#the cast album has just been on repeat for me lately | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aromanticgarbage · 6 months ago

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If Joji decides to retire this year, do you think your obsession with him will end? Or would you still follow all his old stuff and that will keep you going?

He retired from social media already, youtube as well and he won't be coming back to any of that, let's be honest. All is left is his music, and I personally feel like he's over it. Not only the tiring/ repetitive touring, but the set path of the music industry where you don't just create stuff for fun but it's expected of you every few years> tour > rinse and repeat.

Just trying to have a convo, we like to hear your opinions :)

First of all, I don't think that he is going to retire any time soon? The man has been making music nonstop (comedic or not) since he was a preteen AND at this point in his life its his main source of income. He has talked in several interviews in 2018 and then again in 2020 about having philanthropic goals, wanting to help in the medical field and stuff but not having the funds for it yet (x). Assuming that he still has those goals and he hasnt suddenly gotten bored of music (a thing he has loved since he was a kid) i just cant see him suddenly retiring. There's a chance that maybe he wont keep up with his "new album every two years" pattern but i personally wouldn't be mad about that. I know that people love to complain about him not dropping music often enough but from my perspective, two years isn't a long time to wait for a new album. I listen to Fiona Apple too and she drops new music once every eight years. I listen to bands who broke up decades ago and bands whose main vocalists committed suicide before i was even born. Waiting doesn't mean anything to me. Also im so late to the party, i have a literal decade of his old and more recent content to get through (music, comedy, all of it).

Second of all, my obsession with him will fade away eventually either way !!! Ive been obsessed with many things (media, shows, musicals, music artists etcetera etcetera) over the years, i know how this works. Last year i was listening to the 2006 cast recording of company the musical starring Raúl Esparza everyday Non Stop. At some point i moved on to other things. Doesn't mean that i don't still smile whenever a song from this musical makes its way onto my spotify queue, or whenever a new photo of Raúl gets posted online. Unless something bad happens that sours the experience for me (most notable example: harry p*tter) i always think fondly of my past hyperfixations. Plus I genuinely love Joji's music. Im not in it just for his cute face !!! I will probably always have a soft spot for these songs even if (emphasis on if) he drops off the face of the earth and never releases anything ever again.

When it comes to his retirement from social media (permanent or temporary) all i honestly have to say about it is this: GOOD for him. Instagram is hell. Twitter is a fucking cesspool that has given me a headache every single one of the five (5) times ive dared to try and use it. If you use twitter routinely, my trust on your character automatically lessens, sorry. And since i only ever unfollow artists on insta for uploading TOO often I don't really have an issue with his inactivity. I wasn't a fan of his when he was still active on his socials, I don't have the experience necessary to miss this. I'm enjoying his old posts and that's good enough for me.

When it comes to youtube, he is definitely never going back to filthy frank that one is a fact and people who act like he would even want to are delusional. Sorry. Nonetheless, Plummcorp is a thing that has been going on for a while now, and even tho personally i haven't really gotten into it, Joji's involvement in it is undeniable. We will probably never know how involved in it he actually is and he will most definitely never show his face on that channel. Still, he is back on youtube in a way and thats also a fact. Even if he's keeping things lowkey (as is his right).

And to go back to the music !!! The tours he is probably really tired of, that one i feel like it's true. A lot of artists probably are, travelling around for months on end can't be easy. I remember Mitski being particularly open about how shitty they made her feel. There was also this old interview where he explicitly said that he is not cut out for the tour life, ("i like to sleep and i like to be alone a lot" x ). That was very early in his career (2017). And taking the fact that he had to cancel some of his shows last year for medical reasons, its important to take into account the fact that his health problems don't make any of this easier for him. I have no way of knowing what his opinion is on the music industry but hes been working on music for years now (even before he really started his solo career) and it was his literal childhood dream to work in this industry. He probably knew how it works before he got into it fulltime.

Tldr: joji can do whatever he wants forever. Im okay either way.

Anyway those have been my two cents !!! Thank you for your questions, they were very interesting.

#joji #ask #anon #yall must be so starved for interaction ive never gotten so many interesting asks so fast on any other fandom ive been a part of #also watch company 2006 if u r into musical thetaer its on yt #thank me later

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madm3l0dy · 1 year ago

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Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people.

Ty for tagging me @razmerry you know I'm a freak abt music!!

Included some of my thoughts on the songs but it's almost like 2am so it's a bit incoherent.

1- Frozen Heart - SIAMES

I think I was listening to this a lot when I was making a drawing of my object ocs, Ross and Percy, and it ended up in my on repeat. It also makes me think of Roger, it might be in his playlist now idr. This song devastates me in every possible way and I LOVE it. "Can we leave it behind? Cause I just don't know where we're going..."

2- Digital Silence - Peter McPoland

I just really like this song. It makes me think of Razmerry's patfw a lot (I still want to make a pmv with those characters with this song, btw), but lately I've been relating it a lot to my own ocs, specifically the old people cast of my comic Cursed Lights (except when they were younger :333). "This is the way that it is, this is the way that it always will be.."

3- Need 2 - Pinegrove

I like listening to this song when I go walk outside when the sun is just starting to set- my "sunset quests." I also just find a bit of relatability in this song. "It's nothing worth me saying aloud... so why do I seem to need to?"

4- Brutus - The Buttress

I literally love this song SOOOO much it's unreal. It's so Doggo and Nyx core. I want to make a pmv with this still so bad. Funny because when I first heard it I related it more to an au I had of Doggo, but now it fits very nicely with her character in canon. :) "I don't want what you had- I wanna be you!"

5- KICK BACK - Kenshi Yonezu

Tbh I don't know how this ended up here but this song has come on a lot lately in my liked songs so ig it makes sense??? Chainsawman opening, a banger fr. A very fun song to listen to.

6- Lovers - Kiltro

SWIFTPAW ZOMBIE AU MAPPPPP I had a part in it and was listening to this OBSESSIVELY. This song is seriously so good though, I'm glad the map introduced me to it. Again a song I've related to Ross and Percy, but also Roger CL. Roger. Rogerrrrr :,,,,,( my tragic old man, literally one of my favorite non main CL cast. "...All that's past or what comes next. Lovers, brothers, killers, friends..."

7- EXUVIUM - Crywolf

I'm so. I'm so normal about Crywolf songs. One of my favorite music artists like. Ever. And this song is one of my favorites, it's so insane. I love how bro screams for the last like 40 seconds of the song. Between the fact I listen to the album this is in frequently, and I've been (internally) planning an amv with my oc Smiley with this song lately, it's literally rarely left my on repeat LOLLL. "Lay waste to everything with your light..."

8- Gold Guns Girls - Metric

I've been getting into a lot of Metric songs lately, I really enjoy them. This is one of my favorites! I relate it to Daisy from my comic, as well :) I like to listen to this song when I'm in the shower sometimes, it's a fun sing along song. "I just wanna be your friend, is it ever gonna be enough?"

9- DOUBLE TROUBLE - Odetari

This is one of those songs that I don't really like half of the lyrics to HELP MEEE. I really like the main "Trouble, Trouble" part of the song and like the general pacing and rhythm of it but that's it. Makes me think of Damon and Robin since those two are literally double trouble haha. I didn't realize I listened to it a lot.

10- Song About Me - TV Girl

I like listening to this one, it's fun. I wanted to make something with it with Melody and Mimic, but idk if I ever will finish it :// I really love the little voice in the back that repeats everything. "But who really cares? If it was all in my mind, if it was all in my mind, to begin with."

I do NOT have 10 people to tag haha. Don't feel obligated to do this if I tagged you!

@greatsylveon2007 @rosia4309 @gloomforrestrunes @iyote @cassettepulp

#music

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bradshawed · 2 years ago

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princess 👑 - cym as songs on your most recently played playlist

join the party!

lea ilysm <3 thank u for asking this, i had so much fun!!!! all of the songs are from my liked songs on spotify which i guess you could argue isn’t a playlist but i do refresh it and delete them all and like new ones and such when i listen to them so many times that i get sick of them so i guess it is a playlist in a sense but anyways, hope you guys like these songs, they’ve all got a summery feel for the upcoming season!

you as heartbeat by rowan drake. just in love with all of his stuff like it’s just so good. this song has a gentle sort of muted/muffled vibe and with the acoustics i feel like it just makes sense. and his voice is just so soft and angelic in a sense but at the same time has a raw quality to it, just in love with the song

@waklman as unlovable (ft. pale waves) by beach weather. another beach weather song bc i just love their album so much! i’m not a huge fan of remixes and things but this is honestly genius and it just fits so well together, 10/10, absolutely love it! and you give the best summer vibes so ofc i has to cast you as one of my favourite bands of the summer!

@sematarygirls as devil doesn’t bargain by alec benjamin. realised this song exists and i’ve been obsessed playing it on repeat for the past couple of days. i honestly think it might be a problem but who cares. it also kinda gives rafe vibes hence why i had to cast you as it but no it’s just such a good song

@katsendgame as remember when by wallows. i was using the ai thing on spotify and it was the first song that played and i sort of scrambled to like it bc it was like discovering a song you like but hadn’t heard in a while if that sort of makes sense but yeah i love it

@goodoldfashionedluvergirl as nineteen by dylan. live versions really do sound better and it’s definitely the one song i’m gonna have on repeat when i turn 19.

@wolvisms as topless by the malefactors. it’s not a huge band and honestly they’re a bunch of kids just making music but it’s really good stuff and i love the vibes it gives off and the depth in their voices. they just released an ep and it’s seriously good, definitely recommend checking it out!

@amoraffairs as sex, drugs, etc - stripped down by beach weather. i’ve been so obsessed with acoustic, stripped down and live versions of songs lately like there’s just something about them that hits different

@bcyhoods as long story short by voilà. i’ve been so obsessed with this band’s music lately like it’s just so good. this song sort of makes you want to tap your feet and sway your shoulders, just anything to get you to move along to the music and i love that about it!

@bruisedboys as love me like a friend by fly by midnight. okay so this song has the best beat that sort of reminds me of 2016. but anyways besides their band name having midnight in it and the sunrise and sunset references in the song, i feel like the upbeat vibes with the slightly muted guitar and the little acoustic approach with the really cool hook really fit you idk it just makes sense to me

#drew replies!#ily all #100 celebration ⭐️

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faradaykay · 2 years ago

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HELLO i was tagged by rumi my friend rumi @ultimaid AND trix my friend trix @gh0str3c0rd3r for ten songs i have been listening to recently! (ok but just in advance you can't make fun of me for my lame ass music OKAY peace and love on planet earth)

SO IF YOU REMEMBER POPPY (she got really popular for her really strange youtube videos a very long time ago) she is actually one of my FAVORITE music artists EVER and this is her newest song!!! her music style is really unique and cool KINDA weirdly halfway between pop and metal IT'S SO COOL i'll actually PROBABLY bring her up again on this post tbh but!!!! YEAH LISTEN TO CHURCH OUTFIT and her new song that's coming out next week!!

so i've actually really really loved prince since middle school and i've been relistening to a lot of the songs i liked back then lately and this has to be ONE OF MY FAVORITES... it's not a very popular one but the lyrics FUCK SEVERELY imo, i'm a huge fan of "if i was your one and only friend, would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"

this song is like. it may be my actual favorite piece of sapphic music EVER i love the lyrics, i love the vibes, it fits sosososo many ships and i literally listen to it SOOOO much, ask me what songs i've been listening to at any given time and this will be ON THE LIST

ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAPPHIC SONGS EVER AND WITH SUMMER COMING UP I HAVE HAD IT ON REPEAT!!!! perfect for summer, perfect for lesbians, perfect for me, a lesbian who has been calling it "hot girl summer" for weeks now (even tho it's april)

ANOTHER POPPY SONG okay so i LOVE her whole am i a girl? album SO MUCH but this is my favorite song off of it and one of the ones i listen to on repeat the most SO I TOTALLY RECOMMEND bc the lyrics and style are just SO COOL but also go listen to the whole album and i will love you forever

i honestly just listened to this recently bc i randomly remembered the nostalgia so i wouldn't necesssarily Recommend It if it doesn't give you fond memories of being in fifth grade like it does to me BUT to this day it's just super cute and super mecore

TO MAKE A VERY LONG ERA OF MY LIFE SHORT basically i had this like. CRAZY michael jackson hyperfixation in middle school. and i have obviously grown out of it BUT this is still one of my favorite songs ever and is still one i listen to all the time. the lyrics are simple but they scratch an itch in my brain and it's really beautiful. I WILL ACTUALLY also put the youtube link for this one bc the version on the michael album was released posthumously and i really think the overproduction takes away from what makes the song so beautiful. SO I RECOMMEND THE ORIGINAL INSTEAD (i love you sven nelson channel with all the rare demos and original versions of michael's stuff)

youtube

OK SORRY FOR PUTTING POPPY AGAIN BUT I COULDN'T NOT PUT THIS ONE even tho it's her most mainstream song it's also by far my most looped one bc IT'S JUST SO FUN and upbeat and nice to listen to, it was my top song in 2022 and i still loop it all the time!!! definitely give it a listen (BUT ALSO CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM BC YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE BUT REALLY THE REST OF THE ALBUM IS SO GOOD AND A LOT OF THE OTHER SONGS ARE A LOT MORE UNIQUE STYLISTICALLY AND LYRICALLY)

I'M SORRY FOR INCLUDING GLEE I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT'S JUST THE ONE bc this is like. my favorite glee song EVER. brittana literally made me who i am today when i was a confused queer middle schooler who wasn't allowed to have access to most queer media SO THIS SONG IS VERY SPECIAL TO ME OKAY and listening to it on repeat for hours is an ultimate therapeutic experience so i've highkey been doing it nonstop recently

janet jackson is so cool i'd actually marry her. anyways i have had this song on loop and have listened to it at least 50 times in the last week.... IT FUCKS SO SEVERELY songs i could sing sosososo loud word for word

I AM BLANKING ON WHO I COULD TAG BC THIS ALREADY WENT AROUND MY MUTUAL CIRCLES but if you want to do it then YOU SHOULD thumbs up

#squishy talks too much #THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD LIST SORRY this is why i never talk about my music #bc like. this happens #BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND i hope yall check out poppy okay bc most of my music is lame but she is cool as fuck

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amateurenjoyer · 3 months ago

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A friend posted this tweet in our Discord:

We got to work sharing our lists. Mine is extremely of a time and a lot of these tracks might not seem like instant joy, but rather, extremely specific joy-adjacent feelings. You can listen to my list here. Anyway, I thoguht it'd be nice to share here with a little blurb for each song under the cut. These are not in a listenable order imo but i think that's a me problem.

Think About Things - Daði Freyr

I'm not a parent and never wish to be one, but this song captures a sense of unconditional love and optimism for the future, and in such a catchy way, I just can't help but love it. Unskippable.

Fifteen Minutes - Mike Krol

I can and have listened to this song on repeat for hours on end. It's short, so that's a lot of listens. A lot. Gets me hyped despite the world ending.

I'll Believe in Anything - Wolf Parade

It's the crashing cymbals that drive this for me, and the feeling of two people fighting to persist in a world not made for them. That's, uh, also optimism!

Gun Has No Trigger - Dirty Projectors

I needed a dirty projectors song on here, I could have chosen so many. but I've been hooked on this one lately, with it's bubbly bass line and salient themes of protest. Gives me chills and that's a nice feeling.

Suffer for Fashion - Of Montreal

I danced my teenage heart out in a press pit 10 feet from Kevin Barnes as this song blasted over the crowd at Pitchfork. A lot of their music fostered a sense of my queerness before i had words for it (and hey, sounds like ditto for Barnes too, though whoof kind of a rocky path there publicly). Maybe the most joyous entry on this list for me.

Float On - Modest Mouse

My dad's driving me home from rehearsal for the summer stock show I somehow got cast in, I'm playing this album for him, we stop and get soft serve while the crickets start popping off for the evening.

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart - Wilco

I liked you, you liked her, we were all best friends. You cried on my bed the day she left town. I should have been jealous but I loved that you could be that vulnerable with me. I think my heart got stronger because of it.

A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left - Andrew Bird

idk man it's the whistling and violins and that sweet honey voice, what do you what me to say?

Light Rail Coyote - Sleater-Kinney

I don't know that Portland feels like this anymore, it certainly doesn't to me, but my fondness for the picture this song paints cannot be understated. Probably some unhealthy nostalgia. Now get off my lawn.

Only Skin - Joanna Newsom

Sixteen minutes of exquisite chills and weeping and being transported to another place entirely. Sometimes I struggle to feel engaged with the world around me but I'm connected the place I'm taken to here.

This Mess We're In - PJ Harvey feat. Thom Yorke

This is a cheater's way of getting both these artists on this list. Great song though, first song I learned to play by ear.

The Freshman - The Verve Pipe

I'm on the bus to Rhode Island, all the Latin class kids are excited to be staying in a hotel together. My head's on missy's shoulder as Boston rolls by. I'm building a constellation of love and friendship, made up of many points. It's like constructing a myth. I wonder what I should ask the fortune teller when we get to Newport.

I Wish I Was the Moon - Neko Case

Midnight drive to the airport. My father has had one funeral already, but there's two more to go. It's a sad and slow roadshow, but the moon is bringing me peace.

Dirty Whirl - TV on the Radio

I thrummmmmmmm and that's all there is to say.

Bear - Antlers

This song is a tragedy but something about expressions of grief and like calling to like. Hospice as an album is a great comfort but this one track really sings for me.

Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Step-Mother! - Sufjan Stevens

I like-a da banjo. Some of the harmonies just slip into my brain folds in a such a pleasing way.

What's Up? - 4 Non Blondes

I'm in first grade and my sisters are in high school, our parents are out of town and the big kids are throwing a party. I'm twirling a red plaid umbrella as a couple of burnouts giggle and stare at its dizzying patterns. Hey, its the 90s! The only song I sing at karaoke.

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

I'm hopeless and it feels good, actually. I'm smiling. I'm smiling!

Angeles - Elliott Smith

This song makes me think of you and a gift you didn't even realize you were giving me. I think there's another world in which we share a home and become doddering old weirdos together, platonically, if you can believe it. Thanks for playing scrabble with me.

Fuck and Run - Liz Phair

Anger and passion were too scary to let in for so long, and while every minute I spent around you was a foolish and humbling trial, I'm genuinely grateful that a dirtbag came along at the right time and pulled those feelings out of the numbing void I had been keeping them in. I hear you're in real estate now?

#playlist #music friday #sincereposting #2000s nostalgia #hello fellow kids #pitchfork mentioned #i'm not a recovering hipster #because hipsterism took my life in 2006 #rip to me ig #cohost import

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starlitangels · 2 years ago

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Worth the Effort

Heal what has been hurt... 2.4k words (on the dot!)

—

Geordi kissed me on the cheek—sort of. It was more like he intended to, but only bumped his cheek against mine. “Working late tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well, see you when you get home tonight.” He moved toward the door.

“Tomorrow night,” I said quickly.

He froze with his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned to face me again. “What?”

“I’m not coming home tonight,” I said. “I’m spending the night at my parents’ house.”

“Why? Are your parents okay?”

“They’re fine. I’m going for me.”

“Why?” he repeated.

I sucked in a deep breath. “Because you’re right. You were right about everything last night. You were right to be hurt and you were right to be upset. I haven’t been the partner you deserve. I’ve been pushy and it’s not fair to you. I’ve been… trying to do better. Trying to get over all the habits that I’ve instilled in myself for this last half of my life—”

“Baby, trying is enough. You don’t have to go.”

“No, Geordi, it’s not. Trying is not enough. You set a boundary months ago and I’ve done nothing but push against it ever since. I’ve tried not to—and I’ve been doing better than even I expected at not reading your mind without permission—but at this point trying isn’t enough. I should be doing. Because you deserve someone who makes you comfortable. And I haven’t… I haven’t been that for you. I love you, Geordi. So, so much. And I’ve been terrible at showing that in a way that makes you comfortable.

“I don’t want to go to my parents’ house tonight. But I think I need to. Because I need to figure myself out. I need to ask my parents for help and… I’m reaching out to an old school friend.”

“A school friend?”

I nodded. “We went through the full certification program at the academy together. He’s a Telepath, like me. But he’s humanborn.” I caught myself. “Uh—he’s from a family without magic. His powers manifested randomly. And… as such… he knows how to navigate relationships with unempowered people a little better than I do. He… he also has an unempowered partner. At least… he did when we were at the academy. It’s been a bit since I checked up on him but I imagine they’re still together.

“And if they can make it work for as long as they have, then I can figure this out. I don’t want to break up—and I don’t want to take a break from our relationship either. But you’ve always deserved someone better than me. And I haven’t been good at living up to that.”

Geordi looked away, then back to me. “Baby, that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.”

“You’re worth it.” I got up from the table where I’d been eating breakfast and moved toward our room. “See you tomorrow night, baby.”

“Cutie, you look like hell—”

“I didn’t sleep last night. Stayed up all night thinking.”

With that, I shut the door behind me.

—

Sitting on the floor of my old bedroom after a long, tumultuous day at work, I leaned back against my old bed. My phone sat in one hand, an album of all the pictures Geordi and I had taken together open and casting a bluish glow on the ceiling. I’d been scrolling through them, back and forth, restlessly waiting for James to call me back.

Pictures of us on dates—a little video from my Snapchat of Geordi singing karaoke in my old apartment—just random candids of him doing mundane things like washing dishes or napping on the sofa with a blanket sprawled haphazardly over his torso, completely missing his legs or tangled up in a headphone cord he’d been trying to unravel. I stared at all of them fondly. God, I loved Geordi so much. I wanted to do right by him. I just wished it was easier to figure out how.

My phone started ringing. “Finally,” I muttered, looking at the caller ID and seeing a familiar name. I slid the answer option. “James!”

“Hey. I got your texts. Sorry it took so long—I was working late.”

“It’s fine.”

“So… struggling with your partner?” he asked.

“Struggling with myself, more like. I don’t… I don’t know how to be the partner he deserves. I don’t know how to… not use my powers,” I said. “And he’s… understandably put off by it. And I haven’t been good at minding his boundaries. I want to, but my habits… get the better of me sometimes. How do you do it? I mean, you and your partner are still together, aren’t you?”

“Yup. Still going strong.”

“How do you do it?”

I heard James take a deep breath on the other end of the call. “I… never got into the habit as deeply as you did. I’m humanborn. I didn’t grow up in a whole family of Telepaths constantly presenting their unfiltered thoughts to one another. When my partner and I got together… we’d been friends since childhood. We knew each other well. We knew each other before I got my powers. I wish I could help you better but… I don’t know the right advice to give. I usually only pry into people’s minds without asking when I’m at work. Because it’s part of my job. I can’t say to just cut off your magic cold turkey until you’ve worked yourself out of the habit. That wouldn’t be fair to who you are. You helped me so much when I came to the academy. When I didn’t know anything about the magical world. I wish I could repay you now with sound advice but… I don’t know if I can.”

I rubbed my eyes. They were tired. I’d been awake for a solid thirty-eight hours and it was hitting me hard.

“I appreciate you even trying, James, really,” I said.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You sound tired.”

“Didn’t sleep last night. I stayed up all night thinking. Trying to… I don’t know. Figure things out. I’m at my parents’ house right now. Told Geordi I wasn’t coming home tonight. That I was gonna reach out to you and try and get myself together before going home.”

“Listen,” James began, sounding a bit hesitant. “Tell me a little bit more. I know you explained most of the situation in your texts but tell me with your voice. I’d say tell me mind-to-mind but I’m not in Dahlia at the moment and I don’t think even your range is that good.”

I snorted. “Rude, but true,” I said. Good to know that time and distance hadn’t changed the way James and I had always been sarcastic with each other. “I… I know Geordi isn’t asking me to not be who I am. What I am. I can’t help that I’m a Telepath. It’s not like I had a choice anymore than he chose to have that curly hair. I know the boundary he set is reasonable for someone who didn’t grow up the way I did. He… he asked me, last night, if I’d ever felt vulnerable before I got my powers growing up in a family of Telepaths.

“But… I didn’t. I didn’t know anything else. Even if I ever did feel vulnerable… it wasn’t significant enough for me to remember it. I know he’s not asking me not to use my magic at all anymore—but my stupid brain and stupid cognitive distortions react like that’s what he’s asking for. And then I push back and he gets hurt and then we both get hurt.

“It just… it feels like it’s always my fault when we get into arguments. Because something I did hurt him. And I hate that.” I sniffed and wiped my eyes. “I hate hurting him. I hate being the reason he’s upset.”

“That just means you love him, right?”

“I hope so. But I’m still not the partner he deserves.”

“Neither am I for mine,” James said. “They and I have a standing agreement that I’m allowed in their mind whenever I wish to be, unless they specifically ask otherwise, but that’s a boundary that we set up when we were… much younger. They were the only person I told about my powers, after I manifested, for a long time. I manifested the year before we went to high school together, and I finally told them about me two years into high school. Because I couldn’t keep lying. And we worked out a system, over the years. But I never got into the habit of just… being in people’s minds all the time. I did when you and I were at the academy. I mean, you and I trolled each other all the time with bad music in the middle of lectures—”

“I still haven’t forgiven you for Rickrolling me in the middle of a final exam, by the way,” I put in with a smile. James chuckled.

“Can’t say I blame you.”

“Dude—we would have gotten our exams voided if they’d heard me laugh and realized we were using Telepathy in the middle of an exam!”

“But they didn’t.”

“Technicality.”

“I’m not above embracing technicalities,” he reasoned.

“Shut up and let me be mad at you for that.”

He chuckled softly. “Nevertheless,” he continued, measured and even, “your partner. Remind me his name?”

“Geordi.”

“Cute name.”

“I know right?” I chuckled. “I love him so much.” I took a deep breath. “But loving him so much isn’t enough. Trying to be better isn’t enough. He asked for that boundary months ago and I’ve done nothing but push against it ever since. And it’s not fair to him. I just… I don’t know how to not. I don’t know how to not use my powers all the time anymore.”

“Well… make it a discipline you set for yourself—rather than one that you’re minding for your partner. Do you think that would work?”

“I don’t know. Apart from Geordi… I really don’t have a reason to impose that on myself and I think my brain would figure that out and never actually remind me that it’s a personal self-discipline.”

James hummed in thought. Then was quiet. He sighed. “I wish I wasn’t away from home so I could ask my partner if they have any advice from the… impartial unempowered side of the situation. They’re so much smarter than me anyway.” I caught a single chuckle over the line. “But… I’m away for work. So all you get is me.”

“But you’re the one I want advice from,” I said. “Another Telepath in a relationship with a non-magic partner.”

“A non-magic partner I’ve had the benefit of knowing since we were both children. Whom I love and trust more than anyone else in the world,” James pointed out. I made a face and grunted. “And we’ve had our ups and downs, don’t get me wrong. I’m still not perfect at their boundaries either. I’ve read their mind when they specifically asked me not to more than once and tried to justify it to myself. I don’t make a point of always being in their head, though, and never have. My habits are different from yours because of my background. You grew up in a family of Telepaths—constantly in each other’s heads. I’m humanborn. I was frightened of my powers, initially, and tried really hard not to use them much. Which never got me into the habits your family history imposed on you.”

“So you don’t have any advice?”

“Apart from telling you to let go of your need to always know everything by being in everyone’s heads all the time—which is unreasonable and unrealistic—I really don’t know if any advice I have to give would be applicable.”

I sighed and closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Well… thanks anyway. I know you’re busy and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.”

“Hey,” James said softly, catching my attention before I could hang up. “Geordi’s worth the effort.”

“What?”

“It’s going to be hard to change your habits. And you’re not going to always like the amount of effort it takes. But the way you talk about him… it’s clear that you love and care for him deeply. And he’s worth all the effort it’s going to take to adjust. It sounds like he trusts you and you trust him. That’s the best thing to ask for in any relationship. He’s worth it, I promise.”

I wiped the tear that had welled up and spilled over off my face. “Thank you, James. I think that’s what I needed to hear.”

“Well, if I could help out, I’m glad to do it.”

“You have a good night, now.”

“You too. Go get your boy.”

I smiled softly. “I will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

He hung up.

—

I knocked on the door to our house, even though I could have just used my key. I figured this was better.

After a pause, the door opened. Geordi’s eyes—bright blue and warm—widened. “You’re here,” he said. “I thought you said you were spending the night at your parents’—”

“I was,” I said quickly. “But I called my friend and he and I talked and… I needed to come home.”

Geordi let go of the door and slammed me into a hug. I clung to him, tears falling out of my eyes and onto the shoulder of his shirt. He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I missed you,” he whispered.

“I missed you too. And James—my school friend—really helped me.” I inhaled and pulled back from the hug just enough to meet Geordi’s eyes, still holding onto him. “I’m not going to be perfect. It’ll probably still take me time to be the partner that you deserve. But it’s time to stop trying and start doing. I want you to be comfortable with me. I’ll make mistakes and I’ll stumble—and I can’t just stop being what I am. But—” I made sure to hold Geordi’s gaze. “—I can be better for you. And I will. Because I love you more than anything. And you are worth it.”

Geordi broke my gaze and looked away, shifting back and forth on his feet. I pulled him back into the hug and buried my face in his neck.

“I love you,” Geordi whispered.

“I love you too,” I breathed.

#Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted Geordi #Redacted Cutie #Cutie #Redacted James

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kim-lexie · 3 years ago

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rewind 2021: october, november, & december

well here we are….just a collection from the end of the year because i am sooo late.

music.

‘the feels’ by twice. you know i did my darn best to learn this choreography. it is such a fun pop bop. and it is great. i love it.

‘rock with you’ by seventeen. it is solid just like the entire comeback. i particularly love this track. and i love the feeling of jumping straight into the song.

kai’s comeback. ‘to be honest’ & ‘peaches’ on rotation. i freaking love kai and his smooth vocals and choreo that he always delivers.

nct comeback. all my boys (minus two) all in one place. i love these comebacks. and i loved these track videos. ‘miracle’ hello! oh honey the album has been on repeat. each and every track. i loved it, and cannot express how proud of these boys i am.

‘killing me’ by chung ha.

onewe. this group just came out of nowhere. and by golly goodness i am so glad i stumbled upon them. they are versatile and the duality is top tier. some top tracks include ‘AuRoRa’, ‘veronica’, ‘end of spring’, ‘reminisce about all’, ‘parting’. also their live versions are *chef kiss*. 10 out of 10 recommend checking them out. and did i mention they’re a band and play instruments. *swoons*

‘one day’ by monstax. ‘they say hindsight is 20/20….’ just let me sit in a puddle of tears.

‘alright’ by ares carter & bumkey.

ateez comeback. my boys they’re back. they are sooooo freaking good. i love ‘turbulence’, ‘be with you’, and they freaking put the overture on there!! i cannot.

jeebanoff. he is always a favorite but i finally discovered his album released earlier this year and my goodness ‘void’ is too good not to include in a rewind.

dramas & movies. *spoilers ahead*

unforgettable love. this was a great drama. that was cute and had a happy ending for everyone! the little kid that truly drew me into the show was fabulous. he was comedic relief as well as a unique edition for a drama where the focus was on him and helping his psychological well being. i absolutely loved the resolutions throughout. and her best friend and her boyfriend definitely became a favorite of mine. bc of the character transformation he experienced. and i love how raw she was when he was confessing his feelings, she was like will you still take me with all these broken pieces and bruises. and he was like yes girl i will build you a house to keep you safe and protected so you can rest. cue the tears. i would rate this a 7 out of 10.

police university. jinyoung my dude is back. and this was a great one. we followed his character seon-ho a former hacker with a hidden criminal record, meet dong-man a detective that arrested him years prior at the national police academy. we follow them as they work together and eventually become friends in a mentorship, hunting down the criminals of a deep case involving the police and the university. and of course we have our girl, krystal, who seonho meets at a judo match and they end up in the same class at university. i enjoyed this one, rating it a 8.5 out of 10

hometown chachacha. this was a top tier drama. from the cast of characters, and life that they depicted was rich with various layers. we got to see so many different character and got a piece of all of their lives. and i especially loved each and every moment we had with our dimple couple. a favorite moment was when her friend says i may be jumping ahead but we should keep to two kids you know. and he is like the only thing i can think about today is skipping a few bases and kisses her. i would give this drama a 10 out of 10. and i will leave you with wisdom from harmoni ‘look around yourself closely and you’ll realize that you’re surrounded by many precious things. everyday is full of so much excitement as if i’m going on a picnic the next day.’

my name this drama ripped my heart out and stomped on it. nevertheless, it was a great drama, with plot twists i did not predict. the whole drama had me on the edge of my seat. from a young age her life was turned upside down, followed by the police to track down her father who she was led to believe was a gang member. turned out to be undercover, and was killed off by the gang boss she currently worked for. and every good thing she had in life, was in essence ripped away from her by this man. pul-do finally being her safe place, he knew the whole story of her actually being undercover from the gang, and wanted to protect her. when he called her name, it was probably the first time in years she heard it. and he brought her to the beach. literally so many tears. she loved him, and the boss saw that. so she had to take revenge again, because she had come to the conclusion that the biggest betrayal would be to use the law against him. but instead she had to face him head on. and with all the deaths that happened when she hesitated another precious person died, the only one that completely understood her. like pul-do had the look in his eyes that no matter what, he was going in front of the bullet to protect her. like the happy ending was right there. and it was snatched so freaking quick. the end with her visiting the graves…it was not the ending i signed up for.…anyways ramble over and i would give it a 9.5 out of 10. ready for a season two if possible, please.

lovers of the red sky. a historical drama with fantasy. sign me up fam. i loved this one. my dude ahn hyo-seop is a part of this cast, which automatically intrigued me. we follow cheon-ki a female painter, and the first female in the academy at the palace for painting. her father currently, not in a well state was previously the palace’s official painter. ha ram, played by hyo-seop, is an officer at seowoongwan in charge of astronomy and such. he is currently blind due to an accident that we know happened to be the same day that cheon-ki could finally see, because at birth she was blind. the fantasy aspect goes deep and is too much to explain. but all was well in the end and everyone has their perspective eyes at the end. and cheon-ki and ha-ram have a happy ending. i would give this drama an 8.5 out of 10

yumi’s cells. this was a top tier drama 10 out of 10. i was surprised by how much i enjoyed the incorporation of the animation to the live action. it was hilarious. heart breaking. and an incredible insight into the minds of our main characters. we follow yu-mi who works an office job and meets woong a video game designer who lives life a little differently than her. it shows how an unexpected relationship flourishes and dies. it was a great drama, and i am sooooo ready for another season. i know the whole premise of the show was about yu-mi but gosh darn i really thought our two main characters were going to end up together (especially after the heart break i experienced watching bo-hyun’s character die in ‘my name’ i really wanted this for him.) anyways, yu-mi was the main character and that’s that. it was great. made me laugh and cry. i freaking love the cells. they were hilarious. ALSO HATED that it was 14 episodes…little old me thinking i had at least 2 episodes left only to be left in the dust and a puddle of tears.

the king’s affection. everyone this was a great great drama. and not just because monday and tuesday became rowoon appreciation night, i fell in love with nam yoonsu. this man. frick i was willing to let him be the main lead. like i never feel this way. like oh yeah second male lead it’s chill i will stay away. but dang i was ready to flip the script. and byung-chan was also in this drama. like my goodness. it was great. okay now to the actual premise. we follow a story in joseon, the crown prince’s wife gave birth to twins, but twins are not a good thing in the palace. so lee hwi is born and raised in the palace, and da-mi was supposed to be killed off but the mother begged to save her. years later da-mi returns to the palace as a maid and meets jung ji-un (rowoon), she saves him from drowning and they become quick friends. lee hwi finds da-mi and realizes they look alike and wants to switch places. they switch and gosh darn the bad guys don’t kill da-mi, they kill lee hwi. uh oh. but the bad guys are silly and don’t know they killed the wrong twin…so not to get in trouble because of the switch a handful of people protect da-mi and she has to acclimate to living in the palace as her now dead twin brother. years later, jung ji-un returns as her tutuor, having her waiver in her seat. lots of things happen, and i’m just like how does no one know this. (ji-un is a dummy and doesn’t figure any of this out, kind of has inkling ideas but is a dummy and needs someone to spell it out.) strange how they were actually able to hide it. but then we find out that the dead prince’s bestie lee-hyun (nam yoon-su) knew all the freaking long and loves da-mi. wild. it’s full of twists and turns, and deception from the court. we love to hate it. our girl ends up faking her death and lives a happily ever after with jung ji-un. and lee-hyun becomes freaking king. definitely a 9.5 out of 10

another gif because i love this man.

happiness. this was an interesting one, it is the first drama that i have watched the mentioned covid. quite a unique start. we follow our yi-hyun (our dude park hyung-sik) who is a detective and wants to protect his friend/love sae-bom. they’ve known each other since high school. they marry because she is determined to have her own place, and to get the apartment she has to do this to earn the credit from the police bureau. in the midst of the move to their new high-rise apartment an outbreak strikes the complex. we see people of diverse backgrounds have to work together and eventually kind of kill off one another. the fear and distrust that ensues is something else. like what is the likelihood of having multiple murders in your apartment building? and on the outside, is tae-seok who worked with sae-bom, and is a health service commander. and he is at the center of trying to find the cure and help keep control of the state. i would rate it a 9 out of 10. i enjoyed seeing all the various characters, and how yi-hyun and sae-bom finally realized that they loved each other. i loved it. also thankful we got a good ending, because dang as it kept getting darker in the concept i was like, frick it’s called happiness but the title is literally fading away will all the happiness fade away and we will be left with nothing?!

extracurricular. y’all this one was intense, and dark. i was intrigued having just finished ‘the kings affection’ and being obsessed with nam yoon-su...so you know if was going to be next on the list. we follow a high schooler, ji-soo, who works as a pimp because he desperately needs money to go to university after high school. but he creates an app, that protects his app users; which is a unique and strange take in this dangerous life. everything gets twisted and he ends up in business with a classmate, gyu-ri who he has a crush on, and then everything basically goes to poop. and it ends on a cliff hanger at episode 10, which i thought i was getting more then i didn’t so yeah...didn’t appreciate that ending. i would still give it a 7.5 out of 10

melancholia. oh my goodness you knew this was going to have to be on a rewind because my dude, lee do-freaking-hyun is in this drama. so it has to be golden. this one will probably have its own review because dang a lot of feelings and thoughts. i honestly was nervous at the start because no matter how much i love lee do-hyun, i am not jumping on board a teacher/under-aged student trope. but i loved how we saw the timeline jump and how everything fell apart and then together again. i rate this drama a 10 out of 10.

the silent sea. DUDE this was insane! so this one takes place in the future, where the world is in dire need of water. a crew from korea goes to an abandoned research facility on the moon on hunt for water. well it becomes majorly twisted and dark, because this lunar water not only produces more water but takes over any life form and proceeds to drown the life out of it. it was a wild ride, with so many twists and turns, and hidden discoveries and bad guys. and hello this cast was PERFECT, and hello gong yoo was in this so you know it’s good. i would definitely recommend this drama because it is something i haven’t seen. i would rate it a 9 out of 10.

#korean drama #review #kdrama #kpop #unforgettable love #hometown cha cha cha #lovers of the red sky #police university #my name #yumi's cells #the king's affection #happiness #extracurricular #melancholia #the silent sea

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waywardnerd67 · 4 years ago

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Star Crossed: Shining Star

Summary: Between filming and conventions, Jensen Ackles hardly has a moment to himself. During a panel one weekend he learns that his favorite band’s lead singer is a fan of his. Encouraged by his best friend, Jensen steps out of his comfort zone and reaches out to her on social media. That one decision throws his entire world into a whirlwind adventure. Pairing: No Pairing Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1595 A/N: None

Check out: Star Crossed Masterlist

Jensen Ackles walked into his apartment kicking off his shoes by the door. Thankful to be done filming for the week and looking forward to not having to travel too far for the convention this weekend. He loved meeting fans and performing on Saturday nights. There were some weeks where he wished he could relax in his apartment and not have to worry about traveling.

Deciding a night of Netflix and pizza was in order, Jensen took a quick shower then put on some sweats with a t-shirt. He had settled in with his pizza with The Witcher series pulled up to watch when his phone started buzzing.

“No Jared, I don’t want to come out.”

Laughter came ringing through the speaker, “Jackles, it’s only a few crew and myself chilling at our normal spot. Come out for a little while.”

“What part of no don’t you understand? The N or the O?” Jensen rubbed his forehead hearing everyone behind Jared chanting his name, “Buddy, I’m showered and in for the evening. I’ll make it up to y’all tomorrow night.”

“Fine old man, see you tomorrow.”

He groaned, ending the call and no longer interested in the show on Netflix. Turning off the tv, he walked over to his record player turning on the band he had been listening to on repeat. He discovered Wayward Stars a few years ago when a fan gifted him their cd. They were a hard rock, alternative metal band with lyrics that spoke to the soul. Also, the lead singer was drop dead gorgeous.

There had been late night shoots he would turn on one of their albums listening to (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s voice letting it seep into the far reaches of his mind. As he sat in his apartment alone, he allowed his mind to wander of singing with her on stage one day. Making a mental note to talk with Creation and Rob Benedict about getting her to come to Vegas for SNS. For now, he let the music flow over him well into the night.

The next day, Jensen slept in until he heard Clif knocking on his door. Twenty minutes later, he was walking down to the lobby where Jared was sitting with his eyes closed.

“Hey Jared!” He yelled.

Jared jumped falling off the chair he was on. Jensen and Clif started laughing as he mumbled curses under his breath getting off the floor.

“Not funny and I will get you back.” Jared’s eyes narrowed on him.

“I’m sure you will, big guy. Now, can we get on with our day?”

They had a few interviews at the studio and some meetings before they had to get ready for the concert that night. Since the convention was in Vancouver and there was no traveling, Jensen had agreed to sing that night. He was excited to perform new songs and to be in front of the fans. As they pulled into the studio parking lot, he sighed knowing it was going to be a long day ahead of him.

It was near six o’clock when Jensen arrived back at his apartment to get ready for the night. Once again, he turned on his favorite Wayward Stars song, A Light in the Dark. It was a slower song with beautiful lyrics and then a killer riff in the end. He was in his room, singing when he heard his door open. Only two people had a key to his place and he only needed one guest to know who was walking in.

“Really? Wayward Stars again?” Jared flopped down on his couch.

“I can’t help it that you have horrible taste in music.” He chuckled.

“I like the band… just not 24/7 like you.”

He rolled his eyes, shutting off his record player, “Don’t judge me. Now come on and let’s go hang out with the fam.”

Saturday Night Special was exactly that, special. Especially when they were in Vancouver. The cast and crew seemed to cut loose a little more backstage. He was catching up with Matt Cohen when they called him to get ready to go on stage. Jared and Misha were standing by the stage to watch as Rob called him up on stage.

There was nothing more exhilarating than being hit with a roar of an audience. An electric current steady ran down his body over the next fifteen minutes as he performed. When he walked off stage, as promised, he celebrated with Jared, Misha and others until the early hours of morning.

Their early morning panel was rough as the coffee worked through knocking out the whiskey from his system. The last question of their morning panel came from a young lady wearing a Wayward Stars shirt.

“Love your shirt.” Jensen smiled.

“We get it Ackles, you’re their biggest fan.” Jared jokes.

The fan laughed, “Actually my question is about them. SPN family loves this band since they are fans of the show. Wondering if you ever had a chance to meet them or if they could be invited to a SNS show?”

“Go on fanboy…”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “I would love to meet them one day and have them come perform during Saturday Night Special. I’m forever thankful to the fan who gave me their cd a couple of years ago. Many, many a night their music has kept me sane during shooting. So yeah, definitely would love to meet them.”

“I would love for Jensen to meet them so I can film it and post it on social media for everyone to see him fanboy all over (Y/N).”

The crowd ohhh as Jensen glared at Jared, “Alright, alright… I think we have to get going now. We will see y’all later.”

Waving as they walked off the stage. As soon as they were on the stairs, Jensen punched his friend in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You deserve that.” Jensen could hear Jared laughing all the way to the green room.

The rest of the convention went without a hitch. Monday morning brought a whole new week of filming. Jensen was in his trailer when his phone buzzed seeing a text from Jared.

He pulled up his app, seeing a few friends tagging him in a post from a girl named Addy. Clicking on the YouTube link surprised to see (Y/N) watching him sing from SNS.

“I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Text flashed on the screen, “#1 Jensen Ackles Fangirl”

He sat there stunned for a moment watching the video again. He could not wrap his mind around that she was a big fan of his. He knew the band liked the show, but to think he was perfect? His heart thumped against his chest as his shaking hands typed a message back to Jared.

Jensen took a few deep breaths before typing a Tweet then deleting it. He typed another one and deleted it. The third time he hit post and immediately regretted it, sounding like an idiot. Within minutes he received a notification from (Y/N) on Twitter.

Before he could reply, Jared was calling him, “Are you freaking out?”

“N-No… maybe, yes.” He stammered.

Jared’s laughter filled his ear, “Oh my god I wish I could see your face right now. This is your chance to make all your dreams come true.”

“I’m hanging up now, Jerk.”

“See you in an hour, Bitch.” Jared was still laughing as Jensen ended the call.

He watched the video a few more times and sent another Tweet out to (Y/N) after following her page. He went on all his social media making sure he was following her before realization hit that it seemed stalkerish.

“Jay, calm your roll.” He muttered to himself.

Putting his phone down, he tried to go over his lines for the next scene they were shooting. When he could not concentrate then he buckled, putting in his earbuds and turning on Wayward Stars. His hands were still trembling as he tried to control his fan moment.

Over the next several weeks, Jensen and (Y/N) were chatting all over social media. He posted a picture on Instagram tagging her in holding up her vinyl record.

Finally, he gathered the courage to ask for her number in a DM to chat with her more in private. Since their fans were going nuts over their new friendship. Now they would text each other everyday like they had known each other forever. She would tell him about her shows and cities she was in. He would chat about filming without spoiling anything for her. The only thing he wished could happen was their schedules to sync up so they could meet.

That thought ran through his mind everyday especially when he was at conventions like the upcoming weekend in his hometown. Thursday night, he was on a plane heading to Dallas when a notification popped up on his phone from (Y/N) posting on Twitter.

“Not next to me.” He mumbled snapping a picture of himself before replying to her Tweet.

He knew where she was off too after they had talked earlier in the day. They were still a thousand miles apart but closer than they had ever been since their friendship had begun. Settling back into his seat, he enjoyed listening to Wayward Stars newest song released that week.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

For updates please follow #waywardnerd67fics

Taglist: @waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967 @akshi8278 @dean-winchesters-bacon @carryonmywaywardcaptain @destiel745 @carribear31 @whimsicalrobots @adoptdontshoppets @mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @drakelover78 @imascio08 @mannls @time-travel-bouqet @myinconnelly1 @maddiepants @tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @destielhoneybee @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @thefaithfulwriter @stoneyggirl @emoryhemsworth @atc74 @cosicas-cuquis @mimaria420

#waywardnerd67fics #star crossed series #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles #reader insert #rpf #fluff

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woodrokiro · 3 years ago

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Do It For the Band, Part Five (fic)

Fandom: Bleach

Pairing: IchiRuki:

Summary: When Tatsuki said she wanted their sophomore album to be the next Rumours, this is NOT what she meant. Band AU. Read Part One, Two, Three, and Four.

Against her better judgement, Tatsuki takes an early flight home the next morning, so she really doesn’t know what went down.

Frankly, between battling her colossal hangover and focusing on not puking on the plane when it hits turbulence: she doesn’t even think about it until later in the week.

Since the tour ended, the band has a week off to just chill and take some time for themselves before regrouping and planning their next move. Tatsuki goes straight home to smoke weed and binge dumb movies on her to-watch queue. Chad and Orihime had plans to stay in their last tour city for a while since they had friends and family there.

And as for Ichigo and Rukia…

Who knows. They’re both such dorks that they’re probably that gross couple who serenade each other in bed, naked, making weird metaphorical lyrics about the sex they just had.

Gross. But kind of sweet.

She makes a point to not think about or reach out to any of them (besides Orihime, of course) the entire week - not that she doesn’t love her team fiercely, but they all need the break away from each other... Especially after they spent all their time together making the album and going on tour, and especially if Ichigo decides to show one of his new Rukia-love ballads to the band upon their return.

Still, she attempts to check in with Ichigo on the fifth day over text.

How ya doin’, tiger?

He doesn’t respond for a few hours, but she doesn’t think much of it. He’s always been sort of a shitty texter, and there’s a strong chance all the raucous love-making isn’t reminding him to check his phone.

She’s on the fourth episode of Terrace House’ newest season, debating whether one of the cast members is a chaotic queen or absolute garbage when she hears the familiar ping of a text message on her phone. She picks it up and reads:

Fine.

Huh.

Not exactly the sunshine-y answer she expected, but then again: it’s Ichigo. He’s not exactly a sunshine-y person, even when - apparently - he’s radiantly happy.

She shrugs, deciding not to push it. She’ll find out soon enough how everything’s going when they have practice in a couple days.

Practice is in Chad’s garage, and Ichigo, Chad, and Orihime are already there.

She mostly chats with Orihime, who has so much to update her on about her newest recipes, like natto ice cream and sriracha orange juice, and hey, Tatsuki, what are your thoughts on this newest article I found about robots dominating the planet within the next five years?

Tatsuki glows in the babble, chuckling when she can’t help herself. Says the first sounds… Interesting, the second sounds like maybe she can keep revising it a little, and that last article sounds like it might be from a not so trust-worthy news source.

Her friend tries to argue the source’s credibility when she looks over at Ichigo. He’s silently tuning his guitar, head bent and posture weirdly… Slumped when she catches his eye.

She raises her eyebrows at him without interrupting Orihime’s chatter. You good?

He shrugs, gives a weak smile and thumbs up before returning his attention back to his instrument.

Uh oh.

Ichigo Kurosaki does not do weak smiles… Or thumbs ups, for that matter.

It’s another few minutes before Rukia swings the door open, a bit of a sweaty mess and running out of breath.

“Hi all, I’m so sorry I--”

“You’re late.”

Everyone swings their attention to Ichigo, who observes their keyboardist stone-faced. The shocked silence that follows is short, but suffocating.

Rukia flushes before she blinks, raising her chin. “Yes. As I was saying… I’m sorry I’m running late, everyone. I had a lunch meetup with an old friend that went longer than expected. Please forgive me.”

“Chill, Rukia - you’re fine. You’re only five minutes over.” Tatsuki shoots a look at Ichigo, who’s still ruthlessly eye-ing daggers into Rukia.

What the hell…?

“... Whatever. Let’s just get started. Go over everything to catch back up to speed, and all that.” Ichigo plugs his guitar into the speaker, and Rukia nods as she quickly sets up her keyboard.

Practice from there is…

Like. It’s good. It is. Despite the long break, everyone is still on top of their shit: Tatsuki’s beats are muscle memory by now, and Chad is as on it as he ever was. Ichigo and Rukia are in perfect sync, per usual.

The energy, however, is another story. While there was always some sort of joy and excitement when they all played together, now it’s like the air is stiff, heavy. From behind, Tatsuki can see Rukia keeps trying to look at Ichigo during all the parts they usually harmonize together, to get some sort of connection.

Ichigo doesn’t even remotely glance her way the entire time.

They’re near done with the entire set when Ichigo clears his throat, turning to the rest of them. Urahara has joined them by this point, watching with an unreadable smile as ever.

“So… I think we should scrap Sun and Moon from our main set.”

Orihime lets out a soft gasp. Chad’s fingers accidentally let loose a note on the live bass. Tatsuki chokes on her spit.

“Sun and Moon? You mean our crowd pleaser? The one we always end shows with a bang on?”

“It’s not our only crowd pleaser, we’ve also got some other great ones. I’m just afraid it’s gonna be a one-hit wonder, ya know? And with that note…” He turns to Urahara. “What do you think about us going ahead and starting to write for our sophomore album?”

They gape at him.

Even Urahara raises his eyebrows. “That’s… Well. That was fast.”

“Is it? Our album is more like EP, anyway - just a little longer. Like a warm-up. And it’s good, of course I’m proud of it - everyone worked so hard on it - but, just… Why not start now? Why not take advantage of the momentum we’ve got going on?”

Rukia clears her throat. “Ichigo, that’s… We’ve got such a good grip on what we have -”

“I just think Soul Vibes is static for us. Outdated.” He quickly looks back at her before returning his attention to Urahara.

Rukia looks like she’s been slapped.

“I think we’re more dynamic now, even just in these few short months. And yeah it’s fast, but - we have time, right? To get started on writing?”

“I suppose so.” Urahara looks at Tatsuki and Chad, who both shrug. Something’s really off here, but Tatsuki sort of sees his point. It’s clear Ichigo’s raring to write something new… Why not?

“Sure, if you’d like, I can make some arrangements with the music studio. You and Rukia can go in there and--”

“Actually, I was thinking we can work on some stuff alone before presenting it to the group.” He stops Tatsuki when she begins to sputter. “Look, I know the whole reason for pairing Rukia and I for songwriting was to get us working as a team. But we’re fine now…”

Ichigo looks back at Rukia, and they share a look that’s so… Tatsuki doesn’t know what it is, but she sees Rukia swallow heavily in response.

“We’re fine now.” He repeats grittily. He starts again, stronger: “We collaborated on some cool shit, now I think it’s time to make it a little more diverse like I mentioned earlier. Have my songs, have her songs, have Chad’s songs if he still wants - all threaded together with Tatsuki’s beats. Why not?”

The room is quiet as they contemplate it. It’s not a bad idea, but…

Tatsuki glances over at Rukia, who’s looking down at her hands.

Urahara clicks his tongue.

“Well, Kurosaki, you raise a good argument. I don’t see why not, and I’m not hearing any objections… Just one thing: you’re not striking Sun and Moon quite yet. No arguments! Hear me out.” He stops Ichigo with a hand. “You’re not striking it until any of you come up with a song just as good, if not better. There’s power in that one, you can’t deny it. Make something as rock n’ roll as that and the team will talk. Let’s just… Keep each other in the know, all right?”

The band - Rukia included, albeit softly - agrees, and they start to pack up.

Tatsuki doesn’t know what’s going on; she’s always down for making more jams, she knows Ichigo and Rukia have got more up their sleeves, that Chad definitely deserves to put more of his stuff forward - but that… Look the two vocalists shared…

What happened that night after she left the bar?

She doesn’t have much time to wonder, however, because suddenly she’s shaken out of her thoughts when she hears Ichigo approaching Orihime about whether she wants to go out and get a couple of drinks.

Tatsuki’s heart is too busy falling to see Rukia’s stricken face.

#my stuff #ichiruki #bleach #ichigo kurosaki #rukia kuchiki #do it for the band

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aphrodite1288 · 4 years ago

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Ks has been receiving love calls since he was still in the army. He had already said that if he was asked to participate in a variety show, he would accept. He doesn't want his private life exposed is one thing, doesn't mean he doesn't want to be promoted. You are making excuses for the neglect, mistreatment and sabotage the career him

#Disclaimer: 1st of all that's going to be a long ass Post to reply to any asks like that, so I hope people would read everything and not just read half of it and go bark somewhere about something I said that I have explained later but y'all didn't reach it to read it! So read everything before making comments or sending me asks. I don't want to repeat what I said here. So read before coming at me and bombard me with asks about stuff I already discussed here in this answer!

Sis you barely even know anything of him now. He already started filming his movie in June and finished filming his MV in late May or early June and you knew nothing about it 💁🏻‍♀️ coz if he really wanted to share that with y'all he would have mentioned it in his bubble or at least we would have seen him outside in the set. BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO 🤷🏻‍♀️ HE doesn't want y'all to know, and don't tell me "coz SM is locking him up in the basement" that's why he can't breath and write you in bubble?? Heck! He even comes sometimes just to tell us about the weather or to drop a song and never mentioned about anything else about his life or his schedule. Normally all the members update about them going into their schedules but without revealing the content of the schedule coz that's the rules, but at least we get a pic or two of them heading to their schedules! To know that they're jobless! Heck Sehun is jobless now but we see him more than we see Ksoo who's extremely busy with a drama a movie and a debut and album preparations and promotion preparation! But Ksoo doesn't want that! He doesn't want y'all to know things about his life or what he does, or where he goes 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's why his fans and Fansites are so secretive and don't share anything, UPON HIS REQUEST. And to respect his extreme private character.

If he wanted he would have accepted Variety shows darling. He is busy filming a drama and a movie and making a debut and an album and preparing for promotions. Do you think he is free to be on Variety now? Even if he was asked , he can't now. Maybe later after or during his debut to promote for his album yeah, But definitely not now. Yes he had opportunities and he refused them coz he's busy. And maybe we would see him in the future but he is not into reality shows that much. Now he is focusing on his acting career and singing career relatively. As he is still not built as a solo artist yet to start a new journey for building a variety character and image for himself now. But maybe after his debut. Hopefully 🙇🏻‍♀️🕯️🕎

Sis he is busy, booked and he doesn't like being in the lights. He said it himself he had trauma in the past that left scars on him and affected his behavior with his own fans that's why he said he is distant from them.

Stop making me look like I hate Kyungsoo. This account is MAINLY and ONLY about HIM and Ji 💁🏻‍♀️ do you think I'd bother make an acc about him and talking about him 25/8 if I hated him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Fans don't want to admit their idol don't like interacting much with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's the truth. He likes his job but not the fans and sasaengs and aeygo part of it. He said it himself, he even thought of quitting Many times, as he found that he isn't FITTING into this idol world.

There's something u need to know, SM only wants to renew with Ksoo and Chan and Ji and Baek and mainly KSOO and Baek. So he is not sabotaged he is favored in the company. It's just that he doesn't like working with sM anymore! and he is enjoying his acting career and idol life while being locked up in the studio and movie sets without fans mobbing him and following him everywhere. If it wasn't for Hongki we would never know that Ksoo started filming and making his album and blah blah. Yes Ksoo doesn't like talking much to the fans and he isn't the type of idols to share everything about his life and everything he does.. with his fans. As he does his job as a real job and he enjoys it. I sometimes doubt that ksoo is the one writing in bubble 💭 except for the song recommandations maybe. 🤔

If he wanted he would have sent y'all pics of himself in Bubble like how all the members do but HE DOESN'T WANT TO 💁🏻‍♀️ Now go blame SM on that too.

I was always told that Ksoo said he wished he was a professional actor and singer but to not be famous! He said he wishes to be known for his talents and to do his job that he loves so much but to not famous at the same time 😂 which is impossible btw. He said he hates fame. He wishes he could do the job he loves so much but without the whole interacting and fame and spotlights part of it. I was told that. Since very long ago and I was sad at first to hear that. But after seeing Kyungsoo enjoying his privacy and not being mobbed and respected by his fans, I was extremely happy. Heck you can rarely hear anything about him or see any pics of him from his fans coz they keep everything to themselves coz I was told that that's what Kyungsoo wants and they keep his life private and never share anything about him- I was so happy to see him do what he likes the way he likes it in complete privacy.

We rarely hear he was out with someone for a meal but when we do, it's years after it happened 😂 or with no pics at all. Like how he met Zico and they were both at the studio maybe collaborating. But we didn't get any pics from his solo stans and Fansites not even Exol. Cuz they know he doesn't like it when things about him get exposed .

Like we rarely saw any pics of him outside not before military nor after. And this been happening for years now since debut (I mean the issue of rarely getting updates and pics about him in the streets or restaurants or hanging out with friends) wdym SM is putting him in the dungeon for once debut?? No! Sorry he was the most promoted member and the first one to start a solo career as an actor ONLY 2 years after his debut when he was still a rookie, he has always been the most promoted among all the members even before Jongdae and Baekhyun ! 🤷🏻‍♀️

To put it up in another way: Ksoo doesn't like working with sM anymore and all the members too as they're all now going to leave and not renew so they mostly accept few of the projects suggested to them to make profit from them and stay active in the lights in the mean time before they decide what to do later. So they will not risk taking big opportunities with big companies or shows and sign big-long term-contracts for a long period with big acting or variety companies coz they can't do much projects now in the name of SM since the contract is nearing its expiration, so as long as they r still labeled as SM ARTISTs and still under SM contract so SM would still take their fair share of the profits, So since their contract is nearing its end..they can't do big projects that require long period of time such as accepting deals for long term positions in a show such as "Official MCs" or "Fixed cast member in a show that would last for years" or to "sign with an acting company coz most of them have the bare minimum for a contract is 3 years i guess (idk i don't remember) or to sign with any company that obliges a long-term contract " etc.. coz SM would still take their profit even after they leave as the contract was signed with those companies when Exo's contract with sm was still on. And that's the last thing they want.. is after leaving your shitty company, they would still take profits from you.

Also most companies don't suggest you big and long term projects when your contract with your company is nearing its end! That's why most if the members now are jobless only getting few short-termed projects, Coz these companies are not only working with the idol BUT they're working with their company as well. As it's the one who decides most of the the idols opportunies and decisions and does everything for them.

So if you don't like the truth and don't like to hear things that don't go along with your fantasies about your Oppa then that's not my problem 🤷🏻‍♀️ Go Fix it .

And I hope you won't drop Ksoo after discovering something about him that you didn't like to admit he has 💁🏻‍♀️ he doesn't like yall to know things about him and he doesn't like interacting with his fans that much through social media. He has a private IG and if he wanted to talk to y'all he would have made a public one but he doesn't 🤷🏻‍♀️ just like Jongdae! And they are free and we should respect their decision! Jongdae Chose his private life over fans and trust me he is so happy with his wife and daughter and i saw them with my own eyes. He is enjoying his privacy and he is caring less about what haters are saying or if fans are disappointed.

You should get used from now on to the feeling that your bias doesn't want your nose always in his life and doesn't always want you to know everything about him and doesn't want to show himself up in programs and projects he doesn't want to do just COZ YOU WANT TO SEE HIM THERE. Also Make it in your heads that your bias private life and his close people are 1000 better than being with you all the time and satisfying your requests and fantasies💁🏻‍♀️

Respect and understand that your idol doesn't always want you to know everything about them and if your Oppa likes to be introvert and private you should respect that ! instead of complaining 25/8 on Bubble and twitter and IG about wanting to see him.

Be like Korean Exol they see Ksoo they meet him all the time they photograph him yet they never share anything or if they do it's after a long time, just coz they respect him and they know how private he is and how he hates his info and pics of him enjoying his day being exposed all over the internet. That's why we rarely get updates about Ksoo from OPs. And even if you beg them to buy his pics and updates they won't give u anything. That's why sasaengs always say they can't get anything about ksoo coz it's very hard as he is a very private person and his info are the hardest and most expensive to get.

Remember in the first half of 2019? When he disappeared for 6 months straight and never updated one word about himself and we were so worried and though he was leaving? He didn't even come out to deny the departure rumors it was SM who did, instead when we were all scares he was leaving and we haven't heard anything of him and were dying of concern, he was enjoying his cooking courses and applying for military and preparing for his position as a chef in military and going on vacation with his friends and squads and lover and chanyeol and you didn't know anything about him, you didn't hear one word from him! (Except for the pics with chanyeol at the airport and just coz chan was there if he wants tI doubt we would have got pics of ksoo at the airport leaving to japan) And he went straight to military after that with no update nor a goodbye Party nor anything! Just a plain letter in which he said he will enlist and after that he disappeared for 3 years (6 months before military and 1 year and a half of military and 7 months after discharge💁🏻‍♀️) Heck He even went and told the member that he will enlist without hesitation coz he is like that and members said they were shocked when he came and said he is enlisting all of a sudden like he just told them he was going to play football or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ He didn't want to make a goodbye party for his enlistment like how XIUMIN did, and why again? for the same goddam reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ don't you ask yourself why we rarely get any news about him 🤔 it's COZ HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. 😂

After his discharge we heard he went along with Park shinhye and his Hyung actors squad to play golf together right after his discharge (in January 25th) , in February but we got no pics 💁🏻‍♀️ Why? Same reason🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone in korea knows Ksoo doesn't like coming out of the closet and expose himself to the public and interact with FANS and haters and obsessed fans and sasaengs.

KSOO WAS TRAUMATIZED BY FANS and SASAENGS AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID TO HIM AND WHAT HE SUFFERED YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HIS LACK OF INTERACTION WITH FANS and you WOULD GIVE HIM EXCUSE. HE CAN'T HELP IT! He tried so hard to get over this issue but couldn't. HE LOVES HIS FANS BUT HE CAN'T INTERACT WITH THEM PROPERLY AND HE APOLOGIZED ABOUT THAT A LOT! So please understand him.

Sometimes it's not always the company sometimes it's the idol himself who wants some SPACE. Maybe A LOT of space 😂 in Ksoo's case.

I'm not making excuses for the sabotage and Mistreatment, I'm showing you the Kyungsoo that you probably don't know.

We can't judge SM mistreatment to him now as he is not active now, but once his album is dropped that's when we would see and we could judge if they treat him well or not. And i hope his album would get all the promotions his talents deserve.

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blouisparadise · 5 years ago

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Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics that are more plot-heavy in nature. We tried to choose fics that had a plot beyond Louis and Harry’s relationship. Happy reading!

1) Once Upon A Dream | Explicit | 33319 words | Sequel

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

2) Boiling Blood Will Circulate | Explicit | 42420 words

The wait isn’t long before something starts rustling in the bushes. Harry takes aim, squeezes the trigger, body moving unconsciously. They’re motions he’s done a thousand times before, and his body knows how to do it without the input of his brain now. It’s what makes him such a good shot.

He misses. The shot misses.

Something howls in the woods, a pretty clear indication that Harry hit it, but there’s no telltale sounds of a big body dropping, no animal charging out at him to take him out before he can finish the job.

Something does turn and run, though. “Fuck,” Harry spits out, scrambling to his feet and slinging the rifle back over his shoulder, giving chase. He’s not going to lose this hunt.

The trail of blood goes on longer than Harry thought it would. He doesn’t know how long he runs for, but his muscles are burning, chest heaving with exertion, until the trail just - goes dead. No more blood, just like that.

“Fuck,” Harry says.

3) The Fairy Ring | Explicit | 46170 words

A medieval fantasy AU in which Harry is a prince in disguise and Louis is the king of the faeries.

4) Tied Down | Explicit | 48551 words

The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

5) Now That This Old World Is Ending | Explicit | 49184 words

Needing a good distraction from his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson goes on a camping trip with his friends to Northern England. However, a different kind of distraction arises when his friends disappear from their camp. Hellbent on finding them, Louis soon discovers that the area has been taken over by a cult and teams up with a resentful archer with fire in his eyes and blood on his hands.

Far Cry inspired AU.

6) It's A Long Way Down | Explicit | 52658 words

It’s June 2013, and the legalization of gay marriage is the most discussed political issue in the country. As a member of parliament Louis Tomlinson has decided to do everything under his power to keep marriage between a man and a woman. Little does he know a boy with green eyes and pink lips from his past is on a mission to change his mind.

7) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

8) Somethin’ Bout You | Explicit | 59855 words

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

9) Like Real People Do | Explicit | 64175 words

Louis didn’t ask for a lot of things. He didn’t ask for his entire family to die in a car crash that may or may not have been his fault. He didn’t ask to get powers out of that accident, either, powers that eventually led him into a two-year relationship with a man who was far more than met the eye. But one night, he chose to ask for a replacement to a broken camera from someone he hadn’t spoken to in a year and a half. He did ask for that. And that kind of led to everything else.

10) We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) | Not Rated | 74409 words

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

11) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

12) Through Struggles, To The Stars | Explicit | 80582 words

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what's right.

13) Cameras Flashing | Explicit | 81773 words

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

14) And Down the Long and Silent Street | Mature | 86090 words

Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

15) A Taste Of Desire | Explicit | 104414 words

A Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

16) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users. This fic is also a sequel to this fic, so you probably want to read that fic first.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

17) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices | Mature | 126057 words

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

18) Run Like the Devil | Explicit | 138095 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions.

Supernatural AU. Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

19) You Are The Blood | Explicit | 175151 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions.

A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

20) Collision | Not Rated | 209473 words

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #larry #blp #blp fic recs #plot-heavy

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ryansaiditposts · 3 years ago

Text

The Lore of Folklore:

The Real Story Behind the Characters of Taylor Swift’s Folklore

We are all familiar with Taylor Swift’s record breaking, surprise quarantine love child, Folklore. Even more so in the Swiftie fanbase, we are familiar with the proverbial “love triangle” established in “Cardigan”, “August”, and “Betty”. What if I told you that I believe the entire album is centered around just these characters at different stages in life with Taylor’s story woven in? Also, what if I said that Taylor/Rebecca were an allegory? Not to mention the complexity of “Hoax” being a combination of all the characters in one? Of course, you would probably ask me for clarification, and that is the intention of the next few paragraphs. These characters reveal certain patterns of behavior, call and responses, and self-referential phrases that map out a much bigger story to tell. The trio of songs mentioned above were just the starting point.

To give you an overview of where we will be going, I want to give you the songs as they relate to each character. These will then be fleshed out to connect them in the way I hear and see Folklore play out. The songs and respective characters are as follows:

Betty- Cardigan, Mirrorball, and Exile (featuring James)

James- Betty, This Is Me Trying, and Exile (featuring Betty)

Augustine- August, The 1, and Illicit Affairs

Taylor- Seven, Invisible String, Mad Woman, Epiphany

Taylor/Rebecca- The Last Great American Dynasty, My Tears Ricochet, Peace

All Characters- Hoax

The genius of this album is that the struggles and identifiers of these characters can sometimes be interchangeable. That is what creates the magic, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. There is more than one perspective to these stories, but this is all what I heard from Inez.

The 1 (Augustine)-

I have been sitting with this song for a while. I began to wonder why, for lyrics that for all intents and purposes were sad, did I not get sad listening to this song. Sure, it’s about loss and what could have been, but it’s mere conjecture. Almost like a love that never really existed outside of the storyteller’s imagination. A film that was never made, if you will. Then it hit me, “you weren’t mine to lose”. Augustine simply imagined what it would have been like if the man she did not end up with could have been the one. Betty and James DID have a relationship and the theme of this “film” is repeated in the stories told throughout this album. She would have not gotten the chance to have the movie kind of romance if he had not chosen to be with her. Rose flowing with his chosen family.

If one thing had been different, could everything be different today? Had he not already been in love with another woman, could we have been the greatest love story ever told? Something also struck me as odd. She called out him meeting some woman on the internet and taking her home. Knowing he has a tendency to stray, there could be a superficial level of jealousy. Imagining that he’s cheating on Betty, but disappointed that it isn’t with her. Not because she’s necessarily a bad person, but I think that as we will see later on in this breakdown, Augustine struggles with conventional relationship types and ties herself to sinking ships for the tragedy of it all.

Cardigan (Betty)-

So, not to rehash lore we are already incredibly familiar with, but this song is clearly Betty knowing that James is going to run back to her after straying the path. Cool, amazing, fierce. However, there is language here that suggests this is not the same instance as him showing up to the party. I believe that James has a very toxic pattern resulting from his wondering eye and Betty just has a bad case of loving him. At least, for a while. Betty likes the fact that she is able to show James who he really is when all is said and done, and being someone who has struggled with confidence, she doesn’t want to let this love go too soon. Even if she should. More on that in a bit.

Betty says, “Chase two girls, lose The 1”. We all assumed that she was referring to herself, but knowing that she was almost waiting for his return, it’s very possible that she intended to forgive him even before he asked. She had scars from years of not being enough and she may have even been bullied as indicated by this and him seeing in her what others could not when he was present in the relationship. That feeling of “what if” made sure she would not completely walk away. When you are young they assume you know nothing. Well, knowing something does not mean you know everything and I think she stayed long enough to find that out the hard way. Peter does lose Wendy because he cannot grow up.

The Last Great American Dynasty (Taylor/Rebecca)-

Taylor owns the previous home of Rebecca Harkness in Rhode Island. This beachside mansion has all the salt air and cliffsides to scream off of that anyone would want. Rebecca has a big reputation as a maneater who just isn’t ladylike and mild mannered enough. Sound familiar? Taylor Swift has been demonized, ridiculed, and made infamous based solely off of complete speculation. Rebecca faced the same fate as a middle-class divorcee who was cast as a gold digger after the Standard Oil estate. Truth is, both of these women were just in search of love that could last. Under circumstances far beyond their control these things ended so loudly that there was no right to privacy while they grieved or attempted to make sense of it all. Worse? They were blamed in a blameless situation.

Taylor makes her identity known to mirror Rebecca’s at the end of the story. So, what’s the connection to the album as a whole? Bill grew up in the area that the rest of them would eventually be in later on. Cliffside and salt air, the characters revisit these scenes and similar ones several times throughout the story. They lived at a different time here, years later. In fact, in terms of the house itself, it sat quietly for 50 years until Taylor would acquire it. She then marks her entrance to the rest of these stories as she then will later touch on points of her life leading up to Holiday House.

Exile (Betty and James)-

Communication is key. However, Betty and James eventually resented the back-and-forth nature of their relationship. He believed that she would always forgive him as she had always set that precedent each time before in their relationship. Although they always knew they walked a very thin line, they always felt like the other person would become better to them if they loved hard enough. Each had their demons, though. Between James cheating nature and drinking problem, he could become withdrawn and combative. Betty loved James so much that she gave him second, third and hundredth chances and even excused his more aggressive behaviors in a Streetcar Named Desire type loyalty. Until the branch broke that they were balancing on.

For someone like James, being left as a result of bad behavior can often be skewed as a betrayal in and of itself. Her leaving could have only been a result of her not telling him how to be a better partner. On the flip side, Betty was not clear in her signals of being fed up with his actions, but allowing him back time and again. The blame game ensues and each call out each other’s faults too little, too late. They have, in fact, seen this “film” before. They kept the hope that the cinematic love they were both obsessed with would eventually play out if they wanted it enough, but did not put in the work or self-reflect enough to make it so.

My Tears Ricochet (Taylor/Rebecca)-

Of course, it’s about a certain sellout record executive of her previous label who did not even have the decency to let her own her masters. I will not be bringing his name into it because he does not deserve to even be thought about. However, I think Taylor does an expert job of exploring the anger stage of grief and death that Rebecca and Bill would have had to face in his untimely death as well. The allegory dips in and out of this song to further establish the mirror effect of these two women and their fears/perception. Taylor calls out her own inability to leave with grace. Rebecca was left to burn at the stake after Bill died with no one to defend her either. While it is not his choice to have died, grieving does bring about emotions of abandonment when still panning out. Much like Taylor felt when the label she trusted acted like they had never met and that she had not given them her all to gift them any kind of notoriety.

Gathering stones is beachside activity, but when, so is collecting jewelry. This in a metaphorical sense could allude to also gathering dirt and receipts when it all falls down. This line has quite an impact in the context of a business transaction and the marriage of a rich couple. Toward the end, each woman speaks as though they have gone to the cliffside and screamed into the open air. Rebecca challenges the masses to go for her heart in same way the public felt she had gone for Bill’s, but knows that she would be missed all the same. Each woman is directly calling out their naysayers and bullies telling them they know they’re drunk on pain and negating the good they had done before tragedy. These fake people have both built them up and torn them down in times it benefitted them the most.

Mirrorball (Betty)-

As I previously mentioned, Betty struggles with self-confidence (relatable content). This song takes a deeper dive into Betty’s desire to be noticed by James in the way she needs him to and to show him that she knows him better than anyone else does. When he does not pay attention, she breaks into a million pieces. Although her friends consistently tell her that the end is imminent, she has committed herself to changing the narrative. She’s walking the tightrope, another call out to the thin line they feel they have always walked in regards to one another.

The insecurity is palpable in the self-deprecating “I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try”. Remembering from their teenage years, Augustine, a natural beauty, is able to draw men in with a sense of sensuality and a carefree demeanor. She doesn’t have to get too invested in relationships because she only chooses men that are in high risk, low reward circumstances. On the outside, it seems like she has all the confidence in the world and that is intimidating to someone like Betty who does not exude the same assuredness and has been burned by trusting unnecessarily before. In spite of this, Betty is still a believer in true love even if James has given her no indication there is reason to believe.

Seven (Taylor)-

Little Tay on her Pennsylvania farm just discovering her own voice and the meaning of friendship. Making her own tales of time gone by and recounting the origin story of a girl who makes “too much” noise any time she wants. Also, quite possibly the REAL queer-canon of the album. Taylor was close to someone who she has not seen for a while, a girl. She remembers the feeling more than anything and a certain protectiveness that she felt for this person who was having to hide in the closet. Labels did not matter and love was love in this scenario. She wants them to know their story and the care she felt for them is not forgotten and still a source of inspiration for her life in present day. Think “hope ur ok” by Olivia Rodrigo.

This song explores Taylor’s fierce feminism and activism into adulthood. The unwavering support she gives to the underdogs and why Rebecca’s story resonates with her so much. She was the wild child the world tried to tame with constant expectation. The subject of Seven that she befriended reminded her that there are beautiful things out there and grounded her in a way to keep looking for meaningful connections and to respect the stories of each person she meets to gain perspective.

August (Augustine)-

Somewhere on the beaches just outside this small Rhode Island town, Augustine was manifesting a relationship that she knew had a slim to none chance with James. Despite her hopes and efforts, August came and went. James dreamed of Betty with Augustine in his arms, but wanted is cake and to eat it too as a seventeen-year-old boy. The thrill of it all enticed him to give his summer to Augustine instead. Particularly because she was willing to pursue him in the way she did. However, much like the surface level pining found in The 1, she just wished she could write her name on his back in a performative ownership move as if to say finders keepers.

This superficial relationship was hallmarked in sex and lust by being spent tipsy and wrapped and in bedsheets. It wasn’t shameful or tawdry to two kids, but would show it’s truth one single time before becoming a feeling both would continue to chase. The shaky and electrifying experience of sharing firsts and secrets though “Never Have I Ever” and the charged nature of “Are you sure?” feeling like a pact. Until guilt set in for James, there was only excitement and both were forever changed. One by the hope of it all, and the other by the excitement.

This Is Me Trying (James)-

Years after the first thrill and eventual heartbreak, James has never found direction. He fell behind the classmates that moved on with their lives and ended up here. Still in their same hometown, he is a shell of a man grappling with depression and alcoholism. He’s in Betty’s doorway once again in her front porch light begging for forgiveness. He even matched Betty’s previous speech pattern in “Mirrorball” by saying “I just wanted you to know…” as if to respond to her finally because he sees her after it’s all been said and done. He pulled the rusted, vintage car that once made him so cool off the road to the same cliffside that they once made out in front of. This represents the edge that they all seem to stand at one point or another to contemplate their mistakes. He calls out his own substance abuse and aggression (which we talked about in Exile as well).

He wants to continue his same party lifestyle, but feels like an open wound because his bad behavior has finally caught up to him. All he thinks about are his own shortcomings, especially now that he is left alone with them. Betty once again gets compared to a film in a reel on the one screen they have in this small town. Now, only a memory instead of a reality. The defensiveness from being what he perceived as betrayal has subsided and he is left to face the cages he mentally put himself into and the fear that he was not as good of a man as he tried to project to others around him. Betty being the product of his transgressions since she is left broken and resentful toward him now.

Illicit Affairs (Augustine)-

Augustine finally pulls back the layers on why she continues to try to recapture the feeling that James gave her at a mere sixteen years old. Someone displaying all the confidence in the world may have had less than Betty in actuality. It was all a misconception. Instead, Augustine feels that her looks and sex are what she has to offer and by giving herself away, she hopes to capture lightning in a bottle one of these times. She recreates the same structure of what she had with James only to meet the same disappointment.

The beautiful setting of the beach house gives way to the parking lot behind the mall in a way. In some twisted way, James brokenness recognized Augustine’s and she had never been seen in real way before that and then not again after. James thought Betty’s level headedness would fix him and did not want to have to face himself via Augustine since they understood each other in the worst way. Like I said, that first taste left her living for the hope of it all and it was simply a dwindling mercurial high. A drug, though, that could work a hundred times over.

Invisible String (Taylor)-

Taylor’s stories are often on this album the only ones with direct references to actual places. This one references Centennial Park and Los Angeles. This is the story of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn (William Bowery to some). This in and of itself is a modern day, currently in the making folktale. The idea of an invisible force bringing the two together to tell a great love story just like Taylor had always imagined. Here she self-references her own part in contributing to the media circus surrounding breakups and dating and owning her growth in those situations.

Allowing herself to live in the moment, she talks about the colors and touches of humanity this relationship has brought her. A deeper appreciation of the present and making memories that will one day make beautiful stories to tell for both themselves and for others that once tried to taint her narratives on hearsay. This is her story in her words and an expression of gratitude. Hell was the journey, but it brought her heaven.

Mad Woman (Taylor)-

This one is about the other one and his soon to be ex-wife. The one the masters were sold to. Shares a name with a two wheeled ankle destroyer and will also not be mentioned by me. This is a slight reference to her Rebecca allegory in the sense that character assassination played a big part in that story, but not enough to say it’s a direct correlation. Although, it is interesting to note that they are hunting all of the witches even if you aren’t one.

Taylor gets raw about the cheating nature of the man in question whether it is in business or in relationships and how he should be called out for it. There’s a hardship in feminism, though. She watches as a woman who knows she is in the wrong defend the thief instead of the robbed. It explores the right to be mad when lied to or stolen from, particularly when you’re willing to go on record with false statements if they serve a certain narrative. Undeniably, this moment will go down in infamy for generations to come. In a word, folklore.

Epiphany (Taylor)-

Paying homage to her grandfather, Taylor sets a scene as a war rages on. Keeping your helmet to keep your life is a good direct correlation to mask mandates that swept the country as COVID-19 developed. The horrors of watching someone die for things that may have arguably been avoided sets the anguish apart in this song to any other she has done. This is the world in a life and death lens and nothing else. Trying to make sense of what she and the rest of us are seeing when it did not have to be this way.

The most hard hitting look at medical staff and the precarious position they stood in for both instances is found in the bridge. They watch to make sure someone is breathing. They stand in the face of danger and are contained to one place while a threat is posed but serve unselfishly and risk falling like the people around them in the hopes of reaching a breaking point or a point of clarity in the chaos. On a metaphorical level, this song establishes a very important piece of perspective for us to hold onto long after this virus is contained lest we forget.

Betty (James)-

The first injustice and a look into the dramatics of young love. We now at least get to know why James loves Betty so much and humanize him a little more for the things he’s been dealing with internally since a young age. He comes off a lot more charming here even if unsure. Possibly a reason why he leans on liquid courage later on, James is actually a bit shy in group interactions. This also causes him to avoid confrontation if it can be helped or talking about his feelings. He also has a tendency to fear loneliness as a result so he’s easily convinced to go along for the ride even if it isn’t the right decision.

However, here, he nervously plans for weeks to gather up the courage to ask for a second chance. From what we can gather, he was likely forgiven in this instance which made him more comfortable than before to do so again and again. The cycle started here with this grand gesture, but post-cheating, the damage was likely already done since he had gotten a taste of the thrill. Betty would serve as a constant, but she would not stand alone.

Peace (Taylor/Rebecca)-

Taylor knows she will likely always be speculated on, but she loves intensely even if no one else believes. Here, you can see her sympathy and understanding of someone like Rebecca who no one ever even considered that she may actually love her late husband. All she can ever hope for is that the person she dedicates herself to can recognize how invested she really is and can handle the storm that comes with that. She talks with her own pack of friends being wild and rowdy much like Rebecca, but hopes he never sees that as a sign of disrespect. It’s just who she is.

Everyone DID think the love was for show, but they knew nothing of what happened behind closed doors. Does a woman pace rocks staring out at the midnight sea who isn’t missing someone? I don’t think so. Painting dreamscapes on the wall referring to the home they share together. The very same place that tied Rebecca and Taylor’s stories together in the first place. I think Taylor learned to embrace the madness before the rest of Rebecca’s story became hers and stopped apologizing for being so loud but remembered to continue to let love in.

Hoax (Everyone)-

Every time I listen to this song, I hear a different character speaking to me. Then I realized each one was just taking turns. This one is a bit different so I’m going to break it down by character:

Betty- He had drawn stars around her scars, but the way he made her feel was just as bad as the pain they caused. She believed him each time he said never again. She let him back in time and again to be hurt in the same way, but nobody else would have done for her if he could just be the things he promised to be. She was bound to him even though he never came through.

James- He knows exactly what he’s done and that he cannot fix it now. He knows that she possesses a love for him that will never die, but that is unrealistic after a certain point. He resigns himself to having to miss her forever. The hero has effectively died, so the movie has lost a purpose in plot. He tried, but did not succeed.

Augustine- She had a plan for them. No matter the means in which to get it, she wanted him to love her the way he did Betty. She used slight of hand and a little convincing to lead him to her. It left her aching for more when she knew that would never come back. August slipped away and there was no winning. Winter came and the ground was frozen.

Rebecca- She stood out there screaming for a reason why she had to be left alone in the life that was supposed to be theirs. I don’t think she ever quite got past that feeling of abandonment and just needed anything to believe in. This beautiful mansion had become a kingdom come undone. Bill’s heart had given out like a broken drum.

Taylor- When you sign a record deal at such a young age and a man who has always taken care of you in that time suddenly becomes your biggest enemy, it can certainly feel like a total heartbreak. The hoax was making her believe that even if all was said and done he would at least have her back. He most certainly did not. She screams at the sun (now eclipsed) on the cliffside while he listens to her stolen lullabies. The part of herself that remains in New York being her life’s work.

Please let me know if you have anything to add! Any new perspectives I may have missed? I would love to further this conversation and find new ways to explore the Folklorian Wilderness!

-Ryan Freeman

#folklore #taylornation #taylor swift #swifties

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