#the angst potential in both scenarios is making me jump | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ahundredtimesover · 5 months

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Omg the mysteries have been unveiled!!!! Can't put into words how much I love this story. Thank you endlessly for putting so much effort, time, and care into it. It's amazing that we get to share the fruits of your talent! It's even crazier that you managed to build a story that just ticks all the points for me and scratches my brain just right.

I commend you for not falling into the common traps of fanfic writing by rushing into things and buying into scenarios that are just not realistic for a non-fantasy fic. As much as the characters' decisions, actions, and attitudes might frustrate us, that's what being human is like! That's real! That's life! We are so contradictory, and we say the wrong thing or the right thing at the wrong time, or we fail to say what must be said.

I will admit that I've been frustrated by both jk and oc throughout the story, and thought they made things more complicated than way they needed to be but now I understand why it's taken so long to get to this point. I get oc's desperation to break free. At first, I was so confused. Why walk away from a job that gives you a decent wage and is prestigious? Surely not everyone likes their job all the time, and would like to have more money, more free time... Now, I understand her fully, and I empathize. There's nothing worse than feeling indebted, subservient, ashamed... it's like she has been walking on eggshells all the time. Even if the family didn't see her in a negative light or looked down on her, sometimes your insecurities get the best of you and your brain convinces you that the worst case scenario is indeed happening right under your nose.

I'm excited to see her heal, grow, and THRIVE! I want to see her comfortable in her own skin, to believe and KNOW she deserves positive things in her life, to feel invigorated by her job, to feel more relaxed, to have time for herself, to find hobbies and passions. Who knows... maybe she dabbles in writing in the future? 👀👀 (She did mention she loves storytelling and the creative process). Of course, healing is complicated and I predict she might have hard times ahead, wondering if she did the right thing, if walking away from jk means losing him forever...

I hope the time apart (hopefully not too long 🙏, although it makes the most sense) allows them both to see things more clearly and approach their feelings in a new light, without the baggage of power dynamics. Starting a relationship with your boss is just yucky, BIG no. For the people saying that's what should've happened... how would that have made her look like? Oh, yall helped my mom and I escape domestic violence, pay for my uni education, gave me an internship and a job (although my girl earned this, but yk negative self talk), AND then I start sleeping and dating one of the company heirs whilst still working as his assistant? Absolutely not.

Also, jumping right into the relationship after her resignation seems too rushed as well, oc more than jk (imo) needs to sort herself out and find herself, find her identity away from the shadows of her past and jk's family and company. How can she be in her first actual relationship if she feels like she can't stand on her own two feet? How can she do good by her and jk if she feels insecure, lost, and unfulfilled? Love and intimacy don't solve all your life problems. That's the heartbreaking realization they both are starting to have. I will say that seeing the more romantic side of jk and oc was soooo cute. His reasoning (although flawed) of wanting to keep her in the company in order to ensure her being respected and safe warmed my heart. I agree with that other anon that jk might not take the separation too well, and might revert back to his old ways, which could potentially put off oc? She might be at a point where she wants to reconnect, and he's just not there yet (I won't mind this possibility because I, too, LOVE angst 😭)

Also Mr. Ri's backstory :( Bless his heart. He has done so so good by oc and her mom. He deserves ultimate happiness, as well. Also, what about Mr YOONGI! I can't wait to read his opinion about all this and how he will try to help out both of them.

Overall, what a chapter. It has been my favorite yet (hard choice cause you have a goldmine here). I can't wait (I can and I will) for chapter 12!! Much love ❤️

(I'm usually an anonymous fan, but this story is just so good I'm powering through my shyness and panic to send this message off anon 🫣)

HIII oh wow, so much to absorb here and I love it! 🥹Which is also why I took a while to respond. I loved reading through this and knowing what you thought. This story took months of frustration and stress to come together haha but I'm glad it’s able to resonate with readers and you guys can see what I was trying to say through the characters. 😌😌

It's a slowburn for the reason that it's important to get to fully know them, from their pains to their hopes because it's how we understand why they do what they do; it's how we connect with them, too. Bc these very flawed humans have bits and pieces of us in them. Especially with OC - no matter how 'good' a job seems to be, if it doesn't fulfil your desires, if it makes you doubt what you've achieved, it's gonna constantly eat at you, and it finally became too much for her once she realized that her feelings for JK would keep her in a place that she's not happy in, even if the man who makes her happy is right there. Obviously there are the hindrances given their positions, but ultimately it's OC making a decision for herself.

It's also interesting to note what you and other readers propose or believe must be the way forward. They both need healing, but clearly all the years they've spent alone and on their own haven't really done anything good to them. And also, they didn't go through a breakup. It's more like a rejection of requited feelings, and like I said to another reader, they don't know what happiness with each other feels like, and they may not exactly need healing from each other. As we've seen, they find comfort in each other. But I totally get what you're saying about needing time away. Much of OC's feelings of being lost and insecure and unfulfilled are tied to her job, and now that she no longer feels bound by it... it's a good thing! This is actually what I was hoping that people would see because echoing what you're also saying, being apart isn't always a bad thing. 😉

We love Mr. Ri! He's such a comforting character, so is Yoongi. And together with Jimin, we see that OC still has good men around her despite the other assholes she dated. 😌 and also, if u think this JK is romantic... AWW WAIT UNTIL rich boyfriend jk happens 🤭🤭 hahaha but anyway. I loved this. Thank you so much for coming out of the shadows and dropping by. I super appreciate it. It makes me feel fulfilled that I could give you something to ponder and hope about. 💕

I hope you're well! Stay safe always! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts

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karouvas · 11 months

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for the ship ask game:

elena gilbert and bonnie bennett from tvd

& spencer hastings and aria montgomery from pll!

Elena

My NOTP for them: Delena

• My BROTP for them: Jenna I love their dynamic in the first two seasons, Barolena, Tyler the few times they interact

• My OTP for them: Elena/Rebekah <333

• My second choice pairing for them: probably Elena/Elijah although I ship them way less than Beklena

• My fluffy pairing for them: pre series / s1 Bonlena probably

• My angsty pairing for them: idk… I could see angst hurt/comfort scenario potential for Bonlena or Carolena

• My favorite poly ship for them: I could say Barolena again or alternately even though I’m not emotionally invested in SE (I find them more interesting than DE especially on rewatch but have as many issues w it) Elena/Rebekah/Stefan is interesting especially where I am in my rewatch rn

• My weirdest pairing for them: idk, my otp for her being Beklena is out of the norm for sure so. Maybe kelena which I both do and don’t ship romantically, it’s my favorite Elena dynamic but probably my 5th favorite Elena “ship” if that makes sense so… idk maybe that.

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Carolena insert my response when you asked me how I feel about them, also Elejah although considering all Elijah’s dynamics got less interesting to me as I saw more of them it’s probably good there was little follow up.

Bonnie

My NOTP for them: it’s less about the ship itself and more how the ship is used in the narrative I resent but Bonnie/Jeremy

• My BROTP for them: Barolena, Sheila in s1 + any afterlife cameo or time it was given relevancy after. Also like the only times I even sort of liked Matt were some of their one on one scenes like in The Reckoning..

• My OTP for them: Bamon sometimes to my chagrin but is what it is

• My second choice pairing for them: Bonora

• My fluffy pairing for them: Baroline

• My angsty pairing for them: Bamon and Bonkai

• My favorite poly ship for them: Bamenzo was something serious I have to say

• My weirdest pairing for them: not really weird but I do like Bonnie/Kai which ik is controversial (although I side eye when fans suddenly have morals about that ship and Only that ship in the verse..)

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Kennett and Klonnie

Spencer

My NOTP for them: Wren, Toby anytime after s1

• My BROTP for them: the liars although I also ship her with them all romantically, Jason, Melissa

• My OTP for them: I have multiple but Spemily is my favorite

• My second choice pairing for them:going to say Spona and Sparia tie love them both for different reasons, and they’re also Otp’s I just go harder for Spemily because not enough people care like I do..

• My fluffy pairing for them: pre time jump Spanna

• My angsty pairing for them: Sparia actually specifically s4 and S7 Sparia, also post jump Spanna

• My favorite poly ship for them: Spencer/Emily/Alison is great but I also love Spencer/Mona/Hanna and basically any poly ship between the girls..

• My weirdest pairing for them: idk I like Spencer/Caleb a little more than most people I think? I definitely like it better than any other m/f ship for her although it’s far from a fav

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Caleb/Spencer/Hanna maybe?

Aria

My NOTP for them: Ezria ofc

• My BROTP for them: The Liars,Mike

• My OTP for them: Sparia

• My second choice pairing for them: Arison

• My fluffy pairing for them: Emaria show or book, book Naria

• My angsty pairing for them: Sparia and Arison can both work

• My favorite poly ship for them: hmm my first thought was the book Aria/Courtney/Emily dynamic actually, also Emily/Aria/Noel. Show wise thinking… actually think Aria-Spencer-Mona would be really interesting

• My weirdest pairing for them: I ship Arison Monaria and which are def out of the norm ships… also Aria/Jenna even more so

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Aria/Jenna

#s speaks #asks #tvd #pll #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #spencer hastings #aria montgomery #ty!#sergeantpixie #mutuals

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dimdiamond · 1 year

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Since you're answering some questions I wanted to ask what do you think about chang? befor I got to shipping stuff I didn't even know there were many people shipping tintin with him lol and I was kinda surprised,you know since he appeared first in one of the most iconic and most famous tintin stories ever I mean the blue lotus he had got himself pretty much many fans and the fact that he was the first ever person tintin made friends with either,I think they're really cute together lmao do you like him or not?And thanks

OMG A CHANG QUESTION

Ok, honestly speaking, when I first got into fandom I was surprised by the amount of fans this specific character had because, as you said, he appeared only one and a half times. And then I fell into his trap too and now I'm a fan of him.

I love Chang a lot and I think he has so much potential for many arcs and stories and things to explore with him! Like first of all he was an orphan already and then found his new instant bestie and then a new family but had to say goodbye to said bestie?! His first question when he's saved from drowning was "Cool but why bother?" and then proceeded to make fun of white people's prejudices?! He laughed and made Thompsons, two cops, a fool of themselves saying that "They deserved it anyway"?! He helped Tintin and jumped on the danger because he felt like it?! Someone thought it was a good idea to give this kid a gun and he made a perfect shot at Didi's sword?! And then the next time we hear of him is because he's considered dead but haha kidding, he's the only survivor and has telepathic powers but only to Tintin and got a new pet/bestie/dad at the fucking Yeti?! LIKE WHO ELSE DOES IT LIKE HIM?! WHO ELSE HAS THIS POTENTIAL FOR ABSURDITY AND ANGST AND LOVE AND ALL THE FEELINGS?!

I need more content of him and his life before and after meeting Tintin, his new family, his everyday life, his worries and his dreams, his feelings, his crushes, his interests! How does he feel for Tintin and how did he deal with his goodbye to him? How is his relationship with his family? How is he dealing with his trauma from both Blue Lotus and Tibet stories? What is he doing in London and what about his life from now on? All these things you can do with him and imagine him in different scenarios! Of course he has so many fans! He is the blorbo ever!

Yeah, I agree that his ship with Tintin is cute and I have no issue with that of course, I am just not a big fan. For me Tintin and Chang have such an interesting dynamic as they're the same but they're not, they're close but they're not. They're each other's best friend, but are they and what does friendship mean to them? No one knows Tintin better than Chang and vice versa, but do they really? They would kill and die for each other but would they live together? As I see them they have such a strong but complex bond and I totally can see the romantic potential here but for me the platonic potential is more interesting. They love each other and their bond is so unique that no one understands it better than themselves. And of course you don't want them as your enemies.

If I ever see the romantic interest between them I do it as one sided unrequited love because I love the angst and seeing them in the end working things out between them.

#thank you for this ask!#i love chang so much and i love to talk about him #if you're interested in more of my thoughts on him feel free to ask #oh and i repeat if you ship tintin and chang you're more than valid and i have no issues at all of course #god this character has everything #chang haunts my thoughts i am telling you #chang #chang chong chen #tchang #tintin #the adventures of tintin

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spicysix · 1 year

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jargyle and stonathan for ship ask!! actually also rockie 💕💕

I dunno if you're asking for the "I'll ramble about them" game or the bingo game LDJSKDK but I've done stonathan and rockie for the ramble game here so I'll do the bingo! and I'll put it under a cut cause I'll do some talking about each and the post will be LONG ksjfksnfkw

jargyle:

literally my loves. everything to me. the unhealthy in their relationship is actually ME because i am Not Normal about them. I wanna cradle them in my hands. put them in my pocket. watch a 24h Livestream of them together every day for the rest of of our lives. argyle helping jon let loose and relax and have a good time and not worry about everyone else but himself for once? being there for him, to listen to him, to give him advice?? being the friend he's always needed and never had??? I WANNA DIE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

stonathan:

I know I know the "they're exes" and the "been married for 30 years" at the same time don't make a lot of sense but. to me. it does. they dated. broke up. and got back together and got married!! :) also they have a lot of potential to be unhealthy in so many ways, good and bad, so I also crossed both kskdkrjkw I forgot it and only saw it now but consider "canon did them wrong" crossed too!!!

rockie:

for the pinkier (?) pink, "I used to like them a lot more" refers to: before I jumped into the buckingham pit and have never been able to recover. buckingham is my fave, but I still love rockie a lot!!!! also the "they're exes" and the "angst" are potentials for scenarios where Vickie doesn't get involved with the UD shit and Robin doesn't tell her or does tell her but Vickie's not able to fully understand what Robin's been through because she hasn't gone through the same stuff, and they're just not able to make it through together. I read a great ficlet like that the other day that completely ruined me and I LOVED it. also forgot to cross it (wtf is wrong with me), but "part of a bigger polycule" is amazing bc can you imagine them + Nance + Chrissy??? they're everything to me, the other 3 would be so feral about protecting Vickie that girl would be so spoiled (as she should) I love them dearly

#lui answers #read 💙#jargyle #stonathan #rockie

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luckyspacerabbit · 2 years

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imagine if we got thane in the first game as a companion and romanceable. also imagine kai leng in me2 as a romanceable companion, that sweet enemies to lovers. the kai leng stuff in me3 would be more interesting too if shep had some history with him hehe

I love that you come in here and specifically throw embers on my ever-burning passion for my faves like ok. So much to talk about and cover.

1.First Game Thane

I'm always putzing around this thought because I love a "they've met before" romance so that's what I've written for Dan Hyun + Thane, but like, honestly, though only a few years lesser, I feel like he would have been a lot harder of a person. Maybe not harder, but a bit deeper into the personal angst of his life. I personally feel like the attack on the Citadel was a bit of an eye opener for galactic players, and I like to imagine, what if this shifted Thane's attention to a wider point of view and spurred him to actually start considering more about what he should do with his life?

A first game companion Thane would have been so nice because it would have given us the time to really get to know him and let him share his backstory instead of speed running everything that happened and jumping straight to making out in me2. And I think it would have capitalized on this super romantic pining that Thane has with Shepard in ME2 by extending it into ME1 and letting it express and peak at a natural point in ME2 T_T So unromancable in 1, maybe watching Shepard inspires him bit by bit and opens him a little more, and in between ME1 and ME2 he's still a bit stuck in what he thinks he can do (take from the world) but ME2 gives him an opportunity to think differently... Yeah it's really up to personal interpretation but I think he's perfect for a long, pining, slow burn <3

2.Kai Leng Companion ME2

OKAY I have that Shepard as a companion template I made and I REALLY wanted to make one for Kai I'm just tacking away at my Dan Hyun Dossier first to #iron out the details of my canon.

My base thoughts are this: After Rasa betrayed TIM by making off with the clone, TIM has concerns about Kai's potential loyalty to the cause. Because they were both partners, she could have planted some doubts in his head.

TIM decides to give Kai what he wants: the feeling that he's going to be humanity's challenger to the reapers; by assigning him to Project Lazarus with Miranda and Jacob. He expects that putting him with Shepard will motivate him to commit himself further to Cerberus by giving him a rival, and distracting him from Rasa's fate. He and Jacob share opposite sides of the armory and Jacob frequently is trying to avoid talking to him because he hates arguing with this loser.

His loyalty would be something pivotal to his feelings about Cerberus, getting to the root of why he joined and his past with the Alliance... and if you succeed in getting his loyalty, he'd try to join up with Shepard post Citadel II coup (after maybe NOT murdering Thane just injuring him in a loyalty earned scenario?) . Then Shepard could reject or accept his help.

Idk who you'd fight in the final battle before Earth though! Something I need to think about. I always hoped you could just kill TIM there and then maybe have some other conflict at the Crucible but that needs to simmer more in my brain.

I don't even need to talk about the enemies to lovers potential of this right? Do I ? the fact that they're again foils, both used by pro human organizations as weapons and shaped up to be martyrs for causes that exist beyond them? The way they are literally engineered to be super humans by cerberus? Kai's contempt stemming from this maybe helping Shepard realize the doomed fates they've both been regultated to? Sometimes it takes seeing someone in a worse place than us to show us the truth of where we stand O_O ...

3.Shepard Shared History with Kai

FOR REAL. My background is too specific for me to want to call it canon BUT. I think Kai should've shared a combat tour with Shepard. Honestly that's pretty much all it could've taken! You too can have your Shepard have a rich and interesting story with Kai Leng!

One combat tour where something went sourly wrong (you decide what <3) and their paths split. Soon after, Shepard was on the Normandy, and Kai, with Cerberus. It literally would've made everything about him make more sense. I suppose the codex of his service record implies that he was always following after Shepard in some ways but like. No one's gonna read into that unless you're a speculative fan like me!

Anyway, tl;dr, YES YES YES YES YES (cries in neglected character hell)

#asks #anon #kai leng #thane krios #me when i take advantage of innocent anons

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justformyself2 · 2 years

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It all came down to her. (18+)

Hey you guys. Hello especially to the anon that especifically asked for this story, like, a thousand years ago lol. I'm sorry for the delay and i hope you all enjoy this story that i rewrited a thousand times.

BEFORE YOU JUMP IN:

. Jack Ryan x Reader

. Angst, graphic sex, some fluff.

. tired/weird writing.

. but made with love.

1.364 words.

(Y/N) POV The waiter serves the coffee and walks away after smiling at you; a bell rings, and it's Greer coming through the door. Your impulse is to grab the mug taking a sip at the hot drink as if that was enough to give the impression of being casual, but it wasn't. You didn't know Greer that well. He randomly would appear at Jack's door; his calls would be a sign that your boyfriend had to leave suddenly. He wasn't a chatty man, and that for the first time bothered you. All the pieces of information you had about him were fragmented because he belonged to the fragmented side of Jack's life you tried to poke through.

"Thanks for meeting me here (Y/N)." He says, approaching the table and taking a sit. He signs at the waiter.

Jack's POV "There has to be another way." Greer reclines on the brown leather chair, avoiding meeting my eyes, something that deeply concerns me. "I'm telling you, as long as the operation is in process, both of you, but mostly her, are in danger. I can offer her protection. I don't know for how long, but you must make a decision soon. Santiago is on the move to South America. I need you to be there." I get up from the chair, trying to expel the energy running through my body. I go towards the open bay window as if the air filling the room wasn't enough to fill my desperate lungs. "I'm not telling you something you didn't know already, Jack. He will use everything he had against us, not only you but any of us." "It doesn't matter; nothing will matter. Santiago will go after her even if I don't accept the offer." "What are you talking about, Ryan? You can't back out now!" "We talked about this, Greer." He gets up from the chair, walking towards me like a mad man. "This is not an OFFER, Ryan. It will affect millions of lives if we don't do something about it NOW. It is a duty, our duty." "This is somebody's duty Greer, is way above my paygrade, and you know it." "Jack-" "I'M NOT leaving her." My throat burns, and my hands, closed fists, are hidden inside the pockets of my trousers. Greer doesn't blink or move an inch away; he stares at me as if I just entered the room unannounced, surprised for a couple of seconds. "Then I assume it will be easy for you to live on if something happens to her. Did you at least let the poor girl know about that? It is her life on the line too." He examines me like he is used to while we are in the field. He never really leaves the character, like everything is a bottom line all or nothing, everyone is a potential weapon to be used, every word and thought, but above everything, I knew he was right. Avoiding prolonging the exchange, I exit the room without giving him a proper answer.

(Y/N) POV It was past midnight and you were worried although he told you he would come late. Greer's speech was sprinkled in your thoughts like salt in an open wound, making you twist and turn on the bed, trying to resist the impulse of leaving it and going after him, but somehow the idea seemed worse. You didn't want to act desperate. There was nothing indicating something out of the ordinary. He was just late. A chill in your stomach took place while your brain worked its torture scenarios. Jack would do anything to protect you. It was something he said to you multiple times, and you believe it with all of your heart and soul at any time or day you were ready to do the same, but when Greer said he wanted to quit his career, everything he believed to fulfill his word and keep you safe something snapped inside of you. You didn't want to be the reason he would give up anything. Minutes after, you hear the sound of the door closing, and footsteps, his footsteps, calming the beats of your heart coming closer to the bed. The sound of his zipper and the bump his shoes made when hitting the carpet enticed your ears and closed your mouth. All the sounds he makes, the smell of his body, the heat irradiating from it when you felt his weight moving on the bed coming closer to you, all of him was something you couldn't imagine yourself living without it. He breaths out on your neck, wrapping his arm around you. You couldn't take it. "Jack." You almost whispered. His lips meet your skin, and he starts kissing all the length of your neck to your shoulder. "Jack." You called again. "I know. Let's just not talk about it tonight; leave it for tomorrow. Can we do that? Please, let us have tonight." You consent silently as he pulls your body closer to his.

Jack's POV.

I pull her body closer, feeling her warmth, wanting all of her. All she could give I wanted, and all I could give I would give it to her tonight. She turns her body towards mine, and there is no time wasted. She meets me halfway, taking my lips, melting into my arms. I wanted time to stop completely, freeze and rewind, only to be played back to the exact minute when I first met her at that party, and she smiled at me from the other side of the room, as if she knew. Exactly when I started living and not waiting for another day to pass me by. "I love you, Jack." She says it after we broke apart, gasping for air. "I love you too, always." "Then make love to me." I attack her lips once again, bringing her under my body as I lift myself to be over hers with care. Her hands lift the shirt I left on rapidly, and I help her in the process. "Turn up the lampshade. I want to see you." She asks, and I comply, inclining my body to reach the bedside. "Better?" I ask when the room was partially lightened, giving me the view of the most gorgeous eyes. "Yes, much better." Her hands pull me by the waist, and in no time we are tangled in each other, barely giving rest to catch a breath. I almost rip the white satin babydoll she wore, desperate to have her in my mouth, driven by her moans and pleads. "God, Jack. I need you right now." Her hands reach my erection, electrifying my body, blurring my vision with the purest mix of love and lust, with which I was highly drunk off. She removes her underwear, releasing and guiding me towards her entrance. "Christ." I let it escape from my lips from her, trying as hard I could to keep my eyes open towards her so I could witness the first wave of pleasure taking over her as well. Her body arches, meeting my pelvis. Her legs wrapped around my waist. I began the movements slowly, watching every inch of her face, every squirm, every reaction of her as my hips moved back and forth against hers. "Open your eyes, baby. I need you to look at me." She does as asked as I intensify the movements. (Y/N) hand's travels my thorax towards the navel, not breaking eye contact even when I grabbed both of her legs, putting them over my shoulders and going deeper inside of her. "Jack." She calls. "I know baby. Do you want to touch yourself for me?" She wastes no time in complying while I mercilessly hit her sweet spot, giving to her just the way she deserved it. Her body responds quickly to the stimulations as well as mine; controlled and over the edge just by visualizing and giving her pleasure, like it was built just for this. "Fuck… Jack.." Her legs started shaking, she was losing control and so did I, feeling the intense wave of pleasure consume me, feeling her consume me because it all came down to her.

Therefore it was impossible to imagine any scenario where we wouldn't be living, being, making love to each other like we are supossed to. Therefore nothing else mattered.

#johnkrasinski #fanfiction #imagine #john krasinskixreader #story #mine #fanfic #john krasinski imagine #john krasinski #jack ryan #jack ryan x reader

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spenciegoob · 3 years

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Swing to the Stars

this fic swap is for @reidgraygubler ... I really hope you like it, shadow :)

A/N: AAAAH! this is my first fic swap and I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

Summary: Spencer meets someone in his little hiding spot, and desperately hopes to see them again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral!Reader

Category: fluff with a dash of angst

Content Warnings: mentions of Maeve & William Reid, talk of a case involving teens, mentions of bullying, mentions of guns and pepper spray (not used)

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

___

The first time I climbed that treacherous hill, dirtying my converse for all to see what my night activities truly consisted of, I was alone. I enjoyed it like that, I came here by myself, and I intended to keep it that way. When I sat on the swing dangling by two dangerously flimsy ropes, I thought how ridiculously large the slap of wood used to make it was. My elbows were bent a little over a 90 degree angle just to reach both sides, but I never thought past it. I had other things on my mind that night.

I thought about my mom. I knew she would have loved a secluded, little space like this. She would’ve probably read to me here, using different voices that held deep emotion to convey each story with a precise amount of dedication and love. Each story to her was special, and I silently thank her every day for passing that trait down to me.

Unfortunately, if I thought about my mom, I thought about my dad. William was never a kind man, and I could pride myself on one thing; I would never be like him. He didn’t deserve to know a place like this. It was too serene, too beautiful to house a man so willing to abandon the two people who should’ve been the most important to him. I was glad he would never get the chance to sit on this swing.

I thought about my family. How Garcia would jump with excitement at the prospect of having a picnic overlooking the city, yet quiet and missing the sounds of cars zooming by or overlapping chatter. I thought about JJ, and how Henry would beg her to push him in the swing, because to a little kid, it was perfect. He didn’t look at the frayed rope and fear that it would snap. I hope he never starts to fear the world like that.

The second time I found myself back at the bottom of the hill, I made it halfway to the top before seeing a couple getting up from the swing they were sitting together on. I realized then why it was so comically large; it was meant for two people. Thankfully when I reached the top only half out of breath, the two were starting their descent to where I came from.

This time when I sat down, I thought about Maeve. I would’ve brought her here, shared the little secret corner of the world I built for myself. She would’ve loved something like this, and I know if life wasn’t so cruel, and I was given the chance to show her, we would’ve talked for hours. So that’s what I did that time; I talked to Maeve. To anyone else, I probably looked like a crazy person talking to himself, but much to my delight, not many people made the trip up the hill to find this place.

Now I go whenever I need a break from my mind, which unfortunately is more times than my schedule allows me to take that leisurely walk. I spend my nights sometimes after a particularly hard case there no matter the time, using the ropes that scratch my hands as my lifeline down to Earth. I watch the stars, screaming and cursing at the world in my head and waiting for the sky to respond. It never did, and the next case always came in the following morning.

This particular time that I found myself at the bottom of the grassy hill waiting to be climbed, the case I just returned from involved kids across the board. A teenage unsub was killing his fellow classmates that have wronged him. Unfortunately, the BAU had to witness his stressor recorded for the whole school to see. It involved vile insults being thrown at the young, defenseless boy only for the bullying to escalate to violence.

It was awful.

As I trudged up the hill with less excitement to look into the vast unknown than usual, I couldn’t stop thinking about the unsub. All he wanted in life was a friend, someone to talk to, laugh with, share memories together. No matter how wrong it was, I saw myself in him. Our souls held the same scars given to us by people who had no right to go digging for such a deep part of ourselves. If I didn’t make it, would I have turned out like him?

When I reached the top, completing my journey once again, I saw them. Sitting there, staring out into the sky, mimicking my thoughts to do the same on the jet ride home. I could only make out half their face lit up by the light casting down from the full moon, but I didn’t need to see more to know they were breathtaking.

I would have turned around to return home to nothing more than books reread thousands of times and stale coffee, but I already made the mistake of stepping on a rather large branch that broke in half. The crunch coming from their right immediately had them on edge, and reaching for their bag that I could only assume had some sort of weapon inside. I hope it was legal.

I felt terrible for breaking them from the trance they were in. They were deep in thought about something that was probably going to become a solution if I hadn't interrupted their musing.

“H-hi, I’m sorry to scare you. I didn’t expect anyone here this late. Not that you being here is a problem! I didn’t mean to disturb you,” I frantically shouted, although there was less distance between us than I originally thought, and probably seemed crazed by my volume level.

They just giggled at first, but upon seeing my distraught expression, their face turned more kind than humorous.

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t jump so fast to pepper spray you. That would definitely be the worst case scenario.” I let out a breath of relief for some reason. Here I was, in front of a total stranger thankful that their weapon of choice wasn’t a gun. I’ve been on the wrong end of too many during my years.

“Did you know Chemical Mace, more commonly known as pepper spray, was invented in the 1960s by a man named Alan Lee Litman and his wife Doris Litman at the time. Their reason was actually because one of Doris’s female coworkers was attacked and robbed, so they thought to create a nonlethal weapon with easy accessibility and use, considering not everyone is able to use a gun. It wasn’t until 1987 however that the Litman’s sold their creation to Smith and Wesson where it was mass produced and later sold to law enforcement.”

“Wow, I don’t think I did.” They laughed again, but something in my heart told me it wasn’t meant to come with malicious intent. “Do you do that a lot?”

“Do what?” I asked, even though I had some inclination of what they were referencing.

“Spout random facts. I’m not complaining, that was very cool, but I am fully intrigued.” They smiled again at me fondly, the kind of smile that left me a little breathless, even more so than the 45 degree incline I had to climb to find myself in front of them. There was nothing to convince me they weren’t authentic in every word they stated.

“I do it quite often, yes. It gets annoying after a while though.” It was true, I was told on many occasions that my rambling got old very fast. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re close to me for too long. I tend to stop being the awe-striking genius, and become the nagging, walking encyclopedia.

“I don’t see how that could become annoying.” It sounded sad coming from them, like I had insulted their oddity. I would never, and I was really hoping to find out what it was.

I had nothing further to say that would express my shock, and slight fondness over their praise, wary of its honesty even if it did come from them. I hadn’t known them for more than 4 minutes and 36 seconds, but it was enough to figure out that they weren’t a liar. It wasn’t from profiling either.

“You know, there is room for two people here if you wanted to join me. I’m sure you didn’t climb that hill for nothing.” They continued for me. If they noticed my surprise, they said nothing about it.

Usually, I would be skeptical of being in a close proximity with a stranger, but as I approached them carefully, even if their hand was no longer reaching for mace, I felt the passing between our eyes. It was as if we had shared every part of ourselves with eye contact, and as crazy as it sounds, I felt the somber thoughts that lingered from their previous reflections.

So I sat down, grabbing onto only one of the scratchy ropes, and enjoying the way I could rest my elbow against my side now that I was using the swing to its fullest potential. I stopped caring about the probability of the ropes snapping under our combined body weight. The worst that could possibly happen was I bruised my tailbone a little bit, but I wouldn’t care past the initial embarrassment. At least I had someone to show that with.

“Do you ever think about what’s out there?” They asked once I was settled on the wood slab as comfortably as I could muster. Being boney didn’t necessarily help. Before I could answer, they continued. “I can tell you’re a man of science, if the fact dump wasn’t any indicator, but I mean beyond the facts, and the known.”

“No, I don’t think about it.” It was a lie, I think about it every time I’m here, but I wanted nothing more in this moment than to know how they saw the stars.

“I do. Quite frequently, actually. I mean, I’ve read every book there ever was about the stars and space, but there is still no answer to my question.”

“What question?” I had to know.

“What’s exactly written in the stars,” they replied, using their hands to showcase the sky above us. I sat back and thought for a while. Like the books they’ve read, I too didn’t have the response to their question. God, how I wish I did.

I don’t know how long we sat there quietly. One of the perks of total darkness in the dead of night is that the moon couldn’t tell time the way the sun did. We got lost in the cosmos together, contemplating sharing our own troubled thoughts with each other. It would have felt right if we did, but alas, the ringing of my cell phone dropped a pin in our reflections.

“I- I’m sorry, I have to take this,” I rushed out before standing up and accepting the incoming call from Penelope. I knew it was a case before her bubbly voice rang through my celular. I allowed the disappointment to bleed through my tone when I told her I would be back at the BAU shortly, hoping that the small release of the emotion would be enough to ward it off in time to turn back around.

It didn’t.

They were already looking at me expectantly when I made my way back to the swing, bending down to retrieve my satchel I had abandoned on the ground. The amount of guilt on my face must have been enough to tell them I had to leave abruptly, despite the fact that the only thing I wanted to do was stay for even just a second.

“That’s okay,” they spoke softly, giving me a tight lipped smile. “We’ll see each other again.”

“How do you know?” I couldn’t help but be skeptical. Life never did work out in my favor. They looked up at the sky once more before answering.

“Just a feeling.” I let a full grin break out at their response, the first one I’ve had when visiting this place. I turned around to start my journey back to the office where dark, and twisted things lurked behind manilla folders. Before starting my descent however, I spun around quickly, almost losing my footing and taking a tumble.

“Woah there tiger, don’t hurt yourself,” they giggled at me, one that I returned with my own breathy laugh.

“I just don’t know your name.” It baffled me a little bit that I hadn’t thought to ask before this, but they just gave me one last smile, tilting their head in faux contemplation.

“Ask me next time.” I will.

***

It’s been a year since I met them, and I haven’t seen them since. Not for a lack of trying however. After that case, I went there every night until a new one arose, this time taking me to Oregon. They hadn’t been back, and part of me wondered if it was because of me. Did I not try hard enough the first time? Should I have ignored my ringer until my phone had 5 missed calls from Penelope?

But then my eidetic memory swooped in to save me from going down that road, one of the only times it wasn’t the cause of my self destructive thoughts. Because while I replayed the conversation over in my head wondering where it went wrong, I remembered their eyes, and their smile.

I remembered what it felt like to sit with them, and thankfully that was enough to convince myself our meeting wasn’t in vain.

I never was the kind of man to believe in the universe. The whole notion that “everything happens for a reason,” felt like a lie created to somehow blame an external force on the chaos in one’s life. There were so many things in my life that had no reason for happening, and to blame that on anything or anyone but myself would be a cheap excuse of a way out.

But for some odd reason, the universe aside, I believed in them, and strangely enough, I don’t think they would have blamed me for the life I had to live. So, as I sit down tonight on this familiar piece of wood, I choose to stare at the stars instead of the ground, and believe that if I spoke aloud, maybe they would hear me.

And they did, because my efforts to sit on one side of the swing in case they returned to me were not in vain. I didn’t look over, I didn’t have to to know it was them. I had already relaxed once their presence was known in my peripherals.

“Y/N,” they spoke, causing me to change my view on the stars to their side profile. It wasn’t all that different than staring at the constellations spread around us. “My name’s Y/N.”

___

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jaminjims · 4 years

Text

「TO PROTECT」

anon request: hi can you do prompt 33, ot7 , bts eight member, female reader, fluff with angst and the scenario is where they had a boys night out so you were left at the dorms with your little brother and sister to babysit them, someone breaks in and you try to hold them off until the guys and cops comes

prompt: “keep your hands over your ears, do you hear me? even when the noises stop. don’t listen.”

pairing: poly bts x female reader

genre: suspense, angst, a little fluff at the end

words: 3.2k

warnings: sasaengs, break in, fighting, weapons (a knife), blood, panic attacks, injuries, hospitalization, copious amounts of crying

~**~

You held your breath as your heart thumped in anticipation. The shadow behind the shower curtain suddenly turned toward you and your eyes widened.

You braced yourself against the cold tile of the shower as the dark blue shower curtain was tugged aside. You gasped and jumped up.

“Found you, Noona!”

You grinned at the excited smiley face of your little brother. Easy laughter made it’s way out of your throat as you stepped out of the bath. You leaned forward and started tickling his stomach as he tried to squirm out of your grip.

He ended up running out of the bathroom to get away, “Youngsoo, what did I say about running indoors?” But soon after you found yourself running after him, laughing.

The both of you ended up back in the living room, where your younger sister sat, doing something on your phone to pass the time. She was the first one to get caught in the game and had been sitting there a while, but when the two of you made your grand entrance she sent a stunning smile up at you.

“Unnie! You’re always too good at this game.” You smiled and landed beside her on the couch, your little brother climbing on your lap.

You loved spending time with your little siblings. Being an idol was demanding and you barely had time to see them, so when the boys decided they wanted to have a night out to themselves, you thought it was a perfect idea to have them over. It also gave your parents a chance to have a night to themselves as well, so it ended up a win for everyone.

Your little brother, Youngsoo, and sister, Mina, were six and nine and there was nothing you loved more in the world than them. Well, your boys were also high up on the list, but what they don’t know won’t kill them.

You laughed at your own thoughts and the two little ones looked up at you, “What’s so funny, Noona?”

You rubbed Youngsoo’s head, “Ahh, just thinking about how much I love you little munchkins.”

“We’re not little!” You sister entervined. “And we’re not munchkins!” Your brother continued. You laughed at their combined one brain cell and felt your phone vibrate from within your hoodie pocket.

‘We’ll be home within the hour, love’ You blushed a little as you typed out a simple ‘Ok’ to Namjoon’s text.

“Ohh, Unnie is typing to her special people. Look at her face!” Mina said to Youngsoo, pointing at you. You smiled endearingly, “How did you know?” They both squealed as Youngsoo wiggled out of your lap.

You chased them around the living room for a couple minutes before you grabbed both of them by their shirts and pulled them back onto the couch. “I think it’s time for you guys to head to bed.” You said, still a little out of breath.

They both awwed and looked up at you with puppy dog eyes, “Aish, don’t give me those! I already let you stay up 30 minutes after your bedtime. Do you want me to get yelled at by Eomma?”

They both shook their head no in sync and you couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped you. “Come on you little rebels.”

You led them back into your room and turned on the light, helping them brush their teeth and change into their pajamas in the connected bathroom. When you finally settled them into bed and were tucking them in, you heard a small crash in the kitchen.

You turned around and went to your bedroom door. ‘Are they home already?’ You were about to call out to them when you noticed a figure clad in in black clothing slowly making their way into the living room.

An unknown black clad figure.

White hot panic rushed through your veins as you put a hand over your mouth to stifle the scream that wanted to come out. You heard movement behind you and whirled around to see Mina looking at you with wide eyes.

She was about to say something before you moved your hand from your mouth to hers, silencing her. You looked over at Youngsoo who had the same bewildered expression on his face and motioned to stay quiet.

You were shaking as you tried to silently pick up Youngsoo from the bed so the rustling of the sheets wouldn’t attract your intruder. At the reminder that there was an unknown potentially hostile individual in the dorm sent another rush of fear, panic, and adrenaline through your system.

That was not a good mix.

You opened your bathroom door and lifted both Mina and Youngsoo into the tub. Mina had tears in her eyes while Youngsoo was already silently crying. Your heart constricted and you almost started crying yourself. There was another set of crashes coming from the living room and you had to stop yourself from going into a panic attack at the sound of Mina and Youngsoo’s whimpers.

You were their big sister and loved them more than anything. It was your job to keep them safe.

To protect.

You took a deep breath and squeezed their hands, forcing them to look into your eyes, “Look at me. Keep your hands over your ears, do you hear me? Even when the noises stop. Don’t listen.” Your voice came out in a shaky whisper, but the look in your eyes was firm. When the two just kept staring at you with their tearful eyes and wobbly chins, you squeezed their hands again.

“Promise me.” You held out both your pinkies in front of their faces. They slowly reached up and intertwined their pinkies with yours. All of you were shaking.

You kissed your intertwined pinkies and then both of their foreheads. You stood up and didn’t turn around until you saw that they covered their ears with their hands like promised.

You took slow and careful steps out of the bathroom and locked the door behind you. You were met with a dark room. ‘Wait, didn’t I leave the light on?’

Your eyes widened in fear and you almost dropped to the floor with how much your legs were shaking. Your only thoughts were that they had come into the room without you noticing and turned off your lights. ‘Did they see Youngsoo and Mina?’

You almost slapped yourself when you realized, oh yeah, you had a phone! You could call the police! You searched for it in your hoodie but when your hands came up empty you panically searched your jean pockets.

You didn’t have your phone. It must have been left on the couch.

Your breathing picked up and you almost started to hyperventilate. You focused on the fact that you had to protect your younger siblings. You were their only line of defense and you would be damned if you didn’t go down swinging.

You gulped and took shaky steps toward your bedroom door. You peaked your head in the hallway but quickly ducked back into the room when you saw the black clad figure walk across the living room.

You heard some more crashing sounds but then everything went quiet. After a few seconds you looked out again and saw nothing but Yoongi’s opened door. His room was a few ahead of yours, on the other side of the hallway. You thanked your younger self for picking the room the furthest down in the hallway when you and the guys first moved in.

Seeing the coast was clear and hoping that the intruder would stay in Yoongi’s room, you silently made your way into the hallway, locking your bedroom door behind you. You slowly made your way to the living room.

You needed to get your phone from the couch. The only problem was that you had to move past Yoongi’s room to get to the living room, and the chance of the intruder seeing you made you almost pass out. You decided that you were going to slam Yoongi’s door shut and lock the intruder in. You took a deep breath and steeled your resolve. You could do this! You had to do this! Some part of you still refused to believe that this was happening.

You ran up and with a yell you slammed the door shut and locked in right after. To your confusion and slight terror, there was no sound. You slowly backed up and were struck with fear when your back hit something other than the wall. Everything was still for a second before you felt a breath by your ear.

“Boo.”

You screamed at the top of your lungs and booked it down the hallway, toward the living room. You saw your phone sitting on the couch and dove to grab it. You fell over the back of the couch and scrambled up to your feet.

The intruder was standing at the intersection where the living room meets the hallway. Their face was covered up by a mask, so you couldn’t really make out anything about the person.

Their eyes, however, held madness and insanity.

They took slow, loud steps toward you and you saw something gleam in their hand.

A knife.

You looked around you and, with the hand not holding your phone, you grabbed the lamp that was sitting on a nearby bookshelf. With no hesitancy at all, you threw the lamp at them. They stumbled back and that was all you needed to run toward the bathroom that was just a few steps toward your right.

You slammed and locked the door behind you as you felt the intruder pounding against it. You scrambled back, almost falling over into the bathtub. Your phone was in a death grip and you wasted no time in opening it and dialing the police.

Your hands were so shaky that you had to retype the three digit code a couple times. When you finally got it right, you put the phone to your ear and bit on the thumbnail of your other hand. The pounding on the door didn’t stop.

“119, how-“

You cut them off before they had a chance to finish, “Please help me,” Your voice came out breathless. “There’s an intruder in my house and they have a knife!”

“Ma’am, please calm down. Tell me your location. Are you alone or hurt?”

You quickly recited the address and told the lady on the other end about Youngsoo and Mina. She dispatched police and an ambulance immediately after you finished the address.

“Come out, come out Y/n!” The voice on the other side of the door yelled. You vaguely filed away that the voice was female.

You choked on a sob as the lady on the phone continued to talk. You couldn’t hear her over the sound of your own heartbeat and the yelling of the intruder. This went on for about 30 more seconds before the pounding suddenly stopped.

“Should I get the two little kiddies sitting in your bathroom instead?”

Your world stopped and you dropped the phone in your hand. White hot panic once again surged through you at the thought of her hurting your siblings. “No!” Your voice came out as a hoarse cry as you slammed the bathroom door open and threw yourself onto the woman.

The impact surprised her and her knife slipped from her hands and skidded on the floor. You clawed at her face, hitting her in any way you could.

The intruder fought back and she eventually threw you off of her. You landed on your wrist painfully but the adrenaline soon took over and you were diving at her again with a cry.

She was ready for you this time and sidestepped your poor attempt. You tripped over your legs and hit your nose on the floor. You instantly tasted blood.

Suddenly the woman was on top of you and you couldn’t move. She put her hands around your neck and you clawed and prayed at them with everything you were worth. You couldn’t breathe and once again a panic attack curled at your conciousness, and before you could stop it, it dug its cold hands into your brain and lungs. You were trying to hyperventilate but couldn’t breathe in and there were dots spreading across your vision.

Suddenly the front door was thrown open and your seven boys along with several police officers ran in. You couldn’t think straight, but you saw someone tackle the intruder that was on top of you to the ground. You grabbed at your throat and greedily sucked in air, but instead of it helping, you only coughed and grabbed at your head, still in panic mode. You felt several pairs of arms wrap around you and multiple voices, but you couldn’t focus on any of them.

Your only thoughts were on Mina and Youngsoo.

You tried pushing away everyone in blind panic to get back to your siblings but the hands only held on tighter and you couldn’t escape. You were yelling at that point and hit someone in the face. You didn’t feel the needle in your neck, but you did notice how your body went lax.

You passed out soon after.

You woke up to the soft beeping of a heart monitor; your senses assaulted by the harsh smell of disinfectant.

The next thing you registered was that there were two hands holding both of yours. They were warm.

You slowly opened your eyes only to shut them tightly once more when the harsh hospital lights hit them. You heard someone whisper something and after a few seconds the lights in the room dimmed.

You felt someone squeeze your left hand and you opened your eyes again to stare into Hoseok’s warm brown ones. There was only a split second of starring before the events of the day before caught up to you.

You started crying and that shortly turned into full on sobbing as you clutched Hobi’s and Jin’s - you realized belatedly that he was the other one holding your hand - hands.

Hoseok looked pained as he looked at you, “Oh baby.” He slowly sat you up and pulled you into a hug. You clutched to him like he was your lifeline. All the pain, fear, and panic rushed out of you with your tears and you already felt exhausted.

Someone was pulling their fingers through your hair as another embraced you from behind. They boys all looked on to the sight with heavy hearts and tears in their own eyes. They couldn’t believe this had happened.

After a few minutes of comforting you, your sobs turned into sniffles and you leaned back against the hospital bed you were on. You were still in the clothes you were in yesterday and after you had calmed down, you were suddenly hit with how much your nose and wrist ached.

“Here, love.” Yoongi held out a glass of water and you gingerly took it in your uninjured hand. “Careful.”

As you nursed your water they had told you about what had happened once they arrived home. How horrified and dumbstruck they were when they saw a random person choking you in the middle of their living room. Jungkook was the one who had tackled the woman while Taehyung was sporting a bruised face.

You almost started sobbing again when they said it was you who bruised Tae’s face in your struggle to get to your siblings, but they quickly shushed you and gave you quiet reassurance that it was ok. They knew you would never do something like that intentionally and you gingerly kissed Tae’s face where the bruise was in apology.

At the thought of your siblings you almost sprung out of bed, but they held you down and told you they were ok. Mina and Youngsoo were found in your bathroom hugging each other as they had their hands over their ears. They were safe with not even a scratch on their bodies. You did good. They were safe.

This time you cried in relief and the boys couldn’t help but cry with you. Jimin was the first one to walk up and hug you, then Jin, Jungkook, and Namjoon joined. Soon you were caught in the middle of a big group hug; everyone was crying.

“We are never, ever letting you out of our sight again.” Jin said into your shoulder.

Jungkook sniffed, “I was so scared, Y/n-ah. I thought you were going to die.”

The pain in his voice made all of your hearts constrict and you wiggled out of the group hug to grab Kookie’s head with your hands. You caressed his checks softly while rubbing at his tears. “Thank you for saving me, Kook-ah.” He cried harder and engulfed you in another hug.

After a few hours of doctors checking on you and giving your statement to the police, you were free to leave and go back to the dorms. The guys refused to let you walk on your own and Namjoon ended up giving you a piggyback ride to the car.

You giggled as he sat you down and buckled you in like you were a kid. “I can take care of myself, Joonie.”

“And?” He made sure your seatbelt was on tight and kissed you on the forehead. He sat next to you as the others filed in.

Your manager announced that you all will be taking a few days off to make sure you healed properly and were taken care of. Idol health came first, and the last thing you wanted to do was worry the fans.

It got out somehow that you were in the hospital and ARMY went berserk trying to figure out what happened. A day after you got home, it was announced on TV that an infamous sasaeng was now in custody and the fans quickly linked that incident with your hospital visit. You took to twitter to announce that you were ok and all you had was a broken nose and sprained wrist. Fans and idol’s alike showed their support and you were overcome with a sense of security from the fandom. You were so grateful that everyone was understanding and there for you.

Even though everything settled down, mundane things became difficult for you. You were all briefed that you would most likely have trauma from the event, but you didn’t really understand that until now.

You constantly had to have one of the boys around you, otherwise you would be overcome with a sense of fear that one of them might be hurt. Jimin and Yoongi were usually the ones to sleep with you, because you were constantly plagued with night terrors otherwise. The first couple days were the worst though; you would wake up in the middle of the night, hyperventilating and on your way to a panic attack, but the two would give you kisses and cuddles and reassure you that everything was ok, no one could hurt you while they were there.

You also had trouble moving around the dorm by yourself, especially at night, so you had someone (usually Jin or Taehyung) with you. You were so thankful and grateful for them and wouldn’t trade them for anything.

These boys were the loves of your life and there was nothing they wouldn’t do for you, and vice-versa. Your lives were hectic and full of ups and downs, but when you had them standing beside you, you knew it would be ok. You were here to love and support each other, and more than anything, you would be here to keep them safe.

To protect.

[end]

end note: my first post of the new year!! i hope everyone enjoyed reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it hehe. i’ve never really written suspense before but hopefully it was good! i think it was pretty good for my first attempt at least. thank you so so much for the request anonie, and i hope you liked it! i hope you all have a great day and year, love you 💖

~**~

masterlist

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206

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glitxhwayventeen · 3 years

Text

A Different Kind Of Love…

Wonwoo: Chapter 2 (All I Ask)

Characters: Wonwoo x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut (it got dirty fast my bad), breeding kinks, creampie, oral sex (female), pet names, dirty talk, biting (but y’all knew that this was a wolf fic so you should’ve been known about that one), angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, cheating (maybe?), violence mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to All I Ask by Adele. The song just has this need to it that I was trying to convey in this chapter. It was just really… necessary.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

Some 🥀, a little ☁️ towards the end, but mainly 💋

A Different Kind Of Love… Master List

Chapter 2: All I Ask

“What- what do you mean you aren’t ready for it?” Wonwoo asked, still so completely stunned at your last remark, he was unsure that you had actually said it.

You had moved to his room as you wanted to head back inside once it had started to rain. He ran his hand through his damp hair in frustration before he looked back to you for an answer.

“I mean, your girlfriend JUST tried to kill me in a fit of jealousy. But I thought SHE was your mate, not me. I’ve- I’ve never even been in a relationship before. How am I supposed to just jump into one with you when yours isn’t even really over yet? Everything’s too… messed up” You explained, sitting down on his bed, brushing out your soaked locks with your fingers.

“I know it’s not really… normal. But we’re wolves. None of what we do is normal…” Wonwoo tried to reason as he resettled his glasses on his face after having cleaned the water droplets off of them.

“No it’s not. But being a wolf doesn’t give me the right to be a home wrecker. How am I supposed to be with you knowing that I’m the reason your relationship is ending?” You questioned, tears starting to brim your vision when you looked down at your hands to distract yourself from your anger at the entire situation you found yourself in, “I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s misery. Even if I never really thought she was a good person, Song deserves better than this. I mean, have you even broke up with her yet?” You managed to whimper out.

“Of course I did!” Wonwoo defended himself, “Or at least, I thought I did. I didn’t necessarily say those exact words, but she knows she fucked up too badly to continue coming back here.” He spoke, seeming to be trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you.

You scoffed in annoyance and crossed your arms over your chest in a huff.

“So you didn’t ACTUALLY end things with her? See this is what the fuck I’m talking about! You ARE just as confused as I KNOW I am. How the hell are we supposed to be with each other? I refuse to just be some sort of mistress to somebody, even if my instincts are telling me otherwise. Whether you’re my mate or not, I can resist them” you declared, looking him dead in the eyes with complete seriousness.

“But I can’t! I’ve been trying. It’s not working! I’m already in love with you. I don’t care what happens with Song. Sure I’ll always care about her because of everything we’ve been through together, but I love YOU. I want YOU.” He responded, getting closer to you on his bed and taking your face in his hands.

Your heart started to race at the minimal contact. His hands were so warm and soft, you could’ve just started to melt into them with ease. Usually you’d have asked for your space, but you felt comfortable with him touching you. In fact, you loved him touching you. It had been SO hard for you to stay away from him during your stay, you truly wondered how you were able to keep from going insane.

“I know you can’t fight it for much longer. I know your heart speeds up when I walk into the room. I know you can’t think when we’re in the same room. I know that you look at me like I’m the only reason you wake up in the morning.” He continued as he started to stroke your cheeks with his thumbs.

“I know you feel the same dizziness I feel whenever you get close to me. I know that me touching you sends lightening through your every vein because that all happens to me whenever I’m with you. I don’t care about anything else anymore. I just want you to be mine already. I NEED you to be mine already.” He said in desperation while biting his lip, still holding your decision torn face between his hands.

He was tired of having to run to the bathroom in the middle of the night to rub one out from sheer thought of knowing you were in the next room behind Song’s back. He NEEDED to actually have you soon or he was worried he’d physically explode. He was about to start his rut and, although he’d NEVER EVER guilt or push you into having sex with him for it, every part of him was begging to touch you to relieve the aches he was beginning to feel. He was hoping if he could calm your anxieties about the situation that you’d want him as much as he’d want you. He already knew he had an affect on your more than you were willing to admit.

A deafening silence started to overtake the both of you. You didn’t want to start anything with him until things were sorted. But God, you wanted the same thing as he did. It made you sooo angry to see him with Song, but you didn’t understand why until now. Now, knowing he was your mate, you realized it was the primal jealousy you held from another woman being that close to him. You had wanted him from the very start, but you always had to hold yourself back out of respect for their pre-existing relationship.

You weren’t really sure where they stood at that moment, but you were starting to not care. Him being so close to you and not actually touching you where you wanted him to made you feel like you were going to catch fire. He smelled like Heaven, and his slight touch made you begin to lose your better judgement. His presence was started to cause a pool of arousal to form in your panties.

He was the first one of you to speak up again, “I know we still have so much to figure out.” Put it out of your head. No matter how much you need him and his plush lips right now.

“And I know that you’re worried about feeling guilt over Song,” Don’t do it. Control yourself!

“But please, if there’s any guilt let it be all on me.” You’re gonna regret it, no matter how phenomenal he smelt. You’re stronger than this. RESIST.

“A- All I Ask is that you at least give us a chance before-” Oh Fuck it, you thought before you quickly interrupted him with a passionate kiss, stopping him from speaking any further.

He was clearly dumbfounded by your sudden actions that had contradicted your previous statements. Even so, he reciprocated immediately anyways, kissing you so roughly that your teeth clashed together. Everything that followed happened in a blur.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it upward. He caught your hint quite fast and all but tore his shirt off, barely even breaking the kiss in the process.

You then locked your hands behind his neck and jerked him as close to you as you possibly could, raising yourself to your knees in the process. He growled lowly before he ripped your shirt from your body, leaving you in just your shorts and bra.

He put his hands on your hips and pushed you down on the bed. He threw his body to hover over yours and feverishly reattached your lips. Your tongues started fighting for dominance, though he inevitably won the battle.

Your wrapped your right leg around him and attempted to use it as leverage to grind against his pelvis, needing some sort of friction to satisfy the growing hunger between your legs. He groaned into the kiss before he pulled himself back.

He gave you a dirty smirk before he grabbed your leg and used it to push you up the bed slightly, giving him better access to your shorts. He slid them and your panties off in one go before he lowered himself down to your heat.

You soon felt his lips attach themselves to your clit, he drew in one harsh suck that drove you crazy. Your hands found their way to his hair and you tugged at the locks, letting out a high pitched whine due to his action. He repeated it a few more times, just to be an tease. He liked watching you squirm because of something he had done. It made him feel powerful, and you looked fucking gorgeous while doing it.

After he was done with his little game, he had his tongue run up and down your slit before he thrust two fingers into your tight entrance, knowing he had to stretch you so he could have you the way he really wanted to. This caused you to take in a breath of air and gasp loudly. It was music to his ears. He didn’t even mind the death grip you had on his hair, it just egged him to keep going.

He started to scissor his fingers before he added a third into you. It was getting harder and harder for you to control your volume, if the others could hear, they’d be deaf by morning. He was making you feel so good, your legs had started shaking. Before you knew it, they locked around his head and your vision went white.

As you came back down to Earth, you started to become sensitive from the orgasm you had just had. Wonwoo was still licking and sucking at your bundle of nerves, the feeling hurting so bad but so good. You let him continue his actions for a bit longer, jerking every now and then from your vulnerability.

Eventually. the overstimulation got the best of you and you started to push away from him, earning a smirk and small chuckle from him. He wiped his mouth off before he stood up and brought his wet fingers to his lips, cleaning your release from them.

Watching you come undone so easily beneath him had his cock begging to be released from it’s restraints. So he quickly rid himself of his jeans and boxers he was wearing. You had propped yourself up on your elbows and licked your lips when you saw his member bounce back to his abs as it was freed. God, he was huge. You absolutely could not wait to have him inside you.

You motioned for him to come back to you, which he did gladly, crawling his way back up the bed. You grabbed him by the hair on the back of his head and crashed your lips back to his again, tasting what remained of your juices on his tongue. The kiss continued as he slowly lowered you to lay back down on your back.

He moved his mouth down to your neck and began to leave small love bites, earning little mewls from you. He had used his left hand to steady himself and used his other to unhook your bra, getting a full view of your chest. He trailed his bites down to the mounds of your breasts before he took one of your nipples in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the bud, flicking the other nipple with his fingers so it wouldn’t be left out.

He unlatched his mouth from your breast with a small ‘pop’ sounds and started kissing you again, grabbing his member in one hand and smearing the beads of precum that had gathered at his slit down his shaft. He began rubbing his tip up and down your opening, partly to tease you and partly to give you time to back out if you wanted. He halted the kiss, earning a small whine from you which caused a proud smile to appear on his face.

“Are you sure about this (Y/N)? We can stop if you want to” he said as he pushed some stray hairs behind your hair with the hand that wasn’t holding his dick.

“Yes I’m sure. Now PLEASE just get inside me before I scream” you joked, sort of anyways, placing a peck on his nose. You thought it was sweet how much he cared about your comfort, but you serious just needed him to plow you like a corn field.

He positioned his tip at your entrance before he stopped one last time to look at you asking for approval, to which you nodding your head gently. You grabbed his biceps, readying yourself for the pain that was about to come.

Wonwoo thought it would be best to get the pain part over with as quickly as possible. So he lifted your chin and kissed you to distract you from your nerves and relax you before he pushed himself fully inside you all in one go.

“Oh fuck!” you all but screamed out, gripping his arms tighter, your nails no doubt having left marks on his soft skin

“Shit.” Wonwoo says through gritted teeth as he tried to control himself.

He wanted to start fucking you into next week already, but he didn’t want to move before you were ready. So he held still, using every bit of strength he had to hold himself back.

A small tear slipped down the side of your cheek as a reaction from the sudden feeling of being so full. He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed your lips.

“I’m sorry princess. Do you want to stop?” He asked eyes full of concern and worry. You gave him a short kiss back.

“No. I’m okay now. Please keep going. I really need you to keep going”

And, ever the eager people pleaser he was, he started to pull out almost completely before he pushed back in to you with a groan.

“Fuck. You’re so fucking tight. I dont know how much you’ll be able to take baby” he half joked to you. He nibbled on the sweet spot under your ear and continued his previous action again and again, making you see stars.

“I- I can take all of it. I’ll take anything you give me. Just please, go fast. I- I need you to go faster.” You whimpered out, attempting to meet his thrusts with your hips.

Your words lit a fire in him he couldn’t explain. The thought of you asking him to give you all he had sent an unexplained excitement through his veins. He didn’t know what it was about them that made it happen. But one thing was for sure, he was gonna give you everything he possibly could and he was gonna make sure you took all of it like a good girl.

He quickly sped up his thrusts to an almost inhumane pace, watching every pretty face you made in the process. You started chanting for him to ‘please go deeper.’ And who was he to deny you something when you were being so polite?

So he grabbed one of your legs that you had wrapped around him and pulled it up to rest on his shoulder.

“Oh God right there! Fuck please don’t stop!” You yelled out, dragging your nails down his back leaving bright red lines, some of which must’ve broken skin.

He smiled to himself as your eyes screwed shut at the pleasure he was giving you, small pleas and thank yous leaving your lips in rhythm with his thrusts.

He lowered his eyes to watch himself disappear into you as he pounded you harder and harder. You had never had sex before today and yet, here you were, taking him like a good little cockslut. Fuck. You were incredible.

“You’re doing so good baby. You look so good on my cock” he groaned out, laying his forehead on your shoulder.

“Come on princess, let everyone know how good I’m making you feel. Let everyone know who owns this pretty little cunt.” He cooed at you when he realized you had started to bite his shoulder in an effort to muffle your noises.

You whine in response, knowing normally you wouldn’t have wanted people to know about something so private, but also starting to lose focus on your priorities as his cock started brushing up against that special spot inside you.

“Oh Fuck Wonwoo! Right there! Fuck do that again!” You moaned out, begging him to repeat what he had just done. He smiled to you smuggly.

“Oh you mean right…” he teased as he fixed his position to touch your sweet spot again before you started to scream out in euphoria, “there?”

“Yes yes yes! Fuck yes! Don’t stop! God please don’t ever stop!” You choked out, starting to lose yourself to the immense pleasure he was giving you.

“Well I’m gonna have to in a minute baby. I’m almost there and I’ll need to pull out” he reminded you while tilting his head backward to try and hold his orgasm off just a little bit longer to get you there again.

“Fuck I- I don’t care! Cum inside me then! Just please don’t stop!” You wail, holding onto Wonwoo for dear life at this point.

Wonwoo’s eyes shot wide open at your words, “Princess I could get you pregnant if I do that. You don’t want that” he spoke while begging any fucking god listening to give him the strength to say no to your request.

“Ye- Yes I do. Fuck please cum in me Wonwoo! Please! I want you to fill me up! I want everyone to know I’m yours!” You sobbed, getting so close to your high tears were now freely falling down your face.

Wonwoo’s eyes went bright red. Fuck. You were gonna be the death of him. “Is that what you want baby? For me to fill you up? To get you nice and pregnant so everyone can see your belly and know you’re mine? So everyone’ll know you’re my little cumslut?” He responded, pounding into you harder and harder as he neared his high.

“Yes please! Fuck please! I want your baby! I want you to fill me up! I wanna be your dirty little cum slut! Make me yours” You screamed as his words sent you closer and closer to your orgasm.

Wonwoo couldn’t help it. You asked him to get you pregnant and every instinct in him told him to do it, he was starting his rut. To hell with the consequences. If anything happened, he’d take care of you and everything would be fine. You were his mate after all. He’d breed you some day anyways, why not today?

His fangs elongated as he drew closer to his own orgasm. He sunk them into the apex between your neck and shoulder, the feeling pushing you over the edge. The pleasure mixed with the pain drove you to a release so amazing, you never even thought it possible. And it sent him to his as well. The last thing you remember was feeling his hot cum jet against your walls right as the darkness took over you.

“Well looks like sleeping beauty finally woke up” Wonwoo stated as he kissed your nose. You noticed he didn’t have his shirt on, you did. You didn’t remember putting it on…

“What- what happened…?” You groaned out, still pretty groggy from the activities of the previous night.

“We fucked. You passed out after. You must’ve either been super exhausted or super fucked up from cumming really hard.” He said matter of factly while he rubbed your back.

“I think it was the second one” You pieced together as you tried to sit up, soon realizing that your muscles didn’t want to work.

“Considering you were so out of it you were begging me to knock you up, I’d go with number two too” he joked while massaging your sore thigh.

“I- I did that?” You questioned, shocked that you had gotten that fucked up.

“Well… yeah. Don’t worry. We can get you the day after pill when we go to the market today. Of course… you’ll have to cover this…” he responded while moving your hair behind yout shoulder, pointing out the bite he had left on you.

“You marked me??” Your eyes widened at the thought, had you SERIOUSLY been SO fucked out that you didn’t even remember him biting you? You seriously were so lost in cumming that you didn’t realize he marked you as his?

“Yeah I guess I did…” Wonwoo whispered as he rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry. I hardly even remember doing it. I remember you saying you wanted me to cum inside of you. I remember how that made me have this sudden primal urge to make you mine, then everything went blurry.”

“It- It’s okay. I can’t really be mad if I was literally asking you to… well you know. We both ended up getting pretty fucked out huh?” You joked, a small smile forming as you spoke.

“Yeah. Pretty fucked out is a bit of an understatement. But still, I’m sorry for the unintentional marking and mating. I can’t really do anything about the marking… but we can at least help the mating thing by getting you that weird pill” he shrugged out, already getting ready to put his jeans back on.

“Wait!” You stopped him by grabbing his arm, surprising both him and yourself with the action. He looked back at you with confusion plastered all over his face.

“What? Isn’t taking it as early as possible better?” He questioned, your hand still holding his arm.

“Yeah… but I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m kinda sore. So do we… absolutely have to get it…?” You wondered aloud, trying your best to convey to him what you were trying to say.

“I- uh if you don’t want to get pregnant… kinda?” He stuttered out, now grabbing your petite hand in his large one and placing a little kiss to the center of it’s palm.

“What if- what if I don’t mind it? Getting pregnant I mean. Do we have to go get it…? Unless you want me to take it…?” You trailed on. His eyes widened and his heart rate sped up. Were you saying what he thought you were saying?

“Are you saying- are you saying that you’d actually be okay if I just got you pregnant?” He gulped, hand still encasing yours.

“Well… yeah. Kind of? I mean- we’re already mates right? We already know we’ll be together till the day we die. So I don’t see why it matters if we have a kid now or twenty years from now” you explained cautiously, hoping you didn’t just freak the poor wolf out. He looked back at you, his face completely unreadable.

“If- if you’re okay with it then- Yeah that’s- that’s fine. We don’t have to go get it if you don’t want. We can just stay here and uh… talk?” He let out very questionably, still not completely sure what to say. After everything you had said to him about… well- about everything, he had NEVER expected those words to come out of your mouth.

“Are you… mad? Because we can go get the pill if you-” you started, worried that you had in fact, upset him with your request.

“No- no! I’m not mad. Just… kind of shocked is all. I didn’t think that you’d… be okay with something like that so soon” he defended, holding his hands up in the air as a way to stop you from talking any further.

“Oh. Yeah well… me either really. But I’m not… absolutely hating the idea, ya know? I mean I’m not saying ‘I want a baby right this second so let’s keep going till I get pregnant’ or anything. But I just mean- if it happens, it happens. Why try to fight it if we’re supposed to be together anyways? Unless you hate the idea then I-” You say, slightly losing steam at the end of your sentence, while looking down and biting your lip.

“Hey” Wonwoo said while lifting your chin with his hand, “I dont hate the idea either. I know what you’re saying and… I feel the same way about it” he admitted with a small smile playing on his lips.

“Really? You’re not mad or gonna like freak out?” You quizzed him, still very worried that he was a mess inside and was just hiding it fo your sake.

“Really. I’m not mad and I’m not gonna freak. What you’re saying, it makes sense. I already know I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Hell, I’ve already marked and mated you, so why try and stop it if we’d both be okay with it.” He added taking your hand and kissing it once more, this time with love and adoration in his eyes rather than concern.

“Okay. Good. Now that that’s settled… can we lay back down now before you start your mating season? I’m in a bit of pain and kind of need to get my strength back before I have to deal with you for a whole week” you declared, earning a small laugh from Wonwoo.

“Yeah baby. We can lay back down. Come on” he chuckled out as he quickly moved under the sheets to lay beside you.

“Better?” He asked, playing with your hair as you laid on his chest.

“Better.” You answered before you snuggled further into him.

You knew that you trusted Wonwoo and that you loved and cared for him more than you did yourself. You may not have planned how today went, but you sure as hell weren’t complaining. No matter what hardships decided to come your way…

Another Author’s Note: Ahhh. This was a fun chapter. Wonwoo’s next chapter is where it’ll really start to hit home. I’m not that good at writing smut but honestly, something about this boy makes me always wanna just smash my lips to his and fuck him. Don’t know why. Don’t know if I’m the only one. Either way, I promised smut for his chapter and I delivered as best as I could.

(Updated 9/6)

#seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt au #seventeen x reader #svt wonwoo #wonwoo #svt wonu #seventeen wonu #wonu x reader

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daisyachain · 3 years

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hi!! i've been reading through your ao no flag liveblogs lately and they're really interesting! i enjoy seeing someone so passionate about this manga and it makes me want to reread it .... i'm really interested in hearing what you have to say about masumi's ending though!! part of me thinks it makes sense but i'm mostly conflicted on it and would love to see it from your perspective ^^

haha well thank you! ah yes, the arc that created as much controversy as you can get in an active readership of like 10 people...

Blue Flag is an imperfect story, but it also gets a lot of flack for things that a) didn't...actually...happen, b) didn't happen in the way people think they did.

Part 1: Is it actually straightwashing?

The most common criticism I see of Masumi's ending is that she was written as a lesbian character and straightwashed at the end. Marrying off a female character as a way to 'fix' her issues is a common and harmful trope, and saying that lesbian women just need to get a man is a widespread homophobic trope and talking point. So, it's not a good look. To have a character angst over interest in a woman and end up happily married to a guy reads like a '50s pulp novel that just uses f/f attraction for marketing.

But, if the intention of the ending was to show that Masumi should give up on women and force herself to date men, then it doesn't. Mitsuyuki's description of her is 'look at my bisexual wife who has dated both women and men and could also have married a woman', which is an odd choice if the intention was straightwashing. It feels more like a clumsy way to make sure that, in a series full of ambiguity, there could be no argument that Masumi was queer. That isn't to say that cisstraight people don't view bisexuality as less/better than/straighter than her being lesbian and that making a previously gay character bisexual isn't still straightwashing (increasing the appearance of straightness).

Part 2: Was it actually a retcon?

So: Masumi's ending reaffirms that she's a WLW. One question is, was she always meant to be bisexual, or was she originally written as lesbian?

Blue Flag doesn't have a lot of straight (no pun intended) answers. Taichi never expresses any explicit attraction to guys, but there is enough subtext to suggest he's attracted to Touma well before the finale. Futaba believes she is attracted to Touma at first and is shown to be attracted to him using the visual shorthand of manga (blushing, etc.), but she later says that it was just misinterpreted admiration. Mami doesn't want to date Touma or any man, but she implies that she is attracted to Touma when she says around him she was 'glad to be a woman.' Within the main romance, Futaba says that it was specifically because Taichi was a friend to her that she grew to like-like him. The lines between friendship and romance are blurred in Blue Flag, and sometimes romance can only grow out of friendship.

Masumi has a tense conversation with Taichi in the first half after she breaks up with her boyfriend that most people (me included) read as her saying that she tried guys and she just isn't and can't be attracted to them. However, it's Blue Flag, so the conversation is unfocused and doesn't paint a complete picture.

"Even if I get a boyfriend, I can never make it work"/"I don't know why [I don't like him anymore]" seem to imply that Masumi realized that she was feeling compulsory heterosexuality and that she will never like men. "[I don't know] why he like someone like me"/"You can be friends with potential sexual partners? With both guys and girls?"/"I just wanted to hear how you men feel about [a girl liking other girls]" seem to imply that Masumi is bisexual and is afraid to date because someone might find out. Maybe she's written as questioning--she knows she likes Futaba, but she's feeling out other possibilities. It's Blue Flag, so it's unclear.

Part 3: How does it work with Masumi's arc?

Diving further into Masumi's story, she acts as a foil to Touma (and Futaba, see later). Touma feels free to show his affection for Taichi as a friend as well as a love interest and almost confesses to him of his own free will, well before he's forced to. Touma tells her that he intends to try and set Taichi up with Futaba (because they would be good for each other), and also that he intends to pursue Taichi in some way. He tells her he's "not like [her]."

For Masumi's part, she tells Touma that she wants to express more affection for Futaba--not necessarily in a romantic way, just to participate more fully in that relationship--but she's afraid to, she doesn't feel confident enough to try, and that she's "the worst" because of it. We see this theme repeated, that Masumi is pessimistic, is afraid to trust people and hates herself for being afraid. Her conversations with Aki and Mami explore this; Aki tells her that it's not bad to be insecure or unready and that it's fine to keep a secret/stay closeted until she's ready, Mami tells her that she does have people she can trust, who care about her and who will do their best to understand her and help out. Why am I typing all this out? Because Masumi is a bitter, insecure wlw and that is an Established Trope, but her twist on it is that her negativity or bitterness isn't over her attraction to women/to Futaba or even over the reaction she might get from others (as Touma's is), it's over her own insecurity. Like Futaba, she's hesitant to act on her feelings, and like Futaba, she gets frustrated and hates herself for her own inaction.

All that is to say--Masumi is never shown to have a problem with her attraction to women. Her angst isn't gayngst, she's not ashamed of her feelings for Futaba bur rather her inability to express them. Her problems are with social attitudes and more with her own personal feelings--she and Touma face similar problems, but Touma is simply aware of the consequences (being roughed up and ostracised by a certain group of people) while Masumi feels a more generalized and ambiguous fear.

If Masumi were shown to have mixed feelings about her queerness/were shown to be in denial/were shown to be trying to move on from Futaba, then her ending would read more as straightwashing. As it is, there's nothing in her character and arc to say that she'd ever want to erase that part of herself or get rid of it, rather, she wishes she could embrace it but she just doesn't feel confident in doing it. Her ending shows her as an openly bisexual woman who is out to her friends and husband at the very least, which is a completion of her arc in the manga (of learning to trust other people and express her feelings honestly).

Part 4: What context clues does the rest of the series give us?

This is branching off a little from the strict text of Parts 1-3. As I've said, as we know, Blue Flag is 50% subtext and interpretation. Characters speak, but they don't say what they mean, characters think, but they're not always honest with themselves or in tune with reality. Mami is an ominous and antagonistic figure in the first half, but then it just turns out that Taichi was jumping to conclusions. Taichi is the main character and narrator, but we get radio silence from him for like 7 chapters after the climax. Taichi is bisexual, but the reader has to guess that from the way the art style shifts between PoVs, the similar panelling between Futaba and Touma's confessions, the things he does and does not think about Touma and how he feels about them. It's safe to say that there is room for speculation.

First, there is no explicit evidence that Taichi could be bisexual before ch 54. It's easy to tell that he is, but again, there's nothing specific. Some people reading Blue Flag have said that him marrying Touma was out of character, unforeshadowed, bizarre, inexplicable, etc. because their experienced is coloured by their own heterosexuality. Masumi is shown to have dated a guy and in saying she didn't like him "anymore," implied that she did like him. Her conflicted feelings over her bf could well have been foreshadowing her liking men as well, and my reading that as comphet could have just been my own experience colouring the text. Who knows! Taichi's bisexuality was intentional from the start but could be read as a last-minute twist, so why not Masumi's?

Second, Mitsuyuki is Futaba 2.0. Same colouring, same personality. This could feel like a way of saying "Masumi just needs to like guys instead," but to me it reads deeper with some of the trans subtext around Futaba. One of my issues with Blue Flag is that it doesn't go further into Futaba's admiration/envy for masculinity and her uncomfortable relationship with femininity. As a cis woman who wants to be buff and mildly masculine, I can understand why she's a cis girl throughout and I don't necessarily think that she was supposed to be a trans guy. However, her relationship with masculinity draws a parallel to Mitsuyuki. Reading Mitsuyuki as a cis man, he is the combination of Futaba's personality and looks with her 'ideal form.' So, Masumi marrying Mitsuyuki can read as Masumi marring Ascended FutabaTM.

Third, Futaba having a faceless prop husband is interesting in the context of Mitsuyuki getting a name and personality. Mitsuyuki = Futaba and Mr. Kuze is a blank space, so the reader is prompted to reduce the scenario and slot Masumi into that blank space. Given Masumi and Touma's history as foils, I'm inclined to think that Mitsuyuki exists to show the road not taken. Back at the fireworks, Touma tells Masumi that he hasn't given up on Taichi, and Masumi says she doesn't intend to pursue Futaba even though the pining is making her miserable. Given that Futaba reacts a lot better to the idea of Masumi liking her than Taichi reacts to the idea of Touma liking him, given that we see Masumi has successfully wooed male!Futaba, I think that Masumi's ending shows that she could have ended up with Futaba if she chose to pursue her. She didn't and she still got a happy ending where she is confident in her sexuality and unafraid to trust, but she could have also had a happy ending where she married Futaba. Mitsuyuki is a man because desire-for-masculinity is a key aspect of Futaba's character, and Mitsuyuki is a named character with a personality because KAITO wanted the reader to know that Masumi could have ended up with Futaba (as Touma ended up with Taichi).

Fourth, KAITO's notes on volume give us a few hints. He comments that there was remarkably little interference with his story and that he was able to tell it as he wanted, and that the ending was meant to be a "question" to the reader. The way I see it, Masumi's ending wasn't meant to say "maybe you'll be fixed if you get a man" but rather was meant to complement Taichi's ending and say "things happen in ways you might not expect, but that doesn't mean they're bad."

Fifth, Touma/Taichi ending up together shows us that the series is willing and able to show queerness as a good thing and a happy ending, so it's unlikely that Masumi was meant to come off as "actually she just needed a man" and more as "life can be unpredictable but you can always find happiness"

Summary

It's unclear whether Masumi was written as a bisexual woman or a lesbian woman or a questioning wlw

I personally read her as a lesbian and I wish that part of her character had gotten more exploration

Masumi's ending wraps up her arc (struggling to trust other people with her feelings in general and her queerness in particular) in a satisfying and logical way

Masumi being bisexual does not in any way negate or lessen her identity and experienes as a wlw, bisexual people still face external and internalized homophobia and all the associated issues

Masumi's bisexuality may well have been foreshadowed, but the execution makes it easier to read her as a lesbian, which makes her ending seem like a homophobic cop-out in the style of the Hays Code

Masumi's ending doesn't straightwash her and goes to unusual lengths to affirm her attraction to women

Masumi's ending seems to be written to contrast Touma's ending, showing that getting or not getting the love interest depends entirely on whether you choose to pursue them

It's unlikely that authorial intent was to straightwash Masumi

#ao no flag #blue flag #itachi masumi #masumi itachi #kelsey liveblogs ao no flag #that 8 volumes of a manga where nothing happens could be so complicated...

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chasethesun18 · 3 years

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I have to say I'm surprised they let Rick and TC verbalize the romantic potential for Miggy in such concrete terms this soon. (I'm freaking out over the parallel of TC and Rick's sidebar about Magnum's love for Hannah in 1x15, and now the same over his love for Higgy. Bless.) Now that they have, instinct is telling me the REAL angst is about to start. If the writers have any keen sense of pacing, the slowburn is far from over. Either Higgy/Ethan comes back as a solid couple, and then comes the fall, or we'll jump into their decline straightaway. I think the first is more likely. In the spirit of slowburn, my gut tells me to be prepared for Magnum getting another love interest, one that'll last longer than Abby this time, before we push to an official Miggy. I've seen it done on SWAT recently- one half of the central pair enters a relationship, we deal with the highs and lows and pining and jealousy, and then as that relationship ends, the other half of the coveted pair gets a new partner of their own. More pining and jealousy and angst commence until that final moment when tensions are so taut the standstill breaks. My tentative, arbitrarily chosen timeline for Miggy is circa the end of season 5 if the show makes it that far.

Higgy and Ethan spent much of the season in the honeymoon phase, with Miggy suffering the tension this dynamic wrought, until the season's last legs when Higgy reveals her past to her bf. Ethan's been good for stirring the pot between Miggy, all those itchy, uncomfortable feelings they don't know how to put a definitive label to. I think Higgy needed a transition from Richard before she could be ready to embrace her endgame with Magnum, and Ethan's a good one. It's also been great to see her be happy, for her to know she's capable of giving her heart away again. I'm grateful he wasn't the stalker, nor did he die. Our girl's been through enough trauma when it comes to love, thank you very much. With Magnum as the heart and Higgy as the practical, logical head, I think it's always been within the realm of possibility she'll take longer to catch up to what's brewing between her and Magnum. (Not that Magnum is quite there yet, himself. He just has friends and his uncle that are confronting him first about him and Higgy. And understandably, since he's the single one in this scenario. Higgy has a commitment elsewhere.) But I do believe that as obtuse and abrasive as she can be, she's improved. The difference in her dialogue from 3x01 to 3x16 is proof of that. Between gifting him Roberto the Mouse, returning his father's watch, the heart-to-heart she instigated, admitting he's both an important part of her life and her best friend, she's softening. She even admits she's been scared to get close to people, using defensive mechanisms to prevent herself from getting hurt. Progress, the likes of which we haven't seen before. I'm cheering. It's slow-going, but it's going. That's the silver lining to the obstacles in their path.

ok i didnt include your original ask that said you just watched the finale and you had THOUGHTS - girl did you ever hahaha

yes ok so to be totally honest i have not thought about these two in a hot minute. i really wasn't thrilled with the season as a whole, so it's really just slipped my mind and i had to get back in a miggy mindset to really think about this and answer. i totally agree that he's going to get a girlfriend. magnum and higgins journey reminds me a lot of castle and beckett, so they are in fact due for magnum to get a girlfriend. and im totally ok with that? i think i said this in a post after the finale that i was really here for the role reversal and i still feel that way. it's been magnum pouring his heart out and being open (and then being hurt). the finale showed him starting to kind of retreat and be more guarded - just as higgy came out swinging with the best friend comment and initiating a hug. so yeah, higgins will probably come back to hawaii with the knowledge that she's happier with magnum and with lots of thoughts and feelings to sort through...and magnums gonna have a new girl. thats fine though! i wanna see her fight for him the way he's fought for her up until this point.

yes, she is definitely softening and i LOVE it. it just means now its time for the role reversal cause we cant have things looking this good for them lolol

i have always said as long as they didnt move backwards i was happy and while i did feel like at the beginning of the season they took a few steps back, i was ultimately happy with the ending.

thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! <3

#always down to hear yalls thoughts and feeeeelings #asks #magnum pi #miggy #otp-armada

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infiniteetcetera · 4 years

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Just finished rewatching Endgame with my brothers and after much debate I now propose to you all the parings that should have gone to Vormir instead of Clint and Natasha because all that did was take away a fan favorite character and make people hate Clint even more (#clintrights) when there was a chance for this scenario to play our way more interesting/fairly:

Bruce and Natasha:

Their relationship storyline we all know was a massive mistake (thanks Joss Whedon) but this could have been a good conclusion of that, maybe some closure for the two of them, the audience could pretend this was the goal all along. Bruce’s character was done so dirty by Marvel I think killing him off here may have been a mercy (and then Thor does the snap 👀) but if they were set on killing off Natasha I think Bruce wouldn’t be getting the same amount of hate Clint does if we lost Nat here. My own personal spin on this might have involved Bruce taking the jump and winding up fully Hulk or fully Banner (his sacrifice being one half of himself) I think this would give a lot of potential future story arcs for his character and, of course, it’s a scenario where we don’t loose anyone so that’s great.

Steve and Natasha:

This is the one Avengers friendship (or ship, if you see them that way) that we really get to watch develop from coworkers, to friends, to incredibly close and I think this pairing at Vormir would have had the same emotional toll on viewers as Clintasha but with the added element that it’s two fan favorites and no ones rooting for one over the other to take the plunge. There’s also so much potential here to advance both their characters arcs, references to them ‘getting a life’ after the other is gone, Natasha’s “there are worse ways to go” in AOU, Steve watching her die being why he chooses to stay in the past. Ultimately I can’t see them killing off Steve for good mid movie so Nat’s probably the one to go here but I think a former Russian spy sacrificing herself for Captain America and the world is pretty neat and more touching than with Clint because we’ve seen her and Steve grow to love each other across several movies while clintasha starts off that way.

Steve and Tony:

A stony pipe dream? Perhaps, but hear me out. A big arc in the first half of Endgame is Steve and Tony reconciling and what better way to see this happen than them facing the ultimate sacrifice? Not to mention the angst of this, viewers being on the edge of their seats in theatres the moment we find out Iron man and Captain America are going to Vormir. This would have been a super fulfilling moment for these two even if we’re talking complete platonic love here. I see no universe where it’s not Steve who takes the jump since Tony’s got a family to get back to BUT WAIT HEAR ME OUT, I think in this scenario Bruce snaps and it brings back Steve for a jaw dropping moment when he appears along with everyone else from Strange’s portals. This would have made for an amazing Stony reconciliation and Tony sacrificing himself in the end would have been even more emotional because viewers have already seen him survive the life threatening situation.

Overall it’s pretty sad that these characters have been a team for 10-ish years and there’s so few pairs who could have gone and still gotten the stone (aside from these I see only TonyXRhodey and maybe TonyXBruce) but in conclusion, we were robbed.

#avengers #avengers endgame #marvel #wandavision #tfatws #vormir #natasha romanoff #clint barton #bruce banner #steve rogers #tony stark #romanogers #brutasha #stony

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yes-feratu · 3 years

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AHHH sorry I'm answering like this, i got this anon from my main acc but I'm trying to keep nsfw topics seperate from main!!

The tldr is that the angst potential is REALLY GOOD here too.

I'm kinda of two minds bc I'm just gonna come right out and say that I'm not the biggest fan of Matthew, so I don't rly think abt scenarios involving him w my faves too much, esp not in a romantic capacity BUUUUT on the other hand...I also really like it when Alfred gets hurt and jealous...

I've seen the idea played around with in fanart and fics here and there and I will say it is intriguing...perhaps Mattie's sick of Alfred, sick of the war, sick of seeing him be a brat and getting away with murder anyways and especially sick of the fact that he's still so obviously the favorite despite him being such a brat, and so finally when Arthur is so heart broken and sad and desperate for loyalty and companionship thru the revolution, Matthew says fuck it! and he starts trying to become the favorite as a way to sorta say fuck you to Al. Especially since Matthew and Al were very close growing up, Matthew knew how big of a crush Al has always had on Arthur, and so its an even bigger mental fuck you to him when they finally do sleep together.

I like to think Mattie had a crush on Arthur growing up as well, but it wasn't anywhere near Alfred's. Just a small one, but it was there, and idk...Arthur going to him not just for allyship but for comfort during the rev war just feeds directly into Matthew's need to feel like he's actually wanted and desired for once, not just an afterthought that someone got stuck with.

I think it may be a little jucier too bc I hc that Arthur rly didnt start to gain feelings for Al until sometime in the 1800s (and it took him even longer to recognize those feelings for what they truly were), but maybe he felt SOMETHING for Matthew during the rev war. I dont think he had romantic feelings for him, but definitely like...idk. some sort of depression induced lust for Matthew since he was THERE for him in one of his greatest times of emotional need. So idk like, tho short lived, the fact that he felt some kind of desire for Matthew earlier than he did Al is just...spicey....

If these rev war frus and mapletea scenarios happened in the same universe, then whereas I think Arthur finds out about Alfred and Francis relatively soon after the Revolution (abt mid 1800s), I think Matthew and Arthur are EXTREMELY tight lipped about it, so Al doesn't find out until the 20th-21st century, if he ever does at all. Since you asked about him finding out thoooo....

I think Al gets INSANELY jealous and it nearly ends up in a physical fight. I mean...cmon, do you blame him? His brother, his own fucking brother whos known for forever that Alfred's carried a torch for Arthur, fucking slept with him all those centuries ago?? and never told him???? It kills him. kills him dead. He stops talking to Mattie for awhile, and to make it angstier, if he and Arthur are dating at this point he also gets really moody with him and isolates himself from him because HOW COULD HE SLEEP WITH HIS BROTHER DURING THE REVOLUTION AND NOT TELL HIM??

Arthur feels both extremely guilty and extremely indignant because yes, he slept with Alfred's brother a long ass time ago when he was a wreck but also, Alfred slept with FRANCIS his literal WORST ENEMY at the time and never told him either, so in his mind the pot cant call the kettle black. Especially because on both Alfred's and Francis' part, they did it out of spite towards Arthur, and while Matthew also slept with Arthur out of spite (towards Al) I think Arthur was genuinely just lonely and a wreck and Going Thru It™️, so like...idk his motives weren't necessarily to be a bastard like Alfred's own motives were, so he feels absolved of a little guilt bc of that.

I think Francis ends up having to be the mediator between everyone. I like thinking of Alfred and Francis broship and I like the idea of Francis being one person who can cut through a lot of Al's bs and give things to him straight and have genuine conversations w him. So I think Francis is like. Hey. Dont you think you overrected? I mean...its not like you didnt revenge fuck me when you were all angsty and high off the revolution.

Finally he gets through to Al, and idk maybe he doesnt formally apologize to Mattie for yelling at him and trying to knock his shit out but he just shows up to his place after months of ignoring him and is like "i got a new game we can play it together if you want its not like i care", and idk...Im thinking maybe he and Arthur were on a break and with Arthur he actually DOES formally apologize to him and its a jumping off point for him to be like "look im still ticked off you didnt tell me but its unfair of me to have reacted that way so lets just take this as a chance to have better communication"

#WHOOOOO THIS WAS LONG OMFG IM SO SORRY #i didnt think i even had much to say on this but 😳 blink blinm #not safe for worms

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