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bitchassbucky · 4 years ago

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Word Count: 2k

Warning/s: toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, gaslighting and manipulation, abduction, injuries were mentioned, stalking, dark!bucky x dark!reader, emotionally/mentally unstable!reader, dismemberment (not gore-y but still), three very special character mentions, shady corporate stuff, career sabotage?, food mention, sedation/drugging, f-words.

A/N: oh my god, this is the final chapter of CTRL. to all who read from the start, thank y'all so fucking much - from the bottom of my big-ass heart, thank you so much for coming along with this journey. this is my first FINISHED series, oh my god. to @babyboibucky (CTRL's number one fan), @sarge-barnes-sir, and @borikenlove thank you so much for indulging my inner degenerate GHJSDFG and for screaming (affectionately) at me when i first let y'all read the finished draft.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END (just yet), i will be uploading TWO epilogues very soon: the explicit version and the not-so-explicit version. stay tuned!

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

epilogue:

.eps (explicit)

.eps (cut)

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

Your demeanor, character, even tone, changed.

Calculated, cold, unnerving.

But you sat there like a housewife in front of her husband, eating spaghetti and meatballs. Acting all dandy like there isn’t a man strapped onto the chair four feet away from you.

“C’mon, darling, eat! I made your favorite,” your eyes twinkled as Bucky helplessly tugged on his restraints, “oh, sorry, you’re tied up.”

Hm, sick in the head, bad for the heart.

“What do you want?” Oh, wow, even talking hurts for him. His throat is all dried up, he tasted something bitter under his tongue.

You chuckled, moving half a meatball around your mostly empty plate, “for you to stop treating me like I’m stupid.” You spear the meat with your fork, swirling it in the sauce, “I know you’ve been… checking in on me, Bucky.”

Oh, fuck.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was-- I mean, look at you--” He’s making it worse. You’re mad. You’re angry because he was being a good friend.

He only did that because you were lonely and he’s right: you are lonely.

So lonely that you’re willing to kidnap a grown man to keep you company, “I’m so sad for you.”

“You’re aware you’re the one’s been tied up, right?” You’re curt as you should be, scooting over near Bucky to feed him.

“I can’t eat that—” If he wasn’t sitting down and tied, Bucky would’ve vaulted over you and called the neighbors, she’s fucking crazy!

You giggled, rolling your eyes as if he had the freedom to make a choice right now, “if you’re thinking of screaming… More than half of my neighbors are felons or on parole, I doubt that they’ll call 911.”

Jutting forward the fork, you let the prongs gently touch Bucky’s lips, “now, eat! We have so much to talk about.”

“No. I don’t-- I’m not hungry.” He shakes his head, the fork hitting his chin and clanking down the floor.

“Just eat the fucking food, Steve!”

Bucky flinched at your sudden outburst. The words—the name—seeping in a moment later. Steve? Who the hell is Steve? Was he your husband? Boyfriend? His head throbbed again, his mouth filling with saliva like he’s about to throw up.

You kneel down, pulling a napkin from the table to wipe the meat and the sauce from the floor.

“This better not stain.”

—

He promised thrice.

Once over pasta and meatballs, once over dessert, and once when you were clearing the table.

You relented, of course. Half because you love him and half because it’s getting annoying.

“As long as you don’t leave me, okay?”

“Yes, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

Bucky’s still seating on the dinner chair, slightly slumped without the ropes holding him up, “look, I’m really sorry about the anesthetic, I went overboard with it.” You look over to him—at least he’s regaining his fingers and arms again.

“It’s okay, babe, I wouldn’t trust me either.” If he could stand up, he’d go over and hug you. Helping with the dishes, peppering you with sweet kisses.

A genuine laugh slips out of your lips, “ugh, still… I’m really sorry.”

The last of the plates were neatly stacked, cups and cutleries were placed gently on a drying rack. It was getting late, you could tell.

“I’m not mad, by the way.” You muse, prompting Bucky to lean forward, listening to you.

“What do you mean?” He takes your hand into his, ever so gently.

“You did that,” you squeeze his hand back, gazing into his soulful eyes, “because you love me.”

Did you know that some people could read microexpressions well? Bucky went through a whole lot of them before answering, “of course, I do.”

Contemplating whether you call him out on it or not, you hum, placing a gentle hand on his jaw, “it’s okay, you’ll learn how to love me.”

He has to. He has no other choice.

Bucky clears his throat, “have you seen my phone?” His tone was hopeful, upbeat, maybe he can reach out to someone, anyone, before you can do any more damage.

“Yeah, ‘s on the couch.”

He tried to move, he really did. Bucky’s fairly strong, he can bench an easy 140 on a good day. But even the beefiest motherfuckers have no match for Propofol.

“Don’t worry about your friends, they’re not worried about you, Buck.” The coolness of your tone sends Bucky into a panic—again. “D’you wanna check your messages though? There’s a lot of ‘em.”

Grabbing his phone, you asked Siri to read him his latest notifications.

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

From Joaquin: Where are you, man?

From John W.: Do you have copies?

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

Urgent: Gross Misconduct

From Joaquin: Bucky, what the fuck?

From Samuel Wilson: Pick up the phone, Barnes. You’re fired.

17 missed calls from an unknown number

From John W.: I knew you were a freak but holy shit, dude!

72 text messages from an unknown number

Bucky never really liked horror movies. It made him jumpy and anxious. Too paranoid, even. But now? Now he’s sure that people have never experienced sheer fright before.

His toes cramped inside his boots, his feet were cold, sweating. The little hairs on his legs stood up, goosebumps littering the entirety of his body. If he held his breath, he’s sure he could hear his heart hammering out of his chest. The blood rushes past his ears and onto the base of his skull—he’s gonna be sick.

“What,” he gulped back the saliva pooling in his mouth, “what did you do?”

You’re irritatingly calm, “well, I mean… We’re already together, what do you need those for, right?”

Putting a warm hand over his forehead, you cooed, “poor thing, you look sick.”

—

Bucky thinks it’s well past midnight when the anesthetic wore off.

His limbs were heavy, he had to lean on the wall every couple of steps to regain his balance. Helpless. He’s helpless and you both know it. As if it’s a bear trap, Bucky carefully took his phone from the coffee table.

Why would you leave it unattended?

The screen lights up as soon as he picked up, his lock screen littered with ‘fuck yous’, ‘sicko’, and his personal favorite, ‘motherfucker.’

Ignoring the glaring messages, he went straight for the emergency dialler and—you took out his SIM card, snapping it into two neat pieces, placing it beside the phone.

Bitch.

The golden surface of the card was scratched too, he can’t do anything, use it as a toothpick, maybe? His phone was just as good as a paperweight.

He looks out of the window, limping towards it. Even if he could climb over, it would take him forever to get onto the street. Your neighbors would probably think that he’s just on a bad trip.

“It’s bolted shut. Perks of living alone as a single female.” Your voice made him flinch back, like a kid whose hand was halfway down the cookie jar.

Bucky plays it off with a cough, he can’t be weak now, “no, babe, I was checking out a noise. You ready for bed?”

You smiled softly, taking his hand and draping his arm on your shoulders as you prop him against you, “almost, big guy. Gotta get you settled in bed first. Are you tired?”

Nodding, Bucky kisses your temple, “yeah.” He just needs to play with your sick little games until he regains his strength.

Where would he go? His reputation and his job are besmirched, his apartment is probably crawling with forensics too.

“You fell down and banged your head earlier. Nasty cut on your head too. I told you to not tire yourself much.”

You hit and drugged me but I digress, “Yes, darling. ‘M sorry.”

“You scared me, Buck. I thought you were dead.” Are these tears forming in your eyes?

“I’m not leaving you, not by any chance. I promise.”

He promises a fourth time.

—

Your bedroom was bigger than he thought. But of course, he only saw your desk and your bed through the webcam.

Save from the Ted Bundy-esque corkboard you have in front of your workspace, he feels weirdly at home. You tucked him in, reminding him to wake up every two hours for the painkillers.

“You’re not going to bed?” He muses from behind you, all cocooned in your blankets.

“Just need to take this phone call real quick, babe.” Your back was turned from him as you work on your company laptop. He noticed that the webcam is covered with white tape.

The sound of an incoming call filled the room before you quickly answer it, your voice turning hoarse and raspy as if you’ve been crying.

Hi, Mr. Wilson. I’m so sorry for the late call. Do I- do I need to come in tomorrow? I just... I don’t feel comfortable facing everyone—I used all my home hours this week and—

Miss L/N, I’m glad you reached out to me. Is it okay if I record this call for security purposes? It’s just for you, me, and the HR department.

You turned to Bucky, your face is stone-cold but your voice belonged to someone so utterly helpless.

No, you don’t have to call into work tomorrow… Or any other day.

A dainty gasp and a fucking sob comes out of your mouth, your eyes were telling a different story.

Am I fired?

God, no. Please, Miss L/N, don’t worry about that. We want you with us through this entire debacle. We want you to take some time off—paid. We’ll also grant you… a grievance package.

You could almost hear what he would say next.

As long as you don’t talk to any members of the press or any journalists until our friends in the PR department can clean this up.

A triumphant smile creeps on your bare features, putting a finger in front of your lips, you mimic a ‘shh’ gesture to Bucky.

You round up another mirthless sob as the CEO drones on about the bureaucracy of this whole thing.

He was really nice to me, you know? He took me out on dinners and lunches. He even brought me to his place and I– nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m really sorry, Miss L/N. I thought he was…

A good guy? I really thought so too.

Please stay offline for a bit, just for the weekend, alright? Someone from the HR department will be in touch with you for the process. We don’t wanna be a hassle more than what Barnes is. On our behalf, please accept our deepest apologies.

Jesus, this guy had the PR department cook up an apology letter.

Thank you—thank you so much, Mr. Wilson. I’ll keep in touch.

You burst out in laughter a second after the call ended. Hearty laughter, the one where you can feel your belly tightening.

“Did you hear how good I was, baby? Oh my god, we had them fooled.”

We? Fuck your ‘we.’

You slide over the covers, propping up yourself with your elbow as you turn to face Bucky, “don’t worry, you don’t need them anymore. You have me, yeah? We have each other.”

—

Out of the most bizarre things that happened to him last week, finding dismembered fingers in the fridge was the least of his concerns.

“Honey!” Bucky calls out, holding the ziplock bag with a pair of tongs.

You bound down the stairs, your laptop in hand as you squint, “what am I looking at?”

Bucky hesitated, maybe he’s going insane too, “fingers. Dismembered fingers—are these yours?”

Setting down the laptop onto the table, you peck him on the cheek, smiling as if him holding a baggie with human remains is just your Sunday normal, “god, I hope not. I need my hands to do things.”

As soon as you look back at him, you dropped the facade: “those are Steve’s. Well, used to be.”

Bucky’s afraid to ask the question where’s the rest of him?

“You know the term pinky promise, right? Well, it has a dark origin.”

Just as fast as a bustling train, Bucky rakes his brain for all the times he promised you something. Hoping that he won’t end up with a stump for a hand.

One vividly bright memory is seared into his brain though, the days blurred together with sharp edges and mismatched colors: we love how we were taught to love.

So, who taught you how to love like this?

#bitchassbucky writes #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky x reader smut #dark!bucky x reader fluff #dark!bucky x reader angst #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader smut #dark!bucky barnes x reader angst #dark!bucky barnes x reader fluff

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botheredbuck · 3 years ago

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hi hello my name is leo and here’s the post that literally no one asked for about how three by sleeping at last is written for one evan buckley (with lyric references!)

maybe i’ve done enough and your golden child grew up

listen this is literally about the buckley parents. he spent so long trying to be the perfect son for his parents, trying to solve whatever he’d done to them, trying desperately to just be enough for them and breaking himself in the process. he literally tore himself apart trying to be just something to them. he talks to maddie when he visits her in the hospital (in buck begins) about them thinking he’s a loser and literally begs her to believe him when he says he’s going to be something one day. that’s the effect his parents had on him. and when his parents come back in what’s your grievance/buck begins and he finally gets to tell them how they made him feel his whole life, and that convo with them at the end of buck begins, i think that’s the beginning of him kind of being able to say i’ve grown up now, and yeah what you did will always hurt me but i can move past it now, because i have my own family, i’ve found somewhere where i actually belong. and with the 118, he doesn’t have to be that golden child

(sure, there’s the protective, kinda mentoring instinct between him and bobby that we see a lot through the early parts of season one especially, but even with that there’s never this expectation that buck’s gotta be perfect - gotta be the golden child. bobby’s trying to help him be a better firefighter and grow as a person but there’s never that pressure that there was with his parents.

oh and hey maybe that’s why the lawsuit happens because the whole thing about bobby holding him back feels too much like his parents underestimating him, never believing in him (they think i’m a total loser maddie, and i’m not, i’m not okay- i’m gonna be something, i just- don’t know what yet) and it’s hard beause bobby has never made him feel like that but it’s just a little too close)

maybe this trophy isn’t real love

this lyric. i do not give it enough appreciation but holy fuck. okay but, its like- it fits well with this whole idea that buck grew up with that he always had to deserve love, yanno? like his parents’ neglect basically taught him that he had to be putting himself in danger and hurting himself to be worth even attention. and it’s like- with the 118, he’s finally getting to realise that maybe that’s not how love is supposed to work. he’s been brought up with the idea that he needs to work for this love because otherwise if he’s not good enough people will leave. and this doesn’t even finish with his parents. this goes all the way through to abby, to ali. he has this deep rooted fear that if he’s not good enough then people will leave him, because that’s all he’s really had. and then this lyric- it’s like, him realising that this version of love that his parents fed him isn’t real love, isn’t how parents should love their kids, or how families should care for each other. and it’s just buck’s realisation that this tokenistic love isn’t something that he has to settle for, because it’s not real love.

and with or without it i’m good enough maybe i’ve done enough

this kinda carries on from the first point but it’s like, buck finally getting to realise that he doesn’t need his parents love to be worth shit. like his whole childhood he was just trying to be what his parents wanted in the desperate hope that they would see him. and now he’s found this place he really belongs and in the 118 he’s found these people he really belongs with, and it’s like- suddenly he doesn’t need to try- doesn’t need to work to be loved. and it’s like, he’s realising that he doesn’t need to change himself to be worth shit.

a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell but i’m slowly learning how to break this spell

this- it’s just- the whole thing about buck getting therapy in s4. for so long he’s not really talked to anyone about the shit he’s been through, like even we see in what’s your grievance that the 118 basically know nothing about the buckleys. because buck doesn’t even talk about his past to them really, because he’s so ashamed of it. but him finally being able to go to therapy and work on it, it’s like- he’s slowly learning how to undo all this shit that his parents drilled into him, like about him never being good enough and about him having to work for their love and attention and change himself. and he’s finally learning, with therapy and with the 118 reteaching him all this shit about love (and not even romantic, like buddie is a whole other thing don’t even get me started, like familial love), how to get past his parents and realise that he is worthy of love, regardless of anything else.

and i finally see myself through the eyes of no one else

oh shit but this is important and all right. like. it’s just a little thing but it’s like, buck trying to move on from letting what other people thought of him control him. i think this is something that he’s working on, and something that comes with time, because i think it’s something we see a lot throughout the show. i think it kinda contributes to the whole buck 1.0 thing, like sure a lot of why he wants to move on from ‘buck 1.0′ is about moving on and being a better man and stuff but i think it’s also this thought of being embarrassed of himself, almost? idk but look he has a lot of issues with seeing himself as good enough without the influence of others and i think this lyric links a lot to that.

now i only want what’s real to let my heart feel what it feels

again this fits with the whole therapy thing as well but it’s like- throughout the show he’s always been a very heart-on-his-sleeve kinda guy. like that’s just who he is. but like this- to let my heart feel what it feels - its like about him being allowed to be proud of how far he’s come and everything he’s been through with his parents and even after that. and its about him allowing himself to love unashamedly and without fear of people abandoning him, and not like letting that fear stop him from loving. and like yeah im gonna touch on buddie here bc like, it’s like after all this shit, everything that the two of them have been through, it’s like, that line is like him letting himself feel that for eddie, whatever it is. because for so long he’s not let himself get that connection after abby because she hurt him like that and he’s not let himself have this connection with eddie out of fear that it’s not going to be reciprocated or tat he’s a terrible person for falling in love with his best friend or some shit but it’s like- that line is like him allowing himself to feel that, and like that just being okay? like he’s finally getting to accept that he’s fallen in love with this increibleman and his incredible son and the life that he’s built with them, and like it’s about buck falling in love with that life and trusting that it’s not going to disappear from under his feet. and that takes buck a lot of courage because he’s only ever had people that left. and so he’s finally letting his heart feel , and letting his heart guide him, because he deserves it.

and like even out of a buddie context, with the rest of the 118, it still applies. this shit about letting his heart feel what it feels, it’s like- letting himself believe that this life is something that he can have, that he can settle into, that he can keep. it’s like- he can love these people, and not have to see them leave. and that’s a revolutionary thing for buck, but it’s so freeing.

and leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk worthy of love anyway

holy fuck this is like, my favourite lyric ever okay but again it’s this idea that he has to work to be loved. he has to fight for attention and for appreciation and for love and like this lyric, it’s about him being able to move on from that and realise that he’s worthy of love at his rawest, without all this work and putting himself at risk. and sure im going back on my buddie bullshit for this but like- it’s eddie that makes him realise this. sure it’s the influence of the whole 118 and maddie and shit but it’s eddie most of all. eddie, who has dealt with his bullshit first hand (the whole jealousy thing in 2x01) and come through it by his side, still wanting to be his friend. eddie, who appreciates him and helps him and supports him and trusts him with his son. eddie, who forgives him, even when, yeah, sometimes he doesn’t need forgiving but then it’s eddie that tells him that (the post-tsunami stuff at the end of 3x03) and reassures him that he’s worthy. eddie, who fights by him and for him and desperately, constantly, tries to make him realise he’s so much more than what his parents deem him to be. eddie, who tells him that he doesn’t have to apologise just for existing and expecting the bare minimum of love from his parents (the boxing scene in - i think? - 4x04). eddie, who fights to get back to him. eddie, who trusts him so much with christopher that he’ll change his will for him. eddie, that loves him. right at his rawest, without all that work, with all his greatest failiures on display. because it’s eddie who’s seen most of that shit, and it’s eddie who’s stayed. who’s made him realise he’s worthy of love, anyway.

...um

thank you for coming to my ted talk listen to three by sleeping at last and tell me that there is at least some sense in this pls im driving myself up the wall istg

#evan buckley #buddie #eddie diaz #911 #911 fox #911 on fox #leo writes hcs #...maybe it's me that needs therapy.#this is almost two thousand words holy fuck #i can write this but not fic? wow thanks brain

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always-on-tatooine · 4 years ago

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MaulxReader part 8: The Escape

Finally getting to this part of the story (this has been rolling around in my head since winter break). At the same time, I’m happy I gave this story the time it’s needed to develop. Also, I’m so happy for all the friends I’ve met on here so far. I really appreciate everyone’s support.

Unfortunately, school is really ramping up so big sections like this will be coming out much slowly. I’ll still be working on this story but until break I will probably only be posting small blurbs. Also, I’m thinking of trying some other side projects too. (yes, most of them will consist of our favorite grumpy red Zabrack)

Also thinking of making an ao3 account too. I’ll keep you all updates if I do so.

Warning: Mentions of violence/wounds to reader, action sense, explosions, and strong emotions. As always, let me know if I missed anything

Masterlist link: https://always-on-tatooine.tumblr.com/post/640968824459526144/shooting-stars-maulxreader-masterlist

3.8k word count. Enjoy :)

@justalittlecloud @a-dorin @hornystarwarsbisexual @mother-0f-monsters @lovelyzabrak-meadow @pinkiemme @maulieber @joslynuniverse @dollar-tree-witchcraft @lalalandbutbetter @zabrak-show @secretmaul @jedi-bitch @helloladyvanilla @enchantress666

Waves of questions and confusion were overwhelming, as (y/n) took in her surroundings. In what was less than a minute of holding her head down, the room once full of mob guards was now littered with dead bodies. The only one left standing held a strange glowing red weapon as it plummeted into the man who almost killed her. Who was the single survivor of this outmatched battle? She knew his name was Maul, and that she had provided housing for him over this past week. Yet here and now, (y/n) realized how little she knew about the man who just saved her life.

One of the glowing beams of Maul’s weapon retracted, releasing its hold on Lysscol’s body. Leaving the former mob boss motionless on his throne, Maul walked over to (y/n). “Hold still,” his command was soft as one swoop of the remaining end of his weapon cut through her cuffs. Reaching a black gloved hand towards the freed captive he asked, “Are you ok?” (Y/n) did not know how to respond. So many questions ran through her head, yet none were able to find their way out, “What…? How…?”

Helping her off the ground Maul looked her over, “Are you able to move on your own?” (Y/n) looked deeply into his tattooed face. Who was this man? “Yes, but…”

Maul retracted the other end of his weapon, “Then we have to hurry. We may have killed their leader, but they will still come for us.” Pulling his hood back over his head, he grabbed (y/n)’s hand and led her out of the throne room.

In the hallways, more guards laid on the floor. Rushing past them, the farmer was only able to get a glimpse of their condition; large slash wounds had cut though the guards chest plates, inflicting a deadly blow. Before, (y/n) could process the scene, the two were already past the alley way and rushing into the streets.

The pair moved fast, yet stayed within the crowd, maneuvering through the groups of people as not to be seen. Still holding Maul’s hand, she did her best to keep up with him as he led her though the streets. Finally gaining the nerves, (y/n) asked, “How did you know where to find me?”

“Only an organized syndicate would be able to push the number of weapons you were selling. So, I looked for their usual hiding places until I found the right one.”

His remark did not satisfy (y/n)’s scrutiny. Remembering back, Victor Lysscol had seemed so familiar with Maul. As if they knew each other. “You said you had given them orders. Are you a part of the syndicate?”

“Something like that…”

“Then what was that weapon you killed him with? Those blades you were using. I thought those were Jedi swords.” She could feel his hand tighten at the name of the legendary space monks. “Jedi are not the only ones who know how to use a lightsaber…” the words rolled off his lips with anger, yet his unpleasant facial expression would be left to the imagination as it was hidden by his hood.

“Then how did you…?” (y/n) wanted to continue her interrogations, but Maul cut her off. “I will answer your question later. Right now, we need to get out of this town. You are now marked by the Crymorah’s. That means if they ever see you again, then they will kill you without a second thought.” The tone of urgency in his voice was enough to make her stop. Taking her saviors advice, she focused on keeping up with him as they headed back to the shop.

Quick on their feet, the two arrived back to the shop shortly after their conversation ended. Madam Rekstall now stood under the awning of the vegetable stand, as she had agreed to watch the shop while Maul had gone to retrieve (y/n). “Thank the maker you’re ok,” the psychic embraced her old friend in a big embrace, “I told you I foresaw one of your deals going wrong if you kept doing business with those mobsters.” Brushing some hair out of the farmer’s hair, she could see the bruise that was forming, gifted on her cheek by the late Lysscol, “It looks like they did a number on you, but it could have been a lot worse…”

(Y/n) ignored the pain on her face. Still in shock, she was trying to piece everything together. “Is that how Maul knew to find me? You saw it in one of your visions?” Madam Rekstall shook her head, “Oh no my dear, he was quite capable of sensing your danger without my help. I just simply took over the shop when he ran over to go save you.” (Y/n) looked over at her savior, who was now starting to pack what few vegetable crates were left. He was the once who sensed she was in danger? But how?

Still holding the farmer in her arms, the psychic began to speak again. Yet her words would fall on deaf ears as (y/n) was still compartmentalizing everything she had just witnessed. She watched as her old friend’s mouth moved, yet she could not hear a sound. Even the sounds of Maul hastily gathering the shop, the bustle coming from the open road beside her, and all the other overwhelming sounds of the city, all became an incoherent hum. Out of all the noses that surrounded her, the only thing she could make out was the sound of a radio. Specifically, a small radio that sat on the counter of another nearby shop stand. Looking over, she could see two men standing under the awning, listening to the broadcast as well.

‘We're here to interrupt this program with breaking news. The war is over now! The Separatists have all been defeated by the Republic Army. Counselor Palpatine, who’s leadership has recently been extended under jurisdiction of war, has announced that with the war over, The Council will now declare a new kind of republic. One that will unite the entire galaxy under one Empire.’

“Did you hear that?” (y/n) hear the man standing behind the shop counter ask, “the war is over now!” “Thank the maker,” the other man chimed in, “maybe this new empire will do something to clean up this slum planet.”

Watching the scene unfold, (y/n) wanted to join the men in their enthusiasm. The end of this drawn-out war between the Republic and the Separatists should be a good thing, right? Despite how good it sounded, something inside said otherwise. She could feel her insides start to twist as shivers ran down her spine. Something deep inside told her this was wrong. Then she remembered what Victor Lysscol had said in the throne room. ‘New governments mean new business,’ could this have been what he was referring to? Either way, the unsettlement she felt within was enough to tell her the end of this war would not bring anything good…

(Y/n) was only broken by this strange state she found herself in, by the feeling of Maul’s hand on her shoulder. During her trance-like state, Madam Rekstall must have walked away, as her hooded friend was the only one standing near her now. How long was she out?

“We can’t stay any longer. If we do not leave this town, it will only be a matter of time until they find us.” The sharpness in his voice reminded her of the paramount of the situation they were in. Grounding back into reality, she realized he was right. Nodding her head in agreement to the Zabrak, (y/n) headed over to the wagon to help pack what was left.

Madam Rekstall now watched as the two quickly finished gathering their things. Folding one of her sets of arms, she started, “Do you have a plan on how to defend yourselves if they come for you out there on the plains?” (Y/n) was already mounting her jumper, getting ready to make their escape. Shaking off the eerie feeling of what she just experienced, she tried to compose back to her usual self.

“You know I have one of the best security systems on this planet. Lysscol’s men know it too. If they even have the Reek balls to try to take us on, then they won’t make it back in one peace.” Rekstall rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Maul who had taken his place among the few crates that were left in the wagon. “Please take care of her out there. I haven’t seen any harm coming your guy’s way. Please don’t prove me wrong.”

Maul looked over at (y/n) who was now starting the jumper. She would have died if he had not interfered. Yet now that the Crymorah Syndicate knew that she was connected to him, their grievance with the young farmer may only get worse. It was clear to him now, that in his current situation, he would be incapable of controlling the different crime families. If they were willing to betray him and disobey his orders, then his association with (y/n) meant they would stop at nothing to kill them both. ‘It’s her fault for getting herself into this mess,’ he thought to himself. Yet despite how much he tried to pass on the responsibility in his head, he could not deny the fact that she had been the only person to help him since he crashed on this planet. The causation to the state they found themselves seemed irrelevant as he felt it was his duty to protect her now. Over the sounds of the jumper engine starting, he insured, “I promise, no harm will come to her.”

The farmer pulled the jumper and attached wagon out of their parking space. Looking over at the psychic, (y/n) called over, “Thank you for watching over the shop! I owe you one.” As the jumper began to pull away, Madam Rekstall called back, “Just be safe out there,” she waved an arm, “and may the force be with you!”

The force? Her bike was already too far away to ask why her old friend had given her such a strange farewell. Weaving through the populated streets, (y/n) made her way out of the city. After some much careful driving between the hordes people, the pair had made it out. As tall clay buildings turned into flat grasslands, (y/n) felt that they had made their getaway. With the city behind them, she was able to pick up some speed on the open road. With fewer crates than they had that morning, they were able to move faster than before. It would not be long until the two would be home, and safe.

Unknown to (y/n) and Maul, only moments after they left, two men on speeders arrived at the shop stand they had been selling at. They wore mixed armor like the guards in the throne den had, yet more time had been put into their garb to attempt to make it look coherent. They did not say for long; once it was obvious that their targets had escaped, they got back on their bikes and headed toward the city outskirts. Madam Rekstall could only watch the scene unfold without gaining the attention of the armed men. Sitting in her fabricated chair, she smoked her pipe, attempting to not show interest in the guard’s inquisition. Only after the men left, did the psychic feel that it was safe to mutter to herself, “May the force keep them safe.”

**************

Only when they were out in the fields of grasslands was (y/n) able to gather herself. As long blades of pale blue grass were pushed away from the velocity of her speeder, the last hour that had unfolded replayed in her mind. The farmer understood that arms dealing with the Orkaron Mafia was a dangerous job. Just getting her hands on the various bits of blasters and armor had almost cost her life a few times. Yet out on a small planet such as this one, she could only sell as many vegetables as there were mouths to feed. She was always just one bad growing season from not being able to make a sustainable income. Her immoral and hazardous situation was not blind to her, but the need to eat and stay warm at night was overwhelming on a planet such as this.

Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Maul was alert as he sat in the back of the wagon. ‘Strange’ has been a term she had used to describe her new housemate over this past week. Now she was now beginning to see there was much more to him. It felt almost haunting now, to have had someone stay with her for a week and know so little about them. Yet right when she was about to be executed, he came in and took on a whole syndicate base, all by himself.

Executed… it really was a close call. Too close to (y/n)’s liking. It had been a long time since she had been in a situation where she had so little control. Danger was something she was used to. Yet each encounter she had out on this lawless planet, she always managed to have the upper hand. Yet today she was rendered powerless and was almost put down like an old Fathier. Helpless, it made her feel helpless. Tears that formed in her eyes were pushed to the sides of her face by the air that brushed against her vehicle. She had built this life of independence so that she would not need anyone’s help. Yet she would be dead now if it were not for Maul. It was not that she wasn't grateful to him, she just hated the feeling. ‘Helpless,’ the word repeated in her head again. A dreadful feeling, she had not felt in a long time. Not since she…

“Incoming,” Maul roared, waking her out of her thoughts. Over her shoulders, (y/n) could see two speeders behind them and getting closer by the second. The wagon was already slowing them down enough as it was, but as the bikes got rapidly closer, it became apparent that their speeders had been altered, allowing them to move even faster for occasions such as this. Once they were in firing distance, blaster shots started flying past the escaping pair, nearly hitting.

Maul was now standing in the back of the wagon, red sabers in hand he deflected the blasts as they came towards them. His deflections were flawless, yet the riders exhibited their maneuvering abilities; dodging each bullet that flew back. As they moved out of the way of the returning shots, Maul took the opportunity and turned to warn (y/n), “They're gaining on us! If we don’t do something soon, they may get close enough to crash the speeder!”

(Y/n) looked around the empty lands. There had to be something that could help them. That is when she saw it, off in the distance she could see her farm coming into view. They were almost to safety, she just had to make it there before their new ‘friends’ could catch them. “Hang on!” she called, as she pushed full throttle toward the hut.

The sounds of an overworked engine filled the space around them. With a slight jerk, the speeder gained speed, using all its power to carry their weight and the wagon with it. Despite their increase in speed, the riders managed to still get closer. Maul kept his balance as he continued to block the basters coming at them. “(Y/n), we need to do something fast! It’s too easy for them to overpower us at this rate!”

(Y/n) called back to them between shots, “Can your saber cut though the wagon hitch?” “Of course!” Maul called back. “Good, I need you to get on the back of my bake, and when I tell you, cut the wagon.”

In between the breaks of defecting shots, Maul took a glance towards the front of the speeder. The farm he had come to know was now in view. A few kilometers in front of it, he could see the familiar blinking lights hidden in the grass. (Y/n)’s plan was starting to make sense. Without hesitation he made his way to the speeder.

If Maul were anything like the legendary Jedi she had heard about, she figured that he would have no problem getting from the wagon to the attached speeder at these speeds. What she did not expect was for Maul to do so while still managing to stand. Just as he did in the wagon, he was now balancing on the back seat of the speeder, waving both ends of his saber around as he continued to block blast as they came their way.

There was no time to question how he was capable of any of this. The faint blinking posts were coming close at a rapid speed. (Y/n) knuckles grew lighter over the throttle as every bit of energy the engine could handle was headed right to it. It was only a few meters away when she changed her trajectory. Dropping all speed, she took a hard turn to the left. As the speeder spun around, she now faced the riders, who used to be right behind them, coming at them at full speed.

“Now!” she called. Just as effortless as Maul had cut her cuffs back in the throne room, it only took one sweep to release the wagon from its confines. As (y/n) continued to spin, the velocity sent the wagon flying in off in a distance, away from the chaos. Free from the weight of the wagon, the speeder had almost completed a full spin.

In sync with (y/n)’s unspoken plan, Maul maneuvered himself to a sitting position for what was about to happen next. With full speed, (y/n) now took off to the right, as the riders were almost in grabbing distance from them. Yet at their speed, they were unable to recorrect in time to follow. As their speeders continued to drive forward, the two grads went straight into the mine fields.

The last that would be seen of the riders was a series of explosions that only consumed a small section of the vast planes. Dust and flames filled the area where they had detonated one of the many hidden landmines. Even on hovering speeders, the pressure from the anti-gravity converters was enough to set them off. (Y/n) stopped and turned the bike so they could watch the spectacle. Though Maul was used to this kind of excitement, here on this humble planet, it seemed so out of place. As for (y/n), she was just relieved that her home security came in handy when they needed it.

When the flames died down, (y/n) drove over to the control pad she had used earlier that morning. Stopping the bike, the farmer got off the speeder and hit the switch. Buurrrrr the sound rang around them. Maul took the opportunity to stand up and address the young woman after such an encounter. “Very impressive strategy,” Maul complemented, “these traps really are excellently placed. I can now see how you’ve been able to take on so many…”

(Y/n) was faced away from him, but Maul could sense something was wrong. “(Y/n)?” The young farmer turned towards him; arms wrapped around herself as she was beginning to cry. Maul was shocked. Usually, she was so composed. So cocky. Yet here in this moment she was… vulnerable. Had today been too much for her?

Too much it was indeed. Waves of emotions flowed over (y/n) like an overwhelming sea. She did everything in her power to keep herself together, but after everything that had happened today. Being captured, almost dying, Maul saving her, and now this chase; it became too much to contain as tears began to fall from her face.

She did not want to be seen like this, especially not by Maul. He had already seen her chained to the floor and beaten, and then this? Clenching her eyes shut, she wanted to disappear into the tall grasses. ‘Helpless,’ the words flooded her mind as the dreaded feeling crept in again.

Yet, before the feeling could travel in her any farther, a warm sensation surrounded her. Opening her eyes, black cloth surrounded her as Maul began to hold her in his arms. His body felt slightly awkward, as if he had never given anyone a hug before. However, his arms around her were enough to make her start to cry even more. Barring herself further into the layers of black fabric, she released the feelings that had been overflowing inside.

With everything that had happened, one thing in particular came to mind. Something that, for unknown reasons, (y/n) felt crucial to tell Maul. Between sobs she spoke, “In the market… there was a radio broadcast…” Maul pulled his head back a bit so that he could look at (y/n). Her face was a mess, as her (y/hc) was glued to her face and her (y/ec) eyes shimmered behind tears. “On the station. They said the war was over… that the counselor was declaring an empire…”

Maul’s facial expressions showed how shocked he was by her statement. As much as she wanted to enquiry on his thoughts on the matter, her feelings only continued to come out even more. Crying harder now, she continued, “I don’t know why, but when I heard the news… with everything else happening… it’s supposed to be good news, but all I can feel is fear and dread when…”

(Y/n)’s words became more incoherent as she began to cry more. ‘The force must be very strong with her,’ Maul though, ‘if she was able to see through Sidiou’s plans; even if she did not understand what she was sensing.’ The young farmer was now uncontrollably weeping in his arms. Maul was honestly a little envious at (y/n). He could feel how difficult this was for her, but to openly cry the way she was, took a kind of strength he felt he did not have.

Seeing as she was barely able to hold herself up, Maul picked up the smaller woman and carried her in his arms towards the farm. If she wanted to fight him on the matter, but she was too exhausted to do so. As he continued to carry her, (y/n) tears started to subside as she was starting to fall asleep in his arms. “Rest,” Maul gave the gentle command. The sun was beginning to set in the horizon, revealing the two moons that were now hovering over the farm he walked towards. “Close your eyes for now, for there is so much for you to learn.”

#shooting stars #darth maul #maul #maul x reader #maul x you #darth maul x reader #darth maul x you #darth maul fanfiction

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sw4tch · 3 years ago

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In a complete ironic twist of destiny, the “redditor vibes” guy in my office might have a crush on me.

Once more, my complete magnetic and raw they/them charm has backfired on me

layers of irony aside, it really does fucking Suck. I haven’t been able to write down my thoughts about it because the first moment I realized it, it actually pissed me off a lot lmfao

like, don’t fucking even DARE look at me dude lol. lmao. lol. how DARE YOU interpret me with your incorrect idea of me and get a crush on that. lol.

Ok, so, here comes my tale of woes and grievances.

First off, to be completely fair (and balanced)- He. He is okay i guess. He’s an okay guy. A bit loud and annoying but he’s not. I guess actively an Asshole.

Which really, that’s gotta count for something.

Also when he’s trying to be friendly, well, he is indeed friendly and fun to listen talk to. He buys me sweet bread sometimes.

That’s it.

But he’s also the kind of guy that says “ugh sjws always ruin shit” and sometimes lets slide a “casual” rape joke escape from his mouth

and also sometimes tells me that “oh women could just report anyone about inappropriate behaviors” when he tries to hug me? Like. Like the implication here is that you think i’m gonna report you just for shits and giggles and, after such a “normal” interaction too so like. wtf? Are you threatening me? WHY do you feel the need to let that comment out of your mouth. what the hell.

Anyway, those little behaviors of his have made me lowkey, kinda, uhhhh, unnerved by him as a person.

Must clarify that must of the time, he’s an okay guy ok??? He’s fine and also apparently might have autism (he’s said so himself) so maybe those weird behaviors might be you know, smth smth missing social clues or whatever. I’m trying to sound apologetic over my description of him bcus for real, he’s just a common Guy(tm).

I cannot tell you how much he’s just loud and annoying but ultimately he’s fine, I believe. Like, the bar is on hell so he could be worse but he’s not and he’s good intentioned most of the time so, u get what i’m trying to say?

Sigh.

Anyway.

My worksona is a cis-woman who’s quiet but positive and very friendly most of the time. So, really, i’m trying to be smiley and “”“cute””” and not a downer while working at the office.

Because that’s what professionals do, make worksonas (lol).

So, it turns out this guy loves to talk (I would call it mansplain but I feel in this case it’s a mean-spirited reading of him). But most people, i feel, lowkey find him annoying and try to shut him up.

But when he talks to me to make casual conversation, well, I just listen and let him talk and sometimes make relevant comments. And then I try to leave because man does he like to talk and I have work to do.

And since we tend to be one of the first few people to arrive at the office, that’s when we tend to talk.

And I guess he appreciated that someone would actually listen to him and not try to shut him down.

He started calling me “cute” and “sweet”.

And he started hugging me more, even though I do not like it (in his defense, I have not told him I don’t like it when HE specifically hugs me, but, ehhhhhh, i dont wanna have that conversation).

And that’s what it boils down to basically.

I don’t wanna reject him and tell him outright I don’t like his affections towards me. Because I don’t want him to possibly turn aggressive on me, or just u know, make things awkward in the office.

But anyway. That’s not my biggest beef with this whole thing.

The thing that really PISSED ME OFF is that he dared get a crush on the fucking stupid worksona I created. He loves a cis-woman who’s meek and will listen to him talk and that’s it. DOES HE EVEN KNOW ME??? HE DOES NOT.

He likes the idea of the me that exists on his head and I despise That. Besides, what the hell am I supposed to do now??? How THE FUCK do you reject someone that technically hasn’t told you anything, and also technically you’re on friendly terms with???

I just.

Thanks! I hate it! We can’t even have normal dnd conversations because you have insisted on having your character have a crush on my character!!! Stop that!!! And yet.

Here’s the real kicker folks. The real irony of the whole thing.

He might be the only one in the office that enjoys talking to me, and actively tries to talk to me. (Besides my roomie bestie, of course). So like, what do I even do with that. I guess that’s why I also don’t want to reject him. He’s the one person actively trying to interact with me. I like making silly comics about our dnd characters interacting, because his character is the only one that actually interacts with mine. I like talking about my character too.

I like having a new friend I know I’m not annoying to, i guess.

Isn’t that pathetic folks. I’m lonely and I want to be liked by everyone. I just don’t want him to hate me but then again.

Am I not disrespecting myself by ignoring my own boundaries and needs?

What do you need, snaily? I need for him to BACK OFF and stop hugging me.

No matter how attention starved you are, you need to realize this trainwreck is not stopping because you’re the conductor. You’re still on the rails. Stop it before it crashes and burns. Grow up! Grow a spine! Have difficult conversations! Respect yourself, man! You have to stop being a people pleaser! You will never be free like that! Sigh. My only mental comfort right now? Saeran would have kicked his ass already.

#snaily blabber #big OL' v ent #i have a migraine now which is probably unrelated but also jesus did it only make it worse by the time i finished lol

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spiltscribbles · 4 years ago

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Oooh! Prompts! Remus and Sirius moving in together please! 💛

Notes: Thank you SO SO much gorgeous<3 I’m like kinda embarrassed that this is kinda shit, especially because you’re writing is so fucking gorgeous, so I’m sorry.

A Reblog Is Worth A Thousand Stars | Send Me A Prompt

“YOU!”

With a start that almost makes him drop the vase in his hands, Sirius turns around to find his surly looking boyfriend glaring daggers straight at him, lips pursed and nose wrinkled ever so fetchingly. “Me?”

“You!”

“ Is this a Muggle game of semantics or something Moons, because for the life of me I’m not following.”

Remus’s glower only deepens, radiating a distinct sort of disapproval that could only ever be honed in by years of prefectness. “You thief!” He squawks, hands perched on his hips, and mouth twisted up mutinously.

“Is this the part where you say I stole your heart?” Sirius goads with a cocked brow, resuming their unpacking. “Because love, that line gets old after the millionth recital, but I do appreciate the spirit.”

“Wha? Na—no that is not what I was going to say you egotistical prick!” Remus scoffs— just a bit flustered with a dusting of pink touching the tops of his sharp cheekbones. “You ate the last spring role!” He accuses emphatically, almost tripping over the over a dozen boxes that are strewn across their newly furnished living room. Sirius can’t help but be endeared by Remus and his everythingness.

“Yes, yes I did Wise Guy,” He confirms distractedly. “I also dipped it into some spicy mustard and drank a bottle of water while I was at it… Your point being?”

“My point you utter berk is that it was mine! I called dibs!”

“I remember no such thing,” Sirius sniffs haughtily, moving to rearrange the photographs on their mantel. (And yeah, it’s still fucking insane to him that he’s become so domestic that he’s got a mantel over the fireplace that the man he loves more than any other had insisted was absolutely crucial to have if they were to move in together��probably for really romantical love making sessions in front of it’s flames with the bliss of no worries of anyone barging in on them, or griping if they were being to loud—Which by the way, James honestly had no right in complaining about considering his track record with his and Lily’s on again, off again mating ritual.

“Liar!" Sirius honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Remus started stomping his feet right about now, and pouting up a storm if the childishly cross expression on his pretty face is anything to go by. (And honestly how could one man be so adorable and sexy all at once.) “You were finishing up the shrimp tempura— because you are a posh idiot without any tastebuds— , and I said that I’ll be right back to get some of the boxes in the spare room, and to save it for me! And then I come here, and I find this! This breach of all we’ve built together!”

Sirius barely conceals his snort. “Is that right? The foundations of our whole, entire bloody relationship? And right after this afternoon, when I made you—“

Two spots of color blotch high on Remus’s cheeks and he cuts him off before Sirius can completely recount the frankly remarkable romp they had just finished with before deciding they needed some nourishment before getting back to unpacking. “Don’t you try to change the subject you stealing stealer who steals!”

“That insult leaves something to be desired Moonbeam.”

“You’re a prick.”

“And you wound me!” Sirius mock sobs, slamming his fist against his chest and swinging back his arm against his forehead. “A plague on you, and your family! And another on your family’s cow.”

Remus’s face morphs into his painfully unimpressed expression, (Hint, it’s very, very flat). “I’ll take your intentional dodge as an admission,” He scoffs, arms crossed tight against his chest.

“I admit nothing!” Sirius shouts in an overdone accent that would better fit the set of Downton Abbey. “Nothing Lupin!”

Remus rolls his eyes at Sirius’s hyperbolic attitude, and okay. Yes. Perhaps Sirius remembers a similar conversation akin to what Remus had described occurring only ten minutes prior. But to be quite honest, Sirius was hardly listening. Remus’s got on one of Sirius’s oversized t-shirts, a pair of boxer-briefs, and nothing else. So yeah, he should definitely not be expected to be paying anything any mind while his beyond gorgeous boyfriend is sitting there, impossibly long legs put out for display, and one perfectly alabaster shoulder bare where the shirt has slipped right off, effectively derailing Sirius's thoughts to how he’d teasingly kissed across his collar bone just earlier that night, nibbling on the hinge of his jaw while Remus had been writhing beneath him. so Really and truly, he should’ve never been expected to remember anything— let alone something as trivial as dibs— if his utterly perfect partner is right there for the taking, a determined dent between his brows, and intermittently rinsing his hand through his disheveled locks of hair like spun gold, excited over the prospect of fixing up this flat that is now their home.

Dear Merlin above does Sirius love this bloke with every fiber of his being.

“Well,” he relents, swaggering up closer to Remus so that they’re standing only inches apart. “Even if I did remember that such a discussion had taken place how you’ve described it—“

“It did, and you know it Black!” He harrumphs, using Sirius’s surname just to get a rise out of him.

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now love, is There?.”

Sirius’s sure that he’s won the argument and they could just move on, until he catches the glint in Remus’s impossibly luminous eyes—a glint that always means trouble, a glint that’s never failed to make each one of Sirius’s nerve endings go ablaze.

“Is that right?”

“I reckon it is Moonbeam,” he leers, is momentarily distracted by the downright angelic smile Remus casts his way right then, but suddenly, an onslaught of fingers are piercing into his ribs, wiggling and tickling him into submission.

“Say you’re sorry!” Remus demands, an effortless grin of his own swept across his lovely face, brighter than the morning sun. And yeah, maybe Sirius should just admit that it was his bad, apologize a thousand times over in the form of lingering kisses and caressing hands.… But the thing is, Sirius’s stubbornness has always been too rigid for his own good, and he’s always loved prodding at Remus till He just went off like the world’s most darling firecrackers.

“Never you absolute wanker!”

“I won’t relent till you profess an apology to my satisfaction,” Remus scoffs— a playful giggle lilting his overly formal words.

“And I won’t surrender!” He parries with a leer. Sirius tickles back harder, and Remus shimmies around so much that He ends up jabbing him in the eye, ramming straight into his chest, and effectively sprawling them—all long limbs and crooked angles—onto the wooden floorboards.

“Just say you’re sorry!” He insists, strangled laughter starting to gargle his words while Sirius just gazes down at him, mercilessly besotted.

“”S not my fault you didn’t take it with you Lupin, i’ve committed no grievance.”

“Oh come off it pretty boy.”

“Oy! I’m ruggedly handsome you arse!”

“Testy, testy.”

“You’re the pretty one.”

“Oh suck my cock.”

“Been there done that.”

Remus seems to be fighting down another laugh before he knees him lightly in the abdomen enough that Sirius tenses, giving Remus the chance to switch their positions once again, so that He’s back on top.

“My have the tables turned,” He taunts with one of his most dazzling smiles, dimples in full effect, and crinkles around his pretty sea glass eyes.

“I like how you think I’m at all opposed to this position,” Sirius says with a pixilated gleam, arching back enough so that their cotton clad dicks buck up against each other.

“Perv!” Remus scolds, smacking his chest playfully. “Now admit that I won!”

“Never!”

Somehow, amidst all the thrashing bodies and choked peals of laughter, Sirius flips him over— slight body beneath his own, with Remus’s wrists pinned over his head and his legs wrapped around Sirius’s waste.

“Now, now Monsieur Moony, I reckon that spring has rolled into winter for you,” Sirius most definitely does not laugh raucously at his own pun.

“That’s not even the direction that the seasons go in,” Remus frowns, nose wrinkled indelicately, a tell Sirius’s picked up on whenever He’s mad over an outcome.

“You still lost though,” Sirius barbs with no real bite, pecking a quick kiss to his lips in solace.

“You’re awful, and I’m breaking up with you,” Remus sniffs in turn—wiggling underneath him to try and get loose.

“Oh, you love me really.” Sirius preens like the cat who’s caught the canary— the world’s most beautiful and brilliant and ruffled canary that is.

“Lies and slander!” Remus waggles his tongue between his teeth, and Sirius dips down to bite it teasingly.

“Hmm, now isn’t this cute,” the pair scramble away from each other, utterly stunned once spotting Lily of all people, gaze twinkling and lips set into a firm smirk, eyeing them while leisurely lounging against the door frame.

“You two really can’t keep yr sodding hands off of each other, can you?”

Remus completely reddens, totally flustered, while Sirius only follies back a smug sort of grin at the force of nature that is Lily Evans, his practical sister-in-law, remus’s best friend, and all around genius.

“How long have you been watching Red dearest,” Sirius asks wryly, making it so now Lily’s the one who’s flushing..

“I hate you Black.” She says shortly, and Sirius’s beam doesn’t falter. “Re, as your spiritual older sister—“

“You’re barely a month older Lils,” Remus interjects, but Lily just goes on as if he hadn’t.

“I think it’s my job to remind you that he’s not the only bloke in London with a decent shoulder to waste ratio and nice hair. We can snag you someone with a bit of brains even.”

Sirius tosses her a V shaped salute, and Lily sticks her tongue out in retaliation, but for his part, Remus only tries to cut through the tension with one of his friendlier grins, though it just comes out as an awkward grimace. “I forgot that you’re dropping off the boxes tonight.”

“Evidently Ace,” she snorts, strutting further into the apartment and setting down the box of photos Remus had asked her to bring over from their old place. “Far too busy snogging with the boy who single handedly received the most detentions in Hogwarts history, while also, somehow— by the grace of God— threatened our stances as top of the class.”

“Oy Evans, can’t take all the credit for myself. Jem was my better half, till he moved on to the likes of you.”

Lily ignores him, save for the way her pretty face gets a bit scrunched out of irritation. “Ace, I ask you, what would McGonagall say if she saw her favorite prefect gallivanting around with such a delinquent.

Remus lets out one of his rare and beautiful laughs, something that feels buoyant and is really more breath than sound, but is still so vibrant and splendid and it never fails to thrust Sirius back to the Hogwarts Express, where he and Remus had first met as a couple of wide eyed eleven year olds, and all the contradicting emotions Remus had provoked upon first sight. Wonder, and confusion. Intrigue, and diffidence. Wanting, and fear. It’s an attribute of Remus's that Sirius will never not be amazed by.

“Ah, Minnie my love, how I do miss her so, now where were we Moonbeam?”

“I’m still standing here Black,” Lily reproves with a scoff.

“I think it was about here,” Sirius continues, dipping down to kiss at Remus’s protruding collar bones.

“Settle down mutt,” Remus rebukes with no real heat, a gentle hand carding through Sirius’s hair.

“God, you two are already an old married couple.”

“You really do know the best moments to interrupt sweetheart.” Sirius snipes with a playful roll to his eyes, his hand discretely resting over the small of Remus’s back.

“And you have no decency, corrupting Remus the way that you do.”

“Okay first, I take fucking offense, you know better than me that Moony here was the mastermind behind most of our delightful pranks.”

“You mean your childish inconveniences you plagued on the unsuspecting public?”

“And secondly, we didn’t even get to the fun, currupting part because of your oh so lovely interruption.” Sirius retorts moodily, though he soon suspects the joke was a wrong play to make when Lily’s smile suddenly goes predatory and sHe flips back a lock of her wind blown curls, ready to pounce.

“Well perhaps I just stopped by to make sure you weren’t further defiling my dear Remus. But I guess that giant love bite on your neck proves that I’m too late.”

Sirius can’t help the chuckle that pours out of his lips at her needled observation, smacking a hand to conceal the hickey sHe’s taunting him about, knowing exactly where it is, it’s been a topic of teasing all morning long from a smug Sirius to a properly indignant Remus.

“He-he just marks easily,” Remus pipes out, cheeks completely infused red and worrying on his bottom lip. Sirius suspects that Lily just knew that the one chink in his armor is prodding at Remus’s less than poised acts.

Lily rolls her eyes in a way that convinces Sirius that sHe doesn’t believe it for a second. “Whatever you say oh Saint Remus,” sHe smirks with no more argument. “but pray tell, are you guys about done swapping spit around me? Or is that going to forever be a regular occurrence in the Remus and Sirius show?”

“Now I’d reckon that’ll get a sold out crowd every night, don’t you?” Sirius asks, directing his question at the pair of of them while taking Remus’s hand, and pushing him even closer— just always preferring to have some sort of contact with him.

“Oh put a sock in it,” Remus harrumphs, finally starting to return to his normal coloring in the midst of Lily’s unrestrained cackles.

“Aw, don’t be shy love, it’s only the truth.”

Remus presses the pads of his fingers to Sirius’s lips and glares at him for good measure, “Some things are better left for private.”

“Hah,” Lily scoffs, weight slung to her left hip. “As if I don’t get a front row seat every time you two are within even in a ten foot radius of each other—OH hey, I know that look Ace! The one eyed squint, and the teeth. Well your “I’m about to kill my gorgeous best friend,” look has no place here, i’ll see my way out now. Just promise not to christen every room in this place, kay? We’d all like to visit without the residual specs haunting us! And I know how moody you get without your daily dose of my scintillating company.”

Sirius thinks that Remus’s trying to skewer a whole in the spot where Lily was just standing, if the terribly cross look on his face says anything. It’s precious, Sirius can’t help but snicker.

“Don’t laugh at me! I’m your boyfriend for Merlin’s sake! You’re s’pose to be on my side!”

“I wasn’t laughing at you Moons,” he kisses the fingers Remus has still got on his mouth, mock consolatory. “Just incredibly turned on.”

That dent between Remus’s brows is back again for a moment, but then his beauteous features smoothen out and He just pecks a quick kiss to Sirius’s lips before rifling through the box Lily brought over, muttering a light,”Whatever,” as He does so.

There’s a quick wrapping to the window, and Sirius glances over to find his owl— Odysseus— with a bundle of letters attached to his left leg. By rote, Sirius feeds him some of the pellets they keep there for convenience, and unwinds the bundle of parchments, beginning to shuffle through them.

There’s a copy of the Nightly prophet with the murder of another Muggle family splattered all over the front cover in a sickeningly gauche manner, a free trial subscription to the Quibbler with a reading for Scorpios in the month of October, a letter from Peter about his mum and sisters driving him up the rails, an invitation from Marlene for he and Remus to come out to dinner with them for Dorcas’s Birthday, and a ominous letter from James of all paper that simply says a gift for Moony.

Bewildered to why he hadn’t just sent it along with Lily, Sirius tares off the attached photograph only to find something truly, horrendously vile. a photograph of himself. One that was definitely taken fifth year— Sirius’s worst year where he absolutely could not stand being around his family for a moment longer, and James was getting more settled with his studies, an Remus was dating that prefect prick from Ravenclaw and was exceedingly elusive from Marauders nights out. This was so obviously taken on one of those aforementioned nights out that it’s comical. Sirius’s hair is as long as it’s ever been— touching the tops of his shoulders— and he’s chugging down a fruity, pink concoction— the type that Rosmerta was always cooking up for them— hand over fist, and he’s got on puppy ears and a fake nose. In layman’s terms he looks like a complete and total pillock. Drunk off his ass so much so that you can see the stars in his eyes even through the clunky glasses he had stolen from James— convinced that he was sporting them for purely esthetic reasons and not because the knob is actually as blind as a bloody bat— and his finger is pointed and mouth is open in the way it always is when he’s ranting about something or the other.

It’s perhaps the only photograph in history where Sirius isn’t looking his typical, jaw dropping gorgeous self.

There’s about a thousand different retorts he wants to scribble on a spare parchment and shoot right back to James— ranging from nasty to downright despicable— but then he catches the familiar peal of laughter coming from behind him. He’s not surprised when he sees Remus—beautiful, ingenuous, perfect Remus who’s physically incapable of taking a photograph less than effortlessly lovely, even while pissed— peering over his shoulder in utter amusement.

“Oh My God I need to ask James to send me one of the hundreds of copies he surely has.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Sirius retorts darkly.

“I’ll use an enlarging charm and hang it up above the mantel, for prosperity. The one time Sirius looks the way he acts,” he moves his hand over an invisible marquee and looks so damn smug that Sirius could kiss him, and in fact, that’s exactly what he does.

“I hate him,” is all he says afterwards, once he’s pulled away.

“I can’t believe that’s you!” Remus continues with eyes full of mirth.

“I want to banish him, no. No I want to banish all of them. All of our friends, we can make knew ones Moons. I mean look at us! We’re a catch!” He tosses the letters onto the newly acquired sofa as if they have personally affronted him and all he stands for.

“ Oh brilliant idea love.”

“That sounds like your sarcastic voice Moons.”

“No, you’ve got my full support. this’s our castle Pads, we can banish whom ever we like,” Remus balances on his tiptoes, and smacks an exasperated kiss onto his cheek. Sirius can barely contain the glee that’s dancing in his eyes at the thought of this being their own personal castle— a fortress just for the pair of them to escape within— causing another swell of fondness to pound in his chest.

“Well maybe we can give’m another chance,” he relents, melting into how Remus’s locked his arms around his neck, and is smiling up at him with all the love in the world shining unadulteratedly in his lovely eyes. “I mean they did help us move all those boxes and all.”

Remus hums his agreement while he presses his forehead against his own, endlessly endeared.

“What a generous king,” He goads, words hugged with fondness.

“Ooo, I like that, call me that in bed and I might bless you with my royal sector.”

Remus thumps his nose, “Your more tolerable when you don’t speak and just stand there being pretty.”

“Aw, you think I’m pretty Moonykins?”

Remus shakes his head ruefully, the smile on his face one that Sirius knows well— one that means he’s reluctantly endeared. “Dork.”

“Plonker.”

There lips meet for another kiss and it feels like all the resplendence in the galaxy being distilled between just the two of them.

#Wolfstar #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #marauders #spilt ink #sugarplums #kattlupin #so totally completely fluff #RIP #life's been total shit this week #so I guess this is a thing #I'm sorry sweets

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of-faunsandyellowflowers · 4 years ago

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Hello! I saw that you posted about working with Cernunnos, and I'm interested in working with him honestly, but there's one problem. I'm Chronically Ill, and have been bed bound almost all day, so I'm worried about how good of a devotee I can be when fatigued or depressed. Do you think Cernunnos would be alright with a Chronically Ill follower, and how he might even be able to help? And do you have any ideas for how to worship him while having little energy? Thanks so much, I appreciate it!

Hi! I get this question a lot from people actually. I'll post this one publically so ppl can see. This is going to be long! I apologize for that.

First and foremost: disabilities/chronic illness are NOT an issue for most deities/spirits that help guide is. There are some who are very old and quite unwilling to interact with humans due to past grievances or trauma that these souls have endured, but it's not a disability thing.

This is something that many many many of us here on earth experience (myself included, I am autistic with adhd, major depressive disorder, PTSD and major anxiety alongside IBS, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I get this question a lot, and I've had this question myself.

Cernunnos (link to my long post about it which also mentions this) actually has a soft spot for chronically ill people and adores helping comfort them and bringing them guidance. You do not need to worry about this being a burden within your work. Theres SO many ways to practice magick, ritual, meditation and be a devotee to a god even when this way. I'm a dark forest/green witch (non wiccan) and I'm also a kitchen witch. These forms of magick bring me the most comfort and work best for me. Find the types you are drawn to, and incorporate them into your day. It doesnt need to be big. Divination, for example, is a good way to communicate with your gods when you are unable to meditate. Little things are just as impactful as the large ones and require minimal effort. Make tea with certain ingredients and enchant a spell for it....etc.

The first piece of advice I can give you is to get yourself into the mindset that you are, and shall always be good enough for a god to help guide you. This will not only raise your vibrations but will also set you on the path that you need to be. I fall back on this sometimes. This doesnt mean become conceited. We still need to show respect to these divine beings and when they offer guidance, be nice. DO NOT demand things.

Second, meditation is INCREDIBLE. it does NOT need to be some in depth 'find your soul' type meditation. With adhd, I have an awful time trying to concentrate. One thing Cernunnos has told me is that I must take my own time, and be patient. Even 5 min a day helps. Meditation opens you up to spirit more, grounds you, and makes it easier to do spirit work the more you do it and the longer tou do it. It is also VERY good way to cope with disabilities as it calms our mind down as well as body.

Third, grounding is 100% needed. This is why I mention meditation, through this you can learn to ground. Grounding is an exercise which literally 'grounds' your soul into your body, calming you and giving you a better base for when you start doing more magick. It's very easy to learn and takes minimal effort.

4th, learn divination. This can be tarot, oracle, pendulum...whatever YOU feel is best. This is the way I normally talk to Cernunnos when my hearing is blocked.

5th, learn how to put up wards. This is mentioned in my Cernunnos post that I put up. A lot of people on here will state you do not need them. Heres the thing, you do. It's not because Gods cant protect us, it's because Gods have SO many people that they work with and theres so much that we as humans? We dont know about. As someone whose been attacked BY a malicious spirit, I can concur you do need wards when you do magick. They also are essential because they teach you defensive magick which Gods would want you to know anyway when you get to the point of travelling in the astral, but that's more advance magick. Anyway how to wards is in that link!

6th, in my link I shared it talks about a lot of ways to get in contact with Cernunnos but I'd like to mention some ways I do it as a chronically Ill person myself. I'll also list ways I personally offer him things.

Meditation outside (not during winter)

Dancing (he adores dancing)

Listening to irish/celtic music

Cooking with his favorite foods

Tarot

Telling him about my day out loud

Telling him I love him, thanking him for his guidance

Wearing his pendant.

Singing in irish

I'd also like to note that Cernunnos has such a soft spot for his disabled devotees, he will literally yell at you sometimes if you are pushing yourself too hard or being disrespectful to your body in anyway. And some warnings: if you choose to work with him you HAVE to be respectful to nature. This doesnt mean be vegan. Cernunnos adores meat, you just need to honor it. Always give an offering or ask a plant prior to picking. Make friends with your local fae (just offer them things to keep the peace), talk with your trees. Be kind to the earth. That is his #1 rule when working with him. I've seen him get furious over trees be cut down too soon. He hates how corrupt our world has become.

He loves us, but he wants us to respect ourselves, our home, and so forth.

Again I hope this helps and you guys are always welcome to reach out to me about him!

#cernunnos #celtic pagan #paganism #celtic paganism #disabled witch #spirit work #witchcraft #pagan #celtic pagans #kernunnos #pan #forest god #horned god

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ma-lark-ey · 4 years ago

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I'm making this post the disclose my current opinions on the Dndads discourse and how frivolous its become.

I would like to preface with one thing;

This post contains content of grooming and manipulation, as this has been the main discussion in this fandom and the issues. I am speaking from my own personal experience, as a former victim of grooming who only recently escaped my abuser. I will not say their name, those who I feel comfortable knowing further information on this already know.

this is my trauma, and I am speaking from my experiences. This is one of the hardest possible topics I could touch on, and I beg anyone who still cares to listen, whether I change your mind or not. Listen.

I've wrestled with my support of this podcast for eleven weeks now. Maybe longer. Since before the discourse became a major thing. I've wrestled with this since episode 34 was released, and I need you understand that.

I need you to understand that I believe the hosts have done what they can to fix these issues. And I genuinely do not see what people still want from them. I will address each topic one at a time, and if I touch on things lesser than others, please understand that this discourse triggers a trauma that I underwent less than a year ago. a trauma I am still processing.

1. Grant, and his over sexualization.

The jokes revolving Grant and his sexual orientation or exploration were sometimes in very poor taste, I am not that blind. I will not defend them or say they weren't as bad as they are. But here'd what people have to think about when we talk about this; Those jokes are already in the episode. They cannot be removed, and the best the hosts can do about that is avoid that humor in the future. Humans are not perfect, and humor is ever growing part of a person, its always a tossup of if a joke will land or not. These did not, and they have not made these jokes since they got called on it.

On the Discord claims about them discussing his porn history, I can say nothing on that. I've seen no sources or proof that that happened. I won't make any opinions or comments on that until I've seen concrete proof that these conversations happened.

2. The Unsafe Discord.

They're Discord is no longer unsafe. Blanket statement, no discussion open. Here's the thing and here's where I'm going into my personal experience; Discords minor precautions arent up to par either. The DnDads hosts have made their 18+ channels, they've made the Discord clear to not be a totally kid friendly place and has tried to separate adults and minors. But they genuinely can only do so much. Minors can easily bypass these guidelines, and that is where we get to the whole grooming argument.

As a grooming victim, this is not the slippery slope people make it out to be. And adult fans,,this is where I'm telling you to sit down and shut up for a minute. Listen, for just a moment. I know I'm "just a kid" but, I've lived the possible outcomes you've thrown out. I lived that experience, and I lived. I survived, and the way you talk about it is so invalidating to me its absolutely disgusting.

I'm prefacing this with this may sound ineloquent, and not as "pleasant" as I usually like to sound. Because with this I expect people to listen. Its not in the public ass Discord server where you should watch out for the child. Its if you see an 18+ individual actively DMing that person, and this minor speaking about this person as if they're a major part of their life.

I need you to understand that I was genuinely wary of one of our own community members when I first began speaking with them, because of this trauma. I wary of ALL of our community members. I didn't share my other socials with people in this community unless I knew their content first. There have been multiple times I've stopped myself from messaging who I will call "My Annus" because of this trauma I've endured.

And I'm sorry, but Waterdeep genuinely has no precautions set in place to separate adults and minors that the DnDads Patreon does not. You cannot act like saints and villainize them, when they adjusted and became you. Then either both of you are saints or both of you are demons.

Children interacting with adults is always a bit set back at first. But I've been groomed. Twice. And you people act like its obvious, like it can happen so easily. And it does, it happens easily. First its them texting you so much you feel overwhelmed, then its them becoming someone you rely on. Someone who makes you pity them.

And its not gonna be people who are SIGNIFCANTLY older. (i.e, I feel much less worry interacting with 30 year olds than I do 18-22 year olds.) Because the adult people that feel 'more understandable' to be friends with cause their just barely adults? they tend to pry harder. They can get away with it. Thats just fact. The people who say "Oh I'm eighteen, but I just turned eighteen" I'm always the wariest of. Not because I'm convinced they're bad people or whatever, but because both times; my abuser was one of those people. This was two different people as well.

And thats what the adults of this fandom won't address. That its not the slope they've made it out to be. Because then they have to retract statements they made, and a lot of people, minors and adults, just don't have the humility to do that.

The only advice I can give to people in the server, who are worried for the minors. These are the only signs I can give you, and this is from my experience or the experience of other survivors I've spoken to, and I'm by no means saying this is concrete.

Abusers tend to be /just/ enough of an adult to be considered on, but not so old that it'll be considered weird for them to befriend a minor. The age gaps I see most often are 14/19 or in that kind of range. They'll go for the lonelier or newer folks, the ones who haven't built their group in the community and are just entering. The ones looking for their place in the hierarchy. If you want to help protect us, you watch like a mother bear when a new minor joins.

A lot of us don't realize its happening until its too late, and by the time we realize the situation we've fallen into its too late for us to get ourselves out. The majority of us have weak wills and a fear of conflict.

3. What the Hosts have done in response.

I honestly, genuinely think the hosts have done a lot of steps in the right direction. And in recent episodes? man, they've tagged their shit better than the McElroys, and no I'm not reaching there.

Honestly, they kind of did before to, on topics they knew were really rough for some people.

When they warned for the Willy Stapler stuff, I was grateful. They warned me I may be triggered by Ron and Willy's dynamic before I was forced with it. The McElroys had a scene with grooming in Grad, and I wasn't warned. I couldn't mentally prepare myself and I had a minor reaction to it. And thats not at all to shit on the McElroys, anyone who knows me know I love that family more than anything. That they saved me. Thats just a statement I need you all to understand.

The Hosts aren't "ignoring us" they're listening to us. They genuinely are. They saw we wanted content warnings, and they gave us some of the best content warnings I've seen. They've content warned episodes I didnt see reason for content warnings.

4. The Transcripts.

Look, this is beating a dead horse at this point. I, personally, have debated beginning to transcribe episode. I know they said they will, and I trust their word. But thats all we can really do, right?

I've transcribed things myself before, guys, and thats hard. and it takes time. and knowing them, they'll want to get all the current episodes up at once, and thats gonna take a hot minute to get down. And we can go into "Well why didnt they transcribe from the beginning?" and well, that's because transcribing just wasn't a thing until recently? Like again, going back to MBMBAM and McElroys, they don't even have all of TAZ transcribed last I checked (I believe their transcriptions go from Grad-Stolen Century, and anything before Stolen Century doesn't have one yet. I may be wrong on that.)

I will not speak on the other grievances and issues people have brought up in the show. The topics I covered are the only ones I feel comfortable speaking on on a public platform, where my words can sway opinions.

There is no TL;DR, because as I said in the beginning; if you can't read this, you aren't listening well enough nor willing to actually discuss the issues you have. You're looking for something to be mad about. Period, end of discussion.

I don't say that to act like I'm some authority on this, or some higher being above all of you for "being forgiving." Because, frankly I don't forgive them. I will continue to support them for making steps in the right direction, and upping their game. But, I won't forgive them for their jokes or the brief lack of precaution in the server. But, I will move on and I will support them. Because, as a victim of the problems people brought up in those situations, the steps the took are the best ones they could have. And I am grateful for that.

If other survivors read this and disagree, you're perfectly valid in that. We all went something, and it effects each of us differently. My heart goes out to you, as well, I know how isolating and genuinely terrifying those experiences and situations can be.

To those who aren't survivors and have read this; I beg you to think about this.

I am open to discussion further on this, but to an extent. There are some opinions I hold in this message that I will flat out tell you to not debate me on, not because of anything other than what I said in this post was hard enough to me to say.

Thank you for your time. EDIT: I implore anyone reading to the read the notes on this post, more information and discussion can be found and all of it is just as important.

#dndads #dndads discourse #discourse #dungeons and daddies

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ererokii · 4 years ago

Text

Butterfly

Tamaki Amajiki x Fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff, suggestive themes, angst, violence and major character death

Word Count: 6939

Synopsis: The renowned shy but brave hero, Suneater passes and his life is celebrated by his family and close friends.

Italics mean flashback

Tag list; @kingtamakimurder, @tamasoft, @shoutosplaything

It was funny how the world worked. How time worked. How every little second could be a traumatic change or an insignificant change in someone’s life. Time was an endless loop of change, whether one was ready or not.

The gust of cold wind descended upon you, regardless of wearing a jacket you could still feel it’s rough clutches against your skin, making your body scream at you for being there.

Underneath your umbrella, you meekly looked up towards the grey sky, watching the rain hit against the sheer protection, each hit harder than the last.

The rain seemed to distract you from everyone around you. By yourself, you stood by a big tree. No one seemed to approach you. Giving you the time you deserved by yourself. To let yourself fall in your hole of grievance.

Heavy footsteps approached from behind as a big yet gentle hand was placed on your shoulder. “Y/N” the voice said. Mirio.

You whipped your head around quickly to meet his glossy eyes that threatened to spill his tears. Beside him stood Neijre, who was gripping her umbrella with both hands, and in between those hands was one simple red rose.

Tamaki loved red roses.

A sad smile graced your features as you felt your tears spill. “I can’t thank you guys enough for coming..”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world Y/N-Chan,” Neijre said softly, walking up to you and wrapped an arm around you, careful not to squish the delicate flower in her hand.

Mirio watched both of you with saddened eyes. He couldn’t believe what was going on. The tension in the air was too thick. It felt like it was suffocating him whole.

“We should get going inside yeah?” Mirio asked, looking off somewhere, gripping the black fabric of his pants.

“Yes..” you said shakily and took a deep breath. “We should get going..it should be starting soon”

The pair stood on either side of you, linking their arms with yours as you all made it inside for the celebration.

Celebration. Wasn’t that a funny word to celebrate the life of a loved one? Celebrate what they had to offer as a person to those around them. You loathed the word starting now. You didn’t want to celebrate.

You just wanted Tamaki Amajiki back.

As you made your way closer to the front, your feet felt heavy as if you felt like you were being dragged. Your eyes locked on the black casket that was surrounded by dozens of pretty flowers, each having their special meaning. A photo of the person was standing beside the casket.

The casket that held the body.

The casket that held the dead love of your life, Tamaki Amajiki.

You started shaking your head as you dug your heel into the ground, refusing to move. “I can’t do it. I can’t face him. I can’t” you chanted ‘I can’t’ over and over like a mantra.

Mirio’s grip on your arm tightens. “Yes, you can. You have too. This is your closure. For you. For all of us.”

“I can’t!” You cried and covered your mouth to muffle the sobs attempting to escape. Others who were invited glanced in your direction, pity evident in their eyes. Out of everyone you were hit hardest.

“I can’t look at him again knowing he won’t come home! I can’t look at him again knowing he won’t be saying I love you! I can’t Mirio! I lost him!”

“No, we lost him!” He snapped and gripped both of your arms, making you face him. “It was my fault! It’s my fault he’s gone! How can I be named Lemillion if I can’t save one person?! I’m supposed to save millions of people! But I couldn’t even save Tamaki! My best friend! It should be me in that casket and not Tamaki!” He yelled through his tears, not caring if he looked like a mess.

“Mirio.,” you whispered shakily and clasped your hands together tightly, holding them to your chest.

“I’m sorry!” He sobbed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. “I’m sorry Y/N! If only I was quick enough! Strong enough! If only I didn’t distract him! If I was those things Tamaki would still be here!” He cried in agony.

“Mirio please stop! Don’t blame yourself! Tamaki wouldn’t think this is your fault. Please stop begging yourself” you begged him with desperation, reaching forward and engulfing his bigger hands into your smaller ones. “Please don't..” you whispered

He looked up at you. His eyes were screaming pain and agony. He was digging his hole and he was falling deeper and deeper.

“I’m sorry” was all he said and wiped his eyes, forcing a smile on his face. “I know it’s hard. Come on. He’s waiting for us”

You stared at him unsure before nodding your head, gripping the black skirt you had on.

A soft hand wrapped around your arm and began tugging you. “Come on Y/N. It’s going to begin soon.” Neijre spoke up softly.

A celebration. That’s all it was. A sad disturbing celebration.

You ran your hand on the open casket. Your bottom lip trembled as you reached forward, grabbing onto Tamaki’s cold calloused hand into your warm one.

“Hi Tama..it’s me..” you whispered. “You look so peaceful, honey… you’re safe now..”

“Y/N.” A voice said from behind as you looked over your shoulder.

Taishiro and Eijirou stood there, a look of regret and sorrow displayed on their face. You couldn’t trust yourself to speak. You gave a curt nod and a sad smile. Your eyes spoke more than words.

You couldn’t care less who arrived or who didn’t. It shows who cared most. Who cares about Tamaki the most. Everyone seemed to file in one by one, each wearing an emotional mask. You couldn’t tell if it was a lie or truth.

It was sad.

It was terrible.

Yet why did you feel like no one here cared besides a few?

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about those horrible thoughts.

“Today we celebrate the life of Suneater or to his friends and family, Tamaki Amajiki..”

You blanked out. You couldn’t listen. You refused to let go of his cold hand. You were afraid when you let go he would disappear from you forever. You didn’t want to celebrate his years of life.

You just wanted him back in your arms. Alive. Warm.

Not dead. Cold.

Numerous speakers went up. Taishiro, Mirio, Neijre, and Tamaki’s parents.

“Can we please have our last speaker, Y/LN Y/N come up and speak on behalf of Tamaki Amajiki?��

Your head perked up at the sound of your name as you took a deep breath, leaning over and kissed the knuckles of Tamaki’s hand, lingering your lips on it. “I’ll be back my love…” you whispered against the skin.

Neijre reached over and grabbed your spare hand, Mirio placing his over hers as they both gave you a comforting nod.

You nodded in return and stood up tall, moving past everyone as you made your way up to the podium surrounded by the beautiful arrangement of flowers. Under different circumstances, you would have enjoyed the variety.

You walked up the steps, hands running over the smooth wood of the podium. Millions of eyes kept their gaze fixated on your trembling form as you reached in your pocket, pulling the folded paper out.

You couldn’t remember how you found yourself here. It was all a blur. “I uh..thank you for everyone that came. It means a lot to me and I know that.. it means a lot to Tamaki as well” you started and unfolded the paper, staring at the black ink of your writing.

You took a deep breath and flattened the paper down. You opened your eyes and glanced at the resting body. Finally at peace.

Your mouth opened to speak but no words came out, only incoherent noises. Your group of friends consisting of, Neijre, Mirio, Eijirou, and Taishiro all stared at you with worry. From the looks of it, it looked like Neijre was about to get up and stand up there with you but Mirio held her down.

A simple movement of your hand pushing a lock of hair behind your ear to calm your nerves. It might not have helped but it was something.

You spoke up, “Tamaki Amajiki wasn’t the most confident man out there. Like every other human he had his doubts, but he was far by worse. His anxiety always got the best of him. However, he was like no other. He was sweet. He was kind, compassionate, and selfless. He always made sure others' needs were in front of his. He was careful. He was passionate. A perfectionist one would say. In the eyes of another, Tamaki was far from perfect. In my eyes.. he was an angel. His perfect imperfections. His flaws. How could I not love him?”

A sad smile made its way to your face as you clasped your hands together tightly. “His favorite thing in the world was Butterflies. It was a delicate love for them. Every time he would see one he would go on and on about their species. It warmed my heart to see it firsthand. I remember our first date consisted of butterfly watching. I will admit I wasn’t the biggest fan of it, but seeing his smile was the best win for me.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Tamaki was a passionate lover no doubt. He had his ups and downs with himself but that didn’t stop him from trying to be the best boyfriend.

The birds outside chirped softly. The sunlight peeking out from behind your curtains into your shared room, draping across your bed where the two of you laid.

A calloused but gentle hand traced lazy circles onto your arm. His soft eyes watched as your body rose and fell slowly with each breath you took. His gaze fell to your neck, face getting hot when he saw the marks he had given you the night prior.

An angel is what he would say. The way your hair sprawled underneath you, your angelic form as you slept, the soft snores you let out. The soft light of the sun outlining your perfect imperfections. He adored you. Every single part of you.

He leaned up on his elbow and traced the outline of your lips with the pad of his finger ever so softly, with a feathery like touch.

A small smile graced his lips when he noticed you stirring in your sleep before opening your eyes slowly, adjusting from your slumber.

This was the best part of your morning. Receiving the best present you could ever ask for. Tamaki by your side. You drank in his appearance. His messy indigo locks that somehow looked perfect. His tired yet bright eyes boring into your own.

Your gaze fell to his marked-up collarbones and chest, memories of your intimate moment with him flooding your mind immediately.

The feeling of him on top of you, holding you close and driving you closer to the edge as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Words of love exchanged between the two of you as you became one.

“Morning Tama..” you whispered tiredly and reached up, cupping his cheek with one hand. A gentle stroke to his cheek with your thumb had him close his eyes in satisfaction.

“M-morning bunny” was his reply as he opened his eyes again, fully getting on top of you, one of his hands resting beside your head.

“Mmm, you want more Tama?” You teased and lazily wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with his locks in the back. “But it’s so early”

“Yeah and? That hasn’t stopped us in the past has it?” He questioned and lowered his head to your chest, nipping the soft skin above your breast as you let out a shaky breath.

“N-no I suppose it hasn’t” you whispered and ran your hand through his messy locks, enjoying the way he shuddered when your hand grazed against the tip of his ear.

He let out a purr like noise as he laid his head on your chest, wrapping an arm around your torso to keep you close to him.

These were the moments you cherished. Him and you basking in each other’s warmth, each other’s company, and the silence. The way your legs would entangle, feeling his soft skin on yours.

His soft breathing started to even out slowly, hit your bare chest. “Falling asleep on me already huh?”

He weakly shook his head and tighten his grip on you. “Course not… j-just enjoying you bunny.” He said in his soft voice, grabbing your left hand that rested on his head, bringing it to his lips as he kissed the circlet that delicately rested on your finger. “I still can’t believe you said yes..”

“Huh? Course I would say yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

He grew quiet as his pointed ears drooped a bit. “Because I’m not special at all. I always thought I was a bad lover. You’re so good and I’m nothing like you...I feel like you deserve better than me.”

Your heart ached at his confession. You always knew his self-esteem wasn’t the best. No matter how hard you tried reassuring him he couldn’t listen. As much as he wanted to listen it was too hard for him.

“Tama..” you whispered and placed a finger underneath his chin, tilting his head up to meet your eyes.

His eyes were glossy as a single tear went down his cheek. You leaned forward and kissed the tear away, ignoring the slight salty taste in your mouth.

“You’re special to me and me only Tama..” you started. “You aren’t a bad boyfriend you’re the best I’ve had in my life. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me... and in fact, it was me who thought you deserved better. You showed me what love is. When you asked me to marry you I was so ecstatic. I still am. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” you finished with a small smile, cradling his cheeks in your hands.

“I-I’m sorry for doubting bunny...I wish I was stronger for you”

“But you’re already so strong, isn’t that right Suneater?” You teased lightly, using his hero name. The tips of his ear went red as he quickly buried his head in your breasts. That was his favorite hiding spot as he told you weeks ago.

“Y-you can’t just say things like that bunny..” his words came out muffled. You began to stroke his hair again. “But I only do it because I like getting reactions out of you is all.”

You let out a small yelp when you felt him nip at your skin again, harder than the last. “K-keep talking like that and I’ll be getting reactions out of you.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it Tama.”

He meekly looked up at you, a blush adorning his features as he gave you a quick kiss on the lips. A hand of his gently pushed you down on the bed as he hovered over you, leaning down and capturing your lips with his.

It was a sweet gentle kiss. But this felt needier. The way he pressed himself up against you, feeling your body as if you would disappear. The way his lips were desperately moving against yours.

He pulled away suddenly and dipped his head down, placing desperate kisses along the crook of your neck.

You let out a low mewl. “T-Tama what's gotten into you?” You whispered.

He lifted his head quickly. “I just love you bunny” he confessed, sounding somewhat confident. “And I just want to cherish you.”

If you didn’t grow soft you swore your heart did. You teared slightly up at his confession. “I love you too Tamaki.”

Before he could continue with his actions his phone went off. He let out a low groan and rolled over on the bed, reaching for his phone. Without even looking he answered. “Hello?”

You couldn’t hear who it was so for the meantime while you waited, you played with the ring that sat on your hand beautifully.

It was a delicate thing. A rose gold band with a simple diamond rose sitting at the top. Simple and beautiful. Just the way you imagined it. The perfect one.

“Right now?” Tamaki’s voice startled you from your thoughts. “Yes, but I thought today wasn’t till later n-no..?” He let out a frustrated sigh. “O-okay I’m coming now then..”

“Who was that love?”

“Fatgum. Says he needs me to start patrolling now even though I don’t start till later”

A pout formed on your lips. “Now? Let me talk to him and I’ll change his mind”

A small chuckle left his lips as he gave you another quick but yet gentle kiss to which you happily returned. “I appreciate it b-bunny but there’s no arguing with him.”

You watched as Tamaki grabbed a small blanket, wrapping it around his lower half as he got off the bed, the bed dipping for a slight second.

Watching Tamaki get ready was amazing to you. You didn’t know why. Maybe it was the way he would carefully put his folded clothes back in their respected drawer or the way he carefully put on his clothes.

Or the fact that he was in the moment with you.

“At least let me make you something to eat”

A shake of his head as he started getting dressed. “I-it’s okay bunny. I can just b-buy something out on the street”

A pout formed on your lips as you sat up, holding the sheet to your chest. “Are you sure? I don’t mind”

“I’m sure. You get rest since your patrol is later”

Yes, you were Pro-Hero (Y/HN). Your quirk was called Smoke Plume. You were able to convert the oxygen you inhaled into scorching gas that can either be exhaled through your mouth or pores. The more oxygen you inhale, the higher the temperature gets. Due to this, you were used to extreme heat.

You let out a small sigh and watched him put on the gold plating on his arms and shoulders once he had put on the black suit.

You blindly reached over the bed in search of his shirt he had on last night. Once finding it you put it on yourself, enjoying the way it was loose around your smaller frame. The shirt reached down and covered the curve of your ass.

Walking over to him, you laid your head on his back as you reached for his hands. “You’re amazing Tamaki..every single day you amaze me to no end. You’re so cool Tama.”

A smile tugged at his lips as he brought your hand to his mouth, kissing the knuckle gently. “T-thank you bunny..you’re so amazing”

A giggle passed through your lips. “I know”

Once Tamaki finished getting dressed you followed him to the door, quickly grabbing his white cape. “W-Wait”

He turned around, a concerned look displayed on his face. “B-Bunny? What’s wrong?”

You bit your lip and clenched the cape tighter. “I just..I don’t know..it doesn’t feel good today..”

He tilted his head to the side faintly and placed his hands on your hips, bringing you closer. “What do you mean?” He whispered.

“Just be safe out there okay?”

He nodded in agreement and kissed your forehead, keeping his lips there before pulling away. “I will”

“I love you, Tamaki. So much”

“And I… l-love you more bunny” a smile tugged at your lips. Still, after these years, Tamaki had trouble using his words. You stood up on your tiptoes and kissed him gently.

He pulled away a couple of seconds later and cradled your cheek, kissing your forehead once more before detaching himself from you. “I’ll s-see you in a couple of hours, bunny.”

��✧ ✦ ✧☾

Tamaki couldn’t help but cover his face more by pulling his hood lower. It wasn’t that he hated his fans, he was nervous whenever a small child would come up to him or a group of people from across the street waved at him.

“Y/N always knows how to interact with them..” he mumbled to himself and felt the cold concrete against his bare feet as he patrolled the area. Fatgum said there was a bit more activity in the area lately and called him earlier than he needed too.

It’s been at least 5 hours into his patrol. He had his fair share of Takoyaki Balls, maybe a bit more than he normally does but he didn’t care.

As he kept patrolling he kept a good leisure pace. Like usual, he was stuck in his thoughts. Wonder what Y/N is doing right now.. he thought and turned a corner.

Maybe you were watching your favorite show on TV or possibly making something to eat before you patrolled. Maybe making dinner for both of you when you would return home together.

A loud explosion from the other side of the area interrupted his thoughts. With a gasp and he looked up and quickly manifested his hand into a clamshell, protecting his body from the falling debris.

A domino effect seemed to have happened. One building after the other. His eyes widened in horror as he saw a building come crashing down immediately. Screams of innocent civilians filled his ears.

“It can’t be the league..” he whispered and uncovered himself, taking off in the direction of the chaos.

He panted softly as he stopped in front of a burning building.

“M-Mommy!” A little girl no older than 6 sobbed as she knelt in front of a rather large building piece that was smothering the body of the child’s mother. Her upper half was exposed to the outside as the lower and covered.

“Y-you have to get up!” She sobbed and tugged on the bloody hand, not aware that something was about to collapse on top of her small body.

Tamaki quickly manifested his fingers into tentacles and wrapped a tentacle around the young girl, yanking her to him.

The young girl panted heavily and clenched her fingers around his cape. “Y-you have to help my mommy! She’s stuck! She needs you!”

It felt as if the words weren’t able to come out. His mouth suddenly felt dry as he stared down at the frail girl. “I…”

“Suneater!”

He looked up quickly and mentally sighed in relief at the person who was running towards him

“I’ll take care of her! We already have a station for civilians!” Mirio said in urgency, taking the girl from Tamaki’s arms and held her close to his chest.

“This is big. We need backup now.”

Tamaki nodded in agreement and fully stood up. “Did he already?”

Mirio nodded his head. “Not even 5 minutes ago he called her. She’s on her way.”

Tamaki let out a shaky breath. “A-alright..stay safe.”

“You too”

Tamaki didn’t waste time and ran off in the opposite direction.

Mirio glanced over his shoulder, feeling a slight tug in his outfit.

“E-excuse me mister..is everything going to be okay?” The girl whispered, shaking in his arms.

Mirio’s heart ached but still nodded regardless. “You bet! You saw that man right now? He’s amazing! He’ll put a stop to it no doubt!” He flashed one of his famous smiles and patted the top of her head.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

After you saw what happened on the news, not even 3 minutes later you got a call from Fatgum.

Of course, you picked up and found out they needed your help. That’s how you found yourself here. Running through the streets as you inhaled as much oxygen as you possibly could for your quirk to work.

Looking both ways you ran across the alleyway into a Main Street. All around you were burning buildings and the bodies of dead civilians. Hero’s lower in the ranking than you were helping those trapped under debris or on the verge of death, hoping there was still hope for them.

You caught a peak at Fatgum and let out a sigh of relief, running over to him. “Are you okay?! Is Tamaki okay?!”

Fatgum nodded tiredly in reply and tied up the villain, tightening the restraints on their wrists. “Yes, he’s fine. Just meet up with him. And be careful” he ordered and stood up.

You nodded and fixed your black mask, running off again.

From where you stood you saw a body flying in the air as it collided with the wall, falling with a grunt. “Who the fuck is that freak..” he weakly mumbled before standing up quickly, making eye contact with you.

A wicked grin tugged on his lips as he suddenly ran at you at full speed. A gasp left your mouth as you dodged his hit, grabbing him by the of his arm and slammed him into the wall.

“You may be smart (Y/HN) but you can’t outsmart me!” he yelled as one of his hands detached from his body, grabbing you by your hair and tugged you down, kicking your face once you were level.

Blood spewed from your mouth as you landed on the ground with a hard thud, a groan emitting from your mouth. Your body came in contact with a sharp object. The object stabbed into your side but nothing vital. You laid there like a fish out of water, small puffs of gas emitting from your mouth but not enough to do any damage. “Poor poor girl.,” he said lowly and attached his hand back to his wrist. “You are strong. But not for me. Don’t worry. Someone will be joining you very very soon...Now die!” he yelled and grabbed a knife from his pocket, running at you.

You inhaled as much oxygen as your weak body could as he got closer with each step. Have to time this right!

Once he was in the distance of you, you opened your mouth and let everything out. You could only hold it for so long before you got light-headed. The man coughed and waved the gas out of there before making choking noises as he inhaled. His eyes widened as his skin began to form boils, his hand dropping the knife as he clawed at his throat.

“Move!”

Your eyes widened at the voice as you covered your body.

A talon appeared through the orange gas as it held the body down, a tentacle wrapping around his legs. Tamaki panted softly as he stared at you. “Back up is coming (Y/HN),” he said before his eyes narrowed down on the red spot forming on your white bodysuit. His tentacle tightened around the passed out body.

“W-what happened?! Y-you’re bleeding! You need to get help now!”

You weakly got up and leaned against the wall for support. “I’m okay Tama..” You said lowly and flashed him a weak smile. “I’ll be okay”

He still didn’t look convinced. “But bunny..”

“Tamaki! One got away! We need you and (Y/N) to come with!” Mirio said from far away as he jogged to meet the both of you, weary of his surroundings. “The police are coming right now to take him. We don’t know what this guy’s quirk is so we have to be extra care- Woah! (Y/N) you’re bleeding!”

“Yeah I figured that out already..” you grunted once you felt Mirio at your side, immediately wrapping a bandage around your wound. Where did he get the bandage? You had no idea.

The police arrived and immediately arrested the villain. After speaking with you, Tamaki pulled you aside and placed his hands on your shoulders, indigo eyes boring into your own. “Are you sure you're okay bunny…? We can go to the hospital right now”

“Tama..” you started with a sigh and placed a hand on top of his that was resting on your shoulder. “I’m okay. I’m okay. We still have one more villain to catch. You guys still need my help.”

“I know that but I don’t want you to hurt yourself more than you already did.”

“Do you not trust my abilities?”

“W-what?! I trust you so much bunny! I just can’t lose you..” the last came out in a whisper as he suddenly wrapped his arms around you but not tight to hurt you and brought you to his chest. “I love you too much..”

You inhaled his scent that was disappearing with the sweat and the smell of ash and debris from the explosion earlier. “I love you too Tama..but I’ll be okay. I promise you. After all, you’re stuck with me forever, remember?” you teased to lighten the mood, lifting your head so your chin rested on his chest as you stared up at him

His cheeks darkened at the remembrance of his proposal. “Y-yeah of course I remember bunny” he stuttered and looked elsewhere but you.

A chuckle escaped your lips as you made him look at you, leaning in and capturing his lips in your one. Your lips moved in harmony as you felt him lightly nip your lower lip. Your hands clenched at the straps of his outfit before pulling away, a light string of saliva which was a token of your kiss.

“Aww, you guys are so cute together! Just wait till Neijre finds out about you guys kissing on the job!” A happy Mirio chirped from behind you two. Tamaki let out a squeak as he covered his face with his hood as you rubbed your arm in embarrassment. Mirio always knew who to interrupt you two.

“Yeah, whatever! We still have to find someone!” You said flustered and tried ignoring the heat on the nape of your neck from embarrassment. “You said you don’t know his quirk, do you know what he looks like?”

Mirio shook his head in disappointment. “No, we don’t. Least not for long. Only a glimpse of him. One of them fessed up saying there was one more out there.”

You scratched your chin in thought. “Camouflage quirk? Invisibility? Maybe shapeshifter?”

“That could be it..” Tamaki mumbled under his breath. “We should get going though. We shouldn’t stay in the same spot. Mirio you go on ahead before us. I’ll stay with Y-“

“No, you won’t. You go on with Mirio. I’ll be fine. Both of you are at your strongest right now. It’ll make sense for both of you to go together.”

Tamaki stared at you for which you just nodded simply. “Go. We’re wasting time.”

“Go.”

“Tamaki come on” Mirio urged and grabbed Tamaki by his wrist. “Faster we move, the faster we can leave.”

Tamaki nodded slowly and followed him, shooting a glance over at you. “Stay safe.”

“You too Tama. And you as well Mirio.”

“Aw, she cares about me!” He laughed and walked down the street before turning the corner with Tamaki.

There was an unsettling feeling in your gut that you couldn’t shake the feeling from. Something was going to happen. But you didn’t know what.

“So Tamaki soon huh?” Mirio said, trying to break the silence as they looked for the last villain.

“Soon what? What do you mean?”

“You’re getting married! Duh! Don’t tell me you forgot already!”

Tamaki gulped faintly and looked down at his bruised up bare feet. “Y-yeah it’s soon..”

“Are you excited?”

“What k-kind of question is that?”

“A valid one Tamaki!”

“Of course I’m excited to get married to her..just nervous as always. She’s been stressing about the small details. The wedding isn’t even for another 2 months.”

“Well, it’s Y/N. She wants to make sure every little thing is right. Maybe that’s why both of you are good for each other huh?” The blond teased his friend, nudging him with his shoulder.

A pleased smile made its way onto Tamaki’s face as he stared up at the night sky. “Yeah... I guess that’s why”

Mirio glanced over at his friend’s pleased state before looking back forward.

“Have lots of kids”

Tamaki choked on his saliva and looked at him thinking he was crazy. “Why did you say that?! Don’t say it like that!”

“Oh come on Tamaki! I wanna be the cool uncle! Uncle Mirio! That’s me!” He said proudly and jabbed his thumb into his chest, a smug look on his face.

“Y-Yeah but you shouldn't ta-“

His words got cut off as he choked on air, eyes widening.

Mirio quickly turned to face him as his eyes widened in horror.

There Tamaki stood, a blade sticking out in the middle of his chest. He gasped for air as his back arched, falling on his knees as blood began to seep out from the wound.

“Tamaki!!!”

A scream of terror was heard across the street. Y/N, Mirio thought as he made himself permeable, going underneath and came from behind the villain, grabbing the sword that was formed from his palm.

Footsteps from the other side emerged louder with each heavy step.

It all happened slowly. Mirio was able to immobilize the villain. You quickly made your way to Tamaki, stumbling as you fell on your knees.

Tamaki laid there, unable to move. Paralyzed. He gasped for air as he blindly searched for your hand to comfort him. “Y-Y/N..”

“Tama I’m right here! I’m right here Tamaki!” You sobbed and grabbed his hand, enclosing it in both of yours. “Tamaki it’ll be okay! Keep your eyes open! Focus on my voice!”

Tamaki looked up at you and squeezed your hand as much as he could. Your figure looked blurry to him. He blinked away the fresh tears and felt them go down his face. “Bunny..”

“K-keep your eyes open! You’re so strong Tamaki! Please! The medics are almost here!”

He started coughing and coughed up blood. Some blood splattered onto your face. You cringed at the feeling of the warm substance on your face.

Tamaki gagged on his blood and spit it out weakly on the side of him, feeling the red substance dribble out of his mouth.

“Butterfly please..it hurts..”

You cried out and held his hand to your mouth, kissing his knuckles.

Over

And over

From behind you stood Mirio, his expression indescribable. Tamaki couldn’t be dying. He just couldn’t. He was strong. This wasn’t Tamaki Amajiki. It couldn’t.

“I k-know baby!” You said through your tears, your vision getting blurrier and blurrier by the second. “You’re so strong Tamaki! I want to be just as strong as you Suneater!”

A weak chuckle passed by his lips. “I told you not to say that bunny..you know what it does to me..”

You forced a smile as you leaned closer. “We’re getting married remember?! A-And we’re going to see the butterfly sanctuary that is opening soon! Remember Tama?! Fight for me, baby! Please!”

“Butterfly...I love you so much..”

You shook your head and kissed him quickly, ignoring the taste of metallic hitting your lips. Your tears fell onto his cheeks, mixing with his own.

Your love is represented in the kiss. A feeling of desperation. A feeling of a small hope that he could make it. His kisses still left you breathless. Even like this, he still made you feel in cloud 9 with a kiss as simple as this.

As a bystander, this was the most tragic thing to witness. The death of a hero. No one wanted to see that. Especially the death of a hero, dying in the arms of their lover.

Many people crowded around on the other side of the street as the area was closed off by police cars. The faint noise of the sirens from afar.

Tamaki weakly kissed back, his hand cradling your cheek as he brought you in deeper.

You choked on a sob in the kiss. You quickly pulled away and noticed his breathing evening out. “No no, Tamaki! I can’t lose you! Not now! Not ever! I love you!!”

“Butterfly…” he got out and made eye contact with you. “Fly high for me butterfly..” he whispered as his chest stopped moving. His hand that was cradling your cheek, fell limp on the floor. However, his eyes were still open, barely. The life inside his beautiful eyes was now gone.

A scream resonated throughout the area. Your scream.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You stared down at the engagement ring that stayed sitting on your hand. You gulped and let the tears flow. You looked up at everyone and gripped the podium.

“T-Tamaki wasn’t weak! Never at all! He was so strong! I wanted to be just like him! He was my inspiration for getting out there and saving people! I wanted to be just like him! I admired him!” You sobbed and covered your mouth with a hand as your shoulders shook, eyes squeezing shut.

“Tamaki showed me what love truly was! He was my sun! He was..he was my Suneater. He was.. he is my world. I love that man so much..” you whispered the last part and bowed your head.

“I thanked Tamaki everyday… Tamaki. My love..thank you for being there for me..f-for always being on my side. For making my day shine with your presence..”

You looked up at your friends. Mirio has his head down in respect as Neijre had a tissue on her mouth, her figure trembling as she kept her sons in. Taishiro had his eyes closed, silent tears flowy as Eijirou was openly sobbing.

“Mr and Mrs.Amajiki..” you spoke up and looked up, making eye contact with his parents.

“Thank you for bringing the most... beautiful person into this world. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” You repeated and bowed your head once again with respect for them.

You finished it off and got off the podium, walking around to the open casket that held your beloved.

“Tamaki..” you whispered and leaned down, kissing his hand, relishing the way his cold skin met your warm lips. “It’s time to get you home..”

You stayed in that position for a second more before leaning up and held your hand out for Mirio to take. He complied as Neijre grabbed his other hand. The 3 of you walked out, heads bowed.

The burial went smoothly as possible, just like you hoped. You watched intently as they buried your beloved. You had your hands close to your chest, Mirio’s arm resting around your shoulders as Neijre had an arm wrapped around your waist, resting her head on your shoulder.

“He’s home..” you whispered to no one in particular. Neijre weakly nodded and grabbed your hand. “He’s home..and he’s safe Y/N-Chan”

The 3 of you stayed behind in that position. Many people came over to say their condolences to you, which you said a sweet thank you to the person.

“I hope you guys don’t mind but..can I have some alone time with him real quick..?”

“No, not at all. Take your time. Come on Neijre” Mirio spoke up for the both of them, turning on his heels as he walked off somewhere else, the periwinkle haired girl following him close behind.

You let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through your hair. “Hey, my love..god it feels weird talking to you like this. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it but one day I’ll have to huh?” You chimed and sat on the bench that was next to his grave.

“You looked so peaceful over there earlier… I wish I looked that peaceful when I fall asleep now..but I can’t. Because all I think about is you…that’s all I want. I want you back baby. I want you back in my arms again..but I know that can’t happen” you spoke and clasped your hands together, setting them in your lap.

Something small caught your attention from the corner of your eye. You glanced over and saw a purple butterfly land on top of his gravestone.

You let out a small gasp. “Purple Emperor..those are your favorite Tama.,” you whispered and shakily stuck a finger out. The purple emperor majestically flew over to you and landed on your finger.

You stared down at it as tears welled up in your eyes. “Tamaki…” you whispered. At the sound of the name, the butterfly fluttered its wings as if it was responding to you.

“Oh, Tama… you’re so beautiful… a purple emperor. My little emperor… who would have known that you loved butterflies so much you would become one… so beautiful..” you trailed off and admired the beautiful shade of purple with grey gradients and the dash of white markings.

You shook your head lightly and stood up, taking 2 steps until you were standing in front of his grave.

“Keep going Tamaki..fly high for me butterfly” you recalled his words that he told you moments before he passed and gently let the butterfly go, watching it fly off to start its new adventure.

“This isn’t goodbye my love..I’ll see you soon. Wait for me” you whispered and brought your fingers to your lips, kissing them softly and placed it on the cold head of the gravestone.

You nodded internally and lifted your foot off the ground, taking a step towards your friends and continued onward. Their gentle smiles of encouragement kept you going. With your friends and family by your side, you could accomplish anything.

Tamaki’s death not only broke a part of you, but it made you a stronger individual. Acceptance. You were finally ready to accept it. With or without Tamaki, you were finally ready to continue to the next chapter of your life.

#bhna #mha #bhna x reader #bokonoacademia #myheroacademia #tamaki amajiki #amajiki tamaki #amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader #xreader #readerinsert #xreaderinsert

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newsies-of-corona · 4 years ago

Text

@cinn-a-mom here’s my part of the trade!! I hope you enjoy it!! (And thank you again for that beautiful Letter to the Refuge animatic!)

Broken Pieces

“Hairstripe! Hurry up, you slow poke!”

Hugo runs through Old Corona village, Varian trailing behind him carrying as much glassware as he possible can.

He tediously walks, one step at a time, trying his hardest not to drop any.

“Well...may-maybe you could give me a hand instead of, you know, yelling at me!” The glassware pile says from behind Hugo.

Oh wait, that’s Varian.

The beakers and vials begin to teeter over in the alchemist’s hands and almost hit the ground before Hugo swoops in and grabs half of the pile.

“Oh. There you are Hairstripe! You’re so short I couldn’t even see you behind all this stuff!” Hugo jokes with a smug smile.

Varian rolls his eyes, “Shut up, heh.”

He looks at the situation they had gotten themselves into with a small frown.

“Heh. Note to self...next-next time we definitely have to bring dad’s wheelbarrow when we buy glassware, heh.”

He almost drops a vial but steadies himself and continues walking.

“Yeah, no kidding. Though we wouldn’t need so much if someone didn’t blow everything up every two minutes,” Hugo remarks snidely.

“Hey! The last time was with your compound!” Varian fires back.

Hugo opens his mouth briefly, but remembers Varian is indeed correct.

“Touché...” he grumbles.

The two continue walking until they finally pass the marketplace. It’s only a couple more blocks to their house. They can make it without breaking any beakers, right?

Suddenly, a loud crash resulting from a broken flask causes Varian to whip his head around to face Hugo.

“Heh, now who’s-“

The alchemist immediately cuts himself off when he sees the boys’ biggest nemeses walking towards them: Hunter and Curtis.

Hunter is taller than Varian, but a lot shorter than Hugo. His brunette bangs swoop in front of his eyes on the left side of his face, covering one of his hazel eyes. Hunter’s father is a close friend of Quirin, and Varian has known the boy since they were kids. Only recently did he team up with Curtis when Varian exploded the town yet again. Curtis, a fiery red-head with a temper to match acts as the brains of the team while Hunter acts as the brawn. The two have been tormenting the brothers for about a month now, practically every time they leave the house.

“Right on cue...” Hugo whispers as he kicks away the glass.

Hunter is the cause of broken flask, and he stands there blocking the Hugo’s path along with his partner in crime.

“If it isn’t the Old Corona Menace and his assistant...” Curtis mocks, moving to block Varian’s path directly.

Hugo isn’t one for conflict, but he doesn’t like anyone insulting Varian either. And he especially hates that nickname that the village generously bestowed on his brother. He’d gladly take the fall for that one. He shakily delivers a snide comment.

“Oh, come-come on, fellas! You really need to step up your game on the insulting nicknames! I mean, Hairstripe may not look like much at first glance but he’s no assistant-“

Hunter laughs cynically and steps closer to Hugo. The brunette boy is significantly shorter than the blond, but he still intimidates Hugo enough to make him back up.

“You’re the assistant.”

Hugo stiffens slightly and gulps as Hunter gives him a shove, shaking him up and causing another test tube to crash to the ground.

Varian narrows his eyes at Hunter and grits his teeth. He’s heard the “Old Corona Menace” nickname multiple times before. He deserves it, but Hugo? Hugo should be allowed to have a better reputation.

“Sorry, what-what did you say to him?” Varian asks slowly.

Hunter starts to walk away from Hugo but Curtis stops him, enclosing in further on Varian.

“You heard him. That weakling orphan you call a ‘brother’ is just adding to our problem.”

“Yeah and that’s you Vari-jerk!” Hunter speaks up.

Hugo rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“Oh come on, that’s not even clever,” he voices under his breath.

“Shut it, Huge-o!” Hunter yells, trying to regain his ego.

Hugo resists the urge to roll his eyes again in fear of being beat up. Hunter may be shorter than him, but he and Curtis together can do a lot of damage. Especially considering the heaps of fragile and dangerous glassware that the alchemists were carrying.

“Listen, guys, we have a lot on our hands right now, literally,” Hugo puns. “So, maybe we can move our weekly bullying session over a day?”

He starts sweating nervously and backs up more when Hunter smirks at him, drawing even closer than before.

“Uh, or-or a month?”

A cynical laugh on Varian’s side causes Hugo to shift his focus away from Hunter.

“No this is a great time,” Curtis replies mockingly as he snatches up one of the flasks on top of Varian’s pile.

“Heh, uh, please don’t touch that...” Varian asks, trying to bottle up and distract from the anger he feels.

Curtis looks it over and tosses it back in forth in his hands.

“What is this anyway? Some kind of jar for your magical spells?”

Varian corrects him, just like he does everyone else. Even if this time it’s a little more strained.

“Heh..technically it’s not magic, it’s alchemy, and-and that’s actually a-“

Curtis drops the flask on the ground before Varian can finish, and it shatters into a million pieces.

“Ugh you’re such a nerd. Both of you. Let me let you in on something: no one cares about your sorcery-“

“Alchemy.” Hugo speaks up under his breath, but unfortunately Hunter hears him. He rolls up his sleeve, jumps up, and punches Hugo straight in the face.

The blow is so unexpected and so forceful that it causes him to stagger back. He drops all the glassware and it shatters around his feet. Hugo holds his injured cheek which most likely contains a bruise.

“Just another one for the collection...” he whispers, trying to stay strong.

“Maybe that’ll teach you to keep your mouth shut, Huge-o. You should have just stayed an orphan. You’re more of a nothing now than you were before.”

Hugo tries to keep in his tears, but Curtis’s words cut deep. He simply looks up at the boy with hurt and angry eyes.

“Awe. You gonna cry?” Hunter taunts, glancing kicking some of the glass in Hugo’s direction.

Varian stays silent through this whole exchange...but livid. His eye begins to twitch as his grip on the glassware tightens, causing some of the beakers he’s holding start to crack from the pressure.

“Whatever you call it, we’re tired of you morons blowing up our town! And if we get all your magic stuff out of the way...” Hunter moves over to Varian and grabs two test tubes from his pile, smashing them both to the ground.

Curtis crosses over to Hugo who’s still holding his injured cheek. The red-head threateningly stalks closer and hits the inside of his hand with his fist.

Varian can’t hold it in anymore and he throws down all of the glassware he’s holding. The sound of the glass shattering causes both bullies to stare straight at him.

“Don’t you dare touch my brother again,” he warns between gritted teeth.

Curtis and Hunter glance at each other nervously for a moment. After all, this is the kid who blew up their entire village only a month prior. Both of their houses were damaged in the explosion. There’s no telling what the “dangerous wizard” could do to them.

“Hairstripe, don’t-“

The desperation in Hugo’s voice seems to push Curtis on, even though he’s still wary of Varian.

“Wha-what are you gonna do? Explode us?” Curtis asks with a nervous laugh.

His comment gives Varian an idea and he readies a smoke bomb from his pocket.

He glances to Hugo behind him and backs up.

“Come on, Vari-jerk! Show us what you got!” Hunter chimes in.

Curtis shoots him a look. As far as they knew, Varian could kill them if they weren’t careful. However, this doesn’t stop the bullies from cornering the alchemy brothers anyway, their fists dangerously close to the alchemists’ faces.

At the last second, Varian gives Hugo a short nod and throws his purple smoke bomb on the ground. Before it hits, the brothers sprint away as fast as they can, leaving their attackers coughing and surrounded in smoke.

The two run all the way back to their house, stopping right outside of the farm to catch their breaths.

“Varian...the glassware-“

The alchemist cuts him off, still angry at the bullies.

“Hugo, I could care less about the glassware. We can buy more...eventually...”

He trails off, knowing it won’t be any time soon. They were in danger every time they left their house. He sighs and continues voicing his grievances.

“But Curtis and Hunter have-have been tormenting us for too long. I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing!”

Hugo rubs his cheek, his fingers hitting an old bruise next to his fresh one. Varian sees him wince in pain, and furrows his own eyebrows.

“We-we’re telling dad what happened.” He states matter-of-factly as he marches towards the house. “He’s the village leader, for Demanitus sake! He-he can do something-“

Hugo catches up with Varian and stands in front of him. The last thing he wants right now is to cause more problems for his family...

“No, Hairstripe. I’ll just say it was another acid burn...if he asks.”

“But Hugo-“

The blond calmly cuts him off again.

“There’s no reason to get them into more trouble. I mean we already destroyed their houses, which they won’t let us live down...”

Varian starts to raise his voice, not understanding why Hugo doesn’t agree with him on this.

“Hugo, that-that was my invention. You had nothing to do with it. But Hunter hit you! Twice in the last week! And the things Curtis said were...were inexcusable! Don’t-don’t you think they deserve some form of punishment?”

Hugo notes Varian’s tone; he sounds actually...angry. And when Varian was angry, the only smart thing to do is to listen. Hugo carefully considers his brother’s words. Even though Quirin adopted him years ago, it still feels weird to have people standing up for him. Almost as if he didn’t deserve it.

“Maybe...” he trails off.

But what would happen after the boys were punished? The bullying wouldn’t stop, that’s for sure. Everyone in the town already hates them. If Curtis and Hunter were taken down, there would surely be others to take their place, most likely targeting Varian. Hugo couldn’t take that chance. He could deal with a couple dumb bullies for his brother’s sake.

Hugo takes a breath and shrugs, standing up straighter to show he’s okay.

“But it’s just a bruise! Plus Hunter’s punches are wimpy anyway. Same with his nicknames,” the blond jokes.

Varian’s intense glare softens and he chuckles slightly.

“Yeah those nicknames are pretty dumb, heh. I mean ‘Huge-o?’ Really?”

Hugo smiles, glad that he successfully changed the subject.

“And ‘Vari-jerk?’ That’s Vari-insulting to many other Vari-interesting words that flow seamlessly with your name.”

Varian rolls his eyes but ends up laughing. He can always count on Hugo to cheer him up. Even if it’s with dumb puns. But that doesn’t erase that matter at hand.

“Are you sure, though? About keeping it a secret again?” The alchemist asks, hoping for a different response.

Hugo’s face falls, Varian isn’t going to let this go so easily, but he can still try to avoid the subject as long as possible.

“Yeah. I’m sure.” Hugo stays serious for a moment before his tone flips back to joking.

“Plus I’m sure you already scared them silly with that smoke bomb stunt.” He elbows Varian in camaraderie and the alchemist returns the gesture.

“Well they literally asked for it! And you can’t say they didn’t deserve it, heh.”

Hugo shrugs in agreement and the two walk a bit further to the door. Varian starts to walk in when Hugo stops him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hairstripe...Varian. I don’t say this enough but...thank you for sticking up for me. It means a lot,” he tells his brother sincerely with a slight smile between the pain of his bruise.

Varian is slightly surprised at this out of the blue gratitude from Hugo, but smiles back and shrugs nonchalantly.

“Of course, Hugo. That’s what brothers are for, you know? We stick together,” he tells him, bumping him on the arm.

Hugo rolls his eyes but still maintains his smile. This is getting a bit too sappy for him, even though he secretly enjoys the affection. He tries to change the subject again.

“Ha, yeah. So much so that I’m apparently your ‘assistant.’”

He smirks, elbowing Varian again.

“I thought that was Cassie’s job!”

Varian immediately turns red and elbows Hugo.

“GAH! H-hey-shut up!” He retorts.

Their little episode at the expo is not one to forget. And Hugo will never let him live down the “Cassandrium” incident. Luckily, they both know he’s joking. Hugo’s comments aren’t painful or cutting like Curtis’s, just mildly annoying. But Varian wouldn’t change it for the world.

The two stand in an awkward silence for a while in front of the door, when Varian decides to go for it. He suddenly wraps Hugo in a hug, causing the taller boy to tense.

After the initial shock, Hugo’s wary at first, but he hugs him back. Like it or not, he really needs this.

“I-I just wanted to say, even though you’re adopted, I still love you as my real brother, Hugo,” Varian tells him genuinely. “Nothing is ever going to change that.”

Hugo blushes nervously, but the corners of his mouth start to turn up in a smile.

“I...uh...”

He sighs, and finally gives in to the “sappy” moment.

“I love you too, Hairstripe.”

And he means it. Their glassware might be broken, and even their reputation is shattered into pieces, but they have each other and that’s all that really matters.

———————————————————————

I hope you all enjoyed this one! It hurt me to write those bullies...haha, but I actually loved writing the story!! Thank you so much Mom for asking for this!!! 💙

#it’s soft until i mention that this is in the same au as ‘I Promise...’#varian and the seven kingdoms #hugo seven kingdoms #alchemy bros #best friends au #varian #tts fics #platonic i love you’s amiright?

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choose-your-own-pronouns · 3 years ago

Text

CYOP: On The Road: Part 2

Part 1

He/him type pronouns: he/him/his/himself “he was”

Replace:

[insert gender here] (IE: “nonbinary” “a man” “a woman” “genderless” ect)

[he]

[his]

[him]

[himself]

“Hey guys, say hi to our new digger, [Name]! [He] just moved here from past Clade’s Edge, and [he] came all this way just to work on the Great Machine with us, so I know you’ll all give [him] a very warm welcome, isn’t that right, Lern?”

One of the people scattered around the fire in the middle of the camp threw their arms into the air and protested, “I didn’t even do anything yet!”

“Exactly!” Kvalic slashed a wing through the air for emphasis. “Keep it that way!”

[Name] wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed or amused. Kvalic hadn’t mentioned anything about a troublestarter on the walk over. [He] wasn’t sure how seriously [he] was supposed to be taking this interaction. Did Lern actually do something wrong with past workers, or was this just some sort of inside joke?

“Uh, should I be worried?” [He] asked hesitantly, keeping [his] voice low so only Kvalic could hear.

But instead of giving a serious answer like [he] hoped, Kvalic just laughed loudly, and lightly slapped [his] shoulder with a wing, cackling, “Only if you like fish!”

This caused a scattering of laughter from some of the other workers, except for Lern, who continued to protest their innocence in what sounded like genuine grievance.

[Name] was glad [he] was wearing a mask to keep out the dust and night insects, because it meant [he] didn’t have to keep the annoyed scowl off [his] face.

If these people were going to be this annoying the whole time [he] was working with them, [he] had the feeling [he] wouldn’t be working here long.

Kvalic abruptly turned and left without any further conversation or warning, apparently deciding that that was enough of an introduction that zis job here was done, leaving [Name] standing awkwardly at the edge of the circle, with no idea what to do next.

There were at least three different species of people here, none of whom were even the same species as Kvalic, and [Name] had no idea what kind of etiquette they would expect from [him].

Fortunately, one of them decided to take pity on [his] clear confusion, and came over to greet [him] properly, stepping over other people’s assorted legs and tails and lounging bodies to join [him] at the edge of the circle while the rest of them went back to talking amongst themselves.

They were another quadruped, but unlike [him], they had two pairs of arms, not just one. Their legs were in the middle of their body, with the front pair hending backwards, and the back pair bending forwards, with a matching set of arms in front of and behind them.

From what [he] could tell just by looking, they appeared to have hard, chitin like armour like an insect, instead of fur, feathers, scales, bark, or skin.

Most of their body was orange, with thick, lighter yellow stripes on the back of their thorax, and smaller light yellow spots on their abdomen. Their top parts of their arms and legs were grey-brown, and their hands, lower legs, and feet were bright yellow, reflecting back the light of the fire whenever they moved. Their head sat at the front of their body on a short neck, and was shaped like an oval, with a single orange eye at the front, two depressions that might have been ears or a nose on the sides, and mandibles for a mouth.

“Hello,” They said, sitting down in front of [him] and holding out both of their front hands in a familiar greeting. [He] copied them gratefully, sitting down in the tough grass and reaching forward with [his] fronds.

Theirs were smaller than [his], with three appendages tipped with long, hard claws, in sharp contrast to [his] six flexible tendrils. Since [his] fronds were softer, [he] placed [his] on top of theirs, and they touched them together for a moment before pulling back.

Nothing exciting happened, which [he]’d been expecting, but surprisingly, there was a slight tingle on the tips of [his] tendrils, indicating that at least some sort of transference had happened, just not enough to tell anything by, at least on [his] end.

“My name’s [Name].” [He] said, not sure how much information they’d gotten out of that, “I’m [insert gender here], and I go by [he],[him],[his], and [himself]. What about you? I’m sorry, our chemicals aren’t compatible enough for me to have gotten any information.”

They opened their mandibles wide in what [he] recognized easily as a friendly smile. “My name is Oleili Tevisi, and you can call me Oleili, it’s my personal name. I am liavnu, and I go by li, lia, lias, and liaself. It’s nice to meet you, [Name]. I’m sorry Kvalic seems to have abandoned you, ze does that with everyone. Ze seems to think that being dropped into a situation without help is the best way to learn, which is why it’s a very good thing ze isn’t in charge of anything except giving new hires the tour.”

“And just for the record!” A voice called out from the circle that [Name] recognized as Lern’s, “I’m not going to eat you, no matter what Kvalic else says! Ze’s just joking, and don’t know how to convey it!”

“No,” Another voice piped up, “Dy’m pretty sure at this point ze just refuses to learn.. Dy’ve been here since the start and Dy tried to teach zim when Dy first met zim, and no matter how many times Dy explain it to zim, ze never listens. Ze doesn’t want to learn, ze thinks we should all just be able to magically tell when ze’s joking and when ze’s being serious.”

Yeah, that fit with what [Name] had seen of Kvalic so far. [He] shook [his] head in exasperation. “Doesn’t ze know how hard it is to read the tone and body language of an unfamiliar species?”

“Yes,” Oleili said, “But ze doesn’t care. Ze thinks its everyone else’s problem. There have been many complains to zis superiors, but no one ever does anything. We have a theory that ze’s a favorite sibling of one of the council members, but no one knows for sure.” Li stood, gesturing with lia head towards the crowded circle. “Enough about out annoying boss. Come sit with us, we can all properly introduce ourselves, and you can get something to eat. You get your first rations on the first full day you work, so you’ll get yours tomorrow, but we always pool ours, and there are plenty to go around.”

Li lead the way, and [he] followed, grateful that the other workers were considerate enough this time to pull their legs and tails and other appendages out of the way so [he] could walk past them without worrying about stepping on anyone.

They’d all arranged themselves in circles around the stove in the middle of the clearing, with smaller people close to the fire and larger people in the back, though it didn’t seem to be a universal rule. Some people were sitting on the dirt or grass itself, some were sitting on blankets, and a few had cushions.

Oleili led [him] to an open space in the middle where li had been sitting on a dark green blanket, and someone threw a cushion so that it landed right in front of [Name]. [He] jumped in surprise, then called in the general direction it had come from, “Thanks!” right as another cushion flew through the air and slammed into [his] face.

It was heavy enough to knock him to the ground, and the shock of it left [him] dazed for a few seconds, trying to figure out what had happened and why [his] face and shoulder suddenly hurt.

The camp was humming with thunderous vibrations, but [he] couldn’t figure out what anyone was saying past the dull throb in the side of [his] head where it had hit the dirt.

[He] pushed [himself] upright, lifting a frond to [his] face to make sure [he] wasn’t bleeding, and found [himself] staring into Oleili’s single large eye, wide with concern, less than a few inches from [his] face. [He] jerked back instinctively, and felt the fragile metal of [his] hearing-aid dislodge even further.

Oleili backed up a bit to give [him] more space, and lia mandibles opened and closed, but [he] couldn’t make sense of it. Li didn’t have lips for [him] to read, and even if li did, [he] didn’t speak the language, and without [his] hearing-aid, [he] couldn’t hear or understand what anyone was trying to say.

[He] guessed that li was asking if [he] was okay, and lifted both [his] fronds to reassure li, and did [his] best to say clearly, “I’m okay, my hearing-aid just got knocked loose, I can’t understand you, I have to fix it first.” [He] could feel it inside [his] ear, the two main pieces knocked out of the base. They were all connected with tiny wires that were rooted in [his] skull, so there wasn’t any danger of them falling out of [his] ear entirely, but [he] had to fix them before [he] would be able to hear or understand anyone that didn’t speak sign-language.

Most of the other workers had gotten to their feet and gathered around [Name], as well as another person further back in the crowd that [he] couldn’t see past the gathered people, probably the person who’d thrown the second cushion. [Name] was giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that hitting [him] in the face had been an accident.

Oleili was trying to talk to [him] again, moving lia mandibles and gesturing with lia hands in a way that meant nothing that [he] could understand.

But there should be nothing stopping lia from understanding or hearing [him], so [he] said again, enunciating as best [he] could when [he] couldn’t hear the sounds [he] was making, “I’m not hurt, but my hearing-aid was knocked loose, and I have to get my friend to fix it for me. Can you show me the way back to the main entrance? They’re not a worker, they’re camped outside. I’ll know my way from there, I just don’t remember how to get back to the entrance. Can you show me?”

Trying to speak out loud when [he] couldn’t hear what [he] was saying was always hit or miss. [He] couldn’t tell if [he] was speaking too loudly, or not loudly enough.

Oleili seemed confused, but after a moment li deliberately nodded lia head, then glanced over lia shoulder to say something to the rest of the crowd.

Li turned back to [Name] and gestured for [him] to turn around, so [he] did so, heading back towards the spot where Kvalic had left [him] at the entrance to the clearing as the crowd parted to let [him] pass without issue, many of them looking concerned.

[He] resisted the urge to sigh as Oleili moved past [him] to lead [him] down the correct path. The annoyance wasn’t directed at lia though.

This was a frequent issue with [his] hearing-aid, and finding a solution was one of the major reasons [he]’d decided to come all this way to Bricklayer and work on the Great Machine.

The main reason was that the surgeons in Bricklayer were probably the only people within a year’s journey that could perform the surgeries that Aryl and Xaurec needed.

The other reason was that Kanta was looking for mates for the first time, and wanted the good luck that came with pairing with people who lived far away. Especially if xe could convince some of them to return with them when they went back to their territory, and bring their luck with them.

Hopefully some of that luck would rub off on [Name] so that [he] could find someone besides Xaurec who could fix [his] hearing-aid for [him]. Or so that [he] would be able to find someone who could permanently stabilize it sooner rather than later. Or maybe just someone who was smart enough to build an entirely new one from scratch.

The scientist who had created it for [him] had disappeared just as abruptly as he had appeared, dashing all over the territory with his companion like a kaliba that had broken into the stores of fermenting fruit. [Name] didn’t even know his name, he’d just called himself a doctor without elaborating further. [Name] didn’t know where he was from, who he was related to, or where [he] could find him again.

Maybe he would be here, working on the Great Machine, but he had disappeared so quickly that [Name] wasn’t going to get [his] hopes up. Maybe [he] would never see him again, and would just have to hope that [he] could find someone else who knew how to work the hearing-aid enough to fix it.

It obviously hadn’t been designed for twoqi use, unless whoever had designed it wanted it to be so obnoxious and inconvenient that at times [Name] was tempted to rip it out and throw it into the creek.

And oh, how convenient. There was a creek that ran parallel to the path Oleili was leading [him] down now, lia orange markings seeming to glow in the darkness. [He] could rip the darn thing out of [his] ear and chuck it in to be swept away if [he] wanted to.

But…[he] wasn’t quite that annoyed with it just yet.

Xaurec could fix it for [him] tonight, and tomorrow, well tomorrow was [his] first day of labor, so [he] would have to wait and see what exactly that entailed before making any final decisions.

Until then, [he] followed Oleili into the deepening night, hoping things would be better in the morning.

============================

She/her type pronouns: she/her/hers/herself “she was”

Replace:

[she]

[her]

[hers]

[herself]

[insert gender here] (IE: “nonbinary” “a man” “a woman” “genderless” ect)

“Hey guys, say hi to our new digger, [Name]! [She] just moved here from past Clade’s Edge, and [she] came all this way just to work on the Great Machine with us, so I know you’ll all give [her] a very warm welcome, isn’t that right, Lern?”

One of the people scattered around the fire in the middle of the camp threw their arms into the air and protested, “I didn’t even do anything yet!”

“Exactly!” Kvalic slashed a wing through the air for emphasis. “Keep it that way!”

[Name] wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed or amused. Kvalic hadn’t mentioned anything about a troublestarter on the walk over. [She] wasn’t sure how seriously [she] was supposed to be taking this interaction. Did Lern actually do something wrong with past workers, or was this just some sort of inside joke?

“Uh, should I be worried?” [She] asked hesitantly, keeping [her] voice low so only Kvalic could hear.

But instead of giving a serious answer like [she] hoped, Kvalic just laughed loudly, and lightly slapped [her] shoulder with a wing, cackling, “Only if you like fish!”

This caused a scattering of laughter from some of the other workers, except for Lern, who continued to protest their innocence in what sounded like genuine grievance.

[Name] was glad [she] was wearing a mask to keep out the dust and night insects, because it meant [she] didn’t have to keep the annoyed scowl off [her] face.

If these people were going to be this annoying the whole time [she] was working with them, [she] had the feeling [she] wouldn’t be working here long.

There were at least three different species of people here, none of whom were even the same species as Kvalic, and [Name] had no idea what kind of etiquette they would expect from [her].

Fortunately, one of them decided to take pity on [her] clear confusion, and came over to greet [her] properly, stepping over other people’s assorted legs and tails and lounging bodies to join [her] at the edge of the circle while the rest of them went back to talking amongst themselves.

They were another quadruped, but unlike [her], they had two pairs of arms, not just one. Their legs were in the middle of their body, with the front pair hending backwards, and the back pair bending forwards, with a matching set of arms in front of and behind them.

From what [she] could tell just by looking, they appeared to have hard, chitin like armour like an insect, instead of fur, feathers, scales, bark, or skin.

“Hello,” They said, sitting down in front of [her] and holding out both of their front hands in a familiar greeting. [She] copied them gratefully, sitting down in the tough grass and reaching forward with [her] fronds.

Theirs were smaller than [hers], with three appendages tipped with long, hard claws, in sharp contrast to [her] six flexible tendrils. Since [her] fronds were softer, [she] placed [hers] on top of theirs, and they touched them together for a moment before pulling back.

Nothing exciting happened, which [she]’d been expecting, but surprisingly, there was a slight tingle on the tips of [her] tendrils, indicating that at least some sort of transference had happened, just not enough to tell anything by, at least on [her] end.

“My name’s [Name].” [She] said, not sure how much information they’d gotten out of that, “I’m [insert gender here], and I go by [she],[her],[hers], and [herself]. What about you? I’m sorry, our chemicals aren’t compatible enough for me to have gotten any information.”

They opened their mandibles wide in what [she] recognized easily as a friendly smile. “My name is Oleili Tevisi, and you can call me Oleili, it’s my personal name. I am liavnu, and I go by li, lia, lias, and liaself. It’s nice to meet you, [Name]. I’m sorry Kvalic seems to have abandoned you, ze does that with everyone. Ze seems to think that being dropped into a situation without help is the best way to learn, which is why it’s a very good thing ze isn’t in charge of anything except giving new hires the tour.”

“No,” Another voice piped up, “Dy’m pretty sure at this point ze just refuses to learn. Dy’ve been here since the start and Dy tried to teach zim when Dy first met zim, and no matter how many times Dy explain it to zim, ze never listens. Ze doesn’t want to learn, ze thinks we should all just be able to magically tell when ze’s joking and when ze’s being serious.”

Yeah, that fit with what [Name] had seen of Kvalic so far. [She] shook [her] head in exasperation. “Doesn’t ze know how hard it is to read the tone and body language of an unfamiliar species?”

“Yes,” Oleili said, “But ze doesn’t care. Ze thinks its everyone else’s problem. There have been many complains to zis superiors, but no one ever does anything. We have a theory that ze’s a favorite sibling of one of the council members, but no one knows for sure.” Li stood, gesturing with lia head towards the crowded circle. “Enough about our annoying boss. Come sit with us, we can all properly introduce ourselves, and you can get something to eat. You get your first rations on the first full day you work, so you’ll get yours tomorrow, but we always pool ours, and there are plenty to go around.”

Li lead the way, and [Name] followed, grateful that the other workers were considerate enough this time to pull their legs and tails and other appendages out of the way so [she] could walk past them without worrying about stepping on anyone.

Oleili led [her] to an open space in the middle where li had been sitting on a dark green blanket, and someone threw a cushion so that it landed right in front of [Name]. [She] jumped in surprise, then called in the general direction it had come from, “Thanks!” right as another cushion flew through the air and slammed into [her] face.

It was heavy enough to knock [her] to the ground, and the shock of it left [her] dazed for a few seconds, trying to figure out what had happened and why [her] face and shoulder suddenly hurt.

The camp was suddenly humming with thunderous vibrations, but [she] couldn’t figure out what anyone was saying past the dull throb in the side of [her] head where it had hit the dirt.

[She] pushed [herself] upright, lifting a frond to [her] face to make sure [she] wasn’t bleeding, and found [herself] staring into Oleili’s single large eye, wide with concern, less than a few inches from [her] face. [She] jerked back instinctively, and felt the fragile metal of [her] hearing-aid dislodge even further.

Oleili backed up a bit to give [her] more space, and lia mandibles opened and closed, but [she] couldn’t make sense of it. Li didn’t have lips for [her] to read, and even if li did, [she] didn’t speak the language, and without [her] hearing-aid, [she] couldn’t hear or understand what anyone was trying to say.

[She] guessed that li was asking if [she] was okay, and lifted both [her] fronds to reassure lia, and did [her] best to say clearly, “I’m okay, my hearing-aid just got knocked loose, I can’t understand you, I have to fix it first.” [She] could feel it inside [her] ear, the two main pieces knocked out of the base. They were all connected with tiny wires that were rooted in [her] skull, so there wasn’t any danger of them falling out of [her] ear entirely, but [she] had to fix them before [she] would be able to hear or understand anyone that didn’t speak [her] territory’s sign-language.

Most of the other workers had gotten to their feet and gathered around [Name], as well as another person further back in the crowd that [she] couldn’t see past the gathered people, probably the person who’d thrown the second cushion. [Name] was giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that hitting [her] in the face had been an accident.

Oleili was trying to talk to [her] again, moving lia mandibles and gesturing with lia hands in a way that meant nothing that [she] could understand.

But there should be nothing stopping lia from understanding or hearing [her], so [she] said again, enunciating as best [she] could when [she] couldn’t hear the sounds [she] was making, “I’m not hurt, but my hearing-aid was knocked loose, and I have to get my friend to fix it for me. Can you show me the way back to the main entrance? They’re not a worker, they’re camped outside. I’ll know my way from there, I just don’t remember how to get back to the entrance. Can you show me?”

Trying to speak out loud when [she] couldn’t hear what [she] was saying was always hit or miss. [She] couldn’t tell if [she] was speaking too loudly, or not loudly enough.

Oleili seemed confused, but after a moment li deliberately nodded lia head, then glanced over lia shoulder to say something to the rest of the crowd.

Li turned back to [Name] and gestured for [her] to turn around, so [she] did so, heading back towards the spot where Kvalic had left [her] at the entrance to the clearing as the crowd parted to let [her] pass without issue, many of them looking concerned.

[She] resisted the urge to sigh as Oleili moved past [her] to lead [her] down the correct path. The annoyance wasn’t directed at lia though.

This was a frequent issue with [her] hearing-aid, and finding a solution was one of the major reasons [she]’d decided to come all this way to Bricklayer and work on the Great Machine.

The main reason was that the surgeons in Bricklayer were probably the only people within a year’s journey that could perform the surgeries that Aryl and Xaurec needed.

Hopefully some of that luck would rub off on [Name] so that [she] could find someone besides Xaurec who could fix [her] hearing-aid for [her]. Or so that [she] would be able to find someone who could permanently stabilize it sooner rather than later. Or maybe just someone who was smart enough to build an entirely new one from scratch.

The scientist who had created it for [her] had disappeared just as abruptly as he had appeared, dashing all over the territory with his companion like a kaliba that had broken into the stores of fermenting fruit. [Name] didn’t even know his name, he’d just called himself a doctor without elaborating further. [Name] didn’t know where he was from, who he was related to, or where [she] could find him again.

Maybe he would be here, working on the Great Machine, but he had disappeared so quickly that [Name] wasn’t going to get [her] hopes up. Maybe [she] would never see him again, and would just have to hope that [she] could find someone else who knew how to work the hearing-aid enough to fix it.

And oh, how convenient. There was a creek that ran parallel to the path Oleili was leading [her] down now, lia orange markings seeming to glow in the darkness. [She] could rip the darn thing out of [her] ear and chuck it in to be swept away if [she] wanted to.

But…[she] wasn’t quite that annoyed with it just yet.

Xaurec could fix it for [her] tonight, and tomorrow, well tomorrow was [her] first day of labor, so [she] would have to wait and see what exactly that entailed before making any final decisions.

Until then, [she] followed Oleili into the deepening night, hoping things would be better in the morning.

============================

They/them type pronouns: they/them/their/theirs/themselves “they were”

Replace:

[they]

[them]

[their]

[theirs]

[themselves]

[insert gender here] (IE: “nonbinary” “a man” “a woman” “genderless” ect)

“Hey guys, say hi to our new digger, [Name]! [They] just moved here from past Clade’s Edge, and [they] came all this way just to work on the Great Machine with us, so I know you’ll all give [them] a very warm welcome, isn’t that right, Lern?”

One of the people scattered around the fire in the middle of the camp threw their arms into the air and protested, “I didn’t even do anything yet!”

“Exactly!” Kvalic slashed a wing through the air for emphasis. “Keep it that way!”

[Name] wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed or amused. Kvalic hadn’t mentioned anything about a troublestarter on the walk over. [They] weren’t sure how seriously [they] were supposed to be taking this interaction. Did Lern actually do something wrong with past workers, or was this just some sort of inside joke?

“Uh, should I be worried?” [They] asked hesitantly, keeping [their] voice low so only Kvalic could hear.

But instead of giving a serious answer like [they] hoped, Kvalic just laughed loudly, and lightly slapped [them] shoulder with a wing, cackling, “Only if you like fish!”

This caused a scattering of laughter from some of the other workers, except for Lern, who continued to protest their innocence in what sounded like genuine grievance.

[Name] was glad [they] were wearing a mask to keep out the dust and night insects, because it meant [they] didn’t have to keep the annoyed scowl off [their] face.

If these people were going to be this annoying the whole time [they] were working with them, [they] had the feeling [they] wouldn’t be working here long.

There were at least three different species of people here, none of whom were even the same species as Kvalic, and [Name] had no idea what kind of etiquette they would expect from [them].

Fortunately, one of them decided to take pity on [their] clear confusion, and came over to greet [them] properly, stepping over other people’s assorted legs and tails and lounging bodies to join [them] at the edge of the circle while the rest of them went back to talking amongst themselves.

They were another quadruped, but unlike [them], they had two pairs of arms, not just one. Their legs were in the middle of their body, with the front pair hending backwards, and the back pair bending forwards, with a matching set of arms in front of and behind them.

From what [they] could tell just by looking, they appeared to have hard, chitin like armour like an insect, instead of fur, feathers, scales, bark, or skin.

“Hello,” They said, sitting down in front of [them] and holding out both of their front hands in a familiar greeting. [They] copied them gratefully, sitting down in the tough grass and reaching forward with [their] fronds.

Theirs were smaller than [theirs], with three appendages tipped with long, hard claws, in sharp contrast to [their] six flexible tendrils. Since [their] fronds were softer, [they] placed [theirs] on top of theirs, and they touched them together for a moment before pulling back.

Nothing exciting happened, which [they]’d been expecting, but surprisingly, there was a slight tingle on the tips of [their] tendrils, indicating that at least some sort of transference had happened, just not enough to tell anything by, at least on [their] end.

“My name’s [Name].” [They] said, not sure how much information they’d gotten out of that, “I’m [insert gender here], and I go by [they],[them], [theirs], and [themselves]. What about you? I’m sorry, our chemicals aren’t compatible enough for me to have gotten any information.”

They opened their mandibles wide in what [they] recognized easily as a friendly smile. “My name is Oleili Tevisi, and you can call me Oleili, it’s my personal name. I am liavnu, and I go by li, lia, lias, and liaself. It’s nice to meet you, [Name]. I’m sorry Kvalic seems to have abandoned you, ze does that with everyone. Ze seems to think that being dropped into a situation without help is the best way to learn, which is why it’s a very good thing ze isn’t in charge of anything except giving new hires the tour.”

Yeah, that fit with what [Name] had seen of Kvalic so far. [They] shook [their] head in exasperation. “Doesn’t ze know how hard it is to read the tone and body language of an unfamiliar species?”

“Yes,” Oleili said, “But ze doesn’t care. Ze thinks its everyone else’s problem. There have been many complains to zis superiors, but no one ever does anything. We have a theory that ze’s a favorite sibling of one of the council members, but no one knows for sure.” Li stood, gesturing with lia head towards the crowded circle. “Enough about our annoying boss. Come sit with us, we can all properly introduce ourselves, and you can get something to eat. You get your first rations on the first full day you work, so you’ll get yours tomorrow, but we always pool ours, and there are plenty to go around.”

Li lead the way, and [Name] followed, grateful that the other workers were considerate enough this time to pull their legs and tails and other appendages out of the way so [they] could walk past them without worrying about stepping on anyone.

Oleili led [them] to an open space in the middle where li had been sitting on a dark green blanket, and someone threw a cushion so that it landed right in front of [Name]. [They] jumped in surprise, then called in the general direction it had come from, “Thanks!” right as another cushion flew through the air and slammed into [their] face.

It was heavy enough to knock [them] to the ground, and the shock of it left [them] dazed for a few seconds, trying to figure out what had happened and why [their] face and shoulder suddenly hurt.

The camp was suddenly humming with thunderous vibrations, but [they] couldn’t figure out what anyone was saying past the dull throb in the side of [their] head where it had hit the dirt.

[They] pushed [themselves] upright, lifting a frond to [their] face to make sure [they] wasn’t bleeding, and found [themselves] staring into Oleili’s single large eye, wide with concern, less than a few inches from [their] face. [They] jerked back instinctively, and felt the fragile metal of [their] hearing-aid dislodge even further.

Oleili backed up a bit to give [them] more space, and lia mandibles opened and closed, but [they] couldn’t make sense of it. Li didn’t have lips for [them] to read, and even if li did, [they] didn’t speak the language, and without [their] hearing-aid, [they] couldn’t hear or understand what anyone was trying to say.

[They] guessed that li was asking if [they] were okay, and lifted both [their] fronds to reassure lia, and did [their] best to say clearly, “I’m okay, my hearing-aid just got knocked loose, I can’t understand you, I have to fix it first.” [They] could feel it inside [their] ear, the two main pieces knocked out of the base. They were all connected with tiny wires that were rooted in [their] skull, so there wasn’t any danger of them falling out of [their] ear entirely, but [they] had to fix them before [they] would be able to hear or understand anyone that didn’t speak [their] territory’s sign-language.

Most of the other workers had gotten to their feet and gathered around [Name], as well as another person further back in the crowd that [they] couldn’t see past the gathered people, probably the person who’d thrown the second cushion. [Name] was giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that hitting [them] in the face had been an accident.

Oleili was trying to talk to [them] again, moving lia mandibles and gesturing with lia hands in a way that meant nothing that [they] could understand.

But there should be nothing stopping lia from understanding or hearing [them], so [they] said again, enunciating as best [they] could when [they] couldn’t hear the sounds [they] was making, “I’m not hurt, but my hearing-aid was knocked loose, and I have to get my friend to fix it for me. Can you show me the way back to the main entrance? They’re not a worker, they’re camped outside. I’ll know my way from there, I just don’t remember how to get back to the entrance. Can you show me?”

Trying to speak out loud when [they] couldn’t hear what [they] were saying was always hit or miss. [They] couldn’t tell if [they] were speaking too loudly, or not loudly enough.

Oleili seemed confused, but after a moment li deliberately nodded lia head, then glanced over lia shoulder to say something to the rest of the crowd.

Li turned back to [Name] and gestured for [them] to turn around, so [they] did so, heading back towards the spot where Kvalic had left [them] at the entrance to the clearing as the crowd parted to let [them] pass without issue, many of them looking concerned.

[They] resisted the urge to sigh as Oleili moved past [them] to lead [them] down the correct path. The annoyance wasn’t directed at lia though.

This was a frequent issue with [their] hearing-aid, and finding a solution was one of the major reasons [they]’d decided to come all this way to Bricklayer and work on the Great Machine.

The main reason was that the surgeons in Bricklayer were probably the only people within a year’s journey that could perform the surgeries that Aryl and Xaurec needed.

Hopefully some of that luck would rub off on [Name] so that [they] could find someone besides Xaurec who could fix [their] hearing-aid for [them]. Or so that [they] would be able to find someone who could permanently stabilize it sooner rather than later. Or maybe just someone who was smart enough to build an entirely new one from scratch.

The scientist who had created it for [them] had disappeared just as abruptly as he had appeared, dashing all over the territory with his companion like a kaliba that had broken into the stores of fermenting fruit. [Name] didn’t even know his name, he’d just called himself a doctor without elaborating further. [Name] didn’t know where he was from, who he was related to, or where [they] could find him again.

Maybe he would be here, working on the Great Machine, but he had disappeared so quickly that [Name] wasn’t going to get [their] hopes up. Maybe [they] would never see him again, and would just have to hope that [they] could find someone else who knew how to work the hearing-aid enough to fix it.

And oh, how convenient. There was a creek that ran parallel to the path Oleili was leading [them] down now, lia orange markings seeming to glow in the darkness. [They] could rip the darn thing out of [them] ear and chuck it in to be swept away if [they] wanted to.

But…[they] weren’t quite that annoyed with it just yet.

Xaurec could fix it for [them] tonight, and tomorrow, well tomorrow was [their] first day of labor, so [they] would have to wait and see what exactly that entailed before making any final decisions.

Until then, [they] followed Oleili into the deepening night, hoping things would be better in the morning.

#choose your own pronouns #pronouns #pronoun tester #pronoun testing #name testing #name tester #neopronouns #xenogender #nonbinary #trans #queer #mogai #pride

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years ago

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Falcon and Winter Soldier Episode 4- My Thoughts

Okay. I have no idea what to expect now. As always, spoilers under the cut.

This episode shook things up by starting off with a flashback, involving the time Bucky spent in Wakanda after the events of Civil War. It’s the moment where Shuri managed to remove the Winter Soldier programing from Bucky’s brain, and Ayo is personally performing a test to make sure the procedure was truly successful. As many people have already discussed, this whole scene was masterfully done. As Ayo is reciting the Winter Soldier Activation Words, Bucky’s utter fear of relapsing is tangible in his face and voice. But as the test continues, the fear in Bucky’s face slowly is replaced by disbelief and elation. Because he’s realizing the Winter Soldier Activation Words aren’t affecting him anymore. But it’s not until Ayo directly tells him that he’s finally free that he fully lets himself believe it, and he breaks down crying from the joyful relief. Anyone who tries to claim that Sebastian Stan isn’t a phenomenal actor has clearly never watched this scene.

Of course, this flashback ends up being immediately contrasted to the present day scene, where Ayo is confronting Bucky in Latvia over the issue of him helping break Zemo out of prison. We saw in the flashback that Ayo was the one who personally tested Bucky to ensure he was freed from the Winter Soldier programing, which suggests they had a personal bond. But now, that bond has been damaged because of the whole issue with Zemo. I fully understand why Ayo is angry about this. After all, she’s not only part of the Dora Milaje, but she’s the second in command of that band of elite warriors. As such, her first priority will always be to Wakanda and it’s throne. And we all remember that Zemo was directly responsible for the death of the late King T’Chaka, so it’s natural that he’d be considered their enemy. Plus, while it’s been a while since I saw Civil War, I think it was Ayo who was supposed to be protecting King T’Chaka at the time of the UN bombing. If it was, that would further explain why she’s so miffed, because she must feel like she’d failed in her duty to protect him because of Zemo’s actions. (And, in a way, Zemo’s actions in Civil War probably also led to the events of Black Panther. Because without King T’Chaka’s death, there might not have been that power struggle between T'Challa and Killmonger.) But now, Bucky assisted Zemo’s escape from prison. The same Bucky who the people of Wakanda had taken in, cared for and helped get his life, identity and autonomy back. Yeah, I can see why Ayo would take this personally. Bucky really should have checked in with them before doing what he did. Granted it was a spur of the moment decision and he probably didn’t have the time to contact them in order to give them a heads up about it, but the point still stands. Still, when Bucky explains he needs Zemo to finish his current mission in stopping the Flag Smashers, Ayo reluctantly agrees to give Bucky a mercy period of eight hours. At which point the Dora Milaje will return in order to take Zemo into their custody.

After Ayo leaves, Bucky rejoins Sam and Zemo, and they begin discussing the issue of Karli and the Flag Smashers. Sam says that he wants to try reasoning with Karli in order to come up with a peaceful solution. Because he understands where she’s coming from in regards to how she clearly feels the world is not listening to her people and properly addressing their needs. But he doesn’t agree with her methods of fighting. Zemo, however, doesn’t think it’s possible to reason with Karli because of her taking the Super Soldier Serum. His argument seems to be that everyone who has ever taken the Super Soldier Serum gets corrupted in some way. The only exception to that rule was Steve Rogers, but Zemo points out there has never been another Steve. (Interestingly, when he says this, the camera seems to focus on Sam. I wonder if that was an intentional decision or just a lucky accident.) And yes, they also don’t really acknowledge the fact that Bucky didn’t become a Super Soldier voluntarily. Unlike Steve and the Flag Smashers, he wasn’t given a choice in the matter. But I guess that’s beside the point.

To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what Zemo’s goal is right here. Because he does seem to be sticking around with Sam and Bucky, even though he had a few chances to give them the slip. But at the same time, this is still Zemo. And he seems to have a major grievance against Super Soldiers and all enhanced individuals. Which probably explains why he’s sticking around, considering the mission involves the Flag Smashers, who all injected themselves with the Super Soldier Serum. But is he eventually planning to try and take down Bucky, too?

In any event, the trio decide their best chance of getting Sam his opportunity of sitting down and talking with Karli is at the funeral of that woman who we saw die in the last episode. Because this woman was apparently well-loved by the community. (Side note, I shared Bucky’s confusion when Sam begin talking about his TT. I have never heard that particular slang word for aunt before. Is this a regional/cultural thing?) They do manage to determine the location of this funeral thanks to Zemo, who manages to gain the trust of this one little girl by offering her some Turkish Delight. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe vibes aside, that was a pretty good idea. I don’t even remotely like this guy, but I can admit he’s smart. But them, when they’re on the way to the funeral, John Walker pops up, being his usual likable self. He argues with Sam for a bit over Sam’s intention to try talking with Karli in the hopes of coming to a peaceful resolution, which contradicts with Walker’s plan of just apprehending her. Thankfully, Lemar Hoskins is able to convince Walker to at least try giving Sam a chance.

After the funeral, Sam approaches Karli and begins to talk with her, utilizing his skills as a councilor and therapist of war vets. And he’s actually starting to get through to her. But then, Walker botches it all up. Because he just couldn’t give Sam the ten minutes he requested and barges in to arrest her. Which results in Karli thinking that the whole thing was just a setup and throwing all of Sam’s progress with her out the window. Karli and the other Flag Smashers end up getting away, but in the process, Karli had a brief run-in with Zemo. And their confrontation resulted in Karli accidently dropping the vials of Super Serum she’d been carrying around in her fanny pack. Zemo, going along with his whole shtick of enhanced individuals must go, starts to destroy the vials. But while he’s doing so, Walker comes up and knocks him out with the Shield. And that’s when Walker sees that there’s only one vial of Super Serum remaining. Unbeknownst to Sam and Bucky, he secretly ends up pocketing the vial before they arrive on the scene.

Sometime later, they’re all back at that apartment(?) where Bucky, Sam and Zemo have been crashing in Latvia. Walker decides enough is enough, and he’s going to return Zemo to his cell in Germany. But that’s when Ayo and the other Dora Milaje appear. It seems that the eight hours that Ayo gave Bucky are up, and they’ve also come for Zemo. Of course, Walker, being the arrogant moron he is, is rather dismissive towards the Dora Milaje, trying to claim that they don’t have jurisdiction there. Which leads to Ayo stating her epic line, of how the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they are.

https://youtu.be/jG8u1UdD-T0

When Walker proceeds to neglect to show the proper respect towards Ayo and the rest of the Dora Milaje, despite Sam’s urging to not start anything with them, Ayo proceeds to put him in his place by giving him the beatdown he deserves. And I really like how Bucky seemed content to just sit back and watch it happen, embodying the viewing audience in the process. (His ‘looking strong, John’ was just so wonderfully snarky.) Eventually though, Sam gets Bucky to step in.

Of course, that leads me to the part where Ayo reveals she can detach Bucky’s vibranium arm with just two moves. Which seems to be a pretty polarizing moment in this episode. Okay, I acknowledge that this whole situation is extremely complicated. And as I stated earlier, I fully appreciate that Ayo is feeling particularly betrayed by Bucky’s actions in assisting Zemo’s escape from prison without discussing it with the Wakandans first. That being said? DUDE! I know it’s easy to forget sometimes, but the fact remains that Bucky is an amputee. A man with a physical disability. You don’t up and remove a disabled man’s prosthetic limb without his consent! What’s wrong with you? It’s the same as going up to a deaf person and ripping out their hearing aid, or taking away someone’s wheelchair!

Also, it’s possible I missed something about this scene, but the way it was set up doesn’t make a lot of sense. I didn’t see anything to suggest that Bucky and Sam were attempting to prevent the Dora Milaje from leaving with Zemo. If Walker hadn’t started trying to throw his weight around, they probably would have allowed it without an argument. Bucky only intervened in the ensuing fight in order to dissolve the situation. And when he stepped in, it almost looked as if Ayo was preparing to make a killing blow. Which is way extreme because, while Walker is an arrogant, smug prat and deserved to get knocked down a few pegs, at this point, he hadn’t really done anything to warrant getting impaled by a spear. Yeah, I get Ayo and the other Dora Milaje are undoubtedly super angry right now because of the whole Zemo thing and tempers are running high. But at the same time, that fact alone means they really shouldn’t be acting rashly. Oh, at it gets better. Because while everyone was distracted by all the fighting, Zemo slips into the bathroom and manages to escape by moving the bathtub aside and slithering away down the drain like the snake he is. (Exactly how big are the pipes in Latvia?) So because of all this fighting, Zemo is now roaming around free somewhere, and the Dora Milaje have to leave without him. I repeat, I fully get this is a complicated, complex situation, and I understand where they’re coming from. But perhaps if the Dora Milaje didn’t start fighting with Bucky and Sam when they stepped in to interfere with Walker’s well-deserved beatdown, maybe Zemo wouldn’t have gotten away. Just saying, they were doing a pretty good job of keeping Zemo on a leash up until now.

So anyway, in the aftermath of this fight, you see Walker starting to have a mental breakdown. Because he is completely flabbergasted that he was effortlessly taken down by the Dora Milaje. Because while they are unquestionably highly skilled and trained warriors, they are still completely ordinary people. Not a single one of them have been injected with the Super Serum. So how is he supposed to manage going up against the Flag Smashers, who are Super Soldiers? (It’s also possible that Walker’s despondency over this is partially fueled by him having sexist and xenophobic viewpoints, considering the Dora Milaje are all African women, but that’s open to interpretation.) While he and Hoskins are sitting at a diner somewhere, Walker, clearly thinking about the fact that he has the last vial of Super Serum, asks Hoskins if he would take the Super Serum if he had the chance. Hoskins states he would take it. Which is clearly meant to parallel an earlier scene, where Zemo asked Sam if he would take it if it was ever offered. Because Sam stated he wouldn’t without hesitation. Which once again further cements the fact that Steve made the right choice in choosing Sam as his successor. (It’s also evident by the fact that Sam is the one trying to find a peaceful resolution with the Flag Smashers, while Walker is simply trying to charge in and simply take them out.)

Things come to a head when Karli actually calls up Sam’s sister, Sarah, and directly threatens her and her kids in order to give Sam an incentive to meet with her again. So Sam, with Bucky accompanying him, suits up as Falcon in order to confront her. Karli attempts to try and convince Sam to join up with her, but Sam still insists that, while her goal is honorable, there’s a better way to fight without resorting to violence (such as blowing up buildings with innocent people inside). But once again, Walker mucks it all up. Because, Sam is then contacted by Sharon Carter. Who seems to be able to track Walker via satellite? Which seems to contradict something she said earlier about not having access to satellites, unless I misheard that line. Yeah, Sharon is kinda shady in this episode. If the fan theory that she’s actually the Power Broker turns out to be right, I won’t be that shocked. In any event, it seems that either Walker and Hoskins ended up going after the Flag Smashers again or Karli’s meeting with Sam was just a diversion to keep Sam and Bucky out of the way while the Flag Smashers tried to go after Walker in order to kill him. I’m not sure which it was. But regardless, Sam and Bucky immediately go off to try and find Walker before it’s too late, with Karli also running off to join the fight.

Here, it’s one big action sequence, with Bucky, Sam and Walker fighting against Karli and the Flag Smashers. Hoskins eventually joins in the fight as well (he was absent from the start of the fight because he was jumped by some of the Flag Smashers and was briefly tied up in a bathroom somewhere until he managed to free himself). But in the mist of the battle, Karli ends up either kicking or punching Hoskins into a stone pillar with full Super Soldier strength. And the impact apparently snaps Hoskin’s spine, killing him instantly.

Okay! I was seriously not expecting them to kill Hoskins off like that! And it’s a shame, too. Because while I barely knew Hoskins, he still seemed like an okay guy. At least he was the one who, however briefly, convinced Walker to at least try to give Sam a chance to talk to Karli. Which indicated he wasn’t as gung-ho and impulsive as Walker is. Unfortunately, it seems that Hoskin’s death was the breaking point for Walker, because he immediately snaps. And while Bucky and Sam go after Karli when she makes a break for it, Walker goes right for the other Flag Smashers. He quickly corners the Flag Smasher called Nico, who I think was Karli’s right-hand man, in the middle of a crowded square. And, in full view of everyone, mercilessly murders Nico with the Shield. And he is showing no reaction to the fact that the onlookers are all staring at him in shock and horror, or even that some people were filming him with their camera phones. He simply straps the Shield, which is now covered with blood, onto his arm. And that’s where the episode ends.

Well, crap! That’s a rather dark note to end the episode on. Clearly, Walker is unstable. And I have no idea what the final two episodes of this show will be like. The even more chilling aspect is that, while it’s not explicitly stated, it’s implied that Walker might have already taken the Super Serum! And this show of rage and aggression was the result of it. After all, as Dr. Erskine had said way back when, the Serum elevates everything. Good becomes great, but bad becomes worse. And Walker was clearly undergoing a phycological breakdown to begin with. So if he’s taken the Super Serum (like we were probably supposed to assume he did when he effortlessly bent a metal pole like a pretzel during the last battle scene with the Flag Smashers), then he must be REALLY unstable now! And now, the Shield, the very symbol of Captain America (which is tied to Steve Roger’s legacy), is now tainted by a bloodstain. Again, I have no idea where the show plans to go from here on in.

Speaking of the Shield? On a closing note, I do have to address the fact that Bucky once again scolded Sam for giving away the Shield in the first place. *Sigh* Okay. Bucky? I love you, man. You’re my favorite character in the MCU so far (apart from Goose, of course). But you really need to stop blaming Sam for this. Because Sam didn’t give the Shield away like you’re suggesting. That’s not what happened. Sam donated the Shield to the Smithsonian, with the understanding that it would be kept there, as a monument to everything Steve Rogers did and stood for. It was the US Government who went behind Sam’s back and took back the Shield in order to hand it over to Walker. Sam didn’t know they were going to do that until after the fact. Yes, Bucky has every right to be mad about what happened. His feelings are justified and valid. (Particularly if they end up revealing what I think they’re going to reveal.) But he’s taking it out on the wrong person. And he really does owe Sam an apology.

#falcon and winter soldier #falcon and winter solider series

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anotherkindofmindpod · 5 years ago

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I’d love for you guys to have Mark Lewisohn on your show just to grill him. As someone who’s experienced workplace bullying and sexual assault, that he would go so far as to paint Klein as “heroic” when he said things like “reluctant virgin” is just so devastating to me. It makes me feel ill. I do NOT want this man to have a say in Beatles history. I love the Beatles. I don’t want that tainted by people who will paint over abuse just to feed their own self importance.

We vehemently agree, Listener! Thank you for writing in.

Our list of grievances with Mark Lewisohn is long, but in a nutshell we believe his intent is to publicly “redeem” John Lennon and we have seen copious evidence that he will go to whatever lengths he has to in order to do this.

That includes, but is not limited to:

Claiming that readers of his Tune In Series may consider Klein the “hero” of the Beatles break-up

Deliberately spreading the demonstrably false lie that John (and Yoko) did not have a significant heroin problem in the late 60s and early 70s (Lewisohn suggests Cold Turkey is just John playing make believe)

Displaying unapologetic favoritism by using glowing terms to portray John and Yoko as the world’s most perfect romance, as opposed to Paul and Linda, whose 29-year marriage he dismisses as “conventional” and motivated by appearances (namely Linda’s pregnancy, even though it was planned) and Green Card needs

Stating that he could tell from watching the infamous “it’s a drag” clip that Paul was kind of sad, but primarily annoyed at how much positive attention John was getting on the day of his murder

Apparently suggesting to an audience of his Power Point Show that Paul maybe stole a leg off Yoko’s bed (the bed she had delivered and built in the Beatles’ recording studio, mind you), a personal “theory” which is based on the fact that Paul later wrote a song called “Three Legs” (you know that song: “My dog, he got three legs, like the bed you inappropriately brought into Abbey Road 2 years ago which I secretly vandalized behind your back because I have nothing better to do, am certainly not busy writing the Beatles Swan Song and don’t have a fucking 7 year old at home or anything”)

This isn’t even to mention Tune In, which could be a whole separate post and episode. Suffice it to say, this book often reads less like a Beatles biography and more like John Lennon Fanfiction to us.

Lewisohn managed to distinguish himself by doing (some) research and unearthing some original documents. That he had some skill in research is not surprising given that he started his career in Beatledom as a researcher for Norman, on his book Shout — which Lewisohn still contends is a good book. Norman, on the other hand has evolved his opinion of his own work and thinks Shout was flawed, so has written a whole biography on Paul to make up for what he sees as the failure of Shout, which is his underestimation of Paul. Unfortunately, Lewisohn does not seem to have made this same journey. He pays lip service to John and Paul being equal, and then spends all of his time and energy trying to prove otherwise. Norman says that he has created a monster in Lewisohn. We take his point.

One of our biggest issues with Lewisohn is that he vigorously promotes himself as an unbiased truth teller, and his calm manner seems to telegraph this. But it is not true. The research that Lewisohn does and the spin that he applies to his findings are all heavily biased. As we mentioned in one of our episodes, he travelled to Gibraltar simply to experience where John and Yoko got married. Yet when Paul calls the May 9th meeting over management the metaphorical cracking of the Liberty Bell, Lewisohn doesn’t even bother to Google it so he can understand the metaphor.

What he chooses to research is also a form of bias. For example, we at AKOM are very interested in Paul’s relationship with Robert Fraser during the Beatle years — since Paul has commented that Fraser was one of the most important, influential people in his life. Paul McCartney was the concept artist behind Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Magical Mystery Tour film, the iconic Apple logo, and he co-designed the covers of the White Album and Abbey Road. All of these are pretty defining moments in the Beatles’ career. As Beatles fans, we’d like to know more about Paul’s art education and influences. But we would be shocked if Lewisohn dug into Fraser at all beyond his relationship as John and Yoko’s gallerist/curator (and heroin dealer, but since that isn’t a thing in Lewisohn’s world then maybe he will be ignored).

We think Lewisohn benefits massively from the fact that Beatles authorship was like the Wild West since its inception, when everyone with a connection to the Beatles (plus or minus a personal axe to grind) wrote a book about their experience. It was absolute chaos, with no rules, no checks and balances, uncredited sources, etc. Just an absolute shit show. What Lewisohn did was bring some order to the chaos with some proper documentation. But again, what he chooses to dig into often reflects bias. And this certainly does not mean that he is intellectually or emotionally equipped to interpret his findings. Doing this takes social intelligence and insight, which is a very different skill. As a creator of myths, he is no better (and no more insightful or original) than many of the others who came before him; he worships John Lennon and freely admits it. He is not even close to being unbiased. But in this dumpster fire of a fandom he has at least checked some boxes and done some digging. The fact is, the bar has been so low for so long that Beatles fans don’t even know how to expect or want better. But WE certainly expect better. We expect some breakthrough, fresh thinking. Not just Shout with Receipts.

We think it’s significant that Lewisohn was deeply disliked by George Harrison, who lobbied to get him kicked him off the Anthology project. He was fired from Paul’s fan club magazine, and yet no one seems to think he might hold a grudge about that, too? Lewisohn so distorted John and Paul’s relationship in Tune In that he believes he is the target of the lyrics in Paul’s song “Early Days.“ And he either thinks that’s flattering or funny, because Lewisohn seems to truly believe he knows John Lennon better than Paul McCartney does. We find it almost tragic that Paul is so bothered by the way his experience and relationship is being portrayed by authors (perhaps Lewisohn) that he wrote a song about it. In it, he conveys his frustration and heartache about how everything is misconstrued and we find it absolutely outrageous that Lewisohn would not take this to heart. Perhaps Lewisohn thinks Paul should listen to him for a change? And if he doesn’t like it, then tough, because Lewisohn knows better? We think Lewisohn should do some serious soul-searching about “Early Days” because if one of his main subjects is saying, “you are getting it wrong and it is breaking my heart”….maybe, just maybe, he should listen and rethink things. Maybe apply a little creativity, out-of-the-box thinking and empathy. This is what his heroes did.

Meanwhile, Jean Jackets are SO BUSY complaining that Paul McCartney doesn’t like Lewisohn because he “tells the truth!” that they fail to notice that Lewisohn has become a mouthpiece for Yoko Ono. He has already started white-washing John Lennon’s history, promoting John and Yoko as the true and only geniuses versus Paul as the craven, small-minded Lennon disciple who (through no virtue of his own) was born with the ability to write some nice tunes. Lewisohn’s version of John, on the other hand, is ALWAYS a sexy, visionary genius on the right side of every issue. He even went out of his way to recently trash Paul’s early 70’s albums, which -in addition to being obnoxious and we believe wrong (since we love them)- is totally outside his purview.

Lastly, to address your original point, Lewisohn’s claim that Klein may be viewed as the “hero” of his Beatles History reveals that he hasn’t shown sufficient empathy or interest in Paul’s experience. This claim at best ignores and at worst condones the fact that Klein was an abusive monster to one of the two founding members of the Beatles. As we discussed in Episode 4, Klein was a criminal who bullied Paul in his creative workspace, disrespected Paul in his own office in front of his own employees and actively pitted Lennon against McCartney for years. It’s hard to imagine ANYONE who inflicted more damage on the Beatles and Lennon/McCartney than Allen Klein. In addition to the wildly inappropriate “reluctant virgin” nickname, he verbally threatened to “own Paul’s ass” (to which Paul responded “he never got anywhere near my ass”). Klein was so disrespectful to Paul and Linda’s marriage he pitched the idea of procuring “a blonde with big tits” to parade in front of Paul to lure him away from Linda and destroy their relationship. Let’s also never forget that Klein contributed lyrics to the song “How Do You Sleep.” Allen Klein literally gave Paul nightmares. Anyone who so much as pretends to care about Paul’s break-up era depression (including his alcohol abuse, his inability to get out of bed and his terrifying sleep paralysis) would not champion Allen Klein.

Yes, Klein is a human being and therefore has his own POV, same as anyone else. But a Beatles biographer is beholden to four points of view only: John, Paul, George and Ringo. And when an outsider is openly hostile to one of the Beatles and damaging long-term to all of the Beatles, it is beyond inappropriate to portray him as a hero. This type of comment, made publicly to an audience of Beatles fans, invalidates and seeks to erase the real trauma inflicted on Paul McCartney by Allen Klein, and we think Lewisohn should apologize for his comments.

Instead, Lewisohn’s current buddy is Peter Brown, whose book, The Love You Make so offended and angered Paul and Linda that they literally burned their copy (and photographed it burning for good measure). This information doesn’t appear to bother Lewisohn in the least. Why not?

George referred to Norman’s Shout as “Shit.” But Lewisohn thinks it’s a great book. Why?

How any Beatles or Paul or even George fans tolerate Lewisohn is baffling to us; we don’t recognize a real human being in his version of Paul, and his version of John is a superhero rather than a man. We suspect that fans have come to accept the traditional story and at least appreciate some properly-documented facts.

But as we are constantly trying to demonstrate on our show, just because the story has always been told one way, doesn’t mean it’s right. Because in the end, Mark Lewisohn has no special insight. He wasn’t there. He is a guy who bought into a narrative during the Shout era, and is cherry picking his findings to support it.You can find a discussion of Lewisohn here

#MarkLewisohn #anotherkindofmind podcast #Beatles #Lewisohn is a joke

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