#and a great way to fully understand ourselves

[magicisrealandsoismyally]

Have you ever met a trans woman? In real life? Because it feels like you view us the exact same as you view cis men. And I don't blame you for being afraid, you're operating off a lack of information. I'm not saying you're automatically wrong, but I definitely feel like your opinions would be different if you actually knew and made efforts to understand and hear more trans voices.

You have a lot of focus on AMAB and AFAB, but sex isn't a set in stone reality. Plenty of AMABs don't have penises, and plenty of AFABS do. Bottom surgery fully exists, and your argument doesn't consider people who have genuinely, medically modified their sex. Are we going to segregate based on assigned sex at birth? Because that would be transphobia, inherently equating people's sex at birth to what gendered spaces they're allowed within. Are we going to segregate based on current sex? Because now we're checking people's genitals and locking community behind the ability to afford sex reassignment surgeries. At the end of the day, the idea of segregation is flawed and fascist. The patriarchy and elite defines and separates us based on sex as a way to have us at each others throats instead of the real issues.

"any more than 0 women is unacceptable as a sacrifice to validate AMAB identity/feelings"

I need you to understand that this is a transphobic statement. I'm not saying you're a bad person or anything. Internalized transphobia is something everyone has, even me. It's our duty as people fighting for a better world to realize that kinda thing. It feels like your idea of being a trans ally is allowing trans men into feminist spaces, but as long as you exclude all trans women, you're still being a transphobe. Being a trans ally isn't just about being nice to trans people or letting some of them into your spaces, it's about accepting their gender identity. You're not a trans ally by treating trans men like cis women and trans women like cis men. You're still assigning social gender to sex at birth. I'm not telling you this to say you're bad, I'm saying this to help you realize that your argument is transphobic.

If we define our society through our fear of other groups based entirely off things that people do not choose, sex, gender, race, cultural group, etc., you are just reinventing fascism. You cannot be free if you still choose to wear the chains. You are not going to become free with the tools of your oppressor. The more you define the world with biological sex, the more the patriarchy wins. Because they also assign traits to people based on biological sex. That's how we ended up like this. Real change comes from destroying their tools, not taking them for ourselves.

Racism, ableism, and sexism are all older than capitalism yes, but they're all products of fear and hatred encouraged by elites to keep people in line, to stop people from uniting against them. Capitalism is another in a long line of power structures using hatred as a tool to stop us from actually uniting against those with power. Trans women are not your enemy. Segregating yourself from us is not going to help you overcome these power structures.

I mean this in the kindest way I can, you are letting fear define your politics. Just like every fascist's supporters have. You are letting fear of a group you do not understand or interact with, define how you treat them. Please, talk to some transfems, it will do you some good. You have an idea of us in your mind that doesn't reflect who we are in the slightest. We are not men. We never have been.

I'm not against creating specific safe spaces if that's necessary, but your entire argument is laced with subtle transmisogyny, and it tells me you're not coming at this from a healthy mindset. Have a great day, and I really hope you can see what I'm seeing upon reflection.

"OP is a terf" is a thought-terminating cliche meant to keep you from questioning the status quo and keep you afraid of being labeled a heretic should you come to your own conclusions about anything.

[imparrot]

High key love everything about 'humans are space orcs' posts because they are celebrations of human-ness and I really think that's special

[jacksintention]

I'm thinking again on the fact that so often comments, criticism and readings on Jack dwell a lot on how he is barely human/a person/doesn't have a personality at the point of the story and, while I somewhat understand these points, I find them so lacking. I find them... ableist? I'm always doubtful to use the word here because I'm not sure if it's applied in this kind (mental health) of context, but something like that. And I find them extremely simplistic.

However, honestly, a big part of the reason for these readings being so popular is that the manga itself words it that way. But that's one of the problems I find in the manga. When I say P.andora Hear.ts is very good but unfortunately it is very manga-like at times, besides the 2000s homojokes and the like, I'm usually thinking about things like this. I feel like often characters and situations that are (potentially) very intricate instead of getting insightful deep overviews often get screwed by the writing itself, which falls into very manga tropes a lot in a bad way (not that every manga has to fall into them, or that every manga trope has to be bad or written badly).

I don't know... For instance, I'd argue R.askolnikov's capacity for love in Cr.ime and Punishmen.t is debatable, but it's never treated as if it made him less of a person, a human being or made him not have a personality. I'd say not even Svidrigailo.v, who is as much a Bad Guy™ as a character can be, gets that treatment by the writing. I'd say that even him or Mikol.ka are written as fully fleshed human beings with their intricate internal lives and feelings. Svidrig.ailov's last scene with D.unya is fascinating for both characters and spins the whole dynamic and makes you question the entire narrative and veracity of not only those two characters, but brings to mind several other conversations among different characters and throws light (and doubt!) on the main plot between R.askolnikov and Porf.iry.

In similar situations, Jack's humanity, personhood and personality are debated, doubted and even full on accepted as vanished. No one reads Crim.e and Punishmen.t and comes to the same conclusions about Raskolni.kov, Svidrig.ailov, Sony.a or Razu.mikhin. The writing doesn't allow it. The writing doesn't allow you to forget that humanity is diverse and multifaceted, that it can be sad and cruel and loving and monstrous, even all at the same time, or that a person may struggle with feeling at all; and one is still a person.

[ghelgheli]

Historians are rarely challenged just for applying words like ‘woman’ and ‘man’ to the past; it would not inevitably cause a backlash to say that a historical figure wanted power, or grieved, or felt anger. A trans historian, though, is caught in the double-bind of the DSM-5. Our experiences and our desires are quite literally mad. We do not have the social license to see ourselves fractured and reflected in historical figures; we are standing in the wrong place to write. Put simply, if you foreclose trans readings, you foreclose trans writing. When we reflect on the similarities between our lives and those of historical figures, we are accused of spreading our social contagion to the dead. To read our own anamorphoses in a text, to communicate that to a cis academic establishment who have rendered our unqualified subjectivities unimaginable, we are forced to accuse historical figures of transness. And then, of course, we are chastised for pathologising them. For a trans historian, it is not viable to simply universalise our experiences of gender. In order to relate to historical figures’ gendered experiences in our writing in a way that is legible to cis readers, we have to assert that those figures were trans. There is a gap to be bridged, and the onus to bridge it falls on us… Transmisogyny and anti-effeminacy were and are integral to the structure of patriarchy and therefore to cisness (or vice-versa). In ‘Monster Culture (Seven Theses)’, Jeffrey Jerome Cohen proposed a methodology for reading cultures: ‘from the monsters they engender’. In concluding this sketch of Byzantine cisness, I would like to attempt to apply this method. To monster a group or an individual is a violent act, and through examining the way transfemininity was monstered in Byzantium, we can begin to understand the shape of the violent regulation of gendered possibilities that constituted Byzantine cisness… Synesius [of Cyrene] did not simply compare the image of the elegantly coiffed effeminate with the shiny dome of the soldier’s helmet; he went one step further, proclaiming that pretty hair was the give-away for hidden effeminacy. He rails against ‘effeminate wretches’ who ‘make a cult of their hair’, who he suggests engage in sex work not out of economic necessity but as an act of sex and gender exhibitionism, to ‘display fully the effeminacy of their character’. Then, he goes on to say:

And whoever is secretly perverted, even if he should swear the contrary in the marketplace, and should present no other proof of being an acolyte of Cotys save only in a great care of his hair, anointing it and arranging it in ringlets, he might well be denounced to all as one who has celebrated orgies to the Chian goddess and the Ithyphalli.

The implication is clear: long, well kempt, perfumed and curled hair is not just hair, it is a signifier, one that signals total abnegation of manhood, and therefore of cisness. This demonstrates one of the mechanisms by which cisness was maintained and enforced in the Byzantine world. Relatively minor embodied gender transgressions, like too-long or too-pretty hair, could be linked to transfemininity and to sexual receptivity, the two farthest points from patriarchal manhood. That is not to say that this prevented people from committing such gender transgressions; rather that it made them risky, a weapon that could be used against you by anyone who wanted to do you harm. The other thing demonstrated by Synesius’ invective is the relationship between effeminacy, unmasculine vanity and presumed sexual receptivity. It would be tempting, based on the relationship Synesius draws between long beautiful hair and receptive anal sex, to suggest that the animating force of this antipathy is, if not homophobia, a narrower pre-modern equivalent. There is, however, a fantastically complicating detail in Synesius’ remark on the reasons such ‘effeminates’ engage in sex work: being sexually available is presented as an instrumental, rather than terminal value. In Synesius’ imagination, sex work is the means, but social recognition of the feminine gender of the sex worker is the end: to ‘display fully the effeminacy of their character’. The monster Synesius invokes to shore-up his own gender position, to guard his own cisness and his access to hegemonic masculinity, is an unambiguously transmisogynist fantasy. It is here that Byzantine cisness most sharply converges with twenty-first-century cisness.

‘Selective Historians’: The Construction of Cisness in Byzantine and Byzantinist Texts, Ilya Maude [DOI]

[yesimwriting]

a/n challengers changed me, so have this drabble <3

----

the soft sound of rubber soles making their way across the court startles you more than it should. it's bad enough that you're running so late you had to change in the library bathroom and that you're still putting on your tennis shoes. you don't need anything else making you seem un-together.

"you know..." patrick's closer than you thought he'd be, his racket dangling by his side, just barely scraping the ground you're sitting on. you let your fingers rest between your ankle and the back of your shoe as you look up at him. "you took so long we started to think you were standing us up."

the sentence feels lighthearted, but that doesn't keep unease from prodding at you. your friendship with patrick and art is still new enough that the wrongness of being late feels sharper.

"oh, no," you shake your head slightly in an attempt to emphasize your point. you straighten an arm to rest it on your bent knee. "no, i--the lunch with my sponsors ran long, and i had to change and--" patrick lets you ramble as he bends a knee, slowly moving to sit across from you. he sets down his racket with all the patience in the world, watching you with a lightness behind his eyes that radiates good humor. "and you were joking."

he leans back on one arm before lifting a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "a little, but that sponsorship thing..." patrick angles his head to one side in what feels like mock contemplation. "that sounds important, we should consider ourselves lucky that we made it onto your schedule."

his tone leaves your face feeling a little warmer. you let your attention fall back to your shoe. "no, not like that at all."

"well, i feel lucky," he says, "art, do you feel lucky?"

you turn your neck to look back at art. he's closer than you remember, the toe of his shoe so close to your leg that you'd only have to stretch a little to reach him. he lets out soft sigh before sitting next to patrick. "extremely."

the word borders on flat, a pinch of something you can't quite interpret bleeding into the syllables. his attention shifts away from you and towards patrick. maybe you weren't meant to fully understand. after all, they're life long best friends. and while normally encroaching on that kind of dynamic makes you feel like an intruder, with them, everything's always been comfortable.

"don't." you refocus on your shoes, pulling the laces taut between your fingers. "i'm the lucky one, you guys are great."

"and you're amazing." art breathes out the compliment in a way that feels concrete. real. the words don't feel like a necessary step in a polite exchange, they feel genuine. it's the kind of unabashed praise that's hard not to fluster at. "seriously--your backhand, i've never seen anything like it."

you let yourself smile, ignoring the warmth crawling up your chest. "thanks."

before you can dwell on the exchange, patrick leans forward. his fingers carefully bend around your ankle. patrick watches you expectantly as he extends a leg. you release your laces, letting him lift your foot onto his lower thigh.

"patrick."

"what?" patrick's gaze briefly flickers towards art as he crosses your shoe laces. "i'm helping out our girl." he tugs on your laces, neatly looping them. "ignore him, he's jealous."

you squint at him curiously, feeling like you're missing out on some kind of joke. "really? you think he wants to tie my other shoe?"

"i think," patrick secures a snug knot into place, "he wants to do whatever you want him to."

patrick settles a hand over your ankle. you let out a sound that's more a puff of air than a true laugh. "shut up." you lift your foot in a pretend kick. patrick makes a show of releasing your leg, holding up his hand as if to convey innocence. you pull your leg back. "don't make him sound so lame."

"yeah," art echoes, leaning towards patrick, "don't make me sound so lame."

patrick grins as he shoves art's shoulder. he pushes himself to stand with no warning. "c'mon, let's play."

you reach over for your other shoe before bending your leg. it takes no time for you to pull on but before you can adjust the laces, art's by your side. he pulls on your laces until your shoe feels secure. "too tight?"

with the way he's studying you, it takes you a moment too long to react. you shake your head once. "n-no, that's good."

he angles his head downwards, attention returning to your laces. "good."

art smiles as he squeezes your upper calf in an almost startling display of affection. he pushes himself to stand before offering you his hand.

——

lmk if you liked this, i have so many thoughts about them

[loveemagicpeace]

12th house & South Node

12th house is the house of the unconscious, the unknown, the hidden, the hidden, the secret, the subconscious, spirituality. Things we can't see but feel. It represents the subconscious and what is hidden within ourselves. It shows how we control our subconscious and how we connect with the subconscious.

South Node represents the energy that we give to others and at the same time the energy that we know and can manage. Energy in which we feel comfortable. The path with which we are more connected and feel more at home in it. Even the habits we have that are familiar to us and in which we feel the most okay. Even the talents that we already have in ourselves and it is not difficult for us to show them to others.

Sun in 12th house-here is hidden your identity and a part of you that you would like others to see . You can often feel that people don't see you in the right light. You have the feeling that no one really "sees" you, and sometimes it can be difficult for you to understand why. Your light shines when no one is looking and when you are all alone.Your hobbies can be related to spiritual things or they can be really mysterious. Your light can manifest itself in many ways. It is importnat to trust yourself. And you will be seen best when you express your sign in the sun.

South Node in 1st house- The first house is about your first breath into the world. That’s the natal placement. Houses twelve, one, and two are said to be about the first phase of life when you’re just a kid trying to learn a world that means nothing to you yet. Sometimes it’s this assumption that the child will work the same jobs that the parent worked. The South Node in the 1st House reflects a personality that is assertive, independent, and focused on self-expression. The individual is learning to balance their self-interest with consideration for others, moving towards a more collaborative and mutually supportive approach in this lifetime. You're comfortable in your own skin and being by yourself. You're used to being by yourself and doing things alone. You can be really independent.

Moon in 12th house- your emotions are hidden and subconsciously you may feel like no one notices your emotions or how you really feel. Many times you can feel other people's feelings or they can be transferred onto you. Sometimes things can make you very sad and you can also cry very quickly (it is very difficult to hold back tears or emotions). Your home can be more unusual or invisible. Later in your life you can live somewhere else or in a country far away from your home. Your feelings can sometimes be unclear or dreamy. Sometimes you can feel things that you can't explain. You can sacrifice a lot emotionally for other people without fully realizing it.

South Node in 2nd house- you are used to being in luxury, having money, material things. You are used to being in control of your things, feelings and well-being. With the South Node in the 2nd house, you might find yourself grappling with karmic lessons around wealth and poverty. This placement often indicates a soul that has known both great wealth and devastating loss. This journey involves moving beyond the need for external validation. You know how to enjoy life and relax. You don't stress about things you have no control over and you know how to be stable in situations. However, this placement can also signify an overemphasis on self-reliance, material attachment, or defining yourself by what you own or have achieved. While you’re naturally gifted in managing practical matters, there’s a tendency to find security through physical or material means alone, sometimes at the expense of deeper, more emotional connections.

Mercury in 12th house-many times you can feel that people do not understand you and that they do not understand your language. Your thoughts can be very subconscious and hidden, even dreamy. Sometimes you can't even define what you're thinking and sometimes it's hard for you to express what you want to say. You can travel a lot around places that are by the water. Mercury brings wealth and travels and the opportunity to settle abroad. It brings growth that can take you from a small position where you started to a leading role on the professional front. You have a very curious mind which means that you might have a good inclination towards knowledge. You are not very interested in savings and believe in spending money on lifestyle as well as necessities. You can have second marriage here. These people are also known for their introverted nature. As far as career is concerned, these people are likely to make their career in a profession like journalism, poetism or as a media person. In yout early 30s, you might face many struggles but might gain happiness in your mid-30s.

South Node in 3rd house- means that this person not only figures out how to do something in a skilled way, they also know the ins and ends of that skill including where it is most applicable and where it is not. They have an idea of what learning the skill might bring to them. You know how to use words to make them come true and you know how to think wisely. You know how to make the most of every day and do things in the day that come in handy. During the day itself, you never feel that it was wasted, but that you learned something new. The path leads you in different directions and many times you like to be unpredictable and like to do things that are not always the same but different every day. You like various stimulations and things related to thinking.

Venus in 12th house- you can feel love on a subconscious level and you can experience a really dream relationship or a relationship you've dreamed about. You can come across a lot of romantic relationships and relationships that are dreamy. You have a lot of love for creation, music, dance, you enjoy your world. You can become a famous creator. This position also makes you fantasize about your sexual desire; and you will be in search of your dream spouse. Venus in the 12th house means that you might be extremely kind to other people and might be well known in a group of friends. You are likewise exceptionally courageous in your life, and you might make a good career out of it. The marriage might be blissful and loaded with experience and voyaging. Your partner might bring prosperity and luck into your life. You can only achieve success if you put in your efforts and take initiatives along with risks. You will be fond of wine and women, enjoy attending pleasurable parties, exotic tourism, royal extravagant life with high expenses. You should be careful while indulging in water sports or any kind of adventure sports.

South Node in 4th house-you are used to being in your comfort zone and with people you know and get along well with. You like to be around people who give you closeness and the feeling that they take care of you and you feel the best in this energy. You are used to your days being connected with your family and that they are the ones who help you a lot and are there for you every step of the way. When the south node is in the fourth house, authority figures tell you exactly what they expect from you. They don’t really beat around the bush here. Someone with their south node in the fourth house is someone who is quite used to being told what they are meant to do and how they’re supposed to go about it by other people.When they are told what to do, they get very angry about it and they push back as hard as they are able or willing. This can be hard to do if you have a bunch of family members or just people in general who all want you to live your life how they want you to. This can also be hard to do when you suspect that other people want to tell you what to do even in instances when they might not.

Mars in 12th house-you can feel the energy of other people. You are very strong and can handle a lot in life. You can handle many dark things in life. You have many talents related to your energy and body. You can have many secret fans. Even men can be obsessed with you and your energy. Mars in 12th house will make you secretive in nature and suppress your emotions. You can also become a writer as the 12th house brings you an expression to portray your experiences very differently from others. Your appearance may be different from your actual persona and your behaviour will always surprise others. You will travel in foreign lands and explore the world and possibilities. You will constantly travel to foreign lands and gain money. Your subconscious mind will always be active and creative, which will make you productive and achieve success. You will have vivid dreams which can be utilised for creativity.

South Node in 5th house- you are used to living like a child and doing things related to your childhood. You can be very connected to your inner child and feel more intuitive when you are in your child energy. You are used to getting attention from others and always being in the foreground. You proudly show off your talents and hobbies and love to share this page with others. This feels quite comfortable when dealing with the joyful aspects of life. Parties, dancing, art, flirting and casual sex are some of the things he has been practicing a lot during previous lifetimes.Your approach towards life was not so serious, as you preferred to enjoy moments rather than build some concrete life strategy to follow. In addition, with the South Node in the 5th house, the person might like to play with his luck. You might be comfortable with attention and expressing your individuality but could find it difficult to prioritize shared or group-oriented goals.

Jupiter in 12th house-You are very lucky, especially in accidents or some such events. Natives with this placement are naturally inclined toward introspection, healing, and exploring the mysteries of life. They possess a deep sense of empathy, often dedicating their time to charitable work and helping others. Natives with this placement have a natural inclination toward spirituality, meditation, and the pursuit of wisdom. They seek answers to profound questions about life, the universe, and the afterlife. You can heal others with your energy. Jupiter in 12th house blesses you with many opportunities to travel long distances to foreign land that will prove beneficial for you. You will be very spiritual and religious in your attitude and keep yourself occupied in related activities, which will bring joy and satisfaction to you. You may have instances in life when there will be hospital related expenditures for your own self or someone else related to you. You need to take care of your health and be very particular about your diet.

South Node in 6th house- you are used to taking care of others. Maybe since your early years you were a person who did a lot for others and was used to working. You feel quite comfortable when following strict daily routines and is concentrated on labor. You are good at organizing your time, while also pay too much attention to your health. You were probably a workaholic, whose health can have been afflicted due to your stressful everyday reality. You usually grow up in such a way that you are full of responsibilities. You are instructed to become good servants, willing machines for others to use. You learn to sacrifice your time to fulfill various duties, and structure your reality in a repetitive way of patterns. Curiously enough, you can feel comfortable with that role and even not care to change it. Of course, this is exactly what such a person must not do. You karmic challenge is the relinquishment of duties imposed by others, and turning towards self-seeking experiences.

Saturn in 12th house- you can have a lot of karma in this life to process and at the same time you can attract a lot of karmic people, things and situations. Saturn here can be quite stressful at times, because you feel as if you cannot find peace in your subconscious. Maybe you also have rules or limited thoughts about spirituality and things related to it in general. The individual may experience a strong sense of responsibility towards charitable or behind-the-scenes work. You will become ambitious and enjoy success in every department of life. You will be very close to your family and will get all kinds of nourishment and significant support from them. It restricts your peace of mind and increases your quest for spirituality. By age 28 and 30, you will slowly be enlightened and achieve growth in life. You might become one of the most powerful persons by entering politics. Saturn in this position will also make you unravel the mystic truth. You will acquire ancestral properties without obstructions. You will become ambitious and enjoy success in every department of life.

South Node in 7th house- you are used to being in a relationship and you are used to your partner always being with you. Maybe it's hard for you to be alone or imagine living alone. All your life you were surrounded by people and fans and people who adored you and found you beautiful. This can indicate that you have a habit of repeating relationship patterns from the past, which can lead to challenges in respecting your own needs. With that said, many people come to the conclusion that this is a bad placement to have or that these individuals are better off alone. In a past life or earlier in this life, you may have focused on finding balance, harmony, and fulfillment through one-on-one relationships. You may have a tendency to prioritize others, possibly at the expense of your own needs or individuality. You may feel most comfortable when you have someone by your side, which can lead to difficulty asserting your own needs and standing strong independently.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

Part 2 is coming

-Rebekah🦋🧸🪐

[moonshadowmystique]

The Right Person at the Wrong Time - A Reflection on Timing and Connection

All our lives, we have heard stories that involve the right person turning up at the wrong time. This concept is jarringly alarming because it layer-peels the facade of finding the right individual in regard to love, connection, or relationship. This indicates, if explained better, that two people fitting for each other might fail to emerge when the various elements of life are against their coming together.

What does it even mean to meet the right person at the wrong time?

The Complexity in Timing

Timing is an invisible force that shapes the connections we make, often in ways of which we are barely aware. You might meet your dream person, that person who checks all the boxes or sees the world through a filter instituted by your soul. But with you not being emotionally available, probably still recovering from injuries of the past, or perhaps in the middle of some personal crisis, such connection might just not blossom. On the other hand, it could be them who is dealing with troubles at this stage, which means they cannot also be fully present.

This is extra challenging because, by nature of things, there is tension between what we feel and what reality presents. There is almost something tragic in the beauty of having found someone incredible but at the wrong time. You're forced, then, to think that love and connection are about more than logical matches, but two lives crossing at a certain point where access and readiness are aligned.

The 'What If' Paradox

That is the question that will haunt when the right person shows up at the wrong time: What if things were different? It's such a haunting thought, and then you are left to wonder how, in some other world, maybe it would have worked between the two of you. You have a vision of how this might have been the case with another chapter of your life. You could run yourself into sleepless nights with 'what ifs' and yearn for something that may never be resolved.

But harboring such questions in one's mind forever would render living in the present light of day an impossibility. It is very human to reflect on the paths not taken, but living in the country of 'what ifs' blinds you to the new opportunities staring you in the face.

Growth, Timing, and Readiness

It might be that meeting the right person at the wrong time sometimes serves a great purpose. Sometimes such experiences will teach us more about ourselves, or perhaps are a reflection of where we need to grow or what we need to let go of to be truly ready for a meaningful connection in the future. Other times, the person you meet is but a mirror reflecting the work yet to be done on yourself.

That person may remind you that deep love is deserved by you, even if at the time that is not fated to be with them. They may provide a catalyzing agent that impels you to align your life through means that serve to better prepare you in the future for a relationship be it with them or someone else.

Embracing Imperfection

One of the most painful things we may learn is that imperfection meets us around every corner in life, and love is no different. Yes, even when we think we have found that person who fits every category on our ostensibly perfect list, it's not as if the universe necessarily plays a role in ensuring that all that lines up. That's just part of the mystery—and frustration—of being human.

But perhaps, other than cruel fate, that is the profound message: love is not about everything working out perfectly. It means the understanding that connections, no matter the depth, sometimes do not come out with fairy tales. It is about embracing the will-o'-the-wisps, beautiful moments for what they are and not necessarily needing them to last.

Moving Forward with Ease

So, what happens when you are in this situation? There isn't some simple answer to this proposition, nor is a one-size-fits-all solution for anything. Some can hold onto the hope that one day, in the future, the timing shall be right and the stars align. While others let go, realizing that even while a connection was powerful, yet it simply wasn't meant to be a permanent fixture in our lives.

Both are correct. The key is to move with elegance. Life, with all the moments of its unpredictability, is a journey that's really full of twists and turns. That person at the wrong time could have been one chapter in your story, but it need not define the whole narrative. Every experience in life adds to your growth, even the bittersweet ones.

Ultimately, the concept of meeting the right person at the wrong time invites us to consider what love, timing, and self-awareness are all about. It reminds us that not everything is about chemistry but about being prepared—about two people meeting at the crossroads of their journeys in life, ready to take that step together. And sometimes, such journeys are meant to meet only briefly, leaving an indelible mark but no permanent union. In those moments, we can only respectfully acknowledge the bond for what it was and know that each interaction—every human contact—is a part of our development and continues to shape us into who we are and who we will become.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

emotional attachment and distorted perceptions...

although embracing emotions and giving ourselves time to experience them fully is highly necessary, we owe it to ourselves to be responsible, and make sure those same emotions are not blocking our ability to have a clear vision of our lives. this tarot reading is aimed to give you some guidance if you feel like something about the past is still impacting your thoughts negatively.

pile one pile two pile three

images from pinterest and dividers by @pommecita

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

PILE NUMBER ONE

Soon, you will face situations where you are not expected to put your emotions first, as you are now too compromised by ruminating thoughts regarding your past. You need to understand that part of your healing journey involves moving forward when it comes to more material and seemingly superficial notions of success. You must begin allowing yourself to experience the joy simpler things can bring into your life, as they will signify deeper manifestations of emotional and spiritual growth. It is understandable to feel disappointed and disenchanted by apparently mundane things, but you have the mental strength to think more positively about the little things you miss out on enjoying from your daily routine.

It’ll become more noticeable to you that many things have already fallen into place once you get yourself out of toxic thought patterns influenced by emotional scars that you are not allowing to heal properly. Be kinder to yourself and be patient, stop expecting certain things to move faster and enjoy the actual process of healing. Anxiety won’t produce any helpful thoughts, so it’s better to be aware on how those ideas are affecting your wellbeing and sabotaging your growth before allowing them to take so much space.  

PILE NUMBER TWO

Major turning points in your life might be accompanied by long periods of introspection, but it’s also key that you develop better abilities to understand the emotional depth of others around you, especially when dealing with the consequences of other’s impulsive emotional decisions. You might not be taking into consideration that even if you are great at solving problems and creating new ways of dealing with them, other’s are too reliant on your strength, which is making you tired due to rightfully not being willing or able to provide support or company for everyone.

Being someone who is naturally generous and nurturing is amazing, and valuable. But this shouldn’t be taken as a defining characteristic of yours, you don’t owe the same level of care to everyone, even if it’s natural to you, it doesn’t mean that is not affecting you negatively. It is completely normal to want to walk away or to not know how to process absolutely all of your emotions as long as you don’t hurt anyone on the process. Stop allowing yourself to be carried away by the emotional immaturity of others.

PILE NUMBER THREE

During this moment of your life, the independence you might have fought for in the past is not giving you the freedom of choice you expected. This disappointment might get you in an overly defensive state where you are in denial of actually wanting and needing some help, especially when it comes to situations that involve conflictive ways of dealing with them. The need to advance in your life path is heavily influenced by fear of being stuck, instead of ambition to grow further.

Expect your problems to be solved in rather explosive ways soon. Many things in your life will begin to happen in order for you to move past the anxiety of loosing what you already have. You do have control over what happens and how it happens, yet this power won’t manifest unless you become more confident when dealing with mistakes, the ones you made and the ones from others, as it’s not healthy to remain resentful if you are not willing to learn from the experience.  You might not realize it, but any kind of abundance you have in your life, won’t be taken away by others, but will rotten if you are not transcending the fear of loss and abandonment.

[nyuuronfly]

On Rain World lore and it's implementation within the game.

This is kindof a random ramble I went on in a Discord chat and just feel like sharing elsewhere. (also note this is all primarily in reference to the original game, Survivor's story.)

I honestly think too many miss the forest for the trees a bit with RW, in terms of how important the lore is, if that makes sense. I talked with somebody about first-time experiences with the game and they said they'd watched a number of lore explanation videos on YT before starting, because of some reason along the lines of "I didn't trust the game to deliver its own story properly." To me this is almost saddening to hear because I really feel that misses the point of why the game has it's lore to begin with.

To me, while playing, any tidbits i learned about history or other information contributed to a feeling like the world I was navigating had a very real history that saturated it, yet one that I would be unable to grasp fully. It is an illusory feeling of realness, given how it is experienced. The game is mechanically not designed to incentivize collecting many information pearls, especially when in the original game you can literally just drop them off a cliff and lose them forever. You get the feeling often like you are bound to never be able to get everything, nor would you even probably want to put in the effort, so the illusion actually stays stronger because of that. Your mind wanders speculating about every little detail, whether intention truly existed behind it or not, because it feels like it did. You learned that it might have. Maintaining that illusion while playing I think is the primary reason they were included, not actually the experience of "knowing" the history. Rain World in general seems to have a thematic fixation on the simple idea that individuals have limited perspectives. Joar Jakobsson has said that one of the core ideas behind Rain World was to recreate the life of a "rat in Manhattan." That is to say, a creature that understands how to find food, hide, and live in a complex man-made structure, that cannot understand it's structuring purpose or why it was built. The very core issue of the iterators, is that the solution to the "great problem" intrinsically has to lie with knowledge that could only be obtained from "the other side." They are corporeal beings trying to know something that pertains to something outside corporeal reality. Yet pursuit of knowledge is very important to creatures like ourselves. Collecting any individual pearl is mostly an exercise in doing a lot just for little bits of knowledge. There is a lot of understanding of just how significant wanting to know more is, even something unimportant, when you are left in the dark the way you are in the game. Most information pearls you deliver are literally completely useless to know about, but they feel personally important, especially in how finding them relates to your connection to the iterators. My primary motivation to find pearls in my first play was to spend more time with Moon. On a very real emotional level, Moon felt like my only friend in the world while I played. On a mechanical level, she does literally nothing. But Rain World manages to operate on a very emotional, even instinctual level with how it's designed. I wanted to be in her company and have something to give her. Because I am alone, and lost. So something along those lines is why I felt saddened to hear the sentiment like Rain World somehow "fails" to deliver it's "story." The purpose of the game is not to find pearls and hear about some grand narrative. At it's core, Rain World is a game that's design was inspired by nature, and it's use of history within the world relates to us as a player the way history relates to us as people. It is relayed through people reading from records created by parties with their own perspectives, and connects us abstractly to a sensation that there is more out there than our own lives. That is a feeling you have as a player, and ultimately the true story that Rain World tells is the memories you have playing it. What you did, saw, and felt. The same as how our story is that of our own lives. That is the purpose of the game.

[magic-astro-fae]

Signs in the Houses Notes

Aries: The house where Aries is found will contain a lot of energy, this area needs to be asserted in order to feel respected in our independence. This is a very independent area, typically opinions/ advice regarding this house will not be taken lightly, a very personal area

Taurus: The house where Taurus lies will be slow to expression, strong foundations will need to be built in order to express the themes fully. There could be apprehension/ stubbornness in regards to change in this area. Advice/ opinions of these themes are typically not immediately honored

Gemini: The house where Gemini lies will contain a lot of mental stimulation, change and diversity are seen here. There could be a need to gain knowledge of this house and its themes through social interactions. Communicating w differing communities/ people give light to this area

Cancer: The house where Cancer lies is one in which is protected, not an area to be taken advantage of. This house will have emotional undertones as to why there is a need to protect these themes, typically connected to the mother figure and upbringing. This area will reveal anxieties/ insecurities only trusted to those we deeply love

Leo: The house where Leo lies is crucial to personal fulfillment. The themes found here will give insight to what will bring most joy and independence. These themes could connect us to our inner child and in turn can reveal/ heal past traumas. This area is that of light and warmth needed to be shared and fully expressed

Virgo: The house where Virgo lies will be that of perfectionism, there maybe a need to show these qualities in their purest form. This house could show themes in which we are careful to express to ensure they are done correctly. Great care, mindfulness and patience is needed in order to fully express itself

Libra: The house in which Libra is found will require a level of balance and fairness. An even flow of energy is needed here, imbalance can cause irritation/ anxiety. If the energy is not evenly returned the house themes will drain us instead of fulfill us. This area can show what we expect out of our relationships

Scorpio: The house where Scorpio is found will cause paranoia, its themes may feel out of our control and therefore are repressed/ cause fear in expression. This area can expose themes in which we are aware of but choose not to express. Deep emotional connections are needed in order to fully express the themes of the house

Sagittarius: The house where Sagittarius is found could expose our strong opinions and where we feel the need to assert our self expression. This area can show themes that interest us and bring fulfillment to gain knowledge in. There is a need to try a little bit of everything to understand the house themes fully

Capricorn: The house where Capricorn is found is one where development is extremely slow and arduous. Inherent challenges are found in these house themes, typically rooted in childhood and how we relate to authority/ maturity. This area can expose great strengths found later in life when well balanced

Aquarius: The house where Aquarius is found will behave differently than what it is expected to. The house themes will need to be expressed in an extremely unique way. This house can show where we should be constantly innovating ourselves. Self awareness lies in this house and should be well balanced in order to fulfill the house’s expression

Pisces: The house where Pisces is found is one of confusion and dissolution. This area could be a tough one to pin down, something extremely personal, perhaps spiritual. There could be a feeling of disconnectedness in the themes of this house. Isolation/ meditation could better fulfill the house themes

[carionto]

Do you think aliens would be weirded or freaked out that when we're tickled, it's actually a pain response but laughter (sometimes anger) is the only way we can deal with it? Or that tickling is even a thing?

That startling repeated noise.

Humans often make it, particularly when with other Humans. They say it's generally a reaction to positive emotional and unexpected physical stimulation in certain parts of their bodies. It is quite... disturbing sometimes.

Once a Human asked me to "tickle" them, saying my slender feathery limbs would be a fantastic sensation to experience. They raised their arms up and exposed their bare skin and said: "Go for the sides. My ribs are extra sensitive to that." Hesitantly, I complied.

Upon the lightest touch, they screamed louder than I had ever heard anyone do. It was mortifying, like the death-wail of a raging beast. I instinctively snapped back and my feet jolted me 10 meters away in a second.

The Human kept making this noise for a brief moment, then asked me to come back and continue, saying: "Oh man, I've never felt anything that gently peculiar. It's like a hundred feathers all in one place caressing each individual nerve ending. It's okay, us Humans love laughing like this, it's great."

Despite my initial shock and discomfort at the noise, I decided to comply and "tickle" the Human for a few minutes. It was a rather grueling experience to be honest, but after a short while, seeing more of what their "joy" looks like, I grew accustomed to the noise. Just a little.

"Whoo, damn, that actually tired me out. Haven't had a good laugh like that in a while, thanks for humoring me." The Human said while looking exhausted and catching their breath. I have never seen a Human on this station be physically tired before, even when they run and jump around and recklessly endanger their lives. But a light touch, I barely even had to move, and the Human was all but incapacitated.

"Hey, could you do me a favor? When you go back to your department, give one of the people there a tickle, someone who looks all gloomy or is often complaining about something. They could use a laugh. It won't be as effective through clothing, but trust me, they'll thank you for it. And if they don't just tell them I told you to do it, it'll be fine."

That last phrase raised alarm bells, but the reassurance and how much fun they seemed to have convinced me to accept their request. After all, it is a good thing to spread joy and happiness, so if this is one way I can help out Humans, then I should.

Big mistake.

When I got back and noticed one Human who fit the description, I approached them from behind and tickled the back of their neck, as I was told that is another sensitive spot.

They screamed, turned around and slapped my arm out of the way faster than I could retract it.

The bone is still healing, doctors said it would take a month for all the fractures to fully reconnect and harden, but the nerve connection to my seventh finger was so badly damaged I would never be able to fully extend it again.

I was visited by both Humans who I had "tickled" and the first was in a very apologetic and defeated mood. The other spoke: "I apologize for breaking your arm. I did not mean to. Tickling is one of those things we don't fully understand about ourselves, but it isn't just about having fun and being entertained." This was pointed more to the first Human.

"It's an automatic response, most Humans feel ticklish like this one here, but some, like me, find it painful and our response to external stimuli towards sensitive parts of our bodies is to protect them fiercely, like you had the misfortune of experience for yourself."

"I'll speak to the administration and have them include this in the guidelines for interacting with us Humans. And," turning directly towards the first Human now: "I'll have them include a section for Humans about not teaching our Alien friends to play children's tricks on us." They turned back to me. "Get well soon, and again, sorry about this mess."

[end-otw-racism]

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Read our Call to Action first, then come here if you have additional questions!

Vote To End OTW Racism FAQ

Why Voting?

We feel the current Board of Directors has demonstrated little urgency on dealing with issues of racism on their platform. Additionally, over the course of the last few weeks, a variety of accounts have come forth showing fundamental, institutional and structural issues with OTW as it currently stands. With 4 of the 7 current board positions up for election, we feel that now is a key time to push for a board that is willing to address and tackle the issues OTW and AO3 are currently facing. 

Why are you encouraging donations to an org you are trying to change?

The only way to be able to vote is to donate. Like many nonprofits, OTW uses a membership fee to ensure that each member is a distinct individual with one vote. In order to do this, the OTW requires their supporters to make a minimum donation of $10 US. We do not feel that anyone should feel compelled to donate. However, there are many people who have already donated who may not know that donation entitles them to voting!

Can we donate on behalf of other users so they can vote as well?

Unfortunately this is not possible under OTW’s current system. You cannot create a membership for anyone but yourself. This system protects OTW elections from sabotage by outside parties. 

Do we have to give money?

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What is the point of changing Pseuds?

We want everyone, including those who cannot or do not create fanworks, to have a way to show their support and be engaged in this movement. Creating a Pseud is a great way of showing support and reminding people that voting season is upon us – it makes our action visible in comments and kudos and can be done by anyone with an account. After the action, the Pseud can be deleted and all comments/kudos made will revert back to the main account. 

Should we change the names of old fanworks for this action to Vote to End OTW Racism?

You don’t need to, but are welcome to change any and all fic titles to join in the action and our collection at any time. The primary goal of this action is to be a constant reminder to AO3 usership that it is voting season and they should vote if they can, which is why we’re focusing on name-changing new works between now and the end of elections – so that the reminder can be front and center regularly on various fandom and tag pages. (We can’t put a banner at the top of every AO3 page to encourage voting, so this is our next best tactic.)

General FAQ

Who are you people? Who's running this initiative?

Given that virulent harassment for speaking out about fandom racism is one of the things we're attempting to fight, it should be understandable that we don't want to make targets of ourselves by revealing our names/handles. We believe that our message and this movement is more important than our individual identities, and ask that you respect that by not engaging in baseless and inflammatory speculation.

The core organizers of this initial action are all longtime fans and users of AO3, including both people of color and white folks, who have been in fandom for decades. We are NOT "outsiders"! Our perspective and work on antiracism in fandom has also been developed in collaboration with a diverse range of fans older and younger than us, from many different fandoms and backgrounds. We are grateful for those connections, and are inspired by those who have been tirelessly fighting racism in fandom over time. We are all sick of seeing the same kinds of racism crop up in fanspaces year after year, in fandom after fandom. We want to see fandom's flagship project do something to make fandom more inclusive and safe for fans of color. We welcome participation and input from all fans who want to fight racism as we move forward. Fill out this form or contact our socials to get involved beyond this first action!

Are you pro-shippers or antis?

Neither. This is not about shipping discourse, it is about racism and harassment, full stop.

Is this about dark or "problematic" content?

Is this about policing kinks &/or queer content?

Is this about top/bottom discourse?

No. This is about racism and abuse/harassment. We are in favor of kinky, queer, and dark content (and many of us have created and enjoyed fanworks that falls under those umbrellas). If you consider extremely racist content to be a kink essential to your identity as a fan, then we can't help you.

Why aren't you focused on underage/incestuous/dark/etc content? Isn't that also a problem?

Bigotry is a different issue from content that fans may find uncomfortable or even triggering in other ways. Please don't derail this focused campaign by bringing other topics into the mix.

Is this about monetizing fanworks on AO3? Is this about making the AO3 palatable to advertisers?

No. We support AO3's rule against openly/directly monetizing fanworks hosted on its platform, and its commitment to being totally fan-funded and free from advertising revenue (and the fickle, proscriptive demands of outside interests like major corporations and other advertisers). Fanspace should be for fandom, not credit card companies or tech conglomerates to profit from.

What kind of work do you mean when you say "extremely racist and extremely abusive"?

We understand that people might be concerned that we're opening the door to broad censorship of work on AO3, but that's not our goal. Our concern is with racist fan works written for the purpose of making the fan site unwelcoming to fans of color. We haven't directly linked to current examples here because we don't want to invite harassment of individuals. However, we do hope that the OTW/AO3 takes a long hard look at their Terms of Service (TOS) and brings it in line with current/progressive antiracist content. Currently, AO3 only considers something harassment if it targets a specific individual - and even then, they have often refused to take action on harassment like authors using racial slurs in replies to comments, or tagging a scholar of color's full name in a fic to incite harassment of them for speaking out about racism. We believe that harassment against a racial/ethnic group should be considered harassment under AO3's TOS and Abuse policies. How AO3 handles offending works until these proposed changes would be up to AO3 to decide. Avenues for progress may involve discouraging such works, de-listing such works from search results, or prohibiting them all together, depending on severity. We are also in favor of the organization establishing reasonable guardrails or guidelines so that the new TOS/policies are less likely to be abused or otherwise used maliciously.

Who gets to decide what content is "extremely racist and extremely abusive"?

Ideally, the OTW will update their TOS and Abuse policies and procedures to define these terms, and they will ultimately determine how to implement these changes. We're not asking for them to hire a bunch of prudish strangers to comb through every work AO3 in order to mass-delete anything remotely objectionable, but for the OTW to implement common-sense measures to make the AO3 and the organization more inclusive. They've already committed to similar measures, so we're just asking for concrete action to back up their vague promises. This approach to racist harassment is in line with their existing policies that prohibit certain kinds of content, such as their policy on plagiarism that takes a case-by-case approach to determining what is and isn't plagiarism. We're just asking that they expand those policies and practices to include extreme forms of racism & harassment.

What do you mean by "off-site harassment"?

Answered here.

Do you want to remove content from the Archive?

Our primary goal is for the OTW to follow up on the promises it's already made to protect fans of color and other people who have been harassed, but in more concrete ways than they've done thus far. This does involve reviewing the TOS and Abuse policies and procedures to add protections for people facing racist harassment. Like with any other violation of the TOS, such as failure to use the archive warnings properly or plagiarism, this may result in creators receiving warnings about their works that are in violation of the new harassment policies. However, the end goal is not censorship, but an Archive that is more inclusive for fans of color and which minimizes harassment and abuse.

When do you expect AO3 to solve these problems?

We're hoping (in an ideal world) that they will respond within the recommended two-week timeframe of our action (which ends May 31st) by putting out a statement committing to our requests. We understand that a large organization like this run by volunteers needs time to actually implement those changes, but OTW has been working on these policies for three years already. With that pre-existing work, our demands can be feasibly implemented within six months to a year at the latest, and a commitment to change – and sharing a concrete, expedited timeline – can happen immediately. The exact timeline is up to the OTW, and we hope they will be fully transparent about both that and any delays they may encounter. We don't want this to be a rehash of their previous commitments, where they keep kicking the can down the road indefinitely: we want them to make a concrete plan and stick to their promises. The OTW has in fact acted quickly on policies when they feel urgency to do so - their implementation of a tag limit happened within months! - so we know it's possible. After the current action window closes, we'll still need your help to keep an eye on the org and make sure they fulfill their promises. Fill out this form if you're interested in helping long-term!

Why are you doing this? Why aren't you focusing on real racism in the real world?

Fandom racism is real racism. Fandom is not an utopian bubble insulated away from the real world – if we're not careful, we bring our parent cultures' biases and bigotries into this space, and fandom racism has a real impact on fans (who are real people). People of color, especially Black fans, have been harassed, doxxed, had their actual jobs threatened, and even reported to law enforcement for talking about these problems. Fans of color deserve for fandom to be just as safe and welcoming and inclusive for them as it is for white fans privileged enough to ignore these issues. And racism should be fought everywhere so it has no place to hide or fester - remember Gamergate and how the bigotry in that space metastasized into American politics? Don't let fandom have the same issues.

[edited 06-16-2023 for Action 2]

[imparrot]

High key love everything about 'humans are space orcs' posts because they are celebrations of human-ness and I really think that's special

[lyrenminth]

What we could be

Second part of the request about Joe and you getting divorce

Happy ending, second chance

I'm going to send the kids with my mom on Saturday. Would you like to go out and eat something or we stay at the house?"

Truthful to his word, Joe sent you a text. You didn't know what to answer, going out implied many things and you didn't want to be seen with him (harsh but true) but being surrounded by people made you more confident than being alone at his house. You didn't want to think what would happen if you were alone at his house.

"There's a coffee place we could talk privately. Saturday at noon" you answer back.

"Perfect!"

When Saturday came, you were so nervous you messed up your eyeliner twice. You remembered his words. "I never wanted a divorce" Was that really true? You never thought Joe was putting any effort into your relationship after Mackenzie was born. Everything was football and winning. You really try to talk to him, you really did and he wouldn't clear a damn space in his agenda for you.

You sighed, looking at your reflection in the mirror. You remembered the way Joe look at you when Julian mentioned the date.

Would you go back with Joe if he asked?

You didn't know. You loved him, he was the dad of your children but you were so scared. You didn't wanted to get hurt again.

When you arrived at the coffee, Joe was already there. He smiled fondly and stood up to kiss your cheek. Your hands were sweaty when you took your seat. "Should we order something?" He said looking at the menu. "I'm going to order an iced coffee" he stood up before you to set your order on the counter. You watch him interact with the employee, and you felt a pang in your chest. He was lovely, really polite. He would order your coffee like this many times before. Nostalgia hit you like a truck, but you weren't here to remind the sweet times.

When he came back you said a shy thank you and waited for him to sit down. "Well, thanks for coming" he smiled again. "Julian has the same smile at you" you pointed out. His smile grew bigger. "Yeah, the boys told me"

"Well, yes" you gulped, sipping your coffee.

He ran his hands through his hair, one, two, three times. Good to know you weren't the only nervous.

"I mean it. What I said in the house" he said, his eyes big and honest "I'm sorry I've never considered your feelings. I guess being a father made me realize the big responsibility I was carrying, but I completely forgot to be a husband" when you didn't say a word, he continue "I thought that by working more, earning more money would protect my family" he was sad "I never thought it would be the reason of losing it"

"Joe, this is not about the kids. I think you're a great father, and they loved you. This is about us" you sighed, tired of having this conversation "We forgot about ourselves. I tried to arrange dates you didn't show up. We had conversations like this before, I missed my husband and you weren't there so tell me" you voice filled with emotions made you stop for a second "...tell me why I should believe you"

"I-I still love you, Y/N" he confessed, staring at your soul "I want to share a bed, a house or a damn mug with you. No one else. You are the mother of my children and I still care about you "

"You didn't hook up with that reporter a month after our divorce?" you brought up. He pressed his lips and have the decency to look ashamed. "I was hurt, but yeah"

"Well, it was long ago" you realize after the divorce Joe went blank about his personal life. No one knew if he was having dates. It was hard to believe if he didn't.

"I understand if you're afraid, I'm very honest and very clear right now, I want a second chance" he declared, fully confident.

"Joe..." you pleaded, but looking at him felt so familiar. What would happen if you didn't divorce? Your family would be closer, children wouldn't be stressed but maybe you would be miserable, right? You loved him, you still do. Joe had all the respect and admiration on your side, but again you never felt the same support. "I love you, you're a great father but you haven't show me any different"

"Give me a second chance please" his hand looked for yours over the table, and when you felt it so warm and big around yours, your mind was in completely silence. You haven't touch Joe in three years. He was the love of your life, and yet...you were so scared.

At your hesitation, he confessed "I'm sorry to made you feel lonely, I regret it completely. I'm not going to talk about my wishes anymore. And I understand if you say no" he took a deep breath before saying "I'll retire this year"

The new made you flinch in surprise. "What? No? Are you joking?"

"No, I'm not joking. After the divorce I realize many things" he sounded honest.

"But you loved football!"

"Yes, but my body is asking for a rest. And football is not my family, doesn't make me cookies and hug me tight everytime they see me" you were crying at that point. If that's true, things could be so different. "I want you back. You're my wife, I made those vows for you. I love you"

"Okay"

"Do you give me a second chance?" he was grinning full of hope.

"Yes"

"You won't regret it, I promise"

[sanjis-moulinrouge]

Private Dance

Sanji x Reader | +18 | Smut

Summary: Reader & Sanji share a romantic and intimate moment while dancing.

a/n: This is the first ff I share, so please be kind. The idea came after listening to a jazzy record.

As we reached the island, there was a pirate-filled bar. Luffy, Chopper and Usopp went immediately for food, while Zoro just escorted and observed behind the three of them. Nami was so excited that she went to walk around to find some ways to gamble or to make more money. 

“Sanji-kun, take care of y/n, please?” she asked while disappearing into the crowd. 

“Ah, Nami… I- just…” 

“Don’t worry, y/n. I’ll take good care of you” he said softly. I just nodded a bit embarrassed. I was impressed by how huge the place was. There were five floors with different lighting adorned with colorful ornaments and handicrafts from different parts of the world, same with food. There were exotic dishes, the cook tried to take a look at the dishes and the large menus displayed. 

“Ahh, this place is cheerful, y/n. Would you like to go for a walk?” he suggested while he lit a cigarette. “Your curious eyes don’t lie, honey.” He had the sweetest voice, so I didn’t refuse, at the end it felt great to spend more time with him.

We went over the four floors, and while Sanji was talking to an old waiter about a dish, I could see the crew, except for Nami, on the second floor ordering food and laughing, the lighting there resembled their friendly mood, it looked warm. Nami was on the third floor sitting next to a group of men with poker cards in her hands, she was immersed in it.

I could tell that the fifth floor caught Sanji’s attention, his eyes were fixed on the blue figures and tones that came from that place. Darling, would you mind going upstairs one more time? he asked shyly. 

When we got there, there weren't as many pirates as I expected and the place looked quiet, the music in the background was soothing, it was definitely a place to rest. I walked over to where the music was and sat at a small table near the speaker. Suddenly, Sanji's gaze met mine. “Here you are, sweety.” He got closer and sat in front of me. “Sanji, I’d like to order something here, they have a dish I haven't eaten in a long time.” He smiled, “let’s eat what you wish. This is a moment for ourselves.” It was hard to understand what he meant, but I assumed he was being kind as he usually was with any lady. He looked so charming with the blue lights reflecting in his intense eyes.

The dinner felt intimate and calm, he told me about his dreams and how that place reminded him of imaginary memories about the All Blue during his childhood. I lost the notion of time, his voice and his manners made me forget about my own worries.

“Such lovely music, would you like to dance, y/n?” I wasn’t prepared for that, but since I love to dance I went for it without hesitation. Sanji held my hand gently and placed the other on my waist. I tried to avoid looking at him in the eyes because my heart suddenly started beating fast. “Are you alright, y/n?” he asked. “Y- yes” I smiled blushing.

I felt suffocated in the romantic atmosphere. It was late and the only people there were the waiters who were sitting in a corner almost falling asleep. “It’s late Sanji, maybe we should go back with the crew.”

He pressed his tense body against mine as we swayed to the music. “Relax y/n, we're just getting started”. His voice was inviting. I put both arms on his shoulder to fully embrace him. He leaned his head to reach my neck, his heavy and warm breathing made my whole body shiver. He kissed my neck delicately. “Your smell is so nice, dear”, he whispered. As he hugged me, he started caressing my back. He grabbed me tight, “please, let’s continue y/n. I don’t want this to end” he confessed. He looked at me, we kissed slowly and then passionately. His slightly trembling lips brought instant pleasure, a bittersweet mixture of nicotine and red wine we early tried. 

“I wanted to do this a long time ago, y/n. You’re astonishing, sweetheart”, he squeezed his body against mine, making me moan a little against his mouth as we closed the distance again. As we swayed, something hard began to press against my lower stomach. I couldn’t help but kiss his neck. “y/n, I c-could dance with you all night. Don’t stop baby, nobody is going to interrupt us”, he murmured while breathing heavier with any passing second.

I could feel a warmth forming from both of us. I wanted to devour him, we were so tight that he started to rub his growing erection against my abdomen, while a delightful moan escaped his lips. “A-ahh, y/n. You’re so good. I-I love you”, he frowned at pleasure and all the other arousal expressions on his face were hard to handle, even his hair was a total mess. Looking at him in that state made me feel weak, he was as intoxicated with desire as I was.  

“Mm-m, I don’t think I can contain this any longer, I need to feel your skin, to feel you from the inside” he revealed as he thrusted his hips hard, “would you mind if we find a place here to continue a private dance, love?.”

[betterbemeta]

Non-Bullshit Self-Affirmation Exercise

I'm nobody's therapist and I shouldn't be. But the world we're in is mentally damaging. Any world would be to some extent, and I understand different people have different experiences of the world. But whoever you are I think we can agree most environments we're in don't promote a good relationship with 'the self.'

I can't say 'you should like who you are' or 'you should think you have all these great virtues.' That isn't up to me. But whether you already 'like yourself' or 'are building yourself' or 'want to like a future self more' you can't do that easily if 'who you currently are' is passively eroded without relief.

And this can happen a lot of ways I think. Our responsibilities (school, job, etc.) don't value our authentic experiences but instead our 'performance' within a system. Our bodily needs and logistical realities can frame the practical steps to our care like a burden for ourselves or for others. We are constantly assaulted with external appeals to desire that disrespect our own effort to navigate those desires ourselves. And so much stuff can feel 'more important than ourselves' like, why is it relevant you're a person when immense choices jeopardize the future and the lives of collective humanity???

A lot of talk about 'self-care' is bastardized into like... 'giving yourself special treats' which often can tie in to a highly consumerist culture or self-destructive habits. And 'special treats' may feel irresponsible or like a waste of time in the face of our practical human problems. But the important part is not actually the 'treat', but that the context of the treat is yours. This is YOUR unique treat, that represents you, showing up for you.

And looking at yourself can feel embarrassing. But it's not a coincidence that the 'least cringe' position, least vulnerable position, is to erase yourself. But you're not superficial. And stating 'yourself' is not egotistical. It's the foundation for everything else that matters, and could matter about you to another person.

So like. Some self-affirmations. Not the type that's like, "I'm brave, I'm smart, I'm good, I'm worthy, I'm flexible," etc. I mean:

My favorite color is...

My favorite food is...

I remember a time when I felt, 'wow'...

When I speak, I am [loud, soft, wordy, brief, etc.]...

I am interested in...

People who are [X] inspire me...

I wish I was more...

I wish I was less...

When people meet me, I want them to feel...

My favorite animal is...

I like to spend a free afternoon doing...

I like my spaces to be...

The smell of [x] reminds me of...

When I daydream, the story is usually this type...

I think about these on-purpose maybe once a week.

Affirmations like these may seem childish, basic, frivolous compared to building 'successful habits' and routines. And those are useful, but they can only keep you moving forward through a harsh environment; relying fully on 'discipline' to carry on will put you on paths where an external default is affirmed and your authenticity will be overwritten.

Whether you are trying to become more confident, or trying to work on your self awareness, trying to 'hang in there,' trying to reconcile who you have to be at different parts of your life, trying to unblock your creativity, or if you're entering a new part of your life... even if you think you have yourself all figured out, I believe purposefully sitting down to think about these things will help you.