#the classics we were made to read were either boring or made you want to kill someone

[anim-ttrpgs]

I want to provide an example of a dungeon crawl for the people who have only been exposed to dungeon crawling through shitty D&D5e modules or bad games of telephone about what classic dungeon crawling looks like.

I’m gonna try not to go into too much detail just because if I do, I’ll be here all day and night because this campaign is so good and all of the characters have so much depth but I still have to give context. (welp, i made it pretty fucking long anyway, but I think it paints a clearer picture that way.)

This is an mildly homebrewed* AD&D2e “troupe campaign” with rotating DMs starring a fictional band of mercenaries called the White Company(not to be confused with the actual White Company or the other fictional White Company) in an alternate history 1390s-1430s England with elves and wizards and shit. I’m really getting to put my Masters in medieval history and culture to good use for once. There’s a rotating cast of characters, as parties are formed from the larger pool of characters in the White Company to undertake mercenary jobs.

*one of the biggest homebrew rules we use is that there is no magical resurrection. Instead of dying instantly with the expectation that they can be magically revived later, characters who fall to 0 HP must receive medical attention from somebody who has the Healing skill immediately, and make a Constitution-based roll to see if they can pull through. If they don’t die, they still permanently lose 1 point of Constitution and must spend weeks or months recovering before they can fight again.

This is happening in a real 1979 D&D adventure module, adapted slightly to fit our setting, but it’s still genuine classic dungeon crawling. The DM is sticking closely to it and just presenting the sandbox for the PCs to do stuff in.

TL;DR: (also spoilers. Skip the TL;DR if you want to read this as a narrative without knowing what happens)

A classic dungeon crawl is not just a dull slog through a bunch of rooms full of monsters and back-to-back boring slap-fight combat. One may encounter:

>yes, monsters, definitely. Some will be out in the open, some will ambush the party, and some will be easy to ambush by the party, but rarely is fighting and killing them the only option. Combat happens either when the party screws up, or when they initiate it on their own terms.

>other adventurers looting the same dungeon

>hidden treasure

>monsters that are basically a trap and puzzle themselves and can’t be fought by just making attack rolls at them

>monsters that can be talked to and negotiated with

>environmental storytelling that can also be hints about hidden traps, monsters, etc.

>boobytraps

>secret doors

>plenty of moments for the characters' personalities to shine

(END OF SPOILERS)

The White Company is currently under the employ of a certain castillan who is having to fight against a pretender to his claims to his lands. The lord that this castellan owes fielty has noticed that a certain village has stopped paying their taxes, and asked the castellan to deal with it. The castellan told the White Company, currently on his payroll, and the White Company sent a small group of mercenaries to either investigate or rough the peasants up until they pay. (Medieval mercenaries nor classic D&D adventurers were exactly heroes. Members of the White Company have engaged in some real moving acts of heroism in this campaign but that’s a different story.)

The White Company party consisted of 8 PCs, because AD&D expects bigass parties. We‘ve had parties of up to 13 PCs before in this campaign, because this is before D&D got embarrassed about its wargaming ancestry. This might sound scary but honestly AD&D2e does not make it hard for a player to play multiple characters at once. It’s expected.

Anyway, they passed a ransacked wagon on the road while traveling to the village. When they got to the village, everything was just fine, no great plumes of smoke or burninated peasants. So they asked the village headman what the deal was, and he was like “What do you mean? We sent the taxes last week.”

Well, that was the ransacked wagon. Here I’m going to start really fast-forwarding.

The White Company mercs did some investigating and found out who sacked the wagon, kicked their asses and ran them off, and discovered just the slightest hint that there was more to this story..

More investigation, a discovery that there’s a greater conspiracy afoot, a fight with two spies that left Elora the Elf bedridden under the care of the local barber-surgeon after getting stabbed in the gut(one party member down.)

Fast-forwarding more. They discover that the old abandoned fort that’s full of monsters is actually where a contingent of the bad guys have made their forward operating base. This abandoned castle is supposedly full of monsters ever since the calamity that made everything full of monsters but that’s another story too. God I’m bad at brief stories. Anyway the bad guys have some tricks for avoiding the monsters on their way in and out apparently.

So, it’s time for the White Company to assault that abandoned castle. That’s a dungeon, and now it’s dungeon crawling time. Using a huge amount of money they found during the investigation, they subcontract some more mercenaries, a party from the Badger Company, and also convince the village headman to levy some peasant militiamen.

Now the party is 24-strong, almost half of that being archers.

I’m fast-forwarding some more. They had a little.. incident where they ran into a group of adventurers trying to loot the place, mistook them for the bad guys, and shot two of them with crossbow bolts. Luckily, and due to the medical skills of some of the party, those two survived, but one of them will be on crutches for a while. After that embarrassing misunderstanding, they find the way down into the lower floors of the castle, but before they go, they want to make sure there’s no chance of anything coming behind them, so they investigate every room on the upper floor. Ordinarily, going around provoking everything in a dungeon and having back-to-back combat encounters would be inadvisable, but they’re 24 men strong. They find a room full of giant rats and shoot them to death with crossbow bolts. They find a giant lizard thing asleep on a rock and shoot it to death with crossbow bolts. They find a giant snake in its nest and shoot it to death with crossbow bolts. Then a giant tick drops from the ceiling and bites into Abigail, the youngest White Company member present, right through her mail armor. They stab it to death but its sucker thing is buried deep in there and they can’t just pull it out because it’s got barbs. She was at very low HP after the initial bite and just ripping the thing out could easily nick the artery and kill her. Luckily, Herr Rike(Fighter-Thief) and all around unpleasant woman, is also a barber-surgeon, and several of the spellcasters can provide a limited amount of magical healing. She had to strip down while the men averted their eyes and stood watch. While Abigail, teary-eyed, bit down on the shaft of a crossbow bolt, Rike was able to carefully cut the thing out of her, with magical healing coming right after to ensure that this doesn’t, well, completely disable the use of her arm. After a few moments of recovery (accelerated by the magic), Abigail got dressed again, and soon had the gruff men of the Badger Company clapping her on the back and congratulating her for making it through that. “We’ve all been there!” “Yer a real mercenary now!” “That’ll put some hair on yer chest, figuratively!”

(I’m making sure to include all this stuff in detail to dispel the myth that “dungeon crawling means no roleplaying.” That part kinda was “back-to-back combat” but only because the party went out of their way to find every monster, all of which could’ve been avoided otherwise.)

Each of these encounters lasted like 1 combat round and less than 15 minutes of real time even with that many characters, because AD&D2e combat doesn’t fucking suck.

There was some treasure to find too, pretty valuable stuff, but for the sake of this not being even more overly long the only thing I’m going to mention is a large jug of lamp oil.

Descending the stairs, a man and woman of the Badger Company were suddenly dropped down on by two acidic green slimes. The party quickly discovered that these could not be conventionally attacked, especially not while they’re clinging to the distressed Badger Company members. Slicing and stabbing the slimes with swords does nothing obviously, and risks further injuring their allies.

Thinking quickly, Abigail has the idea to try scraping and shoveling the slime off with her shield, which kind of works, and everyone with a shield follows suit. The slimed Badger Company mercs survive, managing to avoid total disfigurement too, but are in no condition to continue. Their armor and helmets and weapons have been ruined by the acid and they’ve lost a lot of skin. Everyone whose shield was used to shovel off the slime also lost their shields as the acid ruined them.

The man and woman that got slimed had to go up stairs and wait for the return of the larger group, it was a really good thing that the party checked every corner of the upper floor and killed anything that could be a danger to two unarmed and critically wounded people. Herr Rike was the one who told them to go upstairs as she poured water over their wounds, washing away acid and chunks of melted skin, and, sarcastically in her horrible voice, said that everyone would vouch for the woman’s virginity.* Herr Rike’s voice “sounds like a saw.”

*In the Middle Ages, an unmarried woman’s virginity was pretty important to her societal respect, and if she was left alone with a lone man for too long, someone may call her virginity into question. Of course the joke here is that everyone knows that no matter what, they aren’t going to get it on while bits of their skin are still sliding off. None of the Badger Company thought it was very funny.

With the slimes pooled on the ground, they were hardly a threat, they’re super slow and you could just sorta step around them, but they still needed to be dealt with to not become a problem later. Herr Rike went back upstairs and got that jug of lamp oil and poured it on and around the slimes and lit them on fire. That killed them.

So now the party is down two fighters and nearly all of their shields.

It’s dark down here obviously, and several people are carrying torches. Going is a bit slower in the poor lighting. Herr Rike makes a Detect Noise* check. She hears something like faint grinding of stone to the east. This huge band of armed and armored men coming into the castle has definitely made a ton of noise, so Rike’s impression of this sound is that the bad guys have heard them coming, and hid behind some kind of secret door in the stone walls. She tells everyone to keep a look out for any weird cracks in the walls.

*AD&D2e doesn’t have Perception like D&D5e. If it’s in front of them they can see it, if it’s making noise they can hear it, if it stinks they can smell it, etc. However, characters of the Thief class can make a skill check to listen closely for the chance to hear extremely faint sounds that wouldn’t normally be audible.

They check a few yards to the west first, finding two sturdy doors with fine, brand new inset locks on them. Rike tries, but fails to get through these in any way, so they move on to the south and find a long hallway full of cell doors. In the cells are months-old rotten corpses with visible wounds in most of them. It doesn’t look like the starved to death. The stench is almost overwhelming so they turn back and go north to the last door.

To the north they go through a room filled with, like, garbage. Dirt, broken bits of wooden furniture, rotten animal hides, and even what might be feces. Everyone is checking the ceilings carefully now too after the tick and the slimes, and this ceiling looks like it’s on its way to caving in, but not any immediate danger. They go to a door on the far end of the garbage room and open it. All the while, Herr Rike is checking for traps both passively* and actively. There don’t seem to be any traps, but the stench of the next room still hits them like a wall and makes Abigail and some of the others gag. It smells like “unwashed flesh,” in modern terms, it smells like a Magic: The Gathering tournament in there. Rike is unphased, and hisses out into the darkness “Come out, I can smell you.”

*Like I said before about perception, the main way to check for traps is just the player asking the DM “does my character see any weird stones on the floor ahead? Can he see a tripwire behind the door? When he opens the door, can he nudge it open with his sword while standing to the side in case anything shoots out?” and so on, but Thieves can also make skill checks to passively notice them on top of that.

After a few seconds, there’s a loud, low growl from the far corner. “I can smell you too..”

An enormous, grotesque figure steps into the edge of the torchlight. He’s easily nine feet tall and looks like if you took an already large man and stretched him out in all the wrong ways. He’s wearing a loincloth and a huge cape of animal hide, and carrying a full sized halberd that he’s big enough to use as a one-handed weapon. He scrapes it along the ground menacingly, making a horrible sound, but not the same sound that Rike heard earlier with her Detect Noise ability.

Rike doesn’t back away, but holds her crossbow casually in the crook of her arm. They’re about 10 feet from each other. She says in her hoarse, raspy whisper. “So, you can talk. Do you have a name?”

The hulking monster growls his answer. “Lubash. Do you?” He sounds almost as bad as Rike.

“Yes.”

“Hmph. Rude not to answer..” he grunts in annoyance.

“What are you doing down here, Lubash?”

“I guard this place for the people here. Eat people who come in.” He grins, showing jagged and pointy teeth. “Great gig.”

“Congratulations. Do you know who you work for, Lubash?”

“Do you?”

“No, we’re here to find that out.”

“Good luck...” He grins again.

“Thank you, Lubash. Are you going to get in our way?”

Lubash Points his halberd towards the doorway where Rike stands, looking behind her at the dozens of armored men carrying swords, polearms, and crossbows. “No. I go out there, I die. You come in here, you die.”

“We can agree to those terms. Where do that door behind you lead?”

“That’s my pantry.”

Rike nods. She’s not 100% sure that she believes him, but there’s no dice roll for that in AD&D2e, so it’s up to logic and the DM’s description of Lubash’s body language. She decides that even if he is lying, that she would rather not press him and get in the way of that halberd until she has exhausted all her other options. “One more thing, Lubash. Do you know your bosses are holding out on you?”

“How?”

“There’s a dozen corpses in the cells down the hall. They aren’t letting you eat those?”

“No, those aren’t mine, here before I got here. Nasty, rotten.”

Rike attempted to weaken Lubash’s trust with his bosses, but seemingly to no avail. She said goodbye to Lubash and closed the door, then she sprinkled more of the lamp oil all around the floor and flammable objects of the garbage room, and left the other door to the garbage room just slightly open, propping the jug up on top of it, so that if Lubash tries to follow them, he’ll get a nasty splash and then go up on flames at a brush with one of their torches. Plus, the shattering of the jar would alert them.

Now despite the smell, the path of least resistance was south, past the wall of cells with dead bodies in them.

Rike moved forward, noticing nothing out of the ordinary except a greater amount of dust in the mostly empty room further down compared to the rest of the place so far, as if no one had been down there in a long time. It wasn’t exactly *obvious* in hindsight, but she should have known better still. As she stepped into the room down the hall, there was a faint flash of light as she seemingly crossed some kind of invisible line, a magical trap! Someone with more knowledge of magic might have been able to see more of the signs if they were in front, but it was already too late. There was a shuffling sound from the cells as all twelve of the corpses rose to their feet. Most mercenaries immediately realized what was happening, and everyone quickly readied their weapons, falling into formation shoulder-to-shoulder with the archers and spellcasters in back, and three men in reserve watching the doorway with the jug in case Lubash decided to try and make a move for them while they were preoccupied. The line was close to the cell doors, with gaps where every other man stood a few feet back, creating mini chokepoints and kill zones at each door where each one corpse would trickle through and have to fight alone against three mercenaries rather than meeting them all at once. Ceridwen, a druid spellcaster, cast a spell, Fairy Fire, which highlighted the first row of walking corpses in the dark, giving the party a bonus to attack rolls against them.

The dozen walking corpses stood and shambled forward slowly enough that the mercenaries got 2 rounds to act before they were upon them. They shot a volley of crossbow bolts and arrows. The projectiles sunk deep into rotten eye sockets, chests, and shoulders, but at best it just made some of them stumble. Another volley. Even more hit this time, with a couple of criticals for what should’ve been massive damage, but the undead just kept walking forward until they reached the line of spears and swords. In mechanical terms it seemed that they took reduced or possibly even zero damage from piercing attacks like crossbow bolts.

Both players and characters started to get pretty nervous as we started rolling for all these melee attacks and it started to seem like despite stabbing big holes in them with spears and slicing off hands and arms with swords, the undead just didn’t stop. It was the last melee attack of the mercenaries’ round that finally “killed” one. One of the mercenaries using a quarterstaff managed to crush one’s head against the stone wall and it finally stopped moving. Seeing this, those that had them, which was quite few, switched weapons to clubs, thinking that the only way might be to bash them with bludgeoning damage. After another round, another corpse was “killed” with a sword, but it’s still possible that they only take half-damage from slashing weapons. Chrysanthemum, another White Company fighter, brought her weighted grain flail down on another corpse, shattering its skull with such force that flecks of bone sprinkled everyone around. She let out a girlish squeal of disgust.

Piercing weapons were definitely a no-go after one of the corpses just kept walking down the shaft of a spear after being impaled, and grabbed the spearman’s neck, pulling at it until it ripped a small hole in the front, dropping the man into a pool of blood. Another woman was hit so had in the head by one of the corpses unnaturally strong blows that she would’ve surely died if not wearing a helmet. She could still stand, but had to swap out, an archer from the back drawing his sword and stepping in to take her place. One of the other militiamen grabbed the bleeding man and hoisted him backwards out from under the feet of the melee, where Ceridwen quickly got down on her knees to bandage the wound, even though it seemed futile. For his trouble, as his attention was momentarily averted, the militiaman who pulled him back was lunged upon and grabbed into a bear hug by another corpse. He could hardly yell as three ribs cracked in quick succession.

Rike beat that one’s skull in with her baton until it loosened its grip, but she and Abigail still had to pry its arms off before the critically wounded man could be dragged off the front line. With was another round of chopping and beating the remaining corpses down before the coast seemed clear.

The whole combat sequence lasted maybe 6 rounds, and took about 45 minutes of real time, even with over 30 combatants total to make rolls for. It was a nail biter, and would’ve been much worse if the mercenaries hadn’t made such good use of positioning and formation.

Rike quickly went to see to the wounded with Ceridwen. Putting her ear to the crushed man’s chest, she could tell that he hadn’t punctured a lung, but it would still be best to move him as little as possible. She then set to helping Ceridwen carefully clean and bandage the other man’s neck wound. She tended to him last because, having seen the wound happen, she knew that if he hadn’t bled out of suffocated before she got to him, that would be the only indication that he could be saved.

It might as well have been a miracle. The wound exposed part of his trachea, but just missed the jugular and carotid. As long as it was kept clean and bandaged, he had a chance to live. The men cheered and praised God as loudly as they dared to in this place.

As Rike stood up from him, she commanded four of the men to make a stretcher out of an old tent and carefully carry the crushed man upstairs. She jerked her head to the side to indicate the bleeding man, the motion just for an instant shifting her mail gorget and helmet’s visor enough to expose the rough, pale scar tissue across her own throat, speaking in her raspy whisper of a voice. “He can walk.”

The party regrouped after taking the wounded men upstairs. (Again, really really good thing they made the call to hunt down and kill everything on the upper floor.) This hallway was the furthest east they had been, but it seemed to be a dead end. Rike and Ceridwen set to work looking for that secret door. It took about half an hour of searching (in game time, like 1 minute of describing their actions in real time) before Ceridwen found something. She pulled it, and a wall nearby slowly slid down, exposing a narrow passageway.

The funny thing was, the sound of that secret door opening was absolutely not the sound that Rike hear with her Detect Noise ability earlier either, and the dust and cobwebs beyond indicated that this secret passage had not been used in months. So, like, even though they thought they heard a secret door, they were wrong, and it’s only through dumb luck that they stumbled upon this. Like a broken clock.

That’s where we left off in the last session.

Sorry that was long as fuck but I hope this paints a clearer picture of what a classic “dungeon crawl” is actually like to those of you who have never experienced one.

Oh and if you’re wondering the DM told us later that those walking corpses take normal damage from Slashing and Bludgeoning attacks but always 1 damage from Piercing attacks.

"D&D can do anything" and "I don't like dungeon crawls, I enjoy real role-playing" are two statements that often go hand-in-hand and the ironic thing is that the latter statement betrays a very shallow understanding of role-playing while being really snobby. What's even more hilarious is that it's like baby's first RPG elitism, like yeah most people go through a "I like real role-playing" phase but to go through it while putting on airs about the dungeon game while at the same time dismissing dungeon games is real funny.

Anyway, wherever people pick up the idea that dungeon-crawling, the playstyle most supported by D&D, is somehow pedestrian, it very quickly leads to bargaining, like surely if dungeon-crawling is actually bad and for babies then D&D must be capable of so much more, right? Well, truth is, not really, D&D kind of sucks for things besides that.

Where a lot of people go wrong at this point is contending that therefore D&D must be flawed as a role-playing game: like, if it actually kind of sucks for most playstyles besides dungeon-crawling and we've already decided that dungeon-crawling isn't real role-playing, then surely D&D must be bad as a role-playing game?

The issue of course is that most people don't ever interrogate their starting assumption of dungeon-crawls being bad. And truth be told most people who claim to hate dungeon-crawls have never actually played a dungeon-crawl. At most they've played a dungeon-crawl themed linear succession of combat encounters. (I remember this: once when I posted about dungeon-crawls being good, actually, someone responded with a "well I can see the appeal but personally I couldn't enjoy a game that's just back-to-back combat" which is a whole misunderstanding of dungeon-crawls as a genre.)

Anyway so the great thing is that once you re-examine your assumptions about what counts as "real role-playing" and conclude that a dungeon-crawl is as much real role-playing as whatever the fuck Critical Role is doing then you find whole new vectors of being a snooty blowhard and it rules. You can make fun of D&D players in so many new ways,

[vsnotresponding]

🖤 Are there any book series that you’ve been meaning to start but haven’t gotten around to yet? Which ones are they?

And then the blue one about classics, because I know you’ve been reading those! (it’s been a long day—)

hi lyn!

ask here

🖤 Are there any book series that you’ve been meaning to start but haven’t gotten around to yet? Which ones are they?

yes. there are. so many. my tbr is never ending. i have such a hard time starting new books it's unbelievable. i read 0 new books and add 10 to the tbr (which consists on a bunch of screenshots and books i do own)

but in short, i want to finish reading all of Jane Austen by the end of the year (i'm using this app called serial reader which has a bunch of classics for free and delivers 10 minutes of reading per day. it's been really useful so far) (i'm also doing the dracula daily but i gotta catch up after finals).

i also want to catch up with my favorite spanish writers, Iria G Parente and Selene M Pascual (3 standalones and a space opera trilogy, and finishing a steampunk biology). i'd also like to reread their fantasy sagas (one they are reprinting with revisions and i'm waiting for all three books to be out, the other i'm afraid to reread because i know i will cry so much. i'm also on a reread the grishaverse project. it started great but then i bought a special edition of SoC and CK and im waiting for it to arrive to continue (it has in line comments by the author). same issue with the folk of the air. because i only have the energy to reread if that

📘Which classic book or author do you think everyone should read at least once in their lifetime, and why?

classic wise, i haven't read much actually. we read some spanish and catalan classics in school (they all sucked so much except for one, but i dont think everyone should read it) (one day i'll go on a rant about the books we were made to read because why would you do this to us)

in english class we read adapted versions of classics (say, 2k very poorly written summaries that were a pain in the ass to get through), so i can't judge them for that

but yeah, six months ago, the only english classic i'd read was pride and prejudice (which im like. very normal about. but i also wouldnt recomend it? idk. i enjoy the trainwreck and seeing my parents in mr and mrs bennet because it's literally them). since december i've read a christmas carol, hamlet, and northanger abbey. and, honestly, i think the only one i think everyone needs to read is northanger abbey, for the only reason that sometimes you need to calm the fuck down and see the world from the pov of a very agressively 17 year old girl, you know?

also also. i haven't read the play but like... mar i cel. everyone should watch it. 10/10 not biased at all

[thewritetofreespeech]

Delicos nursery!?! Fic requests!?! Please please~~

Dino classic marries a plus size woman who at first seems cold but is a total sweetheart and just doesn't understand why people are afraid of her husband? She adores her step son like her own and even call him teddy for short? I love the sunshine x grumpy trope!

There were many things Dino liked about being an aristocrat. Power. The prestige. Being apart of the inner circle of their society.

The one thing he hated about being an aristocrat was the parties.

But, if you wanted to be apart of the inner circle, and get the power & prestige, there were a certain number of social events that were an unspoken mandatory for a man of his station. Particularly one with a new wife, whom he was obligated to introduce to society as such. What a bore.

Luckily, his new wife was much more adept at these kind of things than him. Bright and bubbly, with a family almost grievously overconnected, his new wife took to the party like a fish to water. Talking to everyone and making efforts to re-introduce herself to old friends & new as the current Lady Classico.

Dino entertained himself back in a corner. A position he had grown comfortable with since he was a young man forced onto these parties; until his mother made him come out and talk to people, as he was never going to get married rooted to the ground like a wallflower. He just liked to watch more than participate. He felt it was easier to gauge the situation, gather intel, from the sidelines than in the fray. Plus people being near him always seemed to make his skin crawl.

A while later he noticed his wife coming over to him. A noticeable, deep pout on her lips. One he had never seen; save for the pretend ones she threw at him when she wanted to get her way. This one seemed real though. “What’s the matter?”

“These people are rude.”

This shocked Dino. As he had also never heard his wife speak ill of anyone either. She always seemed to find the good in others. Found the good in him. “How so?”

“They make underhanded comments about you and seem to think I’m too stupid to understand them.” Dino frowned at that. His wife was not stupid. They could say what they wanted about him, some of it probably true, but they would not speak ill of his wife. “Would you…be terribly disappointed if we go? I do not want to make a bad impression, but I also do not think I can screw on a smile much longer?”

Disappointed? Dino thought. He’d jump up an’ click his heels, if only his back would ever forgive him. “Of course. I’ll have our coats and coach sent for.” His wife smiled. Seeming to want to kiss him in her enthusiasm, but remembering they were in public.

Dino instead took her hand in his and kissed her glove where his ring would be. “Could we also take some cakes home for Teddy?” She had taken to calling Theodore that. At first he tried to talk her out of it, but she commented that he was just so cute. Theodore didn’t seem to mind (in fact he seemed to enjoy it judging by his blush) so Dino let it go. “I know you don’t like him to have many sweets but…once in a while can’t hurt. They’ll just throw them away at the end of the night anyway.”

He glanced at the elaborate dessert table. Days of work for the host’s staff. Barely touched. All to go to waste as she predicted. “Take two. The two of you can have them after dinner tomorrow night.” His wife grinned and scurried off to the table to collect her sweets while he called for their coach.

When they arrive home it is late, but not too far gone. His staff greet their new lady and she made quick work to greet them back before running upstairs to try and catch Theodore before bed. He was likely up reading late anyway.

Dino stood there in the foyer, watching her go, before he looked down at the parcel of cakes suddenly in his hands. He opened the lid to see what she had picked and smiled. Not surprised to see 3 slices instead of 2. See, his wife was very clever. She seemed to have no end to surprising him.

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Poems

main masterlist | supernatural masterlist

summary: dean searches your room when you’re missing, and the love letters he finds break his heart

pairing: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.9k (1.5k excluding poems) 

warnings: reader goes/is missing, language, 

author’s note: please don’t make fun of my “poetry”, i know it’s not good that’s why i don't write poems lol

“Hey Dean, I’m working a case near Wichita so I’ll probably be back home by the end of the week. See you soon, bye.”

“That’s the last I heard from her,” Dean told his brother after playing him the message you left. “It’s been over a week, I’m gettin’ worried here!”

“Do you know what kinda case she was working?” Sam asked, Dean shook his head. “Okay, well I’m sure she’s fine, Dean. Let’s call the hospitals around where she is and ask if she’s there.”

“You do that, I’m gonna head to Wichita,” Dean replied.

“I think we should call the hospitals first, Dean. She said she was near Wichita, she could be anywhere from here to there!”

Dean sighed but agreed with Sam’s plan.

**

The boys had no luck with any of the hospitals so they decided to head over to Wichita and look for you. They searched for a few days before heading back to the bunker, hoping you might be there waiting for them. You weren’t, of course, and that only made their worry grow.

You’d been missing for nearly two weeks!  

Dean thought there might be some kind of clue in your room and decided that searching it was next on his to-do list. Though he knew he was grasping at straws, he did it anyway.

Opening the door to your room, he smiled at the poster near your bed. It was the one he’d gotten you for Christmas last year. It was a kind of gag gift—it was his favorite band. (His real gift had been much more thoughtful.)

He began his search at your desk, digging through the mess of papers splayed out on the wood surface. His brows furrowed when he found one paper in particular. It looked like… a love poem?

The way your hair looks in the morning

The way your laugh adds life to moments boring

The way your breath hits my neck when you’re standing just behind me

Reaching over to grab something off the table

A lore book, of all things to be

And the way your eyes light up when you look into mine

I swear I almost see a hint of love

Behind those piercing starlights

Your lips on mine is what I need

Did you hear me? 

I said kiss me, you fool!

We’ve not got much time

In this line of life 

And I need you at my side.

Dean didn’t know if the poem would be considered “good” in the public eye, but he knew it made his heart clench. You were in love? But… with whom?

To him, the words were beautiful, and the thought that you wrote them about someone else broke his fucking heart. He knew there were no clues to your whereabouts in the next poem, but of course, he read it anyway.

I think of you when I drive and spot a classic car

I think of you when I eat a cheeseburger 

And I’ll turn it upside down when I’m missing you

I think of you when I hear a Zepplin song

And I turn the music up when I’m not with you

I think of you when I see anyone wear flannel

Or a leather jacket that’s clearly a size or two too big

And I love to think of you

It just makes sense to me

I love to picture you beside me

At night when I can’t sleep

Or when I get scared of what I’m facing

I think of what you would do

Day or night

Night, day, or noon 

I always think of you

Whoever this mystery person was, they were fucking lucky. Dean had never felt so jealous in his entire life. He always thought you two had a “will they won’t they�� side to your relationship but at that moment he realized it was completely one-sided. The fun, flirty side to all your late-night conversations had just been friendly. Two friends playfully talking as if they both wanted to be more.

Of course Dean wanted to be more. Of course he knew he wanted to be with you. But now? Now he knew he’d either missed his chance or he simply never had one.

You were in love with someone that wasn’t him. And the love you’d been writing about wasn’t the kind someone gets over. It’s the kind that sticks—for life. The kind that people write songs about, the kind that people fight wars over, and the kind that makes people go crazy in the best way. 

He knew he’d found that love when he first fell for you, but it turned out you had found that love in someone else.

“Anything?” Sam asked, walking into your room.

“Uhm,” Dean cleared his throat, hoping his eyes didn’t look as cloudy as they felt. “No, nothing important. Just some love letters or something.” 

Sam furrowed his brows and picked up one of the poems off the desk, one that Dean had not read yet. As the taller Winchester read what you wrote his eyes grew wide, practically popping out of his head as his mouth fell open.

“Oh my fucking god!” Sam exclaimed. “Y/n’s in love with you?” He looked at his older brother in shock.

“Me? No, these poems are about whoever she’s been seeing recently, they aren’t about me. We’re just friends.”

“You haven’t read this one yet, have you?” Sam asked with a small smile before handing it over.

You asked me today; “what’s your favorite color?”

And I just shrugged; “I don’t know, blue?”

Cause how could I have said the truth?

The color I love most in the world

The color that brings me nothing but joy

In this sad, awful little life

Is the green and hazel of your eyes

The emerald diamonds that shine

When you look into the sun

The soft hazel that looks over at me

When we’re reading in the library

How can I tell you all of this 

When the question is so simple and plain

How do I go into such specific detail

About the color I’m in love with

Without freaking you out

Or scaring you away

Or making you laugh at me

Because I know your favorite color 

And I know it’s not the color of my eyes

“You…You think this is really about me?” Dean asked his little brother, hoping Sam was right.

“Dean in all my life I have never seen anyone but you eat a burger bun-side-down,” Sam chuckled a little having read one of the poems Dean had read earlier.

“Oh my god.” Dean furrowed his brows, looking back down at the paper in his hands. “We’ve gotta find her, Sammy, I gotta tell her!”

“Tell her that you went through her stuff while she was gone? Don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“No! Tell her I’m in love with her! Tell her that the color of her eyes is my favorite fucking color too! And every time her favorite band comes on the radio I turn it up, and every time I see a woman wearing her type of clothes I think about her. Tell her that all I do every waking moment of every day is wish I was with her, wish I was holding her in my arms so I could never let go.”

“I think you just told her.” Sam smiled, nodding to where you now stood at your door. Dean turned around quickly. Tears of joy stung your eyes as you looked at him and smiled.

“You love me?” you asked.

“More than anything,” Dean admitted as he hurried to you. He wrapped you in a tight hug, kissing your temple quickly before he tucked your head under his chin. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call, it’s a long story,” you mumbled. “When vampires ban together with twisted humans, they’re a lot harder to kill.”

“We were really worried about you,” Dean admitted. “Like…fucking terrified.”

“Is that why you decided to dig through my personal shit?” you asked. You were one hundred percent kidding, but Dean was still nervous.

“Yeah…sorry,” Sam cringe-clenched his teeth, “it was my fault.”

You and Dean pulled back from the hug, but you took his hand in yours as you narrowed your gaze at the younger hunter.

“I know your tell, Sammy,” you said. “But it’s sweet that you’re trying to cover for Dean.” 

“Yep, all Dean’s fault,” Sam admitted before heading for the door, giving his brother a pat on the shoulder on his way out. “Good luck.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, I swear,” Dean told you quickly. “I was looking for something that might tell me where the hell you were.”

“How many did you read?” you asked.

“Three,” Dean sighed, still thinking you were pissed at him.

“So…you know, then? That I’m hopelessly in love with you? And you think I’d be mad at you for looking through my stuff?”

“I mean, I know you value your privacy.”

“Dean,” you started, putting a hand on his cheek and turning his face to look down at you, “would you please just fuckin’ kiss me already?”

He seemed almost surprised by your question but he quickly smiled as he bent down and kissed you. His one hand stayed clasped in yours while his other went to your waist and then trailed to your lower back. The hand you had on his cheek went to the upper back of his neck so you could tangle your fingers in his hair. The smiles on both of your faces only grew before you both pulled away.

“Wow, I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Dean mumbled before he let out a short, breathy laugh.

“Me too,” you replied. 

**

You’d been back home for a few days now and you had explained the whole missing situation to the brothers. You told them how the simple vampire hunt turned sour quickly when you realized the small-town’s sheriff was in on it and helped the vamps with making humans just disappear. They’d made you as a hunter instantly and held you hostage for a few days before you killed your way out. 

Dean never left your side so when he saw a new poem on your desk his brows furrowed. Curiosity got the better of him as he sat down to read it.

My god aren't I lucky

Now that you're holding me at night

And that first time we kissed in the doorway

I could’ve sworn I was kissing pure sunshine 

When your lips hit mine it was better

Then I could’ve ever imagined

And the love poems I've written became

Manifested words of affirmation

The butterflies in my stomach fluttered

And the blood rushed to my head

Think I could stay like this forever

Won't overthink it, I’ll just go and kiss you instead

“Well, well, well.” You came up behind him, and put your hands on his shoulders before you trailed them down and clasped them together over his chest, leaning your chin on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “Look who’s digging through my shit again.” You smiled against his skin. He turned his head and placed a deep kiss on your lips.

“I’m not even sorry this time, because I think this might be the best thing I’ve ever read.”

“I love you,” you said and kissed him again.

“I love you so fuckin’ much,” he mumbled back.

[funficwriter]

A Wolf and A Snake (Wriothesley x Reader)

Chapter 3: In the Low Gardens

A/N: Thank you all so much for being patient with me! I wanted this chapter to be fun to read, but had so little time to write this week. I just hope I have a little more freedom in the future. Anyways, enjoy!

Synopsis: Being a noble meant that marriage was a chess game, not an affair of love. Unfortunately for the pristine Balthazar family of Fontaine, Y/N has long been enamored with love and sought it out before their priorities. After her grey, boring time of courtesy, she meets Duke Wriothesley, who makes her yearn for the first time in her life, and it's the same for him. Threatened by the idea of losing this first, it seems they'll stop at very little to be together...

Taglist: @yue-caelum, @reyy-chanx, @mis-disaster, @ladyarchiviste, @keigo-hawks-takami-simp

Warnings: Talk of murder/violence/corruption, yandere talk, Wrio gets a lil primal, a few smutty details, does scheming behind the back count as a warning? Lol

----------------------------------------

Your parents were not the type to sing, least of all sing to express joy. But whenever they peered at you from the balcony, they looked like they could explode in song any minute. They never looked as jubilant, as proud of their daughter as they saw her, arm linked with the chivalrous and gentle Duke Archandelle.

You supposed any other girl would kill to be in your place. Duke Archandelle hailed from a long and well-respected lineage, and made a fortune for both himself and Fontaine's economy through his commerce. He was rather handsome, had a voice described as 'light honey with mint', and towered over you, the lady he was going to protect with that advantage. Hopefully, for the rest of your lives. On top of that, he was cultured, up-to-date with Fontaine's classical and modern trends, but was no pansy; He was an excellent swordfighter and hunter. You almost heard their voices yelling at you: "You've got the perfect gentleman falling at your feet, and you're not grateful?! How dare you!".

There you two were, in one of your manor's many gardens. This was the highest, prettiest one of all, and had a lovely table among the flowers where you would soon take your tea. Both of you were well-dressed, engaged in conversation (he carried most of it) and took tiny steps to ensure it stayed that way. You looked like the perfect royal Fontainian couple. Add on the fact that Archandelle has decreed himself 'fervently in love' with you, and didn't look like he was going to give up... No wonder your parents were probably even happier than they were on their own wedding day.

'Fervently in love', my ass. If I wasn't so angry, I'd laugh. Maybe with his stupid monologues or my last name's history book... My Wriothesley could teach him a thing or two about love.

"And I say, it was so dastardly for them to write that ending! I mean, to let these filthy 'protagonists' get away with their crimes! I can think of youngsters reading this novel. What will they think? How are we raising them and- My dear, are you with me?".

The funny thing about his tirades was how they can be condensed to the same strand of puritanism, either outrageous or righteous. You barely had to listen and should he feel testy, you had an answer.

"Ah, forgive me, my dear Duke. I was just appalled at the text, to the point where I didn't know what to say. But do know I'm in full agreement!".

He beamed: "Why, of course you are. Your parents raised a fine and virtuous young lady who knows right from wrong.".

Your agreement seemed to have calmed him down. He stopped to take your hand and kiss it.

"One of the countless reasons I fell in love with you.".

Liar!

You wished you could shut him up. As he embodied the peak of your social class, he also had all the ideas you wanted to criticize as loud as you can, but couldn't risk. One of them was this picking on cultural output not based on whether it was good, whether they liked it, but whether it was 'moral' or not. What's more is the power they hold. Should something not be 'moral', that would mean another secret trip to the bookstore for you, before it got fully banned.

Though you couldn't shut him up, you had two tools up your arsenal: The first was thinking of Wriothesley, which made you surprisingly more patient than you imagined. The second was hearing Archandelle be less of a whiner, more of an admirer.

"Say, my Lord, surely you've seen some good plays where this doesn't happen, right? I'm sure we'll all need good recommendations.".

Once again, he beamed, and you could tell he was restricting himself from being too physical. But perhaps he felt a bit more daring, because he put an arm around your waist and carried on walking, while talking about 'good' plays he's seen (which you were sure were total dogshit if it came from him.).

The butler had called you for tea time. It wasn't the day for your favorite dessert, but a quick wink from Agatha, who was passing by, let you know who twisted his arm into bending the unofficial rule. You felt a bit of remorse for not being able to tell her who you really liked, but you decided to do it when you were in a more secure position with Wriothesley.

-----------------------------------------------------

Curse whoever decided that falling in love with a half-wolf (or any hybrid, for that matter) was a curse, and bless your own canine lover for using his affinity towards the night to pick this one. The stars shined along with the soft moon, with only a few cloudy wisps passing by. The air was crisp, cooling but not so much that you had to stay in.

The hour struck. Your heart did a leap so brusque, you had to take a deep breath. The clock said it all: It was time.

You picked a simple dress for your rendez-voux; Flattering, but no hassle. Your mother wasn't fond of it, because she thought it didn't 'do justice to your beauty'. Another one of millions of differences between you two, separating her and your father into the loud and showy sun, while you counted the minutes until you could entangle your hand into his under the moon. Though everyone slept, the night was still young... Should you desire it, would more than that happen?

No one could police your desires if you thought of them.

Let him hold me again. Let him hold me securely, claiming me as his under the full moon as his own culture decrees. I'm asking a lot... But please, let him kiss me before Duke Archandelle does and let him scream it out to the world so it could throw me into his arms.

As you made your way down, your reverie was only interrupted when you passed by your elder brother's room. Being married, he split his time between his new villa and your manor. You weren't looking forward to his next visit, especially when he caught wind of your 'engagement' with Duke Archandelle and sent you a long, pompous letter congratulating you as his 'equally prestigious sister, upholding the Balthazar's powerful unions'. Ugh.

In retrospect, perhaps you should have hurried along; Just after you continued, you bumped into a curvaceous figure you knew well (after all, she held you more than your mother) and made an audible "Ow!".

So much for not being caught, least of all by your own hissing governess. Should you be caught, she'd surely get heat for not making sure you were in bed.

"Y/N! What are you doing out of bed? You have lessons tomorrow, don't you?".

As she talked, she pulled you away from your brother's door and the bedrooms of the floor. After all, she was just in as much danger as you were.

"Agatha! Hey, um... I was... I was going down to grab a glass of water. I'm thirsty.".

Forget the fact that you weren't in your sleeping attire and that your voice was racked in nerve. How could you have hoped to lie to her, your true mother figure who knew every inkling of you hiding something on your face? Her quirked-up brows clearly let you know that she didn't buy it, but what really made you want to spill the beans was the slight glimmer in her eyes: She was hurt by you lying to her.

"Really, Y/N? After all those years, you think I'd believe that? I have raised you as my own, yet you act as if I were hired this morning.".

"Agatha, I'm so sorry. Please don't be sad, I'll tell you but...".

You couldn't believe it; You were about to tell someone that you were seeing another man behind your arranged partner's back. It would be one thing if he were some king and your parents were idiots at making their final verdict. But you were seeing Duke Wriothesley of Meropide. You were seeing a wolf-hybrid, a dangerous kind to human beings (even though you'd argue that correlation does not equal causation). You were seeing a prison warden, a polite but hardy, brutish man.

Agatha could sense that your secret was a big one. She ran a hand through your head: "My dear, I've always kept your secrets, haven't I? What is so scary that you would hide it from me of all people?".

"Oh, Agatha, it's not scary at all. It's wonderful and lovely and beautiful. It makes me get out of bed with hope in my heart. it sends me to sleep as the happiest girl of Teyvat.".

Her face broke out into a smile: "By Focalors! What is it then?".

"But I'm the only one who sees it that way! It's not scary to me at all. He brings me all the joy in my life, and yet if anyone found out that would spell the end of me and him! Agatha, why did you have to be up tonight of all nights?".

A moment of silence eclipsed, you wallowing in the realization that you gave her a hint. In both your hearts, you felt that she knew you didn't like Duke Archandelle, as with most royal women. But to go to the lengths of seeing another man... Did she think you had it in you?

"Who is he, Y/N?".

"Duke Wriothesley of Meropide. We snuck by the last two socials, and we were planning to meet up tonight in the low gardens.".

You could see the shock in her face. Anyone would be, pairing you with him of all gentlemen. You couldn't blame her. If anything, you wanted to burst in tears, put your head at her feet and thank her for her tolerance. Rather than alerting even the most insignificant servant in the house, she patted your hand and stayed.

"Does he make you happy?".

"Yes. Happy enough to live.".

"That's a lot of happiness. A level you've always deserved, but if you're honest, only recently acquired. If at last my prayers for your joy are answered and they come in his form, who am I to judge you?".

A small, meek smile made its way on her face. You threw your arms around her shoulders.

"Thank you, Agatha, thank you!".

She helped you up, then looked out of the window. Whether it was at the skies or the gardens below, you couldn't tell nor had the time to ask. She grabbed your hand and continued the way downstairs.

"Let's not keep him waiting.".

------------------------------------------------------------------

You stepped out, feeling light and relaxed under the cool moon. Then there he was: Your very own prince charming, who was expectantly waiting in front of the garden's backdoor. His ears perked up. Once he saw you, your time of admiration from afar was over. A few loud steps resonated before you felt his embrace engulf you, and at last you were in his arms and everything felt (was) alright.

What made it better was his reciprocation; From the big, dumb smile, to the twitching ears (how cute!) to the feeling of his strong muscles protecting you from whatever misery could strike you right then and there...

"If I told you of how much my heart screamed out for you, you wouldn't hear the end of it.".

He kissed your hand as per usual. You supposed that if you wanted more, you had to catalyze it yourself: "I don't want to hear its end, Wriothesley.".

You didn't have to hear it, for you were still held against him. His heart was beating frenetically, reverberating into your own body.

Only when he looked up and saw Agatha, that wonder dwindled.

"What the... Who are you?".

"Wait, Wrio. She's on our side. She's the only one who supports our romance.".

He let out a small 'oh', trying to relax but with worry clear on his face. Agatha, being ever so talented at soothing, stepped in.

"Greeting, Lord Wriothesley. I am Y/N's governess. Forgive me for being out, I wasn't supposed to know of this. I just caught her by accident, but I promise I won't tell a soul.".

He took a moment before speaking up: "Agatha? Oh, Y/N has mentioned you before. In that case, I'm glad it was you who caught her, and no one else. And thank you for keeping up the secrecy, though it won't be that way forever. I intend to marry her, one way or another.".

"Frankly, anyone who can take care of her and makes her happy is great, in my opinion.".

Her warm, motherly smile has lowered many people's guards. You could tell his worry was fading away, knowing she could be trusted. He nodded one more time, and off you two went. The good thing about the low gardens was the fact that unless someone was close, no one could hear you. It was the 'abandoned' garden per se. While it wasn't as grand as the higher ones, it had many beautiful flowers, a lake, and you could never uncouple your memories of playing hide-and-seek there with Agatha or your friends.

But nevertheless, it didn't stop your displeasure at the fact that you weren't recognized at his yet. You wanted to show all of Teyvat who you really loved, who had the right to call you 'mine'.

"I wish... I wish I could have shown you the higher gardens.".

He squeezed your hand and you looked up to him. You could have died with the beautiful vision in front of you: Did the moon make his piercing eyes glow better, or was that just you?

"My love, there will be a day where we can stroll out in the open, in whatever garden you want. And besides...".

He looked on his surroundings as you kept walking, now linking arms.

"I like the secrecy aspect that comes with this one. It's like... Like our social world doesn't want you to be mine. And yet here and now, you are. Always were, always will be.".

It made you blush. It only got worse when you wanted to tuck a piece of hair, and he caught a glance at the wolf bracelet: "And from the looks of it, you want to be all mine, don't you?".

"Oh, yes. I wear it all the time Father isn't around. I'm sorry if I was morose earlier. It's the fact that I can't stand being someone else's fiancée, especially when I had no say in the matter.".

"Don't beat yourself up. I know well that we're on the same wavelength. I'm already scheming on it, too...".

While you loved talking about being his, you knew that alone wasn't enough. There had to be some sort of plan, some idea as to how he'd get you. And much to your happiness, he wasn't empty-headed to doom you to just keeping your affair, an affair. You leaned close to listen.

"So I'm presuming he wants to marry you because of your family name, yes? Like all other shitty noble marriages...".

You laughed a bit: "That's the one.".

"I already have an investigator to look further into his. Depending on whether he committed serious crime, going above the general corruption that's too often seen and brushed aside, you as his future wife have the right to file for a 'Motion of Marital Worry'. Then the Court could look into how that may affect you, and thus stop you from marrying him even if your father objects.".

This was... Wonderful.

"Why, Wriothesley, I love a man who's proactive! But I have one worry about this plan: Fontaine may be less corrupt than other nations, but there's still crime that's deemed as 'not serious', especially from our class. What if they bribe someone? That's what always happens.".

"Nah, don't worry. I myself am well acquainted with some... Important figures in the judicial system. They'll be sure to look out for such a motion with your name or mine on it. And if the crime is very serious, there's no way they'll turn their head.".

He stopped walking, letting the soft howl of the wind play out before continuing: "And anyways, that's only the first plan. I've got more ideas in case it doesn't work.".

"You really think ahead, eh?".

"If it concerns you? I think about it all the time. Even my sleep is yours.".

All the time. All the time, for me. This union was nothing like the trash your father wanted to force you in. In the other one, you belonged to Archandelle, but contrary to his spiel about love, he didn't belong to you. Maybe not other women if he were 'loyal', but you saw his attitude towards seeing you as a Balthazar, versus seeing you as... You. He really only belonged to himself.

"Don't worry. If he didn't do anything, I'll just make him. If his hand is clean, I'll twist it until it bleeds then yell bloody murder until he's sentenced for life.".

Wriothesley long made it clear, and he kept making it clear to reassure you. His loving gaze, his obsession, his thought of you that went as far as remembering everything you've ever loved or told him (and believe me, it's a lot) said it all: He belonged to you, and you belonged to him, as true love should be.

You stroked his cheek, taking in his eyes as he did yours: "And when you twist him into the wrangled, bloody mess you can make... I'll cheer you on. I'll praise like I'm watching the greatest of theater.".

Perhaps it was the fact that everything has been so dreary, or that the full moon just made people playful, but you broke away from him, your arms brusquely rejecting him and giving you distance. His stunned look hurt you a bit, but the fun you wanted was priceless.

"But Duke Wriothesley, the prince must always fight hard for the one he desires, yes?".

His boot made a quiet crunch as he approached you, and you took a step back. In a way, it was fun, withholding yourself from him as he ached for you. However, he reciprocated your playful smirk, understanding what your intention was. As you stepped back, you did the occasional twirl as your dress flowed with the moon's shine.

Teasing him was so fun: "Aren't I right? Isn't what he desires most, the most guarded and forbidden by everyone else? Shouldn't he be ready to do anything if he loves the princess that much?".

"My... Are you underestimating the limits I'll break to call you my wife? While I try to be calm to avoid prejudice, I have no issue tuning into my violent side if it's for you.".

The string snapped. You turned back and ran off: "We'll see about that, Your Grace!".

How long has it been since you ran? You forgot the freedom, the breeziness it offered.

"I'll make you see, alright!"

But that wasn't where your true excitement laid. It was the quicker, heavier crunching sound right behind you.

Off the wolf went, chasing down his partner. He had the advantage of being fit, and his hybrid blood granting him more speed than the average human. But you were also flighty and you knew the garden better than he did. Whenever he thought he had you, you ran back another corner, and even pulled your tongue at him if he was far enough.

At some point, you hid close to the lake. He had not reached this area yet, so you were safe to catch your breath. If only this could last beyond your couple of hours together! Not even factoring the end yet, you thought of him, smiling and chasing you both literally and figuratively. Only when you looked down to check on your dress, did you notice your legs clenching tight and the sudden warmth, the higher you went...

Perhaps you should have remembered that you were still being chased, ergo had no more time than a few quick breaths. You didn't hear the rustle of the bushes. Before you knew it, large hands grabbed your waist and their owner let out a victorious growl, lifting you up.

"Oh no, the wolf got me!".

"Damn right, he did! Now you're his to devour!".

He wanted to carry on, but a loving state always reduces one to recklessness. He tripped on a pebble, but made sure to switch so he'd take the fall rather than you. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as he expected.

"Wriothesley, my dear! Are you okay?".

He chuckled at your worried face: "Nah, don't worry. It was way softer than I expected. Hah...".

A crimson blush spread upon both of your faces (but especially yours). It just dawned on you: You were on top of him, like on his body, and the chase excited him in the same way it did you. His red cheeks and the hard poke you felt against your thigh said it all.

"Archons, I... I'm so sorry, Y/N. I tend to enjoy that sort of stuff, running around and chasing...".

"It's okay... I enjoyed it, too...".

The time stopped when you (slowly, yet surely) shook off the awkwardness, as you sat up in his lap. How do you proceed from there? How do you deal with feeling so clueless in what you want? You barely processed that, as you ran a hesitant hand through his hair.

"I really like your ears.".

"There it is.".

His arms tightened around your waist as he replayed the phrase in his head: "I really like your ears.". And you liked his dark attire above all the others'. And you liked his voice and his way of comportment, and by Focalors, you were madly in love with the human and wolf halves of him, never conditionally or pretending some part of him did not exist.

In the midst of this prolonged yearning, you two could no longer wait. He leaned down and sealed his promises with the kiss you've long thought of and saved just for him.

The full moon made its appearance on the lake reflection. The wind rustled the plants around you a bit. Unbelieving that this was actually happening, you pulled him in closer, wishing you could merge your bodies together. Even when you were dipping slower, slower into the ground, you knew he wouldn't let you fall harshly. You knew his tight grip was ever present to protect you from that or any other dangers, and its warmth of love and appreciation was only for you.

And you took in his mint breath, each time breathing in more and more. You were starved for your lover, and so was he, keeping you in his arms and away from a world that wanted you two apart. It already did enough of that throughout the day. The night was yours.

You two broke away, panting and looking into each other's diluted pupils. Sometimes, you couldn't believe how being with him was like having your own puppy. He whispered: "I love you with the marrow of my bones.", before dipping his head into your neck to kiss it. If marrying him, sharing the same bed, meant you could nuzzle your face into his fluffy hair, you had another reason to fight away from your other suitor.

Happy with its softness against your running hand and face, and his sweet kisses, you couldn't help but purr out: "I can't wait until... Until we can do this all the time, whenever we want.".

"Hah... And that time will come. I've already handed so much to the world, I'm not handing you out too.".

He looked up at the sky to tell the time, then chuckled in a morose manner: "Time sure flies by when I'm with you. It's like I lose control over it so easily.".

He made a sad, but true point; For one, you had to head back into your chambers, because dawn would emerge soon enough and you needed time to change, actually sleep... There was also the fact that even if he got onto the active part of taking you from your father and Archandelle (funny, you just remembered his name), your parents would probably want to have you married soon. Time was of the essence, and that essence was short-lived and impossible to take back.

As he walked you back to the backdoor, hands squeezed tight, he leaned in: "My dear, can I ask you for a favor?".

"Of course. Anything for you.".

"Next time you have to meet that idiot your parents call 'your fiancé', look at whether he behaves out of the norm. Specifically, if he's nervous or uncomfortable. Or maybe if he talks more about politics.".

"I see...".

"Nobles who feel like they have something to hide always act like that. Depending on what's found against him, he could be called for questioning. That's enough to cause unrest.".

You laughed: "As with every other noble guy. You'll probably find worse skeletons in my father's closet.".

"The question isn't whether there are skeletons. It's how you use them.".

You liked that idea a lot, enough to make you smirk. Now that you thought about it, there were many 'skeletons' around you, especially those belonging to your father. And now, you were growing into a position where you could use them, where you could be as knowledgeable in the law as Wriothesley and use it to your advantage. Sure, that might get you called 'disgraceful', but you'd be ripping yourself away from them faster, ergo into your lover. And if Fontaine was all about fairness, what was happening to you was unfair. You were just rectifying an error.

"Uh-oh. My mischievous darling is smiling like that of all ways. What do you have in mind?".

"I just liked what you said. It feels a lot like how the world works.".

"It's not far off.".

Agatha was sitting down next to the backdoor. She stood up and bowed, but her smile grew bigger when she caught sight of your intertwined hands. You felt very lucky to have her by your side.

Before bidding goodnights, Wriothesley turned you to him, and kissed you one more time, before stroking a strand of hair from your face: "Dream of me. Let us meet in the realm of sleep and continue this, until we won't have to dream anymore.".

"I promise.".

Much to your heavy heart, you headed back in, and he was off to the nearest teleportation waypoint. The ending of your meetings always brought sadness to your heart, but he worked so hard for a reason; He would rather die than you two not be together. His very passion was you, and you knew that if he was yours, some things had to be done. And you were sure that could happen, starting with the favor.

---------------------------------

"Y/N, you said he made you the happiest girl of Teyvat?".

"Yes.".

"Well, you sure look like that right now! How was it?".

[not-wholly-unheroic]

This is a weird question, but y'know how some versions of Hook are super serious nearly all of the time (like in the novel and in Peter Pan and the Pirates) and some of them are only semi-serious (like the Cyril Ritchard one)? Where does Disney Hook sit on that scale of silly to serious? What do you think the ideal ratio is?

Another thing, how rich looking do you like Hook to be? Toned down like his OG stage appearance or crazy, stupid, impractical wealthy looking like Hoffman's Hook?

Love the blog btw :)

Aw, thanks so much! I’m always happy to hear someone is enjoying my content and I’m not just rambling about my favorite character into the void. 😅

So…as this is primarily a Disney Hook blog, I’m admittedly a little bit biased in my preference. I love most versions of Hook (though there are a few I actually really dislike because I feel they do a disservice to the character), but Disney has a special place in my heart because it was Disney’s version that first drew me to the character and convinced me to read the novel. I was intrigued by the fact that he could simultaneously be a legitimately threatening villain and also show emotions like fear and despair that we so rarely saw in animated villain characters from that era. It was these moments of “weakness” that made him actually seem human to me. A Hook (or any character) who is TOO stoic and frightening either becomes entirely unlikable because the audience can’t relate to them or they become a sort of flat, boring stereotype, a sort of caricature of villainy.

The more classic Disney villains are generally meant to be the sort of character we love to hate and hate to love. They’re supposed to be a little over the top and larger than life. They’re meant to revel in their villainy while still being entertaining. We’re supposed to like them at least to a point even if we seriously disagree with their moral standpoint on things. There are a few, however, who become a little too “real” and who I genuinely despise… Frollo comes to mind. There is nothing “fun” about Frollo. He’s a racist, misogynistic, ableist man who mis-uses the name of God and his authoritative position to get what he wants. Is Frollo a well-written villain? Oh, absolutely. Is there anything about him that I find likable or redeemable? I mean, he has a good singing voice… But that’s about the only nice thing I can say about him. He’s a terrible person and I have zero sympathy for him at his death.

But to return to Hook specifically…. What I find interesting is that although Disney’s Hook is often accused of being too silly, really the only thing that makes him a comical villain is his fear reactions to the crocodile (and octopus if you include the sequel). And that is entirely a function of the lens we are given to view him as the audience. The music we hear in the background as the crocodile’s theme is rather lighthearted and the other characters (the heroes) are often making fun of him in the scenes where he’s having a complete breakdown and running/swimming for his life. But if we switched the music to something more ominous (check out the Drewe & Stiles Peter Pan musical theme for the crocodile—it’s frankly terrifying) and saw things from Hook’s perspective…it would really give off the same vibes as, say, Jaws or Jurassic Park. I strongly suspect that if it were our heroes being chased by the crocodile, things would look/sound/feel very different. Case in point…go watch clips of Pinocchio where Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio, and Geppetto are fleeing Monstro the Whale and compare them side by side with Hook’s interactions with the crocodile. One is portrayed as comedic while the other is an action scene where we feel like the characters are genuinely in danger…but realistically, the same thing is happening in both. (Side note… I was absolutely TERRIFIED of that scene in Pinocchio as a kid. I literally had nightmares about it…so maybe I just relate a little too hard to Hook’s reaction and that’s why I’m so defensive of him.)

Compared to certain other Hooks, Disney’s is rather…soft, high-strung, and prone to being emotional but…that’s actually what I like most about him. That said, there are absolutely moments when we are reminded that we should be afraid of him. Heck, he shoots a man dead in his first few minutes of screen time which is more than most villains do. During the scene in Skull Rock, he climbs up behind Peter and—if Wendy hadn’t warned him in time of Hook’s approach—would have sunk the claw in through Peter’s eye socket. Not to mention the fact that he threatens Tiger Lily’s life and afterlife, sends a bomb to a child, and would have gladly allowed every single one of the Lost Boys and Darlings to walk off the plank to drown when they wouldn’t sign on with his crew. We also have him mention in passing “boiling in oil…keelhauling…marooning…” which would seem to imply that these are things he has done before and is willing to do again. In Return to Neverland we arguably have some even scarier moments on-screen. That final showdown with Jane…there are moments where you can see the murder in his eyes. He nearly lops off Jane’s hand at one point and then immediately attempts to run her through with his sword when that fails. A few seconds too late and she would have been a goner. In those moments, we are reminded of exactly what Hook is capable of and why the children should be afraid of him.

Disney’s Hook is, I think, a good mixture of scary and sympathetic; humorous and heavy…and that’s why he’s my favorite Hook. He’s very human and it makes him a lot of fun to play around with as a writer.

To answer your second question regarding Hook’s opulence…I tend to prefer my Hooks to be somewhere in the middle—wealthy but not totally impractical. If you go back through the series I did looking at versions of the Jolly Roger in different Peter Pan media and what we could learn about that particular Hook from his ship, Disney and Isaacs come out as two of the “middle ground” Hooks who I would label as well-off (unlike Jude Law’s Hook, who seems more like any other average sailor in terms of his wealth) but not rich to the point of impractical extravagance (like Hoffman’s Hook).

[acermp100]

WAWA WEEK 5: DAWN OF THE WAWA

29/3 – Spring/nature: HOUSE PLANTS

Oh hey there's a nature prompt and I have a fav side character and love researching and taking care of plants *THROWS MINEGISHI AT YOU*

Serizawa wants to buy some house plants

General Audiences. Mild cursing. Minegishi and plants and some slight bouts of retail inspired nihilism. AND MORE SERI/REI SILLIES AT THE END. GEE.

~2200 words

--------------------------------------

The day had gone slow. Well, actually the entire week. No more school socials or holidays on either side of the calendar left only a few wandering by and even less deciding to come in. They’d look, they’d chat, they didn’t buy anything, they’d leave. Minegishi never really saw the point to it all but it did give him plenty of time to catch up on his reading. How interesting that the morel mushroom, famous for its taste and rarity, could grow in such a way it poisoned those who eat it. And we don’t even understand how it happens. Or maybe people had misidentified in their foraging.

The little bell over the door broke him out of his day dreaming. Oh joy, another bored employee ambling in during lunch for some vapid small talk. Wait, is that-

“Oh, hello!” A little bow punctuated the greeting. “I had heard you were working here but never had time to stop by.”

“Serizawa?” Minegishi set his book down. It was him, just with a suit and tie, a little brief case, and a new hair cut. And way more under the surface. “You look- a bit different since we last spoke.”

“Yeah- It’s been a while.” His voice trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Everything out here doesn’t even come close to Claw.” He jerked, standing up straight again. “I mean- that doesn’t mean I miss it! Just things changed. For the better though!”

“Don’t worry.” Minegishi almost cracked a grin, standing there with his dirt stained apron and classic retail worker expression. “I get it.”

Serizawa began looking around with wide eyes at the assortment of plants, flowers, and succulents. Minegishi had organized the small space over the past few days: fragile and colorful arrangements filled the shelves at his back with the opposite wall starting with little holders for individual flowers leading to small house plants. At the end was a refrigerator containing finished orders to be picked up surrounded by a large variety of more mature potted plants, some reaching to the ceiling.

Still so innocent. Minegishi wished he could feel such joy again, experience things for the first time with an open mind unstained by nihilism. At least Claw hadn’t taking that from Serizawa as it had him. Though another look at those cheerful eyes made him wonder if it was all just a mask.

“So, what brings you in?” Minegishi got up from his stool, actually interested in some small talk for once. “Have something in mind?”

“Oh! Um.” Serizawa shook his head, still trying to take everything in. “I was thinking a house plant. Something small for my apartment.” He gestured at the several on the shelves. “Maybe two?”

Walking over from behind the counter, Minegishi went over all the species in his head, organizing them in terms of ease of care, size, and light requirements. He ended with a turn of his head, looking up at his ex-coworker.

“Do you have any pets?”

“No.” Serizawa frowned. “Well, not yet. I wanted to get a cat but a few weeks ago I took care of Shou’s hamsters while he went on a trip with his mom.” And back to the unassuming smile. “That alone was too much! What with my job and taking night classes.”

“Mmm. I see.” Minegishi adjusted some of the pots. “Plants are easier to care for, however, that doesn’t mean you can just leave them alone and they’ll be fine.” Taking one of ferns he began to prune some of the dead leaves off the bottom. “Some need more light in the winter, or less water, most want food when developing flowers. You need to be aware of their needs or they will wilt and die.”

Serizawa nodded along, a serious look on his face. “I, well- I did a bit of research online. There’s a few spots where the windows let in light.” He glanced around the store a bit confused. “What do you mean food? Do I need to get like bags of fertilizer?”

Minegishi blinked once before crossing his arms, resisting the urge to bring a hand up to his face. “Serizawa.” He watched the man stand to attention. “Is your only experience with plants watching me in the greenhouse back at Claw?”

“I guess so?” Embarrassed fingers went through Serizawa’s hair. “I didn’t really have much time to properly learn about this. Just-“ He let out a sigh. “My boss, you know, Reigen Arataka? He’s stayed at my place a few times and made a comment how I should liven up the apartment. That it helps with morale and such. And he mentioned plants and something about air purification? We have a few plants at the office, so I thought I’d start small.”

Minegishi listened to the full vent, leaving a pause in case there happened to be more. “Alright. I understand now.” He turned and walked toward the back of the store. “Follow me.”

He lead Serizawa through a door to the closed off area even further into the shop. The taller man had to duck a bit under the shorter overhang. Light shone in though a crude set up of glass windows and tarps- Half of the back wall had been sacrificed to form a resemblance of a green house. Most of the sun failed to enter and so grow lamps were required, each hanging down off of wires over wooden planters all filled with an assortment of budding leaves and flowers. In the corner sat a darker patch filled with covered pots lined up in a row. All around lay buckets and bags of dirt along with hand shovels and twine.

Serizawa nearly hit his head on one of the lamps. He decided staying still was the best option now, nervously fidgeting with his fingers. 

“Relax. Nature is supposed to be soothing.”Minegishi caught a look from Serizawa and shrugged his shoulders. “Ok. Point taken. I don’t do that anymore.”

“Right.” Serizawa took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, growing far calmer. “So, is this where you grow the plants?”

“Some of them.” Minegishi paced, scanning each pot making sure all was in line. “Most flowers are shipped in from larger green houses and farms.” He stopped in front of a dozen or so pots separated from the others. “But I’ve been growing most of the houseplants here from cuttings and seeds.”

“They are so tiny. Cute.” Serizawa hovered behind Minegishi.  

“I suppose so.”

Holding out a hand, Minegishi closed his eyes and tried to focus. It wasn’t out of the need to actually manipulate the plants but to temper his powers so he wouldn’t cause harm.

“Woah.”

Each vascular sheath, every drop of water, every cell he could feel from the tip of the leaves down along the roots. Just a nudge and they harmonized with his aura. Little seedlings doubled in size, unfurling new leaves with some branching out as they grew taller. In the end the once near empty pots now hosted a variety of foliage from green to the dappled red and purple mixed with nearly emerging flowers.

Serizawa gasped. “That’s amazing!” Walking right up, he reached out to touch one of the plants but held back, still admiring the change and explosion of colors. “I’ve never seen leaves like this before.”

“That’s Codiaeum variegatum.” Minegishi didn’t wait for the expected confused silence. “Common name would be Croton. They come in several colors but I prefer the strong green with the red and yellow outlines.” He picked up a small watering can and started to tend to each pot. “You can put that one in front the window you mentioned and it will be fine.”

“Wait, you’re giving me this?” A pause, Serizawa still distracted. “I mean, I’m buying it?”

Without looking up from his work, Minegishi stopped at another pot. “Yes. It should be easy for you.” He flicked his gaze over his shoulder. “Just don’t over water: make sure the soil is dry before doing anything.”

At this point, Serizawa had taken out a note pad and was scribbling down details.

“And you will get this one as well.” The watering can was set down. Minegishi stood over sprawling plant with wide but long leaves. “It’s a Peace Lilly. Very comfortable in shade and tolerant of most indoor areas.” He set the pot off to side with the other. “See if you can keep it happy enough for it to flower.” In the end he was leaning against one of the planters, wiping dirt from his hands onto his apron. “Then you can come back and I can see what else would be suitable for you.”  

“Th- thank you!” Serizawa took one of Minegishi’s hands and less gave it a shake and more pulled at it for an awkward hug. “Um- I wrote down everything you said so I promise I will do my best.”

“Right.” Minegishi stood frozen, almost forgetting how personal his ex-coworker could be. “Let’s get these to the front and I’ll get your order processed.”

A few dings and a receipt print later and Serizawa was now a proud plant owner.

“What’s your address?” Minegishi looked up from the counter still writing down details. “I need it for the delivery.”

“Delivery?” Serizawa waved a hand. “You don’t have to do that, it’s fine.”

“Yeah. And you are gonna have a hard time carrying two pots filled with dirt and plants down to the train stop then home.”

“Oh.” Serizawa thought for a moment, having not even considered this. “I am returning to the office first. I guess you’re right.”

They finished getting all the information ready. Minegishi placed the pots in the corner for delivery after closing. He returned with a brilliant selection of flowers tied into a bouquet: white lilies mixed with roses both pink and red, opting out of the over used baby’s breath for the more enticing filler of dried lavender.

“Here.” He handed it over. “This is on the house.”

Serizawa took the delicate bundle in reverence. “They are so lovely. I don’t know where I’ll put these though.”

“Well, I thought you might need them.”

“For what?” Serizawa looked back with genuine confusion.

A long sigh. Why did he expect such blatant signs to even be read? Minegishi put his elbows onto the counter and leaned down, resting his head in a hand.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Well, the office could use come color.” Serizawa beamed. “So thank you! For everything.”

“Sure thing.”

Minegishi waved after the man, sincerely hoping things went well. The store returned to its empty state and he wandered into the back to start his research into fungus.

-----

Lunch break had long passed. Reigen Arataka sat at his desk, fingers steepled and eyes staring ahead, their focus avoiding what they truly wanted to look at. In front of him sat a cheap vase he had found in one of the drawers that now contained a vibrant mixture of sweet smelling flowers.

Serizawa sat happily working away at his desk.

What did this mean. How could he act so nonchalant. Bringing such an expensive bouquet like it was any other day of the week.

‘These will help bring color to the office!’

Yeah. Ok. Sure. He is just SITTING THERE what do I even do. Should I get him something back? Maybe chocolates? Or is that too brash. I mean it’s still less brash than ROSES. Is this because of the last movie night, us sitting on his couch together sharing popcorn.

Ugh. No. Stop thinking so much into this. Just get up and walk over there. Say some things. Don’t know what yet.

“Reigen-san, are you alright?”

Reigen jolted up, his back now straight. “FINE! Perfectly fine. Just lost in thought is all.” He waved a hand at his desk. “Coming up with new advertisement ideas for the business.”

“Oh. Alright.” HOW DID HE HAVE SUCH A CUTE SMILE. “Well you missed two phone calls. I thought maybe something had happened.”

“Ah, worry not!” Reigen fumbled, leaning back in his chair as it squeaked. “They were just spam calls.”

Serizawa gave a nod and returned to his papers. Taking an inhale and holding it, Reigen stared at the flowers. Maybe sleep on it. Take some time to understand the meaning behind it all. Too late. He rose to unsteady legs, mouth opening before his brain could catch up.

“Say, wanna hang out at the end of the week? Maybe I can come over again and watch movies.”

Serizawa beamed back. “Sure! I only have one class Friday night so I will be home probably around 6pm. How does that sound?”

Fuck fuck fuck. “Perfect.”

“Good! I can show you my new plants!”

Reigen blinked a few times and his train of thought never managed to get back on the rails for the rest of the work day.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Rough Enough for Love

“So, let me get this straight,” Crowley said, dragging that r a little for best effect. “Your librarian asks for an escort, and the first person you think of is me?” When tabloid reporter Anthony Crowley gets roped into posing as the loving partner of their intern’s fussy librarian friend for an infernal wedding in the country, he has an inkling that he won’t come out of that little spot of bother unscathed. There is more to Aziraphale than meets the eye, and soon Crowley will discover that relationships are not for the faint of heart.

Length: 403,339 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: After Dark, Not Safe in Public, Taking Breaks, Human AU

Triggers: Abusive Family

Read it here, fic by Nekhen

*Minor Spoilers* This story starts out as your classic fake boyfriend story. Aziraphale is a closed off University librarian faced with his sister Michael’s upcoming wedding, and his friend Anathema takes it upon herself to figure out how to make the experience better for her friend. Which is of course how her coworker at a shitty tabloid newspaper, Crowley, comes into play. This will hit on some tried and true tropes: misunderstandings, nervous to be loved Crowley, abusive family dynamics. But takes many turns I was not expecting.

What this story really is about is Aziraphale and Crowley settling into their new relationship as a gentle dom/sub. By the tags, I assumed it would be a minor plot point, but really makes up the bulk of the story. After their weekend as a pretend couple, the plot slightly goes away and morphs into an exploration of their relationship dynamics. Learning to be loved, desired, owned. It mostly becomes a smut fest, but in a way I personally was never bored of. For me, smut has the tendency to become a little cringe. Especially dirty talk. This did not do that for me. I loved the dynamic, and I loved the gentleness of their scenes. Neither of them are interested in pain or humiliation. It’s dominating but more like worship, not punishing. They are truly both getting a lot out of the experience. I particularly liked Aziraphale's explanation of terms and how he isn't inexperienced. His backstory to the scene was a great plot point. I also love how the dom/sub dynamics are present very early on, I think it’s very true to their characters. Aziraphale taking control, and Crowley willingly following even with minor things like their meals together. It's a major topic and there's some struggles knowing that they slipped into this kind of relationship without intending to. But I love that it's another way of showing how they were made for each other.

A couple minor critiques, I could have used more time with Aziraphale's family more than just Gabriel. The other siblings really don't make a lot of appearances. They're just kind of there for a bit. I would be interested in seeing a remixed version of this story with the fake relationship in the middle of Aziraphale and Crowley's journey rather than the beginning. I thought it was going to be the main plot, but it happens fairly early considering the word count. That section is so GOOD. There was tons to explore there, and it was my favorite part of the story. But we don't stay long, and we don't go back. Do NOT take that as me being unhappy with the rest of it. I just think a reappearance towards the final act would have been *chefs kiss*. Also very very minorly, I would have liked to see more of Crowley’s job. A tabloid reporter is interesting, but it's kind of just a job.

This was a satisfying, long, steamy read. Not something you want to be reading on your phone at work! I read this in one sitting but I think once you get past the wedding, this one is a great one to take breaks from and read slowly. Perfect when you’re in the mood for something dirty but still gentle. Not too much angst, but not a fluff fest either.

Read it here, fic by Nekhen

[gowoelfinneniguess]

The Best (or Worst) Pick-up Lines

Pia: Okay, I’ll start. Are you ready?

Feli: Yes

Pia: I have a pen and I’m looking for a phone number. Imagine all the possibilities

Feli: Can you look me in the eyes next time? So that I can really feel it. Can you repeat it?

Pia: Yeah okay. You gotta open your eyes if you want eye contact though! I have a pen, you have a phone number. Just imagine all the possibilities!

Feli: Wow

Pia: Would you give me your number after that?

Feli: Nah, and I wouldn’t give you a pen either

Pia: You’re supposed to read it right away!

Feli: Hey sweet pastry, are you looking for a filling?

Feli: I’m just getting ready emotionally

Pia: I’m just gonna read it aloud, it’s a long one.

Feli: Imagine you’re at a bar and you meet someone and you’re like “let me just get my paper…”

Pia: Excuse me, my friend over there is a little shy. He would like to know your phone number so he’ll know where to reach me tomorrow morning.

Feli: That’s so bad.

Feli: Okay, wow. That’s quite the essay. I can’t look into your eyes for that.

Pia: I will feel it anyway.

Feli: Can I borrow your phone for a second? I have to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.

Pia: Wait, is there more?

Feli: No. I just wanted to state that this was the worst one yet.

Feli: I’m hanging onto your every word

Pia: I’m with the TÜV [car safety agency], can I inspect your honkers?

Feli: We heard that from Jo once, cause she’s always at the TÜV (???). Jo Wedemeyer–it’s an inside joke.

Pia: Oh god. I haven’t recovered yet, but it’s okay, go on.

Pia: Are you gonna fall to your knees?

Feli: No, just stay there. Wait, what was it again?

Pia: Should I hold it up?

Feli: Hey, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk in one more time?

Pia: You could go on Bauer sucht Frau with that *banter about reality tv* it was great acting.

Feli: Thank you.

Pia: Is your name Google? Because you’re everything I’ve ever looked for.

Feli: For your bachelor or for your master’s thesis? Eh, that one’s okay.

Pia: Of course there are many other search engines.

Feli: This one’s nice: I’m so bad in bed you have to experience it to believe it

Both: Okay…well…yeah…you can…yeah...

Pia: Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?

Feli: Yeees, there it is! Nah, it was alright actually.

Feli: Mind telling me your name?

Pia: Pia

Feli: I need it for- I need it for my Chris- nah. I’ll start over! Mind telling me your name?

Pia: Pia

Feli: Pia. That takes me out of it a little bit.

Pia: I’ll stop.

Feli: Mind telling me your name? Not Pia! I have to write it down on my list for Santa.

Pia: Wow, that took three attempts.

Feli: I can’t concentrate anymore.

Pia: If you were a potato, you would be a sweet potato

Both: That one’s cute!

Feli: From Edeka. Oh no, this is not an ad!

Pia: Definitely organic.

Feli: Are your legs not tired? You’ve been walking through my head all night [=you’ve been on my mind]

Pia: How many steps?

Feli: At least 10,000.

Pia: If you’re here, who’s up in heaven playing the harp?

Feli: Ukulele

Pia: I’ll sing

Feli: But you already said I fell from the sky

Pia: Yeah, you’re here, and who’s playing ther harp up there?

Feli: I see, you’re right.

Feli: Well, that’s a classic: did you park in the wrong spot? Because I’m here to tow you [to tow, “abschleppen” is slang for taking someone home]

Pia: Oh god.

Feli: Boring.

Pia: Do you think any of these work?

Feli: I think so, yes. Write it down in the comments if any of you have found the love of your life this way.

Pia: That would be interesting.

Feli: I don’t know of anyone.

Pia: Me neither. They don't work on me either!

Pia: When god made you he was definitely showing off.

Feli: Nobody has ever told me that!

Pia: Last one?

Feli: If you were a president, you would be BABE-raham Lincoln. Uh-huh. Well.

Pia: Which one’s your favourite? I know mine.

Feli: You know yours?

Pia: Of mine. I can’t remember all of yours.

Feli: Tell me please

Pia: “I’m with the TÜV, can I inspect your honkers” that one’s hilarious

Feli: YOU MAY NOT but yes that’s a good one. I liked number five. “I’m so bad in bed you have to experience it to believe it”. It’s a little self deprecating. That’s pretty cute.

Pia: The one I would most likely use is the sweet potato

Feli: Use?! I would only ever use the headline: "Valentine’s Day pick up lines, intern, common," And that’s going in the video.

Pia: Thank you for listening. Have a nice Valentine’s Day!

Feli: To you and your loved ones

Pia: The ones you don’t need to pick up anymore

[tawneybel]

WRITING A COHERENT REVIEW OF SKINAMARINK IS HARD.

Song of the day: “Jack-o’-Lantern-Man” by the Bravery. 

Tomorrow’s my birthday. I’m going out to get vaxxed, then get brunch and dinner. I’m slowly redecorating my room, so I got some posters but won’t unwrap them until tomorrow. Also bought more winter clothes. Wearing black jeans rn. The first jeans I’ve worn in years. I don’t usually like wearing pants lol. 

Finally saw Skinamarink. Expectations were met. It blew me away. Like, an entire essay could be written on why I liked it so much. Watch it if you value aesthetics over plot in film. I do. 

At least when it comes to horror movies. I tend to watch horror and read (murder) mystery. Not so much the other way around. Whereas mysteries are plot-driven, horror media can either rely on plot or visuals/descriptions and be enthralling.

One problem I have with a lot of films is their cinematography. It often seems to take a backseat to plot, dialogue, and score/soundtrack. Which is why I love aestheticism. Well, that and symbolism. Deeper meanings are great, too.

I adore all the fan theories Skinamarinkers (?) are coming up with. Normally, “he’s in a coma” fanons bore me. But the dad said Kevin bumped his head, then the rest of Skinamarink is basically a hundred minutes of nursery nightmares. Faces aren’t shown properly.

MAKE SURE TO WATCH WITH SUBTITLES. (Unfortunately, the director’s commentary doesn’t have those.) AND THE SHORT PROOF OF CONCEPT HECK BEFOREHAND. It’s on YouTube. If you like it, you’ll like Skinamarink. Also, it unnerved me a bit more.  

Skinamarink made me feel so many things. Excitement. Nostalgia. Sympathy. Nostalgia. Fear. Well, mostly just fear when the phone got those toony eyes. There are a couple jump scares, but the movie’s more about slowly mounting dread. Plus making viewers pity the protagonists.

I feel like I’m super biased towards Skinamarink because it taps into my nostalgia. The amount of media it makes me want to reminisce about... All those “child(ren) up against a bogeyman” stories.

Those parallels between the classic cartoons and what the Voice in the Dark does to Kaylee and Kevin. The same Fisher-Price toy phone we had. Classic cartoons that were on either VHS or LaserDisc, watched in our snug basement. “The Cobweb Hotel” creeped me out so badly as a kid. At least I had my great-grandmother’s elephant figurines to watch over me. Dad’s cuckoo clock, too. 

The commentary mentions there are some anachronisms, like with the toys. Skinamarink takes place in 1995, but has that orange LEGO brick separator from 2011. Which just makes it more personally relatable to me.

My family’s always been practical, using things until they break. I have a DVD player that’ll turn twenty next year. So it wouldn’t surprise me if someone else has the VHS player somewhere. The only movies I remember watching on LaserDisc were The Wizard of Oz and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. But Oz is one of my all time faves and got watched a LOT. We had a bunch of obsolete or antique things and new things.

Going back to the toy phone… There was a Bruce Coville Magic Shop book that had a witch call the protagonist and her little brother on one. Jennifer Murdley’s Toad? And I’ve seen creepy art of Fisher-Price phones before.

Disclaimer: ED IS WRONG. CANADIANS NEED TO GET WEIRDER. I hope Skinamarink inspires people to make more weirdass movies.

[physics-of-one-piece]

Hiya! Just popping by to say I am in LOVE with this blog!!!!! It is SO MUCH FUN to read through your explanations and you’re incredible at dumbing it down just enough for us mortals to understand. I was never great nor really interested with anything physics or math related in my entire life haha but I’m honestly and unexpectedly having such a field day reading through your posts!

Thank you for creating this! Keep it up, I can’t wait to read on the next topic you’ll approach ✨

Thank you, anon! I'm happy to know you're enjoying the blog! I'm having fun doing this stuff!

Honestly, from an anime watcher, neither was I interested in doing calculations or physics-thinking. It never crossed my mind until recently. Blame Doflamingo. Or thank him. 🤣 I love him. He's my fluffy pink man.

One day a week ago now I woke up and was like thinking about Doflamingo's height or sth and I really wanted to just... JUST KNOW HOW BIG ARE THOSE LIMBS OF HIS, and I thought it might be fun to do some calculations! And it was! AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THE LENGTH OF HIS ARMS AND HANDS AND FINGERS, HELL YEAH!

@fanaticsnail was really encouraging, and so were everyone, so I gathered my guts and made this sideblog to keep my geeking limited to it.

After I did some calc, I was like "oooh, so that's how big Doflamingo's limbs are" or "oooh, so that's how much kinetic energy Luffy uses" and during the weekend I went into a bit of quantum physics for Law's ROOM and got a bit bored at one point bcs it's subatomic. I will say, the quantum physics theories & principles are fun. I'll expand on them when we cover Shambles & Takt. But calculating quantum formulas... No thank you. I'll be here with my classic physics, have a great day, sir.

It makes me very very happy to hear that I managed to make it understandable. 😊

I think while watching the anime you and me and everyone, we simply take it all in and enjoy it, and we don't think about things like math (ew, math, yuckie).

You know what we humans do do?

Many people see a mountain and say "whoa, that's big" and it usually ends on that unless we google how tall the mountain is. Scaling things is hard with our eyesight, we either recognise height as "giant, big, medium, small, tiny" bcs it's how we are. We don't need to know because we can recognise it by our eyes. Not the exact numbers, but we feel and understand the size of the mountain. We do have a sense of scale, we just don't put numbers to it at that moment.

Same for One Piece.

We know the characters are FAST, we know they're SUPER STRONG. It's anime, it's supposed to be fun, you're supposed to relax and enjoy it. We don't need to think too hard on it because we recognise deep in our guts these characters would wipe the floor with us within 0.000000001 seconds just as the villains do to the poor One Piece civilians.

Seriously, I feel so bad for the civilians of One Piece. The villains need to pick on someone their own size!

And then they get beaten by someone half their size, ah, irony.

Hmm, I hope I managed to convey what I mean...

I guess I'm the "how big are Doflamingo's hands" search option now. I'm the "how tall is Mt Everest" for the people who want to know a bit more, I guess, haha.

I'm just glad it's fun for everyone! 🎉

I've been working on what I will title Doflamingo's Day Trip To Punk Hazard ie analasys of how fast that flamingo man flew to that island. Only problem is knowing the distance he travelled. Once more, another day passes without the map of One Piece's world and another day I have to wing it.

Oh, well, Luffy set out to sail with one single plan "Enter the Grand Line, become the Pirate King." and he's doing pretty well.

Also, expect Fujitora, cus I fckn love gravity. Oh, and Sanji. I adore Sanji, I can't wait to post some stuff about him, too!

Thank you for the ask, sorry that I went on a bit of a long answer. 😅 Anyway, I'm happy you like the blog and are enjoying it!

Much love to you, anon ❤️

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Howdy! Same person who stayed anonymous so I wouldn't get harassed by fans here, and I have another thing to say.

People think that media like this may not have an outside influence on the world, but in reality it does. It may seem stupid, but the media portraying relationships like these as normal caused me to stay in an abusive relationship for two years. I apologize if it's oversharing, but I used to watch shows like this all the time when I was younger (Not sharing my age because then people will try to claim I have no idea what I'm talking about.) and this, paired with other personal events in my life, made me think that relationships like these were normal and healthy. Luckily, I now realize they aren't.

The glorification of bad characters who have little-to-no redeemable qualities or ways to justify what they did just because they're "hot" or "sexy" needs to stop. It causes people to glorify abuse and abusers. I used to be a major SPOP fan and, shamefully, a Catra simp, so I could keep going on about a LOT of stuff this show does, but I won't.

I, once again, apologize for oversharing and for how long this post is. Thank you for addressing all this in the show despite the criticism you're getting.

you don't need to apologize! i'm so sorry you had to go through that and i hope you're out of that relationship now. this is exactly what i've been saying. i can understand why some people may want to believe that c//a is a good ship, especially considering that this is one of the very few queer representation we have. it especially concerns me that kids watching this may take this as good representation, i've already seen posts saying stuff like "i want what they have" or "i want someone to look at me the way catra looks at adora".

the only reason i spotted the toxicity in the show early on is because i was also in a close (platonic) relationship with a person who was very much like catra, and i was in the process of figuring out that this isn't normal. i tried to get myself to root for catra, but i just couldn't. and it confused me that the fandom didn't see the problem with this show and instead acted like it was the biggest masterpiece to ever exist.

relationships in the media are rarely realistic, especially the enemies-to-lovers trope. it may look exciting in a story but it very rarely works out irl. more often that not, when it does work it, it ends up being an abusive relationship like c//a. but there are healthy fictional relationships that you can look up to, and those ships don't get the attention that these toxic ones do, because they are labelled as "vanilla" and "boring".

the point of this blog isn't to start unnecessary beef with the fandom or demonize the show. it is to help people understand the red flags in catra's and adora's relationship. when consuming a piece of media, it is always wise to be open-minded and critical, because even the best of the best can have flaws. it's the same as reading the classics while also acknowledging that they were a product of their time, and most likely had some problematic ideals embedded into them.

i think it's still okay to like catra as a character. i like a lot of villains myself, because they are complex or sympathetic or just plain fun to watch. but you need to still acknowledge that these are objectively bad people, regardless of their motives. i've seen a few catra fans who admit that catra's redemption was rushed and that they didn't like c//a either. i respect these types of fans a lot, because they are able to like a character without being blind to said character's flawed treatment.

anyway, if any of you want to see actually healthy relationships and good queer representation in media, i suggest shows such as The Owl House, The Legend of Korra, Infinity Train, The Dragon Prince, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, Steven Universe and Arcane. please don't settle for the toxic relationships. not only are they not good representation, but they are actively harmful for the community. it's time we stopped romanticizing abusive relationships just because they are angsty and have "sexual tension".

[reversecreek]

welcome to marina, WILLA DENEURVE ( woman, she/her ) ! they are a TWENTY-EIGHT year old who has lived on the island for TWO MONTHS. word on the street is they’re currently living in HYLAND PARK and works as an ACTRESS. everyone also says they look a lot like ASHLEY MOORE. what do you think?

PINTEREST

“Her voice was trained, supple as leather, precise as a knife-thrower’s blade. Singing or talking, it had the same graceful quality, and an accent I thought at first was English, but then realized was the old-fashioned American of a thirties movie, a person who could get away with saying “grand”. Too classic, they told her when she went out on auditions. It didn’t mean old. It meant too beautiful for the times.” — Janet Fitch, White Oleander.

HISTORY:

willa ws born to honestly like….. the perfect family not to honk my own tit bt……………. they were jst rly quite wholesome. her mum celeste was this larger than life person who could never b contained by the four walls of any room she was in. she hd the presence of a gold glitter chess piece on an otherwise mundane wooden board. her dad marlon used to always joke that he had absolutely NO idea how he landed her bc he was just this like. rly average guy by all accounts n purposes….. blended into the sea in high skl……. had a few close friends but was never rly Notable or made a proper impression anywhere…… he always retold it as him coasting thru life until he met her in college. kind of like he’d been half awake before

willa always very much took after celeste…… there’s this one quote i remember reading that goes vaguely like “my mom and i would sit and listen to leonard cohen and joni mitchell lyrics together. from a young age i remember her being like “i’m playing this song and when it’s done i want u to tell me what’s happening in it” n she would give me a fake glass of wine when i was 8 and i would listen and b like. i think there was an affair.” which so much summarises their dynamic…… she ws just so like. dramatic n fun n always encouraged that in willa too. her mum was like. everything she aspired to be…… got scouted by a modelling agency in college n shot one campaign before blowing it off simply bc she was bored. starred lead in a play. spent a few weeks travelling asia selling handmade candles shaped like koi fish or curled up foxes or elegantly stretched hands. dated a parisian movie star during a break she and her father took n was featured in tabloids on his arm at the premiere. sm fun n exotic stories willa literally cldn’t get enough. whenever she’d tell them to willa as a kid her dad wld roll his eyes like ohhhhh here she goes again but it’d all b playful n he’d smile bc he honestly cldn’t get enough either. the stuff dreams are made of luv (lizzie mcguire stans rise)

(car accident & death tw) so u know when ur walking down a flight of stairs n then out of nowhere u miss a step n u get that lurch in ur stomach like ur in free fall? yeah. i won’t go into it too much but one night they were driving back from getting frozen yogurt and then suddenly they weren’t. she doesn’t rly remember much about it except for completely ignoring the doctors trying to give her the news and just saying “dad chose pecan. who chooses pecan?” n repeating that over n over n over until it didn’t rly register in her ears as english any more.

willa was uprooted from marina at 11 to go n live w her aunt in NY. this was like. a huge adjustment honestly….. her aunt blanche hd always been a little unconventional bt extremely glamorous. she lived in an old defunct theatre she’d bought out n came from a lot of money. willa’s mum’s side of the family hd always been well off bt celeste opted to live a little more Ordinarily shall we say after settling whereas blanche ws jst balls to the walls dripping w eccentric excess…. wld say she was never naked bc she ws always wearing black opium by yves saint laurent…… probably the living embodiment of la vie boheme….. she’d been admitted a yr early to a rly prestigious parisian design school n is an AMAZING seamstress. a corset she stitched a broadway star into got commissioned fr an actress’ red carpet walk at an indie film festival. rly just lived such a life rich w lots of stories n lots of talent too…… had that star quality essence tht her mum had n that was smthn willa found quite comforting everything considered.

(grief tw) u would think maybe a situation like this (one involving so much sudden change) wld cause a kid of tht age to withdraw into her shell bt willa only came out of her shell MORE. she coped w her situation by spinning it into a celebrity origin story inside her head. the tear jerker tale someone tells during their x factor audition to get the judges rooting for them. mentally streamlining things. repackaging all that hurt as a surefire ticket to success bc it had to be useful for something right? there had to b a point to it right? willa decided the point was she’s a star. KFHSGKFHGFKHGKJSFHG. get it girl….. she ws literally just like ok well clearly i’m destined to be famous n i’m the main character of this story. this story called earth. it’s all about me.

rly heavily immersed herself in her high skl theatre scene……. loved experimenting w fashion n literally wore the most outlandish things like. she treated the hallways like her milan f/w debut every new school yr…… a lot of the things she wore were actual like. costumes frm her aunt’s collection…… she has a multi-story closet u have to climb ladders to reach things in like a very rustic library…. it rly wasn’t uncommon for willa to turn up one day corsetted like a pirate with billowing sleeves or sporting the baby blue gingham of a swedish milk maid. it’s like she literally jst…… became a role. always. every day. the world ws her stage. the cameras were always rolling. her aunt only encouraged this tbh n honestly? icon. we love to see it. willa partied a bunch n rly lived a lax lifestyle where responsibility was concerned…. her aunt ws her best friend…… made rly gd friends with performers in the drag club scene n loved the glitz of that….. lots of wild nights turned grossly bright mornings

snagged an agent fresh into her first yr of college (she gt accepted to a pretty competitive theatre program at [redacted] in NY bc i haven’t looked into what that wld be yet <3 i’m merely a helpless british lass <3) n booked a few commercials n things….. when i say willa wld enter audition rooms like she owned the place i’m rly not exaggerating…. once she turned up to a casting call for MEN n just walked right to the front of the line scraping a random chair along the way n then took a seat w her legs crossed popping a bubble in her gum as they all glared at her like wtf is literally going on who are u. she received several complaints n she was just like “ur all acting so jealous of me….”

i feel like she got a pretty big role in a theatre production in her last yr at school. haven’t decided what yet. maybe smthn rocky horror or even mimi in rent. this was meant to b some like huge moment for willa like yes girl finally making it ur on ur way this is what u wanted n she WAS happy abt it but once it was wrapped she jst had this strange like Huh feeling in her chest……. n a la celeste w all her exciting stories was just like well i’ve done that so what’s next?

SO basically i feel like she finally moved back to marina a few months ago n lives in the big empty house in hyland park tht used to belong to her parents. she inherited it n never sold it. it's kind of eerie n weird n like a giant frozen shrine. she hd a brief stint starring on a reality tv show beforehand where her dog gained a handful of fan accounts dedicated to him……. u maybe will see why in the first bullet point of her personality section………… FKGHKSHFGGKFSHKHG. honestly she ws received pretty well too (mostly bc she’s so fking dramatic n like a caricature of a person) bt it wasn’t anything to warrant actual Fame (despite what willa herself might think). she’s mostly jst like. chilling honestly. accepting scripts n flying out fr auditions still. she’ll nab the occasional part bt she’s looking for that One Thing that rly feels like her big moment….. otherwise i cn just imagine her treating marina like a little dollhouse compared to the roaring mansion of NYC n having fun playing around in it. strikes a pose w a hand on my hip…. and now to personality.

PERSONALITY:

got a very large n lithe greyhound n named him marlene dietrich bc she was a black n white hollywood starlet famously known for her affairs n “bedroom eyes”. willa was like ugh. icon status instantly. didn’t rly foresee the responsibilities tht came w owning a dog tht loves exercise n complains abt him being like “ugh he wants to run soooooooooo much 🙄 like where are u literally going”. having said tht loves him dearly n he can often be seen wearing little clothes. a baby’s bonnet. a quilted leather waistcoat. a custom dog boa. he’s very glamorous. willa calls him a gay icon despite no evidence to support this theory. she also says he can sniff out evil in ppl so she brings him sometimes when she’s first introduced to a friend’s new bf n if his nose quivers a certain way she’s like “marlene has spoken. it’s done”. her friends r like omg? what’s done? willa gets up n walks away without elaborating. marlene’s little paws clicking along the floor w attitude.

literally dressed as marie antoinette for her high skl prom even tho there was no theme pertaining to this. jst loves the spotlight. can fake cry and WILL to get out of a parking ticket or teach someone to watch their tone or even simply for the theatrics of it all. the Most dramatic………….. rly fits being an actress like when people find out what she does it’s very like oh that makes sense.

says she doesn’t get hangovers. she’s just like “i revoked that it doesn’t happen to me”. alludes tht this is bc she’s an all powerful deity that was Chosen to be Blessed bt really she’s jst great at bouncing back n acting fine even w a blistering headache. it’s about believing the performance so much that u even convince urself.

has an extremely elevated sense of self importance bc this is kind of the equivalent of several layers of bubble wrap to cushion her frm the world. strives to b extraordinary bc ordinary honestly feels like a death sentence n there’s nothing she’d want to b seen as less. despite this weight she puts on that she rly doesn’t tend to let ppl’s opinions affect fr the most part like she’s quite firmly set in this I’m Literally The Most Gorgeous And Beautiful Angel Star Creature To Walk This Narsty Little Earth view

probably an incredibly big fan of dramatic short lived love affairs. she wants the glamour of it all. the scandal. the randomly breaking up w someone in a public place n sliding on sunglasses after delivering the words over a freshly ordered coffee (tht she’ll leave without drinking bc that’s star power babey she waits fr no man or no hot beverage)…….. has no preference gets w any n all regardless of gender……… romanticises things so they hv a better spin or story in her head n doesn’t rly take things seriously like jst has fun in her fantasy world…. she’s like ugh chuck i know u wanted to marry me but i’m a beautiful bird in a cage n u literally need to undo the latch n set me free……. the guy’s like……. my name’s chase n we’ve only been on two dates….. willa’s like…… please don’t take this so hard i can tell ur besides urself but people r starting to stare……. gets up n leaves. no-one was staring. chase is confused n honestly probably semi concerned fr her welfare.

always has to b the hottest n most glamorous person in a grocery store…. probably goes to them when she doesn’t even need anything jst holding a basket nonchalantly over her forearm glancing over at a cashier in her wizard of oz corset seamed interpretation on a dorothy dress thinking he wants me soooo bad it’s not even funny….. seduces him over the check out counter jst for him to ask her to come back to his so she can lean back scandalised n cry “IS THAT THE KIND OF WOMAN U THINK I AM, PAUL?! YOU’RE A GHASTLY LITTLE MAN, YOU ARE….” with all the gusto of a telenovela. attracts the shocked glances of all surrounding elderly.

speaks fluent french. probably on her brief stint on tht reality show i mentioned earlier was like “ugh can you believe Deneurve of this guy?” n in her head was like this catchphrase is sensational it’ll catch on fast the twittersphere is abt to implode but it didn’t become a thing except for in a small isolated community. despite this she’s like “yeah it went viral….. go figure. just another day in the life.”

honestly like a lot of fun bt also a huge handful at the same time. keeps her real Serious emotions in a locked box bt is always overflowing w melodramatics n rly giving her all at the drop of a hat where Performing is concerned. probably Loves parties n sees them as another form of production in which she wants to b the lead. rly just. loves herself. except does she? 🤔 lifts my hand up like rihanna n winks. find out next time. lucky by britney plays as i slowly disintegrate in spiderman rp…..

[darkcrowprincess]

Oh my God ?! Are you team Jacob for Twilight ?! So then ! I have to say that I have nothing against the canon ships of this saga. (Yes even the very controversial Jacob & Renesme. I generally put my brain in off mode for that by telling myself that SM as a mother herself must not have thought about it very deeply) And I must say that I always been team Edward, even still technically today. But I'm no longer an enthusiast at all because the flaws in the story are now staring me in the face. And even if I'm not crazy about Jacob & Bella either and hated it when I was younger, I have to say that today I totally understand why we would love these two together. BUT ABOVE ALL ! Damn, I have a huge crush on Jacob in the second film... Like the actor, after gaining muscle, had a wow effect on me and I've always liked guys with beautiful, long, well-maintained hair. And Jacob was just magnificent in the second movie. Even his behavior towards Bella was adorable. Beyond that, I still say it today that if I had been Bella... Even if I am very fascinated by vampires... Damn I would have been with Jacob. Also... Damn the heat he must give off ! As a big chill person, this totally appeals to me ! And the wolf shape is so awesome and impressive ! When I watch the films again I admit I don't understand why Bella prefers to freeze to death with Edward. Also, I realized growing up that when Edward talks... I sometimes want to make him shut up because it can be so corny and annoying.

I am not a fan of twilight. I only read up to eclipse and stopped reading the books after that. I've seen the movies but mostly find them boring except the last two. Saying that, I do find the secondary characters and background characters more interesting than Bella and Exward. Everything is more interesting than Bella and Edward. I especially hate Bella. Book version of her more than anything. She is a very annoying, boring, selfish person. Just every thought in her head makes me want to slap her.

Twilight Vampires freak me out and are way too over powered. For the most part I don't like Stephanie Meyers. You can tell she is a Mormon white woman with how she writes. I do love Jacob and the werewolves though. Jacob in general is my sunshine boy and he deserves happiness and I hate Bella or leading him on. I feel so bad for his tribe and what these selfish Vampires constantly do to them and their land. I especially hate the books and movies for the bad reputation they give to classical novels and plays. Especially romeo and juliet. Twilight has nothing to do with romeo and juliet. And there are no parallels or comparisons between them. If Stephanie Meyers wanted to do that, the should have made Edward and Jacob fall love than if anything.

If I had to choose werewolves no question. Not only are they cute looking and badass. But they're warm and human still for the most part. Twilight Vampires are stone cold statues that are ment to look beautiful. They don't live. They don't sleep, they don't eat, sex would eventually get boring because their never tired, and any second now they can lose control from hunger of human blood and kill everyone, plus animal blood never satisfies them! So honestly what joy comes from being a vampire in this universe?! Bella is just so stupid for picking this life and Edward.

I had a huge crush on Taylor Launter as a kid. Had a poster of him on the wall of my bedroom ceiling. Though I also cried when him and Taylor Swift broke up and listened to 'Back to December' a million times.

Edward I find so boring too. Mostly I hate how he treats Bella more like a pet/child. While reading the books it annoyed me so much how he wouldn't fuck her or kiss her in a hot way. His romance with Bella and his reasons for holding back were stupid and boring. Though when he left in New Moon. I hated him. After everything they been through he's just going to abandon her just like that. Moron. The whole save your soul thing I did not understand because I wasn't really religious so I did not get it. Now though I still find it stupid and I'm constantly reminded that Stephanie is Mormon. The whole book I'm constantly reminded that Stephanie is a white female Mormon. She grew up as one and your constantly reminded of that in the book and it freaks me out.

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e21 reading is fundamental (w. ben edlund)

i recognize the name kevin tran but i have no clue who he is. another question soon to be answered. the cello playing not super obviously fake, good job everyone!

the classical music overplayed action dudes setting up gear and getting settled in dark and industrial setting, very reminiscent of... something. maybe it's a general action movie trope. but thinking of nessun dorma in the sum of all fears (one of my favorite usages of music in a movie). anyway. it's a vibe. and not one this show usually has. i like it

DEAN That sound like somebody saying, "No, wait – stop," to you? SAM Uh... Yeah. Yeah. DEAN Yeah. [shrugs] Oh, well.

all right then. did lightning daddy zap the kid some juice

meg livin it up

DEAN So, what? We start the storm heard 'round the world?

maybe i'm just sad but, oof. this better not be something to feel guilty about again

same, sam, same.

DEAN All right, so big daddy chomper lands here, he grabs himself some Dick…

they're really ramming the Dick jokes down our throats

DEAN Rufus' cabin, then? SAM Yeah. DEAN This time, I'm doing the shopping.

thank you for all the little domestic moments lately, show

literally busted out laughing. got the sad, sad trench back on. staring out the window. is it raining?

are dean and sam both forgiving and forgetting cas?

CASTIEL Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful. MEG We've been over this. I don't like poetry. Put up or shut up.

i'm with sam. okay.

CASTIEL If someone was going to free the Word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two. Oh, I love you guys. DEAN Oh. Uck. Okay. All right. Okay.

laughing at the transcription but he totally said uck

this sam confusion over megatron/metatron thing is making me laugh but it's so ridiculous. speaking of ridiculous, leaving the word of god on the floor to go bicker with meg, sam. he knows better, c'mon

MEG We both call, who do you think Cas will come to? I'm guessing me. You heard him – thorny beauty, blah, blah. I'm the saint who stayed with him. He owes me. His words. SAM Yeah, what about what he owes us? MEG Well, work on him a little. Maybe he'll start crushing on you, too, hot stuff.

this kind of feels like ruby 2.0, what they're doing with meg

DEAN No, I want you to button up your coat and help us take down Leviathans. Do you remember what you did?

CASTIEL We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? But these are the rules. I didn't make them. DEAN You made some of them. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall.

tell him, dean

FEMALE ANGEL A demon whore and a Winchester… again.

okay addressing the ruby of it all out loud

SAM Meg, where did you get that? MEG A lot of angels died this year.

that was a good one

KEVIN So, these Leviathans – these monsters are real. And angels with wings? SAM No. Uh... no wings. No anything. DEAN No junk. Junkless.

okay.

COMMERCIAL We know you're hungry. Why not enjoy Biggerson's homemade pie bar? It's like a salad bar but with pie.

i'm there

awkward family road trips

CASTIEL We were assigned to watch the earth. Often, it was boring. The wars were very boring and the sex – you know, the repetition.

okay again

KEVIN This looks like a sex-torture dungeon. Is this a sex-torture dungeon? DEAN picks up a scythe. DEAN No, this is not a sex-torture...

this is some episode

CASTIEL (to sam) You seem troubled. Of course, that's a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.

don't hold back, cas

CASTIEL The weight of all my mistakes, all those lives and souls lost, I... I couldn't take it, either. I was… I was lost until I took on your pain. It's strange to think that that helped, but – SAM I know you never did anything but try to help. I realize that, Cas, and I'm grateful. We're all grateful. And we're gonna help you get better, okay? No matter what it takes.

schmoopy music and all, looks like we are forgiving and forgetting

DEAN Oh, I don't know, man. What can I say? You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking "why me?" 'Cause the angels – they don't care. I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart.

can't get mad at a shark for being a shark?

SAM Here. “Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen.” Uh... It says we need to start with the blood of a fallen angel. CASTIEL Well, you know me. [He holds out a small bottle.] I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.

mmmk

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No fr it’s funny because even Ego says that like “you guys live in the comfort of Japan where you’ll never worry about surviving” so good that bllk is self aware but I agree the stakes in the beginning fr felt a bit intense which was refreshing!! Yeah im still a little irked about himizus backstory too like that could’ve been a gorgeous karasu panel instead but NOPE wtv also makes me a little sad that we won’t see karasus backstory animated since its in epinagi

HAHA its funny when you remember he has a second lead role in one of your reqs he will not get his happy ending quite yet it seems LMAOO but also I JUST SAW we literally called it yuki and Karasu certified gentlemen FRRR yayoi knew what she was doing!! I bet it’s also because granny Karasu lives with them too so he’s constantly surrounded by older women and learning to respect them! No because what am I supposed to do with the info in hioris profile he what?????? Hospitalized y/n era next /j I’m crying it just has me imagining like does that include like a whole ass full body cast where you can’t even see the person but yeah anyways and we all thought Karasu was the weird one for commenting on his leg this is a different level of freak

I’m convinced otoya is the animators’ fave because he looks so good?? Like they make him so majestic too I see so many edits of him trust yuki and nagi will get their moment when we see their match!! Very excited to see all the clips from there! Some scenes of Shidou are actually INSANE did you watch through the ep? Towards the end they have pics of the top 6 and when I tell you I fr got jumpscared by Shidou but I also could not care less like yesss save the budget for Karasu pls!!!

FR like how are they even connected…actually ik a lot of people ship megumi and sukuna because of sukunas plan for megumi and how he didn’t let him die etc but Karasu is wild…maybe someone mistook megumi for Karasu and went to town with it idk LMAO

IM CRYING THE STOCK PHOTO thats fr me whenever i have to be productive im crying well at least the sufferings over now!!! You made it!! LMAOO wait im kinda excited for when you have to get to the Isagi req too not just to read but to hear your commentary as you write LMAOAOA I love the classic Mira foreshadowing hint drops i like picking them out and being like “oh yk someone’s dying” or something LOL

AGAIN WITH THE HISTORICAL REFERENCE your research game is too strong but I loved the story overall I mean you know I’m not a Kaiser fan either LMAO but I certainly didn’t mind reading that!! Another win in my book wait again the Kunigami cameo LMAOOOO fr had me like “omg what are YOU doing here??” LOL

Wait your process for making the layout already sounds complicated to me LMAO ibis paint is fr pretty insane though for a free app!!

That panel is so good speaking of I can’t wait to see that animated too omg

LMAOAOAOA you are correct in fact those two edits actually made it to my fyp which was pleasantly surprising but YEAHHHHHH THAT KARASU SCENE CHEFS KISS he looks so good and LMAOOO the “mama a girl behind you” audio is so funny and it works perfectly with otoya being sneaky

- Karasu anon

LMAOO ego calling them out will always be funny to me like bro was not playing around 😭 but agreed it added a bit of self awareness to the show!! and yeah…idk why we needed an entire focus on himizu when we know he’s irrelevant moving forward…just another example of how bllk ends up on focusing on too many characters and spreading itself too thin 😫 it was a perfect chance to expand on karasu and/or kiyora who are both playing in the current match 🙁 but maybe i’m biased because i want more karasu i’m sure the two himizu fans out there were happy abt it

HFJDJSS KUNIGAMI FOREVER SUFFERING at least he’s entering the miraverse though…maybe one day he’ll debut in full probably not though because alongside being ginger he’s also kinda boring i fear 😭 perhaps if the wildcard backstory makes him rlly fascinating i’ll change my mind but idk…ANYWAYS YESSSS YUKI AND KARASU MY GLORIOUS KINGS also i think it’s funny that the rankings are voted by other blue lock characters and karasu’s constantly an asshole to like all of them?? yet they still voted him as the number two gentleman KDCNDJS bro has no enemies fr i love him 🥹 HAHAHA PLSSSS ngl the more i learn abt hiori with his ln and now his profile the more i’m like nah karasu is JUSTIFIED in fucking around with him LMAOAOA everyone thinking he’s the weird one when he’s just a slightly sassy guy who likes to say goofy stuff to his friends meanwhile hiori is like actually lowkey a freak 😰

SHIDOU CONSISTENTLY JUMPSCARING HE’S SO GOOFY I CAN’T 😭 pls i just know they’re going to do yuki and nagi so well in the next episode they show up in…okay but i saw a panel of manga karasu and i was fr like 😫 as glorious as he is animated he fr hits diff in the manga for some reason JSDHSJSJ anyways yeah they’re really eating it up with the otoya scenes ngl good for them otoya would be proud

yeahhh i think that’s why it’s such a popular ship!! since sukuna was all like “megumi absolutely cannot die” ofc we know that wasn’t romantic but when you’re a shipper anything works ig 🙂‍↕️ my only thought is someone who ships sukuna and megumi together started bllk and put the pieces together and created the rare pair of the century

I LOVEEE THAT PHOTO a guy sent it to a gc i was in whenever he had to do computer science hw and i IMMEDIATELY saved i think it’s hilarious 😭 literally me seeing all of my sae requests and zero nagi ones 😔 but YESSSS I’M FREE FROM KAISER AT LEAST not sure what i’m going to work on next but we’ll see!! hopefully it won’t take as long as that did to come out 😫

HISTORICAL REFERENCES ALWAYS #trust LMAAOOA yeah i don’t love kaiser as you know but he is fun to write abt sometimes he’s more on the karasu end of things where he lends himself to more plots…HELP i was thinking of leaving the guard anonymous but then i was like nah let me let kunigami get his first name drop KDJDJDDHJS anyways fun fact in the very first scene when reader takes kunigami to the art gallery and they leave the other guard to watch over her father the other guard is meant to be barou!! also if she didn’t get sick and meet kaiser/literally die she probably would’ve ended up marrying kunigami 🙁

SPEAKING OF HISTORICAL REFERENCES…rin said his fav historical figure is oda nobunaga apparently??? aka the person hollyhock y/n is based on 😭 rin is a hollyhock y/n stan wait imagine we were joking abt what it would be like if hollyhock characters met their bllk selves but imagine RIN meeting hollyhock y/n he’d genuinely glaze her i fear 😰 probably hollyhock karasu too since he’s also one of the three unifiers 😜 probably feels bad they got reincarnated into such “lukewarm” modern time equivalents

yeahhh ibis paint x fr goes hard i love it!! and it’s not too bad DJFHDJ the hardest part is picking what panel i want to use 😭 it wasn’t hard for kaiser because he doesn’t have that many panels with the long gold hair which is what i imagined him having while as an actual angel but i’m sure i’ll start to run out of sae panels at some point HAHAHA

UGH barou goal animated is going to be so good they always do him and his goals SO well i have full entire faith that he’s going to look amazing…barou my handsome amazing boyfriend…I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE KARASU SPAWNING INTO EVERY CELEBRATION TOO he’s literally in ALL of them (except nagi’s i think that’s just his fist pump and then we see isagi and chigiri running towards him) IT’S SO FUNNY LIKE BRO IS IN THE MIDFIELD WHERE DOES HE EVEN COME FROM 😭

THAT KARASU SCENE IS SOOOOO ugh he carried the episode i’m trying not to rewatch because i plan on rewatching all of s2 at once after it’s all out but it’s so tempting i want to see him again 😫 and the mama a girl behind you audio for otoya CRACKS ME UP it’s so him also wait lowkey is it just me or does otoya kinda look like rin 😭 maybe it’s the hair idk they’re kinda giving twin