#caoil rambles
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in line for the meet & greet now!!!
#they sold out of photocards :(((#but i got the parasocial tee and the dnp made me gay one#planning to take a video of the preshow when it happens!#dan and phil#tit m&g#tit milwaukee#terrible influence milwaukee#caoil rambles
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also shoutout to me bc i didn’t realize how fast i could revert back to being a 1d stan
#like they really did that to me in like a few days#it's like i'm 13 again wow#also would apologize for the spam of 1d content but also.. like it's my blog so it fine#one direction#rambles by caoil
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15) favorite thing about playing your salad? (ALL OF THEM)
THEY’RE SO GAY?
I may not be a “Sylvari RPer” in the strict sense I was in like 2013 anymore but the plants remain my favorite and I can’t understate the fact that I literally bought GW2 solely because of the Sylvari. I’ve always been a huge faerie buff (to the point that sometimes I worry I might be a little too superstitious) and the devs said “Unseelie Court” and I was sold from there.
GRANTED, those expectations were ultimately disappointed. The Sylvari really aren’t exactly the flower faeries I was looking for. HOWEVER.I’d already played characters in custom made games that experienced an emphatic hivemind with their entire race, were ageless and made of flowers for about five years previous so I was fukkin READY for mainstream game playable races to get on my level. I’ve always been partial to the ethereal, alien, elfy races in any game.
Ppl always get on about how Sylvari are boring because they’re “good” but like they’re not really any more “good” than anyone else. They get angry, they can be violent or selfish. Ppl act like not being a brooding anti-hero is exhibiting the emotional range of a spoon but really the central conflict of Sylvari isn’t “good” vs “evil” so much as it is “emotions r fukkin hard” with an extra dose of suck because the struggle to attain emotional intelligence for them is metaphysical. This makes Sylvari really good for my favorite kinds of narrative: Hope/recovery and Coming of Age.
Briann, Caoilhain, Len and Naniya all had/have coming of Age aspects to their over all narratives. Caoilhain, Reese, Naniya, Deirdre, Aine and Jadzi had/have recovery as a large theme as well. Len, Jadzi and Rhia are/were examples of a failed recovery arc, which is the superior form of tragedy by far.
Caoil is probably my favorite because the last five-ish years have been a Coming of Age story and now that she’s “of age” it’s time for that difficult, early twenties recovery arc. I’m sure I’ve rambled on about the Heroine’s Journey vs the Hero’s journey before but I’ll put down again, it’s my fave.
#Caoilhain#Reese Dreamwalker#Len Nightbloom#Naniya of Noon#Rhia of Night#Jadziah of Dusk#Deirdre of Night#Aine of Night#Briann of Dusk#thefreelanceangel
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love the imagery of them shouting “hey twat” across the phouse at each other as a pet name
#my brain hasn’t processed anything else in that video bc of how unhinged it was#so it’s clinging to that at the moment#phan#dan and phil#dapg#caoil rambles
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also we got robbed of the vegas video clip during conspiracies and now im debating if heading to chicago is worth it to try again
#it’s like gambling but with old phan content#i glanced around and everyone was yelling and pointing at vegas#and then they rigged it#i simply must see it#titspoilers#tit tour#tit milwaukee#caoil rambles#dan and phil#tit spoilers
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still processing the whole day, can’t believe it was real
#today was just so good and now im getting a bit sad that it’s over#trying to rewatch yesterdays video while eating pizza to distract myself#but there were so many good moments#like phil clearly mixing up the dance a bit during the song and just smiling extra big bc hes a beat behind#or dan’s laughter at the scissoring comment#the preshow in its entirety#also like their voices are a bit higher pitched than i expected#i was so thrown off by that#not wildly different but enough that i noticed#also keep staring at the meet and greet photos bc there’s no way that was real#i tried screen recording my screen while the staff did a video and forgot to turn on the mic so only got half of it recorded audibly#they were so nice :(( and i miss them already :((#caoil rambles#titspoilers#tit spoilers
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intermission time!!
#it’s so so good omg#y’all were right about the dolls - phil goes crazy with the humping#they’re such good performers though :((#you can tell how much effort and care they poured into this#titspoilers#just in case bc of the doll mention#caoil rambles#tit tour#tit milwaukee#tit spoilers
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so none of us are surviving the tour, are we?
#like i know we've been saying this for a while but now it's just certain#i've never been filled with more primal fear than what i feel after this video#already was terrified of meeting them bc of my fear of being perceived#caoil rambles#dan and phil
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preparing for an interview at noon by laying in bed and zoning out
#been prepping questions and answers the past few days but still nervous#normally im fine bc it’s random people and I can fake the confidence#but since this is an internal job I have to meet with my old supervisor and one of our doctors I regularly work with#which is awful bc they already know me and I can’t fake that confidence as well#just want this process to be over and to finally have a work break#fingers crossed it goes decently 🤞#caoil rambles
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in line and im so scared
#just chatting with some people around me#it’s pretty chilly#but im just so nervous for what’s about to happen#caoil rambles
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love that my body is rebelling against me and keeps waking up after only sleeping for like 4 hours
#im so tired please let me go back to sleep#like i have to work tomorrowwww#i completely fucked my sleep schedule since last week when i was nervous about tit#and then since friday ive also messed up my appetite severely#had to force myself to have a yogurt some mini m&ms a soda and toast#that’s all i ate starting from 1pm onward yesterday#not sure wtf is happening or how to fix it#just needed to complain a bit#caoil rambles
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starting to get that post-event melancholy even though we’re in the middle of intermission with another hour to go
#like you know when you start to miss a moment you’re already in??#i always get that and it ruins it#like it makes me savor it but it also just puts pressure on it#i just want to remember this forever#like they’re so good and the audience is so good#caoil rambles
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GENUINELY CANT STOP SHAKING WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MET THEM
#like wtf is happening???#they were so pretty I couldn’t say anything and lost all my thoughts#luckily I hadn’t planned anything big to say#but they were soooo nice and sweet!!!#my brain is mush#tit m&g#caoil rambles
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brain is absolute mush right now
#still processing the baking video#still haven’t finished my letter to them for tomorrow#am like half packed#my apartments a mess#highkey super nervous about getting there on time tomorrow because there’s two rallies going on around mke#how am i supposed to deal with meeting them tomorrow???#like in under 24 hrs i will have met them and seen tit#might just go to bed and rush through it all in the morning#caoil rambles
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the scariest part of spooky week is mentally preparing for tit at the end of the week
#suddenly seeing the detroit preshow selfie they posted made it all too real#like they’re in my time zone#a state away.. and on Friday I’ll be in the same room as them..#actually horrifying#anyway is anyone else going to the milwaukee show??#so excited to meet other phannies!! so message me if you are and would want to meet up!!#caoil rambles
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y’all i havent mentally prepared enough to have spooky week videos every night in the lead up to my tit show next friday
#like first this video then whatever mayhem and evil they pull next week#if they do halloween costumes???#and then i’ll have my show?? it’s too much#my brain is going to be a mess#i’ll probably lose the ability to speak when i meet them after all of that#caoil rambles
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