#the card is LITERALLY called the Suicide King!!!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Seto Kaiba

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Every good anime revolving around a game, sport, or competition needs a great rival to antagonize the main character. A rival is a character who helps push the protagonist to their limits, and forces them to apply what they’ve learned in order to beat them. Now, a rival like that typically isn’t someone who is going to get a Psycho Analysis, as most rivals are just garden-variety jerks at worst. For instance, Gary Oak is a bit of a snot, but he’s literally a child and he turns things around and becomes a decent guy relatively quick. Or hell, look at Miles Edgeworth; he spends most of the first Ace Attorney butting heads with Phoenix Wright in court, but he’s pretty quickly shown to be far more concerned with finding the absolute truth than any truly nefarious purpose. Ultimately, most rivals end up being genuinely decent people who just take competition a little too seriously and eventually develop into staunch friends and allies.

But imagine a rival who never changes. A rival dead set on being the most antagonistic douchebag possible, one who is driven solely by the sheer spite and hatred they feel at being second banana to someone else, someone who can’t bear that their massive ego is even slightly bruised. A rival who may help when the chips are on the table, but who is only doing so for their own selfish and self-centered reasons. That’s a character I could reasonably review on Psycho Analysis! And if ever there was a character who fits that bill, it’s Seto freaking Kaiba.

Now, to be clear here, Kaiba isn’t a villain. He’s an antagonist, he’s an anti-hero, but for about 99% of his screentime he’s not technically a villain. But just because the series is called Psycho Analysis doesn’t mean I’m literally only reviewng psychos, and it’s about time I broke out a bit and experimented in this new year by looking at characters who aren’t totally evil, but maybe are a little bit. And as you’ll soon see, no one is a better choice to break the mold than the second best duelist in Domino City.

Motivation/Goals: To put it simply, everything Kaiba does is motivated by his ego or by spite. This is a man who has done genuinely great things, from dismantling his father’s bloodthirsty legacy of profiting off of war to opening theme parks and creating new technology to make Duel Monsters more fun and engaging for all players. All of this on paper makes him look like the most ethical animated billionaire this side of Scrooge McDuck, but there’s one little issue: Nothing he does is out of the goodness of his heart.

Do you think Kaiba actually gives a shit about anyone affected by his father’s business? No, he just dismantled it out of sheer hatred for his adopted father who, to be fair, really was a massive cunt. Do you think he went through all the trouble to make massive strides in Duel Monsters technology just so people could have fun? No, he did it all so he could exploit it in some way to defeat Yugi once and for all.

And that’s one of the biggest things that drives Kaiba: His unquenchable desire to defeat Yugi and be crowned the true king of games. The thing is, every time they have a fair fight, Kaiba gets his ass handed to him; the one time he won was by essentially threatening Yugi with suicide. His sheer petty desire to one-up Yugi extends far into the future, where he names the loser dork house of the academy in GX after Yugi’s Egyptian God card Slifer, while the ultra-cool prestigious house is named after the God he got, Obelisk. And in one possible end of his story, he goes to the most insane and ultimate extreme to try and settle his grudge (but more on that shortly).

Performance: In English, there are two main voice actors of note who have portrayed Kaiba. The first is Eric Staurt, who outside of Kaiba is best known for his Pokemon roles of Brock and James. It leads to a bit of whiplash hearing someone who sounds so similar to the affable yet horny Brock be an absolute arrogant prick, but I definitely think Stuart is able to pull it off.

The other VA of note is Martin “Littlekuriboh” Billany, creator of Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series and the man who voices about 90% of that gag dub’s cast. His take on Kaiba is pretty much what happens if you cross Stuart’s performance with Solid Snake, and it works very well for a Kaiba who’s weirder and wackier yet somehow even more insanely egotistical.

Final Fate: Kaiba, seeing as he’s just a douchebag and not a truly evil person, doesn’t get any sort of major comeuppance save for constantly getting his ass handed to him by Yugi. There are really two possible endings for him, though if you want to be charitable they’re not necessarily mutually exclusive. The first ending is, of course, that he eventually goes on to found the Duel Academy, which means he helps kickstart the events of Yu-Gi-Oh GX in a way. Anyone even partly responsible for the rise of bisexual monsterfucker king Jaden Yuki is getting high marks in my book.

But the much more notable ending for Kaiba comes from Dark Side of Dimensions where, so consumed by his desire to duel Atem one more time despite the pharaoh finally being at rest, he leaves his company in the hands of Mokuba and goes to the fucking afterlife to challenge him. Whatever way you want to read it—that he actually used science to travel to the great beyond, that his tech killed him and he’s not coming back—Kaiba really cements his legacy as the most insane, obsessive rival ever created. If he still feels like he has something to prove by beating you, you ain’t getting your eternal rest; he will bust down the barriers of life and death to have a chance of whooping your ass. Absolute madman.

Evilness: So in this new segment, I’m going to establish how evil any given villain is and rate them on it, separate from how I rate them as a character overall. This score is basically just a reflection of how evil their actions are, with a 1 being “Barely a villain at all” and a 10 being a “Complete and utter monster.”

As we’ve already established a bit, Kaiba is more just an egotistical asshole than anything. In his early appearances in the manga you could definitely say Kaiba was a villain, and his first appearance as the starter villain of the anime definitely paint him as a dick… but after his mind crush, he definitely veers more into anti-hero territory for the rest of the series.

Normally, this would net him a solid 1, but that’s the thing. Despite the fact Kaiba frequently does genuinely good and helpful things and despite constantly aiding the heroes, he only ever does it because he feels like he has something to prove. For instance, look at his handling of the Big Five as he dismantled his father’s legacy; do you think he tore down the military dealings KaibaCorp dealt in out of the goodness of his heart? No, Kaiba did all that out of sheer hatred and spite, negative emotions that motivate just about everything he does no matter how nice it seems. Even if he isn’t actually evil by any stretch and even though he’s undoubtedly bettering the world with what he does, he’s doing it for impure reasons that mainly revolve around reasserting his own superiority. The only genuinely selfless things he does are for the benefit of his beloved brother Mokuba.

So for the first ever Evilness Score, I think Kaiba is going to score a 2/10, which denotes being a huge dick but not neccesarily evil. He’s not actually evil enough to warrant anything higher, but he’s too big of an asshole to get a 1.

Best Scene/Quote: Abridged!Kaiba gave the world “Screw the rules, I have money,” a line that perfectly summarizes a good chunk of Kaiba’s character in both the main and the abridged version of the show. But his best quote (and his very best scene) come during his duel with Ishizu in Battle City, where he decides to give fate the middle finger and beat Miss Ishtar despite her clairvoyance while giving her the following speech (in the dub):

“Hear me now! I won't be controlled! I decide my future! So now, I sacrifice my monsters! Obelisk and Gadget Solider, I send you to the card graveyard! You're so quiet, Ishizu. Where's your magic now? Or have you realized that there's no such thing as destiny? Now observe as I summon my Blue-Eyes! Show yourself!”

And more than anything, this sums up Kaiba: He has the most massive ego in history, the strength and cunning to back that ego up, and a steadfast and stubborn refusal of destiny. He plays by his own rules and follows his own path, and nothing will stand in his way. Not Egyptian gods, not prophecies, not magic or shadow games or what have you. He is unstoppable, implacable, and he won’t be denied that duel with Yugi no matter what anyone says. Not even the barrier of life and death can stop him.

Final Thoughts & Score: Unsurprisingly, as someone who grew up with Yu-Gi-Oh, I fucking love Kaiba.

Going into this, I knew he wasn’t going to be a straight example of a villain, because his evil is mostly relegated to the early parts of the manga and the start of the show, with his post-Mind Crush self being more of an anti-heroic jerkass with a heart of gold. But I think he’s just enough of an asshole to be worth talking about, and talking about antagonistic jerks opens the door to talk about characters like Toy Story’s Sid or the more hostile Pokemon rivals like Silver, Blue, and Bede here. It would have to be Kaiba blazing that trail, though; there’s no jerk more perfect to open the door to discussion of other jerks.

Kaiba is just genuinely fascinating in that, despite being incredibly static as a character, he never really feels shallow. Sure, he steadfastly refuses to change and never really becomes on the best terms with the Yugi squad, but his interactions with them are still fun to watch and he never gets flanderized to the point of being obnoxious. It’s honestly extremely impressive they were able to walk that tightrope of him never really progressing past being an asshole while still remaining a fun, likable character who it’s fun to see in action. I suppose it helps they gave him the most ludicrously badass backstory where he as a plucky little orphan boy manages to beat a businessman in chess to get adopted, fleeces him out of his entire fortune and company, and then dismantles said company’s military division to focus on gaming. And if that’s not enough, they have him do stuff like throw trading cards to jam guns!

Of course, his most appealing aspect is his single-minded obsession with defeating Yugi and proving himself as the superior duelist, a character trait for which there is quite simply no heterosexual explanation for (I’m half kidding). With most rivals, they don’t really get so consumed by their desire to defeat their opponent that they essentially kill themselves just to get another chance at beating them, but most rivals ain’t Kaiba! Really, I think the only rival I’ve seen who’s close to being on his level is Vegeta. Once again, they found a nice balance, keeping Kaiba from being too obnoxious even with his single-minded obsession with one-upping Yugi.

Kaiba is really a character who so easily could have been obnoxious or insufferable, but instead he quite honestly stole the show. Yes, Yugi and Atem’s trials and tribulations are crucial and all, but seeing the insane lengths Kaiba goes to ensure he gets another chance to summon his Blue-Eyes against Yugi’s Dark Magician is just a blast. You’re always wondering what insane rich guy nonsense the man is going to pull off next, and he rarely disappoints. Kaiba may not be evil, he may merely be an antagonistic rival, but I think he still deserves a 10/10 for being the egomaniacal asshole opponent every arch-rival should aspire to be.

[huginsmemory]

Plot Foils: On Ace, Robin, Marineford and Enies Lobby

Thought I'd put together a short lil meta on how Ace and Robin in the arcs of Marineford and Enies Lobby mirror each other within the plot, and what that thematically implies since I can't stop thinking about it and since any tradgedies immediately trigger my trap card of Write Meta Frantically. Also, note that there are spoilers for up to the time skip.

First, I'll start with the similarities between both Ace and Robin, and the arcs of Enies Lobby and Marineford, which can be laid out on the flow chart chart below, which I'll go into detail below, before digging into the themantic implications:

Parent figure involved with poneglyphs

mass violence by government in response to threat

survival of the character but widespread demonization of them

struggle with survivors guilt and suicidal inclinations

Acceptance into a found family, and who they are no matter their demonization

testing of the acceptance by capture of the World Government

resounding yes and declaration of War against the World Government by found family

do you want to live?

rescue/failure

1 and 2: Parent Figure and Mass Violence

Both Ace and Robin are survivors of violence from the government at a young age; Robin with the genocide of Ohara, and Ace with the hunting down and killing of babies in Baterilla after the execution of Gol D Roger. This violence by the world government is a response to both their parents being involved with poneglyphs, which threatens the power of the government (I also understand that Gol D Roger in his status of King of the Pirates was it's own impetus... but that's also intertwined with the poneglyphs in a way). Interestingly, both the parent figures desperately try to protect their children through denying or hiding the children away from the government as a form of protective love.

3 and 4: demonization, survivors guilt and suicidal inclinations

For both of them, their parents (or people's) demonization is transferred to their own lives. Robin quite literally becoming called a demon child and scorned by the world, while Ace is more round-about-ly called a demon child when talked about theoretically. Actually, even Dadan, who does love him, at one point calls him the devil's spawn (or some other variation, I can't remember exactly). As a result of the violence occurred by the government they both carry the feelings of survivor's guilt; and with their demonization, this guilt over being mere alive is compounded as the world repeatedly tells them that they should not exist. As a result, they both struggle with their own existence and suicidal ideology, unsure of what the world really tells them is true especially as both their parents are dead and cannot validate their existence. Also, as they are demonized, they are isolated from society, and other forms of love and acceptence from adults which could reassure them against such internalization of their demonization aren't really forthcoming. Although Ace has Luffy and Sabo for a good chunk of his childhood, and so is not entirely alone and rejected by everyone, he still clearly struggles with being alive and being accepted by others, especially adults and parental figures; this evidenced through his anger issues and his talk with Garp in which he asks if he should have been born (gonna fucking strangle Garp for being like 'Well I don't know' to a fucking KID who is asking if he should be alive or not). Robin on the other hand, is clearly alone and acutely lonely the majority of her life as she has to continue to be on the run, as she has a bounty placed on her head, and even kind people cannot accept her for long without the threat of the law.

ID: Ace asking Garp as a kid "would it have been better if I was never born?"

5: Acceptance

For both of them, their internalized suicidal thoughts and doubts becomes suppressed when they become incorporated into a family that accepts them wholeheartedly, breaking the stigma of their demonization. To Robin, this occurs when she begins to sail with the Strawhats who accepts her pretty quickly, not caring about her being a 'demon' in the eyes of the general populace and forgiving her for her previous transgressions against them; accepting her for who she truly is for the first time in her life since her very early childhood. Luffy, of course, I would bet sees the similarities between her and Ace; something that we the audience during the first read/watch though are oblivious too, but contextualized later make immense sense for why he has such strong feelings about Robin and suicidal characters. But I digress. For Ace this becomes suppressed when he is accepted into the family of Whitebeard; who is the first adult to not care about who his father is and still accepts him whole heartedly, to the point of seeing him as his own son. Again, Whitebeard and his family, like with the Strawhats and Robin, forgive Ace for his attempts of violence against them. This acceptence of them even spite their demonization, even in spite of them previously attempting to hurt or actually physically hurting the crew, allows them to begin to undo their internalized suicidal ideologies.

6, 7 and 8: capture, declaration of war and confessions

This acceptance by their found families ends up being tested as the World Government gets involved; for Robin in the Enies Lobby arc and with Ace, the Marineford arc as they are both captured as a result of them caring about their found families. For Ace, it is guilt over not recognizing Teach's dangerousness who was in his division, and the need to avenge his brother; for Robin, it is to ensure the survival of the Strawhats. As they are captured, the acceptance and love of their found family, in the face of both their demonization fully explained and having to fight against the World Government, is put to question; will their family declare war against the World Government and risk death to save them? The answer both times is a resounding yes. Yes, their found families love and care about them, those who have been told time and again by the majority of the world to be better off dead or never born at all are worth so much to their families that their families are willing to put their lives on the line to save them; in an ultimate display of acceptance and love. Both Ace and Robin initially refuse the attempt to save them, desperate for those they love to not get hurt, especially as they partially believe that they don't deserve to live, let alone be worth dying for. However, under the insistence of their found family who wants to save them, they both confess and cry out in desperation that they want to live, even after everything, even after questioning their own validity in being alive. However, here is when things begin to change in their parallels; compared to Robin's cry in Enies Lobby, Ace's cry is a lot more bitter, coming from the fact that Ace is already seeing those he cares about die before him to save him, such as Oars Jr. . Meanwhile in Enies Lobby, when Robin is asked if she wants to live, she has not already seen one of her crewmates die before her.

ID: first image of Robin crying as she declares she wants to live, second of Ace with his head bowed and crying saying 'why do I suddenly... Want... To live?!!!"

9: Rescue/failure and thematic implications

From here, it diverges further. Robin is saved in the end in Enies Lobby; there is no devastating death, and the Strawhats survive facing and declaring war against the World Government relatively without any negatives. Robin is told she is allowed to live, that she is allowed to want to live, and lives. The narrative of Enies Lobby showcases that the government will respond to potential threats to its power by mass violence excused through demonization of people or people groups; this dehumanization causes those who survive the initial violence to struggle with their mental health and the understanding of the value of their own life, as their life devalued by the world. In response to that, Oda displays and reminds the audience that no matter your perceived demonization, there will always be people who will accept you and love you for who you are and are willing to stand along side and fight for you to be recognized; no person is born illegal or wrong, that you are allowed to not only want to live but also to live, no matter what the world might say. This is directly implied with how Jaguar D. Saul tells Robin there will eventually in the future be someone that accepts and cares about her.

Building off of Enies Lobby, the same premise of the government enacting violence and the issue of demonization and mental health arises, as Ace is shackled to the scaffold and his parentage is revealed. However, unlike Robin, Ace is not that lucky; although he escapes the scaffold, it is his own inability to stand down that kills him in the end (something framed as heroic by the narrative which--yeah no sorry I don't think it's 'heroic'). He is told, right before his death, that he is accepted, he is loved, and that he is allowed to want to and to live no matter his heritage, by those who love him--but then he dies anyways, thanking everyone for accepting him. Marineford shows that, even if there are people who will accept you and love you, sometimes that doesn't stop the world from hating you to the point it kills you. It is realistic in that; if you are going to engage with these themes and topics, then you can't shy away from realistic depictions of what these systems actually does to people. Marineford and the death of Ace is built off of Enies Lobby and Robins rescue; Oda needed to show that yes, you can be loved and saved, before he was able to show--in a good way--that sometimes even the love of others isn't enough to shield you from a world that hates you. In the end, Ace was always meant to be set up to die, both as a narrative tool to display the violence of the authority of the government, in parallel to Robin being rescued in Enies Lobby, and as an impetus for Luffy to grow as a character.

To summarize:

Ace and Robin, through their false demonization by the World Government used as an excuse for mass violence, internalize this message and question the validity of their existence. This suicidal questioning is assauged by their acceptence into a found family which validates their existence. However, their capture by the World government reiterates their previous questioning, and bares their demonization to their families in a test of their acceptence. This causes a subsequent declaration of war by their families, who affirm their love and acceptence for the characters as they try to rescue them. Their arcs both deal with the demonization of people or people groups who threaten the power of the government, which is used as an excuse to eradicate these 'threats' to the government by mass murder, genocide and martyrdom. In exploring these systems, Oda touches on how people who are subject to such demonization often struggle with suicidal tendencies as they are told they should not exist, while also emphasizing that even through their demonization, these people (or people groups) will always find others who will love them for who they are, past the accusations and demonizations; no human is born illegal. As Robin in Enies Lobby is saved, this emphasizes that those who are demonized by the government will always eventually find people who will accept and love them no matter their demonization. Built off the back of this premise, Oda revisits this in the Marineford arc, but with a more somber cast, as this time Ace is not saved but dies, even after everything. In revisiting it with a different ending, Oda recognizes that sometimes, even being accepted and loved by people isn't enough to shield you from the harm of the government. (I mean also it had narrative implications of raising the stakes and giving luffy an impetus to get stronger but nevertheless...)

Application

The thing is, this is a tactic of demonization and dehumanization as a excuse for violence is one that has been used over and over again by governments and society all over our world. It's being used right now to excuse the genocide going on in Palestine. It has been/currently is being used against queer and trans folk, against POC, against Indigenous people, against unhoused people, against people with disabilities, against addicts. It's not something that's not applicable. It's highly applicable. By deliberately showcasing it, Oda validates those who are in minorities that have suffered under such systems of violence, often to the point of suicidal actions; he says instead it's ok, you are not who they tell you you are, you will find people who will accept you for who you are, you deserve to live.

But he also, in showcasing it, asks, what stereotypes and propaganda have you accepted? After all, being part of one minority doesn't mean you aren't able to be an oppressor. Are you standing there cheering when they enact violence? Or are you going to think beyond what you've been told and help them?

[enjomo-arch]

𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗗 : 𝗘𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗦 𝗞𝗜𝗗 / @killedarlings

Too caught up in the various tools and gears littered about his work desk, it isn’t until a pair of arms wrapping around his shoulders that pulls him away from his tinkering.  Like a moth drawn to a flame — quite literally in this case — Eustass tilts back his head to gaze up at his distraction.  Hand raises to rest against the back of the other’s head, fingers carding through raven locks before giving a sharp tug.  “ I’m working, dipshit, ”  he scolds as a grin stretches wide across his face,  “ Don’t you have any manners? ” 

Normally,  being  so  close  to  the  infamous  Kid  pirates  would  be  suicide.  Especially  if  you  had  to  deal  with  their  captain,  but  Ace  being  made  of  fire  even  loved  to  play  with  it.  Eustass  was  just  like  him,  a  wildfire  of  scraps  and  oil  ready  to  devour  whatever  the  fate  brings  to  him.  A  true  god  of  war  incarnated  into  one  person,  king  of  violence  and  a  man  so  brutal  his  name  caused  people  to  shake  in  fear.  Still,  these  were  some  qualities  that  caught  Ace's  eye,  and  he  couldn't  say  that  testing  the  redhead's  patience  wasn't  one  of  his  favorite  activities.  He  was  curious,  though,  about  the  Kid  and  the  tools  he  was  able  to  make  himself.  

Watching  him  work  from  the  other  corner  of  the  cabin  was  enough  but  bothering  him  seemed  like  even  more  fun  for  the  Fire  Fist  and  so,  he  approached.  Strong  arms  hooking  over  the  man's  shoulders,  apparently  getting  in  the  way  of  what  he  was  assembling  from  that  pile  of  iron  scattered  across  the  table.  A  small  grin  lingering  over  the  freckled  features  until  Eustass  put  a  hand  on  the  back  of  his  neck,  pulling  him  down  suddenly,  surprising  the  fire  fist  for  a  mere  second.  ❝  You  ask  me  'bout  manners  when  you  yourself  called  me  a  dipshit,  you  bastard.  ❞  He  loved  to  see  the  red  line  of  crimson  lips  that  stretched  into  a  toothy  grin.  

Eustass  had  something  going  for  his  smile,  that  made  Ace  accept  the  biggest  bet  in  his  life.  Looking  down  at  the  table  again,  it  was  hard  for  him  to  tell  what  exactly  the  Kid  was  working  on.  ❝  What  is  this  pile  of  junk  ?  And  why  does  it  get  the  attention  and  not  me  ?  ❞  So  dramatic,  but  brushed  off  with  a  challenge  lingering  over  his  expression.  He  lowered  his  head,  only  to  steal  a  small  smooch  from  the  red  lips  as  a  consolation  prize  for  having  to  wait  so  long.

[biblicallyaccurate-candylady]

So anyways, the fact that the King of ♥️ game wasn’t suicide themed or literally the King’s Game is bullshit and Netflix will be hearing from my lawyer

[13pointer]

Instead of doing my Anthropology work I went on a rabbit hole into mechanisms references, namely “One-Eyed Jacks”, and the history of the name. Absolutely no idea if this has any basis in fact or they meant any of these references whilst writing it. (I’ve also posted this on genius lol)

One-Eyed Jacks can have a few different meanings. The first is the obvious connection to the titular character, Jack, who Jonny commits murders for- and then subsequently- murders.

It could also be a reference to the old western movie “One-Eyed Jacks”, continuing on the cowboy/western protagonist motif in Jonny’s backstory. Spoilers, this movie involves a character literally named Dad betraying another, son-like, character called Rio (nicknamed ‘The Kid’). Rio/the Kid then goes on to kill (his) Dad in revenge/for money. Sound familiar?

Linking to the same story told within the “One eyed Jack” movie, there’s also song that this song could be referencing, named “Ballad of the One-Eyed Jacks” (which is a total banger and you should listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj28IAXqed4 )

This song includes lines such as

“Beware of the one-eyed Jacks, especially if they’re wild”, which could link up with the line “but suicide kings are wild” within this song, both which relate to ‘wild’ cards in poker.

Other lines include,

“He will only show one side to you, for his soul is the devil’s own ” Devil’s own = D'ville’s own? Its a stretch, but it does link back to the devil/angel motif that’s so prevalent in Jonny’s story

Additionally, The phrase “One-Eyed Jacks” refers to the Jack of hearts and the Jack of spades in a set of cards, directly linking to the Poker imagery. It links to these two cards as they both share a profile view, and therefore only display one eye.

I have no Idea if the movie reference was intentional but its honestly so similar that it has to be, right? if not, that’s a crazy coincidence. It would be so funny if Jonny (the writer) was just listing off random Poker phrases and accidently referenced a movie with such similar themes and (indirect) patricide.

[agentnico]

The Suicide Squad (2021) Review

This may be the better of the two, but the first Suicide Squad film will always hold the crown for managing to win an Oscar... somehow.

Plot: The government sends the most dangerous supervillains in the world -- Bloodsport, Peacemaker, King Shark, Harley Quinn and others -- to the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese. Armed with high-tech weapons, they trek through the dangerous jungle on a search-and-destroy mission, with only Col. Rick Flag on the ground to make them behave.

“So that’s it, huh? We’re some kind of suicide squad?” says Will Smith in the original first film, with the line in itself being a poor attempt at a fourth wall break, yet, that movie never reached that promise of being a true Suicide Squad film. Because hardly anyone died, and as a whole David Ayer’s film was a generic mess, regardless of studio interference or not. In comes James Gunn from Marvel, who seems to have cracked the code for how to bring this comic book series to live action in proper gratuitous form, with even the ‘The’ in the title symbolizing that this is the one!

I remember going to see the first Guardians of the Galaxy film at the cinema, and back then I was still only just getting acquainted with watching western media, and that included superhero films. Heck my first ever Marvel movie was Thor: The Dark World! I know, what a banger to start with.......NAAAWT!! Anyway, I went to see Guardians and it was one of the first superhero films I came out of feeling like I truly witnessed something special. It had action, comedy and a good heart to it, and wouldn’t you know, my good old pal James Gunn was behind that flick. I don’t know why I called him my good old pal, I don’t even know the fella. Except in my dreams, but we don’t talk about that. So, flashforward to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, which I absolutely hated, and for that movie I’m pretty sure Marvel gave Mr Gunn mostly full reigns of creative freedom, as long as he kept it family friendly, and the result was a mess. Hence naturally now I was really sceptical when James Gunn ended up at Warner Bros. following the controversial moment when cancel culture decided to aim it’s slimy fingers at him, as he was given directing and writing duties for this new The Suicide Squad film, and also it was heavily insinuated that Warner Bros. basically told him he could do with the movie whatever the f*** he wanted, excuse my French. And we remember how it panned out last time when James Gunn was given a lot of creative freedom. 

Flashforward to present day; here I am wondering and scratching my head thinking what in the heavens has happened, as by golly I am happy to report that The Suicide Squad is a total winner and a blast with a capital B - Blast! Gosh goodness golly goblin, this movie is so much fun from beginning to end. Right from the opening sequence you know that this film isn’t holding back any punches. It’s going at a 447.19 km/h speed of a Koenigsegg Agera RS crashing through any barriers like it’s nothing. Speaking of the opening sequence, it establishes why the movie is called what it’s called from the get-go. You straight away are proven how not a single character is safe, minus the obvious one that we know who it is, as there ain’t no way Warner Bros. would have allowed James Gunn to kill off that one character. But besides that person, everyone else feels like they could die at any given moment. That’s really a big charm of it, as it is frustrating how in many superhero films, let alone any blockbuster action flicks, so many characters always feel so safe and unstoppable, no matter how many times they get shot or how many buildings crash down upon them. And yes, this movie features a certain CGI character that constantly gets that treatment and survives, although it’s very self aware in that regard and is purposefully humoristic. But overall the entire set of characters feel easily disposable, and so so many of them die in such gruesome fashion, so indeed don’t get attached, as they don’t. 

Speaking of which, this movie is hardcore gory! You see limbs and intestines flying round left and right, a guy gets ripped in half by a humanoid shark, another’s face gets teared off by a shotgun bullet and so on forth in all kinds of gruesome fashion. Visually this is one for the big screen, as here’s the thing: you’re either a mummy’s boy or you grow some cojones and go see a man’s heart get stabbed with a piece of debris glass in 4K high rate definition! Your choice! Oh, and it’s not just the violence, also the cinematography and the practical set pieces all look incredible. This is easily James Gunn’s best looking movie. The entire think LOOKS incredible!

We also have to talk about the cast, as they are all great! There literally isn’t a single weakling among them. Each one, no matter how big or small their role is, brings something to the table. I can’t talk about all of them, as we’d be here all day, so I’m simply going to mention a few of the stand-outs. Idris Elba comes in to replace Will Smith as a character called Bloodsport, who is in some ways a different character but evidently is a replacement of Smith’s. But that’s no bad thing, as with any ensemble movie you still need a main character to latch onto and have an emotional hook towards, and he is that character. In fact, I’d say he’s arguably better than Will Smith in the last movie, or at least he seems to be having more fun here. He works as a solid leading man, however what works even more is his banterous competitive genital-size-measuring back and forth with John Cena’s Peacemaker, who by the way is awesome as that character. He is not a good character, in fact he is as bad as a bad guy can get, especially cause he’s someone who believes that what he is doing is right, making him much more of a dangerous wild card. This is easily John Cena’s best role, with him adding to the comedy one-liners, but also delivering such an interesting character who I’m looking forward to seeing more of in his standalone spin-off show confirmed for next year. Oh, and he wears a toilet helmet on his head which he defines as “a beacon of freedom” which says it all. We also have returning characters from the last film Joel Kinnaman and Viola Davis as Rick Flag and Amanda Waller respectively, and both are given much more room to stretch their talents and spread their beautiful acting wings like the Hollywood angels that they are. Kinnaman’s Rick Flag is the moral compass of the group, as even though Elba is our main guy, he’s nonetheless a villain still, whilst Flag is a genuinely good guy and what is defined as a true American hero, to which Kinnaman fits the part well. And Viola Davis as Amanda Waller is on an absolutely different level. You can tell she’s an Academy Award winner through and through, as she plays such a serious character in an otherwise goofy movie, and so her presence is felt and it is felt BAD! She’s such a despicable yet intimidating personality and she gravitates all of the screen presence to herself. Margot Robbie returns as Harley Quinn, and she gets even more chance to develop this character that she’s played in multiple DCEU films now, and as per usual the Harley Quinn shtick works well for her, though I do kind of wish she didn’t always get all the attention. Look, I think she’s a fun character and Robbie plays her well, however she’s constantly used to overshadow others in these films which I don’t think is too fair, and its evident as ever in this film too. Anyway, the remainder of the cast including Jay Courtney as Captain Boomerang, David Dastmalchian as Polka-Dot Man, Michael Rooker as Savant, Nathan Fillion as TDK, Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 (who gave me strong A Plague Tale: Innocence vibes) and many more all play villains, but villains that don’t have particularly great superpowers. This is where the tragedy of Task Force X as a team plays a part, as many of these villains aren’t even good at being villains. They are useless, and the movie is really self aware of this and so treats all characters as they should be. Dare I also not forget to mention the CGI characters in this film, with both Weasel and King Shark being absolute scene stealers! 

The Suicide Squad is the type of wham-bam-thank-you-mam batshit crazy entertainment which exists for the pure reasons of fun. It doesn’t set out to be the best superhero film ever, nor does it need to be. It’s an exhilarating, shocking, funny and amusing ride from beginning to end, with the energy never stopping, and is easily the best time I’ve had with a comic-book film in a long while, and I’m even talking about before COVID! Do yourself a favour and watch this one as soon as you can, as I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The Suicide Squad is a BLAST!!

Overall score: 9/10

[ginazmemeoir]

Women in the Indian Epics

This post is in response to @hindumythologyevent (i won’t be able to write tomorrow)

Ramayana and Mahabharata, while being epics centred around Hinduism, are actually integral parts of Indian culture as a whole. Everyone in India has grown up knowing about these epics, but never about the women. I would like to take this moment to make people realize THESE. EPICS. WOULD. BE . NON. EXISTANT. WITHOUT WOMEN. HECK ALL OF US WOULD BE.

1. RAMAYANA: While there’ s no shift in the status of women chronologically, there definitely is a marked changed in the social status of women in the epic geographically.

  North - 

Kaushalya : Princess of Southern Kosala (modern day Bundelkhand in India), she had proposed her marriage to Dasharath, Ram’s father, to stop the war between their kingdoms. In the epics, she is shown as “virtuous” and “sacrificing”, and is Ram’s birth mother.

Kaikeyi : Princess of Kekaya (modern day Pakistan-Afghanistan border region), she had married Dasharatha of her own accord, on her own terms. She was a powerful woman, and a powerful warrior - she had saved Dasharath’s life in a war, and consequently Dasharatha had granted her two boons. She used these boons later to banish Ram to the forest for 14 years and make her son Bharata the heir. A figure of scorn in the epic, Kaikeyi was actually an independent woman, who knew her cards.

Sumitra : She just kind of exists we don’t know much about her, except that she’s the mother of the twins Lakshmana and Shatrughna.

Sunaina : Queen of Videha (modern day Nepal), she was actually the one who ran the kingdom while her husband, Janak, looked after the “spiritual” nd “philosophical” aspects. Most people don’t even know about her.

Sita : The female protagonist, she is the Princess of Videha, and thus also called Vaidehi. In fact, there is a language in her honour called Maithili after her. She is actually quite passive in the epics, shown as yet again “virtuous” and blah blah blah. A few versions also say that she was actually Ravan’s daughter, or the reincarnation of a woman who Ravan had molested and so the woman vowed that she would be the cause of his death (mmm not so much I mean the dude was asking for it). FINALLY she does something after Ram banishes her cause people accuse her of Stockholm Syndrome WHILE SHE’S PREGNANT, and then tries to take her back once he gets to know that he’s a dad - twist, Sita has to prove she’s innocent by WALKING THROUGH FIRE AGAIN (she did it once after she escaped). So instead of doing this shitty thing again, she invoked the Earth Goddess (another legend says Sita is her daughter) and went away with her.

Manthara : Kaikeyi’s nanny, she came along with her after she married Dasharatha to take care of her children. Shown as a disfigured old hunchback, she is the one who had “instigated” Kaikeyi to banish Ram and make Bharata emperor. She’s one of the most hated characters in the Ramayana.

South - (FINALLY women don’t call their husbands ‘lord’ or ‘my king’)

Tara : The Monkey Empress, Tara was a powerful individual. After her husband Bali was killed by Rama, she ran the kingdom while her brother-in-law Sugreev whored away. Really wise, and commanded respect.

Mandodari : Daughter of the architect of Asuras Mayasur, Mandodari was another powerful woman. She was Ravan’s first wife, and is often seen speaking her opinions in the epics, reprimanding Ravan and genuinely being a boss-ass bitch, which as the epics state “was unusual”. Legend also states that Shiva had made her out of a frog (manduk in sanskrit), so that Ravan could stop pestering them.

Shurpanakha : Quite literally meaning “as sharp as nails), Shurpanakha was Ravan’s sister. Also known as Meenakshi, some hold her responsible for the annihilation of Ravan as her revenge for Ravan killing her husband. She had actually tried to seduce Ram and Lakshman while they were in the forest, but instead they pranked her, and not in the nice way (people, YOU DO NOT PRANK A DEMON PRINCESS). So when she saw Sita laughing, she thought it wa sher idea and attempted to kill her. Immediately, the “chivalrous” Lakshman ran to defend Sita and cut off “the evil temptress’” nose. So anywho Shurpanakha tells Ravan to avenge her, and later she goes to Ayodhya and spreads rumours about Sita’s affair with Ravan for revenge.

Kaikesi : Ravan’s mother, Kaikesi was the original heir to Lanka before it was given to Kuber, the dwarf lord of wealth. She later married the monk Vishravas, and had almighty children (some say this is the only reason she married him). She was the one who created Mega Ravan after the war to avenge herslef.

Sulochana : The Naga Princess, Sulochana was the daughter of the snake king Vasuki. Not much is known about her, except that she committed suicide after her husband Meghnad (Ravan’s son) was killed.

other characters : Trijata - she was Sita’s bodyguard in Lanka, and also Ravan’s  niece. She was the one who consoled Sita and protected her from the other demons.

Lankini : The guardian of Lanka, she had been defeated by Hanuman.

Urmila : Sita’s younger sister, who was married to Lakshman. Later, she fell into a coma for 14 years, till the time all three of our protagonists returned.

Surasa : The Sea Dragon, she tested Hanuman’s strength on his way to Lanka by attempting to eat him.

Simhika : The Shadow monster, who ate creatures by grabbing their shadows. She was killed by Hanuman.

2. MAHABHARATA : Ok this epic is more recognized, and also the women here are SO much more badass. The Mahabharata represents a chronological change in women’s status in Indian society.

Urvashi : Queen of the nymphs (apsaras), Urvashi had married the mortal king Pururavas on the condition that nobody will hurt her pet lamb, and that nobody except Pururavas will see her naked. So the gods killed her lamb and “opened the doors with mighty winds” and “lit the skies with lightning” when Pururavas and Urvashi were having sex, so everyone could see Urvashi naked. She then left Pururavas, who grew mad. Later, she tried to seduce Arjun (Pururavas’ descendant) and when he refused, she cursed him to become a eunuch.

Ganga : The River Goddess, she married Shantanu only on the condition that he would never question her or her actions. Then, Ganga proceeded to drown all of her and Shantanu’s children. When Shantanu finally stopped her from drowning the eighth one, it was revealed that they were actually gods cursed as humans and Ganga was only doing this so that they could go back to being gods again. Anywho, since Shantanu had technically questioned her actions, she left him and took the child. This child was Bhishma.

Satyavati : She was born when a fish ingested a king’s sperm (LONG story), and the fish gave birth to her. She was known for her beauty that rivalled the gods, and also her fish stank. she had sex with the sage Parashara and gave birth on an island to Vyasa (the Mahabharata’s author). In return, Parashara granted her the boon of irresistible scent. Later, she married Shantanu on one condition - that only her lineage would rule the throne, which forced Bhishma to take his vow of celibacy. A woman of naked ambition, she made sure that it was her blood only that ruled the throne of Hastinapur.

Amba : The princess of Kashi (modern day Varanasi in Uttar Pradesh), she and her two sisters were abducted from their marriage by Bhishma on Satyavati’s order to be married to her son Vichitravirya. Amba escaped Bhishma, but her husband refused to accept as she “was now another man’s property” (BITCH). When she asked Bhishma to marry her, he refused because of his stupid vow. So she sought revenge on him and went to the warrior sage Parashuram. Parashuram was enraged at Amba’s condition, and invited Bhishma to a duel till death. However, he realized that their duel could actually end the world and stopped it. Angry, Amba burnt herself alive and promised to be reborn as Bhishma’s death. She was reborn as the transwoman Shikhandi, Draupadi’s sibling, and ultimately killed Bhishma. (more popular versions state that she actually stood in front of Arjuna, and since Bhishma couldn’t “raise a hand on a transwoman”, Arjuna could safely kill Bhishma from behind her.

Gandhari : Princess of Gandhara (modern day Afghanistan), Gandhari’s kingdom was destroyed by Bhishma and she was married to Dhritarashtra, the blind prince. To aid her husband, she also blinded herself for life by wearing a blindfold at all times. Mother of the hundred Kauravas, she had uttered that fateful curse which caused the destruction of Krishna and his empire.

Kunti : Princess of Mathura, she was adopted by king Kuntihoja. A resourceful and sharp woman, she had received a boon to have kids by any god she wanted. Out of curiosity, she tested the boon and got the son of the Sun god, Karna. Not ready to be a teen mom, she threw the baby in a river (the baby lived). Later she married Pandu, Dhritarashtra’s younger brother, and gave birth to Yudhishthir, Bhima and Arjuna from Yama (god of death and law), Vayu (god of wind) and Indra (indian zeus) respectively. She spent her entire life protecting Pandu’s five children after his death, even burning six people alive during the Varnavat incident.

Madri : Princess of Madradesh (present day Tamil Nadu, India), she was Pandu’s second wife and gave birth to the twins Nakul and Sahadeva from the Ashvini Twins (gods of healing and knowledge, she had used Kunti’s boon). She committed suicide after Pandu’s death.

Draupadi : Princess of Panchal (modern day Uttar Pradesh, India although some people say it could also be Punjab), she was born from fire. She and her brother were created to avenge their foster father Drupad. Married to all five Pandavas, she later became Empress of Indraprastha, and encouraged her husbands to fight for their rights. Molested and disrobed after the Gambling Hall incident, she vowed to destroy the Kuru dynasty - and that she would not wash her hair until they were washed with Dushasana’s blood, the man who had disrobed her. Krishna treated her like his own sister, and today she serves as an inspiration to all women.

There are a LOT more women in the Ramayana and Mahabharata, but i would have to write another separate 500 pager for that, and honestly i have run out of brain juice right now. so i leave you with this - STAY BADASS LADIES.

[signed-yours-truly-the-whale]

Thoughts/Observations on Joker, part 1

AKA I Spent 7 Hours on This, I Will Die if it Gets Less Than Three Notes

I could rave for hours about this movie’s cinematography. Literal hours.

Nobody talks enough about Arthur’s full-fledged dedication to his clown craft. Man is working 60+ hours a week and does not break a sweat. I also fucking love this clowny face he pulls here. The first shot we see of Arthur in full. Holy shit is it beautiful. God bless Joaquin Phoenix.

These two shots together are incredibly important to me. In a split-second we see Arthur’s disbelief that he cannot control the whirlwind of emotions inside of his own head, not even being able to produce a smile, and then his resignation because it’s just another day. Heartbreaking.

Awwww shiiiiit

Gotham City is such a dump but I’d be bullshitting myself if I said I didn’t love the grimy aesthetic of it. It’s technicolor trash.

Arthur loves his job so much. He genuinely enjoys being Carnival. That hurts a lot to think about in hindsight.

This man just got his ass handed to him and he is STILL SPRAYING THE FAKE FLOWER ON HIS VEST

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT DEDICATION

This opening card is so imposing. Not only does it take up the entire screen to the point of running off the edges, but it’s shielding Arthur from view. Arthur is invisible in light of Joker in Arthur’s own movie.

I screenshotted this by accident but I felt a need to put it here because he’s just so adorable. Even right before an episode.

E y e s s s s s

E Y E S S S S S

I desperately want to know what got Arthur sent to Arkham the first time. A suicide attempt? A public breakdown? I really want fanfics of it.

There’s a really, really good fanfiction on AO3 by Arthur_Fleck about Arthur slowly recovering and meeting a girl called In the Major and Minor Arcana

I highly, highly recommend it

Okay. Joaquin’s immersion into his characters -- all of them -- is absolutely incredible. But Arthur is just ... off the charts, man. No two of his characters are the same and he embeds himself so deeply in their skin, but Joaquin buried himself so deeply into Arthur’s brain that it is so hard for me to see any of Joaquin at all. God, he’s incredible and this shot makes me emotional because this just is Arthur.

ARTHUR WOULD BE A GREAT DAD AND I DO NOT ACCEPT ARGUMENTS

It really speaks to how shitty Gotham is that this man is having a full-fledged screaming/laughing breakdown on the bus and nobody is batting an eye

I adore how the cinematography paints Arthur as so small to his own environment. He’s a speck of dust. A fleck.

Babie is wincing :((((

I have been trying to figure out the layout of this apartment for months and my inability to, even with a floor plan, is driving me insane

I just found out that the Budweiser beer jingle Here Comes the King is on the soundtrack and plays when Arthur comes home and that made me go feral

I  A M  M U R R A Y , K I N G  O F  A S S H O L E S

It is second nature for me to do this stupid pose every time I watch this scene

Arthur blending into the crowd here makes me ... so happy. He looks so happy.

This is Arthur’s best laugh of the movie, fuck you. I am incredulous that I was the only person laughing when I saw this in the theater opening night.

This is one of the few moments I really see Joaquin shine through Arthur. I don’t know why, but this lighting and his voice and his intensity gives me visceral flashbacks to watching a little boy Joaquin in Parenthood. God, I love this man.

It really is a testament to Penny’s (lack of) parenting that Arthur is day dreaming about receiving affection and validation from a parent figure when his own mother is literally right there

GOD DAMN THIS MAN IS GORGEOUS

But also big bruise :(

Yes, I shall trust you, man named Randall smiling down at me in low angle light

Why was Hoyt not informed that Arthur got his ass beat on the job? As Arthur’s employer he should’ve literally been the first person to know so he could make a note of it. Either he wasn’t told or he gave so little of a fuck that his consciousness astral projected to another plane of existence while he shoved the white powder down his throat and forgot Arthur existed at all.

Literally fuck Hoyt. I hate him even more that his office is the coolest shit in the world

ARTHUR KNOWS THE CUSTOMER SERVICE SMILE

Joaquin dislocated his knee in this scene, the poor boy

I could write a full damn essay about why the misleading advertising of Sophie as a prominent character was the greatest twist of the whole movie. Literally I am still speechless how the movie did that.

I am not kidding when I say my sister has this same color scheme in the bathroom of our house and realizing that made me werewolf

Also Arthur being the son Penny doesn’t deserve warms and breaks my heart

The complete lack of reaction to Penny’s “Don’t you have to be funny to be a comedian” makes me laugh and cry internally

This shot? Gorgeous. His face? Deadly. That jawline? Cutting diamonds. Hotel? Trivago.

I really, really want a Joker 2, but at the same time I do not want a Joker 2 because Joaquin Phoenix has a baby who needs him now and he cannot be pulling shit like losing 52 lbs for a role

Also I REALLY need to discuss how much this brass ballet reminds me so heavily of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Holy fuck, I got actually chills in the theater

Like holy fuck

And then this shot reminds me so heavily of the opening of Fedddy vs Jason with Freddy Krueger laughing over his newspaper collage of missing children. Holy fuck I love this cinematography.

Guys. G - Guys, his name tag says Dr. Carnival, can you hear me  s o b b i n g

This part is so Chaplinesque, the way he slides the gun into his coat again

These children look so afraid of him for dropping the gun and wowie, does that really hurt

Was this asshole supposed to be modeled after Eric Trump? Because I get really douchebaggy Eric Trump vibes (minus the jacked teeth) from this ringleader

I don’t have much to say here except I am in love with the way Artie’s hair sticks straight up in bottle curls when the clown wig slides off

Also if you decide it’s a good idea to mess with a man dressed as a clown laughing maniacally on the subway of one of the most dangerous cities in the world, you are asking him to shoot you and I will not feel sorry for you

I will never not be in love with this image. I fell in love with it in the teaser trailer and almost went feral in the middle of the mall when I saw this was the poster they used to advertise the movie with. My friend described this movie as “chaos, beautified,” and nothing sums it up as well as this picture.

JOAQUIN AND TODD MADE THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE UP AND I AM IN LOVE

Hello, handsome

[365days365movies]

January 16, 2021: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

I am a massive comic book nerd. Not unusual these days, to be fair. But I’m definitely up there, as far as my obsession with Marvel and DC go. And, yeah, I stick mostly to those two houses, and their various imprints.

Why do I bring this up? Well...remember this movie?

Kick-Ass was a pretty big deal when it came out in 2010, as it was a Marvel Comics movie that was completely unrelated to the relatively new Marvel Cinematic Universe. Based of a 2008 comic book written by Mark Millar and drawn by John Romita Jr., the film was directed by Matthew Vaughn, and featured a more realistic take on how real-world superheroes would actually work.

Vaughn and Millar by this point at least, were friends. Around 2012, they’re getting drunk at a pub together, and talking movies. The topic of spy movies come up, and how there hasn’t really been a good, non-parody, fun spy movie, and that there should be. And that was the bulk of their conversation.

Enter Dave Gibbons, a legendary comic book artist, whom you may know from drawing the comic book that was turned into this:

Oh yeah, he’s a big deal. Gibbons and Millar end up getting together to write a fun spy comic book based on this idea. Vaughn, meanwhile, is getting ready to direct X-Men: Days of Future Past, the sequel to X-Men: First Class, which Vaughn directed. That’s a good movie, by the way, even if I have...issues...with the treatment of the X-Men in film. Maybe one day I’ll get into that, we’ll see what happens. Ask me about it if you’re curious.

Anyway, Millar goes to Vaughn with this script, and Vaughan looks at it and realizes that he needs to direct this movie before somebody else makes it. So he leaves Days of Future Past, and he signs on to...

I feel like it’s an obligation, as a comic book dude, to watch this film. I should also read the book, but I didn’t do that with Kick-Ass, so to hell with it! Let’s get this recap started! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Starting off with some Money for Nothing, and somewhere in the Middle East, 1997! We go into a stone temple, where some kind of mission is taking place. A surprise grenade causes the loss of one of the agents. The surviving agents are Merlin (Mark Strong), Lancelot AKA James Spencer (Jack Davenport), and Galahad, AKA Harry Hart (Colin Firth).

Hart, feeling guilty over the death of this agent, tells his wife, Michelle (Samantha Womack) and child Eggsy (yes, Eggsy) of his sacrifice, and gives Eggsy a medal.

From there, we jump forward 17 years, to Argentina where...Mark Hamill?

Holy shit, it’s Mark Hamill! Apparently, he’s playing Professor James Arnold, and being held hostage by a group of mysterious men. Just then, he’s rescued by Lancelot, showing up with some classic James Bond-style swagger and asking for a cup of sugar, sardonically.

He kicks the asses of these guys, but is SLICED IN HALF BY A MAN WITH SWORD LEGS WHAT THE FUCK????

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was watching the best thing I’ve ever goddamn seen. And as if that weren’t enough, she’s working for Samuel L. “Motherfucker” Jackson, playing Richmond Valentine. I am...I am so pleased.

We go to the Kingsmen headquarters, where Lancelot is being mourned by the Kingmen and their leader MICHAEL CAINE, REALLY, HOLY SHIT

Ahem. Sorry, uh...the star-studded cast has basically caused me to have a minor aneurysm. Caine plays Arthur, the leader of the Kingsmen. Get it? I can dig it, I’m a sucker for a good Arthurian reference. Anyway, now that Lancelot’s dead, it’s time to find a new candidate. Apparently, the man that died 17 years ago was part of an “experiment” by Hart, which Arthur says has failed. Galahad calls Arthur a snob, and says that they need to evolve with the times. \

Speaking of that former candidate, how’s his son doing?

Not stellar, it seems. His mom is dating a very unsavory gentleman, and not really taking good care of her youngest daughter. Eggsy (Taron Egerton), on the other hand, is a carefree delinquent. After engaging in an entertaining backwards car chase with the police (it’s cool), he gets arrested. He refuses to give up his friends, and he instead asks for a phone call.He looks at the medallion around his neck, and remembers that he can use the number of the back to contact someone for help. He uses a specific code phrase, but it appears not to have worked. But then, Eggsy is turned loose with little more than a phone call. That’s when Eggsy meets Hart.

We find out that Eggsy has a high IQ and Olympic-level athletics, but has dropped out of the Marines, and has been arrested for drugs and other illegal activities. After being read out by Hart, Eggsy goes on an anger-filled diatribe about the differences in privilege between the two of them. Although it’s short, it’s a powerful speech.

But that speech is interrupted by the owner of the car that Eggsy stole the previous night, as well as his gang. They’re yearning for a fight with Eggsy, and they threaten Hart. He doesn’t take that well, as he shuts the doors and windoes to the pub. Time to teach a lesson.

Yup, I’m giving this fight the posted video award. It might be short, but it’s also one of the best and coolest sequences I’ve ever seen in a spy movie. And OH, it’s giving me that gadget shit I was missing from the Bond movies.

After one of the most enjoyable fight sequences I’ve seen in a while, Eggsy’s understandably stunned. So is his stepfather Dean (Geoff Bell), the leader of the gang that Hart beat up in the pub. He’s not happy, and he beats Eggsy in their apartment, and that scene is...WHOOF. Much to their surprise, however, Hart’s left a device on Eggsy’s back. He threatens Dean through the device, and tells Eggsy to meet him at a tailor that he’d mentioned.

Once Eggsy escapes from Dean and the gang via nest parkour tricks, he makes his way to the tailor, where Hart officially brings him into the fold, giving him the opportunity to become a Kingsman. He exposits the history of the agency as a private group of spies, meant to protect the world while not bowing to the bureaucracy that plagues government-affiliated spy institutions.

We get to go to Kingsman Headquarters proper, and yeah...yeah, it’s cool. As compared to the other recruits, Eggsy’s pretty obviously out of place. This, of course, is part of the point, as Hart believes the Kingsmen could use someone with different life experiences and background. That would be the experiment mentioned earlier.

Eggsy’s competitors include Roxy (Sophie Cookson), who appears to actually be polite to him, unlike most of the potentials. They settle in for the night...but not for long. Their quarters fills with water, as the entirety of the Kingsmen head towards the showerheads and toilets for air. While they all succeed, Eggsy is the one who actually gets everyone out, by literally punching the window.

Unfortunately, for one of the candidates...it’s too late. These candidates could die in the hiring process. Rough.

Sadly, Mark Hamill also doesn’t quite make it, as Hart finds him, surprisingly freed from Valentine’s capture. As he’s questioned, Valentine is forced to kill him via Suicide Squad implant, and barely escaped from his men. Valentine and his henchwoman, Gazelle (Sofia Boutella) are trying to figure out who the Kingsmen are, to no avail at the moment.

Back with Merlin, who’s training the Kingsman candidates! They’re all told to get a puppy! Aw. Eggsy chooses J.B. a pug, under the mistaken impression that it’s a bulldog. And I’m not a pug person...but that puppy is cute as shit.

Time marches on, and the Kingsmen continue their training. Eggsy’s colleagues continue to discriminate against him, especially Charlie (Edward Holcroft). Hart, who was knocked out by the explosion, eventually wakes up. Valentine goes around to political leaders and proposes his plan to “save the world,” whatever that’s about to mean. Apparently, that includes giving the King of Sweden a surgical implant of some kind. Huh.

This, of course includes some, uh...conflict with Gazelle.

Awesome.

Eggsy’s in the final 6! As Hart congratulates him over this, we finally get some exposition on Richmond Valentine’s plan. See, that implant is the Suicide Squad bomb that killed Hamill, and Gazelle also has one. Additionally, he’s released a plan to the world that will provide free internet and phone data...forever. Not ominous at all, that.

After a cool skydiving training sequence, only three candidates are left. Hart, meanwhile, poses as a wealthy philanthropist, donating to Valentine’s cause. As a result, he’s treated to an extravagant dinner...of McDonald’s. Yes, it is the best product placement I’ve seen in a while, in case you were wondering. That reveal was hilarious.

Anyway, their conversation turns from talking about climate change studies and concerns, to their opinion of James Bond movies, in a lovely little piece of meta flavor. At this point, they would appear to understand each other’s role in the play, as it were. Forgot to mention, Valentine’s been kidnapping anyone who disagrees with his goals, while also distributing his free internet cards. So, there’s that. But he’s also trying to figure out what exactly the “Kingsmen” are. Speaking of...

Our three remaining Kingsman candidates are assigned a mission to seduce a young dignitary. However, all three of them make a mistake, and allow themselves to get drugged at a party, by someone wanting to know who Hart and Kingsmen are. When Eggsy wakes up, he’s been strapped to train tracks. Uh oh.

Despite an oncoming train, Eggsy doesn’t give the man any formation. Which, of course, was the point. It’s Hart, helping to give the Kingsman candidates a little loyalty test, which both Eggsy and Roxy pass with flying colors. But Charlie...Charlie’s a coward who immediately gives everything up, including Arthur himself.

Eggsy gets to spend 24 hours with Hart, before being thrown headfirst into a mission. Hart explains that being a Kingsman means being a gentleman, which Eggsy isn’t. Hart, of course, plans to fix that.

They head to the tailor, and check out some spy gadgets. And much to their surprise, Valentine is also there, under the guise of getting a suit. Hart takes the opportunity to recommend a hatter, who gives him a top hat with built in listening devices. I love it.

Eggsy, meanwhile, speaks with Arthur at Kingsman HQ. He’s commanded to perform one final test: kill his pug, J.B. Which...yeah, damn, that sucks. He doesn’t do it, understandably. Unfortunately...Roxy does kill her dog. She succeeds...and Eggsy’s kicked out of the Kingsman candidacy. Which feels like a bullshit play, if I’m honest.

Eggsy steals Arthur’s car, then goes back home. As he’s about to confront his stepfather, Hart brings back the car via remote access, then explains to Eggsy that the gun was filled with blanks, and that Eggsy ended up giving up his shot. He also reveals that the first candidate to die...didn’t actually die! It’s been a ruse all along, meant to test the candidates under the strictest of conditions. Which sucks, obviously, because Eggsy’s out of the program.

And at that point, Valentine says something of note, revealing that he plans to go to a hate church in Kentucky to begin his master plan. Hart heads there, and tells Eggsy to stay put.

We get treated to just...just the loveliest of sermons. Disgusting. But then...

...that’s the point, isn’t it?

Because Valentine uses the SIM cards to create a signal that drives the parishioners crazy. Hart’s also in the church, however, and he also starts going crazy. Which leaves the question: what happens when a highly trained spy goes up against untrained civilians, has a bunch of gadgets...and has absolutely no restraint whatsoever?

A MASSACRE, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. And most surprisingly, it’s a massacre that we actually SEE. Hart basically kills almost EVERYBODY in the church. I’ll put the video up, but...y’know, be warned here. It ain’t pretty.

Hart comes to, and realizes exactly what he’s done. He leaves, only to be confronted by Valentine and his men. The Bond metaphor finally comes full-circle, explained directly by Valentine. But instead of explaining his whole plan and devising some complicated way to kill Hart that he’ll inevitably escape from...

He just shoots Hart in the head. Holy shit. And this is while Merlin, Arthur, and yes, Eggsy watch on through Hart’s home feed. Looks like a new Kingsman is needed.

Arthur tells Merlin to assemble the Kingsmen. But Eggsy...Eggsy has other plans. Thinking on Hart’s words about wanting to do something good with his life. He goes to Arthur to talk to him about Hart’s death. Arthur invites him in for brandy. And that’s...when my mind exploded.

HE’S FUCKING IN ON IT?!? Michael Caine, NOOOO! Turns out that Valentine’s convinced Arthur of his true plan: a culling. He believes that the Earth’s temperature because there’s simply too much humanity, like a body trying to kill a virus. And so...he’s going to make the virus exterminate itself. And that argument’s enough to win Caine over.

Turns out that the implant is meant to protect those individuals against a neurological signal emitted by the SIM cards, the same one that went off in the church. Arthur, realizing that Eggsy understands exactly what’s going on, poisons him, then asks if he would like to join them. Eggsy refuses...and Arthur sets off the remote poison to kill him.

But NOPE! EGGSY SWITCHED THE FUCKIN’ GLASSES! I love this movie. Arthur dies, and Eggsy uses the opportunity to dig the implant from his neck. He takes that and Arthur’s phone to Merlin and Lancelot, who realize that they can’t trust anyone at this point. And so, the three of them - yes, the three of them - go to stop Valentine.

And, yeah...I can dig it. OH HOW I CAN DIG it.

Roxy goes up in an experimental vehicle to bring down the satellite, Merlin is flying the plane, and Eggsy...Eggsy’s the one going in disguised as Arthur, in order to infiltrate the mountain lair of Valentine. Here, he and the other beneficiaries wait it out, while the world literally tears itself apart. Now wearing a bespoke suit and playing the role of a gentleman, Eggsy enters the lion’s den.

But as expected, it’s time to hit some snags. Roxy waits juuuuuust a little too long, and one of the balloons in her craft pops. As for Eggsy, he meets an old “friend” of his in the form of Charlie, who’s now working for Valentine.

The missile’s fired just in time, as Charlie’s taken out and Eggsy runs for the plane. AWESOME climax here as Eggsy escapes. I mean it; it is VERY cool. They succeed JUST in time, and the satellite is destroyed. However, Valentine’s still managed to partially start the process, and they can’t do anything about that.

Eggsy’s gotta go BACK in, before Valentine gets another satellite to trigger the signal worldwide. Now armed with Hart’s AWESOME umbrella, he makes his way there under heavy gunshot. They’re also teaming up against Merlin in the plane, so he’s not doing great. And that when Eggsy has the idea...to turn the implants on. ALL of them.

It’s amazing. Violence in fireworks. So, it’s too bad that it doesn’t stop the signal. It works, and people start to tear each other apart all across the world. But only for was long as Valentine has his hands on the desk. Eggsy manages to stop that by laying down some suppressive fire.

That provokes a response.

..This movie is, for lack of a better term, fucking rad.

Gazelle and Eggsy have an awesome fight, worthy of any James Bond movie, seriously. I really want to give it the video post honor, but I’ve done that too much already. For god’s sake, I literally JUST did that.

Gazelle dies (it’s kinda goofy how she dies, if I’m honest), and Eggsy kills Valentine with her prosthetic leg. It’s over, as the signal ends, and Eggsy even gets the girl. Not Roxy, the Princess of Sweden. Not going into it, but it’s funny.

And that’s Kingsman: The Secret Service! Honestly, I gotta say, that was a rad-as-shit movie, and...

Ooh, a mid-credits scene! Eggsy goes back home, to the pub, where his stepfather and mom are hanging out with the gang. And let’s just say...Dean’s gonna get a little comeuppance. Manners, after all, maketh man.

OK, THAT’S Kingsman: The Secret Service! And that, again, was pretty rad. See you in the Epilogue in a few!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep33 S4 pt 1: Deus Ex US Military

Been a little distracted but was reminded--yo--I gotta finish S4 of Yugioh this year. I think I can do it. There’s like...what...two episodes left? Three? Like I don’t want to tempt 2020, but like...I think I can finish this thing.

That and a bunch of my Photoshop files corrupted, I don’t know why, I’m very scared for my hard drive, and I need to do a big ol defrag and hope that’s enough. Really hoping this is my bad and not my computer’s bad. I’m pretty hard on this computer when I paint digitally.

and I was immediately gifted by the anime gods because yo, it’s my favorite storyboarder! They're back to carry me through my election burn out, every episode they touch has so much style and no matter how freakin weird or confusing the plot is, this storyboarder/animation team doesn’t seem to care. They will this kids show about cards with this attention to detail. They just have a lot of enthusiasm and that’s a thing about anime that I really like to see. No matter how weird it is, you gotta go 150% without any shame. Love it. Love to see em back.

First off, that earthquake from last episode?

Just a little bigger of an earthquake than I originally thought, coincidentally, this is when Roland shows up, only to realize that he’s like...10 minutes to late.

Well, maybe a little longer than 10 minutes when you consider that Mai freakin died and Yugi almost died, and Joey is absolutely dead and being carried across Tristan’s back.

Anyway, Roland just walked into a whole lot and is just trying to process his life. Roland is all of us in October/November of 2020.

If Roland only knew how many times Seto and Mokuba have totally biffed it when he wasn’t looking.

Like for reals...how is Roland still alive? Like...I don’t think the guy has ever died. Not even once. Maybe that’s Roland’s superpower as the secret FourthKaiba, by just being the only one to stay very far away from the constant BS strewn at this family.

Roland is just...too inept to die. He’s always too far away, he comes after the big bad has already murdered a few people, he’s just...too bad at his job to ever be a target. Live long, Roland. The Kaiba who was the smartest of all by actually being the dumbest.

Also, look at him parking far enough away on the actual helicopter landing pad. He is the only ‘Kaiba’ that follows the law. This could also be the other reason for his secret to longevity.

(read more under the cut)

Faced with a stairwell between their freedom and this weird earthquake chasm that just opened on the top story of this building, Yami decides it’s his job to carry...................

...................Raphael.

(Never forget that we know the exactly weight of Yugi Muto.)

And like Yami is weirdly strong because of magic powers but like...maybe Yami should take Joey and then Tristan should pick up Raphael? I’d say Tea could also pick up Raphael, but I feel like she just wouldn’t want to.

TBQH maybe the reason that Yami is carrying Raphael is because literally no one else feels like it? Like no one likes this guy?

Just kinda feels like Yami is holding onto Raphael out of a sunk-cost fallacy. He’s already done so much work to this guy, can’t lose him now. Gotta save Raphael to make up for killing Gurimo, Weevil, and Yugi. Can’t fail a fourth time.

Anyway, you know what else this storyboarder is good at?

How did they even get reference for drawing this? They didn’t, right? They’re just so good at art that they were like “I can draw ANY person in ANY outfit straight up the crotch, I dare you.”

Seto decides to...not help out, much like virtually all of Yami’s other friends, who also just kinda...yelled and cried at this situation instead of...helping.

Which is fine, because the stairwell gave out and then Raphael decided to uhhhh throw this directly at me.

Just one more yeet for the road. Youknow this guy has yeeted the Pharaoh not once but twice in one season, and both times he just chucked him like he was made out of foam core. (Also, please admire the millennium puzzle in this shot going out at like a 90 degree angle. Just...A+, this storyboarder is hilarious)

At first, I really thought Yami was dabbing his way over that ledge.

In a moody shot with his hair and his jacket swaying in the breeze, almost designed for you to lift and stick into your Youtube AMVs, Seto looked onward and seemed...kind of bored because no one’s throwing any cards. And like who can blame him, he has been on the top of so many ledges and so many buildings that he’s seen Yami make this same speech of “DON’T DO THIS DAMN LEDGE THING I SWEAR TO GODS” like...so many times.

He just immediately accepts Yugi died and is like “Well I guess that makes me king of games.”

And Raphael, after like several minutes of begging Yami to just let him die, decides to let go of that ledge on his own, because this is Yugioh, and you gotta fit in that suicide within the first 10 minutes of the episode. Which, PS, is not the weirdest thing that happened this episode.

And because Roland is freakin late to everything, he showed he could have done this the entire time. Honestly I think Roland just didn’t want to deal with Raphael. We can blame this on Roland, right?

PS we never see this building again in this episode.

I don’t know........why they bothered showing this. If anything it makes the next plot twist more weird because it’s like...what was the point of the random ass earthquake and the random ass concept art building if we, in fact, aren’t coming back here???

I mean I guess it’s a nice shot for your Artstation portfolio, good on you, Yugioh background artist.

Unfortunately this chip contains Seto Kaiba’s greatest weakness. (SanDisk card? Jump drive? Which PS--if they had jump drives this whole time, why was Seto using floppies earlier in the season? Like what happened there?)

And then, with the hatch of their helicopter just wide open, no one in a seat belt, and walking away from the destruction of one of the largest buildings in San Fransisco, finally the cops showed up. Real cops this time, not possessed cops. Also, it’s the Marines.

Am I going to get my Monty Python ending? I mean...if cops can recognize these kids in this universe...I might get my Monty Python ending. :) :) :)

For some reason, back on the mean streets of San Fransisco with no people left alive in it, Rebecca just kinda started losing her mind. Maybe this was to make up for the 2 seasons I had to watch Duke Devlin flirt with a 12 yo? That now we have to suffer Duke saddled with this small crazy person?

This small crazy person who is painted as this intolerable person next to Duke Devlin, but is also a love interest for the main character? Like Yugi’s into some weird ass angry girls.

PS the orcs were no longer needed for the plot so they have turned into streams of light in order to join with the Leviathan mass. So now Rebecca and Duke Devlin will just have literally nothing to do for the rest of the season. I guess they can go to Ghiradelli square...someone’s gotta eat that ice cream before it melts.

Also this happened.

In case you were like “Wow Rach, you didn’t update the Death Count, how dare you”--it’s because I uh...completely forgot that the Oricalchos crew is immune to fall damage. Raphael’s just fine now. He fell down 50 stories...and then 50 stories fell on him...but don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, on the back of some aircraft carrier, far into international waters, the kids get recruited into the military of a foreign country and it’s just as weird as you think it is.

Hey guys.

So, Bandit Keith was weirdly in Hell this season for no reason, right? What if he died offscreen because, earlier in the season, the US military threw him at Dartz because they couldn’t get a hold of Yugi or Kaiba? What about that headcanon? What if that’s why his angry ghost wanted revenge?

Anyway, they join the ranks of Shadow T. Hedgehog, which makes sense because...these guys look like human OC’s of Shadow the hedgehog already.

Sorry I just had a moment because Shadow uses guns a lot despite not needing them at all so “people won’t get uncomfortable with how powerful he is” while in Yugioh they can’t even...show a gun. That really is...you ever think about how weird that is? That Shadow the Hedgehog, a strange remix of a 90′s sega mascot, has a million giant guns but Kaiba’s actual gun (which, apparently he does have in the Japanese version of this show) got edited out completely?

Sometimes it just dawns on me and I have a moment.

Now the US Military just hand delivering them to Dartz is so wild because their reason for the USA not doing anything on their own with their fleets and fleets of ships is:

Have you MET the US? I live here, and if we were like given the choice to shoot the ocean...or just die...we’d be like “wait...for reals? So no one gets hurt, we just shoot guns at the water? You mean we finally found our true calling? For REALS? I just shoot this water bucket!??? FOR REALS????” and it would become a national holiday. All pop songs would be devoted to it. Our ancestors would make movies about it.

I mean, our dumbass president considered nuking a hurricane in 2019...in case you forgot because damn, it’s been a STUPID 4 YEARS. (And you better have voted already because for reals do not make me go through 4 more years of this. I do not think this blog would survive it...or the hurricanes that will keep getting nuked.)

Also....the show actually threw the word “proof” out there. Seriously show? You OK?

I figured the mind control situation would be a better reason not to arrest Dartz other than “Dartz is just so good at covering up his tracks” when the TRACKS have a broken down Caltrain on one side of them, and the other side of the tracks have the rest of that same Caltrain at the bottom of a river.

Seto is not amused but he never is. He will take this Nobel Peace Prize and step up to the microphone at the UN and be like “I WANTED IT TO BE A CARDS PRIZE.”

PS--we HAVE a map already, right? Raphael died to give us this map--and then didn’t die, but it’s not like anyone else here knows that. So like...why did we need the US Military to show up at all? Why is this scene important? Other than to look cool, I guess? Like...

...why is the US military here we already have a Deus Ex Machina delivered by Raphael? At least that one was deserved--the whole point of that duel was to get this MAP.

A map that we are never going to use.

...There’s a good chance that two writers wrote this episode in two different buildings and just...glued the two halves together. Animation is wild. Weird ‘Cinema sins’ things like this happen...all the time. This one though, this one is kind of funny because it’s a ton of wasted effort on the very best storyboarder.

Anyway I broke this up into two segments because I’m tired, and also, while a lot of people like long posts, the smaller posts are kinda easier to read. More will be upcoming in like...I dunno it really depends on a lot of things right, now, I’ve been having a time, but at least Yugioh is always there to enjoy. Maybe I’ll need so much distraction you’ll get an update tomorrow? Good things can happen, and it’s not like I get to do anything else for Halloween.

Happy Halloween Y’all! Lets make the most of it!

(here’s a link to read these in chrono order)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[unordinaryquotes]

UnOrdinary Chapter 192 Review

-At least John can realize Zeke’s just a bitch. How long is that gonna last though? We know our supreme king will has no problem using others

-Guys I’m crying. Arlo showing the caring side of him is amazing and the fact that he only really does it for Remi is sweet.

-Remi basically saying “If it weren’t for you telling me that, I would tear John apart” I’m also glad that Arlo and Remi are continuing with Arlo’s rest period.

-Get you a blonde tsundere who calls you by a nickname when tired.

-It’s not a club, it’s a treehouse gathering. Also, not Remi’s fault that literally everyone but you likes her and is willing to go along with her ideas. John admitting he’s new is kinda crap as well, weren’t you King in your previous school, you should have some experience. Oh wait, I forgot, he spent all that time terrorizing innocent kids rather than doing anything Kingly.

-I understand him being skeptical about Arlo, but the Blyke one is stupid. Blyke tried so hard to be nice to you and apologized for what he did. I get you were going through a hard time, but you can’t ignore the effort he made.

-Holden being included in things makes me so happy. I want him to get more focus in the story and develop cute relationships with the other characters (I’m holding out for a Holden and Evie friendship)

-John’s so mad that everyone else still sees worth in Seraphina, not our fault you dropped her the moment she started challenging you. Also John finally got the idea of the Safe House right, just people hanging out in a room. Not so sure about the shitty comment though.

-John just wants people to feel as shitty as he feels so when no one takes it he gets mad. Also proof that John isn’t doing this to help students, he’s doing it to exact revenge on the people who wronged him. While I’m not a fan of the saying “An eye for an eye makes everyone blind” John isn’t just taking the Royals eyes, he’s running around stabbing passerby’s eyes as well.

-John, you have just activated the trope trap card. Because of your foolish statement Safe House will now not only succeed, but make you the biggest joke since the chicken crossed the road. Though if I were to give my real thoughts, I do think the Safe House will start off shakily but eventually evolve into a great place.

-We finally got a name for Arlo’s aunt! Aunt Valerie. Guess both her real name and code name start with a V. This also might be the most relaxed we’ve ever seen Arlo. A casual way of sitting and loose fitting clothing really makes it seem like he’s relaxing at home. It could be that he’s a lot more comfortable with his aunt, probably even more than Remi.

-These two lines...these two lines made me go ballistic. Let’s unpack this one by one. First off, Valerie and Arlo haven’t talked to each other in a while apparently. From the voice comment I’m guessing the last time they spoke was when Arlo was going through or right before his growth spurt in second year. This is interesting for two reasons. One, cause this is around the time that Arlo had to deal with all the weight of becoming King and Rei leaving. Instead of relying on anyone or even calling his aunt for advice, he took on the entire thing by himself. That’s way too much stress for any kid to handle and the fact that he wouldn’t even give a call to a respected relative shows he was dead set on doing everything by himself, which led to extreme stress and a change in personality. Second is that Arlo probably hasn’t been going home for any holidays. Normally at holidays a school like this would have the choice for kids to go home or stay on campus, and his aunt not hearing him in a while could be signifying that he hasn’t gone home during these break times. Instead, he probably spent the holidays alone (or maybe during his first year he was invited by Rei over to his home, please Uru) which worsened his lack of communication and dependency. But why wouldn’t he go home...well the next lines are interesting

-Valerie asking how is Arlo’s father seems normal on the surface but if you think about it, it’s real fucking weird. They’re in the same family aren’t they? Shouldn’t Valerie be in contact with Arlo’s father, especially if he’s her brother. This makes me think that Valerie is related to Arlo on his mom’s side which will be important later. Still, why would two family members not be in contact with each other? A reason could be that the family was broken up for whatever reason or maybe the two hate each other. Notice how Valerie doesn’t ask about Arlo’s mom, could his mom be out of the picture? Either from divorce or possibly death. Could his fixation on finding out about Rei’s death be because his own mother died at a young age. Maybe she got into an accident or was killed? Or maybe, it was suicide. That would definitely break a family apart to the point of no contact between in laws. What if Arlo’s father is abusive and drove his mom to suicide? Maybe Valerie hates his father for basically killing her sister and she tried her best to be there for her son. She probably couldn’t win a custody battle but she always tried her best to be in his life to be a positive role model. Arlo himself doesn’t seem to pleased talking about his father. A simple “He’s fine” and a curt “Great” in response. The two have probably done this a number of times, neither of them really caring about Arlo’s father.

-Why can I already see the two of them ending up at the boba store in town, with Arlo suggesting the mango boba to her and Valerie looking absolutely bewildered that he would say something like that.

-Another weird thing though is the question “Are you still going to Wellston?” Wouldn’t she have already known this. I think it’s more proof that she and Arlo’s father aren’t in contact. Also could it be that Arlo actually moved schools a lot as a kid or that his family might have a more impoverished life style that couldn’t support a high end school. (Probably not but it’s an idea)

-So Valerie’s division just so happens to transfer her to the Wellston area when only a few months ago we got that Ember report stating they’re gonna start making their moves on the Wellston targets. Suspicious. People who’ve had family in the police, are transfers like this normal?

-We’re gonna get our Arlo and Valerie meeting soon and I’m gonna be living for it. I also want Valerie and Seraphina to run into each other and have a talk. Just give Valerie a chance to show a caring side to her and maybe even info dump Arlo’s backstory to Sera. But this is all so when Valerie is revealed not only Arlo will be betrayed, but Sera too. A 2 for 1 special

-What’s this look for though? Is he getting suspicious about his aunt? Or could it be that he’s reluctant to actually meet with her? Maybe he doesn’t want her to see what he’s become. Either way, I’m expecting a lot of drama when these two meet face to face

This entire review was actually just Arlo theories, the Remi things were just a way to trick you into seeing my inane ramblings

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

[cake-writes]

Little Lies (Part Eight)

Pairings: Steve x Reader // Bucky x Reader // Slight Natasha x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Fluff, 18+

Summary: You went to Bucky when you wanted punishment. He’d be rough with you because he understood your self-loathing, and he’d leave bruises on your hips that wouldn’t go away for a week. You loved it. He didn’t.

You went to Steve when you wanted reassurance. You went to him because he liked to whisper sweet, sweet things into your ear as he made love to you. He’d tell you that you were perfect and amazing and beautiful. Then you’d get your fill, just far too much of it. He cared too much.

It all came to a head when the three of you went on a mission together. You’d done it a hundred times, even during this mess of a situation, and still neither of them was any the wiser. Your little lies always slipped right through the cracks - until one night, they didn’t.

Part Seven / Master List

October 2014

Steve had been to Italy once before, about seventy years prior, and it looked nothing like this. Instead of the leftover debris and destruction from the War, Tuscany was flourishing. The white sand beaches were clean, and the water was crystal clear, not mucked with blood and shrapnel like he’d once known it to be. On the rolling countryside were bustling vineyards, too many to count, and on the drive through you pointed out to him one in particular that had a wine with a lovely bouquet.  

He’d never been one for wine, but he thought the greenery was beautiful.

He thought that you were beautiful.

You liked to hum along to whatever tune was on the radio as he drove. Neither of you recognized most of the songs because the music was Italian – foreign – but he loved the sound of your voice, so happy and carefree. While he knew you got night terrors, he really believed that any other time you were alright. You seemed happy, at least, and when you smiled at him, it warmed his heart in a way he hadn’t felt since 1945.

Steve always drove when he was with you. He’d made a habit of it over the last year or so since you’d joined up with the Avengers. There wasn’t any real reason for it, other than that you liked it when he drove. You’d told him as much once – said so offhandedly that you trusted him to take care of you.

You’d only meant via transport, of course, but he took it to heart. He wanted to take care of you, and he did – on the battlefield and off of it. There was something about you he just couldn’t shake.

It became second nature for you to ride shotgun on missions. Every now and then, he’d relax his hand on the gear shift and his fingertips would brush against your thigh. It always made his heart race, but not as much as your casual offer to go to Italy.

You’d suggested it so naturally, so easily, like it just made sense to go on a weekend getaway – just you and him. Granted, it kind of did make sense; the two of you had an upcoming mission in France, and the commute back and forth from the States would have been exhausting. Jet lag still affected him despite the serum, let alone you.

It just made sense. It was a break from work. That was all. That was what he told himself.

You and Steve stayed in a small villa on the coast. Because it was so last minute and October was on the waning edge of peak season, it seemed like there was just the one available within the entire sleepy town; the two of you had already tried about a dozen places. The villa had just one bed, but you’d swiped your credit card and accepted the keys before he even had the chance to argue.

It was a studio: not much of a living room, because the king-sized bed took up the majority of the room and in his opinion, it looked rather dreary, really – until you gave him a knowing smile and pushed open the French doors to reveal a private beach.

Almost like you’d been here before.

The rest of that first day, you sunbathed on the beach while Steve put on an act that he was enjoying the weather – when he was really more focused on how beautiful you looked in the warm sunlight. The sunscreen and sweat made your skin glow, and the black and white striped swimsuit on your body accentuated your curves in such a way that made him struggle to keep his eyes above your shoulders. Of course, the large, floppy hat on your head helped matters a little.

The way you leaned against him to take a photo together was sweet and affectionate, and he couldn’t help but sling his arm around your shoulders. Because you couldn’t quite reach, you asked him to take the photo. It took a couple of tries because technology but he managed. Then you texted it to him and wrangled his phone from him to set it as your contact photo.

He didn’t mind at all.

That evening, you and Steve found yourselves laying on a blanket on the beach, looking up at the stars and nearly-full moon. His knuckles grazed the back of your hand, but you didn’t pull away. He didn’t have the courage to take the next step despite the fact that conversation flowed so freely between the two of you. You discussed all sorts of things, between favourite foods to worst fears, and neither of you were anything but honest.

“My greatest fear?” You sounded a little surprised at his question, and when he met your eyes, for the first time he caught a glimpse of how broken you were. Just a glimpse. Then you peered back up at the sky, focusing on nothing in particular. There was a lingering silence as you pondered his question, before you finally let out a slow, shaky breath and admitted, “I guess I just don’t want to be alone.”  

That was the very moment Steve fell in love with you.

Sometime later that night, his fingers intertwined with yours. It wasn’t sexual, but romantic. This job – this career – had a way of destroying one’s humanity and it was a small intimate gesture that both of you desperately needed.

It didn’t go any further than that.

You shared the bed because, although it wasn’t really proper, tonight you’d learned things about each other that you hadn’t told anyone before. When you lay your head on his chest, you didn’t say a thing, and he didn’t either. Instead, you let your guard down, and you fell asleep to the even sound of his beating heart and the feeling of him gently stroking your hair.

The next day, the two of you visited one of the vineyards, the one you’d pointed out on the way through. He mostly did it to appease you, but he loved the way your face lit up when you weaved your way back and forth in between the budding grape trees, almost like a dance.

The two of you were surrounded by nature: quiet, with just the chirping of the birds in the distance. You stumbled across a small clearing full of wildflowers, and by the time he found you there, you were already picking a bouquet. When he asked you why, you just smiled at him. It was a sad smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

You didn’t answer.

He plucked a single bloom from your bouquet and tucked it behind your ear. It was a simple gesture, really, but the prettiest flush came across your cheeks. Then you turned away, back to your bouquet, but you kept the flower behind your ear for the rest of the evening.  

He found you later out on the beach, barefoot and ankle-deep in the water. The hem of the long sundress you’d worn that morning to the vineyard was soaked through by the sea. You’d tossed your once-lovely bouquet into the water, the flowers and stems and petals surrounding you like some sort of water nymph – but then he caught a glimpse your tears.

Another glimpse. Another hint at who you were deep down.

“I’ll be in soon,” you promised, your voice cracking just a little.

He pretended not to notice, because you clearly didn’t want him to and not ten minutes later, you’d made your way back inside the little villa like nothing was out of the ordinary.

He didn’t pry.

You didn’t explain.

Instead, you bid him goodnight.

The two of you were woken well before sunrise for your next mission. Your pagers blared at the same time, rousing you from a sleepless night made tolerable only by Steve’s warmth. He woke just as quickly as you, or maybe he was already awake, too.

You had another nightmare that night, but he whispered sweet nothings to you that helped you back to sleep – sweet, gentle things that only a lover would say.

Once you crossed the border into France, neither of you again discussed the domestic bliss you’d shared in that little villa in Tuscany.

The honesty.

The intimacy.

At least not until the night that Bucky brought you back to them nearly two years later.

June 2016

When you woke, you were alone in an unfamiliar bedroom. It was similar to the suite that Tony had booked for the five of you, but not quite the same; maybe another hotel. Of course they would have relocated after they found out you were working for the cartel again. Their location was compromised because of you and, after you ignored their phone calls and messages, Tony may very well have disabled your phone, too. You’d never turned it back on to find out.

You were laying comfortably on a soft bed, but your hands were above your head, zip-tied to one of the metal rails of the headboard. Any other time you would have panicked, but you knew who brought you here and that knowledge had the opposite effect: it calmed you.

You could still feel the burn of Bucky’s fingers on your pulse. He quite literally had your life in his hands, and you trusted him with it. You trusted him. Part of you wondered if you were suicidal, and in some ways, you were. You hated yourself for everything you’d done – and the despite the fact that he should hate you, too, you knew he’d never hurt you.

That was when you heard heated voices start to raise in the adjacent room.

“We’re packing it in,” Tony said with finality. “We’re packing it in and taking her home. I shouldn’t have even asked her to help. I’m the one who dragged her back into—”

“It was her choice to go.” Steve sounded angry. “She killed people, Tony. We can’t just act like that didn’t happen. We can’t take her back, not without—”

“She was working an angle from the inside,” Bucky interrupted him, “or did you forget that?”

“She killed someone in cold blood tonight,” Steve argued. “You saw her, Buck. We all did. We can’t trust someone like that. We can’t.”

The way Steve’s voice cracked just slightly made you realize that he wasn’t just trying to convince them. You knew exactly why. He wasn’t just referring to what happened tonight, and that bothered you in a way that it shouldn’t have. You never used to care when you used him – and Bucky – so easily, but now, you were emotionally invested.

It got under your skin.

“I’m like that,” Natasha bit out, “and you trust me, don’t you?”

When no one responded, it all went quiet once again. You could only imagine that they’d all been sitting around the kitchen table, discussing you so casually like they would any other topic – but there was nothing casual about this conversation. It was heated and angry and even you could tell that Steve was using it to blow off steam.

You heard the sound of a chair screeching against tile, and then Steve’s voice followed, “I want to talk to her.”  

“That’s not a good idea,” Natasha warned. “You can talk to her after you’ve cooled off. Okay?”

There were another couple screeches from the other chairs, along with some clambering and Tony’s generous swearing – and then your door swung open with a particular amount of brute force that nearly knocked it off its hinges.

Steve was staring at you in a way that sent chills down your spine. Whether it was from fear or excitement, you weren’t sure, but even you could tell how angry he was.

“Steve, come on,” Natasha said, attempting to use her body as a barrier to the room. “It’s been a long day. It can wait.”

“No,” he responded, pushing his way past her. “It can’t.”

Then he slammed the door, locking it behind him. It was more a symbolic gesture than anything, because any of them could have picked the lock or just straight blown it off, but no one did.

You swallowed thickly. Steve’s presence was suddenly stifling, and you were defenseless – hands tied and no weapons, but this was Steve. You wouldn’t need them. Would you?

“Rogers,” you greeted, not nearly as evenly as you would have liked to sound.

Steve let out a long, slow breath, focusing on a particular spot of the plain white wall as he attempted to center his thoughts. It didn’t work. He’d had enough of the lies, the deceit. He hardly knew what was real and what wasn’t anymore when it came to you, and as much as that bothered him, what’s worse was that he wanted to know you – the real you – despite everything you’d done.

“Drop the act,” he ordered. “I’ve had enough of it. You lied to us.”

You lied to me.

“I didn’t lie.”

Steve said your name like a swear word, angry and bitter, and you noticeably flinched at it. “You’re still lying. You never stop, do you?”

That set you off. “If you recall, I was supposed to just be consulting—”

“Was that before or after you decided to murder someone?”

You groaned. “For fuck’s sake, Steve, I had to. If I didn’t, they would have been suspicious.”

“We don’t trade lives,” he told you coldly. “Even if they’re criminals, we don’t—”

“Says the guy who sacrificed himself to bury a plane full of bombs in the arctic—”

“Would it kill you to shut your god damn mouth and just listen to me for a minute? Christ!”

You’d seen Steve pissed off plenty of times before, but not quite like this. Even when he confronted you in that abandoned warehouse, he’d shown a little bit of restraint. He’d gripped that railing far too tightly, and you’d nearly fallen a couple stories down because of it – but now, he was absolutely on the brink of – well, something. You weren’t sure what.  

At his outburst, you couldn’t help but just stare at him, dumbfounded. It caught you off guard. 

When Steve saw that he finally had your full attention, he sank down on one side of the bed, burying his head in his hands. His shoulders sagged with exhaustion, and you wanted to reach out and touch him, comfort him, but you couldn’t because of your restraints. That was probably for the better.

His question was stupid and naïve, and he knew better, but he asked it anyway. His voice was almost inaudible. “Can I trust you?”

You still heard him plain as day and, for a moment, you didn’t respond. The pause was just long enough that he looked over at you, his eyes guarded and concerned and full of apprehension – a muddled blue. His hair was dishevelled from his anxious tendency to run his hands through it during times of high stress, and you felt the urge to comfort him even more.

Instead, you offered him that same smile you gave him in Tuscany, the one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. Another lie. “No, Stevie. You can’t.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked, then, and he was back on his feet in an instant. He didn’t spare you another glance even as he left the room, and you somehow managed to hold yourself together until he slammed the door behind him. The sharp sound of it suddenly triggered the hot tears streaming down your face, but you stayed silent. This was your burden to bear. You needed to handle it yourself.

By the time Tony checked on you some twenty minutes later, your perfect façade was back in place. You held your head high, just like always, and you joked with him about your zip ties. Tony finally released you from them because he had a soft spot for you, but it wasn’t just that.  No, your façade wasn’t perfect at all. He could see right through it.

The smeared mascara under your eyes was a clue, but your behaviour was a dead giveaway.

When you joined Steve, Bucky, and Natasha in the living room, they could see through it, too. You debriefed them on recent dealings in what you thought was a calculated, emotionless way, but it wasn’t. You didn’t notice the way your breath hitched in your throat when you recounted a murder or a shipment. You didn’t notice the anxious way you fidgeted with the blanket in your lap. You didn’t notice the pity in their eyes.

Even Bucky’s.

Even Steve’s.  

And later that night, you found yourself sneaking into Steve’s bedroom like you used to do once upon a time. It was inappropriate. It was ridiculous.

You didn’t want to be alone. 

He was wide awake this time. He heard the slight creak of his door opening, followed by your familiar footfalls on carpet; and then, when his sheets lifted, he finally glanced up at you, ready to turn you down, reject you, send you away like he should have done a hundred times before—

But the expression on your face was the most honest he’d ever seen from you. You’d been crying some more, and it wasn’t subtle like earlier. Your mascara was smeared down your cheeks, now, and your eyes were red-rimmed and teary. Even your nose was flushed.  

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled. “I’m so sorry, Stevie. Can we just… Can we pretend that we’re in Tuscany? Just for tonight?”

You didn’t want sex. You wanted intimacy.

Steve was stunned speechless. Out of all the things you’d put him through, this may have been the worst. To use him for sex was one thing, but for intimacy—

It was selfish. He hated that part of you, that selfishness, but what he hated more was that he couldn’t say no to you.

You took his silence as an immediate rejection. “God, I’m so sorry, this was stupid, I shouldn’t have—”

Steve quickly caught your hand when you turned to leave. His voice was low and rough, not from sleep but from the late hour when he spoke, “Come here.”

You were hesitant and careful when you slid into bed next to him, not wanting to broach any boundaries. In response, he exasperatedly pulled your head against his chest and started to stroke your hair just like he used to do once – and for the first time, you let your walls down around him. As you cried into the soft fabric of his shirt, he held you close. 

Neither of you said another word that night. There were three in particular sitting on the tip of his tongue, and he barely had enough sense not to say them. You put the toxic in intoxicating and despite all the pain you’d put him – them –   through over the last few months, he just couldn’t resist you.

He loved you. 

What’s worse was that he knew Bucky loved you, too.

Part Nine

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

SPN Dean Bingo Masterlist

Sensitive

Square Filled: Sex

Word Count: 840

Summary: When it comes to Dean, you’re very sensitive.

Warnings: SMUT. Just all the smut. Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex, and Over Stimulation.

Peering Eyes 

Square Filled: Jo Harvelle

Word Count: 1608

Summary: Jo complains about Y/N and Dean’s public displays of affection, so Dean decided to take the fun elsewhere, knowing a certain blonde would follow.

Warnings: SMUT, Voyeurism, Mild PDA, Dirty Talk, Begging, Teasing, Explicit Language, Slight Dom!Reader (Just a smudge), Some Fluff in the beginning, and some Crack at the end.

Idjits 

Square Filled: Bobby Singer

Word Count: 2246

Summary: Bobby’s only daughter is finally going on her first date… with a boy named Dean Winchester…

Warnings: Fluff, A Bit of Crack, Extra Protective Dad, Nervous/Scared Dean.

This Bed

Square Filled: Accidental Kiss

Word Count: 1007

Summary: You get a new bed and all you want to do is break it in with a short nap, but Dean won’t allow it… until he does.

Warnings: Slight Crack and fluff?, Steamy Make-out, Dry Humping, and Implied Foreshadowing of Smut.

Finally

Square Filled: Mutual Pining

Word Count: 2627

Summary: After what was supposed to be a one-night stand, Y/N and Dean get to know each other and eventually become friends, but as their friendship grew, so did their feelings however, neither of them knew how the other felt.

Warnings: Mentions of Cheating, Mentions of dick boyfriends, Fluff, Smut, Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex (always be safe), Consumption of alcohol, and some adult language.

Special Treat

Square Filled: Cooking Together

Word Count: 678

Summary: Dean and Y/N are in the kitchen; however, Y/N is too transfixed on what Dean is doing, needing to sate the hunger she was feeling. And it didn’t help that her boyfriend was such a tease.

Warnings: All I will say is that, my blog is an 18+ Only blog. Also, nothing triggering or too intense.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Square Filled: Free Space

Word Count: 967

Summary: You and Dean were running late for Patience’s High School Graduation Ceremony due to a Vampire case. In your haste to get ready, you realized that you’ve forgotten your duffle bag. And with the limited time that you didn’t have, you had to make due with what you had.

Warnings: Crack

Winner

Square Filled: Beer

Word Count: 1586

Summary: Playing cards with friends is one thing. Playing cards with ONLY Dean Winchester is a whole different thing, especially when one of his favorite card games happen to be strip poker. Mix that in with a little beer and nudity, and you have yourself one very entertaining night!

Warning: 18+ ONLY BLOG!

There was This Girl

Square Filled: Pie

Word Count: 4030

Summary: No matter how much time had passed and how much time had hindered their memory, it was pie that seemed always bring Dean and Y/N back together. Like the saying goes, “some things never change.”

Warnings: Fluff, Explicit Language, Under-aged Drinking, and Mentions of Relationships and Break-ups.

Back to the Beginning

Square Filled: Driving

Word Count: 2469

Summary: Dean is behind the wheel of Baby while you eventually crashed out in the passenger seat beside him. Once he was sure you were asleep, Dean took a much needed detour back to the place where the two of you first met. When you wake up, you’re excited to see where you are, but what happens inside is something you weren’t expecting.

Warnings: ALL THE FLUFF!

On Top

Square Filled: Motel Room

Word Count: 463

Summary: You, Dean, plus a motel room? Let the good times roll.

Warnings: SMUT, PWP, Filth, Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up), Some Dirty Talk, Mentions of Kinks, and Explicit Language.

Broken

Square Filled: Case Fic

Word Count: 754

Summary: After a case gone wrong, Dean breaks. The only thing that can help his is Castiel’s grace, but Sam is conflicted about it.

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Death, Implied Major Character Death, and Broken!Dean.

Brother’s Best Friend

Word Count: 4031

Square Filled: Enemies to Lovers

Summary: Dean and Sam’s best friend, Y/N, has never gotten along. It isn’t until reality sets in, that she shows up at Sam and Dean’s shared apartment in the middle of the night. Sam’s not home, she’s in tears, and despite Dean’s hate towards her, he’s too soft to turn her the other way. So what happens next?

Warnings: Dean being a dick, Reader being a Sassy Bitch, Angst, Mentions of Cheating, Arguing, Vulnerable!Reader, Explicit Language, Mentions of Alcohol Use, Fluff, Comforting!Dean, Sexual Tension, Making Out, and Implied Future Smut.

Game On

Word Count: 1905

Square Filled: Demon!Dean

Summary: After getting caught by the one Demon you were trying to catch; you find yourself in a bit of a bind. Threatening your pride, Dean suckers you into a little game, and with sheer stubbornness, you accept, and its game on from there!

Warnings: SMUT, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Light Bondage, Demon!Dean, Explicit Language, and Implied Sex.

The Call

Word Count: 2853

Square Filled: Vampire

Summary: While in the middle of a dragging vampire hunt, Dean gets a call from you, however, it wasn’t what he was expecting.

Warnings: Lots of SMUT, and a splash of Crack.

Vegas

Word Count: 1622

Square Filled: Vegas

Summary: In the city that never sleeps, you and Dean have a bit too much to drink. And without a chaperone, Dean finds himself stumbling (literally) into your hotel room… and into your bed.

Warnings: SMUT, Explicit Language, and Fluff.

The Lucky Ones

Word Count: 584

Square Filled: Soulmates AU

Summary: In a world where finding a soulmate has become extremely rare, Dean and Y/N are lucky to have found each other.

Warnings: Fluff

Hope in a Dark Place

Word Count: 1861

Square Filled: Purgatory

Summary: Stuck in Purgatory, you manage, with help from Dean, to find hope in a dark, hopeless, place.

Warnings: SMUT, Slight Angst, maybe a dash of Fluff?

A Demon’s Trap

Word Count: 1156

Square Filled: Crowley

Summary: You seek protection from Crowley, who seemed to want the same thing you and Sam did – to turn Dean back into a human, but you come to find out, you can never trust a demon, much less the King of Hell.

Warning: SMUT, Fingering, Forced Orgasms, Squirting, Oral (Male Receiving), Overall Dark Themes (because Dean’s a demon, and so is Crowley).

Girl of My Dreams

Word Count: 3828

Square Filled: Friends to Lovers

Summary: Sleeping together turns into actually sleeping together when a sleepy confession breaks all of Dean’s walls.

Warnings: Fluff, Smut (18+ ONLY), then back to Fluff! Unprotected Sex (wrap it up kids!), Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Masturbation, and Slight Language.

Sore Loser

Word Count: 870

Square Filled: Hustling Pool

Summary: Y/N learns a few new tricks and hustles Dean, the king of pool, out of all his money.

Warning: Fluff, Gambling (is hustling money is considered gambling?), Some Crack, Dean being Petty.

The Monster Story

Word Count: 751

Square Filled: Ghoul

Summary: You tell a dramatic story about a mundane hunt you and the Winchester’s went on many years ago to your three-year old daughter. Dean helps…

Warning: Fluff? Crack? Angst if you squint? Scarring a toddler (possibly) for life?

End of the World

Word Count: 2392

Square Filled: Nightmare

Summary: It’s “The End” as God nicely put it… and it seems like it really is the end… for everyone. 

Warnings: Angst, Explicit Language, Major Character Death, TW: Suicide, Mentions of Death, Blood, and again, a lot of Angst. This whole thing is just angst. Maybe fluff if you squint?

My Girl

Word Count: 1600

Square Filled: Childhood Friends

Summary: There are rumors going around the neighborhood that Dean was coming back home to Lawrence for a visit. Needing clarification of said rumors, you made your way to the Winchester house. When you arrived, your question was quickly answered and then some.

Warnings: Fluff, Eavesdropping, Angst if you squint, and just really cheesy stuff (that I can’t get enough of.)

Rings

Word Count: 1957

Square Filled: Fake Marriage

Summary: “What happens when the right guy comes along, see’s that ring, and high tails it out here?” – “I never thought about that. I guess, if he’s the right one, he’d stick around long enough to find out that the ring is a fake.”

Warnings: Fluff, Dash of Angst, Douche Bags, Rifle, Threats, Drunk Guys, Gross Guys, Some Explicit Language, and Lying…

[unfolded73]

How Do We Get Back (8/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one.

Rated explicit. This chapter 3.3k words. So you know how my summary has always referred to a “terrible tragedy”? Ummm... here we go.   (ao3)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

_____________________________________

Chapter 8

Spring arrived in New York on muddy, wet feet, pouring down from the sky in day after day of rain. As David dragged himself from his empty apartment to his empty gallery and back (when he bothered opening the gallery at all), he found the rain to be perversely appropriate. The grayness, the lack of sunshine for days at a time fit his mood perfectly.

He knew he needed to stop hibernating alone, that he needed to put himself out there — go to a bar or at least open Tinder and swipe right on someone. But it felt like more than he could possibly handle, and so he stayed in his solitary cocoon. Friends would call or text sometimes, telling him to get his ass down to this or that party, but that too felt like it would require more energy than he could muster.

He rewatched Downton Abbey during those weeks, starting over with the first series as soon as he came to the end, and when he didn’t have the TV on, he wrote and wrote in his journals, filling two full books in February and March. He wrote about the way he was feeling, the heaviness on his heart that he couldn’t explain, and the way the thought of resuming his old dating habits, with its revolving door of shallow people, made him feel like crying. He wrote about the fact that his entire professional life had been a lie, propped up by his deceitful parents. And he wrote about Patrick.

There was a part of David that wished he and Patrick had never met. It was unfair that a person who’d been in his life for not even 36 hours could have made such an impression, could have left him feeling so abandoned when he had absolutely no right to feel abandoned. Patrick didn’t owe him anything, and what else was he supposed to do other than go back to his small-town Canadian life? But David couldn’t stop thinking about him, couldn’t stop unlocking his phone and looking at the few texts they’d exchanged, couldn’t help wondering what would happen if he texted Patrick now. He was too afraid to find out.

~*~

“Patrick, would you like some eggs?” his mother asked as he descended the stairs.

“Mom, I’ve told you that you don’t need to cook for me. I’m trying not to be an imposition,” he said, sitting down at the kitchen table to put on his shoes.

“You’re our son, not an imposition. And I’m making eggs anyway.” She gave him an exasperated but fond smile. “Where are you headed so early on a Saturday?”

“I’ve got more apartments to look at.” He’d been staying with his parents for several weeks and trying to find a more permanent place when he had the time and energy. So far the apartments he’d seen had been nice, but out of his price range, since he was still paying half the rent at the apartment where Rachel was living.

Marcy shot him a sad look. “You don’t have to run out and get another apartment; you can stay here for as long as you need to, until you and Rachel have a chance to work through everything.”

“I’ve told you that’s not going to happen.” When he’d shown up on their doorstep, teary-eyed and exhausted, his parents seemed to have resolved to let him figure things out on his own without commenting on his personal life. Apparently that resolve was crumbling as the weeks stretched out and he wasn’t reconciling with his wife.

“What’s not going to happen?” his dad asked as he came in from the back door, where he’d no doubt been up early trying to get a jump on preparing the yard for spring.

Marcy pulled an egg carton from the fridge and cracked two more eggs into a bowl. “I was just saying that Patrick doesn’t need to rush out and get another apartment. He has an apartment with his wife.”

“Which I’m going to be moving out of permanently once I get my own place,” Patrick said, picking up the newspaper to give his hands something to do. Every article on the front page detailed another horror. The rise of a new extremist sect in Syria that even ISIS was afraid of. Drought in California that threatened the world’s food supply. A mass suicide in China by some group called the Acolytes of King Yan. Bushfires in Australia. Patrick pushed the paper away.

He could see his parents exchange a look in his peripheral vision. “Patrick, I’ve spoken to Rachel a few times,” his mother said, and Patrick’s heart began to race. Had she told them what he’d done?

“What did she say?” he asked, terrified of the answer.

“She won’t say what happened, but I’ve never heard her so convinced that things aren’t going to work out between you two.” His mother abandoned the eggs she was whisking and sat down at the table next to him. “But for as long as you’ve been together, I can’t imagine that there’s no way to work things out. Whatever happened—”

“We aren’t going to work things out because I never should have been with her in the first place. Because I’m gay,” he blurted, his hands clutching together. Patrick sat there in the moment that hung silently after those words had left his mouth, in utter shock at himself.

“What makes you say that?” his father said and then chuckled uncomfortably.

Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound, Patrick thought. “There was a guy I met in February, and if love at first sight were a real thing, then I swear that’s what I experienced. I cheated on Rachel. And I realized the reason things have never felt right with her. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, but I’ve spent a lot of time soul-searching the past few weeks, and thinking about my past and some of the… some of the other men I’ve known, and… this is who I am.”

His parents were looking at each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes. The other thing Patrick had thought a lot about over the past few weeks was whether his parents were homophobic. He didn’t think so — he knew they were good people — but the fear of rejection clawed at his throat as he sat and waited for them to react.

The first thing that happened was that his mother reached for his hand. “Oh, sweetheart. First of all, know that we love you.” She looked up at Clint, who nodded. “And second of all, this must be very difficult and very confusing, so know that we’re here for you.”

“This man you mentioned, are you… still seeing him?” Clint asked.

Patrick looked down at the table. “No.” He wished he could say yes. He still thought about David every day.

“Rachel knows?” Marcy asked.

He nodded. “I told her everything.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with this alone. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have been pushing you to patch things up.”

“Yeah, you did that a lot over the years,” Patrick said, and then immediately regretted it as Marcy’s face fell. “But you didn’t know. How could you? I didn’t even know.” He stood up, anxious to put an end to this conversation. The best thing he could probably do at this point was to give his parents a little while to process. “I’m going to be late for my first appointment, but I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Oh!” Marcy looked at the clock. “What about breakfast?”

“Sorry, I’ll grab something later,” Patrick said, and then found himself pulled into a hug by his mother before he quite knew what was happening.

“We love you so much, sweet boy,” she said. “That will never change, you hear me?”

Patrick nodded. He felt his father’s hand, a comforting weight on his shoulder, and Patrick sagged with relief. He’d told them. He’d come out, and his parents had taken it pretty well.

Once he was sitting in his car, he pulled out his phone and sent Rachel a text.

I came out to my parents. You don’t have to keep it a secret anymore if you don’t want to.

The receipt appeared, indicating she’d read the text, but she didn’t respond. Not that he deserved a response from Rachel — it was enough to know that the message was delivered.

He then switched over to a text chain with Stevie. Her deadpan jokes and the occasional stupid meme she’d send him had been getting him through the last few weeks.

I told my parents I’m gay, he wrote. It was getting a little easier each time he said it. She didn’t respond immediately, so Patrick put his phone in the cup holder and started his car, backing out of the driveway to drive to a block of apartments on the other side of town. When he arrived, there was a message waiting from Stevie.

how’d it go?

[Patrick] Not bad, considering.

[Stevie] i’m proud of u 🌈

Smiling for the first time days, Patrick got out of the car and walked up to the apartment building with a bit of a spring in his step.

~*~

David winced as he walked into the club, the thumping techno beat and strobing lights already giving him a headache before the night had even started. Attractive men and women filled the dancefloor and clustered around the bar, an orgy of attempted human connection. Immediately regretting his decision to leave his apartment, David made his way to the bar and ordered a martini, the most efficient vehicle for feeding alcohol into his bloodstream short of an IV. While he waited, he looked around the room, automatically cataloging the designer clothes on display. Seeing a few interesting pieces that he didn’t recognize, David made a mental note to do some serious shopping soon. His hibernation meant he’d fallen out of the loop on a number of fronts, and fashion was foremost among them. He nodded to himself; a day of shopping on Fifth Avenue was perhaps just what he needed to shake himself out of this funk. His drink arrived, and he handed over his credit card, telling the bartender to open a tab, before he set off toward the back of the club.

“David, darling!” A tall woman in a black jumpsuit was waving him over to one of the large roped-off booths. “I told you I could get him to emerge at last.”

He went where he was being summoned, giving her a tiny wave. “I can never pass up an invitation from you, Diana.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve passed up a few, David, but I suppose I’ll forgive you. What have you been up to this season?”

“Just taking some time for me, you know?” He didn’t have to tell her that ‘me’ time was bingeing on Netflix and junk food and sleeping ten hours a day.

David fell into the rhythm of meaningless patter that this crowd of people required: name drops and salacious gossip and loudly proclaimed, buzzword-filled opinions about art or books or film. He bought rounds of drinks for the group, more rounds than anyone else paid for, because he was David Rose and that’s what David Rose did. That was why he was invited to things, he suspected. Not because any of these people gave a damn whether he lived or died.

“David!”

He knew the voice before he even turned around, the raspy scrape of it was like a sharp stick between his shoulder blades.

“Sebastian,” he said, trying to keep his own voice even and unaffected by the presence of his ex. “I didn’t know you were in New York.”

“I wasn’t until recently. Vanity Fair hired me to photograph Jack Dorsey’s spiritual awakening in Tibet, so I was out there for a while. Really beautiful, haunting stuff,” Sebastian said as he plucked an olive out of David’s drink and put it in his own mouth.

David narrowed his eyes. “Can a person have a spiritual awakening when it’s being documented for Vanity Fair, though?”

“How are you? People are saying you might close the gallery.”

David’s mouth dropped open. “I’m not closing the gallery,” he said. Surely the fact that his father’s business manager had advised him to do exactly that couldn’t be public knowledge.

“Okay, good.” Sebastian put an arm around him in a possessive move that made David cringe. “You know how these rumors get started. Must be because it’s been closed a lot lately? That’s what I heard. And that you haven’t hosted an opening in a while.”

Sebastian Raine may have only been back in town for a short time, but apparently it was enough time to collect a whole set of sharp darts for him to throw straight and true into the heart of David’s insecurities.

“Can I get you another drink? Sebastian asked.

David looked down at his mostly-full glass. “No, I’m good.”

He thought about Patrick suddenly, and how refreshing it had been to talk to someone whose every remark wasn’t calculated to cut him down and play on his weaknesses, or to just get him wasted. The gnawing empty hole in his heart that he’d been living with for weeks widened a tiny fraction.

“I spent a lot of my time in Tibet just, feeding my soul, you know?”

“Mm hmm,” David said.

“It made me see a lot of the things that happened in the past in a new light. Us, for example. I want you to know that I care about what happened between you and me. And while my therapist said I should never feel sorrow, I do appreciate your pain.”

“I’m not feeling any pain about the past, Sebastian,” David said. “Not anymore.” Not about you.

“That’s good, David, that’s so good.” He felt Sebastian’s hand slide down his back. “It really frees you to… pursue your desires without baggage.”

David almost laughed. Sebastian’s attempt at seduction was so obvious, and it made him wonder if he had always been this stupidly transparent. What exactly had he seen in this self-important douchebag?

Nodding, David took a large step away from Sebastian, shaking off his arm. “It really does. It makes a lot of things very clear.” Looking around at the other people whose drinks he’d been buying all night, David frowned. What am I doing here?

“Diana? I’m gonna head out,” he called.

“Oh, David, the night is so young!” she said with a fake pout, but then someone else lured her attention and she appeared to immediately forget he existed.

“Can I walk you home?” Sebastian asked.

“Nope.” David said as he pulled on his leather jacket. “I’m good.”

The look of confused disappointment on Sebastian’s face would keep David warm for weeks, he thought as he went over to the bar to close out his tab, a half-smile on his face. Traversing the few blocks back to his apartment, David held his head higher than he had in months.

As he unlocked his apartment door, his phone buzzed with an incoming call. Dad, it said on the screen. Why on earth would his father be calling him at midnight, he thought with annoyance, answering the phone.

“Hi, what?” David dropped his keys into a bowl on the table in the foyer and began shrugging out of his jacket.

There was a pause. “David, are you at your apartment?”

His father’s voice sounded weird. “Yeah, I just got home, why?” He could hear what he thought was his mother in the background, but it was almost like a whimpering, keening noise. Then it faded, like his father was moving farther away from her. “What’s wrong with Mom now?” David asked, figuring she’d failed to get cast in a role she wanted, or that the cleaners had ruined one of her favorite outfits.

“David, can you sit down? I need you to be… I need you to sit down.”

David stood in the middle of the living room, looking out the dark windows of his apartment. “I am sitting down,” he lied. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s Alexis.” He swallowed so loudly that the phone picked up the sound. “David, she…”

“Oh my God, spit it out!” David’s pulse had started to race. Surely she was fine, though, right? She was fine. She was always fine.

“She was on a yacht with some friends, and… they don’t know how it happened, but she fell overboard and no one realized it. It was dark, I guess, and people were drunk…”

David’s vision started to narrow, whiteness filling his periphery. “Is she…?”

“She drowned, David. Alexis… she drowned.”

His body was breaking out in a cold sweat. It felt like a sudden onset of the flu. Or like he’d felt when he was thirteen and had broken his nose, the blood pouring down onto his white T-shirt.

“David, did you hear what I said?” His father’s voice sounded like it was coming to him from the bottom of a well.

“What do you mean, she drowned? Are they sure, or can they just not find her?”

“They found her.”

Her body, that’s what he wasn’t saying. They found her body.

David sagged, catching himself with a hand gripping the back of the sofa. His eyes followed the zig zagging pattern on the rug under his feet. back and forth and back and forth and....

“David?” Johnny said softly. “Are you there?”

“I think I might be sick,” David whispered.

“Okay. That’s okay, son.”

Still holding the phone to his ear, David stumbled into the bathroom and leaned over the sink. He knew it would be better to kneel down next to the toilet, but he felt like if he got down on the floor he might just never get up again. “What do we do?” he asked his father.

“We have to arrange to have her…” Johnny paused and cleared his throat. “We have to have her body flown back to the States, so I’ve been on the phone with the U.S. consulate in Mexico, and also with the airline—” Johnny seemed to lose his voice on the last word, like he’d suddenly been sealed under a bell jar. David looked up at his face in the mirror. His stubble stood out harshly against his over-pale face, the mole on his chin that he’d nicked shaving dozens of times even more noticeable than usual.

“Is Mom…?” David asked.

“She’s taken a sleeping pill.”

“I’ll come up there… now. I’ll come up there now.”

“I can send a limo to get you,” Johnny said.

David considered refusing that offer, but he imagined getting on a train and just the thought brought him closer to vomiting. “Okay.”

He hung up the phone without saying goodbye, setting it carefully on the vanity before finally sliding to the floor.

~*~

“Stevie?” Patrick said into the phone. “I’ve literally never seen you use a phone as a phone, what’s wrong?”

“Remember when you told me to google that guy? David Rose, right?”

Patrick’s eyebrows shot up, and he paused midway through pouring himself a cup of coffee from the office coffee pot. “Yeah?”

“To be honest, I forgot immediately and never did it. But I just saw something online, and… this is the David Rose whose sister is Alexis Rose, right? The socialite?”

She said that like he should have heard of Alexis outside of meeting her, but he never had. “Yeah, his sister is named Alexis.”

“It’s all over twitter. Patrick, she died in a boating accident.”

Chapter 9

.......

I know, guys. I know. Just repeat to yourself that this universe is wrong, and please don't yell at me too much!

[scoutception]

Final Fantasy Type-0 review: Depression central

If there’s one Final Fantasy subseries whose fate gets me feeling down, it’s the Fabula Nova Crystallis series, a novel and ambitious concept based around various games and stories of different settings and casts of characters, but sharing common themes and mythos, putting them in different contexts in each. While a fascinating idea, it ran into nothing but trouble with each of its entries, with Final Fantasy XIII and its sequels being very divisive, to say the least, Final Fantasy Versus XIII running into an infamously extended development hell, only to finally emerge as Final Fantasy XV, now almost completely separate from its original concept, and the final big entry, Final Fantasy Type-0, vanishing until 5 years after its announcement in 2006, as a PSP exclusive that only came out in Japan, a rarity for the series when it comes to its higher profile spinoffs. Thankfully, in 2015, Type-0 got a remaster on the PS4, Xbox One, and PC, finally allowing other audiences to enjoy it. Was it worth the almost 10 year wait? Well, that’s something we’re about to find out now.

Story:

Final Fantasy Type-0 takes place on the world of Orience, divided into 4 great nations blessed with Crystals: the Dominion of Rubrum, a place for the study and teaching of magic granted by the Vermilion Bird crystal, the Kingdom of Concordia, a female led monarchy able to communicate and control monsters and, more importantly, dragons, and home to the Azure Dragon crystal, the Militesi Empire, a technologically advanced state able to produce great machines of war known as Magitek Armors, or MAs, through the power of their White Tiger crystal, and the Lorican Alliance, whose citizens are much larger and powerful than any other in Orience thanks to their more direct connection to their Black Tortoise crystal. Orience is, unfortunately, not a place of peace, with each of the 4 crystal states wishing to unite Orience under them, and making plenty of attempts to in the past. The motive behind this is the legend of the Agito, a messiah said to appear during Tempus Finis, an apocalyptic event prophesied in the somewhat dubious, yet widely believed, Nameless Tome, with every crystal state seeing it as their divine duty to create Agito, to the point of Rubrum training so called Agito cadets from its brightest and most magically adept citizens.

The story opens with yet another war being started in the year 842 by Milites, whose emperor has been deposed by the brilliant and ambitious Imperial Marshall Cid Aulstyne (Final Fantasy games have a tradition of having a character named Cid somewhere, and finally, he made it as main antagonist), who immediately sets out to attack Rubrum. What would otherwise be a “normal” invasion quickly turns disastrous for Rubrum when Milites unleashed a new device called a crystal jammer, which cuts Rubrum’s legionnaires from their connection to the crystal, rendering them helpless before the Militesi invaders. Even worse, Milites also deploys a l’cie, a human chosen by their nation’s crystal to become its direct servant, in exchange for immense power and near immortality, the use of which in warfare was mutually banned by each of the 4 nations. Just when Rubrum seems doomed, the mysterious Class Zero arrives, 12 cadets who are unaffected by the crystal jammer, raised by Rubrum’s even more mysterious archsorceress, Arecia Al-Rashia, who proceed to liberate the capital, Akademia. Now, with the addition of two promising but otherwise normal cadets, Machina Kunagiri and Rem Tokimiya, Class Zero becomes a vital part in Rubrum’s efforts to reclaim their lost land and defeat Milites, once and for all.

To just come out and say it, the story’s biggest weakness is the cast, or, more specifically, its use of the cast. While the playable cast alone is certainly large, at 14 characters, and the supporting cast only grows from there, almost nobody gets proper focus. The main 12 members of Class Zero, named after playing cards, consists of Ace, Deuce, Trey, Cater, Cinque, Sice, Seven, Eight, Nine, Jack, Queen, and King, and despite being the “proper” members of Class Zero, they all only have a few character traits each. Trey is a knowledgeable type that tends to ramble, Sice is an arrogant loner, Nine is a violent muscle head, Cinque is nice, but downright weird, and so on. While after a while they all grew on me, it’s still pretty unsatisfying, especially when Ace, the face of the game, gets neglected just as badly. The supporting cast gets it even worse, as outside of Arecia and Class Zero’s commanding officer, Kurasame, most of everyone else that’s notable either has minimal at best story presence, or doesn’t show up in the story, period, being relegated to sidequests. Ultimately, the most focused on characters are the two “normal” people in Class Zero, Machina and Rem, which kinda makes sense, giving a more grounded air compared to off how putting the others can be to begin with, but even they don’t work out quite well. While Rem is fine, she doesn’t do very much interesting with the time she gets, while Machina, on the other hand, is very, very unlikeable to the point of hurting the story, whether it be his own cold attitude or broodiness to put the usual RPG protagonist stereotype to shame, he ends up way more unsympathetic than near anyone else in the story, even most of the antagonists. While the cast overall is definitely flawed, though, they’re definitely entertaining at a lot of points, whether they come from the main cast, mostly Trey or Cinque, or from some of the side characters, mainly the extremely greedy Carla and, most memorably to me, the paranoid, bombing throwing Mutsuki.

Since the story doesn’t focus on the characters very much, the main focus is instead the war itself. While it definitely has a few twists and turns, especially starting in chapter 4, overall, the battles and events of the war aren’t the most interesting subject by itself. More interesting is the elements around the war. This is by far one of, if not the darkest game in the franchise, and it doesn’t shy away from showing just how messed up Orience is. Rubrum’s main strength comes in the form of its Agito cadets, meaning, teenagers, as young as 14, at that, and the tactics the military uses means they tend to die in droves. Even when it’s technically pragmatic, between magic proficiency peaking at teen years and decreasing with age, plus not having many other means to resistance, it’s still very uncomfortable, and keep in mind, this is what the good guys, or the relative ones, get up to. Milites, meanwhile, is all too happy to deploy superweapons, such as literal nukes, and its soldiers are disturbingly fanatic, being more than happy to massacre towns, and even refer to Class Zero as demons. Class Zero themselves were raised to be soliders, and feel almost nothing in battle, and Rubrum’s leadership are paranoid and petty, to the point of the military commander actively trying to get Class Zero killed out of pure spite. Eidolons, extremely powerful monsters able to be summoned by mages, demand the lives of their summoners, and there are outright suicide squads of cadets who are only meant to summon more powerful Eidolons. Additionally, a very important plot point is that the crystals automatically erase the memories of anyone who dies from everyone’s minds, to the point Rubrum’s citizens need to wear dog tags just so it can be confirmed they even existed after they die. While they try to justify it as a blessing from the crystals that allows people to move on and not be held back by the dead, all it’s done is completely desensitize Orience to death, and having characters casually talk about being informed of their friends or family dying, and not feeling a single thing, is pretty disturbing, especially when it’s named character involved. It does a very good job of showing how constant warring and lack of reverence for the dead has corrupted this world, even when many of the characters affected still remain sympathetic.

Unfortunately, the biggest flaw of the story to me is that there simply isn’t a lot of it to be found, at least in regards to the main story. While the game is comprised of 8 chapters, that’s more than a little inaccurate, as half of those consist of a short introduction and a singular mission, rather than the 2 or 3 missions in the rest of the chapters. The story only really gets moving in chapter 4, and even then, many important points aren’t addressed until chapter 8, which is a downright bizarre and sudden change of subject and tone compared to the rest of the game, to the point a second playthrough is required because of how many holes are left otherwise, and even then, it can be a bit difficult to figure out just what is going on. The biggest achievement of the writing, on the other hand, is the lore of the setting. Orience is a fascinating world, with a detailed history of each nation, plenty of info to find on the various characters, and examinations of the various enemies of the game, all stored in a book in the hub called the Rubicus. It’s also quite interesting seeing the perspective flip compared to Final Fantasy XIII; instead of l’cie “merely” being granted the use of magic, and quickly going through their usefulness, at least by their masters’ consideration, along with the main cast being comprised of them, l’cie in Type-0 are near demigods who often live hundreds of years, and are just as fearsome to the party as to everyone else, for instance. Overall, though, while there are certainly many problems with the writing, I can’t help but say it works quite well regardless. Even with the limited time for both the story itself and the characters, it still builds a cast worth rooting for throughout the horrible situations, and an effective atmosphere that’s quite good at leaving you feeling somber. Moments like the entirety of the opening chapter, showing the utter devastation inflicted on Akademia in a mere three hours, and the various costly, large battles are very effective moments, and the ending is easily one of the saddest endings I’ve seen in a video game, for all the right reasons. Even the final chapter, odd as it is, has a lot of cool revelations and setpieces to me, at least now that I comprehend it.

Gameplay:

Type-0 is an action RPG that has you control the 14 members of Class Zero on various missions, each one possessing a different weapon. Ace uses cards, Deuce uses a flute (I swear they aren’t all this weird), Trey uses a bow, Cater uses a magic infused pistol, Cinque uses a mace, Sice uses a scythe, Seven uses a whipblade, Eight fights with his bare hands, Nine uses a lance, Jack uses a katana, Queen uses a longsword, King uses dual revolvers, Machina uses dual rapiers, and Rem uses dual daggers. Each one possesses a vastly different moveset and playstyle, such as Cinque being slow, but strong and tanky, Sice encouraging an aggressive hit and run style of play, even getting stronger for the more enemies she defeats while taking minimal hits, Trey excelling at range to a much degree than anyone else, while being near helpless up close, and Deuce being more of a supporter, having great support abilities, while her attacks are fairly weird to get used to, though effective on their own once you understand them. Despite the huge amount of characters, they’re actually fairly well balanced, all of them having important strengths and weaknesses, and while some can definitely be better than others, with Trey in particular coming to mind, possessing absurd range and the ability to charge his shots, it’s never quite game breaking. You can have up to three characters in your party, though their AI isn’t exactly great. They can certainly distract enemies well, and will make sure to heal you if your HP gets low, they don’t tend to be aggressive, and are terrible at avoiding the attacks of most enemies more complex than your average imperial trooper, and are near guaranteed to die to bosses. Speaking of which, the main wrinkle is that, while it varies, overall, your characters are not very durable, and in fact take hits about as well as wet toilet paper when faced with most enemies. This is balanced by the sheer amount of people you have. One person dies on a mission, don’t sweat it, you’ve got 13 backups. Of course, this also encourages training them all up and learning to play them as well, which is complicated by only characters in the active party gaining experience. Leveling up, in addition to granting the usual stat boosts, also grants ability points, which you can use to purchase or upgrade command or passive abilities and moves.

While just attacking enemies normally is decently effective, it can put you in unnecessary danger, and while you do have items like potions you can use to restore your health quickly, the most efficient way to fight is to use breaksights and killsights. Every enemy has at least one attack that leaves them vulnerable for a short time either before or after using said attacking. Hitting them during this period will trigger a break, or, if their health is low enough, killsight. Breaksights take a good chunk of their health away and stuns them, giving you a chance to attack them freely, while killsights just kill them outright. This one mechanic adds a lot to the gameplay, encouraging you to learn enemy patterns and attacks to see when they are vulnerable, and getting the timing down can make otherwise fearsome enemies easy to take care of. Of course, some enemies won’t take this very well, and may counterattack or even go into berserk states after recovering from breaksights, so you still have to be careful. Every character has 4 commands: regular attacks with their weapons, 2 slots that can either hold abilities or offensive magic spells, and a defensive command, whether it be the cure spell to restore health, putting up a magic wall to nullify some attacks, or just flat out blocking, which, while still causing you to suffer damage, prevents being knocked down, letting you score breaksights easier than if you were to simply dodge. Magic can be upgraded by harvesting phantoma from dead enemies, coming in various types like red for fire magic, green for defensive magic, and purple for unique spells. While powerful, magic usually takes a large chunk out of your magic points, meaning it’s better to save it for more dire situations, though harvesting phantoma restores small amounts of MP. As for equipment, aside from weapons, you have access to accessories that do things such as increasing HP by a certain percentage, giving immunity to status effects, or raising defense, though everyone can only have 2 accessories at a time. You also have three different squad commands: triad maneuver, which simply causes the party to do 3 powerful, rapid attacks, Eidolon, which summons an Eidolon you can control for a short time, in exchange for KOing the character that summoned it, and Vermilion Bird, a powerful spell that, to actually become powerful, has to be upgraded using crystal shards, which, while fairly easy to get most of the time, aren’t very numerous.

Type-0 uses a mission system, throwing you into various locations to complete objectives, though it usually equates to to reach the end of the area and kill an enemy commander. Most locations are pretty linear, though they all have a few side areas you can go to, usually for more items. You get graded based on how fast you completed the mission, how much phantoma you harvested, and how many party members got KOed during the mission, with getting the best rank on all three categories getting you an S rank, which gives a bonus item. Beating each mission on a difficulty above easy also unlocks other bonuses, whether they be additional items up for purchase or unlocking new spells or Eidolons, or just flat giving you a rare item. Completing missions also gives you money, with more the higher the difficulty and the higher your rank. Speaking of difficulties, there are 4 of them: cadet, which is just easy mode, officer, normal mode, Agito mode, which is a hard mode that makes every enemy 30 levels higher than on cadet and officer, and Finis, which is only available after completing the game once, and is, just plain absurd. All enemies have their levels increased by 50, they’re in permanent rage mode, causing them to move twice as fast and hurt twice as much, and you’re restricted to only being able to use one person per mission. It’s not much worth the effort. Aside from completing missions, your main source of items, magic, and Eidolons is from completing special orders, optional objectives that can pop up in various areas. While there’s various generic, white orders that only give items at the end of the mission for doing stuff like not getting hit for 30 seconds or not using magic for a few minutes, there are also specific, red ones with more specific objectives like taking out certain enemies, that give out better rewards. The main problem with accepting them is that, if you fail to complete them, you risk instant being killed over it, though you can avoid it you’re fast enough, as it’s delivered through portals on the ground.

In between missions, you’re allowed to explore Akademia, chatting with NPCs or party members, or engaging in “free time events” which are either conversations with random people, or cutscenes that tend to have much more interesting information. You only have a limited amount of hours until the next story mission starts, with each event taking two hours away, though time doesn’t pass just running around and talking to people without events. While a neat concept that could easily be like Persona, in practice, it doesn’t add much. While you can get some interesting information at times, and doing events also gives you items, it’s not very in depth otherwise. Even the sidequests with the more prominent side characters just consist doing their events whenever they’re available and doing a sidequest for them, eventually getting admittedly very good bonuses at the end of their little storylines. The other thing you can do with your free time is go out into the world map, where you can visit extremely small towns, get into random encounters, visit dungeons, and... not much else. While the world map isn’t tiny, there’s just not much to find. While there’s many towns, they are, again, tiny, only consisting of a single small area with a shop or two, a sidequest, and a little unofficial side quest to get a l’cie stone, which can be traded into a certain NPC to unlock lore entries in the Rubicus. There’s just not much of interest, and you’re very heavily restricted in where you’re allowed to even go on the world map, only being able to go to areas officially reclaimed by Rubrum, or that are the destination of the current story mission. Only in chapter 7 do you finally get some kind of freedom, to the point of being able to gain an airship to allow easy traversal of the world. Plus, most dungeons aren’t even meant to be explored on a first playthrough, with only about one or two being reasonable at that point, not that there’s even much to find besides l’cie stones and a chance at a rare item, emphasis on chance, since they’re always in a specific chest at the end that can only be opened once without reloading your save, and the chance of getting the most valuable item from them is rather low.

As for other activities, you can train in the arena, for downright piddly gains, or take on sidequests, most of which just contain of going out and defeating a certain amount of specific enemies, giving over items, and so forth. Most rewards aren’t great, but a few, namely from the more notable characters like the leaders of Rubrum, Kurasame, and Arecia, give very notable rewards. Sidequests don’t take time to do, but often require you to leave Akademia, meaning you need to weigh the time lost going out to do the quests against the time you could use doing events, which is difficult when you don’t know just what rewards either give out. When it comes mission time, though, you gotta venture out on the world map to your next destination. Speaking of the world map, along with the regular missions, there are also RTS style missions, where you, controlling a party member on the world map, help the dominion army reclaim forts and towns by taking out enemies and having units generated by controlled areas weaken said areas until you can invade them in a regular mission style. Instead of being graded on phantoma harvested, you’re instead graded on objectives completed, as occasionally you’ll get orders to do stuff like defend a fort for a specific amount of time or taking out a large enemy. While technically optional, you get bonuses for completing them beyond mission grade, such as access to “hero units” and direct control of certain areas. There’s a decent amount of these missions in the game, and they do make for an interest change of pace, but they aren’t much notable. You’re even allowed to skip participating in them, though obviously you miss out on rewards.

The highlights of the game are, rather sensibly, the end of chapter missions. Not only are they much longer than typical missions, they have much more unique settings, and, of course, bosses. This game has some very enjoyable, if difficult, bosses, ranging from the giant mech Brionac that is more than capable of wiping you out in a single attack, to the highly mobile mech of Qator Bashtar, Cid’s second in command, to several fights with the near invincible Gilgamesh (another recurring character in the series). My personal favorite is the boss of chapter 5, the dragon Shinryu, which is also all too happy to instantly kill you with most of its attacks, even more so than Brionac, and spend most of the fight enveloped in the darkness surrounding the arena you’re in, only being visible by the lights of its glowing red eyes. It makes for an amazing setpiece, and losing to it is almost more enjoyable than winning simply due to the failsafe implemented since the devs expected most players to lost, the details of which I simply cannot spoil. Finally, on a second playthrough, two new types of missions are available for you: expert trials, and Code Crimson missions. Expert trials are optional missions you can do during your free time, which you’ll likely have a lot of since events you see on a previous playthrough can be viewed again at no time cost on repeat playthroughs. While technically available in the first playthrough as well, they are way too difficult for the average player, i.e who isn’t insane like me. Code Crimson missions, on the other hand, are replacements for the end of chapter missions, consisting of you going off to do other stuff. While an interesting concept, in practice, they aren’t anything special, especially when they’re replacing the most interesting parts of the game, and they barely give any more story context either. The chapter 7 mission is the one exception, being very short, but an interesting concept and adding a bit more to the story. Plus, completing them all on one playthrough unlocks an interesting alternate ending, so that alone makes them worth a go.

As for the hardest challenges to be found, they’re a bit lacking. Aside from the regular optional dungeons, there’s one notable bonus dungeon and two notable superbosses. The bonus dungeon is the Tower of Agito, which can only be reached by airship, which consists of 5 floors where you need to fight 100 specific enemies, such as tonberries and behemoths, with plenty of chests to open in between, ending off on an extremely disappointing end boss that is just a Malboro that happens to be massive. While it certain sounds difficult, and pretty much everything is capable of one shotting you, once you get into a good pattern, it’s really just boring. Most of the time, they just spawn so slowly, and while after a while more of them come out at a time, it takes about an hour and a half at best to get through even if you’re otherwise efficient. As for the superbosses, there’s Nox Suzaku, only available in a second playthrough and onward, who has a chance of appearing whenever you harvest phantoma, stealing everything you try to harvest until it decides to go away. Aside from making it go away on its own, you can beat it up, which is quite a doozy. Instead of fighting you directly, it summons phantoms of various enemies to fight you, and while you could just defeat them all, this doesn’t do anything to Nox itself. Instead, you have to let the enemies defeat you, causing Nox to appear for a short time, allowing you to attack it until it retreats. Rinse and repeat, it’s not that difficult, and the rewards aren’t that great, so the main reason to beat it up is just to make it go away, because it stealing your phantoma is extremely annoying, especially when it can show up during missions, since you can’t just leave to fight it, and it’s entirely possible for it to flat make it impossible to get an S rank on that mission it decides it doesn’t want to leave. Not exactly a fun mechanic. The other superboss is, per tradition, Gilgamesh, in a stronger form than in the story. He only shows up on a third playthrough, at a few different locations on the world map, in the form of a portal. Entering said portals causes him to randomly select one of your characters to challenge. If you win, you get that character’s ultimate weapon, but if he wins, he steals your character’s current weapon. The ultimate weapons are kinda underwhelming, especially considering you may well have everything else done after a second playthrough, and it’s annoying getting specific people picked, but it’s actually a fun and fair fight, if easy to figure out.

Overall, Type-0 has some of the tightest gameplay among all the Final Fantasy spinoffs, and is the main thing that holds it together. It has a fast, hectic pace to it, interesting enemies to tackle, and a wide variety of people to try out. Really, the main criticism I have is the actual missions you have with which to try them out. The other main story missions aren’t much to look at, and same goes for the expert trials and Code Crimson missions. I’m sure this is at least partially due to originating on the PSP, and having to deal with its limitations, something that’s about become a theme in this review. Overall, though, it’s still more than satisfactory.

Graphics:

The visuals of Type-0 are a very mixed big, unfortunately leaning more towards negative. More than anything else, they make it very apparent that Type-0 was originally a PSP game. While the members of Class Zero themselves have decent looking models, if rather unemotive, everyone else, except a few important characters like Arecia, are much lower quality, especially the faces. Here’s a comparison between Ace and Carla.

The textures don’t fare much better, looking very blatantly stretched and blurry, especially on the world map, where bridges are just one long, hideous texture. Most locations outside of, again, the end of chapter missions don’t look anything special, and so many areas are just reused over and over. You go into a town, it’ll look like every other town, at least of that region. You invade a fort, it’ll look like every other fort. Repeat for almost every mission in the game. Thankfully, the big story missions look quite impressive and creative, my favorites being chapter 5′s, taking place on frozen clouds that end up near breathtaking, and especially the setting of the very final mission, which is, to avoid anything too specific, downright insane, in a good way. Another positive are the enemy designs, more specifically, the actual monsters, with enemies such as bombs and flans resembling their earlier FF designs much more than most modern entries. Unfortunately, there’s just one problem: the actual variety of enemy designs is rather lacking, with the majority of enemies being slight alterations or palette swaps. It’s a more minor point than most, but still something. The original enemy designs are quite inventive though, and overall, this is a game that excels more in general design than actual fidelity, like the spiraling Concordian capital surrounded by a sea of clouds.

Sound:

The music of Type-0 is plain great, as is usual for the series. The boss themes especially are fantastic, along with the main theme, The Beginning of the End. It also sounds quite distinctive compared to most of the rest of the series, having a greater focus on metal, fitting the more modern aesthetic. The English voice acting, on the other hand, isn’t quite great. It’s pretty obvious the dub was a rush job, considering Type-0 lacked the simultaneous localization process of the main series games, resulting in it being very lackluster overall. There are some notable voice acting names in it, like Cristina Vee as Cinque, Bryce Papenbrook as Machina, Danielle Judovits as Carla, Cassandra Lee as Mutsuki, and even Matthew Mercer as Trey, and they all do good jobs, but the rest of the cast varies, especially Class Zero itself. Ironically enough, the side characters tend to have much more solid performances, with special props going to Steve Blum as Cid, giving a very menacing perfomance, as well as other characters like Aria, Class Zero’s orderly, and Kazusa, the resident mad scientist. Corri English as Sice and Heather Hogan Watson as Queen also fair quite well. Beyond that though, the performances can be rather forced, like Nine and Cater, or just weak overall, like Rem and Deuce. This is not helped by the normal, in game cutscenes themselves, with their structure causing many long, awkward pauses nearly every sentence. It does, however, improve as the game goes on, to the point of the final cutscenes not being hurt by it near at all.

Conclusion:

Overall, this is a solid recommended by me. Even with the weakness of elements like the graphics and the short, underdeveloped story, the core gameplay just holds up that well, and there’s quite a bit to enjoy in the weaker elements even beyond that. Overall, this is one of my favorite Final Fantasy spinoffs, and the fact that it will most likely never get a sequel due to the departure of its director, Hajime Tabata, makes me very sad. With that unneeded note, this shall be the last of the Final Fantasy spinoffs I play in some time. The next time the name Final Fantasy pops up as the subject of one of my reviews, it shall be about the main series. Till next time.

-Scout