#the any% (just finish the test) is like 20 seconds long bc you just start a warp core meltdown

[the-faultofdaedalus]

kobiashi maru hitless NC/NW% speedrun WR (4:23.22)

[jonnnysuh]

Never Not - Park Jinyoung

Pairing: idol!Jinyoung x gender neutral reader

Summary: Your bad day is turned around when your childhood best friend, Jinyoung, returns to your hometown and takes you on a tour of your favourite memories together.

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: suggested sexual experience

Word Count: 4.3k

Requested by: Anon

A/N: Hi guysssss. I took a small break from tumblr bc I got super busy with work. I haven’t written something like this in a while, but I actually loved how it turned out. I recommend listening to Never Not by Lauv to get into the mood <33

Effort was hard to make these days. Even the way you walked had an unmistakable slouch. Your exhaustive strides were just a shallow reminder that there used to be a hop in your step. Five more minutes and you were free from the shackles of work. Free to figure out what to make for dinner, and appease the gurgles of your stomach.The seconds on the point of sale system didn't seem to move fast enough as you folded the customer's final item and shoved it into a bag.

When you were a kid, no one told you how exhausting being an adult was, and thus it became something to look forward to. You were so caught up on getting that first kiss, sneaking out to go to parties, seeing people that your parents didn't approve of, that you didn't realize that life didn't slow down from there. It was like you blinked, and you were no longer 16. Instead, you were twenty-something perpetually feeling like life was just an endless pit of "what ifs" and building up the courage to make something of yourself. Another mindless "Have a good day." escaped your lips as you bid a customer bye for the nth time that day. You wondered how many of your years would waste away telling others to have a good day, when you yourself hadn't had one in a while.

You pressed your fingers against your temple to sooth a small growing headache. Working in retail for as long as you had, you knew that the s-curved line of people didn't stop for your discomfort. With a fake smile on your face, you welcomed the next few customers as your eyes wandered around the store looking for the person who was going to take over for the next hour. Fifteen minutes past the hour, your replacement finally came. Externally, you wanted to scream and ask them what took you so long? but you knew that would only make you as good as the worst customer. Graciously, you nodded at them, before walking away to the back room to fetch your things and head out.

...

You stood against the wall at the bus shelter shivering from the cool summer breeze that was disguising just how rapidly autumn was truly coming. Today probably wasn't the best day to forget your coat.  You rubbed your arms for warmth, taking micro footsteps in place.  The pain in your feet made you romanticize the comfort of the sturdy old bus seats as a place of rest. You felt your phone in your pocket vibrate, but you let it ring out. You were determined to get a seat on this bus. A deep sigh escaped you as you surveyed the density of the crowd on the platform- the ride home was definitely going to be longer than usual. When the bus arrived, you queued behind a long line of people. Your phone rang a second time, at this point the crowd was getting larger and you knew you weren't going to get a seat on this bus.

PRIVATE CALLER 

"Hello?" you pressed your phone to your ear. Sometimes your mother used phone booths to reach you, so you expected her voice to be on the other end of the line. "I'm offended I had to call you twice for you to pick up."  The voice was much deeper, and the delivery much more lighthearted than anything that would've came out of your mother.  The absence of a greeting was distinct and direct, but no matter, you knew exactly who this was.

You felt the tenseness of your shoulders drop with just the sound of this voice. "If I had definitely known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up, Mr. Private caller." you jest with the phone  pressed between your ear and the crook of your shoulder.

"You know, I was gonna suggest that I pick you up, but just for that comment, I change my mind."

You poke your tongue at your cheek, coyly. For all the changes that occurred in your life, for some reason you could depend on Jinyoung's quick wit and humour to hit the spot even after all this time.

"That's fine, I just finished work so I was thinking of just going home anyways."  You had no idea he was even back in South Korea. Last you heard, he was on tour somewhere in North America. More than that, you couldn't even remember when the last time you actually talked was. You were curious about what he was up to these days, but you you knew any hint of urgency in your voice would lead to incessant teasing on his part. The line progressed slightly, but you still didn't feel any closer to the entrance of the bus.

  "I'm about to get on a bus home." 

"Well, don't get on." 

"If I don't get on then you're gonna have to repay me for the fare I paid to even get here." You eyed the bus reaching its capacity, and stepped aside. You twisted your fingers in hope that he was being 100% serious, otherwise you were going to have to wait out for the 6:30pm bus.

"I can't believe the cost of your attention is only $2. Do better." the voice quipped. 

"Okay, Jinyoung I guess I'll just get on, then." you threatened, although you had no intention of boarding the departing bus.

"Fine, fine. I'll pay for your fare. Just wait for me."

...

The sky had darkened tenfold since you hung up from Jinyoung's impromptu call. The streetlights glowed gold against the lavender backdrop of the sky. You sat on the bus shelter bench, swinging your feet back and forth as you waited for him. If he took even a minute longer, you vowed to somehow become the president of the Park Jinyoung hate club. Of course, you wouldn't actually, but the idea became more appealing the longer you waited. 

You weren't one to go on spontaneous outings- at least not since your teenage years. Recently, you followed the strict routine of work, home, sleep, and to stray from it seemed pointless. But the fact that he even thought of you when he came back home to South Korea was still not something you could wrap your head around.

In the distance, a glow of headlights appeared, stopping perfectly adjacent to your bus stop. The window rolled down, and there appeared Jinyoung's face in all its glory. To say all the words in your vocabulary disappeared would be an understatement. A part of you doubted he would even follow through. Without missing a beat, he returned a look to you. "You just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna get in the car?"

...

Your backpack was sitting atop your lap, bouncing with the movement of the car. Jinyoung hung one hand over the steering wheel. The orange and purple of the sky twisting, and creating a brand new colour that only seemed to grace the skies at this hour. The music was unidentifiable, but the volume was low enough that you didn't even bother trying to figure it out.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked. 

"I worked, I told you that." you replied, matter-of-factly.

"And how was it?"

"I honestly can't tell the difference between this week and last week. Or even last month. Same old, same old. Annoying customers, stale lunch, forgot my jacket at home even though it's 15 fucking degrees outside." 

"Do you still work at that clothing store you started at when we were 20?"

  Your eyes shifted, following the ever-changing scenery of the highway. No idea where he was bringing you, and yet you were brought to comfort by Jinyoung's habits.  You knew he didn't have a drug deal, or a random party planned.  Jinyoung was always the type to be home before midnight. He was a self-proclaimed goody-two-shoes, but you weren't completely fooled. You knew he could bend the rules if it seemed to serve him.

  "That exact same one."

 "Anything else?"

  You looked at him, the shock settling in that he was really right next to you-- no longer just a figure on a billboard that you used to know. The changes of his physicality were subtle; his face was more defined, but his cheeks still carried the baby fat that had been there since childhood. The shadow of his facial hair loomed on his smooth skin. The mole on the top of his lip, not necessarily gone, but faded. He looked older, but the aura of his presence remained the same.

"And then I was dumb enough to get into a car with a stranger because he said he'd give me $2."

Jinyoung side eyed you, causing you to erupt in laughter. His glare was also unchanging. "Stranger? Your memory's fading already?" He shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you still had a few good years left."

  "Oh yeahhhhhh. Sorry Jinyoungie. Didn't recognize you with all the fame." you pinched and pulled on his ear- both things a relic of your grade school years. When you were kids, you never let him forget the age gap. Granted, it was only 3 days, but that gave you the freedom to refer to him however you pleased, while he was stuck with the honorifics.

As you let go, the curve of his ear flushed red. "OWW.” he cried, swatting your hand away. “You’re lucky I’m driving otherwise I would pull your hair.”

Being raised with Jinyoung meant that you were inseparable but kind of in the worst way. If Jinyoung got  a good mark on a test, his parents would immediately flaunt it to yours. If you wanted to sneak out, he was on your tail telling you to go back home. And if he knew you liked someone, then that person would know soon enough by the words of Jinyoung. All of that warranted ear pulling, and if you did something in retaliation he would pull your hair.

He was one of the few people in your life, who encapsulated a certain time of your life.  The time in your life when you were young, and the world felt so big and everything was possible.

  The car rocked back and forth as it shifted into the elevated ramp of a parking lot. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were.  He lingered in his seat before popping his seatbelt off and exiting the car. You followed him, swinging the passenger door open.

  "So you randomly called me because you wanted to hang out at the...convenience store?" you gestured to the old, orangey building. The bricks were chipped, and the fluorescent lights illuminated the outside through the big glass window.  You remember the days when you and Jinyoung would sit on the parking blocks and split a bag of chips until you were chased off the property by the owner. He pulled on the store door, pressing his back to it and letting you enter first. 

"Well, I wasn't going to come here until you started yanking my ears. That's when I knew you were hungry."

Without stopping, you weaved through the store until you reached aisle 3- the snack aisle had become a home to you and Jinyoung when you were growing up. In grade school, you were both fearful of what was beyond the boundaries of your home and school so you indulged in after school snacks at the convenience to talk about the latest happenings in your life. As you aged, it became the place of solace after exams, or the meetup location for last minute plans.

  He picked up a package of gummy worms, and shook them in your face. "Do you remember what happened the last time we ate theseeee?" Jinyoung smirked. For a moment, you were taken aback by how much he had grown. In your teens, you and Jinyoung met eye to eye. Now, you felt like you had to look up at him in order to be taken seriously.

  You crossed your arms, "Yeah, we ate them in the parking lot and you made me confess who I had a crush on." 

"Chan, right?" 

You nodded, with a sulk as you reminisced. "That wasn't fair."

 "Why? Do you still have a crush on him?" 

"I haven't thought about him in so long. You really think I'd have a lingering crush on a guy I haven't seen in years?"

Jinyoung shrugged, and shifted his feet. "You had a huge crush on him, though. You even stared at him like this." He rested his palm to his cheek, letting out a deep sigh while trying to maintain an enamoured expression. You snorted, hitting him on the chest. "You'd write his name all over your notebooks AND you bullied me into giving you one of my new ones." he added.

You let out a belly laugh. "And then I wrote his name all over that one too."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "They were premium quality notebooks. My aunt sent me them from the states!"

 "You had a kabillion of them. Besides, you pestered me for-like-ever to know who I liked, but you never even told me who you had a crush on." You grabbed the bag of gummy worms from his hand and placed it in your shopping basket. Your attention shifted, as you realized you should be in search of your favourite chocolates. You knew that you were far too old to be eating junk food for dinner, but there was something familiar about being hyped up on food that you knew would rot your insides. Your eyes landed on the top row of the wall, and before you could grab your favourite chocolates, Jinyoung stripped it from the wall and dropped it into the basket. He piled on a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and then you both ventured to the drink refrigerators.

  Both of you stared deeply at your drink options. On each level of the fridge, stood several different colourful drinks. If you knew Jinyoung, then you knew he would pick a Coke- it was something he swore by in your younger years. You hummed, mentally deciding between an iced tea or a vitamin water.  You weren't sure why it bothered you when Jinyoung picked up a Sprite, but you tried to hide your dismay. With an ice tea in hand, and a basket full of both of your favourite things, you made your way to the cashier.

  At the last moment, Jinyoung placed a bright yellow umbrella on the checkout counter. He looked down at you, surely, “You never know when it’s gonna rain.”

...

The following car ride to your next destination only lasted about 3 minutes before he parked on the side of the road and dragged you down the street, with the plastic bag full of your foods in hand. 

"I should've known you were going to bring me here." you said, strolling down the familiar gravel pathway towards your elementary school. All colour in the sky had disappeared now, finding it hard to see anything but the outline of each other and some features.

  Both of you settled on the grass field, onlooking the tall school building that was the foundation of your formal years. As soon as you opened the bag of chips, you found yourselves deep in conversation, talking about what life had been for him the last few years. You couldn't help but be in awe when he explained the rush he got when he got on stage, and how he got anxiety when he thought he wasn’t doing his best.  The candidacy of his thoughts drew you in and you were surprised that he trusted you with his secrets. 

All these years, you had always wondered what he was up to, if he was living a life far better than the one he left at home.  To everyone else, he was this huge pop star that had travelled the world 3 times over, but to you, he was your best friend who left home at 16. You had seen him through the bad hair phases, the adolescent temper tantrums, the voice cracks, and the questionable fashion choices both your parents had put you in.

  He leaned back on his arms as he gazed at the school. "Are you afraid of change?" You were silent for a moment as you thought. "On a scale of 1-10?" you rocked your head back and forth. "It's a 15."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. You held your legs to your chest, and looked at him. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it and looked smugly in the other direction. "Heyyy." you poked him repeatedly. "You can't just ask me that and not tell me why."

He enclosed his hand around your finger, forcing your poking to come to a halt. It felt like he was studying your face. Never in your life had you ever felt like you were under the scope of Jinyoung's gaze. The darkness of the sky acted as a mask, hiding your blushing face.

"It was the last thing I asked you before I left." he admitted. "I asked you that when things were about to change big time for us… I always wondered if you resented me for leaving you behind."

  The last day before Jinyoung left to become a full-time trainee, you two snuck on to this very same field. Both of you ran across the grass, picking up dandelions; believing that if you gathered enough and blew on them, that they would fuel your wishes.

  “You thought I could resent you?” He nodded. “Well, for starters, I hate your guts.” You replied sarcastically, causing him to look at the ground with embarrassment and your face softened at the sight of it.

  “You know what I wished for on all of those dandelions, Jinyoung?”

 “Not to fail the math exam.” Even in a soft moment, he couldn’t help but be sly. “No!” You exclaimed. 

“Well, you should’ve. You got a 48.” He sensed your killer look on him. “So what’d you wish for?”

You played with your fingers. You thought you’d take this secret to the grave. “I wished that you’d be successful in whatever you chose to do.” His eyes enlarged, alarmed at your confession. “but maybe I should’ve wished for the math thing.”

  Jinyoung giggled, inching closer to you so your legs were pressed against each other. 

“What did you wish for?” You asked. He smiled with the side of his mouth, shaking his head. 

“I wished that I’d always find my way back home.” “Oh goddd.” You gagged. “you’re so corny.”

 “What about you, huh? You used your wish on me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing against the school playground. 

“Hey, I might just be the reason why you’re famous.” You fought back.

You flipped your phone over, 7:53, the brightness of it only barely illuminating the dark. You thought about what you would be doing at this moment if you weren’t here, if he hadn’t picked you up.  Mmm probably falling asleep to a tv show. Probably dreading tomorrow. Probably not as happy.

"But what did I say? You know… the first time you asked me that question?” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how 16-year-old you answered.

  "You said you were excited to see who we were going to become.” The words of your younger self were so hopeful, yet your current self felt hopeless. Your expression sank, and Jinyoung offered a small smile to revive it. He felt guilty having asked you the question in the first place.

You sat in silence for a bit, dwelling on the excitement for life that you once had. Where was it? And how could you get it back?

“I feel like I’ve let myself down. I don’t even know who I am now.”

Jinyoung blinked slowly, watching his childhood best friend crumble. He rested a hand on your shoulder.  "I just look at you, and in so many ways you're the same. I still know what makes you laugh, and the way you say things. I can still pick out your favourite snacks, and know you’re gonna pull my ears when I do something to piss you off.” he yanked on yours softly. "Everything about you feels just how I left you. I feel my youth when I'm with you. But at the same time I’m comforted by how much you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” You shook your head no. “Do you remember how scared you were to even leave the house when we were kids? Now you live on your own. You never took anything seriously back then, but you’re now one of the hardest working people I know…” his voice softened. “And you let yourself be vulnerable with me when it used to take hours to drag it out of you.” You laid on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours, snuggling closer. “You fear change, yet you’re changing right before your own eyes. And maybe one day, I’ll come back here, and I won’t even be able to recognize who you’ve become.” You sniffled, the idea of Jinyoung not remembering you broke your heart. You held your chest. “But if that day does come, it’ll be okay. Because I know that the person that you’ve become will have it all figured out.  I’ll always be rooting for every single version of yourself even if it doesn’t include me.” You sobbed quietly, interlocking your fingers with his. He held your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. For once, there was an action not done out of habit or relic. It was an action evoked just for this moment, and it was a change that you didn’t mind.

…

Jinyoung held your hand, leading you down a narrow road a few minutes away. The sound of crickets, barking dogs, and distant vehicles could be heard as you stood in the middle of the road of your childhood neighbourhood.

  You hadn’t been here since you moved in 2016. You looked up at the large modern house that sat on what used to be two lots. Yours and Jinyoung’s childhood homes were purchased by a wealthy business man and demolished to build the business man’s dream home. You stared at the foreign house that sat on the place of your childhood dreams and frustrations.

  Jinyoung placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you at the exact halfway point between what was once his house and your house. You rubbed your arms as a gust of wind rushed by. Without thinking, Jinyoung slipped off his hoodie and placed it on top of your shoulders.

“I remember racing you down this street.” You piped up, pointing down the end of the road. Jinyoung always won that race. No one was faster than him on this street.

“I remember finding that stray puppy and fighting over who got to keep it.” He responded.

“It should’ve been me.” You bickered. Jinyoung laughed, amused at how you were always one to hold a grudge.

“Do you remember that day when it started raining soooo hard and we had to walk shoulder to shoulder under my umbrella?”

You nodded. “Ya, that was the same day with the gummy worms, you dummy.”

“So do you remember what happened right here?” He pointed at the exact spot you were standing. You racked your head for a memory, but nothing stood out to you clearly. You shook your head no. “We always said bye to one another here...but…?” you trailed off.

He took a step forward, both of you standing directly under the streetlight now. You watched his face light up as he likely played the moment back in his head. “So that day, standing under my umbrella, we were about to go our separate ways. You turned into me.”

He took another step closer, popping open the bright yellow convenience store umbrella and holding it over your heads.

You could see it now. It was drizzling so hard, even your hair wasn’t protected from getting soaked.   You wrapped your hands around the handle, just like how you did back then. Chest to chest, huddled under the umbrella. Jinyoung locked eyes with you, your heart beat faster.

“And you looked at me, and I swear I was going to say everything I wanted to tell you right then and there.” Your mouth opened in shock. “This was the place where I almost told you I loved you.”

You studied the eyes of the boy you watched grow up. He looked scared, but sure. There was no doubt in your mind that Jinyoung meant what he said. He lowered the umbrella, not letting his gaze veer from you.

  Your life was just a build up of what if’s and trying to gain the courage to make something of yourself… but you didn’t want that anymore. With your heart beating out of control, you leaned into him, taking the risk and kissing his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the heat of the kiss.

A round of thunder boomed above you, and little by little, raindrops began to pour from the sky.

You and Jinyoung separated to look up at the sky. “I did say, you never know when it’s gonna rain.”

You both ran for the car, shoulder to shoulder, under the umbrella. From your heads to your toes, you were soaked in the rain, but neither of you cared. You silently thanked the world for every bad thing that happened to you today that led to this.

…

You blinked your eyes awake, surveying the damp clothes strewn across your living room floor, and the heat of the bare body laying next to you on the couch. You stared at your sleepy childhood best friend, a smile spreading across your lips. This was a change you were ready for. 

[meimae]

Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;

First, little blog updates to get out of the way:

I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.

For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.

Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!

With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ! 

Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with  her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.

-☆-

April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.

Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!

ANIME

フルーツバスケット

Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2

A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!

魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.

四月は君の嘘

Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*

ホリミヤ

Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.

AUDIOBOOKS

氷菓

Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.

君の名は

I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.

BOOKS

キッチェン

Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.

君の膵臓を食べたい

Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on. 

三日間の幸福

Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.

DRAMA

花ざかりの君たちへ イケメンパラダイス

Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田 斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗 旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao 

ごくせん

Look, I see 松本 潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本 潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.

極主夫道

Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.

MANGA

Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.

おやすみプンプン

Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑

チェンソーマン

Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.

ちはやふる 中学生編

Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.

約束のネバーランド

Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.

ヲタクに恋は難しい

Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one) 

The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.

ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-

It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).

-☆-

I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.

VISUAL NOVELS

ISLAND

Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.

ファタモルガーナの館

Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far. 

I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.

Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue! 

-☆-

That’s it for this month!

If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.

[tsukishumai]

Date Night w/ Atsumu, Osamu, Suna

Warnings: Drinking, Smoking (weed)

A/N: repost bc I checked and my posts weren’t showing up in the tags 😭 sorry if you’ve seen it already.

Pls enjoy (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Atsumu

“Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise!”

Whenever Atsumu said those words, it meant one of two things: he’s put a lot of thought and effort into this and you’re about to have the best night of your life... or he’s done nothing, is winging it and kinda hoping for the best.

It’s been about a 50/50 success rate so you really don’t know why you’re gonna get.

“Tsumu, I swear to god, if this is like that one time by the beach...” “shut yer trap! We’re almost there!”

He opened the door to a small, studio like space, waving his hand and motioning for you to enter. You rolled your eyes at his theatrics but let out a tiny gasp once you were able to take in your surroundings.

Canvases perched up on easel stands lined the room, chairs set up in front with a little table next to the easel topped with paint supplies and wine glasses.

You turned to him excitedly. “Paint and wine night!?”

“Paint and wine!” Atsumu exclaimed, “Ya been complaining bout how ya miss doing art, so I thought we could do it together. I would’ve liked a private class, but they only did group sessions.”

“This is perfect,” you said, taking a seat and inspecting the supplies. Atsumu couldn’t help but puff out his chest in pride.

The room soon filled out with the other guests, the instructor coming in a few minutes after everyone’s arrived.

Atsumu chose a red wine, you chose a white. You were only supposed to be served by the glass but he insisted on a bottle each, and you weren’t the only one that has a hard time saying no to him.

“Babe,” he slurred halfway through the night, “is mine supposed to look like that?”

“Tsumu, we’re supposed to be painting an ocean... where did you get that red paint?” “I dunno, I just found it.”

The instructor tried to ignore the both of you giggling like idiots, but they had to step in when Atsumu started flinging paint at you with his brush.

“Miya-san, please stop chugging the wine.”

You chuckled at Atsumu grumbling next to you, trying to steady your hand while adding in your final details.

“Aaaand done!” Atsumu beat you to it. You take a second to glance at his canvas.

“Atsumu... what the hell is th-“ “it’s called abstract art, okay?! Ya normies wouldn’t get it!”

Where the hell did he learn ‘normies’ from?

You laughed at his canvas the entire way home, much to Atsumu’s chagrin.

Still, you hung it up on the wall by your bed, just so it could be the last thing you saw every night before you drifted off to sleep.

Osamu

“Where’d you hear about this?” Osamu asked reluctantly.

“I saw a post about in on Insta! My friends went last weekend, and they said it was amazing!” “I didn’t know you had friends?” “You know what, Samu...”

When you arrived at your destination, you couldn’t help but smile at the wide-eyed expression on your boyfriends face.

Hyogo was hosting a food festival, encouraging up and coming chefs to rent out booths and test out any and all unique recipes they could think off.

Booths on either side lined the road, crowds of people holding plates of food that Osamu didn’t even know existed.

“Which one should we try first?” You asked, but Osamu was already walking up to stand claiming to sell “Sushi Burritos”

“We have to do this strategically,” Osamu said, looking at the paper pamphlet he received from one of the information stands, “We should only get one thing from each stand so we have room for dessert. It looks like all the dessert stands are on this end, so we’ll just do one big circle.”

You nodded and gave him a salute, happy to be dragged around by the hand.

You’d never seen Osamu so animated, eyes darting from one booth to the next, ears practically steaming.

Your favorite was watching him take his first bite out of whatever creation you bought from the stall in front of you, his eyes would flutter close and the satisfied hum slipping from his mouth always brings your lips up to a smile.

“Let’s try this one next,” he said, leading you up to an onigiri stand.

The worker handed you a plate with three perfectly formed onigiri, your mouth watering at the scent wafting into your nostrils.

You took a bite... and another one... but your brows knitted together together after each chew

“Something wrong?” Osamu asked

You shook your head. “No, nothings wrong... it’s just, ever since I’ve had your onigiri, nothing else can really compare”

Osamu desperately hide the blush that was quickly spreading across his cheeks. “Oh really?”

“Yeah! You know, Samu, if you opened up an Onigiri shop, I bet it would be the best one in the country.”

Osamu laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he lead you to the next destination.

“You think so?” “I KNOW so.”

Osamu shook his head. “I couldn’t pull something off like that.”

You stopped in your tracks, tugging on his hand and forcing him to face you. “Osamu, I think you could do absolutely anything you set your mind to,” your tone was serious for a second before shooting him a wide grin, “and you would do it better than anyone!”

Osamu smiled, watching you run off to the next booth, thinking that if he had you by his side, then he could probably rule the world.

Suna

Suna has never ever striked you as the “hiking” type

So when he said he wanted to take you to a spot he used to frequent in high school, you were surprised, but oddly excited.

“How’d you find this place?” “You know... exploring.”

He took you to a park that was a 20 minute train ride from his apartment. The park was situated at the base of a mountain, and further back behind a canopy of trees was the beginning of a trail that you wouldn’t see if you didn’t know it was there.

Suna walked ahead, extending his hand behind him for you to take. He laced your fingers together, trudging along the path side by side.

The trail wasn’t really much of a hike as it is a walk. The terrain was relatively flat most of the way, green leaves bordering each side of the path.

Suddenly, Suna stopped, pulling you over to the side and moving aside branches and leaves.

“Rin? What are you doing?” You asked curiously, but he just said, “Trust me.”

Past the foliage was another trail, one that looks like it wasn’t meant to exist in the first place, formed only by repeating footprints that climbed up the slope.

Suna held out his hand for you to take, looking like he had every intention of climbing up the side of this muddy hill.

“Uhhhh, Rin, I don’t think we’re supposed to -“ “I said trust me, didn’t I?”

You grumbled at him, throwing snide remarks and thanking god that you wore an old pair of sneakers today.

It took about 10 minutes of climbing until you reached the top, walking past a couple of trees to reach a clearing.

In the middle of the clearing was a tree stump, different logs of various sizes encircling the stump. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what it was you were looking at.

“You brought me to your old high school smoking spot?” “Hell yeah, I did.”

Suna walked ahead of you, sitting down on one of the logs and digging through the backpack he was wearing.

He stood up, and laid down a small blanket on the log, sitting back down and patting the spot next to him. You chuckled, taking a seat next to him.

“If you wanted to get high, we could have just done it at the apartment?” You said, but Suna just shrugged. “It’s nice to have a change of scenery once in a while.”

He dug out his bag, zipping it open and setting his grinder, blunt wraps, and weed on the tree stump.

You’ve always liked watching Suna prepare your blunts. He’s let you try doing it once or twice, but you could never get it to roll as tightly as he does.

You hear the telltale click of a lighter, Suna dragging the flame across the seam of the wrap before bringing one end to his lips, and lighting the other.

Once it was lit, he took a few deep drags before passing it over to you. You brought the blunt to your lips, taking in a deep breath, holding it until you felt your lungs burn, and letting out a big puff of smoke.

“Whoa there,” Suna commented, and you laughed in between fits of coughing.

“It’s been a tough week.” “Yeah? Tell me about it.”

The two of you sat there, you weren’t sure how long, exchanging stories about your week, making each other laugh with corny jokes you read online, showing each other tik toks and just enjoying each other’s company.

The blunt was finished long ago, and you notice Suna’s shoulders were much less tense, his facial features finally easing into a calm expression.

“Practice has been tough, huh?” You asked, and he let out a big sigh.

“Yeah... but it’s alright. S’long as we still get to do stuff like this, I’ll survive.”

You tilted your head as he stood up. “Where you going?”

“Let’s go, it’s getting cold and I got the munchies.”

“I am way too high to climb down that slope right now.”

And that’s how you got Suna Rintarou to give you a piggy back ride down the side of a muddy hill.

A/N: also sorry for the shittt format I’m on mobile :(

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 20 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: We’re in the home stretch now. Let me know what you think. 

Warnings: cursing, smut (edging, unprotected)

Word Count: 3,326

~~~~~~~~

With the last week or so being a strain on both you and Cale emotionally, you knew that you wanted to do something to make him smile now that things were finally looking up. 

Cale’s ex, Sara, must have had a falling out with one of her friends because yesterday a snapchatted image of a paternity test had surfaced online with the comment ‘time for y’all to stop accusing him of being the bad guy when he’s the one that was being cheated on for six months’, proving once and for all that Cale wasn’t the baby’s dad. 

Cale had called you, relief filling his tone. If the story had to be drawn out and his privacy violated for a second time, at least it was in a beneficial way and now that chapter was officially closed. It wasn’t until you got past the emotional hurdles that had been thrown in front of you that you realized July was flying by and soon Cale would be heading back to Denver. This summer was supposed to be about taking advantage of every moment, and lately you’d gotten a little off track. 

Checking with Cale to make sure that he didn’t have any plans for the weekend, you put a call in to a friend from school who was working for a rental agency in BC. Ten minutes later you had confirmation on a lakefront rental for a long weekend and a promise that if you sent her a list, she’d pick up groceries and drop them off for you. It was already mid-week so you threw together a bag, browsing online for more plans for a romantic getaway. 

____

Friday morning you found yourself driving over to the Makar residence to wait for Cale to get home from training. Laura was still home as you let yourself in the open front door and when she saw you she almost immediately jumped up off the chair she was sitting in to hug you. 

“Y/N...I didn’t know you were coming over this morning dear. Can I make you breakfast?” 

“I already ate, but I’d love a cup of tea.” You replied, smiling. “I uh...I came to steal your son for the weekend once he gets home.” 

“Oh really?” She inquired, moving to put water on for tea. “He didn’t mention it.” 

“That’s because it’s a surprise.” You shrugged. “I decided we needed a weekend to unwind from everything. Summer is moving really fast.” Her smile grew and she leaned against the counter, her own mug in her hands. 

“He’s gonna love that.” She murmured. “Seeing the two of you two together just makes me so happy, I hope you know that. This is what I’ve always wanted for him. And for you. The fact that you’ve found it in each other is just a bonus.” 

The front door opened and the sound of shoes hitting the floor of the entryway quickly followed before Cale walked into the kitchen to grab a Gatorade. He was drenched in sweat, his chest on display. 

“Morning mom…” He murmured, retreating almost to the doorway before he realized that his mom wasn’t alone. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he closed the distance between you, leaning in for a quick kiss. 

“You’re all sweaty.” You whined, crinkling your nose. Laughing, Cale pretended to move in to hug you before pulling away. “Don’t be a jerk.” You chastised. “Go shower and pack a bag for the weekend Mr.” His eyebrows raised and he eyed you, taking a sip of his drink before opening his mouth to speak.

“Shower first, questions after...you’re stinking up my kitchen Cale.” Laura interrupted Cale’s attempt to question you causing him to roll his eyes. 

“Don’t forget your trunks and like one nicer outfit...the rest can be lazy.” You called, giggling as you heard him racing up the stairs mumbling about the two of you ganging up on him again. 

“The way the two of you can flip from being romantic to the best friends you’ve always been just amazes me.” Laura murmured as she poured your cup of tea. “It seems so natural and I suppose it is.” She clarified more to herself than to you. 

As you watched Laura clean up the kitchen a bit while drinking your tea, a question popped into your head. 

“Hey, mom...do you have any cardboard jewelry gift boxes?” The question made her pause in thought before she held up a finger and disappeared into the garage. When she came back, she tossed a small box to you. 

“Will that work?” She asked, curiosity filling her expression. 

“That’s perfect. Thanks.” You grinned, reaching over to your purse to pull out the key from the front pocket, tucking it away safely in the box. “And before you ask, yes that’s what you think it is, no it’s not for the reason you think.” Laura let out a deep breath and you glanced back at the stairs to make sure that Cale was still occupied. 

“Yes, I’m giving Cale his own house key. But not with the suggestion of moving in together.” You assured her. “I just...after these last couple weeks...I want to be sure that he knows he’s always welcome. I don’t want him to feel like he can only come over in an emergency. I want him to know that if that’s where he wants to be, that that’s where I want him to be. Whether I’m home or not he’s welcome in my home just like he is yours.” Laura’s expression was soft and she moved to hug you again. 

“I’m somewhat relieved…” She whispered. “And it’s not that I’m against the two of you talking about taking that step...I just…” 

“You’re not quite ready for me to steal him completely yet...I understand.” 

“If I were ready for anyone to steal him it would be you…I just...” She admitted. 

“Need more than a week and a half to get used to that idea.” You finished. “We’re not there yet. You’ve got some time.” You promised. 

“Everything good down here?” Cale’s voice appeared out of nowhere and you pulled back from Laura, quickly trying to mask your emotions. 

“Everything is great.” You confirmed, turning to tuck yourself into Cale’s side. “Are you ready to hit the road?” 

“I don’t know what we’re doing...but let’s do it.” Cale agreed, snagging a kiss before hugging his mom goodbye. 

As you headed out the front door with Cale, you missed Laura whisper, “I think I have less time than you realize dear.” 

____

After letting Cale load his bag into the trunk of your car, you climbed behind the wheel, hooking your phone up as gps and for music. 

“I hope you cooled down properly because this is a bit of a drive.” You teasingly warned, glancing over at where Cale had folded himself into your passenger seat. 

Seven hours later, when you finally pulled into the driveway of your destination, Cale’s sarcasm could probably be heard from space. 

“A bit of a drive?” He questioned. “Calgary to Kelowna is more than ‘a bit of a drive.’” 

“Oh hush...like you didn’t sleep half of it.” You threw back, popping the trunk so that you could grab your bag and Cale his. “Now c’mon. We have a little over 48 hours to enjoy alone together in this lakefront paradise.” 

Entering the code to the lock on the front door, you pushed it open, your eyes going wide. Your friend had told you that she knew of the perfect place and boy did she deliver. Beautiful hardwood floors stretched throughout the house and everything felt light and airy and luxurious. Walking through to the second bedroom which was clearly the master, you dropped your bag on the bed eyeing the huge shower on the wall to your right. 

Backtracking back to the kitchen you smiled, first at the modern indoor space, but then your grin grew as you took in the view of the lake out the back windows. It was perfect. Everything about this place was perfect. 

By the time you finished your quick survey, Cale had made his way inside, and you watched as he took it all in. 

“Damn…” He mumbled appreciatively. 

“Yeah. I think this will suit us just fine for a couple days of unwinding.” You agreed, your hand rubbing up over Cale’s back. 

“Don’t know what I did to deserve you.” Cale breathed, arm draped around your waist as he pulled you into a soft kiss. “This is amazing. You’ve seriously been superwoman these last few weeks. Dealing with everything and then you planned this...I’m just...I’m blown away.” 

“I love you.” You stated simply. “We deserve something wonderful after getting past all the bullshit. And a weekend away seemed like a nice escape. We can stay in, we can go exploring, whatever you want. We have a reservation at a winery for dinner tomorrow but other than that the plans are open.” 

“So if I wanted to keep you in bed all weekend?” Cale inquired, mischievous smirk on his face. 

“As long as we don’t miss dinner I’d say it’s a shame we didn’t enjoy the private beach but I’m amenable.” You replied with a shrug. “But maybe we should start with some food tonight...I’m sure you’re hungry.” You suggested, pecking his lips before pulling away to open the fridge. Everything you’d asked for was present and accounted for. 

Pulling the steaks and vegetables from the fridge, along with a bottle of wine, you set about finding everything you needed to make dinner while Cale gaped at you from where you’d left him. 

“There’s food?” The words slipped from his lips, drawing a giggle from your throat. 

“I have people.” You winked, cutting up potatoes, green beans, and carrots. “Want to make yourself useful and go start the grill?” You questioned, reaching for some foil to load the vegetables into along with some oil and seasoning. It wouldn’t take long to grill up dinner and you finished your inside prep before opening the bottle of wine, filling two glasses. 

Passing off the steaks and vegetables to Cale, you stepped out further on the back porch just enjoying the view. It was spectacular, better than perfect and you couldn’t wait to go dip your toes in the water along the sandy beach. 

Dipping back inside for plates and silverware, you settled in at the outdoor table waiting for Cale to finish up at the grill. When the food was done, the two of you settled in to eat. 

“Thanks for manning the grill.” You stated, sipping at your wine. “These steaks came out perfectly.” 

“We make a pretty good team.” Cale agreed, his gaze soft as he looked back and forth between you and the view. Cale’s calf hooked around your leg as you ate and the physical contact made you feel warm and wanted. Once plates were cleared, you sent him to clean the grill while you quickly did the dishes. As you rinsed off the last wine glass, you felt Cale’s arm slide around your waist, pulling you firmly against him. 

He didn’t need to speak a word for you to feel the shift in mood and you leaned back into him, your damp hand sliding up into the hair at the back of his neck. His lips on your ear and then along the column of your throat signaled exactly what he wanted and you let out a pleased hum in response. Dragging you to bed, Cale kept you there for the remainder of the night, his body showing you just how much he appreciated this trip, appreciated you. 

It made you feel even closer to him in every way and it served as the perfect way to prove to yourselves and each other that nothing had managed to shake the bond you’d already formed. You’d had so many different types of sex in the two months you’d been together, but it was this kind you loved the most. The slow, easy, completely unrushed push and pull of your bodies against each other. Cale not giving up until you were a puddle of flesh and bones beneath him. Passing out from exhaustion and pleasure, your naked bodies entwined. 

_______

The sound you woke up to the following morning was not one you’d expected. The sound of rain battering the roof made you shiver, causing you to snuggle further into Cale’s arms. Your movements caused your boyfriend to stir and he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Is that rain?” He mumbled quietly. 

“Certainly sounds like it.” You agreed. 

“Guess I really do get to keep you in bed.” You could feel his smirk against your head and you groaned softly. “But how ‘bout I go make us some breakfast first?” He amended, his body stretching out beside you. 

“I mean I’m not going to argue with that.” You whispered, though the bed was certainly cooler without his presence in it much to your dismay. 

Breakfast in bed with Cale was a first in your relationship, and it felt incredibly romantic to be wrapped in just Cale’s shirt as he fed you bites of pancake and bacon from his spot behind you. 

“We should do this more often.” You breathed, the weight of the world slowly lifting off of your shoulders. 

“Of course sweet girl.” Cale agreed, his hand sliding down along your stomach as he moved the empty plate to the bedside table. You assumed he was going to make good on his implied promise, expecting his fingers to continue their journey down your body. Instead, his hand stayed put and he reached for the remote to turn the tv on, flipping channels. 

Though the show he picked was interesting, you found yourself unable to focus with the occasional kiss dropped onto your neck or shoulder and the mindless strokes of his fingers along your stomach. 

“Cale…” You whimpered his name, your thighs squeezed together to try and alleviate the pressure. 

“Hmm…?” He breathed. 

“Are you gonna touch me or just tease me all day?” You inquired, trying not to squirm against him. 

“Thought you’d be sore and tired after last night…” Cale mused, though his tone gave away that he knew exactly what he was doing. 

“I mean I am…” You admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” 

“Yeah sweet girl...what is it that you want?” 

“Touch me Cale.” You pleaded, a hiss slipping from your throat as Cale’s teeth scraped along your neck. 

“You gotta be more specific sweetheart. Tell me exactly what you want.” He prodded. This demanding side of Cale was one you hadn’t really seen before and though a part of you wanted to tell him to fuck off and just fuck you, a larger part was curious to see just how far he would take this. 

“Your fingers.” You attempted to clarify, the fog of lust slowly creeping over you. 

“My fingers are touching you sunshine…” He teased, drumming the digits against your stomach. 

“My clit Cale. Fuck please rub my clit.” You hadn’t put underwear on today, so it took hardly any effort for Cale to part your legs enough to slide his fingers exactly where you wanted them. Tossing your head back against his shoulder you arched into his fingers, your body desperate for more. “Cale...faster please.” You whined, frustrated by the slow pace he’d established. 

Although he complied, Cale was sticking strictly to what you asked for, not expanding into all of the other ways he knew to make you fall apart. It was sweet torture. 

“Cale...fuck me please…” You babbled. “I need those long fingers of yours inside me...spreading me open for your cock.” Cale groaned and it appeared he was pleased with you when he asked a direct question instead of vaguely pushing for more. 

“How many fingers do you want sweetheart?” 

“Two…” You quickly gasped out. “...No three.” You corrected. “Give me three please.” 

Spitting on his fingers, Cale worked three inside you, your pussy aching slightly as it stretched around them. 

“Look at how good your pussy takes my fingers.” Cale breathed into your ear, forcing your gaze to drop to where his fingers were pumping in and out of you. “It looks so much better taking my dick. One of these days I’m going to fuck you in front of a mirror so that you can see how well you take me.” Incoherent curses spilled from your lips at his words. When Cale got like this, it took things to another level and tightened that rubber band inside you until it would only take the slightest bit of friction to make it snap. 

Just as you felt your orgasm creeping up, Cale pulled his fingers from you leaving you gasping. 

“Tsk…” Cale chastised when you attempted to rub your legs together. “I don’t think so sweet girl. You need to ask permission to cum. I want you to beg me for your orgasm. You’re getting so greedy wanting to cum before I’m even inside you.” 

“Cale please?” You protested softly. “I’m so close. Please let me cum.” 

“Not yet love. You can wait for it.” Cale’s fingers brushed featherlight touches against your core as your body slipped away from the edge of orgasm. Only then did he fuck his fingers back inside you, bringing you close to the edge before backing off, despite your pleas to let you orgasm. 

Twice more he edged you, making you think he’d let you cum for just a split second before he pulled away. You were shaking, desperate for release. 

“Cale...fuck me please.” You begged. 

“Does my girl want my cock?”

“Fuck Cale...I need it. I need your cock inside me. I need…” You were cut off when Cale practically tossed you to the other side of the bed before shedding his boxer-briefs and climbing over you, sliding into you all the way to the hilt in one smooth thrust. 

“Uuugnnhh…” The strangled sound was all you could vocalize as you clung to Cale, his body stilled inside of you. 

“You’re so tight sweet girl. How are you always so tight no matter how many times I fuck you raw?” Cale started to rock his hips inside of you, quick and deep and you felt your eyes roll toward the back of your head as you panted for breath under him. 

Having been edged 4 times already today, it wasn’t long before you were thrashing under him, your orgasm racing toward you. 

“Ask permission sweetheart.” Cale reminded, his hand sliding between your bodies to rub your clit in time with his thrusts. 

“Cale please...wanna cum…” You gasp, tears spilling down your cheeks from trying to fight off the orgasm your body ached for. 

“Such a good girl. Asking so nicely. Taking my fingers so nicely. Taking my cock so nicely. Go ahead...cum.” 

The second Cale gave you permission, your orgasm crashed down on you, harder than you’d ever felt in your life. The sensation of Cale’s semen spilling inside of you had barely started when you felt everything go black. 

When you stirred, Cale was playing with your hair. 

“There she is.” He whispered softly. “You okay love?” Every inch of your body felt like lead and you craned your neck to see Cale’s satisfied smirk and concerned eyes. 

“You did not just make me cum so hard I blacked out…” You mumbled in disbelief. 

“Pretty sure I did.” Cale replied. “You’ve never cum that hard around me before. Was the sexiest thing ever.” He gloated. “It still sounds like it’s pouring so why don’t you take a nap before getting ready for dinner.” 

Yawning, you rolled to bury your head into Cale’s chest, still in disbelief about the orgasm he’d just given you.

[krisdreaming]

Omg, that Iwaizumi scenario is the cutest thing I've recently seen ❤ Can I ask for the same one with Kuroo? ❤

OF COURSE omg. This is the Iwa scenario they’re referring to. I’m getting back into writing with a super self-indulgent Kuroo thing bc who would I be if I didn’t? :’) (college AU!)

Edit: 4+1 masterlist is here

-

Four times Tetsurou thinks he loves you, and the one time he finally says it out loud.

i.

The library is completely silent save for the murmur of other students whispering and the soft patter of the rain outside hitting the window panes. Tetsurou is here to keep you company more than anything. You’ve got a huge test coming up, and you’ve been studying for almost two hours now. Tetsurou had finished his chemistry assignment 20 minutes ago, so now he’s just aimlessly surfing the web. 

Bored, he glances at you over the top of his laptop screen. You’re still hard at work with your head bent over your textbook, nibbling on the end of your pen. Something tugs in his middle. You must feel his eyes on you, because after a few moments, you look up at him with a frown. “What?”

He licks his lips, then shakes his head. “Nothing. You soon done?”

You laugh. It’s one of his favorite sounds. “Soon.”

You look back down at your book, but he can’t stop looking at you. The tug in his middle has taken the form of three small words, but this isn’t the place to say them. He’s not sure he could, even if it was. Instead, he turns them over in his mind, and decides he likes the feel of them. I love you.

ii.

Kenma is laying on his belly Tetsurou’s bed, tapping away at his video game console. The soft music playing from his game is pleasant background noise now that the movie playing on your laptop has ended. You and Tetsurou are sitting on the floor, with your backs propped against the bed. He’s feeling a little giddy, most likely a combination of the lateness and all of the sugar you’d consumed.

“That was awful!” You laugh, knocking your shoulder against his. “Who let you decide what movie we should watch?”

“Kenma.” Tetsurou points up, in the general direction of his friend behind him. Kenma scowls even though neither of you can see him.

“Did not.” He protests softly. “All I said was that I didn’t care what we watched.”

“Same thing.” Tetsurou laughs even though it’s not really that funny. You join him for a little bit, but the sound soon dies on your lips, and you hug his arm, pillowing your head on his shoulder and peering up at him through your eyelashes. The remains of the smile that lingers on your face is soft. He falls silent, too.

“Tetsu, I’m starting to get sleepy now.” You murmur. He leans down to press a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Are you?” The warm affection in his voice even takes him by surprise.

“Mm-hmm.” You hum, and you slide down until your head is resting against his thigh. You close your eyes and release a soft sigh, and looking down at you a warm tingle that’s not unpleasant fills Tetsurou’s chest. I love you catches in his throat, and instead of saying anything, his fingers begin gently carding through your hair.

After a few minutes of silence, Kenma peers over the edge of the bed at you, then looks at Tetsurou with a quirked eyebrow. There’s nothing to deny, so Tetsurou just shrugs, a half smile ghosting across his face. The look in Kenma’s eyes is a little too knowing.

iii.

“Ooh, look at this!” You tug on Tetusrou’s hand, and once again he’s being pulled to another exhibit. He’d had a feeling you’d enjoy checking out this museum and the special history installation they’d advertised, but he hadn’t quite expected this level of enthusiasm. 

You are so into this. You’re stopping to read every plaque, leaning in close to look at everything on display. Other people are skirting around the two of you but you’re oblivious to it. He thinks it’s absolutely adorable.

“Isn’t this so cool?” You look at him, and your eyes are practically glowing. He wants to tease that you’ve never quite looked at him with the same enthusiasm. “Thanks for taking me here.” You continue, and your smile goes softer as you tug on his hand again, this time to bring him close enough to press a quick kiss to his lips. He can’t resist, and leans in to return the favor, smiling against your lips for just a few moments.

“Of course.” He says, shrugging as though it’s really no big deal.

“You know me so well.” You grin before turning your attention back to the exhibits, still keeping a firm hold on his hand. He gives yours three slight squeezes. If you pick up on the hidden meaning and the words he shouldn’t say for the first time in public, you don’t give any sign.

iv.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Tetsurou just manages to wheeze out, but you shake your head firmly.

“Too bad, I’m here.” You say breezily, and he’s entirely too woozy to do anything else about it. “I have medicine, and I brought some tea, that should help your throat.” You’re already bustling around the room, heating up the electric kettle and dropping a tea bag into a mug. “You still feel pretty gross, huh?”

His response is a coughing fit that he tries unsuccessfully to hold back. Immediately, you’re at his side, concern coloring your face as you unscrew the cap from the bottle of water you’d placed on his bedside stand. After taking enough sips to placate you, he sets it back down, and you reach out and tenderly brush his hair away from his flushed face. He watches as you return to the tea, pouring the now hot water into the mug. You’re humming softly to yourself as you squeeze in a generous amount of honey.

You’re so good at taking care of him. He hadn’t even asked for it, and yet here you are, making him tea and bringing him medicine and looking at him with those soft eyes. He doesn’t deserve you, but yet you’re still here, sticking stubbornly by his side.

“Here.” You hand him the mug and lean in to brush a quick kiss to his forehead. “You drink this, and I’m going to go pick up some soup, okay?”

“Thank you.” He says as he lifts the mug to his lips, smiling meekly at you over the rim as you turn to go. He loves you so much that it almost scares him.

v.

Having you in his arms again is better than Tetsurou could have imagined. Winter break had only lasted a few weeks, but to him it had felt like an eternity. “I missed you!” You breathe into his neck, and he can feel the words on his skin. He hugs you a little closer.

“I missed you too.” Finally he releases you so that he can look at your face again, trying to memorize every feature even more clearly for the next time you’ll have to be apart. You grin at him, reaching to sandwich his face between your hands.

“You look so serious.” You giggle, and he can’t help but crack a smile at that before you pull his face down to yours and kiss him one more time.

“Now what?” He asks after you pull away, not really caring what you do next as long as he’s with you.

You think for a few moments, then open the door of your dorm directly behind you and tug him inside. “I kinda just want to cuddle for the rest of the night.” You admit. Nothing has ever sounded so perfect to him.

“I love you.” He says without thinking, and his eyes blow wide almost as fast as yours do.

“What?” You ask, blinking at him, and he reaches for your hands, supposing now is as good a time as any.

“I love you.” He repeats, suddenly feeling just a little bashful. “And I mean that. You’re… amazing.” His fingers skim your cheek. “But it’s okay if you don’t want to say it back yet, I-”

“I love you too.” You blurt out before he can even finish his sentence, and he feels like he’s smiling impossibly big. 

“Yeah?” He’s searching your face again, wanting to memorize every single part of this moment.

“Yeah.” You grin. The next time he says it is five seconds later, against your lips, and he wonders how something so easy had taken him so long to say.

[lovely-ateez]

For The First Time Pt.2~

ꕥPosted: 7/25/20

ꕥGenre: College!au, Fluff

ꕥPairing: Fem!reader x Jongho

ꕥWord Count: ~1k

ꕥWarnings: None

ꕥA/N: I know this isn’t a popular series which makes me a little sad but I wanted to finish it anyway. If people end up liking it and it actually gets attention I might(?) make a part 3. It’s most likely gonna end here tho. Read part 1 also if you wouldn’t mind! Things will make a lot more sense if you do. You can do that here

ꕥA/N Cont: So even though I provided translations for some words, there is a phrase that I clarified in the middle of the writing bc I didn’t want to spoil anything

ꕥPhrase Guide:

你= You

加油 = You can do it (encouragement)

Jongho was surprisingly easy to talk to and we got along better than I thought we would. Not that I thought we wouldn’t get along, but I was still surprised.

After we had lunch together we exchanged numbers and began to hang out more, usually every couple days given our busy schedules.

He was so talkative that I found out almost everything about him in no time. He just turned 20, was a music major, and took Chinese because he wanted a challenge. He loved snow but hated the cold. Soccer was his favorite sport but he didn’t play often since he was always either studying or working as a tutor for underclassmen. He was born in Korea but grew up in America. Fluent in Korean but insecure enough about his American accent that he only spoke it with close friends and family. He met Mingi during a soccer camp he went to in middle school and his best friend - the guy with the mullet - was named Hongjoong and apparently much friendlier than he looked.

The more I spent time with Jongho, the more I realized I had feelings for him and the stronger they became. When Marina and I were alone in our dorm, I told her everything I was feeling and the response was exactly what I suspected.

“HA! KNEW IT!” Marina yelled, “I just won myself ten bucks.”

“I’m sorry, YOU WHAT?”

“I may or may not have made a bet with Mingi that you would catch feelings within three months of meeting Jongho. And you’re two days away from three months, girly.” She shrugged but kept the smile on her face.

“Oh my god you did not. Actually speaking of...what’s up with you two? Are you official yet?”

Marina went quiet for a moment then bit her lip, finally speaking up, “Well...not yet, technically, but we’ve seriously considered it. We have another date this weekend. Now all you have to do is get with Jongho and we can go on a double date.”

“Yeah I don’t know about that, M.”

“Y/n he totally likes you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No I know. He’s got a few tells so I know he feels at least a little something. I’m just not sure if I should commit to anything, you know?”

Marina let out a loud laugh before speaking again.

“Pfft no. I dated all throughout high school. If I’m being honest, though, I really think you should give it a chance. People always freak out about possibly ruining a friendship by confessing but honestly if a friendship can’t withstand a little crush then you probably weren’t solid friends in the first place.”

“You know what? You’re right. I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

“Hell yeah girl! Go get him!”

-

The next day arrived way too quickly. Although I told myself I would confess, I was getting anxious. I walked into Chinese class holding hands with Marina for emotional support. We were the first ones there, as always, so I had a bit of time to rant.

“I’ll be honest, M. I’ve never felt butterflies like this before. I’m actually shaking.” I lifted up my hand to show her my slight tremor.

“Oh sweetheart! It’ll be all good! Promise. Just take a few deep breaths.”

I slowly breathed in and out for the next several seconds.

“You’re right. I can do this.”

The trio walked into class several minutes later. Mingi gave a quick kiss to Marina and Jongho gave me a friendly smile. Hongjoong rolled his eyes at the four of us and walked to his usual seat, propping his feet up on the seat in front of him.

The rest of the class filled in and soon our professor arrived.

The professor loudly clapped her hands, speaking up, “Alright class. Today I’m going to have you pair up in groups of two and work together. I don’t care who it’s with, as long as it’s with somebody. We’ve got an even number of students so we should be fine. I’ve got some games for you to play today.”

I turned to Marina but she was already halfway up the stairs to sit next to Mingi. I looked at Jongho but he motioned at Hongjoong, mouthing that he was sorry.

Okay. That’s fine. I thought. I’ll find someone else. Looking up I saw the unfamiliar young man standing in front of me. He blanked for a moment when I looked up at him.

“Hey! Uh...would you maybe want to be partners?”

“Are you sure? With the both of us together we’ll probably beat the whole class by a landslide.”

He laughed and sat down next to me, visibly more confident.

“I’m sure they can manage. I’m Tommy, by the way. You’re y/n, right?”

I nodded and smiled at him as we shook hands. I looked Tommy in the eyes and saw a slight blush on his cheeks. What I didn’t see; however, was the death stare Jongho was giving him.

The professor looked up and let out a laugh, pointing at Tommy and I.

“Yeah no way in hell am I letting that happen. You two are my best students and - no offense everyone - but no one would stand a chance against you two.”

“Ouch.” I heard Mingi say.

Jongho quickly stood up and raised his hand, “I’ll partner up with her!”

“Very good. Get on with it then.”

Tommy looked upset, making me feel bad for leaving him.

“Hey that’s okay, Tommy. Maybe next time?” I gave him a smile that he soon returned.

I walked up to Jongho, sitting next to him as Hongjoong sat down next to Tommy.

Jongho leaned in and whispered, “I’ll be honest, y/n. I’m really glad the teacher separated you two.”

“Yeah, I bet everyone is. We are the best in the class, no offense,” I laughed.

“Actually no I meant-“

“Alright class. I have talked in English for an unusually long time but in my defense, I was up basically all night grading essays so I’m running on two hours of sleep and a cappuccino. Nevertheless, I’ll now switch to Chinese. 加油.”

The first game was simple enough. The teacher wrote beginner to intermediate level phrases for us to translate. If we got it right, we got a point.

My team eventually won, beating Tommy and Hongjoong by a single point. Jongho really surprised me, getting almost as many questions right as I did.

Mingi and Marina ended up last because neither of them were paying attention, instead flirting with each other.

The second and final game was a little more complicated. We had to translate the sentence, as well as pronounce all the characters correctly. Tommy’s team was tied with mine until Jongho answered the last question correctly. I smiled at him and bounced in my seat.

“We won, Jongho!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. He froze at first, but then put his arms around me and pulled me closer.

The professor spoke up once more, “We’re out of time for class today but remember you have a test next week. I expect you all to be studying!”

Our classmates soon left the room along with our teacher. Hongjoong quickly ran out to meet his new boyfriend - Seonghwa I think he said? - and Mingi and Marina were already gone. I assumed they left class sometime during the second game.

“Hey,” Jongho said to me as I was slipping on my backpack, “I was wondering if you could help me out with my writing in Chinese? Sometimes I mess up the stroke order and I could use the practice.”

“Sure! When do you want to study?”

“How about now?”

Jongho grabbed my arm and led me down to the whiteboard at the front of the class. I looked around at the empty classroom and nodded. I didn’t want to disturb anyone. He picked up a marker and began to write.

“I’ll write and you tell me if I make a mistake, okay?”

I laughed, “Sure, Jongho.”

As he started writing I didn’t see any mistakes. When he finished writing, I gasped.

“我喜欢你。你喜欢谁?”

[I like you. Who you you like?]

I smiled and took the marker from his hands, placing it back on the podium. I looked him in the eyes and cupped his face. “你” I said as I kissed him. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. He smiled and kissed me again, this time wrapping his arms around my waist.

We pulled back for air and I whispered, “You know, I was actually planning on telling you today, too. Marina encouraged me to tell you, but I guess I didn’t have to after all.”

“I mean you can still tell me, if you want.”

I gently kissed his cheek, “You already know how I feel.”

“Hmm. Actually I’m not quite sure. Could you clarify for me?” Jongho laughed when I playfully hit his arm.

“You know,” he continued, “when I said I was glad the teacher separated you earlier, I meant that I was glad you were away from Tommy. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and I really didn’t like it. I got so nervous because even though I tease, this is the first time I’ve felt like this. So I guess the question is...will you let me take you on a date?”

“Absolutely!”

[callioope]

I’ve been vague about what has been going on in my life intentionally, both because I needed to tell some people offline first and because it’s a lot to process. 

But here is what happened: I am in the process of miscarrying.

I thought it might help to share my story. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and rarely talked about. If someone can benefit from my story, all the better, but mostly this is to help my grieving and coping process.

This is pretty detailed, so trigger warnings and all that.

Exactly one month ago, I read the results I had longed for: pregnant.

Today, I’m sprawled out on the couch in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. 

They don’t tell you that miscarriage is a process.

We’ve been trying to conceive since the end of last June. It was taking so long, I was convinced I’d be scheduling a fertility consultation this coming June. They tell you if you’re under 35, to give it a year. Before we started trying to conceive, I’d tell anyone about how time speeds up the older you get. It makes sense logically, of course, when a year is 1/5 of your life, it sure seems long, but went its 1/32, well... 

But this has been the longest eleven months of my life. The first month we started trying, I had an unusually long cycle. 39 days. I was so sure I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting for two weeks. Husband and I were vacationing in Minnesota to see Aston Villa play. I bought a pregnancy test, beaming, excited, and was puzzled by the negative result. A week later, when my period came, I cried to my mother, and she said something about the universe saying I wasn’t ready or something. Whatever it was sounded bleak and ominous to my ears. It sounded like it meant I’d never be ready. 

The fall was busy and stressful, and despite all the tedious ovulation test strips, nothing happened except somehow, my period got lighter month by month. I was pretty sure something was wrong with me. I thought I had a UTI. (I was actually stressed and dehydrated, which I eventually remedied.) While I cried at a Sara Bareilles concert in November, my mother told me that her OBGYN said it can take as much at 9 months for the body to recalibrate after being on the pill.

Speaking of which. I’ve been taking the pill for over a decade. For the most part, I took it correctly. There is some leeway to taking it incorrectly, for the record. You can miss two pills in a row and it still has instructions for what to do (while cautioning to be safe and use extra protection). Maybe only once did I ever have to throw out a pack for missing too many in a row. 

(This is maybe neither here nor there, but rebelcaptain accidental pregnancy fics have become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Jyn and Cassian are far too careful and intentional to let that happen, and it is so easy to be responsible since there are so many birth control alternatives these days that don’t even require reliance on routine or memory.)

So, of course, the concern lately is that clearly 10+  years on birth control has messed me up. I do not know this objectively (what I do know is that I have OCD and anxiety and obsess over Everything That Can Go Wrong), but the point is that birth control really can have consequences that I don’t think are necessarily fully understood or studied. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, USE BIRTH CONTROL. My only regret is what I didn’t know.

I learned too late, but a lot of conception advice articles tell you to quit the BC as soon as possible. Even if my mom’s OBGYN is wrong, the general advice does seem to be that it can take up to 3 months for your body to recalibrate. So, if by any chance someone reading this is thinking about conceiving soon, if you take nothing else away from this rant, take this. I wish I had stopped taking the pill a few months before we actually intended to start trying.

After ten months of all this worrying, I finally got what I’d longed for. The moment I saw that positive result, it felt so surreal. There had been little things leading up to that moment, strange hints and signs, like I knew subconsciously even before a test would have been positive. I wrote that Howl’s Moving Castle pregnancy fic before I knew. I started learning “Here Comes the Sun” on my ukulele before I knew (it’s... silly, but I decided I wanted to learn the ukulele because I wanted to be able to play that song for my kids some day). It involves finger picking, so I’d been putting off learning it, but one day I just decided it was time. And finally, I decided to watch the latest season of Brooklyn 99. I’d avoided it because I knew Amy & Jake were also trying to conceive, and it was too emotional for me to watch that when I was so frustrated for how long I was taking. (Of course I didn’t realize they also had trouble, and watching it actually felt cathartic for me.) I got that positive result literally the next morning. 

I spent Monday, April 20, making checklists and spreadsheets. I set my first prenatal appointment for May 8. Those two and a half weeks were the slowest of my life. They stretched out like a rubber band. I couldn’t really focus on anything except this pregnancy I’d waited so long for. That’s probably why time moved so slowly. I wasn’t filling it with the hobbies I enjoyed, writing and playing my ukulele. All my overwhelmed brain could handle was the hilarious distraction of Community. Yeah, this is also around the time I disappeared from fandom. It was originally for a happy reason, I was just too excited to focus!

I know many women who have miscarried. The data seems to vary from source to source, but anywhere between 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to confirm everything was okay. I wondered if they would do an ultrasound; I dreamed of seeing a fetus on that screen.

We started talking about how we were going to tell our family. We wrote a pretend promotion letter for my sister, promoting her from “sister” to “aunt” (she’s a badass at her job and we had recently been talking about her promotions so it was thematically relevant). We planned to do a video call with my parents where we played Quiplash and created custom answers related to the pregnancy. 

But we never got that chance. On May 8, I went in for my first appointment. I’d spent the last three days sewing a mask because the ones we ordered still haven’t arrived yet. So all the time I would have spent preparing myself for the worst (as is my way) was spent instead distracted by sewing and finishing up Community. 

They took me to an office first and went over medical history questions. “Any morning sickness?” the nurse asked. “Not at all,” I said. “Should I be worried?” “No,” she answered. “Consider yourself lucky!” 

(For the record, many women who carry to term do not ever get morning sickness.)

(It was just one of those unfortunate exchanges.)

Then the exam with the doctor. All in all, it’d probably been 30 or 40 minutes by this point, all of this excited talk. I was going to tell my parents on Mother’s Day. My due date was Christmas.

I video call my husband just in time for the ultrasound. 

There was no embryo. 

The doctor said a lot of women are ovulating later in their cycles due to the stress of the pandemic. At the time, I thought maybe. Hope is funny like that, in the face of logic. It started to grow like a weed in the cracks of my breaking heart. 

But the thing is, even with that stubborn hopeweed, I knew. I’d been doing this for ten months. I knew when my last period was, I knew when I ovulated. I was 7 weeks and 1 day, and there was no embryo, and that was it.

The beginning of the process of miscarriage. 

Technically, it’d started a few days before that appointment, but I was distracted at that time. I’d noticed one morning that there seemed to be more hair in the shower floor than there should be. 

Dots started to connect. My breasts had stopped aching. Now, they started to shrink back to their original size. 

This happened over several days. I felt certain I would miscarry on Mother’s Day; fortunately, that did not happen. No, enough days had to pass for that hopeweed to prosper. Only then, when it whispered maybe would I start spotting and cramping. 

On Tuesday, the second ultrasound confirmed what I already knew. Not viable. Missed miscarriage. Technically, the prescription the doctor hands me reads “missed abortion.” “It’s just the technical term,” the doctor explains, acknowledging that many women might find this triggering. 

I don’t cry as much as I did. I only cry when I tell people. It seems important for people to know, just in case. Just one person in the relevant circles of my life. I had to tell my boss to explain the sudden uptick in unexpected doctor appointments. (I’m Rh negative, so I needed to go to the hospital to get bloodwork and a Rhogam shot -- and being in a hospital these days in anxiety-inducing enough without this trauma.)

It still feels surreal. All of this happened in one month. Somehow my life has changed completely and then reverted back. This is just a blip in my life, relatively, and yet it seems the longest month of my life.

In movies, in stories, miscarriage seems to go the same way: a flash of bloody sheets, a shout of shock and pain, and then grief. I never knew how it really goes: that it would stretch out for weeks, from the moment I saw that first ultrasound to now, twelve days later, just starting to bleed. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound to confirm it’s done, and if it’s not, then I’ll need surgery. 

This speaks nothing of the grief. 

And then it’s back to square one, a whole year later: ovulation tests and endless waiting. 

It’s been a whole month; it’s been only a month, and miscarriage is a process. 

[ohsweetflips]

share your mama thoughts!!!! (if you would like to)

you’re gonna look at these and, within 2.5 seconds, say “wow jords the self-projection is strong tn”

or more so “wow jords we really see the dynamics that u yearn for and yet cannot find so u project them onto fictional characters who u look up to in a way u can’t quite understand”

post-writing notes: this got way longer than i expected (the jords ohsweetflips story), so this is going under the cut, but enjoy my huge mama backstory headcanons!!!

first things first, i hc mama as a lesbian, bc i am a lesbian, and i feel very attached to mama, so i hc her as a lesbian (but also i believe that anyone can hc her to be anything that they damn well please)

and, forgive me, i don’t know shit abt west virginian geography, but i think she grew up in a town like aubrey’s? like i know we didn’t get a lot of description of aubrey’s younger life outside her home, but i kinda see mama as having this “old money” type homelife

and bc i, jords ohsweetflips, wish i had a group of lesbian friends so that i could’ve had some guidance in my teen years, i hc that, in her town, she found her way into the small yet secure lesbian “scene” that was just a couple girls around her age (i see her as 15 at this time, with others ranging 15-18) along with a couple who were, like, 19/20

and tbh, just the vibe i get from mama and how she seems much more inclined towards found family than blood relatives, i don’t think she had the nicest folks so, when she came out, that was it, you know?

and tbh i completely see mama (well, madeline at this point) as someone who is very like “i don’t need help, i can do things on my own,” even as a young teen, so i think for, like, a week or two, she did the whole “on her own” things

but bc her friends were absolute angels, and also found out that she had been essentially homeless, two of the girls who are 19 and 20 and have an apartment are like “fuck no, you’re staying with us”

and madeline is at first like “no, really, i’m fine” but the thought of an actually loving home is too tempting to ignore

so from the ages of 15 to 18, she lives with her friends!!! she was fairly good at art at this point so she was able to get some in to the local galleries and shops and make some money off of it, and then when she was around 17, her friends were able to get her a job bussing at the bar they worked in

she also liked to whittle a lot!!! she made a lot of ducks

she was 18 when she decided to move out, and that’s when she heard of kepler. or, more so, she heard of it from another one of her friends who dubbed it as “a place fit for you, mads”

so she managed to save up enough money for an apartment and she moved out of her hometown and absolutely the friends she lived with cried their eyes out when they were helping her move in and tbh even madeline got a bit teary eyed bc they were like family, you know?

and so basically, from the ages of 18-24, she lived in kepler and got her bearings and this was when she started to get really into wood carving!!! she was able to get some pieces out there and get some recognition and, by her mid20s, she was actually making decent money, or at least enough to not be living paycheck to paycheck

in this phase of living in kepler, i think she was in a very “people knew her but she didn’t know them that well” just bc i don’t see her as the type of person to be a “social butterfly”? i think she mostly, tho, became friendly with the man who ran kepler’s local coffee shop, and the wives who owned the little dipper back before it was the hornet’s nest. she’s also def met leo and thacker, but only in passing, mostly. i think, once she got closer to her late 20s/early 30s, she would have heard of duck and juno but, in her being 18-24, they were probably still kids/young teenagers.

WAIT I CAN’T FORGET 1980S MAMA AESTHETIC: whole lot of jackets. she did a lot of thrift shopping so she has so many huge jackets. lot of denim. and leather. work boots. flannel. patches. are you picking up on the self projection yet.

and then, in november of 1988, when she was 24, the gate went up. she encountered her first abomination by accident. she had been out in the woods, just trekking back to her apartment and deciding to take the scenic route, when all of a sudden.... one of the smaller trees started moving? and she was like “well that’s not what trees do” and then she saw that the tree had a jagged mouth dripping with sap and branches acting like long, clawed hands, and she was like “well that ain’t no normal tree”

i don’t have my Big Brave Madeline “Mama” Cobb Origin Battle Story yet but she definitely just chopped the shit out of the tree and it managed to work

i think it would be Very Funny if, very shortly after that, her first sylph was barclay. like, i have a feeling that age works a bit different for sylphs, and honestly i have no clue where they would get the disguises from? maybe heathcliff? but the thought of madeline running into Literal Bigfoot and barclay, maybe like 20yo in sylph age, being like “WAIT DON’T KILL ME” bc this young woman already looks ready for leather is very entertaining

and that’s when mama learns abt the sylphs, and how they’re not abominations, and barclay shows her the gate 

and also yes barclay absolutely stays in her apartment except he is So Hidden bc imagine the chaos of Literal Bigfoot being in her apartment! hysterical!

but, soon, mama crosses over into sylvain and figures out Everything that has gone on and knows abt the crystal shattering and the wars and she realizes that there have been sylphs exiled to earth and she’s like “well that ain’t gonna fly”

so she starts the pineguard and, for that first year, it’s mostly just her? and, at that point, it’s harder to locate sylphs, so she only has barclay and one or two others staying with her and it’s cramped but they’re safe so she’s happy

she meets thacker around... april 1989, i think? i know it was spring. so he helps out, and then they recruit another guy, mike (canonically mentioned in the water arc), and a couple others, and, suddenly, the pineguard is turning into an actual thing

and then, one of the ski lodges up on topside closes, now leaving a completely empty inn just... taking up space...... and it’s only a half mile from the gate........... and she has been making a decent amount of money from her sculptures

before the end of 1989, amnesty lodge is set up and running and, all of a sudden, it’s like she has another real home again. she loves the sylphs she meets and they can be safe with her!!

thacker absolutely has a bunch of “home videos” where, really, he’s just messing around with madeline. it’s almost like a “madeline cobb nature documentary” as she finishes up the lodge and treks through the woods. there’s also some of barclay and moira, and other pineguard members, and other sylphs that show up. he also has his journals and pictures and other books and, at one point, the cellar looks like thacker’s library

also the ballad of bigfoot is absolutely canonical and, after stephanie & griffin & C.M. leave the lodge, thacker has never seen madeline go off like she did on barclay that night. barclay still has some residual fear for hearing mama (who’s a big woman but he is Big Foot so he is definitely just Big) scream up at him “I WILL PUT YOU BACK IN THE WOODS WHERE I FOUND YOU, DON’T YOU TEST ME, BARCLAY”

even tho the two of them don’t talk abt it much, and might not even realize it that early on (picturing like late 20s/early 30s), thacker and mama really are best friends and, tbh, every sylph can see it in the way they bicker yet unconditionally care for each other

madeline almost kicked thacker out of the pineguard when she first found out what he put in his gorp

dani showed up in 2009 and, at the age of 12, she was the youngest sylph amnesty lodge had by a fucking landslide, and that made madeline so angry yet so sad bc this child had been exiled from her home and that was just a thing that could happen

(madeline never got along too well with woodbridge but, after that, knowing that he is the one in charge of the exiles, she could never even be civil with him)

she was immediately protective of dani and was ready to really step in as a parental figure bc she wasn’t abt to let this young girl be without guidance

and she gave dani handmedowns and took her shopping and would make sure that she felt safe and comfortable bc, really, she was the only sylph in the lodge who wasn’t an adult. and, fortunately, barclay was basically an older brother to her and moira looked out for her and i think dani coming into the lodge was what really gave everyone a very big reality check bc, like. she’s a kid

(is it obvious that i’m a bit attached to mama and dani)

and so it should come as no shock that, within a year of dani being in amnesty lodge, madeline became “mama”

and then, in 2011, jake, age 16, showed up, and by then mama was like “alright time to adopt him”

but also, real talk, mama looks out for all her sylphs so much, she’d lay down her life for any of them

when thacker leaves in 2013, she’s at first okay, doing just fine. he promised that he would come back, and she has faith in him. and then months pass. and then a year. and then two. and, all of a sudden, it’s the spring of 2016 and kepler expeditions is officially shut down and mama realizes just how much she misses her best friend.

and, not to mention, the waning of the pineguard.

by the time it gets to the summer of 2018, it’s just her and barclay, the both of them hoping things stay the same, but hope hasn’t gotten them too far

and then they have a fire magician, and a forest ranger with a talking sword, and ned fucking chicane

and now we have reached canon!!! thank u for coming to my ted talk!!!!

also tho, post-finale during the big reunion, thacker is just talking with aubrey and all of a sudden is like “holy shit, you really are like her, aren’t you?” and aubrey is just like “???” and thacker says, “don’t go tellin’ her, because she’ll kick my ass, but talkin’ to you is just like talkin’ to maddie when she was your age” and aubrey is a bit :’)

[hyunsracha]

rubicund — bang chan

word count: 1.8k

summary: music production major chris really needs a place to live - and you just happen to have a few empty rooms and need a new roommate.

right.

let’s go lesbians!!

so u, lovely lil college sophomore u, lived in an apartment

fuck dorm lives

n ur roommate was ur friend n everything was SICK

until ur friend moved out - to live w his boyfriend -_-

now u were alone :(

and u didn’t have enough money to pay rent by yourself :(

so u either move out! or find another roommate

but ur apartment was way too sick to just MOVE OUT LIKE THAT

so u started advertising hey! i’m a poor college student! be my roommate if ur also in college! hey!

christopher bang, college sophomore, has been kicked out of his apartment.

his roommate, jisung, said, “hey chris? this apartment is a one bedroom n my boyfriend is moving in so …. can u go?” LIKE IT WAS THE MOST CASUAL THING EVER???

SURE JISUNG, I’LL JUST BE HOMELESS!!

chris, the angel he is, agreed.

but now he needed a place to live! hopefully w enough room to set up his recording stuff

so he started looking until- hey! he stumbled upon your ad!

the ad seemed friendly enough, so he went to check it out

u opened the door on a rainy sunday after rushing around to make sure everything looked PERFECT!!

every couch pillow was Fluffed to Perfection >:(( and every surface was Sparking >:((

honestly though?? chris thought U were sparkling

u opened the door, ur face flushed from all the rushing about, and u smiled the most gentle smile ever,

“hi! i’m y/n. you’re chris, right?”

“t-that i am!”

you started giving him a tour of the apartment, making sure to emphasize how good a roommate u were and that u usually stayed in ur room so !! no need to worry about u !!

but chris was !! worrying !!

u were so cute and ur voice was so cute n u seemed so shy and unsure of what u were doing

u were just so soft! how was he supposed to live w the biggest cutie in the world?

“um. i’m a music production major...and i make music with two of my friends, and i usually work at home. is that an issue? would it be too loud?”

“oh no not at all! we have an extra room that my old roommate used as a dance studio, so you could use it as a recording studio or whatever!”

dang it

chris was kinda hoping that his music thing would be annoying so he couldn’t live there

but the house was perfect! and u seemed like the perfect roommate!

a week later, chris was moving in

u helped him, of course, u lil angel

u didn’t really know chris that well, so u didn’t know if he was just a shy dude or if he was nervous around u

news flash: he’s nervous

u were helping him move in??? what a kind soul!!! can u get any cuter >:((

apparently.

he was organizing his stuff that night when there was a light knocking on his door.

it was u

“hey”

“hey?”

“i uh-” u were looking down at ur feet, ur hands clasped behind ur back, “was just wondering if you wanted to come watch a movie with me? i mean, we live together now so we should probably get to know each other and maybe be friends, yanno?”

“o-oh! sure! what movie?”

“i was thinking mulan…”

“ur speaking my language now”

so there u two were, all sprawled out in the living room, covering in soft blankets and chomping down on some snacks.

u two were barely focused on the movie, finding each other much more interesting.

u learned that he made music with his friends jisung and changbin, he was australian, and that the color green really spoke to his soul for some reason he could not understand

“just dye your hair green then” you had joked, to which he responded with “bet!”

and the next night, your glove-covered hands were covered in green as you rubbed them around in chris’s hair.

he told u that his friends kept calling him broccoli chan and that he thought about punching jisung for a long time but he liked it a lot

u felt a sense of pride that u did the hair that chris liked!! yes!! go u!!

as the weeks went on, you and chris only got closer and closer.

and your feelings grew and grew.

at first, you just brushed it off as spending so much time together

but when he spent a few days at changbin’s to finish a few tracks, u found yourself missing him >:(

u missed his stupid broccoli hair and his stupid smile and his stupid giggle and his stupid dad jokes that DIDN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE-

oh no!

u liked chris

now what?

u pretend u don’t and just deal with it on ur own bc confessing is for PUSSIES.

like?? what if he rejected u?? y’all LIVED together- it would be so awkward.

and when he came home u pretended that u DIDN'T miss him

even when he got all up in ur grill like “did u miss me?? u lil cutie i bet u did”

yeah chris is like that

once he was comfortable with u he decided to voice the thoughts he had about u

u stumble into the kitchen after just waking up, messy hair and half-closed eyes?

“UR SO CUTE WOW!!!”

u come home from class super pissed off and pouty?

“HOW ARE U SO ADORABLE??”

well….not all of his thoughts.

he didn’t tell you that he thought about you before going to sleep.

he didn’t tell you that every night, he debated getting up and going to your room, which was just across the hall, and climbing into your bed and cuddling you to death.

he didn’t tell you that every time you were stressing about taking a test or turning in an essay, he just wanted to kiss you and make all your stress disappear.

so basically, he was #whipped

ugh, mutual pining, we love that!

so who does he tell?

no one, dummy

he tells his lyric book!

look at u, getting songs written about u and shit

but one day, jisung found said lyric book.

“oooooh!!!!! who is the target of our channie’s affections??” he had squealed, quickly reading over chris’s scribbled text.

“JISUNG YOU WHORE GIVE IT BACK.”

but jisung - that whore - wasn’t very good at listening. he started rapping what chan had written, even though they were just lyrics without a melody.

“NO you BUFFOON you’re not supposed to RAP it’s a pretty ACOUSTIC song don’t you listen to ed sheeran >:(“

“haha she ran.”

“you fool.”

after minutes of struggling, chris YANKED his lyric book back from the buffoon, shoving it deep into his backpack.

“well you write lyrics about your boyfriend so what’s so weird about THIS?”

“we know who jisung’s boyfriend is but we don’t know who you’re writing about.” changbin stated, not even looking up from his phone.

“it’s uh...my roommate-”

“how cliche-”

“jisung you literally bumped into your boyfriend in the hallway and spilled your coffee on him. you’re the king of cliches. let the man speak.”

ok

changbin snapped?

“um yeah it’s my roommate. y/n. they’re just….i dunno….really cool and nice and cute and...make me feel things i haven’t felt before yeah.”

jisung and changbin shared a look.

“like? butterflies in your stomach and your head’s in the clouds and you feel on top of the world when you’re with them?”

“yeah? and what about it?”

another look.

“interesting.”

jisung quickly delivered this information to his boyfriend, hyunjin.

who just so happened!

to be your ex-roommate.

so he, of course, told you.

“you’re kidding, right?” you asked, not even looking at your laptop screen where hyunjin’s goofy smile was.

“no! jisung had a hard time getting it all out, chris was being so romantic. he couldn’t look me in the eyes for like 20 minutes after.” hyunjin was looking down at his cuticles, his feet propped up on his desk.

since he moved out, this is how you guys talked the most

go over to his new place? no thanks!

jisung was a cool guy but .. he was a slob and you didn’t want to be around that energy

“so. he likes me back.”

“yes- WAIT BACK??? Y/N Y/LN YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BACK-”

“sorry jinnie i think the door’s about to open. you should probably sort out that weird no eye contact thing with jisung haha love you bye!” you quickly ended the call, breathing out a sigh of relief.

the door opening was just an excuse, but then the front door opened.

(soulmate culture! thanks)

you popped your head out from around a corner, sending a smile to your roommate.

“hello, love of my life.”

“hello, Christopher.”

“ouch?”

you giggled, “i’m just kidding,” you moved from your spot and plopped down on the couch next to chris, moving your body so you were facing the broccoli-haired boy.

“sooooo…..any interesting conversations today?”

real smooth, y/n. real smooth.

“excuse me?”

“you know...any conversations about roommates that make your heart do flippy things?”

“i’m going to kill jisung.”

“please don’t. if it wasn’t for his big mouth, i might’ve never had the confidence to do this.”

“what is ‘th-’” but he was cut off

by your lips

on his

fun, right?

your hand was so soft on his cheek

and your lips were soft too

he was kind of going insane

this was pure bliss for him

but hey, people gotta breathe

and you, the non-rapper, had to pull away first

you smiled at him, and he was reminded of your first meeting

you were flushed again, and your smile was still so gentle

his heart was pounding, and he didn’t know if it would ever stop

so after giving you a few seconds to breathe, he pulled you in again

he had an inkling he would never get tired of the feeling

everything about you was so soft, so delicate

he handled you like glass

chris was always meticulous, and it was obvious in the way he kissed you.

this time, he pulled away, only to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“so uhhh...do i like called you my boyfriend now or?”

he laughed. it was the most beautiful sound.

“yeah, i would like that a lot.”

that night, chris followed you into your bed.

and he held you and let the steady pounding of his heart lull you to sleep.

and he fell asleep to the sound of your breathing.

and the next morning, he was the first to wake.

but he used those few minutes before you woke up to just admire you.

when you woke up, he just smiled down at you, “hey.”

your sleepy smile was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

“hey, boyfriend.”

[sabaku-no-livna]

Is your oc a Mary Sue ?

Okay I created this test back in 2016 on the french fandom, for the french fandom but its still so funny so if you want to try that test, please do. Don’t take it bad if your oc has several points doesn't make her Mary Sue and again these are only the clichés I noted, doesn't mean I got the absolute science on how to make a good OC and that my OCs does not correspond to these clichés or arn’t Mary Sues. Beware this test is full of sarcasm and second degree. Anyways ! Enjoy !

I. The design  of the OC  For your OC to be shitty, appearance is primordial. Therefor, I made you a list of clichés that you can try to cumulate to create a perfect Mary Sue. Are you ready ? At the end we’ll count the M.S points of our own Oc.  ღ Spiky hair, must be long, more likely black, red, yellow, with two colors that MUST be extra saturated ! You can take your favorite color if you want, it will work. Why thinking further ? xD  If you put two colors, make sure they clash with each other. Your hair style must be edgy, emo, so 2012 fashion with some bangs in front of the eye, nothing original please. Its weird to be original. AND WE DON’T WANT THAT. 

ღ  Piercings and tattoos are SWAG. But not any piercings or tattoo ! The labret is swag, the septum is swag, the eyebrow is swag, the belly button is swag but NEVER on the nostril its’s a golden rule of swag. Sorry. Have you ever seen an oc with a piercing in the nostril ? Nope, then don’t do that. Don’t try to invent new things. Originality is weird. 

ღ  About the body type, you got to stick to the canons : Huge breasts, large hips and butt, narrow waist (so narrow you don’t know how she can possibly bear her own weight). 

ღ If you REALLY don’t have any design ideas it doesn't matter. Make a gender-bend of Naruto or Sasuke. IT WORKS. 

II. The back story of your OC

For your OC to fit in the story like some shit falling on top of carbonara pastas, your backstory must be as CHEATED as possible. It must affect the main manager plot a maximum, just to enhance your oc. NEVER FORGET IT : Your OC is the center of the world. 

ღ Lets start by the beginning. For the name of your OC take some name that sounds Japanese. You can even invent one, as long as it sounds Japanese its perfect. To do so, insert some “ki” “ko” “su” “shi” “mi” et you got a name ! 

ღ Here is one of the supreme principle : Your OC is the most gorgeous, intelligent and strong. Its legit ALL THE MEN IN THE PLANET are desperately in love with her. 

ღ Your OC must be paired, or have had an affair, with at least one of the canon characters (better if its a main one) of the anime. Leave Shoji and and all the other Rock Lees for the ugly ones, YOU got Sasuke and Naruto waiting for you in your bed. So here’s a list of decent crush for a Goddess like your OC : 

Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, Gaara, Madara, Deidara. Others are for the ugly ones. Don’t touch it, may have diseases ... :/ 

ღ  As your OC is the strongest, she must have super badass jutsus and have a chakra of ALL TYPES AT A TIME, she must master ALL the technics, and the must is her having an demon within. If possible a demon with tails (we don’t know why it wasn't mentioned in the manga but WHO CARES ?) that would be stronger than all the canon demons combined ! OR she can cumulate all the demons. Another SWAG thing is to have special pupils. If you don’t have the creativity to invent some, just use the sharingan/byakugan, or directly the rinnegan. OR you can cumulate them. Do like Sasuke ! This guys was clever. He knows the secret of success. 

ღ  Your OC must FUCK the game, so don’t hesitate to make her a princess, a vampire, a Rage, or even a Goddess. SHE IS TOO HOT TO BE HUMAN. Regular shinnobis are for people with no ambitions. 

ღ When you have to describe her personality always indicate this : “sweet, shy, friendly, cold, mysterious, choleric, courageous.” How is it totally paradoxal ? WHO CARES ? It doesn't have to be accurate in your character in her story anyways, that’s just for the presentations. For your OC to be really obnoxious she has to have a shitty personality. She has to clash every canon characters, be a burden for everyone else, OR, the opposite, a fuckin’ Deus Ex Machina ! Your girl she would have kicked Madara’s emo ass in a sec ! 

ღ  Her relationships with the canon characters are VERY IMPORTANT. Try the hidden blood binding. It’s SOOO original. Incest is not to provide, we all love what’s forbidden by the law and morals ! But always use main characters first, and don’t hesitate to put your character in a canon team, even if you have to kick off Sakura to do so (after all who cares for her ?). And for secondary but popular characters such as Itachi, Gaara and Neji ... Well as long as they are canons and popular ! Its better if they are in the Akatsuki or Kages though ! The best thing would be to be the hidden maleficent twin of Sasuke and have an affair with him OR Naruto’s genderbend paired with Itachi. The really SWAG clans you can put your OC into if you got no creativity to create an over powered shitty clan are : Uchiha, Uzumaki, Namikaze and Otsutsuki, and Hyuga only if there is no more room in the previous I quoted. 

ღ  Your OC must have a tragical backstory, horrible and complicated, incoherent or completely empty and lacking of depth cumulating all the best clichés of the fandom. 

In the first case your OC is broken by her past traumatic experiences, which gives her a dark side, a madness within, an emo vibe. She must be complaining all the time about her misunderstood pain. 

In the second case, your OC must be cheesy, always smiling and enthusiastic for no reason, and be a little stupid. Okay VERY stupid. But well ! She has big tits at least ! So its fine. Her biggest trauma must not exceed in terms of violence her little brother finishing the Nutella. 

ღ  Or, you can also try having a SUPER weak OC. Because with Mary Sues you are either TOO strong or TOO weak. No nuance please. It would make your character too credible. AND WE DON’T WANT THAT. Your OC must be rejected by everyone, hated and underrated (#victimlol) only her One True Love will see the light behind her shaggy hair. 

ღ If you are a bit CrAzY you can invent a country where she’ll be on top, but the best is for her to come from Konoha. Stay on the right track. 

I think I gave you all the best tips I had to make an OC perfectly obnoxious. ♥ To illustrate my own sayings, let me introduce you, my own Mary Sue : 

Suskiki Uchiha ! 

Name : Suskiki Uchiha

Age : Immortal 

Team : 7 (who cares about Sakura anyways ? Lol) Family : parents : Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha / big brother : Itachi / twin brother : Sasuke / cousin : Naruto (yes its possible) Personality : Has big boobs Love interests : Sasuke, Naruto, Itachi, Gaara, Deidara, Suigetsu, Kakashi, Peter Pan, Edward Cullen and Jon Snow Story : Suskiki is the hidden sister of Sasuke. Not so hidden bc she is in team 7.  For real she is the princess vampire of and has the power of emo. Her childhood was so terrible you cant imagine. What was it ? Idk you cant imagine i said ! She supports Naruto since childhood bc they were both rejected. Why ? Bc she was too beautiful duh ! She has in her the demon Nyan cat dragon of darkness the most powerful of all ! She has both sharingan and byakugan for no reason (maybe her mom had an affair ?).  NOW LETS TRY THIS QUIZZ : 

Does your OC have : 

1)  Spiky or flashy hair ? 2)  Piercings/tattoos ? 3) Big breasts ?  4) Is she the female equivalent (physically) of a canon character ? 5) Was her name picked randomly because it sounded Japanese  ? 6) Are several canon characters into her ? (3 and more is yes).  7) Is she paired with one of the decent canons quoted before ?  8) Has she got a demon ? 9) Has she got special pupils ? Is she from a SWAG clan ? (if not you suck) 10) Does she have a special statut ? (princess, vampire, kage ...) 11) Is she “ “sweet, shy, friendly, cold, mysterious, choleric, courageous.”  at the same time ?  12) Does she have any blood binding with one of the canon characters ? Marriage doesn’t work.  13) Incestuous with one of the canons ? 14) Is she part of one of the main teams of the Naruto gen ? 15) Has she got a tragic back story ? 16) Is she bad at everything/super powerful ? 17) Was she rejected ?   18) Does she come from Konoha ? 19) Does she look like the  character she is paired with ?  20) Was she part of the Akatsuki or did she join Orochimaru ? 

So now you can count your points and it will give you a grade over 20. The closer you are to 20 the most Mary Suish your OC is. I personally tested it on Yukiko she got : 6 points. And you what is your score ? ;)

[whatsupstairs]

At that point the subsequent stage is to send a guarantee and they caution in large strong letters: If you send two cases, we will deny your guarantee demand!!

I nearly feel like i'm causing them a genuine bother with my guarantee. mastitis, engorgement, child encouraging, not having a siphon for about fourteen days are for the most part issues that they appear to be extremely indifferent about.

Purchase this siphon. Truly, quit looking, get it. This audit is long yet will ideally respond to any inquiries you have. Or on the other hand post one and I'll attempt to answer it.

Not long ago I had twins conceived at 34 weeks. They were progressing nicely, yet spent some time in the NICU. At the point when children are in the NICU, you become overly fixated on how a lot of milk they are getting. They can't return home until they take their "essentials" and put on weight. Subsequently, I've essentially been solely siphoning since they were conceived. My young lady would hook, yet I was unable to tell the amount she was getting and she would get drained following a couple of moments and wouldn't take the remainder of her jug. My kid had breathing issues from the start and was being sustained with a cylinder for the initial 10 days. After that he needed to figure out how to eat and would get worn out, so I didn't attempt to nurture him. Since I needed to sustain two and needed to share my stock, siphoning was the best approach.

Since I had preemies, my protection paid for me to utilize a Medela Lactina siphon. This is the huge blue thing that is "medical clinic evaluation" and retails for a boatload ($1500 for hell's sake!). I utilized the Lactina for the initial two months yet needed something increasingly compact (I purchased a vehicle connector so I could connect it and siphon in the vehicle on long outings). What's more, the Lactina is noisy as anyone can imagine, which was irritating and I really secured it with a cover to stifle the sound so I could siphon in a similar room my significant other and multi year old little girl were sitting in front of the TV in so I could be a piece of the family. I thought about getting a Medela Freestyle, however read blended audits about having the option to look after stockpile. Having twins I would not like to hazard my stockpile going down.

I went out on a limb an and purchased this siphon utilizing gift vouchers for about a large portion of the expense. I assumed if it didn't work in any event I wasn't out all the cash. Best. Choice. Ever.

Marvelousness:

- It is SUPER peaceful contrasted with the Lactina. I have no clue how it analyzes to different siphons, yet it will be pleasant to have busy working and have the option to pick up the telephone while siphoning.

- It is entirely versatile. I needed something I could clasp to my belt and stroll around the house, yet that is the Freestyle and I was unable to hazard it. This is really lightweight, and I'm really thinking about getting a strip through the handle and putting it over my neck. It never bombs that when I'm siphoning my significant other is out of the house and my more established little girl needs something. At any rate, I've put it on with my sans hands siphoning bra (Simple Wishes brand-purchase that as well) and had the option to put it on the kitchen counter to make containers or lunch or whatever. Haven't had a go at preparing supper yet, yet that may occur.

- Nightlight is truly flawless, and has two levels.

- Timer is a cool component. Most people don't have to siphon for more than 15-20 minutes, yet most people don't have twins. The clock close the siphon off following 30 minutes which is to what extent I siphon for. I used to set a clock on my telephone, however don't have to do that so much any longer.

- Massage highlight is entirely clever. This siphon nearly beats when making suction. It was somewhat unusual from the start since the other siphon didn't do it, yet it really makes siphoning truly agreeable. The "rub" include accelerates the siphon and is intended to invigorate frustration. When you have setback, you should kill the back rub include. (I don't, I like the quickest speed for my siphoning. Yet, once more, twins.)

- Memory include the siphon recalls what your last "typical" and "knead" settings were and returns to them.

- Vacuum control-I utilize the siphon on either level 2 or 3. It has 12 levels. Stunning. As a medical attendant I'm truly pondering who might require level 12. Perhaps for somebody with modified areolas. Possibly if the battery ever gets frail I'll have to go up.

Idiosyncrasies:

- It required some investment (most likely 12 hours) to completely charge the battery when I initially got the siphon. It additionally says it can run connected, which is valid, yet so far as should be obvious really utilizes the battery whether or not or not it is connected. I could not be right.

- If you utilize the nightlight include while siphoning it will deplete your battery quicker, and you will probably not get an entire three hours of siphon time. Presumably not an issue for a great many people but rather important.

- The containers and siphon pack are quite modest. That would likely be my greatest issue about the entire thing. In the event that we are spending this a lot of cash on a siphon, the pack ought to be outstanding. (Most siphon units are quite horrendous, so this is about decent.) But everything isn't lost. The parts of the bargains really fit into my unit I had been utilizing with my Medela. Likewise, and this is an issue with most siphon units, most ladies would need to lean forward to get the milk to drop down when sitting upstanding. Along these lines, my Lactina pack had removable spines which I quickly hurled and utilized the calculated ones from Pumpin' Pal. (Purchase those as well.) Also, I purchased a siphon connector unit that worked with the Playtex bottles I was utilizing so I could siphon legitimately into the drop-in liners. (Cleaner that way, in the end the containers will get gross regardless of what you do.)

- If you are not utilizing their reverse valves, you have to focus on your tubing. I am not, and have gotten some dampness into one of the cylinders on the end. I simply blow it out with a hair dryer in a few seconds. The tubing is not much and you could undoubtedly supplant it with something from the tool shop on the off chance that you expected to. It would likewise be quite simple to jerryrig the tubing from another siphon pack, which I may do so I can join the reverse valves.

The "cons" I recorded here may appear to be a ton, yet to me it wasn't sufficient that I would remove a star. I've had it for about fourteen days and I love it, and haven't saw a drop in supply. I'll refresh this audit in the event that anything changes, yet I don't see that occurrence.

So go purchase this siphon. Or then again put it on your library or list of things to get. You won't be grieved.

Connections for the items I referenced:

Pumpin' Pal Super Shields, Angled Pumping Flanges, the Best Flanges By Far in a Complete Set of All Sizes Mom Will Need

Straightforward Wishes Hands-Free Breastpump Bra, Pink, XS-L

Playtex Drop-Ins System Breast Milk Storage Kit

Refreshed 10/16/13 - A couple more item connects for all the parts I'm utilizing with my cobbled-together custom made unit. You truly needn't bother with anything other than the calculated spines and sans hands siphoning bra, however on the off chance that you needed to sort something out that is more easy to understand, here are the connections:

Medela Personal Fit Breastsheild Connectors - Medela 87071

Medela Valves and Membranes (Set of 1)

UPDATE 10/28/13-I've returned to work and am taking this siphon to and fro. I simply put it in a little tote pack I had at home. I made two siphon units so I can leave one at home and one in my office grinding away and all I reclaim and forward is the siphon. That likely wasn't fundamental, however I presumably would have wound up overlooking something one day so this was my approach to ensure that didn't occur. Siphon is magnificent, and no one can hear it when I pick up the telephone. The specialist in the workplace beside me is siphoning also, and you can hear her siphon a few doors down...

- Also, I at last appended the reverse valves. I essentially simply cut the tubing and connected one piece to either side of the valve. It's a little test to get the tubing on the huge side, however it fits. Presently I can even now stick the finish of the tubing into my hand crafted Medela pack and it works incredible and I don't have to stress over dampness getting into my siphon.

On the off chance that you have questions, post them and I'll put forth a valiant effort to reply! (I should likely simply make a video...)

Best siphon ever (just siphon I've utilized however just a single I will ever require!) I am an all day working mother. I was fortunate to get 13 weeks of maternity leave. I was concerned when I had my infant since I have bosom inserts (beneath muscle). Be that as it may, after birth (by means of csection), my child hooked and we were good to go.

I breastfed just for initial 3 weeks. At that point I presented 1-2 siphons per day. I didn't get a lot yet that was normal. Around the 5-6week imprint I started siphoning and reserving all the more much of the time. When I returned to work at 13 weeks pp I had 800oz in my profound cooler.

My infant is presently 23 weeks old and I have 1750oz in my profound cooler she despite everything medical attendants. This siphon is AMAZING! It's pleasant to have the portability of a battery-powered battery Bc I can siphon and do tasks and even siphon in the rearward sitting arrangement of a vehicle while another person is driving.

I have been isolated from my child for as long as 20 hours and this siphon is astounding! I would enthusiastically prescribe to anybody over any of different brands. I have even persuaded some regarding my second time mothers to change to this siphon (since it is free w protection) and they have adored it and expressed gratitude toward me a 100times over.

The joined pictures are of my solidified milk stash and the other is an image of my morning siphon (subsequent to breastfeeding my infant young lady).

Cheers and glad infant sustaining!

I bought this siphon out of pocket and afterward sent receipt and repayment application to tricare and they restored my cash 100%. So justified, despite all the trouble supposing that you experience a retailer they will just give you the S2 (which isn't battery-powered).

[ritterritter8-blog]

Orange County Shifting Firms - Merit Shifting Systems

Orange County Transferring Firms - Merit Transferring Systems

moving service orange county

It does not imply you want to carry heavy masses; go away this job to the movers, which know find out how to do it fast. Extra bins imply extra money, so the shifting expenditure rises and you begin occupied with different options that might not be good to your fragile stuff. As you may guess, and after studying the reviews under, I am taking my business elsewhere. Furniture and Cubicles - From tear-down to installation of workplace furniture, your online business can profit from a fast relocation without burdening your workers. Executive Moving Techniques Inc. is the leading Orange County enterprise mover in relation to office and business relocation, whether you are shifting across the street or across the nation. We offer FF&E renovation projects, office tools installations, piano shifting, antiques shifting, artwork shifting, and more. By means of our partnership with STI, we will move gadgets that other carriers cannot move safely or efficiently, and we provide business-leading high quality assurance.

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Storage service

2 years in the past from UK

Tools & Furnishings Storage

5 years in the past from Chemainus. BC, Canada

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[deathbyhysteria]

57 facts tag !!

i was tagged by @serensims - thank you for tagging me even though i took so long because it gave me a migraine lol

i tag @gemgeminox @maplestreetsims @justkeeponsimming @all-harlows-eve @daisydezem and anyone else who wants to have a go.

facts are under the cut!

1.   i just turned 21 years old

2.  i am studying law in london

3.   when i finish i may go and do a postgrad somewhere abroad! we’ll see

4.   i have literally no hobbies now

5.   when i was younger i used to do ballet, viola, piano, guitar, yoga, drama, dance, singing and ballroom dancing - not all at the same time (i.e. i was much more well rounded than i am now)

6.   i have one younger sister

7.   i always wanted to have an older sibling, especially an older brother

8.    i used to be a big reader but i stopped. but over the summer i’ve been reading more again, especially crime books by Harlan Coben

9.    some shows i’ve been watching a lot of over the summer: bojack horseman, 3%, the flash

10.   s5 of bojack horseman actually came out on my birthday and i tried to rewatch all 4 seasons before then but i failed. however i just started the new season today!

11.   i was admitted to hospital twice over the summer, once while i was abroad i’m holiday which SUCKED

12.   i love travelling and some of the places i’ve been to are: italy, cyprus, various places in the usa, jamaica, mexico, nigeria, greece, spain, switzerland.

13.   my dream destination is japan... i would love to visit so badly

14.   speaking of japan, my favourite cuisine is actually japanese food, and i also really enjoy chinese and what little i have tried of vietnamese food too

15.   i have only one (two?) piercings and that’s my ear lobes. but i would love to get a second set of piercing on my lobes and i’m hoping to do it in the near future

16.  i’d love to get a tattoo one day but i’m not sure what i’d get and also i don’t like pain

17.   i’m in and out of hospital kinda frequently because of a medical condition i have (without going into specifics, you could say i’m a little like a spoonie)

18.   the only surgery i’ve had was when i was about 6 years old and i had my tonsils removed

19.   i really like makeup and i can get quite creative with it, but i don’t tend to wear anything outside of mascara, my go to lipstick (which is touch by mac) and possibly eyeliner on a daily basis

20.   i’m 5ft 7in (and a half)

21.   i know basic french and a little more than basic spanish, and i’m a native english speaker

22.   this year i’m learning yoruba, and i’m also hoping to pick up some basic german too

23.   i rarely cry at movies but the only ones which did manage to make me cry were: titanic (i’m sure i was too young to be watching it at the time), princess and the pea, boy in the striped pyjamas... oh and avengers: infinity war which made me bawl like my puppy had died

24.  i’m a really big fan of the mcu and i always go to watch the new releases in the cinema with my sister and my dad

25.   i’ve never see the incredible hulk so idk maybe that makes me a fake fan

26.   i had to wear braces for 6-7 years? but afterwards i stopped wearing my retainers so some of the gaps opened up in my teeth again 🤷‍♀️ what can you do

27.   i love music and i always try to give every genre a go... the only one i can’t deal with is country music

28.   my favourite thing is getting to see live music and i’ve gotten to see: one direction (my first concert!), 5 seconds of summer, little mix, twenty one pilots, hey violet and most recently taylor swift

29.   i’m still taking driving lessons over a year after i first started but my driving test is booked for next friday so idk maybe i’ll have an official license soon if i don’t flop

30.   i had 4 really close friends in high school but after that we kinda grew apart and i got pretty lonely and pretty bad (read: ridiculously awful) at making friends

31.   i did struggle with depression and mild anxiety in the past

32.   if you have mental health issues - please try and talk to someone about it. keep trying until you find someone you can trust. it took me a long time to admit i needed help and even longer to find someone i felt comfortable confiding in, but it was the best thing i ever did.

33.   i did really really well in my gcse’s but since then i’ve just gotten dumber i guess because all my grades have been nothing short of average, sometimes even significantly below average

34.   tumblr is basically the only social media i use now. i stopped using facebook, twitter and instagram, and i only keep the snapchat app around so i can take cute selfies, but i don’t ever post

35.   it’s 2am as i type this and i’m running out of things to say

36.   i used to get really painful periods, to the point where i was basically bedridden and the pain was enough to make me physically throw up. luckily they aren’t as bad anymore

37.   i love the summer and i really need that vitamin d in my life

38.   i really love winter clothes and big loose comfy sweaters are literally my favourite thing

39.   i drink a lot of tea, especially green tea with lots of honey

40.   i’m mildly lactose intolerant and yesterday i drank a chocolate milk which had some adverse effects... it wasn’t worth it tbh it tasted kinda nasty

41.   i used to really love bratz and i watched all the movies and even bought some of their albums

42.  i can’t really walk in heels but i’m trying... platform heels are not so bad but then i get people telling me i’m tall already so i don’t need to wear heels (as if i don’t just wear them because i like them)

43. i love lush bath bombs and i always have a few hanging around my bathroom

44.   my dress size is like a 10 but sometimes i have to go up a size because of my big bust, which i hate

45.   i actually really enjoy playing the papa’s pizzeria franchise online and they’re like my go to games when i’m really bored

46.   speaking of games i also really love phoenix wright, i’m playing the trilogy on the app now as i had only played ace attorney before

47.   i love getting manicures and idk why but i always tend to paint my nails dark blue... there’s this shade this one shade and no matter which nail bar you send me to, if they have it i’ll always pick it out without even realising it

48.   i play sims on my macbook air which probably isn’t a great pc for gaming bc it always makes the fan go absolutely crazy, although my game never lags even back when i used alpha cc

49.   i played the og sims but i never played sims 2 or 3 and i also never bought any expansion packs even though i was desperate to

50.   i wear a lot of black, not intentionally but probably because it’s just a safe colour that you can’t go wrong with

51.   i actually really enjoy getting socks as a gift but no one buys me them because i think it’s a universally accepted fact that socks are a rubbish gift

52.   i don’t own any trousers that aren’t jeans and i think that’s probably a little odd but i’m not sure

53.  i don’t have a great track record of keeping my mobile safe and i’ve ruined a lot of good phones by cracking the screen, dropping them in the toilet, dropping them into my cereal, or just plain losing them

54.   speaking of which i currently have an iphone 6s in rose gold and i love it and don’t care all that much to upgrade it. but it only has 16gb of space and i’m desperate for more

55.   i also really enjoy getting new pyjamas. and my favourite pyjamas are the ones that aren’t pyjamas at all i.e. just give me a t-shirt in size xxxl and i’m good to go

56.   i wear glasses because i have a lazy eye and i’m also long sighted (which is an absolute recipe for disaster when you’re trying to apply eyeliner, let me tell you)

57.   i’m genuinely surprised that i managed to list 57 facts about me!

[sonoda-oomers]

i’m someone who makes art. i like to paint and draw. it’s been a rough couple of months, to the point where i fear the moments where i feel normal and fine might just be me too desensitized to recognize a bad mental state.

so yknow, the apocalypse greeted us.

realistically i haven’t left my house in a while, long before the plague started, though of course it made it worse. i dropped out of college originally to take care of my mental health but the pandemic smashed any improvement i might’ve made just as it smashed my whole college class’s start at professional adult life. for a good while now i haven’t had money to spend and people to meet, so i never spent that much time outside the house in any healthy amount. it didn’t feel severe when i was a teenage kid being told studying is my job, but it’s a different matter as a twenty-something-year old.

i had a job for a little while, being an assistant to one of my college professors as she tried to start an english night class thing. i retired from it when i dropped out of college too, and a while later our relationship soured over something i’m still really unsure about. and i haven’t been employed ever since. i’m 24 now.

at the end of 2019 i was sponsored do learn painting in a more structured setting. that led to a bizarre period of online artist depression as i clearly saw my art improve and was eager to show the world, but never got the social capital i deserved.

for a while after that my defense mechanism was convincing myself that i don’t really care. i installed twitter demetricator and made it hard to access my twitter notifications so i can’t obsess over the abysmal amount of likes and retweets i get. i adopted this incredibly detrimental mindset of “draw something finish it and move on”. even now as i’m unlearning all the detrimental stuff i did to myself i’m still struggling so so hard to not let social numbers destroy my psyche.

it’s nigh impossible to do so. because i’m still unemployed. because i tried to apply to an illustrator job earlier this year bc i felt like i was ready, and then they ghosted me after i submitted the design they told me to do as part of a test. and then immediately a bunch of things happened and lockdown started and not only was it more difficult to find employment my mental health quickly went back to not being ready for professional work again. i put up “emergency” commissions twice and only got 2 orders for the second time because my friends wanted to give me something nice for my birthday. and it was really nice i could get a couple of things i wanted and got ~$100 saved up. and then my brother’s monitor broke and he needed it replaced immediately to do online class. so i gave my brothers $100 for like one third of the money needed.

i don’t have any source of income except the $40 a month i get from my patreon. which is what i earn after having this thing for 3 years.

i put up commissions again a few days ago. i set it to end no matter how many orders i’d get, maybe none at all, at the end of december so i don’t humiliate myself again.

so. y’know. i don’t have a college diploma. i’m mentally and physically ill. my little brother is 5 years younger than me and have worked a few jobs since before he turned 18 and he’s practically feeding the family now. i’m 24 years old. i’m typing a tumblr post with the fancy keyboard my brother bought.

it’s like. what advice do you even give, what help do you even give an artist who still earns only $40 after 3 years on patreon, still can’t break 600 followers after a few years on twitter, still has like ~20 retweets on their commission post but depends on this to make any kind of, just any meager amount of money they can because they’ve spent their entire life fighting with themselves to justify the oxygen they breathe? what kind of help can they even give themselves?

i feel bad even when people give me words of encouragement or reassurance. i feel bad that i have to show people my suffering even when it’s abundantly clear that if i don’t i might explode. these past few months i hardly drew at all bc the pressure to “stay active” on social media so people will see me and give me money was so soul crushing that it ended up doing the opposite. yet it persists to guilt me and call my names in my head. all the while people on twitter are dropping thousands of dollars transformed into more heat to melt the ice caps and forming cultlike circles around their investment in randomly generated monkey art.

i just don’t know. these days even my resolve to keep a normal sleeping schedule is struggling to keep up, as the energy to force myself to bed and lie down with my thoughts for 30 minutes minimum before i become unconscious is growing more and more equivalent to the exhaustion i’d feel after not sleeping all night. it’s like, whatever. it’s not like i’m doing anything of enough value to need to not be exhausted.

i know it’s bad to give myself up and spiral. but it’s been an uphill battle for years and years and i’m exhausted. i don’t know what i’m fighting for anymore. i don’t know where the value of my existence lies because all that clouds my eyes is the desperation to make something of myself and the self loathing that comes with continuous failure. i don’t know. i just don’t know.

[pstumpclub]

Dylan’s Easy Edible Fake Blood Recipe

this stuff is so easy to make and you don't need corn syrup or starch!! i personally had all the ingredients already at home and just threw them together

YOU WILL NEED:

honey

gel food coloring

a microwave-safe bowl

a spoon or other stirring utensil

extracts or other flavoring of your choice (optional)

something to store your finished product in

that's it!!

PROCEDURE:

start by spooning as much honey as you want into the bowl

microwave your honey in 10-second intervals, stirring in between, until the honey reaches a thin liquid consistency (don't worry, it will thicken up again once it cools)

add drops of red food coloring one by one, stir in between until the color is evenly distributed. remember to add slowly and not too much!! you can always add more but you can't take away

you can stop here if you want, especially if you're going for something more cartoonish! you should be left with a bright or neon red depending on the brand and shade you used

if you are trying to add hyperrealism, add (VERY SMALL) drops of blue food coloring to darken the color

you can make your "blood" any color and adjust the food dye accordingly! last time i made this i was trying to make black, so i added more blue and a drop or two of yellow

once your honey is mixed evenly, you can now add something to flavor it if you don't like the taste of honey or just for fun. i used peppermint extract

at this point it should be cooling down and returning to its thick sticky consistency

if you're saving your "blood" for later, store it in tupperware, a plastic bag, etc. i used a ziploc bag so that i could cut the corner later and use it as a piping bag since i was creating drips

and you're done! here's a bit of extra info bc i'm Like That

PROS:

skin safe, edible, and imo super yummy!

drips very realistically and stays where you put it

will not stain your skin (as far as i know. i've kept it on for a good 15-20 minutes and had no stains)

cheap as heck wow

lasts super long (honey never expires! i would not rly suggest testing that tho)

CONS:

drips A LOT. will drip on everything that you love

never dries

STICKY and this can make removal a little bit tougher

may not stain your skin but will definitely stain your tongue if you eat enough of it

not 100% opaque

that's the end of my tutorial! have fun scaring people my friends