#the city still knows like nothing abt it. it’s a little upsetting

[jack-kellys]

today i am going to take the train to the exact point in central park where michael ahomka-lindsay headcanoned jack’s family grew up. and no one can stop me

[glitchydyke]

WAIT OMG only seeing your tags on that thing now !!!!! TELL ME ABT CHAT NOIR IF YOU WANT i don't actually know anything abt him and i heart characters who act like me GDGFHFFJFJFJ ALSO HI

HIIII MARS OKAY SO. what you need to know abt chat noir is. he’s silly. at his base at his core at the fundamentals of who he is as a person. hes a silly guy. this is integral to him. he also has the most fucking issues you will ever know of in your life <333

he grew up as a sheltered rich kid, only really knowing his parents and the people that worked in their house. and then his mum died (well. ‘died’. dw abt it) and he was left w just his dad and his house,, kind of became a prison. his entire life he’s known nothing except his parents and then one of them is gone and the other is so distant he barely knows him at all. he’s also made to be a model for his dad’s company, which he… both doesn’t enjoy and does? it’s bittersweet. he likes feeling useful, feeling needed, but also his face is all over paris and there’s people telling them they love him when they don’t even know him and never will. he’s a kid and he’s the most famous person in france. he’s beloved by the world and he’s spoken to maybe ten people in his life. he doesn’t know who he is. and then eventually he convinces his dad to let him go to school, and he’s so excited because finally, this is a chance to be a person. he’s never been a person before. it’s a rocky start, he makes some friends and he makes some enemies. and he doesn’t really know how to deal with that. everyone likes him. he’s the perfect child. he’s the face of paris. how do you deal with someone not liking you when that’s all you’ve ever strived for in your entire life? how do you enjoy the first freedom you’ve ever had in your life when you’ve upset someone else in the process? is your being there really worth it if you’ve inconvenienced someone else? were you better off staying in your house? he struggles with it a little.

but then he gets his ring, gets the chance to be a hero, gets the chance to be chat noir, and suddenly his freedom is his own. he doesn’t need to keep up expectations. he doesn’t need to be adrien agreste, son of gabriel agreste. he doesn’t need to be adrien agreste, best friend of chloé bourgeois. he doesn’t need to be adrien agreste, the boy who doesn’t even know who he is. he gets to decide who he is. for the first time in his life, he’s given the chance to be who he wants to be, and he runs with it. he’s suave, he’s confident, he’s outspoken, he has the whole of the city laid out before him to explore. and he has a friend, a real friend, someone who he’s partners with. equals. it’s not a business transaction, or an exchange. sure, they’re partners in the work sense too, but this is different. ladybug is different. she’s a little shy at first, which is cute, but when he sees her? really sees her? she’s everything he wishes he could be. she’s smart, she’s brave, she stands up for herself and the citizens of paris and does what she knows is right regardless of what consequences it may cause for her personally. she’s the fire that adrien wants for himself, she’s his hero in every sense of the word. and things are good, for a while. they have their episode-of-the-week adventures. he flirts, she scolds him, sometimes things become a little tense, but it’s okay. they work so well together. and he makes progress as adrien too - fixes the mistakes he made, solidifies a friendship with marinette, gets the school life, the normal life, he’s dreamed of.

it doesn’t stay perfect for long, though. new heroes arrive. ladybug drifts away, slowly but surely. he understands - her miraculous is more powerful than his, in its own way. she’s the centre of the world. she’s the hero. it makes sense that she’d get to know things he doesn’t, get to have abilities he doesn’t. he understands, he really does. but that resentment still sits with him. his entire life, he’s been the obedient one. he’s listened to his parents, to his staff, to his best - only - friend. he’s given up everything. he’s given up himself - he discarded who he could be in favour of what he was told he needed to be. he left behind adrien agreste to the point of uninventing himself entirely. chat noir was supposed to be different. chat noir was supposed to be freedom. and yet here he is again, kept in the dark, told to be patient, to leave it alone, that it’s for his own good. everything is always for his own good. he never gets a life all of his own, but it’s for his own good. there are things you can’t know. he wants to leave this behind. so he does, for a while. he’s sick of the secrets and the lies. why have two lives where you don’t exist when you can just narrow it down to one? what’s the point of an alter ego if they’re just the same as the first version of you? what’s the point of being part of a duo when the other person doesn’t need you anymore? adrien agreste doesn’t like his life, not entirely. but now neither does chat noir. he always comes back, though. always. maybe he’s mad at ladybug, sure, but he loves her. she loves him. they make it work. it’s strained.

as adrien, he starts to stand up for himself a little more. he quits modelling. stands up to lila, someone who lies and deceives and tricks people in ways that adrien can’t stand. keeps a shaky friendship with kagami, the girl he loves and dates but isn’t quite in love with. it’s going okay, he supposes. he still wishes things with ladybug were different, were the same, but sure. whatever. he’s dealing with it.

the other heroes thing doesn’t work out. most of them are fine - good, even. rena rouge, carapace, ryuko, viperion. they bring new powers to the table, new thought processes, they help. he makes friends with them, he likes them. and then they’re gone. suddenly the miraculouses are gone. no more heroes. no more team. just him and ladybug, the way it used to be. the way he wanted it to be. but it’s bad. it’s wrong. it’s put paris in danger. but now, with nothing left, ladybug finally sees him. which is what chat noir wanted all along, really. not for the other heroes to leave. not to have ladybug all to himself. just for her to want him as more than the comedic relief. to appreciate him. to know him. she’s his world, she’s the one constant he has in both of his lives, she’s everything to him. and so seeing her drift away, seeing her start to not need him, realising that maybe she never needed him - it stung. but now with just the two of them left, she sees him for who he is. who he’s always been. her own hero.

anyway this got long and i haven’t even gone into detail abt some fucked up episodes. like chat blanc which focuses on his fucking desperation to be loved and to hold onto that love at any cost. or desperada where he watches ladybug die again and again and spends years trying to save her before having to accept that he’s never going to be able to do it. or kuro neko where he creates an entirely new identity for himself because ladybug doesn’t want him anymore but maybe he can change himself into someone she does want. moral of the story is chat noir is such a fucking character holy shit

just. chat noir is about having the power of destruction and using it to create yourself. he’s about not knowing who you are. he’s about that fundamental human craving to be loved - and don’t even get me started on that, because human isn’t even a word that really applies to him anymore. all he wants is to be loved. that’s all he’s ever wanted, after a lifetime of growing up alone. all he wants is to be someone worthy of love.

[i3utterflyeffect]

I know absolutely nothing abt Wandersong so I can't ask any specific questions (;;-o-) BUT!!!!!!! take this ask as blanket permission to talk about any thoughts u have on the game that u want to, canon or AU

if u want some prompting, I saw ur MRD crossover and went 👀👀 I'm curious what ur AU changes from the game(s)!

oh!! okay so basically im going to split this into parts hang on

BUT. YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO PLAY WANDERSONG ITS SUCH A GOOD GAME. ITS SO FUN AND YOU WOULD LOVE MIRIAM AND BARD THEY'RE SO LOVABLE

ANYWAY!!!!!!! godbard au will be under the cut in case its not way too horribly late for you to not be spoilered sfdgklgslg

Mad Rat Miriam

ok aside from this post basically. the combo means that miriam has a much longer time period that mad rat and instead of the entire world ending it's just her. audrey is basically herding her towards a cat and i feel like she's actually pretty violent before bard is like 'NOOO STOP IT'

bard may have been a cat but they're very nice and would not kill anyone. because that is mean and they are NOT mean. they may have been a stray but they'd always just beg for scraps from humans instead and give them the wettest eyes if they try to feed them a mouse.

mim is also still very distant from other people bc yeah she's still a lab rat and she's learned to not be too attached to other ppl and beside she's already alienated bc she's Weird. so bard is really the first time she's been friends with someone and the fact that she's going to die upsets her deeply. but she's glad she got to meet this stupidly nice little heart because god they're too nice but also they're so friendly and kind to her despite everything.

audrey is very much a beastie of instinct and instead of describing herself as a 'rat god' she more describes about as miriam's 'hero', 'guardian angel', whatever fits the bill for that sort of thing. even tho she very much is not and is scaring miriam into going where she wants since mim is not really a huge fan of the wish thing

a lot of the cities of wandersong is just a bunch of stray rats living and Fucking Chilling. and rat god is still a sort of legend thing but it's kind of a horror story where people go wandering into nowhere and never return.

ALSO. the heart battle is so fucking insane i bet. like bard HATES the idea of fighting miriam but they have to do SOMETHING because clearly mim isn't in her right mind. a lot of the fight is a test of patience i bet bc of this

also also! another counterpart of jack is dream king but he DOESN'T CARE about eating mim at all. lazy guy. audrey is not happy about this.

king of hearts is the main one tho since he starts drowning in place of jack and mim decides to save him!!!!!!!!

most of the monsters in general are just hallucinations

anyway miriam and bard have just this strangely similar dynamic to mad rat and heart. violence and 'be nice to people please :)' + Provider Of Beats

plus it's interesting to explore something where the person with their head on straight is bard bc you don't really equate someone happy-go-lucky like that to be the most realistic between the two! usually it's the pessimist but nah its bard this time <3

godbard au

anyway so basically i want to talk about audrey here bc she's been accused of killing bard and since she's basically forced to come along with miriam and bard she's very upset.

BUT. something very important: i feel like she believes in thought crimes.

she's always prided herself on heroism and she never really thought about it before but after some time around Normal People as a Normal Person she starts to get fucked up over her new thought patterns that she developed by being a hero

this gets even worse when bard and miriam start treating her with genuine concern and kindness because she hates them, and she's certainly thought about killing them

as people start talking abt her she becomes more self conscious and it eventually comes to a climax as she is found out and people go on a full-on witch hunt over her

she's very very prone to violence and as she realizes how fucked up her destiny to end the world is she goes into a downwards spiral as she begins to think about awful things more and more and about if she HAD killed them and watched the life drain from their eyes (and she wouldn't have even felt bad)

and if she finds her sword she only gets worse as the intrusive thoughts get worse and more within reach of being completed and she can't take it

and. um

basically i gave her ocd hours. and i feel like i'm correct <3

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[uchihashisuii]

god wait im tryna fall asleep and still thinking about v and vik and to shoot off that last ask where they said their v being with an older guy makes sense like god yeah it does. the parallel of v and vik is so good its a crime it isnt explored in the actual game. because v, regardless of her life path would also constantly be moving forward all her life and then once she hits night city its a constant gogogo. get a job, do it and do it well, on to the next. no slowing down unless its to sleep and we know she doesnt get a lot of that, and then w the relic and trying to fix it its more moving and fighting and sneaking and johnny talking in her ear, head splitting bc of him and what have you. and then she gets together with vik and she finally has a few moments of peace. and she knows she should get going, knows she cant spend the night but she does it anyway bc vik is sweet and solid and comforting, grounding just like his voice. and he takes care of her, and she hasnt had anyone do that in a long time, and she gets to feel loved and like she matters, like really truly matters in this city thats out to kill her for this small little bubble of time and we know that vik would make her understand that when shes with him she is the only thing that matters. and like, not to say v hasnt been in any prior relationships or anything bc theres no text canon wise (that i know of?) and then personal headcanons exist but like. v is supposed to be young right? like early twenties so whether shes had long term relationships or not you know that hers w viktor would hit different bc hes been around this block before, hes not here to play games. hes even said hes dropped all illusions, so hed know what he wants and be realistic with her, and would absolutely treat her right from the getgo. i feel like v would have a little 'oh' moment and that she gets it, that she think this might be worth leaving the living legend ideal behind (and then vik being an actual living legend and wanting ppl to forget it ties in here somewhere) anyway god their dynamic is just so good and sets up such a good romance of mutual comfort and Obtaining That Which Has Been Absent For So Long. god im just so emo for them 🥺

“WAIT also yeah end game vik convo but youre dating vik it would hit so much harder. like i dont think it would necessarily end the same but would largely be similar, at least at the start. him being angry and taking it out on v when its him and the situation hes upset about. and vik obviously knows the most about v and johnny outta everyone i mean he literally stitched her back together. but in all the romances you can kind of shrug the thing off and give vague answers about the relic, basically be like 'yeah ive got leads im following' or 'dont worry im working on it' because she doesnt want to worry them or get them caught up in this anymore than they are, but also keep some distance in case it really goes south. and v would do the same with vik, tell him shes working on it or that they dont have to worry about it right now, she just wants to spent time w him. and hed respect that at the time, but when the end game convo comes you know hed be upset also because he didnt push further, let her talk to him about it. he should have been helping in some way, i mean theyre dating. why didnt he say something sooner before it got this bad? and he cares for her so much and has for so long, and theyre reaching the end and they both know it. god the potential angst there is so good, vik wanting to pull away and be upset at her but he ultimately cant, and theres nothing he can do for her at this point but be there for her, but its right when she has to make a decision and not look back, so she cant really seek comfort in  him other than that one moment (and potentially for the last time ever). god they wrote such a good character and such a good dynamic we were robbed!!!! how did they not plan this as a romance from the start!!! 😔”

dawg i dont even have a gd word to say this is every thot ive had abt vik and v summed up absolutely perfectly your MIND dude im just gonna leave this as is holy shit

[lipstickbisous]

the lion and her sun. (4)

LOST LANNISTER PRINCESS

notes: so far, every chapter has ended with aurane rejecting oberyn sooo. and yeah some facts abt this might wrong but hey..

we gon pretend like dahlia’s exist in this universe. 

and the dress she wears during her walk is très similar to the pink one shae wears in ‘the lion and the rose’. this is for lack of a better picture. (except the dress is orange)

i wrote this while watching the prisoner of azkaban. 

none of that matters, but it’s important to me that you know that.

- john mulaney.

ALSO updates might be a little slower now, we’re having HUGE wifi problems at our house but i will definitely keep writing!

pairing: oberyn x oc!reader

summary: on her last day before the married life, aurane’s emotions start to change.

word count: 6.5k

masterlist

the week was coming to an end, much to aurane’s dismay. for the past three days, she had much to think about and do. her walk with oberyn had thoughts racing around in her head when she had gone to sleep that night. even resting naked against the silk sheets, her pillow pressed to her face with her sprawled out behind her head and her eyes gently shut, memories of the gardens and the prince were floating about, refusing aurane’s begs to go so she could ease into unconsciousness.

when her father had spoken of the sudden and upsetting news to aurane, cersei had spoken of how the dornish would be obligated to use the youngers lannister anyway they wanted. 

“they’ll humiliate her, torture her,” aurane’s dear sister spoke. “you’re going to send her off to her death. a lamb for slaughter.”

now, as aurane watched the sun rise with the silk sheets pulled up to cover her bare breasts, she wondered if her sister, cersei lannister, who had never been wrong about anything, had seriously misjudged the martell family. the princess hadn’t been in the city to meet the common people yet and she hoped that they would be exactly like the royals of sunspear. 

she could hear the bustling of early-rising maidens attending to their chores outside of her door. the child inside of aurane couldn’t wait to see what breakfast she would be brought this morning. 

it must’ve been hours since she had risen from her sleep because the sun now sat in its throne in the sky and there was a knock on the door. “i have your breakfast, your grace.” a sweet voice spoke but the unfamiliar accent made it hard to decipher. 

“come in,” aurane spoke, pulling up two of her pillows against the headboard of her bed and leaning her back towards them. it might’ve been the way she had slept but there was ache throughout her spine. the girl who walked in could’ve been no older than aurane. her hair was curly and frizzy and her skin a light brown. her lips were perfectly shaped and her nose curved into a more rounded one. the girl set down the tray of food at the table near aurane’s window, but before she could set out the plate, cutlery, and goblet, aurane spoke. “forgive me, but i don’t think you’ve ever served me before.”

the girl nodded and curtsied. “my name is dyanna,” she said.

“and where are you from,” aurane questioned before sitting back up and pushing herself off of the bed she’d found more comfortable than any other. along with her she took the silk sheets and held them against her chest so they covered her breasts, stomach, and ass. she sat at her table and smiled when seeing that breakfast that morning consisted of fresh bread, butter and jam, berries, and more orange juice. “dyanna.”

aurane’s interest in a someone of lower-class was unusual for any maiden to experience, even in dorne. “i’m from meereen, your grace.” before aurane could pop a grape into her mouth or slice off a thin piece of bread, she grinned.

“meereen?” she questioned, to which dyanna nodded. aurane set the grape down on her plate and sighed, the smile still lingering. “i’ve never met someone from essos.”

dyanna smiled with her hands held together. “no?” aurane shook her head before finishing half of her orange juice. in the past few days, it the only thing other than wine that aurane could drink. new flavors were being brought to her with every meal and the lannister princess couldn’t get enough. 

“no. my father always kept me in the red keep,” she divulged, smearing butter onto a slice of bread and jam on half of it. “tell me, dyanna of meereen,” aurane inquired before biting down on a small piece of bread. the crust was crunchy in her mouth and the jam, the sweetness of strawberries and sugar, contrasted the tecture. “if my knowledge of geography is correct, meereen is just on slaver’s bay.”

it was hesitant, but dyanna nodded silently in response. when aurane kept eating, popping a berry in her mouth between every other bite, she confessed, “i was born a slave and raised into it, your grace,” the princess sat back, leaving her loaf of bread on the plate along with the few berries left. her gaze softened, showing that she was listening, as her eyes focused on the sea. “i was sold to sunspear and sent to work for prince doran but he freed me.”

slavery had never been something that aurane had first-hand witnessed but her beliefs on it remained negative, unlike her sister and father, who couldn’t have cared less about those born lower than them. it was always a flaw that aurane had seen. “so, you’re a free woman,” aurane looked to the coffered ceiling and clutched her goblet of juice in her hand. “but you choose to work as a maiden?”

dyanna only shrugged, her posture remaining ideal. “what could i do?”

aurane laughed before sipping the rest of her drink and setting it down next to her half-full plate. “you could own a stand in the market. or work at one at least,” aurane sat back in her seat, mindlessly letting the sheets slip a bit, revealing the top of her breast. “collect enough money to buy your own place, or...” dyanna looked up in interest and aurane smirked. “purchase your own land.”

the maiden laughed and shook her head. aurane had then finished her breakfast and felt the breeze of the dornish mornings through the strands of her hair. “i’m fine here, your grace.” aurane kindly nodded as dyanna took the tray in her arms and sighed. before leaving the bedroom and closing the door, she piped up, “oh, your grace, forgive me. i forgot to mention it, but prince oberyn has told me to inform you that he would like another walk...before the wedding.”

dyanna then shut the door behind her before aurane could smile in silence. for the short time she’d been awake that morning, the princess hadn’t once thought anything about her marriage. dorne had entranced aurane and fabricated an entire sort of bliss in her mind.

there wasn’t much to do that day anyway. the wedding was already planned and she’d already worn the wedding dress to have it sized perfectly--during which aurane had been poked with needles twice but brush it off when the maiden apologized mercifully.

another stroll around the gardens, even if it was with the prince, didn’t sound so bad.

this time, aurane had worn an outfit less revealing than her last one. she’d spent an afternoon one day diving through her dresser and wardrobes to see what exactly oberyn had given her. most were two-piece outfits that aurane didn’t see herself comfortable with wearing just yet, but others were fine dresses made of soft and translucent linens. in the bottom drawers of her dresser were at least nine different pairs of...pants? aurane had never worn pants before. in casterly rock and king’s landing, women were always required to be clothed in robes down to their feet. the princess supposed that along with a new home came new opportunities.

well, that inner voice in her head spoke at she bit her bottom lip while holding a pair of trousers that were a dark shade of brown. there’s no point in not trying.

aurane stood with the pants in her hands, naked in her room--in all of her glory--and sighed before slipping her feet through the corresponding holes of the clothing. she pulled the pants up to her waist where it had felt comfortable and tied the two loose strings along the sides together the pants tightened around her stomach.

there was nothing much for aurane to say about them except for the fact that she entirely did not enjoy them. she looked to the mirror and noticed how they bagged around her thighs as she pinched the areas that left gaps between her skin and the material of the pants. aurane pulled them off as quickly as possible and pitched them into the woven basket she’d been given on her third day for dirty laundry. 

she began to dive into the wardrobe again before noticing the pale orange dress that had been hung directly in the center of her closet. the silk had nearly been invisible because when aurane slipped it onto her frame, she could see her legs and breasts through the fabric. it was then she remembered the prince’s sudden mention of undergarments and wraps that had been placed inside the dressers as well. the entire process of wearing a simple dress that fit perfectly took far too long for aurane then removed the clothing from her body, wrapped a cloth around her bust and backside, then placing the dress back on her frame. it hadn’t been too entirely hot that day, so the simple sheer fabric of the robe had been perfect against aurane’s skin.

by then, with the sun’s position in the sky, it had already been an hour before lunch and aurane’s stomach began to rumble with a yearning for the dornish food she’d grown so attached to over the past week. the princess placed a hand over her torso and sighed. she supposed it would be best to wait for oberyn to arrive just as he had the other day. 

almost half an hour flew, and aurane was still waiting. as of now, she sat in a chair by her window, quill, ink, and paper in her lap as she drew the outline of the great palm tree in front of her room. she hadn’t once looked down to see what her drawing would turn out to be; it was an art technique she had been taught in king’s landing. aurane had already finished several other drawings of whatever the view from her window brought and they sat by her feet on the floor. finally, after an illusion of hours, there was a knock on her door.

aurane hated to admit that she immediately jumped off of her chair and onto her feet, running to the door to see the prince. but when she opened the door, it was a large man, taller than any other she’d seen, with rich dark skin and a bald head. “captain?” she cocked an eyebrow.

the guard nodded. “prince oberyn waits for you outside of the west wing of the castle,” areo hotah was one of the most intimidating men that aurane had ever seen and she had been trained by ser gregor in her teenages years--of course, it was never something to mention to the martells.

aurane chewed the inside of her cheek nervously and blushed. “right, um,” she said, looking back to her room and shaking her head before letting out a small laugh that didn’t change the guards’ expressions at all. “well, i guess i’m going.” areo let her leave the room before closing her doors behind her. they then walked down the hallways of the dornish castle, aurane in front with several of her guards behind her. the seven then turned a corner and was brought to another door at the end of the hallway. aurane laughed sheepishly and turned to the captain.

“the west wing is that way, your grace,” he pointed behind the group, in the opposite direction of how they had been walking. as much as aurane wanted to roll her eyes--because why hadn’t he mentioned it before?--she smiled politely and turned on her heel to the west wing.

they trailed down staircases, strolled down through hallways that all began to look the same, and took sharp turns and corners. “if you don’t mind my asking,” aurane spoke with her eyes focused on any sign of where she was in the castle. “why is the prince not at the front entrance? or the gardens?”

areo laughed deeply, a sound that came straight from the depths of his chest. “the prince has special plans today, your grace.” over the last few days, aurane had been reassured that she would remain safe in dorne. but with the captain’s sudden statement, a fear washed over aurane again.

the princess truly had no idea what was in the west wing. the east held all of the royal’s bedrooms, the north had the guest rooms, and the south was for the maidens, chefs, and laborers of the castle. but the remaining had always remained a mystery until now.

“elia martell’s room used to be here, your grace,” the captain spoke again. aurane’s straightforward footsteps began to slow in pace as the realization sunk in. “it’s been abandoned since her death.” without stopping in her walk, aurane sighed. it was quiet again, with only the marching steps of the guards, the wooden ends of the spears against the floor, and loud thoughts in aurane’s head for her to hear. “prince oberyn is just this way, your grace.” areo pointed down a staircase to where there was a little wooden door with a lining of light around it. 

sickness began to overtake aurane’s body as she thought about the one specific princess who once habited this part of the castle. how aurane’s family had brutally slaughtered this princess and her children; how they sent her off as a peace treaty. aurane hadn’t noticed it, but she then stood directly in front of the door, staring at the knob. areo, from behind her, cleared his throat for it was a tight staircase and not all six of the guards, including him, could fit inside. she was knocked out of her thoughts and pushed the door open, the sudden sunlight burning her eyes from becoming used to the dim lighting of the castle. she mentally hissed and slapped a hand over her eyes before they met other brown ones.

“good morning, lion,” oberyn smiled. behind him were several more guards holding spears taller than them. the brightness of the sun didn’t seem to affect him at all as aurane gently squinted. “come, we’ll find shade.”

when aurane was by his side, he placed a gentle hand on her back, just as he did nights ago when she had silently rejected him. “and where exactly are we going this time?”

the prince chuckled. “well, you are to be a princess of dorne by tomorrow,” he smiled as they began to walk. it was then, when aurane could finally see in the light, that she noticed they were in a similar space as the docks. behind a large wall, extremely close to the ocean that aurane could almost feel it on her skin. “i figured you would want to meet the city.”

two of his guards stood by an alike door to that of what was located in the castle. it was old and smelled moldy like it hadn’t been used in a long time. aurane laughed. “a secret entrace?” she looked up to the prince with an arched eyebrow. “you really think dorne won’t like me that you had to take me to a secret entrance?”

oberyn shrugged. “i didn’t think you would want the attention.” the two guards swung the door open and aurane could instantly hear the bustling and yelling of the city of sunspear. she looked to oberyn, who stood only two inches taller than her, and sighed before ducking to fit inside the small door frame and entered the city.

it had almost been like magic because the wall had been so thick and strong it kept out all sound of a well-growing economy. as far as aurane could see, there were large structures and houses built all over the land. on the second floors of those buildings must’ve been the homes to thousands of dornish citizens because below them on the first floor were market and small shops and trading centers. it had been so similar to king’s landing yet sunspear reminded aurane nothing of home.

the prince was quiet for a few seconds because not one common person had noticed their presence. “do you like it?” he asked.

aurane smiled but oberyn hadn’t seen it. she slowly nodded as she whispered a, “yeah,” but soon caught herself in such a vulnerable state. “it’s not like i have much of a say whether i like it or not, do i?”

her sarcastic and audacious remarks had no effect on the prince anymore or, really, anyone of dorne. she hadn’t seen ellaria since she’d brought her lunch but even her maidens and servants didn’t seem bothered. it was like their pride could never be tainted. without saying anything in response, oberyn simply cocked his head and they began to walk again.

the soldiers followed a foot behind them but yet maintained a distance for a discussion or even a simple conversation to take place. at least three ladies had recognized the prince and gently curtsied before returning to their daily duties. oberyn must’ve noticed aurane’s confused state because he answered with, “everyone in dorne is treated equal. farmers and marketers are treated just how i am treated.”

even aurane had to admit that the system the people of sunspear followed was fair and nice. “they just...” she shook her head, her eyes trailing over anything to look at by the second. “they don’t look so surprised.”

oberyn shrugged. “i come for walks often,” his hands were holding each together behind his back but every part of him wanted to place just a soft, caring hold on aurane. “the guards are a requirement of my brother.”

why was he so kind? why, even after the slaughtering his family had gone through, the pain he’d felt in his life, was he so kind? even better, how could he be so sweet and patient and loving to those below him? it made a regurgitative feeling arise in aurane’s stomach and she could feel the contents of her breakfast reaching her throat before sighing and swallowing it back down, cringing in disgust. 

“you’re distressed, my sun,” the pet name, which aurane had secretly grown found of but would never admit, made her slightly cower. “what’s wrong?”

the prince’s eyes trailed over the variety of fruits and vegetables being sold by one vender as aurane chose her words carefully. “i fear i’ve been...disrespectful,” it was long overdue but oberyn was patient. “from the moment we arrived in dorne, you’ve been nothing but- but hospitable and welcoming. and i’ve been...vile. and rude,” he only nodded for her to continue, sensing she had a whole loads of words to speak. “perhaps it was my sister who drove this fear into me that i wouldn’t be accepted here.”

a kind smile between a vendor and oberyn was exchanged from his viewing of the products, but he listened intently to every word. “growing up, you were taught we were animals.”

aurane nodded and laughed incredulously. “savages,” she corrected him. such biased opinions had been written in the books she’d read as a child when learning about westeros. “and during the past week, i’ve found you’re nothing like the sort.”

the prince chuckled and smiled so that butterflies flew down aurane’s throat and into her stomach, where they would remain. “oh, really?”

her eyes watched as he turned to look at every sort of item being sold that day. suddenly, his kindness was a likable attribute to aurane and she blushed with a sly smirk. “if i’m telling the truth here,” he nodded. “you might even be better than those in king’s landing.”

“well, it’s not hard to be better than a lannister.” his remark wasn’t hateful or vengeful as oberyn smirked back and for a second, aurane had forgotten that there were guards behind her or merchants and traders and farmers all around. it felt like it was just the two of them enjoying them a quiet afternoon and a simple conversation. she quite liked it. “perhaps we should find lunch somewhere.”

aurane furrowed her eyebrows with a crooked smile before hesitantly laughing. “you mean,” she found no falter in the prince’s expression. “dining in a- a what, a restaurant?”

this seemed to take oberyn by surprise because, and it was the only time aurane could find him doing this that day, he laughed unsurely. the red viper was never unsure and even he himself couldn’t say what was happening. “well, yes,” his eyes began to scan over the many shops and restaurants in search of a meal. “that is what restaurants tend to do.”

such comment was not meant to be sarcastic or snarky or rude. it was a mindless thought that oberyn had just happened speak out. “i’ve never been in a restaurant,” aurane whispered and looked to the ground. would the owners of whatever eating house oberyn picked be peaceful with a lannister princess dining in their business. 

oberyn had heard her mumble but said nothing of it. there was a pit at the bottom of his stomach, it’d been there since his sister was murdered, and he hadn’t felt such sympathy in that pit from elia’s death until now, when aurane muscles grew tense because people were starting to look.

there were whispers. the worst kind of whispers; the kind where it seemed as if every person had something to say but it was impossible to make out. eyes were glued to the couple yet hands remained at their jobs. oberyn had never seen his city spark in such controversy. had aurane been right? would they treat her differently? he looked to the girl beside him and found that she was hearing the whispers too yet there was no stall in her walk. if someone had quickly glanced at her, she would glare back at them. her chin was raised high and oberyn, such as he had done with ellaria, felt compassion and admiration.

he gulped silently at the sudden change of heart in his city. as they began to walk further and further, growing deeper in sunspear, the whispers began to fade in and out. the rumored lannister princess was finally showing her face. “here, my sun,” he pointed to a small tavern with trays of produce and potted flowers in front of the windows. “i’ve been told you can handle the dornish spices.”

aurane blushed and nodded as the sudden mention of such topic caused her mind to flash to ellaria. she wanted to see the older lady again desperately and she wasn’t sure why. the entrace of the restaurant was not grand or heavenly or designed with a golden intricate design. it was a simple tavern with at least sixty plants hung and placed on the perimeter. it had been one large room and, for the time of day, strangely empty. aurane suspected that the prince had reserved it in secret but she wouldn’t comment on it. 

before either of them stepped foot into the tavern, oberyn placed a gentle hand on her forearm and pointed to one of the potted plants that held six white flowers with layers of small triangular petals. a few of the flowers had a pink hue to them but the white ones took aurane by interest.

“a dahlia,” the prince smiled, gently dragging his fingers over the petals. his eyes seemed entranced over the small plant. “you don’t see them very much.”

aurane smiled and turned to oberyn. “they grow rarely in king’s landing,” her words were sweet but there was something in oberyn’s gaze that seemed so reminiscent. he was longing for something. “what is it?”

he chewed the inside of his cheek and aurane turned to the guards standing protectively behind them. even they seemed aware of whatever oberyn had been feeling. “elia’s favorite flower,” his lips curled with a raspy voice before picking the flower from it’s stem and holding it between his two fingers. oberyn then looked to aurane, who was more understanding now, and wove the flower through her hair until it sat behind her ear. aurane could only smile.

―

the day was ending and the sun was starting to set. a large lunch had filled aurane’s stomach so there was no room for dinner. oberyn must’ve been the same because on their walk back to the castle, he, too, walked with heavy feet. the guard’s behind them didn’t stumble in their steps as the sunlight was fading. 

“i hoped you enjoy our walk today,” oberyn spoke, his hands behind his back as they strolled along the secret pathway. while exiting the city through the small door just as they had done earlier that day, aurane had been careful to crouch down so that her flower would stay woven in her hair. 

she nodded and listened to the waves because there wasn’t much else to here. the bustling of the city was muffled by the wall but aurane didn’t mind a little of bit of silence as the day ended. “i think i did,” the dahlia, which had at first felt strange when touching her temple was now softly brushing against her skin. “and i did enjoy lunch.” she turned to the prince.

“i don’t suppose you still want dinner?” he asked politely, looking down only two inches to her height. most of the woman oberyn had been with, apart from ellaria, could only reach his shoulder but the top of aurane’s head touched just below his nose. 

it was peaceful for him to watch her laugh so effortlessly and genuinely as the shore threatened to crash above the pathaway. they’d been inches away from the water but yet no sign of fear arose. “no, i think i’ve had my fill for the day.”

a nod in response before oberyn sighed, “join me in my chambers.” just as his voice normally did toward the end of the day, he sounded raspy and tired yet every part of him was awake while he looked at aurane.

was it an offer for a night of pleasure? the rumors of oberyn and his countless lovers had been spread all throughout westeros and he didn’t seem ashamed by them. aurane had no problem with bedding someone before she was married, she’d done it before, but she hadn’t thought that the prince would draw her close just for a fuck. the prince laughed and shook his head, noticing aurane’s train of thought. “i can promise you, lion, it’s not like that,” he chuckled out. aurane’s cheeks burned in embarrassment. “when was the last time you had a bath?”

they were now in the abandoned west wing that remained darker than the rest of the castle, but aurane didn’t find it unpleasant or frightening. oberyn could barely find the courage to walk around these quarters of the castle himself but aurane, who had lived with the family responsible of the death of the former inhabitant of sunspear, strolled so unbothered down those halls. it wasn’t because she had no care for elia martell’s death, if anything it was the opposite, but no--this was because aurane could swallow the lannister pride and respect the fact that her father slaughtered oberyn’s sister.

once they had arrived in the east wing, oberyn turned to his soldiers and cocked his head for them to leave him and aurane. because they had been under prince doran’s command, they each shared a glance of hesitation but one simple stern eye and a whispered “have my maidens fetch warm water for my room” and they continued to walk down the hallway, leaving the oncoming couple alone. “you wouldn’t oppose a bath, would you?”

aurane’s first experience of a bath in dorne had been lovely, mainly due to the spices and scents of the salts and soaps she combed through her hair. she sighed heavily, her chest rising with her breath before smiling, “no, i don’t think i would.” the rest of their walk was in sweet silence. the castle seemed to be asleep--the gardens were empty and the hallways barren of the normal maidens hurrying down to each room. aurane noticed that they walked past her room and she wondered just how close her and oberyn had been to each other this entire time. the floors, still a pristine polished marble, seemed to glimmer as the last of the sun could be seen in the sky. finally, they had arrived at oberyn’s door, which were exactly the same as aurane’s.

she chuckled and looked back down the hallway to where her doors stood and then back at the prince. “all this time and you’ve been down the hallway?” oberyn shrugged and opened the door for the princess. she bit on her tongue when she was instantly greeted with the overpowering aroma of citrus sugar. 

“don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts now?” the prince smirked and aurane showed no hesitation as she sauntered confidently into the room, soon slowing her steps. 

his room had been much bigger than hers, yet held the same amount of furniture and looked still so full. the bed was placed next to the equivalent wall that aurane’s bed was in her room. the windows were so close to the bed that it seemed to her morning’s must’ve been perfect because the sun could just simply leak in through the windows and darken the skin of whoever lied upon the bed. next to the opening of the room was a desk that held what looked like to be hundreds of crumpled papers and a quill and its ink. on the opposite side of his room was a large wooden tub that could hold multiple bodies and the simple thought of who had been in there before almost sickened aurane. the tub had been filled to the brim with warm water and on a small table beside it were various soaps and salts. 

it was sudden but the door had been closed and oberyn’s hands landed on aurane bare shoulders. she shuddered gently and he immediately removed his touch. “lion,” he spoke steadily and turned aurane to him.

they both turned so their backs faced each other and she could hear him unbuttoning his top. her fingers did their best to trail over the clip in the rear of her dress but fumbled over the soft fabric. she sighed and turned to the prince but found he’d already reversed back to her. his chest was completely bare as he was only dressed in his pants. he must’ve silently slipped his boots off because his feet were also bare against the marble. he cocked his head and pushed on her shoulder so she turned once again. his index and thumb found the clip so simply and undid it so the fabric feel loose against her body, but her hands flew to her chest to catch it from falling completely off. there a crumpling noise of leather dropping into a heap on the floor. water splashed apart and together until it was silent again. while keeping her back facing oberyn, aurane turned her head and met his eyes.

he sat against the side of the tub with his arms held up along the edge of the wood. “are you scared, lion?” he asked so sweetly yet remained so stern. 

the only thing that stood in the way of aurane standing as naked as the day she was born in front of the prince was her hands clutching onto the dress. “close your eyes.” she whispered. oberyn only sighed and rose a hand over his eyes, gently squeezing them shut for reassurance. the dress cascaded down to the floor with an inaudible sound. she stepped one foot in the water and the warmth instantly felt calming. once aurane stood completely in the tub, she began to sink to the bottom, where she sat with the surface of her bath reaching just above her breasts. 

“can i open?” the prince asked. 

aurane brought her knees to her chest and spoke aloud a, “yes.” her arms wrapped around her legs as oberyn rested his hand again and smiled. somehow, despite her cowering position, aurane felt more confident than ever with all of her body exposed. 

that sly smile spread over oberyn’s face again as twirled his finger for aurane to turn around. she did so and sat closer to him in between his legs. her breath almost hitched when she felt his length against her back but he didn’t act upon it. instead, he lathered his hands with a lemon-scented shampoo and combed it throughout the strands of aurane’s hair. it was a soothing feeling as his fingertips gently massaged her scalp and aurane could’ve fallen asleep right there. once her hair was completely covered in the suds, oberyn then cupped his hands into the water and poured it over her head, watching as the soap washed out fairly easily.

she chuckled. “how many girls have you given baths too?” she noted his expertise. it wasn’t every man who knew who to treat a woman’s hair--not in westeros. 

once her hair was completely cleaned and dripping and pushed it to the side of her neck so her back was bare. he placed a soft kiss against the top of her spine, “do you want to know?” and began to caress her arms with the bar of soap. aurane gently shook her head and smiled. for a month, she’d be tense and anxious for what her fate awaited for her. for the past week, while remaining in her room she’d grown closer and closer to that fate and could not see perfectly clear what it was. and if it really was this, she didn’t mind. a finger was suddenly brushed over a raw piece of skin on her arm and she shivered under the touch.

oberyn’s eyebrows furrowed in concern before sitting up and looking over the top of aurane’s arm. “lion,” he cooed, gazing at the ruined skin--a scar. “how did you acquire such a wound?”

the question was one that aurane didn’t have to answer often because it was only her family who had seen it and she’d never left the castle for anyone else to glimpse her scar. 

“fire,” she spoke as he continued to gently rub over the healed wound with one hand, and the other poured water over the soap on her body. the sun had now completely set and the stars were glimmering over the surface of the water. the moonlight had such an effect on aurane’s frame--there was a silver lining against her curves and edges and oberyn wanted nothing more than to cherish it. “casterly rock didn’t like how the last lannister child was a bastard, furthermore with a rumored dornishwoman. i had never seen the city until i was four namedays,” the prince remained quiet as another kiss was placed on her shoulder. “my father had been hesitant about letting me into the festivals. but my brother had begged. he said ‘she’ll never learn to be a good ruler if she can’t know her people’, so papa had my sister escort me along with four other guards.”

a kiss on her knuckles as he held her hand. “and?”

“i’d gotten lost along the way. i didn’t think it was possible for a city to hate a child so much but i’d been proven wrong.” underneath the water, aurane moved her hands in such delicate motions. “i was in alley or- something like that, i can’t remember. but there were two men there and a woman. they were sneering and laughing at the little lost lannister princess,” a kiss on her wrist. “one was holding a candle since the sun was setting for the festivities to begin, and as i was trying to walk away, they pressed the fire against my arm,” the memories were still there in aurane’s mind but they didn’t spark anger or vengeance in her. she had accepted it. “my sister then found me and my father had them hanged.”

oberyn chuckled and planted a firm kiss on her neck. the loving and affectionate actions hadn’t taken aurane by surprise. she knew of the prince’s ways and respects. “lannisters are dangerous people.”

he talked of her family as if she wasn’t a part of it. maybe she wasn’t--maybe aurane wasn’t a lannister like her father or siblings because her mother had been a dornishwoman and aurane had been born a bastard. “yes, they are.”

―

suddenly, all the peace and comfort aurane had felt during her first week in sunspear dissolved into dust and blown away in the cool evening breeze she loved to feel after the hot days of dorne. the last time she’d been pampered was her last day in king’s landing. her maidens had braided her hair and her sister had applied the sheer cover of make-up to her skin that wasn’t needed very much. during her week, aurane had dressed herself and brushed her own hair and washed her own body, but now, she sat in a chair in front of her mirror with several maidens surrounding her. one was twirling and brushing and braiding her hair, another was powdering her face, and the last was tying the loose strings in the back of aurane’s dress. 

why was she so nervous? the night before had been so simple--oberyn showed love and they’d bathed and because he was so understanding, she returned to her chambers where she slept for only two hours.

a maiden giggled. “it’s a wonder, your grace,” she admired. “i sleep only four hours through the night and i always wake up with darkness under my eyes.”

aurane smiled in response and nodded quietly. her dress was the usual white, but behind it was a golden tint in honor of the lannister house, although she knew that dorne wanted nothing to do with their enemies. she looked at her reflection and her mirror and liked what she saw, but despite her beauty and fairness, her fingers absentmindedly began to fiddle with each other.

she sighed fairly and the maidens looked to each other on what to say. the oldest one, who looked about aurane’s sister’s age, stumbled on her words before noting, “i hope you know you look heavenly, your grace,” she leaned down and tucked a strand of hair behind aurane’s ear. 

the princess smiled in response before the second maiden spoke, “very heavenly, indeed,” aurane looked back to her reflection and attempted to smile with pride but it came out slightly unhinged. “the prince is a good man. you’re marrying a very good man.”

a knock echoed through aurane’s room as she inhaled deeply, sticking out her chest. the first maiden went to the door and the two other followed suite. aurane did not turn to see who was at the door because she knew, by tradition, it could not be oberyn. 

“my lady,” a maiden curtsied before ellaria sand could brush her off.

the older woman bowed her head back and looked to aurane. the sound of her voice, so peaceful and loving and...maternal, piqued interest in the princess and she smiled at the sight of oberyn’s lover. ellaria wore a bright yellow linen dress with golden plating on her shoulders that were attached to more honey-colored pieces of fabric that cascaded down her arms and to the floor. she looked heavenly. “are you ready, lion?”

aurane’s gaze softened and her lips parted.

tags: @ohpedromypedro @zeldasayer @pascalpapi @absurdthirst @cyarikaaa @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @pedropascalonline @pedropascalito @pedropascalitofics @honeychicanawrites @otherthingsinhead @wakalas @pedropascalispapi @heavenbarnes @qveenbvtch @foreverlostindreams @forever-rogue @arianawills @liadamerondjarin @pascalisthepunkest

[lesbianazuna]

Considering the Mixed thoughts on the 2nd Half BMA, how would you have written it?

im gonna put this under a read more bc i have a lot of thoughts on this and ive never talked abt them before so i have a lot to say.

tbh the problem i have with the 2nd half of bna is that it doesn’t really do any of the things the 1st half set up for it to do? idk, like, i know a lot of people say it feels rushed, but i think it only feels rushed because (rather than complete the plot points they established in eps 1-6) the 2nd half of the show introduces an entirely different unrelated plot that really needed an entire season rather than half of one.

(bc there’s been no announcement for s2 and we have no reason to believe there’ll be one, im critiquing this as though the show’s over btw. also i’ll be calling the 1st half of the season “pt.1″ and the 2nd “pt.2″ from here on, just bc it’s easier).

one of the worst parts about pt.2 is definitely the entire alan situation. the big reveal that he’s a beastman was awful: most of pt.1 had been about how beastmen were being oppressed by humans and pt.2 completely dropping that plot line then going on to make the main oppressor in the show a member of the minority he was oppressing was... not a great look. it’s complicated, because there definitely is something to be said about “pick me” minorities, who would rather fit in with their oppressors than stand up for the people in their own community, but bna wasn’t trying to do that. even if they were trying to do that, because alan is the only villain (except maybe boris?), it creates a narrative that minorities are responsible for their own oppression. which is obviously not correct and could have been avoided if a) alan was a human or b) there were other human villains (and if they went down that route, i’d probably do it where alan is working with/for the humans and think’s because of that he’ll be safe, but they end of betraying him and treating him like they do the other beastmen when they don’t need him anymore). 

and it wasn’t even good storytelling, the reveal came out of nowhere, there was no buildup or foreshadowing or anything (there’s a difference between an unexpected plot twist and something that just doesn’t make sense) and it ruined all the “humans vs beastmen” conflict that pt.1 had set up without solving it or even acknowledging it at all. also, i didn’t think this had to be said, but introducing blood purity in the last 5 minutes of your show as a “funky little plot twist” is the worst thing ever??? wtf?????

also this post talks abt alan being in a giant robotic wolf for his fight with shirou which i think is a really cool idea.

honestly, the main plot point that gets dropped after pt.1 is the “human vs beastmen” thing (which is especially weird considering it’s like the whole focus of the first 4 or 5 episodes??? like. the entire show happens because of it? michiru goes to anima city bc of it, michiru meets shirou because of it, she befriends nina because of it, nazuna and the church of the silver wolf go to anima city because of it. like.. for all of pt.1, the entire plot revolves around the oppression of beastmen by humans then in pt.2 it’s only mentioned like once??). the only time it’s mentioned in pt.2 is when mayor rose gets trapped by the humans (and even that is brushed off as nothing). 

i think there should’ve been more time spent with humans: in ep1 they’re literally trying to kill michiru, in ep4 they lock nina in a fish tank and almost drown her, in ep1 they show clips of anti-beastmen riots and even the fact that anima city exists? obviously it’s supposed to be a safe place for beastmen but a) just separating humans and beastmen isn’t going to solve the problem and b) 😐 u know the humans’ probably only agreed to that so they wouldn’t have to interact with beastmen anymore. we’re shown beastmen being murdered and abused by humans on multiple occasions and the only “solution” we’re given in the end is nazuna becoming an idol and? ending violence against minorities by singing songs? (not even political songs). it just feels really disjointed that pt.1 is all about racism then in pt.2 it’s completely forgotten about for the sake of nirvasyl syndrome.

to be honest, i’d like to get rid of nirvasyl syndrome all together but it’s pretty important to most of pt.2, so i’d probably just change the way it’s executed. rather than give the minority characters a gene that turns them into bloodthirsty killing machines, i’d have sylvasta pharmaceuticals be involved with it. maybe when beastmen go to their hospital (considering it’s the biggest one in anime city, it’s safe to assume most if not all beastmen have been to it at least once), they’re given an injection that gives them nirvasyl syndrome (the capability to have it - they’d still have to get really angry or upset for it to kick in like in canon). or maybe the human government are involved with it somehow? idrk

tbh, i’d leave everything up until episode 9 the same, then i’d change nirvasyl syndrome to be a disease beastmen were unknowingly given by sylvasta pharmaceuticals (so everything with nazuna’s concert and shirou’s howl could still happen) and i’d make alan a human and give him a giant robot for his fight with shirou.

i’d also continue the humans mistreating beastmen plotline past episode 6 (human alan/sylvasta being responsible for nirvasyl obviously ties into that). becuase it’s only 12 episodes it would probably have to end in a “things are just starting to get better but we have hope for the future” type thing - maybe with getting rid of anima city?

i’d change it so anima city is marketed as a euptopia for beastmen to convince them to go, but once they get there they realise it isn’t as great as they thought (which is kinda canon already). although they’re safe from humans, they can’t leave and they’re not even completely safe (like in ep1 when those beastmen working for humans destroy the festival) (and the way they can’t even use phones to contact the rest of the world? u wouldn’t have to do much to make it feel like a prison).

near the end of the show, the human government starts betraying mayor rose and, even before that, it hasn’t been helping anima city out (sylvasta gives the city enough money to run), so i’d end the show with the beastmen breaking out of anima city to confront the humans and demand they be allowed back into the rest of society (which even adds the opportunity for a second season).

after sylvasta gave the beastmen nirvasyl, mayor rose realised that if they aren’t even safe in anima city, there’s no point being trapped in there (i’d probably add an episode or have the nirvasyl incident happen a little earlier/end faster tho, so there’s time for them leaving anima city to not be rushed)

[supercxrpschild]

request! Alex’s daughter having anxiety about her mom dying/getting injured on the job

Alex's daughter has been having rlly bad anxiety abt her mom dying or getting injured on the job (even though she's only been injured once or twice since adopting her.) At school one day it gets so bad to where she passes out hits her head cracks it open, and winds up in the hospital with a concussion. Her and Alex than talk abt it and Alex decides to retire from behind a field agent, and hand out missions/work from her lab.

Hi! I’m so sorry for the wait between requests. I’ve just been sick and its been hard to write. But I’m feeling a little better, so here we go! I hope this is okay, anon 🤍

This was the last request I’m pretty sure (?) that I’ve actually answered in a post, but i have quite a few in my inbox so I will answer them and tell you that I am working on them when i am, just know i’ve seen them and I appreciate them!! 

As you saw people talking about it at school, your stomach turned.

Another alien attack.

It was underway at near the National City Library and your adoptive mom and aunt were there fighting it. It was luckily lunchtime, so you excused yourself to the bathroom. Locking yourself in a cubicle, you found yourself fighting to breathe, you were just so scared of losing your mom after everything else you’d been through. Rationally, you knew that since Alex had adopted you a couple of years ago, she had only been hurt badly once, and it was only a broken ankle, other times just cuts and scrapes. But you couldn’t stop yourself from panicking.

Eventually, you had calmed down enough to go to class seeing as your lunch period had pretty much ended, but your anxiety still didn’t subside until you were finally home and saw your mom in one piece and safe.

As she came through the door with takeout in hand, she had to skilfully drop it onto the counter as you immediately attached yourself to her side.

“Well hello to you too, kiddo.” She laughed wrapping her arm around you, she grew a little concerned with how tight you were holding her, almost as if you were afraid.

“y/n? You okay?” You let go of her, put on a smile, and nodded.

“Yeah, school was just really long today.” You lied, you didn’t want to upset her, especially considering everything shes already done for you.

“Well, its Friday and I bought our usual Friday meal, and then I thought we could watch some Netflix” Alex smiled, pulling out take out containers.

“Burritos?!” Alex laughed,

“You got it kid, with extra corn chips of course.”

A week or two later, it happened again. This time the alien attack was really bad, it was a bit outside of national city, but kids were talking about it since it was all over social media. You walked down the hall, trying to get to your next class but you were just so overcome with anxiety you couldn’t move. Breath shuddering, fingers and toes tingling, growing weaker and weaker, vision tunnelling … tunnelling… you couldn’t see…

“Sweetheart, please wake up for me, please, for momma?” You blinked slowly, your head pounding as soon as bright white light came into focus.

“Mom?” You looked around and saw your mom with her infamous crinkle, holding your hand. Then you saw your Aunt Kara, with a matching crinkle, standing off to the side.

“Oh y/n, honey, don’t you ever scare me like that again.” Alex brushed your hair from your face, you looked at her confused.

“Mom, what happened? Where are we?” Alex kept stroking her hand through your hair, being somewhat careful.

“You had an accident honey. A really bad panic attack and you passed out and hit your head on the lockers nearby, they had to get an ambulance baby. Your okay, but you had cracked your head open, and have a pretty bad concussion. They wanna keep you in here at least until tomorrow morning. Oh baby, I’m so glad you’re okay. You’re okay right? Is anything hurting? What are you feeling?” Alex begun to panic toward the end of her explanation, switching between mom and doctor mode,

“Just my head mom, and I feel a little nauseous.” Alex nodded and pressed the button to call the doctor.

Kara came over and kissed your forehead and told you she was glad you were okay, before leaving to give you and your mom some time to talk before the doctor came.

“Want to tell me whats going on with you?” Alex asked, rubbing her thumb across the back of your hand.

You averted your gaze, mumbling “nothing”. Alex lifted your chin, looking into your eyes and without words, telling you she didn’t believe that for one second.

With that one look, everything fell out, you burst into tears and told your mom everything.

“I just, I’m so so scared all the time. I don’t want to lose another parent, I cant. You’re the best person Ive ever known and I can’t lose you. Every time I hear that theres an alien attack, I can’t breathe because all I can think about is you getting hurt. I, I know its your job, I just am so scared Mom.”

Alex wiped your tears and got up onto the bed next to you, pulling you into her so your head rested on her chest.

“Honey, I wish you had told me. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like this and you felt like you had to hide it from me.” She kissed your forehead before continuing, “How about, I talk to J’onn and I’ll see if I can be in the lab more, less time out there where I could get hurt.” You nodded,

“A-are you sure mom?” She replied,

“If it will make you feel better, I would go to the ends of the earth, honey.”

[concertcs]

hey guys 🥰💌✨🥺💘🌈 it’s me again !! ur old pal hannah !  n this is my angel child tito <3 welcome to loving tito hours <3 

okay so before i jump into this, as a disclaimer i just finished finals week for a 17 credit semester so my brain is just like. tv static and evermore on loop. so if ur looking for an actually well-written, cohesive bio n stats n other fun stuff u can find that in my app which i did in fact write Prior to finals week !  okay on with the show !

okay so tito is the second child born to luis n angela rosario n the younger sibling of sebastián n tbh i know im biased but i love the rosarios sm 🥺 luis was an aspiring musician n angela worked 3 jobs to support them n they had a rly happy life together for a little while :/

tito first got into music when they were in first grade n their music teacher señora coco stayed after school to teach him how to play the piano n they loved it !!  luis was Thrilled bc he swore from the day tito was born tht they were destined to be a musician with him n thus began the dream of the two of them would be a successful father-son duo one day <3

spoiler alert: it did not happen 💔

(death tw) luis was killed in a drive by shooting when tito was 15 😔 n it was rly hard on them 😔 they stopped playing music altogether n definitely went through this moment where they likely pushed away Everyone bc so much of their grief manifested as anger 😔 (end tw)

it didn’t last forever !  but !  the minute that he started to kind of regain his footing, angel was like hey we’re leaving the city !! let’s go !! n tito was like no 💖 bc they wanted to stay in la and salvage what they could of their dad’s dream... so they did

they also went to community college !!  which was when he started to rly start to feel like himself again 🥺 but once they graduated they started working at this radio station to get their foot in the door n it backfired bc they’ve been stuck there for 3 years now... so sorry to them

the day that tito found the killer conclusions cd was actually their 3 yr anniversary exactly which was exactly as depressing as u think it is :/  so to cheer himself up they went to the thrift store for a blind date with a cd which was this tradition that his dad created for them when tito was little (ngl it makes me emotional i wrote a longer thing abt it in my app) n basically told tito that if you picked the most nondescript cd you can find then you’re not being biased n youre just letting the music find you 

and ofc !  as we all know tito’s fate is to get haunted by our fave ghost band !  and here we are !

so that’s the sparknotes version of his bio sdfkdjs here are the hcs i wrote in my app bc i think they say a lot abt him <3

so tito grew up listening to a lot of his father’s favorite latine artists, n luis’s favorite is .. ofc… ricky martin bc he’s from puerto rico and livin la vida loca is a bop !  but tito’s own personal favorite artist is selena. the first Real Song that they ever learned (as in not hot cross buns or twinkle, twinkle little star) to play on the piano was dreaming of you, which is one of his two favorite selena songs to this day. it’s tied with amor prohibido <3

tito loves to dance n they are absolutely shameless about it. they grew up watching their parents samba in the kitchen n he was immediately like Okay Me Too. are they a particularly great dancer? no ❤️ but that does not deter them n what they lack in technical skill they make up for in enthusiasm

very, very, very much a Disaster Gay with the emphasis on disaster. like he Does Not know how to talk to boys at all n gets very flustered n nervous when he does . especially bc i think this is a pretty recent development for them. as in like .. within the last 5 years n it probably took him a long ass time to work their way through bc like. they were a little busy trying to figure out their relationship with gender

which! speaking of! they always knew that they didn’t 100% connect with being a Boy, like… the same way that he could say that he liked green beans sometimes, or they only wanted pepperoni on their pizza sometimes, he only felt like a boy sometimes. it wasn’t that they felt like a girl the rest of the time, though. they just didn’t have the words to describe what they felt like the rest of the time — not until they took their first gender studies class at community college. finding out that there was a community of people who were like him was a huge weight off of their shoulder n also kind of marked the point where they could start figuring out their sexuality

i think tito has a very Cozy home but like .. they just embody a lot of coziness to me in general. he definitely has a lot of plants, n 100% of their furniture n decor are thrifted but he’s a cancer so we know tht means their home n making sure they’re comfy there is very important

tito is very very Very fiercely protective of his people n you have to definitely prove yourself in order for them to let you anywhere near his people. like when the ghosts first showed up they absolutely had to earn their trust before they would let anyone go near like.. allegro mainly. perhaps nocturne also had to win his trust before tito was like Okay with them being around the ghosts bc ksdjfds he’s a cancer at heart n has an unbearable amount of love to give

king of emojis tbh djfksdj i genuinely don’t think he knows how to send a text without an emoji unless they’re like.. actually rly upset.. but Usually big on emojis. every time that he gets the chance to say “no ❤️'' their soul leaves their body a little bit in excitement

tito’s favorite season is winter and every single year when it rolls around they’re devastated that it’s too warm in california for it to snow 😔 he’s never seen snow in his life but he loves it n is very determined to see it one day 

he’s a Can’t Drive gay 😔 but they grew up in the city so what do we rly expect from him? if we’re being honest with ourselves? nothing! instead they skateboard wherever they can n take the subway wherever they can’t <3 n is very jealous that ghosts don’t need subway cards

when they do happen to go on drives However they are the world’s greatest passenger seat dj .. n Yes it is a very elaborate radio show setup complete with regularly pausing for radio host talk show segments, calling in requests, and made-up giveaway games

they play the piano n the guitar n that’s all right now but i think he would Love to learn a new instrument they just never had the resources or the time 

speaking of music… it is definitely kind of on hold right now as far as actually performing But i think they definitely try to do little open mic night things when they can… perhaps he tried to push for the bar he works at to have an open mic night? idk <3 but even when playing music in public isn’t an option they’re always writing songs (or trying to) at home, usually in the late hours of the night after an evening shift at the bar 

i think tht he definitely still Does speak spanish but like. not as much with other people anymore after their dad passed away. partially bc luis was the primary person who spoke spanish w tito.. angela only spoke english.. so like once he was gone they didn’t really have a reason to speak it.. but Also even when he Does have a chance to i think it feels a little too much like it’s reopening the wound in a way tht tito just tries to Avoid

fictional characters tht inspired tito? julie molina kdsjfdsk <3 also miguel from coco n Honestly both julian And yadriel from cemetery boys

okay im so sorry for all the words <3 if ur still reading this thank u pls message me on discord let’s plot <3

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[peacheenie]

hl1/2 gordon scentric hc time

im rly feeling half life in this chillis tonight so....some....hc’s about everyones favourite free man, i have a lot so enjoy

-he’s actually mute and uses sign language but only about 50% of the time cuz people either don’t know what he’s saying or he can’t do it whilst holding like 20 different guns/weapons to protect himself so instead he makes big gestures a lot or writes down what hes trying to say (pretty much everyone at black mesa could understand him via sign language so he was very comfortable using it, during hl2 however he has to keep reminding himself not everyone is fluent and it frustrates him to no end)

-when he tries to speak it hurts and the most sound he can make is mumbles or little sqeaks so if theres ever a time he needs to alert someone to dangers reeeal quick he ends up hurting his throat a lot to try and make some kind of warning noise thats loud enough, he can hum tho and enjoys humming along to music as well as when he’s signing to try and convey some kind of emotion along with his facial features of which he emotes a LOT

-his hand writing looks like that of an actual dotors and its neat cursive but very hard to read so if he’s trying to write as a form of communication he just defaults to caps with big spaces inbetween and people (barney) tease him about it constantly (barney)

- hes incredibly short sighted without his glasses and ends up squinting a lot without them on and since he’s usualy default bitch facing he just looks very angry all the time when really he just cant see anything please dont be offended sir he didnt mean to upset you

-is actually very scared all the time abt like everything, hes literally just a scientist who just happened to be “the right man in the wrong place” and was just so determined to try and save those around him during the cascade that he pushed thorough his fears and anxiety to try and get the job done but he def has some form of ptsd after it all, barnicles specifically really freak him out because getting strangled and slowly lifted off of the ground into a row of razor sharp teeth is fucking TERRIFYING and he wouldnt wish it on anyone

-only reason he knows how to use guns is because barney would regularly take him down to the shooting range during their breaks and they’d see who could shoot straightest after a few drinks, barney would always win.

-after hl1 when he was put into stasis and he wakes up in hl2 hes lost like 20 years of his life and hates that fact terribly, all his friends have aged around him but hes still in his 20′s when he shouldnt be and he hates it so fucking much

-he also finds himself missing the feeling of the HEV suit terribly during the begining of his re-awakening in city 17, he’d grown so used to the feeling of it on him and keeping him safe that it makes him anxious without it and the cold air on his hands is also uncomfortable so he prefers wearing gloves all the time, when he finally gets the HEV suit back it feels like a weight has been lifted and he can finally stop worrying, the suits voice is also a comforting sound beccause its familiar and a sign that he’s not alone, same goes with the healing station and suit charging noises; they’re a comforting sound to hear and he enjoys humming along to the vrwwwrrrr vrrwwrrr vrwrrrrwr the machine makes when he plugs into the port

-he worries about overdosing on the healing stations a lot though; the morphone they give out is indefinite and once during the casade he’d passed out from taking to much and woken up to a zombie very slowly approaching him from down a corridoor but with how drowzy he was it was it was a horrible struggle to lift the gun and fire between dozing in and out

-he gets attached to people quickly since also during the cascade days he’d regularly meet people in danger who only had him to keep them safe so he tries his absolute hardest to make sure he can protect people even if that means he gets shot in the process, the suit usually protects him/heals him anyway so he’s used to it and if theres danger he almost default/automatically moves infront of people to make sure they’re okay without any concern for his own safety

-he also reeeally likes antlions and will pet them any chance he gets, he tried to do it when he first saw them and almost lost a hand so it makes him upset he has to kill them but when he finally gets the bug bite from the vorts? ohhhhohohoh he pets so many antlions, it again makes him sad he has to use them as like fodder for turrets and stuff but if an antlion comes back to him after taking down a turret or killing a combine he gives them extra pets and becomes a very proud papa

-since hes technically in his 30′s (and would be nearing his 40′s had he not been in stasis) he feels more of a big brother/fatherly bond toward Alyx since he’d also met her as a baby and finds any romantic involvement with her awkward, (so Elli’s comment on him “wanting grandkids” he ends up slapping the man on the arm with a frown to which Eli just laughs) this doesn’t help his attachment issue though so when they have to seperate to do things away from the other he worries for her safety even though she constantly assures him she can take care of herself and he KNOWS she can. he still really can’t help but worry though...

after hl2 ep2:

-when eli dies i dont like to think they all straight away go to mossman and instead get to spend some time mourning at the base, this gives gordon some time to finally sit down and relax for a little bit but he finds it incredibly hard to even take off the HEV suit at first because to him there was no passage of time between being put into stasis and waking up in city 17 all those years later; he’d closed his eyes, went into the portal and then the next second awakened in a completely unfamiliar place, in unfamiliar clothes with unfamiliar people (he definitely had a panic attack before geting off that very first train) and the thought of that happening again when he’s not prepared is terrifying.

-when he does finally take off the suit (after a lot of helping and reasuring from alyx, kleiner and barney a LOT from barney; theyre very good friends (;) he takes to wearing very comfy and heavy clothes such as jumpers, ponchos etc as well as a bullet proof vest because it makes him feel safe, the HEV suit gloves he retires entirely cuz theyre gross, definitely covered in his own blood and have been through hell so instead he has a bunch of different pairs he cycles through depending on how he feels that people around the base give him after learning about his fondness towards them

-he secretly carries a gun around with him even when they’re not in any danger becaus it’s another added layer of security and becaus he literally can’t trust things to not go bad EVER; now though nothing will go wrong again on his watch because he’ll be ready for it!! this really doesn’t help with his nerves though since he’s constantly looking for something to go wrong

scene specific hc’s:

-i always think abt that one specific sene in the train that gets derailed where alyx is trapped by a stalker and gordon has to pull it away with his gravity gun and i always imagine him franticly pulling it away with so much alarm on his face and such panic, when shes free though and has to stop to catch her breath gordon would give her a hug and make sure she’s okay cuz it must have been terrifying to have that thing screaming inches from ur face, gordon just instantly  goes into protect mode

-another scene that always comes to mind is when you first encounter an advisor and it makes that horrid loud noise where alyx is holding her head; i imagine gordon almost dropping the gravity gun in a panic to try and cover his ears because he doesn’t handle loud noises too well and it freaks him out so much alyx has to help him get out of the room since he kind of locks up on hearing it

-same goes when you get trapped by an advisor in a barn and almost become food for it; gordon is absolutely terrified at getting so up and close without being able to move that when it finally does drop him he starts hyperventilating and alyx has to protect him from the oncoming combine for a little while before he can catch his breath

-last scenes but some of my favorites are the ENTIRE sections of gordon being up close with breen, 

first being the teleporter malfunctioning and when gordons heavy breathing i imagine hes trying super hard not to start freaking out/hyperventilating and when breens doing his “i want that twink obliterated” spiel and then looks up and says his name, gordon almost looses it and internally is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

second is when youre trapped in that like...metal contraption thing the stalkers are carried in and brought to breens officce and that entire section where breen is talking directly TO YOU i just adore it becausee gordon would have been looking away awkwardly unable to actually respond and furrowing his eyebrows at the nerve breen has upon thinking you would ever agree to any such terms and would definitely also spit in breens face as a response just like alyx did since he can’t use words

okay that is all, if you read all of these you’re amazing and i love u and also gordon hes an amazing “character” because i can insert as many of my own quirks into him as i please because valve literally never gave him a personallity :^)

[ingenves]

     hello angels ! the name’s moose ( she/her ) & i love bugs and poutine. it’s late af so im off to bed right away but ! i would love to plot with each and every single one of you so definitely feel free to HMU ( on here or u can ask for my discord if u prefer ) or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to u ! i don’t have a wc page or anything sorted out yet but we rollin. you can peep saskia’s pinterest board HERE for the aesthetic™ 

     ⌈ sophie turner, cisfemale, she/her ⌋ hey, is it SASKIA GRAHAM that you’re looking for? you know, the TWENTY-ONE year old ACTRESS. typically i see them hanging around NEPTUNE’S DINER so you could try there! i hear they’ve been in living in KINGSTON for ONE YEAR. gristol wouldn’t be the same without them, right? anyway, whenever i see them they make me think of fresh manicures, sweet nothings whispered in french & broken champagne bottles on a tile floor. 

ok so! lil miss saskia is the only child of infamous director lloyd graham and his second wife anna, a talent agent. they split up when she was a baby and although she was born in london, she primarily grew up in paris where she lived w her father and her step mom anaïs who was just an up-and-coming designer at the time of their marriage

as u can imagine, she grew up living this extravagant and opulent lifestyle that she’s since become addicted to

it was hard to be a normal kid w the parents she had, but.....all of her friends were also a part of the same world she was. as far as her childhood goes, ofc she was super duper privileged so it wasnt HARD but it also wasnt always easy??

she started acting when she was v young. she started her career in theatre as a child actor and then occasionally making small appearances in various movies that her father was working on, but her career rly took off when she hit her teen years.

she’s got a reputation for being a scream queen, most of her filmography consisting of indie french horror and thriller movies. she’s fairly well-known in france and in europe for her work but not so much in the americas unless ur into french / foreign film ig?

her father has always had most of the control over her career. although he had no part in getting her roles, he did police what she could and couldn’t audition for and he did his best to make sure that she stayed scandal-free and out of the tabloids to avoid taking a dump on the family name u know?

which is........kind of funny bc her dad is WELL KNOWN for being horrible to work with, short-tempered, demanding, all that good stuff. he’s also just.....rude. and elitist and he thinks he’s better than everyone else even tho his movies arent even THAT good. satan himself, probably

so ofc saskia didn’t want to work w him either and it was exhausting having to be his DAUGHTER when he’s so controlling

they had this MASSIVE fight eventually, where saskia basically called him out for trying to control every aspect of her life instead of just letting her LIVE and take her career and her life in the direction she wanted to. he claimed that every single one of her accomplishments was because of HIM and because of their name and without all their money she would be nothing and that made her FURIOUS bc as much as yes, her family did help her get her foot in the door and get auditions, all of the work she’s done and every role she’s gotten was because she earned it, not because of anyone else

in an act of spite and to give her dad two big ole MIDDLE FINGERS she moved to the place her father hates the most, new york city. that’s what she told him, at least, but she settled in gristol instead, just a short drive away from the big apple

she never rly pictured herself living there since.....paris is her entire life and she’s never rly had an interest in expanding her horizons to american film but.........now that she’s tryna piss off her dad she just might :/

ditched her big fancy house for a cute lil apartment that she adores

tbqh she’s just been taking a hiatus from her career since moving, straight chillin most of the time , kind of laying low and getting her ducks in a row, letting her father stew while not knowing wtf she’s been doing for a year

but she’s bored bored BORED and she doesn’t want to go back home so she’s just getting her career going again, going to auditions and doing the whole dealio u know how it be

that abt sums it up??? let me talk abt her cancer ass now

she’s SUPER good at keeping a facade and then going home to cry herself to sleep afterwards

lowkey insecure af

riddled w trust issues

as u can tell, she is a spiteful little shit

she doesn’t like to talk abt her feelings but then.....gets offended when ppl dont realize when she’s upset or angry??? *lisa from the room vc* i don’t want to talk about it

she takes criticism very personally and will most definitely get angry at u if u criticize her in any way

wtf is a stable emotion???? she has no idea

her life is a constant cycle of overreacting to things

don’t get me WRONG she is actually quite a sweetheart but it’s when u try to call her out or break her trust that she does a fuckin flip flop and goes bananas

she out here destroying herself so no one else can :/

she gets stressed out v easily and always has to take time for herself ahdsjkfg. spa days are what keep her going

loyal af to the ppl who are loyal to her!!!!!

can be lowkey manipulative without even realizing what she’s doing. just a smooth talker rly

ok some lil extra bits for ur consideration

she rly.....had no idea how to live by herself tbqh after moving out. she was LOST. didn’t know how to do laundry or make coffee or do the dishes, she didn’t know SHIT MY GUY. for someone who is v intelligent she rly......had a hard time adjusting to Real life.

occasionally walks the runway for her step-mom but her true Passion is acting

she has to take a nap every day or else she is impossible to deal with

likes to Partay but she always texts her exes when she’s drunk :/

a sentimental BITCH!!!! keeps every letter and birthday card anyone has ever given her. she has money so like.....she prefers to receive sentimental gifts that make her lowkey soft heart Melt.

loves spontaneous trips and adventures

since moving to gristol she’s become less of a fashion bitch and more of a casual comfort hoe but.......the gal always has her nails done

she hasn’t spoken to her dad since she moved away but she talks to her step-mom almost everyday bc she adores that womaN

she absolutely.....adORES american culture. she watched a ton of american tv growing up and she idolizes that shit dude

fluent in french & english ofc!! has a lil french accent

ok that’s all i have rly thank u for reading this far if u did and if not i feel u man and i still love u 

[hcrcwitz]

back at it with bby #2! (but not #2 in my heart). again pls....HMU or LIKE THIS to plot!!

❝   jake gyllenhaal.  cismale.  he/him.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  calvin hyde  with  open  arms.  the  thirty-seven  year  old  funeral director has  been  living  here  for  thirty-seven years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  clever  &  self-reliant  type,  but  their  taciturn  &  irritable tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city. 

ok so, cal has lived in lakeview for his entire (sad) life. he’s the only child of two (now retired) high school teachers and he has always been the little emo shit ball he is today.

he was that weird little white kid who would like......burn ants and shit with a magnifying glass probably. he was definitely an annoying little shit who had no friends & he thought it was because he was a LOSER but it was actually because he was just kind of rude???

he wasn’t actually THAT bad he just wanted to be left alone and he kind of made that fact known. it was also kinda hard for him to be the son of 2 teachers at his school u know??? he just hated school & wanted ppl to leave him ALONE.

probably only had like 3 friends but he would spend his lunches and free periods just reading outside no matter the weather.

his earliest memory is of his grandpa’s funeral and he’s been very interested in death ever since? LMAO. not in like....a whack serial killer ted bundy kinda way but more in like a.........isn’t it kinda weird that u have to stare at ur dead grandpa before he gets put in the ground kinda way????

but he never rly thought abt it in terms of a career until he started dating his first gf in high school. her dad was a funeral director and he was like 👀 yo this mans is COOOOL AF

it got to the point where he would spend more time with his gf’s dad than his actual gf bc....he is a FREAK and even though they broke up eventually, cal went to work at his funeral home right after high school & became his apprentice. a few years later & he was working at the funeral home full time as a licensed embalmer & funeral director!

he’s been there ever since and tbqh he is a complete workaholic. ppl die every day man he’s always busy, on call 24/7, helping families arrange burials and funerals and all that jazz. he much prefers the embalming and paperwork side of his job where he can work alone in peace. comforting grieving families is absolutely exhausting and it’s taken a toll on him. the mans needs a VACATION he’s never been sis...................he needs some sunlight. he needs some milk :/

his HERO and MENTOR has since passed (cal handled the funeral himself, ofc) and the funeral home was passed down to him, so he is now also the owner & manager. 

he was married once upon a time!!!!!!!! he loved his wife v much but he is very bad at communicating and expressing his feelings and he tends to busy himself with work when things get tough so whenever they had a fight, he would disappear and just work work work. they were together for four years before they separated and eventually divorced. 

now he is just.............alone. with his cat, gomez.

my boi....

again, he likes to be alone. he is kind of awkward, kind of anti-social, just generally uncomfortable around ppl, especially if he doesnt know them. he’s pleasant enough but he just would rather not meet new ppl if he doesnt have to LMAO.

he is ALWAYS tired. the man doesnt sleep, let me tell u. doesn’t help that he’s always drinking coffee tbh. he can stop whenever he wants he just....doesnt want to.........

bc he is so tired he is also very easily irritated & quite snappy. he is just kind of negative & rude & grouchy & snappy and i am so sorry for him.

but is he lonely???? absolutely. the mans has convinced himself he needs a solitary life and yet............sir??? something is missing?????? what is it??????

all he can do is cuddle his cat & then get upset when that lil shit yeets away bc a cat cannot be contained. 

very out of touch w his emotions and likes to pretend he is a robot who feels nothing. not to be depressing af but honestly........catch him at like 4am in bed crying bc the weight of his JOB and his CRUSHING LONELINESS catches up to him sometimes 

then he watches a stupid movie and feels better

he’s playin himself

he is VERY bad at dating and relationships and flirting!!!! he’s very oblivious to flirtation tbh. u can straight up offer to suck his dick and he’d be like “oh they’re just being nice!!!!” how he managed to have a wife is beyond me but he did!!!!

he’s.....lowkey soft (but dont tell him that :/ )

what else can i say

likes 2 read

especially likes 2 read when he’s havin a bubble bath

he is not sure if he wants to get married again. also not sure if he wants to have kids ever (even tho he is soft around them). the grown ass man just doesnt rly know what he wants??? and that is Okay. life is confusing sometimes, man. 

he rly does love his cat

doesn’t rly drink alcohol bc his family has a history of addiction but he does smoke shame cigarettes when he’s stressed

all black everything, always. looks emo all the time bc he is.

he be lookin sleek tho, he’s v good at keeping himself well-groomed

smart af yet somehow still a clown :/

[unproduciblesmackdown]

so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts. 

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

[modernlcve]

*  —  stats —   trevor portillo !

* — basics !

full name:   trevor keegan portillo. nickname(s):   none. age:   twenty - three. date of birth:   february twenty-ninth. place of birth:   boston,  massachusetts. gender:   nonbinary. pronouns:   he / they. sexual orientation:   bisexual. level of education:   high school graduate.

* — physical !

tattoos:  none.   wants em but is just too scared of needles :pensive: piercings:   none. notable features:   anyone ever notice how wicked broad noah centineo’s shoulders are.    yeah. weakness(es):   too soft. scar(s):  gnarly scars on his right knee and right elbow, short scar down his left shin,   scar on his jaw,   and a few smaller ones on his hands.

* — domestic !

occupation:   he’s got balls in the air.   fry cook.   plays drums for his dad’s band.   interns at a local radio station. residence:  apartment.   maybe roomies who knows. social class:   working class. parents:   mandy portillo,   age 43,   raised him on her own from the day he was born til she met his step-dad.   she’s a little new age,   a little funky,   she teaches yoga and blows glass.   jason portillo,   age 40,   his step-dad that he considers nothing less than blood.   apart of trevor’s life since he was like 4. has no contact with his birth father.   doesn’t even know the guy. siblings:   one younger half-brother,   morgan “mo” portillo,   age 12.   trevor gets a kick out of busting his balls,   because he’s 12. extended family:   largely disconnected from his mother’s family.

* — personality !

positive traits:   altruistic,   gregarious,   loyal. negative traits:   reticent,   sophomoric,   hypersensitive. myers-briggs ( x ):   isfp;   the adventurer temperament:   melancholic. moral alignment:   neutral good. horoscope:  pisces,   the fish hogwarts house:  hufflepuff.

* — favorites !

movie:    the big lebowski. tv show:   workaholics. book:   lord of the flies. drink:   blue monster.   idk the flavor name. food:   he will eat...   anything.   and love it. animal:   ducks. color:   blue. song:   the air that i breathe by the hollies. artist:   the animals. celebrity crush:   harry styles

* — impressions !

first impression:  he’s a lil funky.   he doesn’t really get weird about strangers so he’ll have no problem telling u personal or weird things abt himself right off the bat.   he’s an open book and he just wants to make friends :) self impression:   trevor just sees himself as a normal dude.   not a particularly high self esteem but not a  horribly low one either.   he thinks he could be doing better,   but he ain’t doing too bad either. lover impression:   trevor wants Great Profound Love so yeah maybe he’s a little sappy in this department. he’s doting,   he genuinely likes making other people happy and who better to channel that into than a Lover.

* — et cetera !

turn ons:   nice people,   familiarity,   a good laugh. turn offs:   people who try and live a too fast paced life. drink/drugs/smoke:   yes/weed/alternates between smoking and vaping,   just depends on the week he’s having. dominant hand:   right. clean or messy:   messy. early bird or night owl:   night owl. hobbies or special talents:   he is a genuinely good drummer. he’s got a good internal clock.   gets along with kids well.

* — QUESTIONNAIRE !

01. where was your character born? what brought them to boston? what do they like most about the town?

trevor was born in boston.   he stuck around because he likes it well enough.   he likes being close to his family and friends,   he likes living in a city big enough that he can still get lost sometimes,   even though its the only home he’s ever known.   he likes the nightlife.   he likes seeing frequent newcomers,   a new cast of faces every now and again.

02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?

trevor’s family is his parents and his half-brother.   they all get along pretty well.  his mom is a free-spirit,   it’s hard to not get along with her.   his step-dad is one of his best friends,   he just feels like they Get each other and they share similar interests so they’ve always kind of palled around.   his brother is in middle school and going through a bit of a douche phase,   but they’re all pretty sure they can pull him through it.   he’s good friends with sylvia and riley,   in their own ways.   he knows they have a history  ( granted he probably doesn’t fully understand it ),   but,   ultimately,   isn’t the kind of person to let their beef get in the way of his being friends with both of them.

03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?

trevor’s biggest fear is never finding stability.   he knows he’s too young to have everything on Lock,   but he hates change,  and always has.   he wants something steady,   a real job,   friends who’re sticking around,   a partner he can trust,   just some semblance of the easy domestic life he’s always been so into.   he doesn’t bring it up much because i don’t think even he realizes just how scared he is of feeling like he does now,  kind of in between and looking forever.

04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?

trevor was in love with one of his best friends in high school.   they dated on and off for three years,   but,   in the end,   it was decided they were just better off as friends.   they still hang out,   whenever she’s in town,   and it’s not especially weird or awkward.   he had a boyfriend at the end of high school and his first year out that he’d say he was in love with.   they’ve got a little more bad blood.   for someone that dates as much as he does,   you think there’d be more than that,  but he doesn’t make it to In Love with most the people he sees now.   his heart is broken almost always though.   of course his exes were worse,   but like when that thottie unmatches him after a lively conversation about grill food?   yeah it hurted.

05. your character is doing intense spring cleaning. what is easy for them to throw out? what is difficult for them to part with? why?

im gonna stop answer this too because i feel like i keep saying the same thing in them all.   eventually,   i’ll have this down to like 3 questions jsfdhskjdfh

06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.

making moves.    he’s likely working at the diner.   if not,   he’s probably loitering around the radio station.   he loves playing music,   but,   ultimately,   doesn’t want to pursue performance as a career.   he is interested in getting work at the station though,   and working with music more tangentially.

07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?

oh buckle up.   trevor’s favorite song is the air that i breathe by the hollies which is.   a choice.   but its because when he was eight and he heard it at his parents wedding he was pretty sure it was the most Romantic song that had ever been written not that its a huge priority for an eight year old but consider.   he’s a freak.

09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset?

trevor’s microchip will short circuit over like.   generally people being mean he just Cannot understand why you cant be fundamentally nice it costs zero dollars to not be an asshole.   he’s also particularly sensitive to people calling him dumb.   when he’s upset,   he likes to be working,   talking to customers and pretending everythign is Okay.

10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?

his mom burned enough incense there weren’t a lot of Heavy Kitchen Smells but when she broke out the online recipes for at home vegan curry she found it was always a Fragrant night.

[jungnoir]

just to continue off of that yukhei head canon, jungwoo as a florist or part of the school gardening club? thank you :) (also love u so much this is the shy anon who thinks ur ethereal but can not show her love as well as she wants to❤️🌹)

(jungwoo requester) also i’m sorry i never specified what i wanted it as but tbh anything you’d like to do because you’re amazing and i have full trust no matter what you do:)❤️            

a/n: here you go!! my dumb self accidentally lost the first half of this yesterday so i tried to recreate the magic as much as possible. and ok!!! i was super excited to get going on this when i got this message!! i love you too omg and dw!! i’ll make these headcanons to keep up with the bad boy!yukhei ones. I hope you enjoy~ the bad boy!yukhei headcanons in question are here. also, i’ll stop blabbering soon, but i recommend listening to this song when you read this :)

jungwoo got into gardening because of his parents influencing him from a young age

jungwoo’s parents were v v much crazy about nature and grew up in the countryside, so when they moved closer to the city, they severely missed having all that open space and being surrounded by green

no matter where jungwoo’s family lived, they always had a garden and they always employed jungwoo’s help

whether he was carrying tiny potfuls of dirt across the yard or whether he was watering the plants, he was always doing something with his parents out there

as he got older, he started doing more heavy labor

in fact, by the time he was thirteen, he could tell a farmer a thing or two about a thing or two ok ok

also by thirteen, his parents gave jungwoo a small section of the backyard where he could start his own garden

while he loved to plant flowers, he also liked to plant veggies and herbs and the like

he has this cute little aloe vera plant that has gotten quite big recently (!)

he makes a lot of homemade remedies and things

now, being best friends with bad boy!yukhei, he also knows a variety of plants that can be used to treat cuts, burn, bruises, you name it

sometimes yukhei just shows up at jungwoo’s door and his parents are like “jungwoo!! he got hurt again!!”

and jungwoo just quietly leads yukhei into the bathroom, sits him down on the toilet and has a lil upset expression on his face as he treats yukhei’s scraped knuckles with salves that he made himself for things,,, just like this,,, cause goddamn it wong yukhei u are a mess

it doesn’t happen as often seeing as yukhei is like. Large and scares most contenders off pretty easily with his words and those thick eyebrows but sometimes a dude gets a lil brave every now and then and yukhei has to show ‘em a thing or two

yukhei always likes to be cute tho, just to convince jungwoo not 2 be mad

yukhei: u kno,,, jungwoo, ur my best friend :)

jungwoo: unfortunately

yukhei: whenever u help me out like this i just think abt how like,, u and me? we’re an iconic duo u kno???

jungwoo: what

yukhei: ur like the village mage and i’m the humble but emotionally motivated warrior protagonist u kno

jungwoo: yukhei i don’t know what you’re trying to SAY

yukhei is kinda mad that jungwoo doesn’t appreciate his analogies but i mean,,, it’s Fine that’s just the problem with being best friends with the village mage and not sidekick #1

even tho jungwoo acts absolutely exasperated with yukhei and yukhei loves to tease the eldest, they’re both fiercely protective of each other

like yeh yukhei will avoid abt 95% of the fights that ppl try to start with him bc all he has to do is buck up and ppl run but like?? one time a fool came up to him and started talking shit about jungwoo’s gentle persona and long story short yukhei was almost expelled and that aforementioned fool switched schools the following week

Nobody Disrespects Jungwoo In Yukhei’s House

and while jungwoo is definitely not the fighting type (he much prefers using his words to get his points across), he also has done a lot of research and has access to several recipes for poison so like don’t fuck with yukhei is what i’m trying to say

don’t ask why he has those just don’t fuck with yukhei and u won’t have to worry about it

anywho :)

it wasn’t until jungwoo started his first year at school that he realized that he’d always,, gardened by himself

and it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy his solitude!! it was just that he’d never really realized that he wanted to share his hobby with anyone until he got to high school

even tho yukhei was his best friend, they clearly didn’t share the same hobbies as yukhei would rather rot inside all day than go outside and “let the sun cook me from the inside out while doing physical labor”

and even though his parents gardened, they didn’t do it as often anymore

so!!! lil jungwoo just decides to pitch his idea to the school about starting a gardening club

at first, there’s only jungwoo so the school isn’t totally sure they should even bother but then jungwoo brings along a few friends who are interested in joining and they let it be

and the club absolutely flourishes over the next four years

it rapidly collects members of all types and backgrounds, people who lived in rural areas and people who had been at their closest to plants in a flower shop

jungwoo is just so bright and friendly and sweet that a lot of ppl join when he asks despite not knowing a thing about gardening

and by the time jungwoo is about to graduate, he’s got such a following and ppl who are just as passionate as him who want to take over when he heads off to college (yukhei told him he better take a gap year so they could go into college as freshmen together but that choice was still pending oops)

the school had seen how passionate they all were so early on and decided to devote a part of the land at the school to the club to do with as they wished, so jungwoo had the great idea of creating a mini garden paradise

they all pitch in to decorate the garden so it has a beautiful stone walkway with trees that line it and flowers planted all around. benches are placed every couple of feet and it is the Perfect place for students to come whenever they feel particularly stressed during the end of the school year and need somewhere that’s just not hectic

the cool thing about this lil garden is that on holidays, they dress it up!!

so for the christmas eve, they string lights through the trees and hang ornaments on them while the school choir sings carols the whole night

and on valentine’s day, they also string lights through the trees but add little foam red and pink hearts to hang from the branches and on each heart, you can buy one and write a name of someone you love

it can be your family members, your best friend, a crush, or your significant other

it can even be ur cat!!!

(jeno has been doing this for the last three years and we’re honestly all concerned he loves nothing else)

the cool thing about these hearts is that you can either write the name of who you love anonymously and hang it on the tree (and whose ever name you wrote gets to take the heart home with them if they’d like) OR you can sign it ;)))

the tradition is, if you sign the heart and that person finds it and brings it to you, that means they accept your confession

despite jungwoo being the key organizer of this v-day event, he’s never participated

however

that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been confessed to more than a dozen times

when his mom saw how many he’d brought home with him since sophomore year she asked him if she could make a collage and hang it up in his room but he was like mom!!! no!!!! that’s lame

so he keeps them all in a shoe box under his bed

and when he feels a little down or ignored, he’ll pull the box out and remember that some people out there like him a lot

there were all unsigned, but sometimes jungwoo would wish that one of them would be signed at least

part of him would feel himself grow expectant every time someone came to his table to get a heart and he’d wonder “is that one of them?” “will they do it again this year?” “is this the year they sign it?”

the other members would often joke with him abt how his eyes would light up when someone would buy one and would always fidget a lil as he thought about all the possibilities

you had joined jungwoo’s gardening club your second year when your counselors started encouraging you to join clubs to meet people

honestly, there were a lot of strange clubs around

you had almost joined the gaming club but then you found out about this school gardening club, and something abt it just,, called to u

your first time you went, you found a piece of paper crudely taped to the door of the classroom they were supposed to meet up in and all it said was “outside”

so, you went outside

and sure enough, in the back of the school in the large expanse of land back there, you found a bunch of students near this garden all crouched down and doing… Something

you made your way over, a little confused, and tapped the shoulder of the person nearest you

they have a huge ass sun hat on so when they turn around, you weren’t really expecting such a,, good looking guy,,, oh. hm

jungwoo narrows his eyes at you, but it’s only bc he has to look up and the sun is getting into his eyes “hello! can i help you?” he asks cheerily, pushing himself up from the ground and clapping the dirt off his gloves

he’s much taller than you expected, so you step back a little and try to remember what u had even came all this way to do in the first place lol

“ah! uh… this is the gardening club, right?”

jungwoo was smiling before, but now he grins so wide that his front two teeth resemble bunny teeth

cuteeeeee

“it sure is~ i’m jungwoo, the head of the club. did you want to join? i promise, you’ll have a lot of fun” he promises this to you and you absentmindedly think that even if he tried to sell you rat poison under the premise it was candy, you would believe him

but this club is rlly candy in this case bc once you’ve told him your name and joined, you find that it’s so much more fun than you had expected

you had really just wanted to be able to tell your counselors you were into something but now,, now u were really passionate about this

something about how jungwoo ran the club made you so interested in gardening

he taught you the basics from the ground up, but it wasn’t super hard???

he was always very simple and forward with what you needed to do, so you had v lil chance of messing up

he was also v friendly and was constantly asking questions abt your life

he always sounded so interested!!! even in the lil things

like what was your last class of the day? what flower appealed to you the most?

he helped you plant your first “honorary” flower as a member of the club

on the walkway, each member gets a flower to take care of up until graduation, after which then the other members will keep it alive to remember them and their contributions to the club

jungwoo just has a lot of sappy cute traditions ok

he tells you that you can plant anything, so you choose the flower you like most and he tells you you can plant it right next to his

even tho… there’s tons of space…. jungwoo…… it doesn’t have to be…. next to yours

this also means that when you all go out to check on the garden, you have to stand right next to him to check on your flower

your knees touch his as you water them together, make sure they’re getting enough light, etc

he always loves to talk to you about the flowers

honestly sometimes he just chatters and chatters and you’ve noticed over time that it’s a nervous habit of his

it was,,, rlly cute

since it was fall when you joined, jungwoo informed you that it was important to care for the flowers so that they wouldn’t be too affected by the weather change

you remembered one cloudy october day when the club couldn’t meet bc of the expected rain storm that evening

you had been about ready to head home for the day when you saw something strange through the windows, where the garden was

there, you could see a very frustrated jungwoo trying to set up tarps over the garden to protect them from the harsh weather

he hadn’t quite gotten it set up right

it was supposed to stand like a small tent over the flowers that weren’t covered by the trees, but it kept slipping off the middle post

rushing out to the patio, you drop your backpack next to the back door and sprint over to help jungwoo steady it

he’s surprised you’re there, but smiles appreciatively and gets back to work hammering it in the ground on the other side

“thanks,,, i honestly thought i could do this myself but i guess not” he rubs the back of his neck and laughs shyly

you just chuckle, “i saw you struggling and couldn’t help but come over”

jungwoo clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “where would i be without you, (y/n)?”

you bite your lip and look away before he can see how flustered that comment alone makes you

somewhere along the way, he’s gotten the tarp set up correctly, so he’s just about ready to call it a day when all of a sudden,,, it starts beating down rain

Hard

jungwoo, in surprise, grabs an extra tarp he’d taken and throws it over his shoulders before coming over to you and handing you the other side

all he tells you is to “run!” and you just start sprinting toward the cover of the trees because it’s the closest thing to you

and,,, you’re standing awfully close to each other

you don’t register jungwoo is laughing until he unknowingly presses his chest against your shoulder, the vibrations from his laughter shocking you out of your concentrated stare on the crazy rain that forced the sky to be dressed in a dreary grey

you look up at jungwoo and find him grinning at you, “why’d you run this way and not toward the school?”

the rain is beating against the tarp despite the tree cover, but it’s not nearly as much like it is out on the open grass

“oh,,, uh,,, well it was closer and.,,, uh,,,”

yeh no u can’t even find the logic in your choice

but jungwoo doesn’t seem so bothered by it

he looks around the garden and sighs, “i’m glad you came to help me when you did… otherwise the flowers would be in trouble”

you just nod, trying not to focus on how warm his skin is against your own

he suddenly crouches down so you’re uneven and you blink at him, “jungwoo, what are you doing?”

“do you wanna run out there again?”

“uh,, not right now, no”

“then let’s just sit here and watch the rain. it looks really nice like this”

to be honest, you couldn’t see how pretty it could really be sitting outside in the rain, but he was also holding one half of the tarp and it wasn’t like you could really leave him like that,,, so u sit down

you both have to cross your legs so the rain won’t get you wet, and while you’re both sitting on the walkway and looking out as thunder rumbles and flashes of lightning show in the distance, jungwoo says very softly “most people don’t like this kind of weather because it’s wet and cold and disruptive… but i find it kind of peaceful. even though it isn’t very nice for my garden, i still like it in a way. it’s like the world telling you to stay in for the day and rest”

you look over at him once more, but he’s focused on the sky, eyes alight with the same kind of admiration that he has for his flowers

he looks captivating

you smile almost instinctively, “a gardener who likes gloomy weather?”

he chuckles, meeting your eyes, “if you know plants, you know that they don’t just need sunshine all the time. they also need rain. you come to appreciate both and set up protection when needed. kinda like people… though it takes us longer to realize that for ourselves in comparison to plants.”

you’re not sure what to say after that, so instead, you scoot minutely closer to him and start to look at the rain through the same rose-colored glasses that he does

you don’t realize how long you’ve stayed out there with him until one of the teachers leaving for the day catches sight of you both and tells you to come inside before it gets too late and the storm picks up more

reluctantly, you walk with jungwoo until you get under the patio and its overhead roof, and when you grab your phone out of your bag, you find that you’ve got quite a few missed calls from your parents

“i really should go, my parents are probably pissed i missed their calls” “ok!! i’ll see you tomorrow then?”

he lets the tarp fall, and his hair is a little mussed from the rain that got on him before you both found shelter

his skin is dewy from the humidity

but he looks just as handsome as he did the first day you met

“yeah… tomorrow… hopefully we don’t get caught in the rain again” you joke

jungwoo suddenly turns bashful, “i… wouldn’t really mind”

that’s probably the day you fell for him tbh

you kept your feelings mainly to yourself, and when you found out about the valentine’s tradition, you thought that maybe,,, maybe you could just get those feelings out and be free of them

so you made your own heart instead of buying the ones you guys were selling and put it up on a random tree when you were sure jungwoo wouldn’t see

only, ,, you had expected to be the only one

it turned out that when you and some of your friends went walking through the garden to see if anyone left any for you, you found the trees decorated with so many other hearts that had jungwoo’s name

yours was the only one that was different

before you could go back and snatch it down however, jungwoo had already found it

“why’s this one look different?” you’d heard him ask his friend yukhei, who had begrudgingly tagged along

“idk dude, maybe they wanted to be special. you’ve got like a thousand fans around this school u know”

you don’t know why your heart felt so,,, pained when you heard that

after all, you just wanted to “confess” and get it out of your system in some way so you could move on

why would you care so much that other ppl liked him too? you couldn’t control that!!

however, you went home with a few hearts that your friends had left for you and decided that you would just leave it at that. the next day at school would be as normal, and you would start getting over your crush on kim jungwoo

except,,, it didn’t happen that way

if anything, the years that dragged on only made you more in love with him

and so, every year, you would leave another heart (always homemade, always the only one of his confessions that was different in some way)

and you never dared to sign them

you would stay anonymous and hope that by the time you graduated, your feelings would somewhat dissipate with age

look bih!!! it’s not working!!!

plus,,, it seems like ppl just keep catching on the longer it goes on

especially yukhei

you had never even talked to the guy but he had caught on to you after the first valentine’s incident almost immediately

he just spotted you in the hall, walked up to you, and said (in a very not subtle voice) “so you like my best friend!!”

you had to shush him and pull him around a corner where there were less students

and he’s just grinning like a fool, “you seem cute! don’t hurt him tho or you’ll wish you hadn’t”

and ur just like ;-; pls don’t threaten me i’m just tryna live my life as a simple lovestruck human being

but then he shakes his head “i’m just kidding, i know you wouldn’t hurt him,,, but why,,, won’t u tell him”

u: !!! i’m fine being just friends

yukhei: LOL yeah no really why won’t u tell him

feeling like you can’t continue to lie, you tell him that you feel like you won’t have a chance, what with the fact that he has so many admirers already and you don’t want to take any chances bc i mean,,, u really really like him

and you’ve already become his friend so why jeopardize that

but then yukhei is like “well,, i understand that much, but i think that you should still tell him. if not now, at least before it’s too late. you’re just going to keep feeling unsure and if you miss your chance, you won’t forgive yourself for that…. i know that it’s scary, but i will tell you one thing and you can figure out what to do with it: there’s a great chance your feelings aren’t as one sided as you think”

then he drops his eyelid down in a wink and pats your shoulder and leaves you like that

yet, still, you don’t confess

at least, not yet

you continue to just be friends with jungwoo and leave him that same unique heart in the garden every valentine’s but that’s it

you continue to keep yukhei’s words in mind, but haven’t yet decided went to act on them

fast forward to graduation, everything is all over the place

ppl are getting ready to head straight off to college, others are planning parties to celebrate, and others are just unsure of what to do

jungwoo knows that he’s going to miss this school with his everything

he’s already crying harder than his parents when he wakes up the morning of LOL

yukhei also comes over early that morning just to threaten remind jungwoo that he should wait for him so they can go to college at the same time

jungwoo: who even said you would get into the same college as me?

yukhei: do you think i don’t have my ways. we’re going to college together you fool

for some reason,,, jungwoo just pulls out the box of hearts he’s received

and he sets out the three unique ones he received

he had honestly tried his best to figure out whose writing it could have belonged to, had tried to rule out ppl who bought the hearts the club made, etc.

he never got to find out

he had once jokingly asked yukhei if he made them for him but yukhei just grinned all knowingly and told him he needed to look a lil deeper

and jungwoo was ???? but really anxious to know

but today was the last day for this mystery person to personally confess, and he felt a foreboding feeling. like it wouldn’t happen

he goes through the ceremony, taking pictures and the works

yet, the whole day, he hasn’t seen you

sure, he’d seen you walk the stage, but you had disappeared into the sea of people as soon as the ceremony ended

he had sent you several messages but you hadn’t answered any of them

he had taken his last pictures with the rest of the club and had elected the next leader of the club in a very emotional goodbye

he decided he would find you later, maybe see you before the day ended after he finished having dinner with his parents

he had one last thing he wanted to do before leaving, and that was in the garden

he looked at it now, a beautiful, ever-growing thing that had come a long way since ninth grade

now he was leaving it, and he couldn’t quite believe it

he wandered down the stone walkway and found his flower, right next to yours

he couldn’t help but snap a few pics of them, sending one or two to you in the process

when he had finished up reminiscing, he found himself just sitting on one of the benches and watching as the wind swayed the branches of the trees, distorting the sunlight that filtered through the leaves

he felt himself quietly laughing to himself as he recalled when you and him had gotten caught in the rain here all those years ago

it felt so far away now

tugging his cap off his hair, he leans forward on his knees and sighs

until something pink appears in his vision

it takes him a second to realize there is a little cut out heart in front of his face, hanging from a red string that dangles off a familiar finger

on the heart is his name, in that familiar handwriting that he had never been able to recognize

and underneath his name,,, it was signed

with your name

jungwoo follows the finger to your face, a nervous twitch in your smile as you hold the heart out to him

“i meant to leave this for you before you got here but… yukhei told me you’d beat me to it”

jungwoo breathes out in disbelief before reaching into his pocket for his own homemade heart with your name on it

“i guess we both have funny timing” you laugh, watching him stand from the bench to take your heart from you

jungwoo blushes, “the fact that we’re both here tells me our timing is good enough”

you watch as he puts both your hearts on a branch next to each other, watching the wind blow them back and forth in the breeze. the strings they’re hanging on tangle and it feels like a sign

he looks at you with that same look he gave his flowers, the same look he gave the angry, stormy sky as it shamelessly rained down on the both of you. his hand reaches for yours

“yeah,” you say softly, letting him pull you closer, “i think you’re right”

jungwoo captures your lips in a small kiss that feels like the last three years of longing finally finding a home

you suddenly don’t feel so bad about waiting for the right moment, because had you not, you might not have met jungwoo halfway like this

and it feels so, so good

also yukhei is totally taking pictures from behind a bush but dw about it