#the absolute sillies they cannot be contained

[burnt-toast123]

I think im just gonna be absolutely feral on here. Totally unhinged

[seungminhour]

[💭] thinking about the types of hugs bf!skz would give you

◞✩ pairing : bf!skz (individual) x gn!reader

◞✩ contains : lots and lots and lots of fluff and hugs and just the boys being so smitten lol, probably some typos, i have not looked over this too well

◞✩ notes : this has been in my drafts for ages, but i never got around to finishing it lol. also, i wont lie, i loved writing in this little bulleted style. im gonna have to write more silly little things like this! anyway, i hope you all enjoy 🫶

01. bang chan - bear hugs

will open his arms and just let you launch yourself into his embrace no matter the mood you’re in

you’re sad? he just opens his arms silently and lets you come to him on your own terms

you’re seeing him for the first time since he left for tour? opens his arms and lets you come flying to him - catches you every single time

literally engulfs you completely

gently rocks you back and forth when you need it, running his fingers through your hair and whispering sweet things into your ear

“shh, baby it’s going to be okay. you’re fine, i’m right here if you need me”

definitely the type to cup your face, wipe your tears away and tell you to “turn that frown upside down” with the sweetest look on his face (it works every single time of course bc your bf is just so sweet and loving and caring and you can’t help but crack the smallest of smiles at him)

tries so hard to shield you away from the rest of the world by being in his arms

also uses it as a way to annoy you

will come up behind you while you’re trying to do something and just drape himself fully over your back

won’t get off until one (or both) of you end up on the floor

02. lee minho - back hugs

i Really have been thinking about back hugs and lee know recently, like it’s taken over 80% of all my thoughts

he especially loves back hugs in the mornings, like i’m talking clingy in the mornings

sometimes you wake up before him and you’ll be cooking breakfast for the two of you and he’ll quietly sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and just watch as you cook

do NOT try to get him off of you, because he Will retaliate by digging his chin into your shoulder to get you to stop wiggling

you’ll feed him little bites over you shoulder while asking if it needs anything

he’ll do his cute little “mmm!~” and shake his head against your shoulder

you wake him up while while you’re trying to get out of bed? good luck because he’s reaching up and grabbing you by the waist to drag you back in

“where do you think you’re going? it’s not time to get out of bed yet”

holds you there until one or both of you fall back asleep

loves to stand behind you and watch you do your nighttime routine too

asks so many (of the same) questions just because he likes to hear you talk

gets all doe eyed while watching you explain to him the benefits of one face mask over the other

he really is just smitten

03. seo changbin - picks you up and spins you around

this man. oh my god

you cannot convince me that he doesn’t love to pick you up and just take you places

like if you wanna go somewhere and you’re sitting down, be prepared for him to just lift you up and take you where you need

time for bed? he will gently pick you up off the couch and bring you to bed himself, just because he can

absolutely looooooves when you get all flustered by it

“binnie, i can walk myself you know?”

“just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”

is alllllllll about the princess treatment

as a result this translates over to his hugs 100%

literally almost knocks over the guys when he sees you come in the practice room one day

sprints full force at you until he’s scooping you up in his arms to spin you around and around until you’re breathless and dizzy

loves to pick you up and gently sway the two of you when you’re not feeling the greatest

if you come home upset and he’s there, he’s immediately picking you up and rocking you side to side as he runs his hands through your hair

sometimes you want to talk about what’s made you this upset, other time you don’t, so he’ll just hold you in place until you tell him what you need - whether that be a warm bath to relax (which he carries you to) or to be let down so you can pace and rant about how shitty of a day you had

04. hwang hyunjin - buries his face in your neck

he just wants to be as close to you as he can possibly get

loves loves loves the whole skinship of it

sooooo many neck / shoulder kisses!!!

so soft and sweet about it :(

he’ll gently hold you face in one hand while he moves you hair to the side with the other so he can make space for himself between your neck and your shoulder

always leaves at least one kiss to your neck before he rests his forehead there

“you know, hyune, you can’t just hide in my neck forever. at some point you need to come out”

will literally pout, shake his head and shove his face closer to you

he’ll fall asleep like that too

if you two have a movie night on the couch, be ready for him to lay directly on top of you, shove his face into your neck, and then promptly fall asleep within the first 20 minutes

the list of unfinished movies you guys have is astronomically long because this happens so often

you can tell if it’s been a bad day when he comes home and immediately goes to hide away from everything in your neck.

you just hold him there for as long as he needs

sometimes he will talk about it, other times he will just sit there, quietly sniffling while you comb your hands through his hair to bring him a little comfort

05. han jisung - clings to you

i will forever and always stand by the fact that han jisung is one clingy motherfucker okay

like i’m talking he launches himself at you the moment you step through the door when you get home

will not let you go for at least 5 minutes

“hanji, babe, can you at least let me put my things down first?”

the little fucker would hold you tighter and pout “nooo, i just missed you so much, wanna hold you for a few more minutes”

definitely calls it his “recharging time”

will 100% get all whiny and pouty if he doesn’t get to hug you for as long as he wants to

somehow manages to be the worlds biggest blanket hog and the worlds biggest cuddler at the same time

half the time you wake up freezing cold on one side and burning up on the other from where he has cocooned himself in all the blankets and then clung onto you for dear life

does not shy away from sticking to you in front of his friends

if you guys have a movie night with everyone in the dorms, he is not content until you are sat in his lap with his arms wrapped around you and his head pressed against yours

bonus points if it’s a scary movie and you sit sideways in his lap so you can hide your face in his neck when it gets too spooky

06. lee felix - squeezes you

this man just has so much love and happiness to spread, he can’t help but squeeze the life out of you every time he sees you

it doesn’t matter how long it’s been either

a day, a week, hell even if you just go to take a shower and come back he’s squeezing you as soon as you return

most definitely shakes you a bit while holding on to you for dear life

grabs you and does the fully body vibrate thing just to annoy you

sometimes he gets a little carried away and you’ll have to remind him that you actually Do need to breathe at some point

“lix, baby, i can’t- i can’t really breathe-“

“oh!” he’d giggle bc ofc he would, “i’m sorry baby, sometimes i just forget how tightly i’m holding you.”

gives you tiny reassuring squeezes when you need them tho

he can somehow always tell when you’re having even the slightest of bad days

also can tell exactly what kind of squeeze you need

if you come home upset, he’s right there to grab you and hold you tight, kissing the side of your head as the tears that have been building up all day finally come crashing down

tries to physically squeeze the sadness from you because he hates seeing you like this :(

if you come home mad, he’ll sit with you while you rant about your day and offer small, reassuring squeezes to your shoulder to show you he’s listening

07. kim seungmin - rests his head on / against yours

idk smth about seungmin just screams that he loves to rest his head on or against yours

and if he’s tall enough to place his chin on the top of your head? oh he’s giddy about it every single time

loves to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind, place his chin on top of your head, and just stand there like that

is also a little shit about it ofc

“you’re so short, i can see clear over your head. how embarrassing.”

“yeah, but you love it.”

he does indeed love it.

he loves that he can rest his head against yours if he needs a little recharge and he loves the smell of your shampoo and he loves how close your temple is for him to kiss

oh that’s another thing

he will kiss your temple / forehead any chance he gets - like it’s literally his favorite thing to do

when you really need comfort, he’ll pull you close and kiss your forehead before resting his against yours while you try to forget how terrible of a day you had

softly knocks his head against yours just for the fun of it

he loves to hear you giggle and get tripped up on your words when he does it, so he’ll keep doing it until you physically have to pull yourself out of his embrace just to finish your story

08. yang jeongin - waist hugs

i just really think he would be the type to wrap his arms around your waist and never let go, ya know???

like he would always be holding your waist in some way when you’re out in public just to make it easier to tug you into his arms whenever needed

loves loves loves to slowly move his hands from your sides to your back just to tease you a little bit

will 100% use giving you a hug as an excuse to start a tickle fight tho, so always be on your toes

he’ll sneak up behind you, snake his hands around your waist while acting like the innocent and sweet and loving bf he is

and then as soon as you let your guard down he’s going in for the kill, digging his fingers into your sides and tickling the life out of you

won’t stop until you call mercy

“i’m going to have to take away your hugging privileges if all you’re going to use them for is to tickle me.”

“you wouldn’t dare to take them away. you love my hugs far too much for that.”

walks away all smugly because he know he’s right. you would never deny him a hug, even though you know the risk of it ending in tickles

loves to gently run his hands up and down your sides while he’s listening to you talk

he’ll definitely slide them under the hem of your shirt

sometimes this is to place his freezing cold hands against your warm skin to make you jump, other times it’s to provide comfort when you need it

he’s slide his hands under you shirt and gently runs his hands up and down your bare sides and back when you’ve had a particularly rough day

[rtv-puzzlevision-studios]

THE RTV!STUDIO TOUR: RULES & GUIDELINES

THE OFFICIAL DATE FOR THE START OF THE TOUR (for now) IS APRIL 4TH 2025!

CONTINUATION UNDER THE CUT

If you stop here I will get you Istg /silly

EDIT: Please remember that submissions closed in February. If you still want to participate, you can do so through voting in the polls, but your character cannot be added anymore!

Of course, every major event has some ground rules and we here at Puzzlevision Studios put much worth on those.

So read carefully through the following rules and be sure to uphold them!

★ HOW THIS WORKS:

This part of the event will mostly consist of writing with a few illustrations from me here and there. I will basically play the narrator throughout all this, summarize your guys actions, write my characters and guide you through the story. 

It all will work the following:

I will post a starting post with a poll at the end of it in which you can vote on how the story continues! Example: Through the poll you choose with department you explore first. So even if your character is not part of the tour, you still have the chance to be a part of this by voting!

You will have a week to draw or write your characters' reactions and actions to my post! Please be sure to add the tag #RTVTour25 and to ping me!! When I saw your post and deemed it to be okay, I will comment with a checkmark! I shall reblog all checkmarked posts a day before my next post!

I will post the next part of the tour after a week. It will contain links of all your reactions and a brief summary of them, as well as the continuation of the story which is influenced by your actions and the poll result.

The same thing repeats. You draw your reactions, I respond, until the end of the tour.

★ TIME DURATIONS:

Time between my posts: 1 week may be subject to change we will see how it goes

Poll Duration: 3 days

★ RULES:

Once again: Ping and add the tag #RTVTour25 in your posts.

Be respectful to one another.

Always check the #RTVTour25 tag to see other people’s posts and possible updates.

Don’t just drag people you may like along. Be mindful if they have their own plans for the tour and try to communicate with them beforehand to check if certain bigger actions are alright! 

Try to stay at least in groups or pairs, so I have a better overview.

Please don’t draw or write yourself doing actions that the poll is supposed to decide before the result is even available.

Your character is NOT invincible. They can be immortal, they can be powerful, but this is RTV’s world. There will be consequences to your actions. Though I won’t of course kill characters off without permission.

Stick to the given time limits.

At the end of the day this event is a massive collaboration. Of course, I have some things planned out, but the story is majorly focused on YOUR decisions.

This can either be a chill tour or a full-scale exploration. It’s up to you guys!

Also, please mind that this is my first time organizing something like this on this scale and alone, so please have mercy with me lol

★ Ok, but…

Can I work together with others? -> Yes, you absolutely can! Interactions are more than okay! But remember communication is key. 

Can I interact with other RTV!AU characters? -> You can! There will be plenty of opportunities for that, in fact. However, I ask you to wait until I introduce them in the story, and not just summon them out of nowhere.

What if I don’t follow the rules/make something contradicting? -> You will not get the checkmark when I see your post, but instead a comment of me explaining to you what you need to change. You will have the rest of the time to do that. If you don’t, I will have to ignore your post.

What if I have to leave/cannot participate? -> No problem, there are several options for you! The easiest being, just not participating at all. This is just for fun, you don’t have to participate! ->However, if you have to leave in the middle of the tour  or have worked together with other people, I ask you to inform them and me before jumping out, so we can make adjustments to our ideas/story and there won’t just be a hole left!

What if I have to sit out a round? -> All cool! I know not everyone has the motivation I have so if you ever need a break, simply take one. Just give me a heads up if your character is currently more heavily involved in the story. If you all need more time we can also make the time limit longer.

Why the polls? -> The polls are for decisions that concern the whole group, for example which department to visit first and so on. It also gives people who haven’t submitted an OC to the event the opportunity to have an impact on the story. 

How are you going to manage this many people? -> I doubt that all 50+ people will participate throughout this entire event, but yes we are a lot.

-> Hence why I decided to keep most of my posts as writings which I can do way faster and also allows me to summarize all your possible actions properly. As mentioned before, I would also love it if you guys stick together in teams or at least pairs so it won’t get too scattered in the end.

How many parts will this have? -> Entirely dependent on your actions. I have ending possibilities planned, but once again, this story is based on your choices. I will probably have to improvise most things so it’s hard to say.

Is it okay if my posts are just writing? -> Absolutely! I know this will probably take motivation and energy and I don’t want to send you all straight onto a burnout. You can write, you can draw, or you can make a mix of it like I do! Up to you!

If there are any other questions, you are more than welcome to message me or comment! I shall add the answered questions to this list.

Rules may be added too if I see it necessary!

[anarchysammichh]

I'm a lil unfamiliar with your puppet AU but there is something wholesome to me about how Ford is mad at the puppet and not Stan, or at least acts that way. He doesn't say "Stan stop being an idiot and using that puppet. I know it's you!"

No, it's more like "Stanley, stay out of this. This is between me and that muppet ass felt skin!"

Like??? He's playing along and it's so damn cute!!

I've done a lot of art for it but it's not my au!! The original concept was by @babyblankyerror and it was expanded by @aroace-get-out-of-my-face. (Both their posts on this au are an absolute delight to go through if you'd like to catch up!)

This au is so perfectly wholesome and silly, and it's just completely taken over my brain space (and subsequently what I draw). I mean Ford was so caught up in building a literal hate room for a puppet that he never even summoned Bill in this au, which is just so funny to me

The fact is that Ford genuinely loves Poppy Avenue (the show that Science Time with Dr Pine is on) but it's that damn puppet that gets him. He just cannot STAND Dr Pine, yet holds no resentment towards Stan for it. They're actually pretty close in this au if anything, which makes the dichotomy of Ford's rage even more hilarious.

I mean Ford is obviously aware of the fact that Stan is pupetting (is that a word??) Dr Pine, but his rage is always entirely directed towards the puppet.

And I imagine that when Ford recognizes Stan's voice when he's pupetting (???) other puppets on Poppy Avenue he's all "aw my brother," but as soon as Dr Pine comes on, he's immediately swearing madly at the screen or just barely containing his rage.

[browneyedbimbo]

Gaz headcanons because i love him

Contains : nsfw at the end , first half is all sfw

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．・゜゜・

˚ ༘♡ ·˚꒰ᥕᥱᥣᥴ᥆꧑ᥱ ꒱ ₊˚ˑ༄

☆ Sfw headcanons ☆

- His love language is physical touch..get ready for him to always have his hands on you no matter how and where you guys are

-Big on cheesy and cringy nicknames for you.. he finds your reaction hilarious so get ready for him to always tease u

-loves to cook for you and to surprise you with random recipes and food trends he saw on social media ( will definitely make anything you wanna try)

-will brag and talk about you every chance he gets but keeps your name age and everything important private for safety reasons

-is absolutely weak for you..all you gotta do is give him a small smile and he’s already on his knees doing anything you tell him to

-Likes to spoil his perfect princess no matter how..long shopping trips with you spending all his money? God yes! bringing you breakfast in bed? Why not! Its his job!

-gets all weak when you listen to the songs he recommends..its the fact that you trust him and actually take time to listen to something he loves

-absolutely loves to hear you ramble about your hobbies interests or just something you are very passionate about ( no matter how weird silly or boring it might be)

-big cuddler

-likes to travel and see new things with you

-you are his safe space does it mean he will become all clingy and hang on you every time he has a bad day? Yes absolutely

-gets all weak when you are wearing his shirts

-encourages you to get all dolled up and wear whatever you want no matter how short or tight the clothes are

“Baby i can fight remember?” is his go to quote

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦ ◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

❁ NSFW headcanons ❁

-definitely packing.

-puts your needs and pleasure above his..needs to see you cum before he absolutely busts into you

-keeps his downstairs area clean since he regularly works out and is often sweaty but loves hair on his perfect princess

-big ass man will grip and slap it every chance he gets

-as much as he loves your pretty face and those beautiful eyes nothing is better than your face being pressed against the mattress while he rails your back

-is a big switch take control all you want and he will happily oblige

-loves to cum inside of you..something about seeing it drip out your perfect pussy gets him all rilled up

-gets all weak when he sees your marks on him so dig your nails into his back all you want

-as much as he loves being inside of your perfect pussy something about you struggling to take him in your mouth..those pretty eyes all glossy as you struggle gets him going

-get ready for him to change positions every two minutes because he cannot get enough of you and your perfect body

-man is a munch.

-no matter how much you weight he will flip you like a pancake

-big on using toys..loves to please you in every way

-insecurities? Never heard of them he will kiss everything you hate on yourself while fucking the shit out of you

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿

Hope you guys like it !! ^-^

[redroses07]

AHS boys cuddling headcanons. <3

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back from my year long hiatus! It's been a crazy year for me and I've been through a lot of ups and downs but I'm finally back! Expect me to be posting a lot now because I have a TON of ideas. Anyways, enjoy this little drabble! Love y'all!

Contains: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Michael Langdon, and Xavier Plympton.

Tate Langdon:

This boy is definitely a little spoon.

Constantly asks you to hold him in your arms.

You, personally love this, and happily wrap your arms around him lovingly.

Places soft kisses on your fingers while you trace his features.

Absolutely LOVES when you play with his hair, he practically begs for it.

Now don't think he's always going to be the one being held, that's just what he prefers.

If you're feeling down he'll pull you into his chest, and hold you like something's going to take you from him (his abandonment issues showing)

Loves kissing your neck while cuddling.

Kit Walker:

Kit is truly the most loving partner you could ask for and cuddling with you is one of his favorite things in the whole world.

Likes to see your pretty face so prefers that you two lay facing each other.

Softly tells you all the things he loves about you while pressing kisses to your nose, lips, cheeks, and forehead.

When I tell you his hands would be all over you, I mean ALL OVER. He loves to trace his fingers down your arms, torso and stomach.

Kit also likes to sneak his hands under your shirt when your laying together, and he often falls asleep with them like that.

Cannot fall asleep unless his hands are on you in some way (will not lose you like he lost Alma)

Anyways Kit is amazing and I am in love with him.

Pre-death Kyle Spencer:

Tbh he's my least favorite Evan character so apologies if this sucks.

For some reason I feel like he loves to nuzzle his face in your neck, and he often falls asleep like that.

Lets you lay on his lap while he works on schoolwork, and starts playing with your hair when he loses focus.

Loves when you sit in his lap, he will pull you in his lap literally anywhere. No matter if you're alone, or with your friends he feels the best when you're comfortably situated on his lap.

Jimmy Darling:

Big spoon!!!!!!

Loves when you straddle his waist or wrap your arms around his neck.

Really loves to feel as close to you as possible so he'll tangle your bodies together in every possible way.

One would think it would be hard to get comfortable like that but your comfort is Jimmy's #1 priority, even if that means sacrificing his own.

So if that means his arm falls asleep or his leg cramps, that's okay! as long as you're co. mfortable.

Jimmy loves to kiss your cheeks, and when he's in a silly mood he quickly switches between the two. This leaves you flustered, and in a fit of giggles.

James Patrick March

You wouldn't expect it but James LOVES cuddling with you.

On the outside he seems like he would be cold and dismissive in a relationship but you are his EVERYTHING.

Loves when you lay on top of him and he can comfortably wrap his arms around you.

Constantly whispers to you how much he loves and adores you and would do anything for you (In love with his accent)

Probably not surprising but he likes to leave marks all over you, and not just during sex.

Will bite and suck on your skin while you're cuddling. His favorite place to leave marks is your collarbone.

He sees this as an intimate act, and loves the idea that people will know you belong to him.

Kai Anderson

Lets be real...this man is not a cuddler. To be honest he only cares about you when he's trying to make the messiah baby.

But occasionally he'll be extremely overwhelmed with cult responsibilities and will turn to you for condolences.

Holds you while he vents to you about his frustrations.

Plays with your hair or fiddles with the straps of your tank top to distract himself.

Will also ask you about your day to give him something else to think about.

These are the few times when Kai shows his vulnerable side.

Will kiss your shoulders while you tell him about your day, or give him cult advice.

Michael Langdon:

I love Michael so much y'all he's literally my husband.

Cuddling can go either way with him tbh. Sometimes it's him holding you, and sometimes it's you holding him.

When he holds you he pulls you into him and traces is fingers along your back.

Loves to intertwine your fingers and tightly grip your hand. It makes him feel closer and more connected to you.

Cuddling is when you and Michael have your most intimate bonding moments. When you spill your deepest thoughts and secrets to each other.

On the other hand, when the pressure on Michael is too much, he wants you to hold him.

He cries softly, and stuffs his face into your chest in an effort to hide his tears.

When life just becomes too much for him being held and kissed by you makes everything feel okay.

This is a weird one but I feel like he'd have you brush his hair (I love long hair Michael don't hate).

Xavier Plympton:

Likes to listen to music while cuddling, and will softly sing along if he knows the lyrics.

Will also tap on your back along to the beat.

Likes when you lay your head on his chest and drape your legs over his.

Loves to talk while cuddling, telling you everything that comes to his mind.

He talks, you listen, and that's what he loves about you.

Takes breaks in between his various rants to kiss the top of your head and make sure you're comfortable.

[thebiscuitlabryinth]

Cookiekind, in general, seems to hold the strange belief that Shadow Milk Cookie, as the Beast of Deceit, does not understand truth. This is because they have burnt ash for brains, and cannot comprehend that a change in superficial title does not mean that Shadow Milk Cookie is no longer the Master of Knowledge. Even if it did, a deciever can only be effective by understanding the nuance of truth, for the greatest lies are created through its flexibility.

So despite popular opinion, Shadow Milk does recognise, understand and know truth. Well, he knows everything, but especially something as fundamental as that.

Look, here's a truth, right now; Shadow Milk Cookie quite likes Pure Vanilla Cookie, in spite of everything.

Not in the soft, fluffy cotton candy way, of course. Shadow Milk likes Pure Vanilla in the same way a cat likes a mouse, or a researcher likes a test subject, or a puppeteer has a favourite puppet. He likes him because he is a source of entertainment – having such a soft, simple heart makes him fun to watch struggle with silly emotions, and easy to taunt and frazzle. That's all, really. Shadow Milk can't even say he likes him to the point of wanting to crack him open and see what makes him tick, because he doesn't need to. He already knows everything about Pure Vanilla, right down to the composition of the yeast in his body, because he has constantly kept his eyes on him since the start.

It must be said though, if we are to talk in truths, that Shadow Milk may have some biases that make him more invested in Pure Vanilla's continued existence. Namely, the fact that he holds his Soul Jam.

Now, obviously he doesn't like that this little half-cookie, this unworthy, flimsy vessel, holds half his power. On the contrary, it is nothing but an insult to watch him clumsily flaunt it around while Shadow Milk stays unjustly shackled. It is the only transgression Pure Vanilla has ever committed against him, but it is a blasphemous one.

And yet, even with his bubbling rage at the disrespectful theft of his rightful power, Shadow Milk sometimes likes to toy with the idea that he is a gift, a plea for forgiveness from the Witches that he can righteously ignore. After all, Pure Vanilla has his Soul Jam – his, not theirs – and does that not make Pure Vanilla his too?

Naturally, Shadow Milk knows that the Witches are horrible, selfish old tyrants and would not grant him that grace, but that does not change the fact that Pure Vanilla is, for all intents and purposes, his other half. There is something powerful in that knowledge, especially since he knows it would tear Pure Vanilla apart.

So Shadow Milk does like Pure Vanilla quite a lot, even with the full knowledge that he's a dirty little thief, because he is entertaining and, most importantly, he is his.

Now, here is another truth, since we're already on a roll; Shadow Milk Cookie will escape the Seal and get his Soul Jam back.

It's an inevitability, really. Even if Shadow Milk feels like he is absolutely crumbling of boredom stuck in this stupid tree, especially since the rest of the Beasts have one by one drifted into a bitterly restless slumber, they are all far too strong to be contained by a single measly seal forever. The day will come when it gives way beneath the probing of his hands, and with the cracks in the tree nearly large enough for him to stick his fingers through, he knows that day will come much, much sooner than later.

As for what comes after he escapes? Well, Shadow Milk has no concerns there.

The Faerie Cookies may have longer lifespans than average, but sadly that doesn't make them any smarter. It'll be a piece of cake to knead their doughy brains into doing what he wants them to, even with half his power missing. The Guardian is the only one who poses any real threat, and even that has a laughably easy solution, because he certainly isn't immune to crumbling.

Shadow Milk picks at the slim seam of the cracks with hands that are not his own, encouraging them to grow as he takes a moment to fantasise standing over the Guardian's pathetic crumbs.

Speaking of laughably easy solutions, Pure Vanilla is awfully kind to come to Beast-Yeast, right on the cusp of Shadow Milk's escape! Really, Shadow Milk was estatic when he overheard him discussing those travel plans. It saves him the trouble of having to track him down once he's finished freeing his friends and razing the Faeriewoods to the ground.

Even better, having Pure Vanilla around to welcome him back to the free air could prove to be useful. It would be so deliciously poetic, for Pure Vanilla to cut down the tree with his stolen power and set Shadow Milk free with his own hands, offering himself up in a syrupy spotlight to reunite the two lost halves of Knowledge to its true owner.

Shadow Milk could push him into it, he thinks confidently as he twists his claws into the fracture, grappling at the edges to force them wider. He knows Pure Vanilla better than Pure Vanilla knows himself, he is sure. It wouldn't even be hard.

Now, let's review! Shadow Milk Cookie quite likes Pure Vanilla Cookie, that is the first truth. And he will escape the Seal and get his Soul Jam back, that is the second.

These truths coexist, and because they do, Shadow Milk has long decided he won't immediately crumble Pure Vanilla into fine dust when he takes his Soul Jam back.

Oh, he could, and so easily too. Shadow Milk has held Pure Vanilla's hunched form in his palms dozens of times, in the pit of the abyss, has felt how fragile and weak it is – not that Pure Vanilla ever notices, the silly, blind thing. He has curled his claws around his silhouette like a cage countless times, and entertained and irritated himself with how easy it would be to crush him in one fell swoop.

Yes, he could crumble him without a second thought, but that wouldn't be much fun, would it? It's not like he needs to destroy him to be able to retrieve his Soul Jam, and really, it would be a bit of a waste. He's been waiting to meet him – really, truly meet him – for oh so long, to get rid of him immediately would just be anticlimatic. Nobody likes a boring ending, least of all Shadow Milk.

There is a sudden, audible crack, and Shadow Milk's hands finally breach the containment of the bark, fingers quickly scrambling to anchor themselves on the edges of the open wound. An uncontrollable, wild grin splits across Shadow Milk's face, or whatever is currently left of it, wide and eager.

He lurches forward, all of his eyes narrowing in on the wispy traces of light outside, with the exception of the one that always follows Pure Vanilla like a curse, currently watching him settle into an airship with some teeny, insignificant Cookies. Anticipation begins to simmer the endless darkness around him, finally, finally, finally making him feel alive for the first time in far too long.

Somewhere nearby, Silent Salt is slowly beginning to rouse, and Shadow Milk's grin stretches even wider. They don't make a sound and hardly move, but Shadow Milk knew they would be the first to wake. They always are.

Finally, a third truth, to neatly complete the rule of threes; Shadow Milk Cookie is looking forward to properly introducing himself and the other Beasts to Pure Vanilla Cookie.

This one doesn't need any further explanation. After all, there is nothing more thrilling than a good reveal.

The wood groans pitifully beneath his harsh grip, the noise mingling with the distant thrum of an airship in motion, and Shadow Milk's quiet but sharp giggling.

Ah, he can't wait to see Pure Vanilla's face when he realises the true identity of his precious Light of Truth.

[sandwitchstories]

A Big Uh-Oh

Hey hey everyone! Its been far too long since I shared some new Daddy Duty content regularly, so here you go! I give to you all this silly little story about Dad!Sukuna and Mouse

If you prefer to read it on AO3 click here !

WC: 800+

Summary: Mouse gets injured when trying to hide. But just what was she hiding from?

AN: To anyone new to my Daddy Duty series- Mouse is Sukuna's two year old daughter. Welcome to Mouse's Mini-verse!

CW: Non-descript injury, mention of reader being pregnant, reader called Mama but not described, family fluff, toddler hijinks

A shrill screech pierced the otherwise calm of your home causing you and Sukuna to both race towards the sound. He moved far faster than you, getting there first. His little thief had closed her hand in the cabinet door.

“Mouse! You know better!” Sukuna scolded as he took her hand to see the injury.

“I sorry Papa!” Mouse wailed, sticking out her bottom lip as tears streaked down her chubby face. She sniffled while he examined her hand and looked at you, her other hand tangled in the fabric of her father’s black haori. “Papa kiss it?”

“Yes, Papa will kiss it,” you said, stroking hair back from her face.

He sighed at what he felt was theatrics but one look into those giant eyes and he was putting her little hand to his lips. He used his RCT and healed her hand. “There. Now cease the crying.”

“Kissed it fixed it,” Mouse said, calming herself a little. She turned in his arms, cupping his face with her hands and kissed his nose. Still sniffling, she snuggled into him, head under his chin like she had done since birth. Her safe place. “Please and thank you, Papa.”

“You only need to say one or the other,” Sukuna told her. He sighed and looked at you, “Wasn’t that exciting?”

You looked at him, blinking back tears. “I thought she was right behind me. I swore Mouse was with me.”

He looked at you with confusion, unsure why you were upset. Realization dawned on him. He tsked before standing up, pulling you to his other side as he scooped Mouse up in his arms. “It’s not your fault that our daughter cannot be contained. Accidents and injuries are going to occur. And when Mouse gets hurt she knows to find us and–”

“And Papa will kiss it fix it,” she said with a smile, reaching out a hand towards you. 

With one arm wrapped around Sukuna’s back and the other holding your daughter's hand. You took a deep breath and let out the tension that had stiffened your entire form. Mouse was okay. Mouse was okay. Mouse was-

“WHO DID THIS?!” Uraume’s voice said in absolute fury from behind Sukuna. 

Sukuna turned with Mouse while you peaked around his side. Your jaw dropped at the scene you had somehow missed. Ingredients were strewn about the kitchen and flour dumped on the floor. 

Sukuna looked down at Mouse. “Mouse… what were you trying to get out of the cupboard?”

“I not trying to take anything, Papa,” she answered quickly.

“Were you trying to put something inside?” Sukuna asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes, Papa! I trying to put me inside!” She nodded.

“Why were you trying to get inside the cupboard?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at her.

She sat up in Sukuna’s arms and pointed to the mess before bringing her hands up to her cheeks, as if in shock, and dramatically gasped, “Uh oh!”

“Yeah, Uh-oh. BIG uh oh!” Sukuna said as he took in the scene of the crime while Uraume glowered across the room. If looks could kill…

“Mouse… do you have something to say to Uraume?” you asked her, giving her a stern look.

She tucked her head back under Sukuna’s chin. “I sorry, Urau-rau.”

“Just go,” Uraume sighed as they grabbed the broom. 

“Come, let's head to the gardens so you can burn off some energy, brat,” Sukuna said as the three of you left the kitchen to the sounds of Uraume plotting murder under their breath. Sukuna set Mouse down and she ran ahead. 

You glanced up at him, “You don't think Uraume will poison our food, do you?

Sukuna laughed, throwing an arm around you and pulling you closer while you followed your little pink haired criminal down the hall.

“I doubt it. But then again…”

You looked up and saw his smirk. That damn dimple and mischief in his eyes, suppressing laughter at your concern. You shook your head and sighed. “You're so very reassuring, my love.”

“You shouldn't need reassurance. Daft woman. As if I would ever let anything happen to you,” he leaned down quickly and gave you a peck.

“What about Mouse?” You teased

“Ehhhh I don't know… I mean, It's not like we didn't already make another one…”

“You're incorrigible,” you laughed, thumping his chest with your fist.

Sukuna's hand moved to rest over your belly that was getting bigger everyday. He kissed the top of your head. “As if you don't know damn well that I would happily burn down all of civilization to protect what is mine.”

You had no doubts he meant what he said. He always did. And when it came to his family… well may the Gods take mercy on anyone who tried to harm his family because Sukuna damn sure wouldn't. 

You couldn't help but find that side of him sexy. He was a walking calamity. But he was yours.

[ohnoitsjesster]

Didn’t Herbert West technically TECHNICALLY try to baby trap Dan in Bride of Reanimator?

Thoughts?

(Im sorry this took forever to respond to. life got in the way, of my silly little words)

technically, yes. The main intention was the same. But "Baby Trap" does not even start to explain the shit Herbert pulled in Bride of Reanimator.

thoughts? you want THOUGHTS? alright how about let me break down exactly what Herbert did here:

That man stole Megan's heart from an evidence locker and stored it in his fridge. When Dan tried to leave Herbert, He offered the heart to Dan with every ounce of reverence he could deliver without getting down on one knee.

that is to say, Herbert anticipated that Dan would leave him and saw that he loved Megan. So his reaction was to steal Megan's actual physical HEART, and give it to Dan as an offering to force him to stay.

He vaguely explained that he was about to baby trap him with it, to which Dan agreed because of his blind love for Meg, and his blind love for Herbert, and because, in the words of Bruce Abbot, "no one will ever get rich overestimating Dan's bad taste."

(This could maybe be because the world of Reanimator uses weird sci-fi logic where the heart contains the person's personality or life or whatever, and it'd actually bring Meg back (even though these movies seemed pretty brain-focused thus far), in which case, pretty good manipulator leverage! nice job, Herbie! Otherwise, its either because Herbert knew Dan would like this weird creepy gesture of love, or because Herbert thought this weird creepy gesture of love was a normal and good idea, and coincidentally Dan was that same wavelength of out-of-touch freak as Herbert, because they're just meant for each other or something. That last option is my personal favorite)

So, then Herbert goes around the hospital STEALING more body parts off corpses (former patients who also presumably received some form of care and attention from Dan), trying to create Dan's perfect woman based on his shallow perception of whatever it is that straight, allosexual, relatively neurotypical men like (maybe since Herbert can't be what Dan wants romantically, he can create it for him and earn love that way (that cannot be good for His internalized transphobia)).

so then he meticulously assembles a woman like an Ikea cabinet and proceeds to give Dan the worlds most sensual elevator pitch, using... a line that he heard Dan use with his girlfriend when he was eavesdropping on them having sex. He tries to explain why this is the perfect woman for all your woman needs! Like uhhh sex, and... sex, and lawyering? maybe murder? (I guess he thinks it'd be nice to have a woman who can kill for you and defend your crimes in a court of law. That does sound useful in their situation)

Then he watched the Bride fight Francesca like some sort of underground girlfriend fighting ring, as if the larger and stronger girl would win ownership of our poor pathetic Dr Cain. Unfortunately Herbert's creation broke down to nothing when it removed its own heart to give it to Dan in the same exact gesture with which Herbert showed Dan the heart earlier.

Pure heterosexual coincidence, of course. There is absolutely nothing odd about Herbert's gift to Daniel being a grotesque amalgamation of everyone Dan loved instead of him and everything those people had to offer Dan, fueled by the pumping of Megan's heart (whom Herbert had hated and competed with), a heart both stolen and offered willingly, one both frozen and thawed, both beating and dead. There Dan stays, too close, yet too far. (am i reading into it- You Bet)

Yup. Pure coincidence. And also nothing suspicious about it being a creature created of such concentrated love, reverence, devotion, and bitter fear of rejection, that at the moment of being pushed away, it entirely self destructs because its only purpose was to love Dan and be loved by him. Its only purpose was to be perfect for Dan, to be enough for him, to be some action of Herberts blood sweat and tears that could ever be wanted by him. But of course Herbert doesn't understand Daniel - understand people - as well as he hoped too. Dan is horrified. No clearer rejection than that. If we see her as an extension of Herbert, it's obviously the last straw. Herbert truly did everything for Dan, not only was he still unlovable, but repulsive, an affront to... what have you; god, nature, some simple short-sighted ideal of what a human should be. Above that Dan could see the seams of the uncanny imitation of his past loves, and the love that laid beneath was too much for him. Too loud, too fast, too raw and bloody. So it dies. The heart is given, and thrown away.

What I'm trying to say is that shit was crazy. Herbert could have done a much more cut and dry baby trap. He could have reanimated some random kid, forcing Dan to stick around and protect it. That would have been its own special kind of fucked up and is probably a good fanfic prompt. But noooo, Herbert had to do the most psychosexual, convoluted, batshit, traumatizing, bloody, gory, and frankly unnecessary declaration of love that could be achieved by one little scientist with nothing to his name but a little green potion and every mental illness. I for one think it was a fantastic idea.

No tldr, ur just gonna have to match my freak on this one. Hope my mad ramblings made some sense. Peace and love

[verysanebsdfan]

My favs x bday!reader

Saiki Kusuo (the disastrous life of saiki k), Muichiro Tokito (demon slayer), Killua Zoldyck (hunter x hunter), Neuvillette(genshin impact), Dazai Osamu (bungo stray dogs), our!Ciel Phantomhive (black butler) (seperately) x bday!reader

Synopsis: them with s/o who has birthday, how they celebrate, what do they do etc.

MASTERLIST!!

Notes: IT'S MY BDAY GUYSSS!!! I honestly wanna go back to being a little child, but oh well, i still have a few years. probably contains grammatical errors but oh well. not proofread. Am I happy with it? no. Am I gonna publish this? absolutely. i also wanted to include Bram Stoker from bsd but my brain was blank and i had no ideasss :((

cw: none i think?

☆*: .｡. o .｡.:*☆*: .｡. o .｡.:*☆*: .｡. o .｡.:*☆*: .｡. o .｡.:*☆*: .｡. o .｡.:*☆

Saiki Kusuo:

Would not make you a surprise party, but i feel like he would buy you your favourite cake, pastry, sweets, snack...just something that he know would make you happy. Nothing extravagant, just an average present, from an average guy. It's the thought that counts<3 Would like to spend some quality time with you, but if you wanna hang out with friends or spend time with family, he doesnt mind. He would make sure everything goes smoothly and you would be safe tho<3 Prolly wouldnt make a big deal out of this...It is just birthday after all, but he loves to see you happy soo<3

Happy birthday y/n...i hope you like the (favourite dessert) i got you

Muichiro Tokito:

It really depends, if you are a demon slayer, you would maybe have private training session, and a cute lunch on a break. Now if you aren't a demon slayer (condolences) he'd make time for you'd watch clouds together, eat lunch and spend some time together, but he is busy so... :( I bet he was smiling teh rest fo teh day though :3

Look...that clouds looks just like (favourite animal)...happy birthday y/n...i love you

Killua Zoldyck:

Thinks celebrating something like an anniversary of your birth is stupid :3 Would definitely ask Gon for gift ideas<3 Now, if you are helping Gon find his dad too, I feel like you two would end up having a play fight of a sort? Yk, to train your nen:3 But if you dont, or its already some time after the og plot line, he'd take you on a date, and give you choco robots! Tease you a little too!

look at yourself, in a few years, i wont even be able to call you a baby :3 is it just me or youre even more beatiful? must come witha age:3 Happy Birthday silly:3

Neuvillette:

Humans celebrate the anniversary of their birth? Why? He asks, why celebrate being even closer to death. It scared him...your death...It's so close, yet so far. When you explained him that it's to commemorate your past years, and celebrate what's to come. he understood, after all, humans have only finite amount of years to live, so he was going to make yours the best possible. He would clear up his schedule, or at least try. He would get you flowers and then he would take you to a romantic dinner to the finest restaurant in all of Fontaine, and then to a romantic walk by the shore, to watch otters (:3) He hopes many of these so called birthdays of yours would come.

Mon amour...we should do this more often, not only on special occasions...I love you so much...and these..."birthdays" only remind me of...future without you...

Dazai Osamu:

My man will ask you to commit double suicide i am not even joking. Honestly would either not gaf about your birthday or would be really attentive and romantic and i cannot decide.

Would you be willing to commit double suicide with me, on this important day? *smack*

our!Ciel Phantomhive:

It's not like i am lazy to write, but it's really hard to think of anything okay. I believe you would have tea party. A lot of Earl grey tea, a lot of sweets...and chess or other board games. You will just spend quality time with him...and technically Sebastian too, since he will be tending to your needs, and preparing all the food :3

Happy birthday dearest, i hope the cake is to your liking, i had Sebastian prepare it out of the finest ingredients

[twisted-tales-of-all]

BEEP BOOP ITS ME

Can I request “It’s hard to sit here and be close to you and not kiss you.” And “ meet me in my dreams and stay for a while.” With Yunho please 👁️👁️

Hello Love <3 don't melt too much reading it mkay?

Pairing: Yunho x gender ambiguous reader Genre: fluff, boyfriend!Yunho, idol!Yunho Rating: G/PG, E for Everyone, whatever you want to call it Word Count: 591 Contains: an absolutely gut-wrenching amount of fluff, a proposal, and a kiss, that's about it

"I don't want you to leave. I miss you so much every time you have tours." You whine at your boyfriend as the day turns to night.

Sitting on the rooftop and watching the sun slip fully behind the horizon, you sigh. Although you've always preferred the night and its glistening stars, this night brings alongside its beauty the reminder that Yunho flies out as the sun rises in the morning.

"I know, bun. Believe me, if I had the choice to bring you without putting any risk on you, I would never leave you behind. Ever."

He turns towards you with an intensity in his eyes you haven't seen in years; one you only witnessed directed at you when he insisted that, if you agreed to brave a relationship with him six years ago, he'd keep you safe from over-attached fans no matter what. You cannot help as your heartbeat speeds up; you cannot move nor look away despite the goosebumps attacking your body and trying to make you shiver. Time halts in the beat of silence before his next statement.

"I would love to keep you by my side forever. In this life and the next. Awake, asleep, no matter the time."

He pauses, but your nerves built up under his gaze cannot handle even the smallest moment of silence, so words stumble out from your lips, "Then, meet me in my dreams and stay for a while. That way, it won't feel so lonely while you're gone in the waking world."

Your comment seems to loosen him up a bit. His eyes soften, and he cracks a smile as a chuckle breaks through his seriousness. Shaking his head at himself, seemingly dismissing thoughts he was holding to himself, he finds his words again.

"Gladly. I'll find you in your dreams and on any other plane of existence we end up in. No matter how long it takes, I will always find you. Whether it's in a sea of people or amongst the thousands of stars above, I am yours so I will find you. So, if you'll allow me, I'd like to leave you with more than just dreams of me."

He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a small jewelry box. Twisting his body completely in your direction, he ends upon one knee. Your breath catches in your throat and your senses still as he opens the box to reveal a ring even more gorgeous than you imagined. He implemented every little comment you've made about rings over the past years and added personalized touches that only Yunho could bring to life.

"Y/N, will you marry me?"

The tears clog your throat, and you already lost control of your body moments before his question, so you can't respond despite screaming 'yes' inside repeatedly.

"It is so hard to sit here and be this close to you and not kiss you right now. Even a small head movement will do if you can't speak."

The silly smile on his face gives you enough control to nod vigorously, so he leans over immediately and kisses you deeply before remembering the order he was supposed to go. Backing up slightly, he finds the proper hand and slips the ring on your finger.

"Y/N, you are perfect. I'm so far beyond happy that you're mine."

"I will be yours forever if you let me. As long as you can be mine forever, too."

"That sounds like a deal, and I will gladly shout it out to everyone, my love."

[billybob598]

Secret Recipe (Lucy Bronze x Reader)

Another fic LFG!!!!!! This was requested by the anon who asked for a Lucy x Secret wife chef reader. Hope this is what you wanted! Got a Katie McCabe fic next. As always, any feedback good or bad welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.3K (LFG!!!!)

For years now whenever Lucy came to camp she would have lots of packed lunches to fend off her hunger. The girls sometimes gave her a hard time about it, but for the most part, they don’t think too much about it most of the time. That is until one day Keira missed the served lunch due to a meeting. Keira was really starting to get hungry, but all the food was gone and they had training again soon so it’s not like she could make a quick sandwich or something. Then, Lucy became Keira’s saviour when she shoved a brown paper bag at her. At first, Keira was confused, but then it dawned on her that it was the same type of bag that Lucy always brought her packed lunches in. She gratefully grabbed the bag mumbling out a thanks before eagerly ripped open the bag. The team had never seen Keira so excited about food before. It was a mixture of her own hunger and curiosity as to what was in the bag that fueled Keira as she devoured the contents of the bag. In the bag, there was a container of what Lucy called burrito bowl. After each bite, Keira would let out a satisfied sound, a sound that had all the other girls giggling at her. She was too in love with the food to care. 

“If you were eating this right now, you’d be making these noises too,” she tries to defend herself as everyone keeps laughing. 

“Is it good?” Georgia asks.

“Unbelievably good,” Keria says, shovelling more food into her mouth.

“Wait, wait how is it really good? Lucy sucks at cooking,” Lucy goes to protest, but Millie keeps on talking, “Don’t even deny it Luce, there’s no way you could make something Keira likes that much.” 

For the rest of camp, Lucy gets bombarded with questions on how she’s getting these packed lunches. The team just cannot seem to figure it out.

“Maybe she buys them?”

“No, no they’re definitely not bought, she brings them in like plastic containers.”

“What if she gets her mum to make them?”

“Nope, her mum lives too far away for that.”

“What if she’s got like a deal with a mob boss, so they make her lunch in exchange for her to keep her mouth shut.”

Everyone really seems to like the last idea Rachael suggested. Lucy just rolls her eyes at their silliness. 

“Well, you’re all wrong. What if I actually do make them all by myself?” She remarks. Everyone makes disbelieving noises.

“There’s absolutely no way you can make food that good and that often,” Georgia says. Lucy did have to concede that one, it was a well-known fact that Lucy could make a decent meal every once and a while, but every day? No way. 

On the last night of camp, Lucy decides to Facetime you, she had told you about the incident, and you actually found it really hilarious. As she was telling you about their latest ideas you can’t help but let out a little snort,

“They think you have a deal with the mafia?” You say while trying to hold back your laughter.

“Yep, they’re so dumb. And also, do I really seem like someone involved with the mafia?” 

“I mean, you do kinda give off those vibes, love.” The look of betrayal on Lucy’s face has you in stitches. 

“You better stop laughing Y/N. I would hate for you to be offed by a mob boss,” she says with a grin. 

You guys continue to talk for a bit when you ask her about something that had been nagging you for a bit.

“Why don’t you just tell them about us?” The question was very out of the blue so, it caught Lucy off guard. 

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you just tell them that you’re married and that your wife makes your lunches and everything? Why keep it a secret anymore? They’re going to figure it out soon.” You weren’t mad at her, you were just curious as to why she never wanted to tell the team about you guys.

“I don’t know babe. It’s just easier. Plus, if I told them about you, they’d definitely want to meet you,” she sighs. 

“I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m not sure if you would, they can be very…overbearing,” Lucy warns you.

“Come on Luce. I spend like twelve hours a day overlooking a kitchen and dealing with other peoples’ problems as if I’m their mom. I’m sure I can handle twenty footballers,” you say confidently.

“Okay, then. How about I invite them over for dinner in a couple of days? I’m sure they’d love for you to cook for them,” Luce suggests. You nod happily, excited at the prospect of finally meeting all of Lucy’s friends. 

When Lucy invites the team over the next day she gets a lot of excited murmurs and questions on whether she was cooking or not. She’s seen the girls loud, but it was something else when she told them that her wife would be cooking. After announcing that, she very swiftly made her exit.

As the first Lionesses make their way inside you and Lucy’s house, they can’t believe all the pictures of you and her.

“This is her, right?” Lotte says as she points at a photo of you and Lucy on your wedding day.

“Yup, that’s Y/N,” Lucy says with a proud smile.

“She’s really pretty.” Everyone snickers at the glare Lucy gives to Lotte. “Is she in the kitchen?” Lucy nods and shows them the way. 

You look up when you hear loud voices carry into the kitchen. Wiping your hands off, you make your way around the island to meet everybody.

“This is Y/N, my wife,” Lucy introduces you. You hear a chorus of “Hi Y/N”s. You give them all a warm smile before they start banging out questions,

“So you guys are married?”

“How long have you been married?”

“Why didn’t we know about you sooner?”

“Are you actually a cook?”

“Do you own a restaurant?”

“What’s your favourite dish to make?”

So, you make all of Lucy’s lunches then?”

You are a bit surprised, but you compose yourself and answer all their questions,

“Yup, we’re married and have been for five years now. After we got married we just thought it easier to keep it on the down-low so we could focus on our careers. I am actually a chef, and I run Midsummer House which has two Michelin stars and is in Cambridge. At the restaurant we always make lots of fancy dishes, but sometimes I just like making pepperoni pizza. Yes, I make all of Lucy’s lunches for camp.”

As the night progresses, you can understand why Lucy likes going to national team camp so much, everyone is extremely kind to you and there is lots of banter and telling stories that you haven’t heard yet. You get a number of compliments on the food you had prepared for dinner. Rachael starts complaining about how it’s unfair that only Lucy gets your packed lunches. You laugh stating that something could be arranged for the team. This gets everyone very excited and makes it a little harder to get everyone out of the house after. All in all, it was a pretty successful first time meeting the Lionesses. As you clean up the dishes, you feel someone’s arms wrap around you from behind.

“Everything was delicious, love,” Lucy whispers into your ear.

“You liked it? It was a new recipe,” you reply, still washing some things.

“Mhm, it was very good,” you turn around in her arms and give her a kiss. She sighs into the kiss before pulling away and helping with the clean up.

The next camp, everyone is ecstatic when you show up to St. George’s Park with twenty-three packed lunches and a big smile.

[kittybroker]

Intro post!

I'll reblog cat pictures and value the kitty.

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Rules for submission: Please no real people or anthropomorphized cats. Anything that is pretty much just human is a big no go zone for evaluation (particularly evaluating real people). As long as it's clearly an animal I don't really care. Do not tag me into more than 2-3 posts at a time.

FAQ

Why hasn't my ask been answered? I get a lot of asks, and I can't answer everything. It usually takes a few days to a week to get around to answering an ask. Sometimes the ask may also contain a submission that cannot be posted, ie you submitted a real person, a cat in the harmful situation or with wounds. For text based asks I cannot get to everything and am frequently inundated with comments. Not all will get a response. If you ask a question answered in the FAQ I will not answer.

How do you evaluate the kitties? The economy guides my hand, I merely see the truth of what is already there.

I tagged you into a post, but you never responded? I get a lot of tags, and often a lot of the same post. I will try to avoid responding to the same post multiple times (sometimes I forget!). Sometimes I just have so many tagged posts to get to I have to cut some out. I do see every tagged post though so you're post will still be seen, even if not answered.

What is the most valuable kitty ever? Our current estimates would put Intergalactic Shiro, now at an impressive 720000000000

What currency are the kitties evaluated in? They are all in Kitty Dollars. I've never heard of this "USD" or "Euro" stuff. None of it is real.

I want to tag you in a post, but I don't know how? To tag me into a post you will need to reblog the post and add the tag into the text field of the post (no the tags!). If you type @kittybroker you should see this blog appear in a dropdown menu. Select kittybroker and then reblogging the post. You can also tag me into the replies of posts by opening the notes, heading to the replies section and tagging me there with the same method.

Can I submit myself? Many before have attempted this perilous feat. Yet I remain strong. No real people will be evaluated!

Do you have a cat? I do, although I rarely post it out of both privacy concerns and the sheer number of other kitties sent in. The rare occasion I do however they will all be tagged. His name is Boris and he is around nine years old. He is very crazy.

That is all for now! Remember to stay crazy and kitty!

[catsvrsdogscatswin]

Since there’s a bit of a hiatus in Dracula Daily right now, I thought I’d take the opportunity to ramble about what I know of vampiric folklore and history in Europe because I cannot contain my infodump and it’s actually really interesting.

Painting it in very broad strokes, the earliest folkloric creature we would recognize as a vampire was acknowledged in Europe in the 1100s and earlier as a human corpse that physically rose from their grave and returned to their former home/village to drink blood. (A 12th-century English text, The Life and Miracles of St. Modwenna, mentions two examples of this type of vampire.) These vampires’ victims did not become vampires as well, but sickened and died, usually from wasting diseases. What caused the original person to become a vampire was variable, but usually involved being, just, an absolute jerk when they were alive, or an increasingly convoluted series of ways in which they attracted bad luck/evil while they lived, after they died, or as they were buried.

This is where the traditions of stuffing a stone in the potential vampire’s mouth, decapitating them and putting the head in the grave between their knees, burying them facedown, cutting off their hands or feet, burying them in a too-small grave, piling stones atop the grave, or burying them with broken legs came from. All of these are regional or historical variations on ways to quite literally prevent the presumed vampire from digging their way out of the grave and causing trouble: an “And stay down there!” maneuver that we’ll see survive into modern pop culture in the form of a stake through the heart.

This was the predominant form of vampirism up until roughly the 1700s: someone nasty in the village died, and after a while, would start reappearing to their family or loved ones at night, slowly draining their lives away as they fell to a wasting disease like tuberculosis or leprosy. Once the villagers caught on, they would exhume the body, find it suspiciously preserved and with blood trickling from its mouth, and then take steps to neutralize the vampiric threat by beheading, staking it through the heart to literally pin it in the grave, stuff a stone in its mouth, or a combination of all three. 

(You may have heard of the Venetian mass-burial plague pit an archeological team discovered: one of the skeletons had a brick shoved in her mouth. She was the only body treated in such a way, implying that she was thought to have been a vampire: hypothetically even the vampire that caused this local upswing of the plague.)

A cultural shift happened in the 18th century, however, when the Austro-Hungarian Empire gained territory in Serbia and other portions of the Balkans. Since they were neighbors with the Ottoman Empire, the Austro-Hungarians kept a heavy military presence in these new territories, and the emperor of the time (Charles VI, I believe) asked the occupying forces to collect reports on the local customs and folklore and send them back.

A number of the reports they sent back included vampire stories.

Now, this was the Age of Enlightenment: many countries were pulling away from old superstitions and following the new methods of science. Belief in vampirism was a rural thing, and widespread plague situations had faded enough that they really weren’t relevant anymore and had fallen out of a lot of people’s memory. 

But the thing was... science was still new, and this whole vampirism thing sounded just plausible enough to be extremely interesting. The Austro-Hungarians sent all sorts of scientists, doctors, and clergy members to collect and dissect and discuss these stories, and for a short spate of time vampirism was the hot new discussion topic in esoteric circles. And for then and a while after, if you wanted case studies, debates, and just about any reference material on vampires, you knew you’d find it in Austro-Hungary’s library.

Eventually the scientific community all concluded that this vampirism thing was just silly peasants not understanding the process of decay, but the arts crowd -particularly the Sturm und Drang folks in Germany- remained very interested in this exotic new creature steeped in mystery and death. Sturm und Drang translates to “storm and stress” and if I had to describe their style in modern terms, I would say (roughly, and with affection) “a love of edgy tragedies.”

There were a number of poems and works spawned from this flurry of interest, but this Austrian version of the vampire still shared a common theme: more like a revenant than anything else, coming for their loved ones first, and a lot of their horror was tied up in how blasphemous and unChristian their very existence was. Less emphasis was placed on getting rid of the vampire and more was placed on the artistic allure of vengeance from beyond the grave and the vampire’s inherent exotic mysticism and threat.

Stoker, in fact, directly references an example of this in Dracula! On May 5th, when Dracula’s telling the coach driver that he knew they were trying to get Jonathan out of there before he showed up, because he himself drove fast enough to intercept them, one of the other passengers whispers to his friend “Denn die Todten reiten schnell,” which translates roughly to “For the dead ride fast,” a quote from Burger’s Lenore.

Lenore is a poem about a young woman whose fiancé died in the Seven Years’ War (connection with Austro-Hungary). In her despair, she curses god (old-school invitation for vampirism), and the following night, her lover knocks on her door to take her on horseback to their marriage bed (vampires attack their loved ones first). He takes her on an increasingly terrifying ride through the night, prompting the above quote, which ends in a graveyard, where he is revealed to be a skeleton and Lenore dies.  

Lenore was written in 1774, and although William is not technically a vampire, the poem is an example of the old-school vampire type. The vampire is a physical reanimated corpse that does not create more of its kind, but causes the people around them to die/waste away, and attacks their loved ones before anyone else. The transition to what we finally would recognize as a modern vampire started with Carmilla and was solidified in Dracula.

Written in 1872, Carmilla is a blending of both old and modern vampiric tropes. It uses the then-expected setting of the Austrian Empire, all of the titular vampire’s victims wasted away and died rather than rising as vampires themselves, and Carmilla’s coffin was filled with blood when she was unearthed. However, she was also able to shapeshift into a cat and walk through walls -no longer just a revenant- and she could walk around during the day without harm. She also does not target the people she knew and loved in life first: Carmilla is a vampire centuries old and her current victims are chosen indiscriminately. The vampire as a folkloric creature was evolving.

And, side note, while it was used partially as a narrative device to show how evil and unnatural Carmilla was, she was also gay. Gay as fuck. People who lost their shit at 

“Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper: ‘Yes, I too can love’” 

will go absolutely mental at Laura going

“It was like the ardour of a lover; it embarrassed me; it was hateful and yet overpowering; and with gloating eyes she drew me to her, and her hot lips travelled along my cheek in kisses; and she would whisper, almost in sobs, ‘You are mine, you shall be mine, and you and I are one for ever.’"

Anyway. Queerness is baked into the concept of the modern vampire from the very beginning, what of it.

With Carmilla as the springboard, though, Stoker was free to finally create Dracula, which was essentially the turning point between modern and archaic vampire depictions. He took all of the old stuff and reworked, revamped (heh), or added to it to get the foundation of the stereotypical vampire we know today.

He shifted the geographic vampire hotspot further over from Austria-Hungary, landing it in neighboring Transylvania. Dracula’s victims weaken and die and seem to be inflicted with a strange wasting disease, but can also turn into vampires themselves. Driving a stake through his heart and cutting off his head is no longer an attempt to pin him in his grave and keep him from rising, but merely to destroy him. He was dead, yes, and very unholy, but he also had powers beyond merely being a risen corpse, and his power set became the standard for future vampire media.

Hence, Dracula becomes the foundation for the modern concept of a vampire, which is why pop culture usually treats it as the beginning point of vampirism in general.

[stardustlin]

Miguel with reader who is thick af like knocking shit over with her ass type of thick

miguel o’hara x thick! fem reader

cw// i’m so bad at warnings but smut; no plot, nsfw 18+, suggestive/vulgar things LOL (silly too ig) submissive! miguel, dominant! fem reader, blowjob, orgasm denial

as you stroke his hair, caressing his scalp, miguel gazes up at you with an eager expression, his brown eyes filled with anticipation and desire. he cannot help but admire your voluptuous form, your curvaceous, thick body that could knock over furniture with just a sway of your hips.

“por favor, que rico," he murmurs, his voice laced with hunger. "you look absolutely stunning, so thick and irresistible." you can't help but feel a surge of confidence as miguel appreciates your body. you press a finger to his lips, shushing him gently.

“patience, miguel," you tease, your voice smoky with desire. "your reward will come, but first, i want to make sure you're nice and primed, ready to take me." his eyes widen at your words, his breath hitching in his throat. you guide him to sit up, his muscled body pressing against yours, his hands wandering over your curves. his touch is firm yet gentle, worshiping every inch of your lush figure.

with a sultry grin, you lead him to the bed, pushing him down on his back. his eyes drink in the sight of your thick body as you slowly undress, revealing your ample breasts, wide hips, and plump rear, accentuated by your lacy lingerie that struggles to contain your voluptuousness. climbing onto the bed, you straddle him, teasingly grinding your ass against his throbbing length. you can feel the heat and hardness radiating from him, matching your own desire.

“mmmm, niguel," you purr, your voice dripping with seduction. "you’ve been such a good boy, pleasing me with your tongue. now it's my turn to pleasure you." you lean down, your full lips hovering above his, teasingly brushing against each other. a low growl escapes his throat as he yearns for the kiss that you deny him. instead, you move lower, your lips tracing a path down his chiseled chest, over his sculpted abs, until you reach his aching manhood.

guided by your natural instincts, your mouth engulfs him, your tongue swirling around his impressive length. the sensation leaves him breathless, his body trembling with pleasure. he can't help but grab onto the sheets, his fingers clenching tightly.

“oh shit!" he gasps, his voice thick with need. "please, don't stop mami." with a soft giggle, you continue to pleasure him, bobbing your head, taking him deeper with each stroke. your hand joins the sensual dance, caressing his heavy balls, adding another layer of pleasure and intensity to his experience.

miguel's hips buck in response, his moans echoing through the room. he feels the familiar touch of ecstasy building within him, the intense pleasure threatening to consume him completely. “oooh i’m so close," he groans, his voice filled with urgency. "let me come for you.”

you pull back, a wicked glint in your eyes as you deny him release. “not yet, miguel," you whisper, your voice laced with dominance. "i want to prolong your pleasure. i want to taste every inch of you." a mix of frustration and anticipation floods miguel’s face as he obediently waits for your next move, fully surrendering to your desires.

a/n: lmk i’ll do a part 2…i gave up lately i’ve been so unmotivated plus i’ve been doing my college apps to transfer (i’m 19 but i go to CC)

tags 🏷️!! @kairiscorner @emiemiemiii @astro1bloom @obi-mom-kenobi @meeom @sabcandoit

[wandagcre]

Sam’s Christmas kinks? pls 🥺

WARNING: temperature play, roleplay, use of gags, rope bondage, humiliation, spanking, face-sitting, overstimulation | 18+ men & minors dni.

you both didn't plan it really. or at least, you did not...

but it escalated to something frisky anyway! courtesy of sam doing the spanking and looking for miniscule excuses just so she can put you in her naughty list and spank you until your ass stings in mild pain and tender

at the couch, you're laying in your stomach at sam's lap. she softly ran her hand on your thighs up then your ass, hiking up your dress for tonight's celebration with your family

"know that song about 12 days of christmas? count 12 spanks for me, baby."

you miraculously pull through it and your ass hurts. sam only says 'treats come in later' but oh, you wanted to be fucked so bad. all you can think about while mingling is sam's touch...

sam knows all about it and was internally gloating at the thought. she's surely going to surprise you even more later

in theme for the christmas spirit, you have a nice and naughty gift boxes. nice contains something nonsexual, a thoughtful gift that moves your heart.

and naughty? contains an object for your bedroom activities – making your pussy twitch. you didn't think sam was into this — she gifted you a collar. it had her name and a bell right in the middle.

sam is super into the holiday spirit and she blew your mind how far she was willing to incorporate it in the bedroom!

"the bell? it's multipurpose, baby. it will help me know whether you moved when i strictly ordered you not to. and well... i also need to hear a reminder how exactly rough i'm fucking you with its relentless ringing along your screams."

safe to say you're soaked wet now at sam's teasing. you're hoping that you will survive this goddamn supposed wholesome gathering. you cannot wait to be railed by sam already as she deliciously elaborated.

"guess i am your gift," it was a silly get-up at first, but the glint of absolute delight in sam's eyes and her mouth agape as you presented the slutty santa claus outfit... it fueled the tension even more. it was so rewarding!

sam replaces the santa hat on top of your head with a reindeer headband. "there. much more fitting since i'm going to use you, riding you all night baby."

and sam doesn't stop there. she quipped, "thought you were my present. why don't i see a ribbon all over you?" and proceeds to tie you up with rope and a makeshift bow out of a ribbon she found lying somewhere else, placed on your mouth as a gag 😮‍💨

sam is so into it, you're laid down while you she makes you eat her out. riding your face until you feel all of her weight challenging your neck and mouth that is coated with her arousal 😵‍💫

she doesn't stop there, sam gets up and left you in confusion for few minutes. she comes back with a bowl of ice cubes, some aphrodisiac strawberries and teases you with it, trailing them over your now-shivering body

she didn't hear the bell make a sound. you stayed still as she wanted. "aw, my good girl barely moved?" you preened over the praise ;(

she targets your erogenous areas. she makes you eat some first but orders you to suck the strawberries before biting through them. then sam traces an ice cube on your neck and lower tummy

while tied up you can't do anything but squirm ahh ;( your brain is all fuzzy bc you wanted it to be over AND you didn't want to, at the same time

your nipples aren't safe either. the cold hitting you in such spot made you moan so loud and arch your back helplessly to which sam deviously chuckles at. it's so humiliating ;( but you wanted to be nice - a good girl for sam - so you refuse to complain, only whimpering in gratitude

sam takes a bite of the aphrodisiac strawberries too, removes the poorly made ribbon gag, and pulls you in for a rough kiss. the sweetness and distinct taste of sam that lingered in your tastebuds? both of you were so turned on and felt frenzied, sooo worked up

you're so turned on as sam wanted and you reason out how you have been nice and obedient. sam takes pity and finally takes care of your throbbing pussy.

"it's the giving season, after all. so, I won't stop fingering you until I think you had enough." you came for four times already and sam hasn't shown any signs of stopping just yet.

the collar on your neck won't stop ringing as she fingers you into oblivion 🤕 it was a rather moany christmas indeed ;)