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fairlyang · 1 year ago

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Summer Lovin’ 🕷️

in which you have a little summer romance fling

w/c: 3.9K

pairing: greaser!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. exhibitionism, making out, sucking on tits, eating out, fingering, praise kink, blowjob. mention of face sitting, overstimulation, 69, eating pussy underwater (LMAO), spilling the tea x2

notes: reposting my precious baby, my fav, my grease au series!! might post part two after this idk but I’m writing part 3 and I’m excited :D 🤝🏼

part two — part three

You had spent almost your entire summer in California, and being from the Midwest you took advantage of the hot weather and beaches.

You had stayed at your aunt's house along with your parents but not your older sister who apparently didn't wanna "burn to a crisp" but you didn't mind. In fact you loved feeling the sun on your skin and spent most of your days on the beach.

Your sister had teased you about a summer fling and maybe you'd meet someone but won't be able to bring them back. You called bullshit and said you weren't out searching for that kinda thing.

That was until you met him.

Miguel O'Hara.

One day you were reading a book on the beach under an umbrella when a guy came up to you and you were a little shell shocked looking at him. He was gorgeous. So handsome.

He asked what you were reading which made you laugh because he did not look like the reading type. He wore a black leather jacket and his hair slicked back, you can imagine reading is not one of his things.

And who the hell wears a leather jacket in the hot weather?

But nonetheless you still answered and he just nodded along probably pretending he knew what you were talking about.

"Well I came over because I thought you were gorgeous." He says giving you a wide smile, showing off his crooked pearly whites.

You chuckle and close your book, leaving it on your lap, "oh I bet a guy like you says that to all the girls." You say playfully rolling your eyes and he shakes his head.

"Only to the really special ones." He responds sweetly and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

And with that you were sold.

Almost too easy.

But it felt real.

Genuine.

You had spent the first three weeks of August with Miguel. Splashing around, building many sand castles, playing volleyball. Tanned while getting to know each other, had little picnic dates on the beach.

It was so surreal to you and he was such a gentleman.

But on the third week was when he was more flirty than usual, always touching you subtly like grabbing your hand or having his arm around your waist.

He would even twirl you around as you walked along the sand which just had you laughing as you tried not to fall.

One specific time he wrapped his arms around you as you watched the sun set, the waves lightly hitting your feet. He gently trailed his fingers along your waist making you turn to look at him, he was already looking at you, with a mischievous look on his face if anything.

He then leaned down, letting his forehead lean against yours, "you're so beautiful."

You smile and feel your body grow warm, "you're not too bad yourself Miggy."

He then let go of you and stood in front of you, bringing a hand up to gently cup your cheek. His eyes were sparkling and he just looked so handsome up close.

The pink, orange, and yellow rays of the sun hitting the sides of your faces as he looked down at your lips. He couldn't help himself.

And he knew he'd never see you again after this considering you'd have to fly back home so what's a little fun on your last week here?

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer which only makes him chuckle, "no patience huh?" He teased and you shrugged.

"We only live once... and we might as well while we're young.." you say and lean up, pretty eyes boring into his.

He was quite shocked that you were the one making the moves but he wanted to be the one to actually do it.

So he did.

He leaned in and kissed you gently, you instantly kissed back and you swore you could feel fireworks erupting in your stomach. It felt so right. So nice.

He nipped on your bottom lip to which you then return as you feel his hands exploring your body. You felt them snake their way down your back then staying by your lower back.

Then you felt them slowly trickling lower to which you had to pull away and shake your head, "eager hm? No patience huh?" You mock and he snickers.

"Couldn't help myself doll." He murmurs and pecks your lips softly.

You melted back into his arms and kissed back before he pulled away and then leaned in to peck your lips again. He repeated this until you burst into fits of giggles which had Miguel ignoring the effect it made on him and pulled away, grabbing you by the hand as you went back to walking on the sand.

Things only progressed throughout your last week.

He snatched more kisses from you until the sun was gone and you had to go home.

The next day he had you on his lap and making out with you while his hand was trailing around your thigh. Only testing the waters.

But also playing around with you.

You were a good girl, not ever looking for trouble like this. But it seemed to have found its way to you.

And you couldn't help but want to open yourself up more to him, maybe not just kisses.

At least those were your thoughts when you were in bed, daydreaming about him.

You met up again on the third day and decided to maybe go a little further. Just a tiny bit.

So you were on his lap again, making out when you start to slowly grind yourself on him. He moaned into your mouth and it only made you grow more excited but you didn't want to push yourself too much.

And he was okay with that.

His hands were on your waist helping you move as his tongue explored your mouth. Gotta love a man that can multitask.

You moved faster and could feel his bulge grow hard beneath you. It made your skin feel hot and deep down you wanted to take it forward but also knew you probably shouldn't.

"Miguel-" you breathed out and pulled away but he latched his lips on your neck, kissing harshly against your skin.

You bite your lip and he made you continue your movements as he hummer onto your skin. "I- I-I think- maybe we s-should st- fuck-" you stutter and moan as he sucks on your neck then pulls away peppering the hickey in kisses.

"What were you saying doll?" He asks and kisses down your chest.

That day you decided to wear a bikini top with some shorts, clearly he appreciated that right now as he kissed your cleavage, bringing a hand up to squeeze your left breast. You moan and feel your eyes flutter, already losing your train of thought.

"W-We shouldn't do this here-" you breathe out but it didn't matter, he was already pulling your bikini top up.

"Miguel!" You squealed trying to cover yourself and looking around but it was vacant.

"There's nobody out here, you know we've been having this side of the beach all to ourselves for weeks." He murmurs and gently moves your hands away.

"So beautiful." He murmurs before squeezing both tits and latching on to your left nipple.

You bit your lip and held onto his head, you couldn't even blame yourself. You knew you wanted this. And that heat going straight to your core was the proof.

He pulled away and immediately sucked on your right breast, pinching your left nipple making you shift on his lap. He moaned against you and you almost forgot he was already hard. Almost.

It was kind of hard to forget since you were directly on him.

So you began to slowly grind on him again making him groan as you moved your hips back and forth. He pulled away and breathed out, "Just like that angel."

Your face flushed and you put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you continued your pace. "Good, good girl." He murmurs before sucking on your left breast, leaving yet another mark.

A moaned escaped your lips and you can see a smirk on his when he pulled away. He looked up at you and pecks your lips before pulling away and taking you off his lap and setting you to his right side on the shared blanket.

He then moved down your body, hands already undoing the button and zipper of your shorts. You lift your ass up and he slides your shorts off setting them to the side.

He then gets between your legs, kissing and squeezing your thighs and he neared where you so desperately needed him. He kissed your left inner thigh then moved to the right side to do the same.

He then went down and looked at the soaked spot on your panties, nearly drooling. "Look at you doll, already so wet." He murmurs looking up at you before leaning in and leaving the softest kiss on your clit.

You moaned and bucked your hips forward but his strong arms kept you in place which only made you whine. But he didn't care.

He was going to go at his own pace. Just like you did when you were on his lap.

Even if he technically was making you a move a bit.

But still.

He gently moved your panties to his right side as you squirmed, whining above him but he ignored you to pay all his undivided attention to your gorgeous sopping cunt. "Oh baby this all for me?" He murmurs and you feverishly nod.

He tuts and smirks looking up at you, "such a dirty girl. Thought you were a sweet innocent good girl?" He teases only making you grow more wet by the second.

"God you're so perfect." He coos before diving full on in to your cunt, immediately getting a taste of how sweet you are.

You moan and bring a hand down to pull his closer already. You needed him so badly and didn't want to waste more time.

And he could tell.

He didn't mind, given how he started lapping at your folds and his nose practically buried in your clit. "Miguel-“ You moan out and he hums sending a vibration of pleasure curse through your body.

You look down at him and buck your hips forward, this time he doesn't stop you, letting you grind your perfect cunt against his mouth. His mouth went up and down your slit, slurping up your juices as you continued your melody of pretty moans for him.

He looked into your ears as he came up and flicked his tongue on your clit earning himself more moans. He brought his hands up and intertwined them with yours as you bucked your hips against his face, grinding yourself against his tongue. "Shit- feels so good Miggy." You moan and he hums against your cunt.

He moans and lets go of your left hand, bringing his right hand to start teasing your hole with the tip of his finger. He pulls away, lips glistening from your slick making you smile as he licks your arousal off. "Need more doll?" He coos and you nod.

"Yes- yes please Miguel." You whimper and he nods, shoving his middle finger inside you.

You groan and your walls clench against his digits as he starts fucking you hard. "Oh fuck!" You moan and grip your right hand against his.

"Feel good angel?" He asks softly and you nod with an almost drunken smile.

"So pretty baby." He mutters and then slides in his second finger immediately pounding his digits into you.

You let out a loud moan and try to close your legs but he quickly let go of your hand and spread them open. "Too much already doll?" He mocks making you whimper.

His fingers were much thicker than yours and you haven't had any other fingers inside you besides your own. At least in a long time.

"Look at you taking them so well." He says and looking at your cunt just sucking his fingers in.

He then shuts up and brings his mouth back to your clit, tongue flicking on your nub while his mouth sucks harshly. Your body was getting hotter and your legs were shaking as you kept them wide open for him. "Fuck!"

His praises only continued and drove your mind wild, and just like that you found out you had a praise kink. And he used that to his advantage.

Mumbling as many praises to you seeing just how much more wet you'd get for him as well seeing how long it'd take for you to just cum off his praise.

And it didn't take long for you to feel your orgasm approach before quickly taking over and your climax hit as he was calling you his good girl.

You let out cries as you came and clenched on his fingers, entire body shaking as he fucked you slowly letting you ride your high.

As soon as your breathing calmed down and he slipped his fingers out of you, you sat up and got him to sit in your position. "C'mon your turn pretty boy." You coo and he chuckles but moves so anyway.

And without another word you laid down between his knees and undid his shorts as fast as you could. You slid them off his legs and left them on top of yours before slipping his cock out of his boxers. You left those on and just started stroking him.

You lean in and lick his tip, tasting his precum and swallowing every drip then spit on the tip and letting it drip down before stroking him again. He let out a shaky breath and you looked up at him with innocent eyes that drove hims absolutely insane. "You look so pretty." He murmurs making you squeeze your thighs together.

You then took him in your mouth, slowly bringing your head down at first not thinking you'd be able to take all of him considering how thick he was but you were slowly getting there. Only took a few minutes to take half of him before he put his hands on your head and made you take him deeper.

You were gagging against him which only made him thrust his hips into your mouth making you take all of him. You closed your eyes already feeling them fill with tears but you fought through it and took him all the way feeling his happy trail hit your nose.

You pulled away and gasped, panting but then slipped him back into your mouth and letting him do it again but for a longer period of time.

Soon enough you felt him twitch in your mouth as he was deep in your throat. You closed your eyes, breathed through your nose and prayed for the best.

He groaned and his legs shook beneath you as he shoots his load down your throat. You swallowed as much as you could but it was too much so you pulled away and let it fall in his thighs. You start stroking him slowly which makes him whine as his cock twitched at the sudden contact but yet more cum continued shooting out.

"Oh fuck!" He moans as you stroke him and go down to clean it up with your tongue.

You made sure to lick off every drop before finally taking your hand off him and taking notice he was breathing heavily. "Holy shit-" he mutters and grabs your face, bringing you in for a kiss.

You kiss back and he slides his tongue into your mouth, getting a taste of himself which only made you weak in the knees.

He then pulled away and gave you a sheepish grin, "that was- do you really have to leave?" He says and you laugh.

"Sadly. But I still have a few days left!" You say and he chuckles before bringing you into his chest as you both looked up and see a few twinkling stars above you.

And you used those days up to the best of your ability.

Now you told him the one exception was you didn't want to fuck, not there at least.

So the following day he had you wear a dress and made you sit on his face. And he made sure to emphasize "sitting down" because he wanted to feel all your weight on him.

You were scared you'd crush him but he said that'd just be the most badass way to die which only made you slap his arm. But you ended up sitting on his face and it was the best thing you'd ever tried.

You ended up like that for a good few hours before your poor pussy grew tired and you were just so overstimulated.

So you ended up making out until the sun set and you gave him a handjob as well.

The next day was your second to last day before you'd leave and he wanted to try out 69-ing to which you didn't complain about. He had already grown so use to eating you out and did not grow tired of it at all. And he loved hearing your moans, feeling your body shaking.

So he couldn't complain either.

That same day he had the brilliant idea of trying to eat you out underwater, you told him he'd actually die if he did that but he claimed he could hold his breath for a while.

Well it felt weird for both parties and he nearly drowned so that wasn't worth it. But you then stroked him while hiding behind a big rock then you got down to your knees so he could cum on your face.

And finally on your last day you sat next to each other and touched each other until you both came at the same time.

Prior to that you were just spending time together for the final time. He wanted you both to cum as the sun set. How romantic.

As you both got up and got dressed you sighed, sad that your little summer fling would come to an end.

And unfortunately never getting the chance to actually have him fuck you. But nothing lasted forever.

So after the final make out session you both pulled away breathless and you felt sad. But also happy it happened at all. And that you got to meet him.

"If it's meant to be I'm sure you'll get to go all the way in the future." You joked making him laugh and smile.

"Hopefully doll, I'm sure you feel absolutely amazing." He murmurs and you slap his arm before shrugging and giving him a sly wink finally walking away to never see him again.

Or so you think.

Your parents ended up giving you the grand surprise that you weren't actually leaving. You were moving to California.

And the reason your sister didn't come was because they actually gave her the house and her boyfriend was going to move in.

Why they didn't think of telling you before? Who knows but now you were gonna be living here and they made you enroll in the nearest university.

Somehow you got in just in time for classes to start to. You didn't have high hopes in seeing Miguel considering he'd told you a couple times he didn't really like university and wasn't really thinking about going back.

And you weren't sure in telling him you weren't going back after all. Especially considering you just had a couple good summer nights together.

So you didn't give it a second thought and just decided that's all it would be. A summer fling.

Not like you had much choice considering you didn't have any way of contacting him anyway.

You ended up going to your first day of uni and met two lovely girls outside who immediately helped you out. Frenchy and Sandy.

They were so sweet and led you to your classes, even having a few with both of them surprisingly.

You ended up having the same schedule layout and you all ended up going to the large dining hall to get something to eat.

You were then introduced to their other three girl friends, Rizzo, Marty, and Jan. Frenchy explained their little group were called the pink ladies which you thought was cute. They all had matching jackets as well.

Suddenly a girl named Patty comes along and the trio roll their eyes and groan. You pretend you don't notice and just take a bite out of the macaroni you got before she sat down next to you and started blabbing about who knows what.

Then Frenchy, a godsend angel, turned to you and asked you how your summer was.

"It was good! Spend most of my time at the beach. Might've met someone there..." you say and Patty beside you giggles but Rizzo just scoffs.

"Laying all your eggs in one basket? For some guy?" She asks and you shrug.

"He was... special." You say and she gives you a fake smile.

"There is no such thing hun." She says and you sigh looking at Patty. "It was so romantic."

On the other end of campus, on some bleachers, the self proclaimed 'T-Birds' were also asking Miguel how his summer went. But he had already told them that he met a girl.

But unlike your reminiscing of the romantic portion of your days together, his friends' immediate thoughts went to the more explicit portion...

"You don't wanna hear all the horny details." Miguel teases and all the guys gather around him yelling at him that they absolutely do.

So you both ended up spilling what you wanted to reveal except you kept your mouth shut on your exhibitions, not wanting to say too much about that.

On the other hand Miguel gave them every dirty detail possible. But for him he couldn't bring himself to tell his friends about the romantic side of how things went.

No way in hell was he going to admit those kinds of feelings in front of the guys. And mostly because they all just fucked around. Even though he knew he felt something besides just when things switched to the dirty side.

And thus you both reminisced on your favorite parts of your time together not knowing you were both on the same campus. Soon enough you'd both run into each other shocked but for now you stayed in your respective friend group.

As you walked out of the dining hall and to your last class Jan asked, "so what was his name?"

"Miguel O'Hara." You replied and her eyes widened as her and Marty burst into giggles but Rizzo smacks them to shut up.

"If you believe in miracles I'm sure Prince Charming will show up again some day. Somewhere unexpected." She says and gives you a smile.

"Think so?" You ask and she nods, grinning ear to ear as the other two girls follow her giggling their heads off.

"Oh you think so Frenchy?" You ask turning to the redhead and she avoids your gaze, awkwardly laughing and grabbing your arm.

She gives Sandy a look before Sandy links with your other arm, "how about we get to class yeah?" She says to you and you nod, questioning what the hell was going on.

402 notes · View notes

reiderwriter · 1 year ago

Note

Hi :) I've never requested before and am a little embarrassed to be here. But I'm also in my Spencer Reid Brainrot era and am a fan of your writing! I was thinking something with a virgin female reader who is genophobic (specifically fear of vaginal penetration, in her case) and Spencer helps her work through her fear and try something new? She doesnt need to have trauma, just the phobia. Either BAU or non BAU reader is fine, just as long as they aren't initially dating and there is a slow build up to the intimacy. Also, could it be race-blind? (e.g "I could see she was embarrassed" instead of "her cheeks turned pink") Fluff, smut, and mutual pining. Ack, please it would make my MONTH!!

-❤️‍🩹

A/N: I really hope I did this one justice!! It was fun to research and write and ahhh the slow burn (which was definitely a lot faster than it should have been if I had more time 🫣 sorry). I hope you like it!

W/C: 5k

Warnings: Genophobia (fear of sexual intimacy), panic attack, heavy petting, oral (F receiving), virgin reader, inexperienced Spencer, two idiots in love again, vaginal sex, fingering, contraception actually used! Mainly soft and sweet sex 😊

Find my masterlist here! Get ready for kinktober with me here!

It was your worst nightmare come true.

You’d had a crush on Spencer for the last three years, working with him in the BAU since Elle had left. You’d joined the team alongside Emily and immediately become enamored with the boy genius, and how could you not? He was smart, and handsome, and most importantly, he respected boundaries.

But here he was in front of you, probably saying the words that you most wanted to hear from him, but he was so close, your heart was beating uncomfortably in your chest, your breath short and your eyes hazy and unfocused for all the wrong reasons.

“Just… If you don’t feel the same, I understand and I’ll never mention it again, but if there’s any chance that you.. That you love me the same way I love you, please tell me.” He had you boxed in against the wall, not touching you exactly, but so close you could feel his breath on your neck, could see the desperation in his eyes as he poured his heart out to you.

The man of your dreams was confessing his love to you, and you were on the verge of a panic attack at his attention.

“Spencer, I have to go,” you gasped out, grasping your chest as you begged your lungs to start working again, as you begged your mouth to stay and explain. But the tears were burning in the corners of your eyes and you had to run from the intimacy of the moment. “I have to... I’m sorry, Spencer, I can’t…” You didn’t get any other words out before you bolted out the door, desperate to find a bathroom stall to cry in. You weren’t sure if the tears were from the very real fear you’d just confronted or the realization that you’d probably just ruined your chances with Spencer Reid.

–X–

A week later, and the awkward tension between the two of you hadn’t dissipated. You wanted to explain yourself, of course, you did, but with the hurt look on Spencer’s face shooting through you every time you were at the other end of his gaze, combined with the absolute fear of being known and judged, you had guiltily kept your mouth shut.

The rest of the team had noticed, of course. The two of you were sending pining looks after one another whenever the other had their back turned, even when preoccupied with a prolific highway murderer, the team would be blind not to see it. Unfortunately for you, the members of the BAU weren’t the ones to let the tension go unconfronted, so you found yourself in increasingly solitary situations, alone but for the company of Spencer himself.

You’d been assigned to work the geographical profile with Spencer, despite usually working alongside Hotch, more used to comforting and interviewing families than analyzing charts and maps. The opportunity to explain had been handed to you on a silver platter, and you had to take it.

“Spencer, can we talk?” You blurted the words out after an unbearably long silence, having watched the man read case file after case file while you distractedly bumbled along beside him.

He paused and gave a small nod, bringing his head up, but not quite meeting your gaze.

“When you… When you said those things last week, did you mean them?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Y/N.” The words were tense, but his voice was soft, his eyes holding a resigned look.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, shit, everything I say is going to sound like an excuse but I’m so sorry…” you rambled, trying to work up the courage to say what you actually wanted to.

“You don’t have to apologize for not feeling the same way I do. It’s okay, I know I’m not the easiest person to love and-”

“You are. You are, Spencer, don’t even think that you are the problem here, because you are not.” You gasped for breath as you pushed the words out unexpectedly, surprising even yourself with the conviction of your tone.

“I love you, Spencer, I do, I just…” You blinked back the tears again as your voice suddenly became a whisper.

“You know when we talked about our… our fears a few weeks back? And I said that I didn’t have anything specific that came to mind?” He listened attentively as you stuttered out the words.

“I lied. When… people get close to me, and when they get close to me in a way that specifically suggests that… suggests that they like me the way you like me, my chest gets tight, and I can’t breathe. Spencer, I’m… I’m scared of sex.”

You let the confession hang in the air between you, almost afraid to look up and see the sympathetic look in Spencer’s eyes. But you had to eventually, and you were surprised.

The man wasn’t even looking at you, and his expression couldn’t even be described as concerned, let alone empathetic.

“Spencer? Did you hear what I said?” He looked up and smiled at you, keeping his distance still, but opening up to you, facing you with open body language, putting all his attention on you without moving even an inch closer.

“Genophobia. Y/N, you’re describing Genophobia. It’s the fear of physical intimacy that often stems from a fear of pain during sexual intimacy or from physical symptoms, such as Vaginosis. Y/N, you don’t hate me.” His grin widened, and you let out a little laugh at the hopeful look on his face as he breathed out that last statement.

“No, no Spencer, I couldn’t hate you.”

“Good, because I thought I’d taken it too far… Nevermind. Y/N, is… is this something you want to work through?” His tone was cautious, and you were touched by the seriousness he was approaching with. Your previous boyfriends had mocked you when you explained why you couldn’t have sex with them, few as they may have been. You’d never been treated with such gentleness.

“Yes. I really want to work through it, but… Spencer, it might take a long time. Is that okay?” He considered your question for a minute, then replied with his own.

“Y/N, can I lean in and kiss your cheek, please? I won’t touch you anywhere else, I just want…please?” You felt a warmth bubbling under your cheeks at the situation, your tongue growing thick in your mouth, not allowing you to respond. You opted for a small nod instead, watching his every move as he slowly moved in.

Placing his hands on the table, he lifted himself up from his chair, keeping them firmly planted there so you could see that he wasn’t going to initiate anything further. His lips finally hit your cheek, and your heart started beating in that familiar way that it usually did, but you forced yourself to hold still until he pulled away. He did so quickly.

“Y/N, I don’t care how long it takes you to be comfortable with me. I’m just happy you chose me.” He finished, then grabbed a file and exited the room, leaving you alone again to calm your heart and un-fog your brain.

–X–

The case closed a few days later, but you didn’t have another chance to talk to Spencer anymore about your relationship, being so caught up in serving justice to the families of the victims. But as Friday approached, your job was finished, an unsub handed over to the authorities ready for prosecution, and you could finally fly back home.

Which is how you found yourself, on the last evening of the work week, pacing outside of his apartment, freaking out about whether you should knock or not. You’d held your hand up to knock a few times, but ultimately let it fall to your side, cursing your cowardice. It was just a door. He was just a man. A man who really cared about you. A man who wanted you. That thought should have had you jumping into his arms at every given opportunity, instead, it was causing heart palpitations at the thought of knocking on a door.

In the end, you didn’t have to knock.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” You heard his voice from behind you as you jumped in place, startled by the fact that he was actually there.

“Shit, Spencer, don’t do that, you scared me.” You grabbed your chest and took a deep breath. He stood still, waiting for your answer to his previous question.

“I was just… Can I come in?”

“Oh. Oh, yeah of course, here let me…” His words trailed off as he grabbed his keys from his pocket, fumbling them slightly as he struggled to get the key into the door.

“Take a seat wherever you… Can, I guess? Sorry, I was doing some reading before I left.” He smiled awkwardly as you walked into the space, and you giggled a little at the confession, seeing that there was really only one open space on the couch left for you to occupy without having to perch awkwardly on the arm of the chair.

You took the seat, moving a single book onto a stack on the sofa next to you, and watched the man as he took off his scarf and coat, storing them and then awkwardly turning back to the couch. He looked around for a place to sit, and, coming to the same conclusion as you did, chose to perch himself on the opposite arm of the sofa to you.

“Oh, Spencer, this is your house, you should sit comfortably.”

“No, you’re a guest, it’s fine. I want you to feel comfortable. What did you want to talk about?” He cleared his throat a little and then turned his eyes back to you, signaling that he was ready to listen attentively.

“Oh…. I was hoping…. Spencer, can you touch me?” You saw his face flush at your suggestion, and your eyes widened at your own foolish wording.

“Shit, not like that. Not that I don’t want you to touch me like that, but I think it’s too soon, and I’m still not comfortable with that. I was just hoping that you could, you know, hold me for a while, like a hug or something?” You rambled it all out, and you could hear yourself rambling but you couldn’t stop it. The words dropped from your mouth before you could even think about stopping them, and you felt the blood rush to your head as you cringed slightly at the situation.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You’re…. You’re okay with that?” You asked, looking hopefully up at Spencer.

“Do you want to sit together, or were you thinking something else?” You jumped up from your seat then, and glanced around the room as you considered his words.

“Oh, um, sitting together would be good I suppose?” He nodded and lifted himself up from the arm, moving closer to you.

“I’m going to sit here, you should probably just join me when you want to, okay?” He whispered the words with a tender smile on his face, and you felt some of the tension in your shoulders disappear. It was incredible that he could do that with a simple smile, that with one glance he could relax your whole body enough to let you push yourself to the limits of your fear.

You gained some confidence, and after letting him get settled in the seat you had just vacated, you moved to straddle his lap. You heard his sharp intake of breath as you wrapped your arms up around his neck, nervously wondering if what you were doing was right.

“Is this okay for you, Y/N?” He asked, stuttering through the words as he struggled to stay focused on you.

“It’s okay now. I want to push myself a little.” You ran your hands down his arms, which had so far lain politely still on the sofa beside him before you pulled them around yourself, letting the hug deepen. He was warm, and between the two of you, you weren’t sure whose heartbeat was louder. You could hear both of them, the room totally still except for your breaths and blinks.

“Y/N, can I… can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You whispered the word in a voice so small, you were sure he hadn’t heard it, as his head crept towards you so slowly you were sure he wasn’t moving. Eventually, you felt his breath on your skin more, and then his lips were softly pressing against your own, the pressure gentle, not demanding any more than what you were currently giving him.

You melted into it, pushing yourself further into his warmth, your chests now pressed together as he languidly moved his lips against yours, claiming them again and again and again. You kept pushing and pushing into him, growing more sloppy in your kisses, grabbing onto the back of his sweater with two desperate fists, needing him close.

It wasn’t until your hips bucked involuntarily in his lap, unconsciously demanding friction that you began to panic once again, immediately pulling your lips and torso out of his reach.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I can’t… it’s… shit it’s not you, Spencer. God, I’m such an idiot.” You pulled your hands over your eyes, embarrassed at the thought of being seen by him right then, but still firmly seated in his lap.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said, pulling your hands away from your face with a gentle touch. “It’s okay, Y/N. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” You nodded at his words and took a few more minutes to compose yourself.

“Can we…can we just cuddle for a while? Like this?” You asked, and his smile instantly became bright.

“I would love to. Let’s move some of these books though.” You shifted the books quickly and then fell back into his lap, his body now laying more vertically than before, stretching out into the larger space now available on the couch. You pushed your head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat, following it with your own, and letting it be the soundtrack to your descent into sleep.

–X–

Waking up in his arms was a life-changing experience. Sometime during your sleep, he had carried you to his bed, letting you sleep soundly as he made you more comfortable. He hadn’t taken any of your clothes off, of course, just removed your shoes and made sure you were warm enough in the skirt and blouse you had been wearing.

Your position had changed, too, and it was one of the first things you noticed as you blinked your eyes open, trying to rid them of sleep as you greeted the new day. Instead of being below you, he was behind you, pressed against you with a hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him like a child clutching a favored toy.

“Spence,” you whispered through a grin. “Spencer, wake up.” You turned your head around to him, but he moaned in his sleep, not wanting to leave his rest just yet. You giggled at his childlike petulance, trying to shift around to face him, but his grip was too tight. Pushing against him, you felt something, hard, pushing against your back. You shifted again, but it was still there, and it took you only a few more seconds to figure out what it was.

“Shit, Spencer, wake up,” your tone probably sounded more frantic than you felt, as it woke him quickly now, his body releasing yours enough to let him pull himself up, taking stock of the room as he looked around searching for what had panicked you.

“What is it, are you okay?” He returned his eyes to your face, but your gaze had slipped down his body, and through the much looser fitting sweatpants he’d thrown on at some point during the night, you could see the outline of his cock.

Curiously, the very sight didn’t have you bolting, as it had in situations in the past. You had frozen, of course, but you weren’t filled with as much dread as you had been only a few days prior with his confession.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, it’s a biological reaction and… well it’s not purely biological, I do really have feelings for you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured, and… Let me go and get rid of this.” He moved to stand, but you grabbed his arm before he could completely pull away, his hand still resting on your waist.

“Wait… Could we continue from where we were last night?” You looked up at him, the embarrassment of your words sending a rush of adrenaline through your body, almost forcing you to take them back immediately.

“You… you want that?” For the second time in 24 hours, a whispered ‘yes’ was all it took to have him crash his lips into yours. The pressure was the same, but with his body hovering over yours, it felt even more intimate. His hands rubbed small reassuring circles on your hips, as you opened up to him, wanting to pull the full force of his weight down onto you.

His hand fell to your face as he encouraged you to open your mouth to his tongue, letting him explore it thoroughly as he lazily worked his mouth against your own. There was no fight for dominance here, just two people deeply exploring the feeling of one another, so wrapped up in the pleasure that no other thoughts could cross your minds. Not even that of fear.

He pulled away for a breath, and your lips trailed him, trying to capture him again and force him back to you, but he evaded you softly.

“Y/N, can I try something? I want to touch you…more. Is that okay?” You were so desperate for the feeling of his lips against yours again that you moaned out the yes before you even processed his words. His lips fell back against yours, but his weight shifted above you as his right hand trailed down your leg and then back up underneath your skirt.

The touch was so delicate that you shivered under the attention, but you felt your heart start beating faster and faster as he got closer to your center. He asked you once again, and you agreed before he finally touched you through the safety of your panties.

You moaned into the kiss as he cupped you, letting his thumb fall to your clit and beginning to explore you more. He swallowed each and every sound you made with his lips, committing every move you made, every reaction to memory. You grew more pliable under all his attentions, growing comfortable in reacting to his every movement, letting him control the pace and flow of your shared caresses. A heat was growing at the depth of your stomach, and you knew it was coming.

Your brain finally kicked back into gear as your orgasm washed over you, your eyes jolting open as he released your mouth, the breathless moan that erupted from you causing your entire body to tense up. You pushed him away, and clutched your chest, scrambling up into a seated position as he quickly noted the change in your body language, letting you out of his grip.

You struggled to get your breathing out of control, desperately searching for a way out, an excuse, or anything to say to make you feel better, but you came up blank.

“I’m sorry… I’m really…” You couldn’t force out any other words before you jumped out of his bed and bolted out of the apartment, having ruined everything again for the second time.

–X–

Another week ticked by before you knew it, and you still hadn’t talked to Spencer since he’d pushed you over the edge. The fact that he hadn’t tried to talk to you either had you convincing yourself that it meant whatever you shared was over now.

It was a nice feeling to share, but you couldn’t keep it up forever, just like you hadn’t been able to in any of your previous relationships. But there was something about Spencer that you didn’t want to give up on, so you didn’t.

You spent the week looking up advice on how to deal with your fear, booking appointments with Sex Therapists, and, to put it kindly, getting your body used to the idea of sexual interaction. You bought a small vibrator a day or two after you slept over at his house, nothing that would enter you, just something to play with to increase your confidence as you prepared yourself to apologize to him.

But despite all of your efforts, the tension was still running high in the team as they all noticed the sudden disconnect between you and your maybe-boyfriend.

So, with the newly discovered commitment to self-improvement, you found yourself at his door again on another Friday night, this time confidently knocking at the first attempt.

“Y/N, you’re here.” He said, mouth hanging open slightly as his unasked question hung in the air.

“I wanted to talk. About everything.”

“Sure, come in, come in.” He shut the door behind you, and you didn’t bother walking further than the entryway before you started again, not wanting to lose your conviction.

“Spencer, I want you to make love to me. I freaked out last time, and I ran away, and that was so shitty of me, but I think I’m ready now - I went to see this therapist and she gave me some advice, and I’ve been… I’ve been touching myself so I can get myself used to the idea of someone else touching me. And you’re the only person who I want to touch and to touch me, and you’re everything I’ve been thinking about, and I don’t want you to avoid me anymore or think this isn’t going anywhere.” You were almost breathless as you finished, having let your sentences blur into one, not bothering to pause in your exploration.

“Oh, thank god,” Spencer said, wrapping his hands around you suddenly, pulling you to him with a strength you didn’t know he had. “Well, not thank god that you want to have sex with me, thank god that I didn’t push it too far. I thought you hated me after last time, I thought I was trying to selfishly get you to open up too quickly, and I felt so bad about it.” He rambled just the same as you had, not letting go of you for all the world.

“You know, I’ve checked out like 50 books on sexual psychology from the University library this week, I was afraid the librarian was going to call the police on me for creepy behavior or something.” He laughed into you, letting his head drop to your shoulder as he held you comfortably.

“Spencer, that is so sweet.” You felt the sugar in your grin, knowing that this unabashed happiness wasn’t going away anytime soon, any negative feelings at being held this closely dissipating when faced with the love of his actions.

“I’m going to ask again, is that okay?” You nodded at his boyish grin, and he grinned down at you fondly.

“Y/N, may I kiss-” You didn’t let him finish, pushing yourself up on your toes to lock your lips with his before he could.

“Yes. Always yes.” You said releasing him, foreheads resting together.

“I know, but I like to ask.” His lips were on you again then, as he walked you back through his apartment, not stopping once to release your lips. Before you knew it, he was picking you up, and gently returning you to the bed you’d bolted from the week before.

He released you for a breath, and you pushed your top up and off, throwing it to the ground as he stared at you like you had personally each and every star in the sky.

“You’re amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He mumbled the words into your skin, before letting his hands once again fall under your skirt, beginning to massage your ass with a firm but still loving embrace. He pulled you against him again, your kisses becoming more and more needy as you felt him grow against you, with each stroke of his tongue forcing your hips to rub together deliciously.

“You know,” he spoke slowly, letting his lips fall down your neck and chest. “All of the literature I read suggested that foreplay was a good way to combat Genophobia. The more prepared you are for the actual sexual act, the less you worry about the ‘pain’ of it all.”

“What are you saying, Spencer?” You whispered, your heart beating fast, but not in an uncomfortable way anymore.

“I’m saying I want to make you feel good. Can I?” His lips had reached your skirt then, and he said the words as his head rested against your thigh, hands slowly pushing your legs wider and wider.

You nodded, and he dived in, at first licking through your underwear as you moaned and writhed underneath him. His hands worked the panties down your legs as he kissed your inner thighs, pushing your skirt up and over your hips so you could watch his every move.

“Fuck Spencer,” you ground into his face again as he returned his tongue to your now soaking hole, desperately chasing the pleasure of his attention. You’d had the time to explore this week, obviously, but it was nothing like this. Every kiss, every suck, every lick, spoke a thousand words to his devotion to you, his love being pressed into you from between your legs. You didn’t know it could be like this. You didn’t think it would be with anyone who wasn’t him.

“Spencer, I can feel it…. Spencer, don’t stop.” You worked a hand into his hair and shamelessly bucked into him now, you high hitting you just like you knew it would. If the first time had been a surprise, this time had been an inevitability. You felt him keep up his ministrations, letting you ride out the full wave of pleasure. When he finally pulled away, he looked into your eyes for confirmation that everything he’d done was okay. Moving a hand to wipe your arousal from his mouth, you stopped him mid-motion and pulled him back on top of you, wrapping your tongue around his own and delighting in the taste of his success.

“Let’s keep going,” you said softly into his ear, and he moaned his approval, before quickly divesting himself of his pants and grabbing a condom from his bedside table.

“Morgan got me a pack of these at Christmas, as a joke, y’know,” he laughed, kissing down your neck again, paying special attention to the few spots darkening to splashes of red.

“Not the time, Spencer,” you laugh at him, and he squeaks out an apology before lining himself up with you.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” He asks, a concerned look plastered on his face, and you pull him down for one short tender kiss before answering again.

“I have never been so sure of any decision I have made in my life, as I am sure about you.” He pressed a kiss to your lips in thanks and then slowly began to fill you up.

There was a small panic in the back of your mind, but he kissed praise into your skin, replacing all of your negative thoughts with nothing but his words, his actions, his love. You relaxed as he stretched you out, not moving his hips but letting his hand return between your legs to help you further adjust to the newness of it all.

You saw a panicked look fall across his face as he kissed away small tears that fell from your eyes, each a small apology for the pain, the confusion of your mixed emotions, but you just laughed his concern away.

“Happy tears, Spencer. They’re happy tears.” He laughed with you then, and with one last seeking out of your approval, you began to move together. His thrusts were slow, lavishing you with attention, letting you feel all of him as his body sought your pleasure. Your legs wrapped around him, unable to stop the desperate need to buck up, up, up with each of his downward strokes.

You were a mess of limbs and kisses, neither of you experienced enough to know how to do anything past what felt good, what felt natural, and you spent your time together like that, giggling with each chaste kiss, moaning and sighing as you both worked your way up to an ecstatic release.

Falling down on top of you after you came together, Spencer didn’t pull out, holding you somehow closer than before as you both let the oxygen return to your lungs.

“I love you,” he whispered into your lips.

“I love you,” you whispered back.

Yes, it was not going to be like that with anyone else. And you didn’t want anyone else at all, now that you finally had him.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #requested #❤️‍🩹 Anon

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mylovelies-docx · 2 years ago

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Sorry, I Love You - Part 1

Here we go! I have it planned that I will be updating this story on Fridays, so yay! I have 10 parts set out as of now, but we'll see where this story takes me.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Friends with Benefits, ANGST, unrequited feelings, lots more to come!

Word Count: 1,200

Prologue

You were right to doubt Natasha's words.

Waking up next to Bucky just gets harder and harder as time goes on. Listening to his soft murmurs and heavy sighs, the feel of his bare skin against yours. Every time you find yourself between his sheets, you resent him a little. But it’s not his fault, it’s yours. Every time.

Because you know that if you ever take that one crucial step towards him, you’ll lose him. Lose this closeness, this connection.

So you don’t take that step. You haven’t opened up and told him how you feel for months now. And it drives a knife into your heart with every second that passes where you don’t confess.

Every time you sneak away from parties to some hidden room for a quick fuck, or when he’s pounding into you under a street light on some deserted road with your leg hiked over his motorcycle at 3 am, you can’t help but imagine that all this passion has to mean something to him. Like it means something to you.

So you test it.

You invite him on adventures between missions, visiting museums and parks and 24/7 diners that you know are perfect date spots. He always readily agrees to hang out and stays with you the whole time, his arm slung over your shoulders while he laughs in your ear.

Spending time with Bucky like this leaves you effervescent. You always leave his arms smiling like a fool – because that’s what you are.

Because these movie tickets are just an excuse, really.

Bucky’s been so busy these last couple of weeks that you’ve hardly seen him, let alone spent any "quality" time with him. You’re currently on your longest dry spell you’ve ever had with him, and the lack of contact leaves you delusional.

Delusional enough to do something stupid.

Delusional enough to tell Bucky how you feel.

The air is cold as you and Bucky stroll from the movie theater, your heart buzzing in your chest as you contemplate how best to approach the topic. Bucky gives you the perfect opportunity with his next sentence.

“Damn, dollface, forgot how much fun it was to hang out with you. Feels like it’s been ages.”

“We could always hang out more,” you respond coyly, taking his hand and curling yourself against his side. You don’t think you can look him in the eyes while you confess to him.

“Yeah, we should,” Bucky says, and you can’t hold back your next words.

“We could go on a real date sometime.”

You feel a nearly imperceptible jolt in Bucky’s muscles, and his voice is slightly bemused when he replies. “What?”

There’s confusion behind the words, but you hope against hope that it’s because he’s thinking your suggestion through.

“Well, I mean, we’ve already kind of been going on dates and doing other things that couples do? It wouldn’t be so hard to just make it more concrete, you know?” Your words squeeze around the lump in your throat, your insides shivering in desperation.

Bucky stops in his tracks and pulls you off to the side of the street out of other people’s way. He turns you to face him, his palms resting on your shoulders, his blue eyes searching your face for any sign of the joke you must surely be playing. Because you’ve talked about this. He was very clear. And you had agreed all those months ago – agreed that it was just sex. Agreed that neither of you had any romantic feelings for the other.

“Uh, doll? What are you…?”

Your cheeks burn and your fingers tingle. Your heart can’t handle being scrutinized so intensely at this moment. You avert your eyes to where you’re scuffing your shoe back and forth, back and forth, across the pavement.

“I’m saying… I–I like you, Bucky.” Heart in youth throat, you finally look back into his eyes when you say his name.

But his expression as he looks back at you isn’t the one you were wanting to see. Bucky looks panicked. Like you’ve just told him that you’re holding a bomb that’s set to detonate in seconds.

“Jesus,” Bucky says your name in exasperation as he removes his hands from your arms and runs them through his long hair, “why would you–”

Fuck.

You quickly back-pedal, trying to keep the panic out of your voice while scrambling to pick your bleeding heart off the dirty sidewalk.

“No, no, no. Wait, Bucky. Listen. I know we’ve talked about this before and you said you weren’t looking for anything serious.” Your hands are flying all over the place as you try and explain away your feelings. “But we’ve been hanging out a lot and maybe I just got the wrong idea–”

“Yeah. You did,” Bucky interjects, sending a dagger into the mess of an organ clutched desperately between your hands. “It’s flattering and all, but… you know I’m not interested in you like that.”

You’re successfully holding back tears against the burning in your eyes, but the need to release all the pain you’re feeling is overwhelming. You wrap one arm protectively around yourself and grab on to your other bicep, squeezing hard to feel the physical hurt instead of the emotional.

“No, yeah, you’re right. I’m – I just thought I should be honest? But, seriously, don’t even worry about it.” You hold your hands up in a placating gesture and give as convincing a smile as possible. “This won’t change anything, I promise. And besides, I’ll get over it soon enough!”

Bucky gives you a skeptical look, but nods his head slowly. “So… we’re taking sex off the table, obviously.”

You give a breathy laugh and try to roll your eyes playfully. “Probably not the best idea at the moment,” you respond.

“Yeah,” Bucky sighs, “probably not.”

You both stand in awkward silence, not really looking at each other. You can only stand it for so long until you casually throw a thumb over your shoulder and suggest heading back home.

It’s a long, long ride back on his motorcycle. But at least the wind lashing your face gives you an excuse for the tears that fall.

***

You make it to your floor without seeing another person, but your luck runs out when you find Nat and Wanda watching a movie together in your bed. The sight of your two best friends smiling warmly at your entrance shatters the last of your strength.

You can’t stop the hiccuping sob that leaves your throat – it refuses to be held back any longer. Both women’s eyes widen and they immediately start to sit up, but you’ve collapsed on top of the covers between them before they could move. You can feel Wanda’s fingers in your hair and Nat’s hand rubbing soothing circles between your shoulders.

Your sobs eventually turn into sniffles, and that’s when Wanda speaks.

“What happened?” she asks softly.

You take a shuddering breath in before saying, “I was stupid.”

“What–” Wanda begins, but Natasha immediately knows what you mean.

“Fuck.” She sighs heavily and leans down to place a kiss on the crown of your head.

Part 2

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #captain america #Sorry

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elihashadenough · 1 year ago

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as the poets say

Pairing: max verstappen x male reader (could be read by masc presenting people)

Summary: i would recognize him by touch alone, by smell, i would know him blind. I would know him in death, at the end of the world

warnings: sad, sad angst, i felt bad writing this. Angst, f1 stuff, talk about burns, fire, negative emotions.

a/n: this was a silly little revenge fic though its not silly anymore...i do wanna apologize to leo...I am sorry leo, apology fic is coming i promise

-> do not repost, copy or translate my works nor post them anywhere else. Read at your own risk. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated.

“𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖔𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖈𝖙,” “𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖘𝖔𝖚𝖑”

The moon light softly shone through the curtains in the bedroom window, footsteps could be heard outside the door “now come on off to bed you two” sounds of laughter filled the corridor. Joy, happiness, content all the feelings one could feel that made them at peace Max felt with yn beside him. Max felt happiness everyday he opened his eyes to see yn laying beside him, he felt joy everyday he saw yn, he loved the way he could just rest his head on yn’s shoulder and would feel all the worries of the world fade away.

“Max? why are you standing there like statue, you should be resting” Yn’s voice interrupted max’s thoughts “uh-I-” y/n walks towards max and guides him to the bed of the apartment they were staying in during the race week. “I’m fine ynn, you don’t have to worry about me” max said as he sat down “you just want me to let you race by the end of the week, yet you had concussion” y/n says as he walks into the en-suite bathroom to get ready for bed himself “yeah but that was at the start of the week, I’m fully rested now and feel okay” y/n looks at max with the toothbrush in his mouth before he turns and spits the paste out “okay well then how many times did we go on a date before you asked me to be your boyfriend?” y/n asks with a smirk knowing it wouldn’t do anything but it was fun to tease max “oh come on baby” max whined softly as he walked over to y/n and rested his hands on y/n’s waist and looked at him through the mirror “…” y/n looks at max trying to hide his smile “you are such a tease” max said as he kissed the (h/c) head “learnt it from the best you know” y/n said turning around to see max shake his head “so…can I race??” y/n sighed at that and looked at max “oh oh omg! you are scared that I’m going to win and you’ll lose” max laughed as he said that whist y/n gave him a look that clearly said ‘bitch be fucking for real right now’ max controlled his laughter “well I guess I’ll just have to show you that I’m a better racer then you Mr.Verstappen” y/n said as he turned around and walked out the bathroom “let’s see who wins Mr.Verstappen” max said as he walked after y/n who sat on the bed looking at max, who climbed into the bed already knowing y/n was waiting for his cuddles. He opened his arms as y/n smiled and cuddled close resting his head on max’s chest playing with his fingers. “There is something on your mind…” max says as he looks down at y/n “I know you are trying to hide it, you’ve been doing it the whole day” max adds as y/n shrinks down “what’s going on baby?” max asks as y/n shakily sighs “well…I-I’ve been thinking-” y/n starts talking before being interrupted “a lot of it obviously” max says as y/n smiles and shook his head “let me continue before I chicken out please” max nods with a soft smile “sorry continue”

“so um-I-I’ve been thinking abo-thinking that this…this season might be my last” y/n says after taking a deep breath, Max seemed shocked, he was right to be shocked. Racing was yn’s dream forever, the only thing that mattered to him before max and the children was racing. He would put everything he had into racing, y/n was very clear about when max asked him to be his boyfriend. “are you sure about it?” max asked sitting up as when sat up and looked at max “I think I am…especially after your crash, it-it scared me too much. I-I know we both have had close calls in the past b-but this one was different, it was too real. I didn’t know what was going to happen, I had to keep driving my eyes were starting to water I couldn’t focus. I didn’t know what I’d do without you but you were okay, but as I walked into the hospital room to get you and just I couldn’t help but think” max knew how hard y/n was trying to hold himself together, he grabbed y/n’s hand in his as y/n continued “I couldn’t help but think what would happen to ashton and riley if something happened…to either one of us or both of us” max couldn’t help but pull y/n in for hug, he knew what it would’ve taken y/n to make such a decision “I know this was hard for you and I will fully support you with this in any way you want. It was always going to be your decision, I would never force you to leave and I’d never force you to stay.” Max says as he whispers making y/n smile “thank you for understanding, I was really scared of how you’d react for some reason” Max shook his head before softly kissing y/n “like I said it was always your decision baby”

“but that doesn’t mean I won’t beat you in tomorrow’s race” y/n says with a smirk close to max’s face who thought y/n was leaning in for a kiss “you-” and that’s when y/n leaned in and kissed max while trying to control his smile. Max pulled y/n closer with hands on his waist, the kiss seemed to deepen itself, gentle but still passionate. Flipping y/n onto his back max leaned over him, hands beside y/n’s head “look at you…are you sure you are going to win baby?” max whispered in y/n’s ear before pulling him in for a kiss again…

{The next day}

Light passing through the sheer curtains makes max turn his back towards the window but sleep had already escaped him, he sighed softly opening his eyes looking at y/n who was still sleeping peacefully, blanket covering him though max could still see the marks from last night littering y/n’s body. Max couldn’t help but softly move y/n’s hair off his face, in a trillion years max couldn’t have thought he would have someone like y/n be his husband but here he was laying beside the love of his life, the half of his soul, as y/n would say sometimes or had saved his name on his phone with. Max felt y/n move beside him “good morning ynn” max whispered softly as y/n softly whined and moved closer to max “can you tell the sun to shut up” max laughed and pulled y/n closer “I don’t think the sun would listen to me baby” max says softly as y/n looks at max “why are you more comfortable then the bed?” y/n asks as max runs a hand through his hair, but before max could answer there was a soft knock on the door knowing it was one of the kids. Max grabbed the shirt from the floor and passed it to y/n before grabbing his own sleeping gown as he opened the door for the kids “good morning” y/n whispers softly as both of the kids run over to y/n “good morning papa” ashton says as max walked over to sit on the bed and smiled at you “so no good mornings for dad??” max asks jokingly as y/n looked at the kids as all three of them laughed “dad stinks, so no good mornings for dad” riley says as she cuddles close to y/n, her teddy held close to her. These were the types of morning max loved, slow and gentle sort of mornings where everything was quiet but not in an eerie way but in calm way. In a way that made you want to drag out the morning longer.

{race night}

A kiss shared between the two before getting in their respective cars, ready to get in their racing mode. Y/n closed his eyes before sighing ready to win this.

Time was going by fast out and inside of the cars. At every turn people held their breaths. Max had fallen behind y/n, he smirked at thought as he tried to speed up. He was soon close to passing y/n’s car, but it seemed too easy it was never easy to pass by y/n everyone on the grid knew that “is y/n’s car okay?” max asked on the radio as he passed by y/n “he is having slight problem with the car, he might have to box” the answer came, and max felt sad for y/n but he had to focus on the race.

That was the last time he saw y/n on the track, thinking y/n had boxed and had been pissed. Max had gotten the podium, what surprised was that y/n was not there as he usually was no matter how bad the race had been for him, he would always be there for max. Max had walked into the cool down room, where y/n would usually wait for him if he was in the cool down room before him but y/n was nowhere to be seen, max felt uneasy. Charles and Daniel had entered the cool room and both seemed like they had seen a ghost “why do you both look like you have seen a ghost?” max laughed as he sat down to drink some water in that moment the other two races look at the door to see max and y/n’s manager enter the room with a same face as Charles and Daniel who exchanged a look before looking back at max “Max…we-we have to tell you something before you go on the podium” Charles says as he moves closer to max, max looked at him and Charles was clearly trying to control himself but max didn’t know why though he had a feeling that he wished with every bone in his body wasn’t true. Daniel couldn’t even look at max in this moment, lost in his own thoughts.

They knew they couldn’t let him get on that podium without having known this whilst everyone else knew what had happened.

Max looked at Daniel, y/n’s best and closest friend outside of max, his gaze then turned to their manager who was looking at max and charles. And finally max looked at charles “what is it charles?” max asked holding eye contact with him. The long pause seemed like it was hours long but in real it was mere seconds before charles answered “th-there…max…there was a crash” max knew it deep down what charles meant but he wasn’t ready to believe it “what do you mean there was crash? Was it after I had crossed the line??” max asked pulling himself away from charles a little

“max it-” this time it was Daniel and max’s eyes snapped to him “who was it?” max’s voice sounded urgent almost as if he was in some sort of hurry “max-” charles says as he lays his hand on max’s shoulder but max shrugged the hand off and cut off charles “I asked…who was in the crash?” max asked again, the manager moved closer and looked at max.

“it was-it was y/n’s car…he lost control of it cause of the engine and-” charles looked at the manager to get them to stop “he needs to know” was the only thing they said before continuing while max just looked at them hoping it was some cruel joke and y/n would just come in through the door with his usual teasing smirk but alas it wasn’t “the car caught fire-” Max’s breath was caught is his throat, he felt like every bit of gravity in the world was trying to pull him down but he had to be with y/n, his words playing through max’s mind ‘I didn’t know what I’d do without you’ “max max, wait- wait a max you have to wait…he’s in surgery-” max looks at charles “stop-i-I need to be there when he wakes up he will be- I cant leave him alone” max looks at the manager “I need to go to the hospital right now”

{flashback}

Y/n smiled as he heard the soft tune of the music, he had just put ashton to bed for a nap. Max's eyes lit up with a mischievous twinkle as he walked over to the couch, y/n focused on the book he was reading already knowing what max was going to do. Without a word, max reached out his hand, a silent invitation laced with the promise of an unforgettable moment.

"Care to dance?" Max's voice was soft like a pillow, carrying a hint of excitement. A smile that mirrored his excitement spread across y/n’s lips as he nodded, "Of course."

With that, Max led y/n away from the comfort of the couch and into the centre of the room. The music wrapped around them like a warm embrace of the tune of the song. "You know this song always gets to me," Max murmured, his voice low and filled with warmth as he pulled y/n close. "I do know that" y/n replied softly, feeling his heart flutter at the intimacy of the scene. "It's like it was made for us."

"You're a vision tonight," Max whispered, his breath tickling y/n’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. Y/n couldn't help but chuckle at max’s playful flirtation. "I’m wearing sweats, and you think I look like a vision. Smooth talker," y/n teased, leaning into max’s touch. "It's easy when I'm dancing with the most beautiful person in the room," Max replied, a smirk on his face whilst his gaze remained unwavering as he held y/n close. In that stolen moment, surrounded by nothing but the music and the warmth of Max's touch, y/n felt a surge of emotion welling up inside him as he said

"You are half my soul,"

{flashback end}

“max, Max” the manager shook max’s shoulder to get his attention “we are here” the manager said in a soft voice, max nodded and got out the car walking into the hospital but with the news already broken people were gathering around. Max had no energy to deal with anyone, he ignored everyone around him. The manager led him into the hospital but max doesn’t say much except a thanks as the memories of y/n clouded his mind as if it were a slow motion movie.

Max now sat in the waiting room while y/n was still in the operation room, max was now told that as the car caught on fire y/n tried to pull himself out but he didn’t realise that his legs were stuck. Max felt like his whole world had stopped, he tried to hold in his emotions not wanting to cry.

{flashback}

Under the shade of their favourite oak tree, max and y/n sat close together back against the trees. Their laughter mingling with the gentle rustle of leaves, their children playing in the background, y/n couldn’t help but smile at mundane and calm it all was. In that moment max stole a glance at y/n, the golden afternoon sunlight painting his features in a soft glow. "You know, you look absolutely breath-taking in this light," max murmured, y/n turned and looked him, y/n’s cheeks red with blush as he chuckled softly “you are flatterer, but thank you” he whispered, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, max reached for his phone, carefully trying to take a picture "What are you doing?" y/n asked, a playful curiosity dancing in his gaze. Max grinned, taking a quick picture now, before y/n could protest. "Capturing the moment," he replied, max heart fluttered at the candid shot of y/n's genuine smile.

{flashback end}

Max is brought out of his thoughts by the nurse coming out the operation room and as max looked at the nurse “he is still under surgery, it will take a while” the nurse said softly before leaving. Max leaned his head against the wall with his eyes closed not wanting to think about anything anymore-he just wanted y/n to be okay. In that moment the manager walks over to max and lightly shakes him “it’s the nanny” max looks at the phone and was quick to realize it was y/n’s, a soft sigh leaves max’s lips as he grabs the phone, as max puts the phone close to his ear he realizes the kids are on the call instead of the nanny “papa?” he hears ashton’s voice “hey kiddo, its dad” max tries to make his voice sound happy as much as he could in the moment “dad, where’s papa?” the 5 year old asked “um-he-he is just busy with something”

“b-but papa said he would read us a story” the 5 year old on the call sounded as if he was about to cry “hey hey ash please don’t cry…how-how about I read the story to you and riley?”

{timeskip}

[sad ending]

It felt like years had passed by just waiting in the waiting room, this time the surgeon appears with the same nurse as before with the look on their faces almost made max want to throw up. Max was still in his entire racing suit, he felt like it was constricting him feeling too close to his skin.

“We’re sorry. Y/n’s injuries were deeper and too severe then we predicted. He passed away, there was nothing more we could do” the surgeon says, it felt like the world came crashing down onto Max’s shoulders, he carried weights everyday at gym yet this weight felt like it would crush him. Max wasn’t even breathing at this point he almost falls back and drops into the chair “we’ll give you a moment” the surgeon says before looking at the manager.

Max’s tries to say something but all that could escape his throat was a sob.

They just had a talk about this, y/n was supposed to announce his retirement after this race. They were going to go back to their house after the season, they had planned it all. All of it lost in mere moments.

Max was the one who was reckless driver, if something like this were to ever happen it was supposed to be him, he’d be the one who was in that room.

Maybe this was a just a horrible nightmare he is getting cause of his concussion, maybe he is still a sleep in the hotel bedroom they were staying in.

There was clear denial, he didn’t want to think about it. It hurt to think about it a sort of hurt where someone had torn his limbs agonisingly slowly to cause him the worst pain they could.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked at the manager before looking at the surgeon “can-can I see him?” max asks his voice trembling and unrecognizable. Cracked and distorted like it was a child asking their dad for something after being shouted at. The surgeon looked at the manager before looking at max and nodding “of course”

The nurse who had come out earlier gives max a sympathetic smile before disappearing to make sure y/n was okay to be seen, before coming out the room and letting max in. Y/n’s body was covered by a white sheet, max walked closer only for him to close his eyes and turn and leave the room.

He couldn’t, he couldn’t see the love of his life like this. He couldn’t see ‘the half of his soul’ like this.

----

Telling the kids alone was an emotional turmoil but he had to tell them, they had the right to know. But having to be at the funeral made max numb, with hearing sorries from every corner and person who walked by him. Daniel and Charles (the kid’s god fathers) were looking after the kids who though didn’t completely understand but knew they had lost something. Max just sat there, not being able to say a word. He hadn’t cried once after seeing y/n in the room. Max just stared at the coffin as eulogies and heartfelt speeches were given.

Y/n’s gone, he’s gone…forever.

Max could never be the same, he could never be able to look at anything in the same way. It was all grey now. Max sat there not wanting to leave, he couldn’t even think about leaving. He sits there until Victoria walks over to him “…its time to go max” she says softly while putting a hand on his shoulder gently “we can come back later” she says before offering him, her hand. To her max had never looked so drained in a way. He looked like someone had sucked all of the joy out of him, max looked weak to her, max was never weak even when they were kids. He always tried to be strong no matter what had happened.

In that moment both charles and daniel came over to the two siblings. Daniel kneeled in front of max whilst charles grabs max’s hand “max come on, you can’t sit here all day” charles says and with that max got up though he didn’t tear his gaze away from the now buried coffin “he-he was supposed to retire after this season, he scolded me about not being safe and careful and being reckless, he we-we were working on having another kid” tears starting to gather in his red itching eyes, blurring his vision. Max’s voice raw and cracked “we will get you through this max, we will always be here for you…always” Daniel pulled max in for a hug. For Daniel, y/n was the person who got him through the darkest of times. Daniel loved y/n, loved him like little brother. Y/n was like a family for everyone on the grid, he’d leave everything that happened on the track on the track and help anyone who’d need his help off track.

Daniel was there when y/n told him about max, daniel was there when the two married, had their first kid. He was there since day one. And the same went for charles. Charles knew, he knew the depth of the love max felt for y/n, he would spent hours and hours talking about y/n even after they were married. Charles wasn’t even sure how they were going to help him through this because really he was not sure there will ever be a day that max could truly ever move on from y/n.

____________

‘I could have never imagined you not being here, its been 6 months and I still don’t know how to live without you. You brought light to my life and now its dark I can’t see anything without you, I miss you a lot more than I realized. Things keep happening and I find myself wishing I could tell you about them’

‘its been a year and I’ve been writing to you every day…I don’t even know why I do it but it just makes me feel at peace, that for a moment I’m hugging you again, that I have you in my arms again.

In the past year we did move from the house we bought together, I wrote to you about when that happened, it was too much to stay in that house for the kids…and me if I’m being honest.

You know whats funny, ever since Riley’s 5th birthday she is been very keen on getting into karting and eventually getting into f1. We had plans on getting both of them into karting and seeing where it went for them so I might do it…but I’m scared, I have fears now. I don’t even want to talk about it or even think about it. When she talks about karting she almost gets the same smile you did when you talked about racing. I try hard for them, I even go to therapy regularly and I know you will be cheering right now. God I miss you every second of the day, with everything I do. From going to the gym, to cooking food, it just makes me miss you too much’

‘its here 14 years later, riley made her debut in f1. She was so excited and instead of her being nervous I was but I remembered what you’d you tell me when I would be nervous ‘I’m right here…always’ but you…you weren’t there but I knew you were there in sprit supporting riley, I could feel your excitement somehow. Especially after she got the podium, it was a feeling, a deep feeling. I guess you were right…you are half my soul’

--------------

[happy ending for leo:)]

It felt like years had passed by just waiting in the waiting room, this time the surgeon appears with the same nurse as before. Max couldn’t figure out anything from the surgeon’s facial expression “h-how is he?” max finally asked, the surgeon gives a sympathetic smile “...he is going to be okay, he did code during the operation but he is okay” the surgeon says, it felt like the pressure on his shoulders was lifted. Max felt like he could finally breathe, relieve taking over his body that he almost falls back and drops into the chair “we’ll give you a moment” the surgeon says with a gentle smile.

Max sat there for a moment, trying to say something like a thank you but all that could escape his throat was grateful sob.

Max felt grateful, max just wanted to hold y/n. He had assumed the worst, he thought that his whole life would come plummeting down but y/n was okay, his husband was okay.

He felt a hand on his shoulder in that moment, he wiped some tears that escaped his eyes and looked up at the manager before looking at the surgeon “can-can I see him?” max asks his voice trembling trying not to cry for sheer happiness. The surgeon looked at the manager there was some hesitation in the surgeon’s eyes before looking at max and nodding “of course but he needs to be shifted into a room first”

With that the surgeon smiled at left while the nurse from earlier gave max a sympathetic smile before disappearing to make sure y/n was okay to be moved to a private room already knowing about the crowd forming outside.

The nurse from earlier came out the operation room and asked max to follow him. Arriving to the room y/n was taken into the nurse opened the door before letting max in. Y/n laid there, eyes closed, oxygen mask on his face, max took a deep breath as he walked further into the room. He could’ve never imagined seeing y/n like this, in such a condition. Max’s eyes fell on y/ns hand closest to him, wrapped up in bandages “the surgeon is going to come back in a few to explain everything” the nurse says before leaving.

Max looked at y/n before pulling a chair beside the bed to look at y/n “I thought I was the one who would give you a scare… not the other way around y/n/n” max whispered before he hears the door to the room slide open. The doctor looked at max and nodded as max got up and looked at the doctor “how are you holding up?” the doctor asked max “I’m doing okay, I just want to make sure y/n is okay” max answered not looking directly at the doctor, who smiled sympathetically “he will be…if you are by his side holding his hand, he will be okay” the doctor says as max looks at them and nods “I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to reply to me honestly” max frowned at that and nodded “go ahead”

“is y/n passionate about driving, I know you both are race car drivers so I want to make sure” the doctor asks, max frowned “…he-he is passionate about it but we-we just talked last night about him wanting this to be his last season” the doctor nodded “well I don’t think y/n will be able to drive by the end of the season, the crash that happened had massive effect on his legs which also caused blood loss.” Max nodded and looked at y/n, taking a deep breath “yeah…I figured that…is-will-will he be able to walk again?” max asks looking at the doctor now who nodded “there is potential, with extensive physical therapy he will be able to…but with recovering patients it is very common to feel stuck or like nothing is happening and they would need someone to be a shoulder they can lean on” the doctor says completely making sure that it was clear to Max, who tried very hard not to hold y/n’s burned hand “the burns-” the doctor starts but is cut off by max “I-I thought the suits were fire proof” max says as the doctor nodded “they are fire proof, but the fire was too harsh and because of the fire proof suit he got first degree burns that will heal pretty quickly…as for right now he is sleeping cause of the pain meds so he is going to wake up in a few hours. I would recommend you be here when he does wake up” the doctor says with a sympathetic smile and walks out after patting max’s shoulder.

Max looked at y/n, he sniffed and moved his chair to the other side of the room so he could hold y/n’s uninjured hand though there was an IV in it. Max gently grabbed y/n’s hand “you are a real ass you know that” max whispers “all that talk about being safe and careful just seemed to be for me, huh?” max laughed as he was joking with y/n in that moment, hoping for y/n to wake up and laugh at this and make some snarky comment but he was met with silence. Max rested his head on the bed while looking at Y/n, eventually falling asleep himself.

Max felt someone’s hand in his hair, playing with it gently. Eyebrows frowned as he woke up and looked at y/n, max sat there looking at y/n in shock who softly smiled “y-y*groan*you look li-li*cough*like you’ve seen a ghost” max snapped out of the shock and got up pulling y/n in a hug keeping in mind to be gentle “I-I’ll get you some water” max says in a hurry before walking to the table to get the water, he walks back to y/n before helping him drink the water “you are okay” max breaths out as y/n smiled “I-I’m okay” he moved his hand and held max’s hand but max saw the look on y/n’s face “…the doctor told you?” max asks as he sits on the edge of the bed as y/n nodded “i-i…I don’t know w-what to feel” y/n says and looked down at his hand that held max’s who grabbed the had gently and kissed y/n’s knuckles softly “I will be by your side through all of this y/n/n” max whispers as he wipes the tears that escaped y/n’s eyes “I’ll always be here”

{timeskip 3 weeks later}

Both max and y/n with the kids were back home, max had seen y/n’s mood change a lot. He would usually spend a lot of his off time playing with the kids or working on his many hobbies, but after getting back y/n had just either been in their room or in the dining room for dinner when max would help bring him out the room. Max had talked to y/n about it but he just said “I’m fine, I can’t move my legs without your help that’s why I’m in the room most of the day” max would sigh “you can tell me when you want to be out the room” y/n just shook his head and closed his eyes as he was already laying down “I’m getting sleepy, I wanna sleep”

It had been a few days since max had talked to y/n about it, now they were in the car with the kids after y/n’s physical therapy. The car had never been this silent, it seemed like the kids sensed that something was wrong, max sighed and looked at the rear-view mirror and put on a smile “you guys waannnt to get chicken nuggets??” max asked and both the kids perked up and nodded “yayyy” riley says excitedly, max looks at y/n who had small smile on his face hearing riley’s excited-ness “would you like something too?” max asks y/n who nods and moves his hand to hold max’s free hand “I’ll have my usual…” he adds with a soft smile looking at max who nods with a soft smile

Sitting in their bedroom max looks at y/n “you seemed better today…” max said as y/n sighed softly before looking at max “I’m sorry…I know I haven’t been the best hus-anything actually” y/n moves his hand close to max’s before pausing and pulling his hand away though max grabbed y/n’s hand and smiled at him, in a way encouraging y/n to talk “I-I knew I told you that I would leave racing after the season but…I-I was actu-actually excited about the last couple of races but this-this just destroyed everything I had worked for…I don’t-don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to drive again” Max had never seen y/n this disheartened, no matter what would happen y/n would always try and be positive but this was a completely different side of y/n that max had never in the 6 years they had been together. “...you could drive y/n/n, you just need to work hard to get to that point…your physical therapist said today, you were showing improvement way more improvement then last week” max says as he moves closer to y/n, gently pulling him in a hug “I’m sorry…” y/n whispers again only for max to kiss his forehead and whisper “it’s okay baby…we will figure this out”

{timeskip}

It had been a month since the conversation, ever since y/n’s mood and behaviour improved quite a lot, he felt like his old self which not only impacted his mood but his performance in physical therapy.

After having dropped the kids at day-care, max and y/n were now at the physical therapy. As they entered y/n smiled at his physical therapist, they had planned a surprise for max as he hadn’t been there the past week as ashton had caught the flu. After the usual warmup and exercises the physical therapist looks at y/n before saying “why don’t we try walking without the railings?” that caught max’s attention “are you sure he is ready?” he asked in a concerned tone as y/n tries to hide his smile. In all honesty they had tried walking without railing before and y/n exceled in it with flying colours “he is been walking very smoothly with the railings it’s only right to give it try without railing”

“I wanna give it a try” y/n’s voice interrupts what max is about to say, he smiles at max “I think it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try you know…and if does I’ll say” y/n smiled at the joke he made which in turn made max shook his head “let’s give it a try then” max says as he stands up properly just in case as y/n stands up with the help of the physical therapist who gives him an encouraging smile and whispers “let’s surprise him”

Y/n takes a couple careful steps with the help of the physical therapist before dropping his hand and in that moment max moves closer to grab y/n but he stops max “just…just look” y/n adds as he walks towards max who seemed to be in a shock. In that moment y/n’s gym trainer enters the room they were in and just stands there in complete and utter shock. Y/n smiles as he grabs max’s hand and gently pulls him in a hug, max’s mouth hangs open like he is just seen a ghost…but in a good way. Max couldn’t help himself when he pulled away and pulled y/n in for a kiss who laughed softly before whispering “what did you think about the surprise?” y/n had his usual cheeky smile that had made max fall for him in the first place.

{timeskip}

As the moment got closer, his heart raced. Breathing shallow, palms sweaty as with each step gets heavier as doubts ran through his mind. Yet, there is a flicker of determination pushed him forward.

A hand on his shoulder snaps him out of his mind “y/n?” Daniel’s voice enters his ears making him look over his shoulder and put on a smile “ready for the first race of the season?” Daniel asks already knowing the anxieties running through y/n’s mind “a li-little nervous but I’m ready to beat you…again” y/n laughed a little at daniel’s offended look “sure you will” he says as he sees max walking over “well your ‘other half’ is here, that’s my queue to leave” daniel says jokingly before getting up, patting y/n’s shoulder as max walks over and sits beside his husband.

“how are you doing?” max says as he hands y/n his balaclava and helmet “…it’s okay to feel nervous baby” max whispers grabbing y/n’s hand, gently and unconsciously running his thumb over y/n’s wedding ring “I know-I know its okay to feel nervous but-but I have never fekt this nervous before stepping into the car” Max nods “I get that, and the trainer said that this feeling is natural after…after everything that happened” max turns y/n’s face towards him “you are going to be okay…I know you will be y/n/n” y/n looks at max and smiles “…well then get ready to loose Mr.Verstappen” max laughs at that as he shakes his head “we will see who wins, Mr.Verstappen…but whoever does win gets to pick how the night ends” Max smirks as he looks up when y/n stands up and reaches his hand out “deal” the smirk on y/n’s face made max happy to have gotten his y/n back.

Walking over to his car, he looks at max and pulls his balaclava and helmet before getting in his car and closes his eyes for a moment before he hears “its lights out and away we go”

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, danielriccardo and 809,988 others

ynln-offcial: From physical therapy, to everyday walks with ashton and riley to getting p1 in the first race of the season. And I want to thank everyone for all the well wishes, and most of all I want to thank max, daniel and charles for supporting me through it. But as all things come to an end by announcing what I should’ve announced during the last season.

I hereby announce my retirement at the end of the 2024 season. I’m a sole believer in looking forward rather than looking at the past, and I believe it is time for me to move on to something more. The decision was definitely a hard one but it does come to the reason of leaving, f1 has always been my top priority and my passion ever since I can remember but as things change so does my passions and goals for life change and racing no longer goes side by side with my wishes and goals moving forward. Though I love this sport and will always have a special place in my heart for all it’s given me and taught me, it’s time to move on. The memories made will forever be ones to cherish and love. Thank you for letting me share the track with you and goodbye.

x yn

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maxverstappen1: ❤️ ❤️ *liked by ynln-official* ynln-official: love you ❤️

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this was longer then i realized so enjoy this angst piece children (lmao) i haven't proof read this so if there were any mistakes, i'm sorry. But i hope you all enjoyed this. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤️

tagging: @leosxrealm (i'm sorry for this)

#eli writes #f1 x male reader #x male reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #max verstappen #max verstappen x male reader #f1 x reader #f1 x ftm reader #x ftm reader #max verstappen x ftm reader

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starluvsx · 1 year ago

Text

★𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𖦹 𝐏!𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤

proofread:YUPPP

word count:1.4K

WARNINGS:swearing?thats rlly it

A/N:i wanna do more headannons and stuff like this.this was rlly cute and fun to write.also I look wish the baby project was like a thing at my school but we don't even got working lights in some of the bathrooms soooo.

nick

you guys turned to each other as soon as the teacher said you could choose parameters

y'all were so convinced you would be great at taking care of the kid

you were wrong

You guys didn’t know you were supposed to change the baby until one of your friends told you

the first night nick took the baby too his house and left it on the kitchen table for six hours

he didn't realize he left it there till his mom came home from work and heard crying

you left it in your backpack twice

people said you were starting to look like an actual mom because of how stressed you were over this robot baby

almost set the bay on fire then you guys were trying to make pancakes

"so then I told her I was like why the fuck would you-"you began before you realized neither of you had the baby.you looked around before seeing the babies head dangerously close to the fire coming from under the pan in the stove. "Nick oh my gosh!"you said as you shot up from your seat at the table, grabbing the plastic baby from the counter. “you almost killed her!"you dramatically said as you cradled the baby, touching it's now warm head lightly.you didn't let him touch the baby for the next 2 days.

"y/n I have to hold the baby eventually,I don't wanna fail."He tried to negotiate a few days later.

"only if you promise not to put my baby's head near an open flame again."you asked him to do while rocking the baby.

"bitch im not gonna burn your baby."he joked, making the two of you laugh.you then handed him the baby, still smiling at your best friend's stupid joke. as soon as the baby was in his arms though it began to cry and wail. "Actually you can have your baby back"he said before handing it back to you jokingly.his gesture made the both of you laugh even more.

you guys got a C+, partly because some of the babies' hair was a little burnt.

Matt

treated that baby as if it was real.

literally named it Issac

set timers for every time he had to feed it and change it

The baby had a built-in voice box to make him laugh so he loved to make it laugh and giggle.

wouldn't let the kid go

had to stay on the phone with you on the nights you kept the baby

like the whole night

there was one time where you forgot to feed the baby and he literally freaked out

on the last week of the project he realized he didn't wanna give the baby back

you were already done with it though

everyone at school said you guys were like actual parents by the end of it

you didn't even realize how attached he was to the baby until you walked in on him sleeping cuddled ups that the baby

your phone rang from inside your pocket.the gas station you worked at was empty at the moment so you didn't hesitate to answer it. "Matt" read the caller id, confusing you because he knew you were at work but you still picked it up nonetheless. "Hey baby."he said into the phone.

"hi matt, what’s up,i’m at working right now so I can't talk for long" you explained as you saw a car pull into the parking lot.the headlights standing out in the darkness

"Well i was just wondering if you wanted to come over after your shift, i got some snacks but nobody to share em with." he asked cheekily though the phone.the people from outside stepped into the gas stations mom and her daughter.you laughed at his slyness until faint baby cries in the background.

"Is that isaac?did you forget to feed him?''you asked worriedly through the phone.the mom and her daughter looked at you confused as your young face was talking, presumably, about her baby.

"No I just have to change him" he explained through the phone.shuffling could be heard from the other line before you could say anymore.matt letting out a dad like groan while getting up made you smile to yourself.

"ok yea i'll come over in a little, probably like 9:30, is that okay?"you asked through the

phone.he mumbled a small 'yea thats fine' before we said 'I love you's and 'goodbye's and hung up.the lady and her kid coming up to the register once I put my phone in my pocket.

later

I let myself into the house and was greeted with Mary Lou and Nick watching a movie in the living room. "Hey guys,"I said sweetly, smiling and waving at the pair. They greeted me the same way before I asked "is Matt in his room?"

"Mhm" Mary Lou hummed. I walked down the hall till I made it into his room.i knocked on the door before opening in slowly.i was met with matt sleeping soundly,plastic baby cuddled up to his chest.i giggled a little before taking out my phone to take a picture.

Once I snapped the picture I tapped him on the shoulder lightly to not scare him.he fluttered his eyes open and looked at me tiredly. "oh hey babe" he mumbled out while sitting up and looking around wearily. "Was I cuddling with the baby?" he asked,confused at the doll that was in his now unraveled arm.

"yea you were"I laughed out before moving the 'baby' and climbing into bed with him.

"I was wishing it was you"he said as he pulled closer to him.the little comment making me laugh lightly.

I turned my body to face him before asking "so where are the snacks?" which made him

reach over to his bedside table and grab some chips, candy and 2 sodas.

"right here"he said while smiling and kissing me on the cheek.

you guys got an a+ on the project and your teacher even said you would be “perfect parents one day"

Chris

he actually asked you to be his partner instead of it being the other way around

It was way more stressful than you guys thought it would be

First you guys lost the bottle for a whole day

Literally looked up and down to find it but you just actually could not.

Turns out Chris left it in his locker

He def posts pictures of him and the baby with captions and stuff saying “ me and @youruser babyyyy” and “I think she looks more like me but idk” on instagram and snap

Was actually a very good parent despite thinking he wouldn't be

Dropped the baby like twice though

He also bought like little clothes for the baby so she wasn’t just walking around nakedly

you were so confused when he brought them home

when he would play video games you would tease him and ask him to "not swear in front of the child"

both of you ended up very emotionally attached to the kid

was very committed to being an actual dad after the fact

you guys were tired.watching a movie in chris' bed after a long day at school wasn't the best idea for staying awake.but while you were very tapped into the movie, you could also simultaneously feel his eyes boring into you.you didn't know why but also didn't think much of it.he's always been a bit of a starer.

you decided to continue focusing on the movie until it was abruptly paused. "hey why'd you do that?"you questioned.looking over at the boy who had been looking at you most of the night.

"Wanna have a kid?"he asked.the question leaving you stunned and confused at the sudden idea.kids had always been a possibility in both of your minds but it never something that could manifest into a real physical thing.

"Right now, like at this age?"you asked him to clarify.

"well now, in a years, five years, i don't really care"chris answered

"definitely not now, maybe when we're older with a house, a steady paycheck and you know, a high school diploma."you attempted to explain.

"I can't wait that longggg."he whined

"Well I definitely can,"you sassed. "Now turn the movie back on, I wanna see how this ends."

"probably with them having a baby."he joked under his breath as he reached for the remote to do what you asked

"chris you've seen this movie before you know how it ends"

#sturniolo triplets #influencers #x reader #youtube #celebrity #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #fluff #cute #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris surniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolos

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suenitos · 6 months ago

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I need someone to explain the !cdnf lore to me 😔

oh my godddddd how do i even go about this... so much of this is like you had to be there but i'll try my best ok. here are some things that helped me tremendously while writing:

cdnf manifesto (pretty much all cdnf moments compiled into one document with streams attached)

some cdnf moments

cdnf is an interesting case because it kinda emerged a little bit before the time the separation between Lore (plot) and Real Life officially happened (in my opinion this is when dream put out the please use c! to refer to our characters tweet) where a lot of the fandom attitude towards rpf was still being kinda weirded out by it, so a lot of people were drawing dnf "as a dare"/"because i lost a bet" and infamously "only shipping the minecraft skins" slash characters. previous to this/around the time of fundy's wedding video there was no real culture surrounding shipping most characters in a serious immersive way according to the story really up until the election and around the november 16 event. everything earlier than the explicitly described roleplay is kinda shaky at best in being considered canon, except for the kingdom line where cdream tells cgeorge that he will be the next king once they take back the land from lmanburg. theres also someee moments where theyre protective of each other during this war as cgeorge had always been on the side of the americans, kinda like irl which is a common theme in why a lot of people find this relationship fascinating. like. the rituals. we were still in dreams "straight" arc mind you.

a lot of the canon relationship relies mostly on the protective knight and king dynamic around late 2020 in which cdream crowns cgeorge king after he deems him more neutral to every conflict going on in canon over ceret, because of the running joke that irl george slept through every major event and he was building a mushroom house during the november 16 event. the big thing to remember about george is he wasnt super into the rp as much as dream was and we didnt see a ton of designated lore streams from him as a result, leading him to incorporate his sleepy/inactive nature as part of his character to sort of "excuse" him from a lot of the plot and from interacting with other characters. this was later though, but during the time of king/knight cdream was shown to be very protective of cgeorge and doing things like buying him flowers in secret (this was before fundy wedding was retconned but i still consider this one canon), stealing back his fish beckerson from cquackity i believe, and going to war against lmanburg and building obsidian walls surrounding the place AND exiling ctommy BECAUSE ctommy and co burned down cgeorge's house he built before becoming king. at the time people did read that as cdream using cgeorge as an excuse to do build walls and enact exile but i like to read it romantically i think thats more fun.

but as the person who created the server along with dream he was bound to have one of the most important relationships to him no matter what. after a while though, cdream dethroned cgeorge to re-crown ceret as cgeorge was starting to align himself with cquackity, csapnap, and ckarl in making a new independent nation that wasnt lmanburg, dsmp, or the badlands named el rapids (making him no longer the most neutral of the server) and this is the moment cdnf (and cdteam really) kinda split up for good in a way. do remember the reason this even happened is ALLEGEDLY because george irl wasnt super into the lore and dream gave him an out through lore, yet he underestimated the DRAMAAAA george would give as his character which led to a way more compelling story/narrative surrounding dethronement as cdream's complete betrayal of both cgeorge and csapnap to focus on other matters like ctommy or whatever. sadly, no more cdnf proper after this that doesnt come in the form of crumbs/mentions from other characters (such as two times csapnap confronting cdream and mentioning george to which cdream has very Normal responses) or dreams that dubiously affect real life (in canon) but cdream does what he does and cgeorge moves to kinoko kingdom with csapnap and ckarl. but honestly i think the most tragic part of dethronement was probably the fact it was on quackity's stream tbh 😒

the first time dreamxd showed up on the server was during george's tiktok banned me stream due to the fact cdream was in prison canonically but dream still wanted to play with george on the server on the rare occasion he got on, and this was the only stream that featured dream voicing dreamxd without filters, because it was a semi rushed decision. this stream could technically be considered the first cgeorge dream presented to us, but the concept that george's lore streams were dreams came one stream later featuring cniki and cbad as well. anyway this stream is kinda technically not canon because dnf and quackity were rping george getting banned from tiktok so its very much Not lore in that sense but it again featured a lot of dream being protective of george, "betraying" him and groveling and george acting sad and crying irl on command. rituals. ONE MORE THING TO ADD ABOUT THE PRISON THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT: cdream is captured and put into prison before this stream as previously said, but almost EVERY SINGLE character is there to watch EXCEPT cgeorge. meaning, he may have been in deep sleep at this point. HOWEVER, he never visits the prison ONCE in canon. more on this later.

anyway the next stream features some interesting implications about cdream and dreamxd's connection like are they two separate entities? are they split from a singular entity? can cdream take over dreamxd's body temporarily or is it dreamxd mimicing his voice and body (dream was using the same skin for both). also, dreamxd had access to creative mode which led many to characterize him as a god of the server and dream incorporated that into his character as a result, but also that he's a massive fucking simp for cgeorge in giving him items he asks for which again. rituals. this is the stream where cgeorge and dreamxd become friends forever as well.

but before explaining the last lore stream george ever did and also some stuff that happened after on cdream's side, there are also things to address regarding symbols and things that just made cdnf's relationship a lot closer than the others. for example, the wooden pickaxes they left in the nether near the beginning of the server's birth that philza eventually found and eret put in a museum. another is their literal child nugget (this one is a stretch tbh but it makes me smile) a chicken that george had in dream's room during the construction of the community house before a sewer ran through it :/ this one is purely me in that i also consider tnt to be a symbol of both cdnf in that cdream uses it a lot and cgeorge uses it to blow up the world in his last stream, and they both use it to blow up cquackity's las nevadas sign both in the dream and in canon. but the most important one of all is The Shield.

this damn. motherfucking shield. with a blue field masoned banner. was somehow the longest running symbol surrounding cdnf. i have gone to bed sick over this shield. a brief timeline about it: the first time we saw it was when cdream had it equipped during the obsidian lmanburg wall incident and cgeorge famously saying "im not going to be hurt if dream's next to me". cdream doesnt show up again with it to my knowledge but CGEORGE has it during the lil nas x stream (cdream in prison) during which he gets killed and lil nas x briefly equips it before karl gets it back to george near the end/after the stream. we never saw cdream give him this shield, it's kinda maybe implied that he gave it based on the fact its the same design?? who knows. later, the shield gets stolen by sapnap during another dream (this was during george's first year anniversary stream) featuring dream! where he dreams that cdream left prison and joined cgeorge csapnap cbad and ckarl on a tour of the server and kinoko. karl steals it back from csapnap during sapnap's stream with drista in secret, and manages to get it BACK to george MANY MONTHS LATER after an mcc and time travel shenanigans without sapnap knowing. george is GENUINELY happy about this damn shield and puts it in his enderchest, nearly freaking out when cpunz kills him and he thinks he lost it. super normal behavior. anyway. interlude over back to the last stream.

cgeorge's i blew up the dream smp deserved an oscar. seriously. masterclass in acting and streaming. the key point to remember from earlier here is cgeorge had NEVER visited the prison, but a specific moment from quackity's forming las nevadas stream revealed him standing outside the prison, looking inside, before cquackity got his attention, so he was clearly thinking about visiting, yet never had the courage or will to see him again. anyway this stream's inciting incident is cgeorge noticing no one is on the server and encounters cdream LEAVING the prison. they have a confrontation in which cdream asks cgeorge to join him or else he destroys kinoko. he kills cgeorge. after beating ctechno And cdream, cgeorge goes on a destruction spree and also kills cquackity ckarl and ccallahan before finally killing god aka dreamxd, his last link to cdream/humanity. that sequence where he fights him is oddly flirty. anyway he then goes on to go to the End and almost kills the dragon to rule over a world of nothing except.. it was all a dream. cgeorge ends the stream furious. this is the last we ever see of cgeorge.

meanwhile cdream gets taunted of cgeorge on various occasions: with csapnap, with cbad, and at the end with ctommy. one of the signs he has listing his plans has the name george on it, discovered by ctommy and ctubbo before they go defeat him. during the finale, ctommy goes into limbo and sees/hears cdnf during dream's FIRST dsmp stream before he abandoned showing his pov and convinces cdream destroying the world isnt the way before everyone blows up from the nuke L. thats the end of canon before "season 2" which. lets not get into that but them also dying to the dragon when the official end to the dsmp stream happened was really cute :( and its very poetic to note that irl dnf started this insaneeee phenomenon an ocean away and ended it all together in the same house in LA :(

last notes: dream fucking ADORED this ship so much that when he held a fanfic contest (dnf barely being accepted by the mods but allowing lore fics) he chose a cgeorge-centric cdnf fic as the winner. he liked so much fanart of it, and he particularly liked dreamxd and cgeorge fanart. he also accidentally revealed two google searches during one of his geoguessr streams which were "georgenotfound dream smp wiki" and "georgenotfound dream SMP king short story wattpad". okay man. protip ao3 is better for inspiration but whatever. but lets also not discount george here as he was also a freak and liked the famouss king/knight fanart of their characters near kissing and replied "hot" before people really took the concept of cdnf or any shipping super seriously. now, you can debate whether he meant that seriously or as a joke, but based on his streams if you were to find anything to ship, you seriously could not do that with anyone other than dream in either his cdream or dreamxd form unless you were looking to break up ckarlnapity in some way but those ships were less popular, probably because of irl dnf's real life chemistry. cdream is another story but thats not the focus here, though i wont deny there isnt grounding for a lot of other popular cdream ships, which is fine.

over time, dnf became incredibly close as friends and as a duo, and in terms of fandom developments, over the course of 2021 leading into 2022, shipping dnf as real people and not the pseudo heatwaves/accelerate/minecraft skins image of them became much more popularized. as dnf grew closer they did less streams in lore and their real life dynamic became a lot more interesting the closer the face reveal became. but in a way, in my opinion, the lore streams were a way for dnf in particular to sort of deal with their situation due to covid and dream's inability to go outside and do shit, in a sense the prison arc kinda symbolizes dream's irl situation though thats likely not the case. but a lot of their dynamic shone through in their characters via dream being very protective of george and george caring about him in his own way/being kinda obsessed with him in general.

overall, i think the best part of this ship is just how founded on delusion, crumbs, and denial from the fans it was yet how surprisingly supported it was by dnf themselves over time as the server became super mega BONKERS insanely popular??? like it is genuinely one of the only actual canon slash r ships in the story, moreso implied than anything else but holding much more water than something like ckarlnapity in the end which is CRAZY. the imagery and inspiration that came out of the ship was incredible and yet its still a very tragic story in canon that doesnt actually truly get resolved (i like to imagine season 2 fixed this). however in the end, although cdnf didnt get a happy ending, irl dnf did, in meeting/living with each other and officially shedding off this wild part of their life and career as characters in a story coping with their real life circumstances, to living life to the fullest physically together and happy. :)

#anon.txt #ask.txt #SUPER LONG FUCKING POST WARNINGGGG #cdnf.txt #dsmp.txt

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bestworstcase · 10 days ago

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[Same anon who was talking about when Salem will find out the truth abt Ozmas curse] yknow, thinking of the Ozma-Salem reconciliation, I'm curious about what will happen when everything is over. Specifically I'm curious on if they'll stay immortal or if they'll choose to become mortal again? Being honest, I could see Salem choosing to stay immortal, probably turning what was used to harm her into something she owns (if she hasn't already tbh). I'm... less sure about Oz? I could see him wanting to, but how he reincarnates is... definitely a problem considering it's identity issues if it were a form of immortality lmfao.

Of course, this depends on them getting that choice in the first place, but I feel like it wouldn't be satisfying if they didn't, though i have no idea how they would get it (i doubt Light would budge, Darkness is probably Ascended, and i theorize Light will ascend and become human, sooo...), unless the Tree has that ability? No idea. I do think Oz will Ascend so maybe that'll be addressed then if that happens (note: if he Ascends, I personally think it'd be fun if he came out a faunus/snake faunus. It's not really a theory, just smth I'd do if I were writing RWBY, and the chances of that happening are pretty slim, IF he ascends at all lol. So it's more a self indulgent thought than a real theory).

Do you have any thoughts on whether or not they'll stay immortal, or both become mortal? It's pure speculation, but that's what makes it fun :P

(BTW I wanted to see if you were doing okay, if you're willing to answer? You disappear sometimes and idk if that's normal or not. Hope you're doing good!)

-🌙 <- for if I decide to send more asks

(yeah i'm doing fine. just busy irl)

anyway—prior to v9 i would have said definitely they both wind up mortal again, but then v9 threw its curveball of overtly questioning the premise that everything must die. immortality for ozlem has hitherto been framed strictly as a curse, because ozma sees it that way; i think it remains to be seen whether salem feels the same, because:

a) "if she were to turn humanity against Light and Darkness, she could rid herself of their curse, or at the very least… she could make them suffer." <- even before her rebellion, salem had begun to accept the possibility that she might never be able to make herself mortal again if she defied the brothers, and she made a deliberate decision to fight back anyway.

b) it has been so long that i have to imagine it is hard for her to even conceive of dying as a real possibility anymore? so even if she theoretically would welcome the chance to die i'm skeptical that it's more than a "what if the world was made of pudding?" type of nonsense hypothetical in her mind.

and c) everything points to "salem wants to change the world" being the correct view, with salem herself envisioning a "new world"—and in the event that is true, salem isn't suicidal full stop.

the thing that makes her immortality a curse has always been isolation and exile, neither of which are innately because she's immortal. indeed the very first thing salem used her immortality to do once she decided to live was connect with people and build a coalition. the reason for her exile in the present is not her immortality per se but the fairytale narrative construing her as the Great Evil. becoming mortal again won't materially change those circumstances.

ozma is in a different boat because, as you note, his form of immortality is bad per se—fatal to his hosts and torturous for him. we have however seen that a living soul without a body will just manifest a new body, both on remnant (penny) and in the ever after (ruby isn't just magically healed in the tree—her whole self is remade, hence the burning rose returns to her in the end—she's disembodied and remakes herself). so the immediate concern with oscar and ozma is to divide their souls, and i think there are a few of possibilities as to how:

literal ascension via the tree

the sword of destruction

silver eyes as the mirror revealing what is true (two, not one)

salem

some combination of 2-4.

from that point the crucial question is whether separating ozma and restoring him to his own body oncedoes or doesn't break his cursed reincarnation forever. if it doesn't (or if he isn't willing to take the risk that it doesn't) then… frankly the simplest and surest way to put an end to ozma reincarnating as a parasite forever is to make him immortal the way salem is immortal. if his soul can't die, he can't be bound to another by light's curse. it is death that empowers his curse.

so to take away what gives light power over ozma, give ozma infinite life. right?

which… i mean, the well of creation gave salem infinite life; she hoped that the pool of grimm would take it away; take from an infinite quantity, an infinite quantity remains; this force of pure destruction could not destroy, so it created… it's possible for two souls to be bound together as one and it's possible for one soul to be divided into two. the possibility of salem dividing her infinite life in order to share it with ozma isn't exactly a leap.

certainly i wouldn't rule out a straightforward ascension through the tree being the answer—it is kind of the obvious course—but i've been rolling dark's parting words to salem around in my mind a lot since v9. "still making demands of your creators?"

that rebellion ended in crushing defeat because they tried to fight back with the gifts the brothers gave them—power that did not in truth belong to humanity, because those gifts were not freely given. this is a lesson salem took to heart, hence her insinuation (in WOR) of aura/semblances being much greaterthan mere magic, cinder using grimm (a kind of power salem claimed for herself after the brothers abandoned it) to mediate her inheritance of the fall maiden (a mere remnant of god-given power bequeathed to modern humans by light's champion, which salem has repeatedly warned cinder to be cautious of), and her recent experiment with combining silver eyes with grimm.

presuming salem is involved in the separation and breaking of ozma's curse at all, i think it's deeply unlikely she would be willing to trust the tree to just fix everything; i think there's a not-insignificant possibility that she has met the blacksmith herself before and may be factoring what she knows about the tree and/or the brothers' history into her plans, but if so it would be more on the level of knowing the brothers are finite and broken, not expecting the tree to save her.

(sidebar: there's an expectation across a lot of the fandom now that the brothers can/will be 'defeated' by tagging in the blacksmith to scold them for being naughty, and that is just… not going to happen. lol. the blacksmith makes it crystal clear that neither she nor the tree can or will intervene, and while the brothers need to ascend and that's the obvious outcome the narrative is moving toward now, convincing light [and dark if he's still around] to do it is a problem remnant's people are going to need to figure out for themselves. also the fandom-wide treatment of the brothers as spoiled little boys who just need mom to scold them is both inane and, frankly, misogynistic—because "well, the brothers are petty assholes but salem is just a spoiled bitch throwing a tantrum because they didn't give her what she wanted, and actually all her problems are self-inflicted" is an outrageous position to hold about a woman hating the genocidal monsters who murdered an entire planet to spite her. and then the cherry on top is anticipating that the conflict will be solved by way of "mommy" swooping in to clean up the mess her silly boys made. come the fuck on.)

anyway, i figure salem will be stridently in the camp of "no, we need to forge our own path." ozma, likewise, i can only imagine feeling extremely dubious of just putting his life into the hands of any god after what light did to him—let alone a god who is completely unknown to him. if he and salem think there is even the smallest chance that the two of them can break his curse by working together without divine intervention, i… think that will be Plan A for sure. after all, THIS is how ozpin closes out 'fairytales of remnant':

One interpretation of this story focuses on the fact that the people caused the problem in the first place. But in my view, it is only natural for us to want to bring more light into the world and “reach for the sun.” And on the brighter side, if you’ll excuse the pun, people were also part of the solution. They not only replaced the sun, a celestial gift from the all-powerful God of Light, but also improved upon it through their own ingenuity. Most importantly, they could not have accomplished this magnificent, godly feat without uniting for a common purpose in a way they never had before. The world once was divided between day and night, light and darkness, but by coming together, and overcoming their inherent jealousy and resentment, people made the darkness just a little bit brighter for all.

a parable about humanity claiming the powers of their creators to perfect their own design; a parable about the world coming together to replace their divine gifts, and in doing so create a better world in divinity's absence. like i'm always saying, ozma's zealotry is grounded in fear—in his terrified certainty that the brothers are all-powerful forces of nature who cannot be fought—but the world salem aspires to create is the one he dreams of too, in his heart of hearts.

as for oz becoming a faunus—i honestly would not be surprised if he did? both thematically (the faunus in the myth are liberated through transformation into their true inner selves -> ozma must be liberated from oscar through transformation into his true self; the faunus mythically participate in their own creation and in doing so free themselves to choose their own destinies, making faunus the symbolic if not literal triumph of salem's rebellion) and, if i'm correct about faunus having been created by salem's transformation in the pool of grimm, also mechanically (in that event she would be the literal god of animals and manifestation of animal-like features representing the inner self follows the metamorphic pattern she created, so if it's predominately her magic mediating ozma's transformation/restoration then it would follow for him to become a faunus.)

but if he does, i think what he'll end up with is an avian trait—like trust love ("if you could only open up a door/spread your wings and fly away from here/write yourself into a fairytale/all your problems would just disappear") and sacrifice ("born an angel, heaven-sent/falls from grace are never elegant") both pretty explicitly, in opposite ways, equate wings with ozma's freedom. (hi @st-whalefall i see you.) and then there's the way ozma describes the branwens' bird forms: "Using this power, I was able to gift the Branwen twins the ability to "see" more, to move freely and be unburdened by their natural bodies. I... well... gave them the ability to turn into birds." <- freedom, unburdening, and clearer sight. IF ozma becoming a faunus through breaking his curse is in the cards, i would think this is pretty blunt foreshadowing.

and if it isn't—well, it's symbolic and might well remain symbolic but another thought i've been rolling around for a while is ozma finding some way of separating himself from oscar as a bird. they're fighting this curse together now; the curse is fighting back, and with the kids returned from the ever after, oscar and oz are going to be hearing about ascension and afteran magic and—maybe, depending on how detailed team rwby is in their account—about "you could just be human, or just a cat, if you wanted."

in one myth, faunus are created by the combination of sapient animals and human beings—through, it might be said, the merger of two souls into a singular new being. blake, in v1, is reading a novel about a man with two souls, fighting for control over his body. ozma loves stories, myths, fairytales—relies onstories to make sense of himself and his life. his curse is a false, corrupted form of ascension, and when blake looked at herself in the tree's mirror, it asked "are you complete? do you wish to return human-and-animal, separated?"

for blake, that was the tree's gentle way of confronting her with her past self-hatred, to help her see and crystallize how much she's grown from being that terrified girl who secretly wished she could just be human. but think about how oz and oscar might take that story.

oscar doesn't like using magic because it makes the merge faster. long ago, ozma carved out his divinely-given magic and created the maidens in hope of sparing his hosts, but the magic of his curse remains. he can't sever himself from his hosts, and fighting the curse outright causes it to lash out and hurt them both. but ozma also did *something* to grant the branwens shapeshifting; either he really did draw on his own curse to do that, or else he used the crown of choice to make it so. either way… the curse keeps trying to force him forward. force him to come out.

in the lost fable, the final outcome of his curse is at least represented by something like a haunting—ozma sees his other-self watching him from outside of himself. this may or may not be literal in the sense of what ozma experiences, but the idea of 'one soul in the body, one soul outside' is narratively in play. and ozma was able to seal himself off from oscar in a way that does seem to have altered the nature of their connection, or at least created room for oscar to reclaim his individuality.

so what happens if ozma gathers all the magic and throws his will behind the curse's attempts to shove him forward, instead of against, with the specific purpose of manifesting himself in some physical form outside of oscar's head, drawing on old myths about faunus being similarly two-in-one that blake's account of the ever after seems to corroborate as having a kernel of truth?

like—why not try something weird and out of the box? what have they got to lose? if it doesn't work then they're back to square one of grappling with the curse, and if it does then not only have they figured out a new way to give oscar some room to breathe but ozma emerging as a bird with a psychic connection to oscar would be real fucking helpful for the coalition as a spy/scout.

#i also just think it would be funny if oz got himself stuck as a bird for a while #funniest option: ostrich.

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3rdvoice · 5 months ago

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New letter column

--- Question about visual design... I believe that making stuff that’s fun and exciting to you, the author, is hugely important to staying engaged in a project. That said, there are times when the direction that most benefits the work isn’t the one that you’re most interested in. 1. How do you approach finding that balance self indulgent design/writing/whatever (things that you find personally appealing or enjoyable to draw) and design that’s less "fun" but serves a purpose. 2. When are "sacrifices"-- exchanging fun for variety or cohesion or flow-- worth it? How much do you think about "fun" when designing? --- Question about "secrets"... The story may not really be *about* the world’s secrets, but given your considerable, cross-platform efforts to avoid spoilers, them nonetheless seems important to what you’re trying to accomplish. 1. How important do you think "secrets" are to this kind of story. Would it be the same if you had a lore blog where you answered everyone’s burning questions? 2. How do you cultivate the self-discipline to avoid blabbing about your ideas. Maybe you don’t struggle with this, but I definitely do. C * September 9, 2024

I’m struggling a little with this framing around self-indulgence! I maybe don’t think of it in a parallel way to you. The whole thing is kind of self-indulgent to me… like cohesion, everything feeling of a piece and moving forward to build a big structure, this is self-indulgent, this is my aesthetic, basically. In terms of vis dev at least, I definitely HAVE built my approach around things I like to draw. I made this setting with room to mess around in ways I can’t predict… A lot of “staying engaged” for me, I have discovered after some thousands of pages of comics, is about planning in ways that don’t lock me in too tightly, and allowing the whole process to have some room for exploration throughout.

The avoiding revealing setting-details thing is firstly just a big central philosophical principle I have about this stuff, which maybe isn’t as widely-held as it used to be. Any story is about sequential information revelation… I am designing the story in every moment to reveal information in a particular order, and I don’t want to undercut the integrity and cohesion of the story by revealing things elsewhere out-of-order. This feels like a basic principle people making stories have kind of always had to abide by! You can’t rely on a reader knowing stuff about your story that’s outside of the text in question (I am interested in how habits of writers and readers seem to be shifting around this lately however). So it’s not ABOUT the secrets maybe, or calling them “secrets” puts too fine a point on it, but I am intentional with how things are laid out!

This info-revelation thing is maybe a little complicated by the literary device of the “INVENTED SETTING” that figures so loudly in my comics. The way we do invented settings lately depends on a shared illusion of an objective PLACE, with its own existence outside of the story. The TRICK, as a writer, is I think to see this illusion itself as something that serves the story. The thing LOOKS bigger than the story in order to lend gravity and evocativeness to the story, but it ISN’T bigger than the story. Or if it IS bigger, it’s only bigger in my own personal notes and inside my own personal brain, so in no way that is relevant to readers. I know that I have broken the rules and done word-of-god stuff sometimes in the past because the “real beyond the story” thing is compelling to me too! But I aim for this. The “self-discipline” question I don’t really have an answer for; it is always kind of a struggle but I’m interested in making comics because that is how I want to reveal the stuff, so that is how I reveal the stuff!

If I were to do a lore-blog it would be me on-the-spot making up answers to questions based on the broad setting-principles I’ve established for myself. It would probably be useful for me as a writing exercise, but I’d lock myself into all sorts of decisions I would later regret, or I’d agonize over how seriously to take material “canonized” in the lore blog. It would extend the space of the story beyond the bounds I’ve so far established, and make it flimsy and untenable!

Picking up on some of this thinking in an answer to another letter, will post in a few days.

lettercol archive

rice-boy.com

#webcomic #graphic novel #webcomic update #3rd voice #evan dahm #comics

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chaosduckies · 6 months ago

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Person getting lost in the woods, borrower person appears (reluctantly) and shows them the way back...

Use whoever, possibly even the two from my last ask...

I have no idea why I kept getting so distracted with this one, but I had lots of fun writing! I love these characters so much, but I don’t really know how I felt about the writing, but it’s okay! We post it like there’s no tomorrow! Hope you enjoy :3 (Probably a lot of mistakes cause I didn’t edit but we post anyways!)

Word Count: 3k

CW: very, very minor blood warning

Lost In The Woods

———Hayven———

The fog around me grew thicker, and all of a sudden I could barely see my own two hands out in front of me. My skin was burning from the cold, making it harder to get through the many bushes and occasional boulder. I pressed my hands against, my mouth, trying to warm them up. If I had realized that this stupid bonfire wasn’t actually real then I might not be lost right now. But here I was, cold, late, tired, a little hungry, but of course I was lost. My phone didn’t have any service, and they farther I walked the thicker the fog grew, showing no signs of people.

“Hello? C-can anyone h-help me!” I screamed for help, thinking of my parents and how they think I’m out having such a great time with my nonexistent friends. Why couldn’t I see that they were lying straight to my face? This would have never happened! I’d be at home, under my blankets and watching tv in my room with some popcorn. Why was I so gullible.

I walked further, in hopes of finding a road, or even something to give me a hint at where I’m at. There has to be something to help me… But it’s like my luck just became worse and worse the longer I stayed here. There was absolutely nothing. No sounds of a river, not the sound of distant cars traveling through the highway, no light except for the small amount emitting from my phone. Absolutely nothing.

My legs were tired from walking around for the past two hours. I sat up against a tree, crunched up to stay warm, though that barely even helped. All I could think about right now is getting under all the blankets at home and falling asleep. Instead the cold air pricked at my skin like icicles, barely keeping me awake. I sighed, resting my head on my knees and wrapping my arms around. Come on there has to be something…

I looked around for what seemed like the thousandth time, still not finding anything. I sighed in defeat, already knowing that I’ll just hav to make it through the night unless some strange miracle appeared. It’d be better to travel through the day anyways, the fog would be gone, less of a chance to get eaten by wolves- I gasped at the thought, now listening closely for the sound of hungry wolves. Do they even attack people? Or do they just attack when they’re provoked? Either way, it’s a new fear unlocked now that I was thinking about it.

“Can someone please help me…” I muttered, tears threatening to fall down my face as I tried my best to blink them back. This was by far one of the worse pranks ever. I mean the teasing is fine, but… this? I could actually die here like this. I shuddered at the thought, hoping that I’ll make it through till the morning.

———Atlas———

As much as I disliked seeing humans in the forest… this one seemed like they were genuinely freaking out. What for? I didn’t know. They had been asking for help from someone who wasn’t even real. The only person who heard it was me, but I didn’t want to show myself. That would just create more problems for me and I did not feel like finding a new place to live.

The forest pretty much gave me everything I could ever need. Food, a place away from humans, peace. It was nice for someone who was three inches tall and didn’t exactly need everything your average person does. Perks of being a vampire I guess. I didn’t have to worry about gathering fruit or anything, mostly because I could just find any animal and… well I guess you can take a wild guess. It was fine though. Only a few humans have ever seen me, and when they did I just ran. What were they going to do anyways? Tell someone that a three inch person was just running around by himself trying to find a place to call home? Hah- unlikely.

I watched as the human curled in on himself, trying to warm themselves up. Did I feel bad? Absolutely. But he shouldn’t have come here in the first place if he knew it was going to be cold. So technically it’s on him that he’s here now. I couldn’t help, otherwise he might come again looking for me if I did… and I’d rather stay by myself where no one could hurt me. I cringed at the thought of being in another humans hand. I know they were strong, but I think I could match their strength with my own if I tried hard enough. I bit the bottom of my lip, still watching the boy tremble as the air grew colder. Should I help them?

The thought never left my mind as I continued to watch carefully. The human shivered, whispering unintelligible words that even I couldn’t hear. Partially because of the strong winds that made the cold air hit my face even harder. I sighed, unaffected and merely found it annoying in the least. I knew it was wrong of me to just leave the human there, possibly lost and probably thinking that some kind of animal would attack him if he stayed for too long. I just couldn’t bring myself to help him. I knew what would happen. The horrors. As soon as I helped him get out of the woods, he’d turn on me and I’d just be some pet. Of course I would fight back, but I knew there was only a sliver of a chance that I would ever be able to escape. Vampire or not, I was still tiny. There was also just… something keeping me from doing such an unpredictable thing.

Even though I decided that I wasn’t going to help them, I still stayed. A part of me just wanted to believe I could help this human out without getting hurt in the process. Not just physically. But what if a did help him and he leaves? That would be a good thing. That way we would both get what we wanted. He could go home and be in the warmth of his home, while I stayed here. Alone. My temporary hut I made out of sticks and some missing items I find when humans are nearby. I groaned quietly to myself. Why couldn’t have been turned into a vampire get rid of my feelings?

Slowly, I made my way towards them, cautious not to make a sound even though I was a hundred percent sure that they wouldn’t be able to even if I wasn’t trying. Still, I treaded carefully. If I was even the slightest bit wrong about this it was running away and finding another home for me. I held my breath, not noticing how shaky my arms were until I had hid near the small bag strapped around their shoulders. I observed before stepping out, my steps slow, taking deep breaths to calm myself as I circled around to directly in front of them. Was I scared? That seemed… out of character for me. There was no way I was scared. Just because my last interaction with a human didn’t end so well didn’t mean I was scared now. I’m wayyy over that- Right?

I crossed my arms, pushing away those thoughts and opened my mouth to speak, “Do you need help?” I had to yell over the harsh wind for them to be able to hear me, my voice slightly strained but nothing I couldn’t handle. They slowly brought their head up, not noticing me and turning their heads frantically in all directions, blinking a few times before his eyes trailed down in defeat, landing right on me. My body nearly jumped, but I kept my composure, eyes unsurprised and arms still crossed.

Their eyes widened, cheeks red from being stained by the piercing cold. We held a silent staring contest, their mouth opening and closing as if they had wanted to speak, but couldn’t think of anything to say. I let out a sigh, speaking for him, “I can help you get out of here.”

He stared at me blankly, his finger pointing to me, a confused expression showing on his face while he struggled to keep his eyes open as a gust of wind blew through, pushing the stinging cold onto his face. He held his hands up to his face to shield himself. I struggled to keep upright, given my height, but I managed.

“H-help me? You know the way?” He excitedly announced, slightly making my ears ring, but I just ignored that for the time being. Why wasn’t he questioning what I was? Humans are naturally curious creatures, shouldn’t he be poking prodding at me like some science experiment? Instead he skipped the entire “what in the actual heck are you.” Maybe all he really wanted was to be tout of here? I mean he didn’t exactly look like the type to hurt anyone… Can I really trust that though?

“I do. I’ll show you.” I shrugged my shoulders like nothing was going on in my head. Everything was going on. Everything that could go wrong, what happens after this interaction. Would he tell people about me? Would I have to find a new home anyways? What if I help him and nothing happens? Just stay lonely with nothing but animals to be my “companions” and sustenance for the rest of my immortal life? It was sad to think about really.

“O-okay. D-d-do you want m-me to h-h-hold you?” He motioned to his hands, cupping them in front of my as he squinted one eye because of the cold. I felt all color drain from my face as I screamed, “No!” Not realizing I jumped backwards, slightly hissing like some animal. We both stared at each other before I fake coughed, recomposing myself, “I’ll just… walk.” I started walking in the direction, hoping that he wouldn’t step on me. I shuddered, hoping nothing like that was going to happen. But the thought crept in and wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

They stood up and followed me, as I lead the way they kept at least two steps behind me at all times, no matter how slowly the intervals were between them. No words were said between us. Mostly because even if I bothered to talk he wouldn’t hear me. I was too quiet. A good and bad thing.

Over time, the wind gradually gave up, enough to where I could hear leaves crunch every time they took a slow step. I had no idea how they came to be so far from here, but I guess there was always a way. There was still some part of me that didn’t trust any part of this, but another part of me that kept saying that this would end differently. That I wouldn’t get hurt or anything bad would happen to me. I found it hard to choose between the two, and kept moving, ignoring the voice in the back of my head.

———Hayven———

I don’t think I really cared that a three inch-tall person was guiding me out of the forest. I just wanted to go home, wrap myself in a blanket and fall asleep being warm. It was still freakishly cold outside, but not as much as before. The wind was dying down as I noticed that it was easier for the tiny person to walk now. I had offered to carry them, but considering their reaction that was entirely out of the question.

Of course I had plenty of questions for them. Like how they’re not bothered by the frigid air surrounding us, or what they ever were. Where they came from. How they know the way out of here. I kept them to myself. They didn’t seem like they even wanted to be asked anything. They just wanted to me to get out so they can live their life in the forest unbothered. There was no way I would be telling anyone about this though. Not like anyone would believe me in the first place.

After a while, they had looked like they kept looking back at me, like they were afraid I would do something. I guess I would think that too if I were as small as he was, but I don’t think I could ever hurt someone. Including him. Even if we had just met. Plus, hurting someone smaller than you just doesn’t seem fair at all. He probably has a life too, why not leave him alone? He’s already helping me plenty, it’s the least I could do. Maybe he would let me come back and give him something to eat? I wouldn’t think there would be a lot of things for him in the forest. That or something easy for him to get.

“Um, are y-you sure you don’t w-want me to help you?” I laughed nervously, the cold still stinging but not as much. So much for some great party they were inviting me too. How did I not realize that it was a trick? Who would even invite me to anything? I sighed to myself, looking back at where we’ve been. We have to be close by now… right? At least to a road?

“No, I’m okay.” He responded, never wavering. I took a small step, watching him look back and cringe away slightly. He was scared of me. That was something I never thought I’d see on a persons face towards me. I didn’t like it. At all.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure you’re cold and I can at least try to help with that.” I looked down at my hands, pausing as he stopped moving. Was he actually thinking about it? I was expecting him to say no, but I guess this was good too. Except for the fact that I’ve never held an entire living person in my hand before! What if I drop him? What if I move wrong? Would it even be comfortable for him?

He looked up at me, debating his decision before groaning loudly, “Okay. But I swear if you drop me I’m not helping you anymore, got it?” He threatened. I nodded my head, crouching down on the forest floor and laying my hand palm-up. I figured this would be better than just grabbing him. Given his earlier reaction.

It felt weird to be carrying someone in your hands. They felt full, but then you realize that there’s an entire person trusting you with their lives. I gulped and kept walking straight, moving a lot faster but made sure almost ever second to make sure that the being in my hands wasn’t bothered. He sat, his arms draped over the barrier I had made with my thumb just in case. I was a little nervous, but there was no way he’d do something without knowing what could happen to him.

“So uhh, what’s your name?” I asked, laughing nervously as I kept my eyes forward, afraid that I would trip over a loose stick or a rock. It usually happens to me. Just my luck.

He stayed quiet for a second before answering, “Atlas, and you?” He turned his head to face me, for a brief moment showing fear. I bit the side of my cheek, hoping it wasn’t noticeable, “Hayven. Th-thank you for helping me, Atlas.”

Atlas looked at me, surprised before he scoffed like he didn’t believe me, “No need to thank me. I’m doing both of us a favor.” He harshly stated, turning his head back down to the large drop below him. At least to him it must be. I stopped moving at the sound of a car, seeing the headlights in the distance. I shook my head and walked towards it, “So what exactly are you?” I asked, not expecting an answer.

“Vampire.” Was all he responded with, but it left me extremely confused. Vampire? Was he messing around, or did he really mean it? I laughed playfully, “You’re messing around with me ri-“ I winced at the sharp pain that came from the side of my hand, seeing a tiny bite mark. I stared at Atlas, who shrugged his shoulders, though I felt him tremble like he thought I would hurt him for it. So, did he just have really sharp teeth or… Vampire? I probably shouldn’t dwell too much on it.

“My turn. Why were you all the way out here?” He never turned around.

“Um. There was supposed to be a party here. But… I guess they lied to me.” I sighed sadly, hearing even more cars now.

“This is close enough. I’ll get off from here.” He announced, pushing himself up and peering down over the edge of my hands. I crouched down, letting him off easily as he looked up at me. I couldn’t read his expression, but I could almost tell that he wanted to ask me something, but never did.

“H-hey uh. I know you probably just want to go home and… do whatever it is you do, but how about I give you a nice place to stay at for the night? It’s the least I offer after helping me so much.”

Atlas stared wide-eyed at me, staring up at me like I had said something that offended him. He looked back down. I noticed the trembling, but I couldn’t tell if that was from fear or the cold. Most likely the first option. He didn’t know me. He probably thinks I would keep him as a pet or something. I was disgusted just thinking about it.

“No tricks?” He asked. I shook my head, “I know you probably have your own thoughts about me, but I genuinely just want to repay the favor.” I didn’t want to force him, but the guilt would eat at me later.

He debated for what seemed like hours before taking a deep breath, “Alright. But I want to be back here before night tomorrow.” He demanded. I laughed, nodding my head and agreeing to his demands. He climbed back onto my hand effortlessly, but I still felt him tremble. Even if he was scared, something about Atlas screamed at me to keep him company. Maybe we could both keep each other company?

——————

They’re just both very lonely, but it’s okay because they’ll keep each other company! :D

Again, I wasn’t entirely sure how this came out, and I do realize that I rushed the ending, but it’s fine TwT (No it’s not) But thank you for the ask because I absolutely love writing these two! I might even turn them into an official little fic. Just some silly little one-shots :D

Hope you liked it!

#G/t #G/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #my writing #I love writing these two so much #Idk why #I might make them into an actually little writing piece tbh #Aghhh we’ll see #But thank you for reading!#Thank you for the ask as well!#And for being patient with me TwT #School has been merciless with us this year #Oc: Hayven #Oc: Atlas #love you guys ❤️

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