. It went against everything she had been taught since birth. Every instinct within her rebelled against the notion, but more than just a part of her wanted this for more than just an alliance. Eternity was a very VERY long time. She would succeed in her goal, she had no doubt, but she was no fool. Houses rose and fell in the Underdark as easily as turning the page of a book in history. No house ruled forever. Once her house inevitably fell, what then? Her matron mother would have her beaten to within a breath of death for even asking such things, but it was something she pondered none the less. Astarion gave her the potential of a future beyond her house's existence.

Pulling herself from her thoughts, she brushed her fingertips down his back and over his hip as she started circling him again. “But, I've come to the realization that despite everything I know about you. You know very little about me. For example: Do you even know how old I am?” She asked, finally coming back into his line of sight. His expression was unreadable. Not angry, not disgust, just blank as though he were trying to hide his thoughts and emotions, but he didn't respond, still locked within the power of the spell as he was. “I didn't think so.” She answered herself. “I blame myself for that. It's not exactly in Drow nature to be the most...forthcoming with honesty and information, but I want to make an effort with you, Astarion. If you will let me. Can we have a drink and talk? You may find that we have a great deal more in common than you realize.” His red eyes hardened into a glare and she sighed. “Please, I hope we can work things out and stay together.” At that he blinked in surprise and seemed taken aback by her admission and to her own surprise she realized that she wasn't lying. She did want to reconcile with her vampire lover.

At that moment the spell broke and Astarion was free again. His body was mobile and his voice was his own. She braced herself just in case, but instead of anger his response was surprisingly almost gleeful. “Of course we can. You're the one that I want- the one that I love. I already have everything. Except you by my side.”

Vasxyra inhaled and closed her eyes with relief. Then gestured for the table nearby. Astarion sat and she joined him grabbing two goblets and filling them to the brim with the strongest red wine she could find on the table. “I'll start with an apology. There are going to be things I will say that will no doubt make you angry again, but they are part of me, just as Cazador's teaching's are part of you.” She took a long drink, filled her goblet again and brought it closer to her on the table, spinning it slowly in front of her as she studied the way the light danced off the metal. Astarion waited patiently as she combed through her memories, choosing how best to start. “I'm one-hundred and seventy years old.” She finally said. “Since I brought up my age first, it only seems appropriate to begin there.”

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Duskwall Slang

Since we did a VITD lookbook yesterday, I figured we might as well keep the train going today and talk a little bit about some of the worldbuilding I've done for the Valicer In The Dark version of Duskwall (the main setting of Blades In The Dark). Specifically, I've decided to share the short list of slang that I've come up with for people to use! Because that's always fun, right? :) The first entry on this list is taken from the book itself (page 42, specifically) and adapted a little bit, but all the rest are purely my own invention:

-->“Flashing a/their/your Coin” and variants – making an ostentatious display of wealth, to the disgust of everyone around them (the term "Coin" itself is in fact slang for a large sum of money, taken from the days when the Imperial treasury would actually mint large solid gold coins intended to cover major transactions; most people these days rely on small silver pieces called "slugs"). Example: “You spent all that money on THAT outfit? Really flashing your Coin, huh?”

-->“Moving to Six Towers” – indicates that the person said to be moving was previously rich and important, but has fallen on extremely hard times and is on the verge of ruin (referencing the fact that Six Towers USED to be one of the richest neighborhoods in the city, but has turned into a bit of a slum with most of the nobility previously living there moving into Brightstone). Example: “The Everglots’ leviathan ship hasn’t had a good haul in six months. Think they’ll be moving to Six Towers soon.”

-->“Scavenging in the Lost District” – indicates that the person said to be scavenging is taking an INCREDIBLE risk in the hopes of getting a high reward (due to the Lost District being an abandoned neighborhood outside the lightning barrier keeping the city safe and guarded by the Spirit Wardens...but also having many lost riches within its bounds). Example: “You want to rob Lord Mayor Powerwallet? Talk about scavenging in the Lost District!”

-->“Living Coin to Coin” – living paycheck to paycheck, as the average weekly wage in Duskwall is equivalent to a Coin’s worth of money. Example: “Poor old Tom – what with his sick mother and five children needing feeding, he’s living Coin to Coin.”

-->“Only good for mushrooms” – indicates that the thing being talked about is absolute shit. Example: “Don’t order the ‘special ale’ at the Withered Talon, it’s only good for mushrooms.”

-->“You want to call the crows?” – equivalent of “You want to get us killed?” in response to a risky course of action (referencing the Deathseeker crows that find corpses for the Spirit Wardens). Example: “You want to FIGHT Lord Mayor Powerwallet’s bodyguards? You want to call the crows?!”

-->“Barrowcleft approved” – indicates the item in question is homemade but of very high quality (Barrowcleft being a poor, rural neighborhood with one of the best, and fairest, markets in the city). Example – “You carved this yourself? Why, this is Barrowcleft approved work and no mistake!”

-->“Dust Day fare” – an extremely meager meal made from poor-quality ingredients, referencing the popular nickname for the fifth day of the week from Charhollow, which itself references the fact that poor people’s food stores are the thinnest on this day. Example – “Canal water soup with potato peelings. This is Dust Day fare, all right.”

-->“Crit Six/rolled a crit six” – means that something is exceedingly good, or that something that you have done has succeeded beyond your wildest dreams; references the most popular dice game in Duskwall, where rolling double sixes is an automatic win. Example – “I went to open the safe, and I rolled a crit six – the door practically came off in my hands!”

-->“Welcher” – a term for someone who hires a criminal or crew for a job, and then not only refuses to pay them, but actively tries to murder them (directly or otherwise) to avoid doing so. Only one of the highest leaders of the most well-known crews may declare someone a Welcher, and then only after receiving sufficient proof, as the term is a death sentence – the scoundrels of Duskwall do not take kindly to their clients trying to stiff them, in both senses of the word. Example: “All right, I’ve seen enough – I’m ready to declare that Lord E.A. Bethesda is a Welcher. Hope he’s prepared for every scoundrel in the city coming for his ass...”

Further updates to come if and when I think of more stuff! Which I probably will, as this is fun. :)

[genericnam]

After spending way too long working on these on and off, I have finally finished some OC character drawings. These characters are pretty overpowered, but in my defense, they were actual parts of a DnD campaign I was in that reached level 20, so that's why they're so strong, lol. (Also, forgive my shit photo-taking skills, the only lighting I have is the lightbulb on my ceiling)

First up is Huskoshe! Huskoshe is a cunning, dealmaking devil, and a Warlock who follows the word of a god of Life and the Sea. Huskoshe spent the first of his many centuries alive traversing the ocean alone, where he met his god and became a Warlock, obtaining powerful magic.

Soon after, he was recruited to a pirate crew known as the Sea King's Ships as the barrelman (lookout), though he was much more popular among the crew for his near perfect track record on successful missions. Huskoshe spent many centuries aboard the Sea King's Ships, becoming one of the senior members of the crew.

When a dangerous religious cult began to spread across the lands, Huskoshe, his party members; Kin and Kalotoff (not my characters, so I haven't drawn them yet), along with the rest of the Sea King's Ships, led the war that eventually was the downfall of said cult.

As he went, Huskoshe obtained further and further power, amassing a personal army of devils he obtained through soul contracts and deals. Huskoshe's army was small in numbers, but its power was vast due to one special distinction: each person who joined his army did so willingly. There was no treachery or betrayal, as everyone from his strongest generals to the weakest Imps were loyal warriors who Huskoshe knew personally, and shared the glory of victory with.

At the end of his journey, Huskoshe made a proposition to the God of Death—Asmodeus—for a spot on his court. After recovering three ancient artifacts of Asmodeus', Huskoshe was allowed to battle Mephistopheles—the Archduke of the 8th layer of Hell—to the death in combat for the title of Archduke.

Huskoshe won, and now he rules the 8th layer, turning it into a land of water and ice, populated by the only Archduke in the history of Hell to be beloved by their minions (who didn't use mind control, at least).

Of course, he wouldn't have made it nearly as far if it weren't for his first ever minions.

Rhirale the Blade is a towering Pit Fiend who uses the power of ice to cut through his foes. His two weapons, Frozen Blood (right) and The Buckler of Ice (left) were forged from his own life force. Even upon death, he doesn't go down without a fight, exploding into thousands of sharp ice crystals harder than diamonds.

Rhirale was not always this powerful however. Once, he was a runt of an imp, who was born alongside his sister, Zankas. Rhirale's left wing is deformed, being smaller than the other, and it caused him much trouble. However, the imp possessed great ambition and a warrior's pride. Rhirale trained, becoming more powerful than any other Imp on his layer, and being promoted up in his ranks.

This went on for many years, until Rhirale had become an Ice Devil, and become satisfied with his physical power, choosing to pursue the power of wealth through working under a Dragon on the material plane.

He and his sister (we'll get to her) worked under the dragon Baryon, until the Sea King's Ships arrived. For you see, Baryon was a leading power within the cult they were battling against, and the pirates had come for his head.

Huskoshe saw the power and potential of the devils hired by Baryon to block their way, and offered them a deal. Each and every devil in the room could join his side and fight for glory and wealth beyond their wildest dreams, or they could choose to flee, and be spared. Some devils fled, but many of them joined Huskoshe, becoming his first minions.

When Rhirale made the deal with Huskoshe, something happened. Fate seemed to recognize the Pride that Rhirale possessed, and as he had begun serving under the future lord of Pride, it saw fit to give him his final promotion. Rhirale the Blade was reborn as one of the highest ranks of devil one can acheive, only below becoming a Duke of Hell: A Pit Feind.

Rhirale became one of Huskoshe's two generals, uzing his power and sheer will to command respect and charge his way to victory.

I did mention Rhirale's sister, no? Well, this is Zankas Septum, the second general of Huskoshe's army, and Rhirale's sister.

Like her brother, Zankas was born a runty Imp. She too, had a wing that was too small, being her right. Zankas held as much pride as her brother, battling with speed rather than brute power.

Zankas weilds the powers of Poison, and possesses a weapon known as the Revolving Longsaber, a flaming golden blade that can polymorph into a snake-scale revolving gun.

Zankas worked her way up the ranks of the devil heirarchy as well, ending her training as a Succubus before she began work under Baryon.

When Zankas made her deal with Huskoshe, she was gifted power equal to Rhirale, becoming an Erinyes, titled Zankas Septum.

Zankas' speed is unmatched, capable of using her claws and sword at speeds faster than any mortal can react, and anyone who is able to dodge her attacks can be defeated with manipulation, as her ability to manipulate and mind control her enemies exceeds what any Succubus or Incubus would ever be capable of.

Zankas Septum and Rhirale the Blade are Huskoshe's closest allies, managing his army while he deals with fiendish politics. The three of them have plans of expanding their reach in the future, but for now they are content to be the unmatched army of the 8th layer of Hell.

[brofisting]

MY FRIEND, I ABSOLUTELY CAN!!!! 🥰 Starting from the beginning...

PART ONE: ORIGINAL FILMANIA PRODUCTION & FATE

It’s 2019-20, you’re Mile Phakphum Romsaithong, a very rich socialite who plays guitar. You’re bored and you’ve been thinking about getting into acting, and have been offered misc. BL casting opportunities before (1), but never really felt like any of them were For You, so you turned them down. 

Then, one day, you find out that there is a BL currently casting from the studio Filmania, where the male lead is based on you (2), at least your public persona/physically/whatever. Being a puppy of a man, you are delighted, and go read the script, and then the books, and decide you’ll go to the casting call for it.

At casting call, you re-meet Apo Nattawin Wattanagitiphat (3), who you went to college with and had a giant crush on (4). You guys hit it off IMMEDIATELY, chemistry unhinged, and get cast as Kinn and Porsche. Apo takes it, even though he has historically had a bad experience with the Thai acting industry (5). You are delighted by this incidence of FATE!!!!!!

PART TWO: IF YOU DON’T HAVE FATE ON YOUR SIDE STORE-BOUGHT IS FINE

The show gets dropped (6) Something something the authors, something something the company, whatever. I assume, if you are Mile, you are very sad! And if you’re Apo you’re also pretty sad, because it seemed like for once even with all the industry BS you had a cool dude on your side who you hit it off with, and it was gonna be a cool show. On the heels of that, if you are Mile, and have stacks of money, and see your college crush who is an unbelievable actor about to re-give up on acting and call it a wash, you are like, “wait, I have stacks of money and know everyone”.

So you, Mile, call up the head of the small talent agency you’re signed with, Be On Cloud, which is really just your buddy Pond Krisda Witthayakhajorndet in a fake mustache and a trench coat, and go, hey! So! Have you ever wanted to make television? I have a man here I CANNOT allow to be sad under any circumstances, and also, we’re really good at this and there’s an audience here.

PART THREE: BE ON CLOUD, KINNPORSCHE TAKE TWO!!!!

Pond, being just as unhinged as Mile, thinks about it for a second, and is like. Well. How different can making television be from running an event planning company, which is my real job (7). It’s just calling up a bunch of different guys who are good at their jobs and putting them in one place. And I know so many different guys! Let’s do it!

They get the rights (handwaves this I don’t know anything about it) and jump into production. They get their shit together UNREALISTICALLY quickly (6), and on top of that, since they’re starting from scratch and they’re just A Bunch Of Guys led by Pond and Mile, they decide that their priorities are #1 making art and #2 making Apo happy. With regards to #1, they rework the script (8), hire the best acting coaches money can afford, and put the cast through character-building and intimacy workshops. With regards to #2, they toss out all the industry bullshit that has sucked for him in the past -- no more crew/cast hierarchy (9), no more homophobia on-set (10), no more fake fanservice (11).

FINALE: MIRACLES IF U BELIEVE ETC.

Magically, it turns out, when you create a great working environment, you get really, really good TV!!!!! Which means that their unhinged plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams, and now Mile & Apo are internationally famous superstars who hang out 24/7 with their squad of 16 close friends, and we get to watch them do it. And it has been, genuinely, a fucking privilege. 

To end this tale with a personal note, one of the reasons I allowed myself to get so invested in KinnPorsche so fast is because it was evident from every aspect of it -- the show itself, the BTS, the actors interviews -- that the people working on this show both really cared about the show and were genuinely having a great time. There is nothing like seeing art made by people who are passionate about making it! 

Their enthusiasm, their hard work, and their obvious enjoyment of the process & each other’s company are what made me feel like I could trust what they were making, because you could tell no matter what else it was, it was from the heart. And that’s really something special! Especially in this day and age!! 

And even though they could pull it off this time because of the circumstances (financial and social), I hope that it shows BL television CAN be made in a way that keeps the actors comfortable and safe and happy, and encourages change for the better across the industry as a whole. KinnPorsche shouldn’t be the last wild BL passion project; it should be the first one of a new wave. (bangs gavel) Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[fredfilmsblog]

BTS w/B&PC Part 1

The first Bee and PuppyCat Storyboard 2012 @Scribd

Now that Bee and PuppyCat: Lazy in Space is scheduled to drop on Netflix,  September 6, 2022, I thought I would share some of my recollections as to how this special series of Natasha Allegri’s came to be. –Fred Seibert

In the summer of 2012, my company Frederator announced that our Cartoon Hangover YouTube channel would be calling for pitches for what would be my fifth short cartoons incubator, Too Cool! Cartoons. As with all our other shorts programs, my goal was to bring new creator talent to the world. We’d already succeeded beyond my wildest dreams with Genndy Tartakovksy, Craig McCraken, Pendleton Ward and dozens of other cartoon creators.

But, Too Cool! was going to be different. Our other series had been kids projects only, given they were for Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. But, with Cartoon Hangover we had a chance to spread out to a world that had changed dramatically with the internet. Now, cartoon and animation lovers could watch pre-school shows now matter how old they were, the the world of adult oriented cartoons could spread out beyond The Simpsons and South Park.

The question among ourselves was what exactly did “adult” mean.

You can check out all the shorts to find out where we landed, but I have to say, when Natasha pitched the original Bee and PuppyCat storyboard (above), we were a bit perplexed.

Sure, Bee was 20-something, and she opened the cartoon telling us she’d been fired from her job. Adults work, right? And they get fired, right?

But, among ourselves, let me speak for myself here, I thought that adult cartoons that weren’t on network television had a chance to go a little farther than the PG stuff we all were used to. A little “edgier” –whatever that means– a bit naughtier? Whatever vibe I gave out, our vice president of creative affairs and development, Eric Homan, wasn’t sure that Bee and PuppyCat fit the bill.

We all loved Natasha Allegri’s work. Eric, in particular, had noticed her on the crew of Adventure Time, where she’s landed without any background in animation. Creator Pen Ward and Natasha had been trading “diary comics” for several years –both heavily influenced by future Cartoon Hangover creator James’ Kochalka’s American Elf– and Pen brought her aboard his maiden series from the very first day.

And then, there was Fionna and Cake. I won’t go too far down the rabbit hole, but one day we noticed on Natasha’s personal then-blog, this web comic where she’d done the hip thing of the moment and done a gender reversal on Adventure Time. We loved it, put it on the Adventure Time tumblr we’d started, and the readers went crazy. I mean, crazy! Natasha did a follow up, crazy got crazier, and before you know we’d convinced Cartoon Network to do an 11-minute episode in the third season, and it got even more nuts, the highest rated episode until that point. A comicbook series by Natasha followed from Boom! Studios, and cosplayers started showing up to conventions as Fionna instead of Princess Bubblegum. We knew Natasha had the thing.

Nonetheless, was it right for Cartoon Hangover? Eric told Natasha it wouldn’t work, I had concurred, and she started walking home.

More BTS w/B&PC in Part 2.

[madisonbeersource]

madisonbeer:  one week since closing night of the life support tour n i have been trying to articulate all of my overwhelming emotions ever since. there are / never will be the words to express the emotions i feel n nothing will literally ever be sufficient enough to express my gratitude firstly i would like to write to all of u who share these sacred memories from tour with me. to every single person who spent their night with me, thank you. you single-handedly made all of my wildest dreams come true and your support means everything under the sun.. n a lil extra thanks to those who went out of their way to look me in my eyes during my show n without words were able to say so much. you were my comfort and my safety every night. your handmade signs, fan projects, screaming of fuckin lyrics, your efforts n your love…. it will never be describable and i will never be able to thank you enough. i miss you so much already next i’d like to thank the two incredible talents who danced with me every single night. angel and justine, you already know how i feel. thank you for blessing us all with your light and remarkable talents, it was a true honor to share the stage with the both of you…. idk how i convinced either of u to join me but thank u for bein the older sisters i’ve always dreamed of n i love u til the end of time. thank u one trillion times to my rockstar opening act leah for warming up the crowd n kicking asssss every single night. u blow me away n i love love love u lastly but surely not least, my incredible crew who spent 4 months of their lives making this thing happen…… nothing. would be anything… without you. to building and taking down the stage every night, lighting us, cueing us, mixing me, supporting me and so on and so forth,,, having people around me care so delicately and cautiously for something that means oh so much has been moving to say the least. i can not thank you all enough for your contribution and help beyond words. i guess this is all just a big roundabout way of saying thank you. fuckin thank you so much. thank you for coming. thank you for spending your night with me. 

thank you for seeing me. love u always ,,, onto the next

[fatalemuse]

Madison Beer ( @madisonbeer ) via Instagram.

caption included under the cut.

one week since closing night of the life support tour n i have been trying to articulate all of my overwhelming emotions ever since. there are / never will be the words to express the emotions i feel n nothing will literally ever be sufficient enough to express my gratitude firstly i would like to write to all of u who share these sacred memories from tour with me. to every single person who spent their night with me, thank you. you single-handedly made all of my wildest dreams come true and your support means everything under the sun.. n a lil extra thanks to those who went out of their way to look me in my eyes during my show n without words were able to say so much. you were my comfort and my safety every night. your handmade signs, fan projects, screaming of fuckin lyrics, your efforts n your love…. it will never be describable and i will never be able to thank you enough. i miss you so much already next i’d like to thank the two incredible talents who danced with me every single night. angel and justine, you already know how i feel. thank you for blessing us all with your light and remarkable talents, it was a true honor to share the stage with the both of you…. idk how i convinced either of u to join me but thank u for bein the older sisters i’ve always dreamed of n i love u til the end of time. thank u one trillion times to my rockstar opening act leah for warming up the crowd n kicking asssss every single night. u blow me away n i love love love u lastly but surely not least, my incredible crew who spent 4 months of their lives making this thing happen…… nothing. would be anything… without you. to building and taking down the stage every night, lighting us, cueing us, mixing me, supporting me and so on and so forth,,, having people around me care so delicately and cautiously for something that means oh so much has been moving to say the least. i can not thank you all enough for your contribution and help beyond words. i guess this is all just a big roundabout way of saying thank you. fuckin thank you so much. thank you for coming. thank you for spending your night with me. thank you for seeing me. love u always ,,, onto the next

[jogetschatty]

I Am An Ironman (IM Chattanooga Race Recap)

Well, y'all - Ironman Chattanooga surpassed my wildest hopes and dreams.

I'm honestly still in disbelief. Not just that I accomplished this dream, but about the day I had on Sunday. When I crossed the finish line, I couldn't stop saying "I had the perfect day." I never went to that dark place everyone talks about. There was never a moment I questioned my ability to finish.

Monday brought perhaps an even bigger surprise, but I'll save that as an incentive to make it through this very long post (Hint: it involves a big island).

Anyway, let's start from the beginning.

We arrived in Chattanooga late Thursday night with two bikes, a car full of gear and a whole lot of race nerves. Thankfully, we had a lot to do over the next couple days to distract us. After chatting with other athletes over breakfast in the hotel lobby (we stayed at the Hampton Inn downtown, just blocks from transition), we set out for a shakeout ride. We decided to drive the full bike course and ride a short stretch of it. It worked out perfectly that by parking at the Cedar Grove Community Center, riding down to see the sharp turn onto Hog Jowl first hand and heading back we got a 30 minute shakeout ride. I was nervous that the roads were pretty rough until you crossed into Georgia, but otherwise it was a beautiful course!

Next we headed to Ironman Village to check in. It really gets real when they put that bracelet on your list and assign you your race number (as an odd number loving gal, I had a good feeling when I was assigned 1155!). I also started to feel the pressure - I knew if I didn't finish the race, I'd never want to look at all the great swag! Next we headed to Cashew for a quick vegan lunch, drove the run course (oh man, those hills looked even harder than I'd imagined!) and rested up before the undie run.

The Undie Run is a longtime Ironman tradition, meant to shake out the muscles and ease the nerves - and I have to say, it worked! About 50 of us gathered in undies of all sorts - from lingerie to tighty whities, costumes and beyond - to be a bit silly and run through town with our tushies hanging out. We ran about four miles, and after a week of tapering - it felt great! By the time we were done, our support crew was in town! We enjoyed dinner at Proof Bar & Incubator and settled in for an early night. I slept remarkably well!

By morning, the race day forecast had shifted quite a bit. Instead of showers in the afternoon, it was calling for rain throughout the entire bike ride. I was already nervous about the 116 mile ride, and this really spiked my anxiety - I'm scared to bike in hard rain, and was worried about being cold. But we set about our day, starting with a practice swim at the Chickamauga Dam (one lap in a wetsuit, one in a swim skin since we weren't sure whether it would be wetsuit legal). From there, we packed up our gear bags and checked our bikes into transition (in the wrong spot! thankfully an amazing volunteer moved them and reached out to let us know). I found someone to put my hair into battle braids a la the great Lucy Charles, and made sure my nails matched my bike (#priorities)!

We took a bit of downtime before heading to the parents' Airbnb for a very early dinner (we landed on these BBQ tofu bowls!) and were in bed by 8pm. Again, I slept remarkably well until about 3am! At 4am I checked my phone - wetsuit legal! Our alarm went off at 4:30am, and I was remarkably calm (despite a forecast that now called for "gusty winds and small hail") as we set about our race morning routine. We ate breakfast (an English muffin with sunflower butter, jelly, half a banana and a mini blueberry muffin, plus a bottle with electrolytes). We got dressed, had a good poop (this is important!), packed our morning clothes bag, and were making our way to transition by 5:15. From there, things were a bit hectic as we had to circle a few times from bike to bike gear bag to run gear bag, but we'd left ourselves plenty of time and with nothing else to do, we were on the bus to swim start shortly after 6am. When I saw Kipchoge had broken the marathon world record in Berlin, I took it as a good omen - it was going to be a great day to race!

/\ Swim start!

We had almost TOO much time at swim start, and the nerves started to creep back in! We chatted with other athletes in the porta potty line, ate some gel blocks, drank water, brushed our teeth and finally it was time to line up. We checked in our morning clothes bags, said goodbye to our phones and self seeded in the 1:10-1:20 swim time (faster than I usually swim, but what I anticipated with the current). When Courtney said he was going to stay with me and get in the water, I let out a sigh of relief.

Finally it was 7:30. The anthem was sang, the cannon went off and we made our way toward the water. I told Courtney I loved him, to "be safe, race smart and have fun," gave him a kiss and said I'd see him at the finish line - and we jumped in the water.

From there, my nerves vanished. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face the rest of the day (seriously, people kept commenting on it!)

The 2.4 mile Swim: The water felt perfect. My stroke felt natural. I was calm and doing what I came here to do. I kept thinking to myself, "this swim is beautiful!" I felt like I was all over the river, but I had plenty of room and when I need to, took a few seconds to get out of the way of other swimmers and find my own path. I couldn't really tell how fast the current was moving, but soon I could see the bridges - and after swimming under the third, I could see the final buoy marking the swim out. I couldn't believe it when I looked down at my watch and say 56:10 minutes!

T1: Volunteers helped us up the stairs, and at swim exit I saw my brother in law Nate followed shortly by my father in law Mike! I put my hands up and waved, and ran on to where the strippers helped remove my wetsuit, got handed my bike bag and ran into the changing tent. It all felt like a blur! Since it felt pretty warm, I'd decided not to put on the throwaway long sleeve shirt I brought along, so I just dried my feet, put on my cycling shoes and helmet, applied chamois butter and sunscreen, shoved my wetsuit and goggles in the bag, took a puff of my inhaler, ate half my Maurten bar and grabbed my bike. 8:11 minutes.

The 116 mile Bike: This was hands down the part I was most nervous about. It was far and away the longest part of the day, the only section of the race I'd never done the full distance of before, and the part of the day that felt like SO much could go wrong (bike crashes, mechanicals, getting hit by a car). But I didn't take time to think about that - I just hopped on my bike and went. I was a little bit concerned when I looked down and saw my heart rate was at 141, but we were going up a slight incline and I knew I had a ton of adrenaline pumping from running out of the water and then running with my bike. I took deep breaths and calmed myself down.

I took the road out of town easy, to warm up and also because it's by far the roughest part of the course with potholes and train tracks and everything in between. There was an audible cheer around mile 5 when we crossed over from Tennessee to Georgia and the road quality immediately improved! It had started to rain, but it wasn't coming down very hard and I could see sunshine ahead. At that point I looked down and realized I was moving upwards of 20 mph, way faster than planned, but it felt effortless with the wind at our backs so I figured it would balance out once we hit the hills.

Before I knew it, I was at the start of the loop! I hit mile 16 and thought to myself "just a century left, you've done that before! The course was pretty crowded at this point, and it was hard to maintain 6 feet and also keep up speed. Since I had a full bottle of Maurten's 320 I was sipping on, and water in my aero bottle, I skipped the first aid station.

At some point around mile 20 it started to rain pretty hard. I said silently to myself, "you're okay, you've done this before, just keep biking, you're okay." And that's when I realized I actually really was okay. I biked cautiously and defensively and taking it easy on my descents. I saw quite a few cyclists crash into each other when one person slowed going up hill, so I kept my distance. I was soaking wet, but just above the line of uncomfortably cold. The rain subsided, and I actually found myself passing a lot of riders.

By aid station two, I'd finished my bottle. It was situated on the way up a hill, which made stopping annoying, but I decided it was still my safest bet. I pulled to the side and yelled for water, filled up my bottle with Untapped Mapleaid lemon tea, and had a little snack. While I was doing that, I saw two unsuccessful bottle hand offs and actually had to yell to warn a rider of a bottle, and stopped a teenage volunteer from running out RIGHT in front of a cyclist to get it, which definitely validated my decision to stop for a minute or two rather than get caught up in that chaos.

Soon I was taking the sharp turn onto Hog Jowl Rd. no problem, and heading to Chickamauga. Just as I'd started to get dry, it started raining on us again - but the road on the back side of the loop is a smooth, gorgeous descent. I realized, somewhat surprised, that I was actually enjoying the ride! I stopped again around mile 50, at special needs, and gobbled down an Uncrustable, took a gulp of the electrolyte drink I'd put on ice in case it was hot and poured the rest into my aero bottle. I realized I'd taken *no* salt pills, so I also popped one of those. On the way out I had a quick snafu where the lid to my aero bottle flew off and I had to turn around and get it, but I knew it would be worth it with 60+ miles left to go.

/\ Probably laughing because it was only after thinking a cyclist was peeing on my that I realized *everyone* had a stream of water shooting out from behind their bike.

On the steep, wet descent out of Chickamauga I saw the scariest thing I saw all day. Out of the corner of my eye, something bright in the ditch caught my eye, which I soon realized was a bike. It took my brain a second to register that there was someone lying next to it, unconscious. I briefly considered trying to turn back, but realized I'd very likely cause a bike pile-up with many cyclists coming around a corner and down a hill behind me, so I yelled to the first spectators I saw to please call medical right away - and realized they were already doing so. I realized I was shaking both at what I'd seen and whether I'd done the right thing, but I felt better when very soon after I saw the ambulance on the way.

I expected I'd be seeing my family soon, at the turnaround, and sure enough - there was my mom yelling and pumping her arms in the air! I gave them a big smile and thumbs up because I had a feeling they might be worried how I was holding up in the pouring rain and I wanted them to know I was actually doing okay. Then I was onto my second loop!

I will say, on the second loop there were hills I didn't remember - probably because they hadn't felt like hills the first time around! But despite being pruney from being wet for 5+ hours, I was still feeling good (though laughing at the thought I still had to do a marathon) and keeping in mind what a fellow triathlete told me a few weeks ago - if you feel any emotions on the bike - tired, hungry, angry, sad - eat or drink something. I also have to say - from spectators to volunteers to other riders, I got SO many call outs for my unicorn helmet, and it really kept my morale high! On my second loop, folks recognized me and were even yelling, "the unicorn is back!"

It wasn't until around mile 100 that I really started wanting off the bike - and honestly, it wasn't because I was tired or uncomfortable (miraculously, my shoulder and neck gave me no trouble - despite a lot of pain in training), but because I'd come so far feeling so GOOD and really wanted to get off the bike without any issues - I'd seen SO many mechanicals along the way, and didn't want to be one of them! As I turned back onto the highway toward home, the sun had come out and I realized I had a dull headache so I made a point to get some electrolytes in my body right away (I actually gnawed on a package of watermelon Nuun, because I couldn't get it in my water bottle), and immediately the headache started to subside.

As I made the final trip into town, I realized I was approaching my family's Airbnb and soon saw them in the front yard - including my brother who had flown in to surprise me! What a boost to get me through that final stretch home (when you hit 112 that would be the end of a regular Ironman, it hits you!) Soon I was rolling back into transition. I couldn't believe it - I made it through the bike and it was only 3:30pm, and when I signed up this race, I was genuinely nervous about making the 6:10pm bike cut off. Total time, 6:37:56.

Nutrition: 2 Maurten bars, 1 Uncrustable, 1 bottle Maurten 320, 2 Maurten gels (1 caffeinated, 1 uncaffeinated), 1 chocolate cherry caffeinated Clif gel, 1 Untapped waffle, 1 pack Untapped Mapleaid lemon tea, part of a bottle of Body Armor electrolyte drink and a few gel blocks, 3 salt pills, 4 mostly preventative painkillers.

T2: It was with huge joy and relief when I handed my bike to the catcher, but I was surprised that I actually didn't have the "and I never want to see you again, bike!" feeling that I'd had on some long rides. From there, I a volunteer handed me my run bag and I headed into the changing tent. Another AMAZING volunteer proceeded to unpack my bag, get me sunscreen, and help me when I was dropping things all over the place. This is also where I saw the most BADASS thing of the day - a fellow athlete BREAST PUMPING between the bike and run. Women are fucking magical beasts. I said goodbye to my unicorn helmet, popped on my cap and bib belt, took another puff on the inhaler and took a quick stop in the porta john - despite the rain, I'd had a really hard time peeing on the bike! 7:20 minutes

The 26.2 Run: I set out on the run feeling strong. It was hot, but I felt good and still had my legs. I was feeling pretty confident at this point about my prospects of finishing, with more than 8 hours to complete the marathon. I headed up the hill to the highway, where the first 4 miles of the course is in pretty much direct sunlight. Everyone was telling me I looked strong, and I felt it too.

I stuck with my plan to walk the aid stations. My primary concern at this point was keeping my body temperature low and maintain a heartrate under 140. When I hit the first aid station, I put ice down the front and back of my kit and on my head, splashed cold water on my face and drank some Gatorade Endurance and water. This would be my routine at pretty much every aid station until the sun went down! I was surprised that the miles were kind of just ticking away, and even with my stops I was maintaining a 10 minute mile or below.

The turn onto the Riverwalk - the only portion of the course I'd not seen - brought some relief from the sun. I was a little bit farty from everything that had gone into my body, but I still felt good. I walked the steep hill up Battery Place and was excited to see my family soon. Sure enough, there they were as I turned onto Veterans Bridge! I gave them all huge hugs, and let them I was sticking with my plan to walk the hills and aid stations, so they wouldn't worry if my next splits were slower.

And with that, I was off to Big Bad Barton and the dreaded hills on the backside of the course! To be honest, at this point I was kind of excited that they'd give me an excuse to walk.

Now let me tell you - people DREAD Barton. It's .4 four miles long, and you have to run it four times (two each direction) - but it's actually sort of fun, because it's a giant party. There's an aid station about halfway up it on the way out, and since my heart rate was low and I felt good, I decided to run to that and walk the rest of the way. I did the same on the hill by the golf course, took a quick and not very productive porta potty break around mile 11, and headed back toward the pedestrian bridge. As you cross it, you can hear people being called into the finish line. Throughout the bike and run, every time I saw the mile marker for the second loop while on the first, I'd been thinking to myself "you'll be SO happy to see that next time!" - but never more than here. And I knew my moment was coming.

At the halfway point, I stopped at special needs for a quick bite of pickle and grabbed my socks and a waffle in hopes I could hand it off to a family member (guys, Feetures are expensive!) But when I dropped them less than a mile later, I sacrificed another $18 to the triathlon gods. I was headed back out to the lonely, exposed highway stretch - and I remembered what my mom told me that morning: even if you're lonely out there, remember I'm with you. And I thought about her proud face and arms in the air when I'd seen her last.

People were still telling me I looked strong, but around mile 15 I started to feel a little light headed. My heart rate was still nice and low, so I had a feeling it was the start of a salt bonk. I decided to play it cautious. I'd had a great day so far, and by that point, I had all the time in the world - something like 6 hours to finish a half marathon. I sure as hell wasn't going to risk passing out and being taken off the course. So I walked a little bit, doubled up on my salt pills (I'd only taken 5 all day, at that point), and because I knew my stomach couldn't handle pretzels or chips - I put them in my mouth, sucked on them and spit them out (gross, I know, but it works!) By the time I was turning back onto the Riverwalk the day was cooling off and the shade offered even more respite. I didn't feel 100% back to normal, but it was getting better not worse, so I continued mostly running with a few extra walk breaks, using mile markers and minute markers to motivate myself.

/\ Still all smiles on the second loop, around mile 19.

I was excited to see my brother again at the bottom of the Battery Place. hill! We walked up it together as I grabbed some nutrition, and he told me I looked happier than anyone else he saw on the course. I told him I felt good, and it was true. By that point, I had absolutely no doubt I had another 10k in me. I gave him a big hug, told him I'd see him at the finish line, and headed back toward Barton.

At the aid station on Barton I had my first taste of liquid gold! I squealed when someone handed me the infamous chicken broth - offered at Ironman after dusk. I took a couple sips to test it out on the stomach and dang, that hit the spot. I definitely walked more of the second loop, though I was making a concerted effort to break a 5 hour marathon. Honestly, could I have pushed harder on the run? Absolutely! But it was much more fun to save some energy to dance to the music on Barton (it's a straight up party after dark! Though alas, no one heeded my request to play Hungry Eyes!), get my booty whipped by the sexy costumed ladies in the Girl Zone, thank and joke around with the volunteers at the aid stations and give out high fives left and right. And I wouldn't trade that experience for a few minutes off my time.

Before I knew it, I was back on the bridge and I could hear Tony on the microphone. Rounding that corner was incredibly emotional, as everyone had changed their tune from "you can do it" to "you did it!" and I knew that I had. The tunnel is long in Chattanooga, and try as I might to take it in, it went by way too fast! I did get to see and wave to my family, and had the wherewithal to back pedal so I wouldn't cross the finish line with the jerk from a relay team who sprinted past me at the last second (seriously dude, I hope I'm in all your photos).

/\ Serious glare right there.

As I crossed the finish line, I heard the words I've been waiting to hear since I signed up in May (and really, for much, much longer than that): "Johanna Elsemore, you are an Ironman. 4:48:33

Finish Line: I came through the finish line, and there was Courtney, face glowing with pride as he put my medal around my neck (he signed up on the spot to volunteer to give out medals (smart man right there!) I told him I'd had an absolutely perfect day, and he told me I'd crushed it. It was only then that I thought to ask what my time was - and I was flabbergasted when he told me I'd handily beat 13 hours, coming in with a final time of 12:38:08.

Going into the race, I had said that if everything went perfectly, I'd come in between 13-13.5 hours. I expected at time closer to 14 hours. I completed an Ironman in far less than double the time for my 70.3 in May, which really shows how much training I put in over the summer.

/\ THE BEST support crew!

After getting our bikes and gear bags back to the hotel, changing clothes, seeing off the family and getting Courtney stable (he was in pretty rough shape) we headed back to the finish line. It was the finish line of Ironman Maryland last year that inspired me to sign up for this. There truly is no party like an Ironman finish line party. And in true Courtney and Jo fashion, we closed down the bar - staying to welcome every last finisher home.

Quick selfie with Tony, who I thanked for being the only one ever to pronounce my name right at a major life moment (wrong at my graduation, wrong at my wedding), and for calling me home for my first Ironman.

I have so much gratitude. For the support of friends and family throughout training and in the lead up and aftermath of this race. For my family who came all the way to Chattanooga to watch me achieve this dream - they literally always show up. For my health, and the fact that I could even get to the start line. And most of all for my amazing partner, who trained with me even when it wasn't his preferred pace or distance, and hands down believed in me at least three times as much as I did.

I also have so much pride. I'm proud of how well I know my body, to be able to pace myself and finish with a strong time for a first timer, but also finish with a smile and the energy to keep on dancing. I'm proud of the discipline and hard work it took to get here, but perhaps more so of how I managed to maintain balance in my life - to continue to show up for birthdays and weddings and dinners, travel, and never stop playing as hard as I worked.

Now, the even bigger surprise I mentioned.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING KONA! I'm still in disbelief.

I swore before the race, after the race, the morning after the race morning that I was one and done. But then we went to the awards breakfast and roll down… and my 25th place finish was enough to qualify me for one of the Women in Tri slots (Chattanooga was allotted 100 extra this year, with 16 going to my age group - and 6 people didn't show up to take it - so I got the last slot for my age group).

Moral of the story, in life and in Ironman, you gotta show up to get the prize. This wasn’t even close to being on my radar when I signed up. I just wanted to finish happy and healthy. So, while usually I’m a woman of my word… you don’t turn down Kona. For an athlete of my caliber, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Space Shanty’s

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord ) Extract from “The Tides of the Void by Flent Litel”  They say when you do something you enjoy enough times the feelings joy you once held for it begin to fade away bit by bit.

When I first heard this statement I scoffed at the notion.

How could I ever grow tired of the feeling of space travel? I thought to myself. 

My people had dreamt of reaching the stars for generations and after our first hyper reactor core was able to reach speeds faster than light my people finally could obtain our dreams as we spread across not just our own system, but the systems and star clusters that had been far beyond our reach for generations. 

I remember the excitement, the thrill, as I boarded my first posting aboard a human freighter ship bound for stars beyond. The rush I got from our take off was something I had never felt before and had no comparison to. It was a feeling I never wanted to go away. 

Yet, as the years went on and I visited countless more worlds transporting cargo the old warning started to come true. 

The rush...the thrill...the excitment....it all began to slowly fade away. 

The sensation of lift off now was as common to me as if I were riding an elevator. 

This went on for years as I transferred ship to ship until I found myself aboard the “Flying Scotsman”. 

I was making my way to the cafeteria for lunch when I heard the strangest of sounds coming from the hall. It sounded like several dozen voices speaking at the same time but with different tones. 

As I entered the cafeteria I saw a cluster of crew members, alien and human, gathered around someone. It was a red haired human male and judging by his uniform he was an engineer on the engine decks. He appeared to be singing to the crowd and they in turn would reply a chorus or two or someone specific with a deep voice from the crowd would cut in. 

I had heard humans singing a dozen or so times before and initially paid it no heed. Humans in my experience will start breaking out into song at any moment for no reason other than it amuses them. 

It was only while I was waiting in line for food that I noted some of the engineers words and turned to listen. 

Though we set sail to planets far away, whose names I can not ever say. We know not what awaits us there, save the thrill of adventure. Through gas clusters thick as night, our thrusters burn forever bright.  To find that what we do not know, waiting for us in the unknown. 

For skies of crystal and seas of gold, what wonders do those worlds hold. So now I shall wait no more, adventure has come and taken me hold. 

On board now hurry lads, we won’t wait a second more.  Our destiny now unfolds, and onward we shall ever go! 

The gathering continued to grow as the crew sang along, becoming ever rowdier. I saw some officers come over and I expected them to break up the gathering they instead sat down and joined in with deeper voices. 

Sitting there I sat and listened to them sing. The red haired human seemed to have as many songs and tales as he did skin freckles on his face, each one more rousing than the last until the entire hall was in song. Every face I looked upon was filled with an mixture of expressions of joy and melancholy.

I myself did not know the words but I did begin to hum along to their tunes after a few songs if I do say so. I’ve never had much of a singing voice but what can I say; I was swept up in the moment. 

After the crowds finally dispersed and set back off to their stations the red haired human walked by me and I pulled him aside. Something had been bothering me since the moment I saw him and I felt he was the only one who had the answer. 

“You have worked here longer than me, have you not?” I asked him 

“Aye I have lad.” He replied, patting his chest as if it was a badge of honor. “This has been my home for some thirteen years.” 

“How do you do it?” I waved my arms around the cafeteria. 

“Well, it takes years of practice to gather all those songs and quite a few bar brawls as well.” The engineer rolled up a sleeve and showed a deep scar that ran the length of his arm from shoulder to wrist. “I earned this when I tried to get a Hive merchant sing “Sons of sun on sunny isles; turns out they aren’t one for tongue twisters.” 

I shook my head. “No, not the singing.” I waved my arms again.

“How do you stay so full of vigor and excitement? Has it not dulled for you as well?” 

The human flashed a soft grin and scratched his upper lip. He looked at me as and in his eyes I sometimes imagine that I saw a reflection of his own past when he looked upon me. 

“It’s true,” he began as he sat next to me, “there are days when the monotony feels like you’re trapped reliving the same day over and over and over.”

“But for every dozen days you feel like you’re trapped there’s also the days when something beyond your wildest imagination will happen.” 

His grin grew into a smile as he patted my shoulder. 

“Maybe you’ll be off loading a crate when suddenly your ship gets attacked by pirates, or maybe you’ll make a jump and then come back to real space in the middle of a herd of space flappers sucking down gas in a nebula.” 

“But those wonderous moment are so few and far between.” I said, my dread returning to me. 

The Engineer laughed and patted my back even harder this time and shook my shoulder. 

“That’s why you gotta sing about them lad!” 

“Sing them?”  

“Exactly! Then you can live them every day!”

“I am afraid I don’t know much of singing.” I said sheepishly. 

“Now that just won’t do!” 

He grabbed my by the shoulders and hoisted me to my feet. 

“A sailor who can’t sing is like a car without tires ladie!” 

After that he walked with me down the halls telling me all the songs he was going to teach me and in that moment I felt that flare for adventure coming back to me once more.    

[2022-med-cruise]

Woke up this morning to an incredible view. More accumulated wealth floating outside our veranda window than the entire state of Wisconsin could accumulate in a lifetime! Even the tiniest yacht docked here in Monaco is beyond my wildest dreams. After enjoying a light breakfast we went dockside for our walking tour of the older portions of the principality including the cathedral (where Grace Kelly and Ranier were married - and buried) and the Royal Palace as well as the residences of other members of the Grimaldi family. The architecture was quite lovely and spotless. I swear they must have a crew come in overnight and hose down the whole principality!

The one thing that was most noticeable was the lack of a sea breeze. Yesterday in Marseilles while it was warm - hell it was downright hot! - there was a marvelous sea breeze that made for delightful touring. Here in Monaco, there wasn’t a breath of air moving and made for a heavy, humid day and miserable walking. We were more exhausted after our 3 hour walk this morning than we were after 7.5 hours of yesterdays Van Gogh excursion. The Mistral is a lifesaver!

Once back on the ship, we settled in for some down time to recuperate and felt good enough to head to the Wintergarden for high tea! Last time we had an official “tea party” was in Edinburgh so it was time for a rerun. Finishing up the day with some excellent Weiner Schnitzel and a nice wine for decided on an early night as our excursion to Florence leaves at 7:45 AM and lasts around 10 hours. (Mostly due to a couple hours on a bus both to and fro!)

[stormbreaker101]

The Manchurian Incident

The Pirate was always a bit... overconfident. They were renowned, strong, feared by the Armada. They had faced many foes and likely had many more enemies in the shadows, but they didn’t worry about it too much. They knew they could handle it.

So when the devious warlord Moo Manchu sent an invitation to the Pirate’s crew, they had no choice but to face whatever trickery he had in mind. How could they NOT!? They’re not one to back down from a challenge.

Moo Manchu’s invitation was one for suffering. Because of past deeds the Pirate had done, Moo was pissed off. Something about civil war and General Tso, a name the Pirate had almost forgotten about, Moo exposited. The Pirate didn’t give a shit. Neither did their crew. Moo Manchu had conjured up a gauntlet of ‘suffering’ for the Pirate to face. Really, it was just free combat practice.

The Pirate and their crew tore up the gauntlet, fighting their way through floor after floor of enemies. Upon the seventh floor, Moo Manchu was waiting for them. He spoke only to the Pirate, not caring about their crew. He spoke smooth, charming words that appealed to the ego.

“You pirates are an interesting breed, cunning and tenacious,” he said. Indeed.

Moo Manchu then stood by a statue that stood in the middle of the room. In the statue was a glowing sphere. “Look here, and behold the Elixir of Power. My greatest creation. Drink it, and you will know power beyond your wildest dreams,” he said.

The Pirate wasn’t an idiot. They knew there was a catch. Their crew caught on too, warning the Pirate not to drink it.

A handful of other pirates spoke from the lofted mezzanine on the floor, trying to convince the Pirate to drink it.

As much as the Pirate trusted their wits and the wits of their crew, they had to admit, what Moo and the other pirates said was quite... appealing. Power beyond their wildest dreams! Godly strength! The truest of strikes! Charisma that befitted heroes of legend (which the Pirate certainly had to be by this point)! Speed that trumped lightning itself! Notoriety and fame and fear across the Spiral!

They stepped forward.

Their crew shouted at them.

They gave a look back. They gave a soft smile. “Guys. I’ll take the good and resist the bad,” they reassured. They were confident. With all the power the elixir promised, the Pirate was sure they could resist whatever evil side effects it may have.

They chugged the Elixir of Power.

As soon as the first drop fell on their tongue, their body felt like it was burning. Blood rushed loudly in their ears. Their eyes twitched, and their vision went red. It hurt so badly. Power was pain. This was something the Pirate had learned over their journey. They only got stronger by dealing and suffering pain. This must’ve been no different. The burning sensation then felt comforting and warm, like they were holding a flaming pitch stake in their hand rather than being set on fire. It felt great. The power... they could definitely feel it. Their arms were tensed. Their eyes darted this way and that, they noticed all. Their posture straightened. Their legs felt loose and limber, ready for the most glorious of runs. They could feel the power radiating off of them, glowing even.

They turned around to look at their crew. They smiled wide.

Someone in their crew shouted a tragic “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The Pirate’s smile fell to a small frown. Betrayal made their eyes water. The crew didn’t support their choice? “You don’t... trust me,” they realized. It started as a question, but became a statement. They could see it with their newfound accuracy. The fear in the crewmembers’ faces. “You don’t trust me to use the Elixir well!” They grew angry. Their hands curled to fists.

The Pirate heard someone in the crew say something. They vaguely heard the phrase “If we knock the Captain out-”

And that was all they needed to hear. The crew had turned on them! “Traitors!” the Pirate roared. They took out their trusted weapon, and the other pirates who had egged them on from the mezzanine jumped down to the floor.

Knowing the crew well, the Pirate knew all their weaknesses. But knowing the Pirate well, the crew knew all their weaknesses too. Even with the aid of these five other pirates that sympathized with the Pirate, the crew had the advantage of numbers. It was a long and grueling battle, one without any of the cunning the Pirate usually had, replaced with unbridled and tactless rage, but eventually the Pirate fell.

...

The Pirate awoke to their crew standing over them, looking down at them with concern. Their legs felt heavy. They were a bruised and battered mess. Their vision was blurred with pain. Their arms were limp, unable to even grasp their weapon.

The looked down. They felt their face burn yet again, not in rage or power, but... shame. They couldn’t meet everyone’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” they murmured, their voice weak and raw from all the shouting they’d done. What a pathetic thing to say... They couldn’t say anything else.

Of all their crewmates, Monkey King spoke first. “Don’t be ashamed of your temptation, Captain,” he said, his tone for once genuine. “If anyone knows how hard it is to walk the high road, it’s me.” He offered a paw for the Pirate to grab.

They tried, but their arms still felt weak.

Bonnie Anne sighed. “We’ll stay here until you’re feeling better,” she promised.

“We won’t object if you want to get outta here,” Ratbeard spoke.

“Or if you want to keep going,” El Toro added.

The Pirate sat, and thought for a moment. Moo Manchu had promised suffering and absolute destruction. The Pirate had assumed he meant physical suffering, with floor after floor of combat. But that wasn’t the case.

Moo Manchu had played to the Pirate’s ego and utterly destroyed it. And no matter what the Pirate chose to do next, they would never get that pride back. That realization, and the consequences they faced here, as pathetic as they are now, was true suffering.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #1-3

May, 1984

THE WAR BEGINS

Oof, here we go.

Just gotta replicate the pace that let me do the Hawkeye miniseries in one go, three times in a row.

This is probably too much effort considering its Secret Wars (or more accurately Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars) and maybe there’s not going to be a lot of big changes from this in the Avengers book to really justify it.

But we’re getting Jim Shooter writing the Avengers and his non-consecutive runs were a lot better than I had remembered. And it continues the theme he had from the Avengers book.

It just makes sense in a nonsense way to cover this story.

Last relevant time in Avengers! Acting Completely Normal Vision warned the Avengers about some weird, possibly hostile energy surges right in time for an energy surge to surge energetically in Central Park.

When the Avengers went to investigate, they found a weird structure that looked like a techy coliseum maybe. When some of the Avengers wandered into it (apparently the most bankable Avengers? Sucks to be Vision and Wanda, shrug) they vanished.

In the next issue, after several days, these heroes returned, speaking of a secret war they fought. Weird stuff like She-Hulk taking the Thing’s place on the Fantastic Four happened. In other books, Spidey got a cool new suit.

Would you know more?

After being raptured in their various books, the missing superheroes all end up on one of those distinctive structures like the one that appeared in Central Park, except IN SPACE.

Its cool that the Avengers will have some company.

We’ve got a terrific 3/4ths of the Fantastic Four, the X-Men (including Lockheed but not including Kitty Pryde for some reason), the Avengers, Iron Man, Spider-Man, the totally Articulate Hulk, and hilariously Magneto is also here.

Maybe Secret Wars is just setting up the most awkward moment in the universe, as a prank show.

I think I’d enjoy a big event that turned out to be a prank show at the last minute. The fan discontent. Imagine.

Everyone introduces themselves to each other but mostly the audience and Ben Grimm claims his new codename as the Easter Bunny.

Checking, marvel wiki doesn’t have Easter Bunny listed as one of Ben’s known aliases. Cowards.

Looking up into space, Captain America spots another one of the totally cool constructs and Professor X scans that it contains EEEEEEEVIL.

Specifically Amora the Enchantress, Ultron, the Wrecking Crew, the Absorbing Man, the Lizard, VICTOR VON DOOOOOM, Kang the Conqueror, Doctor Octopus, and Molecule Man. Also, hilariously, Galactus is there.

I’m more convinced than ever that this is a prank show.

You know what would be more hilarious? If Punisher ended up on this construct.

The distribution of villains is kind of odd though. Galactus and Doctor Doom map to the FF. Doctor Octopus and the Lizard to Spider-Man. Ultron, Molecule Man, and Kang are Avengers foes. The Absorbing Man and the Wrecking Crew can go a couple ways but started off as Thor villains. And Amora is usually a Thor villain but supposedly has chilled out around this time or at least is less of a pain than her horny sister.

No X-Men villains. Because Magneto is chilling with them in the generally heroic pod.

Also, all the heroes were raptured from Earth while the villains were grabbed from Earth, from space, from Asgard, resurrected just to be here, or from the FUTURE.

I know marketing is wagging the dog but be consistent, secret organizer who we don’t know yet.

The Thing points out that Magnet is off-sides, re: being in the hero construct, and Magneto is like ‘hey, chill out dudes’ and denies specifically doing murders.

Magneto: “I know not what power transported me here from my secret lair, nor why I was placed among you -- but I find it more appropriate to ask why such as you were judged fit to be placed in my presence!”

Oof.

Burn.

Then the conversation is put on halt on account of the wildest shit any of them have ever seen.

An entire galaxy vanishes but probably not due to a wave of anti-matter.

Thor: “It’s gone! Gone -- ! Swept away like dust before some unseen, giant hand!”

And then around that last star left unswept, various chunks merge together to form some sort of world, perhaps for battle.

A nice touch for later is that you can definitely see that one of the chunks is a stray chunk of city.

Some of the villains start squabbling because close quarters, ego, etc.

But Ultron goes hey we’re allowed to fight? I’m the best at that.

Ultron: “I am Ultron! I do not understand the events transpiring! I do not understand how I came to be resurrected... nor how I came to be here! Nothing computes... Insignificant! I am Ultron! My purpose is to slay that which lives. You are all living things, ergo -- Ultron must destroy you!”

With the benefit of having read all the Avengers up to now, I feel that Ultron got up on the wrong side of the resurrection a little.

He’s not not like this but he’s not usually this turned on?

(Then again, maybe he just came back cranky)

DOOM grabs and shakes Molecule Man to do something about this because given enough time even the mighty DOOM might fall before Ultron.

Ultron is famously annoying to defeat, what with that adamantium.

But Molecule Man is in therapy after the Avengers kicked his shit and Tigra yelled at him for being a punk. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

So Doom with all his brilliant genius tells MM a cool way to help out that won’t hurt anyone. Directly.

Using his Molecule Man power over molecules to lightly toss Ultron into Galactus.

So that Galactus goes ‘who the fuck scuffed my boots’ and rips out all the energy in Ultron’s Ultron.

He can do that.

Why wouldn’t he? If he can do that to a planet, he can do it to a pissbaby robot. Even one apparently containing more power than an atom bomb.

Then, because this is one of those plots where things are always thenning, a rift opens in the nothingness of space and a heavenly esque light shines out. A warbly voice commands the action figures beat each other up.

I mean. Its more like

The Beyonder: “I am from beyond! Slay your enemies and all you desire shall be yours! Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to accomplish!”

But you have to admire that this toy commercial of a comic book is being honest and upfront about being a story where action figures bonk off of each other.

Galactus just hears ‘i can finally shake off these persistent forever munchies’ and flies off to demand prepayment for action figure bonking, with DOOM following behind him.

The Beyonder speaks up warning Galactus that hey, personal space. And that a guy that can effortlessly wipe out a galaxy is gonna have a sweet barrier but Galactus wants the hunger pangs gone and does not listen.

DOOM recognizes a bad idea when he sees one once in a while and hangs back but still gets blown out of space by the force of Galactus bonking off the Beyonder’s barriers.

Captain America: “They were swatted back like flies!”

Professor X: “To the Beyonder, even Galactus is less than a fly, Captain!”

Interruption dealt with, the Beyonder gets the show on the road and sends the two constructs to different parts of the patchwork planet.

The Marvel Super Heroes And Magneto land on some hill and quickly make sure that there are no villains excepting Magneto around.

With Magneto around, the non-X-Men raise an objection to Magneto being around.

He sank a Russian submarine with all hands back in X-Men #150 but he insists that it was self-defense and also they started it.

The X-Men’s position is ‘hey he’s a jerk but he’s our jerk plus we could use his help? The bad guys get GALACTUS, how is that fair?’

Well, they don’t say it but they’re probably thinking it.

And Hawkeye decides to be a little racist today.

Hawkeye: “You mutants stick together, huh? Well, sticking to a blood-soaked maniac like him doesn’t speak well of you, pal!”

Dude, Clint. Your dear old friend is Wanda.

Wait, why ISN’T Wanda here? Did the toy people really not want her? Fools. Her husband is toyetic as all get out.

Also, point of order, Wolverine? If anyone qualifies as ‘hey he’s a jerk but he’s our jerk!’ here its you.

Johnny “good life choices” Storm decides he’ll just kick Magneto’s ass and end the debate but yeah. Yeah, no. Magneto makes a fool of him.

And then Magneto decides eff this noise and flies off.

With Magneto alienated (good job, guys), Professor X decides this group needs some dang leadership and throws a nomination to Reed Richards. Reed defers since he’s thinking of Sue, left at home and not able to participate in the event.

Wasp, the cool leader of the Avengers, nominates instead Captain America.

Wasp: “We’re off in a strange land, up to our ears in a little secret war that may decide the fate of the universe! Some people don’t know me well! They might have doubts... and there’s no room for that!”

I’m baffled that there’s people here who don’t know Wasp who has been heroing since the 60s but sure. Cap(tain America) probably gets more crossovers and whatever.

I mean, heck, we’re talking a group of heroes consisting of the Avengers (who she already leads), the Fantastic Three (who she’s well acquainted with), and the X-Men (who I’m sure she’s met, although awkwardly its going to later be revealed that Wasp is in the Hellfire Club, but only the sex parts).

And I guess Wolverine’s extensive backstory with Cap doesn’t exist yet because Wolverine isn’t keen on him being the leader, describing him as the least of the assembled heroes. When Hawkeye is right there!

I kid because I love.

Meanwhile, DOOM wakes up adjacent to Galactus ankle and heads to a nearby fortress which he correctly assumes is where the villains have ended up.

Wait, the heroes get beamed down to a random hill while the villains get sent to an advanced fortress with weaponry and we later learn vehicles sold separately?

Kinda stacking the deck, the Beyonder.

You gave the villains GALACTUS and A FORTRESS PLAYSET right out of the gate.

The other villains tell Doom that they’ve (mostly) decided that he should be their leader. But Doom has bigger fish to fry than the prizes that the Beyonder is offering.

In typical Doomesque fashion, he wants the whole kettle. But the other villains what with their petty concerns think he’s too afraid to fight.

So he ditches.

He goes to steal-borrow a spaceship and even though he hates the thought, takes off to go talk to Richards. And then Kang shoots him out of the sky with a GIANT GUN THAT THE VILLAIN FORTRESS ALSO HAS? to stop him from allying with the heroes.

Said (marvel super) heroes see the distant explosion and fly as a group in the most hilarious way possible to check it out.

God, I have always loved this image. Its squished down into the bottom third of the page but its a delight.

They find Doom sprawled in the crash site, rambling that he’ll only speak to RICHARRRRRDS and about the Beyonder’s power. But Cap offends Doom mightily but offering him a hand up and because Doom sees pity in Cap and RICHARRRRRRDS eyes.

So he blasts the heroes and fucks off.

How very Bakugou of him.

And right as the heroes recover from that, a bunch of villains arrive to get this secret war started.

I have a fondness for this particular issue. For a long while, issue 1 was the only issue of Secret Wars I could find. So I just had the start of this story with all these non-Spider-Man non-X-Men heroes I barely knew cliffhangering into an attack by villains I really didn’t recognize except for Doc Ock and the Lizard.

It was a window into another side of the Marvel Universe. And for child me, this first issue worked perfectly to intrigue me. All these characters, the very straightforward conflict, all the complications that immediately pop up like Magneto, Galactus, and Doom. Alas, small child resources.

June, 1984

PRISONERS of War!

The heroes react slowly to the sudden villain attack but thankfully, the villains aren’t working together well. Unthankfully, half of the heroes were already knocked out by the first attack.

Meanwhile, over at Doctor Doom’s side of the plot, he flies back over to where Galactus just in time to see him finally rouse from being slapped down by the Beyonder.

Galactus floats to his feet and wanders off.

Doom: “He ignored me! As though I were a gnat buzzing at his feet! And so I am... Just as all of us, even Galactus himself, are but insects to the all-powerful Beyonder! Thus, the others have chosen to play the Beyonder’s simple game -- thereby, in effect, paying homage to him. Should I, too, pay homage? Should I worship at the feet of this god-like being -- or chose another path... one only Doom would dare!”

I think anyone that knows Doom knows which option he’s gonna choose.

He heads back to the villain fortress and finds Ultron’s deactivated body and decides Doom can use this.

Meanwhile, back at the first secret battle of the secret war, the heroes rally and start fighting back under Cap(tain America)’s leadership.

She-Hulk even gets a designated girl fight with the only female villain on the villain team.

I’d complain, I would. But at least She-Hulk isn’t the only heroine on the hero side.

She-Hulk: “Hiya! I’m the She-Hulk! You must be the Enchantress! Gee, I’ve heard so much about you -- ! You’re a not-nice lady!”

Enchantress: “A green woman? Is there no end to the varieties of mortals?”

The Enchantress magic slaps She-Hulk away and comments that she could crush She-Hulk physically but its beneath her.

Yeah, all Asgardians have some level of super strength, that’s right. Even the squishy wizards.

But all She-Hulk heard was, ‘someone I can really punch!’

She-Hulk: “I don’t often duke it out with someone solid enough to really unload on -- and slow enough to let me! Oh, wow! That was, like tubular, you know -- to the max!”

Uh. Jen, are you okay? Did you have a stroke? You don’t usually talk so much in Mario World secret world levels.

I think maybe Jim Shooter didn’t have a good grasp on her. I don’t think he’s ever written for her. And the other heroes mostly don’t vary too much from generic hero speaking patterns. Add some smart for smart characters, add some rude to Wolverine, and so on.

The battle wraps up with Kang, the Enchantress, and the Wrecking Crew captured and the rest of the villains fleeing when the battle didn’t go their way.

Cap sends Storm off to scout for a cool playset that they can use as shelter and she does so, noting that the winds on Battleworld are super easy to control. Like Battleworld was created to create ideal fighting conditions for everyone. Pretty neat, the Beyonder.

Storm finds a particularly rad fortress (”Bigger than fifty-four and a half Pentagons, I’d estimate!” Wow!) and the heroes move in.

I unironically enjoy how toyetic this story is with the fortresses and the vehicles and the weapons. Because I’m almost positive that Mattel barely capitalized on it.

There were only two playsets. Pitiful.

Over in their new headquarters, Reed stashes the captured villains in some form of psychostasis which “works by controlling aggression through brainwave modulation!”

He also sticks Enchantress in a healing pod to address that nasty case of being She-Hulked right in the face. Nothing will salve her ego though.

Captain America: “It’s no wonder that the name Mister Fantastic is renowned for compassion as well as courage! You give added meaning to the word hero, Richards!”

Whenever someone loudly announces that Reed is super compassionate, it makes me feel like they’re overcompensating.

Nobody ever makes note of, say, Captain America’s compassion.

With the prisoners (of war? Is that the whole reason for the title?) accommodated, Cap calls everyone for a meeting in a cool meeting dome he found which has a small waterfall for aesthetic and so everyone has to yell to be heard.

Wolverine yells that they should mop up the rest of the villains and get this over with.

Not mentioning that in order to “win it” they’d have to kill the villains, which none of the heroes have shown any interest in doing so far.

Cap(tain America) replies that A) planet big and they have no idea where the villains got to. And B) the remaining villains slash antagonists are Galactus, Doctor Doom, Molecule Man, Doctor Octopus, the Wrecker, the Absorbing Man, and Magneto. Not really people you mop up.

In a fun logistics bit, Cap sends out a patrol to make sure the area is secure but he also sends out two additional groups to find  if there are any places in this fortress they can sleep and whether there's any... food.

Makes me imagine a Secret Survival War where the sides have to wrestle over limited resources.

Hours later, the villains that escaped the fracas arrive back at their fortress.

I’m sort of confused here.

Maybe it took so long because they had to make sure they weren’t followed. Or maybe because they didn’t have the sweet tripod vehicle anymore. But think about the flow of events of: everyone beamed down to Battleworld > Doom ditches the villains and gets shot down > heroes investigate and Doom ditches > villains show up for cliffhanger fight.

The villain fortress should be pretty close to where that fight took place. And then the heroes find a nearby fortress of their own so their fortress should be pretty close to the villain fortress. Maybe not in the same neighborhood but surely the same zip code.

Anyway, they find that while they were gone, Doom swanned in and renamed the place the Doombase.

If they have problems with it, they can talk to his Ultron.

Which I’m surprised he didn’t rename Doomtron.

Doom also tells them that he’s in charge now.

Absorbing Man: “Aw! Who gives a hoot! I need a meal an’ sleep! You wanna be in charge, Doom? Okay by me!”

If you think about it, this is just some steps added what the villains wanted all along.

They wanted Doom to be their leader but he told them he had bigger fish to fry and fucked off. Now he’s fucked back on and told them all that he’s their leader. They initially object before reconsidering due to Doomtron but, yeah, its all gone full circle.

Doom is a lot more cordial to Molecule Man though.

Doom: “Molecule Man... uh, Mr. Reece, I believe it is? I trust you were not inconvenienced.”

Molecule Man: “Well, being absolute master of molecules I can just assimilate molecules when I want, so I never have to be hungry, and I can just shoo away dirt molecules, so I’m always nice and clean -- but I am tired!”

Doom: “I have prepared a special chamber for you! I hope you like it!”

Molecule Man: “If not, I can always reconstruct the molecules -- !”

Heh.

Nice to see Jim Shooter able to follow up on the trajectory he sent Molecule Man on.

The rest of the villains head off but Doctor Octopus, the only other brain cell in this group, hangs back to talk to DOOM.

He wants to know what he plans to do about Galactus and then shows Doom on the biggest screen TV that Galactus is standing on a mountain glowing with an awesome power.

Doom just retorts that his plans are for his forces to triumph.

Doctor Octopus: Something tells me he’s got ambitions that dwarf merely triumphing in the Beyonder’s little contest! The question is whether he will destroy us in trying to achieve them -- or immediately after fulfilling them?!

Like I said, the only other brain cell in this group.

Meanwhile, while Magneto secretly sneaks into the hero fortress for Reasons, the heroes have a quiet moment that lets this Secret Wars biz really sink in.

Wasp: “I’d be having tea in my studio now, Jenny... And lunch on my patio tomorrow... This... um... situation we’re in... is kind of... much, you know? I feel there’s just a little thin wall inside me holding back a flood of despair!”

Its a nice touch, if intentional, that Wasp only admits this kind of thing now that she’s passed off the leadership responsibilities to Captain America. Its been a recurring character beat that she’s been keeping these sorts of worries to herself as chairwoman.

Over in another part of the fortress, Cyclops complains that he was right in the middle of his dang honeymoon when he was yanked into this event.

Cyclops: “I don’t know about you, Richards, but more than angry or afraid, I feel cheated! I -- I was on the verge of real happiness...”

Oof. This really sets the tone for his marriage with Madelyne Pryor.

Spider-Man and the Human Torch even have a little conversation.

Spider-Man: “You mean it doesn’t shake you, Torch, being here? What if we don’t get home?”

Human Torch: “The Fantastic Four have been off on space missions a couple of times, Spider-Man! We’ll get back! Believe me!”

I like when they’re friends.

So, I’m not sure what Magneto’s plan actually was. He was going to sabotage the fortress’ fusion generator as a distraction but Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense Spider-Alerts him to shenanigans afoot and he runs off to the power plant while Johnny Storm goes to get the other heroes.

Magneto decides to abandon whatever his plan was and captures Wasp as a consolation prize.

Gasp, another prisoner of war!

The Thing tries to give chase but inexplicably turns back to normal, smooth skinned Ben Grimm.

Also, Magneto escapes with the Wasp.

It’s like the aardvark says, you can get what you want and still not be happy.

Captain Marvel is holding the randomly anti-mutant ball for Hawkeye here and comments that none of the X-Men showed up to help stop Magneto.

Cap(tain America) tells her to belay that.

Captain America: “Let’s keep our minds on solving problems, not creating more!”

And they can’t even go after Magneto or rescue the Wasp right now because they have bigger problems: Galactus glowing with an awesome power and a massive storm that’s forming on Battleworld.

July, 1984

TEMPEST WITHOUT, CRISIS WITHIN!

The Beyonder has thrown in a nice stage hazard to keep things fresh in the form of a massive storm raging on Battleworld, with lighting that shatters mountains and winds that could tear someone’s limbs clean off.

Or perhaps its the unintentional result of just slapping a planet together out of random stuff you have lying around. The climate must be shot to shit.

I like it either way. Secret Wars has a lot of very toyetic collisions between groups of characters so its nice when Battleworld itself manages to be an obstacle.

Over in his giant U-shaped fortress, Magneto finally unwraps Wasp from the ball of random metal crap he has her in.

He lets her wander around until she finds him so that he can be all casual and eating a space scone.

Magneto: “Do not bother trying to attack me, my dear! My person is magnetically shielded!”

Wasp: “Well, la-de-da!”

Wasp: -blows up his space scone- “You think I have to strike at you directly to hurt you, monster?”

Hilarious spite, thy name is Janet van Dyne.

She also makes the point that magnetic shielding or no, she could bring this whole room down. Her being able to knock over a small house with her pew pew hasn’t stopped being true.

Magneto hastens to ask her not to do that because neither of them want to be out in the storm outside.

Besides, he just wants to talk! And flirt!

Magneto: “You are obviously a woman of intelligence and understanding as well as great beauty -- and I am not the monster you believe I am -- which is precisely what I wish to discuss!”

Wasp: “Oh? My intelligence, understanding and beauty or your non-monsterhood?”

Magneto: “Why... both!”

Back at the hero base (which is apparently ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF CHICAGO?? I want that playset), the storm has almost completely flooded the area, leaving just the top dome and such poking above the water.

The storm keeps dropping chunks of mountain at the base but Thor is standing on top, protecting it while grinning like a loon.

Captain Marvel even speculates that Thor could calm the storm but is whipping it up into a greater frenzy instead. Those storm gods, amirite?

Hawkeye is also standing by, with his explosive arrow, thinking to himself that if Thor fails, Hawkeye will totally save the day.

I don’t know whether that’s sad or endearing.

Mostly though he’s trying to distract himself from thinking about the new wife he left behind.

Cap, Reed, and Hulk are watching the villain base because apparently they do know where it is. The storm is keeping the villains in too but Cap figures they’ll pull one desperate attack as soon as the storm breaks.

They’ve already lost four of their dudes. Plus, Galactus isn’t a team player.

Spider-Man is just swinging around, enjoying how good for swinging the random technological pipes and tubes and whatsits are when he stumbles upon the X-Men having a secret meeting.

Professor X has decided, possibly on the basis of two (2) rude comments from Hawkeye and Captain Marvel, that the X-Men just don’t belong here and that they’d be better off going and teaming up with Magneto.

This... sure is a take.

Rogue comments that the Avengers don’t trust her because of that time she kicked their asses collectively. Which, hey, very possibly. They haven’t really had a thing to say about you though. They’ve mostly been grouchy about Magneto.

Which is kinda born out by the way he tried to blow up their base and definitely kidnapped the Wasp?? And is even now aggressively eating scones at her?

That’s the Magneto you guys want to go join because he’s more your people than the Fantastic Avengers and friends are?

You know, there’s a pattern I sometimes see with the X-Men where they loudly insist that the other superheroes don’t help them and don’t care about mutant stuff while at the same time doing shit like this.

“Should we get Reed Richards, smartest dick in the world to help with the legacy virus or the techno-organic virus Stryfe shot into Xavier? NAHHHH Beast can handle it.”

“Should we stick with the other superheroes or go hang with Magneto instead in a cool mutants only U-shaped fortress? Well, U is the coolest letter that isn’t X...”

If you squint, you can definitely see Krakoa all the way in the future.

Anyway, Spider-Man overheard all of this and goes ‘I’M TELLING!’

Wolverine tries to tell him that snitches get stitches but the thing is?

Spider-Man is ridiculous. He’s a ridiculously good combination of skills and powers which lets him make chumps out of entire groups at a time.

He’s embarrassed the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and now he’s about to embarrass the X-Men.

After making them all feel foolish, Spider-Man gets away and goes to tell Reed what that doody-head Xavier said when Xavier uses his psychic powers to just wipe the entire encounter out of Spider-Man’s memory.

Yeah, it’s to cover their imminent blowing off but also? I don’t think he wants anyone else to find out how badly his X-Men just got stomped.

Psychics are too OP, I tell you what.

In fairness IN FAIRNESS, the X-Men kind of have the right to fuck right off if they wish. I don’t even know what it had to be in secret. In fact, doing it in secret is a massive dick move of its own for reasons.

What would the Fantastic Avengers have done if the X-Men had just said ‘hey we’re heading out’? Would they have put them in stasis tube jail? I doubt it.

Professor X made the decision to handle this the stupidest way for whatever reason. That scamp.

Speaking of Magneto, he’s over at the U-Lair turning down a partnership offer from DOOM. So, hey, he has standards.

Wasp has become less ‘i’ll blow up this room and your breakfast’ about him over the course of whatever the hell they discussed in their offscreen chat.

Magneto even starts to make out with her and Wasp is like ehhhhhhhhhh what the fuck why not.

Why is this happening?

I guess he has a...................... magnetic personality?

Eh? Eh??

No, but seriously, I do have a theory that I heard someplace but it’ll have to wait.

What’s weird is that there’s a Marvel What If about some spinoff babies that come about if the heroes and villains got stuck on Battleworld and never managed to leave.

Wasp has a son with Human Torch. Which is pretty weird and comes from nowhere. I guess a lot can happen during a massive time skip. My point being though, its weird that they didn’t have a Wasp/Magneto baby instead given the weird chemistry they have here.

Meanwhile, over at DOOMBASE, DOOM has some women in giant tubes.

That’s So Doom.

Doctor Doom: “All is ready -- ! This alien technology, so rich, so subtle... so easily harnessed to serve my purpose... Energy, tapped from the raging tempest... And two mortal subjects who dare to gamble for power -- knowing that to lose is death, for truly, here I shall test the limits of power a human body can contain! With the throwing of a switch... so -- the die is cast! Hear me -- ! Power must be seized -- ! Crave it! Welcome it! Drink it in, despite the pain... or it will destroy you.”

And thus are Volcana and Titania created!

Talk about lasting effects of Secret Wars! Titania is going to be around forever! Mostly annoying She-Hulk!

Where did Doom find two random women to give superpowers?

Denver, Colorado.

No, seriously.

That city chunk we saw as Battleworld formed? That’s Denver, Colorado, USA, EARTH.

Why isn’t there a miniseries or one-shot about a normal ass civilian from Denver having to deal with OH MY GOD WHERE DID EARTH GO?

I actually read an interesting thing re: this scene. It exists because Mattel asked Marvel to introduce some new female characters so Shooter wrote in these two and a third who I’ll get to when I do.

Mattel then promptly used none of these characters for the associated toyline.

The toyline, in fact, used none female characters at all. It made toys of characters who weren’t in the story but did not have a single female character.

So its very weird that they asked Marvel to introduce some but I’m not going to knock the results.

Doom introduces these two new characters to the other villains.

Hilariously, Absorbing Man guesses that Doctor Doom just made women from scratch. Because doesn’t it sound like something he could do?

Volcana and Molecule Man immediately hit it off, her being attracted to his sensitivity and him being attracted to... positive attention at all, I guess?

He muses that he could easily stop the storm outside, because molecules, but his therapist told him to let nature take its course. “Unless Doom asks me to!”

And Titania and Absorbing Man. They don’t hit it off. She either wants to hit him or hit that and its not clear and it might be both.

(Spoilers: Its both)

Titania: “You! Absorbing Man! You look like the toughest man here! Get up!”

Absorbing Man: “Whatcha got in mind?”

Titania: “I’m going to do anything I want to you! Everything I always wanted to do to everybody who used to be bigger and stronger than me! Maybe I’ll just play with you... or maybe I’ll make you eat dirt... or maybe...”

Absorbing Man: “Woman, if you got somethin’ to prove, prove it tomorrow against the guys we’re fightin’!”

Titania: “You’re backing down?”

Absorbing Man: “Nope! I just ain’t getting up! I got nothin’ to prove... to a dame!”

Would you believe that they become one of the healthiest and most stable romantic relationships in Marvel?

Speaking of weird relationships, back over at hero base, Thor goes and pops the lid on Enchanteress’ healing tube because he’s bored and wants to talk to a peer. A god peer.

Enchantress is at first more characteristically worried about what her face looks like after being She-Hulked.

But she then creates a portal so she and Thor can go have a chat.

Later, it’s morning and Hulk has been too busy stressing over losing his Banner smarts to actually keep watch or wake up Cap for watch like he was supposed to.

So when the villains ram an airship into the hero base, the heroes are not at all prepared.

Titania hurls a giant slab of wall through the room the Terrific Three are sharing, breaking Johnny Torch’s arm and ribs and knocking out the other two. He manages to get himself and co out of danger by melting through the floor.

Meanwhile, She-Hulk is carrying a big heavy as she’s been doing since the previous night and is caught unaware by Volcana who blasts her off her feet and then collapses the room on top of her.

Doctor Octopus knocks out Captain Marvel who is in the hot springs dome but gets chased away by Hawkeye, claiming that long-range firepower is his weakness.

I’m stunned at the implication that Doc Ock is one of Spider-Man’s most dangerous foes but could be scared off by Hawkeye while Spider-Man could pretty easily drop Clint’s ass. There’s some rock-paper-scissors nonsense at play here.

Spider-Man and Iron Man are also taken unawares by Ultron but manage to hide under some rubble.

Hulk leaps into the fray at Molecule Man and Doom but Cap convinces him to fall back to a defensible position.

The villains reconvene with all the captured villains freed except Enchantress (since she fucked off to have a chat with Thor) and the heroes scattered and buried under various rubbles. How the fortunes of Secret War turn.

Sure would have been nice if the X-Men had been around to help or if they mentioned they wouldn’t be. Sure would have been.

Doom: “We have accomplished much here today! And to finish it, we shall level this place so that no stone remains on stone!”

No wonder Mattel didn’t make a playset of this base! Dammit Doom, you’re ruining the merchandising!

Follow @essential-avengers​ for more of Secret Wars! At this same pace! Its sustainable! This is fine! Like and reblog too!

[kuramirocket]

LEXINGTON, Ohio (AP) — Salvador de Alba Jr. wants to be the next Sergio Perez, Pato O'Ward or Daniel Suarez, a Mexican race car driver who advances to a major international series.

His journey started this week at Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course, where de Alba tested an Indy Lights car for Andretti Autosport. He had never before been in an Indy car and estimated he ran "at least 6,000 laps" around the 2.258-mile road course online on iRacing to prepare.

Just driving the Lights car for Andretti would have been enough to call his trip to Ohio a success. But de Alba had a fully immersive experience that went beyond his wildest dreams. The 21-year-old got tips ahead of the test from fellow Mexican driver O'Ward, watched his first live IndyCar race and then traveled to Indianapolis to visit the Andretti shop and take a private tour of Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

"It was better than going to Disney," de Alba told the Associated Press. "Everything was new for me, it was my first experience with an IndyCar race weekend. It was 'Wow' for me to meet all the drivers. Then to race that cool of a car, visit a shop and see Indianapolis Motor Speedway — I think I had a very complete experience."

De Alba was accompanied by his father and Michel Jourdain Jr., who raced nine seasons in CART and won a pair of races and finished third in the 2003 series standings. Jourdain has twice raced in the Indianapolis 500, dabbled in NASCAR's Xfinity and Truck Series, and is still active today in Mexico in the Super Copa Championship.

Jourdain won the Super Copa title last season but for 2021 aligned with Michael Andretti to form Andretti Jourdain Autosport for that series. Jourdain is determined to help young Mexican drivers advance, an initiative backed by Andretti, and after racing against de Alba the past five years he highlighted the second-generation racer from Guadalajara as a budding prospect.

De Alba is the current points leader in both NASCAR Peak Mexico and Super Copa, two series that use full-bodied cars. He holds a five point advantage ahead of three-time NASCAR Mexico series champion Ruben Garcia, who has three career Xfinity Series starts, headed into this weekend's race in Puebla.

"One of the main goals of the Andretti Jourdain partnership is to bring young Mexican and Latin drivers into the IndyCar world," Jourdain told the AP. "That includes crew members and finding ways to expand racing talent outside of Mexico."

The Mexican market is hot right now with Perez in his first season driving for Red Bull in Formula One, 22-year-old O'Ward in the thick of IndyCar's championship race and Suarez a key building block of Trackhouse Racing in NASCAR. Justin Marks, owner of Trackhouse, has partnered with entertainer Pitbull on the team and along with Suarez is building a program designed to tap into the lucrative U.S. Latin market.

Perez and Suarez both have financial backing from Mexican companies and now de Alba wants to capitalize on the moment his fellow countrymen are enjoying: Canelo Alvarez is the unified super middleweight world champion, Brandon Moreno is the first Mexican to win a UFC championship, Karina Rodriguez is the first Mexican to win an Invicta MMA title and Andrea Meza was crowned 2021 Miss Universe in May.

"I feel very proud to be part of the group that is getting recognized," O'Ward said recently. "I think it's been great that we've seen very different athletes doing really well in their certain sport, whether it is UFC, boxing, Checo in Formula One, me in IndyCar, the lady that won the Miss Universe, it's really cool."

De Alba already has some backing from three companies that helped him get his test with Andretti. He has returned to Mexico to talk with primary backers Grupo Indi, Mecano and Sidral AGA/Red Cola about his next moves.

He said he wants to join the Road to Indy system, the feeder program that Andretti heavily invests in to develop future IndyCar drivers. It will take financial backing from his own sponsors for de Alba to make it to the U.S., but Jourdain believes the success of Perez, O'Ward and Suarez have reignited an interest in Mexican racers.

The last Mexican driver to win an IndyCar race was Adrian Fernandez at California in 2004.

"It's a lot cheaper to race in Mexico and you have very, very good drivers and I think if you are competitive in Mexico, I believe you can be competitive in the U.S.," Jourdain said. "It is a good moment for Mexico and there are opportunities right now for Mexican companies to support young talents internationally."

After six days immersed in IndyCar, de Alba is certain he wants to find his way into a U.S.-based series. He sometimes sees Perez at local karting tracks and the F1 star is always willing to help young racers, and he knows both O'Ward and Suarez.

His time was so fulfilling, de Alba's mother complained he wasn't calling home with updates.

"I was like 'Hey, Mom, I have lots of things to process and when I come back I will tell you everything,'" de Alba said. "It was a dream, and it gives me all the motivation to come back and do more, to do more tests, run races and race here in the United States."

[buckybarnesbingo]

BBB Week 28 Roundup!

This includes our Discord party Round Robin fic, as well as a bunch of other amazing works!

Congratulations to Minka, PherryT, and Poliz for winning tokens!  The tokens were the prizes for the drawing of all the names of those who joined the Discord party.

Title: The First and Last Night Collaborator: pherryt Link: AO3 Square Filled: C5 - Clothes stealing Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, nsfw art, 1940′s Summary: When Bucky was ready to ship out, the last thing he expected was for his best friend to give him a night to remember, a night worth coming back for. Steve was always worth coming back for, but knowing Steve wanted Bucky the way Bucky wanted him? It took Bucky's breath away... Word Count: 5554

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Title: Unexpected Collaborator: arrowsandmixtapes Link: Tumblr Square Filled: U4 - Precision Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Teen Major Tags: Canon-typical gun use (target training, no violence). Summary: Training at the gun range leads to an unexpected interaction with Sergeant Barnes. Word Count: 1030

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Title: We Regret The Inconvenience Collaborator: plutosrose Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Meet Cute Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: New York City Subway, Job Interviews, meet cute, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Networking works best if you meet Captain America on a train, Porn Watching, Thirsty Bucky Barnes Summary: “That’s the third time that’s happened today,” blond guy said. For a moment, Bucky hadn’t realized that he was talking to him, but of course, he must have been. There wasn’t anyone else in the damn train car. A stray thought occurred to him–that people could have written sonnets about this man’s eyes--before he shook it off. “No offense, but if I see you on the next train, I’m getting off.” - Bucky gets stuck in a train car with a guy who turns out to be Captain America. Word Count: 2519

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Title: Magic Happens Collaborator: Caiti (Caitriona_3) Link: AO3 Square Filled: U2 - Clint Barton Ship: Clint/Darcy/Bucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, moodboard & one-shot Summary: Natasha is tired of watching these three tiptoe around each other and they don’t have time for it right now. So she’s going to interfere. They can thank her for it later. Word Count: 1579

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Title: The Curious Witch and the Cursed Wolf - Chapter 3: A Name and A Feeling Collaborator: riotfalling Link: AO3 Square Filled: B4 - warm and fuzzy feelings Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: fantasy AU, witch!Tony, wolf!Bucky, fairytale vibes, Non-graphic injury Summary: Once upon a time there was a man, and a wolf. They both went into the forest looking for different things, and instead they found each other. Word Count: 1697

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Title: Sacred Trust Collaborator: caiti-creative-corner Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B5 - Bodyguard Ship: Bucky/Clint/Darcy Rating: Teen Major Tags: moodboards, fantasy AU Summary: Dark rebellion and a queen on the run. Two unexpected champions. Will Queen Darcy get her throne back … and what will she do about the two bloodstained men who were her only support during her darkest days?

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Title: My fuckbuddy is nice to my cat, and other serious problems (that Bucky has at 1 in the morning) Collaborator: Minka Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y5 -  Ship: Stucky Rating: Mature Major Tags: explicit sexual content, language Summary: “Hey, girl,” Steve said, crouching down low to scratch Alpine behind the ears. “How’s it going?” Alpine was a fluffy mess under Steve’s hands, rubbing and pressing and meowing like she was the one with a hard-on trapped in jeans that were already far too tight. Bucky watched with a combination of amusement and mild displeasure at being ignored. ---- When his frequent booty call is nice to his insufferable cat, Bucky starts to worry that his blood is rushing back up to his head. Word Count: 8682

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Title: Treasure Hunt Collaborator: ibelieveinturtles Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y2 - desert island Ship: Brock/Darcy/Bucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: cheating (kind of but not really) Summary: Brock Rumlow has deserted the Hydra, taking a prisoner and a precious cargo with him. In return for sanctuary, he promises the crew of the Nomad treasure beyond their wildest dreams, but what will they really find? Word Count: 3188

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Title: A Dead Man's Face Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K1 - In memoriam Ship: Bucky & Steve Rating: Teen Major Tags: Winter Soldier, brainwashing, partial amnesia Summary: The Winter Soldier knows that he was once called Bucky Barnes, and had a childhood friend called Steve Rogers. The Winter Soldier knows that Captain America is his enemy and the enemy of everything Hydra stands for. The Winter Soldier now knows that Captain America is the type of man - monster - who would use the face of Bucky’s dead friend as a weapon against him. But he will not falter; he has a mission. Word Count: 530

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Title: Sexting Stucky Collaborator: BookDragon13 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B5 - Bucky/Steve Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: sexting, Daddy kink, implications of sex, sub!Steve Summary: Steve interrupts Bucky’s after mission debriefing concentration with a text Word Count: 375

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Title: An Unexpected Gift Collaborator: caiti-creative-corner Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y1 - Friends to Lovers Ship: Clint/Darcy/Bucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: unplanned pregnancy, moodboard Summary: Clint and Bucky are friends with benefits who decide to bring in another friend on one particularly memorable night. The three of them enjoyed themselves immensely and had plans to follow up with more, but their conflicting schedules got in the way. Fast forward five or six weeks and Darcy finds out that their fun left her with an unexpected gift. Word Count: 1569

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Title: BBB Round Robin Fic - October 2020 Collaborators: eachpeachpearplum, Menatiera, Rise Up Ting Ting Like Glitter, rebelmeg, LadyDarkPhoenix, LiquidLightz, Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Squares Filled: eachpeachpearplum, Y3 - waking up married Menatiera, B3 - Team dynamics Ting, Y1 - waking up married rebelmeg, C1 - tattoos LadyDarkPhoenix, Y1 - ballet LiquidLightz, U2 - Prisoners / Captives Together Fighting_for_Creativity, K2 - “Are you even trying?” Ship: Bucky/Avengers Rating: Teen Major Tags: accidental marriage, magic, tattoos, implied polyamory Summary: Bucky wakes up with a ring on his finger. And he's not the only one... Word Count: 1979

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Title: Ice Bound - Chapter 1 Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y1 - image of Steve and Bucky post-Azzano Ship: Bucky & Steve Rating: Teen Major Tags: Bucky & Steve Summary: Steve and Bucky are Bonded. From the day they first meet they are inseparable – best friends and brothers – hardly a day goes past without the other’s company. People say they are lucky, finding each other so young, so close, never having to search and wonder; they say that it is a sign of the strength of their bond. They will need that strength. Word Count: 615