#the amount of oasis references.

[whosthere54]

And I scream about the lovebirds lore. I yell.

[eky11]

He's electric ⚡

[picspammer]

Definitely Maybe's album cover by Michael Spencer Jones Derry Girls publicity image by Adam Lawrence

[animalstamp]

Mudwings Reference

Mudwings Reference

Horns:

Horns are often very thick and heavy even to the point that a Mudwing might like to cut them off if they become too cumbersome.

Carving is a more stylish way to get rid of extra weight but can be painful if done incorrectly.

Dyes are quite a popular way to decorate horns and body. Preferred by younger dragons.

Doubled horns show up more often in the Bigwings of the siblings.

Patterns:

Two patterns can show up at the same time. Like Slip with Spots or Pinecone with Tabby.

Mudwings don’t tend to have many feelings over each other’s patterns or scale shapes. There is no socially preferred appearance or style.

Scale Texture:

Scale texture is often influenced by the environment. The amount of humidity before hatching affects scale shape and texture. Parental stress can also cause these changes in their offspring.

Smooth: Lots of water (Lakes and deep rivers)

Log: Lots of water and heat (Swamps and Bogs)

Toad/Pebble: Monsoons/ Seasonal rain (Shallow or Mud puddles)

Pinecone: Dry/Oasis (Underground water or limited water)

Extra:

Attractiveness in Mudwings is more about physicality rather than aesthetics. A thick tail, fatty neck, and strong limbs are what to look for.

Jaws can open the widest out of all the tribes. Strongest bite forces with crushing morals in the back.

True omnivore diet.  

Resistant to all breathes and venoms that originate from dragons. *

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Living Waters...

Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

The Cursed Trio | Desert Oasis

...

Before setting off for the day, you made sure to grab an extra hairband, anticipating that Geto might need one if his broke. As it turned out, he had the same foresight, which wasn't all that surprising considering the amount of times you'd lose them.

Another curious fact, for some reason, everyone came to you whenever their uniforms got a tear or two simply because you had once mentioned liking to sow things back together

You swear Gojo would do it on purpose considering he always had his stupid fucking infinity on. Geto, on the other hand, likely made sure to be just a tad bit more reckless with his uniform before turning it into you.

He actually liked to watch you work, eyes entranced by the way your hands move and manipulated the fabric --- all while you hummed some tuneless melody under your breath

Moving on

Did you know that Gojo accidentally revealed to Yaga that you had a fondness for unique plushies? Since that day, Yaga began surprising you with a new plushie every day. Sometimes he'd toss them straight at your face, while other times, he'd leave them outside your door.

As the days passed, your room became a plushie wonderland, and you realized you needed to have a serious conversation with Yaga about this overflowing collection.

Despite your talk, the "plushie issue" remained unresolved. However, every Friday after class, Yaga started setting up the classroom to teach you how to knit as a way to compromise.

With this newfound skill, you took matters into your own hands and began creating mini-plushies of everyone around you.

For Kento, you designed a stylish cream business suit that perfectly complemented his rather bland calm personality. You also created a matching outfit for his best mate, Habaira, but in a sleek black color. Habaira was overjoyed with the gesture, though he playfully joked that he looked like his mini-plushie was ready to attend a funeral. Kento couldn't help but chuckle at the comment, a rare small smile gracing his lips as he softly muttered a heartfelt 'Thank you.'

For Ieiri, you crafted a unique plushie, dressing her in a doctor's coat and adding her trademark little cigarette, capturing her essence beautifully. She was absolutely thrilled when she saw it, expressing her excitement with a lazy smile as she kissed you on the cheek.

Yaga received a miniature replica of his current look, which he proudly displayed by placing it next to his computer monitor in his office. Sometimes, you'd catch him smiling at it.

Gojo's plushie was a fun challenge, with a spiky-haired version of him sporting a blindfold instead of sunglasses. Gojo playfully teased you about making a second version because you just couldn't get enough of him. You threatened to take it away, and he protested, holding the plushie just out of your reach. Lanky bastard.

(You never did see that plushie ever again tho, wonder what happened to it)

As for Geto, you searched the internet for some fashionable outfit inspiration and dressed up his plushie accordingly. He later humorously referred to it as his mini shaman (the fashionable outfit was a shaman's attire. Sorry not sorry) , but he assured you that he genuinely loved it. In fact, he liked it so much that he transformed it into a keychain for his bag, carrying it with him wherever he went.

I should mention that by now, your fluency in Japanese had improved dramatically. However, out of a sheer habit, both boys had the tendency to order for you. Then again, they also ordered for one another. Everyone in this fucking three-way has memorized each other's orders like the back of their hand.

You know their coffee orders by heart; Geto knows both of your favorite meals by heart, and Gojo knows both your and Suguru's favorite sweets by soul. (Sorry not sorry)

You all take turns treating one another, but often it's Gojo who insists on paying for you and Geto, given his big-boy bank account. (You will never reveal to them how somehow Mei Mei has become your sugar mama and pays you for simply existing, on the daily)

Geto can't ever drink your or Gojo's coffees because they're just too sweet. It's so sweet it could put a diabetic into a coma. So the two of you happily share taste-sips with each other.

On the other hand, Gojo couldn't handle the intensity of your and Geto's meals due to their overwhelming spiciness. Just the aroma wafting around would bring tears to his clear sky-blue eyes. As for you, vegetables weren't your preference, so Geto would kindly slide his plate close to yours, allowing you to discreetly transfer the unwanted veggies onto his plate without creating a mess on the table.

Gojo would then tease you for your preference, mocking you as he likened you to a small child. So properly, the only adult response was to engage in a game of footsies with him under the table until, accidentally, Gojo hit you a bit too hard, causing you to flinch and squeak. Geto noticed your reaction instantly, and he gave Gojo a piercing glare, silently warning him to be more careful. Gojo, feeling a bit awkward, focused on stuffing his face to avoid eye contact with Geto.

Ah, nothing like a protective mama Geto

Whenever you're trying to avoid Gojo and his endless taunts, you have a clever strategy: hiding in his dorm room, a place he never imagines you'd willingly go. As he spends the entire day searching the school high and low for you, you're actually inside his room, peacefully resting or just relaxing. Oftentimes, you snoop. Hehe

You possess like some Gojo-detector, giving you the ability to sense when Gojo is about to return to his dorm room. The moment you feel he is messing you, you swiftly sneak out unnoticed. He never manages to catch you, and the mystery of why his bed sometimes smells like you remains unsolved for him. That is until one night, he stumbles upon your favorite bracelet tucked under his pillow, the clasp broken.

You can't escape him anymore

Geto finds solace in your room, partly captivated by its enchanting fragrance. The persistent presence of an oil diffuser emanates an aroma that seems to be woven from the fabric of dreams. Its sweet and gentle, a lingering scent that holds a subtle allure, almost addictive in its embrace.

Lost in the allure of the ambiance (doesn't help that you like to keep your room dark and cold with blue lighting) Geto spends literal hours nestled amongst the plushies, lulled to sleep by the whole scenario. Whenever he departs from your room, the decent clings into his clothing. Leaving a trail of flowers behind that informing others of his presence in your room.

Speaking of him

Sometimes, you wake up in the dead of night, feeling something off. It's as if you possess a strange, innate ability to sense when someone is going through a rough time. Perhaps it's connected to your Cursed technique, or maybe your soul simply has a way of recognizing their distress. Regardless of the reason, you find yourself instinctively reaching for one of your pillows and following the invisible trail of energy.

Tonight, your focus settled on Geto's room. He had entrusted you with a key long ago, allowing you to enter his private space when desired.

You approached the door with a gentle, single knock (you have this specific way of locking that involves lightly tapping on the door with your nails. Much like a cat would) before letting yourself in. And there he was, sat up on his bed, his blankets tangled around his lap as beads of sweat trickled down his face. A haunted look in his eyes.

Geto prided himself on being able to maintain a stoic poker face, but even he had to admit. Out of your little trio, you were the one most attuned to their emotions. You could read the warning signs long before they fully manifested.

You slipped into his bed, performing your nightly ritual of unraveling his locks from the right bun he wore to sleep. Quietly, you would always mention how it wouldn't do any good for his hair and how it might give him more morning tangles (knowing well that you yourself slept with your hair loosely tied). Yet, with tender care, you gently massaged the palms of his hands, hoping to bring him back to the present, back to you.

And he came back to you, blinking his lovely onyx eyes as they lightly widened at the sight of you in your nightgown, sitting right next to him, his hand in your grasp as you cooed him back to safety.

No words were truly exchanged; that was for the morning routine. So, for then, the two of you simply settled back into his bed. His hand never left your own as you slowly placed it onto your chest, just where your heart would be.

Your heart beat, calm and strong, lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

...

(A/N): As I was writing this, you fuckers kept blowing up my phone with the amount of likes you were giving my shit. Like damn, I see now we have some early risers here. Goddamn.

I have such a headache rn it's not even funny.

The idea of being a Gojo-detector is rather humorous, isn't it?

Wonder what Geto dreamt about that had him so distressed. Is it the start of something or just your everyday PTSD?

Drop a comment

Feel free to buy me a 🦩

Hope you enjoyed!

Edited: 7/24/2023

[diodellet]

try wishing for it: magical girl au ~author's note~

warning for: Puella Magi Madoka Magica spoilers and more yandere headcanoning

Read the fanfic first before you spoil yourself on my rambling 😇

I did not expect to be able to transition from draft to posting that quickly for a fic of this length (or maybe it just felt faster because the stars aligned for my motivation and brainworms to work together? who knows)

Will I ever continue this AU? Maybe if I get clubbed in the head by more Scarabia brainworms, I might write oneshots/short scenes, but I don’t see myself writing for any of the other twst charas.

Anyways onto the ramblings galore:

Inspirations:

The verse that the fic’s title is ripped from goes: “Saying, ‘it’s like magic!’ / immersed in this sensation, even if I try wishing for it, / I know it’s nothing but playing with dolls //” (tl credits to Releska).

Tbh, analyzing poetry/song lyrics isn’t my biggest strength, but I know that Mahou Shoujo, as a genre, tends to touch on themes of adolescence like innocence vs. jadedness in the face of the real world and its many issues, just stepping into and growing out of adolescence as one of those uncomfortable transitions in life.

Stepping into young adulthood is scary, and most people my age don’t even know what the hell they’re doing. So for Reader, I gave them that highschooler-trying-to-be-capable-and-mature persona, with a tinge of anxieties that a young person would have.

*I’ll elaborate more on the Puella Magi inspirations in a later section, but yes, that was also a major inspiration for this fic

Vagueness:

Compared to my usual long-winded writing style, this fic ended up a bit more short and ambiugous in its prose. Partially because I didn’t want to procrastinate on writing this by rewatching my favorite Mahou Shoujo franchises.

(but also mainly because partial aphantasia lets gooo, detailed visuals are not my strong suit, I’m leaving Reader’s outfit and weapon blank for people to insert anything they’d like)

I mainly wanted to emphasize the character moments between Reader and Kyubey!Scarabia, which ended up becoming more conflicting and interesting than I initially drafted.

(It helps that Jamil is a shady guy, he set up the foreshadowing on his own. Kalim on the other hand, my god, maybe it's just me but I had a harder time characterizing. Why is he so loud and friendly, it makes his manipulation so much more covert grr)

Gold (and Red, I guess):

I lied, there was one visual aspect I wanted to highlight throughout the story, which were Scarabia’s trademark colors of gold and red. Anything gold mentioned in the fic is traced back to them. So every moment of Kalim and Jamil using magic, Reader’s magic, the bangle that Jamil gifts them, the wraith in the beginning having a (formerly) gold collar. (I would've added a description of something gold on each wraith, but I didn't want to be too heavy-handed with the repetition.)

(yes i had thoughts of jamil just giving them a golden collar…but ooo…held off on that instead, it could be a standalone what-if scenario…a corruption arc premise…ooo…someone remind me about this, i might forget)

I also mention jamil++the color red in this fic because I had to put Snake Whisper in, I can’t not 🙈

(that bit of kalim’s healing magic was me trying to make a reference to Oasis Maker, it feels a bit scuffed to me, but i don't think he’d ever get the urge to drown the world. truly sunshine boy's such a covert yandere it almost made me tear my hair out)

Kyubey!Scarabia, Some Difficulties and Omissions:

In Puella Magi, the little satanspawn named Kyubey is actually short for “Incubator,” who hails from an alien civilization tasked with preventing the heat death of the universe. Turns out the emotions of teenage girls is a very potent energy source. So he turns girls into magical girls to fight Witches and when those magical girls succumb to despair, they become the very thing that they fight against, producing vast amounts of energy for them to use.

(Though I changed it from ‘Witches’ to ‘Wraiths’ for this fanfic. I also did away with the Witches’ Labyrinth to lessen the amount of exposition. I jus think Witches work better in a visual medium.)

Another standout characteristic of Kyubey is his eerie sense of apathy to the characters’ suffering, which was Difficult to incorporate into Kalim since that guy’s got buckets of empathy. Until I realized that i could spin this into a kind of “warped” love.

Kalim loved each and every magical girl that he’s worked with, and of course he gets sad that they eventually become a wraith. But as an Incubator, his grieving is more akin to a rich person feeling sad over the death of a pet. He’s very quick to turn his attention to the next shiny thing (that’s you/Reader! Ain’t that great!🥴)

Also @jessamine-rose gave me this hc of Kalim amassing little trinkets from every magical fighter, like a ribbon accessory or a piece of their wand, collecting these little charms. Just, the idea of him saying that he’ll cherish Reader’s own treasure, and the way that could go from reassuring to chilling. (now i’m spreading that hc to yall instead of pingponging it in my brain😇)

On the idea of Jamil and love, I think he just loves holding power over magical girls #MegalomaniacThingz (ignore that growing fondness in the fever scene, he was just playing the part of helpful familiar or sumn /shrug)

There's definitely room for some kind of intense fascination to reader, knowing that they surprised him with their resilience. Yeah sorta like Tokyo Mew Mew's Ichigo and Quiche...

(i was crying so hard at having to axe forehead kissies for the second time, but it was a necessary omission😔)

Misc. Extras:

As a palate cleanser, just imagine plush ball!jamil carrying a plastic bag twice his size… (i was struggling with the dialogue during that fever scene, this was how i kept myself from spiraling too far)

In line with the genie of the lamp story, Kyubey!Scarabia gets the three wishes for their magical girls, with the third wish eventually corrupting the magical girl into a wraith.

I guess the other dorms would have something unique for the magical girls that they create? (not having wi-fi for the past few days gave me some half-baked ideas)

Like Heartslabyul imposing a rigid set of rules on their magical girls, which are of course rigged against the inherently flawed nature of humans and their emotions.

Savanaclaw and Pomefiore are similar, you fight until you can’t. Or in Pome’s case, you fight until you become an unrecognizable monster.

I imagine that Octavinelle and Ignihyde are the most similar to the original Kyubey of Puella Magi. You make a wish, fight the wraiths, reap the consequences of a wish, and eventually succumb to the vicious system they have laid out. Only Octavinelle’s version is Sayaka Miki-core, while Ignihyde’s plays out like a video game-ified version of Hercules’ trials. (Also, Ignihyde deffo keeps a compendium of each magical girl and wraith).

For Diasomnia, it could kinda follow Sleeping Beauty's plot, where there's a curse that the magical girl has to work against, while being aided with blessings from the fairies/Malleus' retinue (tho in this case, i guess Malleus ends up being revealed as the one creating the wraiths?)

tl;dr: This fic was so fun to write, I can almost forgive the usual agonies that plague me. I'm a writer who heavily prefers soft worldbuilding. Scarabia makes me so ill.

tagging: @viperwhispered @twstgo

[neko-naruto]

nowhere to hide out in the open

summary: the one good thing about these 'Genre Peace' meetings, it would be that Delta Dawn has an excuse to be next to Queen Essence

warnings: its just fluff

authors note: EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @ohposhers FOR DRAGGING ME OUT OF RETIREMENT BY MAKING DELTESSENCE REAL INSTEAD OF LETTING IT ROT IN OUR DM'S FROM MARCH, LITERALLY DRAGGED THIS FIC OUT FROM THE BACK AND FINISHED IT UP IN 2 HOURS NOT EVEN. anyways hope ya'll enjoy and if ya do consider dropping a reblog or checkin' the Ao3 port

To be frank, Delta Dawn didn't necessarily enjoy the fact that the genre leaders had to meet up in Funk's spaceship of sorts; they called it Vibe City. The deck may have been solid beneath her hooves and the air perfectly metered in temperature, but it still felt wrong. Just something made her feel off about living up here, especially when they used to inhabit the deserts and oasis's below.

The only plus was the fact that she was allowed a seat next to Queen Essence, Funk's co-ruler. Pale blue fur and glistening silver tinsel littered across her form and like necklaces on her neck. A spattering of glitter on her face and golden adornments in her hair, voice a gentle timbre and comfy pace-

Delta Dawn definitely enjoyed her, and the fact that she was married with children.

"Now, Queen Poppy, are you sure we really need to unite geographically as well?" Trollzart asked, and the annoying sound of his voice snapped Delta out of it. He sounded like a 'woodwind,' as the Classical's called those instruments.

"Yeah, Popseed, I quite like Volcano Rock City. The Rocker's need some heat to keep us going," Barb tacked on, voice sharp as always with a blunt edge that Delta respected. Even if the gal tried to destroy all music, she had good work ethic.

Poppy gave a nervous laugh, "Well we could at least try making a place where the cross-genre's and genrefluid Trolls could exist in peace?"

"A utopia," King Quincy supplies.

"A Trollstopia, if you will," Queen Essence adds on.

"The only problem with that is the Techno's, they can't be out of water for prolonged periods of time," Branch said. He was already splaying out blueprints, "I'll work on a fix."

"I can help manufacture it," Trollex said and his voice also had an annoying sting too it out of water, oddly synthetic but natural to their speciation.

"Dawn," Queen Essence said, and it took Delta a moment to realize she was referring to her.

The sheriff of Country nodded, "Yes, miss Essence?" Country sensibilities sneaking into her speech again, she really hopes that isn't an offence in Funk.

Instead it makes Queen Essence smile, "Do you have any objections to this Trollstopia?" There's a softness to her tone, a calm that Delta doesn't know too well. Everyone's much gruffer in Country, more to the point and strict about it. Working together is loving each other and tussling in a rodeo is a love language.

Funk Trolls are so... Different, in a refreshing way of course. It's confusing too, Delta never took herself for a romantic, but the Queen is doing something to her. And it's just how she exists too, even when they aren't interacting she's just like this. Smooth and calm and with an amount of allure that Delta is sure must be practiced in advance.

"I got no objections to it, I think it's a great idea," Delta said before standing up and pushing aside the cushion she sat upon. At the slightest hint of Poppy going to speak up, she waved it off, "I'm fine, Queen Poppy, I just need to stretch my legs, get some water."

Her hooves clicked uncomfortably against the metal-adjacent platforms below her. She rubbed her temples as she walked, taking long, deep breaths to try and compose herself. How on earth do they expect her to keep it together when they put her beside Queen Essence? She shouldn't be getting this worked up over a married Troll.

"Dawn, you're probably gonna need some help finding the vending machines," Came a gentle voice from behind her and all she could do was freeze up.

"Naw, I'll be fine, Queen Essence," Delta said, turning to give her an affirming smile. It looked kind of forced.

"Please, just call me Essence," She said before leading Delta along and the sheriff followed without questioning her own actions despite her previous defiance.

Delta gives a huffing sort of sound, it earns her a perplexed look before she remembers that the Funk Trolls don't have that in their lexicon, "Then I have ta ask that you call me Delta."

Essence gives a long hum as she pads down the halls, her paws are near silent against the flooring. A stark contrast to the clip-clop of Delta's hooves, "I'll see what I can do for you."

The slight teasing lilt coupled with a small chuckle has Delta going mad. She trots up closer to the queen of Funk and follows her obediently down the halls. The swirled design of Funk architecture matches the consistent beat thrumming below them in the main corridors. It pulses with a faint glow, so subtle it's almost unnoticable unless you really look close- and Delta needs something to stare at that isn't her guide.

When they come to a stop Essence grabs her a bottle of water, gifted in return for a small melody in a genre Delta doesn't know well. It's interesting technology really, maybe Country is outdated after all. Then she remembers that Pop still lives in the woods and hasn't rebuilt after they had their empire swept out from under their feet by the Bergens. Her genre isn't too far behind, and Funk is highly advanced anyways.

"So, Delta, what's got you down?" Essence asked, dropping down to sit with folded legs on a cushion. Delta followed suit, a low table between them, and she didn't quite sit the same way Funk Trolls did but she made it happen.

"Nothin's got me down," Delta said, twisting the cap off the bottle, "Don't know what gave you that idea."

Essence's brows furrowed, but she didn't narrow her gaze much. She just sighed, "I can't be offended that you don't want to tell me, but I can be offended that you think I can't see what's right in front of me."

That shakes Delta down to her core, she didn't expect Essence to have such keen observations as well. She nearly chokes on her water which has a tang too it, a hint of citrus flavouring perhaps? She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, "I suppose I shouldn't treat ya like an idiot cause you're different than me."

"Some signs are universal," Essence said, "And your vibes aren't exactly feeling on point."

Delta gives a low laugh, "You have a point there, Queen Essence. You're mighty smart, mighty tenacious for waiting so long for your son to show up."

Essence smiles a smile that's so warm it contradicts the soothing frosted hue of her form. She tilts her head a bit as she smiles, a small laugh arising and she brings a paw to hide it. "I'm flattered, Dawn."

"Essence, you seem like the loving type," Delta begins, "Happily married and whatnot."

"So it's a romance problem you have."

She nods, "Yeah, that. What would you say is the best action for loving someone whose already set for life?"

That gives Essence pause, and she's more than clever enough to piece it together right then and there, but she still takes a moment. "In Funk we're usually pretty open, most relations are fluid and shifting states frequently."

"They are?" Delta asked a bit too fast.

"Of course they are, Delta. Are they not in other genres?" Essence asked, a genuine curiosity lacing her voice.

Delta shakes her head, "We're rather monogamous in Country."

"Tell me, Delta," Essence begins, a type of smile on her face that makes Delta shiver. Essence leans a little bit closer, "Is it me?"

"What gave it away, your majesty?" Delta asked.

"Country Trolls are very up front, it translates to the way you act," Essence explained before pressing a kiss to Delta's cheek. It left a silvery, snowy mark in its wake and Delta was too stunned to move. It made Essence giggle a bit.

"But, but you're royalty!" Delta managed to get out, "Doesn't royalty have ta keep a closed relationship?"

Essence shrugged and the tinsel shifted and coat the technicolor glow of Vibe City. "Quincy is understanding, I doubt he'd mind if we let you in for a bit."

"Well alright then." She's not in a cohesive enough mindset to get anything else out of her mouth. She's wearing this dumb grin on her face that's quick to fall.

Essence brings a paw to Delta's face, "What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothin' that needs to be worried about now," Delta brings her hand to rest on Essence's wrist, or ankle maybe? Delta isn't too sure of the proper terminology to use.

"You got your legs stretched out enough to head back, Dawn? They can't make much progress without Country," Essence asked.

"I'm ready," Delta said before standing up, she traced a digit across the lipstick mark on her cheek, "Say, won't this be incriminating evidence?"

"Quincy won't mind," Essence assured with a hum.

"The others?"

"They're in our home, we can evict them."

[jacksgreysays]

Tobirama matter of factly planning a temple of the Shikabane-hime in the middle of Konoha is SENDING me oh my god?? Is Shikako still born to Shikako and Yoshino in this universe? How does everyone react to maybe having a mortal incarnation of their patron deity growing up before their eyes? Wait does Shikabane-hime create the Garden during the Founding era. Is she also worshipped in Sand?? And not to hijack other anon’s prompt but the full saying is “by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes” so.. Jashin? Does Konoha have beef with Yugakure in this world? I LOVE THIS AU AAHH

First of all, Tobirama is a very clever lad: if a goddess is going to support their village built on the shakiest network of treaties and alliances, then he's going to take that support and use it as a foundation because otherwise all they have to go on is his older brother's charisma and that's NOT going to cut it long term. Also, he really is quite jealous that all Izuna had to do was look at Shikabane-hime to get a cool technique while he has to actually go through the scientific method WHILE ALSO DESIGNING THE VILLAGE.

I think Shikako looks enough like Yoshino that in this universe, they think it's the other way around--that Yoshino is, if not a mortal incarnation of their patron deity (because MAYBE Shikako is immortal in this universe due to the massive amounts of earnest worship actually working to make her a goddess even if she wasn't actually one in the beginning) then some kind of... goddess blessed? Like... this Konoha is so off the rails that there may be a separate order of priest/priestess-nin and Yoshino would be recruited for that.

And, like, I do like the Shikaku and Yoshino's love story, and it would be very sad if they didn't get together, so it's not that the priests/priestesses of the Shikabane-hime CAN'T fall in love and have families (and also, because Shikako is just like. Hey. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, the genders of said parties does not matter. Hooray marriage equality decades earlier)

Anyway, then if they do still have child Shikako, it could be a very... !!!! ... A Chosen One!!!! And then, THIS Shikako would be the "she who has divine right" version of Hokage!Shikako from my Hail To The Queen series... but that's maybe getting too self-referential?

I do think Shikabane-hime and Gelel create the Garden during the Founding era--because her arriving in each universe post-Split makes the Garden, if it hasn't already been made--so I would think that, yes, a version of her is also worshiped in Sand. But if she didn't stick around to make contact with the shinobi who would become the founders of Sand, they may know her by a different name? Like, in Land of Wind she is Gelel but in Land of Fire she is Shikabane-hime and it becomes a matter of, like, denominational differences.

Alternatively, rather than the Kazekage clan being called "Sabaku no" (of the Desert) perhaps they are called "Yokuchi no" (of the Oasis)? But I suppose that depends how early on in the timeline she is for Sand.

And finally… IS THAT WHERE THAT PHRASE COMES FROM? Oh my god, I'm so bad at identifying when prompts are references to things. It just goes right over my head T_T

I don't think Yugakure even exists long enough for Konoha to have beef with them. If one of Shikabane-hime/Gelel's early "miracles" DOESN'T include a divine smack down of Jashin, possibly erasing Yugakure--or possibly the whole of Land of Hot Water--from the map via volcano (I mean, hot springs are usually because of geothermals, and if she can make an earthquake she can probably make a volcanic eruption) then I don't know what counts as a miracle.

[tanadrin]

More notes from Stephen Shoemaker's Creating the Quran: A Historical-Critical Study:

Virtually complete silence from any source on Mecca and Yathrib (Medina) in the early 7th century; these settlements were probably not significant to the wider world at the time.

The prominence of the idea of Mecca as an important center of the spice trade in historical Islamic studies is due mostly to Henri Lammens and Mongtomery Watt, early historians of Islam, which are basically just summaries of (much later) Islamic hagiography.

In Meccan Trade and the Rise of Islam, Patricia Crone debunks the myth of Mecca as a wealthy hub of the international spice trade; other scholars have attempted to argue Mecca was indeed wealthy and important based on other economic activity, like mining precious metals, but there isn't evidence for this either, really.

There certainly isn't evidence of the kind of literacy rates we would expect to see in a place carrying out complex financial transactions. Its economy was largely pastoralist (the landscape could support little else), with only a small local trade network, and its population was small--perhaps around 500, with 130 free adult men.

Pre-Islamic Mecca as an important place of pilgrimage is also not substantiated. The most important elements of the hajj are at sites located well outside the ancient city, and discussions of ancient pilgrimages have Mecca itself as an afterthought. Mecca as a component of these pilgrimages seems to be a later development that was part of the Islamicization of these practices. The Ka'ba itself is unfortunately not only off limits to investigation, but was destroyed and rebuilt twice near the end of the 7th century, and is the product of competing interests in the second Islamic civil war.

Whether the shrine of Mecca (if it existed) was pagan or not is unknown. It is nevertheless unlikely to have been of significance to anyone outside Mecca itself. The "masjid al-haram" of the Quran is hard to identify clearly; tradition associates it with the space around the Ka'ba, but Mecca as a haram, a sacred space, is unlikely, and this term may have been associated with the nearby sites of Mina or Arafat, or somewhere else.

"Nor can we even say with any certainty that the Kaʿba and the House of the Qur’an refer to a shrine in Mecca. After all, the Qur’an explicitly identifies the location of the House as “Bakka�� rather than Mecca (3:96). Judging on the basis of the Qur’an itself, and not the later Islamic tradition, Bakka clearly seems to be a different place from Mecca. The Islamic tradition is of course desperate to identify this Bakka and its sanctuary with the Meccan shrine still revered by Muslims today. Therefore, in order to remedy the Qur’an’s highly inconvenient location of its shrine in Bakka, many later Islamic scholars simply decided, without any actual historical basis, that either Bakka is an older name for Mecca or else Bakka refers specifically to the Kaʿba itself and its immediate surrounding in Mecca. There is, however, no justification for identifying Bakka with Mecca either in whole or in part other than a determined need to bring the Qur’an fully into agreement with the Islamic tradition.60 Nothing allows us to assume that when the Qur’an says Bakka it means Mecca, particularly since it correctly names Mecca elsewhere." This may in fact be an intertextual reference to Psalg 84:6-7, which places Jerusalem's Holy House in a place named Baka, said to be where pilgrims gathered to make their ascent to the Temple Mount. Early Islam was certainly interested in Jerusalem; early Muslims are said to have prayed in the direction of Jerusalem, and were interested in restoring worship and dignity to the temple there.

Yathrib was likewise small; a collection of settlements around an oasis, where dates and possibly some limited amounts of grain could be grown. It would have been bigger than Mecca, but not dramatically so--maybe a thousand inhabitants in twenty square miles, and the scale of its economy would still have been very small, with very limited trade--the real trade routes of the era were on the Red Sea by ship, not inland through places like Yathrib.

The Quran itself "clearly demands" an audience well-versed in Biblical and post-Biblical traditions; it presupposes familiarity with tropes of that tradition, and opaquely references things it assumes its audience knows well. It is unlikely that the background culture of Muhammad's day in Mecca or the Yathrib oasis was familiar with this literature, and "it seems far more reasonable" to assume extensive contact between Muhammad's early followers and these traditions took place outside the central inland Hijaz. This is in facy why Cook, Crone, et al. locate the beginnings of Islam further north (but this maybe mistakes a later process of cultural contact that was read back into Islam's beginnings as being there from the start. Mecca and Medina were important political centers of Islam from very early on, so if Islam didn't arise there, it would be weird for these small towns to suddenly become important later).

[slotumn]

One of the many things I cannot help but be a pedantic bitch wrt 3H worldbuilding/fanon portrayals is Almyra's physical environment. Defaulting to "Middle East (or anywhere that seems vaguely culturally adjacent to there) = all of it is stereotypical video game desert level" is very uninspired imo, and directly contrary to the few tidbits we get in canon.

I mean, it's stated that they do have deserts, but they also have mountains and plains (and even forests), probably in about equal amounts (or more). Look at this tidbit in-game:

Almyra

A great kingdom to the east of Fódlan. Its territory borders that of the Leicester Alliance, with the precipitous mountain range known as Fódlan's Throat acting as the dividing line. Its people maintain a strong legacy of horsemanship and relish in the thrill of battle. This vast kingdom is rich in fertile prairies, deserts, and mountain ranges.

As for more solid visual examples of Almyra's environments, we can always look to its real-life motifs. In Claude's support with Hapi in Hopes, they reference Almyra as having steppes, which might look something like this (Kazakhstan):

For mountains, including Fódlan's Throat range, something like this (eastern Anatolia, Turkey):

or this (Ural Mountains, Russia; and since Urals are considered the "dividing line" between Asia and Europe there's a good chance this is the actual motif for the Fódlan's Throat mountain range; they even have precious gemstones there, like in Goneril):

Almyran navy's fleets appear to be active up north, around the Whitehorn Sea. I think the approximate analogue to Whitehorn irl would be Black Sea/Caspian Sea, probably? Here's what those places look like (Batumi Bay in Georgia for Black Sea, Gorgan Bay in Iran for Caspian Sea; btw I'm pretty sure Shahid's unique class name, Gurgan, is from Gorgan):

Moving south, Almyra is called Palmyra in the original Japanese, and the real Palmyra is located in present-day Syria. Here's a photo of the Palmyra historical site:

Closer to the Mediterranean, this is Byblos, Lebanon:

I'd guess the fertile plains (emphasis on fertile) are approximately equivalent to Mesopotamia? In the current day, the area— and most of the places mentioned here— have undergone a lot of desertification. It's especially massive and a rapidly growing threat now, but it was a thing even before human industrial activities. But I'd guess the agricultural production in the equivalent regions are still pretty good as of canon 3H era.

Here's Nineveh from Iraq:

Now, as for the deserts: big sprawling sandy areas you usually think of when you read "desert" probably aren't under the direct control of the regime for the most part, but rather the local tribes that have pledged allegiance to Almyra while still being mostly autonomous in practice. That's usually how it was irl, in places like the Najd (inner part of Arabian Peninsula); these places are difficult to navigate and difficult to govern, easier to just let the guys who were already there keep doing their thing so long as they agree they're your vassals and don't get too rowdy. Applies to colder deserts too, btw, so I like to think that Almyra has the horse-riding desert nomad archetypes in both the scorching and freezing variations.

The desert regions that are under more direct control of the regime are likely ones that have active centers of trade. So, port cities by the coastline, or oasis cities.

Some real-life examples of cities famous for commerce in the Arabian Peninsula (Salalah in Oman, Aden in Yemen):

Tl;dr: if Fódlan isn't a monolith, either in culture or geography, no way in hell Almyra is.

(Also West and Central Asian history is super interesting and I think more people should get into it but that's my personal taste/opinion,)

[illusions11]

ART COMPETITION!

Oasis art competition time! Depending on how many people join depends on the amount of "winners", Oasis will chose her favorite drawings and those will be the winning one/s

Pictures of her for reference :D

This will be ending next Wednesday, GOOD LUCK GAYMERS!

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

As a bastard, I have always been interested in bastard names in fantasy so I have a few! All based on each regions own geography and culture and entirely based on my own headcannons. Also, these names are translated to Ru'auns version of common, with them probably having their own words in their native tongue. Exceptions to these rules are children that are claimed as legitimate or are gifted their own last names.

Southern Tu'la: Of the Sands - of the Vipers - of the Oasis. Southern Tu'la in my writing is very Egypt, India, and Dorne inspired. Of the Sands is the most common one, for bastards of lower class or bastards who need to be HIDDEN. Of the Vipers is for bastards of military personnel, a warning that their parent might not be too kind. Of the Oasis is reserved for bastards of the royal family and priests/priestesses, for Oasis's are rare and special.

Northern Tu'la: Stray - MaoMao - Lucky. Northern Tu'la is very Japanese and Chinese inspired and it is where I believe has the highest amount of mei'fwa. All of these are cat themed and are all class based. Lower class bastard, the ones of farmers and lower class officials are referred to as Strays, as they normally don't have homes. MaoMao are the bastards are the children of middle and high ranked officials, they are more often than not considered spare children so are treated better than strays, think indoor-outdoor cats. Lucky are bastards of extremely high ranked officials and royals, often used in bargaining and are treated as lucky for being alive.

Gal'ruk: Wind-Brought - Sea-Snatched - Mountain-Claimed. Given how superstitious Gal'ruk is in the main-continuity and the fact that they are on frozen islands, I think children of any kind would be considered gifts. For those that are not born in wedlock, I believe that they will be named after the area the birther went into labor. Wind-Brought is when they are in their home, a gift of the breeze, Sea-Snatched when they are near or on the sea, and Mountain-Claimed when the birther is in the mountains and nature.

This is going to have to have a part 2 b/c I think that Ru'aun is a much bigger region and it changes from village to village. Gonna require more thought.

im a bastard too and i like to think about last names

Last names when i write work a little differently, and only matter SOMETIMES, and for particular reasons, but this is your moment to lore dump, i won't take that away from you

[pseudocyance]

Pt 4

Of Soulsand and Stars, see masterpost (link) for other parts and tags

Wee bits of fluff within the angst and plot of this one, I'm pretty proud of how it came out

The next part has fluff I swear

Im trying to write fluff

-

“Out of curiosity, why did you seem so out of breath when you first appeared?”

It was nighttime now, and the desert dwellers were sitting by a campfire and cooking dinner.

“Oh, that happens when you die in the void.”

“The void?” Grian tilted his head to the side.

“The space under the world. It turns out that if you dig far enough down, you get to the bottom of everything. Nothing is down there at all,” Scar paused, trying to decide if he wanted to keep explaining. “See, where I come from, we can die and come back an unlimited amount of times. My version of Grian and Mumbo, our boyfriend, seem to think it's really funny to push me into the hole we made to the void all of the time.”

Grian's eyes widened at the words “our boyfriend”.

Scar ignored him and continued. “I die quite a bit, so when I tell you that dying in the void is the worst death, you know I'm telling the truth. You fall and fall down the hole, and then it's just… darkness. Infinite nothing. But it feels like you're being watched. So as you fall into increasingly thinner air where you can't breathe and can't see, it feels like the universe is watching and laughing"

Silence filled the air.

“So… what does it feel like when you die from falling? I hope my Scar wasn't in too much pain.”

“If it happens fast enough you don't feel anything. By the time you respawn, you'll mostly have healed. The bones set quickly.” Scar's voice became harsh. The bubbly person he had been earlier disappeared to show the scars below.

“Good to know.” Grian's voice was a whisper.

-

After prying for Scar's story, Grian felt terrible. He watched the moon slowly make his way up the sky. “I think we should go collect resources in the morning. You can ride Pizza since you don't know the land as well.”

“Pizza?” Scar asked with a slight smile.

“Other Scar named it. It's our llama,” Grian laughed.

That's how they had started referring to the original Scar from this world: Other Scar.Grian couldn't stop worrying about Other Scar. Where was he? Was he gone, or was he in the place this Scar was from?

“I think resource collecting sounds amazing. For now, let's get some sleep." Scar laid down, and his head brushed Grian's leg. “It's strange… I know I'm in a totally different world, but somehow the sky doesn't look any different. The stars are always just the stars.”

Grian leaned back against a chest and closed his eyes. Without thinking, he placed his hand on Scar's head and ran his fingers through his hair.

When he realized what he was doing, he yanked his hand back, silently cursing himself for falling back into his habit with Other Scar.

Scar reached up and grabbed his hand to place it back on his head, sending silent permission for the touch.

They sat there, watching the fire. Watching the stars. Just for this moment, the desert was their oasis in the sands of chaos.

-

“What should we do about them?”

“There's something wrong. We should take advantage of that.”

"Did you see Scar? He didn't look quite right, and Grian seemed on edge.”

“Exactly.”

“Neither of them have left the desert for a week - they're going to have to leave for resources soon.”

“Let's camp out in the forest. When they finally leave, you grab Scar, and I'll take out Grian.”

[trash-can-sam]

Ive finally made a sandrock OC (KIND OF) I havent just stolen the design of and put somewhere else. and I really want to talk about her. So here she is.

I wanted to give some lore to this character Qi mentions 3 times

AND now shes in my brain, so Ill say some things about her:

She wanted to be a biologist but ended up going into the same type of research job Qi's in because it paid more

Qi and Bugs went to college together and ended up working pretty closely on a few projects, maybe even had internships/jobs at the same place for a while before Qi moved to Sandrock.

She got the nickname Bugs because she would always pick up random bugs in elementry school and the name just kind of stuck. She prefers it to her actual name (which I have not thought of yet because names are hard)

Qi says that they are rivals, but I dont think thats actually true given how much they talk. I think its a lot more like a one sided rivalry where Qi has decided shes his rival and she just kinda plays along because its fun, but theyre actually just friends (not that Qi would admit that, but Bugs refers to and thinks of him as a friend)

Although she still works in Vega 5, she doesnt particularly love it there. To her, she just has nowhere else to go and the pay and lifestyle of Vega 5 is too much to resist, especially for someone wihtout that many goals.

Qi managed to get her into Gungham and so they have amazing conversations that only come from ADHD-Autism friendships where both people have the same hyperfixation. (I speak from experience when I say its the best thing)

She visits sandrock sometimes because she doesnt know where else to go when she has stacked up vacation days.

She gets very annoyed whenever people dont know what they're talking about, hence her friendship with Qi not really being an issue, because both of them are like this and they both thrive off of each others intellectual energy.

ALSO. Some things about her personal relationships to people in Sandrock:

Her and Grace are dating, mostly because I want Grace to have a girlfriend so bad (I am so starved for sapphic relationships you dont understand). They have been rotating in my brain SO MUCH, so I'll talk about them. This is largely because it would be SO FUNNY.

Their relationship started because Bugs would regularly visit Sandrock, so she would see Grace a lot. Since the Blue Moon Saloon isnt really that busy, they would talk to eachother quite a bit. After a few trips of both of them talking, Bugs decides it would be funny to mess with Qi whenever her and Qi eat dinner later that night, and she thinks the funniest way to do that is by Grace hitting on her at this dinner. Make it real awkward for Qi. I plan on making a comic for this actually SO we will see if it actually gets done. If it does it will be so funny you dont even know (it definetly will not be thats the brainrot talking.)

After that, they meet up outside the Blue Moon Saloon to toast to their success of making Qi extremely confused, they walk around sandrock and sit at the oasis a while. Nothing happens that night, but they both come away from it as deeper friends and a little crush. Not in like, a way that is that noticable, or a way either of them intend on pursuing, but a way that definelty exists. Neither of them are stupid, and both of them tend to do a good amount of introspection, so they both pick up on this and it changes the dynamic a little, but in a good way.

As time goes on, Bugs makes more and more visits to Sandrock, to see Qi of course, but the reason increasingly becomes to see Grace as well. They both flirt with eachother a bit here and there, until Grace asks her out on a date and it ends up becoming a thing. Still thinking of details there BUT! They will be thought of, dont worry.

NOW, For what this relationship means for them both and their similarities and a couple differences:

For both of them, this is the first romantic relationship they have had that really feels like the other person can keep up with them. Both of them are super smart, and they both sort of have unfollowed dreams.

They are also both workaholics discontent with the circumstances they're in, and I feel like they bond a lot over that.

BOTH OF THEM ARE VERY SILLY. Grace, especially if youre dating her, uses a lot of very silly language. Like whenever youre dating, her greeting is "Hey good lookin, what ya got cookin?" She has many many silly lines and I would reccomend reading her dialogue page if you havent already read it all the way through like 3 times. Bottom line is, shes goofy. And Bugs is also goofy. Not in exactly the same way, but like she calls Qi a chatty cathy, thats goofy. AND SOMETHING GRACE WOULD DO IF HER AND QI WERE FRIENDS IN THAT WAY. They would be a very annoying couple and I find that extremely funny especially in the context of them spending a good amount of time with Qi, who probably doesnt pick up on it half the time.

Both of them are the type to distract from their inner turmoil with humor. If you have gone on a playdate with grace or read her entire dialogue page, you would know she does this a non-zero amount of times, quite commonly in fact. Bugs does the same type of thing, but she does tend to talk a lot less than Grace.

Bugs is an introvert unlike Grace, but she can read people surprisingly well. Not anywhere near as well as Grace, of course, but still pretty well.

Both have jobs that end up with them being relatively isolated from personal connections. For Bugs, shes working in a team with a lot of people she doesnt really like, for Grace, she has to keep quiet about her job for the most part. This leads to them having an interesting dynamic in which both of them dont really know how to navigate personal, unguarded relationships super well. Bugs hasnt had any close friends in a long time, and Grace cant turn off her agent brain, oftentimes getting a lot more from Bugs than Bugs would want her to. I have a real thing for relationships where one person is quite guarded and the other person can read them super well, and Bugs and Grace fit this dynamic very well in both directions. Bugs tends to read Grace more than she expects too, not by a crazy amount or anything, but she does catch Grace offguard occasionally, just because Grace tends to drop it more often without realizing it around Bugs.

They have the same sort of (aspiring) archeolegist and researcher dynamic Grace and Qi have (That I touched on here) but romantic so. I think thats fun personally, because its a cool sort of combining of forces. It also hits a bit different from Grace's and Qi's simply because Bugs is a lot more like Grace personality wise.

A couple other relationships in sandrock:

Her and Zeke get along. She visits Zeke sometimes, because of her interest in biology. And I just think they would get along. Not just because she likes plants but I also think she would appricate how Zeke is very knowlegable on what he does as well as desert farming in general.

She doesnt like the church very much (for the innate ideological differences that come with being a researcher), but she still has a laugh with Dan-Bi occasionally.

I like the idea of her getting along with Fang a bit. I think she has at least looked at some of what she uses to make medicine and is like "oh wow thats genius!"

I think she would have a very fun time messing with Yan (because Yan is literally so funny idc what anyone else says I love him so much) I dont think she would like him, but I think she would have fun talking to him every now and then just to prod him (which Yan ofc doesnt notice) for goofs.

I love the idea of her getting along with Unsuur. I cannot explain why. But I think they would be drinking buddies.

Some design notes and how she dresses when shes not in a lab coat:

I had to give her a long lab coat because thats a demographic severely underepresented in sandrock

Her shirt color is pretty similar to Qi's undershirt, it just felt like it fit. Its also half untucked like Qi's, but Bugs does it because she thinks it looks good while Qi does it because hes tired. I dont really know how to draw that sort of distinction, but just know that its there.

Her belt buckle is gold while Qis is silver

Her hairtie is dark blue, Qis tie is light blue. Theres not a whole lot to that I just thought it was neat personally.

Her fashion sense tends to be pretty casual, usually hoodies and shorts while shes in her apartment and pretty normal streetwear outside of it. I dont think that she wears as many belts as the average Sandrock or Portia citizen. Since we havent been to Vega 5, I cant say for sure what the normal fashion sense is like, but based off of Qi and Petra, who are more like the average Vega 5er, and what is known about the culture, I assume regular dress tends to be more busniess casual-formal. I dont count Merlin, who was so eccentric she got kicked out of Vega 5, Or Mint, who seems overly casual, in this assesment. However, Bugs dresses in whatever is slightly more casual than the normal Vega 5 streetwear. Not as casual as Mint, but definetly not formal. She's kind of done with Vega 5's general busniess culture, not done enough to leave, but done enough that she doesnt really care what she wears off the clock if that makes sense.

That is all for my unhinged ramblings. I have a lot of ideas about her and maybe I will actually do something with those, so I thought I should introduce her.

[jade-mythriil]

Human Settlements of Pyrrhia

There are not many human settlements known in the books. So I decided to come up with a few that I also often use and reference in my own fics. These are some of the human settlements I made up with some lore behind them.

* Defiant is a subterranean village located in the far western edge of the rainforest founded by the Bush Clan by repurposing an ancient iron ore mine and expanding the caverns within with more living quarters. Outside the mines, there are trenches covered by foliage sprawled across their territory floor to help the clansmen hide in case of a dragon attack. The bush clan defenses involve setting up traps and ambushing intruders. Their marksmen have the truest aim and are capable of hitting targets with much precision.

* Tranquility is a town built within the shoreside cliffs south of Defiant and is inhabited by the Wave Clan. The town has a subterranean dock where the Wave Clan builds and stores their fishing sail boats known as paraws. The beaches below the cliffside is where the clan dries their harvest(seaweed, fish, etc.) and collect trade goods. On top of the cliffs is a small clearing where they meet with the Bush clan to do trade. Wooden cranes are set up on the cliff's edge to make it easy to transfer goods to the beach below. Trenches are also dug up on the clifftop clearing to help defend against aerial dragon attacks. The Wave clan attacks by utilizing incendiary arrows that stick to dragon scales, are hard to put out and burn for a long time.

* The Empire of Kiln is a human kingdom located in the western coastal mountains west of the Scorched Desert. They're one of the only kingdoms to have managed to maintain their power since the Scorching amidst the constant threat. They have the highest amount of iron resource of any human settlement being located over a large iron deposit making them the largest export of iron of any settlement.

* The Silent Oasis Camp is a small trade outpost where traders from other settlements stop to rest before heading out into the desert. It has a relatively small oasis but enough for the people to live off of. This was set up by the empire of Kiln to help their traders rest after a full night of travel (which is the only safe time for caravans to traverse the desert.)

* Athanor is an underground human city found within the old sewer network of Ancient Athanor just below the Old Athanor ruins. Most of the humans here live within the networks, dungeons, and sewer systems of the ancient city. Athanor has some of the most well-preserved archives of any settlement with books and scrolls that date back to before the Scorching. It contains many documents on ancient sciences, elements, alchemy, and other sciences thought to have been lost to time.

* Allegro is a small village located within the dense birch forests which helps them keep dragons away.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 31/08/2024 (Fontaines D.C.'s Romance, Sabrina Carpenter, Coldplay)

Well, Sabrina Carpenter has done what Taylor couldn’t do: fill out the top three with her hits, though only the #1 debut - her third song to top the chart - is new, that being “Taste”, with her #1 album, which sold over 89k here, launching other Short n’ Sweet hits “Please Please Please” and “Espresso” to #2 and #3 respectively. Hell, while we’re here, let’s just chalk out Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!” at #4 and Chase & Status’ “BACKBONE” with Stormzy at #5. It’s… one of those weeks. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: sexual and mental health references

Rundown: Oasis Special

This week has a lot to discuss, a decent amount happening, but it’s all scattered throughout the entire chart and, really, not much of it is all that interesting, though that may just be a me problem in this case. There’s plenty of interest to many fanbases, including one of the biggest in the country but I personally can’t call myself a fan of Fontaines D.C., Sabrina Carpenter - the album was good, though - or even Oasis, the divisive but still massively successful Britpop band who have “reunited” (let’s be tentative about this) for a tour after over a decade of inactivity, though many people don’t recall or respect the years of shovelling out garbage that occurred long after their heyday, so it may seem like even longer. They do have three of their biggest, most respected hits on the chart this week, though only one of their eight #1s - more a demonstration of their quantity of hits than any comment on their lasting legacy.

Firstly, the song used in headlines about the reunion as if this really isn’t the most unstable tempering of relations since North and South Korea: “Live Forever” is back at #19. It debuted and peaked at #10 for two weeks in 1994, whilst Wet Wet Wet’s “Love is All Around” was #1, and made appearances lower down the chart for pretty much all of the 90s… and then 2017. It’s Liam Gallagher’s personal favourite Oasis song, and has since become a bit of a tribute ballad due to its sentiment.

At #17 is “Wonderwall”, which is possibly their most iconic tune and has spent a whopping total of 90 weeks on the chart, yet never matching its first-week peak of #2 in 1995, being blocked by a double-A-side release by Robson & Jerome that nobody remembers. It spent a couple weeks meandering throughout the 90s but resurged on digital sales platforms since 2008 and occasionally makes appearances lower down on the chart since, most recently in November of last year. Though the track may go down as one of the most-covered songs of all time, only a few non-Oasis renditions have appeared on the UK Singles Chart. The Mike Flowers Pops Orchestra actually took it to an identical peak of #2 that Christmas, being blocked my Michael Jackson’s “Earth Song”. 1996 would see dance versions by Bombayblue and De-Code reach #82 and #69 respectively, and American singer-songwriter Ryan Adams charted in 2004 with his rendition at #27. For my money, the best version of “Wonderwall” is when JAY-Z pettily butchering the song at Glastonbury in response to Noel Gallagher indicating his genre wasn’t welcome at the festival. Other than straight-up covers, you can hear elements of the track in Simple Plan’s 2008 hit “Your Love is a Lie” (#63) and Bugzy Malone’s 2017 hit with Tom Grennan, “Memory Lane” (#65). They are, like the original song, not worth listening to.

Finishing the Gallaghers’ trio of songs is my personal favourite of the three, “Don’t Look Back in Anger” which has actually spent barely over half of the weeks “Wonderwall” has on the charts. It debuted at #1, peaking there for one week in 1996, beating out spacemen, hippies and children. It dwoddled around for the next year, returned in 2017 and returned even higher today. The Wurzels reached #59 with their version in 2002.

As for the rest of what’s going on, well, don’t we usually start with the notable dropouts? Songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40? Yes, you’d be correct, I guess I just decided some angry middle-aged Mancunians was of more importance. Regardless, this week, we say farewell to: “You’re Gonna Go Far” by Noah Kahan, the “Set My Heart on Fire” mashup of “I’m Alive” and “The Beat Goes On”, overall credited to Majestic, The Jammin’ Kid and Céline Dion, “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar, “MILLION DOLLAR BABY” by Tommy Richman, “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat, “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra and Natasha Bedingfield with both “Unwritten” and the Badger remix of “These Words”.

As for our notable gains and re-entries, we have the return of Fontaines D.C.’s “Starburster” thanks to their album release - we’re actually going to review more songs from them than Sabrina - then solid boosts for a handful of tracks, thoe being “Close to You” by Gracie Abrams at #68, “Bring Me Joy” by Rudimental and Karen Harding at #61 and “Cry Baby” by Clean Bandit, Anne-Marie and David Guetta at #51. Now that’s all out of the way - in a different order this time - let’s crack down on the songs that arrived on the boat this week.

New Entries

#73 - “Diet Pepsi” - Addison Rae

Produced by Luka Kloser and ELVIRA

Sigh… first of all, I’m a Dr. Pepper girl myself. Secondly, Addison Rae is the exact kind of person I would never care about: a TikTok personality largely famous for being a social media “it girl” that makes industry-backed moves into traditional media outlets but never really performs too well, gaining a cultish fanbase in part because of that. You can say that she served only for long enough until people start asking, well, “what did she serve exactly?” I had the same opinion of Ice Spice when she first came out, but Rae is being propped by people I actually care for like Charli xcx and A.G. Cook, so surely there’s something there… no, there is not. Bizarrely, for an Internet personality, this feels dated and out of time with what is actually popular. This is a 2018-era falsetto-driven alternative R&B-esque track, complete with weirdly-mixed trap-adjacent percussion that really loves my left ear and synths straight out of The Weeknd’s Google Drive he shared with, like, Halsey, watt, Post Malone and co. back in the late 2010s. There are vague references to Lana Del Rey who approached this sound better on “Summer Bummer”, but there really just aren’t many lyrics here at all in this murky sex jam to form much of anything. The bridge is a vocaloid drop circa 2017 EDM but without any of the build-up, impact or even bothering to properly resolve that aborted bridge. It all just reeks of wanting to be interesting and not actually going for it.

#69 - “Favourite” - Fontaines D.C.

Produced by James Ford

I have yet to listen to Irish indie outfit Fontaines D.C.’s most recent record, Romance. I said when reviewing “Starburster” a few weeks ago that I was not familiar and the single had convinced me on them, but I guess I have my priorities, like relistening to middling James Blake albums from 2019 and contemplating the marketing tactis of the Grimace Shake. At the same time, of course. They would have topped the albums chart on any non-Sabrina week and are at #2 today, but we have more debuts from them to discuss, and I may be missing out on some greater album context, so bear with me on that regard. This was another pre-release just charting in the top 75 for the first time, and starts with a cascading guitar riff not dissimilar to 80s post-punk with a reverb-affected mix that cleans up quite nicely overall but does give vocalist Grian Chatten an interesting dynamic where despite a technically good and clear recording, he appears to purposefully restrain himself from hitting the notes exactly or enunciating all that well, meshing in with the thematically dazed content. He reminisces on simpler times, but ensures to place those times in context and understand that a lot of that nostalgia comes from an ignorance that he no longer has, or has to be strewn out on numbness to experience it, not that it helps since now, all that numbness does is prevent him from feeling anything at all. I will say that amidst the driving jangle of the track, there isn’t a solid hook, which again makes perfect thematic sense for the disoriented dream he’s having here but doesn’t string me back to this song in particular. That main riff is incessantly catchy but it feels a bit wasted on a more hypnotic structure that thrives more on that droning tedium emphasising how distant they are from youth and how paranoid that’s made him in his relationships. This is still very good, but outside of knowing how it fits into the album’s themes, I’m not sure why I’d choose this song in particular.

#53 - “Wait for You” - Myles Smith

Produced by Peter Fenn

Oh, the world’s just been waiting for the “Stargazing” follow-up. This is similarly plucked straight out of 2014, with the folk pick-up and over-processed vocals that really reach a territory difficult to listen to in that pre-chorus, and become a full-on wall of vocal on the chorus about waiting for this other person to be… happy. Okay, so lyrically, there is an interest to this that there isn’t really to its instrumental - I like the perky drums that pick up the pace in the second verse, though - as whilst it’s not too specific, it appears to be about an undying loyalty to a friend struggling with mental health, always being by their side, but also, it hits a weird note on the idea of waiting, not actually acting upon the compassion he has for this person, and because of the focus on Myles himself and just how he wants to wait for this person to be okay, it fails to be inspirational or a generic empowerment anthem, yet it cannot function as a love song either because of how dedicated he is to the mental health angle. Some of the lyrics downplay the issue, though, deriding it as “words in [their] head”, and that trust me, he knows what it’s like, but it’s still their problem to deal with it. It appears well-meaning until that one line in the chorus: “you can’t push me away”. It almost seems obsessive and hopeless, that Smith is clinging onto someone who he’s already tried helping with the meaningless platitudes he fills this song with. I may just be reading too much into a badly-written folk-pop motivational song, but there’s a hint of weirdness to the emotional balance here that is very distracting and self-focused, that I can’t help but think this won’t connect on the same level as “Stargazing”, even if it’s a bit more tolerable on a sonic level to me.

#52 - “In the Modern World” - Fontaines D.C.

Produced by James Ford

Our second of the pair of Fontaines songs is much newer, with the album pumping it up to their highest peak so far, and I’m starting to find it really interesting just how numb these tracks from an album titled Romance are. I also start to understand why this one in particular was what got so high, given the on-the-nose lyrics about just feeling nothing in particular in the 21st century - not feeling anything, but at least not feeling bad - and the clearly post-Britpop strings that bring this into 2000s UK radio rock territory. This really isn’t that far from mid-era Feeder’s wheelhouse, which is not a comparison I think I’d have made for a charting song in 2024, but hey, if I get Feeder propaganda out there, I will. Some empty promises are made to a lover that they complete Chatten, help him belong and hence he’ll make sure that when he does feel some life, she’ll be included, and it’s largely thanks to her… but he doesn’t want to dwell on that too much, he wants to remain some sense of authority in that softly-spoken bridge. The back-and-forth between Chatten and the even wispier Conor Deegan on the chorus is a really unique take that feeds into these lyrics but, wow, the song just goes nowhere. It ends about as empty and airy as it started which actually does not fit as well to me as the less solid structure of “Favourite”. This could be taken to much grander spaces and feel arbitrarily shortened, or at least having cut some paths in the songwriting process that might have actually been worth exploring. This is far from bad, but it’s somewhat disappointing that the song feels like this much of a draft, though it iis pleasant enough to listen to, and I do think that given its middle placement on the album, this could be a case of needing to understand how it plays into other tracks. As far as I can tell, though, this is far from what it could be.

#44 - “WE PRAY” - Coldplay featuring Little Simz, Burna Boy, Elyanna and TINI

Produced by Max Martin, ILYA, Bill Rahko, Daniel Green and Michael Ilbert

I saw the album’s tracklist. I knew this was happening. Yet it still doesn’t make sense when it’s being written out like that. This is a Max Martin-produced Coldplay track with conscious rapper Little Simz, Nigerian Afrobeats crooner Burna Boy and barely substantial vocal contributions from Palestinian singer Elyanna and Argentine TINI… in less than four minutes. Now, as of recent, Coldplay have done similarly off-the-beaten-path, artsy stringing together of disparate collaborators and ideas for vague conscious platitudes, Everyday Life is probably the most obvious example, but this really does not function properly as a song, over anything. As a reflection of multicultural understanding and collaboration, it’s something, but it also sounds like Imagine Dragons. That weak hip hop beat is placed under some grandiose strings that are at least clearly orchestrated and expensive, but Chris Martin’s vocal delivery is not very inspired, and his lyrical framing of being on the outside looking into struggles experienced not just by unnamed brothers and friends, but specific indigenous political activists in Guatemala, but still claiming to be “in the valley of the shadow of the death”, is either a misunderstanding of the phrase or giving himself some detached self-importance that does not help the populist tinge of what is supposed to be a relatively inspirational track, praying for better times to take us out of the difficulties of now. Burna Boy sounds great and I actually appreciate that he and Simz get to play off each other in backing vocals but by that point, the song’s nearly finished and both Elyanna and TINI are rendered part of the choir singing a wordless refrain, turning what I’d call meaningless platitudes about a better world into, well, literally and objectively meaningles lyrics. I don’t think Virgilio Aguilar Mendez can “la-la-la” their way out of false arrest and systemic oppression. I’m also just ashamed that the one time I talk about Little Simz on this series, she delivers her most generic and phoned-in verse that, for what it’s worth, spreads the love more evenly than Martin’s. I really wanted something like this to work, for the sake of the promising ambition and social context it’s supporting, but I really don’t like this at all. It has the grandiosity to pick up the entire world in its mix but does little more than shake it around and make pleas, which… honestly may be a more fitting analogy for modern society than I’d hoped for.

#1 - “Taste” - Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by John Ryan, Ian Kirkpatrick and Julian Bunetta

This was far from my favourite on Short n’ Sweet - in fact, I think it’s relatively unremarkable, even if still good - but its narrative about a breakup between Sabrina and her partner, who’s gone back to his ex-girlfriend but now has the lingering influence of his relationship with Ms. Carpenter when he’s back together with her, or at least that’s what Sabrina wants to believe, makes for a good, sapphic music video where actress Jenna Ortega murders her boyfriend because she hallucinated that she was kissing Sabrina instead. Carpenter - in seemingly both the video and the song - plays a nonchalant but quietly obsessed figure who drives the two to paranoia through very specific and often sexual remarks that are cute, pointed references to her own public image and potential celebrity feuds. It’s definitely the ultimate pop star move for the social media age, but the song’s just fine: the slick guitars are cute and I like the subtle distortion in some of the vocal takes and drum patterns, particularly that moment before the chorus, that adds an edge to what is otherwise a very shiny little song, made to be an earworm but also a flickering reminder of her existence to this new girlfriend that doesn’t really connect with me because… well, who cares? Relationship drama on this level without higher stakes doesn’t really grab me as anything worth caring about, especially without a whammy of a bridge to really hold it together. I prefer it to “Please Please Please” but the album overall, a very nice collection of pop songs that’s lackadaisical and surprisingly organic, has a better selection of songs to choose from. “Good Graces”, “Sharpest Tool”, “Juno”, “Dumb & Poetic”, to name a few. I’m definitely not complaining about this new #1 though, it probably has a lot of legs, I can see this one sticking to people real fast.

Conclusion

Well, that was… something, wasn’t it? I feel like there are genuinely just a ton of mixed bags here, not just between songs but within them: a lot to love, a lot to dismiss and a fair bit to just be unsatisfied with. Best of the Week goes to Fontaines D.C. for “Favourite”, but it’s not that impressive and Sabrina Carpenter’s “Taste” gets a very faint Honourable Mention. It’s the same case for Worst of the Week, though, as nothing in here is offensively bad, just sighworthy. Honestly, Coldplay might get Worst of the Week for having the gravitas for a mostly empty statement in “WE PRAY”, whilst Addison Rae is close behind with the very ignorable “Diet Pepsi” as the Honourable Mention. As for what’s on the horizon, Rizzle Kicks will swoop in at #1, mark my words. Welcome back, lads. Thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!