#the amount of times i used the word amazing nice fun funny

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Red Knight in Shining Armour (2)

Red Hood x Reader

wc: 6.1 K summary: You ask Red Hood for help from a creep and he does so. However, a funny coincidence happens; part one warnings: language, standard Gotham violence, kidnapping a/n: I originally wanted to split this into two parts, but then got lazy and just decided to keep it at that. (I also got a bit carried away)... Have fun!

You slept safely in your bed with the thoughts of Red Hood always protecting you. It may seem delusional, but you couldn‘t care less. Not everyone gets to be saved by a vigilante on a random tuesday night. And he personally drove you back home, it really makes you wonder if he does that with every civilian that needs help. Surely, he does or else it would have been all over the news by now, right?

So, going to work the next day was rather exciting. Your best friend and coworker, Evelyn, will most likely be more excited than you when she gets an earful about it. And as soon as you enter the backdoor, you start rambling off to her and she is indeed more ecstatic than you. You both start to fangirl, mostly repeating the whole situation to her as she squeals and jumps lightly on her feet, listening to your every word.

Of course that moment of excitment didn‘t last long as you had to take care of costumers, but you already told the story four times by now and every time with more details.

You really hope Red Hood will come by later for a sweet treat, having promised him that after all. However, the bakery remains to fill the regulars and other random people, the day growing more frustrating even though the usual people come in and it stays rather full.

An elder man notices you sigh out while leaning against the counter with your elbows, the man being one of the regulars.

»What‘s wrong, dear? You have been sighing all day, is there something wrong with the orders?«

There is nothing wrong with the orders at all, you just feel very sluggish now that you don‘t see your favourite red guy anymore. Since when he became your favourite? Since the moment he wrapped his arm around your shoulders… you could still feel the distinct weight of his arm, how he radiated an oddly amount of warmth against you, and how he kept you at distance from the creep. Since the moment he squeezed your shoulder in comfort.

You truly became insane over him. Just a little.

The elderly man waits for your answer, eventually receiving a simple shake of your head. There could be nothing you could say to him that he would belive you.

»Just a slow day, that‘s all. Nothing you need to worry about, sir.«

He huffs out lightly, finally getting off his chair and walks up to the counter.

»It‘s ‚Charles‘ for you. You‘ll get an extra tip today for being so pouty. Your baked stuff is amazing, don‘t beat yourself up about it.«

He lays the money for his order and a ten dollar extra bill on top of it, making you rethink of acting pouty every day now.

»Thanks, si- Charles. Have a nice day.«

You smile gratefully at him and take the money into the register, seeing him smiling back at your brighter face before he exits the shop.

----

Unfortunately for you, Red Hood didn‘t come along in the following days and your bus didn‘t drive away from you anymore. It could be really useful now, but it seems like the bus driver really despises you. Obviously it‘s good you don‘t need to walk home anymore and can safely drive by the bus, but you also miss getting saved.

A week went by after the miracolous saving, and you‘re still hanging on by the last thread of hope that he will eventually come by. But no, no signs of him all around and it‘s closing shift anyway. Your best friend left a while ago and you are always in charge of closing the bakery, doing the same tonight as every other night.

A big crash startles you, making you jump out of your skin, and before you can realise what‘s happening, you can only make out two large people fighting violently on the floor of the bakery. You quickly run into the kitchen to hide, feeling the sudden rush of adrenaline come over you and how unsteady your breathing becomes. You cower in a far corner, holding a big kitchen knife in hand and trembling in your curled up position.

You can hear loud thuds and some sickening cracks of something getting broken, them most likely moving around as you hear glass shatters move around the wooden floor. At every grunt and scream you flinch, flinching even harder once you hear a gun go off. Wait, someone‘s shooting? In your bakery? Your heartbeat quickens even more to the point of a near damn heart attack state, but you can‘t seem to move out of your spot. After some more triggers being put off, the fight seems to come to an end. But it seems the silence is even more terrifying.

After what seemed like hours, some police siren‘s went off and are on their way to your location. With uncertain and shaky steps, you dare to peek outside of the kitchen door and try to make out what happened. Looking though the kitchen counter seems to be difficult, and you hesitantly make your way to the counter to examine the scene some more.

Watching, you notice a big brooding shadow with white slits stand at the entrance… or what used to be an entrance, before someone decided to have a fight in your bakery. The speculations didn‘t last long as you notice another brooding figure in the very dimly lit room. You quickly recognize it as no other than Red Hood, the same man that saved you just a week ago. This is the perfect time to actually give him a treat, the worries of the current situation thrown away.

Quickly grabbing a big chocolate cookie from the leftovers, you don‘t hesitate to skip to the red helmet wearing mass of muscle, with a wide smile. With your adrenaline still being skyrocketed, it doesn‘t make this easy at all though. Your hands and legs are trembling, and you are still having trouble processing what actually happened in here.

Tapping the shoulder of Red Hood, you keep hold of the cookie in your free hand. He immediately turns his head to you and he visibly relaxes, but tenses again. Bruce is going to cut his head off later, for being unaware of civilians and possibly harming them.

»Y-your sweet treat for saving me last week.« You want to slap yourself with how your voice trembles and the fact that you just stuttered in front of him. But he doesn‘t seem to acknowledge it and seems to scan you and the cookie.

Batman also has his attention on you and the other vigilante hopes the words you just said made Bruce less angry towards him. You are clearly unaware of the tension between the two and just seem to be happy by just giving your hero of the night a cookie as a small thanks. Red takes the cookie from you, having to save it for later since he can't eat with his helmet on. He simply takes it and looks back at you with a subtle nod.

»Thanks, but you didn't need to.«

You wave it off, glad he didn't seem to notice your trembling hands and slightly dishevelled look. Well, he did not acknowledge it, but Batman will surely take care of that. Ambulances are on their way already and he is sure he will grow sick from the way you look so dreamy at his son.

»Are you hurt? We'll get you some help, just lay the knife down.«

Oh, the knife is something you've totally forgotten and now your trembling hands seem even more obvious. You sheepishly lay the knife away onto the counter and follow them outside, Red Hood guiding you to a nearby ambluance to let the doctors treat you. Once there, they can only patch up the light scratches you got from the few glass splitters that flew your way from the big window and glass door. You still have no idea how they could possibly fly through that thick glass, having paid quite some money for it.

Finally, they finished with the few scratches at your side and you are left alone with a warm cup of tea to soothe your nerves and keep you warm; a silver blanket around your shoulders to protect you from the biting february cold. You have the perfect opportunity to look over the scene. Police have already sealed your bakery off with yellow tapes, now looking around to put small cards with numbers on potential evidence. From this view, you can see the few blood pools on the wooden floor, knowing it will be a pain to clean that off. Surely your clients can understand and tolerate a small haitus over a few days, if not weeks, to clean everything and renovate some things.

Sighing out, you sip on your tea and already make mental notes on what to buy and work on in your bakery. Luckily your kitchen stayed unharmed.

»How you holding up? Enjoying your tea?«

You almost jump out of your skin again at the voice that came beside you, not having noticed him approach at all. Is this why they call him Nightwing? Getting out of your small surprise, you nod and just rest the tea cup in your hands.

»Good, tea is good too.« You smile back politely, the man beside you currently leaning against the door of the ambulance slightly.

»Yeah? Is this your bakery? We didn't mean to destroy your windows and floors, we can take care of that since it's the least we could do.«

Damn his charming smile and smooth voice. You simply nod in response but your mind drifts off. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be in Blüdhaven, fighting crime instead of here? You don't follow the news that much, but you do know that he isn't normally here. Not in a situation like this anyway. You snap out once he speaks up again.

He eventually finds out that this bakery is indeed yours and you were about to close it before these two insane maniacs accidently flew right through the big window and continued their fight there. He also finds out about how Red saved you last week and got you home safely. Somehow you managed to even ramble off to Nightwing about it. And he seems invested in your story, almost fangirling with you but keeps his laid back and smug demeanor for most of the time.

The conversation gets interrupted as Red Hood grabs Nightwing by his collar, dragging him finally away from you and also almost starting a fight with him because of that.

»Dude, this is destiny! You can't tell me this is a very strange and funny coincidence; you saved her last week and now crashed into her bakery? That's... that's-«

»Shut up, dick! We don't even know each other.« Jason snaps back annoyed, really not wanting to talk about something cheesy like this, even when he privately enjoys reading romance novels, similar to this.

»Oh, come on, she seems nice and genuinely wants to get to know you! Now's your chance, Jay.«

»Fuck off!« Jason almost growls, earning a look from Bruce who is currently approaching them. It seems like the GCPD caught the criminal and are currently driving him to his new cell, being done for tonight, if nothing other happens after this.

You attempt to peek towards their way, but you don't see them anywhere anymore, having disappear into the night again. The ambulance drives you home that night, getting told to rest for tonight and don't worry about anything else. But you do worry about something. Are they really going to replace your window and half-broken door?

----

The next day felt a little less pleasent, the wind being stronger than yesterday. You make your way to the bakery and go into the front door this time, wanting to see how bad the damage really is. The entire front window is gone, the glass splitters laying on the floor inside and outside, and your door seems to jammed and half crushed. You don't even want to know how they managed to do this.

Not even a minute later, a small group of men approach you and look kind of shady. One of them stands now in front of you and holds out an envelope, it being almost as thick as a small loaf of bread.

»Miss, we are here to repair your window and door.«

He starts, expecting you to take the envelope full of money and just trust him with the repair. Where did they get so much money from?You study them, the small group of men standing behind him and also watching you, some assessing the damaged shop. They are all taller than you, dressed in a suspicious looking clothes, but they seem to have a good motive.

»And who are you?«

»I am Bill-« He gets slapped by the back of his head, getting whispered some words. His more chirp tone gets interrupted and clears his throat before speaking up.

»We were sent from Red Hood to take care of the damage.«

He said with a more monotone and low voice, glancing to the non-existent window. You slowly take the envelope from him and nod, remembering the words from Nightwing last night again and feel relieved about it.

They get to work once you agree, noticing the small truck near by as five of them walk over and now carry the new glass of window to your shop, the other five men cleaning the mess up, and making sure the window is ready to get installed. You almost get a heart attack as you watch them carry the new window, keeping your eyes on them while they work. In the meantime, you make sure to stash the large stack of money somewhere safe, guessing it's probably more money than needed, but you don't complain.

After probably two hours of watching them work, the men seem to be finished and now clean the big window, also making sure to clean the blood soaked floor, and not knock anything over. You've counted ten of them, meaning to give them some sweets in return.

As soon as they all group up again and get ready to leave, you approach them quickly with two bigger bags in hands. One has a good amount of cookies, the other has two boxes full of éclair with different fillings. They hold back their excitement and take the bags, driving back to their unofficial base and share the sweets with the rest. Mostly giving it to the kids since they are also curious on what they brought back.

Finally, the bakery seems to return to its old self. The usual costumers arrive and buy stuff, sharing their empathy with you and also leaving you some extra tips for the repairs. If you knew this could get this much money, you would have done this way earlier. Somehow.

The following days, the men of Red Hood appear in your bakery more often. At least five of them arrive each day and buy some sweets from you, mostly getting some éclair and brownies. You don't complain, actually finding it quite cute how they buy some of your baked goods and pay you a good amount of money for it too, wondering if they buy it for themselves or even for the Red Hood himself.

Red Hood, however, hates how obsessed they seem with your sweets. It's gotten to a point where there is always either a full or half-eaten cookie laying around somewhere. The children shouldn't eat so much sugar anyway, so he tries to control the amount of stuff they buy from your shop.

Once the six men arrive back from their small shopping trip, they get greetet by a grumpy Boss. He seems to be grumbling something to himself, several curses slipping out of him while he cleans his gun on the couch. But Bill does figure out some words, something about a bakery and... is he fussing about the baked goods? Does he want more or is he trying to figure out on how to meet you again? Whatever it is, he already has a plan. If boss seems upset, he is the first to make him feel better and solve any problems he may have.

----

You are currently closing the back door after taking care of the place, having cleaned it as usual and prepared the rest for the following day. It's been probably about two weeks since you have these new, polite, but also strange regulars. They come in every day around afternoon, order about two bags full of baked goods and leave the place with small smiles. Today wasn't any different, they even left a big tip again and muttered small thanks as the other day.

Turning around, you didn't notice to see a small girl standing before you, asking for help as she claims to be lost. Of course you help her, she looks so tiny and cute as her eyes water up and seems to be close to howliing her eyes out. You kneel down to be at her level, getting something cold hit against the back of your neck. You pass out. That is the last thing you could remember, being unconscious.

Red Hood doesn't know what's worse. The fact that his men kidnapped you or that Bill used his niece for bait to get you. Either way, he has no idea what he should do now. You are laying unconsciously in the arms of the so-called kidnapper, Bill, who organised all of this. His explanation was simple: 'But Boss, you looked sad and talked about her.' No, the fuck he didn't.

But before he could scold him out and land bullets in each of their heads, you stirr in his arms. Air seems to freeze and everyone watches your next move. Red tenses and is also relieved at the same time, glad they didn't knock you out too hard. Once you can blink your eyes open, you recognise the man holding you almost immediately. Still, due to not knowing where you are or how you got here, you swing at him and fall to the ground. You yelp and grab for your pepper spray in your pocket, trying to aim it to him but realise too late that the safety click is still on.

»Lady, calm down! We brought you to Boss- Red Hood, sorry!« Bill exclaims and holds his hands up, as do the other four men who stand by him. Your heart somehow calms down, but only a fraction until you look to the actual Red Hood standing by the other side.

»What?« You huff out quietly, still aiming the bottle of pepper spray towards your supposed kidnapper.

Red only groans, the sound coming off strangled through his helmet and the distortion mic he most likely wears. »Idiots. Out.« He gruffs out, them actually listening and hurrying out of the room.

Now, this is awkward. This feels like a bad romcom-soap your grandma would watch and try to convince you of how romantic it is. You slowly put your pepper spray back into your pocket and stand off the floor. At least he isn't towering over you now, but the height difference still feels humbling to some extend.

You clear your throat and try to figure out what to say. It seems like he is doing the same, staring at you while scrambling for anything to talk about.

»Do you... need a ride home? It's almost one in the morning, so...«

He eventually suggests and you wish you could at least read his body language, but he stays as still as a stick. But the request is appreciated and you nod, actually happy to be driven home by him again. He grabs an extra helmet for you and you both make your way outside, walking the few steps to his bike.

It's mostly quiet, and you don't really know what to say yourself, just letting him help you get on and ensure that you sit safely behind him. You wrap your arms around his torso, making sure to keep them higher up, instead of listening to your intrusive thoughts and letting them slip lower. You can't even wrap them fully around him, being able to touch your fingertips together at his chest, but not more. He starts driving in a shocking speed, making you clutch onto him tighter.

You squint your eyes together under the helmet, just hoping he isn't driving too fast and possibly going over the speed limit. But even if he was, he most certainly didn't care and you start to think he just wants to bring you home as fast as possible.

And indeed, it didn't take long for you to get home, getting off the bike with some help again. His bigger hands help you take off the helmet you wear, getting a bit sheepish and secretly flustered at how gentle he is.

»Listen, I'm really sorry for this. I don't know how they got the idea of... well, kidnapping you. I'm really sorry.«

He holds your helmet in his hands as he apologises and seems genuine. Like, genuinely sorry and guilty for this.

»No, it's fine. At least I got a free ride home.« It seems he didn't expect you to be so forgiving about it and take it lightly. Were you kidnapped often that you are reacting this way? He nods slowly, straightening up on his bike.

»Still... have a good night, then.«

He drives off afterwards, having watched you walk inside your apartment complex, just to make sure you actually went home safe. ----

The next few days were actually quiet for once. The usual buff men of his didn't come in for a while until, like three days later and bought a few cupcakes and cookies this time. It's getting warmer now finally, it being march now and it starts to rain less. Even though you live in Gotham, the weather seems to work out somehow. Especially today, the sun was out for maximum ten minutes and your day got better a whole lot. After dealing with the handful of costumers that come in everyday, you can prepare the bakery to close down. Once it's done, you close the door but halt in your steps as you turn around.

Red. A red motorcycle and the red man leaning against it with his arms crossed.

»What are you doing here? Kidnapping me again?«

You step closer to him and he shakes his head lightly, already handing you over an extra helmet. »No, trying to do the opposite. You seem to have a problem with getting home safe.«

You huff out amused at his answer, secretly flustered and appreciating that he will drive you home again.

»Is this going to be a routine? Because I do hope it will.«

You question while putting on your helmet, keeping your eyes on him. He seems to consider it for a moment, in reality not wanting to come off as a creep or stalker.

»I guess so, then. Seems like you would only appreciate it.«

He shrugs and helps you getting on the back of his bike once more, making sure your arms are tight around him before he drives off. This time he drives slower and probably more cautiously. Either way, you keep your arms tight around him. Getting to the point of arriving home is the saddest part though. You step from the seat and feel the need to return the favour. Standing before him, he also doesn't leave just yet, even when he just put your helmet away.

»Same time tomorrow?« You finally manage to ask, smiling sheepishly at him. He nods almost too quickly and straightens his back lightly.

»Always.«

And on that night, you weren't sure what you two were. Of course, he is your personal uber driver now, but that doesn't stop you from becoming even more crazy over him.

----

It had been about three weeks since he drove you home himself, and he is still doing it. The brief drive back made you two become closer. Well... you are mostly talking about your day and yourself during the ride while he listens and nods from time to time.

This time though, he doesn't wait for you as usual. Indeed, you are getting worried and hope you didn't overshare the other day and scared him off that way. Okay, maybe that was dramatic, but you are really unsure now. Should you go to your bus station or wait until he arrives? If you wait and he doesn't appear, you will miss your bus and have to walk. At least there isn't any ice around anymore, it being the middle of march. But you also have some hope that he will actually arrive and you just need to wait a little longer... a little longer, and... just a little longer?

An hour came by and you missed your bus already. It probably would have been better if you just went to your bus station.

A loud sound of an engine rips you out of your thoughts and you look towards the sound, instantly recognising the bike. He stops just right before you, making you flinch at how dangerously close he is.

»I'm late, I know - something came up, just hop on...«

He gestures behind his back and you hesitate briefly before taking a seat behind him. Red hastily hands you over your helmet and waits, sighing out. He sounds exhausted and seems unlike himself. Whatever happened, you are very curious and on the verge of asking. You would have, if he wouldn't have started driving in high speed. The bike lets out an ear-blaring sound and a high screetch against the asphalt, making you hold on tighter around him. You don't hear it, but Red grunts lightly at your touch, gritting his teeth under his helmet.

He parks clumsly near your door and stalls the bike, groaning as he tries to keep himself from wincing at his pain by his side.

»What happened?« You get off the bike and stand by his side, taking off your helmet while he tilts his head away from you. He shakes his head and waves a dismissive hand at you, struggling to puts his engine on again.

»C'mon, you arrived late, you seem to be in a hurry and you breath unevenly. Something's up.«

You try to be more demanding and he stops breathing for a moment at your observation. After what seems like an eternity he caves in.

»You know how to stitch people up?«

Standing in the living room in front of your couch, on which you sit on, you stitch up his gash across his side carefully. You explained to him shortly that your father was a medic in the past and thaught you a thing or two about that stuff. You live in Gotham, for God's sake.

He stays surprisingly still during the treatment, not uttering a word or wince during the entire procedure. That's when you start to get worried.

Finally, after several minutes of dead silence, you lean away and now bandage his cut up. »You had a full on gash on your side and still decided to drive me home? Are you completely insane?«

Now the scolding starts. He had hoped you would just patch him up and let him go, but it seems like you make him stay and listen to your lecture. He stays standing in front of you, silently observing you while you scold him out and stand right before him. Your friendship had reached the level of where you can easily joke around with each other and tease, but also express concern without coming off as weird or creepy.

»You could have just texted me and tell me you wouldn't pick me up, you know? I could take the bus instead.«

He shakes his head. Of course he does.

»Wanted to make sure you are safe.«

»No, absoulutely not. Don't put me over your health, that's stupid and dangerous.«

You voice firmly but he stays calm. You have every right to be upset and angry about his antics, but he really just wanted to make sure you are safe and sound.

"Now, eat the cookie and crash here. No arguing.«

He blinks, perplex about your final words. To be honest, he didn't pay attention to your lecture until now. The cookie in his hand is new too, not having felt it there before. The red vigilante listens to you and sits down on your couch.

You watch him, eventually leaving the living room to your own room, and get ready to sleep.

You don't see him the next morning, but he did text you just around four AM.

»Thanks for patching me up, doc. Will come by more often, probably.«

----

»So, have you asked her out yet? Even gotten her number, or nah? Do you even know her name by now, or should I ask her? Are you even listening to me?«

Dick asks through the comms, making a big deal out of it. It's only a matter of time when he notices that Jason turned his earpiece off and starts annoying him all over. This night's patrol is slower than usual; Nightwing gaining the chance to annoy and interrogate his little brother.

»Well... her cupcakes are good.« That smug bastard mumbles into the comms once he sees they are turned on again by Jason's side, the sly smirk evident, even through an earpiece.

»What? Please don't tell me you visited her fucking bakery, you-«

He gets interrupted by his brother, chuckling through the earpiece like the infuriating jerk that he is.

»She knows my name by now. Because I am a regular.« Dick taunts, hoping to get a reaction out of him and also know more about the situation he has going on with you.

»Yeah? Well, she knows the names of my men and I drive her home every night after her shift. You've got nothing on me.«

For the first time, Dick is actually positively surprised about what his brother said. If this is true, then why aren't you guys together yet?

»And...?« He presses on, hoping to hear more news about the new soon-to-be-girlfriend, not wanting for him to say that there is nothing else to discuss about just yet.

»What 'and'? There's nothing else.«

Dick groans heavily, having to lean his head back in frustration and stop his observation over the city. »You can't possibly tell me you haven't made a move yet. Seriously, are you that shy or are you genuinely this stupid?«

Jason rolls his eyes and continues to cruise through the busy streets, skipping red lights while doing so. »Don't tell me what to do, you're the one who fumbled the most.«

Dick is silent after that, deciding to continue patrolling and focusing instead of prying into his brother's love life. But not without some more 'friendly' bickering between the two. ----

A month later and Red Hood has been over in your place more often, mostly because of his injuries but also because of you. He wants to actually spend more time together and for you to get to know him. Currently, he is sitting leaned back on your couch, you sitting beside him while sorting through your med kit after treating his light wounds.

Your friendship has grown to that point, where you can lean against the other without much trouble and you already took a nap against his shoulder once after patching him up.

This night seems a little different though. Mostly for Red because he is determined to chance something in your friendship. Once you place the med kit back on your coffee table, you lean against his side and sigh out. He carefully wraps his arm around you shulder to keep you close, but also making sure to give you some space if you don't want to stay close.

»Tired?« He still hasn't taken his helmet off once during your time together, hiding his identity like no other. But you do know his first name, he has given you that after you'd asked rather sheepishly a while ago.

»Not really, just... a little.«

He nods back in response and feels his heart rate pick up as his thoughts wander off. He really does want for you to know him. To really know him, not just his name. After a longer moment of comfortable silence, he clears his throat lightly and shifts beside you.

»I want you to know me.« He really doesn't know how else to start this and be more vulnerable around you. You, however, don't react shocked or with any negative reaction, just listening and staying leaned against him with his arm gently around you. He takes it as a sign to continue.

»I'm... I'm going to take my helmet off, so... just don't freak out or anything.«

Red scoffs lightly to himself and reaches for his helmet with his free hand, slowly taking it off while he feels his heart pound in his ears. You simply watch, being nervous yourself for no reason. No, you are happy. Ecstatic even, and it gives you an absurd amount of feelings in your chest that you can't comprehend.

His face his bare now, hair falling lightly into his face. Jason finally looks to you and shifts on the couch to face you better. He looks way younger than in your head but even more so handsome and beautiful. His eyes search yours, any sign of rejectment or disgust but he sees none. Indeed, he can only see the amount of adoration and affection in your gaze.

»I really want to you know me and for us to actually be more than... this simple arrangement we have going on. You are, I mean... you make me happy and you're literally, hands down, the most friendly and understanding person I've ever met. It's probably a lot for you, but I genuinely want more and for-«

You really want to hear him out and hear what else he has to say, but your emotions take over. You cut his words off with a kiss, and not just some kiss. A meaningful, and passionate kiss that should make him know how much you adore him and love him. You put all your feelings into it that even he is overwhelmed with how gentle you are. As if he could break of crumble at any moment.

Both hands holding his face, he leans closer into you and kisses you back with just as much love. Neither of you know who broke the kiss first, but you both gasp for air. He leans back again and stares back at you, cheeks flushed and heart calming down slightly.

You both feel flustered now, letting go of him and stay seated beside him.

»I was kinda impatient, sorry...«

Finally he chuckles, sending you both into a fit of giggles and he hugs you tightly, almost crushing you with how strong he is. The night ended up with you both talking even more, sharing some fleeting kisses into the early morning before you have to go to work and he needs to leave to his own business. ----

Your relationship progressed in the following months, both being super cheesy with the other in private but both of you won't admit it to anyone else.

That's when the door rings to your apartment, not expecting anyone in particular as you bake cookies with Jason in your kitchen. He goes to the door to answer it, his cheek having some flour on it while his usual black shirt also has flour spots. Not that he cares.

He opens the door and there stands his oh, so lovely brother. His eye twitches.

»Hey Jaybird, I see you're having fun, but I-«

The door closes abruptly in Dick's face and there's only some muffled words to be heard from behind it, Jason ignoring those and walking back to you.

»Who was it?«

»Dickface.«

He grumbles, settling behind you to hug you and rest his chin on your shoulder. You want to scold him for treating his brother that way but you lose your words as soon as he nuzzles into your neck. That day went by great without any further interruptions from annoying dickfaces, spending the time with you in peace after turning his phone off as well.

Jason's won't ever let anything interrupt you both.

a/n: literally wrote this whole thing in one go, I was really determined to get this off my list. I really hoope it didn't come off as too rushed 😭😭 I hope you enjoyed it!

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[wlntrsldler]

Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?

apple pie | jamie tartt

based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)

warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad

word count: 2631

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When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 

You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 

At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 

“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 

“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 

“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 

“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 

“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 

“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”

You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 

“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 

“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 

“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 

Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 

You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.

Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 

Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 

During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.

All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 

“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 

“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 

Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 

“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 

The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 

Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 

When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 

To: lover boy <3

“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 

By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 

The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 

You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 

It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 

He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 

“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 

Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.

He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 

“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 

“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 

Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 

“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 

He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 

Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 

Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 

Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.

[inuiiwonderland]

Twisted captivity

Chapter 5

Twst third years x fem reader

Words: 850

A/n: I am SO not back on my grind….very sorry for a LATE and SHORT chapter😖😖

-

Curse Crowley and curse your parents for encouraging you to get this job.

You were up ALL night reading and going through the stacks of papers Crowley so graciously gave you the other day.

Only getting a good 2 hours worth of sleep before hearing your alarm going off.

Damn you crowley

You forcefully slammed open the heavy doors of the Octavinelle enclosure. Bucket of fish in your right hand while your left held your bag that had all your books, journals and your own food.

Your jaw drops at the sight of octavinelle. The whole area had a beautiful blue glow as waterfalls and caves came into view.

“How the hell is he able to afford all of this??” You say to no one in particular. You continue to look around in awe as you put down the bucket and your bag. Unaware of the mismatched eyes watching you, you quickly grab your journal and pen.

“I say Crowley did an amazing job designing this whole thing…or maybe crewel!” You continue to mumble to yourself. The sudden sound of water Splashing and the feeling of cold water hitting your back brought you back as you gasp and quickly turn around.

“What the-“ Your eyes go wide as you see the one responsible for throwing water at you. He cackles as he points at you. You frown as you watch the mer- or eel?? Continue to laugh at you.

“Not very funny” The eel stops and tilts his head before opening his mouth.

“Funny. Very”

Ah so he knows how to speak

“You must beeee” You try to remember the name of the eel in front of you. After all, you were up all night studying everyone's files.

“Floyd!” The eel smiles in delight. Showing off rows of razor sharp teeth as he nods.

“Ah and if I remember correctly, you have a twin?” He smiles even wider at the mention of his twin brother.

“Jade!”

“Right” before you can ask any more questions, he quickly dives back underwater.

“Wait! I still have one more question…” You sulk at the amount of times you've been ignored by the mers in this facility.

And father said this was supposed to be a fun job

Another splash of water caught your attention. You look up to see Floyd but this time he wasn’t alone.

“Jade!” He points. The other eel that looks almost identical to his brother eyed you in curiosity. He then smiles as he waves. You awkwardly wave back as Floyd just looks excited.

“Anyways…I brought food!” And just like that, almost all of the mers that were hiding came up at the mention of food. You gasp as everyone comes out of their hiding spots.

“Sevens you guys must be hungry” you mumble out as you grab the bucket and start feeding them.

After you made sure everyone had their fair share of food, you look down at the bucket to see you still had some extra.

“Hey floyd” he perks up at the mention of his name. He turns to you and tilts his head. Curious.

“Is there anyone else who needs to be fed? I still have some extra” He thinks for a moment before quickly diving back down. Seconds later he comes back up with someone squirming against his hold.

“Azul! He’s hungry!” The octo mer that was just struggling moments ago stops before his whole face turns blue.

He must feel embarrassed

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. If I’m being honest I’m hungry too but I have a few more hours until my lunch break” You say with a sigh. He slowly turns to look at you as you hand him his food. He looks at your hands and then you before quickly grabbing it and swimming back down.

“Is he a shy one?” You ask.

“Very” You giggle before looking at the watch on your wrist.

“Well it was nice meeting you guys. But unfortunately it’s time for me to go” As you stand up, you feel a webbed hand clasp on your wrist. You turn to see that it was Floyd. He wore a frown as he tried to pull you back down.

“Uhh can you let me go? Please?” The eel mer just stared at you and you tried to pull his hand away but it was no use. He was strong.

“Floyd” He quickly lets go when he hears jades voice. The two seem to talk in their language before Floyd rolls his eyes and dives back down underwater. Jade gives you an apologetic smile before doing the same.

You stood there for a good minute before remembering an important piece of information that you read in Floyd’s file.

Name: Floyd leech

Eel mer

Background Information - Him and Jade have been separated from their parents since they were young. Floyd gets very attached to female keepers as he sometimes views them as his mother.

Poor boy

You let out a heavy sigh as you gather your things.

Next stop, Pomefiore

-

Taglist!!! -

@ruisann

@roseapov

@0ffth3rec0rd

@anunholyabomination

@owodi

@mochi-lover26

@coffee-or-hot-cocoa

@Floevi

@thatpersonuouknow

@h0rr0r-10ver-69

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, GoodTimesWithScar, 6/26/24

((Geez louise, ten thousand words on this bad boy, it took literally a full day and evening. Worth it though, because this one is jam packed! So many meetings with friends, so many wild mob encounters, so much death! I ended up needing to do detailed recap on all but the last half hour, which was Disney talk that can be watched on the VOD for anyone who would like to.))

9:15 Scar starts his stream in studio view, imploring his audio to “please work” after the madness of last stream. Audio is fine today. Scar is relieved. He greets Chat and shows off the ConCorp shirt he found in his closet. Today’s plan is to hunt mobs and look at spoilers. Scar didn’t finish the video he was hoping to, but he’s going to show off what he’s done, and he’s going to get a Magic Hands Man for the villain car! He thanks subs and donos. Chat asks how he’s doing, he is okay and they’re all going to have some fun today! There are a lot of subs and donos coming in today.

12:30 Some voice donos come in wishing Scar luck on the surgery and commenting on how funny the echo stream was. ((In Scar’s 6/23 stream an audio issue that ran almost 40 minutes caused endless audio looping and much hilarity and distress for Scar.)) Scar laughs and admits he thought about cutting that portion out of the VOD but decided to leave it in because it was funny. Chat agrees that was a great decision. Scar says that the VOD channel has been doing really well for hits lately, people must like it! A lot of chatters use Scar as comfortable background atmosphere and he is very cool with that.

16:03 Chat notices that the broken headset is still conspicuously unburied and unsent to a nice farm. Scar shows off the brand new duct tape job he has done, conveniently ignoring his promise last stream to get new headphones. The headphone is visibly sliding down the side of Scar’s head. Scar switches to game view, where he is standing on top of Ore Mountain with an amazing view of the Magic Mountain dig site. He tells chat that someone is trying to frame him as the Ore Snatcher! Not for the first time, either! This is especially egregious considering that Scar is the chief investigator. Scar shows Chat the landscaping he has been working on, an artificial extension to the river with an engineered shoreline, then tells them to ignore it because it is not finished yet.

18:00 Scar shows chat his rocket shulker, which he left in front of the train last night. Sometime last night between the time Scar signed off around 11:30pm and the time he came back, the Ore Snatcher struck! Scar opens the shulker and reveals five deepslate diamond ore blocks, each one named “Doc’s Diamond Ore.” Scar thought there were only four ore missing, but Chat corrects him to six. Scar is a bit embarrassed to realize the chief investigator did not know that. He makes a notation in the Scroll of Scrolls. He also notes that whoever the Ore Snatcher is, they probably smell bad.

19:40 A voice dono message comes through and Scar misses it. He admits to Chat that while he wants to hang onto his headphones as long as possible, the left side doesn’t actually, you know, _work_ anymore, and that makes some things very hard to hear. A chatter sends Scar a tip to watch the clip in his Discord channel. Joe and Cub are super sus. Scar agrees that all this finger-pointing is indeed super-sus. His lead mod signs on and Scar opens the rocket box again to show off the framing evidence. It is sus to name the diamond ore as well, very sus.

21:25 Scar is briefly distracted quizzing chat on the name of his rocket box, which is “272,300 – RP-1.” Chat is mostly baffled, guesses maybe coordinates, but one clever chatter correctly guesses that it is the amount of RP1 rocket fuel needed for the Falcon 9. Chat is impressed by the deep dive, if nothing else. He shows off his other box, which is “810,700 – RP-1,” which is the amount needed for the Saturn rocket. Chat agrees that Scar is a nerd.

22:35 Time for work! Scar tries to remember what work he wanted to do today. He remembers, magic hands man acquisition! He explains that there is an empty village behind Bdubs’ base with a single nitwit safely buried underground. This is just enough village to trigger a raid. But once a raid is triggered and the evoker is acquired, how to get it back? Scar’s theory is that if he puts a magic hands man in the back of his boat and rows real fast, maybe it won’t be able to kill him. Chat agrees that rowing fast might be the only answer. Scar shows how the waterway goes all the way from the village to the train, so it would be perfect if he could avoid death. A ravager could also go in a boat, so he has the same question there. Chat doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but they really want to watch Scar try.

25:00 Scar says that he and Tango have fixed Minecraft. It is not right, he claims, that one cannot ride a ravager. The solution is to make rotten flesh useful by feeding it to ravagers in exchange for temporary riding privileges. Chat says sorry, Minecraft does not allow fun. Scar sighs agreement for that one. He promises once again that he will get lava for Frank, the sad cold strider. He shows off the Vindicator he has already secured in a boat, then gets ready for his adventure. He brings a lot of totems, mentioning that Hermitcraft operates by the laws of the high seas, which means that if somebody builds a farm in the ocean, it is okay to steal from it. Which he did. A voice chat about Genie+ puts Scar into Disney rant mode, but a second voice chat telling him that it’s Stitch Day distracts him and a third about Star Wars gets him ranting in a whole new direction. He shoots the bannerman he’s been keeping boated up and heads for the village.

30:30 Scar has decided to consider Star Wars TV shows as the McDonalds food of the franchise, good enough but not really filling or as good as you thought about it in your head. He’s also unhappy about how much more they are spending on The Acolyte than on House of Dragon for less result. Scar is loving House of Dragons though. He arrives at the village, starting an immediate raid, and begins wiping out pillagers. The problem with this particular village is that there are a lot of places for pillagers to hide. He finds two of the first wave hiding inside a building, and then can’t find the second wave at all. As he searches, he talks about Disney’s propensity for unnecessary sequels.

37:30 The raid is really lost. Chat tells Scar he should’ve brought the bell he stole from Doc on Day One. Scar thinks they might be right, because he clearly needs some help. A chatter makes a large donation and wishes Scar “Happy Stitch Day!” Scar is flustered, touched, grateful and slightly enraged. The raid is still nowhere to be seen, so Scar enables freecam mode and goes exploring. He doesn’t find the raid, but he dips down into the massive and impressive empty space left by Doc’s tunnel bore. Scar is impressed and makes a note to come down and grab some amethysts.

40:00 Scar consults the chat for help. They suggest up on the mountain and ringing the bell. Scar doesn’t have the bell, but he keeps looking. No luck. He needs help! Chat really thinks he should go get the bell (and turn on hitboxes.) Scar eventually goes to get the bell off Magic Mountain. He talks to Chat about his surgery, explaining that it is a less intense surgery than some he’s had before, mostly correcting stuff that was done wrong with his feeding tube back in 2021 and 2022. Hopefully he will not have to go under full anesthetic, which will substantially reduce recovery time but may provide less info to the doctors. In any case, the surgery is tomorrow and hopefully he can go home right afterwards. If things don’t go right and he ends up on a ventilator, that means an ICU trip and a few days of weaning. Right now everything is geared towards avoiding the ventilator option.

44:40 Even with the bell, the raid is not revealing itself. A chatter asks what happened with the first surgery. Scar is just beginning to explain the previous J-tube surgery ((A J-Tube is a type of feeding tube that is implanted directly into the intestine, as opposed to a G-tube which goes into the stomach.)) when someone shoots a flaming arrow at him! It’s Impulse! Scar tells him he needs to work on his VelociTE skills, Impulse claims he didn’t actually want to kill Scar when he was already having raid troubles.

45:10 Scar asks Impulse if he’s seen the clip of Scar’s echoing call for his help. Impulse has indeed seen that clip and enjoyed it very much. He asks if Scar got it fixed and Scar says sort of, but there is some kind of underlying microphone issue as well. Impulse makes some audio recommendations, but Scar’s audio setup is a disaster mess and his new Roadcaster is not fully set up yet, plus his headphones are they way they are. Impulse casually flexes the fact that he has the bigger version of the Roadcaster that Scar has and it shouldn’t be too difficult to set up and troubleshoot together in a couple of hours. Scar asks if Impulse is a big expert on raids; Impulse has faced a few. They start looking for the raiders together.

48:00 Scar and Impulse work through their guilt about using “cheatycam,” deciding their need is dire because they just can’t find this raid. Scar finds a cat and mentions that Tango keeps murdering the cats that spawn in his steam tunnels. Chat is not happy with this news. Scar suggests Tango should start a cat army. Impulse says Tango could be the next server cat lady. They resort to freecam, Scar is very confused by Impulse’s soundbyte of voice-altered Tango saying “That’s cheating!” They both start camming around. Impulse points out that there is something to be said for the patented Grian method of just ignoring the raid, but Scar says he actually needs his magic hands man. Impulse explores this premise further, Scar is actually going to catch and move an evoker? On a livestream? In front of people? Scar finds his skepticism unflattering. Impulse asks if Scar would like to tackle a redstone project live on stream next. Excited, Scar asks if Impulse wants to see his redstone. Impulse hastily demurs and runs away. Lots of raiders to catch, after all!

51:00 Outraged, Scar insists that they go and look at the redstone RIGHT NOW. He thinks Impulse doesn’t believe that he has completed a real live redstone project and there’s only one way to fix it. Scar begins flying back toward the Shopping District. Impulse does not follow. Scar demands his attendance via game chat. He does not specify who should comes to Poe Poe HQ, so Cleo says “Okay.” Impulse, in a stroke of wonderful luck for him, has found the raid. Scar flies back to join him. Chat feels a little bad about leaving Cleo hanging. Scar has a hard time finding Impulse and the raid both now, but Chat leads him to the right spot. There are no evokers in this phase, but they can at least kill the pillagers and move the raid along.

54:10 With the second wave taken care of, it suddenly occurs to Scar tht it might be nice to have a boat or minecart or something. Impulse is nonplussed, he sort of expected Scar to have this stuff since it’s his project and all. Scar digs the appropriate gear out of his ender chest, then suggests that maybe they should just go see his redstone instead. Impulse agrees, then immediately distracts Scar with the weird behavior of the pillager wave that is just spawning in. They fight the next wave. Impulse thinks it is possible to put a ravager in a boat, but he doesn’t know if it will kill the rower. He thinks it sounds like something fun to do the science on. If he wants a ravager and an evoker, though, multiple raids might be required. Impulse agrees with Scar that players should be able to ride ravagers.

57:00 Another pillager wave, still no magic hands man. Scar shoots several pillagers and also Impulse by accident. They complete the wave and another one spawns, this one with the coveted evoker! Fresh Animations make pillagers look very fast! The evoker falls in the water, but Scar is pretty sure pillagers can swim. They can, though how they swim with their arms in villager pose is a mystery. Scar tells Impulse some stories of swim team practices that make the dad in Impulse very alarmed. They decide that Impulse will kill the ravager and Scar will get the evoker. The magic hands man releases the vexes, but Scar knew that would happen. He wore his ConCorp shirt today and everything! Scar flees from the vexes and accidentally drops the boat, but manages to put a totem into his hand and fly off before dying.

1:00:40 Scar returns to earth to find that Impulse has not killed the ravager quite as much as would be desirable, and in fact the ravager has made it all the way to the evoker pond and is killing Impulse. Scar is faced with an angry ravager sitting in the middle of a pile of Impulse bits, some of which have fallen into the water with the evoker. It is not great. Scar has also replaced his offhand totem with a bit of rail somehow. He shoots the vex in the boat and dives in the water to retrieve Impulse’s stuff, and is almost immediately killed. Chat, who has been yelling about the totem for quite awhile now, saw this coming. Scar is upset that he and Impulse are going to mix bits now. Chat has feelings about that phrasing.

1:02:10 Scar jumps back in the water. He is still trying to keep the evoker alive, which makes things more dangerous. He actually does a pretty good job of collecting bits under fire until he sees the evoker treading water. He gets way too caught up in a bit about what a good swimmer the evoker is and begins to drown himself. Catching himself, he gets his first load of items into a barrel on shore, but many important things are still missing, including Scar’s sword. Impulse was apparently carrying 52 ender chests. Scar dies to vexes in the water again.

1:04:00 Scar jumps back in the water. He pops a totem and dies again. Impulse who apparently had not set his spawn, finally makes it back. Scar dies again. Vex can fly underwater. This is really bad news. Impulse and Scar meet up and trade bits. Tango, alerted by Scar’s death loop, arrives to mock them but also to help. Scar and Impulse catch him up on their totally normal and not-dangerous situation. Scar shares his theory that if he can row a boat fast enough with Magic Hands Man in it, he can avoid the vexes and be safe. Tango does not think this will work but he would very much like to see Scar try it. Scar begins sketching out a plan to get the evoker out of the water and onto the thin strip of land separating the pond from the river. Tango digs out a canal to connect the two bodies of water. Scar is sad he did not think of that.

1:08:20 Scar goes into one of the village huts to sulk for a moment and discovers an indoor hot tub. Impulse discovers an outdoor vindicator and dies of it. Tango and Scar watch contemplatively as Impulse runs around, shrieking, pursued by a vindicator and then by another evoker he has found. He asks if they are going to help at any point, but they are busy being entertained by the cartoon antics. Scar encourages Impulse to get back in there for another round. Tango suggests that maybe Scar could at least put the evoker in a boat since it is literally on the edge of the water. Scar, who has his chin on his fist and is looking very much like a guy who is not intending to do anything right now, says the evoker looks too intimidating with his magic hands right now. Impulse dies again. Chat is having an _excellent_ time.

1:09:30 Tango and Scar are having an excellent time and agree this is much better than the original plan. Impulse dies again and suggests that maybe SOMEONE who has an actual WEAPON could HELP A LITTLE. Scar cheers Impulse on. In chat, Cub cheers Impulse on as well. Scar asks what Magic Hands Man’s actual name is. Tango tells him it is the evoker. While Scar is thinking about that, the actual evoker comes up and sics a bunch of vexes on them. Scar and Tango scatter.

1:10:20 Scar puts the evoker in the boat and jumps into it himself, then begins rowing for his absolute life while yelling to the others that he got him! Tango yells for him to go, go go! Scar switches between first person and F5 as he paddles as fast as he can. He almost gets hung up on a piling but squeaks through before getting vexed to death. The evoker is constantly casting behind him and making a sort of rocket-propelled visual effect behind the boat. Impulse and Tango fly alongside, cheering him on. They are all excited that this is working, but Tango wants to know what the exit strategy is here. Scar admits that’s a little more freeform and may involve some painful rail-line building. Chat is super excited to be a part of this amazing science.

1:13:20 Scar successfully parks the boat outside his train and ejects without dying. He did it! Now the Evoker just needs a nametag. It also needs to stop attacking them with vexes and stone teeth. Scar explains the plan to have Magic Hands Man in the villain car. Tango, who spent all of last season killing himself and his friends with hostile mobs, thinks this is a great idea. Scar rustles up a nametag and an anvil from his ender chest, but needs Tango to make the “Magic Hands Man” tag. Scar pops it onto the evoker and the deal is sealed! Tango asks if Scar plans to build the rail up into the car and everything today. Scar admits he couldn’t get his video done anyway, so he has nothing but time today.

1:16:10 Scar pulls out his Roller Coaster Tycoon shulker for rails and carts, then asks Tango and Impulse if they ever played RCT. Neither of them did. He asks them incredulously if they ever even had fun. They agree that no, there was no fun back then. Impulse says he had the best toy as a child, it was an empty can of soda and they kicked it down the street for fun. Scar asks if Impulse grew up in the fifties. They all do their best old crotchety grandfather impressions.

1:17:40 Impulse has to go, but he’s going to raid into Scar. Scar is disappointed that Impulse doesn’t want to see his redstone. Impulse promises he will see it another day. Before Impulse goes, Scar wants to ask one more question. He murders the name “Rotterdam” about ten times while telling Impulse that the TwitchCon there is doing BuildMart IRL. It sounds amazing! Impulse didn’t think Build Mart IRL means people will be getting out of their seats and doing stuff, but Scar is pretty convinced. (While this conversation is going on, Scar is talking to Doc, who has just signed on, in chat. He tells Doc to come to his base.) Impulse is mostly jealous because the MCC Live there has Ace Race and Railroad Rush, all the good games. “But do they have kick the can?” Tango asks. They decide that’s the next big MCC game, definitely, and Tango and Impulse will win every game. Scar says he would be so good at IRL Build Mart because he would grant his team a natural shopping cart advantage. He could also roll over people’s feet and knock them out of the game. He namedrops Tubbo as the first MCCer to be foot-rolled. He wants to go to TwitchCon very much.

1:21:00 Doc arrives and Scar has other things to do! He hurries off while Tango and Impulse head out. Scar shows Doc the diamond ore and explains the whole frame-up. Including the block that the Ore Snatcher left on top of the armor trim shop, this means all the ore is accounted for. Doc talks about what happened during Scar’s last stream while Scar makes notes on the Scroll of Scrolls. Doc believes that Scar is innocent, but wants to know if Scar is eating chips or something. That would be new for Scar. Scar explains the scroll, then tells Doc he thinks that whoever is framing him may not actually be the Ore Snatcher. There could be multiple actors at this point. Impulse raids into the stream. Doc and Scar agrees that this is a bad framing attempt, nobody would believe this.

1:24:40 While Scar is airing his investigation-related grievances, he demands to know how he is supposed to investigate with a warden in the shop! Doc tells him that is fixed already, the alarm is reset. Chat asserts that it is definitely Cub. Scar wants to know if Doc wants to see his redstone, but Doc is on a roll. Doc believes that the Ore Snatcher is done and won’t act again, and if there are no more attacks and no one confesses, the mystery could haunt him for the rest of his life. Doc and Scar decide to go to the trim shop and look at the signs again. As he flies, Scar points out to chat that three people have now refused to look at his redstone. Chat suggests asking Pearl or Bdubs. Chat also mentions that Doc saw Scar’s redstone on his most recent stream and was not exactly a fan. Scar tells Chat that he’s crossed Mumbo and Zed off the suspect list, but if Mumbo did it, it would be really, really funny.

1:27:00 Scar lands at the trim shop, only to find the alarm in full swing and very loud. He lands next to a new shop that is a dragon head and a creeper head and tries to see what’s going on. Doc says someone triggered the alarm again. He thinks for a moment that the warden is not free, but then everything goes dark. The warden is definitely free. Scar raises his concerns about breaking a wallet setting off the alarm and Doc points out that the shop isn’t even open yet. Nobody should be using their wallets there! He goes in to fix the alarm system and Scar takes off with a very pointed message about going to see his redstone that nobody will look at. Scar flies to his countdown clock and flips the switch. The pistons make a lot of noise and absolutely nothing happens. Scar waxes enthusiastic about how awesome his redstone is for a couple of minutes. Chat is confused. Scar thinks for a minute about possible Ore Snatcher culprits. Chat has lots of ideas, but there is still no proof for anything. Scar plays his suspicions close to his chest, but he doesn’t think it’s Grian.

1:31:00 Scar goes back to the shop, even as he tells chat that he really does need a new headset. He said the same thing last stream, but now he has really come to terms with it. Back at the trim shop he sees the sixth ore block and its mocking sign. He and Doc talk more about possible culprits with no evidence or proof. Scar does believe that the ore from his rocket box came from Ore Mountain and somebody just named it. He asks Doc when the shop will be opening, because he actually would like to buy some trims. Doc explodes that the shop would’ve been open two weeks ago if people weren’t TORMENTING him! All this alarm and warden stuff is not good for shop opening. Doc monologues a little bit about his many troubles.

1:34:00 Cleo arrives, greets Doc cheerfully and asks how his broken shop is. Doc asks if Cleo triggered the alarm. Cleo says no, but they could, would Doc like them to right now? Doc says that the alarm is disabled right now; Cleo is disappointed. Ren arrives as well, Doc demands to know what all these Hermits want with him. Cleo confirms that Doc has no safeguards on his shop at all right now. Doc insists that he is going to turn the alarms on before he leaves. Scar feels a little bad for how put-upon Doc is, but it’s also very funny. Cleo critiques Doc’s armor stand work, Ren and Scar critique the fashion choices in his shop. Red and diamond just clashes too badly. Scar compliments Ren’s taxi pants, sort of. Cleo accidentally triggers the machine, which produces a trimmed hat on an armor stand. Cleo is momentarily alarmed, but Doc takes it as an opportunity to show off his machine. The Hermits are impressed! Scar asks if he can give Doc’s machine a bang. Everyone ignores him.

1:36:40 Doc produces an entire example set of armor with the machine. Everyone thinks it is very cool. Doc makes Ren just want to give up and uninstall Minecraft because he can never measure up. Scar compliments Ren’s pants again, and his cool skin, and belatedly his base. He had a great time talking about Star Wars for two hours on stream in Ren’s cockpit! Cleo asks bemusedly whether Ren and Scar ever do anything on their streams. Doc gives up on the conversation and goes to set the alarm as Scar relates an extremely confusing version of his boat-evoker adventures to Ren and Cleo. Ren is temporarily convinced that Scar won a boat race with a vindicator.They eventually figure out what he is talking about and are moderately impressed by his magic-hands-man-wrangling.

1:40:10 Doc comes back and asks everyone to leave the shop, reminding them that it is not open yet. Cleo protests because she really wants to place and break a block to set off the alarm. Scar, who is not paying even a little bit of attention to Doc, fishes around in his ender chest and finds some food to replace what he lost in the evoker chase earlier. He places down his lunchbox and gets some food out of it, then collects it back up. The alarm goes off. Doc moans in agony while Cleo howls with laughter. Scar protests that he just needed some food! Ren suggests that it might be a good idea to get rid of the ender chest in the shop while the alarm is armed. Doc resets the alarm again while the others criticize his alarm system as very bad for business. Doc tells them that the alarm system shouldn’t have to run during opening hours! Scar wonders if there are specific times the shop is open. Ren suggests only when Doc is streaming, Cleo suggests only when the alarm is triggered. Doc chases them out of the shop.

1:42:10 Scar asks again if the shop will ever open. Doc tells him he can’t open the shop because _certain people_ are suing him and he needs to prepare for his lawsuit. Cleo protests that this is not true, they were talking to Joe earlier and he mentioned they’ve done no preparation thus far. Court is tomorrow and apparently Joe and Doc have not talked to one another at all. Doc protests that he tried to talk to Joe yesterday but Joe was drunk because his partner was doing the citizenship test and he was nervous about it. Chat loves this information. Cleo starts laughing and announces that yeah, she ((Joe’s fiancee, BadgerSpanner)) passed and will be in the US in three weeks. Doc says that’s great, but that being too drunk to talk with a client is behavior unbecoming of a lawyer. His only strategy now is to plead the fifth and then let Joe ramble and run Powerpoint presentations until everyone is bored to death and presumably surrenders. Doc turns his attention to Ren and insists that Ren is also at fault because he was summoned via Discord as a witness and didn’t respond. Cleo protests that they did discuss this and Ren doesn’t need to appear if he doesn’t want to.

1:43:40 Ren says he didn’t get a summons, but he was actually hoping to be a witness. Doc says he can be, so long as he speaks in Doc’s favor. Cleo points out that Ren’s testimony is irrelevant to Doc’s stated strategy. Doc counters that because he and Ren are husband and wife, he’s going to use the fact that Ren can’t testify against him. Cleo refuses to believe they are husbands (Chat is a little hung up on the “and wife” part) because there is no documentation signed by Judge Bdubs available. Scar is completely lost and has no idea what is happening. Someone is drunk, someone is becoming a citizen and someone is married, but he can’t figure out who. Ren wants to know if, as Doc’s husband, he can score a front row seat in the courtroom with the lawyers. Cleo and Doc don’t think it works that way, but Scar shakes off his confusion to insist that as the Poe Poe, he can get Ren a prime seat for only ten diamonds.

1:44:40 Doc sighs over how corrupt the judicial system around here has become while Cleo points out that Scar isn’t even going to be there tomorrow. Scar admits he does have an important prior engagement. Doc rants that Hermit society is in a downward spiral, where respectable merchants need to install burglar alarms. Scar turns to look at his own shop, which is of course a massive patch of ground being exploded by a giant smiley face at the moment, and agrees that this is a bad neighborhood. Cleo points out that it’s not all merchants who need burglar alarms, only Doc. Doc points out that maybe when the Ore Snatcher is done snatching ores, he might just start snatching cats from certain cafes. Cleo says that’s fine, and Scar asks Doc if he’s admitting to being the Ore Snatcher. Ren says that the Beacon shop is on the good side of town, where all the Starbucks are.

1:45:20 Scar remembers that there was another suspect that he wanted to discuss with Doc. Doc immediately suggests False, just because she’s flying under everyone’s radar right now. Doc knows what they’ve been discussing; he’s seen transcripts of their whole stream. ((Doc asked on Twitter for a detailed analysis of Cleo’s 6/23 stream, which was helpfully provided by the recapper.)) Cleo has seen those too and thinks it’s weird. ((The recapper resists the urge to hide under the bed forever.)) Scar and Ren tell Doc that they think the culprit is Karin, Doc’s partner. Doc is not receptive to this line of conjecture, but does admit that it is not quite as stupid as the theory that Doc has a split personality and is doing it himself. Cleo says she does not believe it’s a split personality, but that Doc might well steal from himself just to cause drama. Doc is appalled at the very idea that he would do ANYTHING to cause drama. Of course, when 1.21 rolls around it’s going to be a different story, he promises. There will be Hermitcraft meetings with Doc’s behavior as a talking point again, he guarantees it.

1:46:40 Doc and Cleo argue about loopholes and whether or not they work on Hermitcraft. Cleo points out that you cannot have loopholes in a system with no written laws. Scar proudly holds up the Scroll of Scrolls and declares that he does, in fact, has a copy of all written laws plus the progress of the investigation! Cleo and Ren are both interested in hearing this. Scar shakes the scroll a few times and then admits he forgot what they were talking about. Doc makes everyone turn around so he can get into the alarm system again. Nobody turns around. Ren tries to protest that he is Doc’s husband and the most loyal of Hermits. Scar suggests that Ren has spent a lot of time these past few streams talking about how loyal he is. Doc still thinks the culprit is Cub. Cleo says of course the culprit is Cub. Ren says maybe Grian, and Cleo shuts everyone down. They are not spending another stream doing the pointless speculation thing, everyone knows it is Cub and they are all just going to pretend they’ve forgotten.

1:49:40 The sky darkens and Ren pulls out a bed to sleep. Scar claims to have blanked again and not know what they’re talking about, but seems to be using that as an excuse to break the bed under Ren. This of course triggers the alarm again. Cleo and Scar laugh, Ren apologizes, and Doc threatens the life of unspecified parties. Chat loves it. Ren says he has to sleep, and Scar protests it’s just instinct to break a bed. Doc resets the alarm again. Ren promises the never sleep on the stairs again. Doc gets tagged by the Warden. Scar suggests maybe just putting the warden away for awhile. Ren is worried about all the stress his husband is under. Cleo asks if Ren’s considered the possibility of dementia, given that Doc is the oldest hermit. Ren allows that this is true. Doc scolds them all for picking on the elderly (and also Cleo is old too!) Cleo says yes, but not as old as Doc! Doc points out that they all know Scar is 48, which draws immediate, vociferous protest from Scar. ((A ‘famous birthdays’ website once asked Scar to provide his birthdate and when he declined, they just made something up. Scar has been fighting the rumors ever since. The Hermits like to exaggerate even that, since the website claimed that Scar was born in 1982.)) His headphone falls off again.

1:51:50 Cleo asks Scar if he’s really going to tolerate that sort of insult from Doc. They think Scar should go ahead and accuse Doc of ore-snatching right now. Scar thinks about that for a moment and then breaks a sand block. The alarm goes off again. “Don’t call me 48!” he insists over the noise. “Jesus Christ,” Doc mutters and goes to fix the alarm again. He only came online because he wanted to measure the targeting on the new TNT cannon he is designing. Everyone thinks that sounds like fun. Scar and Cleo ask if they can see Doc’s redstone. Scar breaks another block and sets off the alarm for a fourth time just as Doc resurfaces, then says they really probably ought to leave Doc alone. Cleo protests that that’s no fun. Ren wants Doc to know he had nothing to do with any of this. Cleo places a block of polished diorite, then protests that they haven’t done anything since they haven’t actually broken it yet. Scar sees the possibility inherent in this and begs Cleo to put a hat on the goat statue. Preferably a propeller beacon.

1:54:00 Scar asks if everyone has heard the good news of the upcoming popup shop ban, enforced by the will of the Poe Poe and their clock. Cleo has heard of it and compliments Scar on his excellent redstone. Doc points out that his redstone doesn’t actually do anything. Scar tells Doc kindly that it’s ultra-redstone and he wouldn’t understand. Cleo agrees that Scar is operating on a whole other level. Scar tells Doc that he and his Shadow Collective ((a seldom-used channel on Scar’s Discord where he goes for redstone help)) operate in a whole different realm. The Shadow Realm. Doc heaves an incredibly audible sigh. He spent a long time doing incredibly repetitive tasks today and just came on to dig a little hole, but now he is here and it has been an hour and none of them have learned anything but he’s starting to wonder if the Ore Snatcher is just going to troll him by setting off the alarm and leaving. Cleo agrees this is an excellent and easy way to troll.

1:56:00 Ren finds the diamond ore block on top of the shop. Doc has already seen it, but Ren insists that the omission of capital letters is some kind of clue. Doc thinks that the use of glow ink is important. Ren thinks it was Joel. Doc agrees that Joel has a motive, because he got roped into a sand revenge he had no part in earning. Joel believes sand duping is fine, so he should’ve been excluded from revenge, ergo: motive! Cleo wants to make it very clear that Doc is never going to get sand duping. “We’ll see about that,” Doc replies. They relitigate the sand duping issue for a minute, but finally Doc concludes that the culprit is Joel or Cub. “It’s CUB,” Cleo reminds everyone again. Scar insists that he is the investigator and he’ll be doing the finger-pointing here. He did see Cub once pull out an entire box of signs that he uses to place funny signs around for people. The conversation winds around for several more minutes until somehow Doc is arguing that it was Cub and Cleo is arguing that it wasn’t necessarily Cub. It’s starting to get dark again. Cub sleeps through the night.

2:02:30 Despite their best intentions, the Hermits keep speculating about the identity of the Ore Snatcher. Cleo puts forth the idea that it’s a Mission Possible task set by Iskall, and that multiple people are involved. Investigator Scar likes this idea and wants to hear more. Chat is unconvinced by the theory. Cleo thinks there’s a Mission Possible task that is “Take a diamond block from Doc’s redstone, but do it offscreen and secretly” and that several people have gotten it by now. There may also be a task to put diamond blocks back in Doc’s redstone. ((Skizz actually did replace diamond ore as part of an MP task, but the task was “Do a good deed for another Hermit and don’t take credit.)) Doc points out that the Mission Possible tasks tend to be generally wholesome and not all-out griefing, while Ren points out that the purpose of Mission Possible is to generate content, which cannot be done with a mission that must be offscreen and secret. Scar points out that they’ve literally spent several streams doing almost nothing but talking about this, so content accomplished? Chat is pretty sure Iskall has said that no Mission Possible tasks are specifically targeted.

2:03:50 Doc says it’s time for everyone to leave and do the things they need to do. Cleo hasn’t got anything to do, that’s why she’s here. Ren is just waiting for Skizz to get online so he can be deposed ahead of tomorrow’s court case. Scar points out that Skizz’s new skin looks like the Quaker Oats man. Cleo says it’s supposed to be a barrister’s outfit, that barristers and solicitors are British lawyers and they wear little white wigs. Scar asks what the difference is, but Cleo is not sure. Everyone has their own theory on the matter. ((Barristers practice trial law and make court appearances, solicitors handle legal affairs and paperwork matters. Only barristers get to wear white wigs.))

2:05:30 Scar sees a pillager scouting party and considers starting another raid at the sacrificial village. Doc goes to find somewhere to blow up. Scar shakes his head as Doc leaves, saying that he needs to step up his investigations game before Doc loses his mind. Cleo disputes Doc having a mind to lose. Scar tells Ren and Cleo a less convoluted version of his great success with Magic-Hands-Man-wrangling. Ren is impressed. Scar tells him he can catch it on his VODs channel! They go and investigate Jevin’s new head shop. A chatter asks Scar who wrote the notes of mayoral advice that were supposedly from Jellie in Season 7. Scar says of course it was Jellie.

2:07:30 Jevin’s shop is accessed through the dragon’s mouth, which reminds Scar of Disney. Cleo has never been to Disney. Scar remembers that Cleo’s Disney trip was cancelled due to the pandemic. They are both sad about it. Scar sees barrels on the wall with each Hermit’s name on them. He asks what they’re for. “They’re our heads,” Ren explains. “But they’re empty,” Scar protests. Ren says that the prices in the shop are too low, that Jev is only charging one diamond per cat head, for instance. He would charge much more, who wants to kill cats? Cleo, Scar and Chat are all upset. Scar immediately confiscates the two Jellie heads from the box, on the order of the Poe Poe, and announces that Jev is welcome to sue him but he will NOT be selling Jellie heads from that box. Chat is howling for slime.

2:09:20 Cleo raises the half-hearted defense that she doesn’t think Jev probably thought about the fact that he was killing Jellie cats because, well, Jev. Ren is still preoccupied by how little Jevin is charging for various heads, calling them “Season 6 prices.” Scar insists that they need to bring back Season 6 prices. He has only three diamonds. Ren also has zero diamonds. Cleo, who is actively trying to give away some of the many, many diamonds she has earned from her shop, gives Scar four diamond blocks. Scar is happy. Ren suggests they go diamond mining, a very lucrative activity in this version of Minecraft. Scar wants Bdubs to get off the dime and get his lawsuit rolling, because he is owed some serious diamonds by an imaginary man and some snails!

2:10:35 Ren realizes that Scar has a literally mountain made in large part of diamond ore blocks. Scar insists that those are an escrow account, though does not specify to whom or for what reason. Also the mountain has a large hole in it, thanks to those snails! Gem, who is stream sniping, calls it an escargot account. Cleo gives Ren some diamond blocks too. Ren notices the escargot joke and laughs until his eye starts hurting. Scar complains that his ear hurts from the headphones. Cleo yells at him, in a very muted fashion, to get new headphones. Scar cannot hear her because he needs new headphones. In chat, Gem boasts that Ren cannot handle her dad jokes.

2:11:50 The group leaves the head shop, Ren sadly predicting that Jev won’t get good trophies from the shop at these prices. Cleo tells them that she got the 2500 diamond trophy today. Ren experience a moment of disgust at the rampant capitalism until Cleo points out that she _literally just_ gave him a bunch of diamonds. Scar wants to see the trophy. He also wants to know where to sign up for trophies, now that he has a shop. Cleo takes him to sign up for trophies. He is disappointed that Hermits have to pay for his own trophy. He says this is like the time that his brother saved somebody’s life and the Navy told him that if he wanted the medal, he had to pay for it. Chat thinks that is strange because usually service members don’t pay for medals, but Scar promises there’s a story and he will tell Chat later. Cleo and Ren note that Ren’s head is not on the leaderboard yet, he is represented by a squid. Cleo says that’s easy to fix, just put down a bed and she’ll kill him. Scar doesn’t wait for such niceties as spawn-setting and kills Ren in two shots. He says it just felt like the right thing to do.

2:14:00 Ren reports that he is at spawn with nothing. Cleo and Scar collect all his stuff and take it to him. Pearl comments in chat that Spawn isn’t that far from the trophy shop, indicating that she is stream sniping as well. Scar loves Ren’s fancy hat and says it reminds him of Season 7 when he was Mayor Scar. Ren gets killed by Gem. Scar tries to Hotguy Gem, but misses, much to his chagrin. Scar tries to justify a “no thinking, just doing” philosophy as the reason he killed Ren so quickly. Cleo contends that this philosophy is in fact Scar’s problem. Gem puts on a Ren head and jumpscares Scar. Ren reassembles his inventory bit by bit, then stares at Gem to ask why she has to be this way. Cleo says Gem looks beautiful; Ren agrees that Gem looks especially beautiful now. Gem says it’s just the way she is. Ren asks why her head is so _massive._ Gem doesn’t know, it’s Ren’s head. They stand side by size, Gem’s Ren head is much bigger. Ren asks if all Hermit heads do that. Cleo and Scar say yes, but Gem believes there is only one way to find out and kills Scar. They are indeed all the same size.

2:18:00 Scar wants to make it clear that Jellie cat heads are illegal on the server. Cleo asks him not to say that because she always wants to do things that are illegal and she actually has a Jellie cat available. It was in the cat cafe but she took it out and put it in her basement so it wouldn’t make Scar feel bad. Scar doesn’t know how to feel about this, but does feel bad about the poor Jellie in the basement. Cleo protests that Jellie’s in the nice part of the basement. Scar asks for his shovel back, Gem finds it in her inventory and tells him he should name his tools. Scar did name them, but they all broke or fell in lava. That reminds Cleo to ask about whether Scar ever actually finished paying for all the books he took from the shop the other day. Scar gives back all the diamonds that Cleo just gave him. “How many books did you _take?_” she asks, appalled. He reminds her that he lost everything. Cleo takes pity on him and gives him half of the diamonds he just gave her. The group talks a little bit about Scar’s Minecraft face. Ren says it’s very hard to look off to the left and smirk with the right side of the mouth. Cleo can do it. Scar is visibly trying on the facecam. Chat is also trying, with varying results. Scar concludes that it isn’t that difficult and Ren says maybe it’s just him.

2:21:10 Cleo says it’s probably the chocolates. Ren asks if she thinks they’ve done permanent damage. Scar doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Cleo tells the story of the chocolates while Scar plays the Inside Joke horn. Cleo explains that at Christmastime they and Ren were playing Plate Up and Ren mentioned he was hungry and had found some chocolates, did Cleo think they were safe to eat? Cleo said probably yes because chocolate doesn’t really go off, but what Ren did not mention was that these were milk truffles he’d found behind a radiator, behind a cupboard, left by the people who’d had the apartment before him. “And you ATE them?” Scar asks. “They were sealed!” Ren insists. Gem plays the most appropriate “Don’t put that in my mouth” horn ever played. Cleo confirms that Ren did eat them, on camera, and nearly vomited. Ren agrees they were foul. “Oh my god,” says Scar, stunned. “Oh my god,” agrees Gem’s Impulse horn. Gem’s horn game is extremely on point today. Cleo realizes suddenly that she already has four copies of Ren’s head and never needed to kill him in the first place.

2:22:55 Ren tells them all that they are the actual worst humans to ever human. Cleo insists that she is definitely not the worst human, Gem proudly insists that she is. There are several minutes of conversation about Gem’s skin and what Space Buns are. Cleo insists that Gem’s skin’s hair design is called Space Buns but they are completely distinct from and have no relationship to Princess Leia’s hair buns in Star Wars. Scar and Ren cannot comprehend how any hairstyle called “space buns” could not be related to Princess Leia. They eventually agree to disagree, on the theory that Scar and Ren are incapable of understanding things unrelated to Star Wars. ((A cursory internet search indicates that everyone is half-correct, the “Space Buns” hairstyle of two buns in the back two quadrants of the scalp is popular on its own and is not the same as Princess Leia’s famous rolled side buns in Star Wars, but basically every source on the internet agrees that the name was inspired by Princess Leia.))

2:24:40 Scar asks if everyone has seen Ren’s spaceship base. Cleo and Gem have seen it, but they want to see Scar’s base. He leads everyone to the front of the train for a tour and is immediately embarrassed by the oxidation on his portal frame. He keeps meaning to wax that. Scar shares the lore of the Swaggon Inc brand zoo train as it travels the world. Cleo steals a few design ideas along the way. He shows off the carnivore car and Doc, who is now stream sniping, asks if he said carnival car, as in clown train. Scar insists it is not a clown train. Doc giggles. Everyone who saw Scar’s disaster mess of a storage area in the engine is impressed with his new storage car. He leads the way through the turtle and dolphin tank and tells them that when he’s done with his surgery, he and Tango are going to figure out a way to keep dolphins alive. Fifteen dead dolphins is enough. Everyone loves the giraffes. Scar leads the group to a safe distance to show off the villains car and explains his plans for that. Cleo scolds him for Fred’s sorry state of coldness. Gem and Ren agree. Scar is the zookeeper _and_ the police, how can he be torturing animals? Scar shows them the blue parrot tethered to a tree. Cleo tells him he is unconscionable. Gem says she’s going to dinnerbone the bird so it flies upside down and is even worse.

2:35:00 Scar shows off the villains of the villain car, with a bit of mayhem as the result. Turns out the witch has a surprising range with potions, and Magic Hands Man has just been itching to send out more Vex. They retreat to a safe distance and Scar explains his plan for the last, floating car. He shows everyone the back of the train as well, with the elephant and big pumpkin. Scar loses his headset again, then shows everyone the mountain he’s tearing down and Cub’s 44th hideout. Scar and Ren agree that the sign is very similar to the one on the armor trim shop. Cleo, who believes more than anyone that Cub is the culprit, still feels compelled to point out that this is extremely circumstantial evidence indeed. Scar tries to trick Cleo through his death portal but she is wise to his tricks. He goes through the safe bit of the portal and waits to see who follows him. Joe (who was also stream sniping) is under the portal waiting to hit Cleo with a trident, but Cleo doesn’t follow Scar through. Joe models his new courtroom attire of a bright green asymmetric jumpsuit, modeled after the court fashions of Star Trek.

2:42:10 Scar jumps back through the portal to see where everyone else went. Cleo insists they went through the portal and then jumped back when Scar was not there. Scar insists they were not, because he and Joe were on the other side and Joe was showing him his tight but stretchy pants. Cleo though Skizz was bad enough with the wig, but Joe has picked an even weirder outfit for lawyering. Scar points out that it is very on-brand for Star Trek, though. Joe pops through the portal to show Joe his clothes. Ren thinks they’re cool, but that Joe should get a wig too. Joe says he’s channeling the future. Scar suggests going bald entirely. Joe is concerned that if he removed the hair from the Juppet skin, it would be creepy not in the way he wants. Scar asks if Cleo likes Star Trek, Cleo confirms yes, they’ve even gone to conventions and stuff. Scar is thrilled. Apparently it was a Voyager convention specifically, though Cleo doesn’t remember who all the guests were, having been a teenager at the time. Joe can’t believe anyone could ever be so young as to not remember meeting Robert Picardo. Cleo confirms that they did, in fact, meet the Doctor. Joe is very happy.

2:45:00 The group talks for a few minutes about the mysteries and intricacies of the convention circuit, first the Star Trek convention circuit and then the Hermit-related circuit. Joe mentions that he had to pay to fly out to PAX Unplugged last year and talk with Beef about the TCG cards. Scar asks if Joe has revealed his cards, because Joe’s card is one of his favorite. Joe asks to post the link in Scar’s chat. Chat is excited to see it. Scar doesn’t have a link to his own card, but shows a sneak peek on his phone. His card depicts Volleyball Hotguy, shirtless of course. He says Grian said he needs more abs and asks what chat thinks. Chat melts down. Cleo thinks Scar’s card is amazing. It is top abs. Needs more scitties, but the abs are great. Chat melts down harder. Cleo and Scar talk about the time last year when Tumblr created a Scar Minecraft model with truly popped-out pecs, and then did the same thing to Joe. Joe is fine with that. He misses the days when he was in Marine Corps officer training and was, as his friends put it “uncomfortably ripped.” Chat has many feelings about Jitties, and they love Joe’s adorable TCG card.

2:48:20 Skizz signs on so Ren must go, it is time for his deposition. Joe wants to go crash in on Skizz and say hello. Scar thinks that idea is dangerous, they might catch Skizz in a cursing mood again. Ren mentions that the Rendog common dropped today. He has trouble getting the link from Twitter, but one of Scar’s mods drops it into chat for him. Ren points out how it’s awesome that the world behind him is square. Ren takes off and so does Cleo, who has a headache brewing. Scar bids Cleo and Joe goodbye and flies away. He notices that the diamond ore is gone from his rocket chest and lets Doc know that he needs it back, it’s evidence! What he really needs, he decides, is a giant whiteboard to keep track of all the things he needs to keep track of.

2:52:20 Scar has an evoker and that’s great, but what he really wants is to see if he can also get a ravager in a boat. Chat loves that idea. Scar makes some boats and kills another boated bannerman, then goes and triggers another raid. This reminds him that he was talking about his surgery a couple hours ago and he promised Chat the story. He tells it why they fight the raid. In 2021 he got a Psuedomonas infection in his J-tube, which is a slow-moving infection but has a very particular smell and color to it. He went to the ER for it but they didn’t take it seriously. Scar pauses for train talk and a Cleo raid. A chatter tells him he can’t boat a ravager, but other chatters disagree. Scar explains how the untreated infection led to PICC lines and full surgery to replace the tube that involved some complications. This surgery will hopefully finish correcting everything that’s still a problem from back then.

2:56:30 Scar keeps fighting the raid as he talks, popping a totem as he goes. When he had his accident at TwitchCon Las Vegas where he fell and got the concussion, he went to the ER, saw a doctor for about 13 seconds, and got some scans done. The bill for that was $22,000. Chat is appalled. After insurance and everything, they sent a bill to Scar for two cents, which they actually want paid. Scar wants to know if he’s really supposed to send them two cents. The raid ends without a ravager. Everyone is disappointed. Scar hits up a pillager outpost to restart the raid. A chatter suggests sending the hospital a nickle and asking for change. A chatter asks for cat name ideas. Chat has so many ideas.

3:01:00 Scar wants to share some good news he got on Discord. He is halted by a voice chat suggesting he use a credit card to pay the two cents, since it will cost the hospital about 20 times that in processing fees. Scar likes that idea. Scar’s news is from Hoffen, the art books are created and ready to ship within the next couple of weeks! Anyone who ordered a book and has changed their address, now is the time to get that sorted out. Scar bought 24 copies and can’t wait to get them. He has lots of plans for them! A chatter asks if Scar is coming to TwitchCon San Diego, he answers yes. More information will come later, but he has stuff cooking!

3:04:00 Scar fights the new raid and answers chat questions. A chatter immediately gets him on a Disney rant. He finds a ravager and clears the rest of the raid around it. The ravager does not go in the boat after all. It is disappointing, but Scar has a minecart too. He forgets that the minecart has to be moving, but does a very good job kiting the ravager. The fact that he’s still doing his Disney rant and his headset keeps falling off only slows him down a little bit.

3:15:50 A chatter voice-texts to remind Scar to move the minecart. Doc advises him in game chat to build a little circle of track, but Scar is on a Disney roll. He pulls the ravager back to the minecart, gives the cart a hard nudge and captures the ravager quite neatly. Everyone celebrates!

3:19:30 Scar places a little bit of track and then realizes how long it will take to minecart back to his base from here. He decides to release the ravager he just caught and let it chase him all the way home, avoiding Bdubs’ base because it is rude to ravage your friends’ yards. He realizes he can’t nametag the ravager because he has no levels, so it will be a dangerous race back home to keep the ravager from despawning. He accidentally hits the ravager four times with his pick while trying to break the minecart. Doc suggests using an activator rail to pop the ravager out of the minecart without harming it. Scar decides instead to dig a hole under the ravager and break the minecart from beneath, dropping the ravager on his own head. He flees in terror before the ravager can smash him, and the chase is on!

3:21:10 Chat would very much like to see what would happen if Scar took the ravager to Bdubs’ house, but he leads it across the water instead. Ravagers swim very slowly. Ore Mountain comes into silhouette in the distance. Scar talks about the new Monsters park at Universal Studios. He loves it and wants Disney to bring a Villainsland to their parks so much. The ravager remains in hot pursuit, but Scar’s Decked Out skills serve him well.

3:28:30 Scar arrives back at the train but realizes he doesn’t have his stuff ready to hold the ravager at the end of the line. He hastily builds a circle track like Doc suggested and gets the Ravager back into it, then breathes a sigh of relief. The ravager rides the circle track like a very angry teenager on a preschool carousel. It will keep for now.

3:30:00 Scar goes back to studio view and thanks everyone for watching and for all the subs and donos. He doesn’t have his video finished, but hopes to finish it soon after his surgery. It was a fun stream, he enjoyed it a lot! Chat gives him hundreds of good wishes. Scar is so, so close to raiding Tango and ending, but the urge for murder is too strong. Scar drops back into game view and flies wildly across the server. Chat informs him that Tango is ending his stream as well, time is almost up! Chat also reminds Scar that Tango helped him not three hours ago, making Scar hesitate just long enough for Tango to end his stream. Scar lands next to a convenient wildcat, raids into Antfrost and ends his stream.

[bakathief]

I'm a little shy! But I would like to express my amazement and admiration! A while ago I found your Shadow Chase art, I loved it and became a fan, you create very funny stories and your art is beautiful, but that's not the point, I started following you because of that, but then I realized that you have many others projects and You are also very busy with your personal life. My question is how is everything organized and planned to advance a project despite academic/work responsibilities? I've seen that you even have collaborations with others and I keep thinking "this person is great." As a final note, I just want to leave my good wishes and hope you have a nice week. <3

Gosh, so many compliments in one ask, I‘m still a little loss for words. Thank you so much for reading my work and looking into my other projects, collabs and art! I hope you‘ve been enjoying them. ❤️ 

I think there is no denying that I need to organize myself a little bit to make everything work. I think I‘ve always used drawing, especially drawing comics, as a way to breathe and when I started uni I promised myself I would continue drawing somehow. The first semester was hell, but I finished all the way. 💪 And I had the same mindset for working, so when I started this year I was very motivated to draw. Lol I think it also helped that I had several different projects to work on so when I wasn’t in the mood for black and white I would move to something colorful. Comics also offer the possibility to work on different parts. Do I want to work on the story, on the storyboards, on the actual drawings or just editing…? A lot of options. And this is something which I heard on a video on AI but artist and creative people in general don‘t create in other to have more content but to get something out of their head and feel the satisfaction of creating a certain idea and I felt that very much. And then there is the joy of collabs and while there were unfortunately more failed attempts at collabs I’m very glad for those which eventually resulted in great projects. ❤️ I might have to take actual breaks from drawing when I get back to my thesis. I finished all the work but need to write the discussion part and wow, how much I don‘t wanna work on that. 

Currently I use my time on commutes for drawings digitally or making storyboards. In the evening I finish private stuff and when time is left I work on traditional art. Shadow Chase is the only project where I try to have an overview on how many pages I have done and want to finish before the next upload. Other works can usually go up once finished. When I create something for fan projects like zines, bigbangs, etc. I usually just try to finish said project right away. I don‘t like procrastinating (except my thesis I guess) and rather have stuff than can be finished done right away and focus on my other projects again.  Shades of Tourmaline was definitely my biggest collab project yet and with the amount of art planned it took like 3 years to finish because that was something I couldn‘t get done right away. 😂 fortunately clef was very patient with me (and kept me distracted with new collabs, oops). 

The short answer would be I try to draw as much as possible because it is just a lot of fun with the additional bonus of entertaining a few people. ❤️ 

[1moreff-creator]

Thank you DRDT crew!

Even though I’ve only been a fan for a short time compared to others, the amount of love I have for this series is hard to put into words. It has slowly grown to be my favorite DR-related media of all time, for a multitude of reasons. Everything about it is remarkably impressive, and I just wanted to say thank you for bringing us such an amazing experience.

I got into DRDT through Weeby Newz’ streams. I had just finished binge watching her SDRA2 streams, but this “Danganronpa Despair Time” one looked interesting. Especially because I kept seeing a video by Ocean Unknown popping up in my recommended, which said something about “David’s reveal”. So I decided to watch those vods too.

Fast-forward a binge watch, and… I was in love. It didn’t even register how attached I’d gotten to every single character, and how intrigued I was to see how everything would play out.

I absolutely wouldn’t have started a Tumblr blog without DRDT. But now I have, and it’s been one of the most fun experiences I’ve had in fandom. So, from the bottom of my heart:

Thank You!

Thank you for the dedication to do such a long and arduous project!

Thank you for the beautiful art! I’ve always been a fan of DRDT’s unique style, and those animations always take my breath away, no matter how many times I see them.

Thank you for all the amazing characters you’ve brought to life! I love them all so much, I could thank you for each one individually.

… So I will.

•Thank you for Teruko! Because she’s one of my favorite protagonists from anything ever, as her intriguing and complex personality is always a joy to analyze.

Also, uh, thank you for the prosopagnosia rep. I probably have that too, but I would have never found out without DRDT. It really explained a lot about my life, so it can be said this series has changed me forever :D

•Thank you for Xander! It’s refreshing to see a character like him being so important to the story, with so many mysteries still surrounding him!

•Thank you for Charles! Because this nerd is one of the most likable and enjoyable characters I’ve seen in any fangan.

•Thank you for Ace! Because he manages to be both very funny and very interesting and complex whenever needed.

•Thank you for Arei! It’s always nice to see a ‘mean’ character with such well thought out motivations and such drive to change.

•Thank you for Rose! Her attitude always makes me feel calm when I think about her, and I’m really interested in seeing where her character and themes are going to go.

•Thank you for Hu! Another one I’m really intrigued by, I can’t wait to know more about her!

•Thank you for Eden! For showing that even “the nice one” characters can have depth and complexity. Also representation win, the nicest girl ever is a lesbian!

•Thank you for Nico! They are so, so interesting. I feel like I’m overusing the word “intriguing”, but they really are so fun to think about. Also representation win for the enbies! Love to see it.

•Thank you for Whit! Because he’s funny, and interesting, and there’s definitely something wrong with him it’s nice to have a character that doesn’t have any big issues :D

Just kidding! The reason I love DRDT so much is that everyone gets to be a little fucked up, as a treat!

And representation win! The coolest guy ever is bisexual!

•Thank you for J! She’s funny and cool and- you guessed it, intriguing. I am running that word to the ground, but it’s true for everyone!

•Thank you thank you thank you for Veronika!!! She’s so great. She’s fantastic. She always brings a smile to my face, she’s so perfect in every way shape and form. God I love her so much, I want her to go as insane as her crazy little heart desires. And more representation! Sorta jealous of the pansexuals who got this freak (affectionate).

•Thank you for David! How can a character be so complex, that you look at Literature Girl Insane and decide it needs more literary references to properly convey them? Well, David’s the answer, and geez. He’s just so fantastically written, it’s incredible. Another big win for the bisexual community imo.

•Thank you for Levi! He’s really cool, and everything about him is interesting.

•Thank you for Arturo! Because as much of a weirdo as he can be, his entire character is just really, really interesting.

•Thank you for MonoTV! Because it’s funny and its personality has to be one of the most unique I’ve ever seen for mascot characters.

•Thank you for Mai! I mean, who?

•Thank you for Unnamed Classmate! Because they’re really nice and I can’t wait to see where they go.

And of course…

•Thank you, so much, for Min! She may very well be my favorite character from anything ever. Everything about how she’s written is phenomenal, her personality and struggles are so well developed, I could gush about her for hours! She means so much to me, I can’t properly describe how in love I am with her.

Thank you for the laughs! From the arm wrestling scene, Charles getting obliterated by MonoCredits, “milk tastes good”, Teruko tripping over Nico… Not to mention the greatest joke ever conceived: the bathroom investigation. I laughed for a solid minute or two when I first watched it, just replaying the funniest thing ever on loop.

The Q&As were also really funny, and I never really had an issue with the way the were written. I fully understand and support if you decide not to do them ever again, but they were fun while they lasted. From Nico’s favorite ice cream flavor being “the flavor”, to us forgetting people can have friends aside from Mai I mean who, all the way to that time you directed us to inform ourselves on what a pant pocket is.

Thank you for the tears! Because I still can’t watch Min’s final hug without my chest hurting, a lot. Even some of the frames from the Sleepy MV, that beautiful piece of art, get me to tear up just looking at them.

Thank you for the mysteries! From the murders which are really fun to theorize about, to everything related to Mai Akasaki and the multiple source code secrets. And don’t even get me started on the LGI MV, that insanity (affectionate) has been eating at my brain ever since it released. Everything about it is fantastic, even the things we still haven’t solved.

Where’s footnote 8, dev?! Did you put it in your pant pockets?! (/j)

Also, tangentially, thanks for introducing me to the LGI album. It’s a really good album ^^

Thank you for the research you’ve put into everything! Things like Ace’s talent causing his eating disorder are really appreciated, they show a genuine care and love for the project.

Thank you for all the little details you might think no one notices, but that we love to see! Things like the first Nonstop Debate ending in perjury, Teruko listing Xander as one of the people whose secret was unrevealed, David’s eyes being different in his genuine breakdowns to his little thing in Ep 11, strychnine not being listed with the other custom weapons because Charles made the list, the note Xander received having a proper full message which has been obscured (I can only make out “it is” at the bottom, but it’s clear the message is there), the charm on Teruko’s thing-that’s-probably-a-MonoPad-but-may-be-something-else being the same as Unnamed Classmate’s phone charm, all the interesting details in the character profiles, among so many other things.

This also includes details revealed on Q&As. Arei being ambidextrous, Teruko liking “girly” clothing, Xander having a weak sense of taste, Ace having 9 siblings, Veronika’s earring being related to a friend, all the favorite and least favorite colors and ice cream flavors. As well as the few things we know about people like Felicity and Elliot that made the community fall in love with them for no apparent reason. It just makes them all seem so human!

Thank you to the voice actors, as well! They’ve all done such an amazing job, no exceptions! In particular, Veronika’s unhinged laughter, the dialogue after Ace’s almost murder, Min’s last words, David’s speech post the “guilty as charged” incident… but it’s all fantastic, all the characters are voiced really well.

And thank you for so much more! If I kept going, this post would never end. DRDT just means more to me than any finite number of words could ever convey. Without your work, the days pass by tastelessly /ref. So, one last time for the road:

Thank you for everything!

(God I love the Sleepy MV so much. It’s so pretty!!!)

[ngmn2002]

Ch 110: Random Thoughts

Ok, let's go...

ooooh, what a cool face, Tsukasa! ♡ You're so beautiful. Always so enchanting. Captivating boy! ✨

So he was referring to Akane after all.

Uh, strong words coming from Akane to say he will put Tsukasa to justice. Hmm. Nice.

How cheeky. How smug. So full of yourself, huh? ~ What a reallllly good mood you're in. Well, regarding the situation, you're so pleased. Almost getting to finish what you've been after for so long. ~ those who tell Tsukasa to follow their rules have it hard. Not remembering old No.3. lol

I'm done talking about his super speed and powerful SHARP hands. His hands are a weapon alone. OH!

He is wasting no time, right into business at full force. How admirable.

But seriously... the words... oh! He's been growing really smug since ch 91, 92 and now... woooh... one time playing with puzzle pieces and throwing them in the air all gracefully and the other Kaku's gears... this side of his... easy on me...! I get it everything is in the palm of your hand. I get it you're pleased you're almost at the finish line and enjoying your success on getting what you've been working hard and patiently on for long. BUT!! OH! ... even that Tsukasa art with the clock. oh. should I be calling you Mr. cool smug Tsu? ♡ it's impossible not to remember him! OH!

Uhhh... just thinking of Kou threatening little Tsukasa to get at him one day is sooooo funny at this point. You sure you can pull that off? lol

LOVE how this boy aged. From an innocent hum to a REALLY smug, fully in charge and capable one. UH! you want to go after Tsukasa after the scary 'hmm' face he showed you before and after what he did to you after showing it? Have to say you're brave. ~

Speaking of you, shouldn't you really be after someone else by now? If we were to assume Tsukasa hurt your friend, which is a big No-No to you, no one touches your dear friend and gets away with it, after what nat did, how will you react? Go at full force at him, kay? ~ Not to add, that's also the fake 'senpai' who used you in a really ugly way to get what he wants and left you with nothing before. Get a much called for 'revenge' on an ugly target. ~ Let me see you going. ~

You're still on the safe side. You still have time to reconsider, Kou. For your own sake. ^^

Here we go again...

Love how this boy changes from cheerful, playful, carefree… to being deadly serious and focused in like a split moment. He just keeps on switching between the 2 sides. A thing to admire about him. ~

Ahem, he is 'playing' with you Akane. ^^ seriously, he cut Akane's side with his pare hand and drew blood out of him, he crushes metal with them, punches a whole through metal or whatever... his HANDS! what are they made of?! even though I said I won't talk much about his hands.. here we are...

He is having fun. He is enjoying himself. Little smug foxie. ~

The amount of self confidence he has always impresses me. My goodness it's limitless… but this chapter is on another whole level. SO SMUG! I love that mood of his. oooooh SO COOL!!!

To go on and take out parts of Kaku to throw them at Akane. AHAHAHA Wha a cool move! ~ It's hilarious. What a reallllly good mood you're in. do you have a thing against kaku? you're treating him like ruins of the clock.

The punch he gave to Akane's chin, it reminded me of the one Hanako gave to Kou in the pilot. The twins share some moves. cool.

Later on he moved to give Akane a nice spin around, how fun! I hope Akane enjoyed the ride! twister no.4 seems to have given Tsu a fun idea during their chase lol Again, Akane's reaction. Same as the one Hanako made when Teru destroyed the ceiling of the far shore train. Hilarious. Hilarious.

One of Tsukasa's coolest signature moves!!!!! Hits with an iron fist!!!!!

Unbothered Tsuuuu!!!!!! unbudging Tsu!!!! Amazing Tsu!!!!!!

Wooh, I think I need to stop on Akane's words to give Kou some kind of credit.

His unbothered side! Hmm. Even though that happened when Tsukasa was letting his guard down and all... it still counts in a way. The only one to 'graze' almighty Tsukasa so far.

Hmm, wonder if Tsukasa wanted to, he could use Kokujoudai regardless of what Akane did, the one not to be really affected by Mirai's seal, rules in boundaries don't seem to apply to him, hmm...

Who is distracted Akane? Tsukasa wasted no time to go with his signature move while you weren't paying attention to him. He just switches between going easy to serious that's all.

And once more, another Tsukasa signature move. Smashing heads into things. The ground, table, wall..... he is still more gentle than No.6 on the head smashing regard.

It's again, funny, the guys going to call Tsukasa guilty and voice to want to bring him to justice were brought to justice by him on their very court table. One with Tsukasa stepping on it and punching a hole through his chest, the other getting crushed into it. woooh. Tsukasa shows no mercy I see. What a fun court. ~

Seriously, he gave Akane no room to prove himself. It was a one-sided fight. Was it a fight? Half of it Tsukasa was playing.........

Again, he is so fascinated by the insides of other things. Why not tell us what's on the inside of you, Tsukasa? We're fascinated by that, too. Come on. you want to show us that once you're destroyed? while I'm a sobbing mess? How can i see with my sight blurry? ........

Anyway, the insides of Akane is flesh, Tsukasa. So, it's a relief he survived your attack. didn't you notice the blood when you hit his side?

Having Akane freeing Mirai and asking her to run (both for her safety and because she holds the yorishiro, I assume he knows it's there. Even if he didn't before, it's just a fact at that point with Kaku down and him knowing it's not within him), then for her to throw herself in front of him to get the hit instead and protect him with a selfless act. They do care for each other after all. How sweet, despite Akane going they tricked him and he hates supernaturals. He seemed taken aback by what happened to her... falling to his knees checking on her closely maybe?

Even though I don't really care for either Kaku or Mirai so far, I like her gesture with Akane. It was nice to see.

Love how Tsukasa still kept his logo of 'gentle with girls' so far. He got her not on purpose, and the time they fought before too. Still, I assume if he failed with Akane, he will be going for her. Uh......... if that happened I was going to say goodbye to gentle with girls Tsukasa. It was nice to know you. haha.

So, I was thinking for a whole month before the chapter will I go counting triple kill on Tsukasa's list when the chapter is out? It's fun to get it. Even if none of them is really 'over'. I was also hoping to see Tsukasa bloody like the time with No.3, he looked cool back then. Uh, for that to happen it had to be Akane's or Teru's? blood... since the others are just made of gears. But of course, I wouldn't want for Akane to reach that point of being badly wounded... I would be satisfied with a small amount... like if the cut to his side left a bit on Tsukasa's hand... uh... I would pay to be in Hanako's, Nene's, Teru's place or the owls and watch Tsukasa in action and going -far shore No.6 mode but X1000 COOLER like they were doing. Ahahaha, their reactions were so fun. even Teru's was funny.

Turned out the yorishiro is...

Within Mirai like I guessed. ~

And some people go saying Tsukasa killes for fun. Yeah, once his purpose is done, he didn't walk back to Akane, despite his comment on wanting to know what's on the inside of him.

Still, Tsukasa didn't go with the pattern I mentioned. If he did... we wouldn't have had all that fight so... makes sense. and I would have said goodbye to that thing

And, Tsukasa finally got his hands on the yorishiro. Mission accomplished. A yorishiro holding another. No.7's holding No.1's. Amusing. Tsukasa. ~

Though, from all the things, it turned out to be a "key"? I'm so sensitive to that. Come on.

...

Hmm... what meaning could that hold?

I can't help but to go back to the time Tsukasa had Nene going back in time to get Amane's key. And, now we see him holding a key. Something feels fishy. What purpose might the 2? keys serve?

Why did he want Nene to get Amane's key? What purpose does it hold? At this stage with his plan on its final stogies shouldn't what he meant to do with making that happen come to play... with what he meant for Nene to do? What he meant for her to have? Does she still have the key with her at the moment? like... if she was brought back to normal, will it be there in her uniform pocket? Will we finally see it in use?

Hmm, I do wonder what all that Tea-party-Nene plan Tsukasa came with serves.

she seemed to help him together with her servant carry it. So? Did Tsukasa just come to them and told them "hey, we'll do this for a thing I want, nothing on your benefit." and the 2 just agreed? They were active parts of the plan. If it doesn't serve them, if it doesn't mean anything to them, if it even stands in her way if what Nene is supposed to do will turn out to be an obstacle in her way, would she have agreed to help and make her servant help? That feels so unlikely for a supposedly 'careful' evil person as her. What did they want out of that, too?

Did she just go with "it will be my chance to get the naive girl's trust so I can manipulate her easily all I want later on? Sending her servant with her to be her guide and lead her in the nowhere, and maybe to get something out of it... what did it hold?

Was she oblivious to Tsukasa's purpose out of that deal and just carried out with it for her to get the Nene trust thing and for nat to achieve something maybe? .........

Were the 3 working together or did they have goals of their own in there? Are they opposing to the point what Tsukasa wants might step in her and servant's way? Hmmmmmmmmmm..............

Everything in the tea party arc is questionable at this point. Everything in it is just tricky, full of lies, ACTING.

Generally,

What kind of 'trust' do they have in each other? What a 'trio'. Funny. Really funny.

How NOT to be a trio. Hahaha, they aren't together at all. Never have been. ~

Hmm... having this...

What do these smirks hold behind them? What is he after? What are they (SHE) after? Ha, she is even dancing and waving her dress around in there, what is it that really pleasing thing she can't wait to get?

In No.6's case I think it was her want to get rid of Sumire together with setting the stage of getting rid of Tsukasa, too. Someone doesn't seem to have a whole lot of patience. Now, she wants No.1, No.7, No.3 out of the way in one go. How funny. How funny. This rush storm inside of you doesn't show on your face little thing. ~

Uhhhh, what a fake you are. ~ Hmm... even that whole show of "I can't disobey him" you put, is it for real? ~ you've been going your way since the very start and until now. ~ what a thing you are. ~

I wonder... can snakes have the color green? ~

A 'careful' thing like her needs to really be as careful when facing Tsukasa. ~ He is not one to mess with easily. I hope she gets that with her 'he can't see me' or 'things are over now. a "betrayal" is so easy.' ~

Tsukasa dear, you happened to comment on being proud of seeing her going her way back in No.6's case. Do you, also, feel the same way on the other cases? Like now for example? What a magical being you are. ~

He asked her about if she is happy with hurting others and she responded yes, her actions right after that chapter with Nene, Sumire-No.6, this arc with the whole school and Mit 2.0. Clearly she is more than happy. She is going at full force. What a thing. ~ What a thing. ~

Snakes and cats... hmm... has to be the cat to outshine at the end, huh? I just can't wait to see how her deal with Tsukasa will come to an end, especially with little koku being in the mix. I'm so sorry I committed a crime on your side in the past, Tsukasa. I hope you can forgive me.

Seriously, the 4 are funny now. a cat, a green snake, a dog and a puppy. Let me take the cat and puppy and take my leave. ~

Ok, enough of that. Lots of other things to focus on. With the 2 going their (her) way.

So, her dog can wonder around, is it because of her lame gift or because he is special? Not that I care. Nor that I care for his show off in ch 92 or even him in the cover of vol 19. so booooooring.

Uhh, so Nagisa and Tiara are frozen, huh?

That's senpai to you. Who would care to call you that? What a waste. Out of the rare times I wished Mit 2.0 will go with his "you're lame attitude" regarding him and the gift, I didn't get it.

Ok, so he doesn't use his blood ability unless it's really needed as he voiced out before, because it's it makes him feel gross. You already are with or without it, don't be so sad. ~

His speech to Mit 2.0, I wonder if they made that clear to him before or not? From his reaction he feels oblivious to the whole deal. If that was the case, then scolding him like that when you didn't tell him a thing is called hypocrisy, you so lame so UNcool hypocrite.

Ok, so he wouldn't do that to Mit 2.0 without a clear purpose. Is it to force him to create a yorishiro so they can destroy next by putting him in a life threatening situation?

Still gross, considering they only want to destroy it, regardless. Forcing Mit 2.0 to have a thing to care about more than anything, only to destroy it. Meaning they use him like some kind of toy from start to end. They will keep it around until its deal is done to them just to throw it away when it's over. Oh.... wait a sec... a toy...?

Yep, go at the right person at full force, Kou. Go ahead and show me what the whole of "my purpose" speech you gave while looking at Mit's photos mean. Show me where you stand now.

Mit 2.0, I really don't get him or Kou or their deal. At a moment he is all "I gave up, end me" then the other "ok, let's go to the festival"....... both forgot the main issue, the main problem, Mit 2.0's unstable existence. A part of what Mit 2.0/they reached now lies within his/ their ignorance of the situation they are in. So, despite nat's speech being trash, it have a bit of truth within it. Mit 2.0 and Kou could have done better if they just gave things what they are worth, instead of leaving them for who knows when.

So now, Mit 2.0 is in a real 'dying' situation. That will really show his real desire, and prove if his want to "be gone" is really that strong or not. A chance to be gone came to you, Mit 2.0.. will you accept it or resist it? Or will you go "if I'm gone, I want Kou to finish me" like you told him before? Will you end up creating a yorishiro at that point? What might it be? A thing to be your living line and at the same time so precious to you?

As Mit 2.0 peeked into all of his "old self" memories using his mirrors, a thing to be important to his old self, together with him, it's a picture of Kou, might end up becoming his yorishiro? It's in Kou's house though... if we needed a thing within the school, maybe even No.3's boundary... Hmm...

Again, it holds a meaning for both him and his "old self". Kou gave it to him and he held into it thinking of the hell of a time I went with reviewing the chapter, it keeps on showing in his arms then disappearing at a later shot repeatedly!. A moon rock, scissors, skitch book... it holds a potential of having this " 'first' precious gift" in it. The Penguin chain sadly got destroyed so... can it be repaired if he wanted? hmm...

Can it become Kou's lame traffic earing? For fun, both Mit kept commenting on it, it's from Kou, they called him referring to it, old Mit died in a car accident, we got an event of Kou gifting him a traffic earing... and were told in an early chapter it's something 'improtant' to Kou. Imagine that one will be the case. It'll be so funny.

I'm left with these options, I don't really think Mit 2.0 is capable of creating a human yorishiro (make Kou his yorishiro), that seems to be one specific task with specific circumstances I see Mit 2.0 to lack.

Now, thinking of old No.3's yorishiro that's still there. Do we need it or is it just worthless and forgettable like its owner? Seriously, the only character in this story to lack everything including an "existence" is that bird.

Hmm, looking back at Tsukasa's deal with making Mit 2.0 No.3... his speech all along was only directed to that, it's Hanako who went for the "old" yorsirho. .......

From what we heard from nat, it doesn't connect to Mit 2.0 at all.

Uhhh, thinking about Tsukasa making Mit 2.0 and making him stay by making him No.3 and then feeding him so he can keep regenerating, after that Tsukasa? What did you have in mind to do after that? You told him he can become human, he can have his wish, he's kept on living on that hope until his life became hell and jsut wanted to be gone, then kept going once more, you don't lie, right? How do you plan to grant his wish? Take responsibility, Tsukasa. He is not a toy you made to be played with by others. He is a being with feelings, wants and wishes. Either be as responsible to grant his wish, or I don't know.. try to do anything for him for him to reach a stable piece of mind and being. you can't leave him at the middle of the road. I'm sure you won't leave any of your work undone.

So, once Mit 2.0 is a full mystery will he take a new 'complete' form? not that I hold a thing against it but I feel his design in there is a symbolism of many things. some might be Tsukasa codded, even when his yorishiro is destroyed, he'll just lose authority over the boundary... would that mean he is a step toward becoming "human"? From what was said, it seems so. Uh, I see all that thing in lots of ways, one of Mit 2.0 might end up just accepting what he is, now having a stable existence, and give up on that wish. Why did he want to become human to begin with? If he can have that in his life already, is there a need for him to become "human" anymore?

On Tsukasa's side of the wish thing, having Mit crossing to become a full mystery, if we assumed he still wanted to be human, maybe once all Yorishiros are destroyed, if what she said is true..... looking at it in another way than all will be gone... if we reduced this all to the "lines" between life and death... if we assumed the world will be rewritten so the living, the dead (ghosts), supernaturals are equal and can live together... that means Mit 2.0's wish is granted along the way? He can have the life he wants without necessarily becoming human. Is that what he has in mind?

Also, if what she said is really going to happen, will Tsukasa be as pleased to go with it? I mean he goes about the rules, not the beings. It's like he is after rewriting the rules of the world to create and new one where all can be free to be whatever they want, not to blow away everything. How would that be possible with him wanting to grant Amane's wish? In saving Nene's life? And living a real life with her? what wish could he have while gone?

Uh, the whole Nene will die once the yorishiros are destroyed deal too... it feels like once he is gone, she is gone too. 2 in 1. brace yourself Amane. The DOUBLE PIAN you'll get if that were to happen! Boy............. we're similar huh

I mean from what we got so far, Tsukasa doesn't care for his own being, but Nene's life is a part of the deal. A part of Amane's wish. We need to change her fate, don't we? You going this way is clearly the wrong path, Tsukasa. Unless........ you have other things in mind. Regarding Nene's life and the world (maybe even your complicated situation). Things Amane, her and us are oblivious to. I trust you.

You're just playing with our minds and feelings, dear. But I can go with 'wait and see'. Amaze me. ♡

Ok, moving on...

The face of "it's over". ♡ Thanks for all you hard work so far. KEEP it up. *coughing* to hear... Tsukasa referring to himself as "Amane's" yorishiro for the first time ever... uh....

Unlike the time he talked with her... there is a whole 180 between her and Amane's reaction. See who cares for you, dear Tsu. Even when you want to be gone, there are people? not to care and use your want as an easy to achieve step in their happiness plan, and there are people! who can't live without you, ready to pin you down, keep a strong hold around you so you won't leave, you precious boy!

Don't go I want to be gone based on fake illusions in your head. Please realize how much worthy you are. Please unleash this want to stay with Amane you have deep down within you. Please... Amane.... I'm begging you to prove to this boy how irreplicable and precious he is. How your world is just dull without him there. Please Tsukasa... this time get it. Understand him, please.

Nene, please help them both get over this miscommunication issue they have! Help them understand each other! Be the hand to bring them together!

I can't with that...... I just can't.....

Hmm... now.. what am I supposed to get from his talk? Mit 2.0 will make a yorishiro? Won't and that leaves us with No.1's and him? Is he on board with what the 2 went to do with Mit 2.0? ...

It seems they want the 7 yorishiros gone, not only 6. And, it looks like he knows that, too. Hmm...

Well, yes, she said 7. They need to forse Mit 2.0 to make one. It's clear now.

Uhh, now I started to see Tsukasa this arc, no in the entire story as someone trying to live the moment to its fullest before he says his last goodbye. When little, before he got killed, and now... he wanted to do something special before he is gone for good, change Amane's life for the better, give him happiness. A thing to remember him 'foundly' with maybe? Having him wanting to end things with his own hands this arc...... with the last yorishiro.... Amane... Nene... all he did along the way from the very start till now.....

How could he be that good of an actor... or so collected let's say... shows nothing on him... in their birthday before he left... the time he spent after he came back waiting to be killed (not sure about his last year though) ... now... he plays and signs and... oh... how are you doing on the inside, Tsukasa?

If I went please don't leave Tsukasa, will you grant that wish for me?

Teru's internal monologue,

Poor Nene, looking at Akane, keepers having a hard time.

Hmm... I don't get him. At the start of the story he kept on going on how much the 7 mysteries are evil and dangerous, then kept going after evil Hanako, and then... he tells Akane they are needed to 'support' the school and they will be needing No.1 to stand up for 'Tsukasa' turned out Amane took his leave at the end or...? , looking forward to see No.1 really in real action. Having him voicing if the Yorishiros are gone the land? I assume the one of the school will fall down... kinda reminds me of vol. 19's cover... would that be what happens?

The pillars he had at mind almost took the shape of those surrounding the hole in No.6's boundary under the school as I recall it, would it be like... the core of the destruction to come? The hole that links to the far shore as I recall it? Hmm... can we see No.6 in action once more? maybe even all the 7 in one place when that time comes? each pillar looks like this one in Sumire's... uh... sacred shrines... sacrifices... yorishiros... unseating pits of powers to return to an original form of theirs... what a huge thing...

With Nene's supposed 'sealed' fate this thing is doomed to happen......

Speaking of that, how did Teru know Nene's life span and death is directly linked to the yorishiros? Hmm...

The Minamotos have lots of things under their sleeves. while he was talking in depth about No.1, he didn't seem to know much about Tsukasa's position and not to pay attention to her being mentioned before… hmm…

Following the origin of the school, was it built on that same land Sumire's village lies on?

It seems… that land… the red house… school… are all linked.

I mean, we have No.6's boundary being under the school, the hole there that he used to sacrifice Aoi once she fell into it can be linked to that original cliff, having the same thing of: Supernaturals are coming in and attacking the place, let's sacrifice a girl to stop that agenda in Sumire's village, the same thing happened in the school, therefore had No.6 who is an "expert" in dealing with that, used the same agenda. We dealt with the situation the same way. Had the severance happening, similar to the thing in the village, again, with supernaturals stopping coming out for a while. The mess happened out of having almost half of the yorishros gone, the protectors to keep the land safe from that happening.

We see the supernaturals coming from that hole, in No.6's boundary in general, also there in the red house, which is directly linked to the kannagi place.

A 'sealed' well near the 'red house' and Teru saying there is water and all under it… having it connecting to the far shore.

It makes since we're in the same place, land and all.

Having that nat saying to Kou "This guy's been a real thorn in our side. He is been stopping just about every single supernatural that tries to make it to the mortal world... before they even get the chance to wreak havoc there."

Hmm, feels legit connecting it to his old rule, that he still takes on himself as No.6, taking care of the hole/cliff and its supernaturals crossing in.

Hmm, now maybe his disappearance makes sense? He did his last job, got over his duty... he is free to go wherever.

Since he is told the whole system is not needed anymore to protect the mortal world, his rule is over... he'll do just that.

So yes, the school seven mystries - yorishrio system, Sumire's village system... are 2 sides of the same coin, deal with the same thing. One just evolved from the other.

After all, that makes sense why the school is full of supernaturals and all, Mit, etc end up within it.

Ok...

Talking about the keepers...

Could their uselessness come from the destruction of their clock as he put it before lol? Could it be that they don't care to defend their yorishiro or if it's destroyed? Could it be they can't use their time power for some reason? And that feels to not be it for the most part, since Mirai used her time power on Tsukasa and it didn't work, Kaku was taken by surprise and was down, Akane couldn't even turn his head around, the moment he did he was done. Tsukasa is not an opponent to be underestimated.

Their time power seems to take a little time for them to activate once they decide to used, even.

Could they hold up before his speed even for a few seconds just enough for them to activate it? Did they fight knowing it's a lost call? I mean he showed to be faster than the 3 of them to react.

Talking a little more about it,

With Mirai's case, she promised to move his time until he is 'dust', if she had succeeded, that will give a whole different story from how the situation developed. was Amane sure nothing will happen to Tsukasa so he didn't step in? Feels so. He wasn't scared Tsukasa will get it hard once he called his name, it's the opposite. He didn't make a move until Tsukasa said that "me" of his.

Thing is, when Mirai moved Tsukasa's time, did she really touch only the handcuffs and moved their time only or was it something else that its time moved? Hmm... when she moves the time of a 'being' no matter what she touches on them, it will be their time that will move together with these things. With Nene, with Kou he grew up completely in appearance, powers, not only his clothes. Tsukasa... assuming she only touched the handcuffs, they should be the only thing to age but...

Oh? now I see why she is shocked and why he only smirked. Missing with a being of 'his own time' are we? Hmm, it's amazing how there seemed to a somewhat of explosion, a huge flow of power to feel "reflected" once she tried moving his time. Unlike any other case she moved time forward within before, even with Kou it was a small smoke cloud nothing much.

The mystery of the red house... the thing of its own time, own space, own rules, connected to the kannagi place... it was hilarious how Nene came out of one on the taps

Hmm... what's on the inside of you, Tsukasa-kun?

Anyway, so Mirai's power of moving time don't work on him, Akane's of stopping time don't feel to work, the clock didn't affect him how about Akane, and Kaku... if he turned back time without Tsukasa noticing any moment that would feel to work somehow.

Are the keepers just trying to go with the flow so they will "observe", see how things will play out before Kaku finally turns back time so then they can finally get serious? Knowing how things ordinally developed? That feels smart.

Thing is... turning time don't erase the memories of those powerful supernaturals so... Tsukasa will also remember how things went and time was brought back...

Hmm......

... what do the keepers have in mind? It would feel only legit they have something they are plotting.

A thing of wait and see...

Would what Teru mentioned to Akane about Kou come to play soon?

We're dealing a lot with 'time' this arc.

And finally...

Mr. ^_^.

Recalling it, Tsukasa... she never agreed to anything let alone promised anything, you came up with the game and didn't let her even finish her line of "I didn't agree to th-". ^^

Ok... that moment....

...

Uh, have to say it feels cute how Tsukasa was going on a rampage up until it's Amane he's facing. He is just too gentle and "Amane?" ... oh...

And, sure enough, they are back in position, with the knife. What a complete setting.

Seriously, Tsukasa... he loves going and leaving him behind. Yeah, Amane... you have to pin him down to the ground and keep him in place. Nail him with a knife, take a tight grip of his hands, make sure he doesn't escape. Go ahead and be as selfish to even keep him locked in your boundary like a prisoner. Keep a ring around his ankle so he doesn't go far away. If you don't do this, he will keep disappearing because of some illusions in his head.

Uh, just thinking how the rooftop scene summarizes the twins' deal, with Tsukasa being gone for some time, reappearing back suddenly in Amane's life, then after sometime leaves him behind. "See you later". What a game, Tsukasa. Now I see why he pinned Nene down. "Stop leaving me behind. That's enough already. I can't take anymore." Then... the way he ended up against the door, or even the time Akane gave him a speech about what he did... Tsukasa had him hard with his act of "disappearing" to leave him all alone and broken, regardless of how hard he tries to prevent it from happening. ........

"Without you, the world is empty, meaningless. It's just hell."

Take turns. How does it feel? not that I think you didn't take her turn in your past. but still made the decision anyway despite you getting the feeling of being left behind. Just thinking she will forget someday and find happiness in other things. and then got angry at her for doing just the same as you did in your past. Tsukasa's comment was needed, you did the same as her, you gave up on your future and life to supposedly stay with me regardless of me agreeing or not. Even if I wanted you to keep living and chase your dreams and have a future. why can't she do the same as you did. too? you won't accept her noble sacrifice? You're unfair. Amane. You just go with things your way. So selfish. Tsukasa, sorry but... in your case this time I want him to be as selfish. Hold you down and prevent you from sacrificing yourself. Maybe the same also goes for the other one in your past.

Uh, to think that he went to try his best to voice his feelings out to Tsukasa yet all he got was a "so?" ........... 💢

Tsukasa doesn't get his feelings, doesn't want to be saved........

The time Hanako saved him together with Nene, Tsukasa asked about it. Mr. can't talk gave a cold answer, to receive a cold "so" later. Ehhh, who started the mess...

"You were there, too. So might as well save you." - "I won't be able to save you." now imagine how much effort it took him to voice that out after he failed the other time. and Tsukasa... not any of Amane's tries to 'save' you reached you....

??????????

Explain yourself, Amane.

In connection to the 3-loop...

It's twisted how this "what about what a person wants" plays with Tsukasa.

The first time he left Amane without "asking him what he wants", he assumed hearing Amane's speech that's his want/wish and tried making it come true for him. Amane didn't include him in there, so if he is gone it's fine, Amane is happy. In a way, that felt like what Amane wants (unlike Nene who Amane was sure not to want him to 'save' her the way he went).

Then, when 12... I assume influenced by Kou's speech, he made sure to ask Amane to voice what he wants. To choose if he wanted him to stay or disappear. But, Amane stayed silent it seems, making Tsukasa take action. Who knows, maybe once again Amane's lack of answer had him assuming he is "whatever" just like he got when little. He doesn't need him there to be happy. Him coming back home brought Amane misfortune, so he is better off without him. His unworthy little brother. He can be happy having his dreams and future without any care for him, after all... isn't that the reason Tsukasa sacrificed himself in the first place? Until Amane gave up on all that, did what he did so they can be together. Was that what Tsukasa wanted at that point? Or did he want the opposite for Amane? He wanted him to live? Amane went and decided for them both how they will end either way. Uh. Regardless, now it feels Tsukasa at least appropriates Amane's efforts in there? At least he doesn't show to be offended by what happened, he shows to love it? Even when he doesn't understand the message? I don't really follow him there. Maybe it's the fact of he saw Amane not holding back in general and that had him pleased. It's a logo of his. And, he accepted whatever Amane decided with open arms.

And now, it's the same. Tsukasa went with "that's what you want".

He makes decisions based on a "part" of what Amane wants. But, what he really wants is there inside of him. He needs to voice it out for Tsukasa to finally understand it.

Amane tried explaining he doesn't want a wish if it meant he'll disappear... but was met with a "so?" his feelings not reaching his little brother. It seems Tsukasa is still stuck in here... and just had a lag, can't move past that.

So, Tsukasa needs him to say it clearly. "I love you. I don't want you to disappear. I want you to say by my side."

If Amane did... would he reconsider....?

Will Amane's feelings finally reach him? Will they get past their miscommunication issue? Will they finally start to understand each other a little?

Hmm... from what does Amane really want to save Tsukasa??? What does he have in mind??? If I were to tell him to take a first step in saving him, it would be to start with Tsukasa himself, save him from himself, save him from the illusions inside his head, save him from his self-doubt, worth issues that come from within him. Then, move on to the surroundings.

Why can't Tsukasa really see your love or understand any of your efforts? A part lies within your lack of putting your feelings into words and maybe also, it comes from deep within Tsukasa himself. He is so self-defeated, fast to give up on himself, he doesn't see how amazing or precious he his. He is fast to see himself in the wrong image. Which is so saaaaad. How is he supposed to believe someone really loves him? For what? You love worthless me? Can't be. Why? If anything, you must be in love with a false image you made of me. I'm not how you see me. You care for me because you're my older brother. It's a given. It's like a duty. You care for little brother. Do you care for 'Tsukasa'?

I see before Tsukasa gets to understand the love of anyone else, he needs to love himself first. How are you supposed to see the love of others when you lack self-love? When you're full of self-doubts?

Save him from that, Amane.

Before you ask even though he doesn't really, he is that selfless. if Amane hates him it's fine what matters is that he loves him and ready to do anything for him and his wishes and happiness for anyone's love, you need to start with loving yourself, accept yourself. Do you do, Tsukasa? If you don't, how is it possible for you to see, accept other's love or even understand it?

Before Hanako or even Nene try to help you, the change starts from within you. Start with changing the way you see yourself and feel about things, so you can move a step forward. Otherwise you'll keep stuck in the same place.

How do you see yourself Tsukasa? How do you feel about yourself? Please show me.

Goodness, doesn't this issue exist within both twins? Amane, too... struggles with accepting love and has self-respect issues. Both of them need help. Both need to be saved. Nene, too... at times... anyone to love me is fine..... I just want to feel loved......... ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Their story is just tragic. One sees himself as really unwanted by whoever, not important in his twin's life and he is happy without him, even if he wanted to be with him he lacks the courage to do so, seeing he won't do right by his side, therefore keeps going with 'disappearing' from his life not finding the reason to stay anyway, can't get any signal his twin sends him to show the opposite, he wants to hear him tell his feelings, what he really wants, while the other struggles with that specific thing. Both are suffering. The one who rejects and the one who is rejected.

Tsukasa is miserable, Amane is miserable. Both are miserable. How many tears will they have me shed until they are happy?

One insists on leaving, the other tries with all his might to keep him in place.

Uhhh... how does it feel trying with all your might to have your moon not to disappear beyond the clouds so you can see him always?

Your beautiful unreachable moon... a thing to gaze at the grace of from afar, try so hard to catch. Make it all your. Your purpose. Steal the moon, Amane. Never let it go. You can do it.

How does it feel for you to be looking at your most precious moon in the eye, only to tell him I hate you. Oh...

A "I hate you" that holds I hate how you always go this way, how you're so fast to decide to give up on yourself, on us, disappear from my life to fill it with darkness and shatter my heart then come back to it to give it a light of hope and give my aching heat a chance of healing by having you close, then try to leave me again and again. It's painful to be left behind over and over again. I can't keep living with that. No matter how hard I try to keep you with me you insist on leaving, my feelings can't reach you no matter what I do. You keep rejecting all my efforts, refuse to understand my feelings. I don't get you. Stupid Tsukasa. You're so unfair. This side of yours, the way you decide things in this matter, this repetitive attitude of yours. I hate it so much. I don't want to play this game of hide and seek any longer. I hate it.

- let's play together like we used to? You said?

I don't want to play that kind of game. I'm sick of it.

If you love me, stop disappearing and leaving me behind. I don't want that. I love you, that's why I want to be with you. I want you here, with me. Always. Forever and ever.

How can Tsukasa see and understand Mitsuba's wish, his deal with Kou, if you're alike you can stay together forever, that's just a copy paste from his and Amane's, but can't understand theirs? Tsukasa.........

Why not shout all these out loud Amane? Might help you both.

He believes with the path he is taking, he is doing the right thing for your sake. Prove the opposite to him so finally we can have the 2 of you shine together.

All there is between you is pure love. Give it the chance to come out and see the light of day. Starting with gentle words coming out from deep down your hearts.

With the right amount of courage, determination, it will shine brighter the stars in the sky one day.

.

.

.

The twins. They are a lot. One powerful force.

May they reach their happy solvation.

****

What a chapter...

As per usual, I might be adding more stuff later.

Thanks for reading.

[giggly-squiggily]

squiggily i love you you're the bestest pal forever and my requests are always open for you 🩷

requesssst... i NEED lee!eizen, it's not even funny anymore 😭 it's such a standard scenario but how about eizen has just been ranked as number one (idk how old he would've been, just at some point pre canon 💀) and he starts overworking himself because he gets a little paranoid over losing the top spot which concerns shion who then decides to get eizen to chill out a bit, no matter what (and maybe genji if you want to add him but feel free to leave him out if two characters is easier ^^)

again THANK YOU for inviting me, you're amazing and ily

Rey you are an absolute blessing! This was so freaking fun to write AHH! I love me some Lee!Eizen; it's not something I usually write but after this he's definitely up there as characters I need to write more of! :D I hope you like it, friend!

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@cupcake-spice13 @rachi-roo @thatbigbisexual29 (thought of you while writing this hehe)

It took many years, endless hard work, and a lifetime’s amount of patience, but he was here. Top of the Asaemon, he took a vow to continue to work his predecessors left behind and carry on the good name of the Yamada Clan.

Even if that meant working twice- no, three times as hard as they have before. He would not let this decision be in vain.

“There he goes again, throwing himself into his work..” Genji sighed with a shake of his head, folding his large arms across his chest with a small tsk. “I respect the dedication, but even the best samurai take breaks.”

“I agree. Though you know how Eizen is.” Shion recalled, folding his own hands into the sleeves with a furrowed brow. “When he sets his mind to something, there’s no stopping him.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” Shion didn’t need eyes to know the older man was smirking. He didn’t need them when he smacked him lightly either.

“Hush.” Shion scolded him gently, unable to deny it. They’ve always been hard workesr, even when they were first starting out in the clan., However- he eventually outgrew his habit of overdoing it- something Eizen still seemed to struggle with. Shion could count the amount of times he and Jikka dragged him home after he trained so hard he couldn’t use his legs any longer- a matter the redhead made them swear to secrecy.

Genji hummed, turning to leave while Shion was lost in thought. “I’ll leave him to you? If you need me, I can assist.”

“There’s no need. I’ll see to him.” Shion smiled, grinning when he heard Genji groan on his way out.

He could hear the laugh in his tone. It was nice to know his jokes landed.

~~~

Eizen laid his aching head in ink stained hands, letting out a low sigh that rattled his bones. He was so, so tired. Between working with new students and old, extensive recordings he needed to read and sign off, and the self-imposed training regime he set for himself, he was rather exhausted. All he wanted to do was have a cup of tea, visit the nearby shrine, and stare out into the sun rising horizon. Maybe he’d invite Jikka and Shion; just like they used to when they were kids.

Something warm and fragrant pulled him from his thoughts. A cup of tea, manifested. He blinked in surprise before following the hand it was attached to, eyes landing on the familiar face. “Thank you, Shion. This is much appreciated.”

“Of course. I even seeked out your preferred blend.” Shion folded his arms as Eizen took a sip, brows furrowing. “Eizen, when was the last time you took a break?”

Silence. The sipping stopped, as did Eizen. The redhead dared another peek, finding Shion frowning. “Don’t lie to me, either. I can see it on the tip of your tongue.”

“Ever a joker.” Eizen shook his head as he turned to face Shion properly. “I can’t stop right now, Shion. There’s so much to do; if I fall behind even a bit-”

“You’ll come back. Like you always do.” Shion’s gentle but firm words cut him off as he took a seat across from him. “You're a hard worker, Eizen. Even before you became the highest ranked. It’s something I’ve admired about you for a long time.”

“You're kind.” Eizen nodded, wincing some. He’s sat through enough of Shion’s lectures to know where this was going.

“But you concern me- especially now. You’ll find yourself knocking on death’s door if you keep this up.” He tilted his head low, brows low for added seriousness. “And I’d rather my dear friends not die before me.”

Eizen had nothing to say to that, for he knew all his answers wouldn’t be ones Shion wanted to hear. He stared down at the warm tea in his mug, finding the distorted reflexion unsettling. He looked tired- and perhaps thinner? He wasn’t missing meals- though they have been getting smaller and quicker than before…

He looked back up at Shion, the words stuck in his throat at that deadly serious face. A part of him wanted to give in. Put aside scrolls and swords and breathe. Shion wouldn’t look so sad then.

But…

“I’m sorry.” He bowed his head, unable to face his deep frown. He felt like a child in the face of his master. How shameful.

“No, I should apologize.” What? Eizen looked up-

Then he was blinded.

“Shion!” He yelped when the other man attacked, knocking his tea out of the way and wrestling him to the ground. His foot kicked the table over, sending scrolls and ink everywhere. “Shion, this is ridiculous!”

“Yes- I suppose it’s a rather childish sight.” Shion was smiling again, grabbing at Eizen’s wrists as he positioned himself across his lap. “But when it comes to a hurricane, one must go for the eye of the storm.”

“That last one wasn’t even a blind joke!” The redhead grunted, tugging at his entrapment. Shion was strong as ever, much to his annoyance. “Let me up, we’re both too old for this.”

“Age is irrelevant here.”

“You’re acting like a child!”

“You’re acting rather stubborn. Who’s the child here?” Shion’s grin made Eizen blush and advert his gaze. “Since you’re too blind to see the error of your ways, I’ll just have to show you the path.”

“Don’t you da-Are!” Eizen gritted his teeth at the touch to his ribs, fingers sharp and precise. Just a small, little poke; yet it felt as if he was swarmed by bees. Tickly bees. “Shion!”

“Yes?” The blind man asked, poking him again. The redhead grunted, his body rebelling against him. “You sound tense. What’s wrong?”

“You know what’s-ermph!” Eizen shuddered all over when Shion used both his hands, twisting his index fingers into both sides of his waist. “St-Stohop that! Cea-ase this behavior imediahahahtly!”

“Ah, finally starting to see the light.” Shion smiled, feeling Eizen grab loosely at his wrist, shaking with suppressed giggles. “There’s no point trying to fight it. Just let go.” He added additional fingers, kneading along Eizen’s waist. “Give in to the first breath of laughter.”

Eizen would have punched him if he weren’t fighting for his life. Teeth gritted so hard he was sure he was bleeding, he tugged at his entrapped wrists with all the power of an Asaemon. Unfortunately for him, Shion’s earlier words came to haunt him. He was far too tired to pull away. “Shion, you damn ba-Gahahhahaa!”

“Oh?” Shion asked, fingers prodding along his ribs in a deviously familiar gesture. “Was that a laugh?”

“Shuhuhuhush! Stohohohop thihihis iihihiemehehehdiately!” His struggles grew, but Eizen still had no real strength to break free. Laughter bubbled up and over his lips, filling the once quiet room with its light sound. “Shihiihihihon!”

The blind man laughed alongside him, dancing his hand from one side to the other as Eizen squirmed. He eventually kept his hands on the center set of his ribs, the spot provided a slightly higher octave of laughter. “Seems you're still as ticklish as you were when we were young. Good to know.”

“Dohohohoohn’t you dahhahahre brihihihng that uuhuhuhp! Gehahahahah, you sohohoohn of a- Aheahhahahahahha!” Eizen managed to wiggle a hand free, swinging it at Shion’s arm as if it’d do anything. Taking this as a good sign, Shion released both wrists before attacking the dreaded spot on each side of his torso. That got him bad. “Gehahhahahahaha nohohohohohohohoohoho!”

“Hmhmhm, is it truly that bad? You haven’t changed one bit. Say, are you still ticklish here?” Shion dived his hands upward and into Eizen’s armpits just to see what would happen.

“GHHAHAH! ZZZFT!”

“Did you just snort?” Shion was utterly shocked. Eizen looked just as startled, briefly pausing his laughter at the silly sound.

“Shion- Shion don’t you dare-GHEHAHAHAH! EHAHAHH ZZZFT! ZZZPT GHEHAHAHHA!” He flailed backwards when those dastardly fingers attacked again, staying right within the sensitive spots beneath his arms. More giggles and snorts mixed with shouts and swears; Eizen was grateful he lived far enough from the clan’s main manor. The idea of his students even HEARING him in such a state was enough to make his face burn. “WOHOHOHOULD YOHOOHOHU KNOHOHOOCK THIIHIHS OHOOHOHOFF?”

“Are you going to stop overworking yourself?” Shion asked, brow raised. “Or at the very least, are you going to take more breaks?”

“YEHHEHES, YEHHEHHS! ZZZPHT GEHAHHA I PROHHOMISE!”

“Do you swear?”

“I SWEAHHAHAHR, I SWEHHAHAHAR!”

“..Do you like my puns?”

“SHIHIHION!” With a devious giggle, the blind man pulled back- sitting on his knees while Eizen gasped for air. Free from his clutches, the redhead twisted to his side, coughing roughly through the remaining snorts and giggles. Shion’s hand on his back was welcomed- if not a bit reluctantly. “Yohohour a dehehvil!”

“And you’re stubborn. But we make it work.” Shion patted him a few times before bringing back the tea, listening for Eizen’s sips. After he felt the cup return to him, he leaned back and nodded. “Feel better?”

“Heh..heheh..depends on what you mehehan..” Eizen forced himself to face him, pushing a hand through his fringe. “If you mean physically- I feel exhausted. I was already rather tired before, but then you showed up and took the last ounce of strength I had.” He glared, softening at Shion’s quirked lips. “Ah…I’ve made your point.”

“I’m glad you see things my way.” Shion chuckled. Eizen rolled his good eye with a good natured laugh.

“Fine. You win- I do feel better mentally. My head was starting to hurt from all that paperwork. I guess…I should take a rest now and again.” He looked out at his scattered scrolls, some smudged with ink and others crumbled in places. His brow furrowed. There was still so much…

“We’ll help you. I’m not much for paperwork, but I can take some of the training days off your hands. Jikka can help with this.” Shion gestured to the scrolls. “It’d be good for him to have something to do. He’s dangerous with time on his hands.”

When Eizen still seemed hesitant, Shion patted his wrist. “You do realize that just because you're our highest ranked doesn’t mean the weight of it all falls to you alone, yes? We’re all here for you. You don’t need to do everything by yourself to prove your rank is deserved.”

The redhead sucked in a sharp breath, Shion’s words hitting straight to the matter. He...really was doing that, wasn’t he? Whether he realized it or not. How shameful.

Yet, despite the effect his words had, Shion was kind. He always was, really. Eizen put a hand on top of his, nodding to the other man. “You’re right. I apologize for my behavior. I’ll take better care of myself and rely on you all more.”

Shion nodded, satisfied. “Good. Now- tomorrow is a day off. We’re going to the shrines.”

“It is?” Eizen hadn’t heard anything of the sort.

“For us, yes. Genji will be training the students. We’re going to visit that shrine nearby.” Shion held his chin, a pun loaded. “I’ve got quite the eye for such architecture.”

Eizen swatted at him gently, shaking his head. He was laughing though.

Thanks for reading!

[dylan-the-gay]

Happy new year to two of my mutuals

(ik is almost like day two but i am sick so i sleeped)

@gender-mailman my second ever mutual but as my first is like deactivated, you are my first!!, I don't remeber well but you are the people who i still talk since i started using Tumblr to today! You are extremely nice and I think about at least once everyday and i consider you my best friend, i am not good with text and saying my emotions, but i think i should let you know, U cool and i love u/p

Hearts make me remember you

@local-yurei Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! To be honest we don't talk the amount i want to, but you are still a amazing friend, and i talk to you more then i talk to a lot of mutuals, you are nice, funny and cool! All the talks we had on private messages was fun even if i was kinda nervous, i laugh everytime we reblog eachother on Tumblr and i have a great time everytime it happens :3 you are cool and i love you/p

I re use lots of words but i tried my best! Love you both <3/p

[greatwesternway]

What do engines enjoy doing? I assume that being Useful is at the top of the list, but are there things they like participating in during their off time?

Engines mostly enjoy sitting around and chatting with each other. This is what they did in their downtime during their service lives and it's what they do in their respective yards at their museums now. 999 especially likes a good gossip session. Between her, Pioneer, and U-505, they have enough stories to tell over and over that they never get dull.

In our next year of letters, Pioneer does start developing an interest in what goes on indoors at the MSI. This is mostly for Pilot's benefit (and because Pioneer's yard doesn't change enough on its own to match the amount of stuff Pilot relates about the IRM's doings), but it ultimately makes him better at his job if he can recommend something for a visitor to see when they go back inside. So being Useful, yes.

U-505 and Pilot both have a bit of affinity for learning new vocabulary. Pilot does it because it endears him to Venus (the source of most of his big words) and makes him feel a little less like a hayseed compared to Pioneer, whose service life involved a lot of standing there while people waxed poetic about him in speeches. U-505 does it because his guides think it's funny (and the steam engines do not!), so he's willing to indulge them in the joke.

Humanized engines have a bit more latitude, obviously, but the vast majority of them don't really pick up hobbies or anything. Ray mentioned disc golf at the IRM, but that's a minority of engines who'd participate. There's some passive interest in following people sports. Pioneer and Pilot keep track of baseball, if only because it was brought to their attention that they were supposed to like different teams based on where they live. But again, this goes back to just doing things because people like it. Do they really care about baseball? Not really, but they wear the colors when asked and keep current on the scores.

Most of the rest of the IRM's engines are content to chill in their berths and shoot the shit with each other or nap. 2903 is big (oi oi oi) on napping.

In the 90's, when Pilot starts having offsite excursions and 2903 is moved to the IRM, our engines also start visiting each others' museums. Mostly to actually visit each other, but also it's just fun to see each other working and get a taste of a different venue. Pioneer's and Pilot's work duties are similar in a lot of ways and yet very different. The atmosphere of the museums and the expectation the guests have respectively change the way both of them approach the job. But you never know if you might learn something you can take back to your own museum.

Engines - though they don't need to - will eat for fun. This pastime is a lot more popular at the MSI than the IRM (iykyk), but IRM engines have been known to enjoy sodas together. It's also almost never done alone because the eating is obviously not the point; it's a social activity.

Most of the MSI's engines also like watching films in the Dome Theater. They'll watch whatever is playing, but the nature documentaries tend to get the most repeated viewings. Aside from seeing amazing shit in a panoramic view, this activity is also nice because it's a break from constantly talking to each other.

MSI engines enjoy visiting the museum's other exhibits and learning the same things the people do too. There's so much more than just the engines themselves there (which is why this is not really done at the IRM) and while most engines are not really curious about things, the MSI is inviting in a way that even engines who have lived there for decades can't help be drawn in. You could live there that long and still find new things to appreciate about the Jollyball or the Fairy Castle, for instance. Certain planes still haven't found all the hidden objects in the I Spy exhibit (but only because certain planes have no patience or attention span).

[bdzonthareel]

Barbie

When I first heard about a Barbie movie, I like many people rolled their eyes at the very thought of it. Barbie media has often (at times unfairly) lambasted for being a cash grab and that was my initial reaction, however we I heard that Margot Robbie was involved and her production company was fitting the bill, my interest was piqued. So without further ado, (and I never thought I would ever say these words) let’s talk about Barbie!

We’re introduced to the fictional world of Barbieland, where every concept of Barbie exists and lives in perfect harmony with a respective Ken, and Allan (there’s only one of him.) But the harmony is disrupted when Robbie’s Stereotypical Barbie begins to suffer from an existential crisis and in order for her to fix what’s wrong she must go to the real world and meet the girl who is playing with her and figure out what’s wrong.

In all genres of entertainment, comedy is one of those that I am insanely harsh on, as comedian myself I feel like there should be a flow to long form story, especially in comedy. But I can say that Director and co-screenwriter Greta Gerwig created a work that was heartfelt and hilarious in this film.

The cinematography is nothing short of brilliant, lots and lots of pink paint was used to bring Barbieland to life and it felt like one massive play set. And the various Real World shots were not to be out done giving off a stark contrast to each other.

The soundtrack was a delightful mix of classic top 40s, newer hits and self-aware comedic songs. The score was equally light poppy and fun, composers (pop music legend) Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt brought an amazing upbeat energy to this film.

Co-writer Noah Baumbach, helped with some very well-timed jokes, and you know they worked because they triggered a metric ton of incels, and that alone was worth the price of admission. Together with Gerwig, I was throughly impressed with the amount of meta commentary on display, and despite what some might lead you to believe, the film doesn’t demonize men; the film’s message is far more complex than that. I also appreciate the fact that they made the movie about the titular character, with seems to be something that franchises like Transformers can’t seem to get right.

And the performances were hilariously well done, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gossling have great chemistry as they lampoon the ideas of these characters’ roles. Simu Liu, is amazing versatile and brings the same amazing timing that he brought to Kim’s Convenience and it was delightful. Although my favorite Barbies were Issa Rei as President Barbie and Sharon Rooney as Lawyer Barbie. And I would be remised to ignore Hari Nef whose Doctor Barbie was whimsical and charming, Also since I’m madly in love with Alexandra Shipp I can say that she another of my favorite parts. America Ferreira and Ariana Greenblat served as great moral support for the various inhabitants of Barbieland and then there Will Ferrell I was almost convinced was Ken at one point given his goofball behavior. I also enjoyed seeing Rhea Pearlman as one (spoilers), she just gets better with age. Kate McKinnon really went all in as Weird Barbie as did Michael Cera as Allan (easily my favorite character in the film.) And last but certainly NOT least, Dame Hellen Mirren as the narrator brought a nice touch of her

Barbie was more than what I and many others initially expected, it was packaged as a goofball fish-out-of-water comedy which is a tired cliché in its own right, I sat down on this for a good while before writing this and I feel like its one of the best comedies I have seen in a very long time. It was very funny, but it also had a lot to say about growing up, holding on to thing that we love, and letting go of them. The biggest message that we all have to find our own way, because we are all more than just an idea and life doesn’t exist in just a straight line and at the end of the day isn’t that what it means to be human?

I give Barbie a well-deserved, 5 out of 5.

[writing-astrid]

midnight feelings

pairing: choi san!nurse x mora (y/n)!college student

word count: 10.6k

summary: both invited to the same party in the changing march, mora meets san—a nurse that also lacks of rhythm to dance—at midnight and under the dim shaft the kitchen light casts on them. it is almost instant their connection, their desire for each other, but mora is experiencing this lust for the first time in her life with this unknown guy, so it would be correct if she follows her instincts?

a/n: welp, hey, there. this is me coming for the first time with an original fanfic, starring none less than one of the demonteez line yet being the sunshine he is, obviously our guy san. hope you enjoy it! lit spent 9 months writing this and i finally could finished it.

don't forget to like and comment! they are much appreciated xoxo

_________________

It was late at night. Saturday was minutes to be history, and I was in my second beer. Chatter came from everywhere, music filling the March breeze running through the house I was in. Lights were off except from the one in the kitchen and the patio. Bad Bunny was on the speaker, and the dancing people were chorusing him. Even I joined them sometimes while standing there, in the limbo between the kitchen and the dining room, holding my beer, careful not to warm it up. The mood was nice and my girlfriends seemed to be enjoying themselves too.

Although they were also shy and not that drunk to be in the middle of the living room dancing with the many faces I’d seen in past parties. The three of us glimpsed at each other before lifting the bottles to our lips. Cami was in her third drink; Niki also in her second—she had bought like four Strongbows and it looked like they were soon to be gone.

“Faster!” Cami addressed me. I looked up at her. “Chug it down!”

I laughed. “One of us has to remove the makeup of the three.”

“None of us will!” Niki corrected. A fun spark crossed through her eyes, and I knew she was joking by seeing how her blue lips showed her flashy, perfect set of teeth. “But seriously, though. Enjoy the night. It’s been a heck of a week.”

“And it’s not even midnight.” Cami made a funny face before taking one more sip. I laughed again and imitated her. The cold liquid made it through the throats when another bop was being played on the speaker. Rompe by Daddy Yankee rumbled on the walls of the living room. Every single soul in the whole property screamed, immediately chanting the catchy beginning.

A circle was made where more people stepped into the darkness of the room to twerk—whether against a partner or down the floor, hard—and sing-slash-shout with no fear of losing a lung. Niki, Cami and I stayed behind like three static security cameras, drinking in their excitement with grins. The amount of people surrounding us flushed our cheeks.

“Holy shit, that’s sick!” exclaimed over the noise a guy on my left. Since I hadn’t noticed his presence, I was oddly amazed to find he was closer to me than what I’d thought. His smile widened to one side as he glanced at the three of us.

Dim light from the kitchen hit his profile, since he was half-facing us. A breath of mine joined the atmosphere when the clothes involving our arms brushed.

“Wish I could twerk like him, but the body Jesus gave just knows how to stand still like this,” he continued. His voice was a few decibels louder than the new verse of the song.

Not knowing which of us he was regarding, I answered, “All mortals like us can do is watch them and steal some of their energy.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, so you don’t dance either?”

“Can’t,” I clarified and deviated my sight from him to the dance floor. But now I knew I couldn’t easily forget his long eyelashes. “My parents didn’t program me to have rhythm when they created me.”

His body prompted toward me, finishing the connection his back had with the wallpaper. Lifted up a hand, eyes on me. Whoever this guy was wouldn’t need to say another word for me to high-five him. His skin warmed our touch.

“They used to tell me a bedtime story about why San—me—couldn’t dance at all. Spoiler alert: the stork that brought me to their garden wasn’t used to dance either.” The tone in his amiable voice made me laugh. The joke coming from his mouth sounded so funny to my relaxed system. “But hey, this isn’t fair. You already know my name. What’s yours?”

This wasn’t the moment to roll my eyes, not when I wasn’t even bothered to play along and follow the path San began to walk in. It actually caused a nice sensation in my insides.

Could’ve been the beers? I wouldn’t know.

“I’m”—I gave a step closer to him and tiptoed. The music boomed against every wall in the house and my voice was a small piece compared to it—“Mora!”

Feeling ashamed, because I practically yelled to his ear, I returned back quickly. I hadn’t expected what he did once I looked up again, though.

He had his lips pursed in a contained smile. Within one of my heavy breaths, he seized the opportunity and bent over my shoulder. “Mora? Isn’t that the Spanish word for ‘berry’?” The words got caught up in my throat, so I nodded. Jesus, his perfume suited him. “What a pretty name. It matches your lipstick.”

I shouldn’t have patted myself mentally for choosing the lost purple lipstick from the drawer.

But I did. I was elated I had.

“Thank you,” I whispered. My attention fell on my friends when they mouthed they’d go to the restroom; I signaled them a thumb up. “My parents were going to name me Monet, but I much prefer Mora.”

I gestured to him to move from where we were, back to the limbo I’d been standing at, where we could talk better.

“That’s because you’re accustomed to it by now. You would’ve said the same thing at some point in your life if your name had been Monet.” He pinched his lower lip with two fingers, as though it was a habit when thinking. “So, Mora, how did you know of this party?”

This time I did roll my eyes.

With a fucking smile on my face. “The host is my friend. You?”

“Same,” he said, his tongue catching and moistening that exact lip. “Though I heard of the party an hour ago or so. Lily invited us at the last minute.”

I went back to leaning on the wall, my eyes shifting from his to the dancefloor and vice versa. The person controlling the playlist really wanted everyone to move. “I’m not surprised.” I laughed with the mouth of the bottle between my lips. “If you’re friends with her, you may know how distracted she can be. I’m not blaming her, though!” I added immediately, before drinking another sip. “She has a lot in her mind with med school already.”

A brow arched above his wooden eyes and then exhaled. “Those good ol’ days. I graduated in December and damn, this ain’t no better than what I’d anticipated.”

“You’re already working?” I asked as I realized I had no clue what he could've specialized in. We were at a party hosted by a future doctor, but I wasn’t studying this and I couldn’t tell by just looking at him. It almost felt like guessing his name.

If he hadn’t told me, I would’ve named him Diego. That dark brown hair and wooden eyes gave off a Diego vibe. Or perhaps I was projecting one of my recent crushes on this San guy.

Both of them had been attractive to me the moment I paid attention to their presence near me. This is a secret, so keep it, please.

“What did you major in?”

“Nursery, actually. Many of these faces are faces I’ve seen daily the past four years.” San grinned in the middle of our eye contact. “I— To this day I still don’t know why I chose it.” And our laughs boomed with a drumming base of the music.

“Nor how you survived through.”

His eyes spread out, like he finally had realized something shocking. “Damn. You’re right, Mora. I keep going to school for my internship, so it feels like my student days haven’t come to an end.”

“Wow. I don’t think we’ve ever crossed paths.”

San dismissed my statement with a shrugging of a shoulder. “But tell me, what are you studying?” He moved aside to let a couple walk into the kitchen. One guy opened the fridge to my right, and by noticing the way he stumbled kneeling down, there was no doubt a single hit would send him to the floor; I grabbed the handle for him.

The other guy had halted in front of the stove, looking at the digital clock on it absent-mindedly.

“Translation, actually.” I mocked his voice tone, causing him to free a chuckle.

“Hey, that’s so cool! Many of my friends also studied that. You have to learn a third language, don’t you?”

I nodded. “Then ask them if they can help me. I’m a sophomore, but how I’ve come this far is yet to be known.”

I took another sip of beer while seeing him lift a finger at me, a crease forming between both brows.

A cute reaction, not gonna lie.

“Wait a moment.” I mouthed “Okay” and waited a moment.

And another.

I let go of the door finally.

But yet another.

Until I couldn’t help myself by asking, “What is it?” when he looked like his brain had stopped being functional.

“How old are you?”

My head tilted with tiny confusion curling my lips. “Nineteen. Why?”

He gulped down saliva so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed in a quick motion. I wouldn’t have noticed the moment I turned my sight away from him if it hadn’t been for the strands of hair landing between us like a curtain. My arms positioned as to embrace my torso, the cold, dark glass of the bottle resting on the corner of my elbow.

“I’m sorry I look flabbergasted. Guess wasn’t expecting you to be much younger than me.” One of my brows arched inquisitively, which he decoded immediately. “I’m turning twenty-three in summer.”

I held his gaze during a breath until I stared at the chanters on the couches and muttered, “Damn, you’re indeed old.”

“I’m— Sorry, sorry. I didn’t intend to say it that way. It’s just— You could be my sister’s friend.” San stepped forward and gingerly grabbed the wrist over my ribs as he noted my sulking. His face had drawn a nervous smile when I glanced back at him. “Hey.”

The next series of things occurring were as though the writer of my life had stoned. The couple in the kitchen decided they had had enough of kissing under the light and, thus, stumbled their way out.

Meaning, they either crossed between San and me or, as the easiest available option and the one they executed, pushed San to me to clear the way for both. They might’ve been a drop away from blacking out, but God wouldn’t minimize their strength.

One arm went to the concrete about my head, cutting him short from mashing my body with the mass of his body.

Both guys staggered behind him. I perceived when they were finally on the other side of the limbo, because my eyes were locked with the thin brown ring of his, and one second to another his background had again the rusty tone of the wall.

San’s perfume melted my insides, causing my breath to get stuck in my throat. I was almost capable of tasting him. In his gaze I found stars and fog, turning into shooting stars at the vibration when regarding my face. But when his chest stretched at him grasping for air, I had to control myself from raising my palms and touch him. Heat ran through my veins and never from where San was holding still my wrist—a countdown for me to ignite when it arrived in my heart. 

I could’ve burst into flames at his proximity. And the worst of it all was how little I cared. I’d gladly become ashes if I could have him this close again.

Exhaling shakingly and lowering his arm, careful not to hit me, San stepped back in slow motion. It seemed, by the flush on his cheeks and oscillation of his lashes, that he felt torn apart. Especially when our skins broke contact. My rush of adrenaline ceased and my breathing took wing—I believe the medical terminology would be “hyperventilation,” but the spot-on person to know if I was hyperventilating for a ridiculous reason was San, not me.

My hearing focused on the irregular beating heart drumming in my head. San regarded me with a teeny-tiny smile, bare visible yet there. Maybe trying to reassure me—nonetheless, I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. My brain was processing so much information I noticed his gesture five seconds after, when it proceeded to waver and vanish.

Then, and out of nowhere, before my vocal cords could produce any kind of sound, Niki materialized on my side, grabbing my hand and exasperatingly asking if I could call her. It had been a while since she used her phone and now didn’t remember where she’d left it. The noise made it hard for me to understand it all in one go, but once I assimilated the thread of words, and as Niki began to drag me out of my spot, I glimpsed back at San and his dark eyes and contrasting reddish t-shirt.

My heart begged to leave my chest as I said, “Sorry. I, uh— I’ll be back.”

Niki eventually brought me with her after he responded with hefty eyelids and messy hair, “Yeah, no worries.”

Worrisome crept through my skull and hung from my ribs, and fucking used it like a swing. 

San disappeared from my sight when we meandered left, walked past the queue to the toilet and through the main door. I found Cami sitting in front of a beautiful scarlet bougainvillea, using the edge of the concrete planter as a bench. Her also scarlet hair and crimson lipstick suited her so much my mouth wouldn’t shut up when I first saw her earlier.

“So how did it happen? When was the last time you used it?” I asked, cheeks flushed by the different first-experiences I’d had.

Cami furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

I was already on my contact list searching for Niki’s number the moment she herself placed a hand between the screen and my sight. “Well…A white lie doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?” She giggled, and Cami and I exchanged looks.

“What did this girl tell you?”

“That she lost her phone— Bitch, it was a lie?”

“In my defense, you were suffocating in flames there. It looked like you really needed some air, so I had to think fast.” Niki took a seat next to Cami and let go of a restrained sigh. “But air aids fire. Instead, I thought some watering should do you good.”

My brows erased the “Distance” entry from their dictionary. “Watering? What do you mean?”

“It’s going to rain. I can smell in the air.” Niki lifted a shoulder as it was nothing. Then grinned.

“Liar. You checked the weather app in the morning,” Cami reprimanded her with a soft shoving to the side. Her attention returned to me, and gifted me a reassuring smile. “So Mora, my girl, what was all that?”

Darn Cami and her devious gestures.

“Did you—?”

“Yup.” Cami popped the “p” and the way I heard it was as though she had enjoyed it. I glared at them, agape and sensing static crawling under my skin. “Everything.”

“Oh, God.” I didn’t know the many times I repeated myself in my pacing out of madness, but when I came to a halt, Niki and Cami had their eyes focused on me.

“We were taking care of you. We don’t know him, Mora,” Niki explained carefully, delicacy in her eyes.

It took me a few seconds to comprehend them, but I nodded. She was right. I also would’ve taken care of both if they had been in my position—talking to a stranger in a party where obviously, we were the vulnerable ones.

“What did you see?” I inquired secretly, trusting they would understand the real intention.

They glanced at each other, as in remembering better, and pondered in silence. Niki stretched her legs and crossed them again afterward. “He wants to kiss you so bad. More than the half of the time you’ve talked, he kept his hands on the pockets of his pants. And y’know what that means.”

“And when he noted he’d grabbed your wrist, the expression he made…like it also was a surprise to him for reacting in that manner.”

“Damn, and the way he approached to touch her,” Niki squeaked. “Please don’t let me know if I hallucinated because I couldn’t have gotten butterflies from my imagination.”

“Niki—”

I gasped, silently feeling comforted that I wasn’t making it up either. “You didn’t,” my voice managed to formulate.

I didn’t feel attacked at his attempt to reduce space between us. His grasp had been tender and hot around my skin, being mindful that the gemstones in my bracelet could easily hurt me if put more pressure on. Not even I’d been that attentive to it; for a reason I continuously ended up stabbing myself when doing anything.

“Then what did he make you feel? Are you comfortable around him?” Cami questioned with her mom-like tone.

I pondered an adequate answer while evoking our conversation and how he adventured to start it. In front of me, both girls squawked.

“We’ve lost her!” they yelled, and I had no other option than to shut them up with a slap on their laps. Their giggles caught the attention of the people in the garage, provoking my face to paint as maroon as the flowers behind my friends looked in the shade.

“We’ll keep eyeing you, okay?” The corners of Niki’s blue lips curled upwards. “Now you may return with your man.”

It is fair to say she deserved this second hit, at which she remained impassive notwithstanding. “He’s not my man, idiot.”

But then she challenged me with a threat. “You’ll be sleeping on the freezing floor if we leave this party and you’ve got no action.”

“I wouldn’t even be sorry I’ll be taking your place on the bed, Mora,” Cami seconded her with a smirk too.

“At times like this is when I seriously ask myself why and how you gained my love.” Biting my lip, I stomped my way back under the same rhythm of my erratic heart. The last thing I heard from outside were their devil laughs, and, to my great surprise, a thunder that silenced for a beat the music from inside.

It saddened me for a second that I’d missed the twisting of the lighting in the closed sky.

To be completely honest, I don’t quite have an idea of how I arrived back to the kitchen with my mouth filled with beer and my bottle hanging now empty from my fingers. I did somehow, and without any inconvenience the beer went down my throat, still cold and bitter. I trashed the bottle and moved to the fridge to open my last one.

While trying to find our box of beers, I also pathetically attempted to shy away every thought related to San. What we talked about, and what could happen next.

However, it was impossible.

I was intrigued, and my mind wouldn’t stop inquiring. When I stood up, my eyes roamed through the room and its feeble lighting. My eyes plummeted on a group of guys on the patio, talking and laughing. San was there, from his fingers dangled a lit-up cigarette whereas his other hand held a beer. A warm yellow shaft fell on his features, and I could see a threat of smoke emitting from his lips.

When I raised my eyes back to his, he already had been staring at me. He raised the cigarette back to his plump lips as soon as he exhaled the puff. His t-shirt stretched with his breathing in, but I couldn’t look away.

We stared at each other, inert on our feet while people danced their way between us.

San didn’t return to the mass intoning Danny Ocean even when the rain broke the skies and poured outside. And I focused on other things to forget that I had a clock right behind me. Cami and Niki pranced tipsy through the hallway to the living room and, at last, joined the crowd. I found another friend in the party, and drank half of the bottle with her, mumbling into nonsense as I accepted the alcohol in my system.

More lightning and thunder echoed in the heavens. I would like to say that was the reason I’d look outside the window door so frequently, and not because of certain someone whose heavy stare I felt on my body, making like a path of burning tingles, from time to time. Although it was impressive how him and his friends were still in the patio even when rain began pouring slightly.

A part of the night clicked by lively with the three of us attempting to twerk, making us company when going to the toilet—thank God neither needed help inside the restroom—and trails of screen’s lights, manes, and shirts roaming around.

The speaker had played perhaps four or ten songs by the moment I finished my drink and my phone vibrated in my hand from a text. It was my brother at two a.m. asking if we were going to need him to come for us since rain had gotten heavy in the last five minutes. The house was just a pair of streets away, but I pondered on the answer while making my way to the countertop to grab a glass of water. I bent to fill the red cup, and unconsciously left the chat open, so hearing a voice next to me was a huge startle that got me hitting in the crown of my head.

“Your boyfriend?” San had asked, and caused my scene of humiliation. “Oh, shit, are you okay?”

“I hope so.” I chuckled and massaged the area that was throbbing.

Seldom are the times I promise things, but I swear I had my eyes closed the moment I faced the voice. That, until another pair of hands cupped my hand and jaw, leading me to stare widely at his eyes, surprise plastered on my features and in my heartbeat. There were so many questions I wanted to formulate—how could you make me feel things so soon? Who are you? Who will be you tomorrow morning?—while mingling in his voice and smell.

Blame the alcohol crashing in my bloodstream, but if I were to turn into thin dust at this exact second by formulating them and continue talking to him the rest of the damn night, I knew I wouldn’t fucking mind.

Before I could hear his questioning inside the walls of my head, my vision lowered to his mouth and plump pink lips. He’d pursed them once again. This occasion, near the yellow kitchen shaft, their shape reminded me of the buttons of my shirt—round and fleecy, absorbing the dim shadows of the room. And my hands wished to do just two things: to bring his lips closer and tear my shirt open.

A shift on his brow in a cocky manner brought me back to the query floating around us. “Does my response matter?”

Not a single beat in when he said, “Yes.”

My hand fell to my side, and along with the motion I swung his skin with me. I blinked. “No. It’s my brother asking if he should collect us since it’s…raining.” One finger of him was grabbing one of mine, loosely.

That’s when I noted his wet hair and the drops of cold rain on his t-shirt, all over his broad shoulders. Two trailed down the side of his neck, and it took all of me not to lick them off.

The point where our skins connected was severely precarious. We’d stop touching each other even at the slightest involuntary movement. It got me in a state of self-awareness and warning, red codes flooding my arteries. I shouldn’t even consider grasping tighter to not let him go.

But he was digging deeper in both my skin and eyes. Each ticking second became harder for me to differentiate if the numbing of my thoughts were his nearness or the drinks perching in my system and fogging them. San was under my touch, in front of my sight, inside my lungs. How could I not have gotten intoxicated by him?

My guts clenched at noticing the sex-themed lyrics of the songs blasting from the speaker. Verses I’d sung my lungs out on my own were stuck within my breath in the back of my throat.

“I shouldn’t be worried then?” His husky voice electrified my veins.

My eyelids fluttered in bewilderment. “About what?”

“You having a boyfriend.” I sensed his smirk prior to swinging down my gaze. Curling the fingers of my free and useless hand, I forced myself to peek at his wooden eyes and maintain my focus there.

Me fighting against myself and these foreign instincts was somehow a ground absolutely virgin—such as I indeed was.

My brain cells had died or extinguished themselves from Earth, as the dinosaurs. Because constructing sentences and foreseeing what could happen only led me to an awkward emptiness in my mind, where not even the noisy murmur of my subconscious would guide me. As though it had turned off, like a radio with dead batteries.

That was when I snapped out of my cage—grabbed my phone, now the screen off, and stepped away from him, shaking my head as the response his frown was eager to hear. Placing the phone in one butt-pocket, I looked in the counter for my previous glass but ended up grabbing a new one to fill with water. It was clearer than the liquid I was drinking that I didn’t want to see what his reaction was.

Never had I been ashamed of never having a boyfriend—or of basically being inexperienced with guys—but now, missing the possible change of his expression would make it simpler to the thumping of my heart aiming to rip my chest open.

When I glanced at San, the creases from his forehead had disappeared. The smirk had stayed, though, and caught something like relief flooding his features.

“I’d never had a boyfriend, as a matter-of-fact,” I faintly said, not knowing what had prompted me to, once half of the red plastic glass was finished. The liquid in it was tasteless, so I was positive it was water.

My body couldn’t take another drop of alcohol.

“I’m calling BS,” San exclaimed in stupefaction.

I grimaced. “Believe me when I say I wish it was. Always have attributed it to the numerous unrequited loves I’ve found myself in. Knowing that nothing would ever go beyond that, perhaps even unconsciously, every single time has made it easier for me to just…unclasp them from me. Or me from them.” A corner of my lips went upwards bittersweetly as I swung in the water left in my hand.

San crossed his arms on his chest and peered the room behind me before asking, “So you’ve had no sex?”

My face flushed and my stomach sank. Didn’t think he would dare to enquiry so directly. “Nope,” I answered sincerely, staring at the countertop. Then at his eyes. “What about you?”

San nodded. “My first time was a few years ago, with my now ex.” He scratched his nape. “Wait, have you gotten to any base?”

That question got me biting back my lip before I could think it through. “The abstract of my romantic and sexual lives is inexistent.” I laughed my usual laugh, with my head falling back and my neck exposing. “Never have I held hands with somebody. Never have I kissed someone. Never have been touched—”

Unlike other situations caused by alcohol, this moment caught me with the surprise that indeed alcohol is dangerous to people like me. The kind that takes too long to say things because we overthink everything. But due to our systems altered and light-feathered head, words would be vomited, slurred, that otherwise would’ve been thought thoroughly in some fake scenario prepared beforehand.

And sharing this information wasn’t in my plans. Although it was too late to mend the mess—San had heard, processed, and comprehended my words.

Feeling my mouth open and close twice, I went mute for a second as I dwelled on what I should do next to avoid the slightest idea in him of stopping our acquaintance. As inexperienced as I was at kissing and being in intimacy with guys, the blood in my veins still fancied his proximity, his attention, his eyes on me and my lips nonetheless.

I was not dense enough to miss noticing how his view swayed downwards, and it wasn’t to admire the purple-ish lipstick fading, even though his eyes locked there for a beat too much. 

“I’m not gonna apologize for speaking facts about me. And if it’s a huge pressure on you and I to be friends due to that and it leads to us stopping our convo, then I guess you may regret it a little. But I assure you in the end it’s gonna be okay; you’ll survive.”

His chortle danced to my ears. San didn’t spare my blood pressure as he let his head hang cutely to one side. “It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to a girl in a party, and you’re easy-going and funny that I don’t think I could let you go just right away.” He snatched from my black-polished nails the red glass. “Besides, I ought to know how come that no one has ever…been inside your walls.”

The rose tint from the beers on my cheeks grew darker as I caught the suggestiveness rolling out of his tongue. But I was riveted on him filling back the cup and sipping next to the spot of a purple lipstick that, in the end, I didn’t relate this new wave of heat to his words.

“What would you do then, if you had the opportunity in your hands?” He returned to my left flank and leaned his hip on the counter. “Would you have sex with someone you’d just met?”

My head shook on its own before the ˂20 sober percentage in my system could process and ponder his question. “One-night stands aren’t really my thing.”

“Oh, that’s good, you’ll be safer. I never have experienced it either, since it is never sure if the people involved are completely clean. Irony would be if a doctor or nurse ends up catching a STD.”

“It may be mainly that, yeah. But just imagine if one of them has a kink that is not of your liking and wouldn’t respect your decision by imposing themself. There must be trust, respect for each other and their boundaries, and—”

“Love?”

The mocking tone in his voice drew my brows together. “San, please, we’re talking about sex. You well know this is apart from romantic emotions.”

He shrugged a shoulder and showed me a wide smile. “It was a dumb question you answered perfectly.”

To continue his joke, I pushed myself away from the counter and teased him with a nineteenth-century curtsy. “It has been my pleasure, my lord.” I finished my little theatrical act and returned my gaze to him, freezing briefly at the smirk that popped into view a pair of beautiful dimples I had tried my best to ignore before.

This bastard had to have it all, hadn’t he?

“But yeah, that’s how things are. Personally, I could never be with someone whom I don’t trust nor connect. Developing these feelings toward someone completely different from you takes a big-ass amount of time.”

While he began answering me, he moved us away from a group of friends that had entered the kitchen and that I was unaware of. “You’re one of those who enjoy suffering thus choosing the hard way, ain’t you?”

I smiled at him, biting my lip quickly to behave as I should.

But being tipsy wasn’t advantageous for the situation. “And you’re one of those who act in a bold manner.” I pointed at his hand wrapping my waist, his warm hand spread immobile against my only layer of clothing. “Not that I mind. Things have felt and been different tonight and somehow…I can’t seem to complain having you close,” I whispered, fidgeting with the ends of my mane.

Two of his fingers, oozing security and softness, placed a few of my rebel baby hairs with the rest, but ended up wandering through the bridge of my nose to a brow and then to my temple until they were brought to a halt in my jaw. His stare exposed his confusion and desire, as it glued for seconds on my features in sheer silence. Not even his breath made it to my ears, much less his heartbeat.

San and I were in a corner of the room, and he acted as if no one else could see us there, standing so close we might’ve as well looked like we already kissed. The purple of my lips was surely smeared, but San wasn’t the reason. 

I wasn’t used to having eyes on me. Under other circumstances, people would take a look over us and gossip about things. However, every single soul in the house was in their own world, I had to remind myself.

I wasn’t used to having eyes on me, although in this circumstance, if by “eyes” meant his, then I think I had no option than to sway along the river.

“The night is young and yet I feel it slipping through my fingers.” San tightened his grasp on my back, inducing me to get a step closer. Our chests had finally clashed one onto the other. “I want to know you more, so talk to me, please.”

It took nineteen years in order to fully acknowledge that my boobs were too small for my liking.

A nervous laughter, another of those that display my neck, came out. Thank God San was holding me steadily, because I could’ve lost balance. “We’re already talking.”

“This is not enough, Mora,” he said with a small smile to the side, a small dimple appearing. “Tell me more about you, your family, your past. I’m genuinely interested in this girl named after one of my favorite berries found in Costco.”

He welcomed my weak fist on one solid bicep.

And San laughed, shrinking his eyes and frowning his brows. His shoulders had also lifted but when the tension left his system, his stare returned to be the heavy, beaming one pouring over me.

I did as requested and we…got lost into our own little world. Exchanged life experiences, dreams and goals for the future, and family situations with their respective inside jokes. Stole two pieces of cake from the fridge and savored them at three a.m. Although San finished what I’d left, since I wasn’t as hungry as him—I had eaten the leftovers of my hamburger minutes prior to starting putting on makeup. He handed me his phone to write down my name on Facebook’s searching bar; I unlocked mine on my other hand to accept him. We laughed, I almost cried and he freaked out a little bit. He held me close, stood between my legs when I sat down on the countertop, or grabbed me again from the waist with one or both hands when his hip was leaned on the edge of the laminate. 

We’d provoke brushes or strokes if for any reason we had finished the prior contact. I sent him signals, mental texts, images of what I was manifesting, because our connection grew and I felt it—as well as I felt a big percentage of the alcohol leaving my body by now, though this wasn’t as urgent as the former.

The clock was ticking, and I had become a bit surer of what I wanted to happen between us. Even with the threat of me sleeping on the floor if I returned home with no action, my mind was made up for a completely independent reason. And that certain reason was thumping as mad as a drummer inside my ribcage and throbbing against other parts of my body. There was no necessity for him to know this.

But before anything else happened, I had to hear the truth from his lips and voice.

“San?” I muttered.

He turned toward me after having searched everywhere for the third red cup we’d lose within an hour. “Yeah?”

“Let me be straightforward and ask something even if I kill the mood.”

San laughed. “Go ahead.”

“You—” I cut myself to breath in. Speaking my sober mind wouldn’t ever stop being hard, ain’t it? “Earlier, you talked to me thinking I was older?”

Not a single second passed when he articulated in a shy tone, “Positive.”

“And you’ve always had in mind kissing me?” God, it’s me again. With the alcohol remaining in my veins, make me look good and nothing-at-all ashamed for interrogating him this way.

His head tilted, and a half curve was formed on his lips. “If the chance came, yes. No one says no to kissing in a party. Just look around. Everyone’s lips are glued to another’s. But knowing this would be your first kiss, I wouldn’t like to pressure yourself into doing something you’re not sure of.”

Well, I hadn’t learned at school which is the best timing to give your first kiss, and even though I wasn’t against the idea of turning this moment into a romantic memory, I’d always wanted to have my first kiss with a boy I liked. Yeah, that’s right. The dream of every girl with pink-colored glasses on.

Truth be told, I’d felt this electricity running through my whole body when San’s eyes landed on mine or studied my face, so it was impossible to deny that I wasn’t attracted to him. He’d been treating me respectfully the whole night, which made me think of him like a safe guy. And he already pledged he’d stop whenever there was a “no” from either his partner or him.

He seemed trustworthy after all the time we’d spent talking and opening about ourselves.

It just was my mind that wouldn’t shut up with all its hourly overthinking, nonetheless. He was older, yes. He had more experience, yes. He knew what he was looking for—which I didn’t know. Did he come to me because he thought of me as a pretty gal or as someone sexy who he’d get something from? Did he see me and couldn’t stop himself from coming over? Or was I the easiest target because I was with my girlfriends and standing still?

And after the sun rises again, with me in his Facebook friends and vice versa, what will be going to happen? Back to strangers, but now with the only difference that he will have become the guy who took my first kiss away from my lips?

Funny thing is, regardless of the overthinking of my mind, I did want it.

I wanted him to kiss me. 

I did crave the shortening of distance between his lips and mine.

I had made my mind that he was the one I’d chosen the moment I started feeling protected in every kind of way. When he didn’t laugh at my lack of experience and romance in my life. When he answered my naïve questions with seriousness, never trying to mansplain what he knew about.

And he might’ve acted all out to get this one goal—to eat someone’s mouth in a party, the most casual thing—but I might have as well. I’m no goddess-looking girl, but I flirted, intended to focus him on my lips by playing with them, posed to look sexier for him to notice the usual cute face everyone sees.

It may be not a lie when I say that we both were lusting for it. To taste, smell, feel each other. Arousal ran under my skin at the expectation, though I still hadn’t answered him. My eyes fell on the closed glass door. And then beyond that, to the darkness of the night and the few raindrops that had lingered enough time on the ceiling and would meet the same spot on the floor.

“Ever crossed your mind that your first kiss would be under the rain?” he asked, silencing my train of thought.

I couldn’t stop a smirk from forming on my face. “Oh, Mr. San, are you asking me if you can kiss me?” I half-joked. I was done. My heartbeat had taken the race thing too seriously and now bumped blood to my body at the speed of light. The weightless breeze caressing the bare skin of my neck was cold.

Or maybe I was too turned on.

Which was weird, because he hadn’t touched me past my hand and clothes. Besides, I had stopped drinking a while now.

Lust really was something else, huh?

“I’m open to the opportunity if you also want to.” He shrugged like it meant nothing, maybe not to put pressure on me, but I sensed his lie under the tip of my tongue. It tasted sour.

“Okay,” I found myself muttering with a crescent smile. “I do. I’m in.”

Best mood-killer ever, by the way.

He gave me a shocked look before questioning me if he’d heard right. I repeated myself. He grinned.

We snickered into the door on his back, into the laundry room. The door shut us in the darkness, and I didn’t care if someone caught us on our way in. This moment was San’s and mine.

“Follow me,” I whispered even though the music beyond the walls could hide my normal voice enough.

“Where are we going?”

I grabbed the knob of a door to my left and unlocked it. I let him walk out first, facing a short corridor that also led to the patio. I knew beforehand not a single soul was outside, due to the rain, so it was the perfect spot for our escapism to sin. “You asked if I wanted my first kiss to be under the rain.” I shrugged a shoulder and intertwined my shaking fingers. “I thought a private place would be better.” San gulped down and nodded.

The lightbulb above us illuminated half of our faces. I kept fidgeting with my nails even when my back hit the brick and its temperature ran through my skin. “I’m nervous,” I admitted in a low voice. I hardly felt the blasts of the speaker on my feet.

“Me too.” San, looking at my hands, scratched one side of his neck. “Are you—?”

“I’m okay. Are you still—?”

Now he cut me off by cocooning my trembling limbs with a hand. “Yes.”

“Okay,” I mouthed inaudibly, rather to myself than to him.

“Okay,” San mirrored. He came nearer, and I had all my back fused to the cement. Both of his hands cupped my face. I was jammed staring at the wooden eyes of his when they blinked numerous times and glanced down to my lips. “Okay, then,” he repeated again, a breath away from me.

I had seen in movies how mouths had to be open, so I did. My lips parted slowly for the first time and for him. The last thing I viewed was him closing his eyelids with pleasure.

Kissing was a weird sensation. Or maybe I’d thought that because he went hard on me, as though he indeed had been wanting to taste my mouth and play with my lips all night long. I tried to keep up with his years of experience by moving them and accepting each feeling the moment was granting me.

He broke our kiss when I wasn’t ready to let go of the sensation. I sighed and opened my eyes; his were two thin lines. Barely. “Wait, let’s do it this way,” he commanded in a clear, hot mumble. My legs wobbled, and I felt like newborn Bambi.

However, starting from the next kiss, he had a fire burning inside him. And I was confused how I could've been the one to light it. Because catching my lips again, San shifted our positions. He was breathing loudly and with effort, though it didn’t cut him short of embracing my waist with his ripped arms and raising me from the ground—like I weighed nothing—a second before placing his solid thigh between my legs. As he was taller than me, I ended up being tiptoed, my upper body clenched against him. And in under the span of one second, somehow, my hands grabbed him from the shoulders even though it wasn’t necessary—his grasp kept tight and firm around my shape.

This time, San enjoyed sucking my lower lip, and gave it a tiny bite prior to kissing me with his tongue meandering in, licking and looking for mine. I was sensing everything so much in every corner of my body that, when I chose to make my tongue dance and fight against his, my hips began rocking back and forward on his thigh. The tension was electrifying, violent within my nerves, and it took all my might to not dip my nails on him.

I could’ve died right there, or maybe I did and came back to life immediately. San was devouring me, leaving no room in my senses to think of anything else that weren’t either him and this moment. I followed his lead and separated to fill our lungs with a scent other than ourselves, but it was hard, especially when what happened the next time I inhaled, I was sent berserk.

We were inches apart, inhaling and exhaling with difficulty. My bottom lip was throbbing and numb when I nibbled it while expecting the next inevitable kiss, but San had planned another trajectory. Contrarily to my shrouded thoughts, San set down briefly his lips on my jaw and, just like that, he was facing my neck. His grip around me got tightened, and it was efficient for me to not fall as I was melting down for him. My hips were still rolling against his thigh, aiding the pulsing spot between my legs, this time a bit more steadily. He left wet kisses and its noises downwards until the base of my neck.

The effect that had on me led me to my head falling back, giving him more space if possible, at the deadly feeling. I wish I had grabbed his hair between my fingers and held him closer, but I didn’t. I could barely feel my limbs.

“You smell so damn good,” he had said with his mouth caressing my sensitive skin.

My eyes were shut, trying to understand what he had said with the feather-like sensation of my head. “Thank you,” I answered finally in a murmur. However, now that I think of it, a moan could’ve been a more adequate response, though.

He giggled his way up, and when I reopened my eyes, he was staring down at me, a smirk showing off his cute dimples. The oscillation of our chests was irregular, and my blood pressure was one kiss away from causing a heart attack.

That was when I recognized the sound of the glass door sliding open. And I supposed he also had, because he grabbed my hand and unclicked the door for us. My mind was hazy and my senses numb, so by some means, I turned on the lightbulb of the laundry room above our heads. Both of us leaned on each door to grasp for the last breath we were interrupted from having in the fresh night air.

I glanced at him, he glanced back, and our laughter filled the tiny space we were in.

“I’m sorry if I came out rude,” he said staring at the ceiling. “I thought you wouldn’t like anyone seeing us kissing.”

“Don’t worry. It’s all good.” I smiled at him, but it was a strange one, because my lips were plumber than usual, filled with fluttering static.

He lowered his gaze and stepped forward, to me, licking his lips. And I spotted desire stacking up in his eyes—his wanting to kiss me again. His hands lifted up to cup my face again, and his towering shape bended on me.

But my hand flew to his thorax to stop him. It worked on his marching, but he kept his hands close to my jaw, a concerned expression welled up from his frown to his pursed lips.

“I’m feeling lightheaded and dizzy,” I confessed and he nodded, the creases on his forehead not disappearing though. I sighed, nestled on his warm touch, and finally dared to stroke the growing hairs of his nape. We were still like this a few seconds while waiting for me to regain back any healthy shade of color on my cheeks.

When I focused on him again, I noticed my eyes had been closed as he’d caressed a cheek and a piercing of my ear. One of the corners of my lips raised on its own. “Thank you,” I muttered after accommodating my weight on my two feet. “I’m feeling better.”

“Really? I’m glad. That, uh— That’s good to hear,” he also spoke in his suppressed, husky tone. His hands fell to his sides and widened the space between us. Ironically, I felt as though air had been fisted out of my lungs.

My limbs, not knowing yet what to do with them, crossed over my ribs. A finger with a mind on its own crept to my lips nonetheless, and like I was at the cinema, watching a movie, my brain opted to show me everything that had happened in the span of the last few minutes. It had been easier to relive it since the room we were in was so quiet, and the chants coming from my back were muffled.

I had to rest on the wood of the door to keep on my feet. “And thank you, San.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could’ve had the chance to swallow them.

He was reclining on the washing machine to my right, his arms tensed for the weight pushing his body straight. His eyes squinted with wonderment. “What for?”

“For making me feel safe. For talking to me this whole time. For being the first guy to ever kiss me.”

“There’s a tint on your voice like we’re breaking up,” he joked.

I shook my head gingerly. “The night’s soon to be over.” I scratched one brow at reminiscing the entire scene once again. “Damn, you’re a good kisser.”

Fuck, did I just say that out loud?

At least I made him bend over, laughing. “Well, thank you. I’m happy you enjoyed yourself. I also did.”

I bit back my lips and beamed at him with a grimace. “I think we should go back. My friends must be looking for me.”

“Sure.” San gazed at me so tenderly I almost begged him to hug me. Almost.

Instead, I opened the door for him and he walked out first. The moment I prepared to bear the rest of the party as though I hadn’t just devoted my first kiss to San, I heard Niki’s voice regarding him. “Have you seen Mora?” she had asked the exact moment I came into her range of view to turn off the light behind me. I caught at most a glimpse of the shape of her brows rising before she said then in a raucous voice, “Oh,” and turned away.

“She knows, right?” San questioned.

“Yup.” I popped the “p” as if it were chewing gum. “She may have an idea.”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do, is there?”

I shrugged a shoulder and sighed. I could bet she had prompted to Cami and told her everything now. “You’re right. Anyways, want another glass of water?”

He nodded and stole my opportunity to fill the red glass by snatching it from my hands and doing it himself. Then, he waited for me to drink my sips and was until I had enough when he emptied it. Damn, I just wanted to be taken care of by him a little more.

The night continued. Music thumped each tile of the floor, voices broke by singing to a high note, laughter joined to the mess created. The last message I received from my brother was two hours ago, at 2:18 a.m. when he sent “Goodnight, Loca” instead of writing “Mora” because he had always liked how they rhymed.

I didn’t enjoy it as much as him, but whatever. I left his message unread.

I left San in the kitchen two times to go pee, and each time I returned, he was waiting for me with our red plastic glass between his teeth and on the phone. The second time I wasn’t running lucky, since he was answering to some friends that had come to the party with him. The clock in the stove read 4:44 when I blinked at it in the middle of my yawn.

“I think it’s time for me to leave,” he said apologetically.

“Really? Why?” I wish I had bitten back the words. I feared my voice had the neediness my insides were trying hard to ignore.

“One of my friends is staggering on the sidewalk and another is throwing up in the bathroom from upstairs. They’re at their limit and I still have to drop them off before I get home.”

“Yeah, sorry. It was a stupid question.” I glared down, fidgeting with my nails.

“It wasn’t, I promise.” He raised my face with a grip on my chin. “Thank you for making me company tonight and allowing me to get to know you. I had a great time.”

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “I did too. And if you want to talk, you know my DM is open.”

Please kiss me again.

“Sure. See you, Mora.” San half-hugged me, his arm embracing my waist, and kissed my cheek.

Please make me yours.

“Night, San.” His perfume made it to my lungs and held it in as much as I could.

Please don’t go yet.

His touch slithered from my torso to my arm and then, my fingerprints on his palm disappeared as soon as our mutual brush finished and I was there, hanging and grasping the crisp air. My arm returned loosely to my side, as though he had stolen part of my energy.

I set free my breathing and didn’t risk a flood of emotions at seeing him leave the house, or at knowing which car was his. I channeled my attention to the songs and the few souls remaining. It was a wonder to me how there were only ten of us left when an hour prior the house was crowded and it looked like it was vomiting humans.

The chilly breeze flew through the rooms, so I grabbed and put on the sweater I had thrown to the sofa when we first arrived.

By the moment I encountered Lily, she was drunk and sad at five a.m. She wanted to sleep, but the rest of the guests—us—weren’t leaving yet. So I opted to help her ease her frustration and fetched Niki and Cami. In no time they gathered up their things and the three kissed Lily goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” she said but Niki waved off her words.

“We understand, girl. Have a good night, sweetie.”

“Sleep tight,” I said, and Cami waved a hand.

As the house Niki and I lived in was near, and the rain had stopped from watering wild flowers, we walked past the houses for two or three minutes until we stopped in front of the door of our garage. The streetlight blinked a few times before steading, just right when Niki unlocked the door.

The city was one hour from dawning and yet, everything was so quiet out there. No wind, no clouds, and a dog barking was hardly heard in the distance. I gave it a quick thought to San and if he had arrived safely by now; however, I knew I had better things to think about—than a guy I might never see again—like how to recollect strength to change into pajamas and wipe off my makeup.

And these only were two of them.

Niki and Cami spoke of the fun they had, and I was more than proud, since they’d been my guests. I was listening to the conversation in parts, for I was coming in and going out of Niki’s room, where we were going to sleep all three. Once I had changed into a new set of pajamas in the bathroom and washed my teeth, I returned to the bedroom to remove my little effort of eyeliner, mascara, shadows, and the smeared lipstick.

“—and when that guy did the step of Anita, I almost joined him on the floor. Just facts,” Cami stated and snapped her fingers twice.

“Fuck! If you’ve had, I also would’ve, bitch! Why didn’t you tell me?” Niki called out. Both of her hands rushed to cover his mouth as she noticed she had screamed.

“That isn’t my fault, ‘kay?” Cami whispered.

“What in the world are you talking about?” I expressed in amusement while taking off my glasses and tapping on one eye the remover cream.

They shared a glance I could catch up with since I wasn’t as sight-depraved as Niki. Their giggles boomed in the room, but they weren’t normal ones—these had evilness in their ring.

“You would’ve seen the public show if you just hadn’t starred your own.” I swore Cami had secret horns matching her hair color.

“Her own private show,” seconded Niki, dancing up and down her brows.

“Y’all don’t even know what happened.” Okay, I admit that was a crappy attempt to defend myself.

“But I saw the two of you coming out of the laundry room, somewhat…buoyant.”

“I have to say, Mora, what the fuck? Why, girl, why in the damn laundry room?”

 I raised my palms briefly. “Nothing happened there! Calm down, geez.”

“Then?” Cami’s honey eyes beamed at me. She had on her pajamas and looked more angelic than before. That chameleon girl. “What happened elsewhere? Because that guy? He had laid his eyes on you the moment he arrived.”

Comprehending her last sentence, all my prior thoughts evaporated. “What?”

Cami stared up at both from the individual air mattress Niki had put for her. “You heard right. He arrived at eleven-ish with some other guys, and left their beers in the fridge, but I think you were in the bathroom helping Lily at that time. However, the first moment I saw you catching his attention, we were in the backyard. He was—”

“Standing at the right, with a bunch of other guys, talking, wasn’t he?” I cut in, faintly remembering someone with a red t-shirt in the middle of a circle composed of darker colors.

“Yeah. When we decided to get inside, I noticed his friends outside encouraging him to do something.”

“Fists and all?” Niki deadpanned.

“Fists and all,” answered Cami back within a sigh. “Instead of encouraging him, it seemed like they were going to kill him before he could even try something with you. But yeah, I saw him walk through the door and, as unnoticeable as a tall guy with a red t-shirt could be, he approached to your side. Not ours; yours. He glanced many times to see if you’d noticed him, and got so relieved when he finally stopped at your side.”

The words had caught up in my throat.

“I am witness to this last part,” Niki said. “So when he said something, it was for you to answer, not us, so we let you take charge of the rest.”

“How come I-I wasn’t aware of this?” San had felt attracted to me…way before we even exchanged names? He had been nervous since the beginning? “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

They shook their heads in sync. “You need to check your glasses, hun.” Niki patted my knee with a chortle stuck in her tongue.

Cami and I rolled our eyes. “It just means you didn’t go to the party looking for guys.”

“Speaking of which, I’m sorry I left you on your own the whole night after— Well, after him.”

“What the fuck are you saying? We’re more than happy you also spent a great night, be it with us or not.” Cami smiled widely.

“And we were together, so it didn’t matter to us much. Don’t worry.” Niki put on a black hoodie. “But what’s done is done. Now spill the tea between you two, bitch.”

I didn’t know where to begin with. I had lived so much with him in the span of a few hours that my brain was still processing everything. “We talked, like a lot. He seemed genuinely interested in my life and dreams and goals, so, after I returned inside from your shitty lie”—I glared at Niki and her muffled laughter came from behind the sheets—“we opened up about ourselves. My mind began to produce images that hadn’t happened…yet. But when we were actually living the moment…it was much better, I swear. He kissed me as though he would die otherwise. With tongue too, which was something totally unexpected.”

“Did you like it?” Niki asked.

“I didn’t not like it, but it is a weird sensation having someone else’s tongue inside your mouth, you know? And it was barely the second time we had, yeah, our lips pressed together, so it’d escalated rather quickly to my liking.”

As I ran out of breath, I had the time to regard their reactions. My eyes lifted from my hands to their agape faces.

“What’d you say?”

“Wait a damn minute.” Niki pressed her mouth in a thin line. “Mora, bitch, how many kisses were there?”

Color dashed to my face and the neck he had also savored. And since I couldn’t bring my voice to pass through the knot in my throat, I signaled them three and four. Not even I recalled when it finished one and started the next.

For the following five minutes I narrated my vague memories. I was tired yet still mesmerized by San. Although I still was having a hard time gulping down what Cami had told us.

I left the girls chatting some more about the party to go to the bathroom, but when I stopped at the door, no sound came from the inside. I entered tiptoeing and lay back on the mattress, reminiscing the night in the ceiling once more, because…why the hell not? I was in my right.

It was early in the morning when my eyelids felt too heavy for me to maintain them open any longer.

After waking up, we cooked pancakes at eleven for breakfast with a cup of coffee to energize our dehydrated bodies. The dishes were placed in the sink, and I had a foolish wish for them to wash themselves. At one we put a movie on the TV in the living room and, although I wasn’t paying much attention, I caught glimpses of some scenes. I had spent mainly my time surfing on Instagram, watching reels to help with the boredom that a Sunday afternoon meant.

That, until a bubble with his name on my screen appeared, and I evoked his promise for a kiss under the rain and when we were outside, nothing had poured.

[iuteamstarcandy]

High Cut (December 2019)

Merry Pink Christmas

A small and warm Christmas party just for IU.

IU, who has been trapped in the distant past for a long time as ‘Jang Manwol’, came back to us with her new album <Love Poem>. "I spent a year that was as rewarding as the amount of effort I exerted", as she was saying this, it's as if she's comforting someone through each word and syllable packed with warmth. Sometimes, IU's songs are like a fierce and sensitive cat, however at times they're also like an old person who has lived through all the years; but especially this winter, just like the lyrics that says "I'll sing for you who is walking through an unusually long night," her songs cozily settle down our hearts like a Christmas present. Following this comes a simple yet warm 'Merry Christmas' letter or a light greeting sent to <HIGH CUT> from IU of 2019 who has shined like a big snowflake.

2019 is almost coming to an end. Did all of the things you wished for this year work out well?

IU: Surprisingly, it was a year where everything I hoped for came true. The drama <Hotel del Luna> received so much love, and the album which I prepared for a long time was also successfully released to the world. The big concert also ended successfully. I was fully rewarded for all the things I worked hard on, I think it has been an amazing year.

Your new album <Love poem> is very popular. It's not an easy feat for (your songs) to be a hit every time like this, what do you think is the secret to keeping IU's style while receiving love from so many people?

IU: Of course, there are various reasons that are within and beyond my abilities which cannot be explained one by one, but I would like to point out 'timing' in particular. Thankfully, I think that the words I wanted to say through this album and the words that the listeners wanted to hear from me aligned well.

Christmas is approaching. What meaning does Christmas day have for IU?

IU: It's a day where I can be with people whom I love. Last year, I spent Christmas while having a concert in Taiwan, and everyone in our team wore outfits according to the dress code. After the concert, we had a fun time picking the best dresser and having an after-party. That happy memory feels like yesterday, so I'm surprised that a new Christmas has already come. I think it's also because I feel a bit sad that time flies like an arrow.

Today's photoshoot was like an advanced Christmas party. Perhaps because it's a jewelry photoshoot, but it seems like IU was shining even more today. Was there anything you liked?

IU: I usually collect earrings. From time to time, I tend to buy things I find pretty, from fancy items that I would never wear outside, to classic items. Today too, as expected, my eyes were naturally attracted to the earrings. I especially liked the model which was shaped after the 'U' based on my name 'IU'.

What are your plans for this year's Christmas?

IU: I have a concert in Bangkok for this year's Christmas Eve. I think I'll spend it together with my team, similar to last year. It will be a loud and busy day filled with funny events.

If there's a Christmas gift you would like to give to those who you love, and to those who love IU, what would it be?

IU: An electric heating pad haha. Recently, a heating pad the size of a knee blanket has been released, and it's very nice. I want to give out very random gifts ahaha.

That's warm. Now that you've mentioned a lot of your aspirations whether as an artist or actress, please tell us about another warm dream that IU has.

IU: Hmm... I want to become an even better friend to good friends of mine.

Please relay a Christmas present-like message to those friends.

IU: I'll become an even better friend next year. Let's get along well.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Source: [1]

[lilmackiereads]

One Day (2009) by David Nicholls - Spoiler Filled Review

In addition to this review, a spoiler-free review of the book will also be posted if you haven’t read the book or watched the movie. While I recommend reading the book, I didn’t like the movie. See that version of the review for why.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

There are many parts of this story that are a bit cliche. Boy meets girl, they have crushes on each other, spend the next grand amount of time avoiding their true feelings for each other, they get together. YET, the end of the novel was very unexpected and the emotion and the humor these characters had toward each other was so moving. Nicholls said loud and clear: This. Is. A. Drama. Tragedy. NOT. A. Romantic. Comedy. The dialogue was top notch and I honestly had to look up quite a few phrases and words because I am not familiar with all of the British jargon. 

Plot and Structure: 3.5 out of 5 stars

I also liked that he split the book into smaller sections based on the ages of the characters as each section was a new turning point or challenge in their lives. The bits of literature preceding each section were well-chosen and foreshadowed major events and themes. Docking points only for the cliché plot aspects that all romance novels do to make the tension last longer. I like that we see into each year of their lives, but some years not a lot happened, and I would have been okay with skipping a few extra years into the future.

Part 1 - Early to Mid 20s

I really related to Emma in Part 1 of wanting to do all these amazing things for the world like protesting and volunteering and traveling and then realizing that you have bills and have to work a demeaning customer service job. Life sucks ass sometimes and I’m sad for her that she was stuck in that emotional and financial space for so long, but happy that she was brave enough to quit the restaurant and do more for herself. I was irritated with Dexter because I had to work to put myself through school and I know wealthier students who had a free pass and gap year like him that just grind my gears. On top of that, Dex getting quasi-famous for basically being hot and annoying just made it worse.

Nevertheless, I really wanted them to bang out the tension they’d had those couple of years during their trip to Greece, but alas, dreams didn’t come true for any of us. I thought the skinny-dipping scene was super fun and steammmyyy!

Part 2 - Late 20s

I think that the hardest part of this book for me to get through was Part 2 because a lot of it revolved around Dex’s grief. His downward spiral with mood-influencers like sex, drugs, and alcohol while his mom was sick was all too real for me as I am someone who has a parent with cancer (luckily, I never went down this path like Dexter, but there are a lot of people who do who can’t get out). It is hard to see him hurt himself that way because it’s already written and can’t be changed. As a reader all I could do was watch him tumble even further down the rabbit hole and it sucked.

I was excited at first when Emma branched away from Dex and started dating Ian because he’s a bit of a goober, but he’s really nice and fun (just not funny). When Dex started parading sexy Suki in front of Emma and bullying Ian I was SEETHING.

I definitely think Emma did the right thing cutting Dex out of her life because he was being an ass and so full of himself, which is sad because he was masking his grief. IF HE HAD JUST BEEN HONEST WITH HIMSELF AND HER---- ugh, I’m wasting my breath.

I was broken (again) when Emma dumped Ian. I get it, she didn’t love him, but she treated him like shit and all he ever wanted was someone who loved him just the way he was. I’m glad that Nicholls showed us that Ian got a happy ending in Part 5. 

Part 3 - Early to Mid 30s

Looking back at Part 3 there was SO MUCH to unpack here. It feels like three separate parts within it because it has adultery and marriage and parenthood being added into the mix. 

When I found out that Emma was working as a theater teacher (cool) and trying to become a writer (even cooler) and sleeping with the principal (not so cool) I wanted to scream: GIRL, YOU NEED SOME GIRLFRIENDS TO HYPE YOU UP AND GET AWAY FROM THIS YUCKY GUY. I could have been her Hype Girl. Oh well.

When Dex met Sylvie’s parents and played that stupid game, I had second-hand embarrassment for him. Yikes. I felt bad that he was so out of place and bullied when he was starting out with Sylvie, but at the same time he was doing that to Emma for years with her and Ian so I was somewhat satisfied that he got knocked off his high horse. 

I feel like literally the worst thing that Dex could have done was getting married to Sylvie and telling Emma about it in such a public place (coward) instead of dealing with his grief and being single for a while. Adding a baby to the mix was like going from the frying pan to the fire. Oi. Boy loves himself some drama. I think he ultimately became a good husband and dad in Part 5, but Sylvie. Is. Not. His. Match. As seen with their on-again and off-again relationship with each other and Dex’s other on-again off-again relationship with alcoholism.

Ok, so I low-key was so tired of Dex’s shit that I just wanted Emma to stay in Paris with the sexy Jean-Pierre and leave Dex in the dust but nOOooOOoOoo. It’s fine. Where’s my A.U. where Emma was right about Dex and he’s fat and bald with a zillion ex-wives and she’s married to JP?

Part 4 - Late 30s to Early 40s

Something I appreciated in Part 4 was that even though Dex and Em FINALLY get together, it’s not all smooth sailing. It’s not a “happily ever after” and I think this is super important because it is so honest. Getting divorced and married is hard, and even harder with a kid (Dex), especially to someone who has never been married or had children (Em). They have known each other for almost two decades, but they had such different interests and addictions throughout their lives that they had to come to terms with (they didn’t) and never fully showed each other that dark side of themselves. I think it’s a great lesson because Nicholls is showing that even the perfect person for you is not going to be perfect all the time because we are all imperfect people with our own problems. 

I wish I hadn’t seen the movie before I read the book because Emma’s death would have hit so much harder if I didn’t know it was coming. It definitely would have been a moment where I would have had to reread the passage because she is just going about her normal routine and is killed out of nowhere. The shock factor would have been devastating since they had just officially gotten together and most romance novels have the “happy” ending.

Part 5 - Mid 40s

My favorite part of the entire story was in Part 5 which seamlessly went between the night they met in 1988 and the mid 2000s when Dexter reflected on the photo of him and Emma from their hike in 1988 to Arthur’s Seat. Dexter choosing to bring his daughter, Jasmine, there was a sweet and humorous moment that Emma would have loved. An honorable mention is when Sylvie and Dex’s dad help clean him up after his drunken night trying to ease the pain of being a widower. It pulled at my heartstrings to see the kindness of Sylvie despite her jealousy of Emma and later when Dex and his dad bond over being widowers. I also liked that Sylvie got a taste of her own medicine when she found out that while cheating on Dex with Callum that Callum has been cheating on her with someone else. Ha. Ha.

Characters: 4 out of 5 stars

The way he wrote the characters made it seem like they were real people who actually did know each other for a long time. It is hard to write three-dimensional characters, so kudos to Nicholls.

Even though I prefer first person, I think his choice of third person limited made quite a wonderful story to go back and forth between not only Em and Dex, but also Ian, Sylvie and a few one-scene characters. At times I LOATHED Emma and Dexter when they were whining or making terrible choices, like dating the wrong person to avoid loneliness, drinking to drown out the sadness, staying in the wrong job because they’re unconfident, and lying to each other. At other times I wanted to give them a hug and a kiss and tell them I was proud of them, especially at the end of the story when Dex FINALLY got his shit together. 

I think my favorite character was actually Ian Whitehead, who is Emma’s partner for a time. I admired his desire to go for his dreams even if they were a long shot, his loyalty to Emma, and his choice to take the high road in the end. There was one point that I didn’t like his character when he and Emma were fighting about the breakup, but to be honest, if I was in his position, I probably would have felt the same way if my significant other was in love with their best friend and not me.

Themes, Motifs, & Symbols: 3.5 out of 5 stars

St. Swithin’s Day:

I wasn’t familiar with St. Swithin’s day on July 15th other than the fact that it’s also my mother’s birthday, so I will now use it as more of a marker for the year ahead. While the mythos is more in regard to summer weather, I considered it more of a symbolic reasoning of whether or not Dexter and Emma were going to have a good or bad year. For instance, many of the rainy days it seems that the whole next year that they had terrible experiences while on the sunny days their lives seemed to be getting better. For instance, it was raining on the day Emma died and then Dex had a rough year ahead while other years that it was sunny were years where on the sunny days where when Emma and Dex had lots of love in their lives, whether it be with each other or others. One of the best examples of this is when they go on holiday together in Greece and get very flirtatious with each other but are too coy to do anything but skinny-dip. 

Yin and Yang:

Toward the beginning of the book, Dexter gets a yin and yang tattoo while on holiday. In my opinion, it greatly resembles their differences and similarities to each other. Not only does it represent their personalities and how they complement each other, but it also seems to foreshadow that when one of their lives was great, the other’s was terrible. Together they are strong. Apart, not so much. They were two halves of a whole and they needed each other to balance.

Making a difference:

The first lines of the novel are these quips between Em and Dex:

E: “I suppose the important thing is to make some sort of difference… you know, actually change something.”

D: “What, like ‘change the world,’ you mean?”

E: “Not the whole entire world. Just the little bit around you.”

This theme is super important throughout the whole story as they both take on the world in their own ways and I had to go back and re-read the first page again after finishing the book to really understand and enjoy the impact of the theme.

I think both Emma and Dex made an impact on the “little bit around” them, but just not in the ways they expected. Dex wanted to be a famous media professional and life-long womanizing bachelor, yet he ends up becoming a divorcee (and widower), has-been tv-presenter, and a single dad. Emma, on the other hand, became a children’s author instead of an activist or journalist and never got to have her own biological child despite becoming interested in motherhood toward the end of her life. She didn’t publish anything Nobel Prize winning or Earth-shattering like she wanted to, but she did shatter Dexter’s life for better and for worse. 

Re-readability:

Would I read this book again? Probably not because it is a very emotional book and rather long as it is single spaced and over four hundred pages. On the plus side, this is the best romance novel that I have ever read. I appreciate that is not super lovey-dovey gooey and gets into the real issues of cheating, drinking, family, self-esteem, depression, loneliness, and loss. It’s raw and real and isn’t unrealistic like those Fabio-model romance novels your naughty housewives read and war romance novels (ie: Nicholas Sparks).

[humansun]

i am v v v v v privileged. and im processing that. AF

Written September 30th, 2022 at 10:54PM

OK. Unpopular but low-key popular opinion - don’t giant words make you feel like the person who’s using them is pretentious? I feel like it’s significantly worse when it’s coming out the mouth of a white man because I already have pre-made judgements there. LOL

I think my white people patience has gotten lower over the past couple events, but that’s okay, because I still have love for the nice ones, but I’m learning how to best protect myself against others and how to keep an eye out for when I am being treated unfairly.

Apart from those random tidbits, today was a jam-packed day. Yesterday night, I almost wrote, but decided to confide in a friend about what I was feeling. I definitely have fear in me about employers mistreating me, so I want to be conscious about this in the future. Toxicity shows up in insidious ways, so being on guard from time to time is reasonable.

I’ve been devoting a lot of time to work because I have a lot of heart, I’m realizing, and that’s good, but I don’t want to overdo it when I don’t have to. Working with the person I am working with now is the closest thing to a dream job. I want to keep doing film, Asian American stories, and I want to grow wiser every single day. There are so many people in the world - that’s what I was thinking about today!

Yesterday night I binge watched random Youtube videos about celebrities being silly and funny TikTok compilations just so I could feel something (lol) and it made me think really deeply about celebrities and people in general. This in combination with what happened with my supervisor calling me out on a mistake I made made me think so much about the Emmy’s or red carpet events or places and spaces where there is an honoring of the most talented and amazing people in entertainment.

To a certain extent, yes. I think that a lot of the people in these rooms are talented and are extremely deserving of their awards and recognition. But, I also think about how much some of them already were set with a certain amount of privilege to even get further in their path. Same goes for me. Being an American citizen has an incredible amount of global privilege whether traveling, living in a different country, or pursuing a career and becoming successful at it. And this is not to say that folks in other countries cannot pursue their own careers and make amazing lives for themselves, but sometimes their opportunities look different than folks who grew up in the U.S. for example. (I am also acknowledging how ethnocentric this whole entire realization could be, and I welcome all perspectives and folks who challenge my thoughts please!)

My privilege is just very salient right now. After watching all those random pop culture videos. Like some of the people in those rooms aren’t even that talented. This sounds so mean, but like! I feel like people in Vietnam or Ghana are so freaking talented and amazing, but they don’t get the platform that all of these dumbs Americans do. You get me. So like, all of these shitty Americans are living so lavishly and while being dumber and less informed about the world, while there are folks who are so bright and can fuck anyone over because they’re whip-smart.

I don’t know. Lots of thoughts. Tonight was super fun. I love love love having discussions about movies, art, writing, philosophy, politics, and society. I learned so much about indie filmmaking in the past two months and I feel like I was struck with a thunderbolt of luck to be able to work on a mainly Vietnamese-American female production. It was bound to happen. Biggest takeaways:

There is an endless amount of ways you can tell a story. You just have to do the best you can to do a story justice.

Once you make the movie - whether half or the whole thing - you will still feel like there are things that are undone and incomplete. 

Even when you finish the movie, you can still feel like: now what?

There is always ways to learn. I love that about Elizabeth. I want to always keep this same essence. Take all criticisms not personally but ways to improve in every way!

Favorite feedback from the night: Don’t let the story answer before the audience gets to ask the question. The reason why this feedback hit really hard for me is because I have been told this with my own writing from my sister and I want to learn how to do this better and I know I will master it one day. Give me some time! Or I guess I’ll give myself some time.

Being intentional about your storytelling and working away at it everyday to craft it into what you want exactly is the best way to make the best piece of work that you can.

I am so inspired. I can’t fucking wait for more life. I love living even when things suck. I’m going to be so great. I’m already so great! Happy end of September. <3 Cue Earth, Wind, & Fire please.

P.S. One day I feel like this blog will be discovered and like..I’ll get shamed or just like, denied from society. But the thing is, the real ones will know that this is really just me writing about my human experience. Get me?

[islesnucks]

Hi clara!😁 i’m new to hockeyblr and have been following you for a bit but i’m trying to branch out a bit more and wanted to know if you have any blog recommendations? and why? (mostly asking you for islanders blogs but if you know any avalanche blogs too that’d be great hehe) thank you xo

heyyy well first of all welcome!! here we cry a little, laugh a little, we bully them sometimes other times praise them, its a mess but it's fun.

i dont know if youre more into live blogging the games, edits, gifs, fics, stats or what, so here are some of my favorite blogs here that post isles stuff and we so happen to be mutuals lol

its gonna be long so buckle up

@sorokaaa - ali is so fun love everything she posts during games amazing content just overall she posts great clips and memes and also she's super talented her drawings are amazing, also she's the president of the ilya sorokin protection squad

@2manytabsopen - kesh is a literal sunshine her blog inst exactly like 100% hockey themed but she's the best so nice you won't regret following her and im not saying this just because were the same person in different countries ;)

@hotgirlhockey - we love mel, she does it all: live blogs games, gifs, writes, gives hockey facts in case you dont understand something, plus super nice so the whole package

@barbienoturbby - b is super nice and fun i can't count the amount of times her lb made me laugh and her gifs and edits are just *chef's kiss* so worth following her

@heybarzy - amaaaaazing writing really everything abby writes i love so if youre into reading focs go follow her plus she writes for so many different players

@mondieumat - this woman is constatky introducing me to new hot hockey players if i simp too much its 100% her fault and she enables my dilf obsession thats a good friend, plus super nice and fun, also im 99% sure shes also into avs

@hockstuff - if you ever dont understand something about hockey c has the answer, her knowledge its just infinite surprises me every day, plus also super nice and funny and friendly and i think she also likes the avs

@fallinallincurls - amazing writing wonderful incredible seriously so talented (she actually just posted a barzy fic ive been saving to read for when i have free time because i really wanna pay attention to every single word, that level of amazing writing)

@matbarzls - another amazing writer plus she live blogs isles games and its just so fun go follow caitee also she just hit 550 so let's get her to 600 now like she deserves

@calgarycanuck - im not sure if Claudia live blogs games for the isles buuuut she does write so amazing pieces for some isles players so if that's what you're looking for 100% go follow her

@ollywahlygator - looove their olly pieces since not many people write for him plus super fun during games and im almost sure they also likes the avs

@matwith1t - ok ok ok the way I fangirl whenever she posts a new barzy pieces is embarrassing buuuut I do because they are just really that amazing alli is the Shakespeare of barzy fics

@cherrylita - beautiful mood boards for like every player i know seriously dont know how luna finds so many amazing pics queen of the mood boards also super nice and friendly

@grubauerr - I think we started following each other recently but let me tell you gabbie is so fun her post during games just hilarious and she's making me an avs fan

@sorokns - also recently started following each other but she's so friendly and fun just hilarious really during games, we share our love for dilfs and ilya sorokin thats says it all and she's also making me an avs fan

@cherrymaybank - if you've been following me you probably know her we freak out over the isles together almost every single day so she's really fun and nice and also she writes what else could you need???

@rosesvioletshardy - another amazing writer (seeing a pattern here?) but apart from that super nice and friendly and also an avs fan

@iwantahockeyhimbo - just overall super nice friendly, live blogs for the isles, one of the first blogs I started following here and haven't regretted it ever since

@broadstflyers - more amazing writes, her piece gold rush its serious incredible so worth reading, go read it right now

@honeybearbarzal - and even more amazing writers that I follow, kali has some incredible pieces some of my fav barzy fics ever

(edit) I almost forgot @tysonsjosty because I still associate her with her old crosby name lol - ok taylor also another amazing writer from hockeyblr plus she writes from some players that don't get the hype they deserve here *cough* nico hischier, Phil myers and Alex lyon *cough* so go follow her for incredible fics!!

ok I probably forgot a lot of people and this basically turned into a love letter to some of my mutuals but whatever, you asked I deliver, those are some of my fav blogs here that post isles (and some avs) related stuff

I've met some other amazing people here but they dont post about the isles, however they are super nice if you want just ask and I'll give you more great people to follow

also side note: sorry if I got anything wrong like pronouns or what you actually post or your team im doing all of this from memory so big chance I forgot or wrote something wrong