#the book is really interesting but tbh this wasnt the first time i was like i feel like youre ignoring

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

i am unwellll god this show is killing me

[bisexualdinahlance]

Reading a book on bird vs human evolution and the book went on a bizarre tangent in the child rearing section about how if "free love, polyamory, or cheating" were to become normalized biologically our society would break down men wouldn't be able to handle being "taken advantage of by the other man and cheating partner". It was all just phrased very oddly and also his entire argument seemed to hinge on the fact that while plenty of cultures had families living communally/children being raised more communally, that that wasn't our natural biological imperative or something it was just very strange!

[moonsaver]

ok this is not really a request, but what would yan!dan heng be like? i barely see any yan!dan heng content and thats probably because I don't even know how he would behave. Would he silently obsess over you? Would he not let you leave the archives, taking his life when he was young as an example, giving you books as your only respite? Would the astral express crew be in on it?

I feel like yan!dan heng would be like a pathetic wet cat about it, acting unfeelingly but then begs and begs for your affection in private, guilt tripping you without noticing and then finally giving up and taking what he wants whether you like it or not.

Hello anon!

I understand your frustration, and tbh even i struggle a bit with characterizing yan!dan heng, so i havent been able to push out any of his content.

He's not an exact favorite either, so i wasnt at all bothered by the lack of content but i understand you (sunday enjoyer here).

Honestly, i think one of the major reasons its hard to character yan!dan heng is kind of because hes actually a bit of a mellow character who's pretty cozy. Im not thorough with his backstory but it seems like he's always trying to be on the down-low, and never do things that warrant attention. Yan!dan heng would, as a result, not be so different in my opinion. However, a few of his aspects do seem to be interesting as a result.

As far as i know of his character, yan!dan heng would probably be extremely secretive as a result,kind of the stalker-ish type, who gets insecure easily and has to constantly keep grounding himself about you. But whenever you're within the vicinity, his patience wears thin. It grows dreadful to handle over time.

If his obsession gets strong enough, he'll only frequent his darling more and more through mysterious means, the kind that makes his darling more paranoid and as a result, seek out refuge in him about their "stalker", not realizing who they're actually talking to. Yan!dan heng would probably gauge out how much info his darling has about their "stalker", and if it's too much, he adapts and finds more hidden and unnoticeable means. The only time i can see him officially tie down his darling is if they take the initiative to investigate what's been going on and find out his entire archives worth of information on darling, and dan heng being confronted by it. In a bit of a panic, he'd take countermeasure and his patience finally snaps.

Another flip side of him is what you mentioned. Depending on how far within yan!dan heng's grasp you're in, he would be very starved for any form of affection. He's been constantly leaving behind everything, running away from things, to the point he probably seldom feels like anything in his life is permanent. So when darling comes along, yan!dan heng is so so desperate, he won't show it at first because he'll try to resist and give darling space, but it just constantly snaps taut strings inside of him, and he can't help but cling onto you. You'll thrash and scream and yell at him but he's so eerily quiet, gripping you and crushing you against his chest. He feels so guilty about it, but he's just so lonely. He does guilt trip you sometimes, and gets you to quiet down, but who knows how often that'll last? He can't get himself to "punish" you often either, so he just gives you strict warnings and scoldings from time to time, but then his insecurities get the best of him, and he can't help but cling to you even in your sleep, afraid you'll slip away like everything. He has self-doubt very often, and his main way would be just to seek you out, and force himself onto you in any physical form of affection, even if you grumble and protest about it.

In any case, i feel yan!dan heng would be a luckily tolerable yandere.

[thestarsloth]

I believe it is time for me to talk about piper again

Something i really dont like about this fandom is that we were quick to hate her even though the main reason wasnt her character

People generally hate her because of her relationship with drew. The problem here though is not piper, but the way drew was portrayed by the author. Drew was a flat character, and to me she was a lot like Nancy Bobofit (who didnt appear a lot tbh). In my opinion, if we knew drew a bit more, hers and Piper's fight would be much more interesting.

They also hate her because she ONCE said that the aphrodite cabin was shallow. We all know how rick has treated the aphrodite kids, right? Percy has said many things like that about them but noones hating on him. I know that is not an excuse but see the difference on how we treat the white boy?

Another reason is that she is not as traumatized as the others (??whywouldthatbeareason??) and people say she complains a lot, which, to be honest, i did not see in the books.

To start with, she was most of the time neglected by her dad who didnt understand her needs and never paid attention to her (to the point she had to steal a freaking car thank you very much). We' ve seen she was treated really bad from the kids in her school (racist comments and also comments about her family) and lets not talk about how bullying affects teenage kids. Lets just say that we all sympathized with percy when he was bullied and changed schools all the time but noone talks about the fact that piper was also bullied (and not by having pb&j thrown at her, which is also bad but...)

People also say that she is a "pick me" and "not like other girls". First of all, shaming her because she doesnt wear makeup or isnt stereotypically "girly" is more misogynistic than anything you say piper did.

She has never ever said anything that implies shes doing so for boys. Sje genuinly didnt like those things and people straight up attacked her for being a teenage girl with MASSIVE OTHER PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH.

She did not shame drew for liking makeup as far as i remember, she only called the cabin shallow because they treated her EXACTLY like her bullies.

Also she "only talks about jason" and is "possesive". Hmhm. Reminds you of anything? OH! ANNABETH! But the white blond girl was excused because she was a "teenager", yet ive never seen anyone defend PIPER'S mistakes with that excuse, even if it is the truest thing for both her and Annabeth.

I have nothing against percy and annabeth, or people who headcanon piper as girly, but we should remember that canon piper was a teenage girl and support her just like we do with annabeth.

Thanks for reading my rant and i would love to hear opinions. I hope i didnt sound too agressive defending a fictional character hehe.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

Hello! You don't really strike me as someone who reads fanfictions, but do you have any recommendations by any chance? I've been trying to find Ranchers fics written more in character.

Tbh by "in character" I just mean something resembling the dynamic you potray them as having. I really like your interpretation and I was wondering if you ever found anything that fit that somewhat.

If not then I would also gladly take any actual books that you've enjoyed!!

i wouldnt call my rancher interpretation "in character" but if you want fanworks that feel similar to how i imagine them/interpretations that i like, then i would recommend you the gundam birdie series and a secret third thing by YacintheMorning (which i realize now were written by the same person! cool), as well as tangotek evil inconporated by onawhimsicot (which is probably also one of my favourite takes on this whole hotguy/superhero au thing when it comes to Jimmy and Tango. I like when they are lame)

As for books i like: they will probably not be of interest to you, because i tend to only read research-related books nowdays ... biographies and different kind of history and polish ethnography books, mostly. That being said i havent read an actual book that wasnt for school in a few months (a bit embarrasing). All ive been doing for the past few months is drawing constantly in my free time. But from fiction i enjoyed: Mary Shelleys "Frankenstein" and Christies "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd" are the first ones that come to mind. I like murder mysteries the most i think. I also remember i enjoyed Uładzimir Niaklajeus fictionalized "Automat z wodą gazowaną z syropem lub bez", but i should probably re read that soon and see what i think now. Not sure if it would count as a book but i generally like Mickiewiczs "Ballads and Romances" (Świteź and Świtezianka being my favourite ballads of all time, probably) ... some of the only of Mickiewiczs works i actually liked

Does not count as a book but i will forever be annoying about them: Naoki Urasawas "Monster" and Ryoko Kuis "Dungeon meshi" mangas are some of my favourite works of fiction of all time and i highly recommend reading them if you have the time

I also finally got my hands (not really; i had to pirate it) on "King Stakh's Wild Hunt" by Uładzimir Karatkevič... it was the only book of his i could find, and only with an english translation. The language barrier really is hard on me here but i desperately need Karatkevičs books for my own story. So maybe i will share my thoughts once i sit down to read it

[kazperthegh0st]

RaTing TMA season 1 episodes

001: Angler Fish, the cigarette and disappearance one. Not very memorable. 5/10

002: Do Not Open, the will power this one man contains is greater than God, i swear. I probably would have opened that coffin tbh. 10/10

003: Across the Street, to be Grahm or Not to be Grahm, that is the question. Eating paper is not really my thing but you do you. 8/10

004: Page Turner, kinda boring to me but it introduces important people. 4/10

005: Thrown Away, it reminds me of that one short FNAF story where the girl finds her real body cut up in garbage bags. I liked this episode. 9/10

006: Squirm, I have no memory of this episode. 2/10

007: The Piper, All i remember is rats, a dead dude in a dumb ditch, and The Great War. It was a good read tho. 4/10

008: Burned Out, There was a Spooky Tree, an apple, and a box ( i think it had a necklace in it??). There is also the religious dude— i think hes also the jesuit dude that killed two people in a later episode but i could be wrong. 5/10

009: A Fathers Love, this one was so sad to me ngl. I have two questions: What happened to the mother (i know she died but theres gotta be more)? and also whats the necklace all about ( i might be crazy but wasn’t it in the box in burned out?)? I do think the dad is somehow innocent, like he was possessed or smth. 10/10

010: Vampire Killer, this was a cool, fun episode and I enjoyed the different approach to Vampires. 9/10

011: Dreamer, We hear some new stuff about what happened to Jon’s predecessor, outside of that its an ok episode. Elias is mentioned. 5/10

012: First Aid, don’t remember this episode at all but i looked at the episode tag on here and Gerry is in it so on principle it gets a 5/10

013: Alone, my mind is so blank about this episode. Jon was nice tho. 2/10

014: Piecemeal, i don’t remember it well but Tumblr tells me it was good. 5/10

015: Lost Johns’ Cave, this reminded me of those tiktok videos about idiots who get stuck in caves. But at the same time this episode was deeply unsettling and sad. 10/10

016: Arachnophobia, proof that spiders do not die no matter what you do. Lazy ass cat ( Major Tom, great name, unintended David Bowie reference ) 8/10

***All previous thoughts were made well after the episodes were read so i could be wrong or forgetful regarding some details.***Future thoughts will be made immediately after, or the same day as reading the episodes.***

017: The Boneturners Tale, more of the weird books. I think there was arson in this episode (?) 5/10

018: The Man Upstairs, This one was absolutely disgusting (in a good way?!?!) it made me want to throw up but at the same time was sooo cool. 8/10

019: Confession and 020: Desecrated Host, putting these two together. Why is there such a strong theme of cannibalism and removal of body parts in this podcast? It was really interesting and well written. 8/10

021: Freefall, not that interesting to me ngl. It wasnt bad tho 5/10

022: Colony, MARTIN!!! A real character! He is a sweet innocent baby who can do no wrong. The episode itself was super unsettling. Who is the woman again tho?

023: Schwartzwald, this was boring, sorry. I know i should have found it more interesting cause its a letter for Jonah Magnus but it just wasn’t appealing to me. 2/10

024: Strange Music, I love the aesthetic of Pipe Organs, always have. (Why is it now in the institute?!?!) the creepy dolls and the circus clowns were cool. I love that the movers came back again, kinda odd but thats expected. 10/10

025: Growing Dark, not too memorable but there is now another missing person. (Yay). 4/10

026: A Distortion, SASHA!!! Another Real Character! Nothing had better happen to Jon or Martin or else. I love them too much. Micheal seems interesting too. 8/10

027: A Sturdy Lock, the first episode I listened to while reading the transcript. Is there or is there not a lock on that door? Bro should invest in a pet tho. Average episode but still good. 7/10

028: Skin Tight, wasn’t Cambridge Military Hospital in another episode? Also who is the archivist? The voice ( im listening and reading ) is different from Jon’s and is not female so not Gertrude. Sarah Baldwin is also a familiar name. Skin peeling. Lovely. (Sarcasm) 10/10

029: Cheating Death, reminds me of 007. I think its neat that the person making the statement had the Institute write it for him. This was a cool story. I like how much of it was a folktale and then it took a turn. 10/10

030: The killing floor, oh the delights of the meat industry. What was up with Tom Haan tho? Why did he kill himself? Why is there a living meat pile?!?! 10/10

Shortly after listening to that episode i made steak. While making steak i listened to the next two.

031: First Hunt, I kept thinking of that “Run Rabbit” song. Im glad humans dont have natural predators. But as an American (unfortunately) as soon as I heard where this was and the guy made note of the whistling… I knew he was screwed. Jon is so dissmissive tho. First episode where i only listened to it. 10/10

I have no idea why the previous story made me decide to cook steak.

032: Hive, this wasn’t much of a real statement but proof that Jane is crazy. It was just “insects do be buzzing” the noises in the background were upsetting. (Listened only while cooking a steak) 10/10

033: Boatswain’s Call, We meet Peter Lukas ( who may or may not be Elias’s Husband? I saw it in a Tiktok ) and I think it was slightly unsettling how they all loaded into the lifeboat. Did they vote the dude out or something? (Read and listened) 8/10

034: Anatomy Class, body snatchers named John/Jane Doe traumatize a professor. I love how they’re all trying to pump their hearts to figure out how they’re supposed to beat. Im a big fan of anatomical sciences. (Read only) 10/10

035: Old Passages, It’s Gerry on the hunt for Leitners books! Another dead person and some secret passages. What happened to Jon. Why did the Delivery Duo Dudes show up with a package for him??? (Read only) 10/10

036: Taken Ill, the episode itself was boring to me but the end was interesting. Why is there a lighter, that i assume has connections to The Web? What does Elias want with it? (Read only) 7/10

037: Burnt Offering, boring. Sorry. Could the wicca and voodoo stuff in the woods be related to Jane? (Read only) 5/10

038: Lost and Found, This was Sad. Important things go missing, more so they cease to exist, until eventually its the Husband. Jons fear of spiders returns. And now for the end of Season 1. (Read only) 10/10

039: Infestation, I did find it funny when Jon called himself an idiot. Martin just needs to let my boy Jon be in (SEVERE) denial. Jon is being watched (the eye!) Tim is so excited that he almost died. Its odd. Oooh its Not Sasha! “Archivist.” “Shit.” (I listened to it and then read the transcript) 9/10

040: Human Remains, what did Not Sasha do with the tape… I do know what happened to Gertrude so Elias acting the way he does in this scene is funny. (I listened to it then read the transcript) 9/10

Really good podcast. I liked it.

— are the secret passages from 038 connected in anyway to the tunnels around the archives?

— what was it that got sasha in the end and is real sasha dead?

— does gerard start to pop up more often? As an actual cast member?

— what was Jane looking for in the written files?

[stitchwraith-stingers]

Saw you're family tree post and i love how fleshed how they are! Though i saw you say that that Angela had her own godparent, could you perhaps elaborate on that?

HIIII IM SO GLAD U ASKED... this is one of my fave hcs and im happy i could talk abt it

when she was younger, angela was not in a good headspace mentally, she was extremely depressed to put it lightly, she was also really anxious and when she was 10 she recieved cirrus swiftsky as a godparent, the best i could describe him was like a grandfather to her and looked sort-of fancy, he had a mustache and everything, this wasnt his first rodeo with a kid, hes been doing this for a good few fairy years

angela, altough she used escapism often by reading kids books, she wasnt very "imaginitive" as she describes herself, so her wishes werent anything extreme, and if anything just mostly talked to cirrus about things that were bothering to her, and he wasnt expecting to become a defacto therapist to this kid, he gave her life advice he vaugely remembered while studying to be a godparent (they take mandatory childrens psychology lessons) and gestured her over to try journaling for her thoughts

he often disguised himself as a orange butterfly when outdoors with her (to school, to the park etc), and at home would usually be their pet ferret, who was called tom by her parents

they lasted longer then the usual godparent-godkid duo, 2 years infact, however she was expected to leave him when she was 14 as she was still concidered not yet fully happy, she had accidently blurted it out when her brother walked in on her and she panicked, thus wiping their memories

godparents, if taken away before their kid has been properly reverted to being happy, arent allowed to visit them again, and godkids wont be given another one unless they are in desperate need of them, like if something else drastic happened, even if they are still miserable, this is a big countroversy in the godparenting industry (which i could go on about tbh)

angela, who used cirrus as an anchor, was EXTREMELY distraught, and if anything made her feel worse by the fact she couldnt remember why (codependancy problems, where have i heard that before!) and after afew weeks of refusing to leave her room she decided to go to the library as a way to slowly start getting back to it and she had picked up a psychology book, and thats where she started her psychology interest, along with vaugely remembering her doing jounraling, so she continued and it spiraled into how she is today

though she had picked up psychology books for older people, so she convinced herself she was more "mature" for her age, and even today she hasnt gotten the hang of how 10 year olds should actually work ("lets leave her untill shes ready to come to us" go talk to ur daughter?)

her parents - heather and felix campbell - werent horrible at all, just in the dark about what her kid was doing since she didnt like to share anything she liked with them at all, if anything they were slightly more "loose" if that makes sense, but because she was just anxious she worried that theyd get mad which they often didnt, if that makes sense

she never really had any friends in her life, as she decided she'd focus on that after shes done with her studies, she wasnt really a social outcast, if anything a little socially awkward, shes only had 1 friend during high school and her social life kicked off more in collage, everyone had respected her but she was more of a "i wont talk unless you talk" type of deal, on top of her grades because it gave her something to do in her free time (and she just enjoyed writing essays in general), and she had gotten much much better where she was now! only problem was that she was still anxious about presenting projects

when she was with postpartum depression after hazel was born she couldnt help but feel like she was missing a puzzle piece, yknow how it feels when you know youve forgotten something, but you dont know what? thats how she felt, thankfully she had gotten treatment quickly

hazel does get her more anxious side from her, angela is a good parent and has taught her children to communicate with eachother unlike how she did with hiding it, though she (unknowingly) struggles with properly understanding her 10 year old and being so focused on her work she cant sit down and 'think outside the box' as shes said

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I finally read again today, chapters 34-39 this time

Usually I read these books in german while on the bus but today I forgot my book, but fortunately, I had some time to go to the library and they had it, but only in english. And since I was sitting at a table with my phone, I was able to take notes live as I read, and I'd like to share those with you rather than doing what I usually do and trying to sum up all of my thoughts a few hours later

Chapter 35:

the fact that NO ONE in the summer court recognized Feyre is absolutely ridiculous, it really is like her accomplishments from the first just vanished, no wonder so many people recommend just skipping ahead to MAF i bet that would make the reading experience wayyyyy less frustrating

shes cursing herself from being so out of shape despite Cassian's 'lessons' and that reminds me, at the start of ACOMAF her internal monologue and other characters kept remarking on how thin and frail she had become and I dont think its come up since she started staying at the NC permanently, great mental health rep girlie

"I let instinct, no doubt granted from Rhys, guide me forward." Come onnnnnnnn, can Feyre not be cool on her own for one (1) moment

"Amarathan did not break that kindness [from before UTM]." no, but Rhys sure did

Once again, Feyre is horrified at her violating Tarquin's mind, rightfully so, and yet she continues to hang out with His Majesty, The King of Violating Minds

Rhys tells Feyre that she "thinks like an Illyrian", which is very strange to me given that Illyrian women are literally not allowed to do anything other than housework and Illyrian men are seemingly all violent misogynists whom Rhys hates

Chapter 36:

"I'd bet they wouldn't have handed over that book" but you didnt ask them though??? Like, they couldve just told Tarquin about their plans, he seems reasonable enough, even if Cresseida and Varian dont agree, he as high lord should be able to override their opinions easily and if that doesnt work out THEN you can go ahead and steal it. Sure, maybe they wouldve trippled security and/or thrown them out of the SC but that should hardly be an obstacle for The Most Powerful Highlord In The History Of Prythian and his eldritch girl best friend

Okay, so Rhysand did pack illyrian leathers for her which is nice, but still, I see no reason why Feyre had to wear dresses for this (and be okay with wearkng dresses when she absolutely wasnt at the start of ACOMAF) when the NC clearly has more feminine fashion involving pants

Theres lead in this vaguely medieval fantasy world?? And theyve had for like centuries?? That seems weird to me I'll have to look into that i think

Okay, so Feyre shapeshifted into Tarquin and she says that she didnt let any part of herself that wasnt Tarquin shine through while she opened the books locks, but those shapeshifting powers are Tamlin's though. That has some very interesting implications but tbh idk if I trust sjm to have thought about it that much

"I am summer; I am sea and sun and green things" that just sounds kinda silly, also I feel like it shouldve been "I am sea and sun and golden sand" given the beach vibes that the Summer Court has

Chapter 37:

note to self: lookup what Leshon Hakodesh is exactly bc theres no way its not some random mythological term that sjm is just dropping into her world [edit: its just the jewish term for 'the Holy Tongue', im not gonna question the implications of that any more than im gonna question the existence of Nyx as a minor goddess or something in this world]

Rhysand doesnt tells anyone jackshit and Cassian is ready to stab Amren if she dares go against him, why are these jokers friends again?

Chapter 38:

granted, its been a while since I read this book and my memory isnt the best, but why exactly does Rhysand need to keep the 'why' of their mission secret? wasnt their mission just to find the cauldron before Hybern does and prevent a war with prythian and the human world?? I guess maybe Rhys doesnt wanna reveal his secret goodness or whatever, but he couldve just had Feyre act as some kind of emissary to the rest of Prythian, like, just have her pretend this is information she found out by herself at the Night Court and have her relay it to the other courts, Feyre has saved them before they have no reason not to listen to her

"'I think Tarquin wanted to be my friend.'" question, is Tarquin/Rhys a thing? Obviously Rhys doesnt deserve Tarquin but idk, there could be something there I think. they have some nice aesthetic contrasts

why would Feyre say stuff like "mother above" when thats not a deity she believed in for most of her life? Like, I already talked about how Feyre clearly had the impulse to pray in ACOTAR she just didnt do it because the names of the mortal gods have been long forgotten, but idk, I feel like her starting to embrace fae religion warrants more exploration. and fae religion in general warrants more exploration tbh

"'Its not the end of the world if you [make a mistake] every now and then'" hello??? Feyre, he made you steal from a man that has been nothing but kind to you for no reason and now theres a bounty on your heads!! And lets not forget that Rhys, Amren and Feyre are all highranking politicians in the night court, youre lucky the SC is too occupied with rebuilding itself to declare war on your asses

I keep saying this, its so infuriating how well Feyre and Rhysand already get along when theyve spent like, 2 or maybe 3 months if Im being very generous, worth of time together aside from their time UTM

god Feysand flirting is the most straight bullshit to ever straight bullshit I feel like im gonna die

Shes thinking about buying RED "lacy things" when that was meant to be a trigger for her, did no one edit this

"a sensual male voice chuckled with midnight laughter" istg the prose is so much worse in english

Feyre having to make herself focus to not look at Rhysand dick after he just had a horrible nightmare has the same energy as Bryce Crescent City thinking about how hot and muscular Hunt is while he just completely shut down because he had to kill someone

"The hole in my chest that was slowly starting to heal over" can you BE more unsubtle

Chapter 39:

Rhysand tattooing the symbol of the nightcourt onto both his knees because he "will bow for no one and nothing but his crown" is actually so funny, i wish he did more cringefail bullshit like that

I think out of all the inner circle relationships, I like Amren and Feyre the best so far and I absolutely do not believe that Cassian cares about Amren at all, much less sees her as family, that guy would kill her in a heartbeat if he could

forgive my aromanticness, but I really dont like the thing that Amren and Varian have going on, cant there be ONE character that doesnt have some stupid romance subplot in this world

Oh, so Mor telling Feyre very little of any specific plans they have is fine, but if someone from the spring court does it theyre the worst person ever

"[Cassian told me] that my family was full of bossy, know-it-all females" oh but hes sooooo much better than all those other illyrians who are all sexist brutes

Why are Beron and Helion the only ones with a last name

"[Strolling through Velaris with Mor] was perhaps my favorite, and the female certainly excelled at finding ways to spend money" are you fucking kidding me, are there actually people who consider a book with this kind of blatant 'women b shopping' bullshit to be feminist?

"'I wanted to protect my people, change the perceptions of the Illyrians, and eliminate the corruption that plagued the land'" wow Rhys and youve done such a good job at all of those things in the 500 years youve been on the throne

"[Tamlin] resented being High Lord — and maybe... maybe that was part of why the court had become what it was" ???? girlie what are you talking about, the spring court is fine right now it doesnt get destroyed until ACOWAR. which is also you fault

so Feyre is once again wearing a chiffon gown for political reasons when she could very well be wearing pants and shes completely fine with that. great

And Mor is wearing red and Feyre is completely unbothered by it, why give her a trigger like that if it just stops mattering the second shes out of the spring court

[poppinlovemp4]

what are your thoughts on each nct member

im crying there are 22 of you here thats fewer people than nct. who's sending me this. anyway im bored so ill answer... really long obviously there are so many guys

i dont have any thoughts on the wish members ive never streamed idk any of their names and i'll keep it that way bless their hearts. or not idk

jisung: idgaffff his dancing is overhyped and he's charmless to me and i hate deepvoice rappers forever

chenle: probably nicest voice in dream but that's a really low bar. dont really have other thoughts. i've heard he cares a lot about basketball which can either be charming or offputting i dont know enough about him to say

yangyang: thats OOMF top 3 in ncity to me <3 i really did not care about him all when i was first entering weishenville sorry for my anti-kpop rapper bias but he's soooo fun to watch onstage. imo the only one other than ten obviously who's got a good handle on #It. and he has the cutest smile ever probably. and i like him :-)

jaemin: idgaf i literally cannot think of a single thing to say here

haechan: seems like an unsavoury bloke from what i've seen of his scandals and i hate his voice so so so badly like when i first listened to 127 on purpose i had to pause and look up a lyric video to see whose voice i hated so much. good performer though

jeno: least fave nct member and i dont like many of them. disband

renjun: hope he's feeling better these days. no further thoughts

hendery: thats OOMF but kind of less than the rest of wayv sorry.. he's like one of the only idols ever i think is genuinely funny the way he speaks and acts is so 😭 i really dont know how he comes up with any of it. was sincerely baffled when i found out he wasnt wasian

xiaojun: he's all right

mark: ive literally never been impressed by any performance ive seen from him idk WHERE people get the all rounder genius idol thing from it's not showing #ToMe!!! the originator of many fave reaction images though so he's okay in my book

jungwoo: idgaf. wait no back when djj was announced people kept comparing him to xiumin in cbx to justify his place there (as in 2 main vocals / guy who isn't a main vocal) and he is not xiumin he could never dream of having my beautiful sister's charisma uniqueness nerve or talent! other than that idgaf

winwin: saw the news today hope he heals all righttt and it's nothing too serious... as an idol he brings nothing to the table except cuteness and that's not very important to me so i hope his career in cn thrives bless

jaehyun: tbh when nct first debuted i hated him so badly for literally no reason like his face just made me so mad. and look at us now <3 he is my entire 127 tag. i liked his debut so i'll continue following his solo career and he's also funny to me but i can't say that without feeling like jaehyun tote bag tweet

ten: thats OOMF another top 3 member <3 he's EVERYTHINGGGG imo the only nct member who's like absolutely a star & built to be a soloist.. i cannot wait for his second albummm i love his vision he is so so so so insanely talented it boggles the mind. and also so cool... i rarely think idols are cool but he is so cool

doyoung: he's a crazy ass hater with an evil spirit but i kind of fuck with it idk if i had to pick a second fave 127 member it would probably be him he's funny to watch. i streamed from little wave a few times also

kun: thats OOMF every time he's mentioned that he was the one who pushed for a certain song/production choice (new ride being in gmt, the strings at the end of omy) it's been one of my favourite parts of whatever the final product is so i really appreciate that. ten's kinda right about him he's so old but it's really charming to me

yuta: idrgaf. i thought his solo debut was interesting ill be giving his future stuff exactly one stream and perhaps more if the execution improves

taeyong: i think it's so funny how everyone buys the cutesy act he started going hard on immediately after his bullying scandal came out😭 loved his work on baby don't stop & call d. hated his work on everything else. every time his verse on rv's cover of be natural comes on i take a moment to curse him out

johnny: from chicago and yet so deeply charmless he gives this beautiful city a bad name. disband

[yunwangja]

wanna drop by since i saw the matchmaking post😃

heres basic info abt me:

im a reader, always has been since i was little. mangas, novels, classic literature, i read it all. one thing i don’t rlly like, though, is non-fiction :/

my personality is basically reserved and lazy 😭 im an introvert that hates social events and public speaking. never studies but get good grades. i would go into deep lore abt my fav novels or interests if you would actually listen. i rlly love listening to music, too. my fav genre are kpop and rock/metal.

yeah thats it! i hope u have a great day 😆

omg thank u for this <3 this wasnt easy tbh because i think theres a lot of hq characters that could suit your personality but in my opinion these are the ones that could really have potential w u! mweheheh i hope you like it !! i ramble a lot abt certain scenarios so heads up lol!

kageyama 5/10. i think he realistically would take a long time to get a partner 😭 but i think that you guys could click somehow! if u were yn i think you’d start as friends, bc i think he could feel comfy around u. when he notices you he’d get interested in things u like n would be willing to listen to your stories. i picture a scene where like he’d be casually practicing and ur just gonna chill there and yap abt him, and he’ll just listen. i def think he’d ask help from u w acads at some point lol! (he’d have a hard time being expressive ofc thats our kageyama <3)

kenma 6/10. if u guys arent gonna be tgt you can def be besties. really based on ur description u guys look like you’d get along. you’d help each other out, listen to music together. i also picture like u just reading books and him just gaming :D

noya 6/10. ok hear me out. i think noya would just find u cool as shit and try to impress u as his way of asking u out. i think his first move would be asking help with studying, and he’d really get into things you like! i see him attempting to read for u bae, just for u to notice him. i think as an extrovert and shit he’d try to break you out of your shell by dragging you into certain situations, (idk how u’ll react but if u get annoyed) he’ll take a step back once you talk to him about it and be quiet as a puppy lol

suna 7/10 this man. ok just my reasoning behind it is that i think he’d just get you. he’d love to hang out with you. first wouldnt care much that you like reading but eventually gets into it too. i can specifically see him get into it when you talk abt a manga one day and before u know it! ;) hes reading it too lol. you guys would be pretty chill together nonetheless.

oikawa 4/10. if its oikawa i can see it being like an uhh enemies to lover type of thing maybe. like hes the type to annoy the shit out of you n keeps bothering you but he just gets closer to you. when u guys become - at the least - friends, he’d listen to music w u. he’d listen to ur latest reads and loves when there is tea. he’d claim to teach u to be good at public speaking and “good at socializing”. it’d be an opposites attract type of thing ! and i think thats cute meehehe

[jinxiguess]

if you could make one change to each of the gone books, what would you change? i bet you can guess who this is lol

hmm yes this question sounds strangely familiar👀

gone: id probably cut down on the amount of time sam astrid quinn and edilio spent looking for little pete, i always thought it was a weird choice to have the four of them separate from everyone else for so long, especially since after this first book we never see the four of them together like this again, it'd have been better using smth like this later on to show sam getting to know the kids he rescued from coates better or maybe more of what it was like in pb before the coates kids showed up.

hunger: i think id change lana trying to blow up the gaiaphage at the end and move it to a later book because i always felt like after hunger she became such a static character like mg just couldnt think of anything else for her to do except for heal and make ominous comments about the gaiaphage occasionally. i dont think her trying to destroy the gaiaphage made much difference to the ending of the book either, it could easily be moved to a later book to make her arc longer and more interesting.

lies: idk if this is really a change cause it doesnt affect the plot but id make it so the reveal at the end of drake/brittney being alive and nerezza being a spy for the gaiaphage WAY LESS OBVIOUS like im not even sure it was supposed to be a twist because it was obvious from about halfway through what was going on. and if it wasnt supposed to be a twist then id change it so it is one cause lies was a bit slow imo, it couldve done with more suspense i think

plague: im like 90% sure ive made a post about this before but im gonna say it again cause i stand by it: drake and brittney shouldve been separated by the gaiaphage. like not only was it kinda what i expected to happen since thats literally WHY drake went to the gaiaphage in the first place but i think that brittney had so much potential to be a really really interesting character and she was sort of just reduced to a plot device for drakes character... and tbh HE was pretty much a plot device in the later books so she was like a plot device to another plot device😭😭

fear: im not sure exactly what id do with pennys character but i really dont think she shouldve died at the end, she was such an interesting character both in terms of her backstory and just adding something new to the story cause by book five the whole whiphand thing was getting so tired. like. we get it. so i think having her as a villain in light wouldve been really cool. or maybe id change howards death cause it always made me sad that he just. died. like that and also that nobody cared except orc

light: brianna lives☹️

[vyladromeave]

If MCD gets turned into a book I am almost certain the autism ghosts will possess me again and I’ll have to making a 5 hour long rant with a conspiracy style string chart on my wall

GOD mcd as a book genuinely makes me both so excited and terrified at the same time. I've had this ask sitting in my inbox for like a day now because idk entirely how to voice all the opinions i have about this. AT THE VERY LEAST: It's cool that Jess hasn't forgotten entirely about MCD, and while it sounds like the plans to continue myst are more clear/doable (its the same format she's always done, all it takes is for her to write a conclusion she feels satisfied with. which is definitely a large feat but it feels more in-reach than expanding on mcd right now), its cool that theres still an interest for MCD as well.

SORRY THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET LONG TURNS OUT IM VERY MENTALLY ILL ABOUT THIS SERIES WHO COULDVE GUESSED. SORRY. HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO ESCAPE PLEASE TAKE IT NOW.

CONTINUING: MCD continuation sounds like it is not in reach right now, and not entirely a priority either. It's not even in pre-production yet, it sounds like she hasn't even decided on a format to release it as, which means relatively zero work has gone into making that yet. (Beyond the guideline that has already been written for it in the form of the existing MCD story that we know and are familiar with.) We don't even know if it would be a book!! JESS doesn't even know if it would be a book!! I don't know how I'd feel about it if it WAS a book! She's been vocal about wanting something akin to an anime or animated series before iirc (though i dont remember the source for this so correct me if im wrong), so it could be that thats still something she wants to pursue with and getting a whole animated show at a good quality is hard! I don't know!!! Nobody knows!!!! (And I don't know if she's ever even produced anything aside from Youtube Video Storytelling/RP series. Sure she has a very successful toy line, but that's not really a writing/storytelling medium. And I guess there's the music videos, but those are... um......... bad........ And we know she's no stranger to fanfic, thanks to the fucklist if nothing else, but i've literally never SEEN her writing go towards something that wasnt a Minecraft Youtube Video. On this note, if anyone is familiar with work Jess/the team has done for something that ISNT the medium of things she posts to her youtube channel, please send it my way I'd be very interested in checking it out.)

I think I'm glad that at the very least, it wont be produced in the same style as her modern rps (the style used for mcds3 + modern mystreet content + Rebirth too actually...) because I really don't enjoy that style... to me a big part of MCD honestly is the fact that things are for the most part kept in Aphmau's POV of things, something they ditch alot in modern rp content. But switching that format to something else might not lend to telling it the same way. Which is scary to me!! (honestly I personally think mcd would function really well as a first person visual novel or something along those lines. but if anything, that might require more writing than a book would, since there'd be choices and paths...) And obviously ppl HAVE attempted things similar to retelling mcd as a book before, there might be more MCD rewrites out there than MCD fanfics at this point tbh im not blind. But there's still the difficulty of being able to tell that story well in a medium it was not originally produced in/arguably meant for.

There's also the point of: I don't really Like a lot of the more recent choices Jess has made with MCD's story somewhat recently. The stuff with Irene in Mystreet just feels like a mess, I don't like the idea of the two having crossover. And while Rebirth for the most part was pretty good, there are still some things I have gripes with, mostly with how Aphmau is presented as a character and agency problems she's had since all the way back in mcd s2. There's a very real possibility that I just wont enjoy MCD as the way Jess wants to tell it now. And thats like fine, obviously, but it is also a little disheartening.

and then there's the point of: still knowing that i probably won't like how it ends, WE WILL LIKELY GET AN ACTUAL END. can you imagine that. MCD with an ending. a canon ending. I doubt it would be in the first installment of whatever MCD gets published as (if it gets published at all), seeing as even in Rebirth jess was planning on it having 2 seasons, but still. Even if I don't like the ending, the idea that there will BE ONE OUT THERE for me to bounce off of is incredible to me.

when it comes down to it: i honestly don't have much hopes of MCD ever being officially finished in any capacity. I hate to be a downer about it so soon after news that Should be Good. But the fact that she doesn't even know what MEDIUM she wants it to be in is not a good sign. If it Will ever be officially published in some form, it's likely it won't be for a very very long time. Not like mcd fans are strangers to waiting, but still. As a professional MCD Waiter, I would not be surprised if we are left waiting forever. It happened with original mcd, it happened with rebirth, i do not doubt it will continue happening for a very long time. I'm scared to get my hopes up for a finished story of any kind, because it's never approached Finished before. Its very hard for me to get excited over something I know will likely be abandoned, possibly before it's even been started.

but yeah if we get mcd book ill read it probably. ya know. whatever or something. <guy who is trying not to look like he cares about this a lot

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

2 + 3 + 12 + 33!!!!

had to fish around to find that ask game again!!!!! also hiiiii better late than never :))) :}}}}} <3 i need to tell u smth abt kleo i have Thoughts (not big thoughts this sounds as if its big it isnt i just reconsidered my initial statement that u might not like iiiiit)

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel that youre unable to??

oh yes!!! so much!!!!! even the things im writing bring me constantly into a situation of hair-tearing-out crying-clawing-screaming hitting-head-against-the-wall. i flip-flop between thinking i cant even write what im writing and thinking that im kinda decent. hhhhh. anyway!!!!!

i want to write a solid longfic with extensive worldbuilding. it doesnt matter the genre, just solid and rich worldbuilding where the writing stays consistent and steady until the end is already good. but if i could specifiy, i yearn for it to be a canon compliant/canon divergence/canon era fic with a unique take on canon. i want to write canon era fics in general, but im always hesitant to. i know what happens when i fall into a research hole, it fires up my anxiety. and i want to write scifi or a cool space opera. and i want to be able to write novel fic (of tyk) and not want to die during the process. all these things feel impossible to me :]]]]]]]]

3. how would u describe ur writing style?

i had to think about this for a bit!!!! because my writing style is unfortunately directly connected to my mental stability which is not always. stable. huehe. hmmmm i think my style (given that im doing good!) leans very hard into economical but evocative storytelling; like, i mean the rhythm of oral storytelling. stream of consciousness. prose poetry. poetry slam. i want the words to explode in your mouth and i want it to paint a very clear image in your head. i want people to hear me telling the story! even if the reader (or listener!) cant be there to experience it for themselves, at least i can tell them about it! thats probably because my first experience with story as a concept comes from audio dramas and generally someone reading something to me. thats honestly still the medium i prefer, tbh.

12. if you write in more than one language, whats the difference?

TvvvvvvT

currently i dont write in more than one language, if u dont count non-fictional handwriting bc i write all my notes in my native language. but i still remember how it used to be to write creatively in german. like im always whining about how difficult it is to cast the same image in english as in german; i just dont have that fine motor control over english as i have over german. i can easily switch between gears in german but english still ,, befuddles me pfft. its most noticable when im mucking around drafting and spend more time thinking about fun stuff like correct grammar and correct sentence structure and which word means what in english, than about the story and the characters. it takes so much energy and effort to think about and of all of this, there is barely any space left for the story that im trying to tell. which is def a major drawback for me and one of the reasons that ive been considering to start writing in german again. even though i have uh some baggage there that i dont really want to face. language is so connected to identity and culture. and thats another reason why english is difficult; i know english, aside from school, mostly from usamerican books or from online interactions with usamericans or people talking usamerican. so that has ofc heavily influenced my own english. like, i set all my stories in germany for reasons, but its stupidly hard to draw up the cultural markers because the language itself that im using is already coming with cultural influences from another country. its really strange and confusing, and i would find it fascinating and interesting if it wasnt so frustrating. sometimes it feels like there is a veil between me and what im trying to say, and also as if my thought patterns dont work as they would because the language that should just be a tool to tell a story is already so dominant. thats def smth i hope to change in the future

33. give your writing a compliment!

hmmm. its very earnest. reading my own stuff, even old stuff, i can tell what sort of struggles made it hard to get smth specific onto the page. and sometimes what ends up on the page is not what was supposed to be there in the first place. but its earnest and i can see that. its always the best i can do in that moment, and its always a piece of me because i give so much of myself during the process. thats not always a good thing but its how i am. im glad the earnestness, the sincerity, the love, the faith, the hope, is so visible to the bare eye.

yet another writing ask

[slowdripsunrise]

ok more book talk. about to go to work and i need something to do for like 20 mins so. book talk. spoilers for various books under the cut

pretty sure the last book i ended on was the ghost bride, so next up i read Silver Under Nightfal by Rin Chupeco ! tbh. it was fun it was entertaining dont remember much from it other than vampire sex and . actually yeah political intrigue and plagues but mostly vampire sex. read through the audio book pretty quickly i had a good time i just really im sorry but i couldnt get over the fact that the mcs name is remy like. the rat. and thats on my thats my bad but yeah. i do have the second one and i am planning on reading that i dont have my hopes up for more than like. a little bit of plot and a Lot of vampire sex which is fine like the bits of plot i did get were interesting enough to keep me with it so. thumbs up from me :)

next i read The Binding by Bridget Collins, which. who boy that was a ride and a half. definitely 100% enjoyed it would recommend! I did read this a long time ago so a lot of it is lost to me but i remember absolutely devouring that book like easily. if you do want to read it tho, i would recommend going in knowing as little as possible; about halfway ish i think it takes a total 180 turn and just. puts you on a lil rollercoaster ride it was good. look at trigger warnings though! there are a lot of explicit discussions of heavy topics so do read those first.

after that i read Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang, a collection of sci fi short stories that I enjoyed..... quite a bit? dont remember many of them, and to me i feel like this collection was wayyyy overhyped and i didnt enjoy it as much as i could have tbh. overall if you like sci fi i would recommend and there were some interesting conversations brought up throughout, so i do think it's worthwhile, i just didn't like it as much as i thought i would.

after that i read The Six Deaths of the Saint by Alix E. Harrow, a very short novella that like kinda destroyed me a little bit. like the love story was so lovely and felt genuine even in such a short amount of pages, and it's something i would go back and read again and again. 10/10 would recommend i read this in one sitting at like midnight and i think it changed my brain chemistry just a little bit

then i read Flux by Jinwoo Chong, and i really dont have much to say about it. it could have been a me thing where i wasnt in the mood for this story but i did not connect to any of the characters at all and i was confused pretty much the entire time. its one of those time travel things were like. a crime has happened and they start from the beginning before the crime but also after looking back on it and like the mc is supposedly in a simulation but neither he or the reader can tell if/when he is or not but like. yeah i just didnt vibe with it.

then i read Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon, my first book of theirs ! i thought the concept was really cool and i cared about a lot of the characters, not much has stayed with me since i read it but i am excited to read more of Solomon's work! also the romance was sweet and cute or whatever.....

after that i read Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah!!! oooohhh this book was good. this book was so fucking good it messed me up by the end of it. and I did appreciate the footnotes adding details about both the world/time the book is set in and about their technology, but also about the prison system as it is today. and ohhh the two fmcs and their relationship was so lovely to read about, how they knew each other and cared for each other so well just. AUHDJNS. yeah. 10/10 loved and i'm excited to see more from this author

last one for this post unless i really wanna push it for work, i read the first two books in the Between Earth and Sky series by Rebecca Roanhorse! also very good 10/10 im very interested to see where it goes especially with Serapio and his whole godliness shtick, the magic and worldbuilding was super interesting and i am frothing at the mouth for the third i know its out but like i also want the audiobook and i havent seen if there is one yet but like i need to listen to it ok its just not the same without it.

ok thats it theres still more but i need to stop myself, almost gotten through it. i havent read as much recently ive been a knitting warrior but looking to get back into it more soon !

[sapphosdickandballs]

heyyyy!!! i saw that you changed ur theme. just wanted to first of all say i loveeeee that shade of green omg. its so cool.

anyway also that ask you sent about reading kiss her once for me- ahhh. im stoked ur reading it!! ellie is such a loser and yeah. i need a jane su/jack (i forget her last name atm whoops) in my life. mostly jane aughhhh... sorry im noooot here to gush abt ols HOWEVER. i get it. 100%. idk i just like- loved them. they were cute and ughhh.

u got any updates w reading???

i just got done reading delilah green doesnt care and tbh. its not a rec from me. im gonna keep my thoughts to a minimum but it felt very bland and like a whole nothing burger with such a... paper thin character veil. i didnt care about the cast at all???? especially not the ship. i did like iris and astrid but damn it just was low key boring??? the sex scenes werent even hot 👎. like okay so not gonna rip on it TOO hard but it's got a cute cover but i didnt find it to be rec worthy nor is it even comparable to any of my other favs. it was mindless, but executed in a way that felt underwhelming. like a different book i read- mistakes were made. which is by an author you recommended a book from. thats a whole nother argument i had formed but that one wasn't good either 😭. sorry but that one suffered from the opposite problem of too much sex and the plot just WASNT compelling. also the characters were awful?? at least the daughter. i hate that she was written as some spoiled child when she was legitimatly a college student. anyway NOT recs. but im indeed interested in giving both of their other books a try??

anyway i really REALLY want to try this one eventually. it looks really good but my libby doesnt have ittttt :(

uhhh another thing is-

i ask of you now- to make a decision on which i start first since you recommended them both to me in that long ask. (thats mainly why im sending this lol i could go either way but would like ur silly input on to choose which path to take first.)

as for the ask you sent earlierrrrr- i might dm u later w a bunch of rambles bc im not gonna publicly ramble in case they ever find this acc but watch out!! i can yap. :3

anyway thats all!!

Oh that sucks about Delilah green doesn’t care. I think that was on my list but I hadn’t started it yet. But I trust your judgment so I’ll prolly take it off

By an author I recced or one of the books I recced? Just curiosu. If it’s an author I recced I’ll make a mental note not to read any more of them

I’ve read til the point they arrived at the mansion and she met boozy in kiss her once for me I’m easily distracted but I will read more soon! I have a bunch of stuff I have to do for uni so it might be a sec. But I will read more I do really like it

ughhhhh the falling in love montage is so. Aughhhh. I love that book. It sucks your library doesn’t have it I read it on Libby so that’s weird. I wish you luck in finding it tho it’s so good

Oh this is hard okay. So something to talk about is very angsty? Like I read it and was yelling at the characters the whole time to stop being stupid. But if you relate to feeling like a predatory lesbian (I do 🙌) then this book will hit. I ultimately really liked it and thought the angst and buildup was worth it

I also really like never ever getting back together it’s pretty fluffy and cute and makes fun of the bachelor type shows which I thoroughly enjoyed cause I watch those shows (guilty pleasure) and it’s dual perspective which I always be eating up. One of the main characters acts like an idiot for a while but then it gets really cute. And it’s not too sex heavy afaik. Neither is something to talk about except for the very ending

Both are good I can’t really recommend you one over the other, so I will just say are you in a more angsty mood or a more fluffy mood

That’s fine lmao that’s why I added the disclaimer of answer in an ask or a dm. I just hate saying you can dm me cause liek. The implications

[little-red-fool]

No problem, thank you so much Red! I really dont mind longer posts, but does take a bit longer for me to write up my reply in turn.

I was also the same until quite recently! I didnt know it wasnt an alias for a long time! Iirc it might be confirmed in dlc content, and I haven't yet read all of the journals that were added then.

I felt a little weird about that post, as I don't like harshly criticizing what others do in their fics (the only way I might step in is if a fic is written by an openly cis/straight person writing a trans character in an obviously transphobic way and was open to criticism too. I know I'm unfortunately not going to get through to bigots/dont want to waste my time tbh)

I'm not super strongly opionated on it either. I generally hc higgs as trans masc, but Im open to trans fem and other headcanon/interpretations too ( less so of cis higgs, its just not as interesting to me)

With that in mind, higgs would likely not have been named something as masculine as "peter" and in that case would have a different name thats likely his deadname. If we're talking transfem higgs, then "peter" could be considered a deadname for sure.

Higgs and peter both being names/aliases that he readily uses feels more in line with kojimas previous games like mgs, where he does this a bit. A character will have several names that they will go by, depending on the circumstances and time period, but to close loved ones they share a true name with, usually a first name. I usually use Higgs more frequently too, partly to not spoil newcommers to fandom on the suprise twist, if they havent played the game yet. Both feel like equally his name to me. The only uncertainty i have is that he may not in fact use "englert", because it has far more baggage depending on who from his family he got it from.

The majority of fic writers ive seen that use peter englert for higgs are either doing an au where the events that make him higgs haven't/didn't happen yet, or its a post DS au where he is rehabilitated, and using it so the UCA/regular people don't recognize that its him, so that. He can live in relative anonymity then after his crimes, and without the burden of them affecting new connections he might make.

(Personally I havent finished the book yet, but it does makes some strange divergences from the game? Like cutting out entire cutscenes that happen and making higgs really irationally angry all the time? Its very off for a novelization of a modern videogame where major parts of the story are far more acessible than like 60+ year old novels of tv and movies. I'm taking anything it with a heavy grain of salt, and just letting it add to the story if there's something that interests me and doesnt entirely contradict the game)

It’s alright! Honestly I’m in a similar boat to you, generally I prefer to HC Higgs as trans too because it feels quite fitting to me, although I’ll also swing between that and him being cis so yeah the deadnaming thing again depends on how the writer views him, but I wasn’t aware that Kojima sometimes gives characters several names in that manner as well, so thank you for that! It definitely solidifies my interpretation of the usage of his names a bit more, but the redemption fics/AUs that call him Peter make a lot of sense and I quite like those interpretations too.