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esotericalchemist · 17 days ago

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𝐀𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐚 - 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 ❁

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The atmakaraka represents the soul’s deepest purpose in this life. Unlike other planets, which shape personality and circumstances, the atmakaraka reveals our core karmic lessons. By examining its rulership for each rising sign, we see how the soul’s path is uniquely expressed through specific areas of life, inviting us to grow and transform. This exploration allows us to understand the qualities we are here to embody, guiding us toward greater fulfillment and spiritual alignment.

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𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

With the Sun as atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is to live with unwavering integrity and inspire others through authentic expression. The Sun rules your 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and purva punya (past-life merit), revealing that your life path often involves teaching or guiding others with wisdom. The soul longs for experiences that help rekindle past-life skills, whether in leadership, the arts, or spirituality. Morning offerings to the Sun, such as water or Surya namaskar, strengthen this inner light, helping you lead with a balanced, benevolent authority.

Moon Atmakaraka:

When the Moon is the atmakaraka, your soul seeks emotional fulfillment and inner stability. Ruling the 4th house of home, roots, and mental peace, this Moon placement calls you to harmonize past family karma and create nurturing environments wherever you go. The soul yearns for genuine emotional connections, yet as an Aries rising, you are challenged to cultivate peace within a dynamic life. Rituals that honor the feminine, like offering milk to the Moon on Mondays, bring balance, helping to calm inner turbulence and deepen your connection to the heart.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Aries rising intensifies the soul’s desire for self-mastery. Ruling both the 1st and 8th houses, this journey is about courageously embracing transformation and self-discovery. Your soul has chosen a path of intense personal growth, often catalyzed by challenges that require inner strength and resilience. Mars’ warrior energy benefits from focused discipline—practices like hanuman puja or physical routines deepen your connection to this transformative journey, allowing you to transmute obstacles into spiritual growth.

Mercury Atmakaraka

With Mercury as the atmakaraka, your soul’s purpose revolves around communication, adaptability, and service. Ruling the 3rd house of skills and the 6th house of daily work, Mercury urges you to refine intellect and speech as tools of healing. You are called to use knowledge for service, often facing challenges that hone your analytical skills and discernment. Mercury’s blessings grow through mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha) and by dedicating your learning to a higher purpose, supporting your path of balance and insightful service.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as atmakaraka, your soul is drawn to wisdom, spirituality, and compassionate growth. Ruling the 9th house of dharma and the 12th house of liberation, Jupiter’s path involves seeking higher truths, often through spiritual study, travel, or solitude. As an Aries rising, your soul feels compelled to harmonize worldly and spiritual responsibilities. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or offering prayers to Lord Vishnu can align you with Jupiter’s energy, guiding you to balance knowledge with compassionate action.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus serves as the atmakaraka, the soul seeks to learn about harmony, love, and material values on a deeper level. Venus rules the 2nd house of wealth and family as well as the 7th house of partnerships, showing a karmic journey rooted in balancing independence with meaningful connections. Aries rising may initially find relationships and values challenging, but Venus’s path calls for cultivating refinement, loyalty, and harmony. Offer white flowers to Venus on Fridays, or meditate near nature to develop a peaceful approach to wealth and relationships.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is one of discipline, patience, and building lasting foundations. Saturn rules the 10th house of career and the 11th house of ambitions, indicating a karmic path where career, community, and responsibility are deeply significant. Aries rising with Saturn atmakaraka may face professional challenges early on, but these are soul-level lessons in resilience. Honoring Saturn through fasting or dedicating Saturdays to spiritual work strengthens your journey, bringing stability and long-term fulfillment in your contributions to society.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, your soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and guiding others through wisdom. For Taurus rising, the Sun rules the 4th house of home, emotional roots, and inner security, suggesting a soul purpose centered on creating a legacy of nurturing and guidance. You may find that true contentment comes from balancing authority with compassion, creating a lasting foundation for others to thrive. Regular offerings to the Sun or practicing daily gratitude can help align you with this radiant path, illuminating the inner strength that supports both your life and the lives of others.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, your soul journey is one of intuitive connection and expressive wisdom. The Moon rules your 3rd house, the realm of communication, siblings, and courage, highlighting a karmic calling to connect with others through nurturing words and actions. This path asks you to cultivate an emotional resilience that lets you inspire others through both compassion and bold expression. Engage in practices that align with the Moon’s natural rhythm, such as connecting with nature or observing the lunar cycles, to enhance intuition and deepen your influence as a messenger of empathy.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Taurus rising indicates a soul mission shaped by courage, self-sacrifice, and partnership. Mars rules your 7th house of relationships and the 12th house of spirituality and release, highlighting a karmic need to balance personal power with selfless devotion. Your soul finds growth in standing firmly for others, even in challenging circumstances, and may also seek wisdom through letting go. Strengthening your connection to Mars through structured practices, such as physical discipline or honoring Tuesdays, brings greater mastery to your path of grounded strength and compassion in relationships.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, your soul’s purpose centers on intellect, values, and creative expression. Ruling the 2nd house of wealth and speech and the 5th house of creativity and intelligence, Mercury here emphasizes a karmic focus on refining communication, especially around family values or artistic pursuits. Taurus rising with Mercury atmakaraka may be drawn to professions or hobbies that use words and ideas to uplift others, such as writing, teaching, or even guiding family affairs. Meditating on Mercury’s mantras and exploring meaningful study enrich your voice and align you with this path of skillful service.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

Jupiter as atmakaraka invites a soul journey of wisdom, transformation, and compassionate expansion. For Taurus rising, Jupiter rules the 8th house of transformation and the 11th house of community and aspirations, suggesting a karmic purpose that draws you into the mysteries of life and calls for service in larger circles. Growth often arises through profound changes or spiritual inquiry, but there is a powerful drive to connect and share wisdom with others. Honoring Jupiter with charitable acts, offering prayers, or studying sacred teachings supports your path, guiding you toward fulfilling dharma through expansive yet grounded connections.

Venus Atmakaraka:

With Venus as atmakaraka, your soul’s mission revolves around cultivating beauty, balance, and refined values. Venus rules both the 1st house (self) and the 6th house (service and health), indicating a soul path deeply rooted in creating harmony, especially within yourself and through service. Taurus rising with Venus atmakaraka often feels fulfilled through artistic pursuits, nurturing environments, or healing work. This path calls you to embody love and grace, both in self-care and in service to others. Strengthening your connection to Venus through Friday rituals, meditation, or creativity brings you closer to the wisdom of peaceful balance.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, your soul is committed to responsibility, patience, and mastering the balance between personal and societal obligations. Saturn rules the 9th house of higher knowledge and the 10th house of career for Taurus rising, showing a karmic path where career, discipline, and wisdom converge. You may find that true growth arises from embracing limitations, working persistently toward long-term goals, and honoring the wisdom of tradition. Saturn’s energy strengthens through regular discipline, as well as through offering service on Saturdays, guiding you to embody resilience and create a lasting impact.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is to radiate inner truth and serve as a beacon of clarity and vision. For Gemini rising, the Sun rules the 3rd house of communication, courage, and siblings, suggesting a soul mission centered on using your voice and creative expression to inspire others. This placement may bring a natural magnetism, drawing you toward teaching, leading, or guiding through your words. Practices that honor the Sun—such as offering water at dawn or chanting Surya mantras—can deepen your connection to this radiant path, helping you align with a life of authentic expression and purpose.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul seeks emotional wisdom and connection to family and values. For Gemini rising, the Moon rules the 2nd house of wealth, speech, and family, emphasizing a karmic journey of building stability and emotional fulfillment through nurturing relationships. This placement often brings deep-seated needs for security and belonging, and growth comes through refining your values and creating harmonious connections. Connecting with the Moon’s energy through observing lunar cycles, practicing gratitude, and honoring family lineage helps anchor you, making this journey of emotional depth fulfilling.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Gemini rising indicates a soul mission centered on resilience, service, and determination. Mars rules the 6th house of work and the 11th house of aspirations, suggesting a path that involves both personal ambition and social influence. The soul seeks growth by tackling obstacles head-on and developing discipline, especially in competitive or service-oriented environments. Aligning with Mars’ energy through regular physical activity, meditation, or honoring Mars on Tuesdays enhances your courage and sense of purpose, empowering you to channel your willpower into meaningful contributions to society.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is a dance of intellect, adaptability, and seeking inner harmony. Mercury rules both the 1st house of self and the 4th house of inner peace and home, giving Gemini rising a karmic purpose focused on understanding the self and creating stability within. This atmakaraka placement often brings a powerful need to express ideas and cultivate knowledge, especially in ways that contribute to one’s personal and family life. Mantras for Mercury (Om Budhaya Namaha) and regular learning or writing practices enhance Mercury’s gifts, aligning you with a path of insightful and fulfilling communication.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul journey is one of wisdom, generosity, and uplifting others. Jupiter rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 10th house of career, showing a karmic path that merges personal and professional aspirations with higher knowledge. Growth often comes through relationships that expand your worldview, and through roles that allow you to guide or mentor others. Honoring Jupiter through charitable acts, gratitude, or studying spiritual teachings deepens your connection to this path, fostering wisdom and purpose within both work and partnership.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves love, harmony, and a desire to refine aesthetic or spiritual values. Venus rules the 5th house of creativity and the 12th house of surrender, indicating a karmic path of cultivating beauty, compassion, and even mystical connection. Gemini rising with Venus atmakaraka may find fulfillment in creative or spiritual practices that allow you to express and refine your inner vision. Rituals for Venus, such as honoring nature or creating beauty through art, help deepen your connection to this path, aligning you with an enriched life of loving wisdom.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

Saturn as atmakaraka for Gemini rising emphasizes a soul journey of discipline, endurance, and wisdom through transformation. Ruling the 8th house of hidden knowledge and the 9th house of higher learning, Saturn highlights a karmic path where growth is achieved through confronting life’s deeper mysteries and responsibilities. This placement often brings challenges that demand patience and resilience, yet these experiences become stepping stones toward profound insight. Saturn’s guidance strengthens with regular meditation, self-discipline, and honoring Saturn on Saturdays, allowing you to gain wisdom and maturity on this path of slow yet transformative growth.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, your soul seeks a journey of self-discovery and strength through cultivating inner light and values. For Cancer rising, the Sun rules the 2nd house of family, wealth, and personal values, suggesting a soul mission that revolves around building a stable foundation, both materially and morally. There is often a karmic focus on establishing self-worth and embracing leadership within family or community. Practicing daily gratitude, offering water to the Sun, and connecting with your core values helps you align with this path of radiant self-fulfillment.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around deep emotional understanding and self-nurturing. The Moon rules the 1st house of self and identity, highlighting a karmic journey in which personal growth comes through self-compassion and empathy. As a Cancer rising, your soul’s purpose is to cultivate emotional resilience, learning to balance sensitivity with strength. Following lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and connecting with nature help stabilize the Moon’s energy, guiding you to fulfill your path of authentic emotional expression and inner strength.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Cancer rising signals a soul journey of courage, ambition, and growth through transformative action. Mars rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence, as well as the 10th house of career and public life, indicating a karmic calling to assert oneself boldly, whether through career achievements or creative pursuits. The soul seeks strength through handling both personal and professional challenges with resilience. Grounding practices, physical activity, and Tuesday rituals for Mars help bring focus and balance to this path, supporting you in achieving meaningful goals.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

With Mercury as the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers around communication, intellect, and sometimes selfless service. Mercury rules the 3rd house of communication and courage, and the 12th house of release and spirituality, suggesting a karmic focus on refining thought and using words with wisdom. This journey may involve learning to balance intellect with intuition, and growth often comes through serving others or through introspective practices. Aligning with Mercury through study, meditation, or mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha) helps sharpen your path of thoughtful connection and mindful expression.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

Jupiter as atmakaraka signifies a soul journey of wisdom, compassion, and healing. For Cancer rising, Jupiter rules the 6th house of service and the 9th house of higher knowledge, suggesting that your purpose may involve teaching, guiding, or healing others. The soul feels drawn to selfless service, where knowledge and empathy combine to uplift and inspire. You may find fulfillment through service to those in need or spiritual practices. Honoring Jupiter through charity, gratitude, and study enhances this path, aligning you with wisdom that fosters both personal and collective growth.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission involves cultivating love, harmony, and supportive connections. Venus rules the 4th house of home and the 11th house of social networks, suggesting a karmic journey centered around creating beauty, harmony, and community in your surroundings. For Cancer rising, there is often a strong need for close bonds, and your fulfillment may come through building harmonious relationships or nurturing family and friendships. Honoring Venus with beauty rituals, Friday offerings, and creative pursuits supports your path, aligning you with a life of love, unity, and grace.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul seeks to master patience, resilience, and responsibility. Saturn rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 8th house of transformation, showing that your growth often involves deep, enduring relationships and significant life transitions. This placement suggests a karmic focus on commitment and learning the art of perseverance, both within partnerships and personal trials. Regular discipline, observing Saturn’s day on Saturdays, and engaging in steady meditation help support your soul’s path, allowing you to deepen relationships and gain wisdom through life’s transformative experiences.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun itself is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is to live with pure, authentic expression. For Leo rising, the Sun rules the 1st house, highlighting a karmic journey of self-discovery and personal empowerment. Your soul feels called to embody your values openly and to inspire others by example. This path often brings visibility, and fulfillment comes from aligning with your true essence, regardless of external approval. Daily offerings to the Sun, such as Surya namaskar or meditations at sunrise, help fortify your inner light, allowing you to live with radiant integrity.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional wisdom, compassion, and inner tranquility. The Moon rules your 12th house, the realm of spiritual release and hidden depths, suggesting a karmic focus on balancing outer ambition with inner peace. This journey encourages you to cultivate empathy and connect with others on a heartfelt level, often through introspective or healing work. Engaging in practices like lunar meditations, nurturing emotional bonds, and observing the lunar cycles align you with a path that harmonizes inner serenity with outer influence.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Leo rising signifies a soul journey of resilience, adventure, and spiritual growth. Mars rules the 4th house of home and the 9th house of higher knowledge, indicating a path where courage and wisdom are intertwined. Your soul is drawn to explore new ideas, beliefs, and even distant lands, seeking purpose beyond conventional bounds. Mars challenges you to stand firm in your convictions while embracing the unfamiliar. Physical activity, meditation, or hanuman puja strengthens Mars’ influence, empowering you to lead others with conviction and wisdom.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers around communication, learning, and social impact. For Leo rising, Mercury rules the 2nd house of speech and wealth and the 11th house of ambitions and networks, highlighting a karmic path where intellect and social connection are vital. The soul is called to refine language, values, and ideas that influence both family and society. Mercury benefits from regular mantras (Om Budhaya Namaha), study, and journaling, helping you channel your thoughts and wisdom to make a lasting impact on those around you.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is guided by generosity, learning, and profound transformation. Jupiter rules your 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 8th house of mystery and transformation, indicating a karmic focus on sharing wisdom, especially through creative or transformative roles. This journey may involve teaching, mentoring, or delving into spiritual practices that connect you with life’s deeper truths. Honoring Jupiter through charity, study of sacred texts, and gratitude rituals enhances this path, helping you embody compassion and share knowledge that uplifts others.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission involves cultivating beauty, balance, and harmony within both personal and professional realms. Venus rules the 3rd house of communication and the 10th house of career, suggesting a karmic journey in which creative self-expression and interpersonal relationships play essential roles. For Leo rising, fulfillment often comes through refining your approach to communication and embracing roles that allow you to inspire others through beauty, art, or diplomacy. Honoring Venus on Fridays, creating through art, and nurturing close bonds align you with a path of harmonious leadership and refined influence.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is one of endurance, discipline, and responsibility in relationships and service. Saturn rules the 6th house of service and the 7th house of partnerships for Leo rising, suggesting a karmic path that involves learning patience and commitment through both work and relationships. This placement often brings challenges that require persistence and a grounded approach to life. Saturn’s energy strengthens through regular discipline, honoring responsibilities, and observing Shani mantras on Saturdays, guiding you to embrace resilience and wisdom in your roles and partnerships.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is to live with authenticity, compassion, and inner strength. For Virgo rising, the Sun rules the 12th house of spirituality, solitude, and liberation, suggesting a karmic journey focused on self-sacrifice and higher understanding. Your soul may find fulfillment in serving others, often behind the scenes, or in spiritual practices that bring inner peace. Offering water to the Sun at dawn, or practicing meditation, strengthens this path, helping you express your unique radiance with humility and compassion, aligned with a selfless purpose.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional awareness, intuition, and connection with community. The Moon rules the 11th house of social networks, ambitions, and gains, indicating a karmic path that emphasizes cultivating deep, supportive friendships and finding emotional fulfillment within groups. This placement brings a need to balance your practical, analytical nature with empathy and intuition. Connecting with the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and nurturing close bonds aligns you with this soul journey, helping you harmonize personal goals with collective well-being.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Virgo rising signifies a soul journey of resilience, courage, and transformation. Mars rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 8th house of hidden knowledge and transformation, showing a karmic path that involves facing challenges directly and learning from life’s mysteries. The soul finds growth by developing inner strength, especially through investigative or service-oriented pursuits. Strengthening Mars’ energy with regular exercise, meditation, or Hanuman puja empowers you to face obstacles with confidence, bringing courage and determination to your purposeful journey.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey centers on intellect, self-improvement, and social impact. Ruling both the 1st house of self and the 10th house of career and public life, Mercury’s path highlights a karmic focus on mastering communication and serving as an insightful guide in professional or public roles. This journey often involves refining knowledge and sharing it with others in a way that uplifts and informs. Practices such as studying sacred texts, practicing meditation, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha enhance Mercury’s influence, helping you align with a purposeful path of insightful service.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of compassion, wisdom, and healing. For Virgo rising, Jupiter rules the 4th house of inner peace and home and the 7th house of partnerships, indicating a karmic path that emphasizes creating harmony within personal relationships and offering wisdom to loved ones. This journey may involve mentorship, teaching, or even healing work that brings joy and support to others. Honoring Jupiter through acts of kindness, practicing gratitude, and studying sacred wisdom enhances this path, aligning you with a life of loving service and compassionate influence.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission centers on love, values, and harmony within yourself and others. Venus rules the 2nd house of wealth, speech, and family, as well as the 9th house of higher knowledge, travel, and dharma, indicating a karmic journey focused on finding beauty and meaning in both material and spiritual realms. Virgo rising with Venus atmakaraka may find fulfillment in refining values and sharing wisdom with those around you. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, creative expression, and connecting with nature supports this path, bringing beauty and balance to your soul journey.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul seeks to learn patience, discipline, and commitment, particularly in the realms of service and responsibility. Saturn rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 6th house of service and health, suggesting a karmic path that involves careful, dedicated work, often in healing or teaching roles. Virgo rising with Saturn atmakaraka may encounter challenges that require resilience and a steady approach to growth. Honoring Saturn with discipline, offering service, or meditating on Shani mantras on Saturdays strengthens this journey, helping you achieve long-term fulfillment through thoughtful contribution.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves developing inner strength and using it to uplift others. For Libra rising, the Sun rules the 11th house of social circles, aspirations, and gains, indicating a karmic purpose focused on guiding and inspiring within communities or groups. You are called to lead in a way that benefits the collective, often through a role that requires visibility and integrity. Honoring the Sun through daily offerings or practicing gratitude at sunrise fortifies this path, helping you lead others with clarity, warmth, and purpose.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on emotional intelligence, compassion, and a nurturing approach to career. The Moon rules your 10th house of career and public standing, highlighting a karmic path where fulfillment comes from supporting others and creating an emotionally harmonious work environment. This placement calls you to balance ambition with empathy, seeking roles that allow you to care for or inspire those around you. Observing lunar cycles, connecting with nature, and nurturing close bonds help harmonize this journey, aligning you with a career path of meaningful, heart-centered influence.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Libra rising signifies a soul journey of courage, transformation, and relationship dynamics. Mars rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic path where relationships serve as both a source of growth and a testing ground for patience and balance. This journey calls you to stand firm in your values while learning compromise in partnership. Honoring Mars through regular physical activity, Tuesday rituals, or meditative practices empowers you to pursue your soul’s purpose with strength and integrity, especially in matters of wealth and love.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning, teaching, and bridging ideas across cultures or beliefs. For Libra rising, Mercury rules the 9th house of higher wisdom and the 12th house of spirituality, suggesting a karmic focus on expanding knowledge and connecting deeply with one’s spiritual path. This path may involve guiding others, traveling, or exploring philosophy. Honoring Mercury with daily study, journaling, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha supports your journey, helping you align with a path of insightful, compassionate communication and spiritual wisdom.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is marked by service, teaching, and personal development. For Libra rising, Jupiter rules the 3rd house of communication and the 6th house of service, showing a karmic path where growth often comes through mentoring, guiding, or supporting others. There may be a deep call to serve through teaching or healing. Honoring Jupiter through charitable acts, practicing gratitude, and studying sacred teachings helps align you with this path, allowing your wisdom and compassion to uplift others and transform your own life.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is to experience love, beauty, and transformation in profound ways. Venus rules both the 1st house of self and the 8th house of depth and change, indicating a karmic journey focused on refining personal values and experiencing the transformative power of love and connection. Libra rising with Venus atmakaraka often finds fulfillment in relationships and in creating harmony within oneself and others. Engaging in Friday rituals, creativity, and connecting with nature strengthens your path, aligning you with a purpose of beauty, peace, and personal evolution.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, wisdom, and commitment, particularly in matters of home and creativity. Saturn rules the 4th house of home and the 5th house of creativity, suggesting a karmic path where growth comes through cultivating inner security and taking responsibility for those close to you. This placement often brings challenges that require endurance and maturity. Honoring Saturn with regular discipline, serving others, or practicing Shani mantras on Saturdays aligns you with this path, helping you gain wisdom and fulfillment through lasting contributions to home and family.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is about finding and expressing true authority and purpose. For Scorpio rising, the Sun rules the 10th house of career and public life, indicating a karmic path centered on leadership, public recognition, and integrity. There’s often a call to illuminate the world with your unique vision, perhaps through a role that requires guidance or responsibility. Practicing gratitude, offering water to the Sun, and Surya namaskar at sunrise can align you with this purpose, empowering you to shine as a respected figure in your community or profession.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional insight, compassion, and higher wisdom. The Moon rules your 9th house of dharma, philosophy, and spirituality, suggesting a karmic journey where the heart guides your spiritual growth. This path encourages you to explore teachings and experiences that nurture both empathy and inner strength, often through travel or connecting with different cultures. Observing the lunar cycles, practicing self-reflection, and nurturing relationships help harmonize this journey, guiding you to bring healing and intuitive wisdom into the world.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Scorpio rising emphasizes a soul journey marked by courage, resilience, and self-mastery. Ruling both the 1st house of self and the 6th house of service and challenges, Mars calls you to confront obstacles with strength and a willingness to transform. The soul’s mission is often found through experiences that push boundaries, whether in personal development or service-oriented roles. Channeling Mars’ energy through structured practices, physical training, or Hanuman puja aligns you with this path, empowering you to embrace change as a tool for growth and mastery.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves knowledge, communication, and delving into the mysteries of life. Mercury rules the 8th house of transformation and the 11th house of social circles and ambitions, highlighting a karmic focus on understanding and sharing hidden or complex information. Your soul is drawn to explore the psychological, mystical, or scientific realms, often with an intent to communicate these findings to others. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or Om Budhaya Namaha can help channel this path, enabling you to uncover and share deep insights with clarity and compassion.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around wisdom, compassion, and creative self-expression. Jupiter rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and children, suggesting a karmic journey that encourages both personal expansion and nurturing others. Growth often comes through teaching, guiding, or supporting others in ways that align with higher truths. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred wisdom, or charity aligns you with Jupiter’s path, helping you bring your innate wisdom and generosity into every aspect of life.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves learning about love, compassion, and the balance between attachment and detachment. Venus rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 12th house of spirituality and release, highlighting a karmic path where relationships serve as a gateway to both connection and spiritual growth. For Scorpio rising, there’s a deep pull toward exploring the transformational nature of love and partnership. Honoring Venus through Friday rituals, creative expression, or quiet meditation aligns you with this journey, helping you find peace and harmony within both relationships and the inner self.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers on discipline, responsibility, and inner stability. Saturn rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 4th house of home and emotional foundation, suggesting a karmic path where growth comes through commitment to self-discipline and nurturing inner security. This placement often brings challenges that test patience and resilience, yet these trials lead to a profound sense of inner wisdom. Regular meditation, grounding practices, and observing Shani mantras on Saturdays align you with Saturn’s path, guiding you to transform challenges into lasting spiritual strength.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves discovering one’s inner light and sharing it with others. For Sagittarius rising, the Sun rules the 9th house of dharma, spirituality, and higher learning, highlighting a karmic path where the soul feels called to embody and radiate wisdom. Your mission may involve teaching, mentoring, or guiding others through your own insights. Daily offerings to the Sun, Surya namaskar, and sunrise meditations can deepen your alignment with this path, empowering you to inspire others with authenticity, knowledge, and an unshakable inner purpose.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey centers on emotional depth, compassion, and transformation. For Sagittarius rising, the Moon rules the 8th house of hidden knowledge, change, and healing, suggesting a karmic path of exploring deep emotional truths and spiritual renewal. This journey often involves confronting fears and learning to heal both yourself and others. Observing lunar cycles, practicing introspection, and nurturing close relationships bring you in harmony with this path, guiding you to cultivate empathy and find inner peace through emotional understanding and resilience.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Sagittarius rising emphasizes a soul journey of courage, spiritual sacrifice, and creative exploration. Mars rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 12th house of spiritual surrender and liberation, indicating a karmic path where the soul finds purpose through bravery and selfless service. Growth comes through bold pursuits, whether in creative projects, spiritual practices, or taking risks that expand your understanding. Channeling Mars’ energy through regular physical activity, meditation, or Hanuman puja empowers you to walk this path of fearless wisdom and inspired action.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey revolves around intellect, communication, and influence within the world. Mercury rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 10th house of career, suggesting a karmic purpose that involves refining ideas and sharing them with others in meaningful, impactful ways. The soul may be drawn to teaching, negotiation, or roles requiring clear communication and strategic thought. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or Om Budhaya Namaha helps you embrace this path, allowing you to express your insights in ways that uplift and guide others.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is deeply spiritual, seeking growth through wisdom, compassion, and self-understanding. Jupiter rules both the 1st house of self and the 4th house of emotional foundation and inner peace, indicating a karmic path focused on nurturing both personal growth and harmony within. As a Sagittarius rising, your soul feels compelled to embody higher truths and share them with others. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or participating in charitable acts strengthens Jupiter’s influence, guiding you toward a life of spiritual expansion and inner fulfillment.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves learning about love, harmony, and the balance between duty and pleasure. Venus rules the 6th house of service and the 11th house of social networks and aspirations, highlighting a karmic path focused on creating supportive relationships and contributing to the community. For Sagittarius rising, fulfillment often comes through refining relationships and aligning personal ambitions with a greater good. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, creative expression, and spending time in nature aligns you with this path, guiding you to find beauty and balance within yourself and your community.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, patience, and a commitment to personal values and communication. Saturn rules the 2nd house of wealth and values and the 3rd house of communication and courage, suggesting a karmic path that encourages you to uphold truth and responsibility. Growth often comes through learning to express yourself with integrity and through developing resilience in financial or familial matters. Honoring Saturn with regular discipline, practicing Shani mantras on Saturdays, and dedicating yourself to service helps you align with this path, creating a legacy of wisdom and inner strength.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and purpose through transformation. For Capricorn rising, the Sun rules the 8th house of hidden knowledge, transformation, and shared resources, indicating a karmic path where the soul grows by confronting life’s mysteries and embracing change. This placement may lead you toward roles of quiet but profound influence. Honoring the Sun through Surya namaskar, meditations at sunrise, and offerings at dawn can strengthen your connection to this path, empowering you to lead with both wisdom and resilience.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey revolves around emotional wisdom, compassion, and harmonious relationships. The Moon rules your 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic path that involves learning to nurture others and find emotional fulfillment through relationships. For Capricorn rising, this path emphasizes balance between ambition and intimacy, encouraging you to cultivate empathy alongside your goals. Observing the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and nurturing relationships help align you with this path, bringing depth and emotional richness to your personal connections.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Capricorn rising signifies a soul journey marked by resilience, courage, and community involvement. Mars rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 11th house of social networks and ambitions, highlighting a karmic focus on developing inner strength and pursuing goals that benefit the collective. This journey may call you to channel your strength in ways that support both family and community. Honoring Mars through physical discipline, meditation, and Hanuman puja empowers this path, helping you balance personal and social responsibilities with courage and determination.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is to develop intellect, clarity, and a capacity for thoughtful communication. For Capricorn rising, Mercury rules the 6th house of service and health and the 9th house of higher learning and spirituality, indicating a karmic path focused on integrating wisdom and knowledge into daily life. This journey often involves a blend of intellectual pursuits, learning, and offering service to others. Honoring Mercury with mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha), journaling, and study can strengthen your alignment with this path, empowering you to share insights with clarity and purpose.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of compassion, generosity, and spiritual exploration. Jupiter rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 12th house of liberation and spiritual depth, suggesting a karmic path that involves teaching, guiding, or traveling to broaden perspectives. This placement encourages you to balance personal growth with service to others. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying spiritual teachings, or participating in charitable acts enhances Jupiter’s gifts, aligning you with a life of wisdom and compassionate influence.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around love, aesthetics, and cultivating balance in both personal and professional life. Venus rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 10th house of career, highlighting a karmic path focused on bringing beauty, creativity, and harmony into your work. This placement often brings fulfillment through careers that involve the arts, social causes, or diplomacy. Honoring Venus with rituals on Fridays, creative pursuits, and nature connection aligns you with this path, helping you find harmony between personal aspirations and professional responsibilities.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of patience, resilience, and responsibility, especially toward self-development and material values. Saturn rules both the 1st house of self and the 2nd house of wealth and family, indicating a karmic path where growth often involves financial and personal responsibility. This journey encourages you to cultivate discipline, endurance, and integrity in all areas of life. Honoring Saturn through regular meditation, fasting on Saturdays, and acts of service strengthens this path, helping you build a stable foundation for both spiritual and material growth.

��𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves embodying authenticity and purpose through partnerships and public influence. For Aquarius rising, the Sun rules the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic focus on using relationships as a way to inspire and influence. This path often brings partnerships that challenge you to balance individuality with mutual purpose. Practicing daily gratitude, offering water to the Sun at dawn, and Surya namaskar enhance this path, empowering you to shine as a guiding light in both personal and professional relationships.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on compassion, emotional insight, and service. The Moon rules your 6th house of service, health, and everyday responsibilities, indicating a karmic journey focused on nurturing others, often in supportive or healing roles. This journey calls you to bring empathy and sensitivity into everyday life, helping to uplift others and create harmony in service. Following the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and fostering emotional connections aligns you with this path, helping you bring peace and healing into the lives of others.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Aquarius rising signifies a soul journey of courage, action, and impactful service. Mars rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 10th house of career and public life, highlighting a karmic path that involves using strength and determination to create tangible outcomes. This path may lead you to positions of responsibility where your drive to serve the collective can shine. Honoring Mars with physical discipline, regular meditation, or Hanuman puja supports your journey, empowering you to pursue this path of purposeful impact with energy and dedication.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves knowledge, curiosity, and deep intellectual engagement. Mercury rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 8th house of transformation and mysteries, suggesting a karmic journey focused on understanding complex ideas and expressing them creatively. You may be drawn to study, research, or uncover hidden knowledge, often with the intent to share insights with others. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha aligns you with this path, empowering you to make sense of both visible and hidden worlds.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of generosity, wisdom, and community involvement. For Aquarius rising, Jupiter rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 11th house of social circles and aspirations, highlighting a karmic focus on creating abundance not only for oneself but also for the collective. This placement encourages you to cultivate prosperity, contribute to groups, and share wisdom that benefits others. Honoring Jupiter through gratitude practices, charitable acts, and studying sacred teachings enhances this path, helping you become a source of abundance and inspiration for those around you.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on love, beauty, and creating harmony in both personal and spiritual realms. Venus rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 9th house of higher learning and dharma, suggesting a karmic journey focused on bringing beauty and balance into your surroundings and relationships. Fulfillment may come from creating a peaceful home, teaching, or practicing a form of spirituality that emphasizes compassion. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, connecting with nature, and engaging in artistic pursuits aligns you with this path, allowing you to bring harmony and grace into all that you do.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is marked by discipline, responsibility, and a deep commitment to self-development and spiritual growth. Saturn rules both the 1st house of self and the 12th house of liberation and solitude, indicating a karmic path where growth involves learning patience and dedicating oneself to both worldly and spiritual pursuits. This journey often brings challenges that test resilience and encourage self-reflection. Honoring Saturn with regular meditation, observing fasting on Saturdays, and acts of service fortify this path, guiding you to build a life of steady contribution, both materially and spiritually.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sun Atmakaraka:

When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and serving as a source of inspiration for others. For Pisces rising, the Sun rules the 6th house of service, health, and discipline, suggesting a karmic path where the soul learns to radiate strength and compassion through work or service roles. This journey may involve challenges that test endurance, but these experiences bring wisdom and humility. Honoring the Sun through Surya namaskar, sunrise meditations, and daily gratitude help you embody this purpose, guiding you to serve others with both courage and warmth.

Moon Atmakaraka:

With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional wisdom, creativity, and nurturing others. The Moon rules your 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and past-life merit, highlighting a karmic journey focused on expressing empathy and emotional intelligence. This path may involve teaching, healing, or guiding others, often with a deep emotional connection. Observing lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and creating meaningful bonds aligns you with this path, empowering you to nurture both yourself and others in ways that bring inner peace and intuitive insight.

Mars Atmakaraka:

Mars as atmakaraka for Pisces rising signifies a soul journey marked by adventure, spiritual quest, and dedication to personal values. Mars rules the 2nd house of wealth and values and the 9th house of higher learning and dharma, indicating a karmic path that involves exploring personal beliefs, often through spiritual study, travel, or philosophical pursuits. This journey calls you to act on your values courageously and align with a higher purpose. Honoring Mars through physical activity, meditation, and Hanuman puja empowers your journey, helping you embrace courage and integrity on your path of self-discovery.

Mercury Atmakaraka:

When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning, communication, and creating harmony in relationships. Mercury rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic journey centered on refining intellect, fostering emotional balance, and building meaningful connections. This placement often draws you to roles where you can share knowledge, mediate, or guide others. Honoring Mercury through mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha), journaling, and study supports this journey, allowing you to use your voice to uplift and harmonize.

Jupiter Atmakaraka:

With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is deeply spiritual, centered on compassion, growth, and a desire to uplift others. Jupiter rules both the 1st house of self and the 10th house of career, indicating a karmic path that blends personal growth with worldly contributions. As a Pisces rising, your soul feels called to embody wisdom, share teachings, and serve as a guiding presence. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or acts of charity aligns you with Jupiter’s influence, guiding you toward a life of expansive, compassionate purpose.

Venus Atmakaraka:

When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning about love, harmony, and transformation through relationships. Venus rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 8th house of transformation and shared resources, suggesting a karmic journey that explores love, emotional depth, and courage in the face of change. This placement may draw you to creative or healing roles that bridge emotional and spiritual realms. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, engaging in creative expression, or connecting with nature aligns you with this path, helping you create harmony within yourself and others.

Saturn Atmakaraka:

With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, patience, and surrender, especially in relation to the community and the self. Saturn rules the 11th house of social circles and aspirations and the 12th house of liberation and spirituality, indicating a karmic path where growth involves balancing worldly responsibilities with spiritual solitude. This placement often requires steady commitment and self-reflection. Honoring Saturn through discipline, regular meditation, and observing fasting on Saturdays aligns you with this journey, helping you cultivate inner resilience and the wisdom that guides you toward ultimate liberation.

TikTok - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

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katerinaaqu · 14 days ago

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The Assosiation of Odysseus with the Ram (an Odyssey and Iliad Analysis on Odysseus and Hermes)

Is there no one gonna talk on the fact that Odysseus escapes Polyphemus under a ram? A RAM! The ram is one of the sacred animals of HERMES! Also the association of Odysseus with the ram seems to be blatant and I am surprised no one talks of it! Hermes! The god that is his lineage and also arguably the one that helped him without conditions in his trip...is always there!

Hermes is also called Κριοφορος (Kriophoros)= ram-bearer, due to myths that involve him carry a ram around his back

Also in ancient art, Hermes is also depicted riding a ram!

Odysseus escapes Polyphemus and certain death UNDER a ram, when Hermes, the sender of souls to the underworld is depicted ON a ram! What is more the ram as black of color, a color associated to death and mourning as well as Hermes is associated with death!

Hermes is mentioned as "bearer of rams" and yet a lamb now bears Odysseus under it out of the cave!

Of course the most infamous association of Odysseus with a ram is that he is also compared to one! Infamously in the Iliad:

Secondly, the old man upon seeing Odysseus he asked: "Tell me now, dear child, who is that one. He is a head shorter than Agamemnon the son of Atreus but he seems to me wider in his shoulders and his chest, his arms he has them placed upon the well-graised earth. He seems to me like a thick-haired ram the way he prances through the lines of men as if they are a flock of white lambs"

(Translation by me)

Not only does Homer give us a very good physical description of Odysseus in the most beautiful way (ram= thick of hair, possibly curly and wholly -as also described in the Odyssey- possibly hairy of body as well also walking proud and steadily) as well as in a way his demeanour (the word "ram" κτίλος also means "calm" or "demured") but it also seems very interesting how he is associated with an animal known to be sacred to Hermes!

Hermes according to many myths was the father of his grandfather, Autolycus, therefore Odysseus's grea-grandfather! From line one he is associated with an animal that is also associated with his lineage (to me it seems that Homer more or less from line one shows us that this is the family line he follows for Odysseus)

Then a ram is his salvation out of the cave of Polyphemus; a ram that is associated with a god that is said to send souls to the dead also saves his life!

In Aeaea Hermes appears to assist him by giving him Moly and instructions on his trip. Hermes is there all by himself. Other gods have either abandoned him because of his hubris or were not interested in him. Hermes is there to bring assistance on his own accord. (Hermes is also a rule-breaker, just like Odysseus is not the classical figure of a hero and uses methods that are often seen as shady for the ideal warrior)

In the Underworld Odysseus once again has to sacrifice a ram, a BLACK ram and wait for Tiresias to drink from its blood.

A ram is also part of the sacrifice he has to offer to Poseidon (ram, bull and boar).

Hermes comes to bring the message to Ogygia and release Odysseus from it

Odysseus seems to be completely associated with the ram and it is more than just a coicidence to me. Arguably Odysseus who was described as a ram, travels in the Underworld, like Hermes travels to the underworld to bring the souls of the dead! This doesn't seem like a coicidence in my eyes.

Homer seems to be totally insinuating that the ram and consequently Hermes are part of his inheritence. Even the fact that Hermes is often seen as a trickster and a rule-breaker seems to be connected to Odysseus and his behavior or demeanour.

Hermes is also associated as protector of travelers and wanderers and this is exactly what Odysseus is in the Odyssey! Moreover Odysseus and Hermes are associated with the iconography of the hat called petasos:

(Odysseus and Hermes)

Also both associated with this double-stafff iconographically, which is a symbol of a messenger! Odysseus often acts like a messenger or as a comittee or as a negotiator! I also daresay that he is also depicted pulling Briseis from the hand, the movement is associated with Hermes as he leads souls in the underworld!

And most importantly; Hermes's epithets among other are Δόλιος (Dolios)=Wily, Deceiving, Planning

And.....

Πολύτροπος (Polytropos)= Of many ways, of many turns

THEY LITERALLY SHARE THE SAME EPITHET!!!!!!!!

Seriously guys his association with a ram is not a coincidence! The dude is practically the perfect combo of Hermes and Athena!! The Ram is Hermes!!!!!

Get mindblown as I am now!

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rose-from-ashes · 1 year ago

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TRAVELLING LOG: THE PAST

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3/?

#dysloyalty #bleedinghearth #the art of others; sacred offerings

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diana-thyme · 2 years ago

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The Ultimate Grimoire Guide

So! I have been seeing a ton of grimoire ideas and thought I’d stuff them all together. A lot of ideas are from @manifestationsofasort, @banebite, and @pigeonflavouredcake. Check them out! They have a ton of cool stuff there.

What Do I Use For My Grimoire?

You can use anything for a grimoire! For a physical one, journals, binders, and notebooks are good. For digital ones, Notion, Tumblr, Docs, and even just your file folder are great.

Introduction

A Book Blessing

Table of Contents

About Me

Your Current Path

Your Personal Beliefs

Your Spiritual Journey

Superstitions

Past lives

Favorite Herbs/Crystals/Animals/Etc.

Natal Chart

Craft Name

How You Entered The Craft

Astrology Signs

Birthday Correspondences (birth tarot card, birth stone, etc.)

Goals

Safety

Fire Safety

What Not to Burn

Toxic Plants & Oils (to humans, plants, animals)

Crystals That Shouldn’t Be Put… (in sun, in water, etc.)

Things That Shouldn’t Be In Nature (glass, salt, etc.)

Potion Safety

How to Incorporate Blood in Spells

Smoke Safety

Wound Care

Biohazards

Core Concepts

Intention & How It Works

Directing Energy

Protection

Banishing

Cleansing

Binding

Charging

Shielding

Grounding

Centering

Visualization

Consecration/Blessing

Warding

Enchanting

Manifestation

Meditation

What Makes A Spell Work

Basic Spell Structure

What Not To Do In Spells

Disposing Spell Ingredients

Revitalizing Long Term Spells

How To Cast Spells

What To Put In Spells

Spell Mediums (jars, spoken, candle, sigils)

Spell Timing

Potion Bases

Differentiating Between Magick and Mundane

Common Terms

Common Symbols

Intuition

Elements

Basic Alchemy and Symbols

Ways To Break Spells

Laws and Philosophies

Correspondences

Herbs & Spices

Crystals & Rocks

Colors

Liquids & Drinks

Metals

Numbers

Tarot Cards

Elements

Trees & Woods

Flowers

Days

Months

Seasons

Moon Phases

Zodiacs

Planets

Incense

Teas

Essential Oils

Directions

Animals

Symbology

Bone Correspondences

Different Types of Water

Common Plants

Entities

Deities You Worship

Pantheons

Pantheons & Deities Closed to You

Common Offerings

Epithets

Mythos

Family

Worship vs Work

Prayers & Prayer Template

Altars

Deity Comms

Devotional Acts

Angels

Demons

Ancestors

Spirit Guides

Fae

Familiars

House, Animal, Plant, Etc. Spirits

Folklore Entities

Spirit Etiquette

Graveyard Etiquette

Boundaries

Communication Guide & Etiquette

Spirit Work Safety Guide

How Entities Appear To You

Circle Casting

Common Offerings

Altars

Servitors

Mythological Creatures (dragons, gorgons, etc.)

Utility Pages

Gazing Pages

Sigil Charging Station

Altar Pages

Intent Pages

Getaway Pages

Vision Boards

Dream Pages

Binding Page

Pendulum Board

Crystal Grid

Throwing Bones Page

Divination Pages

Mirror Gazing Page

Invocation Pages

Affirmation/Manifestation Pages

Spirit Board Page

Other Practices

Practices That Are Closed to You (Voodoo, Hoodoo, Santeria, Brujeria, Shamanism, Native Practices)

Wicca and Wiccan Paths

Satanism, Both Theistic and Non-Theistic

Deity Work

Religious Paths (Hellenism, Christianity, Kemeticism, etc.)

Animism

Types of Magic/Spells

Pop Culture Paganism/Magic

Tech Magic

Chaos Magic

Green Magic

Lunar Magic

Solar Magic

Sea Magic

Kitchen Magic

Ceremonial Magic

Hedge Magic

Death Magic

Gray Magic

Eclectic Magic

Elemental Magic

Fae Magic

Spirit Magic

Candle Magic

Crystal Magic

Herbalism

Glamours

Hexes

Jinxes

Curses

Weather Magic

Astral Magic

Shadow Work

Energy Work

Sigils

Art Magic

Knot Magic

Music Magic

Blood Magic

Bath Magic

Affirmations

Divination

Tarot Cards

Oracle Cards

Playing Cards

Card Spreads

Pendulum

Numerology

Scrying

Palmistry

Tasseography

Runes

Shufflemancy

Dice

Bibliomancy

Carromancy

Pyromancy

Psychic Abilities

Astrology

Auras

Lenormand

Sacred Geometry

Angel Numbers

Ornithomancy

Aeromancy

Aleuromancy

Axinomancy

Belomancy

Hydromancy

Lecanomancy

Necromancy

Oneiromancy

Onomancy

Oomancy

Phyllomancy

Psephomancy

Rhabdomancy

Xylomancy

Tools

Crystal grid

Candle grid

Charms

Talismans

Amulets

Taglocks

Wand

Broom

Athame

Boline

Cingulum

Stang

Bells

Drums

Staffs

Chalices

Cauldrons

Witches Ladder

Poppets

Holidays

Yule

Imbolc

Ostara

Beltane

Litha

Lammas

Mabon

Samhain

Esbats

Deity Specific Holidays

Religious Holidays (Christmas, Easter, Dionysia, etc.)

Celestial Events

Altars

Basics of Altars

Travel Altars

Deity Altars

Spirit Altars

Familiar Altars

Ancestor Altars

Self Altars

Working Altars

Self-Care

Burnout Prevention

Aromatherapy

Stress Management

Coping Mechanisms

Theories & History

Witchcraft history

Paganism

New Age Spirituality

Cultural Appropriation

Thelema

Conspiracy Theories

Cults

Satanic Panic

KJV

Witches in History

Cats in History

Transphobia in Witchcraft Circles

Queerness in Witchcraft Circles

Other

Recipes

How to Get Herbs

Foraging

Drying Herbs and Flowers

Chakras

Reiki

Witches Alphabet

Runic Alphabet

Guide to Gardening

Your Witch Tips

Resources

Other Tips

List of Spells

Cryptids and Their Lore

What is a Liminal Space?

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manifestationsofasort · 2 years ago

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Things to put in your book of shadows

Of course, only put in your book of shadows/grimoire what you want. If you don't want to put certain subjects in your book then that's fine. It's your book, utilize it how you want. This is just a masterlist of ideas that I've put together. Feel free to add anything else to the list that I may have missed, because there's absolutely no way I included everything.

And for the love of all the gods, if you come across a closed entity or practice, don't try to work with the entity or practice if you're not already part of that group or tradition. You can research it but don't practice it.

+ A blessing and/or protection

+ A table of contents

+ About you:

Your current path

Your personal beliefs

Your spiritual journey

Favorite crystals/herbs/animals

Natal chart

Craft name

How you got into the craft

Astrology signs

Birthday correspondences (birth tarot card, birth stone, etc)

Goals (if you have any)

Anything other relating to your personal practice

+ Safety

Fire safety

What NOT to burn

Plants and oils that can be toxic to your pets

What crystals shouldn't be in water, sunlight, etc

Things that shouldn't be put out in nature (salt, glass, etc)

Potion safety

How to incorporate blood safely

+ Core concepts:

Intention and how it works

Directing energy

Protection

Banishing

Cleansing

Charging

Shielding

Grounding and centering

Visualization

Consencration/Blessing

Warding

Enchanting

Manifestation

+ Correspondence

Personal correspondence

Crystals and rocks

Herbs and spices

Food and drink

Colors

Metals

Number

Tarot card

Elemental (fire, water, air, earth)

Trees and woods

Flowers

Days

Months

Moon phases

Zodiac

Planets

Incense

Teas

Essential oils

Directions (north, south, east, west)

Animals

Local plants, animals, etc

Dream symbology

+ Different practices

Practices that are closed to you (some examples below)

Voodoo and Hoodoo **Closed**

Santeria and Brujeria **Closed**

Shamanism and native american practices **Closed**

Wicca and wiccan paths

Satanism, both theistic and non-theistic paths

+ Different types/practices of magick

Pop culture magick

Technology magick

Chaos magick

Green witchcraft

Lunar magick

Sea witchcraft

Kitchen magick

Ceremonial magick

Hedge witchcraft

Death witchcraft

Grey witchcraft

Eclectic witchcraft

Norse witchcraft

Hellenic witchcraft

Animism

+ Deities

The deity/deities you worship

Different pantheons (the main five are Celtic, Roman, Greek, Egyptian and Norse, all open)

Deities and pantheons that are closed to you

Common offerings

Their epithets

Their mythology

Their family

Deity worship vs deity work

Prayers and how to make your own

Deity communication guide

Devotional acts

Ways to get closer to them

+ Other spiritual entities

Angels

Ancestor work

Spirit guides

The fae

Demons

Familiars

House spirits, animal spirits and plant spirits

Other various folklore entities

Spirit etiquette

Cemetery etiquette

Setting boundaries with the spirits

Communication guide and etiquette

Grounding, banishing, protection and cleansing, aka: "Spirit work safety guide"

How they appear to you

Common offerings

Circle casting

+ Divination

Tarot cards

Oracle cards

Tarot and oracle spreads

Pendulum

Numerology

Scrying

Palmistry/palm reading

Tasseography (Tea leaf reading)

Rune stones

Shufflemancy (Shuffling of a playlist)

Dice divination

Bibliomancy (Randomly picking a phrase from a book)

Carromancy (Melted wax)

Pyromancy (Reading flames)

Psychic abilities

Astrology

Aura reading

Divination via playing cards

Lenormand

Sacred geometry

Angel numbers

+ Other types of magick

Candle magick

Crystal magick

Herbalism/herbal magick

Glamour magick

Hexing

Jinxing

Cursing

Weather magick

Astral work

Shadow work

Energy work

Sigils

Art magick

Knot magick

Crystal grids

Color grids

Music magick

Charms, talismans and amulets

+ Spellwork

What makes a spell work

Basic spell structure

What NOT to do

Disposing of spell ingredients

Revitalizing long term spells

How to cast spells

What to put in spells (See correspondence)

Spell mediums- Jar spells, spoken spells, candle spells, sigils, etc

Spell timing

Setting up a ritual

Taglocks: What they are and how to use them

+ Holidays and Esbats

Yule

Imbolc

Ostara

Beltane

Litha

Lughnasadh/Lammas

Mabon

Samhain

The 12 full moons (Esbats)

How to celebrate

Deity specific holidays

+ Altars and tools

What they are

The different types and their uses (travel altar, working altar, deity altar, ancestor altar, etc)

What you can put on your altar

What you use your altars for

Common tools in witchcraft

How to use the tools

Food and drink

Common herbs in recipes

Sabbat recipes

Moon water: What it is and how to use it

Potion bases

Tea magick

How to get your herbs

Foraging

+ Mental health and self care

Bath magick

Affirmations

Burnout prevention

Aromatherapy

Stress management

Mental health coping mechanisms

+ History of witchcraft

+ Dream records

+ How to differentiate between the magickal and the mundane

+ Calendar of celestial events (Esbats, retrogrades, etc)

+ How to dry herbs and flowers

+ What chakras actually are and how they work within Hinduism

+ History and traditional uses of reiki

+ The witches' alphabet

+ The runic alphabet

+ Common witchcraft terms

+ Common symbols in witchcraft

+ Your own witch tips

+ Good witchcraft books and authors to avoid

+ Any online resources you utilize often

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torteen · 10 months ago

Text

This advertisement is for Infinity Alchemist, a dark academia fantasy about a quest that leads three young alchemists toward dangerous truth, legendary love, and extraordinary power from the bestselling and award-winning author of Felix Ever After, Kacen Callender.

The art featured in this image is by Chris Sack.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT

Defy All Limits.

For Ash Woods, practicing alchemy is a crime. Only an elite few are legally permitted to study the science of magic—so when Ash is rejected by Lancaster College of Alchemic Science, he takes a job as the school’s groundskeeper instead, forced to learn alchemy in secret. When he’s discovered by the condescending and brilliant apprentice Ramsay Thorne, Ash is sure he's about to be arrested—but instead of calling the reds, Ramsay surprises Ash by making him an offer: Ramsay will keep Ash's secret if he helps her find the legendary Book of Source, a sacred text that gives its reader extraordinary power. As Ash and Ramsay work together and their feelings for each other grow, Ash discovers their mission is more dangerous than he imagined, pitting them against influential and powerful alchemists—Ash’s estranged father included. Ash’s journey takes him through the cities and wilds across New Anglia, forcing him to discover his own definition of true power and how far he and other alchemists will go to seize it.

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mysteria157 · 22 days ago

Text

Pairing: Demon! Nanami Kento x Angel Black!Fem Reader

Rating/CW: grey morality, religious undertones, corruption kink, worship, power dynamics (subtle fem submission), monsterfucking, smut, tongue fingering, pronged tongue, vaginal sex, oral (f! receiving), mild blood/biting. MDNI!

Summary: The thick muscle of your wings press against cold ancient stone as he circles you with wicked, stone-faced intent. Glimmering obsidian fingers trace along your feathers until they quiver--fluttering with touch-starved bliss no angel should ever feel. It's forbidden--this sensation in your belly, this humiliating slick between your legs that be can smell, this overwhelming desire that you've spent eons trying to quell.

But now, trapped before a demon so captivating that you can't help but feel equally terrified and dreadfully aroused, reality burns your skin like the holy water that bubbles whenever it's within your reach.

You're not here to serve a divine purpose--you're an offering. And only Heaven knows if you'll fall to your knees before him, begging for corruption.

Author Notes: Here it is! My submission for @tsukimefuku 's Spookinky event! I had so much fun writing this. Thank you, Fuku, for hosting such an awesome event, and I truly apologize for the filth (I do not apologize). Thank you all for your support, and thank you, @aliasnnmknt, for letting me use your art for my banner and helping me create it. Your art really inspired most of this fic!

Header: art by @aliasnnmknt | Divider: @arcielee @enchanthings | network tag: @pixelcafe-network

JJK Masterlist | Twitter | Ao3

You’ve never set foot in a demon’s realm.

You’ve heard the stories—flames that burn flesh from bone, screams that echo for eternity, demons that feast on corrupted souls. For the many eons that you have been in existence, the pristine light you thrive in tells enough horrid stories to keep you away.

You do what you can to show you are pure in your thoughts and heart and that you will walk the line given to make the one above you proud in His selection of you. You’ve done well. It’s why you’ve been given this task—a pilgrimage to a sacred altar within this dark realm, to find the relic it holds and be promised enlightenment and a deeper connection to your spiritual life. For once, you feel special. You are special.

The relic you search for holds ancient divine text that the Heavens would like to make sure does not fall into the wrong hands. Your ability to decipher that text and other old tongues made you the perfect choice—though you try not to question why that ability exists at all. This mission feels important and they insisted you were the perfect choice. Your gifts would serve the greater good. Serve Him.

Maybe that’s why they sent you alone. A single angel, moving quietly through dark territory, would draw less attention than an entire group.

Finally, after so many years of wary glances and hushed concerns. Your many ‘gifts’ that have set you apart—the way ancient texts rearrange themselves under your touch, how you see patterns in chaos that other angels cringe from, your thirst for knowledge that shouldn’t be explored. Finally, it’s all paid off.

Or…at least that’s what they told you. Even as something in your grace whispers warnings you choose to ignore.

Angels bask in absolutes, in the pure warmth of divine light and the straightforward clarity of purpose. There is certainty in right and wrong, never a grey in between. Your wings should bask in holy breeze, not in this thick air that tastes of dreadful sin.

You expected the realm to smell of death and destruction, to look as if every natural disaster had run through the land so the shadows could roam freely to commit sin. It’s what you’ve been taught at least. This Realm specifically is forbidden and faith has been used as a boundary to keep other angels in line.

The outskirts of this realm is covered in a haze, a thick russet fog that smells of ozone and decaying flowers. It settles on your skin like an uncomfortable garment, scratching the surface and burning your dermis. Your wings curdle in pain, burning to ash and regrowing through your bleeding muscles. Gnarled, skeletal trees reach up like claws, the birds that sit on their branches malnourished and dying. Distantly, you hear the constant drip of water from a faucet, yet there is no water in sight. Whispers of sin and moans of agony carry on the wind.

Your white dress flows like liquid moonlight, now stained with ash and ember burns. The neckline dips lower than most angels would prefer.

“To be comfortable in the vessel He gave you is to honor His creation.”

Is what they had said, their justification now seems like a cruel irony as the fog caresses your exposed cleavage with burning fingers. The bottom of your dress trails on the ground as you walk, the dirt burning with red soil that seeps through the toes of your bare feet. It feels as if you’re walking on hot coals, the heat burning the fabric of your hem in tendrils of smoke.

You knew to expect this pain, but it’s different. There is a calculated precision to it, intentional in how it burns you as if testing if your form is solid, if your soul is worthy of corruption. The bell sleeves of your gown flutter in a nonexistent wind, ash and soot collecting in the folds of fabric that they once praised as divine elegance.

Your eyes burn, tears streaking melanin-soaked skin that cannot absorb the shrouded sun up above. As you navigate blindly through the oppressive haze, the shadows around you morph with the darkness and skitter past you on multiple hands and contorted feet.

An infinitesimal part of your grace shivers in fear. It’s small yes, pushed away and ignored like you have been taught, but it’s there in the quickening of your pulse and the break of sweat on your neck, it’s there as you walk further through the vicious landscape of horror and pain, as you try to ignore the gurgling of what you do not know from all around you.

Your wings curl around your body, a small gesture of protection that you fall into when the fog gets thicker. It slides languidly up your nostrils and down your throat, catching along the corners. You cough, sputtering wildly through ash and decay, your eyes bubbling with more burning tears. That fear flickers again in your chest and wiggles like a worm in search of moist dirt in your rib cage.

You can do this. You have been chosen. Your lips curl and part as you recite your prayer in silence, asking for strength even as your fear climbs higher to the surface of divine worship.

Then—through burning tears, you see it. A path of pure obsidian that cuts through the horror, its surface covered in a thin layer of water that reflects starlight not in the skies above. Your feet pick up in pace, moving before conscious thought, drawn to its dark beauty and vast difference of the world around. The moment your toes dip into the water-slicked stone, the moisture sliding off your skin without wetting it, everything changes.

The burning on your skin and feathers stops. The pungent fog parts like a curtain and dissipates into the air. You pull in a deep breath, savoring the thickness that is no longer there, your throat coated in clean oxygen. Your dress, moments ago stained with ash and fiery burns, returns to its pristine white. Once the tears in your eyes clear, you take in the changed landscape.

Perhaps the realm only transforms if one gets this far, because now there is no destruction but a defiance of what you see. The sky is tinged a permanent grey, overcast even though there’s a warmth to the low hang of the clouds. There are no lakes of fire, and the ground beneath your feet is no longer hot with clay-colored dirt that seeps between your toes. The obsidian path winds before you through tall garden walls of pearly white flowers, the leaves pitch black instead of earthly green.

Above the dark canopy of the garden walls, a monolith looms tall, piercing the grey sky as if demanding to be let into the heavens. It’s built to resemble a vast tree, its surface rippling with starlight, the bright core pulsing like a heartbeat, beckoning you deeper into this realm of misconstrued beauty. The garden path must lead to it. Even the pearly white flowers weaved into the walls all point forward, ushering you on.

Your wings furl closer to your spine as you shuffle to one of the garden walls, hesitantly reaching for the flowers twined in the vines and leaves. It’s a beautiful white, with small petals that curl toward a sage core. They’re littered along the walls, a beautiful landscape against darkness but the closer you get, the more you realize—

Hemlock

A poisonous flower, the symbol of death, betrayal, and sacrifice. It sits in it’s refined beauty, enhancing the black leaves around you, but they are just as dangerous.

You snatch your hands away as if stung, clutching the fabric of your dress like a lifeline. You try not to think about how the hemlock watches you with pale eyes. You try not to think about what they represent. You try not to question why these flowers would point and line a path to the divine relic you seek.

With every step you take, the pulsing from the monolith in the distance vibrates through the ground, the water rippling currents with each beat. The obsidian path narrows, forcing your wings closer to your body, your arms so close to the deadly blooms. The garden walls rise higher, leaves trembling in that same empty breeze.

While the air no longer feels thick, it is heavy with a taste both nonexistent and flavorful. Flavored with the knowledge you seek when others do not look and secrets that make your eyes linger even as your grace warns you against it. The questioning urges of your nature that Heaven always tries to quell stir awake like a beast being poked after centuries of rest.

You should ignore it. You should ask for forgiveness and count the blessings you have been given in this long existence. But your heart leaps at the chance you have also been given, right now.

The monolith’s base reveals itself slowly, the garden walls parting gradually with dark promise. Your breath catches at the sight—this is no crude demon architecture. The structure rises before you like an otherworldly giant, jet black vines weaving within its bright innards.

You’re struck by the beauty of it all, a resplendent sight that you never imagined would bless your eyes. And as you draw closer, the glass obsidian floors open up before you. From the open floor, a column of marble rises, its surface bleached bone and covered in aging vines and greenery.

On that altar, rests the relic you seek. It is no crystal that contains energy to create vasts universes. It is no seed that once planted will wreak destruction with its pollination. It is no amulet capable of manipulating time.

It is a book.

A single book that is thick with words of forbidden knowledge, its cover worn and weathered from eons of hiding in the shadows, its pages yellowing along the edges.

Such a simple relic, but you feel it’s dark power from your spot at the altar.

You’ve been tasked to tuck it away and sneak back to Heaven, to deliver it to your superiors and be given your eternal reward. While simple in theory, your hands hover over it, hesitating with shaky fingers.

Do not open it.

Do not look at it for longer than necessary.

Do not look inside.

These are your rules—your absolutes. And yet…

Your fingers twitch, reaching and pulling back at the elusive call of the tome, your feathers trembling with a desire you shouldn’t feel. Your eyes burn with tears of veneration as the symbols on the worn leather illuminate and rearrange before your eyes like dancing embers, the translated text reading in your mind like an endless scroll.

Do not look at it for longer than necessary.

You snatch it up, pressing it to your chest as a means to stop your racing heart. Your soul palpitates with want, a baseless need to curl your fingers under the lips of the book and tilt it open.

It’s temptation, that festering desire that always seems to coil in your belly when the explanations you are given never feel right, when the world around you seems too pristine and you want to know more, when you linger in the mortal realm, watching the humans with a curious eye that is more than what is required of you.

It’s quick and on a whim, you pulling the book from your chest to look down at it, as if by looking it will answer the questions you seek. You trail your fingers along it’s ancient skin, soft and unmarred fingertips feeling along ridges and scars along the cover. It looks as if the relic has gone through it’s own personal Hell, no doubt jerked around from realm to realm over the centuries, pried open and its secrets stolen. There’s a faint beat of sadness that you feel in your chest at the thought of what it must have gone through.

But your fingers still finger beneath the lid, the worn pages jagged on your tips as you worry it up with a slow movement.

Do not open it.

You squeeze the tome, pressing the pages inside more into each other in a silent attempt to seal it and your temptation away forever. Your toes curl into the water beneath you, cold on your skin but still passing over you dry and without moisture.

But once again you catch yourself loosening your grip, your fingers adventurous, your mind begging for more and it’s right here.

In times like these, you find yourself turning to the one manifestation that has never answered you, but exists in your very being.

“Father,” you whisper, voice shaking. “Give me the strength against temptation.” Your wings draw tight, your spine aching from the sudden action, before they expand in a glorious span, feathers opening like extended fingers before they curl around you to shield you from your own curiosity. “Guide me from this darkness, keep my thoughts pure…”

But even as you pray, your body rebels—your fingers part a page and slide along the rough texture of papyrus. There’s a power to the book now, a deep pulse that seems to be in rhythm with the monolith, beckoning you further. The ancient text burns brighter, the translated words whispering in your ears to give in just this once—look inside, soak in your knowledge, seek what others deny.

Your lips quiver, eyes burning with unshed tears at the way your body betrays you. You’re no better than a fallen angel, than a demon or a human who walks the path of darkness—easily tempted and consumed.

You’re not damned, you’re not, you’re not—

“What do we have here?”

The voice slides through your tumultuous thoughts like silk, rich with bored amusement and something darker. Your prayers die in your throat, catching along the edges of your esophagus, your body icing over with a chill of what you try to rebuke as fear.

You’re not alone and you knew the dangers of wandering this realm so freely. You call upon your grace, manifesting a celestial dagger of light and purity, before you whirl around to face the demon who pursues you.

But you’re met with nothing—just the empty garden path you came from.

When you turn back to the altar, your scream catches in your throat.

He stands with casual power and predatory grace. His skin is a pitch lighter than the obsidian paths, but still scattered with constellations. His hair falls in golden-blonde waves, the ends touched with flame that frames sharp features and elegant black horns that curl from the top of his head. His eyes are a burning yellow, studying you with a calculating hunger that makes you shiver.

He stands tall, an inhuman height that makes you feel incredibly small, his wings the color of dark flames spread lazily behind him, their edges flickering with crimson light.

The armor that adorns his upper body is otherworldly and crafted not by divine or mortal hands—navy as dark as night, trimmed with gold that wraps around his shoulders and sides, his chest bare. His hip rests against the altar as if he owns it, expectant like he’s been waiting for you.

He’s beautiful, a manifestation of dark and light, a being that walks his own line not predetermined. As you study him, something tugs at your memory—flashes of encounters that have grown fuzzy over time. In the mortal realm, when you linger in the shadows to observe the humans, a tall figure in navy and tan, warm eyes hidden behind glasses with no arms, hair not tipped with flame but parted clean and tucked behind his ears.

He lingers in the darkness, in damp alleys and abandoned buildings where misery and pain give birth to grotesque figures that terrorize the mortals. You’ve seen him—or you think you have—convinced it was a coincidence and ignored the way your wings would shiver at his distant presence, tilting toward him as if searching for someone lost.

And in your dreams too—dreams of large hands filled with experiences of the world, of whispers in your ear of eternal knowledge. You’d wake with your grace trembling, convinced it was just your mind playing tricks even as the apex of your thighs trembled with the sheen of your sweat and forbidden essence.

Perhaps that’s why your superiors ask for you after these dreams. Perhaps that’s why they press their fingers to your temples and bury the memories deep. So you do not have to worry. So that you can resist temptation. Right?

Yes. All of it is a temptation to test your faith.

But now he stands before you, solid and real, and those ‘coincidences’ suddenly feel intentional. Had he been watching? Waiting for this very moment?

You adjust your grip on your dagger, forcing away those thoughts that never seem to go away. You stagger backwards, your celestial dagger shaking in your hands, your prayer wielded before you like a shield.

“Our Father who art in Heaven,” you whisper, desperate words that feel as if they fall on closed ears, your fear radiating from your bare toes, through the strong muscles of your white wings, and up to the top of your skull. “Hallowed be thy—”

The demon moves towards you now, each step gobbling the distance between your retreating form until your back hits the garden wall, a gasp dying in your throat.

“That name,” he murmurs, sultry low as he cages you with muscular arms, “holds no power here.” His eyes drag down your form, cataloging you bit by bit, lingering on the sight of a shaking chest that is pressed to the tome you clutch.

He leans in close, too close, until you feel the burning heat from his skin. You press your back harder against the garden wall, dark leaves and hemlock brushing along your cheeks and neck as he inhales deeply along the column of your throat.

He smells like the archives you lose yourself in, like the green tea you love to drink in the mortal realm, like a dark concoction of burning honey that would make the noses of other angels crinkle but your nostrils open to inhale more. Your divine senses blur.

This is temptation, you tell yourself as your wings putter against the wall behind you. You’ve practiced for this, you know what you should do. But your body betrays you, your head tilting slightly before you can think about it, offering more of your neck for his inspection.

Horror at your sin, ice cold as it washes over you, makes you act. You press your celestial dagger upward, against his bare chest where one particular constellation burns brighter than the rest.

But the blade dissolves like sugar in the rain the moment it touches him, holy light scattering for a home as it shimmers across his skin to form new constellations.

“How interesting…” The deep voice inquires, hot as it puffs on your neck. “An angel, stealing what does not belong to them. Surely there’s a rule about that, is there not?”

You clutch the tome tighter to your chest, your mouth opening to snap that this is your mission, your divine purpose. But the book vanishes from your grip in black tendrils of smoke, your hand smacking into your breasts from the gap created.

“Give it back!” Panic rises in your throat as you try to meld with the leaves behind you, your fingers wrapping around vines and leaves like a vice.

A sigh, long and drawn out as if mentally exhausted, as if this isn’t the first this has happened, leaves his giant form and travels over your body.

“No, I don’t think I will,” he drawls, pushing off the wall and walking away as if your presence means nothing. He turns to face you at the altar, eyes half-lidded as he rests his forearms on the marble surface and opens the tome that is now manifested in his hands. He’s giving off every impression that the relic you seek will not be going home with you, and he is more than prepared to read it all until you go away.

“W-well, you…” you trail off, your eyes flickering to the open book in his hands. You can’t see the words inside, but you can practically smell the papyrus, a smell that warms you when you trail your fingers along the archives in Heaven. You tighten your grip on the leaves, flexing your wings to extend in a display of dominance, even though it feels as if this demon has read you the moment you stepped into this realm.

The tome sits like an infant in his hands, small and precious as he turns a page, long galaxy shimmered fingers gliding along the text as he reads. That curiosity beckons, a familiar pulse of sin that fires along the nerves in your legs to take a step toward him, to peak over the edge of the book and look inside.

“Demon,” you press, swallowing a lump of your frayed nerves.

His eyes flicker up at you, burning gold irises mildly offended.

“That is not my name.” He turns another page, pulling his gaze away from you, dismissive. “Though, I suspect you already know what it is.”

Why would you know his name? While the sight of him invokes some distant memories, you both have never spoken. The confusion mixes with your flood of panic, your eyes locked on the ancient text in his hands.

“I don’t—I’m here on divine purpose. The Heavens sent me to deliver this relic.”

“They sent you to steal this relic,” he corrects. He slams the tome closed, the sound making you flinch before he walks back to you in casual strides, his form almost gliding on the obsidian floors.

“I would not steal.”

“Coming to a place without invitation and taking the items inside is, indeed, stealing.”

You sink back into the flowers as he draws closer, your heart pumping erratically in your chest, your limbs filling with shame at the logic he draws. But still, you resist.

“I was invited.”

You’ve always been around to see the return of angels from long missions where they are surrounded by darkness and pain. They seem so strong, their chests puffed in pride, their wings shining brighter as a badge of honor. There’s a bravery that you wish you could have right now. But you’re afraid—whether that fear is pure or mixed with something sensual and dangerous—you still don’t know.

“I-I was chosen,” you insist, despite what you feel.

“Oh, I’m sure you were.” His head tilts as he regards you.

The book disappears from his hands before materializing in your own, warm smoke wrapping around your wrists before dissipating. “Take it. Return to your divine purpose.”

You clutch the tome, hoping for relief to fill your wings, but you can only feel disappointment instead. You hesitate, flickering your gaze up to the demon who stands expectantly with arms crossed, like he knows what the outcome will be. Like he knows you will be back.

You turn around and flea down the obsidian path. The garden walls adorned with pearl flowers blur past you until—

The walls part again, the altar and demon coming into view.

“That’s not—” you spin, turning back toward the path and running faster this time, your relic pressed to your body, your lungs burning with the truth that you’re trying to deny.

The hemlock flowers seem to laugh as you pass, their white petals pointing the way with mocking fingers until—

The altar. The demon, an eyebrow raised. Again.

“Stop this!” Your voice breaks as you turn around to try again, sprinting so hard that your wings flap against the wind, your toes touching the top of the thin layer of water below you. You come to the altar a third time, then a fourth, each leading back to his knowing and patient form.

“I’m not doing anything.” His voice holds a gentle pity that pricks at your skin. “But why? Why would they send their most curious angel into a demon’s realm? Why alone? Why you?”

Something in his tone, in the endearment wrapped around seduction makes your grace shiver. You long to have an answer ready on your tongue, and you do, but it’s more practiced, copied, and spit out and resonates in your bones incorrectly.

“The relic requires eyes that can transcribe so I select the right one. My abilities—”

“Your abilities,” he interrupts softly, materializing behind you, “the ones that they’ve tried to suppress. The ones that they’ve feared. Yet suddenly, all of it is for naught, and you’ve been given this divine purpose?”

The towering demon circles you slowly, analyzing you like a predator waiting for his wounded prey to finally submit. You swallow hard, fingers digging into the leather of the book, eyes downcast.

“They finally saw my worth,” you insist, but the words sound hollow even to your ears. “I am pure. Free of sin. I do not stray.”

Warmth by the shell of your ear, the rich smell of him forbidden, an erotic melody that makes your blood long to sing.

“Lies.”

Your wings slash through the air in deep powerful strokes, twitching in their plumage. “I would not lie!”

“Neither would I, little angel. But it seems you have been led here under false pretenses.”

“No.”

“There is no relic.” The tome in your hands disappears, it’s solid form no longer tethered to existence.

“Give it—”

“There is no mission,” he presses on. “There is no divine purpose. There is only you. Cast down here and given to me.”

“To you…”

“An offering, little angel.”

The word makes you chill over in disgust, the very thought of being a sacrificial lamb enough to make you sick to your stomach. You shake your head vehemently, insistently denying as best as you can even though your grace radiates with the truth.

“No. They would never sacrifice someone. They—they wouldn’t—they wouldn’t do that to me.”

The demon clicks his tongue, pity filling his otherworldly features with a slight pout of his lips as he studies you. Before you can take another breath, the realm shifts, reality bending in a plume of smoke. The monolith and altar disappear, the darkness of the garden walls fading to give way to the eternal light you recognize as your home.

The tall pearly gates that surround your kingdom smile down at you, pearlescent clouds that seeps beneath the doors kissing your bare toes. Your wings waft in the air with ease, pumping euphoria through your veins as you smile up at your home. The tome is back now, cradled safely in your arms, reminding you of your mission. With a hope bright in your chest, you rapt your fingers on the doors.

“Father! I’ve retrieved the relic! I’m home!”

But the doors do not open. There is no sound of movement on the other side, no shift in the white clouds around you. It doesn’t even feel as if someone is not home. You can feel your siblings, you’ve always been able to sense them in your grace, but this sensation is reluctant. As if they peak through closed curtains on the other side, watching through a window with their hand on the door to prevent you from coming in.

“H-hello?” you try again, voice shaking as you knock with more fervor, denial warring with growing dread. “I-I said I’ve brought the relic.” Silence. “Hello?!” You smack on the doors now, the holy wood splitting at your skin and healing over again. Surely someone must be home. Maybe they are away? Maybe they are busy and do not hear?

You press your forehead against the door, wings drooping. Through your grace, you feel them there, still watching. Waiting for you to leave. But not to welcome you home.

“Please,” you whisper, eyes stinging. “Will someone—”

“They will not open the doors, little angel,” the demon speaks from behind you.

You jump from his sudden appearance, your body drained of all blood at the sordid thought of what is happening right now. Reality shifts again, the divine light of your home sucking back into darkness, the monolith and marble altar and obsidian floors coming back into view.

Your legs threaten to give as realization washes over you. You shake your head, lip quivering as tears blur the edges of your vision, your fingers curling on the altar. How could they do this to you? You have always struggled in this life, always been so ashamed that you do not think like the others. But to cast you out? To give you these wings and then make you feel as if you are beyond saving?

“Perhaps it is a mistake,” you whisper, your hope crumbling with every word. You feel his large form next to you before you hear any steps. “Why would they do this to me?”

You have no choice but to look up at him, to seek some form of answer in his burning yellow eyes. There’s a flicker of something that crosses his face—amusement? Maybe pity?

“They have offered you to me. A sacrifice to take the darkness from their pristine walls and feed it to the realm it belongs to.”

The words hang in the air, the horrifying truth once again presented to you. Your heart lurches in your chest. You recoil, your wings drooping to brush along the water covered floor.

“They fear you, little angel,” he continues, voice softening. “Your potential, your curiosity, your unwillingness to follow their absolutes.”

You slap your hands on the altar, the sound reverberating through the emptiness around you. “I will not.”

The demon chuckles, a low, sardonic noise that crawls up your dress and wraps around your throat. “Such defiance,” he purrs. “It’s quite…alluring.”

You can’t help the noise of shock and anger that crawls up your throat, shooting him a dark look. “I will not be corrupted by the likes of a demon like you.”

“Like me? So you imply that another demon may have a chance?” His jests fall on rageful ears, your wings flapping in defiance as you gape at him. He leans in close, his breath warm against your lips as he whispers. “You deny it all little angel. But you already are corrupt.”

You try to pull away from him, but a large hand falls to the small of your back, his fingers weaving through your wings in a caress that makes you choke on a whine.

“Come now, my dear.” The tip of his nose trails along your cheek, the touch sending flames of desire down your neck. You curl your fingers into a fist on the altar, your body ramrod straight.

“I can smell it on you,” he continues, his voice a silken caress. “The insatiable curiosity, the yearning for more, the essence that pools between your thighs every night before you sleep.”

The fingers in your plumage massage your skin, your shoulders relaxing into a traitorous sigh before with a swift motion, he plucks a feather from its root. You wince, your hand flying back to bat him away before he holds the feather in front of you, its tip stained a deep, inky black.

“Do you not try to hide it? You sneak to the archives. You let them smother your dreams. You do not tell them that you sneak away to the mortal realm to watch them eat, and bathe, and sin.”

He turns your wing to expose the underside where the feather was plucked, your eyes widening as if you’ve been caught. The skin is marred with a dark scar, the muscle underneath dried with blood and presenting as damning evidence of you plucking those feathers over and over, your cheeks covered in tears as you did your best to hide them away.

“You pluck your true self,” he whispers, voice laced with dry amusement. “But they only grow back stronger, don’t they?”

A breath catches in your throat, his words piercing through your defenses that you have built with weak mortar and brick for eons. Your eyes catch his, your desire reflected in burning gold.

“Even so…I cannot leave?”

He hums in reverence, a pointy finger trailing along your collarbone to brush a lock of hair from your shoulders, exposing more of your scent for him to breathe in.

“You have tried to leave already and you cannot. There is nowhere for you to go. I can let you roam to any realm you choose, but the doors of Heaven will be locked for you forever.”

Your eyes bubble with tears. It’s an unfortunate hand that you have been dealt. A hand always opened to you in promise even as the other held a dagger behind the back of divinity. There’s a deep part of you that would try to find some sort of silver lining in moments of darkness, a silver lining that only benefits you.

“If I stay…what will you give me?” you ask, your voice small and defeated.

The demon sinks to one knee in front of you, his eye level now only a little taller than you, but still more humane than his hovering from before. He offers a slow, predatory smile, his lips parting to reveal sharp pearly white fangs.

“You already think in ways that will benefit yourself, don’t you? Whatever you desire, little angel, I will give it.” The sharp point of his nail trails down your cheek, casting a wave of arousal down your body, your stomach tightening. “Anything at all.”

You cannot deny the promise of whatever you want does not make you perk mildly with curiosity, the same curiosity that was always quelled.

You lick your lips in thought, a nervous habit that your siblings have always discouraged. It’s unbecoming of an angel, they’d say, a physical manifestation of want. But you’ve always like the way your tongue feels against the plump flesh of your lips.

“Anything?”

He inclines his head to you, eyes answering without having to say. You hesitate, your mind racing with possibilities, unleashed with nothing to hold them back.

“I want…” you begin, stopping short at the coil of desire that burns in your body. You’ve never given it a true voice, and now that you’ve been presented with the opportunity, you are unsure of how to proceed.

The demon’s eyes roam over your form before they brighten with understanding. “You wish to read the tome.”

You nod, unable to speak past the dry lump in your throat. He summons it quickly, the worn leather materializing in his enormous hands as he hands it to you like an offering of forbidden fruit.

“Take it,” he urges in a seductive whisper. “It is yours.”

You reach out with trembling fingers, your grace pulsing with desire, it’s feel growing bolder as you snatch it up into your hands and let it flow through you. The leather is cool beneath your fingertips, worn with the promise of centuries of words you’ve always wanted.

When you open the book and let your eyes fall on the faded script, they rearrange themselves like before, translating to you in a seductive dance that makes your toes curl. The knowledge overwhelms you, flooding your senses in a wave of information about this realm—its history and inhabitants and magic. You feel a thrill of excitement, a suppressed sense of liberation as you turn page after page.

From your peripheral, you see the demon offer that same predatory smile. With a snap of his fingers, the world shifts around you again. You are further from the monolith but instead of the altar, you are surrounded by looming bookshelves, all filled to the brim. Ancient tomes and scrolls, dusty relics that have been neglected over the years but kept in condition by this demon who rules this realm.

“This is a taste of what I can offer you. All of it is yours.” He steps closer, the energy that he radiates filling your space with darkness and seduction that terrifies and excites you. “There is so much more I can show you,” he whispers in your ear again. “Would you like that?”

Even though your body and soul buzz with satisfaction from the books around you, the shame is still there, still bubbling beneath the surface next to your dejection.

Sensing your unease, he places tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, a gesture that you long to fall into before the world morphs again.

He takes you back to where you began, the realm’s outskirts. However there is no russet fog that is thick and smells of decay and misery, this time your vision is clear. The shadows that once hovered around you in your quest to the monolith now reveal themselves as souls—humans that you recognize from your years of observation.

“Do you remember her?” the demon asks, pointing to a small woman tending to a bush of flowers. “The woman from years ago who stole medicine for her dying child because she had no money.”

You do remember watching with tear filled eyes. It was an ancient time where death was a sentence given freely, and this mother had been called to the land of the dead for stealing bread.

“You watched her pray for forgiveness even as she did what was necessary.” His hand rests on your lower back, reassuring in its pressure. “Heaven would have condemned her. I gave her purpose.”

“How do you give purpose if you are a demon?”

The demon huffs, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “It is true that I gain my strength through corruption. But it is corruption through intellectual rebellion and questioning minds. I am strong because no matter how many years may pass, there will always be a soul that questions.”

Each soul that you pass triggers a memory—struggles you watched but could never reach out and help. And in each memory, you gain more clarity—he was always there in the mortal realm, appearing in navy and tan just like you thought.

“You’ve been watching me then,” you inquire, tucking your tome closer to your chest as you cast a sidelong glance to him.

“It is my nature,” he rumbles from next to you. “You understand the beauty in grey areas. The necessity of balance.” His fingers glide along the empty space where you plucked your blackened wings. “Here, you could judge with mercy and justice. Rule in the knowledge they feared.”

Power.

A destructive thing that has elevated so many and torn them down. But the call of it has always been sweet, and now you are the subject of it. The very thought of it makes your knees weaken, your grace fluttering like a leave in the wind. This could be something more honest, not Heaven’s sterile authority.

The soil that is no longer red vibrates beneath you, pulsing up your ankles and calves, around your waist and torso in thick vines that pull you to the monolith miles away.

“Easy, my dear,” he murmurs, a muscular arm sliding around your waist to prevent you from swaying further. “The first taste of true power always overwhelms.” Your grace flickers between divine light and seductive shadow, somehow grounded by his hold.

Every soul’s story calls to you now, complex choices and grey morality making your divine nature pulse with stomped out recognition. You lean into him, falling more into his scent, your wings brushing his back to seek balance.

“I…” you trail off, clutching the relic in your arms, using it to ground you through your thoughts that fight between light and dark.

“What else would you like?” he purrs in your ear, his hand reaching out to the realm beyond that begins to shift again. A vast kitchen filled with warmth and enticing scents. “Earthly pleasures are denied amongst angels.” The pristine counter tops are soon overflown with rich goods and goblets of wine. “Even something as simple as this.”

You’ve never had wine—it’s forbidden—at least for you. But the way it catches the warm fireplace behind it, deep and rich…your mouth waters.

“Freedom to roam where you wish.”

Glimpses of different realms flash by—clouds of different shapes and sizes, landscapes of mountains and water as clear as crystal, beings that take on their own forms as they wander the lands—places you’ve only dreamt of exploring, of asking to see and always been denied.

His voice drops lower, more intimate and hot on your cheek. “Or perhaps…” Another shift. A dark room you remember faintly—through gauzy curtains, you see two figures entwined in candlelight. The brown skin of limbs and curves wrapped around tan that shimmers faintly. You recognize the hips of the woman, the collarbone and hair, and you realize it’s you. You wrapped around this very demon next to you who appears in the mortal realm as a human with carefully parted locks and a height fit for yourself.

Your blood boils beneath your skin as you try to look away. But like every forbidden thing that’s ever called to you, your eyes are drawn back to the scene—to the way your dream-self arches into his touch, the way your neck cranes, the sight of his tongue sliding along the sweat of your brown breast.

He hums from behind you, his demonic form pressing closer as you watch his human glamour worship your other self. That familiar wave of shame wars with the desire in your body, trying its best to smother the arousal that tightens your nipples beneath your white dress. All of it you suffer night after night—your grace singing, skin hot and sweaty—essence coating your thighs.

“I—” you stutter for words, eyes locked on the human form that rolls his hips and swallows a moan that shakes from your other-self. “This is wrong…”

His starlight fingers trace your collarbone, mimicking the tongue of his human form. “Your body remembers what they tried to smother away. How many nights did you wake burning for this? For me?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

The realm shifts one final time, the familiar garden walls and monolith appearing before you, the altar pressing into your back. The demon circles you, giving you no time to recover as his prying eyes pick you apart feather by feather.

“Even your grace recognizes where you truly belong.” He reaches out, trailing pointy nails down your spine, your body arching of its own volition. “Here. With me.”

His hands engulf your entire waist, his touch making you gasp as he lifts you up to sit on the altar before him.

“Every dream they tried to bury,” his hands trail up your thighs, “every desire they made you forget…” he steps closer, taking the oxygen from your lungs that you expel, his naked chest a hairsbreadth from your searching fingers. “All of it has lead to this moment. To me.”

“I—” you try to protest, but it dies in your throat as he tilts your chin to face him.

“You were meant for this realm,” he leans in, trailing his nose along your shaking lips. “I will make you mine. As my queen, my consort, my equal.” You press the tome further into your chest like a lifeline as his hand rests on the side of your neck, his nails grazing the lobe of your ear. “You’ve always known it. Even in those dreams where you surrendered to me so sweetly.”

His lips are close enough to kiss you, but they brush your jaw instead, trailing electricity down your throat. “Anything you want,” he breathes against your pulse, smiling at the sight of it’s rapid flutter, “you will have, little angel.” His mouth moves to that sensitive spot behind your ear that you discovered one night centuries ago. “But you must surrender to me. You have been offered and now you must be consumed.”

You clutch the tome tighter, using it as a tether even as your head tilts to give him better access. “I should not…”

“Surrender,” he whispers, lips ghosting your shoulder now, each kiss punctuated with promises that you should deny. “Let me worship you.” A kiss to your collarbone. “You will never be denied again.” His mouth traces back to hover over your lips. “Submit to what you have always wanted.”

The burn in your body makes your skin tingle, your core pulse with forbidden need, your nipples tighten in pleasure. Everything you’ve always wanted, could be given to you right now.

All of your dedication to faith has only led to tears and shame and disappointment. But here, you could be rewarded for your curiosity, exalted for your power to see what others do not, consumed in pleasure without the eyes of disdain looking down on you.

Here, with this beautiful demon, you can have it all.

For as powerful and as dark as he is, despite the patient hunger in his golden eyes, you realize he’s waiting. You must give the final say. A final say to do away with eons of denying, of plucking dark feathers, of letting them bury your dreams…

“Please,” the words shake from your lips before you can stop it, the tome slipping from your defeated grasp.

His eyes flash with satisfaction, mouth twitching with the urge to smile, but he relents. “Say it properly, little angel.” His mouth brushes the corner of your lips in not quite a kiss. “Tell me.”

Your wings spread wider of their own accord, trembling and stretching past invisible threads that have always held them down. “I want…I will to surrender.”

You hardly finish your words before you feel the press of his lips against yours, gentle and almost reverent. It’s the first time you’ve ever kissed, and it’s as euphoric as you’ve always thought. Your toes curl in satisfaction, your body hums with arousal, low and beneath the surface but quickly growing.

The hand on your neck tilts you up so he can feast further, a wet tongue sliding along the seam of your lips in a quiet ask for permission. You let your body guide you, opening your mouth to welcome him with a groan.

He tastes like he smells—green tea and honey, a hint of rich bread that you occasionally try in the mortal realm. It’s intoxicating, dark mingled with your fading sweetness. One that speaks of corruption and surrender.

What started as gentle quickly turns hungry and consuming. Your grace shivers as you catalogue every shift in your body, learning from the lessons of his tongue. Each stroke of him feels like corruption, like freedom, like finally coming home and you arch into him for more.

Your white dress slowly disappears before you, your body revealing to him naked and shivering. You try to cover yourself, an urge ingrained in you since your coming of existence, but the demon’s large hand stops you, gathering both hands in his strong grip and placing them at your sides.

He does not wait a second longer, his mouth trailing in worship down your neck and across your collarbone to pepper the swell of your breasts, your core pounding incessantly as he gets closer to one nipple before he wraps it in his hot mouth.

A moan shakes from your mouth, unexpected and loud into the quiet air of this monolith room. Your hands reach up to card in his golden locks, they’re warm and impossibly silky, the flame colored ends burning more than the rest. You let the pain of it singe your fingertips, basking in the euphoric pleasure pain of your skin growing back and burning all over again.

His hand envelops your other breasts, his sharp nails teasing your nipple before he drags it slowly across your areola. Your fingers tighten in his hair from the pain, your core dripping on the marble altar you sit on.

“You taste wonderful, little angel,” he purrs into the wet skin of your breast, pulling away before he gently nudges you onto your back. Your wings stretch languidly to make you more comfortable against the flat surface. The urge to cover yourself is not as insistent as before, the desire eating you up without reservation. “But I must taste more.”

He leans over the altar you lay on, kissing your lips gently before his tongue slides along the skin of your neck and down your body. It’s longer than a mortal tongue, and when they circle your nipples again, you shake at the pronged tip that flicks your bud.

He worships down your torso to dip in your navel, over the dip in your hips before his hands push your legs up onto his shoulders and he licks your sopping core from bottom to top.

You arch sharply, teeth digging into your bottom lip in a futile attempt to stop the moan from shooting from your throat.

You’ve watched the humans many times in the shadows, transfixed when their mouths worship these parts of their partner, but to experience it yourself? To feel the demons tongue part your folds and circle the bud at the top that makes you cry into your pillows at night. Heaven has hidden away beautiful pleasure.

“Look at how much you give me,” he whispers, kissing the inside of your thigh before you feel his tongue on you again, prodding your entrance that you’ve sunken your fingers into at night.

You bite down on your lip, shivering in pleasure as he prods further and further, your legs widening with each current of pleasure until he sinks his wide tongue inside of you. You taste copper from your bleeding lip that heals over quickly, your bare feet digging into the demon’s broad shoulders as he feasts on your essence.

With every gasp, your wings quiver in anticipation, curling into your body to protect yourself from a euphoria that is growing so quickly in your stomach.

“Please,” you whisper in disbelief, hands twisting his hair with your divine strength. He hums in satisfaction, satisfied with what you give and digging for more.

His tongue strokes inside of you with purpose, caressing something along the roof of your hot walls, his nose brushing your bundle of nerves once, twice, the pleasure enough to make your jaw drop, to make you pant feverishly into the air, to make your back arch until the base of your spine hurts as you come apart by the seams.

Your release makes you cry out into the air, the sound brushing along the monolith, the constant pulsing stopping to take in your pleasure before it resumes its steady pulse.

He rises slowly as you struggle to catch your breath, his golden eyes tracing over your shivering form from head to toe. His grey obsidian hands slide up your trembling thighs as he leans over you.

“Beautiful,” he purrs before he kisses your lips. You swallow your taste—tangy and rich like the divinity that courses through your veins. “But I must have all of you to make this complete.”

All of you?

You look down to find that his pants are gone, starlight shining bright on his hips that seem to point down to the member that hangs between his thighs. Your eyes widen—he’s definitely bigger than mortals, purplish veins that trail along the sides, a tip that is darker than his grey, the skin flickering with those shimmering stars you are growing to love.

He’s beautiful, and without thinking you reach out to touch. He’s impossibly hard but also incredibly soft, and you watch in fascination as his dark flame-colored wings expand and shake in supplication.

He leans his head back to the grey skies, swallowing deeply at your touch and there’s a sense of power you feel. To know that with a single touch you can make this powerful demon fracture just a little.

He wraps his hand around yours to stop you, pulling you up so that he can sit on the altar instead. Even though he’s tall, you’re able to reach up and wrap your arms around his neck.

Your wings stretch and flap behind you, sparse feathers wafting in their air to fall around you both in white, grey, and black. Even though you feel loose from your first release, there is a subtle power that thrums with every flap of your wings.

You look at the monolith again. The pulse has picked up steadily, seeming to match your own heartbeat. Maybe there is a connection to the power inside of it and what might be coursing through you now.

As you tail up the length of it until it disappears into the grey clouds, you think faintly of those who cast you out. The pleasure fractures a little with pain, your eyebrows furrowing in disappointment.

“My angel,” he calls to you, softly, turning your gaze back to him. His golden and flame locks are messy, his horns pulsing with shimmering light, the navy and gold armor gone so that he is as naked as you are. “That pain that you feel will go away with time. I will make sure you will never know it again.”

The promise fills you with hope, and the press of his lips to yours makes the sordid thoughts fall to the wayside, your pleasure humming to life at the base of your spine.

The touch of his fingers to your core makes you whine into his mouth, pulling away with only a gossamer of saliva connecting you both. He strokes your bud, drinking your sighs and moans as your thighs and stomach tighten, your fingers digging into his soft shoulders.

He pulls you up onto your knees, your wet entrance brushing the thick tip of him before he guides you onto him slowly. It’s a stretch, far thicker than your fingers and foreign inside of you.

The initial pain makes you gasp, tears pricking your eyes. It feels as if you’re being split in two from your hips, torn apart with a strength that only makes you shiver and moan.

One hand slides along one wing to soothe you, his lips pressing to your neck. Eventually, the pain gradually melts into pleasure, his hands possessive on your hips as he guides you with careful restraint. You quake at the feel of him inside of you, stretching and molding your muscles in each euphoric stroke.

“Perfect,” he breathes against your shoulder. “Look how well you take me.” His voice resonates deep in your core, a sound that both terrifies and entices you, a forbidden melody that you are slowly learning the notes to.

You whimper in response, relishing in his praise as you begin to move faster on top of him, bouncing with a newfound sense of purpose. Your wings flap with more insistence, stretching and bending with the power that begins to seep out of your skin, white feathers less in abundance with each flap.

The demon’s nails dig into your waist and you sigh into the pain, picking up the pace until you’re not sure where he stops and you begin.

The power takes you higher and higher, your skin breaking into a sheen of sweat, your gasps dying in the air as you pant and moan above him. The pleasure at the base of your spine heats quickly, bubbling with sticky satisfaction as it slides down your vertebrae and into your core.

“That’s it,” he growls, nails digging into the flesh of your cheeks, canting your hips toward him so the tip of his member brushes that spot on your upper walls once again.

You choke on a moan, head thrown back in bliss, nails dragging down the solid muscle of his chest. Your wings curl around you, dark feathers replacing white with each thrust.

“Transform for me completely. Embrace what you truly are.”

“Yes,” you hiss, your mouth falling open as you struggle for breath. Your core tightens around him, the bundle of nerves shaking even untouched, and you’re falling, you’re falling, you’re—

The demon shifts again, his member leaving your hot core and denying you of release, your hands now pressed to the altar as you’re bent over. You whine in annoyance, looking over your darkening wings at his large form as he heaves with breath.

He regards you with a dark look, one that shows just how capable he is of picking you apart, and your mouth fills with saliva at the thought.

He draws one leg up onto the altar before sliding into you once more without pretense. You groan around the stretch of him, marveling at the pinch of pain that bleeds into overwhelming pleasure as he picks up his pace inside of you.

What starts out as reverent and gentle soon turns feverish. His strokes are deeper, his hips snapping against your open legs, a haze of pleasure clouding every crevice of your mind as he kisses spots inside of you that makes you groan, hiss, and whine.

The monolith picks up in speed, pulse matching your heartbeat as you climb higher and higher up a ladder of darkness that has always been denied.

You don’t know why, you don’t know where it comes from, but the last slivers of your salvation slide to the surface, tickling your throat one last time before they leave your soul forever.

“Please, please, Father,” you moan, eyes filling with tears of satisfaction as your body jerks with every harsh thrust of the demon behind you. One of his hands weaves into your locks, curling tight before yanking you back to him, arching until our stomach presses into the altar. “Forgive me.”

“We will have none of that,” he warns, out of breath. “You seek forgiveness to someone who is not listening. You pray to someone who has cast you out. And here you are. Under me. Calling for him as you weep on my cock in pleasure.”

His sharp fingers slide down your hip to circle over your bud of nerves and you cry out, tears streaming down your face, power radiating up your limbs. “Keep moaning, little angel. Keep begging.” He leans over you, pressing his hot chest into your wings, his breath hot on your ear as the tips of his pronged tongue slide along your lobe. “In your eyes you are soiled. Filthy. And my sweet goddess loves it, doesn’t she?”

You shake your head to deny, deny, deny. But a hard thrust, a stroke of his thick cock that kisses your cervix, and you sob in the pain that molds into pleasure. Your nipples brush against the cold marble, each icy touch shockwaves down your spine.

“I’ve watched you, my dove. When you study the humans in their pleasure. I’ve seen the way your pupils dilate. I’ve smelt the essence between your thighs. You dream of this don’t you?”

You try to whisper your Father’s name one last time, to show with your last breath of divinity that you were an angel who worked hard.

“You won’t say his name here anymore. Not in my realm—in our realm. Not in my arms while you cum on my cock. The only name you will moan and beg and plead is mine.”

Your wings flap in reverence, responding to his demands as they stretch around you. No longer are your feathers white, now they are inky black, as dark as midnight, as mysterious as the darkness you peer into.

The monolith quickens, a hummingbird’s wings, the bright core sliding up and down the tree-like structure and bleeding with vibration through the ground and up the altar.

Even as your mind tries to deny what you are becoming, your soul speaks otherwise, your core clenches around him unwilling to let go. The demon behind you grunts with each thrust, low and seductive on the back of your neck, his nose smelling the skin.

“I can’t—” you choke, fingers sliding on the altar from your sweat. “Please.”

“Please what?” he groans.

“More, please more, more, more,” you beg, words and resolve splintering in your throat as he rewards you with deeper thrusts, each one making you see the stars that shimmer along his skin.

“Say my name,” he demands, one hand sliding up your throat. You gasp at the subtle pressure on each side, not enough to do anything, but enough to make a dark current of pleasure pulse inside of you. “Let the skies above hear who you belong to now.”

You don’t know where the name comes from. He’s never given it to you. You’ve never asked. But somewhere, deep down in some ancient place in your soul, you’ve always known all along. Known him.

“Nanami,” it falls from your lips like a broken prayer. “Nanami, please—”

His teeth graze your pulse, sharp fangs dragging along your skin as pleasure builds in your body beyond reason. Your wings spread impossibly wide, your skin hums in arousal, hot and stinging.

The monolith’s pulse quickens with you, its light growing brighter as the power in your body travels through your veins to complete a transformation you can feel in your fallen grace. Even with every harsh pump of his hips, you feel worshiped. Worshipped by his hands. Worshipped on this altar in front of a monolith that watches over you both.

“You were an offering—a gift to me. Molded by the heavens. And now you’re mine. And your Father sent you to me,” he growls against your throat. “My dark goddess.”

His thrusts grow harder, more desperate, each one a brand searing its mark into your very soul. A mix of your essence and his precum pools on the altar where you are joined. The last embers of your angelic resistance crumble completely, replaced by an insatiable hunger that mirrors his own.

“Let go. Surrender to me completely.”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

That hot lava at the base of your spine explodes like a volcano of unholy fire as his teeth sink into your neck, marking you as his. Your release bursts from you, your core squeezing his thick member, your muscles seizing as your mouth falls open and your cries echo through the realm as divine light fractures into starry darkness.

All of your abilities that have been repressed swirl within the darkness and mix with the forbidden powers awakening within you. It feels like the very essence of your being is changing, transforming into something wild, a reflection of the demon who guided you with a sultry voice down this path.

You feel a rivulet of your blood trail down the side of your neck from his puncture, blazing with the essence of darkness that now pumps through your veins. He releases his teeth from your neck and turns your head to him with more force than necessary, sliding his tongue into your mouth as he kisses you senseless.

You can’t breathe, your body is loose, your grip on the edge of the altar slipping with each relentless thrust but you love it. Every smack of heavy balls against your clit, every slide of sweaty muscles of his chest against your wings and back, every pulse of your cunt around his cock.

Nanami pulls away breathless, the hand around your throat tightening imperceptibly, the sharp tips of his fingernails breaking skin. His pronged tongue slides along your cheeks to collect your fallen tears.

Every noise that leaves your mouth is against everything you hold dear, a sound of sin, debauchery and lust.

“I’m yours,” you whisper against his lips, your breath punching out of you with each desperate thrust. Nanami’s eyebrows furrow and his nose crinkles with a snarl, his wings pulsing with flame as his release climbs up his body as well. “I’m yours, Nanami.”

“Take my essence, little angel,” he demands, biting your lip until you draw blood. You lick up the coppery tang, falling into the prickly grip on your neck as he takes what he needs from you. “One day, when you have ruled with me for centuries to come, when you are one in your skin, perhaps my essence will take root.”

Your eyes widen at the implication, your soul no longer quivering in blasphemy but in satisfaction. How you would love that. One day. With him.

“Yes, Nanami,” you whisper into him, accepting one more kiss as he strokes once, twice, and a final time before he shivers from head to toe and groans with deep pleasure into your mouth.

His darkness seeps into the remnants of your light, a forbidden dance of shadow and flame now made true. He pumps hot semen into you, far too much for comfort and your essence combines with his demonic energy, feeding the power that still ebbs in your veins.

He falls into you, his hold on your throat vanishing to slide down to your naked stomach, pressing to the spot where he is still lodged inside. You reach back, carding your hands through his burning hair, reveling in the shiver he gives you.

He pulls out of you slowly and your cunt clenches around nothing, legs shaking at the feel of his semen dripping from you. He does not entertain the mess but gathers you in his arms, carrying you past the defiled altar and monolith that has fallen into a gentle ebb once more. The obsidian floors open up again, the thin layer of water rising within a large tub of water that steams with inviting heat.

He sinks you both into the steaming water, your new darkened wings flapping at the moisture that touches your plumage. When he dips your head beneath the surface, it feels like baptism in reverse—washing away heaven’s hold rather than blessing you with it. When you emerge, you feel reborn, your shame and disappointment for your former family now washed away.

You sigh at the effect hot water on your muscles, melting into the large expanse of his chest. He does not speak and you do not ask questions, content to watch him manifest a tray of oils and soaps that smell of green tea and burning honey.

He plucks a marble comb from the tray and drags it gently through your curls, each stroke bending with the texture of your hair to guide without tangle, each pass worship and calming.

Once your hair is untangled and silky, he washes your skin with the soap and oils that smell of him. You study him openly now—the way constellations shift across his skin, how his golden eyes hold both demonic power and intelligent precision, the careful way he maintains order even in darkness.

He dresses you in black fabric that flows like liquid shadow, clinging to your curves like his possessive touch. Instead of the starry sky, the black material is adorned by golden accents that match his eyes and armor.

The altar recedes into the floor and in its place, two large thrones emerge. Carved from pure white marble shot through with veins of gold, they’re identical in height and grandeur—a statement of what he promised you—equal rule.

Dark vines curl around their bases, blooming with black roses, while plush velvet cushions in deep navy make them as comfortable as they are magnificent.

He throws you an inquisitive rise of his brow, what was once used to pick you apart upon first meeting him, now make your lips curl in a smile. You pretend to ponder which you will choose, humming noncommittally before you sink into one chair, sighing into the softness around your body and wings.

Nanami bends down, taking a hand in both of his before he kisses your palm. “You look magnificent,” he purrs, your hand still in his while he sits on his throne.

With a snap of his fingers, the garden walls disappear, revealing the vast landscape that was once shrouded in horror and fear when you first arrived.

Now it appears without malice, without misery or shame, but of exotic greenery and souls who have been neglected for only choosing a path that feels wrong even though it is right.

The heavens is but a distant memory now, infinitesimal in the many years you will continue to exist. Now, you bask in the new power in your bones, in the brush of Nanami’s lips to your palm once more.

As the stars on his skin ebb and fade with light, you take in the muscles of his torso, the strength in his movements as he worships you without speaking.

It has taken eons to get to this moment, but some part of you preens with the satisfaction that Nanami has always been watching, waiting for you to come to him.

Thanks for reading and Happy Halloween!

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p0orbaby · 13 days ago

Text

It’s Called Free Fall

summary: therapy makes you realise a lot of things

warnings: none

a/n: there’s not actually any alexia in this, but she is mentioned

word count: 2.7k

The therapist’s office feels like it’s been curated for someone far more refined than you—someone who actually takes their therapy seriously, rather than as an ironic lifestyle choice. The walls are a pale, flat grey that veers perilously close to lifeless, and there’s this overwhelming sense of emptiness, like everything here exists for display rather than use. The chairs, two narrow-backed leather things angled just slightly towards each other, appear less like furniture and more like sculptures. You imagine some recent graduate from a New York art school positioned them just so, meticulously arranging each one to make sure it induced the precise mix of discomfort and luxury.

The table between you and Dr. Vargas is another matter entirely—a sleek slab of polished mahogany, thick enough that you could lean your entire weight on it without even a squeak of protest. Its surface is bare except for a single leather-bound notebook, a fountain pen and a ceramic dish, all aligned to a degree that feels almost militaristic. There’s not a single loose thread in the rug, not a fingerprint on the glass of the one window facing out onto a garden view that’s suspiciously verdant for the middle of winter.

Even the fern, perched in the corner like it’s waiting for its close-up, seems too green, too lush. It’s ridiculous, but it’s all part of the aesthetic, this carefully curated minimalism, the kind of cultivated restraint that says, “We don’t need embellishments. We’re here for the truth.” You’re here, supposedly, for honesty and revelation. But to you, it all feels a bit too staged, like a hotel that boasts a “homely charm” but is actually cold and sterile beneath the surface. You suspect Dr. Vargas might even mist the plant herself in some sacred ritual of maintenance, a sort of last-minute grounding exercise to fill the silence between clients.

You settle back in the chair, draping one leg over the other, and make a mental note to mention it next time you’re in some magazine interview. “Austere,” you’d say, “but in a chic way. I once caught my therapist hand-polishing the leaves of a houseplant.” You let yourself savour the image for a moment, glancing at the fern, which seems to return your gaze with silent judgement.

Dr. Vargas has her pen poised in that infuriatingly neutral way, a half-smile that somehow manages to be both welcoming and utterly unreadable. She’s mastered this look; the expression that says, I’m here for you while also suggesting she’s already a step ahead, already written your entire profile out in her head, neatly categorised into sub-headings like “Avoidant Tendencies” and “Control Issues.”

You begin with a sigh, throwing a glance at the ceiling in mock contemplation. “I’ve been thinking about another place. A chalet, maybe. Something in the mountains this time.” You pause, letting the idea sit, feigning like it’s just occurred to you. “Somewhere remote, where people can’t just… get to me”

You’re fully aware that she sees right through it. This isn’t her first rodeo; you’re sure she’s dealt with hundreds like you before, masters of diversion who fill sessions with banalities rather than facing anything real. But Dr. Vargas, in all her maddening professionalism, gives nothing away. She just tilts her head, the soft scratch of her pen against her notebook barely there as she writes something down.

“A place to escape,” she offers back to you in that maddeningly placid tone.

“Yes. Escape,” you echo, knowing full well the word holds no weight here. Escape from what, exactly? You let your leg bounce a little, as if the rhythm might lend some gravity to your words. “And there’s this new project I’m in talks with—A24, actually. They want me to do something… serious. A proper rebrand. Gritty. Artistic.” You drawl out “artistic” with the faintest of smirks, like you’re amused at the thought of it all. A lifetime of playing these games, and you’re practically a pro by now.

Dr. Vargas’s face betrays not a flicker of interest or amusement. She simply nods, that little encouraging tilt of her head again, like she’s waiting for you to get to the real point, the heart of the matter. But you’re not giving in so easily.

“It could be big, you know,” you continue, lifting your chin a fraction. “And I’ve got Alexia, of course.” The name slips out, deliberately nonchalant, though you feel its weight instantly, like it’s left a mark on the air between you.

Dr. Vargas raises her eyebrows, ever so slightly. “Alexia,” she repeats, not quite a question, not quite a statement. Just… acknowledgment, and yet it still feels as if she’s plucked something out of you without you realising. You don’t like it, the way she turns your own words against you.

“Yeah,” you say, shrugging. “She’s… brilliant. On the field, off it. You know, she’s—” You trail off, allowing a smirk to play on your lips. “Not bad to look at, either”

She gives no reaction, doesn’t even break eye contact. You imagine her poker face would rival that of any seasoned card shark. But it’s her silence that presses at you, coaxing out more than you intend to reveal. It’s a trick she’s used before, and yet here you are, willingly falling into it.

“Honestly,” you continue, almost laughing as if sharing some private joke, “you should see her after a match. There’s this… intensity, this rawness. Shirt off, sweat-drenched, eyes still blazing from the game. It’s… invigorating.” You roll the word around like a fine wine, savouring it as you go. “It’s like the universe threw me a bone, just when I was getting bored”

Dr. Vargas finally moves, a slight shift of her head, her mouth curving up in a near-smile. “And yet, you’re here”

Her words drop between you like a carefully placed stone. You scoff, rolling your eyes, but there’s something in her expression—an almost imperceptible softness that somehow feels like an accusation. “Therapy’s a hobby,” you shrug, leaning back, as if the very idea of anything deeper is laughable. “I’m always in therapy, Doc. News flash”

“Yes,” she agrees smoothly, not missing a beat, “but you don’t usually bring her up”

“Come on,” you counter, with a smirk that’s designed to look careless, “I bring her up all the time”

“Not like this”

Her voice is calm, almost gentle, but her gaze sharpens, pinning you in place. You feel a spike of irritation, or maybe it’s something else. You cast a look towards the fern, now faintly silhouetted by the afternoon sun, its shadow long and narrow across the wall, an unasked-for third party in this strange little dance. The absurdity of the whole scene hits you, but before you can fully detach, she’s speaking again.

“You’re talking about her differently. More… openly.” There’s no edge to her tone, no overt judgment, yet it feels like she’s peeled back a layer, glimpsed a part of you you hadn’t meant to reveal.

In the moments that follow, you stub out your cigarette on the pristine ceramic dish Vargas keeps on the table, the one she’s claimed is “not for smoking” but never actually moved after that one session. You’ve taken it as tacit permission, though you know damn well it irritates her—just another way to test the boundaries in a room that prides itself on having none. That’s half the point of these sessions: see how far you can stretch them. How much she’ll let you say, or not say. And you’ve mastered the art of saying absolutely nothing, all while filling the space with empty words.

Dr. Vargas doesn’t speak, doesn’t press, which is almost worse than if she did. There’s just the persistent softness in her eyes, the quiet implication that she understands more than you’d prefer. You remember Alexia’s eyes looking at you like that once, right after you’d tried to make some grand point about the nature of relationships—one of those pseudo-philosophical tangents you like to go on. She’d just looked at you, with a kind of bemused patience that felt a little too genuine, a little too close to knowing you.

You roll your shoulders, shake off the memory. But it clings.

“Alright,” you say, letting the smoke spill out as you form the words. “Maybe I don’t do ‘love’ like everyone else. I’m not here for a candlelit dinner and a mortgage. I’m not,” you add with a quick laugh, “one of those people who turn into some sap over a nice couple’s holiday in Santorini”

Dr. Vargas gives a small nod, an acknowledgement rather than agreement, her expression neutral but open, giving you room to continue.

“But, yes. Fine.” You take another drag, a deliberate pause. “Maybe I… care about her. I care about her. She’s different, alright?”

“Different how?” she asks gently, with an infuriatingly patient tone.

You groan, shifting in your seat. “Come on, don’t make me quantify it. That’s your thing, not mine.” You know you’re stalling, using your usual deflections, but there’s an itch underneath it, a part of you that feels raw just acknowledging that Alexia is, in fact, ‘different.’

You can feel her eyes on you, waiting for you to take the bait you’ve laid out for yourself.

“Fine, you want specifics?” you sigh, feigning annoyance, though you know you’re the one who’s led the conversation here. “She… laughs at my worst jokes. Like, really laughs. Not in a polite way, but genuinely, like she thinks I’m the funniest person alive, even when I’m barely trying. It’s stupid, really, but it gets me”

“And how does that make you feel?” Vargas leans forward, like she’s zeroing in on something significant.

You chuckle, low and dismissive, waving the question off with your cigarette. “How do you think it makes me feel? It’s… fine. Nice. A bit strange, maybe. I’m not used to being seen like that.” You pause, the weight of that admission lingering in the air between you.

She doesn’t react, doesn’t push; she just lets the moment settle, knowing there’s more.

You sigh, smoke curling up around you, as your mind goes back to other little things—the way she has this weird ritual of picking all the green M&Ms out of the bag and tossing them to you, claiming they’re “bad luck.” How she insists on reading the morning news out loud, in that silly, exaggerated announcer voice, just to make you laugh while you pretend to read emails. Or how she makes you tea at exactly the right temperature, handing you the mug with a grin like she’s just given you a priceless gift. These are things that, on the surface, should be forgettable, the kind of mundane moments that fade. But they don’t, do they? Not with her.

Dr. Vargas’s voice interrupts your reverie, soft but insistent. “You’re smiling”

You realise she’s right; you’re smiling without even meaning to, and it’s a small, stupid smile, the kind that feels too open. You try to erase it, but it’s too late. The vulnerability’s already there, a quiet confession written across your face.

You roll your eyes, more at yourself than at her. “Alright, so what? So she’s… alright, she’s fun. She’s got that energy, you know, that lightness. It’s kind of… refreshing”

The words slip out unbidden, and you feel a pang of something resembling regret. Refreshing. A word that implies something else by omission—that most of your life, most people you’ve known, have been exhausting. The irony isn’t lost on you: someone so completely different from your own brand of detached sarcasm, from your carefully cultivated ennui, has managed to slip under the radar and wedge herself into your carefully controlled life.

Dr. Vargas watches, her silence pressing you forward.

“Look, I don’t think about it too much,” you say, trying to inject a casual note into your tone. “I don’t need to psychoanalyse every smile, every inside joke. I’m not here to have my relationship broken down into neat little psych terms”

“Maybe you should think about it,” Vargas says gently. “Maybe that’s why you’re here”

You scoff, but there’s a softness in the sound, a hint of resignation. Because she’s right, isn’t she? You came here because, as much as you don’t want to admit it, this thing with Alexia has started to matter, in a way that’s both terrifying and strangely compelling. You’ve always prided yourself on staying a step removed, on being a spectator in your own life, observing rather than fully engaging. But with her, you’re finding it harder to keep that distance.

“Fine,” you mutter, leaning back, letting your head rest against the chair, staring up at the ceiling as though the answers might be written there. “Maybe she’s… special”

The words feel strange in your mouth, too vulnerable, too open. You don’t say “special” often, especially not in this context. But there it is, a reluctant admission.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with her,” you continue, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “She’s great—don’t get me wrong. She’s amazing in bed. I can’t remember the last time someone made me cum so much. And she’s got this thing about her, you know? Like this fire, this intensity. It’s like when she looks at me, she’s looking right through me. And yeah, I guess that’s… intoxicating. But that’s all it is. Right?”

Dr. Vargas nods, a small, subtle gesture. “Why does that scare you?”

You don’t answer right away. Instead, you watch the smoke dancing away from your cigarette, dissipating into the air, leaving nothing behind but a faint, lingering scent. You think about what it is you’re so afraid of—because there’s something there, something you can’t quite name, a sense that if you let this thing with Alexia continue, it might change you in ways you’re not ready for.

“Because I don’t do… attachment,” you say finally, the words coming out sharper than intended. “I’ve built a life that doesn’t depend on anyone else. And she’s… she’s a complication”

You can feel Vargas watching you, sensing the weight of what you’re not saying, the unspoken truth that this isn’t just about Alexia, that it’s about something deeper, a fear of vulnerability, of losing control. She doesn’t push, though; she just waits, letting the silence do the work for her.

After a long pause, you take a breath, letting your gaze drift to the fern by the window, its leaves glossy and perfect, so meticulously maintained it almost looks fake. You wonder if it’s ever felt the strain of trying to keep everything together, to present a flawless exterior while something more fragile lurks beneath the surface.

“You know,” you say, almost to yourself, “it’s funny. For the longest time, I thought love was just a distraction, a temporary fix for people who couldn’t handle being alone.” You take another drag from your cigarette, exhaling slowly. “But with her, it’s… it’s different. It’s like she makes everything brighter, sharper, like she’s tuned into some frequency I didn’t know existed”

Dr. Vargas doesn’t respond, just nods, letting you continue.

“And the worst part?” You chuckle, a self-deprecating sound. “The worst part is that she’s getting to me. She’s in my head, even when she’s not there. I find myself thinking about her in the middle of the day, wondering what she’s up to, if she’s thinking about me too”

There’s a fragility in the admission, a crack in the armour you’ve built around yourself. And it terrifies you, this sense of letting someone in, of letting them get close enough to matter.

You stub out your cigarette, watching the last curl of smoke dissipate into the air. It feels like a metaphor for something, though you’re not sure what.

Dr. Vargas gives you a small, knowing smile. “Maybe falling in love isn’t as bad as you think it will be,” she says gently.

You shrug, trying to play it off, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s right. Because for all your detachment, all your carefully cultivated distance, there’s something about Alexia that feels like home, like she’s a part of you you didn’t realise was missing.

“Maybe,” you say, the words soft, barely audible.

Love. The word lingers like an uninvited guest. You try to dismiss it, try to laugh it off, but it keeps creeping back in.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #fcb femeni #fcb femeni x reader #espwnt #espwnt x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso community

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