#the characterization feels so simple and yet I think I could write a paper about how it’s actually complex
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freemefromthishellscape · 2 years ago
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I finally watched The Menu and holy fucking shit am I glad I did. I am a huge fan of horror, specifically what I personally classify as “psychological horror.” Whether that’s what it actually is or not that’s what I count it as. I still have more horror movies to watch that I haven’t had time to see yet, but this is so far my favorite horror film. The absolute insanity of going from what feels like the start to a shitty rom-com about an odd couple trying to fix things (cuz he’s an ass and that’s how some of the movies in that genre start) to the mindfuck that is the dinner is built up slowly enough that if you didn’t know it was horror it would be like putting a frog in water and then heating it on a stove. (I don’t condone that happening because I love frogs, I just couldn’t think of a better analogy) I really just love this movie with the well done feminine rage, twisted self awareness of the chef, and the almost unnoticeable commentary on how we see service workers as their service and not as human during the Man’s Folly scene where Katherine cries and is only complemented on the food and not actually comforted about what happened to her. I am going to be thinking about this movie for weeks and talking bout it for just as long. It’s so well made I’m just enamored with it right now.
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dicenote · 3 months ago
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DN Fic Recs!!
Aight, I think the Death Note fandom could use some positivity. And I wanna be positive :D! So here is a list of fics with reviews, aka a thinly-veiled excuse to wildly ramble about brilliant fics made by incredibly talented people. A lot of these works inspire me, so I want to share them with others! If these fics sound interesting to you, I highly recommend that you check them out and give the authors lots of love :D
Anyway, here we go!
Fallout by Zaney HacknSlash Rating: M (FFN) Ships: (Not the main focus) eventual Matsu x Sayu, eventual Ide x OC, background Aizawa x Eriko, (kinda) Mogi x Misa
Dude. Duuuuude. If you want to see an action-packed, angst-filled joyride of a fic featuring the Task Force after Kira, this is it. This is a 10 year old rewrite of the original version of the fic, but it has a lot of the old fandom charm left over from the 2008 original. The plot is centered on the guilt Matsuda feels after shooting Light, and what he has to do when a mysterious enemy forces him to confront that guilt.
I like how the author gives us insight into every major character in the story. The flipping perspectives keep the story grounded in some places, but make it chaotic when it needs to be. Most importantly, I like how we see, inside and out, how tight-knit the Task Force has become after everything they've gone through. I also enjoy how each of the Task Force members have their own dilemmas and struggles that pay off by the end, all to do with loyalty. Overall, Fallout is an epic story with action, suspense, and plenty of original characters that don't overstay their welcome.
True Successor by @mapsareforbraindeads Rating: M (AO3) Ships: Beyond x Light, BeyondTsuda
I think this was the first fic that really helped me get the appeal of Beyond Birthday, and that's a feat all on its own. Here, Vari takes the original story of Death Note and flips it on its head with an idea that sounds like "crack treated seriously" on paper: What if L was dead before the events of the story? What if, instead, he were replaced by someone looking to, "realize what [L] could not"?
The portrayal of Beyond's mental state throughout is simply breathtaking. One standout (not-too-spoilery) example happens when Ukita dies as in canon. Vari does an incredible job of showing Beyond's frantic thoughts to the point where this part is actually stressful to read. I really wish I could go into more detail about how Beyond is portrayed, but it's really worth reading for yourself. Like I said, this fic helped me understand why people like B's story so much.
Even if you've never read the LABB book (I haven't yet), True Successor is an utterly fantastic work that you should check out.
Weakness by Airmid Rating: M (AO3) Ship: LawTsuda
I think I've talked about this one before, but it's worth talking about again. I think of this as "the" LawTsuda fanfic for a couple reasons, most notably in that it really makes the pairing work in a setting that's close to canon. I really adore the way Airmid characterizes L and Matsuda in this fic and immediately contrasts them from each other. The events of Weakness take place before L's death in canon, and the story asks some simple questions: What would have happened if L let himself confide in someone before he died? And what if that person was Matsuda?
I've read some of Airmid's other, longer, works, and while I enjoyed Happiness and Until the End, Weakness stands out to me because it feels a lot "tighter", if that makes sense. Using the bells from the anime, we get this very solid through-line of L secretly worrying and preparing for the inevitable... And then Matsuda comes in. This fic in particular continues to be a huge inspiration for a fic I'm writing, especially for the portrayal of Matsuda as equally earnest and impulsive.
Pretty much anything by Tallulah
Okay, I wish I could pick just one to talk about here. From the short and devastating Axioms to the very long and devastating Broken Hallelujahs, all of Tallulah's works—the smutty and the soul-crushing—have intriguing worlds and deep, dark characters. Just make sure you mind the tags before diving in, these ones get dark. As a MatsuIde fan, I've got to give a shout-out to Saviour. It took a while for me to "get" the style of the fic, but in the end I really loved the tone. The way Tallulah depicts the dissociation and trauma of these characters feels incredibly real, and when the fic drops its unique formatting to symbolize the characters "snapping out of it", you feel it. Broken Hallelujahs has a similar vibe, but its story has more fast-paced action. Ooh, and The End of Days is an incredibly solid, more "canon-compliant", work featuring Aizawa x Ide x Matsuda, a guilty pleasure ship for me.
Twisted Fate by TwilightMaster15 Rating: M (AO3) Ships: None tagged so far, background LawLight
If you've been in the DN fanfic scene, I'm sure you've seen (or maybe read) a "What if L was Kira?" fic. Well, here's a new one. What if Aizawa was Kira?
This is another fic that takes what could be a "crack" scenario and executes it super super well. Rather than getting a childish Kira who calls himself "God of the New World", we have Aizawa, who has become disillusioned by the justice system he works in. The fic does a really good job in setting up Aizawa's relationships, good and bad, with the other characters, as well as showing the very different choices Aizawa!Kira makes versus Canon!Light. Speaking of Light, his motivations and role in the story are very well-done. His inclusion feels incredibly natural, and I can't wait to see what he and L do next.
Kira's Guide to the Munchies by @palant1r Rating: T (AO3) Ship: MatsuLight
I've gotta end this list with a funny one, alright? This fic is an absolutely delightful treat. It's like digging into a nice, warm brownie... Oh, wait.
See, Palant1r doesn't just characterize Matsuda and Light, more like dissects these characters' essences, their weaknesses and fears and flaws, and lays them bare for the reader to see. And yes, this is also true for when Matsuda and Light are tripping fucking balls. This fic is so very silly, but we also get to see the way these characters think, even if their faculties are hindered by quite a bit of weed. A character study wrapped in a goofy concept, Kira's Guide to the Munchies is a ride that you just have to read to believe. Seriously. I was thinking about quoting lines here, but it works better when you don't know what's coming next.
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hey-michael-young-history · 11 months ago
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Modern AU
A while back, I was writing a subscorp AU where Hanzo and Bi-Han are lawyers. I mean, I guess I'm STILL writing it 🤔
ANYWAY, I stopped right at the point where Kuai Liang decides to go see Hanzo after aggravating Bi-Han but this is a scene that would have been in a future chapter. I really like it because I worry about my characterization a lot (ESPECIALLY Kuai Liang, since he's younger here, but I've accepted it) and I think I nailed Bi-Han's canon "Annoyed at Everything and Everyone for Existing" attitude, while also making him a little less flat.
You might be seeing this again when I pick it back up, but enjoy!
“You cannot afford this.”
Bi-Han couldn’t take his eyes off of the itemized plan of care in front of him. 
Root canals. Crowns. Replacements. Mouth guards. Follow up appointments. 
“$21,000,” he whispered. His heart was sinking deeper and deeper. That was more than his sign on bonus but if he crunched the numbers hard enough, he could have had all of the money. He’d survived on fake ramen before, he could do it again. 
Except. 
Except he’d spent that money. Breaking his lease, moving into the new place, furnishing the bedroom that Kuai Liang had abandoned. 
He swallowed hard, hot tears tickling his eyes. Fucking Kuai Liang. Why didn’t he say something about the fucking ice or his fucking teeth or anything?
He told Hasashi everything and naturally, Hasashi took him to the most expensive fucking dentist in the whole fucking city. Now, this smug asshole had pulled him out of the office for a lunch Bi-Han surely couldn’t afford and definitely no longer had an appetite for, to gloat over the fact that he couldn’t afford this bullshit. 
“There is something wrong with every single one of his teeth,” Hanzo explained. “Some require simple fillings, some have extensive structural damage. Your brother has been very uncomfortable for a very long time.”
“Okay,” Bi-Han snapped. “So— okay, I’m not on the insurance yet. The probationary period—”
Hanzo shook his head. “I have taken care of it. He is getting the final procedures as we speak.”
Bi-Han balled his fists and concentrated on keeping his ice contained. A week. He’d texted Kuai Liang and tried to call but he just wouldn’t answer. 
He didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. 
He definitely didn’t want Kuai Liang running off with some stranger. 
“No, I’m going to pay—”
“Lin Bi-Han,” Hanzo said sharply. “There is nothing to pay.”
Now he was being treated like a child. “You’re lucky I don’t press charges. You kidnapped my brother.”
“Kuai Liang consented to both staying with me and his oral treatment plan,” Hanzo countered. 
“Fuck you,” Bi-Han spat. 
Hanzo only smirked. 
“I want him back. Did you bring me out here to threaten me? Fire me. I don’t care. I’m not selling my brother to you, you perverted fuck.”
The disgust on his stupid face was almost worth burning this bridge. “I’m not interested in buying Kuai Liang. He is under an enormous amount of stress.”
“Oh, he’s stressed,” Bi-Han sneered. “Poor Kuai Liang. All he has to do is go to school, do his homework, clean up after himself. And he can’t even fucking do that.”
Hanzo sighed. “I can understand your frustration. It is not easy, being responsible for someone. But your anger is affecting him. There is a strong person waiting to come out of your brother.”
“Out of Kuai Liang?” Bi-Han would have laughed if he wasn't so close to crying. 
Hanzo raised an eyebrow. “You begrudge his presence in your life, yet cruelly scoff at any attempt for independence.”
“Going to you is not independence,” Bi-Han snapped. “And I want him back.”
He threw the papers down and stormed out of the dining patio. Hanzo sighed. 
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shotorozu · 3 years ago
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hello!! i saw that your requests were open and wanted to ask if you could do single dad! atsumu suna and sakusa falling in love with reader, like it's sort of a meet cute (or not) but the reader falls for them and the kid and happiness lskfjsdfk have a great day!!
single dad! falling for reader
character(s) : miya atsumu, suna rintarou, sakusa kiyoomi (haikyuu!!)
legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, timeskip au! (because,, single dads.)
headcanon type : fluff, crack and angst if you squint (x reader)
warning(s) : mentions of the character’s ex wives, the ex-wives being jerks for multiple different reasons and ways (so,, be warned. for negligence, not very detailed hitting, and cheating, but not on reader)
note(s) : me, writing for haikyuu?? wow, a surprise! also, it’s been a while since i’ve written for haikyuu so if i don’t get the characterization correctly— ESPECIALLY FOR SAKUSA, i’m sorry in advance.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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miya atsumu
at first, his marriage was happy. miya atsumu— successful in his 20s, basically set for life, and with a head strong wife that gave him a wonderful daughter
he was elated when his son, genji came into this world. he wouldn’t swap him out for anyone else. and it was all good, really
until he started spotting marks on genji’s delicate skin, and he even found a large bruise on his shoulder when he was changing his shirt! he almost passed away seeing that
genji would also have a sudden fear of being alone in the house— even when his mother would stay behind to take care of him
but why though? genji’s only 4! what could’ve happened to him? he doesn’t recall hiring any babysitters.
he finally found the answer one day, when he found out that his head strong, intense wife— has been physical with him!
basically, all the love for his wife flew out the window, and he filed for a divorce— and of course, he won custody
and he assumed that his love life would stop at that— and it didn’t sound terrible. all that mattered was that his son was safe, and happy again
but this is where you come in
you work at a toy store, a small business toy store really, that sold the highest of quality only
and atsumu took genji to either replace, or fix the toy he broke a few days back. the place was recommended to him by shoyo— who also had a kid of his own
you’re just two years younger than him, eyes full of determination and care, practically the complete opposite of his ex-wife.
you put up a good conversation with him, while you fixed the toy— the two of you talking about the mutual friends, and that ‘this place should be a lot more popular.’
and also, his son did happen to take a liking to you. he seemed joyous in your presence— compared to how he was with his ex-wife
and from that moment on, the two of you would only become closer— especially when a bunch of his son’s toys started breaking magically
before atsumu knew it, he harbored something for you— the absolute angel you were to the both of them
“‘m sorry for the inconvenience,” the faux blond scratches the back of his next “didn’t know genji here was a ‘lil clumsy weasel,”
you laugh, and genji’s just staring at you with amusement, “it’s fine, genji could break his entire toy box— and i’d still fix it anyway.”
so this was the nerve wracking part, “to make up for it, would you like some coffee later? i could treat ‘ya.”
“is this yer way of askin’ Y/N—”
“shut yer mouth for a sec— uhm,” he looks at you, sheepishly
you laugh, “miya, i wouldn’t mind honestly. but i’d assume you’re busy as it is.”
“not at all!” atsumu replies, “i’ll just, drop off genji first. say yer thanks to Y/N,” atsumu looks at genji, encouraging him to say his thanks
“,,thanks for fixing my toys, Y/N.”
“no problem, genji.” you smile at the two of them when they move to leave the store, fixed toys in hand— as they wave at you before parting
“oh, Y/N?” atsumu calls out,
“yeah?”
“call me atsumu— from now on.” his cheeks are tinted pink, and he can feel genji’s eyes on him.
“oh, uhm. yeah! i’ll see you later, atsumu.”
so yeah— the two of you went out for some coffee, and before he even knew it, he was in love.
it might take him a few months to realize it though
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suna rintarou
i can’t imagine him having kids for some reason 💀 but if he were to have any, he’d definitely have a daughter
rintarou himself, didn’t think he would have kids at at all, really. but the moment he was able to meet asuka— his lovely little daughter
he was hooked. he seemed a little awkward at first, not very used to caring for a child. but he was actually decent at his job
he’d sneak into his daughter’s room to hold her when she was upset— even when his wife was too knocked out to realize it, and he’d show her picture books
since she liked them a lot, even when she can’t coherently read a straight paragraph yet.
it started to concern him when he realized how little his wife was involved in the development of their daughter.
she started acting different, a little bit after she didn’t have to breastfeed asuka
and then, that’s when it happened.
“i literally can’t believe you,” he speaks when he’s packing his things, “we have a child together.”
his soon to be ex wife is on the floor, begging him to stay— but he doesn’t care. “look, the idea of you cheating wasn’t very surprising. i don’t care anymore, really. but the fact that you’ve been neglecting asuka for your selfish needs is low. i hope you’re ashamed of yourself.”
his words are so much different that his lenient, calm self. which only solidifies reality
so he leaves with asuka, not caring about the sobs that left his soon to be ex wife’s mouth.
and even though he was still angry at his wife for not being there, he’d never let it show to asuka
he’d still show her picture books, he’d still sit down and watch miraculous ladybug with her— even when she doesn’t understand it all completely
and speaking of picture books— he decided that he needed to buy more for her
so he took her to the bookstore, and he didn’t really know what he was doing. he bought all those previous books when asuka was still a newborn
now it’s a little fuzzy on what he should be looking for. colors, right? he needs a picture book that has plenty of colors.
and that’s where you come in. you’re youthful, despite looking not that far off his age, you’re humming to yourself as you fix the bookshelves
“uhm,” he calls out for your help, and you look at him in recognition “need any help? what are you looking for?”
there’s a helpful glint in your eyes, and it reminded him of what should’ve been in his ex wife’s eyes. “my daughter, likes picture books. and,, i don’t know what i’m doing.”
she’s basically a replica of him, same eye color, and same hair color. but her eyes are much more rounded, youthful.
“cute kid,” you smile when she coos at you, “the children books are this way, follow me!” you exclaim, moving to navigate your way to the children’s book isle
so it seems to be that you really know what you’re doing. most people would’ve recommended picture books with a lot of words, or just no words at all
but you’ve found the books that made asuka exclaim in happiness.
and although it’s not very obvious that rintarou’s caring to his child— he is, and you could tell. despite looking lost, and sometimes bored when you’re explaining the books.
so every 2 weeks, the father would return with his daughter, after he got back from volleyball— and you’d help them pick out on certain books.
rintarou assumed he’d never take a liking in anyone again, but,, here he is. and he doesn’t know how you’ll react to that.
but it’s worth a try— he’d try and get your number when he’d see you again
the next time you see him, the middle blocker’s alone. and he tells you that he needs more picture books for asuka, since she’s staying over at his volleyball friend’s house for a day
“Y/N,”
“yes?” you turn your head, meeting his stare. he looks well,, himself. like how he first sought out for your help a few weeks back
“,, could i get your number? y’know, just in case asuka wanted worded books in the future. you’ve helped a lot, so,,”
you smile, “is this your way of hitting on me?”
he didn’t think it was that obvious, “what?— i mean,” he fumbles to reason out, feeling a bit more awkward. because yes, he’s asking you out but,, he has the power to make things more laxed, y’know?
truthfully, you don’t know much about him. you know a lot about his daughter, sure! but you don’t know anything about her biological mother, or what happened, or why she’s not taking asuka to the bookstore
but you chose not to ask, out of respect. he’d tell you some other day. “i’m just teasing,” you smile, moving to get a small piece of paper— writing your digits on the paper, and placing it in his pocket
“i’d like to see you again,” you smile, “say hi to asuka for me.”
the middle blocker left the store in content, absolutely sure that asuka would love to see you again even when she can’t form proper sentences.
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sakusa kiyoomi
didn’t think he’d be fit to be a father— but here he is
though he seems cold, he does take responsibility, and he does love and care for his child, seina
it’s not like he’ll be posting pictures of his child everywhere— i mean, even if he had a different personality, he still wouldn’t be posting his kid everywhere
but he does cherish seina, like his life depended on it. he’d still silently watch her cross out word puzzles in a messy matter, he’d silently listen to her talk about her favorite pastries
he loves her!
so that’s why it made him mad, when even after 4 years of seina being born, her mother made little to no effort in spending time with her
doesn’t matter if it was a simple gesture like tucking her in, or showing up to a birthday— she just,, never did.
it was almost as if she was ignoring seina, which causes some distraught on the child’s behalf— which passed on the negative feeling to him
like,, seina wasn’t an unbearable kid. sure, she acted up here and there, that’s an issue kiyoomi has been trying to fix on his own
but it was nothing too concerning, and it was containable. but his wife treated her like she was absolutely unbearable
and it was super strange because, she’d act normal around him, but would barely acknowledge her own daughter’s existence
so what did kiyoomi do? he confronted her, of course.
and no— his wife wasn’t cheating, and nothing tragic happened that would’ve caused her to be this way
she was just,, lazy
“so.. you gave birth and stopped caring for her? is that it?” furious was an understatement, considering that his wife forgot to make her daughter breakfast
which caused her to sneak out of the house, and ask for some breakfast from some nice neighbors.
“look, if you want nothing to do with her, just say that. i’m taking seina, and leaving.” so yeah now he’s a single father.
to say he didn’t love her was too quick, a part of him didn’t love the fact that his wife loved him, but didn’t show any sign of affection towards her daughter.
he knew it was going to fade away anyway. his feelings for his unofficial ex wife.
and i don’t think he’d plan on seeing new people, since now these days— people just like the idea of being with him
which meant that most people would’ve been scared away, or turned off if they really sat down in a conversation with him
besides the point, kiyoomi was taking his daughter to the bakery again— as she was craving new pastries, and wanted to go to the new bakery that just opened near by
and kiyoomi was like “why not ig” and took her there— but then, this is where he’d meet you for the first time
you were one of the bakers, and it’s not like he was going to pay attention to you— until you did something even HE couldn’t do
“papa, whyyyy” the whining sounding painful in his ears, as his daughter clung to the display of pastries “can’t we get moreeee??”
“seina,” he sighs, “no, we can’t.”
“but—”
“papa, you’re no fair!” her bottom lip trembles, and he could almost FEEL the judgmental stares of the other customers in the bakery
and this is where you come in, “is something the matter?”
“papa won’t.. get me more!” she stares at the selection of pastries, “i’ve been so nice but.. it’s no fair!” her eyes tear up
“don’t cry,” you bend down to blot her tears away with a tissue, “y’know, he probably has a reason, but you’re in luck— actually!” you maneuver behind the counter
you come out from behind, presenting a fresh batch of pastries— that were just right to his daughter’s liking, to the point that it shut her up entirely
“they’re on the house, today’s our opening day, so it’s the bakery’s treat!”you state in a warming matter, grabbing a paper bag to place the pastries in
kiyoomi stares at you, observing you quietly— you could feel his cold stare, even though he’s wearing a medical face mask, that covers about half of his face
you blink, not knowing what is going through his head, and you gesture to his daughter to take them
you clearly don’t know who he is— and that gives kiyoomi some sort of relief, compared to the other customers that are murmuring to each other “sakusa kiyoomi’s here with his daughter! is this what he does in his free time?”
kiyoomi takes the paper bag, giving some sort of non verbal acknowledgement, before he takes his daughter’s hand and leaves
“bye, kind person!” seina calls out to you, which catches you off guard— this causes your coworkers to coo at the girl’s words
“didn’t know sakusa’s daughter was so cute!”
and you’d assume that your interactions with the quiet stranger and his daughter would end at that, but no! life is full of surprises.
the tall masked father comes in again, a little bit before closing time— you were absolutely beat, your back feeling as if boulders were glued to the back, and your feet burning from all of the rush
“oh, what could i do for you?”
he stays quiet, but a small presence sticks behind him, and peers up to you. the face is familiar to you, so you wave “hi there! it’s nice to see you again.”
“i wanna say thanks.” her rounded eyes practically shimmer when they lay themselves on the pastries again, but she shakes her head “for the pastries! they’re very tasty.”
“i’m glad you like them, what was your favorite part of the pastry?”
“the filling! twas yummy!” she gives a toothy grin, “tell me, where ‘dya learn to bake like that?”
kiyoomi stares at the scene unfolding before him. it was.. new. unfamiliar— he hasn’t seen his daughter act like this with anyone else— besides him and his team mates. so, he simply watched.
seina babbled and babbled, much to the your amusement— and the other staff members. you listened to her with your full attention, your interest never wavering in the slightest
it’s a bit later, kiyoomi holds a tired seina in his arms— you expect him to leave the bakery, his daughter’s wishes been fulfilled, and he wouldn’t have a reason to stick around
but then he presents to you a large stack of cash “for the pastries. my,, daughter really liked them.”
your eyes widen, “sir! i told you, the pastries were on the house!” you shake your head, “either way, i can’t take this! it’s too much for some pastries!”
“no, seina insists. in fact, she’s entirely why i’m here.” his tone stays consistent, but even with the mask— you could tell that he’s smiling. “she’s well,, everything. if she’s set on something, then she’ll do everything to achieve her goal.”
you smile at the statement, “thanks for bringing her here sir..?”
kiyoomi hesitates to tell you his name for a moment, an unfamiliar, yet familiar pound in his chest rises— he chooses to not figure it out right now, considering that it would be too soon to pursue a romantic relationship.
but, if his daughter brought him here, then it must be for a reason. “kiyoomi.”
“right,” you smile, “thanks for coming here, kiyoomi. you can give me a call, if seina wants any more pastries.” you write your number on a piece of paper, and hand it to him
he doesn’t reply, but he does take the piece of paper anyway— keeping it in his pocket
and for once, he thinks that he doesn’t hate having to go to the bakery weekly., because there’ll be a warm presence there to greet him— and of course, seina.
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likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own hq!! and it’s characters. haikyuu!! belongs to furudate haruichi, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission :))
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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years ago
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Loki Series Thoughts—Glorious Purpose
Ok, I’m always nervous about posting my thoughts, but here we go. Spoilers ahead of course!!! (Disclaimer: Any gifs or images are not mine.)
Let’s start out with the episode’s name: Glorious Purpose. I know some people were a bit miffed about the emphasis put on the line, but I actually thought it worked well. It’s not so much that Loki actually believes in this “purpose,” but rather he is clinging to what he’s been told his purpose is. And by the end of the episode, he’s finally working through some of the things he’s been hurt by, abandoning what he’s been forced into and ready to be who he wants. Granted, it’s still going to take some time for him to come to grips with all that has happened, but I’m excited to see the journey.
The TVA. They undeniably suck. Whether or not it will be addressed directly, they are the (or one of the) antagonists in the show. What they are doing is, frankly, tyrannical. Three “time keepers” have taken it upon themselves to force countless versions of time and people into one single stream. And you know what? They can’t control that timeline. Not like they want to. As much as Loki’s line about “the weak” applies to himself, it applies to the TVA, too. It’s a facade of control that they cling to; if they truly had the right, the ability, to control time, everyone would follow their path. There would be no variants. Now, I could write a whole separate analysis on the MCU’s explanation of time travel. It’s convoluted and in a large way doesn’t make sense.
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I’d like to talk about Loki’s characterization. I am, in a word, relieved. From the trailers, Tom seemed to be over-acting, something rather strange for someone so good at conveying deep emotions through nuanced actions. Now I believe any exaggerated lines from the trailers are just Loki trying to separate himself from who he’s been told he is, and trying to reinvent himself. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either; they’re not rewriting Loki, he’s just growing in a new way. And though this way is “new” I think it will be similar to what we’ve seen before. From what we’ve seen so far, there is good continuity, and they are addressing things about Loki that should be addressed in canon.
Loki projects. Most notably in the Avengers, but also a bit in Thor 1 and The Dark World, a lot of Loki’s lines can be applied to himself, though he is talking generally or towards another group. What comes to mind is actually something he touches upon again in the series. The illusion of freedom. And though it is not said that line in particular is him thinking of himself, it can be inferred based on his admission that the line in the gifs above apply to him. Also that little gesture when he says “weak” breaks me. He’s hurting so much.
Loki is not a villain. He may think he’s one because everyone else is telling him that, yet we’re already seeing it brought up that it’s not true. I can only hope that we’ll see Loki state this himself later in the series. He was largely forced to do what he did. It is not his fault, so how can he be a villain?
Loki cares. Tom’s acting is just *chef’s kiss* Seeing his mother’s death hurts so much. I love that his first response is denial. Loki is thrown into something he’s never known about before, being shown things that, to his knowledge, have never happened. But then when he’s had a few seconds to wander around the TVA on his own terms, he’s more come to grips with all that’s going on. So, when he’s by himself and see’s Frigga lying there, dead, it gets to him. Then seeing Odin still call him his son, he feels the slightest glimmer of hope, but also regret; he already knows in the back of his mind that he’s not actually going to get that. Loki’s living from second to second, trying to hold on. He probably thinks this ends with his death. (I do have issues with that Odin scene in context of Ragnarok but that’s more a tangential aside, so I’ll gloss over it for now.) Then seeing Thor and himself acting like brothers again is heartwarming. So just when he’s feeling uplifted, Thanos comes into the picture. He realizes how much control the titan still had over his life; he never really escaped. And in the end, Thanos made good on his promise. And that is terrifying! And he laughs at it. It’s a sad sort of laugh, one that’s slightly crazed. Loki feels that no matter what he does, it ends in pain. By the end of seeing all that, he is a man broken. Rather, more broken than he already was.
Loki is struggling. That’s nothing profound; it’s obvious. But where it really stands out to me is actually in a part I originally thought to be out of character. I am referring to “What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it.” Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s actually that his perception of himself has been so thrown that he really isn’t sure about his own chemical makeup anymore. Odin and Frigga keeping from him that he’s a frost giant made him so unsure of himself, he thought he might not even be a living being.
Nervous tics. Was I the only one noticing his leg bouncing when he talked to Mobius? And what about that scene when he’s sitting on the steps? He begins to pick at his hands. Note, that’s something he did in T1 after finding out he was a frost giant and while confessing to the Warriors Four about how he was the one who told the guard of their trip to Jotunheim. Just a little detail I really appreciated. (If anyone has gifs of any of these things, feel free to share :)
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Mobius. I’ll be honest, I’m a bit undecided. I’m hesitant to say he’s evil. After all, we haven’t seen that much of him yet. However, I will say he is unscrupulous and manipulative. His questions weren’t to help Loki work through his trauma. Mobius was trying to goad him into helping, and likely was trying to gauge how much this Loki is like the variant he’s tracking. When Loki makes any admission of his feelings, it’s something he already knew, not a conclusion Mobius helped him reach. Mobius mocks him a bit and pushes his buttons because he sees Loki as a means to an end, and wants to know how easily he can get him to work with him. And what strikes me is how similar Mobius’s deal is to Thor’s deal in TDW. Thor doesn’t offer Loki freedom, he offers revenge. Mobius’s deal is just another variation of this. He can’t offer “salvation” but he can offer something “better”. Working for the TVA really isn’t better, though. So what does he mean? Well, I think he means a chance for Loki to prove he’s a hero. I hope as the show progresses it’s addressed that Loki doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone. That’s what he’s been doing his whole life, but I want Loki to see for himself that he doesn’t have to.
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Miss Minutes. Propaganda. Plain and simple, it’s propaganda. Besides the way it praises the “time keepers” as amazing saviors, necessary to keep the world in order, it’s essentially saying “don’t think for yourself.” The whole point of the video is “the time keepers are great. The TVA is flawless. Trust us to decide everything. You have no autonomy in the world we want, so surrender your free will. Submit to the system we’ve decided is perfect and everything will be just fine.” Of course, by “just fine” they mean the variant will be pruned and the timeline will keep going as the time keepers see fit. The animation style was great though! It really fit.
The infinity stones. I think their inclusion makes sense. If you remember from Endgame, the stones being in the right place in the right time keeps the timeline from branching, and thus prevents the multiverse from being created. Likely, the time keepers used the stones to make their “sacred timeline.” Naturally, any variant time stones would cause a problem. That’s why they have so many extras. But think about how pointless so much of what happened seems. Nat, Gamora, Vision, Tony, everyone who was snapped, everyone who was left. So, literally the entire universe was flipped upside down for paperweights. It really puts Thanos’s pursuit of the stones into perspective, doesn’t it?
The cloaked figure. I think there’s some misdirection going on here in one way or another. Mobius says he’s chasing a Loki variant, then immediately it cuts to a scene with the cloaked figure. Our minds are likely to assume that is the variant then. But they don’t actually say it’s Loki, so I’m inclined to believe it’s not. Though, I don’t have enough information to say who I do think it is, I could make a couple of educated guesses and say Mephisto (he certainly interacted with Loki in the comics, plus there’s the stained glass window) or Sylvie. Well, whoever Sophia Di Martino’s character is. I know she was previously listed as Sylvie on sources such as IMDb, but that has since disappeared. But why would you have a “young Sylvie” (Cailey Fleming) without an older version? There is speculation Di Martino’s character will be Lady Loki, but I hope this won’t happen. If they make Lady Loki her own character, I doubt we’ll see Variant Loki get to be fluid. Even if it’s confirmed on the record, it’d be nice to see actually happen beyond a piece of paper. And with twist villains being such a prominent force in modern media, I’m interested to see who our cloaked friend really is.
Time travel. Like I said earlier, this is a lot. But I can’t talk about the episode and not mention this aspect in at least a little more depth. I don’t like how the MCU deals with time travel. I think it’s an unnecessarily complicated mix of a number of different, already complicated theories. However, I think Loki will ultimately escape from the TVA and create a multiverse too difficult to prune (and maybe he’ll actually get to burn the place down too!) This will then tie directly into Doctor Strange 2. Do you guys know what that’s called? The Multiverse of Madness. Actually, in the Miss Minutes propaganda, they almost exactly say “will throw the multiverse into madness.” Will we get to (finally!) see a certain raven-haired god meeting Dr. Strange? And maybe even the Scarlet Witch herself? Well, I’m not sure, but right now I think it’s looking pretty good!
And some random things that didn’t really anywhere else:
Peggy is in the background?! My thought here is that Steve wasn’t supposed to stay with her. This made not only a Variant Steve, but also a Variant Peggy. We may not see Steve, but I bet he’s been taken care of too!! And who knows? Maybe there will be a cameo later. Otherwise, it might be something that was cut from the show, or just a fun easter egg of sorts.
The score was so good! It sets the mood perfectly.
Loki is a good fighter. Even if he’s overpowered, he finds a way.
Some of the humor didn’t land, but that might just be a personal thing.
So now my final thoughts. It’s their strongest pilot yet. So much emotion crammed into less than an hour. A lot of exposition, too, yet it didn’t feel tedious (Endgame I’m looking at you). And then we get to delve into Loki’s psyche, something that really appeals to me! Overall, 9/10. I hope the rest of the series is as good!
Did I miss anything? Was there something you were hoping I’d mention and didn’t? Or do you have something to add or (politely!) disagree with? I’d love to hear it all! Remember, fandom is a safe space to talk about, analyze, and debate about things you enjoy. My ask box is always open with anon on. Reblogs and comments are great too. Thanks!
Me after watching the episode:
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bored-storyteller · 4 years ago
Note
uh I love your storys about Uta ^^. You write him so good and in character . Could you maybe write a story about him were him and the reader ( human) meeting at an auction like reader was captured and meets Uta there . But maybe they escape the auction house and meet Uta sometime after this again. I`m sorry I love Uta angst and fluff .
Dear anon. I'll tell you, your request inspired me a lot (that's why I did it right away), but I must confess that I'm not really satisfied with the result and I'm sorry (I rewrote it three times). I have to thank my poor summary skills for this defeat, I don't think I managed to really give you what you asked me. Feel free to send me clarifications or a further request for me to remedy!
43- Tokyo Ghoul, Uta x human!reader
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“The bird of ill omen and the broken toy”
You are in front of his eyes, huddled in a corner of the cold and dark container. On your knees, tied up, you are the condemned to death ready to face the gallows, or rather you are a delicious dish wrapped in its most beautiful dress to entice the spectators.
"Oh, look here ... what a delightful creature."
You are not the main article, you are not the rare object, yet your smell has brought him there. Uta is not a glutton, but he couldn't resist the temptation to peek at whoever was carrying such an inviting fragrance.
"This is really a shame ..." his voice is sweet, calm, yet ironic and cruel. Yes, it's a shame that he has to give you to some miserly ghoul.
Uta doesn’t usually prefer a certain type of food, he is not delicate or picky, nor does he have problems eating even his similar ones. But he has to admit that while those bright eyes of yours, shining with tears and desperation, look at him, he really would like to be able to eat them. Yes, it is rare for someone to stimulate his appetite in this way, customers really have to thank him for his self-control.
You are so small in his shadow, and even if you tremble, even if you smell of fear, he sees no hope in your eyes.
You know you have no escape. As little as you may be when it comes to ghouls, you know you can't save yourself. You heard them talk.
You would rather die now than continue that torture.
He feels it, and oh, how tempted he is to grant your wish.
He leans over you, he wants to see you well, he wants to hear you. The demonic beak of his mask brushes against you, rubs against your temple like the muzzle of a mother cuddling his cub, or the muzzle of a lion that is playing with his prey.
Maybe, if he had met you in another situation ... maybe ...
No. He doesn't necessarily have to devour you. Nothing is ever said with Uta, even he knows it, he knows himself. Who knows what would have happened if you had met somewhere else. Who knows who you were, elsewhere.
In conclusion, you were both unlucky: you cannot survive, and he cannot be the one to eat you. You have something in common.
"Uta!"
Roma's voice makes its way, muffled by the metal container in which you are locked up - like a ready meal -
"I'm coming!" It's time for him to go on stage, for you it's time for the final bow.
He doesn't tell you anything anymore, he doesn't need to. He will say goodbye to you that same evening, but he feels a little happy that you are among the last items to be exhibited.
He still gives you a look, you, little shaking puppet, sweet broken toy. Who can fix you anymore?
After that, he leaves you behind, abandoned in the cold darkness of your last hours in solitude, as he plunges into the cold light of demons, ready to entertain his fellow men with his affable ways. What a crazy world you are both in.
. . .
Locked in your cold prison, if you could you would cover your ears in a desperate attempt to get away from the announcements and screams, but it's impossible for you. So you wait, trembling in your shell of panic, not knowing what to do. If only you had at least a vain hope, a false chance. If only you could save yourself, for some reason, any reason then yeah, oh, how dear life would be to you thereafter. But you can't even think now.
And you don't even realize that the noises change. The cries of the victims become the cries of the executioners, and the applause becomes breathless footsteps in search of a safe place. But you don't know it, or at least not until they get closer, more distressed. They are probably running away. But who can save you? Who knows you are there? Who can remember you?
And in fact, no one stops, no one frees you, and the footsteps and the screams brush against you and pass you, without bothering to kill or save you. At least you think so.
But as soon as the silence comes, the creaking of the doors opening makes you lift your face, towards the light.
He is there again, and you wonder if that Bird of ill Omen is not your hallucination. With that bizarre suit, that hateful mask, and those ancient letters around his neck that seem ready to strangle him.
He doesn't talk to you. He is simply looking at you, you feel him looking at you, behind that deadly beak. In the silence that surrounds you, whether it is a real silence or created by mutual presence, he suddenly occupies your every thought in those few seconds of eternity. Maybe it's the touch of death that wanders your mind, but suddenly unusual questions arise in you. Who knows who he is, what he does. What does he like and what not ... does he live in the alleys of the city, or maybe, instead, without that mask he pretends to be someone?
He came to take you and devour you. But it almost seems like a strange barrier is keeping him away from you.
And while you are suspended in this limbo of cold resignation, as he came he disappears, and with his disappearance he takes away from you that sad calm that had enveloped you.
The panic returns as someone approaches.
Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Clean eyes, a clean face, no mask is looking at you agitated. You don't know how to answer, you don't even know if what you are seeing is true.
“I'm a human, I'm a CCG investigator. Don't worry, it's okay, we'll get you out of here. "
Without your being fully aware of it, you find yourself in warm, safe arms that take you away from hell behind you. You didn't even realize you were crying.
. . .
He recognized your smell right away.
Even if it's been some time since his meeting with you, it's hard to forget something that has affected him so much, especially if it is something that has particularly touched his sensitivity over that of others.
And it's not that Uta is then easily surprised, he is ready to expect anything from that crazy world, yet you manage to upset him without even knowing that he is there.
You are smiling. And that's not the fact, but at the same time it is. You are smiling sweetly, sincerely. Your eyes are clear and bright, and you are listening to someone talking to you about their petty problems without batting an eye.
That night, that night he met you, he came back to eat you. He was not a ghoul who got lost in gluttony, but given the situation he had a particular interest in the statement "carpe diem".
He hadn't, in the end. In the end he just looked at you. It would have been easy to swallow you, but he had left you there. He had told himself that he hadn't made it in time, but who knows what was really going through his head at that moment.
It doesn't matter anymore, however. What's a broken toy like you doing so quietly exposed? How can you smile at people like that, when surely the world around you has crumbled into millions of little bits?
You make him angry, you know? Humans like you, whom the world keeps getting back on their feet despite everything, provoke anger in him.
And you are there, a few steps away from him, and you do not realize that the one who had the task of trampling your life is watching you.
And no matter how much anger he may feel inside of him, he can't help but look at you, as you speak comfortable words to someone, while you give your attention as if you have no problem.
"Uta?" Renji's voice, intent on looking at him from behind the coffee shop counter, makes him look away from you.
"Nh? Ah… ”His gaze falls on his now coffee-stained lap. The stain is almost invisible on the black sweater, but it is damp and warm.
"Don't laugh ... can you give me a towel please?"
"I'm not laughing." Yet Uta could swear that in the serious voice of his trusted friend a note of amusement is audible even to those who do not know him.
Carefully he puts the cup back on the saucer, making sure not to do any further damage.
This then. When was he ever so distracted for a human?
But when he instinctively looks for you, after all that nice little theater, you're not there anymore. The table you occupied is empty.
Only one object remained abandoned on the shiny surface. A book lies alone, the bookmark sticking out in the middle.
It is placed on the side where you sat. Did you leave in such a hurry that you left it there?
It is not that he has a real reason to do it, yet, while he is about to leave :Re, with all the tranquility that characterizes him, he picks up that literary volume in his hands, hiding it inside his jacket. Even that printed paper is imbued with your smell by now.
. . .
You talk to books, apparently. The edges of the pages are filled with thoughts written in pencil. They are all yours, it almost seems like you use the books as your diary, but there is nothing so personal about you. They are just… points of view. The world told by you, depending on the inspiration that the phrases in the book give you.
"It must be difficult to live in a world where you can talk to your food about your favorite book."
When Uta's eyes had settled on that particular phrase, he had closed. For someone else it might have been a stupid phrase, probably, but for him it was like a punch in the stomach.
He doesn't know if you wrote it before or after the accident, but in any case that simple sentence arouses a mixture of emotions that he doesn't really know where to place. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't understand what it meant to be a ghoul in that world, but on the other hand, the utopia in which Renji seems so hoping could be made up of people like you. If only he believed it, Uta could like that world, as long as there was a place in that world for someone like him.
“Excuse me, did you happen to find a book yesterday? I'm afraid I left it here by mistake. " Your cordial voice betrays a note of alarmism as you speak to the young girl. Your hands grip the counter as if it were a rock of salvation, but your feet are ready to run elsewhere, to look somewhere else in case it isn't there.
"Oh ... no, I'm sorry, I haven't seen any books." Touka's voice is sorry, an apologetic tone hovers between her words.
"Oh, damn ... sorry, thanks anyway!" Your words are so hasty, so quick that he doesn't have time to interrupt them.
The bell rings and the door closes with a click.
"You have it, don't you?" Renji never misses anything - or almost -.
"Yeah, it’s better that I give it back to them before they run all over Tokyo on foot."
"How long have you been so thoughtful?"
Uta allows himself to take a last look at the silver-haired ghoul from over his sunglasses, as he prepares to leave the cafe: "I'm always thoughtful."
. . .
The snow has just started to fall. It is light and silent, the parks of the metropolis have not yet begun to turn white.
You would gladly stay and watch the show from the heat of your home, if it weren't for that damn book you forgot somewhere. Oh, you love your books, but they're so good at hiding. You were convinced you left it in the coffee shop!
"Excuse me…"
A cordial voice caresses your eardrums. It's so warm and peaceful, yet a chill shiver stops the blood in your veins.
Turning around, you meet a man dressed in black. He is strange, but it doesn't surprise you, there are a lot of strange people in such a big city, even people who wear sunglasses on a snowy day.
You had already seen him in the cafe, but you didn't dwell on him. Not because he doesn't get your attention, just… it was an instinct.
“I think you were looking for this. I found it yesterday by chance. "
Clear and tapered fingers hand you your much-desired book. On fair skin, intertwining dark patterns form inexplicable designs, at least for you, but you're sure they have a lot to say, don't they?
Slowly you reach out your hand, and hesitantly touch the cover, to resume what you were looking for.
The night of the accident did not disappear. You are scared. You are afraid of death, but even more of pain, of imprisonment. You are afraid of fear itself. However, you are also afraid of not living, of wasting, of losing.
You are in a limbo that does not let you escape, and you can not help but continue your life, savoring every second, waiting for the Bird of ill Omen to come and get you.
So you push back the mistrust again, and a grateful and kind smile goes to the one who helped you, without asking for explanations.
"Thank you very much." Your voice reaches his pierced ears with such unexpected sweetness.
"It was a pleasure." His smile, decorated with the piercing, is barely hinted at, but delicate - reassuring? -
And for endless moments you look at each other, in silence, without speaking and without thinking. And then, as if nothing had happened, the dances between prey and predator begin.
"Can I buy you a coffee?"
. . .
Your eyes look at him shiny, frightened. You are still in a cage, imprisoned by a body that will soon be ready to consume you.
Uta wonders if you really never anticipated this. All the times you've crossed paths, have you really ever been in doubt? Every time you looked at him, every time you smiled at him or laughed at his words, did you never guess the truth? No, maybe you've always known it from the start, broken toys never work too well.
The mask of that evening, like a macabre mockery - both for him and for you - is leaning on the work table, not far from you, looking at you placidly. It’s a coincidence that he pulled it out just in the morning.
Suddenly the images of that day come back between you two, like a dream. The incomprehensible to you tattoo on his neck has a creepy look overwhelmed by the shadows that the soft lights create on the ghoul.
Fear invades you, like a script. Yet, while the Bird of ill Omen looms over you, trapping you in the corner of the room with his arms, your terror is different from what he had already seen in you. Today it is almost more visible, less controlled, as you tremble beneath him.
Maybe it's the surprise of being caught in a trap by someone who – perhaps- you had slowly begun to love – despite everything-, or maybe, simply, inside you a little hope still survives.
Uta's head bends, and the tip of his nose brushes your neck, smelling the coveted perfume that had so attracted him.
If you're so scared, how did you smile all that time? How did you keep going? How did you keep loving that world?
Beside his mask, as a warning of future torment, your dear book lies silent, ready to say goodbye. You lent it to him last time, he asked you for it.
Your smell is as strong, sweet, delicious as ever - so why is his stomach closing up? -
His jaws open, and as delicate as cruel they enclose your fragile neck. In them, the accelerated beats of your heart, still alive, make him tremble.
One bite and you will be nothing but dead flesh, and he hesitates.
He had to kill you before it was too late, right? Uta should know himself well enough, he had to understand right away what was happening inside him.
A sigh, and then his lips pull away, his saliva stops wetting you. He is not hungry, he has already eaten.
He is still upon you, but now he is only looking at you, with his eyes of blood and darkness. You, like a frightened puppy, remain shaking in a corner for a few moments, lost in his pupils. And then, like a crazy lightning bolt, you run away, as you have always run away. You slip under his arms, and as fast as you can you reach the door of the shop.
Uta watches you go, swallows bitter air, and then bows his head, surrendered.
What will happen now? Will you shut up in fear? Will you tell anyone? Only time will tell.
He slowly gets up, his hands caressing each other's tattooed arms, in a distracted gesture of protection, as he approaches the table. His fingers touch it, and then squeeze it, while he looks at the book that is left alone again, without your eyes on it.
And then, suddenly, as if he had woken up from a dream, he notices something: your smell has not vanished.
Turning his view, he sees you. You are still there, or maybe you are back there.
Now it is you who are on the side of the light, and he is in the corner of the cage. The Bird of ill Omen has become the broken toy, left alone among his masks.
"What's up?" No matter the crack inside, Uta always looks so mature, peaceful, even after he has threatened to kill you.
You take a step towards him, but your outstretched arm continues to secure yourself to the door jamb. If you left he wouldn't follow you, you know that right?
"I ... I think I'm crazy, Uta ..." You too realize how much your behavior is against logic, how foolish it is to remain - to search - in your nightmare. But on the other hand, humans ... no, people, when they are desperate, lose the light of reason, and do wrong things. Things the world says are wrong. That world, which claims to be the only one, when it is nothing more than a facade, a corner of something much larger.
"Yes, I think so too." He really thinks so. You have to be crazy to still be there, at least as crazy as he is. "Why are you still here?"
You shrug your shoulders, hugging yourself more out of shyness than out of fear - yeah, you're no longer afraid, it's as if you've run out of batteries.
"I ... as long as I'm alive I can choose, right?" It came out of your lips so naturally that you didn't even realize it was you who uttered that sentence, yet it's a truth so deep, so intense that it has guided you from that damn night to this day.
"And what are you choosing?"
Your eyes cast a fleeting glance outside, at the glimmer of the city, and without hesitation you gently accompany the door to close, imprisoning you. Imprisoning both of you.
Maybe it's a prison, but this time it's really your choice. You are with that Bird of ill Omen, but you are not tied up, you are not thrown to the ground in a cold corner. You are with him, surrounded by works of art that stare at you impassively, but it was you who decided it.
"I choose not to ignore anymore ..." Your fingers intertwine with each other, you play with them as if you need to keep them busy as you approach him. He is waiting for you. "I want to understand."
"How can you understand?" He would like to tell you, but he doesn't say a word, because not even he can understand you. What kind of mask would suit you? Who knows, yet he has learned enough about you that he should be able to think of at least one. But no, you are always there, hoping for something, believing that after all, living is worthwhile.
So he stays there, even when you lean against him. Not a contact, but a fusion. Stomach against stomach, lungs against lungs, heart against heart. Your hands cling to his arms only to hold him closer, and as he looks at your closed eyes he knows you're listening to him. You're trying to feel his every breath, every twitch of him. You want to get inside him, and he lets you do it - isn't that what he wanted too?
The predator and the prey united in a single entity for an eternal instant.
It's all so against the moral and social rules, but what do you care now? You already know he could kill you. And in that world that goes round and round without stopping, a black writing in an ancient language that also goes around a greedy neck could be your starting point for putting the pieces back together. Maybe it's a disease, maybe it's madness, but deep down, why not? Why not go a little further? Better to die than to be afraid to live, right?
"How much confidence ..."
His voice further softened by his whisper makes your previously closed eyelids lift. His nocturnal eyes look at you slightly narrowed, a slight upward crease caresses his lips without even knowing it. It is difficult for Uta to do something without being aware of it.
He is very beautiful. Beautiful and awful.
"Can't I?"
The world out there, the crazy little world is gone.
"Well, why not ... you are my food, after all."
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whatwillyoudodifferently · 4 years ago
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Look, Louts! Lilies! - Yuri For A Hope-Flung Present and Hopeful Future
Look, I’ll be frank. I typically try to keep to a more formal tone when I write for this blog. I’m not in a formal mood. It is June October 2020, and I, like the rest of you, have been under quarantine for a little over three almost seven months now due to the Covid-19 virus. Throw in a eensy, teensy bit of massive political movements and change in response to police violence and racism, and an increase of police violence and racism in response to those movements, and I think it’s fair to say it’s been a tumultuous couple of months. Except, strangely, it also hasn’t been, because so much of this time has been characterized by ennui and isolation. Stressful, yet soul-numbing. In short, it’s been a very weird place to be in.
So, we’ve all found our different ways to cope. My sister’s way has been getting really into succulents(?), and my way has been buying digital manga and video games. I’ve finished stuff I’ve put off for literal years and bought stuff I had heard was good but wasn’t that hyped to get into. And somehow, the one thing I’ve really gotten into has been yuri? 
Now, yuri has a very long and rich history, as well as its own sets of conventions and nuances, so it is with a great, great, GREAT deal of respect that I say that I’m going to simplify it for this essay as “Japanese media with a particular focus on romance between women” for brevity’s sake. If you want to know more, there’s actually quite a lot that’s been written about it in English, but I’m aiming this essay at English-speakers who have had at least a little experience with yuri and more than just passing knowledge.
Because you see, I’ve found that yuri fans have a lot of things to say about yuri! And a lot of those things really bug me!! “Yuri is only fetish quasi-porn written by men,” “yuri is only bland wholesome fluff,” “yuri is only high school drama,” so on, so on. It made me mad, but it also made me realize something: a lot of people simply must not know how big this field of lilies truly is! How else can we get people saying “yuri is oversexualized” and “yuri is sexless” as gospel truth? Something’s not adding up here, guys!
So, all that is to say I’m doing something different for this blog: I’m writing up a recommendation list of yuri. A large chunk of it will be stuff I’ve read and can officially give my seal of approval to, while some of them are just titles I’ve heard of that I think will interest others. All of them have been specifically chosen to counter common untrue things I’ve heard about yuri as a whole. I hope you can find at least a few things on this list that you will enjoy and help you keep your head as the encroaching darkness lurches yet a few inches closer!
1. “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s the sci-fi, the period pieces, the action, the fantasy?”
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Otherside Picnic
What It Is: A light novel series written by Iori Miyazawa (illustrated by shirakaba). Ongoing, four volumes at time of writing. The story is being adapted into a manga by Eita Mizuno, and an anime adaptation directed by Takuya Satou will be airing in January 2021.
What It’s About: It was on her third trip to the Otherside that Sorawo Kamikoshi almost died, and it was on that same trip she was saved by an angel. Toriko Nishina is a beautiful and confident young woman who also happens to have intimate knowledge of the Otherside, a dangerous yet captivating world that Sorawo can’t help but being drawn to. Toriko convinces Sorawo to join her on her expeditions to the Otherside, fighting off bizarre creatures that have somehow been ripped out of Japanese urban legends and finding strange artifacts in order to make a little extra cash-- all the while keeping an eye out for someone dear to Toriko’s heart.
What I Think: Otherside Picnic is heavily inspired by the novel Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky and features several creatures and scenarios from ghost stories, net lore, and-- there’s no other way to put this-- creepypasta. On paper this sounds deeply unoriginal, so it’s pretty surprising that OP has an incredibly strong identity. The idea of fusing horror with a yuri love story excited me enough the moment I heard about it, so when I finally got to read it for myself, I was delighted to find that the horror elements and the romance elements are both quite strong. 
I will say that thanks to the author’s commitment to following his sources of inspiration to the letter sometimes causes him to undercut his own writing (good example: in one arc there’s an ominous train that keeps being mentioned, causing the reader to dread its arrival with each passing page, but seeing what’s on the train will inevitably fall flat in comparison to the reader’s imagination), but those moments are made up by the more original moments-- the things that are left unseen and unexplained.
The place where the story truly shines is the relationship between the two leads. Sorawo and Toriko are great characters, both incredibly charming and deeply flawed, and they achieve a great chemistry with each other right off the bat. Sorawo is a very interesting protagonist, one who turns out to have a deeply tragic past that has made her into a reclusive, somewhat selfish young woman. What’s great is that Toriko, vivacious and confident, everything Sorawo isn’t, accepts this part of her, in a way. Toriko flat out admits she’s not looking for a particularly virtuous person to accompany her, but an “accomplice.” A big part of the appeal of OP is seeing these two “accomplices” bounce off each other, and eventually come to care about each other, all playing against a background of some genuinely spine-crawling horror. Otherside Picnic is a truly underrated series, and I deeply hope that the anime adaption next year will finally get it all the eyes it deserves (menacing phrasing very much intended).
Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores. The manga will be published by Square Enix Books starting May 2021. The anime will start airing on January 4th, 2021.
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Goodbye My Rose Garden
What It Is: A manga by Dr. Pepperco. Three volumes, complete. It inspired a stage play that ran for a while in Japan, but not much information is available about it in English. 
What It’s About: Hanako has two goals: to meet Victor Franks, the mysterious author who pens the books she adores, and to become a writer herself. Despite having the mettle to travel to England on her own to pursue her dreams, she soons finds that it’s difficult for a young, unwed Japanese woman to dream in 20th century London. However, her luck seems to turn around when she meets Alice Douglas, a noblewoman who offers her a job as her maid-- as well as a surprisingly warm friendship. Alice even offers Hanako a way to meet her idol… but at the price of a horrifying request.
What I Think: In the afterword of Volume 1, Dr. Pepperco openly admits that Goodbye, My Rose Garden was the result of them trying to marry all of their favorite tropes (“Victorian maids! Loads of frills! An English family manor!” are some standout items), and this is apparent in the best way possible. GMRG is a lush period piece that will likely appeal to fans of movies like The Handmaiden and Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, with loving attention paid to details like clothes and settings. 
The relationship between Alice and Hanako is quite charming, with Alice supporting Hanako as much as she can while still taking every available opportunity to tease her, while Hanako constantly surprises Alice each time she shows her moxie and strength. It’s an adorable, sweet dynamic, yet a dark, melancholy weight lurks in the background in the form of Alice’s request-- in short, it’s a relationship that feels tailor made for me. Still, I believe this “darkness” never threatens to overwhelm the story, only enhance it in such a way that the reader will soldier on, hoping for a happy ending for our two leads. With an engaging plot and gorgeous art, this is a great manga for both longtime yuri fans and newcomers looking for an introduction to the world of yuri.
Where To Get It: Seven Seas Entertainment has translated the first two volumes, with the final one coming to English soon all three volumes into English.
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Seabed
What It Is: A visual novel by paleontology, a Japanese doujin circle.
What It’s About: Mizuno Sachiko is a designer who is haunted by visions of Takako, her vivacious childhood friend and former lover. Narasaki Hibiki is a psychiatrist who wants to help Sachiko make sense of these hallucinations. Takako is… confused, trying to figure out why she keeps losing her memory and why she and Sachiko drifted apart despite being so close. Seabed is a story that spans the pasts and presents of these three women as they attempt to find and understand the truth.
What I Think: At first glance, Seabed seems simple, but it’s a bit of a hard story to explain. In a way, there isn’t much to explain-- it’s a very slow, down-to-earth story that gets almost tedious at times. I think it would be a hard sell to someone who isn’t used to visual novels, but I could imagine it being challenging even for fans. All I’ll say is this: if you give Seabed a chance, it will draw you into a surreal, gentle, melancholy tale akin to slowly sinking beneath the water of a strange, yet not unfriendly sea. For its simplicity, it’s got quite a few surprises in its long, long runtime, and any attempt to explain further will just ruin an experience that’s meant to wash over the reader over time. The only thing I’ll say is the one thing I think everyone knows: the climax will make you cry.
Where To Get It: Seabed is published in English through Fruitbat Factory and is available on Steam, Itch.io, and Nintendo Switch.
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SHWD
What It Is: A manga by Sono. Ongoing.
What It’s About: Sawada is one of the few women working for the Special Hazardous Waste Disposal, and the only one in her office. But that changes when the stunningly-strong yet staggeringly-sweet Koga is hired, and the two become close in no time. Sawada trains Koga and soon the two go on their first mission to dispose of the “hazardous waste” left after a recent war… the dangerous, organic anti-human weapons known as the Dynamis.
What I Think: SHWD opens with several close-ups of Sawada’s arm muscles as she works out. I have found that page alone is sometimes enough to convince someone to read SHWD, and if not, pictures of Sawada and-- especially-- Koga are often enough to do the job. In all seriousness, what I love about SHWD can be summarized by something Sono said in an interview about the manga:
‘The first motivating force was "I want to write a yuri manga featuring strong women." I was very drawn to strong female characters by watching "PERSON of INTEREST" and "Assassin's Creed Odyssey." However, I felt that I should differentiate myself by doing something other than a "strong woman" and "weak woman" dynamic. So, I thought about coupling women with different types of strength. This is why all of the SHWD main characters are "strong women."’
It’s a mindset I love a lot. Koga is remarkably strong in a physical sense, but her mental fortitude is fragile due to her past experiences with the Dynamis, and as such, it’s Sawada who uses her immense mental strength to support her. Indeed, every character in SHWD so far bears intense trauma born of the Dynamis in some way, and it’s hard to see how their pasts still hurt them in the present. But that just makes it satisfying to see these women come together to support one another. SHWD drew me in with a unique and often dark action-oriented story with horror elements, but it’s this idea of “strong women” who make up for each other’s weaknesses that really makes it dear to me. 
Also, it can’t be stated enough that Sono is so so so so so (etc) good at drawing muscular women. 
On a completely unrelated note, there’s a side story about Koga and Sawada playing sports together. This includes judo. I am saying this for no reason.
Where To Get It: The English translation of the manga is released in chapters by Lilyka Manga.
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Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!
What It Is: A two volume light novel series by Ameko Kaeruda, illustrated by Kazutomo Miya. Possibly complete.
What It’s About: Tanya Artemiciov is an absurdly talented Mage. So why the hell was she kicked out of her adventuring party? Her leader and former friend sums it up in four words: “You’re a woman, Tanya.” In a fit of rage, Tanya channels her anger into a “venting” session that involves swearing her head of and casting a volley of Explosion spells into the wasteland… and accidentally releases a legendary sorceress! Luckily, Laplace is actually quite nice, and just as powerful as the legends say, so the two decide to team up so Tanya can have her revenge!
What I Think: So, this is a silly one, but after a couple of darker entries I think it’s a good palate cleanser. Sexiled is a loud, not-even-remotely subtle, unabashedly feminist take on the “power fantasy” light novel, especially the “revenge fantasy” subgenre-- and even if that sounds awesome on paper to you (ex. me), it will probably feel over-the-top at times to you (ex. me). But in a way, that’s actually kind of its charm. 
I like that Kaeruda utterly refuses to let up on what she wants to tell you, especially because the story was inspired by a real case in Japan. One may be tempted to think “this story is ridiculous, no one would ever be this cartoonishly sexist!” and then you read a news article about how in a famous Japanese medical university was found rigging the test scores of women, and you realize, “oh, people are still this cartoonishly sexist.” So I’m fine with Kaeruda letting it all out in this story. At the same time, I think Sexiled is best when it’s focused not on Tanya’s revenge but on her kindness, and the way her compassion, her strength, and yes, her anger inspires the women and girls around her. 
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Sexiled is a fun and often very funny romp about assholes getting theirs, with some surprisingly deep and nuanced moments hiding in a very unsubtle story.
Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.
BONUS: Other titles with sci-fi/fantasy/action elements that may interest you!
The Blank Of Describer: A one-shot manga by kkzt about a pair of two dream-builders. They’ve taken all kinds of commissions in the past, but one job they recieve throws them for a loop: a request for a shinigami that can predict and report death. And then comes the kicker: the customer asks the two of them to give it features that the both of them “adore the most…” (Published in English by Lilyka Manga)
A Lily Blooms In Another World: A light novel by Ameko Kaeruda (illustrated by Shio Sakura), author of Sexiled, about Miyako, a Japanese wage slave reincarnated into another world based on her favorite otome game. However, she’s not interested in her would-be love interest, but in Fuuka Hamilton-- the game’s villainess! After Miyako confesses her love, Fuuka decides to give her a challenge: if Miyako can make her say the words “I’m happy” in fourteen days, she’ll stay by her side! (Published in English through J-Novel Club, available on various platforms)
Superwomen In Love: An ongoing manga by sometime about the sentai villainess Honey Trap and her infatuation with the masked superheroine Rapid Rabbit. After being kicked out of her evil organization, Honey Trap decides to team up with her former nemesis to fight evil-- and hopefully, find romance! (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in April 2021)
2. “Yuri is all stories about teenagers! Where’s the stuff about adults?”
Take a look at the previous section: there’s the stuff about adults! Otherside Picnic, Goodbye My Rose Garden, Seabed, SHWD, Sexiled, The Blank of Describer, A Lily Blooms In Another World, and Superwomen In Love are all stories with adult-aged protagonists! But if you’re searching for a more down-to-earth romance, I’m happy to report there’s quite a bit of options to look into!
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Still Sick
What It Is: A manga by Akashi. Three volumes, complete.
What It’s About: Makoto Shimizu is an office lady with a secret: she’s a yuri fan who draws doujinshi. She’s able to keep her two lives separate, all until the day she comes face-to-face with her co-worker at a convention! To Makoto’s horror, Akane Maekawa is amused by her nerdy secret, but Akane may have some secrets of her own...
What I Think: This one was a roller coaster for me: I loved the premise of the manga, but wasn’t sure about the dynamic between the leads… that is, until near the end of the first volume, where something happened and everything changed. Without giving too much away, I implore people to give Still Sick a chance-- it has a much deeper story than one might initially guess, as well as an interesting character dynamic between the two leads with some surprising turns.
Where To Get It: The first two volumes of Still Sick are published in English by Tokyopop, with the final one coming soon All three volumes have been published in English by Tokyopop.
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After Hours
What It Is: A manga by Yuhta Nishio. Three volumes, complete.
What It’s About: After being ditched by her friend at a club, Emi Ashiana is ready to write the whole night off. All that changes when she meets Kei, a DJ who seems to be everything Emi is not-- cool, confident… employed.... But Kei and Emi hit it off and Emi’s life changes as Kei draws her into the world of Japan’s club scene!
What I Think: It’s hard to explain exactly why I like this manga, but I reeeeally like this manga. 
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There’s just something about the sleek art, the amazing atmosphere of the scenes set in nightclubs, the chemistry between Emi and Kei, the focus on more mature topics.... it’s a manga that’s remarkably magnetic for how down-to-earth it is. It’s also just interesting to read stories about subcultures that don’t normally get a spotlight in comics. To sum it up, After Hours is just a lovely manga that’s severely underrated that’s perfect for someone who’s looking for a story that’s both fun and mature.
Where To Get It: All three volumes are published in English by Viz Media.
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How Do We Relationship?
What It Is: A manga by Tamifull. Ongoing, five volumes at time of writing.
What It’s About: Miwa and Saeko’s first meeting is… interesting. But despite that, and despite their clashing personalities, the two of them become fast friends. Well… actually, perhaps more than friends. You see, pretty soon the two of them learn that the other is into women. With that in mind, Saeko suggests they try dating each other-- might as well, right? “Might as well” seems like a strange place to begin a relationship, but perhaps even something like that could end in true love?
What I Think: “Why do romances always end when they decide to start dating?!” That’s the question Tamifull poses in the afterword of Volume 1. And it’s a great question! What makes How Do We Relationship? an interesting manga is how oddly realistic it is, highlighting things like the compromises people make in relationships, people who get into relationships for pragmatic reasons rather than love, the whole “thing” about sex… as well as highlighting the additional issues queer people have to deal with. That may sound like a heavy story, but it’s actually quite light-hearted, as well as very, very funny at times. With a cute art style and surprisingly deep premise, HDWR is a great manga for older yuri fans who are craving a more mature story.
Where To Get It: The first volume has been published in English by Viz Media, with more on the way.
BONUS: Other titles with adult protagonists that may interest you!
Even Though We’re Adults: A manga by Takako Shimura about two women in their thirties. Ayano and Akari meet each other in a bar and almost immediately feel a sense of chemistry between them. There’s just one problem: Ayano is married to someone else. (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in January 2021)
Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon: A manga by Shio Usui. Uno Hinako wants nothing more than to be seen as a normal young woman, but she just can’t seem to make a “normal” romance work. But maybe Sato Asahi, a woman who works at the same company as her, can show her a new kind of normal? (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in February 2021)
Our Teachers Are Dating: A manga by Pikachi Ohi. Hayama Asuka is a gym teacher, Terano Saki is a biology teacher. One day, they come into work both looking suspiciously happy… because they’ve started dating! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)
I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up: A one-volume manga by Kodama Naoko. Morimoto is sick and tired about constantly being badgered about finding a man to marry, so her kouhai from her high school days offers a solution: marry each other to make her parents back off! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)
Now Loading…!: A one-volume manga by Mikan Uji. Takagi has just snagged her dream job at a games publisher, but being put in charge of a mobile game that’s barely pulling in any attention isn’t exactly what she was hoping for. What’s worse, she’s drawn the attention of her strict higher-up Sakurazuki Kaori… who also happened to design her most favorite game of all time?! (Published in English through Seven Seas Entertainment)
3.  “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s- wait, didn’t we already do this one?”
Yes we did. And you know what? I’m making a stand! There’s a lot of really, really good yuri stories set in high schools, and I think more people need to give them a chance! Here are some high school titles that I think are worth a second look for one reason or another!
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Bloom Into You
What It Is: A manga by Nakatani Nio. Eight volumes, complete. A twelve episode anime aired in 2018, covering about the first half of the series. A three volume spinoff light novel series written by Hitoma Iruma was also published.
What It’s About: Yuu Koito has long dreamed of the day she’d find That One, Storybook Romance that would make her feel like she was walking on air, but the day that a boy confesses to her, her feet remain firmly planted on the ground. When she meets Touko Nanami, a girl who seems to have the same strange, distant relationship to romance as she does, Yuu feels like she has found a comrade. But what will happen when the next person to confess to Yuu… is Touko?
What I Think: What can I say about Bloom Into You that hasn’t already been said? There’s a reason it’s basically considered a staple of yuri despite being only five years old. The art is beautiful and delicate, the story has a deft mastery of comedy, drama, and romance, and the characters are deeply loveable. Really, the only reason this one is here is to tell you to get to reading this manga (or watching the anime) if you haven’t already. So get to it!
Where To Get It: The entire series-- as well as the spinoff light novel series Regarding Saeki Sayaka-- has been published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime is currently streaming on HiDive.
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Yuri Is My Job
What It Is: A manga by Miman. Ongoing, seven volumes at time of writing.
What It’s About: Hime wants nothing more than to be adored by everyone and to someday bag a rich husband. Of course, being loved by all takes a lot of work, and she prides herself in keeping her perfect, adorable facade so well-maintained. But of course, the one time she slips up, she ends up injuring the manager of a local cafe! Hime finds herself strong-armed into working for this cafe under their star employee, a kind, graceful girl named Mitsuki. But things aren’t quite so simple-- you see, this cafe has a gimmick in which all the employees are constantly acting out yuri-inspired scenes for the customers, so in a way, the employees also have their own facades. And under her facade, Mitsuki… hates Hime’s guts!
What I Think: Yuri Is My Job is an odd duck, but in a good way. It’s advertised and initially framed as a comedy, but it becomes a surprisingly thoughtful drama about the personas people adopt and why they do so (though, luckily, the comedy never truly goes away). There’s an interesting web of relationships between the girls, and having those interactions take place in a setting where they must act out a completely different sort of drama adds an extra level of drama and intrigue. The cute, polished artwork is just the icing on the cake. YIMJ is a good manga for those who are already familiar with yuri tropes and those who are interested in a drama that doesn’t get too heavy.
Where To Get It: Six volumes have been published in English by Kodansha comics, with the seventh on the way.
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Riddle Story of Devil
What It Is: A manga written by Yun Kouga and illustrated by Sunao Minakata. Five volumes, complete. A 12 episode anime aired in 2014.
What It’s About: At Myojo Private School, an elite all-girl’s academy, Class Black has a secret. Twelve of the thirteen girls are actually assassins who have been offered a dark deal-- one wish will be granted to whoever manages to kill Haru Ichinose, the thirteenth student. But there’s still hope for Haru in the form of Tokaku Azuma, one of the assassins who has decided to defect to Haru’s side-- and defend her from the other girls at any cost.
What I Think: I’m not sure… if I can say Riddle Story of Devil is “good.” It’s definitely something. Although its premise is vaguely similar to Revolutionary Girl Utena, its tone and atmosphere remind me a lot more of the Dangan Ronpa series. It’s schlocky and ridiculous and often over-the-top and at times exploitative. It’s pure junk food, basically… and I believe that’s where the charm comes from. It’s my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. It may not exactly be good, but more often than not, it’s fun. It’s hard not to be immediately interested in a yuri battle series, you have to admit. 
And if it does have one undeniably good element, it’s Tokaku and Haru’s relationship. They contrast each other nicely, and while one might expect Haru to be boring and helpless, she’s actually quite proactive at times, and some of the most interesting, engaging parts of the series come from seeing how the two work together to fend off the latest assassin. It’s a short read and if anything, it’s worth it to see how each girl ends up. I recommend it for older viewers who are okay with violence and ludicrous battle scenarios.
Where To Get It: All five volumes are available through Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime can be watched through Funimation.*
*Please don’t watch the anime.**
** At the very least, please don’t watch the anime unless you’ve read the entire manga. Riddle Story Of Devil was one of those unfortunate cases where the anime adaption was produced before the manga reached its conclusion, and as such it has a very strange, rushed ending that includes none of what I enjoyed about the actual ending. Several scenes were also changed, and if I recall correctly, fanservice was added in several places where there was none previously. All in all, I’d really only recommend it for big fans of the series.
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Side By Side Dreamers
What It Is: A light novel by Iori Miyazawa, illustrated by Akane Malbeni. One volume, complete.
What It’s About: Saya Hokage has been suffering from insomnia, but one day finds relief in the form of Hitsuji Konparu, a strange girl who can put people to sleep. As it turns out, Hitsuji is a person who has the special ability to move freely in their dreams, known as a “Sleepwalker.” The Sleepwalkers have been battling beings that possess people through their dreams, and it turns out they want Saya to join them in the fight.
What I Think: Side By Side Dreamers is short and… well, dreamy. I really enjoyed the premise and I think it’s a good novel for people who think Otherside Picnic may be a little too much for them. I also enjoyed each dream sequence-- I tend to find that the writing in light novels is a little dry, so the use of figurative language to describe these scenes was really refreshing and interesting. SBSD is a fun oneshot that I think is especially ideal for newcomers to yuri.
Where To Get It: Side-by-Side Dreamers is published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.
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Cocoon Entwined
What It Is: A manga by Yuriko Hara. Three volumes, ongoing.
What It’s About: Hoshimiya Girls' Academy is a strange, almost otherworldly paradise with a peculiar tradition. For all three years, each girl grows out her hair to absurd, breathtaking lengths, in order for it to eventually be cut and weaved into uniforms for future students. Perhaps it is these strange uniforms that seem to whisper about the past that makes the school seem frozen in another time… picturesque, yet stagnant. But one day, a shocking incident shatters the quiet peace of the academy, and the tumultuous feelings that have long been hidden in the hearts of these girls come rushing into the light.
What I Think: Cocoon Entwined is, in a word, eerie. It’s not marketed as a horror story, and I don’t think it’s intended to be one, but I’ve seen some that say they get horror vibes from it. I definitely understand that-- there’s a deep sense of unease that permeates the entire story in a way that’s a bit hard to articulate. The running thread of uniforms made from human hair definitely doesn’t hurt (it does-- I’ve seen many people understandably turned off by this element), but it’s more than that. It’s the sense that everything at Hoshimiya feels frozen and fragile. It’s the sense that everyone is burying their true feelings under countless layers. It’s the fact that in one scene, Saeki reaches out in a dark room full of uniforms and feels her arm touched by countless hands made of hair. 
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Cocoon Entwined is a strange manga, and I feel it’s not for everyone-- besides the way many are put off by the central premise, the way that the story jumps around in time can be a bit confusing to follow. But in my opinion, I love it for these elements: the uniforms and their marriage between beauty and grotesque, the sense of frozen time, the delicate artwork that feels like it might be shattered by the weight of your gaze, the strange, airless atmosphere, the girls and their clear exhaustion of having to be ideal women. It’s a strange little series that I think should be given a shot, particularly if you want something a little more out there, or a darker take on Class S tropes.
Where To Get It: Yen Press has currently published two volumes in English.
BONUS: Other high school titles that may interest you!
A Tropical Fish Yearns For Snow: A manga by Makoto Hagino. Konatsu Amano has just moved to a new town by the sea, and must deal with her new school’s mandatory club policy. Luckily, she meets Koyuki Honami, an older girl who runs the Aquarium Club. Recognizing her loneliness, Konatsu decides to join her club. (Published  in English by Viz Media)
Flowers: A four-part series of visual novels published by Innocent Grey. Flowers focuses on Saint Angraecum Academy, a private high school that prides itself on overseeing the growth of proper young ladies. One notable thing about the academy is the Amitié program, a system that pairs students together in order to foster friendships between the girls. But friendship isn’t the only thing blooming… (Available in English from Steam, J-List, and JAST USA)
Adachi And Shimamura: A series of light novels written by Hitoma Iruma and illustrated by Non that has recently received a manga adaptation and an anime adaption. Adachi and Shimamura are two girls who encounter each other one day while cutting class. Little by little, the two girls become a part of each other’s lives, and feelings begin to form. (The light novels are published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, the anime is licensed by Funimation)
And there we go! 24 different yuri titles. I didn’t even go into the series that I tried but personally didn’t like that still might interest other people. I primarily made this list to gush about yuri that I liked, but I also tried to include a fairly wide range of things so that, hopefully, any random person who read this whole list could find at least one new title that interests them. And I hope that includes you!
The yuri scene is quite large and wonderful if you know where to look, and it too often gets a bad rap. I hope that this list could give you a new perspective on what kinds of titles are available, and I hope it gives you something new to try. And remember: if you want something specific, try looking for it! There’s a good chance the story you’re craving is already out there, waiting to be discovered!
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thetypedwriter · 3 years ago
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All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review
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All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89
So. 
This is a first. 
If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 
At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 
Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 
The reason for this is myriad. 
One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 
Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 
2,000 pages. 
Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 
Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 
Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 
Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 
If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 
Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 
Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 
Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 
I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 
Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 
When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 
I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 
I never left. 
That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 
Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 
In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com
This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 
I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 
That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 
That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 
I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 
Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 
In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 
So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 
While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 
Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.
Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 
Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 
The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 
While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 
While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 
This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 
The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.
….how?
How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 
Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 
Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 
Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 
And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 
Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 
That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 
In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 
Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 
Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 
The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 
MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 
Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 
100 chapters out of 188. 
Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?
A very, very long time. 
However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 
MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 
The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 
I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 
I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 
Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 
Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 
The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 
First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 
Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 
I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 
After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 
The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 
Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 
And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 
Urgh. 
I just can’t. 
That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 
I truly, truly get that. 
But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 
It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 
Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 
Okay. 
Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 
You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 
I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 
How does that make sense?
I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 
Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 
At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 
I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 
To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 
I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 
Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 
Score: 8/10
Links:
1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 
2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 
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smallersocksx · 4 years ago
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My Problems with the Pokémon Journeys Anime
Pokémon Journeys as an anime has divided the Pokémon community in so many ways but in particular last week’s episode has sparked a lot of debate and personally, I had mixed feelings about the end result. So, I thought I would write down my opinions on the Pokémon anime in its current state and comparing it to some of the previous anime.
I feel the need to say this: these are my opinions I am just as entitled to my opinions as you are to yours, so you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. Secondly, this will probably be a long post but I’m going to split it into sections so it’s hopefully not too overwhelming.
But these feelings have been building up and up and I think I’ll feel better writing them all down and getting them off my chest to some extent.
Introduction:
So, I’ve essentially been a fan of Pokémon for as long as I can remember particularly watching the anime when I was very young. The anime didn’t really begin to stick with me though until around AG and DP in particular. The first Pokémon game, I played was DP which is why I have a particular fondness for that series and that cast of characters and Pokémon.
I didn’t watch the series as intently around the time of BW because I found Iris’ character rather annoying and I understand she developed and grew as the series went on but that initial characterization of her kind of ruined the series for me. But I did dip in and out of the series mostly for Ash’s Snivy.
My friend recommended that I watch the XY series and I fell in love with the cast and the storytelling that the series provided as it reminded me of DP. Sun and Moon was a good series as well providing fans with some of the most heart-breaking and tear-jerking episodes to date. (And Rowlet).
When they announced that Journeys was Ash travelling around the world instead of staying and travelling in a specific region, I’ll admit I was sceptical. To be honest, I kind of preferred the old formula particularly as I’m a creature of habit myself but I decided to give this new series a chance as the premise did sound interesting and there was the potential for Ash to reunite with some of his old travelling companions.
With the benefit of hindsight, I realise this was one of the problems: the series kind of relies heavily on the nostalgia provided by older fans.
The Premise:
The whole premise of Journeys was Ash and his new friend, Goh travelling the world and there lies one of the series biggest problems. For a series that is meant to be about travelling around the world, a bulk of the series has been set in Kanto in particular Vermillion City where Sakuragi/Cerise Lab is situated. Now that shouldn’t be a problem as Ash and Go need a place to stay and go home to. The problem is we are nearly 60 episodes into the series, they hardly seem to leave Vermillion City or Kanto for that matter.
I went through all the episode synopses released so far to see how many episodes Ash and Go travelled to an alternative region. In this case a visit to a different region only counts if Ash and Goh (and Chloe) visit the region therefore episode 32 wouldn’t count:
Johto – 2 episodes
Hoenn – 4 episodes
Sinnoh – 2 episodes
Unova – 2 episodes
Kalos – 2 episodes
Alola – 1 episode
Galar – 11 episodes
Arguably, as this is meant to a Gen 8 anime, its not particularly shocking that they have visited Galar the most especially as Ash hopes to battle Leon someday. Nevertheless, the initial premise and selling point of the Journeys series is travelling the world and yet only 2/5 of the series so far has been set outside of Vermillion City. They promised the world (no pun intended) and are kind of falling flat…
 Goh and his goal:
Now Goh is certainly a character that has divided the community some love him and some definitely hate him. Personally, I’m in the middle, I like Goh’s personality I thought his rational and logical personality made him a great counterbalance for Ash. The problem I have with him is: his goal, his rapid character development, and his status as a protagonist.
1)   His Goal:
Goh’s goal is to catch every Pokémon in existence and considering there over 800 Pokémon that is a lofty goal to begin with. Initially, I thought it was an interesting goal as we never had a character wanting to catch every Pokémon as there are some trainers in the anime universe who only specialise in a specific type, some who catch only cute Pokémon, some who only catch evolutionary lines etc. Therefore, I thought this was an interesting goal and wondered how they would execute its portrayal and there lies the problem…
Goh was named after the game Pokémon Go and is essentially being used as a walking advertisement for Pokémon Go and the Let’s Go series as his gimmick is throwing a Poke Ball at a random Pokémon which can get pretty old very fast. I honestly didn’t understand the need to create a character to promote these games as it has been 4 years since the release of Pokémon Go. Arguably, they could be trying to re-ignite the hype around Pokémon Go as after the initial excitement a lot of people stopped playing or uninstalled it as it was taking up a lot of space on their phone.
One of the things, I particularly love about the anime series is not only the human cast gaining character development but their Pokémon as well. Around the AG series, the writers really begun improving on giving each Pokémon their own unique personality traits as well as traits of their species. It gave the Pokémon more depth and made them memorable for example there’s Dawn’s prideful Piplup, Brock’s weird and wonderful Sudowoodoo who would salute every time he came out of his Poke Ball, Clemont’s gluttonous Chespin and Serena’s shy Eevee to later a confident Sylveon. The list could go on and on but I think you get the point. Therefore, this gives me my second issue with Goh’s goal.
Goh’s goal is to catch every single Pokémon currently in existence, with so many Pokémon, there is difficulty feeling any attachment to them. Cinderace and Sobble (and now Grookey) are the Pokémon Goh is most seen with, needless to say, Cinderace underwent a lot of development and was interested in battling which to be honest I found a little strange as Goh’s goal doesn’t particularly align with Cinderace’s interests. Nevertheless, it is clear that Cinderace is Goh’s ace and utilises him when he does need to battle. Sobble didn’t receive any development until 26 episodes after his capture. However, aside from Cinderace and Sobble we don’t feel any particular attachment to his other Pokémon, one strength is that anime does give each of his Pokémon some spotlight like Goh using his Goldeen to teach Jinny’s Feebas how to swim elegantly but aside from that.
My final issue with Goh’s goal is development, from a story-telling point of view his goal isn’t that engaging like with some of the other goals we’ve had in the series. Take Dawn for example her goal is to be Top Coordinator in order to do that she needs to win 5 Ribbons, participate in the Grand Festival and win the Ribbon Cup. On paper it sound simple but it’s not, we have Dawn’s arc where she lost twice in the Performance Stage fell into depression, lost confidence in her abilities and was uncertain as to whether or not she was a good coordinator. It wasn’t until she befriended May and competed against her that Dawn found a renewed sense of confidence in her abilities, even after that Dawn still lost a few contests before being able to compete in the Grand Festival where even then there were a few rough moments like her battle with Ursula.
My point is even though Dawn (and May’s) goal looks simple on paper they had a lot of struggle to get there. Whereas, with Goh’s goal and the current execution of it, I don’t get that same sense of story-telling especially when he’s already caught a Legendary Pokémon, there just isn’t that same level of struggle. The most I could see Goh struggling at this moment is not catching a Pokémon the first time round.
2) His rapid development
One of the biggest issues I have with Journeys is pacing and development, and this issue isn’t just exclusive to Goh. In the beginning, Goh is a rookie trainer after catching Scorbunny and as we saw in the Flute Cup his lack of battling experience caused him to be eliminated very quickly and yet 29 episodes later, he’s defeating a Flygon with a Fire-type and using a technique Ash had once used himself in his battle against Grant. I understand Ash and Goh are close friends and understandably their traits are going to rub off on one another for example Goh’s logic and caution has rubbed off on Ash to the extent Ash had his Dragonite use Dragon Dance in his battle with Korrina. Before this, we’d never seen Ash use these types of moves in his Pokémon battles. I have no issues with Goh developing as a character, everyone loves good character development, my issue is with how rapid it is.
I’ll use Dawn’s arc as an example again, I loved it because it was well-paced, in the first season of DP Dawn was overconfident in her abilities which led to some losses particularly towards the end of the first series and Dawn didn’t fully recover from this until nearly midway through the second series of DP. Arguably, Ash’s influence has caused Goh to develop an interest in battles but I feel like we haven’t seen him go through enough battles to justify the level he is at.
3) His status as a Protagonist
To be honest, I didn’t realise Goh has a protagonist status until someone pointed it out to me, I just saw him as another one of Ash’s travelling companions. This is one of the biggest issues Goh haters have with him and that’s feeling as though Goh is taking the spotlight away from Ash and there are a lot of episodes focusing on Goh. Arguably, Ash has taken on the role of mentor like Brock had done once for him. However, my issue with Goh’s protagonist status is that I don't feel like Goh's goal justifies him having it, even in episodes focusing on Ash and his participation in the World Coronation Series, Goh still manages to catch a Pokémon which as I mentioned before it got old pretty fast. I can understand some people would see this as a good thing they are both closer towards their goals but if an episode advertises its going to focus on one character, I want it to focus on that character.
In some of the previous series when May, Dawn and Serena were participating in Contests or Showcases, Ash would generally put his training the back burner and support his friends. Likewise, his travelling companions would support him during his gym battles. In some cases, Ash would even get ideas for his own battles from watching them compete like the Counter Shield from Ash watching Dawn and Ambipom.
Sometimes, I feel like Goh is there for the sake of being there like in Episode 56, I honestly felt like him and Scyther/Scizor didn’t need to be there. The episode did focus on Ash and Farfetch’d relationship improving but I felt like the only reason Goh was there was to have his Scyther evolve their presence at the training camp didn’t really contribute anything to the story.
Ash and his Pokémon:
Whenever Ash starts a new journey, he always starts with a clean slate leaving his most recent Pokemon with Professor Oak or Kukui. One of the things that excites fans the most is guessing which new Pokemon from the new generation Ash would catch. Arguably, since Sun and Moon, certain traditions have been turned on their head. Some of these traditions included:
Ash catching the regional bird e.g., Starly, Pidove, Fletchling etc.
Catching at least one of the region’s starters
Although, in Sun and Moon, Ash never caught the regional bird and it was one of the first series with Ash not having a water-type either. However, in this current series, Ash only has 2 Generation 8 Pokémon being Farfetch’d (which will evolve into Sirfetch’d) and Dracovish. This is kind of understandable as Ash isn’t based or travelling around Galar but to be honest it’s still disappointing.
As many of you know, in the most recent episode Goh caught Grookey completing the Galar starter trio (which I’ll cover later), however, a majority of the fandom wanted Ash to have Grookey as they felt personality-wise Ash would be compatible with the Chimp Pokémon and it would continue the long-held tradition of Ash catching one of the new region’s starter Pokémon which is why this latest capture has sparked a lot of controversy with some people calling Goh a thief.
Personally, I would have liked Ash to catch Grookey but in one of the earlier episodes like when they first visited Galar. The reason for this being the storyline development and I know many will argue Ash is a Champion he doesn’t need a starter at this point but Leon in the Sword and Shield games took on and trained the starter that was left over after the Protagonist and Hop had chosen theirs. However, as I mentioned earlier one of the things, I love about the anime is each Pokémon having their own personality and character but also their own traumas and trials to overcome alongside their trainer this can be particularly reflected in the case of Ash and Infernape.
I am not trying to suggest they re-create the Ash and Infernape storyline with Ash and a Grookey but one of the ways a Pokémon develops as a character is through evolution or in some cases like Pikachu and Bulbasaur choosing not to evolve and finding strength in staying the way that they are. Pokémon when they evolve can go through personality-changes whether that be good or bad but having a Pokemon at its first evolutionary stage allows us to go through that development and journey with them.
Which is one of the issues, I have with the series, Ash caught two fully evolved Pokémon being Dragonite and Gengar. Before anyone gives me any grief, I love Dragonite and Gengar’s personalities but as they are fully evolved, we don’t get that same sense of development as we’ve had with some of Ash’s other Pokémon. The only development I could see for these two is potentially learning a new move or overcoming a stronger Pokémon alongside Ash. But having two fully evolved Pokémon makes it difficult to go on a journey of development alongside them. There is also the fact, Dragonite and Gengar are meant to be incredibly strong Pokémon and yet Ash hardly uses them.
Another one of the biggest issues in Journeys as previously mentioned is Ash not fully utilising his team. Whenever, a battle occurs Ash either uses Pikachu or Lucario, the others are kind of pushed to the side and that annoys me so much particularly with Farfetch’d and Gengar. I’ll start with Gengar, Gengar was abandoned by its previous trainer and told to wait in an abandoned building that would later become Cerise Laboratory and in the earlier half of the series (before Riolu) Ash utilised Gengar a lot like in his battle with Visquez and Team Rocket but after Riolu came along Ash used Gengar less and less. In Episode 57, Gengar was taking its anger out on Renji, Chloe and Chrysa and Chloe pointed out that it may have been angry Ash left it behind. This is what I found frustrating; Ash is kind of repeating the behaviour of Gengar’s previous trainer.
Next is Farfetch’d, personality-wise Farfetch’d reminds me of Ash’s Buizel and Hawlucha, with how prideful and aloof it is. I feel like the writers thought they couldn’t flesh out Lucario any further so they decided to focus on Farfetch’d and after two Farfetch’d-focused episodes I can’t help but feel that Farfetch’d is going to evolve in the next episode and that’s what annoys me, that is lazy writing, they haven’t given time to develop Ash and Farfetch’d relationship although it has definitely improved since Episode 56, I feel like it’s too soon. Farfetch’d has so much potential to grow as a character before evolving as I previously mentioned evolution in the Pokémon universe can contribute towards development and I feel like for Farfetch’d they’ll use it in a positive light as Sirfetch’d are noted for their fighting spirit and noble personality. But, as I mentioned before, I would have liked to have seen more development before an evolution.
Then there is Dracovish, this was a completely unexpected capture, however, many fans were surprised by how strong Dracovish was in the games. However, Dracovish was captured in Episode 50 and nearly 10 episodes later, we haven’t seen it… On the other hand, many of Dracovish’s Pokédex entries state that it can’t breathe unless its underwater, therefore, applying that logic to the anime world, may make battling with it difficult...
Team Rocket:
One of the biggest complaints’ viewers have is the series use of Team Rocket. Particularly, using their use of the Gacha machine and using them to create easy conflict. I love Team Rocket; they are basically lovable idiots to me. They’re meant to be “bad guys” but we’ve seen on many occasions they’re kindness and compassion such as rescuing a bunch of wild Ekans and Koffing from a Pokémon hunter and releasing their Arbok and Weezing to protect them whilst they distract the hunter, Meowth sympathising and trying to cheer up Litten following Stoutland’s death are just two examples of their kindness.
Nevertheless, the Journeys series has been utilising them poorly using them as convenient plot device and in my opinion Team Rocket deserve so much better than this. Initially, a lot of viewers may have found the Gacha device interesting but much like Goh throwing a Poké ball at a random Pokémon it got old fast. Similar to one of my issues with Goh, we don’t feel any attachment to the Gacha Pokémon they use unlike other series where they had their own Pokémon which I’ll get on to in a minute.
I feel like the writers missed a huge opportunity, as one of the initial selling points of the series, particularly to the older fans was nostalgia. Team Rocket keep some of their old Pokémon in Team Rocket Headquarters and as the series seems to like staying in Vermillion City, Team Rocket could have collected their old Pokémon and use them similar to when they brought some of their Hoennian Pokémon to Sinnoh. I loved some of Team Rocket’s Pokémon like James’ Mime Jr. and Inkay and Jessie’s Gourgeist and her Yanmega was noted to be strong.
Moreover, in series such as AG, DP and XY they expanded on Team Rocket’s role outside of trying to steal. Jessie showed a promising career in Pokémon Coordinating (particularly in DP) and Pokémon Performing, I loved how she became a rival for Dawn and Serena and particularly in XY, Jessie showed maturity in her loss in the Semi-Finals much to Meowth and Gourgeist’s surprise compared to when she begrudgingly congratulated Dawn on her victory. I just loved the fact in these series they expanded on Team Rocket, showed their friendship and support for one another whether it was cheering each other on from the side-lines or willingly helping Jessie in her pursuits of fame and glory. I realize in Journeys, it’s a bit difficult to expand on Team Rocket’s role in this way but they way they are currently using Team Rocket is to be honest kind of insulting to them as characters who we’ve watched grow over the years.
Chloe, Yamper and Eevee
I’ll get this out the way, I honestly love Chloe, and I’ve loved her development so far, I think they’ve gotten the pacing right for her when they’ve given her focus. I think many people like Chloe because she is similar to Serena, in the sense, she doesn’t have a goal and is discovering what she wants to do in life which is something a lot of people find relatable. I think what would be interesting for Chloe’s character if she does decide to be a Pokémon Professor after initially feeling as though the idea was being forced on her by her peers. Anyways, one of the biggest issues with Journeys is pacing, it takes ages before they actually decide to give a character development and ever since Chloe got Eevee, I feel as though Yamper has been pushed to the side (which is kind of ironic as Chloe calls Ash out on this) and I know Yamper is Professor Cerise’s Pokémon but Yamper acknowledges Chloe more than his own trainer. I feel like a great way to use Yamper was for Professor Cerise to actually give Yamper to Chloe when she was old enough to have a Pokémon, as a lot of Chloe’s earlier development was a result of her bond with Yamper.
Next is Eevee, I love Eevee it is one of my favourite Pokemon, but I also feel similar to Goh, she’s a walking advertisement for the Let’s Go Eevee game as she is unable to evolve. However, the fact that Eevee is unable to evolve makes her a good match for Chloe who is uncertain of her own dreams. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is why they are trying to promote one of their older games in a new generation (especially when Lana’s Eevee (which don’t get me started) should have filled that role). Also, with Chloe catching Eevee, arguably, she should be joining Ash and Goh frequently, this could allow for Chloe and Eevee to develop and find their own path but aside from joining them twice in Galar, they’ve hardly left Kanto. Which is frustrating because I love Chloe and Eevee and I don’t want it to be another 20 episodes before we get any development from either of them.
Structure
I’ve realized that above I’ve kind of been focusing on the characters and some of the issues surrounding them. Arguably, one of Journeys biggest issues is structure or lack of it for that matter and pacing. Everything is all over the place but I’ll cover each section.
Pacing:
One of my biggest gripes with the series is pacing, lately we have been having back-to-back filler episodes and I don’t mind having filler every now and then to give us a break as you don’t want a show to be too content-heavy. And I don’t mind when the filler is at least entertaining but that Gulpin episode from two weeks ago was absolutely pointless, I’m sorry. So much stuff has taken place off-screen and Ash went up by 500 ranks to Rank 415 they could have taken out some of the filler episodes and used it to show Ash training at least or put it towards actual development for characters like Chloe and Eevee or Farfetch’d.
Another issue, I have with the pacing and I think a lot of you will hopefully agree is the pace of Goh catching a legendary Pokemon (which I’m in the middle about). Normally, around the end of the series, all of the respective characters have found or are closer to their goal like Dawn and Serena coming Runner-Up in their respective competitions or having confidence to keep pursuing their goal. This is normally, in the last series of that generation’s anime adaptation but Goh’s already achieved such a huge milestone towards his goal in the second series. I can’t help but feel as though this has been completely rushed.
Continuity:
Continuity in Journeys is strange, I can see it as a strength and a weakness. I’ll start off with the positives, continuity-wise I like the fact that Journeys at least references to past episodes and characters for example episode 57 Chloe’s younger brother says he’s going to a sleepover at his friend, Jinny’s house, the girl with the Feebas from episode 31. Or episode 47, Goh uses his prize from winning the Pokémon Eating Contest to have a dessert tour around Unova’s Castelia City. These small examples of continuity are something I can appreciate. But I can’t help but feel some of the past characters returning are merely fan-service for the older fans, so far, some of the character returns haven’t really contributed to the series’ narrative aside from the Alola episode contributing to Goh’s development.
A good example of utilising a past character is the Wallace Cup arc, with May and Dawn helping each other out of a losing streak and allowing Dawn to renew her confidence. I think no matter the outcome, both Coordinators gained something from the tournament even if Dawn lost to May, I think she would have had a regained her confidence but winning the Aqua Ribbon allowed her to re-affirm her self-belief and skills.
Episodic vs Linear:
Now I’ve watched a few videos on this to have a better understanding, the reason why Journeys feels so unstructured is that for some reason the writers chose to go down an episodic route instead of linear. The best example I know of episodic storytelling is Phineas and Ferb where characters and elements are introduced and can come back. But utilising episodic storytelling in a series like Pokémon feels like an unnatural choice we’re meant to be following these characters and their journeys towards achieving their goals whereas in a linear narrative this would be a lot clearer.
The Setting:
A lot of people have an issue with the fact that a series, that promises travelling the world, it really fell flat. As I have previously mentioned, so far only 2/5 of the episodes have taken place in other regions, most of the time Ash and Goh end up staying in Vermillion City. With the way things are currently being executed, I honestly would have preferred a Sword and Shield anime, with Ash at least travelling around Galar, it would allow for the Galar story to be more fleshed out instead of shoe-horned into a four-episode arc and with the announcement of the Sinnoh re-makes, I feel as though they are going to promote that in some way in the anime later on. (Perhaps with a Dawn cameo).
As I’ve been writing this, I’ve kind of realised one gripe I have with the anime that has become rather blatant as of late. That is the commercialism in the anime, I understand the anime is utilised to promote the game and re-makes of games but with this latest series the commercialism is blatant and honestly annoying. An early example of using the anime to promote a game was the Johto arc in DP to promote HeartGold and SoulSilver. Whereas, currently we have Goh, the human advertisement for Pokémon Go and Chloe’s Eevee promoting Let’s Go Eevee (which I honestly don’t see the need to advertise older games).
The controversary with Grookey…
Needless to say, the latest episode of Pokemon Journeys has sparked a lot of debate and anger particularly from Goh haters who have declared him a thief and are dropping the anime. There are some people who don’t mind Goh catching Grookey, they may have disliked the storyline they used for Goh to catch Grookey. I’ve made my feelings clear, that I would have preferred for Grookey to have been introduced much earlier and for Ash to have caught it.
However, I do have an issue with the way Goh caught Grookey as I can kind of understand why people are calling Goh a thief, I wouldn’t go that far maybe immoral at the most. The initial concept of Grookey belonging to Team Rocket was interesting but the whole story falls flat when they don’t give us any backstory like how did Team Rocket catch Grookey? why was Grookey so desparate to stay with Goh? was Grookey being mistreated by Team Rocket?
Honestly, if Grookey was being mistreated by Team Rocket, I’d understand why it’d want to leave them but this is Jessie, James and Meowth, the trio that released Mimikyu and Mareanie since they didn’t want them to be left in Team Rock Headquarters because they’d thought Mimikyu and Mareanie would be unhappy. So, I honestly can’t see the mistreatment storyline.
Also, the fact that Grookey smashed its own Poké Ball to gain its freedom kind of undermines other storylines that have seen Pokémon being abused by their trainers as they could have arguably smashed their Poké Balls to gain their freedom. Although, you could argue there is an element of fear in these cases.
I feel like if they built up the story more, I may have been more accepting but I kind of find it hypocritical in the sense Goh wants this Pokémon that belongs to someone else and it smashes its own Poké Ball to be with him. Whereas, its bad when Team Rocket try to steal someone else’s Pokémon but its okay for Goh because he’s the protagonist. Considering this is a kids anime that kind of sends the wrong message. I honestly would have found it more interesting if Grookey decided to stay with Team Rocket that would have been an interesting twist with Team Rocket having a starter Pokémon on their side. Plus, we know, James loves his Grass-types.
Conclusion:
Basically, I needed to get this off my chest and honestly, I feel much better for it. No Pokémon anime series is perfect by any means but lately I feel as though the writing has taken a huge dip and it has taken the enjoyment out of the series. I’m still trying to give the series a chance and hopefully I can warm to Grookey under Goh’s ownership, I think if the episodic formula has taken away the storytelling element that I love about the Pokémon series.
I have honestly never seen a Pokémon anime divide the community so much but I’m hoping that things begin to improve particularly if Ash’s Farfetch’d evolves in the next episode.
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mar1garden · 5 years ago
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going batty part 1
masterlist
warning: this will be salty. very salty. if you think it’s ooc let me know and i’ll do the best i can to fix it, but the characterization in this show is so shoddy already that there isn’t much i can do. alya salt, adrien salt, lila salt, bustier salt, class salt. this is also my first posted fic!! if u wanna be on the tag list let me know 💙🌹
The first impression Damien had of his new class was that they were loud. Even as he walked up the stairs, he could hear voices in the classroom. It seemed a debate was occurring, though he couldn’t quite make out the two sides. He reached the top of the stairs, but before he could even make a grab for the door handle, the room fell silent. Damien was about to thank whatever deity was watching out for him and silencing the roomful of screaming children he was about to walk into when he heard another voice from inside the room.
“Of course she’s in love with him,” an effeminate voice said matter-of-factly. “But he barely knows she exists. It’s tragic, really. She tells me about it every time she sleeps over- oops!” the voice continued. Damien didn’t know who was speaking, and he didn’t know who they were speaking about, but he knew from their cadence and their confidence in “accidentally” spilling secrets that he couldn’t trust them as far as he could throw them. Damien sighed deeply to think that he was joining a class of liars and idiots as he reluctantly opened the door to the classroom. Once more the class quieted- chaos had broken out once more after the liar mentioned her little tidbit, which he expected had been the goal.
“Ah! Our new student! M. Damocles told me to keep an eye out for you. Would you like to say a few words to the class?” a woman- presumably the teacher, though she did nothing to show it- asked. She smiled expectantly at him as he moved to stand in front of her desk, facing the class.
“I’m Damien. I’m 15 and I’m an exchange student from America. I do not wish to distract myself from my studies during my time here, so please do not try to make friends with me. I’m not interested,” Damien told the class sharply. He walked briskly to the only open seat in the room- back row, next to some girl who smiled gently at him before returning her gaze to the front of the class. Interesting, he mused. By her bright clothes, he had expected bubbliness. Perhaps a high-pitched greeting. A hug, maybe. This was a pleasant surprise, though it was the only one of its kind he had had all week.
On Monday, they had received video evidence of a super villain in Paris. Tim had suspected it was CGI, especially since Paris was visually completely fine when he hacked some security feeds, even though the video clearly showed the Eiffel Tower falling. Bruce had decided that they really ought to at least check before writing it off, and Damien had drawn the short straw.
On Tuesday, Bruce had told him his cover for being in Paris was that he was an exchange student. He wasn’t allowed to be Robin while he was there, as it may put his identity at risk. He wasn’t allowed to leave until he had confirmation that the thing was either a hoax or genuine, unless he was in actual danger.
On Wednesday he packed. He couldn’t take weapons with him, obviously, because airport security may be a joke but he was pretty sure they would catch an actual sword stuffed in his bag. That afternoon he had flown to Paris and gotten settled in.
And now it was Thursday. Damien had learned much about the class very quickly, mainly that it was composed of a liar and some idiots. He had learned his deskmate was quiet. He had learned that he was far enough ahead in the syllabus that he could afford to study people in class.
He hoped the rest of the week was calm. Even if it meant he had to stay longer, he would rather have time to get settled before suffering a villain attack- if the whole thing was real, anyways. He pulled his focus back to the task at hand- assessing the class and finding any useful allies or sources of information. He recognized the girl next to the liar as the Ladyblogger. This meant the Ladyblog was likely an unreliable resource, which he mentally jotted down. That was good to know.
Damien cast a sideways glance at the girl next to him. She was patiently listening to the teacher and obviously tuning out the other students. When Damien bothered to listen, he noticed them gossiping about her. So Marinette was her name, huh?
Every rumor he heard was traced instantly back to the liar, and with each word he noticed the girl next to him tense imperceptibly more. He mentally scoffed. It was clear that she wasn’t going to stand up for herself. How pathetic. She was preferable to the liar or any of the blind idiots, but certainly not by much. So lost in thought was he that he flinched when the bell rang. Where had his restraint gone?
Marinette turned to him once the bell had rung. In a voice clearly pitched down so others wouldn’t hear, she spoke for the first time that day: “You’re Damien, right? I’m Marinette, the class president.” He scoffed slightly. The whole class clearly hated her, and she refused to stand up for herself. How had this mess become class president? As if she hadn’t heard him, she continued: “If you need anything, let me know. Here’s your class schedule and syllabi, and here’s a map of school. If you’d like, I can give you a tour later and explain the multiple purposes of some of the classrooms.” She handed him a short pile of papers and waited, as if she expected a response. When she got none, she nodded and left, and somehow, that made Damien feel worse than he would have if she had scolded him on his lack of a ‘thank you.’
The rest of the day, he remained in the same classes as her. He sat next to her in a majority of them, as she was often the only person with no seat partner. She remained quiet and focused, and she continued to pointedly ignore the other students, though it seemed he was not among their ranks. When he asked any questions, she answered quickly, quietly, and to the best of her ability, which he appreciated. She may be useful yet, if her succinct answers to non-hero questions were any indication of her general temperament. As he thought this, the bell rang for lunch and the class began to pack up. Damien wasn’t sure if he should risk the caf or head off campus, but as he turned to ask Marinette, he noticed that she had frozen in place. Her bag was half packed and resting on the table as she looked in surprise at someone standing at the table.
The boy was blonde and green eyed. He had had the liar hanging off of him, which either meant they were working together or he was a bigger idiot than them all. He smiled condescendingly at Marinette and Damien, then he turned solely to Marinette. “Marinette, may I speak with you real quick? It’ll only take a minute,” the boy asked, though it was clear ‘no’ was not an option. At the girl’s small nod, he turned to Damien. “Do you mind if I steal her for a sec?” he asked. Damien raised an eyebrow.
“Seeing as she’s a human being and therefore not property, I don’t see how you could steal her, but be my guest.” The boy smiled that same smarmy smile at him, and Damien decided that too many unlikeable people disliked the sweet girl next to him. He didn’t want to be among their ranks, and while the girl could do with a bit more spine, she had been nothing but pleasant to him. As the boy maneuvered her away to speak, Damien moved a bit more quietly. It would be easy for his trained ears to overhear, and they should both underestimate him, so it would be simple to eavesdrop.
“Mari, you didn’t say anything to him, did you?” the blond asked, looking searchingly at the girl in question. She sighed in response.
“Is that what this is about? I promise, I didn’t tell him anything. I think he knows she’s lying, and if he asks, I won’t lie to him to protect her, but I haven’t told him anything and he hasn’t asked.” Marinette rolled her eyes at the boy. Damien couldn’t help but notice that her posture, while visibly scared when other students were around, was simply bored when only Blondie was there. The boy had sighed in relief at Marinette’s words, but had quickly tensed back up.
“Wait, if he asks if she’s lying, you’ll just... tell him? Just like that? Mari, you can’t do that! He doesn’t know us, he doesn’t need to know our secrets!” the blond protested. He assumed a superior expression and quickly looked at Marinette in as disappointed a way as he could manage. The aforementioned girl glared at him.
“Agreste, I’m not going to lie. I refuse to do so, especially to try and protect a girl who hates me. Damien is perfectly kind and has been nothing but cordial, I have no reason to deny him information that may affect his time here. I won’t make him listen to some liar thinking it’s the truth.” Marinette ended the conversation there, walking back to the desk quickly and packing her bag before leaving class. Damien took this in with an air of quiet amusedness, though he was touched that she defended him.
Maybe his time here wouldn’t be so impossible after all.
that’s where i’m ending the first part! if you’d like to be tagged in the next part let me know! have a wonderful weekend folks! ~💙🌹
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queeranesearch · 4 years ago
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 @harutheestallion Thank you so much for the tag, Arthur!! I kith you, mwah!
(This ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be bc I got so caught up in talking about OTHER people’s writing lmfao, so I’m putting a ‘keep reading’)
Prompt - share your:
First fic: Uuugh god..When I was 11/12 I was really into Attack on Titan, and in my Year 8 English Lit class we had lessons where we did creative writing so of course I wrote an Armin-centric high-school AU. It haunts me to this day but it was so funny to read again later on. But the first fic I actually posted online was a Moomin one, back in 2019. Moomins was (and still is thb) a big comfort media for me, and it always helped me feel better when I was going through some really bad anxiety. I was also very insecure about my writing and hadn’t written anything in years, but I was very attached to the characters and there wasn’t that much content of them so I thought “Fuck it. This is gonna be very self-indulgent. If other people like it then great, but really this is for me.” I did end up getting way more kudos and comments than I thought I would and loads of lovely comments. I read it again a little while ago and the writing is a but rusty, and my paragraphing isn’t great, but it’s really sweet and I had a lot of fun writing it and I think that shines through.
Favourite fic: Dude, I cannot pick one favourite fic, so I’m gonna list a few that came to mind: Hooked by @listless-brainrot - aka THE jetru fic. I will forever scream about List’s writing. The way he’s able to take such a character with one episode, and see the potential pour so much life into him is amazing. He writes Haru with so much nuanced realness, and seeing things though his perspective makes for such an immersive read and gives beautiful insight into his thoughts and wants. I cannot recommend it enough.
Sing a little louder, laugh a little softer by @chief-yue - Such lovely fic exploring the music of cultures ATLA was inspired by. I had the biggest smile on my face reading this; Katrina really captures the dynamic of the Gaang wonderfully, and her descriptions are vivid and heartwarming. 
Two Sturdy Oaks by @rileyblxu - A Dead Poets Society fic and one of my comfort fics ajklasd. The author writes Neil and Todd perfectly; Like if you told me this fic was actually deleted scenes from the movie I would believe you 100%. The dialogue between all the characters is spot on, and the trusting relationship both Neil and Todd have with Mr Keating is so heart-warming to read, and the descriptions were so tender and full of so much love and pining,,dude I actually cried a little. PLUS the use of poems at the beginning of the chapters?? Absolutely iconic for setting the tone. Love it.
Not Ready To Make Nice by @harutheestallion - Tagging you twice hehe. Arthur’s characterization of Jet kills me DEAD. They have so many little nuanced details about Jet, but also how he sees other people and the world around him. They have such a strong grasp on his character; every action he makes in this fic is written cleverly wand with such clear thought put behind it, and Jet’s perseverance and bitterness but also his kindness and desire to protect others really shines through. And HAMA. She’s written perfectly too; so similar to Jet in many ways but also more ��jaded’ and less hopeful. Their dynamic is so interesting to read and watching them become gradually closer is so lovely.
Henna by @miannmian - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Simran is the QUEEN of fluff. This is one of their shorter works, but it’s packed of such tender characterization. The descriptions are written with so much care and warmth, you can practically feel the love these Jet and Haru have for each other. It’s sweet, it’s domestic, and it makes my heart swell each time I read it.
Can’t Make An Omelette by @citron-ella - A Good Omens fic, but focused on The Them! GO fics that aren’t primarily about Aziraphale and Crowley are hard to come by, so I was delighted when I came across this one, particularly as The Them are my personal faves from the book/show. This fic is so sweet and funny in little nuanced ways. Children are hard to write, especially slightly older ones, but this author wrote them wonderfully; they really captured the lovely curious and mischievous nature of The Them, and each one of the kids was written perfectly in character. The descriptions set the scenes well, and they have a sweet, nostalgic sort of tone to them; it reminds me of what kid’s books used to be like years ago, there’s an Enid Blyton(and I’d even say a Terry Pratchet) like charm to it. And I adore the little detail of Brian being curious about Pollution being non-binary, and recognizing something similar in himself; it was so heart-warming. I also loved the bit at the end where Pepper knowingly acknowledges Brian’s interest in being non-binary; it’s a nice subtle way of showing their friendship and how they pay attention to each other.
Most Recent fic: A jetru oneshot, “Kiss Me?”. It’s pretty simple and fluffy; the lads having their first kiss. To be honest, it’s one of those fics I have a love-hate relationship with; looking back at it there are so many ways I’d rewrite it and make it better, but there are some nice bits there too. 
Fic with most notes: My moomin one I mentioned earlier. It’s called “To Have a Family is an Awfully Complicated Thing”. A VERY wordy title, and again, there a loads of things I wish I could change and do better( I have actually been contemplating rewriting it) but it’s very close to my heart, and I’m glad other people liked it too.
A line or two from a wip: Man, I have SO many wips it’s embarrassing. Here’s a modern Yueki thing I was doing: They didn't know how Yue spent lunchtimes at school in the library, hidden behind the back shelves, reading poetry books held together with thick brown tape; Shakespeare, Dickinson, Keats, Wordsworth, their words lovely yet so disconnected from her; how within the whole breadth of the romantics she could not find one to attach to; how with no great authors to turn to, she put her own pen to paper, spilling thoughts of brown hair and dark eyes, of a face that freckled in the sun, of a laugh that filled her stomach flip with a delightful queasiness, of how her heart ached for the girl that cleaned her grazed knee for her when she was six. ‘Oh dear.’ Yue fiddled with the bag in her lap, zipping it up, zipping it down. ‘There’s no going back now, is there?’
Favourite character to write for (and why): Hmm, I think Yue and Jet, both from ATLA. Something about them just clicks with me; I love Yue to bits and wish we could’ve had more of her in the show, so I love exploring her character beyond being the Moon Princess. I also adore Jet and will forever be angry about how he dirty they did him in the show. Writing him is actually quite challenging, but in a way I enjoy, and I enjoying pushing myself to explore the nuance and depth he had in the show. 
Character(s) you find hard to write: Hm.. I’d say Toph. I love Toph so much but I find it difficult to really capture her strength and rowdiness, but also her compassion and her softer side. 
I’ve tagged a few people in this already, so if they wanna do this feel free to! Also you. Reading this. Consider yourself tagged; I wanna hear about your writing. 
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fictionalrambles · 5 years ago
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Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Seven
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Submitted by @lecrit​
Five Favourite Stories 
The Haunting of Lightwood Hall by @bonibaru​
Why I love this fic:
The plot is simply spectacular and the writing beautiful. I love murder mysteries and this one had me on the edge of my seat. I read it on the plane and didn’t see the trip go because of how engrossed I was in this story. Jace was a great side character and his relationship with Aline (plus their moment of closure) was one of the gems of this fic. Then of course, Magnus and Alec were amazing (their characterization is on point) and their relationship evolved beautifully. All in all, it instantly became one of my favorite malec fics ever the moment I finished it.
Favorite scene:
I could pick many more because of how I adore this fic, but the first scene of the first chapter is probably my favorite. I was hooked from the get-go, intrigued by Magnus’ late night wandering as much as Alec was and I felt curious alongside Magnus about Alec’s stiff yet oddly amiable demeanor. I just loved that scene, and I immediately knew I was in for a treat.
Favorite quote(s):
But Magnus found himself seriously considering an attempt to court the handsome – and hopefully not murderous - Lord Lightwood.
It was strange that such a small point of contact could carry with it such keen awareness of another person.
“Men and women love to tell themselves elaborate stories about why they can’t take on love. They will go on for hours and hours bemoaning their circumstances, their fate, even chalking it up to phases of the moon. But the truth is very simple. Either you are willing to hurl yourself, body and soul, into love - or you aren’t. If you don’t take this chance with Lord Alexander, you will be throwing away what could have been the greatest love of your life.”
*
The Way It Should Be by j__writes
Why I love this fic:
It’s so genuine and heart-wrenching and utterly beautiful I’d fail to fully put in words who deeply I love it. The depth with which the emotions are portrayed, Alec’s struggle to come to term with his true feelings, Magnus’ heartbreaking denial over his own situation. It’s raw and visceral, but so beautiful and deeply human. Overall, it’s just realistic and relatable, and that’s the kind of thrilling experience I love to have as a reader. This fic is a gift to all of us, as is its author.
Favorite scene:
In chapter 4, the scene where Alec takes care of Magnus when he arrives with a swollen lip and Magnus opens up about Camille’s abuse. It destroyed my heart in the best possible way.
Favorite quote(s):
A shuffle of paper, the creaking sound of aged leather, the click of Magnus’ heeled boots, the hammering of his heart against his ribs, the gentle turn of the golden knob, the air rushing out of his lungs, the sound of rusting hinges squeaking, and then…Magnus.
“Magnus looks at you the same way.”
He hated himself enough for allowing his feelings to get this far. He never wanted this. If it had been up to him, he would have made his heart stay in love with Raj. Raj had been good to him and they’d built a good life together. It made no sense for his heart to betray him like this. To fall out of love with a perfectly good man and fall in love with someone else who was wholly unavailable to him.
*
Salem by @la-muerta​
Why I love this fic:
It’s safe to say at this point that la_muerta is one of my favorite writers in the fandom. I had a hard time picking one fic, but Salem just holds a special place in my heart. I am deeply admirative of writers who manage to make world-building so effortless and this one just hit the spot for me. This is a thrilling read from start to finish and the combo of fantasy, horror and romance was so perfect I couldn’t put it down until I was done reading. Also one of the best dramatic climax I’ve ever read, fanfic or otherwise.
Favorite scene:
The scene in the tunnels where Magnus chases the spirits away and helps them find peace. I love that it’s from Alec’s POV, because we can feel his shock and awe at the display of Magnus’ power, especially because it seems so effortless for Magnus. I don’t know why it’s this one in particular, but I just deeply love this scene.
Favorite quote(s):
"So this is all we can do? Babysit the Mayor's son?" Ragnor asked Magnus in an undertone.
"I don't think we're babysitting him, Ragnor. I think he's babysitting us," Magnus said wryly.
Alec came downstairs to find his family ready for war.
And the Book fed on the love and the memories, and bided its time.
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Three to make a pair by @like-a-bucky​
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360721/
Why I love this fic:
I love classic fanfiction tropes as much as the next person, but I love them even more with a twist, and this is one of the best Fake Dating AUs with a twist fics I’ve ever read. I love strong friendship dynamics and the one between Magnus and Jace was as unexpected as it was delightful. I also love that Alec being a soldier isn’t idealized (which is a problem I often have with works of fiction where a character is in the military in some way); his torments and trauma are raw and realistic and it adds infinite depth to the kindness of his character. Magnus is just as greatly written, and he broke and healed my heart several times throughout the fic.
Favorite scene:
It has to be the scene where Jace and Magnus tell Alec they’re not actually dating.
Favorite quote(s):
"But I... I don't share, Magnus."
"Jace," Alec cut him off, a bit more gently this time, "Please, get out. We'll talk about this later. You made your point, you're not dating and right now, that's all that matters. Because if he allows me to, I'm going to kiss Magnus senseless and I'd prefer that you weren't here to see it."
Thinking of you, on the bottle of milk. I love you, creased and hidden inside a random pair of socks. Don't eat all the ice-cream, inside the freezer, and Magnus had chuckled while reading it - he'd almost choked on his laughter the following month though, when he'd found out the I told you not to stuck to the last tub of ice-cream.
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Blankets, jam & other metaphors for love by Oumy
Why I love this fic:
I never left my home and yet I was right there in Tuscany the whole time. That’s an amazing thing to achieve through writing. This fic is just a slightly angsty but exquisitely warm blanket wrapping around your shoulders and guiding you to a journey of slow build, character growth and one of my personal weaknesses, found family. Magnus’ struggle and grief are just beautifully portrayed, and I don’t have enough words to praise how much I adored the Lightwood-Garroway family in this. They have my heart and I don’t want it back.
Favorite scene:
It is hands down the stargazing scene in chapter 4.  The tension woven through something as simple as holding hands was breathtaking. It was just… chills. Literal chills.
Favorite quote(s):
For the first time, he didn’t feel like part of the chaos of it, but rather a spectator on the outside looking in, drifting on the edges as his feelings churned, ebbed and flowed and hit him again and again with the certainty that he’d been wrong. It wasn’t that Alec didn’t have anything inside; it was that he had too much.
He listened to the sounds of the bustling morning, the world moving forward, unbothered by the crippling sadness he felt, and he braced himself and counted to ten.
All he knew is that there were words to be said, and that Alec was wholly unequipped to say them.
99 notes · View notes
agirlunderarock · 5 years ago
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How I accidentally wrote 20 page paper on Boromir for one of my Final Ever University Papers PART 3
 Okay folks so I think we’re a little more than halfway through? I think??? I don’t freaking know this is the exact same feeling I had while writing the paper-
Will I ever come to an end? 
We just don’t know
If you missed Part 1 and Part 2  just click the text and it’ll take you to the link
So where did we leave off last time?
I told you exactly how academics where taking a crap on the goodest boi and so this time I’m going to explain why Faramir is the better character foil. Because instead of using Boromir as foil for say Aragorn or Sam, I say they should be using Faramir. I think specifically I left you guys with this lovely little picture I made myself of their character arcs:
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If you can’t read it, I’m sorry its pixilated, thats just how the program gets when you try to make an image that compact to fit on a large presentation poster with an already large image. But anyway the important thing in this image isn’t whether or not you can read the damn thing, no, its that Boromir and Faramir’s character arcs are nearly exactly the same.Boromir and Faramir face political, and familial pressures, and faced with the question of what to do about Frodo and the ring. Both brothers are introduced in places that are supposedly out of their element. Boromir is seemingly described as more prepared for battle and fighting, yet we meet him in a council meeting of all things, and Faramir who is supposed to be #intellectual we meet after he and his men have just conducted a raid on an enemy patrol. They’re later both faced with questions of doubt and what they feel they need to do to protect their people. Denethor asks a lot of them and it takes a toll in some way shape and form. but the main points of their character arc ultimately come down to the conflict of family, country, and the fellowship.
like okay I’m not gonna lie, I really just want to put this picture in here and I have a funny story about how this picture made it in the research project but basically even the movie backs up that Boromir’s real foil is Faramir.
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shit what was I saying?
Oh yeah
so basically in this flashback from the two towers we get a good side by side comparison between the brothers. Clearly they look alike, but look at how they’re dressed. Boromir’s in full armor my dudes, sword looks like its partially out of the scabbard- but really the main thing you need to focus on is the costuming in this shot, because the costuming here is, of course a reflection of their roles as military leaders, but also a major reflection of their personalities and really how their character arcs play out as a whole. Boromir is usually on the defensive (note I say defensive not ready to throw down) not just in battle because Mordor is like constantly like “Knock Knock can we come in?” but when he gets the Rivendell too, he’s being defensive because it almost sounds like these people half way across the world are going to forsake his home and the people he loves. So yes, I’d say my boi gets to be a little abrasive and wear emotional armor. He’s got a lot of feelings and he doesn’t get to talk about them because either 1. he’s with his troops or 2 he’s surrounded by people he doesn’t know that well i.e. the fellowship early in the story.
Faramir on the other hand is wearing some pretty light armor. He’s more open than Boromir, and if I remember correctly its said in the book that Faramir had taken to talking with Gandalf often when he was young and stuff- I don’t remember tbh I’m at that point where I haven’t read a book in a year cause I’m so damn tired, and I get canon and fanon mashed up sometimes. But what I’m trying to get at is, Faramir lets himself be open to more ideas, to more people, he’s more trusting of people’s intentions probably that numorian thing that he and Denethor have tbh. So basically what I’m trying to say is the main difference between the two brothers is how they deal with fear and anxiety.
Again Boromir tries to hide and swallow his fear and anxiety- he has to as a military leader shit happens. Faramir, looks for as many plans as he can to relieve some of his fear and anxiety- he’s also a leader shit happens.
So remember back when I said that Aristotle said some bullshit about how betraying your father is like the shittiest thing a person could ever do ever? Or when I said the heroism through obedience is absolute bullshit? If not too bad that was your reminder, though I genuinely don’t remember if I talked about the latter.
Denethor becomes the focal point of how these characters are compared. I say this because there is never a moment in the books were we actually have a conversation with all three of them present, but we know that he makes the same demand of both of his sons, that being find out what Isildure’s Bane is and then find a way to protect Gondor by any means. Not necessarily a bad request, its just HEAVY and the way its delivered in Return of the King is heavy and hurtful. I sir I know your mad stressed but also
YOUR SONS ARE MAD STRESSED SO CAN YOU PLEASE NOT HAVE CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS:
“‘Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is too long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skillfully, as ever; but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir seeking whether you said well or too much? He has long had your heart in his keeping.
‘My son, your father is old but not yet dotard […]
‘If what I have done displease you, my father,’ said Faramir quietly, ‘I wish I had known your counsel before the burden of so weight a judgement was thrust on me.’
‘Would that have availed to change your judgement?’ said Denethor. ‘You would still have done just so, I deem. I know you well. […]But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death.’
‘So be it,’ said Faramir.
‘So be it!’ cried Denethor. ‘But not with your death only, Lord Faramir: with the death also of your father, and all your people, whom it is your part to protect now that Boromir is gone.’
‘Do you with then,’ said Faramir, ‘that our places had been exchanged?’
‘Yes, I wish that indeed,’ said Denethor. “For Boromir was loyal to me and no wizard’s pupil.” (Return of the King 794-795).
Like thats a big load for two dudes to carry man
Like I get it but thats heavy and I cri for both my bois having to deal with this war their whole life
 But you see what I’m getting at here. Theres a lot of expectations for these boys, and really they just need hugs, and I need a hug rewriting this part into non academic language because it makes me BIG SAD
But whats interesting about the expectation that his sons only be loyal to him, is that in attempting to obey their father, THEY GET FUCKING WRECKED. Boromir ends up scaring Frodo to the point the Fellowship breaks up, and Faramir ends up like almost dying and gets his men wrecked. Now I’m not saying Aristotle is full of bullshit, but he’s full of shit, and I’m gonna learn you why.
So before I say which critic actually puts everyone else to shame by praising two hobbit bois, let me make this clear: Boromir does not die trying to obey his father, he dies actively disobeying him. Instead of trying to find Frodo and still get the ring like Denethor would have wanted, Boromir goes dies defending Merry and Pippin. HE COULD HAVE LEFT THEM IN FAVOR OF GOING AFTER THE RING BUT HE’S A GOOD MAN WHO WANTED HIS HOBBIT CHILDREN WHO ARE TECHNICALLY JUST AS OLD AS HIM TO GET AWAY AND BE SAFE AND HE DIED. Faramir on the other hand nearly dies while trying to carry out his father’s orders and thats tragic but again- shit happens.
According to no braincells Aristotle, one of these is right, even with the tragic outcome and one is wrong and deserved to die.
WRONG
In Ian Romuald Lakowski’s, "Types of Heroism in The Lord of the Rings," he acknowledges that through Merry and Pippin there is heroism in DISOBEDIENCE. For Boromir and Faramir this means obedience or disobedience is not a simple right or wrong choice, and in both of them being disobedient to their father is a more sure sign of their heroism.
I mean think about it, the very action every critic characterizes Boromir for is based off of his obedience to his father. He’s villainized for trying to take the ring from Frodo, when the reality is, the man was struggling with trying to figure out what the right course of action was. ITS THE SAME REASON FARAMIR TAKES SO DAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH FRODO AND SAM. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
So what ends up happening? Faramir is praised a good guy for disobeying, and really in the end the real Boromir comes back when he disobeys Denethor too.
But we’ll come back to some of that in a bit,
Because STRESS is not enough to bind these two as better foils than other comparison that can be made. Because again, critics like to praise Faramir and elevate him and I’m not about to put them against each other.
Like despite their differences Boromir and Faramir’s relationship with one another isn’t characterized by fear or power or even that #stress but genuine love for one another. And this is important, because though no critics ever sighted a page for their reading of Boromir as a greedy little shit, I believe their interpretation comes from second hand accounts of his character. Instead of actually looking at what he says and does to be his true self.  They characterize Boromir by his single action of trying to take the ring from Frodo instead of looking at him as a whole.
Boromir’s relationship with his brother is incredibly important because given the circumstances and everything that they’ve been through and even though they have very different thought processes, they should have a rocky relationship, but  they don’t. They have a very good relationship.The appendices give a nice description of the things we never got to see happen in the book
“…there was great love, and had been since childhood, when Boromir was the helper and protector of Faramir. No jealousy or rivalry had arisen between them since, for their father’s favour or for the praise of men. It did not seem possible to Faramir that any one in Gondor could rival Boromir, her of Denethor, Captain of the White Tower; and of like mind was Boromir” (1032).
Actually
I take it back
Never say never get to see because in the council of Elrond, Boromir literally shows us his relationship with his brother and what kind of person he is. 
“ Therefore my brother, seeing how desperate was our need, was eager to heed the dream and seek for Imadris; but since the way was fully of doubts and danger, I took the journey upon myself,” showing that he willingly put himself in danger to protect his little brother (The Fellowship of the Ring 239).
The reason I bring this up is because I don’t think critics look at what Boromir actually says and does through out the book. I literally don’t understand where or how they would even perceive this as an ulterior motive or that he does anything with ill intent. AT THIS POINT THERE IS NOTHING THAT SUGGEST HE MIGHT BE. BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERY ACTION BOROMIR TAKES IS TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE
 Like maybe they take the first description of Boromir to be negative:
“a tall man fair and noble face, dark-haired and grey-eyed, proud and stern of glance,”
But none of these are inherently negative. Proud and stern aren’t negative words. Proud doesn’t become negative until you pair it with the action of taking the ring from Frodo and THATS ASSUMING that he’s taking it for himself to use and that he himself wants power.
BUT HE DOESN’T- and we’ll get to why later
OR maybe they’re trying to take what Faramir has to say about his brother to the extreme end: 
“‘And this I remember of Boromir as a boy, when we together learned the tale of our sires and the history of our city, that always it displeased him that his father was not king. “How many hundreds of years needs it to make a steward a king, if the king returns not?” he asked. […] Alas poor Boromir. Does that tell you something of him?’
‘It does,’ said Frodo. ‘Yet always he treated Aragorn with honour.’
‘I doubt it not,’ said Faramir. ‘If he were satisfied of Aragron’s claim, as you say, he would greatly reverence him. But the pinch had not yet come. They had not yet reached Minas Tirith or become rivals in her wars” (The Two Towers 655 ).
Which I’m gonna be honest is fair assessment.  But like Boromir’s asking these questions 1. as a kid, and as I myself was a child who hated incompetency, ITS CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING TO BE DOING ALL THE WORK AND NOT GET THE CREDIT? (RIGHT NOW I’M LOOKING AT PEOPLE WHO REPOST FAN ART WITHOUT THE CREDIT- I WILL FIND YOU AND SMITE YOU)
but anyway, yeah you know what that question about kingship tells me- HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING KING IS???? Like thats not inherently a greed thing- Only if you’re looking at it from like a religious standpoint and blah blah blah Catholic teachings about- but again
Then good boy Frodo looking out for him, I’m gonna cry, points out the obvious- that Boromir respected Aragorn, and Faramir has the nerve to say- yeah but wait until the group project falls apart- then see what happens
and let me just say
Faramir
sir
my boi
YOU CLEARLY HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A GOOD TEAM FOR YOUR GROUP PROJECT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU. IF ARAGORN WENT IN THERE AND THINGS STARTED GOING WRONG AND PEOPLE STARTED DYING OF COURSE BOROMIR WAS GOING TO BE PISSED- LIKE THEY WAITED HOW LONG FOR WHAT????
It’d be like if someone you didin’t know came over to your house told you not to make dinner in your own house, that they knew their way around the kitchen- WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW YOUR’RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, proceed to start a fire while trying to fry up some chicken, and then saying they’ve got it under control, but the fire dept can’t put out your oven. I mean thats worst case scenario.
I’m sorry but just the thought of someone I know/am related to coming into my room and touches my goddamn light switch gives me anxiety- BOROMIR HAD TO TRUST THIS STRANGER WITH HIS COUNTRY 
But like the movie tries to get you to agree with the line of thinking, that Boromir is about himself and doing it to glorify himself. take THIS SCENE
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You know the one, that shot in Rivendell and Boromir is exploring on his own and casually picks up the sword, you know THE SWORD and kinda low key plays with it for a hot minute- you know, the way you walk by the nerf swords at a walmart and you pick one up to wack your bro with it, but then you remember you’re 23 and he’s 18 and taller than you now so he’ll beat the shit out of you if you start shit. But anyways, Boromir picks up the sword and cuts his finger, is amazed that its still sharp, and then puts it back only to have it teeter off and he walks away quickly like nothing happened. If you’re a small brain critic you’ll see this scene and say “Ah yes, in picking up Narsil Boromir displays a desire for power for himself, and in cutting his finger it shows that this desire is his ultimate demise. He might think he’s ready for power and deserves more, but by walking away he shows that he’s actually irresponsible guffaw” I demand you go back and read that in your guadiest accent. But hear me out. Remember that nerf sword you picked up in the toy aisle, instead of being the grimlin you know you are deep in your soul, you take a few practice swings for your audition fantasy and put it back and start walking away just to realize that the walmart employee had been watching you the whole time and the whole bin of plastic and foam swords comes tumbling down bring with it a Hot Wheels track and collectible cars, and you just look at the employee, and they just look at you, and then you brain just short circuits  and so you keep walking down the aisle away and laugh cry across the store because you don’t know what the fuck just happened. And thtas the energy that scene gives to me.
But I’m getting away from it all because the real arguement against the way this scene is framed is one question he poses right before he attacks Frodo:
“What could not Aragorn do?”  ( The Fellowship of the Ring 389). 
He makes a big speech here about Frodo giving up the ring, but he doesn’t talk about him using it himself, instead he wonders, What would Aragorn be capable of?
Does that sound like a question someone crazed with a drive for power would ask?
I don’t think so
Why even mention Aragorn if he wanted it for himself right?
We’re dissect the fuck out it in the next part don’t you worry.
I think I’m almost done
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kxhlzn · 5 years ago
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[i.] the birdwatcher & his lover.
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➳ synopsis: it's the summer of '89, and you discover new things about yourself— some good, and some you wish you could swallow and never see again. dealing with the newfound confusion of sexuality, you must learn the ins and outs of friendship and what it means to grow up.
➳ genre: coming-of-age drama, fluff, crack, angst, slow burn romance, lgbtq+ themes.
➳ characters/pairing(s): eventual stanley uris/reader (main couple), unrequited!beverly marsh/reader, eventual richie/eddie (possibly unrequited), eventual bev/ben.
➳ wordcount: 3.2k
➳ warnings: profanity, partial nudity (the lake), slight angst.
➳ song recs: "beverly" from the it soundtrack & "she" by dodie.
➳ author's notes: hi hi hi! this is my first fic on tumblr and honestly i'm a bit anxious about this bc i haven't written in ages lmfao. this is a series, so pls don't hesitate to send in asks and the like! nothing is set entirely into stone yet. please note! the characters are fifteen in this, and pennywise doesn't attack derry at all; so georgie is alive and well and chasing paper boats in the rain. richie & reader are both bisexual, ben & bev fall in love as kids. reader and bill are vv close but platonically.
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June, 1989.
the first time you meet stanley uris, he is perched on a oak bench planted in the middle of derry park, his bruised knees pressed together in order to keep his journal steady. his chin is pointed to the heavens, eyes searching the clouds, a curious glow in them; cheeks dusted a light pink, he was angelic, the sun's rays a dull comparison to the golden glow of his messy curls. the boy had a nervous tick of tapping his pencil against the yellowed paper in his lap, followed by the curve of his brow when he noticed a bird flutter overheard.
you, at age eleven, were fascinated by him, and lacked a filter to save you from your mouth. it's almost as if the hinge of your jaw had lost a screw, and you feared if it hung open too long a fly might seek entrance there. of course, it would have been entirely avoidable if you hadn't sat your butt right next to him, and stuck your nose right where it didn't belong: in his journal.
"your handwriting is pretty, but your drawings can use some serious work. is that supposed to be a bird? it looks like it's having a heart attack," you had said, tilting your head, "the wings are too jagged and the legs too... sticky, you know? not like sticky like honey, but sticky like... you know, sticks? are you mute or something?"
your blank stare forces stanley's hand to shoot to the back of his neck as he tries to find the words to attend to all of your commentary. his mouth opens and closes a few times before you roll your eyes dramatically, slumping into the back of the bench. stanley clears his throat, eyes falling to the ground.
a silence ensues, and you glance from his crestfallen expression to the drawings. "and, uh, his eyes are buggy; they look like fat marbles. they're taking up his whole face."
stan releases a breathy laugh, and he raises an eyebrow at the graphite drawing in front of him. "they do, don't they?"
you mirror his laugh, and nod solemnly. "there's no saving them," you say, and decide to tell him your name, outstretching your hand proudly.
"stanley," the boy replies, meeting your grip and giving it a good shake. "uh, you know a lot about drawing. could you fix him?"
you hum, taking the journal from his lap and dropping it in your own. you tilt your head at the sketch, putting your chin in your hand. "it's going to be a tough job, but i think he'll survive. scalpel, sir?"
he hands you the yellow pencil, sharpened down half its original length. "anastesia? or uh," you inquire, not aware of how to spell or pronounce the word, "the stuff that doctors give people during surgery."
"anesthesia," stanley corrects, pulling a pink eraser from his pocket and giving it away.
"yeah, that," you bring the eraser down and the bird lines are soon gone, but the remnants of what was stays behind on the paper. "your lines are really hard. you've prolly got heavy hand, you know. but don't worry, i do too."
the next few minutes are in comfortable silence, save for your absent-minded humming. stanley leans over your shoulder, but not to the point of invading personal space, studying each pencil stroke gracing the journal. he makes a comment about the structure of the real-life bird, and you nod your head in agreement. the two of you synchronize nearly perfectly — you sketch what he tells you to. you aren't very observant to the outside world, but you focus on details in your drawings. stanley will mention that the creature has a stray mark on its beak, and you pencil it in without the graphite being too dramatic, which stanley is quick to do in his work.
after an hour of chatting and working, you are sitting on the back of the bench, feet placed comfortably on the seat. you are talking on and on about a story that happened during your english class, and you don't refrain a single detail. stanley listens intently, body slouched forward over his journal as he writes physical descriptions of the bird next to the drawing. he checks the time on his watch, and nearly jumps out of his seat. he swivels around, eyes blown wide, but you don't seem to notice as your arms wave about, mimicking a girl in your class.
stanley barks your name, which sounds sweet on his tongue, he realizes. when you focus on him curiously, he looks guilty. "i have to go. i was supposed to go to my friend's house so we could go to the quarry together. uh, unless you want to.. go?"
you grin, hopping onto the soil beside him. "for sure!" you hook your arm in his, and skip forward a few steps.
"wrong way," he says sheepishly.
you turn around, now exceedingly confident. "onward, steed!"
the next few years, up until freshman year, you are best friends with stanley uris and his gang of friends; bill denbrough, richie tozier, and eddie kaspbrak. bill was the kindest of all of them, a sensitive boy with a heart of gold. his love for art made him an easy companion, and you grew very close the summer of 7th grade, spending many hours a week at his house simply talking and making art. his little brother is like your favorite person, the little squirt constantly bugging bill about when he'll see you again, and telling bill he likes you better because you'll play with him.
eddie is a mother hen to you, warning you about the dangers you put yourself in on a daily basis. you are more reckless than the other boys, so it's common to see eddie turn an ugly shade of purple when he witnesses you do something exceedingly ignorant. with your asthma, he can relate to you, but you personally believe the inhalers you have are pointless and there's no need to rely on them, but eddie disagrees. when he takes a puff from his emergency inhaler, which is more of a daily one, he tends to shove one in your mouth too for simple sake of anxiety. you've found that he calms down when you play with his hair or give his scalp a light scratch, his voice lost in the serenity of it all.
ah, richie tozier; you two are scarily similar, and everyone is aware of it. he's of course referred to as "trashmouth", and you're known as "loudmouth", as richie has a tendency to speak inappropriate things, and you just keep speaking and can't properly whisper to save your life. a major difference between the two of you is your vulnerability, naiveness, and positive charisma. his talkativeness is characterized by sarcasm and the "class clown" stereotype, while yours relies more on really just being a chatterbox, whose thoughts spill out at rapid speeds without being filtered by your brain. fortunately, it's easier to make friends this way, and you tend to be the ice-breaker of your friends. richie, personally, admires this about you and thinks of you as an "innocent little ball of sunshine", and likes to put his arm on your head to show his dominance.
your relationship with stanley uris is a bit complicated; of course, at first, it was unproblematic being friends with him, as you were easy opposites. you spoke into the space that he was too quiet to fill, and it was comfortable for the both of you; you got to speak your mind without interruption, and stanley was able to have company that didn't force him to interact gregariously. however, as you grew with time, he found your carelessness to be irritating, as he hated feeling he had to be anxious all of the time; stanley enjoys turning his alarm off, and running on low function, and he thinks it is hard to do that when you're jumping off cliffs, climbing on slippery rocks with your eyes covered, and provoking bullies three years older than you. he finds you irrational and childlike, which is difficult for him to grasp as an inherently strategic and analytical person. you are a glass half full, and he is glass half empty. he prefers to consider the consequences, and you have a tendency to wait to find them out after you commit the deed. he has his future planned, and you want to live in the moment; you enjoy surprises, new opportunities, as there is something entirely boring about being sure what you plan to do each day. sometimes, you believe stanley wakes early, dresses in the outfit he put aside the night before, and takes a seat to write down a schedule. you shiver at the thought. unfortunately, the disagreements put tension on your friendship, as hanging out periodically ends with an argument, and one of you stomping out to rant to one of the others. you sincerely care for each other, but also find each other extremely irritating when the situation calls for it; which is becoming increasingly habitual as you grow taller with age.
but you also find him to be beautiful.
you're fifteen when you properly meet ben hanscom, beverly marsh, and mike hanlon. it's also the first time you felt something strike deep in your gut for that particular redheaded girl, and the way her newly chopped locks curled at the ends. she had tucked your hair behind your ear as you wrestled with the button on your overall shorts, and took your hands in hers, pushing them aside so she could slip the button through the hole properly. she was so graceful, elegant even, in the way she held herself. that day, you labeled the twist of your insides as insecurity, nothing else.
it was a mix of many things, you realized a long time after. insecurity, deep-rooted sexual confusion, and jealousy.
beverly is the first to jump off the cliff and into the lake below. after aiding you in your clothing disaster, she slips her creamy overdress from her shoulders, and gives her arms a good shake. she departs with a glance back at you, the sun beating down on her hair like fiery red flames, and her icy eyes contrasting its intensity. suddenly, you feel so small; so plain. before she could see your lip quiver, she was in the air, high like an angel, before falling towards the murky waters.
the stars in bill and ben's eyes, and the admiration in the rest of theirs, erupt a cacophony for you, striking your heart like a harsh note: these aren't your boys anymore.
bill jumps next, and then the others, eddie last. the splash sends spikes in your spine, but it's a warm hand on your shoulder that kick-starts your body. sandy curls appear in front of your face, tilting to reveal the kind eyes of stanley uris. his mouth is shaped in a firm line, a bit disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm. he seems to be at war with himself.
he stays silent for a moment, eyes searching the sky for the right words. "i want to go last," he finally breathes, seemingly triumphed in his verbiage, "i don't want them to see me cross my fingers behind my back before i go."
you laugh softly, relieved. you are grateful knowing he wasn't going to pry in your hesitation, or your brief self-consciousness. even when the two of you bicker, you hold high respect for stan; he's a boy of few words. he isn't shy, and certainly isn't bashful; he simply chooses to speak sparingly, believing that the chattiest voices aren't always loudest. he doesn't word vomit to fill the silence; that is how you know his words are meticulously chosen, like pieces to a greater puzzle.
stanley's thin frame makes no unnecessary movements, but rather awaits yours. his hand has long since abandoned your shoulder, and rather is cuffing his other calmly in front of his hips. the lack of speech isn't menacing or awkward, but instead a bit comforting; it gives you adequate time to finish undressing, tossing aside your socks and shoes. you pull the loose scrunchie from your hair, and give yourself a silent nod in reassurance.
"promise not to tell?" stan says quietly when he's sure you're more stable, curious eyes searching for yours.
"pinky promise," you insist, holding up the smallest finger on your right hand. when his wraps around yours, you toss him a childlike grin. "i never break them."
and then you're gone, cascading down towards the green waters, each wave crystalizing in your descent.
"i know," stanley whispers to himself. little do you know, he has the same epiphany you had just seconds ago, aweing after beverly.
he crosses his fingers behind his back, and steps off the cliff's edge.
air reaches your lungs when you pull your head above the surface, and you gather your sopping hair from your skin, laying it against your neck. you face the sky, and stan's dive is a flash of gold: like a bird, graceful in it's dip, his curls like its wings.
you find yourself wanting to ask him what it's like to fly.
on a boiling day in the middle of june, you and the others spend a day in the quarry again, but instead have a picnic by the rocks rather than racing back into town for a snack at eddie's house. it was mike's idea; he hadn't told anyone until he showed up early that day, sweaty and beaming with a quaint basket and blanket tucked under his arm. you felt a bit guilty, honestly— you wish he would've told you so you all could pitch in.
he seemed ecstatic, though, setting it up, so you couldn't bring yourself to mention that.
beverly says she wants to sunbathe with you, so you agree with hot cheeks and position yourself awkwardly next to her, posture straight with your knees tucked under your arms. your stiffness goes unnoticed by her, thankfully, so you're able to admire her form in peace as she stretches her limbs out with a soft sigh. compared to her, you feel unbearably rigged, unbearably not feminine. a thought crosses your mind that her own feminity outshines yours so much that the boys must think of you as one of them, minus the third leg, and with twin petals blossoming on your chest.
the boys are curled around their usual spots, the multiple boulders a few feet from your seated position, chatting carelessly. mike is discluded, lost in preparing the perfect picnic for you all. perhaps if you had noticed the simplicity of it all, you wouldn't have blurted out something ignorant to force a tension in the summer air.
"do you guys think i'm pretty?"
the conversation drops briefly, takes a soft roar, and then entirely ceases as seven pairs of eyes draw to you, including mike and beverly. the red-haired girl has a smirk on her lips, tilting her head ever so slightly as if to test your patience and purpose.
bill clears his throat gently. "u-um, well, yeah of c-course.. w-why wouldn't w-we?"
you shrug nonchalantly, and the others eyeball each other, pleading for another to say something else. eddie and ben slyly play rock paper scissors for a sacrifice.
richie whistles lowly. "this is gonna be good."
your face's temperature soon begins to rival the sun as your breath hitches in your throat, attention turned directly on beverly, as though her presence might calm your nerves. it doesn't. your lower lip is caught between your teeth, as you grow progressively more embarrassed of yourself the longer the others stare.
beverly smiles gently, her intensely blue eyes never straying from yours. "i think you're the prettiest girl in the world."
you sputter suddenly, adjusting your aviators, and spill out something along the lines of "i have to go take a piss", and skitter off in the direction of the woods. you curse yourself the entire way.
richie laughs, breaking the tension. he pats stanley's bare back roughly as the lanky boy stares at the trees you disappeared behind. "and the hits just keep on coming."
"beep beep, richie," eddie scolds, and richie winks at him, suggestively nodding towards him. eddie rolls his eyes and his gaze drops to his feet.
"sandwiches, anyone?" mike whimpers, a lopsided grin as he holds up a loaf of bread. stanley gently pushes past him and disappears into the brush.
"well, i, for one, would like three," richie replies, slapping his thighs as he stands.
eddie mumbles a word or two about richie being "as selfish as ever", and makes his way to mike also. beverly is a bit quiet, and bill chooses to sit beside her; his hands fall to his knees, rubbing them subconsciously.
"u-um, you didn't do a-anything wrong," he says, aware of the deep concentration beverly has. he can usually tell when everyone is upset or has something on their mind. "she's j-just been a l-little self conscious lately."
"please," beverly whispers, lifting her head to the sky, "i can tell she's been different around me. i must have said something to offend her. i should apologize—"
beverly pulls herself up, dusts off her legs, and is yanked down by bill's shaky hand.
"d-d-don't—" when the girl steadies, he continues, "let them b-b-be. if y-you really did s-something to h-hurt her, s-s-stanley will f-find out. trust him."
the greenery is exceedingly massive— miles and miles of towering woodland, filtering in streams of sunlight, rocky terrain around every trunk. you find yourself breathing heavily while seated on a boulder that is tucked away behind a ledge, facing the opposite way of the opening that your friends are at. elbows pressed into your knees, you put your face in your hands.
the air is tightening around your throat, and your uneven breaths become wheezes. you fist your hair in frustration, and smooth it down seconds after. this turns into a cycle, as you calm your wild nerves. fuck. are you allowed to think of her like that? you inhale deeply, the scent of soil filling your senses.
twigs crack in the distance, rapidly approaching feet obliterating the silence that has so graciously aided you in your toxic thoughts. you run your hands through your hair, and then fist a handful at the scalp. you smooth it out tenderly. when the footsteps are extremely close, slow down their pace, and stop entirely, you squeeze your eyes shut.
"go the fuck away, bill, i don't need your lect—" you bark, waving him away, but are cut off by long arms wrapping around your neck. your anxiety washes away, but you make no effort to embrace them in turn. your hands become fists, with no fabric of a shirt to grasp. you don't notice the tears racing down your face until your eyes and cheeks burn furiously, and your throat is caught up in sobs. when you peek, the sight of stanley's dusty curls in your peripheral sends waves of numbness and comfort over your skin.
your thoughts become hazy once you've lain your head against the bone of stanley's bare shoulder, and you feel a weight on your body lift from you— and transfer to him.
you swear you can hear faint whispering, voice cracked and vulnerable: "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay."
the part that leaves you aching for days in the future, is that you're not sure he was talking to you.
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➳ i hope you liked it! it's a bit short but idc cuz i'm tired.
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mediaeval-muse · 4 years ago
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Book Review
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Paladin’s Grace. By T. Kingfisher. Dallas: Argyll, 2020.
Rating: 2/5 stars
Genre: romantic fantasy
Part of a Series? No
Summary: Stephen's god died on the longest day of the year… Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…
***Full review under the cut.***
Trigger/Content Warnings: sexual content, violence
Overview: I think I came across this book while browsing Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, but I don’t remember for sure. Regardless, I decided to pick it up because the story of a paladin whose god has died intrigued me. I’m a sucker for stories about crises of faith, and I was in the mood for a fun adventure with a little angst thrown in. While the premise was very much my jam, the prose style ultimately prevented me from connecting with this book. In my opinion, it felt like the book was aimed at readers with arrested emotional development: everything felt sanitized for a younger audience (as in, there was a lot of awkward, quirky humor while nothing felt particularly threatening) yet there were also graphic sexual scenes, reminding me of a lot of New Adult stereotypes. It prevented the story from delving deep into things like what a crisis of faith might look like and how someone might navigate it, and undercut the thrill of the political intrigue. As a result, I personally couldn’t give this book a higher rating.
Writing: Kingfisher’s prose is fairly simple - simple sentences, simple images, etc. It’s pretty easy to get through, and readers can skim, if that’s what they’re into. It’s also full of “quirky humor” so that the mood is fairly light throughout. While sometimes the humor would get a chuckle from me, most of the time, it completely destroyed the mood. The best way I can think to describe it is that it resembles a lot of stereotypes I associate with New Adult fantasy books: the book feels like it’s written for younger readers, but the sexual humor/graphic sex scenes prove otherwise. Characters will make childish jokes, despite most of them being in their 30s (for example, “I wonder if you can stab someone with an ice sculpture”), or stumble over their words in what seems like an attempt to make them seem awkward (”I... um...” or “I... er... what?”). Things like “Gnnnrggzzz” and “Ohmyfuckingshitfuckshitgaaaaaaah” are written out, further making me feel like I was reading something meant to make younger readers smile. Characters rarely act their age and situations were rarely treated with the level of seriousness one would expect in reality. I personally wasn’t a fan; it made the book (and characters) feel somewhat juvenile. To be clear, I’m not against a little humor - I think humor could have been used effectively in this book, perhaps to show how Grace is a bright spot in Stephen’s otherwise gloomy life. I’m also not against light, “fluffy” romances, but I do think there’s a difference between fluff and a lack of emotional maturity.
Kingfisher also had a tendency to repeat certain things, which became irritating. Every other page, it seemed like Grace said something about how Stephen smelled like gingerbread, and it got old really fast. I also noticed that constructions like “He’s a paladin, so he...” and the like were used frequently, which did less to show me what Stephen was like and more to tell me what stereotypes are associated with paladins.
Plot: This book mainly follows Stephen and Grace as they become entangled in two main problems: 1. there is a serial killer on the loose, and his modus operandi is leaving behind severed heads, sans bodies; 2. there is a mysterious assassination plot aimed at the Crown Prince of a neighboring kingdom. To be honest, I found the serial killer plot underwhelming. It only seemed to be present to give Stephen an excuse to escort Grace places, and even when we found out who the killer was, I didn’t feel the rush of excitement or a sense of closure. I think perhaps this was because the serial killer plot wasn’t one that readers could try to piece together with the characters - at most, there was a single clue, and then it was solved (but readers can’t even predict the twist, so I didn’t feel any sense of suspense).
As for the assassination plot, I also found it underwhelming. Although it builds better than the serial killer plot, characters started acting in nonsensical - and even idiodic - ways once Grace was personally caught up the drama. I got the sense that characters were acting out of emotion and not reason, which is ok sometimes, but not ALL THE TIME. In general, I didn’t find that this assassination plot was clever, and there wasn’t much that differentiated it from other political intrigues that I’ve read in some YA fantasy.
Characters: Stephen, our hero, is paladin who previously served a warrior god, the Saint of Steel. At the beginning of the book, Stephen’s god dies (we don’t know how), and three years later, he is still struggling to find his purpose. At first, I thought I would like Stephen. He seemed like a gentleman, and he had some non-stereotypical hobbies, like knitting. I also liked that much of his personal turmoil involved some anxiety over how people would perceive him and his Order. The fear that he would succumb to a berserker rage, in particular, was an interesting bit of lore, and I thought this berserker rage could have been used to prompt further exploration of things like violence and hypermasculinity. However, as the book continued, Stephen became more and more bland. For the first half or two-thirds of the book, he resembles a 14 year old’s idea of a safe love interest in that he was perfectly chivalrous and without serious flaws. As time went on and he became more infatuated with Grace, he started getting somewhat possessive. Any man who so much as looked at grace would be subject to murderous fantasies, and while this was probably meant to show that Stephen was jealous and therefore devoted to Grace, I found it ridiculous and childish.
Grace, our heroine, is also rather bland. She’s a perfumer, which itself could have been fun, but her personality is mainly defined by her awkwardness. She also resembles a lot of YA/New Adult heroines in that she insists that she’s not attractive and that no man could be interested in her, despite at least two male characters flirting with her. It was frustrating being in her head, at times, because she would constantly say things like “normal people don’t do this,” making her seem even more awkward and “not like other people.” Her insistence on her mousiness and rather bland characterization made me wonder why anyone was in love with her at all. She moreover didn’t seem to be at qualified to handle the serial killer or assassination mysteries - in fact, I don’t think she ever uses her unique skillset (identifying scents) to help solve either mystery at all.
Marguerite, Grace’s best friend, is a bit more interesting in that she’s a spy with mysterious motivations. Marguerite is better equipped to deal with the assassination plot, as she has various contacts that feed her information and let her into places people wouldn’t normally be able to access. I liked that Marguerite was a good friend to Grace, but she, too, was a bit emotionally stunted.
Other supporting characters were interesting on paper, but because of the writing style, didn’t seem to be as compelling as they could have been. I liked Zale, the gender-neutral (or nonbinary? agender?) lawyer-priest who seemed committed to their calling to defend the helpless in court. Stephen’s fellow paladins also seemed like a supportive group of friends, and the Bishop of the White Rat was an admirable woman of force and personality. I would have liked to see more of them.
Other:
Worldbuilding: This book doesn’t have a lot of heavy worldbuilding, and it honestly didn’t need it. I appreciated the fact that I wasn’t overwhelmed with lore or facts about the kingdom - Kingfisher mostly stuck to what details were important to the plot, and for that, I was grateful.
Romance: Stephen and Grace’s romance was a little lackluster for my tastes. The main barrier to them being together stemmed from Stephen thinking he was too broken and that he might accidentally hurt her by going into a berserker rage (which... how does that still happen if his god is dead?), and Grace thinking that she is so bad at being a lover that it turns men off. Honestly, I don’t find the “I’m so broken and dangerous” angle to be very compelling. I prefer there to be other barriers to characters being together than just emotions - barriers that force some kind of character development and plot progression. In this case, Stephen and Grace don’t seem to grow much. They just get over their reservations, in part because they thought they were going to die at one point.
There were also minor scenes that made me uncomfortable. I love romance stories and don’t mind sex scenes (when they’re warranted, not when they’re gratuitous), but I hate scenes where one person has to avoid detection (by some king of city guard or something), so the other person covers them with their body and they pretend to be a person and prostitute (or something), miming sex to make it seem like they saw nothing. I just find it awkward, not funny or the basis for mutual attraction. The fact that Stephen and Grace meet this way made it all the more awkward for me to read. I guess that was the point, since Grace is a little awkward herself, but I still hate these types of scenes.
I also personally dislike when male characters are described as noticing or thinking about a female character’s bosom. Like, I get it - straight men like breasts. But I don’t want the basis of a relationship to be physical attraction. Do something else. Though I didn’t get the impression that Stephen was a creep, I didn’t like how often the author would mention that Stephen noticed Grace’s body. Grace’s breasts were mentioned a number of times, and it made me uncomfortable every time.
Overall, I felt let down by this book. While I was drawn in by the premise of a crisis of faith and a thrilling web of lies and secrecy, I was met with a formulaic romance that relied on awkwardness to make emotionally arrested characters seem relatable.
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vavuska · 4 years ago
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If you do quick search on Google Imagine for draw of chubby persons, you will see that most of the subjects are drawn with sad expressions, while their slim and athletic alter egos are happy and smiling.
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Why they are sad? Because they are “overweight” and they have low self-esteem.
Mmmm. They have low self-esteem because society told them — and us — that if our bodies doesn't match with standards imposed by mainstream media, we have no value: we are not attractive, ambitious or, yes, smart. We have no talent and no one will love us. That's not true, obviously.
Being slim and athletic won't make necessarly us happy.
Some girls who have a natural thin body structure for genetic reasons, have find their selves slotted into a footnote: “Oh yeah, and if you’re naturally skinny—must be nice—you’ve got a fast metabolism and stuff so, ya know, just eat more.”
That “just eat more” advice would work fine for most people, but the fact that they aren’t most people is precisely why they’re being given that advice in the first place, and also why that advice is rather naive. For most people, eating lots of food means gaining weight. Maybe the person who heard that thing, is actually eating a lot and they probably even like it (but they don't got fat).
What most people don’t realize is that telling someone to eat more is as silly as us telling someone other, “Just eat less—duh.” That’s not going to solve any problems: it is just making them feel uncomfortable with their body.
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Again, if you search for "skinny girls draw" on Google Imagine, you will find smiling persons, that show proudly an apple, compared with chubby sad persons with fuzzy drinks and hamburgers.
Ok. A complete meal against a fruit. Wow.
Both being underweight that being overweight could cause or be caused by depression.
Although depression amongst overweight people is more common in women than men, both genders are equally prone to feeling depressed when it comes to thin people.
The study was conducted by Seoul National University of Medicine, but experts have not concluded whether being skinny is a cause or symptom of depression.
They pointed out that depressed people may be more likely to lose - or gain - weight, or it could be that being thin - or overweight - makes people depressed.
However there are gender differences.
“It seems that the current ideal of thinness affects women more than their male counterparts and causes more psychological distress in women, which can, in turn, lead to depression,” the researchers said.
“In contrast, men who are overweight showed a significantly decreased risk of depression.”
Dr Agnes Ayton, vice-chairman of the eating disorders faculty at the Royal College of Psychiatrists, said: “This large study confirms that optimal nutrition is fundamentally important for physical and mental health. Both being underweight and obese is associated with an increased risk of depression.”
“It is an important finding, as people with eating disorders often assume that losing weight will improve their happiness. This study shows that the opposite is true and malnutrition has a detrimental effect on people's mood. Maintaining a healthy weight is essential for good mental health.”
Ok, so... An happy life and an happy mental health is very connected with a good self-esteem than the actual “healthy weight”. People with healthy weight can have a low self-esteem and depression too.
I admit that I lack a lot of confidence and do not feel good about myself most of the time.
And when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.
When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.
In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.
In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.
Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.
You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping. Or searching for comfort in food.
People with a good self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).
HERE SOME USEFUL TIPS TO RAISE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM:
Our self-image is deeply connect with our body image.
What is body image?
Body image is defined as an individual construct that is influenced by mixed feelings and ideas about one’s own appearance.
However, because there is a complex overlap between emotions and self-perception, body image is not always reflective of how an individual actually appears. Like self-esteem, body image can be distorted or inflated, relatively accurate or slightly ignored depending on the individual.
If you’re an individual who has struggled with poor body image and depression, it can be difficult to distinguish which came first.
Understanding where negative self-talk begins can be an overwhelming endeavor. Many people have become so accustomed to the emphasis our culture places on appearance that obsessing about it seems normal. In addition to this, there are unlimited ways an individual’s self-esteem and the way they perceive their body can be influenced.
Women are generally characterized by being concerned about attractiveness, and less satisfied with their appearance based on achieving unrealistic standards of thinness. While the foundations for acceptable appearance may be built in adolescence, as adults we often find attractiveness correlated with success, competency or happiness. This message, however it may be played out in media, can reinforce scrutiny about body image and dissatisfaction or unhappiness at not meeting the standard.
This by no means indicates that men are not vulnerable to the cycles of negative body image and depression. In fact, it’s estimated that roughly 45% of men are unhappy with their bodies (Better Health). The same factors and pressures exist for men, but the ways in which the disorders will express themselves can be different.
Men, for example, can be more likely to engage in over-exercising, generally being pushed toward the use and effectiveness of their body being likened to a machine.
There is a correlation between poor body image and eating behaviors. When people feel poorly about themselves and have a negative body image, they are more likely to be susceptible to disordered eating behavior (Cargill, 2012). The negative self-talk and appraisal of one’s body and appearance, coupled with depression, can lead to a negative cycle of living.
HERE YOU CAN FIND SOME USEFUL TIPS ABOUT RAISING YOUR SELF-IMAGE:
The article above give precious advice:
- Give yourself some daily task: I know that can be difficult, but it will give a purpose to your day and it will make you fell better, if you completed your "to do" list. Search for quotes that will inspire you to give your best. Set realistic expectations for yourself: Consciously think how reasonable and manageable your goals are before striving for them, remembering that life in general is imperfect. Recognise there is a huge difference between failing at something you do and being a failure as a person. Don’t confuse the two. Redefine failure, and keep trying. When you have low self-esteem, it’s common to think of yourself as a complete and utter failure. But failure is part of success. Failure doesn’t characterize you as a person or determine your self-worth.
- Develop your interests: When you’re depressed and your self-esteem feels like it’s sinking daily, it’s easy to overlook your passions. Take the time to “write a list of things you used to love to do and stopped doing along with things you always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.”
For exemple, if you loved to draw, then take your time, a paper and draw something inspire you.
- Do some exercise: that don't means that you must to start to have hard gym training, it have a cost, and you could be not ready for that (myself avoid gyms because I don't want to be judged for my body), but you can make some movement in other ways: instead of moving your care, you can walk to reach near destination or use a bike, if you have one. One of the best parts of my day is biking to university: when I'm nervous, it calms me.
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That's why I decided to turn that negative narration in a positive one: I edited the pics to meke people happier and give them various interests!
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