#the book is incredibly stupid

[funnyscienceman]

just remembered that asscreed underworld exists and i am baffled once again. how does this book claim ethan frye to be a good dad when all you need to do is take one look at evie and jacob separate and together to realize no, what the fuck, he absolutely wasnt, not anywhere close

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

[the-apology-dance]

I LIVE FOR BOOK AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY

Apparently in the book, Aziraphale and Crowley are implied to be a gay couple MANY TIMES.

A girl at Warlock’s birthday party calls Aziraphale a faggot.

Anathema automatically assumes that Crowley and Aziraphale are a gay couple after Crowley says “Goodnight miss. Get in, Angel.” to Aziraphale

Also, One scene I wish would’ve been acted out as it is in the book is when they both get shot with the paintball guns. How it happens in the book is Aziraphale ends up FALLING BACKWARDS INTO A RHODODENDRON BUSH and Crowley sinks down on a statue.

Crowley believes he is bleeding YELLOW and DYING and instead of, ya know, helping Aziraphale UP AS HIS ANGEL HAS JUST SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS INTO A BUSH, HE JUST CHOOSES TO CRAWL INTO THE BUSH AS WELL, BELIEVING SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH BIOLOGY. Aziraphale tells Crowley it hurt and it hit him under his ribs, which he brushes off TO ASK IF ANGELS BLEED BLUE.

Aziraphale proceeds to the same self examination as Crowley.

Crowley only figures out it is PAINT when he TASTES IT. They conclude it is PAINT.

6000 years on earth, and these idiots don’t know what a paintball gun is.

I LOVE THESE IDIOTS.

(EDIT: how did this post get so many likes???😆)

[wi1dshxpe]

gortash sets up a lending library at his estate after seeing durge’s in the bhaal temple. they both know they’re the only people who use them so it turns into a sort of game. durge loves music, so after enver’s last visit a book about viola has appeared in the temple library. enver fancy’s himself a jeweler so it’s only natural a scroll about gem welding would end up in his library. books relating to their schemes, hobbies, pasts, futures, inside jokes and aspirations get passed back in forth. the only extended pause is when a novel about star crossed lovers gets dropped in the bhaal library. it’s weeks before the favor is returned and enver receives a scroll about bhaalist marriage ceremonies. he doesn’t know whether to take it as an advance or a threat, so he accepts it as both.

[overmorrowpine]

42 pages into servant of the shard and. this is what's happening here right

[image ID: the "randy your sticks" meme. it is edited to read:

jarlaxle: hey guys im gonna learn the powers of this cool crystal shard remind me to check on my human in a bit

readers: jax your lieutenants are plotting murder check on your human

jarlaxle: oooo crystal has so much magic 👀

readers: [in large text] JAX YOUR HUMAN

end ID]

@theaviskullguy pointed out this is what was happening there and it's so right

[to-illustrate-the-stars]

🧺 domestic bliss...? (and matoba's discerning taste in clothing)

alternate version: natori can have a little bit of inner turmoil about his feelings. as a treat

requested by bestie who had this to say:

[blue-mood-blue]

Danmei Faves Meet Chopped: The Thought Experiment

(with the caveat that I have not read All The Danmei so actually this is “a limited selection of danmei faves” meet chopped) (also as of their official translations, no spoilers pls)

The Contestants:

1) Xie Lian

Pros: There is not one single thing that you could put into a basket that this man would be intimidated by. Not a single thing. He will cook anything that you hand to him, and be delighted to do so. You cannot phase him with unlikely ingredients or conflicting flavor profiles, he has risen above these concerns. He is smiling at everything he pulls out of the basket and probably scaring the other contestants in the process.

Cons: He might kill someone. Not on purpose. He will be out after round one, guaranteed, once the medics standing by in case of cuts intervene for a severe case of “all the judges are now poisoned.” Filming will probably have to stop so ambulances can be called. The crew generously allows him to take his leftovers with him.

2) Wei Wuxian

Pros: He is going to pack so much flavor in every bite! Every single bite! This man knows and embraces spice, and no one will be able to tell him that his meal is bland or underseasoned! Chili oil all over the damn plate!

Cons: The flavor is pain, he’s used every pepper the pantry has, and if he makes it to round two it’s only because of Xie Lian accidentally unleashing the horrors in round one.

3) Mo Ran

Pros: He’s a good cook! He makes a variety of dishes, and he’s gotten used to adjusting recipes for specific preferences. He’s well-traveled so it’s likely he’s encountered many ingredients and had practice in a variety of conditions, which is good experience to have in this competition. He’s been doing his best to be on his best behavior, but heaven help anyone who monopolizes the fryer.

Cons: Again - he’s been on his best behavior, but that’s really for one person who is not currently in the kitchen. He also only really cooks for one person, who has particular tastes.

4) Luo Binghe

Pros: Also a good cook! He, too, has a range of dishes he knows how to prepare, with years of practice going back (probably) as far as his adoption in his early childhood. He is well-traveled as well, with such exciting and… unique locales such as Hell Dimension (aka Endless Abyss) where he probably had to make… questionable culinary choices, so he probably won’t be thrown by whatever’s in the basket.

Cons: There’s a non-zero chance that there’s blood in the food.

(Of this particular line-up, I think it would come down to Mo Ran vs. Binghe for the dessert round, which will be a close call - they both have experience with desserts, I imagine, but I think Mo Ran might have a slight advantage considering Chu Wanning’s sweet tooth. He’s made a lot of sweets and more often. Also, can Binghe lean on a “protagonist halo” when Mo Ran is the protagonist of his own story?)

(Assuming the final round doesn’t devolve into chaos and sabotage, which… is very, very possible.)

The Non-Contestants:

Hua Cheng: Could he do well on chopped? Almost certainly. But why would he? He is here to cheer on gege.

Lan Wangji: Would probably actually do better than Wei Wuxian, if he cooks the meal to Wei Wuxian’s taste - I feel like he would be a little more sparing with the spice. Otherwise, his food is probably too bland for the judges.

Chu Wanning: He has one good dish, and it’s [redacted]. He could last a round but after that he’s probably out. He will do his best. He will not look like he is panicking (he is panicking).

Shen Qingqiu: A millennial who choked to death on bad food and rage. He probably has limited kitchen skills, but beyond the powers of having a microwave? Who knows.

Bonus Round:

Li Yu: He would try so hard. He would put every bit of skill he had on the table. He does not have any skill to put on the table. Do not put a fish in his basket, do not do this to him.

Mu Tianchi: Probably wouldn’t even compete. He’s going to steal Li Yu’s food from the judges. How dare they.

Chang Geng: He could probably do well in the competition, if he could be convinced to compete, but he probably couldn’t. He is smiling very politely at the producer, who is feeling a chill down their spine and backing away slowly.

Gu Yun: Do not let this man in the kitchen, he will cause problems on purpose.

[carrotanikerok]

i am staring intently at your bill au. any crumbs of details ye would be willing to share for it? plebby please 🙏

hi seriusbusiness4130!!! i'm really flattered! (omg i'm can't believe that john egbert father is interested in my bill cipher au omggg) i finally free from slavery of work (for 1 day) and can answer you im planning to draw some comics with that au and IM IN PROGRESS but, yeah, work sucks but for now some details!

1. scripts, that bill is following (and that he needs to make himself for the most part), must lead to a good ending and understanding between people. but sometimes... it won't. and guess who gets penalty for it and lengthens he's need to do all of this 2. one of the scripts that gone not as planned was when ford get in the portal. bill was planning that when ford called stanley, they finally will get along. They were really lonely and miserable and needed each other, and they obviously missed each other so. but things go very unexpectedly and bill was very mad with it. he was pondering very much about was that it not go well his fault in something 3. mostly bill changes color of his accessories for "roles" or when he in a certain state of mood. but he also can change it half unconsciously when he feels some powerful emotions.

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.

[greasydumbfuck]

watched the 2004 punisher movie yesterday with pixie and honestly i had fun 👍 some stuff was good some stuff was eh some completely irrelevant stuff made me mildly annoyed. but most of all it was funny and they had frank hang around with his tits out for multiple scenes so i mean how could i not have a great time tbh

[weather-phenomenon]

like every job wants u to provide a police certificate of character but the shit costs $50 and is only valid for 6 months bc idk the avg amt of time it takes someone to commit a crime is 6 months????? like i'm sorry yes i can count 6 months yes i know this is no longer valid but you will just take it as is dont want to hire me well great whatever you're the reasons ppl go on to commit crimes <3

[acebytaemin]

we literally need to start shaming people for ignorance again

[youmakethelight]

you know what, it's funny to me that genet would make david zabel eat his bullshit off the floor for calling genet "a simple woman"

[heir-of-the-chair]

Lowkey hyperfixating now and I’ve come to the devastating conclusion that Jacob the main character of Water For Elephants… doesn’t really have a character arc

[diamondnokouzai]

notes from the burning age was good inthat claire north is a genius but bad in that claire north worldbuilding is not very good

[sub-urbanwitch]

A successor to this post, with the villains this time. Drew was originally supposed to be on here as well, but he felt bland and so the decision was made to axe him.