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phantomchick · 4 years ago

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List of wips - aka struggles

Call Me A Jason Todd fic I started two years ago and still go back to poke at longingly, will the second and final chapter ever be posted? Who can know for sure.

I tell myself that I don't need Anyone (But the truth is no one needs Me) Another Jason Todd fic I haven't completed, posted two years ago for whumptober, it was the only day of whumptober I participated in, intended to be full of Captain Atom and Jason Todd interacting during the fall out of Bludhaven getting chemo'd but he doesn't show up in the first chapter and have you ever tried to read Infinite Crisis? It's a fucking mess. With this wip I have a close to justifiable excuse in that I refuse to write without knowing the canon, and reading through all the canon that's relevant is A Task.

The Monster in The Man A Merlin fic floating around my drafts, currently at a good bit over 5k wherein Merlin gets POSSESSED by an old enchantment gone mad. Written because a Merlin fic I read ended on a horror style cliffhanger and I couldn't handle it so I charged my way through the first 2k of a sequel and I've been adding to it ever since. Angst with a hopefully happy ending, if I ever frikking finish it.

The Dragon Lord In the aftermath of his father's death after Merlin inherits his father's dragon lord abilities he notices some minor changes to his interactions with his friends, the thing is that Merlin is a dragon lord and unusually what he hoards is people, things might just turn out the better for it.

Maelstrom A Naruto time travel fix it fic that wouldn't leave me alone until I got the first chapter out, ironically it has left me entirely alone since I finished the first chapter and I have no idea if inspiration for it will ever return or when that will be.

You Don't Know Anything Long long ago in a land of asks and a time of legend @paradise-runway sent me a fic request for "one where the other Bat boys find out the circumstances of Jason's death and resurrection and their reaction?" it has been lingering in my drafts haunting me ever since, someday, someday I shall fulfill what has been promised.

Of Curses and Covenants A longfic exploring the magical underbelly of Gotham's history, focuses on the intertwined relationship of the Wayne Family and the Zatara Family brought about by how often Waynes through the generations have ended up being cursed. I have an index of all the curses ready, the problem with this one is the plot and the story.

Vicki Finds a Bat (temporary title) Vicki Vale stumbles upon a still alive young adult Jason Todd at a wafflehouse on the way back from snooping into Cobblepot's latest criminal schemes. Convincing the young man to go back home to his loving father might prove more of a challenge than she thinks however. (will have a happy ending if I ever fucking finish it, for now it looms in my drafts like an unhappy gargoyle)

Hug Deficit A fic about Jason being touch starved and his family fixing it, hurt/comfort all the way, post resurrection.

Stephanie Brown and The Mansion of Man Pain Robin Era Steph, she and Alfred have pumpkin spice lattes together, it's their thing because I say it is. Includes, Alfred raised 5 boys counting Bruce, he's not sure how to handle a little girl and Bruce trying to dad plus Steph trying her best. Would be a lot easier to write if I was any good at comedy.

Another Time, Another Place Some twenty years or so after their death, Martha and Thomas Wayne appear in the middle of Wayne Manor's ground floor parlour room, the major problem with this? Not only are Bruce and Dick away, Alfred's on holiday in England! Which is why Jason as the eldest has been unwillingly nominated by his younger siblings to deal with the situation at hand. Martha and Thomas in this are heavily inspired by @unpretty's amazing portrayals in her fics with them.

- Queen Blackfire and the Lazarus Lord An au with Soulmate identifying marks: Jason Todd was having an okay time as de-facto leader of The Outlaws, a band of misfits and rebels with hearts of gold (or at least silver) saving the world the best they could and filling in the gaps the more straightforward heroes tended to miss while they were at it. Then he found out he was soulmates with the Alien Warrior Queen bent on declaring war on planet Earth if the Justice League didn't find her soulmate for her. Things with his friend, team mate and potential future sister in law Kori just got super awkward and the only good thing he can find about this situation is how angry (and protective? But maybe he's just imagining that) Bruce seems over the whole thing.

Side note: Kommand'r freaked out during the years Jason was 'dead' and accidentally brought peace to a huge chunk of space and intergalactic society via building up her empire after throwing herself into work to escape the grief.

- To Grasp The Hand of a Fox Naruto and Kurama travel back in time to save the world but unfortunately they land in the same moment that Kurama's just been put under a genjutsu by Madara Uchiha, Naruto has to make his way to Konoha and wake Kurama up before the villagers seal him away inside Mito. Can he save his friend in time to save them all?

Those Winter Sundays Mcu fic. Snapshots of Tony working hard for the avengers and no one noticing. Civil War Team Iron Man.

- Salvation Rides a Solar Wind Iron Man fic in a Science fiction / Western style fic where Tony's presence is described through the eyes of the aliens he helps. Au where the war with Thanos goes very differently. The type of fic that needs like 5 multi chapter fics in a single series to truly shine, hence why I will likely never finish it.

And We Break Away Again Jason goes back to Talia after Damian is brought back from the dead by Bruce. It's not that he begrudges his little brother his resurrection, the opposite, but he can't ignore what Bruce did to him by taking him to the magdala valley and he can't ignore what Bruce doing for Damian what he didn't do for him, (do for Dick, do for any of them besides the blood related one) means. So he decides to go back to the only person who ever seemed to understand why he wanted to avenge himself in the first place, the only person who seemed to agree that he had a right to be angry that he'd died at all, the only person he can trust to hold him together while he feels like he's falling apart that won't judge him against the heroic mold while they're at it. Not sure if this will be a oneshot or a series but we're going good Talia with this one regardless, DC's been ruining her lately but through fanfic all things are possible so fuck them.

Fan The Flames In the aftermath of a magical fire taking hold of the Daily Planet in Metropolis, Superman is missing, can Batman and the rest of the Justice League find their friend as well as the identity of the evil arsonist before Lex Luther does it first?

In a Whisper (In a Wish) Ichigo Kurosaki protects people, it's not just who he is, it's what he is, down to the core of his very soul. The only problem is, that a few weeks ago he sacrificed half his soul to protect the world. It aches inside where he knows something important used to be. When everyone he cares for is avoiding him and he's starting to feel more like a shadow than a person, that aches at him too and he can't help but wish, quietly, privately, painfully, to himself if no one else that things were different, that he wasn't so broken or so alone. But if wishes were fishes they'd fill a whole sea (just be careful not to whisper them within the hearing range of the Hōgyoku).

An Honest Conversation (Is A Bitter Thing To Crave) Jason kidnaps Bruce but things don't go as Bruce expects. First of all the reason Jason was able to kidnap him was because Stephanie of all people was his insider, why would she support someone Batman knows she's only met once. And second of all the reason he's been abducted - So that Jason can drug them both with the same substance. And when Bruce asks what he's doing this for Jason only responds, "We don't trust each other enough to have a truthful conversation otherwise" and refuses to say anything more while they wait for it to kick in. What will be revealed by this forced honest encounter on both sides? -

carrying the world on thin shoulders Midoriya Izuku deserves better from literally all the adults in his life so this is part whump part hurt comfort part fix it fic that sprawls out from time to time but it's pretty bad tbh, at some point I'll probably make it neater and give it something resembling a coherent plot. Hopefully. -

Trust Issues HP fic. Harry gets dosed with a potion that's supposed to reinforce your strongest survival instinct, the person who drugged him might've intended to be helpful but said potion happened to be at extra strength and he was given what would be a normal fix for the regular version but for this one is twice the recommended amount. Great.. The biggest problem about all this - beyond his internationally wanted godfather Sirius endangering himself by hiding out in a cave near Hogsmeade against all rational advice, his best friend Ron hating him, everyone in school besides his other best friend Hermione also hating him or avoiding him and the entire Goblet of Fire problem - is that he can't bring himself to trust anyone enough to tell them what's wrong.

Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies A post marvel avengers story, thor pov probably, made because I like to dive into a pool of thor & loki sibling feels sometimes: Starts off as Thor regales his new human shield brothers with the story of his banishment and return to Asgard ending with Loki falling into the Void and the Avengers have some questions, questions Thor had not thought of, remarks on things that Thor doesn’t know how to explain away. After he goes to Loki’s cell and asks him some things he becomes more and more angry despite having no one he can punch > Gets drunk and criticises Sif and The Warriors Three after they try to calm him down > mention of Loki still being underage by Aesir standards during Thor 1 seeing as Thor was being crowned due to being of age in the movie > heavy inspiration drawn from queen regnant by peaceheather. “For while the Treason I detest, the Traitor I love still.” Currently just an outline.

Separation Split personality disorder Red Hood and Jason Todd, alternatively, Red Hood is a demon/parasite latched on to Jay. A lot of work necessary considering right now it’s currently just an idea inspired by a cool tumblr fanart.

A Trinity of Head Wounds The dcu trinity in the aftermath of a fight against some alien invaders (or something along those lines), whump, hurt/comfort, starts with them arguing, ends with them bleeding on each other in a friendship way, whole thing should take place in a single room on the watchtower and be a oneshot so it's gotta be a short and sweet one-two gut punch with the feelings which is difficuuult.

A Stark in The Stars an mcu fic, a really over complicated mcu fic, mostly because of Steve Roger's timeline fuckery, Tony's alive but he's not supposed to be, but so are a lot of people who were dead but aren't now you might say what with the snap and the blip. The thing is that Steve's timeline fuckery is making it so that everyone keeps getting confused between the two different timelines of events, obviously more confused the more that their characters were connected to the films/the events that were altered, the punchline of this particular fic though is that Tony's still alive and he's unaware of the timeline of events where he died. And as he's currently in space he's also unaware that everyone on Earth thinks he's dead (because why wouldn't they? he died in endgame after all). That makes this fic super tough to write because like ultimate unreliable narrator right here and not sure how to tie in the whole 'oh wait actually everyone on Earth thinks I'm dead because of the canon timelines' thing in or at what point of the story to do that at. The fuckery of it all gives me a headache. Plot is hard. Also all of that's basically background to the actual focus of most of the fic thus far which is Tony travelling around space in an Iron Man suit up until the point where it won't be background.

Magic Chained Merlin au. When you put magic restraining cuffs on Magic himself you don't just bind him you bind all magic the world over. It is therefore, infinitely lucky that Uther Pendragon never became aware of this fact.

A Child in The Cold bnha Midoriya deserves better also Recovery Girl and Aizawa have shit to answer for as far as I'm concerned.

#i have #so many #wiiiiiiiips #there's probably more hidden in various word docs but #blah #personal

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thisbluespirit · 4 years ago

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James Maxwell TV/Film List

More of a guide than a recs list, because old tv/film depends so much on availability. It’s also hard as there’s nothing surviving that’s really like SotT for him (his voice is always slightly different, too & rarely the grand one from SotT) - I found it hard to find where to start back in the day, so I hope this makes it easier. However, I have starred my favourites (rated for JM content only).

I’ve divided things into categories and @jurijurijurious (or anyone) can make up their own mind as to what to go for. (Also @jurijurijurious I have NO idea what old telly you’ve already seen, so forgive me if I’m telling you things you already know.)

Where to find it: Luckily in the UK, it’s not too bad! Network Distributing are the DVD supplier to keep an eye on (they do great online sales), you can find secondhand things cheap on Amazon Marketplace & eBay, and several Freeview channels show old TV & film, especially Talking Pictures. I’ll note if things are on YT or Daily Motion, but they come and go all the time, so it’s always worth searching.

***

Film serials (ITC mainly)

British TV made on film in the US mode with transatlantic cash, so generally pretty light, episodic (continuity is almost unheard of) etc. Some turn up on ITV3 & 4 on a regular basis (colour eps).

*** Dangerman “A Date With Doris” (ITC 1964) James Maxwell is a British spy friend of Drake’s (Patrick MacGoohan) called Peter who gets framed for murder. Drake goes to Fake Cuba to rescue him by which time JM is dying from an infected wound and faints off every available surface, including the roof. It’s great. On YT. (The boxset is v pricey if you just want 2 eps.)

“Fair Exchange” (ITC 1964) JM is a German spy friend of Drake’s called Pieter who helps him out on a case. Not as gloriously hurt/comfort-y as the other, but it does have some excellent undercover dusting. (Why Patrick MacGoohan has JM clones all called variations on Peter dotted around the globeis a mystery.) On YT.

The Saint “The Inescapable Word” (ITC 1965) This is pretty terrible, but entertaining and James Maxwell plays the world’s most hopeless former-cop-turned-security guard. With bonus collapsing. On YT.

“The Art Collectors” (1967). JM is the villain of the week. It does include a v funny bit, though, where the Saint (Roger Moore) goes for JM’s fake hair (and who can blame him? How often I have felt the same!) This one’s in colour so should pop up on ITV3 or 4.

The Champions “The Silent Enemy” (ITC 1968). Surprisingly good JM content as the villain of the week who drugs sailors and steals their clothes before realising that maybe he should have worked out if he could operate a sub before he stole it.

The Protectors “The Bridge” (ITC 1974, 30 mins.) Not worth seeking out on its own, but ITV4 seems fond of it and James Maxwell gets to do some angsting and wears purple, so it’s worth snagging if you can, but too slight otherwise.

*** Thriller “Good Salary, Prospects, Free Coffin” (ITC 1975; 1hr 10mins, I think). James Maxwell moves in with Julian Glover and runs an overcomplicated murdery spy ring where they bicker a lot in between killing girls by advertisement and burying them in the back garden. What could possibly go wrong?? Anyway, it’s solid gold cheese, has bonus Julian Glover and a lot of natty knitwear. What more does an old telly fan want? (tw: Keith Barron being inexplicably the very meanest Thriller boyfriend.) On YT but tends to get taken down fast.

***

Films

Design for Loving (1962; comedy). Can be rented from the BFI online for £3.50. Isn’t that great or that bad (or that funny either), but does have JM as a dim layabout beatnik, which is atypical.

***The Traitors (1962). This is a low-key little 1hr long spy B-movie, but it’s also thoughtful and ambiguous with a nice 60s soundtrack and location work (it’s a bit New Wave-ish) and the central duo of JM and Patrick Allen are sweet and it all winds up with James Maxwell going in the swimming pool. One of the things where JM is actually American. (Talking Pictures show this occasionally & it is out on DVD as an extra on The Wind of Change.) The quality of the surviving film is not great, though.

***Girl on Approval (1962). A Rachel Roberts kitchen sink drama about a couple fostering a difficult teenager. It’s dated, but it’s also really interesting for a 1950s/60s slice of life (and very female-centric) & probably the only time on this list JM played an ordinary person.

***Otley (1969). Comedy that’s generally dated surprisingly well & is good fun, starring Tom Courtenay +cameos from what seems like the whole of British TV. JM is an incompetent red herring & there are more cardies and glasses as well as a random barometer.

Old Vic/Royal Exchange group productions

(Surviving works made by the group that JM was involved in from drama school to his death, made by Michael Elliott or Casper Wrede. I like them a lot mostly, but they are all slow and weird and earnest & not everybody’s cup of tea.)

Brand (BBC 1959). The BBC recording of the 59 Company’s (the name they were then using) landmark production, starring Patrick MacGoohan. This was a big deal in British theatre & launched the careers of everybody involved. It’s very relentless and weird but interesting & I’m glad they decided it was important enough to save. First fake beard alert of this post. It won’t be the last. On YT & there is a DVD, which is sometimes affordable and sometimes £500, depending on the time of day.

***Private Potter (1962). The original TV play is lost and this film has an extraneous storyline, but otherwise has most of the TV cast & gives a pretty good idea of why as a claustrophobic talky TV piece it made such an impact. Tom Courtenay is Private Potter, a soldier who claims to have had a vision of God during a mission & James Maxwell his CO who needs to decide what to do about this strange excuse for disobeying orders. Tw: fake eyebrows (!) and moustaches. Only available on YT.

[???]One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch (1970). Again, no DVD release (no idea why), but it is on YT. I haven’t seen this yet, but it’s another Casper Wrede effort starring Tom Courtenay and apparently JM is especially good in it. (I’m just not good at watching long things on YT and keep hoping for a DVD or TV showing.)

Ransom (1974). A more commercial effort starring Sean Connery & Ian McShane; it gets slated as not being a good action movie, but is clearly meant to be more thinky and political with the edge of a thriller. JM’s part isn’t large but Casper Wrede shoots his friend beautifully, & it’s a pretty decent film with nice cinematography, shot in Norway, as was One Day. I liked it.

[I think this post might be the longest in the world, whoops. Sorry!]

Cardboard TV (the best bit, obv)

One-off plays etc./mini-series

Out of the Unknown “The Dead Planet” Adaptation of an Asimov short story; this is very good for JM, but hard to get hold of unless you want the boxset. I think someone has some of the eps on Daily Motion. (His other OotU ep is sadly burninated.)

The Portrait of a Lady (BBC 1968). Adaptation of the novel; JM is Gilbert Osmond, so it is great for JM in quantity and his performance, but depends how you feel about him being skeevy in truly appalling facial hair. Do the bow ties and hand-holding make up for it? but he’s in 5 whole episodes, and Suzanne Neve, faced with Richard Chamberlain, Edward Fox, and Ed Bishop as suitors, chooses instead to marry the worst possible James Maxwell. Relatable. XD

***Dracula (ITV 1968, part of Mystery & Imagination). JM is Dr Seward, fainty snowflake of vampire hunters, who falls over, sobs and can’t cope for most of the 1 hr 20 mins. More facial hair, but not as offensive as last time. Suzanne Neve is back again, although now JM is nice, she’s married Corin Redgrave, who’s more into Denholm Elliott. Anyway, I love this so much because it turned out that I love Dracula as well as shaky old TV with people I like in getting to fight vampires and all be shippy. Good news - TP keep showing M&I, the DVD is out, and there are two versions of it up on YT.

The Prison (Armchair Cinema 1974). This is the one with Lincoln in it, but it’s not that great & JM isn’t in it that much, so depends how curious you are for the modern AU! (But my Euston films allergy is worse than my ITC allergy, and I watched this when very unwell, so I may have been unfair.)

Crown Court “Fitton vs. Pusey” (1973) - part of the Crown Court series, set in a town full of clones who all keep returning to court. JM is on trial for his behaviour in (the Korean war? I forget?) although he ought to be on trial for his terrible moustache. It’s not that great, but it is nice JM content. He probably did it, but for reasons, and he wibbles & panics whenever his wife leaves the courtroom. Also on YT.

*** Raffles “The Amateur Cracksman” (ITV 1975) - He is Inspector Mckenzie in the Raffles pilot & is a lot of fun. At one point when there was a Raffles fandom someone in it claimed he was too gay for Raffles, which I’m still laughing about, because Raffles. Anyway, watch out if you try to get the DVD because it is NOT included in S1, whatever lies Amazon tells. It is up somewhere online, though, I think.

Bognor “Unbecoming Habits” (1981). Some down marks for possibly the worst 80s theme & incidiental music ever, but fun & has been shown on Talking Pictures lately. JM is an Abbot running a honey-making friary that is actually a hotbed of spies, murder, gay sex and squash playing. This is the point at which he chooses to strip off on screen for the first time, because strong squash-playing abbots do that kind of thing apparently.

Guest of the week in ongoing series/serials

Since even series with a lot of continuity tended to write episodes as self-contained plays (like SotT), these are usually accessible on their own.

Manhunt “Death Wish” (1970). This is one of the most serialised shows here, but this episode is still fairly contained. WWII drama about three Resistance agents on the run across France. JM is... a Nazi agent & former academic trying to break an old friend (one of the series�� three leads, Peter Barkworth) with kindness, possibly?? (Manhunt is very angry and psychological & dark and obv. comes with major WWII warnings (& more if you want to try the whole thing), but it’s also v good.) Up on YT, I think.

Doomwatch “The Iron Doctor” (BBC S2 1971). “Doomwatch” is the nickname of a gov’t dept led by Dr Spencer Quist that investigates new scientific projects for abuse/corruption/things that might cause fish to make men infertile etc. etc. JM is a surgeon who comes to their attention because he’s a bit too in love with his computer for the comfort of one of his more junior colleagues. (I think it’s perfectly comprehensible & a nice guest turn, but it is hard to get hold of outside of the series DVD. Which, being a cult TV person, I loved a lot anyway, but YMMV!)

***Hadleigh “The Caper” (S3 1973). Hadleigh is a very middle of the road show, but watchable enough (lead is Gerald Harper, who’s always entertaining) and this is pretty self-contained as it centres around an old con-man friend (JM) of Hadleigh’s manservant causing trouble by pretending to be Gerald Harper, for reasons. JM seems to be having a ball.

Justice 2 episodes, S3 1974. He guests twice as an opposing barrister & gets to be part of some nice showdown court scenes. Again, a middle of the road drama, but stars Margaret Lockwood, who was still just as awesome in the 1970s as she was in the 1930s & 40s. On YT.

Father Brown “The Curse of the Golden Cross” (1974). JM is an American archaeologist getting death threats; stars Kenneth More as Father Brown. Just a note, though, that 1970s TV adaptations tended to be really really faithful and this is one of the stories where Chesterton comes out with an anti-semitic moment... (JM was unconscious for that bit and, frankly, I envied him.) But otherwise lots of angsting in yet another fake moustache about someone trying to kill him.

The Hanged Man “The Bridge Maker” (1975). Confession time, I have v little idea what this one was about apart from Ray Smith being an unlikely Eastern European dictator, as this whole series went over my head and was not really my thing. (Ask @mariocki they’re cleverer than me and liked it & can probably explain the plot!) I don’t know if it’s available anywhere off the DVD but on a JM scale it was v good/different as he was a coldly villainous head of security & it wouldn’t be too bad to watch alone, but there was an overarching plot going on somewhere.

Doctor Who “Underworld” (1978). This is famously one of the worst serials in the whole of classic Who, but largely because of behind-the-scenes circumstances, not the guest cast. There is some nice stuff, though, esp in Ep1 (JM is a near-immortal alien who’d like to lay down and die but still the Quest is the Quest as they say... a lot) & it’s bound to pop up on YT or Daily Motion. The DVD has extras that include v v brief bits of JM speaking in his actual real accent (which he otherwise does in NONE of these) & making jokes in character. Honestly, though, this is the only DW where the behind-the-scenes doc is genuinely the most exciting bit as they desperately invented whole new technologies & methods of working to bring us this serial, and then everybody wished they hadn’t.

*** Enemy at the Door “Treason” (LWT 1978). This is a weird episode but I love it lots - from a (v v good) series about the occupation of the Channel Islands. (So obv warnings for WWII & Nazis.) JM is a visiting German Generalmajor, but he’s come for a very unusual reason - to ask for help from his brother-in-law, a blackballed British army officer (Joss Ackland). It’s all weird and low key and JM is doomed and nevertheless probably my favourite thing of his that isn’t SotT.

* The Racing Game 2 eps (1979). Adaptation of Dick Francis’s first Sid Halley novel Odds Against (ep1) + 5 original stories for the series. This is an interesting one - JM plays Sid’s father-in-law & they have a lovely relationship that’s central to the book BUT Dick Francis loved this adaptation and Mike Gwilym who played Sid and was inspired to write a sequel Whip Hand, which he tied in with TV canon - and adopted at least three of the cast, including JM. Which means that all the Sid & Charles fanfic is also JM fic by default and it’s quite impressive. (There’s not much but it’s GOOD.) On YT.

Bergerac “Treasure Hunt” (1981). Not a major role, but pretty nice & it’s one a Christmas ep of the detective show (also set on the Channel Islands) that involved Liza Goddard’s cat burglar, which was always the best bit of Bergerac.

His guest spots in Rumpole of the Bailey (1991) “Rumpole a la Carte” and Dr Finlay (1994) are both really just cameos, but both series come round on Freeview; the Rumpole one is funny and the Dr Finlay one his last screen appearance before his death the following year.

Not worth getting just for JM: Subway in the Sky; Bill Brand and Oppenheimer.

These films only have cameos but some quite fun ones and they come around on terrestrial TV: The Damned (1962), The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) & (more briefly) Far From the Madding Crowd (1967). (I think his cameo in Connecting Doors must be at least recognisable as someone spotted him in it just based off my gifs, but it’s not come my way yet.) I’ve never been able to get hold of any of his radio performances, not even the 1990s one.

ETA: I forgot The Power Game! This is the one surviving series where he occurs as a semi-regular (at least until halfway through S1 when he went off to the BBC to be in the now-burninated Hunchback of Notre Dame). This isn’t standalone, but it’s a good series and it is on YT. See how you go with crackly old TV before you brave it but it’s the snarkiest thing ever made about people making concrete and stabbing each other in the back. JM is a civil servant who tries to run the National Export Board and is plagued by Patrick Wymark and Clifford Evans as warring businessmen.

***

[... Well, now I just feel scary. 0_o In my defence, I have been stuck home bored & ill for years, and often unable to watch modern TV while trying to cheer myself up with James Maxwell, so I didn’t watch all of this at once. It just... happened eventually after SotT. /waves hand

But if anyone feels the need to unfriend my quietly at this point, I understand. /o\]

#james maxwell #masterlist #rec list #well sort of #1950s #1960s #1970s #1980s #there are some things i haven't seen #and some things i know to be extant but unreleased #everything else is burninated or status unknown

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transthaumaturge · 5 years ago

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Ace Attorney and the Finally Kind-Of Okay Queer Representation

Note: This post contains massive spoilers for Turnabout Academy, the third case in the 3DS game Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies. There are also spoilers for a few cases in the earlier games. Please only read on if you’re okay with that.

I love Ace Attorney, but as a series it is fraught with bad queer representation. It really says something that the first queer character that I felt pretty good about was five games in. Most of this bad rep is in the form of effeminate, gay-coded men that are written as evil and/or comic relief. A brief rundown:

1) Redd White, the power-hungry CEO of Bluecorp;

2) Jean Armstrong, the cowardly café owner who lied on the stand (and who is repeatedly misgendered by the judge for comic relief);

3) Florent L’Belle, the greedy Mayor’s Aid.

All three characters are presented as a mix of negative stereotypes and bad-faith comic relief. They’re dark spots in an otherwise really fun series, and it’s made me very uncomfortable interacting with each one as I’ve played through the cases. I’ve never felt worse about Ace Attorney than when it’s punching down on gay-coded characters, all of whom were written with no redeemable qualities. I mean, two of them were the actual murderers in their respective cases! Honestly, it just sucked.

That’s why I got so excited (and also super-nervous they would botch it again) today while playing through Turnabout Academy, at the moment when one of the characters is revealed to be explicitly trans. I’ll go over the general facts and then discuss why this was a step in the right direction, but still very flawed.

In the case, Robin Newman is a high school law student and a close friend of the defendant. In the early stages of the case, Robin presents as a very masculine individual and even wears a chest brace that is supposedly proof of her manliness. This whole time, she’s represented as a very aggressive and unhappy person. But on the first day of the case, it’s revealed that she put on a feminine costume belonging to the defendant because she really wanted to wear something girly. When further pressed, she comes out in the courtroom and reveals that she’s actually a girl—the chest brace was hiding the fact that she had breasts, and her parents raised her as a boy as some terrible step in forcing her to become a prosecutor when she grew up. Afterward, she’s a very cheerful, peppy person and says that she’s grateful she finally gets to live life as a girl and pursue her dream of becoming an artist.

As a trans woman myself, I started getting really excited as soon as it became clear that Robin put on the outfit—and even more excited when it was finally revealed that she was a girl who had been raised as a boy. The first thing that tipped me off to my gender identity was wanting to wear women’s clothing, so this gender euphoria through clothing scenario was something that I could relate to on a deep emotional level. And while I got nervous at first because the blame for the murder was briefly pinned on her, that ultimately goes nowhere. This is the first queer character in an Ace Attorney game that is represented as kind, positive, and trustworthy. Robin is wonderful. I love her so much.

But now I want to dive into where parts of her portrayal are still negative, and how Capcom made several missteps that ultimately resulted in Robin not being as fleshed-out and three-dimensional as she deserved to be.

First, Robin’s reveal is still treated like comic relief at times. I was really uncomfortable when several characters said “he was a she???” or something to that effect. Given that “he-she” was once a widely used transphobic slur for trans women, it wasn’t in good taste. Also uncomfortable was the fact that as soon as the big reveal happened, she took on a bunch of hyperfeminine behavioral and vocal tics. The worst was when she started swooning every time that anything shocking happened for the rest of the time she was on the stand. It felt like this was just a way to play up the comedy side of “hey, she’s a girl now.” She was forcibly outed in the courtroom, and then magically showed no trauma or self-doubt afterward. It almost felt like she wasn’t there to be a serious character anymore. Later, she thanks Athena for outing her. I think that sends the wrong message.

What did the game do right when portraying her? I loved how visibly relieved and happy she was after coming out, though it sucks that she didn’t get to do it on her own terms. It’s later revealed that she had confided in a professor about her gender identity and had a plan to come out to the school, so that was a nice touch. I also really liked it being mentioned that she had been raised as a boy, removing most of the ambiguity about what we were seeing—that this wasn’t a self-imposed repression of her authentic self, but something that had been forced on her. They used the right pronouns for her throughout the entire rest of the case without slipping up even once, thankfully not misgendering her for laughs like they did relentlessly with Jean Armstrong two games earlier. She was also just a really pleasant character to be around afterward, so that was nice.

What would be on my wish list if I were asked to help in rewriting Robin to be a more positive example of trans representation? First, I would fix her character’s comedic behavioral tics. Most witnesses have some silly animations, but the fact that all of her tics after being outed were hyperfeminine to the point of parody made me uncomfortable. Are there other ways to make her a bit quirky and visibly feminine without punching down on her burgeoning relationship with her gender? I’m sure that there are. It would also be nice for her reaction to being out in public for the first time to be more on par with what you might actually expect if a trans woman found herself in that situation. She probably feels relieved, but also a bit scared, embarrassed, and hesitant about how she’s supposed to act now. I would love to see some of that reflected in how she talks and in how she acts. Maybe she’s daydreaming of what she can wear now that she’s out, and that’s interspersed with nervous hair-twirling and curtsying at awkward times.

I’d also like her to say something to Athena about how she wished that she wasn’t forced to come out in front of a bunch of people like that, but she’s happy that she gets to be herself. Anything other than thanking Athena for outing her with no qualifiers. The fact that she was forcibly outed needs to be portrayed as a traumatic moment. Sure, something good came out of it and Athena didn’t immediately realize that that’s where the cross-examination was going, but it shouldn’t have happened. An apology from Athena would also be nice. She should feel at least a little bit guilty about outing someone in the middle of a courtroom, even if that someone was much happier afterwards.

Finally, I’d love for there to be less ambiguity about the events that led her to this point—and ideally, something that more explicitly shows that she’s a trans woman. The way her dialogue was written, I think the writers were trying to portray her as having been assigned female at birth, but later forced by her parents to take on a male identity for…some reason. It’s never explained why they would want to inflict that on her. She’s trans regardless of her sex at birth if she was forced to live life as a boy for her entire childhood, but I think that it could be handled better. A few possibilities that I like more:

1) She was already in the middle of gender transition, and started wearing the chest brace when her breasts began to develop since she wasn’t ready to be out in public—especially to her parents, who might have cut her financial support off if they had known. After all, she was at a prestigious private legal school. That must have been a concern.

2) She was intersex, and her parents raised her as a boy when she was growing up because that’s unfortunately what happens so often with intersex children—they’re forced into one side of the binary or the other, and sometimes they find out later on that their parents didn’t make the right choice or that they don’t identify with a binary gender identity at all. Robin had breasts because she was born with both male and female sex characteristics, and try as her parents might to force her into manhood, she still had a uterus. Not every intersex person is trans, but plenty are.

3) Or just…remove the bit where she’s revealed to have breasts altogether, and keep in the fact that she’s a girl who was raised as a boy! Why does she have to be “a biological female in disguise”? While either of the above two options would have been good ways to explain the fact that she had breasts, I’m not giving the writers enough credit to have thought of one or the other. If they had, it would have been hinted at. On some level, it felt like they were saying “it’s okay everyone, she’s not really trans. Look, she had breasts all along!” If that’s what they were trying to do, then screw it; just change the reveal but nothing else about the character, and make her an unabashedly AMAB trans woman.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the topic. I recognize that this was super long-winded, but I needed to get my thoughts out—anyone who’s interested in this and got something from the long read, I’m glad that I was able to provide some insight. And I’m not even done with the series yet! Maybe they did do better! I don’t have my hopes up, but maybe! Anyway, please feel free to reblog this post with your thoughts or message me if this inspired any opinions of your own. As long as those thoughts aren’t “Robin isn’t really trans or queer at all.” I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

Have a great day, everyone! And thanks for reading!

#thaumaturgethoughts #ace attorney #dual destinies #Robin Newman #trans positivity #queer representation #trans character

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somniatcr · 5 years ago

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character study series--- d.azai o.samu

where do i even begin--- dazai is possibly... probably... the most complex character within my little roster. and, like izaya ( who i’ve already done a post like this for, which can be found here ) and the rest of my muses i suppose, my dazai is very headcanon based ( though i do take a lot of reference from the series itself, i tend to portray him as i see fit and most enjoy doing so without sacrificing the things that i believe to be pivotal to his character ); to be entirely honest, when it comes to the manga, for bungou stray dogs and for nearly every series to ever exist, i’m not, nor do i imagine that i will ever be, entirely caught up.

all that said, let us delve into dazai; into the way that he thinks, the way that he functions, the way that he acts, and generally who is he as a person ( as well as how i, personally, view and portray his character ).

let me first kick things off with a significant change that i’ve made in regard to his character, in how he’ll be portrayed here on this blog. dazai canonically has a deeply troubled mind. though his frequent, and oftentimes wistful, talk of death and his suicidal behaviors are rarely, if ever, taken seriously within the series itself ( rather being treated as a source of comedic relief, which does somewhat bother me, but it is what it is ), likely due to this penchant that he has for jesting and for over-dramatics, the reality that his mind is very dark and very deeply troubled remains. he feels as though there is this deep, dark hole ( an emptiness, a void ) within him that he’s incapable of filling, regardless of however hard that he tries. a large majority of his life was spent dedicated to this, to trying to fill it, to trying to find some sort of reason to live ( which is why he had initially aligned himself with the port mafia to begin with; he believed that he could, perhaps, find what he’d been searching for, what he’d been longing for, if he lived this life of conflict, of bloodshed and war ), though, obviously, this was to no avail. and while, yes, he will at times use self-depreciating humor, and while, yes, at times his humor may be dark, a bit morbid, his depression and his suicidal thoughts, tendencies, are not rooted in comedy, they are not a source of comedic relief and i, personally, don’t write him, portray him, in that particular light.

that said, does he ultimately want to die? in his youth, yes, absolutely. he hadn’t yet met anyone that he cared for ( he had no attachments, had never felt nor experienced any genuine form of love ). he too no joy from life, spent all this time searching, aching, for purpose, yet couldn’t find it.

and then he met people who meant something. he met chuuya who, though he was adamant that he couldn’t stand him, was interesting. he met odasaku, who managed to break through his barriers unlike anyone before ( or after ) him, who wormed his way into dazai’s heart and gave him this friendship that he never knew that he’d wanted, nor needed, who provided him with a much needed positive role model and with this beacon of hope. this--- this was pivotal in setting about a turning point, in finally setting him on a different path, in giving him the purpose that he’d been searching for all those years. although an irrefutable tragedy, oda’s death ultimately brought about new life in that it ( and in oda’s dying words ) gave dazai a will to live.

all the same, he does still suffer from depression, he’s an insomniac, and he does still struggle with suicidal ideation ( in that he still thinks about death, about dying and all of the ways that he could go about doing it, fairly often ).

moving on,

this is a man with a very dark and violent past, an important thing to keep in mind. while little is known about his past bar from the knowledge that he was affiliated with the port mafia, that he’s been rooted within this world since he was around fourteen years old, back when he met mori ougai ( as well as the fact that he managed to wind up being the youngest executive in port mafia history ), it can be surmised that his time spent working beneath mori likely, at least in part, has resulted in his penchant for apathy, his tendency to emotionally detach himself from others, from death, and from traumatic experiences as a whole ( he’s actually been shown attempting to fill that hole in his heart, in fact, to find joy, to feel something in causing harm to and in killing others, though he never quite does manage to get what he wants ). his experience as a killer and as highly skilled interrogator ( it’s worth noting that he, in fact, specialized in torturing others for information; he’s even once gone so far as to state that there wasn’t a single prisoner who ultimately didn’t wind up spilling everything when he was the one tasked with retrieving it--- and while still being a child ), has been alluded to on more than one occasion and, even to this day, he still manages to command respect and to inspire fear throughout the port mafia, albeit no longer being a member himself.

he is unconcerned with the idea good and evil. while he currently affiliates himself with the armed detective agency, now working to protect ( and to save ) the city and the lives of its inhabitants, his motivation to do so was primarily spurred by the words of a friend prior to his passing; ’ be on the side that saves people. if both sides are the same, be a good man; save the weak and protect the orphans. neither good nor evil means much to you, i know… but that’d make you at least a little bit better. i know better than anyone because… i am your friend. ’

it’s these words, oda sakunosuke, that finally sets him on a different path, that leads him to meeting the members of the armed detective agency, that leads him to meeting nakajima atsushi, an orphan who’s life he, ultimately, does wind up making a difference in, providing him with much needed guidance ( though to say that all of his methods, and all of his motives, in doing so are genuinely good, genuinely selfless, and always would be a little hard-pressed--- also, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is the second orphan to have been taken beneath his wing; the first being akutagawa ryunosuke who’s experiences with dazai were significantly different, the training that he endured beneath him being absolutely hellish, horrific, and cruel ).

ultimately, with him, the ends justify the means and, so, the actions, whether good or evil, mean little to him. he’s willing to use any means, any method, to achieve his goals; this includes playing dirty, causing harm to others, killing / death when deemed necessary, and so on and so forth. such as, for example, purposefully deflating the airbag in someone’s car prior to a car ‘accident’, in turn causing extensive injuries that he’s only willing to have healed by a fellow ability user in exchange for having a young girl pardoned of her past crimes. the end goal was ultimately good, sure, but the means of getting there were anything but.

he’s also an exceptional liar. while his ability to intricately weave together falsehoods, from the most small and insignificant of lies to the most complex of tales, comes naturally, his time spent working for the port mafia only honed his abilities further. and while is doesn’t lie constantly, perhaps not even frequently ( instead opting to simply abstain from providing an answer altogether ), he is, in himself, a walking fabrication, putting on a perennial facade all his own; fake. his true thoughts and emotions are rarely so much as even alluded to, frequently hidden behind a mask of his creation, perfectly crafted and nearly impossible to crack. furthermore, his true intentions, frequently, are left unrevealed until he, himself, chooses to reveal them. in truth, there isn’t a person alive who truly knows or who genuinely understands him. there are a select few ( such as mori ougai, nakahara chuuya ) who come, in their own way, close through all of their time spent working with him ( a former mentor, a former partner ), though none are able to comprehend his actions, his mind, in their entirely, not quite the way that oda was once able to.

it doesn’t help that he is also a man of mystery and deflection. while he may talk and act as though he’s an open book ( and believe me, he does just this and often ), he rarely, if ever, speaks of himself, in regard to his past and present alike. thoughts are locked away, left solely for him to ruminate upon, and emotions are kept hidden, locked deep, deep within, if not attempted to be brushed away in their entirety. furthermore, he has a habit of leaving his comrades, his friends if you can quite call them that, in the dark when it comes to long-game plans and strategies that he has devised and it’s virtually impossible to get a straight or genuine answer from him upon asking a question, so most times it isn’t even worth the effort that it takes to form the words ( not that this has ever stopped anyone from trying, much to their ultimate chagrin ).

and, finally, a basic character and personality breakdown,

name. DAZAI OSAMU, 太宰治 age / d.o.b. 22 / JUNE 19 species. HUMAN / GIFTED ethnicity. JAPANESE gender. CIS-MALE, HE / HIM occupation. DETECTIVE / PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE ( FORMER ) affiliation. ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY / PORT MAFIA ( FORMER ) height. 181 CM / 5'11" weight. 67 KG / 147-148 LBS build. SLIM, LONG-LIMBED hair color. DEEP BROWN, ESPRESSO; MILD, NATURAL WAVES eye color. RED-BROWN, CHESTNUT blood type. AB r / o, s / o. DEMIROMANTIC PANSEXUAL noticeable features. WEARS BANDAGES THAT COVER THE LARGE MAJORITY OF HIS BODY ( * explanation to be provided below ); ONLY HIS FACE, HANDS, AND FEET REMAIN UNCOVERED

ability. NO LONGER HUMAN ** his ability allows him to effectively nullify the abilities of others entirely upon contact, whether with the user themselves or a physical manifestation of their ability. he’s often referred to as an anti-ability user or anti-gifted. zodiac. GEMINI religious belief(s). ATHEIST mbti. INTJ alignment. CHAOTIC NEUTRAL temperament. CHOLERIC mental health. DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL IDEATION pos traits. QUICK THINKER, SHARP, IMAGINATIVE, CLEVER, STRATEGIC, DECISIVE, SELF-CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT, DETERMINED, OBSERVANT, PERCEPTIVE, CALM, COLLECTED, LOGICAL, OPEN-MINDED, QUICK LEARNER, ADAPTABLE, WELL-READ, A JACK OF ALL TRADES neg traits. SECRETIVE, DETACHED, JUDGEMENTAL, ARROGANT, OVERLY DRAMATIC, UNPREDICTABLE, CONFUSING / DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, CAN BE OVERLY ANALYTICAL, HAS DIFFICULTY WITH ( AND LOATHES ) HIGHLY STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENTS, PRONE TO APATHY, PLAYS DIRTY, CAN BE CRUEL, FREQUENTLY INGENUINE neu traits. WITTY, TEASING / JESTING, BLUNT, SOMEWHAT OF A FLIRT, PRONE TO SHIRKING CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITIES, HAS A HABIT OF EMBARRASSING OTHERS ( VERY INTENTIONALLY )

he covers himself in bandages for two very specific reasons. the first being that his body is absolutely riddled with scars; while some were obtained during his port mafia days, equally as many were self-inflicted. the second, they serve as a sort of security blanket, providing him with an unconventional source of comfort.

he’s very well read. he enjoys novels of a wide variety, though he’s usually only seen reading books about suicide or death. he isn’t partial to poetry, however.

he isn’t a big eater whatsoever. he’s generally a one meal per day sort of person and doesn’t snack particularly often furthermore.

he listens to music fairly often during his free time ( when he isn’t reading ). while he doesn’t have much of a preference as far as genres are concerned, he does gravitate primarily toward music that he finds calming, more mellow, or relatable.

he’s highly skilled in the art of lock-picking. he could chalk it up to his time spent with the port mafia, but in truth it’s a talent he’s had since he was a kid.

he doesn’t have a drivers license. he’s never been especially concerned with getting himself one and doesn’t really find that he feels the need for one even now.

he dislikes fizzy and / or bubbly beverages. for the most part, he’s a tea or a coffee drinker, although he’s fine with water, too. also, whiskey. he loves a good whiskey.

he enjoys good company ( although he finds that it’s rare to come by ), good and meaningful conversation, summer storms, late night rain showers, autumn leaves, seafood, and fresh, clean scents.

he dislikes overly sweet foods, the sound of babies crying ( and loud noises in general ), dogs, hot weather, and boring, tedious, and / or repetitive work ( such as paperwork, for example ).

he frequently smells of soap, laundry detergent, and cotton intermingled with a natural scent all his own; fresh, warm, and clean with a hint of musk.

#☆. ( hc )#☆. ( character study )#☆. ( osamu )#and y'all thought izaya's #was long holy christ #depression //#self-harm //#suicide //#violence //#death //

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tellywoodtrash · 6 years ago

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Heyy! I really loved your analysis on The Great Indian Dysfunctional Family! Could you give your honest review on it? I mean how did you find it's plot, the story, acting, directing all in all the show and what would you rate it? Thank You! Have a nice day! :)

Hello anon!

I’ve got to thank you for sending in this question, coz I did mean to do an overall review for the show beyond the lbs, and was just dragging my feet and being a lazy POS about it. You’re keeping me honest. :)

Tbh, I’m not sure how exactly to rank or rate this show. Until Ep 6. (the one with the big reveal) I really liked it. I really really liked it. But then the show just took a bizarre turn after the reveal. The plot went kinda off the rails, most of the characters were acting very strangely, and I was just left wondering why they built all this up and made me care about these characters just to bring it all crashing down like this.

The story

Nothing new, it was basically a Kapoor & Sons ripoff; right down to the whole vibe; everything from the setting at this hillstation-esque area, to the house parties, to the interpersonal dynamics (the feuding brothers, one of whom is oblivious as to why the other one is so resentful of him; the chill idgaf elder with the shenanigans; husband-wife tension; one of the characters is gay…) to how it all played out (reveal at a fun party right after a troubled marriage got a second wind, sudden untoward death of a parent, brothers making peace after…) all seemed straight up taken from that movie. They adjusted it a little here and there to accommodate the characters and make it seem different, but overall, it was just Kapoor & Sons, the TV version.

The plot

Like I said above, I really liked the way the show was written till Ep. 6. They built up the world really nicely; the family dynamics were uneasy yet stable in a manufactured way, and it all goes to hell with the entry of the ‘outsiders’ Samar and Sonali. I liked their relationship; they seemed like a couple who not only loved each other romantically, but also genuinely liked each other as who they are as a person. They’re still in their honeymoon phase, unaware/blind of each other’s more icky personality traits. Their coupling is so perfect, that even his own mother feels vindicated when they have a minor tiff, claiming no husband and wife are ever THAT happy. On the other hand we have Vikram and Geeta, who are barely holding on to their marriage; their tension is out in the open, even as much as Geeta tried to play it down. I liked how they paralleled the two couples. They also built up the suspense well; it was pretty obvious that there had been infidelity on Geeta’s part and Mridul’s paternity was in question, but the way they ramped it up was good. All this playing around Addu’s coming out, and the social ramifications of such an act in small town India, was well done. It’s after Ep. 6 that everything goes downhill. Samar and Geeta’s characters get reallllllllly unlikable. Their only regret seems to be that everyone found out, rather than the actual deed. And neither of them seem to be really apologetic? Samar kinda brushes it off after making two, three guilty faces/dialogues, Geeta picks fights with Vikram who’s trying to make peace with her despite the fact that she slept with his brother? Ek toh chori, upar se seena jori. Just distasteful. The pace of the show also suffers post ep. 6; everything just unfolds so quickly, yet nothing is really happening, and I was just confused as to what the point of all this was, and how the characters would eventually resolve this emotional quandary. But also, with the insufferable way most of them were acting, I didn’t really care either. I was just like eh, whatever, you’ve made your beds, now lie in it. The writing for all the characters just made me apathetic to their fates. The convenient killing off of PL was just dumb and contrived. Also confusing, because they had this story-telling device of starting every episode a little bit in the future and then flashing back to the point that led to this. Idk why in just that one episode (#9) they start with that scene of her at home, high on pain meds, signing to Begum Akhtar in her sleep and then suddenly it was cut to her dying in a hospital? Just weird, and it really bothered me. But again, I was just so done with these dumbasses that I didn’t actually care.

But I do have some questions about stuff that was faulty/left unresolved:

Why was Geeta talking to Kashyap on the phone saying she “needs” him and asking him to take her away from all this? Just a random red herring to throw us off? That’s pretty bullshit.

The “clues” that Sonali used to put together the secret were pretty shaky at best. He apparently lied about landslides in the area (which… is a weird lie to keep telling over and over about a place? But also the policeman who stopped the vehicle in the earlier ep. clearly stated that it was because of a landslide. So he wasn’t even lying…) and about when/why he learned sign language? How does that lead you to ‘OMG Samar’s the father of Mridul’??

The whole Mridul is premature thing and was conceived when Vikram wasn’t in Kannuri thing. Geeta/Samar clearly slept together when Vikram was there. So……… That whole plot point is just null and void. He could be either brother’s kid.

Did Addu get to go to Delhi afterall? I hope she did. She deserved to get outta this close-minded small town and go live her life in a place where she could exist on her own terms.

What were we supposed to make of the ending for Samar/Sonali? I mean, the show seemed to imply they stayed together; but from what we’d seen of Sonali as a character, she didn’t seem like the type who could make peace with disingenuity like that… Even if Samar and Sonali did stay together, it was highly unlikely she would be able to hang around with Geeta/Mridul ever again. Idk, they just left that hanging up in the air, and it was unsatisfying.

The cast

Kay Kay as Vikram: It’s completely his show. His character is the best written, and the most satisfying one to follow from start to finish. And he plays all the different facts of Vikram well: the angry, bitter man who’s lost himself as well all emotional connection with his family, the exasperated dad trying to come to terms with Addu being gay/Mridul’s effeminate tendencies, the more charming husband/loving big brother he was in the past before all of it went to shit… He plays all of it really well. You start off disliking the character, but the more you see of him, you gradually come over to his side. It’s not that he hasn’t made/isn’t currently making mistakes of his own, but you grow to sympathize with him. I also loved his brief bits of comedy. I’d like to see Kay Kay in lighter roles like these more often.

One qualm though; idk why they had him wear those tacky light-coloured lenses (reminding me of that 2006 -2010ish time in tellywood, when everyone wore those damn lenses. The entire cast of DMG used to wear the same colour and it just looked bizarre.)

Swaroop Sampat as PremLata: She was the actor is was most excited for in this show, and they just fucked me over so bad. She’s hardly in the damn show. I don’t understand why they would underutilize her talents like that. Also I’m not sure of how to feel about PL as a character; she did seem to love her family a lot, but was also very hands-off and just a witness in the bg to everything? She just seemed very uninvolved in whatever was going on, to the point of apathy, just caring about her daily chais and nothing else. But whatever few scenes Swaroop did get, she was radiant and lovely in, as expected.

Barun Sobti as Samar: I always enjoy watching Sobti. Especially in the role of a straight-man to all the madness around him. He’s so enjoyable with his genuine reactions of perplexed and exasperated and amused. But I feel like… Other than in IPK, he isn’t really ACTING. Both in Tu Hai Mera Sunday and here, he plays this chill dude, which is just who he is IRL. It’s just toooooo easy breezy, and I can see that he’s not really putting any major effort into it; compared to Arnav, whom he played in a very measured manner. Also Samar as a character stops being likable after the reveal. His reason for sleeping with Geeta is hardly compelling enough, and so is his demeanour towards Sonali after the reveal. He just doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of what he’s done. The character didn’t deserve to get the easy resolution that he did, especially because he didn’t do any work for it. Bas sabne aise hi maaf kar diya.

Eisha Chopra as Sonali: She’s a revelation. I think I’ve seen her here and there in some web sketches, but this is the first time I’m REALLY seeing her. She’s very charming and confident and a delight to watch. I’ll surely be watching her web series What The Folks in the coming days. Sonali as a character is kind of a mixed bag though. She seemed like a strong, intelligent woman coming into the show, but her bizarre turn into becoming an obsessive snoop who just wants to uncover the family secrets gets pretty annoying. There’s also a brief bit where she’s being a whiny brat for no real good reason? Other than that, I really liked Sonali as a character.

Shriswara as Geeta: A good measured performance. Her character wasn’t clearly defined in the promo, and I thought she’d be a long-suffering wife, but I’m glad she wasn’t. She did keep mum a lot to keep the peace with Vikram (because of her guilt?) but did counter him when required. Her bond with Mridul was the purest, but it was strange how she had no connection with Addu at all? Most of Addu’s parental interaction is with Vikram, despite their tension. She seems to have zero relationship with her mom. I also disliked the turn Geeta’s character took after the reveal. Like I said before, there was no real good reason for her to sleep with Samar. It was just such a flimsyyyyyyyyyyyy plot point. Upar se, she didn’t even seem contrite about it. Like, idk where she got off having that tone with Sonali asking her what her problem is, for wanting to leave after the reveal. It was just jarring. Overall I liked how Sriswara played all the different bits of Geeta; the patient wife just on the brink of losing it, the indulgent mother to Mridul, the woman in a million different clubs because she’s just trying to fill the void in her. As an actor she was very likable, it’s just that the writing for her character was shaky af.

Sanaya Pithawala as Aditi (Addu): I don’t really relate to teenage angst anymore and get annoyed by it, so I can’t really say I connected with her character, but I did feel for her and her heartbreak when Nandu crushes her brutally. I also liked her cool ‘deal with it’ attitude post the incident and the confidence with which she navigated her coming out. The plot with that boy Shashi though, it was confusing… There seemed a legit moment where she was into him. I guess she’s still really figuring out who she is as a person. Her best scenes have to be with Vikram, whether they’re clashing, she’s purposely taking the mick outta him, or trying to make up with him. She was fine, watchable, but I was very distracted by her bad wig.

Prithviraj Sarnaik as Mridul: The purest. The face of an angel. The only character worth rooting for in the show. (I mean Addu too, I guess, but I found her kinda obnoxious at times.) I normally do not like child actors, but this kid was very adorable. He really seemed to have a maturity to him; silently observing and taking in everything. Other than PL, he’s the only one who really gets everything that’s going on here in this shitshow of a family. I felt really bad about how all these badly behaved adults probably traumatised the kid for life. But overall, it was a charming little performance and I wish they’d made him the overarching narrator of the show, coz I loved his little voiceovers every now and then.

Overall

Overall, I’d say this is okay for a one-time watch. It will disappoint you towards the end; because you just stop caring for these characters, which is a mark of crappy writing. But it does have an able star cast that does the best they can with the material on hand, so if you have some time to kill, and like these actors from other stuff, it’s worth a dekko (esp. since each ep is only about 15 - 18 minutes long; you can be done with the whole show in about 3 hours…)

#the great indian dysfunctional family #tt answers #tt reviews

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delistravaganza · 2 years ago

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Tagged by @artemideaddams

This will be a weird post because my favorite things in the world tend to inspire me DIScomfort rather than comfort, but I'll try my best 😅

Comfort movie: The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's pretty much the only movie I have rewatched again and again. Hedwig and the Angry Inch comes close. I have also rewatched Fucking Åmål several times (it's actually a pretty cute movie despite the title), West Side Story (a classic), Gone With The Wind, But I'm A Cheerleader (featuring Clea Duvall AND Natasha Lyonne), Let The Right One In (the original Swedish version) and The Exorcist. Weirdly enough, horror films may actually be one of my "comfort" genres. I also love classical romantic comedies such as Ninotchka.

Comfort food: Bread, tomato, olive oil and a pinch of salt. Nothing better in this world. Add a slice of cheese and you've got heaven.

Comfort clothes: Pyjamas. I usually wear long-sleeved XXL ones, when the heat allows.

Comfort book: Old comic book series such as Mortadelo y Filemón. I still own a few (dozen) volumes of them and I still giggle at their neverending slapstick humor. I also re-read old children's classics, such as The Outsiders or Matilda. Do NOT try to read Roald Dahl's adult-oriented tales for comfort. Ever. At all.

Comfort songs: Anything from the 80s. There are soooo many jewels that hit the radios back then, and lyrically, some were amazing. Nena's 99 Red Balloons is an upbeat, radio-friendly song talking about nuclear apocalypse. It was a harsh decade despite all the bright colors and the shoulder pads, which, by the way, should totally come back in fashion.

Comfort game: I've played LiS many times but also many visual novels. Some of the ones I've been most engaged with were those of Christine Love. I think I have a 100% completion rate on Analogue: A Hate Story and Hate Plus. So many feelings for the two virtual girls and the story behind them.

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Tags: Curious about @gellavonhamster but I don't know if she did it already? Any mutuals, feel free to @ me.

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destiny-smasher · 7 years ago

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So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS #Life is Strange Before the Storm

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massmurdera · 7 years ago

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Best/Worst of 2017

Objectively speaking, 2017 was a tire fire of a year in America and I knew that going in. I’ll leave out the Trump bullshit and how I feel. Americans/people like being outraged, but it gets old to wake up every day in a panic. I did when Deflategate was happening to Tom Brady, but that had no real-world implications. Everyday, I was waking up to check Twitter to see what bad shit was happening. I think I did a solid job cutting it out as best I could and not letting it make me go mad.

It was a mostly boring year and then it picked up towards the very end. I might not feel good about America and where we’re I think we’ heading while holding out hope that this ends soon (I’m naïve and think we’re completely/totally fucked) but I guess I feel all right about where I’m going and how I feel about those close to me in my life. I’m controlling what I can control. Things could be better, but I’m all right.

TV Funniest go-to show: Desus and Mero Late Night/Politics: John Oliver Favorite TV show (non-Game of Thrones): American Vandal TV SHOW (non-Game of Thrones): 1) Legion 2) Stranger Things 3) Godless 4) Dark 5) Sneaky Pete 6) Mindhunter 7) Marvelous Mrs Maisel 8) Better Call Saul 9) the Deuce 10) Fargo 11) Ozarks 12) 13 Reasons Why 13) Lethal Weapon 14) Riverdale 15) Mr Robot 16) This is Us TV Comedies: 1) American Vandal 2) Big Mouth 3) Nathan for You 4) Rick and Morty 5) GLOW 6) Veep 7) Brockmire 8) Atypical

I’m biased that a family friend of mine co-created American Vandal and his brother is on the show too in a minor role but it REALLY is great. It sounds stupid that older family members scoffed at or were bewildered by, but it’s far smarter social commentary than it appears. It nailed high school so well.

BEST NEW CHARACTERS Funniest: Hormone Monster/Monstress (Big Mouth) Best Jeff Spicoli that should get a spin-off: Dylan and the Wayback Boys (American Vandal) Best Philip Seymour Hoffman: Edward Kemper (Mindhunter) Most fun/crazy role: 1) Aubrey Plaza (Legion) 2) Susan Sarandon (Feud) Perfect role: Marc Maron (GLOW), Nikki Swango (Fargo) Best drunk: Brockmire Sorely Overlooked: Clayne Crawford in Mel Gibson’s role (Lethal Weapon) Star-Making: Katherine Langford (13 Reasons Why); Rachel Brosnahan (Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

DISAPPOINTING FROM GREAT SHOWS: Curb Your Enthusiasm; Fargo; the Americans; Game of Thrones; Silicon Valley; Veep Shows I half-watch but could give up on: Big Little Lies; Feud; Preacher; Runaways; Shameless; the Sinner; SMILF; SNL; This is Us; White Famous WORST Shows: 1) Twin Peaks 2) the Leftovers 3) the Defenders 4) Taboo 5) Top of the Lake Didn’t work but should have: Vice Principals -had moments Absolute Worst: any and all political panel/news shows (Fox News, CNN, MSNBC). Burn them all to the ground.

Still need to watch: American Gods; BoJack Horseman; Brooklyn 99; Carmichael Show; Catastrophe; Good Place; Halt and Catch Fire; Handmaid’s Tale; Master of None; Punisher

Overall: the new shows were damn good, but the established great shows were all letdowns.

MOVIES 5 STARS: CLASSIC: 1) Get Out 4 STARS: 2) Free Fire 3) John Wick II 4) Dunkirk 5) Star Wars 6) Logan 3 ½ stars: Brawl in Cell Block 99; Good Time; Logan Lucky 3 STARS RENTALS: WATCHABLE: Atomic Blonde; Baby Driver, Babysitter, Big Sick; Blade Runner 2049; Fate of the Furious; Okja; Shot Caller, Spiderman, Split; War for Planet of the Apes; Wind River; Wonder Woman 2 STARS-DIDN”T LIKE BUT DECENT PARTS: Girls Trip; Guardians of Galaxy 2; Ingrid Goes West; Lego Batman; War Machine Most boring/dumbest critic favorite: Personal Shopper Cool twist made up for okay movie: Split Coolest soundtrack/score: Good Time, Dunkirk Most Over-the-Top Violent: Brawl in Cell Block 99 Overrated: Baby Driver, Wonder Woman Disappointed: Lego Batman

NEED TO CHECK OUT AFTER I READ BOOK: Lost City of Z; It HAVEN”T SEEN: Call Me By Your Name; Coco; Columbus; Darkest Hour; Disaster Artist; Florida Project; Justice League; Lady Bird; Molly’s Game; mother!; Mudbound; Phantom Thread; the Post; Shape of Water; Thor; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

I’ve got catching up to do. But I think the year in movies wasn’t good.

Best Documentaries: 1) the Defiant Ones 2) Get Me Roger Stone 3) the Keepers 4) Jim & Andy BEST NETFLIX STAND-UP SPECIALS: 1) Dave Chappelle 2) Patton Oswalt 3) Ali Wong 4) Marc Maron 5) Neil Brennan 6) Bill Burr 7) Rory Scovel 8) Mike Birbiglia

Burr’s my favorite comic and seeing him live he is the best comic alive but it didn’t translate live. And he cut out so much of his best stuff. Chappelle might be more natural and have a sense of the moment though. Overplayed controversy -outrage over Chappelle’s jokes. Yeah, I don’t think they actually saw his act and just listened, out of context, to the jokes. He’s still as good as it gets. People just want to be outraged and have things be PC. Comics maybe hype that up, but it’s true. Underrated/Lost moment no one saw: Def Jam 25th Anniversary Special wasn’t good but Chappelle’s 7-minute improv off-the-cuff bit is secretly funnier than anything he did in his 2 specials. I don’t think any other comic alive or ever could have pulled that off as smoothly/naturally.

Worst special: Amy Schumer (like her, but she wasn’t ready to be released and nothing worked: felt like she wanted in on Netflix $ guys like Chappelle/Seinfeld were getting. I get the fairness, but uh, Chappelle’s specials felt like an event.

OTHER SPECIALS (comedy album/non-HBO) SOLID: TJ Miller; Joe DeRosa; Kurt Braunholer; Brian Posehn Didn’t totally work for me but I like them: Jerrod Carmichael, Tiffany Hadish

STILL NEED TO CHECK OUT: Ari Shaffir; Jerry Seinfeld; Brian Regan; Jen Kirkman; Judd Apatow; Hasaan Minaj; Michelle Wolf; Chris Gethard

Just loaded with too much good comedy. It’s never been better with podcasts, Netflix.

Favorite Podcasts: 1) Chapo Trap House 2) Pardon My Take 3) Frotcast 4) Bill Burr 5) Fuck the Chargers 6) Inactives 6) Revisionist History 7) Dollop 8) My Favorite Murder 9) Hound Tall Best Dollop Episodes of the Year: 1) Falling Pilot 2) Falling Pilot 3) Uber 4) Trump 5) Trump part 1 & 2 5) Enron 6) Phantom of the Open Dollop can be hit-or-miss. But the hits? Are as good as podcasting gets for history, comedy, and understanding the times we live in now. They would make for classic movies/docs. but specializes in overlooked, ridiculous stories that may have had massive historical ramifications (Dope Lake, Falling Pilot qualify for that except the ramifications part). Every once in a blue moon, they nail something timely (Enron) or current (Opium; Uber; Trump). They are the calm in the eye of a storm of utter insanity. Best individual episodes: -Bertcast (#217: Dave Anthony/Gareth Reynolds)-funny stand-up stories -Joey Diaz on Rogan/Bertcast -Tom Segura/Bert Kreischer Weight Loss Challenge (Joe Rogan) first episodes of the year)-funny/strangely inspiring. They did another challenge later in the years -Revisionist History-Miss Buchanan’s Period of Adjustment (Brown v Board of Education)-the unintended and disastrous consequences still felt today of why the decision was awful in a way you didn’t consider. It’ devastating to hear -Crabfeast #292 (Gareth Reynolds) talks about being hired to entertain kids birthday parties for 5 years as a side job while trying to make it in comedy. I love stories of failure/struggle at shit jobs Funniest podcast: 600 Dollar Podcast-bummer it ended Frotcast is my next favorite for humor (Best of 2016/2017 episodes are most accessible rather than just being dropped in). Bill Burr always. Best guest on a podcast: James Adomian as Gorka (Chapo Trap House) Best political: Chapo Trap House (and, yes, I am a Grey Wolf) Best Sports: Pardon My Take Best fan hate/schadenfreude: Fuck the Chargers Most underrated: Butterfly Effect (Jon Ronson)-only 6 episodes 3 hours 30 minutes; does what Malcolm Gladwell does but more long-form on the porn industry History: Dollop (over Common Sense/Hardcore History) Best local radio show/podcast: Matty & Nick Overrated/Lukewarm/Forgettable: Crimetown; S-Town; Pod Save America, Larry Wilmore Crimetown and S-Town’ are basically just accents. I didn’t like them the way other people did. Pod Save America is for boring people who don’t listen to podcasts and don’t know or bother for better alternatives. They are inoffensive dudes: it’s VERY basic. I think ‘Lovett or Leave It’ is better depending on the panel. Worst: Missing Richard Simmons Other podcasts I enjoy-Binge Mode, Bodega Boys, Dumb People Town, Emotional Hangs, FOFOP, Handsome Rambler (Hannibal Burress), Lovett or Leave It, We’ll See You in Hell Need to check out more-Crab Feast, Cum Town, In the Dark, Mogul Listen to if they have a good guest -Bertcast, Joe Rogan, WTF, You Made it Weird BEST EVENTS: 1) Pats-Steelers AFC Championship 2) Pats-Texans AFC Divisional 2nd half 3) Chance the Rapper: Boston Calling 4) 1975: Boston Calling 5) Thrice/Circa Survive: House of Blues sadly I couldn’t see Thrice or the stage at all in the mezzanine but I wasn’t mad 5) My Favorite Murder: Wilbur 6) Turnover: Royale 7) Hannibal Burress: Boston Calling 8) Frightened Rabbit: Boston Calling 9) Norm MacDonald @ Wilbur Theatre: Netflix taping 10) watching my friend mosh to Converge while I held his sweatshirt

WORST EVENTS: 1) My cousin at Boston Calling -just a disaster I won’t explain, but it was the probably the most disappointing thing that I experienced all year and shit on my weekend with my friend from LA. I basically had to become a babysitter and ditch my friend. 2) Pats-Texans AFC Championship Game -freezing 0 degree cold January game (expected) in the upper 300-level section and ours was the ONLY one not standing for a playoff game. Sat next to two kids under 8. Then someone brought in a newborn fucking baby that, no hyperbole, could not have been more than a month old. Insane. We snuck into the 200-level section at halftime and it ended up being a fucking party and playoff atmosphere that I wanted, expected, and had enjoyed before. 2) Migos -last minute replacement for Solange: just looked/sounded completely unprepared and they knew it. Crowd didn’t seem to be into it (Boston is mainly white) and didn’t know the lyrics to chant back: when they did so, it failed, and they were laughing it off but knowing it wasn’t a good setting for them. 4) Bon Iver -I liked his new album but doesn’t translate well live and to festivals. Super boring. Watching white people LOSE their shit to lukewarm Kenny G-esque saxophone solos (5 people playing the sax) was ridiculous.

MUSIC 1a) Brian Fallon-’If Your Prayers Don’t Get to Heaven’ 1b) Brian Fallon-’Forget Me Not’ 2) Menzingers-’˜Lookers’ 3) Lorde-’Perfect Places’ 4) Carly Rae Jepsen-’Cut to the Feeling’ 5) Turnover-’Breeze’ 6) Vallis Alps-’Fading’ 7) Kendrick Lamar-Humble’ 7) Calvin Harris/Frank Ocean/Migos-’Slide’ 9) Night Game-’the Outfield’ 10) Kesha-’Praying’

Album: Menzingers-’After the Party’ New Artist: Khalid Late pass: Turnover Late pass song: Lord Huron-’the Night We Met’

WORST POLITICAL: the chaos that comes with Trump-Waking up everyday in anxiety to check what happened on Twitter in America with politics/everything. It was, objectively, a trainwreck tire-fire. There’s too much news (which he obviously likes, even if it’s bad: he likes the attention and is a cable news addict). So, yeah, I don’t want to just be overloaded with it all the time, so fuck you forever. A year’s worth of shit is dumped every week. Thing is, I don’t hate Trump the most. He’s a stooge and he’s only doing everything the Republicans want anyway. It’s just that he’s such a dunce.

Worst music moment: 1) Katy Perry dancing w/ Migos, her music videos 2) Taylor Swift album rollout 3) Eminem’s cringe-y Trump freestyle that sounded as bad as Hamilton

Favorite debacles: Uber, Juicero, Fyre Festival Only because I can’t enjoy the Trump presidency debacles since it’s everyday life. Favorite Online Writer: Drew Magary Best health choice: switching to shoes with arch support -I can’t wear any of the major shoes like Nike anymore. I’ve got super flat feet. I was walking around for 2 months feeling like my foot was broken. I was in agony. Instant relief when I got better shoes. Most Confused thought: How the hell is Martin Shkreli the only evil rich asshole to go to jail? Sweetest/Coolest: Remember, Remember the 5th of November and beyond (super dumb inside joke to only person that might read this BS). I’ll leave it at that. I mean, I totally want to write about it, how awesome/funny it is, a phone call I made to my friend that was 12+ years in the making that he didn't expect. But yeah. I’ll just say it’s really sweet and just not jinx it.

Look ahead 2018 MUSIC: 1) Brian Fallon 2) Thrice 3) Chvrches 4) Wonder Years 5) Arctic Monkeys 6) Carly Rae Jepsen 7) 1975 8) Bruce Springsteen 9) Justin Timberlake NEW HBO: 1) Barry-Bill Hader as an assassin 2) Confederacy 3) Mosaic NEW NETFLIX SHOWS: 1) Maniac 2) Altered Carbon OTHER NEW SHOWS: 1) Corporate 2) the Terror 2) Counterpart 3) the Alienist 4) Waco 5) Good Girls RETURNING TV: 1) True Detective 2) Atlanta SHOWS ENDING: the Americans BOOKS: 1) Stephen King-’the Outsider’ 2) new Game of Thrones? 3) Michelle McNamara Gillian Flynn is overdue for a new book MOVIES: 1) Death of Stalin 2) Incredibles II 3) Soldado: Sicario II 4) Bodied 5) First Man-Chazzelle 6) Where’d You Go Bernadette-Linklater 7) Predator -Shane Black 8) Halloween -David Gordon Green/Danny McBride 9) Widows -Gillian Flynn/Steve McQueen 10) Creed II 11) Deadpool II 12) Hold the Dark 13) Scarface-Coen brothers 14) Black Panther 15) new ‘Cloverfield’ NEW COMEDY SPECIALS: 1) Bill Burr 2) Chris Rock 3)Tom Segura 4) Bert Kreischer, 5) Mike Birbiglia

Biggest bummer: no Game of Thrones until 2019, but I’d rather they not fuck it up

LOOK AHEAD TO 2018: -moving out of parent’ place in 2 weeks while still saving up to buy a house/condos -uh, I just turned 31, so that took forever. I have a decent amount of $ saved up to secure a house, but I want a decent one. -brother’s wedding in April -and bachelor party -cousins getting married and engaged -happening in droves -Pats playoff run and maybe the last best stand in the Belichick-Brady era. Brady could easily play 3 more years, be a top 3-5 QB (he still is the best, most durable/toughest, consistent), break every record, but something to be said about going out on top. -Shows/Tours Hoping to see: Boston Calling, Bill Burr, Brian Fallon, Bert Kreischer, Thrice, Chappelle, Pats -Gaslight Anthem reunion shows for 10-year anniversary of ‘the 59 Sound’ AND hopefully coming back again

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deltaengineering · 8 years ago

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Spring Anime 2017 Part 1: woke up late

This time I prepared so I could get to the procrastinating right with the first post! Yay! Let’s get this show on the road.

See also:

• spring anime 2017 part 2: girlfriendship is magic

• spring anime 2017 part 3: comfy and easy to wear

• spring anime 2017 bonus round: things you already knew were good

Alice to Zouroku

So get this, a pretty girl with psychic superweapon powers escapes from a lab she’s been in her whole life and now has to adapt to the real world with the help of a guy she stumbles upon, all while being chased by her superweapon former friends. But in a shocking twist, this is actually better than Elfen Lied! Not being written by someone as brutally incompetent as Lynn Okamoto is a start, but the real change here is that our heroine is less murder machine and more genuinely cute, and more importantly the guy she ends up with is not a harem ringleader dorklord, but a grumpy elderly florist. Yeah, we’re skipping the recent trend of dadfeel anime and diving headfirst into granddad feels (I don’t know if aging otaku are quite old enough to fully self-insert yet, but the same principle applies). It’s a low hanging fruit, but that’s what makes it work; a deliberate, contemplative pace and delightfully whimsical music by TO-MAS also help. So far, so good, were it not for the fact that this is only one aspect of the show. Of course a show like this would have an action half as well, and that one’s pretty garbage. Not only is it directed with zero impact or excitement, it also relies on horrible CG a lot - I really don’t want to be reminded of Hand Shakers this quickly again, thank you very much. Plus, it runs with a Alice in Wonderland metaphor, which is baby’s first literary reference and doesn’t bode well about the intellectual ambitions of the project. So we have one half that’s admittedly effective, but also very predictable and which desperately needs to go somewhere to pay off. The other half just plain sucks and has little chance to improve. I think I’ll give this one a few more chances to sort out its priorities, but it’s definitely not a sure thing.

Busou Shoujo Machiavellianism

A cocky guy walks into a school full of pretty girls with weapons who have managed to sissify all the dudes by forcing them to crossdress. He then proceeds to troll them with his rugged charm. You know, it’s really not that easy to offend me but damn this show is trying. Apart from bottom-tier harem crap setup, this show also looks like ass and is tremendously boring; a few well done action cuts do not in fact excuse “fights” that mostly consist of exposition about special attacks, or terminally uninspired direction. Macchiavellism is the worst of shounen fightmens crossed with the worst of harem LNs, plus some of the worst jokes bad anime comedy can come up with. It’s not even audacious enough in its badness to boggle the mind; I could watch this if I was interested in adding another 1/10 to my MAL, but that’s about all I can appreciate about it.

Frame Arms Girl

Speaking of unholy combinations, here’s Gundam Build Fighters x Rozen Maiden x Strike Witches: A girl stumbles into a sentient mecha musume model kit that spends its time explaining the technical details of model building to her and attracts other model kits that want to fight. It’s an ad for model kits, what do you expect. There’s no characters, the plot is utterly uninteresting, the action’s bad, it looks subpar to bad, and the only high point is how brazenly it reads to you from the manual.

Gin no Guardian

Here’s your latest Chinese webcomic adaptation from your friends at Haoliners Animation League (Shanghai) Inc., whose output has been asymptotically approaching the quality level of a bad Japanese cartoon for years now: Closer than ever, but still not quite there. Maybe they should stop picking bad webcomics with incomprehensible nonsense plots as source material, just sayin’. So this is about a dude who beats up CG zombies in the spirit world but the actual story is how he got there? Or something? It manages to look barely alright and even has some visually striking design work, but its half-length run time prevents it from forming any semblance of coherence and I’m not about to ask for further clarification.

Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine

In a vaguely 18th century Germanic kingdom, a grown ass man with the body of a ten year old and a snarky disposition is hired to become the tutor of an instaharem of fabulous princes. I really don’t get who this is for; obviously the harem is straight out of a PSP otome dating sim, but it’s lacking the obvious self-insert dimwitted main girl, and no, it isn’t gay romance either. Even though it’s a comedy, that aspect does not seem to be played for outright parody. The source material is running in GFantasy, a shounen title (but not one as specifically elementary schooler-focused as Jump, it also carries fujo favorites such as Black Butler). Dubious provenance aside, Haine is moderately funny if nothing else, mainly due to the deadpan reactions of the main character to these ridiculous dreamboats. It just also drags more than a little, with long conversations that aren’t very entertaining all the time. It’s watchable compared to a lot of the stuff out this season, but I remain unconvinced.

Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records

After Macchiavellism already obliterated the battle harem bingo, here’s our next winner. The setup’s more or less the same and in some respects it’s even more formulaic (the school is actually a magic school for magic people, princesses, duels, &c), but Akashic Record is not quite as odious simply by focusing on being a comedy first and foremost and pulling that off at least on a technical level - it has good visual execution and comedic timing. The question is just how much credit you want to give it for that when the jokes themselves still suck, and that’s of course ignoring the entire setup being Light Novel as all fuck. Kinda seems familiar actually, because this is not entirely unlike to what KonoSuba did to the isekai genre, and people keep trying to tell me that that was totally great. Well, go watch this one then, motherfuckers.

Sagrada Reset

But there’s always the other kind of light novel, the one where high schoolers talk about life, people and the world. Think Bakemonogatari or OreGairu. Sagrada Reset wants a slice of that pie and starts by stealing the magical realism conceit from classic™ visual novel Wind ~A Breath of Heart~: There’s a remote town in Japan where everyone has superpowers, but if they leave the town they instantly forget about it. Oops, i guess I just spoiled Wind’s midgame, but I have to since Sagrada Reset puts this stuff right upfront because it has to discuss technicalities (at length) to make its plot work. Yeah, that’s how I like my magical realism, thoroughly explained and conceived by people who should write wikis, not fiction. There’s a girl who can reset time, but only once per arbitrary period of time and also including herself, which means she only finds out she already did it once it doesn’t work again. So that’s pretty useless, except there’s a guy whose superpower is having his memory unaffected by this. They have to work together to solve... some problems, I suppose. This whole idea seems to have potential in a JoJo subplot sort of way, but it’s completely sunk by the way the thing is written, since apparently the writer has never met a human being in his life. It’s entirely made of these pseudo-deep highschool stoner philosophy conversations presented in a lifeless inflection by people who stand around like robots on battery saver mode. This seems to be intentional (at least the term “robot” is thrown around a couple of times, which is certainly ominous), but it also makes for an excruciating and interminable watching experience.

Sakura Quest

Since Sakura Quest was announced, I have been gleefully throwing water on the hype of people who expected this to be the next Shirobako. After all, how likely is it for lightning to strike twice, especially considering Mizushima is not in the director’s seat? Surely it was all just wishful thinking, I want a S2 of Shirobako as much as everyone but I just don’t trust anime. Well consider me fucking told, since apparently among the parties wishing for more Shirobako is P.A. Works, and unlike the anitwitterati they can make it happen. The actual brand name seems to be reserved for a Mizushima project, but I would have no trouble believing that Sakura Quest is a spinoff about Aoi’s sister in the boonies; Shirobako Sunshine, if you will. The initial setup is mirrored here; Yoshino is not a young professional starting her dream job, but a young professional unable to score a dream job (or any job) so she settles for a random one she’s very skeptical of, but will undoubtedly learn to love. Apart from that, well, it’s Shirobako: The positive tone, the large cast of likeable oddballs, the relatable writing about post-highschool problems, and it even looks completely identical. I’ll still be realistic about it: Shirobako isn’t great for what its ideas were, but for how thoroughly it delivered in the long run, and this is by no means guaranteed to also happen with Sakura Reset Quest. For an episode 1 though, it’s like a dream come true, and P.A. are setting themselves up for seasonal double domination with this and Uchouten Kazoku S2.

Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni

Enough gushing, here’s 5 minutes of porn. Okay, it’s josei porn so there may still be gushing involved if you know what I mean, nyuk nyuk. Er, sorry about that. Sooooo there’s a sexually frustrated woman who meets her school crush who’s now a priest, and then they fuck. With a staff made up mostly of (non-josei, but hey) hentai OVA veterans, there is really only one way this could go. I appreciate the brazenness as usual, but I really don’t know how much steamy harlequin romance tailored to TV broadcast standards I want to watch.

Tsugumomo

I’ve seen some warnings about Tsugumomo based on its source material which is a manga with 1. a very high level of art quality and 2. content that has been described as “makes To-Love Ru Darkness look family friendly”. This may explain why it has not been licensed. It doesn’t explain why this first episode is fairly tame though; sure, it’s very much an ecchi comedy, but you get those from time to time and Tsugumomo is not any more raunchy than what I’m used to seeing (and it accomplishes this even without obvious BD-advert censoring). That incidentally also removes any reason to watch it: The plot is as basic “guy gets magical girlfriend for purposes of fights and/or walking in on her naked in the bath” from 15 years ago as they come, and it’s suspiciously well animated, but not well enough for that to be a selling point. Maybe it will get real skeevy eventually, I won’t be around to find out.

Warau Salesman NEW

Warau Salesman starts strong with ultra cool, Saul Bass-inspired opening credits, but that’s about all it has to offer. It’s based on a “black comedy” manga from the 60s by one of the Doraemon authors, and oh boy can you tell. Not only are the character designs 60s-tastic (so at least the Osomatsu-san fujos can schlick to something while they wait for the S2 of that), but so are the sensibilities: The titular salesman goes around tempting frustrated office workers with doing something moderately irresponsible, such as drinking in your lunch break or spending above your means, and then ruins their life when they actually do it. It’s like Twilight Zone written by your HR department. In the 60s. This stuff would have been outdated even in 1989, when it was animated for the first time – hence the “NEW”. I don’t know, it just seems mean-spirited, obvious and pointless, and most importantly I put the “black comedy” in quotes because in addition to not being very black, it’s not funny in any way, and unlike regular anime comedy I can’t even see what’s supposed to be funny.

#anime #impressions #spring2017 #Alice to Zouroku #Busou Shoujo Machiavellianism #Frame Arms Girl #Gin no Guardian #Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine #Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records #Sagrada Reset #Sakura Quest #Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni #Tsugumomo #Warau Salesman NEW

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artificialqueens · 8 years ago

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In My Mind 01 (Katlaska) - Miss Sugar Pink

A/N: Hello! This is my first time posting here so please be nice to me ⊂((・▽・))⊃ This is basically a soulmate AU where most people earn a soulmark anywhere on their body as soon as they reach their 13th birthday– their soulmark being the first words their soulmate will tell them after earning the said mark.

I can’t remember where I first found that soulmate AU prompt but once I find it, I’ll properly credit it later! Depending on the feedback this fic gets, of course! While this fic has been tagged as Katlaska, it also has a lot of Shalaska in it. But the main focus here is still Katlaska!

Since this is an AU, some of the queens’ backgrounds have been slightly altered to fit the theme.

Also, English isn’t my first language so please bear with me!

“When you meet the other half of your soul, you’ll understand why things didn’t work out with anyone else.” - Jill Blakeway

Brian doesn’t exactly have a definite standpoint in terms of soulmates, but he does find the soulmark on his leg just a downright inconvenience— especially considering the fact that he’s a drag queen who takes pride in showing off his thighs. As if it doesn’t take him long enough beating his face with layers and layers of cosmetics, he still has to put forth more time and effort in trying to conceal the ridiculous words on his skin. He takes one last good look at the curvy writing on his right thigh, his brows drawn together in a disapproving scowl, before reaching over for the pair of jeans that lies alone on the bed.

Just right from the other side of wall, he could hear his neighbor still watching what he could assume is The Golden Girls. Whoever the hell they are, they’ve been watching that very same show since early in the morning when Brian finally made it to his new apartment to unpack. He couldn’t even tell if it’s due to the possibility of having ridiculously thin walls, or his neighbor just thrives in being an asshole by watching their shows in full volume.

Either way, it’s not a very good start for Brian on his first day as a resident in Los Angeles.

Maybe he should try to stay positive. Or at least that’s what Bri has been telling him but his friend has been living in LA since the moment he reached his mother’s egg first before any of the loser sperm did. His biggest accomplishment yet.

“Just freshen up and I’ll take you to this really nice club. They have a good drag show coming up and I’m telling you, LA queens don’t disappoint. They give the best gender bending performance art ever. By the end of the night, you wouldn’t even be thinking about him or that trashy writing on your leg.” Bri had told him through the loudspeaker of his phone when Brian was far too occupied unpacking his things to even turn down the invitation.

Brian knows all too well that a night of partying isn’t really going to help him get over the rejection he received from Daniel; the man who didn’t necessarily say the lines the mark on his skin showed but is still so goddamn hot and unbelievably compatible with him. They’ve dated a couple of times and most of them ended with a nice few rounds of fucking in Brian’s old apartment. Until, of course, Daniel eventually told him they weren’t exactly dating. That they were just going out and hooking up to ‘pass the time’.

Unlike Brian, Daniel is a strong believer of soulmates just like everybody else and since their first words to each other didn’t match the ones they have marked on their skin from the day they reached their teen years, Daniel is convinced that they’re just not right for each other.

Which is bullshit in Brian’s opinion because they’ve been having a fan-fucking-tastic time together! They share the same humor, same political views, and even like doing the nasty in the bedroom. And now the only reason why they shouldn’t go out at all is because of some words on their skin? Don’t get him wrong though. Brian is perfectly fine with the concept of soulmates but it’s not something he’s actively looking for unlike everyone else.

If he does find the one he’s meant to be with, then good. But if he doesn’t, so what? Not everyone earns those writings on their skin and they’re lucky because they don’t have to live in constant anticipation over whether or not the stranger they’re meeting right now could be the other half of their soul. Their fate is in their own hands– like Bri, his best friend.

Some people who absolutely loathe the thought of not having the freedom to choose who they belong with have their marks removed. That’s something Bri has been recommending him to do but while Brian is still moping around about how he just got rejected because the person he likes is a firm believer of soulmates, he still sometimes like to think that he will wind up meeting the one he’s destined for.

Even no matter how fucked up the first words that person will be telling him.

“Hey, can you tell this pussyfart that that guy is clearly checking me out?”

Those written words eventually disappear under the fabric of his jeans as Brian puts them on, failing to hold back the cringe that goes along with the action at the thought of his possible future partner saying those exact words. Honestly, who says that to a complete stranger? It would be pointless for him to have that writing removed when he practically grew up with it. Who could forget that exact line?

His soulmate clearly has a colorful vocabulary which is something Brian respects. But this person is also way over his head to be assuming that someone is checking them out and would need some kind of agreement and validation from a stranger.

For the love of all things holy, please don’t let his soulmate be white trash.

–

“Do you have any more nail glue?”

Alaska hands over the bottle to her boyfriend without even the bother to look away from her own reflection in the mirror, checking every tiny detail of the way she painted her face for the night. Seeing people point out on social media about how her lashes didn’t match or that she had lipstick on her teeth can be so stressful. She’s out there trying to be funny and entertaining for them and all they could think about is how to be a goddamn hawk and zoom in on every flaw she has on her.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Sharon points out from her own vanity desk, the lights on her mirror exposing just how thick and harsh her makeup is compared to Alaska’s. “Penny for your thoughts, baby?”

Alaska takes another shot of her cherry vodka— an important necessity for her to do whenever she could tell Sharon genuinely wants to know what’s on her mind but still prone to start an unnecessary argument if she disagrees with whatever the hell Alaska has to say. Having an argument has become a common thing for the two of them lately, which is fine with Alaska. A relationship with someone who just agrees with everything she says would be so fucking dull and boring anyway.

But for tonight, she’s just not in the mood to raise her voice.

“Just a headache.” She finally says after shooting a feigned smile to her boyfriend’s direction.

If Sharon isn’t convinced by her act, it doesn’t show. “Drink some pain-killers then. I promise we’ll head straight home after this if you want.”

“No, I don’t want to be a bother.” Alaska drawls as she redirects her eyes to her reflection, her hands coming up to fluff her blonde wig up a bit. “Besides, we’re supposed to meet and welcome Brian’s new friend.”

“Oh yeah, the one who shares his name?”

“Brian is a pretty common name.”

“I heard he’s a drag queen as well.”

This catches Alaska’s interest although she maintains her gaze on the mirror, tilting her head slightly to the side. “A pageant queen?”

“Comedy, probably.” Sharon snorts in pleased derision. “Come on, he’s a friend of Trixie Mattel. The guy’s most likely a comedy queen. Maybe you’ll finally have someone to relate to. It’s about time you interact with other queens aside from Roxxxy and Detox.”

“Ugh…” Alaska whines before curling her lips to a grimace in distaste. “Do I have to though? He’s gonna see our show anyway and I don’t think he’d want to be friends with someone who gets a blowjob on stage. What if he’s the kind of comedy queen who thinks he’s funnier than everyone else and perpetually has his nose up in the air?”

“Then he wouldn’t be good friends with our dear Trixie.”

Good point.

Honestly though, Alaska just really wants to be polite to the new guy then head straight back home. She’s not particularly keen on dwelling in the crowd after an erotic performance with her boyfriend because she always ends up feeling like she’s being stared at. It’s never a comfortable situation. She’s told Sharon this before but the Queen of Halloween thinks she’s just being too self-absorbed and that it’s all in her head.

And maybe she’s right. Sharon is always right.

Ugh, why is she destined with such an artsy queen?

Despite their clear differences, Alaska is still head over heels for Sharon and she has no doubt that the other drag queen feels the same way. Their arguments may have been getting worse, but their makeup sex has been getting better and hotter so everything’s all balanced out.

Alaska purses her lips thoughtfully as she draws her gaze down to her left wrist, the words “Oh, sorry.” marked on her skin sending a familiar flutter inside her chest. Whenever she’s having doubts about the two of them, all she has to do is look down on her wrist and it immediately reminds her of how they met. As Justin, he had moved to Los Angeles at the time in an attempt to become an actor, but luck wasn’t in the mood to hand over a clear path to his dream.

But then on his way to an audition, he ended up running into a handsome blond stranger whose arms were completely occupied with large rolls of fabric. The sidewalk was just a mess of colorful materials and nobody even bothered to help them up.

“Oh, sorry!” Were the first words Aaron Coady— Sharon Needles— had uttered to him.

As someone with a very vague soulmark, Justin would have shrugged it off. He couldn’t keep up with the number of times he had misinterpreted who his soulmate was. But somehow, that particular encounter was different. Just from the very first time he laid his eyes on Aaron, he was already enraptured. Aaron is someone who could pull off that boyish dorky look Justin always likes and after hearing those words slip past his lips, there’s no doubt in mind that Aaron is his soulmate.

They dated, and Aaron eventually admitted that he had his soulmark removed when he was eighteen. But according to him, having it removed was completely pointless when the words that previously scarred his skin were the exact first words Justin had said to him.

Unfortunately, Justin couldn’t even remember what he had said but deemed it rude and unromantic to ask what those words were. He didn’t have to ask anyway when their feelings for each other totally make sense.

“Earth to Alaska.” With several owlish blinks, Alaska returns to reality upon feeling Sharon pulling her closer by the waist from the side. Sharon gives the blonde queen a light kiss on the cheek, careful not to smear her black lipstick on her skin, before brushing the stray hair away from her face. “You okay? You’re zoning out again.”

Alaska feigns another smile, her gaze dipping to a flirty tone as she faces her boyfriend. The dorky bespectacled Aaron is completely non-existent under the dark spooky guise of Sharon Needles. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to be so in love with you.”

Sharon laughs and somehow, the sound of it is enough to make Alaska feel a little better. “Want a straw with that, you little suck-up?”

“From what I’ve gathered, you’re the one who will be doing all the sucking.”

Sharon gives her a toothy grin and Alaska swears she could have melted in her arms right then and there. Sharon leans in and whispers to her, her words ghosting over Alaska’s red-coated lips. “Let’s give those bastards a show they can’t forget.”

Remembering the performance they have to do, Alaska fights back the will to falter her smile. “Yeah… let’s do that.”

Sharon grins and gives her a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away immediately just as soon as a member of the staff came in to cue them. Alaska breathes in, pours herself another shot of vodka, and downs it in.

–

Where the hell is Bri?

Brian worries his bottom lip as he takes a gander of his surroundings under the dim purple light, the music pounding in his ears and his anxiety level rising up every time he thinks someone is about to approach him. He doesn’t normally mind a huge crowd but that’s only when he’s with a friend or two. Being alone is a different story. He’s been sitting by the bar alone for almost twenty minutes now and he still couldn’t find Bri anywhere.

He earlier tried to focus on the drag queen performing on stage but the performance isn’t very eye-catching. The artist is far too intoxicated to even lipsync the song “Baby One More Time” right and keeps stumbling on her steps. The performance is just a humiliating mess overall and Brian couldn’t bear to watch anymore without pitying the queen. Hopefully, this isn’t the performance Bri has been so damn excited about all day.

“You come around here often?”

Brian jumps in his seat and clinches his jaw as he turns to find the devil himself grinning at him from ear to ear.

“Bri!” The blond acknowledges him with a dramatic sigh of relief. “Bitch, I was this close to leaving. What took you so long?”

“Uh, do you even know me?” Bri cocks his head at him in obvious disbelief before finally enthroning himself down on the bar stool beside him. “I’m like totally worth waiting for. It takes a lot of time to look the way I do right now.”

Brian eyes his friend’s outfit from head to toe. “A plaid shirt and worn out jeans? Are you here to chop wood?”

“Unless you’re Miranda Priestly or my mom, spare me the lecture.” Bri waves his hand dismissively in the air. “So how are you liking LA so far?”

Brian opens his mouth to respond but stops right away when he realizes Bri is still a bit too preoccupied in ordering his drink despite the question he had just shot to his direction. Well, he is worth waiting for so he waits. Once Bri has turned back to him with a patient smile, Brian finally speaks up.

“It’s not bad. The apartment is smaller than my old one but I guess it just takes time to get used to.”

“Yeah, you’ll earn more tips performing here than you did in Boston.” Bri points out with a shrug. “Just don’t worry too much. You’ll afford a bigger apartment in no time.”

Realistically, it can’t be that easy but that’s what Brian likes about his friend. He can be quite the optimist when he needs to be and sometimes, Brian could use a little bit of optimism in his dreary life.

The familiar tune to Tainted Love by Soft Cell fills the air and Brian flinches the very second he feels Bri clutching his arm in excitement. The crowd screams and cheers as they sail forth closer to the stage for a better view. The next queen must be very favored around this area if even his friend who’s also known as the hard-to-impress Trixie Mattel gets all this hyped up just by the mere sound of the song they’re about to lipsync to.

“This is the show I’m telling you about!” Bri grins all too eagerly.

The performer enters the stage and Brian is completely taken back by how tall the queen is. Sure, she has some help from her high-heel boots but just picturing her without them still seems like she’d tower over most people. She has a long beehive blonde wig on, although the beehive part has somewhat lost its volume and has gone a bit limp as if the queen couldn’t be bothered fixing it. Strangely enough, it suits her. It matches the way she leaps into enthusiastic action, her heels hammering the stage floor.

Her makeup is dark and thick just as expected from a drag queen but Brian couldn’t understand the black paint on the tip of her nose and the whiskers drawn on her cheeks. She’s not exactly wearing any animal ears so it’s hard to tell what kind of look she’s going for here. She’s only dressed in a black sparkly bra and a dark short skirt with a bow tie around her neck.

Overall, it’s a look Brian would never see himself wearing as Katya but it’s also a look that nobody else could pull off but the blonde performer. She looks fishier than any of the queens he met.

“That’s Alaska!” Bri shouts over the music. “Alaska Thunderfuck! She’s a good friend of mine! You’ll meet her later!”

Brian doesn’t put out the effort to respond, assuming there’s no way he’d be able to say anything through the music. Surprisingly enough, another queen joins Alaska and Brian finds himself holding his breath.

The quality of this queen’s look is beyond anything Brian could ever reach. She’s dressed like the female version of Dracula. Her entire face is painted a ghoulish white which matches her white contact lenses. It almost seems like her entire look costs more time, money, and effort than Alaska’s. Everything about her is so polished from her cleanly drawn sharp widow’s peak to her thigh-high leather boots. Fake blood has been daubed over both corners of her lips, adding just the right amount of spook to it.

If most LA queens are this polished, then Brian couldn’t help but feel a little small.

“And that’s Sharon Needles!” He feels Bri give him a light nudge to the shoulder. Damn, even her name is witty. “The self-proclaimed Queen of Halloween!”

Brian isn’t surprised.

The two queens begin singing to Tainted Love instead of lipsyncing it and Brian hopes that’s not a thing in LA because he can’t sing for shit. Even their voices are very theatrical with all those natural vibratos and high notes. Although, he could tell Alaska is just making fun of herself by suddenly dropping her dainty throaty voice to a deep grating one every now and then and Brian is undoubtedly living for it. Her timing is always on point and before he knew it, he already finds himself smiling and enjoying the show.

Until the performance begins to take an unexpected turn.

Sharon slowly goes down on her knees and Alaska feigns an endearing look of confusion. Almost everyone in the audience have their phones out, recording and taking snapshots. Sharon grins at the audience then up at Alaska before reaching under the other queen’s skirt to pull down her dark lacy underwear. Brian stares at the show, bug-eyed. An almost hysterical gleam of devilry twinkles within Alaska’s eyes as she smiles at the audience and lifts her skirt up, unabashedly exposing her limp dick for everyone to see.

Sharon then proceeds to suck her off and everyone in the club goes wild.

What in the ever loving fuck.

He hears Bri screeching and laughing, his arms flailing in the air. “See, what did I tell you?! Best gender bending performance art ever!”

Brian couldn’t even take his eyes off the two. Alaska fans herself with her free hand, looking as though she’s enjoying the public show she’s giving but her limp dick gives away her obviously frazzled state. She’s big, no doubt about it. And Sharon looks so used to blowing him.

Somewhere, deep within the depths of his mind, Brian finds it hot.

But like hell is he going to admit that out loud.

Sharon eventually gets back on her feet and Alaska lets her skirt fall over her crotch as they continue the song. She steps off of her panties and tosses them to the backstage, but her fleeting disgusted scowl doesn’t go unnoticed to Brian.

–

Alaska feels sick. Her stomach twists and lurches as she walks back to the dressing room. She hurries over to her vanity desk, pours herself another shot, and downs it in before releasing a sigh and embracing the warmth that spreads all throughout her body.

“You forgot these, babe.” She looks back over her shoulder to find Sharon handing over her underwear. Alaska offers her a lackluster smile and takes the panties away from her grip to quickly put them on. She could still feel Sharon’s eyes on her and just as she expected, her boyfriend decides to speak up. “You really don’t look good. Maybe we should go home. I can just shoot Brian a message and postpone—”

“No, don’t.” Alaska cuts her off after dragging a deep intake of breath, her fingers adjusting the band of her underwear. “I can’t be the reason. I know what the other queens say about me. I don’t want Brian thinking I’m a brat too.”

“But you are.” Sharon sticks her tongue out at her in good humor, though the harmless tease just goes flying over Alaska’s head. “But I can just lie and tell him that I’m the one feeling sick.”

“Like he’d believe that.” Alaska turns her back to her to fix her makeup. “You never postpone or cancel anything unless it’s a family emergency.”

“But you’re sick.”

“I told you, it’s just a damn headache.” The blonde almost snaps, the muscles in her face tightening in frustration and impatience. Sharon goes still for a moment and Alaska immediately regrets her tone, knowing that this is something the other queen won’t be dropping anytime soon.

“Fuck, fine.” Sharon fumes with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Just don’t come crying over to me if you throw up on someone.”

Alaska slams her eyes shut and grips the edge of her desk in an attempt to control her nausea and her emotions. She’s being a brat again. And to Sharon, of all people. Something inside her chest twists in pain and she takes another deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She murmurs even though she knows an apology from her is never enough for Sharon. From the corner of her sight, she could see her boyfriend reapplying her makeup from her own desk without even so much of a glance at her direction.

“Let’s just hurry.” Sharon’s tone is stiff and uncaring, enough to further twist the tight pain in Alaska’s chest. “Brian’s waiting for us.”

After a few more minutes of freshening themselves up, the pair leave the dressing room to join the crowd of strangers in the club. Alaska easily catches Brian by the bar but before she could even have the chance to approach him or even catch his attention, she and Sharon are suddenly swarmed by their adoring fans. Brushing them off wouldn’t be the wisest thing to do no matter how dizzy she feels. The last thing she needs right now is people saying how much of a bitch she is on social media.

They stop for now to interact with their admirers. Sharon is a natural, of course. She charms everyone without even trying. Alaska, on the other hand, is just struggling to keep a smile on her face as she thanks every single one of them for the compliments they’re showering her with. But even with all the praises and flatteries that are being sent her way, she could still feel a few pairs of judgmental stares eyeing her.

She doesn’t feel comfortable.

This is what always happens whenever they go for a risky performance. She could feel everyone just staring at her, perhaps even murmuring to each other about how much of a trashy queen she must be. Never mind Sharon doing the same shit that she does because she’s Sharon fucking Needles. She’s widely known as the insanely eccentric one. But Alaska? She’s a comedy queen who just rides along with Sharon’s perspective of what art is supposed to be.

Sharon is always right after all.

One guy in particular catches her attention. He stands near the fire exit with a smile hanging on the corner of his lips, his arms crossed and his eyes trained boldly at her. Alaska tears her gaze away from him and tugs Sharon by the elbow to murmur over her ear, “I think that guy near the fire exit is staring at me. And not in a good way.”

Sharon blinks and looks up at the fire exit. Alaska can’t tell what the stranger is doing at this point and she honestly doesn’t want to know. She can’t bear to give that guy another glance when his stare is just making it harder for her to try and stay.

“No, he’s not. You’re just getting paranoid again.” Sharon debates as she shakes her head. “Come on, let’s get to Brian.” And with that, Sharon politely excuses the two of them from their fans and tries to pass through. Alaska takes her hand in hers hurriedly for the sake of not losing her in the crowd, earning a look of surprise from her boyfriend. Fortunately, Sharon squeezes her hand in reassurance and gently tugs her along through the mass of strangers.

Mustering up all the courage she could possibly have, Alaska throws a look over her shoulder and jumps when she realizes the guy is still watching her from where he stood. He even makes a show out of it by shamelessly licking his lips. She whips her gaze back at Sharon and pulls her arm almost a bit too hard. “He really is staring at me!” She hisses and Sharon’s eyes roll skyward in annoyed disbelief.

“He’s not, Lasky. Just let this go.”

“Just look!”

“I did and when I say you’re being paranoid, you really are being paranoid!”

–

“So what do you think of the show?” Bri inquires with a knowing smile.

“It was so horrendous and disturbing, I have never cum that hard since the accident, mom.” Brian crinkles his nose in feigned disgust, his words dripping with his terrible portrayal of the British accent.

“Good to know!” Bri snorts a laugh. “You haven’t seen the rest of the queens yet though. They’re all batshit crazy. I mean, Sharon and Alaska are pretty much the craziest ones here in my personal opinion but there are some insane ones too. The crazier and funnier you are, the more people will tip you.”

“Oh my god, is this why you’ve gone bankrupt?”

“Bitch, you thought!”

Brian laughs as he avoids a swat from his friend. “I can be funny onstage. And I can lipsync too. Do you think that’s good enough?”

“It’s a good start.” Bri nods. “Don’t worry. It’s not like sucking someone off onstage is a requirement here.”

“Shit, really? What a way to get my hopes up then. Okay well, I’ll just have a quick smoke outside before your friends get here.”

“Oh, so you’re going to leave me sitting here by myself like I’m back in the fourth grade?”

“Yep. Have fun.” Brian grins cheekily at his friend before standing up from his seat and grabbing his jacket. He’s taken back by how the club looks even more crowded now than before. Getting through will require too much effort, but Brian really does need a smoke before mustering up the much needed confidence to meet those two amazing performers from earlier. He trains his eyes down on the floor as he tries to barge up ahead.

Some of the people are assholes who probably think they could establish their dominance by not giving way at all while some are far too intoxicated to even know where the hell they are right now. Either way, it’s not giving him a clear path to the exit.

A dramatic yelp catches his ears and he looks up just in time to find a tall blonde woman stumbling on her steps and nearly crashing into him the second Brian tries to move past her. He catches her quickly by the arms before she could totally make a severe physical impact on him.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologizes as he helps her find her balance.

The woman brushes her hair away from her face and Brian finds his entire frame stiffening in recognition.

It’s Miss Alaska Thunderfuck herself towering over him.

And she’s even more fucking gorgeous up-close.

Sharon Needles is just right behind her, her fingers enclosed around the taller queen’s elbow. “Jesus, the alcohol is really getting in your head!”

“That’s rich coming from you. And I know what I saw!” Alaska snaps back but her tone is whinier than Sharon’s. She then directs her eyes at Brian who nearly flinches at the sudden acknowledgment. “Hey, can you tell this pussyfart that that guy is clearly checking me out?”

The words strike him right then and there.

His heart gallops away.

He stares at her, slack-mouthed.

Suddenly, he feels far too aware of the writing on his right thigh.

“So now he’s checking you out?” Sharon jumps in, successfully snatching Alaska’s attention. “I thought he was just staring at you? And not in a good way?”

“The same fucking thing!” Alaska sneers at the Queen of Halloween.

“I just can’t with you right now.”

And with that, Sharon walks off— leaving her fellow drag queen alone with Brian who is still technically a stranger to the two of them. Brian glances over at Alaska but Alaska wouldn’t even look at him, her head drooping down as she rubs her forehead. Her shoulders are trembling and a broken sob wracks her entire form.

Shit, she’s crying.

In the middle of a club.

And people are starting to stare.

“Fuck, shit, fucking fuck.” Brian curses under his breath, not entirely sure what to do and wondering how the hell he even got himself in this situation. Carefully, he reaches and pats Alaska’s bare shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting manner. “Um, hey…? Do you wanna go outside and get some fresh air? Maybe that’ll help?”

Alaska grabs his arm. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

Goddammit.

#rpdr fanfiction #alaska thunderfuck #katya zamolodchikova #sharon needles #katlaska #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #miss sugar pink #tw toxic relationship #tw alcohol abuse #submission #in my mind #soulmate au #m/m au

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the-ink-that-writes · 5 years ago

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Lies and Lobster Bisque (Flash Fiction Challenge Story #1)

Genre: Comedy Location: Laboratory Object: Polygraph

Lies and Lobster Bisque

Gerry and Darlene have been married for ten years and agree to an ad for an experimental couple’s therapy session. They learn what they already knew but maybe forgot.

He had seen it in an ad posted in the Sunday Times in a small box on the corner of the third page.

Wanted: Couples of five or more years for a study in couple’s therapy. Compensation: One night of ALL YOU CAN EAT at Georgina’s Kitchen.

Jokingly, he had mentioned it to his wife Darlene as they sat at the small breakfast table sipping their morning coffee and nibbling at the toast, he cringed internally—she had burnt the edges again. Darlene paused mid chew before nodding her head and reaching for her napkin.

“Let’s do it,” she said.

Gerry had promptly choked on his coffee, “I’m sorry—do what exactly?” Darlene made a motion with her hands waving them heedlessly in the space between,

“Let’s do this couple’s therapy experiment.”

“No, absolutely not,” Gerry said.

“Why not? You’re the one who brought it up,” Darlene argued.

“As a joke! I didn’t think you’d take me seriously.”

Darlene huffed leaning forward to press both elbows on top of the table.

“Gerry we’ve been married for ten years, don’t you think it would take more than an experimental couple’s therapy session to make us question the validity of our relationship?”

He grimaced as he chewed the burnt corners of his piece of toast before offering her his most deadpanned stare, “You just want an excuse to crack claws and eat lobster bisque all night.”

Darlene leaned back, slumping into the chair and crossing her arms over her chest before settling him with her own look of disbelief, “You’re telling me you’d rather stay home and eat the left over lasagna your mother cooked three days ago instead?” Her brow raised and Gerry clicked his tongue—touché.

“Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?”

Within the hour they had found themselves standing in front of the receptionist’s desk filling out the waiver forms and consent to offer all rights of results to the relationship therapy experiment spearheaded by Dr. Kimmel, who had spent the last thirty years of his career discussing the it component that determined the longevity and authenticity of a relationship. When all was said and done they were lead down multiple winding hallways, passing all the front offices and disappearing into the labyrinth of the building. At one point Gerry leaned over to whisper to Darlene while walking behind the receptionist leading them to the Laboratory,

“The prospect of our organs getting removed, stolen and sold on the black market is becoming more probable with each creepy door we pass.”

“All you can eat Gerry, that’s all I’m going to say.”

“Yeah till you don’t have a gallbladder,” he scoffed.

Laboratory Room 637 was at the end of the hall and appropriately named with a silver plaque with Dr. Kimmel’s name embossed just beneath the number. The receptionist smiled as she opened the door and waved them in, “Dr. Kimmel will be waiting inside to explain to you the details of the experiment. Happy therapy session,” she said as her heels retreated down the hall, clicking against the white tile.

Inside a man dressed in pair of navy blue slacks and a white button down shirt with a daisy yellow tie stood waiting. He was tall and gangly looking, his clothes seemed a size too big and his spectacles slid down his face with every gesture his countenance made.

“Welcome to Lab 637, won’t you please come have a seat?” Dr. Kimmel motioned to the simple metal table with three chairs. On the table sat unmistakably a machine with wires hooked up to graphing paper. Darlene’s lips pursed.

“A lie detector?”

Dr. Kimmel smiled as if he could already determine their disbelief, “Ahh well not exactly. You see, the polygraph doesn’t necessarily detect lies; it detects nervousness. As therapists we take that nervousness and try to determine what about these questions make the individual nervous, and use the polygraph to then ask more prodding questions. Which as you might be able to guess can lead to some interesting and enlightening conversations.”

As he spoke he placed electrodes on Gerry and Darlene’s first and third finger of their right hand. He wrapped tubing around their chest and stomach, and then also placed a blood pressure reader on their left arm accordingly. Dr. Kimmel sat back and watched as the red light blinked and smiled as he pushed his glasses back up his face, readying a clipboard with a list of questions and his pen poised just above the paper.

“Now then shall we begin?”

Gerry and Darlene pushed past the revolving glass door, breathing in the fresh air as it rushed against their faces. The sun had just begun to dip below the tree line and the streets weren’t nearly as busy as when they had arrived. They walked in silence as they both got into their car and buckled their seats. They sat for a long moment before Darlene cleared her throat, “Well, that was…interesting.”

Gerry’s head whipped to the right and stared at Darlene with incredulity, “Interesting? That’s a bit of a stretch don’t you think? I mean I’ve never in my life ever heard of there being a correlation between the color of my underwear and my emotional capacity in the same sentence before!”

“I said interesting Gerry, not accurate,” Darlene said exasperatedly as she combed her fingers through her curls.

“And just where does he get off telling me that I’m not supportive? I’m supportive!”

“Very supportive Dear,” Darlene soothed.

“I mean, I eat your burnt toast every morning! Is that not the definition of support?”

Darlene sighed, “I never claimed to be a cook.”

“And I never claimed that I married one, but a man’s gotta eat more than just burnt toast Darlene!”

“Agreed. So, let’s go crack claws and eat lobster bisque till we’re sick with it,” her smile ever playful despite the aging of ten years.

“Till we’re sick with it,” he said, turning the key and revving the engine to life.

#FFC19 #Writersunite #creativewriting #spilledink #shortstories

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timtamtalestakestwo · 6 years ago

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Diving into December

Following our last post, we both had a couple of busy weeks of work- I had a very busy set of nightshifts which were fairly horrible. Had, from what I can gather, a record number of medical admissions overnight on the first night and was just flat out admitting for the whole 12 hours- thankfully the ED was full of snacks to help me on my way as I didn’t have any time to leave all night.

The weekend was action packed – we headed down to Swansea to dive under the bridge. I had chosen to do a refresher dive as it had been almost 2 years since I’d last been underwater – it was reassuring to build confidence again with some skills in the local pool and then head in for a relatively shallow dive which Tom tagged along for. The visibility wasn’t great being low tide but we saw an octopus, lots of rays and enormous fish!

It was also a busy weekend for my choir with Advent Carols – a slightly special event for me as 4 years ago, that was the final thing I did with the choir before I flew back to England at the end of my exchange, so brought back lots of emotional and precious memories and was nice to not have to think about leaving them any time soon this time round!

Advent carols 4 years ago below!

Tom headed up to sweaty Queensland on the Monday with his boss to do some exhaust temperature testing on a train – a flight from Newcastle to Brisbane, another flight to Mackay and then a drive to Nebo- all of that to *just about* be in another state- we would have crossed about 6 countries had that been back home! It was, as expected, significantly hotter up there (in the 40s!), and by the sounds of it, very challenging to be labouring under the strong sun for more than an hour at a time especially when it involved being dressed from head to toe in bright orange PPE! The testing went pretty smoothly and thankfully the week became less labour intensive compared to day one!

The house felt very quiet that week so I tried to keep busy, going round for dinner with my friends over here from Poole and buying and decorating a Christmas tree in an attempt to make us feel more festive! Not quite the same without the smell of pine needles and mulled wine wafting through the room but with some Christmas carols playing in the background we are just about adjusting and now have lots of presents under it to look forward to opening!

A sunny weekend called for a trip to the Hunt and Gather Markets by the beach with some friends, and a celebratory birthday Sunday lunch/picnic for the twins’ (The Two Veronicas as my family refer to lovely Emilie and Veronica!) on the bank of Lake Macquarie at Toronto.

That night we had the dive club Christmas cruise on Lake Macquarie which was a beautiful evening- we ended up getting to know a couple from Liverpool who came travelling here for 3 months…and 4.5 years later they’re still here! No idea how that can happen…no idea…(I have every idea.)

We had Tom’s work Christmas do last week at The Grain Store – a 7 course menu with a beer paired with each course! With neither of us being big beer-drinkers as such, I think we managed about 2 out of courtesy before politely declining. The food was fantastic though and a great comedy act in the middle who had us all crying laughing! It was also really lovely to meet some of Tom’s colleagues who’d I’d heard lots about!

I did my Nitrox diving theory exam the following morning which I passed despite feeling slightly furry-brained. Also got taught how to calibrate and measure the nitrox mix in a cylinder and how to work out the operating depth depending on the percentage mix!

We had yet another party that night which was my choir Christmas party- thankfully a fairly low-key BBQ affair but lovely to catch up with friends and Tom to meet a few more of the crowd! He became the hero of the evening after eventually completing one of those tricky metal puzzle things (where you have to disconnect various pieces which don’t appear to be disconnectable despite hours of pulling and prodding) which no-one had ever completed before. We made a swift exit before he was asked to put it back together again!

We had a very early wake-up call the following morning at 04.30 to drive down to Terrigal on the Central Coast to be ready to dive HMAS Adelaide at 06.30 with some people from the club! It had almost been called off due to the large swell – it’s a 15 minute boat ride out to the wreck which was VERY lumpy. All was ok whilst the boat was motoring with the wind in our face, but once the boat moored up at the buoy above the wreck it felt fairly hairy, and having to get all the kit on whilst trying not to be sick wasn’t the most pleasant of things. We knew the feeling would go as soon as we got under so we threw ourselves overboard and once we were 5 metres or so down it was calm and clear! We descended down the line and arrived at one of the helicopter decks. The visibility was fantastic at about 15 metres! HMAS Adelaide is 138 metres long by about 15 metres wide and was used during the Gulf War, and in East Timor, before it was sunk in 2011 to form an artificial reef where it now lies in 32 metres of water. It was amazing to swim through the bridge with all the phones and controls still there. There was plenty of sea-life to see as well as all the ins-and-outs of the ship! It soon came time for us to ascend back up the line nice and slowly. We hit about 8 metres and paused for a little bit – the swell was starting to become apparent at this shallower depth and I started to get the seasickness giddiness…I started swimming further up with the swell worsening the shallower I got and could feel myself retching. As my head emerged above the water, my regulator came out and the contents of my stomach very quickly became food for the fish. I felt slightly bad as I was aware Tom was not far below me and was therefore probably getting a face of it..but then he soon emerged and did exactly the same thing!! The first diving vomit for both of us! We went back to shore for the surface interval and with our stomachs feeling slightly delicate decided we might just take it easy and do an easy shore dive for the second one rather than heading back out into the swell! Apart from the latter part, it was a fantastic dive and we’d love to go back again (perhaps when it’s slightly less lumpy!).

(Not us as we failed to get any footage, but just so you can see!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PinUz48DXJw

A very inquisitive pelican thinking Tom was about to feed it fish is about to be severely disappointed...

We’re both in our final week of work before a week off over Christmas for me (and a lot more than a week off for Tom. I’m not bitter at all.) Then only a few more weeks before Tom’s parents arrive which we are both really looking forward to!!!

We are looking forward to experiencing our first sweaty Christmas and hope to we can speak to you all back home at some point to share part of the day together!

Merry Christmas to you all! We miss you all very much and sending all our love across the oceans!

PS. Quick plant update. We now have 4 sunflowers (although some pesty caterpillar appears to be eating the leaves!), a micro pineapple, some mini peppers and some tomato plants yet to bear any fruit...

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investmart007 · 6 years ago

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LOS ANGELES | The Latest: Regina King wins limited actress Emmy Award

New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/los-angeles-the-latest-regina-king-wins-limited-actress-emmy-award/171550/

LOS ANGELES | The Latest: Regina King wins limited actress Emmy Award

LOS ANGELES — The Latest on the 70th prime-time Emmy Awards being presented Monday at the Microsoft Theater in downtown Los Angeles (all times local): 6:15 p.m.

Regina King has won the best actress in a limited series Emmy Award for her role in “Seven Seconds.”

It’s the third Emmy for King, who won best supporting actress in a limited series in 2015 and again in 2016 for “American Crime.”

In “Seven Seconds,” a show already canceled by Netflix, she plays a mother whose teenage son is hit and critically injured by a police officer. In her acceptance speech, King said she wasn’t expecting the honor and gave a heartfelt speech, saying wanted to curse before stopping herself and saying “Thank you, Jesus.” ___ 5:50 p.m. The best supporting actor Emmy Awards for a limited series have gone to Jeff Daniels and Merritt Wever of the Netflix western “Godless.”

It’s the second Emmy win for Daniels, who previously won best lead actor in a drama series for HBO’s “The Newsroom” in 2013. The 63-year-old Daniels played outlaw Frank Griffin on the Netflix Western.

It’s the second Emmy for Wever, who also won best supporting actress in a comedy series for “Nurse Jackie” in 2013.

In the Netflix western “Godless” she played Mary Agnes McNue, the widow of a town’s mayor and sister of its sheriff, who is skeptical of a mining company that comes to town.

Daniels is also nominated Monday night for best actor in a limited series for “The Looming Tower.”

In his acceptance speech, he thanked his horse on “Godless,” which he said threw him and broke his left wrist. Daniels, holding up his Emmy with his left hand, said it is now officially healed. 5:40 p.m.

Bill Hader has won the best actor in a television comedy Emmy Award for his role in “Barry.”

It’s the first time Hader has won an Emmy for his acting. He’s been nominated four times for his performances on “Saturday Night Live” and won his only previous Emmy as a producer of South Park in 2009.

He plays the HBO show’s title character, an elite hitman who takes an interesting in acting after wandering into a class. Hader was also up for three more Emmys Monday night, for his writing, directing and executive producer on “Barry.” The writing and directing awards were awarded Amy Sherman-Palladino.

In his acceptance speech, Hader first mentioned Henry Winkler, who won an Emmy earlier in the night for best supporting actor in a comedy series. ___ 5:35 p.m. Rachel Brosnahan is the winner of the best actor in a television comedy Emmy Award for her role in “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

It’s the first Emmy for Brosnahan, and comes in the first season of her first leading role on television. She plays Miriam “Midge” Maisel, a housewife in New York in the 1950s who finds she has a knacke for stand-up comedy.

She won a Golden Globe for the role earlier this year. Hers is the latest win for the Amazon series, which has also won a supporting actress Emmy Award for Alex Borstein and Emmys for best writing and directing.

In her acceptance speech, Brosnahan says the show is “about a woman who is finding her voice anew” like so many women in the country right now. ___ 5:20 p.m. “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s” Alex Borstein is the winner of the Emmy Award for best supporting actor in a comedy series.

It’s the second 2018 Emmy for Borstein, who already won best character voice-over performance for her longtime role of Lois Griffin on “Family Guy.”

She plays Susie Myerson on Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” ___ 5:15 p.m. Henry Winkler is the winner of the Emmy Award for best supporting actor in a comedy series.

It’s the first Emmy in a 40-year television career for Winkler. He was nominated three times in the 1970s for playing Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli on “Happy Days,” a character that spawned a cultural craze and made him one of the biggest stars on TV.

The 72-year-old Winkler has played mostly small comic roles in movies and TV since.

Winkler got a standing ovation for his win.

He started his speech by saying, “I wrote this 43 years ago.” He ended it by telling his adult children to go to bed. ___ 5:10 p.m. The Emmys have started with a song whose chorus was “We Solved It,” a comic ode to the diversity of nominees — and Hollywood self-satisfaction.

“Saturday Night Live” stars and Emmy nominees Monday night Kate McKinnon and Kenan Thompson started the song, pointing out that Sandra Oh could become the first woman of Asian descent to win an Emmy.

The comedians sang: “There were none, now there’s one, so we’re done.”

They were joined by Tituss Burgess, Kristen Bell, Sterling K. Brown and Ricky Martin, who declared the song “too white” and gave it a Latin turn.

Andy Samberg showed up to ask in song if there was a place for a straight white male in the song before being sent off. Martin and Samberg were met with loud cheers inside Microsoft Theater.

The group gave way to the night’s hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost, who continued to riff on Hollywood diversity and the sexual misconduct scandal that has roiled the industry. ___ 4:45 p.m. John Oliver says Hollywood’s biggest award shows are “terrible gigs” for the hosts, not fun or glamorous.

The host of “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” was feeling empathy on the gold carpet for this year’s Emmys hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost from “Saturday Night Live.”

Che and Jost, in their black tuxedos, were among the first to walk down the carpet before the show on Monday afternoon.

Oliver says the audience is tense and as the night goes on the crowd becomes increasingly resentful since most of them don’t win.

He says it’s not easy to do comedy in those conditions.

— Mike Cidoni Lennox (@CidoniLennox on Twitter) and Beth Harris (@BethHarrisAP) on the Emmys red carpet ___ 4:20 p.m. “This Is Us” stars Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia aren’t walking the golden carpet together at the Emmys, but bumped into each other in the long line for photos.

The two actors, who are married on the show, met in the middle Monday to pose for some pics and even took a few selfies with fans walking by.

Ventimiglia also waved over his co-star Justin Hartley and wife Chrishell Stause to say hello.

Elsewhere, another “This Is Us” co-star, Sterling K. Brown, says he loves the regular-guy role he plays on the NBC hit series.

Brown, nominated for lead actor in a drama, an award he won last year, says it’s nice going to work every day playing a character who “didn’t kill people, he’s not secrets and lies. He’s trying to find the best part of himself to share with humanity.”

— Lindsey Bahr (@ldbahr on Twitter) with Beth Harris (@BethHarrisAP) and Mike Cidoni Lennox (@CidoniLennox) ___ 4 p.m. The biggest gathering of stars on the Emmys gold carpet is a bottleneck of celebs waiting patiently in a long line for the photo call.

Ralph Fiennes stood arm-in-arm with Max Minghella of “The Handmaid’s Tale.” RuPaul, fan in hand, leaned over a rope and stanchion to hug Margo

Martindale of “The Americans.” Heidi Klum fixed her hair before stepping out for the cameras and Issa Rae of “Insecure” looked up from her phone to wave to LaKeith Stanfield of “Atlanta.”

Elsewhere on the carpet, “Insecure” actress Yvonne Orji and “This is Us” actor Justin Hartley posed for selfies with fans.

George R.R. Martin, author of the books behind “Game of Thrones,” got cheers from the fan bleachers. One person yelled, “Finish the book!” to laughs, referring “The Winds of Winter,” the very-long-awaited next volume in the series.

— Lindsey Bahr (@ldbahr on Twitter) with Amanda Lee Myers (@AmandaLeeAP on Twitter) ___ 3:30 p.m. Jenifer Lewis of “black-ish” says she’s wearing Nike on the Emmys gold carpet “in support of Colin Kaepernick’s protest against police brutality and racial injustice.”

The 61-year-old actress said Monday that she wants “to speak to the millennials today to let them know they are not alone when they speak out.”

She wore a red-and-black sweat shirt emblazoned with Nike, which began using the former San Francisco 49ers quarterback in an ad campaign earlier this month.

The athletic company’s trademark swoosh was done in crystals. She accented her black leggings and black-and-white pattern boots with a diamond bracelet and ring.

Lewis says, “We are not living in dark times. We are living in awakening times, and I am proud to be one of the leaders in the movement.”

— Mike Cidoni Lennox (@CidoniLennox on Twitter) on the Emmys red carpet with Beth Harris (@BethHarrisAP) ___ 3 p.m. Politics are top of mind on the golden carpet for many of the stars attending the Emmy Awards Monday.

RuPaul tells The Associated Press: “Every time I bat my false eyelashes I’m making a political statement.” And actress Q’orianka Kilcher accessorized her red dress with a pin that reads “I am a voter.”

“The Alienist” actress says she felt it was important to send the message that “all of our voices matter and all of our votes matter.”

Margo Martindale took a different stance, however, saying that awards shows lately have backed off from being as political. Martindale says, “I think it’s fine to be political, don’t get me wrong. But middle America is hard to reach.”

— Mike Cidoni Lennox (@CidoniLennox on Twitter) with Lindsey Bahr (@ldbahr) ___ 2 p.m.

The sprawling golden carpet for the 70th annual Emmy Awards is heating up as security readies for the deluge of television stars headed for the Microsoft Theater Monday afternoon.

NBC’s Natalie Morales and Hoda Kotb were among the very early arrivals, making their way down the carpet before the inevitable traffic jam of bodies. Extra host Mario Lopez, who has a foot injury, zipped down the carpet on a tiny scooter keeping his left leg off the ground.

Although the temperatures in downtown Los Angeles are in the 80s, arriving attendees will not have to bear the brunt of the heat. The carpet area is covered by a massive tent and an army of industrial-size ceiling fans.

— Lindsey Bahr (@ldbahr on Twitter) on the Emmys red carpet ___ 3 a.m. As Emmy Award nominees nervously wait to hear their name called, or not, there’s more on the line at Monday’s ceremony than personal glory.

“Saturday Night Live” creator Lorne Michaels is tasked with turning viewership around, after the 2017 Emmy audience of 11.4 million narrowly avoided setting a new low.

“The Handmaid’s Tale” is the defending best drama series champ, with past winner “Game of Thrones” its top rival.

On the comedy side, the front-runners are FX’s “Atlanta” and Amazon Prime Video’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

Sandra Oh could become the first performer of Asian descent to win a top drama acting trophy for spy thriller “Killing Eve.”

The Emmys air 8 p.m. Eastern on NBC with “SNL” cast members Michael Che and Colin Jost as hosts.

By Associated Press

#acceptance speech #american crime #emmy win #limited series #limited series emmy award #Microsoft Theater #presented monday #regina king #supporting actress #teenage son #TodayNews

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The Funniest Woman In Hollywood Is In Search Of Her Next Big Role

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The Funniest Woman In Hollywood Is In Search Of Her Next Big Role

As Season 10 of It’s Always Sunny gears up, Olson looks ahead to what a life after Sweet Dee would be like. “Sometimes I’m like, Oh well, they just wanted a young pretty person, rather than a funny person.”

Kaitlin Olson is hating having her picture taken right now. The 39-year-old star of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia doesn’t say this out loud, but it’s not hard to tell that she is deeply, deeply uncomfortable — though she’s nowhere near as awkward in her own skin as her character Sweet Dee, a caustic and narcissistic would-be thespian, on the FX (and now FXX) cult comedy. “Could you play a bit with the tree?” the photographer gently asks her.

It’s an unusually warm Friday afternoon, and Olson is standing in the backyard of her contemporary Sherman Oaks home. The lawn is sprawling, with a trampoline on one end and a pool at the other; toy cars and pint-sized seats, the cast-offs of her two young children, litter one corner. A stylist fixes Olson’s hair as she begrudgingly twists her fingers through the tree’s branches. “Just hanging out, touching my tree,” Olson says out loud, to no one in particular. “You like photo shoots? It’s pretty great, standing by yourself, taking photos.”

For a seasoned actor like Olson — who’s been working consistently for the past 15 years in comedy roles, turning up on Curb Your Enthusiasm as Becky, Cheryl’s loud and opinionated sister; as Mimi’s vengeful nemesis, Traylor, on The Drew Carey Show; and currently on New Girl as the free-spirited girlfriend of Jess’ dad — it’s surprising that she’s not used to the being the center of attention by now. But she’s decidedly not.

The truth is, though, that Olson feeling anxious about this interview and photo shoot is entirely understandable. She’s heading into a 10th season of Sunny, and while that’s a place any actor would envy being in, she’s also arriving at a crossroads in her career. As Sunny begins to wind down, Olson will soon be leaving a show on which she’s been a linchpin for 10 years, and will have to look around the corner to see what lies ahead for her career.

“Could you maybe relax your shoulders a bit more?” the photographer asks her, trying a different tack. “I don’t know,” Olson says, laughing at the word relaxed, “because I’m definitely not.”

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Photograph by Macey Foronda for BuzzFeed

The biggest role in Olson’s career to date remains the 10 years she’s spent on Sunny as Deandra “Sweet Dee” Reynolds, a horrifying example of a human whose self-centered streak is often a driving force in the storyline. Such as in the Season 8 episode “The Gang Gets Analyzed,” when Dee’s therapist calls her out for lying about being the first choice as the female lead in The Notebook, and the episode ends with Dee repeating, “Tell me I’m good,” until her therapist finally relents. Or in a third season installment, “Dennis and Dee’s Mom Is Dead,” when Dee hears from a lawyer that she won’t be getting any inheritance, because she was “a mistake” (despite being Dennis’ twin), and her knee-jerk reaction is to dig up the grave so she can steal the jewelry off her mother’s dead body. But rather than be repulsed by her character’s more detestable nature, Olson has been able to connect with Dee.

“I can’t tell if I relate to her anymore or if I’m just so used to playing her and love her so much that it’s second nature,” Olson says. With the photographer and stylists gone, Olson finally seems more at ease, sitting at a long wooden outdoor table in her backyard and tucking her legs into her chest. “There’s a certain element of desperation and wanting people to like you… I was really shy. But I think because that was so sad for me when I was little, that it’s so hilarious and sad now, that I relate to that. I like this character’s way of handling it, way more than how I handled it. Which is, like, aggressively and angrily. Maybe it’s cathartic. I don’t know.”

“I was really proud to make Larry [David] laugh. The more I would yell at him the more he would laugh.”

And Olson not only relates to the idea of needing to fit in, but it’s something that’s apparent just from talking to Olson. Often she’ll end sentences with “I don’t know,” like she’s trying to take back what she just said in case you don’t like it. Several times, she stops herself from answering a question with “I don’t know if I can answer that question. I don’t want you to print anything I have to say,” or “I don’t know how to answer that, again, without having it in print sound like I’m being a real arrogant asshole.” Refusing to answer tough questions about Hollywood and her role in it proves doubly problematic though, and she softens the blow by pointing at the recorder and saying, “I’ll tell you when your thing’s off.”

That need to be liked started long before Olson made it to Hollywood, and it’s what initially led her to start performing. Olson grew up in perhaps the most un-Hollywood setting — on a six-acre farm in Oregon. Olson says her mom would whistle when it was time for dinner, and if you wanted a snack, you just ate out of the garden.

“Nobody was an actor,” Olson says of her family. “I started doing summer camp stuff in elementary school and loved doing the plays. I liked making people laugh. I remember that specifically, being really young and having my parents being in the audience and laughing. It wasn’t really a Oh, I’m the center of attention feeling, it was more Oh, I’m making them so happy right now feeling. I liked that.”

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Olson — with Julie Payne, Cheryl Hines, and Paul Dooley — rails at Larry (Larry David) on Curb Your Enthusiasm HBO

That sense of accomplishment — of making someone happy — is what drove her to attend the University of Oregon and major in acting, and it’s what would eventually take her to Los Angeles to fully commit to her vocation. “I thought it was beautiful. It was so sunny. It’s so cloudy and gray and rainy in Oregon,” Olson says of moving to Los Angeles. “I didn’t understand how anyone could ever be sad or depressed here. It was so beautiful.”

She took classes at The Groundlings and eventually made it into the Sunday company. To support herself, Olson worked three jobs: as a recruiter for a biotech company; as a receptionist in a hair salon; and as a salesperson at a boutique shop. “I worked hard,” Olson says. That determination paid off when she landed an audition for Larry David’s HBO comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm. “I’m not the ballsiest person, so I was very proud of myself for getting it,” Olson says. “I was really proud to make Larry laugh. The more I would yell at him the more he would laugh. Which was really fantastic. I loved that.”

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It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia originally started as a “writing exercise,” according to Rob McElhenney, who made a $200 homemade video pilot with Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton in an apartment. That pilot then sold to FX in 2005, and was given a budget of $400,000, less than a third of the cost of a traditional network comedy. It was shot with the caveat that they’d need to reframe the original storyline from being centered on three actors in Los Angeles to a group of friends who tend bar in Philly.

According to Howerton, one of the show’s executive producers, who also plays Sweet Dee’s twin brother, Dennis Reynolds, on the show, Olson came up against some stiff competition for the role of the hilariously vulnerable Dee; the final two actors considered were Olson and Kristen Wiig, according to Howerton, but in the end Olson landed it. (Wiig’s publicist did not respond to multiple requests for comment.)

“I knew her work from seeing her in Curb,” Howerton tells BuzzFeed News. “We wanted to find somebody who could be as funny as the guys, and we felt a lot of times in comedies, girls are so often relegated to the ‘oh, you guys’ role.”

Day, who fans know best as the ever-screaming and always emotionally unstable Charlie Kelly, echoes the sentiment that casting Olson was a no-brainer.

“We were blown away by how funny she was,” says Day. “I can’t think of an overall impression other than our general excitement that we found someone who was really right for this part.”

Oddly enough, it was McElhenney — to whom Olson is now married — who was less than convinced about her. During the audition, Olson accidentally left out a critical line in the script they’d given her, and McElhenney was nonplussed, to say the least.

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Howerton and Olson in an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia FX

“I left the room and Rob was like, How did she leave out the funniest line that was in there? and he didn’t want to cast me,” Olson says. “Rob, who I’ve now married, had to be talked into hiring me.”

The first time Olson and McElhenney met was during her audition, and despite any apprehension he had, she was cast as Dee, and the show premiered in 2005. Somewhere during filming Season 2, the pair started dating, though they wouldn’t officially come out as a couple until the show’s third season.

“Literally, the stupidest thing you can do in the entertainment industry is start dating your co-star on a television series that’s expected to continue,” McElhenney says in a phone interview. “Potentially, we could’ve ruined the dynamic of the TV series, but we jumped in anyway. I guess because I started to fall in love with her.” His voice softens as he says it.

They married in 2008 and have two sons, Axel (age four) and Leo (age two).

Mary Elizabeth Ellis, who plays The Waitress on Sunny and is married to Charlie Day in real life, first met Olson when they were on a flight to shoot the pilot. “The guys flew to Philly early, and I flew on a flight with Kaitlin,” Ellis explains. “We had a lot of cocktails together and were like, OK, you’re great, we’re going to be best friends.”

Ellis vividly remembers the moment when she found out Olson and McElhenney were dating. It was during a press junket, and they all sat down in a hotel room. “They were like, ‘We have something to tell you guys,’ and Kaitlin just starts crying and says, ‘I love him. I love him so much, you guys. He’s such a great person. We don’t want you guys to be mad at us because we’re dating and on the show,’” Ellis says, laughing. “It just made us laugh so hard, because it was such a funny way to reveal that they were dating for the first time. They’re just so great together.”

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Patrick McElhenney/FX

None of this would have happened if Olson had chosen not to take the role of Sweet Dee, which she considered in those early days.

The character was written as the typical straight man, which Olson had no interest in playing. “There were three episodes that were already written that I had to do that were just very like, ‘You guys. Come on, you guys. That’s stupid, you guys,’” Olson says. “But I was very clear about not wanting to do that.” (“I don’t think we did a great job writing her character the first season,” Howerton says.)

It speaks to Olson’s character that she wasn’t willing to just simply lay down and read the lines she was dealt; she took an active role in shaping the character and how she wanted to play Dee. “She pulled Rob aside, because he was the showrunner, and said she didn’t want to do the show if her character wasn’t funny,” Howerton says.

Olson only took the role after many conversations with McElhenney about how the character of Dee would be shaped. “He was like, ‘Look, we just don’t know how to write for a woman, but we’ll figure it out,’” Olson says. “And I was like, ‘Well then, don’t write for a woman. Just write — look at all these great funny characters you wrote. Just write one of those. I’ll make it female.’”

Despite initial character setbacks, the Dee of the past nine seasons is hilarious, and the most physically comedic role on the show. (Witness her free-form dance moves.) Dee’s actions don’t fall victim to the conventions usually dealt to women in comedy. Dee was Bridesmaids before there even was a Bridesmaids. She is crude beyond belief at times. She flails her arms and spits venomous, half-baked threats at anyone within earshot. She falls — a lot — and fake-vomits so convincingly that it’s become a running gag on the show. “I’ve never heard somebody do a gag so funny,” Howerton says. “You know, suppressing puke, it’s just a weird gift she has.”

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Olson runs head-first into a parked car on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia FX

In the second season episode “Charlie Gets Crippled,” Olson wears a back brace and hobbles on crutches as she drags her legs behind her. In “Who Pooped The Bed?” she runs out of a shoe store in stilettos and slams headfirst into a car so hard that there’s a dent, a stunt Olson performed without a stunt double.

“We had a stuntwoman do it, and it didn’t look very real, and then Kaitlin did it, and actually ran into the car, probably almost breaking her neck,” Day says with a laugh. “It’s just one of the funniest moments of physical comedy I think in the history of the show.”

Olson furrows her brows as she stares across the lawn. “I don’t want the stunt double to do it, unless it’s like a quick thing, because that’s part of the acting. I want to do that,” she says. “There’s a lot of acting that happens in between the running out and the head-hitting.”

The only problem is that Olson is extremely clumsy. “If there is a tack on the floor, she will step on it,” Howerton says. During the filming of Sunny, Olson has broken her back, her foot, her heel, and while on set, she fell through a floorboard and ripped her calf open on a metal spike.

“Our idea of Dee was not as physical as Kaitlin is,” McElhenney says. “It’s something we sort of found with the way she carries herself.”

Olson sighs. “I’m very long,” she says. “I’m very unaware of how long my limbs are and I bash into things a lot, and Rob makes fun of me a lot… I’ll do something and Rob will tell me to do it again and I didn’t even know it was funny.”

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Photograph by Macey Foronda for BuzzFeed

Olson is, as Howerton says, nothing like her Sweet Dee character, though fans of the show often have a hard time accepting that. “They assume I’m drunk and loud and that I want to do shots and stay up all night,” she says, laughing.

The home that Olson shares with McElhenney is immaculate, despite the fact that they have two children under the age of four. When her youngest, Leo, comes home from school, her entire face lights up and she wraps him in a warm hug before excusing herself to put him down for a nap. And an ideal Friday evening is one spent at home, according to both Olson and McElhenney. “A perfect night is coming home, having dinner, putting the kids to bed, and opening a bottle of wine and watching Game of Thrones,” McElhenney says.

Olson is often described by those who know her as nurturing and protective — “I think of her as a lioness,” McElhenney says. “She’s extremely protective of her children, like I fear oftentimes for my life if I cross a line. I’m afraid she’s going to snap my fucking neck. The way a female lion might with her cubs.” — very un-Dee qualities. She was “raised by hippies” in Oregon (McElhenney’s words) and cooks organic food, grows herbs in her garden, and uses homeopathic remedies.

“My motherhood life is sort of private … it’s so special to me I don’t want it attacked or to have that part be annoying to people.”

“She’ll pick something from the garden to heal a wound and it will magically disappear,” her friend and fellow actor Tricia O’Kelley (of Gilmore Girls and Devious Maids) says. Day: “In the 10 years that we’ve been doing [the show], I don’t think I’ve ever seen her get a cold. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

Her weakness is watching any of the Real Housewives shows, and she says that if she ever does get time to relax, she’ll check into a hotel nearby to “literally just order room service with a girlfriend and get massages and drink wine and watch Bravo.”

And because her private life is so starkly different from her television persona, she tends to keep it under wraps. “I feel like people only want to hear me say funny things. Like, I don’t tweet about my kids or being a mom ever, because I’m very aware that that’s annoying for people to hear,” Olson says. “So everything is true, but I just feel like my motherhood life is sort of private, because it’s so special to me I don’t want it attacked or to have that part be annoying to people.”

And everyone around Olson mentions how her role as a mother is an enormous part of her identity. “Motherhood has changed her a lot for sure, it’s by far her number one priority is those children,” O’Kelley says. “Everything else comes in a distant second. Her family as a whole — Rob, their marriage — her family is her priority.”

When asked what he sees as being next for Olson, her husband agrees that while her career is a priority, family will always come first for them. “She would love to build out a movie career and see what’s next in television,” McElhenney says. “But I do know the thing that’s most important to her now is to make sure these boys are raised well.”

Olson concurs. “Parenthood has become number one,” she says. “So I’ll only take something if it fits in, and if it doesn’t interfere with my ability to be a good mom. And that’s the truth and that’s how it will always be, because I feel that.”

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Photograph by Macey Foronda for BuzzFeed

Motherhood might be Olson’s priority at this point, but acting is a very real and large part of her world. “I would love to do more film,” she says at one point. “I really like TV, but yeah, in the interests of doing something different I would love to do more films.” She pulls at her silk shirt. “I’m not having any more babies. I want to work.”

In a year when Time named 2014 the “Best Year for Women Since the Dawn of Time,” it’s still a year where female-led comedy shows like Selfie, Super Fun Night, and Trophy Wife were canceled. And a year in which the most anticipated female-driven comedies — Tammy, Obvious Child, and They Came Together — made a very small dent in the film landscape. Obvious Child grossed just $3.1 million at the box office, and They Came Together grossed under $1 million. While Tammy was a financial success, making close to $100 million at the box office, if you compare that to male-driven buddy comedies like 22 Jump Street (which grossed close to $200 million), there seems to be a disconnect between what Hollywood is offering and what Americans are seeing.

“Look, I’m never going to understand what Middle America wants, because I’m on a show that Middle America doesn’t necessarily like, but I think is really funny,” Olson says, wrapping her arms across her chest. “I think there’s definitely a shift, and no one’s funnier than Melissa McCarthy and she’s doing really well, you know, so hopefully.”

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Sasha Roiz and Olson on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia FX

Whether or not middle America likes Sunny or Olson, there does seem to be a shift happening. Ellen DeGeneres hosting the 2014 Oscars led to an 8% increase in viewership, and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have hosted the Golden Globes for the past three years, but is that enough? “For sure, there’s not enough funny roles for women in Hollywood, period,” Howerton says. “I’m happy to say that we personally — in Sunny and other things that we’re working on and have written — always try to make it a priority to write funny female roles.”

Even if what Olson and Howerton say is true — that Middle America doesn’t like the kind of comedy Olson wants to do, and there aren’t enough comedic roles for women in general — what does that mean for Olson as she leaves Sunny to explore other roles? Where do you go when the film and television landscape isn’t in your favor?

Olson doesn’t seem entirely sure, other than that she’d like to try out a character who isn’t quite so heightened and extreme as Dee. “I don’t know that I want to do something super dramatic. Our show and our characters are so heightened; I would like to do a more realistic person, who’s going through something really hard, but deals with it in a humorous way,” she says. But at the moment, those aren’t the parts she’s being offered.

“What I get a lot of is ‘We know you can make this funny.’ Stuff that’s like, it’s OK, but then I’m supposed to make it funny,” Olson says. “It’s a great compliment… But I don’t know if I’m interested in taking something that’s OK and being the one that’s responsible for making it funny.”

“I think a lot of men are scared to act opposite a woman who is as funny as they are.”

When asked why she thinks she hasn’t been offered more roles at this point, Olson says, “Sometimes I’m like, oh well, they just wanted a young pretty person, rather than a funny person. That’s discouraging, because there’s nothing I can do about that.” Olson pauses, and then softens the blow with, “I love my job. I got really lucky. I love my character and this circumstance, but it is a little confusing why, in my off time, I’m not doing more. I can’t really blame it on ‘oh well, I’m pregnant’ anymore.”

The actors who have worked with Olson know what she’s capable of, and vehemently speak of her potential. “I’m pissed off at the world that she’s not a giant movie star,” Ellis says of Olson. “I just think she has so much to offer: She’s a great comedian but she’s also a great actress.”

For his part Howerton offered his own take. “I just think it’s a shame that she hasn’t been more recognized, and that more roles have not been thrown at her. I think a lot of men are scared to act opposite a woman who is as funny as they are, and who will give them a run for their money for being the funniest person in that project,” he says. “And I think a lot of times she doesn’t get cast in things because she’s so funny, and I think that’s fucked up.”

When asked if this was at all true, Olson appears hesitant to answer and seems borderline uncomfortable. She pauses before responding. “I hope not, but I feel like that’s happened a few times. I just hope that, if it is true, it starts to shift soon. Because it’s a shame. I don’t know if I can answer that question. I don’t want you to print anything I have to say.”

After a long pause — where she leans across the table, then sits back and re-tucks her legs into her chest — she says, “Yeah, I just, I love Glenn for saying that and for recognizing it, and, well, you know, Rob says all the time, he’s like, ‘Look. That must not be what America wants because if it were, you’d see more of it.’ People, women, want to see women being pleasant. But for some reason, we want to see men be really funny. I think that’s starting to change, you know, ever since Bridesmaids really. So that’s really awesome. I think that’s the part that I’ll focus on and just hang in there.”

During a time where Olson does have to consider and weigh every word she says, because those words could lead to her next big role or prevent her from landing it, it’s clear that she’s nervous about it all — about posing with the tree, how she’ll be perceived by viewers, and what people think of her, and wanting to be liked by an audience larger than the one she’s cultivated with Sunny. “I hope it’s not threatening for me to be as funny as I can be and work with a really funny man,” she says emphatically, straightening her posture and finally relaxing. “To me, that sounds like an amazing movie.”

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/kaitlin-olson-its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

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