#the amityville horror remake

[horrorcryingscreencaps]

[goryhorroor]

horror symbols: crucifixes

In horror movies, crosses are often used as protective charms or magical weapons against supernatural enemies, but in horror movies critiquing catholicism, it could relate to a character a tramua of theirs and what is being used to scare them.

[six-demon-bag]

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) dir. Andrew Douglas

[schrutexbucks]

Houses dont kill people, people kill people.

The Amityville Horror (2005) Directed by Andrew Douglas

xx/13 days of halloween 2023

[esqueletosgays]

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005)

Director: Andrew Douglas Cinematography: Peter Lyons Collister

[fanofspooky]

Dogs of Horror

• When Evil Lurks

• Prey

• The Hills Have Eyes

• Mandy

• The Stuff

• Friday The 13th Part 2

• Dog Soldiers

• I am legend

• The thing

• The Amityville Horror remake

[100gayicons]

Congratulations to Chloë Grace Moretz who came out as a lesbian in an Instagram post November 2, 2024. She using the occasion to announce she voted for President Kamala Harris as President, saying:

“I voted early and I voted for Kamala Harris, There is so much on the line this election. I believe the government has no right over my body as a woman, and that the decisions over my body should come ONLY from myself and my doctor. Kamala Harris will protect that for us.”

She added: “I believe in the need for legal protections that protects the LGBTQ+ community as a gay woman.”

Moretz was born and raised in Georgia. She describes her family as "very Christian" Southern Baptists. In 2002, at the age of 5, she moved to New York City with her mother and older brother Trevor, who had been accepted into a performing arts school there. This triggered her interest in acting.

In less than three years she she was cast in guest roles on TV. She played Ryan Reynolds’ daughter in the 2005 remake of “The Amityville Horror”.

Her major breakthrough came in 2010 when Moretz was cast as Hit-Girl in the comic book film “Kick-Ass” and as the child vampire in “Let Me In”.

In an interview in 2018, she said that two of her three brothers came out as gay. Because of their religious community, they both dealt with self-hate, and tried to "pray the gay away". She credits her mother who is very progressive, with helping them to accept themselves as they are.

This experienced motivated Moretz to starred in “The Miseducation of Cameron Post” about a teen involved in same-sex relationship who is then sent by her parent to a Christian conversion camp.

In 2021 Moretz helped produced the six-part Snapchat series “Coming Out” highlighting young LGBTQ people.

Moretz has been romantically linked with Brooklyn Beckham (David Beckham’s son). But she began a relationship with model Kate Harrison in 2018.

Although Moretz likes to “keep my private life private” she used the occasion of voting for Kamala Harris to announce to the public she is a “Gay Woman”.

[chrislaplante]

BRONTE'S COMFORT LIST

comfort food(s): pizza, tortas “ahoga perros”, corn “at-home-street-style”, nachos, chicken nuggets, beef taquitos, lentils, etc.

comfort drink(s): honestly? water. lol horchata and coca cola.

comfort movie(s): the exorcist, the terminator, the exorcism of emily rose, split, drive, foxfire, brainscan, constantine, candyman, the rocky films, the ip man films, the star wars (eps 1-6 & rogue one) films, school of rock, donnie darko, 8 mile, the crow, gus van sant’s last days, jeepers creepers, awake, secret window, pet sematary (1&2), rosemary’s baby, my soul to take, child’s play, psycho, the texas chainsaw massacre (remake), jaws, scream, the craft, the lost boys, edward scissorhands, beetlejuice, the matrix, american werewolf in london, the cabinet of dr caligari, zodiac, red dragon, rambo/first blood, insidious (1,2&5), the Halloween franchise, the Friday the 13th franchise, the a nightmare on elm street franchise (with remake), the evil dead (& remake), gremlins, ghostbusters (1&2), silent night deadly night, the amityville horror, my friend dahmer, murder by numbers, sinister, twister, twisted nerve, natural born killers, behind the mask, the sixth sense, Alice in wonderland, peter pan, dumbo, bambi, the land before time, the sword in the stone, the aristocats, the beauty and the beast, etc.

comfort show(s): bob’s burgers, dexter, sons of anarchy, 21 jump street, renegade, stephen king’s rose red, salem’s lot, american horror story (first two seasons), tales from the crypt, daria, catfish, the twilight zone, criminal minds, the x files, the green hornet, etc.

comfort clothing: ripped jeans, baggy (oversized) tees, baggy (oversized) hoodies, cargo pants and shorts, plaid button-ups, sweatpants (joggers), overall pants, long socks, sneakers, combat boots, trench coats, “grandpa” or “80s dad” sweaters, bunny slippers, sandals with socks, the occasional dress or romper, etc.

comfort song(s): what’s up (4 non blondes), stan (eminem), vampires will never hurt you (mcr), darkside (bring me the horizon), disgusting semla (morbid), one (metallica), the hunger (distillers), burn (the cure), oye mi amor (mana), afuera (caifanes), jeremy (pearl jam), numb (linkin park), nightcall (kavinsky), etc.

comfort book(s): red dragon, the wasp factory, frankenstein, damien echols’ autobiography, darkly dreaming dexter, joyland (sk), into the wild, the jedi quest book series, the i am not a serial killer book series, the crow (comic), the exorcist, salem’s lot, drive, constantine (film novelization), hellblazer (comics), per yngve ohlin (clem petit-huguenin), lots of old dh darth vader comic runs, etc.

comfort game(s): battleship, guess who, perfection, operation, ouija, “baseball” (card game), checkers, chinese checkers, puzzles, dark lore, the golden ticket, duck hunt, hog.warts legacy, etc.

stolen from: @walkeddeath. framing: @k4rlsson, @freakarus, @strigoix / @miercolaes, @morb1dg1rl, @wastrels, @liraspins, @likeorpheus, @stringmastery, @hangtenn, @nuks, @andtheylive, @absentpublic, @00sgoth, @punkzombie, @popularmxnster, @mrdelroy, @allevils, @getslashed, @bloodykneestm, @helvehte, @helltoraise, @facepeeled, @cheekypriest, @v011d, @roznrot, @poisonedfire, @butscrewmefirst, @notimminent, @sweets1n, @daensuse, @horrorface, + you.

[stuckinthedeadlights]

I know there's a ton more, but I figure these cover some of the bigger bases

[brokehorrorfan]

The Amityville Horror (2005) will be released on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray on September 3 via Scream Factory. The supernatural horror film is a remake of the 1979 film of the same name, itself based on Jay Anson's 1977 novel.

Produced by Platinum Dunes, Andrew Douglas (Mindhunter) directs from a script by Scott Kosar (The Machinist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Philip Baker Hall, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jesse James, Jimmy Bennett, and Rachel Nichols star.

The Amityville Horror has been newly scanned in 4K from the original digital intermediate film negative with Dolby Vision. Special features are listed below.

Disc 1 - 4K UHD:

Audio commentary by actor Ryan Reynolds and producers Andrew Form and Brad Fuller

Disc 2 - Blu-ray:

Audio commentary by actor Ryan Reynolds and producers Andrew Form and Brad Fuller

Houses Don't Kill People: Revisiting The Amityville Horror - Interviews with director Andrew Douglas and composer Steve Jablonsky (new)

Deleted scenes with optional commentary by actor Ryan Reynolds and producers Andrew Form and Brad Fuller

The Source of Evil: Making The Amityville Horror

On-Set Peeks - Behind-the-scenes featurettes

Home Movies

Scare Reel

Theatrical trailer

In November 1974, a family of six was brutally murdered in this home. A year later, an unsuspecting young couple, George and Kathy Lutz, move their family in — only to find that a murderous presence still haunts the house. What follows is 28 days of unimaginable fear.

Pre-order The Amityville Horror.

[exit-the-horizon]

I wanted to try my hand, not only at a horror movie challenge (I’m trying to practice watching movies in a certain time frame in order to prepare for a film blog), at chronicling the film challenge. It’s my dream to write about film more regularly- I’m not sure if I want to be a professional film reviewer, but I at least want to write about film more, as well as watch more films in general. A Dear Friend of mine introduced me to this challenge, and I thought it would be a great start. 

Day one: Sixth film in a franchise. Horror movies are known for having sprawling franchises with cheaper and cheaper sequels, remakes, etc. For this one, I wanted to pick one from a franchise I wasn’t super familiar with, for the fun of it. So I picked Amityville 1992: It’s About Time (1992, dir. Tony Randel). I didn’t think going into this that it wouldn’t be about the Amityville house- instead, a haunted clock. Felt very Cloverfieldian in theory, just taking a horror film idea and molding it into an Amityville package. I thought this movie was very cool- kind of plain, but way more fun than most random sequels in horror franchises. 

[greensparty]

This Month in History - July Part 2

This month there are so many pop culture landmark anniversaries that I had to do 2 installments. For Part 1 read here. Here is This Month In History from July 16-31:

July 16, 1999: Eyes Wide Shut opens

In July 1999, Stanley Kubrick's final film was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2014. Happy 25th EWS!

July 21, 1989: UHF opens

In July 1989, Weird Al Yankovic's comedy about an underdog UHF TV station opened. Here is my piece I wrote in 2014. Happy 35 UHF!

July 22, 2014: Alvvays released

In July 2014, the self-titled debut album from Alvvays was released. I've been lucky enough to cover this band's albums and concerts over the last 9 years. But this debut (my #31 album of the 2010s) spawned the near perfect single “Marry Me Archie”, my #3 Song of 2014 and one of the best of the 2010s.  In June 2015, I saw them live at Brighton Music Hall and was impressed by their dream-like sound. The band even signed my CD at the merch booth. This debut is the sound of dreamy indie poppers swinging for the fences in a big way. It still holds up! Happy 10 Alvvays!

July 25, 1989: Paul's Boutique released

In July 1989, The Beastie Boys' magnum opus was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2019. Happy 35 PB!

July 26, 2019: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood opens

In July 2019, Quentin Tarantino's look at the changing Hollywood of 1969 opened. I saw this opening week and loved every minute of it! It's like it was tailor-made for a film geek like me. I named it my #1 Movie of 2019 and it made my #10 of the 2010s. Just a few weeks ago I spoke with co-star Nicholas Hammond at Super Megafest about this film. Happy 5 OUATIH!

July 27, 1979: The Amityville Horror opens

In July 1979, one of the earliest and scariest movies I went to see in the movie theater with my parents was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2019. Happy 45th TAH!

July 27, 1984: Ride the Lightning released

In July 1984, Metallica's second album was released. It was a band refusing to fall into the sophomore slump! When I did my Top 5 Metallica Albums list last year, I ranked this at #4! Happy 40th RTL!

July 28, 2004: Garden State opens

In July 2004 the voice of 20-somethings at that time film was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2019. Happy 20th GS!

July 30, 2004: The Manchurian Candidate opens

In July 2004, Jonathan Demme's remake of The Manchurian Candidate was released. This is truly an underrated remake. When it came out it was updated to be about a Gulf War vet and a multinational company. It kind of got lost in the Summer movie shuffle, but over the last few years there's been some revisionist takes on it saying how ahead of its time this was and how amazing it was that in an election year, this slipped through the cracks of a major studio to make a movie with obvious references to Cheney and Halliburton. I picked it up on blu-ray a few years ago and it is actually a very smart paranoid political thriller. Demme was being underestimated since his last film was also a remake (The Truth About Charlie, an update to Charade). But as always Demme delivered! Worth revisiting. Happy 20th TMC!

[frankendykes-monster]

This week marks the 20th anniversary of Marcus Nispel’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a remake of Tobe Hooper’s iconic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Nispel’s gory and grungy slasher is hardly a great piece of cinema, but it is a surprisingly important one. Texas Chainsaw Massacre altered the course of mainstream populist horror cinema, at least for a couple of years, by ushering in an era of horror remakes. Pop culture is inevitably guided by larger trends. This is particularly true of horror cinema, where the tendency to make movies cheaply and quickly allows studios to chase popular fads. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre arrived at the end of one such fad. The renaissance in teen slasher movies sparked by the release of Scream in December 1996 was already dying down, giving way to diminishing returns like Scream 3 and Urban Legend: Final Cut along with spoofs like Scary Movie.

That late ’90s slasher fad was self-evidently nostalgic. In Scream, film nerd Randy (Jamie Kennedy) pauses a pivotal scene from John Carpenter’s Halloween to explain the rules of the slasher movie. Scream writer Kevin Williamson would go on to work on the slasher sequel Halloween H20, which would include a sequence of its characters watching Scream 2. However, there was a layer of irony and self-awareness to this nostalgia. These movies referenced classics, but stood apart from them. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre removes that layer of self-reflexive irony. It doesn’t just pay homage to one of the classics of American horror, it straight up remakes it. It reboots the franchise and starts over, as if offering a young moviegoing audience a chance to witness their version of the beloved horror movie. The gambit worked. The movie grossed $29.1 million in its opening weekend. “To say that it exceeded [our] expectations is an understatement,” conceded David Tuckerman of New Line Cinema.

Nispel’s remake had a profound impact on both the franchise and the larger industry. While many other major classic horror franchises, like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th, tended to slow down as they entered the new millennium, Texas Chainsaw Massacre roared to life. The franchise has released more entries in the past twenty years than it did in the previous thirty, including the reboot, a prequel to the reboot, two sequels to the original, and a separate prequel to the original. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre made an even bigger impression on the horror genre as a whole. For the next seven years or so, theaters were flooded with remakes of 1970s and 1980s horror classics: Dawn of the Dead, The Amityville Horror, House of Wax, The Fog, Assault on Precinct 13, Black Christmas, The Hills Have Eyes, The Omen, When a Stranger Calls, The Wicker Man, The Hitcher, Prom Night, Friday the 13th, Sorority Row, The Stepfather, My Bloody Valentine, and many more.

Of course, trends do not exist in isolation. These remakes overlapped with a similar push to adapt Japanese horrors like Ring and The Grudge for American audiences. More interestingly, they seemed to unfold in parallel with the “torture porn” fad, which really kicked into gear with the release of Saw in October 2004 and Hostel in January 2006. Both trends seemed to be displaced by the embrace of “found footage,” and many of these remakes were notably gorier than the originals. It’s worth revisiting this trend in general and Nispel’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre in particular. There is a tendency to overlook the horror genre in discussions of popular cinema. This is most obvious when it comes to awards recognition, but also applies to general discussions of the artform. There’s also an understandable impulse to dismiss these sorts of remakes as inherently unworthy of discussion or scrutiny. Five years ago, Keith Phipps noted that these remakes were largely forgotten.

One of the more interesting – and frustrating – aspects of Nispel’s remake is the fact that it is a horror movie that exists in the context of decades of slasher movies. Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre may not have been the first slasher movie, but it was released before Halloween codified the conventions of the genre. Even watched today, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a delightfully and unsettlingly odd experience. It can seem uncanny to a viewer versed in the films that followed. Hooper’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre begins with a sense of a world that is unraveling, reflecting the chaos of the early 1970s. It begins with a news broadcast about the handing down of an indictment, an invocation of Watergate. Sally (Marilyn Burns) and Franklin Hardesty (Paul A. Partain) are traveling with their friends to visit their grandfather’s grave, following a series of desecrations in the region. There’s an apocalyptic vibe to all this, recalling George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead.

In contrast, Nispel’s remake is much more conventional in its framing. It is set in 1973, but there is no real sense that the larger world is collapsing. None of that apocalyptic dread hangs in the air. These teenage leads are not investigating a case of potential grave robbery. Instead, they are driving to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert after purchasing drugs in Mexico. This is a standard start to a slasher like this. The teenagers transgressed, so will be punished. They broke the rules, so must die. In contrast to the irony that defined the meta-slashers of the previous few years, this is all played remarkably straight. The movie’s final girl, Erin (Jessica Biel), is entirely innocent. She is shocked to discover that her friends used the trip to Mexico as an excuse to buy marijuana. Her friend Kemper (Eric Balfour) jokes that she didn’t even drink the tequila down there. As such, Erin’s survival feels like it plays the socially conservative tropes of the slasher movie remarkably straight.

To give the movie some credit, it is at least somewhat equal opportunity in terms of the violence it inflicts on its teenage victims. In Hooper’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the male characters tended to die quickly while the female characters suffered longer. Nispel’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre reverses that dynamic somewhat. Pepper (Erica Leerhsen) dies abruptly in the distance, while Andy (Mike Vogel) hangs from a meat hook in place of Pam (Teri McMinn) in the original. That said, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is hardly a reconstructed slasher movie. Nispel’s camera lingers on Jessica Biel, particularly her exposed midriff. It seems to luxuriate in shots of her running and panting. It’s an approach that feels very similar to how Michael Bay’s camera would treat Megan Fox during the Transformers films a few years later. Biel may not be hanging on a hook, but there are certainly times when Texas Chainsaw Massacre treats the actor as a piece of meat.

There is a sense that the remake is revisiting the original through the lens of the decades of slasher movies that followed, smoothing down the rougher edges of the original film to make it more easily fit within an established template. This is true of most of the uninspired remakes that followed, which would take messy and clumsy original films that were figuring out what these horror movies looked like in real time, and apply a “one-size-fits-all” structure to them. These movies could be grungy and grimy. They could feature graphic gore. However, these remakes also tended to be products of a more ruthlessly efficient studio system than the films that inspired them. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre sets early scenes to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Sweet Home Alabama, a song that the original could never have afforded to include. Biel and Balfour may not have been movie stars, but they are more established than any actors in the original. There is a polish to these remakes that exists at odds with the power of the original.

Notably, there is no sense of mystery or ambiguity to Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski) in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The film offers the iconic horror villain a backstory involving horrific skin disease and even a name: Thomas Hewitt. Hooper’s original film was so scary because it suggested that this violence couldn’t be explained or rationalized. It had the logic of a nightmare. It’s very hard to replicate that sense of existential dread when so much of the appeal of a remake is the familiarity. Then again, perhaps this makes a certain amount of sense in context. As with the “torture porn” trend, these horror remakes were largely a product of the Bush era. They existed in the context of the War on Terror. This may explain why they were so much more graphic than the original, and why they tended to fixate upon torture and brutality. The War on Terror was defined by a desire to understand the horrors lurking out in the darkness, to understand, “Why do they hate us?”

Released a little more than two years after 9/11, Nispel’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre is rooted in that moment. The biggest alteration to the original narrative is the introduction of R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Hoyt, a sadistic local law enforcement official who feels more at home in Deliverance rather than The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Hoyt is a product of the Bush era. A former governor of Texas, Bush was likened to a western sheriff when he boasted about posting “Wanted” signs in the wake of the attacks. Hoyt physically and psychologically brutalizes these teenagers. He forces Morgan (Jonathan Tucker) to reenact a suicide that the characters witnessed, pushing Morgan to place what he believes to be a loaded gun in his mouth. When Morgan resists, Hoyt handcuffs him and loads him into the back of his police car. He takes Morgan away, but not to experience due process. On the drive, he smashes a nearly empty bottle of liquor in Morgan’s face. It seems likely that Morgan is just going to disappear.

This is perhaps the most unsettling sequence in the film. It resonates with contemporary anxieties over the “enhanced interrogations” and “extraordinary renditions” that defined the War on Terror. Of course, Hoyt doesn’t have any authority to do what he is doing. In perhaps the film’s sharpest jab at the Bush administration, it is eventually revealed that Hoyt isn’t even really the local sheriff. None of this is as overt as the cultural context of Hooper’s original, but these are films of their moment. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is ultimately an underwhelming, generic, and gory imitation of a much richer film. It takes one of the most transgressive horror films of its era, and reduces it down to a standard slasher template. In doing so, it provided a sustainable model for mainstream horror over the next few years, an assembly line that could reliably churn out low-budget and low-effort films to solid box office returns.

In its own weird and grotesque way, Nispel’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre turned mainstream horror into a charnel house. It pushed away from the knowing detachment of the self-aware slashers, and embraced a more direct mode of recycling. It carved up the corpses of classic horror movies to be repackaged as subprime cuts.

[whatyourusherthinks]

The Exorcism Review

I had no idea this movie existed until it arrived in our theater. The only thing I knew about it was starring Russell Crowe, and apparently has nothing to do with the Exorcist franchise. Nor does it have anything to do with the Pope's Exorcist, another demonic possession movie starring Russell Crowe, as well as nothing to do with The Last Exorcism, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley, The Exorcism of Anna Ecklund, Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers, Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes, My Best Friend's Exorcism, American Exorcism, The Exorcism in Amarillo, The Exorcism of God, Godless: The Eastfield Exorcism, Exorcism: Haunted Child, Blackwater Valley Exorcism, The Amityville Exorcism, Exorcism at 60,000 Feet, 13 Exorcisms, Exorcism in Utero, Echorsis: Sabunutan Between Good and Evil, The Exorcists, Exorcist Vengeance, or The Exorcist: Italian Style.

Wow Roan. Way to list every movie you've found on Wikipedia with the word Exorcism or Exorcist in it. You want to stall the review that badly? Yes, Buggnutz. Yes I do. Because this movie is a Lovecraftian enigma. Any part of this film I comprehend I do not understand, and any part I can understand I do not comprehend. It has been hours since I've seen the movie, at time of posting, and I still can't quite internalize what I saw.

What's This Movie About?

A remake of "the classic horror movie" is plagued by a demon possessing Russell Crowe. There's a bunch of other things that happen in the movie too, but I can't adequately explain what they were or why they happened.

What I Like.

Russell Crowe being so good at acting that he can't play a character who acts badly. That sounds like a backhanded compliment. YEAH, WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE ARE WORKING WITH HERE.

What I Didn't Like.

A movie like this makes me kinda wish that I did a video reviews instead of written ones, just so I could gesticulate wildly with a concerned look on my face, making confused grunts before staring into the camera in shock. Because putting how this movie made me feel into words is a Sisyphean task. Where to even begin...

Every part of this movie is bad. The acting, except for Russell Crowe, is awkward. The editing is stupid. The effects and scares are cliched. The cinematography is obnoxious. The script is confusing, and the dialogue is laughable. The plot has a good idea, but bogs itself down with dumb shit because, well, because the writer/director though it would be edgy. And here's the rub: Individually, these aspects aren't the worst I've seen. With the exception of the plot, Madame Web was worse in every regard than this one. But all together, these ingredients make a shit stew that I was laughing at in the beginning, but it quickly began to stank and ruined what little bits of the experience I was enjoying.

Things this movie ruined for me: The premise. I didn't realize going into it that the idea was that a movie was being haunted, and I think that's fun. The most interesting thing the movie does with it is has cliched demonic possession/exorcism scenes take place in sets. The idea of Russell Crowe maybe just relapsing is ruined by the very obvious signs that he's possessed and everyone being too fucking stupid to realize that the fat guy contorting like Reagan and magically flickering the lights isn't just off his meds. There's a real priest on set who's skeptical of the more esoteric and mystical parts of his belief, which is interesting until they just drop that characterization and have him make possibly the stupidest fucking decision a character in a demonic possession movie could make at the end. I thought they did a good job making Russell Crowe look tormented and miserable, but then I realized that EVERYONE in the film looks like that. Seriously, even at the happy ending the characters look like they haven't slept in five days. I don't know if that was intentional or not but I felt really bad for the actors.

Let's have a quick digression about the Exorcist. This movie really wants to be an Exorcist sequel. The movie that the actors in the movie are working on is blatantly the reboot to the movie, they just don't have the license to say that in the movie. There is a lot of imagery from the Exorcist kinda haphazardly shoved in, only slightly skewed so that way they can't get sued. Honestly, that could all be fine. My issue comes from the feeling that the director's favorite part of the Exorcist is the part where Reagan tells the priest "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!". It feels like The Exorcism keeps trying to one-up it some how. I really didn't need Russell Crowe telling his daughter he'd eat her pussy better than her girlfriend. Roan, you're gonna complain about vulgarity? You swear worse than a sailor with Tourette's. Fair, but my issue isn't that the the movie is vulgar. My issue is it feel exploitative. Russell Crowe has a tragic backstory where he was molested as an alter boy, and it's just in the movie so we can have an highly unnecessary and gross flashback and the director can be mean to him about it for like two scenes. (The director character in the story, not the actual director of the movie. I'll be charitable and assume Russell Crowe wasn't made fun of for being sexually assaulted while working on this movie by Joshua John Miller.)

Final Summation.

I don't even know what to put here. I've basically done my three ending tricks in the review itself, so what's left? Well, maybe tell us whether you liked the movie or not? OH YEAH I FUCKING LOVED IT.

[cctinsleybaxter]

why was ryan reynolds in the early 00s amityville horror remake

[madamairlock]

… no one was gonna tell me Ryan Reynolds is in the 2005 remake of Amityville Horror?