#the blue watercolors look like a dream
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pasdetrois · 8 months ago
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Svend Otto Sørensen's illustrations for "The Wild Swans"
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blood-smiles · 2 months ago
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𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓 ⊹₊⟡⋆
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𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄!𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 - TW: Gore description at the end of the chapter . icky stuff, reader has a little bit of androphobia .
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ׂ╰┈➤ Ever since you were a little kid you dreamed of being a nurse, any kind of nurse, you really just wanted to help for the greater cause. Was it you trying to indulge a savior complex? Perhaps.
Now that you were in fact at camp, training under a more experienced nurse you came to realize that this place was so so much worse than you expected.
These soldiers were no walk in the park, many of them were traumatized from war, sometimes even refusing to take their medicine because it would numb their pain, the only thing that let them know that they were in fact alive.
It broke your heart.
Then came the harassment, some shouted and tried to swipe at you, doing all they could to keep you away from them. sometimes it was just lustful men, not seeing a woman in so long causing them to grow impatient, some would grab you, look you up and down like a fresh piece of meat. Ugh, disgusting.
You hauled around a basket full of medicine and fresh gauze, turning and weaving through the make shift hospital until reaching a white tent .
You unzipped the “door” and shimmied inside the tent, two people came into view, you greeted your senior nurse and the injured soldier politely.
The nurse turned around, clasping her hands together in what seemed a pleading gesture.
“Oh! (Y/N) there you are, can you take over this one for me? There’s another man badly injured in another tent.”
What? No, please don’t leave me with him!
You sent a pathetic look to the other nurse, begging her not to leave you all alone.
You turned your gaze over to the man sitting on the stretcher, the grip on your basket growing tighter.
He was fucking huge, his body being muscular and tall at the same time. His face obscured by dirtied bandages, all sorts of grime and dried blood splashed on his bandages like faded watercolor.
The nurse gave you a soft pat on the shoulder as she left in a haste.
You cleared your throat, shrugging off the discomfort in your system and getting to work swiftly.
You approached the sink, letting the cold water run over your skin, allowing the soap suds to cleanse the impurities and leave a fresh and pure exterior.
You patted your hands against a paper towel and grabbed the basket containing the various first aid equipment.
“I’m (Y/N) and I will be your nurse for today.” The practiced words rolled off your tongue smoothly, although your expression betrayed your confident rambling.
The man glanced up at you, steely blue-grey eyes glaring at you through golden eyelashes.
You swallowed thickly, quickly observing his physical state, you could point out two or three injuries. But with his face covered you can barely make out if he needs anything to be done on his face.
“I need to remove your bandages to clean injuries below them.” You folded your hands in front of your stomach, furrowing your brows while waiting for him to shout at you.
But the boisterous voice never came, instead a soft grunt answered along with the shuffling of fabric.
The dirtied bandages coiled around his neck, draping over his shoulders as he nodded his head to get his hair out of his vision.
You gazed at his features.. He was beautiful. 
Not the delicate flower type of beauty, not something to be gently handled or protected. It was more like a rough, jagged beauty, alike to the beauty of a rusted, jagged claymore, flowers curled along its hilt and blade.
Blonde hair curled in between his eyebrows in a sort of X shape. His features were strong and sharp, his expression stony and serious. His slightly tanned skin decorated with scars and small cuts.
“Are there any serious injuries you have right now?” 
The man rolled up his stained tank top to reveal bandages wrapped around his ribs, light pink stains splashed on the surface of the yellowed bandages.
You took a deep breath, putting some gloves on to begin inspecting the wound.
You slowly unraveled the bandages, revealing a half-scabbed half-fresh wound underneath, you glanced up at the large man to get a look at how well he was fairing with the pain.
Only the slightest twitch of his eyebrow and the soft flushing along his cheekbones were telling you that he was feeling pain.
He glanced down at you, pupils dilating for a moment before looking entirely away.
After a little you made sure to send him on his way, his right side was wrapped in bandages and thoroughly disinfected.
You made sure to clean the minor cuts on his face too, medical tape covering some of them.
You grabbed your clipboard, recording his visit today and a simple report on what was done.
“Can you give me your whole name and birthdate?” You asked softly, glancing down at the white boxed paper.
“February 14.” His accented voice answered, folding his old bandages in his own hand.
“..Marcelle Briar.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye shyly.
“Alright, I believe that is it..” you muttered, taking out some pain killers and handing them to him “You can take two every six hours to keep down the pain.. Is there anything else you wanted to speak about?” 
Marcelle looked up from his hands, gently taking your in his, 
“Yes, right here.” He placed your hand over his chest, right over his heart, it was erratically beating against his ribcage almost as if it were about to jump out of his tórax and run off.
“Every time I look at you. My heart.. em.. how do you say..? Fast.” He explained, pressing your hand into his chest even more.
His cheeks were flushed a red tint, small sweat suds forming over his scarred skin.
You laughed nervously, prying your hand away from his relaxed, soft muscles.
Your ears were beginning to feel warmer, how do you explain this to him without outright embarrassing him?
You started “Erm.. Well—“
“Lieutenant cottontail!! There you are.” Another deep voice cut you off as he stepped into the tent.
“..Salvador.” 
It was another burly man of Marcelle’s size, big muscular and intimidating handsome..
But this one was a stark contrast to him, he seemed more extroverted and.. louder, you suppose.
His black hair fell over his face loosely, styled in a messy half-up-half-down type of way.
His gaze shifted to you, eyes widening just a little bit, giving you a curious look.
“hello there.. sorry for the intrusion, muñeca.” He waved at you, his shoulders relaxed.
You stayed quiet, before just nodding your head. 
“You must be the new nurse, right?” He walked closer to you, you tried to ignore how his boots were tracking blood and mud into the sterile tent..
“C-correct.” He leaned down to your level for a moment, observing you intently for a moment, his dark eyes narrowed.
You were about to pop a blood vessel, you could hear the blood pumping through your ears frantically, did you do something wrong? Why was he looking at you like that?
“..You’re pretty cute.” He whispered to himself before he backed away completely, swiveling around to greet the blonde man on the cot.
“We have a new unit of rookies, cmon.” The new man(Salvador) motioned with his head for the other male to get moving.
“See you around, (Y/N).” The black haired one bid his goodbye with a nod of his head and a pat to your head.
The blonde one stared at you for a second, you swear you saw the corners of his lips twitch up slightly before muttering a farewell too.
Marcelle might have been struck with Cupid’s arrow. Unfortunately it seemed that he wasn’t the only one under the mischievous cherub’s control.
his “friend” had been shot too. Marcelle could tell, Salvador was laidback and a good personality, complete contrast to him but even with that arrogant exterior Salvador adored to display, Marcelle knew that something changed.
When he spoke to you the tips of his ears were slightly flushed, he toned down his prideful side too, truly a miracle. 
as far as Marcelle knew, Salvador loathed physical touch. However he didn’t hesitate to brush against you. Male-Whore.
And what did the blonde man do this whole time? Seethe as he watched the interaction. He was pushing 34 years old and he was still too shy to speak to a girl. Pathetic.
He now had competition, he hoped that it was just a puppy crush and would lay over and be forgotten by Salvador and him.
Oh how wrong he was.
It had been a while since you begun to feel at home at base, and now you had.. friends, you suppose.
Those two soldiers were becoming close to your heart, both of them paying you almost daily visits, gifting you small trinkets they found and wild flowers from their outings.
Salvador liked giving you flowers, especially red ones for some reason, he was the more flirtatious one out of the pair, but you just laughed it off. not like he could have feelings for a puny person like you, could he? He was probably playing with you..
God, are you dense or do you think he doesn’t like you? Salvador has tried everything, he has flirted, shown that you are special to HIM, he has gotten rid of all the nuisances, he literally worships the ground you walk on and you still don’t get that he is hopelessly I love with you?!
Marcelle was sweet, you honestly didn’t expect it from him, he always had an annoyed look and seemed milliseconds away from tearing your head off your shoulders clean.
But he was.. basically a human sized teddy bear—at least towards you. He liked physical proximity(surprisingly), gently hugging your head closer to his chest, burying his nose into your hair, you name it.
Salvador never had any of it, shooting nasty looks at Marcelle and muttering jabs at him, They were both like two brothers fighting over a plushie.
Somehow they both would always end up hugging a part of your body after bickering for a while.
Lately there has been various soldier deaths, strangely enough they were men you knew, both in your good and not so good graces.
They were admitted into the infirmary for life threatening wounds and most of the time died due to blood loss or a punctured organ.
It was traumatic. Having to drag the body out and into a sealed bag to the corresponding family.
Your ears pricked at the sound of screams, you were used to hearing those cries for help. You learned throughout so many years that you were to mind your business, not to investigate and much less wander near the forest.
Bloodcurdling screams resounded from the woods, only the birds and bears present to hear the sound of death.
A blonde man grabbed onto the lower jaw of the bloodied man lying on the floor, thick fingers lodging onto the frenulum of his mouth.
The sound of cartilage tearing reached his ears, a sick laugh reverberating from his chest as blood streamed out the injured soldiers mouth.
“Fancy seeing you here.” A lax voice sounded from behind Marcelle.
Salvador dragged a body with him, creating a dark trail of guts and blood on the dirt flooring.
The man Marcelle was finishing with flailed and cried on the ground, his tongue sticking out from his mouth as there was no more jaw to hang on to.
He flailed for help to the black haired fellow, only for his hopes to be crushed when he started laughing at his misery.
“I know this guy. He groped (Y/N) did he not?” Salvador cracked a rare smile, walking up to the male on the floor and landing a powerful kick to his gut.
Blood gurgled out his mouth, eyes wide as he stared up at both of the devils with fear.
Marcelle scoffed, nodding his head as he placed his foot on his head, applying pressure on hid frontal lobe until it exploded.
Making a mess of blood and brains under his black boot, even after death Marcelle had decided he hadn’t had enough though.
Lifting his leg he stomped down on his head, over and over. And over. And over again.
The deceased man’s face was unrecognizable, being pulverized into the soil as only remnants of skin and meat suggested there was a head on his body once.
Marcelle ripped his name off his uniform, taking out his lighter and burning it.
Salvador threw his own body next to the headless corpse, nudging it with his foot lightly before spitting on the corpses.
“Let’s go. (Y/N) is waiting for us.” Marcelle mumbled, eyeing the bodies one last time before leaving.
You enjoyed your lunch with both the soldiers. But you couldn’t help but notice the slight red tint to Marcelle’s usually honey blonde hair. The red under Salvador’s nails scared you, but you just figured they must have hurt themselves.
You tried to ignore the insanity behind the pair’s eyes as they stared at you, they were looking at you as if they had placed their hearts on silver platters and were waiting for you to take them.
You just smiled, thinking it was just your mind playing tricks on you from exhaustion. Sadly that wasn’t the case. ♡
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another-argo · 4 days ago
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>>Open Starter<<
Ghosting
(c'mon, you didn't think I'd stay gone, did you?)
Argo's room had stayed empty for weeks after his death. Only a few people knew where his grave was; so some people took it upon themselves to put offerings in his room instead of on his grave.
It's been a few weeks- to a month or two. The wound still hurts.. but life progresses.
The strangest thing about that is.. any offerings that Argo would've VERY MUCH enjoyed.. disappeared. Any daggers? Gone. Sour candy? Gone aswell.
You think that it's just a coincidence. Maybe- maybe people are actually just bad at this whole offering thing! If Argo was still alive he wouldn't have accepted the gifts anyways.
Because of Argo's room becoming a public tribute, even some kids from camp have managed to slip in- maybe to pay respects, maybe to swear out the bastard one more time, maybe just to pretend they knew him better than they really did.
You thought the noise coming from Argo's room was another camper- or one of his adopted siblings- in there again.
But then there was a crash.
Then another crash.
And something deep- something dark inside you lights. Your immeadiate thought is Eris. Only Theo actually saw the dead body- maybe she didn't die.
You brace yourself for a fight before you open the door and see.. Argo.
Emotions flood you in a giant wave- looking at your dead friend- or enemy- or.. whatever Argo was to you. For a moment, you think it was all a bad dream.
But Argo.. doesn't notice you. He's enamored with this stuffed rabbit.. playing with it like a little kid. He's holding a piece of a wooden block in their other hand, unwilling to let it go.
Argo hums a small tune under their breath. Their hair has gotten longer- and the blonde has grown to be majority of his hair. His eyes are a watercolor of brown and blue now- and he just looks.. transparent?
Argo moves over to some more of the offerings. There are a million different bouquets- but he picks up one that Commodus left for him- tucking a flower into his feather crown.
They put everything down- except they put the wood block in their pocket.
They look at the many daggers that were left to them. Picking some up and inspecting them.
Argo still seems completely oblivious to your presence..
What do you do?
ANYONE CAN INTERACT !
(Seriously, anyone.)
taglist (ask to be added or deleted): @orion-the-hunterpt2 @lilacnightshade @pain-is-forever @reyno-solis-real @faceless-bugger @unlicensed-field-medic @the-great-emperor-commodus @the-eclipsed-sun
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revasserium · 4 months ago
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roronoa zoro; 21,051 words (not including epilogue), fluff and angst, ENEMIES!!! to lovers, the slowest of slow burns, canon-normal violence, on-page description of injury, excessive use of flashbacks, some banter, healing from trauma, baroque works!reader to strawhat!reader, no "y/n", emotionally constipated!zoro, hurt and comfort, angst with a happy ending; (epilogue tags will be posted separately)
summary: in which neither you nor zoro are the children you remember each other to be.
update: new chapters will be posted on @shouyuus!!!
a/n: IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! i honestly cannot believe i actually finished writing this lmfao. but anyway, this post will act as a table of contents/masterlist of sorts, and i will update links to the separate chapters as they go up. chapters will be posted every few days (but they are all done! except for the epilogue LOL). i've tagged everyone who has req-ed to be tagged in this series so far on this prologue post, but if you wish to be tagged for the upcoming chapters and you're not already on this fics specific taglist, please comment below to be added! and without further ado -- here we go!
TABLE OF CONTENTS ━
prologue: someone, somewhere
chapter one: a shadow of the past
chapter two: tell no tales
chapter three: sleep of the living, dreams of the dead
chapter four: another life
chapter five: true love's kiss
epilogue: la petite mort (nsfw)
prologue: someone, somewhere
He remembers you most as a child, in halcyon images and gold-limned flashes of his own childhood memories, the edges blurring watercolor soft, but the center (always you) carved in knife-sharp relief.
You were one of the few children that lived in Shimotsuki Village who hadn’t come from the doujou — one of the few children he knew that (at least to the best of his knowledge) had a thing called family. A mother to braid your hair, a father to chase the darkness away, a warm bed and a kitchen that always smelled of freshly made rice. And perhaps it was jealousy, or some other more complicated emotion that had been then too big to name with one single word, but he’d never gone out of his way to befriend you like the other kids from the doujou did — fascinated as they were by your soft hands and round cheeks and the bright, glittering array of homemade sweets you’d bring with you once every couple of weeks.
He’d learn later on that it was because Shimotsuki-sensei had saved your father’s life at some point in time; the story now lost to the annals of legend and withering memory, but back then, he’d only assumed it was the natural way of things. Of waking up for kata practice and then settling in for lunch, and then maybe, if it was to be a good day, you, with your basket of sweets and your blue-bell laughter.
And perhaps this is why, years later, when he meets you again in a dark, nameless village tavern, he doesn’t recognize you — not at first. Because you’d looked so different. Gone was the roundness in your cheeks, or the natural star-bright light in your eyes. Gone, too, were the bright braids that your hair had always been set in — he remembers so clearly, watching the other boys from the doujou jab their fingers into the rings of your pinned up braids, pulling down just to hear you squeak. He hadn’t said anything then, stupidly thinking him above it all, watching as you tried to jerk away, but laughing when the boys finally relented with half-hearted apologies.
You always threatened to take their sweets away; you never did, in the end.
But there, then, in that tiny tavern, you’d been thin, your hair dark as an oil spill, loose and inky as it cascades over your shoulders, your eyes lightless as the windows to an abandoned house — the hollowness made all the more visceral by the light he knew once inhabited them. The way loneliness is always more potent when coming back to it, the second time around.
He wanders up to the bar, slates you a glance before rapping his knuckles on the worn wood to catch the bartender’s attention.
“I’ll have beer and a refill of whatever the lady’s having.”
You shift slightly, shoulders hunching towards your ears.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” you say, shifting to shield your face from his gaze.
Zoro cocks his head, tossing a few Berry towards the bartender as they set down a stein of beer and a champagne flute to replace the one in front of you.
“Can’t a guy buy a girl a drink?” Zoro asks, rolling his shoulders as he reaches out for his beer. You eye him warily.
“Not for a guy that’s been tracking me for three weeks straight.”
Zoro hums, thumb poised on the hilt of his swords.
“We just happened to be going in the same direction.”
You reach out to run a forefinger along the rim of the thin champagne flute before swirling it once by the base. You watch the bubbles fizzle before leaning in to take a dainty sip.
“And they say chivalry is dead…” you murmur, almost too softly for him to hear. Zoro scoffs, allowing himself a twinge of a smirk before his mouth falls flat.
“You let me track you for three whole weeks.”
There’s no question in his words, only a harsh, accusatory certainty.
You lick your lips, leaning back in your stool, tugging your glass of champagne with you.
“Maybe I wanted the company.”
“Or maybe… you wanted me to follow you here.”
Every muscle in his body is tense, drawn taut as a tightrope, coiled tight as a spring.
You sigh, twisting a single lock of your hair around a finger, examining the ends as if looking for split hairs.
Then, quick as a flash, you’re at each other’s throats — him with a sword poised at your jugular, you with a knife pressed against his stomach.
“One move —” you warn, digging the knife slightly further into his skin. Distinctly, Zoro feels the pressure slice through his thick linen shirt, the cool kiss of the blade against his abdomen. And he’s killed enough by now to know that you’ve picked a major artery — one that would hurt, and take minutes for him bleed out. Just long enough for him to suffer, but not enough to get help.
The edge of his mouth ticks upward — not bad.
It’s then, in the infinitesimal flicker of your eyes meeting his, that he realizes who you are.
He nearly topples back, jerking away slightly with the revelation. Your eyes go wide, jolted by his sudden movement. But he’s quick enough to evade the sharp jab of your knife and a second later, you’re on either ends of the tavern, drawn blades and bared teeth.
“Y-you!” the word rips from Zoro like an unripe scab, thick and hard and still bloody underneath.
You lick your lips, eyes narrowing to slits beneath your long, lanky hair.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell you don’t.”
“Oi! No fighting in the bar!” the barkeep’s voice is gruff and loud, and for a second, Zoro wonders if you’ll listen. The next, the sharp clang of metal on metal stuns him backwards a few steps as you wrest your knives from between two of his katanas, snarling.
“If you’re so much of a gentleman — let’s take this outside.”
“Ladies first,” Zoro spits out as he whips both swords through the air before sheathing them. He makes a show of holding the tavern door for you as you stalk out in front of him, your hackles raised, your knives jutting out from your belt like so many pairs of sharpened claws.
“What do you want?” you ask, as soon as you’re both out of the bar and standing in the moonlit street outside, the wharf to your left, the strip of small, rundown taverns to your right.
The air twangs with the metallic smell of fish and the thick, oppressive sweetness of rotting wood.
“An explanation,” Zoro says, crossing his arms and planting his feet.
“I don’t owe you anything.”
Zoro nods, “Sure. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know.”
You lick your lips, glaring at him for a second longer before turning and marching down the rickety boardwalk. A moment later, Zoro levels himself with you as you round a corner onto a small stretch of beach, pillowed against a backdrop of sharp, unrelenting rocks, the tips bleached white by the round, silver moon.
“There was a beach just like this,” you say, stepping onto the tide-soaked sand, leaning down to pick up a fragment of a broken seashell, washed ashore by an errant wave.
It takes Zoro a second to realize you’re talking about Shimotsuki village, and the tiny little beach on the other side of the dense, cedar wood.
“Yeah. A bunch of us used to play there — see who can throw rocks out the furthest.”
“You were always the best at that,” you say, your voice softer than he’d heard all night.
“Yeah, well…” Zoro shrugs, leaning down to pick up a piece of rock, weighing it in his palm a few times before whipping his arm back to snap it into the gentle, shushing waves. You both watch as the rock skids out over the water before plunking into the sea, “Guess I’ve always been kind of a show-off.”
The sound of your laughter sends summertime sparklers racing up his spine.
The quiet pools between you like spilt blood, rank and dripping.
“So. You go by Ms. Double Nines now, I heard,” Zoro says, in a flagging attempt to be casual as he turns to glance at you, both his hands resting on the hilt of his swords.
You stand next to him, your eyes focused on a point far out on the horizon, still as statue.
“What’s it to you?”
Zoro sighs, looking down. In the pale, cool moonlight, his earrings glint like baring teeth.
“What happened?”
You suck in a breath.
"Life happened,” you say, turning back towards him with a steely glint in your eyes. Zoro stiffens, his grip tightening on his swords as he sizes you up. He does the mental calculations — you’re just far enough for him to defend against an attack, but close enough where if things were to go south entirely, he’d have a hard time getting back to safety.
You grin, seemingly noticing his rough internal calculations.
“Do yourself a favor, Roronoa — and don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answers to,” you say, flicking out one of your blades and tossing it up into the air, only to catch it around your finger, swinging it round and round, the sharp edge of the blade nicking the air just shy of your cheekbone.
“Who said I didn’t want to know?” Zoro presses, bracing himself for a fight.
You chuckle, the sound harsh and mirthless.
“If you’d wanted to fight me properly, you wouldn’t have waited till I got you onto this stretch of deserted beach.”
“Maybe I just wanted a quiet place to kill you.”
“Or maybe…” your voice is so low Zoro almost doesn’t catch the stomach-wrenching longing in your words, “I just wanted a quiet place to die.”
The sharp shink of blades being drawn is heart-rendingly familiar, but the bone-rattling clash of metal on metal still shakes him to the roots of his teeth. Zoro grunts as he parries a blow from either side, before crossing his swords to catch your assault down the center.
You’re fast, he’ll give you that, your body smaller and quicker. You slip through the shadows with the comfort of a person who knows nothing but and he can’t help wondering at the life you’ve led that had pushed you to this point.
To having a mark on your back, a bounty on your head.
You’re a good fighter — this much, he acknowledges. But good isn’t usually good enough to best him. This much, he also knows. Yet somehow, you’re keeping up, somehow, you’re pushing him back, forcing him to retreat one step and then another. It’s not until you duck beneath one of his pin-wheeling blades and force yourself into a knife’s-breath of his space that he realizes — it isn’t that you’re good, it’s that you’re reckless.
Reckless with your own body in a way that makes him stumble back at the realization. Reckless, in the way you charge forward and thrust your body into spaces where he’d easily be able to slip a blade between your ribs — and later, when he’s wiping his swords clean of your oxidizing blood, he’d wonder why he didn’t.
Still, there’s something terrifying in the way you barely flinch when he knicks your arm, drawing a dark line of blood through your clothes, or how you jerk yourself forward when the tip of his sword catches your stomach, almost as if daring him to impale you in one fell swoop.
“You — you used to be… someone else,” he says, panting as he steadies himself against a sharp jut of moonlit rocks. Behind you, the ocean churns, dark and foaming as it throws itself onto the jagged reefs.
You lick your lips, wiping a smear of blood from your cheek. Your chest heaves with the exertion, but there’s a pale, flickering ache behind your eyes that sets Zoro’s whole body on edge.
He shivers as you grin, savage and unrecognizable as the tiny girl with mochi-round cheeks who had once upon a time offered him sweets in a hand-woven basket.
“Yeah? Well — so did you.”
TAGLIST: @brairslair @msheds0519 @yunabelless @lynndt-chocolate @lostonthrillerbark @stunies @tsumu-senpai @phroggii @ssailormoonnn @breathinginyoursmoke @guridoodles @kyllium @naomihatake @itoshiexx @mythicallystupid @mars-mizuko @astroniii @crispynutella @enhastolemyheart @fanficwriter101 @jamesbparker @dira333 @weirdowithaphone @ink-perfect
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valalice · 28 days ago
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メ taking the best naps in chloe's bed.
cw. fluff. fem!reader. established relationship. chloe is a tease. barely suggestive towards the end. not proofread.
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the bed dips as chloe sits on the edge, the palm of her rubbing steady circles on your back. she thought the sensation would cause you to slip further into dreamland, but her warm palm on your clothed skin startled you awake.
eyes fluttering open, you think the blue haired girl in front of you to be apart of your dream, the silhouette of her figure blurred—wait, you don't remember falling asleep—are you even dreaming right now?—the blunt ends of chloe's nails rake along the length of your back, sending blots of shivers down your spine; you've got to be dreaming right now, or you've somehow passed and made it to heaven, because of course the perfect heaven is chloe price scratching your back.
"wakey wakey, sleepyhead." chloe teases, her voice hushed. almost as if she didn't want to shatter the hazy space you're in.
groaning you push your head further into your (chloe's) pillow. losing the battle and letting your eyes shut once more. "'m not sleeping." your words borderline incoherent with your face smushed into the pillow. chloe chuckles, feeling the bed dip further as chloe leans down closer to your face.
"didn't catch that." even with your eyes closed you can hear the smirk that's plastered on her face right now, her fingers now ghosting over your back, but pulls them back when she feels you shifting.
with a huff you push yourself off the pillow, not bothering to open your eyes. "i'm not sleeping." you reiterate, before flopping back down onto the plush cushion, getting comfortable once again.
chloe hums, "you sure about that? because whatever you were doing for the past few hours looked a lot like sleeping."
"i was resting my eyes." you answered matter-of-factly. when truthfully you don't remember falling asleep. you remember chloe picking you up to hang out, you remember the jingle of keys opening the door, the short stamped up the stairs, and laying on her bed, then everything just blanks. but, you cannot be blamed, ever since you've known chloe her bed has had some tight grip on you sending you straight to sleep; it's troubling whenever you want to spend any kind of time with chloe in her room and the moment she turns away from you, your body is limp as your consciousness drifts off to sleep; much like today.
"right, because sleeping and resting you eyes are completely two different things."
you're sick of your asshat of a girlfriend at this point, so you flip your body on to your back, making sure to huff to make your annoyance known; but not flipping over to lay on your other side because you're not that annoyed just yet. your actions cause chloe to fully shift into bed next to you on her side, propping her head on her hand as she stares at your "resting" figure. a nimble fingers coming to trace along the indents on your face caused from the pillow, the corner of her lips twitching upward; she wants to tease you for it, for sleeping so well in her bed, but she lets the warm content pool fill in her stomach that you feel safe enough with her to sleep this well in her bed.
a beat passes, and chloe's fingertips stay tracing along your features with a featherlight touch; around the perimeter of your face, over your eyebrows, down to your eyes and under them to swish pass your eyelashes and trace circles around your cheeks, up your nose and down its bridge, and to your lips where she payed extra attention to the shape of them, she knew them well. and she wanted to kiss them, kiss you, but decided against it, for now.
chloe's hand settles on your stomach. you don't know what compels you to flip into your original position, her warm hand following your shifts to lay on the small of your back, pushing your body closer to hers. you finally, and fully open your eyes, meeting chloe's, the blueness of her eyes still striking yet soft, like a watercolor painting. the hand on your back keeps pulling as close as humanly possible till your legs are intertwined.
you don't bother to prop your head on your hand like chloe, much preferring the comfort of your head against the pillow and not the potential ache of your wrist. "how long was i out for?" voice quiet and laced with a twinge of embarrassment, whisper like and preserved only for chloe to hear.
she twist her lips up, looking up towards the ceiling for a moment before her gaze settles back on you. "for a couple hours. it's gonna get dark soon, so if you still want to go out somewhere we can leave now." the hand on your back has now found its way beneath your shirt, the fabric bunched up just a bit to expose some of your stomach and the glimpse of chloe's hand and wrist, her thumb smoothing at your waist.
now it's your turn to momentarily think, embarrassment rushing back through your veins. embarrassed because you've lost the imaginary battle with chloe's bed, again, and embarrassed that also spoiled the plans the two of you had. "do you still want to do go out?" making her question whether you wanted to still do the activities planned up to her, it's only fair in your head. although, you know she doesn't care either way.
the soft glow of the sun setting illuminates chloe's features. and it's at this time that you realize her signature beanie doesn't reside on top of her head, you take this win and reach up to comb through her short locks with your fingers, pushing hair behind her head and her side band out of her face; she hates when you do it, but she doesn't do much to retaliate besides the spew of words she'd say, your just like to see her more, all of her. "not really," now it's her turn to be lulled, being tempted by the mistress of sleep. her eyes fluttering shut, savoring your touch, eyebrows knitting together, her face strained yet still calm; she remembers, engraves even, the feeling of your touch, your skin on hers, you, into her mind, just incase you slip through her fingers like liquid and all she has is the vibrant memories of you. "i picked up that movie you wanted to see. we could watch it?"
your lips curl into a smile. only chloe could make you annoyed one moment then the next make you want to smoother her in kisses. "that sounds nice." you agree, taking a piece of her hair and twirling it around your index finger. the blue suits her well, a little too well, but your mind often drifts to if scenarios of chloe's hair; if she decides to let her hair grow out ever again, if she lets the blue fade and eventually chop it off, if she randomly gets bored of it and decides to bleach and dye it another color. you don't care what she does her hair, you know she'll look hot with anything, you just hope you're there to see the changes.
in a swift movement chloe grasp onto your wrist, freeing the hair wrapped around your finger as she tugs slightly at you, she wants you up just as she is. and with a huff you prop yourself up on your arm angled behind your back, face to face with chloe. her hand drags down from your wrist to just above your elbow, pulling you close again till the tips of your noses meet. only then does open her eyes. "promise you won't fall asleep."
you groan, rolling your eyes. "i don't chose to fall asleep. the bed, your bed, it casts some kind of sleep spell on me." you argue with sincerity. chloe doesn't buy it, her eyes squinting and an eyebrow shooting up; she's not convinced.
this time she doesn't pull you into her. but instead she uses the grasp still on your arm to push it into the mattress, giving her enough leverage to slot a knee between your legs and hover above you, leaning down. "then i guess you better fight it off, 'cause the next time you fall asleep i'm waking you up with tickles." you bite back your growing smile and the bark of a smart remark that you'd much prefer to woken up another way.
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unboundprompts · 2 years ago
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I don't know if you've done it yet but could you do hazel eyes, preferably hazel green?
No rush though, love your page 💞
Different Ways to Describe Hazel Eyes
-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.
His eyes made them think of the woods behind his old house: not just the green of the leaves but the rough brown bark that used to scrape his hands as he climbed the trees as well.
Their eyes were the color of spring and the memory of autumn.
She had the most interesting eyes he had ever seen. They held the sweetness of honey and the softness of pastures after a heavy rainfall.
The brown elements in their hazel eyes were more dominant, complimenting the freckles that dotted their nose.
His hazel eyes had never held such hatred until now.
She had soft, hazel eyes. A warm brown with an inner radiating golden sun.
Their hazel eyes were both the sunlit branches and the moss that clothed the old oak tree.
Her eyes reminded them of spring. Irises like the forest floor that stretched over the roots of trees and the plants and flowers that sprouted from between the cracks.
He had eyes like the sea and the wet, sharp rocks that lined the edge of the cliff. The center was all rock, a harsh brown that spread out to waves of greens and blues under an angry sky.
Their green eyes were flaked with gold.
She hated to admit that he had beautiful eyes. They were a soft hazel, with waves of browns and greens and golds that mesmerized her. The warmth of his eyes however, did nothing to change the impression she had of him.
Behind their hazel eyes, he could tell they were hiding something. It reflected in the greens and golds of their irises.
Her eyes were the same colors as the bracelets on her wrists. He watched the golden metal with the blue and green gems clang against one another as she talked with her hands.
They had never imagined that hazel eyes so beautiful could look so sad.
His eyes mirrored the ground of the cemetery and the blue sky that looked down on them.
She had eyes like watercolors, blues and greens and browns swirling together to paint an incredible scene.
They had eyes that painters could only ever dream of capturing in their art.
Words could never describe the incredibility of their hazel eyes, but he was damn well going to try.
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lixies-favorite-cookie · 7 months ago
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Don't cry over spilled milk ◦ l.f
-Accidents happen is an easy thing to say when your daughter didn't just dump a cup of milk on your husband's new black carpet and all of a sudden— you can't breathe
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Paring◦ Dad!Lee Felix x Mom!Reader
Words◦ 1633
Genre ◦ Hurt and comfort, ngl this was like really angsty and I didn't mean for it to be 😭, definitely fluffy towards the end though
Warnings ◦ Kinda points towards the fact that the reader might have been abused, descriptions of the readers father being an asshole, talk about abuse, the term beating black and blue, crying, spilled milk, Felix being sickeningly sweet, overuse of love, descriptions of bad dreams, trauma, bleeding, bad thoughts, and wounds (all these are metaphors).
Taglist◦@thetoastghost222I hope you like it <33
A/N ◦this is just something simple and cute I cooked up real fast I didn't really put too much thought into it honestly I just let my brain go also don't judge me but I literally just looked up "cute Korean girl names that mean sunshine" in the search engine and picked the first thing so... also I'm going to be reuploading all my old stuff into my new blog in one fair swoop soooo I'm rereading this and there's something about my writing I have always noticed is off so if anybody can point it out/ give me advice I would literally appreciate it so much
~cookiecreates 🍪
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You took "Don't cry over spilled milk" very seriously because it took every fiber of your being not to sob when Ha-Yun's glass of milk dropped on Felix's new carpet, throwing a vibrant white stain on the expensive black furnishing. You really don't know how many different adjectives your brain could come up with to describe the horror you felt pounding in your heart.
It was as though this moment was a portal into the deepest caverns of your mind—a key that unlocked a swarm of memories flickering in the back of your brain like fireflies. You squeeze your eyes shut, pushing back the flood of bad feelings that seem to wash over you quicker than you can wipe them away—You're transported back to those days when your head was high and your hands were small, spilling milk on your dad's new carpet. You were so little, so naive, you didn't know that the world wasn't all butterflies and unicorns; that milk stained and dads got mad. You vowed to be the parent who held their baby's hand as they picked it up, smiling when they threw the dirty towel in the trash. 
Accidents happen.
Accidents happen.
Accidents happen.
But you don't know if that's what Felix vowed to do, and with the carpet being 600 dollars, you wouldn't be surprised if he beat the poor girl black and blue.
Just like your dad did. 
Your fingers tremble as you grip the cup in your hands, the world seems to swirl around you, swimming in all your bad dreams. It only took a teaspoon to die and a bad thought to drown. How easy it is to be pulled under the waves when you're vulnerable. You thought you kept the sea at bay, but even the most experienced divers can get pulled into a riptide. 
The cup clatters in the sink, startling you out of your thoughts. Ha-Yun babbles in the corner, throwing cheerios to the ground. This was all your fault; you shouldn't have put her high chair in the living room. 
All your fault.
All your fault.
All your-
The lock clicks.
Your heart drops, plummeting into the grave in which you buried all your pain. You scramble to find something to cover the stain. In all your panic, you forget that shit doesn't magically go away, sticking to your skin like syrup dripping down your spine. Everything was spinning in your vision as your lungs contracted, you wondered if you could really drown in theoretical oceans, especially the ones that occupied your mind.
It all seemed so silly as Felix's frame came into view, like he was made entirely from watercolor pouring down the page. You threw the towel over the mess, attempting to conceal your sobs.
Maybe he'll walk away.
Maybe he's too tired to notice.
Maybe you can spare his wrath.
“Love,” Felix's deep voice floats into your ears like cotton candy disintegrating under the waves of words you drown in. Scars were never promises on the skin; the human body is a delicate chemistry, and with the right motivation, it can crumble.
You snap. Break apart. Succumb to the river of sentences that stuck to your skin, like honey and glass. Time heals all wounds, but what about the ones that never scar, never scab? What about the ones whose vile words poisoned the flesh, eating away at your soul? Time doesn't heal all wounds because sometimes wounds are just too deep. Strong arms wrap around your huddled frame, your face drawn to your knees. 
“I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." you sob mindlessly, it was as though your younger self control—caught in a weird form of fight or flight—dissociating from reality.
“Sorry? Sorry for what, love?” He whispers, dropping to the floor and pulling you onto his lap. He's so gentle, so calm, so completely opposite of any love you have ever felt or any father you have ever seen.
"Milk-" You choke; your words getting caught in your throat. You dig your face into his shoulder. "She spilled the milk on the carpet. I'm so sorry." The tears keep coming as though you're bleeding all the emotions you had kept under wraps for too long; it was like an infection, and Felix's loving arms cleansed your wounds.
"Oh, love," he coos, petting your hair, "didn't anybody ever tell you not to cry over spilled milk." You can't help but chuckle, a weird mix between a sniffle and a sob. 
You must look like such a wreck right now—face blotchy and red, snot dripping down your nose, tears pouring down your cheeks—you look like you just crawled out of the pits of hell, and he still looks at you like you're the most beautiful woman he's ever laid his eyes on.
In that moment, you feel so silly, so stupid, kinda wanting to crawl back into the pits of hell from which you came. You should have known he wasn't going to react the way your father had. Felix was nothing like the man; he was kind, he was gentle, he was all sunshine and smiles, he was safe.
"I'm sorry for being such a wreck." You cuddle deeper into his chest, sniffling into his shirt. 
"Never be sorry for being human, and especially, never be sorry for showing me." It took everything in you not to break down again, letting his strong arms hold you while you scrubbed all the syrup from your soul, but you have a baby and a mess on the carpet that will be ten times harder to clean if you leave it sitting.
"I'll go get another towel," you sniffle, wiping the tears from your cheeks.
"Don't," he pulls you back down on his lap, “Put your arms around me.” You lock your hands behind his neck, yelping when he picks you up bridal style.
“What- Felix, what are you doing?” You squeal as he walks you to the couch, laying you gently on the cushions.
“I'm showing you how to clean up spilled milk,” He smirks like you didn't just destroy his 600-dollar carpet; his attitude genuinely baffles you.
"How are you not mad?” You whispered, dazed, your mind turning into mush. He tilts your chin up, peering at you with a soft smile and kind eyes. Your breath hitches, little heart eyes popping in your pupils. 
"Accidents happen, love, you never grow out of’em." You melt, literally disintegrating into a pile of goo on the couch.
"D-Do you, um, D-Do you need help?" You stutter, blinking harshly to try and gather your thoughts. It was as if his gentle heart short-circuited your tangled wires—knotted from years of wear and lack of care. 
"You just sit there and look pretty, and I'll show you why you shouldn't cry over spilled milk." He kisses you softly, smiling on your skin, "Okay, baby," he breathes, passion crackling between your lips, "You just keep-" Ha-Yun screeches, slapping her high chair full of Cheerios. Felix groans, tipping his forehead to touch yours. 
"You know, one of these days we've got to get a babysitter. I don't know how long I can stand just being able to admire my beautiful wife from afar," your cheeks burn as you tilt your head down bashfully, "Well maybe we can do that when milk isn't marinating on the floor," he claps, jumping up from his arched position, "yep, your right, jeez baby, you really know how to pull me away from a task."
You cheese, pulling the collar of your shirt over your face. "Go on," you shoo him away, "You were going to teach me something."
He smirks, walking over to the kitchen, pulling the roll of paper towels off the counter and tossing them down next to the mess, unlocking Ha-Yun's highchair to lift her out of it.
"What are you-"
"Shh sit there and look pretty," The way his eyes sparkle and his lips tilt makes him appear almost mischievous. You sink back into the couch, folding your arms in front of your chest, assessing him intently. Ha-Yun beams when she sees Felix, waving her arms around, spitting gobbly gook.
"Oh is that right, well I couldn't have ever guessed," he nods attentively like she just stated the stages of evolution, "Well, as much as I love this conversation, baby, you are going to need to clean up your mess". He chastises her gently, and she frowns, glaring at him, he lifts his brows in retort.
"You know you've got a lot of sass for a 4-year-old," he grumbles "Probably got it from your momma," he sends you a look, lips curled up in a smirk. Your jaw drops in faux offense.
"You know what-" he puts his finger to his lips, cutting you off.
"Were you this bad in school? Cause the teacher," he gestures to himself, "is teaching."
"I'm gonna-"
"Looking pretty," He singsongs, a smile playing on his lips. You bite your cheek, holding back your glare. He snickers, placing her down next to the milk—putting a paper towel in her tiny hands.
"Can you help daddy clean it up please," he squats down to her level, stretching his fingers over hers. She blinks down at the splattered milk. You can almost see the gears turning in her head when he starts carefully moving her hand back and forth over the mess. 
"See!" he cheers, his eyes glowing with pride, "Accidents happen, you just gotta learn to clean them up."
Watching the scene unfold before you fills you with an obscene form of bliss, like you have achieved one of life's greatest victories—that maybe all dads weren't raging assholes that yelled when you spilled milk because, like Felix said, accidents happen—you never grow out of'em.
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©CookieCreates (posted: June, 26th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.
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coeurify · 2 years ago
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THE PERFECT PAIR 2;
ELLIE WILLIAMS
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·˚ ༘ * “But don’t think we could help it, no"
pairing: bff!ellie williams x fem!reader. part one. summary: part TWO! you forgot to answer ellie, shes upset. you make up for it with a party, what could go wrong! wc 6.9k warnings: ig you could say slightly toxic friendship. ellies jealous. blink and you miss it jealous reader. almost.. sorta.. kinda kiss.. slight angst slight fluff.
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You dreamt of the past a lot. Ever since you were little, more often than not, your dreams were much different than the other kids around you. When they spoke about their dreams of dragons and kings, you could only pipe in with the nostalgic nighttime story of your most recent favorite memory that played like a film reel while you slept.
Tonight, you dreamt of Ellie. You dreamt of your noses pressed to the glass of your parent’s car window, heads tucked side by side as you pulled up to a building. Large bulky letters read out the museum's name on a sign in the blue sky. The sky was always more blue in your dreams.
You had been twelve— just turning Thirteen, mere months into meeting. Ellie’s hair was always pulled back into a ponytail back then, strands of deep reddish brown hair peeking out of the hair elastics. Even now, with the muddy and watercolor-like painting of your dream, you could count the freckles on dream Ellie’s cheeks. It was your birthday, and you had been carted with Ellie to the museum near your house. A promise of a day full of Ellie laughing and tugging you around to explain the space section to you ensued.
You dreamt of Ellie’s slightly sweaty palm intertwined with your own as she pulled you around the crowded floors, gasping as she swore under her breath at every exciting exhibit. You would hush her each time, hitting her arm— just like you still did today.
You dreamt of your favorite exhibit. The one that made you love the stars so much. You had entered a dark room, only you and Ellie. Her voice was hushed as she pointed out different star patterns painted in glowing colors on the wall. That was the moment you knew you wanted Ellie to be your best friend.
You dreamt of the green Dinosaur plush Ellie had paid for with crumbled-up money in the back pocket of her jeans at the gift shop. The one she had shoved into your arms and exclaimed, “Happy Birthday!”
When you woke up, your face was pressed into that exact stuffed animal. Though the once soft fur was a bit rough now, almost seven years older, it was still more comfortable than the pillows below your head. It still held that sense of nostalgia you laid to rest every night that other options didn’t.
Your eyes squeeze before they open, arms reaching to pull the dinosaur against your chest instead. You imagine it’s just as new as it had been the day Ellie got it for you. You imagine the sky is as blue as it was in your dream, that you and El were still those carefree pre-teens. But then your alarm goes off.
Fucking Mondays. Blinking a few times to adjust to the light pouring into your eyes, you reach blindly for your phone. Fingers wrap around it a moment later, the bright screen causing another wave of blurriness to your sleepy eyes. Even through the patchy vision, it's clear that you have a few notifications.
From Ellie.
Multiple. From last night.
“Fuck,” you groan out loud this time, gaining the attention of Dina from across the room. She’s already sitting up, scribbling away in a notebook that you assume to be rushed classwork.
“You ok?”
A hand comes to wipe across your face, rubbing the skin of your cheek gently. Dina asking is sweet, but you struggle to answer honestly. “I'm good, yea. I just have to see Ellie.”
You’re up and out of bed before Dina can ask further questions, stomach turning as you look at your phone screen again. The three separate texts make you feel a little sick, especially the last one that came hours later— likely when Ellie was already frustrated.
It shouldn’t make you so queasy, something as simple as sleeping through texts. But it was Ellie. You never missed Ellie’s texts like that. Especially not her asking you to come over.
You trip over the small rug near your bed as you rush to the connected bathroom to change, earning a gasped laugh from your roommate.
“Jesus, slow down,” she calls to you through the shut bathroom door, but you’re too focused on the task currently at hand— pulling the shirt over your head without bumping into something else.
Dina watches your panicked-looking face as you step back out into the floor of your shared bedroom a few moments later, her lips pursing in confusion.
“Did Ellie die or something?” Dina jokes with curious seeming eyes, pressing her notebook closed. “You’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off.”
You shake your head with a small half-assed smile, “No- I just uh- I forgot I promised to meet her this morning,” it seemed easier to lie than to admit your heart was in your throat because you slept through a movie invitation. Your hand goes for the sweatshirt bunched up on the floor, pressing your fingers into the cloth of the grey sleeves. It was a bit too warm to wear it, you know that, but there's a sense of comfort that soothes the aching in your stomach when it's pulled over your head, and you move to the door.
“Hey,” Dina pipes up as you step across the threshold, “Jesse and I are going to a friend’s tonight, Danny. He’s got some off campus apartment he’s having a little party at. Do you... Wanna come?” The question falls from Dina’s lips simply, her attention moving from your eyes to the top she's readjusts after a night of sleep. But the way her gaze flicks up a few times tells you that this was an important question for the brunette.
“On a Monday?”
“Oh!” your roommate’s nose crinkles as she mulls over the fact that yes-- it was in fact a Monday, which wasn't exactly the perfect day for a party. “Yea, I guess that’s not helping my case hm? I promise it won't be crazy. Dan’s friends are chill.”
You think about it for a second, shifting from one foot to another. It was a good opportunity to get closer to Dina. To maybe make some new friends you had come to have missing space for after Jade and you stopped talking, putting you down her and all her friends. But it was a Monday, and you definitely couldn’t have a hangover for your sociology lecture on Tuesday. Instead of pointing any of this out though, you find yourself instead asking...
“Can I bring Ellie?”
It seemed Dina was expecting this question, waving a hand your way. “Yea, I already told Jesse it’d be two people.” For some reason, that admission has your neck feeling a little hot. Your eyes find the wall to try and cover the awkward noise your throat makes.
“Ok.. yea, cool. I should be able to go. My last class is like three today.” Your feet bounce just lightly as you speak, which Dina notices.
Dina smiles, clapping her hands together. “Great. Now shoo before you start vibrating in your spot or something.”
You nod, offering another smile before your dash out into the hallway. Instead of turning and heading for Ellie’s dorm, you make a beeline for the elevator. It was early in the morning. Too early to show up pounding at Ellie’s door when she was likely grumpy from the sun and the previous night. No, you needed a peace offering.
﹒ ♡₊˚﹕﹒₊﹕﹒₊˚
That peace offering came in the shape of slightly cold dorm cafeteria french toast and waffles, tucked into a styrofoam takeout box. It was Ellie’s favorite, but she always woke up too late for them. Stingy college kids always stole them all before the first 9 am classes even started.
You held the styrofoam in your free hand as you reached forward to knock at the door. Before you could, it flew open-- both you and the person at the door jumping. You are met with the sight of dark hair and wide blinking brown eyes. Rose. They smile apologetically at you, repeating your name and different versions of ‘sorry’ as they press past you to get through the door.
Ellie’s roommate was sweet, but they were always running around with something to do, so you didn’t see much of them. At this point, Rose didn’t even question why you were always at their dorm-- you probably spent more time there anyway.
Your eyes follow as Rose hurries down the hallway, a nice distraction to the shuffling you hear from inside the now open door. “Hello?” a groggy voice asks. It forces you to look back to the doorway, met with the sight of a very sleepy looking Ellie. Her arms are crossed over her comic teeshirt-clad chest, hair messy behind her ears. You find yourself focusing on the straight line her lips are pulled into, and then the crease in between her furrowed eyebrows. You wonder for a moment if pressing your thumb to it would smooth it out.
“Hi..” you try, blinking at her as both your bodies shift into the dorm.
For a moment, it’s silent. You look around the dimly lit dorm you had seen a hundred times, acting like it was a brand new vision so you didn’t have to look at Ellie. Eventually though, you suck in a breath.
“You totally ignored my te-”
“I didn't see your tex-”
The two sentences lap over each other in unison, messy and rushed. Both voices are cut short when the opposite peaks. You let Ellie finish first, your mouth sealed shut.
“You ignored me last night,” Ellie mumbles, stepping toward her side of the room. The posters that cover the corner near her bed are starting to peel at the sides a little, and you have to fight the urge to ask if she has tape. Now is definitely not the time.
“I was talking to Dina then fell asleep, didn't ignore you,” you correct your friend, footsteps following her own. You still grip the take-out box as you watch Ellie tug a hair tie off her desk, fingers (you oddly couldn’t look away from) pulling the hair up into the usual bun.
“It was like barely even six or something, but whatever, I get it, roommate shit,” Ellie muttered-- as if she didn't know the exact time you stopped answering. As if she hadn’t had a mini breakdown over having to watch a shitty action movie alone.
You find a slight flame of annoyance in your gut, mixing with the guilt already settling there. “Ellie, I was tired I fell asleep. I'm sorry.”
Ellie, stubborn as ever, shrugs. “Yea, it’s whatever.”
“Don’t be like that,” you whine, hand reaching to grab at her wrist. The touch burns, even more when she pulls it away.
“I’m not being like anything.”
You groan, and the childish urge to stomp comes to mind, but you ignore it. “You're being all.. passive-aggressive.”
“I’m not. I said it’s ok, peach. Just stop.”
The nickname is a blatant attempt to make her annoyed tone a little less severe, something to ease the growing tension. You would like to say it didn’t work, but it did. You and Ellie were much better at avoiding the issues than dealing with them. Usually, they were painted over with sweet nicknames or offers to go out and do something. It always worked. You relax slightly and hold out the box for Ellie to see.
“I brought a peace offering. Knew you’d be all grumpy.” you wave the food box a little, pressing it closer to her chest.
Ellie scoffs as she grabs the box and sits on her bed. “I am not grumpy,” she mutters with a very grumpy-looking frown.
You kick a dirty shirt away from her bed as you sit next to her, settling on the blanket and watching her open the box.
“Waffles.. fuck yea!” She grabbed the waffle with her hands, like there wasn't a fork right there with the box, and bit into it. It makes your lip curl a little, but morning Ellie was not someone to be messed with, so you say nothing. Instead, you look around the room, your fingers playing with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. Not sure what to say next, you lick your lips.
“Uh, good peace offering?” Ellie nods in response, swallowing a mouth full of lukewarm waffle before speaking.
“I’ll give it a 5.5/10.”
You make a shocked face, mouth dropping open. “A five? I fought off like three hungover guys for these!” you shove her shoulder, earning a grumble.
“Yea, and you made me watch a movie alone,” Ellie takes another bite of her waffle.
The light feeling that began to build had dropped as quickly as your heart, a lump in your throat. “Yea, my bad.”
Ellie looks at you, jade eyes moving around your face as she swallows. “ ‘m joking, thank you..” her tone is just a tad softer, but you still feel all too itchy now, an urge to get up and go settling over your frame.
You nod, a slightly fake raise of your lips attempting to comfort her as you stand, “I have to get ready for class, but uh, I sort of told Dina we’d go to a party...Would that be a better peace offering?”
“Its a mon-”
“I know, I know, but please, El, I really wanna get close with Dina,” your voice borders on a beg, fingers pinching at your sweatshirt. “Weren’t you the one who encouraged me to?”
Ellie sighs at that, shrugging her shoulders. “Yeah, I guess I was. Shit- fine. But my astronomy class gets out later than your English. I cant drive you.”
It made you want to smile, the way Ellie had already memorized both of your schedules. The earlier discomfort from her slight attitude melted away as something warmer bloomed in your stomach.
Maybe you and Ellie were a bit dramatic. You had been told that many times actually. The way you could get so upset at each other for something simple and yet still fall all over each other the moment something sweet happened. Sometimes you wonder if other friends have these turbulent of feelings for each other, but you ignore it with a nod. “That’s fine. I’ll catch a ride with Dina.”
Ellie turns her head momentarily, shrugging and covering a slightly noticeable pout with an awkward reach for the french toast in the takeout box. “Just text me the address.”
You nod, saluting Ellie as you step into the dorm door. “Will do.”
Ellie rolls her eyes and shoos you off, “Get going.”
“Bye, love you El!” you shout through the door. The loving words came easily, something you had said every so often ever since you two were younger. Ellie didn’t say it as much, but you didn’t mind.
“Bye, peach,” Ellie called, the nickname receiving an eye roll. One she couldn’t see this time.
﹒ ♡₊˚﹕﹒₊﹕﹒₊˚
4:30 pm came too soon. By then, you were back at your dorm, shoving a stack of books on your already messy desk and flopping back on your bed.
“Who even has a party at 6 pm on a Monday?” you question your roommate, who was currently fixing the mascara she had applied. You words flow over the soft music Dina had turned on, a low hum from her desk.
“College students who have a slight alcohol dependency,” Dina shrugged.
“Fair enough,” you laugh, flipping onto your stomach to watch her walk around the orange-lit room. You hadn’t even begun to get up and get ready, focused instead on watching your roommate’s routine as she walked around.
“It's only gonna be like fifteen people or something,” Dina shrugs as she pulls out a chapstick tube, applying it over her lips.
“Hm..” you nod like that made it any better. Fifteen people you had probably never met before, when you were tired from classes. Yea. You would definitely need a drink.
Dina looked over at you, a grin spreading on her lips as she walked over to you, her fingers gripping your wrist. “Get up. Jesse’s gonna be here soon!”
“I don’t even know what to wear,” you whine, letting your roommate drag you into a sitting position as you meet her eyes. They narrow, and she tugs you again, this time to stand.
“Just wear that! Well, take off the sweatshirt but jeans and a shirt is fine. That’s what I'm wearing.” Dina shrugs as she lets her fingers reach for the bottom of your sweatshirt, the pout never leaving your lips. You didn’t want to remove it, but she urged you to with a friendly tug.
“C'mon, show me your closet. I’ll help you pick a shirt.”
﹒ ♡₊˚﹕﹒₊﹕﹒₊˚
When you got into the back of Jesse’s car, you completely shut down. Your lips were shut so long you swore they may have stuck together. He was friendly, sure! He cracked jokes you betted Ellie would laugh at, he complimented Dina’s outfit as soon as you got in the car, and grinned when you introduced yourself. But you had taken more than a week to openly speak to your roommate, so her boyfriend wasn’t exactly the easiest to chat to.
Dina didn’t mind, making sure to include you every now and again in whatever conversation the two had going, smiling back at you from the passenger seat as you pressed into the black cushion of Jesse’s car. You found yourself staring out the window, eyes flitting over each street lamp they passed, watching as the sky dimmed just lightly as the minutes seemed to drag by.
Eventually, the car stopped outside an apartment complex, and you peered through the glass at the tall buildings. Jesse pulled the keys from the car as he rushed out and around the other side. It was too late for what he was planning, Dina opening the door right as he reached for it, in turn smacking the metal door right in the stomach and face.
“Ow! Babe!”
Dina covered her mouth with a hand, a muffled snicker only slightly concealed. “Why the fuck did you run into the door?”
Jesse looked at his girlfriend incredulously, rubbing his sore nose, “I was trying to be a gentleman!”
“Since when were you a gentleman?” Dina questioned as she stepped out of the car; you only a moment behind as your feet found the gravel under you.
Jesse calls your name, eyes directed at you. “C’mon. Back me up. You saw me going to open the door right?”
Your nose scrunched, lips parting for the first time in too long, “I kinda did, yea..”
The boy makes a quick motion with his hands to say ‘see?’, Dina shakes her head as she steps back, arm looping yours. The touch makes you stiffen a bit, but Dina’s always warm smile calms you.
“Stop using my roommate in your little lies,” she muttered, though the smile never faltered as you walked up to a ground-floor apartment door. Jesse mumbles a few nonserious complaints as he knocks at the wooden door.
It opens quickly, a ginger guy who seemed about your age answering, cheeks full of freckles raising into a smile. It makes you wonder when Ellie will be here.
“Dee! Jesse!” The boy greets, eyes finding yours, “Oh and Dee’s roommate!”
Dina rolls her eyes as she pulls you inside the cooled apartment, your skin pricking slightly. At least it wasn’t humid like all those frat parties Jade brought you to. You still find yourself wishing you had your sweatshirt, though. “She's got a name, Danny..” your roommate chastises before introducing you two.
“Her friend’s coming later,” Dina explains as she leads you into a living room that looks much too small to house fifteen or so tipsy college students. You guess the attached kitchen will act as more space, with a few plates of snacks and bottles already stacked on the island.
You let the conversation that begins between the three friends about when everyone will be here filter out as you explore the area with your eyes. A couch and a few seats... you could probably hide away on one of those..
Your plan to avoid human contact is quickly ended when Jesse shoves a glass in front of your face, “Drink?”
Your fingers wrap around the glass without a second thought. Alcohol was your friend tonight, the only one until Ellie arrived. Usually, the only two things that could make you talkative, you had to settle for it. “Thanks,” you mumble, groaning as the taste of Titos with too little coke finds your throat.
Ok, you could do this.
﹒ ♡₊˚﹕﹒₊﹕﹒₊˚
Ellie couldn’t decide what flannel to wear. Maybe that sounds crazy. It’s a flannel, not a suit— for some small get-together. But she wondered which you would recognize first. Not that she cared about you liking her clothes or anything.
This indecision is what got her in the current situation, sitting outside the address you had given with two flannels in her hand.
Her car was cold, and the wifepleaser she wore without any coverage didn’t exactly stop the goosebumps from finding her skin. A scowl came to her face as she inspected the brown and blue shirts.
“Fuck it,” she groaned, tossing both options into her passenger side as she instead leaned over to the back, grabbing the black sweatshirt she’d worn to classes today. Ellie brought it to her nose, checking it didn’t smell or anything— and shrugged. “Good enough,” she muttered to herself before pulling it on and leaving the car.
It felt odd, to be walking up to a door she didn’t know, especially without you. She may be constantly telling you to put yourself out there, but Ellie was just a big hypocrite. It’s not like she really did anything totally spontaneous either, aside from a few club outings or drunk hookups. She had s lot to say about you putting yourself out here, but here she was, playing nervously with her fingers outside a party.
One quick check of the two of your texts confirmed the metal letters next to the door were correct, so she knocked rather harshly.
Immediately Ellie regretted that, cheeks pink as she pulled the hand away. There's a chorus of voices and shuffling behind the wood, and Ellie finds herself searching for yours.
Instead, a taller man opens the door, black hair messy, cheeks slightly flushed from what Ellie assumes to be drinks.
“Hey, uh—“ his head turns, searching behind him. Ellie thinks she may slam her head on the wall right then, embarrassed by the obvious fact this guy had no fucking clue who Ellie was.
The embarrassment from this didn’t last long; the man stepped to the side slightly as a booming voice interrupted them. This embarrassment cut much deeper into Ellie’s stomach. It painted her cheeks bright red.
“ELLIEEEE!” a voice shouts. She finds you, eyes wide and smile on your face as you open your arms. Oh you are so fucking drunk, aren’t you? You rush toward the auburn-haired girl, wrapping her into a tight hug, your arms pressing around her in a way that had her cursing her family for passing over the wobbly knees over pretty girls gene.
God, she has got to stop calling you pretty.
Ellie stumbles back with the force of your attack, patting your back awkwardly as her chin juts down to your shoulder.
Ellie's eyes meet the black-haired guy again, “She drunk?” she asks as you sway the both of you. The way you shove her chest and scoff gives her an answer. You only got offended at the accusation when you were drunk.
“I am not drunk! Just a little tipsy.”
The guy behind you makes a ’so so’ motion with his hand, drawing a grin out of Ellie.
“Righttt..” Ellie nods, letting you unwrap yourself from her. She watches as your head turns, “Oh! Ellie, this is Jesse, Dina’s boyfriend.. Jesse, this is Ellie,” you make a few awkward looks between the two, huffing.
Jesse smiles at Ellie, nodding his head to the hall. “I’ll meet you two in the living room!”
“Yea, yea sure,” Ellie nods and smiles the best she can manage when you trip over your feet back into her. The annoyance that had layered her being earlier in the morning was steadily decreasing as your eyelashes fluttered, staring at you. How could she stay angry at you for .. ‘missing’.. her texts when you looked so pr—
So nice.
“They’re so cool, El,” you whispered to her, hand finding her arm. You had a tendency of becoming touchy when you got a drink or two in you, and usually that affected Ellie, the one closest to you most times. “Yea?” she asks in response
It wasn’t like Ellie minded it. If anything, she would rather it be here you got all.. grabby with. A memory of you clinging to Jade a few times last year came to the forefront of Ellie’s ever-moving mind, making bile rise in her throat. Instead of thinking about why, she just bumped your shoulder, eyeing the shirt you wore. It wasn’t your usual style, nor a shirt she had seen you wear before. You seemed to notice Ellie’s gaze, clapping a hand on the red fabric.
“It’s Dina’s,” you explain, leading Ellie into a now slightly stuffy living room. The porch door was open now. A few people squished into the small outdoor space, and a few others in the kitchen. Though the main group was all huddled on the couches, chatting and laughing in a way that seemed much too close for Ellie and you to interrupt.
Even in your tipsy state, Ellie felt you shy away slightly, until Dina’s head popped up from a seat and grinned. “Over there,” you hum— again dragging Ellie with you.
Ellie kind of knew Dina. In a ‘I have a class or two with you and we have smiled at each other in the dorm hallway’ sort of way, due only to the shared face they both knew— you. Dina seemed sweet enough, even if you hadn’t yet babbled about that to Ellie.
Dina seemed nice, so Ellie shouldn’t feel a swoop in her stomach when you returned the smile to your roommate, but she did. The feeling bubbles in Ellie’s throat for only a moment before she swallows it down with a huff as you pull her to sit on her couch.
“Hey, Ellie,” Dina greets the girl when the two of you sit, her mouth then coming to wrap around the cup in her hand.
“Hey, Dina,” Ellie nods her head, looking around at the group.
You pipe in before the silence can get too awkward, a grin lacing your pretty lips. “Dina and Jesse were arguing over what movie to watch b’fore you got here,” you explain, head leaning toward Ellie’s shoulder. She moves it before your cheek can find the sweatshirt clad skin, a frown replacing the curl of your lips.
Dina uses this as an opportunity to delve right back into what seemed to be a half hearted argument, head shaking. “He wants to watch Jurassic Park for the like fifteenth fucking time,” she glared at Jesse, who Ellie could guess was her boyfriend.
“Hey,” Ellie butts in, “Jurassic Park is good.”
“Thank you!” Jesse shouts. “Someone with good fucking taste!”
Dina scoffed, “Maybe the first time, not the fifteenth. I said we should watch a horror movie,” the ponytail-wearing girl explained. Ellie is listening to the argument, sure, but she’s mainly focused on how your cheeks raise a bit every time either of the couple says something funny.
“Ellie,” a voice calls the girl out of her little daze, green eyes finding the lips that had asked the question, Dina’s.
“Huh?”
“I asked what your favorite movie is. Jesse thinks you must have great taste since you like Jurassic Park.”
“Shawshank Redemption,” Ellie says without thinking— the answer she always gave when people asked.
You make a noise beside her, shaking your head quickly. “Oh fuck off Ellie,” your eyes find Dina and Jesse, “She’s totally lying. Just saying that ‘cuz Joel likes it, and it’s not lame.”
The couple doesn’t question who Joel is, but the little comment has Ellie biting her lip in embarrassment.
“Her favorite movie is like—the Star Wars prequels,” you continue.
“they are not!” Ellie quickly shouts, shoving you. Dina smiles a little at the act, sharing a glance with Jesse that has Ellie looking a little flushed.
“You’re just saying that because I told you It was one of the movies that made me gay,” Ellie accuses, making you roll your eyes.
“You made me watch that shit every Friday for like two years cause of Padme. Think we’ve watched shawshank like once. And it was with Joel.”
“Oooh, your girl’s calling you a liar,” Jesse whistled, leaning forward from his place perched on the side of the couch.
Your girl. The words wrap around Ellie’s throat in a way that makes it hard to breathe, nails of each syllable digging into the freckles in her neck.
Don't go there.
“She thinks I lie about everything, worst friend ever,” Ellie sighs, the friend part coming out a little too forced.
“I am the best friend ever,” you shake your head, “You just lie a lot.”
“I’ve never lied in my whole life!”
Ellie is met with a harsh pinch on her arm, yelping as she feels the burn. “Ow!”
You stick your tongue out childishly, leaning into Dina to protect yourself when Ellie’s hand reaches out to punch you.
The fight is interrupted when a new person joins the group, ginger and tall. “We’re playing spin the bottle,” he points to the group forming on the carpet, Ellie’s nose tilting up a bit. Spin the bottle, really?
“Lameee,” Dina calls, arms wrapping around you as you gasp.
“Wait, no, that sounds fun! We should play!” you say, shocking both Ellie and Dina.
“We need to get vodka in you more often,” Dina claps your shoulder and raises into a more proper position. Ellie has to bite back an annoyed scoff. You definitely didn't need to be like this more often.
Sure, Ellie wanted you to find more comfort in being outgoing, but she didn’t want you to find that in the bottom of a cup of vodka and coke.
“El, play with us?” you question, eyeing the freckled face.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” She agrees, though it’s mostly so she can sit next to you and maybe mind-control the bottle to steer clear of your direction.
All three of you, followed by Jesse and then the ginger, stand and make your way to the smaller group on the ground. The ginger introduces them all, But Ellie isn't paying much mind. Instead, she focuses on getting you to sit without stumbling.
“How much vodka did you have, peach?” she mumbles against your ear so no one else can hear.
“Uh, like two mixed drinks? I'm fine, just overtired.” You push off her accusations of being drunk again, grinning lightly at her as if it would prove you were sober somehow.
Ellie doesn't respond, eyeing Dina as she takes the spot next to you on the other side, and then Jesse next to her. She was surprised the couple was playing, but the way Dina made an ‘Im watching you’ motion to Jesse told her enough they weren't taking the game too seriously.
It made her a bit jealous, how comfortable and.. not possessive a couple like that could be with each other. Yet here she was, a sick stomach just from the thought of a girl that was only her friend kissing someone. She needed to get a fucking grip.
“Ok, who first?” a brunette girl across from Ellie asks, eyeing the empty beer bottle in the middle. The ginger volunteered, and Ellie clocked out again.
She had no interest in watching a bunch of straight people kiss each other drunkenly, instead eyeing the posters and paintings on the living room walls. She took a few photos of space she recognized, and some movie posters that looked like they were from the 80’s. Whoever lived here seemed to have good taste. Ellie eyed the group curiously, wondering who it may be.
About five minutes later, Ellie returned to earth when someone said your name. “You wanna go next?” The ginger man asked, to which you nodded— thought a little less enthusiastically now. Maybe the vodka had begun to sweat its way out of you, or maybe watching a bunch of people kiss before now had made you a little less excited. Ellie couldn't be sure which.
Ellie watches as your fingers wrap around the bottle, shaking enough that only she would really notice. The girl thinks she may actually pass out from how hard she holds her breath.
When it begins to slow down, it’s almost right back to yourself, and Ellie starts to think she actually can mind control things. But instead, almost worse than it landing on anyone else, it lands right on her.
Everyone around you two whoops, and she can hear Dina’s voice carrying over everyone else’s.
It’s probably a little funny to look at the two reactions. Your face pulled into a shit-eating grin, puckering your lips and pressing your hands to the ground so you could lean closer. And then Ellie’s, face dropped like she had seen a ghost of a loser lesbian’s past.
Honestly, Ellie did—the ghost of a particular memory from her fifteenth year.
You lean in, nose brushing Ellie’s. Her ears go deaf, ringing as your breath puffs against her shaking lips. Right as they begin to touch, a fire rips between the small space of air there. A fire that has Ellie almost yelping out loud, pulling right back before she can taste the vanilla bean of your chapstick flavor.
“Hey!” you cry out, obviously not taking this as seriously as Ellie. No, you seemed more annoyed that she ruined the game. But she was pressing her fingers into the floor, burning from the way it hurt the flesh there to stop the hammering in her chest.
This was a totally normal reaction, Ellie decided, definitely.
“You ruined the game!” you cry, shoving Ellie’s shoulder enough to have her blinking quickly.
Dina shoves a shot glass in front of Ellie’s face before she can settle the heartbeat in her ears.
“You pussy out, you drink,” the brunette singsongs.
“I’m driving,” Ellie turns her head, standing up. Your eyes follow her, burning into the side of her cheek as she wipes sweaty palms on her jeans.
The mood dampens, but only for you and Ellie. The rest of the group goes back to playing. Ellie knows by the gasp that wafts through her pounding eardrums as she begins to walk away.
Soon, the stomping footsteps of your tipsy self follow behind. “El,” you whisper yell, grasping her arm. This time, Ellie lets you.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” You ask, eyes searching the red-tinted freckles on her face. “I didn’t mean to. It was just a game. I'm just trying to impre—”
“It’s fine,” Ellie assures you, faking the best smile she can. It should be honest; she has no reason to be upset right now. But she is. Her chest aches with the urge to go back in time and just let you do it.
“I'm just really tired, not in the partying mood.”
“Then let's go home,” you say quickly, probably searching to ease the discomfort Ellie knows she’s radiating. “I’ll stay at your dorm tonight, ok?”
God, Ellie’s such a fucking goner.
“Yea, ok. You’re definitely drunk anyway.”
“I am not!” you pout, releasing Ellie from your bruising grip. “Let me go tell Dina, I’ll be back.”
Ellie watches as you trip a bit over your feet, a habit you really need to shake, and sighs.
The silent show is not long-lasting, the brunette from the circle earlier arriving at Ellie’s side. She had kind eyes, and a bottle of water in her hand.
“Hey, it’s Ellie right?” she asks. Ellie finds herself watching the blue in her eyes.
“Yea,” Ellie nodded.
“You taking her home?” the girl asks again, in reference to you. She hands the water bottle to Ellie. “Give her this, don’t think she’s had any.”
Ellie grips the water bottle, squeezing it a bit. “Uh, thanks.”
“No problem,” she grins, one almost like yours. “My roommate’s always throwing these things and then never giving people water,” the blue eyes roll.
Ellie perked up at that, “You live here?” She thinks again of the space decorations in the living room.
“Yeah!” the brunette smiles again, “Me and Danny. I'm Luna,” she explains.
“Oh shit, wait,” Ellie’s eyebrows furrow together, “Luna..” something clicks in the green-eyed girl’s mind. “We have that physics class together, don’t we?
Luna seemed a little flushed, “Oh.. y-yea-”
The rest of her sentence falls on deaf ears when you trample into the hallway again, all senses only honing in on you, like usual. You seem to pause for a moment, eyeing the two others in the hallway.
But soon, you’re moving right by Luna, arm wrapping around Ellie’s. “Told Dina, all good to go,” you wipe a hand over your face with a little dramatized yawn.
“Thank Luna,” Ellie says again before she grabs you right back, leading you out the front door.
“You have got to stop drinking vodka. You know how you get,” Ellie mutters against you when the cool night air hits her already raised skin.
“I wanted to have fun!”
“Yea, good luck with fun tomorrow at your lecture.”
“Skippingggg it,” you mumble as Ellie ushers you into the passenger seat, the door squeaking like usual. Your ass lifts to grab the two shirts under it. “Why are there flannels in here?”
“Uh—” Ellie flushes, “I dunno.” She shuts your door before getting into her own side.
“Mm..” you sigh, already pressing your cheek to the cold glass of her window. “Who was that girl you were talking to?” you ask as the purr of the engine starts. Ellie throws the water bottle in your lap.
“A classmate, drink that.”
You look at Ellie for a moment, and Ellie stares right back. “.. Ok.”
﹒ ♡₊˚﹕﹒₊﹕﹒₊˚
“Shhh,” Ellie mutters, ushering you through the dark dorm hallway. “Can I wear your bear shirt? The super oversized one?” you babble, knocking yourself into Ellie’s door with a yelp.
“You’re such a fucking dumbass,” Ellie snickers, making quick work of unlocking the door while you nurse the bump on your head.
“Shhhh!” you mock her, flipping the light switch of her dorm on. Your finger presses to your lip in a quiet motion, kicking your shoes off. Rose wasn't here, as usual.
Ellie’s throwing the shirt with a cartoon bear at you before you lift yourself back up, and you happily tug Dina’s shirt off. Ellie is flipping away before the fire in her chest can return, throwing a pair of sweatpants behind her head so she doesn’t have to look.
“Ow!” you cry, probably from a large jumble of grey fabric hitting you.
Ellie pulls off her sweatshirt and changes her jeans for some shorts, counting to sixty before she turns around. Just to be safe.
You were already lying in her bed, pressing on the right side near the wall, eyes fluttering shut.
Ellie watches you for a moment, watches how your fingers grip at one of the blankets on her bed, thumb rubbing over it. She noticed the self-soothing motion of that years ago, how you always rubbed something between your fingers. The sleeve of your shirt, a pillow corner, a blanket. Sometimes, Ellie wishes it was her arm you did it to instead.
Don't go there.
The light flicks off, drowning the room in only the hue that came from the little pink nightlight on her roommate’s side of the dorm. Ellie is sleepily making her way to the bed, eyes catching on your now sleeping figure.
Alcohol also made you sleep really fucking easy. Ellie learned that prom night when you fell asleep in the car to the afterparty.
She watches how your lips part slightly as you breathe, and swears out loud. “Fuck.”
Ellie is so fucked. She wanted to snap her fingers and get a do-over. Wanted to be back in that loud house, back to smelling the vodka on your breath as you leaned in. She wanted to try again.
But she can’t, and she shouldn’t. So she climbs into bed next to you, pulls the blanket from between your thumb, and lets you shift, turning in bed to face the wall. She lays the blanket over you and sucks in a shaky breath.
She watches your back and presses her eyes closed to try and remove the overwhelming vision of you that invades every single one of her waking moments. And the ones after that.
Ellie falls asleep watching your back, and wonders if that’s all she will ever get.
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pixiefelixie · 8 days ago
Text
𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "THURSDAY"
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𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 
pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, blood tw! (nosebleed), extra long chapter this week important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.
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chapter under the cut! ~18k words
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day 5 - 8:00
the rain wept against the windows, silver streaks tracing ephemeral paths down the glass, blurring the world beyond into a watercolor dream of grays and blues. the sky hung heavy, stretched like damp silk over the restless sea, the waves rolling in slow, sleepy undulations. you stood by the window, arms loosely folded around yourself, watching as droplets merged and parted—tiny rivers colliding and splitting apart, like the way your thoughts tangled, unraveled, and knotted again. the beach stretched out below, the waves churning softly under the darkened sky, a stormy beauty that still managed to captivate you. the world outside felt hushed, like the storm had pressed a finger to its lips, demanding quiet. 
felix had already been up, slipping away earlier to take a shower. you’d heard the faint creak of his door as he’d retreated to his room afterward. you found yourself moving, feet barely making a sound against the floorboards as you crossed the living room. when you reached his door, you hesitated, fingers ghosting over the wood before giving a soft knock.
“come in,” came his voice, low and familiar, slightly muffled by the barrier between you.
you pushed the door open, stepping into his room just as he was pulling a shirt over his head. the fabric slid down slowly, revealing a fleeting glimpse of his toned stomach, the sculpted lines that had never caught your attention quite like this before. the shirt settled into place, hugging his frame, and your breath hitched. you’d seen him shirtless so many times before—at the beach, wandering casually around the house—but now, something about it felt... different.
felix ran a hand through his still-damp hair, stray droplets sliding down his temples, catching the light. he looked at you then, lips curling into that familiar smile. “hey.”
“hi, felix,” you said softly, your voice carrying an edge of shyness you hadn’t expected.
you crossed the room and when you reached him, you wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing your cheek to his chest. his damp hair clung in wild streaks to his forehead, droplets sliding down his temples like they envied the way his cheekbones caught the light. the faintest sheen of moisture made his skin glow, and the cotton of his oversized t-shirt draped over his torso. you could see the faint trace of his collarbone, the way his neck tensed—was he always this... hot?
what was happening to you?
felix’s arms were around you before you could even register the shift, his touch feather-light but deliberate. his hands settled on your shoulders first, then slid up slowly to cup your face. his thumbs brushed along your jawline, his fingers curving to cradle you as though you were made of something fragile and precious. the way he tilted his head sent a ripple of heat down your spine—his lips parting slightly, his gaze flickering down to your mouth before rising to meet your eyes again. time slowed, and for a moment, you could feel the air shift between you, charged and heavy with something you couldn’t name but felt all the way to your core.
and then he leaned in.
his lips were soft, warm, and the gentleness of the kiss only magnified the intensity building inside you. you melted into him, your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you upright.
it was innocent, a kiss that carried no expectations, but the effect it had on you was anything but. the room spun, every sensation heightened—his scent wrapping around you like a cocoon, the warmth of his hands against your skin, the steady beat of his heart you could still feel beneath your palms. your chest tightened, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you leaned into the kiss, letting it consume you. 
when felix pulled back, his lips curved up into a soft smile, his gaze catching yours for just a second longer than necessary, and then he straightened, letting his hands fall casually to his sides. he chuckled lightly, breaking the silence with a voice so effortlessly casual it almost made you doubt what had just happened. “good morning,” he said, his tone warm, like the kiss had been no more significant than a passing breeze.
your heart hammered against your ribs as you stared at him, blinking, trying to piece together how something so fleeting had felt like the ground beneath you shifting. he reached up, running a hand through his damp hair again, his eyes flicking toward the window where rain was softly streaking down the glass.
“looks like it’s been pouring all morning,” he said, his voice light, conversational, as though he hadn’t just stolen the breath from your lungs and left your world tilted on its axis. “i was planning to go for a run, but…” he gestured lazily toward the window, shrugging, the motion causing his shirt to ride up just enough to reveal a flash of skin.
“hmm?” you managed to murmur when you realized he was looking at you, waiting for some kind of response. his expression was relaxed, open, like nothing had changed for him. maybe it hadn’t. maybe it was just you, your every nerve ending suddenly tuned to felix, every touch, every word from him magnified to a point you could barely handle.
“yeah,” you said, though you weren’t sure what you were agreeing to. 
felix chuckled, the sound low and warm, and it rippled through you like the aftershock of an earthquake. you wanted to say something, anything to fill the silence stretching between you, but words felt clumsy and irrelevant.
before you could gather yourself, a sharp crack of thunder split the air, so loud and sudden that both of you jolted. your eyes widened, and you caught felix doing the same, his hand instinctively shooting out to steady himself against the edge of the window ledge. he turned to look at you, his lips twitching into a crooked grin as he shook his head. “did not see that coming,” he said, his voice tinged with laughter.
the rain outside had escalated from a steady rhythm to a full-blown torrent. sheets of water streaked down the glass, blurring the world beyond into a wash of grays and blues with the palm tree fronds being violently pulled by the wind. felix shifted closer to the window, his brows knitting together as he peered out. you moved to stand beside him, the two of you now shoulder to shoulder, watching as the wind hurled rain against the window with an almost violent intensity. lightning lit up the sky in a brief, jagged flash, followed closely by another deep rumble of thunder that seemed to shake the very walls.
“feels like the kind of storm you’d see in a movie,” you muttered quietly, as if speaking too loudly might provoke the tempest outside. his hand brushed against yours where it rested on the windowsill, the contact so fleeting that it could have been accidental—but it still sent a spark racing up your arm.
felix’s eyes lit up so suddenly that it startled you. his mouth parted slightly, and he turned to you with an intensity that made your breath catch. you knew that look—the one he got when an idea hit him out of nowhere, so consuming that nothing else existed.
“what?” you asked, already wary.
he didn’t answer right away. his gaze flicked between your face and the window, as if piecing something together in his head. then, a slow grin spread across his face—one of those mischievous, boyish ones that always meant trouble.
before you could demand an explanation, felix grabbed the hem of his shirt and, without hesitation, yanked it over his head.
your brain short-circuited.
“what the—felix?!” the words tumbled out of you before you could stop them, your voice slightly higher than normal.
he shook out his damp hair like a golden retriever, completely unbothered. the stormy light filtering through the window cast soft shadows over his collarbones, the lean, toned lines of his stomach. a stray drop of water slid down his neck, tracing a slow, meandering path across his chest. you absolutely should not have been watching it.
but you were.
heat crept up your neck, betraying you completely.
“felix?” you blinked, trying to snap yourself out of it as he suddenly bolted for the hallway like a man on a mission. “what are you—?”
“we need to go out there right now!” he called over his shoulder, voice practically vibrating with excitement.
you frowned, still rooted in place. “huh?”
felix didn’t wait to explain. he skidded to a stop outside the storage room and flung the door open with a flourish, vanishing inside before you could get another word in. the faint sound of clattering echoed down the hall. seconds later, he reappeared, grinning like he’d just unearthed buried treasure. in his hands were two surfboards, one propped under his armpit and the other held out toward you like some kind of offering.
“the waves!” he said, his words tumbling out in an excited rush. “they’re gonna be amazing with this storm coming in! we can’t miss it!”
you stared at him, incredulous. “you want to surf? in this weather?” you gestured toward the window. the wind whipped through the palm trees with a ferocity that sent fronds flying, and the dark clouds above promised nothing short of chaos. it looked like the kind of storm that fishermen whispered about in seaside bars.
felix nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “exactly! you don’t get waves like this every day,” he said.
you let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking your head. “you’re insane,” you muttered, though the familiar tug of excitement in your chest was already betraying you. felix had this... thing about him, this ability to make even the most ridiculous ideas sound like the kind of adventures you’d regret not taking. and maybe that’s why you found yourself leaning into his chaos more often than not.
“come on!” he urged, bouncing on the balls of his feet now. he extended the second surfboard toward you, shaking it slightly like he thought you might be tempted by the sheer proximity of it.
you crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. “if we get electrocuted, it’s your fault.”
“deal,” he said immediately, his grin only growing wider as if you’d just signed up for the time of your life.
with a resigned sigh, you gave in, peeling off your t-shirt and shorts to reveal your swimsuit beneath. it has become second nature to wear it under your clothes while staying at the beach. the cool air brushed against your skin, sending a shiver up your spine, but it was nothing compared to the way felix was looking at you.
his eyes lingered for a heartbeat too long, a small, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. he opened his mouth like he might say something, then seemed to think better of it. instead, he simply leaned in, his voice dropping to a soft whisper, barely audible over the howling wind outside. “come on,” he said, the words carrying an almost conspiratorial tone as you took the board out of his hand.
felix barely hit the back door before it flung open, the wind catching it hard. the storm outside roared to life, rain hammering down in thick sheets. the second your foot hit the sand, the cold punched through you like a live wire, drenching your clothes in an instant.
"shit—!" the shock forced a yelp out of you, but then—then the thrill took over. the chaos of it, the sting of cold rain against your skin, the wildness of the wind tearing through the night. laughter bubbled up before you could stop it. the kind of laughter that made your ribs ache, that made the storm feel less like a warning and more like an invitation.
felix, already a soaked mess, chuckled back, his hair plastered to his forehead in dark, dripping strands. the rain didn't seem to faze him at all. it was as if the storm made everything more alive, more real. you followed him down the stairs, your feet slipping slightly on the wet steps as the rain came down harder.
felix was already running toward the shore, his enthusiasm infecting every step. the wet sand squelched beneath his feet as he picked up speed. he put down his board with a soft thud, tossing it onto the sand. his laughter rang out, mixing with the roar of the storm as he threw his arms wide to embrace the pouring rain.
"race you!" you shouted over the sound of the crashing waves, a wide grin spreading across your face as you strapped the leash onto your ankle.
felix looked momentarily caught off guard, his eyes widening as he tried to process your challenge, but it only took a second before he snapped back. “what?!” he yelled, barely able to finish the sentence before you sprinted ahead, the storm adding an extra layer of exhilaration to the race.
with a burst of energy, you made it to the water first. without hesitation, you threw yourself onto your board, the coolness of the sea making your heart race even faster. the board’s surface was slick beneath your chest as you paddled with determination, the saltwater splashing around you, urging you forward.
felix, now just a few steps behind, didn’t miss a beat. he threw his board into the water with a grunt and quickly followed your lead, paddling furiously to catch up. you could hear his laughter cutting through the noise of the waves, his joy contagious as the two of you battled the current together.
a massive wave loomed ahead, its towering presence sending a thrill of both fear and excitement through you. the sound of the ocean filled your ears, muffling everything else as you ducked beneath the water, your body moving with the rhythm of the ocean. for a moment, the world above the surface felt like a distant memory, replaced by the peaceful bubbling sounds of the stormy sea surrounding you.
when you surfaced, gasping for air, the storm felt almost more beautiful than before. the waves were relentless, but so were you. you glanced at felix, his face filled with a mix of determination and exhilaration. his eyes were wide with excitement as he nodded to you, signaling that another big wave was coming, and you both needed to get ready.
together, you turned towards the shore, the pounding waves pushing against you, urging you to move faster. you paddled with everything you had, your muscles burning with effort, but the water was relentless, its pressure urging you forward. your heart pounded in your chest, the sound of your breath mingling with the storm.
at this point, the rain was the furthest thing from your mind. you could feel the pull of the water beneath you, the coldness of the sea threatening to drag you under, but you were determined to keep moving forward.
suddenly, you saw it. the perfect wave surged ahead, its towering form breaking the horizon. your eyes widened as you exchanged a look with felix. his face was a mask of pure excitement, his eyes sparkling with a thrill you could hardly ignore. without a word, he flashed you a grin, his smile wide and full of confidence, and that was all you needed. together, you turned away from the wave, both of you preparing for the ride of your life.
your heart pounded in your chest, anticipation thrumming through you. you arched your back, shifting your body on the board, your legs instinctively finding the right stance. the water surged beneath you, a powerful force pushing you toward the shore. your feet were unsure on the board at first since you haven’t surfed since last year, but with every passing second, you felt your body find its center. you spread your feet further apart, grounding yourself as the wave built behind you, ready to launch you forward.
the board glided smoothly over the water, the wave carrying you effortlessly toward the shore. your heart raced, adrenaline coursing through your veins as the wind whipped around you. felix’s laughter rang out behind you, and you could hear him urging you forward, encouraging you as you both rode the wave together. the thrill of it was beyond anything you had ever experienced, and you couldn’t help but smile.
the waves were enormous, driven by the fierce wind, each one towering higher and crashing down with a powerful force. the water beneath your board was alive, a swirling mass of energy that propelled you forward with exhilarating speed. the surface of the ocean undulated, creating peaks and troughs that challenged your balance and skill, but also filled you with a sense of wild freedom.
suddenly, you heard felix's voice cutting through the chaos, yelling out your name. you glanced over just in time to see felix attempting a 360 turn on his board. his movements were fluid and confident, but as he spun, the wave's powerful momentum caught him off guard. he lost his balance, his board slipping out from under him, and he wiped out spectacularly, disappearing into the churning water.
you couldn't help but laugh, the sound mingling with the crashing waves. you lay flat on your board, momentarily catching your breath and savouring the thrill of the ride. the waves continued to surge around you, their immense power a reminder of nature's raw, untamed beauty. you watched as felix resurfaced, shaking the water from his hair and grinning sheepishly.
the ocean swelled once more, the biggest wave yet forming in the distance. 
you knew you had to take this on. 
paddling forward, you felt the wave lift you up, its crest towering above you like a moving mountain. you rose to your feet, the force of the water beneath you a powerful, exhilarating rush.
the wave surged beneath you, pushing you forward with a force that made your heart race. you leaned into the movement, carving your board effortlessly through the water, each turn more fluid than the last. the sound of the ocean was drowned out by the rush of wind in your ears as you sliced through the wave, the water spraying around you in a dazzling mist. the thrill was electric, each movement feeling sharper, more connected to the pulse of the ocean.
suddenly, the air seemed to crack open. 
a lightning strike flashed right in front of your eyes at the shoreline, so close it felt like the air itself had cracked open. your expression went blank with shock, and you frantically looked over at felix. his face mirrored your fear, eyes wide with terror.
in that moment, every instinct screamed to keep moving, but all you could do was stare at the water beneath you, unable to tear your eyes away from the swirling depths. the waves, once thrilling and empowering, now seemed ominous, like a waiting predator. you had heard it over and over when you first started surfing—never look down—because the board will always follow your gaze. but now, your eyes were locked on the dark, churning water below, as if looking for an answer, or maybe a way out.
and just like that, the board slipped out from under you.
you didn’t wipe out in the graceful way you'd hoped for; instead, your board was violently thrown back at you, striking your face with a painful thud. the impact knocked the wind out of you, and before you could react, the force of it sent you hurtling downward, into the depths of the ocean.
the world above you faded away as you sank, the crashing waves muffled into eerie quiet. it felt like the water was swallowing you whole, the pressure building in your chest, the world spinning in slow motion. your nose throbbed with an unbearable ache, the taste of saltwater filling your mouth as you accidentally swallowed a mouthful of the briny liquid. panic surged through you as your vision blurred, and your mind screamed for air.
instinctively, you kicked your legs, swimming toward what you hoped was the surface, though everything felt like it was spinning out of control. you reached out, your hands clawing through the water, and for a split second, you couldn’t tell if you were swimming up or down. you didn’t have the time to think about that.
breaking through the surface, you gasped for air, coughing violently into your hand. blood smeared across your palm and mixed with the water, spreading out in tendrils. felix's voice cut through the chaos, shouting your name. "look, baby, i know this has been fun. but we seriously need to head home now, did you see how close that lightning strike was!" the panic in his voice was unmistakable, but he didn’t know what had happened to you.
you could barely register his words, your head still spinning. you were too disoriented to respond. instead, you kept your head low, one arm draped weakly over your board as the waves jostled you. the storm wasn’t just around you anymore; it was inside you, thrumming through your bones, rattling against your ribs like a bird trapped in a cage. the pain in your nose was sharp and unforgiving, a steady pulse of fire radiating outward, but it wasn’t just the pain that held you captive. it was the fear.
it curled around your limbs like seaweed, tightening, twisting, dragging you under. the ocean had swallowed your breath, leaving nothing but the taste of salt and blood on your tongue. it was in your throat, thick and metallic, coating your teeth, seeping into every exhale. your heart pounded erratically, beating out a frantic rhythm that didn’t match the rhythm of the waves. it was too fast, too uneven, like a drum with a broken cadence.
your body felt foreign, unsteady, like it no longer belonged to you. the water rocked you, gentle and violent all at once, the ocean playing with you like a predator that hadn’t decided whether to let you go or pull you under for good. your fingers curled weakly around the edge of your board, but the slick surface felt miles away, like something that existed in another world, a world where you hadn’t just been thrown under, hadn’t just stared into the dark abyss beneath the waves and wondered, for one terrifying second, if you’d ever see the surface again.
you couldn’t help it. the fear clawed its way up from the pit of your stomach, rising so fast you didn’t have a chance to brace yourself. your chest heaved, the breath hitching in your throat, and before you even realized what was happening, you broke.
a sob tore out of you, raw and uncontrollable, shaking your already unsteady frame. the sound was swallowed by the storm, but it felt like it echoed inside you, bouncing off every fragile part of your soul. tears mingled with the saltwater already streaking your face, but these were hotter, more insistent, driven by something deeper than the cold. you weren’t crying because of the pain in your nose or the ache in your muscles—you were crying out of pure fear.
through the haze, you saw felix paddling toward you, his face twisted with concern. his eyes were frantic as he called out your name again, his voice growing closer, more desperate. "what’s going on? why aren’t you—" he stopped mid-sentence as his eyes landed on the streaks of red trailing in the water around you.
seeing the blood, the way you weren’t responding—everything in him screamed that something was terribly wrong. his eyes darted over your face, his mind racing to make sense of it, but everything felt distant, disconnected. you were barely holding it together, and felix felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on him.
"everything okay?" he asked again, his voice trembling with raw fear. obviously you weren’t. but he needed you to say something. anything.
you didn’t answer. your eyes were unfocused, your head lolling to one side as the storm continued to rage around you. the pain from your nose, the overwhelming pressure of the ocean, the feeling of being lost in it all—it was too much. felix’s heart raced as he hovered over you, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. the way you shook with sobs, barely clinging to the edge of your board, sent a cold, unrelenting dread spiraling through him. 
"fuck!" felix cursed, his voice laced with fear as he saw the extent of your condition. with a sense of urgency he didn’t know he had, felix reached out, his hands steady but shaking as he gently helped you onto your board. the weight of the situation was crushing him, but he pushed it aside as he focused entirely on you.
“hang on,” he said firmly, the words feeling foreign on his tongue as his own panic threatened to break through. his voice stayed steady, even though every part of him wanted to scream, wanted to break down in fear. “i’ll get you back to shore.” he repeated it like a mantra, clinging to the words even though his heart was hammering in his chest.
but his thoughts were spinning, like a whirlwind of terror. his parents had trusted him to look after you, and so had yours. has he failed already? what if he doesn’t get you back by the time the next lightning strike comes down and hits you both? what if the blood in the water had already attracted sharks, and—
the waves, sensing your need, seemed to assist you, their powerful surges pushing you forward. you held your nose with one hand, trying to stem the bleeding, while paddling with the other. felix stayed beside you, occasionally giving your board a push to help you along. the shore drew closer, the tumultuous ride feeling like an eternity. finally, you felt the sand beneath your board. felix's voice cut through the noise of the storm. "leave everything here." he urged as he unstrapped the leash from your ankle and his own. “come on, come on!
the storm outside raged with a fury that seemed almost otherworldly, its howling wind battering against the walls of the beach house, a sound that felt like a warning from the sea itself. the rain came down in sheets, cold and merciless, each drop striking your skin like ice. felix's grip on your board was firm, his urgency evident as he turned toward the house, his movements quick and determined.
“go up, i’m right behind you,” he said, his voice barely audible over the storm’s roar. he gestured toward the deck and nodded towards the beach house, his face set in a mask of concentration.
you stumbled against the fierce wind, its invisible hands pushing against you, forcing you to fight for every step. felix stayed close behind, his presence a solid anchor as you finally reached the porch, breathless and drenched. with a swift motion, he dropped the boards onto the deck with a dull thud, and his hand was at the door, pushing it open to reveal the warm, dimly lit interior of the house.
“get inside,” felix urged, his voice steady yet tinged with urgency. you moved toward the door, your body shaking from the cold and exhaustion, and as you stepped over the threshold, the warmth inside hit you like a soft embrace. felix followed you in, quickly closing the door behind him with a soft click that seemed almost surreal after the chaos of the storm. the sound of the wind and rain pounding against the windows became muffled, but the tension in the air was still thick, a reminder of how close you'd come to danger.
you hesitated, not wanting to leave a trail of water across the floor, but before you could even protest, felix was already moving. he quickly grabbed a thick towel from the nearby shelf and wrapped it around you, his hands warm and gentle against your chilled skin. the softness of the towel contrasted sharply with the harshness of the storm outside, and for a moment, you let yourself lean into him, closing your eyes as the warmth of the towel began to seep into your bones.
you removed your hand from your nose, wincing as the motion sent another sharp wave of pain through you. the blood was still trickling, staining the palm of your hand, but before you could react, felix was already there, gently placing the paper towel against your nose with a tenderness that belied the gravity of the situation. 
"hold still," he whispered. his touch was so gentle, almost reverent, as if afraid that the slightest pressure might make things worse.
felix gently helped you to the couch, his hands still warm on your shoulders as he guided you to sit. the storm outside raged on, but inside the house, everything felt calmer. the warmth of the living room was a sharp contrast to the chill that had settled into your bones from the rain and the shock. as you sank into the cushions, you finally allowed yourself to relax, your body unwinding after the chaos. felix settled beside you, his eyes still full of concern, but there was a quiet relief in his expression now, too.
the noise of the storm seemed to fade into the background as you both sat there in the cocoon of the house. the sound of the wind and rain felt distant now, almost like it belonged to another world. felix's presence beside you grounded you, and you began to feel your senses returning, the dizziness of the moment slowly fading away.
felix hesitated for a moment, watching you carefully, his gaze flickering from your trembling hands to the crumpled paper towel pressed against your nose. his jaw clenched slightly before he finally spoke, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant.
"can i see it?"
you swallowed, still feeling the dull throb pulsing through your nose, but you nodded. slowly, you pulled the tissue away, wincing as the air hit the tender skin. the bleeding had slowed to a faint trickle, but it was still sore.
felix leaned in, his eyes scanning your face. you could see the worry still lingering in the furrow of his brow, the way his lips pressed together as if he were bracing himself for something worse. but then, his shoulders dropped slightly, and he let out a breath—long and slow, filled with relief. it wasn’t broken, luckily and all he saw was that cute nose he loved. he trailed off, his expression shifting as he took in the rest of you. your eyes, red-rimmed from salt and tears, the faint tremble in your hands.
felix’s stomach twisted.
but as the reality of the situation sank in, you couldn’t help but chuckle. "i cannot believe we did that," you said, your voice muffled by the tissue still pressed to your nose. the irony of the whole situation hit you in waves. here you were, sitting on felix's couch, soaked to the bone, and with a bleeding nose. you shook your head slightly, still processing what had just happened.
felix ran a hand through his wet hair, his expression a mix of frustration and worry. "i'm sorry," he said, his voice tight. "it was my fault. i shouldn't have made you go out there in that weather." he was still trembling, but whether it was from the cold of the water or the fear of what had just happened, you couldn’t be sure.
you shook your head, offering him a small smile. "it's fine, felix. i had fun," you said, your tone lightening. "the lightning just really freaked me out so i wiped out." you glanced down at the tissue, already soaked with blood. "ugh, this one's done for," you muttered, tossing it into the trash with a flick of your wrist before felix handed you a fresh piece of tissue to replace it.
“i should’ve—” he exhaled sharply, running a hand through his damp hair, his frustration with himself evident. 
his eyes locked onto yours then, filled with a guilt so raw it nearly knocked the air from your lungs.
"i should've realized sooner." he shook his head, his grip tightening on your hands. "i kept telling you to hurry up like you weren’t right there, falling apart, and i—" felix’s expression tightened, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke, his words coming out rushed. “my dad... he’s going to kill me if he finds out we did this,” he said, his eyes wide with a panic you hadn't seen before. “i never should’ve—”
you reached out, trying to offer some comfort, but he flinched, moving back. he was trembling now, his shoulders hunched, his face pale. his hands were shaking and you swore you saw the glint of unshed tears in his gaze before he looked away.
“felix,” you began, your voice soft and steady, “it’s okay. he’ll understand.”
he cut you off in a tight, strained voice, barely audible. “no, no, i... i can’t,” he whispered, his breath shaky. “i’ll never be trusted again. look at me.” his hands balled into fists at his sides, his knuckles white as he looked down at them, avoiding your gaze. “you shouldn’t trust me. no one should.”
before you could find the words to reply, felix suddenly stood up, his movements sharp and abrupt. he turned away, his shoulders tense as if the weight of everything was physically pressing down on him. without another word, he strode toward his room, each step quick and purposeful, before the door slammed shut behind him. the door slammed shut behind him, the sound echoing in the silence that followed. 
you had never seen him break like this. it was jarring, almost surreal. he was felix—the boy who was always so sure of himself, so steady. but he was still just a teenager. he wasn’t invincible, no matter how much he tried to be.
he had been left alone in this vacation home, trusted to hold it together, to prove himself capable of responsibility. of course, he had earned that trust. felix was the brightest boy you knew, kind and thoughtful to a fault, someone who carried the world on his shoulders without ever complaining. but there was pressure in that—an unrelenting, quiet pressure to show that he wasn’t abusing the trust.
you hated that he felt this way—that he doubted himself, even for a second. because to you, felix had already proven everything that mattered. he didn’t need to be perfect; he just needed to be him. but how could you make him see that?
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fifteen minutes had passed since felix stormed off, and you had taken the time to settle your own mind. the warm shower had worked wonders, the steam filling the bathroom and calming your nerves as the hot water washed away the tension that had been building since the storm. you had sat with the nosebleed for what felt like forever, tissues piling up as the blood finally stopped after a long ten minutes, but the mess of it had left you feeling drained. 
you walked over to the window, your bare feet cold against the wooden floor as you pulled back the curtain. the storm had passed. the clouds were parting, revealing a sky that was now dark but calm. the trees outside swayed gently in the aftermath, and the world was eerily quiet, as if it were holding its breath.
the heavy rain had stopped, the rumbling thunder replaced by a gentle breeze. you could hear the distant crashing of waves, a soothing sound that almost made you forget about everything else for a moment. but felix still lingered in your thoughts.
you froze when you heard his voice faintly coming from behind the closed door. at first, you told yourself it wasn’t your place, that you shouldn’t listen, but curiosity got the better of you. felix had stormed off, and it had left you with a knot in your chest. hearing him now, hearing the strain in his voice, drew you closer.
you tiptoed toward his room, your steps soft against the wooden floor, and pressed your ear gently against the door. the sound was clearer now, enough for you to make out the words.
“appa,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, a vulnerability you weren’t used to hearing. “i was so scared.” 
then a pause.
“i don’t know how she’s doing right now,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “i panicked... and i just ran off.”
he wasn’t talking about the storm or the lightning. he was talking about you.
there was another pause, longer this time, and then felix’s voice came again, this time more tentative. “can you put mom on?”
you could hear the faint rustle of movement on the other end, and then a softer voice spoke. you couldn’t make out what she said, but felix’s reaction was immediate.
he choked out, his voice breaking. there was a sharp inhale, and you realized he was crying. “i messed up.”
you swallowed hard. deep down, you knew his parents weren’t going to be mad at him—not as much as he thought, at least. they’d understand. they’d remind him that the weight he carried didn’t have to be his alone. but right now, felix didn’t see that.
“i feel terrible,” he said, followed by a sniffle. 
felix’s mom began to speak again, her voice too muffled for you to make out the words. you strained to hear, but it was impossible. she must’ve said something fairly lengthy since felix went completely quiet.
“i’ll talk to her. okay… bye. love you.”
the sudden click of the phone hanging up startled you. you quickly moved away from the door, careful not to make a sound, and stepped back into the hallway just as you heard the rustling of movement inside his room. your heart raced as you stood there, debating whether to go in or give him space.
summoning your courage, you stepped up to his door and knocked gently.
there was a pause, then the sound of felix clearing his throat. “yeah, uh… come in.”
you pushed the door open slowly, peeking inside to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, his phone still in his hand. his hair was messy, and his eyes were slightly red, but he gave you a small, strained smile as you stepped inside.
“i thought i heard your voice,” you said softly, your eyes scanning his face for any sign of how he was feeling.
felix looked down, running a hand through his hair, clearly flustered. “yeah, i was just, uh… calling my parents.” his voice was quiet, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to explain further. he paused, then looked up at you, his eyes tinged with worry. “i’m sorry. are you okay, first of all?”
you gave him a small smile, stepping further into the room. “yeah, i’m fine. it stopped a while ago,” you assured him, referring to your nosebleed.
felix exhaled sharply, his shoulders sagging as if a weight had been lifted. “i shouldn’t have run off like that,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “i panicked, and i left you alone when you needed me. that wasn’t okay.”
you shook your head, your expression softening. “felix, it’s okay. i get it. i’m not upset at all,” you said gently, hoping to ease the guilt you could see written all over his face.
you walked over to him and sat beside him on the bed. the mattress dipped slightly under your weight, and felix looked at you out of the corner of his eye, his hands twisting together in his lap.
“i mean it,” you said softly. “you got us out of that storm, and you made sure i was safe. you’ve been so strong through everything.”
his lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of saying something, but instead, he let out a sharp exhale through his nose, his jaw clenching tight. his eyes locked onto yours, glistening with unshed tears, but this time, there was no hesitation. he reached out, pulling you against him with a firm, unrelenting grip, his chin resting against the top of your head as if he needed you close to remind himself you were safe.
he didn’t want to cry in front of you. he was trying his best to hold it together, like a dam on the verge of bursting, his breathing shallow and uneven. but then, his body betrayed him. a shudder ran through him, his shoulders trembling as a silent tear slipped free. his arms around your waist tightened, almost possessive, like letting go would mean losing you entirely.
in his head, the storm of emotions raged—regret, guilt, love—each one crashing into the other. you. it was always you. the one who could read him like an open book, the one who stayed no matter how much he tried to hide the weight of his struggles. the one who made him feel whole, even in his most broken moments. the words were right there, at the tip of his tongue. i love you. three simple words that felt monumental, like they could shift the world if he said them out loud. but he couldn’t. not right now—not like this, with tears streaming down his face and his heart too raw to handle it. the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to say it made his chest ache, as he clung to you even tighter.
your voice broke through the silence, soft but steady, pulling him back to you. “you know…” you started, your hand tracing slow circles on his back, “i was scared out there too. i thought something was going to happen, something we wouldn’t be able to fix. but when you came to me i felt so much safer.”
he pulled back a little at your words, “i’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice unwavering now, grounded in the kind of certainty that left no room for doubt. “i’ll always be there for you. no matter what. you hear me?”
you nodded, your breath catching in your throat. “i hear you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you reached out to wipe the tear on his face.
felix let out a shaky breath and managed a small, almost timid smile in return. “i’m not making any stupid mistakes like that anymore,” he said firmly, his jaw tightening like he was sealing the promise in stone. “i mean it. i’m done being reckless.”
you tilted your head, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “but what’s felix without a little recklessness?” you teased, your voice light.
for a second, he just stared at you, his lips twitching like he was trying not to smile. “oh, so that’s how it is?” he said, his tone laced with mock offense. “you’re telling me you like it when i make impulsive decisions?”
you shrugged, feigning innocence. “maybe. it keeps things interesting.” then, with a softer voice, you added, “but only when you’re not scaring me half to death.”
felix stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. then, finally—finally—he smiled, the tension in his shoulders melting away. and then, without warning, his hands darted to your sides, fingers pressing into your ribs as he tickled you mercilessly.
a surprised squeal burst from your lips as you jerked away instinctively, but he was quicker, pulling you right back into him. “felix!” you shrieked between uncontrollable laughter, squirming in his grasp.
he only grinned wider, his deep, warm laughter finally breaking through the weight of everything that had happened. “you wanted reckless, didn’t you?” he teased, his fingers dancing over your sides with practiced ease.
you gasped between giggles, pushing at his chest, but he was relentless. “i take it back! i take it back!” you cried, breathless. and before you could protest, he started peppering kisses all over your cheek. for a second, everything was lighthearted—his breathless laughter mingling with yours, the warmth of his lips brushing against your cheek in quick, teasing kisses. 
you barely had a second to catch your breath before you twisted in his grasp, your laughter still bubbling out between gasps. his fingers faltered for just a moment—just enough. you seized the opportunity, grabbing his wrists and using all your strength to push against him.
felix let out a surprised grunt as you shifted your weight, catching him off guard. “oh?” he said, his voice quiet.
before he could react, you shoved him backward, sending him tumbling onto the bed with a soft thud. he let out a breathless chuckle, propping himself up on his elbows, his blonde hair slightly tousled from the sudden movement.
but then—
caw.
you both froze.
a second later, another call rang out—not the familiar, grating squawk of a seagull, but something deeper, more chilling. 
your eyes flickered to the window, your heart rate still unsteady from the tickle attack, but now for an entirely different reason. “felix,” you said cautiously, your voice barely above a whisper before you pushed yourself up. “do you think…”
his gaze followed yours, and before you could even finish, he filled in the rest. “ravens?” his voice was lower now, more serious.
you swallowed hard, the memory clicking into place at the same time for both of you. his father’s words from before he left echoed in your head—how ravens had a habit of stealing gull eggs, how they tended to come out when it rained.
and it had rained earlier.
a chill ran down your spine.
felix exhaled sharply, then pushed himself up. “come on,” he said, his voice firm. “let’s go check.”
he was already moving, reaching for your hand as he stood. you nodded, your fingers slipping easily into his grasp as you followed him to the door.
felix led the way, his grip firm around your hand as you both stepped outside. the salty air was thick with the remnants of the storm, the ground still damp beneath your feet. the sky had cleared, but the lingering gray clouds cast an eerie light over the beach house.
neither of you spoke as you rounded the corner, your eyes immediately lifting to the spot where you had first seen the seagull nest, nestled in the crook of the roof.
and there it was.
a massive black bird stood perched at the edge of the nest, its sleek feathers glistening under the weak sunlight. its talons curled tightly around the wooden beam, its head tilted ever so slightly as it regarded you both. the raven was larger than you had expected—far bigger than any gull you had seen.
its beady black eyes locked onto you, unblinking.
your breath hitched. there was something wrong about the way it stared—calculated, aware. it didn’t flinch, didn’t startle at your sudden presence. it simply watched.
felix’s grip on your hand tightened.
the raven’s head twitched, its sharp beak parting slightly as if it was about to make a sound—but it didn’t. it just stood there, unmoving, towering over the nest like a shadow waiting to descend.
your stomach twisted.
“felix…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
he took a step forward, shifting slightly so he was in front of you, his shoulders squaring. his jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the raven as if daring it to move. then the sharp, guttural cry tore through the silence, echoing against the house. you flinched. the raven didn’t move an inch. it just kept staring.
your heart sank as your gaze flicked to the nest. the thought was unavoidable—what if it had already gotten to one of the eggs?
“felix… do you think it—”
“don’t,” he cut you off gently but firmly, his voice low and steady. “don’t go there yet.”
before you could reply, felix’s eyes darted to the ground. he let go of your hand and crouched, grabbing a long, sopping-wet stick from the grass. it was drenched from the storm, muddy and slick, but he didn’t seem to care. straightening up, he held it like a spear, his shoulders squared, every muscle in his body tense.
it stayed perched, unmoving, as if it was trying to decide whether felix was a threat worth acknowledging. felix stepped closer to the corner of the roof, gripping the stick tightly in both hands. he tilted it upward, pointing the end directly toward the raven, his stance firm.
“go,” felix commanded, his voice sharper now, almost daring the bird to challenge him.
the raven cocked its head at the sound of his voice, the calculating look in its beady eyes making your skin crawl. the raven remained as still as a statue, its gaze locked onto felix with an unnerving intensity. then it let out another piercing caw, its wings unfurling in a sudden, jerky motion that made you flinch.
and finally—it took off.
the massive bird beat its wings hard as it launched itself into the air, its dark silhouette stark against the cloudy sky. you could feel the rush of air as it passed overhead, its cries echoing in the distance as it disappeared into the horizon.
felix lowered the stick with a long exhale, glancing back at you. “well,” he said, “i didn’t think that would actually work.”
felix’s gaze never left the nest as you both stood there in the aftermath of the raven’s sudden departure. something in you tugged at the unease in your chest, a hunch that maybe things weren’t as simple as they seemed.
“i should check,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
felix didn’t hesitate. he nodded, crouching down in front of you, his eyes scanning the nest with a deep, steady focus. without a word, he motioned for you to climb onto his shoulders. you took a deep breath, your stomach twisted with a mix of dread and determination. as you carefully perched yourself onto his back, you braced yourself for whatever you were about to see. felix lifted you with ease, his hands steadying your legs as he raised you higher.
you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to steady your breathing. please let it be okay, you thought. 
slowly, you opened your eyes, and your breath caught in your throat.
the sight was worse than you had feared. the eggs—most of them—were shattered, the fragile shells split open like broken promises, their contents exposed to the elements. your heart sank, a cold, tight feeling creeping up your chest. the raven had gotten to them, and now it was too late.
but there was one egg left. 
felix’s voice was tight with disbelief as he crouched lower, his hands steadying you. “what happened?” he asked, his eyes wide, scanning the damage.
you swallowed hard, your throat dry, and it took a moment for the words to come. “he got to two,” you managed to say, voice barely above a whisper. “the raven… it must’ve eaten them.”
felix’s shoulders slumped, and his face tightened with guilt and sorrow. he set you down gently, his fingers brushing against your arm before he pulled you into his chest. you could feel his heart beating quickly, mirroring your own as you both stood there in a heavy, shared silence.
“i’m so sorry,” felix murmured, his voice barely audible. you could feel the weight of his words, like he was carrying the burden of something he couldn’t control.
you wrapped your arms around him. “the mom’s gonna come back,” you said softly, the words slipping out despite the lump in your throat. “and she won’t understand…” you bit your lip, trying to hold it together, but the lump in your throat felt too large to swallow down.
“i wish there was something more we could have done.” he exhaled slowly, like the air itself had become heavier. 
“let’s go back.” you said quietly, feeling that same heaviness in your chest that he did. felix’s hand found yours once again, his grip warm and steady as he led you back down from the roof.
the walk back to the house felt long and solemn, the world around you muted under the gray sky. there were no words exchanged, but there didn’t need to be. the silence between you was an understanding, a shared grief for something you both knew was beyond your control.
once inside, you both drifted toward the couch, where you sat side by side, close but not saying anything. felix sat a little farther from you than usual, his hands resting on his knees. but you could feel his presence, and that was enough. 
day 5 - 17:00
the kitchen was warm, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun filtering through the windows. the smell of sizzling garlic and herbs mixed with the salty air, and the soft strumming of a guitar played from the speaker in the corner. you were focused on slicing the vegetables when felix sidled up beside you, leaning against the counter.
without shame, he snatched a piece of carrot off the cutting board, popping it into his mouth.
“felix,” you warned.
he just grinned, reaching for another piece. before you could stop him, he lifted a finger and gently booped your nose.
“ow,” you winced, pulling back. “it still hurts from earlier.”
his eyes widened. “oh—sorry, sorry!” his hands flew up like he’d just committed a crime, guilt flashing across his sun-kissed face.
you let out a small, pathetic whimper, holding your nose like it was broken.
felix blinked. then he narrowed his eyes. “wait—are you messing with me?”
you tried to keep a straight face, but when his suspicion deepened, your resolve crumbled, and you burst into laughter.
“oh my god,” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “stop doing that! one day, i won’t believe you’re actually hurt, and i won’t show any compassion.” he pointed at you accusingly. “you’ve never heard of the boy who cried wolf?”
“it’s not my fault you choose to fall for it every time,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow as you started cutting the onions.
he scoffed, shaking his head. “well, obviously. you’re my girl, i care about you.”
you rolled your eyes at felix’s words, shaking your head as you focused back on the onions. but as soon as you sliced into another piece, the sting hit. it crept in slowly at first, then all at once—your eyes burned, your vision blurred, and before you knew it, tears welled up against your will.
felix gasped dramatically. “are you crying?” he clutched his chest, looking far too entertained. “was it that touching?”
you shot him a glare, blinking rapidly to fight the irritation. “no, you asshole, as if,” you snapped, voice slightly watery as you instinctively raised a hand to wipe at your eyes. and it happened to be the very hand you touched the onion with. before you could, felix’s reflexes kicked in, and he pushed your wrist out of the way just in time.
“oh my gosh, you dummy,” he muttered, exasperated but laughing as he reached for a tissue. carefully, he dabbed at the corners of your eyes, his touch gentle. “you know, i can take over,” he offered, nodding toward the cutting board.
you shook your head quickly. “no, no, it’s okay. i got this.”
felix raised an eyebrow as he finished dabbing your eyes and pulled back. “you sure?”
“i’m okay,” you insisted, blinking rapidly to clear the last of the sting.
he held his hands up in surrender. “alright, if you say so. i’m gonna go grab—” he paused for a second, thinking, then snapped his fingers. “the extra drinks from the garage. you know, since somebody is too stubborn to accept my help in the kitchen.”
you rolled your eyes but smiled. “okay, okay, go.”
felix grinned, but before turning away, he reached out and gently patted your head, smoothing out a stray piece of hair. 
“there,” he said, stepping back with a smirk. “looking good, chef.”
he held his hands up in surrender. “alright, if you say so. i’m gonna go grab—” he paused for a second, thinking, then snapped his fingers. “oh! i need to get the—uh, the marinade from the garage! i knew i was forgetting something.” you hummed in acknowledgment, still focused on the onions. before leaving, felix reached out and pet your hair, “try not to cry too much while i’m gone.”
you swatted at his arm, rolling your eyes. “get out of here.”
felix chuckled as he made his way to the front door, stepping outside. the air was cooler now, the sun dipping lower on the horizon. he jogged across the driveway, pulling open the garage door, and grabbed the marinade from a shelf near the back. with a quick motion, he shut the garage door behind him and turned back toward the house—
then he saw it. 
the beach house across the street. the one he has been staring at for the entire summer, wishing a certain someone was there.
chris’s house.
and a car.
not just any car. chris’s car.
felix stopped in his tracks. his heart did a weird little flip, and for a second, he just stared, trying to make sense of it. no, no, it’s impossible. chris didn’t tell him he was coming up. he said he was too busy this year. it’s probably just his parents. yeah, that’s it.
but the thought nagged at him. the hope.
and before he could talk himself out of it, he spun around and bolted back inside.
“baby!” he called, practically sliding into the kitchen. “you are not gonna believe this.”
you looked up from the cutting board, startled by the urgency in his voice. “what? what happened?”
felix stood there, wide-eyed, gripping the marinade like he’d completely forgotten he was holding it. his chest rose and fell like he’d just sprinted, his sun-kissed face a mix of shock and disbelief. his mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. instead, he gestured wildly toward the front door, his fingers twitching like his brain was moving faster than his mouth.
“the—the—the—” he stammered, his hands flailing as if they could physically drag the words out of him.
you set down the knife, narrowing your eyes. “felix, what?”
but instead of answering, he surged forward and grabbed your wrist. his palm was warm, slightly sweaty, and buzzing with something electric. “come!”
you barely had time to register before he was tugging you through the house, his grip firm but urgent. the kitchen disappeared behind you in a blur, the scent of onions and garlic fading as he pulled you through the hallway and toward the front door. his excitement was contagious, sending a thrill of anticipation racing up your spine.
“felix, what is going on?” you demanded, breathless as you stumbled after him.
“just—just look!” he practically threw open the front door, the warm night air hitting your skin as he pulled you outside. the sky was streaked with fading pinks and oranges, cicadas buzzing in the distance, the salty ocean breeze rustling through the palm trees.
you stood there for a second, completely lost. your eyes darted between felix’s face—alive with barely contained excitement—and the house across the street, but nothing about it seemed unusual. it was just a house.
“…okay?” you said slowly, glancing at him. “what am i supposed to be looking at?”
felix exhaled sharply, shaking his head like you were missing something massive. “remember when you first came? i showed you where chris’s house is?”
you nodded, still confused. “yeah?”
he pointed aggressively. “that one. chris’s house.”
you followed his gaze, staring at the familiar structure, still unsure what he was getting at. “okay… and?”
felix turned to you, eyes wide, and gestured again like you weren’t seeing the obvious. “there is a whole car there. chris’s car!” his voice pitched higher, his hands gripping your shoulders now like he needed to shake the realization into you. “chris didn’t say he was coming up! why is his car here?”
you were still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. “well, then go say hi,” you said with a shrug, a hint of teasing in your voice.
felix’s eyes flickered to the house across the street, his expression torn between confusion and frustration. “no, no, what the fuck?” he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further as he paced in a small circle. “he can’t just come without telling me! he’s not gonna show up like this and expect me to be all, like, welcoming and happy to see him after—ugh!”
his jaw clenched, his body tense as he turned his focus back to the car in the driveway. “you know what?” he muttered, shaking his head. “forget it. let’s just go back inside. i’m actually done here.”
you almost laughed at how furious he was. it was funny—and kind of adorable, in a way, how deeply this was getting under his skin. but at the same time, you could tell he wasn’t about to let this go anytime soon.
“felix, relax,” you said, trying to stifle your laughter as he threw an arm over your shoulders, practically dragging you back toward the front door. 
you were halfway through your meal, the plates piled high with the food you’d worked together to prepare. the light hum of the music in the background mixed with the occasional clink of utensils against plates, but something felt off. you glanced over at felix, who was sitting across from you, his fork hovering in midair as he stared at his food. his brows were furrowed in that familiar, deep thought expression, his gaze distant. you could practically see the gears turning in his mind, his mood clearly still rattled. 
“why do you think he wouldn’t tell me?” felix’s voice broke the silence, low and pensive. his question was almost like a challenge to himself, like he was searching for some kind of logical answer to the chaos in his head.
you paused, taking a breath as you set your fork down. “i don’t know,” you said softly, glancing at him. “maybe he wanted to surprise you?”
felix’s voice was tinged with dry humor, though it was clear he was still trying to work through the confusion. “well, he’s terrible at it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “cause i found out before he could even say anything.”
you couldn’t help it—you chuckled softly, the sound light against the tension in the room. it was amusing, really, how seriously felix was taking this, and how easily he’d figured it out despite chris’s attempt at a surprise.
“well,” you said, still smiling, “guess he’s not as sneaky as he thinks, huh?”
as you were about to respond, felix’s phone suddenly buzzed on the table, the vibration loud enough to catch both your attention. he glanced down at it, letting out a heavy sigh, then rolled his eyes dramatically. “of course,” he muttered, checking the screen with a look of exasperation.
you raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “who is it?”
felix held up the phone so you could see. chris flashed on the screen, making your smirk widen. “well, answer it then. looks like he’s finally ready to explain himself.”
felix hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering over the screen as he shot you a look. “fine,” he grumbled. “but if he thinks i’m going to just forgive him for this...”
with a dramatic sigh, he answered the call, tapping the phone to his ear and then switching it to speaker mode. “hi.” felix muttered.
chris’ voice cut him enthusiastically. “hey felix! how are you?”
felix wouldn't let his guard down. he needed to get straight to the point. “good, why are you calling?”
“i just wanted to let you know that my parents arrived at the beach house today. they’re planning on having you over today—they’d love to see you, especially your girlfriend. they’ve been asking about you guys.”
“dude, i saw the car. stop messing with—”
before felix could finish, chris’s voice came through, sounding surprisingly calm and apologetic. “oh yea, sorry about that,” chris cleared his throat to explain. “my parents drove up in my car since i’ve been using theirs to move into my dorm. it’s got more space for all my stuff, you know?” 
there was a brief pause, while felix blinked, his annoyance faltering as chris’s words sank in. “oh,” he said slowly, glancing over at you. “well... okay then.”
but even though he tried to mask it, you could see the shift in his expression—his shoulders sagged just a little, and his lips pressed together tighter than before. a moment of hope had flickered in his eyes, the thought that maybe, just maybe, chris had come to surprise him. but now that hope was gone, shattered, and you could practically feel the sharp sting of disappointment that he was trying so hard to push aside.
felix cleared his throat, forcing his voice to stay even. “yeah, um,” he said, picking at the food on his plate. “we’re just finishing up dinner. we can swing by after.”
“sweet,” chris replied easily. “my parents will be thrilled to see you.”
felix hummed in response, but his usual enthusiasm was noticeably absent. you could see the way he pushed his food around, his appetite suddenly gone.
there was a brief pause before chris spoke again. “felix?”
“yeah?”
chris let out a breath, his tone softer now. “hey, i know it’s been a while, and maybe i should’ve called earlier. but just because things are changing doesn’t mean i don’t care, alright? i still got you. always.”
felix blinked, his gaze lowering to his plate. he let out a quiet scoff, shaking his head slightly. “yeah, yeah. i know,” he muttered. felix toyed with the food on his plate for a moment before exhaling through his nose. “how’s moving?” he asked, his voice quieter now.
chris let out a dry chuckle on the other end. “hard,” he admitted. “so much packing, so much driving. feels like i’ve been living out of boxes for weeks.”
felix hummed in acknowledgment, nodding even though chris couldn’t see him. “bet your new place is a mess.”
“oh, it’s a disaster,” chris groaned. “my mom’s been on my case about organizing, but honestly, i don’t even know where half my stuff is. i think i lost my favorite hoodie in the process.”
felix let out a breath of laughter, but it was short-lived. he twirled his fork between his fingers, his expression unreadable. “guess it’s really happening, huh?”
chris was quiet for a second before answering. “yeah. it is.”
felix swallowed, nodding again. “right.”
without thinking, you reached out and took felix’s hand under the table, your fingers slipping between his. he exhaled softly at the touch, his grip instinctively tightening around yours. his thumb brushed over your knuckles, absentminded but grounding, like he needed something to hold onto.
chris, oblivious to the quiet moment between you two, let out a sigh on the other end. “alright, i gotta go,” he said, his voice lighter now. “but i’ll see you sometime, yeah? i’ll come visit in the winter.”
felix’s jaw clenched for just a second before he forced himself to relax. “yeah,” he said, his voice steady, but you could feel the slight squeeze of his hand around yours. “see you then.”
chris chuckled. “take care, man.” 
the call ended with a soft beep, leaving behind a silence that felt heavier than before. felix didn’t move for a moment, just staring down at the table. you gave his hand a small squeeze, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. “you okay?”
felix scoffed, shaking his head like you’d just asked the dumbest question in the world. “am i okay? of course, i’m okay.”
you raised an eyebrow. “felix.”
“what?” he let go of your hand to pick at the food on his plate, stabbing at a piece of chicken like it had personally wronged him. “i mean, whatever. it’s not like i was expecting him to actually be here.”
you didn’t call him out on the way his voice tightened at the end, or how his shoulders were still drawn up just slightly, like he was trying to brace himself. instead, you nudged your knee against his under the table. “you know it’s okay to be disappointed, right?”
felix huffed, shoving a bite of food into his mouth. “not disappointed,” he said around the food, voice muffled. “just... whatever.”
you nodded, deciding to let it go for now. if felix wanted to keep pretending, you’d let him—for a little while, at least. the two of you ate in relative silence after that, the occasional clink of silverware filling the space where words should’ve been.
felix barely touched his food.
you noticed, of course, but you didn’t call him out on it. he was in his head, and he’d work through it in his own way.
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the sun had dipped lower by the time you both left the house, the sky now a deep shade of blue with traces of orange clinging stubbornly to the horizon. the warm air carried the distant hum of cicadas, the pavement cooling beneath your footsteps as you followed felix across the street.
he hadn’t said much since dinner, and even now, as he walked beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, he was unusually quiet.
the two of you stood in front of chris’s door, the porch light casting a warm glow over the entryway. felix let out a slow breath, rolling his shoulders back like he was bracing for impact.
as you approached the front door, a sudden wave of nerves crept up on you. you glanced at felix, hesitating just before stepping onto the porch. “what do i even say?” you murmured, glancing up at him.
felix scoffed, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “they’re literally the nicest people on earth,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “just be you, and they’ll love it.”
you nodded, swallowing your nerves as felix reached out and pressed the doorbell. almost instantly, the sound of high-pitched barking rang out from inside. felix’s lips curled into a small smile. footsteps approached the door, and within seconds, it swung open to reveal chris’s mom stood in the doorway, radiant in the golden glow of the porch light. she was beautiful in a timeless way, with soft, kind eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled, and rich, dark hair that framed her face in effortless waves. at her feet, a small cocker spaniel bounced excitedly, its tail wagging furiously.
“oh, hello, felix!” she greeted, her voice full of warmth.
“hi!” felix grinned before looking down at the dog. “and hi, berry,” he cooed, crouching slightly as the dog immediately leaped at him, little paws scratching at his legs.
you stepped forward with a polite smile. “it’s really nice to meet you.”
chris’s mom turned her attention to you, her smile widening. “so you’re the one felix has been telling chris about,” she said warmly, stepping aside to let you both in. “it’s lovely to finally meet you!”
berry was still jumping excitedly at felix’s legs, tiny paws scratching at his sweats as he wiggled his tail. felix reached down to ruffle the dog’s ears, laughing when berry tried to clamber up his leg. “still the same little menace, huh?”
as you stepped further inside, the warmth of the house embraced you, carrying the familiar scents of home-cooked food and something faintly floral—maybe a candle burning somewhere nearby. the living room was cozy, filled with framed pictures of chris and his family, soft, well-loved couches, and the kind of atmosphere that made it feel like home.
before you could fully take it in, a deep voice called from further inside.
“there he is! about time you came to visit, felix.”
you turned just in time to see chris’s dad, jack, approaching with a broad grin. he was a tall, sturdy man with a slightly weathered face, exuding the same easy warmth as his wife.
felix grinned as he stepped forward, meeting him with a firm hug. “hey, jack.”
jack clapped him on the back before pulling away, his sharp eyes shifting toward you. “and this must be the girl i’ve been hearing about.”
you smiled, shaking his hand. “nice to meet you.”
jack smirked. “how are you holding up with this one?”
without missing a beat, you deadpanned, “oh, he’s the worst.”
jack let out a loud laugh, while felix shot you an unimpressed look. “wow. betrayed immediately.”
“hey, i like her,” jack said approvingly.
felix rolled his eyes but tugged you toward the couch anyway. he plopped down, stretching an arm over the backrest behind you while chris’s mom sat across from you. the small cocker spaniel, berry, had finally calmed down, settling at felix’s feet.
felix leaned back with a sigh, shaking his head. “you know, i really got fooled by that car for a second,” he admitted, almost laughing at himself. “for a second, i thought chris was actually gonna be here.”
chris’s parents nodded along, but in the corner of your eye, something shifted.
a figure stood near the entrance to the hallway, moving so silently you almost didn’t notice.
your breath caught slightly, but you forced yourself to stay still. the man was wearing a black t-shirt, arms crossed, posture relaxed yet intentional. he was handsome, a bit buff, and even though you’d never met him before, you knew exactly who he was. he lifted a finger up to his lips when he saw you looking at him.
chris.
he looked exactly like the pictures felix had shown you—sharp-eyed, charming, with that same knowing smirk.
your stomach flipped, but you schooled your expression, keeping your focus on felix, who was still oblivious.
then, from behind you, a voice broke through the air.
“you really think i’d leave my precious car out of my sight?”
felix stopped mid-sentence.
visibly froze.
for a second, he didn’t move. just sat there, processing.
then, slowly—like he was almost afraid to believe what he just heard—he turned his head. 
chris stood there, leaning casually against the doorway with a smug grin, arms crossed over his chest. his eyes gleamed with mischief as he took in felix’s stunned expression. felix blinked once. twice. his brain seemed to short-circuit as he processed what was happening. “what the—”
chris barely had time to react before felix shot up from the couch. “you absolute asshole,” he breathed, staring at his friend like he was seeing a ghost. “you—are you kidding me right now?!”
chris burst into laughter, stepping forward just as felix launched himself at him. the hug was aggressive—felix practically slammed into him, shoving him back a step before gripping his shoulders tightly. “you—” felix’s voice cracked, and he pushed chris again, shaking his head in disbelief. “you fucking lied.” felix’s grip tightened before he pulled him in again, hugging him even harder this time. “you suck,” he muttered into chris’s shoulder, voice slightly muffled.
chris patted his back, clearly enjoying every second of this. “missed you too, man.”
you watched, a slow smile spreading across your face. felix had gone through every emotion in the span of five minutes, but the way he held onto chris—like he couldn’t quite believe he was real—made your chest ache.
chris pulled back just enough to look at felix, his grin stretching wide. “damn, i really got you, huh?”
felix scoffed, rolling his eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “you’re such an ass.” he shook his head, exhaling sharply, like he was still processing everything. 
chris laughed again before shifting his gaze to you, his eyes lighting up. “oh my goodness,” he said dramatically, stepping around felix and throwing his arms out like he was seeing a celebrity. “it is so nice to finally meet you.” chris stepped back but kept his hands on your shoulders as he grinned down at you. “felix has told me so much about you,” he said, shaking his head slightly.
chris had pulled you into a quick hug, his enthusiasm overwhelming which you returned. “oh trust me, me too. you know, you’re kind of a big deal.” you joked.
chris raised an eyebrow, glancing at felix with a smirk. “oh, really?” without warning, he reached out and ruffled felix’s hair, messing it up completely. felix let out a squawk, immediately ducking away and swatting at his hand as he groaned, smoothing his hair down with both hands. 
chris just laughed, clearly pleased with himself. before felix could retaliate, chris’s parents stepped into the room. “we’ll go get things from the kitchen,” his mom said, exchanging a look with his dad.
felix stared at chris for a moment, narrowing his eyes. “wait, so what are you doing here? i mean, aren’t you, like, hella busy?”
chris shrugged easily. “i have some time before school starts, you know? figured i’d come see you guys.”
felix blinked. “but i thought you were still settling in—”
“yeah, i got that done already,” chris said, stretching his arms over his head. “took a lot shorter than i expected.”
felix stared at chris, eyes narrowing slightly as if he was still processing what was happening. “wow. what the hell.”
chris just laughed, clearly pleased with himself. “surprised?”
felix scoffed. “yeah, no shit. you made it sound like you were too busy to even think about visiting.”
chris shrugged. “i like to keep things interesting.” then, as if remembering something, he turned to you, his expression brightening. “so, is this place any different from sydney?”
you exhaled, looking around for a moment before shaking your head with a grin. “very much so.”
chris chuckled, nodding in agreement. “yeah, the beach is unreal.” he tilted his head slightly. “what have you guys been up to lately?”
felix groaned immediately, rubbing his face. “oh, dude. did you guys get caught in that storm today on your way up?”
chris made a face. “yeah, it was horrendous.”
felix snorted. “yeah? well, we went surfing in it.”
chris’s head snapped toward him. “you idiots.”
you laughed, raising a hand. “in our defense, we didn’t know it was gonna get that bad.” then, shaking your head, you sighed. “i might be traumatized, though. i wiped out so hard, and my board came right back and smacked me in the face. i almost passed out.”
chris hissed through his teeth, wincing. “that sounds brutal.”
felix let out a heavy breath, crossing his arms. “oh my goodness, i was freaking out so much. i saw her bleeding—” he cut himself off, shaking his head, like the memory was still too fresh. “i swear my heart stopped for a second.”
chris raised an eyebrow, a teasing smirk tugging at his lips. “you guys are cute, you know that?” he said, clearly enjoying the playful dynamic between you and felix.
felix groaned, rubbing his face in mock embarrassment. “oh, god. please, no.” you laughed, nudging him with your elbow.
just as chris was about to say something else, his mom stepped into the room, carrying a tray of snacks. “alright, who’s ready for something to eat?”
her husband followed behind, holding a pitcher of lemonade. “we brought the good stuff,” he said with a smile, setting the drinks down on the coffee table.
“perfect,” chris said with a grin, moving to sit on one of the chairs as his parents placed the snacks down on the table.
day 5 - 22:00
it was around 10 p.m. when you decided to step back, letting felix and chris have their chance to catch up without you. you didn’t mind. you could tell they had a lot to talk about, and you were more than happy to give them the space to do so. the night air had cooled down, the sky darkened, and the faint glow of streetlights cast long shadows along the sidewalk as they started their walk.
you stood back, leaning against felix’s front door as they walked away, watching the two of them in the dim light. it was nice, knowing that they were reconnecting like this. you’d never been one to cling to every moment, and tonight, it felt right to let them share some space.
the sounds of their footsteps and occasional laughter drifted over to you, but eventually, they faded as they walked further down the street, making their way to the familiar spot where you and felix had shared a bonfire just days ago. you couldn’t help but smile a little as you imagined the conversations they were having.
“you think anyone's gonna be at the bonfire tonight?” felix asked, his voice carrying easily in the cool night air as they walked along the street. he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, his breath fogging in front of him in the chilly night air.
“not sure,” chris said, glancing around. “but if not, i’m cool with just talking, man. it’s been way too long.”
felix smiled, his expression softening. “yeah, it’s been forever.”
the two of them walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound being the faint rush of the ocean waves in the distance. felix glanced at chris, his face lighting up with a playful grin as the conversation shifted gears.
“so, did you make it to jenny and jake’s birthday party the other day?” chris asked.
felix nodded, letting out a slight groan. “yeah, i went. it was... interesting, to say the least.”
chris raised an eyebrow, curious. “interesting how?”
felix paused, letting the silence hang in the air before breaking it with a casual but telling, “we, uh... we hooked up.”
chris’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief, and he stopped walking for a second, staring at felix like he’d just heard the most ridiculous thing. “what the fuck, man. you and jenny?” he blurted.
felix’s eyes widened in horror, quickly waving his hands to clarify. “no, no, no, not jenny,” he said, his voice getting a little frantic. “i meant—god, no. i meant y/n.”
chris blinked at him for a beat, the confusion on his face only deepening. “your girlfriend?” he laughed nervously, like he was trying to wrap his mind around the whole situation. “okay, man, you gotta be clearer next time. i thought you were talking about the twins—now that would’ve been wild.”
felix let out an exasperated sigh, a mix of relief and embarrassment crossing his face. “i’m sorry, man, i didn’t mean it like that.” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “i meant my girlfriend. we... we hooked up at the party.”
chris let out a nervous laugh, still trying to process what felix had just said. “but what else would you be doing all week? holding hands and playing at the beach?” he nudged felix’s shoulder, expecting him to join in on the joke.
felix, however, stayed silent, his expression more serious than chris was expecting. his gaze locked onto chris for a moment, and chris’s playful grin faltered as the realization hit him. felix’s eyes were intense, almost guarded, like he was holding something back.
chris’s smile slowly faded, his expression turning more cautious as he finally got it. “oh.” he said bluntly, his tone shifting.
felix nodded, his voice quiet when he spoke. “yeah.” it was a simple answer, but it hung in the air with a weight that made the conversation feel heavier than it had moments ago.
chris’s eyes widened a little, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “wait, you... you haven’t...?”
felix shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “no. not yet. just… we’ve been taking it slow.”
chris paused, processing that for a moment before he gave felix a thoughtful look. “damn, man. i didn’t realize it was like that. you know, i thought you two were... well, really close by now.”
felix let out a small laugh, though it wasn’t entirely light. “we are close. it’s just… important to me, you know?”
chris gave him a knowing look, a slight smirk creeping back onto his face. “i got you, man. taking it slow... doesn’t mean you’re not thinking about it, right?”
felix’s cheeks flushed slightly, and he rolled his eyes, but there was no hiding the quiet smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. “shut up.”
chris raised an eyebrow, his smirk turning a little more teasing as he shot a quick glance at felix. “have you guys talked about it yet?” he asked, the curiosity evident in his voice.
felix’s cheeks flushed deeper, and he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “yeah... last night.” his voice was quieter now, almost like he wasn’t sure if he should even be saying this out loud.
chris nodded, his smile softening. “that’s great, man. i’m glad you two are communicating.” he gave felix a curious look. “but what’s holding you guys back, though? it seems like you’re both into it.”
felix let out a deep breath, his expression faltering as he thought about his words. he shifted slightly, rubbing the back of his neck again, clearly uncomfortable with the vulnerability of the conversation. “i don’t know… i just— it feels wrong, you know? we’ve only been exclusive for like a few months and…” he looked at chris, his eyes filled with uncertainty. “i haven’t even told her how i feel about her, like—really told her. it just doesn’t feel right rushing into anything.”
chris’s gaze softened, and he gave felix a serious look. "you haven’t told her you love her yet, felix?" he repeated, his tone quieter now, like he was trying to understand the hesitation.
felix exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before muttering, “well… i did.”
“when?”
felix let out a humorless chuckle. “the other night, when i was a little drunk, i told her.” he shook his head, as if embarrassed just thinking about it. “i don’t even remember how it came out, but i know i said it. and she—” he hesitated, his jaw tightening.
chris leaned forward slightly, watching him closely. “what did she say?”
felix sighed, rubbing the back of his neck again. “she told me to talk about it when i was sober.” his voice was quieter now, laced with something almost regretful. “and then from that moment on, i just… pretended like i didn’t remember anything.”
chris groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “felix.”
felix let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “yeah, i know. it was an asshole move.” he exhaled sharply, staring at the ground as he kicked a loose rock down the path. “i mean… i’ve been thinking about it so much, but every time i want to say it, i just—” he cut himself off, his jaw tightening. “i just can’t get it out. ”
chris was quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable as he hesitated. he looked like he was debating whether or not to say something, his lips parting before he finally spoke. “do you think it might have something to do with… mabel?”
felix’s entire body stiffened at the name. his head snapped toward chris, eyes narrowing slightly—not in anger, but in something uncertain, something guarded. he didn’t respond right away. instead, he just stared at chris, his grip tightening in his pockets.
chris exhaled, nodding like he’d expected that answer. “you’ve told y/n about her, right?”
“yeah,” felix said quickly, before glancing away. “just… maybe not the specifics.”
chris held his gaze, watching him carefully. “i mean,” he continued, his voice gentler now, “it makes sense, doesn’t it?”
felix swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as he turned his eyes back to the path ahead. “i don’t know,” he said, but there was a weight behind it, like he wasn’t sure if he was lying to himself.
chris didn’t back down, watching felix carefully. “i mean, think about it,” he said, his voice measured. “you and mabel—”
felix flinched. it was subtle, just the faintest tension in his shoulders, but chris caught it. he caught the way felix’s fingers curled slightly, the way his jaw locked for just a second before he spoke.
“can we just…” felix exhaled, forcing a short, awkward chuckle. “can we keep her name out of this conversation?” his voice was lighter, but there was something tight behind it, like he was holding something back. “i don’t wanna talk about her.”
chris immediately backed off, nodding. “yeah. sorry.”
felix sighed, running a hand through his hair. “it’s not— i don’t feel anything for her anymore,” he clarified, shaking his head. “it’s not about that.”
“yeah, i understand. but, you know… just keep it in the back of your head. sometimes things stick with you more than you realize.”
felix let out a slow breath, staring ahead at the flickering glow of the bonfire pit in the distance. he knew chris was right. he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to face what that meant.
because if he admitted it—if he said that maybe, just maybe, what happened with mabel still had some kind of hold on him—then what did that mean? that he hadn’t gotten over her?
no. that wasn’t true. he knew that wasn’t true.
he’d be terrible not to, especially when the girl for him was you. it had been you from the moment he really let himself see it. mabel wasn’t in his life anymore. he never thought about her, never missed her, never wished for anything they had. he didn’t care.
and yet, every time her name came up, every time someone even hinted at what happened, there was pain in his chest.
like a ghost of something he’d already buried.
felix exhaled, forcing the thought away. he didn’t want to talk about her. he didn’t even want to think about her.
chris seized the opportunity to change the subject, clapping felix on the back lightly. “well,” he said, his tone shifting back to something more casual, “looks like we’re here.”
the distant crackle of the bonfire grew louder as they approached, accompanied by the hum of conversation and the strumming of a guitar. the music, slightly muffled by the night breeze, carried over to them, breaking through the tense silence that had settled between them.
felix’s lips curled into a small smile as they stepped onto the sand, the bonfire’s glow illuminating their faces. the crowd was smaller than when you and felix had come, but there were still plenty of people lounging on the logs, talking in clusters, and swaying to the music. some familiar faces turned toward them, offering nods or waves of recognition.
felix glanced at chris, then smiled to himself. “three…” he murmured under his breath.
chris frowned, tilting his head. “what are you doing?” he asked, chuckling in confusion.
felix didn’t answer, eyes scanning the group ahead. “two…”
chris narrowed his eyes, a laugh bubbling up. “felix, what—”
“and one.”
before he could question felix further, a voice cut through the music.
“oh my god, chris?”
a girl appeared seemingly out of nowhere, her eyes lighting up as she made a beeline for him. her voice dripped with excitement, and felix barely contained his grin as he watched chris’s reaction unfold.
felix, grinning shamelessly, leaned over just enough to murmur, “called it.”
chris barely had time to react before she was in front of him, flashing a bright smile. “i can’t believe you’re here,” she said, placing a hand lightly on his arm. “you look even better than i remembered.”
his lips curled into an amused smirk, eyes flicking over her face with that teasing glint. “better than you remembered?” he repeated, tilting his head slightly. “i mean, i’ll take the compliment, but now i have to wonder—exactly how bad was my competition?”
she laughed, rolling her eyes. “please. you know you weren’t competing with anyone.”
chris hummed, dragging his gaze away for just a second before looking back at her. “that so?” he mused. “good to know.” his tone was light, casual—but the way his words lingered, the way his eyes moved just a little slower, made it impossible to ignore the charge in the air.
felix barely contained his laughter, watching the exchange unfold. “i should start betting on this kind of thing,” he muttered under his breath, but neither of them heard him. 
chris chuckled softly, his smile still lingering, but he gave the girl a polite nod. “i’ll catch up with you later, yeah? it’s been a while, so i’ve got to make my rounds and say hi to everyone.”
she grinned, clearly not bothered by his subtle exit, and leaned in just a little closer, her hand brushing against his arm as she spoke. “of course, bang chan,” she said, his korean name slipping off her tongue in a teasing, flirty way. her fingers lingered for a second longer than necessary, the touch almost electric.
“it won't take long.” chris promised, a light laugh escaping him as he backed off slightly before the girl left. 
felix, still standing off to the side with an amused look on his face, couldn’t resist. “you’ve always had a way of doing that,” he commented, nudging chris with his elbow.
chris smirked, shaking his head. “well, i don’t know about that.” he glanced at felix, amusement flickering in his eyes. “you’re the one in the committed relationship, my guy.”
felix rolled his eyes, shaking his head but laughing nonetheless. “you’re not wrong,” he said. he leaned in, mimicking the girl’s earlier tone in a teasing voice, “bang chan.”
“shut up, lee yongbok,” he said, a playful edge to his voice, knowing full well it was a name felix hated being called.
felix froze for a second, his eyes widening as he scowled. “hey!” he smacked chris in the back of his head, but only half-seriously. “that’s crossing the line, man.”
felix couldn’t help but smile as he looked at chris. his best friend was back, and for now, that was enough. and it all felt good.
day 5 - 23:59
you could feel every inch of it, the wetness of the waves wrapping around you, soaking through the thin fabric of your clothes. your arms were heavy, each stroke harder than the last as you paddled out, your movements frantic but sluggish. the water felt wrong, its temperature sinking deep into your bones, each pull more exhausting than the one before.
you looked around, your breath hitching, but the view was nothing but endless dark water. no shore in sight. no land. just the vast ocean stretching on forever, swallowing you whole. the silence of it, broken only by the distant roar of the storm above, was deafening. the air was thick with pressure, and your chest felt tight as the clouds above swirled ominously, dark and brooding.
you glanced down at the water, and that’s when you saw it—first just a strange shift in color, and then it was clear. the water was no longer blue, but red. the deep crimson color spread out around you like the ocean itself had been transformed into blood. it felt wrong, as if the very world around you had turned against you. the water, once so familiar, now felt foreign, alien. you shivered as the sickening sight of it pulled at your stomach, a growing sense of unease crawling over your skin.
then, a ripple broke the surface of the water, followed by a wave. not a typical wave, but something far larger—an immense, towering thing that seemed to reach toward the heavens. the scale of it was terrifying. it moved slowly at first, but you could feel the pull of it, drawing closer with every second. your heart pounded as panic set in. you tried to paddle away, but it was hopeless. the wave was too big, too fast.
your body moved without thinking, your breath ragged and shallow as you fought against the current, paddling furiously as the water seemed to push back with every stroke. the fear settled deep into your chest, a cold knot that tightened with every passing moment. you knew it was coming, the giant wave, and you knew you couldn’t escape it. the storm above raged louder now, the thunder crashing like a warning.
the wave loomed closer, its massive shape blocking out the sky above. it felt like it would swallow you whole, and you couldn’t escape. there was no way out.
and then, with a deafening roar, the wave crashed over you. the world was swallowed in darkness, the cold water engulfing you completely. it was as if the ocean itself had turned on you, and the weight of it pressed down with crushing force.
your body jerked up in bed, a strangled gasp escaping your lips as your chest heaved with panic. sweat slicked your skin, and your heart raced, every muscle tense and trembling from the aftershock of the dream. 
the darkness of the room slowly started to take shape as you tried to catch your breath. your heart pounded in your chest, but gradually, as the room came into focus, you recognized the familiar surroundings—the pale blue walls, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window. the gentle rustling of the wind outside reminded you that you were still in the beach house, the comforting warmth of the room in stark contrast to the cold, oppressive weight of the dream.
the incident earlier that day had a grasp on you, wrapping its tendrils around your thoughts.
taking a shaky breath, you closed your eyes, trying to steady yourself. but as soon as your eyelids fluttered shut, the nightmare flashed before your mind’s eye once more. the red water, the massive wave—everything came rushing back like a tide, threatening to pull you under once again. the fear surged within you, choking you, and your heart leaped into your throat.
you shot your eyes open again. you couldn’t do it. you couldn’t fall asleep again, not when you knew that the nightmare would be waiting, lurking in the dark corners of your mind, ready to drag you back into its depths.
rolling over onto your side, you stared at the ceiling, trying to steady your breathing, but sleep seemed so far away now. and with every second, the memories of the nightmare seemed to tighten their grip on you, keeping you wide awake.
you closed your eyes briefly, hoping to find some comfort in the dark, but every time you did, the nightmare flashed back into your mind, sharp and unsettling. you pulled the blanket up higher, trying to shield yourself from the thoughts, but it didn’t help. nothing felt right.
then, a sudden creak broke the silence.
your body tensed instantly, your eyes snapping wide open. the front door—just beyond the hallway—shifted in its frame with a soft noise. it wasn’t loud, but it was enough to stir a primal sense of unease in your gut. the sound was faint but familiar—the soft shuffle of footsteps in the hall. your heart skipped a beat as you realized it was felix.
you slowly pulled the blanket over your legs, trying to calm your nerves. the night still felt heavy, but you swung your legs over the side of the bed, your feet meeting the soft, plush carpet beneath you. slipping into your fluffy slippers, you took a steadying breath before standing, moving toward the door.
you could hear felix moving in his room, the sound of him adjusting things, probably getting ready for bed. but you weren’t ready for sleep—not with the feeling of the nightmare still lingering, clawing at your chest.
for a moment, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the door handle. should you go to him? you knew it was late, and you didn’t want to worry him, but you were in a bad state right now, and maybe... maybe being close to him would help you feel safe again.
you exhaled quietly, then pushed the door open, walking across the hallway to felix's room. the lights were on, and the brightness made you squint, your eyes adjusting to the sudden shift in light. felix was standing by his bedside, plugging his phone into the charger, his back turned to you.
once he heard your footsteps, he turned around almost instantly. felix’s eyes softened as he noticed the way you were standing in the doorway. his expression immediately shifted to one of gentle concern, his voice quiet as he said, “baby, i thought you’d be asleep by now.”
you didn’t respond right away, not sure how to explain the weight of the nightmare, the unease that still lingered. felix noticed your hesitation and immediately walked over to you, his movements smooth and careful. as he got closer, his eyes searched for yours, and the worry in his gaze deepened. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft.
you inhaled deeply, your chest rising and falling with a shaky breath as the fear still clung to you, making it harder to speak. felix’s hand gently rested on your arm, the touch light but grounding, as if he was trying to remind you that you weren’t alone in this moment. his eyes softened, and he waited for you to find the words, not pushing, just quietly offering support.
“i’m scared,” you finally whispered, your voice barely audible, but the vulnerability in it was clear.
felix’s brow furrowed slightly, his gaze filled with concern as he leaned in a little closer. “scared of what?” his voice was a soothing whisper, coaxing you to open up but still giving you space to process.
you swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. the nightmare felt like it had a hold on you—like the fear from it still clung to your mind, refusing to let go. it wasn’t just the dream itself, but the overwhelming feeling of being lost, alone, and helpless in the water. the dread that had flooded through you felt like it was seeping into every part of your body, even now, even with felix standing in front of you.
“i had a nightmare,” you admitted softly, feeling the weight of the words as they left your lips. it felt almost silly, but it was the truth. the dream had felt so real, the fear, the panic—it was hard to shake off.
felix gently squeezed your arm, his thumb moving in small circles as he listened to you. his eyes softened as he took in your words, his heart aching at how much distress you were in. he could feel the tension in your body, the way your breath was still a little shaky as you spoke.
felix's thumb gently stroked the inside of your arm, a steady, calming motion that sent warmth through you, though your heart still raced in a panic. he looked at you with concern in his eyes, his voice soft and reassuring. “what was it?”
you hesitated for a moment, your mind racing, but you needed to get it out. you took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself enough to explain the nightmare, but your words kept tumbling out in a rush, the panic seeping through. “it… it was like, i was in the water. but it felt like everything was wrong. the ocean was… different. it was freezing, and then it turned red. like blood. and there was this huge wave. just… huge. like the one in that movie we saw together…” you trailed off, trying to remember it.
“interstellar.” felix filled in.
“like the waves in interstellar.” you nodded and carried on. “i was stuck, and i knew it was going to crush me, and i couldn’t do anything.”
you took a shaky breath, feeling your heart race again as you relived the moments from the dream. the panic in your chest grew, and you tried to calm it, but it was like it was spreading, wrapping around your throat.
“i think it has to do with this morning,” you added, your voice growing frantic as you tried to piece together what was happening. “the wipeout. i… i was so scared when i hit the water, and then my board came back at me, and it… it almost knocked me out. and now it’s like i can’t escape it. the waves, the storm. it all feels so real, and i don’t know how to make it stop.”
your voice caught in your throat, and before you could stop it, you were shaking your head, your hands tightening at your sides. “i know it’s stupid,” you muttered, feeling like you were making a bigger deal out of this than it was. “i shouldn’t have come to your room. it’s just a nightmare.”
felix’s heart ached seeing you like this. he stepped closer to you, his hand gently stroking your arm, trying to soothe the panic that had taken over. “hey, hey,” he whispered softly, his voice steady and full of warmth. “you’re not bothering me, baby. you can always come to me. i want you to.”
he stepped even closer, his body offering warmth and comfort as he pulled you into a soft, reassuring hug. his hand moved to the back of your head, gently running his fingers through your hair as he whispered, “and it’s not stupid, okay? what you’re feeling is real.” he paused, running his hand up and down your arm as if to soothe you, trying to calm the panic that still lingered in your chest. “can i tell you a secret?” he asked with the softest voice possible while he guided down to sit on his bed, the one he always made neatly every morning..
you nodded, looking up at him, searching his eyes for comfort. the sincerity in his gaze made you feel a little safer, even in the midst of your panic.
felix gave a small, almost embarrassed smile, his voice soft as he began. “even when i was 13, whenever i had a nightmare, i would still go to my parents' room. you know what they’d do?”
you shook your head, not entirely sure what he meant, but listening intently.
“my dad,” he chuckled softly, shaking his head. “he’d tell me to get their bed and then they’d stay with me to talk about it until i fell asleep.”
a laugh bubbled out of you despite yourself, the image of young felix sneaking into his parents' room bringing a lightness to your chest. “that’s cute,” you said, trying to smile, though the remnants of the nightmare still clung to you.
felix's smile deepened at the sound of your laugh, his tone lightening. “so, i’ll tell you what, why don’t you sleep with me tonight? i’m gonna go wash up real quick, but in the meantime you can wait for me in bed. is that okay?”
you nodded, feeling a small sense of relief settle over you just at the thought of him being there, taking care of you. “yes,” you murmured, your voice still quiet but softer than before.
felix smiled softly, his hand still resting on your arm as you both stood up. “come on,” he said gently. his movements were careful and deliberate, as if he was trying to make the space as comfortable as possible for you. he pulled the duvet off the bed, giving it a quick shake before walking back toward you.
without saying a word, he leaned down and kissed your forehead, a soft, affectionate gesture that made your chest feel a little lighter. “i’ll be quick,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.
you nodded and gave him a small smile, though you couldn’t help but feel comforted by the gesture. as he made his way to the bathroom, he turned the lights off on his way out, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the window.
the sudden quiet was almost surreal. you moved down in the bed, curling up under the warm duvet. you pulled it close around you, the fabric soft and comforting against your skin. the bed smelled like him—like the faint scent of his cologne, like warmth, like safety—and it was as if the world outside the room ceased to exist for a moment.
you leaned your head back into the pillow, your body melting into the softness as you closed your eyes, feeling the last remnants of tension from the nightmare slip away. the rhythmic sound of your breathing slowly became steadier, and the night seemed less intimidating with him so near, even if he wasn’t physically in the room.
it felt like time passed in the blink of an eye. your mind wandered in that dreamlike state, the world shifting gently as you teetered on the edge of sleep. everything felt so much easier now. the warmth of the bed, the sense of calm that only felix could bring—you could almost forget the nightmare, the fear, and just let yourself drift away.
you stirred awake again, the softness of the bed and the warmth surrounding you pulling you from your dreams. as your eyes blinked open, the first thing you saw was felix, his shirtless figure silhouetted against the dim light. his features were soft, and he had a gentle smile on his face as he watched you, his presence filling the space around you.
he moved closer, his body warmth radiating toward you. his eyes searched yours for a moment, a trace of concern in them as he asked, "are you okay with this?" his voice was soft, like he didn’t want to pressure you but wanted to make sure you felt comfortable.
you smiled, feeling a sense of peace settle in your chest just at the sight of him. "more than ever," you replied, your voice barely a whisper but full of warmth.
felix slid an arm beneath you with effortless ease, his movements gentle but sure, as if he had done this a thousand times before. his other arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you in close until your body was pressed snugly against his chest. his warmth enveloped you instantly, a quiet reassurance against the lingering remnants of fear.
you felt the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the slow, rhythmic pattern grounding you in the moment. his scent—clean, familiar, tinged with the faintest hint of the ocean breeze—wrapped around you just as securely as his embrace. the soft fabric of his hoodie brushed against your cheek, and beneath it, the steady drum of his heartbeat thrummed against your skin.
felix shifted slightly, adjusting until you were tucked perfectly beneath his chin, your head nestled into the crook of his neck. his cheek rested against your temple, his breath warm as it fanned over your hair. one of his hands settled against your back, his fingers splayed lightly as if to shield you from the weight of the nightmare that still clung to your mind. the other draped over your arm, his thumb moving in slow, comforting circles against your skin.
his hold was protective but never constraining—just solid, just safe. his entire body seemed to curve around yours, sheltering you from anything that might still linger in the corners of your mind. the world outside ceased to exist in that moment. no crashing waves, no blood-red water, no looming shadows—just felix, warm and steady, anchoring you to reality.
felix didn’t hesitate. he slid an arm beneath you with effortless ease, his movements smooth and sure, as if it were second nature to him. his other arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you in until your body was flush against his bare chest. the contrast between the cool air and the warmth of his skin sent a shiver down your spine, but felix was quick to notice, pulling the blanket up around you both like a protective cocoon.
the heat of his body seeped into yours instantly, his skin warm and soft against your cheek. you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beneath your fingertips, strong and soothing, grounding you as the remnants of your nightmare slowly unraveled. his scent—fresh, familiar, tinged with salt and something uniquely him—wrapped around you just as securely as his embrace.
felix shifted slightly, adjusting you until your head fit perfectly beneath his chin, your face tucked against the curve of his shoulder. his cheek pressed lightly against your hair, his breath warm as it fanned over your forehead. one of his hands rested against the small of your back, his fingers splayed lightly, while the other draped protectively over your arm, his thumb tracing slow, absentminded circles against your skin.
felix let out a slow breath, his chin resting lightly against your hair as he listened to the quiet sound of your breathing. it had evened out now, softer, steadier, no longer carrying the weight of panic. that alone made something in his chest tighten—relief.
he tilted his head slightly, just enough to look down at you. the soft glow of moonlight filtered through the window, casting faint silver highlights across your face. your features were relaxed now, peaceful, your lashes resting gently against your cheeks. the sight of you—so close, so completely at ease in his arms—made warmth flood through his entire body, spreading from his chest to the very tips of his fingers.
god, he loved you.
the thought hit him with quiet certainty, like a wave rolling in, steady and unstoppable. it wasn’t sudden. no, it had been there for a long time, buried beneath fleeting glances, quiet moments, and every touch that lingered just a little too long. but now, holding you like this, feeling the way you melted into him, trusting him even in your most vulnerable state—there was no denying it.
he loved you.
and it terrified him.
because if he told you—if he let the words slip past his lips—what would it change? would you look at him the same way, or would you pull away? would the comfort you found in his arms disappear, replaced by the weight of something unsaid, something too heavy to bear?
his grip on you instinctively tightened, just slightly, as if he could keep this moment frozen in time, untouched by the risk of words unspoken. felix let out a quiet sigh, tilting his head to press the softest of kisses against your temple.
for now, he would keep it to himself.
for now, he would let you sleep, safe and warm in his arms, and he would hold onto this moment for as long as you let him.
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witchofthesouls · 4 months ago
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I love your bayverse Isekai AU, will there be any more snippets on the shenanigans with our feral wildling prime with equally feral newsparks and politically rogue sentinel actively failing and somehow successfully courting the said feral prime while simutaneously giving the metaphorical middle finger to the council regime.
You're standing in the middle of a pale desert. The white sand ripples without wind, and it's endless without anything in sight. A stark divide between the ground and dark sky. The stars are strange. Dripping like a child's clumsy first ventures into watercolors; saturated, vibrant hues fading into weak trailing brushstrokes. With enough concentration, you parse out the shapes of the stars, outlines squirming, moving back and forth, bleeding across the night like odd-shaped marbles.
Someone calls out, and you turn to see a fluttering-
______
You wake up, and the dream fades. The remaining echoes of crying easily meld into the newsparks' wails for your attention, even under Thundercracker's crooning engines, calm field, and fuel production. They look for you, blindly reaching out, fields refusing to settle until well entangled under your own and dozing on your chest.
______
Because you and information slugs don't mix, you're learning the old-fashioned way: direct practice.
And there's nothing in this current life nor your past human one that could prepare you for Iaconi dining etiquette and their culinary practices.
Sentinel is surprisingly patient and encouraging. Star Saber, on the other hand, is demanding and pompous as usual.
A few pieces of the cutlery are familiar in a vague shape-sense, like a spoon should be a spoon, but the spoons' handles have delicate metal leaves with tiny bundles of shiny berries. One grouping is so fragile that the shells jiggled as it rose from a well-hidden compartment from the table. Another clutch isn't round but more hexagonal. A blue hexagon-like raspberry with reddish fuzz.
There's also a tool that looks like a love-child between a well-used slinky and nunchucks and a doohicky that combined a two-pronged fork with a honey dipper.
There's nothing on the table that looks remotely close to honey or a sauce to use said dipper.
You deeply yearn for the simplicity of Thundercracker's cubes and her endless supply of snacks.
Biting the bullet, you commit to a spoon, and Star Saber exudes disdain as you try to scoop out the plain tofu lookalike on your plate. It jiggles and warps the moment the utensil touches it, and the berries, every single one, fall off. The hard ones bounce off, tinking across the table and floor, and the fragile ones splatter the tofu. A contained mess of color and sound clash as discordant strings and chimes overlay and warp.
Sentinel is then right by you. "Like this," he says, and he takes your hand to pick up the fork end, guiding you to twirl the dipper right over the plain tofu block. It quivers, and there's a lovely wind-chime noise before the entire thing flows upward, carving into long, unbroken chains by following the grooves, and artfully twirling backdown into a nest.
A plate of color-splattered noodles now sits before you.
Sentinel uses the slinky, applying the nunckuck ends to his thumb and middle finger and gently bounces the slinky over the noodles. The noodles slither their way into the middle, and after a mouthful is gathered, he brings the contraption near his face, flicking off the thumb attachment and the flexible tubing and 'drinks' his food as if it's a straw itself.
A sharp, ringing hum grabs your attention, prickling over your senses at vibrates in your field. When Star Saber stops circling the rim of the wine glass, the hum dies down as well.
"You failed when we entered." You stare blankly at the Seeker, and he clicks his glossa before explaining, "The most prominent member signals the rest to sit."
"But I waited for you because you're the most experienced!" Star Saber had literally spent weeks beating it into your processor about the teacher-student dynamic: who sits, who stands, who dismisses, and many other important, little steps of social nuance.
"Yes. If this was an educational setup, but this is a formal meal, it's the established Prime that signals to everyone else to sit."
You throw all caution to wind and reach over to the turn table in the middle. Sentinel laughs as you manually spin it until you reach your target: the deconstructed savory pies basket.
Star Saber remains unamused as you take a bite of the sphere, and spices flood your senses, coating your glossa with a hearty, thick gravy. The 'wrapping is supposed to be peeled, but it's completely edible and flaky layers.
It's a performance piece with the right sounds and gestures. The wrapping would gracefully unravel, and the contents reorganize itself into a sophisticated piece of art before settling into cups to be eaten one by one.
You find it more comfortable to eat the pie in one whole go. Star Saber deeply sighs at your atrocious manners and actually snaps at Sentinel when the mech decides to follow your lead.
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tojisbbg · 2 years ago
Text
𝙤𝙝, 𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙣
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❝oh.. cara mia, how i love him.❞  
♡ rin itoshi ♡
a/n: first time writing for blue lock!! ugh, guys, the brainrot is very severe. they’re all my babygirls fr.
content: rin itoshi x reader, sprinkle of sae in it (if you squint), fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, childhood friend to strangers to lovers, rin’s a little mean, unresolved feelings cause sudden confession, small little tweaks of events, not edited.
---
“rinnie!” your six-year-old self screamed loud and proud for your best friend in the entire world as you ran inside the itoshi household. your parents were left behind at the door, chuckling with the itoshi’s parents because of your excitement. 
you tightly gripped the coloring set to your chest, climbing the stairs as fast as you could upstairs to rin’s play room that he shared with his brother sae. you opened the door, seeing the familiar ravenette sitting on the child size chair, focused on drawing. 
“rin! you were supposed to wait for me.” you whined, your smile now becoming a small frown as you sat in front of him on the empty chair. rin looked up at you, finally acknowledging your presence. 
“ah! y/nie, you’re here so soon.” he gave you a bright smile, his eyes shimmering at your company. suddenly, you even forgot that you were mad at him in the first place, his smile being so contagious as you returned one yourself.
“look! papa got them from his business trip last week and it has crayons, markers, paints and so much more!” you showed him the coloring kit, making him awe from amazement from the variety. 
“so cool! hey, can we share?” rin asked and you eagerly nodded your head, laying out your coloring supplies on the table freely. 
“who are you drawing for the project?” you asked, beginning your masterpiece, which would consist of cutely drawn stick figures. 
“i’m gonna draw big bro, i wanna be just like him in the future. he’s just so cool, he’ll become the best striker in the world and i’ll be the second best.” rin spoke with such passion in his tone, his eyes holding a loving adoration at the thought of his brother. 
“nice, i wanna become like my mama. i want to make food as delicious as hers so that i could feed the people that i love.” you chirped, dipping your paint brush in a little bit of water before swirling it inside the watercolor paint palette. 
“even me?” rin asked, making you look at him with a slight dust of pink shading your cheeks. 
“of course, rinnie. you’re my best friend and i’ll always love you. i think you’re more awesome than sae.” you whispered the last part, making him giggle as he shook his head. 
“hm? talking about me?” you suddenly hear a voice behind you, your eyes being covered as you yelp in surprise. 
“sae!” you finally peeled his hands away from your eyes, eyes meeting another pair of emerald ones. sae chuckled before ruffling your hair. 
“hey! you’re messing up my pigtails.” you huffed, trying to fix your hair that slightly ruined, straightening the bows that were a little crooked. 
“sorry, sorry, cutie.” sae raised his hands in defense, making you hum as a response of accepting his apology. he sat on the ground, eyes watching what you and his brother was doing. 
“look, big bro! this is you and me when we win the world cup together.” rin eagerly showed his finished drawing, earning a proud grin from his brother as sae ruffled rin’s hair. 
“we’ll be the best of the best, together.” sae said, warmth spreading inside rin’s heart from satisfaction. 
“yup!” rin nodded. 
“hey, what about me? i don’t know how to play soccer.” you pout, feeling left out from the itoshi’s conversation. 
“i offered to teach you but you didn’t wanna.” sae replied, pinching your cheeks teasingly as you winced. 
“yeah ‘cause soccer is for boys not for girls.” you fake gagged, making sae roll his eyes from your overdramatic reaction.
“you can cheer us on, you’ll be in the front seats watching us.” rin suggested, making you think hard on if that’s the job you wanted to play in the itoshi brothers dream. 
“okay! i’ll be your good luck charm.” you gave them a thumbs up, making them both agree. 
“my, my! aren’t you three just so cute. let’s take a picture!” rin’s mom cooed, pulling out her phone as she ushered both brothers to stand by your side. you dropped your paint brush, holding your colorful hands up with a bright smile that made your eyes disappear. 
you felt rin and sae bent down, placing a kiss on either of your cheeks as a pose. 
“1...2...3... awwww!” your parents were in the middle of having a stroke from cuteness overload. on the other hand, you were combusting with happiness from how lucky you were to have two of the greatest friends ever. 
---
change is something inevitable. 
seasons change and so do other forms of life such as plants, animals and humans. it’s just the cycle of life that we must go through. 
the world was still too big for your liking at the age of sixteen, afraid to dip your toes in waters that seemed too cold and foreign. 
you were afraid to change.
and perhaps that was one of the reasons why you let the two most important people in your life slip out of your grasp. sae became a hotshot in a small period of time, hitting the news which spread like wildfire. of course, this alone made your and rin’s hearts soar from happiness. 
but that was two years ago. 
things were different now, so different that you don’t even recognize the itoshi brothers anymore. sae was absolutely no longer in the picture, frequently traveling to places like spain and his visits back in japan lasted no more than a couple of days. 
and your best friend, rin, has become nothing but a total stranger. he still lived within close premises, yet his aura felt like someone splashed you with cold water. that warmth that once resided within him was gone. 
you quickly barged into rin’s room, your face now becoming pale with horror as you saw him go berserk. his eyes were dark, smashing every single trophy, medal and picture frame him and sae owned. 
“i hate him! i hate, hate, hate, itoshi sae!” rin bellowed, not even caring about your existence that was terrified by the door. your shaky hands went behind you, closing the door as you slowly tip-toed your way to him. 
“rin?” you meekly called out his name, trying to catch his attention as he was heaving from frustration. he looked at you with a sharp glare, making your throat go dry. 
“what.” he spat out with so much venom, making you mentally wince. 
“sit down and talk to me.” you grabbed his arms, pushing him back until he sat on the bed and you stood in front of him. your hands were on his shoulders, grounding him on the mattress to make sure that he wouldn’t get up to do anything else. 
“there’s nothing to talk about. itoshi sae ruined my life by teaching me soccer, and i will get my revenge on him.” rin spoke with so much hate in his voice it made your stomach churn. 
“that’s crazy talk, you both are supposed to become the best together, remember?” you frowned, cupping his cheeks as you tried to somehow make this hateful glint of his disappear. 
until he swatted away your hands. 
“we’re not kids anymore, y/n. it’s time that you grow the fuck up and realize that this stupid dream the three of us dreamt of was never going to become reality. even seeing you makes me angry now.” rin harshly spat out, making your mouth agape from shock, looking at him with glossy eyes. 
“rin, the hell is that supposed to mean?” your voice croaked, your heart feeling like it was on the verge of cracking into two. 
“i hate you too, y/n.”
those were the last words that were ever exchanged between you and rin, the last time you both were even near each other. every time the both of your parents would try to organize an event together, you would make some lame excuse to not join them.
but, today it seemed that no matter how significant or desperate you tried to make your excuse look like, your parents didn’t buy it. 
“what happened between you guys? you all used to be such good buddies.” your dad asked out of the blue, looking at you through the mirror as he drove. you shrugged, playing with the hem of your dress. 
“we just grew up, i guess. besides, the both of them are pretty busy people so i don’t wanna butt in.” you quickly dismissed, not wanting to talk about this whole sibling rivalry they both had going on which eventually wrapped you into it as well. 
“yeah, it’s a shame. but, the itoshi brothers are doing very good. sae has gotten into nationals and rin got into some bootcamp place called blue lock. we’re going over for dinner because the brothers are gonna be off on their own path tomorrow.” your mom informed you, making your eyes go wide like the size of two full moons. 
it was bad enough that you’d be seeing both sae and rin after two years, but the fact that now even more distance was being created left you unsettled. there was no more hope in restoring whatever friendship you guys had. 
you didn’t care much about sae, but rin? he was your best friend, your person, the only person who could actually turn your frown upside down. 
what probably hurt the most was the stupid crush you had on him that never died down. you know him like the back of your hand, and you know that the itoshi rin right now is not the sweet rin you befriended and fell in love with as a child. yet, a piece of your heart knew that somewhere in those ferocious green flames of his, your rinnie was still there. 
the dinner party was like usual, a bunch of rich people all in one place. you felt stuffy and suffocated, deciding to go up to the balcony to get some fresh air. you noticed a tall figure leaning on the rails, peering down. 
“shouldn’t you be hosting your own party?” you snickered, standing beside him as your voice rang a bell in his ears. rin straightened his posture, easily towering over you as your mind couldn’t process how tall he has gotten within the span of two years. his body was more fit and muscular, yet his face was stoic and bored like the last ever time you had seen him. 
“tell that to mr. famous, he’s the hot topic of the table.” rin grumbled, stealing quick glances at you with a side eye that you failed to notice. he couldn’t help but notice how you’ve gotten even prettier within the years, his heart fluttering upon the sight of you. 
you grew up so well, yet you still reminded him of the old y/n he knew. 
“hm, well, congrats on getting in blue lock.” you awkwardly said, rubbing your bare arms as you avoided eye contact with him. 
“thanks.” he dryly responded and silence fell between you both. 
“so, you’re gonna go away for a long time?” you asked, trying to stir up a conversation with your best friend whom your heart ached and yearned for. 
“don’t know.” rin simply shrugged, his resistance making your blood boil. he was acting like it was your first day meeting him and that every single memory between you both never existed. 
“alright, i’m fucking done.” you said through gritted teeth, making rin look at you with a cocked eyebrow. suddenly, you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down to make at eye-level with you. 
“the fuck is your problem, huh? i don’t know what went on between you and sae, but that shit does not involve me. i don’t give two flying fucks about soccer, i just want my best friend back. so stop being such an asshole!” you screamed in his face, your eyes pooling with tears that began to sting. rin looked into your eyes, his lips thining into a line before his larger hands peeled your fingers away. 
“are you fucking deaf or dumb, huh? that weak and pathetic version of rin itoshi you so dearly hold in your heart is dead. my dream is no one’s but only mine. only i will become the best of the best in the world, the best striker. i will defeat itoshi sae and make him eat his damn words.” his hands balled into fists, making you crouch down as you held your face in your hands, sobbing. 
“then why.. why am i looped into this shit?! did you mean what you said to me last time?” you asked, praying to whatever god up there that you overthought everything those past two years. 
“of course i did, y/n. you mean nothing to me, right now, the only thing important to me is soccer. hell, i’ll even put my life on the line for it. anything and anyone who gets in my way is nothing but a fucking pain the ass.” rin glared down at you, each of his words feeling like a few hundreds of knives stabbing your heart. 
“you fucking jerk. i hate you, itoshi rin! i hate you, i hate you, i hate you! go to fucking hell.” you yelled, getting up with tears in your eyes as you ran inside the house. you tried to navigate yourself to the bathroom to fix your face which was probably streaked with black remains of your mascara. 
you bumped into a hard chest, making you groan in pain as you mumbled a quick ‘sorry’. 
“y/n?” the familiarity of the voice sent chills down your spine, looking up to see none other than sae. his hairstyle changed completely, his eyes dull as he looked at you with an undecipherable look. 
but for some odd reason, his presence made you furious. a part of you couldn’t help but blame sae for the reason why everything went down the drain for the three of you. you roughly shoved him off, catching him off guard. 
“do me a favor and go back to spain so that i don’t ever have to see your face again, itoshi sae.” you said in a monotone, not even wanting to look him in the face as you walked away. 
a beautiful friendship that you once molded with both brothers turned nothing but into puddles of sorrow and agony. 
---
“come on, y/n! it’ll be fun, i promise.” your friend whined, trying to convince you to attend soccer match between u-20 and blue lock today. 
“eh, i don’t know. i’m not really a soccer person.” you nervously laughed, trying to shoo her away. but, your friend was persistent. 
“come on, pretty please? didn’t you say someone you know goes to blue lock?” your friend narrowed her eyes, making you look at the side as you tried to come up with a lie. 
“well, uhm, yeah? but like, i don’t know if he’s still playing in it.” you scratched the back of your neck, trying your best to decline her offer as politely as possible. 
you knew that these tickets were hot and porbably costed a lot of money, yet her friend who is playing in the match gave her two. 
“well then, i guess you’ll find out!” she said and you sighed in defeat. 
“fine.” you mumbled, taking the ticket from her hand. 
you both were now outside of the stadium, the lines were making you feel all sweaty and suffocated. you texted your friend, getting annoyed that she was running late and you felt a little stupid standing in the middle of all of these die-hard soccer fans. 
“ah, sorry! i’m here.” you friend waved to you at the distance, running over as you rolled your eyes. 
“i was gonna go home if you didn’t show up within the next minute.” you gave a small empty threat, making her chuckle. 
“hey, no worries. getting inside won’t take too long, let’s get jersey’s!” she sang out, dragging you the stand where they were selling the shirts. 
“i’ll get number eleven for blue lock please.” you friend said, pulling her wallet to pull out the money. you read the name on the shirt: isagi yoichi. it was most likely the friend that gave her these tickets. 
“what about you, y/n?” she looked at you and your eyes scanned the shirts for both u-20 and blue lock but the summer’s heat was making you feel dizzy. so you just went with some random number that popped inside your head. 
“uh, i don’t know, number ten?” you asked more than said. the man gave you a judgemental look which made you a little embarrassed. 
“for which team? u-20′s number ten is itoshi sae and blue lock’s number ten is itoshi rin.” the man informed you, making your heart drop as those two names rang loud and clear in your ears. 
no way that this could’ve all just been pure coincidence. you were broken out of your thought as the line grew, deciding that no one would even see you anyways from the distance. so, you’d cheer him on behind the scenes. 
“blue lock’s number ten, please.” you said with a small smile. 
after purchasing the jersey, you and your friend went to the bathroom to change into it. after you both were done, she guided you through different doors in which security people guarded it. 
“vip tickets.” you friend eagerly showed them both your and her ticket to the man before they gave her a brief nod. they opened the red rope barrier and allowed you two to enter. 
“hey, this is so close to the field.” you said in awe, looking at the huge green field before you. 
“of course, dummy. we have first row seats.” she gave you a wide smile, making your heart thump. you both took your seat, waiting for the match to start. the announcer people did their little speeches, making you bored. until, the doors opened and the players began to walk in. 
you watched how u-20 walked in, the familiar red head leading the team. your gaze fell on his jersey, it was number ten, itoshi sae. the door on the opposite side opened and the blue lock players walked in and it felt like time had stopped when your eyes fell on the person’s jersey whom you were wearing. 
itoshi rin. 
you noticed how rin’s eyes held a different glint in them, it was filled with determination and the will to devour. he was finally going to play against his brother whom he once dreamt of playing together with side by side. the more you remember that old childish dream that you three dreamt of, the more your heart ached. 
you could only wish that it could go back to that. 
the match has been going for what felt like an eternity, but you couldn’t help but have your palms get sweaty. it was intense, both teams filled with bery talented and skilled players. this was your first time watching rin and sae play soccer, as you’d always skip out on their practices in the past because it was boring to you. 
but now after witnessing it live, you were nothing but dumbstruck from amazement. their speed, intellect, strength, stamina and overall talent was unremarkable. you would be liar if you denied the fact that you were proud of both of them. 
yet, your heart was rooting for blue lock to take home the victory. unfortunately, things weren’t going towards your liking as u-20 was in the lead. one more goal in for u-20 sent the whole crowd roaring and cheering for none other than itoshi sae. 
however, your eyes not even once fell on him. you were more focused on rin, his every move was sharp and hypnotizing. you watched him pant from exhaustion, until a different aura replaced him. 
you looked at him and your heart dropped to your stomach, recognizing that look from before. it was a look as if a demonic entity has taken over him, his eyes darkening as his tongue slipped out in focus. 
fuck. 
you watched him go berserk, zooming past all the players and strategically knocking down everyone’s skills with his own. that was until he was now head on head against sae now. 
you noticed how his movements waivered for a little, but he shrugged it off and continue to get in his shooting range without being interrupted by sae. the crowd grew quiet as they began to whisper and murmur about the sibling rivalry. 
you heard them badmouthing rin, taking sae’s side just because rin wasn’t as well known like sae. you couldn’t take it anymore, leaning over. 
“you could do it, itoshi rin! make that fucking goal, rinnie!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, your voice catching both brother’s attention. rin looked at you with shock, sharing the same look with sae. you gave rin a hopeful smile, giving him a thumbs up. 
“i believe in you, rin! you can make that goal!” and with that being said, it was as if his mind was being possessed by your voice, your words guiding him as his body acted on its own. 
rin surpressed sae, who didn’t even notice because he was startled by your sudden appearence amongst the crowd. and in a matter of seconds, rin’s leg swung and like fire the ball hit the net. 
“fuck yeah!!” you jumped from your seat as the announcers flooded everyones ears with compliments towards rin. 
blue lock won. 
---
“holy shit, that game was insane!” your friend babbled, making you chuckle as you nodded your head in agreement. 
“yeah, it was.” you smiled, the events of rin’s amazing goal and overall play rewinding in your mind. 
“hey, i’m gonna go catch up with my friend. i’ll text you when i get home.” you friend quickly excused herself and you nodded your head, wanting to leave as soon as possible to avoid bumping into either brothers. 
you were finally able to leave the stadium, now outside as you saw the sun was slowly setting. you leaned against the fence, taking in the breathtaking sight.
“running away from me so soon?” a voice spoke out, sending chills down your spine. you turned your head only to see the 6′1 striker walking towards you while drinking water. he was out of his uniform, now wearing nothing but sweats and a t-shirt. 
“rin..” you said under your breath, your voice already half gone from your screaming. you haven’t seen rin face to face for a while now, especially after that night. he made your heart tremble, your knees weak and you always grew nervous. 
“never expected you to show up to one of my games.” rin blurted out, making you scoff. 
“why? ‘cause you think i don’t know anything about soccer since you’re a hotshot player and i’m not?” you taunted, making his lips curl a little upwards into a small smirk. 
“you’re the one who said soccer was boring.” he argued, making you tsk. 
“well, it’s not as boring when watching you play it.” you mumbled under your breath, but your words were as clear as day to rin and it made his heart swell with pride. 
“is that so?” rin asked, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. his skin softly grazed your face, making your cheeks grow warm. your eyes remained on the ground, not being able to meet his intense eye contact. 
rin let out a sigh, grabbing your chin before forcing you to look up to him. he looked down at your flustered face, looking over every feature that he has memorized in his mind. you were still the same, the only difference is you’ve matured as you’ve grown. 
your adorable doey eyes that would look at him like he’s the most interesting person ever to exist, your cute button nose that would scrunch up in excitement, soft and chubby cheeks that would blush whenever he kissed them and plump lips that would say the sweetest things to him. 
you’ve never left itoshi rin’s mind. 
“why did you come today?” he asked, looking into your eyes like he’s trying his best to search for the truth. 
“my friend had extra tickets.” you admitted, watching his eyes droop a little and lose their shine. 
“oh.” his voice sounded disappointed. 
“the man in the jersey stall asked me if i wanted u-20′s number 10 or blue lock’s number 10. i chose you, rin.” you said before cupping his face, getting tired of knocking on this hard wall rin has built around his heart. 
rin could feel his heart hammering against his chest, the unfamiliar feeling of this weird fuzz made him confused. you were rooting for him from the beginning? 
“but why? sae is still a better player than me, i got that goal in by luck because he was distracted.” rin frowned, dropping your hands from his face as you heavily sighed. 
“even if everyone in that entire crowd cheered for sae, i would still be your number one supporter and wear your number and scream for you loud and proud. whether you won or lost, you’ll always be the one that i would root for, rinnie.” you gave him a ceshire smile, that beautiful shimmer in your eyes returning just like how you’d have it when talking to him as a child. 
suddenly, you grabbed his neck before pulling him into your chest, hugging him tightly. you didn’t want to fight against your feelings anymore, you no longer cared. 
“i’ll always choose you, rin. i love you, i love you so, so, so damn much that it hurts. all these years of being away from you made me become nothing but miserable. come back to me, rinnie, please.” you begged, tears streaming down your face as you sniffled. 
and it took only those few words to have that wall itoshi rin built around his heart to come crumbling down. he tightly wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist. 
“i missed you so much, y/n. i’m so sorry. i-i don’t even know what to say.” he stammered, as you felt him sniffling against your chest. your hand came down to his cheeks, wiping away his tears as you shook your head. 
“it’s okay, i know it was hard on you. you suffered a lot on your own.” you kissed his forehead lovingly, feeling him tighten his embrace. 
“but still, i was such an asshole to you because i was so consumed by my hatred. i’m so sorry for hurting you, y/n. i felt so guilty, i couldn’t even face you because i knew my feelings would conflict with me.” rin admitted, making your heart skip a beat. 
“i love you too, y/n. i always have and i always will.” he said, leaning away from your chest to meet your gaze as his eyes softened. you giggled in content, your hand going behind his neck to pull him into a kiss. 
it wasn’t anything too much, a soft yet savoring kiss that you both shared. rin could taste the sweet fruity gloss you used on your lips, humming at it’s sweetness. you smiled against his lips before pecking them multiple times. you cupped his cheeks, squishing them as a pout forcibly formed on his lips. 
“ahhh, you’re so cute, rinnie! i just wanna eat you up!” you squealed, continuing to pepper his face and pouty lips with smooches. rin’s face noticibly grew warm and red, but he liked getting this kind of attention from you. 
you both spent the next few minutes just hugging and pecking each other, enjoying each other’s close company that you both ached for all those years. 
“we got the whole week off, so uh, do you wanna go on a date?” rin asked, averting his eyes from you. a teasing grin danced on your lips as you decided to play with him a little. 
“hmm, i don’t know. let me think.” you pretended to think hard, making him scoff. 
“y/n!” rin whined, playfully smacking your thigh as you chuckled. 
“just kidding! of course i’ll go on a date with you, rin. but, only if you first ask me to be your girlfriend.” you asked with a cheeky smile, making him pinch your nose. 
“now you’re asking for too much.” rin teased, making you scoff. 
“hey, i was your lucky charm that helped you make that goal. the least you can do is ask me to be your girlfriend.” you roll your eyes, sending him a small glare. 
“now why would i give you any credit for that goal.” rin tilted his head, making you huff. 
“jerk, fine, then go on that date by yourself.” you said in a petty tone, squirming out of his release before walking off. rin chuckled to himself, knowing that you were right. your voice was the only thing that put him in that trance to make that goal, so yes, you were his lucky charm. 
rin lightly jogged behind your before engulfing your figure into a back hug. he snuggled his face in the crook of your neck before kissing your temple. 
“be my girlfriend and go on that date with me.” he said, pressing a tender kiss on your cheeks. a girly smile was now plastered on your face and you hummed. 
“if you insist, okay then!” you exclaimed, your stomach filled with butterflies. 
“good, i can’t win my games without my lucky charm.” rin breathed out in content, wrapping an arm around your waist as he held you close while you both walked. 
from a distance, the other itoshi watched, tightly clutching onto his duffle bag. an overwhelming amount of sadness washing over him as he watched his once beloved brother and childhood friend walk away together. 
sae let out a heavy sigh, walking in the opposite direction as a bitter smile was on his lips. in a way, the dream you three have dreamt came true today. 
the itoshi brothers played together in an intense soccer match while you were in the front rows cheering. only difference was the molten sea of hate and complicated feelings that made things more different. 
you only cheered for rin, completely ignoring sae’s existence and perhaps that why this feeling of tightness in his chest prevented him from even caring about what rin had in plan next during the match. 
although you and rin found each other once again in the same world, itoshi sae realized that he was way far gone from you both. 
he could no longer dream the same dream as you and rin. 
itoshi sae has lost his brother and his childhood best friend and he knew that he couldn’t blame anyone else but himself. 
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kismets-barista · 1 year ago
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"Aren't you tired?" Branch's voice was quiet as he held a hand out the older troll. Whether it be that JD took it, or at least made a notion Branch was allowed touch him, the younger wanted to offer him comfort.
Cicadas chirped their song slowly in the air of the forest, small, lighting bugs and fluorescent lights casting a dim glow onto the fur of the trolls as they made their way down the peacefully bubbling creek's bend. Following a well-trod path, sandy and worn with stacks of rocks that JD and Branch had kicked over into piles earlier.
John Dory's steps slowed, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, face sinking into the fur of his worn gilet. The moon cast a grey wash over him, and the troll shrugged softly.
"Maybe... just of pretending that things we going to go back to the way I thought they'd be. I built a little dream in my head, but here I am. Stupid, old John Dory stuck in the past. He wants to be happy but he's just a scrapbooked version of what he used to be. He can't move on."
His voice was so small. And it broke Branch's heart, to see him like this. Tail dragging on the ground, the troll looking half his size. His face, grey and wary. Exhausted, in every sense of the word.
"Hey."
JD didn't know why the word had such an effect on him, but his stormy blue eyes were pulled from the discolored fur of his feet and up to Branch's much brighter, bluebird iries.
"You don't have to be stuck in the past anymore. I know exactly what that's like, JD. Let me help, okay?"
Dory shook his head minutely, a rush of anxious adrenaline filling his chest and shooting up his shoulders and down to his hands. His brother became a watercolor of himself as tears blurred and distorted JD's vision, and a trembling hand went up to wipe at the tears gingerly.
"Branch... I'm *scared.*"
"I was too. But I'm here for you. We all are."
He held out his arms, and JD collapsed into the hug. They went crashing down to the sand, and Branch held his brother as he sobbed his heart out.
He had him. And he wasn't letting go.
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irisfixation · 7 months ago
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so, you've been flirting back and forth with a self-proclaimed 'eldritch girl'. one thing led to another, and now here she is, in your state, on your couch. not entirely due to you, of course - she's got friends to see here - but you'd like to think your presence sweetened the pot.
you share a few more flirts, a 'this could be us' here and a blown kiss there, and then - quite out of the blue, she makes an offer.
"you know, if you want, i can rape you and rewrite your whole being" (her words).
she's leaning over you a little. you ask her if she's joking or being genuine, a little tremble in your tone, and she says nothing. but she gives a horny kind of smirk at you.
and you think ah fuck it, sounds hot and tell her to do whatever. you're a bored and depressed tranny in your 20s so of course you do.
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the sex is good.
really good, actually; you try to tell her as much in the moment, but the only thing that makes it past your lips are your drool and her tongue.
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next day. she's already left your place, and you're back to the typical rote and routine - dishes to clean, messages to check, et cetera.
you clean.
you eat.
you get ready for the oncoming week, even through the malaise.
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you're watching a dream. one that melts into itself, the way muddied watercolors do. it's hardly that exciting of a dream. no fantastical stories here, no surreal absurdity - just your daily life, broadcast on repeat. you witness it on autopilot and sped up, the avatars and faces of your friends flying past, and-
you look down. the memories keep playing on the tv in front of you, but you're separated from them. besides the screen, the room's dark. you're on your couch.
it's at this point you realize, in a manner that feels distinctly and cognitively wrong, that you never left this couch that night. you had sex with her, and then- then what?
you look back to the tv screen. it's playing a different dream now. a vision of you, right where you're sitting, dreaming. and her, sitting right by your side, her nails digging into you.
every night you return here. every night you forget. your heart goes cold in your chest; the tv shows night after night of you and her, right where you're sitting now. a silhouette falls over the tv for a moment - some part of you considers turning to look, but you're frozen in place.
she has her claws in you, in each of your dreams. or her nails, or... something convulsing, that you can't quite see. each time you realize and try to pull yourself out of that seat, to run out the door and call for help, to try and let your thoughts be entirely your own again, she grabs you - drags you back into the house - drags you back to that moment in time. that eternity.
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you stir. must've fallen asleep looking at posts again. feels like you had a bad dream; but hey, at least it was just a dream.
always kinda weird to dream about someone you know, though. maybe you should go and chat her up again, flirt some, see how much that weird dream lines up with reality. you've got nothing better to do.
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(A GAGGED VOICE WITHIN YOUR BRAIN TRIES TO SCREAM: "YOU ARE FALLING BACK INTO HER GRASP AGAIN, RUN")
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yakutarts · 2 months ago
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My first commission of the entire fucking year.
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Explanation why this has the Undertale tag under the cut ⬇️
This is a Discord commission for Reef, thank you so much for commissioning me, it truly means a lot and it has been a really long time since I drew for someone else. ♥️
Wtf this has to do with Undertale? This is a dragonized version of the client’s OC, Pearl. She’s a ship child of Dream and Blue, for further context, see this post. Basically his OC if she was a “dragon” like Dream and Nightmare (Dragon is between “” cuz they are not actual dragons, because that wasn’t what I intended while creating the designs, it isn’t a “them but dragons AU”, but a “Them if they didn’t had skeleton vessels AU”. But I will continue use the term because it stuck and it’s the most simple way to describe them.)
BOY do I have things to yap about this. It’s been SO LONG since my last client (August 2023), and I was actually a little nervous, worried that it might not look good but it turned out quite amazing! There is no better motivator like money! /hj
The top 3 hardest parts of making this was figuring out how to place the neck and back plates and how they are going to overlap each other, the neck angle and how it bends was not helping at all lol, had to revise it 3 times to make sure it was right. Tried to make them pearl shaped while having some resemblance to Dream’s plate design since that’s his child and all.
Second hardest part was the coloring, since this is a custom design and my reference was a skeleton, I had to cook some shit up. I spent some hot time wandering how I should color this without making it look boring, this is a flat body comm so I had to figure out how to make it look interesting without shading everything so it wouldn’t look bland. Coloring with watercolor made it easier, more textured. Decided to pick a gradient between green and blue, in the beginning it kinda felt like I was coloring a beach. The underbelly was actually gold before it got changed to pale yellow, the star pattern, white freckles and the darker color in the plates is what made it stand out the most.
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The last hardest part of this was resisting the urge to shade it, cuz damn I really wanted to.
But well, that’s pretty much it! I hope to get more clients with more frequency, instead of 1 every six months or I this case 1 per year 💀.
Honestly I have been really happy with everything so far, I really like the UTMV community and I get fuzzy feelings at the thought that somebody liked my “true form apple twins” AU so much that they diced to commission me a piece based on that idea. It really means everything to me after the things I have been through (dw about it).
ALSO ALSO! Since this is a Dreamberry ship child, during the whole commission, start to finish, I could only think about this /j :
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Yes I made this yes I hyper focused on making this right after I finished the main drawing no I’m not normal.
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Pearl belongs to Reef
Dreamtale belongs to @ Jokublog
Ink!sans belongs to @ Myebi / @ Comyet
Swap!sans created by PopcornPrince / now Community Owned
True Form AU / Designs belong to me ( @ yakutarts)
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nanamimizz · 2 years ago
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𝐃𝚶𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝚬𝐀𝐕𝚬 𝐀 𝐌𝚬𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝚬 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝚬𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝚬 𝐓𝚶𝐍𝚬.
 tags: 18+ minors dni, fem reader, penetrative sex, female receiving oral, unprotected sex, overstimulation, dubcon voyeurism (reader is not aware of it happening), themes of jealousy, possessiveness, reader and kunigami grew up together but began dating well into his pro soccer career, phone sex, shitty ex boyfriends, references to the hellscape that is blue lock- let me know if i missed something. inspired greatly by @prettyboykatsuki
synopsis: when your ex-boyfriend keeps the phone ringing the the last thing he expects is for your current boyfriend to pick up the call.
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When Kunigami returned from Blue Lock it was your happiest day, 6 months away from him who was at the time your best friend, was painful but when he gripped you tightly in his arms after being destroyed and rebuilt for the sport he loves you knew something else happened to him beyond soccer training. His career took off and you were there for him every step of the way but it was undeniable that he came back differently. Kunigami Rensuke at the age of 17 was warm - it shone in the autumn of his eyes the gentle way he would tuck the hair behind your ear when you would confide in him the terrible things your then boyfriend had said to you and it was felt in the understanding ways he would comfort you. Now he has changed - before he was a warm campfire, now Kunigami Rensuke was a wildfire that rages just for you and the field. 
 And maybe it is because of this newfound fire that makes him act the way he does when he finds out that your stupid fucking ex-boyfriend has been calling you non-stop since he was away for the season. It was the first thing you told him when he came back - that you planned to change your number as soon as he came back since your ex-boyfriend who had broken up with you 2 years after high school, right before you met, has taken to calling you and messaging you. Sometimes it was drunkenly, other times it was when he was sober but all the same, Kunigami hated it.
Kunigami does not hate most things - aside from losing and milk-soaked cereal he really, really hates your ex-boyfriend. He hates how the dumb schmuck doesn’t know that your favorite breakfast since middle school is toast with butter and jam followed by hot coffee with milk. He hates that he didn’t know that your favorite manga is Fruit Baskets and your favorite pokemon is a Glaceon. He hates how the fucking idiot doesn’t know that it’s your dream to see the Northern Lights and that you like a watercolor painting even if you aren’t the best at it yet.
Most of all, Kunigami Resnuke hates that this man had you for 5 years, throughout high school and two years after, and could not treat you with the decency you deserved. It was almost unjust, how a man like that had a woman like you. You were a kind-hearted girl, he remembers being little kids and how you struggled to play soccer with him but you always entertained him just because him being happy made you happy. Or you trying to learn how to play his scary gun games because that's what he liked to play and the years had made you as beautiful as your heart, it is an undeniable truth. Now you were his and he made it his goal to treat you as lovingly as you regard him.
Even if he has to put up with both of your mothers knowing and teasing glances at your budding and enduring relationship.
This is why he takes it personally when he hears your phone ring only a day when he’s back in the country - returning from abroad from the season and he sees a blocked number flash on the screen. Sucking at his teeth, a habit he’s picked up from Isagi from all people and he slides the call denied button, turning off your phone to give you peace of mind for the rest of the night. It works only for a while as you come out of the shower, skin flushed from the water he often jokes about being scalding with a soft smile that fades when you reach for your phone, turning it out to look through your emails and find that someone had called you - the person you wish had never even taken a second glance at. It makes Kunigami frown, he hates it when your smile falls and your pretty face is made into something that tugs at his heartstrings.
It bothers him, an itch he can’t scratch as he watches you from the corner of his eye as you go through your routine of brushing your hair and applying lotion to your freshly bathed body - a new habit you started as you had enough of dealing with the itchiness of dry skin.  That sad look on your face haunts him every time he closes his eyes and it’s what leads him to get up from his place on the bed until he is at your back from where you sit in front of the mirror. You raise your gaze to look at him through the mirror and you smile, so softly he still feels his knees go a little weak.
“Hi baby,” You say as you lean back to him to let him put his hands - so big and tan on your shoulders until your back is flush with his front. Kunigami is mighty in all things and even his heart can be felt through his skin until it marches to the beat of your own. Between the two of you, you are the one that vocalizes the affection of your relationship - saccharine pet names often befall your lips in a way that leaves him hot, cheeks blushing, and ears tinted pink. Even now Kunigami does not stand a chance when you call him your baby.
“Are you okay?’ He asks and you only sigh, eyes downcast in a way he can’t stand, and he tongues at his cheek in frustration because he knows why you are upset but he can’t do much about it if he doesn’t want to end up in some prison. You don’t even have it in you to say something back, letting yourself be brought close to him in a way that makes you wish you could just melt into bones and be one with the man you love more than anything.
“You want a distraction?” He asks, nose in your hair and he sighs at the scent of peppermint and tea tree oil. His question makes you shake - yes, yes you would like a distraction only he can give to you. You had wanted to hold back, give him the night to be settled but you’ve missed Rensuke, you missed how he kisses you and how he makes love to you. This time apart has been hard, the constant digging of an old wound has made you vulnerable and you need him as close to you as possible right now.
It’s why Kunigami takes you to the bed - kisses you with teeth and tongue, and puts his mouth on places only he has discovered. No one compares to him in how thorough he is with pulling every whine and soft moan from your plush mouth. He has you on your back, your legs crossed and narrowed with your heels digging into the curvature of his flexed shoulders as he keeps you in place for himself to devour you entirely. White teeth shine with the slick he pulls from you, lips that are often bitten and slightly cracked are wet with you as you tremble above him, sighing his name like he’s some sort of god to you - “Rensuke, Rensuke, Rensuke!”
Maybe he is because that’s what lovers see each other as right? He is sure you were something divine from the moment you two traded vulpixes and growlthies in the copies of LeafGreen and FireRed you two played in his childhood room to how he looks at the diamond rings he plans for the engagement that you don’t even know about. He drinks from you like you are something mythical, ambrosia and nectar can be sourced only from what your spread legs bear for him and him alone, he doesn’t even notice it but he’s made you cum twice now. Kunigami raises his head, the bottom half of his face slicked and shining with you and he eyes your puffy cunt with hungry eyes.
Desire, he hungers for more of what only you give.
You’re breathless, panting, and soaked with cum on your bottom half, sweat above the waist. Autumn eyes stay focused on your puffy cunt, swollen and sticky with his drool, and your release that clings between your thighs like a spider’s web. His tongue, the same one that was as deep as it can get inside of you, licks his bottom lip and you can only clench around nothing at the sight of it. Kunigami grins victoriously at the motion, you always bring your thighs flush when you clench and tighten at the idea of him being inside of you he finds it precious as it is enticing.  He laughs, it’s gruff to your ears but you already know what comes next so with a whine that is lost in the heated air of the room, you spread your legs and he soothes your hiss with a thumb that rubs at your inner thigh.
His cock is in his other hand that doesn’t soothe you and you try not to think that it is so like him - one side still has the Kunigami you grew up with and the other has the side of him that changed without you. His cock is tanned and heavy, bending under its weight it frightened you the first time you saw it; it would be a lie to say it still doesn’t. However Kunigami is a kind lover, he makes sure you are wet, leaking for him before he puts that monster you’ve lovingly called it before near you. This is why when the head meets the fluttering opening of your heat you only whine - high-pitched and faint when it first pushes in and you only gasp at the halfway point where his cock is the thickest. Kunigami huffs a laugh, he still thinks it’s cute you take his cock every time like it’s the first time although his libido makes it so you’ve taken him almost a hundred times.
You’ve taken him to base now - he fills you so well you wonder if you were made to be his. Panting and drooling, your legs are wrapped uselessly around his hips from how they tremble under the weight of his strokes. Kunigami likes to fuck you deeply, starting slow he builds the pace until your brain is melting out of your ears. Your breath is shortened, it’s hard to moan out his name at its full length and it’s apparent in how you mutter out short rasps of “Ren, Ren - oh!” Short, girlish little pants are taken from you and Kunigami delights in them - this is what victory tastes like, bathed in the sweetness of your honey that sticks to his pelvis to his balls.
He can still taste it on his tongue too.
The head of his cock never misses, it hits the bundle of nerves on your insides that make you squeal into his neck as your thighs are molded into his hips, he feels like he is something special if he gets to see you like this. 
Which is why, when your phone rings for the second tonight - you can only moan when you see the darkened look that paints his handsome face. The gray screen of the blocked number flashed and something wicked came your way. You couldn’t have stopped him, your mind is muddled by pleasure and your form is weakened by how he saps the strength from you with each thrust. You are entirely helpless when he reaches over, Kunigami as long as he is broad and he answers the phone with a well-timed thrust that makes you moan high over the rustling of the sheets and your boyfriend’s low moans. The call is quiet, shock paints the absence of sound as the sounds of your coupling echo in the receiver of the call.
“The hell you keep calling for - she’s fucking,” Kunigami rasps a groan as your cunt flutters, a sign that your third completion of the night is on the rise.” Fuck, she’s busy. Stop calling.”
You can faintly hear the muffled curses that your ex lets out but it doesn’t matter now because now you are thrown over the cliff's edge - Kunigami’s thumb found itself at your clit while you were too busy gazing up at him. The pleasure is immense, from the way he looks down at you; Kunigami sees you as both his person and his possession - people are allowed to covet for what is his but they are not allowed to commit any attempt to try and take it. He can share anything but you, he can give anything up but you. The same way he is greedy so is the pleasure he plucked from you, your vision whitens and you swear you hear the ocean in your ears.
Kunigami Rensuke has earned the right to be at your side, anyone else is a nobody that doesn’t deserve to breathe your air. Not even the stupid fucking chump that once was your boyfriend.
You are so lost in the sea of pleasure you don’t realize that the call hasn’t dropped yet - the receiver echoed the warbled cries and moans of you cresting orgasm paired with the sticky, wet sound of your cunt being fucked makes you whine in embarrassment as your hearing returns to you. Kunigami is still fucking you - drawing his hips back to press himself deeper and deeper until it aches. It’s only when it aches does he cum with a grunt, hands gripping into the soft skin of your hips and it’s like he is trying to well his fingers to your bones - so he may never have to be apart from you again.
The call is still going and you’re still still in a haze. You can’t hear what your man says into the microphone, his voice low and gruff from pleasure - “Call her again, and I’ll beat the shit out of you.” The call is cut, and that is the last day you ever hear from your ex boyfriend. 
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rotworld · 4 months ago
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25: Waking Nightmare
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art by @exorbitantsqueakingnoises
if you sleep, you'll dream. if you dream, you'll see him. if you see him, you will never be free.
->original work. explicit; contains non-con, graphic descriptions of violence, hard vore, terato, non-human genitalia, mind-altering magic.
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You can feel him all the time now. Not just when you close your eyes.
But it’s fine. That’s normal. It’s just residual magic. You get the same sticky cobweb feeling when you work with infernal pigments or walk by a Fundamentals of Magical Writing class in the first few weeks when people are still knocking their Stygian ink bottles over. That’s just how it works. If you dunk your head in a pool, you’ll drip for a while. Nothing weird or worrying about it. It’ll go away on its own.
You stay out late a lot these days. Not for any real reason, honestly, you’re just busy. And why hole up in your dark, quiet, isolated apartment when you could hit the town instead? There’s no time like the present to start enjoying clubs, concerts and all the dazzling nightlife Obelos has to offer. Your final exhibition is coming up and you’ve been working hard on getting those pieces ready, of course, but you need a break. Anyone would. It’s fine that you’re at the bar until it closes. It’s fine.
“You look tired,” people have started to say. 
Well, obviously. It’s grad school! Everyone’s tired. Someone pass the tube of crepuscular blue. You stand up straighter in front of your easel. If you focus, your hand will stop shaking. You yawn and it spreads like a virus. See? you say. How are those gallery applications coming along? 
The goetia double-major brags that they’re going great, actually, thank you so much for asking. “I’m in contact with the director of Gallery Decadentia,” she says casually, savoring the jealous glares and chorus of seething “Woooow, congratulaaaaations.” She’s become almost tolerable since securing a Benefactor-Patron. A little less smugness and a lot less tainting the communal workshop paints with subtle poison and then acting shocked and heartbroken when a classmate is out for a week with the worst flu of their life. 
“Have any tips for snagging a Patron?” somebody asks. 
She shrugs. “Study goetia. Honestly, I don’t know how else people do it nowadays. You’re out of luck unless you get into one of those really big expos. It’s that or somnarium painting.” 
“Didn’t you do that for a while?” 
The room gets quiet and you glance up from the stormy swirls forming on your canvas. Oh. They’re asking you. And now they’re staring, because your eyes are bloodshot and you keep tapping one of your hands against your thigh in an irregular rhythm to keep yourself alert and awake. You shrug. “For a little bit, yeah. It was good practice, I guess.” 
You sound dismissive and they’re all nodding. “It’s so kitsch. I don’t get it.”
“Ugh, I had to do a bunch in Dream Augury a couple years ago. Huge waste of time.” 
“I think they’re great,” someone says, terse. “It depends how you do it. Some of the greatest masterpieces of the Renaissance were somnarium paintings.” 
“That’s completely different.” 
“Yeah, the term actually meant something back then. You didn’t just splash some watercolor on the closest surface first thing in the morning and say it came to you in a dream.”
“Expos are better anyway,” the double-major says. “You don’t want a mare for a patron.” 
“Really? Why?” 
She raises a brow. “What happened to all those great somnarium painters of the Renaissance?”
“They didn’t all go missing, though.”
“Sure,” she scoffs. “A few of them died in their sleep.” She watches you carefully for a while but you don’t care. You’re focused on your work. You have nothing to hide. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
You go out for a while. Enjoy the noise and lights, the lively ambience. You grab coffee. You window shop. You take the scenic route home. It’s well past midnight and you’re nodding while trying to find your keys in your pocket. You feel him. He’s there when your eyelids flutter. You jolt upright and shove your keys in the lock and it’s fine, all fine. You lock the door behind you. It’s dark. The lights don’t work right. You keep changing out the bulbs and they keep dying to a barely-there glow, weaker than little flickering candles.
Paper crumples under your shoe. That happens a lot. Kind of unavoidable when you’ve got sketches all over the floor and tables and chairs and stuffed in the drawers and pasted on the walls. Some are quick, frantic pencil scribbles, some ink, some hazy with watercolor, some sharp and acrylic. They’re of everything. Shapes. People. Plants. Animals. Corpses. Hungry castles. Seashell staircases and stained glass forests. And deer—lots of deer. Herds of deer, fractal deer, deer metamorphosis, deer saints. Close-ups of long lashes and bar pupils. Antlers that grasp.
You set an alarm for one hour from now. There are twelve more after that just in case. You might not even sleep. You might just lay down and rest your eyes for a second and—
You blink and there’s a house. A big one. A small one. It keeps changing. Cabin, cottage, courtyard full of butterflies. There’s a garden arch covered in clinging green tendrils and flowers that glow like the moon. Well, that’s alright, you tell yourself. It happens. Maybe you were just a little more tired than you thought. You set the alarms. You’ll be alright. 
You step through the arch and into a rustic foyer; stone floor, wooden walls. Candles flicker. The hallway forks in three directions, each dark path lit only by a breadcrumb trail of flickering candles. You start walking. It doesn’t matter where. Open doorways line the hall, each room beckoning your attention with the beauty of full-bloom gardens, tranquil beaches and palatial bedchambers. Some are already occupied. The people inside sigh, and weep, and scream.
Here you are again, in the somnarium.
“Are you lost, sweetie?” 
Someone peeks out of a room up ahead. A man. A mare, probably. He’s wearing a guise but there’s an unnatural, subtle luminescence around him, a soft haloing glow as though he’s standing in front of a light. He leans in the open doorway, an arm bent against the frame, head cocked and smile alluring. Light, silky robes hang from his body like a draped toga, the fabric translucent so you can see the subtle outline of his figure beneath. 
“I’m not lost,” you insist. “I’m just…”
“Why don’t you come here? There’s always room for one more.” You see movement behind him. Squirming. Writhing. Bodies entangled, arched backs and thrusting hips; a shared dream of pleasure. Three humans kiss and caress one another. The glint of eyes in the dark tells you another mare is watching. The one at the door tilts your chin, returning your attention to his face. “Mm. What a sweet, sweet scent. But you’re a little too lucid for my tastes.” He sighs, patting your cheek. “Run along now. I’m sure someone will be very happy to see you.”
You keep walking. The hall never seems to end, splitting into even more maze-like paths. There are spiral staircases and cellar doors, windows to other worlds. You keep moving because that’s better than standing still. You looked it up. Mares prefer ambush to pursuit, but that doesn’t mean they won’t go on the hunt if they want something badly enough. 
You see a nightmare of being lost in one room you pass. A man stumbles down a winding mountain path in hiking gear, shivering in the frigid wind. You just barely glimpse the mare—an elongated silhouette slinking through the trees. Across the hall, a woman dreams of a labyrinthine college campus and a classroom she can’t find and a mare follows closely behind her, nipping at her heels, hissing that she’s going to fail this class. 
Further on, a shared nightmare of being chased has ended and the mares feast on their quarry. Your stomach churns at the sight and sound of gushing blood and cracking bone, the squelch of disembowelment. The dreamers struggle but they’ve already lost. They are always weaker than the hunters in their dreams, always too slow to outrun them. Some are shocked awake immediately, vanishing from the somnarium and leaving pouting mares behind. 
But some linger, screaming for help and for mercy that’s never coming beneath their vicious attention. The mares wrench limbs from their sockets. They rip chunks of flesh from chests and thighs and lick the blood from their clawed fingers. They reach into the ragged, gaping wounds they make and shudder in delight at the fear their prey feels, the helplessness, the despair. Frenzied, their guises flicker and slip, revealing the wispy, protean strangeness beneath. They are ungulates—goats but not, caribou but wrong, spider-horses and centipede-deer. They move in ways they shouldn’t. Their bodies can’t decide how many legs to have and their faces are a constant shift of beauty and incomprehensible horror.
You see someone try to crawl away, shrieking in mindless terror when a mare pounces on their back. It stabs straight through their shoulder, staking them to the ground with a spear-like hoof. It rips at their clothes with its teeth and stomps their legs when they try to wriggle free, pummeling flesh and shattering bone. More legs—thin and spindly, sometimes hands, sometimes claws and pincers—emerge from its body to shove their head into the dirt and raise their hips. It makes itself a long, flat-headed cock already hard and drooling precum, grinding the grotesquely large organ against its prey’s backside. 
“Hello, pet.” 
You freeze when a hand seizes your shoulder and a warm, firm body presses against your back. Human, but only to the torso. You didn’t hear his hooves but you feel them now, knocking against your ankles. “Aelius,” you stammer. “I—”
“Do not speak.” He moves around you, his hand sliding from shoulder to the other as he circles around to stand between you and the doorway, his fingers hooking beneath your chin. He is calm and collected, unchanging in contrast to the constantly shifting nightmares gorging themselves behind him. You see a large deer-centaur, the lower body piebald with spots and patches of brown and white. Long white hair spills over one shoulder and down his back, the enormous antlers crowning his head tangled with climbing vines and pale blue flowers. Red eyes flick up and down, scrutinizing you. 
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Sounds of violence and lust—blood, hunger and ecstatic moans—emanate from the room behind him. When you start to squirm, he licks his lips.
“You have been avoiding me,” he says, low and dangerous. You start to insist that you weren’t, you’d never, you know better, and he squeezes your jaw. “Do. Not. Speak,” he hisses. “And do not ever lie to me again. Such impudence.” He drags you closer, his grip on your face forcing you onto your toes. He smirks in satisfaction at the small whimper you let out. “But that is part of your charm. Come.” 
He lets go of you and steps over the threshold, his form rippling as he enters the room. He stops to look back over his shoulder, his cold gaze warning you that his patience is short tonight. You follow reluctantly, entering the nightmare of devouring. He walks slowly and through the center of the carnage, forcing you to walk through unwound ropes of intestine and splayed, partially skeletonized limbs. You know where Aelius is going. You see the rutting mare ahead, back legs spread as it thrusts wildly into the captive, impaled body in front of it. You don’t want to get any closer but he looks back sharply when you stop moving. 
“Come here,” he growls. He’s appeased by your rush to obey but only slightly. He grabs your arm and drags you closer, forcing you to stand beside him. You’re right next to the other mare, so close that you could reach out and touch its flank. You can see the dreamer’s distend around its cock, abdomen bulging obscenely with every thrust. They shudder and moan weakly in pain, fingers tangled in the grass and dirt. Every time they start to sag and go limp, close to waking, the mare twists the dagger-like limb in their shoulder and makes them scream. 
Aelius grabs you by the hair when you turn away, yanking until your scalp is burning and you let out a wounded noise. 
“You may speak,” he says. “And you will tell me what drove you to such petty mischief. Do not look away.”
You inhale shakily. You do what he asks, even though the sights and sounds of the mare’s relentless thrusts make your stomach turn. “I…I want you to let me go.” 
He chuckles, his grip loosening. He massages your scalp instead as a reward for your obedience. “Let you go?” he purrs. “Whatever do you mean by that?” 
You swallow nervously. Is he going to try and deny it? Bored of the dreamer’s quiet resignation, the mare bends its front legs, the front of its body resting heavily on their back. Its thrusts slow to harder, deeper pounding, long pauses between movements leaving it fully hilted in the dreamer’s trembling body. You hear their breath turning to strained wheezes. 
“I don’t dream about anything else anymore,” you say. “I always come here.” 
“Such things aren’t unheard of. Many humans prefer my somnarium to aimless wandering, or the predations of other demons.” 
He’s going to make you say it. Why? Because it scares you? Because you know, deep down, what’s been happening all along but didn’t want to believe it? You take a deep breath. “I can feel you. Even when I’m awake. I can feel your magic on me.” 
The mare looks at you and your breath hitches. Its face is mostly human but there are flickers of other things, a fogginess to its features. It looks at you and in that moment it knows everything you want most and everything you’re afraid of. Its eyes narrow. It licks its lips. It keeps looking at you as it spills inside the dreamer, heavy balls pressed against their ass. A slow dribble of cum leaks from their abused entrance, dark blue and glittering like the night sky. 
“Oh? Is that so?” Aelius asks, stroking your arm. “And why might that be?” 
“Because…” 
The mare pauses for a moment. It’s not resting. It doesn’t need to because it’s not tired. It waits for the human to go completely limp, to exhale finally, to close their eyes and try desperately to will themselves awake. That’s when it starts to pull, dragging itself inch by inch out of their body, all the way to the tip and letting a gush of thick, frothing cum gush down their thighs. Then it slams back in, savoring their hoarse, rasping scream, and starts to fuck them again.
“Because you’re Entrancing me,” you whisper. 
You looked it up. It’s a slow, subtle thing, easy to miss until you’re in the throes of it. First, you’re tired. You want to sleep more often. Then sleep always brings you to the same somnarium, and your dreams always push you into the arms of the same mare. Then you feel it—intrusions in your mind. Whispers and suggestions, gentle nudges. Thoughts that feel like yours but aren’t. It takes a long time for a mare to get so far in your head that it starts to leak into your waking life, but once Entrancement has set in, it can take months or even years to fully break.
The more you see him and the more he feeds, the worse it’ll be. You already respond to his touch, unable to stop yourself from leaning into his hand stroking your cheek.
“The modern age is so vexing at times,” Aelius muses. “Once, you would have needed to consult an oracle or an experienced infernal scholar to even hear that word and understand what it entailed. It matters not. You are already mine. And is that not what you asked of me?” 
You wanted security. You wanted to stop worrying about your bills and tuition and the staggering cost of infernal pigments. You wanted to know you would be alright in the end, no matter what happened. “I asked if you would be my Patron,” you say.
He smiles and leans in, bending down to be closer to eye level with your thumb caught between his fingers. “And I said I would,” he murmurs. “Gladly I would, to ensure your brush is ever wet with the finest paints, so long as you paint for me. Of course I Entranced you. You belong to me.” 
You think he’s going to kiss you. You hold your breath, waiting for it. Hoping, despite everything. It frightens you to want him this much. But instead he chuckles and pulls away, straightening to his full height. 
“Now, this is the scene you will paint for me when you wake.” He gestures to the smirking mare who arches seductively as though posing for you, its hips still snapping against its captive prey. “Look carefully,” Aelius says, grasping your shoulders. He stands right behind you, pressing his toned chest against your back. “Pay close attention. The light. The color. The movement. You will be rewarded for your attention to detail. Perhaps, someday…” He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you. “Someday, I will ask you for a self-portrait in the same style.” 
Loud, shrill noise makes you gasp and bolt upright. You wake up in bed, in the dark. You grope for your phone on the bedside table, stomach sinking when you see you slept through four of your alarms. You can feel him, even now. You can feel the weight of his gaze and the ghostly caress of his hands. You don’t know what you’re going to do. Is there someone you can tell? Someone who can help you? You know someone in the Goetia Studies Department. Maybe she—
Your heart skips a beat. You sit up slowly, pulling your leg back from the hard surface it just bumped into. There, at the foot of your bed, is a canvas and a collection of brand new infernal paint.
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