#the crazy emperor daddy

[inthiskingdomwewillendure]

Favorite Character in a TV Show 2023

Lee Pace as Brother Day /Cleon/ Empire in Foundation

[henrycangelbaby]

Before she can even react to his arrival, he throws himself at her, half perching himself in her lap; she giggles at him while he throws his arms around her tightly, burying her face in his chest while the flowers in his hands hit her gently on the back; he rocks them back and forward for a second before pulling back. 

Or

Fred Hechinger loves his wife and his babies more than anything.

Late nights aren't exactly a foreign concept in the Hechinger household. Back when he was young(er), he can recall the many nights he and Y/N spent lying awake into the early hours of the morning, staying up late more for novelty than anything. Now it feels like more of a necessity than anything. 

It's not every single night, but more often than not, the late hours of the evening after everyone else has gone to bed are the only times when he and Y/N can spend time (mostly) uninterrupted by small human beings. 

Family life had changed Fred, he liked to think that it was for the better. He could say with full certainty that starting a family with the love of his life was a change that was most certainly for the better; he knew that he was biased considering that she was his wife, but he would testify in court that she somehow managed to get more and more beautiful every single day. He thinks back fondly to when they were young, when he was merely a slightly awkward teenager and had fallen for the prettiest girl in the back of his English class. He had sworn that she was the most beautiful girl he could ever possibly lay his eyes on; now, as she sat next to him in the dim lighting of the living room, she seemed impossibly more beautiful. 

Two kids later and a third one on the way, everything seemed to be perfect. A beautiful wife, two lovely daughters, and a career that was finally going his way, things seemed to be going the way that he and Y/N would stay up late dreaming about. 

This night is another late night. He had been working all day and had missed his family terribly; he tried desperately to get home early, and most nights he did. Getting in during the afternoon so he could help with dinner and bedtime was one of the most scared parts of his days. He didn't make it home till dark tonight; the long day had tired him out and began to get on his nerves the longer that it went on. Of course, he had stayed polite, waving everyone off when it had finally ended, rushing to his car. 

He had a plan in his mind since he had found out he was to be staying late; he had texted Y/N apologizing many times over, but she had just brushed him off like the angel she was, assuring him that it was fine, texting with a few updates throughout the evening. The last text message featuring a photo of his youngest daughter curled up sleeping in her bed, her Christmas teddy (that she kept with her all year round after being gifted him a few Christmases ago). He stops briefly at the supermarket; he knew that Y/N didn't care, that she would never hold this against him, and any problem that they could have would be resolved. They had promised each other a long time ago that they would never keep secrets, any problems they ever had would always be talked about, and they could tell each other anything. 

The flowers sitting in his passenger seat make him feel a little better; he knew he didn't really need to, but in his eyes there is never a wrong time to get his wife flowers. 

He pushes through the front door quietly, well aware that too much noise would wake one if not both of his kids. He spots Y/N instantly, sitting on the couch with her eyebrows furrowed, looking down at something presumably puzzling on her phone. Before she can even react to his arrival, he throws himself at her, half perching himself in her lap; she giggles at him while he throws his arms around her tightly, burying her face in his chest while the flowers in his hands hit her gently on the back; he rocks them back and forward for a second before pulling back. 

“Hi, Freddy.” Y/N says, smiling up at him. 

“Hi, dove,” he responds, leaning down to kiss her softly on the lips. 

He pulls back after a second of lingering in the kiss. He plops himself down next to her, dramatically pulling the flowers out from behind his back and placing them in Y/N's lap. 

“for you,” he smiles cheerily. 

Y/N looks at them, her face dropping slightly. 

“Hey, you didn’t hav—“ she starts. He cuts her off before she can finish, placing his finger over her mouth and mockingly shaking his head at her. 

“I know, but I wanted to, okay?” Fred explains gently, “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it home tonight; did it go okay?” He asks. 

Y/N shuffles closer to him, tucking her feet underneath her legs, allowing her husband to place his arm around her shoulder. 

“Yeah, it was mostly fine; Immy threw a fit about having to go to bed at the same time as Lucy.” 

Fred snorted at this; Imogen had taken to being an older sister enthusiastically until she realized that it would mean more than a few changes around the house. 

“but nothing completely out of the ordinary, I suppose,” she finishes.

Fred moved his hand down to her stomach, gently rubbing over it in what he hopes are somewhat soothing movements.  

“How are you? They've been giving you trouble today?” he asks, referring to the newest little one currently still being housed in his wife's stomach.  

They had left a gender a mystery for this one, but deep down Fred had been hoping for another little girl; of course, he would be happy with anything as long as they were happy and healthy, but he was already so severely outnumbered in his home, and it was the best thing to ever happen to him. What was one more? 

“I mean, my back is a little sore, but what is new?” Y/N jokes, going into her third pregnancy, back pain had become a way of life.  

“Did you eat enough?” Fred asked  

He knew it was patronizing that Y/N could take care of herself as well as their two children, but he worried; he couldn’t help it, especially when she had been very sick with her last pregnancy, feeling far too nauseous to eat much for the majority of her pregnancy. Everything had worked out fine in the end, and Fred had never eaten so many crackers in his life; the worrying had persisted (like it usually did) through her postpartum and onto the next one.  

“Sometimes I think that you will end up worrying yourself sick.” Y/N comments it's half serious. 

“Don’t worry about me, angel; I’m fine. I just want to make sure you’re fine.” Fred replied, smiling a little bit; all this talk of worrying was going to send them both to an early grave. 

“I ate a late breakfast, felt a little bad this morning, but it cleared pretty quick.” Y/N said truthfully, 

She had felt sick this morning, but it had gone away faster than expected. She wasn’t even trying to make her doting husband feel better. Fred cocked an eyebrow, smirking slightly as if he didn’t believe her. Y/N opened her mouth again to defend herself but was instead interrupted by Fred leaning down for another kiss.  

“That's good,” he said between a few quick kisses.  

They don’t make it much longer; midnight has passed, and Y/N’s yawns had become more and more frequent. Fred looked around the room, quickly spotting the dirty dishes and unpacked dishwasher. 

“Dove?” He asks, and she only hums in response, meeting his eye drowsily. “Go up to bed; yeah, I’ll pack the dishwasher and be up soon, okay?” He promises pulling them both up to stand,  

He knew that she would usually go to fight him on this, but she didn’t have the energy today, having spent all day looking after the girls while being multiple months pregnant, tiring her out fully. Y/N only nodded in agreement, placing a soft kiss on Fred’s neck before moving towards the stairs. 

The dishwasher took no time at all, and Fred was upstairs showering quietly before he knew it. His dove had passed out cold in their bed. She looked very beautiful even in sleep, clean and comfortable. He crept quietly to check on the girls. Anabel was asleep peacefully, Christmas plushie still clutched tightly in her grip. He leaned down, pushing her fringe back to kiss her forehead gently. He fought the urge to pick her up and pull her close to his chest; he didn’t want to wake her, but he had missed her so much, a kiss would suffice for now. 

He moved along to Lucy’s room, pushing the door open slowly, his eldest seemingly sleeping peacefully in her big girl bed. He did the same as he had done before, kissing her lightly on the forehead before moving to leave. He was about to push the door closed behind him when a small voice spoke out.

“Daddy?” He turned around at the sound of his “name” to see Lucy awake and now sitting up in her bed.  

“What’s up, baby?” He asked, turning back towards her, sitting down on the bed, allowing Lucy to snuggle into his side.  

“I missed you today,” she pouts up at him; she looks sweet, but she also breaks his heart. He hates the sentiment, hates that his family has to miss him while he’s off working; he loves his job but not the commitment.  

“I missed you too, baby, more than you know,” Fred promises, gently pulling Lucy impossibly close. 

He allows them to cuddle for a while; Lucy should most definitely be asleep, but he can’t resist having her close for a little longer. She babbles for a while, yapping about her day to her ever-loving father. Eventually she begins to tire herself out, yawning frequently and her eyes drooping more and more. Fred put her back now in the bed gently; she attempted to protest weakly, sweet “no daddy’s” falling from her lips, but it was all futile. She gave in to sleep easily, pulling her daddy's hand close to her chest much like she would with a plushie. Fred pried his hand out from her surprisingly firm grip, using it to brush over her forehead. 

“Love you, baby,” he whispered, pulling himself up and gently closing the door. 

The entire house was asleep as he crept into his own bed, his lovely wife already sleeping soundly, much like his girls. Pulling his wife under his arm, his hand resting over her swollen stomach. He soothed over a small kick that made him smile. 

“Goodnight, angel, love you endlessly,” he whispered to a sleeping Y/N.

Even if she wasn’t listening, it didn’t matter; he would say it anyway; it brought a warmth to his cheeks. This was his everything, the love of his life, his family, and they were perfect, so perfect, he would never love anything more.

a/n: yayaya! Ily Fred hechinger I need you so bad. This took so long to finish one. But it’s finally here! Idk if it kinda sucks or not but who cares because I’m having his baby!!!! Anyways much love! Talk to me in my inbox I miss u guys. #fredhechingergotmepregant??

[ravens-two]

PAC: Your First Time With Your Person 18+

This reading includes:

how your first time will be like w/ your person

where and how it might happen

The extended reading includes:

what you will think about it

what your person will think about it

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Emperor rx, Two of Pentacles rx, Tower, Chariot | Sun god

"Come all, come now; expand into the skies and into the shadows below."

Hi pile 1, the energy here is very very masculine and dominant. I feel like most of you will be the more submissive energy so I'm going to focus on that for the reading, but please switch it around if you feel like it applies better to you that way. Anyhow, there isn't any switching or "equality" here, this is straight up power exchange energy. You are giving in to your person, letting them do whatever they want with you, complete surrender. This isn't scary for you though, you are doing this because you trust them completely and know they will take care of you. Honestly, despite this whole power play thing (I'm even seeing some manhandling) the sex will be super loving. I truly don't see it being rough or your person calling you names or anything like that. It's like they want to make love to you, they want to make sure that every single one of your needs is taken care of, but they don't want you to lift a finger. Just lay there and let them make you feel good, basically. Ooof, your person isn't shy about what they want, pile 1.

I think that this might happen either during the day or you will go all night long until sunrise (I think that for most of you it's the later). I also get the feeling that this will happen during spring/summer, or on a nice weather day. For most of you this is also happening in a bedroom. The energy I'm getting is that you and your person will want complete privacy and knowing that you have the time to do whatever you two want. For a smaller part of you this might begin in the car and then you move to the bedroom. The energy here is very explosive, it's like at first you're not really sure if you want to do this now, but then all of a sudden you can't think about anything else. I think that you'll be trying to convince yourself not do it at first for whatever reason.

I can't stop hearing the song "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC, so this is some more confirmation that the sex is going to last awhile. Honestly, you should check out this song's lyrics if you aren't familiar, because I feel like it's totally the vibe of your first time with your person. They are crazy about you, pile 1, like crazy crazy. They have wanted to do this for a long time.

Also, let me warn you to make sure you're protected if you can get pregnant! Like, pregnancy is the energy here so be careful if that's a possibility for you. Not to be too explicit, but I'm also seeing a lot of fluids and playing with them, so make of that what you will. Also, if your person is a man he is BIG.

I think that some of you have like a daddy kink or authority figure kink and it's something that it will come into play as well. I think that they'll enjoy it very much as well. There's multiple orgasms here, and I think that you'll be coming very fast and very hard. It will be earth-shattering. For some of you I'm also seeing that the man might finish first - for some it might be a bit disappointing, but your person will make it up to you; for others though I think that it's because you're starting with oral first. Also, if you have breasts they love playing with your breasts, or maybe it's playing with nipples in general. But, yeah this will start with a lot of foreplay and then you guys will have multiple rounds.

Pile 2

Eight of Wands, Ace of Wands, Nine of Pentacles, Fool | Maiden

"Demand what is yours and take back what was taken. Reclaim until you've gathered all of you."

Pile 2, hi! The first thing I'm getting from this pile is that this will be your first time having sex. If this doesn't apply to you, it might be your first time having sex after a long pause or the first time having sex with someone of a certain gender, but if neither applies it might be that this pile isn't for you. I think that for most people this is about losing their virginity, though. No matter the case, I think that this will be really lovely. Your person will make you feel like a god/dess. There's a lot of passion here.

Just like pile 1, I think that this will happen in a "safe" setting, most likely in your bedroom or your person's bedroom. I think that this place has a feeling of luxury to it, even if it isn't exactly luxurious if that makes sense. Basically, it's very tidy, well organized, beautifully decorated, you feel welcome and relaxed in this place. I'm actually seeing a fur rug and throw blankets on a bed, so really comfy. I think that for most of you this isn't planned. I think that it just kind of happens that you have your person over or that you are at their place and then they do something that just makes you think "that's it, I need them". I get this feeling that you just suddenly realize how much you love and trust in this person so you try to initiate. I see you being a bit awkward at first, but you'll find your footing quickly. Before anything happens though I see you making out with your person and feeling each other up for a long time, then your person will ask you if you're really sure about that and then all hell breaks lose.

I think that you have a lot of pent up energy and desire and you want to get it out as quickly as possible, but your person will take over a little bit and slow you down. For one, they know that it might be a big mistake to rush you, but also they want to be thorough with it. This person wants to get to know every single inch of you, they want to know what you like, what you love, what you don't care for. They want to explore your body and consume you. It's like body worship really. It's like they don't want you to think about anything else, but their body on yours. (I also get the vibe that some of you are very anxious or over thinkers and your person really wants to make sure that you're grounded for once). I also get this vibe that your person thinks that you're a bit of a brat, in the best way possible though. I see them laughing as they say that.

Just like pile 1, please make sure to use protection if there's any possibility of a pregnancy. I think that there will be a lot of foreplay and you'll be having at least one or two orgasms before penetration (also if your person is a man I think that they're bigger than average). Your person really wants you to feel good. I don't see you having multiple rounds because I think that you're going to be exhausted pile 2. Maybe the next day, though. Afterwards you're just going to cuddle with your person and have some aftercare. And, also let me tell you that you person is amazing with aftercare they're just so loving and gentle, not wanting you to move a finger and making sure that you're completely taken care of. They may bring you some food and drinks and then tell you to take a nap.

I think that you'll be a bit transformed by this first time. It might be a bit different for everyone and that's why I can't really see how. But it will change the way you view yourself, your sexuality and even your person. I think that it will help you to bond even more with your person.

Pile 3

Lovers, Ten of Pentacles, Temperance, Queen of Pentacles | Self-worship

"My hands fold as I speak to the stars, watching as the sky holds its breath. It's in stillness that I find all that I am and all of divinity within me."

Pile 3, this is probably the most romantic pile here and honestly that's saying something because they've all been super sweet. But this is 100% old-fashioned romance. I can actually see it very clearly that you're going out with your person, maybe out to dinner at a fancy or fancier place and then going either to a hotel or to one of your places to continue the night. This is the only pile that I see going to a hotel actually. But, your person will give you flowers, I think that it will be red roses for most of you (a classic of course), but for others it will be a bit more personalized, like let's say that you love tulips then that's what your person will get you. I actually just heard that your person wants to wine you and dine you and in more than one way lmao. They're funny.

For this pile I think that you have been dating this person for a while, but you're taking things slow. I just get the feeling that you two really love each other - deeply - and you know each other well. This doesn't feel like something that would happen after two or three dates. You might actually know this person before you start dating too. Anyway, as I was saying this is old-fashioned romance. I see candles and rose petals on the bed. Some of you might actually start by taking a bath together or giving a massage to one another. I just see it being very sensual, but calm. You're not rushing here, you both clearly want this, but you know that you have time and it feels so much better to draw it out like this. You're like the third pile where I have to say this, but use protection if you can pregnant! Y'all are very fertile.

I think that you're going to start with oral, and for some of you there's even 69ing here. I'm also seeing lots of fluids here. Like, even your bodies are wet with sweat or from your bath or massage. But this feels very wet, let's put it like that. With the Lovers and Temperance here this is such more than sex for you guys. It's truly like two people becoming one, body and soul. I don't see you two talking much, it's like you don't need to, the connection between you two is so powerful and so deep it's almost magical. There's lots of hand-holding, gazing into each others eyes, holding each other close. It's so, so sweet. I think that you might tear up from emotion, from how much you love them. When it comes to positions I see you guys sitting, cowgirl and missionary. But, basically, it will be whatever can give you as much closeness as possible. I also see you person holding your face, like cradling your head and running their hands through your hair.

Honestly, this will be transcendental for you guys, you might even get like an out of body experience when you orgasm. It will be very very intense. I see some of you describing it as almost being a religious experience. I see that some of you will be squirting for the first time, so that might also be intense. This is just for a few of you I think, but you might have sex in front of a mirror or they might start it by touching you in front of a mirror. Almost being like "do you see how beautiful you are?", etc, that sort of thing. The aftercare will also be very sweet, and I see you being so in love with each other afterwards. Just talking and holding each other until you fall asleep.

Pile 4

Two of Swords, Knight of Pentacles, Four of Wands rx, Three of Wands | The lovers

"Love lulls all sorrow and bewitches flesh, mind and breath, reminding me that I am unafraid of the unfurling winds of my eternity."

Pile 4, this is the most negative pile out of them all. I'm really sorry for that. I would much prefer that they were all amazing and without any problems. I don't think that it's anything serious, but it will vary from person to person. Most of all, what I feel in this pile is anxiety and almost not feeling comfortable in your body. I think that some people here have sexual trauma, relationship trauma, or even body trauma. There might even have some eating disorders in this pile. No matter what it is and no matter the seriousness of the situation, it has left you uncomfortable with your body and with sex. So, I feel like most of you are going into this with a lot of anxiety. It's almost like you want this but you don't at the same time. I'm getting a very specific message that it's only meant for a couple of you: you might have sex with a stranger or hook-up with someone (basically something you wouldn't normally do) just to prove to yourself that you can. It's almost like you're trying to do exposure therapy to yourself. Now, I'm not saying if it's right or wrong, it's not my place to judge really, but just be careful.

For most of you though, this is happening with a partner. I think that you're going to be a bit unsure at the beginning, you want to want it, but you're not really there yet. Your partner is going to be incredible here, because they're going to move really slowly to get you as comfortable as possible and stopping to see if you're alright. I see them showering you with affection and basically praising you to the heavens. They're going to be super careful with touching you, up to a point where it almost annoys you and then you start to become more active let's say. I think that you're going to take charge of the situation at a certain point and guide your partner on how you need it. And honestly I think that they're very much into it.

Throughout the whole thing you're a bit self-conscious. I think that you might be suffering from low self-esteem and you're not entirely comfortable with your body and how you look. This might mean that you have sex basically in the dark, with very little light to make you comfortable. I don't think that this is happening in your house, so that adds a little bit to your anxiety, because you're in an unfamiliar place. I can't get much more information about it, it's almost like your person is trying to protect you and your privacy which is really sweet.

However, I see that you will be left very satisfied at the end lol. Not only that though, you will be feeling much more confident in yourself and your sexuality. I'm seeing you feeling so sexy at the end. It's probably because of your partner too. They'll be like "do you see what you did to me?" and completely disheveled, and you'll be like "oh shit". This will be a turning point for you. I'm really happy for you, pile 4! When it comes to your relationship it will also be taking it to the next level, not just intimacy-wise, but also in the trust that you have in each other.

[slaytheusurper]

⭑ The Art of Combat ⭑ (Chapter Three, Domina Mea)

Masterlist

A/N: This is a bit of a crazy one, lots of screaming-

Pairing: Emperor Caracalla & Geta x Noble!Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of death, mentions of neglect, lowkey reader having daddy issues, Acacius has PTSD, confrontations, arguments, macrinus being a snake and touchy emperors.

Summary: The banquet of the Emperors could not have gone worse as they try to win you over.

Word count: 4.5k

It had been two days since your near death experience, but it felt like a blessing almost. Even though your father didn’t want you to progress in your ‘relationship’ with the Emperors, you did. And it felt good, their attention filled a hole you had left empty for so long. Lucilla tried her best to fill it, to bring you and your father closer. Perhaps out of motherly love, perhaps out of guilt. 

It was now you who was avoiding him, it felt useless to explain to him why you didn’t see the harm of socialising with the Emperors. But he saw it very differently, you knew that but that didn’t change how his behaviour seemed almost hypocritical to you. To you it seemed best to avoid him for now and let things cool off. 

You were on your way to Athena’s temple, in previous situations when you weren’t sure what to do, you would try and talk to her, hoping she would pour some of her wisdom into your mind. But alas, your questions and pleas would often be left unanswered. However, now that you were closer to her temple, you felt the need to try again, maybe- just maybe she would answer you in her place of worship. 

Arriving at her temple, an immediate feeling of relief and calm washed over you. Ordering the guards your father had insisted come with you, to stay outside, you entered the holy place. You found few people there, most of them were working women, upon passing them they glanced away. You continued your way to her statue and when you stood in front of it, you could taste her righteousness in the air you breathed. So you knelt, and prayed.

It hadn’t been long before you decided to head back to your fathers estate. You definitely felt more at ease and confident about your actions, even though the goddess did not speak to you. The guards were still in the exact same spot you left them. The day was warm and bright, causing your eyes to squint the whole way back. You were certainly grateful for the carriage that brought you back home.

Almost instantly upon setting foot back at the estate, you felt like something was wrong. Servant seemed anxious and rushed and guards were shifting on their feet. You knew your tranquil spirit was about to vanish into thin air. Lucilla paced around in the inner courtyard, pinching the bridge of her nose while doing so.

Upon hearing new footsteps, she looked up. You only gave her one questionable look while approaching her before she clarified why the whole of the estate was in distress. 

“We received an invitation today, yet again, from the Emperors.” She huffed, fiddling with her rings in the process. Your face lit up but dimmed just as soon as it lit when Lucilla seemed to grow even more frustrated. “Listen to me, this is not good.” Lucilla looked around before continuing, “If they are fully set on you there is no telling what they will do with you, I fear for your safety but who fears even more for your safety is your father.” 

You rolled your eyes at her words. “And where was this ‘fear’ when he left me alone, out of his grasp?” You fired back. Anger started to simmer beneath your skin, you liked Lucilla but felt that she was not in any place to tell you about your father. She has a different relationship with him than you. Lucilla sighed and rubbed her forehead, before taking a seat at one of the stone benches decorating the courtyard.

“It is the truth, as hard as it may be for you to hear. He is afraid of losing you, please, for your sake and his, at this banquet, do not act overly… ‘friendly’ with them.” Lucilla’s voice sounded low and worn. And you couldn’t help but wonder where your father was and what had occurred between them.You simply nodded before heading to your own quarters. 

It seemed an eternity had passed until you were pulled out of focus by a knock on the door. You left the scripture on your table and got to your feet. A familiar man’s eyes met yours, Edas lowered his head respectfully. “My lady, we are ready to depart.” Edas stated with a small smile. You felt like he was your true friend, when you were upset as a child he would levitate you in the air until you laughed and even now he was there when things got tense again.

“Thank you for fetching me, are you coming with us today?” You asked him, slipping by him while doing so. “I’m afraid not my lady, I was informed to stay here.” He said with thin lips. “Oh, alright. I will see you when we get back.” You answered kindly, before strolling through the estate towards the entrance. And like every time, a carriage waited for you. As soon as the door of the carriage closed behind you, you could feel your father's eyes on you.

“Did Lucilla tell you?” Acacius warned. He wore dark circles under his eyes and his nails were short from how he nipped at them. “Yes, she did.” You responded, even as you tried to hide the annoyance laced in your words, he seemed to tense up a bit. Neither of you said much more during the ride there, Lucilla staring mindlessly out the window. Even you felt a bit of dread rather than excitement upon seeing Palatine Hill come into view. 

It was not Macrinus greeting you this time, but about four Praetorian guards instead. You still did not know the reason for the banquet, but you were glad to soon be close to the mighty Emperors again. More noble ladies and lords appeared and even senators were in attendance today. But one certain presence or about six of them did not go unnoticed by you. 

You saw them as soon as you arrived at the entertainment hall, six concubines lingering around the Caesars. They sat, or more lounged, on a shared settee, similar to when you last visited. Both Geta and Caracalla sat up straighter when you came into their view. You approached them behind Acacius and Lucilla, lowering your gaze as one of the concubine's tits were almost fully exposed.

Your usual smile and bright eyes around the emperors were gone, feelings of jealousy and annoyance crawling up your spine instead. “Your majesties.” Acacius bowed, one hand around Lucilla and one balled upon his chest. “General.” Only Geta acknowledged him, Caracalla peering behind them instead, as something much more interesting was hiding there. Lucilla bowed to them before letting you pay your respects. 

“My Caesars.” You curtseyed, eyes avoiding them. A dark haired concubine’s hand made her way down Caracalla’s chest, giggling quietly in his ear. “My Lady, you look divine, as always. How good of you to grace us with your presence.” Geta mused, a grin on his lips as his eyes made their way down your frame. You couldn’t help the tiny smile escaping you at his jest. “Of course Caesar, I could never ignore your invitation.” Your tone remained flat and ever so respectful, they did not like that.

It was then Caracalla glared at your father, before his eyes flicked back to you. “Sit with us tonight, I command it.” Caracalla said in an unusual tone of voice. Your eyes met your fathers and he gave you a stern look. How could you ignore an Emperor’s command? This was not life or death, but more like your father’s wrath or death. “Of course, your majesty, I only wish to please you.” Caracalla still seemed a bit disappointed by your reaction. 

“General, I hope you amuse yourself tonight. I heard some of the senators wish to talk with you, you might go to them, with your wife.” Geta enunciated with irritation, his face gave away that there was no bargaining to be done. You were afraid they had caught up with the situation between you and their General. “I will your majesty. Let us seek out the senators my love.” Acacius dismissed himself, and Lucilla with him. 

You knew what you were in for tonight, yet you didn’t care anymore about how your father felt. He didn’t understand the amazing, freeing and extraordinary ‘relationship’, if you could call it that, you had with the Emperors. Geta and Caracalla did not let you stand for long, and gestured for the whores to leave, much to your relief. They made room for you between them and you sat in your favorite spot once more, and got handed a cup of wine.

Caracalla leaned towards you while biting his bottom lip, releasing it before speaking. “We have arranged something for you tonight, something we’ll think you’ll enjoy.” He almost giggled and gave himself away. “Brother. Do not ruin her surprise.” Geta stressed, before giving you a smile. A smile which you happily returned. They finally got the reaction they wanted and would do about anything to keep you happy tonight. Geta gave a curt nod towards a senator you knew to be Thraex.

“My Emperors! Ladies and Lords, tonight I present…the art of combat!” The second Thraex had spoken a thunderous applause could be heard. You glanced at both Geta and Caracalla with curiosity. As Macrinus entered the room, your curiosity grew. “From Macrinus’ stables, the already well liked gladiator...Hanno! And from my own stables...the mighty Vicheck!” Thraex roared. Once more, applause filled the room.

Your eyes scanned for your father and Lucilla but you could not see them in the crowd, at least not from where you were seated. Both fighters entered the room, Vicheck looked mighty indeed, with his large stature and tall frame. Caracalla leaned closer to you again, “After that man is done with him, we might see his end.” He almost reassured you, clearly their plan was to have Hanno killed in combat, to punish him. You smiled at Caracalla and he rubbed his hands together in excitement. You took a swig of the dark red liquid to ease your wariness.

Geta leaned forward, eager to see this ‘Hannos’ end, all because the man nearly killed you. Maybe you were in too deep now... The people made sure to give the men enough space as their chains were being removed and each was given a sword. You could only hope Hanno wouldn’t try anything again, but when he noticed you, it almost seemed as if he hid some guilt in his eyes. You averted your gaze to the other man, ‘Vicheck’ and kept your eyes on him instead.

Hanno tried to negotiate with his opponent but Vicheck had something completely different in mind, as he aggressively swung his sword, their bodies met, both fought for dominance. Due to both of their strength they pushed each other around, causing men and women to jump out of their way. Hanno moved Vicheck around until he could reach for a vase and crashed it on his head, making the mighty Vicheck almost crumble to the ground.

Except, Vicheck was not so easily defeated and cut Hanno across his back, before trying to push him to the ground. Both stumbled around once more, trying to gain dominance over the other. Vicheck then successfully managed to push Hanno on his back, which made Hanno drop his sword. He was met with the hard stone floor, he grunted out and rolled to avoid the pointy end of his opponent's sword. 

Vicheck was then sadly slow to realize Hanno’s moves, when Hanno found his own sword again and plunged it right into his chest. Almost a similar strategy he had used in the arena, cheers could be heard and hands clapped as Hanno rolled Vichecks lifeless body off of him. Geta had now gained a visible vein on his forehead and Caracalla’s face was red, their plan did not work. Right as Geta was about to unleash his anger, Macrinus stepped forward. While Hanno was chained again and led out of the room.

“How unfortunate for Thraex, it seems that I have gained a home.” He smiled, before bowing to the Emperors. “It is- unfortunate.” Geta seethed. “Would you have liked a different outcome? Your majesty?” Macrinus asked, pursing his lips. Geta now just ignored him and it almost became embarrassing if Macrinus didn’t turn his attention to you. “My lady, how good to see you in our presence again.” He beamed, sickeningly fake but almost convincing.

Caracalla’s mood turned around upon hearing that. “Isn’t it!” He giggled. Geta’s smile returned at his brother's words before settling his eyes upon you. “Quite.” Geta mused. “You do a fine job at pleasing our great Emperor’s my lady, never cease.” Macrinus expressed with a smile. Now that was an offence, however the Emperors thought differently. “We are both sure she won’t.” Geta agreed, his eyes never leaving you. To keep up appearances, you did not respond, simply giving them a curt nod.

Now what Geta said did not surprise you nor unsettle you, it was how Macrinus said it. There was some hidden meaning behind it, it was then you knew, he was in fact not the man he made himself out to be. You understood there was something going on, you were not sure what or who exactly were involved in it but there must be a plot or scheme, whatever it could be, it was not good. People were now helping themselves to food and conversation.

Only when Macrinus excused himself to check on Hanno, did you feel your shoulders relax. “Does he annoy you?” Caracalla asked, hand moving up and down your arm. Like he had mere days ago. And without a doubt, it gave the desired effect, making you forget all about Macrinus and his facade. “Who, Caesar?” You shuddered. “Macrinus.” He giggled, his brother moving closer now as well. “I would not lie, perhaps he does a bit.” You smiled. 

Geta laughed at that and placed his hand on your shoulder, before giving the tense flesh a squeeze, you jerked at the muted pain. “You are so tense tonight, is it because of your father?” Geta spoke softly in your ear. “Yes, Caesar, though he means well.” You responded softly in return. Caracalla’s hand still grazed the skin of your arm, keeping his eyes on you. You noticed how Geta’s tongue darted out ever so slightly to wet his lips. “Perhaps someone should-” he took a sharp breath before he finished his sentence, “have someone loosen up your shoulders.” 

“Perhaps, your majesty.” You blushed, not just your cheeks reddened but your entire body felt hot as the twins ‘caressed’ you. They did a good job at keeping it somewhat innocent but their intent was clear for all to see. It could be the wine but you wanted nothing more than to be alone with them right now, just to see how far they would take it. Would they have their way with you or keep it somewhat respectful?

You almost unwillingly leaned into their touch. Caracalla’s face coming closer to your neck, his restraint was close to breaking. You were right next to him, looking the way you looked and smelling the way you smelt. Geta too, was growing impatient and thought about commanding everyone to leave so they could finally take you. But he kept himself from doing so, his hand moving from your shoulder to your leg.

These new sensations you felt and these new boundaries being crossed did unnerve you a bit, but this feeling that drew you to them overpowered it and when you took another sip of your wine, you felt that you needed to relieve yourself. “I apologise, your majesties. But could I have a Praetorian show me to the lavatory? I had a bit too much wine, I promise I will be right back. I wouldn’t miss out on our...fun.” You smiled, empty cup in hand.

“Of course my lady, no need to apologise.” Geta said as he took hold of your hand and kissed it. “Guards! Show my Lady to the private lavatory. If she comes to harm, I will have your heads.” Geta sneered, to which two Praetorians stepped forward and bowed. You stood from your seat and Caracalla took your empty wine cup to hand to a servant. Before you made your way out of the room, you curtseyed, now with a smile. 

When you reached the private lavatory, a few halls away from the entertainment room, you went about your business before emerging again. However the guards were gone and you were met with your fathers furious gaze. “I thought we had agreed on something.” He spat out. “There is no reason for you to blame me for this- I had no choice! They commanded me, what was I supposed to do? Refuse them? I couldn’t!” You didn’t even realise you were shouting with how rapidly your fury rose. 

“You could! That is the point! They like you and you have that power! You know my- my concern about this, I am losing control over you!” Acacius just as loudly yelled back, he too was long his composure and patience. “Of course! Now you care! But why would you?! You go off to war for years leaving me alone after my mother just died and then you decide to remarry and not even take me with you! But of course now that I visit you and finally have fun and feel happy, now you care?!” Your screams echoed through the marble halls.

“I kept you there for your own safety as I have explained countless times! You won’t listen and now you meddle with the most dangerous men because I didn’t pay enough attention to you! A-” He got cut off for but a moment. “How!-” You screamed, but Acacius stopped you quickly. “No! You listen to me! You are the one thing! The one thing I have left of your mother! I will not lose you because of your recklessness!” 

That shut you up but your anger did not subside one bit. Acacius turned red when he realised how loud the two of you had been, his voice now lower, “When you have calmed down, you return and we will leave, you’ve had enough wine. You’re just a girl, start acting like one.” He did not leave room for any more argument and headed back to the banquet. 

Fury clouded your mind and you felt the wine mess with your common sense. Just as you were about to head back towards the entertainment hall, you spotted him. Macrinus. With alcohol flowing through your veins you made a decision, whether or not it was good, you would decide later. But you had to act now, if you wanted to find out who Macrinus really was. And so you quietly followed him as he was clearly not returning to the entertainment hall himself.

After every corner he turned you casually ‘hid’ behind it so as to not grow suspicion among the littered guards. Luckily they did not know who you were. You followed Macrinus until he disappeared behind a smaller door, you felt a moment of regret and dread but curiosity took over once more and you made your decision. When you opened the door, Macrinus seemed to have disappeared outside, the door was apparently a servant's entrance into and out of the palace. 

You hurriedly moved among the crowd, until you spotted his blue robes again and set after it. Making sure to somewhat blend in, you successfully followed Macrinus to his estate. It wasn’t something to be proud of, but you still felt pride swell in your chest. Using the same door he used, unguarded, you made your way inside his estate until he entered a different room, fortunately for you, with no closed doors. 

You stayed right outside and could hear another man arrive through a different entrance to what seemed to be a lounging room. “Macrinus, you’re already here!” The man exclaimed, he seemed to have his fill of wine already. “Yes, yes, I know all I need to know.” Macrinus laughed, it sent a shiver up your spine. “Oh? Well do tell me!” The man sputtered. “Now now, I can’t go around telling my secrets now can I?” Macrinus responded, you heard how their cups collided in familiarity.

“So I heard you spoke with Lucilla?” The man asked. “I did. And I do have to say, I need some clarification.” Macrinus replied. “What about?” The man grunted, seeming to now have sat down. You decided one little peek around the corner couldn’t hurt, but when you did, you quickly turned back, almost getting caught in the process. “She had a child?” Macrinus asked the man. 

“Hm. It's common knowledge. When Commodus was killed, the boy disappeared. But who would care?” The man laughed, sipping on wine, his slurps filling the room. “Lucilla would care!” Macrinus exclaimed. “He was of the royal bloodline after all. And his father?” Macrinus continued. “Ostensibly, Lucius Verus. See, it was an arranged marriage, she was fourteen. Females were not his taste.” The man explained. Your face contorted in disgust.

“Nor mine some days!” Macrinus laughed. “Nor yours!” The man joined. “What about General Acacius’ daughter, she seems well liked by the Emperors?” The man then asked Macrinus. “Yes quite, which is perfect. She can keep them nice and distracted.” Macrinus responded. That’s when you almost lost your composure, having to keep as quiet as possible. 

“That’s good, perhaps I will see you on the throne some day!” The man laughed. You heard enough, his plot was now clear. He fed into your ‘meetings’ with the Emperors to prepare some sort of bigger plan. But now, you had to get away. And so you turned on your heel, the wine still on your tongue. You also had to remember where you came from, which proved to be difficult when you were slightly inebriated and it was dark. 

You turned corners and explored hallways until you stumbled into the wrong one, three guards straightened up at the sight of you. “Who are you?” One of them asked with caution. You had only two choices, to lie or to run and you knew you could not run in sandals. “I apologise for the late hour, I am here to see Macrinus, it’s quite- personal. He knows who I am but he doesn’t know I’m here. Could you- bring me to him?” You asked as innocently as possible.

Now you didn’t know if it was your way of words or expensive robes but the guards complied and led you to the same room you were spying on Macrinus mere moments earlier. Was it stupid to have to come up in a short amount of time with a lie as to why you were here, all alone, in the darkness? Yes absolutely, but you had no choice, so you picked the first thing that came to mind. The Emperors.  

“My lord, this Lady is here to see you.” The shortest guard announced before leaving you alone with him. Macrinus turned around, the man had left already. “Well what a surprise! Come in child, come in.” Macrinus gestured for you to sit beside him, it made you uneasy but you pushed your feelings aside. You could tell he was confused and a bit suspicious but he clearly chose to keep quiet. “I know that it is late, and I apologise but- I feel like you are the only one who I can talk to about this.” You said as sweetly as possible.

That piqued his interest. “Oh? How so?” Macrinus asked. “Any time I- talk to my father about- well- the Emperors, he gets uncomfortable. And I just wanted to ask someone who knows them well. This might be silly but I feel like I can trust you.” His face lit up at your words. “I understand, what can I help you with, my Lady?” Macrinus’ brows furrowed. “I merely wish to know, would- would the Emperors or rather- one of them, perhaps marry one day?” Macrinus’ smile grew and he seemed to relax more.

“Of course my Lady, why do you ask?” Macrinus replied. “No specific reason, I should probably- not further speak about this, I’m so sorry for disturbing you.” You apologised kindly. “It’s quite alright, however- does anyone know you’re here?” Your face fell at his words, no they did not, not at all.

“She is taking quite long isn’t she?” Caracalla asked his brother. It had been some time now and you had not returned. “Let me inquire the guards.” Geta responded flatly. Caracalla slumped back into the settee, the music was boring to listen to without you by his side. But  the whole room quieted down as screaming echoed through the halls. “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! YOU HAD ONE JOB! NOW SHE'S GONE?!” Geta’s screaming voice came closer, Acacius now stepping towards the other Emperor. 

“YOU ARE ALL DEAD!” Geta screamed as he returned to the entertainment hall, the guards following behind him. Caracalla shot up from his seat as Geta approached him. “They fucking lost her! They lost her and now she is missing!” Geta yelled, spitting out as he threw his cup of wine against the wall. “What do you mean your majesty?” Acacius asked, his voice just as pale as his face.

“Your daughter is missing! That is what he means!” Caracalla was now screaming too, panic clearly taking over. Acacius’ eyes widened and Lucilla joined his side. “How is this possible?” She tried to calmly ask. “I- I fought with her, just before she was to return here. I dismissed the guards so I could talk to her privately which resulted in the fight. I- I told her to calm down before coming back- but she did not return, I hadn’t realised.” Acacius’ voice almost trembled.

“HOW COULD YOU LEAVE HER?! HOW?!” Caracalla screamed, getting in the guards’ faces, everyone around them lowered their gaze. “I want a thousand Praetorians now! March them through Rome! Search every house! She cannot be far!” Geta shrieked. Acacius followed Geta as he marched out of the room, Caracalla following behind.

“Oh no- I didn’t even realise. I’m going to be in so much trouble.” Your realisation however was very much real and so was the panic that surged through you. “Do not worry, I will take you back and all will be well.” Macrinus exclaimed. “Come, let us not make them worry more.” He said as he rose from his seat. You followed behind him as he ordered a handful of guards to accompany the two of you.

The streets of Rome were now quiet as you and Macrinus made your way back to the palace, it was not far from his estate. But when you got closer, Praetorians on horses as well as on foot marched through the street, shouting orders at civilians who stood sleepily in their doorway. “I am going to guess that’s for you.” Macrinus mused. You dreaded what was to come. Macrinus and you approached the hoard of guards. “I am assuming you are looking for General Acacius’ daughter?” Macrinus asked.

“We found her!”

[kaivenom]

☆hii☆ could you write a sfw and nsfw headcanons about shanks? I loved your previous ones! ☆ (also i wanted to ask what are ur faves ones to make?)

Dating Shanks HCS

A/N: it looks like i am doing a bingo with the dating requests. Well, i really like doing the Doflamingo ones cause he is the most outstanding of them all.

Masterlist

SFW

You have to meet him on a bar, no discussion.

Either you were drinking or working there, but you ended up making that bar your meeting point for the next couple of weeks.

He just has something that is so atractive and magnetic on his personality.

Maybe is his laugh, maybe is his serious face when he is thinking, his low voice when he is giving orders... you don't know.

And he doesn't know either, he likes your voice and how you follow his stupid jokes, maybe it's the way you look at him like he isn't a sea emperor.

Thats why he casualy asks you to join his cree, and you accepted, obviously.

Soon after you couldn't stand tension and ended Up making out half drunk on the side of a tavern at night.

The Next morning you didn't know if you should Talk about It or forget about It but he sat you down and confessed his feelings.

He is not the one to be awkward first, he straight goes to loves you and likes to show it to everyone.

If you are awkward or insecure about something, he will try to make you feel good an confortable like always saying youre beautiful, he likes your outfit, he loves you, etc.

He is the first one to say i love you but he says it in the most innapropiate time, when you both almost got catched Up by the marines.

Yo sais It back, obviously but you wanted to kill him for chosinf that moment. Later on, when you were save, he said again and again and again.

He likes to say that he isn`t jelaous and laugh but in reality he can get a little bit and that gets him in a strange mood, like when he is about to getw in battle.

His strategy in that times is being annoying: if you are talking to someone he just enters and starts to get the other person uncomfortable and making them leave, if he hears someone talking about you, etc.

He is the type of person to say 10 min more and wrap himself about you so you are trapped with him, and Its never just 10 min.

He checka you out, a lot, on any chance he has.

Poor the person who dares touch you or makes you feel bad, he is going to erase them from existence.

He wants to have a family, someday, he doesnt know yet when, but he likes to picture It with you.

Ir you have to sit, you Will sit on his lap, no other choice IS accepted. He will grab you and makes you sit on him.

NSFW

Goofy and silly

Him in sex is the same as him outdoor, cute and makes puns but at the same time really sexy and passionate.

For him sex is having a good time and like any other time, It`s a must to laugh and be relaxed.

Especially if you were nervous your first time together, he will be the most relaxing, conforting and lovable person ever.

A pleaser and a happy reciever.

He gets really horny everytime he thinks about licking your pussy but everytime you sugest to give him a blowjob he is on the verge of cumming.

The two times that sex can get really serious Is when he is jelaous/angry and sad.

When he is jelaous he just approaches you, grabs your arm and takes you to the nearest dark spot. He gets dominant, he demands you to call him captain or daddy, he just takes you and uses you as he pleases (with consent, obviously), he makes you get on doggy and believe me if you wont walk the next day. He is just so concentrated on showing you how much he loves you and how much you make him crazy that he tents to get this savage. After that he gets worried about hurting you so expect a lot of cuddles and kisses.

When he is sad is because he is insecure, about his arm, his scars, his personality, etc. Even if you think Shanks is really confident, he can also have moments like vulnerability and he does he can get needy of the most primal type of love. You start with a bath or something cause you saw him down but soon enough he starts to get handsy, slow and sensual but he doesnt go further. He is insecure so you have to take the lead, you kiss him and guide him while you ride him, he just has the most dreamy and venerator look on his eyes. In that moment he is just so graceful that you are with him and that you love him as much as he loves you.

He is one of the best at aftercare, he really likes to carry you to the bathroom and run a hot bath for both.

He groans and ocassionaly moans cause he isnt scared to let his voice go loud.

Has a breeding kink and daddy kink, he doesnt know It and first and thru the pass of time he starts to unpack It, and ended Up with the result of him always cumming inside you and making sure you know he wants to make you pregnant.

I think he is the one to just love boobs and ass but your breasts while pregnant? Fucking amazing for him.

He prefers to make love to you on the bed but when he is really needy, he can get provocative and you both end up having sex in any dark hollow you can.

[smogfromkortalmombat1]

MK1 Lin Kuei headcannons (Cute childhood edition)

Bi-Han

As a child, he was a big fiction reader. Sci-fi, mystery, there was nothing he didn't read. Non-fiction he saved purely for his studies- it bored him completely any other time.

He wasn't one for animal companionship, but he did have an exception as a child - the Lin Kuei temples had quite a few stray cats. He got quite attached to them, feeding and caring for them frequently. In return, he got lots of impromptu snuggles from them during meditation sessions.

A favourite past-time hobby of his was carving from wood. He could spend hours at his desk working away on a project. Statues of dragons and mythical creatures from the books he read all sit on a shelf in his room, handmade by him. He treasures them all dearly.

Though not a favourite hobby of his, he did take up knitting at one point, after watching his mother. He was never good at it, but he did enjoy it. He kept stacks of random wool in his room because of this.

Speaking of his mother, Bi-Han was a complete mama's boy as a child. His mother was his go-to for all things advice. He loved her dearly.

Kuai Liang

He loved cooking as a kid- mostly the eating part, but he enjoyed the satisfaction of making his own dish, just how he wanted it. He was, and still is, a massive fan of spicy food. If he can still feel his tongue, it isn't spicy enough.

He had a fascination with wildlife growing up- especially inverts like scorpions and tarantulas. He kept many in his room as a hobby over the years. As a child, he could spew fact upon fact about each creature like a crazy man, going on for literal hours if you let him.

His favourite animal he ever kept was an Emperor scorpion. He let Tomas name him, which resulted in the abomination that is Sprinkles Jr. Despite her awful name, Kuai loved and cared for her well.

Had very little patience for a lot of things as a kid compared to his adult self. He always had to be on the move, doing something he deemed fun or exciting, rather than things that were demanded of him- for example, studying or meditating. He tried, of course, but he struggled with it for the longest time until eventually he cooled down with age.

Total daddy's boy. Absolutely adored his father growing up, and strongly idolised him. He still does as an adult.

Tomas

His native tongue is Czech, but as a child he knew bits of Russian and German. He also knew bits and pieces of English, though not nearly as well. He joined the family not knowing Chinese at all, and had to be taught. Luckily, he picked it up fairly quickly.

His favourite animal as a child were foxes. He also adored big, goofy dogs- the fluffier the better.

Most of his childhood clothes (before his grey clothing choice was finalised) were hand-me-downs from his older brothers. This meant, for a long while, Tomas wandered around in a weird dual mix of old, faded blues and yellows.

The first trick he ever learnt with his smoke magic was how to levitate, though it was an accident and out of his control, for the most part. He used to freak both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han out by randomly floating upwards sometimes, or, even worse, randomly falling out of the sky, leading to one of them having to run and catch him.

He was a mama's boy as a kid, with both his blood mother and adoptive mother. He loves them both dearly.

Thank you for reading have a gif:

[sapphsorrows]

"people only pick on trans people because they're easy targets" yeah no shit they're easy targets just like flat earthers and antivaxxers. what they believe is absolutely fucking insane when you think about it for more than 2 seconds.

the idea of trans is no different from the idea of predestination.

predestination says only those who have been chosen by god will be saved and will go to heaven. how do you know you're predestined? there is literally no way to tell externally. there is no test you take to make sure you're predestined. you just have to put your faith in jesus and know, internally, in your heart, or whatever. funny how literally everyone who believes this also happens to be one of the ~chosen ones~.

the idea of being trans is that some people are born in the wrong body. how do you know you're born in the wrong body? there is literally no external way to tell, aside from maybe a few "am I trans?" quizlets (which as we all know are 100% accurate always and only made by professionals and not 12 year old furries). you just look inside, or whatever, and somehow "know" or you decide for yourself. then, based on your own self-reporting, which you have no way to externally verify, you expect people to bend to your will and you expect society to give you special privileges that no one else gets. no other man gets to pee in the ladies' or compete in women's sports but once you self-id as trans? well, right this way "ma'am", pay no mind to the women cowering in fear of you. their rights don't matter nearly as much as your feelings. funny how damn near everyone who believes in this also happens to be trans themselves, will a few outliers.

even "gender critical" transes like mr. blaire white and ms. buck angel will talk in hours upon hours of videos about the importance of gatekeeping and protecting women's spaces, yet /they/ demand the exact same privileges as every other "fake" (in their words) trans person on tiktok. do you seriously think "fake" trans people are going to listen to you and suddenly not go into the women's? No! are you fucking kidding me? it's so much easier to tell a buck or a blaire to fuck off than it is to a delusional fetishist who will 100% either hurt you or make a scene. there is no "true trans" because EVERYONE claims to be truly trans, everyone from bruce jenner to the "IT IS MA'AM" gamestop dude.

it fucking baffles me how youtube skeptics - people i used to admire, people who taught me how to think critically about shit - will spend all damn day dunking on flat earthers and creationists but will turn a blind eye to the trans cray and will even go as far as to support them. they think they're so above it all and they can't be fooled, but they have been, and I keep waiting for them to snap out of it - just like I waited for my own family to snap out of christianity - but they haven't.

if you seriously think a dress and some hormones and plastic surgery will make a man into a woman, you're insane, and you're no more crazy than a youtuber who thinks antarctica is an ice wall or a pastor who still prays to his "sky daddy". you have no right to make fun of these people for the insane shit they believe when you believe in this nonsense. you are quite literally the pot calling the kettle black.

and if you're one of those people who's like "oh well i know they're not actually women i just call them that to avoid hurting their feelings" im sorry but you're still in this cult, you're physically in but mentally out and the only way to really get out is to call a spade a spade, admit the emperor has no clothes, admit you were fooled just like me - just like all of us - and speak out against it.

[exponentchunk]

OCs Art

Finally got done and finished my sketches of my OC and her and Thrawns kids! I never really post my drawings but I was super proud of these! Here's some backstory on each of my characters! Let me know if y’all would be interested in more drawings or more about my OCs!

Thrayn is the one in the red cloak. He and Thrass are twins. He is the oldest of all the siblings but he is smaller than Thrass. He is slim and tall but still athletic though he hates fighting. Thrayn is more of a diplomat like his mother. Thrayn is a crazy genius but he lacks drive. He purposely chose not to go into the military despite his intelligence. He butts heads a lot with his father and they could not be more different personality-wise. Thrayn is a momma’s boy as she is who usually helps calm the waters when Thrayn and Thrawn fight. He is a sweetheart who does try to stay out of trouble but it finds him. He is closest with his Uncle Eli as Eli raised the twins in their first couple of years. Thrayn almost sees Eli more as a dad than Thrawn and doesn’t feel like he fits in with the family.

Thrass is a spitting image of Thrawn. He is the most serious out of the siblings and is constantly getting Thryan and Thaera out of trouble. Thrass is the youngest of the twins but he is a pretty big boy compared to his brother. He has broad shoulders and a stocky tall build. He isn’t as smart as Thrayn and Thaera and it frustrates him. He is close with both his parents but he does sometimes resent his mom for being human. Sometimes he is embarrassed to be only half Chiss. Is a bit of a hot head though his father works with him on it. Not as smart as his Dad but still a very skilled tactician. He worries a lot about not living up to the legend that is his father.

Thaera is the wild child and the youngest. She is a spitting image of her mother just in Chiss form. Huge daddy’s girl as Thrawn always wanted a mini version of Maya. Thaera is a mini version of her mother’s personality too which means she and her mother buttheads a lot. Maya doesn’t like how much Thrawn lets Thaera get away with stuff. Thaera loves making art which is another reason she and her dad are close. Thaera doesn’t want to go into the military or politics cause she sees the evil in both. If she can she wants to be an artist. Both her parents are supportive of her dreams. She is sassy and loves pranking her brothers much to their dismay. She also has her big brothers wrapped around her finger. She is good at manipulating people to get what she wants.

Maya: She and Thrawn met when Eli and Thrawn were at the Imperial Academy. Maya was staying with her Uncle Yularen who had taken her in after he met her during an ISB mission. He offered her a new life if she promised to help him during the mission. Maya was a street rat on her home planet and had a dark past. She is politically smart as she had to survive the streets and she learned a lot about politics while living in the upper class of Coruscant. She met Thrawn and Eli when she surprisingly beat their team during a capture-the-flag simulation. Maya had found a way around the rules and Thrawn was not very happy about it. Kinda of a rivals-to-lovers trope. Maya was a jokester and pranker and Thrawn at first hated how unserious she was though that became the thing he loved most about her. Maya and Eli became friends very fast once all of them were on the same team for a simulation. Maya became the political ally Thrawn needed as many in the upper society liked her. Maya was a combat officer until an accident happened and she had to medically retire. She and Thrawn eventually got married in secret and Eli officiated the ceremony. Maya found out she was pregnant right around the time Eli was sent to the Ascendancy and she was sent with him much to her dismay. Thrawn was worried about what the Emperor would do if he found out about Maya and their future kid(s). When Maya joined the ascendancy she tried to join house Mitth as technically it was her right to do so by marriage. She met Thurfian who didn’t like her at first 1. Cause she was human and 2. She was Thrawns wife. He was impressed however by her political skills and offered her a deal. She and her kids would be a part of the Mitth household if she were to live at the Mitth household and be his political advisor. She rises quickly and becomes Thurfian’s closest advisor (he still hates Thrawn tho lol). Maya would give birth to the twin boys with the help of Eli who supported her through the entire birth. Eli helped Maya raise the boys which is why Thrayn is a mini Eli honestly. The boys came out looking full Chiss which made Thurfian happy. Thrawn wouldn’t see the boys until 4 years after they were born. It caused some problems with him and Maya that he was gone for so long but they made up and that’s how Thaera was born.

[randomthefox]

You know what, aside from Satam , the found family trope is partially why Tails often gets treated like a literal baby who has Sonic as his daddy (with Amy occasionally being a mommy. A no fun marvel mommy at that. Fans have her go "tut tut" at the crazy irresponsible adventurous Bois.).

Yup, very true. Shoving the characters into the conservative nuclear family roles is absolutely part of the reason characters like Tails Cream and Charmy all get infantilized. Because they're the youngest characters, so they're "the baby" of the family and need to be coddled and protected.

Even though Tails is the most intelligent and second most experienced behind Sonic, is always coming up with their battle plans, has to manage all of his friends disparate personalities clashing with each other like he's herding cats, and every single character recognizes him as the closest thing to a source of authority that they have in their friend ground.

Meanwhile Cream in her debut game resolutely decided she needed to face the dangers of Eggmans robot hoard for the sake of saving her mom, and faced down the Egg Emperor to save her Chao friend.

And Charmy is an equal fully contributing member of the Chaotix and is NEVER shown to be anything but a peer, Vector and Espio NEVER treat him as a Lesser who needs to be babied.

The way the god damn fucking adaptations like the fucking piece of shit comics and mother fucking Sonic X created that perception of them infuriates me to no send.

[sem24]

Who each of the Community cast is voting for in the 2024 election.

Pierce, (if he was still alive) you’d think obvious Trumper. And while he holds many of the same values and agrees with a lot of Trump’s policies. He likes money more and the Trump administration is not good for the LGBTQ+ community. Which if you remember are the main consumers of Hawthorne Wipes.

And Pierce and Trump were actually friends in the 80s, they’d do ❄️ together all the time. But they had some kind of falling out ( no one knows for sure what happened, but there is speculation, Pierce wanted to cameo on the Apprentice and Trump didn’t let him.) So out of pettiness Pierce votes for Kamala.

Shirley, you’d think another obvious Trump voter, and I think in 2016 and 2020 she voted red. But I think after one of her boys comes out she re-evaluates maybe deconstructs a little and votes for Kamala. Plus she is creeped out by J.D. Vance. And because of Trump’s racism.

Annie, Kamala obviously, she is terrified about Project 2025 (she read and annotated the whole thing) Especially the parts about dismantling NOAA and the department of education. And as a Jewish girl, the blatant push for a Christian theocracy scares her. I believe she is heavily involved in politics and actively campaigns for Harris-Walz, and she carefully watches each debate.

Abed, Abed is fascinated by Donald Trump, Abed loves T.V. And Trump is basically a living-breathing T.V. Character, he follows politics just as much as Annie, but he is much quieter about it. He doesn’t campaign only observes. Even though. When he does bring up Trump he won’t stop referring to him as Emperor Palpatine, from Star Wars, and through that lens he is able to recognize the harm Trump will do if elected.

Troy, he doesn’t really follow politics. Ultimately he votes for Kamala cause that’s what Abed is doing. Also Trump’s obvious Racism.

Britta, one of those fake progressives, Who is loudly outspoken about the fact that she is not voting, because the whole election is rigged anyway (not in a Maga way). And “both sides are equally bad.” She is heavily involved in politics like Annie, but does not put in the same leg work to inform herself on the issues, so is often publicly embarrassed. (Don’t take this as a dislike of the character, love Britta, but she is very performative in her activism and I want to be true to her character.) Being loudly wrong is kinda Britta summarized.

Jeff, I think Jeff barely follows politics. He follows it only as a way to try to make himself seem sophisticated. So like Britta he has a tendency to get things wrong. But unlike Britta he can usually talk his way out of humiliation. He is evasive when you ask him who he is voting for and his answer changes depending on who he is talking to.

I think what really tipped the scales is when he finds out that Project 2025 would ban p*rn. (Same with Troy) Jeff also relates to Harris on a Lawyer to Lawyer level.

Also he will vehemently deny this, but seeing Walt on T.V. Brings up his not so hidden Daddy issues.

The Dean, Kamala no question, Trump’s anti-lgbtq+ agenda sees to that.

Chang, the wild card, I think he wasn’t going to vote, and never has before. Chang starts going to Maga rallies, because he sees how gullible the hard core Trumpers are and he wants to scam them.

He goes full method, paints his face orange, wears one of those weird diapers and a Tampon (he stole from one of the girls) Over his ear. He even carries around one of the J.D. Vance Jizz cups.

He doesn’t have much luck cause most Maga ignore him or are openly racist. But he soon starts to get really into it. And what started as a scam becomes genuine. He goes completely Maga.

You can’t tell me Chang isn’t crazy enough that people being openly hostile towards him wouldn’t work like negging. Plus Trump’s insanity and dictatorial posturing would absolutely appeal to Chang.

He would be really hard-core Maga for a few weeks before and after the election, but eventually the next crazy scheme would catch his attention.

[briliantlymad]

Do you have any Star Wars fanfic recommendations? Especially Anakin centered. <3 Daddy Anakin if possible.

beloved you've come at the right time because i've been slowly going through my star wars bookmarks for like. the 10th time. I hope you enjoy these

there but for the grace of god is a fix it with dadkin sprinkled throughout.

The Exiled is a darth vader lives au. Anakin, Leia and Ben solo centric. it gets the fxcked up relationship between all three of them so well. Also WOO Grandad Anakin lesgo

Grounded Dad Darth Vader. He's trying with luke and the effort counts

Well It goes Like This Dad Anakin but not with the twins and instead with a gaggle of kids he saves during order 66

The Sunrise Fix it. Parents Anidala who realise that a life after war is a lot harder to get used to. it's a good series i love it.

Little Pilots Rebel AU. Anakin bonding with his kids its fucking adorable.

Shades in the Desert Force Ghost Anakin finding out that parenting is a lot harder when your baby is growing up on tatooine and he's the only who can see you

The kind that was burned first Obikin and the twins as babies time travelled and anakin gets the chance to be a parent. its got less dadakin than you'd want but its a good fic with the little bits it does have.

Jupiter Anakin raises the twins while hiding from the empire and its so precious i love it.

Shatterpoints Emperor Vader who raises his kids and ends up actually being good at the emperor bit cus he's purged the senate of every palpy supporter. Still Crazy Cakes but i think i'd describe his chara as a "good dictator" sjsjsjsjsj. very cute Leia and Luke moments im ngl.

There ya go. a perfect 10 out of the last 10 pages of my 50 pages of Star wars bookmarks.

Some are obikin some are anidala. they're all very good. def teared up at some of these.

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

So, with the new special coming up with Shadybug and Claw Noir, I’ve gotta ask, what are Scarlet Beetle, Ikati Black, Monarch, and Prince Paon’s alternate selves like?

Blood Beetle

Cold, calculated, greedy, and just a little bit flirty with his “Kitten.”

He works out so he’s stronger than his opponents and can easily snap them like twigs

This guy does NOT care about the lives of innocents, as long as he’s got the cash and jewels he stole, then he’s fine

Will not hesitate to put people in danger if it means getting his way, and makes people BEG him on their knees to use his Miracle Cure…

… Only to not use it

And quick thing to remember: Unless you have a death wish, never try to flirt with Ikati Bleak

When he’s not Blood Beetle, Kim is tormenting people at DuPont Dormitory For Wayward Teens for cash and breaking every PDA rule with Max

He was sent to DuPont for attacking just about anyone who looked at him funny

“Kitten~ Steal that gem for me, would you, baby?”

“Ugh! It’s not my fault this light weight can’t take a punch!”

“Come on… Beg me, and maybe I’ll fix your shit city.”

Ikati Bleak

Ikati Bleak is extremely smart and knows how to get in your head. Never trust him

He’s the brains behind every robbery committed by himself and his “Blood Bug.”

He can easily hack into the government and cause all sorts of mass destruction with the push of a button if civilians step out of line

Like Blood Beetle, he doesn’t care about the lives of other people, seeing them as only stepping stones in their path towards total domination

Whatever Blood Beetle desires, he is more than happy to do whatever it takes to make him happy

Enjoys using his cataclysm on famous landmarks and important artifacts

As Max, he’s deceitful, gets a thrill out of using his intellect against others, and uses his tech skills to torment the student body

Max was sent to DuPont for hacking into the grade books and ruining everyone’s GPAs just for the hell of it

“Whatever my Blood Bug wants, he gets.”

“Ruining lives is just no fun when they don’t cry.”

“One little button. That’s all it takes to see your city turn to dust.”

Emperor

One word… Insane

Emperor has no goal other than to cause mass chaos and make all who stand before him kneel at his feet

He turns people into Akumas against their will and uses psychological and/or emotional torture to make them comply

He forces them to steal, cause property damage, and attack a few people he doesn’t like

He only has a soft spot for Prince Pain and will drop everything to just kiss his hand

As Nathaniel, he’s just as unhinged as Emperor. People would say he has a Napoleon Complex, but the last person to say that mysteriously fell down the stairs

Note: Nathaniel hates it when people even imply that he’s inferior

Those at his last school were relieved when the School Tyrant finally left

“Princey, allow me torment this undesirable for you, darling.”

“Aw~ Why so serious? And here I thought we were having so much fun.”

“Oh, I have ways of making you comply, dear.”

Prince Pain

He’s every bit of crazy as Emperor, but braver. He’s jumped off the top of the Eiffel Tower and landed on the back of a winged Senticreature

This guy only has a soft spot for Emperor and his babies

He can’t bear to part with them, so he lets them run around Paris, destroying everything in sight on a weekly basis

He’d never send an Amok after a civilian, becuase then they can turn his Senticreature against him!

He’s got the personality of Evil!Spinel with a bit of Harley Quinn mixed in there, always clapping and laughing when someone gets hurt

He will follow Emperor to the ends of the earth for no reason other than to cause chaos with him

Marc was sent to DuPont because there was no mental facility that would take him

“Hear that, babies? Other daddy is proud of you, my little weapons of mass destruction!”

“Voices in my head say I’m perfectly normal like any other person.”

“I don’t like the words your saying… Do you need your tongue removed?”

[ozzgin]

Not sure if you’ve ever watched or read Chinese royal court dramas, but aside from the reality TV show baby daddies, impregnating Olympics, etc. I feel like the Chinese royal court drama is what whore reader’s life will turn into (with reader as the Empress of course) 😩

To summarize what happens in these Chinese dramas, the stories focus on the female lead’s ascent to Empress. Having to fight off dozens of scheming concubines and consorts of the Emperor. There are a lot of poisonings, “accidents,” political/emotional manipulation, etc. that the court women use to gain favor of the Emperor, while making their rivals fall out of favor. It’s crazy 😂

And that’s what I think the monster town story is evolving to on a darker level. Cause let’s be honest, the reality TV show drama is nothing compared to the shit that’d go down if the monster baby daddies started to emulate Chinese royal court dramas!

If you’re ever interested in history drama, you should research how complicated Chinese royal courts were in regards to women’s positions. If you were a x concubine, you’d get x dining ware/clothes/status vs. if you were a y consort, who’d get y dining ware/clothes/status. It’s insane how many different levels/tiers/categorization of concubines and consorts there were. Much more different than European royal courts.

If this system of ranking was instigated, for our beloved whore of a reader and her baby daddies, imagine how much intense drama would go down. Wouldn’t be comedic anymore…lol!

-👘

The closest thing I have seen is those fake mobile ads with a baby crying in the mud outside and you can adopt it to impress the emperor or something. 😭

Feel free to send me recommendations, I could certainly use some extra practice for my Mandarin learning. Otherwise I agree with you.

[savage-sinister]

Deicide: New Horizons (45750 words) by VickytheSnake, thesavagesabretooth Chapters: 7/?

Summary: The Straw Hats, the Donquixotes, the Charlottes, the Kid Pirates, Germa 66 and more have all joined on as members of Cross Guild. And while everyone would like some time to celebrate, the news that Sabo brings- that the World Government has an island-destroying weapon- brings the festivities to a halt. New courses must be decided on.

Luffy wants a new body for his brother Ace, so Ace can stop sharing with Sabo. Doflamingo wants the same for Monet and Sugar. Jewelry Bonney wants someone to fix her daddy, Kuma. Kaidou wants to know what the hell happened to Big Mom. And what's this about something being wrong with Tashigi?

-

The sun was high on Elegia. Nobody had slept in the chaos of the night before, except apparently they'd all been sleeping anyway, so what did it matter? Cabaji was sitting in the grass with a few of the others– Daz, Zala, Marianne, Drake.

"This is not the day I expected to have when we came here for a concert, even considering," Cabaji admitted.

Even considering that they had already been planning on fighting the marines. Even considering that his captain's deadbeat emperor boyfriend Red Haired Shanks was the famous singer Uta's father. Nobody could have predicted the way things went down.

"Crocodile was in a tizzy the whole way here," Zala mused as she packed her pipe from her belt. "And that was only when he thought it was going to be some shitshow with the marines."

Marianne kicked her feet against the grass with a shake of her head,her sunhat tipped low over her eyes. "And then she started singing and trying to turn the world into a dream. Crazy stuff."

"Well, it was a shit show with the marines, I suppose," Drake, the recent former marine conceded. "Even if we mostly missed that part."

"Funny how that works out," Daz rumbled. "I was all beat up in the dream. Woke up, not a scratch on me."

Zala nodded with a look of amusement. "I'd gotten a few whacks myself , and I'm as fit as ever. Thank hell it was all just a dream, right? Even if all hell was breaking loose around us and we didn't have a single clue!"

Tilting her hat up, Marianne stared with wide eyes at Cabaji and Daz."I told you guys it was all a dream. I said it even during the concert part—when she was eatin' on the screen with Luffy. I said 'this isn't real'. Remember?" 

Daz nodded. "I remember. Smartest one out of all of us, probably."

Cabaji hadn't heard the comment at the time, but he conceded that Marianne, despite appearances, might have been one of the more insightful members of their ranks. Another one of Crocodile's brilliant 'baroque works' guys– girls.

Getting closer to Daz had helped Cabaji feel a little more at home with the group, but it was still strange, and frustrating that they'd lost so many of Buggy's original crew. Not to mention he was surrounded by devil fruit users. Even Drake, who was even more the odd man out than he was, still had that going for him.

Cabaji chuckled even so. "Probably good that it was a dream, or I'd be sewing you up right now. I saw that big cut on your chest before we woke up."

Daz grinned. "Would have made a great scar, don't you think?"

Zala draped her hand across her forehead with a theatrical sigh. "Alas—it would have been pretty fetching, if you ask me! A loss for the artistry of the body."

"At the expense of a loss of blood," Marianne snickered softly. "Right Mr. Cabaji?" 

"You're right, Daz, she is the smartest one of you guys," he drawled back.

Daz just laughed. "I can always make more blood."

"One of the many things I love about you, Daz," Zala purred as she took a puff off her pipe. Marianne interrupted her, however.

"That he produces more blood?"

Zala huffed, and pointed a sharp nail at the small woman with a tilt of her nose. "...that too. I more meant his willingness to be a little adventurous, and you know it!" 

"It makes a strong statement," Drake said. He sniffed the smoke as Zala puffed on her pipe. "Is that opium?"

From what Cabaji knew, it was opium, yeah. He wondered if the former marine was going to make a stink about it.

"Bad habit from my old job, one of many." Zala took another long pull from it before she offered the pipe to him with an exhale of smoke. "Why? Interested in a hit?" 

To Cabaji's great surprise, Drake took the pipe from her and put it to his lips. "I had a crewman who smoked it sometimes. I find I'm already missing the smell."

Maryanne's head tilted to the side. "It's distinctive. I knew I started to miss it when Baroque Works was on the outs—before we all agreed to put it back together. Does it give you nice memories, Drake?" 

Drake smiled, a little smoke escaping the edges of his lips. Cabaji thought the smile looked rather melancholy. That made sense with Drake's history. He'd been a fake pirate captain in charge of a real pirate crew. A crew who'd all died recently thanks to a man who was here on this very island– Kaidou..

"It does, Miss Zala. And it's good for my nerves, too." He chuckled and passed the pipe back to her.

Cabaji was pleased to be wrong again– maybe Drake wouldn't turn out to be as disappointing an actual pirate as he thought.

Zala put the pipe to her lips with a pleased smile. "It's the reason I haven't tried harder to quit, admittedly. It always steadied the nerves before a dance."

Marianne tilted her head back and forth, as if listening to an unheard song before she said out loud almost what Cabaji had been thinking—

"Hopin' to see you dance sometime, Zala—but hey, Drake," she flashed a thumbs up. "Glad you're not as much of a stick in the mud as some people on the crew were worrying you might be. I knew you weren't, and you helped me win a few dozen berry."

As if there was a pot on whether or not Drake would be a decent pirate or not. Or rather, there probably had been, and Cabaji had missed it in all the commotion. Drake had joined on at the same time they'd dragged Shanks out of the water, and it was the fallen Emperor who'd taken up a lot more of Cabaji's attention until now.

He was starting to think maybe getting to know Drake would have been a better use of his time than glowering at the sad drunk. But he hadn't really been able to help it.

Drake chuckled at the comment. "A few dozen berry, huh? Going to give me a cut of it for helping you win?"

Marianne's thin smile cut her cherubic face like a knife. "More than a few dozen berry. I was underselling it. But—of course. As thanks. Should be enough for a dinner or something when we hit civilization."

Zala held her hand up. "As you might imagine—Neo-Baroque Works is a fan of gambling. An inherited sin from our founder." 

"You'll be surprised by how fair we play, too," Daz chuckled. "As Marianne just demonstrated."

"Oh is that so?" Drake chuckled. "is it important to be fair when you gamble, or is it just that it makes it easier to cheat when it's really important?"

With a laugh, Marianne leaned on her hand, her hair bouncing over her shoulders. "....what's your guess, Drake?" 

Drake grinned, and it lit up his face. "The latter, naturally."

Daz nodded. "Good guess."

Cabaji wasn't surprised. The Baroque Works crew were like that. Extremely straight forward, right up until they weren't.Or extremely tricky– right up until the point where they were suddenly very straightforward.

Marianne beamed at him, "Right on the money. If there was a bet you'd win the pot. You might be a natural, Drake."

Zala snickered, taking another hit of opium with a wink. "It's best when the enemy never knows when you're cheating or when you're playing fair." 

That, Cabaji could agree with. He wondered how the attitude would play into things now that Cross Guild had turned into some kind of mega alliance. 

"Did you guys expect things to turn out this way?"

"Well," Daz said. "I always bet on Crocodile."

That was predictable enough. A man after his own heart, really.

"It really doesn't go well when you don't," Zala leaned on her hand with a thin smile "I think we got the Straw Hats and the rest all under our big, glittering banner."

Marianne perked up. "....Charlottes. Candy. Think they'll share a little?" 

Drake huffed. "Assuming they've joined up, getting them not to share it might be the trickier proposition, from what I know, Miss Marianne. I think you'll get your sweets."

Cabaji huffed. He still didn't like the way they, and everyone else, seemed to always give credit to Crocodile. Buggy deserved at least a fair share of the credit! He'd been vital to putting the whole thing together and–

Cabaji's brooding was interrupted by the voice of the very man he was brooding over.

-

"Hey hey hey Cabaji!!!!" Buggy's voice rang out over the grounds as he spun around in the air to zip over towards his first mate with a wide grin "Miss your ol' captain while I was gone?"

He'd practically run there after getting the fruit, and along the way he ran into Mihawk and Crocodile. Mihawk yanked Shanks away for hell knew what, which left him with Croccy as he went to give his first mate the good news. With the way Crocodile loved devil fruits, it wasn't surprising he'd wanted to come along, especially knowing that he was trying to soften Cabaji's position on him.

Admittedly it wasn't ideal if his first mate resented two out of three of his captain's boyfriends. Maybe three out of three. He wasn't sure how Cabaji felt about Mihawk.

He watched the swordsman perk up to attention at the sound of his voice. "Captain!"

The rest of the little knot variously nodded, saluted and waved greetings as well.

Buggy floated around him and gestured to Crocodile. "Me and Croccy gotcha a gift! You want it in front of everyone, orrrr?"

He'd really, really like it if he could at least get Cabaji to like ONE of his boyfriends. Maybe. 

Cabaji glanced at the others. "In private, maybe? Unless you all want to gawk at me."

Daz put his hand on Cabaji's shoulder. "We'll be here when you get back. Well. Unless we go somewhere else."

Marianne put her finger to her lips. "I do like gawking. Too bad."

"You can gawk later at how cool my number one guy is, shortie!" Buggy clapped his hands together before he offered his hand down to Cabaji, floating in the air. "Come on, pal! Let's get somewhere quiet."

With a grudgingly thankful glance at Daz, Cabaji grabbed his hand and let him help him up, smiling slightly. "Thanks, captain."

Crocodile waved for the two of them. "Come on, let's take care of it on the ship."

They'd set off across the chaotic mud flat that was earlier a bunch of verdant fields. The island was being torn to shit—but hey, that's what happens when you throw a huge shindig and then die, right? Nobody around to keep up the grounds. It wasn't like anyone was going to be staying here, anyway.

Buggy kept his hand on Cabaji's as he walked…or rather floated…along with an unwavering grin. Cabaji had confided in him, had said he was worried he was too weak to make it in the later half of the grand line. Buggy didn't exactly agree. Sure, Mihawk was the world's greatest swordsman, and other guys had devil fruit powers—, but Cabaji was GOOD at what he did. He was strong, and loyal and charming—handsome even! And above all, a damn badass of an acrobat.

But if he thought he needed a boost? Buggy damn well was gonna give his number one man a boost. It was good luck that Croccy could weasel that devil fruit out of the grinning maniac Doflamingo, or maybe good connections.

Either way, it meant maybe Cabaji wouldn't feel so damn awkward anymore around the other freaks of Cross Guild. 

"So this is what I think it is, right?" Cabaji murmured as they headed up the ship's gangplank.

"Provided that you think it's about that devil fruit you wanted," Crocodile purred. It was, admittedly, a fair question. In other circumstances Crocodile could have been spiriting the two of them off for something very different– and might still have considered it a 'gift'.

That memory made Buggy blush a little—and he was a little pissed he didn't have his greasepaint to hide the flush on his dark cheeks. 

"Y-yeah. Yeah buddy!" He grabbed Cabaji's shoulders with a grin. "and it's a real good one too. REAL useful, according to the supplier!" 

Cabaji's breath caught for just a moment when Buggy grabbed him once they were on the deck– but he was used to it after all their time together, and relaxed immediately. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"A good one, huh?"

"We couldn't have you with a sub-par fruit, now could we?" Crocodile grinned.

"Yeah, I made sure to stress to 'em not to get us any old crap." Buggy looped an arm around him and gestured towards Crocodile to produce it. "This is going to take you to the next level, Cabaji. Only the best for my best man, right?" 

Cabaji flushed deeply at the contact, but leaned into him. "Captain… you're sure it's alright?"

Buggy nodded his head and he flashed a bright smile at him. "Of course it is! I made you a promise, didn't I?"

"And Croccy here helped make it happen…you're gonna accept it, right? It's the uh…" He snapped his fingers. "shit, what was the official name for the thing? Kelpy-Kelpy…." 

As Cabaji's brow wrinkled, Crocodile sighed a long breath of smoke and took the cigar out of his mouth, ever surprisingly patient with Buggy's antics.

"The double-double fruit, clown."

Buggy threw his hands up with an overdramatic. 

"Argh! I knew I was on the wrong track!! Fuck!" He glanced to see if the routine landed on Cabaji at all. 

Cabaji chuckled. "Kelpy fruit sounds like a good time but I'm pretty sure water animals are off limits for devil fruits, right? Not that I'd mind being some kind of fucked up horse, captain."

"You'd make a pretty good fucked up horse, Cabaji" he snapped his fingers and shot a couple of finger guns his way "I'd ride ya! But this is much cooler. It lets you uh…copy shit." 

Cabaji's forehead wrinkled again. "Like Bentham?"

"Not like Bentham, in fact," Crocodile clarified. He ashed his cigar over the rail into the sea. "Making duplicates of objects. And yourself."

That seemed to give Cabaji pause, because his dubious expression melted into one of consideration. "That does sound pretty good."

Buggy flashed him a wide grin "Don't it? You'll be able to do shit like make a couple of copies of yourself and slash the FUCK outta people! Or duplicate knives ! Or who knows what else!" 

"I can think of some possibilities," he admitted thoughtfully. "But… is it good enough to give up being able to swim for? Captain, if I eat this, I won't be able to save you if you fall in the water. Or the damned red-head."

Buggy grimaced—he'd nearly drowned more than once. The horror of being unable to swim weighed on him for a moment as he leaned on Cabaji's shoulder. "I mean…I think so, but hey. I'm just the chop-chop guy, y'know what I mean?" 

Crocodile snorted. "If Karoo and his girlfriend had been doing their job you wouldn't have had to pull Shanks out. There are eggs in the hold now, by the way."

"See? Karoo and his girlfriend should do their jobs instead of…" Buggy trailed off. "Well holy shit, eggs. That's uh…hot damn. Someone should tell Viv."

He shook his head. "Besides, Shanks should be able to yank us out if we fall in too. I want you fightin' side by side with me Cabaji." 

Cabaji's jaw tensed. "If you're sure, captain. Because that's what I want."

Buggy held his hands out placatingly, his eyes bright as he held out his hand to Crocodile for the fruit. "I'm sure—unless you're really worried about it, Cabaji, I think this is a great opportunity." 

Cabaji thought about it for a moment longer, and then nodded, and took a breath. "Give me the fruit."

Buggy felt like he could hear Crocodile's smug grin from behind him.

He wobbled his hand towards Croccy, his own smile wide and rictus; it was like waves of smug just pelting him in the head like the guy was trying to make him pass out.

"Welcome to the club, first mate." 

-

Cabaji held the fruit in his hands for a moment, feeling the weight of it as he stood there in front of his captain and Crocodile.

It looked sort of like an enormous cherry, two bulbs joined by a common stem, partially scaled like a pineapple at the top then becoming smooth and fleshy toward the bottom.

He wasn't certain if it was simply the knowledge of what he held in his hand that made it feel heavy, or if it was some innate property of the fruit, but either way his hands were pulled by the weight of it.

The crossroads of fate. One bite of it would change his destiny forever.

Cabaji refused to be held back. He refused to be a burden on his captain. He refused to be outshone by his comrades in arms. He was one of the stars of the show, goddamnit, and he wasn't going to be pushed into the background.

He was going to perform. 

Cabaji lifted the fruit to his lips and he sank his teeth in the soft flesh of it

One bite and he would be a changed man.

The juice was bitter on his tongue and it stung the corners of his lips, but he swallowed just the same. The pulpy flesh slid down his throat and Cabaji felt the world spin around him.

He blinked as his vision blurred, and he saw double.

-

Crocodile watched the swordsman's teeth sink into the fruit. He watched his throat bob as he swallowed. 

Crocodile never got tired of it, watching someone uplifted by the strength of a devil fruit. He never forgot the bite of his own, and he never once regretted it, not with all the drawbacks and all his fear of the sea.

That infusion of power. That strength beyond human limit. The taking of that forbidden fruit.

It made his blood sing.

He smiled a long, wicked smile as he watched the air around Cabaji shimmer. 

Where one man had been standing, now there were two.

 Buggy's lips split into a massive grin.

"Hey hey hey! Am I seeing double or are you twice the man you used ta be!" He clapped his hands together before flying over to loop an arm around each Cabaji. "My GUYS!" 

Both Cabajis startled as they were grabbed, exclaimed in stereo. "Whoa!"

"Not bad," Crocodile purred. "You can see the possibilities I imagine"

One Cabaji wrapped his arm around Buggy's shoulders, the other his waist.

"Yeah, I…"

"Wow."

"I can imagine some possibilities right now!" Buggy said with a leer. "But man, that's fantastic. That's a real whopper of a power you got there, man. I'm almost jealous!" 

Cabaji sputtered, and Crocodile laughed. "Jealous, eh clown? Well, I'd say the two of you have some potential harmony going on with your powers, eh? You both have that multiple positions on the battlefield thing going on."

-

Buggy was grinning from ear to ear—two Cabaji's were looped in his arms. Two Cabajis could be anywhere on the battlefield with him at any time. It was USEFUL, it was FLASHY and it meant his first mate was finally gonna feel comfortable.

He was finally going to feel STRONG. This worked out better than he expected, hell, it worked out PERFECT.

"Damn right about that, Croccy!" 

Cabaji– both of him– looked exceptionally pleased. Off balance, but pleased. It was clear that he was contemplating the possibilities.

"Yeah, you know what?" He smiled and pushed his hair out of his face. "I think this is pretty good. Should I uh, try to figure out how to be one guy again?"

"If ya wanna!" Buggy laughed out loud, bumping hips with him—one at a time. "It'll help ya get a handle on your powers if nothin' else." 

"Hold on a minute," Crocodile purred. "Both Cabajis.Hold out your hands. Opposite ones. I want to test something. If your captain doesn't mind."

Cabaji and Cabaji looked at him for confirmation.

Buggy tilted his head, before he gestured. "Go for it, Cabaji…s." he snickered as he put his hands on his hips. "He's a curious guy." 

Each Cabaji held out a hand, one left, and one right, and with a swift gesture of his hook Crocodile drew blood from each of them– a small slash across the top of the hand.

Neither even winced.

"There," Crocodile smugly cleaned the tip of his hook with a handkerchief from his pocket. "Now when you merge back together we'll know something important."

"What…if they heal?" Buggy asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "...that's what you're testin' right?"

"Exactly." Crocodile's grin spread widely over his face. "Will the one Cabaji have one wound or two? And if it's one, which hand?"

Cabaji raised his eyebrows– all four of them. "Huh."

They peeled gently away from Buggy– each one nuzzling one side of his neck with their head first for a moment, before they looked at one another with something approaching suspicion.

Buggy flushed. That was gonna be kind of exciting, honestly, there being two Cabajis around from time to time. His mind briefly went to the gutter before he tilted his head and watched the two stare at one another. 

For a second nothing happened– and then one of them simply blinked out of existence. The remaining Cabaji looked somewhat dizzy for a moment before he reoriented himself.

"Oh that's weird."

"Hot DAMN it was weird to watch, too!"

Buggy leaned forward and grabbed both his hands, looking them over with a wide grin. "Now let's see…." 

Cabaji flushed a little as Buggy grabbed his hands, but he didn't resist in the slightest. Holding them up and inspecting them, Buggy saw there was only one scratch on the back of his right hand. The left was perfectly unmarked.

"Interestin'...so you can't heal completely, but the injuries on the extra body don't stick, right?" 

Crocodile's wide grin somehow got even wider, and Buggy heard that low throaty chuckle of his. "Seems like the copies are spares. Now isn't that fun?"

Buggy nudged Cabaji with a grin. "Pretty damn fun to me! It means you can be a lil' bolder in battle, partner!" 

Cabaji startled as Buggy nudged him and his stern, thoughtful expression turned into a smile. "Damn… you're right."

There was the grin he knew well. He couldn't help but smile even wider as he looped his arm around his shoulder again "I told you it'd work out! It's fucking exciting, ain't it?" 

"Yeah, yeah it is." Cabaji leaned into him. "Feels like I can get back in the spotlight with you, captain."

"Right where you belong, Cabaji." Buggy squeezed him tight. His first mate was a showman, just like him. A flashy actor on the world's stage. He deserved to shine bright right next to him, an honor given by the fact that unlike a lot of the other idiots he'd once worked with…he'd stuck it out through the hard times.

Cabaji was always there—which meant that now that they were on the world stage in a BIG way—he had to get his share of the limelight.

He'd expect nothing less for his first mate.

-

"I think he's going to warm up to me," Crocodile chuckled, puffing on his cigar as they headed back to their impromptu headquarters tent on the concert green. They'd left Cabaji to link up with the other Cross Guild officers, presumably to test his powers and show off a little.

Buggy snickered as he looped an arm around Crocodile's shoulders. "I think so! I mean, that fruit's gonna go a long way, Croccy! Ya helped him out a fucking ton!" 

"He's a good pirate," Crocodile said. "A good fighter. Clearly loyal as fuck to you. He deserves to be able to keep up."

Buggy nodded along with him, smiling from ear to ear. "it's true…he does deserve to keep up. He was one of my first two guys, you know. Back when I first formed the crew. It was him and Mohji. Only he's the only one who stayed. "

"Smart then, too. Fuck that other guy." He took a long puff of his cigar, holding the smoke in his mouth as he passed it to Buggy and pressed it to his lips before exhaling. "Alright. We got a lot of shit to get organized before we get off this rock."

Buggy took a long puff off the cigar with a flush, a little grin on his face as he nodded. "the worst part of any mission—organizin' after. Ugh." 

"Poor clown. Don't worry, as usual, I'll do all the work and you just have to sit there and look pretty."

Buggy felt himself flushing again, sputtering on the smoke "I'm good for more than just lookin' pretty ya know! I'm not some ornament!"

He punched Crocodile on the shoulder with a huff. "I swear, sometimes I think ya just keep me around 'cause of my charming fucking smile and my tight ass." 

Crocodile grinned and rested the curve of his hook on Buggy's tight ass. "What can I say? You charm people with that smile– and that ass. It's useful."

There was a cluster of people hanging around the tent, as he'd expected there to be. The Straw Hats seemed to have camped there– Crocodile didn't mind that in the least. The more firmly they associated themselves with Cross Guild, the happier he was.

Buggy puffed out his cheeks, before he glanced around. "Damn, we're really growin' ain't we? More folks ready to take on the world for us, that's pretty fuckin' great." 

"Sure are." He grinned widely. "Did I tell you we picked up what's left of the Revolutionary Army, it looks like? I still have to talk it over with 'em, but it turns out one of 'em was even on my crew for a while."

Some of them were around, too. Sabo (and Ace), Isuka and… Crocodile's gaze landed on another member of their party, and he realized he knew him too.

Deuce, the pale blue haired depressed prettyboy who he'd stopped from killing himself with alcohol after Ace's death—he was slung over Sabo , or Ace's shoulders and laughing along with something Sabo said…his skin healthier and smile brighter than it had been on that fateful day.

Isuka turned her head, seeming to notice him and grinned, waving his way "Hey! Captain Crocodile! Great to see ya. Sorry again about skipping out on you!"

"You better be!" Crocodile snapped, a smirk across his face. She'd skipped out on him, but he couldn't exactly blame her for it, when you considered the reasoning. Both her and Deuce had been shattered by the death of the same man– a man Crocodile had tried to help save, and frustratingly, been unable to.

But it seemed like it was all working out. 

"Gugugghghh!!" Buggy the clown said for some reason. 

He smacked Buggy's ass with his hook. "What's wrong with you, Clown?"

"Nuh…Nothin! Just lemme hide behind you for a sec, Croccy!" He was…for some reason, BUGGY of all people was trying to shrink his way from the spotlight, inching behind him.

Isuka laughed, clapping her hands together in an apologetic mock bow. "Sorry, sorry! I'll make it up to you…with the Neo Spade Pirates here!"

Deuce waved his hand amusedly. "We haven't firmly decided that's what we're doing yet, Isuka! Don't announce us prematurely! I…" He froze when he looked at Crocodile and the struggling Buggy. "Huuuh." 

Crocodile's brow furrowed. Something weird was going on here. Buggy was acting weird. And now something was up with Deuce?

That was when the flap of the tent opened, and Robin and Vivi came out, chatting with one another.

Robin was murmuring something about their heading—and Memoria—when she cocked her head and noticed Crocodile with a thin smile "ah, Crocodile. It's good to see you."

Deuce—got even weirder, tensing as he stumbled backwards into Isuka, who muttered "what the hell's wrong with you, man? Is it those two?"

It got her a quick "Shut up , shut up!"

Buggy meanwhile had started prickling behind Crocodile and making a nose that nearly made him sound like a sputtering teakettle.

"Crocodile??" Vivi asked, before she leaned around to peer at him with a wide gri.n "And….and…."

Her eyes went wide, and she gasped in shock. "It couldn't be…" 

Crocodile's eyes went wide… and suddenly it all snapped together in an instant. 

He grabbed Buggy's arm with his hook, and pointed at Deuce and Vivi.

"You three, with me. Now."

He wasn't taking no for an answer.

For a moment Buggy looked like he was going to book it, sans arm—but he hung defeated in it with a sigh. "Alright…"

Vivi, shell shocked and quiet, only nodded.

-

Crocodile had cleared everyone else out of the tent, and now it was just him, Buggy, Deuce, and Vivi. Three blue haired pirates he had become intimately acquainted with at wildly different times, under wildly different circumstances.

Buggy he'd first met in the long ago days of their mutual youth, in the chaos of Roger's execution. A young and obnoxious young man eager to prove himself a captain and a showman.

Vivi, he'd met as a little girl in Alabasta, after he'd lost himself as a pirate and a man, and was hiding as the so called 'hero warlord'. Fiery tempered, determined, and rebellious even as a child.

Deuce, he'd met in the aftermath of the devastation of Marineford, drowning himself in drink over the death of Fire Fist Ace.

He looked around at each of them.

Buggy was trying not to look at anyone, his face unmade up for the concert—leaving even his birthmark over his nose visible as he crossed his arms and sank into his chair. His skin was darker than the usual greasepaint belied, a warm and earthy shade, and he had more in common with Vivi than at first blush—from the long lashed eyes to the particular curls of his hair.

Deuce just nervously fidgeted with his hands on his lap,his mask still firmly plastered over his face—but it was easy to see resemblances in him too. Skin tone, facial features, all attempted to be hidden by the mask and the air of debonair 'mystery'. That mystery had kind of left him at the moment, leaving him just—nervous looking.

It really seemed like it was only Vivi who stared at them intently, her arms crossed and her brow furrowed in thought. "...Hm..."

She tightened her arms around herself and leaned forward. "...this isn't how I expected to reunite with my cousin. Or my brother."

Buggy sputtered and held his hands up "it…look…hey!" 

Crocodile smacked his hook on the table with a sharp thump. "Hah! I knew it!! I fucking knew it!"

He should have put it together earlier, he really should have. The port wine stain birthmark over Buggy's nose, that he hid with paint or with a false clown nose The long purple mark hidden on the soft part of Vivi's thigh. 

Crocodile had never seen a birthmark on Deuce, but he was willing to believe that the mask hid something.

When Crocodile had lived in Alabasta, he would occasionally hear rumors and gossip about the missing prince. Vivi's brother, older by almost twenty years, and vanished long ago, never to be seen again.

But he'd never thought about it.

Buggy winced visibly.

"Heheheh…hehhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, yeah. Of course you knew it. That's why you never said jack shit about it, Croccy." He pushed his hand through his hair with a grimace. "Viv, sis…it wasn't like I wasn't gonna contact you or nothin' , it's just…fuck. For a while you were still close with the old man, y'know?"

Vivi puffed out her cheeks, before she jolted forward with both hands slapped down on the table. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, Ba—"

Buggy waved his hands desperately. "Come on, come one! Let's just use Buggy, sis, please!?"

Deuce seemed to be using the sibling argument as an excuse to slowly start sinking in his chair as if he was trying to vanish. 

Crocodile tore his eyes off the bickering siblings just long enough to pin Deuce with his stare and remind him that he knew he was there.

His cigar curled smoke unsmoked between his fingers as the revelation continued to wash over him.

"So you're the prince. The goddamned missing prince of Alabasta."

Buggy's lopsided little smile hitched at the corner. 

"Whoopsie? Hey, look…when your old man is Cobra and his love of duty—you gotta get away, right?" He glanced at Vivi rather desperately. "You get it, right? You ran away too!"

She pouted, huffing softly. "Well yes…and I don't blame you but…geeze. Everyone thought you were just gone! Forever!"

"Yeah uh," Deuce murmured as he adjusted his mask. "Glad you guys are reunited. Hey Croc, can I bug out ? This is really Bagi and Vivi's reunion…"

"Gughgh…" Buggy whined. 

Crocodile pointed his hook at Deuce. "Oh no, not yet, kiddo. I want to know where you figure into this one."

Vivi pursed her lips. She leaned across the table with a smile. "Well isn't it obvious? He's my favorite cousin! The only one who wasn't a huge asshole!"

"Thanks, Vivi…" Deuce murmured quietly, rubbing the back of his neck "Croc, look. I'm nothing special. I ain't even from the main family."

Vivi groaned. "Who cares about that! Crocodile…this is Viridi…my cousin from the Hekau family. They were my mom's side of the family …where our hair and birthmark tendencies come from." 

Crocodile couldn't keep in the chuckle that rolled out of his chest. "I'll be damned. Deuce– the birthmark's gotta be under your mask then? That's the only place I didn't see."

Deuce started to sputter, before he tore his mask from his face and threw it down. His dark cheeks were flushed a vivid red—but there it was, curling down almost like a spiral around one eye, perfectly hidden by his mask. "You got me! Yep!"

Buggy turned and stared at Crocodile before he incredulously screeched "WHAT?"

Vivi's hand snapped to her lips. "You…with the whole family…Crocodile, you…you slept with ALL of us?? Do you have a thing for Alabastan royalty??" 

After all of that, it was Crocodile's turn to be embarrassed. He felt his face heating up, and he thumped his hook on the table.

"Well I didn't think I did til now!! It's a coincidence!"

Maybe he had a thing for blue hair.

Deuce groaned, running his hands through his hair. Without the mask it was pretty obvious their connection—he had the same pretty eyes as Vivi and Buggy.

"This is absurd…absolutely absurd, to think this is how we all run into one another."

"What? A fucking talk with a guy who's got a fetish for royal Alabastans turned pirate?" Buggy snarked…which made Vivi sputter, caught between that and a laugh.

"Geeze, bro!" 

Crocodile huffed and covered his face with his hand. "No, the clown prince is right. It's fucking stupid."

"Clown prince," Vivi giggled, before she practically launched herself over the table to tackle Buggy in a hug, and waved her arm for Deuce to come over too. 

"Come here you two! I'm STILL annoyed you guys both left without inviting ME but…but…" She sniffled "...I'm just glad you're both okay!" 

Crocodile did some math in his head. "Vivi, I don't know how old Deuce is, but were you even born when Buggy split? Were you hoping he'd come and kidnap you?"

Vivi shrugged her shoulders with a huff. "I just wanted to meet him! I'd seen a lot of pictures and I heard a lot of stories…I thought maybe he'd come back and invite me on a big adventure somewhere…I didn't know he'd become a pirate, but like…"

Buggy sighed, and petted her hair with a weak smile. "You know how it is…if I ever came close to fuckin' Alabasta I'd be screwed. I'd be dragged back. So I kept trying to find ways to dodge landing there." 

And of course, for everything before the last two years, Buggy had been stuck out in the fucking East Blue. Crocodile almost brought that up, but decided to at least let Buggy have a little bit of dignity in his reunion.

Deuce rubbed his neck. "...I knew Vivi a little better. We had meetups between the family a few times before I split. Our fathers thought it'd be a good idea if we got to know one another." 

Crocodile nodded. "That sounds about right. It's a shame, Buggy, I never got to see any of those baby pictures."

He couldn't let Buggy have that much dignity though.

Buggy flushed deeply and sputtered. "And yer never gonna!"

"I dunno about that…" Vivi said with a grin. "I could still have one in my stuff, I did pack a bunch of sentimental items before I fled home…"

"I could probably have someone jack some from the royal palace, too," Deuce drawled. "I got connections now." 

Crocodile's smile crawled across his face. He laid the curve of his hook in the palm of his hand. "I'm thinking Cross Guild will put a very high bounty on such an item."

Buggy turned towards him, his eyes wide as he tried to wrestle out from Vivi's sisterly affection to hold his hands up. "You'd better NOT! We ain't paying shit for that!"

"I've got your back, Croccy!" Vivi winked at him "I think you of all people deserve to see 'em!"

Deuce smirked. "...then in addition to our bounty on the Fleet Admiral, I'll expect good pay for 'em, Captain Crocodile. This one we won't have to split with the Boa sisters." 

"Who holds the purse in this operation, Buggy? If you don't want me to pay for em, cough 'em up yourself! Or maybe I should just go find Jewelry Bonney and ask her to show me the real thing."

Buggy sputtered even more, and his eyes went wide. "You fuckin' wouldn't!"

"He would, he takes his amusement very seriously, Buggy!" Vivi nodded her head. "As one of his lovers, I learned that the hard way." 

Crocodile turned red again and chuckled. "I still can't believe I fucked all three of you. I'm never gonna hear the end of this. This is like when I realized Mihawk, Doflamingo and Robin are all named after birds."

"Got a thing for birds, too huh?" Deuce leaned on his hand with a wry smile "...I know Isuka sailed with you. You ever bang her?" 

"... She's not named after a bird, is she?" Crocodile sputtered.

They'd spent two years sailing together. He absolutely had.

Deuce laughed, slapping the table in genuine amusement. "....Croc. Isuka's absolutely named after a bird! It's…it's one of those crossbill types."

Vivi gasped. "Oh wow, you really do have a thing for bird names. Bird names and Alabastan nobility." 

Crocodile's face fell into his hand again. He was never going to live this down.

Vivi finally disentangled herself from her reunion with the brother she'd never met to rustle her fingers through Crocodile's hair "there there…at least there's nobody else you might have slept with from our family! And I can't think of anyone else with a bird name around!"

"I dunno about that," Deuce murmured, tilting his head to the side.

Crocodile looked up at him with trepidation. "Eh?"

"I'm just saying I've been around this party and I'm SURE I've heard a few more bird names floating around."

It was a bit of an ominous prospect. 

Crocodile felt a pang of relief. At least he wouldn't have to admit to whether he had or hadn't slept with Cobra.

[weebsinstash]

Really missed the werewolf/ABO posts!! Do you have more asks on that? Also hope one day we get back to the isekai emperor and male concubine with bakudeku discourse because that was juicy.

Honestly i didn't get sent a lot of asks on that stuff and I kinda stopped posting about the werewolf audiobooks for a while because I just, like, a lot of them follow the exact same formulas and I wasn't sure if I was boring anyone by sharing the drama (and also those stories cost money and I realized that I eas spending, decent amounts of money buying chapter unlock coins)

I have some asks about the whole Emperor baku/concubine izuku/Empress reader stuff and that still sounds so juicy. I dunno if you guys remember but I was getting HELLA into Chinese dramas a while back which combined with manhwa were the inspiration for that baku/reader concept and I still have one I need to finish called Legend of Yangxi Palace and there I'd also Legend of Hao Lan which looks good and has the same actress as the lead. Some of those dramas are kind of cut and paste but when you find a production house wirh a budget, jesus christ. I literally watched Legend of RuYi with my mom and the ending made us WEEP.

But yall if you want to hear more werewolf audiobook shit I was listening to a story a while back called Twice Rejected and it was SO CRAZY like I literally have to tell you this shit in bullet points

-protagonist is named Koko

-Koko's mom is a straight up selfish bitch who was in love with the Alpha of the pack and they turned out not to be chosen mates, and her true mate was, shit i don't remember his name but, Koko's dad. He wasn't wealthy and lived a humble life but was the packs Gamma (if you don't remember that's the wolf who's in charge of helping look after the alphas mate, the Luna)

-this isn't good enough for Bitch Mom and she tries to reject him but he refuses bc he wants to get to know her as his fated mate and she throws a tantrum over this

-one night she gets piss drunk and comes onto him basically out of loneliness, he literally tells her no multiple times because of how drunk she is but she keeps pushing because she feels rejected by the Alpha who is now with someone else and she wants someone to want her, and there's the mate bond and all so, daddy Koko caves

-bitch has the nerve to wake up "UGH you took advantage of me, I hate this, I hate you"

-she gets pregnant from that one time and her family basically forces her to marry the dad who I just remembered is named Mac. Mac Magnus? That name fucking sucks lmao

-Mac is actually such a good guy she does fall in love and she gives birth to twins. Absolutely LOVES the first one that comes out, her name is spelled either Janola or Hanola, the captions suck and I've literally never heard of this name before. But Hanola is a perfect clone of her mom

-unfortunately Koko was an extremely difficult birth, where Hanola was easy Koko took like 10 hours and hurt a lot, and she came out more resembling her father but, Koko also has, um. Dark eyes? It is a plotpoint of her irises "being so dark it's like looking into pure black orbs" and there are old folktales about these wolves being cursed. Um. How do I politely say "I guess Asian people don't exist in this world" because like people are literally looking at her eyes and gasp and they all avoid her like the plague like. Bro it's an eye color?

-its. It's basically kind of lowkey colorism/racism. Hanola is blonde hair blue eyed but poor Koko has dark hair and dark eyes and isn't as pale and her mom HATES HER IMMEDIATELY, like STRAIGHT OUT THE WOMB HATRED

-Mac always loves and supports Koko and chastises his wife for mistreating their daughter but uh he also like. Never fucking puts his foot down either so Koko was bullied even when he wad alive

-that's THE BACKSTORY. Chapter 1 literally begins with Koko's house on fire and her mom is physically fucking beating her, when she's like 5 or something by rhe way she's like literally a fucking toddler, because. Oh no, she did the grave horrible sinful error of. Freaking out over her favorite stuffed rabbit still being in the house and her father chose to go get it and. He died unfortunately

-LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PACK, COMPLETELY UNCRITICALLY, NOT EVEN FUCKING JOKING, SAYS IT'S KOKO'S FAULT HE DIED AND IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S CURSED

-Her mom literally forces her to sleep in the basement and barely even feeds her, beats her constantly, insults her, the entire pack treats her like fucking garbage, even her own sister blames her for what happened to their dad

-kokos mate turns out to be the alphas son, the same Alpha her mother longed for

-bitch ass Hanola, who Koko says has been around the block a few times, steals her mate just to fucking spite her, and her mom LOVES IT because, shit you not, she's still so like fucking, weird about the Alpha who never wanted her that she's like "YES now my daughter will marry his son in my place" like GIRL the projection!!! you had a loving husband who you never even deserved and he should've beat your ass for how you treated his daughter

-I like, only vaguely remember certain details because this happened so long ago but, uh, Koko's mate rejects her, takes her sister, and they even spread lies about Koko and like my blood was fucking boiling. Her mate Alpha orders her, as in she physically cannot resist, to watch them have sex, and THEN the SPITEFUL FREAKS go around the pack saying "that ugly slut koko tried to claim the Alpha as hers when he wasn't and she was even caught peeping on them having sex, what a freak and a pervert"

-by the way they just constantly insult her no matter what she does, calls her ugly despite her being an identical twin to Hanola besides hair and eye color, calls her useless, calls her fat even though she's literally malnourished

-THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FUCKING INSANE

-all of a sudden, Hanola turns out to have a very weak heart that she was concealing, and she needs a transplant within two weeks or she will die. I personally believe Hanola did this on purpose, because

-KOKO'S MOM AND THE PACK DOCTORS DEADASS ASK KOKO FOR HER FUCKING HEART BECAUSE, "well waiting for a transplant might take too long"

-they bully the fuck out of Koko until she agrees and they STILL TREAT HER LIKE GARBAGE. Koko is over here "if I'm so worthless and a mistake and killed my father, at least I can save my sister"

-THEY NEVER EVEN LET HER SEE HWR SISTER. THEY TELL HER SHE HAS GERMS AND WILL MAKE HER SICK. she never literally never gets to speak with her sister before she's supposed to die for her. They will not even let her do that and even accuse her of wanting to see Hanola to harm her even though Koko is still attached to her because they were close as children

-Koko is treated extremely well for two weeks, finally actually being fed and treated kindly because oh say stress might damage the heart Hanola is supposed to get

-this. This part is absolutely fucking crazy. It's literally the day of the fucking transplant and they say "nah koko fuck you, you can't even ride in the same car with us to the hospital where you're going to die, here's some money, get your own ride" like jesus christ cannot emphasize enough that they literally singlehandedly caused what is about to happen over sheer pettiness like how the fuck would you take excellent care of that donor heart and then not even help transport it safely to the hospital, like at least for Hanola's sake you think they would have

-Koko accidentally goes to the wrong hospital, and she's rushing around begging for money for a cab, desperate to, again, die for her sister

-SHE GETS HIT BY A FUCKING CAR

-She's passed out in the hospital for, unfortunately, 3 weeks. She rushes back to the pack and everyone accuses her of murder because her sister died. They literally surround her while her mother beats the absolute shit out of her saying she was a mistake and she wishes she had died in the fire instead of her father like her mom is literally dragging her around by her hair

-they don't even believe or listen to her and they reveal a shocking truth: before Hanola died, her last wish was for KOKO TO SUFFER TO DEATH in a real specific way

-in a lot of these stories, when a werewolf doesn't have a pack, they turn rogue, it changes their scent and everything, and it can make them go completely feral. Something something "our wolves belong in packs and we lose ourselves without them". Hanola's dying wish was literally for her sister to be cast out and turned rogue so she would literally slowly suffer insanity and die

-she's in the woods, as an outcast, and they're literally following her around making sure she doesn't reach another pack, they literally beat her and chase her off when she tries to get help from other people

-she gets away somehow, I don't remember how, I think the moon goddess literally teleports her to where her new mate is supposed to be and she winds up in a town where everyone immediately treats her like garbage just because of her eyes

-cue meeting her mate, the beta of the pack she's in, and he instantly rejects her as well because he instantly recognizes her as "koko magnus, the black eyed curse girl who killed her father"

-finally, she gets a new mate, Alpha Nile, who's last mate Erika unfortunately killed herself because she couldn't conceive an heir and the entire pack shunned her and treated her like absolute trash including Niles' mother who deliberately started rumors about her and eventually caused her suicide

-Nile uh, ok his full name is literally Nile Heaven and he actually met Koko as a child and didn't tell her his name, he only called himself "Alpha from Heaven" and comforted her when she was crying and said she wasn't ugly or cursed, just unique, and she would find someone someday (and it turned out to be him lol)

-but like literally everyone continues to call her a black eyed curse and she eventually has to win their respect but like she gets kidnapped by someone who's pining after Niles and is horrifically tortured and beaten and all of that and by the way Koko realizes just before the kidnapping, before she can tell Nile, that she's pregnant

-Koko was one of those "my wolf appeared super late or was originally super weak but I'm actually supernaturally powerful" and tbh I can't remember much of the plot from here but, it gets a happy ending, Nile's mother is forced to accept she was wrong and regret her actions after both Nile and his sister shun her and remove her form her position as Queen Mother and she even helps rescue Koko

-as one final kick in the teeth, this is one of those stories where the POV doesn't just go from ML to FL, it also bounces to side characters, and guess who we get to see again? Koko's BITCH MOM

-bitch mom deadass admits in her head she still hates Koko and thinks she's useless, but maybe the little doormat can be of use to her now that she's the mate of Alpha King Nile

-honestly it was deadass so infuriating, Koko apparently never went into extreme detail on how her mom participated in all of her abuse so like, guess what. Bitch mom shows up, "oh koko my lovely daughter I've missed you so much" and Koko is just like "who the fuck is this? Guards, take her away" and. Fucking. Nile and his fucking sister are just like "OH GOODNESS this ISNT YOU KOKO 🥺 you told US to accept OUR mom, you can't turn her away, she's YOUR MOTHER" like deadass I think have broken up with Nile over this. He straight up invites her mom to stay with them in the castle and the dumb bitch gets the highest quality amenities and treated super special

-deadass I don't even remember what happened to her mom, but I'm pretty sure I remember she did some dirty sketchy shit and died

And yeah the story ends with Koko and Nile having a newborn baby girl who they name Aurora and they live happily ever after and like, it was a well written story, just like. So many fucking chapters man, and when you have to pay to unlock, it really does add up

OH YEAH ONE MORE CURVEBALL. I made a post recently something like "I was deadass 80 chapters into this story and they suddenly swerve and give her a new love interest, this is 120 chapters, this is so late in the game"

Well guess why that bullshit was

"Hey you know this guy you rejected because he was being lowkey abusive as fuck and literally marked you by force and Alpha ordered you to not be able to leave his pack, basically robbing of free will, and also during this time he was "having trouble deciding" between you and an ex girlfriend who he caught cheating on him and he was just keeping you waiting in the wings and left you hanging for ages? yeah turns out YOURE JUST A SUPER SPECIAL WOLF WITH TWO MATES UWU now you can be SHARED by your new mate who is literally a vampire king who instantly treated you better and with more respect than the last fuckbag who bssicaply instantly agreed to treat your child with another man as his own child and make them the heir to his throne, and youre gonna BE SHARED with the old dickbag you literally rejected already but lucky you the rejection doesn't even count because HE doesn't accept it! Yaaay, no actual free will, yaaaay, you're literally with your new boyfriend who you love passionately and you're still feeling the mate bond with this the last bastard you literally ran away from, yaaaaay!"

Deadass, they let you get over ONE HUNDRED FUCKING CHAPTERS IN AND DROP THAT SHIT ON YOU. "Oh you thought she was gonna have a healthy relationship with the new guy? NAH FUCK YOU, BRING THE GUY IN HERE WHO MARKED HER BY FORCE" like. How fucking dare you make me pay money for this. Oh and also? She was also horrifically abused by her family but her sister finally comes around and defends her and apologizes for everything and her sister is MURDERED by the protags first mate who chose her sister over her because he decides "oh nah I actually the FL the whole time, I'm gonna make you miscarry and kill you"

The sister actually got brought back to life by the moon goddess too, MG was deadass "yooooo i am actually SO SORRY GIRL, i told you if you repented you could potentially have a better life and i even showed you possible visions of the future being happy with your mate but i couldnt predict how evil that mf who killed you was, im reviving you and sending you your sister's way for protection as an apology" and i kinda wanna just listen to a few more chapters just so she can find out her sister is alive again but other than that, like, fuck you with this "shared mate" bullshit one of them is legitimately awful

Also it was really sad when Sophie (the sister) miscarried because she was diagnosed with SEVERE endometriosis which my mom has actually, doctors told her I technically shouldn't have been able to be born, I was like her miracle baby, so it like. Legitimately ripped my heart out because he literally kicks her stomach and leaves her for dead in the woods after telling her he'll kill her if she tells anyone and then he killed her by poisoning her anyways (and the bitch who did it? The ex that the FLs second mate was going to leave her for because the ex was lying about him being the father of her baby when it was the man she cheated on him withs"

Oh and I just remembered. Even though Sophie miscarried and then was killed later on, Moon Goddes was like, you know what, this is on me, I'll fix this, and when she revives Sophie, she gives her her baby back 🥺 honestly probably the best MG I've encountered because most times she's just like "it is simply fate my child uwu" like fuck you, at least this MG admits she fucked up big time and immediately made up for it

So. yeah as you can see, tons of fucking drama over here in werewolf world, and I also have a new story on a new app where I think the FL is literally going to end with basically THE GOD OF SHIFTERS? get your fucking bag girl, hop on that shadow beast dick 👏

[matt0044]

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