pussy so good he forgets about his gods-given quest
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wdym i have to "write essays" and "complete assignments" instead of what i was born to do: listen to loud music and watch spring come in
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Fuck it, classics predictions for Tumblr in 2024
Terfs will go so far in their bio essentialism that they will insist that women are fundamentally cold and wet and men are hot and dry, due to being cooked more in the womb
Fake Tumblr activism will accidentally bring back the Oppian Laws
Aeneas will become Tumblrs new poor little meow meow but only after someone publishes a retelling where he and Turnus are in love
Someone invents another fake goddess
Oracle of Delphi blog emerges to catalogue Tumblr moments of prophecy
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Is there a reason Zeus hates Odysseus?
Where? In the odyssey I don't think he cares much for him haha. He kills his crew at Helios' behest (otherwise he would shine for the dead instead), because Odysseus' men had killed his cows. He's pretty ambivalent to Odysseus throughout the epic otherwise.
Unless you mean epic the musical, then I have no idea
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surely THIS fancy edition of my favorite ancient text will fix me
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🌊Sad Soggy Boat Men Tournament🌊
Round 4A (semifinals), match 1
Propaganda and image sources under the cut (warning for possible spoilers):
propaganda for Odysseus:
image from Wikipedia
propaganda for Aeneas:
image from here
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thinking abt patroclus and hektors bodies in the iliad and the aeneid. patroclus appearing to achilles as achilles loved him instead of as he died and hektor appearing to aeneas as mutilated even when we know apollo stopped his body from rotting. thinking abt the effect of the living on the dead
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A brief summary of how each character is doing at the end of the trojan war
Menelaus - alive!!! (somehow)
Helen - alive! was gonna get killed but she's too hot for that
Achilles - dead
Patroclus - dead
Paris - dead, shot in the dick (ha)
Hector - dead, body absolutely massacred (you were a dick for that Achilles)
Agamemnon - alive then dead (you were a queen for that Clytemnestra)
Odysseus - blublublublub (jk he gets Penelope and Telemachus back but not before slaughtering most of the nobles of Ithica, there's kind of a whole book on it)
Ajax - dead
Diomedes - cucked (aphrodite's punishment for fucking up her wrist)
Aeneas - bringing the squad to Italy (there's kind of a whole book on it)
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deeply embarrassing being god born in ancient greece i think, everyone knows the exact place and detailed story of your conception, “yeah that’s aeneas his mom and dad fucked at the foot of mount ida” i would die. i would die every time someone addressed me by my full name “aeneas son of anchises who everyone knows aphrodite fucked at the foot of mount ida” god
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