#the comment section was a jumpscare & a half

[daenerystemper]

i feel like there's a lot to unpack here. i thought it was satire but after reading the comments i do not think its satire. "annoying arya minion" ok bestie 😭

[beomiracles]

where they would take you for a date

pairings: ot5xafab!reader warnings: none, pure fluff, taehyun's might be a littleeee suggestive toward the end.

  YEONJUN – market date 

loves to spoil you, and what better way to do it than to go out shopping? 

he takes you to a large market with various small stands containing everything from food to clothes, jewelry, furniture, flowers and perfumes. 

lets you pick anything and everything you want. 

will buy anything your eyes linger on for a little too long without you having to ask. 

a big fan of getting matching things for the two of you, whether it be clothes or accessories, he wants it all. 

The small town square is crowded with people as they all move around the various small stands. Latched on to your boyfriend’s side, Yeonjun swiftly maneuvers you through the crowd. His arms are already filled with bags full of clothes and jewelry as well as a bouquet of flowers that he had insisted on getting you, his words, “you like pink, these are pink, i’m getting them for you”. 

A particularly small stand appears in front of you, the small table is filled with pearly bracelets and necklaces, glinting in the sun they immediately catch your attention. An elderly woman appears to be running the stand and she looks up as the two of you approach her. Giving you a warm welcome as Yeonjun goes on to make small talk with her while you look through the wide range of jewelry she had to offer. It always amazed you how easy and naturally your boyfriend could connect with people, it was something you greatly admired him for. 

Your hands graze along a section of chunkier bracelets, they were decorated with pink gems in all shades. Yeonjun is quick to notice your gaze, “you want em’?” he asks, already bringing out his wallet. You shake your head, “I… I don’t know yet, I mean I like them..” you say somewhat hesitantly, he had already spent so much on you today. “They are pretty indeed”, the elderly lady said, “they would suit you well”. Your boyfriend is quick to agree and you consider it for a moment before nodding, “alright..”. 

Your gaze wanders over a couple of earrings along with a few necklaces, not going unnoticed by Yeonjun who is quick to point at them and ask their price. The woman chuckles “you might as well buy your lady the whole table at this rate”, Yeonjun raises his eyebrows, “that’s possible?” You’re quick to give his shoulder a slap, “don’t be ridiculous”. You end up getting a pair of flower earrings along with matching necklaces as well. On the way back your boyfriend complains about you not letting him go through with buying the whole table of jewellery to which you make him know that he’s utterly stupid sometimes, though you still love him. 

SOOBIN – movie date 

very much a classic type of guy, so he takes you to the movies at least once a month. 

he’s not always talkative and much prefers to sit in a comfortable silence with you as you enjoy a movie together. 

100% pretends to yawn so that he can swing an arm around your shoulders, will continue to do this no matter how long you guys have dated. 

plays with your hair and feeds you popcorn. 

steals glances at you whenever he thinks you’re not looking, probably misses half the movie because he’s so busy staring at you. 

Popcorn and drink in hand the two of you make your way down the aisles of the movie theater. Finding your usual favorite seats somewhere in the middle. Not even halfway through the commercials and half of your popcorn is gone. “You won’t have anything left for the movie if you keep that up”, Soobin comments, earning him a sharp glare from you. Your boyfriend clears his throat as he rubs the back of his neck, “I- I’ll go get us some more of course..” You smile and give his cheek a quick peck, “thank you, baby”. 

It’s about five minutes into the movie when Soobin realizes it’s a horror movie you’ve gotten him to watch with you. The first jumpscare has him practically flying out of his seat and you have to fight to hold back the laugh threatening to consume you. “I thought you said it was an.. an action movie!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes, “well…it sort of has action in it”. Soobin shakes his head, “this is not the kind of action I can stomach”, he says, you glance over at him and he looks almost as if he’s about to throw up, you do feel a little bad. 

Trying to soothe the damage you’ve caused you occasionally pretend to jump at the most obvious scares. Hiding your face in your boyfriend’s neck as you pull him closer. The small smile on Soobin’s face when you hug yourself closer to him makes it all worth it though. His long fingers thread through your hair softly as he makes small disgusted comments about the gore of the movie. You think it’s funny how different tastes the two of you have when it comes to movies, one thing you share though, the love for the cinematic experience. Despite the movie having his stomach almost turn on itself Soobin would’ve sat through a hundred movies like this one as long as he had you by his side. 

BEOMGYU – guitar date

beomgyu prefers to stay in rather than going out while he shows you the music he’s been working on. 

invites you over to his place, you guys order food and eat it on his bed before he brings out his guitar. 

plays everything from your favorite songs to short chords of pieces he’s made for you. 

might teach you how to play a string or two if you ask. 

on rare occasions he sings to you as well. 

Dressed in pajamas you sit on your boyfriend’s bed as a soft tune fills the room. Beomgyu sits in front of you, guitar propped up on one of his knees as his fingers graze along the strings. His hair falls down over his face as he concentrates on the instrument in front of him, quietly humming along. The gentle song makes you drowsy and you struggle to keep your eyes open. 

Laying down on the mattress you look up at your boyfriend who gives you a puzzled look. “..keep playing..”, you mumble as your eyes flutter closed. Beomgyu chuckles above you as he readjusts his fingers on the guitar, playing a different song this time. You don’t recognize the melody, it’s pleasant, slow, calm but filled with something you can’t entirely place. “This is a new one..” you say without opening your eyes. Beomgyu hums, “it’s a lullaby”. 

You open one of your eyes to squint up at him, “a lullaby?” you ask. He nods as he keeps playing, “you always seem to get so sleepy when I play, thought I’d make you an actual lullaby then”. His words make your heart flutter as you close your eyes, “it’s perfect”, you whisper. Beomgyu smiles as he keeps on playing, “it doesn’t have any lyrics yet…” he says as the melody slowly comes to an end. 

You glance up at him, “I’m sure they’ll come to you, your mind is extraordinary”, you smile as your boyfriend gives you a shy look. He shakes his head, “I was thinkin’..” he says as he runs a hand through his hair, “we could maybe do them together?” he grins down at you, “I mean it’s your song too after all”. Unable to help the blush that makes its way to your face you nod, “I would like that”, you play with the guitar strings lightly, “and I’ll expect you to sing it to me every night”. Beomgyu’s hand finds your hair as he fiddles with the soft strands, “every night for as long as you want me to”, he agrees. 

 TAEHYUN ─ cooking date

this man knows how to cook, will definitely want to show off his skills to you. 

has you watch him while he prepares food. 

you ask him somewhat silly questions about what he's doing but he gladly answers them. 

lets you taste everything as he cooks, one hand under the spoon to catch anything that spills as he feeds you the spoonful. 

will cook anything you ask him to. 

Propped up neatly on the countertop you watch closely as your boyfriend cooks dinner for the two of you. Earlier you'd suggested just ordering in something to eat but Taehyun insisted that he cooked for you. You certainly didn't mind, your boyfriend was a great chef and getting to watch the way his arms flexed slightly as he flipped the meat in the pan.. ─ well it was certainly a bonus. 

"What's that for?" you ask as he adds an odd looking green plant to the meat. "Rosemary", Taehyun says, focused on the food in front of him, he cuts off another piece and hands it to you, "smell it". You do as he says, nose scrunching up at the distinct smell. Taehyun chuckles at your reaction, "it enhances the flavor of the steak", he explains as he turns his attention to the sauce cooking on the stove next to the pan. 

You nod and the sweet aroma that soon fills the kitchen makes your stomach rumble. "How much longer?" you whine, your hunger getting to you. Taehyun dismisses your tone, "five more minutes or so", he turns off the stove and sets the sauce aside, giving it a few more stirs. He brings out a spoon and scoops up a bit of sauce on it, bringing it to your lips, "taste it". 

The sauce tastes heavenly and you nod encouragingly as you swallow, "it's perfect! … can we eat now..?" your boyfriend nods and you swing yourself off the counter. Quickly setting the table, not forgetting to light a small candle, "oh by the way, dessert is on me", you say, Taehyun turns to look at you as he raises an eyebrow, "really? and what would that be?" Giggling, you walk up to him and give his cheek a quick peck, "that's for you to find out". 

HUENINGKAI ─ arcade date 

he loves gaming, him going to an arcade would be like bringing a kid to a candy store. 

would want to bring you so he could show off to you. 

showing you how to play certain games, you on his lap as he guides you through the game. 

he would probably let you win too, anything to see you smile. 

wins plushies for you (and himself, this man has an obsession with them). 

Hueningkai practically drags you through the large glass doors and into the arcade hall. “Come on now”, he giggles as the two of you make your way through endless game stations. You groan involuntarily as you let your boyfriend pull you down by a car game, it had a driver's seat, a steering wheel accompanied by pedals on the floor. “Alright, I’ll show you how to play and then you’ll have a go, okay?” he smiles, already paying to get the game up and going. You weren’t exactly a fan of video games but you did your best to show interest in your boyfriend's hobbies. 

You watch as Huening plays, he’s good you’ll give him that, one hand on the wheel as he skillfully maneuvers past the other cars. When he’s won he turns to look at you with a grin and you feel yourself smiling. “Your turn”, he says as he pulls you onto his lap without warning. “Huening”, you whine, “I don’t know…I’m not good at..”, your boyfriend cuts you off with a quick kiss to your lips. “You’ll do fine, just keep your eyes on the game, hands on the wheel and I’ll control the pedals, yeah?” 

It turns out you’re not completely hopeless, with your boyfriend's hand on your waist and the other on top of yours on the wheel, you manage a third place. Huening is quick to praise you with kisses which you accept with a giggle. The two of you play various games and your boyfriend flaunts his talents as he manages to not only win you some chocolate but a fluffy penguin plushie. You hug the plushie tightly, as you make your way toward the exit, “I think I’ll name him Huening Junior”, you say, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend, “whatever my girlfriend wants”. 

→ want to get notified whenever a new dream is published? join my TAGLIST ★ all rights reserved ─ @beomiracles 2024

[beautifulblooms]

Ghost and König music Headcanons, male reader

I have no clue where this came from but I have come up with some really crack based Headcanons about their music listening habits, enjoy

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Ghost

blasts his music to the heavens

And half the time has semi-busted headphones so anyone close to him can hear it too

There are a few good pairs where you can’t hear anything when he uses them, but he always forgets which ones are good and ends up grabbing a bad pair every time

Several occasions that play out like this:

Sitting in the training room, Ghost was taking a break from training and leaning his head against the wall while sitting on a bench. Soap and Gaz were sparring when they heard something absolutely blasting from Ghost’s headphones but were 100% sure it couldn’t have been him. They weren’t sure what it was but it sounded like some really girly pop. You walked into the training room to find Ghost and realized what was happening you very quickly ran over to him. Pausing his music, pulling the headphones out and switching them with the pair you had as you realized he’s been blasting his “personal” playlist in the middle of the training room.

“You’re lucky I found you before they realized it was you playing that”. Pressing play on his music again you went to your room to grab a new pair out of the good pairs pile, testing them before you left for training again. Let’s just say Ghost has since gotten buckets to keep track of the semi-broken pairs.

König

Sweet, sweet Austrian boy

He’s deaf as shit because of him blasting music

Literally has the best pair of headphones and makes sure no one can hear what he listens to

But god damn is he now almost deaf from blasting it during training and off time

Several times of accidentally jump scaring him because he can not hear footsteps at all

Walking through the base, you were trying to find König, he had forgotten his balaclava in your room, and you knew full well that while he was mostly okay with the team seeing his face, he still preferred to wear it. Finding him in the mess hall kitchen he was making a snack with his headphones on. Trying to call out to him didn’t work so you walked up behind him and tapped him on his shoulder. If you’ve never seen a 6’10 man jump from getting scared you sure have now. He drops the tool in his hand and turns around like he has quite literally seen a ghost.

“Sheiße liebe! You scared me!” He pulled his headphones off as he looked down at you.

“You forgot your balaclava Meine liebe, here” handing it to him I moved to a different section of the counter to sit on top of it and wait for him to be done.

“You really have got to stop blasting your music like that, if I can jumpscare you after yelling your name you are definitely gonna get scared by other people too” he looked at you sheepishly at your comment, going back to making his snack while he really did consider if the heart attack was worth the loud music.

[sunglassesmish]

in general i doubt networks care too much about what the fandom thinks of things but they might be trying to avoid the comment sections of their posts becoming cesspits by not including stuff about lou. like i can’t imagine it would be a great impression of the show if some random person came across one of the official 911 insta posts and the comments were half “kill tommy!!!” and the post is about like. bees or something. but i might be projecting lol

yeah 😬 i saw a gif of bucktommy’s first kiss was posted on this mlm twitter account today, and one of the comments was ‘jumpscare’. 🫤 i can’t imagine how something that shows him in s8 of the show would make people react in the comments.

[silverybees]

Flicked through a book about Supernatural that I spotted in the new release section at the library, and got a Tumblr memes reference and Johnlock jumpscare for good measure.

Yet, in a surprising turn, the antepenultimate episode of the series featured a confession from Castiel as to what constituted his definition of love and happiness: Dean….

That this was immediately followed by Castiel's disappearance into an afterlife (the angelic equivalent of death) does fall into what's known as the "bury your gays" trope, and yet commentators were quick to (half-jokingly) tie in the confirmation of this pairing to then presidential candidate Joe Biden's lead in Georgia and advances in the COVID-19 vaccine trials, suggesting that the scene "saved 2020 and reset the timeline."

[babyspacebatclone]

Seconded! I just watched ManlyBadassHero play through Chapter 1.

My first thoughts five minutes in was “Oh, this is charming.” Half way through I checked out the comment section, and three guesses what the most common word people were using. 😊

I’ve been a viewer of mascot horror from literally the og Five Nights at Freddy’s in 2014, and wow it really has been a decade huh?? (context: I was 34 back the …)

This game feels like a fellow long-time fan of the genre taking everything I personally love about it, and applying honest logical consideration about how things should proceed.

The team explicitly calls this a passion project, and unlike the current crop of mascot horror (looking at you Poppy Playtime merch), it feels like it every second.

Rambly Raccoon feels like an AI programmed to be helpful, loyal to the park (and it’s controllers), but also demonstrate an earnest connection with the park attendees.

He has more personality than the entire robotic cast of FNaF: Security Breach combined, and this is more a commentary on the excellent writing and performance of Rambly than inherently a knock on FNaF:SB.

The second he introduces Lloyd, for example, just feels so refreshing and - human. It establishes a history and characterization for the AI guide that seems so natural and effortless, but nevertheless is so hard to achieve.

The best comparison I have to other games in the genre is My Friendly Neighborhood, but in my (very humble and potentially not shared, no insult there) opinion even more charming.

Just - that first death screen is so unique and really impressed me.

It says the game isn’t about horror, being the antithesis of a jump scare, but to me speaks greatly towards a respect for the player and their intelligence. It feels in-universe, and not something you dismiss as quickly as the FNaF style jumpscares (as seen by how quickly they lose impact when hunting custom nights, for example).

As the ending song definitely solidifies, the best game to compare the writing and narrative depth to is actually Portal.

I am personally floored and enamored by this game - Chapter 1 is free to play on Steam - and will be following UniqueGeese and his team as they work towards getting the rest of the chapters out.

If they can maintain this level of narrative quality, I foresee this becoming a gem of indy games in general (like What Remains of Edith Finch), let alone of the mascot morror genre.

INDIGO PARK IS SO GOOD, EVERYONE GO SUPPORT THE CREATOR!!!

[hollywoodxwhore]

wanted - part 5

Colson x Original Female Character x Pete

The moment you've all been waiting for...SMUT!!!

Warnings: Smut (18+), swearing, mentions of drug usage, insecurity, hand job, fingering

Here's the next chapter y'all! The smut is between Pete and Alex. Hope you enjoy!

The magic of the first night vanishes when the sun rises, and Colson goes back to acting like I don’t exist.

The rest of the weekend, he doesn’t come near me. Doesn’t speak to me unless it’s necessary, sits far from me at the campfire, and every time I look at him, he’s never looking back at me. I try not to let it get to me, but I just don’t understand why he’s so hot and cold. 

I wasn’t drunk enough to hallucinate him wrapping my legs around his waist in the water the first night. He was all over me, pulling me up to the surface when Sophie knocked me down, hugging me when we were done. Is he mad I chose to sleep with Pete? It wasn’t even my choice - Slim chose his spot before I could. 

By the time we all pack up and head home, I’m ready for some quiet time in my apartment alone, without all of this confusion. After a long shower, I throw in some laundry, make a cup of coffee, and curl up on my couch with my laptop. I manage to write another chapter and a half, but that’s all I can manage. My mind is racing. 

Pete. The sweetest, funniest, most genuine guy I think I’ve ever met. He doesn’t make me feel like the reject I’ve been my whole life. He actually enjoys being around me and always makes a point to include me in the conversation. He’s handsome, too. Those warm, brown eyes and that smile. His voice, his little accent. His height, so safe and comforting when he hugs me. The way he lets me rest my head on his shoulder while we sit next to each other. But he hasn’t made a move.

And then, there’s Colson. Friendly and funny one moment, sour and cold the next. He switches moods so quickly that it’s dizzying. Rude comments. Leaving me out of the conversation. The polar opposite of Pete, most of the time. But every once in a while, he does focus on me. I’ll catch his eyes on me, or he’ll actually sit by me and initiate conversation. 

I’m exhausted from trying to figure this out. Does it even matter how I feel? I won’t make a move on either of them, and it doesn’t seem like they’re going to make any moves on me. I guess I’m just stuck.

Pete invites me to the house for a movie night, telling me to dress comfy. I show up with popcorn and candy, greeting the small group that’s on the couch. Pete, Rook, Alicia, Sophie, and Logan. No Colson, Justin, Slim, or Baze. Colson’s actually out of town, but I don’t know where the others are. This is fine. Without Colson, I can fully relax.

Logan and Sophie are on one end of the sectional, Rook and Alicia on the other, and Pete’s sprawled out right in the middle, looking way too cute in a pair of sweats and a soft hoodie. He pats the spot on the couch beside him and I sit, curling my legs beneath me. 

“It’s good to see you,” Pete says, giving me a one-armed hug. I haven’t seen any of them, except for Sophie and Alicia in class, since last weekend’s camping trip. I missed them all, especially Pete.

“Thanks for the invite,” I say, resting my head on his shoulder. 

Alicia and Rook decide on a scary movie and Pete groans audibly beside me. I look at him with a raised brow and he smiles sheepishly. “I hate scary movies,” he admits. “True crime shows and shit like that are great. But I hate jumpscares.”

“Aw, are you scared, Petey?” I tease, poking his stomach.

“This movie is scary as shit,” Pete insists. He’s not wrong. The Conjuring is one of my favorites, but it’s definitely scary.

“I’ll protect you,” I insist, patting his thigh.

“You better,” Pete says with a little pout. 

The movie begins and we’re all focused on the opening scenes, introducing the family and the new house. At one point, it starts to get a little eerie, and Pete pulls my legs over his lap. I scoot a little closer, resting my head on his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me before pulling a blanket over us. At the first jumpscare, I stifle a giggle as Pete jerks beneath me, tucking his face into my hair for a moment. 

“You okay?” I whisper, and he nods, but he squeezes me a little tighter. 

After a while, I notice Pete and I are the only ones still watching. Both of the couples are making out. I nudge Pete, gesturing at our friends, and he snickers. “Should we fuck with them?” he whispers.

“Nah,” I say after a moment. “Let them enjoy it.”

“Do you want to go hang out in my room so we don’t have to whisper?” he asks, and I nod. We get up, carefully stepping over Alicia and Rook, but they have no idea that we’ve even moved. We tiptoe down the hall into Pete’s room, and he shuts the door behind us. 

I throw myself onto his comfy bed, sighing contentedly at the pillowtop mattress that greets me. I roll onto my back. “This is a great bed, Davidson,” I say.

“Yeah, it’s why I skip class so much,” he says, plopping down beside me. We lie in silence for a few moments and out of the corner of my eye, I see Pete’s head roll over so he can look at me. “Can I ask you a question?” he asks.

“Sure,” I say, looking over at him. 

Pete rolls his teeth over his plump bottom lip. “How come you’re single?” he asks.

I’m taken aback by the question and I look away, staring at the ceiling instead. “I don’t quite know how to answer that,” I admit tightly.

“Okay. Sorry,” Pete says.

I shake my head and pat his hand. “No. Don’t be,” I say. “I guess…it’s not really my choice, I mean.”

Pete frowns. “What do you mean?”

I swallow hard. Am I going to let myself be vulnerable around him? I do trust Pete. He’s kind and nonjudgmental. I doubt he’d be the kind to make me feel shitty about it. Finally, I roll onto my side to face him and he mimics my body language. 

“No one’s ever really wanted me, I guess,” I admit. “I’ve never had a guy pursue me.”

Pete’s frown deepens. “How is that possible?”

I laugh humorlessly. “That’s what Sophie and Alicia say,” I tell him. I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I even want a boyfriend. It’s too scary.”

Pete nods. “I get that,” he says quietly.

“Why are you single?” I ask.

Pete shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. “I have some mental health shit and it makes relationships hard.”

I nod, getting that. “You don’t want to feel like a burden,” I say knowingly.

“Exactly.”

I sigh. “For the right person, Pete,” I say, reaching out to gently touch his face, “you won’t be.”

Pete’s eyelashes flutter at my touch, and slowly, his hand comes up to cover mine. We stare at each other for a long few moments, my heart thumping in my chest, and then, he kisses me. 

For a moment, it’s like time is suspended, like we’re not even really here. Like we’re hovering above ourselves. But then reality rushes in and yes, I’m kissing Pete Davidson, my friend who may or may not have a crush on me but who I definitely have a crush on. My head spins in the best way.

After a few moments, Pete’s lips part with mine, and it’s like our mouths know exactly what to do with one another. The kiss is effortless and I feel heat settle low in my stomach. Pete’s big hand slides down my waist, tugging me closer, and I go, wrapping my arm around his waist. His hand moves up to cup my face, holding me closer, but he’s not close enough. 

I give his shoulder a gentle push and he moves onto his back, helping to guide me into his lap. We break the kiss for a moment and I just look at him, his heavily lidded eyes, his flushed cheeks. The little smile on his lips before he’s craning his neck to kiss me again. His hands are in my hair and his hips are lifting into mine and I whimper into his mouth. 

“Is this okay?” he whispers, but he barely finishes his sentence because my lips are crashing into his again. I’m desperate to be touched, heart pounding so hard it’s almost nauseating, and I can’t bear for him to stop. Luckily, he doesn’t, and as big hands slide down my back to cup my ass, my entire life comes to a head at this moment where finally, finally, I feel wanted.

Our kisses grow deeper and more passionate, his teeth grazing my lip and my tongue flicking against his. He squeezes my ass firmly, bringing my hips tight to his every time he does so that I can feel him gradually stiffen beneath me. As I grind myself into him, I can feel that he’s big and my stomach lurches with nerves. Pete has no idea that I’m basically a virgin.

I finally break the kiss, heart racing, but this time, it’s with nerves. Pete’s brow furrows and his hands move from my ass to my waist. “You okay?” he asks.

I nod and bite my lip. “I just…you should know…I’ve only had sex with one person and it was one time, about a year ago.”

Pete blinks, then nods. “Okay,” he says. “Do you want to stop?”

“No!” I insist so eagerly that my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “No,” I repeat more calmly. “I just want you to know because…because I…”

“Alex?” Pete asks, voice gentle.

“Because I might be bad at whatever we do,” I blurt finally, feeling like such an idiot.

Pete studies my face for a moment, and then I lose my breath as he flips us so I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me, his eyes fixed on mine. “Alex,” he says again, hand coming up to my face. His thumb grazes my bottom lip. “I don’t care how far we go as long as I get to be close to you. Please don’t be nervous or doubt yourself.”

I swallow hard, studying his face. Maybe he just wants to sleep with me. But no, Pete is a good guy. He wouldn’t lie to me just to get in my pants. “O-okay,” I say shakily. 

“Just tell me to stop,” Pete murmurs, kissing me softly, “and I’ll stop.”

I reach up, tangling a hand in his soft, brown hair, and brush my lips over his. “Pete,” I whisper. “Don’t stop.”

At that, Pete’s lips meld into mine and I wrap my legs around his waist. One of his hands slides up beneath my t-shirt, fingers grazing over my stomach, and my breath hitches. “Can I take this off?” he asks, and I nod quickly, reaching up my arms so he can tug the shirt over my head. Once it’s gone, big hands rest on my stomach as his eyes rove over my body. “Gorgeous,” he mumbles, kissing me again. 

My hands are under his sweatshirt now, pushing it up, and he quickly gets the idea, tearing it over his head before reattaching his lips to mine. I can’t help but kick my hips up, grinding against him desperately. Every sexual encounter I’ve had has been uncomfortable, forced by my own desperation to belong, but this is the first time I’ve really wanted someone, not just to get something over with. Heat pools in my panties more and more with each grind. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Pete rasps, moving his face lower to bury it against my neck. I whimper, eyes closing as he takes his time kissing my sensitive skin, teeth grazing my throat as he does. My hips twitch into his when he finds a particularly sensitive spot, and he huffs a soft laugh into my skin. “Found the spot,” he murmurs, and I can’t help but laugh softly. 

Pete pulls back from the kiss to tuck his fingers into the waistband of my sweats. Brown eyes land on mine. “Can I take these off?” he asks. I nod again, lifting my hips as he slides the joggers down my legs, leaving me in nothing but a bra and panties.

“Will you take yours off, too?” I ask, and he nods, rolling off me to shove his sweats off, leaving him in a tight pair of black boxer briefs that hug his hips and accentuate his very clearly large size. My mouth waters. I’ve never felt desire like this before. 

Pete returns to me, hitching my legs on his hips again, but instead of grinding into me, his hand moves between my legs, cupping me over my panties. My breath hitches and he meets my eyes. I nod my silent consent and he kisses me again as his fingertips find my clit, rubbing gentle circles. I’m shocked at how utterly good it feels, how relieving it is to finally be touched, and the moan that slips out of me is completely uninhibited. 

“This okay?” Pete murmurs and I nod avidly, digging my nails lightly into his back. “I’m gonna take these off,” he tells me, and my heart rate speeds up a little, but I’m ready. I want this. He discards my panties and returns to me, kissing me softly before doing anything else. Then, his hand is between my legs again and I’m letting out a stuttered gasp at the sensation.

Experienced fingers move lower, and he makes a soft, pleased sound when he discovers how wet I can only imagine I am. “Oh fuck,” he says lowly, pressing a finger inside me easily, and I let out a soft moan. “Alex, you’re so wet.”

I curl my fingers into his hair, holding his face to mine as I pant into his mouth. He adds a second finger, gliding inside me until his fingers curl, rubbing against a spot that makes my back arch sharply. “Oh s-shit,” I manage, squeezing his bicep firmly. “Pete-”

I always thought fingering sucked. Too much jabbing and fumbling around. But Pete knows exactly what he’s doing, and it involves no jabbing or fumbling whatsoever. I had no idea someone could move their fingers that fast as he beckons against me, and my body reacts of its own volition, legs pressing to Pete’s hips and back arching off the bed. My breathing is shallow and my palms tingle as my body adjusts to just how good this feels. 

I’ve never had an orgasm with anyone but myself, in the comfort of my own bed where there’s no need to perform or look pretty or have to fake it. Will it happen with Pete? It doesn’t seem possible that someone else could do that for me. But then, his other hand is on my lower stomach, his thumb rubbing circles into my clit.

“O-oh fuck,” I whine, grasping the sheets so hard my knuckles turn white. “Pete-” He looks so fucking good between my legs, lips parted as he watches his hands move, muscles in his arms flexing as he pleasures me. 

“God, Alex, you feel so good,” he says, sounding completely wrecked, and I can start to picture what it might be like to have sex with him. I want to reach out and touch him but I can’t because my hands and my legs are shaking, and my skin is prickling as a knot starts to form in my lower stomach. 

“F-fuck, just like that,” I squeak, praying he doesn’t change anything because I can feel it building but if he does something differently, I might lose it. But he knows what he’s doing because he doesn’t stop, doesn’t speed up or slow down. “Pete, ahh-” I whimper.

“You gonna come?” he breathes and all I can do is nod frantically, stomach clenching, and he groans softly. “Shit, I can feel you. Come on, baby.”

The use of the word baby sends me completely over the edge, and I clamp my fingers around his wrist as I contract around his fingers, hips jerking and squirming. I don’t even try to conceal my moans and whimpers, it’s too good to hold anything back. I’m a trembling, whining mess when it’s finally done and Pete slowly pulls his fingers from me. 

He comes up to lie beside me as I catch my breath, panting and shaking. “Jesus Christ,” I say weakly, and Pete chuckles. I look at him. “That’s never happened before,” I confess.

“No one’s ever made you come?” Pete asks, clearly surprised. “Shit. How was it?”

I laugh weakly, pushing my hair back. “Was it not obvious?” I ask.

Pete smiles bashfully and gives me a soft kiss. Before he can pull back, my hand is in his hair and I’m keeping him close. Finally, I’m able to reach out and give him a squeeze over his boxers. He groans softly, hips twitching forward.

“You don’t have to,” he says, but I shush him and kiss him again, working him over his boxer briefs. He helps me to pull down his boxers, and then I’m able to wrap my fingers around him. I’m not very experienced, but I can tell that he’s big. Holy shit. 

“Do you have anything to…uh?” I ask, hoping he knows what I mean, and he does. He rolls over and grabs a bottle of lube from his bedside table, clicking it open to pour some into my hand. I wrap my fingers around him again and his breath hitches at the added slickness. 

“Fuck, Alex,” Pete grunts softly as I move my hand slowly. I’ve done this a few times, so at least I kind of know what I’m doing here. I start to speed up as our kisses deepen, twisting my wrist and squeezing more firmly. “Shit,” Pete gasps after a few minutes. “I’m gonna come if you keep doing that.”

I pull his face to mine with my free hand and kiss him again, nibbling gently at his lip. I jerk my hand faster and I can feel him tensing up, his stomach tightening. He curses into my mouth and his hips jerk up as he comes on his stomach. I work him through it, pulling my hand away when he stops squirming. 

“Shit,” he breathes, pulling me in for another soft kiss. “That was amazing.”

“Sorry it wasn’t anything more,” I say self-consciously, but Pete shakes his head.

“That was perfect, Alex,” he says. “Seriously. You okay?” I nod. “Will you get me a towel from my bathroom, please?”

I get up and pull his shirt over my head before going into the bathroom. I grab his hand towel and hand it over so he can clean up. We dress again, me in his shirt and my panties, and he in just his sweats. “Do you want to stay here tonight?” he asks.

I blink, surprised. “I-if you want me to,” I say, climbing back into bed.

“Of course I do,” Pete says, kissing my forehead. 

We spend the rest of the night talking. We don’t talk about us or anything like that, just things like our families, our pasts. I drift off on his chest, so sleepy and content.

[thefanficmonster]

Hidden Powers

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Abuse allegations, Swearing, Mild melancholy

Genre: Humor, SLIGHT Angst, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic) - Sorry the genres are all over the place

Summary: A misconception or misunderstanding turned rumor threatens to bring down Corpse’s entire career, but luckily, Y/N knows better than to stand aside and let it happen.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request and I’m so sorry for the long wait but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the fic if you happen to come across it. Love, Vy ❤

“Fuck this game!“ Y/N yells out in frustration as she is met with the screen informing her of her failure - aka death - for the fifth time in the past hour. “Has anyone ever even passed night four? I’m sure the king of FNAF Markiplier has but I’m also sure he hasn’t done it one a livestream! And my big mouth really had to go ahead and swear not to end this stream until I pass this God forsaken night, ughhh!“

Typically, Y/N’s quite the fearful rat when playing horror games, especially when home alone like right now, but this FNAF game has gradually turned her into a raging gamer instead. Not raging as in kicking ass at the game but as in the game kicking the ass of her sanity. She’s been struggling with this specific night for a while - the better half of her previous stream and an hour into today’s. Well, seeing how little progress she’s making with each try, it’s gonna be way more than an hour into today’s livestream as well. She’ll be lucky if she manages to get past it before hitting the three hour mark or just rage quitting which she’s bound to do eventually if her gameplay keeps going at this rate.

Another try later, she’s once again jumpscared into a failure screen that’s practically mocking her at this point. Throwing her arms above her head, Y/N sighs heavily, the frustration she’s harboring becoming more and more evident in her body language. “You know what, I need a break. Lemme see what you guys are saying in the chat.”

Scrolling through comments upon comments greeting her, sending her compliments and some trolling her with some hateful remarks she comes across a question which makes her brows furrow. That same question is repeated by a few other people but they fly by so quickly she doesn’t manage to catch the people’s usernames.

“A bruise on my arm? Where?“ She says out loud as she inspects both her arms, looking for what her chat had been talking about. That’s when her eyes eyes land on the purple mark on the skin just above her right elbow. She laughs, “Oh this? I know I’m a clumsy person but Corpse is to blame for this one.“

Little does the girl know, her boyfriend, who’s currently in his own apartment instead of camping out at hers, is watching this very stream, laughing his ass off remembering how that bruise came to be.

His laughter is cut short though when he catches glimpse of Y/N’s chat which suddenly floods with concern from her fans - assumptions and allegations of him being an abusive boyfriend starting to pollute the previously cheerful comment section. His stomach turns, for many reasons, each reason making it tighten in a worse and more painful knot. 

The first blow comes from people actually coming up with such a thing. How could they even allow their minds to wander to such a dark and disgusting place where he’d be even remotely an abuser.

The second blow to his heart is delivered by the fact that people believed it. How and why could people believe such an absurd idea?! How low did these people think of him? What kind of piece of shit did he come off as to some people?

And the third is the mental image the idea gives him. It’s such a fucked up scene, he can’t even conjure it up, he can’t mentally picture it. Hell, he could and would never even raise his voice at Y/N. He’d never dare upset her or hurt her feelings let alone hurt her....like that!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!“ Y/N’s gasp reaches him as though it was meant to fish him out of the downward spiral he started going down with these overwhelmingly dark thoughts, “What’s with this nonsense some of y’all are spewing in the chat?!“ She sounds downright angry and irritated, ready to fight whoever will continue spreading these rumors about her lovely boyfriend whom she absolutely adores. “Guys, I mean, seriously?! Do you have any idea what you’re talking about and WHO you’re talking about? Do we have the same Corpse in mind here? I doubt we do - you have some villainized, abusive version, and I have the loving boyfriend who tried to teach me how to handle a lightsaber so we can have a lightsaber fight and my dumbass used my own weapon against me. Yeah, I was pretty salty Corpse laughed his heart out while I was cringing in pain, but man, you guys take it farther than the farthest.“ Seeing his sweet, kind and non-confrontational girlfriend who always avoids conflict at all costs turn into this protective lioness because someone is talking shit about him is heartwarming and scary at the same time. “Y’all better shut the hole where these fucked up rumors surfaced from before you get one of the most innocent, loving and caring individuals in hot water for the BS you came up with! Copy? You better.“

Corpse has never in his entire life seen the topic of a stream chat change so quickly, the rumor never once getting brought up again.

That’s some serious power right there - power he never knew Y/N possessed because of her cute and soft exterior. Now he knows what kinda beast of a woman he’s dating - one prepared to do anything to protect him, no matter who from. And damn does that make him feel emotional and loved despite the shit that just happened. She can make him forget all the bad within the blink of an eye - that too is another superpower of hers, but this one he’s known about from the very start.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari  @renupf  @booklover76  @sra-verissimo

[peysk]

im obsessed with comment sections. that's like half of the anjoyment of any youtube video to me. the way people express and relate themselves to what they watch is mad fascinating. penis jumpscare

[koks-kino]

I think that looking into works of art that aestheticize violence is like combing wounds of your own psyche. It is harmful, but sometimes you really want it. And what could be more attractive to human attention than someone else's pain, laid out on a beautiful plate and served for dessert? That’s why I don’t hate FM Einheit. And why I ever would hate him if I myself consider EN’ Nagorny Karabach as my favourite music video? So I want to write down my thoughts about it.

Lyrically most of their poetical pieces are puzzles closed on itself and it’s quite hard to find an answer for them. Some texts are so obscure that you don’t ever know how to read a question, left alone answer it. Nagorny Karabach is the same mystery - but at first sight it’s not a mystery at all. Text is simple and music is soft, and it ever built on standart pattern: verse 1 - chorus - verse 2 - chorus - instrumental interlude - verse 3 - ending. It’s very calm and likable melody, no wonder that youtube comment section of it is full of gratitudes and political showdowns.

Nevertheless, even lyrically it’s not that easy. The narrator's obsession with his own persona is noticeable: he speaks mainly about himself, moreover, he also describes the place in which he is as the place of his own: it’s not just Black Garden, it’s his garden to hide and to be himself. There is an explanation for the choice of topic: West Berlin was an enclave in DDR, and Karabakh was enclave too; this similarity, as Blixa noted, was the cause of this “kinship”. It’s possible, of course, that the narrator is the figure of the poet himself. But I noticed that some of the Neubauten texts will be more understandable if you ask: who or what is the narrator of it? Surprisingly the narrator of this song doesn’t equal to autor - mainly because the line “I have unlimited time”. Who on earth may have unlimited time? Obviously not a human.

Now let’s look at the video.

Of course, the video is even more self-centered. There is nothing in it but the performer and his concert in 2004 that is projected on the walls: egocentrism squared. And speaking on performance itself: it’s... somehow unsetting. Unsettingness was my first emotion on it, but even so Bargeld’s unpleasantness was paradoxically attractive. Something made me come back to the video every time. Later it was tested on my friend, and she agreed with me as well. What are only the ghost-like appearing or jumpscares on the second half! It all is amazing as the sticky smile of him. But above all that the most devilish part was the choose of subject. The fact is that the described area in reality is known only for its military conflict and nothing else. Yes, it... adds. I really appreciate how stillness of the atmosphere constantly gaslights the listener, like, it’s full soft and not about it at all, while performer kind of hoaxes about him. 

Maybe it’s the devil has unlimited time?

[dystopian-penguin]

Is this a real life story? Is this a fic concept? Who knows 🤷

But here’s a very long account of... something.

This isn't a gay disaster story. It's a gay sad ending story. It's a gay "self-homophobia is very real and realistic” story, and not in the "gay panic is kinda cute" way.

It all started 14 years ago (yes that long), when I was still deeply in the HP fandom and even more deep into reading James/Lilly fics in ff.net all day long. For the first time in my entire life I decided to sort by “all works” and not just “completed”. I know it might sound super silly, and even a bit cliche considering this is tumblr and we live and breath fics, but that single decision literally changed the course of my life. And unlike what I usually do, I am not exaggerating. I found this one fic that must have had, like, 20 chapters and almost 100k words and dived into it without looking for rocks in the bottom. Long story short: the last posted chapter ended on a huuuuuge cliffhanger, like the very next moment after the kiss, and it left me completely destroyed.

So I did what I always do, what I am known on tumblr and my small social circle in here to do: I went to scream at the author.

But I wasn’t content to just scream in the comment section, oh no. For all I knew the bitch wouldn’t even see it, the last update had been from like 8 months previously. So I stalked her ff.net profile and found her MSN email. Yes, the story is THAT old.

My literal first words to her must have been something akin to “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH”, which yay for the beautiful poetic irony that the universe crafts at times. She took it in stride because, let’s face it, a shitton of people had already greeted her like that by then. And we started talking, and it was easy and fun. We had a lot in common, more or less the same type of interests, the usual you’d expect if I had met her on tumblr even. We must have talked like 3 hours straight on that first day, and I left feeling pretty good cause I had made a new friend. Not only that, but right off the bat I admired her so much. Not only because she was talented as fuck (imagine writing a 100k unfinished fic at only 15 y/o), but also because the more I talked to her the more I could see just how fucking cultured she was and how intelligent and ect. She came from a wealthy family and such a different reality from me. She had been abroad, in fact she usually travelled abroad with her family like twice a year, she was fluent in english even then (at that point I was I intermediate at best), not to mention german because her family was german. She was 15 (a year older than me back then) and trilingual and could write wonderfully and I was fascinated by her instantly.

Something else worth of note was that her profile pic on the day we met had been set to a close-up of a blue eye. I must have asked on that very same day whose eye was that because damn if it hasn’t been the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I mean, I hadn’t told her that, but I was curious enough to ask. And as everyone and their grandmother might have guessed by now, it was hers.

Somehow (and I truly don’t know HOW), we got into the habit of talking every day, or at least very close to it. I got to know about her daily life, just one state south from where I live and sooooo much colder than what I had ever experienced. She went to a swiss school, fully bilingual, was the first in her year in the IB program which for the love of crap I didn’t even know it existed back then. Might not ever have known if I never met her. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and back then SMS messages were like 1,50 bucks for inter-state ones. Our mothers were not happy.

Around a year and a half went by this way. She became my best friend, my rock. We both had a shitton of problems in your high school lives and in our family lives, and we were so relieved to know there was someone out there we could share those with. In the meantime she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, ironically just a few months before I had my very first kiss. When she broke up with her boyfriend she was absolutely devastated (they had been together almost a year or so), and relied on me a lot back then. Which I was more than happy to support because for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I was actually part of someone’s life. I didn’t feel like I ever bothered her, like I was ever intruding in her life. I felt like I was truly part of her world, like she actually remembered my existence when I was not around, and at now-16 years of age that had literally been the first time I had felt that. I never had a true friend before her. Not sure I ever did after her either.

On easter 2008 we finally convinced our moms to let us meet. Her family had a whole goddamn country house with a huge plot of land, so it was decided I was gonna visit her first. So I got semi-sedated and got into my first plane ride EVER, and for those of you that are reading this and know me (although I doubt anyone is reading at all), you know how terrified of planes I am. You know how BIG of a gesture it is for me to get into a fucking plane for the first time in my life for a person.

I already knew she was pretty. I mean, we had talked on the webcam a couple of times before (just a few times because the internet back then was really terrible). The blue eyes I mentioned, and the most fucking beautiful silky blonde hair you’ve ever seen. But when I saw her the first time on that airport it still took my breath away. Even more, what truly surprised me, was the huge smile she gave as soon as she saw me out of the gate and she rushed to hug me. I was paralyzed. I mean yes I was happy and hugged her back, which was a huge deal because back then I was not touchy feely at all (and she was VERY). But I was paralyzed. Because I had never in my entire 16 years of age seen anyone smile that big or that brightly at seeing me. Hell, I suppose I had never seen anyone smile that brightly at all. As the day progressed she was so legit happy that I was there, and I could never fully wrap my head around it. We drove to her house and her mom took the long way just so they could show me all the interesting spots in her city, and she shared tidbits of her daily life that I still didn’t know, despite us being so close, because those are the things you only learn by actually being next to the person irl. Later on she introduced me to her two best friends in school, and we all decided to watch a horror movie.

Yes, it’s THAT cliche.

Now, you see, I’m absolutely fucking impervious to horror movies. Yes I get jumpscared just as much as anyone else, but I don’t get scared. So I was sitting there a bit lowkey bored, narrating the entire plot of the movie and what would happen a few scenes before it did because the movie was just that easy to guess. And she had taken complete ownership of my left arm the entire time, being half super scared and half impressed I could guess every single thing on the plot. Later on she apologized for not letting go of my arm because she knew I wasn’t as touchy feely as she was, and I was once again taken aback because I come from a ridiculously touchy-feely country and NO ONE ever apologizes for it or respects my boundaries on it.

The next day we wake up bright and early to go to her ranch-thingy. She slept on top of me on the car almost all the way there. I must have woken up like a whole hour before her but didn’t move at all.

I’m a city slick. I’m a huge city slick, through and through. Which means I am both fascinated and absolutely terrified on any plot of grass bigger than a garden. And her country house was fucking amazing. I had only experienced the true freedom of being in nature a few times in my life, and she made sure to show me every nook and crane of the forest surrounding it. Because yes it was a forest and not a jungle like where I lived, and that made it all the more magical.

But the truly one magical thing in the entire 4-days weekend was the stars. You see, I am absolutely in love with the stars. It’s stupid to say something like this when I was retelling the greatest love story of my life, but the stars are my one true love. I got my first telescope when I was five years old. My mother cannot for the life of her explain where I got this obsession from. She always said I was already born that way. So I find myself for the first time in my life with the least amount of light pollution I’ve ever been subject to in my entire life (even nowadays). For the first time in my life I has actually been able to see the Milky Way with my own two eyes. And what made everything even more impressive was that it was a full moon, and the night sky still looked as incredible as it’s supposed to look. Honestly it might have been a great contender to the beauty of her blue eyes.

The moment I remember the most is us laying down on some beach towels (no idea why they had those in the countryside), stargazing for hours at end. By then we were two full states to the south of mine, so I believe the technical definition of what I was feeling is fucking freezing my inexistent balls off. I had gotten dressed in just some jeans and a tshirt way before the sun set, and I was dammed if I was gonna interrupt our stargazing to go put on some decent clothes. I remember her asking a few times if I was cold, and I also remember myself lying through my teeth saying I had gotten used to it by then. Blatant lies, my nipples could cut through fucking glass at the moment. But I wasn’t gonna interrupt it because it was just the two of us on a grassy clearing, her family was at least 200m away and we couldn't even hear them anymore and it was just us and the stars and her hands were so close to mine that I could feel the heat (the only source of it for my beach-town ass I suppose). It was the perfect fucking moment. The moment most people dream of having their entire lives. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but it was a few hours for sure. Her mom had to call us back inside, and nothing broke my heart more. We talked about anything and everything. I told her what I knew of astronomy and I could see for the first time I was fascinating her with knowledge. Because I had always felt and will always feel like a peasant in the presence of a princess when it comes to her. With how cultured and educated and just fucking smart she always had been. But as I told her of the constellations (sometimes grabbing her hand to point to the stars and make her spot them better), and proclaimed my love for the night sky, she listened. She listened and I had never felt heard before in my life. She listened and I felt I had managed to make her fall in love with the stars a little bit by just talking about them.

She listened and I felt I had managed to make myself fall in love in her a little bit by just seeing the way she looked at me as I talked.

All good things come to an end and time had come for me to go back home. I will never forget how she hugged me goodbye on that same airport. Where I had seen the brightest smile on my life and now I could see she was holding back tears for me. Because I was leaving. I was important enough in someone’s life that they were about to cry because I wasn’t going to be around anymore. She way she whispered “I’m gonna miss you so much” on my ear, on such a low note I am sure it was just so her mother wouldn’t hear her, and her voice will haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me a few days later that she did cry on her way to school that morning.

After this it was near impossible to not be with her at all times. We texted constantly, and used to talk like 2 whole hours on the phone before bed. Once again I must remind you this was 2008 so it was no cheap business. Her mother started to try to separate us a bit, insisting she didn’t contact me as much, even tho I was sure the one who could not afford those phone bills, not her. It all culminated on what was ironically (or perhaps planned by her mother?) brazilian Valentine’s day (we are the only country in the world that celebrates in on St. Anthony’s day, which is June 12th). It was the first day in almost two years we didn’t talk at all, because of how much her mother had nagged her about it. The next day we talked as if we had been separated by a war for a decade.

I’m gonna take a break here to let everyone know that no, I did not think I was in love with her back then. I don’t think she knew either, but it’s hard to tell.

Her mother planned her entire july winter break to the minute just so she could spend the least amount of time in my house as possible. We got 5 days instead of the previous 4. But her mother came up with a ridiculous amount of trips for the family. She visit 3 different countries (and a whole different state inside her own country) within 30 fucking days. That’s how bad it had gotten then. Our SMSs had to be cut down to just two or three a day because of it.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when she arrived at my house (her family had insisted in meeting mine before letting her stay) I was able to see from three floors up how brightly she had smiled at seeing me again.

I’ll make this part short: we stayed cooped inside blankets the entire time, playing on my PS2. It was so ridiculous that my mom, maaaany years later, told me she usually left the house for hours at time just to give us an opportunity of finally doing something about our very obvious feelings. Unlike the trip we took to her ranch, this one was filled with 3am deep existencial talks. And unlike the other trip, we spent the whole time sleeping on the same bed. Not a whole lot happened other than us dancing around the obvious feelings and how to deal with being so close to each other.

Nothing beside the very last morning together. I remember always waking up after her, because that’s just how we were. I remember she was already up, reading this book in fucking german of all things. It had been the first day of the entire week we had a meager ray of sunshine. And the way my window and ourselves were positioned, the sun was shinning directly on her. I woke up to the vision of an angel. I had never seen hair in such a warm bright color. I had never seen eyes that were the living embodiment of a spring afternoon sky. I woke up and her propped up on a couple of pillows, reading under the weak morning sun was the first thing I saw. It was the first thing I saw and I could swear I was still dreaming.

Because for the first time in all this, I could not contain and muffle the voice inside my head that was screaming: I want to wake up next to this every single day for the rest of my life.

It was the last time I woke up next to her for the rest of my life.

To my credit I did shake off my daze from the sight quite fast. I had gotten so good to drowning out these feelings that I was great at putting my poker face back up. We talked, we had breakfast, we let ourselves feel a bit sad about her leaving.

Then, just about half an hour before we actually had to go shower to take her to the station, it happened. The one moment that made me feel confident this all wasn’t just in my head. It all wasn’t just wishful thinking of a lonely pathetic girl who got way too bullied in high school.

We were having an impromptu pillow fight cause why not. That’s how girls who are secretly in love handle their feelings after all. It’s universal I think. And, well, on the overall 9 days we spent together irl I never actually beat her once because I’m just that much of a noddle. But this one fight we were both in bed, with weak footing and etc. You can see where this is going.

So on a scene to rival any anime, or that one gif of girls playing handball that fall on top of each other, she fell on top of me. Well, did she fall? I don’t know. For all I know, she planned.

And we had the moment. The gaze. Those few indescribable seconds of your life that you’re always gonna remember like yesterday, no matter how old you get. She had each of my hands pinned to the side of my head, and at first I thought we were still fighting so I just struggled and laughed and was saying stuff like “get off me ya psycho!”. But then I looked up. I looked up and.

And then I felt it. I felt everything her eyes were telling me. She wasn’t playing with me anymore. She was staring at me as if she already knew it was going to be the last time. She was staring at me as if it was a love story because it was. She was staring at me as if her entire existence, as if the whole oxygen on the earth itself depending on my presence.

She was staring at me like I has never been looked at before, or since. Even with a 3-years long relationship I had muuuch later on. No one had never, or will ever, look at me the way she looked at me.

And I froze. I froze because I had no idea what else to do. I froze because inside my head back then this was still wrong. Girls should not kiss. Girls should never kiss.

It was wrong.

It was so wrong, but nothing, not a single piece of bigot ramble ever uttered in history would make me feel more scared than losing my best friend. Nothing in the world scared me more than losing her.

Could I cross this boundary? Did she want to? Or was it just a spur on the moment thing?

But then she stared at my lips and I could not help but lick my own. Out of instinct, out of craving, out of love.

To the risk of getting an angry mob to my house right now, no, we did not kiss.

In fact, I dont quite remember the next few seconds at all. It had been single the most intense moment in my life at this point. It is still one of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. I completely blanked out of how I actually got pulled out of it and back into the land of living. Next thing I know we are sitting on opposite sides of the bed, trying to move away from the awkwardness. We did manage, in a couple of minutes. and things went back to normal between us.

But things would never be back to normal within me.

I’m gonna take a pause here to point out I’m bisexual. So like every bisexual, I am a very confused person. Cause you see, the moment you figure out you're bisexual it’s so much more confusing than figuring out you're fully homosexual. Because in the moment, things don’t just click. Things dont just start to magically make sense. I was 16 and I had absolutely liked guys before. Was it with this intensity? No because I was fucking 16. She was the first person I was been truly in love with. But I know it in my soul that if she was a dude I would love her with the exact same intensity. This particular discourse took me another three years to solve, but I digress.

And then she left.

She left and, like I said, her mother had programed her entire july milimetrically so we could be as far apart as possible. She left my house straight back to her ranch, not even her own house, And they have no internet there, so no MSN. Just a single 30-minutes phone call a day, for the 4 days after we had spent the entire week cooped up in bed inside blankets and playing lame-ass RPGs. And then right after that she left for germany for two full weeks. But before that particular trip, she did manage to get home. She got home to a letter of her grandma that read...

Well to be honest I cannot tell you what it read exactly. Because she was extremely vague about it when telling me. But it was enough to destroy her. It was enough to make her think that her grandma would not want anything to do with her anymore and it was based off somewhat new events. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out the full contents of the letter. Her family is from the brazilian Bible Belt. But back then, at 16, confused as fuck, and already preemptively heartbroken, I legit had no idea what it said. She was vague and I didn’t want to pry. I just wanted to make her stop crying. I just wanted to put that beautiful smile back in her face but on that day I could feel her slipping away for the first time.

The rest of the story takes place in just a bit under two months. Maybe 6 weeks at most.

She goes to germany and finds a boyfriend, as one does. She leeches on this boy like a lifeline, but never stops texting me our 3 international texts we were allowed daily. In fact, the first thing she did after kissing him was pulling off her phone as texting me.

You can imagine how well this guy takes it.

Now, she goes back to brasil and this guy actually lives somewhat close to her. It’s a doable relationship. Once they both have access to internet and MSN again, and she is fast to introduce us, so happy that both of the most important people in her life are meeting. Even tho they had been together for like 3 weeks at this point.

I’m ok with it because, well, I still hadn’t figured myself out. I know no one will believe this, but I honestly did not feel jealousy. In fact, it was almost relief. Relief that I would not need to look into my feelings any further than I had back in july. I was happy for her. She seemed genuinely happy with this guy, and so was I.

And then Independence Day weekend comes and hell starts to... well, not break loose, but certainly get weaker on the seams. In here Independence Day is on September 7th, but both on my city and hers there's a city holiday on the 8th. On that year it ended up getting us a 4-day weekend again, and obviously I thought I was the one who was gonna be invited to visit her. I has been counting on it, planning for it.

Two weeks or so before that she informs me that she wants to invite her boyfriend over instead of it, which is like. Ok. Fair. But for the first time in this entire story I felt jealousy. Because that ranch, those stars, that sky... it was our place. I did not wanna share those experiences I had with her with anyone else. But I kept quiet of course, because how could I not? I tell her “yeah it’s a bit upsetting because I was hopping we could see each other, but I am genuinely happy you get to spend time with him!”

She ghosts me in that week.

To this day, 12 years and 2 months later, I do not know why. I do not know how. I know her grandma called again when she learned the boyfriend was gonna come over and not me, but that’s all.

She ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing. So I had no other social parameter to deal with the situation. I will never forget the absolutely heart wrenching pain I felt when I figured out she had blocked me on MSN. It’s indescribable.

It’s indescribable because she was the first person I felt like actually gave a flying fuck if I lived of died, if I was happy or if I cried. And she had up and decided to fucking cut me out her life without a single fucking word of explanation. One night everything was fine, we even had a group chat with her boyfriend. The next day she is gone forever. I don’t know, nor I think I will ever learn what triggered it. What was the last fucking draw, the last fucking prejudiced word directed at her that made her do it.

My world had been full of color, full of life, and even if literally everyone around me in real life would be so much happier if I didn’t exist (back then I DID NOT get along with my mother), she had seemed this entire time to be so much happier with me around. She was the one person who liked my existence. And literally overnight, I wake up and my world is empty. My world is empty and my air is missing and I don’t fucking know why.

It’s been 12 years and I still don’t know why.

Her boyfriend harassed me a bit back on orkut. Like, I have no idea why. It was unprompted. But it does give you a big fucking clue does it now?

I haven’t gotten a single word from her ever again. I know she’s alive, that’s not the fucking point of the story. I know because I tried to contact her again through every fucking means possible. I even sent her a letter of all things for fuck’s sake. When facebook came along I found her there too and sent her a message. Once 3 years after the fact, and then again 6 years after the fact. That was the last time I tried contacting her.

I cannot say I was “faithful”, so to speak. I cannot say she has been the only thing in my mind. I cannot say that I have not loved again, because I have. I had a serious 3-year relationship, as I mentioned. I had actual gay disasters stories in between. She has not remained the foremost thing in my mind. She has not remained my one true love. There were times where I spent months without thinking about her. Even silly crushes are enough to stray my thoughts away, to stray my heart away

But what worth are those times if I always go back to thinking of her as soon as I see myself without someone? What worth are those times where she is not in my mind, if she had never left my heart to begin with?

What worth is forgetting about her at times when she is my default setting?

I know what you're thinking. “you’re not in love with her, you’re in love with the idea of what could have been”. And you’re absolutely right. I know you are. I’m fully aware of it, of the implications of it, not only on my love life but my mental health.

But she has been the single most influential person in my life. She was the one that got me to writing. She was the one who made face my mother and have The Talk we needed for fucking 16 years about who my father was. Fuck, she is the sole responsible for setting my life on that path, and all the domino effect of events that happened because of the decision of talking to my mother about it. She was the one that made me figure out I was bisexual. Not a lesbian, definitively not straight, but not gay either. Bisexual, out and proud.

She was my first love.

She was my first love and she is the one that makes me give some credit to the saying “at the end of your life you will see you’ve fallen in love with the same person over and over again”.

She was my first love and she makes me go fucking crazy enough to give the whole “soulmates” concept a decent thought, because this cannot have been natural. Loneliness cannot explain the entire thing. It cannot explain how ridiculously drawn I was to her right away. Attraction doesn’t explain it either. It cannot explain how insanely synced up I’ve always felt to her. How insanely connected.

I’m not gonna lie, I loved my ex. Truly and deeply. They were the only person to ever treat me respect, and I felt almost as connected to them as I did to her. Almost.

If we are getting technical, I felt, like, 95% synced up with them. Which is more than the vast majority of humankind can only dream of feeling.

But it was not 100%.

There has only been one person in my life that I have felt 100% connected with. One person in my life I have not been able to shake away, have not been able to get over. Oh I have moved on. I have moved on and moved back in and then moved on again. Many times, over and over.

But I have not gotten over you. I will never get over you. What happened. How it ended. You were my biggest heartbreak. You were my biggest love story, and I didn’t even get to live it.

You make me so illogical that I sincerely hope there is a next life out there. One we can meet, sit down, and talk.

I’m sure you are a completely different person right now. I am a completely different person too. And it is insane, it is illogical, and it is immature to think that these two completely different people would still have any vestige of a thing in common like we did as kids. Because we were kids. We were kids and now we are both adults, and have a single damn thing changed?

A whole fuckton of them changed. Seasons changed. Years changed. The entire fucking world changed. I have changed more than you can possible imagine a person would in 12 years.

But you being the default setting of my heart has not changed. No matter how “unfaithful” I’ve been to you. No matter how much I will keep on living not being attached to you. No matter how much I know at some point I will forget you, forget this feeling, and bask into the pleasure of a new love. No matter how much at some point I will surely think “wow, what a crazy bitch I was back then, with all these feelings for a random girl who certainly doesn’t even remember I exist”.

And that’s one of my biggest fears you see. Cause for me you are half the fucking book. For me you’re the constant element that comes back when sea is calm and things are ok.

And I fear that to you I was nothing more than a line, maybe a throwaway paragraph in your life.

[real-jaune-isms]

Volume 7 Chapter 3 Review

My first time with this, it’s probably gonna be longwinded and awkward...

Starting off with 3 scenes basically happening at once is interesting. The airship flying them in to start the mission, Ruby and Jaune getting briefed on it, and the whole crew getting their gear upgrades. The briefing conversation plays over shots of them all getting their personal briefcases of stuff, and of some normal soldiers fighting smaller Grimm in the tundra. The new clothes scene is most important though. We see: Their happy faces, Blake and Jaune both pondering haircuts while Jaune runs his hands over the sash he kept from Pyrrha (ow my heart), Yang attaching her arm upgrade, and Ruby getting at a new cape before Oscar approaches her. Oh, and on the briefing screens RWBY and JNR are registered as civilian Huntsmen. They have their licenses!!!!

Let’s talk about the cape for a sec. Her red cloak has been an heirloom she’s kept for 6 volumes now and about 17 years. The last vestige of her mother. So is it really such a good idea for her to get a new one and just go with it? Is that abandoning the sentimental value and very essence of the original cape? It’s been worn and weathered since Volume 4, so an replacement or a stitch job would be good, but the latter would be ideal. I don’t really mind the new one so much because she asked for it and clearly she had a reason for that. It’s the exact same in every visual way as far as I could see, and she’s keeping the old one. The message is still alive in her wearing it, and times must change. It’s better to get a new one than risk damaging the original any more.

Anyway, after we see the few shots of them prepping for this mission, a very old Geist possessing a bunch of ice and hiding in a Dust mine, the airship doors open and we see the team in all their new glory. They jump out accompanied by the Ace Ops, and all make stylish landings. Ruby only uses her pogo gunshots to slow her descent, and Blake swings her weld fixed Gambol Shroud to Spider-Man swing around the buildings to land. But Weiss and Yang use their semblances to do it, and the aura percentages on Blake’s scroll later represent that accordingly. Good attention to detail. And we hear from Weiss that using your Aura can keep you from freezing, a good reason why they can all wear such stylish clothes and not die of frostbite.

After Clover checks in with all the groups about keeping in contact and keeping an eye on Aura levels, Blake catches Yang staring and they have an adorably awkward exchange about Blake’s haircut and how Yang likes it but doesn’t know how to express that. Marrow seems annoyed he has to watch a high school love story unfolding in front of him, but Harriet teases him about being childish and that shuts him up. They head toward the mine entrance, but Team RWBY hangs back to discuss how uncomfortable they all are with having lied to Ironwood last episode about Salem and the lamp. But Ruby reasons that they don’t know if Ironwood is in the right mindset for that bombshell right now and they WILL tell him soon. Fair enough. A flashback to Oscar’s interruption earlier reveals he’s pretty torn about it too since it’s exactly what they hated Ozpin for doing to them. Either way, they enter the mine and a comment about the path being blocked leads to a chilling realization. This is the mine that caved in and killed Ilia’s parents. This is why her life went so terribly, and it’s a major reminder of the awful relationship between humans and Faunus and how bad things can get. That prompts Weiss to try and apologize for her own bad attitude about it all in Volume 1, and some harsh truths from Marrow about complacency with injustice for the sake of living free of making those hard moral choices. Wise words, a lot to think about with this world and even our own.

But there’s no time for thinking about changing the world’s prejudices, they need to send Blake through a dark opening in the rubble to see if it’s safe for them to blast a hole big enough for everyone or if there’s any nearby Dust they might agitate. I get the whole faunus seeing better in the darker area of the cave thing but... couldn’t Marrow have done it too? Or was he too big and thicc and they had to send the lithe teenager? I tease, I tease. Height and muscle mass may be the legit reasons, plus her weapon is also less bulky. Before she goes in, both Blake and Yang see the SDC logo printed on some discarded boxes, likely a reminded of the last place they saw it: branded on Adam’s face. Not a good memory to recall in a tight situation, but it shows they’re still dealing with that. Good news is, when Blake goes through there’s no Dust on the other side. Bad news, the Geist gives a legitimate jumpscare that literally makes Blake jump back in surprise and pull her weapon to shoot at it. That of course clues the others in that she found something, and we see Harriet’s weapon as she deploys mechanized armor to go over her arms and boost her punching strength. Reminds me of the controls for a mech, fake arms you wear and move in the cockpit to move the real giant ones. But these have plenty of power all on their own and bust open the wall of debris. Makes sense to boost her upper body strength to counterbalance the power in her legs.

They chase the Geist into the mine until they encounter the new Centinel Grimm burrowing up from the ground. Team RWBY gets to show off their weapon upgrades/new moves as they dispose of them: Blake does a lot of slashing and stabbing as usual and Weiss does mostly the same plus shooting ice at the bugs and using glyphs to stop them from lunging. But the real stars seem to be Yang and Ruby. Yang added sticky bombs to her gauntlets’ arsenal, and Ruby can now spin Crescent Rose’s blade 180 degrees to slice a severed centinel half on her backswing. Cool. But Marrow shows off his own party tricks with his rifle that becomes a large blade edged boomerang and the ability to stop two Grimm still with nothing but a snap and the word “stay”. Clearly a reference to dog obedience training and possibly showing the power words can have, a reference to The Boy Who Cried Wolf, which I still believe he’s based on. All that kid had to do was say the word and the entire town came running to face a supposed threat. However, I’ve also heard that his inspiration is actually “A Dog and it’d Shadow”, which might suggest he’s going to go down a bad path for the sake of his own benefit... Regardless, Harriet zooms up and tosses the centinel against a wall, which seems to stop it. They report sighting the target and engaging with further hostiles to the others, who take that as a cue to speed things up. When next we see them, Harriet runs past Weiss and Ruby to take down the last Centinel with a single punch before Ruby had time to even take a shot at it. Instead of being petty about a kill steal, our little rose goes gaga over Harriet having a speed semblance like her, while the Hare of course boasts she seems to be faster based on Ruby’s reaction time. They suddenly hear Clover announce he’s fighting the Geist with Qrow, and when it eludes them too everyone converges in a central cavern.

Now let’s talk about JNR’s section of the mission until they meet up with the others. They make their jump too, Jaune having added Hard Light Dust to his shield and using it like Link’s paraglider in Breath of the Wild to float down gently, and then gravity Dust from the central crest to negate the final impact and bounce into a flip landing. Stylish~ We don’t see how, but Ren and Nora landed fine too. And their accompanying Ace Operatives Vine and Elm give rather indirect compliments, much to Jaune and Nora’s annoyance. As they walk through an ice tunnel and Vine reports its stability and their approximate time of convergence, Nora gushes about how exciting it all is before turning her enthusiasm on Ren. He handles a direct compliment about his new outfit about as well as Ren handles any show of emotion... he does not. He just tries to redirect the topic to the mission. Annoying to all the Renora shippers, absolutely, but also kinda his MO. His semblance, his very nature since the tragedy of Kuroyuri is to not get emotional because that can get them in trouble if it’s at the wrong time. He still needs to learn there are plenty of right times to have emotions, LIKE WHEN YOUR UNOFFICIAL GIRLFRIEND WANTS YOU TO RETURN THE COMPLIMENT!!! He better learn from that mistake... But at least there’s dense as a rock Jaune to compliment Nora instead and miss the point of what she was doing. The good boy is trying his best to be nice.

When they hear RWBY’s squad announce the fighting has started they start booking it and slide down an icy slope that’s revealed to have Centinels emerging at the bottom. Vine uses his semblance to stretch out and grab hold of the walls and Elm uses her’s to root her feet in the ground, both so they can stop moving toward the enemy. But that’s not JNR’s style, so they charge right into the Grimm and take them out quickly. A gravity burst shield bash from Jaune, new grappling hook mode for the blades on Ren’s guns, and Nora just bashes some skulls. This approaches earns another indirect compliment before they took finish the journey to the main mine cavern.

Meanwhile Qrow is with Clover and looking very cool in his new digs. They head in and discuss Qrow’s history of teamwork and how he doesn’t really do that anymore... cue sad STRQ vibes. Also he almost trips and Clover catches him, a perk of having someone at your side. After he gets the rundown from Elm, we don’t hear from thes two until they’re chasing down the Geist. It reaches its icy armored body, and gathers extra pieces from the walls around them. Qrow notices one bit it’s trying to get will pull down a support beam and warns Clover to stay back... just in time. The Geist gets away, but in its wake the two men share a conversation about Semblances. Qrow reveals his misfortune and how it burdens him to solitude or else situations like that one could go way worse. But Clover surprises him with the fact that his own Semblance is, of course... generating good luck.

The look Qrow gives him... a lot of people say it’s gay panic as he falls head over heels for this charming military man who can balance him out. I’ve come to see it a bit differently thanks to another post I saw. It’s regular panic. Panic and self-loathing, because he sees his perfect mirror image. Clover is sober, charismatic, a good leader, doesn’t ruin things with his very presence, and has skill and wisdom beyond anything Qrow has been able to demonstrate. This is everything he wishes he could have been for the kids from Volumes 4-6, the kind of huntsman he wants to have been at Beacon... a version of him who might have been able to keep Team STRQ together. But it might also be him getting a crush on a charming guy who balances him out. Regardless, they call everyone to meet up in the middle.

And meet up they do, the various types of Dust in the large central chamber having such effects as floating the dirt their boots kick up and evaporating a drop of Jaune’s sweat when it hits the ground. Cool set piece, though they need to be careful with how they fight otherwise they could set off the Dust and ruin the Amity Satellite launch site... and kill them. The Geist is hanging from a giant piece of ice jutting from the ceiling, and when the teams spot it the big boy dramatically drops down to fight them. Ruby panics upon seeing it added Dust to it’s body so they’ll have a harder time fighting it safely, but the Ace-Ops kick into action almost immediately. Elm and Vine use their Semblances to keep it in place and expose the Grimm joints between its ice limbs, which Marrow throws his weapon to sever. But that leaves some Dust crystals falling through the air, so the Flash gets the lightning in his eyes and speeds in to catch them before they hit the ground... Oops! I mean Quicksilver does his Days of Future Past thing to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust... DAMMIT! I mean Harriet gets the lightning in her eyes and pulls a Days of Future Past to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust. But the boomerang cuts another part of the arm and knocks more Dust off out of her reach. Lucky for them, Clover is there to catch it just in time. He passes the crystal to Qrow and jumps into the action.

The Ace-Ops continue to run around the Geist and to distract and disorient it, and they get the other arm off. With a flick of his lucky charm, Clover jumps up and loops his fishing line around the Geist’s mask face, and it actually hooks. What comes next brings a look of astonishment to Team RWBY’s faces. He pulls the Geist out of the ice by its face, and Harriet runs up its torso to give a jumping Shoryuken with her mech fists to kill the Grimm. But that leaves a lot of Dust crystals falling through the air, and the Ace Ops scramble to grab all of them. One remains and Harriet runs to get it... it’s a close call... and Ruby beats her to it. Who’s faster now?~ But much to Ruby’s surprise, upon seeing her in action Harriet claims Ruby’s Semblance is unlike any speed Semblance she’s ever seen, that there’s probably more to it than she realizes... or we do for that matter~ I can’t wait to see what they do with that. Yang points out that Ruby has an awful lot more going on in terms of power than Harriet realizes, earning a grin from Weiss and a very cute giggle from Blake. Regardless, mission accomplished and Qrow and Clover have a little banter over if Ruby’s catch was luck or talent. Glad to see the Atlas MVP’s acknowledge our Team has some skill of their own. Even happier to see Elm effortlessly put Ruby on her shoulder and carry her around to celebrate while Yang and Nora start dancing.

Next thing we know we’re back in Mantle as the police ship drops Forest off. He goes into an alley, where Tyrian suddenly appears under a flickering light to creep us all out and kill a short lived fan favorite character. RIP, good good protest boy. 

And that’s pretty much it. Sorry it took a while.

[salty-dracon]

ace hang invites more people to fuck around on youtube

THE REAL VAMPIRES OF RC | Interview with Adrian from PerpetualThirst!

Adrian: So being a vampire... it’s like, you know, being gay. Not that you’d understand since you’re not gay. Well, I’m not either, but I’m a vampire.

Lily: O...kay?

Adrian: Like, no one chooses to be a vampire. It’s just a thing that happens. Like when you’re gay. And you can tell because you have these huge pointy canine teeth and you really want to drink blood. Kinda like when you’re gay, and you want to fuck people that are the same gender as you. 

Val: Heh. So do people like, want to kill you for it or something?

Adrian: Yeah, I’ve gotten arrested once or twice for like, just trying to get my fill. It’s really hard. People just aren’t willing to donate their blood anymore. So, like, you have to take it. Sometimes by force. Using a knife.

Lily: So you’ve actually attacked someone for their blood?

Adrian: Yeah. It’s normal.

Val: ...

Lily: ...

Adrian: You know how the cops used to attack gay people for being gay? It’s like that.

---

BUSINESS LADY | Interview with some business lady!

Amelia: So tell me about this... YouTube.

Lily: Well, it’s the only major and general platform for sharing video with the general public. Well, not “only”, more like “biggest and easiest to use”.

Amelia: I see, I see. So, what other platforms exist?

Lily: Uhhh, Twitch?

Val: But that’s more livestreaming stuff, and it’s gamer-oriented. Oh, and DailyMotion. And Vimeo.

Lily: But DailyMotion is laggy and annoying, and Vimeo’s geared towards professional animators and stuff like that. And we’re just regular ol’ kids who edit videos of us gaming. 

Val: But YouTube has its share of problems. Like demonetizing videos that contain otherwise nonoffensive words like “lesbian” or “gay” or stuff like that. Like, now they’re demonetizing everything. And for people who basically make a job through this service, it’s absolutely devastating.

Lily: Yeah, and YouTube also does nothing for content creators that actually ruin the system for everyone else. I’m sure you’ve heard of the PewDiePie scandals. 

Amelia: Thaumas?

Thaumas: *offscreen* A very popular YouTube star has made a number of antisemetic and racist remarks in the past. 

Lily: Oh yeah, and then there was the viewcount drop for whatever reason. 

Val: Is that even over?

Lily: I have no clue.

Amelia: Ah, interesting. I know there are parts of my company which use this platform to... train others. So, what is the relation of this platform, to say, consumers like you? If you do view videos.

Angel: *offscreen* Ms. Fisher, the tea is ready.

Amelia: Does he know you run this channel?

Lily: Of course he does. We even had him show up in some of our videos. 

Amelia: Can I see?

(Lily and Val exchange worried glances)

----

UP TO Y’ALL | Talking Asexuality w/ Straight Ass Narin!

Narin: So, like, what if you four were stuck on an island together? Would you, like... fuck?

Arthur: No.

Narin: But you’re asexuals, which means you don’t necessarily dislike sex. You just... don’t want to fuck people on sight. Right?

Lily: No one fucking touches me.

Val: I don’t really care about fucking.

Brid: It’s not like I want to screw strangers.

Arthur: I’m uncomfortable with the idea.

Lily: Besides, I feel like babies would be a bad idea on a desert island. And maybe they have STDs, I don’t know.

Narin: But couldn’t you fuck Brid?

Brid: N-No! I mean, Lily’s just... she’s not someone I really like... 

Lily: Brid could have a yeast infection or something!

Narin: Just use condoms or something.

Lily: On a desert island?

Narin: Make your own!

Everyone: ............

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THIS GAME IS SATAN | Doki Doki Literature Club w/ Clubs and Hearts!

(Some jumpscare happens. Val jumps back, Lily almost screams but starts choking on her own spit and collapses on the ground, Brid looks like she’s about to have a panic attack, and Arthur looks like he’s about to cry)

Lily: GAHKKK... KFFF... water... *loud coughing*

Arthur: JESUS FUCK DONT KILL ME!

Brid: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

Val: Iswearmyheartjustfuckingstoppedohgodmybodyscramping.... fuck *falls out of chair*

(Angel walks in. He sees the kids in varying degrees of pain. After trying to contemplate what to do for a few seconds, he leaves.)

Val: I don’t think we can move on. So thanks for watching, that’s the end of this episode of Doki Doki Literature Club. Like and subscribe, comment down below, please tell us how to get the good ending.

Arthur: *actually starts crying*

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FILMING IN LILY’S HOUSE | Danganronpa Chapter 3 w/ Not Narin!

Brooke: So where’s your sister? I’m kinda getting paid by the hour to tutor her.

Lily: Who knows. Just let us know if we’re being too loud. Silently. We’re filming Danganronpa today. 

Brooke: ...what?

Val: The video game. Danganronpa.

Brooke: ... My brother’s going to pick me up, just saying. So, if you see this red Tesla out front, it’s his.

Val: Tesla? Holy shit.

Lily: His name’s Grey, right? My mom won’t stop asking me to ask him about college and shit. And then she does it herself. Oh god, he must feel awkward.

Brooke: Yeah. He’s probably not interested in you or your mom, to be honest. No wonder your sister can’t stop complaining about her... Can I take my smoke break now?

Val: You smoke?

Brooke: Oh god, not again... Listen, I don’t care if I die from lung cancer-

Val: No, we’re fine with it, just not in the house. And my dad’s downstairs talking with her mom. About tea. Just not around them.

Lily: Yeah, my mom will never let a smoker in the house. 

Brooke: ...Thank you.

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BE A MAN | Life Lessons w/ Angel!

Angel: *addressing lily and brid* While you may receive enjoyment out of nonconformity to gender ideals, it’s your conformity to various aspects that will help you rise in the educated world. For example, a woman should always be well-dressed. Never immodest, but well-dressed. 

(Lily blatantly doesn’t care, Brid’s listening but looking bored)

Angel: A woman should also be confident in her own sexuality, no matter what society tries to tell her. When you’ve ascended high enough in the social ladder, and trust me, you’ll know when, you can afford to be confident in that way. Until then, you must rely on your wits. The same applies to men. They must always follow the same rules a woman does, to uphold a standard that is to be respected. Furthermore, as women are historically more fragile and important creatures to mankind’s survival, a man must take every step to protect the women in his life, as well as to never hurt a woman themselves. Women should never be afraid to defend themselves, and speak the truth. 

Brid: Okay, I think that’s enough-

Angel: However, you may meet a man one day that you have... feelings for. Know that the hot feeling you get down there is absolutely normal for a woman your age, and is nothing to be ashamed of. You may start to crave the feeling of... something... down there. Long and phallic. While men aren’t necessary for the long and phallic nature of the object you want in there, it’s perfectly normal to want something.

Lily: Okay, okay-

Angel: If you do decide to stick objects up your vagina, men would rather you keep it a private matter. I don’t mind, of course- but men in general would rather that the only thing that enter your sacred flower be their penis-

Lily: And that’s all the time we have for this episode. Tune in tomorrow for more shenanigans involving video games and sh-stuff. Bye. Like and subscribe.

Angel: And comment in the comments section! Only nice things of course!

*Brid facepalms*

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HOW TO BOOB RESPONSIBLY | Shantae: Half-Genie Hero!

(Giga Mermaid Level)

Lily: ALL I WANNA DOOO IS SEE YOU TURN INTOOO A GIANT WOMAN

Val: WITH BIG ASS BOOBS

Lily: THIS IS LITERALLY A GAME FOR LESBIANS

Michy: *pops head in* Lesbians?

Val: OH MY GOD I DIED

Lily: Big booby mermaids!

Michy: Dude, what the fuck? I wanna see!... that is one thicc mermaid