#i think u might kleo actually.

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

2 + 3 + 12 + 33!!!!

had to fish around to find that ask game again!!!!! also hiiiii better late than never :))) :}}}}} <3 i need to tell u smth abt kleo i have Thoughts (not big thoughts this sounds as if its big it isnt i just reconsidered my initial statement that u might not like iiiiit)

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel that youre unable to??

oh yes!!! so much!!!!! even the things im writing bring me constantly into a situation of hair-tearing-out crying-clawing-screaming hitting-head-against-the-wall. i flip-flop between thinking i cant even write what im writing and thinking that im kinda decent. hhhhh. anyway!!!!!

i want to write a solid longfic with extensive worldbuilding. it doesnt matter the genre, just solid and rich worldbuilding where the writing stays consistent and steady until the end is already good. but if i could specifiy, i yearn for it to be a canon compliant/canon divergence/canon era fic with a unique take on canon. i want to write canon era fics in general, but im always hesitant to. i know what happens when i fall into a research hole, it fires up my anxiety. and i want to write scifi or a cool space opera. and i want to be able to write novel fic (of tyk) and not want to die during the process. all these things feel impossible to me :]]]]]]]]

3. how would u describe ur writing style?

i had to think about this for a bit!!!! because my writing style is unfortunately directly connected to my mental stability which is not always. stable. huehe. hmmmm i think my style (given that im doing good!) leans very hard into economical but evocative storytelling; like, i mean the rhythm of oral storytelling. stream of consciousness. prose poetry. poetry slam. i want the words to explode in your mouth and i want it to paint a very clear image in your head. i want people to hear me telling the story! even if the reader (or listener!) cant be there to experience it for themselves, at least i can tell them about it! thats probably because my first experience with story as a concept comes from audio dramas and generally someone reading something to me. thats honestly still the medium i prefer, tbh.

12. if you write in more than one language, whats the difference?

TvvvvvvT

currently i dont write in more than one language, if u dont count non-fictional handwriting bc i write all my notes in my native language. but i still remember how it used to be to write creatively in german. like im always whining about how difficult it is to cast the same image in english as in german; i just dont have that fine motor control over english as i have over german. i can easily switch between gears in german but english still ,, befuddles me pfft. its most noticable when im mucking around drafting and spend more time thinking about fun stuff like correct grammar and correct sentence structure and which word means what in english, than about the story and the characters. it takes so much energy and effort to think about and of all of this, there is barely any space left for the story that im trying to tell. which is def a major drawback for me and one of the reasons that ive been considering to start writing in german again. even though i have uh some baggage there that i dont really want to face. language is so connected to identity and culture. and thats another reason why english is difficult; i know english, aside from school, mostly from usamerican books or from online interactions with usamericans or people talking usamerican. so that has ofc heavily influenced my own english. like, i set all my stories in germany for reasons, but its stupidly hard to draw up the cultural markers because the language itself that im using is already coming with cultural influences from another country. its really strange and confusing, and i would find it fascinating and interesting if it wasnt so frustrating. sometimes it feels like there is a veil between me and what im trying to say, and also as if my thought patterns dont work as they would because the language that should just be a tool to tell a story is already so dominant. thats def smth i hope to change in the future

33. give your writing a compliment!

hmmm. its very earnest. reading my own stuff, even old stuff, i can tell what sort of struggles made it hard to get smth specific onto the page. and sometimes what ends up on the page is not what was supposed to be there in the first place. but its earnest and i can see that. its always the best i can do in that moment, and its always a piece of me because i give so much of myself during the process. thats not always a good thing but its how i am. im glad the earnestness, the sincerity, the love, the faith, the hope, is so visible to the bare eye.

yet another writing ask

[amusedyan]

Over Your Shoulder

A gift for @yandere-love-love-love (an absolutely awesome writer who produces q u a l i t y yandere content and is super indulgent w/ their followers) who mentioned in a post wanting to see Endeavor purposefully making his secretary uncomfortable.

I’m working on another one from that post, but I do love me some yandere Enji!

TW: sexual harassment,  light stalking, threats of violence, yandere behavior

Special thanks to my friend and mod Kleos for taking a look and giving me feedback on this.

Srsly look at that man- would you want him over your shoulder?

Also, note, while normally I try to keep my insert characters gender neutral, I made this one female just because it worked better with my idea.

When you first got hired, the secretary you were replacing had given you a heads up on her, figurative, way out.

"Do your job and Endeavor will leave you alone."

She'd been leaving to get married, had been working at Endeavor's agency for nearly 10 years. She'd stayed on an extra week to train you (and give you some advice).

The former Ms. Kikuchi had told you how the complicated filing system worked, what numbers he wanted routed to him immediately and which ones to handle on your own. She showed you how to arrange the meetings and who to call for each (and where to find them in the directory she'd compiled for easy access). You learned how he liked his coffee, when he'd prefer tea (and what kind) and his preferred lunch habits.

You'd been overwhelmed but more than appreciative. How could you be anything but? It was your first job at an agency, and you were working for Endeavor! The new Number One! You’d be a fool to be anything but happy for the help, and You made her a "congrats on getting married and thank you for training me to handle this" cake on her last day.

So Ms. Kikuchi had told you how to do your job.

But then on your first day handling things alone Endeavor had appeared at your desk within the hour, sneering down at you through his flaming facial hair.

"I expect my employees to dress professionally." You could feel your face turning red, even through the confusion.

What was wrong with slacks and a nice cardigan?

"I'm sorry sir, but what's wrong with my outfit?"

"This is a professional environment. Because it's your first day, I'll let it go, but I expect you in a skirt or a dress starting tomorrow." He said lowly, and you nodded, trying not to sweat at the heat coming off him. "Am I understood?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir." You said quietly.

Endeavor nodded and returned to his office. You breathed a sigh of relief.

(You had to go shopping after work for skirts and dresses appropriate for work. Plus an extra pair of stockings. You winced at the total but paid anyway.

The next day you came in dressed neatly, feeling vulnerable in the new skirt.

When Endeavor came in he looked at you in passing, took in your outfit and nodded.

You figured that meant you were in the clear)

The next week, on his orders, you brought him lunch from the expensive deli that Kikuchi had said he preferred.

She'd left explicit instructions- he ate one thing from there, and if it wasn't right you would have to deal with it.

"And no one likes it when Endeavor's in a mood," Kikuchi had told you. You could believe that.

(He might be a hero but he wasn't...he made you want to flinch. Eye contact was best avoided. He took all the attention in a room, commanded a presence and smelled like smoke.

But the job paid well)

"What is that?" He said, the moment that you shut the door behind you.

"Your lunch?" You offered, a sinking feeling dropping into you.

"I didn't tell you what to get."

"No, but Ms. Kikuchi left a list of what you like. And since it was the deli, she said-"

"I don't care what she said. Unless I tell you what to get, don’t refer to the list!” He snapped, and you nodded. Endeavor took a deep breath, and you watched the flames on his face flicker and calm.

It was a conscious fight not to tremble as you stood there- if your knees started knocking than you were risking your balance in those ridiculous heels that completed your outfit.

“Leave the food. Don’t do it again.”

“Yes sir.”

(You didn’t call him out on the fact that he hadn’t told you what to get him.

And you didn’t repeat your mistake)

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

You blinked up at him in surprise.

“I’m sorry?”

“A boyfriend? A husband? A sexual partner?” You were blushing so hard, you knew.

“N-no, I, no I don’t- why does it matter...?” 

“I need to know that none of my employees are distracted.

It’s a continuing pattern in the following weeks. No matter how you tried, you couldn’t do your job, so Endeavor didn’t leave you alone.

Strange questions, personal observations, weird requests and orders that he deliberately made impossible to follow.

His looming figure was always over your shoulder, pointing out your mistakes, calling you out for the smallest of details; all those preparations that Kikuchi made to help you were useless, because unless Endeavor gave the order he didn’t want you doing it.

The problem was that Endeavor was not an easy man to ignore. He burned like a furnace directly at your shoulder, and you have to worry about sweating your makeup away because of it.

(And oh, the makeup- a little eyeliner and some tasteful gloss didn’t cut it for this man, no, professionalism always, which led to youtube tutorials...)

You were stressed. Very, very stressed.

One morning, though, you felt him shift behind you, and suddenly that heat was very intense right behind your head-

“I’m not a fan of green apples. Change it.”

Did...did he seriously...

“You just...sniffed my hair.” You said softly, face red and heart pounding. How- what? Enough was enough, this was...

You sat there in silent rage; was steam coming out of your ears? You thought it might be. How ironic.

How dare he- why did he think he had the right?

You thought long and hard about it that night and came to a decision.

The next morning you knew people were whispering about you, and who could blame them? You were wearing virtually the same outfit from your first day- pants and minimal makeup included. One last major show of defiance as you knocked on Endeavor’s office door.

“Come in,” he called calmly; it was funny, he’d never outright threatened you or even hurt you, but the sound of his voice, low and pretend polite, made you shiver with fear.

But you stood straight and stepped in, closing the door behind you.

“I wasn’t aware it was casual Friday.” He remarked, and you felt your lips twitch, just a bit. You sat down without waiting for him to ask. Endeavor was just the kind of asshole who wouldn’t, just to prove his dominance.

“It’s not,” you promised calmly, handing over your printed letter. “I just came to give you this.”

Endeavor’s hand dwarfed the paper it was so large, and you watched his eyes scan the printed type before they flicked back up to meet yours. “You’re resigning?”

“Yes. I wanted to give it to you in person.” It was only polite- besides, your mother had warned you about burning bridges. 

He nodded and hummed. There was a pregnant pause as you watched him finish the letter. You thought that might be the end of it, had prepared for being thrown out of the building. You had enough money in your account to scrimp together for a bit, and well, you’d figure out what would come next. Customer service was still an option.

Then Endeavor incinerated the paper in a burst of fire that, had you jumping half out of your seat.

“Sit back down.” He ordered, and you meekly did so, heart pounding as he very calmly got up from behind his desk, strolled around and past you- when you heard the heavy thud of the lock your heart jumped up into your throat.

“Endeavor, sir-”

“Shut up.”

He was behind you again, but this time his too warm hands were on your shoulders, gentle, mocking restraints.

“You aren’t going to leave. You’re going to go home and you’re going to change into something professional, come back and resume work. I won’t even dock your pay.” Endeavor’s voice was low and quiet and it thrummed in your bones and made you shudder.

“You can’t make me. I’m not your employee anymore, sir.” 

He hummed again. “That’s true, but it would be very hard to find employment if I spoke against you.”

No, he wouldn’t-

“That’s illegal,” you countered, trying to stay calm. He was a hero, for all his faults, he wouldn’t break the law. Would he?

“That’s true. But you know how rumors are, don’t you? I mean, my agency’s seen the way you dress, the way you look at me, how you constantly make mistakes for my attention-”

You tried to stand, but his hands forced you back down.

“But I don’t!”

“It doesn’t matter, does it? What matters is what people think. Now, if you’re a good girl and go home and get dressed, like I told you, things will be fine. We can even have a long discussion about it. Do you understand?”

He had you trapped. That rat bastard, he- he was actually-

“Yes. Yes, sir.” You whispered softly, closing your eyes at the feel of his lips on the top of your head.

“Good girl. Stay after work and we’ll have  a nice long talk about your responsibilities as my secretary. I’ve let you twist in the wind long enough.”

[elucubrare]

kudos and kleos for your post on writing prophecy — here’s a really specific idea that i wanna ask u about, mostly because i havent read fantasy since i was 14, but im curious as to how thisd work in a fantasy context: what are ur thoughts on unrealized prophecy (not the official name if there is one)? by that i mean usually-dreamed information that one doesnt particularly attribute importance to, but that becomes uncannily relevant at a later date. [1/2]

[2/2] for instance, dreaming something very specific, like a piece of conversation or a map, that holds no relevance to the present, but that transpires later in exact or near exact congruence with a dream. IME it seems to be something that actually happens to people a lot in some capacity, so it wouldnt be a hard concept to tweak into relatable-but-weird-fantasy atmosphere. are there any books that use this prophecy system? how does it strike you?

hey i am sorry i couldn't think well enough to answer this, and tbh i'm still not sure i can: I think it would be a. really neat and b. really hard. I think it would kind of have to be the point of the story or it could get frustrating for the reader (and in fact, might work well as a short story: since I'm a fan of misery, the climax would be the main character realizing the relevance of the dream a moment too late) – it would be easy for it to feel deus-ex-mechanic, especially if it saved the day. 

It might work for a side character to have this "power," especially combined with a Cassandra thing, or else where it almost helps a few times and then does save the day only after being firmly established. 

Anyway, this is a Good Concept and I release it into the wild.