#the cat model was killing me (it still is) so i decided to see if i could make some of the setting's food

[storm-of-silver]

[Gif ID: A blender animation of a bowl and some round meatballs. The meatballs fly away from eachother the second the animation starts. End ID]

guys help my balls exploded

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[sapphic-agent]

Let's Talk About the Switched at Birth Theory

If you told me I would be making an Ever After High Theory in 2024 I would have never believed you. But I recently came across a theory from like 2022 that poses the possibility of Apple and Raven being switched at birth. At first I thought there wasn't a chance it held water, but the more I looked into it the more I was sent down a rabbit hole.

(I know this is a hated theory please don't kill me)

The original theory was made by _fairytale_vibes_ on YouTube. Here's a link to the most updated version of the theory, watch it if you haven't already:

I went into this video thinking that it wouldn't lead anywhere, but OP does make a lot of very good points. So with her theory in the back of my head, I decided to dive into the book series to see if I could find anything to support or disprove it.

(I'll be editing as I read the books and rewatch the show, so at the time of posting it I've only completely finished The Storybook of Legends. So whatever I say here may not be 100% accurate compared to the rest of the series. I'll update and revise as I continue reading, but please tell me if whatever I've said is wrong)

1. Appearances

This may be the most important part of the theory as it's been the focal point of the original video. So let's dive into it from the book's descriptions.

Raven: "...long black hair with purple highlights, dark eyebrows, strong nose and chin."

The Evil Queen: Dark hair, deep purple eyes

Snow White: "...black hair was curled under her golden crown. Her skin was still white as snow, her lips red as blood."

Apple: Pale, blond, red lips

One thing I definitely noticed was that multiple times, the book goes out of its way to compare Raven's looks to her mother's. Raven herself calls it out multiple times. However, it actually seemed to be the opposite with Apple. While her features- other than her hair- are said to fit what Snow White is supposed to be, there aren't many comparisons made to her mother herself.

In fact, I think the only time she's actually directly compared to her mother is when she looks at her destiny during Legacy Day. "She looked so much like her mother, only blond." Even here, there aren't many details about it, not like there are Raven's.

(This whole montage is interesting, I'll talk about it more later)

One of the theory's linchpins is that The Evil Queen in her youth seemed to have platinum blond hair. In the Dragon Games special, she is animated as a teen with what looks like whitish hair. And in the graphic novel The Class of Classics, her hair does look platinum blond (and is described as being such by her roommate and best friend, the Cheshire Cat).

Apple's blond hair is an anomaly. There's never been a Snow White with blond hair, as the story is clear about it being ebony. It's brought up multiple times in the book and is a point of insecurity for Apple. The Evil Queen also having blond hair is an... Interesting connection for them to have. As in, they share the one trait that separates Apple from the Snow White lineage.

One thing that actually threw me off, however, is that the Evil Queen actually had green eyes in her youth. And you can actually see hints of green in the purple of her eyes if you look at her show model. Raven's eyes are purely purple and Apple's are blue. The EQ having green eyes seemed so left field to me.

The theory implies that the purple highlights in Raven's hair and the purple coloring in the EQ's hair comes from their magic, if we extend that to their eyes it does actually start to make more sense. Raven's powers could develop quicker/stronger than her mother's, which could have caused the purple coloring to affect her eye color quicker than it did the EQ's. It's very possible that Raven was born with green eyes and they changed the stronger her magic got.

But then what about Apple's eyes? One thing I found odd even watching Dragon Games for the first time is the very obvious difference in the shade of Apple and Snow's eyes. They're both blue, but Apple's are a lot lighter while SW's seem to be darker. It's like the show went out of their way to show even more distinction between them.

You know who also has blue eyes? The Good King.

Well, according to his Wiki page. I actually didn't make note if his eye color was mentioned in SBOL (and I can't because I had to return the loan). This fact may not be true, since Raven's non-existent brother Michael is still on there (seriously why hasn't anyone removed him).

But still, if the Good King does have blue eyes, that could be another physical connection Apple has to Raven's family.

2. Parallels

One thing I was surprised the theory never mentioned was the Two Sisters fairytale.

If you don't know, the Two Sisters is the tale about an "ugly" sister and a "beautiful" sister. The ugly sister is kind so butterflies float around her head while the beautiful sister is mean so she only attracts flies. The beautiful sister wants to get rid of her flies so she has the ugly sister lower her into a well. Then she makes the ugly sister go into the well too, and she almost drowns. But she escapes with the help of her butterflies. The ugly sister turns beautiful and the beautiful sister turns ugly. The flies that circled the beautiful sister returned and chased her into the forest and she was never heard from again.

This story is important because Raven found out that the sisters who were supposed to have this story- Bella Sister and Brutta Sister- never signed and instead ran away.

Why am I bringing it up? Well, in SBOL after Raven reads the story, the next time Apple is given a POV, we get a flashback of her almost drowning in a well as a child.

This is very clearly an attempt to draw a parallel between Apple and Raven and Bella and Brutta. But if it was just that Raven decided to reject her fate like Bella, it doesn't say much. Brutta didn't want Bella to suffer a villain's fate as much as Bella didn't want to try to drown her, while Apple wants to embrace destiny fully even if it means confining Raven to a life she doesn't want.

To me, this is trying to tell us something else. That maybe we should be looking at Apple and Raven's relationship differently.

3. Attitude and Personality

A somewhat surprising detail that I noticed is that Apple acts a lot like the Evil Queen, especially in how she treats Raven.

"Apple smiled. She could play the damsel-in-distress like a cow could jump over a moon. The male species couldn’t resist wanting to help her."

"...but the guilt passed as quickly as a butterfly. Looking out for Raven was in Raven’s best interest."

"It’s not wrong for people to see in you your true nature." (To Raven)

"Sometimes she couldn’t think of anything comforting to say. It was a small weakness she was determined to mend."

"Raven’s Coat of Infinite Darkness should have hidden her from anyone who didn’t know she was already there. Apple was very smart."

"Take your hands off me at once, or I swear by wishing wells, seven-league boots, silver wands, and all marvelous things that you will regret it!” (To Goblins)

This is NOT me saying that Apple is evil like the EQ. But more that she can be manipulative, overbearing, and commanding similarly to the EQ. Apple is a lot nicer and has more of a conscience, but she isn't afraid of crossing boundaries to get what she wants (or rather, to do what she thinks is right). She lacks natural empathy a lot of the time (which isn't a bad thing), and it's something she's desperately trying to fix about herself. She's also said to be very intelligent.

(I also want to mention her behavior during the Topsy Turvy spell. I know the spell was said to make the people cursed act the opposite of how they usually would, but as OP points out, Apple really went far with it. She wasn't a mean girl, she was downright evil. OP assumed this could be her true nature. I... Half disagree. I think it's way more that Apple makes a point to make sure she's as nice and helpful as possible, hiding her true feelings so that she's the perfect Snow White. I think the topsy turvy spell made it so that she didn't do that. In other words, it got rid of her inhibitions. Instead of making sure she doesn't say and do awful things, she no longer holds anything back for the sake of being good which is why she's so much worse than the other students)

But like with appearances, there isn't much connecting Raven to Snow White. Sure, Raven is kind. She shows concern for others and likes to help people. She tries to be nice even when she's treated horribly. But nothing about this is specifically Snow White.

In fact, she seems to drive animals away. Her singing causes thorns to ensnare her and Apple. Only ogres obey and listen to her (though they did adhere to Apple). She's also sarcastic and dry. In this regard, there isn't a lot about her that matches up with Snow White.

(If we're being completely fair, Snow White also never had as many defining traits as the Evil Queen, even in the original Grimm Fairytale. So attempting to mirror her in Apple or Raven might have been a struggle for the writers)

4. Symbolism

You know what threw me off? The fact that Apple's animal companion was a snow fox.

It seemed like such an odd choice when I read it. Like, why a fox of all things? But then I looked into actual symbolism for snow foxes.

Overall Symbolism: Adaptability, Resourcefulness, & Intelligence

Christian Symbolism: Purity & Humility

Native American Symbolism: Resilience & Determination

Eastern Symbolism: Cleverness & Cunning

I actually thought it was really interesting that all of these traits seem to fit Apple. She's resilient, clever, determined, and resourceful. But she's also supposed to stand for purity and humility too. Almost like there are two sides of Apple: how she actually is and what she pushes herself to be because of expectations.

(This actually comes up a lot in the book. Apple's good deeds come from a place of needing to set a good example and live up to the Snow White legacy. She separates what she actually thinks and feels from what she's supposed to perceive as right and wrong)

Raven having a dragon is definitely less unexpected. However, there's decent symbolism with her too. In Eastern traditions, dragons stand for supernatural power, wisdom, strength, and hidden knowledge. These are all things that definitely fit Raven. If we're looking at this in comparison to the Snow White destiny, the wisdom and power could be alluding to her eventually becoming Queen.

5. My Thoughts

Do I think Raven and Apple were switched at birth? No. Primarily because I can't think of a valid reason for it happening. OP suggests the Evil Queen switched Apple and Raven's powers, forcing Snow White to switch out their babies. But this reason is convoluted at best.

For one, the Evil Queen seems to care for Raven as much as she's able. Raven herself states that the EQ loves her in her own way. She wants to bond with Raven, wants Raven by her side as she tries to take over the world. I can't see her being like this towards someone she knows is Snow's daughter.

I also can't think of why she would do this. She's all too eager to continue her legacy through Raven. Why would she change Apple's fate that way if she was her actual heir?

No, my theory is that Raven and Apple are sisters, both daughters of the Evil Queen.

(I'm so sorry Rapple shippers)

I know, that's possibly more outrageous than the switched at birth theory. But my mind couldn't stop circling back to this. Apple shares so many traits with the Evil Queen, but Raven doesn't share as many with Snow White. The Two Sisters parallels were too heavy to ignore.

Why and how would this happen? I think that when the Evil Queen had them, Apple was born without powers. Since the EQ values power over everything (other than beauty) she decided Apple was worthless. But instead of getting rid of Apple, she gave her to Snow and Charming (who couldn't have kids) either anonymously as a cruel twist of fate or some sort of deal was made between them.

That or her having twins sent Grimm and Snow into panic mode since she was already on her magical rampage. So they made a plan to take one of the babies to avoid something similar happening in the future. Snow agreed to raise her as her own as the next Snow White to combat whatever "natural evil" she was born with.

It could be why Grimm is so invested in Apple and Raven specifically. He's trying to make sure Apple stays good and Raven turns evil so that the Snow White story can play out smoothly and things can stay balanced within the Realms.

Now if we wanna step away from secret baby theories (which I totally get), another possibility is that Raven and Apple's destinies were swapped. Which I also think is very likely.

OP points out in Thronecoming when Raven calls Apple selfish for wanting her to sign, Apple retorts that she wants to keep everyone safe. She then hands Raven an apple and tells her that she's the one being selfish. She's directly mirroring what the Evil Queen does, like their roles have been swapped.

She also adds that when Raven is transported into Snow White's story later in the episode, the old woman is basically shouting that this is her destiny as she hands her the apple. None of the other girls are being pushed as strongly. Sure, we can look at this as just her destiny in general, but it could be indicating that she will take the role of Snow White.

We saw in Dragon Games that Apple easily became jealous of Raven for how liked she was becoming. Which is similar to why the Evil Queen hates Snow White. If the show hadn't gotten cancelled, this could have been her slow descent towards evil while Raven was coming into being good.

(And to be honest, this can still happen with the twin theory. Every Snow White story is different. A jealous sister can fit into the story as well as a jealous stepmother)

Now before anyone says that Apple and Raven saw their destinies... No they didn't. They saw their fates from a fake Storybook of Legends. A fake put there by the Evil Queen, mind you.

Raven's fate was depicted as her being even more evil than her mother. It would be so like the EQ to curse the fake book to depict her daughter's fate as overly villainous. As for Apple, it could have also been cursed to act out as the original book would for anyone who proclaimed themselves the child of whatever fairytale character. So her saying that she's the daughter of Snow White showed her the typical fate of the next Snow White.

(I mentioned earlier that Apple is only said to look like Snow White during her glimpse into the future at Legacy Day. This actually plays into the fate she sees being false. It's showing her what she wants to see, and that's being able to live up to her mother)

Yes Raven signed the true book in Wonderland. But all that did was give her the EQ's full powers. Powers which were part of the reason Apple became jealous in the first place. We never saw Raven's actual destiny from that book.

So no, I don't think Apple and Raven were switched at birth. But I do think OP's observations do leave a lot to be analyzed. I know a lot of people will say that this being canon ruins the story, but I honestly don't think so. Raven and Apple can still decide their destinies. It doesn't matter who their parents are or aren't, what matters is what choices they make. The main theme of Ever After High is choice. If Apple ever did turn towards evil, Raven would be right there trying to pull her back.

They choose their destinies. They decide their fates no matter what happens

[iheartpeppino]

Heya! Saw your headcanons post.

This is very unoriginal ik but what is Peppino's relationship with the rest of the pizza tower cast like in your headcanon? Like friendship wise? Has he befriended the bosses to an extent or is he still sus of them all XD

I hope you don't mind if I cover more than just the bosses!

Gustavo: I can't decide whether Gustavo has known Peppino for a long time, or if he only just met him during the events of Pizza Tower. Either way, assisting Peppino with Brick's help has been a bonding experience. Gustavo and Peppino are BFFs post-Tower. I see them having a queer-platonic relationship if they don't decide to outright date each other. I can see Gustavo having a hard time understanding Peppino and his emotions until Peppino opens up to him. Gustavo has never been traumatized the way Peppino has... but he has a good heart and wants to help him to the best of his ability. Peppino is grateful to have someone as loyal and kind as Gustavo to keep him anchored, even if he occasionally gets frustrated with his ignorance.

Brick: Peppino hated rats before he met Brick. Post-Tower, however, he's come to appreciate them. Brick is not only very handy in the kitchen (don't tell the health inspector), he's been known to cuddle Peppino when he's anxious to try and comfort him. Brick is a rat, but he's treated more like a house cat who also happens to be able to cook. Peppino likes him well enough.

Mr. Stick: Nothing has changed about Peppino's relationship with Mr. Stick. Stick continues to try and scam more money out of Peppino, or even outright STEAL it. Peppino doesn't fall for any of it or let Mr. Stick get away with it unless he genuinely needs something Stick has. Scott Stick is a greedy asshole who preys on desperate people like Peppino to make a profit. I like him a lot, don't get me wrong, but he's an asshole.

Pepperman: Everyone's favorite artistic pepper made a killing with his art after the Tower fell, and even got to star in a movie with The Noise later when the Tower was rebuilt. Despite his already large ego growing larger as a result, Pepperman knows he owes at least SOME of his newfound popularity to Peppino. Had Peppino never fought him, or destroyed the Tower in the first place, Pepperman would have remained an undiscovered talent, only making art of himself for himself. So whenever Pepperman is around the chef, he's a little nicer to him than he is to everyone else. In fact, he's even asked Peppino to model for him sometime so that he can make art of him. Peppino thinks Pepperman is way too full of himself, but other than that, he's not really a bad guy. Plus his art is actually pretty good quality. However, he's way too anxious to model for him... Peppino doesn't think very highly of himself, insecure about his physical appearance, so he'd feel way too exposed to model for an art project. That doesn't mean he can't change his mind, though...

The Vigilante: While they certainly had their differences at first, The Vigilante realizes now that Pizzaface/Pizzahead had lied to him about Peppino's intentions. Vigi knows now that Peppino is a good person who was just trying to save his already-struggling business. As someone who knows the meaning of hard work and responsibility, tending to his grandpa's farm, Vigi understands why Peppino had acted so desperately and violently, even if it resulted in the Tower's collapse and an initial loss of the farm. It's safe to say Vigi likes Peppino these days, even respects him. Peppino gets along well with Vigi as a result. They're not quite friends... yet... but they're cool with each other.

The Noise: Peppino and The Noise have been rivals for as long as Peppino has been running his pizzeria, and their rivalry has only continued post-Tower. Said rivalry got way more heated after The Noise made a movie based on the events of the Tower, re-writing the story so that The Noise was the hero, and with Fake Peppino being passed off as the actual Peppino. Peppino was pissed and tried to beat The Noise up for this, but The Noise convinced him not to by promising to release a second version of the film where he and Peppino are working together as partners. Peppino agreed to this compromise... only to be insulted yet again when The Noise hired Peppino's nasty brother, Maurice, to play Peppino's role. (Originally, Gustavo had been asked to play himself, but when Gustavo found out Maurice was playing Peppino, he said, "Absolutely not!" The Noise was forced to hire some random guy to play Gustavo.) Needless to say, Peppino and The Noise are NOT getting along very well right now. A shame, since they actually did seem to be getting friendlier BEFORE The Noise decided to make a movie, but the little gremlin fucked that all up completely just for the sake of more money and fame.

Noisette: Peppino used to find Noisette extremely irritating due to her being... well, oblivious. However, they've actually gotten to hang out more since the Tower first fell. She's still irritating, but Peppino tolerates it a lot more now. He's even starting to understand why The Noise is dating her. Truthfully, even if Noisette is oblivious, she isn't malicious or ill-intentioned. She's actually one of the nicest, most loving people Peppino knows... at least when she's not pissed off at The Noise for doing or saying something stupid. Then she's absolutely terrifying... not that he blames her. He doesn't understand what Noisette sees in The Noise, and has even asked her once before. Her answer surprised him: "He makes me laugh!" Peppino asked if that was all. "Do I need any other reason to love someone? It's really all I need to be happy." The Noise is very aware he doesn't deserve Noisette... but he loves her, even if he has trouble admitting it.

Fake Peppino: Well... Fake Peppino has been adjusting relatively well to the outside world after the Tower fell. He made a hideaway not far from Peppino Pizza, a sort of replica of Peppino Pizza 2, constructed from trash and scraps he'd found. Every day, he'd open his trash pizzeria for business, and go about his day as if he was the real Peppino. Making pizza from whatever he could find. Even taking out the trash into the same alleyway the real Peppino took his trash into. It was... awkward for both of them. Then The Noise made his movie where HE got to be the Real Peppino, and... he suddenly had acceptance from literally everyone around him. He had fans! People were asking for his autograph. The actual Real Peppino wasn't thrilled... he wasn't angry, just... kind of helpless, since he figured Fake Peppino deserves to be happy after everything he's been through, so he can't actually get mad without looking like an asshole. He did, however, complain to The Noise. The Noise's second version of his movie clarified that Fake Peppino and Peppino Spaghetti were actually two different people... except now everyone thinks FUCKING MAURICE is Peppino. Fake Peppino can now stand on his own through his newfound popularity as a movie star, with his own identity, rather than borrowing Peppino's. Peppino is begrudgingly happy for his fake, but GOD DAMMIT HE HATES THE NOISE AND MAURICE SO GODDAMN MUCH, HOLY SHIT.

Pizzahead: There is no easy way to say this. Pizzahead has a problem, and it's Peppino-shaped. Pizzahead, once Totino the Pizza Boy, is completely obsessed with Peppino. He stalks him regularly, often in disguise. He's hellbent on replicating Peppino's pizza-making methods and capitalizing on his image so he can be rich and successful like when he was younger. Originally, this stemmed from jealousy. But the more Pizzahead spied on Peppino and went to extreme lengths to replicate his cooking process, the more that obsession blossomed into a full-on crush. Not that Pizzahead will ever admit it. If you ask him about it, he'll deflect and deny it completely. Peppino, meanwhile, HATES Pizzahead after what he tried to do his pizzeria. Pile-driving him into the tower was the most satisfying thing he'd ever done in his entire life. He's vaguely aware he's being watched, but has no idea it's Pizzahead. Peppino is so paranoid, he keeps a revolver in his house behind a glass case. Though chances are, if he does see Pizzahead again, he's simply going to beat the crap out of him the moment he shows his face. (And Pizzahead will LOVE fighting back... fighting Peppino is super FUN for him!!)

[yearningaces]

Its me again, I have some free time. Hi!

(You give so much information, I was thinking about how to word my questions until now.)

So... you said that... Okay, lets take an example, Declan hunts people who are greedy, power hungry. And you said that um, if I got it right, that the same thing, which fated him how he will look like and what kind of people he will hunt, also will decide who will be his heart.

Does that mean that, maybe, his heart is the fully opposite of the people he hunts?

Next one isnt actually a question (yet lol), but more likely a uh.. thing I realized.

So, he hunts people, bad people, thats his life goal, until he finds his heart. Then from that point his first goal is to be with his heart. Just, there, next to them, right?

(Omg, I only wanted to say two things but another jumped into my mind.) What if his heart doesnt need anything from him? Like, his heart has everything already, and like, literally needs nothing more. No life goals to reach, no one to actually live for, just like.. living. Dont get me wrong they do not reject him, but like... Just what happens? Will Declan just hang around their home? It would be so funny, like a stray cat.

And the other thing I wanted was.... uh.. oh yes! So, I tought that he is like... doesnt make decisions for himslef, just does whatever his heart says. But when his heart is unable to tell him what to do, you said that he will try to act on his own. So like he isnt entirely dependend on his heart. Do I got that right?

(I am just very curious, I hope you dont mind. I just really love the highly devoted, protective and affectionate people in the inside, and very cold and even threatening to the outside. I worded this weird, but I hope you get it. :P)

You got it! Before I said it, yes! A Hallewell's heart is the opposite of who they hunt. That's why they're so perfect in the Hallewell's eyes because if they're born with a need to hunt and kill someone who's say a greedy bastard to the point of no redemption. They'd see their heart, someone who's generous as the model example and perfect, and if you have a lapse in generosity how wonderful that you're making certain to care for yourself! You can do no wrong in your Hallewell's eyes, and yes that can be a slippery slope :D

Also yes, a Hallewell's entire life is dedicated to hunting the evil of humanity until they find their heart, then that life dedication is redirected with the same intensity which is... So much.

If Declan's heart doesn't need anything he's just. He's there. Standing outside the windows looking in during a storm. Just staring like a wet cat begging to be left into the warmth of your home and your embrace. You can need nothing, he'll still find something though even if that just means ensuring nothing touches the life You've built for yourself and offering company however you allow. He's a stray cat, he'll even purr for you if you'd like

And yes! He can make decisions on his own but they're not good ones. If his heart isn't able to guide him, he reverts to his instincts which are very brutal in nature. Animalistic in a way. Protect his heart, keep them safe and fed and warm and should anyone come near, tear them to bloodied piles of viscera. That's the extent of his thinking when in that state.

(I never mind at all! I just can't promise it won't take me a while to get to the answers but it's never a bother I promise!!)

[rayshippouuchiha]

I wanna give you my fav KHR BNHA xovers. There are some concepts in there that I think will give you some good ideas.

Role Model by Luki (KelpieCodyne)

Xanxus is stuck in Endeavor's body precanon for a little bit and he corrupts/helps Touya.

Out of this World by Luki (KelpieCodyne)

Series of the 10th Gen ditching the Mafia by running to another dimension. Feat. BNHA and Pokémon. Hibari is only in the Pokémon world

Youth by TitleUnwanted

Inspired by KHR, Hatsume makes her own 10 Yr Bazooka. It doesn't quite work right. But. 1-A gets to enjoy 5 yr old Izu.

in your eyes i see (a world so wild and free) by Zakyuu

On Hiatus but very good premise. Immortal Tsuna is Izu's dad. He frets that his son is Quirkless in a world of Quirks. Izu's worried about how to explain that his dad is a Mafia Don without getting anyone arrested. Inspired by Lying is Bad for the Soul by Hayato (TheLennyBunny), where Giotto is immortal and falls for Nana... after Iemitsu. Tsuna is Gio's son.

curiosity kills the cat (but satisfaction brought it back) by bonesetblues

Tsuna is stuck in the BNHA world in the body of a cat. Tsuna takes back all the jokes he might have made about Reborn. This is awful.

Unbound by Sky by Quess

Even ten years later Tsuna manages to get pulled into some time travel shenanigans—courtesy of Lady luck giving him the middle finger. Maybe someone should tell Shoichi and Spanner that you shouldn't leave a portal to another world open while guests are in their lab.

Featuring the young Todoroki siblings and Tsuna taking care of these kids because goddamn they need a mentally stable adult that won't take shit from a man-child projecting harder than a child beauty pageant mom.

The Vigilante Boss and His Failed Retirement Plan by Fey_StoryTeller

It supposed to be a joke, a drastic one where Izuku faked following Katchan's advice to take a leapt of faith. Then the fence on rooftop gave up on him, dying with tons of regret awaken the sleeping sky in his soul. Reminding Izuku that he was supposed to be on retirement for life and the next one- which is this one.

Unfortunately, Hyper Intuition was a bitch to deal with in a world of hero and villain, and he thought he could take advantage of the abundant human resource of heroism in this world. You'd think the world doesn't need more heroes or a Vongola.

old light still slants through by lunarctus (nex_et_nox)

I don’t want to die! Izuku screams in that underpass, drowning under the sludge villain.

Why don’t you let me help you with that? says a voice in the back of his head.

Izuku doesn't have a Quirk.

What he has is good instincts, unexplainable nightmares he can't remember, and a cat named Natsu.

My absolute favorite! Uncompleted, hasn't been updated in a while, but so amazing.

Renew by readerdreamer5625

Oneshots about what happens when 4 yr Izu meets Reborn in his dreams and the consequences of that.

So amazing, it made my brain explode with ideas, because author was so right about Sun Flames. Please read this, Ray, it'll spark ideas, I'm sure.

Alaudidae by AmbroiseFrambroise

As a Quirkless boy, the son of Hibari Hisashi and his wife Inko should be weak, right ?

Wrong. Hibari Kyoya is reborn in a strange world where people are just herbivorious as ever, but with powers. He promply decides to be a hero to be able to legaly beat up strongs opponents and restore Order.

Good Luck, UA and the world. You're going to need it.

!!!!

[jozor-johai]

Re: cycle of violence and red wedding 2.0

I'm partial to the idea that arya will be the one who ends the LSH reign of terror on the riverlands. Do you have any thoughts on this?

This is such a tough question because imo there are so many people for whom killing Stoneheart would be narratively satisfying. I'll give you my thoughts on Arya first but I'll confess in advance that my opinion is 100% biased because I have my own pick for who I'd rather see do it.

The part I very much like about the Arya idea is how the two of them are mirroring each other's quest for vengeance, and how Arya deciding to kill LSH would symbolically mean she's killing the desire for revenge within herself after seeing what a monster that makes someone.

There are parts I don't like about it though. Selfishly, I don't want Arya to see her mother like that. Arya has that heartbreaking line about wondering whether her mother would still love her after what she's done, and I want Arya to remember her mother as Cat, who would love her, and not as LSH, who might be incapable of love. Arya meeting LSH now might affirm Arya's fears: she returns to her mother, and there's only death and the wedge that revenge drove between them. I see the poetry, but... I don't want it for her.

Part of me also thinks: Arya shouldn't quell her quest for revenge by killing something, let alone her mother, even if she is a murder zombie now. I know Arya's being trained as a killer, and I'm sure those are skills that will serve her in the future (else what's the point), but when it comes to her relationship with vengeance, I think that the turning point should be a moment where she recognizes the possibility of hope and rebirth, (the ghost of christmas present) rather than the doom of her future should she continue her quest for vengeance (the ghost of christmas future). Now that I've made the Dickens comparison, though, maybe she does need both.

I wouldn't dislike the story if Arya did it, I think it really works, and I know if GRRM wrote it that way it would work even better than I'm imagining. But

Personally, I'm partial to the idea that it will be Brienne who kills LSH. I like that Brienne is so completely driven right now by her oath to Catelyn; Catelyn took her in and offered her a female role model that Brienne could integrate into her worldview: "You have courage. Not battle courage perhaps but . . . I don't know . . . a kind of woman's courage."

Brienne is so committed to this oath to return Cat's children that she spends the entirety of Feast on a doomed quest to achieve this goal, armed with the sword that was forged from Ned's, named Oathkeeper. But now, to save Jaime, who represents the chance at change, forgiveness, and redemption, (the polar opposites to Stoneheart's absolute vengeance) Brienne will kill her liege, the woman she personally swore her loyalty to in ACOK.

...And so Brienne will mirror Jaime the Kingslayer, the Oathbreaker, and fully understand what that meant, and what that feels like. With Ned's own steel, no less, because Ned would not have wanted what Cat became. (am I going overboard with that?)

I'm not exactly sure how the timing works out, because she can't kill LSH now before Stoneheart & the gang pull off the Red Wedding revenge plot. I have totally bought into the idea that Stoneheart etc. are going to turn Daven's wedding into a massacre, and I also fully expect it to be gruesome and not cathartic. I suspect that Jaime is integral to that plan, somehow, which is how Jaime survives so long and isn't immediately killed, but I don't know how they manage to get Jaime to aid them. He's having a change of heart, sure, but he's not going to roll over and let them kill his family, so maybe they have some more important leverage. Could even be Brienne, if they understand that bond, although I don't know how they would.

The way I see it working is that Jaime somehow abets Stoneheart carrying out the Red Wedding 2.0 plan, even though it costs him so much. Then, Stoneheart and the BWB move to kill Jaime afterward, anyway, despite it all. Then, seeing the horror of what LSH has become and done, Brienne kills LSH.

Then and her and Jaime kiss run away and live happily ever after back to Casterly Rock, just like in the weirwood dream he had.

Kind of a long-winded response, but those are my thoughts on the end of LSH.

[millenniumproductions]

@smolbonbon

My friend, you have opened the floodgates.

Allow me to show you the reasons I enjoy this ship:

-KC had said to Old Moon in a past episode before his redemption that he never saw Sun as a brother, meaning that it wouldn't be considered wrong for the two to be together.

-Both Sun and KC would have been able to help the homeless together, since Sun did cook a lot of food for the homeless once during the "Lunar's FIRST CHRISTMAS in VRCHAT" episode.

-KC is the only Celestial model besides Ruin that isn't considered "toxic" and would have broken that cycle for Sun.

-I am halfway convinced that the cats that Sun has were possibly strays, and it was kind of confirmed that KC had a dog that was a stray as well, so I feel like these two would have also volunteered at animal shelters together as well.

-KC would have been able to help Sun with his mental state considering that he still had most of Old Moon's logic and would have been able to properly comfort him.

Now... How would it have happened?

Here's how (Keep in mind that this would have happened before the second October Takeover):

-Seeing how lonely Sun really was, New Moon would set up a Tinder account for him so he could socialize with people online.

-Sun and KC would both swipe right on each other but Sun would just think he was talking to another person.

-After a few days, the two would decide to go on a date together and meet up somewhere, like a small cafe' or an art museum.

-Sun would be surprised that he matched with KC but wouldn't be bothered by it since it was someone he actually knew instead of a complete stranger.

-They would go on a couple more dates but without the others knowing since Sun wasn't sure how the others would have reacted to the two of them together.

-During the third date, the two would become a couple but still not tell the others until the Ruin situation was taken care of.

-The bomb goes off and Sun and New Moon still disappear, and the whole time they're missing, KC is constantly worried about him.

-The Bloodmoon attack still happens, but KC actually FIGHTS BACK a bit after realizing that Ruin was responsible for possibly killing his love.

-KC still dies but he would have some last words, saying that he was sorry that he couldn't see Sun smile one last time.

-When Sun and New Moon return from Ruin's dimension, cure Ruin, and fix Monty, he hears about KC being dead and goes into another room to cry because god f*cking forbid Sun's allowed to show real negative emotions in front of him.

If you want to hear anymore of my ideas for this ship, throw me a line through my askbox. It's always open.

[west-tokyo-incidents]

Animals I associate the masters with, WITHOUT using animals the douji already have. For no reason other than I wanna have a thought experiment with myself and how I associate shit.

Mizho/michel - separately, and owl and a coyote. As a single entity, badger. American, specifically.

Owl because of cool calmness, silence, deadly observation, and it's association with death in kemetic mythos.

Coyote because of their tenacity and sheer ability to adapt and survive, also they live in monogamous pairs in the wild.

Badger because the American Badger is the second most brutal bastard weasel to exist, second to the Honey Badger. But the Honey Badger is African and doesn't have the right vibes.

Fusataro - Jaguar

Look I listened to Neon Tiger once and it ruined me, but the Tiger belongs to Sophia and Lions don't jive right. Fusataro doesn't strike me as some in-your-face king type, no pride, no big roar, but can definitely kill a black caiman with a single bite to the skull. Also Black Jaguars are just badass and regal and I love them and I love Fusataro.

Kei - Rat!

This is an unsurprising one, but it's for more than just his teeth. He cares about his family, he's skittish, but he's not defenseless. I imagine him as a little bit pack-rat like, hoarding little things that might be useful in the future. Rats are very social animals that get depressed alone and I feel like he's a poor wet rat who's stuck in a cage with an aggressive smaller male(Vice) but he deals with it because the alternative is being alone.

Lady Gekko/Rune - Luna Moth/Praying Mantis

Listen I think my reasons for this are obvious. Luna Moth-Moon-Jealousy it fits. BUT ALSO. Luna Moths, once they mature, find love and then die. Which. Yeah. That tracks. And female Praying Mantises are fucking bad ass bugs with a reputation for killing their mates. I don't think I have to explain more than that.

Hana - Honey Badger

Okay I'm writing out my thoughts process as I decide because usually I associate her with a bear cub but I'm avoiding repeating animals and a bear is Eater's. Maybe a Tasmanian Devil but that feels... Almost too easy, I guess? Or maybe she gets the Honey Badger. Yeeee. Cause maybe as she grows her two big role models are probably Mizho and Akitsu and I can absolutely see her going batshit when she hits their age.

Akira - Show-Line Dog, probably something like a Doberman

This one is kinda rough, because I definitely associate him with a young male lion, one who doesn't have a pride yet but is looking to take one over. BUT... Idk if Orghullo's animal is a lion or a foo dog so I'm playing it safe. He's definitely an intelligent animal, and not a dog who's just for looks. He definitely can use his teeth if he has to.

Sumako - Ferret

Domestic, cute, cuddly, wants to hoard her favorite people to herself. But do not forget she is a carnivore and a weasel and ferrets thrive on a whole-prey diet and watching one devour a frozen-thawed mouse is an experience I'll never forget. I want one so bad.

Kaizo - Wild Boar

And now the hardest part. The good guys......

Changed from Hamster. I don't know why, and yes I realize Gauge's animal is a boar, BUT... when I think animal aus or like the daemon au and stuff I just. Keep coming back to a boar. Something something pigs=greedy animal, wild boar=violent pigs. So. Idk.

Yamato - Golden Retriever

Probably a rescue, especially one with a bad history but still has all the love in the world. I really don't think I have to explain this one.

Sayama - Domestic Cat

Aloof, cute, loving if socialized properly(she was not, her father was Dunstan, but I digress), and cunning.

Matsumoto - Grey Fox

Kia has laid claim on the red fox, but I feel like Matsumoto, especially following her sequence with Jun, is a lot more cunning than she lets on. She's meticulous and careful, though also skittish and would rather run than confront a larger threat.

Hibari - Black Footed Wild Cat

Highest K:D Ratio of any wild cat. Extremely protective of their family. Not to be under estimated for their size. Sharp witted, deadly, and smol.

Akitsu - Maned Wolf

Pretty legs Tall, diligent for danger, not quite as deadly as they seem but still a predator.

Musashi - Donkey/Mule

Yoichi - Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

Changed from moose because. Let's be real, they're not attractive animals and it's hard to take it seriously when I'm trying to write shit.

But he's an ass.

Okay, terrible jokes aside, Donkeys and their ilk are livestock guards against canine predators like coyotes and wolves and they're merciless and stubborn as hell when they have a target. They can be loving and mischievous with their owners.

Listen I'm a dog trainer for a living and there is no animal on this planet that fits this man more than this very specific dog breed. Calm, focused, very smart, literally the perfect first-time-owner dog in my opinion. Easy going, forgiving, would give you the world if they could.

[myemotionalsuppportcatboy]

I got Rise of The Sphinx for Christmas and I’m making it everyone’s problem

This game can be summed up in the two sentences I said when thanking my mom for getting it for me. “This game is atrocious. Thank you so much for buying it for me.”

More thoughts under the cut. There are spoilers.

Another quick review of this game is: buy it if you want, but do not pay full price for it.

The good: I CAN BE MY BLORBOS. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir are playable in every level. You get to explore Paris. You can switch between characters whenever so I had so much fun talking to everyone and then switching who I was to see how the dialogue change. You can upgrade the stats of both LB and CN and learn new skills, which is nice. The plot is actually pretty good. It proves again that Natalie is the brains of this operation. Using Chloe to create akumatizations in others is not new, but it does make sense. The new Chloe akuma design (Clonika) does slay. I get to beat up Hawkmoth. There are cute little character moments. Ladybug and Chat Noir talk throughout the levels and while some of it gets old most of it is cute. DID I MENTION THE BLORBOS?

The bad: It plays like a PS2 game. The models are...questionable. There is a good amount of time spent watching loading screens and things still phase into the levels. I jumped in the wrong spot on the Clonika level and clipped through the level and couldn’t get out so I had to redo the whole thing and I was almost at the end of it. You can’t control the camera and it sucks ass. There were several times I had to do a leap of faith or run ahead without being able to see where I was going. Collecting items and orbs is a big part of the game so it sucks that you can’t freely look around. Some areas of the levels were really laggy. This was worst in boss fights but would also happen sometimes when I was just walking around and I was like, I’m not even doing anything? There was one platform section in the last level with some orbs that I gave up on because my jump was so messed up and I also clipped through and slid off the platform without moving several times. The combat was very lackluster, lots of button mashing and standing around until you could get a hit in on bosses. IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK A SPHINX IS? THAT IS MOTH. SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED RISE OF HAWKMOTH. COME ON. There is a flashback that explains how HM came to be (Natalie and Gabe are stuck on finding the cat and ladybug miraculouses and Gabe decides that using one miraculous might bring out the others), he makes a huge giant sentimonster moth. It sets up Miracle Queen and the big change of status quo that follows. His RISE in power, perhaps.

The meh: There are A LOT of collectibles. Some are right in your path, which is nice for the literal children playing this game. Some require more exploration or replays. It was nice that exploring was rewarded somewhat. Sometimes there would be a little area you could go to and there would be nothing there and I would be like why did you make it so I could go here and then not put anything here? Like this an obvious spot for a collectable and there’s nothing? In general the levels also go between rooftops and the street and it’s not always clear when jumping down is encouraged and when it will kill you. The game is very forgiving of that, though. Each akuma transforms Paris and honestly I really liked some of then new elements that each akuma brought.  It was weird to have such empty levels and not interacting with the akumatized villain until the end in most cases. I really liked seeing the lucky charm each time and how LB and CN used it but it could just be cut scenes without the QTEs. The little comments were cute but did get old. There is one for CN where the subtitle says Woohoo but it’s more like a deranged giggle and it makes me want to come for Bryce Papenbrook’s kneecaps. As for Christina, Mari has one “awesome!” that I found grating. Other than that the voice acting is great!

TL:DR The game is clearly a cash grab made to capitalize on children who will beg for anything with Ladybug and Chat Noir on the packaging and plays like it.  The quality is poor and the game play is simple. However, you do get to be your blorbos, the story is solid, and there are cute character interactions so if that’s what you’re looking for and you have the cash to spare, go for it.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Reasons I - a licensed and practicing social worker at the time - did not go to a shelter when I was homeless:

They would have separated me and my wife because they didn't have unsegregated shelters in the whole county and she was my primary caregiver at the time for a potentially fatal chronic illness

I would have had nowhere for my service dog and cats to go and would have had to surrender them despite loving each dearly and having raised every one from birth (literally the only home they knew) and the trauma that would be caused on all sides by rehoming them

I would not have been able to keep my full time job as count EMS because I worked the night shift and rarely got home before 1am - the latest curfew for any shelter was 9pm

I would not have been able to do drugs in the shelter - including the medical marijauna that was keeping me out of a wheelchair and the recreational marijuana that was keeping me from killing myself

I would have been required to STOP seeing my current therapist (an out of state clinician with an instate license) and START seeing a clinician affiliated with them (aka a clinician FROM THE JOB I WORKED AT WHO WAS LITERALLY MY DIRECT COLLEAGUE AKA PRIVACY WHAT PRIVACY)

I worked for county EMS, including in housing coordination, and so I knew for 100% certain that every shelter in the state was at full capacity with zero beds, and had been for over six months straight so there literally WAS NO SHELTER TO GO TO which wouldn't stop them from documenting me as "refusing shelter" when I explained this as the reason why I did not want to be referred

People are not irrational, no matter how many mitigating circumstances (they're crazy! They're addicts! They're narcissists! They're [insert whatever term we've decided to classify "not human enough to be worth understanding" as]!) People will do the things that make sense to keep themselves alive. And that often will not look as you expect it to because YOU ARE NOT THEM and the things you each take into consideration and how you decide on actions looks different! Inherently!

If someone is refusing shelter to "do drugs" I guarantee you, that is because when you do drugs (yes including the "bad" ones) it is EXTREMELY dangerous physically, mentally, emotionally, etc to just. Stop. You can't usually do that. In some cases (like alcohol) doing so may literally directly kill you via withdrawal symptoms. In others, the harm it does may be the fallout of no longer meeting the need it met, and that can still be anywhere from unpleasant to nightmareish to deadly.

Rather than ask why someone would refuse shelter to do drugs (puts the burden of the shelter refusal on the individual despite them having zero autonomy in the process outside of doing a thing that may or may not kill them), ask why we would refuse anyone shelter as a PUNISHMENT for addiction (places the burden on the shelter who made and maintain the policy of refusing services to addicts not in abstinence phase, and who by law have access to all the research and knowledge that confirms this to be an outright deadly and ineffective model of housing aid OR addiction abstinence phase cultivation, let alone actual healthy coping with or without substances and other tools)

That is where the burden of the alienation from services lies after all. Objectively. So why do we blame humans for responding to the policy the way humans do? Making a rational decision based on what they know of how to survive. Even if you don't think it would be your decision.

Anytime you find yourself asserting that someone is "acting against their best interests" I strongly recommend asking if that's really true, or if they're acting against what YOU have decided are their "best interests" without asking them?

I'm not saying that someone with different ideas of their own "best interest" from you is inherently right about that or how they act on it! Obviously there are times when we all internalize something as "in our best interest" when it isn't. But the fact that we have done that still matters. In how we talk to each other. In how we understand each other's decisions and actions. In preserving autonomy while maintaining space for protection of infringement on rights by one party against another. You'll miss a LOT about how to coexist with other humans safely and comfortably if you write them off as irrational because they came to a different conclusion than you in similar circumstances.

Also, like, I'm sorry but if you've set up a free shelter, and people refuse to go because sleeping on the sidewalk under a freeway bridge is more pleasant, that's fucking on you, that's not on them.

You really can't compete with sleeping under the overpass so you are going to force people into shelter?

Unspeakably cruel and stupid.

[in-my-loki-feels]

I don't know if I'm ready to face the pain again but I have the chance to watch the Loki finale on a big TV in an empty house (previously watched on my computer) so I have to take it. Got my tissues and emotional support cats ready.

ETA: Kind of turned into a liveblog so my thoughts as I watched are under the cut.

The little firework sounds as both the model and actual throughput multiplier fire are great.

Mobius' little fight or flight crouch as the loom explodes. Why is he so adorable?

Tom is such an incredible actor in this scene with Sylvie. The emotion he packs into his words hits you right in the guy. "I know it." His weariness.

Kang using a TemPad to stop Sylvie vs Loki using his powers. I think we know who the superior one is here.

"It destroyed the TVA" followed by KangL "no biggie, easy to rebuild" hearkens back to Loki's "easy to burn it down" lines.

When Loki says "I understand" after Kang says "every moment of peach is because I was hear alone." 😭 I think he knows then what he'll have to do but he's not ready to accept it.

It still gets me that Loki says "I need your help" and Mobius is immediately ready to hear him out.

How do you think Loki feels, knowing Mobius' has kids on the Sacred Timeline, hearing Mobius explain he couldn't prune a kid. It's killing me.

Oh God, he's starting to accept what he knows needs to be done.

(my cat is snoring next to me, which is bringing some lightness to my despair)

Here we go.

I won't be able to see anything through these tears. Good thing I've seen this once already.

One last look back. HEART-BREAKING.

You know what, I didn't like this outfit originally but it's a simple outfit, not glittery or grand, and I think that's the point.

Honestly if they'd stopped here, with the throne, I'd have been okay. It's the fucking "After". As much as I love seeing B-15 and the crew.

Ooo, just noticed the rock/Kang's citadel continuing to break up under Loki's throne.

God, Mobius' sounds choked up when he says "Funny you should mention that."

Hunter D-90 lives!

Can't decide if this last shot of Ravonna is to show she's fierce in the face of her death, or that she's still around and could appear in the future.

"See you around." So Sylvie thinks they'll meet again!! (let me cling to hope)😭

No words for these final shots. They fuck me up so bad.

[morningstar-warriors]

Game Three

This game was in person! Wahoo!!! Everyone was able to attend which was fabulous, and the game went on for hours. Honestly I was surprised everyone wanted to play for nearly 7 hours. I bought mini toy cats for the game, and plan to paint (and maybe sculpt and add clay) the critters to look like their kitties.

A New Addition

Leaf was finally able to play, their kitty Dustclover. She was crafted fast with no trouble. My other players were able to assist Leaf in quickly making a new cat sheet by hand. I’ll give the game system this, the character sheets are very simple to recreate. There was a confusion with knacks, no surprise considering they’re a little confusing, but otherwise there were no issues.

Dustclover | She/Her | XX Moons

Dustclover is deputy of Fern clan. After asking Blue who she would have as deputy (a player or an npc) she settled on Dustclover. The joke being everyone else in the clan keeps getting high, but Darkstar is sober and Dustclover “can’t do that stuff.” I’m guessing alluding to it making her feel sick or paranoid.

Game Tweaks

One of the things I wish this book had— ENEMIES! Trying to fight in this game is a bit confusing and requires some tweakage. If you stumble across this I suggest you proceed to change and adjust to your liking, but this is what I have so far.

Combat:

Players can use skills or knacks to attack an opponent. For this I have them roll 3d6 (suggested for every roll in the book.) Aside from knacks, which are automatic actions that cost chips.

If they land an attack, I tell them to roll a 1d4 for damage. I’ve decided that bites are 2d4 and certain other buffs give 2d4 damage as well. (these will be brought up later in story.)

This is still very much in the trial stage… I’m not certain if it works as I’ve noticed my players can TEAR an enemy to shreds fast. Especially if I’m trying to make it something tough, like a badger. I planned on implementing AC, which has only just been introduced as a concept to the characters and my players. So I have yet to play with it.

Armor Class Ideas:

I’m thinking general enemies should have a passive AC. A no brainer now, but in the moment I really wasn’t certain how to go about enemy difficulty. In the source book I’m referencing, they have difficulty when it comes to prey hunting— which is nice but, has rarely ever come up in my games. I’ve decided to sorta use it as an outline when it comes to enemies.

(page 13.)

Tangent about the hunting mechanics:

It almost feels too fleshed out. Like the amount of steps would have me state “roll, roll, roll, roll” and you need a balance between dice and rp for pete’s sake. Hunting feels like money in D&D. Either care about it or don’t at all. Hunting feels almost like something that should be an implied rp moment. I say this because when attempting to hunt using these rules, it felt so fucking monotonous. Especially if my player misses or spooks the prey. It should be just a pounce or jump check I’m thinking. This game is quite simple, I think it’s simplicity should be embraced a little, but to each their own.

Using this model I do have a good outline set up for an enemy! If a player chooses to sneak, sniff or listen, attack, ect— this level of detail makes sense and can be accounted for. I’m going to replace the kill check with HP, and replace the grab check with AC.

I think a good AC for cats would be 11. A nice run the mill average number. I’ve kinda consistently made non-armored cats have no AC so I’ll stick to my guns there but I suggest changing that honestly.

tbd:

Thorn Armor — 11 AC (maybe add a check to see if the attacker is stung?)

Clay Armor — 12 AC

Bone Armor — 13 AC

Perhaps it’d be interesting to apply mechanics involving armor damage, since the armor is all relatively breakable. Bone Armor obviously being the toughest to destroy…

[the-slasher-madame]

If you're still doing requests: What if the slashers had a S/O who could control animals? (Straight up, this mf could make a group of rats conga line with a few hand movements, lol) Bonus points: Maybe this ability was the reason the slashers didn't kill them initially? (I love your headcanons so far, btw! Especially the geese one, lol I hope you have a lovely day/night!)

HEEHEHEHEHEHEHE I LOVE IT!!!!! Animals r so cool lol. I'm remember Ratcatcher II from The Suicide Squad and I am loving it. For some reason I'm reminded of a story where this one girl did like freeform taxidermy?? Only tenuously connected, but hey my brain is missing a few washers. I'm glad you like the geese!!!! I love geese so, so much. I see them at school and its all heart eyes.

CWs: mentions of violence (it's slashers y'all, they go stab and we go "yes king <3", cursing (think y'all are used to that by now lol), let me know if I missed anything!!!

Vincent Sinclair: I genuinely think this boy is very soft. I firmly believe he loves animals and the soft side of life, so he would love that you have such a connection with animals. I think he'd worry about if the animals are ok when all this happens, but he thinks its so cool. I think he'd beg you to bring animals around so he could pet them and sketch them with a proper model.

I think, in Ambrose, the most likely animals on hand would be squirrels, rabbits, and snakes, none of which he's noticed behave the way they do when you're summoning them for protection. You just make a solid line of defense, and he knows better than to fuck with snakes, so he just stops and waits for Bo. Bo is terrified and probably thinks you're Satan, but Vinny is gonna be absolutely fascinated. He begs Bo to keep you around, and Bo was a little too scared to deny it. Would make sure to get you anything you need if it tires you out and would have food and water on hand for the animals. Jonesy is off-limits, unless she's run off and they can't find her (I feel like you can kinda sense the animals around you??).

Bo Sinclair: I just have a gut feeling that this boy is terrified of supernatural shit, at least if you use that supernatural shit against him lol. He loves asking you to do stuff like this as a party trick. Wants to use you to help when hunting (animals), but would also test to see if you can control humans. I think also in softer moments he would love interacting with animals he usually doesn't get to see up close. And, if he pisses you off, I think you could use the woodland critters to your advantage. . . thefUCK DID THESE SQUIRRELS COME FROM--

Would feel the same way about you controlling Jonesy, using it only if she's lost and possibly in danger (but he's also the type to say "she can handle herself" so he'd wait a little bit). Did not appreciate being attacked by the small creatures when he tried to catch you, but he had his shotgun and you cared for the animals and were getting tired. It was quite the stalemate, and quite the compromise. Would every once in a while ask you to bring animals around for Lester to play with, or for Vinny to use as models, or even for Jonesy to play with. He's a family man, what can I say

Michael Myers (RZ): as per usual, stoic and seems uncaring. He isn't the most gentle person ever (he was raised in an asylum by a fucked up doctor-I'll talk about him later, but he's gonna handle animals like a small child). Rough but trying his best, doesn't mean to hurt them. I think using animals would be a good therapy technique, give him something to learn how to be soft with. Starts to love when you bring animals around, and learns to be gentle. Back to the beginning though: like a cat, rather predictably. Sometimes glares at the animals, especially if they decide he is the new mama. I think he would hiss, but he doesn't talk so he just glowers until the animal wonders away (but their insistence starts to warm his heart).

I think birds would be what save you from Mikey. He's marching after you in the dark nature-y parts of Haddonfield, and you summon birds to swarm him. I don't think he'd really react much to the pecking and scratching, might be more sensitive to the noise, but is overall just curious. Like "well this is new." (I think creativity and novelty is like the key way to get him to spare you). He likes to study, and would absolutely observe your power. Y'all stare at each other while you catch your breathe and the birds swarm the Boogeyman, and eventually he turns and walks off. You start catching sight of him following you, eventually, but he never made a move to harm you so you let it be. Eventually becomes very soft with the animals and loves feeling how soft they are, feeling their warmth and feeling them breathe while they lay next to you on his chest.

Thomas Hewitt: I’m sorry y’all, I’m just convinced that this family is terrified of the supernatural. With every superpower, Thomas is a little freaked, Luda Mae is looking for holy water, Hoyt is convinced the devil has finally come for him (he should be worried more about me), and Monty is laughing at Hoyt. However, I think this power would be one that wouldn’t freak them out as much. Like gee animals?? Hoyt and Monty particularly are gonna think you’re harmless, and Luda is going to be a little hesitant around you but overall think you won’t hurt anyone, and Thomas is gonna be so soft. He thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. Like awwww you’re animal themed 🥺🥺 They’d definitely make you take care of rats and maybe get the animals (if they have any on their farm??) to come to slaughter easier. Thomas wouldn’t like that idea, he wants to keep you protected from all the violent shit, and Hoyt would be pissed if you refused. Will start being an ass and Thomas starts to glare at him... and you call on the rabbits and birds. Hoyt never yells at you again. Ever. 

I think more small woodland critters would be the most readily accessible. Rabbits, squirrels, birds (can y’all tell I like birds yet lol?). Rats, you’re going to find rats in the basement ad get them to chew through your bindings. When Tommy comes back and finds you free, terrified, and surrounded by rats, he’s going to go get the rest of the family and let you live. I another one that loves loves loves getting to interact with animals up close. Loves petting rabbit (I also love rabbits). Loves the birds landing on his finger like a Disney princess. Feels bad when he has to butcher pigs, and keeps you away from the family cannibal business at all costs. Understands that you’re connected to animals and doubts its any easier when its you know...humans. Mesmerized by you, your powers, and your looks

Brahms Heelshire: he’s a bit conflicted. One one hand, this boy was undoubtably a bookworm, I mean what else could he do while being exiled to the walls?? Anyways, he feels like you’re a character from his childhood books and it makes him love you even more, already associating you with pleasant memories. On the other hand, what the fuck people aren’t supposed to do that????? I think he learns about your power while he’s still in the walls, and he gets over it pretty quickly seeing how careful you are with the doll and other critters you find around the mansion. You refuse to use the rat traps and at first he’s a little annoyed, but then he sees your power and starts to understand why. I think when y’all finally do meet, he’s trying to be as non-threatening as possible and you have gathered an army of rats. He doesn’t move toward you, just starts talking softly and trying to explain who he is. You’d eventually have to ask him to repeat it all cause you were busy trying to not have a heart attack and a stroke at once. Y’all manage to come to an understanding. 

While out of the walls, he will pester you with as many questions as he can get out of his mouth. He’s a curious boy, what can I say? I think, like Mikey, he would be a little rough on the animals first before learning to properly handle them. For the love of every god, please use the animals like therapy animals. He can play and pet with them while also learning to confront the trauma of his bullshit parents. I think he would really like rabbits, cause he has the childlike center, and could learn to be decently ok with the rats but I don’t think he will touch them. When deer wander through, he gets super excited. I think he would warm up to a cat or a dog in the house. WAIT NO HE’D MAKE A DOLL OF THE PET TO MATCH HIS DOLL AWWWWWWW!!! Would also probably make woodland dolls. He’d be happy that his doll isn’t lonely anymore :D

Alright, I’ve got the first 5. Let me know if y’all want more!!! I love fluff like this its so cuteeee And n case it wasn’t obvious, I really like birds and rabbits (my favorite plushies are rabbis :3). I can’t tell y’all how honored I feel to be getting requests and follows and just I’m soft 🥺. I’ve never been real popular or had like a solid community of my own so this is all really special to me, and I will be thanking y’all as often as possible <33333

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Date With The Brothers Goes Terribly… Then it Starts to Rain.

Side Characters ver.

Hello my dearest degenerates, there’s nothing I love more than ridiculous crack fics, but I wanted to do some fluff, so here we go!

Lucifer

This just had to happen on Lucifer’s one day off… didn’t it? He had the entire day planned out, his brothers would be out doing their own thing, which left him and MC to have the entire day together.

The two of them would have gone to Ristorante 6, watched a movie, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. But no, Lucifer can’t have nice things.

It certainly started off that way, MC and Lucifer held hands as they made their way over to Ristorante 6, and the Avatar of Pride was reminded for the thousandth time exactly why he adored this human so much.

The human was both one of the most stress inducing parts of his life, and one of the few things that made him feel completely at peace. He would move mountains for them if they asked him too…

While Lucifer was in the middle of staring incredibly lovingly at his beloved MC, the human stopped suddenly and pointed ahead of them.

“I think Ristorante 6 may be… closed today.” “What do you mean, MC- oh.”

Apparently, two demons got into a very nasty fight inside, and one slammed the other through a wall. The restaurant was in the middle of scheduling repairs and would be closed until the hole in the wall was fixed. Lucifer developed the tiniest of tics in his right eye, but all MC had to do was squeeze his hand and give him that perfect smile of theirs… *sigh* they were right… there were other good places to eat.

Well, the cafe they wanted to go to was closed that day and they both walked over there for nothing… the second restaurant they went to was full on account of Ristorante 6 closing earlier…

Finally, the two practically trudged to Hell’s Kitchen, but Beel was there an hour earlier and cleared the entire place out…

Lucifer told MC not to fret, they’d just head to the movies and buy some snacks, sure it wasn’t the fancy dinner they planned but… at least it was food.

Oh… the movie they planned on seeing was… not running that night…

“Did you check online before we left?” “…damn.”

Their date was going decidedly terrible, MC and Lucifer were eating movie theatre popcorn outside, in outfits that were way too formal, and were rapidly becoming more and more convinced that the day was just… cursed.

Then… a crack of lightning, then it began to completely pour.

Lucifer winced the moment he heard the lightning, of course… of course it would start to rain… as the rain began to pour down on the two, he simply stared straight ahead, completely and utterly defeated.

The Morning Star, the right hand to the Crown Prince of The Devildom, The Avatar of Pride himself, was defeated by a simple thunderstorm. He took a deep breath in, prepared to shout, scream, throw a tantrum of the highest degree, then just visibly deflated. He turned to MC, who looked just as defeated and drained.

Lucifer wordlessly used his magic to put up a small shield above them, sheltering the two from the torrential downpour.

“You know,” MC mumbled, resting their head against Lucifer’s arm. “The movies make getting caught in the rain seem much more romantic…”

That comment elicited a quiet chuckle from Lucifer as he pulled MC into a hug. The two were already drenched, what did it matter if Lucifer got cheap popcorn butter all over the front of his outfit? Nothing else mattered when he was with the one person in the world who could make his heart swell with this much love and adoration.

“How about we head home, MC? I think I still have some of Barbatos’ cake hidden in the kitchen, we can enjoy that and listen to some music.”

Lucifer felt MC sigh against his front, then look up with that bright sparkling smile that never failed to make him blush.

“I’d like nothing more.”

Mammon

Okay, Mammon had this whole day planned, by the end of it, his human would be swooning! He had gotten paid big bucks from his latest modelling gigs, and he was going to treat MC to a full day with their first man.

First, they were going to spend the morning shopping, then they were going to eat lunch at this new restaurant that had just opened up, after lunch they were going to just kill time until dinner, then eat dinner at Hell’s Kitchen, then they were going to go home, get changed, then head out to The Fall, party, then head home again where MC would most definitely shower the Great Mammon with all the praise and affection he deserved!

Of course, MC would be given all the love and adoration they deserved and more! Mammon’s human was the best, and they deserved the best! The Avatar of Greed was ready!

Or so he thought. The day began with Mammon deciding that he was going to make himself and MC breakfast. It was going fine until Mammon got lost in an intense daydream and by the time he snapped out of it, Beel had eaten the pancake batter and there was no time to make anything else.

Mammon’s surprise breakfast ended up being toast and cut up fruit. It wasn’t so bad, but everyone knows that fruit is very unreliable. Sometimes it’s good… sometimes it’s squishy and unappetizing…

The morning shopping trip was ruined when Mammon went to withdraw money from his account and it turned out that the money from his shoot wasn’t in the account.

Apparently his paycheque was being held back because one of the modelling agencies was being sued.

“…MC?” “Come here, silly.”

After having his face peppered with kisses, Mammon was completely rejuvenated. His human had magic kisses, after all! They never failed to make him feel better!

The two decided that instead of a shopping spree they’d spend a couple hours of window shopping, after that when the two stopped for lunch at the new restaurant. Twenty minutes after eating there, Mammon was dry heaving over a trashcan while MC chugged a bottle of water to try and settle the awful nausea that had completely taken over. Perhaps a bad review would be necessary…

The time that was meant to be spent just wandering around the Devildom was completely ruined when those damn witches showed up! Mammon was not about to forfeit his time with MC to play servant to those three, so he grabbed his human and sprinted away.

That cat and mouse game with the witches lasted for literal hours and ended with Mammon and MC hiding behind a random alley dumpster…

Finally, Hell’s Kitchen, it turned out that they didn’t take too kindly to dine and dashers, so Mammon ended up spending the time he was supposed to be spending eating with MC waiting tables to pay off his tab.

After that, Mammon was too exhausted to even think about partying, so MC suggested that they just head home and watch some fun action movies.

The moment they began their walk home however…

A single drop of water tapped against Mammon’s sunglasses, he looked up and pointed a finger at the sky.

“No.”

Another drop of water hit the rim of his sunglasses.

“No!”

I’m a matter of seconds, it had begun to completely pour, Mammon dug his hands into his hair and shouted in frustration.

“NO! NO! NO! WHY RIGHT NOW?! Why… why right now..?” His outburst had quickly petered out into Mammon physically drooping and quietly taking off his jacket. He held it over MC so they would be spared the brunt of the rain and looked down at his now soaked shoes. “I… I’m sorry… MC…”

“Mammon, what are you sorry for?” MC said gently, lacing their fingers with his.

What kind of a question was that? Mammon had fucked up the date he had planned and made himself look like a complete idiot in front of the one person who showed him any amount of love and affection.

His heart sank as he managed to drag his gaze over to MC. They were worried about an idiot like him… maybe they’d be better off without needing to constantly babysit him…

“Today… everything… I dunno…” Mammon mumbled, MC looped their arms around him, being careful not to drop his jacket onto the wet ground.

“Are you kidding? You planned this entire nice day for the two of us,” when Mammon didn’t respond, MC took on a more firm tone. “Listen, sometimes dates don’t turn out good, that doesn’t mean you have to mope in the rain. Let’s go home, order some food, and watch a movie or some dumb show, whatever makes you happy.”

Though the constant patter of the rain made it difficult to hear, Mammon sniffled and finally returned the hug. His human really was the best.

“You’re too nice to me… ya know that?” Mammon whispered.

MC pressed a soft kiss to his lips and smiled. “Get used to it, because I don’t plan on stopping.”

Leviathan

Levi had to psyche himself up for months in order to do this… he had seen and swooned over cliche TV show dates thousands of times and now, he wanted to take MC on one.

Simply asking them was a Herculean task all on its own… Levi tried to kabedon them, and failed miserably and ended up head butting MC by accident. The Avatar of Envy could have shrivelled up and died of embarrassment right then and there, but MC let out the sweet laugh that never failed to make Levi’s heart swell. They accepted the date request.

When the day came, the two left the HOL, and Levi began his checklist of things that needed to happen to make this a perfect date. First! Dinner!

Dinner… did not pan out well to say the least. The place they had decided to go to was incredibly crowded and the two of them got seated in just the worst spot. They ended up needing to end their meal early and eat outside because Levi was getting hit with a bad case of sensory overload.

Eating outside wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the fact that it was cold and windy as hell… Levi was cold blooded… not figuratively, but mostly literally, he did not do well in overly cold environments. He ended up cuddling closer to MC, which would have been really romantic if he hadn’t accidentally spilled their drink all over them.

Okay… that didn’t turn out good… well, after dinner they were supposed to go do some karaoke! Levi loved karaoke! He could sing something cute and sappy for MC, that was a romance staple!

And the karaoke place was closed for renovations… ugh…

Levi wanted to just go home and abandon the whole date idea, but MC looped their arm around him and pulled him away from the closed karaoke place.

“Remember the arcade we went to a few months ago? I saw it on the way here, let’s go there instead.” “Are you sure you want to keep this date with me going..?” “Positive.”

The arcade was fun until Levi spotted the DDR (Devil Dance Revolution) game that he and MC got the high score on last time. Levi wanted to see what other noobs had tried and failed to beat him and MC.

It turned out… someone beat them…

It seemed like Baphomet and Azazel made a good DDR team because they had managed to knock Levi and MC down to second place by a lot, that wasn’t all, apparently someone was salty after not getting past Levi and MC and put “are dumb” under their names!

Levi was practically frothing at the mouth when he pulled MC to the DDR machine to restore their lost honour. They… did not restore their lost honour. Levi ended up getting so upset he tried to unplug the machine, which somehow ended up permanently freezing the high scores onto the screen. It seemed that the entire Devildom would know that Baphomet and Azazel were better than Levi and MC, and that they were both dumb…

There was still one more thing Levi had planned on doing during his date with MC, he wanted to take them to a cherry blossom tree and suavely kiss them under it. Sadly, there were no cherry blossom trees in the Devildom, but there was a pretty decent substitute that was in bloom during that time of year. Levi and MC made their way to a spot where Levi knew there was a tree, and stood under it.

That was when Levi suddenly realized he had no clue how to be suave and began to stutter-spiral. MC patiently waited for Levi to properly articulate what he wanted to say, when they spotted a unicorn in the distance! MC excitedly pointed it out to Levi, who immediately went pale. Apparently Devildom unicorns are very territorial and very aggressive. They are Satan’s familiar for a reason…

Booking it from a unicorn was not how Levi wanted to end the date… it really wasn’t… but the final straw that broke the camel’s back had arrived in the form of a single raindrop. Then another… then another…

“Levi, please get out of the pond…”

“Leave me, find someone better.”

After the rain had started, Levi had taken off his jacket, handed it to MC, then proceeded to float face down in full demon form in the middle of a pond. The Avatar of Envy was so tired and embarrassed that he just wanted the pond to consume him.

“Levi,” MC tutted. “You’re going to get struck by lightning.”

“Good.”

“Leviathan!”

MC’s sudden shout caused Levi to flail in the water for a brief moment before he was able to use his tail to stabilize himself as managed to tread water.

“Get out of the pond right now! The Lord of Shadows would never abandon Henry like this!”

“The Lord of Shadows is cool, I’m not…” Levi crossed his arms and sunk ever so slightly deeper into the water.

“What the hell are you talking about?” MC asked. “Did we watch the same show? The Lord of Shadows is a huge dork, like you, now get out of the pond so we can go home and not get struck by lightning.”

Defeated by the power of friendship/love/fandom brotherhood, Levi made his way back to shore and was given a quick whack to the back of the head.

“Ow!”

“That’s for being a sulky dummy!” MC then yanked Levi forward by the front of his shirt and kissed him. Levi nearly gasped and began to fanboy right then and there in the middle of the kiss. A rain kiss! A dramatic kiss in the rain! That was one of the best tropes ever! “And that, was for trying to take me on a sweet date.”

“M-marry me…” Levi whispered before he could stop himself. MC giggled and patted one of his now bright red cheeks.

“Maybe someday.”

Satan

Going on fun spontaneous dates really wasn’t Satan’s forte, he preferred a schedule, but both he and MC had the afternoon free and Satan didn’t feel like bumming around at home when the two of them could do that any other day.

Oh-so charmingly taking his beloved MC by the hand and leading them to the nearest cat-cafe was the first thing Satan could think to do. He loves cats, he loves MC, what could possibly ruin a nice afternoon with both?

When the two reached the cafe, they were met with an employee closing the place early, claiming that all the cats had actually gotten adopted and they were waiting for more rescues to come in.

Satan couldn’t decide whether to be upset about the lack of cats, or happy that the cats got adopted into loving homes like they deserved. Satan settled on being aggressively happy.

It was no big deal, there were other things they could do together, like go to a library, or bookstore, or a museum, the possibilities were endless!

Well, it would have been endless if it wasn’t for the world conspiring to make Satan loose his cool. First, the line for his favourite book store was looped around the block because of a new book release. Inconveniencing, sure, but nothing too awful, there was a nice park nearby, the two decided to relax on one of the benches.

Problem number two arose when some idiot threw a Fangol ball a little too far and it ended up hitting Satan, then bouncing off his head and hitting the tree that the bench was under, normally, this would be rude and annoying but nothing that would activate Satan’s volcanic temper, except for the tiny issue that there was a wasp nest in that tree that decided Satan’s drink was enemy #1.

After being stung approximately eight times in the hand, Satan wasn’t doing too good, MC could tell and offered to go to the doctor’s with him. As Satan led them out of the park and towards the sidewalk he assured MC that there was nothing to worry about…

But MC, holder of Satan’s heart, went to go get him ice anyway.

The third and final thing to make Satan blow his top, the rain… the cold… depressing… rain…

“Oh…” MC mumbled as they looked up at the rain, then at Satan, whose hands were balled into fists so tight that his palms began to bleed. “Satan are you-”

Completely silent, Satan strode toward a nearby dumpster and slammed his foot into the metal, sending the entire thing into the back of the dead-end alley. The entire dumpster practically compressed and folded in on itself from the sheer force of the kick.

“Do you want to go home?” MC asked gently, taking a few steps towards him, Satan slowly nodded.

“Y-yes. I think that’d be the smart thing to do.” Satan massaged his forehead and took the ice from MC. “It seems that spontaneity isn’t our strong suit as a couple.”

MC sighed and nodded. “Yeah, we should go back to planning this stuff beforehand, and… you know,” They gestured around the two of them. “check what’s open and what the weather’s going to be before we head out.”

Only MC could soothe Satan’s temper as quickly as it flared up, and MC was getting covered with rainwater. That just wouldn’t do. He turned to MC and offered them his jacket. “I don’t want you to get cold.”

“Isn’t your line supposed to be ‘here, take this, you might catch a cold’?” MC lightly teased as they took the jacket. “Like a classic romantic lead?”

Satan shook his head and laughed softly. “No, that’s a common misconception. You can’t actually get the common cold or flu from being out in the rain. The real danger is hypothermia or frostbite.”

“Ah,” MC looped their arm around Satan’s and held his non swollen hand. “So smart, tell me more about the dangers of hypothermia.”

“Don’t tease, dearest, or I’ll take back my jacket.”

Asmodeus

Asmo had just the most stressful day… and decided that he and his sweet MC just had to go on a nice date together to fix it!

Most dates with Asmo had a sort of three act structure, first they would coordinate their outfits together for the actual date activity, then they’d do whatever they set out to do, then they’d go home and either snuggle, or do the Devil’s tango, whichever MC was feeling up for.

But on this particular day, the three act structure was being ruined. It started with the outfit coordination, somehow everything Asmo had that would match with what MC was wearing was in the laundry, he had to be convinced by MC that this wasn’t that big of a deal and the two of them would look radiant whether they matched or not.

Since that was settled, Asmo and MC made their way to Asmo’s all time favourite spa, which was not closed, no no no, it was actively on fire.

“How… how did this happen?” “Well, there were a lot of candles burning in that place, I guess we’ll just have to save the spa trip for another date.”

Everyone was fine by the way

Oh well, it would take more than a raging inferno to ruin Asmo’s date, he was determined to have a good time, so he cheerily took MC’s hand and led them away from the fire. He also casually mentioned that being so close to danger was a total turn-on.

MC very quickly ended that comment with a kiss, Asmo can’t make inappropriate sex jokes when he’s kissing his favourite person. It was truly a testament to his complete and utter adoration of MC that Asmo was willing to share the top spot of his list of favourite people with them!

While on their merry way to find something else to do, Asmo’s fan club caught wind that he and MC were on a date and decided to make their appearance. Now Asmo’s groupies are normally very sweet, but they can also be incredibly unaware of boundaries.

Everywhere Asmo and MC looked, one or two of Asmo’s fans would be half hiding and half spying on how the date was going. It was common knowledge that Asmo x MC was the OTP of the entire club, and some of the members wanted to get a peak of their ship doing something romantic.

As much as Asmo loved attention, it was getting kind of… creepy. He began to usher MC away from certain areas and tried to find a suitably nice place to get away from prying eyes.

The pair ended up in this absolutely gorgeous public garden that was thankfully quite empty. Though, all it took was one awkward step with the kind of shoes he was wearing and Asmo fell straight into a rose bush.

MC had to quickly get to work kissing Asmo’s cut up face better before he started to cry and ruined his mascara. What was even worse was that the fall messed up Asmo’s shoe and he’d have to walk back to the house like an uncoordinated baby deer.

Everything was fine… just fine… no need to worry… everything was… cloudy…

The moment the first drop of rain landed in front of Asmo he stood completely stiff and still.

“Don’t.” He growled. “I just got my hair fixed.”

The rain didn’t listen, and began pouring down, absolutely drenching Asmo and MC in a matter of minutes. MC tried to pull Asmo towards an alcove or a covered patio so they could call a cab home, but the Avatar of Lust refused to move. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, smiled serenely to himself, then looked back up to the sky and screamed with the hatred of a thousand suns:

“FUCK YOU TOO FATHER!”

It was quite a scene for MC to witness, Asmo rarely fully lost his cool, especially not enough to swear like an ‘uncouth barbarian’, combine that with his running mascara, scratched up face, and dirty clothes, he looked more like a feral movie star that was just rescued from the woods than the solid ten out of ten MC normally knew him as.

“Momo?” MC gently patted his back. “Come on, we should go home.”

Asmo finally turned to look at his sweet MC, the poor thing shouldn’t have seen him act like this… the day had gone completely horribly and he just had to drag MC into this, didn’t he? He felt his heart drop right into his gut as he practically collapsed into his human’s arms.

“Oh MC, I’m so sorry I dragged you out today… we should have just stayed home…”

“Asmo,” MC weighed their options, before settling on just rubbing his back. “There there.”

The awkward sniffling and snorting continued for the next couple of minutes while MC called a ride service to come pick the two of them up.

“Thank you, MC,” Asmo sniffled. “You’re the sweetest thing in the universe…”

“You’re sweet too, Asmo. It’s a shame today didn’t work out.”

“Mhm…”

“We can still save this date, you know? When we get back home we can take a bath and snuggle.”

“That…” Asmo sniffed. “That sounds really nice, MC.”

“Anytime spent with you is nice, Asmo.” MC then rolled their eyes while Asmo giggled. “Man that was corny…”

Beelzebub

Beel had come back from one hell of a Fangol game, and he was in an amazing mood! He wanted to take MC out to celebrate!

Between-meal snacks were packed, and they set off to the carnival. Nothing could beat the nice smell of fried dough, Carmel apples, popcorn, and spending time with MC.

Of course, the food wasn’t the only thing Beel wanted to enjoy with MC, there were rides and games to try while they enjoyed their snacks. First they made their way to the teacup ride.

In theory, having big strong Beel to spin the big wheel in the middle to make the teacup move would be a good thing, but even though it was the first ride, MC had eaten quite a lot of carnival snacks.

Beel only had to spin the centre disc once for the disc to both break and make the teacup to whirl around at a speed that practically threw them into Beel’s side. MC then… well… vomited. Everywhere.

Since Beel accidentally ripped the centre disc off, he couldn’t slow the teacup down manually to stop the puke-tornado, so it took a little while before the ride operator realized that something was wrong and stopped the ride.

The walk off the ride was both embarrassing and completely nauseating, MC needed to stumble to the nearest trashcan and hurl. Beel did his best to comfort his poor human and mumbled quite a lot of apologies.

“I’m sorry MC…” “Beel, it’s okay… I’d uh, kiss you but the… vomit.”

Both Beel and MC decreed that maybe rides weren’t the best idea after that, and went over to check out the carnival games.

After a few unsuccessful tries at a few games, a plushie caught MC’s eye and they were absolutely smitten with it. Beel vowed to win it for them, and lined himself up to try the pitching game.

Well, something good came out of that… Beel threw so fast it may have broken a record, the bad thing was that the ball tore through the tent and caused the whole thing to collapse.

The tent then caught fire after landing on some of the candles that were set up… the plushie went up in flames…

Beel turned to MC, who wordlessly patted him on the back. At… at least they still had their snacks…

As Beel and MC made their way to the exit, a group of kids rushed past the pair, Beel, not wanting to step on or bump into any of them, awkwardly wobbled, then fell and dropped all of his emergency snacks.

And then came the rain…

“Oh…” Beel mumbled as he stared down his spilled food, MC quickly wrapped their arms around him, looking up at him with a half-hearted smile.

“We can buy some more, or wait until we get home, it’s okay, Beel.”

The Avatar of Gluttony slowly nodded, tearing his gaze away from the wasted snacks. Thunder sounded above the two and the cold rain began to beat against them.

When Beel looked down at MC, he felt his heart flutter in his chest, they weren’t upset at him, they weren’t angry… they just wanted to make him feel better… Beel nodded resolutely to himself, he was going to make MC feel better too! He picked MC up bridal-style and began to walk away from the rapidly emptying carnival.

“B-Beel?” MC sputtered.

“Let’s go home, MC, I have cookies hidden in one of the cabinets that we can share.”

MC looked up at their sweet cinnamon roll, then buried their face in his chest. Their shoulders shook slightly as they looped their arms around Beel’s neck.

“M-MC?” Beel asked, he tried to shift MC in his arms to see if they were crying, but MC looked up at him with a sweet smile.

“You’re just the best, Beel. Never forget that.”

Belphegor

The Avatar of Sloth doesn’t exactly “do” traditional dates, but even he could tell that MC wanted to do something a little more exciting than “lay in bed and make out until Belphie falls asleep”.

Since Belphie is a totally wonderful brat boyfriend, he decided to take MC out to the best possible place in the human world for some stargazing… and napping.

He even put together a picnic basket so he and MC could eat while watching the sunset before the stars came out!

The favourite blanket was packed, the picnic basket was ready, and Lucifer gave the two permission to visit the human world for the evening. Belphie took a mental note to avoid doing any pranks for a week as a thank-you to his older brother.

Well, the first problem came when the two spread out the blanket and opened up the basket to find… nothing. Belphie immediately thought that Beel must have eaten their food, but then the memory of the food clearly sitting in the fridge entered his mind. He had forgotten to put the food in the basket… and he was too lazy to check why the basket was so light…

Oh well… no big deal, MC had a big lunch. The second problem came in the form of a swarm of mosquitoes. Gross, bloodsucking mosquitos.

“MC?” “Yeah?” “Did you happen to pack bug spray before I took you out on this surprise picnic?” “No…”

Belphie’s solution was to use his tail to bat the bugs away, but that proved to be quite useless. It didn’t help that while both MC and Belphie were being eaten alive, Belphie would end up accidentally thwacking MC with his tail.

Well, at least the sunset was nice, or it would have been if Belphie hadn’t slept through it by accident.

It was classic Belphie to manage to sleep through anything interesting, and apparently he also missed out on a shooting star which soured his mood even more.

The only little bright spot of the date so far was that MC did say that they wished for something for him on that shooting star… hopefully wish magic might salvage the date��

After being awoken by MC to look up at the sky, the two realized that something was… missing. Where were the stars?

MC and Belphie were laying on their backs facing the clouded over sky when they both had the dawning realization of what was to come.

Rain.

Of course… mosquitoes are extra active and crazy before a storm… that’s why they were coming at them…

Belphie let out a dejected sigh as the first raindrop of many hit the tip of his nose. MC scratched at their arms and began to pack up the blanket into the empty picnic basket. At least the blanket wouldn’t get too wet.

Well, he fucked this up royally. The Avatar of Sloth almost never put any actual work into something that didn’t benefit himself, but MC had managed to make themselves the exception. He wanted to make them happy, he wanted to see that cute little face they made when he’d crack a joke or make a quip about something, but now, lying flat on his back staring up at a coming rainstorm, Belphie had come to the crippling realization that all his work went to waste.

“You know, MC, the outdoors is going to lose my patronage.” Belphie murmured, blinking a few raindrops out of his eyes as the rain began to patter down with more ferocity. “I think the two of us should stick to indoor dates.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” MC sighed as they used the picnic basket as a makeshift umbrella.

“I’m um…” Belphie began, guilt twisting in his gut. “I’m sorry this turned out so shitty.”

“It’s okay, Belphie.” MC pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “If by some miracle the food that was supposed to be in the fridge hasn’t gotten eaten by the time we get back home, we’ll eat a late dinner, cuddle, and then sleep till noon.”

[fictiophillia]

the INTJ post was really so good 🥺🥺🥺 could you would you write a mammon and INTP? 💕

a/n: First of all thank you for your request!!! And I'm glad you liked it, hope you like this one too HSJAKSHKAJSHSJAKSHJA I actually almost made the other INTX because I was talking with an INTP friend and she also likes Mammon, he also agreed that INTJ and INTP are pretty similar, in the end I decided to keep it INTJ but I'll be more than glad to do an INTP one!! ❤️

If this is too short you can always request this same request but with scenario specified :)

Mammon x INTP reader

warnings : later there's smut, I'll warn tho (includes dom! top! reader) amab reader hinted.

gender : neutral

First off all, he admires you.

He thinks you're very smart and loves hearing you talk about something you like.

And then you're also kind??

Nah bro he's simping already

He hates that you don't get his hints that he likes you.

As if he wasn't the same 🙄🙄

But he loves how affective and kind you are with him so <3

Anyways you could be wearing literally anything and he would still think you'd look stunning.

"YA KILLIN' IT HUMAN!!"

"THANKS BABE YOU TOO"

Like

And he thought >he< was the model

You're just perfect in his eyes

Doesn't matter your gender, height, weight.

For him you're the personification of the emoji "✨"

He loves your smile. Please smile. He wants to see your smile. So smile for him.

And- not even a smirk like in the previous post, no, a mf sincere smile that only in you looks so pretty.

As if you're personality wasn't enough to make him fall in love-

He also loves your humor

Literally you could make your shittiest joke and he would still crack up.

"Does anyone have sunscreen??"

"No I don't like the way it tastes."

"Wait you eat sunscreen?!"

"No why would I eat it I just said I don't like how it tastes!"

It's just funny how you're like

"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us?"

Meanwhile hes just like

"I'm gonna start a band specifically to start a romance within it that then ruins the band"

You both have similar energies and are almost as energetic too.

"Yo mammon would you rather fight a hundred toddlers or-"

"I wanna fight the toddlers."

"I didn't get to finish?????"

"Those toddlers are getting SMACKED-"

"goodnight human, Love ya <3!!!!"

"goodnight.

❤️"

"OI! You were supposed to say it back >:("

"oh

I sent a heart tho"

Do him hard, praise him while you wear your usually calm-but-kind-of-energetic face, it'll make him feel so many mixed emotions.

Good emotions tho dw.

He'd be cumming in a minute-

Every touch you give him just gives him chicken skin 🐔🥺 (JOKE BC IT'S HOW WE SAY GOOSEBUMPS IN PORTUGUESE/SPANISH)

Honestly he doesn't even know if he wants to dom or not-

Like, in the intj version I said he would be very submissive, breedable and "yes PARENT-"

But with an intp I see him actually just being like that one vibe

"*carrying an onion* ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ!!!!"

Except instead of Beyoncé it's you.

simp 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Like I said before you could be in a hoddie, pajamas, tracksuit, wrapped up in a tortilla blanket and he would find you drop gorgeous.

"Look at you so beautiful under me... always trying to brease me- sorry I meant please me, it was my colorblind ass talking."

What does even colorblind have to do with that?? Neither of you know.

Also that just ruined the whole mood because you're both laughing your asses off.

Or maybe not 👀

"M-mammon calm down you're squeezing me too much..."

Now you're both are still horny AND in a happy mood.

Aw look too crackheads in love 🥺 /hj

Maybe, just maybe it improved the mood.

And maybe you two didn't stop there.

But you definitely calmed down.

Just don't crack a joke every time you too fuck 😭

" ooo you two are always according to each other, you must be into soms kinky stuff at night~ I wonder what the weirdest/kinkiest would be—"

"So Mammon brings his book of anecdotes and I read some."

" ...he brings.... a book of anecdotes..?..."

"Yeah, searching them up online takes too much, then we would have to get hard again-"

" ..... I'm not going to question it anymore."

He pants hard under you, never loosing either intensity or speed of your trusts.

He arched his back, he was close, but so were you.

You hold his hands each one at a side of his head, you both locking fingers and sweating, the only sounds being skin slapping and unsteady breaths.

"Y-ya know.... *pants* ya looked so hot today I almost couldn't get a hold of myself at dinner.... Ya really do look like one of those super hot models.... and those new pants... ya should be careful bein' here around me like that or else I could faint~"

"......... sO I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BECAUSE I'M DRESSED LIKE A HOOKER-"

You both wheezed to death.

The end.