#the Fandom doesn't even exist and I'm posting this

[gilbirda]

How to Write Women, a quick guide by me

Hello! I was recently inspired to write a series of educational posts so I thought maybe it would be useful for someone.

I want to preface this that there is no criticism intended. I understand that female characters in general have been neglected in media, and I don't blame fandom for not understanding how to write a woman if there hasn't been a good reference in their lives.

My objective is that you, the reader, finish this post with a basic structure and few questions to ask yourself when writing a female character; and with the terms and curiosity to research more if you'd like to expand.

I'm no professional writer, but I've been writing for more than 20 years at this point, and I specialize in writing female protagonists and writing organic romantic storylines.

Here we go.

I want to write a woman, where do I start?

Writing women, at the end of the day, is no different than writing a man. Really, that's the trick.

Disappointed I'm not giving some kind of hot takes about this?

Good.

Because it should be that simple, but to get to that point we should unravel some baseline thought process that can and will get in the way even if you try to write a good female character.

A few questions to ask yourself are:

Why am I writing this character?

Does she have agency in her own story?

Does she have her own goals and aspirations?

Let's break them down:

Why am I writing this character?

What do I like about her? Is she annoying? Is she a hero? A villain? An antagonist? What thing do I like about her canon characteristics (for fanfic writers)? What would I change?

As mentioned at the beginning, female characters usually are not very well written. They are usually fridged or used only as a reminder that MC (usually a man) has emotions and vulnerabilities.

Take a moment to think about it. Think about the feelings her character gives you, and what are the things you do know about her. Think about wasted potential, or unanswered questions about her actions and plot lines that left you wanting more.

If you find her annoying, wonder why — usually, a female character being "annoying" or "not interesting" is tied to her not being developed enough, and pushed into a one-dimensional role. Pay attention at how many speaking lines she has, that usually gives you a clue of how much her character is developed.

Once you have decided who you want to write, this is where it gets interesting.

What kind of story do you want to tell? What role does she play in it?

When making the structure of the story and developing the plot, wonder about how exactly the female character(s) add to the table. Again, female characters can fulfill any role in a story, but watch out!

Bitchy mean girl lesbian

Motherly mommy mom/sister/friend that takes care of everyone

The "healer" of the team

These 3 roles have been used as boxes to fit female characters for ages. Be careful if you think you are pushing her into one of these.

But how can you avoid the tropes?

Does she have agency in her own story?

Or: if you remove her from the story, nothing changes?

Go into your mind palace, and remove the interactions and scenes the female character is in. Does the story still work? Could her lines be easily delivered by someone else?

If the answer is yes, then she doesn't have any agency.

It doesn't matter if she is a main character or a supporting character — she should have a say on the events or some kind of influence in the development of the plot.

Maybe she has a skill that is needed multiple times during the story, or maybe she has past experiences that are a mystery and unraveling her secrets reveals a plot twist, or maybe turns out she was the traitor all along. Make her MATTER.

Does she have her own goals and aspirations?

Or: Is she existing for someone else's sake?

This one is useful for the "mommy" character or the "healer" character.

Go into your mind palace again and think if you remove the female character's loved ones from the equation, does she have something to do?

If the answer is no, then she doesn't exist for herself.

She could still love and take care of others, but she has to exist for something else than that. Make her dream and yearn, and make mistakes, and sacrifice thing for selfish reasons.

Romance is usually a goal given for female characters (and that's a whole other topic I hope to write another post about), and it's a good one! Just be careful with falling for the trap of swapping the people (usually men) she exists for.

Give her hidden agendas, convoluted selfish secret reasons, make her want to destroy the world! Make her want to pursue the truth, chase someone for revenge, be a thrill seeker. Make her HUMAN.

In Conclusion

A quick trick I use when I write female characters is: If I swap her gender, nothing changes?

Of course there's nuance, but that keeps me grounded when even the questions I went over in this post are not enough for me.

Again, writing female characters should not be that different from writing men. If it feels different, ask yourself why and try to understand where the thought comes from.

NOTE: If the point of the story is to discuss the problem of codependency, or portray a toxic relationship, by all means skip checking about agency or her having goals. Rules are there to break them, but first you have to understand them.

I hope this helps someone and I will add and edit this post as needed, maybe to add useful links.

Happy writing!

[not-poignant]

Hi, Pia! A year ago I discovered you through the Mysterious Skin fanfic, which truthfully has helped me in so many emotional layers till this day (and always will). After that read, I jumped on your profile and was blown away by the world you have created with your own hands. You really inspired me to publish my first fic in AO3 recently (for a random fandom), but sadly I've been having a hard time with it.

At the beginning I was relieved that fear didn't stop me anymore, but then it happened again, it came back, in another form, hitting me harder. I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations and when I read one of those I think: "This is perfect, I could never achieve this level, I don't have this voice, I should just delete mine, I don't have nothing to say, I can't make people feel this way" and I hate to have those feelings because I think it breaks down the true meaning of writing in general (to help people, to connect, to make a tribute, to have an emotional journey), but at this point I have lost my mind. My dream was always to be a writer, but I left it behind for so many reasons, now I thought things were changing inside me, but I guess it's not the case, I can't even deal with a fanfic...

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before. How did you start writing? How has it been for you? How do you deal with these things? Feel free to answer me only if you're comfortable with that, I don't wanna put pressure on you as if you were my spiritual guide, but, for all the thoughts and things you share here, I think you are a wise person.

Sorry for the long text, I don't have people in real life to talk to about these issues. I'm really grateful to you already because of your story, it's always in my heart, it's part of me. Btw, I hope you are doing well, keep the amazing work. ❤️

PS: Sorry for the mistakes, not a native English speaker here.

Hi anon,

Congrats on posting your first fic! That's really huge. Even if it does open us up to The Insecurities, it's still a massive thing to do in the first place and I'm so happy for you.

As to everything else, oomf, let's get into it.

So the first thing is there is no writer out there who doesn't get assailed - literally assailed - by insecurities and massive feelings of self-doubt or even self-hatred over their writing (if there is, I haven't met them).

There's no point in writing at which they stop, and if you overcome some, new ones come in their place. I think that's just the nature of the beast - both wanting to (ideally) please at least some of our readers, and also offer something decent to read.

It can help to realise this is a normal part of writing and the experience. Obviously at its most severe, it might require therapy support, or professional support of some kind, but getting assailed by The Insecurities is part of being a creative person.

I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations

So yeah, this is true. Hear me out! This is true for me too. This is true for every writer that exists. Even the ones who win Pulitzers. This is going to sound blunt, but this is true for every story in the world. I know when I post my works that there are better stories with better characterisations out there. And there are stories that I consider perfect to me. But this last part is really important! I don't get to determine what's perfect for everyone. I'm not allowed to make that choice for them. And also people don't read in order to find The Most Perfect Story Ever, they read for many many many reasons, and that one often isn't even on the list! That's just on our list, when we feel beset by The Insecurities.

Like, yes, better stories exist. That's very subjective. They're better to you, they might not be better to some of the readers who read your work, and unless your only goal in writing is to be 'the best ever' (this is not a great goal imho because it's unattainable) sometimes a simple 'oh...yeah I mean it's true there are better stories according to me, but that doesn't mean that people won't enjoy mine, or that people won't think my stories aren't the best, and I'm not even writing to be the best in the world, so I don't know why I'm listening to this because it's not even what my values are in writing.'

But I also need to make it clear that your insecurities will never leave you 100%. They find new ways to come back, and they do keep coming back. We get periods free of the worst of it, often have low-key doubts in the background fairly frequently, and sometimes feel really good about writing. That's...writing. You haven't done anything wrong in your writing or in yourself when you have new insecurities coming in, and you've acknowledged yourself that things have already changed, because these are new or different insecurities. Think of it like an upward spiral, you circle back to feeling insecure, you have to if you want to keep going up.

You won't stay there forever, but the circling is part of the process. It can help to remind yourself of some cognitively true facts - what you think is perfect in writing is someone else's 'worst story ever' if they read it. What you love to read is not necessarily what you end up writing, and that doesn't mean it can't be someone's favourite story. And yeah, someone has already done something better by our standards, because I don't think there's any point on this journey where we go 'that's it, I've done it, I've become the best writer ever, insecurities begone!!!' (It would be nice, but it's not how it works).

So when insecurities come back it's not 'oh god I've failed at writing and/or keeping the insecurities away' it's - this is normal. You can go 'oh I'm being a regular writer right now, in the hard part of it.' I know this. It sucks. It probably means I need a break when it gets really bad, and I need to recharge a bit. I can keep improving, and my writing doesn't have to be anything other than entertaining. I've pretty much struck perfect from my vocabulary. It's too subjective.

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before.

Anon, about twice a year I feel so bad about my writing I become convinced that the only answer is to delete all of it off my AO3 accounts. And on a regular basis I go between what I consider fairly normal insecurities (is that closing okay / is this arc good / will people like this character / have I pushed this too far / oh god my engagement is down am I terrible at writing), to pretty intense ones (idk why I do this nothing I write is good / how have I convinced these amazing people that this is worth their time / I wish I could write like (insert X author here) instead of this absolute mid shit etc.)

It helps me a lot to know that some of it is mental illness, but most of it is actually just normal. I'm a writer who wants my readers to have a good time and who wants to write something I can be proud of, and sometimes my brain won't let me feel proud of anything I've done because I made it, and sometimes I don't like myself very much. It means I should work on liking myself more. It doesn't mean I should stop writing.

I started writing as a kid, to cope with fairly awful life circumstances at home. So I was lucky that insecurities didn't matter because no one was seeing my writing except for me, I already hated myself (because people who were supposed to care for me, hated me - there's a reason I write the stories I do!) and I was literally trying to survive something that some people don't survive.

When I started sharing my writing, The Insecurities came. And...idk, I learned how to recognise it as a normal part of the process. It took a long, long time. It's normal to feel like there's something unique about how much we suffer over not liking our writing or feeling like it's bad, that the insecurities say something really true about our writing or even our integrity as a person.

Most of the time they say nothing at all except about the state of our mental health and how tired we are. For example, it's more normal for artists and writers to hate what they create during times of government unrest, or increased oppression, or in abusive households, because it's a way to redirect a lot of very unpleasant feelings to something we think we can control.

Sometimes it just happens because we're tired and the wave crashes over the dam we have in place that says 'go away insecurities.' Like you'd be amazed how much food, staying hydrated, getting good sleep / having good sleep hygiene can actually keep the worst of The Insecurities at bay.

Sometimes we need a break! Too much of a good thing in writing can lead to our brain trying to tell us we're terrible at it so we'll just walk away and watch some movies for a bit! The best way to prevent that is to take a break before we get there.

The good news is, you're a writer feeling something very normal for us writers. The bad news is that it feels bad. It can help to step back a bit, and also to join some writer's groups online maybe, ones that focus on support and lifting people up.

I wish I could say you one day hit a point where the insecurities never come back, but if anything, I don't think you can do these sorts of crafts without them. At their extremes they're not good for us, but the extremes of anything aren't good for us. You're not alone, I promise. The worst you've felt about your writing, is the worst many people have felt about their writing. It's just...often such a lonely process and many writers don't talk about it, but it's there, and it won't last. It's part of the spiral. Over time, you might find it easier when you know it's normal, and temporary, but frankly, there are times it's just really, really hard.

You will move past this, and then one day you'll touch on this again, and then you'll move past it again. Sometimes we spend longer in it than we wanted to, sometimes we need to take a longer break than we meant to, sometimes we write more than was good for us with how tired we were at the time.

It's not perfect, it's not supposed to be perfect, but it is part of the journey, it just means you're a writer like the rest of us writers, anon. I hope you can find your way back into writing more soon! And I hope you can be compassionate towards yourself. You put yourself out there, and have been writing, and honestly that's fucking amazing. I think you're awesome.

[annicaax]

haha this scene...

[jaijeijayjei]

I guarantee a post like that in the Jayvik tag or Caitvi tag, even if it was respectful and had logical points, would get torn apart. If you disagree that's fine but I stand by that statement and I'm not willing to test it out on my own blog.

This is why "anti" tags exist (There's an anti meljay tag, an anti jayvik tag, etc.).

I feel that you're assuming most fans will be respectful, post in good faith, and be interested in a healthy debate instead of just arguing. But you said so yourself- this fandom especially has so much infighting. Tagging posts the way you're suggesting will only make the atmosphere more toxic than it already is.

Plus, sometimes people just post negative content about a ship because they want to express those negative feelings- not necessarily to have a discussion or share thoughtful points.

Think of this from the perspective of someone in a smaller corner of fandom. Jayvik shippers outnumber Meljay 10 to 1 (rough estimate). If Jayvik fans used the Meljay tag to air out their issues with the ship it would absolutely be flooded with anti-Meljay content which would be irritating as hell.

Imagine opening the Jayvik tag and all the posts are about "why do people see them as a couple, they're brothers," "CL confirmed it's not real," "Jayvik doesn't make sense" - of course discourse is enjoyable but its tiring to constantly see your ship get dunked on, good intentions or not.

I have no issue with people posting things in the Meljay tag that I disagree with. The reason I found this post distasteful is that it read as shipper bait. And yes that was an assumption: but tone doesn't always carry over text and we're all bound to make assumptions about posts. You yourself assumed ppl who took issue with the tagging are hating on OP (And I appreciate you apologizing for being a little harsh). The good thing about online discourse is that we can ask for clarification and at least reach an understanding (like me and that other commenter did with OP).

It's not unreasonable to assume that an ambiguously worded post like this was something that didn't belong in the Meljay tag, for reasons I already discussed.

Fandom culture has changed a lot - I have consistently seen people emphasize that not all content related to a ship should be in the ship tag, especially when anti-tags exist.

Case in point: This is a post I made about why Jayce's affection for Viktor does not mean he doesn't also love Mel, and that it's possible to ship Jayvik without hating on Meljay. I was hoping this post would reach Jayvik shippers so I tagged it as such initially:

And this is a comment I received on that post.

This commenter and I actually ended up having a polite conversation about our takes which was nice. This person wasn't going out of their way to be aggressive- they were just put off by the tagging, and because I was courteous and removed the tag they were more open to having a civil debate. Which goes back to my other point- if people tagged the way your suggesting it would NOT be conducive to a nontoxic atmosphere. I'm not saying I agree with it or like it but that's just the reality of the situation.

I have seen many other comments like this pointing out issues with tagging. So I err on the side of caution.

If you disagree that's cool - just expect that people will point out what they see as tagging issues because fandom culture has shifted.

Wait a sec Mel can sense people’s emotions and has literally had her power since before she was born so the entire time she and Jayce were having sex she could tell he wanted to fuck Viktor and was just like “mm that’s kinda hot ngl”

[all-pacas]

This is not a CamChase post, but, I actually do want to talk about something I feel is deeply underappreciated by fandom, which is: Cameron and Chase are actually friends.

Long before they ever sleep together, all the way back in early S1. The two of them are almost always shown to get along! Cameron sticks up for Chase the entire Vogler arc, refusing (incorrectly) to believe he would rat, or that he should be fired. Chase, noted apathetic, actually tends to go out of his way to compliment or stick up for Cameron in early episodes: he passes along her good ideas to House (Maternity), defends her from House's criticism (Detox), and compliments her good ideas in Pilot and DNR, something he notable never does once for Foreman.

They get along! They have a joking conversation about lab results and House and Foreman's fight in Socratic Method. In Paternity Chase makes a sort of borderline inappropriate joke that the patient should take his mind off his pain by admiring Cameron's boobs; Cameron laughs instead of getting offended. In Sports Medicine, he teases her about her upcoming date with House. In Hunting, before the meth hookup, Chase is openly worried about her and asks Cameron to drinks; he even offers to do extra work so she can take it easy! Chase! The laziest man alive!

But to me, the most telling example is in in Mob Rules. We're at the start of the Hameron arc, and last episode Cameron asked House if he liked her, which he didn't answer either way. And what does Cameron do? She talks to Chase about it.

CAMERON: Did House seem weird to you? CHASE: Are you expecting him to be weird? CAMERON: We spoke about how we felt. CHASE: You told him you liked him? CAMERON: No, of course not. CHASE: What are you talking about, then? CAMERON: I asked him if he liked me. CHASE: Why would you do that? CAMERON: Because… I like him.

They're friends! Chase reacts with zero surprise that Cameron likes House; she goes to him for advice in a moment she's feeling vulnerable. He already knows she likes House, Cameron wants his opinion. This is a conversation between friends.

In fact, this happens a few times. Notably, Cameron tries very hard to get Chase to open up to her in Cursed:

CAMERON: You know, parents are never as bad as kids think they are. CHASE: You like my dad so much, ask him out. CAMERON: [joking] I’d make an excellent step-mom, I’m very lenient. [pause] He’s your father, you never see him, and he’s here. Unless he’s done some unspeakable thing, you should lighten up. CHASE: Right, thanks for the tip.

And, yeah, she clearly doesn't get it, but she's trying! She's joking around, she cares. Cameron tries to get Chase's advice in Sleeping Dogs Lie, she commiserates with him in Deception, she unilaterally defends Chase in The Mistake. They joke around sometimes, she confides in Chase when the TB guy in TB or Not TB asks her out: Cameron goes to Chase for relationship advice! More than once!

These are conversations that do not happen with other characters: Cameron and Foreman indicate they respect one another medically, but never have personal conversations; Chase doesn't open up to anyone, period. But whenever Cameron is looking for advice or to share romantic gossip… she goes to Chase. And Chase, for his part, likes to tease her (and she him: sex can kill you was 1000% Cameron trolling him), but honestly tends to be… if not automatically sympathetic, he listens, he jokes about TB Guy, he knows about her crush on House and treats it like old news. They're! Friends! I would actually argue this is probably the main reason Cameron goes to him when she decides she wants casual sex: Chase is someone she, in fact, likes. Even if that liking is not romantic. (Even the btw we should have sex, I will never love you is uh. Unless you are totally deranged that is not how you approach a fwb situation. Unless you. You know. Know Chase isn't gonna be offended because he already knows you're friends and aren't trying to drag him.)

And this actually does continue once they do date, btw. They're constantly hanging out. Chase spends entire episodes of S5 just hanging out in the ER. He still likes to tease her (Whatever it Takes), she inexplicably/hilariously still ropes him into her House drama (Ugly), but I can count on one hand the number of times they bicker or are unkind and mean it. They are friends! They always were friends. And that was the case long before they ever hooked up. In an AU where they never dated, they would still be friends. Their (romantic) relationship was badly written, no one likes it, I get it. But honestly I really do love how well they got along in S1-2, and I wish people appreciated that friendship more.

[pearlcaddy]

LOCKWOOD & CO. 1.08

[macadam]

From here on out when making posts about transformers stuff I love I’m not gonna put in a footnote every time about how much other bad stuff there also is in the franchise/fandom. Cause trying to keep posts well rounded and faithful to the entire tf fandom as a whole every single time is so exhausting and also the tf fandom sucks? Additionally it’s too large. Lastly they are nothing to me. They are nothing. Why am I thinking abt the bad parts of fandom all the time when the original goal was to gush about something I really like.

Anyways I love optimus prime he has so much love in his heart

and also autism

hit post

[gemrocknerd]

I'm an animation student now in a limited program. 90 whole humans, all tight knit and bright eyed and excited to be doing what we worked our asses off to do. And while that's awesome, and I'm super grateful to have had passed portfolio and been accepted into this program, I don't think there's any real art classes or warnings that can prepare you for what really comes with this whole thing. And I don't just mean in like the... typical young "holy shit this is the real world" way, I just mean the way things are now alone. I knew that the real world will be a culture shock, but this isn't a culture shock. It's something else.

Your classmates and yourself are surrounded by this perpetual knowledge that things are weirder now. All of you want to do different things, and all of you have the same dream of creating a story that consumes and inspires others as much as the stories you grew up with consumed and inspired you. Every single person in that room has an OC, or a grandiose story in their mind they've had since they were a kid; even the professors. But there's this understanding that, even with all the absolute, complete and utter passion you may have for this concept; there is no promise under the current environment of late stage capitalism that promises any of it.

We talk about it all the time. Generative AI slop, theft of animators time and work, the impossibility of being hired as companies push out want ads without ever having the intention of actually hiring them. Hell, Disney just a few weeks ago sent out to hundreds, if not thousands of applicants, that they just weren't doing any hiring. No one got hired, not one, out of everyone who applied; and they just closed it off saying "sorry, yeah, no one got hired. haha!" And call it potential industry nepotism, because there's a high chance if there was a hiring, it was inside the company. But this happens everywhere and with everything, and if there's not that failure, then there's always some clause in the fine print telling you that all your work now gets to be chugged into a soulless machine so that they can keep making money off your work after they've laid you off. It's like watching this whole thing crumble and you, a lowly college student who hasn't even learned how to use goddamn Maya without wanting to die, are paying witness to the already pipe dream you worked years toward just be... permanently disfigured.

And yeah, the Animation Guild is on strike; that's an extreme bout of hope. But where even does art come into any of this now? We don't have the same freedom and capability to create that we had before. People consume slop because they just want to consume something, anything, just to forget how fucking miserable everything is. And you're sitting here knowing just how much potential is missed, knowing that streaming services gut what could be incredible series and cartoons just for the sake of it; limit them to a handful of episodes and throw them to the gutter the moment they have to pay too many residuals. You know everything that you could create, no matter how incredible, could be reduced to absolute garbage and there would be nothing you can do about it; because the people who have the money, don't want to spend that money on a dream. Your life's dream and work could become reduced to a couple thousand view YouTube essay on mediocre writing and a lazy concept.

And I'm so tired of being aware of this. I can tell we all are because we all are just... throwing ourselves into this work. We've already had the comments; "you guys are one of the most respectful bunch we've had," or "i'm really excited about this cohort," or subtly telling us that we're almost too aware of where the industry is now and how little we really stand out. We're realistic.

It's harrowing. And it sucks.

I know there's way worse world issues going on right now and most of them tie into why art is on the decline as a whole. But part of me keeps this constant hope that, maybe, the student sitting behind me will get to make their story into a reality someday; or the student sitting beside me will be able to make a living doing what she loves. And maybe the environment will change the more I learn.

Everything is sink or swim and I really pray to god this current generation of animation students brings buoys.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

just got reminded of why i don't go on my dashboard/the main fandom tags anymore

half the time i go in like 'oh boy i can't wait to see what's going on with the blorbos!!' and most of the time i leave growling and foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal

[asexualtonysoprano]

one thing that really pisses me off is when fandom-brained people say that fanfiction is simultaneously not only a magical transformative punk (?) work of art but also a non-threatening feminist hobby that should never be criticized ever.

if fanfiction is an art form it is therefore open to criticism, and if it's a hobby i will not take it seriously. continuing to exist in this self-created limbo of being the most progressive art form and also just a silly little hobby is stupid and helps nobody.

[jlf23tumble]

Jen, v random but I think you follow the whatiwillsay pod? I was wondering if you had thoughts about their larry ep from a couple of years ago? 

I do follow her on spotify, but I don't always listen (depends what I have in queue, the topic, etc). I *did* listen to that ep, though, and I disagreed with pretty much all of it MAINLY because you can't have it both ways, i.e., you can't say here's all this gryles proof, here's all this swiftgron proof, then dismiss larry or kaylor when it's the exact same amount of evidenceTM. Like, I'm all for reaching, reach away! But when you're matching, then match it! If it's fandom bullshit, call it as such, but where there's that much smoke, there's at least a wee bit of fire!

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

People going off about how fans of a ship are toxic yuri/yaoi fans and are creating so much of that primo content 🤝 People complaining about fandoms being filled with rated E dead dove and non con fic

Being liars because like. Bitch where. Where's all the so called toxic yuri/yaoi fan stuff? Are the "hundreds" of non con fics dominating your fandom in the room with us right now? If you can find it I'd love to see it

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

noooo my victor hugo joke post is escaping containment (my beloved followers and mutuals who do not gaf) into the actual hugo fandom

[romance-evil-aro]

shoutout to everyone in the notes either proving or completely missing the point of this post i couldn't do it without you <3

[watery-melon-baller]

on the one hand, i really like working on the script for this video essay. on the other hand, it feels like im just being super negative and and a hater towards the entire toh fandom because they like making their dolls kiss

[nightingale-bloom]

i feel like just trans'ing a bunch of character whose creators i know would hate it. like, elyon from patrick carman's 'the land of elyon.' prolly wouldn't be happy about his fictionalized version of christian god being hc'd trans. if anyone else has a character they wanna do this to, then send 'em in. i might make a masterpost later, but idk. def working on an actual design for elyon tho, he's never actually seen. ik that was on purpose, but i have 0 respect for tloe's original narrative and have already made pervis and roland (perland) super gay in my hc