#the beauty and the orcs

[finleyfenn]

My next Orc Sworn book is coming in less than two weeks?! And to help get us ready, we have a new Nattfarr of Clan Grisk, by the AMAZING @hexxartfantasy 🥰

Hexx did such a stunning job with him, right?! His kilt, his hands, all his good Grisk gold... 🥵

Natt will be returning to help out his wayward clan brothers in The Beauty and the Orcs! Coming June 9!

[delightfullyruth]

I’ve been anticipating Varinn and Thrain’s story for a long time, everyone’s favourite Grisk disaster boys. We’ve seen throughout the series how Thrain’s been spiralling into alcoholism, and this book doesn’t pull any punches in addressing the issues, but it’s done with a great deal of empathy. The world of Orc Sworn is richly written and by now visiting them is like snuggling under a blanket after a long day.

Varinn is the good boy who struggles not to live up to everyone’s expectations of him being perfect.

Thrain is a hot Grisk mess who at the beginning of this book is hitting rock bottom in a pub, when who should happen to sit next to him but Kitty, who has been the perfect mistress for any man in business, coming to drown her sorrows after the worst day of her life, having been dropped by her protector who kicks the boot in by demanding all the jewellery back he’s ever given her. They share their woes and give each other a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, and Thrain being a nice orc, offers to walk her home to make sure she gets there safe and sound…all the way to her bedroom door…like you do.

All three characters grow and develop throughout the book and the relationship that develops between them is beautiful. They bring out the best in each other, as all good relationships should, but it is not an easy journey to get there. This is the most angst-ridden book of the whole series, which is saying a lot! Yet Finley Fenn masterfully manages it so that the angst never feels too much to bear for the reader. This book also showed them growing and learning not only as individuals but also about their own likes and dislikes in the bedroom. The smut level was off the charts and yet every scene was different enough to maintain your interest. Plus extra bonus point, the sex scenes start early in the book 🔥🔥🔥

The Grisk orcs are famous for their exceptional sense of smell and their love of bling. With both of our main male characters coming from the Grisk clan both play an important part. Smell almost feels like a character in its own right in the way it came to play into the plot at key moments. I wish that this book came with its own scratch and sniff element, as I would love to smell Varinn and Kitty the way Thrain does. Or an illustrated edition would be spectacular you, you know for literary purposes….

We’re spoilt in this book as there is second tale weaving between that of the main characters, taking place between Dammarr and Thrak. I don’t want to give anything away, but it is beautiful and sensitively done. The friendship that develops between Kitty and Dammarr is unexpected, but wonderful to experience. We get to peel back the layers on Dammarr, a character that we first got to know in The Heiress and The Orc. My absolute favourite scene from the entire book occurs between Dammarr and Thrak towards the end. I won’t give any details away so that the magic can unfold for you as you read the book, and you can enjoy it in its untainted glory.

If there wasn’t enough to love about this book, kittens keep popping up! And who can resist kittens?!

Finley Fenn has then gone on to spoil her readers by providing a bonus prologue AND epilogue, which you must make sure you read. It helps to get over the book hangover that all good books give you when you desperately don’t want them to end.

Now the long wait for the next book begins…

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC copy in exchange for my honest review.

[marlynnofmany]

Honking Trouble

This job was a pain from the start. The customer was pushy, giving Captain Sunlight a run for her money on the diplomacy front — not bad enough for us to refuse to make the delivery, but pushing the boundaries — and the cargo was awkward. 

And since it was animals, that was my problem. 

“Keep your distance,” I told Zhee. “I think it can get its beak between the bars.” The cage was large and rickety, with bars a few inches apart. As if to prove me right, a long furry neck with a beak at the end stabbed outward and hissed at us. 

Zhee flared his pincher arms and hissed back, but the creature wasn't impressed. It just spread its batlike wings as far as the cage would allow and made a surprisingly deep honk that echoed through the cargo bay. 

I hadn’t read the documents yet about what kind of animal this was, from which planet, but if those documents turned out to say this was a genetic experiment in unwise combinations, I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised. It was vaguely goose-shaped, just with four feet instead of two, equipped with talons instead of webs, white fur instead of feathers, and a beak that ended in a wickedly sharp hook. After all the hawks and parrots I’d encountered back on Earth, that beak looked ready for either mischief or violence. Probably both.

At any rate, the goose-thing’s honk set off the tiny creatures in the other cage, which thankfully were better contained. That cage was a mesh sphere not about to let any of the little drifting dust motes out. As enchanting as it might be to have the spaceship filled with colorful bits of fluff that moved gracefully and made a chorus of tiny peeps, they just looked like allergies waiting to happen. And I didn't want to think about finding them behind the wall panels later. 

Zhee hissed at the furry demon goose again, clearly hoping to frighten it into submission. No luck. 

“Knock it off,” I told him. “That'll just make it louder. Here, help me get the lifter under the cage.” The customer had brought the cage onboard for us, but this wasn't a good spot for it. So it was up to me, the resident animal expert, to get it moved safely to a room more suited to animal cargo. Nobody wanted to sneak past this biter to get to the rest of the crates. 

Luckily we had a freshly refurbished hoversled with a lifting scoop that could slide under anything as long as the thing in question held still. I convinced Zhee to hold the cage stationary, since his exoskeleton was tougher than my fingers. The goose-thing pecked at him from an awkward angle. I worked the controls, and soon our misbehaving cargo was lifted up onto the sled. 

I looked over at the round cage full of chirping alien pixies. “Let's come back for that one.”  

“Agreed.”

The goose was quiet while we moved it down the hall, taking in the sights with all the attention of someone casing the joint. I told myself not to be too judgmental. Maybe it had never been on a spaceship before, and was curious.

Then Blip walked out of a side corridor, wearing her favorite flowy silk outfit that made her look like a muscley flower, and no: the goose was just looking for opportunities. It snapped at the nearest hem and almost got a beakful, but Blip moved just in time. Then she scolded it for almost ripping quality Frillian clothes.

“Do you know how hard this is to replace? Of course you don’t; you’re a rude animal.” She shook a blue finger at the unrepentant goose. Behind her, Blop appeared and aimed his own frown into the cage.

“Sorry,” I said. “Don’t get too close to this one. At least it was only aiming for your clothes, not something that would bleed.”

Blip folded muscular arms, flared her frills, and scowled. “It would have regretted that.”

I sighed, pushing the hoversled forward. “Don’t punch the cargo.”

Blip muttered as we left. There were no further incidents on the way into Storage Hold B, and the goose didn’t even try to bite us as we got the cage off the sled. It was busy inspecting the view: boxes, cabinets, and the large clear containment pen that had held troublemaking cargo before. It would have been nice to shove this guy in there, but the cage wouldn’t fit through the door, and there was no way I was going to voluntarily let it out.

“I’m watching you,” I told it as I followed Zhee back into the hall. Technically Kavlae was watching, or maybe Wio — whoever was in the cockpit behind the security cameras. They’d be making sure the onboarding process went smoothly before the ship took off.

I knew that, but I was still surprised to hear Kavlae’s voice on the hallway intercom a few minutes later.

“Walk faster,” she said from a single speaker. “It’s trying to open a box.”

“It can reach that??” I asked, pushing the hoversled more quickly. The aura puffs squeaked and twirled. (Their cage had a label, with a species description and the number of creatures inside. They were behaving.)

Zhee scurried ahead on his many bug legs to open the door. Before I could get there, he charged inside, hissing again. I heard answering hisses and the sound of a crate being scraped across the floor.

Once I got the aura puffs into the room, I found Zhee inspecting a gnawed-on box corner with splinters on the floor. The goose looked pleased with itself.

I asked, “What’s the damage?”

“Nothing significant,” Zhee said. “Luckily this is our own ship’s supplies, not something for a client.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t look good.” I parked the sled. “‘Here’s your delivery! You don’t mind a little artistic nibbling about the edges, do you?’ I’m sure that would go over well.”

Zhee shoved a couple other boxes further back and helped me set the aura puffs a safe distance away. Then, under Kavlae’s watchful eye, we went back to the cargo bay for some non-animal cargo.

The intercom chimed before we got there. “It’s trying to pick the lock on its cage,” Kavlae said, still on single-speaker mode. “I don’t know if it c— Oh no, it’s out.”

I left the sled in the middle of the hallway and ran, with Zhee right behind me.

Speakers all along the hall chorused, “It opened the other cage.”

I said a very unprofessional word and charged forward to slam my hand on the door-opening panel. Expecting the one cargo to be actively eating the other, I dashed inside, only to be knocked off my feet by the goose making a break for it. I fell amid clouds of happily chirping aura puffs.

Zhee lunged for the goose, but it dodged what would have been a very painful hug from his pincher arms, and I heard it honking triumphantly down the hall. Zhee ran after it while the whole-ship intercom chimed.

“Escaped cargo. It is large and likes to bite. Currently heading towards the crew lounge. Captain, permission to use stun guns on the cargo?”

After a moment, Captain Sunlight answered from somewhere else on the ship. “Permission granted. All available crew, arm yourselves and proceed with caution. Kavlae, keep us posted on its whereabouts.”

Trying not to feel like a failure, I scrambled to my feet and checked a cabinet for stun guns. Found one. Waving the aura puffs away from the door, I regretfully left them floating about the storage hold while I chased after the bigger problem. Zhee had already disappeared.

I met Trrili in the hall.

“How dangerousss is thisss animal?” she asked, looming over me and flexing her pincher arms in delight.

“I don’t think it wants to seriously hurt anyone, but I can’t say for sure,” I said. “It might go for the eyes if it’s cornered. Try not to damage it.”

“Frrrrightening causesss no damage,” Trrili said, and flashed away down the hall.

I ran after.

Kavlae reported, “It’s in the crew lounge, searching the furniture, probably looking for food. This could be a good place to corner it.”

Trrili waited in position outside the lounge when I arrived, crouched like a spider ready to spring. Zhee was moving toward the kitchen entrance to flank it. A flash of yellow scales at the other end of the hall was Captain Sunlight hurrying forward with a stun gun aimed at the floor. The goose made a muffled honk from inside the lounge, crunching something that sounded like snack food scavenged from under the couch.

I stopped behind Trrili and waited for everyone to get into position. Two threatening predators and two stun guns ought to be a recipe for success against one alien goose.

Then the goose dashed into the kitchen before Zhee could get there, and the whole plan went out the window.

Trrili raced after it. Zhee got in the captain’s way. I reached the kitchen in time to see the creature hiss in defiance before prying open a cabinet door.

It might have thought that was an exit. In reality, it was Paint’s hiding spot, and she shrieked fit to shatter eardrums, curling into a ball of scales and panic.

That was enough of a distraction for Mimi to drop from the high shelf he’d been waiting on, and wrap the demon goose in all of his tentacles. It was surprisingly effective.

That’s not the plan, but I’ll take it.

Everyone was shouting and in the way. I followed Mimi’s example and climbed onto a counter, where I could get a clear shot with the stun gun and not hit him.

I stunned the goose in the butt, and it finally stopped flapping.

It took a while for all the yelling to subside, but the captain wriggled past Zhee and Trrili to declare no harm done. Kavlae told the rest of the ship. Mimi untangled himself from the goose, who had frozen in an inconvenient position. Paint stayed in the cabinet. Zhee clicked away to get the hoversled, then stopped when Trrili simply dragged the goose towards the hold.

Captain Sunlight looked up at me. “Good shot.”

“Thanks,” I said, getting down from the counter. I’d have to wash the footprints off that later. “Paint, it’s safe to come out.”

Mimi was already coaxing her out of the cabinet, offering some of the snacks that she’d apparently been eating when she heard the alert about the dangerous animal.

Speaking of which, I thought. With Paint in good hands (or the equivalent), I hurried after the others. I heard Captain Sunlight say a few words to Paint and Mimi before following.

So we got to put the goose in the Clear Pen For Naughty Animals after all. This pen didn’t have anywhere it could stick its beak out of once the stun wore off, only mesh-covered air vents way at the top and a door that locked (very reliably) from the outside.

Take that, you troublemaker.

We caught the aura puffs carefully by hand (or the equivalent), and put them back in their own cage. Thankfully the goose hadn’t damaged the latch, just opened it with bird-brained cleverness.

“It’s just those last two left,” Captain Sunlight said after counting. “Up there.”

The two in question were floating higher than her little lizardy arms could reach, so I moved to do the honors. As I did, Blip and Blop arrived with the bug-catching net that no one had been able to find earlier.

They also brought with them a feline blur that I caught mid-leap, just before Telly snatched an aura puff out of the air.

“Not for you,” I said, heart beating wildly. “Let’s get you some proper cat treats that don’t belong to a paying customer.”

Blip and Blop exclaimed loudly at Telly’s speed, my reaction time, and the fact that they’d had no idea she was there; they were sorry they almost got the cargo eaten.

Captain Sunlight repeated, “No harm done.” She waved me off to my quarters with the disgruntled cat, and spoke to the others about plans to notify the customer of just what kind of danger fee he’d brought upon himself by not properly securing his chaos-causing animal.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[dalblauw]

Tough news gang, she lost an arm :[

[erotomechanixxx]

[an-eldritch-peredhel]

You are the daughter of an angelic faerie and an elven king. You have grown up inside the only magical safe-haven of an increasingly apocalyptic land outside. You have wanted for nothing, essentially leading the perfect life, suffering and death playing little role beyond the abstract. Your father will never die, and your mother will never leave, but for tradition you are still crown princess and are educated as such. You love to dance and to sing.

You meet some kind of monster inside your mother's borders, a monster not of her or your making. It stumbled across you, dancing in the forest, bloody and travel-worn and weary and wide-eyed as it stares. You are stronger than it, but you run rather than lunge for the kill. You feel pity, more than fear. And something about him makes the part of you that you inherited from your mother sing.

He tries to follow you, for a year and a day. You are stronger, and faster, and stealthier, and you let him see you sometimes anyways. You are not convinced that he is not a monster, but nor are you convinced that he is.

Spring blooms again to the tune of your song, and you let him get closer than before until you run.

But you hear him speak for the first time. He is a speaker, and perhaps to him you are the monster. You do not run, and you do not kill.

He calls you "Tinuviel"

He calls you nightingale- a little songbird, plain and brown, with a lovely voice. They are your mother's creation, but he does not know this.

He calls you daughter of twilight- perhaps for your skin and eyes and hair, but perhaps because that is when he has seen you most.

He calls you singer- creator of the very fabric of the universe, skilled enough to deserve the title.

You are the most beautiful creature the world will ever see, the daughter of an angel and a king. He does not call you beautiful, or angelic, or princess. He calls you a singer, plain and brown, dark and distant as the approaching night.

He is bloody and travel-worn and weary and wide-eyed as you dare to step closer.

He called you nightingale.

You don't know what to call him, but you hope to find out.

[aimportantdragoncollector]

Chapters: 5/9 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Midoriya Izuku & Sensei | All For One, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Everyone, Midoriya Inko/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Sensei | All For One, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Midoriya Inko, U.A. Faculty (My Hero Academia), Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), Past One For All Users (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Space, Humans are space orcs, Creepy Sensei | All For One, Sensei | All For One is the absolute worst, Smart Midoriya Izuku, Good Parent Midoriya Inko, Protective Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Class 1-A Friendship (My Hero Academia), Alien Cultural Differences, Traumatized Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug Series: Part 12 of A Guide to Death Worlders Summary:

After All for One escapes from prison, Yuuei rallies around Izuku protectively. However, despite their reassurances, Izuku knows he will never be safe until All for One is defeated. Let the final confrontation begin!

#

Rin drew this art for Church Grim’s AU off our AU where alien All for One turns into a human. The latest comic is at https://www.tumblr.com/churchgrimchan/756118174110515200/this-is-part-4-of-my-au-afo-becomes-a-hu-man-based. Rin drew this for a swap and kindly gave us permission to share the horror with all our readers. The colors are beautiful!

[geostelar5]

So can anyone clarify what the actual fuck a deathworld is?? Its a term thats thrown around a lot, and I feel like my autistic ass can't understand the term because well...Earth is the only planet we know of that can support life! Like, yes there are dangerous things about it but all the dangerous stuff actually supports WHY it is able to support life the way it does. How its very active volcanically means that things shift and we keep strong magnetic poles to dispirse deadly radiation and solar winds. How we have giant storms that redistribute heat and water into cycles that we can predict and adapt to. How every single enviornment on earth has SOMETHING adapted to live near it because despite what people think. Earth is VERY hospitable to life. In fact I kind of think that the term "Deathworld" probably sprung up from a bunch of panicked alien scientists or observers who saw the stuff Earth has on it and kind of panicked and labeled it like that without understanding WHY the Earth is so hospitbal to all the different kinds of life that we see. So if anyone can explain to me why this dangerous, but actually very hospitable and comfortable planet for life to thrive on called earth is called a Deathworld, when that should be reserved for places like Venus where things DONT actually live. That would be great

[bilbo-babe]

[finleyfenn]

More art from The Beauty and the Orcs! 💚 This one is Varinn and Kitty having a cozy moment in Orc Mountain's Grisk wing... and doting on their favourite Disaster Orc, who is busy making himself useful 😈 They're by the fabulous Kamz! And for more about the book: https://books2read.com/beautyorcs

[kazz-brekker]

interesting little throughline in that episode of people being fascinated by galadriel's hair…i wonder if that was supposed to be a nod to feanor's obsession with it in the silmarillion

[marlynnofmany]

Walkway Aesthetics

The door opened from the spaceport to the city proper, and I couldn’t help saying, “Oh wow.” I’d expected a regular walkway, maybe with a moving sidewalk or hovercarts, probably with ads and decorations. The last few big cities we’d visited had all been pretty bland in terms of entrance-way style.

This one was an aquarium. The long tunnel curved away under a domed ceiling with vast sea creatures undulating by overhead, and others darting about in flashes of scales. Subtle blue-and-purple lighting lit up both the benches alongside and the water above. Specks of phosphorescence danced everywhere like fairies under a starry sky. The effect was breathtaking.

I ventured out into the purple-blue wonderland. “Wow, this is amazing.”

Three of my coworkers followed, and were less impressed.

“Eh, it’s not very original,” Kavlae said with a flip of her frills. Under the lighting, her sky-blue skin was a shifting purple. “Water scenes are pretty tiresome, honestly.”

“You said it,” agreed Mur down from floor level. He tentacle-walked along like the opinionated squid alien he was, blending with the bluish shadows. “Once you’ve seen things swimming past, you’ve seen them all.”

I asked, “Are you serious? This is beautiful.”

Paint huddled close beside me, her orange scales turned an indistinct brown. “I think it’s scary.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

She clasped her hands, shaking her head. “That’s a lot of water, and a lot of creatures. What if the barrier broke?”

“Well yeah, that would be bad,” I admitted. “But it’s not going to.”

Paint walked faster. “Still scary. Look at that one! It’s so big!”

The alien whale or whatever that coasted past had bioluminescent swirls along its underside, and a cloud of the glowing water-pixies flitting along after it. Beautiful, and awe-inspiringly close.

“Ah, that’s so cool!” I said, turning in place as I walked to keep it in sight.

Paint just squeaked and scampered ahead, followed by Kavlae and Mur.

“C’mon, we’re leaving you behind,” Mur told me.

“I’m coming,” I said. There were glowing eels or something up ahead, and I jogged to get a look. The other three continued turning up their various noses the whole way down.

When we finally reached the other end, a family of humans were just entering the tunnel. Their awestruck expressions were vindicating.

“Ohhh, wow!”

“This is lovely!”

“Look at the size of that one! I can almost touch it!”

“Don’t smudge the glass, honey.”

“But it’s so cool!”

I joined my coworkers at the exit with no small amount of smugness. “See? They get it.”

Mur waved a tentacle. “That just shows that your entire species has poor taste in decor.”

Paint shuddered, stepping into the brighter light of the station. “I would feel much safer with solid ground on all sides instead of all that water.”

I laughed. “See, that would make me worry that it was about to fall down on me.”

“A proper burrow would never!”

Kavlae walked past us both. “You planet-born folk have the silliest ideas about these things. I’ll stick with my windows into space.”

The rest of us immediately jumped in to agree that the risk of a hatch blowout was scarier than any cave-in. But the view of stars and galaxies could be pretty dang beautiful, so it was worth it.

~~~

Inspired by this art by @ellohcee.

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[imparrot]

High key love everything about 'humans are space orcs' posts because they are celebrations of human-ness and I really think that's special

[myfanfictiongarden]

You know what? I usually completely ignore any form of mindless negativity towards Rings of Power- we all know it is based on half truths and ignorance of both the show and Tolkien’s actual novels. But today when I opened YT and was greeted by at least four videos about how this show is “a disgrace to Tolkien”, how “tv is bad for Tolkien”, “orcs with families shouldn’t exist” or even how “Galadriel is the real villain here”… guys, I GOT MAD!!!!

Disgrace to Tolkien? This show covers topics he very much wrote about. Tv is a bad format to adapt his stories? Have you ever even read the Appendices or The Silmarillion? How the heck else would you adapt them? In a Movie that cuts away 60% like Jackson did with LOTR? Orcs breed just like Men and Elves, of course they have families!!!! EVERYONE AND THEIR GRANDMA SAW THAT GALADRIEL ADMITTED HER FAULT AND WEAKNESSES AND ASKED FOR HELP!!!!!! If you dislike her character the way she was before meeting Frodo 3000 years later you have to complain to Tolkien directly because he is the one who wrote her.

What is it that Gil-Galad said in ep1?

Argh!!!!

[dndspellgifs]

Unbreakable Majesty

class ability

College of Glamour Bard

[queen-scribbles]

Potato Soup & Other Delicacies

First BG3 fic, let's gooo! \o/ ~1k, Tala and Gale talking about food, bc what better way to make friends? ---

"Turmeric? Really?!"

Tala laughed at the disbelieving tone. "That's what I said! But Lila was so insistent" --a small huff as she settled the lean-to frame together-- "I gave it a try, and damned if it wasn't delicious, even as the last thing you'd expect-"

"In a dessert," Gale finished with her, skepticism still plain on his face. He fussed with his own tent a moment longer. "I will admit, the thought wouldn't have occurred to me."

"Something about the way it interacts with the other flavors," she said, lashing the lean-to securely. The weather was pleasant; this would serve for tonight. "The earthiness enhances them, I suppose."

"No, I know how turmeric works," he said, settling his pack in his tent and kneeling to dig through the communal supplies for dinner ingredients. "I'd think it would be overpowering to everything else in a dish as small as a pie."

"I'm not saying chuck in a handful of it, Gale," Tala chuckled. She dipped her head toward the foodstuff he was gathering in silent inquiry if he wanted help, moved to do so when he nodded. "It's a tiny little pinch added to the filling before you even mix in the fruit."

"Next time I've the opportunity to make that particular pie, I'll give it a chance. Always good to be a bit adventurous, ey?"

"Almost always, at least." She glanced over at Wyll and Bottlen, still nursing some bruises from testing that adage earlier, then down at the growing pile of tubers between them. "What are we making for dinner?"

"Potato soup." Gale passed her a knife. "We have an abundance of the hearty fellows, and some are not much longer for the world. So rather than them go to waste, we have soup. Despite lacking some of the herbs I prefer to include, it will still be a filling--hopefully delicious--meal."

"I'm sure, all your cooking's been delicious so far." Tala hefted one of the larger potatoes, though in her hand it looked rather average. "Skin off or on after we wash them?"

"On, of course." He plunged several of the potatoes into the bucket of water someone had left while they were preoccupied discussing desserts. "Adds flavor."

"Oh, I'm of the same mind," she grinned following suit with the rest of the potatoes. "But I know some who peel them so it looks nicer, or they don't care for the texture. I didn't want to get halfway through cutting one up and find it should've been peeled first."

"A valid concern with all the cooking methods out there. Smart to check." Gale piled the clean potatoes on the rock between them. "D'you mind terribly if I work on the base while you cut these?" He swiveled one hand in a gesture at their companions. "We've a lot of mouths to feed, and some are less... patient about it than others."

Tala snickered. Is this where I make a joke about Halsin being a bear when he's hungry? "Not at all. Potato dicing happens to be my specialty."

That startled a laugh from Gale as he rummaged for other ingredients. "Do tell."

"Fastest and best at the orphanage," she said. She dragged over a smaller stewpot and set to work as she talked. "We took turn with the chores; rotating assignments by dormitories. Kitchen duty was always my favorite." Even if it had occasionally meant being pelted with eggshells or potato peels alongside muttered comments about her heritage. "The cook saw me watching him prep dinner and asked if I'd like to help so I could learn. No one else liked all the chopping so they let me have it whenever it was our turn there."

"And a chef was born?" Gale asked dryly, starting the base ingredients at a simmer.

"Hardly," Tala snorted. The potatoes were half-done, pile dwindling under her skilled hands even while she spoke. "I was in my teens before the cook took me as a more permanent helper, seeing as I enjoyed it so much, and even then... cooking for an orphanage and temple is usually simple fare that's easy to make in bulk. Potato soup, venison stew, roast boar on occasion. My travels haven't afforded much chance to learn fancier or more specialized dishes."

It was only sort-of untrue; the couple times she'd tried to get work at a tavern, they'd wanted her as muscle, not cook. She hadn't wanted to mire herself down for that.

Gale was watching her like he heard the part she hadn't explained. (Thanks to the tadpoles, maybe he had. She kept forgetting about the squirmy little buggers.) "Well, lucky for you," he began, giving the soup base a stir as the simmering picked up, "I happen to have a vast repertoire of recipes, and I'm more than happy to impart my wisdom to a willing mind."

"That part I knew," she teased. With the potatoes all cut, she hefted the stewpot. "And I would love to learn any you care to pass along." A pause. "Soon as we have a better selection of ingredients."

"Oh, pish." He stepped back to let her add the potatoes to the main pot. "There's at least four things I can show you with what we have."

"Alright, now I'm intrigued." She set the pot down and wiped her hand on her trousers. "Considering we didn't even have everything for the soup tonight."

"Adding a couple more herbs if I had my druthers is not to say our stocks are severely lacking," He waved away her droll words with a smile. "I'll show you tomorrow. Do you enjoy roast duck?"

"Who doesn't?" Tala rejoined, propping her chin on her palm to watch him with her job done.

"I knew there was a reason I got along with you." Gale's smile widened. "I'll show you how to prepare one that puts Audrine's to shame."

"Never eaten there, so I'll take your word both that it's an impressive feat and that you can do it."

"No?" He cocked his head. "But I thought you said you passed through..."

"Like most... upper-crust establishments, they weren't overly enthused about serving someone like me," she said with a shrug and sardonic--tusky--grin. "By which, of course, I mean a dusty, travel-stained cleric with more enthusiasm than coin."

Gale's brows twitched briefly toward furrowing before he--as she hoped--let it lie. "Well, you won't need to after I confer this knowledge upon you. For now, however, could you fetch some parsley, please?"

"Of course." Tala swiveled to root through pockets for the herb, tone completely innocent as she added, "Would you like some turmeric as well?"

"Very funny," he drawled. "And no, thank you. Just the parsley."

She handed it over and settled back in to resume watching. "What other sorts of things do you know how to make?"

Gale chuckled. "Do you want them alphabetically or categorized by course?"

Oh, that was promising. Tala grinned. "Surprise me."