#the THERAPY SWORD timeline

[friendlycursedspaceotter]

she’s an artist. she’s got DID and it’s not villainized. her armor is a bunch of tiny freaks in a trench coat. she’s good friends with one sword and traumatized another as a child but they are rebuilding that relationship. she infiltrated the mafia. her husband supports trans rights and I think she does too but this hasn’t been confirmed and probably won’t be for at least 3-5 years in our timeline. probably more. she needs therapy but was probably one of the reasons it was invented. she’s also ginger. I’m not saying who it is but you know who it is.

[pikapeppa]

Year-End Writer's Roundup: 2024 edition

It’s that time of year, writer friends: time to take stock of what we’ve been up to this year! Tagging to literally ANY AND ALL WRITERS who would like to participate — seriously, if you write and you see this, please take this as an invitation to fill it out! — but I’ll throw down some tags from the top of my head: @contrivedchaos @iamcayc @midnightacrobat @elveny @johaerys-writes @crackinglamb @alyssalenko @vorchagirl @auntie-coagulant @sweetorangepoptart @himluv @mwasaw @varric-tethras-editor and GENUINELY anyone else who wants to join in!

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!!): 882 674. A decrease compared to previous years, but there is a good reason for this (even though I need to keep reminding myself that it’s a good thing) — more details below.

Smut scenes: 44 — similar to the past few years.

New things I tried:

I wrote a fully-fledged poly ship for the first time with Halsin, Astarion and my Tav, complete with feelings and all! I’ve written sexual-only threesomes/moresomes before, but this is the first time I’ve had there be actual romance as well as sex. 

Significant M/M sexy time, including anal sex. I probably won’t write anal sex again for personal reasons, but I’m glad I dabbled at least.

I wrote something that I do not intend to post publicly, purely just for me. More on this later.

Fic I spent the most time on: 

My Astarion/Tav fic, just based on sheer number of words alone.

Fic I spent the least time on:

My Zoro/Reader fic, Relentless. These three chapters came together (HUEHUE) so quickly based on the sheer force of Zoro thirst. NOTHING LIKE THAT THREE-SWORD STYLE TO GET US WANTING HIS FOURTH SWORD 🤣

Favourite thing I wrote: 

This is tough this year aaaaaaaa. The Teia/Viago fic was one that I’d been wanting to write since 2020, and I’m grateful to the Veilguard hype for resparking that flame and making it happen. I LOVED writing all of my Halsin smut because Halsin just makes me SO CRAZY (I genuinely think he might be the one singular videogame boyfriend I’ve felt the most feral about). My Rolan/Tav fic felt like it was born from a very bright spark of inspiration, and I had a fun few weeks just blasting through writing that. 

But my #1 fave thing to write might have been the One Piece Sanji/OC fic that I am not planning to publish. Not publishing means there’s been no pressure to “make it good” or to figure out every detail of timelines/lore/OC backstory etc, so I can just do whatever I want. And that freedom to just make the fic mine, for me, has been really valuable this year. 

Favourite thing I read: 

Oh fuck, I read basically nothing this year HAHAHA. But I did read this one Sanji/Nico Robin smutfic that I REALLY loved. And I absolutely devoured a novel by one of my fave authors (Grown Ups by Marian Keyes) during our mini-vacay to Florida in February.

Writing goals for next year: 

My only goal for the coming year is this: to write only what I really WANT to write.

This probably sounds obvious, but it’s a whole thing that’s tied up with expectations of myself and self-worth and blah blah blah, so the rest of this post will be a bit of a personal essay that you can feel free to pass on HAHA.

I started therapy last year, and I’m in the part of my “therapy journey” now where one of the things I’m working through is the fact that I hold unhealthily high expectations of myself in basically every realm of my life. I force myself to suppress/compartmentalize/ignore my own feelings because I prioritize other people’s feelings over my own, and I spend a lot of my time focusing on things that I think I “should” be doing, at the expense of my own comfort levels/needs/physical or mental health etc. (ELDEST SISTER SYNDROME ANYONE?) And unfortunately, over the years, this way of operating has insidiously snuck its way into my writing.

When I first started writing fanfic in 2017, the writing was entirely born from an overwhelming desire to just get out this story in my head and make it a reality. I started writing for no other reason than because I wanted to. But as time went on and I gained a lovely following of readers, I started prioritizing my readers’ desires over my own. In particular, I’ve gotten too caught up by the idea of being That Writer™ who posts frequently and who finishes her fics: two qualities that I have often been praised for. This led to a habit of sticking to very strict schedules of always posting at least one chapter of something every single week — and if I was working on more than one fic, I would pressure myself to post a chapter of each fic every week. I would pressure myself to do this even when my back pain and migraines started flaring up in 2020, because I did not want to disappoint my readers.

To be clear: all of this was pressure coming from myself. Nobody was telling me I need to post every week or that I need to finish everything I write; I was the one holding myself to these insane standards. But for years, I’ve been able to meet these standards, and it hasn’t been a problem — or so I thought.

Then this year happened. Therapy stuff happened and health stuff got worse, and for the first time ever, I started having days where I just could not make myself write. I would sit at the computer for hours, unable to conjure any words. For some of my fics, this meant weeks or even months between updates. Sometimes when the words finally came, the writing felt like a struggle or a chore rather than an act of love, because I was doing something that I felt like I had to do rather than something I really wanted.

This has been absolute fucking torture for me. I felt so shitty about myself for not being able to do the one thing that I legitimately love doing the most in the world. This was especially distressing because I have given writing advice before stating that when you’re writing a long fic, you sometimes have to write shit you don’t want to write before you can get to the good stuff. And the fact that I’m struggling to do this now has left me feeling like a hypocrite and a failure for not being able to follow my own advice. 

To make things worse, some of the fandoms I’ve been writing for have been… unresponsive. The ratio of hits to actual comments has been pretty abysmal. The lack of engagement and encouragement just added onto the feelings of shittiness and inadequacy, as though I was failing to meet readers’ expectations somehow, and I can’t lie: it was part of why I stopped writing for one fandom this year, and I’ve never felt so bitter about finishing any fics as I did with a couple of the fics I wrapped up this year.

With time, a lot of tears and self-castigation, and ongoing therapy sessions, I’ve slowwwwwly realized that I am being unkind to myself by holding myself to such high expectations, and that I need to actively combat these expectations by refocusing on writing things that I want to write rather than worrying about disappointing my readers. I’m also working on writing only when I want to and when I feel good, i.e. not forcing myself to write when my head is throbbing or when I’m in too much pain to sit in my office chair. 

To this end, I have been writing some One Piece fic that I have no plans to post publicly: fic that is entirely self-indulgent fun. And it’s actually been the best exercise in returning to the hedonistic selfish joy of writing what I want, which is why I started doing this in the first place. Moving forward, I’m going to keep working on writing for myself first and foremost. I’ll strive to write what only what really sparks joy for me, and if that means my word count keep dropping year after year, I will try to remind myself that this is a good and healthy thing, since any words that I write should be a gift to myself first and foremost. 

[kbookblurbs]

Wind and Truth - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #5)

4/5 - midseason-finale ass book; he needs to scrap this editor; this book simply never ends

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!! LIKE FIRST LINE!!!

We finally come to the end of the first arc of the Stormlight Archives and they are going to need a new name. Before we dive in, I want to clarify that I did enjoy this book! I think it tackled a series of very hard-to-conclude plotlines in a relatively good way, and I think it sets Sanderson up for success in the latter half of this series. With that said, I'll be splitting this review into four parts:

Kaladin, Szeth, & therapy speak

The Spiritual Realm plot

Azir

Book mechanics

Kaladin, Szeth, & Therapy Speak

Now first of all, anyone who's read anything I've written knows I love Kaladin - he's one of my favorite characters of all time and his journey through depression is one of my favorite parts of this series. That said. I find the whole timeline of this healing to be highly suspect, and his attempts at therapizing embarrassing at best and deeply annoying at worst. What context is there for him to go from literally attempting suicide in the last book to semi-competent therapist in no time at all? Need I remind Sanderson myself that there is no time skip between the end of RoW and WaT?

The language is also just bafflingly modern in a way that nothing in this series has been before, but we'll get to more on that later.

The flip side of this criticism is that Szeth's plotline was easily my favorite of the book. His completed arc might rise to rivaling Kaladin's (thus far) in terms of how much I enjoyed it. His backstory is so tragic (slay for the almost successful military coup though?) and I truly believed he wasn't going to make it through the book until the very last page. His moments with his father, in the past and present, brought me to tears more than once.

The Spiritual Realm Plot

This whole plotline took too long and frankly, it was boring. Watching Shallan slay her demons for the umpteenth time and deal with Formless again and kill her mother again was, and this may be controversial, not a very interesting plot point to me. She's done all this before. I feel that this book, as a whole, gave diminishing returns on her pagetime to character development ratio. I also don't feel that Shallan, with all her everything else, needed a Herald as a mother as another twist, but maybe that will be more relevant in the future. For that reason, and that reason only, I'll bite my tongue on criticizing it unnecessarily

While it was nice to see Renarin and Rlain get together, I have to admit that Renarin's POV didn't add much for me. I think Sanderson could have written the entire plotline for these two from Rlain's perspective and it would've been far more interesting since he is, in my opinion, the more interesting character between the two of them. Renarin's POV does not reveal anything that isn't already clear from other POVs.

I also just wanted more of Ba-Ado-Mishram. She was haunting the story but not present. I understand that's likely for later plot reasons, but it did make this section drag. Dalinar contributed to that but  we don't have time to get into that right now. I was happy he died though (long overdue, in my opinion).

Azir

Adolin #1 character of all time? The only one to save their assigned city and did it with 0 Radiants and the power of friendships? Nobody is doing it like him.

I loved the founding of the Unoathed and, particularly, Yanagawn's development. I'm really hoping that Yanagawn becomes a more important character in next major arc, since he was so sweet here.

I did not love that we spent probably 25% of the book in Azir fighting battles. Contrary to the opinion of Sanderson many fantasy authors, there is an upper limit on how many battles you can include before I get tired of reading them. There's only so many ways you can swing a sword or block a pike etc etc before I'm bored.

Book Mechanics

Overall, I find this concluding book to be much weaker than the other 4 in the series. Whereas it had seemed that the pacing was improving in Oathbreaker and Rhythm of War, here we were back to all over the place. While I liked that he split the plot into each day leading up to the contest, the timeline genuinely made no sense.

Beyond that, this entire book was filled with oddly YA-style prose that has never appeared in the Stormlight Archive until now. I think whoever edited this book must be different from the other four because, in my opinion, it was much too modern, not as tight, and frankly, not as good. And I know this might be controversial, but I did not think Maya calling Adolin a slut was funny. Why would she even use that word? Whore or prostitute would've been acceptable because they've been referenced here before but I found that example and others like it to be jarring.

Conclusion

I liked this book, but it's by a longshot my least favorite in the series. It was too long and frankly, some of the characters didn't even sound like themselves. I know that Sanderson can do better than this, but it leaves me a little wary for the next arc.

There's lots here I didn't cover (Jasnah my beloved, Sigzil! I'm in mourning) but this was already quite long. DMs / ask box are always open if you'd like to chat more.

[autisticlalna]

yesterday's lore roundup: we got confirmation that Vintage is Olm's host...

Avid: Technically, you're in a polycule, because everyone Olm's ever possessed is inside of Olm's mind, and they're in the mind there for all eternity. Marmalade: "Is this couple's therapy with Marmalade?" Unfortunately, it seems that it is couple's therapy with Marmalade. Avid: So... Ruby: [stunned] What? Avid: The thing is, Ruby, like, you basically... have to share... Marmalade: Ruby, if you could-- Could you please, could you please, come down from the shulker boxes, just, y'know, so that we're all on the same level now. Ruby: Who... who has he-- Avid: Vintage is in there, probably, by the way-- Ruby: Who has he possessed? Who has he possessed? Avid: Vintage's hands are at the bars at the prison, shaking it furiously, "Let me out! Let me out!" Ruby: Avid, who has he possessed? Avid: --and everyone behind her is like, "first time, huh? First time," all the other brains and the minds in there. Yep. Ruby: Avid. Avid, I'm going to say this very politely. [draws sword] Who has he possessed. Avid: Uh... Let's see. There's this one person named Chara, um... Eromourn, he's still kinda... Ruby: Oh, he's kinda hot though, okay. Avid: Timelines are funky... Uh, and then all-- There's many others I haven't disclosed over quite a- quite a millennia.

...because of Avid talking about Cherruby being in a polycule.

he also confirmed that OSSHA Vintage being in Vintage's episode 1 means that Olm has been there for a while.

[soniclozdplove]

So I have a mini theory about TOTK based on the memories, major spoilers under cut

So Zelda is around 10,000 years in the past, in the Era where this iteration of Hyrule was first founded. I say this iteration because I believe that this isn't the true original Hyrule that we know to have been founded form Skyward Sword but most likely a refounding of the kingdom from further down the timeline, similar to how New Hyrule was founded by Link and Tetra after Wind Waker, but that's my own headcanon and I don't really want to deal with the whole timeline bs right now. Which is why I'm only focusing on Zelda doing time travel in TOTK.

So... my question here is, exactly how long was she in the past!? The answer is 10,000 years, I know, but I mean... how long was ZELDA in the past. Not Zelda the Light Dragon but Zelda as herself. Time travel is a finicky subject since, for us, she could have only been missing for weeks, maybe months, before the end of the game. For her it could have been much, much longer.

My idea stens from a few factors, first being her relationship with Sonia and Rauru and the second being the Imprisoning War. A little bit of Ganondorf thrown in there too.

First and foremost, the bond between Zelda and her ancestors. Queen Sonia and King Rauru treat Zelda, a literal stranger to their politics and therapy, like a daughter. Far more so than he rown father ever did! When she has something to say, they listen to her concerns and validate them. Now that could just be them being good parental figures to their decendant, but Rauru had no reason to believe a word Zelda said about her concerns over Ganondorf's treachery when, in her time, the Imprisoning War that hadn't even happened yet was little more than a legend and barely remembered history. Nobody even knew who the Zonai were by the time BOTW came along. Yet Ganondorf aoemhow knew Sonia would listen if Zelda asked to see her in private, and Sonia and Zelda were both able to put a contingency plan in effect to thwart the attamped assassination. True they failed in the end, but the initial attempt had failed and the fact Ganondorf knew Zelda's image would move Sonia to leave her protection and her husband says a lot in and of itself.

Then the war itself. First of all, war isn't a quick matter. There is jo su h thing as a fast war no matter what history claims. All war is messy and takes years to deal with the fallout. And the Imprisoning War wasn't a simple skirmish. It was a massive war that put the Hylians and their aloud forces to the rbink of extinction, one that had long lasting consequences including but not limited to the longterm exclusion of all males within the Gerudo tribe with the exception of Link over 10,000 years down the line, and even then that only happened AFTER he saved the tribe twice over. A war that is o far reaching it is mere jyth and legend yet still very present at the time of BOTW. By the time the Sages swear allegiance to Rauru, he was the last bastion against the Demon King in his rampage with the last of the Gerudo falling shortly beforehand. That is, the Gerudo who are OP as hell in BOTW in all accounts and are literally trained from childhood as elite warriors in most cases.

Zelda had FOUGHT in that war and had spent an undetermined time after its ending, preparing the Kingdome of Hyrule and the remaining survivors for Ganondorf's inevitable revival as best she could. That in and of itself will likely take years, especially since she had to find a caretaker for Rauru and Sonia's unnamed and unseen heir to ensure her bloodline lasted long enough for her own birth.

So, I bring you back to my theory... Zelda has been in the past for at least several years before she turned into the Light Dragon. She did not immediately go to the Temple of Time and swallow the secret stone. She had to have had at least several months after the war at minimum before she could transform into a dragon. I know the Tears make it appear shorter than it was but there's no way all the events of the 8 tears can happen within a span of a few months. It had to have been years.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

You kind of know about Decussate (my Cross variant). The multiverse he originates from is known as Knight’s tale. A multiverse that is more heavily fantasy based. Dragons are the third race among humans and monsters.

With all the out of the way,

I just want to briefly introduce you to the main Killer of Knight’s tale.

Killer wears the skull of a dragon, a black cloak and wields the legendary sword, Excalibur.

Clipped out of his alternate universe’s reality. Became displaced by the multiverse for a short while but was rescued by Core Frisk, Dream, Ink and Color.

He’s not a bad or good guy. Just hangs around in the Delta Sanctuary (Omega Timeline equivalent). Is getting the help and therapy he needs.

Killer and Decussate do not get along in the slightest. Disgusted by how Decussate reminds him too much of Chara. Appalled by the Decussate’s connection with The Angel and dragons.

[kdinjenzen]

Ocarina of Time is a great game EXCEPT for the fact that the story deals with the idea that “Young Link isn’t old enough to be the hero of time” by locking him in stasis while allowing his body to continue to age.

The Master Sword really said “Nah, you need to be taller.” and then did nothing to actually grow Link’s mind beyond that of a 10 year old.

And then Majora’s Mask happens A FEW MONTHS AFTER OCARINA OF TIME and suddenly “nah, we already traumatized this kid, let’s send him to a world that is going to die in three days with some of the most fucked up horror scenarios ever and see what happens next.”

I propose a FOURTH Zelda timeline split because of this.

I like to call it the “Gerudo find Link and scream in horror over what the absolute fuck the ‘good prophecies’ did to this child. Then adopt him and run away to a different land far away from the bullshit Magic of Hyrule nonsense” Timeline.

Link gets therapy in this timeline and becomes a baker.

[demonfox38]

Completed - Crystalis

Nothing like enduring one catastrophe to inspire playing through another one.

So, here’s a timeline for you:

October 1st, 1997—According to this game, the world we knew came to a fiery, missile-riddled end. Despite this, reality continued.

September 23rd, 2019—I bought "Crystalis" on eBay.

October 1st, 2019—I put the game in my console and discovered it accidentally lined up with the 1997 date. Chuckles were had.

September 20th, 2023—During a yearly video game battery check, it appeared that no save files for "Crystalis" were loading. I grabbed a replacement battery and took the game to my parents’ house for my father to resolder. Procrastination left it untouched until…

June 22nd, 2024—A flood occurred in my parents’ hometown. The volume of water that came with this submerged the entire basement of their split-foyer home, causing significant property and structural damage. (But, hey. At least the foundation didn’t collapse.)

July 1st, 2024—While cleaning up, my father found the games I had left for his repair. Upon opening them up, I determined that all three were destroyed beyond salvaging (of which "Crystalis" was one.)

July 11th, 2024—I purchased a new copy of "Crystalis" on eBay.

There's a funny little trauma that happens after you've survived a flood. Like, you'd think a heavy rain or standing water in the streets would be more triggering after something like that. Which, hey. I'm not big on that, either. But, the real brain zap comes from remembering just how much was lost. Like, reading about religious texts and remembering the copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead that used to be in the basement. Going through record albums at an antique shop and recalling how both of my parents had a copy of the "Star Wars" album before they were married. Seeing pictures of the couch that was older than my sister and knowing it was torn apart and hauled away as nothing more than ruined trash. That's not even getting into the more practical nightmares of dealing with losing all of our vehicles.

Don't get me wrong. Weirdly, I'm glad that I was there to help my parents get through this mess. I was a major contributing factor in getting our pets to safety, and I know I saved some significant items that were in the basement (guns, ammunition, and a good deal of electronics.) But, there was definitely a price to pay for all of that.

I'm just lucky that I can afford the ~$400 replacement car payment…

As a way to cap this shit-tier year off, I decided to finally get around to playing "Crystalis." Seems like direct therapy, right? Beat the game so that, in the event it too is destroyed, I can at least have the memory of having gotten through it once. Keeping that in mind may have paid off not only for myself, but for the game as well. Because, let me be honest. It was jumping on my nerves like a monkey on a couch. But, its potential fate could have ended in a watery grave with a popped, corroded battery splattering all over its PCB. Few games are nasty enough to deserve a death like that.

"Crystalis" is a 1990 fantasy action game released by SNK. In it, you play as an amnesiac, mute dude-from-a-tube who has been awakened in a post-apocalyptic, futuristic version of Earth. And by that, I mean, you have to use elemental swords to shoot magic at creatures that may have once been other animals, but now roughly resemble something from Gary Gygax's sketchpad. The end goal is to stop Draygon (a villain whose name turns out to be very on-the-nose) and his four henchmen from spreading its abusive empire across of what is left of the planet, as well as lassoing the strange floating tower hovering in the sky.

Maybe you can get some wise people to help you. Maybe your counterpart girl-in-a-tube could help you out, too. Ya know. Once she's done being kidnapped. 

A layman might describe this game as "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild" but developed 30 years in the past. That's missing a significant data point. See, I know what this game idolizes. I know what photos it hides in its high school locker, what perfume it wears, why it styles its hair in the way it chooses. This game adores "Ys II." Maybe it wants to emulate it. Maybe it wants to wear it as a second skin. But, oh man. "Ys II." That's the DNA that serves as the base to this game's genetic structure.

Is it just a vibe check? Perhaps. But, it's making my intuition crackle like a Geiger counter. The field to snow to cave progression, the tower in the sky motif, the people enslaved and set in stone, the missing kid, the weird animals living in isolation and fear, the important female figure that is almost completely useless, the limited inventory, the emphasis on magic…there's just a lot here that brings "Ys II" to mind. I'm not faulting "Crystalis" for this. I know it's not the only game that has done this. (Looking at you, "Lagoon.") I just want it to know that I know. I know. I accept.

Also, not everything's about "Zelda" games. (Although, "Neutopia" is. But, that might be a subject for another time.)

While I find the premise interesting, I don't think "Crystalis" actually does much with it. Without two screens at the beginning and three screens at the end, this may have just been a straight fantasy game. There's not exactly a lot of broken-down cars or city rubble lying around. I wouldn't say it's as graceless as Roger Corman's "Teenage Caveman" when it comes to its messaging or apocalyptic events, but God, is it tiptoeing right up to that line. Frankly, a lot of the environment and enemy design from "Faxanadu" may have worked better for this world than what was presented. But, again—this is not something to drown the game over.

The appeal of "Crystalis" comes more down to its gameplay. For certain Nintendo addicts craving a top-down fantasy game with real-time combat and exploration elements, this will scratch the itch. Personally, I was struggling to get along with it. Exploring the world? Fine. The dungeons were a bit tricky, but it wasn't something that memorization or following an online map couldn't solve. Fighting? Eh…

A few things were getting in the way of my interfacing with this game. First, my left thumb was killing me. Like, if I went over an hour of gameplay, it would scream at me. It's probably some residual damage from going over a hundred hours in "Vampire Survivors" recently. Additionally, I was playing this through my HD TV set. While it does have an AV hookup in the back, it's not exactly Retrotink quality, if you catch my drift. The video feed is lossy with colors. It takes more time to process the image than a direct AV to CRT set would. Between pain and questionable video performance, I was having trouble maneuvering through the game.

Not that those problems are the game's fault. Those are factors well outside of its control. Inflicting my dude with a status ailment any time he so much as shoulder-checked an enemy was, though.

I don't think this game is set up well for typical sword combat. Because getting hit by an enemy will often result in poisoning, paralysis, or calcification, you're going to want to keep back and give yourself room to dodge. Additionally, you are granted projectiles by charging up your sword. So, while you could go face-to-face with some drooling ghoul, you could also just hang back a second and let some elemental volley do your dirty work for you.

Warning: if you do have any light sensitivity, skip this game. The elemental charge for the Thunder Sword is severe.

While I didn't enjoy handling standard encounters, I did find the boss fights in this game to be interesting. Most of them come down to "memorize the patterns; dodge the projectiles." Despite this superficial simplicity, they can often be challenging, especially if you aren't packing enough health and/or MP restoring items. The game is usually good about letting you continue from the boss room, should you be wiped across the floor. Just stick with it, apply some neurons, and victory is usually assured within two or three attempts.

The choice of available save spots is irritatingly low, by the way. It's basically overworld areas and cities. No boss camping for you. You do that dungeon, suck up your failures, and keep continuing, young man. (Of all the things this game didn't take from "Ys II"…)

MP conservation will help you survive more grueling encounters. The game is somewhat liberal with the support spells you get, initially starting you off with a healing spell. It does require you to keep holding the A button until you are maxed out, however. (This will likely drain half of your MP bar in the process.) You do eventually get a spell for reversing status ailments, but not before going through great pains to get it. Barriers are vital for eating boss projectiles at the end, and proper use of the Change spell will net you strong items. Hell, you even get a teleport spell, for when you need to GTFO.

Or, you could just press A+B on your primary controller, then A on a secondary controller. (Assuming you unequip your spells, anyway.) Then, you can just teleport to one of sixteen checkpoints whenever cost-free. Thank you for the oversight, dev team!

You will have to manage your level in order to improve your health and damage output. It's fairly low, only capping out at 16. You will want to max that out before the final two dungeons. Additionally, you should be swapping your swords around from time to time. Some enemies are only immune to specific kinds of elements, so you will want to have the right sword to handle them. (Weirdly enough, some rocks require different elements to break them. I get using the Water Sword to freeze waterways, but needing different elements to break down rocks? Very strange and picky…)

Also, expect to grind for cash. Reality's economy isn't in your favor, and neither is this game's. Although, you really can't hold too many items. It's 8 consumables, 8 accessories, 8 key items, and 8 spells. You'll probably end up pawning off your armor and shields from time to time to make room, as you can only carry four of those. Again—you're going to want to get good at managing your MP. Maybe review what your accessories do as well. God knows I accidentally made the game harder on myself by not using more than the Gas Mask for half the game…

In terms of technical execution, "Crystalis" is…well, I'd say that a static screenshot of it looks better than "The Legend of Zelda" or "Faxanadu." It does suffer from common MM3 mapper rendering issues (think the menu rendering bugs from "Mega Man 3.") There are also several instances where the glut of sprites on screen results in dropped sections or slowdown, particularly with bosses. The music is also okay, but some of the instrumentation is a little high-pitched for my liking.

It's doing much better than the Micronics port of "Athena," at least. I feel like that game is accidentally going to damage my NES every time I boot it up. (As opposed to a Wisdom Tree game, which is deliberately going to war with the lock-out chip. Cursed behavior…)

Speaking of Athena—I saw that purple girl character named Asina. I know what's been botched in translation. (I wonder if Mesia was supposed to be Messiah, as well.) While the translation initially starts okay, it does fall apart towards the end. Particle drops, typos, one NPC making no logical sense. All the fun of 30+ year old translation work…

If this game has a fatal flaw���as in, may have contributed to my first copy being destroyed—it is definitely with the menu design. Pressing the Start button allows you to see your current status and equipment. Pressing Select gets you into the item and equipment screens. Loading a game requires you to hit Select, then Start, then navigate to either Save or Load, then selecting your file. That is some goofy-ass shit. (So is pressing Up + A on a second controller to force a save screen a la Zelda, but that's significantly fewer screens and commands to remember.) Because of this nonsense, I've often wondered if my battery check for "Crystalis" was wrong and I just didn't see that the game and its battery were working. I wonder if it died for nothing.

That's the flood trauma, man. Wondering what more you could have done...

I'm disappointed that I didn't jive more with "Crystalis." I think it's a decent enough game. Definitely, not something that deserved to be destroyed as horridly as it was. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for its shenanigans. It's not like my own human body is a perfectly programmed interface, either. Sometimes, there's just not chemistry happening. (As long as it's not causing a battery to short circuit and explode. Am I right?)

The NES version of "Crystalis" is fairly cheap for a cartridge game, running around $20.00 USD as of December 2024. I've heard that it was on Nintendo Switch Online, but I'm not certain about the specifics of how that works or if it is still available. Given some of the game's annoyances, you may want to find a way to raise the black flag on it. Get it in a program that will let you take save states whenever you'd like. That may significantly help your experience.

But, hey. Don't feel like you have to take my opinion on this. I was the dumbass that spent several hours cleaning off and saving copies of such wondrous NES titles like "Milon's Secret Castle", "Karnov", and "Dirty Harry" post flood. They certainly deserved my mercy less than "Crystalis." Perhaps, its fate as well.

I may have my sentimentalities misplaced.

[12-cluh]

(since I'm on an absolute tirade with my o5 council posts, I figured I'd make a single post with all of them and their backstories. this'll be updated gradually so you might wanna check back sometimes for updates)

Please enter credentials. Processing... Welcome, Administrator. What files would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "O5 Council Personnel Files" What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-1"

Full Name: James Aaron Siegel Designation: O5-1 Codename: The Founder Purpose: Guiding most base foundation operations. Age: 51 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: The United Kingdom Accent: British Medical Information: 89% of his body is composed of mechanical replacements because of the an attack by SCP-682 during the Anomalous War. Social Relationships: Romantic partner of The Nazarene (O5-2). Closest platonic relationship is The Administrator (O5-0). Other Information: In a romantic relationship with the previous Administrator before her untimely death. Founded the Society for the Preservation of Humans during the anomalous war to save as many people as they could. On one of the missions, he came into contact with SCP-[PENDING] (The Gate Guardian), which told him to "protect". Constantly carries SCP-0462 (Lucifer’s Sword) What file would you like to access? What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-2"

Full Name: Ezra Nahir Designation: O5-2 Codename: The Nazarene Purpose: Chief information on interdimensional travel. Age: 49 Gender: Female Pronouns: She/her Country of Origin: Iraq Accent: Arabic Medical Information: Nothing of Note Social Relationships: Romantic partner of The Founder (O5-1). Closest platonic relationship is The Psychiatrist (O5-3). Other Information: She was brought into our universe via unknown means from another one. She is the alternate version of one of the researchers at the foundation. Her counterpart native to our timeline has not been made aware of her existence. First encountered The Founder (O5-1) during the same period of time in which he met SCP-[PENDING] (The Gate Guardian). Enjoys gardening. Former head of the ethics committee. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-3"

Full Name: Dr. Hoga Kenshin Designation: O5-3 Codename: The Psychiatrist Purpose: Chief of the Ethics Committee, in charge of quality of life. Age: 37 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: Japan Accent: Non-Discernable Medical Information: Nothing of Note Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationships are The Nazarene (O5-2) and his assistant (Deborah Syphus). Other Information: Assisted in founding the Ethics Committee. A more recent addition to the council as a new person was needed after The Nazarene (O5-2) stepped down. Got a Ph.D. in bioethics while on the council. Firmly believes that therapy on personnel and anomalies could solve many issues the foundation faces. Constantly butts head with O5-6 (The Cowboy) due to his method for keeping the world safe is to “shoot it until it dies.” Enjoys gambling as a hobby.

What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-4"

Full Name: Kai Taylor Designation: O5-4 Codename: The Ambassador Purpose: Serves as a liaison between The Foundation and other GOIs. Age: 36 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: Australia Accent: Australian Medical Information: Slight anxiety. Social Relationships: Unconfirmed romantic relationship with O5-7 (The Unlikely). Closest platonic relationships are O5-10 (The Archivist) and O5-0 (The Administrator) Other Information: Worked at the foundation before the anomalous war, after which he gained a seat on the council. The reason for the speculation on his romantic entanglement with O5-7 (The Unlikely) is that while he has denied it, O5-7 (The Unlikely) confirmed it. Assigned female at birth. A former actor, which could possibly explain his absurd charisma. Confirmed to have super-speed, capable of crossing the entire globe in seconds at a speed of 3496330 miles an hour, or 4556.85 times faster than sound. While he works with O5-5 (The Blackbird), they are not close friends. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-5"

Full Name: Gabriel Lucien Designation: O5-5 Codename: The Blackbird Purpose: Chairman of the Department of Paranormal Organisation Review. Age: 42 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: Turkey Accent: Turkish Medical Information: Nothing of Note Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationships are O5-6 (The Cowboy) and O5-7 (The Unlikely). Other Information: Has a pension for birds for an unknown reason. Constantly doodles birds, goes on birdwatching tours, has a signature with 5 blackbirds, and incorporates birds into his outfits. Has a pet raven named Edward, or Eddy for short. A skilled artist. One of the more laid-back members of the council, known for his level-headed decision-making. Uncle of Calvin Lucien, Special Agent of the Chaos Insurgency. Extremely regretful of what he did to their family. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-6"

Full Name: ​​Jasper Morgan Designation: O5-6 Codename: The Cowboy Purpose: Commander and Field Leader of Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 (The Red Right Hand) Age: 43 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: United States of America Accent: Southern America Medical Information: Smoker. Social Relationships: “Friend with benefits” too O5-11 (The Liar). Closest platonic relationships are O5-5 (The Blackbird) and O5-7 (The Unlikely). Other Information: While they are still friends, he and O5-7 (The Unlikely) are antagonistic towards each other due to his connection with the Chaos Insurgency, which was founded by former Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 (The Red Right Hand) operatives. Founding member of the new O5 Council. Only ever seen wearing a bright white suit and wearing a white cowboy hat. Holds an office in the Pentagon. Suspected of not knowing how to ride a horse as, anytime he’s tried, he’s quickly fallen off. Wears a black and red suit when on missions with Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 (Red Right Hand). What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-7"

Full Name: Victor Dreyfus Designation: O5-7 Codename: The Unlikely Purpose: Head Director of the Chaos Insurgency Age: 38 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: United States of America Accent: Neutral American Medical Information: Scar over left eye. Social Relationships: Unconfirmed romantic relationship with O5-4 (The Ambassador). Closest platonic relationships are O5-5 (The Blackbird) and O5-6 (The Cowboy). Other Information: Has survived a curious number of assassinations, which likely means anomalous interference. Catholic. Tallest member of the O5 Council. The Council is aware of his relationship to the Chaos Insurgency which has led to many arguments with O5-6 (The Cowboy). What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-8"

Full Name: Ethan Monroe Designation: O5-8 Codename: The Lesser Purpose: Chief Contingency Coordinator Age: 31 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: United States of America Accent: Neutral American Medical Information: Heavy Anxiety, PTSD Social Relationships: Romantic partner of The Outsider (O5-9). No close friends to speak of. Other Information: Extremely cautious due to a mistake in the past which led to the assassination of Dr. Ivans. Wears a large metal mask that resembles a skull. He’s denied telling the reason as to why, but the two prevailing theories are either shame or heavy scaring. If the scaring theory is correct, they likely came from the train crash that took the lives of his brother and 97 others. Extremely scared of O5-0 (The Administrator) due to a previous encounter after the assassination of Dr. Ivans. This event has also led him to severe caution in decision-making. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-9"

Full Name: Lorelei Aroha Campbell Designation: O5-9 Codename: The Outsider Purpose: Serves as an interpretation of what Foundation actions look like to civilians. Age: 29 Gender: Female Pronouns: She/her Country of Origin: New Zealander Accent: Kiwi Medical Information: N/a Social Relationships: Romantic partner of O5-8 (The Lesser). Closest platonic relationship is O5-11 (The Liar). Other Information: Carries a cane for no reason as she does not have any medical problems that would require it. Her appointment barely passed, with a Council vote of 5 to 4. When not working for the foundation, she is a geology professor. Initially developed a relationship with O5-8 (The Lesser) out of pity, but she claims she grew to love him genuinely. May be cheating on him, however, he hasn’t been made aware. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-10"

Full Name: Asha Sinclair Designation: O5-10 Codename: The Archivist Purpose: Keeps the records of the foundation and its operations. Age: 44 Gender: Female Pronouns: She/It Country of Origin: Botswana Accent: Neutral American Medical Information: Wings Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. No close friends. Other Information: There have been multiple archivists before the current O5-10 (The Archivist), even before the Anomalous War. Has wings, and has denied telling anyone where they came from, though that, coupled with the markings on her face, leads to several religious theories. Has access to a Way, leading to the Wanderer’s Library, the base of operations of the Serpent’s Hand. An unconfirmed contempt for humanity as she rarely ever talks to anyone outside of her duties. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-11"

Full Name: Lorelei Vale Designation: O5-11 Codename: The Liar Purpose: Chief Disinformation Officer Age: 39 Gender: Female Pronouns: She/her Country of Origin: Unknown. Accent: Varies. Medical Information: Nothing of Note Social Relationships: “Friend with benefits” to O5-6 (The Cowboy). Closest platonic relationships are O5-9 (The Outsider) and O5-5 (The Blackbird). Other Information: Most definitely a shapeshifter, with all her forms being conventionally attractive and donning expensive clothing. A quite sizeable risk to the foundation prioritizes their self-interests over the good of the council and others. Sometimes rumors around the foundation for the fun of it. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-12"

Full Name: Cyrus Neuros Designation: O5-12 Codename: The Cerebral Purpose: Anomaly Rotation Officer, Personnel Interviewer. Age: 33 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: America Accent: Uses a computer to communicate. Medical Information: A brain in a jar. Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationship is with his caretaker (Margret). Other Information: Possibly the inventor of the current amnestics the foundation uses. Was initially known as The Physician before his injury that forced him into the jar he now sits in. Was a victim of SCP-106 (The Old Man) which caused his body to fail, leading to a rushed council vote to save his life. Currently trying to have a robot body built, progress remains stunted. Right now, in his own words, “we’re just kinda going with the flow of things.” Has a malaysian striped coral snake named Shesha. Has a collection of model trains. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-13"

Full Name: Yalmü-Garbha Designation: O5-13 Codename: The End Purpose: Prisoner of the council. Age: Existed since the beginning of time. Gender: Inapplicable. Pronouns: He/they/it Country of Origin: Inapplicable. Accent: Varies Medical Information: Nothing of Note. Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationship is O5-6 “The Cowboy.” Other Information: The earthly avatar of The Brothers Death. In the event of any form of end-of-the-world scenario where next to or all of humanity perishes, O5-13 (The End) has 48 hours to return them all to life. Extremely uncaring on foundation matters unless they involve death in some form. He and O5-6 (The Cowboy) occasionally go on bar dives in the middle of the night, when patrons are tired or drunk. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-14"

Full Name: Dresden Oakland Designation: O5-14 Codename: The Overseer Purpose: Oversees the universe the foundation operates in. Age: 44 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: United States of America Accent: Neutral American Medical Information: Half skin is covered in molten rock. Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationship is O5-1 (The Founder). Other Information: May take his job the most seriously out of any of the other council members. Had a wife (Hakaru Nakamuri) and an unborn child who was killed by SCP-682 (The Hard-to-Destroy Reptile). Obviously, he hates SCP-682 (The Hard-to-Destroy Reptile) very much because of this fact. The reason for his skin condition is because the previous overseer of this universe (Tarsa) did it to him before being slain by O5-1 (The Founder). Worked for the foundation before the Anomalous War. What file would you like to access? Processing... Accessing "File O5-0"

Full Name: Eidolon Zephyr Designation: O5-0 Codename: The Administrator Purpose: Contingency in case any of the council step out of line, tiebreaker vote. Age: 46 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him Country of Origin: France Accent: French Medical Information: Nothing of Note Social Relationships: No known romantic partner. Closest platonic relationships are O5-1 (The Founder) and SCP-343 (God). Other Information: Consistently wears SCP-262 (The Coat of Many Arms). Said numerous times by various members of the council to be the best-dressed member. A bit sorry about giving O5-8 (The Lesser) PTSD, but he tries to not dwell on it. Brother of the previous administrator, taking over after she passed. Quite kind as far as people working for the foundation go as he occasionally checks in with both D-Class, scientists, mobile task force operatives, and some anomalies.

[bobamilkk]

Explaining my AU poorly

-Pearl that’s not how we handle grief 😔

-The girlies are fightingggg

-Rupphire is silly

-hi can you tell I like Rupphire yet?

-Amethyst @ Steven: this bitch empty-YEET

-Pearl needs therapy

-Ah. Well. Hi Pink

-SWORD CANE!!! oh and also Bismuth ig

-Me, holding AU Peridot: Can a depressed person make THIS?

-Oh also there’s some Pearlidot somewhere here idk where im just writing oneshots of it rn

-Idk man this is as far as I’ve gotten timeline wise the rubies are still stumping me

[arolock]

Name and dimension: Mortimer "Morty" Smith, Miami-1789

Age: 19

Occupation: partnership in his grandfather's business

Miami-1789 timeline is a but odd. In this dimension Rick met Diane when they both were students, way earlier than other Ricks, which moved all time points, making Beth, Morty and Summer older than other versions of them. Diane in this dimension broke up with Rick when he dived deep into drug dealing, trying to provide for his family. Due to his growing business Rick later moved to Miami.

When Diane suddenly died (disappeared in the blue light in front of Beth, Jerry and kids during family dinner), Beth called her father, with whom she secretly kept in touch, in complete shock. Rick immediately demanded the family to move with him in Miami, which they did. Rick's paranoia, fueled with the unexplainable death of his ex-wife and his family being so close to his business area, hit off the rocket.

Growing up in a household run by a paranoid control freak of a drug lord made Morty cynical and cunning. His morals are grey at best, he operates under his own complicated code of rules. He believes that there are no good people in the business, and has no problem with shooting them down if needed, but, in contrary to many other Mortys, doesn't have suppressed anger issues and isn't prone to a juvenile violence, even if he does have fun in shootouts and fights.

Has no shame whatsoever, easily uses his good looks whenever he sees fit, but his borderline obsession with his appearance almost led him to develop an eating disorder in attempt to keep a 'teenage' body when he hit the growth spur. Luckily his changed habits were picked by Summer in time, and she convinced Morty to go to therapy.

Morty adores fashion and prefers feminine style in his looks. Bought The Pink Glock just for funzies, proceeds to kill the most annoying guys he encounters with it. Goes under 'he/him' pronoun, but mostly just to fuck with people when they misgender him, in his heart doesn't give a flying fuck about the matter. If he really likes a person, he allows them to use whatever pronoun they see fit. He's aro/pan, prefers androgynous looks in his partners. Doesn't date.

Despite working enormous amount of hours with Rick's paperwork, hates hustle culture with a passion, once shot a guy whos shenanigans made him and Rick work overtime. Often clashes with Rick on that, but steadily holds his ground.

Does have his own plans that are connected to Rick's business, but keeps it between himself, Rick and partly Summer. His parents know better than push on the future career subject, they are too scared that he will keep his 'dancing hobby' his primal occupation. Which he sure won't, but he likes to keep this sword hanging above their heads.

Morty's pronouns for family and friends:

Mom and dad use 'he/him' (just out of the habit, they did ask him first about it though when they saw him going for more and more feminine look).

Rick switches them depending on his mood, Morty's attitude and the current situation they found themselves in (some of their associates are more of asses then ciates, and it's easier to play along to a certain point).

Summer, Squanchy and Jessica go with 'she/her' (Summer combines the pronoun with calling Morty her little brother, Jessica simply likes Morty's feminine look and figured that 'she' pronoun suits the look better, and Squanchy just was confused about the whole thing and misgendered Morty at their first meet, but was so adorable that Morty didn't have a heart to break it to him, so he just let it slide).

Birdperson exclusively uses 'they/them' (he sternly believes that it suits Morty the best not because of his looks, but of his nature. Refuses to elaborate further).

[normalenjoyer-png]

SBAU TIMELINE

this is subject to updates as i plan more out, but here's the main events that happen in each section of the au in a bit more detail <3

PLANNING

this is mike and vanessa working on making the glamrocks together.

OPENING

the pizzaplex opens!! mike and vanessa split shifts, with mike as a mechanic at night and vanessa as a security guard during the day. they talk less than before.

BONNIEBREAK: bonnie's mysterious disappearance, almost as if he's been wiped from existence were it not for the 4th floor of the pizzaplex and the concept drawings in mike's sketchbook.

FRIENDFALLOUT: it's revealed to vanessa that mike was the one who's been letting her therapists know about her conversations. they confront mike about it, who reveals that they have copies of her therapy sessions. mike warns her to read the fine print. vanessa storms off and they cut contact for the forseeable future.

GREGORY

gregory finds himself in the pizzaplex after closing. he'd much rather spend his time hanging out with freddy or something, but for some reason, mike refuses to let him out of his sight. therefore, he's stuck walking.

(this is regular security breach gameplay, kind of. mike has access to everything so there's never a need for them to pass through the daycare, for example (i think. i would also like a coherent map of the pizzaplex so i can map their routes but yk how it is (insane))

PRINCESSQUEST-1: after gregory completes princess quest 1, michael learns that vanessa has lost their soul to glitchtrap. as he turns around, he finds vanny right behind him, and he confronts her about it (um. not well. angrily.). vanny, suffering from mad visual and auditory glitchtrap-induced hallucinations and reality warping snaps and stabs mike. gregory tries to rush in and help but freddy stops him, and they watch as mike rips the knife from himself and slashes back at vanny. vanny, shocked and suddenly More Aware, stumbles back. mike slashes again, vanny dodges, and runs out. by the time mike gets to the door, she's gone. the knowledge that william is back and (to his knowledge) controlling his friend coworker, AND that he just failed to kill him sends him into a fit of rage that scares gregory shitless. freddy forcefully asks mike to calm the fuck down, to which he responds Disturbingly Quickly, and they're off again.

PRINCESSQUEST-2: gregory points out that the avatar they're playing as has changed, which catches mike's attention. lo and behold, it's fucking cassidy. cassidy, with a sword now. this changes things.

PRINCESSQUEST-3: they make their way to pq3, beat it, and free vanessa. hooray. Except. vanessa's removed the mask and thrown it aside. freddy goes to comfort her (hesitatingly, she did try to kill gregory earlier) while mike grabs the mask. he puts it on and suddenly, it makes sense how vanessa was disappearing so quickly; there's transparent walls and floors everywhere. and, notably, a way to descend to a very familiar pizzeria. mike goes there without another word and vanessa, pissed the fuck off at this behavior, goes after him. she and freddy and gregory have to take an alternate route down however, because mike's got the Fuck Reality powers now. in the pizzeria, mike finds one final pq game.

END

CASSIDYRECONCILIATION: mike finds the final princess quest game at the bottom. he plays it and gets cassidy to the same plane of existence, where she gives him the sword. she's ready to move on, she wants to see her parents again. but william can't be left unattended, and whatever's left of him still needs to be collected. enter michael. hw2 pq gameplay ensues, but instead of the sister location elevator taking mike and william to a claw machine, it takes them straight to hell lmao god bless 🙏🙏🙏

HELPWANTEDHELL: michael oversees william's torture from now on, but not without cost. he gave up any chance to see elizabeth or evan again, the only thing he'd been working for for decades.

[nonuggetshere]

HELLO AGAIN i just scrolled through your faaf au tag for about 15 minutes straight and i would like to ask.

what the hell is going on there. pls explain

KDHDJDJD YEAH THATS A VALID REACTION

So the basic premise is that Pure Vessel (who is names Flower in this AU) is outed to not be hollow before the sealing

Some key points:

They're like 5 years older than Hornet, who also knew about them being alive and helped them sneak out so they could get a break

They have a secret relationship with two people, Petunia and Lummis, who Flower keeps in the dark about their true nature and the whole vessel project

The secret comes out around their 21st birthday, on the day they were supposed to be sealed. They panic during their knighting ceremony and grab the sword before running off. PK doesn't react well.

They tell their partners everything afterwards, and they react considerably better to this reveal

Their relationship with their parents was...alright but complicated, until the reveal. Afterwards, PK and WL pull away from them. Flower's relationship with them (and generally relationship dynamics exploration) is the main theme of this AU. PK cares about them and wants to keep them close and safe, but it hurts to keep them too close, so he makes them a regular guard at the palace.

They find Ghost and the two of them team up to kick Radiance's ass (she's alive and in Hallownest, just. Mortal now)

This ignoring and being treated like a servant eventually gets too much for Flower and it all comes to a head when they challenge their father to a duel that gets a little too violent and personal. They lose, and as he walks away they yell at him and beg him to just look at them when they're talking to him. He doesn't, which is just more salt in the wound.

Afterwards Flower leaves the palace and cuts contact with their parents for a few years. Obviously at this point the two realise they fucked up and try to apologise but it's way too late.

After some therapy and a few near death experiences that make Flower realise their parents care, they decide to give bending their relationship another go. They take their parents into the Abyss to show them what they went through, and also they sign up for family therapy.

Afterwards it focuses on them rebuilding their relationship and Flower's own little family they've built for themself

There's a bunch of other stuff but that's the most basic bare bones and quick explanation I could give so I'm not here 2+ hours, sorry if it makes little sense it's almost 7 am here LMAO

If you have any specific questions lmk 👍

I am writing a more comprehensible summary and a detailed timeline for the AU but it's gonna be long ways away before that's ready

[blupengu]

Okay, I thought Le Salut emotionally devastated me? Wrong. Weak sauce. I think I inadvertently went in order from happiest to most depressing salvation ending oops…💀

Big fat spoilers for everyone’s salvation ends under the cut!! I’ll add the order I did them in first in case somehow someone finds this and is curious but hasn’t done them all yet

Just wanna say though, thank you Virche Evermore for gifting us with not one, not two, but FIVE(!) long-haired boys, god damn! I would like to shake Yomi’s hand because the art and character designs are so *chef’s kiss,* long-haired anime boys are superior 😂

Also random aside, the first few notes of the salvation theme before the piano comes in gives me such……… indescribable feelings? That underlying dissonance fills me with like such a desperate but forlorn desire to go back to simpler, happier times before the melody becomes more hopeful 😂 (this might be a weird pull, but it gives me Giygas theme prayer for safety vibes from Earthbound 👀)

Adolphe -> Mathis -> Scien -> Yves -> Lucas (yes I saved him for last because I am a Lucas simp I admit it. I saw some comments say it was uhhh not the happiest ending LOL but the heart wants what the heart wants 💀) Boy this is gonna be a LONG post

Adolphe

Love things being solved with guns lmfaooo, guess we’ll go by each scene that the game goes through. Also since I forgot to mention this in my Le Salut rant, I LOVE all of Ankou’s CGs, he is so pretty! The very first one you get stopping Ceres from killing herself? Impeccable. When Adolphe’s pointing a sword at him while his hair’s blowing in the wind? Show-stopping. Him eating the lycoris? Peak *I saw a man so beautiful I started crying* 😩

LUCAS AND NADIA ARE ALIVE! NADIA IS RECOVERING!! LUCAS IS GOING TO THERAPY!!! As mad as I am that ankou died, this is the best timeline oh my gosh the way I (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) when I heard Nadia, the relief I felt for these two blonde bitches y’all…

LMAO JEAN. Oh my evil hot butler being forced to take care of a baby as his punishment is so *chef’s kiss,* scien has wonderful ideas, I desperately want fan art of this 😂 ah… they did say Rosalie was pregnant though when she was killed, didn’t they… oh now it hurts a little more… I hope he, Mathis, and the kid become a loving family 😔

What the FUCK Yves eating the lycoris bulbs coming in clutch though??? And Hugo still being an A+ Yvesexual I approve 😌

Scien is the BIGGEST mvp though in practically every route my god

This was such like a nice, tight little bow to put at the end of what I guess is the true route? But I love it because all our boys are happy (Ripperoni ankou 🫡)

Mathis

Sweet baby boy, too good for this world… Dahut why tf are you blowing shit up in his route this don’t involve you go away 😂 (still love him though…)

Oh… OH. Mathis was ACTUALLY baby…?? o_o (kinda 😬 how Jean got the cells but uh, let’s ignore that shall we?) Rosalie, Camille, Mathis happy family AU when??? Aaaw Jean did care about Mathis deep down TT_TT (like waaaay deep down), and thank you Scien again as always.

Lmao Ankou’s just casually showing up like, “here take these sweets, it’s made of my blood! Haha no of course I’m joking it’s just normal candy” 👀 Not much else to say about this end, it was cute! I’m glad at least one character got a real happy ending 😌

Scien

Bruh I forgot how disrespectful Scien is to everybody lmaooo, guess we back to sandwich dispenser… I’m glad Dahut’s our friend in this route though!

SALOME WHAT THE FUCK! Oh bruh hell nah, she did not just do that I stg… oh bitch she really killed Dahut huh. YOU JUST KILLED YOUR SON!! GIRL, THIS MAKES ME MAD AF 💀 (this also made me realize they share the same bang style 😭)

Not much else to say about this one either, I’m glad it’s happy (other than Dahut… and they’re never gonna find out about that, huh… ಠ_ಠ), and looks like the kiss CG’s improved! 😂

Yves

Bruh Yves needs therapy so bad, he’s such a good boy though 😂 Ngl his full name is kinda sick, Yves Noirge, guardian of the Lycoris, named after the flowers of misfortune? That goes hard af

Please… please give her the Magic science juice first so you don’t die before you get to her… no? Aight then I guess the power of love stopped you from dropping dead LOL (this kiss CG was also pretty nice! Hooray the artist has improved 😂)

Cannot believe they put in the effort to change Scien’s sprite so he’s missing an arm though lmao, and Ankou just kinda showing up to solve problems is always great

Y’all Yves and Ceres are so mentally I’ll for each other… and two kiss CGs!! They really saved the nice ones for the end huh 😂 Good for Yves! It’s not a super happy ending, but at the very least things are hopeful, and that’s all I can really ask for in this game…

Lucas

I am. Upset. I miss when all we had to worry about was the cage 😂

*internal screaming* Boy oh boy this one absolutely wrecked my shit. When I looked at the flow chart and realized it would split off AFTER Nadia and the killing spree… 😬 like bitch I don’t wanna go through this again 💀 okay okay though, this one’s definitely gonna be long (sorry in advance), I guess I’ll just tackle the scenes chronologically:

Seeing Dahut hiding from Lucas really just made me shout “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!” at my TV now knowing what we know lmao, but also… why was he unsure about Capucine’s involvement…? Like he knew Capucine was Ortie and he must’ve known that Capucine was running the hospital Nadia was in… also knew he was abusing Lucas and doing fucked up human experimentation, Dahut so why are you surprised??? I would’ve pulled Nadia out if there the second I became friends with her, a huge chunk of this is your fault 😭

But bruh… this is not a salvation end… it’s a despair end with more CGs and trying-to-talk-with-a-slit-throat-while-coughing-up-blood ASMR wtf 💀

(Poor Lucas saying “I can’t do this anymore” was so relatable lmao sweetie the game is doing you so dirty I am so sorry, like oh my god make the pain stop… what do you mean it’s only gonna get worse?!)

I am glad though that even though we stabbed our boy in the throat we are still going after Capucine’s ass together! Seeing him scared was so satisfying aah, GET FUCKED CAPUCINE HELL YEAH YOU BETTER BE AFRAID BITCH!! Even with 0 pints of blood, Lucas is still kicking down doors and kicking ass, what a king 👑 the man must be leaking everywhere (like sir we cut an artery, there must be a fountain coming out of you), love the “man too angry to die” vibes 😌

Bruh the siblings face to face is so fucked. Was not expecting Dahut to have already been there and playing dead though! Even though you’re kinda the reason Lucas and Nadia’s lives got so fucked, I’m glad you helped in the end 😌 get fucked (again) Capucine!! I’m very glad Nadia was the one to claw the shit out of that garbage man 🔥💯

Aha, the touching sibling reunion is SO super duper fucked 😭 they did not have to describe how Nadia can feel the other body parts and how much it hurts… like Jesus fucking Christ honey I am so sorry you’re in this game, this is too much suffering for such a sweet character 😩

God I am so absolutely devastated, his dying CG was pretty at least… ಥ_ಥ this ain’t fair though y’all… what is this injustice for Lucas?? Like this is some Shakespearean tragedy bullshit… Whoever decided his gravestone CG needed THREE variations is sadistic lmao 😭

My crops are dying, my skin is dry, everything is pain… I guess all we can really do is take some solace in the fact that he gets a happy ending with Nadia in Le Salut…

I don’t think the salvation theme music ever even played???? I also realized this motherfucker’s been wearing high heels the whole time while on his murderous rampage??? WORK BITCH damn 💅

Phew this rant for just Lucas probably could’ve been its own post honestly lmao but oh well, the man changed my brain chemistry… guess it’s time to pray for the FD to be localized. Please our lord and savior Scien, let it be soon, Lucas deserves so much better than what he got 😭

Well guess that’s it for my rambling posts about virche evermore!! This game was a wild ride from start to finish and I loved it, time to make shitty memes to cure my brain rot (sorry if this post was incomprehensible LOL)

[animetrash101blep]

Repairing the cracks

So I have an idea either I'll write a fan fic and draw bits of it or I'll draw all of it or just a fan fic but here is the idea, Prismo Zaps Fionna, cake and Simon to his cube. He tells them they made a mess of the timeline and the higher up are demanding they fix the other timelines so he sends them off to fix the things they broke. So for example putting baby Fin back and other things I'd make up. I've written a bit down already Here's a few scenes I definitely want to draw. Oh it would be Simon x Fionna too.

(The three of them after processing they had been pulled out of their world to Prismos cube again turned to him and scarb confused.)

Prismo: I'm sure you're wondering why I bought you here..

Cake: duuuuh I was enjoying a cat nap

Simon: and I was in therapy

Fionna: and I was getting ready for a date

Simon: what ?

Fionna: what ?

(Much later in winter kings world)

Simon: so you have a date ?

Fionna: ah yeaaa kinda...so therapy? How's that going ?

Simon: oh uh...it's going hah...so what's his name ?

Fionna: uh her name is Simone...

Simon: Simone?...wait it's not-

Fionna: anyway! It wasn't really a date, cake kinda jumped into her ice cream cart before when she was a cat and disappeared into your world and I stuck my head in, I offered to get coffee to make up for it.

Simon:...Fionna...*smirks knowingly*

(Same universe trying to prevent the death of winter king because he's supposed to be defeated by that world's Finn)

Future Fionna: *grabs past Fionna as shes about to grab the duplicated crown*

Past Fionna: AHH! *Goes to take out her sword but she stops when she sees herself* huh?...I thought I was supposed to be the only Fionna..." *Sounds disappointed.*

Future fi: don't worry we are I'm just from the future...*sigh* listen whatever you do when you save Simon and the Winter king don't touch his crown, just grab Cake and Simon and get out of there.

Past fi: what? But what about him showing Simon-

Future fi: there is no way to avoid the curse...just take this crown get your Simon and cake and get out, got it ?

Past fi:...got it..

Future fi: *let's get go*...oh and he's not what he seems to be, I'm doing you a favour by telling you this but don't kiss him.

Past fi: *blushes* we kissed him?..

Future fi: don't do it !

Past fi: why not ?? You did !

Future fi: and he turned to dust so just don't do it !!

Past fi: what ?

Future fi: I hate being here longer than I need to be *pushes the dupe crown to her past self chest* save Simon and get out of here...

[lloydofhyrule64]

Drawing parallels between Ninjago/BOTW characters simply because they’re my two favorite fandoms PT 1

Ninja/Champions

Lloyd/Zelda: They both have a sacred power passed down through their lineage, but have a tendency to doubt their own abilities. They were both kind of cheated out of their childhood, Lloyd due to the aging tea in season two, Zelda due to her sacred duties. And finally, say it with me people, #DADDYISSUES!

Zane/Mipha: They’re both the calmer, quieter type, and they’re both absolutely precious. I know Zane is ice powers and Mipha is water, but I feel like it’s close enough. Also they both live longer lives, with the zoras’ naturally longer lifespans and Zane being a nindroid

Kai/Revali: They’re both the hothead of the group, initially believing they should be the green ninja/champion in charge. They both give me bi vibes, and even though fire is different from air, fire does create updrafts so once again, close enough. (look don’t try to dissect my reasoning, ok? Just let me have this.) While they’re both still plenty cocky, they do eventually learn a little humility (if we’re talking AOC timeline for Revali) and that cockiness is what fans love about them.

Cole/Daruk: Ok, these two actually do have a lot of similarities. They both have earthy powers while being down to earth, they both love eating, and they’re both the heavyweight of the group. Apart from that, they both have a very calm, laid back demeanor outside of battle.

Jay/Urbosa: Ok I’ll admit, I initially struggled with finding connections between these two outside of being redheads with lightning powers. But then I realized that they’re both basically the therapy dogs of their group. They’re the first to lighten the mood with a joke or laugh at a funny situation, while also being one of the first ones to ask you if everything is alright.

Nya/Link: They both don’t have powers to start, but make up for it by being exceptional at something else. (Nya with her samurai mech and tech skills, Link with his sword fighting.) They also both have something about them that’s similar but separate from Lloyd/Zelda’s sacred powers. (Nya’s water powers being tied to Wojira, Link having the essence of the hero) Finally, both of them have a bonding moment with Lloyd/Zelda when the other four disappear. (Season 9 for Lloyd and Nya, the champions’ death for Zelda and Link.)

It’s about 10:30 when I’m finishing this so if any of this only makes sense to me and I’m just crazy, drawing connections where there are none, please let me know.