#the cleaning lady 3x02

[televisionpromos]

The Cleaning Lady 3x02 "For My Son" Promo - Thony turns to Ramona to get Fiona back to the United States but finds herself indebted. Meanwhile, a secret Fiona has kept hidden for decades comes to light, creating friction between herself and family members.

[eg515]

I forgot about the new season of The Cleaning Lady starting earlier this month, so I just watched the first two episodes at once now and..... it's all so messy

I really hope they figure out where they're going with this, because it doesn't really look like it just yet

[goodwhump-temp]

Dick Grayson Whump | Titans

1x01 Titans - Door to the face/knocked down 1x02 Hawk and Dove - Shoved, gut and face kicked 1x03 Origins - [Childhood; therapy] 1x05 Together - Punched, gutkicked, knocked against wall, elbowed, knocked out the window, swarmed, pistolwhipped x13, bloody nose 1x06 Jason Todd - Bloody nose, self-surgery 1x07 Asylum - Restrained in a padded room x2, heavily drugged x2, 'seizing', weak, knocked unconscious, hallucinating, thrown out window, hit with a baton x6, bleeding, unresponsive, tazed x2, punched/cut lip 1x11 Dick Grayson - Hostage

-----------------------------

2x01 Trigon - Hostage, [fake world; shot/killed], knocked down 2x05 Deathstroke - Punched x3, bodyslammed, hit with blade hilt, flashbanged 2x07 Bruce Wayne - Hallucinating the whole episode, guilt, talks to hallucination x5, emotional 2x08 Jericho - Punched x7, hit with baton x2, knocked down x2, stabbed x2, headbutted x3, kicked, weak, unconscious, guilt 2x09 Atonement - Punched, bloody nose, guilt 2x10 Fallen - Arrested 💀, pistolwhipped x2, bleeding 2x11 E.L._.O. - Isolated, hallucinating, fever, realized missing, beaten, [Fake world; stabbed x2, killed x2], shaking, choked x2, thrown, gutkicked, punched x3, kicked, elbowed, arm dislocated 2x13 Nightwing - Knocked down, kicked x4, tazed, guilt/grieving

-----------------------------

3x02 Red Hood - Caught in explosion, tinnitus 3x04 Blackfire - Kicked, shot (armor), shoulder shot (clean through), punched--x4, manhandled 3x06 Lady Vic - Bleeding, bandaged 3x07 51% - Thrown 3x08 Home - Hit by a car (13:50), passes out, hospital, hallucinating x4 3x10 Troubled Water - Hallucinating 3x11 Call is Coming From Inside the House - Punched, choked, shot x4 (armor), shot in the neck, bleeding out, kicked x1000 3x12 Prodigal - Actually dead, [crying], coughing, passes out

-----------------------------

4x01 Lex Luthor - Kicked 4x02 Mother Mayhem - Hit with staff, flipped, electrocuted 4x03 Jinx - Punched x2, kicked 4x07 Caul's Folly - Drugged (the cafe), tazed, kicked x2, choked & tazed combo, weak, passes out 4x08 Dick & Carol & Ted & Kory - Drugged, trauma flashbacks, headache (x5), hit by baton x8, manhandled, choked, brief amnesia 4x10 Game Over - Thrown, choked 4x12 Titans Forever - Knocked down x2, punched x2, hit with baton x3, bleeding, arm twisted, choked, heartbroken

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x02 thoughts

Still adjusting to this weird feeling of watching something that I really enjoy and that genuinely means a lot to me, yet also feels irreversibly altered from the thing I initially fell in love with...

But anyway. Many thoughts and spoilers ahead.

The main things:

This ep starts immediately after last ep (the case worker lady is in the same clothes, Luca gets cleaned up then goes to his appointment with her)

Thony telling Fi “I feel like I’m losing everyone” right as the opening credits roll, with Adan’s name missing… god this season is going to be such a fun game of counting how many times I cry per episode. Speaking of which, honourable mention to Thony immediately grabbing a beer (despite it being the middle of the day) and clearly trying not to cry as she tells Fi she's haunted by the look on Arman's face and that she shouldn’t have left him

“If we didn’t meet, my son wouldn’t be alive today (...) he only made it because of Arman” Ugh and that's really the heart of it, isn't it? Arman may be gone, but Thony and Luca’s lives are the legacy he left behind, and they'll carry him with them always

Thony daring Angel to kill her and face the consequences from Sin Cara… man, she really has learned a few things. But damn, who would have thought that her life would ever get to the point where she had to singlehandedly dismember like 5 corpses under threat of death, and then almost get caught red handed by the cops and have to bust out and run for it. Yikes lol

Honestly, poor Thony seems like she’s barely holding on by a thread now; this season is definitely showing us how much being without Fi and Arman (particularly Arman, given that Fi has been gone a little while) affects her, and tbh Elodie really did a great job of selling the utterly unstable, panicked-to-the-point-of-throwing-up, shaky look that she wears for half the episode lol

Gotta say, watching Thony and Jorge interact is a really interesting juxtaposition from her and Arman… Arman was genuinely taken with her right from the start, and was the one who was instigating most of their early interactions. Jorge wants nothing to do with her, and Thony is the one trying to form a connection (not for personal reasons obviously, but to gain him as an ally and therefore potentially benefit from his protection). And unlike Thony and Arman's natural chemistry and the softness that came from him helping Luca so early on, these two are so stilted and awkward, and they clash on everything– on the kind of man Arman was, the killing of the rival cartel guys, the jobs Sin Cara wants her to do, her showing up at his daughter’s school, etc. Ngl, while I absolutely do not want it to happen, I could see the shippability of a dynamic like this– the initial opposition between them, only to find that they are more alike than they think, etc? It's a classic. Also, her wearing his hoodie?? In two separate interactions, including one in private, and she didn't give it back?? Bitch that was just mean of the writers to do that to me

I have always cared about Nadia and wanted the best for her, and honestly this season has me feeling even more strongly about her. She really is ride or die for Arman, just like Thony is, and I love that she came to Thony this ep fully expecting them to take on the cartel as a team, and then felt genuinely betrayed and let down when Thony seemingly abandoned the search for Arman out of fear of the cartel. Little does Nadia know that Thony is both actively searching for Arman and trying to save all their lives rn. Sigh, so many problems in this show could be avoided if people were just honest with each otherrrrr (though of course the whole reason Thony didn't tell her the truth was to avoid endangering her). But anyway, nobody better be hating on Nadia for turning to Russo here– tbh it was a pretty logical move for her situation, and given that things are obviously going to work out okay for Thony in the end (being the main character and all) I'm actually kinda happy for this betrayal to happen, as it will actually put them on more even footing in their relationship and allow them to have a truce moving forward

Clearly the tail that Ramona has on Thony is better at their job than Kamdar’s was lol… though I guess part of the point of Kamdar’s guy was to be seen, to intimidate her and remind her of his power through the others he controls, whereas (at least where Thony is concerned) Ramona does all her intimidating and power-reminding herself. Gotta respect that level of badassery lol, and in some ways it highlights just how important Thony is in Ramona's eyes. She can see that Thony clearly means a lot to Arman, and so she sees protecting her as the key to reconciling with him. Sighhh. Well, let’s just hope Thony has proved her worth to them by the time they learn Arman is dead... (I mean obviously of course she will, bc again, main character lol)

Other stuff:

As an Aussie I need to know the backstory behind Luca’s stuffed toy koala lol

Fi really didn’t handle the father/son intro well at all lol. At least they fixed the continuity issue with her supposed ‘one night stand’. Chris did get over his anger impressively fast for a 15 year old though lol… one chat/cooking session with dad and everything was all better haha

Jorge’s instant code-switching with the teacher where he got all friendly and pleasant and put on a more US-American accent?? Nice. Great commentary on the way immigrants have to deliberately alter things about themselves to be more 'palatable' to white Americans, thereby making their own lives safer

I feel like the costume department deliberately chose aviator-style (cool, rebellious, unreadable) sunglasses for Jorge as another point of difference from Arman, who always wore the sleeker, more sophisticated Ray Bans

Violetta is freaking ADORABLE

Okay as someone who has listened to so much Ruby Ibarra since early 2022, the Ruby cameo was pretty cool actually… they should have had Chris/Sean dance though!

It was nice to see Fi’s parents (specifically her dad) being more supportive of her finally

What’s the bet that the money from Paolo ends up saving both their asses at some point

The ep title ‘For my son’ was cool in that it was both a reference to Thony’s signature line about doing everything for her son (particularly considering the custody issues, and the intensely terrible stuff she had to do this ep) and also to the Paolo & Chris storyline, given that their entire arc happened within this ep and ended with the 'for my son' note. Nicely done, writers.

[uarenotapumpkin]

did kenny’s girlfriend kill him?

i’m most likely over analysing, but hear me out - i saw a parallel between eve’s meeting with villanelle in 1x01, and her meeting with kenny’s gf in 3x04.

of course, the obvious connection is that they’re in a public bathroom. i admit that alone doesn’t warrant much thinking... but there’s more:

1. eve is fixing her hair/ appearance

2. villanelle/ kenny’s girlfriend enter the scene seemingly serving no purpose (from eve’s perspective)

i then remembered that this isn’t their only bathroom encounter with references to 1x01: 

3. one of two toilets is out of order

4. eve sits on toilet 

they are vaguely similar scenes. if the scenes in 3x02 and 3x04 are a parallel to 1x01 then they might serve a similar purpose: eve has an ostensibly meaningless encounter but later discovers its significance. 

i know this seems like a jump, but just keep reading.

i kept asking myself, what was the purpose of kenny’s girlfriend in that scene? in the 3x04 scene i thought that it could be to emphasise that eve was at the bitter pill and using the space inappropriately... but that was already pretty clear (sleeping on couch, cleaning teeth, using hand dyer for her arm pits). in the 3x02 scene it was seemingly to hint to eve that kenny had a girlfriend. what what was the point of that plot point? why did he keep her a secret? it hasn’t served any purpose as of yet. there had to be more to it.  

essentially, the question remains: WHAT IS HER PURPOSE? 

even without the bathroom parallels she is SUSPICIOUS. she has not benefited the plot at all thus far, and i refuse to believe she is just a poorly written/ developed character. she has to become important at some stage - thats a given. the question we should be asking is how?

with the bathroom parallel in mind, my theory is that they might be hinting to us that kenny’s girlfriend is like villanelle... she might be kenny’s killer.

another thing to remember is that kenny left his phone on his desk and went upstairs. so he obviously knew and trusted the person. i’ve seen a lot of theory’s about konstantin being the killer and i consider that an option too... but it just feels a bit obvious and i honestly don’t think kenny knew konstantin well enough to go onto a roof without his phone. my idea is that maybe kenny was going for a secret rendezvous w/ his gf. she could be working w/ the 12 and monitoring kenny. (we know the 12 have people monitoring important people because the hot french lady knew that villanelle had been chasing eve around - i wouldn’t even be suprised if kenny’s gf was the one that told the 12 villaneve had an encounter. she could have known because eve came into the bitter pill after with the bruise). she could have realised that kenny was getting to the 12 and done what she had to do. if she is a psychopath like villanelle (as hinted by the bathroom scenes) then she would have no problem with this. 

what do you guys think?

[medievalraven]

top 5 Rio moments

Wow - can I just say all of them?  Fine I guess if I have to pick 5, here are some of faves:

1: Rio meeting Beth, Ruby, and Annie about Eddie in 1x04 - I love how Rio switches between being more curt and snarky with Ruby and Annie to almost flirty with Beth.  There’s something just so great about scenes with all four of these characters and I love that Rio is having fun here - especially when he starts pulling the money out of his pocket (side note the music in this scene is perfect).  Also it features one of my favorite Rio smiles:

2: The dealership scene in 2x04 with Dean and Beth - Chaotic Rio who knows he has the upper-hand might be my favorite Rio energy (and probably Beth’s least favorite haha).  And this scene is just perfect to me from Rio dramatically pop out of the corvette talking about the ugly-ass ostrich interior to his iconic “Come on Ma, it’s too good” to him smashing the cars to his and Dean’s HR exchange.  Honestly this might be one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.

3: Rio being a boss in 3x04 - aka the moment I have been waiting for since 1x03.  I just enjoy seeing Rio in boss mode and operating his business - including him intimidating Gil, Beth’s employee.  Plus this scene was a great vehicle for Rio discovering Beth’s counterfeit business.

4: Rio’s “I flip my game” speech in 1x06 - There’s something special about this scene that I can’t really articulate.  I just love it.  I love that weird little leg switch thing Rio does before he stands up to “teach” the girls, I love the speech he makes, I love how he has to add a little dig at the girls at the end, and I love how he decides to up the drop at the end because Beth “delivered” (especially since this is done right against Dean dismissing Beth).  And it’s one of my favorite Rio looks.

5: The Beth/Rio/Dean showdown in 1x10/2x01 - Ugh these scenes - just so well done and they are perfect to me.  There’s just the right level of tension throughout and it’s just satisfying to watch.  Plus this scene features probably my favorite Rio look (black t-shirt, slightly bruised and bloody - yes I know I have problems) and two of my favorite Rio speeches - the “This stuff’s medieval, darlin’” monologue and the “You want to get down in the dirt so badly, but you wanna keep your hands clean” monologue.  Manny (and Christina and Matthew) just nail this scene.  10/10 would recommend.

And because I’m choosing to ignore the concept of “top five” enjoy some more favorites:

6: The hip-shift in 2x04 -  Look - this could have easily been number one, but I was trying to be a classy lady.  I just love the intensity in Rio’s gaze as he watches Beth play with her hair and I love how he just kinda rocks back and forth on the stool.  It’s good shit.

7: Rio making model airplanes in 3x01 - I never knew I needed a scene where Rio was in a t-shirt (!!!) casually making a model airplane for his son while describing said airplane as “dope.”  But now that I have it I cherish dearly.

8: Rio’s reunion with Marcus in 3x02 - He brought him the plane he made!  That hug!  The smile!  Him asking if Marcus was “hoopin’”.  I just really enjoyed this little glimpse into the softer side of Rio that the show had never shown before.

9: Rio checking out of the hotel in 3x01 - 98% of this is based on Rio saying “neat” while making that stupid face, the other 2% is him asking about his point status.  

10: Rio saying ‘Yo’ in 2x05 - This list wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t include this moment (and I know McCall would be disappointed in me too).  Honestly I just find Manny’s line delivery hysterical especially since he’s like dragging over a chair to the girls’ table when he says it.  It is un-ironically one of my favorite Rio lines.  

11: Rio, Ruby, and Annie on the park bench in 2x10 - The comedy trio of my dreams.  I love how relaxed Rio is versus how anxious Ruby and Annie are, I love the great face acting happening here, I love them.

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 3x02 Chapter Forty-Six

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Jane is having problems overcoming the fact that her husband got shot and almost died, and I almost forgot… they haven’t even had sex yet and now they must remain celibate for six more weeks until Michael is rehabilitated. At this point, I have to wonder if the show will continue to force Jane into virginhood ONLY so that the title of the show continues to be truthful. That’s torture.

2) A urine swapping PSA? What…?

3) Xiomara gives Jane some good advice – if she’s still having nightmares about Michael getting shot and dying, then she should talk to him about it and tell him that she’s not comfortable with him rejoining the force. Jane, of course, tells Xiomara that she doesn’t want to tell him any of it, because going back to work is not even a possibility yet. But… the day will come, and it’s always better to talk this type of things out before you have to cross that bridge.

4) Ay, Alba…

I have so many questions, but most importantly, why?

5) Is Rafael actually acing the parenting stuff? I know I give him a lot of flak, mostly because he’s quite often the literal worse, but now he’s the one who talked to the pediatrician and figured out Mateo needed to go back to his routine, and he brought up the issue in such a mature way, too. Like, it’s obviously MOSTLY because of Michael being in the hospital and all, and yet he comforted Jane and told her that it was his fault, too, and that both of them needed to work on getting Mateo back to his normal routine. Don’t make me regret complimenting you, Rafael.

6) How come no one has realized Petra is not Petra yet???

Okay, so the whole plan was to get Rafael’s money and leave. That was it. A bit underwhelming, I guess.

7) See? The work stuff would come up sooner than expected. Michael is already planning his comeback, and Jane ended up telling him how she didn’t want him to go back to work at all kind of in a very crappy way. Michael doesn’t take it too well, at first, but then he assures her that if she truly can’t live with him being a cop, then he’ll quit. Typically, Jane doesn’t want to ASK him to quit, she wants him to want to quit of his own accord to avoid the guilt of making him give up his dream job. I guess they’ll have to reach some type of compromise.

8) Jane sets out to try and overcome her trauma, so she decides to get back to her routine and face the fear of losing Michael by going back to the Marbella and walking its hall. Except… we see her going back to her routine over what seems to be a period of time, but we don’t see her walking the hall where her husband got shot? So I’m guessing she won’t get over that real quick, right?

9) Yep.

Every time she tries to go back to the Marbella, she is taken back to the night where she found her husband all bloodied and nearly dead.

10) How is Michael so comfortable knowing that Rafael is still in love with Jane…? Huh? He’s all jokey-jokey and exchanging knowing glances with Xiomara and smiling? What…?

11) Is this the only way of distracting men Anezka knows?

I mean, it’s effective and all, but girl! Vests is not even all that!

But apparently he’s more skilled than Rafael? So I guess, good for you, Anezka.

12) Michael and Rogelio continue to be my BROTP. They’re so sweet and supportive and understanding, I just love them.

13) I guess Rafael is over Jane. Well, in this episode, he is. And he admits that when he was not over her, he would do about anything to please her, including choosing a school for Mateo he wasn’t totally on board with. Now, though, he doesn’t care if disagreeing with her upsets Jane. It’s a great character development moment, but I’ve grown accustomed to this show, and I know he’ll be back to making puppy dog eyes at Jane in one to five episodes, so… *shrugs*

14) Xiomara is forced to come clean to Alba about having an abortion, which was bound to happen since she felt so guilty about keeping it hidden from her, and… it didn’t go well. I think that when it comes to Alba no reaction is worse than a bad reaction, right? She just walked away without saying anything. I’m just hoping she doesn’t get too preachy when they do have the conversation and that the only issue she has with the whole thing is the fact that Xiomara kept it hidden from her and didn’t give her the chance to choose whether she wanted to be there for her daughter. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

15) Did he just…?

I thought he was being cheeky and poking fun at Jane, but… he actually slipped up and called his wife “mom”. This is not cute and funny like when one of my young students calls me mom in the classroom. This is potentially creepy and dysfunctional… And to make it worse, Rafael witnessed the whole thing.

And I mean, Jane is acting like a doting mother, and they’re newlyweds who haven’t had sex yet, so it stands to reason that he would see her as a this Virgin Mary type.

16) This is it. This is the show.

17)  So, Alba did take the self-righteous / hypocritical approach, considering she advised Xiomara to get an abortion when she got pregnant with Jane. And like, what’s the point? What’s the point of the whole guilt trip? It’s not like Xiomara can take the abortion back, and considering how distressing going through that can be, why would you add more guilt and shame to it? Why not be supportive and swallow your self-righteousness and I-told-you-sos? I’d somewhat get it if Xiomara hadn’t gone through with it yet, but after the fact? Seriously?

18) Jane thinks that Mateo biting people may have to do with people showing aggressive behavior around him, but maybe it’s because he’s feeding off her mom’s anxiety and tension over her trauma?

19) Fuck off, lady. Xiomara basically just conveyed the point I made before about how it’s done and they need to move forward, and this is her response?

Fuck off.

20) Michael’s attempt to make Jane feel like his wife instead of his mom again is sort of cute.

21) As usual, Rogelio continues to be the only beacon of light, brilliant, awesome, superb character in this show.

20) Yep, Jane does her typical research and reaches the same conclusion I reached 10 minutes earlier. Mateo is imitating her mother’s way of dealing with stuff.

21) Thankfully, this leads Jane and Michael to have a very honest talk about how they feel – with Michael admitting that he wants to go back to work and he’s not scared, and Jane confessing she can’t get the image of him lying on the ground. He offers to help her, and that’s sweet and all, but maybe instead of doing research on the computer and asking her husband for help, she should seek professional help. I know. A wild thought, am I right?

22) This was a specially sweet moment for Jane and Rafael as co-parents.

And they ended up loving the hippy school.

23) …which sort of led to Michael breaking down after coming to the realization that he was a victim and that he indeed almost died…

…which, I have to admit, really got to me.

24) You’re damn right, Rogelio!

25) Well, I’m glad she came to her senses by the end of the episode, although I don’t know what her journey to get here was. I’ll take it, anyway.

26)  Apparently, Anezka sleeping with Scott was the best possible decision she could’ve made. He’s promised to give her exactly what she was looking for to blackmail Rafael.

27) Hm…

I’ll believe it when I see it.

28) There were a lot of things that I liked in this episode. I liked seeing Rafael and Jane co-parenting in a healthy way, I liked how Jane and Michael navigated through their shared trauma, I liked Rogelio – as always. I didn’t like Alba’s reaction and then how quickly and inexplicably she overcame it. And to be honest, I’m over the whole Anezka/Magda storyline at this point. I just want to have Petra back. I’m still unsure about this season’s arcs, though. Maybe it’s a bit early to tell. It was a good episode, though.

29) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[themattress]

My Top 50 OUAT Episodes

And now, as a final goodbye to OUAT, I give you this list of my personal picks for the 50 best episodes in the series, listed in order of airing. Two-hour broadcasts are counted as one here.

1. Pilot - 1x01. One of the best TV pilots of recent years due to how quickly it grabs you and emotionally invests you in its magical atmosphere and the plight of its central characters. 

2. The Thing You Love Most - 1x02. Best watched immediately after the pilot, as it deals with the same story but from the dark and twisted perspective of its villain, the Evil Queen.

3. Snow Falls - 1x03. Snow and Charming are, well, charming in their first adventure together and the start of their romance, as is sweet Mary Margaret in the present day.

4. That Still Small Voice - 1x05. Jiminy Cricket of all characters gets a surprisingly dark and emotional backstory that resonates with him in the extremely intense present-day scenario.

5. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - 1x07. Jamie Dornan gives an incredible performance as the tormented Sheriff Graham / Huntsman, all the way to the episode’s tragic conclusion.

6. Desperate Souls - 1x08. We get our first true insight into the backstory of the enigmatic Rumpelstiltskin, and Emma becomes sheriff, making this a truly pivotal episode for the show.

7. Skin Deep - 1x12. A truly subversive, twisted take on the Beauty and the Beast story, with some unexpected layers added to Rumple’s character and Robert Carlyle’s performance. 

8. Red-Handed - 1x15. Little Red Riding Hood IS the Big Bad Wolf. That is awesome.

9. Hat Trick - 1x17. One of the most terrifying, surreal episodes in the entire series, with the great Sebastian Stan knocking it out of the park as the deranged Mad Hatter, Jefferson.

10. The Return - 1x19. We learn why the curse was cast in a devastatingly emotional story that adds more to the characters of Rumple and August as the season enters its final stretch.

11. The Stranger - 1x20. August’s true identity is one of the best reveals in the whole series.

12. An Apple Red As Blood - 1x21. Part 1 of the season finale, as Regina in both the past and present gears up to finish off her nemesis, with the episode ending on a huge shocker.

13. A Land Without Magic - 1x22. Part 2 of the season finale, the best finale the show ever had, and quite possibly my all-time favorite episode. Almost everything about this episode is perfect and gives you the feeling of a story coming to its end as the threads come together.

14. Broken - 2x01. A solid season opener that sets the show on an exciting new course.

15. Lady of the Lake - 2x03. Things really pick up as Team Princess is formed, Cora is established as the new Big Bad, and we get some beautiful moments between Snow and Emma that make it all the more shameful that the show utterly ruins this dynamic later on.

16. The Doctor - 2x05. Dr. Whale is Victor Frankenstein. Did NOT see that coming!

17. Tallahassee - 2x06. The first adventure that “Captain Swan” (Emma and Hook) partake in together, while at the same time we finally learn about Emma’s sad past with her ex-lover.

18. Queen of Hearts - 2x09. A thrilling conclusion to the first arc of Season 2, where we finally learn Cora’s motivations and get an epic fight between the heroes and the villains.

19. Manhattan - 2x14. This episode is a real turning point, with Emma’s ex-lover being revealed as Rumple’s long-lost son, along with several new insights into Rumple’s past. 

20. The Queen Is Dead - 2x15. One of the show’s most emotional episodes, in no small part thanks to Bailee Madison’s truly amazing performance as young Snow in the flashback.

21. The Miller's Daughter - 2x16. We learn about Cora’s fascinating backstory and the true nature of her relationship with Rumple. But then she dies, and the season totally falls apart.

22. Second Star To The Right - 2x21. Finally it feels like shit is getting done, and the concept of a terrifying re-imagining of Peter Pan in the flashback is immediately captivating.

23. And Straight On 'Til Morning - 2x22. The mess Season 2 became gets cleaned up in this gripping finale, with a brilliant new story set-up laid out to be followed in Season 3.

24. The Heart Of The Truest Believer - 3x01. OUAT is truly back at the top of its game here, juggling four different plot threads perfectly and introducing its greatest villain, Peter Pan.

25. Lost Girl - 3x02. The flashback here is meh, but the present day stuff is nigh-perfect.

26. Quite a Common Fairy - 3x03. For the first time, Regina’s potential redemption feels good and genuine, and Rose McIver’s re-imagining of Tinker Bell is a delight from the start.

27. Good Form - 3x05. Hook’s backstory is amazing, and Captain Swan truly begins here.

28. Ariel - 3x06. JoAnna Garcia Swisher makes a truly perfect live-action rendition of Ariel, and the interactions between all the characters in Neverland take a truly engaging turn.

29. Dark Hollow - 3x07. Belle and Ariel, on a mission from Rumpelstiltskin, team up to fight John and Michael Darling who serve the villainous Peter Pan. Only on this show, people!

30. Think Lovely Thoughts - 3x08. The “Nevengers” truly show how far they’ve come working as a group here, and we get one of the show’s most shocking and twisted reveals.

31. Going Home - 3x11. The perfect series finale that isn’t a series finale, with the action increasingly slowing down so that you can fully appreciate the emotions. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if the show had ended right here, I’d have been completely satisfied. 

32. Witch Hunt - 3x13. Just plain fun and funny, with great dialogue and great character interactions that really get you re-adjusted to these characters and to life in Storybrooke.

33. The Jolly Roger - 3x17. Quite possibly the quintessential Hook episode, showing just what kind of a person he was and how he desperately wants to be a better man now.

34. Snow Drifts / There's No Place Like Home - 3x21 / 22. After the incredible letdown that was the climax of the Wicked arc, we get this two-part finale that really embodies the magic OUAT had and never quite will again, with Emma’s character arc coming to a fitting end.

35. The Apprentice - 4x04. “The Dark One lies. The Dark One tricks”. This episode does a perfect job at re-establishing Rumple as a true villain and a schemer to be reckoned with.

36. The Snow Queen - 4x07. Quite possibly the most heartbreaking villain backstory the show has ever had, plus riveting scenes between Elizabeth Mitchell and Jennifer Morrison.

37. Smash the Mirror - 4x08. It’s overlong and the Regina and Robin subplot is complete bullshit, but everything else in both the past and present is golden. The 4A arc peaked here.

38. Shattered Sight - 4x10. The boffo comedy in this episode is cringe-inducing, but all of the serious, emotional stuff centered around the Snow Queen and her family gets me every time.

39. Poor Unfortunate Soul - 4x15. Ursula’s backstory is kind of iffy, but the effect it has on Hook and his development here is really good, as are the villains and August’s return.

40. Sympathy for the De Vil - 4x18. “Evil isn’t born, it’s made”...except in this case, where it is 100% born and takes us on a twisted tale that could pass for a good Twilight Zone episode.

41. The Broken Kingdom - 5x04. The twist of the glorious kingdom of Camelot being a kingdom literally built on sand, and its monarch a disturbed megalomaniac, is a great one. Plus, Snow and Charming actually get do something heroic after a long period of inactivity! 

42. Nimue - 5x07. The actors portraying Merlin and Nimue really sell the doomed epic romance between the two, as we get the most far-back flashback in the show’s entire run.

43. Labor of Love - 5x13. This episode can be summed up as “The Nevengers are back.” That alone counters the disappointment of how blandly Hercules and Megara are portrayed.

44. The Brothers Jones - 5x15. A touching tale of brotherhood, good intentions gone wrong, self-loathing and forgiveness, plus giving Hook closure with his big brother. I just love it.

45. Firebird - 5x20. The flashback is utter tripe, but the escalation in the present-day story, the performances, and Captain Swan’s True Love test makes this episode well worth it.

46. Last Rites - 5x21. Aside from that moment with Robin, this episode is awesome, especially the Underworld scenes with the duo I never knew I wanted: Hook and Arthur.

47. The Other Shoe - 6x03. This episode embodies what the show SHOULD have become: a more light-hearted series with adventures-of-the-day starring Emma, Hook and Henry. 

48. A Wondrous Place - 6x15. Hook sails on Captain Nemo’s sub, the Nautilus, alongside Aladdin and Jasmine, meeting up with Ariel and facing down Jafar. Only on this show, people!

49. The Song in Your Heart - 6x20. Because really, who doesn’t love a Musical Episode? This one centering around Emma and her marriage to Hook makes it all the more special.

50. The Final Battle - 6x21 / 22. It’s got a LOT of problems, but the ending it reaches is truly one that fits the show, and we would have been better off if ABC hadn’t renewed it afterward.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Price of Gold - 1x04. Rumpelstiltskin’s first showcase episode, and he’s terrifying in it.

Dreamy - 1x14. Screw the haters, I really liked this episode! It was hilarious and sweet.

The Crocodile - 2x04. Our introduction to Killian Jones / Captain Hook. It’s a good one, and I’d have liked it better had Rumple’s role in both the past and present not been so disturbing.

Save Henry - 3x09. A tad anti-climactic and the Regina focus was misaimed, but still good.

New York City Serenade - 3x12. A damn fine start to a new beginning for the show.

Rocky Road - 4x03. Elsa and the Snow Queen are both fantastic characters, both shown well here. It’s held back by the introduction of Will Scarlet, who ended up being a waste.

Darkness on the Edge of Town - 4x12. This episode gives us the visual of villains on a road trip stopping at a drive-thru. You just gotta love that! Also, the Chernabog was awesome.

Operation Mongoose - 4x21 / 22. Despite Isaac’s (and by extension, A&E’s) terrible writing, the weird situations and performances from the actors makes this an entertaining finale.

Siege Perilous - 5x03. A good old-fashioned Camelot adventure is just what I wanted. 

The Bear King - 5x09. Again, screw the haters. The show needed more episodes like this, a standalone where the plot takes a pause and the side characters are allowed to develop.

Broken Heart - 5x10. The present-day plot is absolute crap, but the flashback in Camelot is really well executed, and Colin O’Donoghue is clearly having a blast playing Dark Hook.

Souls of the Departed - 5x12. Not ideal for the 100th episode, but a good start to the Underworld arc, with a lot of familiar faces returning and a great new villain introduced. 

Devil's Due - 5x14. Despite her fate in this episode, it’s great to see the writers presenting Milah more sympathetically than she was before, and Hades continues to be a delight.

Our Decay - 5x16. The first episode where Zelena feels truly human instead of the cartoonish psychopath she was before, with her and Hades’ romance being legit touching.

Sisters - 5x19. While I don’t much care for the subplot with Prince James, the main plot featuring the reconciliation between Cora, Regina and Zelena is great and beautifully acted.

Strange Case - 6x04. Oh, Mr. Hyde, you left us way too soon. The episode is sadly weighed down by Rumple’s textbook abuse toward Belle, which we now know is never truly punished. 

Dark Waters - 6x06. A good bonding episode between Hook and Henry, plus a great new character from the Land of Untold Stories who is actually faithful to his source material!

Heartless - 6x07. For once, Lana Parilla actually gives us an old-school Evil Queen performance, where she’s scary and truly malevolent rather than campy and over-the-top.

Mother's Little Helper - 6x16. I really like the Dark Realm, and wish that more was done with it. The reunion between long-time rivals Hook and Blackbeard is also a lot of fun.

The Black Fairy - 6x19. The retcon that Rumple was born a Savior is ridiculous, but the titular Black Fairy’s backstory actually makes her an interesting character for the first time.

A Pirate's Life - 7x02. It was nice to see Emma again, and even better to see that the Hook in this arc is actually Wish!Hook rather than the original, who is still living happily with Emma.

The Girl in the Tower - 7x14. Robin and Alice are beyond precious as a couple in both the past and the present, finally washing away the bad taste left behind by “Ruby Slippers”.

The Guardian - 7x18. It may have been late in coming, but Rumple / Weaver actually becomes interesting here as we get to explore his relationship with his newfound friends.

Homecoming - 7x21. It’s good to see several old characters again, and even better to see all the loose threads from that abominable Season 6 Wish Realm two-parter finally addressed. 

Leaving Storybrooke - 7x22. Except for Rumple’s end, most of what happens following Snow and Charming’s appearance is utter shit. But.....at least the show is finally over!

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x03 recap

(Aka the Patterson and Rich show lol)

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I LOVED this episode. Cute Jeller, supportive team, and of course, PATTERSON AND RICH BEING KICKASS BESTIES. Can the whole season be just like this ep bc good lord it is totally up there with my fave eps of this show ever and ugh I just loved it so much guys

Which in a way is kind of a bad thing because it means this review is gonna take me like 6 hours on account of all the screaming, but ah well. Worth it. 

And to the lovely Anon-- I may very possibly struggle to do these from now on due to my travelling, but I’ll try my best to keep them happening if I can. Thankfully none of the other people in my hostel dorm here in Madrid have minded my hectic late-night typing for the last couple of hours lol...

Anyhow, more gushing below the cut.

Ugh look at this. Our babies are dressed all fancy and having drinks and it’s kinda reminiscent of 1x09 except this time instead of just alluding to their interest in each other, Weller is BLATANTLY HITTING ON JANE, his WIFE, who he is MARRIED TO, and ugh it’s simultaneously delightful and almost nauseating haha. Zapata and Reade definitely agree with the nauseating part, because they’re stuck in the surveillance van being forced to listen to every word. Oh, kids. As the child of two people that love to make jokes about their sex life just to gross me out, I totally understand your pain right now. Lbr tho they probably kind of missed this. And lol I love that Jane giggles and apologises while shooting heart-eyes at Weller. You two are the worst. I actually didn’t expect this scene so early but I’m totally into it. And so Jeller keep an eye on the suspect and his daughter/wife, while Tasha works her hacking skills and hacks his computer. Also awww her cousin asked for Patterson’s autograph, that is so cute and I now love her cousin. I love that Patterson is now super rich and kinda a celeb lol. Hahaha I love that Jane delays the guy by telling him she loves his charity work and then literally like 10 secs later the team is into his files and Weller is arresting him. That would have had to feel kinda like an abrupt turnabout lol

Aww Zapata is checking in on Patterson and making sure she’s okay D: I love these ladies supporting each other. But in what sounds like depressing deja vu of both of the previous seasons, Patterson insists she’s fine to be there. Also her puzzle solving skills clearly haven’t suffered-- she figured out that random specks on Jane’s back could be translated onto a grid and brought together to form words? Dude. Tbh I like that the show gives us a brief explanation of how things were cracked without putting any pressure on us viewers-- we get to just smile and nod and be like ‘yep, sounds legit’ and then move on haha. Now Aunty Hirst has rocked up to hear the deets, considering their suspect is a big fish. And basically there’s some evidence that he caused a train to derail which was previously called in as an anonymous tip, and which made him super rich due to something to do with stocks. Can you tell I have very little understanding of the stock market lol, which tbh is kinda unfortunate considering my father keeps wanting me to invest haha.

Oooh Patterson goes to Reade bc she’s been investigating Stuart’s murder on her own despite there already being a team on it, and she tells him that Stuart had a Siri/google home/Alexa equivalent thing and that she thinks the thing recorded his murder, since they’re sneakily recording everything. Makes you worry about Siri and Alexa, doesn’t it… Anyway she wants Reade to go demand the recording from the company before it’s deleted within 72hrs. Go Reade go! Meanwhile Patterson goes to talk to their suspect’s lawyer, and walks in to find her playing Wizardville. I love that she knows exactly which part she’s at just by hearing the sound effects. Ugh you giant nerd I love you so much. When Jeller show up a minute later (maybe held up in the locker room because of… activities…) lawyer lady insists that the emails are planted by a hacker group who is targeting her client. Lol “Mr Lowie can afford better specialists than the FBI has. No offense”/”Offense taken”. Damn right, Patterson, none of those specialists could hold a candle to you. But uh oh, the lawyer mentioned the hacker group-- the three blind mice-- and Patterson suddenly got all shifty. What do you know that you’re not telling, honey???  Also the lawyer lady is threatening them with a very large lawsuit which is bound to make all of this a little awkward….

RIIIICHHH. God I will never get over the delight of seeing him appear in an episode. Patterson visits him in his office, which is literally just a room for cleaning supplies, and she turns on a radio jammer which has him spitting coffee (if that is coffee) out of his ‘best daddy ever’ mug. So either he stole the mug from Weller or someone, or it’s alluding to a weird sex thing. You never know with Rich. (Yes you do; it’s usually the weird sex thing). Ugh and when she demands to know if he hacked into the suspect’s server he’s all “What?? No?? Who??” and god I just love his FACE. Ennis how do you do this??? God. And then ugh he promises her he’s not lying and ugh I believe it. And then she tells him the tatt points to the 3BM and that the FBI are gonna try to track them down and ugh you can see the ‘oh shit’ on his face. I just love the way these two interact, like they’re legit real friends?? Ugh my babies. I adore Jeller and all, but tbh this is my favourite duo on the show rn. And now Weller wants to see them both and they’re both like ‘oh shit’ lol. And then lol he totally ignores ‘ladies first’ and calls Weller mademoiselle and you can hear that he’s nervous and aaahhhh his joke about the 3 blind mice from the nursery rhyme and then insisting he’s a crime fighter now and I just love him so muuuchhhh and this whole time he and Patterson are both half shitting themselves and ugh I feel like he’s using his ridiculousness to keep attention on him and not Patterson bc she doesn’t like lying to her team and ughhhh they’re such broooos. And Hirst appears to tell them all that they need to catch the 3BM asap because the emails were planted and their dude might sue, and to which Rich suggests a simple ‘I was wrong’ to patch things up lollll. And then Hirst has a picture of the 3BM and Patterson and Rich are all !!!!!!!!! and then it turns out it’s a person in a mouse mask and they’re so relieved lol. Also dude after Patterson, i love Rich’s dynamic with Jane the most. She’s basically like his long-suffering mom hahaha. Back in the closet, Patterson’s freaking out and wants to come clean but he’s all ‘how about no’ lol. Also he says that they dropped out because ‘someone thought it was getting too dangerous’ and he points to her but then jabs his thumb toward himself as he’s speaking and now I’m confused?? Which one wanted to bail?? (Probably Patterson lbr). Ughhhh by the sound of it they were such little Robin Hoods, and ugh I NEED the spinoff about this whole partnership over the last 2 years ughhhhhhh. And hahaha omg “so we make it a little harder for them, if you catch my drift”/”by obstructing justice??”/”drift caught.” UGHHHHH GIVE ME THE SPINOFF. GIVE IT TO ME. I will sell my soul for this I stg.

Meanwhile awww Reade is honouring Patterson’s request and talking to a representative from the kinga company about the recordings, and when she tries to deny it he and Zapata totally roll their eyes at each other haha. These bros. And then she’s texting his gf which feels a little weird, and also she says they hung out ‘last weekend’ but uh wasn’t stuart’s murder less than 72hr ago, and so all the events of last ep including Zapata meeting the gf happened then as well (that did happen in 3x02 right?)? Maybe that was friday and this is monday and she meant to say ‘on the weekend’?  Also “You better put a ring on that before I do” LOL I love it. I’m sure it’s just a joking comment but dude could Zapata be bi? Because I would totally be down for that. I like Zapata being friends with Reade’s gf and encouraging them as a couple, since I want Reade and Zapata to remain just bros. I seriously miss Reade/Sarah though. Lbr I’m still totally bitter about that one, Gero.

Patterson found the person in the mouse mask by creating a ‘biometric map’ of the person from the video and using ‘gait recognition’?? Mmmmmkay, sure, I’ll roll with it. Nice little mention of Patterson’s NSA access, though. The woman they find has a bunch of dating profiles and works for Nerd Herd (awww a Chuck reference, I’m so happy) which makes Rich pity her, but uh dude don’t you know she was Miss United States?? And she’s besties with Sandra Bullock, so she’s doing just fine. And ugh when Rich says that they tracked her location, Jane actually praises him and ughhhh look at that parental approval he’s getting, I’m so happy for him. And then haha Hirst wants both Patterson and Rich in on the interrogation and ugh you can just see my poor Patterson getting more and more tightly wound lol can someone just give her a hug before she explodes? Preferably Rich giving her a slightly stilted but genuinely sincere hug. I want it. Nope, need it. Also looks like Jeller now have nothing on their schedule…. time for another locker room rendezvous perhaps?

Lollll their suspect has said like two lines and all I hear is Miss Rhode Island… also she looks so cute in her lil Nerd Herd outfit. I wonder if she ever met Chuck? I mean she’s based on the other side of the country, but still… what if she trained under him over in Burbank before moving to NYC? Anyhow she gushes about how famous the 3BM are and both Rich and Patterson are looking SO UNCOMFORTABLE in their own ways and I’m loving it. Also ugh Hirst’s soft southern accent is so soothing. Could she narrate audiobooks or something bc I would legit buy all of them. Although rn she’s describing bad stuff that the 3BM did and that doesn’t feel right, but then Kathy decides the jig is up and explains how each of those things was actually them helping people/semi-saving the world. Also man this actress is amazing in how she can sound simultaneously kinda deranged but also kinda sweet?? I just want to protect her and her adorable lil face haha. Lol at Rich and Patterson exchanging looks across the room the whole time she’s talking. Subtle, guys. And Rich’s face when she says that the three of them are still best friends?? Maybe he’s starting to think Patterson was right to have made them both cut ties with this wacko. But duuuude why are you so vain, you literally just let her goad you into revealing yourself as one of her former partners. But still, “Oh so by ‘pretty close’, do you mean 100% correct, or?” ughhhh I love the sass. And then  Kathy mentions people being in danger and it draws Patterson over, putting all three of the blind mice at the same table for the first time in a year.... And also ever, when you think about it. Also turns out that the wealthy guy might be planning to blow something up to earn money from stocks like he did last time or something, which prompts Patterson to admit to Rich that she has backdoor access into every phone that downloaded her app. Firstly, wow, glad that power is in the hands of one of the good guys. Secondly, that’s a huge show of trust to tell him that, knowing that he could then steal her phone or something and use the access for his own gain. Ugh these bros!! Lol I do love that he gets carried away with thoughts of Hirst’s browser history tho haha. But anyhow by hacking the lawyer’s phone she figured out where the attack was planned to happen, and aawwwww Rich immediately wants to head to tell the team and Patterson is the one holding back. Also LOL: “Hey Gary.” “His name’s Gary? I’ve been calling him Rick…” ugh how is his every line just SO GOOD? I love the thought that he talks to their coworkers as well, probably talks the ear off of anyone who happens to come near him lol. Ugh my baby just wants to be loveddddd. I love the bickering-siblings thing they’ve got going on though, and “Well now who’s obstructing justice??” ahhahaha. Seriously who do I have to bribe to get the show with just these two? And then when she suddenly decides that they need to come clean, he’s all ‘woah no no, gross’ lollll. And then he has a little lightbulb moment about how to solve their problem-- a ridiculous and very conveniently timed anonymous tip lol. Well, tbh the team never really cares HOW Patterson managed to get their intel, only that she gives them stuff they can use/excuses to go beat people up. Aww but Weller trusts his lil team and acts immediately on their intel, prepared to take the fall for it if it turns out to be a dud. He’s very martyr-ish lately, I feel-- but I guess maybe he just feels invincible now that his wifey is back in his lifey?

Turns out the ‘tip’ is legit, and Jeller find our baddies, proceeding to beat the hell out of them in true Jeller fashion. There’s also a bomb, because of course there is, and Rich makes a suggestion only to be smacked down by Patterson and is properly apologetic haha. Jane then actually takes his advice, using the sped-up clock to convince the baddie to disarm the bomb, then takes him out and shoots the guy grappling with Weller by firing through a bottle of oil or something. Nice. She really is a woman of endless talents, a fact that Weller very much benefits from, both in the field and… elsewhere haha. Also Sully’s accent has dropped at least twice in this ep already, someone must be tired lol. Anyway back at the office, Aunty Hirst drops by to tell them all how proud she is. Also I want to marry the way she says ‘Lowie’. It’s just so damn cute. She then tells everyone to go home, and Rich and Patterson have a quiet little celebratory fist-bump (which they have clearly done before AAAHHHHHHH) over the 3BM investigation appearing to be closed. God they’re the cutest.

Oh yeah, forgot about Reade and Zapata for a minute there, too distracted by the other show-stealing partnership haha. They’re putting heavy pressure on the boss lady at Kinga, and I love that she calls him ‘sir’ and that he’s so firm and authoritative with her. This seems more like a true AD of the FBI! And you know Zapata’s pretty impressed too haha.  Well done, Reade.

Loll Patterson and Rich meeting in a deserted parking lot and Rich stepping in a puddle and then both of them realising that neither of them actually sent the message that they received. Tbh I just love that each of them got a message from the other telling them to come to a random parking lot in the middle of the night and they both came?? Without question?? Ugghhhhhhh have I mentioned lately that I love them. Also what’s Rich’s sitch at the safe house? Does he have a team watching him that he had to evade to get here, or? And lol she calls him dumbwad and everything is so cute and fun and then RICH GETS SHOT IN THE CHEST. Ngl, I gasped far louder in this moment than I even knew I was capable of. There was a split second of sheer, unadulterated panic before I remembered he’s going to be returning for multiple eps throughout the season and therefore has to be okay. But good lord that one second was an awful experience. I swear to god, if they do ever kill Rich then I’m out. I will walk away from this show, Gero, don’t think I won’t! And ugh the shock and horror on Patterson’s face-- for all he drives her crazy, he’s literally one of her best friends, and she’s already lost enough people around her. And then Kathy appears and even though she assures them (and us) that they’re just beanbag rounds, it’s still freaky as hell to see her shooting them both with a shotgun at point-blank range. My poor babies… Aaaand then they wake in a Saw-esque setting and ugh he pokes her so gently to wake her and they’re so cute when they’re kidnapped. Sounds like it’s a semi-regular occurrence for Rich, whose main concern is that he doesn’t get to be kidnapped anywhere fun lol. Aw, is someone using humour to make their friend feel less scared?  “And not the good kind of dungeon” haha. And then he goes for the door and she tries to stop him but too late, he gets zapped by a shock collar and lol my poor baby. “Oh my god, she’s gonna make us play the hunger games, isn’t she??” Which tbh would be pretty interesting between these two. I’m tempted to bet on Patterson as the winner, but then again, the first time we met Rich he did shoot a guy in the chest and was going to have Jeller killed as well, so tbh I think he shouldn’t be underestimated. But ugh it’s so cute that Patterson is desperately trying to get his collar off rather than her own, and then suddenly heeeeeeeere’s Kathy! Who is holding the collar remote threateningly in one hand while sweetly offering them snacks at the same time lol. Sh figured out it was them because of Rich showing off in interrogation and Patterson saying ‘opposite, opposite’ which I did think was a bit of a weird phrase to use lol. And ahhh Patterson calls him Rich and Kathy suddenly goes into Rich DotCom fangirl mode, and tbh I feel you on that one, sister. I would react the same. But now she’s ranting about them being brainwashed by the feds (lol at Rich telling Patterson that she did just sound like weller, awwww) and that she’s ‘saving’ them haha. Then suddenly she whips out a to-do list of hack-tivities, but instead of Robin Hood stuff, it’s more Sherriff of Nottingham stuff this time. Their arguments don’t work, which means it’s hack or zap….

Weller texts Patterson about dinner; everyone’s gathered at his and Jane’s place having drinks and hanging out and ugh they’re all so cute. And Jeller are so casually touchy and he calls her ‘my love’ and I’m seriously caught between finding that corny and super cute. Maybe both. Zapata’s playing Wizardville, which apparently Jane does too, and then they realise Reade must as well and lol Zapata’s innocent little ‘Reade?’ is so CUTE. Weller’s all “You too??” and yeppp, Sully has apparently forgotten what an American accent is haha. Oh well. I love that he goes and snuggles with Jane on the couch (aaawwwww) as they watch Zapata and Reade bicker like it’s a spectator sport hahaha. I love the sassiness omg.

Meanwhile Rich is perfecting his mime-in-a-box routine as he tries to figure out any gaps in their electric prison, and tbh that’s actually pretty brave? He probably got zapped at least a few times doing that. Patterson is trying to figure out how to get word back to the team, but Rich tells her that the only way they’ll get out of this is to go along with Kathy’s plan, because he has ‘a lot of experience with psychotic women who desire him sexually’ and lol at the disgust and annoyance on Patterson’s face and her “What is your point.” Yep, those are siblings right there.

The team are still being cute when Weller gets an email from Patterson saying she’s having dinner with Rich instead, but Zapata notices that it’s signed with her first name, WHICH NONE OF THEM ACTUALLY MENTION. TELL US THE DAMN NAME, YOU JERKS. So I guess that means that Patterson sneakily sent an email when Kathy wasn’t looking? I think that’s what they’re getting at, rather than Kathy covering her tracks by sending that to Weller so he won’t be concerned when Patterson doesn’t show up for dinner. I feel like Patterson totally has the skills to pull that off right under someone’s nose...

Back in the dungeon, the dynamic duo have picked some of the less harmful hacks to start with, including revealing some politician guy as a sex fiend (no surprises there), and Kathy gushes that watching them hack is like watching Picasso paint the Mona Lisa and lolll you can see Rich’s eyes narrow and he really wants to correct her but Patterson is already telling her to let them go, but nope Kathy wants them to crash Lowie’s private jet now, and wow she really seems to have it in for this guy. Also is it even possible to remotely crash a plane? But ohhhhhh crap, Kathy’s brother died in the train crash that Lowie caused. Well, that explains that. She tried to hand them the evidence to put him away, but now she’s taking matters into her own (or the 3 Blind Mice’s) hands. And Rich kinda seems to side with her a little bit after this revelation, causing Patterson to shoot him a look of betrayal and Kathy to beam at him. Oh man I really hope this is a ploy. Ugh Patterson is basically pleading with him not to help Kathy, to stay on their team, the good guy team, and then Kathy zaps her and ugh he’s immediately on his feet but knows he can’t do anything. He has to roll with this if he’s to save either of them and ugh I love himmmmm???

The team is at the office, trying to track down their missing buddies. Again Zapata is the one to see the clue-- the IP address the email came from is in antarctica, just like Kathy’s earlier hacks. They discover Kathy got out on bail, and then that both Patterson and Rich’s cars were found in Brooklyn. I love that they all practically run for the exit. I wonder if they’re remembering the last time Patterson was kidnapped, aka the only unlikable episode of season one?? Better hurry team, go save them! And lol conveniently they find out every place she’s ever worked and one of those happens to be an old zoo, and therefore a nice private place to keep prisoners. How lucky for them….

Poor Patterson is bound and gagged and tries to cry “Rich, no!” as he successfully hacks the jet and sets it on its collision course with the ocean.  Or its fake collision course, I hope. And ugh then he and Kathy are dining together and okay why does she respond ‘kinda’ when he asks if it’s foie gras? Is she pulling a Hannibal Lecter rn??? Also I love the little red glow of the collar through his napkin lol. And then there’s a perimeter breach and Kathy is starting to freak out and so checks on the plane, only to see that it landed safely and Patterson looks at Rich in shock and HE WINKS AT HER. Look at my baby all grown up and fighting on the side of good with his lil FBI family who he lovessssss. Ughhh save me. And then omg she flips out and literally smashes the wine bottle over his head and I gasped super loud again bc do you know how hard those things are???? Ugh both Patterson and I are so worried for our bestie Rich, but meanwhile Kathy hacks the team’s car and tries to crash them?? I love their super synchronized dives out of the car lol. And then omg she literally sets everything on fire while crying over their ruined friendship hahahaha. Tbh I’d be pretty devastated if Patterson and Rich didn’t want to be friends with me too lol…. And then omgggg she is literally about to shoot Rich and Patterson tackles her, saving his life and causing herself to be electrocuted. THAT IS FAMILY RIGHT THERE. I hope Rich someday acknowledges what she did for him just then, bc ugh it was everythinggggg. Thankfully the team is there and Reade is clever enough to order Jane to find a fusebox. I love the tasks each of the team takes-- Jane cuts the power, saving Patterson, Reade arrests Kathy, Weller helps Patterson up and is checking her over all concerned, and Zapata FLICKS RICH until he comes around hahahaha. “He’s fine” lol. I love that she’s all blase about it but they would have been genuinely upset if he was seriously injured. Pretend all you like, I know you care!!

Back at base, the rest of the team calls Rich and Patterson into the conference room to tell them that Hirst wants the other mice caught, but Kathy is refusing to give up names (‘she’s a mouse, not a rat’ hahahaha), and when Reade asks why she kidnapped them, Patterson answers that she was a huge Rich DotCom fangirl, which is technically a true statement. Rich says he didn’t know that was even a thing, which is a completely untrue statement haha. And then Reade says how lucky it is that there’s no evidence whatsoever to point to who the other two are because if he knew who they were he would have to prosecute them and ugh the team has clearly agreed that this is a ‘what happens in the team stays in the team’ situation and then even literally discuss how these tattoos are about them as a group, that Roman wants to expose their secrets specifically. But they have no idea why. (Punishing Jane, no?)

Naw look at this domestic Jeller. Jane is cooking her implausible vegan lasagne, and then Kurt tells her he loves her like ten times, which is super cute but still in an Australian accent!! Sully, c’mon, lol. But ugh he runs to the shower and wants her to join and lord I do love me some established relationship… but then of course lil bro has to call and cockblock, and ugh poor Jane is so upset about how things are between them but he’s all ‘grrrrrr must punish you for making me sad grrrrrrr’ and sigh I look forward to a little bit of character growth on his part lol

Oooh Patterson calls Reade and Zapata in to the lab to listen to the Kinga recording that they got, and finds out that it's been doctored, meaning someone is hiding something. And also, through magical genius means, she figured out the tattoo that Stuart was working on relates to Van Gogh’s famous self portrait. Which is super confusing until the next scene where an ominous man threatens the Kinga CEO never to talk about doctoring the recordings, and turns away, revealing… DUN DUN DUN….. he’s missing an ear. Ooooooooohhhhh intrigue. Who is Creepy Van Gogh and what does he want with the team????