#the commentary is very unintentional

[sweeneydino]

Biggering

He’s totally not evil

Ngl this was supposed to be just a sketch but then biggering came on so it got a different meaning-

And then handsome jack voicelines so it just made itself

Heres the refs

If you know, you know-

[royalreef]

Her relationship status might be best described as "rapidly compressing down into a trans-universal singularity by sheer power of lesbianism".

Or, alternatively, "impress her. She knows you can't."

[dragonsareoverrated2]

why why fucking why

why can someone get a parent like that and then get taken away from them

why the fuck

how come he has a good parent then gets taken away but i was stuck

why

why are they fucking up this bad

why couldnt i have a parent like her in place of him

why

why why why

[artificialflav]

Prev tags

DON’T YOU FUCKING TEMPT ME! I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ESSAY ON THIS SHIT. It’s literally one of the main reasons I love Phantom Blood so much. It’s literally so fucking funny how unintentionally amazing it is as a commentary on 1800s British classist views lol.

I love that Dio's excuse for trying to kill Jonathan's father is that, being poor made him evil....AND JONATHAN WAS WILLING TO BELIEVE THAT!

[starlit1daydream]

On the subject of Equius Zahhak: hypersexuality and patriarchy.

It's been a hot minute since I promised to write something like this, and I've been meaning to test a new writing style for these big posts anyways - so I'm going to try my hand at explaining my personal interpretation of Equius Zahhak.

Equius is one of my favourite side characters in Homestuck, and though the individual components of his characterisation are intentionally facetious and humourous, all of these components then come together to form a fantastic and deeply layered commentary, however unintentional.

Let's begin with the basics: our introduction to Equius proper.

The narrative makes it clear from the start how you're meant to feel about this guy for starters - he's a creep and a weirdo. Nepeta says as much in their very first interaction on-screen:

This is backed up by the narrator themselves exhibiting a discomfort with him, painting him as a cryptic and eerily observant loner:

Once again, he's making people uncomfortable. Discomfort is going to be a very common theme going forward, particularly once we tap into Equius' personal interests and the justification behind them.

The next sign is when we first see him properly on-screen, and the narrator is immediately mortified by the state of his room and advises us to move on with the story.

So, immediately, any cognizant reader knows what's up. This guy is a joke character. A punchline, a fool, a weird asshole with no redeeming qualities. This is, of course, the intended reaction.

...Which then brings us to the subversions involved with Equius' character. Every single off-putting and strange thing about him is subsequently repainted in a more flattering light by the conclusion of his screen-time.

What begins as an overcontrolling, possessive demeanour towards Nepeta becomes a genuine, albeit perhaps overbearing desire to protect his moirail from harm. The context of him being Vriska's neighbour helps us infer that he's very, very aware of the dangers of FLARPing.

What starts as a bizarre and testosterone-poisoned obsession with strength becomes more of a fleshed-out character flaw. It's an inherent fault that Equius cannot control that brings him more distress than anything else. We'll delve into that later.

This is not, of course, to say that Equius is without genuine fault. You are still meant to find problems with his behaviour, of course you are; the Aradiabot fiasco is an intentional violation of personal agency based around an unhealthy obsession. He allows himself and his moirail to die because of his refusal to disobey the vapid and classist hemospectrum.

Okay, so why is he like this?

I'm glad you've asked. This is where this delves more into conjecture, based around a few different things.

The state of the internet and online culture at the time of Equius' inception; and the ramifications therein.

What we know to be true about the aspect of Void, and how Equius interacts with it.

The added retroactive context of Hussie's handling of queer topics (as a non-binary person themselves!), particularly on the subject of gender identity.

Let's start with point one.

Equius and hypersexuality.

At the time of Homestuck's inception, it was a veritable fact that the internet was overrun with overt sexuality, oft for the sake of shock value as opposed to arousal. Screamers and shock sites like 2girls1cup, goatse, Mr. Hands... (that last one is particularly relevant).

I cite Mr. Hands in particular because therein we get to the use of bestiality as a gross-out punchline. This is what Hussie's invoking with Equius; you're looking at this guy and seeing a gross freak who hangs horse porn on his walls. It's appealing to the fact that:

Homosexuality was considered a funny punchline.

The furry fandom was considered a funny puchline.

Bestiality was considered a funny punchline.

And so, this thirteen year old child hanging gay horse porn on his walls is meant to be played for laughs.

But with the retroactive lens we're looking at this through now? It's not only deeply disturbing for reasons I don't think I need to explain, but it's also a portrait of unhealthy teenage sexuality and the ramifications of exposure to explicit content at a young age.

Because it's a veritable fact that Equius does not understand boundaries and has a deeply flawed relationship with his sexuality. It's the kind of hypersexuality induced by childhood exposure to sexual material, and I would go as far as to call it a kind of CSE.

Need more proof of this? Dave Strider. Bro's weird sex puppets and usage of pornography as a punchline undeniably fucked Dave up, and explains the way he so regularly uses sex, particularly gay sex as a source of humour. Dave is the same problem that Equius rises, played seriously at a point in the story wherein these things are no longer treated so facetiously.

Furthermore, it becomes clear that Equius does not actually understand what he is consuming and emulating. Pornography isn't pornography to him, it's fine art. He's uncomfortable and unhappy with his sexuality because he lacks a label for it and doesn't know what it is he's feeling. This is tied to his Aspect of Void; but more on that in just a second.

This is uncomfortable. It is meant to be uncomfortable.

Equius' toying with casteplay and power dynamics is a clear representation of this frayed relationship - and it also segues into our point about his lack of self-worth.

Equius, the Heir of Void.

The Void Aspect. The Aspect of irrelevance, secrecy, ignorance, simplicity and absence, amongst other things.

The Heir Class. The Class that indicates an overabundance of the player's Aspect that overwhelms them and embodies them.

Equius is he who inherits, becomes and is consumed by emptiness. Because Equius Zahhak does not have a sense of selfhood or self-worth. The inference brought about by his title as the Heir of Void is that Equius is overwhelmed by nothingness.

Combine this with his Dersite status and the consensus on Lunar Sway (Prospit indicating externalisation, Derse indicating internalisation) and you get a very clear image of how Equius' title translates.

An overwhelming, consuming sense of internalised absence and nothingness. This is where Equius' hemospectrum adherence comes in! It's a cover up to compensate for his purposelessness and lack of meaningful identity. He sees himself as being deficient in anything real or of substance, and so adheres to the system placed before him because it is the only thing he feels he understands.

Once again, this is uncomfortable and a real phenomenon amongst teen boys. We see it with Eridan, too; young and confused teenagers with no sense of purpose falling into harmful and bigoted pipelines because they have no sense of direction otherwise.

(In a roundabout sense this explains Tavros' role as well; The Page indicates a deficit in their Aspect throughout the session and so the trolls lacking Breath in the form of directionlessness fits fairly well).

It's almost like watching a young boy fall into the alt-right, or start feed into Andrew Tate-style snake oil bullshit. It's the exact same kind of exploitation on a much larger scale; because it's the whole of Alternian society orchestrated by Doc Scratch.

You know... the Doc Scratch meant to represent online groomers?

So, we've been over about all I can cover about Equius' sexual trauma, lack of boundaries and emptiness/lack of self. So, how does this translate? Particularly thinking on the last point, I'd like to give my two cents about a very interesting headcanon for Equius that's been circulating a lot lately.

Equius, and gender identity.

A transfeminine reading greatly enhances the content of Equius' character, and provides a narratively satisfying character arc and means of development for them.

(From hereon out, I will be referring to Equius by the pronouns she/her).

I've seen Nekropsii sum this up beautifully, and I'll paraphrase this interpretation to the best of my ability; Equius' manifestation of masculinity is akin to a poison to her.

It makes her into a grotesque, testosterone-poisoned freak that physically cannot interact with anything around her without hurting it. It is the metaphorical confusion and fury of dysphoria made literal. It is the emptiness and lack of self that I myself can corrobate as a trans woman myself.

Masculinity is a curse for Equius. Much like quite a few other Homestuck characters (Dave & Jake come to mind), Equius really fucking hates being a guy.

So, this ties into my final point.

How I personally would have developed Equius had she been given the screentime to keep being relevant to the story.

The transfeminine character arc seems obvious. I believe that, if a person would be willing and able to tackle the more obscene and deliberately uncomfortable components of Equius' character, you could make an incredibly raw and interesting portrayal of transition and identity.

What's more; this is corroborated by Equius' closest relationship. Nepeta Leijon, the Rogue of Heart. The girl whose role indicates the ability to share identity and selfhood. Nepeta could very, very easily function as a catalyst for Equius gaining her own identity and being helped through the transition process. It makes an already STRONG and stable moirallegiance all the more interesting and heartwarming to witness.

This is not to say that Equius should not have agency herself, of course; an important part of this development would be the formulation of an independent self without debilitating outside influence. It would be allowing herself not to be consumed needlessly by Void.

Equius, and further relationship dynamics.

Equius' relationship with Gamzee (which I have always read as a one-sided kismesis) is also very important to me. This is not healthy. Equius is using Gamzee as a vessel for her fantasies and lack of boundaries, and through her black feelings she vents out her frustration with her sexuality and intrinsic need to obey and serve someone of a higher caste.

I don't think I need to tell any of you how well that works out once Gamzee goes sober. (I'd rather not dwell on the topic of the Makaras too long; that's something for a wholly separate post - and one that I'm sure would end up being rather scathing towards Hussie).

Finally, Equius' relationship with Aradia. This is also one I feel is unhealthy and once again one-sided. It is the same principle as Gamzee; merely in the red quadrant as opposed to the pitch one. Equius is using somebody as a vessel to vent out her feelings of purposelessness and frustration, and deliberately ignoring the lack of reciprocation.

Both of these connections are similar; and both of them end with Equius getting her shit kicked in.

How one would retool and treat these relationships post-character development is up to them, but I personally think it would be healthier for Equius to step away from both of them. I don't think Aradia would want or need Equius' continued presence in her life, and Gamzee is notoriously terrible at relationships. (We know damn well how a reciprocated blackrom with him turns out, just ask Terezi).

Equius, in conclusion.

That's all I really have to say on this matter; a long-winded and ultimately self-serving wall of text that I'm sure will come off as masturbatory and stupid when I read over it again. That being said, I wanted to lay all of this down in one place.

tl;dr - Equius Zahhak is a complex and interesting character with commentaries on teenage hypersexuality and unhealthy masculinity, and reading her as a trans woman provides an incredibly interesting character arc for her in the long term.

[tinystepsforward]

Okay, so this is a wild hypothetical and begging baseless speculation... but would Matt getting the boot be better for Tumblr specifically? Have unintentional knock-ons? (And thanks for all your commentary and updates!)

this is absolutely a wild hypothetical! the answer is, perhaps predictably, that it depends on who replaces him.

automattic as a whole is rotten from the top down. one of the board members is a perfect example of this: the very first female general in the US military. #girlboss, right? matt was very excited about bringing her onboard.

matt is on the board. toni, who i believe is the interim ceo and know very little about, is on the board. i would assume that any replacement ceo would be less likely to start a complete PR trashfire, but that doesn't mean that they're not still going to be making cynical, profit-based decisions.

in this economy it's very unlikely that tumblr will be staffed well enough or given enough agency to create actual lasting change for the better. but we'd at least have a ceo who isn't prone to using superadmin tools to fuck individual people over when trying to win arguments, i guess? which is not a structural win in any way, it just removes one particular volatile factor.

[inchidentally]

just me flipping out over landoscar over the past 48hrs :)

ohhh GOODDDDD the way the commentary here is already perfect but just to add!! both shuffle about and seem to do a little of their creepy unspoken communication and then both immediately slip their arms around each other at the same time before they both look over to Max at the same time. bc the slightly scary bonded little McLaren creatures need to remember the rest of the grid exists sometimes ;__;

a-amvryllis

also the fact that Oscar's growth spurt over the winter really is visible when they're stood this close

and yet he's still the same awkward recent-growth-spurts young lad that got delivered to Lando's driver's room last season. he doesn't know what to do in front of cameras and his instinct is still to have Lando dancing and sparkling like the natural star he is so that Oscar can stand just a bit behind and fulfill his own publicity quota by reacting to whatever Lando is getting up to

mecachrome

THE CHEST TAP ohhhh the way that Oscar requires very little physical touch and Lando craves it and they've just… figured it out !! Lando squeezes Oscar's shoulder, taps his arm, initiates a handshake, shuffles back a little bc Oscar's always standing just behind him, snuggles closer to him when they're in cars for the drivers parade and it's remotely cold… and taps Oscar's chest as a 'thank you'

bc for Oscar, he gets his emotional fill through his eyes. while he's perfectly content with most people to do glances and hold eye contact when someone's speaking directly to him. but his eyes l i n g e r where he's especially fond or affectionate or in love. he watches Lily when she's looking at other people, he watched Logan for when he seemed lonely or when they were talking and Logan would stare out at the crowd, and g o ddddddd does he love to watch Lando. you can track his eyes as they trace Lando's features and the way his smile responds to watching Lando's mouth.

yet there's also the way they've learned each other's ways of expressing care/affection/checking in bc Lando can trust that Oscar will be looking to him when something is awkward or unsure, and Oscar can trust that Lando will come to him and let him know how he's feeling aaaaaaand I just think that's !!!

bc no bromance, no cultivating a dynamic or relationship by blending their social lives, no performing in any way. all of their little hallmarks are the most unplanned, unintentional sweet things like the nicknames Lando accidentally started and only continued bc it makes Oscar so happy, to Oscar's hearteyes that he absolutely surely must know fandom teases him about but doesn't bother to change. them being opposites in certain things and then eerily similar in others.

all of it comes back to the way they communicate in ways everyone else has to interpret to understand - and even then it's not like we ever get to see the stuff they think and talk about behind their little privacy door and in the downtime we know they have but that isn't documented. like, I don't want to stretch too far by implying something too intense or specific but there's definitely a Their Own World kind of thing happening. whether or not it's smth they've specifically knowingly cultivated or if it's just naturally how their dynamic shakes out.

bc we all love to joke that Oscar's jealous of Carlos or Daniel or Franco - but then he brings them up on his own in friendly ways and is a very definite carlando! and ppl wanted to make a lot out of Lando openly complaining to an audience that Oscar doesn't like enough of the same thing as him so they don't hang out as much as he does other drivers he knows. but then after that they immediately start playing padel and oh it's okay now! it literally was as simple as Lando not knowing Oscar was up for padel even if golf and regular partying won't be! and that shared activities are not a defining quality of a relationship and Lando said "spends the least time with off track" about Oscar and not "likes the least" or "has the least interest in" lasfgslajgfsalf

and like, I'm always saying how of course they'll have the usual teammate fights or spats or tensions at some point! it happens! Lando is deeply ingratiated into Max V's life socially - moreso than anyone else on the grid with Lando - but they're ever so slightly on ice at the moment bc they're too similar when it comes to competitiveness. but they'll be back to normal when the season - or the WDC race - is done and finished. and nobody likes to document it for good reason but Carlos and Lando have had plenty of challenging moments and many a 'see?? we're fine!!' golf excursions or fan service videos to smooth an issue over (including the worst gifs of all time that I can't find anymore where Lando straight up looked murderous). and then ofc the "I don't feel sorry for him" Lando/Daniel DTS stuff that caused such a fandom headache. and Oscar's always had a very simple, on track the job is to win unless instructed otherwise and then off the track we interact as people not drivers. so it's fully normal to expect situations where they're not happy w each other and it shows! but it hasn't yet and that's honestly kind of weird!! esp when they don't have the big broey type of friendship that Lando's had with his other two teammates - you'd honestly expect him to feel more at ease in showing it when he's pissed off with Oscar bc there's nothing to keep up for fandom/PR sake and no messiness with shared friend groups etc to worry about. but he's cultivated an exceptionally and very pointed approach of This Is My Team and My Job/I'm Established, He Is Not Yet/I'm The Experienced One where he sees the team unity as especially important for him to publicly present and assert. like, for all he hated the idea of being the older one and no longer baby brother, he's responded to Low Maintenance Watchful Oscar in the long run as someone's he needs to take care of and whose place in the team is partly his own responsibility. he's not just one of the drivers, he's The Guy at McLaren and Oscar's extremely painful induction into the team and F1 with basically the whole world praying for his downfall was so vastly opposite to his own gradual and loving introduction that it's clear he's taking their disparities into account. a LOT. this moment being a prime example of him correcting fans because of that. and probably also an uncomfortable awareness of the segment of his own fandom who are able to inflict a special kind of hell on anyone they view as not 100% serving Lando, the object of their unhinged obsession and bias.

like, it's a side note I'll prob never be able to go too deeply into for just that reason^^ but this viewing Lando as a permanent victim whose every good deed is seen as Not Necessary and ignoring the huge differences in position within this sport and within McLaren between him and Oscar - and simply slotting Oscar into a space Carlos and Daniel held - totally undermines Lando's real life growth as a man who does understand that disparity and does appreciate that Oscar inhabits a space totally his own and nothing to do with his older, experienced teammates - and also a man who is saying and doing these things about teamwork and appreciation for Oscar in a way that responds to those differences while not remotely expecting Oscar to mimic or parrot it back because they're not equals in the sport or with the team (which makes logical sense !!) and they're not what Lando was with Carlos or Daniel. and in all the insanity I feel like this coddling, constantly pitying and victimized approach that still hearkens back to Lando being The Baby on the team - completely fails to show him appreciation for who he actually has become and what he actually does and says that is so specifically commendable and shows such growth and strength that is so admirable. the constant expectation that he's saying and doing these things in any way that expects Oscar to copy or mirror him - when their positions could not be more different or imbalanced !!!! - and ignoring the way Lando actually doesn't expect that and that he receives gratitude and appreciation from Oscar in a way that is unique to Oscar bc everyone is different !! by viewing Lando as always perfection and never in the wrong and any good deed being automatically greater than anyone else's good deed, he is cut off from authentic appreciation and praise of the individual real life complex person he actually is and that such flat, default levels of adoration will ring meaningless to him compared to people who can objectively give him praise him as objectively as they see his flaws !! and that's why Max F is his lifelong best friend above all others ! anyway !!!!!

and like. idk. part of me feels a suspicion that this private little world Lando and Oscar have - that they cultivated around the time they decided to pull a lot of their relationship off of social media and not use it for PR (apart from the bog standard team media) - is also them wisely deciding to keep their negotiation of this new front runner craziness entirely to themselves. bc of course things aren't all sunshine and roses between them all the time, but what's clear is how mutually and maturely they've approached each new bout of drama. especially considering they're so young and everyone expected that to be the downfall to Zak's plot to have two young generational talents. and EVERY time it would make perfect sense for them to snipe at each other through the press or be caught feeling cold toward each other - or someone strategically edits or crops media to make it look so - they're huddled together somewhere giggling or playing board games or sharing junk food ;__; the brain rot of stan culture threatens to destroy fandom experience for everyone else but meanwhile the objects of their obsession are sharing a conspiratorial look and grinning at each other.

like… Netflix AND an F1 reporter have quite literally goaded and begged for them to fight and hate each other and each time Oscar boldly steps forward with that cool expression and undermines the effort, with Lando literally cheering him on <3 <3

[abyssalzones]

apologies if i'm interpreting wrong, but do you not like the family aspects in gravity falls?

I enjoy the family aspects in gravity falls in terms of surface level enjoyment... but even then I do agree wholeheartedly with the post I reblogged and I think it's definitely applicable to a critical examination of the story, as it would be in Any story. mainly in terms of stan and ford's dynamic.

I've thought before about how stan's tumultuous relationship with ford really comes down to the failings of "the family" and particularly masculinity and the concept of The Family Man as a breadwinner and every time it frustrates me for what it is and intrigues me for what it potentially says as a deconstruction, even if an unintentional one. stan's core values are familial in nature, which to the audience is a purely noble goal. therefore, when stan does the things she (and I'm using she/her as always for stan because I interpret her as a trans woman) does, it's "all for this family", which is a very empathetic goal. but it's also one that snowballs into the devastating rift between her and ford: ford wanting to go to college and remove himself from The Family is implicitly depicted as a betrayal, if not to the audience then at least to stan. and yet it's perfectly understandable Why he does this if you actually examine the stan twins' childhood, which is that of two siblings being forced to compete in a black sheep/golden child dynamic in a poor household, overseen by the abusive patriarch figure that is their father. when ford refers to his dynamic with stan as "suffocating" (expecting dipper to relate), it's simultaneously insight we're meant to read as selfish and anti-family, as well as being perfectly logical. stan and ford depend on one another for survival and recognition as they deal with both the trappings of their home life and peer abuse at school- and, at the same time, are locked into their roles as "potential breadwinner" and "the fuck-up twin". would that not be suffocating? would you really feel secure trying to maintain a close relationship with your twin like that, even if you did love them?

I refer to this as a matter of masculinity because at its core the trappings of the (american, western, whatever you want to call it) family are often patriarchal in nature: everything revolves around the authority of The Father, who is succeeded by The Son. stan's lack of success in terms of bringing money to the family reflect her failures to perform as a man. the only time she begins to succeed in this role is when she's impersonating ford. (and here you can kind of see the foundations of my headcanon for her as a trans woman... but that's off topic) at the end of the day, ford's desires for agency outside of his family are punished by the story: "you care about some dumb mysteries more than your own family? well then-- you can have 'em." and this is only truly rectified when ford relents, admits the true importance of family, and gets on a boat with his twin. even if I think it's elaborated on in ways that lend itself towards a more complex story, even if I think it could work perfectly well as a deconstruction if you were to read it that way, I think this is the type of story they're trying to tell and the one that is most commonly related to by an american audience.

I say that this frustrates me because as much as I wish it were the case, I don't believe gravity falls intends to make a critical commentary on the nature of the family. I think it says a lot about how those dynamics can be strained or muddled by factors such as miscommunication, trauma, abuse, etc- but at the end of the day it's intending to be a very "familial love surpasses all" type of story. does that mean it's unwatchable garbage? not really. I obviously love the show and still enjoy familial dynamics for a lot of reasons and think there's good to come of those kinds of stories. however I also think there is a lot to be said about how dangerous the idea of "family comes first" is, both in terms of justifying violence and absolving or enabling abuse.

*note that my specifications of the structure as "american" or "western" are due purely to a lack of perspective. I'm sure there are examples of these types of trappings across various cultures I just can't confidently elaborate, and in the context of the show we're talking about a story that takes place with american characters. kind of a pointless amendment but just in case.

[dotthings]

Congrats to the fans of the wee woo show. I don’t go here but it makes me happy to witness how this arc for Evan Buckley got to bloom and I’m happy because I hope this reflects another shift in the TV industry.

For some media commentary context for you: ABC network is owned by Disney. Fox network was owned by Rupert Murdoch. So I can see how the network change for 911 can easily be a factor on how this got greenlit, after years of creator Tim Minear’s intention to work in hints, on the off chance he could take it there. (I don’t go here, but I did my reading). Oliver Stark who plays Buck also revealed he's been for it and couldn't say anything, until he was sure they could do it, until it aired and was out there. (*steeples fingers*)

For further context, Bob Iger—with George Lucas’ vocal support—just fended off a right wing coup on the Disney board from the kinds of people (like Peltz) who complain “why do we need so many female leads” “why do we need movies with all Black leads.” While it doesn’t mean Disney is no longer an evil megacorp, I’m pointing out that its CEO defended inclusive Disney brand content to the shareholders and the board, as well as dismantling the idea that it can’t be entertainment while being diverse.

The ripple of this goes outside of the wee woo show fandom. I’m seeing the joy on my dash from people who don’t watch the show or don’t watch it regularly, as well as from people who have been watching a long time and noticed things and realized there was a progression and it was there all along, and I know how much this must mean to a lot of people. With the world being how it is, with what people are facing inside the US from the far right, in their real lives.

It’s very hopeful in general for inclusion levels on a major network TV show, owned by a big evil megacorp. Representation matters.

Also I'm aware the wee woo show already had a queer couple, plus it's already an intersectional inclusive series, that’s great.

There shouldn't be limits placed on inclusion though. “But you already have X” shouldn't be weaponized to tell people to shut up. There is no “enough” or “too much” when it comes to inclusion. While I'm not for undermining the inclusion that's there, I've seen that weaponization used with a series that hasn't been great on inclusion, and I've seen that weaponization used for 911, which is. It's a sus argument.

Indirect and unintentional as it is, also bi Buck shut down every concern troll, every gaslight, every denial, every rationale I've ever seen people deploy against bi Dean. Everything from people who don’t understand what bi actual means—“but he likes girls so he can’t be bi”—to “but he wasn’t declared bi from the start of the show so he can’t”—yes he can and the wee woo show just did. On one of the original big three networks. Or people who say it would "ruin the character." Really? “But he’s an action hero”—so what? Evan Buckley is a hero, Dean is a hero, both badass action heroes. “People who see this as canon are delusional”—Evan Buckley went O RLY? Not so delusional now, is it.

Evan Buckley avenged bi Dean.

It’s self-evident. It’s right there. Different show, different network, but the concepts are familiar, the situation has a certain familiarity. This turn of events on an ABC show didn't just make bi Dean fans valid. bi Dean fans were always valid, the bi Dean reading was always valid. But I appreciate how much what happened on the wee woo show bonked people with a truth stick, about self discovery, character arcing, queer readings, queer coding, and the validity of merely noticing things.

[respectthepetty]

10 Anticipated BLs for 2024

Since I'm excited for ALL the GLs (Pluto, 23.5, Sunshine in the Wind, Chaser Game, Be Mine, y todo!), I'm making my list of the 10 BLs I'm excited for this year with brief reasons why I'm looking forward to them. In my normal fashion, I cheat my way into having more. All except one is Thai because Thailand loves to tease series three years in advance, then never make them, but I strongly believe these are coming:

The Next Prince

Zee continues to never play a poor person, and a trailer is supposed to drop in the first quarter of this year. I never knew there was so many fencers on BL Tumblr, so I'm looking forward to everyone's commentary on how well the characters poke with their sticks or whatever fencers do.

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart

It's a heist BL. It has YinWar. It has Prom x Mark. It has Bonz. It's Dee Hup House (we got beef). It's Director Tee and probably Cinematographer Jim. It might have color coding. There is not one thing I can find wrong with this series. It's perfect on paper, and I'm praying that translates well to the screen.

Spare Me Your Mercy

Like that lady in Titanic, I've been waiting 80 years for this series (give me a minute to cry about MaxTul), and it's finally near! I'm getting JJ & Tor in a Dr. Sammon piece, who I feel writes "Be Gay, Do Crime" very well, so I'll be forgiving any of these two gays' wrongs including murder, attempted murder, contemplating murder, and murdering each other in the bedroom (ahhhh!).

Wandee Goodday

Golf from The Eclipse is directing. It's about Muay Thai. It has an older doctor and a younger boxer who start off as bed friends (and I think one is actually a virgin). It has color coding. It has me already seated and waiting with popcorn, and I think it might be the first offering that will be delivered from GMMTV's 2024 lineup.

Sequels: Choco Milk Shake 2, Unintentional Love Story 2, My Doctor

Is Choco Milk Shake 2 gonna finally give me poly? Probably not, but I hope My Doctor brings the same heat the side couple did in Be Mine, Superstar, and the side couple getting the spotlight in Unintentional Love Story 2 will also make my side-couple-supremacy heart very happy this year.

Live in Love

It looks color coded. That's it. That's the reason. Keeping my expectations low because it might not get made since this is Thailand's favorite game.

Red Peafowl

The character reveals were absolute chaos, so I'm hoping that chaos transfers over to the actual series because it can either be a mess or a masterpiece, but it cannot be mediocre with Max, Cooheart, Boun, Mek, and Yacht as supports. Plus, it has color coding and a bird that is quickly becoming a Tumblr god.

Love Upon a Time

Even though it is a historical queer series, which means it could be sad, I think Domundi will keep the sass, so James' character won't be crying in the 1600s club but instead eating fruit seductively to encourage Net's character to put his homosexual skills into practice instead of simply theorizing about them, which is something I need more of. Plus, it has color coding.

Love Puzzle

This is one that might not get made because . . . Thailand. It's connected to Chains of Heart, but I don't care because the cast looks good and Poppy is gonna finally get to kiss a homie. If this doesn't get made, I will cry thug tears. It's 2024. Poppy deserves to kiss a man already.

My Stand-In

I don't understand the plot, but it doesn't matter because Pepzi and Khom are directing, and in case that means nothing, those were KinnPorsche's directors! Then, it has Up and Poom as the leads, plus a stacked supporting cast. I'm here. I'm queer. And I'm ready to be served.

Honorable Mention: Peaceful Property

It's about los espookys and features Tay and New. Will it be a QL? The streets are saying no, but all the characters are color coded, and all's I'm saying is what would be the point of color coding them if I ain't getting a BL main couple and a GL side couple? It's already canon to me.

Bonus: MosBank & JoongDunk

MosBank had like eighty projects announced for 2023, and I got NONE! Big Dragon 2, Big Dragon: The Movie, SunsetxVibes, where you at?! Y Journey: Stay Like a Local and Club Friday do not count. I don't want to watch their horror movie, but gosh darnit, if that comes out before everything else, I just might.

And I am a JoongDunk fan first, and a human second. Give my boys a gym BL already, GMMTV!

[ooooo-mcyt]

I think the way I look at DDVAU is something very hard to me, as I am autistic, and I know my opinion is probably wildly different from everyone else. I think people were too quick to play HotGuy as a villain and as a mean person in that scene. I think we were definetely supposed to see how he does have more power in that episode, because he 100% does. But as an autistic person, who definetely has seen lots of autistic trains in Scar/Hotguy, I do not think he had the intention of being so hostile towards Grian. I think HotGuy picked up on the vibe of the room, he enters and we can see Grian tensing, and he picks up on that. He knows Grian doesn't want him to be there and doesn't want to see HotGuy. In this scene, Grian hates HotGuy. So HotGuy picks up on that and puts it in his tone of voice, making him sound a bit more hostile. Which only makes Grian feel worse, which in turn makes HotGuy more hostile. It's a chain reaction. I think the thing I've noticed through all of DDVAU, is that those two simply do not know how to communicate with each other. Scar is a person who says EXACTLY what he means. There are no underlying meanings. Grian is the type of person to overthink any phase and look at and take all of those underlying meanings. There is always a conflict in communication with those two, that I think is waht causes most of their problems. I am so sorry if this whole rant doesn't make any sense at all.

This is an interesting perspective, though I don't think I can agree with the assessment that Scar was being genuine in this chapter.

I recommend reading the DDVAU editor's commentary on the most recent chapter if you haven't already! It's a fascinating read, and it's confirmation of the author intent regarding Scar's behavior in the most recent chapter!

Scar's behavior can come across as ambiguous in this chapter because he goes out of his way to bury his intention behind wording that gives him plausible deniability, but I don't think this is a situation where Scar's aggression is unintentional double meaning.

From everything we've been told about the authorial intent, Scar was very intentionally threatening in this scene, and was purposefully using subtle implications to do so while being outwardly "friendly" in other ways.

[leo-fie]

Translating fiction is a delicate balancing act to preserve the content and tone of a story without tripping up the reader or making it too complicated. It requires a deep understanding of both languages and how they are used, but also knowledge about the target demographic, what they are used to and what they put up with.

When translating Terry Pratchett, translators faced the additional challanges of the pun heavy humour and the half a dozen layers to each joke. The German translators (Andreas Bradhorst, Gerald Jung, Regina Rawlinson) have done a good job.

Example: In German there are 3 forms of politeness in the second person. Du, Sie, Ihr. There are complicated traditions about which to use for whom and under what circumstances. Ihr is very outdated and not used in everyday speech, but all over fantasy literature.

As it relates to Pratchett, introducing different levels of politeness into a work that (to my understanding) doesn't really have that in the original language, potentially introduces unintentional layers to the social commentary. The solution? No politeness! Everyone is just Du. Skips the issue and makes it more whimsical!

Example 2: Puns. As a rule, puns aren't really translateable at all because they rest on coincidences of speech (sun and son). There are lower level puns, I guess, which are just "character has a funny and/or ironic name". Those are no problem, just translate directly. Carrot Ironfoundersson can be Karotte Eisengießersohn and Samuel Vimes can be Samuel Mumm. But the gag that Karotte would "grow out of growing up"? No chance! So? Different gag! Karotte can "sich das Wachsen abgewöhnen" ("unlearn/break the habit of growing up"). Still funny.

Besides becoming an archivst or librarian, translation was the one thing I made actual academic steps towards. Even 10 years ago we feared that machine learning would make us obsolete. Ironically the first thing you learn about translation is also the reason machines will never be as good as a person (see above). My disabilities and the discrimination thereof made it impossible for me to persue any officially recognized apprenticeship or degree sadly. But I won't forget what I learned.

[bluejayblueskies]

i'm relistening to s4 of rqg for the sixth? seventh? time, and something that's striking me particularly hard on this relisten is the lack of understanding azu, hamid, and cel have of the particular way in which zolf handles his emotions and grieves.

on a basic level, hamid, azu, and cel are people who prefer to talk through their emotions and who combat tragedy and grief with love and companionship and positivity. cel in particular is presented as a character who, by virtue of having lived for many years and experienced many tragedies, has a good handle on their own emotions. zolf, by contrast, is extremely private with his emotions. he responds to grief and tragedy by pushing through it, becoming very businesslike and prioritizing the mission and whatever project he's currently focusing on.

neither of these approaches is correct or incorrect, and i don't think the story is trying to tell us (at least, on purpose) that one approach is better than the other. however, it strikes me (and, admittedly, frustrates me) that characters who are presented as being very empathetic and understanding of other people's feelings (azu) or characters who are presented as being worldly, learned, and extremely courteous of other people's cultures or worldviews (cel) nevertheless don't appear to make an effort to meet zolf where he's at, or even understand that he is reacting to 18 months of living in a pandemic hellscape and losing a dear friend (sasha) by hardening himself and pushing on.

i think this is partially a consequence of having three "talk it out" characters vs. one "just keep moving forward" character on a team. i think it's also an interesting commentary on how azu, hamid, and cel's empathy and kindness can be shortsighted and imperfect when it comes to somebody who processes emotion in a way they don't understand. (if perhaps an unintentional commentary; it often feels like zolf is meant to be "in the wrong" in the narrative, given he's the one always made to apologize for being "grumpy" rather than the other party members acknowledging that they just don't seem to connect with his particular brand of processing grief and trauma. nevertheless, it's an interesting character flaw that i think azu, hamid, and cel share--a sort of blind spot in their perceptions of their own compassion and understanding of other people, where they simply. don't understand zolf and his grief in the slightest and in fact don't even recognize that there's something they're not understanding.)

(relatedly, this is why i think wilde's presence is absolutely crucial to zolf's wellbeing throughout s4 and the endgame arc. wilde is the only person who is really willing to meet zolf where he's at, and perhaps in fact the only person who genuinely understands why zolf is the way he is and will let him just be the way that he is without pushing for more or punishing him for it. the connections zolf lacks with the other party members, he has with wilde, and i think when dealing with a world that is falling apart around him, he desperately needs somebody in his corner.)

[cerastes]

I don’t particularly care about the script lore of a game I don’t play anymore (for now, probably will hop back in for the next big iteration), but specifically knowing Zenos exists on this wavelength of thought so, so far removed from everyone else’s, and that he’s very much meant to be what would actually happen if some freak barged into your life and called you their one and only and now you have to deal with it, that’s really damn good, I feel it concisely validates exactly how I feel about the writing in FFXIV: Who The Hell Are You People, Stop Getting Chummy With Me.

So Zenos being this, But Actually This, while most definitely unintentional, feels to me like the game making commentary at its own habits, except the “found” “family” is a weirdo that found you and he’s also mostly impervious to damage and has a comprehensive mastery of the martial arts. He decided that you two are halves of a fucked up cookie, and that the cookie must be made whole. Your reaction to this can very understandably be that of reciprocation to this not-very-subtly horny dynamic, but it also means that the response of “Who The FUCK Are You? Why Are You Acting Like This?” is also very valid, and it feels like it validates my personal preference as well as my personal gripes with the writing in FFXIV in a very satisfying manner, literally giving me a 7 foot tall incarnation of over-familiarity to beat the absolute shit out of… And due to that, to be able to paradoxically enjoy his presence far more, because it paints all of his interactions and cutscenes, with or without My Character, as the behavior of someone legitimately off-putting and obstinate.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Because I read the tags - would you be willing to share more about that explicit curriculum for unlearning shame about questions? It sounds very cool!

I'm happy to try!

So, I work for a healthcare practice, and am the lead supervisory staff for the internship program these days (because apparently I have "leadership qualities" like "patience" and "enthusiasm for answering questions" and "a strengths-based teaching style"). Those who know me may understand that this is a choice I make under very specific circumstances as a psychiatric abolitionist because even if you can't change a system from the inside, until external changes are fully implemented, there are still people who need and deserve support from an extent system.

This means that an enormous portion of my curriculum with interns is "what it means to be someone in the position of wielding state power" and how to analyze and decomstruct systems of hierarchy. Because if there's one thing I will not do, it's sign off on a future mental health care provider who hasn't been comprehensively exposed to anti-psych conversations and anchored to "patient-led" communities and ethical critiques.

Within the first four weeks, we have the following lessons as a group:

Week 1: we are in positions of state-reinforced authority, and because of that I am going to ask you to be as vulnerable and open in our group work space as you want/expect your patient's to be. If you cannot do that, I cannot help you. Because we operate in a telehealth capacity, it is UP TO YOU to tell me when you need help because while I can "swing by" and check in with you, I fundamentally cannot notice from 6hrs away that you need help. This is not a role in which you can afford to feel ashamed of needing help, because shane leads to avoidance and avoidance leads to unintentional preventable harm, and if this is REALLY what you want to do, you need to take that seriously

Week 2: what does "learning to fail safely" look like for you? How do you recognize when you are failing/have failed and how do you take a functional look at how that went down without personalizing/internalizing any commentary about yourself from the experience (how can you learn to hold yourself and others in unconditional regard without sacrificing safety, boundaries, or needs of well-being)? What thoughts intrude in your mind when you have made a mistake or realize you don't know what to do? Until we understand how to help you actually hear what failure has to tell you about the path to success, the shoulds and shouldn'ts will control your decisions in ways you probably won't even notice. Who and how were you taught to feel ashamed of needing a period of adjustment/learning curve when interacting with a new skill or idea? What function does that shane serve for you?

Week 3: what is your actual learning process? Like specifically, i don't care WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW i care HOW YOU CAME TO "KNOW" WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW. Knowledge is inherently contextual and subjective. Are you aware of how that cookie crumbles for you specifically? Able to see both where you may be internalizing information you don't mean to and how you go about intentionally adding to or changing your knowledge? Where could this process change or improve or be adaptable in non-ideal circumstances?

Week 4: what skills do YOU think you are strong in? Which are still feeling vulnerable? Lets learn how you internalize/cultivate feelings like security, stability, confidence, compassion, etc. Lets talk about how to "self-reflect" without "self-interrogation/self-doubt" and how to sit in uncomfortable tense realities that need reconciled or processed. How do you let multiple things with overlapping conflicted areas be true at once?

Week 5: lets learn HOW to ask questions. In part we do this by introducing "case consultation" where an intern comes into group, describes a hypothetical (or real and fully anonymized) situation and asks for the group's thoughts on any dilemmas or uncertainties you see. But in part it's also about how *I* answer their questions. Because I don't "answer them" for the most part. I let the other interns answer directly, and I exclusively either INTERROGATE THE QUESTION ITSELF (why are you asking x and not y in this case? How have you heard the person discuss this related component? What are YOU feeling and how is it motivating the choices you're making and the options you're considering? What do you know already about this symptom/experience you are describing? That sort of thing) or I provide first person narratives from past clients, colleagues, and intra-communal conversations that may offer context and compassion for where that person is and WHY they are there.

Week 6: learn how to give feedback. What is criticism actually? What's the difference between "speaking a difficult truth" and "being cruel or inappropriate" or between "helping someone find language to communicate their experiences/needs" vs "putting words in someone's mouth". How do you find feedback easier or harder to provide? How do you provide it in ways that maintain accountability while mitigating feelings of defensiveness or rejection from the other party? What does it mean for feedback to be CONSTRUCTIVE and how do you decide to prioritize functional guidance to a peer? How do you root out the desire to "go easy" on peers in the field when they make choices or take actions that are harmful or unacceptable? How do you help each other grow in ways that DO NOT rely on or reinforce shame.

Week 7-14: start demonstrating to me your understanding of these concepts by assuming gradually increasing levels of personal and group responsibility for A) your personal learning, B) the learning/growth of your peers, and C) the form that the internship programming takes in order to acheive the above desired functions

Essentially, those first 6 weeks are heavy on really explicit and visible cognitive untangling of your processes as a person and as a professional, and then the remaining weeks are about building confidence/mastery in these processes such that by term 2 [weeks 15-28] I'm only a facilitator, not a teacher, and by term 3 [weeks 29-42] you should be assuming a teaching role for the new first-term interns. I am here to help you trouble shoot these processes until you feel confident in both cultivation of your OWN self-concept and skills, AND the support/facilitation of OTHERS' self-concept and skills.

We talk a lot about the inherent value of every voice, even in voices we fundamentally disagree with in every way, because communication is still communication even when we don't like or agree with what's being communicated, and understanding how to act on that mechanism with others around you is often a huge part of learning not to feel ashamed of the space you take up in the world, including the space of practicing a new skill or activity.

Conceptually, it seems really straightforward, but we meet probably at least once a day for at least an hour to do this stuff, and we do that for a YEAR, and by the end of it, we have a solid floor of self-esteem and security in the idea of imperfect enactment of human life being inherently valuable regardless of what comes next. It's a lifelong thing for sure tho. I organize these same talks as a continuum for past interns who have become staff and current internship supervisors helping the interns develop their skills, and while our conversations can often have different forms, they are often very similar if not identical in our goals. So like. Straightforward or not, this isn't easy or fast, and I try to emphasize as much as possible that it is also an endless process, not an outcome based static state we can one day acheive. So part of the process also needs to be learning how not to hate or be ashamed of past us no matter how much we had to grow away from past us. That shame will always keep us locked in that little bit of threat around change unless we are consistent with ourselves in kicking it to the curb when it shows up.

I will say, that this is a curriculum I can do because it is a small group (no more than 5 interns per group with 1-2 facilitators) that allows us to pivot and customize the bones of it as needed. I doubt it would function the same way alone or in a large group setting, but I imagine the principles of it could still be helpful in finding what IS functional in those circumstances

[lolliputian]

Some ramblings on the Tieflings' appearances...

Weirdly enough, this is inspired upon by a comment on a DNDBeyond Facebook post.

There's a book in a few places in the game (most notably Zevlor's area of the Grove) that reference the ritual that Asmodeus and his warlocks did after the Spellplague, which cursed all Tieflings to appear more in his image. Prior to that, my understanding is that Tieflings more closely resembled humans. (Doric from the D&D movie is a good example.)

Many, but not all, of WotC's official artwork in the books show Tieflings with their horns beginning at the brow line, extra growth on the chin to mimic a beard, bumps around their eyes or cheek bones, etc. Many players choose to omit those features in their Tieflings' appearances in their home D&D games. Which leads me to what spurned this ramble: the post I reference showed an old Tiefling woman with obvious protrusions on her brow line and cheeks. The commenter on the post hinted that this was what "old Tieflings used to look like" before everyone decided to make them hot. (To which I say: lulz okay nerd, let people make hot Tieflings.)

Who is the ONLY Tiefling in BG3 who has obvious extra definition to the brow and cheekbones? This handsome fella...

...who is the "old one." Which, admittedly, cracked me up. I'd personally argue that the ridges make him look older than the wrinkles would suggest, but that's neither here nor there.

Now, granted, the fact that the Tieflings aren't more varied in their appearances in the game makes complete sense. Larian could only use so many different facial models when they're giving a set amount to the player, and it's not worth their time to give every NPC a unique face when they could add a lot of variation using the character selection presets.

But we CAN look at the other two unique NPC Tiefling models, Rolan and Dammon:

Dammon's got the more pronounced brow area, which at the very least the face model that Danis and Damays use also share. Both of them also have more pronounced cheekbones that could hint at their infernal ancestry. For me, it's been less obvious on Dammon than it is Rolan; in certain lights in the game, it VERY much looks like his protrude more than normal. I notice it less often with Dammon. Granted, in both their cases, maybe they just have really excellent bone structure, and I'm reading too much into their character models. (Reading too much into things? On TUMBLR? Nah, never happens.) Regardless, two male characters younger than Zevlor don't have as many obvious infernal features, which is an undoubtedly unintentional but still funny call back to "old Tieflings" versus "new Tieflings."

Also consider that Karlach does not share these facial protrusions that the male characters have/seem to have. (I don't think any of the female Tieflings do, and there's some commentary to be had with that, but I digress.)

But who DOES get some extra infernal features in addition to the horns? Wyll. Who is not a Tiefling, but go with it.

For shits and giggles, Mizora and Raphael also have smoother facial features:

Again, I completely understand why most of the NPCs were generic face models for practical reasons. But it is interesting they only gave Zevlor the "traditional" 4e/5e Tiefling look.

What are your thoughts? Or theories, even? Let me hear them!