#the anxiety will still be there tomorrow but so will I

[rametarin]

I relate to this. Before the Soviet Union fell, this was why the 80s was so colorful and violently carefree.

During the height of the cold war after you learned the bombs could drop at any time over some stupid Butter Side Up or Down, the anxiety led to a very "fuck it, may not be here tomorrow" attitude.

It's an amazing contrast I see among my fellow Americans that were born pre- and post- collapse of the Soviet Union. They never grew up under the threat of Russia being an instigating, antagonistic and competent piece of shit (a threat Russia's neighbors still face, to this day.) Just an impoverished mafioso gas station with some rusting, aging bombs in the back.

I post rarely here, so a life update: today a russian-iranian drone debris fell next to my institute. All windows are broken, my groupmates from the dorm nearby say even their plates broke

Russia must die

[sjylouvre]

You’ve Got This (SJY)

PAIRING ➤ sim jaeyun x afab!reader

GENRE ➤ fluff

WARNINGS ➤ kisses, reader is overthinking, stressed out, proofread but i'm sorry if there's mistakes! (Imk if i missed something pls!!)

WORD COUNT ➤ 1.2k

MASTERLIST

The night before your big presentation, the room feels like it’s closing in around you. Notes are scattered everywhere—on the bed, on the table, some even in your hands—but no matter how much you read them, the words just won’t stick. The reality of speaking in front of over 50 people looms over you, making your stomach twist with dread. Each time you try to rehearse a line, your heart races, and it’s as if the very air in the room is too thick to breathe.

Jake’s been watching you silently for a while, his gaze soft and worried. Finally, he stands up, crossing the room and gently places a hand on your shoulder, his touch instantly grounding you. “Hey, babe,” he says softly, his voice like a balm against the tension in the air. “You’re doing that thing again.”

You blink, glancing at him with wide, slightly panicked eyes. “What thing?”

“The thing where you get so in your head that you forget to breathe,” he says, smiling a little as he rubs small, soothing circles on your shoulder. “Come on. Sit down with me for a sec.”

He leads you over to the edge of the bed, where he sits down beside you, keeping his arm around your shoulder, his other hand moving to rest gently on your knee. You feel the warmth of his touch, the steady rhythm of his breaths, and some of the tightness in your chest begins to ease.

“Jake… I don’t think I can do this,” you mumble, barely above a whisper, your eyes fixed on your notes. “Every time I think about all those people watching me, I freeze. What if I completely mess up? What if I stand there and just… go blank?”

Jake’s hand moves from your shoulder to your back, his palm pressing softly against you in a comforting rhythm. “You’re not going to mess up. You’ve been practicing for this for weeks. You know this material inside and out.” His voice is steady, gentle, but filled with conviction. “And even if you do stumble, it won’t matter, because everyone in that room is there to listen, not to judge.”

You bite your lip, still feeling the knot of worry that refuses to leave. “But what if I forget everything? What if I just… blank out?”

He takes your hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Then you take a deep breath, and you remember that you have a whole room of people waiting to hear something incredible from you. If you need a moment, take it. You don’t have to be perfect.” His eyes meet yours, filled with a warmth that makes your heart stutter. “You’re going to do amazing, because you’re you. And that’s enough.”

You close your eyes, his words sinking in, but the anxiety is stubborn. “It doesn’t feel like it’s enough, Jake… I’m so scared of disappointing everyone. Disappointing… myself.”

He moves closer, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you fully into his embrace. “Hey,” he murmurs, his voice a comforting whisper in your ear. “You won’t disappoint anyone. Least of all yourself. You care so much about this, and that’s what’s going to make you shine up there. People can tell when someone’s passionate about something.”

You can feel your heart begin to calm just a little, lulled by his closeness, his steady breathing. “I just… I’ve never felt this kind of pressure before. It feels like all these expectations are suffocating me.”

Jake tightens his hold on you, one of his hands moving to gently rub your back. “Then let me take some of that pressure off you. How about this? Tomorrow, when you’re up there, I’ll be right in the front row, smiling at you the entire time. Every time you look at me, you’ll know you’re not alone.” His voice is so sure, so steady, that for a moment, you let yourself believe it too.

You pull back slightly, looking into his eyes, and find a soft smile spreading across your face. “You really believe in me that much?”

He grins, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “More than you know. You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and I don’t just say that to make you feel better.” He tucks the strand behind your ear, his fingers lingering just a little longer against your skin. “I know you’re scared. And that’s okay. Being nervous just means this matters to you.”

You sigh, feeling a mix of relief and lingering nerves. “What if I lose my place? What if I stammer and forget where I am?”

Jake’s hand moves to cradle your cheek, his thumb gently brushing over your skin. “Then you’ll pause, take a deep breath, and just keep going. Nobody will judge you for needing a moment.” He tilts his head, his gaze tender. “You’re human, babe. You’re allowed to not be perfect.”

You close your eyes, leaning into his touch, feeling some of the weight finally lifting. “It’s just… it’s hard to believe that everyone else will be as understanding as you.”

“Well,” he says with a playful glint in his eye, “if anyone isn’t, I’ll just have to take a stern talk with them afterward.” He winks, and you can’t help but laugh, a sound that feels freeing, even if just for a moment.

“Thanks, Jake. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Luckily, you don’t have to find out,” he murmurs, his lips warm against your skin. He wraps his arms around you again, pulling you into his chest as he rests his chin on top of your head. “Now, here’s the plan. You’re going to get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow, when you walk out there, you’re going to remember that you’re not alone. I’ll be right there. And when you finish, I’ll be the first one standing up, clapping my hands like a madman.”

You laugh softly, imagining Jake cheering for you in the audience, his face lit up with pride. “You’re really going to clap like a madman?”

He chuckles, nodding with a mischievous grin. “Absolutely. I might even embarrass you a little by yelling out how amazing you were.”

You shake your head, feeling the last bits of tension slip away, replaced by warmth and gratitude. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it.” He kisses you again, this time on the tip of your nose, and you feel your cheeks flush. “Now, promise me you’ll at least try to sleep? You need your rest, or you’ll end up overthinking everything again.”

You nod, feeling genuinely relaxed for the first time that evening. “I’ll try. But… will you stay with me?”

He smiles, pulling the covers back and guiding you to lie down beside him. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close as you nestle against his chest, his warmth surrounding you like a cocoon. “Just close your eyes, okay? And remember… you’ve got this.”

With his hand gently stroking your hair, his steady heartbeat in your ear, and his quiet, comforting presence beside you, you start to feel the last remnants of fear melt away. As you drift off, his words echo softly in your mind: You’ve got this. And somehow, with him beside you, it starts to feel like the truth.

© sjylouvre 2024, do not copy, steal, remake or brand my content as yours.

[musings-of-the-void]

If you tore open my chest you’d find my heart

Beating beating beating like each beat will be its last

Trapped in the cage of my ribs

The cage of my life

My lungs, a lifeless gray

Struggle to inflate

I gasp for breath, though there is no visible obstruction

If you tore me open just to see me I might thank you

As fucked up as that is

I want to be seen I want to be known I want to be understood

And how can you see me if you can’t see the bloody redness of my insides

The wildness of my heart

The messy humanness of my very being?

My heart is beating beating beating but I live

I breathe

My lungs are screaming screaming screaming but there will

Be peace

I am living I am human I am real

And the messiness is only proof

The fear is only proof

I’m afraid because I’m alive

What is there to fear once you’ve died?

(I’m morbid after 11, as you see)

I will breathe tomorrow

My heart will beat tomorrow

I will live I will live I will live

I will look back someday

And the fear will seem only flavor

I will live

[julianxhawthorne]

“It is a fair trade, I’d say. If anyone I’d rather go through the emotions with you. All of them.” He told her, not just wanting to share the good times, which went without saying. Feeling her warmth in their embrace, watching the rushing on the ocean and the stars lit above them, he felt peace, even if there was still the gnawing anxiety in the pit of his stomach. He found himself smiling at her words, humming and nodding along in agreement. “I’ll call you wifey all day long if you’d let me. But I wouldn’t want to spoil the feeling for when we are married. So I’ll be good.” He told her, kissing her on the cheek. “We can start tomorrow. Look online for ideas, make an inspiration book or something. You’re crafty.” If anything, if this test proved what they already knew, it would be a distraction into doing something fun. “Come on. I think those tests are done.” Julian spoke, kissing her on the shoulder before he stepped back, letting his hand slide down her arm until he took her by the hand and guiding her back. “Deep breaths.” @havenbsinclair

Julian let her take the lead, following her to wherever she felt like being. So once they stopped in front of the glass wall, showing the entire coast line for as far as their sight could reach. His arms slid around her, capturing her hands in his and folding her arms in front of her chest in an embrace, standing with his chest against her back. "It's only right for you to scare me when you are." He told her, hoping that her emotions had somewhat settled, which was highly unlikely as his head was still spinning. "I love you." Julian whispered back, leaning his head against hers, slightly swaying her left to right in very small movements. "I like to remind myself you get to be my wife from time to time." He cheekily confessed, hoping to get her mind to other things. @havenbsinclair

[depravedangelbaby]

oop this is a reminder to self/others to get up to date on the covid vaccine n stock back up on kn95s!!!!!

[thekidsarentalright]

just saw someone posted this on twitter erm. theyre so scary

[good-beans]

🚗‼️

[quotidian-oblivion]

🎶I am filled with so much anxietyyy🎶

[otaku553]

so you know how I've been talking about the Kazuha Demon Slayer crossover for ages now?

Hahahaha

Chapter 1 is out :)

[volfoss]

Everyone loves me and I'm so so so employable<- affirmations

[crazysodomite]

Social media is kinda twisted and it's scary to realize how it warps everything around it

[leviiackrman]

Thought I would update:

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[moondvncer]

🧿

[deus-ex-mona]

anyways, in honour of 1 year of honeypre (rip) eos, what were your top stats like at the end of the game? i’ll go first~~~

[thekidsarentalright]

tooth pain should be illegal like what business do these bones in my mouth having w hurting and aching it’s the fucking worst 😭