#the biggest factor in both of their characters both is their autism

[trixstriforce]

i love how botw/totk zelda is LITERALLY the Most complex character in the franchise abmd botw/totk link is LITERALLY the Least complicated character in the franchise...love wins!!!

[kira-fluff]

haikyuu!! neurodivergent headcanons 💕

tw: several listed mental illnesses, some of these are solely off of vibes but most of them I have reasons lol note! I do not believe autism is a mental illness or something that is "wrong" with an individual, hence why the title is "neurodivergent" rather than "mental illness". just had to put that out there! to all my neurodivergent babies I love you! a/n: hello! as a neurodivergent like myself (depression, anxiety, ptsd, bulimia, etc etc) i thought it would be really cool to do an analysis on one of my biggest hobbies (psychological illnesses) and relate them to haikyuu characters! some of them have a deeper explanation because I feel so strongly about it.

attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) BOKUTO, hinata, NISHINOYA, atsumu, lev

generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) sugawara, OIKAWA, asahi, yamaguchi, yachi, aone, akaashi, tendo

social anxiety disorder (SAD) asahi, KENMA

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) oikawa

depression (MDD) oikawa, KENMA, kuroo, suna, matsukawa, tendo

autism sakusa, USHIJIMA, kageyama, kyotani, kenma

eating disorder(s) (AND, BND, BED) OIKAWA, KENMA

obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) oikawa

borderline personality disorder (BPD) daishou

insomnia kuroo, kenma, osamu

hypersomnia suna

analysis under the cut

it's pretty obvious that bokuto struggles the most to self-regulate, even to others, but I personally believe that oikawa struggles the most with his mental health.

like almost everyone in haikyuu, oikawa is obsessed with volleyball, but he takes it to a point of overexertion and taking his anger and frustration at his own inadequacies out on others.

I really think oikawa's relationship between he and kageyama and he and ushijima are the ones that show how bad his anxiety is

ushijima and kageyama both don't understand the emotions oikawa is feeling which could be written off as them not understanding their talents, but I think it's something more

to me, I feel it is blatantly obvious that ushijima is autistic. he just so frequently seems to be unable to read the emotions of others or takes things literally when it's something else intended. I'm not autistic, though, so autistic community, let me know your thoughts!

bokuto and hinata both have an insane amount of energy, but struggle to be successful in school. sports works for both of them because their focus is constantly needed to be diverted or "all over the place" that it helps them be great players

kuroo is one of those other characters that I feel like I'm reaching to say he has mental health struggles but to me it just comes off in vibes. first of all, any kid with divorced parents should be in therapy so I feel there's definitely some struggles there.

I think kuroo is the type that hides his struggles and pretends they aren't happening. he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does, and so he feels he doesn't have time to deal with the emotions that leave him feeling empty

kenma was someone I immediately felt was autistic. he has so many key factors like an obsession/hyperfocus on his hobbies and trouble socializing (social anxiety).

kenma has some of the strongest evidence toward my beliefs, specifically in this quote: "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. and yet, I'm very concerned about what others think of me." like, tell me that doesn't radiate autistic/SAD vibes!!!!

idk what it is, like inadequacies or what but I genuinely believe oikawa has some kind of trauma. like he's definitely carrying something that so heavily effected him that it controls the choices he makes in life

I don't have much evidence that suna has depression, it's just a vibe because of his mannerisms and what he says. I think it's the kind where it's well-managed, but it shows up in physical symptoms like apathy more than anything.

atsumu gives ADHD vibes solely because of like how all over the place he is and how he can't always seem to properly get out what he's trying to say lol

sakusa is one that to me could be seen as "done with your bullshit" but I think he also hates crowds (like me, I mean who doesn't) and struggles socially probably because of anxiety or autism. not sure!

basing daishou off of vibes, too, because if I'm being honest all I've seen in the show is him having hostile relationships or being on-off with them, though its certain I could be reading too much into it, but that's the fun of headcanons.

do you agree with what I wrote? I would love to hear your thoughts!

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

update 11/21

actual serious pinned because some people dont Understand the other one apparently. i talk about serious things and that does include gore and essentially anything that would need a tw. huge gore draw-er also. serious things basically. most if not all portrayal of mental illnesses is based on my own experiences so do not come here saying you dont like how i show it. that being said my blog is not all entirely about that and its mostly silly and or shitposts actually. also i actually dont usually tw things uhmm. were playing roulette here. basically if you get triggered by anything i wouldnt recommend being here its always a 50/50 on if i post something silly or traumatic. dont vent in my inbox unprompted i do not fucking care i will not respond and you will only make me uncomfortable. dont be weirdly sexual at me!! i am a minor!!! i dont fucking care nor want to hear about your sex life or about your fantasies or your private areas!!!!!!! dont shove weird relationship statuses onto me either. i am not your family i am a stranger on the internet

do Not post my art uncredited unless ur a mutual or i say its fine im serious idgaf if its just a silly doodle

standard dni i guess. racists terfs homophobes proshippers zoophiles. all that. also people that ship Real Life People Instead Of The Characters. youre all fucking weird and i dont want you here ill actively make fun of you and then block

i am pro endo and i have endo friends so if you dont like that its ultimately up to you if you wanna be here or not. most htfasj fans have me blocked but if you are one and you dont ur on thin ice bro. im not forgiving any of you for fucking jumping me for saying i wasnt a fan of it. also please for the love of god if you ship glsneeg with any of the other characters do Not talk to me about it because there is a good chance i will throw up in my mouth and block you. glanboo/hetch shippers on thin ice. guy who came up with that kind of ruined it for me and now it just makes me feel uncomfortable most of the time

i have autism and im gay and i use faggot. i have some other problems that will fuck me up or that ill talk about sometimes but thats all you really need to know so im not going to dox my medical problems here

less important stuff under cut heart emoji

nearly everyone i interact with calls me sneegen. idc if new people do its basically my government name atp

this blog is genloss themed but also i talk about my genloss ocs more than the actual thing now 😓 still a huge genloss fan but sneeg and frank are the only guys ill ever talk about in there and i will throw up slash negative if i have to talk about glanboo. do NOT come here asking about glanboo unless ur a mutual im serious. i take sneeg/frank and the horror that comes with it so violently seriously and overall theres a few genloss ships i like so if ur one of those guys that think any shipping is weird you probably wont like it here. also i usually dont use any of the main tags for. anything i post. if you wanna find something youre stuck to manually searching just like everyone else sorry

kind of multifandom i guess. i have moments where i get really fixated on other media and i post about it for a bit. sneegsnag is usually a common factor in this. heavily into marble hornets creepypastas tmnt dantdm jacksepticeye and markiplier. both of their ego content and any of marks projects by extension. not into ethan nestor As Much but he is included and so is blankgameplays. i like qsmp but if i talk about it its only ever abt qsneeg or qcharlie or qdantdm and his family sometimes. osmp enjoyer but again ill only talk about sneeg if i talk about it at all

the biggest music enjoyer in the world guys. not a professional but i will talk about songs i like sometimes. tfb and teenage disaster mostly i think. maybe typhoon and bcnr also. maybe even alot of midwest emo because im a loser. im literally tfbs biggest fan guys

for my dumbass ocs i do talk about and draw them Alot. and theres alot of heavy stuff in their stories so like. if you get badly triggered by gore or murder especially i wouldnt. recommend reading into them too much. but idrk why youd be here if you did thats like my whole thing really. i dont usually talk about the actual triggering stuff in their stories i think at most ill make a vague comment that implies something but thats about it

you are allowed to draw and write and make hcs and aus for my guys i actually actively encourage it and also show me when you do i think its wonderful. ill talk about them forever if you ever wanna know something just ask and theres a 85% chance ill actually answer it

the only things im 100% serious about for my ocs is that theres canon ships for a reason. i do not give a FUCK if you think a different one is better or interesting because its not. if you come into my asks shipping anything that isnt canon im actually going to block you. im very nitpicky about this because they are My creations and every single thing about them is heavily important to me. also if you baby or demonize any of my ocs im allowed to kill you legally btw.

I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF YOU WANT MY OCS CARNALLY!!! there are certain times where i wont mind if you say stuff like that about them just DONT TELL ME ALL THE TIME!!! it is funny sometimes and sometimes i may encourage it but please god dont tell me how you want to fuck them in graphic detail unprompted. also if thats the only thing you talk to me about and you dont actually bother to know them as characters i will probably block you!!!!

if you want my ocs included in your oc lore please just. Talk To Me. about it. please. if youre normal and dont violently misinterpret my ocs ill probably be okay with it just TALK TO ME ABOUT IT

heavy encouragement to use all your braincells to interpret my ocs characters properly. idk how much more mischaracterizing in my inbox i can take

[moibakadesu]

questions for Haruka,Fuuta and Muu

favorite song lyrics?

favorite mv moment/frame?

do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

do you have any similarities with them/relate to something in them?what do you think their childhood/teenage years were like?

favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

I'm rolling these up bit by bit now, they had been marinating in my inbox for a while.

Haruka

1. Favorite song lyrics?

Let’s pick one from both Weakness as well as AKAA, shall we?

“It’s fine, though it’s really not 

It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so”

Haruka so often gives off the impression that he doesn’t care about being treated badly, if it does mean attention, but these lyrics show so clearly that in actuality he doesn’t feel that way.

“Mommy, look,

I’ve done great

“There there, my good boy!””

The delivery on this is just so good, I love how he switches up his voice so smoothly there.

2. Favorite MV moment/frame? 

I don’t have to pick only one, right? Because I can’t decide, waha. (Every frame of Haruka is my favourite frame.)

6. Favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

That should be obvious, right? Of course Fuuta. I had gone into detail with that often enough, so I will keep it simple, but the way Fuuta is so protective over Haruka is what captured my heart. And in turn how Haruka started approaching Fuuta on his own, despite the first impression that he is scary. I’m pretty sure these two could have been very good and even healing for each other if things would have gone differently with the t1 verdicts, but well, can’t change that anymore. Right now I just hope that Fuuta will be there to catch Haruka in t3, because they made sure that it is clear that he still cares deeply.

9. Do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own? 

I absolutely do forgive him. Especially if it really turned out to be suicide. Even if it wasn’t, in my eyes Haruka is the biggest victim in his case, and his mother the true culprit. If Haruka would have gotten the care and love he needed and deserved it would have never gotten to this tragedy, and I think that is the saddest part.

12. What do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

Hmm, probably his own urgency as a character, without attaching him to Muu or anything, because that is annoying as hell. As interesting as it sort of is for the overall storyline and giving different incentives to vote different ways, I was never a fan of having outside factors influence the fate of a character so strongly if the thing we are meant to judge is their sin.

I also would love it if people would take more note of the fact that being overly infantilized and babyed is not what Haruka wants at all. Yes, he wants someone to give affection and attention to him, but he also has voiced on multiple occasions that he just wants a normal life, he wants to be strong and interesting … he does not want to be defined by his disabilities and I think a lot of people misunderstand that about Haruka.

19. What do you think their childhood/teenage years were like? 

Pppfff, definitely not as good as he likes to make us think. I think his mother was already not that great to him even before his disabilities became more apparent. He probably had an extremely isolated life. I am also always torn between him getting locked up at home or maybe even having been at a mental institution. 

21. Do you have any similarities with them/relate to something in them?

Ahahah.

Crippling abandonment issues and autism. Getting attached to people quickly if they are nice and then not caring enough for my own wellbeing.

Fuuta

1. Favorite song lyrics?

You just gotta love how Bring it on’s lyrics are already so full of regret and self-loathing if you look at them properly.

“You already knew, the whole time

You can’t escape, how do you like the taste of punishment

You already noticed, right? What you gonna do

Bring it on! Those who believe in justice assemble!

You gotta be kidding, I’m an undead hero”

I have a hard time not quoting all of Backdraft here, because the lyrics are just so good, and I love the delivery of a lot of them a lot.

But I will pick this here, because it is so descriptive of Fuuta trying to put up a strong act and also some clever play of words:

“Pick up your mouth-piece

Grind your teeth and strike a pose

Just like O2, burn yourselves into oblivion”

2. Favorite MV moment/frame? 

Like with Haruka I have a very hard time picking here, because I love all the Fuutas …

Shoutout to this exact Undercover frame tho, because I think he is just incredibly handsome in that one (I love Fuuta dearly, but I don’t call him handsome in a lot of situations, waha)

6. Favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

See above at Haruka’s answer. But I also think it is cute how he warmed up to Kazui and Shidou after getting help from them, after only seeing them as “useless adults” before.

9. Do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own? 

Cancel culture is terrible and Fuuta knows damn well that he fucked up and took his SJW shit way too far, so yeah, I doubt he would ever repeat anything like that again, so I do forgive it. People like him can change, I did see it a few times. (Antis that were assholes towards me and ended up coming around and getting rid of that mindset.)

12. What do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

There are so many people treating the “Fuuta doxxed the girl” as canon fact, even though we don’t have any confirmation of that? It is just blatant misinformation born from western fans misinterpreting his Undercover shot where he is seen with his phone at the funeral of the victim as him taking a picture of her home. We know that he was aware where she lived, but we don’t know if there ever was something done from his side with that information.

I’d also love it if people would see him as more than an angry gamer or one-dimensional tsundere, because there is sooo much more to him.

19. What do you think their childhood/teenage years were like? 

I am pretty sure Fuuta was not a popular kid and was most likely also bullied in school. To me his black and white view on justice and need for validation very much feels like that. 

I also have this thought that he might have aspired to a career with soccer, but that dream didn’t work out, adding to his “whatever”-stance on work and the future.

21. Do you have any similarities with them/relate to something in them?

Sadly I am a bit of a Fuuta kinnie. /hj

I am a ball of insecurities and try to hide that a lot with tough behavior. Bleak outlook at society and the future as a whole, but gotta make it work. Gender very much “is what it is”. Small redhead.

At least I am very much the opposite of a SJW.

Muu:

1. Favorite song lyrics?

I have to say, the “rap” part of AP is pretty neat (I do like both of her songs quite a lot, I give her that), and I think that part also shows a lot of her victim mentality:

“Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me

Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret

The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note”

And controversial take, but:

“I am relieved, I am always the drama queen”

To be exact the time where she screams that at the viewer, I hate-love that part. And in my opinion “drama queen” is the perfect translation for “I am always to be pitied”, it is in essence really the same. Just a lot more of her victim complex at display.

2. Favorite MV moment/frame? 

I cannot stand the girl, but she has plenty of good scenes. I also just really like her bee design.

And special mention for Rei looking disgusted, because she is best girl and that is how I look at Muu most of the time as well.

6. Favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

None? Wahaha, I like how openly Yuno shows her disdain for Muu though, because same.

9. Do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own? 

Girl started the bullying, acted like a victim and then murdered someone without feeling remorse or feeling wrong about it in any way … honestly, Muu is pretty much my top candidate for a t3 guilty, I have not a shred of sympathy for her.

12. What do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

I honestly keep away from a lot of corners of the fandom, so I’m not sure which parts of her haven’t been discussed that much, but probably the fact that she is a pretty obvious case of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and a gigantic victim complex. I found that a lot of Muu fans try to frame her as a perfect little angel who has suffered so much and has a slightly wonky view of friendships, but in my eyes that is not her at all? It is okay to embrace the bad sides of a character as well, you don’t have to justify everything. The characters in Milgram are written very “real” and it is not surprising if some have a personality that is not very pleasant.

So taking all of this into account I suspect that Muu did not experience the extent of bullying that she likes to make us believe. We never see her disheveled or wet in her MVs, contrary to Rei. The prisoners cannot lie in their MVs, but they are 

19. What do you think their childhood/teenage years were like? 

Pampered. Mommy and daddy’s little darling. Always got everything she ever wanted from everyone. Just a spoiled little princess from the moment she was born, basically.

21. Do you have any similarities with them/relate to something in them?

Thankfully not.

[emophilzablr]

Here she is, BPD analysis.

— Disclaimer: I am not a professional, I did study psychology for most of my life and my credentials to this is simply the fact that I am BPD as well. I also want to highlight that these symptoms can also be AUTISM! And that maybe that is even more relatable to him, though, you can have both, because they really tend to coexist

Here are the symptoms of BPD, and either if he shows them or not, or if its believed he does. Remembering you don't need to have all of them, you need to fit the criteria, of some specific ones, that differentiate BPD from disorders like Bipolar and depression, and they all overlap with Autism which causes a confusion in diagnosis.

• Fear of rejection and abandonment: He keeps count of every time he was rejected, his biggest struggle in life was with the fact that Amelia rejected him, replaced him, and abandoned him, he has been in the loop of this trauma for years, it never leaves him, because that's his biggest fear coming true. His fear of boringness or of being mediocre is also in this, he wants to overcompensate so people don't reject or leave him again. Also, this symptom comes with a pattern that is very very common in this symptom, leaving first, losing interest after the chase, people with BPD leave first to not get abandoned.

• Intense and unstable relationships: We know that his romantic relationships are always like this, incredibly intense at first and then it dies out or they leave or he leaves, and they tend to be unstable while it was happening, especially with Amelia, it was incredibly unstable and toxic for both.

• 8/80 relationships, going from intense love to nothing or to hatred: It seems like most of them have this, a big start, and a terrible ending, either it going to nothing or strong resentment (Amelia's case) It also has a part of this not talked, that after this hatred passes, BPD people tend to come back, and, blame themselves which well, next symptom.

• Villain complex: Most BPD people experience this, seeing themselves as absolute horrible monsters, most of his songs make him the villain, he really highlights like hey i'm a horrible person, and this is very, very common. I think funnily enough, C!Wilbur is a perfect demonstration of this part of him, it's a self insert of the Villain he makes himself to be.

• Constant changes in personality: We have seen this, even as a streamer, in a place he was never truly himself, he's always changing completely who he is, even though it's a character. I also feel that the fact that he has so many characters that are all clearly self inserts is a way to express this self image issue he has, going on a limb here but you get it. He also seems to struggle with his appearance and self image and tends to become a sponge when with others.

• Impulsive behavior: So this is many factors, getting from the internet straight up “Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship” He does a bunch of those, he did have a problem with abusing alcohol, most of us believe he did that with coke as well, we know that he impulsively drops all his responsibilities and doesn't keep up his promises, that he's constantly moving, constantly dropping and then coming back to it, that he can be super excited for something and then suddenly not be anymore, he's always ruining his relationships even though some of them are good just because he found something more exciting. He has binge eaten too but I don't know if that is something he always does.

• Self harm/Suicidal tendencies: He shows few of these, some of his songs imply that he was in a mental state that this could happen, what we know is that he did punch a window, accidentally he says, but we don't know, I think his form of self harm is self sabotage.

• Paranoia: This is something that is not spoken much about BPD but I think even his hypochondria could be a symptom since BPD is very prone to paranoia, and his is based on his health, he thinks he's dying literally all the time, that he's sick and that he has something, this is pure paranoid behavior.

• Mood swings: We don't know if he has many, we do know he has Bipolar signs in this, expressing more stages of depression and mania, but he also has constant anxiety problems, which can all be part of this symptom in specific.

• Emptiness: Another one that is incredibly necessary, and we know this is his main affliction most times, he feels apathetic all the fucking time, it's his favorite word in music, he shows this idea that he's incapable of loving too that is part of this emptiness, he thinks he doesn't feel anything because there's nothing inside him type of thing.

• Anger: This is inconclusive, it is to believe that when he was younger he was a very angry person, we don't know if that's still there, but, we know it was a problem at some point.

[ineffectualdemon]

Can ı aşk a question? If you don't feel alright answering this, plase don't. Actually i found courage to aşk this question because of your last post. My birthday is on the horozun and i am freaked out. I really wanna now about whats happening to your brain in your 30s? What kind of change happening? Humans really strat to learn slower or learning something becoming something nearly impossible? Or if you can learn something how good you can be good at that thing? Staying avarage or you can really be good at that ? For example like drawing? Articles i found on the internernet really not saying much. I want to ask is someone who exprienced this. ( I have Aspergers Syndrome. A autism spectrum disorder. Sometimes i can t understand other people feelings? If you find it rude or make you upset please ignore the question and if you want block me)

I don't mind answering!

And really personally I don't find age as the defining factor in my ability to learn something

I didn't start my studies for my degree until my 30s and while sometimes have been harder than others the major factor has been my mental health.

Like the module I just finished was one I had deferred and was retrying. The first time I took it I felt so stupid. I would read and re-read a paragraph over and over and not understand it. It was awful. I was also in a bad state with my mental health. I deferred the course while I did the work on my mental health and when I came back to the course this year I was astonished at easy it was in comparison

The material hadn't changed but I was no longer struggling to understand it at all! The material made sense to me and I no longer felt stupid

As for skills like arts and language

My art, writing, fiber arts, and language learning has all improved a lot in my 30s

Now I am very much in a hobbyist or amateur catagory for all of that but that's because that's what I actively choose to be in. I could improve a lot more if I put the time and dedication into any of these. Like I could write a book with original characters that would be publishable

But man thats a lot of work I don't want to do. Fanfic is much more fun for me

Same with any of my other hobbies. If I wanted to improve to expert level I just have to put in the work. But I don't want to because I just wanna do it for fun

It's a bit easier to learn things when you are a kid in that kids brains are sponges. But that doesn't make learning impossible or becoming expert in a new skill out of your reach as an adult or in your thirties

The biggest factor in learning as an adult is the state of your health both mental and physical

Like I have limited mobility due to disabilities, I am never going to learn dance now but that's not cause of my age

And there are times when learning is harder for me because I am dealing with my mental health as I said before

But I never felt like my age was a factor in that

Hope that helps!

[allieswithbenefits]

yeah so

portia initially kind of frustrated me because she's so idk perky and bubbly i guess just like her intonation and everything and she comes across as maybe not having a lot of social awareness. my two biggest examples for that part are (1) when she tells quincy that beatrix is mad about that silly promotion and doesn't seem to realize that the promotion is a really fucking big deal to beatrix and (2) when beatrix wins the phaethon and everyone else has already realized that the prize was not worth the stuff they did to get it but she's like :D omg you won. yeah autism and also she didn't really experience a lot of the trauma that the nominees went through though ofc she has her own trauma.

i bring up the social awareness bit to get to the autism bit but the part that frustrated me was that she just comes across as really fake and like she's very much performing earnestness for everyone regardless of what would be the reactions i personally would expect and that i guess would match the other characters. and so i just assumed she sucked until pretty much the very end of the show (more on this later)

but i don't think that was really fair of me because portia is not stupid and i decided i think she realized probably at a very early age that there are certain things that are expected of her as a woman and she learned how to perform those things which of course she did because she's autistic. women are expected to be kind and feel emotions really strongly but only inoffensive and non-threatening emotions. and like sure some women are able to get away with not performing all those things but portia has several factors that pressure her into performing constantly especially at ardess:

she is a white-passing poc at a racist institution

she is queer and at least partly out

she has a lot of anxiety that would probably prevent her from picking and choosing which expectations she performs and which ones she defies like beatrix does even though she admires beatrix very much

speaking of beatrix i really think these two are way more similar than i ever gave them credit for because they both have super similar reasons for needing to conform and they conform by masking. beatrix's mask is doing what they need to do when the higher-ups are watching and being aloof which is a performance she ends up dropping around portia once they become closer. portia's mask is sweetening herself so she is easily swallowed by everyone around her and nobody questions her too much. and she's good at it. she has that mask on 24/7 until pretty much the very end of the show

and the mask she's wearing kind of shows up as being a little bit of a bootlicker (eg when roswell visits the prize section) and a lot of her character development happens offstage but you can tell by the end she has changed. and she keeps her personality which is still earnest but she makes different choices than portia at the beginning of the show would have made. perhaps she even becomes like beatrix ("interview protestors, grill the adminstration" etc)

if adamandi demonstrates anything it's that the masks you choose to wear or those that are forced upon you eventually become you. portia wore her mask so well that it changed her. but with everything that happened and i'm sure with beatrix's help she managed to switch it out for something more genuine. she is better now and i hope she is happier too

trying to develop a theory where portia's earnestness that has always kind of felt fake and frustrating to me is actually supposed to be fake bc she is performing acceptable womanhood (being sweet and inoffensively expressive)

[dirk-has-rabies]

Bro Strider (ongoing as i add more sources)

im gunna clear something up for the people on tiktok (and probably other places) who think that just cuz they read the wiki that means they know everything about a character and their underlying story and personality.

Bro strider has a background. 

a statement that shouldnt be considered bold or cancelable.

let me start of by saying that this is an explanation NOT an excuse for his actions. Bro strider is abusive yes, that is not the argument, but HE doesnt think he did wrong.

pg 48 book 3 “in round 1 of daves strife with bro, he warms up against his old puppet sparing buddy, lil cal. bro operates cal so fast you cant see him. it is suggested this is a pretty common battle routine for the strider brothers, an extreme training regime to prepare dave for battle. its almost like bros training him to face the last boss. or it would be if the last boss had the slightest thing to do with this creepy puppet,which of course is preposterous.”

bro knew dave was coming before he was even born which we know since he was waiting with a pair of tiny shades for the meteor carrying dave. 

he orders an extra copy of the game not for himself but for dave just to make sure he can get in the game because he KNOWS that the end is coming. 

the first thing he does besides joke around and train with dave is save his life by cutting the meteor in half and then upon entering the game he instantly goes to the biggest boss he can find to fight so dave will be safer. 

bro is influenced and corrupted by lil cal. cal from day one is a juju containing the soul of caliborn, gamzee, and arquiussprite. the cal that bro has is a future version of the cal that dirk goes to earth with and an even MORE future version of the cal in daves nightmares. cal is corrupt and corrupts and controls those around him. He can move when bro isnt alive or around because he can have YOU move him. he has bro, dave, and gamzee move him in canon, dave not even realizing hes doing it himself. not even bec nior can turn away from cals influence as he disposes all the “trophies” except him as cal needs to move along to “hatch” so he has bec keep him. doc scratch literally calls him “the most important character is homestuck” even caliborn calls the evil puppet for what it is by telling alphadirk to chuck him out as he is a “nightmare who curses all who live in the same universe as it” 

staring into cals eyes brings out insanity (as seen by both gamzee and jack doing this) this is why bro and dave wear shades. it protects them from the puppet which he is tasked to protect and serve by fate. 

even dave calls out the puppet for being a large factor in bros personality on page 7749 of homestuck

DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it DAVE: maybe... DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him?? DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in...

according to the skaianet documents: “He(jake) just set up an infant from the sky named Dirk(bro) down in Texas with a trust fund, setting him on a path to be of use to the company.” proving that bro grows up knowing about the game and is influenced by cal and HIC to get ppl to enter the game so she may take over. 

Bro cares about dave. Bro loves him truly, he just doesnt know how to do it correctly. a big part of his story resonates with people that were forced to help raise their siblings and ended up being the bad guy since the parent who should of been raising the kids never taught them how to do it correctly. bro was just a year or two over 20 when dave landed (hes 32/33 when dave is 13 according to hussie) he was not trained on how to raise a kid (not to mention all of dirk and bro is autism coded so most of his problems correlate with that) he was only trained to fight and to train others to fight. and so thats what he did. 

[deafaq]

Comprehensive guide to writing deaf characters

Despite not being intented as a blog resource for writers, we get a lot of questions regarding how to write deaf characters. (and by a lot, I mean like half of questions are about writing)

Since lot of these questions are similar anyway, I wrote up this guide for anyone intending to add deaf characters into their writing. From now on, we shall only answer questions related to writing which AREN’T covered in this guide.

Please, keep in mind that deaf people aren’t a hive mind and this guide is based on our personal experience. We recommend a sensitivity deaf reader if you plan to make any deaf character a big part of your story.

Rest of guide under the cut.

Medical basics

-          Deafness can be caused by many factors.

-          For people born deaf, common causes are: genetics, illnesses of mother during pregnancy (and meds taken), complicated birth, premature birth, etc.

-          For people who become deaf later in life: old age, noise damage, several infectious illnesses (for example meningitis), medication (cancer meds or certain antibiotics), tumours on auditory nerve and in brain, chronic inflammations of middle ear, etc.

-          Most people with hearing loss still have some degree of hearing

 Terminology

-          “deaf” – person with hearing loss

-          “hard of hearing” – person with hearing loss, still has some degree of hearing

-          “Deaf” – person with hearing loss who is proud of their deafness, is member of Deaf community and culture, communicates in sign language

-          “deafened” – person who lost their hearing in later life, often as adult

-          “deaf and dumb” – old terminology, now considered insulting

-          “hearing impaired” – medical term, often disliked by deaf people

 Compensation

-          Most hard of hearing and some deaf people wear hearing aids. Their function is similar to glasses, they enhances the remaining sense.

-          Hearing aids are often pricey, not covered by insurance and need batteries to recharge

-          They can be colourful, however most people use brown to make them less noticeable

-          They need to be taken off for sleeping and bathing

-          It’s considered rude to touch another’s person hearing aid. Hearing people should not try them out, as they can damage normal hearing.

-          Cochlear implant are more complicated, require surgery to insert. They compromise of two parts – inner part (under skull), which stimulates hair cells in cochlea, and outer part (outside on the head and ear), which is sound processor, microphone and battery. Both parts are connected via magnet.

-          Hearing via CI is more electrical than normal hearing and doesn’t sound same. After the operation, users must train their hearing and attend many sessions where CI is adjusted. It can take years for users to hear speech or use telephone. Success is very individual.

-          CIs are often disliked and criticized by Deaf community as they are seen as a threat to Deaf culture and language. There is also a question of consent – for CI to be successful, children must be implanted at young age (1-7 years) and the decision is usually made by their hearing parents.

-          Other compensation: Vibration and light alarms, alarm clocks, baby monitors, door bells. Special phones and headphones. Etc.

 Communication

 -          Children who are born deaf cannot naturally acquire spoken language. (aka from their parents/family) It cannot be learned by lip-reading. They learn it as a second language, often at school.

-          Despite the stereotype of deaf people being also mute, most deaf people can speak. However, they often have so called “deaf accents”, because they cannot hear themselves speak. Because of that, some deaf people prefer not to talk, to not be mocked for their accent.

-          Natural language of deaf people are sign languages. They are not universal, they have their own grammar and rules, they are not simple pantomime and they are not easy to learn. (see Sign Languages)

-          Not all deaf people use sign languages, especially those who become deafened later in life.

-          There are specific communication system, which combine spoken languages and sign languages, often used in education. They usually use signs from sign languages and spoken language grammar. The most common is Pidgin Signed English (PSE) or Signing Exact English (SEE). Some deaf people use them instead of sign language, since they grew up with it.

-          SimCom is simultaneous communication, speaking and using sign language at the same time. As its basically using two languages at one time, it’s difficult and one language often starts following grammatical structure of other.

-          Lip-reading is taxing, difficult and often based on talent. It must be taught. To properly lip-read, there must be good light conditions and you must be able to see the face of speaker.

-          Some deaf people use writing to communicate with hearing people – either with paper and pen, or on phone. This way of communication is often time-consuming.

-          Deaf people often use interpreters to help them communicate. They usually accompany the deaf person to doctors, authorities, important meetings, etc.

 Sign language

-          Sign languages are natural languages and not created by one person. They appeared organically over time.

-          Every country has their own national sign language. The ones most known and researched are ASL (American Sign Language), LFS (French Sign Language), BSL (British Sign Language), AUSLan (Australian Sign Language). There is about 137+ sign languages in the world.

-          Grammar in sign languages is based on 3D spaces and use of face expressions and movement of body. Signs are composed of hands in specific shapes, their movement and placement on the body.

-          Most sign language have their own finger alphabet. Most common are one-handed (ASL, LFS) and two-handed (BSL, AUSlan).

-          Sign languages are not inferior to spoken languages and can express the same things.

-          It takes time and dedication to learn any sign language. Usually at least 3 years for being able to communicate properly and more than 5 to be fluent.

-          You can sign with just one hand (that’s how deaf people communicate while eating or holding something, for example)

 Education

-          Until 1970s, the most common way of teaching deaf children was oralism, a teaching tradition which supressed and forbid the use of sign language and insisted on deaf children learning to speak. It is still often used, despite the fact that many studies prove it fails to properly educate deaf people.

-          Modern research has proven that use of sign language in education is beneficial for deaf children and helps them to better understand the material.

-          Deaf children can either study at school for deaf or be integrated into regular school. Deaf schools used to be very common in past, as they were only available means of education for most deaf people. Kids lived in dormitories. Whether sign language was/is used there depends on the school. Some even had/have deaf teachers.

-          Nowadays, most kids study in regular school along with hearing kids. If the school is good, they offer proper compensation – eg. interpreter in class, note taking services, hearing devices, etc. Some schools still sucks, however.

-          Integrated kids can suffer from isolation, bullying and discrimination from teachers.

-          There are colleges in USA which focus on deaf students and sign language. The most famous is Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C.

 Family

-          90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. Hearing parents often struggle with the disability of their child. In general, lot of hearing parents prefer to give their kids CI, to make them more “hearing”.

-          Deaf parents generally have hearing kids. Those kids are then called CODA – children of deaf adults. CODA often speak sign language well. In general, they are either very involved with Deaf community or not all and avoid it all costs. Lot of CODA children become interpreters.

-          Every family is different in how they communicate. Some use sign language. Some only spoken language, requiring the deaf member to lip-read. Some use combination of two or create their own home signs. If only certain members of family learn to sign, it’s usually mother or some other female family member (sister, grandmother).

  Deaf culture/community

-          A community of Deaf individuals who use sign language as their primary means of communication, are proud of their deafness and their culture. They do not see their deafness as disability/disease, but something that connects them, makes them different from others.

-          Deaf people often meet up in clubs, there is big emphasis on community, meeting together, communal experience, etc.

-          Term “Deaf gain” is used – what deafness gives us, instead of the usual what deafness takes away from us. What is important is “seeing”, not “absence of hearing”.

-          Deaf culture has its own set of social rules/etiquette.  Deaf people are generally more blunt and to the point than hearing people. There are special rules for getting attention – eg tapping on shoulder, turning lights on and off.

-          There is a big tradition in storytelling and poetry in sign language, especially ASL. Other visual art – videos, paintings and sculpture are also popular.

-          Deaf community has lot of members who are LGBT+ and has its own deaf organizations for said people. Generally, deaf community is more accepting when it comes to LGBT+ issues then general public, although exceptions exists.

-          Not every country has a strong Deaf community – the biggest one is in USA. In some countries, deaf people are isolated.

 Discrimination

-          Specific term for discrimination against deaf people is “audism” (not to confuse with autism). General term for discrimination against disabled people, “ableism”, is also used sometimes.

-          Deaf people often face discrimination especially when it comes to access to information and unwillingness to offer proper accommodation to them.

-          Movies/Tv shows/videos lack subtitles or closed captioning. Video games have no alternative way of showing audio cues. Lectures, festivals and public events are often without interpreters.

-          There have been numerous cases of arrests and deaths of deaf people after encounters with police due to communication.

-          Hospitals and doctors are often without interpreters and neglect to inform the deaf patients properly. Access to authorities and courts is also problematic.

-          Deaf people have difficult time finding employment due to prejudice. Even if they do find a job, employers often refuse to offer proper accommodation.

-          Many deaf people also struggle in education – see above.

 Common mistakes and stereotypes when writing deaf characters

-          Lip-reading as a superpower, which makes deaf person basically hearing anyway

-          Wearing Hearing aids at night and/or other people touching them and taking them off.

-          Cochlear Implants presented as “cure” or “miracle” which makes a deaf person into hearing person

-          Being able to learn sign language in record time (aka in several days)

-          “Happy” ending being deaf person losing their deafness via cure/miracle/magic

-          Deaf people being bitter and lonely (yes, there are deaf people who are bitter and lonely, but it’s not our defining trait and it’s not *that* common)

-          Using deafness as a “cute” trope to increase angst levels in your story because being deaf sucks, right? ( -_________-)

-          Deaf person only having hearing friends (it’s often the opposite, aka most friends of Deaf people are also Deaf). Same goes for dating.

-          Superpowers or magic that basically cancels out deafness

-          Creating your own Name signs for your characters (pls really don’t)

-          Sign language = English with signs

-          Framing the narrative as a “person overcoming their disability”

-          Including deafness as a punishment for the character

-          The only deaf character in the story is the villain (“bonus” points for ‘deafness turned them evil’)

-          Inspiration porn – see the link

 Also, keep in mind that:

-          Deafness isn’t a disease and isn’t actually contagious (can’t believe I have to say this)

-          We very rarely date people who don’t bother to learn how to communicate with us.

-          Deaf people can and do drive. We also travel. Use internet. Swim. Read.

-          “Shockingly”, we can tell apart yawning and screaming.

-          People who were born deaf think in sign language and asking about it really doesn’t make you a philosopher

[aegialia]

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

[residentofthedisc]

Very, Very Personal (and a Little Projecting) Headcanon

Ray Doyle from The Professionals is neurodivergent. 

Specifically, I’m gonna argue that the closest condition would probably be undiagnosed ADHD. 

(Also Bodie could be also ND because there’s an entire episode surrounding Bodie’s apparent PTSD which is never brought up again because of course) 

OK. Hear me out. 

- Depression.

Doyle exhibits depressive traits within the canon of the show. The Rack is probably the clearest example: he loses interest in his hobbies (i.e. not working out, his bikes, etc.), exhibits extreme guilt and self-deprecating (self-destructive) behaviours, and pulls away from support networks. In Discovered in a Graveyard, his tendencies to overthink and blame himself are well enough known by his coworkers that they question whether he’s going to fight for his own survival (and there’s an interesting little off-hand comment that Doyle ‘forgot’ to set his locks, so possibly more self-destructive behaviour) and worry about it. So, essentially, him being ND isn’t necessarily a huge stretch of logic? I mean, he could have bouts of depression and depression is a common comorbidity for people with ADHD. 

- Mood swings and extreme emotions. 

Doyle seems to fluctuate wildly between some fairly extreme moods. He’s described within the fandom itself as being mercurial. He flips a switch from utter joy to quick rage to broody self-reflection in minutes.  Now, this could indicate bipolar disorder or ADHD but as his moods have clearly defined triggers, I’d lean towards ADHD. 

- Intense emotions and moral codes. 

Doyle is described as being hot-headed and passionate and sensitive. He wears his heart on his sleeve and has a remarkably strict moral code for the job that he does. He has a real sense of right and wrong as well as an intensity of feelings to match. On it’s own, this doesn’t really mean he’s ND, but along with the other traits, it could be autism or - again - ADHD. 

- Impulsivity and reckless behaviour. 

Doyle is reckless. End of. OK, nope, let’s elaborate. 

Doyle is constantly putting himself in danger by running straight into situations without thinking. He forgets to call in if he’s found something, he speaks without thinking, and elements of his backstory could be indicative of this being a life-long trait. His ‘I cut up another kid when I was just a kid myself’ story and stories about causing trouble don’t mean that kids with ADHD are naturally violent, but that constant impulsivity and (due to other ADHD factors) difficulty in structured environments can land them in hot water. I can’t imagine a 1950s-ish school in Derby or probably Birmingham the unspecified city he grew up in would have the resources or understanding of his condition and that may have pushed him into crime and juvenile mishaps. He does point out that he joined the police to put him on the straight and narrow - perhaps showing that he needs external structure to be imposed on him to feel he’s functioning properly. 

- Hyperactivity/attention span. 

So, I’m not sure if Doyle could be considered hyperactive in the traditional sense. He is not jumping around all the time or constantly moving exactly, but I think there’s still an argument here. Whenever Doyle is waiting for something, he seems to be constantly fiddling with things; brain puzzles, reading, his own clothes, etc. All of these could be an ‘acceptable’ form of stimming he’s developed, but he does seem to have more energy than Bodie, but Bodie could just be messing him about. Similarly, the moments he’s focusing, he can be focusing intensely enough that Bodie has to repeat - possible hyperfocus? This section is probably the biggest reach. 

- Random traits because my own ADHD has completely bored me out of continuing nicely. 

* Sensory Processing Issues: very uncomfortable in suits and ties, has very specific styles and clothing materials he appears to like. Wears sunglasses a lot so possible photosensitivity (but also is likely just wanting to look cool). 

* Special interests: He seems to get quite obsessed with certain things, particularly cases and keeps picking at them even when they seem solved. (I think) Bodie occasionally mentions him ‘still going on’ about things, unrelated to the story. 

* Social difficulties: Doyle is not smooth, especially with romance. Honestly, he actually gets turned down by women more than I expected with characters like this. 

* Masking: Doyle is canonically good at undercover. Not unbelievable with being in the police, but what if he learnt this first masking his neurodiversity? 

* His long term memory is excellent. 

OK, so, long post and I am absolutely projecting because it would be really nice for my teenage hero to be both queer and neurodivergent like me, but I do think that it wouldn’t take a lot of twisting for Doyle to be diagnosed with ADHD. 

[ravenhilarious]

sometimes I fear that Logan is becoming the Hermione of this fandom

elaboration under the cut. this will discuss the Harry Potter fandom, the sanders sides fandom, and some comparisons of my personal issues within them. there are some mentions of violence, abuse, bigotry, and death, and it is very long.

that’s what they said

disclaimer: I love Harry Potter even if jk is a bigot, I love Hermione, I love sanders sides which fortunately is not created by a bigot, I love Logan, so there’s no intended negativity about any of these

now, back to the point. I repeat: I fear that Logan is becoming the Hermione of this fandom

which should be a good thing, because I love Logan and I love Hermione. being “the Hermione” shouldn’t be seen as something negative, but the reason I'm referring to it as that is:

there was a time where Fanon Hermione basically became, for a lack of a better term, a Mary Sue (I know this term can have problematic and misogynistic elements but I couldn’t find a better way to describe it)

lots of it was based on the movie adaption’s version of her. lots of her flaws were either stripped away or justified – she became more fearless and confident, her condescending attitude towards mainly Harry and (especially) Ron was exaggerated, and, again, seemed more justified here. and of course, it didn’t help that she was played by the gorgeous Emma Watson. 

then came the fandom portrayal of her. while her movie counterpart was definitely more “perfectilized” (is that a word? now it is) than her book counterpart, she still had elements of being a teenager, and, well, a human. but on the internet, there were so many claims of her being the sole reason that Harry was alive, and that she was way out of Ron’s league, and lots of other stuff. if you’re in any way familiar with the Harry Potter fandom around... well, anywhere before like 2016, really, you probably know what I'm talking about. she was basically this “perfect does everything right keeps saying everyone the best at everything” kind of character. that was kinda annoying, both to people who didn’t care that much for Hermione as a character in the first place, and for the people who enjoyed her (more flawed and realistic) book counterpart

and don’t even get me started on the dr4m10ne shippers who claimed that “she deserves better than Ron (or Harry, or Neville, [heteronormativity was still a big thing back then] or really anyone who treated her with respect) and dr4c0 would be so much better for her!” 

and oof, the “Hermione joins the dark side” au’s where her actions were still justified by the narratives (why would a muggleborn join the people that discriminate against her lol)

during the last few years, she’s gotten some backlash because of this. more potter heads started realizing her flaws, or stopped justifying them. the shocking realization that the fan favorite was not perfect made a large part of the fandom go in the opposite direction. which I understand.

now, I am still able to enjoy the (canon) character Hermione Granger, despite the sue-ification she went through (maybe it’s the autism that helps me not to get so affected by public opinion, idk), but not everyone is that lucky. so many potter heads had gotten a very good character ruined for them, which is sad.

I don’t want the same thing to happen to Logan Sanders. 

Now, he wasn’t always one of the faves – in an early episode, he literally gets told that he’s the least popular character in the series (which does get played off as a joke, but I assume – I wasn’t in the fandom back then, so please correct me if I'm wrong – that for many fanders back then, that was very much the case) and I wouldn’t say he’s a “fan favorite” the same way that Hermione used to be. 

however, he has by now gained quite a large fanbase here on Tumblr. which is great! I, myself, really enjoy Logan, and most of his fans are really cool.

but there are some stans who, in my opinion, have started to give him The Hermione Treatment. who claim that he is the one constantly helping Thomas. who feel the need to bash some of the other sides in order to prove that Logan is the best. the main complaint being that “they ignore/silence him too much”. and yes, they definitely don’t listen to him nearly as much as they could and should. I agree with that.

what I don’t agree with is when fanders start wishing for him to “snap” at the others. I'm putting “snap” in quotation marks, because what they usually mean is just him straight up verbally abusing them, sometimes being physically violent toward them. all because they... didn’t pay enough attention to him? 

it gives me the same vibes as when Hermione’s acts of violence (I'm talking about, like, the bird attack toward Ron or the acne scars she forced on Marietta Edgecombe [another thing that got removed in the movie adaption], not the “fighting death eaters” parts) were considered “girl power” or something by the internet. 

now, I'm not saying that Logan in canon is super aggressive and violent, but he definitely has his moments – and that’s fine. a character does not have to be nice 24/7. but the fandom seems to, idk, romanticize (for lack of a better word) these moments, his outbursts of anger and violence, both the canon and Fanon ones. 

furthermore, there seems to be a double standard, in that lots of the things he’s praised for or that gets ignored about him, are the exact same things that would (or do) get criticized when other sides do it.

Patton gets flack for being controlling and guilt-tripping the others, which, yes, that is true, but Logan can also be controlling (Growing Up, Why Do We Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, arguably in Moving On too) and guilt-tripping (”not that any of you care, but I am unharmed” in Putting Others First)

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that fanders have started seeing the less perfect aspects of morality. Even cinnamon rolls can do not so nice things at times.

Roman is considered to be too proud and condescending, and yeah, he is, he is literally Thomas’ ego. But Logan? “I know I'm smarter than everyone else”? nuff said.

Virgil gets criticized for being too aggressive, and boy is that true, but again, you can not bash one character for a trait that you praise (or even wish more of) in another character.

now, I know that there are fanders who also give Virgil a free pass for violence etc. (he was the ultimate Fan Favorite for a very long time), but they seem to be fewer today than they used to be – which is great! it’s just sad that instead of disappearing completely, this character treatment has now moved towards Logan.

(funnily enough, these certain Logan Stans tend to be less critical of Janus’ and Remus’ flaws too, which I will cover later on)

no, I do not want Logan to be flawless, just like I don’t want Hermione to be. I just wish this double standard wasn’t so common in the fandom.

unlike with Hermione, however, the narrative (and the writers) doesn’t seem to favor him over the others – the sides get a relatively equal treatment in that way. but the biggest problem with Hermione was not the writing, or even the movie adaption (though that definitely played a factor too), but rather the fandom. the fandom was the one who claimed Hermione to be some perfect goddess, talented in every way, too good for this world, etc. And I really don’t want this to happen with Logan!

another parallel I'll bring up is the “going dark” thing, more specifically, “going dark because the light is not good enough for me”. I mentioned dr4m10ne earlier, and Hermione joining the death eaters because Harry and Ron and the rest of the “good guys” weren’t good enough. not smart or talented enough. didn’t appreciate her enough. because Ron would at times make fun of her nerdiness, because they sometimes bickered. 

but for some reason, these dr4m10ne shippers and dark!Hermione Stans would gloss over the fact that Dr4c0 made fun of her heritage and that the death eaters literally fought for genocide of people like her (which, imo, is a bit more serious than “haha ur a nerd”)

similarly, it’s become common to head canon Logan “becoming a dark side”. now, I am in no way trying to imply that “the dark sides” are in any way similar to death eaters, or that Janus and Remus are anything like Dr4c0.

but there seems to be, yet again, a double standard. Patton, Roman, and Virgil ignore or silence or under appreciate Logan? oh yes, they definitely do. 

but so do Janus and Remus. I see so many au’s of Logan joining the “dark sides” because they are more likely to listen to and appreciate him, which, if we go by canon... is not true? Janus literally excluded Logan from the courtroom, and Remus has repeatedly threatened and physically harmed Logan because he didn’t like what he was saying. but people gloss over that because ????? 

I don’t really have a conclusion or anything, I just wanted to get this out

[andhereisthetea]

Just finished Season 3

I have been watching She-Ra for the past seven days non-spot and I just finished season 3 and...

god

dammit

I am just....

UGH.

I want to talk about a lot of things after this, but I know I can’t just sandwich them in this post. I watched all three seasons in less time than I should have, I feel so damn conflicted right now about certain things, even if I spoiled myself about it before.

I spoiled myself about the whole Entrapta and Hordak arc, I watched gifsets and I saw your beautiful fan arts both in tumblr and twitter, but watching it, like... really watching it, it’s a whole different thing and now I feel both sad but also relieved I’m watching this after the show ended because 1) I am sad I didn’t experience things at the same time the fandom and most Entrapdak shippers did BUT 2) this would have made a mess of me, I get affected very easily with things like what I watched.

Ok, I have some things to say about the three seasons:

First... Entrapta.

There are some things I find refreshing and others that I don’t, I am not going to point it out in this post, also I can’t expect a lot from a family show.

The thing is... I feel they should have made up a backstory for Entrapta.

I understand the lore and the plot Crew-Ra focused into, but also I knew the Lore before the creation of this show, I feel there should have been a better way to explore more characters from Masters of the Universe.

Think about the complete mystery she is.

We knows most of the characters’ backstories, at least the most complex and important ones, we knows for example that Mermisa got her ruined kingdom from her father who was killed in the first battle against the Horde. We knows basically all the story of Bow’s family, we knows about Glimmer, about Scorpia, about Perfuma’s kingdom, about even Adora, Catra who was an orphaned, and also about Shadow Weaver.

But Entrapta? she is a complete damn mystery.

She is the Princess of Dryl, she designed the Crypto Castle, a literal labyrinth without sense, she is obsessed with First One’s tech since who knows how long, she isn’t an elemental princess but she can move her hair as if it were extra limbs and evn fight with it as a weapon, something that no other specie in the whole planet of Etheria can do, she has an intelligence even bigger than Tony Stark, nobody even talks about what happened to her parents, NOBODY, like they didn’t even existed and she popped up from nowhere and created her robotic parents herself. And even if her seeking for data and more and more progress and tech can be seen as a clear symptom her Autism (like autistic people focusing so much in something they can’t do anything else, I have that) or the fact she is looking for something else but not even her know what the hell is...

She knows or is implicit that she knows about the language of the First Ones, she understand their technology better than anyone else, also, her kingdom is the most advanced, they are considered to be in the industrial era compared to other kingdoms controlled by the elemental princesses. Where did all that technology knowledge, and also First One’s knowledge, came from? I don't think that in 20 years since she had reason and enough skill to be able to learn by herself Dryl has built all that; Dryl's kingdom had been working that way since before she was even born, so who told her? who taught her?

In addition to the fact that she has access to mining in her kingdom where she has been able to find who knows how much of the first one’s technology... right under her feet. The sole fact they put someone so important for the plot as a princess who has no runestone is just mysterious, she used the Black Garnet even better than Shadow Weaver, I can completely see her or someone before her doing the same with her own Runestone (which I picture as an Amethist btw).

I think they chose to put Entrapta’s possibilities of a backstory aside because, after seeing how the character became increasingly important and popular, they realized that once they had started to create her backstory and origins, they wouldn’t have been able to stop, and the central plot wasn’t about her at all, and is very likely that whatever idea of backstory they had about her would have been focused in the central plot. 

For example (and call me crazy, I don't care) if they had said that she was the granddaughter or daughter of Keldor AKA Skeletor, I would have totally believed it.

The thing with that is... even though they chose for her an Etheria region, which in the original Lore was unimportant, everything to do with Entrapta in She-Ra becomes important immediately, but ultimately it would have distracted them from the central plot with Adora as She-Ra, and Horde Prime, who is the main villain they choose for the show.

For now I just want to imagine what could have been if she had more protagonism and wasn’t only the geek princess, she has so much potential and I haven’t seen a character so refreshing like her in long time.

Okay, I want to talk about the seasons I just watched while the information is still fresh inside my head.

One of the main things that frustrated me about the final season is how Crew-Ra COMPLETELY NAILED IT in making me hate Catra. They didn’t make her sympathetic, she is toxic and most of the time she remembered me people who I had to avoid in my personal life, so the natural reaction to all her actions is to dislike her, that is exactly what Crew-Ra wanted for us to feel.

But in some point it got to the point that if you tell me the character was unpredictable, it lost it a bit in the final episodes, she started to become predictable in her actions because as an impulsive person constantly in denial over her emotions and projecting her problems over everyone else, it was obvious she was going to go through a destructive path wanting for everyone to die together with herself because it wouldn’t have seen less like a suicide.

And as a self-centered character with tunnel vision over her purpose and actions, she was going to completely underestimate Entrapta and wasn’t going to understand why Hordak found her interesting, she would attribute everything to power and fight for positions just like SW taught her, instead of something as pure as friendship, in fact she might have know it, but she didn’t want to admit it, because to know that someone as hateful and intimidating as Lord Hordak suddenly has someone who loves him beyond that is just too much for her, who doesn’t understand and is hurt by the fact that Adora doesn’t love her back, but doesn’t want to change one bit for fear to lost the life that ironically she hates so much without Adora in it.

So of course she was gonna electrocute Entrapta and send her to Beast Island, and her impulsive decision was made out of pure fear over what she did not only to Entrapta, but to Hordak himself and what he might do to her when he finds out what she did, and no matter how much she wants to hide behind a curtain of falsehood, is a matter of time he realizes Entrapta is nowhere in Etheria to be seen.

She is a character who does not measure her actions until the consequences are so horrible that she runs away, because reality is too painful for her to even accept what she has done, also she usually thinks that EVERYONE thinks just like her, every one of her speeches about fake friendship, power and winning is just about how she sees the world work from her perspective, she has zero notions over someone’s else vision of the world.

That's one of the biggest reasons why I liked Adora in the last episode of the third season; Catra made a decision, her desire to win basically led her to condemn Entrapta to death, almost destroy the planet and ultimately kill Angella or worse. I have seen posts about people saying that Catra hasn’t killed anyone directly, but I am sorry, she did this season, and she lied about it to everyone and to herself, but Adora knows better.

Now, Hordak

God how I start with this.

Hordak, opposite to the original Lore of Masters of the Universe, is right now basically an alien version of Lucifer from John Milton’s Paradise Lost but with God being fucking evil.

Just like Lucifer, he wants to replicate his creator’s creation on Etheria, choosing to rule in hell rather than heaven, but unlike Lucifer, he stills has a connection with his creator and just like Catra, wants to satify his wished to conquer Etheria all by himself.

But unlike Horde Prime, he is in fact a good leader, and a logical one. He appreciates when his soldiers thinks by themselves and achieves their goals, unlike Prime, and he in fact doesn’t accept empty adulation, if you are good at something, you have to prove it, not to him, but to yourself.

So I just love how with every season they are adding more complexity to his whole being, and now they have added the emotional factor with Entrapta’s friendship and ultimately “betrayal”, I want to watch how this at first glance stoic character loses the shit out of his stoicism, even if I already knows what is going to happen. The fact he already got affected by Catra’s lies over Entrapta betraying him proves how far he has gone since Entrapta came to his life, if he was just impressed by Entrapta or wanted to use her, that wouldn’t have affected him that much, he already feels something for her, but he struggles to know what it is, and even if he denies it due to what just happened, he is still feeling it.

Which makes the anticipation to the discovery of Catra’s lies so much more painful. 

Also, the fact he believed Catra, just like that, made me feel disappointed, but that is based on the complexity of the character and his self-loathing, he feels he doesn’t deserves friendship nor love; he is a defective clone after all, in his own mind he is imperfect and she is the complete opposite of that, so believing it is easy, but that doesn’t make it less painful, and that is what I am sure Hordak will realize ultimately.

I don’t know how long will took me to watch the season 4, but I know is worth the effort if I want to see Entrapta and Hordak together again, I love them, they are pure brain and incredible refreshing to watch, and the affection they feel for each other is obvious, one of the most bittersweet scenes for me was when Entrapta remembered Hordak due to the trio saying his name, her suddenly quiet behavior and calmed and painful smiled was so unlikely of her that one has to admit something more is going on, also her choice of language, “I had a lab partner”, not “I have”, gives a sense of sadness to the whole scene that broke my damn heart.

I will tag you guys @cruelfeline @ineffablelabpartners @etherian-affairs because I want to know your opinions about this, I never thought Entrapdak was gonna affect me that way, in fact I never expected to ship them at all, but here we are, dying for them and I just can’t escape.

[jennathearcher]

Elsa or Anna? :P

GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS IN MY INBOX

“vs.” for who I think would win a fight

“or” for who I like better

“+” for how I ship them (platonic, familial, romantic, not at all)

FRANKIE HOW COULD YOU. BETRAYED BY MY TWO BEST FRIENDS IN ONE DAY.

Oh my God this is SO DIFFICULT. I love both of the Arendelle sisters so much because I relate to them both very strongly just in VERY different ways??? I have an older sister AND a younger sister so I can relate to both sides of the sisterly bond. 

On the one hand, I can relate to Anna’s hopeless romantic heart and some of the mistakes she makes because she’s naive and doesn’t know any better and thus learns things the hard way, as well as her deep loneliness. In addition, I was once in a short-lived Disney RP group on here in which I wrote as a modern day version of Anna so she has a special place in my heart in that way.

On the other hand, I adore Elsa SO MUCH, because I feel like her journey in the film is incredibly symbolic of the struggle with mental illness; in my experience, struggling with autism and anxiety. In addition, I LOVE Idina Menzel, she’s one of my biggest role models in life and quite possibly my biggest inspiration in regards to my career path and who I tried to emulate as a singer when I was still undergoing vocal training. As a result, Elsa is much more comfortable for my vocal range than Anna, whose register is a little higher. 

I also dressed as Elsa for Halloween one year which was a lot of fun! Though I am planning to cosplay Anna’s new outfit from the second movie because I’m IN LOVE WITH IT.

I connect so much with both sisters that the deciding factor for me in terms of which one I prefer is probably going to be which one of them I would want to portray more if I were given the chance to be cast in the stage version of Frozen, which is absolutely Elsa, without a doubt, not only because she’s in my vocal range but also because I feel she would be more fun to play because of how deeply her emotions run throughout the entire story.

Seriously though, thank you so much for asking, Frankie <3

[random-thought-depository]

Tangential to my last post, I rewatched both John Carpenter’s 1982 The Thing and the 2011 prequel, here are some thoughts about the prequel and its relationship to the 1982 movie:

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The prequel kind of grew on me on second watching. Originally I didn’t like it very much, but watching it again, it’s actually a fairly good movie! I think it captures the atmosphere and themes of the 1982 movie fairly well while also doing some interesting new things with them.

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Both films feel like they depict events that happen around the time they were made. The 1982 movie was made in 1982 and feels like it depicts events that happened in 1982. The 2011 movie was made in 2011 and feels like it depicts events that happened around 2011. I think this is the biggest problem with the prequel: it feels like it happened after the 1982 movie instead of before it; it doesn’t feel like what “really happened” in the Norwegian camp; I think it would have worked better as a sequel (with appropriate modifications to the script and premise). I think that feeling is partly a product of some of the film techniques used; I think I can tell where computer effects were used in the prequel to achieve things that were done with other techniques in the original, and it gives the prequel a cleaner and more modern feeling. The prequel also has a darker aesthetic, I mean physically darker, it uses dark spaces more than the original, and I think maybe that also contributes to that feeling.

------

I think the prequel should have had fewer or no American characters. The inability to communicate across a language barrier was a big deal in the 1982 movie! We should not have been asked to believe that the situation at the beginning of the 1982 movie was the result of the one guy in the whole camp who couldn’t speak English being the last survivor! That feels contrived and inelegant!

I get that a movie in Norwegian with subtitles would have been a hard sell, but... I remember reading about a German movie about Turkish immigrants in Germany where they made the Turkish dialog German and when someone spoke German to one of the characters it was rendered as gibberish. Maybe do something like that? Have the dialog in English, and then the last scene of the prequel is the first scene of the 1982 movie reshot with the Norwegians speaking English and the Americans speaking gibberish? I feel that with a little creativity they should have been able to come up with something better than “the last survivor just happened to be the one guy in the whole camp who couldn’t speak English!”

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Also, this may be a controversial opinion, but... The 1982 The Thing had an all-male cast, and I think it’s an example of a story where that was an artistically interesting choice. I feel that the conspicuous absence of the gender stereotypically associated with fertility and nurturing played into and enhanced the bleak aesthetic that gave the 1982 film so much of its atmosphere. Also, I think men tend to be warier of each other, at least in certain ways, and that made an all-male cast play nicely into the theme of lack of trust and people turning on each other. I think that, because of this, the presence of female characters in the prequel really structurally called attention to the fact that the prequel was the product of a different time with different sensibilities. I think that contributed to the feeling that the prequel happened after the 1982 film instead of before it. I’m not saying the prequel should necessarily have had an all-male cast, I’m just saying I think this was a factor.

There was a bit where I thought the prequel might have touched on the gender thing in an interesting way. When the Juliette-Thing attacked Kate, I got the impression that the Thing might have been knowingly or unknowingly exploiting the “sisterhood” meme as part of its predation tactics. It reminded me of some things I’ve read about how the idea that women are safe makes women vulnerable to abusive women and sexually predatory women - given that, I feel it was appropriate that the attack looked kind of sexualized.

------

The Thing had a different physicality in the 1982 movie and the prequel. In the 1982 movie there was more emphasis on wetness and grossness; it was this mass of wet red meat and I couldn’t even really see how all the limbs and parts fit together and a lot of the parts seemed to be kind of useless; it reminded me of Soft Construction With Boiled Beans. In the prequel the Things seemed cleaner and more functional, more mobile, there was mostly a clear purpose and logic to the limbs, I had a sense of how ribs broke and fused into an arm or pierced through the skin to become teeth. The transformations looked painful in both cases, but in different ways. The process of imitation seemed more orderly and like a kind of pregnancy in the prequel; when Blair cut the dog-thing open the inside was a chaotic mass of half-formed imitation, the abortive Henrik-thing was in a womb-like organ and looked like a kind of fetus. Also, the Thing seemed more sexualized/rapey in the prequel; I mean, look at this!

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I think the prequel would have been greatly improved by keeping their discarded ideas about the inside of the alien spacecraft. The inside of the alien spacecraft was a tantalizing mystery in the 1982 movie, it would have been nice to have something really interesting in it, and the “Norwegian camp in space” ideas were quite interesting and poignant!

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Adam and Sander ping my autism-dar. Nobody in the 1982 movie really does ... maybe Palmer, a little?

[salamencerobot]

im not bilingual, but i’ve taken multiple years of spanish as a native english speaker. and let me tell you, it’s wierd. some people just pick up speaking it easier than others. i cannot speak it for the life of me. my accent is fine afaik (helps that i naturally mimic) but... well, sound comprehension is difficult. and here’s my biggest thing.

if your character has mental disabilities, like adhd or autism, FACTOR THOSE IN. auditory processing issues come with both and that can lead to someone who can read their second or third language pretty well but speaking/listening to it, everything goes out the window. aka me. i cant speak spanish but i used to be able to get the gist of reading it pretty well.

Writing Advice Bilingual Characters

As some of you (who read my reviews) already might have noticed, I am bilingual myself. Sadly, multilingual people do not get represented well a lot in media, so yeah… some advice for writing them. It will certainly not capture every aspect of being bilingual, but it might give you a first idea.

There are different ways to be multilingual.

People who grew up with more than one native language will almost certainly speak all of them fluently. Most of them have two (their parents’ language and their country’s language, or the language of one parent and of the other) but I also know a family where the children grew up with four native languages (the mother speaks Portuguese, the father Italian, they talk to each other in English, and live in Germany, where the children grew up)

Some people speak two or more languages, but cannot write all of them - especially when the alphabets are not the same, for example English and Russian or Arabic. This affects mostly children of immigrants.

Some people can read and write a language quite well, but are not good at speaking or listening comprehension. Those people often learned the language at school with a bad teacher or by themselves with books and apps.

Some people, again mostly children and grandchildren of immigrants, can read and understand a language, but don’t speak it. Mostly, the parents decided to not teach the child the language, and they learned it themselves by listening to their parents talk to relatives.

Confidence can play a big role in this. I understand the dialect of my grandparents without a problem, but I would never try to speak it. I can’t even imagine forming those words with my mouth, and it would sound terrible.

People who learnt a language at school can reach completely different levels of that language. I started learning English at age 6 and am completely fluent by now. Other people in my class barely understand more than easy conversations in English.

Most people will do their very best to hide their accents.

If the person is not a native speaker, but fluent in a language, their accent will be a mix of whatever they can find at the moment. Media is a big influence in that.

Since I watch more British than American TV, my accent sounds a bit british, too. When I watched “Call the Midwife”, I often even unconciously copy the accent of Laura Main. I don’t know why her, but my brain just liked it, I guess.

Also, we will use words, phrases and sentence structures from so many different sources.

People who learnt English through the internet (aka most of the younger generation) will have problems to not use swear words when actually being in Great Britain or America. They just do not have the weight for us, since on the internet they get used all the time.

I have never in my whole live heard a multilingual person switch languages mid-sentence on accident.

We will do it on purpose, though, if the other part of the conversation understands both languages.

Also, we will maybe say the word in another language if we forget the meaning.

Multilingual people that are not natives in the language they usually use in their day-to-day life (immigrants, for example) will often count and calculate in their native language. For example at a restaurant where they calculate the price in their head, they will probably do it in their native language.

Conversations with multiple multilingual people can be very different.

If one person only understands one language, they will probably try to include that person by speaking the language they share. I can say from experience, though, that if eight native Germans that have varying levels of English language skills will sit together with one introverted Turkish person with medium English language skills, they will go back to German quite often. It’s not nice, but sadly natural.

In general, people will try to speak in their native language if possible. You can take two people that share a native language and also both speak English and let them walk around in London - they will probably speak their native language, no matter how well they speak English.

Multilingual people that share multiple languages will switch on purpose when they feel like they can express their thoughts better in the other language.

Many languages have taken words from English.

Especially young people take a lot of English filler words and phrases (or insults) and put them into their native language. “Help, mein Deutschlehrer überfordert uns mit Hausaufgaben, like, what the fuck, glaubt der wir haben nichts besseres zu tun?” Is a sentence you would absolutely hear from a German student.

Many young people that don’t live in Great Britain or America will not use these words and phrases around their parents. First of all, our parents often do not speak English as well as we do, but more importantly, our parents do not like us using English instead of ur native language.

Many professions nowadays have an English name, I don’t know why. What used to be a Hausmeister is now a Facility Manager. The longer the English phrase for your profession, the more likely you will not be taken serious by older people.

Once you have more than one native language, you learn new languages more easily, for some reason. I know a girl that speaks 7 languages, at age 20, 5 of them fluently.

“You speak English quite well” or phrases like that said by a native speaker can be the best compliment ever, or more uncomfortable than nice.

When you are translating for your family and hear that sentence, it is super nice.

When you are only speaking English, that sentence indicates that your accent is still heavy. You do not pass as a native speaker.

When you are a native speaker, that sentence is just weird.

You can indentify the people that learnt a language through reading by giving them words that are pronounced untypically.

For years I thought “precious” (a word that is heavily used on the internet, especially in fan communities, but not that much in school) was pronounces pree-ci-ous. I was shocked when I heard it for the first time.

There are situations where even quite fluent non-native speakers will not be able to understand or talk in their second language.

The first few minutes after standing up (although that can change when the person is really fluent)

When they are in great pain

When they are in great fear

When they are under great stress

Sometimes even when they did not use that language in the last few days

Translating in realtime is terribly hard and will fuck your head. When I was on holiday with my parents, I often had to read the information signs in museums or at sights for them and translate. It’s easier when you first read the text and then summarise it in another language, but trying to translate it sentence by sentence is painful and you will question your abilities in both languages.

This gets just more horrible when under pressure. While we were in England, a visibly stressed young woman came to us and asked us if we had 5 pounds, she had lost some money she needed to take the train back home. I repeated her sentence to my father. In English.

Also sorry to the poor worker at McDonalds who I talked English to while speaking German to my English exchange student.

People abroad will absolutely become friends with every person that they hear speaking their language. While being in London, we overheard a man talking to his son in German about taking a photo, and I immediately asked (in German) if I should take a photo of both of them together. We talked for fifteen minutes after that, even though we had never met before.

On that note, in tourist citys the people that try to sell things to tourists usually speak a lot of languages enough to say things like “Oh, I speak a bit of [language], too, but not well. Didn’t pay enough attention in school. You look like nice people.” Makes it so easy to sell things.

Idioms are literally hell. Best example has been in the news currently, with Greta Thunberg literally translating a Swedish idiom in a tweet not realising that “putting someone against a wall” means something totally different in English. 

Idioms will be hell for you as a writer, too, though, as long as you do not fluently speak both of the languages or at least one of them is fictional, because it’s quite easy to mess up if you use idioms that jus aren’t normally used by people speaking that language.

Bilingual puns are amazing, but sadly rare.

Those are the things I thought of first… Maybe you can find some ideas or inspiration there for your characters, too. The best thing of course is to let someone proof-read your character if you are uncertain, but this hopefully already helped you a bit!