#self-harm //

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or dial 988 or (en Español)

The Trevor Project (LGBT crisis intervention) or dial 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline or dial 1-877-565-8860 (en Español)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self Abuse or 1–800-DONT-CUT (366–8288)

National Eating Disorders Association

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[mothprincess]

Andrea Gibson, from “Time Piece,” You Better Be Lightning  

[platoapproved]

I didn't know it was a gift. I wore it like a curse. I was selfish. I tried to make nights awful for you. I wanted you to suffer, because I was... suffering. I came to thank you. For the gift you offered me. The gift I denied.

[depresso-espresso-5150]

My thoughts have destroyed me more than blades ever could.

I dunno

[theartofasty]

waiting for the day when an indie game dev has the guts and wants to collab with me on a game with a traditional art aesthetic where I get to design the characters and/or hand-paint the model textures

[honeydippedspinalcolumn]

[x]

[scrupulosity-comics]

logically I know that a device designed for trimming the stems of flowers is going to break before it successfully performs a self-inflicted amputation of a human limb. BUT. that’s not going to stop the version of me that is apparently going to be possessed with an irresistible violent urge to my own fuck shit up for no reason.

[disastermanagement]

redraw of old comic where shadow could have easily solved his android insecurities with but one solution.

.........or perhaps not!

[fivewholeminutes]

A Series of Small Offerings

PART ONE -8- The Way That You Were

To tear that knife from what once / Would have been dead fingers

I have. Struggled a lot with this one, but I am glad it is done. I've had this idea rotating in my brain for a month and I have tried starting it at least 3 times both traditionally and digitally before I decided to turn it into a cut out, because I feel the most confortable making cut outs, actually.

HUGE, ENORMOUS shotout to @copper-sands / @ancientbygone for being my hand anatomy expert!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Without it this piece would look way worse <3

[maximumkillshot]

I Got You

Warnings: Mentions of Self-Harm, Cutting and the Like, some mentions of blood, Fluff, Protective boys honestly

Pairing: Changbin x Reader

Characters: Changbin, BangChan, Felix, OC Manager,

A/N: It's a comfort piece for @orchid-mantis-petals and everyone else struggling... You are a warrior... Don't forget it.

‘This is bullshit!” You scream as you walk into the dorm. Slightly startling the inhabitants. 

Changbin rounds the corner to the living room where you just plopped, with creatine in hand, “You know hobbies are supposed to have the opposite effect on you, right, Jagi?” He knows you love doing your hobby. As much as you despise your job, if anything helps you, it's going out and indulging yourself. 

This was your only off day in the last two months. As much as you hate it, you need to be an adult, your words, not his. Your boyfriend and his friends know that he has offered thousands of times just to quit so that you can find a healthier job for you mentally, he’d take care of you. You just looked at him and said, “Yeah, no. I need to do things on my own, Binnie.” But this is what he was talking about. 

He put the supplement away and said, “Do you want to talk about it or give me an address so that I can put my muscles to good use?” as he sat, dragging you to his lap, “Because as much as I say I do it for the look, I do it to protect you. And someone hurt my Jagi so… You tell me who I need to beat up.”

You chuckled as you said, “They did it again…” 

Bin took a big breath and hissed out, “When you say ‘it’ you don’t mean scheduling you for a shift without telling you… right?”Then he took a breath and said, “Because if they did that then I… I am going to need addresses Jagi.”

Chan heard the big entrance and walked in from the bathroom, one look at Bin and he said, “Oh no.. okay how bad. On a scale of 1-10.” You could see that he just got out of the shower, some beads of water still clinging to his shoulders, sweatpants neatly tied on his hips.

Bin just looked at him and said, “They did it again…”

Chan’s face soured, “Oh ok so 11. Y/N. We talked about this.” he said as he crossed his arms. 

You see, this is a very common occurrence at your job. For some reason, they give you no notice and expect you to telepathically understand that you need to come in on your weekend. This pissed everyone off especially…

There’s a knock at the door and Felix just walks in… he takes one look at his Hyungs and he knows, especially with the frustrated tears that are now rolling down your cheeks. “What’s going on? What happened?”

He dropped the brownies he just baked in the kitchen and came back in. Bin wiped some of your tears away as he said, “They did it again.”

Felix is usually the nicest person in a room. His face however reflected nothing but disdain, “A day off is a day off…. How hard is it for them to get???” He wiped his forehead, trying to flatten the scowl he had on his face. 

“Guys it’s okay.” You said, knowing that all they are going to do is worry about you more.

Felix looked at you and said, “Actually not it isn’t, Cinnamon Roll. It’s not fucking okay. Not when you work so hard for so long that you can barely get out of bed… That is not okay.”

Chan said, “Okay screw this nooope.” He went into Bin’s room then his own and then his own. He emerged with his hoodie on and he threw the keys at Bin. “You are not going through this anymore, Angel. We told you. Naur.”

You looked and said, “Guys.”

Bin gently said, “Listen to me, okay. We talked about this. If they ever did this again, you said yourself that you couldn’t do it anymore. We told you, we are not going to let this happen, and you agreed, did you not?”

“Yes”

“Ookay so we are going right now. You’re done working there. Let’s go.” Bin left no room for discussion as you four piled into the car. These boys have seen you through it all, including passing out from exhaustion when they forced you to work doubles, and others spraining parts of your body you didn’t know you could sprain. That’s the times that are passing through Bin’s head. He hated seeing you like that… for a paycheck?? He couldn’t fathom it. Not when he makes enough and has a bed for you, a home if you say the word. No, he was done watching his Baby getting hurt for something he has plenty of. 

Chan was always worried sick about you. He knows about your history. He remembers the first times he noticed your scars. He didn’t pry, didn’t want you to feel bad. That made him fiercely protective of you. When you did tell him and you pulled up your right sleeve, he wanted to cry. He asked if he could touch it, and you said yes. He noticed some of them connected to make a pair of Angel wings. “Ah, you have the mark of an angel.” He traced it, “A warrior angel… You are so so strong… I’m gonna call you that, Angel.” Since then that has been your nickname.

Felix got so angry because he knew the trigger for you was emotion regulation, and while no one was watching you were digging into your right forearm with your left.  He caught you once, 5 weeks ago. He had tears in his eyes as he helped you clean it. He asked you how long, what triggered it, and how he could help. He just wanted to help his Cinamon Roll. He went with you to tell Bin of the relapse and since then at least 3 times a week he’s at your place, helping take your mind off of the stress, even if it means him staying with you until Bin comes to yours. 

He noticed in the car your left hand was scratching at the old scars again, he held his hand out and said, “hold my hand… I need affection.” as he fake cried. You giggled as you grabbed his hand, stopping the urge to fiddle. 

As soon as the car stopped Bin hopped out and opened the door for you. When they walked in Bin knew who he was looking for as your manager glared at you and said “You’re late.”

Bin laughed as he approached them, “late for what? Another shift you didn’t tell them about?”

They were speechless, as he continued, “Do you know what they go through for you? I love them so much and all you do is hurt them… That stops today, okay. No two weeks notice, no nothing.” 

Their jaw dropped and he said, “Oh doesn’t feel so nice does it? Not knowing if something was going to happen… Well your staff shortage, just got worse. If the last check isn’t in the mail on time, then we are coming back, and you will be dealing with 8 very pissed-off men who have a lot of connections and millions of people in their fanbase… Bad press wouldn’t begin to cover it. Okay? Am I clear?” 

They just nodded and he said, “Good. Jagia, do you have anything you need from your locker?” 

You said, “Yeah I do.”

Bin looked at Chan and he nodded, Chan switched out with Bin and said, “We’re going to have a little chat about leadership and manners. Okay?” 

Bin went to you and escorted you to get your things. Once you have everything you both went back to the front and signaled Felix and Chan to fall back. You couldn’t explain the relief as you walked to the car. When Felix and Chan got in the car. Bin opened the door for you. Before you got in he kissed your scars and said, “I love you… all of you, it’s over, okay? I got you.” Tears started to paint your face as he kissed you. Before he started crying he guided you in and closed the door. 

Right after he closed his door he said, “So I don’t know about everyone else but Y/N’s day is now free which means we go to their favorite pastry shop and get those Apple Cinamon Rolls and have a movie marathon. If you don’t like it too bad we are doing it anyway!!”

You started giggling as Chan cranked the stereo. You had a lot of things that you deal with yes, but this moment let you realize, that you weren’t going through it alone. Especially not with Binnie, Lixie, and Chan. ----------------------------------------------------------------

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THE CHAOS EXPRESS 🚂❤️❤️

@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat , @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung , @diddybok , @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, 

@laylasbunbunny ,@uwuitsjungwoo , @3racha-soup , @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te , @3rachababygirl , @symptoms-of-moonlight , @hiddlestandom , @stay-fr0sty-r0yal-milk-tea , @8rach4, @bear8585 , @tenshimara , @galamxy, @fairlylilo , @skzms, @lolareadsimagines , @lillithathecat , @manuosorioh , @jazziwritesthings , @soulsbbg , @tuskaruska , @emmxxsworld , @maaatyroshka , @orchid-mantis-petals , @thisrandomgoofy15 , @lolareadsimagines , @notastraykid , 

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

Vash and Alcoholism

I’m still chipping away at essays for volume 5 and might write stuff for 6 but I need to stop and talk about this panel.

Warning for discussion of alcoholism and self-harm.

[ID: Crop of two panels from Trigun Maximum Volume 6 chapter 5. The first panel we see Vash looking down at the alcohol he spilled on his coat and prosthetic arm. The speech bubbles say “Ha... he he...” The second, much larger panel is a close up of his face. Most of his face is in shadow, except for the bridge of his nose and one eye, which is closed and crinkled like he’s smiling. He’s holding his damp hand to his mouth, accompanied by a word bubble that says “slurp”. End ID.]

Something about this is genuinely so disturbing. He’s been caught day drinking during a  shootout, laughs weakly, then drinks the spilled alcohol on his hand. The way his eye is drawn makes me think he’s supposed to be smiling, but the rest of his face is in stark shadow and I just. If I’m remembering right up until this point Vash has been seen drinking but as a joke or as part of a larger celebration (see the celebration for the message from Earth. He had the goofy tie around his head and everything). This is the first time we see Vash as alcoholic, seeing it as the unhealthy and inadequate coping mechanism it is.

He looks strange for the rest of the fight too, looking both exhausted but also frightening and uncanny, like:

[ID: Crop of a two page spread from Trigun Maximum Volume 6 chapter 5. Vash is holding his gun but is standing in a strange pose, his torso bent over, neck bent further, with an unsettling and blank expression on his face. End ID.]

God. He looks so. I’m not even sure how to describe it. He’s still doing his usual Vash routine, refusing to kill, but he seems detached or absent from his own head.

Maybe it’s because I have a family history of alcoholism and I’m desperately afraid of developing a dependency myself (with my mental health history it feels likely) but seeing Vash like this is so upsetting. Combined with shooting at the target in the first chapter until he bled (which read as self-harm to me) we’re seeing Vash become more overtly self-destructive.

And from what I remember of future chapters it’s only going to get worse.

Update: Well this post blew up. Everyone’s additions are so good! Glad we all agree that alcoholism is scary and dangerous and that Vash is slowly destroying himself in the worst way. Glad to share TrigunBookClub with a bunch of smart, very sad people <3

[blackk-c0ffee]

VENT ART?? this is pretty interesting ngl.. cuz I felt literally nothing while making it. Kinda why I never make vent drawings. Like I'm too depressed to draw bro I'd rather eep 😭

[aeli-tan-art]

The Bad Batch - Reunion 0.5

EPOS + UE 5

audio: Pixabay

modern-classical-tense-sad-piano by: Ashot-Danielyan-Composer

[themenendezbrothers]

“The idea that I was having a good time is absurd. Everything was to cover up this horrible pain of not wanting to be alive. One of the things that kept me from killing myself was that I felt like I would be a complete failure to my dad at that point.” - Erik Menendez

“I was not enjoying myself as a playboy. I was actually sobbing a lot at night, sleeping poorly, very distraught at times, and kind of adrift throughout all those months.” - Lyle Menendez

[honeydippedspinalcolumn]

[x]

[justjenah]

Cowboyification as Harm Reduction

I find Michael’s cowboyification to be fascinating.

It would be incredibly easy to reduce his choice to embrace being a cowboy as simple machismo or toxic masculinity. But I would argue it’s much closer to a form of harm reduction.

When it comes to accusations of machismo or toxic masculinity, Michael’s own actions repeatedly seems to defy those claims.

When we see Michael and Mike in Latvia, in seasons four and five especially, Michael is incredibly open with Mike about the fact that he struggled and likely engaged in self harm.

See episode 58 for example:

Mike: This afternoon you mean. Why are we eating breakfast at 1 in the afternoon?

Michael: Because I waited for you, dipshit. Yes, I am always in pain, and I self-destructed just like you did and that’s how I know that it’s pointless. You can see the scars on my chest it’s not like I’m coverin’ ‘em up. Yes, I’m in pain, but I also grew the fuck up. You can look into the darkness, you have to it’s healthy to look, but you can’t stay there. There is no home there. There is only wilderness. My advice is come inside ‘cuz people are waiting for you there.

He doesn’t tell Mike to bury his feelings or to get over it. He tells him that it’s dangerous to live in your regret.

Michael is honest about the fact that he too felt crushed under the weight of the violence and tragedy he experienced. He’s perfectly willing to talk about it and willing to share his experiences.

There is an argument to be made that Michael’s cowboyification is harmful as it feeds into his tendency to be self sacrificial to protect those people he considers “his”. And while I think there’s some truth there I think it glosses over the fact that this is a trait that already existed.

An episode 46 Mikey runs into tier 2 without a second thought upon seeing a picture of Edgar’s corpse.

In episode 49, The Princess Daffodil Experiment, we learned that he is planning to be the first human at Base to be consolidated with the calculators and is later upset when he realizes that it will be Edgar who ends up testing that aspect of the technology on himself out of necessity.

I think in actuality, what the Cowboy identity does is give Michael focus, and helps him remember he has people to live for and to work in service of.

If we look at the Michael iteration from the 101 timeline, we find a Michael who is mostly unable to function. He sleeps most of the day, drinks to excess, and is overall deeply unhappy. He has very few if any enjoyment in his day to day except perhaps drinking with Boris. Mike makes reference to the fact that he half expects to find Michael dead, not from time travel murder shenanigans, but from excessive drinking. This is not a moral judgement of him but an observation that this looks like another form of self harm.

Given Mike experiences a similar period of heavy drinking and deep emotional distress that impairs his ability to function in seasons 4 and 5, it doesn’t feel like a stretch to assume that without his cowboy persona Michael likely would not be able to handle the demands of being alive, never mind corrections and unraveling time travel mysteries.

In fact Cowboyfication brings with it some real net positives. Michael may have a self sacrificial streak like all Mikes Walters (species) but as a cowboy he allows himself some selfish pleasures. He learns to hunt and goes out boar hunting with Boris. He learns how to cure meat and seems to take some pleasure in cooking. He cultivates a relationship with the neighborhood crows, and takes joy is developing a sartorial identity. He even allows himself to fall in love again, something that is difficult to imagine him doing for himself without becoming a cowboy. Loving Sly openly is a real act of self love and a recognition that he too deserves something in his life that is in service to no one but himself.

Cowboyification brings with it an ability for Michael to enjoy life while still acknowledging the hardships and tragedies that befall him.

It isn’t perfect by any means but in issues of mental health, it is often more important to find strategies that improve quality of life and reduce harm. Expecting a cure is not just unrealistic but often actively harmful.

When comparing 101 Michael to the cowboy we all know and love it feels clear that this is a great example of what harm reduction looks like: imperfect but meaningfully better than the alternative.