#the boy who lived and died and lived again

[mydarlingclaudia]

every word I meant to say

note : ermmmm hi. don't ask where I went for like almost a month work is eating me alive and I was sad. this was inspired by that the unsent project thing andddd idk if I really like this it's def ooc but I was thinking about it again today and this has been in my drafts since September so I figured why not

wc : 2.1k

tags : @luvrgreyy @clitorphosis @sonya-semyonova

desc : letters that went unsent. kind of unrequited love, angst (???), more Leon focused, re2r!Leon - DI!Leon, fem!reader, ooc, not proofread

"I meant to write sooner, I really did. I know it's been a year, my life is so different now, I don't think you'd even believe me if I tried to explain it. I hope you're doing better than I am, I'm happy you weren't able to move to the city with me."

Leon hasn't written a letter since, what, his first few years in the academy? Maybe the end of his senior year of high school? He can't really remember, but he knows that this letter is important because it's to you, his friend he hasn't seen since the night he left for Raccoon City. This isn't even an actual letter, he's scribbling out what he thinks might be good excuses as to why he hasn't talked to you in a year on the back of pieces of scrap paper he took from the office.

He's supposed to be asleep right now, same as everyone else in boot camp, but it's been a year since Raccoon City and he's wondering if you ever tried to reach him. Maybe you tried to go to Raccoon City to look for him, only to see the pile of rubble that stood in its place, sectioned off by the government. Maybe you thought he was dead, he wouldn't blame you.

You and Leon had stuck together all throughout high school, even managed to stay friends when he went off to the police academy and you moved a few hours away for college. He doesn't even know if your address is still the same, he really hopes it is, there's no phone-books in boot camp if he wanted to try and call you, you're supposed to have your loved ones numbers memorized.

The last time Leon saw you was the night before he was supposed to move to the city, before he got a letter in the mail the next morning telling him not to come in, he really wishes he had listened. You were so happy for him, starting out as a city cop was a big deal and he had worked so hard to get there, you and a few friends had thrown him a going-away-party, telling him not to forget you once he got to the city. Leon couldn't forget you if he tried.

You had talked about moving to the city with him for a short period of time, it was really just ramblings the two of you kept bringing up. "Oh, when we live in the city..." "I can come visit you at work..." "I'll handle dinner, you'll handle cleaning..." Nothing ever really came of those ideas, but it gave him a warm feeling in his stomach knowing you wanted to come to the city with him.

He hopes you’ve been well, that life has been kinder to you than it has to him. Leon hopes you got that job you were gushing about the last time he saw you, he hopes you still think of him on his birthday because he thinks of you often.

He shouldn’t have gone to Raccoon City, he should’ve stayed home the day he left and instead stopped by your house to bother you about going to see a movie. Or he should have taken you to lunch, anything would’ve been better than walking into a city that was beyond saving.

"I’m not really sure what I’m saying, but I know I miss you. How have you been? I hope I’m able to come and visit soon, everything’s been moving so fast, but I’ll figure something out. Maybe we can get dinner, or something. Whatever you want, I’ll pay for it, don’t worry."

Leon's hands shake a tiny bit when he thinks of you, it's that school boy nervousness that movies portray whenever there's a boy with a crush on a girl who he knows is probably too out of his league. You were friends, at least.

"You're done with school now, right?" He knows you are. "I wish I was there for the graduation ceremony, I know your parents are proud. Do you remember my graduation party? Someone spiked the punch and we both ended up passed out in the bathtub at your house, you looked really pretty that night. I hope your graduation was better than mine. This would probably have been better as a phone call, but I don't know, you said letters were always more thoughtful.

– Leon"

–

That letter never got sent. Every letter needs an envelope, Leon just never got around to finding one, but he kept that scrap piece of paper tucked inside his pillowcase on the odd chance that he got his hands on one. He had stricter rules to follow than the other recruits, being legally dead and all.

But even after he got out of boot camp, he kept the letter. It's hidden away in some drawer in his house, he's not sure where, though.

He didn't make it into the army, he's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but being in the position he was in now wasn't much better. He's stronger now, hardened, more mature.

Leon's written a few more letters to you over the years, ones that still never got sent because he either deemed them unworthy or because he became unsure of himself halfway through writing it. But he hasn't thrown any of them away, he'll send them one day, he swears it.

Leon's not using you as a way of journaling, either, even though he should find some way to actually write down his thoughts to get them out of his head. What he writes to you is mostly memories, telling you that his life keeps changing and that he misses you. He knows you're different by now, too. You're both grown, no longer in high school, no longer in college or the academy. If he could turn back time, go anywhere other than Raccoon City, he would. He thinks that's selfish of him, him not being there would've left Claire and Sherry in that city, but how would he have even known?

"Me again, hope you're doing better than I am." Leon's way with words gets worse and worse by the week, not that he cares. "I met someone who kind of reminded me of you, she's a sweetheart, like you. You'd probably become fast friends if you were ever able to meet."

Leon's not allowed to tell you about his mission in Spain, or about the president's daughter. President Graham is putting more body-guards in place for his daughter once she steps foot in D.C. again, Leon's sure the president considered appointing Leon as one of them at some point since breaking the news that she was going to be coming back home safely.

Leon should stop thinking about you so much, it's not like you were his only friend in the world, you've probably forgotten him, anyway.

"My life is still different, but yours probably is, too. This probably sounds stupid, but I miss being in high school. You probably don't, your mom was up your ass all the time and you worked yourself to the bone. Has that changed at all?

I remember that one year I went to Thanksgiving at your house, your uncles were all drunk and your cousins kept trying to get me to come sit with them, your grandpa was trying to get me interested in football. I haven't had a holiday like that since then, your family was always really nice to me."

He's not sure what to say anymore, these letters always just end up dragging out, but Leon has a lot of memories and he hopes you think of them as often as he does.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited. It's harder for me to get time off of work these days, even though I could really fucking use it. I promise one day I'll come back, it's just not going to be for a little while. Just don't do anything dumb.

– Leon"

–

Those letters he's been writing you have piled up in the drawer of his nightstand.

He's definitely sure that your address has changed by now, you're probably not even in the same state anymore. He could always try to find you on Facebook, explain everything that's been building up over the years in a simple text, but there's still rules he's supposed to follow even in his personal life.

Leon didn't stop writing, though. The letters did eventually get shorter, he's not sure if you like the same things anymore or if you'd even be interested.

He writes now mostly about how different his life would be if he was with you, if he had just asked you out in high school or kissed you the night he was supposed to leave for Raccoon City. It almost feels real to him when he goes to sleep, but that might just be the alcohol numbing his brain, not the dream of you sleeping next to him or the feeling of your breath on the back of his neck, not even the little pitter-patter off tiny footsteps coming from down the hallway.

It does make him feel a bit pathetic, dreaming of a life with someone he hadn't talked to in years. Leon can't help but think of you, he always thought you were pretty, and the past always lives in the back of his mind, but it comes alive late at night.

You're an entirely different person by now, someone who he hasn't had the opportunity to meet yet. You're probably married, maybe you even have a few kids running around, Leon's jealous of that. That could've been him, but it's not. But he's not even sure if you'd recognize each other if you passed by on the street, so is it even worth it to dwell on all the maybe's?

"I'm not sure I'll get to visit you for a while, not without a lucky fucking twist of fate, anyway."

All these letters are starting to sound the same, but Leon clings onto the thought of someday sending them to whatever corner of the country you were hiding in and hoping that there's still room in your life for a stranger.

"Do you still want me over for dinner? You don't know what I'd give to just eat a shitty meal with you right now."

You don't know what he'd give to do anything with you, really. He knows that there's a lifetime worth of things he's missed out on and that maybe every once in a while you think about him in the same way he thinks about you.

"I don't know how to ask this, but are you married? I know you'd look stunning in a wedding dress." You probably are, you're a catch, who wouldn't want to put a ring on your finger? Your husband's probably a better man than he is, too. One who hasn't had years worth of trauma jammed into his brain with the proof of it marked across his body, your husband probably takes you out on a date every week, maybe even surprises you with breakfast in bed and kisses the nape of your neck to gross out your kids. "I really hope you're happy, in my head you are.

I wanted that to be us, I never told you, but I was a chicken-shit kid and didn't know how to say it. You show up in my dreams sometimes, you deserve nothing but the best. I meant to get back in touch with you forever ago, but I think it's probably too late.

– Leon"

–

Two years after his last letter and Leon's still thinking of you, seventeen years after Raccoon City and the image of you sitting across from him for the last time still loops in his mind. He doesn't really remember your voice but he knows that you thought handwritten letters were romantic, and he still reads over the ones he meant to send to you but kept avoiding.

He's done with the letters, hasn't written one in a long time. But he just got back from California and your old favorite song is playing on the radio, and he's remembering how in love he is with your memory.

"I don't know what I'm doing. I'm too old for this and I'm sure you'd tease me if we had somehow kept in touch. I don't blame you if you thought I died in Raccoon City, I hope you're still alive and that life is good to you.

You were always important to me, I think you've given me something to cling to over the years. This letter won't find you and I'm not even really sure if I want it to, but I hope you'd still call me if you were able to. You wouldn't believe the things I've seen, but I'm happy you never got to see them.

Love, Leon

p.s. I'd say I love you but it feels like something you'd say in person"

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve froze after he jumped back into the Munsons' living room, Nancy and Robin following after him. He didn't care that the gate stitched itself closed. Eddie was lying on the couch, covered in blood, and his eyes were closed. Steve collapsed next to him. Oh my god. Eddie was dead. Dustin came from the back of the trailer just as Steve took Eddie's hand.

"Eddie, Goddamnit, I told you not to be a hero, and what did you do? You went and sacrificed yourself, and for what? What the hell did you do?!" Steve asked, sniffling.

"Steve, wait - " Dustin started to explain.

"You know, I was looking forward to getting to know you. I can't stop thinking about what you said. About me being a good dude and I can't believe that you were jealous, too. I mean, Dustin looked up to you, too. I know how much this is going to kill him - " Steve continued, not hearing Dustin.

"Steve, really, this isn't necessary - " Dustin tried again.

"I liked seeing you with Dustin. I liked that you're so good with kids, man. I wanted to hang out with you know, and I even think maybe take you out on a date. I think I was making a move on you, I didn't even know it. Of course, I know who Ozzy Osborne is! Who the hell doesn't know about him and the bat? I think I was trying to make you crazy like you make me crazy, the way you did when you threw me up against the wall of the boat house. I felt something, this electricity. . ."

"Steve, seriously!" Dustin shrieked.

"You're so unbelievably hot, and now I can't believe that you're gone, I just don't even know how I feel about you," Steve cried. "And you're just gone."

"Jesus H CHRIST!" Eddie exclaimed, his eyes snapping open.

Steve screamed and fell backward.

"Anyway, like I was trying to tell you, Eddie's not dead. He's fine, Steve," Dustin said.

"The blood. . ." Steve said.

"Yeah, the bats tore each other up as they died. It's their blood. Although, I think they got me a little bit," Eddie said.

"So. . .any chance that you didn't hear any of that?" He asked.

"Nope! Heard every word," Eddie said. "Don't worry, big boy, you drive me crazy, too."

He pulled Steve up and crashed their lips together. They laughed against each other when they heard Dustin squeal.

"Cool!"

Steve pulled away, leaning his forehead against Eddie's.

"Glad you're not dead."

"Glad I'm not dead either."

[maxdibert]

I know this might be more aggressive than I usually do, but I'm honestly tired. I can't help but believe that the marauders fandom lives in a completely different reality than mine.

They love to force how good James Potter was, but this same James exposed Severus' intimacy. “He had no intention”, if a person takes the life of another without intention, does that change that a person died? It doesn't change. But they love to say that because there is no intention, there is no guilt, when that's not how it works. Besides all the repetition of how Severus was an incel and James was the one who sincerely loved Lily. The epitome of agape, they say, when in reality, he was just a spoiled little rich boy who can't hear "no" from a girl and get on with his life and instead he... *checks notes* threatened and blackmailed their supposed “love” in addition to chasing his best friend with his gang of idiots and, at the same time, leading the other to hell, even though said boy heard the girl’s “no” and disappeared from her life as she asked.

They act as if Severus being a spy was no big deal and it was his obligation to do something to defeat Voldemort, when it wasn't, he had already done enough by going out of their way to give a warning about the Potters' safety. Aside from the stilted speech that "he did it for the girl", when, amazingly, said girl, at this point, is already dead, he would have gained nothing by doing what he did for the wizarding world. It seems like a competition about who objectifies Lily the most in Severus' life, when Severus: never said anything negative about her, never assumed anything about her sex life or even said that she deserved to die for not choosing him, on the contrary , he blamed himself and wished for his own death. "But, look, he bullied the son of the woman he said he loved, that's definitely obsession," his character flaws in relation to Harry were never about Lily but about old memories of his bully. His problem was always unique and exclusive to James Potter. Every time he insults Harry it's always "you're like your father", but never once did he say anything even remotely negative about Lily or blame her for cutting off her friendship with him. But still, the fandom loves to spew nonsense about how he "wanted to get into the girl's pants and got angry when he couldn't."

I vented, sorry.

That’s why I genuinely think most Snaters are just kids—they see everything in black and white and don’t understand that life doesn’t work that way. Severus didn’t owe anyone anything. The fact that he felt bad about Lily wasn’t an obligation; he could have not cared and it still would’ve been fine. Lily cut ties with him. Lily married his bully. It would’ve been completely justified for him to see her as a piece of trash after she ended up with James. Honestly, I would’ve seen her as trash. If a former friend of mine pulled something like that—ending up with someone who had physically and psychologically tormented me for years, knowing full well what I went through—they’d be lucky if I didn’t burn their house down for being such a piece of work.

But Severus's relationship with Lily carried an enormous emotional weight because she had been his attachment figure for many years. So it makes sense that he ended up feeling so guilty, especially since he was the one who told Voldemort the prophecy. But again, even the prophecy wasn’t something he shared with malicious intent. Severus was doing his job as an agent in a war (even if he was on the "wrong" side), and it just so happened that his work unintentionally affected someone he cared about. Of course, he felt guilty afterward—it’s completely understandable. Anyone in his position, with his life experiences, would.

If I were in his place, though? I would’ve ignored Lily completely. Let her and her bully of a husband die, honestly, LOL.

One thing I find fascinating about Severus is how much things actually matter to him. He cares about repaying his debt to society. He cares about redeeming himself for what happened to Lily. He cares about doing the right thing to atone for his mistakes. And he doesn’t have to care, because all the people he sacrifices himself for are people who treated him like garbage at some point.

He didn’t have to be loyal to Dumbledore, especially after Dumbledore forced him to stay silent when he was almost killed as a teenager, made him keep that secret, and left him out in the cold. He didn’t have to be loyal to Lily either. No matter how their friendship ended, I think it’s indefensible (and I’m sure others would agree) for her to get involved with a spoiled rich kid whose whole reputation was built on tormenting others. He didn’t have to risk his life for the Order when most of its members openly despised him his entire life.

He didn’t have to do any of it. And honestly? It would’ve been justifiable for him not to, given his context and his past. But he did. He did all of it because he wanted to be a better person.

Sure, his personality doesn’t always reflect that, but let’s be real—that’s the personality of someone who never stops suffering. His reactions aren’t strange—they’re the normal reactions of someone with unresolved trauma who’s reached adulthood without the chance to fully develop emotional or social maturity because of that same trauma.

And of course, he didn’t need to beg for James’s life. If I were Severus, I wouldn’t have asked Voldemort to spare James. I’d have asked him to inflict the worst possible torture on James before finishing him off. But then again, I’m Spanish, and we Mediterraneans have hot tempers and always choose violence, LOL.

But seriously, I’m so fed up with the endless whining about why Severus did this or that. It doesn’t matter why. The fact is, he did it. The important thing is that his actions contributed to a cause, and thanks to him, the world was saved. Everything else is irrelevant because, let’s be honest, many of us would’ve walked away from saving a society that judged, mistreated, and condemned us without a second thought.

[lanaroff]

Unwanted- Part 5

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Y/N is an enhanced SHIELD agent who is forced to work with the Avengers. What happens when they discover that she’s not alone?

A/N: I actually don't know where this series is going. But I have so many ideas. Feels good to be back!

"So how does it work?" Peter asked while he was playing with his fingers looking around.

"How does what works?" You confusingly asked without taking your eyes off the road.

"The thing with the alien, you know V..."He stared saying. However, he was cut by the sound of the breaks stopping abruptly the car.

"Don't" You said sighting. "Don't say it's name when I'm driving. We trained it to come out at the mention of its name. You don't want to see it crashing the car, do you?"

The young boys eyes were full of both wonder and fear. You didn't own him an explanation about why the name should not be mentioned under certain circumstances, but you knew what kind of kid he was, and how talkative he could be.

"Sorry, Miss Y/L/N. I didn't know." He said it with an apologetic look on his face.

The ride back to your apartment was normal. You were aware that he was late for school, and probably would end up in detention for it. But you both agreed to go to your apartment first if he could go on the passenger seat right next to yours.

After a long, long, long trip, where Peter talked about his suit, his friends, his projects, how cool Stark was, and how cool working with the Avengers was, you finally made it out to your apartment. Sure, the trip wasn't thaaat long, but to you it felt like ages.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." You said as you walked inside your apartment.

You enter your office looking for your safe box. You knew that maybe leaving important files was not the best thing, so you were more than in a hurry to find them. Once you stood in front of the box, you entered the password and opened it. As you took your files, you heard steps coming from your living room. Immediately you turn to Venom and prepare yourself in case you needed to kill someone.

However, the moment you stood foot in the other room, a loud sound stunned you, and suddenly the feared creature was no longer in control. Turning yourself back, you dropped to your knees and cried the pain in your head. You were fighting to keep yourself conscious; you couldn't give up. As you were about to stand on your feet, someone pushed you back to the floor.

"You know, we were expecting it to be more difficult. I guess you are just weak." A man that stood in front of you stared saying. "You are a hard fish to catch, let me give you that."

"Go. Fuck. Yourself." You said between groans. Your head was killing you, but your mind was too busy thinking about how to get out of there.

"Oh yeah, I will. After I get paid for delivering you to the boss." He said between laughs.

How did these people knew about Venom's weakness? Only you and some man at SHIELD knew about it, as it was supposed to be confidential information. Only you, Fury, Natasha, Hill, and...

"Rumblow." You said, looking straight into the man's eyes.

As you waited for the main man to give you any kind of confirmation that in deed it was Rumlow behind it, another man came into the room.

"Sir, we found a kid trying to enter the apartment. What do we do with him?" He said as a brunette man followed him with a sacred Peter Parker.

Peter's head was being held by the man's arm, and a gun was being pressed on his skull. You immediately tried to stand on your two feet; however, your body betrayed you, making you fall once again.

"Kill him." He said, as he saw your reaction upon seeing Peter being held. You could let the kid die; otherwise, you were dead. They will never forget you if Peter dies. How would Wanda look at you after realizing that it was your fault?

"NO!" You screamed as you finally pulled your body out of the ground to tackle the man standing in front of you. "PETER RUN NOW!"

And he did as you said. Peter quickly used his strength to pull himself out of the man's arms to run towards you. Immediately you stood up and grabbed Peter so he was behind you.

"Listen to me carefully, Peter. I'm going to need you to run as fast as you can. Did you hear me?" You said it without taking your eyes off the intruders.

"But Miss..."

"No. They can't know what you are capable of doing. Now do what I say and leave. Don't look back; don't come to get me; just run and find Stark." You finished whispering so only he could listen to what you were saying.

The truth was that you knew that Peter could take them down. But if these people wanted to take you to where Rumblow was, then you were more than eager to let yourself be taken.

With a nod that confirmed you that he understood his assignment, Peter ran as fast as he could towards the living room window. Guns were fired at him while you stopped one of Rumblow's men to follow him. As soon as he reached the window, he jumped, and you were once again on the living floor in pain. But relived knowing that he was no longer there.

"You bitch! You are going to regret that" Was the last thing that you heard as you were hit with the back of a gun, leaving you unconscious.

You woke up really hot. And not in the nice way. Your body felt as if you were on fire, as in you were being burned from the inside to the outside. The moment you opened your eyes, you saw yourself chained to a stretcher, and the heat came from right underneath it.

"Rise and shine." You heard a voice saying. Immediately you clench your jaw as you recognize who's voice was.

"You know, you should've told me that you had a sunbed. I would've wore my bikini." You said spitting his face.

"Keep that attitude, and you know how it will end." Romblow said wapping his face.

"I'm counting on it, dumbass." You said with a big smile on your face.

The truth was, you loved it. Not the burning pain that you were feeling. But being so close to Rublow. Knowing that he actually was scared. Because boy, you had all the time in the world, but he? He knew the clock was ticking and that he had a few hours before S.H.I.E.L.D. would know your location.

"I could kill you right here right now." The man in front of you said grabing you by the hair.

"I know, but she won't allow you, will she? You are scared of her, I can see it." You replied.

"You are right. But that's the thing. I'm not going to kill you. Nah!" He said as he walked next to a table full of surgical instruments. "I'm going to destroy every hope you have of taking down Hydra." He grabbed a scalpel with one hand and, with the other, grabbed the back of your head. "I'm going to kill your new friends, so you have no one." He said while pressing the blade down your head hard enough to make you bleed but not enough to cut you too deep. "And after that, I'm going to free it, and then they will see you as their threat. And when you realize that you are alone and hopeless, then I will take you to HER. She can't wait to see you and continue with the work she started. You will be all hers!"

"Fuck you!" Was all you dared to say. You couldn't go back to her. You had come so far to be back at that place. Sure, you hated S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avangers, but deep down you knew that they were the only path to revenge. You needed them; you needed Venom. And he knew it.

"Bring Dr. Ackermann. Now!" Romblow said to one of his soldiers.

Back at the compound, the things were not better. Peter had come burst through the door screaming for help, alarming the whole team.

"Hey kid, slow down, what happened?" Tony asked him.

"It's... um... It's miss Y/L/N... We were at her place, and some guys came over, and they... um, they took her. She is gone." He said

The team shared the same worrying expression. You were supposed to take Peter to school; how could something like that happen? But most important, who would do something like that?

"What do you mean she is gone Peter?" Natasha asked.

"They had this device that was emitting some sound that hurt her. And she couldn't move. She asked me to come to you guys. We need to help her." Peter said. Upon hearing what Peter said, Natasha sent him with Bruce to the medbay to see if he had any injuries.

"You know something, don't you?" Wanda asked the spy. She knew something bad had happened. Maybe something related to your hatred thowars Hydra? She didn't know. All she knew was that she had to help you, just like you did with her.

"Y/N has a bomb in her head." Natasha said. The team were left speechless. Wanda couldn't comprehend why. Why would you have that on you? You were not a bad person; she was sure of that. You just needed someone to take care of you. Why would someone put that device on your head?

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"When S.H.I.E.L.D. got their hands on Y/N, she was unstable. She couldn't control Venom, in fact, it controlled her. So Fury decided that the best thing to do was to build a device that could control Venom, since she couldn't do it. It turns out that loud sounds and fire are one of it's weaknesses. They built a device that emits piercing sounds straight to her brain." Natasha explained.

Inmediatly, Wanda understood the events of the first night that she encountered the alien. That ringing noise that she heard, the way you twisted in pain, how Venom froze. You were just trying to protect her, and in doing so, you were hurting yourself.

"Okay, and what does this have to do with the bomb?" Bucky asked.

"One time while we were training, she lost control of her body to Venom. It was a disaster; four agents died that day. Venom just tear them apart. So she asked Fury to put a bomb in her head, so if she ever loses control again, she will eliminate Venom before it harms anyone."

"And by that, you mean that'she will eliminate herself'?". Sam asked. As soon as those words left Sam's mouth, Wanda had to leave the room. She just felt like it was too much for her. She felt nauseous.

She had to get out of there.

Wanda run to your room. It was the first time since the incident that she actually got to see it. It was almost empty. There was nothing that really reminded her of you. And that showed her how little she knew you. When she first came to the Avengers Towel, she felt lost. She had just lost Pietro, and she was all alone. Like you. You both had lost so much. She was determined to help you. She wanted to help you. Who knows, maybe one day you two could grow up and be friends, she thought. All she knew was that she couldn't leave you like that.

She came back to where she had left her teamates with another set of thoughts. "What's the plan?" Wanda said.

"I just talked to Fury; he has her location. She has a tracker, just in case something like this happens" Natasha said.

"Alright team, suit up." Said Steve.

[viaviavie]

Ok I just made it better again but I have another angst idea for Deuce. (I‘m so sorry my boy. I promise I don’t know why my mind keeps tormenting you like that.)

So what if the reason the Prefect and Ace keep their knowledge of the time loops a secret is because every time they tell Deuce, or he finds out some other way, he dies?

It’s not immediate but it happens without a fail. Once the Grim‘s out of the bag Deuce never lives past the Overbolt.

Knowledge is a powerful thing after all. Especially to those reckless enough to use it without thinking of themselves.

Anyway I‘m going to bed now byeee

i really gotta write a happy deuce fic as an apology for giving him such a short stick for these time loop ideas. have a good night/morning! in reference to this fic

I like to imagine that Deuce's fatal flaw is that he would never hesitate to protect his friends. The moment he finds out about these time loops, it becomes his number one objective to keep either the Prefect or Ace from dying. It really depends on who admits the truth to him.

If Ace tells him that he keeps getting dreams of the Prefect dying, Deuce will put himself in danger to change the Prefect's fate. But, when Deuce does die as a result, the Prefect is going to do everything to force a reset. Deuce may think that his two best friends are neglecting him, but goddamn, the Prefect has probably forced so many resets because Deuce got in the way to protect them and paid the price for it.

If Prefect chooses to confide in Deuce, it is also the same. What may differ depends on what the Prefect chooses to reveal. When the Prefect once admitted that Ace has died too many times in recent loops, Deuce is going to sacrifice himself for his best friend instead. It's a vicious cycle, and neither Ace or the Prefect are willing to achieve an ending without Deuce.

Unfortunately, for a long time, the Prefect deduces (haha deDeuces, get it? sorry) that if anyone were to know about the time loops, the bad ending is locked in. And so, the truth remains under lock and key.

[sodapopper]

I enjoy a good Vietnam!Soda fic as much as the next angst-loving soul, and I will gobble up as many PTSD fics as you can throw at me. But with that in mind, I think they’re all wrong. 😂

I think Soda went to Vietnam fearless, bright and shining as the day he was born. None of this terror, or angst, shaking hands and teary eyes—I don’t think it ever really occurred to him that he might die. Soda, who never quite understood the seriousness of the world. Soda, who’d lost more loved ones in 16 years than some people do in a lifetime, but never lost his laughter. I think he read the draft notice and saw it as just another adventure—just another rumble, a thrill and a dance, a fight to one-up all his other buddies’ fights.

The day he left, he hugged his brothers tight. Slapped Darry on the shoulder, ruffled Pony’s hair, yelled “see ya soon!” before racing off across the airport tarmac. Duffel bag flung over his shoulder. Hair wild in the wind. Bright, beautiful, immortal.

He never fought in a single battle.

He died the day he landed, in the vehicle driving him to base, caught in a landmine the metal detectors should have found. He died with a joke on his lips. He died in seconds. That greaser boy from the East Side, who flunked in everything but mechanics and gym—doomed by the narrative, he never stood a chance.

But it’s alright. Because the real tragedy would have been if he lived.

Soda wasn’t meant to grow old, the way roses aren’t meant to live past summer. And he wasn’t meant to come home from a war that would have twisted him into something unrecognizable. Broken, a shell of his former glory, ruined beyond repair. A version of Soda that would never, ever be Soda again.

Death came before the war destroyed him. He never trembled in the trenches or slogged through jungle mud, never watched a buddy bleed out or saw his own bullet tear the soul from a body. He died before he knew what fear truly meant. He died young, still laughing, thinking about his brothers, believing in goodness, believing he would live forever.

Sodapop Curtis died golden.

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish actor Gary Lewis, born 30th November 1957.

Born and raised in Easterhouse, Glasgow Lewis seems an unlikely actor, he has had jobs as a roadsweeper and librarian, his brother, a teacher encouraged him to do more and he became in his own words a “voracious” reader, this pushed him into wanting to become an actor at the age of 32.

It was a chance meeting with fellow Scot, Peter Mullan that gave him his break, he joined the regular “in house” actors in Ken Loach films, starring with Mullan in My Name is Joe and Robert Carlyle in Carla’s song he was in good company to learn.He had a cracking role in Peter Mullan’s film Orphans, with one of my favourite lines, “She’s not heavy, she’s my mother”

Lewis won the best actor award for the part at the Gijón International Film Festival in 1998.I think most of you will remember Gary Lewis playing coal miner Jackie Elliot, father to the films title role Billy Elliot. I sometimes feel like I m repeating myself when noting the CV’s of these actors, Taggart, Rab C Nesbitt, Rebus were early shows for Lewis, while Stonemouth and In Plain Sight are more recent.

Then there is of course Outlander. Gary Lewis appeared in the first two seasons of the hit show, based on the novels by Diana Gabaldon playing, Colum MacKenzie, laird of the MacKenzie family and Uncle to Jamie Fraser. Colum died in the season finale 2 finale Hail Mary. Of Outlander he says,

“The fan base is extremely passionate. It is strange because I live in Scotland and Outlander isn’t massive here to the extent it is in Australia, America and Canada. There are fans all over the world.”

The past few years have been busy for Gary, he managed to snap up an appearance in the final series of Still Game, as well the movie, The Vanishing, teaming up again with Peter Mullan and last weeks birthday boy Gerard Butler. He has also been in His Dark Materials, Rig 45, It’s a Sin, Vigil and series 3 of The Bay.

IMDB has Gary, along with Billy Boyd and Sharleen Spiteri to star in a film, set in Glasgow called I Feel Fine, however I think the project has stalled as it has been at the “announced” stage for several years now. Gary is also to play Roald Amundsen in the film North Pole: 90° North.

Gary wa also in the Scottish feature film, Stella, about a German Jewish refugee who finds herself working in a stately Home in Dumfries and Galloway belonging to aristocratic supporters of fascist leader Oswald Mosely. I havent seen the film as yet, but will try and remdy that as it has a good rating on Imdb.

Gary reprised the role Colin Robertson last year in the second series of Vigil, he was seen earlier this year in Frankin, Michael Douglas in the lead role as American founding father Benjamin Franklin.

Earlier this month Gary was sighted alongside Emma Thompson and Ruth Wilson, shooting aboard a boat in Newquay. It's speculated that the trio were filming for an upcoming British TV series on Apple+, named Down Cemetery Road., although I can't find him on the list of actors.

[toastandersmith]

journaling supernatural related bullshit? hold on *grabs my own notebook*

here we go: join me in my attempts to make a note of every gay (homophobic) joke in supernatural, figuring out whatever the plot of season 7 was (I was told it was the "turducken arc" and thought I could guess what that meant [incorrect]), and whether Crowley and Cas were actually just straight up fucking towards the end of season 6 because oh boy did they milk that running joke to death

Jensen Ackles confuses me

"subject" a friend and fellow test subject I was watching with (the study being the psychological effectsof watching supernatural of course)

"mom" is my mom

ALT TEXT

[page 1]

so the episode where Dean is autistic about cowboys:

I honestly felt sad about him being the button of the joke

"would send him a scotch but he's dead" -subject

"I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who died in the bathtub in 1953" -Cas

[page 2]

9/22/24

06.19

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass... Cas get out of my ass!"

"I was never in y--"

keep depowering Cas so he doesn't ruin monster of the week eps

Cas is cheating on Dean

"Crowley and Bobby are married" -subject

Okay. what the fuck was going on between Cas and Crowley in the season 6 finale? It's really not a joke anymore. How many times can you make a joke before it's not a joke anymore?

[page 3]

Crowley makes a deal with Cas. For consistency's sake we must assumed they kissed at least, but we also know that some deals can only be sealed with sex--is the kiss a formality?

Balthazar calls it a marriage

they get really close

after Crowley pokes eve's brain "Chocula here felt every tickle [...] apart from the obvious erotica value, you got me."

DEAN (to SAM) this makes you Lois lane

"a whore is a whore is a whore" -Crowley

"Have you forgotten you're the bottom in this relationship" -Crowley

[page 4]

9/25/24

Season 7 is so fucked

Godstiel is indifferent to sexual orientation "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" that's--progress

So I did not guess it was borax. but I swear I've heard it somewhere. do not know--but borax killing monsters is too familiar. far too familiar.

So... the turducken arc. That was the most severe mood whiplash I've been through no doubt. I screamed. It's here, I thought. The turducken arc. It's worse. Worse than I expected. how.

when I heard the words "turducken arc," I first imagined a couple things.

[page 5]

haunted turducken. simple, literal.

an arc inside an arc inside an arc. metaphorical, perhaps working from the inside out.

a guy inside another guy etc. maybe a demon. demon turducken.

gets it's name from someone on the show comparing them to a turducken.

some weird hell torture. in between figurative & literal

ultimately I thought it was a metaphor or at least a comparison. Dean being stoned from turducken was just so heartwarming. This episode is perfect.

[page 6]

actually: the biblical monster that can only be killed by borax possesses a megacorporation CEO who makes turducken sandwiches filled with oobleck to mind control the population.

"or are you strictly into dick now" -Sam

"they did it again" (be gay) -mom

that castiel autism goes crazy…

[yellow-faerie]

The Story of Bakkru and Misu

or, The Boy Who Lived, and Died, and Lived Again

In the slave quarters beneath one of Nal Hutta's largest auction houses, a grandmother is coming to the end of her life; her family - those that can be there - come to her side. There, they hear the story of Bakkru and Misu, an Ekkreth tale about dancing and fire, and freedom and death, and the bond between a grandmother and the child she helped raise.

I tell you this story to save your life.

If you're interested in any commentary on the choices I make in this story with the Amavikka or Amatakka, as well as some general thoughts on the Amavikka of Nal Hutta, check under the readmore :)

First of all, thank you for coming down here to check out my inane ramblings about the Amavikka people in the wider galaxy (in this case, Nal Hutta) for more words than in the actual fic - I will almost definitely end up writing stuff for other planets/groups, just you wait.

Second of all, huge thanks to @adragonsfriend and @looseleafteeaves who've both made dictionaries and guides that I used extensively through writing this, I would probably have given up if they hadn't been available so…thanks for sharing those to the general public, and for creating them in the first place!

The whole language and culture was originally created by @/fialleril but if you have any interest in Amatakka and the Amavikka beyond that, their dictionaries and guides are a really good place to go to (and that is where I get most of the words that I use from).

And last of all, here's the fic commentary!

Names

There are several new names and characters in this - I'll start with the characters I made for the framing part, and then I'll do the names for the actual tale.

A general note on Amavikka names: first names tend (not always) to be just a word from Amatakka, although there is some variance - this isn't always the case, but I've decided it tends to be even more common within the Nal Hutta community and so all of the characters have first names in this pattern.

Similarly, last names tend to be two words put together. Again, there are exceptions (especially if the Amavikka in question was not born into the community and has a name they wish to hold onto from before they were enslaved) but I've opted against using any in this fic for reasons known as, I think it's way too fun to make up names in this style haha

OK, so onto the actual names:

Qelin Omerukka

the name Qelin is literally the verb 'to talk, to tell a story', and it's perhaps a little on the nose but then again, so are several names throughout the Star Wars lore

Omerukka means 'Lightspinner' and is the name her mother and father made for themselves when they were married

(I have a small headcanon that one thing that a couple can do when they get married is to mix their names together, so there is always something that connects them - this is most common on worlds where slaves get sold off planet a lot, like on Nal Hutta, and less common on world like Tatooine where the slave trade tends to be far more local. As always, there are exceptions to the rules)

Sudu, Orrin, Lutlu and Rethka, the children of Qelin

Sudu is a word that means 'whirling, spinning, swirling' - Nal Hutta Amavikka are likely to see this name and think of the swirling eddies that you sometimes get in water due to the unstable catacombs beneath much of the planets surface, that can be incredibly dangerous is you are in the water and too close to them

Orrin is a word that means 'bird of prey' - this is a loan word from Ryl but is often used on Nal Hutta to mean a very specific, slightly carnivorous and rather large bird of prey that targets Hutts

Lutlu is a word that means 'surprise' or literally 'chaos now!' - there is no particular connotations for this word on Nal Hutta

Rethka is a word that means 'strider, walker' - again, this is a name that would likely be quite common throughout Amavikka communities, as the idea of walking a long distance into the wilds to free yourself are very common (be it the desert or the swamp or the frozen tundra or up out of the mine tunnels), but not so common on water worlds

Shursu La-Nalikeh

Shursu, like the other names, is a word that means 'root, foundation, base', and on Nal Hutta, would probably make Amavikka think of the strong foundations of the huge swamp trees that survive

Lah-Nalikeh is a surname that means 'Wet-Life' - it's a very traditional Nal Hutta name, which has connotations of escaping and living a 'wet life' away from the homesteads within the wet swamps

Leshna Rapshmi

Leshna is a word that means 'lightning' and is an idea that is somewhat connected to the Lukka that Amavikka raised on Nal Hutta would know - where on Tatooine, Lukka is the seven winds come together, on Nal Hutta he is the storm (the thunder, the rain and the lightning) and the flood come together

Rapshmi is a surname that means 'Wiseword' which is not a surname that's particularly linked to any dialect of Amavikka

I imagine that Leshna's family was probably slaves of some sort of spacer faction and so never had a firm community to fall back on, but only what they learned from the few people they came in contact with (and I have...an idea for a tale about this, which I might just use Leshna and the Rapshmi's to tell)

She and Orrin have only been married a short while, and have yet to decide whether to merge their names or not; if they did, it would likely be Omeshmi, or 'Light of Wisdom'

Peha Rillochelii

Peha is a word that means 'to rise, to get up' which I think has connotation of freedom in it

Rillochelii on the other hand is a desert name from Tatooine, which means something like 'Dunerunner' which definitely has connotations of freedom as chelii literally means 'runaway, or escapee'

Peha was unlucky to be sold off planet and away from her family as quite a young age, but she had been old enough to remember her name which is deeply important to the Amavikka, so while she is being fostered by the grandmothers of this new quarter, she keeps that name

And that is all the names in the framing section! I know most of them barely speak, but I did want to use them to highlight some of the differences between various Amavikka dialects.

So, onto the actual myth names:

Bakkru:

Bakkru is a type of dance that fialleril commented as being a dance that was often used to convey hidden messages; on Nal Hutta, it is told to be the name of the boy who created it, but in most other Amavikka cultures this tale has been lost, or is simply not told that much

This might be because Nal Hutta is one of the worlds where slave dancers are very, very prominent and in large enough numbers that having a dance to convey secrets makes sense due to the fact that Nal Hutta is considered the luxurious homeworld of the HUtts (another world I can think of might be Zygerria, if any Amavikka ever ended up there)

Bakkru is also known as just Ru, and that is how he is referred to in any myth that he appears in (usually as a silent agent of Ekkreth, and usually to help dancers to escape their masters) beyond his origin myth

On a small tangent about the name Ru - I quite like the idea that any dancer who has learned how to dance the Bakkru and uses it, may add the prefix Ru- to their name to signal this to other people in introductions

(For example, if Peha ever were to become a dancer and she also learned Bakkru, she might introduce herself as Ru-Peha; it is less an honorific, and more a way to tell someone that they should be watching her dance very closely)

Misu

Misu literally means 'the act of sharing of memories after a loved one's death' and she is named for how she speaks often of Bakkru's memory after his death so that she might teach the rest of the people the dance that had saved their lives

Misu as a character within Amavikka mythology definitely turns up in some form in most dialects as her name is synonymous with one very important aspect of Amavikka mourning (sharing memories, one of the only things that they will have of their lost love one)

On Nal Hutta, she is used in Bakkru's story and is rather minor to the story, but on Corellia, she is the one who holds all the records of the debtors and so knows all who are enslaved that way, and speaks of their memory to anyone who comes to her, and is a major part of a lot of tales

Also her name being similar to Mittu, as in the Ebra and Mittu story on Tatooine is not a complete accident; there are a lot of parallels in the relationship between grandmother of the community and a young child, and on Nal Hutta, the story of where Tzai comes from is very different (as they do not have the Tzai plant - I still have to work out how Tzai works on Amavikka planets that aren't Tatooine, and specifically how the lore around them works)

Jula

Jula, as sort of implied/explained in the fic, means 'flame, ember' and is an epithet for Ekkreth which is particularly popular on Nal Hutta

It's not common for Ekkreth to be portrayed as anything but a living thing, but on Nal Hutta, fire is considered to be somewhat sentient and thus, Ekkreth can take it's shape

Fire in general is closely linked with the idea of freedom on Nal Hutta - just as daylight/the sun is freedom for the Amavikka confined to mines, and rain is freedom for the Amavikka of the desert, so is fire linked to freedom on Nal Hutta

Fire is quite uncommon on the planet and where it does burn, it is often put out quickly by rain or just not enough dry kindling for it to burn as everything is wet but the expensive sort of houses that Depur own that are dry - another reason why fire is considered freeing is that it will tear through those houses greedily while leaving the much damper, wetter slave quarters alone

I will say that the Ekkreth parts of this fic feel like the weakest section - I feel like Ekkreth should be more tricky than they are in this, and I'm not entirely happy with them turning into fire itself - perhaps a creature who could sit in the flames for the first conversation with Bakkru, where Bakkru thinks that he is speaking with the flames themselves, and then perhaps a creature who breathed fire for the later meeting, but I wasn't sure what creatures would fit

(All of these names come from

Some General Nal Hutta-Amavikka Worldbuilding

So there are a few things that I mention throughout the fic that I feel are worth talking about

Evokka

So Evokka - the Amavikka name for the planet - comes from the original name for Nal Hutta (in Legends), that being Evocar, which was the home of the native Evocii who got enslaved by the Hutts when they decided that Evocar would be a good new homeworld for them

I thought it would be neat if Nal Hutta was thus referred to as Evokka, a name that is a slight shift in pronunciation from the original to fit Amatakka better but which still holds the spirit of the original name in tact

Abbu-Dabbu (and Ru)

Abbu-Dabbu and Ru are both characters of myth that are mentioned in the third installation of Blue_Sunshine's Desert Sun Series, Fallout and I don't believe they are mentioned again

I used both as part inspiration for this fic, using Ru as the main character (although changing his name slightly) but using his name of the Boy Who Lived, and Died, and Lived Again as the title for this fic

Ru is probably more akin to a prophet (like Maru and Tena) than to the more godlike figures of Ar-Amu and Ekkreth, and Lukka and Leia, (and Vokkri, who I will come to later) but I did list Abbu-Dabbu with the divine figures, so I'm thinking that she probably is divine

Abbu-Dabbu is also mentioned in this fic - I'm not quite sure what to do with her within a tale centred on her yet, but I am comfortable using her as a character who is prone to turning up in stories if there is need of the character being Safe For A While

I don't think that she actually needed to be in this fic beyond her first, brief mention but she ended up there anyway, so

Anyway, she is apparently quite linked to salt which I find interesting; in my mind, this has something to do with the swamps of Nal Hutta mostly being salt water and when it is dried (such as with fire) it creates salt

So this makes me think that as a witch, Abbu-Dabbu has some level of control over fire which allows her to dry the surrounding area enough that she can create a house of salt that doesn't get dissolved in the water

(This idea of salt being left behind is slightly mentioned in the fic when Bakkru is crying and Ekkreth-as-Jula dries his tears until all that is left is salt on his skin)

A Translation of Abbu-Dabbu's name, and the Nal Hutta dialect

With this in mind, I am going to attempt to come up with a translation of her name:

So, the important things in her story are salt, fire, being a witch/magic, home, being a beacon for the lost

But if her name is made of two of these ideas smooshed together, they would probably be related due to how similar Abbu and Dabbu are, and so I would be tempted to say Salt and Fire

With the current breadth of the Amatakka language, we have some words for these ideas already

Salt: tabtu (for preserving meat and fish), tavetabtu (red salt), amnabtu (black salt)

Fire: jula (flame, ember), itza (cooking fire, hearth), and anu (which means rain on Tatooine, and daylight in the mines, and fire on Nal Hutta)

So, here is where some dialect things come into play - I am honestly quite scared to consider dialects as I am not at all a professional conlanger but someone who is just fascinated with cultures and languages and all the moving parts of them, but here goes

So I propose that Tabtu -> Dabbu

The first T changes to a D, probably through a general phonological drift in the dialect, and the second is dropped altogether - I might play around with the idea of T's getting dropped or changed in the Nal Hutta dialect, although I'm not sure yet why this might be the case

Either way, this makes the part of the name Dabbu mean salt which then means we have to think about the Abbu part

Words for Heat on Tatooine and Nal Hutta

Now, both words for fire or flame don't fit at all, so I shifted my thoughts more towards heat

Using what we have, I would probably use jula if I was going to have a heat that was aggressive or angry, and so words for heat on Tatooine probably derive from this or maybe the word for white which is linked to the hotter of the two suns

So I'm thinking something like Terajula which means flame of the desert, and might mean heat - this would probably be tempered with a time of day to let the other person know how intense the heat was, as evening heat is different to midday heat, etc.

Itza has more of an implication of being a homely sort of fire, and I don't think that on Tatooine there would be much use for a word to describe the physical warmth of a home (perhaps the metaphorical kind though)

Meanwhile, on Nal Hutta, you have several types of heat - dry heat, wet heat, flame heat and artificial heat

Wet heat usually goes hand-in-hand with humidity, often the sort of heat you get in the swamps, and would translate as something like Lahjula

Flame heat is the heat that comes from flames and is quite similar to dry heat in how it feel but is far more important due to it's relation to fire - Dagrilela is the word used to refer to this, from the word 'Tagr' with a softened 't' meaning 'white' (white flames = the hottest, and so white has similar connotations on Nal Hutta as it does on Tatooine) and 'lela', the word for 'shine', which is from the shimmering affect that happens with heat, (all with an added 'i' in between so the consonants don't get mushed)

As fire is linked so closely to freedom, I think flame heat might also have some connection to the word anu

Artificial heat is the heat that is usually found in places where Depur lives, where they can control the temperature as they please, and so is described as something like 'Fake heat'

All these words for heat are somewhat irrelevant (and definitely need some workshopping haha) to the one I actually want to focus on - dry heat

There might also be a fifth type of heat, a 'home heat' so to say, which is some sort of mix between Fire Heat and the idea of home...but this whole heat discussion is really getting out of hand for someone who knows next to nothing about conlanging

Back to Abbu-Dabbu

Dry heat is what Abbu-Dabbu would need to keep a house of salt alive within the swamps; it would need to be absolute and blanket quite a distance all the time lest her house melt around her

(And perhaps the building of her house might be one of her stories, of trying again and again, and it is only when the lost and unsure wander into her home and she lets them give advice (ultimately showing that she is stronger when she is part of a community) does it hold)

Abbu is this dry heat, and it's actual meaning derives from the idea of salt - this is the type of heat which can be used to get salt from the water, and heat is such an integral part of the salt itself, it's most of the salt's name

So the D in Dabbu sort of signifies that it's the result of the dry heat (if that makes any sense, it is getting very late and I know I am becoming nonsensical)

Vokkri

Vottra is a god that does not come from Amavikka tradition but got folded in from the Evocii tradition and that is why he is mostly only on Nal Hutta

The name Vottri comes from the original name of the Sky God Evotiirin, a name that slowly shifted over time to Vottri, and he is often represented as a bright star that shines bright enough to guide runaways through the thick swamp mists

The star in actuality no longer exists - it went supernova at one point and vanished - but there are a lot of myths about Vottri vanishing to hide from Depur, and how he will return when all the Amavikka are free to guide them to safety

I think this would be an example of a word where the 't' does not get softened into a 'd', probably because it's in the middle of the word and if it were dropped, it would rather ruin the structure of the word

Also because the name is holy so is cared for more diligently - some words, like greetings and goodbyes and certain figures in myth are told in the same way throughout the Amavikka as they are so precious to them that they make sure to pronounce the words exactly right rather than let linguistic flow take them

I'm not entirely sure what his name might meant as 'kest' is the word for star in the Tatooine dialect but I think this might be an example of where there is an entirely separate word for star on Nal Hutta - 'vottrak', which would translate to 'of Vottri'

On Lukka, Leia, Ekkreth and Ar-Amu

So I talked a bit about Ekkreth in his name section but I also wanted to touch on the other gods who end up everywhere (there are those that end up throughout pretty much all Amavikka tradition, those that end up through all of the tradition on a specific planet, and then those (often prophets) which are region specific)

Lukka was not created by fialleril but by @/blue-sunshine-mauve-morning in the same Desert Storm series I linked above (I love that fanfic so much), and she states in her fic that Lukka is a Tatooine only kinda god

I like Lukka too much so...I disregarded that and made him, along with Leia, Ekkreth and Ar-Amu, one of the gods who ends up pretty much everywhere in the galaxy

The themes that they represent throughout the galaxy are fairly consistent to; Ar-Amu is the mother, the one that all the Amavikka return to one day; Ekkreth is the trickster, which no chain can hold, whatever shape it is; Leia is the dragon, the anger of slaves that comes to crush slavers; and Lukka is the storm, that is safe for Amavikka to pass through but that will destroy any who follow.

Lukka

On Tatooine, Lukka is closely linked to the seven winds - some say the winds are Lukka's children, and some say that the winds are even older than Lukka and are what came together to form him - the winds are quite a common thing throughout Amavikka communities, although sometimes it is four winds rather than seven

On Nal Hutta and other more watery worlds though, Lukka is often referred to as The Storm and the Flood, although again, which came first is debated as the biggest threat on Nal Hutta is the terrible rainstorms that cause the swamp to flood into inhabited places

It's quite difficult to defend against these floods too as the water is everywhere, so it affects Depur as much as it affects the Amavikka in terms of destruction of property

Leia

Also from Blue_Sunshine's story, Leia is referred to as the Nal Hutta dragonsnake which is a creature canon to Nal Hutta, and I love this idea

She serves much the same purpose on Tatooine as she does on Nal Hutta but instead of the desert, she haunts the swamps

Dancing on Nal Hutta

So I mentioned this earlier but I really wanted to go into the implications of dance on Nal Hutta

Like I said before, Nal Hutta is a pleasure world for the Hutts and their cronies so there are a lot of places where slaves are used for entertainment like dance, which is why Ru's story is so important here

Of course, Ru always danced for himself in the way this story was told - some areas of Nal Hutta will have Bakkru being a dancer for Depur initially, or will have stories of Ru (who has already lived and died and lived again) returning to Depur to dance for him and to help free dancers as he returned to free his grandmother

But although dance is quite intrinsically linked to Depur on Nal Hutta, it is also very holy, in a way it's not really in most other places - due to Ru's story, it's linked a lot to fire and freedom, and the dancers who know the Bakkru are often fundamental pieces of the Freedom Trail

Ru's Symbol would be something that is carved onto the equivalent of Japor snippets on Nal Hutta, and is often given to dancers or those who have been picked to be pleasure slaves (who are often synonymous with dancers) as a charm of protection and good luck

Te bakkruker a anu or, 'You will dance in fire' is quite a common phrase to use when saying goodbye to a loved one who is either sold off or dying - it is wishing them freedom, as Bakkru was freed

However, it should be noted, that they are not wishing their loved one to die - although Bakkru died, Ru leads a lot of figures later to dance in fire to be freed who do not die, and so it is the more general idea of freedom

Final Words

This post grew absolutely massive so I feel like a final words section is appropriate haha (this is why I didn't try to put it in the AO3 author's notes section)

Thank you for getting this far! If you're interested in any of my thoughts about Amatakka and the Amavikka on planets outside of Tatooine (and on Tatooine too - there's a reason I love all this lore so much and it's because it worked so beautifully with Tatooine) please do hit me up, I'd love to talk about it more!

(And I'm neither an expert on the language nor a conglanger, so I would love some help with the words I was trying to make, and on how to distinguish dialects lol)

[thatdeadaquarius]

How about Benny in SAGAU? Like a continuation with Razor?? We do not talk about your growing found family 😤

Like, how would be his 'unluckiness'? Dya cancel it or you get pulled with his shenanigans? I feel like he might introduce you to his Dads no, we are still not going to talk about it 😤😤

A little scenario kept getting into my head when Benny applies Pyro and then Razor used his Electro and y'all got yer asses pounded on the ground 💀👌🏻and just taking care of each other's wounds 🥺🥺

You better be with him whenever he opens a chest so it wouldn't only spawn veggies, but decent weapon AND mora as well! You know, actual treasures, HOYO!!

BENNYYYYY ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOYSSS

This kid also arguably needs more parental supervision just bc of his sheer bad luck, poor kid

(i adore the headcanon that no matter the person's gender, he calls them dad lol)

Like,, hoyo cursed him and he's in a world with traps, monsters, fatui, MAGIC?? 💀 bro how is Benny still alive??!!

(LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY LOOK IN THIS GIF MY BOYS 🥺)

Okay but the fact that Benny calls so many ppl dad just proves his desire for parental/sibling affection 💔

Aight since u phrased this as a continuation of this post <3 RAZOR MY BOYYYY

That is what we shall do :) ! ! !

So ur running with the wolves still lol

Also ur symbol as the Creator reader is 🦄 or 🌈, bc ur gay and special, jk its bc elements i promise lol

Or even 😑 / 😶 for language reader shenanigans

♡

EDIT 4/11/24: HELLA forgot to say theres a sorta Part 3, its more focused on Razor living, rather than Benny tho fair warning!

Lupical for life bro

U r chillin with the pack now

Razor now has a sweet new digs, fits, and now a crazy amount of power

Bc ur just that great 💅

You have officially moved on to purchasing some leftover amenities/new furniture etc. for him and you :D

And while u could get some stuff in Springvale, like lanterns and soap and perfume and whatnot

Ur still not rlly getting furniture like a bedframe or some storage space, like a nightstand, from them

Which u dont need bc u still got an inventory

...but Razor definitely needs to store all his goodies somewhere that isnt up a tree or buried in a hole 😃

Yes, u did have to tell him to stop doing that.

So yall (u and Razor) are in Mondstadt a lot these days, and ur routine consists of grinding domains, hunting for food, hanging with cute Lupical puppies, playing giant tic-tac-toe w/ Andrius bc poor guy is pretty bored these days etc.

So you figured you run into ppl eventually, afterall you'd already re-met Lisa :)

(who at first was kind of taken aback to Razor having made a random adult friend in the woods, but after vibe checking her , and her vibe checking you, yall were cool, tho she did start reading these new lore books you didnt recognize called "Immortal They Return: A Series of Prophesies", she avoided ur questions abt it too..)

It was inevitable that after introducing you to Lisa, he'd gotten all excited at seeing two familiar figures hanging around Kathryne one day

THE BANDS GETTING BACK TOGETHER, ITS-

Fischl and Bennett !! :D the cutest adventurers in all of Mondstadt ! (besides Klee)

The two take one look at you and Razor and coming running

..

...

....well mostly Fischl,

Bennett got his boot laces tangled together somehow? And is kinda hopping his way over

Immediately the electro vision royalty launches into their quintessential speech (they/them fischl SUPREMACY)

And as u get introduced,

U watch the pyro boy hop and trip over while trying to untie the laces

And just as he's about to go down, and ur debating reaching out and supporting the poor guy bc geez this looks sm worse in person-

Bennett has finally gotten his shoes untied!

Even he looks shocked 💀

And he like, apruptly stops falling over too?

And walks over with no issue??

Theres even a few out of place cobblestones in his path which he sees and moves to avoid

You dont know who looks more shocked and kinda scared you, him, or Fischl/Oz or Razor

Fischl and Razor have stopped talking bc it was more distracting Bennett didnt fall 😭

..

...yall all just kinda,, stand in a circle of silence (well fly in oz's case)

Staring at Bennett.

(Even Katheryne looks impressed😭)

After a couple of shook seconds, Fischl is nearly yelling about some kind of curse being lifted?? , Razor is like, sniffing Bennett's immediate area for sus scents, Bennett is kicking rocks to see if any of them hit him anymore, and poor Oz is trying to calm them down

(none of the rocks hit Bennett btw, or anything valuable around him)

◇

So after that fiasco, u offer to take them around to the parts of Mondstadt they weren't allowed to go to w/o at least 1 adult :)

Theyre pumped and yall set off!

At first, Bennett hangs back, as Fischl and Razor throw themselves into monster battles yall encounter, as per what seems like a routine u assume bc of his bad luck

Eh, u figure while hes here, u might as well reveal u can make him stronger, u think he definitely needs the HP...

If there were any characters youd be worried about needing more power/HP in Mondstadt that u could level up besides Razor, itd be Bennett, hands down.

Between his adventuring, unnatural bad luck, and no parental supervision..

(even Klee seems better off than him, and shes like 7 💀)

Yeah, needless to say u were worried abt the guy

So he looks adorably fascinated <3, bc turns out they can see some of ur interface!

Mostly it looks like floating magical icons and that weird Teyvat language u saw in game, like that Abyss/ruins language u see all the time?

Bennett showed u his perspective in a sand drawing, hes actually pretty good at art wow

Razor couldnt rlly find the words to describe it before which is why u werent sure what they saw before now

And with that hes called into battle last by the others, mostly to apply pyro 🔥

and he fights at the edges to be further away from ppl u notice so he wont affect their luck..

aw Benny </3 :(

But as he draws his sword and ur getting ready trying to become a cheerleader for both Razor and Fischl but particularly Bennett,

He full on takes out 3 hilichurls at once 💀

...then with the dramatic down swing he does, he accidentally launches a rock right at the bigger hilichurl's foot..

...which trips him out of his axe swing...

...which makes it let go of the axe...

...which goes flying...

....breaks the last bit of the cryo abyss mage's shield bubble...

....

......

........and smacks it on the head too.

..fischl, oz, and razor halfway thru this insanity just like,, lower their weapons and stop to watch

Even the abyss mage is looking at Bennett surprised 😭😭

◇

Congratulations!

Bro, an achievement pops up-

"Lucky Day!!!"

Its little description says, "As Teyvat's God, you give the unluckiest person in Teyvat the luckiest day ever!"

💀

Bennett just sits down on the ground.

♤

(Same Benny because, this is where I lost it all, guys. All of that writing. Gone. Forever. I'm putting this here as both a gravestone for it, and a call out to tumblr. I'm not afraid of this website or its shitty admins, meet me in my dms for a real fight you fucks 🥊🥋🧍‍♂️you took what mattered to me, I'll take what matters to you, you god awful programmers. 🥲😐)

♤

And it just keeps happening like that for the rest of the day you guys are together.

Every chest Benny opens are way higher quality than they should be

Especially for him.

(also u have gotten so comfy from before when u were playing Genshin that u r physically struggling not to call him Benny, so when u do accidentally call him that, u try to apologize politely, but he just talks about finally having a nickname so giddy that u just stick with Benny, what a cutie)

Common chests, Razor/Fischl gets what u expect, you personally maybe get a little extra materials and money,

But Benny?

He opens a common chest and suddenly it's a secret Precious chest

The pyro boy honestly looks a little afraid

◇

You guys have a picnic later on for lunch together, partially bc Razor rlly wanted them to try ur food !! :D

Fischl and Benny were drooling over garlic salt, jesus- Teyvat's been deprived-

The blanket u used was a custom one u got made for Razor for his bday awhile back, all diff shades of purple and some silver wolf puppies and pawprints on it, 10/10 vv cute he loves it :)

(and also showed it off to his friends, Benny in particular looks smitten by it..)

◇

Fischl eventually gets herded by Oz back to Mondstadt bc of their parents wanting them back by dinner,

So u Razor and Benny r left to wander around :]

As u guys explore and get chests and talk,

U all begin to gather ingredients for dinner (not that u dont have an inventory but the boys dont wanna cut into ur supplies, the sweethearts)

... Benny slowly starts to find and accumulate foodstuffs

Those Phileano? mushrooms (the white toasty looking ones that r always on roofs or windmills?)

He finds at eye level on nearly any building u come across.

Crabs?

Benny currently has his shirt turned into a basket trying to contain them, and more are flocking to him lol

Snap dragons? Calla lilies?? Even violetgrass, those purple horsetails, lotus heads, and a few qingqin from Liyue somehow make it into his bag 💀

The real question to ask at this point is, when wasn't Bennett lucky today??

(wow never thought youd hear that one)

◇

So its a few weeks later, and Benny is like spending, every day with yall now lol

Ur getting dinner ready for u guys, and ur hopefully gonna make enough to leave leftovers for Lupical and Andrius,

So Razor has gone off to get some water to boil,

And Benny is climbing this huge tree to reach some eggs

And as he gets farther and farther up the tree away from you, he starts to slip more often 😬

Finally as he reaches the top, u realize after weeks without even a trip from him whenever hes around yall, why he wasnt unlucky-

...the closer he is to you, the luckier he is, and the farther Benny is-

He steps on a dead branch and it snaps :0 !!

Just as he falls, he screams and yells,

"DAD!!"

U push together some thick bushes and vines to catch him luckily

(lord knows u couldnt have caught him no matter how light he is, rip benny)

..Benny is okay, but he does go red in the face, and when u ask if he wants u to get one of his dads from the guild to check him over/make him feel better?

He says quickly "NO THANKS!"

Then Razor comes back like, "You call Lupical dad now?"

Benny: "What? No!"

You: "Do u see me as a, father figure, Bennett?"

Benny: "NO- more like I see u as a BOTHER figure bc ur always BOTHERING ME-"

Lol anyways jk

what a cutie tho,

(Ur Creator vibes made him feel vv at home in a way he hasnt felt before, so u got the honors early <3)

so ur a Dad™️ now (regardless of ur gender btw)

hope u like having a pack of puppies, a wolf spirit god, a wild wolf raised boy, and another wild but adventurer guild raised boy as ur family now 🤷‍♂️

Congratz U R THE FATHER LMAO

♧

You may or may not have also gotten onto Benny for charging straight into battle at other times, bc hes so used to bad luck happening anyway, apparently its canon he will just run in???

(to the point Grand Master VARKAS commented on it??!!)

U were pissed, bonked his head and everything-

He looked sufficiently chastised, but when u originally found out Fischl and Razor were nearby,

And u just hear snickering behind u as u bop him

(U bop them later too for that lol)

◇

Benny is also very good at treating injuries bc of this too apparantly,

So one time when you Razor and him were engaging with a couple hilichurls again on the way to Windrise,

Benny applied pyro, and bc u were standing father away than usual (there was an archer earlier u were dodging)

His bad luck crept in and when Razor went to charge up his wolf spirit electro ult-

...everyone went flying back.

...Including Benny and Razor 💀

You heard a really sick pop!

From Benny's shoulder :(

You quickly start pullin out the healing foods lol shove a fishstick in his mouth screaming IT HEALS like a crazed grandparent lmao

But Benny has already sighed and sat up, popping his arm back into place

🤢🤮

You^

While u do praise his healing??? skills,

U have found out thru him that apparently ur food also gives some pain killer effects

So u scold him and bop him on the head with some dango 🍡

For not waiting on u to help him lol

..

Which btw-

Any healing food u give him, he treats like the bandages many others give him, like Barbara, Katheryne, his guild dads, etc.

And holds onto them, rarely eating them

(Ur stuff preserves until needed bc its magical Creator powers surprise, surprise)

Benny feels like its a tangible piece of your care he can keep with him <3 sobs

"Well, since you're by my side, I guess I'm not that unlucky after all!"

proud of you son :')

♤

Ok so youve been getting Razor and u furnishings right

And youve been asking him what he wants to add to the caves digs ! :]

(U made a more fortified "front door" to the cave entrance, its also not that deep of a cave so there r only like 3 other "rooms" besides the main entrance area)

U improved both of u guys beds (tho razor will crash urs if he has a nightmare)

Along with some new outfits for him!

And so he has requested some stuff, but as time goes on,

Slowly, Razor goes from telling Benny about what new thing u added or telling his friend abt what he wants for the cave/himself,

To asking Benny what he wants bc he stays over so often 😭

(Youve gotten Benny factored into ur finances now lol, u gave him new clothes, new gear, amenities, etc. It also helps him bc he doesnt rlly have a main caretaker, so if he needs money he has to take commissions, which can be dangerous to him alone bc if u dont know, Benny's Adventuring Team only has him as the single member of it, plus thats not good if he is too sick or too injured to work, so a 2nd source of lowkey income is good for him <3 )

◇

U now have a coffee table as the dinner table (razor was used to sitting on the ground to eat so a high table felt weird to him)

And it has a few pillow chair thingys?

For you, Razor, Benny, and a guest aw 💘

Benny also originally wanted to help make smth for u guys as a house warming gift

but bc he would try to work on it away from ur influence, it would break everytime :(

Eventually u just coninvced the poor kid to help u pick out some nice rugs and stuff lol

He also has surprisingly good interior design tastes, huh, who knew?

(cough when benny stays over he usually stays in razors bed, but occasionally theyre both lonely had nightmares and ask to crash with u, i love these kids sm cough)

♧

Recently youve been visiting Benny in town even w/o Razor sometimes (rare as it is lol)

Mostly bc it seems like he needs the attention too <3

U gotta make sure hes eating real food okay

U dont want him to end up like u in ur world where u ate snacks for dinner when u were his age...

And Benny gets super hype about it every time, hes grabbing u by the arm, hauling u around to talk to ppl etc.

(Did i mention ur one of the few or not at all ppl who he can freely hold onto no matter the weather/situation bc his bad luck doesnt happen to you?? Oh no??? Well there u go :)

Most notably, to talk to the other Guild Dads™️

They deadass lowkey postured at you for an hour at you before giving in bc u seemed to be the only good luck charm the kid's ever gotten in his entire life 😭

They also r rlly happy someone is able to bc of his rlly bad luck willing to look out for him when they cant :)

♡

For his birthday, you guys all celebrated by doing a picnic again like when u first met them, and you made him a cake

Benny's face rlly said " :'D !! "

Later on, for presents, you got him a blanket matching Razor's !!

Shades of red, with some good luck symbols thruout to maybe make up for when ur not there, and puppies all over <3

And at the top, you yourself embroidered (attempted, so its kinda sloppy but still readable, its endearing you like to think)

"Benny's Adventure Team"

With your name, Razor, Fischl, and even Oz and Andrius lol, all embroidered (not by u bc u stabbed urself enough times making the title thx) as team members down below 👍

You also show him a copy of the book record Katheryne keeps of adventuring teams, telling him that you snuck into Mondstadt one day w/o him knowing and officially signed you guys together (the others agreed too ofc)

.

..

...

...Benny cried, straight up.

And just like held onto you for bascially the rest of the day ❤️

♡

MY HEART FOR MY BOYS FOREVER

♡

(you also may or may not have signed the corner with "love, dad" haha what)

♡

☆

I just want y'all to know.

I had like this whole thing ready to post.

Then tumblr decided it didn't like any of my writing, and deleted half of this post.

U probably saw the spot i marked where i lost it all :'/

I think it took an hour? Or at least 30 minutes to write.

Guess tumblr didn't like that I was adding so much in one go.

So now it's gone.

Doin smth ballsy bc in order to avoid that, ive just rewritten that lost half, and am just going to post it straight up rather than expecting it to save my draft 🥲

Those beautiful moments between Bennett and us, are gone forever. My memory isn't good enough to rewrite it all. ;-;

If you don't mind, I'll be crying somewhere over those lost Benny moments that I drafted on here and can no longer remember to add.

I guess that's tumblr's cruel way of telling me to go the extra mile and draft my bullshit on a literal Google Doc then come back here and deal with the formatting transition hell.

Thanks tumblr.

Appreciate the writing advice.

💔

(Fischl Voice) TIS I, WATERS OF THE SKY, IN THE NIGHT I SHINE UPON THEE, OH MOST HEAVENLY OF DIVINE BEINGS, FEAST YOUR EYES UPON MY OFFERINGS TO THINE BELOW!! COME ONE, COME ALL, FIND MY LABRYNTH'S RULES, AND REJOICE IF YE FIND THE TREASURE WITHIN!

(Oz translation: hey its aquarius here! I hope you gods enjoyed my writing! Feel free to check out my Masterpost/Writing Rules List if you guys ever wanna request something, including non-Sagau/Isekai stuff! :] )

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

(^^^^

Hey not sure if yall will see this, but while this does have influences of Sagau/Isekai genshin, its still pretty just platonic genshin stuff, so let me know if thats not what u wanna be tagged for - just dm me!!)

[hauntingblue]

Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....

[foodlesoodlesdoodles]

my wrist hurts soooo fucking bad anyway I think I’ve worked on this long enough to justify not doing any more

[joshriku]

at any and all times i'm thinking of this

[kuromi-hoemie]

i just finished iron blooded orphans and need to lay down for a bit

[heepthecheep]

Honestly I wish grief could be a constant consistent feeling instead of coming and going and hitting you like a freight train

[fruitmouse]

looking at pics of me with long hair is sooooo strange now