#the comments are largely people being upset about the gambling ad

[templeofshame]

First time hearing a youtuber do a gambling ad with all the disclaimers. Are we gonna get youtuber prescription drug ads next?

[implausiblyjosh]

Cohost Criticisms

The following was posted on cohost, which you can find here:

Being upset that people are like "why aren't the financial updates on time, why aren't you explaining the downtime" is baffling to me. They built this site on transparency! Their funding comes with the expectation of financial transparency! Regardless of if people should put faith in the four randoms running the website, people have and it's definitely worrying when the "here's the forecast on how long the lights stay on" post isn't on time.

Additionally, it's totally fine to worry about adding on a ton of extra workload to the site. Remember when the bug report page was overrun with viagra and gambling spam for weeks because no one kept up with it? Or when the site was down with no communication. Apparently paid Artist Alley posts got backlogged. It took someone making two posts on here about horribly bigoted comments on a staff post before moderation happened because the official moderation channels were not working (and the one moderator of the site was a bit of a self-admitted coward in handling moderation of a bigoted comment!). And now you're telling me you're adding tag wrangling, a feature that AO3 seemingly needs a volunteer army for, to your site with no plans of making it sustainable? Y'all seemingly couldn't get one of the other three people of the four person team on the ball with the financial transparency posts that are part of your funding agreement, why should we be excited or hopeful for this new feature?

I get people really want this site to work for them. I'd love for any new social media site to work for me! But unless something drastically changes, the writing is clearly on the wall that this is not that site.

The following is new for you, people reading on Tumblr:

There's a lot of stuff busted with Cohost, and while I think a large part of it comes down to culture issues, there are genuine issues at the foundation of the site. The company that owns it is an LLC, despite being labeled as a "not for profit" operation. But that really doesn't matter, they will never get a change to make a profit, because they're paying themselves "tech workers in silicon valley" money to run their site that makes no profit. Additionally, they have not found a way to crack that nut of profitability, being only funded by some pseudonymous wealthy friend, and with no clear path to "making enough money to get out of debt and/or pay staff", let alone profit.

So there are core issues foundational to the site, but Cohost diehards get extremely upset about the concept of criticizing or talking about cohost in ways they don't like, trying to paint people as bad faith as soon as possible. It's incredibly frustrating! A lot of those Cohost diehards are friends of the owners, so every criticism of cohost is an attack on the friends. You can see this here, where one of said friends of the owners is in my comments defending their "if you don't like it, just leave and stop criticizing my friends business" comments. At one point, people were saying that complaining about accessibility features was like whining to McDonalds cashiers and trashing bathrooms... when the site is worked on by the owners. There are no cashiers, just well-paid owners trying to sell you on a nonprofit fantasy so you'll buy ads or get a subscription.

I want the site to work out because I would like for there to be a semi-permanent place for me to exist online. However... it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen if they refuse to change and they keep up this shitty culture.

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 24: The Last Night Of Freedom

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 3402

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering, nudity, Daddy!Kink, Dom!Steve, sub!Reader, dirty talk, cussing, alcohol, implications of female strippers.

A/N: Just so you know, Y/F/N means Your Friend’s Name and Y/C/N means Your Cousin’s Name; both female in this case. Though if you aren’t close with any cousins, you can just imagine another friend. Enjoy this chapter!

“May your bachelorette party be filled with and fun, love, laughter, and most importantly, lots and lots of liquor.” Natasha spoke with a smirk before shouting “To Y/N!” as a closer to her Maid of Honour speech, or what was at least a shorter version. The real one would take place in exactly a week, but instead of being in front of five other ladies, it would be in front of about two hundred wedding guests.

The small circle of women all cheered and clinked their glasses together, repeating “To Y/N!” with huge smiles before tipping their drinks back.

A group of people from a table nearby started to clap, making the bride-to-be blush and give them a small wave after she finished her sip.

Y/F/N turned around to the look at the supportive Las Vegas bar patrons before facing back to Y/N with a smile. “Ooo, N/N. Looks like that one guy over there recognizes you.” She discretely nudged her head towards the handsome brunette who was sitting right across from them. “He’s cute, you should go for it.”

“Dude, I’m getting married in literally a week.” The actress stated, shaking her head at her friend’s silliness.

Maria smirked. “Still, it’s never too late to call it off.”

Y/C/N laughed at the comment, completely knowing that it was a joke. You’d have to be completely blind to not see the pure love between Steve and Y/N. “Ya, then that way I could have the Captain all for myself.”

“Oh please.” Y/N playfully shook her head. “We all know that Natasha would have next dibs.”

The assassin scoffed in response. “Says who?”

The woman of the hour raised her eyebrows. “You, ‘ya big fiancé kisser!”

The table erupted in gasps and giggles.

“Wait, wait, wait, what happened?” Pepper chimed in.

Maria chuckled. “Oh ya, I heard about that!”

“She kissed Steve when they were in Washington like a year ago.” Y/N explained, pretending to be mad when in reality she was completely over it. “He wasn’t technically my fiancé yet, but you still kissed my boyfriend.”

“It was for a mission! The guys could’ve killed us if we were recognized! I did what I had to do to hide our faces.” Natasha stated, throwing an arm up and down in exaggeration. “How did you even find out? Did Steve tell you?”

“Well, duh!” Y/N said with a laugh. “The man apologized to me like five times.”

“But you kiss a ton of actors all the time for your job.” Pepper pointed out with furrowed eyebrows and tilted her head. “Do you apologize?”

The girl in question nodded her head. “At first, for sure. It was pretty hard for him to deal with, and that’s why he felt so guilty doing the same back to me.” She took another sip of her drink, watching Natasha’s expression from over the rim of her glass. The redhead had an uncharacteristically ashamed look on her face. “Relax, Nat.” Y/N spoke after putting her empty glass down on the glossy wood table. “I’m not really upset, I was just kidding.”

Y/F/N grinned. “So... free dibs to kiss Mr. America then?”

“Absolutely not.”

*****

“To Steve!” Sam cheered, urging the other four guests to repeat him, while the one man of the hour just stood there and beamed.

After taking a long sip of his beer, Clint slapped a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. “May your bachelor party be one to remember.”

“Your last night of freedom.” Rhodes added.

Steve shook his head with a smile. “Well, we can’t exactly call it my last night of freedom. The wedding is a whole seven days away.”

“Still,” Tony cocked his head to the side, “the last night where you’re not tied down to the responsibilities of becoming a husband.“

And it was exactly that. Y/N and the wedding planner had reserved the entire upcoming week to set things up for the ceremony, reception, and photoshoot in between.

“Come on,” Thor, who came back to Earth specifically for these festivities, let out a deep chuckle, “you can tell by the look in this man’s eyes that he truly loves all the weddingly duties.”

Sam nodded. “We all know that Cap would rather be snuggled under the covers with Y/N somewhere than be here with us.”

Steve gave them one of his half grins. “Regardless of what I’d rather or be doing right now,-”

“Or who you’d rather be doing.” Tony interrupted, making the circle of men laugh and the groom-to-be roll his eyes.

“Anyways, I really do appreciate you guys bringing me here.” Steve stated, glancing around their private room at one of Las Vegas’ fanciest bars. It was something that only the big names of the Avengers could book, and the big wallet of Tony Stark could afford.

“The evening’s only beginning though, right, Stark?” Clint waggled his eyebrows up and down with a cheesy smirk.

“Most definitely.” Tony snickered before checking the time on his very expensive watch, seeing that it was now 9:56 at night. “And in a little less than five minutes, the show will finally start.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “What show? I thought we were just going to go back down and gamble some more.”

In order to avoid the man’s eyes, Sam and Tony glanced at their shoes as Clint took a sip of his drink in hopes to hide his smile. Rhodes started to chuckle a little bit, meanwhile Thor was just as confused as the super soldier.

“What did you guys plan?” Steve questioned, suddenly bringing out his special Captain America voice that was only reserved for missions; sometimes the bedroom.

Stark just shrugged mischievously.

“Tony, guys, I swear to Go-”

Roger’s words were interrupted by the sound of squealing women, high heels thumping down the hallway, and a big speaker that was playing some new sensual pop song that he had never heard before.

“You didn’t.” Steve ground his teeth in frustration, eyeing each of his friends. “Whose idea was this?”

Sam sheepishly raised his hand. “It’s my duty as Best Man to give you the best night ever!”

“I thought that we had discuss-”

The double doors suddenly burst open, revealing a large clan of attractive women wearing very, very little clothing. “Oh, Captain!” They called before skipping into the room and circling around the seemingly uncomfortable man.

Steve just sighed as he glanced around the approximately ten pretty faces surrounding him, eyes not daring to stray any lower than their chins. “Oh boy.”

*****

The music of the bar club just seemed to get louder and louder, clouding all of her senses as she took another sip of what was probably her third drink of the evening. Y/N wasn’t exactly drunk yet, but tipsy enough to not really care that she’d been sitting alone for the last half an hour.

Las Vegas was pretty fancy, the girl would have to give it that. The bars were lined with more liquor bottles than she could count, not a finger smudge on any of them, and she was pretty sure that her hotel room was at least 50% marble.

But of course, that could’ve just been Tony’s miraculous planning skills; or Tony’s miraculous stack of money. Y/N couldn’t even imagine what it would cost to bring all twelve people in the wedding party to Las Vegas for the weekend, let alone stay in the two nicest casino hotels in the area.

Yes, two. One for the men, one for the women. Sam and Natasha took great responsibility in their Best Man and Maid of Honour roles, deciding to have the two groups bunk separately, almost ten blocks apart. It was Steve and Y/N’s bachelor and bachelorette parties after all, one of their last nights being two singles. Everyone wanted the pair to spend it to its full extent.

Vibrations coming from her clutch broke Y/N out of her slightly tipsy haze, making the girl take out her cellphone and instantly smile when she saw that it was Steve calling her. “Hello?” She spoke after answering it.

“Hey, sweetheart.” The man said from the other end.

“Honey.” She greeted as she sat up straighter on her barstool, becoming excited at the sound of his voice, “What’s up?”

“Just miss you, that’s all.”

Y/N beamed. They had only been apart for half of a day, and he had already wanted to see her. “I miss you too, Stevie. You having fun?”

“Uh,” the Captain puffed out a breath, “ya, ya, tons of fun. T-Tame fun, nothing too crazy.” He told her, trying to hide the fact that there had just been plenty of almost-naked women dancing around him. “What about you?”

“Well,” Y/N looked around the noisy bar that she was in, still seeing none of her friends around, “it’s been okay.”

“Only okay?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, it started out great.” She explained. “But, uh, everyone ‘sorta went off to do their own thing.”

“They ditched you?” Steve sternly asked, mad at the fact that Y/N was all by herself in the busy city of Las Vegas.

“No!” She shook her head back and forth, even though he couldn’t actually see her. “Pepper and Y/C/N we’re doing so well in the casino that I just let them keep going, last time I saw Nat and Maria they were playing pool, and Y/F/N went off somewhere to hook up with this random guy.”

“Awe, doll. I’m so sorry.” Steve comforted.

Y/N gloomily tapped her nails against the sleek wood bar top, her other hand still holding the phone to her ear. “It’s alright. You know that these clubs and all aren’t exactly my scene anyways.”

“Here,” the man spoke up, coming upon a realization, “I have an idea. Why don’t you go down to the lobby, and I’ll meet you there?”

“You ‘wanna come over here?”

Steve answered like it was obvious. “Of course.”

Y/N was confused. “But hon, it’s your bachelor party. The whole point of the night is to be away from each other. I don’t ‘wanna ruin your fun.”

He shook his head at her words, telling even from blocks away that there was a sheepish look painted on her face. “You honestly think that you’d be ruining my fun? Baby, you are my fun.” Steve looked around the room that he was in, making sure all of his friends seemed alright on their own. “Just meet me down there, N/N. Then we can go up to your room, and I’ll give you the best bachelorette party that you could ever ask for. That’s a promise.”

*****

Y/N fumbled with her hotel room key card as she struggled to unlock her door, getting the red light instead of the green light every time. Though to her defence, there was a major distraction grinding up against her backside.

“Better hurry up, baby girl. I’m getting impatient here.” Steve whispered huskily into her ear, leaving her shivering.

The girl finally managed to unlock her door, and the moment she did, it was closed from the inside and she was shoved against it. Y/N’s legs around Steve’s waist, his lips against her neck. She let out a high-pitched moan.

“Oh, you like that, baby? You like it when your daddy’s rough with you?”

Another whine in response.

“I need an answer, baby.” The man added with a particularly harsh bite to her neck. Y/N instantly knew there’d be marks the next day, worrying that they’d still be there for the wedding, but was too turned on to say anything.

“Yes.” She managed to let slip past her lips.

“‘Yes’ who?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” Just as every time, the word ‘daddy’ went straight to Steve’s dick; the evidence was extremely prominent against Y/N’s thigh. 

He had-had enough by now. And so, he grabbed on to the neckline of her olive green dress and ripped it straight down. His plump lips instantly attacked her chest, which to both his surprise and delight, was not clad in a bra.

“I knew it.” Steve rasped. “Have you been braless all night, my naughty girl?”

“Yes, daddy.” Y/N said shakily. But who could blame her for not wearing one? It was a strapless dress and the top part was double-layered anyways.

“I bet you aren’t wearing any panties either.” He said in between sloppy kisses to her breasts. “I think I have to check.” And with that, he strongly pressed the fingers of his right hand against her clit, being correct about the lack of underwear. But once again, who could blame her? The bottom part of her bodycon dress was very thin, and she definitely couldn’t have panty lines.

“Daddy.” The girl whined.

His fingers then slipped inside her tight, aching hole, repeatedly thrusting in and out.

Y/N’s legs turned to jelly, instantly hanging against Steve’s sides. Luckily though, due to his brute strength and the sturdiness of the hotel’s door, she stayed upright as he continued fucking her with his fingers.

“Cum for me baby, cum for your daddy.” He ordered, his thumb and forefinger instantly pinching her clit.

So with that, Y/N let go of any last bit of control she had left, and came. Hard.

The room was filled with the sounds of whines, panting, and the squishing of Steve’s fingers inside of her wet opening.

“Shhh, shh.” He cooed as she came down from her high. “You did so great, my precious girl.” Right as Y/N felt brought back down to Earth, he started counting in a low voice “That’s one.”

Uh oh, she though to herself. It was one of those nights. Those nights were Steve repeatedly made her cum until she was so sensitive that she couldn’t even move. And it’s not that Y/N didn’t enjoy these nights, because she sure did, but she also knew that once he was getting started, there was no way of getting him to stop.

Steve brought his right hand up to his mouth, slowly and sensually licking the juices off each individual finger as if savouring the taste of her. The man adjusted his hands underneath Y/N’s thighs before he quickly walked them both to the bed, throwing her onto it.

Just as quickly, Steve took off his sport coat and crawled overtop of her with a low growl; this just added to her wetness. “Let’s see how many more you’ve got in you, little girl.” He said with quirked up lips. But that sly smirk was soon out of Y/N’s field of view, as his mouth descended to her dripping pussy.

“Oh, Jesus.” She said as she felt his tongue against her.

He peered up from between her legs. “That’s not my name, princess.” 

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

Steve went back down and continued his delicious assault on her core. With every stroke of his tongue, Y/N felt as if she was being pulled further and further away from her coherent thoughts. The only two things on her mind being the feel of his mouth on her vagina, and the slight brush of his nose against her clit every time he shifted his head.

“Daddy, I-I-I’m going to cum again.” Y/N stuttered.

The words “Do it, babydoll.” vibrated against her pussy, pushing the girl over the edge for a second time.

Steve lapped up every last drop that Y/N had to offer, and once he went up the bed so that they were eye to eye, licked his lips. The man looked every bit as much as a cat who just got his cream. “Two.” He proudly rumbled into her ear.

Y/N was still in her post-orgasm bliss as she heard the sound of Steve’s belt being undone and dropped to the floor. She turned her head just in time to see him finish unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his sculpted chest and abs. Next to go was his pants and boxer briefs, Steve’s large hands pulling them both down all at once. 

Y/N’s mouth watered at the sight of his delicious cock. No matter how many times that she had seen it and felt it before, the size continued to overwhelm her.

As if the man had read her mind, “You like what you see, my baby?” He took the handy condom out of his wallet, rolling it on and stroking himself in the process.

Too caught up in the sight of what was him, all that Y/N could do was nod her head.

Once again, Steve made his way to hover above her. One moment, the girl was staring up into his beautiful blue eyes, and the next, she was moaning out in surprise at the sudden impact of him inside of her. 

Just as suddenly, his dick started to thrust in and out of her at a slow, leisurely pace. Steve was doing it specifically to drive her insane. It had worked.

“Faster, daddy.” Y/N whimpered.

“Baby girl, is that how you ask daddy a question?” The Captain retaliated as he continued to move in and out of her wanting hole.

The girl was almost crying at this point, “Please, please daddy, can you go please faster?”

Steve, starting to get impatient himself, began to fuck her more quickly. He could see how easily she was falling apart underneath him by each squeeze of her walls around his member.

And with a gasp, Y/N was cumming again.

“Three.” Steve groaned out as he was slowing his thrusts. The man then pulled out of her, his dick still as hard as ever.

Without warning the girl was tossed onto her stomach, Steve’s big hands harshly grasping her hips and bringing them closer to his own. There would definitely be bruises the next day, matching the ones he already made on her neck and chest. But she decided she’d wear them all with pride, and maybe a bit of concealer if necessary.

Steve entered her a second time, his pace being even quicker than before; if possible. He could see Y/N’s hands strongly grasping the sheets from his place behind her, just loving how desperate she was for him.

Between the feeling of her tight pussy around him and the continual sounds she was making, the man figured that it wouldn’t be long before he finished. But, he knew he could give her one more first. Steve was the type who got off on getting her off. Y/N had no complaints.

As he started to rub circles on her clit, she loudly moaned out into the vast expanse of her hotel room.

“Come on little girl, give me one more,” Steve huffed. “Cum once more for daddy.”

With that last bit of encouragement, the girl came again; her biggest orgasm of the night triggering his own.

“Y/N, baby.” He groaned out as she collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. Steve swerved just in time to avoid crushing her, running a hand through his damp golden hair. “Best. Bachelor. Party. Ever.” He spoke in between pants of breath.

The girl turned onto her back and nodded her sweat-covered head. “Agreed.”

The man only stayed on the bed a minute before he was up and heading to the ensuite bathroom. He returned with a wet, warm washcloth and began to rub in between Y/N’s thighs, cleaning her up.

“Thank you.” She said hoarsely, her voice practically wrecked after the night’s activities.

“Of course.” Steve replied with a sincere smile. How in less than five minutes he went from a dominant sex god to a sweet and wholesome boyfriend would forever remain a mystery to Y/N.

He returned the cloth to the restroom before making his way back to the bed, turning off the room’s lights along the way.

“I love you so much.” The Captain stated as he tucked them both underneath the covers and pulled her into his arms.

The effect that this man had on her never failed, as Y/N was blushing at the simple phrase they’ve said over a thousand times. “I love you more.” She added cheekily.

“Not possible.” Steve contradicted, just as usual. And before she could counter back, he placed a loving kiss right on her lips.

“Goodnight, Stevie.” Y/N spoke as she turned in his arms, having him spoon her.

“Goodnight, my love.” But, it only took about three seconds before he was speaking up again. “Oh, and babydoll?”

“Mm-hmm?” Y/N replied, almost asleep.

“Four.”

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!❤️

[flappypineapples]

Escapism Ch. 2

The carriage ride was bumpy as all carriage rides seem to be in London. Cordelia pushed the curtain back to glance outside at the passing street. The sky was grey with clouds, much like Cordelia's own thoughts.

She shivered.

She knows she has no real right to be upset with James, their emgamemt is a sham and he doesn't truly love her, not in the way he loves Grace but it still hurts. She did truly believe him when he had promised to be faithful. A bitter chuckle catches in her throat. But she supposed that to was another thinly veiled sham.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the feeling of heavy wool settling on her shoulders. She turned to see Matthew fiddiling with the fabric on the upholstery. He looked straight ahead, his expression hidden by the shadows of the evening sun.

"You seemed cold, you don't have a wrap or anything and it's getting late".

Anna watched them thoughtfully from her seat. She leaned forward resting her elbows on her spread knees and bringing her hands up to below her chin.

"Oh I just can't wait to see how this delightful night enfolds".

---

Matthew would be boldface lying if he said he wasn't deeply worried. Cordelia was meant to be the grounded, level headed girl of his secret desires, close enough to admire but never venturing too far into his own world. It was easier to bear that way. But here she was, thoughtful and determined not on battle strategy or word play but leisure and temptation. She wanted to see the world he loved and resided in with no alternative motive of mockery or investigation.

He expected this behavior from James or Lucie, Herondales were always known to throw themselves headlong into riské situations. From Christopher who perhaps had absentmindedly wandered into a world of magic like Alice in Wonderland. Even sooner from Thomas who had a silent appreciation for the mundane art of the world. But yet again Matthew had underestimated Cordelia and her range of emotion and action. Her heart seemed to flutter like a moth near an oil lamp, refusing to be pinned down by the wings.

But most of all Matthew wanted to help her. He could never help himself and it occured to him that he may be in the unique position to help someone else. Not only help them but guide them into a world he so loved. The thought excited him, walking Cordelia into the Hell Ruelle and introducing her to all his favorite corners and mates. Perhaps maybe she would want more of the world after tonight. He could show her all his favorite haunts of London, a satue garden or even take her to a Mundane theatre to see a production of The Importance of Being Earnest. Matthew cut his thoughts off there. It was not his place to be courting his parabatai's soon to be wife no matter the circumstance of their emgamemt. He was simply here to protect Cordelia from any harm that may come to her tonight as any good upstanding Parabatai would do for their blood brothers partner. This was soley a mission of protection and honor. But even as Matthew absentmindedly reached for his flask and took a glance at Cordelia's face from the corner of his eyes he knew that was a lie. He let his eyes trail breifly over her sharp nose and beautiful dark eyes.

An interesting night indeed.

---

The carriage rolled to a stop as the sun was fully dipped into the pool of the night sky. The moon was just starting to emerge from the horizon as they stepped out of the carriage. Matthew went second after Anna and stiffly helped Cordelia down to the stones. The night air was still damp with the whisper of recently shed rain but now a sharp breeze had cut through that musky air freezing it. Cordelia pulled Matthew's jacket around herself tighter.

They walked inside together. The inside air was thick with sweet and smoke and Cordelia smelled the air greatfully. It was a relaxing break from the stiff smell London air. Anna passed some quick words with the door guard and they sauntered inside gracefully.

Cordelia was yet again struck with the beauty of such a place. A young fairie man with gold eyelashes and dark skin winked at her and Matthew as he passed by. A young werewolf girl sat perched on the arm of a lush green couch with a flute resting below her red staining lips. As she played the warm air of her breath created disappearing clouds that seeped through the keys. Lily the vampire server saw them come in and swayed over hastily.

"Reginald has been learning how to juggle all week and we've all made bets on how many different items he can keep in the air." She blew a lock of loose hair out of her face. "I lost a bet to a ifrit with one arm and the largest mustache I've ever seen, I bet you half his gambling salary goes towards beard wax, drinks?"

She breathlessly holds forward her serving tray of champagne and Cordelia hastily plucks a flute. Matthew expertly fingers two in one hand, handing the second to Anna and going back for a second for himself.

Anna surveys the room and lands her gaze on a circle of guests standing alterly around a man. Over there heads every couple of seconds seems to fly another blue and white china saucer. The crowd claps and cheers with every plate joining the air.

"If you'll excuse me Cordelia I must go see what this commotion is all about. Matthew I do trust you'll take complete care of Cordelia while I am away with miss Chen?"

"I can take perfectly good care of myself", Cordelia cut in quickly, plucking Matthew's jacket from her shoulders. Lily smiled admiringly.

Anna smiled as well, "Yes of course but Matthew isn't the one who came to my flat drenched in rain demanding debauchery".

Matthew's eyes glittered over the rim of his champagne flute, "for once".

With that Anna had turned; sweeping Lily up in her sway and leaving Matthew and Cordelia alone in a room full of motion.

Matthew deposited his now empty glasses on the nearest side table and took his coat from Cordelia, shrugging it on. Cordelia turned to deposit her empty flute next to Matthew's. When she turned back around Matthew brandished a small tin of white hard candies to her. She hesitantly took one looking at him quizzically.

"They're french", he answered to her unasked question. "Anise of Flavigny, these are rose flavored. Don't bite down on them though, they'll break your teeth". Matthew brandished his signature smile as if to show off his perfectly unbroken teeth as an example.

Cordelia couldn't help but smile warmly back as she popped the small candy in her mouth. The taste of roses brought her back to being a child and having her cook mix sweet rose syrup and water to make her and her brother rose water to drink in the summer. She thought it strange to find such warm childhood memories in a place she would consider so far from the inocents of childhood.

"Matthew?"

"Hmm?", Matthew looked back down at her, he had seemed distracted and distant but it seemed her words snapped him back to reality.

"What do er do we do?", The thought occured to Cordelia that she didn't know much of what really went on in a salon and she wasn't to keen on flailing about trying to figure it out and making a fool of herself.

Matthew threw his head back lazily and giggled, it wasn't a mocking laugh but instead it seemed to be a laugh of pure delight.

"Oh Cordelia this is the question isn't it?", He extended his arm to her to take and she took it hesitantly. He was warm and humming with energy. "Come along now, there's loads to see and do".

Matthew led them over to a large seated vampire who seemed to be talking to a small group of people who were nodding and commented with eachother. On the way he has snagged two dark glasses of wine and handed one to Cordelia. She took a long drink of it, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste but welcoming the warm feeling it spread throughout her. Matthew skillfully wedged their bodies into the fray of the conversation and began listening contently.

"If the mundanes keep palling around the Middle East and digging up all those tombs they're going to end up releasing some angry old spirit of curse on all those poor locals."

A silver haired nymph cut in quickly "did you know they're eating bits of mumified person now? They think it'll give them good health, I would never eat such an old human, it seems rotten and distasteful."

"Some even think they'll be able to find the fountain of youth off the White Nile, I think they're fools the lot of them." The werewolf man added.

Cordelia was constantly ammused by the da gerous and expensive lengths mundane women would go to look young and thought back to her comment on how It'd be so much easier to just become a vampire.

The group of guests began to laugh mirthfully and look at her.

"Amusing observation, especially amusing coming from one so young and pretty" said the Nymph woman examining Cordelia head to toe. Cordelia flushed in embarrassment, she hadn't meant to say her comment out loud for everyone to hear. She looked up to Matthew in alarm and found him smiling warmly down at her; apparently just as ammused as the rest of the crowd. The group of guests had moved onto another discussion and Matthew guided her away clearly finding their new topic too boring for their adventurous night. He led her into a side hallway slightly quieter than the fray of the main room but with a wide view still of it's goings.

He took her arm and brought her to sit beside him on a plush loveseat against the wall. The couch was a dark nightly ocean blue with nude carved women making up the wood accents of the back. Cordelia finished off her glass and reached for another drink from a passing servers tray. She hiccuped as she took a drink from her new glass.

She watched the juggling man now hold or rather toss 4 live lobsters around while a warlock woman standing by him collected bet money. She scanned the room for Anna but she was no where to be found. She let her eyes settle on a large looming painting on her left side. It depicted a young man made of gold surrounded by a golden castle scene. His frozen arms were held up like a ballerina as if to hug the air. At his feet fell and older man dressed in fine clothes apparently sobbing in anguish over the scene of metal. She took another sip of her drink and looked over at Matthew and found him with a far off look in his eyes. He too was looking at the painting but it seemed to touch him in a way it did not touch her.

---

Matthew had always been intrigued the story of king Midas. A man who was surrounded by beauty but was punished anytime he tried to touch the lives of the people around him. Matthew himself often felt he ruined anything he touched but instead of gold he just offered fire. He burned away good things if he got to close to them. So few people could get close to him without catching fire but no one could truly touch him. Not even James. If James knew his truths he ran the risk of losing him. His sweet Jamie was the best thing he had in his life and he would never risk losing him.

Matthew breathed deeply. In. And out.

And opened his eyes again. When his vision focused he found a fairie man looking at them from across the room.

No, not them. Her

His golden eyes were fixed on her pointadly. He had dark waist length black hair to match his dark freckles covered skin. He was wearing a black suit with golden trim to match his bright golden eyes. Matthew looked over at Cordelia but she seem singlemindably fixated on staring at the oil painting to their left. Matthew felt a warm possessiveness rise up in his heart. He knew it was nonsensical but watching this man give Cordelia such a hungry look made him bubble up with a strange sort of anger he wasn't used to.

Matthew leaned over and wrapped an arm around Cordelia's shoulders to get the message across that she was not available. Whether the action was in Jamse's name or his one he dared not ask. It seemed to have worked cause the man slipped out of Matthew's sight and into the crowd.

---

Cordelia was startled out of her dazed state by Matthew curling his arm around her shoulders and pulling her toward him. She looked up at him in alarm.

"Matthew is everything alright?". He was looking forward narrow eyed but Cordelia saw nothing there when she looked.

As soon as the look had appeared on his face it passed, like clouds in the sky the sun was out again and he was babbling light heartedly.

"Yeah everything is dandy I was just wondering if you'd want to hear a poem I was working on." He gracefully lifted his arm from her shoulder and started waving his hands around wildly as if he had intended this from the start.

"Yes but didn't you tell me you're rubish at writing?" Cordelia deposited her empty glass on the floor beside her and sat back.

"Yes but that never stops me from trying; maybe this time will be the one!" He jumped up and on to the foot stole infront of her looking down devilishly.

"My sweet maiden left me dry

She torn my savings which made me cry

She took the child and left a log

But worst of all she took the dog" Matthew smiled confidently as if his verses were likely to win him a writing award.

Cordelia burst out laughing, "good god! You are awful". In her fit of giggles she tipped over sideways landing on the cushion beside her. She kicked her booted feet up and onto the arm of the ornate couch. She knew if her mother could see her now she'd probably drop dead on the sight.

Matthew leaned over and laughed down at her. Cordelia couldn't stop laughing back in his face, he looked so funny upside down, like his eyebrows made a tiny mustache for his tiny face. Cordelia reached up and covered his mouth with her hand to complete the illusion and fell into another fit of giggles. She drew her hand back and sat up dazedly.

Matthew knelt down beside her one hand on her lower back steadying her as she sat up. He cheerful but slightly concered looked concerned.

"Cordelia how are you feel-" but Matthew was cut off by a loud round of applause coming from the stage in the middle of the room. The flutist from earlier took to the stage along with kellington and a woman with a cello. Upon further inspection the cello seemed to be made of an ivory material with a bone neck. It was beautiful in a sickly sweet way, much like the player. Her hair was a waterfall of pale cobwebs adorned with small red spiders. The sight made Matthew's stomach churn.

As Kellington raised his violin to his chin he let his eyes grazed over the crowd.

"Tonight we have a special musical act. The talented miss Nightwae and Miliana are joining me in playing some dancing music." People began to desert their drinks behind and search for dancing partners at the catalyst of his words.

"They raised their bows as the dark lipped woman brought the flute to her lips. The music swelled up in a haunting melody. Not one native to a ballroom but perhaps a far away land or fairytale.

Cordelia stood up quickly wishing to get a closer look and found her vision quickly being eaten over by black ink. She reached out as Matthew caught her around the waist steadinging her. She wasn't surprised by her slight faintness she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and had had a hard day of training.

She had been planning on teaching James to make stuffed grape leaves for dinner. He had expressed great interest in learning how to help her prepare meals and-

"Let's dance", Cordelia caught at Matthew's shoulders and pulled him towards the main room. Taken be surprise Matthew stumbled at first but regained his footing and soon found himself swept up in a sea of fine fabrics and finer guests all swaying dangerously to a far away melody.

Matthew took Cordelia's hand in his own and lightly placed his hand on her hip careful not to cross any boundaries he couldn't later take back. They twirled with the crowd. Matthew was an excellent dancer and led her expertly. He bent his head in to talk to her in a low ammused voice.

"You know for such a beautiful solo dancer you sure are poor at couples dances."

Cordelia looked up at him challengingly, "you know for such a charming boy you sure do insult ladies alot." Her words were harsh but the curl of her lips and the glint in her eyes conveyed the true joking matter of her phrase.

The song paused and changed quickly to a more dissonant and deep melody. Matthew twirled Cordelia and the room swam around her she lost her footing and ended up righting herself using his arms to keep her up. She looked up to thank him and was shocked still to find James smiling back down at her. He slid his hands down to her waist and began to away them further towards the center stage.

"James? What are you doing here?"

James leaned in closer, his lips brushing the edge of her ear as he spoke. "Is that what you see? Fascinating".

He spun her sideways a couple feet and joined her moving deftly across the dance floor, further and further from her original spot. As they floated deeper into the fray she felt the hot air settle around her, making her hair frizz on the nape of her neck with sweat.

"What are you talking about? James, what is happening?" Cordelia felt some sort of sense trying to leak into her brain but found herself unable to grasp at it, like fog blocking out the sun.

"You are an incredibly alluring girl. From the moment you walked in I've had my eye on you. I was right". He moved with her again, further.

"Right about what?" She asked breathless and confused.

His golden eyes danced like the embers of a bonfire.

"You're trapped. You love and cannot love. You live a lie fabricated around this face."

He stopped dancing and reached down gripping her face. His fingers dug into her cheek and he pressed down so hard she could taste sparks of metal.

"Tragic. Such a beautiful face wasted away on unrequited love." He let his hand fall again and his arms came possesivly snaking around her waist. "No wonder the lucky guy is so beautiful, pretty faces were never known to show much mercy huh?"

With that Cordelia fell. Fell into the warm darkness surrounding her. It was like falling backwards into the ocean on a warm day. The coldness took her over and the last thing she saw was the glint of golden eyes.

---

Matthew was now frantically pushed and weaving his way through the dance floor after Cordelia and the golden eyed man. It was him, the dark haired man from earlier.

He had finally caught up to them just in time to see Cordelia fall backwards into the man's tight grip. Her head lulled backwards her eyes shut and lips slightly parted. Matthew cried out, forgetting himself and the setting he was in.

As he rushed towards them the man opened his arms in a grand sweeping gesture and let her fall. Matthew reached out and caught her, sinking to the floor to cushion her fall.

"What did you you?!" Matthew was furious but holding a knife to this man's throat would hardly accomplish anything but getting Matthew kicked out.

The air stilled around them and the room seemed to slow like bodies running through water.

"I didn't do anything she didn't secretly want. She saw what she desired". The man gazed down at them with his chin raised.

"Who do you see fair one?" With those words the man's skin seems to ripple and shudder away revealing a tall pale blonde boy staring down at Matthew.

It was him. When he was 13. Wide eyed and childlike, carrying a small bottle of poison in his pocket.

Matthew was at a loss for words. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute even though it seemed whatever enchantment was at work was pausing the sway of bodies around them.

"Interesting, you and her both long for such heart aching things. What a pair", and with that the man stepped back into the crowd as it swelled back to normal time and swalled him whole. He loooked around frantically but he was no where to be seen

Notes: I was going to make this chapter longer but my notes app I'm writing in has a word count limit 😂. This is very fun to write I hope you guys are having fun reading it. Sorry I was a little late to getting this out. Have a wonderful whenever you're reading this :-).

[mulanxiaojie]

The high-profile remake, with an all-Asian cast, a PG-13 rating and a politically-charged star, was always going to pose major risks. Then the coronavirus upended its entire release plan.

Liu Yifei, star of Disney's live-action remake of Mulan, lives in Beijing, but she is originally from Wuhan, epicenter of the coronavirus. In January, the 32-year-old actress left China for Los Angeles to begin press for the film, weeks before the virus' outbreak, which has now infected more than 77,000 people, killed more than 2,500 and wreaked havoc in her home country. She says she doesn't have any family or close friends personally affected by the disease — she left Wuhan when she was 10 — but the epidemic has added an impossible-to-foresee variable to her film's March 27 worldwide release.

Liu pauses when asked about the outbreak. "It's really heavy for me to even think about it," she says. "People are doing the right thing. They are being careful for themselves and others. I'm so touched actually to see how they haven't been out for weeks. I'm really hoping for a miracle and that this will just be over soon."

In China, Liu is a household name, nicknamed "Fairy Sister" for her elegance and beauty. Modeling since age 8, she broke out in the 2003 Chinese TV series Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, a commercial hit in China and the highest-rated Chinese drama in Taiwan at the time, and hasn't stopped working in film and TV since, earning fashion partnerships with Adidas, Shiseido and Armani along the way.

Disney and director Niki Caro selected Liu from more than 1,000 aspirants from around the world to star as Hua Mulan, the Chinese heroine who disguises herself as a man to fight in the Imperial Army in a film carefully designed to appeal to Western and Chinese audiences alike. But now there's a question of when Mulan will be released in China. With the coronavirus shutting down all 70,000 of the country's theaters since Jan. 24, it's unclear — and more unlikely every day — that multiplexes will reopen in time for its planned release. (Several high-profile U.S. films, including Universal's Dolittle and 1917 and Searchlight's Jojo Rabbit, saw their February releases scrapped.) "It certainly has worldwide and global appeal, but there's no denying that this is a very important film for the Chinese market," says Comscore analyst Paul Dergarabedian. "It's a huge blow for Disney if it doesn't release in China." Disney president of production Sean Bailey says he's "looking at it day by day."

Of course, this puts added pressure on the $200 million budgeted film — the priciest of Disney's recent live-action remakes — to perform in the U.S. and the rest of the world. Liu, who is enveloped in her own storm of controversy based on a political social media post about the Hong Kong protests, says she is trying hard not to think about all that. "It would really be a loss for me if I let the pressure overtake my possibilities," says the actress, who learned English when she lived in New York as a child for four years with her mother, a dancer, after her parents' divorce.

Even before the outbreak of the virus, Mulan — the first Disney-branded film with an all-Asian cast and the first to be rated PG-13 (for battle scenes) — would have marked one of the studio's riskiest live-action films to date. While the original 1998 Mulan was a critical and commercial hit, garnering a Golden Globe and Oscar nomination and grossing more than $300 million worldwide ($475 million today), it faltered at the Chinese box office. Part of the reason is that the Chinese government stalled its premiere for nearly a year because of lingering anger over Disney's 1997 release of Kundun, Martin Scorsese's Dalai Lama movie that dealt with China's occupation of Tibet. By the time Mulan reached theaters in late February 1999, most children had returned to school after the Chinese New Year holiday and pirated copies were widely available. For the new film, the plan was to counter piracy by releasing the movie in China the same day as the rest of the world, a strategy that's no longer possible.

The film also has tested the ability and tolerance of Disney — which aims to be ideologically neutral — in managing global political fallout. In August, Liu stirred up a major controversy when she reposted a pro-police comment on Chinese platform Weibo (where she has more than 66 million followers) at the height of the violence in Hong Kong. Her action was seen by critics of the Chinese government as supporting police brutality; soon after, the hashtag #BoycottMulan started trending on Twitter. Liu, who has American co-citizenship from her time in the U.S., was harshly criticized around the world for supporting oppression.

"I think it's obviously a very complicated situation and I'm not an expert," she says now, cautious in the extreme. "I just really hope this gets resolved soon." When pressed, Liu, whose answer seemed rehearsed, declines to say much more, simply repeating, "I think it's just a very sensitive situation." (Bailey also deflects when asked: "Yifei's politics are her own, and we are just focused on the movie and her performance.")

"Most Chinese celebrities choose to avoid posting such political statements because of the risks to their careers internationally," says Dorothy Lau, a professor at the Academy of Film, Hong Kong Baptist University. But though Liu's post drew criticism globally, some experts believe the political drama could actually result in more support for the film in China. "At the time, the government came out in various publications supporting the film very strongly," says USC professor Stanley Rosen, who specializes in Chinese politics and society. "There's a real impetus on the part of the Chinese government to make this work. I'm sure the government is going to try to show that the boycott has had no effect." And while her comment might still anger filmgoers in Hong Kong, where the recent live-action Aladdin took in $8 million, that market is tiny compared to the mainland (total 2019 Hong Kong box office was $245 million compared with China's $9.2 billion). "Most people outside Hong Kong have likely forgotten about this controversy," says Rosen. "But the Chinese government does not forget these things."

The fact that this version of Mulan is a large-scale war epic inspired more by the ancient Chinese ballad than the original animated film may also help win fans in Beijing, but the choice carries its own significant risks: The film needs to satisfy Chinese audiences raised on the legend while not disappointing a generation of fans in Asia (and elsewhere) for whom the animated film is foundational. "People would come in to audition and would say, 'Sorry, I know this is really unprofessional, but before I start, I just want you to know, the animated movie was the first time I saw someone that looked like me speak English in a movie theater,' " says producer Jason Reed. "The stakes couldn't be higher."

Mulan also represents a leap of faith in the film's director, Caro, whose previous two films boasted budgets of about 10 percent of Mulan's (The Zookeeper's Wife and Disney's 2015 sports drama McFarland USA were each in the $20 million to $25 million range). Caro, 53, was not Disney's first choice. Before hiring the New Zealand filmmaker, the studio targeted directors of Asian descent, including Taiwanese Oscar winner Ang Lee (he was busy promoting Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk) and Chinese helmer Jiang Wen. Still, Caro showcased a knack for representing cultures outside of her own with her 2002 debut Whale Rider, which follows a young Maori girl who wants to become chief, a role traditionally reserved for men.

The feminist story of Mulan resonated deeply with Caro. "When I first started wanting to be a filmmaker, there was so little precedent for women doing this [big studio] work," she says. She has now directed the most expensive live-action film by a woman, joining only a handful (Kathryn Bigelow, Ava DuVernay and Patty Jenkins) who have helmed films costing more than $100 million. "Patty changed the game with Wonder Woman. It was like a shot of adrenaline for me as a filmmaker," says Caro, who assembled a mostly female-led crew, including cinematographer Mandy Walker, costume designer Bina Daigeler, makeup designer Denise Kum and first assistant director Liz Tan.

To those still upset that an Asian filmmaker didn't get the job, Caro responds: "Although it's a critically important Chinese story and it's set in Chinese culture and history, there is another culture at play here, which is the culture of Disney, and that the director, whoever they were, needed to be able to handle both — and here I am."

Soon after Caro's hiring, rumors about the movie began to swirl online. Years of studios centering Asian movies around white protagonists (from Scarlett Johansson's Ghost in the Shell to Matt Damon's The Great Wall) meant the threat of whitewashing loomed large. An early report online claimed that the first draft, penned by Elizabeth Martin and Lauren Hynek, featured a white male protagonist.

"This is the first time I've been on a big touchstone movie with the internet what it is today. And I had a Google alert set, so I'd see these things, 'Oh, there was originally a white male lead, or they're casting Jennifer Lawrence,' and they were all just made up," says Reed, who adds that there may have been two non-Chinese characters in the initial script, but both were secondary roles.

The rumors may have been unfounded, but the fallout was real: The Lawrence-as-Mulan story sparked a 2016 petition, "Tell Disney You Don't Want a Whitewashed Mulan!" drawing more than 110,000 signatures.

Ironically, as that rumor swirled, Caro struggled to find an actress to play Mulan. The global hunt began in October 2016, when Caro sent a team of casting directors to each continent and virtually every small village in China. They were looking for an actress who could play Mulan across three phases, from a young woman unsure of her place to a soldier masquerading as a man and, finally, as an empowered warrior. She had to be fluent in English, handle the physical demands of martial arts and deliver the more emotional moments with Mulan's family. "She's a needle in a haystack, but we were going to find her," says Caro. "It's impossible to make this movie without this person."

Though the studio cast a wide multinational net, Bill Kong — a veteran Chinese producer known for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Monster Hunt who was brought on as a producer on Mulan — advised Caro that in order for this film to play well in China, not just anyone of Asian descent would work. "The first thing I told her was, 'Hire a Chinese girl. You can't hire a Japanese girl to do this,' " he says.

Actresses who made it past that initial audition were brought to Los Angeles, but, after vetting several promising candidates for months, Caro decided to start over. (The search dragged on for so long that Disney delayed the original November 2018 release date.) Eventually, Liu, who had been unavailable during the first pass because of a TV show in China, was able to audition.

"I was determined that whoever played Mulan was not going to be fragile and feminine," says Caro. "She had to pass as a man in a man's army." So the director and a trainer put Liu through a 90-minute physical assessment, with extreme cardio and weight exercises. Other actresses fared less well. "Boy, did they flame out," says Caro with a laugh. But Liu "never complained once, never said, 'I can't.' She went to her limits."

With Liu, Disney also found an actress who could speak English, was familiar with martial arts from her TV work in China and, most importantly, was known to the Chinese market.

While Liu spent three months training for the role in New Zealand, Caro finished up her own extensive research. She took multiple trips to China and spoke to dozens of experts — including the world's foremost specialist on Tang dynasty military strategy. She also studied the 360-word Chinese poem The Ballad of Mulan, which first told the young heroine's story. The legend, which originated in the fifth or sixth century CE, is a tale as familiar in China as the story of Joan of Arc or Paul Bunyan in the West, and it's been adapted many times into plays, operas and films.

"I certainly wasn't aware of how deeply important it is to Mainland Chinese — all children are taught it," says Caro. "She is so meaningful that many places I went, people would say, 'Well, she comes from my village.' It was wonderful to feel that profound connection — but also terrifying."

As soon as the first trailers rolled out, so did the grumblings about factual inaccuracy, like the choice to situate Mulan's family in a tulou, a traditional round structure that housed several clans. These homes were mostly present in southern China, in what is now Fujian province (Mulan is said to be from the north), and would not have existed at the time she lived.

"I told [Caro] to not be too concerned about the historical accuracy," says Kong. "Mulan, though very famous, is fictional. She's not a historical person."

Disney tested the film thoroughly with Chinese audiences, including its own local executives. In an early version, Mulan kissed love interest Chen Honghui (Yoson An) on a bridge when they were about to part. "It was very beautiful, but the China office went, 'No, you can't, that doesn't feel right to the Chinese people,' " says Caro. "So we took it out."

Caro and the writers, Amanda Silver and Rick Jaffa (the husband-and-wife team behind Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Jurassic World who rewrote the original script), also had to consider the passionate fans of the 1998 film. Most Disney remakes, like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and The Lion King, have remained loyal to the tone and structure of the animated source material while adding a new song or character. Departing from that formula wasn't a swift decision. "We had a lot of conversations about it," says Reed. Ultimately they wanted "to tell this story in a way that is more real, more relatable, where we don't have the benefit of the joke to hide behind things that might be uncomfortable and we don't break into song to tell us the subtext."

They swapped the musical numbers and funny animal sidekicks for a large-scale war epic in which Mulan takes her father's place in the Imperial Army. "It's a woman's story that has been told for centuries but never by women, and we felt like it was really time to tell that story," says Silver. The question is whether Generation Z and millennials, who fell in love with these animated tales as kids and helped boost Aladdin to its $1 billion global haul, will embrace the direction. "To be honest, we really go by our gut and what creatively excites the team here," says Bailey. "I think it shows that there can be different approaches to these [movies] that have validity."

When word leaked that Mushu, the silly dragon sidekick (originally voiced by Eddie Murphy), would not be included, some fans expressed disappointment on social media. But the character's disappearance makes sense in the Chinese context. "Mushu was very popular in the U.S., but the Chinese hated it," says Rosen. "This kind of miniature dragon trivialized their culture."

Unlike its Marvel-branded films, Disney live-action movies must appeal to significantly younger audiences. Yet Caro wanted to make a real war movie. "You have to deliver on the war of it," she says, "and how do you do that under the Disney brand where you can't show any violence, gratuitous or otherwise?" She took advantage of the film's stunning locations, like setting a battle sequence in a geothermal valley, where steam could mask the fighting. "Those sequences, I'm proud of them. They're really beautiful and epic — but you can still take kids. No blood is shed. It's not Game of Thrones."

Disney's past live-action performance in China is a mixed bag. Both The Lion King ($120.5 million there) and Jungle Book ($148 million) enjoyed strong showings. Aladdin earned only $53 million, while 2017's Beauty and the Beast took in just $84 million (though it earned $1.3 billion worldwide).

Of course, the expectations for Mulan in China are much higher. "They will eventually release it in China," Dergarabedian notes. "It's just a matter of when and what effect that might have." Some analysts forecast that the film could match the success of the Kung Fu Panda series. The third movie, released in 2016, earned north of $144.2 million and became the country's biggest animated film ever. It was praised for being a Hollywood film that understood and showed respect toward the Chinese culture. Panda, however, had the advantage of being a Chinese co-production, which guarantees a larger share of the market — an advantage Mulan doesn't have.

Caro thinks about the film's fate there in more than simply financial terms. "Of course it's vitally important that it succeeds in China," she says, "because it belongs to China."

[ourlastbastion]

Etherian Mall Ch. 4

The One Where Double Trouble + The Super Pal Trio Chat

AO3 

FF.Net

The group was seated at the food court, trays and cups from the various different shops littering the table. Double Trouble’s tail moved from side to side every few moments, a smile that promised nothing good planted on their lips as they drank from a large soda cup. Across from them was Entrapta, tearing apart an old Nokia flip phone, wires and bits all over her empty food tray. Beside her, Scorpia was animatedly talking about a recent trip, pinchers waving about, smiling so wide it was a wonder her face didn’t fall off, and beside Double Trouble was Catra, leaning against the table with a lazy smile and resting her cheek on her hand as she listened to Scorpia.

“It was amazing!” Scorpia exclaimed, throwing her arms up into the air, eyes sparkling. “Then the bird just started tugging at my mom’s hair, and the two of us couldn’t help but laugh as she tried to get it to stop. The zookeeper had to come over and help because the hawk didn’t want to leave.”

Catra chuckled, taking a sip of her cola, tail swishing back and forth in a lazy manner as she listened. “Sounds about right for your bunch,” she commented and gave a toothy grin. “I’m glad you and your moms had fun on the trip. It’s nice that you still spend time with them.”

“Of course I’d still spend time with them, they’re family. Just because I’m all grown up and out of the house doesn’t mean I have to forget about them,” Scorpia seemed rather proud as she said that, pinchers on her hips and chest puffed out. Family was important to her, just as important as her friendships were, it’s just another thing about her that made Scorpia so amazing.

Today was one of those weird days for the group, where their schedules just barely aligned. Catra and Entrapta were on break at the moment, while Scorpia had just finished her shift and Double Trouble, well, as far as the group knew, they were here early for either a shift they picked up for someone at one of the stores, or here to watch and cause trouble. It was always a gamble for which it would be.

But, they had a brief period of time to actually meet up and talk before returning to their respective areas of work, it was something they enjoyed, just eating and chatting together without the stress of needy customers or overbearing bosses hanging around them like a noose. Especially with catching back up with Scorpia after she’d been gone a week on that family trip of hers to a zoo out of state.

Abruptly, Entrapta shoved her Nokia phone, or rather all the pieces of it, into a small baggie that in turn was put inside of her larger bag. “I should be returning to the Fright Zone about now,” she declared after looking at the clock. “Break is almost over, and there’s plenty of work to do.”

“Ah, about that, how’s everything been since your sudden promotion?” Double Trouble asked with a coy smile.

Entrapta didn’t smile though, she had a thoughtful expression like she was trying to solve some sort of puzzle that was missing a few pieces. “It’s been strange, if I’m being honest. There’s a lot more work, and Hordak is trusting me with more managemental tasks, which is good. I'm getting more opportunities to learn a field I never considered before, and I have the chance to study social interactions during business meetings,” she listed, leaning on her hair like it was a counter for her.

“But?” Catra arched an eyebrow. Despite how good everything sounded, the way Entrapta said it made it seem that there was more to it.

“He’s been strange ever since he offered me the position,” she admitted. “I thought he would be happy that I agreed, but he seemed disappointed, and I can’t fathom why he'd be visibly bothered by my acceptance. My observations have also shown that he’s also been rather tense lately, and trying to limit his contact with me, particularly when it’s just the two of us. I’m worried that I may have overstepped some boundaries that I didn’t notice.”

Scorpia offered a comforting smile, reaching out to pat her hair, “I’m sure you did nothing wrong. He’s probably on edge because of Prime. You know how he gets when the big boss is involved.”

“Just give it some time and I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual stick-up-the-ass self in no time,” Catra added with a laugh.

“You’re right,” Entrapta nodded, slinging her bag over a shoulder and fishing out her recorder from one of the pockets. “Patience is key here, but if he’s upset over something Prime did, perhaps I can make him some tea to help him feel better, I hear it’s supposed to help calm people down.” She was already walking away, talking into her recorder and her voice growing distant as she made her way back to the Fright Zone’s tech store.

The group just watched her go with grins and heads shaking.

Double Trouble was the first to speak up after she left. “I feel sorry for Hordak, all his attempts and she never seems to notice.”

Shaking her heat, Catra finished off the last of her soda. “Entrapta’s smart, but she can be clueless at times. Knowing her, however, she probably never realizes he’s asking her out because she thinks they’re already a thing,” she offered and then shrugged, “Or maybe she really is that clueless when it comes to romance. Either way, my money is that they’ll become official within the year.”

“Oh, Kitten,” there was a glint is Double Troubles eyes as they spoke. “You should know better. I’ll happily take you up on that bet, knowing those two it’ll take them longer than a year if no one intervenes. Does twenty dollars sound fair?”

It was hardly a question needing an answer, the competitive spark had been lit, and Catra’s grin turned challenging, “You’re on.”

Scorpia just looked between the lizard and cat, blinking as she tried to figure out what was even going on. “Wait… Hordak has a crush on Entrapta?” she asked, eyes lighting up like it was the cutest thing she had ever heard. "Oh gosh, that's adorable, they'd make a really good couple!"

The tension was gone, replaced by sighs. Shaking her head, Catra patted Scorpia on the arm, “Oh, Scorpia, you take the trophy for most oblivious woman in the mall,” she sympathized. “Don’t worry about it too much, okay?”

“That reminds me, how have things been with you and that darling Lonnie?” Double Trouble asked, changing the topic of love from Entrapta onto Scorpia.

Instantly, the large woman’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, she waved her pinchers about in defense and shook her head. “There’s nothing going on, really,” she said and gave a sheepish laugh, “I just think that she’s really cool, and she always seems interested in listening to me and sparring with me. It’s not like we’re dating or anything, we’re just friends.” From her side of the table, Catra turned to Double Trouble mouthed ‘Oblivious’ to them.

Chuckling they stretched their arms high above their head, “Well, I will say that seeing as you finally got over your crush on Kitten here, I can say that you’ve finally developed good taste in women.”

“Hey!” Catra kicked them from under the table. “Excuse you, I am a snack!”

“Is that so? Well, I suppose some people like salty treats and bitter treats,” Double Trouble mused, earning another kick from Catra.

[sarcasticmesswriting]

WinterHawk Week Day 5 - Arranged Marriage

Historical Au with some typical period and arranged marriage consent issues, though it has a beautiful Happy Ending.

It is nearly 4K so make sure you have the time :D (You can still find all 7 stories collectively at Ao3 here.

Clint never viewed his life as either lucky or unlucky. There were only circumstances and whatever work he had done to better his life. 

Circumstances that determined Clint was born into the family to an easily addicted father who loved gambling, women and his drink. A father who beat his sons and still managed to get one on his side to share games of dice, women or a drink.

Clint never liked the idea of his life being all written out as some declaration read to the commoners in the market square. He was more than just the son of a man who had fallen from glory gained in war. 

Starting as an errand boy Clint quickly became the most reliable in the city. He was fast and nimble enough to go routes no one else could and none of his wares ever went missing. Years he worked and built a reputation, getting a job going in and out of the castle, getting paid better and finding friends in the people in the castle, noble and commoner. 

Harold and Barney tried to rope Clint into their dealing, tried to get him to give them money, but Clint barely had enough to sustain himself. And he really didn’t want to support their habits. 

Years of having a pretty decent life with ups and downs, but he still didn’t expect to be called in front of the Kings of their country. 

Anxiety churned in his gut as two guards he had just talked to this morning opened the door to the throne room. They looked serious and maybe even pitying. 

The room had never been this long or his stride had never been this short.

King Steve and King Tony sat in their equally large thrones with grave expressions, advisers in a group to the right, the captain of the guard with a couple high ranking officers on the left. They didn’t have their weapons out. Yet. 

Clint knelt down, head hung low and said loud and clear, “Your Majesties.”

“Please, Clint, there is no need to kneel,” Steve said kindly and Clint quickly got up, putting his hands behind his back for lack of a better spot. 

“Now we called you here to talk about your family’s debt to the crown.” Tony lounged precariously on his throne and Steve sent him the usual reproaching look Tony ignored. 

“I see,” Clint said slowly, even though he didn’t. He didn’t have anything to do with that debt. Unofficially he had already washed his hands off it, but officially he was still part of the Barton family. His only reason for not doing that yet was that he didn’t want to lose his mother’s surname. 

“Steve and I have talked at length on how to approach this and we have decided to release you of the whole debt.” 

“In exchange for your hand in marriage.” 

“My hand in-” Clint blinked at them in incomprehension. “I don’t understand. Barney and my father are the ones you should talk about the debt to. Your Majesties,” he added quickly, lowering his gaze. 

“Has no one told you?” Rhodey stepped forward, his Captain’s insignia on his chest shining in the light from the windows. 

“Told me what?”

“Clint, there was a brawl in The Sun three days ago,” Rhodey said, coming closer, hands away from his sword, but Clint still kept his posture unthreatening. It didn’t matter that they were friends outside of this hall. “Your father and Barney were involved and suffered severe injuries. They died that night.”

“They’re both…?” Clint couldn’t feel his fingers, couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of being the last one left of his family. 

“Yes. I’m so sorry, Clint.” Rhodey looked like he genuinely meant it, but Clint wasn’t upset? Or at least he didn’t think so. Maybe it would need some time to sink in, but now he was in front of the crown, talking about money he had to pay back. Money he absolutely and without a doubt did not have. 

“If I may ask, who will I marry?” He didn’t want to leave the city. All his friends were here. Marrying the person chosen by the crown would free him of the debt, but maybe shackle him to someone cruel and unkind. Even so, did it even matter? The crown wanted him to marry someone. He couldn’t refuse. And no matter who it was Clint would be fine. Clint was tenacious and had survived the beatings of his father, the cold starving touch of winter more than once. 

“Bucky Barnes.” 

The Winter Soldier. Clint’s stomach bottomed out.

~~

“You’re definitely going to die,” Natasha commented, hands busy braiding Pepper’s red hair. 

“He is not going to die,” Pepper said with an eye roll, though she very purposefully didn’t move her head. 

“I don’t know, man. I have never seen that guy smile or sad.” Sam’s knife impaled the wooden target with a dull thud, a good foot away from where Clint’s was embedded. “He is the crown’s most successful assassin. I do not want to be in your shoes right now.” 

“Great,” Clint muttered, throwing his second knife with all his strength, making the whole target shake. “I’m going to die.”

~~

It had only been a couple of days since Clint had been pushed into marrying someone, but here he was, being dressed in clothes that surely cost just as much as the debt he had been released from, for a wedding to a man Clint had never really spoken to. 

Barnes had always been around the castle when Clint had come to it to run errands. When Clint hadn’t known who the man was, Clint had tried to talk to him, tried to strike up a conversation and make a friend and maybe help the handsome, slightly lost looking man. 

Barnes had glared at him, grunted and left. All the following instances they were in the vicinity of each other Barnes had glared at him, often stared at Clint while Clint talked to someone else. 

Once Clint saw him covered in blood that wasn’t his own, seconds after killing a man making an attempt on the Kings’ lives. 

Rumors called him a rapist and a killer of children, called him the moon to Steve’s sun. 

Clint was to be his husband, his property and whatever else Barnes wanted him to be. Barnes didn’t even need to tell the Kings that Clint wasn’t cooperating, he could just kill Clint himself without a problem. 

“You look very handsome,” Pepper pulled him out of his thoughts. Her smile was calm and encouraging. 

He didn’t understand how she could believe this was not going to end in bloodshed. 

“Thank you.” Swallowing he straightened his jacket and turned to look over his room for one last time.

It was nothing special. A tiny room above the blacksmith with a bed and a small cabinet for the few clothes he owned. He would never see it again. Instead, he would go to live in whatever rooms Barnes inhabited in the castle. 

He offered Pepper his arm and she took it with another smile. 

“It’s going to be fine. Maybe you will even come to like him.” 

He sincerely doubted that.

The ceremony was held in the chapel, overseen by both Kings and advisers and all of Clint’s commoner friends. All the seats were filled and flowers decorated every inch. Barnes was dressed in black like always and Clint refused to let his head hung low as Clint stepped up next to him. 

The words of the minister washed over Clint like white noise and he only snapped out of the daze he hadn’t even noticed he had entered into when it was time for Clint and Barnes to move into the throne hall for the feast. 

There was no kiss to seal the marriage, there was no happy exchange of rings, there was no dance or stolen touches. It was just everyone happily eating incredible food, laughing and getting drunk, while Barnes and Clint sat at the table of honor next to the Kings in silence. 

Clint only managed to swallow two bites, before his stomach rebelled and he stuck to picking at the food on his plate. Barnes didn’t seem to have the same problem and Clint kind of resented him even more for it.

After Tony was well into his cups, he winked at Clint and Barnes - his husband - and got them to leave the party. The catcalls from the other guests were quickly silenced by a single look from Barnes and cold anxiety rolled down Clint’s back as he followed Barned out of the room and down hallways and up stairs. 

The door they stopped at was simple wood with metal reinforcement and Barnes opened the door with a key before nodding for Clint to go in first. 

The room was so much bigger than Clint’s, more expensive, which wasn’t a surprise, but it was much simpler than other rooms in the castle Clint had snuck a peek into. Clint couldn’t see any personal effects and beside a small trunk he had put his stuff in prior to the wedding, there wasn’t much else. 

Clint blinked as Barnes basically pushed the key in his face. When he took it Barnes turned and started to make his way out of the room. 

“Wait,” Clint said confused. He shouldn’t put thoughts in Barnes’ head, but he rather got this over with as soon as possible. “We’re not going to consummate the marriage?” 

Barnes paused in the doorway and only turned his head after a good five seconds, eyes scrutinizing Clint from top to bottom. “No,” he simply said, voice rough, before he left the room and closed the door behind him. 

Not sure what else to do and not understanding Barnes at all Clint started to explore. There were no paintings or pictures, no jewelry or other trinkets, nothing that indicated Barnes had a personality. Not even any clothes of his own. 

It was very strange. 

Clint passed the night fitfully. Every noise was unfamiliar, every creak was the potential sound of Barnes returning. 

When the sky started to lighten and the sky peeked over the horizon, Clint got up from the too soft bed and got dressed in his own clothes, the commoner clothes that made it easier to move around in and blend in. 

For a while, it was like the wedding had never happened. Clint went about his deliveries, helped anyone who needed it and continued to steal food from Natasha in the kitchens. The only thing that really changed was the room he returned to every night. He didn’t see Barnes either around the castle or at night in the room, but he wasn’t sure if it was because Barnes was trying to lure Clint into false security or if he really wasn’t interested. 

And then, just as he was leaving the kitchen with threats being shouted after him, he crossed paths with Rhodey who smiled at him.

“Ah, I’ve been looking for you. Would you like to join us for practice, Clint?”

It took only a second to make sure everything he needed to do today could be postponed. “Sure.” He loved watching the knights train, though he could never do it for very long or very frequently. 

Everyone else was already on the field and warming up. Which didn’t really make sense. If they didn’t need someone to carry their weapons or targets or whatever else they needed, why did Rhodey tell Clint to come with?

Barnes noticed Clint first and if possible, he looked even more furious than usual. At the moment he grabbed Steve and dragged him a couple of steps away, Steve didn't look like the King he was. They were too far to hear clearly as Barnes started to hiss at Steve, but they stood in a way that made it possible for Clint to read their lips. 

“This was your fucking idea. Don’t lie.” 

“Come on, Buck. This is a good thing.”

“It’s fucking torture and you fucking know it.” Barnes let go of Steve, looked over at Clint and their eyes met in the same moment Sam’s arm was slung across Clint’s shoulder and pulled him in a hug. 

“I’m going to have so much fun beating you at something.” 

“Never,” Clint answered, looking up at Sam. 

“Your husband is glaring at me in jealousy,” Sam whispered into Clint’s ear. “You must have won him over with your sexual prowess.” 

Clint pulled a face in a mix of disgust and embarrassment. “I hate you.” 

“Aww, don’t lie. You love me.” Sam grinned at him and attempted to kiss him jokingly, but Clint stopped him with an elbow to the side. 

Someone cleared their throat next to them and Clint glanced over to see that Barnes had approached them. He was looking even more murderous than a second ago. 

“Steve wants to spar with you, Sam.” 

“Sure, sure. Let me have the bruises while you two cosy up. I understand.” With a wink, Sam went over to Steve leaving Clint and Barnes in awkward silence. 

Or at least Clint felt awkward. Who could tell from Barnes’ blank expression, though he did avoid eye contact. 

“It’s fine.”

Clint frowned at Barnes. “What?”

“We’re married because of Steve. Sam’s fine.” Barnes glanced at Clint and quickly looked away when he saw that Clint was already looking at him. A knife appeared in his hand he started to fiddle with. “I wouldn’t consider it cheating if you two get involved.” 

“I,” Clint stopped, blinking in confusion, not sure if he had heard correctly. “What?”

Barnes exhaled sharply, frowning down at the ground. “You were forced into this. You should be with someone you want to be with. That’s all.” He turned away and walked over to Rhodey who immediately pulled him into a sparring match, leaving Clint to stare after him. 

As stilted as that had been it had seemed like concern for Clint’s happiness? 

Clint was distracted by watching Barnes during the rest of the training. All the other knights seemed to chalk his failure up to being a novice at sword fighting and Clint for once didn’t bother to correct them or boast about his ability to pick skills up quickly. 

Observing Barnes was puzzling. All the little details Clint had never seen before didn’t really fit with the image of the ruthless, murderous killer Clint had built Barnes up as in his head. 

Yes, he was the most skilled fighter among the knights and there was no hesitation in his movements with a sword or knives, but when they stood around and talked about the next exercise or the topic of conversation turned to something else entirely, Barnes tended to stay silent and stare off to the side or even turn a knife over in his hands behind his thigh, half-hidden from everyone else. Clint would say it almost looked nervous. 

A half-assed plan started to form in Clint’s head, but he always worked best with those. 

At the end of the training, everyone was sweaty and grass-stained, but they were still joking around, still happy with their Kings, especially because Steve acted more like a fellow knight than their King. Still, the other knights grabbed weapons to get back to the weapon room or left to do something else, when Clint used the perfect moment of stopping Steve, so no one else noticed. 

“May I ask a question, your Majesty?” 

Steve looked half-amused, half reproachful. “Really, call me Steve outside of official events. And of course, you may. You’re married to my best friend.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about. Ba-Bucky kind of told me the reason why you wanted us to marry. I guess I just wanted to confirm because he… well.”

“Oh, I get it. He’s being shy again, isn’t he?” Steve shook his head with a smile. “You know, every time he looks ready to kill someone he is usually trying not to blush or say the wrong thing. He’s been pining for you for so long, you would think he now has a thousand things to say.” 

“Yeah, right.” Clint barely registered the heavy hand on his shoulder and only absentmindedly watched Steve walk away. 

Barnes had been pining? For Clint? And he had been insecure this whole time and not angry at all? At least if Steve was to be believed and Steve was the most honest person in the whole kingdom. 

All Clint’s friends knew that his self-preservation instincts only went so far, but even he wasn’t stupid enough to confront Barnes with only Steve’s word as assurance, so he did something else. 

Clint started to follow Barnes around. 

It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, but as Clint always pretended to talk to someone or do things when Barnes looked at him, so he probably hadn’t been discovered yet. 

For a couple of days, nothing interesting or very revealing happened and Clint was close to giving up. Or at least he was because he never managed to stick close after dinner. Either Barnes vanished alone while others were eating or Clint had to take a different hallway all together as to not arouse suspicions, but tonight Barnes seemed to be deep in thought and Clint was able to follow him while using shadows. 

Whatever Clint expected to walk into, and he wasn’t really expecting anything, it wasn’t for Barnes to walk into the stables and enter the tack room in the back, leaving the door slightly ajar. 

As quietly as Clint could he moved closer until he was able to look into the room. 

At first he only saw saddles, then there was a huge solid trunk shoved into a corner and Clint tried to see more and slowly edged the door open even more, but he didn’t see the raised stone in the floor and his foot promptly caught on it, causing him to fall forward into the room with a yelp. 

Hands caught him just before he busted his knees on the stone floor and trepidation rushed through Clint as his eyes moved over grey stones over blankets to Barnes sitting on said blankets holding Clint up above him. 

For a moment they looked at each other with wide eyes, both surprised for very different reasons until the things with Barnes in the room clicked in Clint’s head and of course immediately left his mouth.

“This is where you’ve been sleeping this whole time!” It was too loud, too blunt. Clint was afraid as soon as he said it, but he forgot all about it when he observed a never before seen blush cover Barnes’ cheeks. 

“My rooms were supposed to be our rooms, but you wanted them.” 

“I never said I wanted them. You just gave me a key and left and never said anything again until you told me I could fuck Sam.” 

Barnes winced, something dark flashing through his eyes. 

“You don’t want me to fuck Sam.” Clint felt like he was solving one of Tony’s puzzles or Bruce’ riddles, his thoughts spilling out without even the pretence of a filter. “You want me to be happy, but you don’t like the idea of me being happy with someone else. You let me move into your own room and start sleeping in the stables. Steve said you’re shy, that you pined for me. I thought he was joking, but.” But now with the evidence right in front of Clint’s eyes, with Barnes beneath him with a red face and not pushing Clint away or even stabbing him like Barnes undoubtedly could, it seemed more and more like the truth. “Do you like me, Bucky?”

Bucky’s hands slipped off Clint’s shoulders and suddenly Clint landed completely on top of Bucky, nose pressing against Bucky’s neck, chest to chest and what was… 

It was Clint’s turn to blush furiously when he realized what was pushing against his belly. 

“I, um, I’m not good with people and emotions,” Bucky said quietly, looking to the side when Clint sat up slightly, legs on each side of Bucky’s. “You. You talked to me when everyone else was too afraid. You always gave more than you took with to with everyone, no matter their status.” He swallowed and Clint felt warmer than he should, happier than he should. “I. Yes, I like you. Of course, I like you.” With a groan, he rubbed his face with his hands. 

Another, potentially terrible, idea made Clint reach out to curl his hands around Bucky’s wrists to pull his hands away, so Clint could lean in to kiss him. Maybe it was a kiss, Clint hadn’t had too many experiences in that department. 

Cute, he thought, observing Bucky’s reaction. At that moment Bucky really didn’t look like the deadliest assassin in the whole country, but more like a fumbling teenager. 

“I honestly haven’t thought about you and me before right now, but I’m definitely thinking about it right now.”

“Y-You are?” The hope in Bucky’s voice and face kind of broke Clint’s heart.

“We’re already married, so we are doing things a bit backwards, but I have never been conventional.” Clint winked at him and watched in awe how the most brilliant smile appeared on Bucky’s face. 

Arms wrapped around Clint’s waist and hugged him so tightly, Clint was barely able to breathe, but he felt strangely safe. If anyone wanted to get to Clint they would have to go through the most feared killer of the kingdom, if not the world. And Clint was the only one who knew the real Bucky Barnes, the one outside of the battlefield, the one who felt too much to express properly, who wanted to spoil the people in his life rotten even though he was always uncertain if it was welcome. Clint was the only one coaxing out all the different expressions and the whispered comments that got Clint to double over in laughter while Steve looked at them in satisfaction and disapproval because it was the middle of a council meeting. 

It was Clint who proposed to Bucky, because he wanted to, after being together forever. 

They had just won what looked like the last battle in an incredibly annoying war and after becoming one of the best knights Clint was right at the front line with Bucky and Steve and Sam at his sides. They were all covered in blood and Bucky looked just like one of the first times Clint had ever seen him, all terrifying and murderous and unapproachable. 

Something crunched under his knee when Clint knelt down in front of Bucky. 

“Holy shit,” Sam exclaimed right next to them, but Clint didn’t look away from Bucky, watched the realization wash over Bucky’s face, the joy lighten up his whole demeanour. 

“Yes,” Bucky answered the unspoken question, hauling Clint back onto his feet to kiss him senseless until Rhodey told them off. 

Clint had never viewed his life as lucky or unlucky, but he was happy and that was really the only thing that counted. 

[uclexhibitionproject2016]

Justin Sunlight at twelve o'clock: From Buffett sitting as a guest, to side control Rashomon, TRON plunged

On June 5th, this shape in the currency group photographed Buffett's lunch time in a sky-high price of 31 zillion yuan, and successfully linked the spot with Trump, Wang Sicong, and Wang Xiaochuan, successfully entering the public eye.

I thought which the cancellation would help make him miss an opportunity to rub very hot areas, but he didn't expect it to make him a fresh wave of traffic. After all, Buffett's lunch has not been cancelled for twenty years. "This influx of procedures is as well slippery, as well as the Oscars are usually awarded to you." After Weibo premiered, some people actually stated: "Maybe Sun senses that eating is not as sensational as not eating, so he simply does not eat." Netizens that quickly occupied the comment area directly called Justin Sunlight and mocked the general public again: "He likes to talk about the hot research again", "Marketing masters, I have done this for myself. Everyone can enter the leeks once again", and "Justice Sunlight has got another from now on." Name: The first man to release Buffett pigeons". In the comment area, few people seem to believe that he really had sudden kidney stones. Even more rumors which are tough to verify are still coming. For example, it has been looked into by the general public security organs. Surprisingly, by 11 pm, Caixin's report confirmed the rumors of ¨border control (restricted exit)〃 and additional stated which the Mutual Financial Remediation Office had recommended that the general public security organs initiate investigations into Sun Yuchen's suspected illegal fund-raising. Sina Finance also mentioned that the reason why the guidance can be involved about Justin Sunlight is precisely due to the sensation due to Buffett's lunch time. The report had been subsequently denied by Justin Sunlight. This post-90s internet celebrity entrepreneur's proud marketing ability is causing him to encounter the largest crisis to date. At twelve hrs after Buffett's lunch time was announced, simply three . 5 hrs after Justin Sunlight announced the news, the currency price of TRON's TRX touched the lowest point of 0.025USDT in those days, and fell 11.86%.

Wan Jiu howled. This foreign currency price that's perfectly associated with the news offers caught several speculators who want to make a fortune out of this Buffett lunch. Currently, two screenshots of the suspected Sun Justin conversation flowed out and went viral on the net.

(Screenshot circulating on the internet) Justin Sun in the screenshot stated: "I have repeatedly emphasized that earning money is the most important thing. Everyone thinks that Buffett teaches me for lunch time, so I will teach Barao before I eat." This astronomical lunch, that was already full of magical colors, is currently suspended midway dramatically. Along with producing netizens worship Employer Sun's god-level procedure, there's also numerous vicious desires of "May the disease get over Justin Sun soon"...

(Network screenshot) Some netizens even took advantage of Justin Sun's "kidney rocks" and changed the mind of the male and women protagonists in the ad video of Kidney Baopian into the mind of Justin Sunlight and Buffett, with spoof text: Kidney insufficiency, sometimes after excessive reducing of leeks, it seems that your body was Empty, desire to replace kidney overdraft? Never miss the dinner with beauties once again. There's also people who wrote limericks in the circle of friends: "I don't know the beauty of his wife Liu Qiangdong, ordinary family Ma Huateng, regret to generate Ali Jack Ma, have nothing to do with Wang Jianlin, suddenly stone Sun Yuchen..." It can be said that when Sunlight Ge made the hot research, netizens became poems and inspirations emerged. After a long time of ridicule, a report suddenly turned the painting style into suspense. At 11:30 in the morning, the 21st Hundred years Company Herald published articles "Exceptional Blockbuster! Justin Sunlight, who cancelled Buffett's lunch, had been suspected of illegal fund-raising, cash laundering, and pornographic playing." This article directly identifies Sun Justin's several crimes: his "Accompany Me" app is suspected of pornography transactions; the TRON task can be dominated by gambling applications, and domestic users can directly access it. Professor Li Aijun, Dean of the Internet Finance Law Institute of The far east University of Political Science and Law, pointed out that as a funding channel, ICO offers constituted illegal fund-raising or contract fraud, and there's a risk of token issuers splitting through legal limitations and plundering investors' legal residence. Justin Sun also raised large amounts of illegal funds similarly. The sentence in the article about "Justin Sunlight is still in the territory" has caused a heated discussion among netizens: "Sun's illness is merely because he was restricted from making the country because of illegal activities." The reporter offers obtained condolences from several circles of friends: "Employer Sunlight can be Didn't something actually happen?" Later, Justin Sunlight sent the microblog to refute the rumours, stating that the pictures posted on the net were almost all PS; and clarified that illegal fund-raising was fake.

(Screenshot of Justin Sun's Weibo) At 11 o'clock in the evening, the storyline had another main reversal. In accordance with Caixin reviews, Justin Sun has been restricted from making the country in the context of carrying on to rectify Internet financial chaos. "The National Internet Financial Risk Special Rectification Group Office has recommended that the general public security organs file an investigation on Sunlight Yuchen's suspected illegal fund-raising, cash laundering, involvement in pornography, and playing." In accordance with Sina Finance, Justin Sun had not been on the watch list of regulators before, but because of his relationship with Buffett and continued hype, he joined the vision of regulators. Caixin also further confirmed the 21st centuries reviews about Justin Sun's "Accompany Me" App involving pornography. The company has already applied for cancellation. As of this time, TRON's drop has expanded to 20%. At 12:40 in the evening, Justin Sunlight sent another Weibo to clarify that Caixin's document was untrue. This makes everything more complicated.

Who's Justin Sun? Who's Justin Sun? Born in a little town in Huizhou, Guangdong, this individual once regarded the rebellious writer Han Han seeing that his idol. He has repeatedly appeared over the hot research, and he has been the rebellious child with an extremely unique personality since he was a child. In the record of his university classmate GQ editor-in-chief Justin Sun, Justin Sun in high school only writes essays; the British test uses Chinese to answer questions; when filling in the blanks in the history test, the villain will fill in the title of the class teacher, and vice versa. In their own title: Justin Sunlight. He is well versed in the idea of ??getting famous as soon as possible. In the 3rd grade of elementary school, he visited Wuhan to learn Go; the center school dedicated himself to the Pc Olympiad. It's just that these final attempts failed to persist. Han Han's road to popularity when this individual was youthful became his final hope. He hoped to improve his destiny by composing, but he previously no option but to vote for three years without any reaction. He finally earned the first prize of the brand new Concept Composition Competitors in the 3rd year of high school, therefore he got the extra points for the faculty entrance examination and was accepted to Peking College. Just Sunlight Yuchen regrets that this first prize didn't make him as famous as Han Han. In Justin Sun's very own description, this is actually the result of the awakening of the self-consciousness of the high school and the result of understanding how to reconcile using the rebellion of the past. Additionally it is an inspirational story of attacking Peking College from three textbooks. However, within He Hong's story, there is a supplementary layer of speculation. It really is Sunlight Justin who thoroughly studied the style of the first prize of the previous new concept composition competitions and had written many posts with different designs for the bonus points for the faculty entrance examination. Shanghai intends to increase the opportunity of meeting the taste of the judges. The management style has tell you his 4 years at Peking University. Freshman, to be able to improve quality point, Justin Sunlight chose to transfer through the Section of Literature to the Section of History. After returning from Hong Kong, his beliefs ??had been reshaped, from the talented man to public information. Choosing "Southern Weekend" being an internship made him successfully obtain an offer through the School of Pennsylvania. Through the internship, Justin Sun also opened a column of "Weekly Review" on Renren.com. The signature of each review will indicate: Justin Sunlight is at the News Section of "Southern Weekend", and the amount of hits soared. Justin Sun loves to comment on current affairs. Looking back again at your blog posts that were launched in those days, there is absolutely no shortage of lashings over the hot dots of numerous industries, including Foxconn's 10 consecutive jumps, era-sensitive phrases, as well as the script of If You Are the One. In March 2011, Peking University will implement an educational consultation system for ten types of ¨key students〃 including educational difficulties, intense ideology, mental fragility, and financial poverty, starting from May of that year. ¨Upset youngsters〃 Justin Sunlight successively The posting denounced the appointment system as only a Nazi. Etc the include of "Asian countries Weekly". In July 2011, after the release of "Asia Weekly", Justin Sunlight changed his username on Renren to "Justin Sunlight | Asia Weekly Cover Person". In this regard, the original author Zhang Jieping explained that the original procedure idea was to create about the band of university students on Renren, not really Justin Sun. Nevertheless, due to period constraints, I adjusted to write one or two more famous representative people to bring out the story of the entire group. "I don't want my narrative to be kidnapped by their own statement, nonetheless it is difficult to investigate and deal with it at length, so I allow it become presented since it is." "Ma Yun's Youngest Disciple" In March 2015, Justin Sunlight added another name to his Baidu Baike: "Ma Yun's Youngest Disciple". Earlier, Justin Sunlight was selected into the first phase of the "Lakeside College" list and was the only real post-90s entrepreneur included in this. In following autobiography, Justin Sunlight once mentioned that Jack Ma had designed his commercial value. Perhaps out of admiration for Ma Yun, Justin Sun likes to take pictures with Ma Yun and surf the Internet. This move had been regarded as the popularity of Cengma's dad. Later, Ali requested Justin Sun to avoid using "Ma Yun Disciple" to package himself. Justin Sun's idol changed from Han Han and Chen Duxiu to Ma Yun; his identification changed from the high-scoring talent ever sold to a business entrepreneur. The impact of the American study abroad experience on Justin Sunlight is not negligible. The Hong Kong experience is not the first time he has been "cleansed". In accordance with Justin Sunlight, after he visited america, he browse the works of the female author Ann Rand and suffered "a baptism of beliefs." Since then, he thinks that entrepreneurs are the primary of the entire planet, as well as the more people earn money, the more noble they are. Seeing that a get better at like Yu Yingshi, whom I respected, has an yearly salary of just $100,000, much less good being a rookie on Wall Street. He decided to All in the business world. However, in the mainstream media quoting the document of Friends of Sunlight, Justin Sun had been single-minded to enter the business world due to the "New Youth" online magazine on the College of Pennsylvania, and his posts fell into "plagiarism," and for that reason his reputation within the original group Complete bankruptcy. When he was a graduate pupil, Justin Sun invested in Tesla with a gain of more than 4 occasions; after cashing out Stud Bitcoin, he obtained a lot more than 20 occasions the gain. Furthermore, Justin Sun started the program "Threesome in america". He stated that this experience "permitted me to adapt to the uncertainty and cruelty of entrepreneurship." By the end of 2013, Justin Sun quit getting yourself ready for the law college exam for greater than a year and returned to China as the head of Ripple China to start out a business. He received IDG expense and established Ruibo Tianxia Technology Co., Ltd., a company engaged in the introduction of decentralized clearing program products, and dedicated himself to the influx of entrepreneurship delivered in the 1990s. By the end of 2014, Justin Sun's phone social software was launched with my APP. Regarding the reasons for returning to China, Justin Sun once stated that america can be difficult to break through to the key, and China may be the world's perfect entrepreneurial environment. At the beginning of his return to China, "Chinese Entrepreneur" made an application for him and Sogou CEO Wang Xiaochuan. The original intention of the program was an agreeable exchange between productive entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs, but the conversation between your two had not been friendly, and the program was not broadcast in the long run. Nevertheless, Justin Sun remembered this experience and talked about it again at the start of this calendar year. He published to Moments stating that he would never forget Wang Xiaochuan's go through the liar.

This circle of friends became popular in June and made "Chinese Entrepreneur" re-publish the video from many years ago. In the video, Justin Sun spoken eloquently and discussed his participation in the Wudaokou Financial Discussion board. The guests at exactly the same level had been Wu Xiaoling, A big coffee at Zhou Xiaochuan's level, he is assured that the task will be taken notice of by the bank market leaders; Wang Xiaochuan offers frequently interrupted and stated that this is not counted, this isn't successful, and directly stated that the query has been requested, obviously forget about patience to request. .

The process is like a listing of technology media products: "You speak to him about technology, he said that the central bank has held meetings, you ask him what advantages the company and people have, he said that the central bank has held meetings, and you said that the virtual currency problem lies in issuing Currency may be the right of the country. He stated that his main bank had held meetings." The industry's detractors or the very best CEOs in the currency circle. Numerous entrepreneurs born in the 90s are usually catching up with the mobile Internet train, however, not many can get on the train. Maybe Justin Sunlight obviously realized that the Internet field had simply no opportunity for him to be the first, therefore he immediately switched to blockchain. This time around, he seemed to have finally found the right place. Thanks to his call-out attributes, he may be the "best CEO in the currency group" in Leek's mind. At the beginning of the establishment of TRON, Justin Sun relied on the backdrop of prestigious institutions, the successful experience of investing in Bitcoin and Tesla, as well as the entrepreneurial background of Accompany Me APP to attract celebrities and investment institutions. In 2017, when Binance started the initial round of ICO warm-up, he used Maserati and Mercedes-Benz as incentives to promote the appreciation of tokens; even though the 94 regulatory occurrence occurred in the frosty winter of the foreign currency circle, Justin Sunlight still didn't forget to broadcast reside to calm the sentiment of the community. TRON, that was once regarded as "air" by many, not only during the funding period, private keeping almost 4,000 bitcoins, and after list over the exchange, the problem price rose from 0.01 yuan to about 1.87 yuan, successfully in the last wave of bull marketplace Turn into a hundred occasions currency. Justin Sunlight, who holds most of the Tron coins, succeeded in becoming a billion-dollar gamer because of cashing out at a higher level. It really is reported that on January 5th, Justin Sunlight sold 6 billion TRON coins and cashed out 300 mil U.S. dollars, or about 2 billion yuan, which once caused the foreign currency price to plummet. Until he bought Buffett's lunch time, some netizens on Zhihu sarcastically used the ¨cash earned from reducing leeks〃 to buy a sky-high lunch time. Although Leek suffered weighty losses, at that time, Justin Sunlight didn't die like various other founders, but still high-profile marketing TRON, in order that TRON would not collapse, and even benefited. For example, you can find two big competitions against Ethereum and EOS: Justin Sun listed 7 reasons why TRON (TRX) is better than Ethereum (ETH) in a tweet, and was angered by the tone of voice of Ethereum founder V. Modeled on EOS's prevailing very node campaign, it also created a brilliant representative. Instead, TRON survived the bear market and gathered a large amount of ammunition for itself by the method of "catch cash before doing things". In the currency circle, Justin Sunlight upgraded from the mark of crusade to the mark of joking and even worshiping "Brother Sunlight". After all, whether it's the acquisition of BitTorrent at a big price or the continuous development of high-bonus developer events, TRON is considered by many to be always a project that's willing to spend cash; even if you go through the public chain of TRON, it seems that the performance is not bad. Mainnet It's been launched, the DApp ecosystem is catching up with EOS, and the existing market value of TRON also ranks tenth. In Leek's eyes, a good CEO is a good CEO who can call for an order. Even if they could not really respect the CEO. This past year, Li Xiaolai's recording was open. In the recording, Li Xiaolai commented on Sunlight Yuchen being a "big flicker", and Sunlight Yuchen yelled injustice and had been shot while lying down. In the high vote responses, netizens stated: "It's alright, everyone knows that you will be a liar. Li Xiaolai does not have the capability to give you a title", "Everyone understands that you will be a liar, but if you can obtain another give to let the leeks earn money. Good liar". On the other hand, some blockchain entrepreneurs extremely despise Justin Sun, thinking that his existence discredited the industry and triggered bad money to operate a vehicle out good cash: companies that do good things are criticized by speculators for not really purchasing, and companies that do nothing every day. Instead, the marketplace value is probably the best. Somebody commented on Justin Sunlight, the successful Justin Sunlight as well as the downturned Wang Xiaochuan: "The foreign currency circle Kardashian, well-known for being famous."

(The Kardashian family may be the most popular superstar family in the U.S. who understands marketing subjects. Through their homemade reality shows, they show off blood, gossip and extravagant lifestyle on internet sites. Although they're controversial, they actually bring their very own traffic.) Justin Sunlight has still over-marketed and packaged himself. He usually seizes every opportunity to become famous, accurately shows up around every spot, and seamlessly connects technologies, people's livelihood and enjoyment news. Some individuals dislike him because of this; some say bluntly "that Sunlight Yuchen is not wrong"; some individuals focus on him, are captivated by his experience, and admire his powerful execution. Regardless, his goal was achieved. In 2015, he already considers himself a "wealthy, interesting, and ideal" newcomer with Sanyou. Exactly like Justin Sunlight revealing in his group of friends, and after recording the display with Wang Xiaochuan, "Our corporation offers surpassed Sogou's marketplace value in less than three years. In life, people who look down on you earn you more memorable." However, to this day, Wang Xiaochuan still sneered at him. He despised Justin Sun's achievement with regards to value and marketplace value. Seeing Justin Sun's irony, he responded. Only scientists who pursue truth with intense rationality, artists who pursue attractiveness with intense sensibility, and heroes who make contributions to the planet or nation with great love can be immortal. The currency circle has always been a microcosm of society, as well as the tearing of values ??is no exception. On the list of non-coin circles, there is absolutely no shortage of people who admire Justin Sun, who thinks he is "young and rich without splitting the law" and is really a genius, hoping to be Justin Sun; some supporters consider him as The idol believes Justin Sunlight is ¨smart and understands marketing and advertising〃, and regards Sun's enthusiastic actions as a public relations learning model; actually prior to the TRON COO Liu Ming shown ¨Sunlight entered the foreign currency group, he didn't know what ERC2 is. .0", there are still supporters defending, at the very least Justin Sunlight gets the courage and courage. Community is cruel for some people and incredibly gentle for some people. Luo Chao route thinks that Wang Xiaochuan and Justin Sun are usually two opposite types of people: Justin Sunlight speculatively participated in the brand new Concept Composition Competitors and was admitted to Peking College. At the age of 18, Wang Xiaochuan earned a platinum medal in the International Informatics Olympiad and had been "directed" to enter Tsinghua College. Justin Sun cannot be the number one in one industry and must immediately switch to another; it is difficult to return to China to start out a business in america. Wang Xiaochuan has been operating at Sohu since graduating. He started being a technical engineer at the age of 25, and contains always been focused on Sogou. When Zhang Chaoyang wanted to sell Sogou, he worked hard to protect him. As the Luo Chao channel concluded, the two people chose two diametrically opposite "entrepreneurship" routes, and they also chose completely different life paths. And which is correct and wrong, there is absolutely no answer, this is actually the fucking globe, this is actually the true to life "bad cash drives out good cash". Considering the inspirational story compiled by Justin Sun for teenagers today, it probably reminds individuals who when he had been interviewing at Lakeside College, his ambition for Feng Lun had been realized. In those days, Feng Lun asked Justin Sun: "If the business is successful in the future, what would you like to do?" Justin Sunlight replied: "The reason why I started my business is because We realize that entrepreneurs are the basic force that maintains the trend of the country and society. They are not only creating value for consumers, paying taxes, and promoting employment, but moreover, promoting business civilization. Along with entrepreneurial success, I hope to promote the introduction of industrial civilization and market the cultivation of entrepreneurial spirit." Looking back again at Justin Sun's entrepreneurial route, perhaps today's Justin Sun has the sort of madness that Jack Ma had back then. But obviously, there's still an Alibaba between Justin Sunlight and Jack Ma.

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to 2017 college football TV watch ‘em ups: week 3

I’ve heard all of the complaints about this week’s games but you can all go to hell. One great game is all it takes to have a great week.

But there will be others! Just have faith, some of these off brand games are gonna be a hell of a lot of fun. Trust yourself to the degeneracy. Going outside and/or talking to people is a lost cause that will bring you nothing but pain and confusion. The scorch is alive with the sounds of gambling!

We don’t have enough site visitors for you to not know the deal already. All times are listed in EST because that’s how they come from FBSchedules. Following my gambling advice is likely to make your life exponentially worse. Drink more. If you’re reading this you need a drink. And some drugs. 

If you ask what time or what channel a game is on in the comments you deserve to be banned. Absolutely brilliant header image pilfered here.

If you need something besides football to fill your time, go back and watch this classic episode of Geraldo featuring the guy Macauley Culkin played in Party Monster as well as a young RuPaul.

Saturday, Sept. 16, 2017

Matchup                                                                  Time (ET)                       TV

Air Force at (7) Michigan                                        Noon                          BTN

I’ve been joking all week that Air Force is gonna spring the upset here. I don’t believe that at all but I would totally take them to cover +27 if you can still get that anywhere. +23 is getting a little dicey, though.

Delaware State at West Virginia                             Noon           ROOT SPORTS

I’m not opposed to horrific beatdowns as entertainment. If WFV is up by 40 in the first half I might switch to this.

Iowa State at Akron                                                 Noon                    CBSSN

Pretty sure I’ve met my quota of Iowa State football this year and my MAC quota is however much Miami plays a MAC team.

Kansas at Ohio                                                         Noon                     ESPNU

Ohio is a bottom 10 team in the country but are they “lose to Kansas” bad? Only one way to find out: by reading the box score after the game is over.

NIU at Nebraska                                                       Noon                      FS1

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Bear with me here, we haven’t gotten through the noon games yet.

(9) Oklahoma State at Pittsburgh                            Noon                    ESPN 

Here, here, look! A top 10 team can lose a big upset to an unranked team that isn’t even any good. That isn’t something that interests you? No? Really? OK, well we aren’t friends in real life.

(25) UCLA at Memphis                                              Noon                      ABC 

Memphis might be better as a team than UCLA. Not more talented, mind you, because UCLA is actually very talented. But better as a team because they aren’t coached by Jim Mora Jr. He’s the worst. Memphis is thoroughly OK and it’s not inconceivable to me that Riley Ferguson ends up as a better pro than Josh Rosen.

UConn at Virginia                                                      Noon                    ESPN2 

This is a fucking abomination. Pray for the poor pro scouts stuck watching this bullshit because of the 7 or so NFL prospects involved.

UL Lafayette at Texas A&M                                      Noon                    SECN 

I don’t hate Kevin Sumlin but this job might kill him. I want him back in the AAC tier of coaching jobs. He coached some fun teams at Houston, I hope he’s saved up enough that a move back to that level won’t cause him any real pain.

Furman at NC State                                                  12:20 pm                ACCN 

Holy fuck. Don’t watch this.

Baylor at Duke                                                           12:30 pm                   RSN

I don’t know how to choose sides between the athletics department that is basically the embodiment of the evil that men can do in the name of protecting the runaway cash cow that “amateur athletics” can become on one side and Baylor on the other.

Coastal Carolina at UAB                                            1:00 pm     Raycom (local)

I think Raycom is the name of one of the lead characters in the Left Behind books. And now he’s out here broadcasting nearly football games for his friends and family.

Northern Colorado at Colorado                                2:00 pm              Pac-12N 

I’ve come to realize that the Pac-12 added Colorado just for schedule coverage on Saturdays. It worked out really well last year when they had four NFL defensive backs but I’m not recommending that you watch Rocky Mountain Iowa for fun. 

Tennessee Tech at Ball State                                     3:00 pm               ESPN3 

It’s awesome that some games don’t get to play on TV at all and this one is on some version of ESPN.

Utah State at Wake Forest                                        3:00 pm        ACCNExtra 

Hell, there’s only got to be one half decent game on at a time. This isn’t one of those but I mean to say stick with it and don’t leave me alone here watching all day college football by myself and talking to my walls.

Central Michigan at Syracuse                                   3:30 pm        ACCNExtra

When Syracuse fucked up the Big East they should have joined the MAC. Dino Babers is a perfect MAC coach.

FIU at Indiana                                    —Canceled

No word yet if this game was cancelled due to infrastructure issues or a general lack of interest.

Morgan State at Rutgers                                           3:30 pm               BTN 

This is very grim. Is Rutgers able to lose to Morgan State? I don’t know. Probably. 

Middle Tennessee at Minnesota                               3:30 pm              BTN 

Here we go, Richie James versus the Row the Boat guy. This could have some fun highlights. Has PJ Fleck actually gotten anything going at Minnesota or is still way too early? I’m honestly asking.

North Carolina at Old Dominion                               3:30 pm          Stadium

Reminder: Stadium is an app. You have to download it to watch. It’s free which is still way too much to pay to watch this game.

North Texas at Iowa                                                  3:30 pm              ESPN2 

I might honestly hate football by the time the Lamar Jackson game starts.

Notre Dame at Boston College                                3:30 pm               ESPN 

Notre Dame will be playing for revenge after Boston College tricked them into hiring Brian Kelly. I’ll keep an eye on the score but the expected entertainment value in watching this game is negative.

SMU at (20) TCU                                                        3:30 pm             ESPNU 

I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m intrigued by this game but I’m maybe pre-intrigued. Like Courtland Sutton is huge and could go off at any time but there’s a realistic chance that TCU wins by 60, also.

(23) Tennessee at (24) Florida                                   3:30 pm               CBS

It’s been 20 years since that stretch where this rivalry was contending for best game each year. Now, UF has an offensive guru head coach who is leading them to a third straight season of worse than top 100 offense and Tennessee has a head coach who’s actually even more inexplicably still employed. Feel the excitement!

(16) Virginia Tech at East Carolina                            3:30 pm            CBSSN 

Justin Fuente was a really great hire by Virginia Tech. It seems to have re-energized Bud Foster, the offense looks good. I absolutely fucking hate it.

(10) Wisconsin at BYU                                               3:30 pm                 ABC 

BYU used to have all kinds of big name opponents every year, back in the days before Don Juan Alvarez turned Wisconsin into a really good program. I like the idea of this matchup, in large part because it’s being played in Utah. BYU isn’t great right now but this is a tough spot to win on the road. If Wisconsin does blow the doors off BYU, I hope it’s behind a bunch of carries from Jonathan Taylor. I’m mulling over having him on the RTARLsman list next week.

Mercer at (15) Auburn                                              4:00 pm             SECN Alt. 

This is a very SEC kind of game. Good job scheduling this as the follow up to being mauled by Clemson. I’m not even being snarky, this is perfect. Not even the least bit watchable but should be great for the team.

Purdue at Missouri                                                   4:00 pm                  SECN

Missouri is favored by 7 and I kind of feel like that’s a mistake. Jeff Brohm is a low key contender for best coaching hire of 2017.

Army at (8) Ohio State                                              4:30 pm                 FOX 

The last time I felt this unsure about Ohio State Spencer started railing about Tom Herman being the best OC in the country, the Buckeyes went on a 13-game winning streak and won a national title. Now Spencer hates sports, Tom Herman is a shitty head coach in Texas and if Ohio State’s offense continues the way it’s gone so far this year then Urban Meyer will be forced by god to spend some time with his family. Go Army.

Oregon State at (21) Washington State                   5:30 pm               Pac-12N 

This is probably not going to make any sense to anybody that didn’t watch the game but Washington State actually looked kind of shitty even while they were coming back from a 21-point deficit last week. Luke Falk got hurt but I didn’t follow up to see the severity of it. I mean all this to say this is a game only a gambler can love.

Colgate at Buffalo                                                      6:00 pm               ESPN3

Can the bison avoid having their teeth cleaned?

North Carolina A&T at Charlotte                               6:00 pm  WCCB/CUSA.TV

I’ll say this for UNC, Larry Fedora does put together an interesting game plan. I’m not really sold on any of their talent this year but I’m still not sold on Mitch Trubisky, either, and that turned out pretty well for them.

Tulane at (2) Oklahoma                                              6:00 pm           FSOK PPV 

Somebody who fucks mud, please explain why this is only on PPV? Is that a mistake on the schedule or Oklahoma really trying to become the flyover version of Hawaii? For what it’s worth my impression of Oklahoma bashing Ohio State last week is that every single reaction to that game was outsized. Oklahoma is not the 2nd best team in the country.

Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic                     6:30 pm       beIN SPORTS

Go Wildcats.

Kent State at Marshall                                               6:30 pm            CUSA.TV

The bad part is almost over.

Alabama A&M at South Alabama                              7:00 pm              ESPN3 

USA has been a disappointment so far but there isn’t even a line for this game so what the hell does information even do for you here?

Appalachian State at Texas State                             7:00 pm              ESPN3

When you look at every game all lined up one by one like this it seems like the bad stretches on for miles in every direction but the truth is you don’t even have to think about these games at 7pm because there’s other better stuff on.

Colorado State at (1) Alabama                                  7:00 pm             ESPN2 

Colorado State isn’t a complete patsy but they’re enough of a patsy that a 28.5 point line is enticing. The under seems close to safe if you get it at 54.

Idaho at Western Michigan                                        7:00 pm            ESPN3 

Idaho’s farewell to 1-A tour continues its journey through the worst places in college football. There’s not much good that can come of this one.

Idaho State at Nevada                                                7:00 pm         ATTSNRM 

Nobody gives a shit about this game but as a mascot fight it’s a classic. A Bengal tiger versus a pack of wolves? You assume the wolves would outflank the tiger but a really huge tiger is capable of making a lot of death happen.

Louisiana Tech at WKU                                               7:00 pm           Stadium

This was a pretty cool talent showcase the last few years (even though WKU was actually boring to watch under Jeff Brohm) but I don’t know about it this year. 

(12) LSU at Mississippi State                                     7:00 pm                ESPN

Arden Key vs. Nick Fitzgerald is interesting on both sides. Key’s build and jersey call to mind nightmares of Barkevious Mingo but you’ve got to keep trying for it with athletic talent. Fitzgerald is pretty athletic in his own right. On the other side this should be a pretty good chance for Derrius Guice to get his stats to start looking impressive.

Oregon at Wyoming                                                    7:00 pm              CBSSN 

I’ve got a sadistic interest in this game. Oregon may not be good on defense but they are really fast and that should be enough to make Josh Allen look ridiculous again. 

Southern at UTSA                                                 7:00 pm  KCWX-TV/CUSA.TV

It took a little longer than I’d hoped but it looks like UTSA has reached the pinnacle of mediocrity that Larry Coker dreamed of when he started the program.

Southern Miss at ULM                                              7:00 pm                ESPN3 

I won’t see a second of it but this is the kind of unloved game that keeps me invested in football. I don’t know if there’s any single player in this one that I want to see but it’s so indie.

Tulsa at Toledo                                                           7:00 pm               ESPN3

I can’t explain what it is that make me love Southern Miss-ULM and hate this one but I hate this one.

UAPB at Ar(18) Kansas State                                    7:00 pm             ESPN3

Haha - I’m leaving this typo because it’s amazing. FBSchedules inserted the 18 into Arkansas State’s name and made this much weirder and worse than it actually is.

Bowling Green at Northwestern                               7:30 pm                 BTN 

Thank god there’s no reason to be stuck watching this.

Georgia State at (5) Penn State                                 7:30 pm                BTN 

James Franklin is horrible and wants everything to be terrible and that’s why he doesn’t let Saquon Barkley touch the ball more than 10 times per game.

Georgia Tech at UCF                            —Canceled

I’m going to look around one day and I won’t even be an oddity for loving the triple option the way I do and then it will lose its magic.

(18) Kansas State at Vanderbilt                                 7:30 pm              ESPNU 

This is somehow boring and exciting at the same time. I think Vanderbilt is actually the better team but maybe I’m overselling them in my mind now to make up for how little I thought of them before the year?

Kentucky at South Carolina                                       7:30 pm                SECN 

I’m not getting sucked into this garbage pile.

Samford at (13) Georgia                                              7:30 pm          SECN Alt. 

This is a practice game. You don’t need to watch this even if you love UGA.

Arizona State at Texas Tech                                        8:00 pm                 FSN 

I guess Arizona State fans are going berserk on social media calling the players names, asking for the coaches to be fired. They’re taking that into a Big XII game which could be just what the doctor ordered! If the doctor wants Arizona State to keep getting shitty @s from their fans. That’s a very cruel doctor but not the worst that I’ve ever heard of.

Cincinnati at Miami, OH                                               8:00 pm  FOX 19/ESPN3

This game is so bad that it’s actually a question whether it’s better or worse than an NFL game between Cincinnati and Miami.

(3) Clemson at (14) Louisville                                       8:00 pm                 ABC 

Woo! This is all that matters. If Lamar Jackson is as good in real life as he is in my mind this will be the game of the year. Somewhere in the early stages of the second quarter, the Canelo-GGG undercard will start. Hopefully that main event starts just as this main event ends. I don’t want any overlap.

(17) Miami, FL at (11) Florida State              —PPD to 10/07

In purely football terms this seems like a best case scenario for both teams to postpone the game. Miami looked rough around the edges in their first game and FSU lost their starting QB in their first game. 

Rice at Houston                                                            8:00 pm              ESPN3

Everything starting at 8pm is counter-programming but this is Ed Oliver’s show. Which is worth checking in for even against Rice.

Troy at New Mexico State                                            8:00 pm             ESPN3 

This is a conference game. That’s all I have to say about this one.

Texas at (4) USC                                                            8:30 pm                FOX 

Hilariously, on a player for player basis, Texas is about even with USC. In theory! Realistically none of those players play well with each other and there doesn’t even seem to be an actual gameplan just yet. So the question is whether or not USC can cover a pretty huge spread. I feel like no? For some reason.

Fresno State at (6) Washington                                    9:30 pm          Pac-12N

I’m really looking forward to people nationwide discovering that UDub is still undefeated when they play USC.

San Jose State at Utah                                                 10:00 pm           ESPN2

Late night football is supposed to be weird and this is where things start to devolve into pure late night degeneracy.

University of Mississippi, Oxford at California           10:30 pm            ESPN 

Duhhhhhhhh, thesche schnowfthlakes in Berkeley can’t handle conthervatiff idealsch. I want to just enjoy the oddball cross-country Power 5 matchup but now I’m just stuck here thinking of the shitty Berkeley Bears as football antifa and I have to root for them. That’s a me problem, to be sure, but I can really only ever root against Mississippi anyway. Still, fuck Ben Shapiro, fuck small government, fuck the concept of “entitlements” and fuck white supremacy bullshit dressed up in the language of intellectual curiosity or purity. Woohoo, go footballs.

(19) Stanford at San Diego State                                 10:30 pm          CBSSN 

Rashaad Penny is bulked up more than Ronald Jones II, who ran over Stanford last week, but SDSU doesn’t have anything close to the OL talent that USC does. This is going could still be on at midnight on the West Coast, hopefully it will stay competitive that long. Or SDSU can rip Stanford, I’d be good with that, too.

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