#the LEAST you can do is follow through and show their death mattering to people longer than 10 seconds after the fact

[thenegoteator]

👀 Happy New Year!

happy new year!!!

this was while the Ahsoka show was airing and I was feeling salty about how little Kanan came up initially. it's the "my death is unreasonably downplayed/ignored in recent star wars media" support group. but then we did get the barest of crumbs eventually so I didn't feel it was worth following through

[send me a 👀 in exchange for unposted art from 2023]

[witchygagirlwrites]

That Damn Chain

Jay Halstead x Reader

In which you blurt out things in the heat of the moment and reveal some things about yourself and feelings you'd buried for one of your partners

NSFW happenings

How was it that you and Jay had yet again drawn the short straw to go undercover? You loved your partner but you were so damn tired of playing arm candy. The last three undercover ops you'd been dolled out and while normally you would've loved the occasion pampering the fact remained you hated not being able to have a weapon of any sorts on you. That left not only yourself unguarded but Jay's back as well should something go south.

You knew without a shadow of a doubt he’d protect you with his life, same as you him but if something happened where you walked away and he didn’t because he was protecting you? You weren’t sure of a scenario that would end well. No matter how hard you tried to deny it to yourself your partner had won your heart quite a while ago. You’d never admit it under threat of torture. Too much bad waters for him when it came to partners and too much to lose for you when he undoubtedly didn’t feel the same.

“Kim!” you flinched when she poked your eye with the eyeliner and she grimaced “I’m sorry honey!” Voight had lent you his office to get ready considering it had an actual locking door but it also didn’t have a mirror so you had to rely on her help with makeup and hair. You let a small smile slip onto your face “Didn’t hurt as bad as Adam getting the wire tangled in my hair the last time” she cracked a grin at the memory of you chasing him through the tech room and threatening to wax his beard off.

You and Jay were due at the club around ten to meet with Alex Henderson. A tycoon's son with too much money and not enough morals. He’d gotten bored partying it up with small-time drugs and hookers and moved onto trafficking heroin, fentanyl and as of late people. You just needed to get him on tape making a sale and you’d have him for it all. Jay was set up through a C.I, to meet with Alex. Poe was a former friend of Alex’s and when he’d gotten rolled up for suspicion in his girlfriend’s death when she overdosed he’d cut a deal to avoid the death sentence.

“There, you’re ready” she replied after a moment and you smiled. Your breasts felt like they were directly under your chin with how high the combination of a push up bra and corseted top accented them. The skirt you wore barely skimmed your thighs and as for the boots, you’d arrested actual hookers wearing more. “Do I at least get a jacket?” you groaned and she held up the long coat. At least it looked warm “It’s lined” she added as if she was reading your face so you smiled “You’re an angel Kim”

About that time there was a knock on the door followed by Voight asking if you were ready. You cut your eyes at Kim and took a deep breath before walking out. Hailey let out a low whistle “Damn Y/N” you winked at her “From you? I’ll take the catcall”

Adam looked at Kim with wide eyes “Those are a bit…much”  Kevin and Jay walked around the corner and both stopped dead in their tracks. “Jesus” Jay muttered under his breath and Kevin grinned before slapping his shoulder “C’mon Jay. That’s your partner man. Am I the only professional around here?” 

You were too busy practically drooling over what Jay was wearing. He was wearing a suit, tailored to hug his shoulders and the gold chain Will had given him for his last birthday peeking out the collar. After the last time he got shot he swore it was a good luck charm and wore it however often he could. That damn chain was a hazard to your health. The thoughts it caused to pop into your head were never rated to be having about a coworker. 

You plastered a smile on “Kim wired me up. If everyone is through admiring my cleavage can we please get this show on the road?” Voight chuckled “You heard the woman, lets get it done”

You walked into the club next to Jay. He had one arm tucked around your waist, fingers rubbing small circles onto your hip. You noticed he did that anytime you were supposed to be his girl undercover and it made you wonder if that was something he actually did or if it was just a thing to keep him in the mindset of the moment.

You covered his hand with yours and squeezed gently. “You ok Johnny?" you cut your eyes up at him and he smiled “Yeah baby, I’m good” your heart flipped anytime he had to call you baby or sweetheart or darling on these things. You knew they didn’t mean anything more than your false name at the moment.

—---------

Alex stood outside the V.I.P. section with two thick necked guards “Mr Reynolds!” Jay laughed “Man, call me Johnny. Only my old man goes by Mr Reynolds” the two shook then Alex looked at you “And the lovely Gwen is with you I see” Jay pulled you into his side “Always”

Alex motioned behind him “Let’s grab a drink and talk”. You felt Jay’s hand slip into yours as the two of you followed him and the guards. 

When you got to a booth Alex purposely sat where you’d have no choice but to sit next to him. Jay met your eyes before reaching a hand out, you took it and he pulled you down into his lap “Always been your favorite seat, right baby?” you smiled “Always Johnny" he looked over at Alex “Now, lets talk”

The teams’ voices through the com in your ear was your only grounding factor against the fire raging in your core every time Jay slightly shifted his leg. Did he fucking realize what he was doing?  His hand slipped down to gently squeeze your ass all the while never missing a beat at backing Alex into the corner all of you needed him in. You bit down hard enough on your bottom lip that you tasted blood to be able to focus.

You knew the moment the sale was made the unit would come in along with the uniforms waiting around the block to not only clear the club of civilians but to make sure none of Alex’s business partners showed up. “So what are we thinking here? Six kilos and five girls?” Alex said and you heard Voight give the order to surround the club.

—------------

Jay cut his eyes at you as he pulled you down next to him, effectively shielding your body with his. “Yeah” “That's a hefty price you sure you got it?” Alex pushed and Jay stood up, pulling you with him “Look man if you don’t want the money just say so”  “I didn’t say that. I’m just asking if you’ve got that funds for that much heroin and that many girls. It ain't cheap to bring either product in and I don’t want to lose my invested time and money and from the looks of it you put enough money into Gwen here, I mean if you wanna offer a trade” 

Alex took a step towards you and Jay stepped squarely in front of you “If you want to draw another breath you wont even finish that thought” “Point taken” Alex chuckled then looked at his guards “I gotta make some calls. Treat them well”

—-----------

When Alex left Jay eyed the guards then whispered “Go with it” he grabbed your hand and winked at the guard “We’ll be back fellas” the guards eyed the two of you so he slipped his hand down to grab your ass again and you gasped lightly then giggled to cover it up. The guards chuckled “Bathroom is down the hall” 

“What was that?” you asked and he whispered “I think we’re made. He may not be thinking cops but he knows something is up” “Do we need to come in?” Voight asked over the coms about the time the two of you made it to the bathroom. You’d just closed the door when the first bullets hit just above your head before Jay tackled you to the ground, covering your body with his.

“CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT” you heard ringing out from around the club. Jay pulled his gun from his lower back and slowly crouched over you, his chain slipping free of his shirt to dangle in front of your face as he asked “Are you ok?” you weren’t sure what the hell came over you but when you looked up into those blue eyes after such a burst of adrenaline with that damn chain dangling you blurted out “I’ve had a few dreams in this position but they never started with us getting shot at”

His eyes widened before a grin slipped onto his face “Either you’re fine or delirious. We’ll figure that out later” he pulled your backup from where he’d carried it in on his left ankle and pressed it into your hand. At your questioning look he shrugged “You hate not having a weapon nearby” then pulled you to your feet so you could both go out and meet your unit.

 For the next few days you barely looked Jay in the eye, hoping like hell he had forgotten the dream comment. Maybe he’d chalk it up to weird shit people said when adrenaline hit?

You should’ve known better when Friday night found you at Mollys. You were talking to Ethan and April at the bar while Stella made your drink. The week had been a little crazy so you were happy to relax. 

You knew the presence anywhere the moment a hand slipped around your waist “Hey partner” you cut your eyes up “Hey Halstead” he nodded to April and Ethan before passing a twenty over your head to Stella to pay for your drink and his own beer. He leaned down close enough, his breath caused a shiver to run through you when he whispered “Can we talk?”

You nodded, thanking Stella for your drink and telling April you’d see her later. Jay kept his hand at your lower back as the two of you walked over to a booth in the far corner. You slid in and cut your eyes up at him “Is this you making fun of me? Because if so I swear..” he grinned “No, this is me asking about those dreams”

You raised an eyebrow and he shrugged “What was I doing?” you leaned across the table to flick that damn chain out of his shirt before saying “Well that thing was dangling in my face for an entirely different reason besides you tackling me to keep me from getting shot” he damn near choked on his beer at that.

You laughed “Jay, chill. It’s no big deal. People have weird sex dreams. Doesn’t mean anything” his eyes flicked up to yours “So you don’t have any feelings for me? Because it’s been hard as hell acting like I don’t have feelings for you” “What?” you asked, sitting your drink down on the table.

He grinned and leaned over to grab your hand “I’ve wanted you for so damn long but because of my past relationship with a partner..” you shrugged “Just because you and her didn’t work out doesn’t mean anything” he stared at you for a moment before saying “I want you so damn much but I don’t want to rush things” you smiled slightly “Well in our job we could get killed tomorrow?” 

He shook his head but that smile he gave you was nothing short of gorgeous “Are you trying to get me in bed?” you took a sip of her drink then nodded “Yeah, I am” he nodded then took a swig of his beer before standing up “Just making sure” and grabbed your hand.

“You’re sure about this?” Jay asked as the two of you stumbled into his apartment, barely breaking away from each other long enough to make it inside the door and get it closed behind you before he had you pushed back against it as his mouth worked the sensitive skin of your neck.

You gasped when he hit a particular spot, hands digging into the material of his shirt “I’m sure. Take your damn shirt off Jay” he pulled away from you and grinned “You’re always so bossy” before slipping his shirt over his head and tossing it. You pushed him back from you a little and he looked concerned until you smiled and ran your hands over his chest “Fuck Halstead” you couldn’t help but to be a little dumbfounded at having him in front of you like this. He grinned “I’m yours” and pulled you back into his arms, dropping another kiss to your lips before tugging you towards his bedroom. “I think you said something about wanting to be in a position with my chain dangling in your face?” you fucking whimpered in response and he chuckled “Oh I’m gonna have fun with you baby. You make such sweet sounds to be so mean to me at work”

He walked backwards into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you down into his lap. You straddled him and just the way he looked up at you could’ve made you come apart. His hands went to the hem of your shirt “Can I take this off?” you pulled it off yourself and tossed it across the room. He smiled “Look at you. Looks even better than that damn top was showing” his mouth lowered to your clothed chest, kissing across the soft mounds of flesh “What’s better is only I get to see you like this”

He reached behind you and slipped your bra off with ease before his hands came up to cup your breasts. “Damn” you moaned lightly at just how gentle he was being, like he was afraid you’d break.  One hand left your breast to slip around your throat, not applying pressure just controlling your attention. “If we do this baby, know it means I’m yours and you’re mine. I don’t share well” 

You nodded and he shook his head “Words baby, I need words” “I’m yours Jay” you spoke and he leaned forward, just shy of kissing you before saying “Damn right you are” he turned, flipping the two of you so your back was on the bed and he was on top of you. Your eyes flicked down to his chain and he chuckled “Does that turn you on?” you nodded and he grinned “It’s turned you on the whole time I’ve had it, hasn’t it?”

“It has” you admitted and he grinned before catching your lips in a bruising kiss. He moved from your lips, across your jaw then down your neck. The stark comparison of the warmth of his lips with the cool metal of the chain had you squirming under him. One of his hands went to your hips, pinning them.

He kissed across your chest, taking his time to mark both breasts “So everyone knows they’re his” when he got to your jeans he looked up at you and winked before slipping them off your hips. He started at your left ankle, kissing up and stopping just shy of where you needed him before giving the right leg the same treatment.

Just when you were sure you’d die from teasing he licked one long stripe through your folds and when your hips bucked up and fingers went to his hair he kissed your inner thigh and said “That’s my girl” before diving in.

—------------------

You’d had men go down on you before but Jay was an entirely different story. The way his tongue worked at your clit, fingers finding their way inside of you to move in tandem as he worked you over that edge back to back until you were pushing at his shoulders begging him “Please Jay! It’s too much”

When he pulled back to look at you he smiled before kissing your trembling thighs “How ya feeling?” you curled a finger at him and his smile turned into a full blown smirk as he kissed his way up your body before finally making it to your mouth, letting you taste yourself on him.

You could feel his hard cock pressing on your thigh so you spread your legs a little further to give him the invitation. He pressed his forehead against yours as he moved one hand to line himself up with your opening before slowly slinking in. When he was finally bottomed out you both let out a moan. 

—------------------

He held himself up once he was sure you were ready and gave a tentative thrust.  When your response was to grip his shoulders he buried his face into your neck for just a breath before it was like a thought occurred to him. He pulled back and grabbed your hands then pulled them up over your head,holding them in place as his eyes met yours “I wanna see you fall apart” he grunted and you felt yourself clench around him. 

His eyes fluttered at the feeling “Just like that then huh baby?” he sat a rough pace that meant with each roll of his hips you could feel every ridge and vein of his cock as he pounded into you.  You were itching to touch him but he still held your hands, that damn chain in your face as he worked you closer and closer to that edge.

When his fingers found your clit and he started to rub tight circles onto it you felt that pressure that had been building inside of you burst and you came with a loud moan of his name. The feeling of your orgasm pushed him over the edge as well, burying himself inside of you with one final thrust.

He finally released your hands as he buried his face in the bend of your neck, both of you working to get your breathing back to normal. Your hands went to his shoulders, smoothing down the muscles as your lips kissed any skin you could reach. 

He laughed lightly and leaned up to press a kiss to your lips “A damn chain got us to admit how we felt” you shrugged and tapped it “I happen to like that damn chain” he looked down to where he was still buried hip deep in you “Yeah, I like it pretty good myself”

[undercover-smutlover]

Captain John Price...🏷️

main masterlist📌

*·˚Don’t forget to reblog, follow, like, and comment on the authors’ or artists’ pages. Show them some love!

*·˚Broken link or @? Pop a note in the comments or my ask box.

Works by @miniwheat77

Sweet: Price is harsh on y/n until a mission goes sideways

Sensitive: The only person reader can confide in is her captain

Maneater + Gaz: Reader is a mechanic on base who takes a break with the boys

Give ’em hell Pt.1: Reader and Price are exposed to a weird chemical

Give ’em hell Pt.2: Repercussions of the weird chemical

Red Lipstick: Reader and Price keep one another company

Works by @captainfern

Lake Of Fire: Price isn’t happy about working with another team

Heart-Shaped Box Pt.1: You help Price feel better

Serve the Servants P.2 + Ghost: The aftermath involving Ghost

Breed: You and Price meet up off base

Marigold Pt.1: Price asks you to meet him upstairs

Marigold Pt.2: Crying becaouse you missed him

Unhappily-Married!Price x Nanny!Reader Pt.1 and Pt.2

Works by @halcyone-of-the-sea

Songs That Sound Like Sea-Foam: Fisherman Price meets an unexpected person

Our Remains: You are hiding something big from John

Lions and Ibexes: Your voice cuts through and John’s shoulders sag under a non-existent weight.

See No Evil Pt.1 and Origami Boats Pt.2: But you’d been hurt because he had been too late. Nearly bled out. 

I’ll Take the Night Shift: It doesn’t matter what I feel…Where is my John?

Works by @xyziiix

ARDOUR: He could already hear the pleading edge in your voice

Three Is A Crowd: Well your Captain always liked proving you wrong

Works by @the-californicationist

He Opens the Mail and Part 2: It was hard to concentrate when he was nearby.

Wonderland: He chuckled, and you enjoyed seeing his eyes shine with his laughter

Works by @charliemwrites

(Re)organized Crime: In general, you’re like a breath of fresh air. A smiley little charm of colour and delicacy in his world

Squeak 'Em If You Got 'Em

Works by @fireya-x

Champagne Dreams

When Lilacs Bloom

The Wolf and The Nightingale

Price Eating You Out by @catsnkooks: Too blissed out to notice a guest

Civillian Reader Is Hurt by @lvlyghost: She believed he would save her. And that was enough

Jealous by @stormiwaves: “I like it when you’re jealous”

Angel of Small Death Pt.1 by @whynot-tryit: Price hires a team medic

Not Meant to Be Here, But Glad You Are by @paranoid-borderline-insane: You need to remember all the tips John gave you to survive

Breaking and Entering Pt.1 and Reprieve Pt.2 by @sprout-fics: No place safer in the world than with him

Doll by @blingblong55: It started as innocent stares

No Hero, Just Me by @firsttimewriter92: Price rescues reader from an abduction

Duty Over Heart by @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world: Your lives were forever changed afterwards

Million Dollar Man by @qilinxingg: John gave a satisfied smile as his arms tightened around your small body

Price’s Young Housewife by @moongreenlight: Weekly manicures and pedicures that he’s put his card on file for

My Girls by @bearieio: happy just being able to share moments with your 3 favorite people

Hell on Earth by @ghostlywhiskey: His demeanor and lack of response to your attitude caught you off guard

Designer Dress by @halfmoth-halfman: You can’t think of a better place to start your new life

I Think I Might’ve Inhaled You by @agentmarvel: It eats at him daily, knowing his own indecisiveness is the root of anguish for both of you

Nobody Does It Like You Do by @bunnyreaper: In his embrace, firm and reassuring, you might actually believe him

Spread Your Wings by @crashandlivewrites: “Besides, I find my scene partner enjoys it more when there’s a lot more sensual physical contact involved.”

A Warm Heart by @flowermiist: That clicks in John’s head, it really was you and he was almost amused to say the least.

Soulmate AU Part 1 and Part 2 by @shotmrmiller: your vision distorts with the tears that threaten to spill and bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

To The Flame Pt. 1, Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.4, Pt.5, Pt.6, Pt.7, Pt.8, Moving Day, Afternoon Coffee, Seeing Shadows, A Drink From Her Cup: by @lunarvicar

Dangerous Pursuit by @gloomwitchwrites: The two of you will either close the distance or end this entanglement in blood.

The Prowl by @cordeliawhohung

Elephant in the Room Pt.1, Pt.2 by @penelopepine

Mafia!Price Pt.1, Pt.2 by @lovemebutleavemewild

Blowing off Steam by @yeyinde

New Pen Pal by @sherriesherbet

Call me Captain, Captain by @highlandhour

Price’s Assistant Pt.1, Pt.2, Pt.3 by @angel-eyes-and-devil-hearts

The Favourite by @inkbybambi

Don’t Poke The Bear by @sirenmoth

Didn’t Have Time by @highlandhour

She’s With Me by @evermoreal

Business Call by @evilgwrl

Captain's Good Girl by @uhohdad

John Price and The Girl Next Door by @eowynstwin

Price x New Assistant by @sunni-stuff

“I’m Tired.” by @tojisun

Humor Me (Even When it’s Ruining Me) by @pricegouge

Surprise Pt.1 and Pt.2 by @yourloverslost

Soccer Coach John by @i-love-you-just-the-same

Dollhouse by @lay-z

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[thefirstknife]

Literally every time I tune in for a story update and think "there's no way I'll be taking emotional damage this week" and then I do.

First I really like the added context about what an Echo is, from Ikora:

Genocide. Thousands of civilisations across the universe, all visited by the Black Fleet. All lost to the violence of the final shape. That's where this Echo comes from. At least, that's our theory. Reports from the Pale Heart, readings on the Valence emanating from the Traveler... Everything we faced when we stared down the Witness and broke its fleet. At first, we didn't know what to call them. But Echoes seemed apt. Memories from the victims of the Pyramids, held by the Darkness... then coalesced by the Light into artifacts as sharp and fatal as their pain. If Darkness is memory, and Light is form... What else could they be? But... there's still so much we don't know. Is this the only one? What forgotten people gave form to this Echo? What was their final cry at their end? For control? A means to turn back their oppressors? My Hidden will keep searching for whatever answers the Witness' death can give us... hopefully they number more than the questions it left behind. But we need to stop the Conductor and secure the Echo. Guardian, descend into Nessus. Massive amounts of radiolaria has been diverted beneath the planet's crust. We need to find out what the Vex are building there.

I think it's fair to assume that the memory of the Qugu is what formed this Echo then. That's fascinating also because of what other species we might learn about in the next two episodes.

Psion mention:

Show us the Psions. What are they doing. Don't throw these hints at me, at the same time with Otzot and OXA hints.

And then the emotional damage??? First Saint on the holoprojector:

Guardian. I hear that you are hard at work on Nessus, following the Echo and the Conductor. I know you do this in part for me, but... I do not know if I am worth the trouble. I was pulled through Nessus like a toy on a string. The Conductor's words still echo in my mind, "A copy of a copy of a copy." Osiris pushed through time to find his Saint-14. [sighs] He said he was careful, but... he reached blindly, and pulled out... only me. And no... I live a life tat does not belong to me. I am something left over from a broken timeline... a remainder. The Conductor whispered I should be thrown away... A solution as simple as, correcting an error. And maybe... that would- Ah! I-I do not know what to think anymore.

Saint. "Not worth the trouble"? Saint, I personally walked through the corridors of time to get you out. I had to see your dead body with my own two eyes. I need to tell him this. He has to know. Oh my god.

But also. Osiris did not reach blindly. I am jumping off a cliff! He spent so much time and effort trying to find the right one in the right moment. That was the whole point. But Saint doesn't know this because Osiris never told him exactly what he did. If they don't mention everything we've done in Dawn, I am just going to walk into traffic. This Saint knows that we saved him. That we gave him the shotgun. We saw him in several different moments of his life and he carried the shotgun through: this is important because he died with it originally. So we know it's the right one. That's the only reason the Sundial worked out even; because we're tied to Saint via a paradox.

And then the radio. WHAT is happening.

Osiris: You're only doing this to hurt yourself, and I will not be a part of it. Saint-14: Osiris. Answer the question. I need to know. Osiris: It doesn't matter! Not like this. Saint-14: It matters to me. Please. How did I first tell you that I loved you? Osiris: Saint... [sighs] You had asked me for something, some tactical report. I gave it to you, and you thanked me, and-and you said that you loved me. You said it as if you had, already said it a thousand times before. I was not ready to say it in return, but... it was not long until I was. Saint-14: That is not... I do not remember it this way. That is not what happened in my... my simulation. We were together in the Tower, overlooking the City. Talking about... something small. And I said what I felt in that moment. And my Osiris did not hesitate to say the same. Osiris: "Your Osiris?" Saint, you love me. It doesn't matter how or-or where that began. Not in such fine detail. Saint?

I reiterate. What is happening. We know that the story Osiris told is true because we got it as a lore tab. And we also know that we saved the right Saint. We didn't pick one randomly as he thinks, Osiris and the YW went to great lengths to do this. So what's going on. Did the Conductor mess him up? Saint has not, until now, exhibited any issues with memory and has never had different memories from Osiris or anyone else. What did she do to him when he was yoked? Did she use the power over Vex to mess with his memories? Implant memories the Vex might have in the network about him from other timelines? I'm losing it.

Speaking of the Conductor, we got a firm confirmation it's Maya in the lore tab from Polyphony. And it's MSund12 so that also tells us which Maya; one of the copies from the Vex Network. It also details stuff about her shock upon learning about the Collapse and all that was lost and how humanity never truly recovered. She thinks she can... "help" by using the Vex and simulations. This also links to the mysterious lore tabs on the exotic items from the season pass.

Anyway, I'm perishing.

[pitchprowler27]

Hearts On The Sidelines Part 3

Part three is here and present. Smut for sure in the later parts. You already know Top Leah.

Its been a week since Ellie last saw Leah at her game. Its something that Ellie can’t stop thinking about, again. If you were to ask her she certainly has not taken the upmost care of the jersey. Bobby thinks she’s being a bit ridiculous but if feeding into this meant Ellie has a chance of getting laid then who is he to stop her. The two have had some pretty shitty shifts after that night. It seemed like no matter what they did they just couldn’t save anyone. Death is not something that the two are unfamiliar with but its something they haven’t dealt with as much. Ellie has held dying soldiers hands in the heat of battle. She’s patched up many of men in a storm of a fire fight but the sting of losing someone at home hurt more then she was able to describe. She was known for stitching people up its how she got her nickname “Stitch” from the people in her platoon. Bobby was known for patching other up hence the name “Patch”, together the two were Stitch and Patch. They helped many people when they were Army medics and they would never forget them. However, being away from that scene has made the weight in Ellie’s heart lighter. Something she is ashamed about. She shouldn’t feel thankful for being away from the people she saved but being around them always made her think of the ones she couldn’t. Ellie does her best to forget about the ones she couldn’t save. 

That’s how her and Bobby ended up here at a club dancing and drinking. The two needed to blow off some steam after the week from hell they had. Ellie is in black skinny jeans cuffed at the ankle, some white air force ones and a white crop top. She has her hair in a half up half bun look with lose waves. Bobby is in a very similar fit to Ellie that showed off how good his arms looked. Blue jeans and a black shirt that hugged his arms. He was on the prowl to get some dick tonight and Ellie was here to support that. She on the other hand just wanted to do as many Green Tea shots as she could and dance the night away. 

So there Ellie was in the middle of the dance floor letting the liquor take her anxiety away. She felt just enough buzzed that she still felt in control. Ellie could see Bobby in the corner of the bar making out with some lucky man and she knew that she’d be going home without her friend. It didn’t matter to her she knew he would be safe. Just as she was about to turn and get another drink something - well someone caught her eye. Leah Fucking Williamson. Of course she was wearing her signature smirk while not discreetly looking Ellie up and down. To her credit Ellie did her best to be discrete but Leah looked damn good, especially with her abs peaking out from her crop top. 

“Well well well pretty girl what are the odds seeing you here tonight?” 

Ellie stared at her long and hard to the point Leah thought maybe she didn’t hear her over the music and was leaning closer to her to repeat herself. “Are you following me?” Ellie blurts out. 

Of course Leah laughs at her because Ellie always seems to have a knack for making her laugh when she isn’t trying to. 

“I should be asking you that pretty girl, you’re everywhere I turn” 

Ellie continued to stare at her and then finally, in one alcohol induced brave moment blurts out “Well if you’re going to continue to follow me you could at least buy me a shot and dance with me” 

Leah looked impressed at the smaller girl in front of her “Feeling brave tonight? I think I can buy a pretty girl a shot and dance with her” Leah did just that. She lead Ellie back to the bar with a hand on the small of her back. Ellie could feel how close Leah was, could feel her breath on her and it made her knees weak. She is so thankful that the alcohol coursing through her is protecting her from her awkwardness. While they are waiting for a shot Leah tries to strike up conversation with the girl. Her front is pressed into Ellie’s back trapping her in between the bar and Leah. “What dragged you out here tonight?” When she asked Ellie could feel her breath on her face making her shiver a bit. 

“My weak has been a shit sandwich. What brings Arsenal football superstar out tonight?” Ellie felt proud of herself for not being a stuttering fool in front of the girl. If only Bobby could see her smooth moves now. 

“You think I’m a superstar eh? I didn’t know you were such a fan Ellie or else I would’ve signed the jersey I gave you” Ellie didn’t have to turn around to know that Leah was smirking at her. Ellie wonders where she gets this endless cockiness and confidence from. Wonders if she has any to spare her. “Whats a soup sandwich?”

Ellie actually laughs because she’s never had anyone ask her that before. Everyone in the army knew a soup sandwich was code for a cluster fuck. Ellie leans back into the girl behind her “Its like if soup was a sandwich it would be messy. Its code for cluster fuck. My week as been one big old cluster fuck”. 

Before the blonde could answer her the bartender presented them their Green Tea shots much to Ellie’s delight. They quickly downed them and Leah looked at Ellie the whole time with a smirk on her face watching the smaller girl enjoy herself. Even though they only encountered each other a few times it was nice to see her so carefree. Ellie grabbed the blondes hand and dragged her to the dance floor “You promised you’d dance with me!” 

Leah just laughs at the girls antics and lets her take the lead. She doesn’t want to push too far especially if the girl had been drinking. Leah may come off a little cocky and a playboy vibe but she was a gentle woman first and foremost. Ellie is swaying her hips to the music her back to Leah’s front just like it was at the bar. 

“Are you having fun pretty girl?” She heard Leah ask close to her ear. Ellie was having fun and she was glad she ran into her. She was especially bad she had liquid courage on her side. She turned around and wrapped her arms around Leah’s neck much to her surprise. 

“I’m really glad I got to see you tonight.” 

“Really? What is that?” Leah asked close to her yet again so she could hear her over the sound of the club. 

“You’re making my soup sandwich less soupy” Ellie mumbles out. She cringes a bit at what she said but feels at ease when she sees Leah laughing at her. They stare at each other no one speaking. You could feel the tension between them, it was palpable, hot. They were still swaying to music but only focused on one another. They slowly lean in closer to each other, “I really want you to kiss me right now” Ellie admits softly, almost too soft. 

“Who am I to deny a pretty girl?” Leah leans down to connect their lips when Ellie hears a familiar voice she wasn’t expecting to hear tonight. One that made her blood run cold. 

“Stitch! Stitch is that you?” Ellie can feel her whole body tense up and all the fun / ease leave her body. She’s clenching her jaw to the point that it may crack some teeth under the pressure. Leah can sense the mood change and holds her tightly to herself. 

“Do you know him Ellie?” Leah is trying to catch her eye to see if she’s okay. Update: Ellie is not okay. She gently pushes Leah back a bit but wont look her in the eye. She stands up straight with her shoulders back and turns to the voice calling her name. 

“Stitch it is you!” A tall man around Bobby’s build comes over to the two girls. He grabs Ellie in a big bear hug squeezing her tight. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you here!” 

Ellie just took a step back looking at the man “Yeah, Patch - I mean Bobby and I live out here now.” She tries to keep it short and sweet. She wants this conversation to end immediately and forget the night has ever happened. Her once fun carefree night has taken a sharp turn she doesn’t want to go down. “How’d you end up out here?” 

The two make small talk and the man in questions turns to Leah “I’m sorry I’m Mack, Ellie saved my life once or twice over seas its nice to meet you” They shake hands and Leah looks at Ellie with an expression she can’t quiet place. 

“Ellie is quiet impressive isn’t she?” Leah is looking at Ellie when she asks but Mack answers anyway. 

“Oh hell yeah. We didn’t call her Stitch for nothing. She was almost always able to stitch us up. She even took a round for me. I’ll never be able to thank her enough” before the conversation could continue someone was calling Mack back over to their group. He squeezes the smaller girl one more time before disappearing. 

Ellie, for her part, is doing her best to act normal even though she can’t feel her legs. She can feel her heartbeat in her throat and her hands get clammy. The room is spinning, and its not alcohol induced, its pure panic. She looks at Leah and can see her mouth moving but can’t hear the words coming out of her mouth. She turns around and makes a beeline for the door. She makes it outside and feels the cold air surprise her. Its not enough to shock her system into getting its act together. 

Her breathing is labored and she can feel the tears coming down her face. The flashbacks of being at war and trying to save everyone hit her like a ton of bricks. She’s doing everything she can think of to calm down. She knows she’s in trouble when her hands start shaking. She’s just mumbling to herself “please please please stop” She almost has a heart attack when she feels a hand on her back. She quickly spins around and sees its Leah. 

“Hey hey hey” Leah is trying to make eye contact with the younger girl “whats going on?” 

Ellie just keeps shaking her head “I cant -“ She’s gasping for air. Pleading for her lungs to work but they seem to be betraying her. “Leah please” she looks at her hands shaking “I can’t help if they don’t stop shaking please make them stop shaking” 

Leah grasps her hands and holds them close to her. She’s finally able to get Ellie to look her in the eye “Hey. You are safe with me Ellie. You are okay. Follow my breathing okay? You’re safe and you don’t need to save anyone right now” She continued to coach her into steady breathing. Ellie’s spiraling took a few moments to calm down but when she did she felt spent. She didn’t even realize she was leaning her forehead onto Leah’s shoulder. To Leah’s credit she stood steady and let the girl get her composure and did not care how long it would take. 

“I told you my week has been a soup sandwich” Ellie mumbles out into Leah’s shoulder making the older girl laugh. 

She pulls away and holds Ellie’s face in her hands and wipes her tears away gently “Oh pretty girl what am I going to do with you?” 

“Pretend the last thirty minutes of the night didn’t happen so its not weird?” Ellie cautiously is looking at the blonde but sees nothing but adoration in her eyes. 

“Only if you give me your number.” 

Ellie is shocked by the boldness but wordless hands over her phone. Leah puts her number in her phone and calls it so Ellie could have her number. The two make small talk why they waited for Ellie’s Uber to come to pick her up. Just as it was about to arrive Ellie says “I really wish you would’ve kissed me”

Leah looks at her fondly and leans down and kisses her on the forehead. Ellie closes her eyes and enjoys the moment, unsure if she will ever have one like this again. Leah opens the door for Ellie to get into. “Until next time pretty girl, and text me when you get home!” 

As the Uber is pulling away Ellie can’t help but smile a bit. Even though her week was a soup sandwich she thinks it might’ve been worth it if it meant she got to be that close to Leah. 

[auspicioustidings]

Bannockburn

Summary: Your boyfriend Johnny has come home in a strange mood, and you are about to get your shit rocked at Bannockburn.

Technically, if you squint, a sequel to Savage set just over 700 years later. Like I will perhaps write a proper sequel at some point, but you can blame Bunny for this one.

Words: 3.6k

CW: CNC, smut, implied character death

You were getting nervous. You were getting really nervous. There were two Johnny’s and you never knew what one you were getting when he came home from a mission. Most of the time you got your Johnny, sweet and loving and tackling you to the bed with a laugh while he showed you how much he missed you. But sometimes whatever happened out on mission got his blood up. Whatever he usually did to get himself settled and out of war mode didn’t take. Sometimes you got the Savage Johnny, the one who heard your English accent and became more animal than man. The one who went into such thick Scots that you hardly understood what he was growling into your ear as he took you. 

Usually you knew what Johnny you had the moment he walked through the door. Not this time. This time he seemed like he was boiling with energy under the surface, but he kissed you nonetheless and ate dinner with you and held you as you slept. When he got you both up and packed into the car the next morning for a trip you had the sense to at least be a little worried. Now, hand held in his as you listened to the guide, you had some inkling that you might be in for it. 

“Now King Edward the second invaded as a result of Bruce’s demand to his people to recognise him as their King. He summoned 25,000 infantry and 2000 horses, the largest ever army to invade Scotland. Bruce only had command of 6000 men.”

You could feel the blood draining from your face as the guide went further into the background of the battle. Around about the time she briefly mentioned how Wallace had been hanged, drawn and quartered, limbs displayed in different cities, just shy of ten years before the Battle of Bannockburn, you absolutely knew what Johnny you had on your hands. And this Johnny? There was nothing you could do to save yourself from this Johnny. This Johnny was taking in every word, ready to punish you for your ancestors' transgressions against his. 

You were trying to pay attention, but your eyes were darting around trying to pinpoint any little nooks that might spell danger if he got you in them. Only that was dangerous in itself, because the first time you felt your attention drift from what was being said Johnny had let go of your hand and moved to instead hold you firm by the back of the neck, fingers massaging a little too hard in warning. That got you to pay rapt attention to all of it, to the whole history of the Scottish wars of Independence as it related to Bannockburn. 

It was strange sometimes, you and Johnny. There were times like now when you would be learning about the history of your countries and it felt like some long forgotten memory. There were times when you met his Lieutenant and swore you knew him from somewhere. Like there was some ancient part of you that trusted them when they fought together to watch each other's backs. No matter what Johnny you got, you held such a deep love for him that it scared you sometimes. Your heart twisted as they described what the battle would have been like for the soldiers, the sights and sounds and weapons. It must have been awful. 

You were stuck on it. Stuck on the image of a Johnny with a sword on the battlefield. That was your mistake, zoning out and just following along when he led you out to the grounds. Only when you had been walking for a while did you realise how far you were getting from the safety of a building full of people.

“Where are we going?”

“Dinae pay any attention at all did ye? Must naw have been interesting tae ye learning about how my people battered yours when they tried tae grind us intae nothing.”

“No, I was paying attention. Of course I was” you said, trying to be meek and quell some of his building fury. 

“Couldnae even hunt a bunny without some English noble claiming it wisnae our right. Punishing us” he ranted before turning to you with a feral look in his eye. “Cannae stop me from hunting one right now though can they? Ye going tae run for me wee bunny?”

Fuck. He looked ready to tear into your throat with his teeth. You felt every bit a prey animal, eyes darting around to find a way out of this. The woods. There were woods here. That was where he had been leading you while you had been busy getting stuck on the idea of him as some ancient warrior fighting to the death. Gillies Hill. The guide had told you about it, how the Scottish had made their camp here. It was where they had attacked from.

And it was where you found yourself sprinting through, heart pounding. Your logical mind knew it was a mistake, you running only meant he could chase. You should have just stayed where you were, tried to talk him down. You were stumbling and tripping, trying to get your bearings as the woods became dense around you. Every snap of a twig or sway of a branch sent you darting away in the other direction until you were shaking from exhaustion and no small amount of mounting terror.

You had never been hunted like this. Johnny had been rough with you before in the warmth of your own home, had fucked you into the bed like he was trying to mould you permanently to him. But this was a different creature entirely. This was the monster under the surface that you only caught glimpses of, that you never thought you would meet face to face. The woods were silent of another human, had you managed to escape him?

“Yer naw even trying little bunny, ye want me tae catch ye is that it? Slut.”

His breath was hot on your ear and you choked on any response you had tried to come up with. How had he gotten right behind you without a sound? You were running again, tripping and scraping your knees but clawing your way back to your feet to keep going. The little summer dress was not suited for this, but at least you were wearing boots. At least Johnny had told you to wear boots this morning. 

It was with a sickening dread that you realised he had planned this. He knew you would be running from him, knew he wanted you in a dress for easy access but boots for fleeing into the woods. At least you knew that your Johnny was still in there somewhere, enough to care about you not breaking an ankle. Not enough to care about breaking you in other ways. 

“Aww wee English princess got her knees all scraped up? All yer kinfolk are going tae ken how ye love getting on them for good Scottish cock when they see the marks. Wee whore down in the dirt fucking gagging on it, crying over how much ye love it.”

You couldn’t properly tell what direction his voice was even coming from. The shame of his words was flooding you with a sickly humiliation that only increased when your body reacted differently to how it should have. When you throbbed with need for him. 

“I’m not! That isn’t what’s happening!”

You were flustered and scared and needy and felt like you were yelling at nothing as you kept catching sight of him on your periphery only to turn and find nobody there. 

“Naw? Slick is practically running down yer plush fucking thighs princess, bet yer clenching down on nothin’. Dinnae even have tae catch ye dae I? Could just wait until ye come crawling tae me, begging me tae claim ye. Fucking pleading for it right here, right where my army celebrated before decimating yours.”

His words sent a shiver up your spine. Out here felt removed from time, it really did feel like you were betraying something by finding yourself drawn to this savage. By imagining that his prediction would prove true, that you’d beg for him. You couldn’t, it would be too much, too shameful. So you kept stumbling through the woods even when the deep tenor of his voice rang through in a mocking little song.

God he had translated this for you once. Told you that brose and butter was a euphemism, that it was about fucking a girl full of cum. It had made you blush and laugh at the time when he playfully sang it over to you now that you understood the meaning, but now? Fuck now it just scared the hell out of you with how the words were tinged with a promise. This was hardly playful, he really meant to hold you down and shove himself inside you out here in the woods where anyone could walk by. 

“We can’t! John please, not here” you pleaded, pausing to try and find where he was. “I… you were gone for months, I’ve not…”

He had made you promise before he left that you’d save yourself for him, wouldn’t even put your own fingers inside yourself while he was gone. And you hadn’t. Fuck you would be so tight now, not ready for him to take you hard. Had he known even then that this was the plan?

“Maiden are ye? Scared it’s going tae hurt, princess? It will, did they naw teach ye that we’re animals? We dinnae treat wee English lassies the way yer own men would. Ye’ll get treated the way ye should, like a fucking whore. And ye’ll take it won’t ye? Ye’ll take it wherever I want tae give it tae ye.”

Fuck, you were starting to slip away to whereever he was. You were starting to feel less like yourself and more like the poor English maiden being hunted by the enemy. The bunny being hunted by the hound. Starting to drift away into pure animal instinct, pure fear and arousal. You could hardly breathe now, feeling tears prick at your eyes.

“Please…” you sobbed quietly, not even sure what you were begging for.

And then he was there, towering over you and wrapping a hand around your throat, thumb beneath your chin to tilt your head and force you to look at him. 

“Wonder whit they’d think of ye begging so pretty for the enemy. Cannae help yerself can ye?” he said, as if fascinated by you, slipping his other hand up your dress and under your panties. “Fucking English slut. Y’er dripping.”

Your reaction to those words was violent and unexplainable. It made your legs shake and your pussy clench painfully hard. It was confusing how much it affected you, causing such a flood of wetness that Johnny noticed, his pupils dilating as he squeezed at your throat and laughed when that made you whimper and claw at his hand. He only kept on squeezing until you were starting to see stars.

“Dinnae fucking move princess.”

The pressure of his hands was gone in an instant and the flood of oxygen made you dizzy. There was no time for you to recover before he was on his knees in the dirt, treating your pussy like it was a mouth and sloppily kissing it over your panties. The press of his tongue was insistent and overwhelming, like he was trying to bully it past the fabric. When he ripped at your waistband with his teeth the lace tore. 

He continued his attack like he truly was a wolf sinking his teeth into a fresh meal, completely ruining your underwear until the mangled scraps fell to the floor and left you bare. Your hands were woven into his mohawk and you tried to pull him away, earning a growl that reverberated into your bones and a heavy handed smack to your ass before he assaulted your clit with tongue and teeth and spit. 

You felt yourself clench so hard that you almost felt nauseous. Fuck. You were trying to keep some sense of self, trying to remember that you were out in public and he was some feral version of the man you loved who was saying horrible things to you and promising he was going to hurt you. But there was a creeping haze taking over, turning you dumb for him. 

It wasn’t even something you had been aware was happening when you came on his tongue. It was just sensation, just the desperate need for more. The primal desperation to be fuller even as he pushed his tongue into your over sensitive hole while your walls fluttered through the pleasure of that high.  

“Please, need you.”

“Aye, that right? Needy wee slut.”

You were too far gone to notice that while he was rough in getting you onto your back in the dirt, one hand was gentle in cradling your head to make sure it landed softly. 

“Use those pretty wee words. Ask me for it the way ye’d ask a good English man.”

Ask me for it the way ye’d ask Simon.

When all you could do was wriggle underneath him and whine he grabbed the neckline of your dress and yanked it down to let your breasts spill out, slapping hard at one and making you howl. 

“They naw teach ye how tae talk proper ye wee slut? Ask fucking nicely.”

“Please, please I want you inside me.”

“Aye, can tell that princess. Whit else?”

“Want you to cum inside me.”

“Good fucking girl, wisnae so hard now was it?”

He didn’t take any of his clothes off, just fished his hard cock from his jeans, hooked your knees on his shoulders and pressed into your wet heat in one fluid motion. You both groaned as he bottomed out. It had been so long, you were so fucking tight around him. 

“M’so full, thank you thank you ,m’yours, need you. Fuck, ah. Made for you, it’s so much” you rambled, incoherent in your bliss. 

“There she is, needed this naw? Needed my cock deep in this tight wee English cunt. Cannae be a person without it, it’s whit ye were made for. Fucking built tae be on yer back with yer legs open for me.”

He stayed like that for what felt like forever, the fullness pushing any coherent thought out of your head. Fuck he was so deep like this, with you nearly folded in half. It felt like you were choking on his dick. You were clawing at the dirt by your sides so hard that you thought your fingers might bleed, but he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head before they could.

You were so cock drunk that you were only distantly aware of the look in his eyes now, the almost obsessive adoration as he took in how you looked pressed into the earth like this, dress rucked up from the bottom and pulled down from the top, palm print visible from where he had slapped at you, knees by your ears, hands pinned over your head and yet despite it all so blissed out you were salivating and babbling at him how you needed him.

When he pulled all the way out to the tip and then slammed back home you choked on the wind being knocked right out of you. It only encouraged him as he started to fuck you hard and deep, taking him time to make sure every thrust settled him so incredibly deep inside of you that you were floating. 

“Braw wee creature aren’t ye? Feart of me and gagin’ fer it anyway. Dinnae fash bonnie, gettin’ yer hole proper.”

You knew vaguely that he was close because you could hardly understand what he was saying. You were so unable to do anything in this position, no leverage on your arms and legs that you could use to pull him closer. 

“Inside, need it inside. Please, please ah!” you cried, no shame left in so as you begged like a bitch in heat for him to cum inside you. 

He shifted and sped his pace, nailing that spongy spot inside you that was making your vision black out with every thrust. You’d have marks on you from the buttons and zipper of his jeans. You’d have marks on your throat and your wrists, on your tits. He needed more, he needed anyone to take one look at you and know who you belonged to.

“‘at’s it, take it. Fuck. Good lass” he groaned as he sunk his teeth into your throat and your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came, clamping down on his cock.

He jackhammered into you, forcing his way in while your pussy tried to force him out. The tight heat of it was too much and he growled and stilled after one more brutal thrust had him cumming deep inside you. He collapsed on top of you, the painful stretch from being folded as you were a delicious burn with the extra pressure forcing you to stretch further. 

You stayed like that for a while, both panting. Only when you were slowly coming back to your senses did you feel a sharp pain in your back from what must have been a particularly jagged stone. Ah, you thought you were probably bleeding on it, feeling something sticky. 

“Bannockburn” you breathed out softly.

The pressure was off of you almost immediately and he let go of your wrists and kneeled up, pulling out with a soft sigh leaving both of you at the feeling. He was quick to tuck himself in before his hands were back on you, gentle this time, fixing your dress and rubbing at all the spots he had marked.

“C’mere bonnie, ye did so well. Hurting anywhere I need tae look at?”

He looked at your back when you told him, laying soft kisses of apology on you as he cleaned it up. You used to tease Johnny for the little first aid kit he always had strapped to the back of his jeans whenever you went out, but it was coming in incredibly handy. Your panties were toast and he sheepishly tucked the remnants of them into his pocket before getting you to unsteady feet. 

“Creeping Jesus, I’ve made a right mess out of ye” he said with a bashful sort of grin, doing his best to try and fix your hair. 

“Hmm, s’ok” you replied, still a little hazy. 

He kissed you soundly and then gave you an absolute squeeze of a cuddle before scooping you into his arms in a princess carry.

“Let’s get ye all tucked up in the car then we can have a bath and dinner when we’re home eh?”

You nodded and nuzzled into his chest to get comfortable. He would take care of you, he always did.

–

John MacTavish didn’t know how he got so lucky. Not any woman would be softly dozing off in his arms after what he had just put you through. Fuck you were beautiful all of the time, but when you were like this? Fucked out and marked up but achingly soft for him in the afterglow? Jesus, he loved you. He would love you forever, through lifetimes. 

He’d explain obviously, he should really have warned you how hard he was going to go, that should have been pre-negotiated. But he had been so wound up. Fucking Simon Riley and his little comments about you, winding him up by putting thoughts in his head about how demure an English man could get you. It should have just made him laugh and shove at him, instead it made his blood boil and his cock hard and he had taken it out on you. You had let him, you always did until either of you thought it wasn’t safe. 

He paused on his way out of the woods with you, considering waking you so you could see the little glade he had come upon. It was pretty as anything, almost felt like hallowed ground with a giant stone right in the middle. Something about it called to an ancient longing within him. Fuck. He wanted to marry you out here. Was that ridiculous? Maybe just post orgasm stupidity.

Still as he settled you in the car and took you home so he could love you properly, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

–

“Fuck, Johnny.”

Simon Riley was an Englishman through and through. Everytime he stepped into battle it was to strike down those who would oppose his King and country. Yet he had left the battlefield. He had tracked into the woods, to where he knew MacTavish had crawled off to die. He found him leant against the stone that sat in the centre of a glade. Of course this is where he would want to die. Not on the battlefield, but here. The place he had married you. The place they both had.  

“Ye come tae watch it for yerself Si?” Johnny said with a laugh that turned to a hacking cough. 

“Course. Been trying to kill you for years, not about to miss it.”

Simon sat next to him, both of them looking at the sunlight filtering through the trees. It was peaceful here. Maybe in another lifetime they would not have been enemies. Maybe in another lifetime they could have been brothers.

“Ye’ll look after her until I can find her again?”

“Always.”

[ratboyy-withtheexistentialdread]

Nevermore Chapter 97

Spoilers ahead, lads. Skedaddle if you don't fast pass. EDIT I guess I’ve said too much in this post and need to pull it back a little. So imma gonna edit it so it doesn’t say too much about this chapter.

Alright, first my reaction cause HOLY HELL those last few panels really got me like

I really had to put my phone down and talk myself through them. Now, lets talk about what I gained from this chapter and the infamous Annabel Lee. I've noticed, at least in the comment section, the fandom really doesn't care for Annabel's character and its difficult to know where the animosity has come from. Tumblr obviously loves her but us heathens support women's rights and wrongs (Don't we gents?) Many call her a sociopath or what’s happens in the last few panels. Annabel is indeed ruthless, calculating and stone cold but she obviously cares. She cares for Lenore above everything. It can be easy to see this as obsession as we really haven't seen her care about much else or even herself. But one comment on the Webtoon brought up a very valid point which I've also picked up on.

Annabel and Lenore in life were very isolated and broken people when they met one another. Annabel, broken and then rebuilt into a prim and proper lady. Lenore, broken physically and mentally and closed off from the world.

Meeting each other saved them. They were no longer alone. There was an understanding between them at least that we know of.

Their differences though is what divides them in death.

Annabel played games, and masked her true self around her father and family connections. She now makes games of situations to retain what little control she had in life over a society she knew she could never break the rules of. A Game that was always rigged against her.

Lenore rebelled against society. She fled the estate to escape a suitor, was bound to the attic and ostracized by her family, she then faked her death and posed as man to court Annabel, the one person who cared for her.

Lenore wants to break the rules of the deans Death Game. Annabel wants to follow them.

It’s all they’ve ever known.

Before it was only them that mattered. Now Lenore has so much more to fight for and Annabel still only has Lenore. Both are right in their own way of playing the game but it pains the other to witness.

Annabel, I’m sure is aware that the Deans are not all they seem to be and won’t simply allow the students to turn the tables on them if they played how Lenore wants to.

And playing Annabel’s way means the callous death of many many people that do deserve another chance at life.

Now. I do have to agree with Annabel in the sense that Lenore forgets

This is a Death Game

Right now the “villainous” characters show their true face with pride and the “hero’s” are charming and true but as we get down to the wire, it’s going to get grey. There are no good or bad at the end of these games, only survival.

Could Annabel show some restraint and more tact when speaking strategy and making plans with Lenore? Absolutely. She’s little too giddy about sweeping some pieces off the board.

Lenore also needs to stop being so naive. She saw first hand what exactly the Deans are capable of in Dreamland, it put the fear of god in her.

In fairness to both characters though they and we are still missing big pieces of what happened between them and what their causes of death were. Which could hold big aspects of their characterization.

Maybe Lenore was originally very callous about others. In life, aside from Theo and Annabel, we’ve never really seen her interact with others. Perhaps this is the Lenore Annabel speaks of.

Anyway, I’m rambling. In conclusion, I’m a bit disappointed in Nevermores comment section. I enjoy Annabel’s character although some parts do worry me a bit but I have hope Red and Flynn have plans to curve this to a satisfying reason and conclusion.

That cliffhanger, boy howdy, what the fuck is Lenore gonna do…

[troius]

What we learned from the war

"Endings are hard" is a something of a truism, but it's borne out in Bleach, where every story arc besides after the first two stumbled at the finish (even the endings of the first two arcs don't really "end" so much as continue into a new story). In the Arrancar arc, the number of characters and plotlines got so overwhelming that an ending that had to be rushed if it was to arrive at all. In the Lost Agent arc, the characters were pared down, but the ending wound up thematically inconsistent with the story anyways, possibly due to real-life circumstances. And the Thousand-Year Blood War somehow managed to have both problems.

The change in direction from "tightly focused character drama" to "sprawling cast of soldiers" meant that it was unlikely to ever give us the development of our protagonist that we craved, and that lack of focus was only aggravated by the widely-reported health problems of the author. And yet, perhaps because we don't get that, because so little of this arc is filtered through Ichigo learning about himself, we get a much clearer statement of the values inherent in the work.

This is most evident in our antagonists for this Arc. Yhwach and the Wandenreich don't really have the relationship with Ichigo that previoius antagonists had. He never knew his Quincy heritage, never identified with their ideals, and so feels very little conflict about opposing them. He doesn't ever develop his Quincy powers, at least beyond integrating them with his already existing powerset. And he doesn't take much of a personal interest in Yhwach, who in turn, doesn't seem to think much of him when he's not directly in front of him.

But for all that Ichigo doesn't end up having much of a dynamic with them, the Wandenreich still manages to maintain a unique character. Every antagonist has a priority, something that they are willing to do great evil for. For Soul Society, it's its own existence, the continuation of the system they've built. For Aizen, it's his own self-aggrandizement. For the Fullbringers, it was simply living another day, screwing over others so that they can't screw you first. But the Wandenreich has no such priority. They simply want it all to end.

That's most obvious in Yhwach's ending monologue, but you can see it from the very beginning as he kills Yamamoto, the man who tried to move on from his bloody past being slaughtered by the man who would absolutely not let it go. Yhwach shows more emotion towards the skeletons of Argola and Huberdt, his dead soldiers from a war long lost, than he does towards any of his living subordinates. And his subordinates follow his lead in showing no love to one another, happily stabbing each other in the back without even the Arrancars' uneasy level of camaraderie. Their movement has no future, and neither do they, so nihilism is the only recourse.

Most of the time. I think it's important to note that every time a member of the Wandenreich expresses positive feelings towards one of their comrades, it's immediately followed by them turning on Yhwach. Liltotto, Bazz, Giselle, eventually, in her own twisted way…even Jugram, at the very end. Sure, Yhwach kills them for their impertinence (he is the bad guy), but he also massacres the Wandenreich faithful en masse. There's no salvation, only death, and he'll enforce that state on his followers rather than allow them to discover any alternative.

I imagine the lesson, and the general attitude of the Wandenreich, was not lost on Uryu Ishida. Even in his relative paucity of appearances, it's he who is at the moral center of the arc. His culture, which he had thought was nearly entirely dead, turns out to be alive, and out for vengeance against the people who exterminated them. It's something he probably fantasized about growing up, and I don't blame him for joining. How could he not?

But at the end, he makes the very easy choice. Calling it a matter of "life and death" is a little on the nose, but it's morally quite black and white. Yhwach has no hope for this world, or for his people within it, or even himself. He lost a war for the nature of existence to a monster a thousand years ago, and never got over it. But Uryu has the strength to look at the horrors of this world and yet hope for better. Because he has people he loves in life, and who love him in return, he can dream of a better tomorrow.

And that's what the ending is all about. Yhwach loses to Ichigo, and it is very much "good guy beats bad guy". But he also loses to Uryu, and to "I hope to have a family with my girlfriend who I love so much" Renji Abarai, and to "I have a tremendous amount of hope to eventually make myself king of everything" Sosuke Aizen, and eventually (in a way I'm still confused about mechanically) to the child Ichigo and Orihime will eventually have, the literal embodiment of the potential of the future.

The final villain of Bleach is not society's tendency to preserve itself at any human cost. It's not individual selfishness, or manipulativeness, or any of the many vices we saw embodied in the hollows throughout the series. It's despair, the idea that life might not be worth living even through all the struggles and horrors our protagonists have endured. Sure, it will always raise its head, sometimes at the most inconvenient, or ill-fitting times. But having its reincarnation be blown away by the supernaturally normal lives of our cast…well, that's as clear of a message as I can imagine.

[xxhypersomnia]

My Gladiator II Review

Before I get into my individual analysis I would like to say a few things. Please keep these points in mind: 

Reviews are not a substitute for your own personal feelings or ideas about a movie. A review should never determine how a movie made you feel. Movies are art and we each experience them differently. That is the whole point. 

Step outside the fandom. The majority of people watching this movie are not deep within the bowels of the fandoms of the many amazing cast members in this movie. They do not know every leaked detail, they have not done research on their character’s real life history, they have not soaked in every subtle detail. They like Ridley or Gladiator, and they sat in a seat when it came out. Our expectations are often higher or at least different than the general public. Ridley also has a duty to make sure his stories are understood by the general public. So even though we may have wanted more, I doubt most people would want to sit through an 8 hour movie. Also take into account the general thought process of a movie. How people feel about things is based on their own personal experiences and qualifiers, as well as their attention spans, relation to art or history, etc. People go with their gut more than anything. 

Movies are art. They are not required to follow your personal beliefs, they do not need/nor can they satisfy every viewer. The creators of movies are allowed artistic integrity.

Subtlety & Brainpower 

One of the things that Ridley does well in all his movies, but also this one, is subtlety. There does not always need to be a lot of dialog to get a thought or feeling across. The visuals are their own character and that is the mark of a great director in my opinion. Things like the way a character looks at someone, or the proximity in which they stand can say a million things. Many of these moments can be seen in the eyes of Macrinus, Acacius, Lucuis, Lucilla, etc. They all have moments like this. A good actor can convey the feelings without having to say a word, and I think that all of them did a marvelous job in showing their talents in this arena. Some key moments being Macrinus and the way he notices the connection between Lucilla and Lucius, you can see the wheels turning in his mind, the way he needs to get ahead of this, to preserve himself and his rise to power. The way he needs to formulate a plan to still keep Lucius under his thumb because he knows he could ruin his whole plan if he brings back the connection with his mother. This is done in a matter of seconds with just a simple look on his face. 

Another great example is the connection between Acacius and Lucilla. They don’t really say a lot to each other throughout the movie, but you can feel that connection between them by their body language, the way Acacius looks at her like she means everything to him, because she does. Another is when the arrow comes into the emperor’s stand. At this moment Acacius actually looks like he fears it was for Lucilla, thinking Lucius is aiming for her, when in reality it's him. This is a magnificent moment. The look on Acaius’ face when that eye contact happens with Lucius is intense. A feeling of “how dare you? Why would you aim here?” And trying to figure him out, that is just perfection. 

Now, I will also say that recognizing things like this are also on the viewer. I cannot expect everyone to be a good reader of body language, or empathic enough to pick up on the emotions the actors portray. Which really is unfortunate for anyone who watches and doesn’t see things this closely, but I cannot make them have those abilities, unless they work on actively looking for these sorts of things. 

Lucuis’ Anger 

Beautifully expressed: rage from pain trope. Especially the scene where he fights against the chimps. Our pain is primal. Seeing his friend die just added fuel to the flame after his wife’s death which is still incredibly recent. It wasn’t survival anymore, it was a way to avenge those he cared about. His rage toward Rome began at a young age, when it took Maximus and his mother from him. It took his home from him. Then it got worse as he just continued to lose those he loved. (If you are a TLOU fan, you will also notice this character trope in Ellie which is incredibly, incredibly executed as I am sure you know.) 

The death of Acacius added to this rage, as well as the death of his mother which directly led him to finally bring down Macrinus. Lucius reached his breaking point, this is enough bloodshed, enough pain. He is thinking, this is not a responsibility that I asked to take on, but I cannot sit idly by and let Rome continue its tyranny on the innocent (a strong quality he got from his father). While we’re at it, let's talk about how Lucius is not Maximus. I think this was also expertly crafted, and when people say the second was a remake of the first, this is the biggest thing that stands out to me. Maximus was angry at Rome I am sure, he also experienced loss and heartache, but he was a trained military man. He fought with a type of calm and calculation that Lucius does not have. Lucius fought for his people, but he was not spending his life expertly learning to control his emotions like a general must. I loved this distinction, it is clear in so many parts of the film. 

The way that Lucius is incredibly stubborn, or the way that he delivers speeches to support the men is much different than Maximus, and I believe that is with purpose. One thing rang true between them both, which was like a string connecting Lucius to Maximus, is that it doesn’t matter your experience or expertise, you show the people that you care and that you will lead them with caring and humility and you will earn their trust. Maximus and Lucius did not just care about their own survival, they cared about the survival of everyone who was forced to be a gladiator. They cared about working together, which is something Lucius definitely learned from watching his father in the arena. He knew that things were better accomplished as a team. This was also the way Rome needed to function, and that is what was going to make them good leaders. By taking into account the suffering of others. In the end, Lucius may not know the first thing about politics or running a council for the people, but he understood the people. 

They also both were good leaders in the sense that they were unafraid to take the helm. They knew someone had to help, so they took the duty upon themselves. 

Macrinus & Lucius have the same motive 

Denzel’s character and Paul’s character both hate rome. They both want to see it change/fall. However, while Lucius’ reasons are based on avenging the loved ones he lost, Macrinus’ reasons are selfish. He remembers the pain that was directly caused to him and he wants revenge. He wants to make Rome pay, he wants to burn it to the ground. But the way he was going about it was making him no better than those who mistreated him in the first place. He was too consumed by power, literally saying “I must have power” and he was willing to do anything to obtain it, regardless of who he hurt. 

(This shows the clear difference between revenge and avenging) 

The Emperors

In reality this was much too short a time to understand a lot about their characters, but the point got across. These two characters deserved much more screen time but sadly that wasn’t available. They could have each had their own movies to be honest, but I think that Ridley did enough with the scenery, the supplements around them to create a narrative that could still be understood. We knew that Fred’s character had syphilis. We knew they both were losing their minds, they were twins. They were easily manipulated and never should have been in power in the first place. They were easy targets for Macrinus to come in and manipulate them. I immediately loved both of them and believed their mental states. Without having to be told specifically they were unstable, we could see it immediately, through their appearances, the look in their eyes, their laughter, their inability to discuss things at a level of intelligence needed to run Rome. Joe especially was deep into the mental state of his character and he did so beautifully. 

The Use of Lighting & Color

There are multiple moments in the movie where lighting is expertly used as a tool for storytelling. A lot of the lighting I noticed around Lucilla especially. There is a moment where she is in one of the cells I believe and she is lit so beautifully by the window (I tried to find a photo, but have not). This can represent how she was light, a sign of hope, of safety. 

Color is huge in film. Colors can convey emotions that you don’t even recognize they are making you feel sometimes. A huge example of the importance of color was the end scene where Lucius says goodbye to Maximus and Lucilla. The scene is mostly blue and purple. Colors that are often said to be calming. Blue is related to grief and death. What I find beautiful about this is that most of the movie is in natural tones. Beige, brown, white. Then there’s this one scene that is so blue, as gentle as it is, it's a stark contrast to the feeling of the rest of the film. 

I also enjoyed the scenes where Lucius drifted to another “realm/dream” and envisioned his wife. I think purely from an artistic standpoint this was beautiful to do in black and white. Death and the shock of death can feel hollow, colorless, like every ounce of vibrancy has been sucked out of your world. There could have also been a cultural representation here, forgive me I am not versed enough to know about the way people in these areas viewed death besides they thought they lived outside the realm of the living, which could potentially be represented by the taking away of his wife or how he ran but couldn’t get to her. (I would need more research into this subject to know more. Although I have a lot of great books about death and how different cultures view death if you would like to expand yourself.) 

General Acacius 

To put it bluntly, Acacius needed to die. Again, beautifully executed. Putting aside my massive fangirling of Pedro Pascal, he was a flushed out character with the little that we got of him. With very little language, they were able to build him as a character that we knew had a good heart. From the beginning we see him grieve the loss of human life, regardless of his role as general. Acacius was no doubt seen as merciful, but also most likely as a pillar of the growth of Rome. The expansions that, by view of the people, kept them alive and thriving. Continued to give them lands to harvest and feed the people. Obviously we learn more about his character later from the full script, which helps explain a lot of other stuff I won’t get into right now. But Acacius did a great job as a much needed story support. Acacius was fiercely loyal to Lucilla. Not only as her love and husband, but as someone who was tasked with caring for her (which is lightly touched on in the first scene of Acacius and the emperors together). This is absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. From the original movie, we know that Lucilla was the subject of much pain and heartache, being misused by her brother and discarded, as well as losing her son and Maximus. It was so lovely to know that she had spent the last 16 years, no matter how strenuous, with a man who would give her the world. She deserved that. (all women deserve that ahem). 

Why did Acacius HAVE to die in the manner he did? 

Let’s start with how this character was perceived. Much like Maximus, we get the sense that Acacius was much loved, selfless in his fights for Rome and understanding. He commanded gently and caringly. When Acacius was captured for treason, Macrinus saw this as a “two birds with one stone” opportunity. He could buy the loyalty of Lucius, by giving him the general’s head, but he also could use this moment as a way to manipulate the emperors and begin to turn the people against them. He makes the suggestion of having Acacius enter the ring. Which is not what the people would have wanted. They did not want to watch their beloved General die in spectacle. Executions were often reserved for non-citizens of Rome as well, he was being degraded by being put in the ring at all. Lucius line about how they treat their heroes was perfect here. Lucius, refusing to kill Acacius, set him up for future success as the prince of Rome. The people were able to see that he was also merciful. If he had killed Acacius himself, they would have hated him for taking away their beloved general. 

When Lucius realizes that Acacius cared for his mother and his father, as well as refusing to fight him, he is able to see past his anger and realize he was not an enemy. Acacius being killed so abruptly, and by arrows again, reignited his rage for Rome. Recognizing that Acacius, a good man, was also being forced into a form of servitude, unable to deny his post as general. And thus forced to continue taking lives in the name of Rome. In this moment, there is realization, for himself but also the people of Rome, that Rome is not there to help. There is no discerning between enemy and hero in the eyes of Rome. Acacius’ death serves as the catalyst for the people to begin to turn against the idea of the emperors and open the space for Lucius to become the one people look to. 

The symbolism of arrows/death by arrow 

Everyone that Lucius loved died by arrow. Arrows are a disconnected way to kill someone, it's less personal. It's distant and emotionless. Using arrows was incredibly symbolic. Those in power are cowards, unable to take the lives of the people directly. Pedro’s character however, has had to do this multiple times. A close, personal kill resonates with you. You see the pain, you feel it, you get covered in their blood. Arrows are a cowards’ tool (or any long distance weapon) where you can disconnect the life you’re taking from yourself. This just showed that Rome didn’t care, killing was easy to do and they would do it to anyone, there was no grief in their actions.

It felt like theatre 

The directing style of Ridley leans hard into this being an aspect of the film. We know that he enjoys single cuts and doing things from start to finish and that was really shown here. I recommend watching the movie again and just making yourself aware of this. There were multiple scenes that made it feel like you were watching a play, from the placement of the characters to the way they had to act in the moment. A phenomenal example of this is the scene where Macrinus manipulates Caracalla. The monkey, Sherry, was definitely doing her best to throw them off their game and they acted their asses off. Bravo! But also, the set up of the scene felt very theatre-like which resonated with me. Who knows, maybe that’s because I’m a theatre kid. 

Shock Factor 

There were a few moments that actually made the audience gasp, which to me is just great. Movies with a strong emphasis on fighting and death can easily be turned into just a gore fest but I do not feel that happened here. The parts that made you tense were done well and were few, such as Macrinus’ hand being chopped off, and Geta’s death at the hands of his “brother” (technically Macrinus). 

Homage to the original

While some people think this was a cheap way to do the movie, I don’t. I think it was marvelously executed and nostalgic. What is cheap is things like Disney literally making the same movie but just making it live action. This was a way to bring your memory back to the original, to spark the feelings you originally felt, or to get excited over what might happen when you realized that things were similar. Personally, I rewatched the original right before going to London to watch the sequel and I was so glad that I did. I was able to pinpoint those exact moments and it made me wonder where the story was going to go. Were they going to do the same thing? Then I was pleasantly surprised when it was different. I think Gladiator reserved the right to do this. It has been 24 years since the original, it was a big deal when it came out, a fan favorite and the reason being, it was a good story. So to implement those same story elements into this one and not only bring back memories, but create memories for a new audience, I think in my own opinion was appropriate. 

There were some beautiful, almost shot for shot moments, like when Lucius’ friend rides to find the military to enlist their help or after being captured in the original, Maximus’ injury was helped by a fellow slave and Lucius did the same for another in the sequel. 

Cons

Too many storylines to flesh out 

One of the great things about this movie is we got a lot of really great characters, when in the original we had about 3 main characters (Maximus, Lucilla and Commodus). In the new one we have 6 (Acacius, Lucilla, Lucius, Geta and Caracalla). They are characters that we want to imagine more of, that we need more of. The issue is there wasn’t enough time to give them all the storylines they deserve. While some of us may have gladly sat through an 8 hour movie, I don’t think that is the case for most people. However, I did not leave the movie theatre feeling I didn’t understand any of the characters. I maybe wanted more of them, but I was given enough to understand them and their place in the storyline. 

Do we need to talk about the sharks?

(maybe a little bit…) We know that the reason we don’t have great white sharks in tanks in aquariums right now is because of transportation. Great whites must have constant flowing water over their gills to live, this is why they are continuously swimming. There have been many cases of modern technology attempting to move them for human entertainment, which have failed miserably. So I am confused as to how they were transported into the arena (if they were. I have not done my research to see if this was at all historically linked.) If you would like to learn more about how we have made attempts to transport sharks, I recommend one of my favorite books “Devil’s Teeth” by Susan Casey. 

Recap

I know this wasn't much of a review as it was an analysis and that was by design. I do not wish to tell you whether or not you should like the movie, but to instead give you tools to look at the movie more objectively. I hope you liked this, and please feel free to message me here or on instagram. I have more to discuss but I can't possibly go on forever in this post.

[don1t1red]

Honestly, one thing about DotO which always bothered me is how Billie seems to be so lonely in her journey. And not in a way of "she is a lone-wolf" but in a literal sense of loneliness and not-belonging. It almost feels like it is her first day in Karnaca, a city where she doesn't know a single thing or person. Which isn't true. I know that a lot of people have already talked about this, and so I won't jump into the depth of criticism. Treat this post as a bunch of thoughts which occurred to me in my first playthrough.

Firstly, there is no recognition from different people. Stilton, for example. In DH2 she was ready to battle her way to his house and help him, she payed with her blood, her eye and her arm. And yet in DotO we don't see any valuable mentions of this man. Yes, we have a photo in her cabin but that's it! Nothing more nothing less, just a photo which exists in the cabin only to show us, the player, the Void rifts. Almost like it was never meant to actually represent their relationship, just a funny mechanic of the game.

Maybe I don't understand her character to that extent but when I firstly played and heard Billie's monologue about the state of the Dreadful Whale, I had a thought. Was there no one who could help her with that? And my first thought was Stilton, especially after I saw their photo together. But alas she didn't mention anything like that which was completely fine… till the The Stolen Archive mission. With a plot progression things became absurdly stupid. Billie learns that the cult uses Shindaerey as their hideout. And what is Shindaerey? It's a literal mining quarry.

And so you want to tell me that Billie who I know, cunning Billie, who was, by Daud's words, extremely good at unsolving mysteries, won't at least ask Stilton about this quarry? She won't ask a mining baron of Karnaca? Really? Give her skills some credit! I'm not asking for a 5 minute long cutscene but at least a small panel in the pre-mission briefing where Billie talks to him about that, and where we can see how worried he is for her. She is not alone and, no matter what, there is still at least one person who remembers her, sees her and wants the best for her. But again, for whatever reason Billie has no valuable connections in this game, it seems. So it didn't happen.

Two other people about which I keep thinking about are Thomas and that person who borrowed Billie's skiff and returned it during the Follow the Ink mission.

If that note from a certain T. was actually from Thomas I can't think of good enough reasons not to include some of the letter which might happen in between them during the events of the game. Thomas knew that both Billie and Daud were in Karnaca but he didn't know that Daud had died. And honestly an unfinished letter from Billie to him where she tries her best to write about their master's death but just can't - would be absolutely gut-wrenching and insightful. Also it could be interesting to see the difference in how Billie is talking about this event and how she is living through it in reality. Because - obviously - people's internal and external dialogues would be different and seeing that difference in Billie would help us, the player, to understand some shapes of her character.

Or maybe Thomas would learn about Daud's death himself somehow, maybe he could recognize Billie's work as she goes though the city to uncover its secrets. And, finally, it would be simply fun to find a small lootstach from Thomas on one of the missions, accompanied with a letter from him. How is he now? What are his thoughts about Billie? How do her actions are seen by the common folk? Or by the gangs? After all, a good character is not only divided by how the story sees that character but also how this character sees themselves and what other people in the story are thinking about this character. And, as I already said, this small letter exchange between Billie and Thomas could cover up those aspects.

And so we are left with only one character whose presence and absence in Billie's story bothers me. That person who borrowed the skiff. Because the skiff was Billie's main link between the shore and the Dreadful Whale. We learnt from DH2 that in any port there would be a “fee” for leaving the ship there, later, in DotO she complains that hiding her ship wasn't an easy task. So whoever borrowed it must be a good friend of Billie, as absence of the skiff puts her in a bad and potentially dangerous situation. Besides there is a note by a certain M., which talks about meeting with Billie later. I was kinda excited to see who this person might be. Someone whom I already know? Character from the first game? Maybe from the second one? Would it be a howler or black market dealer? Would they give me some special mission akin to one that Emily can get in the Royal Conservatory mission? Well, should I say that I was left wondering as there was not a single special NPC which met the criteria.

What? I forgot about someone? Deirdre? Oh, right. Deirdre. The best person in Billie's life and the worst death in Billie's memory. Right. It's almost too easy to forget that she exists, as Billie talks about her approximately two times in the game? More or less so. Should she talk more about her? Maybe, I don't know. But I remember thinking about using the rat charm in the Void or in the quarry. I thought that in the Void I could hear the real Deirdre speaking, this idea gave me chills back then. To adjust to the voice of your loved one's from rats, only to hear her cursing you for all you have done or to call you from beyond. I thought that she would appear somewhere in the Void, just in the corner of my vision. But again it didn't happen. And I don't know for better or for worse. As in the current state if you want to completely strip her out from the game - you won't lose a single thing. After all, a rat charm is just a rat charm, and so is a voice in it, as it never changes and never really speaks to Billie, it was never a personal matter.

Overall, I don't want to be another person who throws rocks at DotO as, honestly, I like Billie and I'm just… sad, I guess. I'm sad that the game about such a character fails to make me think more of her. I'm sad that the plot of this game was kinda ruined with a terrible script. And, at the end of the day, I'm just sad that Billies didn't get her chance to shine in her own game.

But nonetheless I still like Billie and, at least, her sarcastic comments on the surrounding was always a delight to hear, so I'm gonna replay this game one more time in vain hopes to find what I see in it.

[inbarfink]

One thing about ‘Fionna and Cake’ the Show’s view of trauma and recovery is that it loves to emphasize the idea that a step forwards is a step forwards no matter how flawed it is.

Simon’s decision to embark on the Crown Quest is definitely the most obvious example. It was a terrible move that speaks both to Simon’s inability to see value in his old life outside of noble self-sacrifice and a deep streak of basically-suicidal self-destructiveness. Fionna is only really starting to fathom just how truly a terrible bad no good idea it is, and Simon has yet to really admit it at all.

But compared to where he was just moment before he made that decision, literally resigned to drinking himself away and waiting for death at the hands of the Scarab even though that will also doom all of Fionnaworld - self destructing so hard he was taking an entire universe down with him - that was still technically a Step Forwards.

It got Simon to take Fionna and Cake’s feelings into consideration and actually engage with them as Real People and not just another example of the universe kicking him when he’s down

And it kept him motivated enough to keep moving forwards and really helped him rediscover his capacity to feel happiness 

And that’s how he and Fionna really made friends and developed a bond

And that is what saved Simon from the Magic Crown and his own self-destructiveness in ‘Jerry’, at least temporarily.

Him opening up to Fionna and allowing her to know him beyond just a Pathetic Old Weirdo Who Doesn't Even Have Magic Anymore is what allowed her to so quickly understand why letting Simon turn himself into Ice King is actually such a terrible thing.

And Fionna’s hesitation to give Simon the Crown and the chance she’s given to him to relive his happiest memories stopped - or at least delayed the most self-destructive part of Simon’s plan. 

And I feel it’s pretty probable Fionna’s words and actions and the friendship they forged and the positive experiences the adventure has given him will have an effect on Simon’s decisions in the future.

However toxic and flawed Simon’s first step was, it still mattered to his overall recovery.

And you can say similar things about Fionna’s progress as a hero.

Most notably her blunder with the Obvious Trap in “The Star”. 

Was it a Bad Terrible No Good Idea? Yes, absolutely. Both for Fionna’s psyche in specific and also for Literally Everyone in Vampireworld actually

But it was a Step Forward in the very very bumpy road of Fionna towards true heroism. Her earnest desire to truly help people and make the world around her just a little bit better and questioning authority - after blindly following the Winter King’s flattery in a quest to Defeat All the Baddies made her hurt so many people… 

It shows how much her experiences affected her and mattered to her how much she’s trying to learn from her mistakes. Taking responsibilities for her actions, dealing with the consequences. Even as the people around her are, however well-intentionally, trying to tell her to pay it no mind at all 

Fionna still understands that it is important to her to care about everything that happened and to try and do better. And she did really try to do better. 

And after that little blinder went up in flames, she started trying to do better by being more careful. And that also wasn't perfect because she became kinda overly-careful and overprotective and put a huge wedge between her and Cake

But it's still an important step in Fionna learning to process the consequences of her actions. And because Fionna is now so much more invested in thinking things through and not wanting anyone to get hurt - that is also a big reason why she hesitated to give Simon the Extinctworld Crown. And it's probably going to lead to other good deeds in the future.

And that… doesn’t negate All the Terrible Things that happened as a result of her decisions - but it still mattered as a step forwards for her character as well. 

[phantom-of-the-501st]

"I don't enjoy solitude" Pt 2

I'm gonna call this a part two because it follows on from the post I made yesterday. Although I guess it is less of a follow up and more of a case of reworking what I said in the original post into something a little bit more fleshed out, because I feel like I glossed over a lot of stuff I wanted to say initially (and didn't because it was almost midnight when I wrote it @saturn-sends-hugs don't yell at me for not sleeping I know 😭)

I'll probably just recap everything I said in the other post in this one anyway so it doesn't matter whether or not this is the only one you see I guess

Like I said yesterday, this line is interesting because while it initially puts forward the idea that Echo doesn't like being alone, the actual context had nothing to do with Echo being put in a situation where he would be by himself. In fact, Omega is asking him if he wanted to join her in something. And yes, Echo does hate being by himself, but the line is more about Echo being left alone with his own thoughts. It isn't just being by himself physically, its being stuck in his head without any escape. That's what terrifies him.

And it makes sense. Echo went through some atrocious things and a lot of his memories are either bad or have likely been tainted by other circumstances in a way that means that he doesn't want to think about them. Outside of that one scene of Echo in the cockpit following Tech's death, we never see Echo not doing something or not being with someone. There is always something that is keeping him from his thoughts and that's the whole point. The last thing that Echo wants to do is confront what is in his head. Being alone with nothing but his own mind is exactly what he went through on Skako Minor and the last thing he ever wants to do is revisit that.

But the thing is, it isn't healthy (at least, not in the long run) because for as long as Echo keeps running from his thoughts, he's going to wear himself down. This man never stops. He just keeps going and going and going and half the time if he isn't doing anything "practical", it's against his own will. And so much of that is linked to survivor's guilt. As many other people brought up, Echo likely blames himself for the clones who died as a result of the Techno Union getting a hold of the battle strategies. We know that it's not his fault but to Echo the fact that he survived that entire ordeal, while it was his own plans that were used and manipulated to kill his brothers, must eat away at him.

Echo has never really taken the time to mentally process a lot of what he went through. By the end of the show, he is in a much better place than he was initially: he's physically healthier and he's actually cracking jokes again. A lot of that is thanks to the Bad Batch. They were integral in his healing journey. However, that doesn't mean he's okay. This is a man who can't be left alone with his thoughts because it will cause him to spiral. Not constantly being around people or constantly doing something leads him into a dark place and that isn't a great position for him to be in. This man doesn't really know peace because every part of his life, even his mind, runs at 300 miles an hour. And Hunter knows this. He wasn't wrong when he asked Echo when it will ever be enough. He's watching his brother run himself ragged trying to rescue the clones and to fight against the Empire, when realistically, it's not a battle they can win. Every time Echo leaves Pabu, the Batch are faced with the idea that it may be the last time they ever see him. Because if we're being completely honest here, unless Echo ever gets to the point where he is okay enough to sit down and actually relax for once in his life, there will be a point when it will be the last time they ever see him. Whether or not it's in two days or two years or two decades, this man will lose his life to the cause, even if it's as a result of him working himself down to the bone.

Echo will never value his own life over the life of his brothers. He won't retire because to him it will never be fair that he can live a life of peace when there are others out there who can't have that, and that means he will only stop the fight when there is no-one left worth fighting for. But there will never be a point where there is no-one left to fight for. Echo will continue to find a reason to stay in the fight, to keep working, to never keep still because that's just who he is. And we love him for that. We love his loyalty and his dedication and his endless ambition. But it's also to his detriment. I don't know if we will ever see Echo at a point where he is truly okay. He will keep going until he can't anymore and if that is at the cost of his own life, then that's what he'll take.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I mentioned Maslow’s hierarchy of needs* in this post regarding Ed and the gravy basket. His needs are lower rung and basic. But Ed does demonstrate an intuitive understanding of self-actualisation and self-esteem which rests at the top of the pyramid.

The show is so careful not to suggest Ed is ‘cured’ by Stede. Stede isn’t mentioned by name at all in the gravy basket. He is alluded to as things get ugly later on and shown in flashback, is strongly linked to Ed’s reasons to live, and is probably there symbolically as Ruthie.

But when Ed is trying to think of a potential life outside of piracy, it involves self-fulfilling work regarding what is likely a long-term dream: the innkeeper. It’s taken other forms, such as Blackbeard’s bar and grill, but it’s something that Ed aspires to which is his dream before it becomes something he wants to share with Stede.

*I know Maslow isn’t the be all and end all. It’s familiar and useful.

In the gravy basket, Ed is focusing upon both the bottom and top of Maslow. It’s the middle of the pyramid, Love and Belonging, Ed tries to ignore for as long as he can until it breaks through his consciousness in the diatribe during the innkeeper skit, followed by his beach confession, ‘I don’t think anyone’s waiting for me.’

It’s important that Ed’s vision of Stede triggered by Stede’s presence, mirrors Ed and gives him space; the vision seems to say, I’m here for you to share a life with, not to be your life. You are safe to be yourself with me. Part of that ‘self’ is the innkeeper dream, and Ed thinks he can actualise that dream with Stede. Both are part of what a happy life looks like for Ed. It’s a surprisingly healthy iteration of what love should be - freeing.

Outside of the gravy basket, Ed doesn’t let go of the need for self-actualisation and self-esteem. He reasserts in 206 that Stede and he are innkeepers even though they aren’t at this stage. It’s as if he’s trying desperately to manifest it, whilst also reinforcing to Stede how important this dream is to him.

In 207, perhaps thinking the innkeeper dream is a stretch without Stede (whom he thinks he is losing to piracy), Ed panics and grabs at the nearest thing - becoming a ‘fisherman’. It’s not optimal, but he is trying to keep the self-actualisation flame alive, even though he might need to do it alone. For Ed at this point, it probably feels like a matter of life and death, physically and spiritually. That the flame dies quickly is because it was a false attempt at self-actualisation which we see parodied in the ‘majesty in fish-scales’ montage.

When Zheng asks Ed to team up to destroy the British, Ed’s lack of enthusiasm for the task couldn’t be more apparent (I’m surprised when I see people say they’re blindsided here by Ed being at the inn at the end, because Ed ‘agreed’ to team up with Zheng. He agreed with less enthusiasm than Stede did to the China plan. His body language screams not gonna happen). It’s not enough that Stede and he will be together in joining Zheng. Ed does not want to be a pirate anymore. He wants and needs at least a crack at the innkeeper dream.

The final scene is Ed’s at least having a shot at true self-actualisation, and in the process, giving Stede a go at it too. Stede has proven people skills, and has shown himself adept at customer service whilst working at Jackie’z. Stede could never even begin to self-actualise in Bridgetown, and the parts of piracy that allowed him to - creativity and purpose - he can do just as well, if not better, as an innkeeper. Both now have Love and Belonging, plus intercourse with orgasms. Whether they will have good food and warmth in their love-shack… well, we trust the OFMD-verse will provide.

[bakugotrashpanda]

Tribute!Touya x Stylist!OC Word Count: 4.5k

Hunger Games AU

A/N: This was supposed to be a couple paragraphs, but here we are. No beta we die like men. Thank you @t-tomuras for the inspiration <3 I know it’s supposed to be self-ship, but I put an OC in for my comfort.

They escaped the Reaping only to be pulled back in.

The games have gotten boring. There's no shock in seeing kids fight each other in the arena any more. Sure, it serves as a reminder of the past and shows that no matter where someone is from, given the right circumstances, anyone can kill. Barbaric. But… the glamor of voyeurism, of watching kids suffer mentally and physically as entertainment, has lost its spark.

But pushing the age range for the reaping back? Giving kids more time to hope and dread, to understand what they're losing once they have a taste of a future – their future? Ripping families apart at an age where maybe someone is losing their parent rather than a sibling? Cruelly putting a decade of adults who thought they escaped the horrors of the Capital back into the running of dying? Delicious. 

At least in the jaded eyes of the Capital.

For Touya Todoroki though, it’s a chance for him to finally live up to his father’s expectations. Living in District 2 has its perks – if you’re seeking glory in death. The finest training establishments for Peacekeepers also means the finest training for careers who want to put their names in the stars or die trying. Touya wouldn’t even have to sneak into these facilities if he wanted that; he’d just need to throw his last name around and every door would open for him.

Special benefits of being a colonel’s son.

But he was never interested. He skated through life putting his name on the stupid ring out of some sense of duty and familial pressure only for it never to be drawn because some other idiot volunteers. Usually it was multiple idiots all clamoring to be first. 

He escapes his teenaged years unscathed. 

Adulthood means nothing to him. There’s no sweet relief he knows other districts must feel now that they have one less thing to worry about – for now, nor is there any bitter resentment at losing the opportunity at doing something great and having the eyes of the country on you. Life just… goes on. 

When faced with the prospect of needing a job, Touya’s options were to follow his father’s footsteps and become a low level military grunt and rise through the ranks, or join the miners in the quarries. 

It was a never-ending tirade from his father about how he ‘wasted his potential’ and ‘humiliated the family name’ by going into the quarries.

A couple years passed. Touya finally got a place of his own, left a string of broken hearts, and generally felt unsatisfied with life. There has to be more to living than just waking up, working, joining his coworkers at the bar, and then going back to his shitty apartment at the end of the day to wake up and start it all over again.

And then the rules change. It happens mid-shift. A roar rises above the normal work noise. He thinks it’s another truck rolling over – that would be the second one this week. But the angry cries work their way down the line to where he’s stationed. 

We’re back in the Reaping.

Fear. Chaos. Anger. 

Everyone around him is in a tizzy. And Touya feels numb. Back in the Reaping?

The site clears out. People panic and run home to hear it for themselves and not through the grapevine. 

Touya goes to the best source he can (unfortunately) think of; the Todoroki household.

Tensions are high.

His brother and sister sit ramrod straight around a rarely used dinner table that is more for show than anything else. Fuyumi fiddles with the locket around her neck – pictures of her new child no doubt. Natsuo’s clenched fists on the table are stark white causing the onyx band on his ring finger to stand out even more.

“It’s true,” his father says quietly. “You’re all back in the Reaping.”

Silence. 

Tears trickle down Fuyumi’s face.

As adults, there will be less bravado about volunteering. Less people will want to willingly leave their lives behind and–

“I’ll volunteer.” Shouto. Perfect fucking Shouto. Of course he would. Touya has to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“You’ll make me proud,” their father says and fondly claps him on the shoulder. 

That’s that. Everyone disperses back to their own homes. If Shouto volunteers, then that’s the boys taken care of. If Fuyumi’s name gets picked, then she’s shit out of luck.

So why does Touya stand tall on the day of the Reaping? Why does his voice ring out loud and clear after the introductions are done? Why do his feet carrying him onto the stage?

Standing next to the announcer, his gaze flicks from his stunned brothers to his father. That’s why. Watching his father try and fail to control his bitter rage, his face turning dark shades of crimson. That’s why he did it. To rob him of what should’ve been a proud moment in his life.

There’s a mic in his face. He stares at the announcer who’s hungry for an answer.

“Your bravery,” they start again, “What motivates you?”

He looks at the screen behind him and smirks. He’s no longer the scrawny teenager internally mocking all the tributes. His years working have filled out his formerly lanky frame. 

“To show that the Todoroki name means something,” he answers condescendingly, “And that I’m not wasting my potential.”

There’s an outburst from the stands. He refuses to look. He knows who it is. It would only be the cherry on top if his old man keeled over and died from anger right here right now.

He did it. He volunteered. 

What a stupid fucking mistake. 

His goodbyes are awful and he spends most of it deflecting questions from his family. Yes, he’s aware Shouto was going to volunteer. No, he doesn’t have any remorse for what he did. Yes, he definitely is thinking of family, just not in the way they’re implying. Will he survive and win? That’s to be determined. 

His father doesn’t make an appearance.

The short train ride to the Capitol is spent silently with the mentors and the other tribute. His counterpart seems… alright. She has some training  and a determination that’ll maybe help her live past the first day. What can Touya do? Explosives. Operate heavy machinery. Swing a hammer. How much different can a skull be from a rock?

Peacekeepers escort them to a processing center with sterile white walls and bright overhead lights that give Touya a headache. How many of them were trained by his father?

The tributes from 1 arrive at the same time as them. He gets a glimpse of the duo before being whisked away to a slightly less off-putting room. A woman with matte black lipstick and electric blue hair styled in an angular bob waits inside.

He can feel her calculating brown eyes rove up and down his body. Taking stock.

“Like what you see?” Touya says sarcastically. She doesn’t respond, but walks up to him, the slightly dimmer light reflecting off the gold lining her gray suit.

The woman extends her hand. “Alex. Your stylist.”

“Great,” says Touya, ignoring her hand. “Just what I need. Fashion.”

Alex pulls out a tablet and a laser pointer of sorts and starts circling Touya. “Think of me as your personal storyteller,” she says and taps away on her tablet before returning to scanning him. “I use your body to tell the world about you.”

“I’m not one of the children you can dress up like a doll.”

“Good. No one needs another sob story in the lineup. There are enough people leaving spouses and kids behind that’ll try and use that to their advantage.” She stops in front of him and shines the laser from his left to his right shoulder. From this close he can see the layers of makeup the Capitol is renowned for. “Tell me you’re more interesting than that.”

“Got no wife, and no kids with my name.” Maybe a bastard or two, but who’s counting?

“And what do you do in 2?”

“Quarry work.”

“Which is?”

“You’re fuckin’ annoying. Rocks. Demolition.”

“Why not military? Your father is up there, right?”

“You do your homework,” Touya smirks, “I was on a train for less than two hours after I volunteered.”

“I have to in order to be good at my job.”

Touya crosses his arms over his chest. “What’s your real question?”

A smirk crinkles her supposedly flawless facade. “Why volunteer?”

“To be every bit the disappointment my father expects me to be. One final ‘fuck you’ just for him.”

Alex stands there for a moment tapping one perfectly manicured nail against her thigh. Lost in thought, she chews on her bottom lip for a second, the black lipstick coming off at the inner edge to reveal her natural lip underneath.

Fuck he wants to smear it. Take the perfection of the Capitol and ruin it any way he can. 

“I can make this work,” she says determinedly and taps furiously at her tablet. “Your first appearance isn’t for a couple days. I want something bold; something that’ll make everyone stop and stare and the first volunteer and wonder what was going through his head.”

“Don’t dress me up like a fucking gladiator,” Dabi says. He recalls that being the go-to in the past – a show of strength and closeness to the Capitol. Gaudy. 

Brown eyes meet his, and fingers that were flying fast over the screen are still for a second. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Back to work.

“Then what, want me to show you my work uniform?” Because nothing says ‘I’m here to win’ like beige coveralls.

“I have bigger plans for you. You’re not going to be something as archaic as a gladiator, and I’m certainly not playing up to your district’s masonry export. If I wanted that I’d go to 12 and deal with the coal mines.” She turns her tablet off and tucks it away to stare up at him. There’s a small spark in eyes otherwise devoid of life. “I know about the secret export that the Capitol overlooks. We’re going military chic.”

Touya’s face crunches into a sneer. “Why don’t you raid my father’s closet, there’s nothing but uniforms in there.”

“You do a good job of looking like a stuffy asshole on your own,” she counters. “I’ll make you look good. You just need to focus on making sure you can win.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Touya says sarcastically. 

Alex goes to the door and knocks twice. “I have full confidence in you Touya — if you want it, I believe you can win it all.”

The Peacekeepers return and escort him to the training grounds. More like a prison with shiny luxuries meant to distract them from the fact that they’re going to die in a few short weeks. 

When the tributes are rounded up the following day, they’re brought back to the harshly lit facility. Alex waits for him again in their room, hands clasped behind her back. Wisps of bright blue hair purposely fall out of the two buns at her neck and barely graze the white dress covering her lightly tan skin. The loose material is cinched at her waist with a thick golden belt. 

For someone who doesn’t want to dress her tribute as a gladiator, she pulls off the toga-esque dress well.

Alex raises an eyebrow and nods to a clothing rack beside her. Touya approaches it and nearly drops the only thing hanging there on the floor when he realizes what it is.

“You can’t be serious,” Touya says.

Alex’s smile drips with overwhelming sweetness that sets Touya on edge. “Today is all about you and making you look good. That’s what you’ll wear today. I’ll step out of the room for three minutes.” Her dress flows behind her as she walks out of the room.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Touya mutters to himself. Regardless, he pulls the clothing off the hanger and strips.

The black, lightweight bodysuit bends easily with him. He gives a couple test jumps with no hindrance. Black boots with thick soles remind him of his work boots – but much better quality. Something the Capitol can no doubt afford. A subtle dark blue honeycomb pattern runs throughout the suit and is only noticeable in the light. Silver metal plates are seamlessly worked into the chest area, forearms, and various points in the back.

There’s a small knock at the door. Alex slips back inside, her eyes greedily roving over Touya’s body again. The corner of her gold stained lips quirks up briefly.

“Is this it?” Touya asks. He extends an arm and moves his bare wrist around. A pair of gloves would help. Immediately he drops his arm. Help? Help what? This is just for show. It won’t help him in the arena.

“I have some accessories to try out over there.” Alex points to a table Touya didn’t notice before in the opposite corner. “You’re my dress up doll today.”

“And this?” Touya gestures to his outfit.

“You’re the future of Peacekeepers.” Alex reaches a hand out and hesitates. She meets Touya’s gaze and hesitantly asks, “Can I?”

He nods and fights the heat rising up his face.

“Naturally, it’s functional,” Alex says confidently. Her nails tap against the metal plating on his forearm. “In a real fight, this would help protect you without the clunkiness the current Peacekeepers have.”

“And protect the vital organs.” Touya can’t help but notice the not so decorative metal covering certain parts of his body.

Alex smiles impishly. “Precisely. Titanium-reinforced plating protects key organs, and a strong reinforced weave body suit resists knife and other close combat weapons.”

Touya frowns. This could actually be for a Peacekeeper in the future. Is he just her toy to promote her fashion line or whatever?

He should be angry. He should tear it all off and wear a his fucking work uniform. He’s going to die, and she’s using him as a model.

But it doesn’t matter. He agreed to this. He volunteered for this. And so what if she wants to use him?

It shouldn’t sting as much as it does…

“If you’re trying to get on my father’s good side to gain his favor, you chose the wrong son to align yourself with,” Touya says bitterly.

“Why would I get on his good side?” Alex tilts her head, “You’re doing this for whatever personal vendetta you have against him.”

“And possibly outfitting the future Peacekeepers hadn’t crossed your mind?” he quips.

“Of course it did,” she snorts, “But I have other avenues for that if I really want to. For now, I enjoy the freedom I get with you tributes.”

Freedom. Tributes. How ironic.

Alex floats over to her accessory table and comes back with a pair of black gloves lined with silver. “Put these on.”

She flits back and forth between the table and Touya, holding up various tools and having him put things on and take things off. It feels like an hour of bartering for different accouterments. No, the belts are overkill. Yes, the gun and knife harnesses are fine. Yes, kneepads are bulky, but they’d be practical. No, he will absolutely not wear anything that covers his neck entirely.

He thinks it’s over and he can go – where? He doesn’t know. Anywhere but here – but Alex drags Touya over to a full length mirror. He’s startled by his own appearance. Alex wanted military chic, and she delivered in a cyber punk, dystopian way. He looks like he should wear a faceless mask and keep the masses bent through fear.

He looks like a minion trained by his father.

He looks like someone his father would be proud of.

Brilliant blue fills the lower half of his vision. Standing on her tiptoes, Alex runs her hands through his hair. Her nails scrape his scalp lightly and send shivers down his spine. This close, he can smell her perfume — an amber and rose mix. To someone who has no time for luxuries like perfume, it’s an assault on his senses, but by Capitol standards it’s rather lackluster. 

“What’re you doing?” he murmurs before clearing his throat and asking the question again in a harsher tone. 

She frowns and runs her hand through his hair again, pinning it back between her fingers. “Trying to figure out how I want your hair styled,” she says absently. 

“Wouldn’t the mirror be better for that?” He gestures at the enhanced mirror, no doubt recording his every move. 

With a huff, Alex steps back and plants her hands on her hips. “Is that what you want?”

No. 

“It’ll make this go faster.”

“Fine.” Alex taps the mirror and pulls him over. Bright lights illuminate his face. Alex taps his hair on the reflection and a menu pops up. “I was thinking about having it slicked back or parted instead of this spiky mess you leave it in.”

She swipes through a couple hairstyles, pausing on a couple to see his reaction. 

Touya turns his head on a couple and stares at his augmented reflection. Slicked back doesn’t look half bad. Parted is a no go.

“I look like my brother like this,” Touya grimaces at the near perfect Natsuo hairstyle, “But slicked is fine.”

Alex studies his reflection. With a wave of her hand everything resets. 

“One more option.” Pulling up a color wheel she drags the color selector to black. Touya watches his hair change from stark white to inky black. “Keep it styled as you have it and change the color. Then during your interview go with slicked back.”

Hair dye?

He does look sinister with it. Deadly. 

“Do it.”

It’s a whirlwind of activity before the parade. Lambs being led to the slaughter.

He’s harnessed into the chariot with the other District 2 tribute who sports a similarly designed suit. Her hair is pulled back in a low bun and her face is caked with enough makeup to be mistaken for a Capitol native.

They’re the second ones in. Cheers and roars from the audience and the warm sun slam into him. When was the last time he felt the sun? On the day of the Reaping?

A round camera flies with them, zooming in on their outfits and faces. Without thinking, Touya raises a hand and makes a finger gun. This one’s for you, old man. Pulling the ‘trigger’, he smirks and goes back to ignoring the device. The crowd’s reaction is deafening.

He ignores the other chariots coming to a rest beside them. He ignores the President and his speech. He ignores the audience. 

Calm.

Cool

Collected.

Keep a level head.

Survive. 

With a jolt, his chariot is following District 1’s out. 

He’s plunged back into darkness and artificial lighting.

Unhooking himself, he hops down and purposefully walks back to his room. Keep the facade going as long as possible.

Silence is just as bad as thousands of people cheering for him.

Amber and rose teasing his nose is the only warning he gets before warm arms wrap around his neck. “Genius! Pure genius.” Alex’s hands trail down his arms. “You made this work for you and the audience loved it.”

He lets her prattle on but doesn’t listen. Instead, his eyes follow the curve of her cheeks and the spark in her eye. There’s even flecks of gold in her irises. How much of her is actually her and how much is changed for the Capitol? Does it really matter? He drinks up her essence and commits it to memory. 

A week passes. Much like the Peacekeepers training in his district, Touya’s kept to a tight schedule. Eat. Sleep. Train. There’s more to it though – layers and layers of politics; impressing the right people, finding allies to fight alongside, measuring up threats.

Trying not to get to know the people he’ll have to kill.

It’s after a brutal day of training when Alex whirls into the room, her eyes ablaze. 

“I heard you took a beating in training today,” she says. Walking over to the wall, she pushes a panel and drags a hidden clothing rack out.

“Is that concern I hear?” Touya taunts.

“Take your shirt off.”

“Bossy,” he scoffs but lifts his shirt knowing full well that if he doesn’t do it, she’ll do it for him. He turns and tosses his shirt in a corner.

“You have your final interview tonight and I need to see if there are bruises where-” There’s a pause. Touya smirks. He knows what she’s seen. “There’s a tattoo.”

One he got as soon as he was old enough and had the money. The first thing he purchased on his own. A dragon that starts at his left shoulder and wraps around his back, crosses his abdomen, and ends below the belt. “And?”

“I didn’t know you have a tattoo,” she says bluntly. He watches her eyes follow the scales wrapping around his hip. “How… How far does it go?”

“Interested in what’s below the belt?”

“I’m interested in how I can use it.”

“In that case, find out for yourself.” Touya expects some banter – a witty retort telling him where he can shove it. But nothing comes. With a sigh he pats the end of the art. “The tail ends on my thigh.”

“Okay. Okay.” Alex says, hands clasped together tightly in front of her mouth. Even with all her makeup, Touya can see the flustered glow rising in her cheeks. “I can work with this.” A pause. “I can work with this.”

“You sound so confident,” Touya says sarcastically. That gets her attention.

“I am a professional,” she snaps back, but it seems to be more of a reminder for herself. She clears her throat and marches over to him. Her eyes pinpoint every bruise on his chest from training. “I’ll cover those up, but we’re leaving your art on display for everyone to see.”

“What, no shirt?”

“No,” she smirks, “You’ll have a shirt… of sorts.”

Turns out ‘of sorts’ means ‘mesh shirt under a leather jacket. Much to Touya’s chagrin, his verbal sparring partner remained quiet during their time together – only answering questions when he asked.

In the end, Touya ends up in leather pants and jacket with neon blue lighting at the seams. Even his boots from the parade were updated with the same strips of light. The only alteration Alex made on site was removing the zipper of the jacket and installing more lights in its place to keep it open and exposing just enough of his tattoo to pique Caesar Flickerman’s curiosity.

True to her word, Alex slicks back Touya’s hair for the interview.

And as usual, he’s impressed with her work.

They’re the first ones to gather at the studio. The other tributes trickle in with their mentors and stylists, but Touya ignores them all. The general buzz of noise around him doesn’t compare to the frustrating silence between him and Alex.

“I don’t know what they’re going to ask, but the vibe I’m going for is ‘play boy’,” Alex finally says. “Make the women want you, and the men want to be you. Confident. Charismatic. Charm the money out of their accounts.”

He lets her ramble for a minute more before sweeping up both her hands in one of his own. Wide brown eyes framed by blue hair stare at him.

She’s shaking.

“Stop,” he says in a gruff voice. “You’re worrying. Where did the confident stylist who wanted to take on supplying the Peacekeepers go?”

“This is your last chance to make a good impression before you go in the arena tomorrow. You need them to like you,” she blurts out. As if he didn’t already know that.

“Whatever happens happens,” he shrugs. “Pull yourself together.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be my line.”

He hears his name and thunderous applause. Dropping her hands, Touya steps back.

“It’s my time.”

“Good luck,” she whispers. Was that meant for his ears? He almost stops. Almost. But she’s right, he needs all the money he can finesse out of these people.

The day of the Games is a somber affair. A bodysuit waits at the foot of his bed for him, and he wonders for a moment when that arrived. He pulls it on and waits silently in his room. No doubt his counterpart is in the main dining area with the mentors going over strategy. He should be there too. But starting this afternoon it’ll be just him.

So why not start being by himself earlier.

He even opts to wait in the arena loading zone by himself. Until Alex arrives to make last minute appearance alterations.

“No special outfit for me today?” Touya asks and gestures to his bodysuit.

“No.”

Right. And he knew that too, but damn, any conversation would be appreciated right now. “Any advice?”

“Don’t die.”

A voice booms through the intercom in the room. Two minutes, tributes.

“Alex.” Desperation rises in his gut. “Kiss me.” Don’t let the last thing I hear and see of you be misery.

“What?” Deep brown eyes filled with pain stare up at him. Fuck. It hurts to see. It’s not the first time he’s left a woman with that look on her face before, but dammit why did it have to be her?

“Just once, before I die.” He’s not pleading. Touya Todoroki doesn’t beg. “You can’t refuse a dying man’s wish.”

“Touya,” Alex smiles faintly, “You’re not going to die.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You’re going to win.”

“Alex…” 

“I know you will,” Alex says fiercely. “You have to.” He hates the way her voice starts to break and quaver. “I… I don’t want to watch you die.”

“Why?”

Say it.

“You know why.”

“You’ll regret it if you don’t say it now.”

Say it. For me.

The intercom goes off again. One minute, tributes.

“I won’t ask ag-”

Soft lips are on his. He wraps his arms around her body and pulls her close. Fuck the Peacekeepers in the room. He’s going to die, and he’s going to enjoy this last moment with Alex.

Nails rake through his hair and elicit a groan from him. He digs his nails in and deepens the kiss. One minute feels like an eternity, but Touya takes it all – her taste, her scent, her sounds – and commits it to memory. Breaking the salty kiss, he stands on the pad and watches the glass casing come down around him at the last second.

Drying her tears, Alex beams at him. Probably trying to stay strong until I’m gone. “Come back to me, Touya.”

And maybe he will.

[hxhhasmysoul]

I read somewhere that said Yuji is parallel with Getou (because in an interview Gege said that both were too kind and sincere in a cruel JJK world). Do you agree?

I've spent over an hour trying to find an interview where Gege said something like that and came up with nothing, so I'd love to know at least which interview this is from, like date or publication's name, if not a link to a transcript.

I don't read Getou as particularly kind personally. His disagreement with Gojou, before they switch positions further down the line, feels quite detached and "academic".

People who follow this blog will be shocked, but I think Gojou is spot on calling out that Getou is trying to be righteous. He's wrong in his disdain for the weak, obviously, but he's not wrong about Getou.

Getou is very clearly repeating something he heard at school or from the jujutsu establishment. He has very clearly bought into their framing of that separates the sorcerers from the general population and also looks down on the normies, considers them weak.

Because this is internalised propaganda and and duty but not some deep personal conviction about the value of life or whatever, faced with reality it crumbles.

He very clearly sees himself as separate from the normies. And here it seems that his choice to protect them as a sorcerer was made after the events with Riko. It's unclear if it was the first time he'd made that choice, for example when he became a student, but it seems that he made it at that point (again?).

The jujutsu world doesn't care for the weak at all, sorcerer and normie alike, it will exploit its own weak like it did with the Star Plasma Vessels, or it will abandon them like it did with Mimiko and Nanako. And because Getou has fully embraced the otherising of non-sorcerers he turns to full blown fascism in which he wants to create a good world just for his own.

___________________

Yuuji's convictions come from within himself. They are deeply rooted in his compassion for others, in his discomfort with the suffering of others.

And he justifies his involvement in jujutsu through there being a thing only he can do to prevent some curse related deaths.

Yaga really strongly challanges Yuuji's convictions in the scene above, he wants to drag something real out of him, something he can trust. And maybe it'll be a leap, but maybe it's because of the regrets he voices.

Regrets concerning Getou.

And it's not only about someone dying fro Yuuji. He show's this concern to the mother of the convict from the detention centre, he shows so much compassion and understanding to Junpei. He understands the gravity of killing Eso and Kechizu, he sympathises with Chousou's pain in their fight. And so on.

He even values the lives of the American soldiers that Kenjaku invited and he gets upset with Angel who acts like their lives don't matter.

Shibuya and the Culling Games haven't beaten out of him the ability to value human life. Because for him it's a true conviction, it's not a duty, not internalised propaganda.

Yuuji's convictions are so strong and true that he even affects Megumi who starts to question the propaganda he'd internalised.

He actually takes the time to consider why he saved Yuuji. He visits the mother of the guy killed in the detention centre. He asks Maki why she saves people.

He doesn't go super far with all of that, his life philosophy is very deeply ingrained in him. But he is affected because his convictions are as weak as Getou's in the beginning.

But there isn't some switch between Yuuji and Megumi in the way they approach others. As there is between Gojou and Getou.

Megumi partially infects Yuuji with the cog mentality, but Yuuji doesn't completely succumb to it and recently he's been showing more and more initiative in how he handles things.

___________

But the lack of similarity goes beyond just their mindsets.

They are approached completely differently by the Jujutsu Society.

Getou was valued among his peers, recognised as a special grade. Even when he defected and started committing violence against the normies he never became a priority for the jujutsu world. There was a death sentence on his head but he seemed to be perfectly capable of operating semi publicly in JJK 0. The sorcerers only take active interest in him once he comes to challenge them. Because in reality he's no threat to them, just to the normies.

Yuuji is considered a normie who consumed a dangerous cursed object. The elders don't see him as human and the sell that view to the Kyoto kids.

Which only Miwa has a problem with, the rest of them are really well indoctrinated.

Sukuna is a threat to normie and sorcerer alike so he cannot be ignored like Getou. He and his vessel need to be eliminated.

So obviously they don't share story and character arcs.

______

So in conclusion, no, I don't see parallels.

If you tell me which interview that comparison supposedly comes from, I could maybe try to understand what that was about.

What Gege actually has said about Getou in one of the interviews is that they wanted it to be clear that Getou had a choice, that they didn't want it to seem like a duh that Getou hated people. That's why the conversation with Yuki is there, to show how he chooses to draw these conclusions, a conversation the fandom loves to misinterpret.

Yuuji has experienced so far a similar if not higher level of trauma than Getou at the point of his defection. Yuuji is constantly faced with such choices in the manga, choices to stop caring about the lives of others, and he never takes them.

I actually find it upsetting when people draw these parallels.

[asoiaf-source]

GRRM wanted to subvert the usual tropes

Remember GRRM started out his series with the intention of writing something that didn't follow the typical tropes and conventions of previous works. GRRM wanted to subvert the usual tropes like the secret hidden 'prince who was promised' perhaps by having that person be illegitimate - Jon fulfills some prophecy by blood, but not through a legal marriage, he is the 'hero' but not the true 'king' at least by rights of succession.

GRRM will not pull a book out of a dark ancient library that gives us all the answers to the past that make everything easy for our characters, or have a weird political marriage between 'siblings / cousins' be what is needed to unite a kingdom (how? everything is fractured, the land decimated, why would the people care about a political marriages in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse?)

Remember GRRM promised or forewarned a bittersweet ending, not all the mains or favorites will survive or have a typical happy ending, and I'm assuming that is especially true for the tortured and much suffering 'hero' - at least that is my gut feeling. To me the two most prominent characters Tyrion and Jon are also the two most likely to die by the end - at least one if not both, driven there by circumstances: blinded by love, rage, or perhaps a noble sacrifice.

Tyrion is already blinded by his hatred and rage, will his better nature win out or will he continue to feed his hatred until his end? GRRM had Jon suffer 'death' and gave us clues that resurrections can happen, but they also alter a person, no matter how Jon manages to remain intact after resurrection, he will not come back the same, there will be notable changes, otherwise why do it in the first place? (the show did this very poorly!)

If they survive they will be much altered, as in not the most well adjusted people, lots of trauma to deal with, to take on the role of the clear-sighted leader needed to rebuild a nation and inspire/lead its people. They maybe able to help and/or advise, but I don't see them as the main leader on top. Both have really been through the most changes physically and mentally and you know it will only get harder and worse by the end, GRRM isn't don't with them yet.

As much as the Stark kids have suffered, I still get a feeling of hope and sense of future with them, they are working hard for some kind of future in mind, they are young and being tested and learning how to be resilient people. They don't know of the larger dealing happening in the world yet, only bits and pieces, but it does feel like GRRM is preparing them to deal with it when their time comes and they finally have full agency to do something. Not sure all will work out, but I just can't see any of them dying or coming to harm by the end of the series. I don't feel any of them have had 'big' player moments yet, so I find it harder to sense a future for them beyond what others speculate on and most of it feels wishful.

As for Dany, she started out subjugated, but quickly found her power and has exerted that power within the story. She is by far the most powerful POV in terms of making changes in the world with large consequences. She means well, but things do not always go well or as she expected. She is learning, but also doing at the same time which makes the outcomes all the more complicated as it affects so many people, and not all of it is welcome change. Dany brings hope, but she also bring chaos, Dany makes friends, but she also makes lots of enemies...

I go back and forth on Dany's ending, mainly because of GRRM trope subversions and with Dany it could go either way. GRRM is building her up for something good and great, but whether she survives or is acknowledged for it? That would be bitter sweet indeed, but also in character for her - well meaning and doing something for the greater good, but often misunderstood or politically attacked by her enemies so that only a few close to her know of her true noble intentions and sacrifices. I want her to live, but I could also see her dying or being killed. She is a symbol and and icon and that is an attractive target for people like Varys or even Cottington, could go either way... I just acknowledge the possibilities.