#the VIBES of that shit my GODS yanno????

[spotsupstuff]

is there any particular reason as to why your gen 2 iterators have more human-like anatomy? or do you just like how it looks? i kept looking at euros and finding quite odd how he has human feet even though humans (supposedly) don't actually exist in the rw universe

while i was designing them all i was thinking about was "wouldn't it be funny if ancients got Really close to inventing the human shape in a world where that shape has no root, but then were like 'mm.. nah! this shape Sucks let's try something Else' and pushed all that We are off the table in favor of the fucked up lookin Gen 3 designs? ...yeah. yeah it would. irl humans aren't aware enough that we are in the same bag as horses when it comes to shit evolution lol, lessa goooo"

BUT! i will admit to u right here and right now without any issue- when it comes to Gen 2 feet, the very very human like shape that i've been using lately wasn't originally in the plan! those peets were meant to look more like shoes. if u look at the big OC post u can still see that as well! (Fish even still has very shoe-like feet. he didn't change cuz he's an old fuck for a Gen 2)

the design came closer to the look of our bare feet while i was poking at Suns' design in their prime. since i wanted only to put down some ideas for their outfit + maybe look into the feelings their vibes and appearance should evoke, i went with a different style than i usually go with while drawing itties to reach for a more... ethereal and flowy, maybe? feel to it n that included the feet being drawn Like That

i'll give in, here's one of my more successful attempts at 'em in their prime (not the completely finalized design tho)

i REALLY liked it n because of my Happye i decided to draw other Gen 2s with that as well. so yes. it's cuz my eyeball thinks it's nice 👁

(but also like,, those toes r not separate, that shit is more like neat lil painted lines for the sake of the imagery JSNFJNKS)

[temptaetions]

cinnamon sugar 🌙 k.sm (m)

a/n: the photo above is from seungmin's instagram. i don't own the media, but i sure was blessed to see it. anyway, i think this is my first post with like...actual smut in it. please forgive me, because it is so shitty, i'm so bad at writing it. anyway, uhm, enjoy! my anon ask is now on, if you'd like to send any requests in!

synopsis: her lips taste sweet, like cinnamon sugar...she's such a treat.

genre: best friends to lovers | idiots in love | x fem!reader | smut | fluff | angst

pairing(s): best friend!kim seungmin x virgin!reader

word count: 6k. lowercase intended.

rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

warning(s): swearing, mutual pining, a lot of emotional turmoil from both parties, horribly written smut [between k.sm x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, soft d/s themes, (slight) overuse of pet names (angel, sweetheart) oral (f. receiving), paragraphs of praise, so much kissing, some grinding, the lightest amount of nipple play. riding/missionary, crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, they stare into each others eyes and hold hands while fucking oh my god]. this is slightly self indulgent but the guilt i feel after writing it, and so badly at that, is overwhelming.

what to listen to: gaze - sweetback | eat it - megan thee stallion | agora hills - doja cat | real love - mary j. blige | whatta man - salt-n-pepa & en vogue

message from: seungmin🧸🤎

[7:32pm] i’m coming to pick u up, i want a cinnabon.

message to: seungmin🧸🤎

[7:33pm] ur paying 🤑

"can i get aux?" you say as you slide into seungmin's car. the leather of the passenger seat was cool to the touch, a sign that nobody had sat in your self-assigned seat. "hello to you too, best friend. how was my day? oh, it was lovely! it's so nice to see you, too!" "oh, shut up, min. you don't give a shit if i ask those questions or not." you chuckle, snatching his aux cable out of the center console. "you know me so well, fuck. i hate small talk. just merge souls with me." you and seungmin had been best friends for over ten years. he knew you inside and out - from your scalp to the bottom of your feet (including the scar from his razor scooter slamming into your ankle at age sixteen.)

you shared a lot of interests, but none as intense as your love of music and cinnamon rolls. he was always at your dance recitals. your biggest fan, really. he cheered, but never showed you more praise than necessary.

"i need you to stay humble, it helps me tolerate you." he murmured into your hair after one recital last year. you just shook your head in amusement, holding it high as you let him march you to his car for dinner.

"oh, i updated our playlist! i have a few new things on here." you said excitedly as you scrolled through the playlists on your homepage. you shared this love language – you had dozens of collaborative playlists with user ksm922, and you giggled at the ugly photos of the two of you he often used for the covers.

"sure." he shrugs, using his pinky to turn the volume dial up. your eyes trail on his slender fingers as they return to the wheel, but you shake it off just as quickly. pressing play, you let the smooth r&b sounds fill the car.

"oh, this is nice. what is this?" seungmin nods his head along to it, and you glance at the screen. "gaze by sweetback. it played on my sade station, and the vibes are just so kim seungmin, yanno?" you close your eyes and fake being a disc-jockey, his hand coming to pinch your arm lightly, a chuckle playing on his lips. "stop that, you'd be a horrible deejay."

"are you sure this isn't about sex? geez, bub, act like you get some." he teases, and you swat his arm. "i do get some!" "oh yeah? from who?" his eyes are trained on the road as he bullies you about your sex life (or lack thereof), allowing you a moment to stare at his ringed fingers. oh, the way they gripped the wheel, they could so easily grip your neck–

shut up, y/n.

"your mom." you huff, crossing your arms with a pout. you hated this conversation, and you often avoided it with him. yes, seungmin was your best friend, but you never wanted to talk about your sex life with him. he had experiences…and you heard from so many people how good it was.

with him, to be specific.

"what are we, thirteen? you wish my mother would breathe in your direction, you fucking virgin." he scoffs, and you force a snicker out. you glance at your phone, a smirk threatening to escape as it started. "oh, this one is good. turn it up!" he obliged, not even giving the screen a second look.

you settle in your seat as megan thee stallion's voice blares through the speakers, muffling a soft laugh behind your hand. seungmin hated the idea of you being a sexual being, and you often used it to bother him. you liked seeing him get red in the face, and squirm. it doesn't mean you understood it, but it was hilarious.

legs shakin', hit it 'til the bed breaking…bed springing, talk to it…

seungmin's mouth is agape, his cheeks firetruck red…

i don't want just one nut, daddy, i need the whole tree, ah…

…before his nimble fingers press skip. 

"are you serious, y/n? in my christian minecraft server?" his eyes are still fixed on the road, his knuckles turning white from his hold on the steering wheel. weird.

"it's megan! i love her, she's the hot girl coach. you don't want me to be a virgin forever, do you?" you joke, and he scrunches his nose. "since when do you listen to music about getting your…ugh, whatever. don't ever bring up sex appeal, you repulse me." you laugh loudly, your hand going to pinch his cheek softly. "you're so cute when you get flustered, min. here, i'll play pretty boy by the neighbourhood in your honor."

he can't stop thinking about it. it's been four hours since you played the song in the car, and it's still stuck in his head. well, what he did hear.

you, inherently, did not come across as a sexual being. you didn't, and that wasn't seungmin being just a platonic, nice friend – you genuinely did not care to be the core of anyone's sexual desire. you wore oversized shirts and loose jeans, the occasional dress paired with black pantyhose and boots. "gotta hide my ankles, minnie. that's how they getcha." but thinking about you…listening to that song? your hips winding down on some other man like he's seen you do on stage? hell, some other man's face when he's right here?

it made him sick.

and you were so beautifully unaware as you swirled your fork in your cinnamon roll, bringing the tines to your lips and sucking the icing clean off them. not a second lick or adjustment, just straight off. he felt his cheeks heat as his cock twitched in his pants, and he almost missed you waving your fingers in his face. "yo, you good? you seem distracted." you have a bit of icing on your lip, and he subconsciously reaches over to wipe it off. your eyes are wide as he does so, and he doesn't know why he can't move his thumb from your lip. he doesn't know why everything feels like it's moving in slow motion, and he just watches as you instinctively suck your lip between your teeth at the loss of contact.

you're so pretty, fuck, you're so pretty.

"i'm good. do you want to go?" he's surprised to hear his own voice, and you nod absently. he was acting weird, he knew he was, but he feels like there's a fog in his brain that he can't shake. maybe it was the way he'd memorized every curve of your body, from watching your fluid dances. maybe it was the way that you smiled so innocently, you were so innocent. your eyes big and pure, your heart full, your mind…naïve.

he didn't understand the sudden urge to ruin you, but he knew he had to get over it, and fast.

"fuck." he groans, and your head whips around to look at him. "you okay?"

he nods quickly, his hand landing on the small of your back to guide you to the car faster. "min, if you have to shit, you can just say that." "ugh, shut up. you always say the most unhinged shit. no wonder you can't get laid." he rolls his eyes, and you just laugh. "trust me, it's not for lack of opportunity." you let him open the door for you, and you wink at him playfully, his fingers flicking your forehead before shutting the door. it was true, multiple of your friends had offered to…deflower you. hyunjin, on your dance team. minho, on your production team. felix, your choreographer. even their friends in the music department had offered, and you simply smiled, shaking your head at them. "i just like to flirt, your dick is your problem."

but much like seungmin, they had all seen the way you moved. how easily you sunk to your knees, how smooth your gyrations were, the way you looked like you enjoyed it. you felt good knowing people were attracted to you, but it never compared to what you believed was seungmin's innocent gaze.

it was weird to want more from him, and it pained you, slightly. he was cute, your best friend. cute, experienced, and he knew you. he knew you so well, what could go wrong? he could reject you, that's what.

you're in your own head when you realize the car has been moving, and rather fast, at that. "min, seriously. are you shitting your pants?" you roll your eyes, and he brings the car to a screeching halt. "bro, your brakes." you cringe, covering your ears as he pulls into his driveway.

"are you going to kill me? no way, jisung always said i'd go out this way. please, tell my mother i love her and make sure i get the best spot in heaven." you feign terror as you unbuckle your seatbelt, not noticing the way seungmin can't even look at you. you feel how hard he slams his door, and you give his car a pitiful look as you slide out, following him to his apartment. he lived on the first floor, what a privilege.

he doesn't look at you as he walks into the apartment, tossing his keys onto the kitchen table. "y/n, i have a question."

"oh? mr. attitude has a question, does he?" you smile sarcastically, crossing your arms over your chest, the cowhide leather of the letterman you stole from him in high school rough against your skin. "alright, let's hear it." "why are you still a virgin?" okay, not what you were expecting. don't let it fluster you. you don't really notice his hardened expression as you try to answer. "well…it's just not on my list of priorities. i'll get fucked when i get fucked, you know?"

you shrug, not thinking much of your answer as he steps closer. "hm, i don't buy it."

raising an eyebrow, you shake your head, unbuttoning the jacket. "you're acting so weird, seungmin. if you wanna fuck me, just say that."

you sound surprisingly confident, and you can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you slide the jacket off, draping it over the couch. you gather your hair forward, spinning to speak to him again. "did you still want to watch the mov-" you're cut off by his lips pressing against yours, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer. you can't move, your hands frozen as he works you carefully, lips burning against your own. his movements feel desperate, and you let your body take over as you kiss him back, a soft sigh escaping his lips as your tongue slips between them. the kiss is hungry, his hands are digging into you so deeply you're sure you'll bruise. 

he stops. his fingers let go of your hips, and he pulls away, your lips chasing after his as he does. your lip gloss is glittering on his face, before he covers his eyes. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i have no idea what came over me, i…i'm sorry, please, let me take you home."

you can't speak, your mind still swirling with endorphins. your best friend of ten years just made the biggest move on you, and without a word, you managed to fumble it. no way. absolutely not.

"sorry for what? i'm not understanding." you suddenly feel very vulnerable, your skin littering with goosebumps at the sudden change in the air. "i'm perfectly fine with…whatever you were doing."

seungmin peers back at you through dark eyes. "no, y/n. we can't." he swipes his keys off the table, and you huff. "and why can't we, seungmin? what is so bad about kissing me?" his eyes are wide as you ramble, and it's all word vomit. you can't seem to stop it, but he's drinking every word.

"what is it? am i a bad kisser? is it because i'm a virgin? i don't think it's very fair that you can openly admit to being other girls' firsts but you can't even do that for me. you haven't even offered. i'm not saying you fucking have to, because you're my best friend and you always will be. but holy fuck, seungmin, i'm trying to get some. you said i should, so why not be the one i get it from?" 

you're out of breath, and seungmin just shakes his head as he takes one, two steps back in front of you. "you think i don't want to be your first? you think i don't want you all to myself, to ruin you for anyone else? you think i don't want to fuck you stupid, until all you know is my name? are you hearing yourself right now?"

"you're certainly not acting like it. it doesn't have to mean shit, seungmin. it's just sex." you roll your eyes, leaning on the couch. "it's not just sex, y/n. this is a huge step for you, for us. our friendship is on the line, and i don't want to do something you might regret later." you shake your head, and he hates when you get stubborn like this, you won't listen to reason. "still not seeing the issue here. i lose my virginity and gain some experience for the next guy, you get your dick wet. we go to bed, and we act like it didn't happen in the morning. you take me home, we listen to our playlists on the way there, and we go about our days."

he flings his keys onto the floor, his hands reaching to hold your face. he tucks a few strands behind your ears, fingers lovingly caressing your pierced lobes before he looks you dead in the eyes. "y/n, if i give you what you want tonight, there is no chance in hell you're going to fuck someone else."

you stare back at him silently, your eyes darting to his lips before your tongue peeks out to wet your own. it's not the worst thing in the world, being with seungmin. it could be good…and not just the sex. he knows you, you know him…his lips felt like they were made for you. they always had, since your drunken kiss on christmas eve.

"you say that like it's a threat." you challenge, and he bites back a smile, nodding his head. his hand has traveled to your hip, his other still holding your face when his nose touches yours, his breath hitting your lips. "if you want me to stop at any point, just let me know. understand, sweetheart?"

you nod, leaning forward to connect your lips. he pulls back, shaking his head. "i need to hear you say you understand."

"jeez, seungmin, i understand. i get it, can we please move this along?" you're not the least bit embarrassed as you whine against him, and he lets you kiss him. your lips are eager, your hands carding through his hair as he licks into your mouth. the kiss is all teeth and tongue, a soft moan interrupting it as he gives your clothed breast a gentle squeeze, his thumb working over your pebbled nipple. "min, i…" "what, tell me what you want, sweetheart." his lips trail down your jaw, nipping along your exposed neck carefully. your whines are like heaven to him, "n-need you.." "aw, you need me? need me where?" he's loving this, the way you squirm under his lips, under his nimble fingers. you push your chest into him involuntarily, "h-here. please?"

you grab his wrist, a wave of confidence taking over as you guide his hand under the waistband of your sweatpants. his fingers are cool against your clothed heat, a soft wet patch forming on the fabric. his eyes are wide as he instinctively lets his hand run over the spot, watching as you flinch, lip caught between your teeth. he presses hard against you, a gasp falling from your mouth. "i haven't even touched you, and look at how wet you are for me. a little pathetic, hm?" "'m’ yours, minnie. always, always been yours." you don’t mean that, he thinks. he's letting you grind against his hand, his gaze transfixed on your face. your brows furrowed, eyes screwed shut as you used his hand to get yourself to the edge. his cock twitches at the little pants falling from your lips, when he decides he's had enough. you nearly cry at the loss of contact, his hand escaping the confines of your plush thighs. "minnie-" "if you're gonna cum, it's gonna be on my face. let's go, sweetheart." he tugs you towards his bedroom, your legs weak as you try not to stumble behind him. "bed. on your back."

he's pulling his sweater over his head, and you nearly coo at his messy hair in your fucked out state. he feels a flush coat his cheeks as you lay there, waiting for him to tug your pants off. hooking his fingers in your waistband, you lift your hips to make it easier, and he slides your underwear and sweatpants off in one go. you suddenly feel shy, closing your legs. 

"ah, ah. it's just me, sweetheart. do you want to stop?" his hands move to your knees, the cool metal of his rings sending a soft shock to your spine. "no, i'm…okay. i'm just nervous." "it's okay, angel. i got you, don't worry." he presses a kiss to your forehead, nose…lips. he lingers there a bit, but doesn't let it deepen as he runs his hands down your legs. his fingers dig into your thighs, pulling them apart for him to settle between. you're soaking, the heat of his stare making anxiety bubble in your stomach. "fuck, you're going to be the death of me." his lips press soft, chaste kisses along your inner thigh, nipping carefully as you mewl. "minnie, please..i..please…" you end in a whimper, and who is he to deny you when you beg so nicely? he buries his nose in your pussy, bumping your clit as he lets his tongue drag through your folds, collecting your sweet, sweet arousal on his face. your hand flies to his hair as his lips suck on your clit, thighs threatening to close around his head. he doesn't care, he'd die a happy man right there between your legs.

"f-fuck, seungmin, ah! right there, holy f-fuh.." you're shaking around his head, bucking your hips into his face as gently as you can muster. he loves it, but he can't tell you that as he drowns in the scent of you, the obscene sounds of his tongue against you paired with your pretty whimpers ensuring he'd probably cum in his pants. "oh, b-baby i'm gonna.."

his hand reaches for yours, interlacing your trembling fingers with his, his other hand massaging your thigh in encouragement. he can barely bring himself to talk, a soft moan of his against your clit sending you over the edge, a soft cry of his name echoing in the room. "that's it, good job angel. you did so well for me, hm?" he's still lapping at you, not wanting to miss a single shiver or whimper from your body. "s'always that good? min?" he peers up at you from his spot between your legs, your lips parted as you blink, a tear rolling down the side of your face. he moves up to wipe it away, but you take his hand in yours, kissing his palm softly. "you okay? we can stop." he presses his forehead against yours, not able to process your cute gesture without wanting to bawl. you nod, a lazy smile crossing your lips as you reach to kiss him. "m'all good, minnie. do you…want me to help you?"

you can feel his clothed cock pressing against your leg, practically begging to be set free, and you teasingly buck up against it. he inhales sharply, shaking his head, "i want tonight to be about you. i want to make sure you feel good, okay? are you sure you want to continue?" "yeah, m'all yours." you sigh against his lips, a chaste kiss from you to him. "can i take this off, sweetheart?" he yanks lightly on your shirt, and you nod. you help him tug it over your head, your fingers reaching backwards to unclasp your bra. he feels like all the air is sucked out of the room as you lay beneath him, for him, in all your glory. every curve he's imagined just as gorgeous. "you're staring, it's making me shy." your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "no, no, fuck, you're gorgeous. look at you, oh my god, i.." he trails off, his hands resting on your tummy. "you just went down on me, and you're short-circuiting over my tits, kim?" your teasing is not helping his brain, but the attitude brings him back to reality. "you know that's not all it is, stop it." he rolls his eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. it's soothing, the warmth of your skin radiating against his. he dips his head between your breasts, trailing open mouthed kisses all over your chest and stomach. "you're so beautiful. i'm literally the luckiest person in the entire universe." he's mumbling to himself mostly, but you feel soft tears prick at your eyes. his lips latch around one of your nipples, a gasp from you making him pull off with a pop. "can i…are you sure you want this, y/n? i really, really don't want you to regret this."

you grab his face in your hands, your thumbs lightly padding over his cheeks. "i want you, entirely. in this life, in the next life. okay? i got you, don't worry." you echo his words back to him, and he bites his lip, a hint of something in his eyes as he pulls back to unbuckle his pants. kicking them off quickly, you wait until he straightens to take a peek. 

the rumors were true. he's thick, his tip a soft mauve. your mouth is watering at the sight, when a snap of his fingers catches your attention. "eyes up here, sweetheart. i want you to look at me, can you do that?"

you nod, a shy smile on your lips as he goes to spread your knees again. "no, wait, minnie…" he feels his heart skip a beat at your voice, eyes flickering to yours in concern. "i…can i be on top? i read that…it can be better that way." you swallow thickly, and he feels the tips of ears burn but a smile grazes his features. "you studied for sex?"

any awkwardness is gone. you scoff, a light smack landing on his arm. "forgive me for wanting to be in control."

"you want to be in control? okay. fine, but you won't last long." he shrugs, sliding onto the bed behind you, eyes taking in the curve of your ass before you turn. "lay back, asswipe." "watch the attitude, or i'm shutting this shit down." he says, eyes serious as you feel your cheeks heat. you watch as he gets comfortable on his pillows, and you crawl over to him, your hands brushing against his sides as you straddle him. "we can go as slow as you want, okay?" his words are reassuring as his hands reach for your thighs, and you nod.

you take a deep breath, lightly letting your cunt drag along his length, his tip bumping your clit. you shiver, a buzz going up your legs as he takes your hips in his hands, manually guiding you over his cock. "did you read about this too?"

"shut up." you roll your eyes, his hands holding you in place. he looks…so convincing like this. like everything will go back to normal after this, like everything will be the same. he'll still be your best friend, and you'll still be desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him. it's overwhelming, and you just bite your lip, shaking your head. "you're staring." "your dick is twitching, but i'm not saying shit." scoffing, you take him in your hand gently, lining him up with your aching center. you sink down slowly, the tip barely swiping your entrance when you grimace, a hiss escaping your lips as you screw your eyes shut. "i know, angel. here, let me help you." seungmin pulls you closer, his back against his headboard, careful not to pull out. you watch as his hand snakes between the two of you, his thumb softly circling your clit, your eyes threatening to close. "eyes open." you oblige, feeling a gush of arousal at his command, and you have no room to feel embarrassed when he begins to shallowly fuck into you, matching the pace of his thumb. your eyes are glossy as you move your hands to hold onto the headboard, your chest flush to his face. he kisses your shoulder, your soft whimpers music to his ears. 

"deeper? or stay like this?" he asks, voice shaking slightly, the warmth of your pussy almost staggering. it's humiliating how worked up you have him, but you need to stay humble. it helps him tolerate you. "d-deeper, is okay."

his arms wrap around your waist tightly, slowly pulling you down further, a whine escaping your throat as your hands move to his shoulders, your eyes meeting his. he's trying not to cum from the way your pretty cunt swallowed him so perfectly, taking him so well. made for him, just him. "m'so full, minnie." you clench around him, and it takes all his willpower not to finish. he's not far, he's practically seeing stars…but the way you're looking at him, you're so pretty, so ready to cry over his cock. he needs to drag this out as long as he can.

"y-you can move, if you want. p-please, want to feel you." you're pleading, he knows. he swallows, confidence wavering as he nods, slowly thrusting up into you, the squelch immediately catching his attention, eyes tearing from yours. he watches the way you take him, your body begging to be ruined by him. he moves a little faster, your mind beginning to blur as he falls into a rhythm. 

your nails are digging into his shoulders, your lip caught between your teeth as his hips rock against yours. his eyes flicker back to your face, and you manage a quick wink. he feels his cheeks burn beet red as he looks away. he feels like such a fucking virgin, when he is the one that's your first, not the other way around. pretty girl on his lap and he can't even look at you.

he wishes you had been his first, too, and he wishes you would have asked him sooner. you're so smart, you're so gorgeous, your lips taste like cinnamon sugar. fuck, he loves you. you're his best friend, you feel so good around him and you know him so well. he loves you, so fucking much.

his hips come to a slow, your moan drawing out as he drags his cock against your walls at an agonizing pace. "'still want to be in control, angel?" his lips press to your clavicle, and you nod against his neck. "will you tell me if it's good?"

he pulls you back, hand coming up to caress your face. "how could it not be, when it's you?"

you don't say a word, allowing his lips to meet yours in a chaste kiss. he slumps a bit, and you maneuver so his back is almost flat on the bed, and you try not to moan as the movement makes his cock hit you just right. "whenever you're ready, just use me how you want to." you feel a flutter in your stomach, giving an experimental roll of your hips, your hands flat on his side. raising your hips, your thighs tremble as you start a rhythm, bouncing on him carefully. he's watching you, the way you move so fluidly, like you're dancing. like you're enjoying him, using him, making his brain feel useless. he can't speak, just drinking in this picture of you he's never going to get to see again after tonight, taking in your throaty moans.

"m-minnie?" your eyes are low, your hands moving to his chest, pushing your breasts together. fuck, you are art. "y-yeah?" 

he can't even focus as you whimper, clamping around him like a vice, moving slightly faster. "m'close, i can't..i.." you're still looking at him, and he can't. he can't take it, using his strength to flip you on your back. he interlaces your fingers, pinning your hands above you as he roughly fucks into you, sharp cries falling from your lips.

his head dips, lips dragging along your jaw as he whispers in your ear. "this is where you belong. under me, begging for me. got it?"

you feel chills cover your body as you nod, "y-yes, god, yes." "good girl." he's so unsure of himself, he's so afraid he'll scare off your high but he needs to know. "did you mean what you said earlier?" he's speaking through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the gloss in your eyes.

"hmm?" your brows furrow, your bitten lips slightly agape as his thrusts become sloppy, and he just shakes his head, opting to kiss you instead. hoping it'll help the knot in his stomach go away, hoping it will help you forget he asked. you can't help but pant into his mouth, feeling him smile against your lips. "you can let go, sweetheart. you did so well for me, yeah? i got you." you don't register how tightly you squeeze his fingers, or how deeply you're kissing him as you feel the white hot sensation rip through you. he's drunk off you, and you can feel him spurting inside you, his cum trickling out of you as his thrusts come to a slow, slow, stop.

but he doesn't, his lips don't. he can't stop kissing you, he doesn't want to talk. he doesn't want to tell you how you made him feel, how he can never see you the same again. he doesn't want to watch you walk out of his apartment tonight and possibly never be able to talk you again. he doesn't want to ever, ever hear about you doing this with some other guy, but he made his bed. 

your thighs are trembling around him, and you tug your fingers out of his grasp, pulling as far away from his mouth as you physically can. he pouts, chasing after them, only stopping when your eyes blink slowly at him.

"you alright?" his voice is soft, almost scared. you nod, swallowing thickly as you look away, tears forming in your eyes. "ah, talk to me, y/n. it's okay." "i meant it. what i said, earlier. i…don't know why i said it, i never planned on saying it. i'm sorry if it's going to make things awkward." you feel a tear escape, your hand quickly pawing it away. "awkward? with you? it’s not possible." he murmurs, and you glance at him, but he's staring at the pillows above your head.

"but you don't feel the same way." you say, almost as if you're trying not to hurt your feelings by letting your own words reject you, instead of him. he shifts, and you realize he's still inside you. he props himself up on his elbows, hands holding his head up as he peers at you. "you think i don't?"

"i know you don't." you laugh coldly, and he smiles. "yeah, miss sex expert? you know everything? did you read that, too?"

"ugh, stop. i'm never telling you anything again." you're becoming increasingly aware of your nudity, and seungmin can feel the hot flame of shame creeping up his back. he shakes his head, hating the way his blushing cheeks burn so bright. "i want you to tell me everything, forever. i love knowing you, i love trusting you. i'm glad you trusted me with this."

you can't look at him. his hand moves to make you look at him, fingers lightly squeezing your jaw. "and i meant what i said, too. you can't fuck anyone else. only i can see you like this, okay?"

his eyes are searching your face, watching you attempt to nod. "and…" he sighs, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "and i love you. i love your smile, and how you laugh when you play sex songs in the car. i love when we split cinnamon rolls, because you always try to take the bigger piece as if i won't just let you have it. i love when you say my name because it rolls so nicely off your tongue. i love how you move so effortlessly, and how you remember every little thing about anyone, ever. i love that you're funny, and you're so passionate. i love that you're so smart, far too smart to think that i wouldn't sell my soul to live an eternity by your side." his voice is trembling, and your eyes are wide and full of tears, full of adoration, of love for the stupid boy hovering above you.

"i love you, please. please say you're mine." his tears spill, and your lips part, a soft sob escaping as you pull him close, the cool metal of his necklace dragging against your damp skin. "i'm yours, always. i'm yours, i'm yours, i'm yours. i love you." you mumble against his lips, your tears mixing with his on your cheeks.

"thank fuck, i was about to end it all thinking about you doing that fucking trick on someone else." he mutters, and you snort as he buries his face. "that wasn't in the article, funnily enough. it just felt like the right thing to do. think if i pierced my clit, it'd feel better for you?" you ponder aloud, and he nips at your skin.

"don't even start, i haven't even pulled out." he groans, and you laugh loudly. "you're so pretty." he pouts, and rolls his eyes as they start filling with tears, your hand quickly wiping the ones that spilled. "is this going to happen every time? i kind of hate it."

"god, i hope so. i love seeing you like this for me." you tease, and he scrunches his nose. "shut up. stay humble, it's the only way i tolerate you." he nuzzles his nose back into your neck, and you let him stay there, carding your fingers through his hair.

"y/n?"

"yes, seungmin?" "i'm yours, you know that?"

"mmm, i do now. just mine?" "just yours. always." he nods as he pulls himself off you, placing a kiss on your temple, before brushing his lips on the shell of your ear. "someone has to fuck the attitude out of you, and i'm so glad it's gonna be me." you feel your skin heat at his words, and you smack him lightly. he gives a playful thrust, making you gasp before slowly pulling out. "you're off the hook for now, my angel. let's get you cleaned up." he doesn't stop kissing your face in the shower, or when he's shampooing your hair. he doesn't stop kissing your shoulders as he towels you dry, or your tummy when he works lotion into your skin. he can't keep his hands off you, even when you say you need to put clothes on. he can't get enough of the burn of your skin against his, and moves as fast as a human possibly can stripping the sheets off his bed and replacing them. 

he can't stop, and he won't stop kissing you, splitting cinnamon rolls with you, or singing sex songs in the car. he can't stop, and he won't stop, supporting you at your recitals and fucking you stupid as a reward. he can't stop, and he won't stop filling your cup until it's overflowing, making you laugh until you cry, and dragging moans of his name from your throat.

he can't stop, and he will never stop, loving you.

temptaetions © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Hear me out I am very high from a edible rn but HEAR ME OUT DUDE

so we all know Chris Evans and his absolute slutty build like cmon he literally was nicknamed the human dorito bc slutty waist

Anyways thinking about that one promo pic of Chris in the cap suit with his back turned to the camera and his ass is just perfect ANYWAYS FR THIS TIME

Thinking about stucky but not like dating but Bucky being obsessed with Steve’s absolutely slutty figure and once the two get close to being fully retired Steve gets bigger as he slowly grows accustomed to taking it easy for once. but not exactly just fatter everything is the same but somehow softer and bigger. His thighs spread out more when he sits his chest is massive not quite defined pecs but far from being flabby moobs they’re just huge, his abs are long gone but he doesn’t have a round gut (Atleast when he’s empty) and the best part that makes bucky go crazy is his love handles , ass, and thighs, all perfectly packed together in one big package that makes Bucky lose his shit. Steves ass has nearly doubled but it’s still a perfect bubble butt, and his thighs have filled out enough to close any gap that might’ve occurred even when he has a wide stance. (Think those really chunky frat boys that manspread and their thighs are still somehow touching) BUT Steve’s suit and most of his wardrobe hasn’t changed so his clothes just accentuate his assets. His thighs and ass taking up most of the room in his pants and they perfectly leave Steve’s bulge completely on display almost like a gift from god to Bucky. Anyways I’m sure if you did add to this you’d be able to express that better than I could! And if you don’t THATS ALSO COOL (pls by no means feel like you have to answer this right away )

THIS HAS VIBES 🤤🤤

You know what kind of vibes? Exhibitionist Captain America vibes from this post by iwritetheweirdstuff

And I assume you're talking about this photo, which I nabbed from forchrisevans

Okay, shit...

Now you just have me thinking about chunky but still super fucking muscular Steve. I’m going off the rails over here, biting and clawing at my enclosure. I don’t think this rambling is actually totally related to your original idea, so just know I love your original idea!

But this reaoly gets me because Steve would be such a fucking classic MAN. Yanno? Big and heavy and robust. He looks like he could take Bucky in his big, beefy arms and rip him apart. He’s healthy. Hefty. Rippling muscles hidden under this layer of pudge.

Yum.

Unbeta'd stucky belly kink ahead. Warning for weight gain, muscle chub talk, tight clothes, Bucky being a little creepy by drooling over Steve before they're an item, etc.

Before gaining weight and when he was wearing the title of Captain American so tightly that it was suffocating him to the point that he was unforgiving of himself, never good enough as Steve Rogers, Steve was like a Thoroughbred. A racehorse, smooth and lean, with a single objective. Win. But now that he’s looser with the title and deciding what he wants for himself, more often calling himself a nomad than going by Cap… now he’s gruff, ignoring the rules (ignoring them even more than he did before, which is saying something for a troublemaker like him), and he’s like a Clydesdale. He’s a tank.

A fucking beast.

When he’s running, you get out of the fucking way because of all the mass behind that force. If you let him collide with you at full speed, full force… it ain’t pretty. His feet pound the ground. Jesus wept. These days his chest, belly, and ass shake when he runs, even when his big, big body is wrapped tightly in all that deep, navy-blue Kevlar. The sight just destroys Bucky.

Bucky can’t fucking fight next to him anymore when they’re called in for Avenging every now and again, half-retired as they are. It was bad enough when Steve was that Thoroughbred, rippling lean muscle and a shiny, bright blond head of short hair. Always distracting Bucky. But now it’s worse because Steve is a Clydesdale with this heft to him and his dirty blond hair and dark, thick beard. He’s even letting his body hair grow in, and it’s all Bucky can do to not faint, landing face-first into the deepening cleavage between his robust pecs, inhaling the musk of him. Every time Steve grunts with the effort of punching or kicking or tearing some offending villain to pieces, Bucky swears he feels faint. He has this completely involuntary feral reaction to the burly man he’s become. Hunky. Stocky. Ripped. Hefty. Whatever fucking word there is for the built he’s got going… it makes Bucky’s mouth water.

Of course, Steve’s still only two inches taller - 6’2” to Bucky’s 6’0” - but suddenly he feels a whole foot taller, and he feels twice as wide as Bucky. Those broad shoulders are only made wider, reinforced by the extra protein he’s eating, thickening his muscles and adding soft pudge; his pecs are still high and tight but even more… they’re swollen almost, added to by an irresistible layer of fat that Bucky has the primal urge to bite; the abs he had once upon a time, defined enough to use as a washboard have softened, especially after a hearty meal like a good lumberjack’s breakfast or a caveman’s dinner, just, these big plates with plenty of meat piled onto them, which turn his stomach into this drool-worthy curve, a little belly that sticks around until he somehow manages to digest it all; that fucking ass made even rounder and more shapely to the point that his pants all strain across it, his sweats especially, nearly splitting down the middle whenever he gets out of his comfy recliner; his thighs, oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, they’re ripe, rubbing together and trying to bust outta his jeans, his sweats, even his Captain America uniform.

Bucky has it bad.

If he weren’t so focused on trying to not let his animal out, growling and just fucking tackling Steve to the floor, he would feel terrible for how much he’s sexualizing his best pal. It seems no matter what he’s doing, Bucky’s caveman brain is thinking about how to best peel him out of his too-small clothes. Too tight when he was lean with rippling muscles, barely any body fat on him, and especially too fucking tight now when he has this delicious extra give to him. He looks like a size two sausage stuffed into a size one casing. Bucky curses his wardrobe at the same time that he would fall to his knees and thank it with his hands pressed together, praying to it. He wants to be there for the day that Steve busts out of it after a heavy, hearty, indulgent dinner.

‘Cause, listen, Bucky’s spank bank is just overflowing these days:

When the most recent battle is done and Steve bends over to pick up a fucking massive slab of concrete, he unintentionally gives Bucky a front-row seat to his thick ass. His curves barely fit in his uniform these days. Honestly, Bucky doesn’t know how he puts that godforsaken, tight-as-hell uniform on by himself anyway. And he doesn’t want to think about it. Not in public! The only way he can imagine it happening is with Steve naked save for a jock strap, alone in his room. First, he steps into the legs, then he works it up his calves, getting it to his thighs where it gets stuck. He’s outgrowing it. It’s a tight fit, but he still fits for now. At least, he fits when he shimmies and wiggles into it. Better than a damn stripper. Moving his body in this unintentionally, totally sexy way. Wiggling. Pulling. Squirming. Even jumping while he’s at it, pulling hard at the thick Kevlar, his biceps bulging - they’re bigger than Bucky’s fucking head now - grunting as he holds his breath, sucking in. Sucking in! His chest expanding without his pudgy, starter belly going anywhere, stubborn and jiggly.

Whenever he bends over, he gives Bucky a show, really. It doesn’t matter where they are...

When he’s bent over looking at the leaky pipe under their kitchen sink, his waist filling more of the open cabinet than it once would have. While he’s down there, his shirt rolls up over his soft little hips, the new weight just beginning to accumulate there. The start of what could be real love handles someday.

When he’s looking through the bottom drawer of the fridge, doing a head count before they head out for groceries. He’s not dressed yet, though, so he doesn’t have a belt to hold his pants up and his sweats slide down the shelf of his ass, displaying just enough of his asscrack for Bucky to feel starved, meaning he’s extra grumpy at having to wander around an overcrowded store. Shoulder to shoulder with strangers. Hungry and horny.

When he’s drawing on the couch and he accidentally lets a pencil fall onto the floor, so he has to get up, but, oops, it looks like it must’ve rolled under the couch so he gets even lower. Onto his knees and forearms. Searching blindly for the pencil… blind to Bucky’s eyes, perving out on how his thighs touch from the back now, his legs getting just as thick as his ass is. And it’s thick.

When he’s doing stretches on their balcony in the morning, breathing in the fresh air, doing some cat-cows, and inadvertently displaying his new belly that’s still rumbling through last night’s dessert. A classic, couple 'a slices of pie and ice cream. Too much pie and ice cream judging by how distended his belly looks.

When they’re getting some of their energy out now that they’re not constantly going out and avenging, half-retired, by sparing with each other in the gym. Sparing, kind of wrestling, too. They’re not trying to be tactical about it, they’re just having fun, being big kids, reminiscent of the days when they’d pull the mattress off the bed and start to play fighting on the floor. But they aren’t kids and Steve isn’t so much smaller than him, so Bucky doesn’t have to focus on finding that perfect balance of holding back just enough where it doesn’t seem like he is but he’s also not at risk of pushing Steve’s frail body too far. Now they can really whale on each other. Which is fun… until it isn’t. Because Bucky is laughing and sweating and actually starting to feel tired, and then he’s pinned, and he’s choking back a moan, sweating harder. Steve is on top of him. Steve is crushing him. Steve’s big, hot chest is against his back - Bucky can feel how he’s sweating through his skintight white t-shirt, his thick pecs squishing against his shoulder blades. Steve’s delightful, chubby, little belly is slotted perfectly into the small of his back. While fighting, Bucky’s shirt has risen up, and apparently, Steve’s has done the same, despite how firmly it had been clinging to his soft middle the last time he dared to sneak a peak because now their sweaty, hot skin is pressed together. Steve’s hairy tummy is tickling him, making Bucky want to squirm. He wants to moan. It’s a good fucking thing he’s face-down with Steve on top of him. He wants more than just to squirm and moan, he wants to hump the floor like an animal because with Steve’s tits pressed to his back and his belly squished to his back, it aligns his crotch right up against his ass. Bucky can feel Steve’s dick on his ass through the thin layers of their sweatpants and underwear. He can feel how heavy it is. And he’s thinking about how Steve’s dick probably blushes a dusky pink and gets wet at the time and how it probably curves a little and gets so thick when he’s hard and… this is where Bucky dies because Steve readjusts himself, making it worse by spreading his killer thighs to either side of Bucky’s legs, practically grinding into him, trapping him between his watermelon-crushing thighs. “Had enough?” Steve teases him with a shit-eating grin. God. Only if the fucker knew.

When Natasha adopts a new, abandoned kitten that she’s named Liho and they go over to play with him at Tasha’s apartment and Steve decides to grin like he does, always breath-taking, his smile the sweetest, most affectionate thing as he lifts Liho up above his head like Simba in the Lion King (yes, they’ve caught up on that modern pop culture reference, thank you very much). Bucky nearly goes cross-eyed, staring at his pecs. His t-shirt clings to his round, heavy tits. With his arms up, it forces his pecs to move up, too. High and plump. Bucky can see every detail of them, he can see every breath he takes, making them heave, and he’s almost able to pick out the tiniest creaking groan of the seams of his shirt screaming under all that pressure. Tasha doesn’t bat an eye, at the treatment Steve is giving her new companion, she just squeezes past Steve in her kitchen (is the apartment that small, or is Steve that big?), flicking one of his hard nipples. The points of them are obvious through the straining, thin fabric. She refills her mug with coffee but she doesn’t take a sip until she reminds Steve that if he wants to see how much more comfortable running can be, he only has to say the word and she’ll show him the magic of sports bras. Everyone can see that he needs it, and he might as well embrace it. They can even get matching ones if he wants. Her smile is razor-sharp, teasing. Bucky nearly chokes on his tongue, imagining the heavy mounds of his tits hoised up higher, giving him even more cleavage than he normally sports. Guh. Bucky wouldn’t survive.

When later during that same day, Steve decides he’s going to lie down on Natasha’s couch as they watch a movie - some Russian production that Tasha’s been telling Bucky about forever (he’s hardly paying attention and it’s Steve’s fault that he’s going to have to watch this again, on his own, during one of his sleepless nights when he can pay attention to it) - and Liho decides that Steve’s his favorite. So, he wanders back over to curl up on his soft chest and belly and starts fucking kneading his plush chest and belly like it’s the comfiest, fluffiest pillow ever. It probably fucking is! And Bucky can’t blame the kitten for purring so loudly - despite Steve’s and Tasha’s amusement at it - Bucky would be no better. He spends the rest of the evening biting the inside of his cheek and trying to banish all the mental images of his own hands kneading and squishing and groping those tits until Steve’s blushing, his mouth open, eyes heavily lidded, sweat beading at his hairline, begging Bucky to move on and touch him somewhere else, anywhere else! His nipples swollen and so hard. Irrestable. Bucky would indulge him… sort of. He would move on. But he’d have to give the same thorough attention to his soft belly, his growing hips, his thick thighs, and his fat ass. His body deserves to be pleasured until he’s out of his mind.

When Steve’s loose and warm, they’re hanging out in some back-alley sports bar in Brooklyn for a game, watching the feed on TV, downing beers and greasy bar food with Sam and some other guys from the VA, and a sip goes down the wrong pipe so Steve has to pound his chest with a closed fist, ending up not coughing but belching loudly. For everyone else, the sound is covered by the rowdy cheers filling the crowded, dimly lit space. But not for Bucky. For Bucky, Steve is the only thing in focus. Steve, with his looser fit shirt disguise, blending in, his baseball cap tugged down low on his forehead, shading his eyes, his beard grown out, thick, and… Bucky can’t take it. His body. The way his belly scrunches up when he sits down, bulging out further. The way his throat moves when he chugs from a long-necked bottle. The way his pecs jiggle when he jumps up excitedly, cheering loudly, and the similar way his belly wobbles at the same time. The way he groans at the end of his beer burp, voice rough from yelling all night and soaked in hoppy, malty richness. The way his thighs spread out over his bar stool, expanding, stressing the seams of his jeans. He’s taking up so much space with his broad shoulders, excitable hand gestures as he talks, and his manspreading. Yet, it’s still not enough. His thighs fill out his tight, dark-wash denim so well that even when he’s manspreading, his thighs still touch. Bucky aches to curl up in his lap and kiss him, feeling his beard tickling his face. He wants the heat of that big, big body underneath him. He wants to feel the hot line of his erection when he grinds down into him - their stomachs pressed together, Steve’s heavy with bloating, greasy, fattening bar appetizers.

Bucky’s spank bank is over-fucking-flowing as Steve starts putting on weight and if Bucky didn’t know better, he would think Steve is doing it to him on purpose, teasing him, trying to get him to jump his bones 😏

[arcplaysgames]

["Everything Hits At Once" by Spoon plays muffled in the distance]

Took out Fuckface McGee with my sister so I've almost wrapped up Sojiro's social link. Some social workers came to look into the uncle's claims of abuse, but Reverie and Futaba stood by their dad, and then Sojiro cried because YOU ARE MY DAAAAD, YOURE MY DAD BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

so happy for the Sakuras, esp Reverie Vantas-Sakura.

hahahha I fucking knew it.

I mean not that it was cleverly hidden but Futaba went back over the data and basically confirmed everythiiiiing. After Kaneshiro, someone hacked the Phansite and inflated the approval rating and rigged the rankings. It was all a ploy to put the Thieves into position to be the fall guys with Okumura.

So as I was saying: Everything is Mishima's fault. How the fuck does the site admin not recognize sloppily hacked-together code that's making changes to the key features? Like, oh my god. Mishima, you're such a fuckup and everything is your fault.

l m a o i do love this moment. No dialogue, just Ryuji realizing he's been fucking played. All the excitement and fame and his insistence that they had to go after Okumura because of the rankings, all of it falls like scales from Ryuji's eyes right here.

ya done fucked up, son

The SIU Director is like. diabolically evil lmao. They don't even try to make him anything but. He's moustache-twirly. I keep rolling my goddamn eyes.

goddamn maruki can you be a little more subtle, like just a big. just a nudge. "YANNO it's okay if your memories are lies so long as they make you happy! 8D!" bruh

Anyway, it's the school festival and the school votes on who they want to be the guest speaker (is that a thing?) and the school overwhelmingly votes for Akechi.

goddamn, the ghost of you fuckin lingers, huh

are you reverie's wife now? wait, no, that's wrong. is reverie your wife now? there, that's better.

So Shido is the big bad, right? Like, he's the guy who framed Reverie in the first place, the symmetry of fiction demands he be the final dude Reverie goes up against (until Maruki finds a way to fucketh everything up). Okumura was going into politics, by removing him, did we remove the only hurdle standing between Shido and being the new PM and he's Super Evil?

What I find slightly frustrating at this point, structurally, is that I have zero idea or indication what the baddies actually want out of this. They are killing people and presumably want to use the Metaverse to control the population, but do they have, like, a guiding philosophy or something? Or is it just power for power's sake, because that's boring.

NO IDEA. We know fuck all!

Is that a lie?

lmao what am i saying, nothing Akechi says is an absolute truth, is it?

It's funny because Akechi is..... extremely good at what he does? Not the detective thing, frankly we've had zero indication of his actual intellectual acumen in that arena. But as a double agent, he could be an Ocelot, frankly.

OH MAN THAT'S WHAT HE REMINDS ME OF, HOLY SHIT. Young Revolver Ocelot, Adamska. Oh yeah that's the vibe. Except with worse fashion and much worse hair. About as homosexual though.

ANYWAY AT THE SCHOOL FESTIVAL, THE GANG IS HANGING OUT ALONE AND AKECHI ROLLS UP AND SAYS THIS

"EVERYONE'S ALL HERE"???? lmao he knows and he isn't even being subtle about it anymore

omg and futaba fucking notices it too LMAO THAT'S GREAT i'm so happy it was intentional phrasing, hahaha that's amazing

Anyway, at the guest speaker panel, Makoto is moderating, and uses the opportunity to press Akechi for info about the case.

omg he's just gonna come out and say it

oh my god yes bitch do it, light the rag and chuck that molotov right into this whole trash fire, it can burn so much faster

THIS FUCKING BITCH

he's not as good as Adachi but I gotta say he's pretty fucking good lmao. Every time there's a Beige Alert, you know things are going to be interesting at least.

But also this is the equivalent to putting a gun to the Thieves' head. Love it.

Never play a player, Makoto.

Anyway with that obviously faked phone call, Akechi calls a 10 minute break and asks to see everyone in a private room where he will humbly serve everyone a helping of their own ass, I assume.

[anonymousredactedconfessions]

@ 🤠🐸

yall rly just are not getting what i had said in my original ask at all. like none of yall understand.

first of all, i can complain about it. thats what i did. i complained about it. let me explain this in a way that can make sense as to why im so upset about it.

imagine that regularly, every month for 2-3 years, you are given a piece of candy. now all of a sudden, youre being forced to pay for the candy. why do you have to pay for the candy? its always been free before so why now? it cant be because of a financial crisis, because the person supplying you has a steady income and makes more money than you have or probably will see in your whole life. i think its pretty fucking fair to be upset about it.

i dont expect it to change, i dont expect anyone to do anything about it. i dont expect everyone to understand, but god fucking damn it, i have grown up having even basic human fucking needs deprived of me because money is stupid and evil and yeah, yanno what, i think im entitled to being a little upset when yet Another Thing is being taken from me because i cant afford to give a rich white man money. no its not serious, i get that. but i dont know why me voicing that im upset about something automatically makes me childish and immature and apparently, according to past responses, a fucking loser who has no friends.

idk man. money is the root of all evil or whatever and i hate paying for art in general because its stupid that anyone even has the need to charge money for art or slap any kind of monetary value on it. i get that it sounds like im whining, but the way that i look at it, this kind of feeling for me runs a lot deeper than “i cant have my favorite content bc it costs money”

its very much a “its stupid that anyone should have to pay for these kinds of things because art shouldnt be monetized period but we live in a world where its Needed and that pisses me the fuck off because I HATE MONEYYYYYY I HATE ITTTTTT “ kind of thing lmao

like yall know how everyone is mad at streaming services for making you pay more for less shit when it used to be included in what you get??? its the same kind of vibe for me. why would i ever pay money for something that was free for half its existence or whatever lmao

idk i dont think anyone will really understand unless you grew up the way i did. its cool. its whatever. just maybe dont fucking attack me for complaining about financial situations/the ridiculous roundabout ways i have to go about getting shit that used to be free.

im not even mad about Erik himself being the one to do it. im mad that anyone does it. you should not force anyone to pay for shit that used to be free. shit should not cost more after time goes on. because none of it makes any fucking sense and money is stupid and grrrrrer whateverrrrrrr whateverrrrr it doesnt mattererrrrrrrr (thx to mod priest for putting up with all this btw love u dude, ur a pillar in this community truly and u see some of the worst shit that this fandom says and big props to you. i wont be commenting on this any further just for your sake tbh. much love, thank you for everything you do dude)

-⚡️🩸

.

(thanks ⚡🩸 anon 🥺. Thats very sweet of you ❤️ love u too dude)

[blackbird-brewster]

Doom Them and I have a weekend routine where we eat breakfast at the table together on Saturday morning. We drink coffee, I read them any new fic I've written that week and then, we somehow always wind up having the most beautiful deep and meaningfuls.

This weekend we were listening to 'I am... Sasha Fierce' and I was talking about when that album came out, I was in the relationship with my first wife (but this was before we were married).

And I'd get off work at 2am, drive home listening to that album, then I'd park at the Target across from our apartment complex and just sob.

In the decade since that relationship fell apart, I have spent a lot of time down playing how bad it was. I often think it was only bad at the end of the six years I spent with my ex. But recovering my old LJ and just unlocking little forgotten memories has wildly changed my perspective

'But Kit, if you were SO miserable why did you spend six years with her? Why did you marry her?'

Because I didn't know it was a bad relationship when I was in it! I was young, she was only my second serious relationship and when we separated, I'd spent 1/4 of my entire life with her.

And back then, there were barely any queer relationships being representated in media. And the relationships we did see were written through a comphet or hypersexualised lens and they were also toxic af.

Representation matters so much.

Queer representation in media has come so far since I first came out nearly twenty years ago, it's not perfect, but god, at least it's not ALL horrific trauma porn and shit like Jenny Schecter being the world's most manipulative pisces ever, yanno?

Today we went to an event that was a conversation with four queer authors and it was all about the importance of writing queer joy. And god, it filled my cups to the brim.

Maybe if I'd seen healthy queer relationships, maybe if I'd have seen queer joy, I wouldn't have felt like there was something horribly wrong with me for not being happy in an extremely toxic and emotionally abusive relationship.

I think that's part of the reason why I love writing wholesome queer fic now. I want young people to know that you absolutely can find queer joy and happiness and healthy romantic relationships (if that's your vibe).

[pseudolife-archived3]

God, I love Samuel Roukin sfm. Man's a fuckin giant, sweet as fuck, big hairy chest, not a sexist shit (he was in an all female led, written, etc movie! He was proud and excited about it!) and his voice is naturally deep and womb shaking. Baaaark bark bark.

Edit to add: I don't really do sm but I also love that this man is the MOST AWKWARD poster in the history of social media. It's cute. I love those awkward boomer vibes he gives.

Also most importantly: when he plays Ghost, his voice is actually understandable and not... That kind of voice where a guy is trying to sound deeper but comes off kinda breathy and difficult, yanno? My hearing is bad. I need CLEARLY SPOKEN words, thnx. Bless Samuel for doing that for me and only me.

Sry no one else is awake for MY RAMBLING they're all IN FUCKING BED FUCKING ASLEEP LIKE LOSERS so it's me and you, dash buddies. Just us.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Hi there! It’s fun to see other former percussionists talk about the funky stuff we got to mess with in school. (At my school we played with boom whackers for an entire concert, it was absolute chaos and I loved it) Are there any bizarre memories that stick out from your band kid days?

Oh my God, boom whackers! We had a some of those, but I never was the person playing them 😔 It's always SO fun to get a full boom whacker piece though, it IS so chaotic.

I'm definitely forgetting some wilder shit (and tbh throwback to getting marimbas upstairs), but I do always think about one of the glockenspiels we had that was mounted on this like homemade dolly, stand, frame type thing. Y'know, the frame with the wheels. The glock was also like OLD, so a bunch of the keys were loose actually, like, they were simply set in the location and you had to adjust them during your rests so they wouldn't hit each other when you struck them. So, as high school bands do, we were rehearsing in a classroom, and yanno, always a challenge getting the ensemble positioned in a classroom, it's packed. I wasn't the one playing it at the time (I was on timpani), but during a rehearsal, in the middle of the piece, the entire frame just collapsed, straight down. Keys EVERYWHERE. Made the most awful sound. We spent the next twenty minutes searching for all the keys underneath everything and putting the glock back together.

I did also almost seriously hurt myself once. Like four of us were "loaned" out to the concert band. We were put up on a riser with the tubas (as one does), but the timpani were about as wide as the space we were allotted, dead center, and there was only a narrow strip to pass them to get to either side. I was (and still am) a clumsy bitch. During a rehearsal for I think the spring concert, the choir was rehearsing at the time, I tried to pass the timpani on the riser to grab something from the other side, but miss-stepped. The riser was about five feet up, which is about as tall as I was (and still am), so I plunged straight down. I reflexively grabbed the closest thing—the largest timpani. It, obviously, did not stay in place. So, I fell straight down behind the riser and I was taking the timpani with me. LUCKILY, the riser was also VERY close to the back of the stage and the space behind the riser was narrower than like a 30-inch drum. So, I hit the stage, but the timpani got caught between the riser and the wall. I did scream on the way down, I hurt my ankle quite a lot and scratched my arm on the edge of the riser, and the other percussion kids grabbed the timpani out of the space really fast. But, I'm pretty sure that would've hurt a lot if it fell five feet and landed on me.

In better things, it was really funny we played arrangements of "Tequila" for open houses (iirc I was marimba on that) and "Walk Like An Egyptian" (xylo), and we did have arrangement for the Spongebob theme (I believe I played timpani for that one, I played a lot of timpani). I do recall that we did also play "Mercury Rising" by Nathan Daughtrey (I was vibes on that), and our teacher said that was the first time he was really actually nervous about something we were performing, because it of how sparse and pass-along the sound is and the speed, but it was fine in the end. It has a really fun section that's just an out of time free-fall key run.

I remember a lot of the pieces we did but I'm annoyed I can't remember the one I did in my spring junior year. I recall myself and the other marimba player (Brian, he also played bass guitar, he was very quiet and sweet), our teacher was apologetic to us both that the part was not interesting because it was a lot of just four-mallet chords. But, it was really important for this that the bass-line was steady, and he could trust we'd handle that and not zone out and stray off-beat in the middle.

[floralbfs]

i just watched treasure planet and uh. i can see why it's a gay favorite actually

[spotsupstuff]

Do you think Six is rich as hell?? He has lived for centuries, actually throught and saw all the events and revolution every man kind kind imagine.

Maybe he has the treasures that not many people know about in his hut, has a lot of currency he sometimes uses or not, maybe he also has some gold nugget in there? Tbh I don't care anymore where he got it from.

There's no way he has a long life just to sleep, eat, and fight with gods and eat again like some *cough* golden monkey, pfft no.

I bet he always hang out every sunday on starbuck with that much wealth...

im guessin all of this kinda really depends on his general like... outlook on life? n his values around this shit, cuz like.. his home aint Ugly, right, but its also not smth over the top id say- he doesnt seem too materialistic. he gives off more of the vibe of "whatever comes my way is gettin throw into my stash if i deem it pretty or useful enough". n beside that he has the whole shadow yaoguai thing going on so ig if he wanted a quick penny he could just wrshoomPfh into the nearest bank n rob em bitches silly

like i dont think he has generally passive income from the society, the theatre job seems to be able to max put the food on the table n his times as assassin arent entirely confirmed or even really a possibility in the canon, yanno. i dont think he has any real way of getting money in the first place even if he lived for fuck all long

that is to say FT!Six is absolutely loaded n has no clue what to do with 90% of his cash since he Did canonically to the au take assassin jobs. he took em mostly because they gave him a target, a Goal he could follow cuz beside that he just kind of wandered aimlessly- he wasnt ever really in it for the money but he still ended with the shit so now he has a money section in his shadow subspace since he doesnt trust digital cash for shit. he also despises currency changes n never subjects what he has to that shit so ya could literally find fuckin any kinda coin in his pocket at this point tbh

he gives Clem some kinda ancient dukát instead of smth reasonable n local n she ends up submitting it to the fuckin museum she tots could

[just-antithings]

i kinda wanna gush abt (some of) my ocs (mostly their sexualities) so uh. um. pardon me for the upcoming long ask ig hshdbdhxh

1. A is a lesbian who, in an alternate timeline where she's an entertainer at her friend's casino, willingly has sex with men. to her it's just part of the job, like a dress code, so it's nbd yanno

2. B honest to god describes his sexuality as that one Andrew Garfield quote. the one that goes "I'm straight but I have an openness to any impulse that may arise". ig that technically makes him bi but. he doesn't really like the label??? it just doesn't vibe with him yknow. he just tells ppl he's straight and if he's caught doin gay shit he simply says he is Honouring the Cowboy Tradition (and yes, he is an actual cowboy)

3. C is a demirom pansexual. he's p tame compared to A n B but when I first learnt what exactly the split attraction model exclus hate was abt this guy came to mind n like. it just baffled me. he's a 191cm (6' 3, I think?) teddy bear of a lumberjack who has to wear fps 6 gazillion sunscreen when he works because he's that fucking pale, and y'all would dislike him because his sexual and romantic attractions don't exactly match? bruh.

honourable mentions include: C's punk twin bro who may or may not be a bi gay; lean mean bitch machine fashionista who might be a pan lesbian; B's younger, equally cowboy demi aro brother who aspires to marry all his friends to spite (affectionate) B

that's all ^^

(OH! bonus points: C n his twin [let's call him D] are in something of a throuple with their best friend, E. its not official [even though E n C are so so so gay for each other] so they're actually more just bros with benefits. yes, the twins fuck each other. they usually only get it on together with E in the mix, though, cuz they don't really have an incentive to do so otherwise lol. C is embarrassed about it but D doesn't give a shit.)

hello anon i love your ocs so much

[liliacvol6]

POV: You’re The Hot Ex~ Bucky Barnes

This was inspired by a playlist I put together and I was full of “I’m hot as fuck, my ex is crying” vibes so I decided to write a lil something. 

No happy ending, unless someone wants a part 2?? I’d be down to write it, also if this is shit let me know because I want to improve my writing. Love y’all. 

~~~~

“You sure you wanna go to Stark’s party tonight? Barnes and his new girl will be there.” Nat said, sitting on the bed next to Wanda. They both looked at each other, the break up was hard but what had been harder to deal with was when Bucky had a stream of females constantly coming in and out of the tower where you both lived. And then, one day, the sex parade stopped and only one of them continued to come and go. April, was her name. She thrived off of Bucky and his Avengers status, you hated her for obvious reasons and couldn’t understand why Bucky would want her. She seemed like a fine person, but your personal bias was too strong for you to ever be kind to her.

“It’s fine, I don’t need him to feel good about myself, who knows maybe I’ll hook up with Sam or Steve tonight to really rub it in that I’m over it.” You said opening your closet and trying to find a hot outfit. You couldn’t decide whether you actually wanted to seduce one of your friends to try and piss Bucky off or not, but you wanted to look sexy anyways. 

“Mhm, right. Well maybe you should wear red.” Wanda suggested, making you turn around 

“Why red?” You questioned, making Nat turn to Wanda as well, she shrugged and said, “Well I happen to know Bucky likes that color on you.” You rolled your eyes, but turned around and started looking for your favorite red dress. Not to impress Bucky of course, but to look sexy in a dress of his favorite color and have him die knowing he can’t take it off of you.

~~~~

You were standing in the hallway waiting for Wanda to finish getting ready, Nat had already gone down saying she was going to grab drinks for the three of you, while you waited for Wanda. Wanda came out in a gorgeous black dress, you whistled at her 

“Get out, you’re the one who looks absolutely sexy.” You winked at her, looping your arms together you waltzed to the elevator to head down to the party. 

~~

It took everything in you not to scan the room and look for Bucky, so instead you looked directly to the bar. Nat was behind it filling her own drinks, you guys made your way over to her and noticed Steve sitting there chatting. 

He turned when Nat yelled hello above the music. “Wow, you ladies look amazing.” He said handing glasses to you and Wanda. Nat’s expression faltered a little and you soon found out why when Bucky and April approached the bar and sat next to Steve. You didn’t even look at him, you just took a sip of your cocktail.

“Jesus Nat, this is strong” You exclaimed laughing a little.

“Oh my god, I love strong drinks, right James? When we went on our first date that was something we bonded over.” April said laughing. You could picture her hugging his arm and you wanted to roll your eyes. But you looked up at smiled at her, “that’s cute”. You made eye contact with Bucky and tried your best not to show any kind of emotion. The breakup had been incredibly difficult and your tried your best to not show how hurt you were whenever you were around Bucky. He said he couldn’t worry about hurting you physically so instead he just decided to dump you on a mission instead. 

Sam came over, already drunk, and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and gave you a kiss on the cheek. 

“D.A.M.N. (Y/N) you are the hot ex, for sure, Buck don’t even look over here you’ll just regret your decisions” He said, making you smile silently and Wanda slapping Sam. 

“Sam...” Steve started to say, but before he could lecture you turned to Sam.

“Thanks, I’d love it if you danced with me right now. Yanno, since I look so good, it would be a shame if I just sat around all night.” Sam nodded and you led him onto the dance floor.

In truth, your heart was ripped out of your chest every time you saw Bucky. Especially the times when it was in the hallway and he tried to smile at you, but you just couldn’t do it. You tried your best to dance with Sam but you weren’t feeling it. You had to try your hardest to get over Bucky, so you tried to let it go. Just forget the pain, let the alcohol flood through you and now your goal was to try and fuck Sam. Just to get over the man who broke your heart.

~~~~

It was the end of the night, you spent a lot of time dancing sexily with Sam, only spotting Bucky and April once during your dancing. Bucky had made eye contact with you, you winked at him. At that point you had been wasted, it wasn’t an act anymore you were wanting Sam more and more, he was right. You were hot and ready to move on. Well, that’s what the alcohol haze was telling you.

~~

Now you were sitting with Nat drinking water to make up for the mass amount of alcohol. 

“You and Sam are getting pretty friendly” She said taking a sip of her drink, you shrugged your shoulders.

“Yeah, well gotta move on eventually.” You stated as you looked up and scanned the room, she snorted

“Right, that’s why you keep scanning the room for your ex?” You immediately took your eyes off of the room and turned to her. “Oh, shit, neverm-” You interrupted her by spilling your inner thoughts out. You were with your best friend and couldn’t hold back your emotions. You had them locked up since the break up and they just came flooding out.

“I’m so fucking sad, I want Sam sure for a one night stand because I keep telling myself it’ll make me get over him. But I know it won’t. I love him, I never fucking told him I loved him. We fought the day we broke up and I was going to tell him and then I didn’t and now I want to get over him but I just don’t know if I can.” You spilled your feelings to Nat, something you normally would not do if you were sober. Nat wasn’t speaking, she had reached out while you were talking and grabbed your hands. In your drunken state you thought it had been a grab of endearment 

“Uh, hi” You heard a female voice, you turned thinking it was Wanda but it was April standing there, with a red face and Bucky behind her holding a plate of cookies. “We came to offer you cookies, Bucky said they were Natasha’s favorites.” She said grabbing the tray from Bucky and placing it on the table. Bucky was staring at the ground and you got up and faced April.

“I’m sorry, I’m drunk, I didn’t mean anything I said honest-” Before you could finish, April slapped you across the face. “What the fuck?” You yelled grabbing your face. Bucky grabbed April and pulled her away from you.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked her, Nat got up and came next to you.

“You broke his fucking heart and then have the audacity to say you love him? really? When he is finally happy and in love again? We exchanged I love you’s already. Clearly if you loved him you would have told him.” April spat at you from Bucky’s arm. He looked at you with a horrified expression, you gulped in air. You didn’t know what to say. They already said I love you to each other? You were heartbroken.

“We’re leaving.” She said, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the party. 

You got to the door and hit the elevator button when you started to cry. 

“Wait, (Y/N), Nat!” You turned and saw Bucky,

“Great, fucking great” you said looking up at the ceiling and trying to stop the tears.

“Please, can I walk you to your room?” He asked, you knew he was looking at you, but you had turned away and didn’t want him to see you cry.

“No, Buck, go back to April. Make sure she’s fine.” You said quietly. You got into the elevator and when the door was closing you finally looked up at him. He had silent tears in his eyes.

“(Y/N) please, I love you too” He pleaded, the elevator door closed and you turned into Nat and cried hysterically on her shoulder. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 has been posted: https://liliacvol6.tumblr.com/post/653548607607275520/pov-youre-the-hot-ex-part-2 

Love you all xoxo

[hyenahunt]

Werewolf - 2

Writer: Nishioka Maiko

Season: Summer

Proofreading: 310mc (JP)

Translation: Bella & hyenahunt

Rinne: You ain’t talked at all, Sazamin. Ain’t that sus? You tryin’ to keep somethin’ from us?

[Location: Seisou Hall Common Room]

Sora: (Hehe ♪ Dazzling-oniisan and Shinobu-chan are the werewolves this time, huh~?

Yuu-chan’s the seer, and Master’s the medium.

As for Ei-chan senpai, Jun-chan-senpai, aaand Gambler-oniisan —

—they're all villagers. Sora’s got a good grasp on the situation!

This is gonna be an interesting game, huh~♪ Sora’s looking forward to it!)

Is everyone ready~?

Morning's come~. Please start!

Natsume: AlRIGHT. Tenshouin-senpai — or rather, the old fart is a wereWOLF. Everyone, vote to hang HIM...♪

Shinobu: Wha!? That's how you're going to start things off!?

Eichi: I object, Sakasaki-kun. Not only to the name you gave me, but even more importantly — why decide I'm a werewolf without any investigation whatsoever?

I’d like to hear your grounds for accusation, at the very least.

Natsume: Because I say you ARE? As you’re the worst person HERE, you old FART.

Eichi: How heartless. I’m a genuine law-abiding villager, you know? Hanging me would do nothing but put the villager faction at a disadvantage.

Shinobu: C-Could the two of you hold on for just a moment...

Yuta: Sakasaki-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai, please calm down!

Shinobu: (Yuuta-kun...! That's Yuuta-kun for you, coming to the rescue. The game can't keep going like this, so those two have got to be stopped!)

Yuta: I mean, if we're doing this based on sheer villain vibes, then a certain someone fits the bill even more. Isn't that right, Rinne-senpai? So yeah, let's all vote him out ♪

Shinobu: You too, Yuuta-kun!?

Jun: Both of your grudges are seriously on full display, huh. This ain't even a game anymore.

Rinne: Hold up, don’t just go decidin’ shit on your own! Ya boy’s one of them goody-two-shoe villagers too, yanno!?

Y'know, with the way he's makin' such a fuss to get me, a villager, hanged… Maybe Yuta-kun's actually the werewolf here.

Yuta: I'm a villager, alright! I swear to God I really am!

Rinne: I don’t trust a single thing that comes outta that mouth of yours. All you gotta do is change one li’l thing and your name gets pretty damn close to Judas, don’t it? [1]

Yuta: Excuse me!? My name's Yu-u-ta! And for the record, it's a tall order asking anyone to trust you!

Hiyori: Say, Jun-kun? Is the game supposed to play out like this?

Jun: Not in the slightest.

Hiyori: Hmm, that so?

Alright, I'd like everyone to stop and listen to me! At this rate, we're not going to get anywhere, are we? First of all, why don't we come out with our various roles?

For your information, I'm an innocent villager of the highest social standing, of course!

Eichi: Well, it’s just as Hiyori-kun says — senseless arguing will only waste time. I don’t have that much to spare, you know?

As for me, I’d like for the seer to reveal himself. We don’t have enough evidence otherwise.

Of course, staying hidden is a viable option, but… we’d simply have to start hanging people at random in that case. That wouldn’t be ideal for either faction, now would it?

Shinobu: Mmm... You've got a point there...

Well, I'll come out with it, then. I got the role of the "seer".

The first villager identity the GM told me was Tenshouin-dono.

Eichi: Fufu. That’s proof enough of my innocence, isn’t it? Too bad.

Natsume: TCH… But we still don’t know whether or not Shinobu-kun’s telling the TRUTH.

Yuta: Huh? W-Wait a minute! I'm the real seer!

And on that note, the villager I learnt of was Sakasaki-senpai.

Natsume: HmMM, well, it is true that I am ONE.

(Heheh. I’m not just a villager THOUGH.

I’m the “medium,” though I have to hide THAT. My very existence spells trouble for the “werewolves” who try to deceive everyone else in this PHASE.

After ALL, I can speak with the DEAD.)

NOW, isn’t that STRANGE? For there to be two “seers” HERE... That is to say: one of you is a sham — a werewolf in sheep’s cloTHING.

Yuta: Seriously~? I'm the real deal, though...

Shinobu: N-No, I am?

Jun: Hm? Speaking of which, aren't any other roles gonna out themselves? I guess it's typical for the "medium" to stay low, huh? I'm a villager, for the record.

Eichi: Ah, I see. With that, all of us have outed ourselves. Now - what shall we do?

Rinne: There’s nothin’ else to do but hang the two seers one after the other, yeah? The real one might bite the dust, but I’m pretty sure we’ll get the werewolf too.

Hiyori: I do wonder about that? As it stands, these two are in a gray zone ready to be hanged at any time. I believe it's worth noting that we could get even more information from actively leaving them alone!

After all, should we choose the wrong one to hang, it'll be a breeze for the werewolves to control the flow of the game.

Rinne: Man, you can think that way all you want, but that just looks like you’re a werewolf protectin’ his packmate, y’know? Hiyori-chan?

Hiyori: I'm fully prepared to be suspected for speaking up, of course. But it's precisely because I'm innocent that I can come out and say all this, you know!

Rinne: Whatever you say. By the way, I’ve been wonderin’ about somethin’...

You ain’t talked at all, Sazamin. Ain’t that sus? You tryin’ to keep somethin’ from us?

Jun: Wha!? You've got the wrong idea, man. I'm just overwhelmed by your combined enthusiasm.

Rinne: Then lemme make it a li’l easier for you. Tell us whatcha got, Sazamin!

Jun: Hmm... I guess I'd agree with Ohii-san here...

It's true that the more info we have, the more likely it'll be for us to get confused in this game, but if we let 'em live I feel like it'll be easier to find the second werewolf as well.

Watching out for who tries to protect each other is gonna prove to be important, I feel.

Hiyori: Yes, yes, Jun-kun. That's exactly it!

Sora: (Haha~♪ Dazzling-oniisan and Shinobu-chan sure are amazing at this, huh~? They’ve got the appearance of being villagers down pat!)

✦✦✦✦✦

Translation Notes: [1]: Rinne’s nickname for Yuuta is Yuta (ユタ), which, upon adding a dakuten to the last syllable, transforms it into Judas (ユダ) of Biblical traitor fame.

✦✦✦✦✦

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[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[jacaerysvelaryonsss]

congrats!!! 🥳 i propose a nsfw kirby dach headcannon 👀

oh my gosh yes of course 👀

Kirby Dach - NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I can see this man literally being the BEST at aftercare alright

He will 100% run you a bath or if you’re too tired to do that, will get a warm cloth and wipe you down with that

He will literally get you anything you need, whether it’s water because you’re thirsty or his shirt because you’re cold

And he’ll leave soft kisses on the places that he bruised from gripping too hard 

Basically he won’t even let you leave the bed unless he’s bringing you to the bath

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Now listen

Kirby is an ass man. Period. 

So he loves your ass

Because it’s so easy to grab, kiss, play with and smack 

Also loves your thighs 

Especially when they’re wrapped around his head, and he loves leaving hickeys on them 

I think his favourite body part on himself would be his hands

Just because they’re so big and he likes seeing them holding onto you yanno

Especially likes seeing them around your neck 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically..., I’m a disgusting person)

He LOVES to cum inside you 

And he especially loves seeing it come out of you when he pulls out 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Listen 

He would not mind if you got pregnant okay 

He doesn’t care if you guys are young, he just wants to put a baby in you 

Especially since he has everything to support you and a baby 

In fact sometimes I swear he hopes you get pregnant

Just because he’d think you’d look SO hot carrying his kid too

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kirby is young so he hasn’t been with too many people 

But oh my god does he ever know what he’s doing

Especially with his tongue

And he just knows how to hit all the right spots all the time

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

It’s doggy 

Or just taking you from behind in any way 

Because he can have such a great view of your ass and can also grab it

Also because he loves to pull your hair and see your back arch and he KNOWS it hits all the right spots

Will also pull you up by the hair and hold you up against his chest with his hand around your throat 

And he’ll just fuck you niceeeee and slow, but deep 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humours, etc..)

It honestly depends on the situation 

For example if he just had a bad loss he’ll be serious 

Like straight to business, his head is buried between your thighs and he’s going to town, no room for jokes

He just needs to get his frustration out, but he also wants it to be slow and drawn out

But if he’s in a really good mood, it’ll be goofy 

Literally, so much giggling, will even tickle you a little, nice sex 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc..)

Homeboy keeps everything clean down there

He trims the hair regularly to make sure it doesn’t get too long

Also the same shade as his hair 

Maybe a tiny bit darker

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, a romantic aspect..)

His way of showing intimacy is being close to you at all times

So he’s extremely intimate 

Also will also kiss every inch of your body 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

The only time he masturbates is when he’s on a really long road trip

Or even if he’s just away from you and he wants to he’ll just call you up late at night and then you guys do it together

Phone sex is very crucial to him okay

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

O V E R S T I M U L A T I O N 

Kirby absolutely loves to overstimulate you 

He will just bury his head between your thighs and use his tongue and fingers to get you off for hours 

In fact he actually did that a couple of times

L = Location (Favourite place to do it)

Since Kirby lives with other people and their KIDS

He just prefers to do it in the bedroom 

Plus he doesn’t wanna get teased for anything so 

But if no ones home and he knows nobody is gonna be home for awhile 

He will have no problem bending you over the counter and just fucking you hard

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If he sees you wearing his jersey 

Or just anything with his name

Then that’s it, just get prepared for Kirby to be turned on 

Especially after his games when you guys are leaving to go home

At least every night ends in car sex 

Because he just HAS to have you as soon as he sees you

And it’s maybe happened once or twice in the locker room after everyone left 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

We all know Kirby gives off dom vibes but one thing he would never do is degrade you 

He honestly just loves you too much to do that to you

And he just can’t see himself ever doing it 

O = Oral (Preference in giving, receiving, skill, etc..)

Alright this one I have to say is just a complete 50/50

Because as much as he loves to just go to town on you

He also loves seeing you down on your knees for him 

Especially while he puts his hand in your hair and guides you up and down

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc..)

Again, this honestly depends on how he’s feeling 

If he’s feeling a little sad or upset, he’ll be slow and sensual and be a lot more intimate 

But if he’s in a good mood, he goes fast and hard

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc..)

Quickies have basically become a regular part of your routine I swear 

Because everything you do turns this guy on 

If you guys are getting ready for an event? You bet your ass you’re thrown on the bed for a quick one

He sees you wearing something real nice at a party? He has you bent over the bathroom counter

Anyways yeah he's a horny one so quickies are often

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc..)

Oh

This guy would be SO down to blindfold you and tie your hands to the bed 

As for risks

Kind of? But not really 

He doesn’t want to risk anyone seeing you because you’re his and he won’t like someone else seeing that so

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last..)

Listen

He is a 6′3, young, professional athlete 

He can go on all night if he wants to

Can also last real long too

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Kirby doesn’t like the idea of anything else getting you off

He just wants it to be him

BUT

I mean if you just happened to have a vibrator 

He would totally use it on you 

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He can either be the most generous lover

Or the most cocky little shit and tease you endlessly 

Most of the time he likes to be cocky

But he likes seeing you squirm and beg for him 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he isn’t that loud when it comes to moaning and everything

Unless you’re blowing him then his head is thrown back and he’s just moaning and groaning SO loudly 

But most of the time during sex he’s just praising you

“you’re such a good girl”

“you look so good like this baby”

“takin me so well”

njdnckdmkfeovmdk

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

This guy LOVES having you sit on his face

He has such a perfect view on you when you do

And he loves watching your face as he eats you out

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Kirby is 6′3, big hands, big feet

Safe to say he’s PACKING

Probably around 6.5 to honestly 7 inches 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As mentioned before

Very high 

He can’t go like 2 days without sex I swear

Y’all have a VERY healthy sex life

Z = Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

It takes him at leas 10 to 15 minutes

He needs to wind down 

And he just wants to hold you in his arms for a bit before he does 

[grayintogreen]

How do you think Lucien's upbringing was for him to give that evil monologue? I'm specially curious about the "Someone needed to be the parent. When children have been acting out, well, making a mess of their potential, for this long even, a responsible caretaker must show discipline, enact punishment, and take the reins with force". Do you think Lucien was a gifted child who grew up to be the average adult or something like that?

This is actually funny, because Lucien gives that huge ass speech after he EXPLICITLY TOLD THE M9 HE DIDN'T HAVE FAMILY, so like LUCIEN. YOU FUCKING ORPHAN. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

But I'm going to tell you!

Here's the thing- Lucien gives off two very strong vibes to me, and these two things make up the entire crux of his personality as I, personally see it.

1. Massively self-sufficient.

2. Gifted child who was never challenged properly.

Lucien very much gives off the Dad Friend Vibe of the Tombtakers in like the worst possible way. Like not the NICE Dad Friend. The Dad Friend who has a belt and will use it on you. You know... The, uh... Cult Leader Vibe. What is a cult leader but the worst kind of dad friend. Yikes. Anyway.

So I think most of his speech about caretakers are specific to how HE has viewed wrangling the Tombtakers for however many years he's been doing it, because as someone who has been massively self-sufficient he has had to be his own parent and thus feels he is qualified to be the parent to others, even if he's being a parent to other children. I don't think that came from a place of experience, because I feel like if an adult beat that into him, he would have marginally different issues. Like that whole spiel doesn't sound like it comes from a place of emotional pain, so much as it's just him listing facts about what he thinks parents are supposed to do. It's a very by the book, intellectual response, like someone who has taught himself how to behave like that because It Is Logical And Right. Like in comparison, Lucien, in that same speech, reacts deeply emotionally to one single thing- the way he says "and they chose ME to be their herald" is one of the single most choked up line deliveries he ever gives. THAT is where his emotional pain comes from. He didn't feel special and the Somnovem made him feel special, but WE WILL GET TO THAT. Stick a pin in that.

Honestly, it sounds like Lucien seems to consider ANYONE who isn't him a child, despite the fact that he is CANONLY IN HIS MID-TWENTIES. He talks down to literally every single person he meets. He acts like he walks into rooms, looks at everyone assembled, and immediately is like "wow which of you fucks are wasting your potential in here, have you tried not doing that." I think some of this is just that he has gone so far beyond "enlightenment" that everyone is Lesser than he is, but I also firmly believe he was just Like That. If he sees people who are useful to him, then of course his "parental" nature (re: his manipulative streak) is going to want to try and nurture that potential. I don't even think he actively considers it being manipulative. He thinks he's doing people a favor.

The way he talks about the Somnovem to Cree about how he wanted to save them as they saved him ultimately boils down to this: he believed the Somnovem couldn't function without his intervention and he was the only person who had the skill and imagination to direct them the way they needed to go. And I think he's thought that about A LOT of people over the years. It's not malicious to him. It's not cruel- even if what he does to get obedience probably is. It's for their own good. Again- yikes. He's a fucked up person, y'all.

Now the gifted kid thing gets into some "oh god are you projecting on this villain chris" shit, because I am a former, massively understimulated gifted kid who burned out in high school because I was bored too often and spent more time daydreaming than I did paying attention.

Guess what Lucien's calling card is? Oh right. He's a dreamer.

That's Lucien. Lucien is a gifted kid who had NOWHERE to put his gifts. He's gifted in a town where half the population can't even read, so of course he developed a massive complex about being the smartest in the room, the only TRUE adult, even when he was, yanno a KID.

See when I was in elementary school, I was just soooo smart. I was reading HIGH SCHOOL level books for FUN and ooooooh so cool. Yeah, I'm not even bragging about it. Every gifted kid I have ever met has this same story, and I can be flippant about it because I know where it goes. You get into high school and your brain hits a goddamn brick wall and you get anxiety because you're not the most special anymore. Oh look! There's that pin I put there. I told you we'd circle back to that.

For Lucien, high school was probably the Orders. The Orders are an INTELLIGENCE-BASED organization, meaning for the first time in his life, Lucien isn't the smartest person in the room, because everyone is smart, so he no longer has that advantage he once had and he's no longer special. That is DEVASTATING to deal with, and because Lucien already had a massive superiority complex, instead of burning out and getting passing grades and ultimately resigning himself to a mediocre life of Blood Huntering, he went "no it is the ORDERS who are wrong" and fucked off with his posse.

Which meant that the FIRST THING that made him feel special and validated his existence, he went whole ham on, and then the minute it wasn't what he thought it was, he switched gears and decided "no, I AM special. You just need a little but of parental guidance, and we'll do this properly."

tl;dr: Lucien is 100% what you get when a gifted kid goes absolutely balls to the wall insane. As a former gifted kid, can confirm that I might have sold my soul to a bunch of eldritch sugar daddies if they validated me enough too. I won't lie.