#the cig clip will always get me

[angelfrombeneth]

EXES - T . NOTT & M . RIDDLE - PART 1

Mattheo Riddle/Theodore Nott x F!Reader

Summary: Theodore and you are exes. You didn't end on a super bad note, but things were said. After 2 years you're at a Slytherin party and get a bit carried away. But with who? ...You decide

Warnings: Alcohol consumption and cursing

Part 1 > Part 2 (Theo) : Part 2 (Mattheo)

You and Theodore had been together from 2nd year to 4th. It wasn't until the pair of you had a huge argument that you called it quits midway through 4th year. You were friends with his friends but you distanced yourself slightly after the break up. Becoming friends with different people. It wasn't that you and Theo were on bad terms, it was more you were young and immature and didn't know how to love properly.

It was now 6th year, 2 years after you both had broken up. It was way better, both of you had moved on - some more than others and could be in a room together without someone getting hurt. But you always find the time to dig at the boy.

You had become friends again with them all, feeling comfortable around them.

"Hey Y/N" Pansy smiled as she leaned against the lockers with Theo and Enzo.

"Hey, you OK?" You smiled as you reached up to unclasp the claw clip from your hair, letting it fall.

"Yeah! We are having a Slytherin party later if you're interested in coming" She smiled at you.

"You gotta be there Y/N/N! It'll be a hit" Enzo smiled.

You laughed at the pair of them. "Maybe not tonight guys, I've got to study" You looked at Theo, wondering why he wasn't looking at you.

"Whats with the face like a slapped arse, Nott?" You quirked your eyebrow up at him.

"I had a dream about you, last night you know" He looked up at you, the way he stared at you as if you two were the only people in the whole hall.

"OK? And I care because?" You laughed slightly staring at him, your arms crossed against your chest.

"It genuinely felt so real" At this point Pansy and Enzo has moved a bit away giving you two privacy, expecting this to be your argument that you have once a day.

"OK? What happened then" You scoffed, tapping on your heel impatiently.

"We got back together.." Theo reached his hand up to his neck, scratching it as he spoke.

You froze looking at him as you burst out laughing, bending over slightly. "What a fucking nightmare!" You giggled as you walked away from him.

Theodore wasn't a terrible boyfriend but he had a lack of awareness. He took the title of boyfriend but didn't do anything boyfriend worthy. No kisses, no cuddles, no anything. The two of you were together for two years and had barely held hands. Yes, you were young, of course you wouldn't of hooked up, but you wanted atleast a kiss. You believe Theo is starting to regret his younger self because these comments became frequent. Very fucking frequent. Despite his weekly turned nightly escapades with random girls - all he could think about was you.

A few days later you found yourself yet again in the same corridor but it was just Theo this time.

"Hey Y/N-" He shouted, you stopped in your tracks to turn and face him.

"What is it Nott" you groan.

"You free tonight?" He looked at you, leaning against the wall. "Slytherin party"

"I guess I can make time" You crossed your arms looking at him. "Who's asking"

"Me duh" He rolled his eyes. "You're amazing ex boyfriend"

"Only ex boyfriend I have is the spawn of satan" You snorted. His face fell and a look of shock took over. "See you at the party, Notty boy" You skipped away.

The Slytherin party was a hit. You hadn't been to one in fucking forever because you just felt weird I guess. The one time you did, you just felt so.. out of place you left early. The drinks were flowing, smoke from the machine but also cigs filled the room. A Slytherin party was the party where everything would go down.

It wasn't even 5 minutes after being there and you felt a hand on your waist. You turn around to see Mattheo and laugh. "You've clearly had too much to drink already, Matty" You chuckle, poking his chest.

"Not enough to keep me away from you" He smiled as you rolled your eyes and laughed. "Dance with me?" You nodded, walking to the centre of the room with Mattheo.

Mattheo is Theodore's bestfriend so you expected when you both broke up for him to ice you out. Surprisingly he didn't it, he says it's because your 'too smoking hot to ignore' but deep down you both have a good bond. The pair of you used to hang out alot because of Theo that you got to know him, really well.

Now hooking up with Mattheo, wasn't a bad idea but you just didn't want to get messy. It wasn't like you and Theo were going to get back on track. But then you did let the idea plague your mind a few times, besides you were looking hot tonight in a tiny black skirt, practically a belt and a bikini top, so why not.

As you danced with Mattheo, his hands were constantly on your waist, moving with your hips to the beat as he smirked down at you. He's quite hot actually. Fuck was it the alcohol?

You pressed your back to his chest as you slowly moved your body down his, grinding your ass into his pelvis as you bent over slightly. Mattheo was feeling it, his hands were all over your body grabbing up on you.

Maybe it wasn't so bad....

Choose your boy:

(Part 2 will include smut no matter which one you choose)

(A hyperlink to the chapters will be posted once they are out)

Mattheo || Theodore

[desire-mona]

things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)

heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such

the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.

related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!

ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.

this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.

"take your seats boys"

"🧍"

also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny

also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.

something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.

cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.

the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.

keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.

keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.

THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.

the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!

more on todd since im on a roll here.

i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.

the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.

anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.

[dazealigner]

also being a julien girl and being pretty girly i loveeeeeeee the idea of julien w feminine artist!gf ☺️☺️ i think a hc would be super cute talking abt clothes/makeup/hair/body language/music and overall adoration julien and her girly!gf have for each other:)))

where’s my cig i need a gf badly 😔🚬

as a fellow julien and feminine artsy girl, i had waaay too much fun brainstorming for this idea. i will say though that i didn’t really touch on the body language/music part just cause i don’t think being more feminine or masculine can truly determine those things so i didn’t know what to write for those. but here’s some headcanons i stirred up (: RPF UNDER THE CUT

jb x feminine artist!gf hcs

okay so we know that one of the many forms of art artist!gf partakes in is makeup. and i said it when i was responding to an ask, but i’ll reiterate that artist!gf puts in just as much patience and effort into her makeup as she does when she picks up a literal painting canvas

and julien doesn’t really have a lot of experience in the visual arts other than drawing, which she does do sporadically. but she does lack experience in the cosmetic department, not that it interests her a lot.

but she absolutely loves how you take your time doing your makeup. especially when you two are going out because all she needs is ten minutes MAXIMUM to get ready and then she gets to sit down on the toilet seat in your shared bathroom where you’re doing your makeup and just watch you in admiration

but she does hate when you try and leave her by herself to start getting ready HOURS before you guys even have to leave

“where’re you goin’, baby?” she asks when you get up from your spot on the couch next to her

“i’ve gotta get ready.” you reply, giggling at julien because she uses a frown and her big brown (👶🐮) eyes as an offering in hopes that you’ll stay with her a little longer

“we got a couple hours,” and now she’s scooting on the couch to reach where you’re standing before she gently grabs your hand, rubbing and kissing your knuckles, “you can give me just a couple more minutes. .?”

she inevitably ends up winning you over, and when you do leave to get ready, she just follows you

and on the days where she’s tired and she feels like staying at home and having a lazy day but you two made plans with friends prior to that day and it’s too late to back out, she’s extra clingy. once she quickly finishes getting ready, she’s walking into your shared bathroom, lazily wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her head on your back while you’re literally in the middle of doing your makeup. so now you’re incredibly stiff because you’re unable to lean forward to look into the mirror but you put up with it for her.

doing your hair is a whole other story. it can either take you thirty minutes or an hour depending on the day and what you decide to do with it (curl it, straighten it, etc)

but julien actually loves the anticipation of how you’ll wear your hair when you go out (bonus: especially if your hair’s naturally curly and you decided to wear it natural, she’s like ☹️☹️☹️, and if she’s seen baby photos of you with your natural hair, she probably just wants to tackle you lovingly and kiss all over your face)

but she just whole-heartedly loves your hair and it doesn’t matter what hair-type you have. like if your hair’s straight? she loves how it’s so soft and easy for her fingers to glide through. if your hair’s curly? she loves getting to play with the springy curls. and if it were anyone else, you’d scorn them for making your curls lose definition. but when it’s her? your perspective completely changes.

another thing is that she always has your banana clips and scrunchies in her car. so if you last minute decide that you wanna put your hair up, all you gotta do is open the glove compartment and there’s a variety for you to choose from

she’d also keep one of your scrunchies around her wrist when you guys go out in case you wore your hair down and changed your mind throughout the night. or maybe you didn’t wanna use it at that exact moment but you didn’t want the scrunchie on your wrist to ruin your outfit so she’ll wear it for you (lucy and phoebe always snap the scrunchie on her wrist to tease her)

speaking of outfits, you and julien’s fashion styles are completely different

julien’s day-to-day style consists of graphic-tees, plain colored t-shirts, skinny jeans or dickies, and a pair of converse or really any tennis shoes. your day-to-day style consists of babydoll crop tops/tees, washed low-rise jeans, and a pair of sambas.

but i think that occasionally you’d both incorporate the other’s style into your own. like when julien wore that sparkly mesh black crop top when she sung phoebe’s verse in silk chiffon, that was definitely yours. and there’ve been days where you spot a graphic tee in julien’s closet that you know you’re capable of styling in a way that’s suiting to you. and when julien sees you wearing her clothes, she 100% teases you about where you got them from knowing damn well she’s fuzzy on the inside just seeing you wear her things

random (but non-random) bonus: seeing as though she’s always with you when you’re getting ready, she’s picked up on a lot of makeup terminology and what most products do. so when you told her that setting spray makes your makeup last through EVERYTHING, she’ll leave it to herself to be the tester of that. cause is it really 100 wet kisses-proof?

[beansidhebumbling]

You again

The soft glow of his cigarette was all Feyre could see in the darkness of the closet.

'Do you mind Rhysand?'

She hissed, coughing for effect. He had always been an arse.

'Oh shite, sorry.'

He murmered, crushing the cig quickly beneath his patent leather boots. Irritation rippled through her, stiffening her spine. The word shite sounded distinctly wrong in his clipped Eton-educated accent, vowels falling clumsy and cut. He didn't get to keep words gifted to him by her. Not when she wasn't his anymore.

How dare he keep remnants of her in his life? How dare he look upon her like he did moments ago, with a softness once reserved for secret nights under silk sheets?

Trapped with your ex in a closet that stunk of bleach and crisp lemons had to be a circle of hell Dante forgot.

**

Her hand grasped blindly behind her for a light, knocking against the wooden handle of a mop in the process.

'Don't bother love. The light is broken here.'

His voice, full and resonant, holding the memories of late night pancakes in dorm rooms and the smell of rosemary from her mother's bread within it, danced with amusement.

'This all part of some masterplan, you dick?'

She felt him move. His trouser leg brushed against the bare skin of her thighs, clove and amber tickled her nose as his hands rested gently on her shoulders. His next words came from lips far too close to her own to be polite.

'My masterplan is to get you back, Feyre darling. And it's beginning to look like the universe is conspiring with me.'

[141goblin]

Soft: Chapter two.

CW: Mention of body image, reader feels inferior to her best friend. Slightly suggestive.

A/N: Thank you for all the love on part one, i’m so glad people like my writing. It’s heavily self indulgent so it makes me very happy to know it resonates with people other than me🥰

—>Part one

After a little encouragement from Johnny and the rest of my martini, I find myself stood in front of the group of men and Amelia as her and Johnny both introduce me to his friends. I got a wink and a “Nice to meet you, lovely” from Gaz, a firm handshake and a “Pleasure” from Simon…

“And this is Price, our Captain.”

The wide man smiles warmly and gives me a nod.

“Pleasure to meet you, dove.”

I give him a sweet smile and something between and a nod and an awkward bow/curtsy. Why the fuck am I curtsying? Jesus christ, I need another drink already. I feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment but luckily, no one mentions it. They either didn’t notice or decide not to mention it. Either way, I don’t care.

Everyone begins to engage in small talk, leaving me stood there in the awkward predicament of being part of the group, but not being part of the conversation. I feel so ridiculous and out of place, like a child that’s stood with a group of adults, unable to join in on their conversation. I pretend like I don’t care and politely excuse myself and walk towards the exit.

I walk outside and sit down on the stone bench, my feet already aching because of my stupid heels, the cold night air nipping at my skin that simultaneously feels too hot because of the amount of alcohol i’ve consumed.

I rummage around in my handbag and pull out my half-empty packet of cigs that I save for when I drink. I always insist that i’m not a smoker, yet the minute I get a few drinks in my system, i’m puffing away like a chimney, making my breath stink. I light up and inhale it deep, feeling the all too familiar burn in my lungs. The smoke curls up into the night air as I exhale, leaving a ribbon of grey in front of me.

I think back to Amelia and how effortlessly pretty she looks, how she’s able to command everyone’s attention just by walking into a room. She doesn’t have to worry about what she looks like 24/7, she doesn’t have to worry about meeting someone in person for the first time after talking on a dating app and feeling terrified of being rejected and being labelled a ‘catfish’ because they didn’t know I was fat from my pictures. I know it’s not her fault, I know that. But deep down, there’s a bitterness, right in the pit of my stomach. She’s gorgeous, she doesn’t have to even try. The bitterness festers and claws at my insides on nights like this, where i’m left alone to entertain myself while she’s off with Johnny or her other friends. I sound like a child, i’m fully aware of that, but still, I feel it. Deep down in my stomach, a dull ache for more, a longing, a yearning to be that girl. Just as i’m stewing in my own grumpiness and general bitterness, I hear the rumble of a deep voice behind me.

“You alright, dove?”

Normally, i’d make an effort to impress a man like him. He’s handsome, too fucking handsome for his own good. Normally, i’d stub out my cigarette and sit up straight to hide the rolls of my stomach that protrude when I sit comfortably. But right now, I don’t care.

“Fine, thanks.”

Clipped, short, blunt. A subtle hint for him to leave me alone. He either ignores it or is too stupid to pick up on it, because he sits down beside me. Thighs spread, one hand on his thigh, the other wrapped around a cigar.

“Not a fan of parties like this, I take it?”

I scoff and flick some ash off the end of my cigarette before taking another deep puff, letting it fill my lungs, the stench of tobacco creating a cloud around me.

“You could say that.”

He laughs, his broad shoulders shaking up and down, the sound rumbly and deep, settling into my bones. He raises his cigar to his lips and takes a drag, the brown cylinder hissing and glowing red at the tip as he sucks. His voice is thick with smoke when he speaks.

“Mm, I get it. Not for everyone.”

I’ve either had too much to drink, am at the end of my tether, or just feel way too comfortable with this man, because what comes next is an outburst, an angry rant.

“I mean, is it for anyone other than rich arseholes or people who have been dragged into it by those rich arseholes? Groups of people pretending to be something they’re not, just to impress each other. I don’t get it. Fucking ridiculous if you ask me. I’d much rather be curled up on my couch with a shit bottle of wine and a takeaway than be here but I couldn’t say no to Amelia. Pain in the arse…”

I expected him to defend the party, or make some excuse that it’s a chance for like-minded people to ‘network’ or some ridiculous bullshit. But, to my surprise, he just laughs again. A warm, rumbling sound that makes me want to press my ear to his chest. I huff and cross my arms over my chest, glaring out into the night, the grassy courtyard scattered with multiple bush-sculptures, or whatever they’re called.

“Feel better, dove?”

I huff and laugh and hum in response. He gives me a tap on the thigh and stands up.

“I’ll be inside, if you decide to stay. I hope your night gets better, dove.”

I give him my best attempt at a warm smile and then he disappears inside again. I take a deep breath and try to shake off the festering bitterness and grumpiness. I should be inside, with my best friend. I stand up, feeling the ache of my heels and walk back inside to the ballroom, putting on a happy face. I spot Amelia, Johnny, Gaz and Simon at a table towards the front so I make my way over. Amelia gives me a concerned look, a silent ask of ‘You okay?’ and I just nod, dismissing it. I’m not getting into it, not here, not now.

A waiter appears and places a blueberry martini in front of me, without me even having to ask and i’ve never been so grateful. I take a large, burning swig and turn to the group with feigned confidence.

“So, what’d I miss?”

Johnny turns to me without taking his eyes off the stage, where a few people are setting up a microphone and some speakers.

“The birthday boy is about to make his big speech. Should be a good one, better than last year.”

The lads share a few knowing laughs, like they’re all giggling over an inside joke, and i’m about to ask what’s funny when a familiar, gravelly voice talks through the microphone and out of the speakers.

“If I could just have your attention for a minute or two-“

Fuck. Sake.

“Just want to say a quick thank you to all of you for coming to celebrate my birthday with me tonight. It’s lovely to see see you all. I hope you all enjoy your night and make complete use of the bar. Behave yourselves”

If there was ever a time I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole, it’d be now. I went on a big, angry rant to the poor man minutes previously, completely ignorant to the fact that the entire reason this party is taking place is because it’s his fucking birthday. I’ve never felt more like a dickhead in all my life, and i’m certain my face is bright red. Price raises a glass and speaks again.

“To us rich arseholes, at least pretend to be on your best behaviour, eh? Here’s to a good night.”

He ends the speech echoing my previous words with a wink in my direction and I’ve never been more embarrassed in my entire life. I must’ve sounded like some entitled, bitchy woman who thinks she’s above rich, fancy parties. I knew i’d never have a chance with a man like him anyway, but now any flicker of hope there was has been completely stubbed out by my own angry words, fuelled by alcohol and bitterness towards being the ‘single, fat friend’.

I down the rest of my martini in an attempt to hide my beetroot-red face and embarrassment, despite the fact that my head is already a little fuzzy and clouded by the way i’ve been chugging blueberry martinis like my life depends on it. Luckily, no one notices my embarrassment and Price goes off to mingle with other people rather than coming back to our table, so I don’t have to confront him. I make a silent ‘thank-you’ to whoever is up there in the sky, whether it be god or some other deity.

The next few hours go by without any more embarrassments, thank god. I do my best to engage in small talk with the lads while simultaneously avoiding Price. I should apologise, I know that, but I doubt he wants to see me. Or hear my whining voice ever again. Why didn’t he say anything? Why didn’t he cut me off and tell me it was his fucking birthday to save me the embarrassment of going off on some pathetic rant about ‘rich arseholes’? Why am I such a fucking idiot?

I excuse myself from the group and go back to the bar to order another drink. Except this time, I order a glass of water along with my martini. Arguably the only good decision i’ve made all night. No, the only good decision i’ve made in a long time. I plop myself down on the same tiny barstool as a few hours previous and take a few swigs of water to try and sober up a little and cool myself down. My hair has gone from being up in a bun and cute-messy, to being free and wild, cascading down my back. I don’t even remember undoing it, but i’m past the point of caring. My face is flushed, my eyes are glassy and my lipstick is faded and the tiniest bit smudged. A whole mess.

I force my thoughts away from considering the mess i’ve become over the course of the night and I look over to Amelia and the group of lads. Before I even have time to register that Price has joined the group, my stomach drops. He’s looking right at me with a fucking smirk on his face. If I wasn’t so embarrassed I’d probably think it was the sexiest thing i’ve ever seen. My face immediately blushes scarlet and I discard the glass of water for my martini. If i’m gonna get through this night with any semblance of dignity, I won’t be doing it sober. I debate getting up and sucking up my pride to apologise for being such a bitch. But then, what if he just laughs in my face and everyone else sees how much of a whiny child I was? Yeah, better not do that.

Amelia seems to notice him staring right at me because in a matter of seconds, she’s following his gaze and then walking over to me, that determined look on her face. She knows somethings going on, and she will demand to know.

“Okay, what the fuck. Did you and birthday boy get it on in the toilets or something without me knowing?”

I scoff and roll my eyes, not meeting her gaze and pouring some more blueberry flavoured courage down my throat.

“Obviously not, Amelia.”

She shakes her head and sits on the stool next to me, determined to get to the bottom of my awkward behaviour.

“Okay, listen. Me and you are gonna get out of here and go back to your apartment with a bottle of your favourite shit wine and we can talk all about it. I can tell you’re not enjoying yourself and I wanna know what’s going on. Gimme five minutes, i’ll be back and then we’re leaving.”

Before I can argue and tell her it’s okay, she’s going back to the group of lads and giving Johnny a kiss goodbye. It’s times like these where i’m reminded why she’s my best friend. She can read my feelings without me having to say a word, and she does truly care about me, even if my stupid little brain tries to convince me otherwise.

I leave the rest of my martini and make my way outside to have a cigarette while I wait for her. It’s well into the night now and considerably colder, and i’m mentally cursing myself for not wearing a jacket. I pull out another cigarette from my handbag and take a deep, long drag. The same burn, the same stench, the same short-lived relief. Just as i’m about to exhale-

“Leaving so soon, dove?”

For fuck sake. Why does this man have to show up at the worst times?

“Afraid so.. Past my bedtime.”

Again, the man laughs. Now, I know i’ve had too much to drink because I feel the warm, rumbly sound deep in my core, between my thighs. I don’t turn around to look at him, I can’t face him. I think i’ll die of embarrassment if I do.

I feel the warmth of something get draped around my shoulders, and the scent of spices and smoke mixed with expensive cologne. I’ve been nothing but a bitch to this man and here he is being chivalrous and giving me his jacket. I say nothing, but i’m grateful for the warmth.

“Hm. Shame. I quite enjoyed that little rant of yours.”

He’s doing in on purpose, i’m sure of it. He’s giving subtle digs to make me feel like even more of an idiot. It’s now when I spin on my heels to face him. I need to apologise. Now or never.

“Listen, about that.-“

“No need to apologise, dove. I liked the honesty. Not often I find a soft, beautiful thing like you with such fire in her.”

Just like that, i’m rendered speechless. I was expecting him to brush me off or belittle me or even scold me. But no. He’s giving me compliments like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I’m stuttering and fumbling over my words when Amelia walks about and grabs my hand, seemingly oblivious to the situation and pulling me into an uber. I get in, still speechless and head spinning. Is my head spinning because of the countless martinis I guzzled or because of him? I don’t know, and I can’t figure it out.

Amelia and I make it back to my apartment as we immediately kick off our shoes and crack open a bottle of shit wine and immediately I feel comfortable, i’m in my own space, drinking my favourite cheap wine with my best friend. Not surrounded by people I don’t know In some huge fucking mansion.

Amelia sits on the other end of the couch, legs intertwined with mine as she sips on the wine and gives me an expectant look, waiting for me to fill her in on tonight’s details.

“So… I went outside for a smoke and Captain Guy followed and sat down next to me. He asked if I was enjoying myself and I said no and went on a big rant, talking about how the only people that enjoy parties like that are rich arseholes and blah blah blah…”

I conveniently leave out the part at the end where he gave me his jacket and called me ‘soft and beautiful’. Which reminds me, I still have his jacket. I make a mental note to give it Johnny so he can give it back to him at some point.

Amelia’s eyes widen and she laughs.

“No way! Is that why he started talking about ‘rich arseholes’ in his speech?”

I nod, my face contorted into shame and embarrassment. Of course, Amelia thinks this is hilarious and nearly chokes on her wine.

“I felt like such a prat. It was the poor man’s birthday and here I am, basically calling him a rich arsehole…”

Amelia’s laughter dies down and she gives me a sympathetic look and a pat on the thigh.

“Girl, don’t even worry. He thought it was funny. Seemed interested in you. Even asked what your name was.”

My eyes instantly widen at the prospect of a man like Price being interested in a woman like me. I’m not exactly everyones cup of tea, i’m a big girl, rough around the edges, basically a hot mess on a good day.

“He what?!”

Amelia sports a shit-eating grin and nods, like she’s satisfied with herself.

“I swear. He came back inside and started asking about you.”

My face blushes like a fucking idiot and I have to bury my face in my hands. Since when did I become the type to get flustered and giddy over a man? Especially a man i’ve met once, and once only. But damn, what a man he is. That voice, broad shoulders, strong arms, thick thighs, strong hips…

The topic of conversation changes away from Price to Johnny and part of me feels grateful, though his words are still bouncing around my head like the DVD symbol on a TV.

“Not often I find a soft, beautiful thing like you with such fire in her.”

They bounce around in my head for the rest of the night, from when Amelia and I tuck into a greasy kebab, to when we settle into bed a good two hours later… The words are echoing around in my skull when my phone buzzes on my nightstand. I’m instantly ripped from my fantasies about the nice man with the wide shoulders when my brain reminds me the notification is probably from my shit-bag of an ex-boyfriend. I roll my eyes and breathe deeply before grabbing my phone, mentally preparing to read more false apologies when i’m completely stopped in my tracks.

Unknown: Nice seeing you tonight, dove. Think you still have my jacket. -JP

JP. The P is for Price, that much is obvious. But J? I begin to wonder about what his first name is… Jack? Jacob? James?

My thumbs hover over the keyboard as I rack my brain to come up with some sort of coherent response. I don’t even question how he got my number, i’m too busy focusing on the fact that he even texted me to begin with, and is calling me ‘Dove’. My stomach swirls. What do I say?

I put my phone down and decide i’ll reply in the morning when the alcohol is out of my system and i’ve had enough time to formulate a response that doesn’t make me sound like an absolute idiot. Until then, his words and text bounce against the corners of my skull, well into the hours of the morning.

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

100 questions

How long have you been online today?

off and on the last few hours in between dozing

First name?

Morgan

Middle name?

not saying

Age?

turn 31 next month

Male or Female?

female

What part of the world are you from?

Pennsylvania

How tall are you?

6′0″

How’s your hair?

few inches past the shoulder and brown

What’s your favorite color?

black, cerulean blue

What color(s) are you wearing right now?

black, blue (jeans)

What’s your shoe size?

11.5 wide in women’s shoes, which means about 10/10.5 in men’s

Who owns the computer you are on?

me

What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?

everything I hate

What was the last dream you remember about?

all I remember was it was very vivid and fucked up nightmare

Do you have any birthmarks?

no

Do you have any tattoos?

yeah a Harry Potter one on the inside of my right wrist

Do you have any peircings?

yeah, the standard one in each ear and belly button ring

How many siblings do you have?

a stepsister by marriage and a biological half brother I’ve never met

What’s your favorite type of music?

just about most of it, I’m not real picky

What’s the worst song ever?

oh lord...Baby Shark and WAP are a good tie for me

What’s your favorite movie?

this is never possible to answer cause there’s way too many

How long ago did you watch it for the first time?

-----

What’s the worst movie ever?

can’t think of one right now but I know there’s many lol

When was the last time you went to the theatres?

last year to see Jurassic World: Dominion...way overdue for theater popcorn!

What’s your favorite show?

too many to list, same as songs and movies

What’s the worst show on television?

ugh all the reality shows like 90 Day Fiance, The Bachelor, that new one with multiple husbands or married to twins...like seriously??!

What’s in your pocket right now?

bobby pins, my carabiner (big clip with multiple keys/keychains on it altogether) 

What is your first childhood memory?

sneaking out of bed in the morning to go watch tv at Mimi’s (grandma who passed in 97) when she’d be babysitting me and getting caught lol

Are your parents still together?

nope, dad/stepmom and mom’s been single since

Are you adopted?

no

Are you strait, gay/lesbian, bi, or unsure?

straight

Are you in a relationship?

engaged

For how long?

been together since Feb 13/14 of 2016 so 7 years, engaged since Christmas day of 2020

Ever been in love?

yeah more than once

Are you in love now?

yes whole heartedly

Do you have kids?

not yet

Do you want kids?

eventually

Do you drink? How often?

recovering alcoholic so...

Do you smoke? How often?

yeah, half a pack to a pack of menthol cigs a day

Do you do drugs? What? How often?

no

Look left: What do you see?

coffee table, tv, fan

Look right: What do you see?

bathroom, kitchen

Are you right or left handed?

lefty and proud of it

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

hell no lol

How long are your fingernails?

short

Is your bedroom a mess?

ha mess is an understatement

What’s under your bed?

nothing it’s a day bed that pulls out and has drawers in the bottom so it’s on the floor no space in between

Do you keep a journal or diary?

no I used to, and used to blog on here a lot but it just turned into shares of interests and surveys lol

Do you have a house phone, cell phone, or both?

both but the landline is only for emergencies, we never use it. cell phones are our lifeline

Can you keep a secret?

yeah

What color are your curtains?

we have blinds and they’re beige

Do you remember faces or names more easily?

honestly I suck at both, it’s hard to really say if one’s slightly easier than the other

What did you eat for supper last night?

pizza and loaded potato

Who made it?

a restaurant here called Cousin’s

What is your favorite school subject?

was* and English Lit was always one of my top faves that I always aced, really loved Social Studies too

Are you in school? What grade?

nope I’m old lol I graduated 2010

How long have you been out?/When do you graduate?

13 years, graduated 2010

Can you do a handstand?

used to when I was a kid and in gymnastics but not anymore

What’s your favorite game to play?

I’m a gamer! some of my main faves are Pokemon, Zelda, Tony Hawk, Kingdom Hearts, Harry Potter, Spyro, Super Mario...also Candy Crush and Pokemon GO

I also love board games, and I’m a crosswords addict!

What’s your favorite sport?

to play, basketball and golf. to watch, football and baseball

Would you rather watch sports on TV or go to the game?

oh lord I’d love to go to a game again I’ve only ever been to one Yankee game! but yeah preferably watch at home

Ever broken a bone?

I made it 21 years without any, unfortunately late 2013 I finally did it...broke my right collarbone :|

Ever had surgery?

many for skin tumor removals and jaw cyst removals due to my rare form of cancer I was born with 

Ever embarrassed yourself in public?

psshh a lot yeah

What happened?

a variety of different things, nothing real crazy just usual small stuff most everybody’s had happen one or twice in their lives lol

Ever had a long distance relationship?

had to due to deployment with my ex, he was active Air Force at the time and it was hell...never again.

Ever had an online relationship?

not exclusively online, however I have dabbled in dating sites, the last of which is how I met my fiance so it finally after several horror stories worked out in the end :D

Would you ever do it/do it again?

hopefully not

What do you hear right now?

TV in the background

What are you afraid of?

the dark, complete silence, being abandoned, losing everyone I love especially due to death, spiders, heights above a certain point, failure...

Do you like scary movies?

fuckin LOVE THEM!

Ever gotten a prank phone call?

no

Are you thirsty?

not really

What was the last thing you had to drink?

drinking Pepsi right now

How well can you hoola hoop?

enough to pass lol

Who is the most annoying person you know?

mom

What is your dream job right now?

I’m currently in a place mentally where I’m interested in being a criminal investigator or reporter

What was your dream job in kindergarten?

to be a vet

Do you have a job now? What?

haven’t worked in 5 years due to medical condtions that lost me 3 jobs in just under a year the last I was working...once I have a car again which should be pretty soon, I’m gonna apply for DoorDash this way I’m working again but it’s as little physicality as possible to make it easier 

What would you do with $1,000,000?

pay off debt, save up for us to move, finally plan our wedding and have it

Do you have any pets?

yeah a cat named Danyell (inside joke on the spelling) 

Do you have any hidden talents?

I personally don’t think so but who knows?

Are you double jointed?

my thumbs are

Can you dance?

hell no I’m a white girl all the way with no rhythm lol

What color are your eyes?

blue

Do you need glasses/contacts?

glasses, I’m severely nearsighted I need em all the time

When is your birthday?

May 1992

What would be the best present?

given my current situation over this past year, a car

What is the worst present you ever received?

a screaming match of family drama and domestic violence.

What is your pet peeve?

got several lol being interrupted, competition with experiences like someone always has to one up you and make it like their life is way worse than yours for attention kind of thing, triggers, slow drivers, being ignored, judgmental assholes, entitled people...etc.

What did you do last Saturday?

waited for my fiance to finally get home from a job in New Zealand to be home for a little over a week before he has to go back next week

Did you shower today?

nope

If you were one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs, which one would you be?

Dopey or Sleepy, for sure

What will you do after you finish this survey?

probably another one lol I’m bored

How much sleep did you get last night?

an hour or so here and there...basically shit sleep

What kind of chair are you sitting in?

I’m stretched out on the couch

Ever been to jail? For what?

no thank god

When you go swimming do you like oceans, lakes, or pools?

ocean’s fine, long as I don’t go out too far but it’s usually pools

What is the temperature outside?

49 degrees F

What do you want the temperature to be?

around low 70s F

Congratulations and here’s the last question:

okay

What did you think of it, be honest:

it was alright

[iwillneverletyougoemmibear]

10pm Thursday February 2nd - Emmi Bear watches house clip. episode number: ?? platform: YouTube? she is feeling like crying.. emotional episode apparently. says house losing his mind..

10:11pm Thursday february 2nd - Emmi bear gets clingy and starts kissing me then hugging me. then I tell her I need to go do something (#THIS #STALK #YANDERELYFE) she lets me

10:13pm Thursday february 2nd - Emmi bear texts me and lets me know to check my texts

(I check at 10:17pm and respond back to 10:13pm text)

10:14pm Thursday february 2nd - she watches more house clips and other stuff. sounds like possibly tik tok or shit off of fb..you know..crap..except house MD..

11:15pm Thursday february 2nd - me and emily go outside to talk emo shit and smoke a fag

11:25pm Thursday february 2nd - me and Emmi bear duet in the end by Lincoln park

11:35pm Thursday february 2nd - Emmi bear songs sings abc fu

11:39pm Thursday february 2nd - Emmi bear dominates me then bitches about how she needs little stupid lilly potter named girl (lilly anastasia fox) as a sub instead so I can't endure pain..

11:57pm Thursday february 2nd - emmi bear plays a game and tells me she calls them mother cluckers

1:30am Friday February 3rd - Emmi bear acts like a cunt and loses love for me..I'm not worried. she can't leave me. I won't let her.. Yandere love is forever..she couldn't even stay away from me during one restraining order when it was active..what makes me think this time will be any different..She always comes back. I'm lovesick as always..she won't go permanently..

4:49pm Friday February 3rd - Emmi bear takes me and hardy on a date to Portland exchange

6:46pm Sunday February 4th - emmi bear and I get back from plaid pantry. thankfully dick head ain't there. not to self give him an angel shot 🥃 if I ever see him..dickheads deserve one 🤪 make sure it's once off work and make it a good won't. we my want to disappoint 🔪

12: 43pm Monday February 5th - emmi bear asked for halfie of cig I had. gave it to her sexy ass as she noticed mine in the shower cutely. I really am psycho and cute at the same time 😍

4:17pm Monday February 12th: my emmi bear text me about a little space store in denver that makes me want to move and be near colorado even more. Indicating a win-win for her seeing as she wanted me to move to denver colorado at some point. my sweetheart really knows how to speak to me perfectly to get me to go over to her side..

4:19pm Monday February 12th: my emmi bear tells me she's hungry and that she wants some cigarettes. after I call her on messenger she states that she is too overstimed due to you the screaming that she hears over the phone regarding all the kids making a ruckus..

4:38pm Monday February 12th: I respond to previous statement thinking that she does not want to have kids and in the form of a question ask her if she still wants to have them. Her response ends up being that I misunderstood and she still wants to.. she is just going through pain. pain that makes it difficult for her to deal with too much noise due to the neural pain she has.. I also tell her that I can't go through the pain of losing one of our children again.. but I guarantee me and her will have more.. I mean come on let's be real here.. am I not cute and mother material enough? hehe

5:20pm Monday February 12th: my emmi bear text me saying she wants me to get a job because she's worried about me. SSI supposedly gets taken away whenever you marry someone.. I said I would do anything to marry her and I meant that. Like I said I won't let her leave, NOT AGAIN! I won't let her.. 🥰

5:51pm Monday February 12th: I get confused with the text and think that she means help her look for a job and not have myself find a job due to my pookie worrying..

6: 15pm Monday February 12th: knowing how SSI will be lost soon which sadly means less dates unless other things to spoil and enjoy with my wifey..(oh the fucking humanity!!) I tell my cutie that I need to put aside money and savings starting right now...

6:36pm Sunday February 12th: my yandere is pleased due to are mono relationship becoming fully official and competition to compete for my love is taken out. only ones left are are both of our alter system and my yandre side and stomach that.. targets sighted no longer pose a threat.

6:38pm Sunday February 12th: mental side note to myself.. updates the post I have on my log regarding targets that had to have been taken out.. by any means necessary safe for harmful

6:33pm Sunday February 12th: my love tells me to say hi back to my altar

6:58pm Sunday February 12th: I text her letting her know that someone let me know that they are hiring a few days ago..

7:24pm Sunday February 12th: I text my darling to let her know to advance in our new alliance within AQ.. black cats lair

10:00pm Sunday February 12th: emmi bear wants me to stay awake due to the thought of not wanting me to sleep my life away. She's so adorable! 🥰🥰

10: 00pm Friday February 17th: I mean bear and I play marvel contest of champions again together. She's so cute and so adorable when she wants to do an incursion with me

2:23am Tuesday February 28th: I explained to and me there to be honest with me only after having a fight with her..

2:31am Tuesday february 28th: emmi-bear tells me she might want to go poly again.. fuck my life..

3:41am Tuesday February 28th: I am so glum with recent events that I lost interest in cleaning all together.. everything is up to her now.. because i d g i f..

11:46am Saturday March 4th: up in cali now we just finished eating at jack in the box after a night of trying to figure out what we are going to do about our recent homeless situation up in LA. soon going shopping for a tent as well as any other provision reasons we need or can afford.

8:52pm Monday August 14th: (months before this recent entry hilda doesn't go dormant but ends up becoming a little alter I now harleen.. another yandere type end up typing this entry) I wake up from my nap to find emmi bear texting me saying she missed her break at work.

9:22 p.m. Monday August 14th: I reply to her text saying sorry that she missed her break at amazon. she had just working started amazon again..

11:30 p.m. Thursday February 8th I post about my new past present and future immunity

12:33 p.m. thursday February 8th emmi bear asks for space and her game she is playing she doesn't win the play offs on. mood is mad. lost by 3 points as well as bites the back of my neck for earlier. her teeth sunk had and gave me gisgasm 😍 bite me hard!

[celabi]

“Baby, Sa’ little late, don’t you think?” 𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 blows out the puff of smoke from his cigarette, shuffling from one foot to the other as his eyes continue to follow your every move. “Why don’t you come to bed? Im sure your crops can wait till morning.” He always admired how you worked, but when your health was on the line— he knew when to step in and try to redirect your attention to something else, which was mostly a calm ride to ZuZu City on the back of his motorcycle.

He can hardly see your facial expression when you turn around due to the light being so dim, but he can already imagine that your lips are turned down into a small frown— one that always makes his knees feel weak because you just look so pretty. He hears you let out a small, tired sigh. “I know, Seb, but winters coming up and they’ll die if I don’t and…” you trail off because you know, that he knows the gist of it all.

Sebastian frowns at the clear exhaustion that is evident in your voice, but you only wave him off with a small smile, which of course doesn’t change his mind. He goes to flick his cig out his mouth and onto the ground but stops, knowing how hard you work on the farm, he quickly jogs towards the nearest trash can before making his way back to you.

You’re crouched down and just finished dusting the dirt off a pumpkin you harvested when a hand is placed on your shoulder, and when you look up— a soft smile is on your husbands face while he looks down at you, his eyes full with a mix of pleading and adoration. “Love, please, I can tell you’re tired.” You have no time to protest before your softly being pulled up by the arm and into his arms.

“What— Sebby?” You try and use the ‘cute nickname card’ that always lets you have your way, but surprisingly— it doesn’t work this time as your crop layout gets further and further away from your vision. And although your much stronger than Sebastian, you don’t try to fight him on this one and just nestle into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and closing your eyes contently. You think maybe the end of this seasons produce wouldn’t hurt too much to loose.

He lets out a string of curses as he fumbles with the door nob to the front door, so he balances you on his hip so his hand can be accessible, and in no time you’re both away from the cold night breeze and inside your cosy home and seated on a stool near the kitchen counter. You watch your husband chuck some wood and firelighters into the fireplace and igniting before making his way back to you.

Your eyes lazing follow his movements when he crouched down in front of you and taps his thigh, and when you make no sign of moving, he lightly chuckles and pulls your foot up and starts pulling off your work boots— not caring about the mud that stains the new pair of jeans he just brought.

“Thank you, Seb. I appreciate what you do for me.” You lean your head on top of his and rest your eyes, and Sebastian— who’s now massaging your sore feet, sighs before a small, almost unnoticeable smile takes over his face. “Baby, compared to what you do everyday, this is nothing.”

Your quiet snores full his ears and he takes it as his sign to stop and finally get you to bed. As gentle as he can, Sebastian scoops you back into his arms and makes his way to your shared bedroom, plopping you onto the edge of the bed before shuffling around the room to find a spare shirt lying around— afraid that he’ll make too much notice if he opens the closet door.

The small lantern doesn’t help much as he can hardly tell where the clips to your overalls start, so he just pulls them over your shoulders and off your body, changing your marked, farm shirt and into a black, skull print one you brought for him on his birthday, one that he wears every other day.

He doesn’t even notice the adoring smile he has on while tucking you under the blankets, instead just patting down your hair and kissing you on the forehead goodnight. “I’d do anything for you.” He knows you can’t hear him, but that doesn’t stop him from spilling his love— it’s almost good because he cant feel embarrassed if you don’t know what he’s saying.

You’re so deep in sleep you don’t hear Sebastian trudging on his shoes and slipping on his jacket, sending your sleeping form one last glance before making his way back outside. He’s watched you work around the farm more times than he could count, so harvesting crops can’t possibly be as hard as it looks.

Spoiler alert, it was. When you wake up, Sebastian’s fluffy black hair doesn’t tickle your nose like it normally does in the morning, and instead is filled with the sweet aroma of pancakes. Pulling the hem of your shirt— one that you don’t remember changing into, over your underwear, you tiredly make your way to the kitchen to see your husbands back facing you while serving up breakfast.

“Good morning, Seb.” You yawn, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes and shuffling over towards him— wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into his back.

“Morning, love.” His voice is raspy and dry when he turns his head back to look at you, sending you a smile before pulling you towards the dining table, which to your surprise— is over crowded with baskets upon baskets full off all the crops you were trying to harvest last night.

“Wha— Seb, you, I don’t—” words start to make no sense as they fall from your lips. Sebastian, your husband, someone who hates going outside and rather stay indoors, used the time that should have been spent sleeping beside you, was instead put into your farming.

“I knew maintaining a farm was hard, but when I was actually doing the work, it made me realise just how much effort you put into this stuff. It’s not a lot— but I hope I made your job just a little bit more easier.”

[toiletwipes]

For your consideration; switchy revivebur and reader having a dead girl walking moment, (as in like the Heathers song not necro hdhdhdhd) maybe it's after dream escapes and he's out for reader's blood so reader decides to pay revivebur a visit ?? Many thoughts

(18+ after the cut)

dream had more enemies and more favors to collect than anything, not excluding you. which is the worst part, since he has a bone to pick with you, particularly, you knew. but knowing that he had others to see before you.. didn't add any comfort like you needed it to. the anxiety you felt in your stomach churned alongside your dinner. (it ended up on the side of the road you were currently walking down.)

you knew that you wouldn't survive dream, no, no that was your whole deal. he'd save you and keep you alive until you betrayed him. and when you showed up in the portal with the rest of the server members, well, you knew you wouldn't have his protection anymore.

you knew your head would hang on a wall, somewhere, it was only a matter of time. that's why you were walking on this particular road.

though, kind of weird, you had a thing with wilbur after he was revived. you didn't mind, but it was a little weird, he never noticed you before. in the war or during his exile but.. it's weird but you didn't mind.

knocking on the side of the van and circling it, you find it empty. as you were about to resign yourself to hiding out in the nether or breaking a server rule, call upon prime maybe, you turn around to find wilbur on the ground against a tree, a cigarette hanging from two pinched fingers and a lazy stare pinned you where you stood.

"what're you doing here?"

you shift the weight between your legs, turning your head to the side and away from the blinding sight that was las nevadas.

"dream escaped."

he grins a little but you knew he wasn't playing, you always sent a message. always. "so i heard, still, what are you doing here? you usually send a message before you come and whisk me away."

"yeah well, dream and i aren't on good terms, will." you fold your arms across your chest, the anxiety crawling up your throat and threatening to chuck your stomach lining next.

"so's half the server." he doesn't look away from you.

"we signed a contract and i broke it, the penalty is death," you can see his jaw with how tight he clenches, pulling a drag out of the dying cigarette. "and i wanted to make sure one of my last moments alive wouldn't be spent on the run."

he nods slowly, putting the cig out and throwing it aside. "i can do that," he says, motioning for you to come closer. you don't waste time, and you take in everything about him. his hair, though usually greasy and pulled back with the beanie or a clip for the van's business, his stubble that he's letting grow into a small beard. the trench coat that he almost never took off, hung from a branch above his head. only his slacks, yellow sweater, and shoes remained. the bandage from his revival removed and if you removed his sweater, you'd see the scar. you wonder if his mother left it or if dream did.

the thought of dream makes you walk faster over and he pulls himself to his feet, barely getting up before he's pinned to the tree, taking in your shaky breaths with hastily pressed kisses, hands pressing against the sides of your head. you pull at the hem of his sweater and though he's quick to pull it off, he's not quick enough, your lips attaching to his neck and sinking into the sensitive skin, his groans sending waves of heightened excitement down your body. you loved when he never held back. "fuck," he mutters as you sunk to your knees, kissing and licking a trail down his neck, his chest and his stomach.

fishing out his cock and wasting no time like before, you wrap your lips around his tip, sucking just a bit before his hips are hard to control and he's fucking your throat, hands holding your head down and choking you just a bit when your nose hits his pubes.

"god, do you know how hot you look when your choking on my dick?" wilbur's mouth runs off and though you absolutely can't handle the way he sounds just a tad ruined, you definitely want to hear him cry. so you hollow your cheeks and move on your own, working him up and using a hand to hold you steady on his thigh, feeling it flex.

it's no surprise when he curses, he cums down your throat and make you cough for air, but when you get back onto your feet, you reach for his neck, making him lean down and taste himself, and when you hook your foot around his knee and yank, making him kneel before you.. well, you always loved it when he was on his knees. he pushes you against the tree, lifting your shirt and kissing the skin on your stomach, and with him thumbing the waistbands of your jeans, you couldn't believe he was taking his sweet time-

shoving his hands down, along with your pants, you breathe in sharply as he kissed his way to your underwear, made you look him in the eyes before he pulls the edge down with his teeth. the sight made you weak in the knees already, and when you felt his mouth on you, you knew you wouldn't forget this when you died. this would be your afterlife, hell, you must've already died. this has to be what peace and whatnot feels like.

his mouth is no amateur, an expert after many hours of private time with you, even if the places sometimes weren't remotely private, he made you see the stars when all you could see was him on his knees, using his tongue in a way that made you hot in your stomach.

and when he rises to his feet, he lifts your leg and you have to reach up to his shoulders, steadying yourself with a muttered curse, a little weak and unstable after the dizzying high. he lines himself against your hole, shoving in after you were about to chew him out for wasting time. "god, the fuck are you waiting for? permission because i swear to pri- oh fuck." he sinks to the hilt inside your heat, both of you breathing a little heavy at the mutual feeling of salvation.

his hips start moving and you swear you definitely had moved on, the way he filled you and slowly left your head reeling for more, slamming back inside and repeating the damned process. you wondered with all of your wrongdoings and mistakes, how could you have hoped for a better life after death?

he chuckles, apparently finding something funny, and though you don't really want to know, you moved one of your hands up, gripping his jaw and pressing your fingers down on his tongue, and you felt it more than you heard him moan as he sucked on them, "such a wh-whore." you say and when his eyes open, though heavily dilated, he stared at you as you both listen to you pant. you're just as ruined as him.

"fuck- fuck right off, soot," you whine as he reaches a hand down between your two bodies and pressing stars into your vision, clenching around him and hearing him choke on his breath made it worth it.

"you want me to stop and leave you here? leave you so just anybody can take you?" in the time between thrusts your fingers had slipped and went to wrap around the base of his throat, feeling it vibrate as he spoke and it absolutely hurled you towards at the second orgasm of the night. and if tonight was like any of the others you've shared before, you wouldn't see dream until next afternoon, for sure.

"you leave me, and i'm fucking chasing you down." you hissed, nails digging down into his skin, and his head dips, leaning on your shoulder as he continued, thrusts getting sloppy.

"can't live without me?"

"you're the o-one who- fuck, who can't fucking-" you'd make more of an effort to speak if he wasn't fucking your brains out. he acts so mighty but he's right there, moaning between his words.

you don't even bother with words anymore, choosing to press your cheek against his, and if his ears throb with the volume of your screams, you don't care. he can bill you.

and when he finishes inside you and you're so close, so fucking close, he stops and then when you try to look at him, he's got a fucking gleam in his eye, his cock slipping out limp and his cum trickling out, he pushes your hips back as he sucks at your entrance, sending you spiraling and gripping at his head, feeling as if you're hurdling off a cliff with how fervent he was.

your head spins and when you come down, he's got you in his lap, trench coat covering you, holding you against him. "i got you," he mumbles as he begins to stand, "and we're gonna go somewhere a little safer," you want to protest, this was your life on the line, not his, but when you're tired and you can barely feel your legs, you're not in the position to dramatically walk off.

and you have a feeling you'd rather let him take care of you for now.

[swedisheek]

found: one pair of rose-colored glasses, cracked

Wilbur’s still getting used to the fresh air, and that’s just the beginning of the weird shit going on with him right now.

His lungs aren’t accustomed to the outside, not anymore. Thirteen and a half years- thirteen and a half fucking years of lungfuls of stale, dirty train station. He can’t believe it ended. He doesn’t know where to start.

Well, he guesses it starts here, on a cliff, watching the sunset like it’s his first ever one. Fuck, he’s always hated being inexperienced with anything, acting the bumbling idiot or the starry-eyed believer- well. Maybe once it went down easy, but now he chokes at the idea of being anything but controlled.

The sun prickles on his pale skin, itches like the damn thing’s clawing its way to his insides. His jumper is sticking to his chest, sweat and long-dried blood binding it to his skin.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s too warm.

Wilbur’s beginning to think he’s still got a foot stuck in limbo.

He’s not even thinking as he goes fumbling through his left pocket, pulls a cigarette out with shaky fingers and lights it with his little box lighter, the only thing that’s stayed exactly the same throughout that decade and some change.

He takes in his first breath of smoke, and it goes down so damn smooth, so cloyingly comforting, that he almost doesn’t notice the figure lingering just to his right shift uncomfortably, eyes darting away down the cliff side.

Ah, shit. Wilbur forgot that Tommy hates it when he smokes.

“Sorry-“ he mumbles this into his shoulder as he puts his lighter away, takes the cig from his mouth. “Sorry, Tommy, shit, I, I just- force of habit.”

Tommy shakes his head, shooting a crooked smile up to Wilbur, though there’s a lilt to his eyebrows that makes the whole thing crumble to pieces if he looks at it too long.

“Nah, s’alright, Will. I’m, I’m a big man, I can deal with it.”

Wilbur gives him a look. Tommy seems like he’s trying not to shrink away.

He thinks he should say something, but what the hell is there to say? Sorry for dying? Sorry for living? I want to be better? I want to be the same me you loved? Please, don’t wake up, just let this be real, I want to see my brother, I want to feel the blissful awful embrace of the sun and know that I still have time?

He opts for silence.

A breeze ruffles his hair as he drops the pack of cigarettes off the cliff. They tumble out like broken bones, like Icarus’s clipped wings on the rocks at the bottom.

The biggest difference between Wilbur and Icarus is that he gets a redo.

Tommy doesn’t look instantly cheered, but there’s an easiness to the line of his shoulders that couldn’t quite settle in before as he sits down on a large, flat rock.

Wilbur takes off his glasses with their bent frames and spiderwebbing cracks, tucks them in the neck of his shirt. He settles back against a tree to watch the sun sink into the sea, like a captain going down with his ship.

The ground is solid beneath his feet. The leaves of the tree rustle, and though for a moment it mimics the rattle of far-off subway cars, he knows the difference. Tommy is sitting on the ground, a few feet away, humming a vaguely familiar tune. There are new scars on his hands, his face, and Wilbur’s sure there are hidden ones somewhere else on him too.

He’s different.

It looks good on him.

The wind whips past them again, both Wilbur and Tommy’s hair flying up with it. There’s a little thrill within him as he realized their light streaks match, a little marker, a memento of all they’ve conquered.

Wilbur’s hands are sweating in his pockets as he fiddles with his lighter. He lets it fall down to the bottom, stretching out his hands in front of him like plaintiveness, like a prayer, like a thank you. The cooling air kisses his fingertips sweetly. Faintly, he can hear music playing.

Yeah, it’s good to be back.

[wind-goddess-eri]

It Just Get’s Worse From Here (part 1)

Working on part two. This fic was something I wrote years ago but never posted. Let me know what y’all think. It’s a justified fic so for those familiar with the show, let me know. and those who aren’t still let me know. ^_^  under the cut...

It was colder than usual in Harlan, KY. In an old shack near by the Crowder's bar was, there was an old man named Joe Boy. He was a frail looking man, long grey hair went with his goat-tee. He mostly wore sweats and a camo jacket. His house was a sober living house. He would take in addicts and sober them up. He had only two people this time. Less than usual. It was you and Dewey Crowe. It was day 6 when it happened. You were sitting on the couch. Your hair was held up by a clip. You were wearing a black hoodie and ripped jeans.

You were watching some stupid show of people hurting themselves doing stupid stunts. Joe was in the kitchen making coffee. You were there because you were addicted to Oxycodone aka Heroin. Dewey Crowe was in the bathroom. He was in there for a long time. An hour maybe when you saw him. He had a camo jacket and jeans with patches on them where holes would be. His hair slicked back and the look in his eyes was of anxiety and fear.

"Hey Dewey, What up?" you asked as of everyday.

"Hey Y/N, Um do um I was wonderin' if umm you had....you had a minute?" Dewey asked you very franticly.

"Sure. What's on your mind Dewey Crowe?" you questioned

"You took my cigs didn't you?"

"Dewey, why would I take your cigs? I don't smoke." you told him

"I know you took them. I saw you take them." Dewey started accusing you.

You stand up and get into his face, "I didn't take you goddamn cigs alright!"

"Yes you do and I know where you are hiding them!" He yelled at your face

Joe Boy came in to the living room where you and Dewey were arguing. "If ya'll kids would stop yellin you could come and get some coffee."

"Fuck you old man, she took my cigs and my pills!" Dewey yelled over at Joe.

"What?! Pills? You are doing pills again? Jesus Dewey! What the hell is wrong with you? We came to get sober, not put the poison back in to our systems!" You yelled at Dewey and shove him.

"Don't you push me!" Dewey points at you.

"Dewey, are you using in my house?" Joe asked

"Yeah but that's not the point. The point is she stole from me." Dewey tried to explain.

"If you are using you can't live in this house. Now you are gonna have to leave." Joe took Dewey by the arm and tried to get him out of the door. It didn't work cause Dewey broke free from Joe's grasp and shoved him. Joe shoved Dewey back and they started to fight. You never liked confrontation so you went into the other room, picked up the phone and called the Marshal Service. Telling them that Dewey was fighting with Joe and you were afraid for his and your life. That's when you remember that Dewey always carried a pocket knife. You ran to see if Joe was alright.

You ran back into the living room and they both were gone. You looked around and spotted some drops of blood on the floor leading to the back door. You followed the blood to where Joe lied in the grass. You couldn't believe your eyes. The man was like a father to me. He laid there lifeless. Blood covered his chest. You looked over by the fence and there was Dewey. He was hunch over almost in the fetal position. You walked over to Dewey and pushed him over, startled him and punched him in the face.

"What did you do!?" You yelled at him with tears in your eyes.

"I don't know!" He yelled in pain.

"How could you! You killed him! Why did your do it?!" You yelled as you threw another punch at his face.

"I don't remember what I did!" Dewey cried out.

You put your hands around his neck and started to apply presser, choking the life out of Dewey Crowe. He tried to breath but the more he struggled for air the more you applied presser. Just then as you felt that Dewey was going to stop breathing you felt arms wrap around your torso and pulling you off of him. The person to pull you off and save Dewey Crowe's life, was none other than U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens.

"Y/N, what the hell are you trying to do?" Raylan asked you.

"He deserves to die! He killed Joe!" You yelled to the marshal.

"Just calm down and tell me what happened?" He calmly asked.

You looked at Raylan and burst into tears. He held you close and walked you to his car. "You don't have to tell me now but when we get to the station you are going to have to tell me what happened here." You just nodded and took a seat into Raylan Givens car, in the passenger seat.

[yikesharringrove]

Thanks for reblogging all your old writing! I’m in love with those where Steve and Billy are sharing a bed. Can we please have more of it?

Here’s my other bed sharing piece! This is not in the same universe lol

-

Steve shivered.

He always got so fucking cold at night. His mom always said he had circulation issues. He thinks it has more to do with the phantom chill his nightmares bring.

“Harrington, I swear to fucking God.” Billy grumbled from the bed above him.

Billy had offered to share the bed in the dingy motel room they were sharing outside of Chicago.

Billy had an appointment with an experimental doctor, and had asked Steve to drive him out there, stay with him while the new doctor assessed his damaged body.

But when they got to the shitty motel, there was only one room left, with only one bed.

And Steve was tired enough to just hand over his dad’s credit card and move on.

He had insisted Billy got the bed, his perpetually sore body was hurting from the way the doctor had manhandled his weak muscles.

Steve shivered again.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry, Billy.”

“Just get the fuck up here if you’re cold.”

“No, no I’m good down-” he violently shivered again.

“Steve. Get the fuck up here.”

Steve huffed, but he pulled himself off the floor, and slid into the double bed.

He stayed as close to the edge as he possibly could, didn’t want to push his luck, push his gay fucking feelings all over Billy.

He was barely covered by the thin blanket, trying to control his shivers, wrapped in his thick sweater.

But his next shiver rocked the whole fucking bed.

Billy groaned.

“Come here.”

“Um, I’m okay here.”

“Steve, I can’t fucking move, so you gotta come to me.”

Billy knew what buttons to push to get Steve to do what he wanted, and the I’m injured because I almost died for you is his constant go to.

Steve scooched over.

“Closer.” He scoot a little more. “Like, close enough to touch.” He moved a tiny bit more. Billy gave a long suffering sigh. “I’m trying to share fucking body heat, man. Not trying to perv on you or whatever. Just come here.”

Steve took a deep breath, and closed the gap between them.

His back was pressed against Billy’s chest. Billy tossed an arm over him. And he realized Billy was shirtless.

He traced the scars winding up his hand, his wrist.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Steve apologized about three times a week for Billy’s near death last year.

“Not your fault.”

“But I should’ve, noticed that you were off.”

“Why would you? We weren’t friends back then.” Billy’s arm tightened around him. “You’d notice now. That’s what matters, I guess.” Steve shuffled in Billy’s arms. He wanted to turn around, wanted to look at Billy as they laid together, wanted to watch him sleep and pretend that, that it was more.

He shook his head, completely disgusted in himself.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.” Billy scoffed.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” He laughed as Steve slapped his arm. “What’re you thinking about?”

“I don’t know. Just, stuff.” Just gay stuff about his best friend. You know. The usual.

“Stuff. Right.” He patted Steve’s tummy a few times. Steve’s face was hot.

Billy shifted a bit, pressing in closer to Steve. He could feel his breath on his neck, ruffling his hair slightly.

He shivered.

“How are you still cold?”

“You were breathing on me.” Billy started blowing cold air on the back of his neck.

“Stop!”

“Make me!” He blew harder.

Steve forgot himself for a moment, caught up in the moment, and turned around.

He could just make out Billy’s features in the dark, the slope of his nose, the cut of his jaw.

He averted his eyes, tried to look anywhere other than Billy’s lazy grin.

He glanced at his chest, tracking the pattern of his scars, pink and puckered.

He spread his hand over the large one in the center, feeling the rough skin, the way Billy’s heart beat.

“I’ve never seen the ones on your chest.” Billy’s hand came up to cover Steve’s.

“I mean, I don’t really hide them.”

“I know but I, it just felt rude to look, I guess.”

“Doesn’t feel rude now?” Steve’s eyes snapped back to Billy’s face, found him grinning at Steve’s sheepish look. “You can look. I don’t care. ‘Specially not if it’s you.”

“What, what do you mean?”

“I feel safe with you, I guess. Always have.”

“Me too. I mean like I feel safe with you.” Billy chuckled softly at him.

“I know what you meant, Pretty Boy.”

“Just checking.” Billy’s smile slowly faded as he studied Steve’s face.

“You mean a lot to me.” Steve’s breath caught in his chest. “Always have. Even though I was shit at showin’ it.”

“No I, that’s okay. You, you mean a lot to me too. Like, a lot.” Billy’s smirk was slowly returning.

“Yeah? How much?”

“Like a whole bunch.”

“A whole bunch? Wow.” Steve rolled his eyes as Billy laughed. He wheezed for a moment after, making Steve nervous.

“Are you ok-”

“I’m fine, Stevie. Old lungs aren’t what they used to be.”

“You mean they’re somehow worse than when you smoked two packs a day?”

“Don’t talk about smoking, Pretty Boy. Makes me want a cig.”

“Then what should I talk about?”

“What were you thinking about earlier?” Steve swallowed thickly.

“You.” Billy hummed.

“Anything good?” Steve bit his lip.

He could just, tell him.

He could open his mouth and say just about how I’m in love with you.

But he was too scared.

Always too scared.

“Just about today. The doctor.” Billy’s face fell. “The stuff he did, was just really interesting. I’ve never thought about stuff like that.”

The doctor had done something experimental, was basically like a chiropractor for muscles, believed shifting and rubbing out the muscles would help with the pain in them, the misalignment of Billy’s body after the traumatic surgeries.

“Yeah. It was cool.” His voice was clipped.

“I don’t know, just medical stuff like that, I don’t really understand it at all. I think it’s neat.” Billy gave him a little half smile.

“It’s cute when you call things neat.” Steve flushed. “And it’s cute when you get all flushed and embarrassed.”

Steve tried to hide his face in the pillow under his head.

“Quit it,” Steve whined out.

“Nah, Princess. Not gonna.” Steve shifted to glare at Billy with one eye. Billy ran one hand clumsily through his hair. “I think you’re real cute.”

“I, I-uh,” Steve didn’t really know what he was gonna say, just felt like he needed to say something.

But Billy was looking at his lips, his hand big and warm on Steve’s cheek.

“You have to know how I feel.”

“I, what? How do you feel?”

“Steve, I haven’t been fucking subtle. We’re literally in bed together.”

“But I don’t, subtle about what?”

“How much I fucking love you.”

Steve’s heart fucking stopped.

“You, I’m sorry, what?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you. Have been for a long fucking time.”

“But you, I don’t, get it.”

“What do you mean you don’t get it?” Billy was starting to get panicked.

“You’re, you love me? Like for real?”

“Yeah. Wouldn’ta said it otherwise.”

“I, I love you too. Like, like a lot.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I do.” And Billy smiled so hard his eyes crinkled.

“Really gave me a fuckin’ heart attack there, Baby. Just starin’ at me.”

“Sorry, Bill. I just, I wasn’t expecting it. I thought I’d keep being secretly in love with you forever.”

“Sorry to fuck up your plan, then.” Billy just kept smiling at him, eyes big and bright. “But movin’ is still a no go for me here, so you’re gonna have to kiss me.”

Steve wiggled closer, one hand trailed up Billy’s arm. He kissed his cheek first, too excited to get to do this. He kissed his forehead.

“Stevie. On the fuckin’ mouth.” Steve kissed his nose. “Steve.”

Steve gave in.

The kiss was soft, just a gentle press of their lips together. He nipped at Billy’s bottom lip as he pulled back. Billy moaned softly, his eyes still closed.

“How was that?” Billy’s eyes were bright when he opened them.

“Everything I wanted it to be.”

[sorugao-bandgeek]

NOTES: Uh, I just had an idea. It probably won’t go anywhere. Maybe. who knows. Mentions of smoking, kissing. Uh yeah, I don’t think its that heavy tbh. It’s just light stuff.

This is also up on my ao3. along with other haikyuu stuff i’ve posted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955285/chapters/75824966

Kuroo x Fem!Reader

XXX

“Hey, hey,” Kuroo called out, bringing the crow bar up and resting it against shoulder. “Little lady, ‘tis late for thou to be out on thy own.”

You huffed a laugh, surveying the men on the floor, before looking up at the dark haired man, “You interrupted something, good sir.”

“Oh?” Kuroo quirked a brow, looking over you. “Forgive this one then,” he kicked at one of the men who groaned, “I can finish taking care of it, if that’s what you wish.”

You rolled your eyes, “Okay let’s drop the talk, it’s too early for it.” You patted down your side, trying to remember which pocket you had put your cigarettes in. “They’re so lucky it was you.”

A little ‘aha!’ left you as you found your cigs, pulling them out of the breast pocket of your jacket. You offered Kuroo one, who shook his head, nose wrinkling in distaste as you lit one.

You blew the smoke away from him, sniffing as you used your foot to push one of the men onto their back, “they’ve been snooping around.” You took a drag of your cig, blowing smoke into his face, “Annoying ass dogs 'cause they can’t be discreet about it either.”

Kuroo hummed, amused by your muttering as you started patting down the guy, looking through his pockets. “Well this ones smart,” you said, heading over to the next guy and doing the same. “Wow two smarties, which means...”

You turned to the third guy, seeing Kuroo already crouching down and checking for you, “Thanks sweet thang.”

“Well, well,” Kuroo tugged out a clip, tossing the bullets to you. You looked over them, smirking when you found a crude insignia drawn up at the end of one of them. You heard the click of a gun, metal hitting the floor as Kuroo let the clip fall out.

With the safety off, Kuroo aimed the gun at the man’s leg, pulling the trigger various times. When nothing happened, he held it out to you, “Always got to make sure it’s empty.”

You clucked your tongue at him, “That was unnecessary.”

You moved to stand beside him and took the gun, smoothly inserting the clip he had tossed to you, pointer finger pressed up against the gun.

“This is what Niigata has to offer?” You sounded unimpressed and Kuroo couldn’t help but shake his head.

He stood up, moving to behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, “You’re so hard to please, but what did you expect from these goons?”

He brought his crow bar down, tapping it against the floor, the sound echoing in the alleyway, “I’m going to call someone to pick them up, watch over them?”

His breath was hot against your neck, giving you chills. You shrugged your shoulder, making him lift his head, a knowing grin on his lips as he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, hey, yeah I found her,” he said, winking at you when you glared at him. “She's with some friends who need some help, come pick us up?”

Kuroo made a sound that made you bite down on your lip to keep from laughing, “Ehhh! Me? I’m not the one - oi! He hung up on me.”

He was behind you again, chin on your shoulder, “I can’t stand him sometimes.”

“So you say.”

“I do say,” Kuroo said, deciding to press his nose just below your ear. You flinched at the coldness, but didn’t pull away. “So what’s your take here?”

“Seeing as this isn’t the first time I come across Niigata thugs and the way they act, makes me think they’re trying to worm their way into our territory.”

Kuroo hummed, one arm wrapping around your waist, “And why were you alone if this isn’t the first time?”

You smiled, bringing up to take another drag of your cigarette, head tilting back to blow it out above your heads. You only shrugged as you flicked your cigarette to the floor, toeing it to put it out.

“It’s so much fun to fight and wonder what the outcome could be.”

He pulled you back against him, turning his head slightly to press a kiss against your neck, “You’re crazy.”

You chuckled, turning to look at him, “I just like the thrill.”

He kissed the corner of your mouth, a soft hey leaving you as you pulled him back in for a proper kiss.

“I’ll be careful,” you murmured after you pulled away, wondering why the gun in your hand felt heavier than before. “I promise.”

“Good -“

“Oi! Come on you two really?” Bokuto’s voice called out, making Kuroo look at the man, before turning back to you and kissing you with much more enthusiasm. “Alright! Enough lip-locking, geez, I get it!”

You snickered, pulling away from Kuroo, who sighed at the way you sauntered over to Bokuto, “You’re just jealous you don’t get any, Bo.”

“Here we go,” Kuroo murmured as you and Bokuto got into your little smack talking fight. “Oi! Enough arguing, more tying and loading these guys up!”

[ghostlysleuth]

day 6's prompt is "husky" so i guess this qualifies bc it has wick in it? i'm starting to break from the prompts tbh and having fun experimenting.

this took many steps and lots of experimentation, but was worth it! read my process below!

first, i did a very basic sketch in my moleskine. i had every intent on doing this all in the sketchbook but i couldn’t quite get it right. still, i didn’t wanna abandon it because i liked the idea of a friendly little piece where li and wick are just hanging out and sharing a cig. so i scanned it in:

 wick’s proportions are always hard for me to get right on paper. which is why i most draw him digitally. 

i fleshed out the sketch in clip studio, which was much easier, especially without the constraints of tiny moleskine.

i was gonna put them both in stylish clothes but li’s not very fashion-savvy. he owns like two pairs of pants and they look the same.

anyway, i got an itch to practice my skills with the nib and to still keep this somewhat traditional so i printed it out onto bristol paper (real thicc stuff) in blue.

ignore the joker ad on my ipad, i was watching letterkenny on hulu.

i used the hunt 102 nib and higgins’ black magic ink (not my fav ink but i ain’t gonna waste it), as well as microns for touch-ups.

then i scanned it once again.

at this point, i was tired and making lots of mistakes. so i opted to edit in clip, up the contrast to get rid of the blue sketch, add more shadows and a border.

then i toyed around with screen tones and the tone scraping brush! probably the most intricate of all my pieces but i’m pretty proud of it.

[lanajvmeson]

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED.  (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.) 

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

[lokilickedme]

True Story Time

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I gave Ronald Reagan the finger in front of 228 people?

In 1984 when I was in 10th grade, Reagan sent a team of “Presidential Aides” around to the schools in my state on the premise of observing small-town procedure and getting a feel for how the southern educational system was working out.  It wasn’t.  I had just moved from a suburban junior high of 8000 kids in a big city to a country school with 212 students total.  Kindergarten through 12th grade all in one building.  We had 11 classrooms, 9 teachers, and no funding.  We ate lunch outside and the bus driver doubled as the History teacher (and sometimes Science and Math...occasionally Home Ec).  The English teacher was the janitor.  There was no PE teacher, we just went outside and ran around the block (sometimes we came back, sometimes we didn’t) and in the hot months the Shop teacher brought his tools and took the doors off the building in lieu of air conditioning.  We went through five Principals in a two-year span of time and male students regularly just didn’t show up for two weeks during each semester because it was time to harvest something.  Female students regularly quit showing up halfway into 11th grade because they either got married or were too pregnant to fit into the desks anymore.  We were pretty much the school system that time forgot in a town that was more of a punchline than an actual place.

And here Ronald Reagan was, sending his representatives into our midst to “see how we’re doing”.

We weren’t doing so hot.  But if there’s one thing people in small country towns have going for them, it’s a fierce and intense pride in their own self sufficiency, and nobody - nobody - was happy about that rich bastard sticking his nose in our business.  And I, being from somewhere else and knowing what a real actual honest to god school system should be like, was pretty disgusted that this place couldn’t even get enough money to fix the roof that the last tornado had nearly taken off.  Odds were good the building was going to fall in on us before I could graduate.

So during lunch on the day of The Event I sneaked back into the school while everyone was outside eating.  The teachers were conferring with the Principal about the Big Presidential Visitation, and while they argued about which students they should hurriedly send home before the Very Important People got there, I ran through the school and wrote in 3 foot letters on every chalkboard in every classroom:

WE DON’T WANT THE PRESIDENT’S AIDS

I thought it was pretty clever, given Reagan’s shameful handling of the ongoing AIDS crisis.  Also I was a kid and it was the era when “you’ve got AIDS!!” was a commonly flung insult among idiot teenagers.  And the Reagan Administration’s other policies certainly hadn’t “trickled down” to our little town or school system, so twisting his disgusting neglect of one group while putting on a show of caring about another into a slyly juvenile joke seemed appropriate.  He was sending a highly publicized suited battallion into our economically/socially/progressively depressed town to “check on our progress” without any intention of doing anything about whatever report they might bring back.  We were a diversionary tactic to make him look good and it was obvious...well, it was obvious to me anyway.  I felt like it was a slap in the face since our area of the country had been pretty much completely left out and forgotten.  The children were the future, right?  Unfortunately the grownups in power didn’t seem to care much about that when there wasn’t a lot of money to be made or fame to be raked from it.  So we didn’t want them coming in with their clipboards and asking us questions and mucking up our day of state-sanctioned goofing around just to fuck off back to Washington and forget about us.  We had meth to be made during science class, we didn’t have time for this.

So the big black car arrived while everyone was filing back into the building and the President’s Aides entered the school just as the Principal was noticing the written vandalism in the science lab.  I saw him come running out and he spotted me at the other end of the single long hallway.  He knew it was me - he’d had trouble with me before, but that’s a story for another day - and as he was raising his hand to point at me with that STOP RIGHT THERE look on his face that school principals are known for, an outburst started in the math room.

It was followed by random outbursts from other classrooms as they filled with returning students.  And since the teachers were always a good five to ten minutes late to every class after lunch because there were cigs to be smoked and why the hell not, the chalkboard diatribes were still intact as the President’s representatives entered the rooms.

I didn’t even bother denying anything.  I had chalk handprints on my jeans.

It was a glorious day.

None of the students understood the double meaning of my graffiti, they just assumed I was making a crude joke about the President having AIDS because hurr durr, funny AIDS joke.  The English teacher chastised me for incorrectly spelling “Aides” (she obviously didn’t get it either). The art teacher gave me an A for originality and artistic style (she wasn’t from there).  I was told that at least two of the five Aides laughed.  The Principal, who wasn’t from there either, shot me a sternly halfhearted threatening look the next morning but never issued any consequences.  He was outta there two weeks later anyway, replaced by yet another in a long line of people from somewhere else who thought they could turn our school around.

I forgot to mention that a camera crew arrived with the Aides and videotaped the whole thing.  I don’t know if any clips ever aired anywhere, or if it ended up in someone’s report, or if it was just taped over later and forgotten.  Maybe it was stored in Reagan’s Presidential Library.  I’d like to think it was shown to him at some point, though.  And if he did see it, I sure as hell hope he got my finely crafted middle finger embedded in six chalked words on eleven blackboards in a tiny ramshackle school in a town he likely had no clue ever existed.

Or maybe he just didn’t get it, and assumed it was just another AIDS joke.