#the amount of big project wips I have is insane

[luminousjellyfishy]

More writing!!!!

This one has been in the works for a while, but it's finally here!

~

Truce Talk

Characters (all Sanses from UTAU/MV): Dream, Ink, Nightmare, Error, and Ccino (in passing)

Word count: 4828

Trigger warnings: Swearing, threats of death, amnesia (kinda?)

Summary: Dream and Ink don't know if it was a mistake to meet Nightmare and Error here in Ccino's café. It's so public and there are so many innocent people that could be killed. What if something goes wrong? This wasn't a good idea. Oh, well that's them walking through the door, so it's too late to turn back now.

~

Both Ink and Dream sat on one side in a booth at Ccino’s café, anxiously awaiting the arrival of their long-time enemies. Dream sat against the wall of their shared side, fidgeting with his hands, seemingly unable to sit still for even five seconds; whereas Ink, sitting near the aisle, was uncharacteristically still.

“Where are they? Are we just early, or are they late? I wouldn’t think the latter would be true since Nightmare had never struck me to be the kind of person to allow himself to be la-”

“Dream. Stop rambling like that, I’m sure it’s fine. Remember, they agreed to meet with us in the first place. They’re probably just running late… or using this time as a distraction for us, so they can go destroy universes while we’re sitting here waiting for them…” Ink interrupted, trying to calm his friend, but trailing off at the end nervously. This thought hadn’t yet occurred to Dream, so hearing it from Ink made him doubt his decisions to be here even more so than he already had been.

Ink’s head fell dramatically to the table, resting in his arms and sighing loudly, drawing a glare from Dream.

“Is being here even the right choice? How do we actually know that they’ll even consider forming a truce?” Dream exhaled deeply, moving from fidgeting with his fingers to playing around with the napkins.

“We don’t. That’s the thing. We can’t know for sure that they’ll consider it, in the same way that they can’t be sure that this isn’t some elaborate plan for an ambush.” Ink shifted his head, looking up from his arms to glance at Dream before closing his eyes and sighing again, clearly bored.

There was no response from Dream, the only noise being the ambient sounds from the other patrons.

The silence between the two continued for a short while until the bell on the front door chimed and all sound in the café ceased as they watched who walked in.

Dream stiffened as he could feel the two negative auras approaching from behind them. He was internally scolding himself for choosing to sit with their backs to the door, having wanted to seem like they trusted the two not to hurt them.

But he didn't trust them. Not in the slightest.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, both Error and Nightmare slid into the booth seat across from them, with Nightmare closer to the wall. Ink finally straightened, feeling apprehensive about having them across from him in such a casual setting where people could be hurt if something went wrong.

“Hey, losers.” Error snickered once they had settled, his face as mocking as it always seemed to be.

“Don’t be rude, Error. What did we talk about?” Nightmare scolded, a quick glare shooting into Error’s direction. In response was the most crude mocking of Nightmare’s words that Error could muster.

Nightmare rolled his eyelight, then said, “My apologies for being so late, I spent some extra time with Error this morning in order to make sure he wouldn’t make such a fool of himself… although it seems my efforts were rather pointless. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed, so once Cross pointed out what time it actually was, we hurried right here.”

“By ‘hurried here’, he means that he took less time than usual to get dressed, go downstairs, get the morons in line, and make sure that no one has any plans to burn the house down while we’re gone.” Error said nonchalantly but joking at the same time, as though this was what happened every day.

Dream’s face must have been one of confusion because Error asked, in a surprisingly genuine tone, “What? Does Blue not try committing arson every time you leave him alone?”

Ink blinked a couple times, eyelights changing colours rapidly, then laughed louder than was actually necessary.

“No?? I can say for a fact that he does not.”

Error didn’t say anything, just scrunched his ‘eyebrows’ and face into a contorted look of confusion, scoffed, and shook his head.

Before their conversation could continue any further, Ccino showed up beside their booth, pen and notepad in hand.

“Hey guys, it’s nice to have you all here! Also, Error I didn’t expect to see you back so soon, but it’s great anyways! Alrighty then, what can I get you guys?” Ccino asked the group, a bright smile on his face.

“Can I have a strawberry cream frappé, please? They’re so good!” Ink exclaimed, his eyelights taking on various shapes in pink and yellow, and slight drool forming in the corner of his mouth.

“Sure thing, extra whipped cream I’m guessing?”

“Of course!”

“A cinnamon apple tea for me, thanks. Oh, but could I also have a chocolate chip cookie?” Dream inquired, eyes lighting up as he thought about the delicious sweetness of the cookies Ccino sold.

“Yeah, we can totally do that!” Ccino replied, smiling softly then turning over to Nightmare, “What about you?”

“Can I just have a regular coffee?” He asked simply, glancing up at Ccino as he spoke.

“Boooooooring.” Ink interjected quickly.

A soft laugh then, “Yup! And what about you, Error?”

“Uhhhhhhhmm, I guess just a hot chocolate..?”

Ccino began to speak, but was quickly interrupted,

“Oh stars, you're so pathetic sometimes. Just tell him that you want a cookie as well, we all know you do.” Nightmare said tauntingly, grinning over at him with a teasing smile.

Error stared at him, mouth agape and eyes wide, a very slight yellow over his cheeks that you would have to strain to see.

Turning his attention to Ccino briefly, he said reluctantly, quietly, and very unlike himself, “… fine… can I have a chocolate cookie as well?”.

Ccino laughed, “Of course! I probably would have brought one over without you asking anyways - I know you love them so much.”

Error nodded, but looked away sheepishly.

With that, Ccino walked away with his notepad back to the counter, humming as he went.

Error’s attention was turned quickly back to Nightmare, giving him the dirtiest glare known to exist.

“You bastard! Why did you say that? Seriously what the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” Error said suddenly to Nightmare, trying his very best not to speak too loudly as to disrupt the other patrons.

Both Ink and Dream giggled at not just the sudden outburst, but the context behind it. Error’s eyes quickly darting over to them; a warning that they should keep quiet. Their giggles were very quickly stifled, and they looked away uncomfortably.

“Oh, Error, be serious. You and I both know that you are physically incapable of going without chocolate for too long. I was just preventing you from making a scene later, whining about how much you want some.” Nightmare replied quickly, a knowing smile on his face as he shook his head and laughed. Error glared at him, seemingly stabbing him with his mind.

“You really like chocolate that much?” Dream inquired with a nervous smile, apparently very intrigued by the thought of Error liking something so simple as chocolate. The attention of the two bickering skeletons were drawn towards the guardian of positivity, having been caught slightly off guard.

“Yeah, so what? Do you have a problem with that?” Error asked, shrugging and staring at Dream, his previous annoyance directed at him now.

“No no no! There’s no problem with it! I just didn’t expect it was all!” Dream replied quickly, raising his hands defensively. Error rolled his eyelights and said nothing.

Silence followed, although it was deafening among the four.

“Soooooooo, since it’s getting way more obvious with every word you two are saying, we hardly actually know each other. Should we do… I don’t know, mini fake introductions? Before we get to the real reason for meeting, anyways.” Ink said suddenly, breaking the silence before it got too awkward. This quickly drew Dream’s attention, since it might be able to give him the opportunity to make new ties with his brother again. The thought made him smile softly, reigniting his hope for this meeting.

“I suppose. It would make sense to know one another before blindly going into something that may or may not be weighted in favour towards certain people.” Nightmare replied, his ending comment being pointed towards Dream with a quick glance that said he was not happy.

Error groaned obnoxiously at the fact that he would have to do more talking, but was quickly interrupted by Nightmare lightly smacking the back of his head.

He quickly turned his head to glare at Nightmare, saying, “You really have no idea just how lucky you are that I’ve been having a good haphephobia day, because if I wasn’t?” a small laugh, “boy, you’d be DONE.”.

Nightmare didn’t even look at him and just laughed, quickly rolling his eyelight in amusement.

“Okkkkk, maybe we should get to the point. I’ll go first because it looks like you two are about to kill each other and Ink will just keep talking forever. So, as you know, I’m Dream. Um, my favourite colour is cerulean, not yellow haha. It’s my favourite because it just looks so peaceful and quiet, so I just really like it a lot. Don’t get me wrong, yellow is a great colour and it’s my second favourite, but cerulean is just so pretty. Also, I looooooove sweets. Lollipops are the best candy and no one will ever change my mind.” Dream started quickly, interrupting Nightmare and Error, and finished with a smile at the thought of candy.

Error stared at him incredulously for a second before asking, “The fuck is cerulean?”.

Dream’s face quickly shifted to one of surprise; Ink looked like he had been personally offended; and Nightmare just looked disappointed, placing his head in his hand and pinching his nasal ridge.

“Error. Please tell me you’re joking.” Ink seemingly begged him, hoping desperately that he did in fact know what cerulean was and was just playing around. He knew deep down that he wasn’t though.

Error just stared at the three of them, trying to prompt an answer.

A sigh from Nightmare, then, “Error, what colour are your tear streaks? Be specific.”

“... Blue??? How much more specific can I be with that?”

“Error-” an exasperated sigh, “Yes, your tears streaks are blue, but specifically they’re cerulean.” Ink explained while shaking his head slowly in disbelief.

“Pffft, if you say so.”

A momentary beat of silence.

“Stars, very well I’ll go next. As you’re all well aware, my name is Nightmare. I enjoy reading in my spare time and have quite the collection of books-”

“That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. You’ve got the biggest library I’ve ever seen; the morons have literally gotten lost in there.” Error quickly intercepted.

“Hush, that’s not what we’re speaking of. Anyways, I believe that I’ve done enough to introduce myself, how about you, Error?” Nightmare said, a sly smile creeping up his features.

“Oh, yippee fun. Whatever. Um. I’m Error, and I uh… like… chocolate?? What the fuck else am I supposed to say? You already know that I destroy AUs, so what else? Um? I crochet? Man this sucks, I’m done with this shit.” Error said, stumbling and glitching through his words, and making it more and more evident to Ink and Dream that he doesn’t talk to people much.

“Wait wait wait wait wait. You crochet? You create? I didn’t think you’d ever do something like that!” Ink asked ecstatically, his eyelights taking on the forms of bright yellow stars.

“Yeah? I make scarves and stuff. I don’t know. I make puppets too, like sewing or whatever.” He responded, clearly not having expected this kind of reaction and not knowing how to proceed.

“That is so cool!!! You’ll have to show me sometime! I’d really love to see!” Ink replied eagerly, lighting up even more so than he already had.

There was no real reply from Error, just awkward murmurs as he tucked the lower half of his face into his scarf as his glitches increased substantially.

Dream smiled to himself softly in amusement, never having expected to see this softer side of Error before. To him, Error had always been a powerful monster with little care for who got hurt in his rampages, but seeing him like this now made Dream question his whole perception.

“Anyways! I’m Ink! As you obviously know! I mean, if you didn’t I’d be pretty concerned because I’ve fought you so many times and you totally couldn’t forget me. Right? Anyways, let's not go there. Uhhhhhh, I do a lot of artsy craftsy things, but my medium of choice is oil paint! Granted I do love painting in general and also charcoal! Oh! And even regular pencil! You can get so many different results with so many different things! Man, I don’t know if oil paints are my favourite. There are so many choi-” Dream reached over and grabbed his face and muffled whatever he tried to say next, which was a lot because he didn’t stop.

After a short while, Ink finally realized that what he was saying wasn’t getting across, so he stopped talking. Dream was finally able to remove his hand, however he had the most exasperated look on his face. Nightmare just looked on in amusement, and Error looked like he wasn’t even paying attention, likely listening to the Voices.

“Are you done?” Dream asked him, staring daggers and daring him to keep going.

“... fine.”

“Can we get to the point of this meeting? Or shall we waste more time speaking of art supplies?” Nightmare asked, his amused expression having morphed into boredom.

Dream started, “Oh, yes. Um, yes of cours-”

“Here are your orders, guys! Sorry I took so long, the cats made a mess of the flour, so I had to get that cleaned before any orders could go out.” Ccino said as he stood by their booth, setting down their drinks and cookies.

Nightmare looked over to him, “It’s no problem at all, thank you.”

“Mhm, thanks Ccino.” Error mumbled, still slightly in his own head.

“Thank you! I appreciate it!” Dream chimed in.

A small beat of silence as Ccino prepared to walk away.

A sudden movement, then, “Oh! Uh, me too! Thanks!” Ink said quickly while rubbing his ribs where Dream had elbowed him.

Ccino laughed and then said, “It’s no problem at all, thanks for coming here!”, before walking away.

Nightmare picked up his cup and began sipping, clearly not caring that it was hot. Ink stirred the whipped cream into the rest of his drink and took a large sip, smiling and relishing in the taste. Dream stirred his drink softly, then let it sit to cool for a moment. Error sat still and stared out the window towards the street, his eyelights having taken on a hazy appearance.

Naturally, Nightmare noticed this and set down his drink, turning towards the Destroyer.

“Error? Is everything alright?”

Nothing much changed, just Error’s still hazy eyelights shifted to him, indicating that he could hear him.

A soft sigh, then, “Error I just need you to breathe and to focus. Ok? Try and tell me things that you see.” Nightmare said in a calm, quiet voice that seemed very out of character for him.

Error’s sockets blinked a few times as he looked around, his eyelights gaining some clarity.

“... café booths and cats. A couple of them. Um. Dream and Ink in front of us… why are they here? Why are we at Ccino’s?” Error asked shakily through a glitchier than normal voice, clearly not remembering about the potential truce.

Both Dream and Ink looked on in concern and slight shock. They obviously hadn’t expected this from Error of all people. While they were aware he wasn’t the most… stable monster out there, forgetting something like this in such a short amount of time with seemingly no prompting wasn’t what they had imagined.

“It’s alright, we’re at Ccino’s to discuss a potential truce, do you remember that? They made the offer to us before a fight could break out between our two groups in Underflowers. They proposed we meet them here today so we could consider. Do you remember what we’ve said so far?” Nightmare said, not paying any attention to Dream or Ink, instead calmly petting Error’s head in a soothing manner with a tentacle.

Error took a few deep breaths and blinked a few times in rapid succession before saying, “Um, yeah I think so. It was mini introductions, right? Apparently… um… oh, cerulean is blue, and uh, I couldn’t really come up with things to say and then Ink got all excited because I mentioned that I crochet… um.” He trailed off for a moment, “There was something after, but I’m not sure. Oh, uh Ccino came by with our stuff.” His eyelights darted around, before they found his drink and cookie.

“Yes, exactly. The part that you can’t remember was Ink’s ‘introduction’, he was just rambling about art supplies, it truly wasn’t much.” Nightmare replied, his tentacle still petting the top of his head.

“... Right. Oh, yeah. Fuck.”

An awkward silence passed between them as Error looked between Dream and Ink in what seemed to be a mixture of horror, shame, and embarrassment.

“Are you alright?” Dream asked quietly, concern written all over his features.

Error stiffened, and avoided looking at Dream, “Yeah. I’m fine. It just happens every now and then. It’s whatever. Can we get back to the point?”

A small beat of silence, before Ink said that they probably should.

No one spoke.

“Oh for fucks sake. Fine, I’ll start us off. What do you expect from us for this truce? We can’t just stop what we do because it would disrupt the balance into chaos, so what do you want?” Error snapped, clearly in a rather foul mood after what had just occurred.

Ink winced before hesitantly asking, “What would happen exactly if you stopped destroying? I’m just curious.”

A quick roll of his eyes before he said, “Like I just said, it would cause chaos. For our balance, it could potentially be kept within the quarter ranges instead of perfectly balanced at half… but that’s not ideal. If I stopped destroying, the Multiverse would fill and just keep filling with nothing to keep it in check.”

The only response he got from Ink was question-mark shaped eyelights.

“Ugh, alright think about it like this. Imagine a balloon.”

“What? A balloon? That’s random.”

“No, it isn’t, shut up. Imagine you have this balloon and you’re pumping air into it. You keep pumping in more and more air, so what happens?”

A thoughtful expression crossed Ink’s face before once again settling on confusion.

“It pops?” He asked, clearly not understanding what revelation Dream had just come to that he should have also had.

“Yes, exactly… What aren’t you getting?” Error said, not understanding what was so difficult to comprehend with his very simple analogy.

“You threw me off with balloons. All I’m imagining is a room full of giant balloons now.” He stated simply.

Error’s head fell to the table and he groaned in annoyance.

“Why are you like this? The balloon represents the Multiverse. The air is the AUs. Too many AUs and they’ll push against each other, inevitably causing the collapse of it all.” He explained with his skull still resting on top of the table, clearly tired of this interaction.

There was silence as Ink took this in. Once the information finally seemed to sink in, he abruptly got up from the table and made it a whole two steps to the washroom before he puked.

There were multiple cries of disgust and outrage as Ink vomited his namesake onto the floor, not having been able to cope with the information that he should have been very aware of.

Ccino came over with a mop quickly after Ink began calming down, and offered a soothing pat on the back before guiding Ink back to the booth. He began cleaning up the mess before any of the cats got the idea of trying to lick it.

“Are you alright?” Nightmare asked, his ‘eyebrows’ scrunching in what could have been concern, confusion, or disgust.

A nervous laugh came from Ink before trailing off into silence.

“... You know what? Um, actually. No. Not really. I didn’t realize that it was even like that. Honestly, I didn’t think it was infinite, but I really didn’t think that it would collapse. I just thought that… I don’t know, that maybe any potential creations would just be put on a waitlist or something instead of entering the Multiverse.” Ink said very shakily and unsure. His eyelights were a purple broken heart and a blue inverted triangle.

“Don’t you ever feel extra lethargic at some points? Like you don’t want to move and if you do it almost hurts?” Error asked him, looking extremely unimpressed with the entire conversation so far.

“Well, yeah obviously. Those are the days when you have your mega destroying sprees. I always feel bad because I’m way too tired to even try stopping you.” He replied, ashamed with this admittance.

“You do know that you don’t feel like that because I’m destroying, right? You feel like that because the Multiverse is too full at that time. Making you that exhausted is its way of coping with the over-abundance of AUs by having its Protector too tired to do their job. By not allowing you to protect, it lets me destroy a shit-ton of those anomalies.” Error said as he tried getting his point across.

Dream had taken to fiddling with the napkins again and Nightmare was gazing around at the other customers, taking in their various emotions.

“Wait hold up, so you’re actively destroying when you feel that tired? Wow ok I definitely underestimated yo-”

Error groaned as he cut him off, “No, you fucking moron. I don’t get tired when it’s too full, that would be stupid. I get tired when it’s too empty. It sucks because trust me, I’ve tried working through it. I’ve tried to destroy those stupid glitches even though I’m exhausted.” A sharp laugh, “I’ve only gotten to that point once though, and it really sucked. I eventually got so tired that even just moving my phalanges caused me to crash. Yeah… that sucked big time.”

“Anyways, for the sake of this whole…” A dismissive wave of his hand, “Truce thing. You should avoid encouraging the Creators to create when it’s verging towards full, and I’ll try and keep it balanced instead of on the emptier side like I usually do.” Error said quickly before falling quiet to pick up his drink.

The four were silent for a while, taking some time to enjoy their cooled beverages and cookies.

Finally, it was Dream to break the silence, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but do you forget things like that oft-”

Error let out a sharp laugh before saying, “I am not talking about this with you. Not now, and likely not ever.”

Silence again.

It was Dream again to speak first saying, “Alrighty then... Well, brother, I’m sure that you’re aware of our balance to maintain and that you've purposefully spread Negativity despite that?”

Nightmare looked away sharply before slightly nodding.

A soft sigh, then, “Ok well, would you be open to maybe… not doing that? I understand that you believe that there should be a surplus of Negativity, but there really shouldn’t b-”

“Yeah, I mean think of when all the apples corrupted! All the villagers got way pissier than normal because of the surplus of Negativity in the AU!” Ink exclaimed, proud of himself for this amazing and wonderful realization that he thought would be a great idea to say aloud.

Unsurprisingly, both Nightmare and Dream stiffened.

“Um, wait, should I have not said that? I feel like I shouldn’t have said that…” Ink said, trailing off nervously and looking between the twins with light blue question mark eyelights.

“It’s fine, you’re correct in saying that. I hadn’t put the two together, but having it pointed out to me is… troubling. To say the least.” Nightmare said slowly, unsure of himself at this moment.

Nightmare took a deep breath and sighed, clearly not happy with what he was about to say.

“In my spare time, I’ve been keeping detailed reports on the emotional balances within the Universes. By doing so, I can track which ones are suitable for my Negativity intake and which ones need more of a… push. In the event of a truce, then I’ll only alter the Negativity cores… Oh, Ink, cores are the AUs made with a certain emotional trait as their primary factors, like Horrortale or Underfell for Negativity and Haventale or Underswap for Positivity.”

Ink gave a thumbs up in appreciation.

“As I was saying, I’ll refrain from touching the Positivity cores as much as I can and only alter them if the balances begin to tip.” A quick beat of contemplation on Nightmare’s part before continuing, “Actually, Dream. I believe that it would be wise regardless of a truce or not for you to make your own records as well.”

Dream startled, then said, “Oh, actually I have kept some… in a way. Not in the same way that you’re describing, but more so in that I was keeping track of which AUs you and your group attacked. It would let me know where I needed to visit to imbue more Positivity.”

“Is that what you’re always writing about whenever we get back from fighting?!” Ink exclaimed far too loudly, drawing the attention of the other patrons.

A sigh, then, “Yes, Ink. I’ve told you this before. Several times. Whenever you ask. Which is every time you see me writing them.”

“Oh.”

“Ughhh, I’m so bored. What would we get out of this if we agreed? Like yes. I know there are balances to be upheld but come onnnnn, we need some sort of incentive!” Error said out of nowhere, groaning loudly to convey his annoyance and boredom.

“More incentive than the Multiverse not collapsing??” Ink asked incredulously.

“Did I stutter?”

“Ughhhh, man I don’t know! Uhh, how about making me happy? That seems like a great reason!”

Error just squinted his eyes and shook his head in sheer confusion, “Why would I do anything for that sake? That’s so stupid.”

“If you agree to the truce, you’ll be able to destroy the crowding Universes without interference from Ink. You already understand that you’re physically incapable of destroying them all, so all you would need to agree to is to refrain from tipping the balance too far from the center. For the Universes that you do destroy, then I can assure you that neither Ink, Blue, or myself will try to stop you.” Dream cut in, a slightly exasperated look on his face.

Error seemed to contemplate this for a moment, but remained silent.

“As for you, brother, this truce will help keep your gang members safe from unnecessary harm. I know you put on the face of being uncaring and cold, but I see the way you act around and protect them. It will also give you more time to yourself.”

Nightmare refused to make eye contact with the other, staring down at the table and his tentacles curling behind him.

“Damn those sound way better than just making me happy.”

Dream groaned and put his head in his hands.

A deep sigh from Error, then, “Alright. I’ll accept this stupid ass truce.”

“As will I.” Nightmare grumbled, tentacles still curled tightly behind himself.

“But listen, the second Ink tries getting in my way again, it’s done. Also, if he’s ever annoying, I will kill him. Not that it makes a difference… soulless bastard just comes back.” Error said curtly and glaring at Ink.

In response, Ink just giggled and said, “Yup! That’s meee!”

“Alright, I suppose that’s fair. Just no unnecessary torture, if you’re going to kill him, get it over with quickly.” Dream said as he shook his head, never having expected to be condoning Ink’s death in this manner.

“A similar rule applies to you, Dream. If you interfere with my Negativity cores in any way, the truce is off. Just as you’re expected to follow these conditions, Error and I will uphold our end of the deal by refraining from tipping the balances unnecessarily.” Nightmare added, clearly unhappy with the whole ordeal, but accepting on behalf of some… external factors.

“Of course, I would expect nothing less.” Dream looked around the table, “So it’s agreed?” He asked, smiling softly.

Nightmare winced as his brother’s positive aura grew as the potential future where they could all get along seemed to be drawing nearer and nearer.

“Yup!”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

[aranarumei]

hi kiri is it cheating to give you both 15 and 19 for all works you feel you could answer this about . for the ask game

ask me questions from this list about my writing!

“all works” i have an insane amount of wips I could probably “feel” I could answer this about. will restrict myself to three main ones on account of choosing deliberate and practiced restraint. that’s still an Amount tho so under the cut as usual

15. in what ways are you challenging yourself with [project], and is there anything specific you want to come out of the work having improved skills in? on the other hand, which aspects are fully in your comfort zone?

projects, huh… let’s start with the sickfic I’m working on, because that’s the easiest. when I wrote the anomalous agate, that was a challenge in many ways: I hadn’t seriously written first person in years, and I was also trying to find a bridge between my style of writing, while also trying to emulate the general feeling of how the case files of jeweler richard is narrated. these days, I feel pretty satisfied with whatever kind of middle ground I achieved… I only regret that seigi doesn’t call richard some version of beautiful with nearly enough frequency as he does in canon.

this time around, the first person of it all is pretty comfortable for me, and I feel like I’m more comfortable with the fact that my narration doesn’t sound exactly like the novels. what I’m challenging myself with is… I’m pretty good at bashing out a solitary scene, but my completion rate for fics, and writing in general, is like… distressing. You don’t realize how untrained you are in terms of actually chaining together events and concluding things, until you realize that you’ve finished your first multichaptered fic in 2024. to be clear, I would say I’ve been writing seriously as a hobby for a bit over 10 years at this point. I also have not really written a sickfic before. so, even though this fic is shorter than the other two projects, it’s still a bit of a challenge for me to string together a chain of events that will lead into a satisfying conclusion. I also find that sickness is a thing that’s hard to describe in a way that doesn’t get stale.

nonetheless, I’m comfortable with a lot of this—I feel like I get both seigi and richard well enough to execute this, I actually did outline a chain of events, so I know where it starts and where it ends. I know the kind of themes I’m working with, and what I want to say within this fic. and I think I’m pretty damn good at creating an aura of tenderness and intimacy, which feels like a big sickfic thing. worst comes to worst, the first scene can stand on it’s own, so I’ll just post that if I really can’t write the rest.

outcome-wise, I'd like to just get this fic to a state where I can publish it and reread it happily. then I can finally read the next volume of the case files of jeweler richard lol

for cross-examination, my challenge is finishing the damn thing. that’ll be a theme for literally everything. I’m so bad at it, it’s catastrophic. I have an outline for the third chapter. I’ve had that outline for a year. I just can’t write it, somehow. it’s also written in present tense… I used to write in past tense, and then did present tense for a long time, and then I switched back into past tense, and this now means that I can have trouble sticking to a specific tense sometimes. so an issue is whenever I return to this fic, I have to try to get myself back into the swing of writing present tense.

other challenges… I kind of feel like I wrote this fic without really investigating the characters? like, I know them well enough, and I don’t think anything is necessarily wrong about my characterization, but I wasn’t building in-depth profiles about them in the way that I do with some characters now. really the toughest part of this fic is returning to something I feel like should have been completed a long time ago… I still have affection towards the concept, and the fact that there’s a full 3k written of the final chapter means I am dedicated to finishing it.

this comes up with the last fic, too, but this fic also has me have to outline progression in a relationship, from like… apollo and klavier at the end of aa4, into a place where they can actually be dating, and that took a bit of planning at first. it’s hard to find the line of how to pace things in a way where the growth feels real, and it feels like they get together naturally. there’s kind of two definitions of slow burn to me: one where they want each other desperately and the fic is just kind of edging that tension until it breaks, and one where it’s a gradual development and build up of feelings. I’m good with the first one, where there’s already a level of importance each person affords the other, and just no confession, but the latter is a bit harder. this fic acts as a kind of bridge between both, to me—apollo and klavier find each other quite meaningful, even at the start, but they aren’t really friends, and that’s what has to change.

as for what’s in my comfort zone… it’s a very peaceful and kind of gentle tone that the whole fic takes. I’ve been told I’m quite good at maintaining that kind of feeling, where it’s not like it’s saccharinely sweet, but nothing is particularly full of melodrama.

outcome-wise, I want to have it published and done so it doesn't haunt me. there's wips i feel more comfortable leaving behind (i'm just not that person anymore, it feels too flawed to fix) but this is not one of them. and I get out of it another longfic completed, which hopefully trains my skills of like... progression and development.

now, for my jiang cheng fic project (wip title is just aromanticism bc it makes me smile), which I talk about and have complained about for forever… I’ve been working on this fic for so long it’s like… what am I not doing with this fic? seriously, this idea originated in 2021, and like… I work on it on and off, sure, so it’s not like continuous work, but at the very least it’s occupied a good deal of my mind for the last year. I’ve had to rewrite so damn much of it, too…

like cross-examination, this fic tests my ability to write and complete longfic—that meaning, can I string together coherent themes across a large number of scenes? can relationships develop and progress naturally? it centers on jiang cheng and hua cheng, and I’ve tasked myself with taking two strangers into the realm of deep, important friendship. and I want to do all of that while addressing a lot of different resentments that I think jiang cheng feels, and addressing the idea of resentment in general… the value I see in it, and the things I feel that aren’t so great.

It’s very tough because I also haven’t written a fic for the mdzs fandom, well… ever, and I read it the one time like, back in early 2019, and I’ve seen maybe 10 episodes of the show. I think a lot of times, I get too in my head about how my fic interacts with or differs from common sentiments about the characters I’m writing, which is why I don’t read fic for this fandom or interact with that much content nowadays. It’s a really tough fic because I want to do a lot with it, and despite the fact that I’ve had to rewrite a bunch of scenes and scrap some of them entirely (like, at least a good 10k of it’s been deleted… I couldn’t give an exact count as I don’t save that stuff), I can feel myself improving.

The narration for this fic is markedly different—there’s a certain amount of formality/poise I try to imbue the writing with. and I’m trying to see if I can associate certain vibes/descriptors with specific characters, though I haven’t quite worked on that yet. I also push myself into leaving things to be more ambiguous… to let characters be awkward and uncomfortable, and in this case, to write outright conflict. I rarely do this—my fics usually work on tension, but don’t escalate into actual fights. this does. there’s also a lot of worldbuilding involved… I’ve made 4 OCs just for this fic, and not all of them are that important, but there’s just… so much backstory and stuff that I’ve developed and don’t know if it will actually make it into the fic. But it makes everything feel richer, and I’m glad for it.

so, if i had to sum up my challenges, it's probably that it takes quite a bit of detailing and hard work, and I'm not used to sticking through a project so demanding. I think because the fic requires so much, it's also something that needs me to be fully and totally confident in what I'm presenting, and that's something I'm struggling with.

as for what is in my comfort zone, I suppose that even though the description style I’m going with is new, it’s not too demanding, and I always feel comfortable when I write hua cheng. Unlike jiang cheng, who I constantly am debating with myself about (is he canon-accurate? am I projecting too hard? am I representing him as too much of a good guy? does that matter?), hua cheng is a character where I’m like, “nah, I like my interpretation of him fine,” and I just have such a blast writing his dialogue.

outcome-wise, when this fic is published, I want to be proud of the work i did on, again, the progression and development of the themes and character relationships, and I also want to publish it with the intent of kind of never writing an mdzs fic again. I'll get out most, if not all of my feelings about this guy, and then i can just have that to point to.

19. what text/message have you sent about [project] which is most unhinged or incomprehensible out of context?

genuinely i dont send that many unhinged messages. like... i feel like i tend to explain my irritations pretty dryly, and also some of these projects are over years so i dont really have like. a collection of texts. the ones i have saved are usually a long series of texts where i hash out developments, because i need those for reference. so, nothing unhinged, but i thought this one was fun:

and here's a good display of what my texts actually look like:

it's very... rubber duck debugging? that's usually what i do when texting about my writing. i complain a lot and then have to explain what's so hard for me to do and i figure it out that way. that usually helps with outlining. with actual writing though.... thats a motivation / time management problem. i suck at those

edit: literally day i post this ask i get this text exchange:

[bluegarners]

Hi! I am so absolutely in love with your fics! Would you maybe wanna share some info about your most recent Dick Grayson WIP?

omg hello anon!!! thank you so much for liking my fics 😭💞🤍

it always means a lot when people take time out of their day to compliment my writing or just pop in the inbox to skjfhskjd or whatever else expresses joy for them! it takes awhile for me to write things, especially fics i want to have a certain impact, so i appreciate it so much when people also appreciate my work <333

and i'd love to share some more info about my most recent dick grayson wip!! unfortunately... i can't actually share much... IM SORRY!!

it is coming out soon, i think june 10th is the publication/release date, and the reason for that is that this wip is for the dick grayson big bang for 2023! it is my first ever participation in any kind of group collaboration for fics and art, and let me tell you, i've had an enormous amount of fun!! i got paired with the absolutely insanely talented @ikol-616 (art blog is: @magpie-murder) for this project, and im just!!!!! the art is absolutely breathtaking, ive been telling vali every other day how excited i am to show off its art because so much effort and beauty was put into it and AHHHHHHHHHH im just so excited and grateful i got to work with vali on this project

the fic i will be publishing is going to be released in chapters that follow along parts/arcs, and i'll be able to explain a bit more about that when chapter 1 goes up, but it's a kind of long journey that if i didnt have a deadline for, would be wayyyyy longer. along with some of the chapters, i have also been creating some webweaves to pair alongside them! im also uber ecstatic to share those too <33

overall, the barest and most simple synopsis of my fic that i can give is essentially this is my take on the "eldest daughter"/but actually more just "oldest sibling" trope that dick embodies sometimes, and how he handles that realization that, well, people are changing and he doesn't quite know how to process that

again, if i didnt have a deadline and was a bit more proactive on my writing schedule, this fic would easily be dozens and dozens of chapters long, but for now we're looking at somewhere close to 10 chapters, along with a part 2 that i have no idea when it will be released and is also not part of the DGBB23 collaboration

[maxdurden]

3, 5, 6, 7, 13, 17, 25, 26, 28, 30!!!!!!!!!! or as many as you want i just realized this is a lot of numbers!!!!!!!

3 Biggest self-insert OC?

definitely wes, it's not even a competition. sometimes self insert next gen au ocs for your favorite media can be something soo important to a teenager coping with untreated mental illness. but i also think i project at least a little onto every oc i make. i just think embuing the little guys that live in my head with a bit of my soul makes them more fun, sue me

5 What are some of your OCs biggest fears?

this is a hard question!! i think my ocs are consistently coping with the fear of being unlovable and alone. but also my ocs are very often super afraid of heights, which is definitely projection. wes is afraid of sharks and the ocean in general! that kid grew up near gotham harbor and you wouldn't trust large bodies of water if you'd grown up near that shit either!

6 Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

yeah! i have shelves full of ocs that i made in a blind haze and now they sit and collect dust in the broom closet of my mind. and honestly? who knows, but probably not. a bitch can barely write fanfic, not to mention a competent original story

7 What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

my favorite relationships are always familial!!! i fucking,,,, LOVE exploring family dynamics in fiction i'm so normal about it. it's why peisistratus has basically the same amount of interaction with his brothers as he does with telemachus in bbyhr (and i think i should get to count AT LEAST echephron as an oc because i showed that man more love that homer ever dreamed of). but!! i had a superhero oc named jaime and their relationship with their dad (xander) was really fun to mess around with! the aforementioned wes has relationships with a lot of canon characters and their relationship with dick is sooo fun to think about (good relationship dynamic to squirm to, even).

i also really like really close friendships! like the kind where two characters just exist as their entire messy selves around each other because they're so close that it doesn't matter. wes was good friends with the xander i mentioned earlier and their dynamic was Ride Or Die, but then when they fought they were absolutely brutal to each other. very sibling-like ig lol

13 Which story has the most lore?

LISTEN i also don't do lore because i'm not a nerd. but if i did lore, it'd be the story that wes comes from. it was technically a dc related universe? i think it could generously be called an au, but it got so out of hand we ended up calling it the councilverse. it had enough of its own lore to justify being a whole ass other world. there were gods and sirens that had insane and deep lore completely unrelated to dc comics. not to mention!!! all the backstory for all the characters (i could not come close to giving an exhaustive list of all the characters. by the end of it there were roughly three or four generations, and three alternate universes within this one overarching concept of the councilverse. she was,,,, messy)

17 What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

most common character dynamic has to be Messy Family Dynamics. from parental issues to weird estranged siblings vibes, i simply cannot be stopped. swallows in the windless field is playing up the menoetius and patroclus drama, and braved by your hearts resolve is just a love letter to daddy issues lmao. i think i'm a big fan of slowburn tropes like yearning and obliviousness. and the power of friendship? is a trope you'll have to pry from my cold dead hands

25 What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read?

lately i've been REALLY into writing historical fiction. i've enjoyed all the research i've gotten to do for bbyhr. but i also enjoy writing fantasy stuff maybe more! fantasy is by far my favorite thing to read, but i can be picky about historical fiction stuff. i also really like reading superhero stuff, but writing it makes me nervous (i do it for myself but idk that i'd ever publish it for fear of it not being that good and also for fear of dc comics fans [source: i am one and they are scary])

26 What are your favourite books?

i mean,,, i OBVIOUSLY have an unhealthy fixation on the odyssey and the iliad. so, ya know. we are the ants is a book that had a huge impact on me when it came out, it's kinda sci-fi ish but very fun! and i do, i think technically, have to give credit to the song of achilles and circe for being as formative as they were.

i've also been reading A LOT of comics lately because i realized you can get that shit for free on the internet (pls pls pls don't ask why it took 20+ years for me to figure this out i'm just an incredibly lil guy with not a very big brain). so i've recently revisited the red hood and arsenal run that rewrote my brain chemistry as a teenager. but also favorite comics could be a whole other conversation so maybe i should stop there lmao

28 Favourite songs at the moment?

ahh!! i have so many. i've been listening to a LOT of phoebe bridgers and boygenius. so smoke signals and icu are probably two songs that i spend the most time listening to rn.

but also! against the kitchen floor by will wood (i can finally listen to songs OTHER than this one now, though, which is great)

nightstand by dev lemons!! is really good

body to flame by lucy dacus

and!! the kingdom is within you by gang of youths (fun fact: listening to the gang of youths album angel in realtime. and day dreaming about fridging batman for the sake of drama between the robins is a very good pastime)

30 How are you doing? <3

i'm doing good! my birthday was yesterday :3 so that's neat. i am in desperate need of motivation to write (and a cure for the temptation to write jayroy fanfic)

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

I don't know how you and other multiple fandom writers do it. I struggle staying on top of one project in one fandom before another idea hits me for another project in that same fandom. Now lately I've been thinking about writing for another fandom but I won't let myself because I have too many WiPs.

So major kudos to you for being able to stay on top of it all!!

The real truth is we do all of that too! I have an INSANE amount of WIPs. I have a crazy big backlog (taking advantage of when I had time to write for the times I don't). I'm often juggling multiple things at once (Thunder In Our Hearts and my novel at the moment).

Everyone does it differently but organization is key when you got so many things going on at once! When you figure out what works best for you, stick with it and let it evolve over time.

I think you absolutely should expand your writing no matter how many WIPs you have going on! This is not your job, it's fun! If you want to try something different I say go for it!

[winterandwords]

Camp NaNoWriMo, April 2022

And so it begins! Tomorrow. So it begins tomorrow.

My word count goal is mostly irrelevant. I know a lot of people use NaNo events to try and write a whole fuckload of words as a challenge to see if they can do it. I know I can do it. I've done it a bunch of times. It was great because give me arbitrary deadlines or give me death, but the challenge I'm looking for these days is less "Can I do this insane amount of work in a short space of time?" and more "Can I enjoy this process without putting unnecessary pressure on myself?"

Thing is, there's a deep magnetism to the first one. You would not believe the amount of validation I get from fucking myself up to hit a target. I've drafted full novels in somewhere between two and three weeks before. I'm absolutely in my element having a justification for horrendous sleep hygiene and eating one meal a day while staring at a screen and pretending reality doesn't exist.

I completely fucking SUCK at doing things slowly and without the motivation of a(n ultimately meaningless) goal. I've been trying to lean into that process over the last year and a bit, and I'm getting better (yes I am totally turning chilling out and not setting goals into a goal that I have to achieve I KNOW SHUT UP) but I still crave the self-destructive obsession thing. Which is stupid. Because my body can't take that. I'm not going to bore you with all the bullshit about my health, but disability and serious chronic illness etc, so going hell for leather at anything is not a good idea.

My actual goal for this Camp is to enjoy obsessing (in a nice healthy way) over Project Frequency. Writing most days, probably. Seeing where the story takes me and what the made-up people in my head tell me they want to do next. Discovery drafting is a trip.

I chose 15k words for the goal because this WIP is at about 42k so far, which I've written casually over the last three months while doing a LOT of other things. So I figured in a month where I'm actively choosing to focus on writing this one WIP, with everything else just ticking over, 15k words is probably the lower end of an amount I'd write for fun and without a huge amount of effort.

I'm hyped about it. I love NaNo events and haven't taken part in one since last July because I didn't have a WIP in a place that it made sense for. I live for Big Project Energy and I will 100% excite with you about your WIPs and goals and all that good stuff.

So let me know if you're doing Camp NaNo. Reply to this or send me a message or an Ask or whatever. I'd love to hear about what you're writing.

[chitsangenthusiast]

kath bb i love hearing about other people's writing processes and i am always impressed by writers who have the confidence to let the first draft be shitty. that takes a certain amount of humility and confidence!

(also, same hat: i love a good word graveyard of discarded lines. one story's trash is another story's treasure)

but also 👀 will you say more about scrivener 👀 i've been meaning to look into it because i'm getting fed up bouncing between six different tabs of google docs and two word docs because i am a messy drafter with no organization skills and was wondering what your relationship with scrivener is like

SCRIVENER MY BELOVEDDDDDD 🧡🧡🧡

i got introduced to it one? two? years ago and literally it is The Reason why i picked writing back up. it's basically the electronic version of having a three-ring project binder lol

you can have folders to keep all your drafts for a wip in one place! you have a notes section, dedicated outlining space, and a corkboard! you can edit with comments like on gdoc, insert photos/citations/links/tables/etc! it's GREAT

(tbh i don't even use all the features bc i write like. shorter fanfics vs manuscripts or anything Big, but scrivener is adaptable for any kind of writing, fiction or non-fiction!)

it is definitely daunting/a lot to learn it at first tho. you're gonna start it up and be like 'holy shit' because of how much you can do with it, BUT imo once you get your bearings it's insanely easy to navigate. also you can customize basically everything lol this is what mine looks like:

left: binder part! menu that shows all of my fic wips/drafts. i love having this bc i can see everything at once, and makes it way easier to switch between wips if i suddenly decide to work on smth else

middle: writing space. everything re: font, spacing, background color, and border white space size can be customized!

right: notes section my love <33 there's other things that can be displayed here, but i rely on being able to write+reference parts of my outline/other thoughts/'words to check' here, so find this to be extremely useful. it's like my scrap paper lol

some potential cons/things to note:

their dictionary doesn't always recognize words that are definitely real, so you'll have to save them

imo their synonyms offerings are fairly lackluster, but i rely mostly on wordhippo anyway so that isn't an issue for me

reasons why i final review in word: scrivener can miss some grammar mistakes, and also the their formatting doesn't stick when copying content to ao3 lol

it does cost money ($50) but there is a free trial that gives you 30 days of use! as in, it will only count the days you use it and not 30 consecutive days which i thought was p cool!

but yes: i love scrivener so much lol literally the best thing i've ever used for writing <333333

[tharedfish113]

This an AU that im never going to write but im doing it here because, well, its my page.

Baku nerd and jock shima AU

Baku is waking down the halls of the school minding his own buisness, scowl on his face ready to yell at anyone who dares to aproach him.

He is thinking, about the exams and his new schedule of study annd how its going to affect his work out regimen, he could sacrifice the time he takes to go to the local market to buy new stuff but if he did that he wouldnt the food for his lunch, and he loves making his own lunch, maybe he he-

BAMB

He now is on the floor with a bloddy nose.

Wtf happened? How did he go from waking calmly to being in pain on his butt? Looking at his front, there is a basketball rolling around. Uh so that happened.

Standing up with ball in hand, his eyes were looking for the idiot who dared to hit him in the Middle of the hallway.

—Im so sorry dude!!

Found him.

Running towards him was a Young male with a bunch of muscles and insane teeth that would scare any children. A scar in the eye and hair that begged for attetion, bright red hair.

Oh no, it was the famous coreback. Kirishima ejirou.

—its what ever,- he said while throwing the ball towards the player who catched perfectly, wipping the blood on his nose and going another direction— just fucking, be careful next time idiot.

—wha- Dude!! Let me take you to the nurse!! Omg your bleeding, im so so sorry- his hand on bakugous shoulders was slapped.

—DONT... Touch me... Shitty hair, just go play or what ever

—But-

—I mean it, go away

—but-

Speeding away, he didnt managed to hear whatever halfassed apology he throwed and he didnt need to hear it, he didnt wanted to.

Staying away from the jocks was his plan for this final year and he was going to keep it that way.

De todas formas, they didnt know each other and didnt even interacted, yeah, they shared some clases but its not like they were friends or anything, he was just another face in the room and he prefered being forgotten by annoying people.

But its not fair and Kiri kept trying talking to him like they were all buddy buddy. A week ago, they would have bumped on each other in the hallway and there would be no interactions other than a mumbled sorry, but noooooo, now that stupid read head was searching for him specifically in the halls, in the school project, fuck even at lunch!

Which bring us to here, in the cafetería using open books to hide his face from over grown energetic puppies.

—kaachan of the Bakugous!!!!

It wasnt very effective.

—fucking, keep quiet and sit you dunce face!!

The bright blonde followed the instruction being used to bakugou manners, in fact he founded his hate for the World and colour full language hilarious, making the sudden declaration of being best friends with the angry gremlin.

–so, still hiding from kirishima uh?

—fucking! Im not hiding, Im just... Studying

—right, which is why you have all this books towering in front of your face? They are open at random pages dude

—shut up.

Kaminari sighed, while scratching his head.

—I dont get it dude, whats the big deal? He only wants to apologize which its fair, maybe he'll leave you alone after all that.

Bakugou huffed. This idiot didnt get it.

—he is not going to leave alone shit head! I know his type! He likes to talk, he wants to make friends, he sees someone alone on a table and his first instict is doing some company

—well.. Thats not bad

—it is!!! Because, some people dont like shitty small talk, some people hate other people, some people like silence and being alone!!! Im sure im going to lose all that if i let him speak to me on a regular basis.

—but... Dude.. I do that

—exactly!

—owww come on kachaan.

—no! You dont get it, I can only aguantar a certain amount of stupidity each day, and you fulfill the quote. Your my only idiot and thats it!

—I mean, I know you just insulted me, but that was sweet bro! Im your only idiot! Aww.

—fucking, dont let it get in your head idiot! I still hate you.

[quidfree]

I've started writing but I feel so slow I feel like I have to finish one chapter for a story before start anything else or it will never get done.

When you write do you have 1 story that you write until you finish the chapter and move on to another story then write a chapter and so on, or do you go back and fourth between different story chapters simultaneously? When you first started writing did you always do it the way you do now? If you're comfortable to say, how many writing projects do you have going on at once?

Sorry that's a lot of questions.

♥

anon this is a very good ask and i am sort of the right person to send it to because in fact i am much like you!

to delight and horrify the audience: i currently have (no joke) literally 8 wips going at once, all being written with no particular order of writing. which is kind of insane, i acknowledge. even so, i do understand your stress entirely, because i also feel a lot of pressure (from myself mind you) to keep my posting balanced and fair somehow. so how do i survive this precarious state of being?

to be honest, having thought about your specific situation, i would say the solution i’ve landed on is only ever having (1) big multichapter fic i’m uploading at once. that way, all of the other fics i’m writing can be continued and uploaded on my time since they’re not awaiting updates. i jump between wips constantly whenever inspiration strikes, but this way it’s likely that i’ll have a next chapter out for the big fic at a roughly reasonable pace even if i do upload some one-shot i’ve also been working on on the side. some one-shots get so long they become multi-chapter anyways, but since they’re complete by that point there’s no stress involved in posting the next chapter. does that make sense?

i don’t know how helpful that is to you since by the sounds of it you write several multichapters concurrently, but my advice would definitely be to select a ‘main’ multichapter fic and wait until you complete it until you start on the next one, so that you only post your other stuff once you’re done with them anyways and the process isn’t so arduous. of course this has its own downsides- while i write monstrous amounts, i don’t have one of those super consistent weekly upload schedules because so much of my work has to be complete before i post it- but it’s worked for me so far.

[murfeelee]

End of Year Collage - Best of 2020

Rules: Find your fave pics of your story or your blog in general and post them up in a collage! :D it can be 1 picture or 100 whatever you want. But just reflect on your fave moments in your story or on your blog. It can be cute moments or pictures you’re just really proud of.

I did this last year and decided to make one for 2020, to celebrate simming, the one source of joy I got out of this crapfest of a year.

I used the TumblrTop10 generator for my top CC uploads, which naturally get more traffic than my gameplay pics & photosets.

But I like giving a top 10 for my gameplay pics too, looking back at all my fave fandoms I incorporated into The Sims 3 throughout the year.

MY THOUGHTS (for each month) under the cut:

January: Skryim Werewolves

AAAAWWWOOOO~!

February: Voodoo & Necromancy

My theme for February was Voodoo and Necromancy. The irony doesn’t escape me that I had my best creative boost (focused on morbid/macabre themes), right before the pandemic hit.

March-April: Roaring 3020s Gameplay!

These 2 months were all about my futuristic-Asian-scifi-artdeco/nouveau save in Oasis Landing, where I give the backstory of how Sakura and Ryuu first met. I always describe Sakura as a faery from the future, and this is what I mean by that; she’s a jet-setting time-traveler. Y’all seemed to really like my posts of Sakura this month, particularly her arrival in Oasis Landing in March, and her One Four All challenge in April. But by far the post that got the most attention were my WIPs of Hotel Luck at the end of April, the headquarters of Ryuu’s best friend Lucky’s club.

May: Green Isle, and Malec’s Wedding!

May was totally dominated by my run-through of @crowkeeperthesimmer ‘s Green Isle (Beta) world. But the most emotionally driven gameplay pics I posted this month were actually from my Shadowhunters saves, where I finally got around to recreating Malec’s wedding, which I posted on their 1st year anniversary. ^_^ *blasts Ruelle*

June: Rainbows! 🌈

I started the month still gushing about how pretty Green Isle is, which was great, cuz it was Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈 Because the events of Summer 2020 were downright disgusting, I had Bartros & Nagron, and Gwynburn & Malec do community work in honor of LGBT+ and Black Lives Matter solidarity.

July: Bleach Gameplay starts!

I have been dying to start sharing my Bleach inspired gameplay for months. Bleach is one of my Top 5 fave anime, quite possibly even Top 3 (it’s tied with Attack on Titan). So I tried my best to do the anime justice in TS3, giving me recreation of Episode 1, when Ichigo Kurosaki becomes a shinigami. I plan on doing A LOT more; it’s just gonna take awhile.  

August: Sakura & Ryuu in What? Magazine

Technically, my Sim Bin Collage Pt2 got the most notes this month, but that’s not really gameplay. Even though I posted a bunch of Dragon Age gameplay, people were far more interested in Sakura’s post, particularly my fake What Magazine post, where I trolled y’all with a tabloid spread of Sakura and Ryuu caught by the paps getting frisky in the park.

September: Dragon Retexture WIPs Pt2

According to the Chinese, 2020 is the Year of the Rat, but I was all the way in the Year of the Dragon, baby! #SquadGoals #BoyBandRealness (And I was back in Green Isle AGAIN, lol!)

October: Dragon Master

I love Simblreen, and the Halloween season; it always puts me in a creative mood. But the best inspiration I got this year was after my anime marathon binge of the Bleach spinoff, Burn the Witch, which gave me the idea to make dragons as functional magic broomsticks. I had the occult household from my Deathless gameplay test out all the CC I made for Simblreen. Everyone seemed to really like that, and I was so happy!

November: Shinto Shrine vs DA:I - Tevinter

Another classic example of the photosets I did the bare minimum on that get like twice the amount of notes as posts I’m insanely proud of. XD

I try to upload CC at least once a month, but I’ve had such low motivation this year that come November I was scrambling trying to think of something to make. Then TS4′s Snowy Escape EP came out and I was like BINGO. So I did all of that in a few days, really quickly, and cracked open my Moon Medicine save to test the CC & take pics. No big.

But I’ve been working hard on my Dragon Age INSP gameplay & pics for well over a YEAR, and I had been so excited to start posting my Tevinter gameplay with Dorian Pavus. That Blood Magic post got far less traction, but that’s like the best photoset I think I made all year. Crazy how Tumblr works. :\

December: A Bunch of Stuff Happened, Holy Cow!

First there was the Pinterest Challenge, which y’all really seemed to like. Then I did another installment of BrennaIvy’s Modern Male Project (which got the most notes for December). Then I did Magnus Bane’s birthday post for the Shadowhunters fandom, which is usually one of my more popular posts. But then I posted my WIPs of my Maximalism set, and y’all really REALLY liked that one, so basically I was so so happy this December! :D

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Thank you everybody, followers, mutuals, lurkers, and all simmers who continue to support me and The Sims 3, and like my content!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

[grayintogreen]

I was not technically tagged, but at least two people on my dash were like DO WHAT YOU WANT NO ONE IS YOUR GOD, and you know what? They’re right and valid. 

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

96! And 90% of them are from just this year. Can’t wait to find out what the big 100 is gonna be. Any one of my WIPS could be Disney’s next 100th fic.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

455,024 (also mostly from this year...)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In my entire life??? Since I was twelve??? I don’t even know, man. I wrote a lot of ooc crackfic and fic for cartoons when I was on FF.net, and then I was on LJ and wrote for a TON of different fandoms, but on AO3, I have written for Critical Role (so much CR), Yashahime/Inuyasha, Guardians of the Galaxy, His Dark Materials (TV), Steven Universe, Bleach, Alias, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies (the last four were all transferred here from LJ, though)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- turning wine back into water (Critical Role, de-aging fic with plot, 30457 words)

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THIS FIC IS. It beat out two of my super popular GotG fics that have been up since 2017 BY A LOT. Apparently, there was a market for the Mighty Nein being adorable cocktail brats and saving the world. Thanks, Liam’s Quest!

It is probably one of the most wholesome fics I will ever write too. I love it.

- Sunshine Came Softly (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Mantis friendship, 3188 words)

THIS FIC STILL GETS HITS EVEN TODAY. It was written right after I saw the movie so it hit hard and fast on the hype train. 

- Mine Is Just a Slower Sacrifice (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket-centric, 2248 words)

BOY YOU CAN TELL THESE FICS ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE I HADN’T DEVELOPED MY TITLE NICHE YET. where are the lower caps and Seanan McGuire lyrics!!

Anyway, this was written probably IMMEDIATELY after I saw the movie and had to process Rocket’s emotions during the last moments, because of who I am as a person. For what’s mostly a character study, it got some mileage on it.

- they drink dreamers up like brandy (Critical Role, 1625 words)

Back to Critical Role! I wrote this one when I was in a fucking blind post-finale haze and producing massive amounts of Kingsley content and I wanted to write a silly fic about Caleb being tiefling catnip. 

- if adversity breeds character (we’ve character enough for two) (Critical Role, Beau and Molly-centric, 1824 words)

I feel like most of my most kudos-ed CR fics are Beau-related, which is funny because I never really wrote her EVER. I guess I need to write her more often. ANYWAY, this one got jossed immediately after 141, but I needed to write Beau and Molly bantering and I couldn’t get her flipping him off after revealing her card is Rumor out of my head.

(Incidentally my sixth most kudos-ed fic is my Fjorester next gen fic, WHICH I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL. IT’S A FIC BASED ON MY OC FANCHILDREN!! I’M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!!)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually!! There are times when I forget and then it’s been so long that I never go back, but I like responding to comments. They make me so happy and I want to make sure the people who take the time to comment know that I see them and appreciate them. Especially if they give me long comments. You long commenters know who you are and I value you and also flail incoherently in your direction.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, probably this church takes no conversions simply because, like, the whole ending scenes are MISERABLE AND FULL OF ANGST and then it has the hopeful ending that is actually a bullshit lie.

But second place probably goes to what couldn’t i offer, what couldn’t i give, which is just misery porn in disguise as a character study. Sorry, Cree.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, so back in the day when I was a tineh fanbrat I wrote a lot of self-indulgent crossovers featuring my friends and I in true Mary Sue format being ~saviors of the world~ alongside our favorite fictional characters and after I grew out of that, I very rarely did it again, because as someone who can only write AUs if they’re high concept and can only write crossovers if the canon welding is pristine, it’s difficult.

I have ideas for some! I just haven’t written them yet. Or they’re sitting in Google Docs partially written.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, which is insane, because I’ve written some things in my youth that deserved it, but also I was a kid, so maybe I definitely did not deserve it. Don’t send hate to kids!!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

The first smut I ever posted on AO3 involved some fucking American Gods flesh horror shit, so that answers your second question.

Basically, yes, but I write smut to facilitate character development in a way that regular story beats can’t, mainly with characters who are in some way deeply fucked up and have unbalanced dynamics. 

So basically chances of me writing smut that isn’t Creecien or Lucigast? Very low. (I haven’t written Lucigast smut yet but I will. Inevitably.)

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone’s told me, but one time when I was a teenager someone ripped off an entire group messageboard RP I was in and tried to pass it off as a fic they wrote.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that anyone’s told me!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried and it did not work out, because of (non-wanky) reasons, but it’s just not something I’d be very good at. I was the kid who wanted to work alone on group projects. I’m bad at group work.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

That I’ve WRITTEN??? Because that at least narrows it down significantly. Sesshoumaru/Rin hands down. It’s a good dynamic and they’re fun and sad at the same time. 

My self-indulgent ass does also enjoy writing Creecien though. I’m putting it out there because I want it.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

GOD POOR SUPERNOVAS OF ALL SOUND AND LIGHT. THAT FIC COULD’VE BEEN A CONTENDER, but I unfortunately posted it RIGHT BEFORE the White Diamond episodes aired and it became so jossed by canon so fast that I gave up on life with chapter two half finished. I need to delete it but I can’t bring myself to bury my shame.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and meta-narrative and character-specific stuff. I go into every story with CHARACTER FIRST mentality, which is how I end up writing so many damn character studies or why my word counts explode. I’m just out here naval gazing because I love character stuff SO MUCH.

I’ve been told I’m good at fight/action scenes too, which... Shocks me, but I think watching and playing a lot of D&D stuff has really improved how I write fighting and action sequences.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

[whispers] too much naval gaze. dial it back, bitch. 

I get really caught up in character stuff and forget to do important things like ADVANCE THE SCENE OR DESCRIBE THE SCENE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. I also don’t think my prose is all that great, but I’m pretty sure every writer feels that imposter syndrome bullshit, so /waves hands. All I’m saying is I have seen some writers on AO3 who are writing some fucking vivid imagery and stringing flawless sentences together and weaving introspection and description together like beautiful baskets and they are stronger than any US Marine and I salute them and wish to be them.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Iiii try not to. There’s times where I want to throw in, like, a little Zemnian for Caleb flair, but I try to stick to things that are either untranslatable (like German compound words), common phrases (like please or come here), or insults/curses/ pet names. Things that I don’t think Google will fucking lie to me about.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was a Sailor Moon crackfic about Haruka being forced to enter a beauty pageant which was just a blatant rip-off of Ms Congeniality and oh my god was it awful. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this church takes no conversions, probably BECAUSE it’s my little red-headed stepchild of a fic involving so many things that are just never going to make it popular (backstory fic, fic that is almost 85% headcanon, doesn’t involve popular characters, etc.), but godDAMMIT I love that fic so much. It was fun and I use every bit of that headcanon in almost everything like it’s my job.

shattered stage is a close second, because it was such a crazy concept for a fic that I PULLED OFF SOMEHOW and is this wonderful mix of crazy plot and character and lore and my three favorite tieflings having to work together. And also Jayne Merriweather as the main villain. 

A lot of love went into both of those fics and they are my babies. this time next year we’ll see if I add Creedemption and shoot at fate to this list- probably. All of my epic long fics resolve to be my babies because I spent so much time on them, and I have to love them and cherish them because I raised them into gigantic wordy attempts to write a doorstopper.

[lovesbitca8]

Reactions to the Final Chapter of The Auction (1/?)

@abitchytrashcan​ said: Thank you so much to the alphabet team and you for creating this beautiful masterpiece, You somehow managed to make me cry while I was reading the ending. You broke my heart into pieces and somehow managed to fix it in record time, A perfect end to a painfully beautiful story, I shall now reread and go back to the canon of TRRTD and ATWT to cope with this empty hole where my heart should be. 👏👏👏

Anonymous said: First of all: Congrats on finishing the wonderful piece of art that is TA!!!! But Juls. How. could. you. do. this. I neeeeeed to know what is going to happen nooooooow?? Are they siblings? Is this magical incest now? Will that stop them? Will Panville happen in this universe? Gaaah! Even if those questions will never be answered - thank you again for sharing this with us. I feel truly blessed.

Anonymous said: I have no words. I really cannot thank you for your brilliance enough. I have been on such a journey with this story for over a year and you have truly ruined me forever in the best ways possible. That said, how could you not give us the reunion sex and Hermione saying I love you!?!??!!!?!?!? (I’m joking but also heartbroken) 💔💔😰😭😭😭😳🤯😠🥺🥺🥺🥺 hoping that appears in all right at some point but still thank you always I will be returning to this fic for years to come 🧡

Anonymous said: You legitimately changed my life with this story. Not me being able to HEAR Draco’s commentary in my head at the very end because you allowed us to know your Draco so personal in all the wrong things. Girl I know he was thinking look at me. 🤭 I am blown away my brain will be repeating this ending for days on end. I will probably reread the entire SERIES this week even though it’s my college finals and I am already suffering. At least let my heart and soul suffer too

Anonymous said: I’ve been reading you’re “Rights and Wrongs” series on ao3 and all I can think about is how much I would love a Hogwarts Era addition. Anything Hogwarts Era—an altered house or an earlier Dramione or even a no Voldemort AU. I’m just so in love with you’re characterization and your dialogue and really just your writing in general! Hope you’re well!!

I’ve written some Hogwarts Era fics (you can find them on my Ao3), but I won’t be doing anything specifically from the Rights and Wrongs universe in a Hogwarts Era AU. <3

Anonymous said: I never want to come across as the demanding or entitled reader forcing you to do anything bc I am genuinely so appreciated that you share any of your writing with us at all. I would literally pay you to write an epilogue or another chapter either in the auction or as part of all right bc I cannot survive without knowing where Draco has been and what he’s been up to, Hermione finally being able to tell him she loves him in person, and that reunion sex BOTH the night before he goes to Azkaban and immediately when he gets out LMAO. I’m sorry as much as I love Draco, YOU, JULES, HAVE BEWITCHED ME BODY AND SOUL AND HEART AND MIND AND I’m permanently incapable of recovering from this 🧡

Anonymous said: Will we get to know what Draco was up to when he was away? Also, I died a little after the grand finale of the auction. Thank you so much for everything and I love you so much.

Lol just kidding. No further stories/epilogues are planned. The story ends there with the intention that the timelines converge with The Right Thing To Do. The HEA is implied. We talked in more depth about where Draco was on the podcast, but essentially he was at an uncharted Malfoy estate with Kreacher. 

Anonymous said: SPOILER WARNING HELLO please..... my soft little heart at the nod to pansy x neville....... i literally teared up i adore them so 😭😭😭 the ending trials were wonderful and sad in all the right ways, you’re brilliant at writing tension! and the bittersweet moment with ron, ugh, perfect. the end of an era!! i almost don’t want it to be so!!!

user062900 said: I’m crying I’m actually crying what a journey wow. I just have no words I’m i just it’s so beautifully written and perfect. Thank you so much for writing the series it gave me an insane amount of joy to look forward to every chapter❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: I can't believe that the Auction is over. I started to read it after you updated to chapter 19, first WIP I ever read, and I just finished chapter 41. Your writing is utterly gorgeous and I 'm so happy I competed to reading literally all of your writing. The last chapter was like a punch in the gut, in the best way. There was a happy ending without any sacrifices of plot or character development. But I still really want to know what Draco was up to in his boxers, and where he got his clothes.

Anonymous said: I've finished reading TA (beautiful btw 100/10) & decided to spend the whole night catching up on TRTTD & the pinning - ugh ✨immaculate✨ i love the way you write draco love for hermione & vice versa, to be willing to sacrifice everything for a person without expecting ANYTHING in return nor knowing if the feelings are mutual but that doesn't matter b/c you love them so much.😭😭Sorry for the long ask but TA & TRTTD had me on an emotional rollercoaster that I had to show my love for them. I hope you're doing well!💖

docmartinis said: ahh the final chapter made me cry :( i loved it tho, amazing work !!

mxstyassasxin said: Ahskfhagafskdhshk!!!!!!! I LOVED IT! Thank you so so much for writing such brilliance. The links with TRTTD were perfect 💖 I'm so damn happy right now!!

Anonymous said: I’M CRYING!!!! That ending killed me. This story will haunt me for years

Anonymous said: I love that you had it end at Cornerstone. The dance allusion. Full circle indeed. I am speechless.

puresteph said: Just want to say, I loved the ending! You all did fabulous and although I will miss it, I hope you all have a lovely rest, drink some beverage of your preference, your world has been a big part of my 2020 and has been there when I truly needed it. I will be forever grateful to you for that. I’m totally doing a reread in the New Year! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 💚

Anonymous said: The ending was beautiful. I was at the edge of my seat waiting for when they would be reunited and it was perfect. The threads and knots that you have woven through the entire universe all met up at a single place. It was fitting in a way of taking a breathe and releasing it! This entire project was filled with soo much noise that the quietness of the ending is truly fitting. It’s like when the background music of a movie quiets out slowly after being loud throughout the whole movie.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

WIP Wednesday - “Someplace You Belong”

Wow so Aziraphale clearly has the best home and I want to move in there. I bet he wouldn’t even notice, he’s super distracted with Crowley these days, right?

So I’ve already mentioned my newest fic, “Someplace You Belong.” I have mentioned it’s a sequel to the bookshop deleted scene. And I’ve talked about how it was inspired by the line of description, with Aziraphale being “as content as it is possible for him to be.”

When I read the bookshop scene, I just immediately needed to write something to process the many feels it gave me. I had already written two Crowley-centric stories from this approximate time period (this Saturday’s “Three Little Words,” set in 1849, and next week’s “In Love With My Car,” set in 1933), and I’d wanted to include a story with Aziraphale from around this time, too. My first idea was a story set in 1967 about his feelings before giving Crowley the holy water. I’m still going to write that one, but turns out HE HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS and I’m not ready to tackle that one quite yet.

Soon.

There’s other possibilities, including something set closer to the church scene, something right after the fight itself, or something in the interim. Also there’s the option for Crowley-centered stories at each of those points as well...

What I’m getting at is, there’s probably going to be another series of stories down the line where I look more directly at the Argument, whereas this set of three is more tangentially around it.

Fortunately, I read the book shop scene, and immediately had lots of ideas!

Unfortunately, this scene came with a couple of big surprises.

First surprise: Crowley showing up with pastry. In the deleted scene he has chocolates, although someone pointed out hard chocolates wouldn’t be available for a few more decades, and much as I could see Crowley convincing some German confectioner to create a never-before-seen sweet for Aziraphale, I also wanted something more period appropriate.

Cue two or three weeks of insane research into Regency Era pastry recipes desperately trying to describe the flavor some mille-feuille because, damnit, the version that existed in 1800 isn’t the version we eat today and that would be like 15 years out of date, and it says icing but not what kind of icing and my God I’ve never been so consumed by a research project!

(If you’ve read the story, y’all now have some inkling of the amount of work that went into those, not even joking, five sentences.)

Second surprise: I expected Aziraphale to talk about his sense of connection to the bookshop, and instead he starts talking about the War! This was a pleasant surprise, because it had been over a month since I’d written “Obedience” and I was ready to revisit his backstory, this time touching on some themes of identity. But I had to kind of pull things around a lot to get us back to Aziraphale feeling like he belongs in the shop. I think it worked out in the end, though I did have to drop one or two details about the shop itself that I’m not sure where to weave in now!

Third surprise: Aziraphale starts talking about his old friends by name. That shouldn’t have been a problem, as I’d written down some backstory notes on them ages ago, but turns out they needed some personality, too, just enough to make the scene work. So I did a lot of research into angels - looking for angels with appropriate specializations, replacing almost every name from the original list in an attempt to strengthen the knowledge connection, even adding some notes on their appearance as needed. Again, a ton of research for just a couple of sentences, but honestly, when I read that part of the flashback it’s a real punch in the gut to me. Now these aren’t just names in a book, they’re characters I know.

Fourth surprise: once I realized I was apparently writing a hurt/comfort, my brain panicked and I forgot how to do the comfort side. Or, more accurately, I couldn’t find anything Crowley could say that would be real comfort given how much Aziraphale had lost - especially given that Crowley only knows part of the story. Aziraphale kept all the most painful parts to himself. And so I could only have Crowley offer a partial comfort, and Aziraphale partially comfort himself, and leave you all with the hope that some time after the Apocalypse, they would finally, really talk about this. (I’m now starting to think of the whole of “Sawdust of Words” as a 6,000 year slow burn hurt/comfort, with me writing all the hurt stories now and just REALLY PROMISING we’re going to get to comfort some day.)

Fifth surprise: all through the first draft, the thing that bugged me was, what does Aziraphale think their relationship is right now? I mean, the Angel has many layers of denial going on, but what was the story he told himself? When the answer hit me, it hit really hard and I had to sit an process it for a bit. I don’t spell all of it out explicitly in the story (I did, but then deleted that line), but you can at least get part of it: that Aziraphale knows what their relationship looks like, but he doesn’t think it’s real.

It’s an elaborate act they go through - Aziraphale gets to pretend he has companionship after being denied it for thousands of years and Crowley, well, if you look closely there’s a few hints what Aziraphale thinks Crowley gets out of the relationship. (While you’re at it, try to spot how many times Crowley attemtps to say ‘I like being around you, you’re genuinely my friend, please don’t feel lonely, I love you’ but something else comes out instead.)

Wow this is a lot of surprises.  And there was one more.

Sixth surprise: there was actually supposed to be a long story (probably another 5-chapter story) before this set of 3 shorts. But I wasn’t ready to write it. So I started writing a different long story. That one got way out of hand with some deeper Crowley characterization stuff, and I can’t finish it. So these stories got bumped way up. The only real issue was it put the two Aziraphale backstory fics back-to-back, but now Crowley feels a little neglected.

Don’t worry. So much Crowley coming up in the next stories you may be sick of him. I’ve been using him as an emotional pinata, sorry not sorry. :p

(Also I’m tired and I think I just cracked a scene I was stuck on so I’m just gonna toss this into the void without even spellchecking so I can get back to that. I’m living on the edge!!)

[yoikami]

Get to know me tag~

Thank you @mochi-moss for tagging me~ I appreciate a lot!!

✦nickname? I have a very short name irl so online I get nicknamed Yoi or Ya (from Yayoi, ikr, one or the other, pick your poison).

✦gender? Female, on top of that I love cute things and dresses, I'm quite the girly/flowery/pastely gay potato...

✦star sign? A libra, I may be a witch I have no big interest in star signs ;;;

✦height? Very smol. Most people will tell you they're so small but ahahaha ...cute, I'm more or less 146cm, to give you an idea. The world is so big from my point of view.

✦hogwarts house? I always get Ravenclaw which is just fitting I'd say.

✦favourite animal? Fox!! I love foxes to death and I think they are adorable. I am actually kind of an animal lover anyway, I even try to never kill insects (except for giant hornets killing my bees, f these).

✦favourite colour? Purple and every kind of blues~

✦current favourite song? Chouwa Oto by Kokia <3 I just love mystical songs the best...just like Ar Tonelico's soundtracks or Sound Horizon, Yuki Kajiura's...

✦favourite ways to get creative? Tumblr has honestly became a good source for me to find inspirations from others. Even pretty landscapes put me in the mood for sewing or decorating etc. I also feel motivated whenever I see pictures of people's sewing projects or wips. (I sew plushies and doll clothing).

✦what do you do when you’re alone? Video games all the way, I also like baking, gardening, sewing, listening to music in my garden with my pets, even singing!! I can get creative with my hobbies and might have too many.

✦average hours of sleep? I try my best. 7-8 but with chronic illness every night is going to be a mystery.

✦cats or dogs? Both... I could never chose between my children.

✦number of blankets you sleep with? If I can I have as many as possible, if it's not summer... Tons of stuffed animals, cushions and big blankets.

✦dream job? I don't know anymore ;_; I do dream of reaching a high level in sewing and becoming a pro. My life took a drastic change 3 years ago and I originally planned to even be living in another country by myself but I had to change my mind and give up on some dreams which doesn't mean I can't have new ones!!

✦dream trip? I have yet to make a list since I already went to Japan and Canada and still want to visit them again because these countries are magnificient and like a second home for me now. I want to visit Ireland, Australia, Korea- Actually I'd like to visit as many places as possible ONLY IF they're peaceful enough for me to go to (Tokyo wasn't as draining and toxic as big cities of France where everything gets overwhelming for people with anxiety and disabilities).

✦sexuality? I'm such a mess!! In short I don't really like men in terms of "boyfriend material", I'm proudly gay for sure because women...women are life you know, women fascinate me and more than attraction I also want to stand for them, to not compete because I think it is ridiculous and I just want to tell another girl she is pretty instead of making her think I'm death glaring at her or something? But anyway, I said it's a mess because like my officially straight mother always told me "you never know I might live the rest of my life with a woman, no one knows, we can't decide that" and I thought it was a beautiful way of seeing things. I have currently feelings for someone very very dear to me and this man (yes he is a man, he was confused reading this like a dork!!) could be non-binary, a woman or genderfluid and I couldn't care less, our souls love each others. Oh and I'm asexual!! This might sounds confusing since I do looove women but I'm just not sexual at all, no physical attraction whatsoever. Sexualities can be more complex than it sounds anyway so I just feel like not making a big deal out of it. Tenderness, attraction, sensuality, sexuality, everything has a whole different sense ^-^

✦when did you make this account? Uhh, 4 years ago I assume. It changed a lot and I think I like it the most nowadays, I post more about nature, animals, cute mangacaps of my personal favorites, Yuri on Ice inevitably lol.

✦number of followers? 3,571. I think I've been having the same amount of followers for a whole year or two to be honest. Is it weird? I think a ton of them are actually inactive but regardless I think pretty much all of my followers and mutuals are actually amazing. I also have some followers who've been following me for years!! This is insane, and yes I see you, I ALWAYS notice you :P (I just never really keep track of ppl unfollowing, I think it's best to unfollow someone rather than arguing with them or sending hate mails).

This ended up becoming kind of a novel, as I always do ;;; ✦But thank you again Kit!!✦ (I think your nickname and name is adorable but this is just me ok xD I always thought it was some sort of nickname already. It would be silly if you were a crazy cat lover...). I'm not tagging anyone sorry ;-;

[raeseddon]

3 15 26

3-- Best Fandom I’ve Been In: The Ronin Warriors/YST fandom, hands down. Not only because it was my first but because I’ve known some of the people in it a majority of my life (lookin at you @hjbender) We’re all in different main fandoms now but as soon as someone creates something (new fic or art: @nissajackolantern’s background studies are my new favorite thing. Seriously go check her stuff out, it’s phenomenal.) And the fact that after 30 years we all came together to create a gorgeous fanzine. (I beg you to check out @samuraitroopersfanzine for a copy, the amount of love that went into it is stunning.)  And now we’re losing our collective shit over the 30th anniversary blu-ray release from Sunrise. (Go on twitter and yell at them that we want an English distribution of the set or a reboot or new material! Now’s our best chance!)  I am thrilled the fandom has burst to live again. And maybe when I’m taking a break from my main fic project I’ll finish one of my million WIPs or get the novel translation project off the ground.

15-- Obscure Ship That I Love: Putting aside my and @a-crab-called-diz‘s five or six AU crossover ships, right now it’s Eric x Sheila from the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon.  Canon put Sheila with Hank 90% of the time but she and Eric have a charming dynamic if you look past the pro-social-moralizing. They’re both pragmatists-- granted Sheila isn’t as hard-line a pragmatist as Eric, she has her altruistic streak like Hank, but come Requiem she no longer gives a shit who is responsible for getting them home, and she trusts  him enough that even if he’s wrong, they’re not going back.  The most in canon shippy moments we get are in Citadel of Shadow where after driving her from the party and out on her own, when she shows up again, he runs, screaming, *batting orcs away like a fucking quarterback* to get to her, and then they just flirt-snark while the orcs stand there terrified, (”It was getting boring without some company.”) And the end of that episode with “You need a friend?” moralizing aside that whole episode was a giant tease at what a relationship between them would be like. I know that the fandom favorite ship is Eric x Presto (and damn do they have their moments) but my heart will always belong to Eric x Sheila.

26-- How to Titles Come To Me: Generally speaking, titles either come to me right away or from a line of dialogue or turn of phrase in the fic itself. For example, my Big Damn Pokemon AU is called “All that Rises Must Converge” from a book by French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and fits with the theme/atmosphere of the fic where all of the anime canon from Houenn to Unova comes together in this insane clusterfuck-- whereas my Ronin Warriors WIP “Debt of Honor” is what Nasutei describes what she feels she owes the Ronins and explains why she does what she does in the fic. (Goes through the motions of a traditional match-making with Seiji, spurred on by his grand mother.)

[bellagbear]

The Nearly insane quilt is a sampler quilt based on a quilt made by Salinda Rupp in 1870. When Liz Lois saw the quilt in an out-of-print book she got inspired and created patterns and a book for everyone to use. The title is chosen because many of the blocks in this quilt have an insane amount of pieces and many a person has lost their respective mind trying to make these blocks. On the book cover below you can see the original quilt by Salinda Rupp. There are 93 blocks in total in this quilt.

On her website, it says that Salinda created the Nearly Insane quilt for her quilting classes, which makes her sound like a very tough teacher. Like Bach who created the toughest violin pieces for his pupils to practice. The diversity in the blocks is amazing though and they give lots of opportunities to try different quilting techniques. As with the Dear Jane sampler quilt, I will occasionally blog about my progress with the Nearly Insane blocks. I will talk about my mistakes, my achievements and the techniques I’ve used and all other interesting stuff I can think of.

The Nearly Insane quilt is a similar project to the Dear Jane quilt and I also decided on this sampler project for a similar reason: People told me it was nearly impossible to make, so that made it perfect in my mind to learn a new skill with. Sometimes I feel I have way too much to prove. The Dear Jane quilt is to build my hand quilting skills, the Nearly Insane to build the machine quilting ones. Therefore, the nearly insane will be completely made by sewing machine. Here is a link to my Dear Jane quilt project:

The Dear Jane Quilt hand quilting sampler

Design of the quilt

Because the Dear Jane quilt is made with solids, I decided this one should be made with floral fabric. Now I’ve finished some of the blocks it turns out that this decision makes it a hundred per cent sure that the look of the finished quilt is going to be as insane as the name. But well, once decisions are made, one cannot go back. And what’s wrong with a bit of craziness once in a while anyway.

Each block consists of two fabrics: one that will be used in every block and another flower fabric. I’ve decided to use a light blue – greyish flower fabric in every block to create some cohesion in the quilt and because I had lots of it.

Another new technique I will be trying for this quilt is the quilt as you go technique. For that technique, you don’t wait until your quilt top is finished before you put all the layers of the quilt together and start quilting, sewing, through all the layers. Instead, you finish each block soon as it’s finished and join the blocks later. This technique is beneficial when you only have a small sewing machine and thus cannot manoeuvre a big quilt through it or when you have as little patience as I have and want to try something new. Here is a post that will explain the steps to make a quilt in more detail:

Steps to make a quilt with a scrap quilt with many pieces

Finished pieces:

Here are two pieces to give you an idea of the style of my Nearly Insane quilt. Sadly, the blocks have only numbers and no cool names like the Dear Jane quilt blocks.

Nearly insane quilt block 48

Nearly insane quilt block 82

48 82

Would you like to know more?

I’ll just drop some other quilt posts here until I have more to tell about my Nearly Insane quilt sampler. Also, a question to you all. Are you doing a sampler quilt? Which one is your favourite? I love samplers and always enjoy seeing what other people make and to learn more about them.

Quilt tutorial: how to make a patchwork star

Portrait of a turtle mini quilt

A double wedding ring quilt for a doubly lovely couple

I am designing quilt patterns: Kenyan quilt update

See my DeviantArt or Instagram (username: bella.g.bear.art) for more artwork and WIPs. You can also follow my blog by clicking on the button on the left or by filling in your email address. There will be a monthly update at the end of every month and a new blogpost every Sunday or Monday.

The nearly insane quilt: a machine quilting sampler The Nearly insane quilt is a sampler quilt based on a quilt made by Salinda Rupp in 1870.