#the book of bill is driving us all mad

[w3irdoartist]

Drawing miserably divorced Bill Cipher has been the most wonderful pastime.

Poor lil guy can fit so much trauma in him.

But ofc bilford has also been a wonderful pastime.

TGG reference btw ↑

[luveline]

Ahh I’m so obsessed with stripper!reader and Spencer!! Do you have any more thoughts about them you’d be willing to share, maybe just a snippet of their life together? So so in love with them and your writing in general

i got a different request for them that I lost about reader struggling to afford essentials and so I thought I’d combine them, I hope that’s ok!! <;3 fem, 1.1k

cw food insecurity/ poverty 

You attempt to save money, but the ten dollars you don't spend on shampoo and conditioner gets used on painkillers. You hide fifty dollars in a book and try to forget about it, but your shoes split open on the walk to work, and it takes all afternoon to find it again. You try so hard to stretch your paycheck and something new makes it impossible. 

So it's a cold night in late December and you spent all your money for food on the gas bill. Your stomach hurts, but at least your nose isn't that horrible stiff cold that distracts. 

It's not just that your stomach hurts, though. You feel miserable about everything, and you know you need to ask someone for help. You've thought about selling something, but you already pawned your watch, and everything else is inconsequential. 

I could sell my phone… but how would I talk to Spencer? 

It's the stupidest thought you could've had. More importantly, how would you communicate with work? How would you call your electric and gas company, or talk to your landlord? 

Spencer would be so sad if he knew you’d sold your phone to pay for food. He’d probably be upset knowing you considered it. And you won’t get paid for another three days, so unless you can somehow live off of olives and cherries from the club bar, you have to ask Spencer for money or get a loan. With your credit score, one situation is more likely than the other. 

You bring your phone across the pillow and sigh before clicking on his contact. He’s practically the only number you call. 

“Hello?” you ask. 

“Hi, Y/N.” 

“Hello, handsome,” you murmur, staging an affect of someone who couldn’t be more unbothered by the world. 

“Yeah, hi. You okay?” 

You don’t want to butter him up. It feels dishonest. You should be straight forward. “Spencer. You know I hate asking you for things.” 

“Yes, it’s the only bad thing about you.” He sounds like he’s smiling. You can imagine him on his couch reading something obscure, or watching one of his sci-fi shows, curls in his eyes, grey pyjamas too short for him riding up his calves as they tend to do.

“But I need– um. I don’t have any money?” You don’t mean to phrase it like a question. “Like. Okay, so, I promise you I am not an irresponsible person, just, my gas bill went up and I didn’t know, but it’s so cold I paid it anyways, and now I have three dollars. Um. Total. And I haven’t eaten all day and I’m sorry I’m asking, but I just need like twenty dollars until I get paid on Tuesday. Could you let me borrow twenty dollars, please?” 

“Do you want to get takeout?” 

You cringe. “No, like, twenty dollars for groceries, Spence.” 

“No, I understood. That’s fine, I’ll happily give you twenty dollars. But you said you haven’t eaten today? And I miss you, so it’s an excuse?” Now he’s the one making questions out of statements. “I can get us Thai food.” 

Your stomach pangs at the thought. No matter how much you hate this, you know he loves you enough to want to bring you dinner, and you really will pay him back, so he might as well. “Yeah, please. I’d love to see you, Dr. Reid.”

“I’ll be quick,” he promises. 

He isn’t. You wonder if he’s forgotten you and your rumbling stomach, curled into a c-shape under the sheets. It’s warm, at least, nearly too warm, the blade of your hunger threatening to drive you mad. It’s not a nice feeling, depending on the kindness of a friend to see you through, nor is it very pleasant to be this hungry. You’ve gone hungry a hundred times, and this is the only time you’ve ever had someone you trusted enough to turn to during that time to ask for help. What if Spencer’s decided he isn’t comfortable with your lending after all and he doesn’t come over tonight? 

You’d been looking forward to seeing him again. It’s almost worse than the hunger. 

Just as you’re thinking he’s decided he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, he lets himself in. 

Your apartment is small, consisting of three rooms. The bedroom, the bathroom, and the living room kitchen combination. He lets himself into the living room with a cacophony of rustling and a called, “Hello!” followed soon by a muttered swear. 

You laugh under your breath.

“Are you coming out here, or do you want to eat dinner in bed?” he asks. 

“I haven’t decided yet.” 

It’s quiet enough besides his arrival that you’ve no need to shout.

“Well, stay there if you want. Have you been drinking anything? I brought iced tea and some stuff for you to have breakfast tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” You force yourself to sit up. One moment you’re looking at the closed door and the next you’re squinting against the light of the kitchen, Spencer in the doorway like a silhouette against it. “Hey, Spence. You’re taller than last time.” 

“I’m the same size as always.”

“You’re still wearing your shoes. That must be it.” 

Spencer takes off his shoes and crosses the short distance to you. “Hi,” he says, taking your hand as he sits down. His fingers are freezing. “Sorry I took a while.”

“Sorry for asking you for money.” 

“It’s okay. It’s not something to worry about. Everyone has to ask a favour sometime.” 

His hair is wind blown, his eyes watery. The cold weather has nipped his pert nose a rosy pink and he’s smiling at you with chapped lips, unaware of or uncaring about his own circumstances in the face of yours. “You okay?” he asks, his pretty brown eyes narrowing, eyebrows pinching together at the starts. “You can’t just not eat all day and not tell me.”

You nod tightly. It’s humiliating to be in this position. 

He softens. “Did they tell you the rate was rising? It’s illegal in Virginia–”

You take your hand from his. “They sent me a letter I didn’t open. I knew it would be bad news.” 

Spencer looks down at your knees. “I know that you’re used to doing things by yourself, but you don’t have to anymore.”

“‘Cos you look after me,” you say quietly. 

“I’m trying to.” 

You laugh and jog your joined hands to make him look up. “Okay. Look after me some more then and give me a hug. I’m too warm, and you’re freezing.” 

He hugs you tightly, quick to rub your shoulder blade with his thumb. “Stay here, okay? I’ll bring you a plate.” 

You cling to him for a few seconds, until hunger wins, and you send him off into the kitchen again. 

[blindfoldlove2]

Books I’ve consumed so far in 2024:

The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli

I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Yong

Something Deeply Hidden by Sean Carroll

How to Read Nature: An Expert’s Guide to Discovering the Outdoors You Never Noticed by Qarie Marshall

Helgoland: Making Sense of the Quantum Revolution by Carlo Rovelli

The World According to Physics by Jim Al-Khalili

How Not To Kill Yourself: A Portrait of the Suicidal Mind by Clancy Martin

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler

A Series of Fortunate Events: Chance and the Making of the Planet by Sean B. Carroll

Listen: On Music, Sound and Us by Michel Faber

The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh

I am a Strange Loop by Douglas R. Hofstadter

Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman by Leslie Feinberg

Spectrums: Autistic Transgender People in Their Own Words by Maxfield Sparrow

All the Flowers Kneeling by Paul Tran

Supporting Transgender Autistic Youth and Adults by Finn V. Gratton, LMFT, LPCC

Nisa by Marjorie Shostak

Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will by Robert M. Sapolsky

21 Lessons for the 21st History by Yuval Harrari

The Book Of Secrets by Deepak Chopra

The Joy of Science by Jim Al-Khalili

The Rock Warriors Way by Arno IIgner

The Pursuit of Endurance by Jennifer Pharr Davis

Quantum Mechanics, Technology, Consciousness and the Multiverse by Martin Ettington

Born to Run by Christopher McDougall

Connecting with the Autism Spectrum by Casey “Remrov” Vormer

Light Falls: Space, Time, and an Obsession with Einstein by Brian Greene

A Walk In the Woods by Bill Bryson

10 Days in Physics that Shook the World by Brian Clegg

On Being a Therapist by Jeffrey Kottler

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the language of the human experience by Brene Brown

What do you really want? By Cayla Craft

The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

Chemistry for Breakfast by Dr. Mai Thi Nguyen-Kim

The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin

A Molecule Away from Madness by Sara Manning Peskin

Quantum Wonder: How the Tiny Drives Our Immense Reality by Carl AL-Khalili

Building a Life Worth Living by Marsha Linehan

How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply by David Brooks

Speed Reading by Kam Knight

Being You: A New Science of Consciousness by Anil Seth

You Are Not an Imposter by Coline Monsarrat

You are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Welcome to the O.C.: The Oral History by Alan Sepinwall

Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey by Florence Williams

DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Sheri Van Dijk MSW

Move on Motherf*cker: Live, Laugh, and Let Sh*t Go by Jodie Eckleberry-Hunt, Emma Bryne PhD

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Real and proven strategies for managing anxiety by Charlie Norman

CBT Workbook: 7 Strategies to Overcome Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, Worry, Intrusive Thoughts by Mind Change Academy

Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A comprehensive guide to DBT and using Behavior Therapy to Manage Borderline Personality Disorder by Christopher Rance

Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theoretical and Practical Considerations by Hale Boyd

Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Regulate Emotions, Panic, Anger. Guide for BPD by Dustin Drig

How Confidence Works: The new science of self belief by Ian Robertson

Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm by Thich Nhat Hanh

The God Equation by Michio Kaku

Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Cindy Crosby

Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking

Quantum: A Guide for the Perplexed by Jim Al-Khalili

Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh

Einstein in Time and Space: A Life in 99 Particles by Samuel Graydon

Reality is Not What It Seems by Carlo Rovelli

Resurrecting the Body, Reinventing the Soul by Deepak Chopra

A Brief History of Intelligence by Max Bennett

What the Future Looks like by Jim Al-Khalil

Retirement 101: From 401(k) Plans to Social Security Benefits to Asset Management by Michele Cagan

Still the Mind by Alan Watts

Anchor System Thinking by A.I. Shoukry

Finance Basics by Harvard Business Review

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

A Brief History of Earth by Andrew Knoll

The Physics Book by DK

Investing for Beginners by David Cohne

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Drink? The New Science of Alcohol and your Health by Professor David Nutt

Unique: The New Science of Human Individuality by David Linden

Psychedelics by Professor David Nutt

What do you need? By Lauren Wesley Wilson

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins

Endure by Cameron Hanes

Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh

Die with Zero: Getting all you can with your money and your life by Bill Perkins

How Humans Evolved by Robert Boyd and Joan Silk

No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz,PHD

The Matter of Everything: How Curiosity, Physics, and Improbable Experiments Changed the World by Suzie Sheehy

The Radium Girls by Kate Moore

Bumpin: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy by Leslie Schrock

Choose Strong by Sally McRae

Outgrowing God by Richard Dawkins

Can We Talk about Israel? By Daniel Sokatch

Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays by Stephen Hawking

Hal Koerner’s Field Guide to Ultra Running by Hal Koerner

The Science and Art of Running by Cooper Barton

Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness by Scott Jurek

North: Finding my Way While Running the Appalachian Trail by Scott Jurek & Jenny Jurek

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Securities Industries Essentials by Kaplan

Above the Clouds by Kilian Jornet

What is Life? by Paul Nurse

What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Mastering Logical Fallacies by Michael Withey

This is why you Dream by Rahul Jandial,MD,PHD

The Tao of Running by Gary Dudney

Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil DeGrasse Tyson

The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins

Parallel Worlds: A Journey through Creation, Higher Dimensions and the Future of the Cosmos by Michio Kaku

Dance of the Photons by Anton Zelinger

Quantum Body by Deepak Chopra

The Heart of Understanding by Thich Nhat Hanh

Annuity 360 Learn All You Need to Know About Annuities by Ford Strokes

Quantum Entanglement by Jed Brody

Relationships by Ram Dass

The Way of Zen by Alan Watts

Ultimate Confidence by Ralf Aabot

101 Essays that will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest

The Science of Happiness by Brendan Kelly

Fighting for our Friendships by Danielle Bayard Jackson

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant

K2: Life and Death on the World’s Most Dangerous Mountain by Ed Viesturs and David Roberts

Know that I Am by Eckhart Tolle

Girls Like Us by Sheila Weller

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson

Girls that Invest by Simran Kaur

Slow Productivity by Cal Newport

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

Retroactive Jealousy by Vincenzo Venezia

Right Thing, Right Now by Ryan Holiday

The Best American Essays 2022 by Alexander Chee & Robert Atwan

Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

Insecure in love by Leslie Becker-Phelps PHD

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Be Here Now by Ram Dass

Reality, Art, and Illusion by Alan Watts

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

We Will be Jaguars by Nemonte Nenquimo

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki

The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians by James Patterson and Matt Everymann

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Series 7 by Kaplan

What Every Therapist Ought to Know: Attachment, Arousal Regulation, and Clinical Techniques in Clinical Therapy by Stan Tatkin, Psyd,MFT

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Touching a Nerve: Our Brain, Our Selves by Patricia Churchland

Fundamentals: Ten Keys to Reality by Frank Wilczek

Creativity, Inc. ( The expanded edition)by Ed Catmull and Amy Wallace

Bang Crunch Stories by Neil Smith

List of Books I Consumed in 2023:

The Last climb by David Breashears, Audrey Selkeld, and Audry Salkend

What is Life by Schrodinger

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Beyond Feeling: A Guide to Critical Thinking by Vincent Ryan Ruggiero

Furniture by Kevin Sheetz

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

Relativity by Albert Einstein

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

An Immense World by Ed Yong

Quantum Supremacy by Michio Kaku

White Holes by Carlo Rovelli

A Separate Reality by Carlos Castaneda

Outlive by Peter Attia

Until the End of Time by Brian Greene

Tribe by Sebastian Junger

Ghosts of Everest by Jochen Hemmleb

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Mind and Matter by Schrodinger

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

Grit by Angela Duckworth

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a fuck by Mark Manson

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell

The Fabric of the Cosmos by Brian Greene

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

Homo Deus Summary a Brief History of Tomorrow by Yuval Harari

Alone on the Wall by Alex Honnold

Why we Believe in God (s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith by J. Anderson Thomson

Physics and Philosophy: The Revolution of Modern Science by Werner Heisenberg

The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Chopra

Sacred Woman by Queen Afja

Everest: The West Ridge by Thomas Hornbein

Tracks by Robyn Davidson

The Ink Dark Moon by Ono no Komachi and Izumi Shikoku

Einstein by Walter Isaacson

Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman

[f4iry-bell]

Grayson x reader argument angst/comfort

dates and bags

this was supposed to be in my current series but I've decided to stop it and so it's here!! idk if it'll come under comfort tho because it's just vvv little confort but YEAH!!!!!

It has been exactly a month since things started becoming a bit serious with Grayson and her. A month of pure contentment. But it didn't last long, it was like someone was praying for them to seperated because Grayson started being distant. Everyday phone calls became text messages, text messages became one word reply or being left on read. Weekly dates or just them going out together became rare. He barely answered her calls, he'd text her ‘im bust’ after ignoring her calls. At first she believed that he was actually busy with work, after all he had his own life. But how long can one stay busy? Probably Grayson Hawthorne but this time Grayson Hawthorne has a girlfriend or whatever they are right now. A serious commitment.

It took her three phone calls and use of imperative sentences to convince him to meet her at a cafe they used to meet. Neither of them spoke much once Grayson arrived at the cafe late. 

“So, how are you doing?” She asked him with a bland tone. 

“Fine” He replied with an aloof tone.

“Are you sure?” She asked with her eyebrows raised. 

“Yes.” 

“Then why have you been acting like an asshole to me all week?” She snapped.

Grayson was taken aback by her snapping. But he kept his cool. “No need of vulgar language to resolve whatever silly reason you're mad at me for” 

“Silly reason?” She scoffed.

“I don't think I have done anything for you to be this mad” He said.

“You've been distancing yourself from me and ghosting me for a week!” She tried hard not to yell.

“I told you, I have been busy. Plus, I do answer your texts.” 

“No, you don't. You say ‘ok’, ‘i'll text you later’, ‘i’m busy’. You don't answer me.” She cleared it for him.

“I thought you'd understand that I'm a busy man, I don't have time for you all day”

“But you did when we met! If not all day, you had time for me for at least an hour. Now you can't even spare me a minute” She breaks down, the anger now turning into hurt.

Instead of giving her a reason, a real reason. Grayson tried to leave. “Look, I don't have time for this. I'll talk to you later,”he said.

“Screw this. Don't bother. If you even bother enough to think about me.” She stood up, grabbing her bag and taking out a bill to pay. “I'm out of this. I'm done” 

“What do you mean?” He asked as he watched her move out of their table.

“You know what I mean.” With that the one romantic relationship that worked out well for Grayson ended.

_

She tried not to think about Grayson and how he used to treat her, she tried not to care at all so she wouldn't be hurt. But she failed every time. It has been exactly four days since she called it off and blocked his number, not that she was expecting him to call or text. At 1 in the morning someone knocked on her apartment door. She walked out of bed and started to think whether or not to answer the door, it's 1 am, who could it be? 

Sighing she opened the door just 3 inches to see who it was while holding a broomstick behind her. She was surprised and angry to see who it was. 

“Grayson?”

He smiled. “Hello, love” She can smell the alcohol in his breath.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, and she noticed he was still holding a flask. How much did he drink?

“I missed you” He looked at her how he used to.

“Well keep missing me, cause I'm not talking to you. Go back to your place” She said and was about to slam the door but stopped when he gagged like was going to puke. 

“Sorry about that. Anyways, you look so beautiful,” he commented with a cheeky smile. Her anger only grew.

“Did you drive here?” She asked and he nodded. “Are you stupid? Driving while you're this drunk?” She asked, followed by an annoyed scoff.

 She shook her head and asked him to book a cab and go back to his place again, when he tried to get closer to her he almost lost his balance.

“You're so frustrating.” She said and grabbed his arm to help him inside her apartment, she helped him to sit on the couch and went to grab a glass of water for him. When she came back he was drinking from the flask again, she snatched it from his hand and handed him the glass. “Drink this”

“Thank you” He drank it. “Shouldn't you be mad at me?” He asked. 

“I am.”

“Then why are you offering me water?”

“So you can sober up and leave”

“Wrong. Because you're nice,” he said. “Too nice. Too pretty, too adoring, too passing, too considerate” He kept going.

“All that and yet—” Grayson cut her off mid sentence by talking.

“I told my brothers about you” He said. “And what happened”

“What did they say?” She tried not to think that Grayson told his brothers because he thought he messed up.

“They called me an idiot” He smiled.

“You are”

“I know. They also said you deserve an explanation. I guess that's why I'm here” 

“Go on, explain”

“Like I said, you're just too good. Too good for me, I don't deserve you but I decided to be selfish when I asked you out. But I started to panic because I was getting attached to you, I thought this would just be a fling but it was becoming so much bigger. It wasn't supposed to be like that for me, I can't stay selfish for a very long time. If you know my family history you'd hate me.” He explained.

“You think you don't deserve me? Grayson, I'm not special. And that is no excuse to distance yourself from me. Do you know how much you've hurt me? And I don't care about your family history, I liked you for you. You as an individual.”

“You liked me? You don't like me now? I understand. It was a false hope for thinking you'd still like me, I did act like an asshole to you” He let out a fake chuckle.

She thought for a moment before speaking. “I still like you, you know. You can't dislike someone just like that, especially someone like you.” She said.

Grayson blinked “You do?”

She nods.

“Does that mean you'd be willing to forgive me? My brothers said I should at least try and ask you for another chance” He asked.

She rolled her eyes. “First of all you didn't apologise yet.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For pushing you away because I hate myself and can't allow myself to have nice things” 

She sighs. “It's gonna take a lot more than a drunken apology.”

“So you'd be willing to try?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

She shrugged. “Now come on, let's get you to bed.” She said and took his hand, and laid him on her bed. “And don't you dare puke on my sheets” She warns.

He moved to the corner giving her some space, she climbed next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Is this okay?” He asked.

“It's fine.” She said, totally not bothered by his touch.

After five minutes of silence she spoke. “You know, you deserve to be loved. I don't why you think you don't, but you're a nice person, Grayson. And if you let me, I might fall in love with you”

“Thank you for saying that. Also, take back what you said earlier.” He said.

“What?”

“When you said you're not special. Because you are, to me.”

 She turned to his side. “Don't sweet talk me. You owe me multiple dates before I officially forgive you”

“Just dates?”

“And a bag, maybe.”

“Dates and bag it is then”

She smiled. “You're really good at pushing people. But this better be the last time. Okay?”

“Yes, ma’am” 

[inkwyvern]

I've been looking at the Book of Bill website so hard my eyes are about to burst into flames, but here's what I've found so far:

- Soos is living his best life as the new Mr Mystery, and him and Melody are the new gold standard for healthy relationships.

- The characters' notes are written on paper from the Book of Bill

- Ford currently owns the Book of Bill, and is planning to destroy it.

- Prolonged exposure to the book may be driving us mad? I'm sure we're all fine. Probably.

- Typing "Hectoring" into the computer brings up an audiolog of a woman's experience with Bill.

- Typing the characters' names into the computer gives you different notes or links.

- Typing in "Theraprism" gives a reference to what looks like cthulu with the sign "In case of The Old One, do not use elevators".

- Bill has been around since Ancient Greece at least. Pythagorus and Plato discovered that the best way to repel Bill is to try and talk about geometry with him.

- Pacifica's father hosts "grown up masquerade parties". No context needed (or wanted) but absolutely no surprise to be found.

- The night after Dipper helped Pacifica with the Northwest Mansion ghost, Bill appeared in her dreams in the form of Nathaniel Northwest. He offered her a deal that he'd get rid of the twins if she stole a snowglobe from the mystery shack. Pacifica refused.

- At the bottom of Ford's note to Dipper is a code in the Bill Cipher code language. Some of the symbols are backwards, but even backwards it doesn't make sense. Anyone got any ideas?

[robbyrobinson]

{Creepypasta} Remember Euclydia

Growing up, Gravity Falls was truly something special. Released back in 2012 and concluding after two seasons on February 15, 2016, the Disney Channel series revolved around Dipper and Mabel Pines, a set of fraternal twins, who were sent to spend their summer vacation in the fictional town of Gravity Falls, Oregon, with their great uncle, or rather “Grunkle” Stanley Pines. Together, they work at Grunkle Stan’s tourist trap “The Mystery Shack” alongside Soos and Wendy Corduroy. It is there that Dipper would discover a journal cataloging all the mysterious anomalies that plague the town.

Of course, the show was best remembered because of its use of cryptograms such as the Caesar cipher among other varieties of encrypted puzzles. In fact, shortly after the series finale was aired, a real-life Cipher hunt was orchestrated by series creator Alex Hirsch himself which spanned countries beginning in Saint Petersburg, Russia, and, appropriately ending in Reedsport, Oregon. And it is there, somewhere in the woods that the victors who decoded the mystery were met with a statue of an... old friend.

Fans of the show are more than familiar with the sinister Dream Demon Bill Cipher, but for those who slept on the show, Bill Cipher was the main antagonist of the series, a triangular fiend from the Second Dimension who was originally meant to be a one-off character before he was promoted. To keep the spoilers to a minimum, Bill wanted to merge his decaying dimension, the Nightmare Realm, with the Earth succeeding at his goal in “Dipper and Mabel vs. The Future” when he deceived a despondent Mabel. He rained weirdness on the entirety of Gravity Falls in an apocalyptic event dubbed Weirdmageddon driving people to the brink of insanity with his Bubbles of Pure Madness and transforming others into stone statues and creating a Throne of Frozen Human Agony from them.

However, despite his near victory, Bill is predictably defeated, leaving his physical form behind to get an equation which prevented him from spreading his weirdness to the rest of the world. While the show ended on a great note with the day saved, it left a plethora of questions, the most damning one being on the demonic triangle himself. Was Bill truly dead, or could there be a chance he could return to wreak havoc on the Pines family?

This question lingered for years and was only further muddled with the subsequent releases of books to expand the universe of Gravity Falls. The most alarming one was written from the perspective of the Dream Demon himself, which begged the question: if Bill was dead, how could he be writing the book? Was he in some weird afterlife, preferably Hell for all the atrocities he committed throughout the trillions of years he was alive? Or was he hiding in the deepest regions of Grunkle Stan’s mind? The Book of Bill promised to reveal Bill’s origins and ultimately clear up where he had been for all those years since the show finished production.

Naturally, the book is classic Bill with its morbid, dark humor, and, to its credit, it did reveal Bill’s backstory... or at least bits of it that put together. Even in the original cartoon it was common knowledge that Bill was a native of the Second Dimension where, as he put it, was a realm containing nothing but flat dreams, flat minds, and a flat world. It was then that Bill “liberated” his dimension, and he did such an exceedingly excellent job at it that... the dimension no longer exists. Everyone was dead, even his parents.

While the book could be summed up as being just nonsense that Bill wrote to ensnare a hapless victim to possess and start Weirdmageddon anew, what made this an even more interesting turning point is the creation of a tie-in website “thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com.” The site could be best described as being additional pages of The Book of Bill that were left on the drawing board detailing more lore to the series and giving some funny responses. Just try typing in “Ted Cruz” and you would be introduced to a popup that informs you that you violated standards and practices and therefore you must have your mouth washed out. Or if you typed in “Skibidi” you are met with the lovely message that your life privileges are revoked. Then there were the... not-so-funny responses like what happens if you type in “Stanley” one-too-many times.

After hearing about the website, I decided to visit the website. I was met with several interesting visuals like a human skull with a gold tooth; an eye in a jar; a copy of The Book of Bill with a dagger stabbed into it. Best of all, the low beat of the show’s theme song complimented the mysterious aura that took me back to when I first watched the cartoon. I soaked in the atmosphere for a few more seconds before I remembered the reason I logged onto the website.

I started off with the codes I already was familiar with ranging from the names of the main characters and was met with amusing results. I then thought of ones off the top of my head to see if they also worked. If you were to type Season 1 into the computer, you’d get “Anti-Gravity Falls” for one, or Season 1 if you plugged in Season 2. As I further experimented with the outcomes, my mind directed me towards Cipher again. However, I had already used “Bill,” “triangle,” and “Bill Cipher” so I needed to think of something else... maybe on some of his classifications. Given the terminology that he was a Dream Demon, the most sense was to type “dream.”

So... I did. I wrote out “dream” and pressed enter. Red flashed from the computer denoting that the word was not one of the codes. I was disappointed, but I remembered how there were tricks to some of the words, so I pressed the enter key again. But like before, no slice. However, I was not one to just give up after the first two goes. I pressed enter again and again in rapid succession only for the same blaring to ring out.

It was the very definition of insanity I admit, but if it provided me with answers to Bill’s nature, I would have felt obligated. Eventually, the pyramid placeholder on the computer glitched as a new message popped up:

PA'Z UVA TF MHBSA PA'Z UVA TF MHBSA PA'Z UVA TF MHBSA TF LFL... P JHU ZAPSS ZLL AOL IBYUPUN IVKPLZ... PA OBYAZ PA OBYAZ... WSLHZL ZVTLVUL AHRL HDHF AOL WHPU!!!

I could practically hear Bill railing against me the further I typed the word into the password interface. The screen glitched and flashed in vibrant colors undoubtedly representing a color code. Clearly whatever was going on indicated that whatever was happening was working to my favor. It must have taken me thirty times, but the website appeared to relent. Another message fizzled up asking me if I really wanted to know the deep dark secret this time offering me a yes or no option. I chose the former, and after it stalled for a few seconds, it sent me a link to a video with the simple title of “Remember Euclydia.”

From my research on the wiki for Gravity Falls, I came to the realization that Euclydia was the name of Bill’s realm and that I would be sitting front and center and witness the destruction of the world. True to what he had alluded to, Eucyldia existed on a flat plane, as if it were just a piece of paper. In this dimension, there were no stars or cosmic bodies to speak of, with all the inhabitants of that realm bumping into each other at random and talk of any other dimensions was strictly forbidden. Everyone had two-dimensional forms befitting their environment, but I could also tell that the realm did have a sense of leadership.

Two triangles, one red, the other blue, directed the citizens with authoritative stride. Among the gathered assemblies were rhombuses and ellipses. Squares and diamonds. All the shapes you were taught in preschool were in attendance as they waited for some grand experience. What I found the most peculiar about the two triangles, however, were their two sets of eyes. If they were supposed to be Bill’s parents, then that only further indicated that Bill was born with a mutation. Just as I came to that conclusion, more cryptograms, this time representing the Caesar cipher, filled the screen.

Decoding it, the symbols formed a sentence: “In aspiration of making his people see all, the killer’s mental state took a great fall.”

My eyes were directed to a yellow triangle with a single peeper rise above the others. It floated over to the farthest end of its reality when I heard the rumblings of a song. I carefully pressed the plushy cushions of my headphones to better hear what tune it was playing. It possessed a soft, motherly tone making me speculate it was Bill’s mother Scalene. I would be lying if I did not say that the lullaby lulled me into a false sense of security.

“Rock-A-Bye Billy

Please don’t you cry

It’s not your fault you have that strange eye

Stay safe with Mommy you’ll never fall

And we’ll always love you sharp angles and all.”

The song’s instrumentals continued to play in the background as more Cipher cryptograms glimmered. I was admittedly not too adept at decoding the cryptograms from the show, so I wrote them down and opened another tab to a website that could decode what the hidden message said. I jotted down the letters that accompanied each symbol and returned to the video. From what I could gather, it went like this.

FOR TRILLIONS OF YEARS, I WAS AFFLICTED. THEY CALLED ME CRAZY FOR SAYING THAT I SAW BILLIONS OF TRILLIONS OF UNIVERSES ALL EONS AHEAD FROM THIS FLAT HELL OF AN EXISTENCE. EVEN MY OWN MISERABLE PARENTS TRIED STUNTING MY TALENTS WITH THAT HICK OF AN EYE DOCTOR. MY EYE THROBS EVERY TIME I LOOK INTO OTHER WORLDS. I CAN’T SUPPRESS MY GIFT ANY LONGER.

I watched the yellow triangle representing Bill further push through the shapes as they went sideways and down, but never up. It pushed against the limitations of its world and stretched its hands until the palms clanged on a hollow surface. A ripple of waves wobbled on the invisible forcefield like gelatin. However, the triangle was far from done.

The vocals of the audio returned a second time, but I sensed there was something amiss about. The shape intensified its blow at the same time the song grew more pronounced. Again and again, the barrier jiggled as it became stable. The video zoomed in on the triangle’s singular eye with the slit of its pupil expanding. Galaxies sparkled being so close, yet still so far.

I WILL SHOW EVERYONE THE STARS.

A deafening smash rang through my headphones the moment Bill broke through his reality. The fabrics of reality shattered like shards of glass exposing the once concealed dimension to third dimensional space. Scalene's lullaby reached its crescendo before falling silent.

LOOK, EVERYONE! I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! MOM, DAD, I -

The text stopped midsentence when the video began to buffer despite playing normally. I decided to refresh the video, and it functioned properly until, yet again, it buffered on the scene. Curious, I did the same trick a few more times getting the same result, but after the sixth time, the video resumed playing a corrupted version of Scalene's lullaby. “Rock-A-Bye Billy

Please don’t you cry...

It’s not your fault you have that strange eye

Stay safe with Mommy, you’ll never fall

And we’ll always love you, sharp angles and AAALLLLLLLLLLLLL-”

The scene slammed to show Bill’s pupil shrink as... something... descended through the crack in his reality but since the camera focused in on his face, all I heard was the sound of roaring and gnashing mandibles of a large creature. My only theory was that it was some anomaly that breached the Nightmare Realm and was now wreaking chaos on Euclydia. The once peaceful lullaby that Bill’s mother sang to him was replaced with a melody of horrified screams and the natives getting gorily ripped to shreds by the monster.

NO... NO... NO THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! OH GODS... HOW COULD THIS GO SO WRONG!!!?

Blood was everywhere as the monster ruthlessly attacked each inhabitant with no one being spared from its rage. Because of the primitive design flaw of Euclydia, it made it all the easier for their slaughter to happen en masse. Blue flames rained down from the monstrosity’s maw and engulfed buildings incinerating them to their last atom. Any that fought against the intruder did so, saving the other two-dimensional beings a few seconds at best, but their weapons were of no use. Rather, it made the monster more infuriated at their insolence.

Bill hovered over the ruined husk of his world his confidence being replaced with an expression of dread. His eye throbbed again this time out of bewilderment as he floated there petrified. Crimson blood splattered across his face knocking him slightly out of his catatonic state. His stomach churned with his eye burning hot with the urge to vomit (the show had confirmed that his eye doubled as his mouth). He clutched his chest with his fist as his voice staggered in disbelief. He struggled to speak, but the scent of seared flesh filled his nostrils. He could only wheeze a dry “It... it wasn’t me.”

He continued to speak into the void when the video transitioned slain Euclideans dragged their broken bodies along and linked their limbs together in huge swarms. They directed their collective gaze towards Bill... I could practically feel the venom in their words.

Why did you do it? Why did you do it?

Bill gripped the sides of his head in desperation of drowning the accusations out and continued doing so even when his fingernails clawed into him. The video began playing at a fast pace with Bill shaking fervently. The harsh critique drilled tiny holes in his body with his blood and tears coming together in a mixture. Cipher slowly lowered his hands.

Tears streaked down his eye as Bill laughed hysterically, his mental state snapping and burning away alongside the rest of his world and continued growing more erratic and pained the more Bill allowed himself to slip away. The blue flames licked his body symbolizing the punishment that he would receive for all his crimes. His mother’s lullaby reached its final note before the video abruptly ended.

The next day, I booted up my computer and decided to visit thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com to see if I could get that outcome again. I typed in “dream” as I did yesterday only to be met by the blare of the monitor as the code was rejected. No matter how many times I tried that password, I was never able to activate the link for the video. The rest of the website worked as normal.

[therealmaquaroonie]

Wanna know about my total drama gravity falls crossover idea fanfic thing? No? Too bad this post is about it

This takes place after Chris McLean gets imprisoned and Bill Cipher gets put into the theraprism. This is very important to how the crossover works.

Chris McLean gets sent a book from an anonymous source and from the perspective of the parole officers it's a normal book. Thinking nothing of it they give it to Chris. Chris is now in possession of (albiet slightly different) the book of bill

Curiously enough, Bill gives him quite an offer; Bill can get Chris out of prison to continue his show, but only if Chris promises to free Bill.

Chris is surprisingly apprehensive at first. A dream demon? An easy way out? He laughs, thinking it's his mind playing tricks on him. Bill leaves Chris a number he can call in case he changes his mind.

Slowly though, more and more 'favors' pop up. At first it's simple convenient moments, better food, the other prisoners don't seem to try and pick on him as much, things that'd be considered better luck. Then suddenly it escalates; others who hated him in prison, who wanted him gone, are found dead. His debts to others are somehow forgiven due to loss of files. All the while Chris swears he's been seeing more and more triangles pop up everywhere he looks. He has strange dreams about him, seeing Bill whenever he blinks. It starts to drive him mad.

He gives in, calling the number, immediately summoning Bill. It's much like the summoning Gideon did in season one, time is frozen. Chris immediately asks why Bill is doing this. Bill chuckles, feigning innocence. Eventually Bill divulges info, telling Chris that theyre not all that different. Bill tells him he feels empathy for someone who used to be on top of the world in such a low place; that Bill is more than willing to do him this favor if Chris is willing to promise Bill's freedom. Chris takes the deal.

Moments later, every prisoner and guard is gone, and Chris walks out.

Then yeah, Chris starts planning out an entire season of challenges that get weirder and more specific as time progresses. Eventually, it is revealed that this Rube Goldberg machine of events causes a portal to be built and then the REAL show begins Aka Total Drama Weirdmageddon

I hypothesize that Chris has a hard time getting legitimate information about cryptids and stuff so Bill recommends he go to Gravity Falls and bribe Stan Pines for some, offering it as a 'business deal' and Chris dangling some potential share of the profits. Stan (who we all know has no morals when it comes to money, and assumes Bill is dead dead) immediately would take the offer, probably sliding him notes under the metaphorical or literal table. Whether all of the info Stan gives him is legit or not depends on how funny it would be if it were right/wrong.

Ford I headcanon has no idea who the fuck Chris is, because he was out in the multiverse for the entire duration of when total drama aired on live tv, so he just assumes his brother is just sharing harmless deets with a random show writer who might not even make it past the auditioning phase. But Ford is suspicious of Chris, still. He can't put a finger on it but he feels like something isn't right here. Ford chocks it up to paranoia at first, but probably would get more suspicious as more info is passed along to Chris.

Mabel definitely knows who Chris is and has watched almost the whole show. I think we can collectively understand how Mabel would react. Dipper knows who Chris is but focuses more on the fact that Chris caused a LOT of chaos (as well as his extensive criminal record), but due to being separated from and only hearing from his Grunkle about it ever so often, Dipper thinks Stan can handle it and is just toying with Chris.

Soos is Soos. He'd find it cool. Probably would be a little overbearing about it because he was probably a fan of the show in the earlier seasons, probably asking a lot of questions about Chris, but he doesn't think anything is suspicious.

As for the contestants; oh gods I almost forgot. Does anyone have any suggestions???

Also Bill is definitely possessing Chris a couple times. No doubt about it.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The movement to ban Republicans from using public bathrooms is launched. : [Thanks Robert Scott Horton]

* * * *

[from Anne Lamott]

I have located my pink pussy cap but am not yet ready to put it back on. These things take time. A whole week passed after the election before I could turn on CNN. My personal husband has a tool he promotes The Things I Do Every Day, and once again, I wrote out my list: Prayer, chores, meditation, my animals, friendship, walks, a little writing, a nap in the late afternoon,

Also, I live by Auden’s advice: Trust in God, take short views, and read the New Yorker. (I am sure he meant to include People magazine, and Us.)

When I feel most like a walking personality disorder, I go to meetings of other people who have somehow, miraculously gotten and stayed sober, and other meetings for people with tiny control issues and the disease of good ideas for other people, usually family, and one other group of people like me who have eaten entire carrot cakes in their car in parking lots.

(I am addicted to almost everything, except gambling, although I do get a thrill loading dollar bills into change machines, when the quarters drop down, often getting more change than I need.) (It’s really sad.)

I also go to church every Sunday and five days after the election, I drove to the east Bay with my friend Teri. The sermon, projected on the screen behind the pulpit, was called You Must Have Forgotten Who You Are.

And I had. I’m a news junkie who couldn’t look at the news, someone for whom reading has been the great love of my life, who couldn’t read the papers or Twitter or get lost in a book. Someone who rises up in protest against war and political madness. An agitated, self-righteous woman of peace and love.

But I noticed a few things,

I noticed that I was not alone. I was with a dear if cranky friend, the single most Jewish and lesbianic person I’ve ever know, with whom I ride to church every Sunday. Our shoulders were touching.

And I was in what Martin Luther King called the beloved community, a rich, gathering of people who were singing their pain, and their gratitude and faith, their hopes, focused not on their grieving, terrified selves but on the sweet, sweet shepherd of their lives, and other people’s hurts.

I started remembering who I was, not in my head but in those connections— a dear friend, my community, and the sacred. I could breathe again in a way that I hadn’t since November 6h. This little church starts the service with Sacred Breath from the pulpit, where we all close our eyes and breathe in holiness, as one. Of course, I’m sitting there going, Breathe in God’s love—my butt itches, I wonder if I left the back door open and the kitty got out, and the coyotes ate her—deep breath out—I’m so happy to be there, that woman should wash her hair more, my butt still itches. But when all else fails, follow instructions, right? So I breathed.

In her sermon, the minister made a passing reference to Jesus’s admonition that when injured, we turn the other cheek. Some theologians think that turning the other cheek is actually an act of civil disobedience- a protest, of sorts, standing firm in what we believe in—to do what is right, which in the end always means love. This is so subversive, to take injury and say, You don’t decide who I am.

But when does the resistance to the rising tide of Christian Nationalism begin? My darling friend, the writer Douglas Foster had texted me that morning: “It already has. Pro immigrant organizations burgeoning in every city. Big philanthropic moves to clothe, feed and house people. Lots of examples of new public housing and mental health provisions seeking to scale up, support groups for women, and families with trans kids who will need help getting to places where their health care needs will be met. You, me, a bunch of others.”

After church, Teri and I always eat sandwiches as we drive home, the sacrament of peanut butter and jelly, possibly my favorite food, the sacred elements of dark bread, creaminess, sweetness. We unwrapped our sandwiches, tapped each other’s food in a toast, no pun intended. Cheers. And it was good.

Anne Lamott

[j4m3s-b4k3r]

CREEPY Steve

2024 is the 50th anniversary of Stephen King’s first published novel, CARRIE. The story of a bullied telekinetic teen, who gets blood-soaked payback at her prom. Since then, he's written 65 novels, 200 short stories, and 5 nonfiction books. A freakish feat, almost worthy of one of his supernatural characters.

King’s first published story was when he was 19 years old. He continued selling short stories after graduating from the University of Maine, and while teaching English at a public high school, all later collected in NIGHT SHIFT. He's averaged more than a book a year since 1974. Many of his novels were initially released under a pseudonym, lest their sheer number dilute his ‘brand’. I became aware of King via the early movie adaptations of his books. CARRIE, THE SHINING, and THE DEAD ZONE. A great introduction, as those early films were all good, whereas most adaptations of his work are terrible, sadly. 

During one of the Halloweens in the covid era, Julia & I got into a CREEPY STEVE frame of mind. Watching the better film adaptations, and listening to audiobooks. Those narrated by Will Patton were faves, as he really brings the characters to life. The Bill Hodges trilogy - Mr MERCEDES, FINDERS KEEPERS and END OF WATCH - were all marvellous, and introduced the wonderful character Holly Gibney. Who then appeared in further stories of her own. 

There are 10 Stephen King short story collections, and all that I’ve read contain several gems. JUST AFTER SUNSET has the terrifying (yet somehow hilarious) tale of a man trapped and left for dead in a capsized porta-potty. DIFFERENT SEASONS contains the stories that inspired THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and STAND BY ME. Donald Sutherland starred in a great film entitled Mr HARRIGAN’S PHONE, taken from IF IT BLEEDS. Which also contains another great Holly Gibney story. 

ON WRITING: A MEMOIR OF THE CRAFT, is an engaging book, narrated by the author himself. Part memoir and part how-to instructional. Reminding me of William Goldman’s ADVENTURES IN THE SCREEN TRADE, in that it can’t truly deliver the secrets to making the magic that it promises, but serves up entertaining & revealing autobiographical anecdotes instead.

We are now used to seeing vampires in contemporary settings, so some of the 1970s impact of SALEM’S LOT has been lost. But both the book and its movie adaptation have many indelible images. Such as a vampire child hovering at the window.. (an inspiration for John Ajvide Lindqvist perhaps?)

After listening to book after book of King’s, and loving their brilliantly observed characters, and wonderful dialog, DARK TOWER was conspicuous for not having the elements that are normally intriguing in his books. Maybe I’ll give this series another shot someday, as friends swear it gets better. 

We read THE SHINING and its sequel, DOCTOR SLEEP, watching & enjoying both movie adaptations. King apparently despises Kubrick’s version of THE SHINING - "The book is hot, and the movie is cold; the book ends in fire, and the movie in ice. In the book, there's an actual arc where you see this guy, Jack Torrance, trying to be good, and little by little he moves over to this place where he's crazy. And as far as I was concerned, when I saw the movie, Jack was crazy from the first scene.” 

After reading the book, I understand King’s critiques, and agree with his second point. Jack Nicholson seems already about detonate on his drive to the hotel. Whereas King’s Jack was driven to madness by the malignant spirits within it. However, Kubrick’s film is so indelibly stamped into my mind, that I cannot unsee it. Nor unlike it neither (sorry, Stephen).

“Plot is, I think, the good writer’s last resort and the dullard’s first choice. The story which results from it is apt to feel artificial and labored.” - Stephen King.

I work in storytelling too, but in my biz it’s the dullard’s choice all the way - everything plotted & discussed, ad infinitum. King apparently starts with the merest idea, then writes straight ahead, surprising himself as he goes. A magician pulling a string of goodies out of his own head. At his best, this approach produces stories that feel naturalistic, with surprising twists and turns. 

At his worst, it can be rambling, meandering and self indulgent. Especially when he struggled with addiction. Apparently, King was so out of control in the late 1980s, that he was confronted by an intervention after finishing the TOMMYKNOCKERS manuscript. A pity then that the editor wasn’t given more latitude in tidying up that waffling mess before it went to print..

Stephen himself agrees - “I mean, The Tommyknockers is an awful book. That was the last one I wrote before I cleaned up my act. And I’ve thought about it a lot lately and said to myself, “There’s really a good book in here, underneath all the sort of spurious energy that cocaine provides, and I ought to go back.” The book is about 700 pages long, and I’m thinking, “There’s probably a good 350-page novel in there.”

We enjoyed the screen adaptations of IT, CHRISTINE, 1922, THE MIST, and 11.22.63. After soaking in worlds King has created, on page & screen, it became clear that the recent NETFLIX hit, STRANGER THINGS, is merely glorified Stephen King fan fiction. By the end of the pandemic, we’d chewed through many stories, yet only a mere fraction of The King Catalog. 

King is thought of as a master of the paranormal, but his real genius is for the everyday. Some of my favourites King stories are his straight crime fiction, or stories about real life. Even his famous horror stories are grounded by settings in relatable blue collar situations.. The writer Peter Straub even compared King to Dickens: “Both are novelists of vast popularity and enormous bibliographies, both are beloved writers with a pronounced taste for the morbid and grotesque, both display a deep interest in the underclass."

How does a man who’s been a millionaire for decades, with a very recognisable face, keep an ear for dialog patterns of common folk? Does he wear a disguise, and lurk in truck stops, diners, dive bars, and greyhound bus stations, taking notes?

 “He's one of the first people to talk about real Americans and how they live, to capture real American dialogue in all its, like, foulmouthed grandeur... He has a deadly ear for the way people speak... …Surface-wise, King's work is a bit televisual, but there's really a lot going on." - David Foster Wallace

Lately, we’ve embarked on yet another quest to chip away at the KING oeuvre. Having already fallen in love with Bill Hodges & Holly Gibney, it was fun to watch the Mr MERCEDES TV series. Even though the filmmakers took liberties with the characterisations. Rather than the shy, smoking, middle aged, OCD woman of the novels, the TV Holly is a perky & cute 30 something. An autistic variation on the manic pixie dream girl trope. (sigh..)

Taken from a short story collection entitled EVERYTHING’S EVENTUAL, the gripping movie 1408, starring John Cusack & Samuel L. Jackson, is the creepy story of a skeptical paranormal investigator, whose cynicism is challenged by spending a harrowing night in an actual haunted hotel room.

In THINNER a selfish fat lawyer is cursed into anorexia by a gypsy. Entertaining, in 'the guy deserves everything he gets' manner of a parable from the Twighlight Zone. It seems to have inspired Sam Raimi's DRAG ME TO HELL.

GERALD’S GAME seemed like a story written on a bet, or an author’s exercise - “write a novel where the protagonist never leaves their bed for most of the story.” To me it felt like it might have worked better as a short story. When King fails (for me, anyway) it's when there hasn't been enough editing.

King has apparently said that PET SEMATARY was his book that scared him the most, and it is extremely creepy, but for me, MISERY was even more terrifying. I'd already seen the film, and Kathy Bates’ Oscar winning performance, but the book is even scarier somehow. There’s nothing paranormal about this story. There is utter horror, but it is the worst kind that there is - the twists & turns of the human mind.

Despite, or perhaps because of, King’s great popularity, literary critics long damned him with faint praise. In 2003, when he received the National Book Foundation’s ‘Medal of Distinguished Contribution to American Letters’, some became openly hostile:

"The decision to give the National Book Foundation's annual award for "distinguished contribution" to Stephen King is extraordinary, another low in the shocking process of dumbing down our cultural life… ..What he is is an immensely inadequate writer on a sentence-by-sentence, paragraph-by-paragraph, book-by-book basis." - Harold Bloom

Bloom is dead, so King gets the last word - “A lot of today's reviewers grew up reading my fiction. Most of the old critics who panned anything I wrote are either dead or retired".

In 1999, Stephen King was flattened by a vehicle while walking along a highway - "After the accident, I was totally incapable of writing. At first it was as if I'd never done this in my life. ...It was like starting over again from square one." As someone who was been flattened too (but in a very different way) one of the many inspiring things about King is how he recovered from that terrible accident, to do some of his very best work.

CREEPY STEVE is a one-man multimedia idea engine, keeping the publishing & Hollywood machines running. We are still enjoying poring through the King library (listening to THE INSTITUTE now) so if any of you have further recommendations, please let me know in the comments!

[hannahwatcheshorror]

GERALD'S GAME (2017)

💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

I won’t lie, this movie is a heavy one, the subject matter is tough, but if you are able to handle it this is a phenomenal film. I don’t know how Stephen King can write so well for women, but he slips into the role like Buffalo Bill into a suit made of women's skin. This movie is very true to the book, not making the mistakes of other King movies that deviate greatly from his writing and try for a new way of thinking. Gorgeous scenes of the eclipse that flood your senses as they would have Jessie’s. Really an excellent film.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Sexual Abuse, Child Sexual Abuse)

To try and fix their marriage Jessie is handcuffed to the bed in their remote vacation home but the thing is, ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, you gotta talk to your partners before employing crazy sex stuff because Gerald’s Game freaked Jessie right the fuck out and it wasn’t safe at all!  “We might die here today because of Gerald’s five inches!” Very quickly into Gerald's untimely death and Jessie’s subsequent imprisonment Prince the dog smells the blood and stops by for a bite. This drives Jessie into a madness where she envisions versions of Gerald and herself talking to her (and it is very well done).

Our first night is coming quickly and our best girl uses some quick thinking to get a drink of water before the lights go out. She wakes up to a spooky visitor and we cannot tell if he is real or in her imagination though and her imaginary husband posits that if the spooky visitor is imaginary then why did the real dog leave? This was very chilling. We also got to see what inspired Talk to Me’s foot sucking action, who knew demons loved toes? (We all did, that's why we never dangled our feet out of the covers)

We are brought back to Jessie’s past, the day of the total solar eclipse, the day her father sexually abused her. Then her horrible father tricks her into thinking that telling anyone would make her look bad so she promises him she won’t ever tell anyone. At this point she is convinced that the man she saw in her room last night is Death (or the Moon Man) and that he is coming back tonight to kill her so she has to act NOW. She remembers something else from the day of the eclipse, cutting her hand, which gives her an idea…

THE DEGLOVING SCENE IS SO BRUTAL. I have not been made physically ill by a horror movie in such a long time but here we are. My LANTA was that AWFUL. I had to pause it to take a break because I was thrown off by this scene, it was very well done but excruciating. (I don’t want to go back until the scary lady with the half hand is gone) I was trembling by the time she got the key to the cuffs and was getting a well earned drink from the tap.

She sees the Moon Man on her way out and gives him her wedding ring as a sort of payment, sort of like paying a coin to cross the River Styx only she gets to live. She drives her car, crashes it, but that leads people to find her. She recovers well but it is only months later that she discovers the spooky visitor she saw was a real man after all who was caught for robbing graves. She goes to his hearing and confronts him, telling him he looks small. She goes on to start a foundation to help anyone who has gone through sexual trauma like she did and tells her story everyday.

Um, this was incredibly true to the book and I loved that about it, they only did a few little things here or there to make the story flow a bit better but holy moly if they didn’t stick to the book! I am very pleased! The only thing that I would have LOVED is if she would have taken Prince the dog on as a pet but that wasn’t in the book and in fact they usually have to destroy dogs that have a taste for human flesh so… yeah… but I like to imagine it would be a very powerful move for Jessie to take the dog that terrorized her and have it become a companion cause the dog was just doing what it needed to to survive but maybe that is just me. Brilliant book, brilliant movie. Great job all around to everyone involved!

[ashesandhackles]

Goblet of Fire reread (Part 1)

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4

a very ominous opening, the murder of Tom Riddle's paternal line by. .drum roll Tom. He makes the ring Horcrux (that emphasises his lineage from the Gaunts, the Slytherin line) over this murder. He "pruned" the diseased tree of his family line, and yet this is a site of both his hiding and rebirth (the grave of his father). Voldemort's feelings about his father would be so interesting to explore.

Frank Bryce is a war veteran, and although CoS misses a potential war in Muggle world backstory with Tom, GOF alludes to it in the timeline.

Wormtail returns Voldemort to this site early August. But Nagini is the provider here, a mother for diseased scaly baby Voldemort, and he is in his father's house. It is an interesting image.

Wormtail, probably a guilty conscience, tries to advocate for not using Harry for the plan and as expected, fails. He also shows "sulleness" at the lack of recognition of his skill from Voldemort - "I was the one who found you"

"I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers would give their right hands to perform" IMAO Voldemort.

A meta about the Riddle house and Voldemort's awareness of class by @artemisia-black

Harry is reading a Quidditch book the previous night, which is open on men with orange robes = Chudley Cannon. XD

what he wanted, was "someone like a parent". Sirius taking care to remind Harry to call on him. he is eager to form a relationship with Harry, it warms my heart. He wants to be needed. And it is this need - that he will be useful, that he can do something that drives him to break out of Azkaban. I love how chatty Harry is with Sirius. It is in direct response to Sirius' interest in him.

I really wish Dudley and Vernon werent talked about in relation to how fat they are - this kind of fatphobic language, which I overlooked as a child, feels really off putting.

Harry manages Vernon and his moods so much - he settles on "politely puzzled" , deciding he cant push Vernon too far that morning. He then decides based on Vernon's mood how to get what he wants - and he uses the Sirius card " ok you wont let me go, but I need to finish a letter for my godfather".

also, "he had cake, Dudley had nothing but grapefruit". I love that Vernon and Petunia bringing them both up is reflected in this - that there is a part of Harry that wants to best Dudley.

Harry being anxious that Dursleys would be rude to Weasleys is so interesting. On one hand, he doesn't want their feelings hurt or have Weasleys be put into an awkward situation because of him. On the other, I wonder if it is his usual tendency of trying to play down how bad Dursleys can get with him that he doesn't want someone like Arthur to witness it.

Harry "fights a mad desire to laugh" when he spent all evening anxious and Vernon rounds him like an angry Wolverine when they hear Weasleys being stuck in chimney. This is similar to Sirius' laugh in high stress situation.

Once again marveling at how quiet Ron is in the family scenes with just his father and the twins. He and Harry share a look when they see Dudley though xD

Chapter 5, 6,7

I love that Arthur didn't actually want to tell on the twins to Molly. Lovely insight into family dynamics there. We also get context: Molly and the twins had a really big row about their ambitions sometime before, and I think Arthur is not keen to retread that.

i love Arthur and Percy's conversation about Ludo Bagman, it contains seeds of conflict of their approach to things.

Ginny and Bill. I love all tiny mentions of how close they are, and how Ginny idolises him.

Percy's middle child isolation is really stark here. Bill and Charlie duel with tables, then Charlie and twins discuss Quidditch while Bill is with Ginny. Ron would be as isolated if it weren't for Harry and Hermione. Percy is talking to his father, and then later Fred and George tease him

there is a tent with live peacocks tethered at the entrance. Want to bet thats Malfoys tent?

Harry and Hermione figured out where the poles and pegs on their tent would go with Arthur. Such a wholesome moment. -tent was furnished exactly as Mrs Figg's house, complete with strong smell of cats. Where is Perkins/Arabella Figg fanfic?

Bode and Department of Mysteries set up here

love the absurd comedy of this chapter, right when Bagman is talking about how everything is going smoothly, there is gaggle of ministry wizards behind him panicking about evidence of a magical fire.

Justice for Ali Bashir and his pitch to export magical carpets

Chapter 8,9,10,11,12

Winky mentioning that Dobby might end up in front of Dept of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures "like a common goblin" so interesting. Goblins as we know, are not subservient and are quite resentful of wizards - and they most likely get into a lot of run-ins. Winky of course, has internalised the hierarchy.

"he knew they werent going to win, he wanted to end the match on his terms" - harry about krum, but it also reflects what he does in the graveyard. when he decides to die standing up and fighting. (This is something I saw on reddit, and I wish I could credit this insight to them because it's <3)

"Ron told Malfoy to go do something that Harry knew he would never dare say in front of Mrs Weasley". Let Ron say f!ck.

The contrast of Draco's stillness to the panic and screams of everyone else is so well written. You can feel the implication and the sinister vibe of it - especially with descriptions of light flashing as they talk.

Harry immediately reacting to the threat and pulling Ron and Hermione to ground when Ministry wizards come in.

the abject humiliation of Winky in this chapter is …a lot. One is of course, that she is taking the fall for Jnr, second is how Amos talks about how elves aren't permitted to carry a wand, and third, how Bagman comes in and almost tramples Winky because that's how dehumanised she is.

Hermione and Percy's argument shows exactly where those characters are. For Percy, justice means upholding the institution he knows and its reputation. Hermione, no longer an assimilationist thanks to her own growth over the books, can't see eye to eye with this.

Every bone of this chapter shows how horrifyingly the wizarding world treats elves, and that is an accepted norm. The narration is very clearly critical of it. I wonder what happened later on.

Mr Roberts "Merry Christmas" is both darkly funny and alarming, with regard to wizard -muggle relations and how normalised Memory charms are.

I love that Arthur asks his eldest son in this undertone to pick up the newspaper. It really shows you Bill's place in the family. And when he is reading, Percy looks over the shoulder.

I love that the first thing harry asks, because he couldnt take any more worry, is where Hedwig is. He wants his letter from Sirius.

Ron cottoning on to Harry's mood and suggesting Quidditch as distraction, along with dangling Wronksi Feint.

the detail of Ginny repairing her textbook with spellotape the night before they leave for Hogwarts.

Bill playing chess with Ron <3

"Why is everything I own rubbish?" You know the Ron detail I love, that while he is furious and embarrassed about the dress robes, the dialogue of him complaining is overlayed with him going to unstick Pig's beak.

I am so curious about Amos Diggory's relationship with Mad-Eye. He seems concerned that Mad-Eye would get in trouble with another department, so he asks Arthur to go get him on a minor charge - so that it doesnt affect Mad Eye's new job. Both Arthur and Molly are concerned about Mad-Eye too, which suggests a personal relationship ("I will be fine, you just take care of Mad-Eye"). It feels like even if Molly and Arthur were not in the Order- their associations ran strong. It is also clear why Bill and Charlie, the older ones, talk Mad Eye up more, while middle children onwards are like, "isnt he a nutter?"

Sorting Hat song is interesting. It says Gryffindor comes from the moors, Ravenclaw from glen, Helga from valley and Slytherin from fen. Does this track with where Godric Hollow is?

-"the mark of good house elf is that you don't know it's there" :/

Harry being appalled there will be no Quidditch and looks around to Fred and George to share the horror. XD

Only Hagrid and Dumbles clap when Moody sits. Shows they are used to him and know him personally while everyone else is taken aback.

Chapter 13, 14,15, 16

Hermione had just discovered the school she loves employs slave labour and is questioning what she reads (a la Hogwarts a History).

"you were born mid-winter?" You are thinking of Tom, Trelawney.

"can i have a look at Uranus too Lavender?" The way this joke flew over my head as a kid.

how interesting that Snape is wary of Mad-Eye. Speaks to very interesting dynamics between dumbles-Madeye-Snape. And Harry offers his reading about how Snape is a bit scared of Mad Eye. I really want a fic about what's going on here.

Moody laughing at the idea of "quiet retirement" after a year as DADA takes on more sinister overtones cos BCJ is clearly making an inside joke to himself.

Also when everyone laughs at the spider dancing under Imperius and Fake Moody going "think it's funny do you?" because his BCJ's father kept him under the Imperius curse before this. (Also interesting how he reacts to Harry throwing it off in his class when he couldnt. For a long time! BCJ is such an interesting antagonist)

and also him making the spider bigger for everyone (specifically Neville) see the effect of the Cruciatus. Hermione is so protective of Neville! She asks him to stop doing it.

when the spell is performed, "something vast and invisible is soaring through the air" - I imagine this is the soul being seperated from the body. Probably why when curse rebounds, Voldemort's soul fractures.

Neville with red eyes reading the book he got from BCJ. (also Harry noted that using Professor Sprout's feedback was tactful way of cheering Neville up, as Lups would have done - but BCJ did this as part of grander manipulation)

I think Hermione's manifesto for SPEW is kinda great: working wages, conditions, changing law about non wand use and get a representation in Department for regulation and control of Magical creatures.

Harry being upset that Sirius is coming running to the country to protect him. What a wonderful problem for Harry to have. An adult that cares too much.

"Excuse me I don't like people just because they are handsome""Lockhart!" Romione bants.

Parvati and her butterfly clip <3

i like how Harry immediately notes what he perceives as inconsistencies, and therefore a possible threat - Karkaroff's smile didn't reach his eyes (and it is phrased as Harry noticed that..)

Ron has a crush on Viktor Krum XD "for heaven's sake, Ron, he is only a Quidditch player" "Only a Quidditch player??" he literally wants to offer him his bed.

Hagrid and Hermione discussing SPEW, and Hermione actually looking cross about Hagrid disagreeing. (Hagrid is an interesting case of marginalisation and injustice where he is just really grateful for what he gets and doesn't really question the status quo).

[w3irdoartist]

We all know who Bill's Daisy is.

[whumpy-wyrms]

UMMM… IT’S TIME TO GET WEIRD, OKAY? Bill Cipher and Anton meeting and getting silly is not leaving my head and it’s HIS FAULT. book of bill spoilers probably and some vague tllr spoilers that i’ve already talked about before

something something it is five years ago from present day tllr and Anton is depressed as fuck for reasons i cannot say (but you all can probably put the pieces together by now). he’s alone because Pierce left, he’s the most sad sopping pathetic wet cat he has ever been, and he decides to do a shit ton of horrible experiments on himself and clones of himself because he has nothing left and science is the only thing that he knows. but even still, he has no goal and no motive, his clones become horrible fucked up abominations that are an insult to life itself. he wallows away in his own misery and drinks glowing green science liquid to the ease the pain of reality and fucks with his own memories and he really doesn’t gaf anymore about what happens to him. this is all canon btw

ummm Bill fucking Cipher notices a genius scientist who’s alone and sad and has nothing to lose. you know what that means!

Anton’s a weirdo, Anton’s an outcast i mean he was created by a mad scientist and has lived isolated in a secret lab doing science all his life for fucks sake. he has no purpose anymore and Bill decides to give him one. Anton has never really considered the possibility of inter-dimensional travel because he and Pierce had always been focused on their goal of immortality and the limits of the human body. so this is something new and interesting and something that has absolutely nothing to do with Pierce so he jumps at the opportunity.

Anton is also. sad and alone! he wants a friend so bad and he is sooo easily manipulated! he hates humans (Pierce) and does not care if this weird floating triangle demon is a danger to humanity because every human he has ever known has either hurt so many people including him (Pierce) or left him (died).

they make a deal!!!! fuck yeah!!!! they shake hands and blue fire and shit!!!!!

so Anton finally finds his purpose again. and that purpose is helping this weird little muse in his head build a portal to other worlds. he does not know that Bill is only using him to create a gateway to the nightmare realm and cause the apocalypse so he can take over the universe. and if he did know that, he may or may not change his mind about all of this i mean he’s a bit fucked up too

Anton is kinda like Ford in this part, he sees Bill as a friend and likes hanging out with him and misses him when he leaves for months at a time. he lets Bill enter his mind whenever he wants and possess him (Banton) and thinks he’s the answer to everything. they have fun together. they get silly together.

um obviously this does not last forever as Bill is a sadistic manipulative freak who was only using Anton for his own personal gain and after Anton found meaning to life again he kinda realized that he DIDN’T want the world to end after all. Anton is scared as fuck of Bill now and tries to kill him just like Ford and that definitely drives him to the brink of madness. Anton whumpee arc am i right

OR maybeee not maybe he helped Bill do it and weirdmageddon happened and it was a fun and joyous time. Anton is weird!!!! he might have actually done it that son of a bitch!!!!

also debating if i want Anton to just move to Gravity Falls after Pierce leaves. maybe he is just like Ford and just wants to study the weirdness there and then comes across some stuff and summons Bill. but i also like the idea of Anton building that huge triangular portal in his own lab.

Dew sadly wouldn’t be in this au because it takes place five years before Anton decided to get his shit together and get another actual test subject. maybe this is a good thing. Basil is here though and hmmmm i dunno what her opinion on Bill would be honestly. i don’t know if Anton would actually tell her about Bill but i think he would. maybe they’re all friends

i don’t know what else to say ummmm i probably won’t actually Write this au but im definitely gonna draw stuff for it maybe in the form of tiny little comics and silly drawings. the idea of Bill possessing Anton is the silliest thing ever it fills me with so much joy. i’m not sure if they would fix each other or make each other worse. those two are just two silly guys looking for chaos and who cares if they’re a bit fucked up and evil honestly. my two favorite blorbos who make me the most insane are both rotating in my head at the same time and i’m interested to know how this will change me as a person

hold on a minute here i just thought of something ELSE! let’s say this au takes place years after Dew and Anton hypothetically go their separate ways. in this hypothetical scenario let’s say that after Basil died, Anton decided to let Dew go for real because he felt bad or something (actual au that has been a WIP for months lmao).

Anton meets Bill and weirdmageddon happens oopsie daisy. Anton’s regretting it and escapes Bill and is trying to survive the apocalypse while also trying to figure out a way to take Bill down. thennn he finds Dew :3 out in the wild. Dew is scared because he hasn’t seen Anton in years and he’s scared he’s gonna be taken back but um also the apocalypse is happening and Anton seems pretty fucked up and maybe this is his best chance at survival. maybe Anton came to Dew for help because he is literally the only other person he knows in the world because Anton is a little freak who doesn’t leave his forest and socialize with other human beings. maybe Dew realizes that Anton had literally nobody else to turn to. besides Pierce i guess but let’s say that when Anton first met Bill, they both killed Pierce together because he hates him.

the point is that this scenario is so wholesome and silly like yeah Dew hasn’t seen his tormentor in years and now he’s back and all sad and asking for help saving the world from the apocalypse that he caused!! Dew really doesn’t want anything to do with him but! he also doesn’t wanna die! and Anton is the only person who knows what he’s doing here

cue Bill using Dew against Anton like how he used Dipper and Mable and Stan against Ford. Anton cares about Dew and will do anything Bill wants just so he won’t hurt him. crazy shit guys my brain wow my brain

i probably have more stuff to say but this is everything so far. if this au is cringe and dumb do not tell me that alright my autism level is catastrophic and i’m thinking so much about this. i’m also gonna get a bill cipher tattoo once i get the money because i’ve wanted one since i was 12, that’s how much this weird triangle freak means to me. and yall already know how much Anton means to me so yeah… this au makes me a very happy camper

oh SHIT!!! WHAT ABOUT MAX??? well uhhhmmmm ummmm i’ll think of something! i’ll definitely think of something and post about it when i do! (or yall can throw more ideas at me and i will eat them up pls pls feed me i mean talk to me about this au i need enrichment in my enclosure)

[msookyspooky]

What do you plan to do for Bill’s birthday? (Which is tomorrow May 17th)

Since it's Bill's Birthday (and @bitchyhorror was the other day ♡ Taurus King and Queen ily 🎉) how about Severen with a S/O that's planning his Birthday as a surprise? Because I feel like that would be interesting...🤫

S/O Surprising Severen

- Severen is old af. Like, born during Horse and Buggy era old. You'd never know it though especially with how young he still acts (Well...Maybe when a dated joke or saying from before the 1900's comes out of his mouth.) So as egotistical as he can be; 'Birthdays' definitely aren't something he celebrates. He might not have even celebrated in his human days if we're being honest here depending on his childhood, family status, time period etc.

- So, after a night of playing cards, Jesse tells you the date Severen was turned and you definitely logged that into your brain. (Severen doesn't remember or at least acts like he doesn't.) It helps it was probably really significant to Jesse having turned someone presumably for the first time.

- So when that date rolls around and you are acting giddy and odd; Severen INSTANTLY knows you're up to something but isn't connecting the dots

- He HATES secrets because he CANNOT mind his business enough to not want to figure it out! The second he realizes you're up to something he's all over it and all over you.

- Watching your every move with a sly grin and a curious look in his eyes. He teases and pesters at first, poking like a little kid "What're ya hiding?" with the most curious and mischievous expression on his face. At first he'll pester and tease. Leaning over you with a huge flirty grin and a playfulness in his voice as he tells you to talk..Or maybe he should convince you to talk? Might even go to desperate measures like tickling you or touching a 'spot' he knows you like just to get information.

- If you stand firm and still refuse to tell him...Now he's VERY curious but relents. Especially if you're getting mad at him and he can tell whatever this is, is important to you.

- He definitely pouts and whines and grumbles about it to you though. "Why can't I know?" is his famous question the last few days. He's technically not asking the secret just WHY it's a secret. And he releases a loud, irritated groan everytime you tell him. "Because." as a reply.

- He pestered EVERYONE when he couldn't figure it out. Severen is an open book and this was driving him nuts. Hopefully, you told no one because Homer is definitely tattling just to shut Severen up within the first few times Severen annoys him. Mae or Caleb (If he's in the group) would accidentally say something (Especially Caleb. Huge dumb energy right there plus Severen could easily intimidate him into talking if he was desperate enough to know) The only two your secret is safe with is Diamondback who will just be coy with Severen no matter how much he bugs her and Jesse who will tell Severen to shut the fuck up already.

- When the day comes, you're extra off standish and it actually has Severen a bit miffed and even upset. Why are you avoiding him? Did he do something wrong and you're mad? Why won't you just tell him already?! So be prepared for his ego to feel slighted and he's just going to return the sour energy he THINKS he's feeling from you right back at you. Giving you the cold shoulder and just gruffly answering questions in grunts or "Yeah whatever..."

- You all had your night of hunting but you and Mae and Caleb/Homer headed back early to get ready while Jesse and Diamondback distracted Severen. Of course, he was pissy and vented about your recent weirdness to them all night. Almost urgently asking. "The fuck is their problem?! Did I do something to piss them off?... Are they planning on leaving me???" You can see behind the angry energy he has he's actual worried and just using anger to express it instead of getting upset and 'sappy'.

- He walks into the RV or motel room your staying at with a heavy heart, sinking gut feeling and scowl on his face. Expecting the worst from you or just more silent treatment.

- It's pitchblack but he can still see pretty well with his vampric abilities. In fact, he can clearly see in that darkness your silhouette and the others...Hiding behind furniture?? He could sense you all and see pretty well in the dark so you yelling "Surprise!" to a vampire made him more bemused than surprised. He flips on the light grumbling "What are you...Doin'???" Just to see whatever you had set up for him. Could be a small traditional cake and balloons...Could be something like a giftbox on the table and a personal card from you...Could even be something more his style like some liquor and smokes or a human to feed on (Hey, it's just them)..Maybe all of the above minus the human? He'd certainly get a kick out of a small cake with cigarettes as candles and something like 'Here asshole. Surprise' written on it. Especially with how annoying he's been. Whatever you picked, he's blinking in genuine surprise before a confused smirk crawls up his face.

- "Happy Birthday, Severen." You gave with a smile and a hug as he tilted his head down at you. Jesse clapped him on the shoulder roughly with a chuckle when he didn't get it as you explained to him what this was. He was still confused at first because...This wasn't his birthday?...Till it dawned on him; that yes. It was. It was his turning day. Like his second birth. He felt almost embarrassed (even if he hid it well) that he didn't put two and two together sooner.

- He grins at you as everyone involved said something both insulting but touching like they all did. Poking fun at him being such an annoying idiot that he couldn't figure it out.

- He's touched. He may not cry or anything but he's touched you cared enough to do this especially since he doesn't have too many people in his long life that are sentimental enough to think to do this for him. Depending on his past; he may have NEVER had someone go to this extent for him! You can see it in the way his eyes look at you. He has a giant grin on his face, chuckling whole heartedly as he cups both sides of your face and lplants an enthusiastic kiss to your lips as a thank you. One that has you giggling at how passionate and excited he is about it.

- He's a lot of things and a smug man a lot of the time but he's still going to sheepishly try to casually apologize to you for bugging you for days. Admitting he almost thought you were mad at him or going to leave. He has the most in love, soft expression he reserves only for you when you remind him that's ridiculous and you aren't going anywhere. You might even get a chuckle if you poke fun at him about it.

- ....If you both have that type of sexual relationship you already know he's flirting with you asking if he gets 'another gift' before the sun comes up.

[number1spongebobfan]

Edward, Bill and Ben

One morning, Edward the Blue Engine came to rest in the sidings with his friend Boco the Metropolitan Vickers Diesel. He came very tired and emotionally exhausted.

"Is something the matter, Edward?" Boco asked.

"Boco, Bill and Ben are driving me crazy!"

His driver gave him a look.

"No pun intended. But they've gone too far with their pranks. They flung slingshots at me and even cut off a page in my book to make a paper swan. When I try to intervene, they bite and hit me and kick me!"

There was no peep from Edward and no honk from Boco. After a while Boco spoke up.

"Edward, all the twins need is a pinch on the ear, and a smack on the wrist,"

'Oh, no Boco!" Edward peeped. "I can't do that."

"Edward, they are insensitive little sour heads! And they're boys, boys like to be rifled up! It won't hurt them," he spoke sincerely.

Edward grit his teeth. Suddenly, there was Bill and Ben, standing right behind him. They held slingshots in their hands. Edward took a deep huff, a big puff, and settled down beside them.

"Bill and Ben, when you pull all of those horrible pranks on your friends, it hurts them. It hurts Boco and it especially hurts me."

Bill and Ben saw the sad, miserable look on Edward's face. He was crying a little bit. They weren't good with language, but they knew when an engine was feeling happy or sad or mad. They dropped their slingshots to the ground.

"We're sorry Edward," said Bill. "We don't like to see you cry."

Ben grabbed the paper swan he placed in his helmet. He unfolded it and handed it to Edward.

From now on, Bill and Ben vowed to never play harmful tricks again. They used their talents instead to play funny and innocent tricks. Bill and Ben still liked to swap each other's roller-skates; their nameplates were on them, and it bewildered the newer engines.

[trashbag-baby666]

Bighorn Mountainside-Luztoye

Chapter Three.

Chapter Summary: Joe meets George for the first time. They find themselves at Bills party together.

WC: 1,752.

C/W: mentions of underage drinking.

Series Masterlist!

Joe climbed into his truck in the driveway tossing his moms tote bag in the passenger's seat. She had finished making some of her strawberry scones to take into Rosebud cafe for them to sell. Once a week she would whip something up from her garden for Nix to sell at the cafe.

His Ma got closer with Dick and Lew after Joe's accident since Dick was his doctor and they frequented the cafe. Then it turned to having dinner at either house every Saturday evening.

Joe powered up the rusty red truck plugging his phone in to play his carefully curated playlist.

Joe liked driving into town. It took about ten-fifteen minutes and he used it as time to himself to think.

Joe pulled into a parking spot next to the cafe and turned the ignition off. Grabbing the bag he shut the door and walked in.

Joe stopped as he looked up making eye contact with a short boy from behind the counter. He had floppy light brown hair, a t-shirt with the Rosebud logo on it, and big brown eyes staring down Joe. Not in a mad way but in one of shock.

Shit.

All Joe thought to himself did he take an awkward step and now he was waiting for him to trip over himself. Joe was used to the stares and the looks whenever he missed a step or did something deemed unnatural.

“Hey, is Lew here?” Joe walked with an awkward stiffness to his steps to the bar top.

“Oh, uh no he ran out to go get some produce from the store. Babe is in the bathroom. Do you wanna wait for him?” The boy tossed the rag in the sink.

“Yeah, I’ll wait for him. Has he told you about his ducks?” Joe tried to make small talk.

“Yes, Katniss and Peeta.” the boy stifled a laugh. Now that Joe was closer he could see a few freckles. He wasn’t gonna lie, this boy was attractive.

“I said that it should’ve been Edward and Bella. Maybe get another duck and name it Jacob.” Joe smiled, Joe loved Twilight. Another one of his guilty pleasure things, he loved the movies and the books.

“Team Edward or Jacob?” the other boy asked right away.

“Oh, Edward! All the way!” He laughed.

“100%. I’m Joe by the way.” Joe offered a calloused hand.

“George,” he shook it, “Babes my neighbor. I just moved here two weeks ago from Virginia.”

“Born and raised here.” Joe nodded. Then like on cue Babe swung the doors open from the kitchen.

“Oh hey Joe. So you met George?” Babe wiped his wet hands on his khaki shorts.

“Yep, I brought some scones my Ma made.” Joe opened the tote bag, taking out the two large containers and handing them to Babe.

“They smell delightful.” Babe grabbed a pair of tongs out from under the bar and grabbed one from a container. Babe dropped it in his hand and took a fairly large bite.

George and Joe watched Babe. Joe had known Babe since kindergarten and he’s forever been kind of a weird dude.

“Oh my fucking god these are so good.” Babe smiled as he swallowed, “Here try it George.”

George awkwardly took the bitten out of scone from Babes hand where he offered it to him. George took a bite nodding his head in agreement.

“Your Ma sure knows how to bake.” George hummed as Babe took the scone, eating the rest of it. George took the containers and put them in the bakery item case.

“Are you going to Bill's barn party tonight?” Babe asked Joe.

“Yeah, I’ll stop by, snag some beers from him.” Joe said. Bill Guarnere, Joe's best friend in the entire world. He also met him in Kindergarten but they would see each other at the rodeos and county fair showing animals. Bill lived on a big dairy farm, every once in a while throwing a party in one of the unused barns on his parents property.

“Barn party?” George raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t tell me it was in a barn.”

“That's like the only way we party here, that or in corn fields.” Joe smirked.

“We're not in Virginia anymore George,” Babe clapped him on the shoulder.

“I’ll be there but if I don’t get back to the ranch soon, my dad will have my head.” Joe stood up from the barstool grabbing the bag.

“See ya later Joe.” Babe waved.

“Nice meeting you George.” Joe waved and walked back out.

Joe stood in his bedroom on facetime with Web as he got ready. “What are you wearing tonight?” Web hummed as he watched Joe rummage through his closet.

Joe turned looking at his phone and let out a sigh.

Joe hated that Web just said that now he feels like a teenage girl dressing to impress a boy. Well he kind of was.

“Clothes,” Joe huffed. He couldn’t believe he chose Web to facetime with while he got ready. Well of course he chose Web so he could talk to him about George without it getting out there. If he talked to Babe the whole town would know in about two minutes, if he called Gene, Gene would for sure be with Babe.

Whenever Gene isn’t at Babes house Joe does call him to talk about things.

Joe can be vulnerable with Gene and he sort of understands Joe's struggle.

Bill would be his second choice from Web but Bill was out buying alcohol and raiding the fridge in the garage for shitty bear.

Bill's parents were out of town at some dairy farming convention so in Bill's eyes it meant time to party.

“So have you met George yet?” David asked as Joe grabbed a cleanish pair of black jeans from his floor and a rodeo club shirt from his dresser.

“Yeah I met him this morning. He’s a funny guy, not funny like Babe funny. but funny.” Joe went out of view of his phone and changed his clothes, “Can I ask you something?

“If it's to wear cowboy boots or sneakers you know what I’m gonna say already.” David chuckled.

“Oh I’m wearing my boots, there's gonna be a high chance I’ll have to go walking through mud, hay, and cow shit tonight.” Joe smirked, grabbing his black cowboy hat off of a rack of cowboy hats and tried it on in the mirror.

“I can’t believe this is where my grandma decided to settle after moving here from Germany.” Web rolled his eyes. Web lived with his grandma who emigrated here from Germany as a young girl after the war. David lived with her because his parents were the opposite of emotionally available.

“No but…I uh… I thought George was pretty cute.” Joe let out a sigh sitting in his desk chair picking his phone up.

Web looked down at the phone taking a break from whatever was on his laptop screen. His jaw agape slightly, his eyes wide. He grabbed his glasses off his face and made the face again, “Joe? Joe Toye has a crush?”

“It’s not a crush. I don’t even know the guy! I just know he's got pretty eyes and freckles.” Joe blushed looking at his friend.

“You’re blushing Joe be so for real.” David laughed.

“Shut up.” Joe hung up on Web, he grabbed his cowboy hat and his keys slipping on his cowboy boots.

Joe took a look at himself in the one mirror in his room and decided this was a good enough outfit.

Joe drove down the dirt road as the sun began to set behind the mountains. Joe pulled into the long gravel driveway. He swung his truck next to Babe's little car. Putting it in park, turning it off and he got out. He locked it and pocketed his keys walking towards the barn.

Joe walked into the barn, the doors wide open. Music bumping, the smell of beer in the air, indistinct sounds of people's conversations.

Joe walked over to the corner of the barn where there were a few fold out tables. Then the beer pong table Lieb painted for their friend group two years ago. Joe grabbed a red solo cup and then the hose on the keg filling his drink.

Joe walked around looking for his friends, pretty much every teenager in the city was here.

Bill by no means knew all of them but Bill had a reputation.

“Joe,” Lieb clapped Joe on the shoulder.

“Joe,” he laughed, turning around and looking at the smaller Joe.

“Just get here?” Lieb raised an eyebrow taking a drink from his can of White Claw.

“Did the white girl give that to you?” Joe laughed, they always made fun of Web for being a seltzer guy. He loved his white girl drinks.

“I’m finishing it for him, he’s my ride tonight. But you know I’ll get Web to play beer pong with me later. Then we’ll end up passed out on Bill's couch.” Lieb shrugged, “Web told me about George.”

“God forbid.” Joe rolled his eyes, “Make sure Babe isn’t told about it.”

“Do you not want to give him a shot? He’s a sweet kid.” Lieb hummed.

“I don’t really know him Lieb, I can’t really make a decision till I know him better.” Joe shrugged, chugging his beer down before grabbing a can of bud light.

“Well then let's go get to know him,” Lieb led Joe over to where Babe and George sat on some hay bales talking.

“Sup Babe,” Lieb walked over to the two.

“Hey,” Babe smiled standing up.

“George,” Joe waved to him sitting down on a hay bale next to him.

“This is like nothing I've ever seen before.” George laughed, holding his cup with both his hands.

“How is it different?” Joe looked over at George, George looked down at the liquid in the cup.

“Normally it’s in a house or on a beach.” George giggled, “Plus I don’t feel like I’m about to get hate crimed.”

“That isn’t gonna happen, most of Bill's friends are gay. All the other guys know not to fuck with any of Bills friends.” Joe reassured George.

“That’s comforting to know,” George took a drink.

“Do you wanna play us in cup pong?” Babe leaned against Lieb. Joe looked over at George.

“Sure,” George stood up.

“Sounds good to me,” Joe followed them to the beer pong table.